#and now i have to worry about being down €80 /and/ the probability of losing my student rights bc they're apparently

[mishkakagehishka]

Enrolments started on sept 9th and last until sept 25th and despite having an exam i still hadn't passed, i started my process on sept 9th, thinking "paying the €80 ects fee will not be as bad as sending my documents on the 19th and hoping the notoriously slow-working office in my college will finish processing them within four work days". So, you know, I essentially paid €80 to make sure i still have the right to subsidised meals and public transport, and health insurance, which is esp important to me now that i have a lot of lab work and a damn mri in my future. So tell me why the fuck they still haven't processed my documents and have me officially enrolled.

What's important is that they raised the enrollment fee by double, though, obviously their incredible work ethic and speed, not to mention the career opportunities in the humanities and social sciences in this day and age, justify that decision

[maplesyrupbloodfeud]

Genuinely enjoying Everyone’s In LA. 80s + 00s Adult Swim vibes. Absolutely adore how they made a point to say ‘murder is bad’ for the neopuritans out there while showing how ridiculous having to do so is in reality. Laughed probably too hard at John saying, “structure is important for me.”

I think it’s a real step forward for Mulaney as an artist and comedian. His commentary and style are becoming more clear and pointed without losing the charm and honesty he laid the groundwork for in his last special. My main criticism of that special was that it wasn’t the set he could make, but the set he had to make. Now, he’s reaping the rewards.

Back to the show at hand:

The live format and callback to late night hosts of old add an authenticity that i think Americans are hungry for. It very much reads as (mostly) unscripted where sometimes jokes don’t hit very well and sometimes technology fails. Also, the guests are obviously free to say whatever so there are some slightly uncomfortable moments that John does an excellent job pivoting from. But I think all of that’s a good thing. The American audience is so used to seeing media that feels made in a lab with all of the research boiled down to exactly what most people will spend money on. Failing something on live tv in an obviously unplanned scenario feels human in a way AI and the current MCU could never obtain.

What’s most impressive is that Mulaney and those involved with the production (including guests!) have somehow figured out the formula of what we’ve missed about earlier media while also being modern, relevant, and actually funny. All without seeming like any board of directors or agent is micromanaging the content.

Only the first episode is out but, based on it, I very much recommend watching the rest. “Something someone just out of rehab would make” indeed (complement).

Note: I say all this as someone who’s been in similar positions with the mental health system as Mulaney, is now becoming a therapist, and understands how fucking hard it is to “get better”. Also, I don’t keep up with celeb drama. I got enough shit to worry about. This is about THE ART (/hot iron giant guy) … also it’s about how I had been in a mental health/rehab facility before Mulaney went public on his own struggles and had never seen a popular celebrity talk about life events similar to mine. So I paid more attention to this than I normally would.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

The 1950s

1950s were a big turnover like many other decades before and after and continue to be so. Such as one is over the top., gracious big bold, logos, intensity, blunt, colourful, and brassy almost, when you think of this most of us of our generation would think of the 2000s and the 210s and the shift of the two this 10 period cycle, well actually it’s a 20 year cycle if you really think about it coming in and out of fashion maybe 15 at the most, so you’ve got the 1940s where the war is still going up until 45 where is the, black-and-white even in the movie signals this?, we were invented somehow that had the money to, people like Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Paul Newman and Robert Redford.

Hollywood and these times does this to these women? It mainly does it to the women it torment them torches them it will give them somebody who is their double., they understudy but tell them how amazing that other person is and that they wouldn’t reject these kind of office so why are you when they are deep into their career and they have given us everything of themselves? They are about down to bound to be a tad bit angry and the funny, narcissism does this to us? It thinks oh it won’t be me. I’ll never feel that way about somebody before me such as Marilyn Monroe probably never thinking she would feel like Joanne Crawford did about her who were up and coming., as a woman, you must be dignified but not too dignified to the point of you coming across arrogant, you must be flirty but never a slut, you must have virgin like quality but don’t be too virginal, age gracefully but don’t be ugly, why don’t you lose a few pounds but don’t get too skinny.

All these things are absolute recipe for disaster, and monsters the real monsters of the people behind these acts of making people feel this way the talent agents the executives, the managers the people who these companies the nepotism, allot it .

The difference in these decades like the 80s and the 90s grunge versus hair metal heroine versus cocaine, two different kinds of things in all of these things I’ve listed above so what are we due for next to me?, the 210s were rather over the top but also subtle so when it comes to our next decade that’s coming up with making it subtle bit again, so these women are men the men had it in the way the homosexual ones anyway they weren’t allowed to be open with their sex, point where they would make these men marry women while they had a life on the side which couldn’t be publicised which couldn’t be shown, I even said to my boyfriend if we break up, I want to marry a gay man, the way gay men treat women, and I hate to make sweeping statements and I seem to a lot. I seem to write like that energies sometimes.

But I love the beauty of sees a woman and her straight man never could. , this decade of the 50s bought us the Marilyn Monroe of her absolute peak, her beautiful presence versatile and face, even though she was even one he got bullied by Louis Mayer, the company, to the point I think he even called her his little chinless wonder, bullying tactics, it worked in the 2000s with Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, where do they stay? These women go back, they’ve made up a bit now because they’re both mothers, I dread to imagine what kind of mother might be with her addiction issues sorry I’m an addict myself and it worries mate maybe it was a blessing, disguise have children?, like not to be able to have children it’s horrible. Your life ends up becoming an addiction disaster if you’re not stable enough.m and men who don’t treat you right, children are a blessing and if you have them count yourself lucky every day, do I think abortions bad, I don’t if you’re not in the right place to have a child then you shouldn’t.

This is comparing all the decades having very similar ways and if you look at it, you’ll see,. one thing I didn’t like was Jane Mansfield think the woman had much class, especially when it came to Monroe she played into the image of being exactly like her, to me it’s a shame they didn’t play into her being probably mixed cause I think she is. and by no means do I mean blackface but make them more darker? Dark hair? Lipstick et cetera, but they had to do a copy of, king size Monroe call her, and she was she lived, Monroe hated it and if you can see some of these pictures she copied it, was is Mansfield love being Monroe as Monro didn’t.

[everybody-loves-purdy]

A criticism I saw someone give for Ivypool's Heart was it just seems like a series of Quick time events

Some criticisms were just because it is a traveling book.

Then you obviously have the criticisms about Ivypool being rude to Dove

(You know despite this book being about her learning to deal with her grief)

This one is more worry but I have seen some people worried about indigenous coding of the wild cats

Though one criticism was like Galestar intermingling and speeding up the endangeredness of the wildcats

Comparing it to indigenous erasure

One criticism I kinda agree with is that some of the characters were flat but like we see them for a short time so of course they'd be flat

Then just people not liking Stormclan

The quick time events thing I do get, it did sometimes feel like “do thing then move on” but given how the warriors community do not like travelling books on the whole I feel that specifically may have been a lose-lose situation with the Erins (especially since it’s got criticism just for being a travelling book anyway,). It was a little jarring for me but I didn’t mind it personally, I get why it would bother people though.

The Ivypool and Dovewing stuff I’ve made a few posts on before and thankfully that seemed to die down mostly before the book was released.

Ok so about the wildcats. I absolutely cannot comment on the indigenous coding allegations as I am not indigenous. However, the thing about Galestar and her kids intermingling. I have full faith that was done to directly reference how no Scottish wildcats are genetically “pure” as it were. All Scottish wildcats (to our knowledge) have domestic cat DNA in them thanks to hybridising with domestic cats. This seems to have mainly begun about 70 years ago, which tracks for the kind of timeline you would expect Galestar to have come across the wildcats (I would say since SkyClan were still in the forest you’re probably looking at this whole affair happening anywhere between 50-80 years ago ish). So this does mean that the Scottish wildcat is, in a way, effectively extinct. (Although there is hope to reintroduce genetically “pure” populations thanks to selective breeding and gene mapping).

Here’s a pretty good article I found on the whole thing.

But yeah to go back to warrior cats. There is no doubt in my mind that is what was being directly referenced here. The similarities to indigenous erasure is just unfortunate coincidence I feel.

Characters being flat is a subjective thing I can’t really comment on that, if you feel that the characters were flat then fine, if you don’t then also fine.

If you don’t like StormClan then fine, it really does come out of left field and I can easily see why opinions would be divided on such a big lore drop/retcon. But I’ve seen so many people not like them but they haven’t read the book and have gone off of the opinions of others or from reading summaries. To that I will say. I think people should read the books themselves before casting full judgement on something. Obviously an opinion can be formed without reading the book but I think full context is always important. For example, when I first read summaries of AVOS before reading the books themselves I hated the concept of Darktail! I thought he was forced in and a pathetic excuse to conjure up another Tigerstar. Then I actually read the books and my entire perspective changed. The story was the same but since the way it was delivered to me was different, so was my opinion. Now I love Darktail so much, he’s my second favourite warriors cat character. You could always read the books and then still hold the same opinion, but at least you know that opinion is fully informed.

[justalittlesolarpunk]

Hi there! I'm writing this in hopes that you'll have some advice. Lately I've been struggling a lot with concern for climate change. Mainly because I fear that I won't have a future, that when I'm older I'll live in a planet where you can't even go out because of the heat and everything is completely destroyed. And it's been affecting my day-to-day life. And no matter how much I try to avoid bad news they'll show up to me and I relapse into the anxiety and lose all the progress I made.

The bad news and the things that are happening (for example this thing going around of flowers growing in cold places, the one that probably worries me the most) make me feel like maybe the good things won't be enough and I won't have a future, no matter how much I hope. All I want is to be certain I'll have a life and things will get better

Do you have any advice to stop feeling this way? Thank you in advance!

Hi there. So firstly, thanks for reaching out. Anxiety can make us want to isolate ourselves and so you’ve taken a brave first step in seeking connection. I felt like you feel for a long time, and still do sometimes. It can feel like the change is so huge, so rapid, so irreversible, and human responses so weak, so slow, so apathetic. But I’m here to tell you that however reasonable being frightened is, it doesn’t have to be the end of the journey. Grief and fear are a good start for your environmental affect, because it means you’re keyed in and you care. But stopping there will only paralyse you.

I know the good things feel small, which is why it’s important to bombard yourself with them so you get a sense of just how much momentum we are building in the movement right now. I regularly check out Positive News and the Good News Network, and follow Sam Bentley and lots of ‘weekly earth win’ type accounts. When you see how much plastic people are clearing out of the ocean, how much solar and wind prices have come down, how Paris is now full of cyclists and London’s deaths from air pollution are reducing, how Europe is slowly rewilding and land is being returned to indigenous people, you realise that quietly, determinedly, good is happening in the background. And you aren’t always not seeing it just because it’s smaller or less important - bear in mind that the media sells on engagement, so attention-grabbing disasters will always hit front page news. It’s hard to quantify people who are alive who wouldn’t otherwise be, oil in the ground because people stopped a pipeline. Justice is often less hypervisible and sudden than injustice.

For me personally, taking action and spending time with others who are doing the same is the single biggest thing that cured a lot of my anxiety. Depending on your age, income, profession and health, I would recommend doing whatever is accessible to you of eating as much plant-based food as possible, reducing your use of aeroplanes and cars to as close to zero as is reasonable, making sure your stove, heating and hot water is being powered by electricity, switching to a renewable tariff, attending regular activist meetings and the protests and public debates these will lead you into, buying fewer clothes, single-use plastic items and other non-essentials, lobbying for change at your workplace, your university or your school, and bringing the subject up as often as you can with friends and family, so discussing climate change becomes more of a cultural norm. (I always find with these conversations though that scaring people is deeply counterintuitive and encourages them to get angry with you and bury their heads deeper in the sand. Why not start a conversation about how much healthier you feel when you eat lentils, or how transnational rail is making a comeback, or how exciting it is what they can do with solar and battery storage these days, or the amazing flood prevention benefits of reintroducing beavers?) I saw a tweet once that said ‘I bet 80% of your climate anxiety will disappear if you work full time on climate.’ Now I don’t work in that sphere yet, but I’m currently retraining, and I have to say a lot of my anxiety has quietened knowing that I am doing all I can and will continue to do so for the rest of my working life. And don’t feel like your skills or educational/professional background hold you back either: solving this crisis isn’t just for scientists and can’t be left to only one sector of society. I was an English Lit grad - now I’m hoping to work in campaigning, comms or social policy to make positive change for the better around climate. If it’s possible for you, I’d recommend starting to consider entering the green sector full time. Just watch out for corporate greenwash!

I know that changing your individual lifestyle isn’t going to save the planet, but it might just save you. Once you feel you have done everything you can in your personal life, it might embolden you to show up in activist spaces, to connect with other people who care, and to remember that as terrifying and agonising as the changes we are causing and witnessing are, there is always still hope, and it is easy to create and nurture that hope if you only keep hold of the right narratives and connect with the right people.

I’ve answered some similar asks on this sort of topic, so I’d recommend scrolling back through my blog and reading them, and also following as many solarpunks as you can across all of social media. Solarpunk Presents podcast does a good job of drawing your attention to the good stuff already happening now. Stay safe, take care of yourself and remember you have so much to offer. We were all born at the most pivotal time in human history. That is a burden, but it’s also a gift. We can have the most impactful and meaningful lives to date, and I think we will. But the fight has to start now, and that means we have to be ready for it. You can’t strive for a better tomorrow if you can’t imagine it, so take some time to look after you and really douse yourself in hope and optimism - it’s out there waiting to be found, if you only look in the right places.

[princeanxious]

Hi! I was wondering about your Lost Guardian au from ages ago, do you think you’ll ever plan on updating it and if not, could someone else take up the fic?

So heres the thing. If someone wants to write a fic *inspired* by The Lost Guardian, i’m not gonna stop them, and i’d probably feel super honored so long as the inspiration was correctly credited!

As for ‘taking up the fic,’ the short answer is no.

I have active drafts and the rest of the story already planned out to its finish, notes, even a branch-off fic set post-story that will likely go up on my nsfw blog if i ever get around to editing it. The Lost Guardian hasn’t been abandoned, it’s simply on hiatus. (And yes, i recognize 3 almost 4 years so far is a really fucking long hiatus. The Chapter 9 draft doc was made in december of 2020, and last edited in July 2022)

I started writing that fic whilst still in highschool, a time where I was 17 and didnt have to worry yet about getting my license or maintaining a part time job, i had an over abundance of freetime even partially to my detriment, the fandom was booming and I had plenty of feedback, and this fic was (and still *is*) a story im proud of.

But i’m 22 now, working a full time job to pay rent and account for a number of minor ‘disabilities’(best word i have for them atm) that I cant ignore or push to the side nor treat poorly, from the lasting effects on my body of stunted growth to celiac/glutent intolerance to adhere to that directly determines how easily my body functions for the week, to dealing with glasses i cannot afford to break and taking care of teeth i cannot afford to fix, taking care of my mental health and using the free time i have to do what brings me the most joy at that time.

The sanders sides fandom has heavily quieted down with the season finale hiatus and I’d like to think I did pretty well for going six long years dedicated solely to that without cracking under the silence, because *I knew* when I caved to something else it’d be a long while before I had the drive to come back with any sort of resolution to my active works. Thats just how my hyper fixations work. I cannot focus on multiple at once, it’s too much to process simultaneously and takes away my enjoyment bc I tend to watch/consume things repeatedly to catch every little detail i missed. And it doesn’t help when one loses steam because their content barely breaks 100 notes(80% of which are likes, 15% are reblogs with the occasional comment, and 5% are self-reblogs) when back in the height of it all, a few thousand notes was pretty average interaction. This blog still has about 11.5k followers, almost all of which came from the height of the fandom period. So for now i’ve moved onto the FNAF DCA fandom, bc it is fresh and new to me.

I know you didn’t mean to poke the bear here, I get it, but like.. C’mon. Any other fic of mine likely wouldn’t have gotten the same reaction in full but, still. I’ve had to answer this question a handful of times over the years at the point, which might be why this response feels so charged, and i’m sorry.

I don’t mean to come off as snippy or rude, but it *is* kind of invasive to offer to finish one’s creative work when it’s taking too long and theres very little payback for it. I’ve got adhd, delayed satisfaction isn’t a thing I experience. Just guilt that it wasn’t finished in a way for me to post it in time before I broke and lost all motivation to share it.

In my head, TLG has been long finished and held the ending for years, theres just been no energy to put in the effort of finish writing it for others to read. I’m still trying to get my life together to change that, don’t get me wrong, but the American economy is literally in shambles so who knows how or even if i’ll manage that. Call me selfish for being content with only mentally having my creative story’s ending and a collection of rambles and notes to show for it, but at the end of the day, it’s still my story, and i dont feel comfortable with people trying to ‘take up the mantle’ to finish it, when they don’t know how it ends.

I’m glad you like it enough to want to, though, I really *really* am. I’m just sorry I haven’t been able to finish it for you all. And i just don’t know when that will be, I just know that I *want* to do so, however long it takes.

[casualevan]

New To Superman?

*Swivels around in villain chair petting a cat

So, you just caught up with My Adventures with Superman and you want to know what to read or watch while you wait for new episodes? SAY NO MORE! Here’s a list of personal faves of mine!  Now some notes, different writers have different takes in different decades and the publishers can play it fast and lose with continuity. So going from one story to another, you might notice some changes. Like weather or not Clark’s parents are alive or if Lois dating Clark etcetera etcetera. Don’t worry about it, just roll with it.

Now lets get started with THE SUPER LIST! 

Superman: Birthright 

A solid starting point graphic novel. It’s got everything ya need for his origin story and is a fantastic character study of Clark and his arch enemy Lex Luthor. The art is pretty good as well and does a great job of showing both sides of Clark’s character and power. If you love the show and want to see how the books handle the Man of Steel’s first run in Metropolis then you got yourself a fun book.

Next we’ll get into some movies! Now, you can watch most of these on hbomax so let’s all vote with our wallets and support the official release! That way studios don’t make us wait ANOTHER 20 years for a Superman cartoon. 

Superman: Unbound 

Superman faces a cosmic alien super computer named Brainiac! Braniac’s deal is he wants to put cities in small bottles and then blow up the rest of the planet he collects them from. It’s a cool conflict cuz it’s a villain Superman can’t just PUNCH into submission. As Braniac can just download into another body if he did. So Superman is gonna have to get super smart to out smart a super computer..... listen the movie’s writing is better than mine, trust me.

Superman Vs The Elite

Oh, here we GO! Okay so this full movie is based on ONE issues of the comics. ONE. Not a 6 part mini series arc collected into one trade paperback. ONE COMIC! It was THAT GOOD! Superman meets some new heroes on the block, THE ELITE. They’re GRITTY and DARK and SERIOUS ANTI HEROES who aren’t afraid to KILL the bad guys! They’re also here to try and force Superman to retire his wholesome way of saving the day. This movie has amazing action animation and phenomenal writing that shows why the core character of Clark being kind still resonates with audiences when given the chance. (You’ve probably seen the big speech from this movie passed around youtube a lot and rightly so. This is a good one, go watch it!) Now, Superman has one of the all time iconic origin stories, but how does his story end? Well lots of writers have tried their hands at it. A few of them are good but my personal fave is probably ALL STAR SUPERMAN

Lex Luthor finally finds a way to beat Superman, but Clark isn’t going down without a fight and without saving as many lives as he can. It’s a grand all star parade of all the wild and wacky pulp adventure camp that has built up around the legacy of the Last Son of Krypton. If you want a satisfying conclusion to Superman’s story then it’s hard to top this one. Heck the book is also pretty damn good too! 

There is... a LOT of Superman content. 80 years worth to be exact. This list is far from complete and is only meant to serve as a starting point for diving into all this Super Lore. I for one am glad My Adventures With Superman seems to have lit a fire under the fanbase and I’m happy to welcome all you new readers and watchers to one of my all time favorite Superheroes.  HONERABLE MENTIONS! 

SUPERMAN SMASHES THE KLAN! It’s exactly what the title says. Go read it! It’s inspired by the old school radio show (podcasts for your grandparents) that had REAL WORLD IMPACTS in the USA. 

Finally, the 40′s Cartoons

These are a BIT dated and light on actual plot and character but there’s a retro charm to some of these.  Okay, That’s enough from me. What are YOUR top recommendations for new fans? Let me know in the reblogs! 

[lazaruspiss]

So, I'm writing a long fanfic based around the characterizations of the various Bats in the 80s-00s time frame, and Nightwing is gonna be important but I don't have a good grasp of his personality yet. I'm currently reading through The Resurrection of Ras Al Ghul, but that and a few of the 2016 issues are all I've got to go off of right now.

Do you have any comics you'd recommend for getting a good grasp of his personality and general vibes?

I'd also be happy to read any kind of ramble about his personality/appeal you feel like writing. Having read your fanfiction I feel like (sincere compliment:) you are the exact kind of unhinged I want to get character opinions from.

(Also you mentioned Dick being in the mob which sounds Very Fun and I wanna know what titles so I can read that)

-redhoodinternaldialectical on anon cause sideblog

ok first of all. im flattered. i feel so powerful rn.

and second of all... my 'to read' list is embarrassingly long, and dick's been around and in a lot of comics so i have a lot of trouble keeping up ;-; but i will try my best!!

The New Teen Titans gets recommended a lot as a starting point for Dick as Nightwing, and while i havent read much of it, the stuff i have read has been pretty solid and i get why its so popular.

Nightwing 1996 is my personal go to comic for Dick, mainly bc it was his first real solo run. (it's often listed as "volume 2" of nightwing, but volume 1 aka Nightwing 1995 was really more of a test drive just to see if they should make a Nightwing solo series) It's also where Dick joins the mob! although that came off the tail end of a lot of different plot points.

(This is a bit unrelated, but in general I think knowing a bit of irl context to certain comic events is important. Like, at one point Bludhaven is nuked off the map. It doesn't make sense, and it was most likely due to some higher up DC nonsense. And Nightwing 1996's second annual is written by a man. etc etc.)

... I actually have a guide I've been working on, main reasons being quick reference for what happens where, and that writing these things down helps me remember them better

as you can probably tell, I still have a ways to go. looking at this now i'm starting to realize that i am really down bad for him lol

Mobbed Up (where Dick gets adopted by a random mob boss who took one look at his depressed mug as he was getting fired from the police force and said "new son?") is issues #107-111

I feel like I should get back to character thoughts.

Dick on his own is deeply serious, he has a job to do and it's incredibly important that he does it right. In the beginning this serves as an invaluable asset, but as he loses more people it starts to turn into more destructive. A trait that is morphed by his traumas into obsessiveness.

Dick when Tim comes to visit (or just when he's around people he cares about) is a bit softer, it's subtle, but it shows that he's aware of/cares for the people around him.

Dick with Bruce around seems to worry so much about proving himself, about being seen as a respectable peer, that it backfires into making him come off more insecure and as a bit of a "rebellious teen". (which is exactly what he's trying to avoid when he strikes out on his own) I've read various arcs and issues but I haven't actually read any focused on Dick and Bruce aside from the ones towards the beginning, so I'm sure their relationship must change, but this is how they were when Dick had first moved to Blud.

I feel like Bludhaven is also important to talk about. It's very much meant to be "Gotham, but worse". It's a place that even Batman wouldn't bother with, a place beyond saving. I'm... kind of breaking my own heart, thinking about how much Dick put into this city, only to. To fail? In a sense? A hero's home city isn't usually obliterated like that. The only other example that comes to mind is Hal Jordan's, and Hal literally went insane and became a space terrorist to bring it back. Dick is just... forced to move on.

And Dick goes back to NYC. Nightwing patrolling Gotham with any regularity feels very modern. He shows up when there's a major event and DC wants to capitalize on having a bunch of names in the same series, and he shows up when something drastic changes (like a new robin, or a death). Dick has however spent a lot of time in NYC, either because of the Titans or because. yknow. home go boom.

Anyways. Arc recs. Unironically I need you to read Brothers in Blood. Get past the initial gross out factor of Tentatodd and it's a great look at Jason and Dick's relationship. This is #118-122 and right after Bludhaven gets nuked. Dick has just experienced the lowest lows that one could low. Jason seems to know all about it, and tries to help in the worst way possible. Jason is right and blunt and convoluted and so so insecure about where he stands with Dick. Dick doesn't know where he stands with Jason either, on account of all the murder, and his tactless approach to trying to confront Dick on the copious amounts of trauma that Dick is dealing with. BiB is my Jaydick bible.

I'd also say to just give the first few arcs a shot. Beginnings are meant for introductions! It gives a good sense of who Dick is, why he's here, and what his goals are. Exposition baby! And I'm once again thinking about how ultimately Dick kind of fails said goals. I love him but he makes me so emo. Blockbuster has also been his main villain since the beginning, up until. Yknow. He became deader than his namesake. There's also a few fear toxin based issues that are good for. well. understanding what his fears are. There's also a fear toxin scene in Batman: Orphans, but i'll just reblog the post i made of it so u don't have to read that one. The art is fun, the story is weird and just kinda. meh.

#60 is when Dick joins the force. The beginning of the end, so to speak, but we don't meet Catalina until #71.

#93 is That Issue. The infamous rape scene. The thing about his time with Catalina is that it was almost definitely meant to be explored for what it was- an abusive relationship. But DC wanted Nightwing in an event. It doesn't have any satisfactory end, Bruce (DC) calls Dick to fight in Gotham. He does. His story falls to the wayside for the bigger title. The worst thing that can happen to a DC character IMO is getting a Batman crossover. There was supposed to be an entire arc dedicated to what would happen to Dick in this abusive relationship. But we got 2 issues. And War Games. It pisses me off to absolutely no end. DC needed more mouths to kiss the ground that Batman walks on. They don't give a damn about the stories that exist outside their cash cow.

After all that, eventually Dick is back to his utterly depressing life. He joins the mob, finds a family, bad things happen to said family. (Mobbed Up, #107-111) He wants to protect the daughter, Sophia Tevis, and then Slade holds Sophia hostage to get Dick to teach his daughter Rose how to fight. He does, but he also teaches Rose how to question authority (aka her dad). Slade is not happy about that, and nukes Bludhaven. (Renegade, #112-117) See my earlier note about IRL reasons for dumbass plot points.

Nightwing 1996 has 2 annual issues (despite running for much longer than 2 years). The first annual is a fun murder mystery and i think a good look into how Dick handles relationships. He also reads as very aromantic/demiromantic who doesn't know it yet, but maybe that's just me, lol. the second annual is dog shit. Mark Andreyko can get bent, it sucked total ass and isn't worth reading.

[tzigone]

The Redeemed Rogues

Bouncing around ideas for my headcanon reboot. Now, we all know Flash has an inordinately large number or Rogues that have been redeemed at one time or another. Since my headcanon characters will actually age and their stories will have ends, unlike real comics where they have to be kept in play, I'm thinking about what to do with these folks after they quit their criminal careers. I don't like them bouncing between good and bad - those that are redeemed stay so (and there's no mind-control making them go good).

Al and James are the ones that matter to me, I know Hartley matters to others. And Mick happened in the comics, too. Chime in on which villains you think should or shouldn't go straight, but Al and James are non-negotiable in my universe.

Albert Desmond - First rogue to go straight. Well, he'll quickly become engaged to Rita (maybe meets her on work release?). But he has to get a job. We know from issue 153 that he worked at an industrial company and was offered promotion to supervisor - any idea what he'd actually be doing?

I'm not sure on the idea of kids yet - depends on how his mental health is. While he'll still be hypnotized by Zoom a couple times, I'm definitely not going with Dragon's Eye thing, so he doesn't have that to worry about.

Mick Rory - Well, he got tired of being in jail. Got a straight job. In the comics, it was in a glassworks so his parole officer could frame him. I'm fine with that, but if anyone thinks any other jobs, let me know. His wages will have to be garnished to pay for the damages he's caused to buildings through arson.

I'm much more silver age on Mick's origin. A big show to impress a girl. Though he's not as fickle as Cold. Anyway, he'll probably find a woman who likes dramatic displays. Get married, and maybe have a kid.

James Jesse - Honestly, I just really enjoyed reading him in the '80s Blue Devil comics and then later popping up in '90s Impulse. He's just fun in those. So, like many villains, he has a great invention. His anti-grav (probably not using air pressure version because it's harder for me handwave the science) is something that could be patented. I'm not sure if it's useful for airplanes or hover cars. But it'd be great for getting people out of burning buildings. I think it'd be good for moving things - from furniture to stock in warehouses.

He's not the settle down type. I see him bouncing from occupation to hobby and back as he gets bored with one thing and moves on to the next.

Hartley Rathaway - I admit to finding the incredibly bribing first appearance of his parents kind of amusing. I feel he's more defined by his dynamic with Wally. Do you think they should still be killed?

Then there are his personal relationships. I didn't read New 52 for various reasons. I understand he was married to Barry's boss there. That seems less likely with Barry not being youthified. And a large percentage of gay men are not in monogamous relationships, so it might be nice to explore that. Of course, I didn't read, so the marriage may not have included sexual monogamy.

Leonard Snart - He just gets older. After Barry's "death," there's little reason to keep up the show. Barry comes back, but he stays retired.

I've said before that his cold gun is worth a fortune. Great for police officers and home defense. And, depending on how it works for stasis-ness, it would be amazing for EMTs. And yeah, kids are going to get ahold of them and shoot each other with them - but hey, it's not like it hurts anyone.

He would be so rich, and him being rich off the dollars of police departments is amusing. He'd take care of his sister. I can't decide what to do with her - her focus was all about Roscoe originally, which makes her unwilling to give up and kinda one note. Either her motivation changes, as with the comic, or she loses her drive for some reason. Since Barry won't stay dead, maybe she finds out Roscoe was cheating or something. Or she could be given an entirely new motivation.

Anyway, Leonard will live well, and fall madly in love two or three times a year. He's very fickle, though, so it never lasts more than a couple months.

[theadventurek9]

Aayla is back to being about 75-80% She is still moving a bit stiff/sore when she first gets up but it's not noticeable to the untrained eye.

I would really like for her to get back to 90% which is her normal.

Ive made the choice that we will not work towards an OTCH after she gets her UD instead Im going to bump her down to preferred and work towards a PUDX and POC.

Working on her OTCH means she would have to do four jumps per day, three tall at full height (20") and one broad at full length (40").

I have never noticed her to be in pain after practice or at an obedience trial yet. But still. In order to get an OTCH it would take us probably closer to 4 years and let's be honest. I'm not going to be expecting Aayla to jump full height as she is approaching 12 years old.

For OM she would probably need twoish years of trialing.

For UDX she would probably need little over a year.

Those are considering we finish up our utility training and have a 75% Q rate with a consistent score above 193. With about 12 trials a year.

It's just a lot with an aging dog to jump full height.

A PUDX and POC are the same as UDX and OM respectively for their requirements. She could just jump lower. Instead she could jump as low as 10" for the high and bar jump and 20" for the broad jump. I can choose what height I want her to jump from 10-20. (most likely would start with 16 and work our way down, worried about her blasting through the jumps and knocking the jumps if they're too low)

It hurts to lose sight of the OTCH dream but it's not a realistic goal for Aayla. I have to recognize she is an aging dog with arthritis and elbow dysplasia. While both are mild now...I want to keep it that way for as long as possible while still having training goals for us both to work on.

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO's Bookclub: Whispers From the Dead

Title: Whispers From the Dead Author: Joan Lowery Nixon Genre: YA Mystery

Goodreads Summary:

Only Sarah senses the horror.         The minute she steps through the doorway of her family’s new home, Sarah feels a smothering cold mist, and hears the echo of a scream and a heartbreaking whisper in Spanish, “Help me!”         Sarah feels compelled to find out who is trying to reach her. But can she uncover the mysteries of the past before terror strikes again?

Review:

This is the first time Nixon has implemented a real supernatural element. After Sarah nearly dies in the prologue - she (somewhat randomly) has the ability to sense the dead. It comes in handy as she moves into a new house - and can sense the presence of a woman who died there.

I did remember this book's set-up, and at first worried that it was going to be super hokey. It really wasn't - and honestly, while on the simpler side, was a decent, spooky read.

The main character Sarah isn't nearly as irritating as most of these heroines tend to be in these books. Sure - she still does some super dumb stuff -- like withholding important information from her parents and the police that would have solved the crime rather quickly. But JLN wanted to keep up the tension in the book, so she relied on this crutch to keep the plot going.

The thing about this book is that fairly early on any seasoned mystery reader can probably tell where the book is headed. Was it intentional? Or was the fact that these books are essentially written for 13yos make it seem a little easier than a standard mystery. The interesting thing is that (to me) knowing where it was going ramped up the tension considerably. This book is great with keeping up with a spooky atmosphere and an unsettling feeling through out. Part of it is the ghost elements (though these aren't as frequent - this isn't a solid ghost story) but a lot of it is the discomfort of knowing what Sarah seems to be oblivious to.

The other nice thing about this book is that it isn't too saddled with side plots that drag the book down. The mystery is the primary focus. It's a relatively tight book because of it.

JLN's tropes aren't out of hand either. Sure, we have this family moving to Texas from Missouri - and there's the same outsider feeling that we got in The Ghosts of Now, as well as the mom not coping very well after moving. But, as I said earlier, Sarah isn't too preoccupied with college nor is she annoyingly stupid and stubborn in the way the other heroines are. There isn't a strain of religion, a matronly figure, or someone sending anonymous phone calls.

And now that we're moving out of the 80s, the book doesn't feel as dated as a lot of the other books. Still, there are a few things that did make me cringe a bit -- such as the fact that the Mexicans in the book are all called 'illegals' and the fact that Sarah's friend Dee Dee is always talking about her weight (though she's apparently in good enough shape to be a life guard).

[As an aside - there's a weird obsession with weight in a lot of these books. It's not hugely fatphobic in the way a lot of other YA books were at the time, but it's always pointed out when someone is overweight - as if that's relevant to note, and the overweight character is always obsessed with losing weight - if it's a person who has more than a line of dialogue. It's really kind of annoying, and no wonder young women have body issues with all of the shaming going around.]

Overall, it's a solid read with a spooky mystery. I have to give Nixon credit for being able to sell atmosphere really well - because the one consistent thing she does well in these books is give an unsettling and tense atmosphere. And this one does it really well.

Rating: 3.25 Stars

[vegetablejester]

I also have some thoughts on Dawntrail, spoilers down below.

So I'm rather mixed to be honest, some parts I think were really well done and cool while others felt a bit rushed and disconnected. For my first compliment at least, they did do a really good job at representation and exploring culture from what I understand too from others talking about it from said cultures. I hope they keep this up in the future as remembering how badly Gyr Abania gets shafted constantly makes my blood boil.

Lvl 90-95 95-100 though feel like two halves of an expac or patch quests though. Its very weirdly cut in half like patch quests normally would be after an expac. But at the same time having the rite of succession be drawn out would probably become a drag eventually. One of my biggest issues however has to be the villains of the expac and their motivation. We have Bakool Ja Ja as the red herring villain first who gets redeemed. I don't mind this, what bothers me is how his character was written beforehand and how some of the shit he does just doesn't make any sense. Why did he free the Valigarmanda? He doesn't give any good reason other than he just can and will. Having him maybe boast he can do it because he's a blessed sibling and getting too high up his ass and losing with us cleaning up the mess would have fit better. If his motivation is to impress his father and stop more blessed siblings from being born by them being able to leave the forest, show it better. It all just kind of happens once we get to the last trial almost out of no-where.

Zoraal Ja annoys me the most though. Because we have little to no idea why he's such a war-monger to begin with. He has this idea that everyone's gotten soft after being in peace for 80 years, then fucking show that softness maybe and how it could be bad. Even if he did win the rite, what's this mf gonna do in a city that doesn't have a port to build boats gonna do against the motherfucking LOMISAN NAVY. The closest we go an idea to why he acts the way he does it is because he's bitter about being Gulool Ja Ja's only trueborn son and having pressure and thinking he automatically deserves to rule because of that. I would have found it interesting if maybe he was bitter over his mother dying due to the strenuous birth of a child like him or Gulool Ja Ja wasn't perfect in raising him and teaching him. His motivations just kind of feel lazy out of nowhere tbh.

And then there's Sphene. So Living Memory and Alexandria have things i like a lot. It's really cool to see more stuff about other reflections and also FF9 hehe. But I felt like what she did was very easy sort of shouldered off like "Oh sorry she was just programmed that way teehee but don't worry she's good again now before she diessss" Like no fuck off. 14 cant get good female villains down ever since Yotsuyu who remained bitter yet slightly regretful as she died. She never asked for redemption, and I would have liked to see Sphene stick to her shit even as she died like, Wuk Lamat cant say shit about understanding her pain. We were told how many people died in the attack, 50. How many people have died in Sphene's kingdom and lifetime? To have a whole fucking society built around erasing the memory of people who die to avoid grief and a whole area dedicated to using those memories to recreate them after life? It's not exactly comparable tbh.

I will say I do like the idea of Living Memory after Ultima Thule. Ultima Thule was about the stubbornness of pushing on and continuing to live against all odds because so many are still out there alive and living so the area becomes more full as you progress. While in Living Memory, everyone is already dead. We're just here to turn the lights off in the house. It becomes more empty and dead mall like as we progress instead because its breaking the cycle and ending the prolonged existence after death because there's no more life left to live. Next to that Sphene had built herself a sinking ship, too much empathy to let those who die to keep the memories alive are added to the Memory Zone, but that then mean more aether is needed and more reflections to drain of souls and aether until there's nothing left. It would have collapsed eventually and it was better we did it now than later.

Those are just some of my thoughts so far though.

[the-firebird69]

Mystical air powered motorcycle

With two high pressure steel canisters about the size he's holding but that's aluminum you need to go steel he could probably go 40 miles you can add a third on top and go about 60 it's a bicycle it's very light and the guy looks heavy but if you had a 150 lb person to go about 70 miles with two tanks and about 150 with three cuz you lose weight with the tanks deplete but that's high strength steel that's 5,000 PSI it's dangerous and the average about 20 miles an hour the way it's got set up just simply put gears in the back and you go about 80 on compressed air and you can compress the air using water wheel it makes a little noise but not too much when you're on your way and he's thinking of it but it's not really practical and it costs a lot of money and the way he's made it the plastic it's going to break pretty soon but he said what if I use the compressor would it be more efficient than other motors in the sun says and compressor can be gas or electric we did the calculations and compressed air takes more energy than a regular motor you'd be running a compressor Non-Stop and it takes a lot of power so he started thinking about it compressed air is not really that good and it's not but it does work and to make a compressor out of water wheel which it looks like you do does work and you want to deliver these tanks and we understand that and it will get you pretty far on a bicycle unfortunately it's illegal because it's still a motor and we see what you're trying to do but they got onto it with the electric motor and the most revolutionary thing you can do is make a pas level 3 two or one you can change the levels manually and you can do that with electronics it's a bigger control box and just have a switch and you can pull the cops by making a blank or a black spot on the three or what have you but really three is legal most places and take the small battery and a high performance alternator and you run the motor on the alternator and you run the right voltage and the right current and you put in a voltage regulator just like in a car and you can make it look like an e-bike and you can go indefinitely and the speeds would be incredible if you bypass your system and you can simply put a button on there or a key and it'll be like an emergency bypass but you don't have to tell anybody and you can go very fast on our son's Big e bike with that system in a thousand Watts hooked up to the mid drive he'll go about 85 miles an hour indefinitely from here to Tampa and it would take 3 hours at 85 now he'll be gone about 60 but he can get up there and if you're riding along and you see a cop just slow down and they can't tell how fast you're going most of the time and it's hard to get a reflection off a bicyclist it's a good idea and you need to attack and Max say you can't use it and when if you had that you could do your stupid idea with two batteries carry the spare is a tank and just put a different one on that's empty as a blood box glove box and giving these ideas out because we need the stuff

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

His friend on the big ones high performance and Hera says that it could be modified to have real brakes and high performance tires and rims and hubs without too much trouble and it's true he put on a motorcycle version that are light and they make them and there you have it and people can do that and it's very hard to tell and the tires would be a little bit thinner about three and a half and you'd move real fast

Thor Freya

I said a lot of the above but I get what you're saying and they are gearing up and the three billion have not moved yet they are being attacked and it's drawing in more ships to oppose them there's about 7 or 9 billion ships opposing them just in case and they heard us

Hera

That's good news I was a little worried because they are getting a little odd and desperate in the times are calling for it because of the announcement of the max and if they overwhelm them it'll be too late to stop them and we need it on the interior too

Zues

We have gotten to that and we do have systems in place we do hear what you're saying

Thor Freya

We're closely monitoring them they're going to be working closely together at any time could you align and that would be a problem and it's Mac Daddy his style it is dangerous and we are we're prepping for it

Olympus

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

CHAPTER 5. THE FLAYED. Sorry I just think that’s super dramatic.

1.) Why is that elevator so fast? The kids could have gotten this place shut down so fast just by going to OSHA.

2.) Erica and Dustin are worsties.

3.) They are so far underground. The logistics of getting that elevator built must have been a nightmare.

4.) The evil Russians can’t build elevators but they sure are good at building secret bases under houses.

5.) The subtitles have betrayed me and no longer translate Russian for me. Probably because Joyce and Hopper don’t speak Russian. So like it makes sense but I can still be annoyed because I’m nosy.

6.) Policeman have rules? Man, you really aren’t from around here, my dude.

7.) STOP SHOOTING A MACHINE GUN IN A CLOSED AREA, DIPSHIT.

8.) Joyce is bad at throwing but that Russian is worse at shooting. HOW MANY ROUNDS DID YOU SHOOT WITHOUT HITTING ANYTHING? And people say stormtroopers are bad, but they at least canonically weren’t actually trying to stop them. Pretty sure that dude actually was supposed to be stopping them.

9.) Nancy called Jonathan at 6 am to vague about Will being in danger, something no rational person would do, but it was done to be dramatic so they could cut to other characters.

10.) JOYCE AND HOPPER BICKERING IS SO BORING. SO FUCKING BORING.

11.) I love Max being sassy to Mike. Also excited for this to go from 4 groups to 3 groups.

12.) I missed part of Robin and Erica being sassy to each other because I was giving smooches to my cat on his widdle head. And now he’s cuddling with me. That’s not an update about the show but I feel it’s important.

13.) Steve stops the elevator door with a truly impressive move.

14.) Dustin got called roast beef.

15.) I don’t care about evil Russian guy who looks like if you ordered Arnold Scwarzenegger from Wish.

16.) OHH MY GODDDDDDDD. WHY DID THE DUFFERS HAVE JOYCE AND HOPPER BE SO INSUFFERABLE AROUND EACH OTHER THIS SEASON?

17.) I forgot that they carjack a guy named Todd and it is the Toddfather car.

18.) Steve figures out the potential upside down connection about the same time that Dustin does.

19.) I love that El just breaks into so many places.

20.) Their plan is to use an 80 year old woman like a tracking dog.

21.) I forgot they take Alexei to Murray.

22.) I love Joyce.

23.) I love Robin believing Erica about the comma room immediately while Dustin is like ‘that could be anything’.

24.) It is very funny that the only time Steve wins a fight is against a Russian soldier while in an adorable sailor outfit.

25.) Robin discovers the portal.

26.) I hate that they have Jonathan say he was 100% wrong. He kind of wasn’t wrong. The real enemy is capitalism, btw. The patriarchy too. That being said, “I’m a woman and I want to do this so you’re not allowed to be mad about losing a job you desperately need because your financial situation is completely different than mine” is not a feminist take, actually. Like Nancy has her own phone in her room. She has her own TV. Her mom is a stay at home mom. She doesn’t have to worry about how she’s going to pay for college or if she has connections for a job because she has both. She can even blow off a job in the summer before her her senior year because it’s not that important. Jonathan doesn’t have any of those luxuries.

Like yes, Nancy was right about this case and she was right to pursue it, but Jonathan wasn’t wrong to want to drop a case that looked like nonsense to keep a job he needed. Or at least not rock the boat with it. It was also just kind of naive that Nancy thought that there was an amount that would make a bunch of sexist men who saw her as a couple years away from being worth fucking to see her as a professional. There literally wasn’t. They didn’t ask for proof, they asked for her to shut he fuck up and get them coffee.

27.) I love Lucas being the one to notice a moment to actually talk to El. Dustin may think he’s the smartest child out of the boys, but it’s actually Lucas.

28.) I forgot that they get chased.

29.) The flirting going back and forth between carnage in the hospital while Nancy and Jonathan run for their lives is something.

30.) so many people get choked this season.

31.) Jonathan gets his ass beat this season.

32.) For every time that ugly man disrespects Nancy Drew, he owes me 20 dollars, so he owes me a lot.

33.) I think they just killed like 1/5 of the papers staff at least. Do either of them get to have a moment to reckon with the fact that they killed two human beings?

34.) The bodies melted into bad CGI that is STILL DISGUSTING.

35.) Have you heard of a meet cute and a meet ugly? Now in season 3 episode 5, you can see a meet disgusting where two blobs come together to form into a mini mind flayer.

[fandomdancer]

Gloves Off

A few months ago I left social media because I was realizing that I was posting on five different sites (Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, and Discord), and getting almost no responses to things I would say or questions I would ask. The only way to get someone to interact with me was to deliberately call them out. Even when I posted needing help or expressing frustration, it was exceedingly rare that someone would actually reply to me in any way.

I have slowly made my way back and discovered that the same is still true. A few people responded quickly when I posted but now it's dropped off again.

So...I'm going to try something radical. I'm going to start posting personal things here. Since it seems like no one cares or cares enough to respond, I will assume people aren't really reading this either. So it shouldn't matter what I put. At least it'll help me get stuff out of my head.

Last night, I had a dream. It was a typical dream for me...I commonly dream about 'first days', such as first days of work or school. I am usually filled with excitement at the 'newness' of everything, but mixed in is a general sense of unease and discomfort because I can't figure out where I need to go or what I need to do. I'm usually late, running around, trying to find someone or something to help me, and I eventually wake up or leave the situation feeling uncomfortable and hoping the next day is better.

I also dream about 'last days' and this was that kind of dream. For a 'last day' dream, it's usually the last day of school or camp, something where I have made friends or gotten a romantic interest but now it's over and we all have to go away. There's an anxiety in the air, a feeling of losing friends and wondering if we will all see each other again. There's also a pressure, a rush to get things done and close all the loops, so to speak, before finally going home.

In the dream last night, it was the last day of a camp or convention that I was at. I was with two other girls, and we were all close - we'd met during the time we had been there but we were great friends. However, one of the girls had said she wasn't coming back next year, and so we were preparing to say goodbye to her 'forever' (there's never a sense of 'I'll write you', it's always 'probably never again' in these dreams). As we walked and talked, we passed by other 'dorms' where actors were staying. The actors had been in the camp with us, teaching and hanging out with us. It was all very chill, we weren't 'starstruck', but we WERE planning on getting autographs and pictures before leaving, and the actors knew this and were okay with it.

One of the actors (there's still an odd part of me that worries someone will read this and judge me so I won't say who, let's just say he is older and was popular in the 90s) and I had apparently gotten close because I remember when I looked at him, I felt an extreme warmth blossom in my chest, that feeling of affection and familiarity with someone you know well. It wasn't romantic...not really. That feeling was reserved for a different actor I saw a moment later, (still older but not as old, and popular in the 80s and 90s) that sort of tense excitement of looking at That Person and wondering if They Like You Too. Both actors were packing up and getting ready to go so the three of us thought it was inappropriate to bug them for photos and autographs yet. We decided to wait.

While we were waiting, the camp or convention was being broken down, and eventually we were pushed out of our waiting spot to various locations around the dorms or hotel or wherever it was we were. (My brain doesn't always fill in location like that). Everywhere we went, things were being taken down and apart and people were packing and leaving, and the general sense of sadness grew as the time got closer for us to go. Eventually, we were pushed so far away that we had to start walking back to our own 'dorms' to pick up our stuff and get on the bus to go to the airport.

Here's where the dream got odd.

As we were walking back, I saw a shuttle pulling out, and in the shuttle I saw the two actors we had planned to meet. Instead of feeling like I missed out on a chance for a photo and autograph, I suddenly felt like someone I cared about deeply was going away forever, and there would be no contact ever again. To my shock, I saw the actor I had felt familiar with press his hand to the glass of the window, his face frantic as he looked at me, and it was honestly like something out of a movie, both of us raising our hands to wave, me starting to cry, and our eyes just locked on each other as the van drove by. Then, suddenly, the van stopped and the door opened and I ran over there. He got out of the van and we flung our arms around each other.

I was sobbing really hard into his jacket and he was petting my back and murmuring things to me that I don't remember (I WISH I did, I don't remember what I was saying to him either). He was trying to be comforting and soothing I think, but he was holding on to me as tightly as I was holding on to him. None of the other people in the van looked bothered by what was going on, in fact a couple of them looked sad, like they knew or understood what was happening. I heard my girlfriends talking to others behind me but it was really all about this one actor and I, saying goodbye. His jacket was a little rough, a synthetic material, and he was warm. He smelled like the hotel we had been in, that kind of warm, welcoming, clean scent that's like a mix of flowers and linen, and a bit musky.

We eventually drew apart and he wiped a couple of tears from my eyes before getting back in the van. As he did, the other actor I had wanted to meet (the one I felt a little romantic to), climbed into the seat right by the door. He was now only inches away from me, and I had the opportunity to say goodbye to him and tell him how much I appreciated his work and thank him. But after I did that...he ignored me. He didn't look at me once, or even seem to realize I was there. He just stared straight ahead with this blank, angry look on his face. He didn't say a word. He didn't blink. He just stared. I felt so incredibly sick watching him, like I had done something horribly wrong.

And the van door closed and the vehicle drove off - and I woke up.

The whole experience left me feeling wrung out and shaken up. Even though I know it was a dream, I still feel like I did something wrong and I still feel like I lost someone important. The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was make sure both actors are still alive (they are), but I'm still sitting here at work wanting to cry because I can't fix whatever I did wrong - and I know I'll probably never get an opportunity to meet at least one of the actors (the one I was familiar with), so that goodbye might be the only chance I get to interact with him...and it wasn't even a real interaction.

I may have a chance at meeting the other actor...and I doubt it will go as badly as the dream. He's a pretty cool guy from what I've heard. I'm just annoyed my brain painted him in that light. I guess my insecurities are free to roam and take over when I'm asleep. I'm extremely insecure and worried about first impressions. Comes with the autism.

Pictures are of the actors around the ages in my dream.

[halfmoondaze]

Can I request an angst to fluff where y/n and jack get into an argument and she storms out gets into a car crash. Jack doesn’t know about until his mom calls him freaking out that y/n is in the hospital and they make up in the end??? Takes place when he was recently in Kentucky

author's note: while I was writing this request, I was really inspired by this song, so you can listen to it while reading it to get into the mood. Thanks for the anon for requesting this. I hope you enjoy reading it.

What If

You couldn't take it anymore, so you just stormed out of your shared apartment with Jack and got into your car. 

"How did we get here?" you thought to yourself as you broke down and started crying hard. 

Once you regain your composure, you noticed the tears on the steering wheel dripping onto the seat. 

It seemed like all you and Jack knew how to do since he came back from the tour was fight. You really missed him while he was away, so you did everything you could to please him, but soon you came to realize that wasn't enough and you were losing yourself in the process. But tonight you reached your breaking point. 

You pulled yourself together and started driving, which wasn't probably the best thing to do in your current emotional state, but staying with Jack would end up destroying sooner or later. 

Soon it started pouring and you found yourself sitting at a stoplight about 4 vehicles from the intersection. 

As you glanced at the mirror you saw a car coming at 80 kph. The next thing you heard was a break squeal before impact. 

The impact was so strong, that you hit your head against the glass before going unconscious. 

As you slowly opened your eyes, you could hear faint cries and beeping machine sounds. 

"Jack?" you managed to blurt out. 

"Y/n, hey I'm here" Jack said as he noticed you were waking up as he leaned into the bed. 

You touched your head and winced in pain. 

"Hey, it's ok" he said pulling your hand away. 

"What happened?" 

"You got into a car accident" he said between sobs. "Its all my fault, I-"

"No no no, don't say that" you said brushing his hand. 

"I-" 

"Miss Y/N, I see you are awake now" the doctor said as he entered the room. "My name is Dr. Collins. How are you feeling?" 

"My head is pounding" 

"Well, I can assure you have nothing to worry about. You got into a really bad car accident and surprisingly you are completely unharmed. We performed a CAT scan for your head and you only have a concussion" 

You and Jack gave each other a look. 

"What? How? That's impossible" you said. 

"Well... there are some things not even science can explain" 

"So does that mean she can go home?" Jack asked. 

"We would rather she stay for two nights so we can monitor her" 

You and Jack agreed. 

"Excuse me" the doctor excused himself before leaving the room. 

"How did you know?" you broke the silence after a few minutes. 

"My mom called me as soon as she found out" 

"I'm sorry for being a dick. I've been taking all of my frustrations on you....and now I almost lost you" he choked. "I was so close to losing you and it was all my fault" 

You pulled him into a hug and that's when he broke down in tears. 

"It's ok, I'm here now" you whispered in his ear as you kissed the top of his head. 

As they remained there wrapped in each other's arms, they became appeased as a silent sense of content and relief took over them. 

Being so close to losing Y/N, Jack closed his eyes while holding her close as he set his soul at ease knowing that she was here at this very moment, and he was never letting her go.