#still sad to know that aayla could have done it if i had found a good trainer instead of winging it

[theadventurek9]

Aayla is back to being about 75-80% She is still moving a bit stiff/sore when she first gets up but it's not noticeable to the untrained eye.

I would really like for her to get back to 90% which is her normal.

Ive made the choice that we will not work towards an OTCH after she gets her UD instead Im going to bump her down to preferred and work towards a PUDX and POC.

Working on her OTCH means she would have to do four jumps per day, three tall at full height (20") and one broad at full length (40").

I have never noticed her to be in pain after practice or at an obedience trial yet. But still. In order to get an OTCH it would take us probably closer to 4 years and let's be honest. I'm not going to be expecting Aayla to jump full height as she is approaching 12 years old.

For OM she would probably need twoish years of trialing.

For UDX she would probably need little over a year.

Those are considering we finish up our utility training and have a 75% Q rate with a consistent score above 193. With about 12 trials a year.

It's just a lot with an aging dog to jump full height.

A PUDX and POC are the same as UDX and OM respectively for their requirements. She could just jump lower. Instead she could jump as low as 10" for the high and bar jump and 20" for the broad jump. I can choose what height I want her to jump from 10-20. (most likely would start with 16 and work our way down, worried about her blasting through the jumps and knocking the jumps if they're too low)

It hurts to lose sight of the OTCH dream but it's not a realistic goal for Aayla. I have to recognize she is an aging dog with arthritis and elbow dysplasia. While both are mild now...I want to keep it that way for as long as possible while still having training goals for us both to work on.

[mahizli]

Reckless (There Is No Chaos, There Is Harmony)

Beautiful art that can be found here, and that shows what happens *after* and not *during* this story, that is also Part 3 of Threading The Way.

26 BBY.

“Why don’t you ever say something nice to me?!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Anakin…”

“See what I mean? It’s never enough for you, is it?”

“Now don’t pull that card on me, Padawan–”

“No, you don’t get to Padawan me!”

Anakin paused, out of breath, cheeks flushed with rage, facing Obi-Wan whose eyes had started to brighten as well but still stayed infuriatingly calm. He had crossed his arms, though, fingers twisting the fabric of his tunic, meaning even perfect-and-tidy-Master-Obi-Wan could get upset. And Anakin wanted his Master to get upset. He wanted him to feel just as angry and betrayed and hurt as he was.

“You don’t get to tell the Council my actions were a bit rash. I saved your kriffing life, Master, I prevented a whole building from collapsing on you, and just because you’re too weak to do the same, you don’t get to be jealous of me and belittle me and call my actions rash in front of stupid Master Windu!”

He was as tall as his Master now. And he would get taller than Obi-Wan, that much was obvious, because he had already outgrown him in matters of boot-size. Meaning he was on eye-level with his Master. Meaning he had a full view of the whirlwind of emotions blossoming in Obi-Wan’s stormy eyes, and the way every bit of colour left his Master’s cheeks.

Obi-Wan’s fingers tightened around his arms, and for a few seconds, even the Force felt still around them, leaving Anakin quivering with rage and something uncomfortable feeling a lot like shame.

“Master Windu is not responsible for the way you feel about me”, Obi-Wan finally managed to push out, in a somewhat breathy voice.

And the angry beast deep within Anakin raised its tail again, clawing its talons deep into his chest and belly.

“No, because you are”, he spat out, and of all the things he could have done, his Master blinked.

It made Anakin even more angry. He wanted Obi-Wan to roar, to stand up against him, to yell at him, to call him names, to fight. Not to stand there looking like a small, breakable thing that could be crushed in an eyeblink, if Anakin wasn’t watching – and Obi-Wan had not a clue, Obi-Wan never had a clue…

“Anakin, my intention never was to belittle you.”

“Well I don’t believe you.”

Something in Obi-Wan’s face closed then, and Anakin felt his Master’s shields slam shut, leaving their bond blank, like the aftermath of an explosion. Obi-Wan’s hands left his arms, and then his Master simply walked past him, leaving their sitting room for the kitchen.

It was always the same, whenever Obi-Wan felt overwhelmed. He would simply stop talking, leaving the argument like he would leave a room, and it drew Anakin nuts.

“What are you doing?”, he asked, angrily, watching his Master open a cupboard, fetching a sponge and an old cleaning rag, without even using the Force – sometimes Obi-Wan seemed to forget it even existed.

“I’m clearing the dust”, Obi-Wan rasped, in that strangled tone of voice he had whenever Anakin had pushed every possible button to draw him ballistic. “It’s been weeks since we’ve been here, and I’m not sleeping in a dirty room.”

“Have you listened to a word I said?”

“Have you?”

Strange, how Obi-Wan’s fierceness could sound so much like sadness. Strange, also, how luminous his eyes could look whenever he finally chose to stand up, to fight back – and he didn’t even use his lightsaber, just some ratty sponge and rag, wiping the table with enough strength to wipe out every possible stain.

“I’m clearing the dust. I suggest you do the same, literally or metaphorically.”

“Typical.”

And with that last insult, hissed like a fire-breath from whatever nasty beast was feasting on sadness and hurt behind his chest, Anakin left their quarters, slamming their door shut, heading straight for the hangers where droids and speeders were waiting for him, and could do nothing but agreeing with him.

It had been six years. Six kriffing years, since Anakin had arrived at the Temple, had heard Master Windu tell him he would never become a Jedi, and yet there he was. There he was, going on missions with his Master, flying their ship, fighting alongside Obi-Wan and saving the day whenever his Master’s disturbing habit of talking them out of trouble backfired on them.

And yet, Anakin could not shake the nagging feeling that no one really wanted him there, that they were all watching him with narrowed eyes, waiting for him to slip up, to prove them they had all been right, no matter how hard he tried.

And Obi-Wan did not help. Not anymore. He was trying to reign Anakin in, instead of letting his power grow, instead of letting him prove himself, talking about balance and reason and mindfulness, when all was just a piece of rubbish.

“How is mindfulness going to keep you from getting crushed?”, Anakin muttered, teeth gritted around a nut he was determined to screw deep within the speeder’s core.

His hair was soon matted with dust and oil, and his skin salty with sweat. He was about as far he could get from Obi-Wan’s notions of cleanliness, and it felt so deeply satisfying that the beast behind Anakin’s chest finally quietened.

He spent enough hours under that speeder to get hungry, but it was out of the question to go back to their quarters and to Obi-Wan – because going back was almost like apologizing, and Anakin did not want to.

So he did what he always did, whenever he fought his Master and wanted to vent about him. Master Quinlan was useless in such cases, getting all stern and serious to the point even Aayla was beginning to look worried – but then, Master Quinlan was always a bit overprotective of his friends, so…

No, the best person whenever he wanted to talk, and explain just how betrayed and misunderstood he felt was Master Luminara, who somehow always managed to calm him down, and to silence the beast within him.

“Hello, Padawan Skywalker”, she greeted him, night-like eyes sparkling with unspoken fondness. “I see you have made it back from your mission.”

“Hello, Master Luminara. There is no need to Padawan me, you know.”

“Oh, I know. But I, too, do enjoy a tease every now and then. Do come in.”

“Thank you. Oh.”

Master Luminara’s usually impeccably tidy rooms were crowded with two empty shelves, what looked to be parts of a desk and two mechanic droids adding to the mess and bustle.

“Don’t tell me you are dusting as well”, Anakin muttered, dejectedly.

“Because Obi-Wan is?”, Luminara asked, cheerily, moving to the kitchen to brow themselves a cup of caff.

“Mhm”, Anakin let out, allowing his long, gangly limbs to cram themselves between the bench and the table, and to let out a dramatic sigh.

“Oh. Sponge or rag?”

“Both.”

“That bad, then…”

She was not laughing at him, though. Master Luminara never was. She always listened to him, and she never judged, unlike Master Quinlan who didn’t hesitate to yell and occasionally even shake him – not that Anakin minded, because it was always somewhat amusing to watch him loose his cool.

“He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand how I feel. He thinks I’m acting rashly, that I only follow my instinct and my whims instead of thinking things through, that I rely too much on my emotions, and not enough on the Force. But it’s not true! I’m the one who saved him from being crushed, last mission, and he keeps pulling stunts like that, getting into trouble and then lecturing me because I got him out!”

“What happened, Anakin? DUM, NIK, would you please put those shelves in the spare room – and the desk as well, opposite the bed…?”

“Why are you refurnishing that room, Master Luminara?”

“Never mind now, Anakin. Please tell me, how did you prevent Obi-Wan from getting crushed, exactly?”

And so, Anakin finally got to tell someone about how that building exploded, how his Master was standing just below, having been talking to officials, and how Anakin prevented the building from collapsing, holding it up with the Force for almost twenty minutes.

“He just lectured me. In the med-centre. Of all the things he could have done, he lectured me.”

“In the med-centre?”

“Yeah. I… sort of collapsed, after that. But it was okay. The medics said I just had some Jedi-Force-exhaustion, and I slept it off, and that was it.”

“I see… And how long, exactly, were you unconscious, Anakin?”

Anakin watched the caff swirl in his cup, as he moved it around in small circles, until he finally let out two pitiful words, refusing to look up.

“Two days.”

Luminara let the words sink in, and gently placed a soft, cool hand on his. But she didn’t say a word, just waited for him to rise his eyes and let out a small, undignified breath sounding a lot like a sob.

“I just wanted to make him proud”, he whispered, and Luminara drew him against her, allowing him to hide his burning face against his neck. “I know I should have thought of something else, I even know that he probably would have jumped away, but I… I knew I could do it, and I wanted to save him. And instead…”

“You saved him, Anakin. And I do not think Obi-Wan denies it. I think he was as scared of losing you than you were of losing him. I think that, whenever Obi-Wan calls you reckless, he is chiding himself for not protecting you better. For exposing you. He knows just how many eyes are on both of you. And I think your Master is trying to shield you – to make it appear like he is the one failing to hold you back, whenever you get passionate, so that you can continue to be who you are deep inside.”

Anakin frowned at that, and then he shook his head.

“I’m too chaotic for him. Sometimes I think he’d be better off without me.”

“Nonsense, Anakin. Obi-Wan thrives in chaos, believe me. Quinlan, Master Qui-Gon, and now you – he needs someone reckless enough to draw him out of his shell.”

That made Anakin smile, and unfold from Luminara’s embrace.

“So. Why are you putting those shelves and desk into the spare-room?”, he asked, and he watched Luminara’s face soften in quiet joy.

“Because tomorrow, Padawan Skywalker, I will welcome my very own Padawan into those quarters. I have waited for her to become of age, and tomorrow, we will finally start our apprenticeship together.”

“Your apprenticeship, Master Luminara? You are no apprentice anymore…”

“But I am, Padawan Skywalker. I am going to begin to learn what it means to be a Padawan’s Master and companion – it is not something we are born with, you know… And the Master learns just as much as the Padawan, on their journey together.”

It was late already when Anakin finally left Master Luminara’s quarters. He had helped her move the furniture where she wanted them, and had even managed to empower the droids so as to allow them to fix some of the shelves to the wall, standing one on top of the other. The room was clean and tidy, just like his had been when Obi-Wan had open his door to him – and Anakin remembered, with a sinking heart, just how different things had been for both of them, and just how much time it had taken for Obi-Wan to claim his own room and find the courage to clear it from Master Jinn’s things with him.

He opened their door with a slow, controlled Force-brush, and closed it noiselessly behind him, tiptoeing inside. The sitting room was clean, without a speck of dust, the plants were watered and even the holobooks and holovids had been dusted and put lovingly back into place. The kitchen was spotless as well, spoons and cupboards neatly stored in the cupboards, and even the ground was shiny and smelt of cleanliness. Anakin’s room was untouched though – Obi-Wan having learned very early that Anakin was very peculiar about boundaries, storing treasures and droid-parts – save for the bed that had been made with fresh sheets.

He found his Master in his own room, not even needing to open the door. Obi-Wan had dusted and cleaned his own room, and Valentine was letting out small, regular puffs on the windowsill – her very own way to snore.

Obi-Wan himself was stretched on his bed, feet still brushing the ground and arms circling his face, like someone who had sat down, then let himself fall backwards, without moving ever since. He was still holding the infamous rag in a loose grip, but he was fast asleep, hair still a bit sweaty from exertion, features lax behind the stubble he kept growing to hide just how young he looked.

Anakin shook his head, and took the rag from Obi-Wan’s hand, wrinkling his nose.

“Gross, Master. And ridiculous”, he whispered, careful not to wake him up.

He managed to shower and change without Obi-Wan even stirring – and Anakin realised then just how tired his Master must have been. He had not really noticed, but in hindsight it was obvious. Because his Master never slept whenever he was ill or injured, always hovering anxiously at his side, even pretending not to be.

He came back to Obi-Wan’s room with a data-pad, and had managed to reach level 72 of his newest game, when he finally heard a deep sigh leaving his Master’s chest, and realised Obi-Wan was waking up.

“Hello there”, Anakin whispered – and his own chest felt oddly tight, remembering the dreadful words he had thrown at his Master.

His Master whose first reaction was to smile at him and reach out for his hand, placing warm, loose fingers around his wrist, in an instinctive gesture of love or care that made the knot in Anakin’s chest even tighter.

Obi-Wan sat up, and then only seemed to remember that they had fought and were supposed to be at odds, his face getting all tight and apprehensive once more. But his hand was still around Anakin’s wrist, and Anakin did not let him speak – he just embraced him fiercely with everything he had, hiding his face deep into Obi-Wan’s chest.

“I am so, so sorry, Master. I never meant any of it. I promise. I promise.”

Obi-Wan just breathed out and hugged him back. They stayed like that for some time, and their bond was no longer silent and cold, but simply there, like it had been for six years – tying Anakin to the Force and to his Master.

“Have you eaten?”, Obi-Wan finally asked, ever practical, and Anakin shook his head.

“Shall we, then?”, his Master asked. “There’s pie in the cantina tonight.”

“Wizard”, Anakin muttered, but he didn’t let go.

Not before he managed to ask that very important question, the one that had fuelled the beast’s anger deep within him.

“Master, do you think I’m… too chaotic? Do you think… Do you sometimes think about… how different life would have been… without having to take me in?”

This time Obi-Wan straightened. And this time his Master’s voice was as fierce and powerful as it could get – just like it was whenever he put a stop to all the nonsense the Galaxy allowed to happen during their missions, just like it was whenever he did something so great Anakin could just stand there and gape and think about just how awesome his Master was.

“I don’t even want to begin considering it.”

Anakin’s throat tightened, and he closed his eyes, feeling his Master’s hands on his back, gently tapping him.

“I’d die of boredom”, Obi-Wan whispered, grazing Anakin’s hair with his stubble, laughing silently at his indignant squawk. “Besides, Padawan mine…”

He let go of Anakin, just enough to be able to look at him, and to place Anakin’s braid back behind his ear.

“There is harmony to be found, even within chaos.”

He placed something into Anakin’s palm, smiling softly at him, and watched him discover a small black bead harbouring a beautiful golden streak.

“What is this one for, Master? I… I just yelled at you. I called you… I told you some horrible things.”

“But you also saved my life. And you taught me that sometimes… sometimes I still put things the wrong way, whenever I try to talk to you, and about you.”

“I do so as well, Master”, Anakin whispered, fingers closing shyly around the bead.

“Well then, Padawan… I think we still make quite the pair.”

And we can both become better Jedi together.

His Master’s voice was warm and loving in Anakin’s mind. And so Anakin smiled, and pulled his Master up, determined to pull him towards the cantina as fast as he could.

Because, tonight, there was pie, and after all, Anakin was starving.

[detroitbydark]

Fox and Mouse Finale 1/2

Characters: Commander Fox x Mouse (reader), and more Jedi/clones/politicians than you can shake a stick at.

Summary: Fox makes plans and then remakes them...

A/N: Ladies and Lads this is it! A chapter so stupid long it required it be split in two pieces. I'm not going to make you wait and I'll be posting both this evening. I'm feeling really sentimental because this is the longest thing I've ever written and completed. I couldn't have done it without y’all. Your support and comments have helped me get through the tough periods of writing and the stress in my life as of late. This is for you guys! Thank you. I love you! 

Special thanks as always to @skdubbs and @crimson-dxwn for being there to listen to me and help me every step of the way. You are both absolutely amazing!

````````

The crick in his neck is the least of Fox’s worries when he wakes. It wasn’t like he could call the tossing and turning he’d done for the last six standard hours much of a rest. After returning to his room, tail tucked between his legs, Fox hadn’t been able to unwind. He couldn’t lay his head down without a million thoughts racing through his head.

He loved her. 

Yes, it was something he’d known for a while, maybe even longer than he was willing to admit. He loved her more than he loved himself. For a long time he’d thought that’s how love was supposed to work. You sacrificed yourself for the things you loved. Now he’s not sure.

Mouse loved him. It was something he hadn’t hoped for, but after being near her, feeling her lips against his own, seeing the depth of emotion in her sad eyes as she’d kicked him out of her room - he didn’t question it. The issue he finds himself struggling with is hard to put into words. If he couldn’t love himself, if he didn’t think he was worthy, could he truly love her? Mouse was willing to accept him at his most broken, for his flaws and his lingering self doubt. If he couldn’t do the same for himself-

The thoughts kept him up the better of the night. He’d lost count of the times he’d walked to his door intent on barging into her room… and doing what? That’s where the plan got dicey and inevitably where he decided against any further action until first light.

Of course, by the time he’d fallen asleep he’d been so exhausted that he’d missed first light. It wasn’t until a pair of noisy male tik-tak birds jostled for the affections of a female outside his window that Fox woke.

His first thoughts were of Mouse as he shooed the noisy creatures from his open window.

He didn’t enjoy the smell of failure -or sweat - that permeated the air around him. He took a sonic shower so fast he would have set a record back on Kamino. 

He focused on the words he’d say to her. The words that would make her see that he was sorry. That his shabla behavior was a fluke that he could and would correct. That he would spend the rest of his life making it up to her if she’d just give him one more chance.

 He pauses as he slips into his armor.

The rest of his life.

He didn’t want her for a moment in time. He wanted her for all time, at his side through whatever life would throw at them. Resolve settles over him, the kind that a lifetime training for battle honed. There’s a certain peace to it.

Darasuum.

Like any good soldier he makes a plan. When she fails to answer her door when he knocks, he goes to plan B. He knocks again. Louder.

When that doesn’t work, he moves on to plan C.

There’s a small cadre of Jedi and Clones eating a quiet breakfast on the veranda. The sun is just peeking over the waterfalls in the distance. Cody and General Secura are speaking in quiet tones over two cups of caf. General Kenobi sits nursing a cup of tea staring out over the placid lake. Like, a sore thumb, Bly sticks out, devouring whatever pastry and fruit had been piled on his plate like he was a cadet late for morning exercises. He looks up in time to see Fox and give him an encouraging smile and a wave over before taking a bite of some sort of plump sausage even Fox found to be too large.

“Vod!” The golden yellow hues of Bly’s facial tattoos seem to glow brighter in the sun. “Su cuy’gar!” he greets happily.

Fox pauses, then pulls out a chair, grabbing a cheese filled pastry from his batch mate’s plate. “Su cuy’gar,” he greets in return. “After the sounds I was hearing last night I wasn’t sure I’d see you in one piece this morning.”

“Don’t be fooled. I’m held together by the Force and a prayer. My Aayl’ika does nothing in halves.”

Fox, even with the pressure of his impending conversation with his own love weighing on his shoulders, can’t help but chuckle as he steals the other Commander’s mug of caf. 

“Oya!”

Bly snatches the mug back and hot caf sloshes over the edges. The commander of the 327th makes a grunt of discomfort before leaning in and sucking the drops of spilt caf from the space between his thumb and index finger.

Fox smothers a laugh with a large bite of pastry. Bly raises an eyebrow before his eyes narrow in on Fox’s mouth.

“I know red is your color,” Bly grabs a napkin and tosses it to Fox, who catches it easily, “but I didn’t believe you were a lipstick man, regardless of color.”

One swipe across his mouth brings back a small smear of star cherry red lipstick. Mouse’s lipstick. He must have missed it in the shower.

“Since I don’t see the lovely dal I’m taking it either went very well or very poorly.”

Fox takes another swipe and places the napkin down when it comes back clean. “It’s a work in progress”

Bly gives him a serious look, the easy going manner from a moment ago pushed to the back burner.

“Tell me, vod. How do you and General Secura-“ Aayla glances up when she hears her name. Fox offers a tight smile. Bly shoots her a wink. “How do you do it?”

“Well you see Fox’ika, when a clone loves a Jedi-“

“Fierfek! Bly I’m being serious!”

“We’re honest with one another” Aayla’s smooth Ryl accent interrupts whatever comment Bly was getting ready to make. She moves gracefully over from her previous spot near Cody. The Marshal Commander has now joined his Jedi staring peacefully out across the water. Fox doesn’t doubt he’s listening in.

He isn’t sure whether he should be thankful for Secura’s intervention or not. Never having had a Jedi of his own, he still has moments where he finds their presence overwhelming. Aayla looks about as intimidating as a loth kitten this morning in leggings and a loose tunic, somehow looking incredibly chic and supremely comfortable all at once. Her eyes find his, searching for something as she sits down next to her Commander. “We’ve had to learn the finer points of communication.” She looks to Bly. Adoration is written across her delicate features as her lekku twitch happily. “We have to be able to trust each other.”

“It’s work,” Bly says, taking Aayla’s hand and placing a soft kiss along her knuckles ,“but we make it work.”

“And after the war?”

Aayla sighs. “We will cross that bridge when we come to it, but I don’t know if my loyalty can remain with the order alone. Once the Force has shown you something-“ she pauses and smiles softly at Fox, “The Force works in mysterious ways, would you agree?”

“General Secura.” Cody’s voice comes from across the veranda because - of course - he was listening, “I believe you forgot to mention respect.”

Aayla smothers a smile. “Oh yes, respect is quite important.”

Fox is very quickly beginning to feel the nonexistent walls close in around him. “Yes. Yes. “ he grumbles, “I’m a lousy di’kut.”

“You said that - not us - Commander,” General Kenobi chimes in without turning his head away from the lake spread out before him.

“Beg your pardon Generals, Commanders, but I don’t need the Force to tell me that I made a fool of myself last night.” He pushes up from his seat, stealing the caf back from Bly and finishing off the dregs. The other Commander makes a disgruntled sound. “Now, if just one of you could point me in the correct direction I have some-

“Groveling?”

“Pleading?”

“Apologizing?”

The voices all mingle together as they chime in and Fox sighs, rubbing his temple.

“Yes, all of that and then some. Just-“ he lets out an exasperated sound “-has anyone seen her?”

——-

Mouse hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Really, she’d just hoped to get away for a bit. She needed to separate herself from the faces that looked so much like his and the sad looks they’d given her as she’d picked at her breakfast.

She needed to know that Fox wasn’t just a few easy steps across the hall. She’d stood with her hands flat against the door too many times for her liking last night. It was only a few steps and she could be wrapped up in him, repercussions be damned.

Mouse wanted to pretend that her ultimatum may not end with a choice she wasn’t happy with. If Fox decided he couldn’t - or wouldn’t - do what she’d asked, well, she wasn’t sure how she’d handle it.

The field, nearly half a klik from the estate, had become a favorite over the last few months. Close enough to the waterfalls to hear the rush of water over the edge - and catch some mist on a windy day - but rarely visited by locals. It was peaceful. 

The summer grasses had easily surpassed the height of her knees weeks ago and - with a little more rain and sunshine - would soon be at her waist. For now it was just long enough to make a makeshift nest when she lay a blanket down. The green stems stood proudly around their brothers and sisters squashed by the worn quilt she spread out. 

The sun shone softly through a sea of gossamer clouds, its rays warm and soothing as she lay down with a datapad to review Padmé’s personhood bill in its entirety. Mouse couldn’t help the pull of sleep. The legalese of the document and warm kiss of sun paired with the sleeplessness from the night before had her first drowsing then, finally, blessedly sleeping sheltered from the world and her problems that lay outside her ring of softly swaying pastoral grass and millaflowers.

Her dreams begin as nothing in particular. Another blessing in disguise. Nothing bad troubles her sleep, though nothing good brings tenderness either. Instead she catches glimpses of Coruscant, of Fox and the other boys of the Guard, of a tiny green-skinned twi’lek girl. Images of Luke and Leia older and toddling around with their mother and father laughing and following behind them. Slowly, the boys are filtered out, then the Amidala-Skywalker clan, even little Me’kar fades away. All of it is gone and Mouse finds herself alone in front of a tiny cottage. It has a vegetable garden along one side and rows of flowers along the other. She hears her name whispered softly, the warm rumble of it so familiar.

“Mouse.”

“Mouse”

“Mouse.”

Her eyes flutter open, and she squints into sun spilling around a vaguely humanoid shape while her eyes attempt to adjust to the sudden change. 

“I’ve been looking all over for you.” 

Fox.

She’d know his voice anywhere. Hope springs to life in her chest. He’d come to find her. Surely that had to be a good thing, right? She moves to stand, getting as far as sitting before he makes a disgruntled sound and angles himself down and onto her blanket. She watches him look around, his head barely above the tall grasses surrounding them. His gaze moves to her discarded shoes and bare feet, slowly traveling up over her calves where her dress has ridden up in her sleep. She blinks, trying to push the residual fog of sleep from her head. Fox’s gloved hand reaches out and skims over her ankle. That electric spark she’d felt at his touch last night is still there.

“Fox?” He won’t look her in the eyes. The feeling of his touch is missed when he pulls his hand away. “Fox-“ she tries again, hiding and failing to hide the slight quiver in her voice.

He holds his hand up. “I have things to say and I need you to listen to every one. I’m- I’m not sure if you’re going to like what I have to say.”

Mouse nods slowly. He’s more his namesake now, more animal than she’s ever seen him. She moves slowly to rise to her knees, afraid the wrong move, a sudden quick one, will see him breaking away.

“I can do that,” she offers slowly. Fear at what he has to say leaves a thick knot in her stomach. “If we’re going to do this, though, I need to see your eyes. Ok?”

Fox makes another sound, a small grunt of assent as she rises on her knees and puts her hands to either side of his bucket. She releases the locks, hears the gentle hiss of release. His features are schooled when she lifts it off, but she knows her Fox. Whatever he has to say is eating at him. She can see it in the dark circles that rest underneath his eyes, the exhaustion that looks almost permanent in the soft brown eyes she adores so much. Always the caregiver, she fights the urge to pull him down, make him lay his head in her lap. She wants to card her fingers through the new growth of hair, brush through the locks that were just beginning to curl and swirl at the ends until he falls asleep. 

But she also needs to know what he has to say. She needs her answer so her heart can shatter or mend because whatever it is, there will be no in between. Not with him. Not with them.

She watches him swallow, look at the sky and the soft clouds above them before bringing his attention back to her.

“I’ve made mistakes in my life,” he begins, “Some of them widely known. You- you are the mistake I regret the most.”

Mouse attempts to turn away, but she can’t. His words- it feels like she’s watching a hover train come off the rails in slow motion. Fox glances down at his hands, squeezes them into fists.

“I-“ his eyes travel back to hers, pinning her in place “I’ve called you my precious girl more times than I can remember, because to me you are the most precious gift the maker has ever deemed fit to give me. But you're not a girl. You’re a woman,. A smart, strong, caring woman and I called you a girl. When things got hard, I treated you like one, like I had never made a mistake, like I knew what was best for the both of us.”

Mouse can see it in the little ways he moves, the clench of his fingers and the way his eyes trail to her shoulder, the scar covered by the thin summer dress, that it is taking everything for him to muscle through this.

“Fox, why are you saying this?”

“Because I need you to know.” His jaw is set in a sharp line. “I need you to know that I’ve thought about you every day since you left Coruscant, that I dream about you every night. I need you to know that I’m afraid to be around you, that even with the chip gone and that- that hut’uun,” spitting the word out as if it tastes bad in his mouth, “dead, I’m scared that it’s not enough, that someone is going to say the wrong thing and I’m going to do something you won’t come back from - and there’ll be no field of wildflowers for me to find you sleeping in, because you’ll be dead and it will be my fault”

Mouse grabs his hand, forces her fingers between his until he relents and lets her hold it. Her other reaches up, strokes along his right temple and feels the telltale ridge of scar under her fingers.

“Listen to me.” It’s a firm order and his eyes go a little wide. “You are not a bad man. You never have been. You never will be. You are the reason I’m alive. Your will, your strength kept you from making a shot I know for a fact you could make in your sleep. The scars I bear are your love brought to life.”

Fox shakes his head quickly. “That is sick, cyar’ika, you were-“ 

It’s Mouse’s turn to make a sound of discontentment as she pulls at the collar of her dress, stretching it out and down around her shoulder. “Look at it,” she demands. When he hesitates, she places his hand on it, holds it down with her own. “It’s just skin, just flesh over bone. Do you think Palpatine would have allowed me to live even if you hadn’t been the one to do it?”

Her hand slides his down to her chest where she holds it high on her left breast. “This has always been yours. Do you feel it?”

Fox’s fingers twitch over her racing heart. She had to make him see. Even if this was the last moment they were ever together, he had to leave without the guilt. “This has always been yours,” she repeats again, “You protected it and I’m alive because of it.”

Fox pulls away from her with a rough exhale, shaking his head. Mouse lowers herself, sitting on her feet, pretending she doesn’t feel the pins and needles building in them. He won’t look at her as she adjusts the neck of her dress back. She’s failed. The sudden realization hits with such certainty. She was going to lose him for good.

“You are so warm. You draw people to you and take them in, claim them as yours and care for them. You’ve never seen myself or any of the other Guard as just clones. From day one you spoke to each and every trooper you met as an individual. You’ve always tried to help and for some reason I was the one lucky enough to have you helping me. Even when I was acting like osik. Even when I was gruff and dismissive. You dealt with me-“

“-And I loved you” 

Love her head screams at her to correct but she doesn’t. Fox nods.

“Someone else will come along and they’ll love you with everything they have to give.”

Mouse feels a sharp pain in her chest and tries to turn away. Fox’s curled finger catches under her chin and brings her eyes back up to his. Mouse sees something steely in their warm depths.

“They’ll give you the world. Everything I can’t. But you know what?” He lets the question hang in the air for a moment. “I don’t want anyone else to love you. That’s my job. I don’t want to lose you and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I ever put you in a position to think otherwise.”

Relief, warm and fluid fills her veins as tears threaten at the corners of her eyes. Fox watches with slow building panic.

“I- please don’t cry.”

Mouse laughs then and leans up, capturing his lips in a chaste kiss that he doesn’t respond to immediately. When she pulls back, he looks pleasantly bewildered.

“I’m not sad.” She wipes aggressively at a tear rolling down her cheek. “These are happy.”

Fox’s hands cup her cheeks, his thumb brushing away another stray tears. “Well if that’s all…”

 He leans in and captures her mouth in another sweet, delicate kiss, pours his love into it until it’s spilling over and Mouse thinks she could happily drown in the feel of it. 

When she attempts to deepen the kiss, he pulls back. Mouse bites the inside of her cheek to stop a whine from escaping.

“My self control is negligible at this point.” Fox manages a strained laugh while he cradles her face. “I don’t want to rush-“

Mouse presses forward and kisses him hard, sharp teeth nipping just this side of painful along his lower lip. The growl she’s missed over the last few months rumbles in his chest.

When she pulls back, letting his lip slip between her teeth, she can’t help but appreciate the way his eyes have darkened. His hands fall down to her hips and he stares. Just stares into her eyes, searching for something. Mouse doesn’t look away.

“You want to do this right here?” His voice is thick with the familiar gravel of lust and Mouse feels a wave of heat ripple through her body. Right here, on the blanket in the warm sun where anyone could see. There’s a certain thrill to that thought. She swallows thickly. 

“We need to slow down,” Fox repeats.

“Are you saying that for you or me? Because I’ve been waiting months to touch you,” she admits. If possible, Fox’s eyes darken more at the admission. She’s always loved his durasteel will, but right now Mouse found it more than a little irritating. 

“Cyar’ika.” His tone is warm, but the warning underneath is very clear. Ok. Fine. She could go a bit longer. 

“Can I show you something?”

A smile pulls at the corner of his mouth as his thumbs brush small light circles over her dress. 

“I suppose it depends on what you're trying to show me.” 

Mouse leans forward and the pair meet in a slow kiss, just a soft press of their mouths that neither can seem to deny. She murmurs against his lips when she pulls back. 

“Come with me.”

——-

Link to part 2/2 here

[jedimasterbailey]

Below is another sneak preview of my “The Padawans” fic. Next chapter up should be by tomorrow! With the help of Quinlan Vos confronts her inner darkness and learns to let go of her past in order become the Jedi she was always meant to be 💙 Link to the fic below! Thank you @devondeal for helping out this story together 😊

Side note: How epic would it be to see Barriss confront a Sith version of herself?

You want me to do what now?” Barriss nervously asks.

The two Jedi were sitting cross legged across from each other inside the cave Quinlan has taken residence in. They had just returned from a morning Jar’kai training session as Barriss admitted to needing some refinement in wielding two lightsabers. Quinlan’s lessons were as tough as his looks as Barriss’s body ached in a way she hadn’t felt since her early lightsaber training days. She had hoped they would take a break and talk more about the mission at hand, but the Jedi Master had other plans.

Quinlan raises a brow, “Meditate. You haven’t been doing that have you?”

Barriss shakes her head,“Not since the trail. I tried once in my cell and it felt...so dark....cold...I couldn’t go through with it. It’s almost as if the dark side is a disease I injected myself with, it has yet to go away.”

Quinlan sighs,“I understand what you mean. I only just got rid of it just before you arrived.”

“Really? Even with my Master’s help?” Barriss asks, surprised. If there was anyone that could soothe anyone’s aching spirit, it was Luminara. It’s what Barriss adored the most about her Master. The older Mirilan’s calming voice and demeanor is what kept Barriss grounded through her apprenticeship.

Quinlan takes a long drink from his flask before answering. He then looked Barriss straight in the eye, his expression unreadable.

“Yeah...you see kid, the darkness came to us when we decided to not take control of something we had no business in. We made the easy choice, the one that felt right in the moment, but we failed to consider the consequences. There’s a reason why the ancient Sith died young or were sickly looking. It’s because the dark side of the Force is corrosive. To be fueled with rage and fear non-stop takes a toll on the body and soul.”

“Even when I returned to the Order, I still felt the darkness in me. I couldn’t meditate without being reminded of my sins and I was quick to anger on the battlefield. When I felt Aayla die...I completely lost it. I killed every single Clone within my reach, forgetting that these were men I considered to be my friends. I never considered the possibility that there was something bigger at play because the dark side doesn’t allow you to think clearly. I was completely blind to everything and had I had my head screwed on tight, maybe I could have saved Luminara.”

“When I finally came to, the guilt and grief was overwhelming, so overwhelming that I completely cut myself off from the Force and from my mind. I mean could you really blame me? I lost my Padawan and every one I loved just like that! And for what?! What was the point of any of it?! All the sacrifices we made all those years were all for nothing. I became a monster for nothing. We were all just pawns in Palpatine’s game.”

“I lived off the land for a while until I found a Wookie settlement not too far from here, that’s where I’ve been getting my supplies and food. I was content with just going through the motions. I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t feel nice to just be free from everything, to pretend I was never a Jedi or Sith or a war general. But the void was always there. It wasn't until I had a vision of Luminara being tortured in an Imperial cell that I realized that I needed to set things right for her. “

“So I confronted my past and refused to give up until I made peace with it. It was the most painful and difficult challenge I’ve ever taken on, but it’s worth it. I can’t undo what I’ve done, but I can decide how to live going forward. What got me through it was the promise I made to myself. I’m going to live the life that was taken away from my Aayla. Be a good man and help where I can. It’s the best way to celebrate her memory.”

“And then you came along and now I know how to repay Luminara back for all she’s done for me. Pass on what I’ve learned to her student so that she can be the Jedi the galaxy needs right now. You are Luminara’s only hope.” Quinlan finishes with a smile.

“You don’t believe you could save her?” Barriss says despite knowing the answer.

“You and I both know that only you could set your Master free.” Quinlan replies sincerely.

The validation weighed heavy on Barriss. As determined as she was to rescue her Master, the Padawan was still anxious on the obstacles she may face. Barriss owed it to Luminara to be successful. She needed her Master to know how much her apprentice loved her.

Quinlan breaks the silence,“I’m not sure what kind of evil you’re gonna face, but I know one things for sure. You’re gonna have to master the hardest lesson a Jedi ever has to learn, to let go. If you can’t let go of your guilt, your shame, your anger; you will not be successful. The Empire is counting on you to lose yourself to your emotions again. Make peace with your demons and you’ll become more powerful than their best fighter. That is how one grows from a Padawan to a Knight.”

“A Knight?” Barriss squeaked.

Quinlan nods, “Yes, Barriss. If I can return as a Jedi Master, there’s no reason why you can’t be a Knight. It’s time to complete your training Padawan, welcome to the beginning of your trails.”

“The Trail of Spirit.” Barriss concludes now that Quinlan’s meditation request made more sense.

“Exactly. You won’t be able to conquer the other ones until you’ve passed this one.”

With a deep breath Barriss accepts the challenge. Besides wanting to be reunited with her loved ones, Barriss’s greatest desire has been to rid herself of her past deeds despite feeling unworthy of redemption. Only now after hearing Quinlan’s story did Barriss feel ready to try.

“Tell me what I have to do.”

“Give yourself into the darkness and face your fears. Luminara is counting on your success, remember that. I’ll be right beside you the whole time.” Quinlan instructs, squeezing one of Barriss’s hands.

“And if I fail?” Barriss asks, chewing her lip.

“You’ll only fail if you allow for it and I know Luminara did not raise a quitter.” Quinlan reassures with a wink.

“May the Force be with me.” Barriss says, gripping tightly onto her knees.

“It always is.” Quinlan gently reminds.

Not even thirty seconds after Barriss closed her eyes and took her first deep breath, she was brutally reminded why she had avoided meditation all this time. The faces of all the Jedi killed in the bombing came to view as the voice of Anakin rang in her mind.

“Ahsoka trusted you!”

“Traitor!”

Her blood then ran cold as the all too familiar dark side energy began to fill her being. It was as if someone was squeezing her very heart with both hands making it hard to breathe as the pain was staggering. Barriss then snaps her eyes open and shakes her head, breathing hard as if someone were just choking her.

“I can’t do this!” Barriss pants, the darkness still brewing inside.

“Yes, you can.” Quinlan says sympathetically, gripping Barriss’s shoulders. “I know it’s hard, but you have to accept the pain. Whether you like it or not, it’s there. If you keep running from it, it will only fester. You just have to breathe through it and then you’ll be able to fight it. Now try again, I’ll breathe with you….trust me.”

With a weak nod, Barriss pulls herself back into position and begins to breathe deeply again, hissing through the ache blossoming from her chest. She could barely hear Quinlan’s own breathing over Ahsoka’s voice repeating the very line that has been a thorn in her heart since she first heard it back in the Jedi Temple. It was these words that replayed when she dueled the Togruta in the underbelly of Coruscant and what caused the thousands of tears she shed in her prison cell.

“...this woman is going to pay for what she did!”

Ahsoka had said this after Barriss tried to open up to her after the memorial service honoring the Jedi she accidentally killed. With Luminara gone and her sanity slipping more with each day, Barriss had hoped she could release to someone she thought wouldn’t judge her too harshly. A large part of Barriss believed that her one friend, the woman she grew to love, would have held that space for her, but she was wrong. Anakin’s hypocritical advice blinded Ahsoka to her silent plea for help. Although Barriss did not blame Ahsoka for feeling the way she did at the time, the words still stung nonetheless. Had Ahsoka been more receptive, Barriss was positive she would have confessed to her crimes right then and there.

But what’s done was done and now Barriss was left to relive that moment and hear those words over and over. The pressure in her chest has yet to let up as hot tears began to stream down olive cheeks as Barriss continued to breathe through it. Right before Barriss was about to give up, she remembered what Quinlan had said before her second attempt.

“...you have to accept the pain.”

Barriss then reached an epiphany. She allowed her muscles to relax and stopped crying, blocking out the sadness her memories ensued. As if she were falling backwards into a bed, Barriss allows herself to face the darkness she’s been shoving down for so long. In her mind’s eye, an image of Ahsoka looking at her after Anakin announces her guilt to the court appears, looking just as vulnerable and hurt as she remembered.

“Barriss? Is that true?” Ahsoka’s voice asks.

Barriss then said the answer she wanted to say at that time, but couldn’t.

“Yes, Ahsoka. It was me. I made a selfish decision and because of it I ended up hurting the very people I was trying to protect.”

Barriss then no longer felt the pressure or the cold and Ahsoka’s face disappeared. A new vision began to unfold into what looked to be a throne room. Though Barriss had never been anywhere like it, the space felt familiar. The grandious hall was dark with only moonlight peeking through the circular window that was behind a large black chair that was turned backward. Beneath her feet was a long blood red rug that ran up the steps to the seat, matching the large tapestries that hung from massive pillars.

“Welcome home.” a cool voice hissed from behind the throne.

“Home?” Barriss questions, her hand resting on top of her lightsaber hilt.

The chair then turns to reveal what appeared to be a clone of herself causing Barriss’s breath to hitch at the sight. Unlike Barriss, her duplicate peered at her with bright yellow eyes that shone brighter the moons in the sky complete with sunken cheeks and a paler green skin tone with purplish veins that pulsated just underneath the skin. Instead of Barriss’s usual blue hood, the darker version of herself wore a red one, with a more revealing, flowy black dress underneath. Her heart shaped belt was replaced with a solid black one with two lightsabers hanging from it. Barriss became nauseated, recognizing the lightsaber hilts to be Ahsoka’s white sabers.

The Dark Barriss then rose from her throne with a wide grin, “Why yes, don’t you recognize it? We grew up here!”

Barriss’s jaw and heart dropped now realizing that she was back in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, a renovated one.

“What are you?” Barriss asks shakily as her twin walks toward her, her long dark hair floating in the air like her skirt and cloak.

The clone laughs, “I’m what you know you could become. You’ve done a superb job ignoring me, but you see… you need me more than you think.”

Scrunching her face in disgust, Barriss scoffs, “If you think I’m going to give into the dark side again and become a Sith, you are sadly mistaken. I am here to end this!”

Sith Barriss cackles, “You are a fool if you really think you can still be a Jedi! Have you forgotten that the Order failed you? That Ahsoka abandoned you? That you're responsible for the death of innocents? But you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, they all deserved it.”

Before Barriss could retort, the Sith continued to speak, “It was the Order who made us into a soldier and kept our Master away from us. It was the Council who didn’t trust us or respect us. They only cared about their precious “Chosen One” and his friends. You were suffering and no one cared! Not even Ahsoka! We gave everything to the Order and for what? Nothing!”

“You’re wrong! Ahsoka cared and so did Luminara!” Barriss argues, swallowing a massive lump in her throat.

“Need I remind you that Ahsoka only rescued because she was ordered to?” her counterpart sneers.

Barriss deflates, “She could have rejected the request.”

“And lose her only protection against the Empire?” Sith Barriss snickers. “No. To Ahsoka, we are nothing more than a heartbreaking reminder of her past. We’re the reason why she lost everything. She could never love us the way we love her!”

Barriss couldn’t argue against her clone’s words as Ahsoka confirmed them when they argued during their journey to Dantooine. She just wasn’t sure if she could really go through the rest of life without Ahsoka being a part of it or worse, if Ahsoka did fall in love with another and cut Barriss completely from her life.

A cold hand caresses her face, forcing Barriss to look at her darker self once more, “It hurts doesn’t it? To know that after everything you’ve done for her, she could still leave us behind. It’s unfair… that’s why we need to do what must be done to make it all better.”

“I will not kill Ahsoka.” Barriss affirms, slapping the hand away from her face.

“Oh, but you will.” Dark Barriss replies, circling Barriss as she spoke. “She deserves it after what she’s said to us! If our love isn’t good enough for her, then she’s of no use to us! You can keep lying to yourself that you can go on without Ahsoka’s affections, but there is one thing you cannot deny. If you fail your mission, if Luminara dies… you will never forgive yourself.”

Barriss bows her head, “No… I will save her...I will not fail…”

“You will, it has already been foreseen.”

Barriss’s head shoots back up, “What do you mean?”

“The galaxy is under the control of two Sith lords; the Emperor and his apprentice. They are the ones holding Luminara hostage. They torture her just to get your attention and once you fall into their trap, they will kill her. You don’t have the power to eliminate them both...not yet at least.”

“The dark side of the Force is a pathway that may be unnatural, but it has its rewards. If you let me in, you can overthrow them both and ensure Luminara’s safety. It is the only way. You wouldn’t want to fail your Master again, do you?” probed Dark Barriss.

Now, Barriss was at a loss for words. She was not ready to face the possibility of Luminara dying. They needed to reconcile, Barriss had to prove to her Master’s that her decisions were her own and not her mentor’s. Turning to the dark side again would completely ruin her chances of earning forgiveness.

“You’re implying that my Master would want that for me.No! I will not let you in!” Barriss shouts with resolve, igniting her blue lightsaber. “I will rescue her without you and if I die trying then so be it!”

Gold eyes narrowed as Dark Barriss then snapped her fingers, causing two Stormtroopers to walk in with a shackled Ahsoka.

“Ahsoka!” Barriss cries out, her heart breaking at the amount of physical injuries the Togruta had.

Ahsoka then repeated the same lines Barriss once told her when she was possessed by a Geonosian parasite.

“Kill me… please….”

“I won’t!” Barriss says glaring back at her double.

“If Luminara isn’t enough for you to agree, then perhaps this will!” Dark Barriss threatens before raising a hand to Ahsoka. A red glow radiates from the hand causing Ahsoka’s life force to wither away.

“NO!” Barriss screams, clashing against the twin red blades her dark self wielded.

Her opponent then began to laugh again. With every strike and blow to their surrounding environment, Dark Barriss’s amusement grew. After what seemed to be an eternity of dueling, the dark side wielded raised Barriss into a choke hold.

Gasping for air, Barriss quickly came to her senses and realized what she was doing. She was making the same mistake she made the day Letta died. She was allowing her emotions to dictate her thoughts instead of making peace with them.

“It’s over Barriss. You have relinquished control over to me, you failed. You can kiss your dreams of redemption goodbye.”

Knowing exactly how to outsmart her enemy, Barriss lets her body go limp and closes her eyes to give the impression of defeat. She is then released, falling to the ground. Assuming that Barriss was no longer in control, the dark entity drops down to beginning fusing itself with Barriss’s body. A green lightsaber blade hidden from Dark Barriss’s view then spears her midsection causing the world around them to begin fading away.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” Dark Barriss screams before disappearing.

With a smile Barriss confesses, “I’ve let go. I cannot change what I’ve done and I still have a lot to learn, but none of that is worth turning to the dark side. I will free my Master and I will cherish Ahsoka’s presence in my life regardless of how she feels about me. I’m a Jedi and I won’t anyone or anything take that from me again, including myself.”

Barriss then wakes up to a worried Quinlan hovering over her. A significant amount of time had passed as Barriss could see stars outside the cave entrance. Despite her clothes being drenched in sweat from the day’s events and her body feeling stiff from laying on stone for several hours, Barriss never felt lighter. The weight that she had felt for nearly two years was finally gone.

“You alright kid?” Quinlan asks, offering a hand to Barriss.

Looking more serene than the Jedi Master has ever seen her, Barriss answers, “Never better.”

[tragedy-for-sale]

Forgotten drafts

I have more discarded paragraphs to dump on you. From no one specific, just wanted to clean out my drafts. :P most of these are actually Obi-Wan and Anakin.

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

You two argue, saying 'You could have died' while my men are saying, 'You could have lived,"' Both Jedi perked up, letting their anger fall, "You two have a reputation of doing the impossible, these men know that, our men die to help you accomplish that, and they never yell at each other, never question why 'I' lived when 'you' died, the two of you have never lost each other, Ahsoka is still alive but you chose to argue about why?"

"Anakin! Cody is my Commander and if he is going to be punished, I will punish him! Stop acting as if this is any of your business!" Anakin's eyes narrowed at Obi-Wan's flustered face, a small smirk of disbelief found its place on Anakin's face, "Now what in the galaxy are you smirking for?"

" I can't believe you," Anakin shook his head, "I really can't believe you, you're such a damn hypocrite!"

The two sat side by side, staring at the city of Coruscant from the room of the Jedi Temple. This was their spot, Obi-Wan had always brought Anakin here, when he was angry at himself or at Obi-Wan. When they were sad and missing home, when they needed a moment, or if they just wanted to be alone. They came to the roof. They always had, and they always would. When they were up here, they never spoke, they didn't have to acknowledge the other, but they couldn't leave the other. So there they were, sitting, Obi-Wan's head resting on Anakin's shoulder, as he stared to the horizon. Watching the dark clouds in the distance, Anakin knew it would rain, he only hoped it would come before they went back inside. Obi-Wan loved the rain. Anakin needed it to rain, he needed Obi-Wan to smile, and the rain would do that, it would make his master smile and that would make Anakin smile.

Being alone had never bothered Rex, but right now, it did. He was in isolation, a bubble, and he was going insane. Aside from the medic droid, he was alone all day, General Skywalker, despite being on Naboo, had yet to visit him, even though he was less than an hour away. General Kenobi had stopped by, but Rex had pushed him away, for he only came because Cody couldn't. So the Captain was alone, all day, everyday. Even when visitors were finally allowed in his room, no one came. So he spent his days laying in bed and sleeping. For what else could he do?

"The temple is beautiful in the morning" Bly thought to himself. The Commander sat not as a commander, not as a soldier, but as a man, a husband. He always woke up so early, but he didn't mind, he found peace in just sitting on the bed listening to Aayla's quiet snores. "Aayla is beautiful in the morning." He couldn't help but to smile as he saw her, turning to look at her, his breath was taken away and he was smiling like such a goof. He really couldn't believe Aayla Secura had fallen for him, of all people. 'Plain old me'

"I miss Qui-Gon!" Obi-Wan exclaimed in a cry, forcing a chuckle. "I miss him everyday, every damn day I miss him!" Obi-Wan cried, head looking down as he took a shaky breath.

"Whether we want it to happen or not, all Jedi view their masters as a parental figure, me with you, and Qui-Gon and myself. I was young when he died, I wasn't ready to be a master, or to be anyone's father." Bitterly, Obi-Wan chuckled as he stood up, turning his back from Anakin, "I wasn't ready to raise you, Anakin, you were a child, but so was I! So was I!" Obi-Wan screamed, his face red from rage, "But I did it anyway, do you want me to apologize for that? Fine! I'm sorry I didn't know what I was doing, I'm sorry I wasn't older, I'm sorry you can't forgive my mistakes," Obi-Wan had made his way to the door. He was done talking, "I'm sorry I'm not perfect, Anakin, I really did try my best and I'm sorry that wasn't enough," Obi-Wan spoke in his normal tone, he opened the door and before he stepped out, he turned his head to glance to Anakin, "But most of all," he paused, "I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you."

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

|| Tag List ||

@ct7567329 @a-lil-perspective @mageofcole @advcntura @crying-at-ikea @stuckyjacos @crahsystor @obiorbenkenobi @satan-incarnate-666 @kalm421 @passionofthesith @mackstrut @flyingfreeyt @jonathananubian @kamino-mermaid

[nimsajlove]

Brothers VI

Done! Now I can die in piece, I have posted my first complete fanfic in english and it was kinda hard. But hey, thats what I was asking for I guess...

Brothers-AU  Ao3

Part I , Part V

*~*

How did they got into this situation? When had the Separatist army gained such strength and why the hell had the Chancellor suddenly turned against the Jedi? And how could there be Jedi, who had sided with him? She stood in the hangar of her cruiser and looked at the remnants of her troops, they had just escaped the lost battle and were now fleeing across hyperspace, jumping from one point to the next and trying to cover as much distance as possible. In her hand was a datapad, a list of the Jedi who might still be alive. But who should she rush to, to help? "Let's take care of the wounded... and Kix!" The clone looked at her again as he left. "Be prepared that we won’t get reinforcements.", she said softly and he nodded, his face darkened and she turned around and hurried to the bridge. Before she and the men could make a decision, she had a few things to check of on her list.

At her destination, Fives was already under one of the control units, Echo was sitting next to him and had fixed his gaze on a datapad. "Do you already have deleted the identification number?“, he asked his brother and she could hear the annoyed snort from Fives, as she came closer and crouched down next to Echo. "I'll take that as a no?", she joined in the conversation and Fives startled, wanted to sit up and rammed his head into the control console. "Please announce yourself!", he cursed and rubbed his head, Ahsoka had to laugh and Echo couldn't suppress a smile either, despite the current situation. Since their hasty escape she had thrown the protocol overboard; the close bond between them all might be of use to them today. She didn't want to suppress these feelings. “Of course I haven't done that yet! I'm still at the controls, I'm trying to reduce the number of men we need up here.”, Fives growled and disappeared again, into the tangle of cables. Ahsoka nodded, that was good. They still had enough men to manage the cruiser, but it was better if they could reduce the number of men on the vulnerable bridge. "Good, then I'll delete the other data.", she announced and patted Echo on the shoulder, before getting to work. 

After a few hours, a lot of caffeine and two outbursts, thanks to the well-encrypted technology, Ahsoka was sitting cross-legged on the bridge on the floor, another coffee in one hand and the datapad in the other. She had tried to contact other Jedi. Cody had been able to reach her, he was lucky. Master Kenobi had defeated General Grievous and they hadn't noticed much, except that most of the communication channels had been blocked. From the Chancellor! “Unsettling. How is Master Kenobi?“, she asked and Cody laughed. “Oh great. He can’t stop cursing, so it can’t be that bad.", he joked, in the background she could hear the voice of the Jedi, his accent more harsch then ever, and it conjured a smile on her face! "That‘s good. You should move as soon as possible, who knows what else they'll be sending to you.”, she adviced and Cody promised to heed it. He would send her a message, when they reached a new location. 

Aayla Secura she had actually reached personally, the Jedi Master and her Commander Bly did not hesitate to believe her. "Are you safe?", asked the Jedi after giving the order to the men, to move out. Ahsoka shrugged at this. "As safe as we can be right now, we're heading for the next stop and let's see where we are going then.", she said, without wanting to reveal too much about her position. Because who could she really trust? And the connection wasn't the safest either. There was one thing Aayla doubted. "And you are sure that there are Jedi who..." Ahsoka nodded firmly and knitted her eyebrows. “Yes, we escaped from one ourselves. I don't know who, but clearly faster than me. We lost a lot of men before we got out of there.”, she sighed and the Jedi Master's face turned pitying. "Then we'll hurry up, good luck Ahsoka. May the Force be with you."

Since saying goodbye to Master Secura, she sat there and stared at the information available, she would probably have to change course... The door behind her slid open and steps came towards her. Jesse, Fives, and Echo sat down next to her. Rex stopped and looked over her shoulder, she knew that he would not be able to sit down in such a situation. "I want to make a suggestion to you.", she began and immediately had the undivided attention of her brothers. "Where do you want to go?", asked Fives, glancing at the datapad. Ahsoka willingly passed the information around and looked, once again, at her missing fingers. “I would like to search for Master Plo on Cato Neimoidia, the last known signal came from him and Wolffe. They reported a crash and have since disappeared from the scene, but I can't imagine they're dead.” She scratched the back of her head and sighed. "I hope, I would have felt that.", she mumbled and got goose bumps, in the last few hours she had become colder and colder. Whenever she felt a Jedi fall silent, the temperature seemed to drop. She had known some voices personally, and had never consciously perceived others. 

It was hard not to succumb to her debilitating effects, but somehow it helped her to know that there were still men to fight with. 

She hadn't been able to establish contact with Anakin, but as long as Obi-Wan Kenobi was still conscious he would look for his former padawan. "Then let's look for them.", Echo smiled and Ahsoka breathed a sigh of relief, Jesse nodded in agreement and she began to get up. Then she looked at Rex, he looked worried. "That could be full of Seperatists and maybe some other Jedi.", he pointed out, but didn't cancel the plan. "I already know something.", she smiled and began to enter the new data.

They jumped out of hyperspace and Ahsoka took a deep breath, there were no separatist ships over this part of the planet. "We have to get as close to the surface as possible, maybe clouds and atmosphere can hide us.", she smiled and the men obeyed, even if Rex rolled his eyes. "Lucky kid.", he muttered and she nudged his shoulder, grinning softly. 

* ~ * 

It was so warm and wet! Puffing, Ahsoka fanned herself some air and looked around, everywhere water and rocks. And yet her gut feeling pulled her further in that direction. "And, already discovered something?", she called upwards and watched, as one of the men stood on one of the rocks and searched the area. “The enemy doesn't seem to be here either… But there is something over there!", he reported and pointed with his arm to the east. Her instinct also pointed in that direction and she quickened her pace. 

Her little squadron followed her, the Chaos Troop and her other brothers had stayed on the cruiser. They protested, except for Rex. He understood, that she needed someone in charge if the cruiser had to flee.

It wasn't long, before she saw a small group of people on one of the stone arches fighting their way across the rough terrain. She screwed up her eyes and searched the group, then spotted Plo Koon at their end and formed her hands into a funnel at her mouth. "Master Plo!", she yelled over and the group stopped, looked around. Ahsoka immediately found a path to get to the stone arch. But when she finally got there, the guns turned on her. Behind her she could hear her men bringing their weapons up too and she raised her hands reassuringly. "Master Plo, I'm so glad you and your men are still alive.", she said with an honest smile and Plo Koon looked at her for a few seconds, then he gestured for the men to lower their weapons and Ahsoka smiled reassuringly at her squadron, the men relaxed again. The Jedi Master came over to her and looked as calm as ever, although his robes were a bit charred and stank of smoke. “Ahsoka, how nice. Forgive my men. We got into a somewhat… unexpected situation.” Ahsoka started to laugh, it wasn't really funny, but the joy of seeing the Jedi and the clones on their feet whitewashed any fear. "Who do you tell that? This is not the first time for me today.“, she sighed happily and called the gunships. 

* ~ * 

The grief was immense, none of the Jedi had endured near her any longer after the funeral. With slightly trembling hands and heavily pounding heart, she sat on one of the terraces of the temple and stretched her face into the warm sunlight, tried to take in some strength and get up again. The image of those terrifying eyes still danced in front of her closed eyelids, one look into them was enough to burn them into her memory forever. She had seen with her own eyes, the path that bonds might lead. But there was more, that soft stinging in her chest... 

"Don't blame yourself.", it rang out from behind her and she opened her eyes, but did not turn her head. Only when the other Jedi sat down next to her with a deep sigh, she dared a look to the side, he looked so old. As if the last few hours had aged him by decades. Of course it wasn't gray or anything, but the line around Obi-Wan Kenobi's eyes gave her that impression and made her even sadder. “I should have kept closer contact with him. Maybe, if the Chancellor did not have had such a big influence on him, then…", she revealed her thoughts and then looked at the arms of the Jedi Master. Two tiny, sleeping bundles lay there and despite the sadness that took her breath away, she smiled. They were so cute… 

“Neither of us could have helped him where he was going. And you had to help yourself, your path has not been particularly gentle so far.", Obi-Wan pointed out and although she wanted to protest, she had to agree with him. Lost in thought, she stretched out her left hand and the little boy wrapped his around her little finger, she was a little surprised by the strength in the tiny fingers.

"Maybe, I should have talked him out of all of this with...", Obi-Wan began, but now Ahsoka shook her head. “None of us can get away of bonding with someone. I think it's our choice, how we want to cherish it.", she muttered. She didn't mean to think badly of Anakin, but the loss of so many Jedi and clones ran deep. She had realized, that every being came to such a point, at some point. Where you would lose someone and learn to live with it. Anakin had decided to let his fear and anger over the unfair fate win. She wouldn't, even if his death and the one of Padme had certainly not been fair! She would try to honor him as the kind and ambitious Master in her mind and not let the more terrible thoughts cover this image.

It was her, who stormed into the temple with the Jedi she had picked up, and found a trace of destruction. It was her strong, emphatic talent that led her to the crime scene only a few seconds late. She hadn't been able to save the children, but she had redeemed her Master after Padme had stood in the way. At least that was how Plo Koon had put it. The wording didn't really match what she had done and she picked up her weapons, looked at them for a while and then pressed them into Obi-Wan's hand, he now clasped the two swords and the children. 

"I don't want to wield the murder weapon any longer, there is too much blood on it.", she sighed and suddenly a knot in her stomach, that she hadn't known about until then, loosened. "Are you sure?", the experienced Jedi asked suspiciously, but she nodded. “Yes, it's a good thing. I don't deserve them any longer.", she sighed and looked up at the sun again, her heart was a little lighter. "And what are you going to do without a weapon?" She shrugged. "Time will tell."

After saying this, Obi Wan waited a few seconds before he got up and left her alone. She just sat there for hours. Only at sunset did company join her again. Rex dropped down next to her with a grunt, she sensed that a few others were waiting at the entrance. "Here, eat.", he said, handing her a meal. She looked at it and gave a short laugh, that let the others come closer and sit down next to her. "But that's not from the temple!", she grinned and pushed the bottle of alcohol into Heavy's hand to open it for her. Then she went to work on the ration from the clone canteen, her brothers laughed. "No, we figured that you might be able to do without that little bit of what they call food.", Jesse grinned and she nodded with a sigh, before devouring the rest in record time. She hadn't realized she was hungry at all. "What's next?", Rex asked after she had finished eating and leaned back with a sigh, her back hitting Echo's side. She closed her eyes. "No idea, but we will know soon.", she mumbled, her stomach twitched in confirmation and then she heard a throat clearing behind her, she recognized Plo Koon immediately and looked over at him. His face was friendly, but Master Windu wasn't. Even though she and the Jedi got along, they would never be able to bring their views to the same level. 

"The other members of the council have made a decision and I hope you will accept it.", Plo Koon announced and she got to her feet after all, it seemed to be more important than initially assumed. "And that would be?", she asked, her tone lurking. Had the Jedi Masters decided to start a conflict again? "We want to learn from your point of view and we offer you a seat.", Windu contributed and she could actually see the hint of a smile as he held out a lightsaber towards her. She hesitated before grabbing it, there was a tingling in her fingers. She activated it and was blinded when it lit up white, and seemed to be singing. 

* ~ * 

She watched the child. The boy jumped around excitedly and she smiled, even though her heart contracted painfully. She missed him so much... "You really want to train the little one?", asked it from behind her and she looked over her shoulder at her brothers. They were all no longer on Coruscant. 

On a small moon, in a poorly populated temple, she had gathered her family around her and every day let a little more light into her heart. "But yeah, I can't leave it up to you guys. Or do you want to try it?", she teased and Jesse shook his head, laughing. When Rex came up tot hem, the younglings rushed over to them to grab lunch, she could hear the laugh of the clones and closed her eyes. It was not all good or the best, but it was okay. They were fine.

[glimmerglanger]

sooo do agaptfaa Anakin and Obi-Wan end up having those 8 babies? Do they conceive multiples again after the heat on the ship? Yes, this is a transparent attempt to get more pregnant Obi-Wan fluff from you, especially after the sadness of TCW.

Hi! I just finished reading agaptfaa and I loved it, I'm so happy I found it, as well as the extras you posted here. Could you please write more about what happens next? Do they really have 8 kids? How do Luke and Leia react to having more siblings?

So, I have a few prompts that I want to finish before I begin working on another larger project (....likely warlord!Anakin). I think there are five or so, and I’m starting with these two! Anyway, they might not make it to eight, despite Anakin’s best efforts, but there are going to be SO MANY little Skywalker-Kenobis running around....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

It had taken them weeks to notice the pregnancy the first time. But they’d been distracted by the war and denial and, well, none of them had been terribly familiar with what pregnancy did to a Jedi’s signature in the Force.

Everyone on their little colony had a much better idea about that, by the time Anakin brought Obi-Wan back from the grips of Palpatine’s clones. Anakin walked close - closer than usual - as they stepped down the ramp, scanning the area with a little frown, a hand on Obi-Wan’s back, and he didn’t have to say anything about what he sensed.

Obi-Wan remembered, well enough, the exact same behaviors from after Circindia. He had to laugh, just a little, tugging his robes straighter as a few of the workers in the shipyard turned to look at him, gazes narrowing before they flashed him a grin.

#

“Pleased with yourself?” Obi-Wan asked, later, after they’d made it back to their quarters, Ahsoka doing a double-take when they’d stopped to greet her and get word about what had happened during their little excursion.

“Your Force signature…” she’d said, eyes widening.

And Obi-Wan had said, “Yes, I know.”

“Definitely feeling accomplished,” Anakin said, back in their rooms, the twins checked on, played with, fallen asleep in their beds. He pulled his tunic off in one movement, moving closer, eyes dark with intent as he leaned down, hand brushing across Obi-Wan’s stomach. “You still want this?” he asked, nose brushing Obi-Wan’s, voice low and quiet. “I know, how it happened, it wasn’t--”

“I still want this,” Obi-Wan said, shifting into the kiss, feeling Anakin’s grip tighten, hearing the sweet, pleased sound he made as he guided them across the room, towards their bed, left still in disarray, as though Anakin had leapt from it when Obi-Wan went missing and not returned to it until that moment.

#

Obi-Wan didn’t expect, somehow, for the twins to notice. He simply hadn’t considered it, but they both watched him, wide-eyed, after they got over their initial wild joy at having both parents returned. Sometimes they reached out, chubby fingers trying to catch at unseen things around his skin. “What are you doing?” he asked Luke, the first time he did it, a look of stubborn concentration on his face.

“Getting sparkles,” Luke said, balancing himself with one hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. He gave up, after a while, running off to cause mayhem somewhere else. Leia persisted longer; she even brought over a jar and attempted to snag the sparkles, whatever it was they were seeing in his Force signature.

Even she gave up, eventually, though with a look in her dark eyes that implied she was merely working on a better plan. 

#

More mornings than not, Obi-Wan woke to Anakin curled so close, hand pressed to skin, the Force moving between them. Anakin did it in his sleep; it was something Obi-Wan had expected, he’d done the same thing with the twins, sending his sleeping hours weaving layers upon layers of protections over them.

He shifted, one morning, long after their return, drowsy and heavy-limbed, covering Anakin’s hand with his and stretching out his senses, checking on all of their family and the community beyond. Or intending to, anyway.

His attention snagged at something closer, and Anakin stirred immediately, picking up on his delight. “Mm?” Anakin hummed, pressing his face against Obi-Wan’s shoulder as though in a stop-gap against waking all the way, and Obi-Wan smiled helplessly in the dim light of their room.

“There’s a heartbeat,” he said, quietly, and Anakin sat up completely. “Just one,” he added.

Anakin made a little sound, pleased and thick, shifting to rest the side of his head against Obi-Wan’s stomach though there was no way to actually hear it, yet, his hand fanned out, skin so warm and touch impossibly gentle.

#

The twins were used enough to seeing a pregnancy to understand what was happening as the months sleeted by. They had playmates, now, though they were the oldest. Aayla’s child was only a few months younger; she was ahead of Obi-Wan for her second, Twi’lek reproductive cycles being somewhat shorter.

Still, Obi-Wan was quite far along by the time Leia crawled up beside him, frowned, and said, accusatory, “You have a baby in there.”

Anakin snorted from his other side, where he was attempting to teach Luke how to do something with a pile of droid parts. “I do,” Obi-Wan said. Currently, the baby was attempting to kick out the side of his ribs.

Leia scowled and then flopped sideways, draping herself across him. “Make her come out,” she complained.

“Not for a few more months,” Obi-Wan said, pushing back her dark hair as she narrowed her eyes. “And it might be a boy.”

“No,” Leia rolled off the couch, running off for her room, “I want a sister. Luke’s my brother.”

Luke pushed to his feet, always chasing after her, and shouted, “You don’t get to pick! I get to pick!”

“I’m the oldest,” Leia yelled back, and Obi-Wan dropped his head back against the couch, rubbing his and laughing softly.

“I’ve got them,” Anakin said, standing and dropped a kiss on his forehead.

#

The baby was a girl, as it turned out, and the birth went well, completely without incident or attacks from ancient creatures left behind by the Sith below the temple, making for a… much different experience from the birth of the twins.

She wailed, upon her entrance to the world, eyes screwed shut and tiny fists waving through the air, while Anakin held her, beaming, all lit up under his skin with fierce joy, laughing as he bounced her and cooed softly into her dark hair.

[fireflyfish]

Just found SCARverse and it's so well written and nice! I'm in love with it, seriously! I wanted to ask, Anakin is the only Jedi that "hears" Obi-wan? If other Jedi went to Kenobi they would see/feel something? If someone with psychometric powers like Cal Kestis went there, what would happen?

Why hello! Welcome to my humble abode! Where the angst is fresh and there is lots of screaming going on about Echo that mostly involves “NOOOO!” and “HE’S FINE DAMNIT. NOTHING HAPPENED TO ECHO. OR FIVES. OR HARDCASE OR TUP OR HEVY OR ANYBODY. EVERYONE IS FINE.”

*pant pant* Where was I?

Oh! SCARverse! Anakin Skywalker’s No Good Very Bad and Absolutely Horrible Adventures Into Adulthood and Traumatic Authority. Stop cackling Lily. You know it’s true. And thank you so very much for your kind words. I’m happy to know people are still enjoying that terribly sad little world! ^____^

Is Anakin the only person who hears The General? Nobody calls the ghost of the Kenobi Obi-Wan on orders from High General Tano and Commander Rex. Because they’d like to keep Anakin relatively emotionally stable. 

While The General seems to like Ahsoka, she has struggled to hear it. In The Haunted Flagship, it’s the CT-3311, or Steady, who heard what he thinks is the ghost of the ship. Ahsoka’s never been able to make contact with The General by herself, whether that’s because she had a weaker connection to Obi-Wan than Anakin or because she simply doesn’t need the ghost’s help is something we don’t know. 

Other Force sensitives feel a presence on the Kenobi No. Not The Presence. The Presence is busy being a back seat driver in Tano and Kenobi. but none of them could say for sure whether or not it’s Obi-Wan’s presence trying to reach out from beyond the netherworld of the Force. Remember, it is Anakin Skywalker’s flagship and he is hella powerful. More skeptical Jedi simply believe it’s just the will of the Living Force and not necessarily the spirit of Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

Plo Koon believes that ultimately, whatever experiences people are having on the Kenobi they are benevolent ones and since they are not actively hurting anyone maybe they should leave well enough alone. 

The enlisted men, the clones, natural-born troopers (natchers in the story), and to a few particularly suspicious civilians, the ship is clearly Haunted and they love their ghost General and are very thankful for his random acts of benevolence. They will buy him all the bad tea he wants if he keeps them in one piece and victorious. 

If someone with psychometric powers like Cal Kestis went there, what would happen?

I haven’t played Fallen Order (that’s what it’s called right?) and I’m not super familiar with psychometry works but based on my limited knowledge, Cal touches things and can see what happened near them right? Like if he touched the pilot seat in the Millenium falcon he might have a vision Han shooting Darth Vader right before Luke blew the Death Star sky high right? 

Let me consult Wookiepedia. 

Hold on. Let me set a timer first so I will actually come back in a decent amount of time.

I’m back! I made it out alive! Ahaahahahaha! And why does everybody keep looking for that damn holocron with the list of all the Force Sensitive children in the galaxy?? This is the THIRD DAMN TIME Anakin has had to track that stupid holocron down! Why don’t they just attach a Tile keychain to it and be done with it? Is there a “Find My Missing List of Potential Baby Jedis” app? You should get on that Vaderkin. 

Ah right! So... if Cal were to visit the Kenobi he would be able to sense the emotions and memories of the people serving on the ship. He would probably get a whole blast of Anakin’s memories because Anakin doesn’t like leaving his ship. He doesn’t like going back to Coruscant. There’d be some of the sensations of other Force sensitives who have visited the ship like Ahsoka, Plo Koon, Aayla Secura, etc but since the ship wasn’t made until after Obi-Wan was lost there aren’t any Obi-Wan related emotions, sights or sounds for Cal to tap into. 

I mean, unless The General feels the need to introduce himself. 

For what it’s worth, when Caleb Dume joins the cast, he will have a hard time connecting with the General as well and he’s very invested in the spirit of Obi-Wan Kenobi approving of his work as Anakin’s aide de camp. 

Thank you so much for reading and dropping me a line! It was a lovely thing to see this morning and I’m so happy you enjoyed SCARverse. Have a great week my friend!

[commander-krios]

aayla sienn x jonas balkar and Q for the minific meme?

Thank you for this prompt! Here is your minific. I hope you like it! It’s been a while since I’ve written regularly so it might be eh.

Jonas and Aayla: Q. One missed call

The past month Jonas Balkar had spent on Denon felt like a never ending waste of his time. Yes, the SIS agent had managed to scrap together a few good leads for the Republic, but each day was getting hairier by the minute. If he spent even another week on this planet, there was a good chance he’d go home in a body bag.

At least he was still managing to get intel about other Republic movements throughout the galaxy. He’d been waiting for a message from one specific person, but his mission had taken an unexpected turn for the worst and into hiding he had to go. Now, as he sat in one of the seediest bars he’d ever stepped foot in while downing cheap liquor, Jonas wondered what the little Twi’lek trooper was doing at that very moment. Last he’d heard, she and Agent Shan were doing some deep digging into a conspiracy that could threaten both the Republic and Empire. While he couldn’t care less what happened to the Empire, there were parts of the Republic worth preserving.

By his third drink, Jonas had found the courage to check his messages. Nothing from Republic Command, nothing from the SIS, nothing from his family. Of course, that made sense when they knew he had to go off the grid. But there was a single missed call from the very person whose face he missed seeing, although he would never admit as much in front of her.

It took until the end of his fourth drink and a quick trip to the refresher for him to finally return the call. To his surprise, she picked up almost immediately.

He stared at the blurry image of the tiny Twi’lek soldier floating in front of him. At first, he thought he was imagining her, unable to believe he was seeing her after being undercover for so long.

“Jonas? Are you there?” 

Blood pounded in his ears as he tried to find his voice. His mouth had suddenly gone dry, so he licked his lips, hoping it would help ease his nervousness. “Aayla? Is it really you?”

She gave him a strange look, almost as if she was questioning his sanity. “You called me, Jonas. Where are you? Is that the refresher?”

Jonas casually glanced over his shoulder, taking in the room around him, before letting out a laugh. “I thought it was quieter than the bar.”

Aayla put a hand to her forehead, annoyance mixed with concern. “Is everything alright, Jonas? I tried to holo you weeks ago and this is the first I’ve heard from you.”

Her tone of voice sobered him quickly. It’d been a long time since his flirtations could be taken as meaningless. His history with Aayla put them on another level altogether. “Sorry if I worried you, Major. I’ve been undercover… makes it hard for constant communication. Thankfully, I’ll be done on Denon soon. How, uh,  have you been?”

Aayla’s responding expression was more grimace than smile. “Not doing well, if I’m being honest. Theron had to go into hiding so I’ve been taking contracts for money, but I have no idea if anything is going to come of our intel. It’s discouraging.”

“Hardest part of being a spy.” 

“I’m not a spy, Jonas. I’m a soldier.” Aayla reminded him gently. “All of this is new to me.”

“Taking orders is easier for you, then?” Jonas teased, feeling more at ease as their conversation continued. “Maybe I can disguise it as a military operation and give you directions like a CO? I like the sound of Admiral Balkar.”

Aayla rolled her eyes, but he could see the hint of a smile on her lips. “Very funny. I thought it was you who liked being ordered around.”

“So you still have a sense of humor? Good to know, Major.” Jonas shook his head, laughing lightly. “I’ve missed this.”

“Me too, Jonas. I can’t believe how long it’s been since we’ve worked together.” Aayla sounded sad, but her face didn’t show it. “Maybe once we’re back on Coruscant…?”

“Count on it. You’ll be the first person I call.”

Jonas finally got to see the smile he’d been missing. If only they could’ve been in the same room. “I’ll hold you to that.” 

“Don’t be a stranger, Major.”

She laughed before ending the call, leaving Jonas in the refresher of a bar in the middle of an Imperial city-planet. He wished he were anywhere else at that moment, but with a sigh, he left the bar to return to his waiting safe house where he’d make a report to the SIS. At least, he had something to look forward to when he was finally back home.