#and now i’m moving out
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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
#sirius black#i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly#i just#was reading a fic#where it recounted walburga ad kreacher’s screams and taunts#and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like#even if it’s an inanimate object and a house elf#to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth#by the only remaining members of your family#and to have it be traced back to your family#to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban#and that everyone else knows it too now#to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up#no boundaries no limits#to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out#and move it around#to call your home names#i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with#is it really any wonder he was the way he was#hell. he was actually so much better than he should’ve been#lesser men would’ve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath#it’s so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes#and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him#or shows him any empathy#i’m actually amazed that even after all these years i’m able to find new tragedies in sirius life#HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#pen’s notes
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What do you mean I’m a bit late for Janus’ big day? Of course not, how could you say such a thing! I definitely didn’t forget all about it in my absence and only get reminded in the incorrect quotes video live chat; that’s not like me at all ;]
Anyways I decided to dress our sassy snake in some different outfits I think he’d like. He seems like the type to get all dolled up on his birthday and it goes with Thomas posting pics in outfits inspired by the sides on their appreciation days!
@thatsthat24
#sanders sides#janus sanders#ts janus#thomas sanders#sanders sides fanart#my hoard#I’ve returned!#the newest asides came out and I remembered how much I love it#so I’m hyperfixated again and I’ve not now peace since#it is nice to actually finish something again tho#I’ve been pretty busy working lately and now I’m starting to pack to move into my first apartment!#so not much time to really sit down and draw#and when I do have time I can’t get the motivation to actually draw anything#I want to get better about posting stuff on here#(even though it feels like I’m just dreaming into the void a lot)#even just silly little things or rough sketches I’ll never finish#I hope it’ll help me continue to draw and make things again#I forgot how nice it is#anyways if you’ve read this far thanks#have a cookie :] 🍪
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Bro, people on TikTok keep saying that they're “nostalgic for the old days of Welcome Home!” and that “Welcome Home was dead but it's coming back now!”
Like dude, Welcome Home has been here for a little less than a year, there's nothing to be nostalgic about, at least not YET.
Fucking hell man, I feel like a Boomer trying to talk to some Gen Alpha kids, they're all thinking that fandoms are suppose to be short-lived, jesus christ.
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I don’t blame them too much, since they are not quite used to fandoms naturally descending and are quick to panic that it’s “completely dead”
Specially since the fandom had such a huge flux of community, art and discussions happening everywhere all at once and for it to slowly die down- naturally people will move on to other things and opinions are bound to change while the younger more naive individuals will wonder what’s wrong and create general assumptions that are not entirely accurate
#I find it humorous if anything#People burn out from talking about something for so long- like shid I’m doing that now lmAO but I still love the fandom#I feel bad for those who had a rough time and left the fandom- I wish them the best of luck#welcome home#welcome home wally#wally darling#welcome home mob au#A process some still can’t understand- the feeling of others moving on
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Started playing Halo 3! Nobody told me about the flood stalkers. GIRL HELP.
#also the colors for the second drawing are killing me.#they’re way to dark on mobile and way too light on desktop. whyyyyyy#my art#halo#halo fanart#john 117#master chief#halo 3#halo flood#the first stalker encounter I had was so fucking scary. like actually.#I love spiders. but the way that thing moved was NOT RIGHT.#the atmosphere for that level is literally the best out of halo so far.#I’m insane now
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my mum keeps responding to my covid precautions with “i get it, you’re not ready yet”. like no i just don’t do them anymore. i don’t really need to eat at restaurants or go to crowded places or be in public without an n95. i can watch the movie at home. i can get take out. an n95 is just uncomfortable sometimes but doesn’t stop me from doing anything. i love not getting sick
#SOOOOOO glad i moved out#‘your sibling and i are going out to eat’ have fun! i actually have no desire to do that whatsoever#also both of them have brought covid home and I’ve clocked it every time#my mum’s was after a trip after i moved out where she didn’t wear a mask once (not even at the airport) and then spent the trip texting me#about how the rich food was giving her some stomach trouble and the jet lag was just hitting her so hard#clocked that asap. i think she gave it to everyone else too and then tested after someone else tested positive and got her positive#my sibling was when i was still at home though and they just came downstairs and sat next to me coughing and i have never moved so fast#consistently tested negative so I don’t think they gave it to me but they protested possibly having it until I made my mum test them#and lo and behold I was right! I got pcr tested by urgent care and was negative#i didn’t get the chance to be cautious from the beginning because I was a minor when covid started#but i’m now an adult and moved out and keep all my precautions and tbh I love it#i’m a college student and the only sickness I’ve ever dealt with was an ear infection from a piercing. that’s it#‘don’t you want to embrace your young adult years’ i have two cats and hobbies and love being at home im fine#I don’t want to party or go out or do much of that#coronavirus
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I’m not ok when I think about bobby literally breathing life back into Athena before collapsing himself and not breathing - man gave her his last breath
#has anyone worked out how many people Bobby has saved since we last saw the book??#it would be kinda insane if Athena was the 148th person#because the symbolism of the bobby who needed to save 148 people dying so a new free from that burden bobby could be born#that this is Bobbys rebirth - that he got to do for Athena what he couldn’t for Marcy and now he can move forward#the symbolism of them being able to build a house together free from the past is also so good#I’m unwell over it actually#911 spoilers#Bobby nash#Athena grant#911 abc#bathena
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Just a girl who wants to be her mother’s daughter in the ways that matter
#Such a tenacious go getter & the smartest woman ik#Has NEVER looked back at a man twice. Knows she’s beautiful & that attention is guaranteed. Never desperate for male validation ever#The best fashion sense ik. She’s the epitome of classic & vintage#Doesn’t gaf what others are doing / is always tunnel visioned on her own goals#A mega workaholic and like. Maybe I’d rather balance but still she’s still an overachiever#I feel im becoming more and more like her by the day but still I have some work to do#Need to be more focused & to stop entertaining little boys fr#I just want to move w the unshackling confidence & elegance she seems to emanate effortlessly#I swear that woman was born that way!!!! So unfair for the rest of us mortals#Why does no one talk about the psychological torture that comes w having a naturally gorgeous genius mother#I’m dying over here I just wanna be like her but im pushing that boulder up the hill all the time#Meanwhile she’s always just On#HOW#Just an eldest daughter having a crisis about her mother who is also#The eldest daughter out of her and her two brothers#I need to journal about this I need to meditate#How to manufacture the drive that your mother was simply endowed with at birth#Not even joking I just got off my internship and now im sitting on a swing under the late May sun having a crisis about this
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twice is too much
Milkvan and their ‘end of the season love confession’ pattern/coincidence does not hit.
We’ve literally already done this like what is going on. Why have y’all not learned yet. Love ain’t easy, but I don’t remember it being this repetitive.
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Stop it.
Why’s it not clicking, why’s it not sticking, why do you two keep having the same issues?
It’s a fact of life that love is not enough for a relationship to work. You need to understand each other, you need to respect each other’s feelings and interests. You should value and trust each other to a point where you don’t have to bother questioning if there’s love because it’s plain to see.
Your face suction and fluttering hearts do not and will not keep your relationship stable. Can you even say what you enjoy about your relationship? Do you even communicate?
“I love her and I can’t lose her again!”
She wasn’t even there for that one 😭 why was El the only one to look you in the eyes and say it? Mike dragged it all the way to the S4 finale just to say it while she was being choked out with her eyes closed.
“This is my last resort!” ass love confession please be serious.
Also…
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Glad you were able to recognize it here, bud, my condolences to future you.
(It’s also hard to get over how El looks right before she returns his feelings.
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I know it’s easy to say she was just building up courage, but her father died and she lost her powers all in the same day. I believe El was very emotionally vulnerable/susceptible here. She needs confirmation that she’s accepted and loved by someone (a problem that’s brought up again in S4). If you really pay attention to that scene, she moves to leave, fights with herself, stops, and makes a decision to turn back.
I don’t think it’s something she planned on bringing up were she not moving with the Byers and not going to see Mike in person for a while.
It’s the way she looks so conflicted before saying it. She even pulls a ‘grocery store Mike’ and tries to get him to bring it up before doing it herself (I think she even wanted him to say something before she started walking away). Something, I might add, Mike is incapable of doing without being served three Will Byers Pep Talk specials and a comforting hand on his back.)
#byler#anti-mileven#If it looks like they might pull this AGAIN in S5 for even a split second I’m out#twice and it still isn’t solved#same old tired storyline#we can move on now it’s clearly not working#I understand my distaste now#they’re boring#it’s giving stancy no shade#I’m a stoncy girl sorry#Jonathan has to be involved#El deserves better#Alexa play love is not enough by Ashe
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fanonwise i sometimes feel that we don’t treat barty crouch jr’s relationship to his father with the amount of nuance that it’s given in canon.
i see more evidence for their dynamic as one of a prodigal son‘s unexpected betrayal, rather than him being openly defiant from the beginning. barty jr disdains his father more than he fears him.
barty’s character is more about being Stifled than it is about being Penalized, if that makes sense. he is a docile thing on the outside. for a counterexample: sirius continuously rebelled against his parents and was punished for it, over and over. barty is more the case of a child dutifully abiding with something spiteful and ugly growing underneath his surface, larger each passing year.
barty’s revenge, and his anger, and his suffering, are all quiet things: the secret burying of a bone, the forced muteness of imperius. barty doesn’t react when he speaks about his father or sees him in disguise. he admits to never truly considering him a father, seeing more of himself in tom instead.
this is more compelling to me than casting him as a sirius-variant!! it’s a slow type of resentment— leading to torture and ending in revenge— and i like the idea of barty as someone in Waiting. he’s the deferential mirror of a man he doesn’t respect (but never truly, not inside). barty jr was a son raised to take the place of his father: obeying to the letter until he suddenly didn’t, and finally usurping him in the most violent way possible with patricide. his father wanted an heir to replace him and he created a perfect one, in the most tragically ironic way possible!! this will always be more interesting to me than a barty who is plainly defiant from the outset— it flattens him!!
#there’s textual evidence for all of this but i’m too lazy to pull quotes right now. BUT KNOW THEY ARE THERE AND I HAVE THEM IN MIND#this applies to modern/noncanon aus too. barty was the perfect son who dramatically blew his life up & randomly moved out at 17#& showed up covered in tattoos and piercings & half the people who knew him can’t believe it. reg isn’t surprised in the least though#barty meta tag#saints speaks 🐇
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Okay I’m going to talk about cutting off Crosshair’s hand because while I know plenty of people see a lot of symbolism in it and think it was a good decision I have things to say about it.
I have CPTSD which has a lot of different symptoms. One of them is trembling or shaking. There’s a lot of complexities tied up in it but I’m not going to go into more detail because it’s not a fun thing to talk about.
What I liked about Crosshair’s trauma was that it impacted him not only mentally and emotionally but also physically. It’s very representative of what it’s actually like dealing with symptoms from something like PTSD and CPTSD (there are differences between these two that I won’t go into rn). I loved that we got to see a physical symptom of something psychological. It’s so rare that it’s handled well. Because yeah meditation and safety will help, certainly, but oftentimes it’s not the end all be all. I’m safe. I’m protected. I take care of my mental well being. But I still have symptoms that say the opposite. Because it’s not as simple as ‘no longer in the bad situation therefore the symptoms will stop’. I’ve made my peace that it’s lifelong and, honestly, Crosshair’s symptoms would be lifelong as well.
Cutting off his hand…
Here’s the thing.
The show really makes it seem like cutting off his hand is something he needed to move forward. He needed to be rid of the symptom because it was a physical reminder and it was holding him back from moving on. Cutting off the hand means no more shaking which means he’s healed. No more shaking hand=no more trauma. He can finally move on with his life.
And to that I say ouch.
There’s been plenty of times my symptoms are inconvenient to myself or others. Times when I wish I could just make it stop. Times when I’m terrified that it’s holding me back and I’m screwed up and that’s all I’ll ever be: broken. There are plenty of times I know people wish i could just knock it off and get over it and cut it out but that’s not how it works. Like I said. I’ve made peace with this thing that’ll be with me forever.
It was refreshing to see him try to adapt to dealing with it instead of ignoring it or trying to get rid of the part of him that was hurting. I loved that. It was such a freeing thing to see. Someone who will live with the hurt and the symptoms and it doesn’t make him any less. It just makes him have to do life a little different.
I hate that they cut off his hand. I hate that it wasn’t handled with any sort of nuance or delicacy. And I hate that this thing that made me so proud of him, so proud to share something with him, just got cut off for… what? Shock? To ‘fix’ him?
If we had gotten more time with the loss of his hand maybe I’d feel differently. Hell, I’d love to see how Crosshair adapts to losing his hand, see how he learns to accommodate. It would give him and Echo something to bond over and talk about, finding healing with each other. I think this could’ve been done well. I’d still be on the fence about it but I would’ve held my breath and saw how it played out.
I fully expect people to roll their eyes at me here. I expect that people will say that I just don’t get it or that this isn’t what they intended. I’m sure this isn’t what they intended. At least I hope it isn’t. But what they intended doesn’t change how insensitively this was handled after a whole season of him unpacking his hurt and trying to learn to adapt to it. No one reacted to it, not even Crosshair, and we got no unpacking of what happened. I’m not happy with this but it is what it is I guess.
#space chatter#the bad batch#tbb crosshair#tbb spoilers#tbb season 3#idk what to say other than ouch#feel free to disagree#this is just how I’m feeling rn#maybe I’ll write something nuanced in fic form about this one day#and I’ll feel better#but for now I’m getting my week of sadness out of the way#before I move on to continue writing and ignoring the parts of canon I don’t like#it just stings is all#tw ptsd#tw cptsd
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Slightly blurry mirror pic to celebrate my new home <3
Please help me get my top surgery fund moving!
#now that i’m out of florida i can actually do it!!! my posts r getting more & more popular but the gfm hasn’t moved recently#thank you to all who have contributed ❤️❤️#trans butch#t4t nsft#bd/sm community#t4t ns/fw#queer nsft#trans ns/fw#transfag#trans boy#tboy nsft#t4t pup#t4t puppy#t4t yearning#bd/sm kink#bd/sm boy#bd/sm blog#bd/sm brat#soft and curvy#transman nsft#ftm ns/fw#trans nsft
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like five commissions would solve so many of my problems right now …. 🌀you want to commission me🌀…. 🌀you want to look at my pinned post and you want to commission me sooooo bad🌀…….
a few recent commissions ⬇️
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been loving leaning into more illustration/poster work and would love to do more!!
#i’m like out of options LOL#like everyone else i’ve been applying to probably hundreds of jobs and like everyone else i can’t get SHIT#my options are 1) stay out here and suffer 2) beg my parents to help me move home and REALLY truly suffer (this one isn’t really an option)#or like 3) go lay in the dirt indefinitely idk i’m in over my head and i made a mistake moving but it’s too late to back out!#going home wouldn’t be good for anyone least of all me!#idk i feel like everyone is judging me for thinking i had it good then falling flat on my face anyways#i feel like it was some kind of sick joke that i finally for once felt stable and happy just to get it yanked away from me#and be worse off than before#sorry i’m really emotional because i’ve been going through it so hard for so long and i’m really exhausted#i hate getting on here and begging for work but idk what else to do right now#mine#arty art
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It’s gonna be a Chappell Roan summer this, brat summer that, cruel summer; stop it. I need the summer to stop. It’s so hot. End it. I wish I could go back to spring again
#This is a joke I like Chappell Roan and think the new Charli album is great#You know it’s gonna be a Fontaines fall for me though. I’m seeing them this autumn.#fontaines d.c.#fontaines dc#I stepped out for five minutes and I’m sweating#Music#music memes#charli xcx#chappell roan#Oh Such A Spring#taylor swift#anti taylor swift#interpret this however; I’m too busy trying to get a USB fan going#THE PROBLEM IS. I have a fan now but it’s packed bc I’m moving. And it’s like 30° outside hate this#Summer#song of the summer#HOT#Hate it here.
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Seeing Twitter users recommending the People Make Games documentary as a good way to get insight on the issue is so….
I know, I’m always extremely disappointed whenever I come across someone who thinks it’s the end all be all explanations regarding the Studio ZA/UM situation.
Recommending that video always comes with a heavy caveat from me that the person needs to stop around the 40 minute mark since the interviewer shows a very clear bias that’s unbecoming of a journalist.
Regardless, now that more people are finding out about these layoffs, which might take out members of the studio that have been there since the beginning, it could finally help smack some sense into those Twitter users that actually thought, FOR SOME REASON, Rostov, Kurvitz, and Hindpere were lying for shits and giggles rather than seeing what's ACTUALLY going on which is that the investors have a very obvious agenda against the real wronged party. Hopefully this'll also open their eyes to how the People Make Games video fed into this twisted narrative that Kurvitz was somehow at fault/responsible for the theft of his own IP, but that might be asking too much from their concrete brains. Here's hoping though!
#disco elysium#studio za/um#za/um#people make games#and I’m not even getting into Bratt’s response to the criticism he got#this man deleted so many YouTube comments that pointed out the inconsistencies and bias#it’s such a reddit conspiracy theory but at the time I briefly thought Kompus paid him off to push the narrative in his favor#now I’ve talked about this before in a post from almost a year ago#but i truly believe Bratt’s heart was initially in the right place but let his anger cloud his judgement#after kurvitz rightfully denied him a way to wrap up his video in a neat little bow cause he knew the studio would use his words against hi#something in Bratt must've snapped cause all the blame got pushed on Kurvitz for no reason other than he felt slighted by his response#it's kinda tainted PMG's work for me b/c moving forward I'll have doubt if the story truly is being accurately reported#my response#mp
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“Write down your long term plan for the future” assignments def had Soda stressing
#‘ppl r out here with PLANS?????’#Steve helped him bullshit one#guys how do ppl have PLANS??#I’m just trying to make it to tomorrow#the outsiders#the outsiders 1983#sodapop curtis#this or he just immediately wrote ‘none! :)’ and moved on#I can see him doing either tbh#hmmmm#maybe he wrote abt like marriage and shit#hmmmmmmm#see now I’m thinking#thoughts r forming#it’s unnatural for me
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PLEASE STOP COPYING FICS ‼️
I am by no means gatekeeping concepts or tropes. We all know that it’s normal to see the same tropes or AUs be used differently, and that is not plagiarism. However, I recently found a fic that was oddly similar to my old (and discontinued) Gojo x Reader series, Reckless. The CEO! Gojo is nothing new, and neither is an accidental pregnancy trope. The only reason I am concerned is because this Gojo series I found has the exact same themes as Reckless that consists of: a playboy CEO Gojo with a very notorious reputation, a poor reader who is an employee and asset to the company (someone who works closely with Gojo), reader getting knocked up from a one night stand with Gojo, reader with a seemingly dead/absent mother yet still in contact with her father, Gojo with a very traditional family who does not like reader, and Gojo with an ex he struggles to let go of - which are all elements of Reckless.
The first chapter of that Gojo fic is also eerily similar to my first chapter with the same flow of: YN finding out she’s pregnant and her friend being there for her, Gojo saying he’ll take responsibility because ‘they both made the baby’, YN having to move in with Gojo to take care of the baby, and both of them coming to a mutual agreement that their ‘relationship’ will be purely for the baby’s benefit. The flow of events and specific details about the characters’ backgrounds are too similar to mine.
Again, I am not gatekeeping concepts, just as how I’ve had other writers ask me if they could write their own stories or takes based off of the NAOYA’S TROPHY WIFE COLLECTION or the BONTEN HUSBANDS EXCLUSIVE, and I’m fine with that. I’m even happy people are inspired by what I write. But being inspired is completely different from taking someone’s story and posting it as yours. Please trust your own creativity and skills in writing. You can write amazing stories and have people love them without having to steal from others.
It’s sad to say this is not the first time I, and other writers, have been plagiarized. It’s even more upsetting to know that a friend of mine who has also written a Gojo series (that I’m sure you all know and dearly love) experiences the same issues with the same person. The fact that this is happening to many writers out there is disheartening. We work hard and pour a lot of love in the stories we create. None of us are getting paid for this, and we simply want to share our passions with others. So please, let us be kinder with one another and show love and support the right way. If you love a fic, you give feedback and rb/comment + show support to the writer. You don’t steal their ideas and play it off as your own because you liked it.
#for context: my Reckless series was posted around 2021 and this new Gojo series I found was posted in 2023 (when I was already in my hiatus)#i’m just... this is so upsetting. i have been in love with jjk for so long but i won’t lie and say the fandom hasn’t given me problems :(#there always seems to be drama or issue going around... why can’t we just all enjoy reading x reader fics in peace#if its not hate anons or discourse it’s plagiarism. it’s tiring#this is one of the reasons why i moved fandoms after my jjk works. because i used to love it sm but i just felt stressed out#and imagine my shock when i saw my friend got plagiarized bcos no way you guys are doing this to someone who worked hard on a fic for YEARS#imagine my double shock when i see that writer’s page and see a similar work to mine too like 😭 c’mon guys. you guys have big brains.#you can write something juicy and awesome without ripping it off from others#and please do not send hate to this creator at all! that is not the intention of this post. i will also not be dropping any names.#now i’m aware i take inspos from other media too - i say it often that my fics take inspo from k-dramas or songs#but i take inspirations only. i do not copy the entire thing and then tweak one minor detail to make it ‘a little different’
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