#and now i rly cant trust whether people like me for me or not because all ive heard is how i should kill myself so i can please society and

[grandtheftpoptart]

My grandmother gets mad when i hear her "private" conversations about me, but she speaks so fuckign loud?? Shes talking to my grandfather on speaker in the other room and i heard her say "if she lost 30-50 pounds, she's still going to be a bigger girl, or fat, because of her structure of her hips, legs, and thighs. I dont know how much she weighs now. She's extremely tall for a girl. She towers over guys her age and these things bother guys. There are guys interested in a heavy set girl, but other guys don't want to take the time to get to know someone, they judge based on looks" to which my grandfather replied "thats from society. she's still beautiful"

Stop talking about my weight and my height. I wish I were fuckign shorter, and I've already lost 50 pounds within the past year. I'm so insecure about these things and to imply I won't find someone to love based on my appearance not being accepted by society rly hurts. Like ??? This is why I can't stand my family. I'm the topic of every conversation and it's always negative or "oh I wish she was skinnier and shorter so she could actually find a man to love her"

[flovverworks]

ok akira posting but i feel like talking about how i live by these lines from 2nd anni again

I feel at ease when I’m with them. Because they make me feel like it’s okay to be disappointed when I burn my bread; it’s okay to go back and forth over whether I should eat bread with jam or olive oil.

'i feel at ease when im with them' u can imagine how obsessed that line made me. HOLD ON NVM IM GONNA 1.5 POST A BIT

The people he derided as heretics — they are the ones who always gave me a place to belong. And not through grand feats of magic, but rather...... Like those moments when someone picks up something you left behind. Or when you cross shoulders with someone, and they turn around with a smile for you. They created a place for me through faint, gentle tokens of kindness and trust. And that is why I wish, with all my heart, to create a place where they too can breathe a little easier.

this part in ch19,,,,im not gonna link the entire akira & murr convo but i think about that one all the time too. nero has something like that in one of his anni cards too? 'so its subconscious huh' about akiras kindness and not rly wishing for something selfish.

Murr: Did nobody tell you that? That you yourself are one and only? That nobody can replace you?

gah...it immediately ties into murrs convo with talia, so the entire thing is just soooo greatly done to my tastes, but the car horn sfx..........also i cant check the jp rn cuz its way too much work, but breathing a little easier and cup filled to the brim are both things that return in pt2.... (the cup also pointed toward akira(talia) both times????) at the end of the day im not sure just how much of that convo is pointed at akira, but considering mhyks focus on love (as well as things like brads words to akira when they hand them the books) i am embracing current and post-mhyk akira to be someone who is learning to be more confident and love themself as well as the world around them. im not going to portray pre-mhyk akira as someone who is severly missing those parts of themself or anything, but with how akira throughout the series points out how they can now look at powerful people without looking away (theres a couple 'had this been before i came here i surely wouldve looked to the ground and walked by silently' & the like) as well as their 'this person sounds scary:( but i shouldnt be prejudiced:)'

which is why 'i feel at ease with them' and 'they gave me a place to belong' both mentioning mundane things is important to me. im nvr gonna go into it deep but i think its very easy to feel lost and alone in the world and to me, post-mhyk akira is more comfortable in themself. like a lot of this isnt going to come up considering how rarely i write pre-mhyk akira but. i think about akira saying those things a lot. <-also explains a lot of my akira music choices

also the entirety of mili's flowerworks....like..............................

[mithliya]

Hey I hope you don’t mind this question but lately I’ve been thinking about me being a lesbian or just bi.

I wanna hear the opinion of other lesbian and bisexual women because I can’t really tell this to my family. English is not my native language so forgive me if there’s grammatical errors.

I had a boyfriend in the past and when I broke up with him I realized how much I didn’t actually liked him, physically and emotionally (i could only do “sexual” stuff with him if I imagined he “wasn’t really there” like my fantasies involved having sex with faceless and sexless people, UNLESS they were women)

For comparison, I’ve been in love with other women and when that happened I was OBSESSED with them, I loved them all so much. Does this mean I’ve always been a lesbian?? I’m confused.

i cant tell u for sure if ur a lesbian or bi so im rly sorry if thats what u want from me, sexuality is a personal thing and ultimately only you can know for sure what ur sexuality is. however, i can tell you that some of your experience is relatable to me. the issue is that the lines can sometimes be unclear between bi women who are strongly ssa-leaning vs lesbians who forced themselves thru heterosexual interactions. if looking thru ur life, u didnt experience any genuine attraction to men and can generally see a theme where u were mostly trying to fit in rather than genuinely interested & ur interactions w them were forced & uncomfortable & traumatic, then there is a high chance ur a lesbian. but i think the clarity on that will clarify for you in some time. id recommend not worrying too much about figuring it out now, things will clarify for you eventually, and id advise just dating women and the answers will come 2 u through that naturally. i think for lesbians w more of a history w men, once ur with a woman its like an Aha! moment sometimes and its clearer to see how u feel about women vs men when u actually have experiences w women.

anyways to answer ur question, its possible youre a lesbian. but it could also be possible that ur bi with a strong preference & that u didnt like him specifically. youll figure it out eventually, i know how stressful and uncertain this must feel for u but try to have trust in urself and in clarity coming to u eventually bc i remember freaking out and obsessing over whether im les or bi when i was coming 2 terms w my sexuality @ 17/18 <3

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

han x reader | part five of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy & child-birth

↬ notes; jisung lil qt jajajaja i cant i love him

u guys had been engaged for a few months n u two found out early on when u missed ur period

han was actually the one who figured it out n he dropped so many hints that u were pregnant 

he ends up flat out telling u that ur pregnant

“okay, you’re pregnant. it’s obvious!! how can you not tell!!”

sure enough the test confirmed what jisung was thinking the whole time

he’s very attentive nd hes so attached to u

u assure him ur okay to go to the bathroom alone

or go out for work

or cook dinner by yourself

he thinks anything is not safe for you to do

i feel like han is the really worried caring person, constantly thinking of the worst things that could happen n hes so buried by the worrying

his day probably goes - wake up, eat breakfast with u, practice, come back for lunch, go back and finish up practice, cuddle with u, (sometimes make dinner), eat dinner, do whatever chores need to still be finished, (write lyrics when he can), get ready for bed with u, wait until u fall asleep, talk to the baby for about half an hour, then finally he will sleep (if he isn’t up working extra)

hes worn out :(

everybody is rly worried about him n he just tells them hes fine

han rants to u about the boys talking to him asking him about it and u cant really do much except sit there in silence and nod

one day its all just too much for him

he just bursts into tears

“am i doing this right?” 🥺

u assure him he’s doing everything well but he needs to slow down

“baby, you need to take some time for yourself. you don’t need to worry about me, i’m fine. you are not, you need to relax okay?”

“can we just lay down?” “of course we can.” :(

from now on he decides to just come back for dinner like he used to, instead just staying home on bad days for u

he likes to lay his head in ur lap n watch a movie or read a book or just sleep

he will do anything for u, whether it be making u disgusting combos of food or dealing with ur crying over sad movies

mmm he loooovveesss skinship now that u r pregnant

backhugs always

just imagine him with his hands encased around the lower part of ur bump, his head and hair brushing against ur neck and chin with his chin pressed against ur shoulder

he’ll talk to u sweet af

he mentions to u a lot how he wants to marry u already

u guys just delayed the wedding for awhile since u would be uncomfortable in a dress and heels + u would be busy with ur baby after

he sits around a lot doing things just to be around u but to be relaxed while doing so

lots of kisses on ur bump because its even better than ur cheeks and lips or forehead or hand

he does the whooollee nursery by himself

he likes to lay on the soft carpet in there

he’ll sometimes write lyrics in there

maybe make music n shit

he likes it when u sit in the chair thats there for when u wanna sit and feed or just sit there n rock so u can put them to sleep

unlike everyone else yall figure out the gender before the birth

a rly cute cake that’s got blue n pink marbled fondant to cover it

its hot as hell n jisung is just clinging to u while making rounds with u around the backyard

its super cute trust me

u guys have the iconic game where u guess the circumference of ur bump 😌

guess who guesses right !!

nobody other than yang jeongin king of measuring 😍

its time for u guys to cut the cake n u two are actually nervous for this part

u guys have like forty people at ur house just watching u and waiting for the cake to be cut

u cut into it n theres the blue cake that was underneath the frosting n fondant

“we’re having a boy!”

group huggg

u guys are actually great at hiding the pregnancy and were going to release pictures from the duration of it after ur baby was born

hes hoo vv ee rr in gg the last few weeks

u have this cute sized bump, it’s just absolutely adorable

its cute tho u have this lil waddle n he’ll help u with everything u need 🥺

his clothes are all u need

now u two also had to get induced like changbin and his now wife

hes just singin n hummin while he holds ur hands n lets u rest against him

he’ll get in his final words to his little boy before he’s here

jisung is so sure ur gonna break his hands while hes ur #1 fan in the delivery room but then he hears the cries and ur grip loosens around his hands

ur baby boy is just laying on ur chest before jisung is like

“he’s so cute.”

and ur just sniffling and jisung is like aww thats cute

then u look at him so sadly

“but i hurt ur hands” :(

he looks at u like 0_0 & just laughs

he gives his red hands a good look, they DO hurt but he doesnt rly care cause its already going away

“yea well i bet pushing this squishy baby out hurt more!!”

u nod and laugh, knowing hes right

the room is silent while u cuddle with ur brand new baby boy

“u think he’s gonna be a rap star just like me?”

“han, shut up.”

big pout :(

“fine, but i’m sure he’s gonna be a free style genius just like me.”

tons of pics and he’s blowing up everyones phones with pictures of ur little boy in his cot

+ bonus , jisung’s favorite part about your pregnancy was how you had grown so kind

he swore u were almost like candy rotting a tooth as u spoke to him

sure u had those days where u were irritated and upset

but u could be talked down in an instant with jisungs’ touch or voice, it somehow always worked to soothe u

he remembered this one time u were upset for whatever reason, but hey u were the pregnant one!!

u pouted and had ur brows furrowed nearly half the hour u were sitting on the sofa while jisung was working with papers spread on the coffee table

he let u come and sit next to him, soon letting u lay ur head down in his lap

his hand would brush against your bump, immediately seeing your face soften and a smile on your lips

there was the y/n he remembered waking up this morning

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[scandeniall]

no face no case

pairing suna x reader

summary/warnings: yeah suna is a PRO at the no face no case type shit. 18+ talks about sex, the devils lettuce (for like 2 seconds and uses the word “maybe” this was also written before that weird hyperfixation with him being a stoner which i have thoughts of annoyance towards but w/e), hes annoying

note: this was supposed to be a short drabble but ended up being over 1k words. brevity is not my strong suit.

update: i did bf texts based off this

Suna is a pro at no face no case. Like this man will hide your relationship for months (if you’re ok bc he’s not a dick). Part of it is because he’d had shitty experiences in relationships before and the other part is just bc as a pro player he didn’t need ppl in his private life. It’d be somewhere between 8-10 months until your face is ever posted even on snap and even then the pic is mad blurry. But the caption would be something like “kinda hot or whatever” or “Alexa play nasty by DaBaby to where you literally have to force him to change the caption bc SIR”. He’d definitely go post that same pic with that caption on finsta and add like 🥵💦to it.

Anyways, he’s really good at the whole deal. Like during the time before you two were a couple and kinda just hanging and dating around casually he’d talk about other people he found hot with his bros and maybe go on the occasional failed date (it failed bc he didn’t even put in the effort to get to know the person. Just “uh uh” “yeah that’s cool or whatever” and he’s super dry with it)

Anyways once you’re actually a couple whenever someone would show him a picture of someone he thought was hot he’d just shrug like no comment. After practices they guys would be like “yo you wanna go get drinks or hop on the game,” and he’d just say he was busy. Anyways that same night on his priv story he’d post some black and white filtered video of him kissing up and down your neck. And it was obvious that this mystery person was straddling him too.

Washio swipes up like: 🤨

Komori: did you mean to post that

He just leaves it on read and goes back to enjoying his night. After it was obvious to everyone on his priv/finsta that he was indeed in a relationship his story almost always has a flick of his hand on your ass. No caption, just his hand gripping through your jeans/sweats/ his boxers you name it.

Suna might smoke on occasion. Only during the off season though bc he is not dumb now. (sometimes osamu comes through but you’re never around). Anyways he’s the type to have some led strip lights in his room lining the ceilings and whether you smoked or not he’d invite you over. The room is all hazy and it’s like damn bitch are you tryna hot box. Anyways during those nights he’s so high and is slightly less intentional with keeping your identity hidden. Thankfully the lights and smoked out room does a pretty good job for him. Bc he kinda just sets up his phone has you on his lap and just likes make out real nice and slow. (he accidentally posts a part of it while high. He thinks it’s on video but he recorded on Snapchat. Be thankful it snap only records so much before cutting off)

Other times y’all would just be lounging on the couch passing a joint back and forth and he’d be like “put your legs on my lap so I cant take a pic” after he gets it he pushes your legs off and puts his on you instead lol.

He likes just vibing in the house to music with him playing his game and you just doing you. He’s not paying any type of attention to you but whenever you get up to go get some food or to pee he’d post some shit like “my date really left me? Can’t trust anyone can you.” Will record certain parts in songs (it be the dumbest parts too) and be like “I dedicate this to the 1 who left me to eat”

He’s also SO annoying that his lock screen is a pic of you both. One you had taken with self timer. You’re sitting in his lap smiling and he’s kinda just looking at you like “wow I rly like you”. But anyways back to him being annoying— he has emojis covering both of your faces. The clown emoji to be exact. To go along with that sometimes he’d post more couple-y picks on his priv but again there’s an emoji. Once he even used the Snapchat paint feat to draw you on an outfit over the one he had and captioned “mine knows how to dress 🥵”

Whenever he did want to maybe post some cute pic without all the jokes it’d be something like you’re holding hands or if he fell asleep in your lap he’d post the pic of him in your lap and your hand is visible in his hair

Yeah he also never even mentions your name around his friends. It’s either some nickname like “loser” or he’s just like my s/o. His contact name for you is “im dating?” (Even once your identity isn’t a secret he doesn’t change it to your name it just kinda changes to “I’m engaged?” To “im married?”)

Ok so even once he posts that blurry pic on his public verified account all those months ago he doesn’t really do much more than that. Like folks want an HD pic of you and him? Yeah good luck. He’d occasionally post a ig story of y’all meal together if it was looking extra tasty but that’s about it. People would kinda forget he’s even in the relationship until like your anniversary and he STILL doesn’t feed into the mystery. He got you a gold chain with a charms of his initials. He’d post another dumb black and white filtered pic with his hand resting on the crook of your neck and his thumb near the letters with some caption like “365? That’s wild” at some point after that he’d actually post a real pic with you two bc while it was fun and cool for a while sometimes he does want to actually be a good bf and share some of the dumb shit you two do together (like the time he made a PowerPoint of all the reasons you should buy him a ps5. He recorded all your bored and unamused reactions too. “Because I’m hot and dick game kinda decent,” is not enough of a reason to drop $500+ on you sir esp because hes the type to sometimes just stop mid stroke like “whew yeah ima need you to top now” like the audacity)

[wearethewinx]

fate episode 6 spoilers below

admittedly that opening shot slaps. like that immediately makes me curious

bloom why are you looking. everywhere but at the glowing pillar in front of you

LOL WHOOPS

AISHA ARE U FOR FUCKING REAL. WRITERS ARE U FOR FUCKING REAL. THIS IS NOT MY GIRL

lol dowling thats what happens when u liiieeeeee

jfdlsfjlds terras dad being so stumped by her completely correct rebuttal that he just says 'you need to cool down'

'sorry you have to be visible to have a point of view' that line really made it into the script huh

theyre REALLY gonna make aishas first and only autonomous act in this entire show be to snitch on her friends

oh so there are witches huh. is that how were doing this huh. oh my god this is so unnecessarily complicated and confusing? this is. ridiculous? why wouldnt anyone else know about the witches? how does them being witches give rosalind the right to murder them all? HOW IS BLOOM OK WITH THIS LADY JUST SAYING 'yeah i lied and killed them all because only fairies are allowed to do magic' HWAT THE FUCK

*sky voice* i am literally so fucking stupid and boring its unreal

lol even sam is like 'terra shut up'

see i dont wanna be so mean to terra but shes explicitly written to be as annoying as humanly possible? people keep telling her theyre not interested and she just mows right over them completely not caring EVERY time

oh bloom is growing a braincell now huh

'only vanessa and michael could give you love' YOU CALL THAT LOVE? YOU CALL THAT SHIT LOVE? WHERE ARE THE WRITERS ILL FUCKING KILL THEM

me, every time: weve gotta be getting close to the end now right weve been here at least forty minutes

the timestamp, every time: 21:30

HOW is it possible for a show to drag this much? six hours feels like 18

nobody told the caption writer that rivens name is riven not 'riv'

stella being like 'WE shouldve never gotten back together WE are codependent and toxic' gurl,,,,,,,, You

rly have to stress that bloom listened to rosalind talk and was like 'oh genocide? well thats totally understandable, i trust you implicitly. here i was thinking you were just a regular mass murderer!'

WHY ARE THERE NO MAGIC PAINKILLERS. WHY IS THE ONLY WAY TO EASE SOMEONES PAIN FOR MUSA SPECIFICALLY TO TAKE IT ON

ALSO TERRA FUCK. YOU. FOR EVEN THINKING THAT, MUCH LESS SAYING IT OUT LOUD

how does the solarian royal family have a magic teleportation ring but they cant move troops across their country in less than 2 days

*bloom voice* come on sluts im gonna put you all in danger

PLEASE let sky miserably wail 'YOU KILLED MY FATHER' please god let it happen PLEASE

damn ok i actually REALLY like skys reaction here. unironically well written, very believable. even a stopped brain has good ideas twice an episode i suppose

love that musa only gets dignified with the slightest sliver of backstory in this, the final episode

STILL only HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE. THIS IS SICK TIME DILATION FUCKERY

flora isnt supposed to be the loose canon of the winx for fucks sake

ok but WHAT ARE THE BURNED ONES. WHERE ARE THEY FROM. WHY DO THEY CARE ABOUT BLOOM. EVEN SHE HASNT ASKED YET! ARENT YOU CURIOUS ISNT ANYBODY CURIOUS

bloom: yeah rosalind unleashed the burned ones to attack us all but i totally trust that she told me the truth about how to stop them

blooms wings look FUCKING STUPID those arent even wings theyre just random red blobs with a mesh pattern

i guess im glad we actually GOT wings but my god is this a disappointment as wings go

also @ everyone in the tag calling this a 'transformation': are we watching the same fucking show lol. having fire swirl around you isnt a transformation. TRANSFORMING. is what makes it a transformation. absolutely nothing changes about her except having a couple blowtorches on her back

CANT STRESS ENOUGH THAT BLOOM KEEPS HEARING PEOPLE ADMIT TO MURDER AND RESPONDING WITH 'OH it was just MURDER lol thank god'

'bloom transformed' nO SHE DIDNT THAT WASNT A TRANSFORMATION OH MY GOD

ok but why WOULDNT rosalind reveal exculpatory information when it benefited her lol. why are you idiots believing her. why are you accepting that as a justification

'ive been a brat' OH SO YOU ADMIT IT

'can we hug' very normal request bloom especially considering the circumstances /s

my mom would flip her lid if i invited four friends over w/o asking in advance and then put her on the spot abt whether they can stay the night, and thats WITHOUT the added context that BLOOMS MOM THINKS THESE ARE HER SCHOOL FRIENDS FROM S W I T Z E R L A N D AND THAT THEY WOULDVE HAD TO FLY ACROSS THE OCEAN TO GET THERE

this bloom family montage is 1: unearned (i remember the door, assholes) and 2: TOO long and cheesy

i love that stellas mom still hasnt admitted shes missing or come looking for her lol. the HEIR to the THRONE has been MISSING for WEEKS and thats just Okay

lmao what the fuck. how is andreas wearing the same clothes as 16 years ago. anybody care to explain what the goddamn hell is going on here

dragonflame namedrop huh? interesting

LOL EVERYONES JUST ACCEPTING ROSALIND BACK WITHOUT QUESTION? SHE DISAPPEARED AND WAS PRESUMED DEAD FOR 16 YEARS

HOW STUPID ARE THE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD

THE KING OF ERAKLYON. ABANDONED HIS SON. TO RAISE BEATRIX

WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL

omg she just fucking killed her

absolutely metal

ah HERE are the hideous outfits from the promo image. hate

final thoughts: this show is dumb

[brokemylegflippingthefirewall]

*This is absolutely a fic promotion, but plz hear me out on the discourse part too

So, self inserts and original characters, the worst fanfic catgeory (fanfiction.net literally says that in one of its fic groupings, and I'm pretty sure the number of views on any fanfic website says the same).

TLDR- Yes, I agree that this stereotype carries truth, but I do think SIs and OCs have more potential to be explored, and the stigma surrounding these labels is blocking that. And oh god I just want to know so badly if this is the deal with the work I'm currently writing or if I genuinely just can't write well.

The longer version- (this was written quite late into the night/ I'm in Singapore/, and might not be so well organized, I apologize for that.)

To what extent is this stigma "justified"? I mostly use AO3 for reading fics, and when I see the OC/SI tag, the thing is....I came to look for fics about canon characters and might not have the wish to invest my time in taking in a new character. I understand that most people who read fanfiction would feel the same. This, I think, is more or less justified. If you came to look for a certain canon character/relationship, and you don't want to get invested in any OCs, then of course the OC/SI tag isn't for you.

But... I think that's about it. Bcs here's the thing,

1. Using the OC/SI format does NOT automatically make the fic worse in quality. Hell, I'm not even sure if the statistical "fact" that these tags generate the worst fics is true. Judging from what I've read in the tma fandom and my other past fandoms, the stuff with OC/SI isn't inherently worse or better than the rest of the fics. There are ones that are pretty normal in writing quality, and the ones where the prose is rly good, others where plot design stands out etc. Of course, there is a lot of wish fulfillment and the like, but... there's also a lot of that in fics that write about canon characters.

2. I can't really say whether a wish fulfillment "I just want to write cool scenes/fluff" fic is better or worse than a more serious fic that explores some characterization or plot point. I think stories (all stories, books, fanfic, myths, everything) exist to entertain us and make us feel things. I am not sure if writing a feel good story is any less meaningful than writing a story that brings people "deeper" thoughts and makes them feel good in some other way. And this isn't even the issue at hand, because fundamentally, writing an OC/SI or not doesn't determine what the content is about. I agree that a larger proportion of OC/SI fics tend to be more on the lighthearted side, but... so is most of the content consumed in the other tags. Readers don't seem to have a problem with feel good stories/fix it fics etc when there is no OC or SI, so I don't see why that type of fic paired with an OC/SI should be considered any less "meaningful".

3. Guys/gals, what is an OC/SI?

Yes, it is very personal, and it is very wish fulfillment, but... isn't that like a common literature thing...like in general? Look at the works that "real writers" publish, from contemporary to the classics, which writer doesn't write about themselves? Like, just off the top of my head, Les Miserables, Marius? Um, Dante's Inferno? (and that guy did not self insert into some random thing he straightup went for the Christian Canon😂 used his real name too, so Jonny I guess if you feel awkward about your MCs name you can think of Dante//Jk). But seriously, self insert and wish fulfillment is a big part of literature itself, and while there are things to be said about these tropes, if people don't have that much of a problem with them in other literature, I don't see why fanfic OC/SIs shouldn't be treated the same.

4. in relation to the last point. More specifically...

I do think that a lot of fanfiction which write about the original characters are also OC/SIs to different extents. I've read fics that depict pairings where the author and readers project heavily onto one (or more) of the characters. I've read stuff where the author uses a minor character to explore the established world building/character dynamics and it's clear that it's an SI but with the appearance of being a canon character (and yes it gets tons more views than one that's written as SI). How do I know this? Because I am one of those readers who project onto those characters, and I know why I read those fics, I know why I like them. It's because I can self insert, and feel like I am part of the story, part of the world. Isn't that something most people want to do? I mean, Universal Studios? Specific franchise themed museums? COSPLAY??? Of course that's not all there is to engaging with a story, but what's the shame in wanting to be a part of an already established world building, or want to love a wonderfully designed character? (slight tangent, but if u feel like it's bcs ur not as interesting/cool as the story's world or other characters appear to be then I can tell you with certainty that's not true. You are very interesting and cool and absolutely deserve to be part of a fantasy world.) Isn't that a big part of why "real literature" is written and read as well? So... what's the problem with being like, okay, I'm just gonna insert myself into the world now, through this original character? Of course, I'm not asking for people who prefer to write strictly in canon characters to change that. What I mean to say is, writing it in the form of an OC/SI, doesn't make it a lot different from other fics, or hell, from classic literature even.

I think a potential problem might be the feeling that you are taking too much creative liberty with something that is established canon, by having your own character directly interact with it. But, um, can't the same thing be said if you take a canon character, and then proceed to project heavily onto them? Like, a big part of why I don't feel comfortable writing just canon characters is that I know I'm clearly projecting and it feels awkward to rewrite an already established character to explore my own thoughts/desires. I would rather just straightup design a new character. (this is all just personal feelings, I haven't thought enough about this to make any kind of argument here. And of course, the main reason is I can't trust myself to write canon characters that don't ooc in some way so having one as my protag might kill me with my own awkwardness. )

5. the potential.

Now this is looking far ahead because I'm not sure how much our current system for distribution of knowledge & copyright can allow it. But damn. The OC/SI thing has a lot of potential. There is one thing that makes it different from writing in canon characters, and that is the way it opens up a clear space for you to add your own experience into the story. When exploring your own world view through the lense of an already established world, or vice versa, so much can be revealed about both, perhaps even bringing to light aspects of the narrative the author hadn't previously seen. We all know this feeling, it's when we ramble on about one of our stories or worlds to a friend, and they point something out, and we're like ooooh that makes a lot of sense but I hadn't thought about it before. Yea, like those moments. Stories are generally made more interesting by their interaction with many different perspectives/experiences. With OC/SI it straightup allows you to be like, okay, I'm going to engage my own experience with this fictional world/character now. I mean, isnt that also a large part of how fanfics work in general? Readers/writers bouncing symbols and experiences off each other in the form of stories? Reading about the various interpretations of canon stuff? Whats the problem with tagging it as it is? I'm just thinking about the fics that could have been written as OC/SI and explored the story in some fascinating way which weren't written at all or were discontinued bcs the number of views discouraged those authors. (I feel that with my current work as well, though I have already written half of it and the remaining half is too juicy to give up so I'll probably be completing it)

6. conclusion, sorta

I guess what I want for OC/SO fics is just the same treatment as everything else. Saw it in the tags you were searching for? Look at the teaser. Do you find it interesting? No, then very well. Yes, then click in and take a look. Do you like the writing style? Are you getting into the narrative?... etc. You know, like, same standards you would have for any other kind of fic. Not feeling like you want to read about a new character? Cool, no problem at all, click away. But I do not think that the current difference in number of views is just based on whether readers are interested in reading about a new character or not. In fact, that's what I want it to be. Show me that "true" difference, the one without the stigma behind it, because, as the same goes for every kind of stigmatized community, you're not receiving the proportionate amount of positive feedback, but what's worse is you can't even trust the criticism you receive. If no one engages, or someone gives a negative feedback, how am I supposed to know if it's because my writing is bad? or my teaser wasn't interesting? or my character was badly written/designed? Or if it was to a certain extent, bcs of the stigma? I do want criticism, of course I do, it's the first step to every improvement, and I would love it if I could get feedback that I can trust. (and this brings us to the truely "oppressed" community of the fanfic world, the people who write very good but cant write interesting teasers//jk)

7. the entirely skippable straw man rant part, also the expression of my love for The Magnus Archives.

some straw man: if you like writing your own characters so much, why not just write your own story entirely? and publish it?

You think I'm not annoyed about that? Here's the thing, I LIKE THIS WORLD I READ FROM THIS BOOK/SOME OTHER FORM OF MEDIA OR WHATEVER, I like it, it's brilliant, I want to write for it, about it, be in it, think about it, read about it, engage in whatever way I can. I CAN'T just "go write my own." And who do you think is more annoyed about not being able to publish the stuff? (According to you) I have written something that is potentially publishable (thank you btw I know you don't exist and is a strawman I invented just now but I've gotta get my compliments where I can//Jk), and I can't publish it in any potentially big way (and rightfully not) because I have no copyright over the characters. I worked hard to design my character, to make the plot meaningful, and to study the original canon plot and characters so that it would all fit together (I mean, partially bcs I can't force myself to sit down and write sth that is any less complex), and I can't actually publish it where more people will read it. And of course, on top of that, even less people will feel like reading once that "original character" tag is up. Does it look like I would be here if I could "just write my own"?

(slight tangent but come on what even is "your own"? how many classic European lit books were just fanfics of each other which were all just fanfics of the Bible or Greek mythology or sth? Stories and symbols have no boundaries it's the economic system that drew those.)

Damn this got way longer than I thought and it's morning now😂 guess I ran out of space to actually promote my fic, might have to do that in a seperate post then. But to anyone who actually read up to here, I'm so sorry for wasting your time no but srsly thanks for reading all of these jumbled thoughts, and good luck with whatever you are working on at the moment, I know you're probably working on something if you're reading through these tags. And of course good luck to the tma folk we're gonna face the end together🙏. good night (I should rly go to sleep now😂)

[edengarden]

hey man when you have the time can i pwetty pwease get a music matchup!

3 positive traits of mine areeee: brave, resilient and friendly!

3 negatives are: obnoxious, stubborn, extremely distrusting

my hobbies include: true crime, baking, reading and crying over video games

my music taste is mostly rock, other close faves are metal, punk, folk anything super upbeat but depressing and indie! though as for most people im open to all kinds too uwu oh and i know its not a genre itself but im also a huge sucker for songs where the singers get so into singing they have that kind of loud yell/growl in some parts of it? i ascend to another realm when i hear it tbh, sorry if thats like incomprehensible orz

what i look for is kindness, sincerity, humour and passion tbh

things i dont like in people are mostly just genuinely mean people who feel the need to put others down. not in a joking friend asshole way but in a genuinely malicious way. cant stand em, i can will and have gotten into fights with these ppl. why be mean when u can be... nice and help ppl and make them smile like... i just dont get it.

my big three star signs are taurus sun, cancer moon and pisces rising. idk jackshit abt but ppl call me baby bc of it and i am NOT a baby! i may look like a blue haired version of the aDAM vine guy but!! im not baby, i am bastard if anything.

im also an entp-t if that uhhh helps.

fun facts about myself, uh im super good at reading people irl, im a human lie detector and it freaks people out. this uh.. does make me have trust issues.

i once got into a fight in a library with a group of people bc they were blackmailing one of my friends. i subsequently got kicked out but! i did win and my friend wasn't harassed by those ppl ever since.

oh im rly good with animals, i have a reputation where i live for taking in animals and helping them find their homes!

im very loud and stupid, it bewilders people how stupid i am. ironically ive got medals for academics. you wouldnt think that of someone who quire literally kept pushing a pull door in front of three people and proceeded to say "damn :/ i think this door is stuck" and then immediately have one of those people silently pull the door open and... man you can imagine the faces they all gave me. orz.

ooookie dokie i think thats it! sorry if this was too much! if you want me to elaborate or need any help deciphering my bullshit ill call myself 💥anon and ill try to help anyway i can

anyway thanks for your time i hope you have a fantastic day!

GROWLINF SINGERS ARE THE BEST I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOOOODDDDDD. I GET EARGASMS I SWAR THE EMOTIONS ARE OFF THE CHARTS-

Also, you sound like a MOOD. I’m a Taurus sun too UwU

I’d match you up with Semi!

Okay I know this sounds like a rough match but listen, listen... your taste in hobbies and music is IMMACULATE to him. Kudos to you, he respects the fricken drip.

I can also very easily see you two cuddled up on the couch late at night and watching buzzfeed unsolved?? Like that’s your ideal date??

And Semi finds your “stupidity” so endearing?? For some reason?? Like yea he’s gonna scold you for trying to push a “pull” door but oh my god he can’t believe that you’re the same person who’s acing all their classes, it’s mind-boggling. You’re his little phenomenon.

Semi will always go to you when he gets song inspo. Whether it’s lyrics or instrumental, he wants your opinion on the matter even if you’re not that music oriented. The only thing is he might get a bit shy showing his work to you if you’re mentioned in the lyrics or if it’s obvious that the song is about you. Please praise the poor boy he’ll deny it but he’s melting and/or blushing. If he manages to get some funky growl vocals or instrumentals, or REALLY good chords and dissonance and you react in any way (whether it be a gasp or a literal pterodactyl screech), he’s gonna feel so proud omg omg from now on his goal is to get that reaction from you as often as possible.

Thank god semi isn’t a “I’ll hold ur flower bby you go beat up the assholes” type of boyfriend bc you’d get in trouble so often?? I think Semi would cut the bullshit and remind you that getting hurt over that isn’t worth it. He’ll physically hold you back if he needs, I swear. But usually, he’s got the words necessary to explain to you that no, throwing hands in this situation will not improve it at all so please don’t go punch a nazi in the face you can just film it and call the person out so that the world can see. Semi’ll help you find out who they are and together you’ll report them to their workplace and have them fired. Semi will teach you the ways of cunning revenge.

Songs!!

- Sons of the Silent Age, David Bowie (THE EMOTIONS THE EMOTIONS THE EM- Semi practically mastered that song because the two of you sing it so often)

- The Dogs of War, Pink Floyd

- Owner of a Lonely Heart, Yes

- Money, Money, Money, Meryl Streep, Julie Walters & Christine Baranski (the growl you’ll love the growl and so does Semi)

[magical-agatha]

god my fuckin temperament is too weak to handle thinking about inguinal hernias anymore today. this: http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans?page=guidelines-testicular-pain is still the only link i can find that has any confirmation of it as a danger to trans women who tuck. but it doesn't go into detail about how the actual hernia is occurring and what the relationship is with tucking. but at least it confirms a correlation so i know that it is in fact a danger and not just wild speculation or something based solely on one person’s experience, which may or may not reflect the rest of the community. from what i can guess its probably like? pushing the testicles into the inguinal cavity is distending it and weakening the muscles, which is allowing the intestines to slip through into the cavity. i wonder if theres like, something in this to do with like, physical exertion, bc it could also be that tucking is creating a weakness that is getting exacerbated by a moment of physical exertion? or maybe by moving in a way that like, affects the muscles in there? idk. there really isnt a lot of info about this and im not a doctor so the best i can do is speculation. but i dont think the idea that tucking is distending the inguinal cavity which is weakening the associated abdominal muscles is too extreme of a jump. this is one of those times where i really really wish there was more medical information and research about trans bodies, bc most of what there is is sporadic and incomplete and the rest is sourceless uhh, whats the word, when its just based off a persons experience being recounted without any like, reliable research or info. starts with A. im very tired lol. point is i wish there was more info out there cuz there really isnt a lot and im scared ppl are going to get hurt bc of that. this is also like, opening my eyes a lot about how uncertain the information i have in general about like, my body and the bodies of other trans women. bc im finding inconsistent info about things i thought were facts, like for example tucking has always been held up to be perfectly safe, but ive never been able to do it without it hurting, and apparently like?? the whole ‘hrt will turn you infertile’ thing might be inconsistent too? apparently it happens to some but not others. and the thing about like, ‘you WILL lose the function of your dick’ (with the implied ‘but thats a good thing’ that has always pissed me off) and my dick still works, it works differently and i cum and orgasm differently than i did before hrt but it still very much works, it just seems to follow different rules? and i still cum and i can still get hard, both of those things were supposed to stop happening but they didnt. it just like.. went through a process of being reprogrammed so it behaves differently now. cuz there was a period where i couldnt orgasm and i couldnt cum, but then i could again, and now my orgasms are totally different than they were when i was pre hrt. instead of it being like, sudden and intense and overwhelming, it builds up slowly to a peak, then gradually declines from there and leaves you feeling warm throughout and very very soft. and my hen leaks precum constantly when im aroused, and then when i cum it shoots a little bit out then like, leaks goo for the next half hour, not a little bit either. its a mess.

there was something else i wanted to say here but i forgot it. all in all im just. mad that the only ppl who care about the health of trans ppl are some doctors and trans ppl themselves. and that information about our bodies is inconsistent even between professionals. i cant be sure that my doctor actually knows how my body works and whats best for me. it makes it so much harder to trust doctors and feel safe when i see them. what a nightmare. i want to help ppl. i want to find and compile info about our bodies to keep us all safe but i can barely look after myself and i cant commit to doing that. i have to focus on myself. so all i can rly do is like, give advice and try to warn ppl of potential dangers and do what research i can. which is what we’re all doing. the danger is when personal biases conflict with caring for the safety of other ppl, which is the root of all the problems with trans medical stuff i think. whether its doctors enforcing their biases on trans ppl thru medical advice/medicine, or trans ppl themselves giving advice that is warped by their personal beliefs. it leads to misinformation and inconsistency and thats dangerous. that means people getting hurt. so i have to be careful when i give advice to be aware of my own personal biases. such as like, i hate tucking, but i cant tell ppl to just not tuck bc its not my body, i dont know if theres a way to tuck safely or not, so instead i have to tell ppl to be careful and to be aware of potential risks, and to listen to their body bc pain and discomfort are important indicators of harm being done. but im scared that will be lost in the tide of ‘tuck or you arent a real trans woman, you need tucking to pass, it cant hurt you’ that has been spread among us for a really long time.

i feel like this is like, tied to another big problem which is the like, necessity and obsession with passing. which are two very different things. necessity is like, passing to be safe, which i feel like has room to accept that tucking might not be totally safe and comes with certain risks, because it isnt about affirming self worth or identity, only about staying safe. then obsession, which might not be the best word but it will do for now, by that i mean ppl who feel they Have to pass at all costs, bc they think that if they dont they arent a real woman or something like that. they tie passing to self worth and identity, if they dont pass they are worthless or incomplete or like, inferior to cis women, and they will do anything to pass, with little to no regard for personal safety. they will do risky things like skipping meals or tucking unsafely bc they want to pass at any cost. but they spread their perspective on this through advice to other trans women, telling them they need to tuck and they need to wear makeup and they need to do voice training and get implants and srs and all manner of things or they are a trender. a faker. they put insecurities into other trans women and bully each other to propagate their personal biases and force other trans women to conform. most trans women pre hrt are extremely vulnerable and lost, which is when these obsessive trans women give them bad advice and twist them to their world view. that happened to me. i got sucked into that when i was trying to figure out my identity and needed validation. luckily i got out of that and i know better now. its really fucked. ive talked about like, versions of this idea before. that there are two kinds of trans ppl, those who love being trans and those who hate is and want to be cis. and i think as im getting a bit older and learning more and getting further thru my transition im starting to put together a bigger picture of the interplay between all of this stuff. like, the interactions between cis society and its expectations of trans ppl, how trans ppl deal with those expectations and how they deal with living and moving in a cis society thats hostile to trans ppl. this is all one big mess. and thats not even touching on the interactions between terfs, transmeds, and the various levels of trans communities both online and irl. its an absolute nightmare. and then as well there’s like, further interactions with like, nb and gender diverse ppl, gay vs straight trans ppl, intersex ppl, exclusionists, and the mess that the current lgbt+ community online is. i could write a book about this. im living in a nightmare. a massive roiling chaotic community thats fighting itself and the world around it and trying to survive and destroy the parts of itself that it thinks arent ‘valid’. which sounds like a metaphor for my experiences as a trans woman. god and theres more i keep forgetting. im so scatterbrained tonight. i havent had enough sleep to be trying to talk about something so complex as this. and im destroying my hands by typing this much. time to stop. i can sort all this out later. what a mess.

[sfw-rfa-imagines]

Mystic Messenger Pokemon AU!

I’m so glad you guys seem interested in the Pokemon crossover! I’ve been sitting on it since last July and it’ll be nice to write it all down! Since the MC is a self insert, they're the only one without a team ^^

I’ll put it under the cut because it got to be a little long @.@

Saeyoung:

Seven is still a hacker in this AU. He has a special affinity for fire types for some reason, and Chimchar was both a gift from V and his starter. Instead of his father being Prime Minister, he was the champion. His mother used her Ghost and Psychic types to hide him and Saeran away, and his backstory parallels his regular one, with V getting him out and into the agency where he works. However, in this AU he works with Looker and Vanderwood, which makes for some interesting missions.

Along with his main team, he also has a rotom that lives in his cellphone and isn't normally used for battle. He's not above pulling out his secret 7th party member when needed. It may be “cheating” but he doesn’t really care.

Despite Emboar being his strongest Pokemon, he is rarely used bc he prefers to trick his way out of situations, and leave less of a trail back to himself. This is something Chimchar and Gliscor are pros at. All his pokemon are high energy like him except for emboar actually, he prefers to laze about and nap whenever possible.

Yoosung:

Both Shinx and Electrike have been with him since he was really really little! It’s part of the reason why he acts like such a puppy, haha. Electrike was a gift from Rika. He was a puppy from Rikas Maniktrike and, just like Yoosung, adores her. Duckett was also the offspring of Rikas Swanna, and Yoosung had to deliver her himself bc Rika was gone. When she got back, she was impressed and Rika let him keep her. 

That's when Yoosung decided to go to school to become a Nurse Joy! (bc he wants to be a vet in mm i thought it fit). Audino acts like a mom to Yoosung and keeps him on track. Bosley’s most used move is fake tears bc yoosung cries so often. Dewgong he actually caught on a whim. He’s very sweet, good natured, and surprisingly lazy.

Instead of LOLOL, Yoosung loves going to the game corner and gets caught up playing games there for hours.  

Zen:

Zens a contest coordinator and participates in pokemon musicals as well as regular musicals, like My Fair Ledian. Feebas was his starter bc his parents are horrible people and thought "an ugly boy should have an ugly pokemon!" 

Well he showed them!! He gave her all the love in the world and didn't even know she could evolve, but as soon as she did, he ran away with her to do musicals. Soon after, Absol was drawn to him bc Zen has the ability to see into the future (he keeps his ESP from the game, but it’s even more pronounced in this AU). Also his ninetails is shiny. He is basically a mini Zen. They share a spiritual connection, haha. Scizor likes to dance and Glade is a perfect gentlemen. 

All his Pokemon minus Alteria (whos acts nuts bc i thought it'd be funny) are amazingly well behaved but get a little too ruthless in battle (Since Zen was in a street gang when he was a kid in the actual game, I’m gonna say he was in team rocket for a while and his pokemon picked it up from there)

Jaehee:

Mienfoo was her starter pokemon whom she loves dearly. They're both very detail oriented and Mienfoo is very patient as well, as the two of them understand each other very well. Onix she has just because I just love the idea of Jaehee having an onix. Like, people see she has her Cinccino sitting in her shoulder and challenge her for easy cash. Then she just sighs, and has onix crush them bc she is a very busy women with many errands to run, thank you very much. 

Cinccino she has bc she gets stressed if there are messes. Cinccino was actually a gift from Jumin bc he's not as cold as he seems and feels guilty when his pokemon shed all over her house when he leaves them with her~~ Cinccino is very thoughtful and makes sure Jaehees work station and house is clean so she doesn't have to stress out about it. She caught alolan ninetails thinking it was a shiny (like Zens) and she was excited bc Zens her hero (its rly cute, she's still his biggest fan). When she found out it wasn't she was a little disappointed but kicked herself in the butt and took responsibility, and now ninetails is her most doting pokemon. She also is a big fan of Zen’s ninetails lol. 

Sawk she received as a sparring partner for her martial arts (Jaehee can and will murder you). He's very driven and stoic but also very mom like  (funny enough) and has told Jumin off more then once (not that Jumin understands or cares tho). She very recently obtained stufful bc she's been feeling lonely and she heard they were popular with single women. Her only regret is the increase in her weekly food budget.

Jumin:

So Empoleon was his starter pokemon and, like him, is very formal. His name is Sir Rupert Esquire, or just Sir Rupert. The two aren't very touchy feely but that's only bc Jumin has a steel wall up around him and whenever hes feeling extremely vulnerable he tends to stand extremely close to him, and Empoleon gets it.

Serperior is named Ribbons and he caught her when she was a Snivy on a business trip. He's very fond of her and likes to watch her lounge around in his penthouse. Scolipede just seemed right somehow? Idk, it just fit. Staraptor is another of his childhood pokemon. Sometimes Staraptor gets a little ruffled tho bc Jumin doesn't like letting him roam to far. Jumin is a clingy baby, at least with his pokemon bc he feels like no one else was ever there for him fully besides V and Rika, and with Rika’s "death" V has been distant. Jumin’s a mess man, he just doesn't want to admit it. 

V gives him Lilligant as a gift to make him feel better about V being gone so often. Jumin kinda projects onto her alot and tries his hardest to make sure she's safe and well cared for since he cant to the same for V. Lilligant loves him so much it's not even funny though. Jaehee can tell how he's feeling based on whether or not she can smell aroma therapy on him, as Lilligant tend to spam it to try and help when he's upset. 

The pokemon Jumin most dotes on is Elizabeth the 3rd (Persian) tho bc just like with Lilligant, he projects Rika onto her. Elizabeth was a gift from Rika afterall. Jumin feels the most connected with Elizabeth as well because she doesn't respect his boundaries like the rest of his team. She likes to coddle and groom him and all in all is a sweet, spoiled girl who loves her dad very much. Jumin's the son of his regions pokemon mart branch owner, making him super freaking rich.

V:

Okay, so I made V's team really cutise looking but I swear it has good reasoning. Okay, so his starter pokemon was Primarina and they are very close. He takes amazing care of her and she sings to him and gets him to open up a bit when he’s closing everyone out. She is very fond of Zen and mother’s him often bc motherly pokemon are #the best. Also V becomes a musician in one of his endings so I thought it was fitting. 

Solrock helps him with lighting for indoor photos and also on bad days for his depression, it likes to light up his room. Espeon is not only an empath who helps him through emotional stuff, but after he goes blind she helps him around and makes sure he doesnt hurt himself by tripping over things by letting him grab onto her tail. Vivallion he caught in a different pokemon (it’s a sun form but you know the team builder only has the generic art so shrug). V just thought he was pretty and photogenic. Chimecho was his mother's pokemon and after she died he took good care of her. And as for Maractus? V likes cacti and I just couldn't see him w a Cacturne.

Saeran:

Saeran built up his team to counter anything that could be thrown at him. Lucario, as a Riolu, was both his starter and a gift from Rika when she recruited him into Mint Eye. He is her most trusted admin, and can usually take out a threat before it has time to get serious. He’s intense in battle, but is also very doting on his pokemon and can’t stand it when they’re hurt. He also dotes on Rika’s pokemon when they let him. 

Porygon is meant to directly counter Seven’s Rotom, and Vileplume is fitted with multiple different powder moves for any situation. In this AU, Saeran’s mental breakdown in the secret ending is directly pareled by his attempt to use mega evolution with Lucario, who isn’t at a high enough level to keep himself under control while using it. Incineroar was another gift from Rika, and she likes to walk around outside her ball too keep an eye on her trainer. Everyone of his pokemon has cutesy nicknames that he only uses outside of battle.

Rika:

This is Rikas team. In this AU, she runs the Villain team, Mint Eye, like in the actual game. She had a Maneiktrike on her team till it died, which actually is what started her on her quest to catch the lake trio, which is Mint Eyes goal in this AU. She, like in the game, wants to get rid of all sadness in the world by getting rid of bad emotions and memories, as well as taking away will power that you could use to hurt other people. 

And until she can use the lake trio for that, she's using her trusty hypno and musharna to do it in their place. They’re a deadly duo. Swanna is pretty but also brutal so I thought it fit her well enough, plus it gave me a good reason to give Yoosung a duckett, haha. I gave her volcarona because it fit well, and also my own personal love for Volcarona. 

Sunflora is a pokemon that looks soft, but Rika’s has Leech Seed, Toxic, Worry Seed, and Attract. Rikas favorite is worry seed since she finds it easier to manipulate people after inducing an insomnia based paranoia. It helps with conversion. Alolan persian is her spoiled baby boy whom she loves. Imagine Garfield, but also with the alignment of John Arbuckle.

[energyswordsunday]

tell me a bit abt arcade . . i know he's an adopted canon character but how have u adapted him for your setting and ur OC stuff

ah ah good choice !!!!!!

so uhh in my playthrough in fallout new vegas i played through as prykopys. prykopys is a Gay Man and also a scientist so i had the confirmed bachelor perk and rly high intelligence on him and like. i had no clue who arcade was before playing the game.

so i get to the followers of the apocalypse and he just. hits it off really well with this dude. and despite him having that perk hes not really a flirty dude but like. i had him as my companion for as long as possible and everything i chose to say just vibed super well with him LMAO. 

so uh long story short i basically walked in on the perfect gay companion and he kinda fell super hard. 

i made jokes when arcade had to leave your party so you could finish his quest line (and the game) that prykopys was heartbroken and felt betrayed and all this bc i rly thought they got on well and prykopys has a very hard time making friends let alone indulging romantic interests due to past trauma. (his ex-husband didnt even love him even though he loved HIM and uh turned out to be spying on him for the leader of the clan in power bc he was working on research that. the leader of the vyre faction didnt approve of. so. he has major trust issues after that. he almost DIED)

and then from there. i kinda spent a few months daydreaming and fixating on this ship i had created with arcade and prykopys. at first i was intending on it being kind of a happy ending for him but once i played skyrim i ditched that and ended up adopting romlyn for that instead. oops. 

bc i realized that there was a huge maturity difference and both of them were too unstable to work together for much longer after the honeymoon phase.

anyways after that, and after i adapted romlyn and lucia to the runescape universe, i started to pull arcade from his source too and adapt him as well because though the oc x canon ship i had going didnt end up working very well, i thought it was an important part of prykopys’ development. so that’s why he’s still not as fleshed out as everyone else is.

i decided, since prykopys in his true source is an ancient vyre (think vampire but rather than being a human theyre more of a semi-quadruped batlike creature with big wings) that i’d make arcade a werewolf.

so i put him in the town of canifis in runescape, where all the other werewolves are, as kind of a shitty doctor. as in he does a pretty good job and knows a lot of shit for a werewolf but he doesnt give himself credit ‘cause he’s a “dumb feral dog” hgddkgjsgh.

prykopys had a large period of time in his history where he basically was exiled from vyre society and fled the area and raided libraries and created his own little hideouts where he suffered many, many a breakdown. so when he came back, the town of canifis was suddenly There when it wasnt before. and it had bars. prykopys is kind of notoriously an alcoholic among my ocs and frequently has other substance abuse problems. so he sticks around in canifis for a while. and thats how he meets arcade.

and basically they hit it off pretty well and have a whirlwind sort of romance, kind of fucked up but since prykopys is dealing with trauma and stuff still he cant decide, even though he has feelings for arcade and arcade does for him, whether or not he is ok with having a romantic relationship. and he self destructs. and goes missing for long periods of time. until finally, after enough stubborn assurances in his medical knowledge and abilities, arcade finally decides. you know what. im going to go to burgh de rott and help out there. because its obvious that i can be doing a lot more over there and they really need it after what theyve been through.

and prykopys doesnt take it well. ghdkghkgj.

but then, there you go. arcade is now a gay werewolf man that taught himself medical shit for the sake of, at first, having a “normal persona” for when he is presenting in his human form when unsuspecting people visit canifis, so yknow he can eat. and was really down on himself and basically told himself, even though he did NOT have to learn all this shit at all, that he was a fraud and not even a real doctor. and then with a Rude Awakening and being able to relate with someone who struggles with similar self confidence issues and other trauma, finally comes to terms with the fact that, even though he has like no sense of self worth, he still knows shit and hes still capable of helping people. and becomes a Good Samaritan 

[survivorwakea]

Episode 6: “my whole entire game is built on lies” - Zack

ok so im pretty sure that if we win this challenge and if we don’t merge and my tribe wins the next immunity challenge then i will break the record for most tribal immunity wins and i think that’s pretty good and cool

also elmo?? cutest person on this earth. i now understand why he was so beloved on facebook, it’s bc he’s an angel. i love him and if he keeps being this sweet he will most definitely replace johnny as my number one in this game and that is not a joke.

________________________________________________________________

i rly am boo boo the fool huh.... tribal immunity record is for TRIBES, not people.... i NEED to be stopped before i embarrass myself any more than i already have

ok so the plan was to vote out thomas since we figured a merge was coming and like. we don’t need someone to win comps in the merge we need loyalty. and joey was just kinda the easier pick when it comes to that bc i don’t really know what thomas has going on with other people whereas joey got here and basically told us every observation he’s ever had in the game. us being me and jared. we have an alliance w jared bodhi and i and discussed expanding in the merge so it’s us, joey, anabel, johnny, and possibly elmo. yeah

anyways we didn’t merge so wig

So, last night’s tribal was kinda  frustrating. Adam was blindsided, and I was completely left in the dark by it. Justin popped into my DMs, and told me, “Thanks for voting me.” I told him we were even, since while he did get two votes, I was the one that was ultimately left in the dark on the vote. I didn’t even realize that Adam was the real plan. So in that, Zack and Chloe kinda lied to me there, but I appreciate that they apologized. I’m just worried that I’m gonna be the next to go now if we lose this challenge…

I really am so fucking heartbroken that Tommy went. Ok ya I went mental a couple days ago nd I was ready to vote him out but I think that was all a big misunderstanding. I do actually really like the guy and after the whole thing with Adam he was kinda my rock and I really really wanted to meet up with him again in the game, we were gonna be the power duo of the season and everyone was supposed to be mad about it. And now I sit here fucking upset because I lost him and now idk what to do. When merge hits tf am I supposed to do without him? Why did I have to be put on a shitting tribe with Adam and not Tommy? Fuck every single person that voted him out. My next fucking targets.

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week5/s-Tr6tW

okay so i told my tribe about my legacy advantage (except lily) and i think that im going to be FINE with it all and im not super worried about the people on my tribe, but I know im 100% playing my legacy advantage at the final twelve, which is going to be next round, but yea....... idk im definitely going to tell jared once we end up merging, and slowly but surely tell other people, but yea, we'll see..... i also know i cant vote next round so eep

im also on call with jared rn talking about personal nonsense and we're screensharing while i play poker and hes distracting me from making this confessional any longer, so yea BYE BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Pray for me at the merge

So, we lost the challenge. I’m definitely nervous, but I assume the plan is that Zack, Chloe, and I vote Justin. Zack promised to me that he would not vote for me. I’m pretty sure Chloe is good with the plan as well. They haven’t been online for a while, but hopefully, they don’t screw me twice in three nights.

i feel like all i do in this game is lie. like my whole entire game is build on lies. KDKDKDK. as soon as we lost the challenge i promised ian that i wouldn’t be voting for him. that was a lie... and for what? what’s the point of lying? idk! i lies to justin about not having the idol and pinned it on johnny having it.. straight up lied to adam and ian last round and was in a whole ass fake alliance with them.. and the list just goes on. anyway. hopefully me chloe and justin can stick together and just vote ian out of here. BUT they have been very quiet so it is a little shady... i gotta feel the situation out a little more in order to feel totally comfortable enough to not use my idol. but i have hope. anyway let’s hope this just goes smoothly and i don’t get caught up in my lies anytime soon.

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week6/s-gP0Z2

u know this round has been a lot.... but at lesat we won and then johnny's bitch ass says that he has been LYING ABOUT NOT HAVING NAYTHING!? WELL ITS OKAY BUT AT LEAST HE REVEALED IT *NOW*!

now i have justification for not telling him about my idol xoxo

im in progress of getting closer w everyone on my tribe bc i rly want this tribe to work together come merge, i think lily could be in big trouble but it doesnt serve my game to boot her immediately, there are bigger threats for me so im gonna try to protect her to my best ability! i think that this vote is gna get ian out and thats sad be he was an option for me at the merge but it is what it is.

im just excited to merge already and (hopefully) make the jury in CELESTIAL! (even tho jury wont prob start yet if we merge at f12... hm)

Trust List:

1. Joey 2. Bodhi 3. Asya 4. Anabel 5. Elmo 6. Lily 7. Ian

So...Justin just messaged me and outright said he is voting for me because I voted for him last tribal. Someone’s a little salty about Wednesday night, and I don’t know if it’s more him or me. Anyway, I guess I know who I’m voting for, then.

I'm just SICK of going to tribal, absolutely sick of it. I feel like I'm constantly clawing to stay in this game, as much as I'm proud of myself for making it this far in the game I would like one night where I can properly relax and just have a good time without having to vote out one of these people that I've created a bond with. Just once I don't want to be thinking whether I'm possibly ruining a friendship. It hurts me so much.

Just having a ball u know how it goes. Also Jonny admitted he had the legacy advantage

i told the tribe about my legacy advantage and now im mcfucked.com thanks

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Ian is voted out 3-1,

[droidmom]

some things i need

1. au where wash hadn’t been medevac’d out of somalia and would have been there to save whoever taylor couldn’t. i wanted an au where lucas never existed but without him, the characterization and dynamics of the taylor family wouldn’t be how i see them. but if both lucas and ayani could have been saved, yes things would be messy, but not as messy as whatever the fuck lucas was doing in the show. lucas dying instead wouldn’t have done anything but destroy the lives of both ayani and nathaniel so he has to live and they all get to go to terra nova by the second pilgrimage and be happy and taylor and ayani and wash can continue whatever throuple shit was going on with them pre-somalia because you cant tell me that they werent in a throuple of some fucking kind at some fucking point. anyway,

2. au where wash and taylor’s roles had been reversed in the finale. if taylor had been in the camp, lucas most likely would have killed him. tbh... that works, but let’s also pretend that that’s not the case. wash would be the one on the outside, working with her team to form a plan and attack phoenix group vehicles and get the colony back overall. i would have much preferred this to wash sulk in boylan’s for several days instead, of at the very least, forming a goddamn plan. im always going to be bitter about how she was treated in the finale because it just isn’t realistic for taylor’s trusted second in command to need newcomer jim shannon to give her a pep talk in the face of danger. i loved getting to see that side of her and her emotional low made her sacrifice more heartbreaking, but honestly none of this was necessary or in character. she would have felt hopeless but she damn well wouldn’t let that stop her from forming a fucking plan.

3. au where wash didn’t die but the season 2 plans of taylor losing his grip on sanity could still come into play. chances are, taylor facing that challenge was a long-time coming considering everything that happened with lucas and ayani, but wash’s death was probably the catalyst for it all. the one person who’d been with him since the beginning of terra nova, since somalia, since some of her earliest days in service, was gone. and now he was all alone in the center of a colony she died for. but if she didn’t die, he’s still be dealing with the whole “my son tried to kill my best friend, destroy our home, and stabbed me” thing. taylor blames himself for all of his son’s actions, im sure, and this would be no exception. i like to think that with wash at his side he could recover from anything, but somehow his judgement as leader gets impaired. but instead of jim being the one battling taylor for command, like in the season 2 plans, it would be wash. she would have to make the most tough decisions of her career and be responsible for whatever cruel fate must fall upon taylor for the safety of the colony. and then she’d have to lead in his place. 

im still bitter that jim kind of stole her job and had to be the one to talk her out of her self-pity in the finale, but this would also give the opportunity to strengthen their friendship and her friendship with elisabeth. despite the finale, i still believe that wash is a capable leader who can put her emotions aside just for a few seconds for the sake of her people. but the shannons would always be there to help when the task is too difficult. wash would be dealing with a lot, whether taylor stays alive in the brig, dies, disappears into the jungle. or recovers miraculously later on. and i know that we weren’t supposed to care about wash so much that we’d care about her as commander, but personally i would fucking love to see how she would handle this type of issue and where it would take her characterization, relationships, and the colony overall. of course i’d still want a happy ending for her and taylor, but this would still be an interesting idea to explore. 

4. there are some minor things i rly wish we’d gotten like wash and leah bonding, an exploration of the sixers history in which wash and mira dated until her betrayal, an exploration of taylor and wash’s military history and relationship with ayani (there’s one amazing fic author with like 80 fics doing this though so it’s not something i need but something i always want more of), an exploration of between-the-scenes relationship building between wash and elisabeth and wash and other characters, an exploration of wash and taylor’s development of terra nova in the early days and how they dealt with every issue and loss that arose, etc. idk why im making this all one bullet i just... have so many little desires when it comes to wash but it’s so obvious that the writer staff faced so many changes just by how her character was shelved as the season progressed. how could you make such an amazing actress, make her actress eat a literal bug, and just... neglect her at the end until killing her off. unrealistic. blocked.

5. some non-wash related desires are like, mira getting reunited with her daughter, worldbuilding with the badlands and other land around terra nova... um... i dont have a lot to say for this actually i just wanted to make it seem like i care about more than just my lord, savior, and wife lt. alicia washington and how everything connects back to her. and like... i do, but... have i mentioned i would die for wash? because i would die for wash.

6. au where terra nova got a season 2 but wash didnt die and the second season ends on a happy note with both her and taylor alive and mentally alright enough to still be in command and, most importantly, not dead. no one’s allowed to kill anyone else off unless the person who dies is lucas. lucas dying would fuck taylor up but as long as he has wash by his side this time around he can get through anything so... bye lucas! 

[landofwordsandfrogs]

FUCK IT ITS ALMOST ELEVEN PM AND IM GOING TO ASNWER THIS SHIT

i love oc stuff and have no idea how to change this bold back to normal. anyway

LETS ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT AGNES CARDOSO, FROM AUDAZ !

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

naw, but she is v close w her cousing armando. she basically raised him. <3

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like? What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

her mom and dad died when she was seven. her father was a v bland, calm person, and mostly she slept on him and watched silly tv together. her mother was louder, more excited and demanding. agnes had a lot of live up to, was demanded a lot from her mom, but overall felt like she could do it and wanted to do it and shed make her proud!

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

when she was seven, agnes was Hanging Out with aunt gabi when they got a call and aunt gabi, who never knew how to act with children, just took agnes with her. when they arrived at the place and agnes got out of the car, she saw both her parents dead and bloody in the street, along with another woman and two boys, while a crying vampire sat in the middle of all this. he begged her aunt to kill him, and she did.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

hmmmm. her cellphone would be in her pocket, cept its perpetually GLUED to her hand instead. pack of cigarettes and lighter. wallet, keys to her bike.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams? Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

agnes has like crazy insomnia, doesnt rly remember dreams and stuff. mostly about vampires, and blood, and killing vampires, and not being able to wash the blood off her hands.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

oh boy. yes agnes has about a million guns and shoots them a lot, bc shes a vampire hunter. first target was a feral vampire.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

naw. being part of an olden Hunting Family that basically runs an entire town gives a person TREMENDUOUS financial security.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

more clothing. agnes’ jacket is her armor.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

well, when she was seven, and she saw her parents dead on the hot alphalt. nothing would ever get to her while mommy and daddy were with her, except something did.

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

well. agnes state of being is Stress, so. when she was < 7 yo ?? rofl

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

not rly. its just that she cant get it out of her hands. its everywhere. she tries to wash it away, she does.

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

both? neither? agnes is perpetually surrounded by a bunch of people from the family and the city and her subordinates and the visiting Families and the neighboring Nest of vampires, so sheS GOTTA remember people.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

naw, see financial security above. mostly agnes has her jacket and her boots and her bike. shes got an entire wing inside the House but its very spartan. mostly empty. she doesnt have time to go out and buy things, much less decoration, doesnt have time for hobbies. in the beginning and middle of the story anyway

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

iddealize? happiness. success is her middle name; shes the second of the cardoso hunting family and extremely competent; if the position werent by blood, she’d become head in the future anyway. but happiness?

agnes is unhappy. its something that she knows she wont achieve.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

aw man idk. doesnt strike me as much of a “carries plushie around” child or anything

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

hm. wisdom? ambition is cool, but mostly she feels like people can do what they want if they put enough effort in it. but shes extremely aggravated by slow or non-practical people, so i guess. wisdom ? so

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

ah. ags is like. Extremely Practical. will argue incessantly forever when she thinks shes right, of course this is the right thing to do. also, she tends to take responsability for everything. everything. if the sun explodes agnes will be out in the backyard watching the explosion thikning, but i could have done something i should have noticed the sun was shining differently i should have tried to evacuate people etc etc etc

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

compare? agnes doesnt compare herself to much, cept maybe her aunt, who she thinks is too dramatic and should be more practical like her so things would run more smoothly

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

takes responsabilty for everything even things that were literally impossibe for her to be at fault or know about at all.

What does your character like in other people?

she lieks people who understand her quielty and dont crowd her. she likes people who dont dance around stuff. she likes people who make things seem a little simpler, life a little less heavy.

What does your character dislike in other people?

being too dramatic. being prejudiced pricks. being too violent.

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

shell trust people with what theyve proven to her they can be trusted, no less no more.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

everyone is kinda sketchy until they prove themselves somehow. id say shes loyal to people who prove themselves to her, but honestly people are more loyal to her than she to them.

How does your character behave around children?

is never really around them? is friendly, tries to be nice? ultimately doesnt much know what to do. 

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

shes the boss and youll do what shes fucking telling you to do.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

they get a warning that a punch is coming, and then a punch will come.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

nothing, really. agnes grew knowig that she’d be head after her mother, and then after her mom died she knew shed be the head after her aunt.

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

huh. ok, one thing i dont know.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

its evening and shes in beatrices house. theres sunlight, and a breeze, and bia is planting flowers or collecting her berries or pulling out weeds. agnes is sitting by the big tree. their dogs are around them. theres nothing too pressing demanding that they go out and do things for a moment.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

uncomfortable? hm. having to pretend to be Hetero

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

defensive and willing to improve. she did the right thing and youre wrong and now shes going to do an even better thing and youll be even wronger.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

you move on. you move on and on and on until something works, because something will have to work, and we’ll have to deal until we get there.

How does your character behave around people they like?

nicknames. dry humor. smokes in their faces. being quiet in the same room.

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

depends. if its some subordinate or something like that, she wont hide. be better. she wants more from you, and youre an asshole. if it someone more “Important”, shell be polite, but mostly monosyllabic.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

uh, neither? as i said, status is kinda garanteed. kinda. and honor? she knows shes a black sheep. shes got too different beliefs from everyone around her. all she can do is what she can do, and it will have to be enough.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

The problem will leave because she has no time for this shit.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

do feral vampires count. shes been bitten by them several times. many scars

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

politely. theyre doing their jobs, which is something she respects. everyones got a job to do.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

you must earn it, and even then you might not get it, and you have to live with this.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

well, theres her uncle-by-marriage uncle al? so i gues him. he and her aunt took care of her after her parents died.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

SPOILER ALERT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yep in epilogue she kinda adopts two teens, a 15 yo and a 16 yo. kinda. mostly they live w her and bia and theyre more or less reponsible fo them.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

she doest say it without meaning it bc whats the point? doesnt feel the need to say it all that much, isnt a very touchy or romantic person. shell say if the person asks, or is the person says that they’d like to hear it more or smth.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

life starts and ends and that is that, and we have to do what we can while we are here.

[smurfettte]

💎✖️️💕🍳🍭😂

DOTT IM SO SORRY I JUST SAW THIS TY

Im still using sm*rf bc i dont want it to show up in the tags its annoying and im sry

💎 - when and how did you discover your special interest?

Ooh this goes way back.

Well, when i was about nine my parents first seperated (they did twice, ultimately getting divorced 2nd time around) for a period of two years, and during that time we had very, very little money because my mom was a stay at home mom for years and had to get a job too, so we basically had to cut, like, everything/anything extra that we didnt need. The best my mom could do so we didnt get a total shock on top of everything was to get us the smallest cable package possible (im pretty sure it was way cheaper back then too, idk if even that would be manageable now) where we had just like, a little cluster of channels; one of those was boomerang. I was really, really sad about loosing cartoon network, so my mom hyped me up about being able to watch sm*rfs, even though i only had a very vague idea of what they were. From there, it kind of just became my permanent special interest. My mom and i watched it together a lot since her mom played into the really strange christian propaganda of “demonizing” cartoons that was everywhere in the 80s when she grew up. She would bribe her brother not to rat her out when she would sneak-watch it on saturday mornings and tbh that would literally be me

✖ - Is there something you Dont like about your special interest?

Definitely. The author of the original comics was uh… a really sexist, probably racist and a homophobic guy. Which, really shows in his earlier works – the full sm*rfette story is honestly much worse than the concepts of her origin that were kept in the cartoon. The 80s retelling is basically the comic but heavily censored for over obviously sexist content, while still being sexist in itself (just in a way where, maybe for younger viewers or a blind eye, its not obvious at first). Honestly just the treatment of most of the female characters is my complaint in the way a lot of them are portrayed, but especially sm*rfette. She cant do one self indulgent thing for herself without it being ridiculed or often portrayed as wrong, even when shes like the smartest and most caring person in the village. Its annoying and not a good message at all.

Also, it tries to be written as insanely het all the time and just isnt. Like its so gay and theres so many moments where youre like “ppl really tried to pass this as het…bitch” but time and time again… straight people think its reasonable that an entire village is attracted to. a single person (who most of the time heavily shys away from affection from men too, lmfao…). REALLY hoping the new movie addresses that in some way thats not bad, but im trying not to get my hopes up (ive got my hopes up).

💕 - Something you like about your Special Interest?

Honestly this is a lot of things, but i would have to say?? Like. Everything, except the things i dont like ^. Its constantly been such a comfort to me in so many ways. I love the characters, i love how it was my first real introduction to fairytale fantasy (aside from disney) and its just… so calming. Some people find it boring and annoying, but for me it was so easy to fall in love with and kept me company/calmed me down during some of the worst times ive ever had. Even when some of those worst times were because people would make fun of me for loving it.

🍳 - do you have a stim related to your special interest?

In a few ways, yea! I do!

I always compare it to this, but i think being surrounded in things related to it is a kind of visual stim that relates to the old woman who wants most everything in her house to be green. Just as it makes her feel calm, happy, and energetic, i have the same expirience but i sm*rf theme as many things as i can, and collect ALOT. I try to be surrounded by it as much as possible, and it always helps me to feel happy and calm. If im not in a space where its all around, i’ll have sm*rf things that i use day to day, like my wallet, cups, things like that. It always provides a feeling of happiness and safety.

Another for a physical stim is that i have a sm*rfette themed slime that one of my best friends made me for christmas! (He made a little white hat to put over the lid too, it was so sweet). Its a glittery blue, and has lots of gold, blue, and flower shaped sequins in it! i love squishing gooey and squeezable stuff. Textures like that are the best ever.

🍭- a headcanon/theory you have about your special interest?

This is gonna be long and im sorry i talk so much, but Brainy, Grouchy, Clumsy, and Fette (so i dont have to block out the full word again) are all autistic!

- Brainy expiriences a lack of empathy, tends to micromanage more than one usually would (especially if one of his special interests are involved/its something he came up with himself) and, as mentioned, expiriences special interests (a need for worldly knowledge – especially of magic, and for papa, who he constantly seeks to impress and be respected by, no matter what it takes. He loves him and wants to be just like him, and often does things for him out of the blue just so he’ll appreciate and recognize him + his potential). He stims by chewing (probably with the handle of a wand) and by writing + drawing swirly doodles on paper with his quill pen. He infodumps, and he usually lacks an understanding of social cues; this often leads to him making “bad decisions” being highly ridiculed, often overshadowed by his peers.

- Clumsy does not quickly process information + events, his comfort object(s) is/are his continuously growing rock collection/garden that he waters and talks to everyday, he stims by flapping and jumping, and is very uncoordinated. There are often ‘simple’ things that confuse him that he is unable to figure out quickly (like putting together things that fold up - chairs, foldable tables where u have to specifically press something, stuff like that. I think its an autistic thing even though im not able to describe it very well since ive struggled w it all my life myself and i always get weird looks when i cant do it) and his special interest is Brainy. Because he is physically incoordinated and processes information slow, though people do stick up for him, he can often recieve even worse treatment from those around him than Brainy does, on top of being easily able to manipulate due to him being so easily trusting and loving. Because of this, him and Brainy often do everything together, and eventually their mutual love for each other + relatability brings them to be almost inseperable (even if Brainy looses his patience more than he should sometimes). aka theyre boyfriends it rly shows

- Fette struggles with anxiety (as alot of autistic people, like myself, do) and has hyper-empathy. Similar to Clumsy, Fette seeks comfort in her flower garden and flowers in general, often holding conversations with them. This actually is a real theory, but she believes that talking to the flowers will help them to grow, and cherishes them as if they were people. She knows the name of every flower in the forest and could tell you at LEAST 5 facts about every single one. She stims by flapping, jumping, and chewing on her hair. Fette is quick to act to situations whether good or bad, and raised voices from others can often send her towards a meltdown (in where she retreats to her house for solitude to calm down + renergize). Though she loves her friends and being with them, she is an introvert and enjoys being by herself or with her flowers to regain energy.

- Grouchy uses echolalia to express his emotions and partake in conversations, while being mostly nonverbal. He often seeks company in animals or baby sm*rf (who i believe is also his special interest) because they bring him comfort and dont ask him to explain or change who he is. He is often very distant from most people, and only opens up to being around people he feels he can trust.

😂 - something funny about your special interest?

It just made me type up like. Disorganized paragraphs when im supposed to be packing up my shit 2 go to my moms. Also just the idea that a whole village could be attracted to a single person and no one else… funnie as shit my guy

[virginia-werewoolf]

Hi hello ive decided im gna rant abt something else thats been bothering me as of late and its this one girl im (or used to be??) friends with

Basically ive known abt her for a few years now bc we went to the same middle and high school and ive always thought she was so cool and wanted to be her friend and finally when me and my bf jarod broke up last yr after dating for 2 years (probably my only legitimate heartbreak so far ??) my whole life was kinda flipped upside down and i had to find friends lest i go crazy !! Since he was rly my only friend that whole time and i was so horribly depressed when we broke up so i really started trying to be her friend and we didnt hang out all that much but when we did it was so nice and i felt as tho we rly connected !!! And wed message each other a lot and it just really felt like we had a mutual appreciation for each other and that was so nice because i honestly adored her. Anyway in january i was sorta talkin to this guy that i had heard she had a thing with in the past (like a year ago) so when she messaged me abt it i figured the rumor was true & asked if it was cool if we talked, and she said yeah & that they had only spoken for like a day !! I asked a couple more times just to be sure but she kept saying that they never really even had a thing and i believed her. Im not sure if she had said things like this before all this but after the fact i started noticing her tweeting abt someone who was basically copying everything she did by saying that she had an ~identity thief~ and that she wasnt sure if she should warn the dude she was talking to ??? And im a really anxious person so the timing of these tweets kinda put me on edge but not too badly bc i genuinely thought we were good friends !! And i thought she was so cool and down to earth. Plus a couple of times she would tweet something that basically served as a reply to a tweet i had tweeted recently but im a way where she was sort of trying to 1-up me ??? Which raised my suspicions even more but eventually she tweeted something else contributing to that whole narrative and promptly blocked afterwards so i was like ok i guess it was abt me!! Which REALLY hurt just bc i had no clue what she was going off of, when i messaged her to check what was going on she denied it but has kept me blocked since ??? So i find it hard to believe those were never abt me. It just sucks!! Because ive literally only copied her once in the way we decorated our senior crowns and i remember asking her if i could do the same thing as her and she was SO enthusiastic abt me also doing it !! She even offered to let me have her own (bc shes a yr older than me) and i sent her pics of the whole process of me making it and she was so excited abt it!! I didnt see why shed turn on me for that when i started talking to a boy she liked in the past when i told her multiple times in the conversation we had about it that i didnt want it to affect our friendship and that she could tell me if shed rather me not !! But really its just a bummer bc she was one of the few people that really helped me out of the rut that was my first heartbreak and even if we didnt see each other tons, i was really planning to because i loved her and felt like she was rly one of my people!!! So it sucks that she turned on me like that for something so miniscule. I eventually asked the boy abt her and he said they had talked longer than just a day and i just dont see why she had to lie abt it bc i wouldve been so understanding!! I even apologized to her a ton for not just asking whether they had a thing or not b4 she messaged me abt it - but he was honestly just a good friend to me i didnt have crazy feelings for him or anything and so this all couldve been avoided!!but i cant really trust her anymore even if she ever wanted to be my friend again ??? But i guess thats unlikely and thats just the kind of person she is :(