#and now im being punished for it but it was worth it. it was great

[b4kuch1n]

this cold med fucked me up bad I did barely anything but sleep and write this

[thepringlesofblood]

the vibe im getting from FHJY is that this is the season where they really lean into the high school aspect. that probably sounds bonkers since its called Fantasy High, but like. hear me out.

Freshman year, they come at high school from the "John Hughes" "80s teen movie trope" vibe, which is to say different from the real-world experience of high school.

it works great! operating in that frame of reference makes everything flow really well, and hits all the high-school-related-media notes in a very satisfying way while putting its own spin on it and not getting bogged down by the actual slog that is high school in reality.

there's still a lot of more modern inspo, but it stays in the kinda expectation-suspension-tropey area of how 80s movie high school works.

Sophomore year is spring break! I believe in you! They're not at school! They're on an adventure!

They lean into being a teenager and coming-of-age themes a lot (obvs), but the only big reference point to the institution of high school is that it'll be worth 60% of their grade.

A huge point, to be sure, and the exact kind of objectively unfair but somehow not against the rules shit that happens in high school, but not the main driving force of the season.

arthur aguefort also does a bunch of wack shit but it's more fantasy than it is high school although its a lot of both.

they lean into adventuring as a set career path much more, with the school giving money for hirelings and offering a basic incentive for other students to go, so that's a loose connection to the real-world career counseling high schools have, but again, not the main thing.

VERY Important though: we are now very much in the present. The viral shrimp party, livestreaming Kalina, online banking, the epic of Gorgug building a cell tower? this isn't john hughes 80s town anymore, this is now. (at least in Solace).

Junior year

almost everything in the trailer is about academia

we've got the cool doodles-in-the-margins style art and intro

in the interviews and BTS (so far), the cast have talked a lot about what they were like in high school (not the 80s)

and the precedent that The Seven set where the MacGuffin was getting their GED? It's time.

we're getting into what is actually hell about high school - the institution itself. the arbitrary standards that academia in the US holds, and how it leaves behind, punishes, and fails its students in its extremely important role of preparing them for life as an adult.

i could talk about this all day, but personally for me the quote from the trailer that shot me back to my junior year of high school was "You have perfect grades, and it still might not be enough for you to graduate"

riz's arc this season is shaping up to punch me in the academia trauma and personally i can't wait for the catharsis

Brennan has shown time and time again that he Gets and wants to tell stories about the ways in which the US education system affects, hurts, shapes, traumatizes, changes people, and how they survive and recover from it and make their own lives. I for one am so so ready to see that reflected with the bad kids.

[thedemonsurfer]

Not me making myself sad thinking about Ruin qq

Im just! He never got a chance! He spent 50 years in his own dimension just trying to survive, not draw attention to himself while he worked on his plans to not just get rid of his Creator, but all Creators that were going to be problems.

And then he gets to 'our' dimension, and while this can't be the ONLY time he's ever had the chance to have allies, it's certainly his Best chance. Especially when they don't kill him! They 'cure' him instead! Surely there's hope!

And then it doesn't

Go

Anywhere

He lived as an ally for 3 months before anyone bothered getting him repaired. He was an afterthought, an awkward annoyance.

And everyone puts such great emphasis on how they didn't trust Ruin-- but I don't think he ever was given a reason to trust THEM. And whatever tolerance or hope he had for finding allies, maybe even friends, went out the window when Moon demanded to pick through his head.

How fucked up is it, knowing you have to corrupt most of your own mind to hide your tracks, because this person for sure will never be an ally? That any hope of being able to get their help in your plan, an effective yet terrible plan, has been completely dashed?

That you're as alone now as you have been for your entire life?

There had to have been alternatives. Maybe if the home crew had been more accepting, if Ruin had gotten access to different perspectives and resources and ideas, maybe an alternative could have been found.

But those things were never an option for him. And of course he stuck with the plan even if it meant Solar would die too-- sacrificing all dimensions for the sake of one person who was only kind of nice to you is a stupid thing to do if you've gotten this far.

(Man it must have hurt to hear Solar's last comment about him be "I guess we should have killed him". Like Ruin was an afterthought of some kind, not even worth addressing directly. Solar might as well have said "I guess I shouldn't have ordered the sushi".)

And yeah i know I'm just a major sucker for accepting punishment gracefully, of the fact that he knows his actions are unforgivable and hasn't tried to argue for any reasons why he shouldn't die-- the most he's said is a small plea that his death is painless, but even then he's resigned himself to suffering. He just wants to help. He's Moon's savior complex and Sun's unshakeable focus smashed together into one.

I know in the show either he's going to sacrifice himself to help, or someone like a Creator will kill him. I don't see him acting as a direct enough threat to justify letting the good guys kill him (congrats Eclipse you graduated to good guy for this).

But man.... I just really want to see someone have been nice to him. For Moon to forgive him somehow, maybe after Solar is back? I wish he could be pulled out of the pit he's in, because there's no light at all for him right now 8(

But I guess that comes with being an Eclipse. There's no hope for you, you're just.... screwed on whatever path you end up on.

[namecantbeblank]

Can you give me a little TL:DR for begore the brazilians came? It's just too much to accompany and im lazy, sorry-

Anon, there is a ton to go over, but I'll just give you some big plot points okay? I'll try to organize them! People please reblog/comment with more points. Sit back. Hold your breath. This won't be in exact order, and this is slightly English POV heavy, but it's what I can think of right now.

Before Eggs:

The original Spanish and English members arrive on a train, split into two groups. They solve puzzles to escape and blow up the wall that was separating them both.

They 'meet' the Duck through videos, telling them what to and most importantly, to not blow up the wall, which Vegetta immediately does.

They meet Osito Bimbo / Cucurucho , a fully white snowman/bear like creature that claims they're from the QSMP census bureau. Seems harmless, and some fun is had with them.

La Villa de Sacapuntas is created, consisting of Wilbur, Jaiden, Phil, and Slimecicle, serving as an early civilization and interaction before Spreen, Missa and Roier took it over. Lots of lighthearted events here, great interactions between people.

Everything is lighthearted for a bit until the egg event. I honestly recommend watching day 1 vods.

Egg Event:

Live translation is introduced, as well as the eggs! Players are introduced to the concept, rules and partnerships regarding the eggs, which are as follows:

The eggs are Dragon eggs, and players must protect them until the mother returns.

Each Egg has two lives. They may be lost through dying or failing to complete egg tasks (Lethal and Happiness tasks)

The family with the happiest egg will be rewarded, and any families with eggs that die will be punished.

Each family has a partner who speaks a different language (minus single parents, Bad and Quackity)

If an egg bed is broken, the egg loses a life.

Everyone adopts their eggs, names them and gets their partners. Some parents, like Phil and Missa and Spreen and Fit, have one of their partners go on a trip, so they're basically single parents.

Families begin, some more stable than others, and egg personalities are learned.

Family Disputes, Early deaths, and Satan:

In the early days of the eggs being around, there were a few deaths, but none permanent.

Families like Charlie and Mariana, Quackity and Tilin and Max and Dan quickly show how dysfunctional they are. Either with outright arguments or lack of proper interaction with their egg. But everyone tries their best

Families like Roier and Jaiden, Philza and Missa, and Bad and Dapper are very positive and have little issues for the most part. Everyone is becoming attatched to these eggs.

A new person joins the party: Satan (The Devil) and Lil J (The Angel/Jesus). Played by Rubius, each of these characters talk with the parents and give them rewards for performing tasks. The Angel also has contact with a higher God, allowing eggs to be revived or given another life.

Egg Death 1: Misclick

After going AFK, Mariana accidentally clicks on Juanaflippas bed and destroys it, taking her last life.

Everyone is distraught, especially Charlie.

Charlie goes a bit insane. He starts a plan of revenge, trying to murder all the other eggs in an attempt to bring Juanaflippa back. He fails and is talked down.

Egg Death 1.2: The Rebirth of Juanaflippa and The Court Case

After failing to kill the other eggs, Charlie starts a court case against Mariana. He gets five lawyers. He kind of loses.

This is honestly a stream worth watching from any POV. Very funny.

The Judge allows Juanaflippa to be reborn. The dysfunctional family is back together.

Charlie and Mariana make up and have sex. Again. This happens multiple times on screen. I hate them

Egg Death 1.3: She fucking died

After Charlie exiles himself, Juanaflippa and Mariana stay in the greater island.

Mariana, while fighting a vindicator, fucking kills Juanaflippa again

Osito Bimbo visits Charlie in exile to tell him his egg is dead. Charlie doesn't believe them, and they have an argument.

Both parents are in a strong stage of grief, wanting to kill other eggs sometimes.

There is a semi-ongoing attempt to bring her back.

Egg Death 2: The Neglect of Trump

After the court case, Trump loses his second life. His parents are Maximus and DanTDM- Dan hasn't been on since the beginning, and Max forgot to take care of him.

Maximus goes a little crazy after. I don't remember the details but he started like, eating a lot

Trump has been found in the promotional posters tho?? And there's a lot sus about him. Don't quote me on that though.

Egg Death 3: Misclick PT.2 + Quackitys downfall

Before Juanaflippa died the second time, she and Charlie were taking care of Tilin. Tilin was going to go with Roier, who usually took care of them, but Charlie took her instead. During the night, Charlie accidentally hit Tilin while fighting a mob with a sword, killing him.

Juanaflippa is distraught that her friend died, Roier is yelling at Charlie, and Charlie and Mariana are officially named misclick duo.

Quackity finds out. He's out for revenge. He goes mental, planning on killing eggs and Charlie. He is eventually talked down a bit by Wilbur, forming his attachment to Tallulah, but it doesn't end there.

(Modern day) Later on, in the strip club, Vegetta and Roier perform a... show.. for Quackity specifically, where Quackity reveals he wants to kill the eggs still. He's basically just been spiraling since his kid died.

The Funeral

The third official event scheduled, the funeral was an event to remember Tilin, Trump and Juanaflippa. Slimecicle watches from exile as the other parents of the dead kids speak.

Mariana tries to blow up the chapel and everyone in it. He was stopped.

They all go to the graveyard after, where the cameras are destroyed (Max thought they were from the census bureau), and Osito Bimbo appears.

Osito leads the parents to a place, much like a limbo, where they can see their dead eggs one more time. Charlie comes back from exile for this.

Bad and Spreen fight lmao

As a result, Quackity asks Charlie to fight, and Charlie lets him win.

Wilburs return/Tallulah

I think he technically came back a bit before the funeral

But when Wilbur returns after being on Tour, him Fit and Phil go to the adoption center and check the attic.

They find an egg, Tallulah, and Wilbur adopts her.

They spend the day making the house, when Quackity comes up to him

Quackity thinks Wilbur is the father of Tilin, so they have a whole argument, and Wilbur goes to Tilins grave.

They end on decent terms, but later on Quackity insists on taking care of Tallulah, calling her his adoptive daughter, etc. Even when Phil is taking care of her. You see this become a bigger issue in recent streams

The Rise of Gegg

Charlie Slimecicle, grief-ridden and poor, makes a plan with Quackity to make a fake egg to rob people. It quickly gets out of hand.

Charlie morphs into a green, squishy egg and is found In a room in the adoption center. By using the excuse that Charlie is in exile, and with this egg acting like a regular egg, Gegg is now created.

Quackity adopts Gegg but quickly abandons him, so Gegg has to interact with others for help

Not many people really like Gegg. But Charlie is committed to the bit. He is Gegg now. Gegg is real. Gegg has taken over Charlie. Gegg. Gegg. Gegg.

Six Days.

The members get a video stating that in six days, their eggs will die. There is also a secret code in the video that hasn't canonically been solved

Panic and disbelief obviously happen, and parents take the time to take care of their kids and do extra events with them.

The night before the sixth was very emotional.

Parents wake up to their kids being gone, and the Brazilians coming in the ship.

Other points I couldn't fit in:

There are so many relationships, flirting and cheating that there's no way for me to list them all. But it does create drama. This is gay island at this point. LGBTQsmp.

The mobs are progressively getting stronger and harder, with new strange mobs appearing

The Code Monster, as we see more of now, attacked Phil before he and Fit killed them.

Roier becomes a psychologist and also has a female counterpart named Melissa.

There are some cases where people have "Nightmares," aka noncanon egg deaths. Sometimes there's a mob that is uneccessarily strong, lag happens, or other circumstances that lead them to giving the egg their life back and the event being retconned. Examples of this are Chayanne and Tallulah, Dapper, and Bobby

Luzu has a whole arc about being like, a robot? Arin? But I'm not caught up on that. Someone help

Bad is often the designated babysitter for eggs, followed by Phil

Maximus is actually a really fucking good actor and won awards for roleplaying. Fun fact

Maximus had a chess match with Osito Bimbo, which ended up in Osito giving him information.

I'm going to tell you right now, I could probably make a whole other list of running inside jokes

Quackity is canonically two people. English Quackity and Spanish Quackity

Roier got stabbed by Spreen with the help of Quackity, and is now looking for revenge

Check out clip channels/tiktoks for fun stuff. There's some blogs here too!

Hope this helped some, Anon! I know this is a big read but I hope you can at least scan and understand. If anyone has anything to add please reblog!

[honey-minded-hivemind]

GAAAAAHH, Your so good man! While writing for Hank, I drabbled a little with how reader feels/felt?

Now, Reader didn't feel unloved of course, they loved the platonic yan adults and the teens/kids very much! But... they couldn't help that they didn't feel unconditionally cared for, the fact that they weren't actually related to them (Im shooting for that being what reader truly believed) always burned in the back of their mind, they felt the others had every right to turn them away if reader sought out that family bond from them, because they weren't really family, so why would they need to reach out to reader in that way? Reader knew they were loved, but that didn't change or get rid of the the pain, or the guilt they felt for not being grateful for the relationship/s they did have with everyone, they should be satisfied with the love they have, but they aren't, there's a part of reader that wants a kind of affection they truly believe they don't deserve.

So if Reader were related to Hank/Beast? The world is going to see a whole new side of him, a part of him that's merciless, because someone has been taken from them, and that can't go without punishment. He would be so so angry with himself, for never seeing that his kid was there with them the whole time, no one knew, and now reader and the others were gone, and nothing could change that. Then learning about how reader felt, something in him snapped, and he would do anything to make sure the future was a better one... even if the kids were the price they payed.

Dude you've got to let me know if I need to slow down, anyways, love ya!

🐑 Anon

Holy mole... That is a good take on a passage Reader would write, 🐑 Anon! They wouldn't have many notes written, or too much, but what they do have is hidden, all put in the same box and tucked away in a closet or under the bed or hidden behind books or beneath a floorboard. The notes have various dates, sometimes a few days apart, sometimes several months, even a year or so, but it details how Reader truly feels... And it's not great. They felt less than the others. Like they weren't worth as much. If anything happened to Reader, it wouldn't hold as many consequences, but it would break the others if something happened to another kid or adult, so they'd do everything they could to keep them alive. It portrays their fears, of abandonment, of hatred, of being cast out if they overstepped a boundary. It shows small portraits they've made of the others, or small notes on what to get them, what they like, the best ways to cheer them up...

It's heartbreaking, for the adult platonic yans to read through them, seeing how Reader tried so hard to please them and make them happy and keep everything together... And it's even worse when one of them is their parent. One they never knew about, one they'd never have a relationship with... and one who would never be able to form that bond with Reader.

If Hank was there parent... He's a sweet person. He's patient, he's good with kids, he's helpful and kind and caring... After this... He gets a bit darker. He still loves the kids and his friends, don't get him wrong! But... he misses the ones who are gone. The ones they couldn't save. And he spends hours, perfecting medicines and devices to help keep the others healthy and safe and to get rid of any... unnecessary individuals. What happened will not happen again. Not if he has any say in it. This tragedy... it will not be in vain. They learned their lesson. They cannot let others hurt them, or their children, or others like them. If they can't choose peace and acceptance freely, then they will accept it forcefully. And my oh my, the ideas he has to help keep the order amongst the people... Nothing violent, no. But perhaps something that... inclines them to make certain choices. To act a certain way, or to think a certain thought... And all the ways it can be administered. Medicines, drugs, perhaps a few small chips or trackers, to better keep an eye on every individual, especially the ones who are rather... outspoken...

It isn't easy, trying to move on. Trying to keep this new peace. Trying to right a wrong that has nothing they can right.

He had a child.

Now he does not.

Neither one of then knew the other was there, within reach, and now neither of them will be able to have the other as family. It hurts, deep down inside, worse than when his mutation further manifested, worse than being cooped up inside the mansion for a few months, worse than any accident in his lab. Those could be managed; handled; dealt with; healed. This... this wound won't heal. And while he is thankful for the others who are still there... he truly misses those who aren't.

Perhaps this path is dark, full of sorrow and doubt, but all they can do is make the best of it. The woods of paradise may be lovely, dark and deep, but he has promises to keep, and miles to go before he sleeps... (miles to go before he sleeps...)

(We have Erik and Hank down; that leaves The Professor, Storm, Wolverine, Sabretooth, and Mystique, as possible parents to Reader, that we can explore before anything is made canon to the au!)

[snickerdoodlles]

So interested in this so 📓 here.

😂❤.

i don't talk about it much on main, but i fucking adore Prapai/Sky's jealousy kink. i loooove me a good jealousy kink. Sky and Prapai love being possessive of each other as much as they love being possessed. Sky really said "i completely trust you, i just also like getting mad at you when your exes are annoying and fucking you over it" and Prapai really went "yes please, please use me any and every way you wish especially like this." WE LOVE TO SEE IT.

things i'm also immensely in love with: Sky doesn't think he's worth love, but then gets liberally drowned in affection and care from Prapai and soaks it up like a sponge. and equally, Prapai is so fucking excited to devote his everything to Sky. i have cried to great lengths in DMs about how Prapai is a very caring guy and obviously an excellent hookup, but...nobody really wants him for him. he has a lot of past hookups eager for another, but so many of them express extreme disbelief at the fact that Prapai likes being a total malewife when in fact Prapai is so eager to shower Sky with affection extensively and enjoys doing so immensely.

...i was going somewhere with this.

so! Prapai! my sweet darling boy. he has the vibe of someone who's always been very affectionate, but it was not always welcomed. not in a bad way, just that the people usually seeking his company don't like when he drives two hours for stewed eggs or showers them with flowers three days in a row. they might like it for a few days as a fun hookup thing, but its always on a (short) time limit.

so imagine one day, Prapai and Sky are on a date and one of Prapai's past hookups stops by to say hi. canonical jealous brat Sky is already planning out how he'll put this guy in his place now and fuck Prapai about it later, but then the ex-hookup wiggles his eyebrows at Sky and jokes how he'll have to bolt after lunch before the smothering begins.

and Sky's brain does a complete record scratch. total bluescreen, hackles raised, doesn't-realize-he's-hissing because fucking WHAT!? Prapai is the BEST BOYFRIEND in the entire WORLD, this man should be on his knees WEEPING Prapai is Sky's and not his, no one is even half as lucky as Sky is because none of them have a Prapai who showers them in love and affection and tiny kisses because there's only one Prapai in the entire world and he is SKY's.

Sky doesn't bother responding because honestly nothing can convey the depths of his contempt at that remark as well as his best pissed bitch face, he is wrapping himself in Prapai's arms and glaring at the ex-hookup until he goes the fuck away. then Sky rants that that man is a FOOL, why did you ever sleep with someone so stupid P'Pai, don't you have TASTE--

Prapai, grinning madly and holding back tears: i thought you didn't like when people hit on me

Sky: did you want him to hit on you! only i get to hit on you! why do you even want someone stupid like him to hit on you--

Prapai, clutching him: i don't!!!! i only want my Sky~

Sky, clutching back: you're embarrassing, i'm punishing you for this later

Prapai: :D! :D! :D! :D! :D!

tl,dr; Prapai is in love with Sky's prickly bitchiness, Sky is equally in love with Prapai's effusive affection, they engage in extensive amounts of PDA showing off just how much they adore each other at the expense of everyone else ❤

[[ ask me about fics im not writing ]]

[synthleeius]

Hi! I saw you the reblogged the same big mouth fic I reblogged. Big Mouth Is the best abd I love lee Jay. I was just wondering if you had any big mouth tickle headcannons? Honestly the lack of big mouth in the tickle fic community is a real woof.

hi!! ur so real for this one bc there isnt enough content for big mouth just in general. unfortunately i dont really have much hcs for them but its a huge comfort show for me so i thought id try and come up with a few for you xx

saying this now there not great but yk 💀 did my best

matthew absolutely hates being tickled in public, he'll definitely shove whoever is trying away😭he thinks its SO embarassing but its different behind doors, he fucking adores it

he doesn't really like it when people are too rough with him because it can hurt sometimes. (gonna use jay as a example because matthew and jay were my fav💔💔 BRING THEM BACK)

when jay first tried tickling him he wasn't really experienced in it and definitely. not good at it💀 BUT ITS NOT HIS FAULT

Matthew had to like teach him in a way? like lead his hands with his. he was embarrassed as fuck but it was SO worth it

jay is the kind of lee to like. PROVOKE.

he had to have tickling explained to him since he didnt really know what it was growing up

so he started trying to get people to tickle him as a punishment sort of thing?

he didnt know it was okay to like it, as in he thought it was weird to. but somebody eventually (mattew SORRY im so down bad for them) told him its somewhat normal to like it and then he started plain asking.

ik nobody gives a fuck about caleb but I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM☹️☹️ so im gonna ramble

it depends on the day with him tbh

sometimes he gets badd sensory overload from tickling and will dismiss it completely, and other times hes okay with it.

he wouldnt really trust alot of people with it, so its usually just matthew who tickles him most of the time because he knows when and were, and how to.

he usually likes gentle tickles instead of rough, he doesnt want to be gasping for breath just like. breathy giggles.

if somebody wanted him to tickle them, they literally couldn't drop little hints. you have to tell him directly or else he doesn't get it at all😭

he is SO SILLY oh my god my absolute fav

[rianafying]

still here doing my assignment and journaling

maybe the reason i'm avoiding my home is because it represents all the tasks i fail at, and all the things i could lose, that aren't even that great to begin with. like it's an okay apartment at best if im being honest. and i cant find my passport that i need to look for, and my myki card, and what else, im taking a timelapse rn, i was watching a movie that i paused to do this journal entry, if i had some food to eat, i'd never leave this place, im really happy here, doing nothing, maybe what i want to do is nothing. maybe we all work hard so we can rest. how ironic is that? life. what about it? have i ever had a thought truly worth sharing? is that even what matters? shareability? originality? but it feels good to be valued. to be enough. but is it enough just to be enough in the eyes of others? is it enough to be enough in one's own eyes? what is enough to keep on going? i haven't had water in many many hours. i think i am seriously mentally ill. and i have these obsessions. and it's just moments before everyone finds out what a monster i truly am and punishes me for it. it's all i was born for, to be punished and then to be punished some more, for a crime i didn't commit, or for not knowing what crime im committing, it's just such a chore, to keep on living. but hank does it, and so does john, and they have siblings and spouses and kids to live for. i don't and i don't want to either, i want to leave guilt free. free to go anytime i want. i am free to go, im always free to go yet here i am. why. why is everyone still here? they're better people than i am. they're more appreciative of life, more grateful for things than i can ever even try to be. even with my active gratefulness meditaions, most people are better people than i am. because they are better to themselves. i try to be my kindest. things are so complicated, all these letters im tryping into a magic box as i sit in an air conditioned room thousands of feet above ground, looking over at the sprawling metropolis that is melbourne cbd. i create content, i turn it in, i go home, i thrift. what for? make it make sense. make it meaningful. or make it stop. my butt hurts a little from sitting in the same spot for hours. i really hope the light doesn't come back on. it's far too bright and i hate it. i feel like everything's so compkicated. i have to think about how im probably damaging my eye and health by looking at my screen in the dark and not having eaten in 2 days. i feel like we're all collectively moving towards surviving in a perfect equilibrium to the point where any minor inconvenience is enough to send us spiraling on a tangent. people used to hunt and gather before. therewas no stability. all i know now is fear of losing stability. it's all about moderation. about towing the line. not enough and too much. at the same time. i wish someone would love me in a way i understand, in a way that i could love them back. love has no meaning and no place in my life anymore. maybe i need to have one of those moments again, the kind that makes it all worth it. and to remember that. nothing lasts forever.

[questionablepastries]

large vent

tw: suicidal ideation

I need to type this out for my own sanity. But also the entire purpose is on the off chance that someone reads this and, in some way, relates to what I'm experiencing. Not the entirety of it, but a part of it, would be enough for me to justify sharing my experiences. Normally, I would have written this out in a diary but something tells me that by sharing it and letting people they are not alone would be more beneficial than keeping this to myself. To preface everything, these are first world problems. All of this spiraling - ok first off my behavior towards what is really the most minor of all triggers is annoyingly blown over. All that happened was that someone i thought i could have befriended more given time and more chats- just one day decided i wasnt worth being (and i hate typing this) mutuals with.

What made me laugh was the idea of describing my lil hissy fit emotional tantrum to my boomer absolutely not online coworkers and they would all most likely laugh about it. But the more i thought about losing this mutual, the question i kept going back to was why? why was i blowing this out of proportion? what even caused this big of a reaction in me? well first off, i was really riding on the hope to get to know them better. i really wanted to be friends with them. the great thing about online friendships is that it eliminates any barriers that would be present if someone tried to make friends with you in person. you dont worry about smelling bad, looking weird, stuttering, bad posture, etc. so truly i was thinking if our interests aligned enough and we cracked some jokes we had something, that could blossom into something cool. instead it didnt and they just dropped me entirely out of nowhere, and me being my silly self thinks somehow its my fault.

honestly though im sure they were going through something - like they would constantly post about wanting ppl to unfollow them and me going oh that cant be about me surely, nah it was most definitely about me. i cant nail down what it was though, did i not reach out enough? did i joke too much? was i too little was i too much. unfortunately, with the lack of a physical barrier im taking this as a personal fault that I Really messed something up. Something about me as a person is inherently undesirable and therefore not worth putting in the time or effort to talk to -- there must have been something off about me for this to have played out the way it did, right? I keep running scenarios in my head like oh what if i reached out more, or what if i responded in a different way that one time -- as if it can change the outcome of what has happened but. all of this. all of this emotional self inflicting stupid reaction im having stems from my own struggles in real life to make friends. this has been a running trend all my 28 years (yeah 28!) and.. to bring myself back to reality and to keep my emotions from spilling over. I came up with a good strategy.

I always ground myself by saying to myself in a silly voice as if one would calm down a pet "are you punishing yourself for having become the person you are today due to your shitty environment/upbringing that you had no control over" and "are you punishing yourself for factors out of your control Again? eye roll come on now" and thats literally how ive been grounding myself this entire time whenever i get really uncomfortable with how i am as a person in real life. and yeah honestly my upbringing sucks ass it sucks soooo much. i have no extended family and it has never been more obvious since i became conscious as a toddler to this day that my extended family on both sides absolutely does not give a shit about me nor my immediate family. my immediate family being my mom and my sister. my mom and my sister are my ONLY family. side note and i mean this semi-jokingly: if you have a family fuck you. when my coworkers talk about their uncles or their aunts or their grandparents or how they were raised by their grandparents or how they hung out with their cousins and how they went on vacations, or how they spent time with their dad. i feel this massive vacancy in my heart that is a placeholder of what i want so desperately to have happened. i feel like those scenarios they describe to me are just not possible, families only exist on tv shows, and christmas specials, thats not a real thing. it has never been a reality for me. unrelatable. all of it. and as a first generation child from immigrants (lets not even get into my dad we havent spoken to him in over a decade) my only memories are of food stamps, being smelly in school because my mom could literally not afford the time to take care of me or afford a baby sitter, my stuttering, my inability to join extracurricular activities due to money, all of it added up to my ostracization throughout the entirety of my school years.

& as a child on welfare it was very much drilled into me that the only escape from poverty is through education and i took that very seriously. im a fucking scientist now i passed the national exam to get where i am. where i failed socially didnt matter to me back then as long as i had good grades, grades were All that mattered to me. and i succeeded. but not without some draw backs. ive always been an awkward person. i have a couple of friends few and far between in person. its literally three people that i keep in contact with in real life and i am extremely grateful that they reach out to me but its also like. i gotta do better lol one of them forgot my birthday this year and the other one only texted me 'birth' on my birthday, the last one he's a keeper - we're basically brothers and he always checks in on me, but he doesnt live in the same state as me. so all of that is to say. When this person broke mutuals it kind of made me, or rather for my own sanity, seriously re-evaluate my relationship with how i spend my free time, and who and what exactly am i placing value in. this person absolutely does not care about me and i dont expect them to. and given what little we had in terms of an online friendship i guess i let my hope of a cool friendship with them blind me to the reality of what we actually had. time and time again i have placed more hope and love into online individuals that do not reciprocate - and usually they just drop the ball on me. which is like ok. im sure i was either too little or too much i can never accurately gauge how intense i am due to, you know, Lack of Real Life Experience. oh right the suicide thing, so like for the longest time i struggled with suicidal idealization - it only stopped until i graduated about two years ago. In my pre-teens to late teens i told myself that if i was in the same scenario where my mom and my sister are my only family but we were well off i would definitely have killed myself.

I decided as a pre-teen that my only worth was how high i could get into my academics in order to lift my mom out of poverty. that was the Singular Only driving factor that kept me alive. kinda. damn that sucks to write out lol but its true! that was my mantra back then and i would repeat it anytime something shitty happened to me or someone was mean to me. im not sure where im going with this. i just wanted to get it out there, that i was and still am very lonely in person, and whats funny is that im not even like ugly im just average, i hung out with my sister and dolled myself up a bit for my birthday and we went to the mall and three guys hit on me unprompted so its definitely not a looks thing - SPEAKING OF when i got into uni and moved into an apartment with four roomates i was like this is my YEAR, im gonna go out SO MUCH im gonna walk around campus im gonna go out late and do school clubs!! and then covid happened. the apartment lease was worthless. i stayed indoors exactly the same amount as i always did only this time it was justified, but it sucked because that was the time i had decided i was going to break my cycle of staying inside holy shit that fucking sucked. and then my senior year of college i didnt need to stay in an apartment anymore because i was required to be in a hospital four days out of the week for training so i ended up back at my moms. i think there is something wrong w me tho bc im not saying it was being poor that led to me being awkward. but it didnt help, and im gonna go ahead and blame my lack of a support group - family wise, my entire life, on how uh. i came out. lately im trying to reel back how blunt i am. which. uh. hmm. i actually have a large language barrier with my mom. somehow i picked up on understanding spanish but not speaking it perfectly, it improved, im way better at speaking it now.

but i could hardly communicate with my mom while growing up, and she never expressed interests in my hobbies or who i was as a person, to this day i am and will forever be a 7 year old toddler in her eyes. she still shows no interest in me as a person or who i am. which is fine with me, ive accepted that she wont change, because she grew up in a more messed up environment and this entire time only until Recently, she had been on breadwinner providing for my two daughters survival mode. um. so , like i mentioned. that person breaking mutuals just shone a light on how, broken i am as a person? you would think, without physical barriers the sky is the limit when it comes to befriending people but no i still struggle i cant do anything right i suppose. i just need to focus on improving my life outside of online spaces. people online will reach out of they want to and can so im trying to lessen my hopes in general. and um. idk im at a loss for words currently. i simply dont know where to begin when it comes to , anything? living? hmm. i only just escaped school so i feel like i can breath - air for once. im no longer under the scary pressure of - if i fail at school im better off dead- ohh i think i know what i can add - offline people are WEIRD. ive had a couple of hiccups with friends irl that i literally dont talk to anymore! one of them became a misogynist red pill guy, another guy kept trying to touch me every time we hung out! and the last guy kept telling me to fuck off when i asked how he was doing!! hmmm. yeah this is just circling back to my current mantra which is to not be overly mean to myself for how i am currently due to my , situations leading up to now. I DONT KNOW. here's hoping..!! something !! anything is nice to me!! ohhhh i remembered something else. recently my coworker exchanged numbers w me saying something about haning out with other coworkers in the future. i am so desperately trying not to get my hopes too high up. always happens tho!!!!!!!! i get my hopes up when it comes to making friends both offline and online!!!!!! and guess what keeps happening again and again!!! HAHA………..can i have hope this time??? do u know once i tried reaching out to a mutual i wanted to befriend and get closer to (we were calling each other friends by this point) on Three Separate Platforms i knew they were active on only for them to Not respond to Anything i sent? AND i didnt even reach out three times in a row I Spaced It Out like a Normal Person. Only for Them to Tell me how they were having Fun in Their Friend Group of Other Online People talking about our Mutual Interests. Do you know how fucking stupid i felt at that moment. Oh im sorry am i not cool enough to be invited to that. Am i too stupid what is it about me thats so repellent??

I know its common courtesy to not be straight to people and tell them whats wrong with them but damn i wish someone would be straight with me and Not leave me hanging UGH. I realized at that moment tho that I never wanted to BE that desperate EVER AGAIN. I felt like such a stupid asshole holy shit. I never want to be that desperate for some onlines person attention ever again oh my god,, i dont think ill ever forgive them for that. its all on me though!!!!!!!!! mY FAULT!!!!!!!, for placing Value and i guess getting my Hopes up that i could make friends again WHOOPSIES i forgot im fuckin uhhh Ultra stinko Stupid Bitch who cant maintain any sort of relationship!!! back to the ditch on the side of the road i go to drink my stupid pond water like the unlovable unwarranted piece of shit nobody wants to hang out with again!!!!!!!! MY BAD!!!!!!! SO SORRY TO BOTHER. well its whatever i got money now, i have a job. and as much as i would like to say well earning money is all that matters right? its not. im a greedy greedy jealous little sniveling BITCH and my heart will never stop yearning for what others take for Granted. SO YEAH LOL. this has felt great to type out!! if you relate to any of that...um... Im sorry!!!!! we all in this together. but maybe not really im just gonna be kept at arms length with literally anyone i try to befriend offline due to me bein a little weirdo who cant relate to anything haaa,,, i want to end this on a positive note but fuck that! This is where im currently at and this is my current predicament! Will it improve? sure if i put some effort into myself and spend less time online and stop putting rakes on the ground to step on. i literally set myself up for getting hurt everytime ill figure out a way to make the pain hurt less.

[mejomonster]

My gastroparesis driving me up a wall. And by that i mean ive been barely eating for over a week now and my symptoms still arent improving and im really not havin a great time im exhausted my bodys in pain trying to get me to Rest but i gotta work full time and my abdomen absolutely hurts but painkillers slow digestion even More so ive been laying down on heatpad as much as possible and i really dont wanna go back to an All Liquid diet (but even if i did im at the nausea and vomiting point of a gastroparesis flare which means even liquid only im likely to throw up either way) and like. I just wanna comfort eat bread cause i feel miserable exhausted in pain and it would be a small joy. But bread is absolutely not something i can eat during a flare. I can only eat it when doing good if i take benedryl. Im so angry and tired and id like to sleep for days. And i gotta still Make myself eat chips and protein shakes even tho i got nausea cause my gi meds dont work unless i eat Something. Even if i got nausea and tons of pain wooh

Anyway im getting flack from family for being so tired the last week and i love em and all but its awful feeling guilty for not calling Enough when its like goddamn eating (something humans gotta do at least once a day) hurts phenomenally and i barely can but i obviously desire to like any human then i eat and Ouch my body didnt fucking like that and punished me for it and im so mad. I feel awful and yeah im mad i dont got energy to hide how much pain im in and chat false enthusiastically for 20 minutes after already doing it all thru work. I had 1 teaspoon of peanut butter today and my remaining options are soup broth (but it had beans cooked in it and my body cant take fiber today so idk if its worth the risk of any accidental beans) and salad (which is of course raw vegetables fiber very hard on stomach rn so i can probably just eat a handful size portion and hopefully ill chew enough its mush and my body will tolerate it). And a protein shake (but its got fiber and is made of chickpeas i think for the protein so idk if my body is tolerating it or not im just drinking it so i dont have no calories). I had chips yesterday but i think my body considered it too solid or large to digest idk cause im eveb worse today. I also had toast yesterday cause i was so angry and hungry and wanted comfort food. So of course that messed me up. Which means i should take more benedryl. But then i wont just be hungry and pain tired, ill also be drug tired. And im so sick of being miserablr all day at work just to pass out the second its over cause allergy meds knocked me out then ive lost all day. But without allergy meds i can eat hardly anything i like. I mean i cant eat rn but like. Right before this fuckjng flare and hopefully once its over. Im just sick of it. Im tired and when i go to therapy next week shell probs ask oh what do you do to stress relief and its like... i get it but are u fucking kidding me. Im knocked unconcious from benedryl. And tired anyway cayse no food, and pain nonstop from gi tract. So im barely doing anything. I cant really get outta bed cause i need the 4 sq feet heatpad or ill be in agony over my abdomen. Dont have tv in room so i can use phone i guess. So tired i can barely keep eyes open or think so im not writing reading or watching shows on phone. I can idk listen to a reaction or lets play since if i fall asleep and wake up i dont need to follow a plot. But like im not in a state to be going for a fucking walk (i wish! I wanna dance and walk but my abdomen and back feel awful and im so tired im dizzy when i stand) or hang out w friend, which im sure idk shed prefer to hear some productive ass activity like god im just trying to keep myself employed and out of the ER until the flare rights itself. Please

And i know jts not that bad. Ive been worse. I couldnt eat solid food for 6 months once. I was in the ER weekly it was so bad i blocked most of it outta memory. This is only a couple weeks. And i havent thrown up much! I was throwing up 5 times daily back then. And i have had chips and peanut butter! I recognizr thats nice, i got some solid food and held it down! I know my gastroparesis is EONS LESS severe than it was when it started.

Its just like. It still sucks barely eating for weeks and any eating hurting immensely and nonstop nausea for days and pain not lowering. Like a normal healthy person might snap from anger if they try to go 20 hours without eating, or crash and need to eat to keep going, or just be run down as fuck and justifiable if they barely do anything that day. But i go days like that and im expected to just appear fine and live life normally like im not worn down af and just desperate to not feel nausea and pain and i just really wanna eat again. Normally.

[spadeinasuit]

IM MAKING DESIGNS I PROMISE I JUST NEED TO GET IT OUT SO I DONT FORGET AGAIN.

ok so. In my slenderverse. Slender and Offender are siblings. And Splendor and Marion (my oc) are half siblings and kids of Offender

More under the cut

Slender is a guy from the 1930's called Anthony. Anthony had a pregnant wife. A younger brother. And a best friend, Tim. He was a well known Tailor in his area, so he still had people coming in for clothed during the depression cause he made shit for cheap.

Now his wife gets sick. Like deathly sick. And he knows that she's probably not going to make it so he goes out into the street and starts begging God or something go save his family and keep them safe

Something In the crossroad appears. It looks like an angel but the streetlight is impeding its view it promises he will. But Anthony only gets home in time for his wife to pass.

Angry he goes outside and screams at the angel or got that cursed him. The creature returns and punishes him for his "entitled attitude" he soon after gets his face shot off by tim (great grandfather of masky Tim) dying for the first timr

So the way the slenders work is with every death they look less and less human slowly gaining their individual powers. slendermans power is control. He can influence actions. Without control the other slender "interfeirence" (presents itself in slender sickness) every one around them will loose their minds and die.

He also gained a hunger. Souls of the recently deceased usually satisfys it. So he uses those who are "monsters" like him to do the dirty work for him. He's just a Tailor. He can't fight.

Offender(Adam) is literally only worth a paragraph for plot shit. He died in a rose bush and that's why he's rose themed. He is the father of Splendor and Marion. He is not good to them. No one likes him and no one should. He has the power to lure people and persuade. Different than Slender cause it doesn't help slender sickness

Splendor (Jake) was born in the 1950's and raised by a single mother unknowing he was a slender. Looking human until about the 1970's In the acrobatics show he fell. His tentacles are ribbons with bells at the ends.

He tries to stay away from Slender and all his family. Using his power to blend in to continue being an acrobat. He is extremely skinny and will only feed on criminals.

Lastly my oc. I will make a full post on them soon.

Marion(morgan) was born in 1999 and died in 2005 being left in oil and the position of their injuries left them to have horns and black inky tentecles. Their power is to literally see. Everything.

Eventually they get sick of all the harm caused by slender and finds a way to actually kill him. Transferring his power to themself they slowly get more power hungry seeking the powers from the other slenders and the creature that caused them in the process. Killing them all and ending Slenders completely in 2056.

[errorid-mt7lt7k7unfr9ttfua5]

i find it really annoying (and honestly, ableist) that options to make video games harder are seen as good, wheras options to make video games easier are looked down upon. this obsession with being a "pro-gamer" and only playing the most difficult games and looking down on games that are traditionally considered "easy" or "trivial".

some people (like me) enjoy games that are challenging. Thats whats fun for us, but a lot of people that only enjoy difficult games very much have the opinion that games that *Arent* difficult arent worth playing, or worse, that youre not a "real gamer".

there is a lot of joy in being really good at something that is difficult, but that isnt the only reason to play a video game. imagine saying that the only point of making art was to show off how Technically Skilled you were at it (oh wait, people Do say that ):

sometimes, people do things because it makes them happy. often, a game is great because of its story, art, music, characters, or message.

actually, im going to derail a bit, but it does defend my thesis so bear with me.

i think Undertale is a prime example of this phenomenon, as it has various "gamemodes" based on which ending you want to get, and each of these three gamemodes have, for the most part, very different gameplay. and guess which one is the "hardest"?

Genocide

now, if youre fairly familiar with Undertale, youll know that the game absolutely punishes the player for trying to do a genocide run. Though i have never done a genocide run and in all likelihood never will, i am familiar with it: the two actual bossfights that exist in the run are significantly more difficult than anything in the neutral or pacifist routes, and the rest of the gameplay is endless grinding for EXP. In addition, effectively every single fight apart from the two aforementioned bosses ends the very moment it begins: you run around aimlessly in the area youre in at the moment and wait ages to encounter a monster, and once you find one, theyre dead usually no more than three button presses later. it isnt fun, its just difficult, and the venn diagram of people who are elitist about game difficulty and those who have played the genocide route in undertale is probably mostly a vesica pisces.

youre allowed to like games that are difficult, but dont get mad when other people just want to have fun

[diejager]

Ok so i had this random thought about your yan!diluc. How would he react if someome close to him says something bad to his S/O?

Lats say, for example, Jean ?

Disclaimer: i love jean, dont hate her at all, im simply curious because its very obvious they respect eachother

Anyways, what would happen of jean makes diluc lover cry/feel bad? Would Diluc let it slide? Would he ruin jean? Ive been thinking about this for quite some time now not gonna lie

Also i just want to say i love your fics<333

I had a spur-of-the-moment idea, so I wrote this pretty quickly.

Also, you're really sweet <333

No hate for Jean though, she's my main healer, other than Barbara and Qiqi. So I like her a lot, but it was fun writing this!

I mourneth not f'r thee! pt1

Yandere Diluc

Tw: yandere behavior, jelaousy, verbal abuse/attack, mention of punishment but no punishment.

Note: not proofread.

Wc: 1.5k

"You're not fit to become a knight, (Name)," her voice is steady and strong.

Clad in beauty and regalness, her blond curls and straight face adorned her majestic, blue eyes. Back straightened and voice steadily warm, Jean stared you down with cold, unfeeling eyes. For a woman full of purity and dignity, she shallowly declined your employment. Out of spite or out of jealousy, you couldn't tell nor could you see it. Oblivious to the cruelty of this world's citizens. That was why you decided to go against the love of your life and aim high, aim to become the thing Diluc hated: a knight of Favonius.

To help those in need without any favours returned, that's what you dreamed of, and becoming a knight was just a stepping stone. However, not being accepted by the acting grandmaster of all knights put a stop to your plans.

"Can I know why I'm unfit, Jean?" your voice wavered slightly, trying to understand where you went wrong to fix it.

Her glare was as sharp as her words, explaining all that was rightfully wrong, small and insignificant mistakes you made to prove you wrong. Her actions are vain and resentful - she knew that, but how could she not when you had all she wished for. Lisa would probably reprimand her for being so spiteful towards you, for being ruthless to a pure and innocent heart and for the tearful face she caused from all the words she spewed. The harmful and distasteful insults that she spat out with a dignified and proper tone, made her reasoning even more painful to hear. She knew you since your childhood, acquaintances through Diluc's family. She loved him and cared for him as much as you did; she was as pure as you were before your honeymoon, and she still was; she was dubbed the prettiest leading figure in Mondstadt; she was responsible and independent; and much, much more. So why? Why were you worth so much more to Diluc than she was? Was it how truly pure you looked and acted? Or maybe it was how your heart was so gentle that she just knew you would protect her from Diluc's harsh insults if he ever knew what she did to you. It could be either of those, or it could be that you had this great generosity in your soul and being that matched Diluc's fiery personality with your docile nature and caring smile. Who was she kidding, you had everything she wanted.

That's why when you came to her for help, she indulged you until the last moment when she would drop you from the high ledge she led you to; disappointing you after all the efforts you made in making connections, friends and helping gestures. Jean knew how much that would break your heart like you shattered her dreams of being with Diluc, marrying him and building a family with the man she loved.

That's why she felt no shame in her words and actions. How it became a spur of the moment driven by hate and envy, sins that corrupted her heart and rooted deep within to birth a demon of her own.

"I will not accept your candidacy, (Name). You'll have to leave disappointed in yourself and us, Knights of Favonius." Jean sat back down on her throne-like chair, looking like a king in all matters of royalty. "You can leave, now."

How cruel and brutal. She watched you leave with tear-stained cheeks, eyes puffy and red as the apples on your wet cheeks. Your fists clenched, nails piercing through the skin as you bowed politely to the acting grand master of the knights - a curious gesture even after the verbal beatdown from the leading figure.

A silent plea for help, a shoulder to cry on. That's what you needed right now. One from your husband.

With knights asking about your wellbeing to others wanting to know what happened, you brushed them off in your trail to find Diluc. Past the gates and through the streets of Mondstadt city, pushing away the worried citizens that you've helped in the past with their problems and weird requests. Mind blank and feet moving by muscle memory, you eventually arrived at Diluc's beloved tavern.

Through blurry eyes, you caught sight of Diluc's bright, fiery locks behind the counter, shaking a drink from a patron's order. He looked handsome in his area of expertise and with his hair pulled so high, unlike his usual low ponytail.

"Diluc..." your voice cracked as you called out to him, hand reaching out for him.

Orbs fleeting from his work at the familiar voice, he looked up to a scene he dreaded from the deepest parts of his heart: tears rolling down your face like waterfalls and lips puckered in a heartwrenching pout that made your brows furrow and eyes squint sorrowfully. He dropped whatever he was doing in favour of holding you in his arms. Snuggled comfortably and warmly against his chest to ward off all your pains and sorrows.

"(Name), it's alright, I'm here," he shushed you, one hand on your back and the other holding your head to his neck.

Some sober patrons inquired about your safety, but none tried to pry too deeply, this was a lover's moment. Deeming it too public to have you bawl your eyes out and howl in pain, he looked back at Charles, the second bartender :

"I'm leaving the tavern to you, we're going to the back a bit."

"Yes, Master Diluc."

Without another word uttered from the employer, he pulled you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and arms around his neck, he carried you to the storage at the back of the tavern for some much-needed privacy.

Seated on a crate with you in his lap, Diluc wiped your tears away, thumb gently massaging the skin around your puffy eyes. He wore a frown, one deeper and more concerned than his usual stoic mien.

Why wouldn't he when his darling was in tears from something he knew not?

"Darling, breathe slowly, in and out," he instructed, tone laced with worry.

Gripping his white shirt, you did as told, trying to regulate your breathing from its erratic and crying one.

"That's it, you're doing it. Take it slow, (Name)," his deep voice drowned your fears away, it calmed you down. "Good, that's it. Good work, darling."

His warm hand was rubbing your knuckles, it was soothing. His other one was helping him kiss your pearly tears away, softly and gracefully.

"Now, would you tell me what happened? Did something happen when you went to report to Jean?" he seethed at the name he uttered but tried to keep it down for your sake.

His words were soft-spoken and caring, unlike Jean's venom-laced spits.

You shook your head, not wanting to cause Jean any more problems than she already had. Your poor heart wouldn't be able to live with itself if it knew you caused more work for the sleep-deprived and workaholic knight. Although sweet, Diluc felt the opposite, he couldn't let this go without any punishment, even if he has to lie to you.

"Darling, be honest, did Jean do something to make you cry this much?" he tried again, wanting to hear an affirmation from your lips, one that would truly give him a reason to punish the blonde that hurt you.

"J-Jean didn't d-do an-any-thing," your words were mixed with hiccups and soft whimpers. "I-I just realized ho-how my cand-candidacy had so ma-ny issues w-with it."

"Is that so?" he hadn't voiced his suspicion, tone pensive and caringly warm. "What were the issues?"

"I-I- was missing s-some stuff, didn't f-feel like I helped e-enou-gh people-"

More tears leaked from your eyes, staining Diluc's clean gloves with salty water. More shushed left his thin lips that kissed your lashes and nose.

"You've helped more than all those useless knights combined, (Name). Stop doubting yourself, you've done far more than what an apprentice knight, more than a knight, would usually do in their whole lifetime. In all honesty, they don't even deserve having you in their ranks."

Diluc placed more kisses on your face and fleetingly touched your lips with his before touching the rest. He was soft and handled you with care as if you were made of fragile porcelain and glass.

"It would be better if you worked here, with me. I always feel better with you by my side, (Name). Wouldn't that sound perfect? Husband and wife, working together outside of their home. Doesn't it sound romantic?"

He knew you were a hopeless romantic and that such an offer would fluster your sweet, sweet heart. Words played well, and opinions swayed, you felt no need to decline such a proposition from Diluc. It reminded you of his proposal, poetic and blunt in its own right, but romantic all the same.

With you in his clutches 24/7, all he needed to do was find that wretched woman from the knights and discuss about her unbecoming actions.

Previous / Next

[bygiornogiovanna]

Hii!! hope you are having a great day! :) I recently been dragged into a yandere rabbit hole and I’ve been meaning to share this idea with someone, what if darling is aware of the yandere concept? like daring knows the yandere loves out of selfish desires and maybe they don’t understand yandere’s aggresive side and straight up confronts Giorno about it?

and im curious how he would react. Im thinking he would rub it off saying that it is not true or he would think abt this long enough but still choosing to avoid the topic, can we have some headcanons about this? Thank you :>

What exactly are yanderes?

After being kidnapped, a question always wandered into your mind. You never understood why he was so aggressive. Screaming if you looked at other men, threatening, he went as far as leaving a man unconscious only because he asked for your number. So, when you confront him, how will he react?

Featuring; Giorno Giovanna

GN reader, except from the use of 'gattina' (idk italian so idk if it's femine or masculine xd)

A/N: Finally, a yandere request. Ngl, I was really thinking about what I could write with Yandere themes and this gave me the perfect idea. So, I might prepare one or two one-shots with our favorite yanderes~. Anyways, thank you for your request, have a nice day and enjoy! <3

You have always known what yanderes are and how they act and, in fact, it always seemed pretty interesting. Weird, but interesting. You didn't expect it to happen to you

But it did. And the truth is, it is a weird experience, with many failed attempts of escaping, punishments, gifts and other weird stuff. It's like everything that was happening was pulled straight out of a book. Somehow, with Giorno, you experienced them all;

Ah yes, Giorno Giovanna. The blonde mafia boss who had taken a like in you. You couldn't say you hated Giorno, he wasn't that bad. If you followed his rules, which were simple, showed him affection and didn't try to escape, eveything was fine. You were getting what you wanted, the moment you wanted it and you were basically spoiled in gifts and affection;

Well, that was when he was calm. And he was pretty easy to piss off when it came to you. Didn't give him his kiss the moment he entered the house? Punishment. Didn't like his gift? Punishment. Didn't thank him immediately for his gift? You guessed it, punishment. Oh, and don't get me started if you ever looked at other person. At home, he will throw a tantrum, claiming you were cheating on him, even if that was impossible since you never left his mansion;

So, after some time, you decided that you had to ask him why was he acting like that. You weren't sure if he would answer you, but it's worth the shot. What could possibly go wrong?

Said and done, you were now heading to Giorno's office, the place he was spending 60% of his time, when he was home, of course. Knocking softly, knowing he hates people who enter without doing so, you wait. "Enter" he said and the sound of papers being moved around could be heard. You walked into the room, closing the door behind you, a smile plastered on your face;

"What is it, gattina?" Giorno's face held a small smile at the sight of you, but his eyes seemed tired. "Have you been working all day again?" you asked, a hint of worry in your voice. You couldn't help but worry about him, after all, he was stll a human. One that was crazy over you, but still a human. He hummed and pushed his chair back, opening his arms; his way of telling you he wants a hug.

You complied and went into his lap, burying yourself in his arms. "You know, I always had this question..." you started and Giorno raised a brow as he waited for you to continue. "Why are you so aggressive? Like, I know that's what yanderes are usually like this, but why?" you asked and he just stared at you dumbfounded;

Yandere? So you knew about this topic? It was the first time that someone left Giorno this dumbfounded. "I don't think I get what you're saying, amore. You've never actually seen me being...aggressive" he tried to play it cool, not wanting to go into detail about why he was the way he was;

"Giorno...You left a man unconscious because he asked for my number. I'm not judging you, I'm just curious! Are there other types of yanderes? Also, why are you feeling the need to be-" "Enough." he stopped you, raising a hand. "You are talking nonsense. I don't know where you heard all of those things, but I want you to stop." Giorno said, clearly annoyed by your insistence;

That's how it went every single time you tried to ask him about that. He mostly told you to shut up, ignored you or avoided the subject. You had a feeling that, if you kept going you were either going to make him talk or get yourself a punishment;

"Come on, Giornooo. I want to know" you whined again, clinging onto his arm while he was cooking. He let out an annoyed scoff and ignored you while preparing the ingredients. The man loved your attention but he hated the fact that you asked him that stupid question. It's been a week, why were you still insisting? Sighing, he stopped and wiped his hands, pushing you a little far away from his body. He took your face in his hands and gave you a peck.

"And I want you to shut up and just stay with me without making me lose the last bit of sanity that I still have. Now be my good pet and stop asking me that stupid question, okay?" Giorno said with a small smile and, by the look from his eyes, you knew this was your last warning.

A/N: Nah you can't tell me Giorno doesn't call his darling 'pet'. I hope you liked this. Reblogs are appreciated <3

[kaseyskat]

okay tumblr it is time im going nuts over this episode for so many reasons but the biggest one and the one that is actively killing me right now IS:

the parallels between the og trio and the calamity trio.

i'm going to touch on a lot but be warned this is just me rambling okay but there are. points i would like to make okay bear with me!

i think what i love about the og trio is that they all parallel the girls but at different points! probably the biggest example of this is how andrias throws barrel under the bus by association with leif- a parallel, i think, to sasha throwing marcy under the bus in true colors, locking her away with anne and the plantars despite marcy not Really being fully on one side or another. it's fun! fun to think about. the other direct true colors parallel here, of course, is how andrias goes after leif with his sword, aiming to maim, trying so hard to stop her from taking the box to another world- and unlike in true colors, here, he fails. he won't make that same mistake in the future :)))) there is also something to be said about how barrel, like marcy, seems to be the one more or less cast aside in favor of the other two in their dynamic; but we didn't really see enough to make a hard case for whether it's always like that. there's the idea of barrel being a soldier while leif is a gardener(sasha and marcy ideally, respectively), leif getting the vision just like sasha was the one who saw the mural, and so many others, it's SO FUN!!!

probably my favorite parallel, though, is the ones between leif and marcy, specifically in relations to the way they interact with andrias! finding ways to communicate to each other through code(with those glasses that andrias uses once again around marcy... isn't that so fun), leif's doodle mimicking the girls, that sort of thing. from what the episode highlighted, leif is a problem solver, a thinker, an inventor! her mannerisms just SCREAMED marcy to me, like it is no wonder she wormed her way into andrias's heart the way she did <3

other people have pointed this out, but even like... her begging for barrel to understand her decisions, that she's doing it for everyone. andrias going after her to stop her from going to earth with the box. that entire confrontation! was so good! and idk idk it just. it reminded me of marcy so bad.

the specific thing that has me desperately in my feels is just that. andrias gave marcy the room with a direct link to the basement... the gardens... it was leif's room. it was leif's room! and he was able to have FUN with marcy, they communicated in puzzles, they researched together, she helped him with lawmaking... for a moment, she WAS his leif, his best friend. no wonder he throws her confession in her face like that; it's a punishment he wanted to give to leif, a "look at what you've done" born of a thousand-year-long grudge, and i think he expects marcy to do what HE did when he himself was placed in that situation. "see, it's not so great on this side of things, is it? how do YOU feel being the one betrayed?"

except marcy doesn't do that. she chooses her friends. she continues to choose her friends, proving that she's better than andrias ever will be and once again showing that she's NOT andrias, she refuses to be him! and i think that's why he feels so much regret after giving her to the core. i bet it was real satisfying at first, seeing her hope get crushed and seeing where her loyalty to her friends lays... but that's what made her marcy, and he clearly is worried about her through the ep. now, i don't want a full andrias redemption he's done So Much Harm but. BUT. it's just. something about marcy "bad at making connections" wu being the one to get through to him. to remind him of just how much he loved his friends and how he misses them. that her genuine adoration of him was worth more than his father's conditional approval. i want to see it.

and this has been: kasey's post-ep ramblings! tune in next time for whatever the fuck happens in fight or flight </3

[sasster]

So i just finished going through hell between you and roe and that godforsaken pain piece, and I. I need to know more about Thanat. I went through your blog but you don’t have a select for him unless im blind and i just want to know. everything. namely, a bit of his backstory and also what was it like when he met ben and also what’s your favorite picture of him so i can simp respectfully-

Here's a little mock intro I wrote for him once

I don't really have any pages for my ancestors because silly me thought I'd never like actually rp these guys -- I'm a liar and I lied to myself. Uhm.

Thanat is the ancestor of Persep and Aelium (the only Lycaon on my select page). He was a member of the church for a while, but dropped out of it shortly after he lost his faith in the mirthful ones. Which may or may not have something to do with a certain other well known clown literally killing three of it's priests, probably in front of him. That was never explored in canon, but I like to think that it's true.

He always had a sentimentality for the dead. In fact! He got into the business of it when he was seven sweeps old. Though he didn't worship anymore, he did continue caring for the dead of the Church so that they wouldn't bother him for not being devout.

Lets see.

Blah blah blah, you guys know all about Orfuse and his fucked up moirail, won't get into it a lot.

Because of his rapport with the dead, many Gods of Death were like "Hey, hello, hi Mr. Lycaon" twirls hair. "How would you like to serve me?" bats eyes. He was like uhm, no thanks that's kind of scary. (I don't want to)

Until. . .Orfuses passing, stricken with regret and grief, he was offered a deal he quite literally could not refuse

Which is what turned him into the Reaper we know today! He tends to the dead in more than just a physical sense (He helps usher them over to the other side!) He takes great care to honor last requests and unfinished business within reason. The last requests isn't his obligation to the universe, he's just like.. A really nice guy and does it on his own.

Because they are tethered to the universe Reapers are not allowed to hurt mortals. If they try it! They'll accrue the same damage that they inflict! Even if it's warranted. The damage isn't really permanent, but it will take for them the same amount of time that it would take the mortal that they hurt to heal. (Now if like say a moral hurt them for whatever reason, it would heal rather quickly. Because the former is a punishment for breaking the rules)

NOW if they try to kill the mortal, the mortal wakes up the next day like nothing happened and the reaper will get a nice permanent scar as a souvenir.

Anyway.

Only very few people know about the being an immortal agent of the universe bit, though.

Thanat is pretty well-known because of his willingness to provide service for any troll, be it burial, cremation, some other third fourth fifth thing.

It's also worth noting, only because it really didn't get brought up at all ever, but all of the trolls that he knew in his youth are also very sentimental toward the dead. Yes, including that one.

I reblogged his fullbody ref wip earlier... And here is the drabble from the first time that Thanat met Benjin, it didn't go well.

uhhh that's all i have off the top of my head