#and now i dont want to eat at all anymore ever again but thats a fucking lie isnt it

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[lusalemaart]

[phagodyke]

.

[youraveragemushroom]

-

[yourlovermumu]

 yandere!husband who loves you so much that all he has ever wanted is to make you his wife and have you by his side forever. 

he just really loves you. and the fact that he gets to come home to his pretty little wife greeting him with a ‘’welcome home honey!’’ makes his heart beat against his ribcage so loud that his almost sure you heard it too. 

at first it was a little hard for him to get used to all this. you greeting him with a hug and a warm smile when he comes home, cooking him delicious food, feeding him with your own hands from time to time, cuddling him, and the fact that he gets to see your face first thing in a morning when he wakes up. 

yandere!husband can hardly keep up with everything without blushing like crazy from the littlest things. poor man just loves his girl so much. 

so it shouldnt come as a surprise when he just cant take things anymore sometimes and ends up fucking you like a dog in heat near the closest surface he can find. 

its still hard for him to process sometimes that your his, he gets to have you, you agreed to be his forever. and his so grateful for it. 

and he just loves to come home to you in the kitchen with an apron on, cooking him delicious food. 

theres just something about you in an apron..that drives him insane.

just coming home to his pretty little wife in an apron..wow

he would come behind you and hug you securely from behind while your stirring the food. burying his face in the crook of your neck, sniffing it a little to inhale your scent. ‘’mhm...you smell so good sweetie..’’ he whispers as he places soft, gentle kisses on your neck that tickle you. 

you giggle at his kisses as you tell him to stop but he just smiles and pouts with a ‘’no baby, let me give you my love’’ he says as he continues trialing kisses from your neck to your shoulder. slipping your shirt down on one shoulder where his trailing down kisses. he eventually starts biting you softly. 

‘‘love, whats gotten into you- mh- ah..your..uhm..please wait till the the food is done baby.’‘ 

he doesnt say anything, just keeps kissing, biting and licking your tender skin. 

you reach your hand behind to grab his hair to somehow pull him away. and it does seem to work as he lifts his head up and comes to whisper in your ear, ‘’sweetie, dont be so cruel to your husband, dont deny my love and affection. it hurts me’’ he says with a fake pout. 

you sigh at his behavior, ‘’mhm, sorry love, i just need to get this done, you dont wanna eat burnt food now do you?’’ as much as you wanna give in you cant possibly do so when your cooking, you would hate to feed your dear husband brunt food after all. 

his hands stay wrapped on your waist as he hums, as if his considering it. but then a smirk quickly makes its way to his lips. as he licks your earlobe and then whispers, ‘’then..why dont you just turn the stove off and give me a little of your time darling? just for a bit, i promise. wont keep you for long baby.’’ he says as he places gentle feather kisses on your neck again. trying to slowly convince you. 

you gulp, trying to fight the little voice in you head that tells you to just give him what he wants. ‘’can’t you wait a bit longer baby?’’ 

‘‘can’t, can’t wait anymore baby.’‘ he responds

‘‘been thinking about you all day.’‘ he says as he nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck. 

‘‘do you know what seeing you in this cute little apron is doing to me baby? do you know what its making me want to do?’‘ he asks as he flips you around, lifting you up into the kitchen counter. as he leans in close to your face. both his hands on either sides of your thighs ‘’hm?’’ 

you shake your head at his question. he chuckles when you do so. ‘’guess baby, guess’’ he says with a smile, waiting for you continue. 

‘‘its..making you really needy..isnt it, love?’‘ you ask, giggling. 

‘‘thats right baby, its making me so, so needy...its making me want to..take everything off besides the apron.. thats what its making me want to do.’‘ he says sternly. 

he smiles when he sees you flustered by what he said, a small chuckle leaves his lips, ‘’and tell you what’’ he pauses to look right into your eyes before speaking again, ‘’i dont think you’d stop me’’ 

‘‘aahh-! ah-! wait-! mh-mhmm..’‘ you moan as your left hand tightens on his hair. pulling and tugging it. but his not moving an inch. his too lost in pleasure to just stop and give you a moment to breathe. this whole moment, situation, is so amazing to him he cant possibly just stop. especially right when your about to cum again. 

‘‘make a mess of my face baby...dont hold back.’‘ he says as he moans into your pussy. sending vibrations through your cunt and making you shiver. 

‘‘gonna cum...’am gonna cum-!’‘ you warn as tears spill down your cheeks. 

yandare!husband only hums with his face stuffed between your thighs as he sucks and licks your pussy messily with two fingers stuffed into you. his cock twitching and leaking in his boxers from your screams, moans, and whines. everything about you is just so beautiful to him. 

it doesnt take long before your squirting on his face without a second warning. he tries to take every second drop inside his mouth desperately, like his a starving man. he licks you clean as he holds both your thighs apart. 

‘‘so sexy...i didnt know you could squirt like that..’‘ he chuckles as he looks up at your face. such a fucking mess you’ve become. your huffing and panting with sweat drenching your face. 

[haveihitanerve]

I figured that I would actually provide the source material to the stuff im commenting on, so uh yeah, here ya go, more SFTH nonsense with my thoughts bc you guys actually seem to care and enjoy them strangely enough???

anyway yeah, you know the drill, dont care about my dumb little lizard brain squeals of joy, dont click the keep reading button bc its a lot lol :)

those of you who do(thanks) and continue!!!-

“One of you… is hosting a party…” Luke looking between them like ‘who tf is gonna move’ while AJ is literally already half out of his chair because he knows they’re gonna make him do it-(literally a quote from Tom[not verbatim but close] “we always make AJ guess, because he… has the most trouble with it, and thats a joy”)anyway-

Sam’s eyebrow raise at Tom across the stage

“Balding” whoever said that- i love you. Sam, of course, volunteers, he’ll never pass up an opportunity to rag on one of his besties and we love him for it

His grin, once again across stage, to Tom

“Vampire bugs bunny.” toms face- and Luke immediately pointing it out

“He can do Bugs Bunny, I cannot.” “you can do bugs bunny cant you” help the fact that they just know  all this ahhhhh <333333

“Oh shit, Which means I’m balding…” don't lie tom you cant wait to annoy AJ with this

“What do you want Luke to be?” Tom you evil evil genius

“This is for giving him balding-” don't act like its karma Tom this is all you ever wanted

“Someone who’s convinced he’s tall.” whoever said that, marry me- you're hilarious and clearly have good taste if you're at this show

Luke also laughing at the joke is a joy

Tom pacing as Luke takes control again, literally grinning giddily with excitement ugh they clearly love what they do so much and its so pure

Toms smile at “yay!” idk its just pretty

Aj idk what kind of accent this is but im loving it

But tf were those hand movements- are we wrapping presents? 

Ok even he broke at it, and sam was grinning- luke laughed, very nice

So im not a big bugs bunny person but even i can kinda catch on to what sams trying to do- very clever, im soooo many levels of curious to know if aj can guess it

“Carrot” !!!!!!he said CARROT!!!! YAY close

Tom crossing the stage to enter from the same door as Sam-honestly i cant with their stagecraft anymore help-

Also the doorbell is soooo much higher for tom than it was for sam- sams was at his chest, toms was above his head anyway

“Careful.” AJs glance up into the cosmos to figure out what tf that means and how its a hint

Toms doing great job of being insecure about his hair, loving it, and the audience is eating this up

“This guy sucks and i should know about that” AJ’s frozen face of fear because what is he trying to tell me, quick what does that mean- oh shit im screwed-

“Other front door.” yep! Theres the stagecraft comment- Tom dodged it quite obviously but Luke had to go for the joke

PFFFFFF oh wow Luke is doing a brilliant job of being tall, truly

“I was just looking in the mirror and I couldn't see him behind me.” oh i completely forgot about the vampire bit- thank you tom-

Also sam helping him out with the “ting!’ is great, we love to see them helping each other (for once lol)

“All of the characters of the looney tunes” oh aj so close

“Uh, the bunny one.” “oh please no!” XD NOOOO AJ!!! COME ON!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!

Luke breaking as well for it is the best 

Aj having to turn to look at him like “why did you let him choose this character- idk who this is.” 

“..lots of creatures” Luke literally folds, as Sam does the classic disappointed covering his face with one hand and tom has to walk away, classic

The way they join behind AJ like moral support kills me-

“Oh no you're really annoying me you're really---*expectant waiting* [bugging me]” nope aj is lost “fuckin-” now sam has to walk away LMAOOO

TOM LITERALLY ALMOST WALKING OFF STAGE IS INSANE

“Its like surveillance” aj- please, im begging you- we’re all begging you- go. simple. 

“Its called they piss you off.” Luke walking to the front of the stage so that everyone can see his disappointed head hang is crazy

“BUGS!!!” LADIES AND GENTLEMEN HES DONE IT AGAIN!!!! 

Oh no… oh no, aj please- please get it- please

“Bugs bunny.” YEAH!!!! YES YAY WOOHOO!!! HES DONE IT!!!!

Tom finally getting his moment to bring up his excellent addition- “its so crazy, i couldn't see him behind me in the mirror.” also walking to the front of the stage, thats gonna be a pattern

SAM LITERALLY KISSING AJ ON HIS BALD HEAD OMG IM GONNA CRY OF CUTENESS WHATTTTTT

MY HEART

“Hey my bald friend over here,” yess!!! Two in one!!! Nice work!!!

“Thats  your quirk.” man has never been so insulted in his l i f e 

Tom shrugging in answer as AJ smiles in disbelief is amazing

“I've got a pretty good angle.” while looking at the floor is what gives me life luke never change

“Is it like me ten years ago?” luke and tom both breaking at that- also, side note, they've known each other ten years to bring it up casually and have witnessed aj balding- moving on

Tom literally having to hug AJ after he guesses right XD i adore these little fucks so much

“You are so buff right now man.” Aj confused as to if this is real or…??? “Ok-?” laughs. oh these ridiculous goobers

“Fat friend.” wrong- wrong direction dude- up, not sideways🤭 so close

“All through this” still looking down, gestures to the space above his head that does not have body as much as he would like it to be

Luke having a breakdown on stage about an issue that he genuinely gets ragged on so much for- im losing my mind omfg-

“Tiny giant.” luke losing it again- and i gotta say thats a pretty nice way to describe it, i think he gets the point

Tom leaned forward in anticipation, the cutest smile on his face, sam leaned back, trepidatious 

“Im really- Im not *moves to the front of the stage and yells at the audience* tiny okay???” lukes loosing it niow

“Its very funny isn't it?” oh no, hes pacing and breaking the fourth wall- oh no

“Cause hes tall-” Tom perking up, “oh look! Im being included back in the sketch!” “and hes a normal height!” AJ isn't even bothering to think anymore, just enjoying the show

“Hes only 5’10” yes!!! Call him out Luke!!!

“And yet somehow Im a fucking short guy!!!” i just love the other three dudes expression in this scene, just pure delight at Luke finally snapping(albeit jokingly) and being like ‘yeah… tough luck’

Also, love Luke casually including the people no longer in the sketch back into it just to make a point and call out his legitimate grievances, love it

“Im not short!” oh now hes back in it ok-

“I don't know if im talking to a character or luke right now-” Tom and Sam breaking before he even finishes the sentence lol

“I don't know either.” oh poor baby XD

“Luke,” genuinely starts to address him by his actual name, gods i love them- he was about to legitimately comfort him before sam came in- i know it(or insult him further but like wtv, same thing lol)

“Connnn-vict!” Luke trying to speak and then giving up- AJ!!! Vince! Not Vikt!!!

YAYYY!!!! HE DID IT!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this segment of me losing my mind about SFTH and their incredible bromance and also humor, thanks for tuning in, see you next time(maybe, if you guys still want it lol)!

@dawn-speckled you wanted it last time, hope you want it still??? anyway, thanks for reading, it means a lot, and byebye 👋

[austinsastrology8991]

> Neptune IN the HOUSES < How your DELUSIONS find you RESOLUTIONS

Neptune in the First - You act so naive, and now people actually think your naive. But you hate it when people treat you this way, but your always swaying around and acting oblivious to everything around you, but ik its all a front, and people find you to be mystical and now everyone is entranced by this dance you make acting oblivious. its obvious its an act, but then the more you get to know them you realize its not and thats actually who they are, and you wonder why no one has bonked them on the head yet Neptune in the Second - you dont really value anything, you think everything comes and goes, and your just like a paper bag flowing through the wind tbh. But this quality of letting things be and go, allows you to be molded by life and that can be a useful tool for artisty, but man yall just give up easy tbh. also your voices are like ethereal - kiddd cudiiiiiieee Neptune in the Third - you guys talk like a movie character, and its never the villain but the naive protagonist who just believes in a bunch of bullshit. but everyone thinks your so amusing to lissten to and i suppose you are but sometimes you guys really are playing up this movie trope and well im done watching the same movie i want a re-cast. then next week you will re-cast yourself as a new protagonist and well everyone just loves to watch you be an idiot so keep it up Neptune in the Fourth - Your literally 'good will huntings robin Williams'. you act like you figured out emotions because you let them come and go, but when someone questions whats going on with you, you find a million reasons to explain why you behave this way, and why others do, whilst completely avoiding letting your emotions out because your way too sensitive youd rather keep it at them at a distance that way you can handle it Neptune in the Fifth - You guys are the embodiment of a amusement park. YOu perform a million different acts, and never run out of ideas on how to entertain. Very amusing to watch, but people tend to take you for granted since your always so fun to be around we just expect yalll to keep performing, and you can, but this eats you up inside. then you perform again showing us how you feel as usual, and how it feels being used, and well i guess its all good because you have a never ending source of material - yourselves

Neptune in the Sixth - IMO the real mvps of delusions. No one is as delusional as them but they dont even care because they have thought of so much bullshit and have found so much evidence for their bullshit that they now realized that what most people believe in is bullshit, so they just think everything is bullshit. They dont even give a fuck anymore because to them everything isnt real, and everything is real, they have trouble understanding reality, because they have seen things no one could ever believe exists Neptune in the Seventh - Hopelessly projecting what they want in the world just for it to never come to fruition. This is actually how they pull, so dont hate their game. but they tell people how they wish things would be, and people want to save them by showing them how the world works, or giving into their stupid delusions and pretending what they believe in is real. Kinda a lot to deal with. But they'll never admit that they act so innocent but then your basically taking care of a baby Neptune in the Eighth - They make the universe bend to their will whether it wants to or not. They will pull every magic trick they know to make sure that their delusions are not delusional anymore. And its impressive how much they believe in there imaginings that it does tend to become real, but i would warn them and whoever is around them; That their fantasies tend towards the dark. so if they want something to be real (and they gonna do everything they can to get it) they may or may not resort to black magic or some shady ass shit Neptune in the Ninth - They believe in god a lot, maybe too much to appear normal. They are the type to make up a cult and behave liek mormons and say it was the will of god. The people ive met with this are strange, and their beliefs alter quite a bit, and for some reason they always have met deities and angels. But they are so delusional in their beleifs that if you hear them out, its so far fetched youll get lost in them because your so curious how someone got so lost in their own religion you wonder if they'll ever return to the real world Neptune in the Tenth - They are openly strange. Bro dennis Rodman has this conj his midheaven and its just iconic really. These guys are the strangest most ethereal beings and everyone gets lost in their cult of personality. Always switching up their identity, they think reality is bullshit and well we are all here for it because yall do the strangest things and i just wanna watch what your gonnna do next. but im still trynna figure out how close i wanna get to you because being seen with you is a risk for my reputation, because you clearly dont give a fuck about yours Neptune in the Eleventh - How many acid shirts do you own. Its like your the public personification of 'make love not war and peace bro' and its cool everyone wants a freidn like you, but no one takes your advice seriously. Because your so lost in the make believe that you think your make believe can actually make someone make believe..... But like cmon how the fuck do you think thats going to change anything. WHen has 'peace bro' ever actually worked. do your charities or whatever but i do not see it working as much as you think it can. sorry not sorry. But i do love you. But get a haircut Neptune in the Twelvth - Your literally the type to lick your finger , put it up in the air and say 'yep it going to rain wednesday' then it actually rains wednesday. And your so cooked no one believes you (because why would you) but then it does happen and now eveyrone thinks your even more cooked because what you had cookin is a real recipe. Now everyone wants to know how you have your third eye or whatever open and now you just want to hide again lmao. Also incredible artists, i recommend you guys keep your intuitive insights to yourself because you are right a lot but why tell people when everyone is just going to question how you see signs rather than heed your advice

[tookthe-405]

On our way

Chapter 1 :

We’ll keep falling on each other

DONATIONS & LINKS 🇵🇸

DAILY CLICK🍉

Loser!ellie x ex-bsf!reader

ROADTRIPPPP

authors note: first chapterrr🤪 ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO PLS

And pls tell me if the chapters should be shorter and what kind of perspective I should write from (Ellie pov will come later when I’ll fit), LONG AF

Summary: modern Jackson au!

you and Ellie were best friends through your childhood. Now your just neighbours who act like enemies towards each other, but after an incidence you both decide to run away together.

Joel lives 💯

warnings: anxiety , Panik attack?, alcohol, smoking, feeling of throwing up (only mentioned once) smut in future chapters!!, chaotic and stupid arguing between reader and Ellie, school anxiety, messy af (I mostly write at night when the demons come out🐺)

(ellie is 18 and reader is 17 (soon 18))

Readers pov:

6/25

You couldn’t remember the fall out.

For a matter of fact you couldn’t remember anything that happened that night.

You just knew that the next morning Ellie and you weren’t friends anymore. You guys weren’t anything, just total strangers who knew more about each other than any other.

“Iced Coffee and 4 chocolate donuts should be your order”

Your head snaps up and an older guy holds out a bag of donuts.

“Yes, thank you”

You quickly scurry out of the waiting crowd, out the dinner and into the summer air.

2:25 p.m. If Jody would finally pick you up, the both of you might only be 10 minutes late to the game.

While you're waiting, you take a donut out of the bag and realize as you're eating that you don't have a cold ice coffee in your other hand.

"Fuck”

you really wanted that coffee, and by any normal logic you should just go back.

But the fear of embarrassment won. so you decide to just wait outside without a coffee, feeling the dizziness of the lack of sleep in your brain.

The day before was the last exam and you couldn’t sleep the whole night, because of your anxious thoughts that are so unjustified that it’s actually embarrassing.

you watched the cars drive by, as you wait for Judy to pull over.

Today was the last school day. Ever. This morning was the last morning you would ever be in a high school class room to study.

After waiting for a while you hear the horn of Judy`s car or rather her parents car, since both of you are broke and only one of you has their license.

"i forgot my coffee" you complain as you collapse into the passager seat.

"yeah but you didn`t forgot the donuts and thats the really important thing here" Jody happily takes the box full of donuts, out of your hand

"footbal games always stress me out" you rummage through your bag, looking for gumm or just something that will help your body through this hard time.

"i hope my exams were good" you tell her anxious.

"It was our last fucking day, dont worry about something that is over soon. Those last days don`t really matter no one cares"

"I do"

Judy scoffs, puting the donute to her mouth again, all while looking at the street.

"I know, thats your problem. Really, you need to fix that. Your grades are amazing and whatever college you wanna go to, will say yes."

Now you scoff.

"right then why haven’t they replied yet then?"

"because you were too anxious too send your application, you almost threw up in my room"

Your face contorts at the memory. Judy's poor cat hissed at you the whole time because you couldn't sit still at all.

"yeah sorry he gets like that, but not all cats are this easy to annoy i swear"

Your giggle fills the car and you share the last donute, as judy tries to find a parking spot which is obviossly not that easy anymore.

"goddamit those wild people are so greedy" her hands grab the steerig wheel harder, but theres simply no other free spot anymore.

You grow even more annoyed now.

The thoughts in your head take more space than you usually allow them.

The whole morning was shit, the whole day is shit and your life is fucked if you don’t get into university.

"i think we need to use the other one" judy says

"then we`ll have to run through the whole fucking school, were already late, Malik is playing!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she looks at you, thinking, and finally sighs.

"get out I’ll park the car" You immediantly regret snapping at her.

"you dont have to-"

she interrupts you (no suprise)

"bro get out of my car. It’s my fault we`re too late anyway and we both know im only here for the fries"

For a few seconds you hesitate, but then you grab your bag and the donut, and get out the car. Outside, a warm brise tickles your skin, now that the sun is shining right on your face. You pinch you eyes.

Judy dissapers around the corner and you wave, hoping she saw it, but the worry leaves with her because you start running towards the football field.

The whole row was full, every seat. You try to push your way through the crowd on the front, which didn't make it any easier because everyone was pushing forward against the bar to see better.

And it was so loud, every type of noises from every angle. This is your last game of course everyone will be loud, Jesus you’ll be loud, but the game hasn’t even started.

Arriving in the almost last row, Lyla waves to you and you sprint towards her.

"I don't know how you manage to save us seats, thank you so much," You almost scream, because the large group sitting behind her started singing the fucking national anthem.

lyla quickly hugs you and sits right back down. "I don't know how either, but here you go. Where's Judy?"

Her gaze wanders behind you to look out for her, as if judy is hiding behind you "Looking for another parking spot and getting us some fries"

You feel the light box in your hand and remember the one donut inside it.

“Here we’ve left you a donut”

“How generous” lyla replies smirking

Your attention turns to the football field. No one’s there.

“Everyone is still in the cabins, you're not as late as you think" she adds while slurping her milshake.

Malik is Lylas brother and a good friend of yours. Even Judy likes him, and that's saying something.

After the "incident" you tried so hard to find another group of friends, that one day it actually happened.

Which wasnt easy, before ellie you didnt relly need other friends. You also didnt want other ones. You always thought she felt the same way.

Her company, her words, her feelings and thoughts were all you wanted.

"Holy shit im not late!"

Judy's loud voice pulls you out of your thoughts. She quickly sits down next to you and hands you the large french fries package. You grin at her and pass them on to lyla. The loud noises became quieter and quieter, which made you hear the microphone voice.

"Dear seniors and juniors, After weeks full of learning and exams, one last football game with our beloved team and a guest team of their choice should be enough for you. I don't understand why you wanted to have this when every one of you’ve seen so many other games, but as you want. That’s the last one really though, please."

Judy giggles at the voice of the principal, but with empathy rather than mockery.

"Poor Ms. Servopoulos, juniors and seniors are not easy. The Other Class's prank surpassed everything"

lylas eyes widened at the memory. "Which of the 20 One?" She asks, leaning a bit over my lap to hear judy better.

"The one where they all had their tables outside at the_" Judy's bright voice gets stuck in the air, and she looks past me with squinted eyes in dismay.

You know why and didn't want to turn around.

But you do it anyway.

She wore her typical short baggy shorts and a red oversize t shirt with a fucking beanie , which makes her look like the love child of Adam Sandler and Jesse Pinkman.

You’d be happy to laugh at her if she didn't look so fucking good. But you chuckle a bit in your head at the Beanie, because it’s fucking june.

She looks down at you , just standing there.

Ellie has always been a bit taller than you. You might be sitting right know, but you still know That hasn't changed yet. You don't have to get up to be sure. You would notice if she grew even 1 cm. You don't know if she would still recognize that about you.

The familiar, soft and light brown freckles on her face. As a tween you always wanted to connect them, to find out how it would turn out. Or how she would look. Or react. You wanted to make her laugh so bad it hurt.

"Seth told me to bring this too you"

The Ice Caffee, with your name on it, is suddenly right in front of your face.

"Why should I accept it? It's already warm anyway" The irritated pitch in your voice cannot be ignored

Elie's gaze remains neutral, but there was some caution in her expression. "He forced me when I was paying, just take it and throw it away."

"Why didn't you throw it away?"

"Because im at a point where I listen to that old man for my benefits. Seth hates me already. He didn't even tell me about the senior special last week" she protests

You roll your eyes in annoyance.

"i dont give a shit about you or the now hot coffee"

Your argument became more intense, Judy and lyla exchanged glances but stayed out of it. You want to sort out your shit yourself and they know that.

"just fucking throw it away ellie!"

"No, I'm sitting at the top and have to go down all the fucking stairs and-"

"I don't care Ellie"

The people around slowly became aware of the both of you screaming, and you wonder for a second how strange you both must look right now. How you line up like little kids. But ellie also hurt the child version of you. God she has hurt so fucking many versions of you.

"just be happy that I’m even bringing this too you, i didnt really had to do that"

Her hand holds the plastic cup so hard in front of your face that it looks like it's about to explode.

The fact that she thinks she has a right to be angry with you bothers you even more, as you try to hold back your tears. You try to imagine her as adam sandler, screaming at you in this fucked up voice from grown ups, to make the tears go away.

"right i didn’t ask you to do anything, you decided to be so stupid and come over here"

she chuckles sligtly at your words, really pissed now. "you bitch-"

The last words never came out of her mouth. But the coffee out the cup. On your shirt.

Frightened, you take a loud breath in and stand up. Ellie has already put a safe distance between the both of you and her own mouth is open with surprise and startle.

Behind her stands a paralyzed Joshua, with his hand on his mouth.

"I swear, he ran into me...," she babbles desperately to herslef, waving her hands in the air, the empty cup on the floor now. Looks like the rest of the liquor soaked your shoes.

Yo didn’t let her finish. You mumble to lyla and judy not to follow you and that you would call them later. You grabbed your bag and Then left.

And you cried the whole ride home with your mom next to you. And not because of the coffee.

The smoke comes out of your mouth, you take the ciggarette to you lips again, and breathe in deeply.

If you smoke in your room, you always have to lean almost completely out of the window, now with the shadows of the trees falling in your face.

The light, split by the limbs, danced to the movements of the branches. There was a small and almost sweet breeze in the air.

The sun is still shining, but the golden hour is almost here.

You get goose bums on your arm as a cold breeze comes, and you put out the cigarette on your ashtray.

As you lie down on your bed and just stare at the wall for a while, the dark smell of cigarettes is still in the air. your parents don't care as long as it doesn't get into the rest of the house.

You grab a book from your bedside table and start reading.

"And when you at last find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter- they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped darek inside yous so long"

You close the book with a jerk.

Yes, maybe no sylvia plath for today.

The buzzing of your phone makes your head move to the side.

Judy: Malik won

Judy: Tonights a party at the beach, everyones going

Your eyes stare back into the void of your ceiling.

Ellie has had so much influence over you and your feelings for so long, that has to stop at some point. And with all the anger in you, you think that today it will.

You get up and stand in front of your closet, you rummage around to find something and you do. A t shirt that belonged to ellie.

Your fingers brush over the dark green material. It was a fucking normal t shirt. Except that it wasn't.

"Today it will stops"

You put the t-shirt in your backpack and look for an outfit that was well suited for the beach. In the end, you wear short jeans shorts, where your grandma had sewn in flower patterns years ago, With a light blue shirt it goes nicely with the flowers.

you: can you pick me up?

Judy: I would love too :)

You quickly brush your teeth to get rid of the smell of smoke. Outside, you can already hear Judy's honking. You sprint down the stairs with your backpack and look for your beach shoes.

"Where are you going" Your mother is standing behind you with her arms crossed. In her old cardigan, she looked like she did a few years ago and you almost get a déjà vu.

"A party, Judys picking me up"

"how long are you gonna be there?"

"Mom im going to be 18 in what now 4 days you dont have to ask me that anymore"

she scoffs

"yes i do and guess what? i also want you to text me So i know youll be fine"

Nervously, you look out to see if Judy's car is still there, maybe she thinks you've changed your mind.

"Ok, Mom, I'll probably go to Judy's and be gone till midnight."

Suspiciously, she looks at you from head to toe, but (luckily) gives in.

"okay but please call me if something happens. Be smarter than your brother"

Your body flinches at the mention of him. "Has… he called lately?" you murmur

She looked at the floor and you thought for a moment she was going to cry. "No, but maybe if you call him, he'll answer"

You nod, but you know you won't do it.

He doesn't care about you either.

~

"I'm proud that you're coming along" Judy and you are walking, with beer in your arms, towards the beach where a few people have already gathered.

"I mean, that was a great show, a few people definitely noticed it"

You sigh at the unpleasant memory. "Then that's the way it is, I think a few other things are going to happen tonight, that are far more interesting than a girl with coffee on her T-shirt"

"I hope so" A mischievous smile on her face.

You look around to find lyla and malik, But because of all the people, it doesn’t really work. You were sure that there weren't that many seniors and juniors, but that a few friends of others came along. There was a big fire and even a barbecue.

After wandering around for a while, you find the two siblings. They had already made themselves comfortable on the big blanket and had taken some alcohol with them, but the bottles will probably spread over the whole beach anyway.

"Finally I see you, everything ok with you?" Malik mentions as he stands up, giving you a vigorouslyhug. "Really fucked up what happened"

You digress with a wave of your hand and sit down

"im fine, but you won, tell me abou it!" You try to make your voice as shrill as possible to make it clear that you don't want to talk about it.

“oh yeah we won, I made a touchdown, obviouly"

"almost didn’t catch it tho" throws lyla into the round and you giggle.

"Shut up, we only won our last game Ever, Because of me!”

Pride, but also the quiet pain of the loss of his team, can be noticed on his face andin his voice. The reality that you try so hard to run away from hits you again. high school is over, real life begins now.

“whatever, im getting something to drink and then im gonna tell sam to put on some music” Lyla ties you back into the moment. "I'm going with you , I need a drink of Voda-Coke"

~

Later that night Mr. Brightside was what got you on your feet and into the crowd.

Mesmerizingly, the fire flares higher and leaves just light trail of smoke behind. Malik and Judy are now singing along loudly with the others.

All these people who so clumsily sing the song about a heartbroken man, as if they would die if they don't do it, carry the same fate with them. They will all wake up tomorrow with a headache and worries about the next day. as it is one day closer to real life.

Some have broken families or parents, complicated friends, grief and draining fear of the future.

Knowing that it was like that but everyone was still singing along motivates you to do it too.

"Here more vodka has to work not taste good" Judy pours more vodak into your cup, but misses more than ends up in it.

Now you just laugh, because why did you thought so long about everything, this night was a good decision.

"I need to dance like I physically need to dance"

She grabs Malik's arm as he pours more beer next to her.

“let’s danceee!"

Lyla stands next to you, grinning and sober, and you both watch her.

"he likes her"

Lyla explains

"I know" you reply.

“That’s fucked up”

She looks a bit worried, as she watches the two of them dance and sing, with her arms crossed

"is that bad? or are you the "dont date my fucking brother" type of girl, please dont be by the way its always a bit-"

Your brain is mush, your tongue works on its own and Lyla obviously didn't like that

"no of course not, i don't care about him or who he dates"

The light from the fire reflected on her skin, she looked like a painting drawn at sunset and you wished you had your camera with you. It would be a shot of a very sad girl, with a lot of repressed feelings that she will never explain to a human soul.

But she didn't have to, because you understand.

You once looked at someone like that, from a distance where these looks were not visible to the person, where they were safe.

Comforting her was your first thought, dumb decision because a drunk person comforting a sober one never works out.

"I'm sure judy likes you back"

Alarm bells could be seen in her eyes.

"shut up you don't know that"

you laugh but it sounds unstable.

“No your right I don’t”

It looked like a lot of fun, everyone singing and drinking away their worries, you just wanted to join the dancing crowd when you see her. Again.

Fast an quickly, just ignore her, act like you didn’t see her.

But your eyes lock with hers and your stomach sinks.

In that moment you wish you could just admit that Ellie will always be a part of your mind. Wherever you are, with whomever, she will always appear In your mind and she will haunt you.

The worst thing is that it was also your fault, you allowed this relationship to be far too deep and perplexed even though you knew that it was becoming too emotional.

Ellie's presence on the other side of the fire, fills you with all those deeply buried feelings, as if she dug them up with her own hands. As if you told her where you buried them.

“I really don't understand you two"

with a snap you arrive back on planet earth.

"what?"

"the both of you. starring at each other, like you're about to run through fire to be just a bit closer. Makes me want to puke" lyla repeats.

Disbelief and vulnerability spreads through your chest and all those lights are too bright, the music is too loud and Ellie is too close.

"It's ok to forgive, we don't even know what happened so be honest, how bad was it?"

brushing all those feelings off, or at least trying to, you turn around and disappear into the darkness.

In a kind of trance you push your way through the many people, a few call after you, and you are sure that you have run into someone. You just didn't notice anything about it.

You stop in front of the many cars. You used to drive with your father to the local supermarket or other short distances, but you're not willing to steal a car.

Your head turns to the right then left, looking for something, anything that will take you away from here.

Cars, skateboards and bicycles.

Without thinking about it, you grab an unchained bike and get on it. The adrenaline in your veins works on its own and has far too much influence on your body.

It took some time to get stable on it, because the tears in your eyes made it difficult to see. Nobody seems to have noticed that you ran away and that you are riding a bike that doesn't belong to you.

The road was pitch black dark.

The warm summer wind wipes your tears away, the bright street lights of the city can be seen in the distance.

You step on the pedals and realize that you have arrived on the local road.

Out of breath, you press your fingers on the brake lever.

Desperately trying to get your lungs to return to normal, mind concentrate on the outline of your shadow that was visible on the floor, because of the street lanterns.

You get off the bike in silence, put it down next to you on the sidewalk and sit down.

The pumping of your veins feels like electricity.

You could still hear a few cars in the background.

You brush away strands of hair from your forehead.

“Fuck” you hear yourself whisper.

The tears were just about to come back when you hear a car turning.

She still drives Joel's old truck.

The vehicle stops in front of your feet and you notice that some of the light green paint has rusted off.

That wasn't the case the last time you saw that thing.

Ellie slams the car door loudly behind her, so she looks back to see if everything is still fine.

The feeling of shame just bubbles out of you and drips onto the floor, as she steps in front of you with even louder steps.

your head lifts up just a bit, to look at her. Her nose is a bit crooked and she's breathing just as fast as you were a few seconds ago, it looks a bit like she was running after you.

“What the fuck are you doing”

Ellie Williams will always come from the far corner of the world and remind you that you will never let go of her.

The effects of the alcohol still had an influence on your brain, so you stay calm.

“calming down"

For a few seconds it's eerily quiet, for a moment you thought Ellie had left again, but the squeaking of her sneakers prove the opposite. Her body settles down next to you.

"You look really stupid, sitting here like that."

You scoff mockingly.

"yes, that's exactly why you're sitting next to me bitch"

"don't fucki-"

"Don’t act so innocent, remember what you said today before you spilled my coffee on my shirt”

Her head turns to you, sweet regret and longing in her moss green eyes. She scans the bike next to you.

"i think i stole that" the embaressment goes up your cheeks.

"yeah totally badass, but we have to bring that back later" she chuckles softly.

The bright beam of light from the lantern above you gives her face an bright tint , like the beach sun always did in the evening.

"sorry... about the coffee, joshua ran into me and-"

"Yes, I know you've said that before"

She drops her head. No idea why she's sitting here, but you don't mind. you just wanted to capture her and keep her close to you, like a butterfly.

"your brother called me" Ellie mentions it so casually that it shocks you to the bone.

He can even call her but not you. After she just sat down, you were as close as ever.

"what did he say"

"He wants us to come visit him."

Her pupils were large, but you assumed it was because she just drove a dark route and not because she was high. She's way too lucid to be high.

"why? and why the both of us?"

Ellie shrugs her shoulders cluelessly

"He said that we would like Florida, that he was getting a new apartment next week and that we should visit him. You didn't tell him anything about me?"

"I haven't told him anything Ellie, we haven't been able to get in touch with him for months"

You can clearly see from her expression that it makes as little sense to her as it does to you, which worries you even more. something is wrong.

You can feel how your hands shaking, you tried to tell yourself that your just cold.

"Alex said that he tried to call you and your parents, but the line never got through, fuck he even reached Joel"

You continue to shake and Ellie gently grabs your shoulder like she has often before, when you were lost in your head, when you were so afraid of roller coasters that you almost vomited or when you cried because Alex moved out 3 years ago.

Ellie's own security was always an anchor for you, when things got too confusing she strengthened you and even though you didn't talk to each other for almost a year, she still decided to tell you that your brother was fine.

That he wants you with him.

Sometimes, on the particularly melancholic nights when loneliness and nostalgia take over, you read Sylvia's poems and it just clicks. That all because this girl with her hair that is way too short and her pants that are way too big and her full lips, her unhealthy obsession with the universe and planets, exists on the same time as you.

“There’s gonna be a explanation or a reason whatever but just calm down for now okay?”

her voice is suppressed but still safe. yes the Ellie Anchor effect, fuck that shit

“Okay yes your right what the fuck”

“Yeah I can be right sometimes”

“ I Doubt that”

Her lips pucker upwards and yours follow suit. you are still too close to each other, it all feels too new and yet too nostalgic.

The old patterns gave your heart a little sting, you quickly shook off her hand on your shoulder. You clear your throat, thanking the universe or whoever there is that it's night.

Otherwise Ellie wouldn't have been able to miss your red cheeks. In your mind you beat yourself up because you still feel this way after everything she did.

"Show me your phone"

Your hand goes protectively to your back trouser pocket. "um no?!"

Ellie Scoffs thinking your joking, but when she sees that you’re serious, she laughs.

"just give it? the fuck do you think im gonna do"

"I don't know"

With a little nudge to your foot, she gives you that look again that shows trust and you give in.

"fine"

It's a little painful for you, this morning you had a mental crisis because of her, now you letting her scroll through your contacts.

"yeah, sorry to disappoint you, but this is not your bros number"

But that must be his.

Your parents gave it to you.

Oh.

"show me" you said firmly, having a really fucked up scenario in your head, about why this is the wrong number.

Ellie takes out her phone and shows you your brother's contact. chats, phone calls, everything is there. the one from this week too.

"this doesn't make any sense, I just- I don't get it"

"Your parents gave you the number?"

You nod, "My mom said, a few Months ago he had to change his number, in the beginning we texted a bit but never really called"

your eyes switch from her phone to yours to check the numbers again and again .

"After a few days, he didn't get in touch at all, with no one. We thought he was just done with his old life." you pronounce the words and your stomach turns.

Ellie's eyes stare thoughtfully at the asgap in front of you. You're helplessly trying to build up eye contact to figure out what you're thinking.

"I think they lied to you… He said something like this could happen" She says it so fucking sure.

You couldn't take in any more and you get up with your eyes are watering "What the fuck are you talking about Ellie" Your voice broke with the trust in your parents, even Ellie looks at you sympathetically.

"Alex said on the phone that he has been trying to reach someone from home for a long time, but it doesn't work. He was so desperate that he even called me and joel. Do you think your parents or your mom-"

you raise your hand to tell her not to finish the sentence. "Why… would they do that?"

She gets up and comes closer to you. "He mentioned that your mother said he shouldn’t call her anymore or you anymore, that even you don't him in your life anymore"

It feels like your whole past is falling apart, all the beautiful moments with your family, you even want the bad memories back.

"Hey"

Ellie's soft fingertips gently touch the back of your hand. Roughness was still there, she hasn`t stopped playing guitar.

"lets run away"

a/n: omg, the chapters are gonna be shorter next time and we’re also on the road PLS STICK W IT

(and reblog😍)

anyways if you’ve come this far ur a real survivor thanks 🫶

@yourelliewillms @bready101 @liasxeatt @darkerstarsstuff @elliezato @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @lovelyxbaby @yalaysbee @macaroni676

[daydream-believin]

a real stand up guy ba dum tss

summary: you get stood up by an internet man. douxie, your waiter and secret admirer, remedies that jackass’s mistake.

warnings: uh. swearing, alcohol, i’m too lazy to proof, the yooj. oh and doux doesn’t know how to handle this crush without getting slightly into stalker territory sorry. its a red flag but i think its cute. you may not think its cute.

a/n: tumblr was glitching while i tried to post this so idk how many paragraphs i accidentally erased. i mean i tried my best to make that number 0. but anyways if something is off let me know. the challenge for this one is that im not allowed to use italics. which you should know was very hard for me agshjfkgjdjh

taglist: @moppetwithamanbun @alovesongshewrote @blixeon @prismarts @fantasyiswaybetterthanreality @ukuleles-and-roses

okay quick psa i know it’s been years so if you want off the taglist just hmu. also if you were on the taglist and got taken off thats bc tumblr says you don’t exist anymore

uh this was a request. i’m not doing requests tho dont think that. looking back yeah that ask if from march 2022 and this doesn’t even match up to what you asked 😂 im so sorry @rose-writes-shit

you took a peek at your watch. 7:34 o’ clock. letting your head fall into the open palm of your propped up hand, you sighed.

coffee meets bagel boy was supposed to have met you at 7:00.

of fucking course. you let your plucky pink-haired coworker convince you to download a fucking dating app and make a profile, just for the only guy who had actually been interested enough in you to ask you on a real date to stand you up. makes sense.

it’s not like you’ve ever had luck with these kind of things. it’s not like you’ve ever had luck period. your kind might be the black cat of humans.

you’ve spent way too long eating the free bread at a mr. benoit’s of all places. it was the “classiest” establishment in the certain suburban hellscape of california you inhabited, albeit. you took in the scenery for the millionth time that night with a renewed sense of disgust. at least now you had a legitimate reason to hate this place.

your waiter slinked over, and you could tell he felt bad for you with the awkward shuffling gait to the pity grimace on his face.

“so, uh, perhaps more bread?”

you rolled your face towards him, arbitrarily throwing animosity his way with your dead eyes, just because he was there. but soon your compulsive desire to be the funniest pathetic wretch in the room won out.

“i’m considering burning this whole place down right now, actually,” you joked.

he grit his teeth, sucking in a breath, “could i perhaps convince you to do that on a night i’m not closing, instead? tomorrow is my least favorite coworker’s turn, for your consideration,”

“hmm,” you pretended to think, “i’ll do that then, it’s only kind,”

“thank you for your generosity,” he grinned, “now, are you still waiting for someone or?”

-

douxie had been watching you for over half an hour now. not creepily. he swears. he just got a little excited when he saw you come into the restaurant is all.

anddd maybe he might have badgered the host into giving you one of his tables. but again, he was just excited. he’s been looking for an excuse to talk to you for the past three months, after all. forgive him for jumping on the opportunity.

he maybe fancied you. just a wee bit. perhaps a rather large bit. or at least, the version of you he’s cooked up in his head from the way he sees you interact with people at house parties and the things he’s heard from zoe.

but he’s sure he’ll love you. as soon as he gets to know who you actually are. which, hopefully, is about to be sooner rather than later.

he did not anticipate this situation, however. whatever benevolent deity blessed him on this night decided to throw a jar of pickled herring in with the otherwise yummy pastry filled gift basket they left for him.

not long after you arrived at 6:56 pm, not that he marked the time you came in or anything he just happened to glance at the clock around that time, he watched you, how they say, deflate. your demeanor shifted from antsy to sad to downright annoyed.

you were dressed nicely. not fancy, not pretending like this wasn’t a benoit’s. but nice. orderly. like you wanted to make a good impression on whoever it was you were expecting to meet. so either a date, or mayhaps a job interview.

not that you didn’t look nice or orderly on other days. you just weren’t in your hex tech uniform shirt. or in the incredibly casual clothes you wore when he saw you around. you were just. clearly cleaned-up, is all.

whoever it was, it was obvious that they were not coming. doux applauded you for being patient enough to wait this long, but again, they obviously weren’t coming. which, if it was a date, was good for him, but bad for you. very bad for you.

and honestly who does this person think they are? letting you down like this? horrible. disgraceful. this person was a grade A jerk-off. they have to be dead from the neck up to leave you waiting here like this, publicly embarrassing you as you sat at a table set for two all alone at one of the busiest restaurants in town. shame on them.

he was glad you seemed to be in the joking mood, however. and about arson, too. oh, he’s always had a soft spot for arsonists.

he hoped you’ll forgive him for having to do his job. if it was up to him, he’d give you all the bread in the pantry just so you wouldn’t leave. but alas, he had to deal the killing blow.

“now, are you still waiting for someone, or?”

your eyes drifted downward to the empty wineglass in your hand as you swirled it sarcastically as if it were still full.

you sighed, “yeah, no, it’s clear he doesn’t plan on showing,” you looked back up at him ruefully, “i’ll order now. i shouldn’t have waited this long for an internet man, anyway, huh? could’ve made it less pathetic.”

“i don’t think there’s a way to make these things any ‘more’ or ‘less’ pathetic,” he began taking out his notepad, ready to write, “because i wouldn’t call it pathetic at all. getting stood up is a thing that’s done to you, not because of who you are, but because of who someone else chooses to be… unless you stole this guy’s car or something. then it’s your fault.”

you laughed. genuinely.

“no, no, it’s a first date. i haven’t known this guy long enough to steal his car yet. but thanks… that’s. a better outlook than mine. kinder,” you apologized, “… uh, can i have like, the cheapest bottle of white wine you’ve got back there? the whole thing this time.”

“i take it back. that definitely made it pathetic.”

while you shared a laugh, douxie mentally congratulated himself. you had just given him the information that a) you were single and b) you were into men. a good day to be a charming single man, then. he had a chance.

“so are you ordering any real food as well? or did you plan on just having wine and bread for dinner? have to say, i don’t think that’s wise, love.”

“well i suppose i gotta, since, i’ve, uh, eaten three baskets of complimentary bread,” you stumbled over your words for a second there, “and i’m sure it’d make the manager mad if it didn’t, right?”

“right you are. he’s uh,” douxie lowered his voice, “he’salreadybeenonmydickaboutyou so yeah, you gotta. plus i’m just— you should eat something, yeah.”

you awkwardly turned your attention to the menu as you did that thing where you hold it and pretend to look over the menu as you order like you forgot or something, “the duck confit sounds good for tonight, i think,”

douxie snorted.

“no, no, that wasn’t a joke,” you shook your head, smiling fondly, “i actually just like duck, i promise. no sarcasm. i do understand the irony though. i get it.”

he didn’t completely believe you, “well then, one order of duck confit, coming right up. be back shortly, love.”

doux grabbed the breadbasket on his way out.

when he glanced back to throw you a short and unnoticeable but longing stare, as he paused in the kitchen doorway, you were fidgeting with the flowers on the table. he should get that order in now.

-

when your waiter came back with food, he placed two plates down on the table. you looked at him like he had suddenly grown a second head as he took the other seat as well.

“what are you—“

“i called in a favor with the owner. i’m still working but, i’ve got a bit of free time now. if you don’t mind me joining you,”

you shook your head in astonishment.

“not at all,” you smiled, still absolutely flabbergasted that this man would do something like this for you, “you’re douxie, right? zoe’s mentioned you a lot.”

“oH—,” he coughed, “oh, uh, she has?“

“yeah,”

he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, “only good things, i pray?”

“oh, sure. sure. good things,” you took a demure little sip of your glass to torture him with the pause implying the contrary.

he swallowed audibly. nervous, then. what dirt did zoe have on him. you watched as he awkwardly shoved up the sleeves of his shirt, perhaps feeling a bit warm now. it was cute.

you’d be sure to ask zoe all about him later. how could you not. this was the most interesting thing to happen all year. and it’s december.

you racked your brain for what you knew of this guy for conversation topics.

“you’re in zoe’s band, right? the lead guitarist.”

his face lit up at the mention of it, “oh, yes. you’ve seen us?”

“once or twice, i believe.”

it wasn’t really your thing, live music. you mostly hung around the back of the bar when you got dragged to shows. you liked loud, sometimes. just not often. it really depended on how your brain was feeling that day.

“well, you’ve gotta come to the next gig, then, at least. i’m sure zoe’s already invited you?” you nodded. “the venue’s holding a wee little music festival, it’s going to be nuclear,”

“ah, that’s fun,” you smiled. that sounded like hell but now that two very enthusiastic wizards have invited you, you don’t have the heart to weasel your way out of it. you’ll bring the “XTREME” ear plugs.

“but yeah, the bands great. i love that i get to play with my mates now. a team that works as well together as we do is rare, so i really appreciate them.”

“speaking of,”

doux hummed inquisitively.

“what’s going on with zoe and that new girly y’all’ve got on the drums?”

“oh,” he paused to take a sip, narrowing his eyes mischievously, “they’re boning.”

you clasped your hands together excitedly, “thank you! you’ve just won me a betting pool.”

he almost had to spit the wine back into his glass,“hhhh. how many?”

“oh, just the entirety of the hex tech arcadia staff.”

“i’m not sure she’ll be happy to hear that.”

“which is why you won’t tell her, mr. casperan,” you placed your hand over his with a cheshire cat grin.

well, he couldn’t argue with that.

dinner progressed. alas, you can’t say you lingered as long as you wanted to on conversation. you were kinda rushing things because you felt a little guilty doux was getting someone to cover for him while you had your little date. was this a date. it had to be. as mentioned, he’s going out of his way for this, and you can’t imagine he’d go through all this trouble because he wasn’t interested in you. but then again, you couldn’t believe he was interested in you either.

“do you like cryptozoology?” douxie tried his best to ask nonchalantly while he scratched the bridge of his nose to look a little less interested. he was feeling a bit energized since talking about the band. you had been paying attention to him like he’d been paying attention to you, if only in passing.

“a tad more than the average californian wizard, why?”

“well, later this weekend, i’ve got a job exterminating a goblin infestation in the next town over,”

“snelling?”

“yeah, snelling. the guy i was partnering with told me he was backing out this morning, so now i’ll be going it alone. and im sure you know how fighting goblins alone usually goes.”

“makes it easier for them to gang up on you, yes.”

“see, that’s why i’m asking if you’d be interesting in taking his place?”

“well, i’ve got the weekend off and nothing to do,” he knew that, he got the hex tech schedule from zoe every week(to know how to schedule band practice. and, if he also took a peak at your schedule, it was purely accidental. yeah.), “so, i don’t see why not.”

doux grinned, both relieved he wouldn’t be fighting goblins alone, and feeling clever that he found an excuse to spend more time with you, “perfect, i’ll text you the details? but, oh, i don’t have your number do i?”

you were about to ask why he couldn’t just tell you in person right now, but he said that soo hammy. it took .01 seconds to understand what he was doing. you snorted.

“okay, okay, here,” you held out your hand and he gladly placed his unlocked phone in your hand. you made the contact and sent yourself a text of the first emoji he had in his recents, which happened to be🫀. ah, a goth romantic. you gave him back his phone.

“perfect. thank you, love.” he tucked the phone into his chest dramatically before placing in back into his pocket.

you rolled your eyes fondly, “you know, goblin smashing isn’t exactly my idea of the perfect second date, you might have to turn up the charm.”

“oh, i’m sure i’ll make it worth your while,” he let his head fall into his palm propped up on the table, gaze going soft, “so was this a perfect first date, then?”

you laughed, “hardly. all things considered. but—“

“but?”

“but i’m glad it happened this way. i’ve had a good time, mr. casperan.”

he grinned in agreement, “me too.”

you put your hand on top of the one he left resting on the table, and he took the opportunity to take that hand and gently lay a kiss to the top of your knuckles. he lingered for a moment, eyes shut tight to take in the tenderness of the moment.

alas, he has to go back to work now.

doux pulled out your chair and helped you to your feet. you thanked him as he started stacking the dishes.

“should i—?”

“no, god no,” he chuffed, “i’m the waiter, remember? i work here.”

“oh yeah.”

that reminded you. you shuffled for your wallet, but he stopped you.

“i’m paying for dinner, love. go enjoy the rest of your evening, i’ll text you after i close.”

“you sure?” it didn’t really sit right with you, considering he probably took a pay cut by not working the whole time you were on this little “date.”

“well,” he paused, and placed the dishes back onto the table for time being, “you could leave me a tip, if you know what i mean. just a teeny thing—“

“c’mere,” you snickered as you pulled him down by the lapels to kiss him.

chaste, just a peck. but perfect and sweet all the same.

when you pulled back, you watched as douxie held his eyes closed for just a moment longer than he need to before letting that blinding all encompassing smile bloom across his face.

“well then, a very goodnight to you, y/n l/n.”

[danaduchy]

all texts from Judy

How's it going? ¡Hola! How you doin, V? Find those voodoo boys yet? * Sure did Hope you found what you were looking for? It was pretty interesting. Helped em out a little * That I did Helped them expand their turf, had a little run-in with netwatch, took a trip down cyberspace lane and met an AI * Didn't think you cared all that much… Course I do! After what you did for Evelyn… You're not just some rando anymore

* Not yet I can imagine * Been kinda busy As are all. Well good luck with your search * You know, same ol' same ol' Uhh… sure, alright O_O Dont really wanna get into details right now Sure, whatever works for you, but V… Take care of yourself, OK? I don't want you to end up like Ev * What about Evelyn? Any improvement? No changes. She's trapped deep in her brain somewhere. Must be goin through hell * It wont come to that Good to know Sorry, gotta run See ya

Ev's send off Hey Buried Ev today Colombarium near North Oak Thought you might wanna know * How do you feel? I intend to get thoroughly shitfaced today * Thanks for letting me know Right, no problem. Take care.

Got an idea Hey, V! Hey. Wanted to thank you again. Ya know, for helping me with Clouds Don't wanna think about what coulda happened if you hadn't been there Anywho, I think I got somethin that might help us Can't go into detes yet, but I'll holler at ya in a couple days Oh, and have a FABULOUS day! ;)

Morning! Mornin, sleepyhead Had to run, didn't wanna wake u Left you some breakfast. Eat up!

Thank you Knock knock Whatup? How's things? * I'm good * You know how it is Why? Somethin the matter? Had a great time in spite of the circumstances. All thanks to you Maybe we could do it again, just without spillin any blood :/ * Anytime Can't wait ;) * But thats what I'm good at… …True. Anyway, still waitin for Maiko to spill the detes on our meet Call you when I know more

Thanks again Heyo, V Everything ok? * Yeah, I'm good * Same as ever * Somethin happen? I'm all right… Thanks again. You know for what ;) You're a good friend. Just want you to know that Maiko still hasn't called. Should be anytime now Let you know when I get somethin fresh

All set Hey V. Maiko just called. We're all set. This afternoon, out in front of H8. Assuming you'll be there? Take care till then. And thanks… Again. It really means a lot to me.

Waiting on you Something urgent come up? Oh well, I'll just wait. Just be here before 8am

Come back Hey come back! I'm not gonna wait forever!!

We're waiting Still don't have time? We're waiting

Later then… Musta been in a real hurry… I'll try to come up with something, like, doable, but also fuckin mindblowing Be in touch. See ya soon

Umm… yeah So… looks like you weren't into it Oh well. Guess that's that then… About to finish packing and then I'm off. Buh-bye!

Bye Won't keep you long Ditching NC soon… I'm done with this sorry-ass excuse for a city Whatever you're up to right now - good luck [You have been deleted from Judy Alvarez's contacts]

Your payment Heeeyo! Sendin you the €$, just as I promised ;) Thank you, thank you, thank you for your help! Laterzzz!

WTF?! Nicely played, V. Very mature Whatever happened to the fearless merc named V? But you didn't have the guts to look me in the eyes Miserable * I was in a rush * I was really craving some fries Save it, V Don't message me again * Can we just talk about this? I'm sorry OK, I'll leave you alone. I'm really fucking sorry * You're really just gonna ghost me now? C'mon Judy, srsly? Fine, no means no I guess…

Our BD Heya, V Starting tuning our virtu - got me thinkin about you again. Got no idea how much Im digging this right now. Splicing two emotive tracks together is super hard - theres a lotta noise I need to filter out for this to come out baby-soft, but the contrast in our reactions… I mean, it'll give you shivers. Don't even have to amplify the emotional tracks. N O V A * Yeah.. sounds super cool No, it's fuckin AWESOME. And the best thing is, it's not pretentious or nothing. Totally relatable * Thats cute Cuteness has nothin to do with it, mi calabacita * Hehe, looks like someone's havin a good time Laugh all you want, calabacita. Its nova anyway * Calaba-wha? Nvm, nothing xD * Seriously? You callin me a pumpkin? Callin me FAT?! Noooooooo silly XD Nicer than callin you a gonk though Alright, I gotta go. Byeeee

Memory Hey calabacita! Still playin around with our virtu - found a still you might like

* Woah not bad Glad you like it * You enhance this? Just a teeny bit, nothin crazy Dunno, I like it. maybe I'll frame it and hang it up on the wall Could do the same for you if you want * Deffo. I'd love one Alrighty, I'll send it over when it's ready * Not really my thing, sorry Hehe, and you still ask why you're a calabacita <3 Okidokes, don't wanna keep ya. Catch ya later ;)

Helloooo Yooohoooo Know wat rymes with judy? BOOTY uh-huh uh-huh your so cuuuutee * Hey… you OK? You sound… weird * Lemme guess - you're wasted Jus out wit some ferns. frieends. * Okaaay, so you are drunk * Definitely drunk Weeeeeell… maybe jus a littl bit? * You could at least send me some stills * Just don't go too crazy, alright? * Pics or it didn't happen Sure <(((*> …fine, knock yourself out :D

I'm so sorry I'm sorry. And a little embarrassed -_- * How are ya? Sounds like you had a fun night Feel like some took a chainsaw to my brain * Maybe I should start putting you on a leash Start keeping my girl in line xD Try it, go ahead and I'll… I dunno. I'm too tired to come up with a comeback * Anything I can do to help? Nah, I'll be fine. I'm just tired. * I miss anything fun? Nah, not really. Just a girls night out. Couple substances, neverending tequila… you get the idea. Roxanne says hi, btw. Or did she? Talk to you later. Gonna go back to bed Before I forget, I got something for you. Sent it to your apartment. Sorry again… -_-' G'night

Got something for ya Heyoooo Got a lil somethin for ya. Should help get you get on your feet - who knows, maybe it'll come in handy down the line It's waitin for you over at mine - near the kitchen counter ;) * Awesome. Thanks Don't mention it :) * What is it? Not big on surprises, are ya? Nothin super special, don't get your hopes up. Couple of energy bars to keep your battery charged ;) Oh and I found a 12 gauge. Got it some time ago from the Mox. Don't really see myself needin it * Sounds great, I'll try it out * No such thing as too much iron Like a fly to ointment… Shoulda figured :P Watch out for yourself, OK? I know you've got shit goin on and that you're playin a high stakes game… But you're too young for me to be visiting your grave. Just sayin Welp, that got a little darker than I intended. Anyway, just be careful

Noticed something… Just opened my wardrobe and my favorite MaxTac uniform's gone! Someone's been naughtyyy! I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson ;) Hope at least you can put it to good use Errrr maybe I shouldn't say that. Especially when I'm not around ;) Nvm. Forget I said anything!

About the car Here's a good one - how do you know when NC's too crowded? When your ride disappears and you have to fuckin walk. ON. FOOT. Hope you enjoyed the ride. Next time just give me a heads up :P

Later V Hey V I'm leaving, V. For good. Can't stand it here any longer Wanted to tell you before, but you were gone. Sorry I guess it's better this way. Leavin everything behind, old hangups included. Once and for all Hope you come out of your thing in one piece Bye, V [You have been deleted from Judy Alvarez's contacts]

Hello from Oregon! Check this out

Hellooo from breezy Oregon!! * So is that the key to the meaning of life? The beach? xP Nah, more like sittin on my ass and doin nothin for once. It's relaxing Sorta. As much peace and quiet as you can get with my grams * Visiting your grams and gramps? Yeah showed up on their doorstep a few days ago. Dunno if they were happy or confused… Pretty nice being with family. Good people, good food, zero bullshit How's life in NC? Hangin in there? * Peachy as ever Still got that relic. But I'm workin on it * Could be better. Could be worse Still breathin. Guess thats somethin… You'll figure it out, V. You always do Gotta go. The elders are summoning me

On the road

Road's full of adventure

Hey from Seattle!

Seattle's calling! * Why Seattle? * What're you doing there? They got a pretty nova virtu studio here. Wanted to check it out from up close Maybe I'll rent out space for a couple days, play around with their tech, do some experimenting. We'll see But I'm not plannin on stayin long * Why not? Didn't leave NC just to end up right where I started. Least not right now Cuz otherwise it'll just be the same shit, different place * Where to after? Gonna head east. Roam around the country a bit Prolly wont have a sig for a while Hang in there, alright? * I'll try I'm sure you'll manage just fine * No promises Shoulda seen that comin. But I'm sure you'll manage just fine If I'm ever back in NC, we can crack some beers on the roof and you'll tell me everything And I probably won't believe any of it xP Anyway… Bye, V.

random ¡Hola calabacita! Thinking about you <3 Wanna guess what? * Wait, are you trying to sext right now? Because in that case, I'd better find a nice quiet spot… Wow what year is it, 2000? Please, you know braindance gets the job done muuuuch better. * Mmm, think you should show me sometime ;) You got it… Course, it's still not as good as realspace. * Ain't nothin' like the real thing baybaaaay Haha, true true * Yeah, think I saw something like that in an old movie once. Super weird :/ Aaaah, yeah, think I know the one. Classic. And yeah, nothin like the real thing ;) Now I forgot what I was gonna write. Ehhh, maybe it'll come back to me. Talk soon :) * Hmm… Wondering if I can do a double backflip with a full twist? The answer is yes. Good to know! But… no. Was just thinking if you were an animal, you'd be a dog. * Cause I'm cute and cuddly? Yeah, obvi… But you're also loyal. Woman's best friend and all that. * Cause I'm your fierce protector? Yeah. And the best friend I've ever had. * OK gimme a sec, there's gotta be a joke about tongues and licking in here somewhere… … you're the woooooorst I lvoe it xD Anywho, enough distractions, back to work for me * That if I were an animal, I'd totally be a dog. Because I'm cute, loyal and love to lick eeeeeverything wow Not sure if I should be blown away that you read my mind, or offended and disappointed at your crass attempt at a "joke" * Be blown away! I dunno, the licking… Please, you love it ;) I… yeah I do xD * You're complex, you contain multitudes, you can feel both at once. Haha true, I can xD

God pls no Shit Shit on a fucking shit cracker OK so… I uh, I was talking to my grams and I accidentally told her about you I'm just warning you, she might try to contact you… I'm sorry -.- Didn't give her your detes obviously, but she's got mad detective skills for her age. Honestly don't know how she does it. I'm so so sorry. * shiiiit Exactly * Haha big oops. You think it'll be that bad though? Just picture the DataKrash, that's the sort of destruction she's capable of. * Don't worry, I got this. OK…. And I got my fingers crossed for ya You do realize you can't shoot your way outta this one, right? * Hilarious Learn from the best ;) * Ugh, you win Like I always do :P So what can I expect? Basically a 5 ft 2 pitbull trained in advanced interrogation techniques But she's really sweet once u get to know her! * So I can't just ignore her, right? I mean you could try, but… Not really possible with her. * Come on, no way it's that bad I mean it, your little ol' abuela can't be that scary. Yeah… positive thinking, that's the way. Let's just say you've been warned. Please please please be nice and let me knwo how it goes, ok?

So my grams * Holy shit, Ainara Alvarez is one tough cookie I know, just got off the holo with her * You weren't joking about your abuela * Still breathing! Just got off the holo with my grams * Hope she didn't datakrash me She loves you <3 * And? I think she's a bit sceptical. …but she's always like that so :P * Do I even wanna know? Nothin' to worry about Don't think you two really hit it off Man if you two ever meet, it's gonna be good O_O Thanks for talking to her, V. I know she can be alot You're the best Just talked to my grams wow is she pissed. Take it you just blocked her? Yeah, I'm sorry. Hm, ok… * I panicked and blocked her omg Now I get why she compared you to Maiko * I can't deal with this drama right now Drama? OK… I'm sorry Listen… I know you got a lot on your plate right now. My abuela's not your top priority I get it. talk later

<3 So V… I need to tell you something. * Shoot. Just gotta get something off my chest * You're an NUSA sleeper agent And you just got burned. Bad. All you can do now is wipe your files, cover your tracks and flee this city of broken promises, never to return. WHAT?! O_O Great story, but no :P * Sounds like the start of every breakup text I've ever gotten What?! NO! Shit, didn't realize how that sounded Anyway, it's just that… Ok so you know I'm not great with feelings and stuff… But I've been thinking about the past few months and I wanna say thanks, V. For being with me, for everything you've done. And just for being you You're great. Just wanted you to know that. But now I gotta go hide somewhere, I'm all flushed -.- <3 * Awwwww my sweet little vulnerable leelou bean Jesus christ stop xD it's not funny!!! * <3 :) * No YOU'RE great. Quit it with the charm bub You're making it worse!

Yo, what up? * All good The queen of curt replies -_- Ok, well you know where to find me and how to make up for blowing me off. I don't like being taken for granted. * Stuff's been going down - I'm on a super-weird gig in Dogtown. Kay, so two things to unpack - "weird" and fucking DOGTOWN?! Start with the first. * I thought that's what you found attractive about me? ;) I signed up for the full package, so can't complain :) Not even about the expiry date…? You're really good at distracting me from work -_-  We're all fucked in the end anyway, right? But I like to think that at any given moment we're both immortal - and those are the moments that count, every single time. Damn, that's deep * I like the idea of immortality in the now. It's like with animals - they don't know they can die until they're faced with real danger. Then they forget. * I don't think I'm in the same headspace rn because I'm working. I'll hit you up when I'm done :) Sure thing. Judy out. *  I'm just getting warmed up Cut the foreplay and spill the detes already You're really good at distracting me from work -_-  Oh, sorry Miss Professional-all-of-a-sudden I'm at work too - it's just sometimes I need to take my mind off it to not go crazy

* Can I text you when I'm done? * Glad to know I'm what's keeping you sane :) Sooooo… Whatcha doin? Nothing much - on a gig like any other Aaaand her highness has returned. I won't press for detes >.< * Probably shouldn't. Don't wanna put you at risk - better safe than sorry. Ok, putting jokes aside for a sec - sounds pretty serious. You sure its safe? Should I worry? Cuz you know, it's Dogtown - not exactly the safest place, is it? * You dont need to - I'm a big girl. Can take care of myself. I know, I know, I'll stop mothering you. If you say everything's fine, then I believe you :) * I'm chasing a promising lead for the biochip - it's worth a bit of risk. Ok, well, I'd assume that you've got a handle on things, so I won't lecture you. I'll just keep my fingers crossed. But if thinkin nice thoughts about you is any help, then just know that I am <3 Keeping me safe by sending positive vibes? A kind of hobby of mine. I take it pretty serious. Maybe something'll come of it. * Guess we'll see - maybe with your help I'll wrap up sooner…? * It works. Scientifically proven. Initiating transfer of "Positive Vibrations" Level: 500% xD Can feel something already - it really does work <3 Told ya! Lemme know when you get a free evening :* * I'll tell you later. Pros don't spill while on the job. Maybe over pizza and beer when its all over? * I'll let you know, but this one's lookin like a marathon. * You got it ;)

Got this thing… Hey, you ever hear of a case where someone disconnects from their wreath but gets stuck believin they're the person they were reliving in the BD? V, can't have this on my plate right now. Go to a ripper. What happened?? * Actually… nvm. It's nothin. False alarm Oooook, if you say so. But you know I'm here if any real alarm bells go off * So, hypothetically, say someone has trouble returning to their normal self after using a BD… that like a problem? Scale of 1 to 10 * Scratchin my head over here. New choom of mine had an accident recently. A localnet power surge overloaded his wreath and toasted the circuits. Guy's been livin his life thinking he's this BD star ever since * New choom of mine had an accident recently. A localnet power surge overloaded his wreath and toasted the circuits. Guy's been livin his life thinking he's this BD star ever since Sure, yeah, not unheard of. Could be a compulsive user, maybe a massive hardware failure… in my line of work we like to call it Dissociative Identity Defective 'Dance Onset. Or DIDDO for short If the condition doesn't sort itself out you need to use what we call the divided attention method. You show em one thing that's uniquely personal and another that represents the personality they've taken on. The resulting cognitive dissonance should snap em out of it (fingers crossed) Good thing you reached out. DIDDO can become permanent if you let it linger too long

You busy? Heeey, calabacita <3 What's goin on? How you been doin? * Hey, not bad. Same old stuff "Not bad" means "good" in my book! Which is great, cause I was thinkin… * Could be better. Been too long since we saw each other :( Oh no! My poor V, gazing out the window, pining after me! We gotta do somethin about that ;) * Yeah, fine. Johnny says hi Oh wow… didn't know Johnny was even aware I exist :P So anyway, why am I writing to you… Maybe I could come over to your place? * Of course!! Know my address in megabuilding H10? I think so… worst case I just ask a neighbor XD * Definitely! Know my apartment in Northside? Course I do. Watson's my home turf, you gonkbrain :P * For sure! Come to my pad in Japantown <3 Will do, just hope no tygers pounce on me XD * Preem idea! I'll be waiting at my apartment in the Glen! Ooh, the Glen? Swankyyy. Can't wait :-* * Yeah! Come on by my Corpo Plaza setup, y'know, downtown Hot damn, ok! Hope I won't be too underdressed XD * I thought you'd never ask :P I'm in Dogtown! Uhh… Dogtown? Seriously? Think I'll pass. Can we meet somewhere else? See you soon!!

Hola, V :D I've missed you. Can I come see you soon? Hey there :) Can I get another invite to your place? Hey hey <3 Y'know, got a little free time… Wanna meet up? Whaddaya say… Me? Your place? ASAP? * You have to ask?? Swing by my megabuilding apartment! Omw! * 1000%! Let's chill in Northside :) Be there in a millisec! * You. Me. Japantown. Now. Oh hell yeah! * Call your cab now and meet me in the Glen! * Umm, obviously. ;) Meet me at my Corpo Plaza place * If you wanna come to Dogtown…? It's not that I don't want to… I'm just terrified for my life is all. Maybe come back to NC to see me? * Sorry, but now's not a great time. Don't be mad, I'll see you soon, k? :) Oh c'mon, I ain't mad! But I'll hold you to that ;) * Mhm, calabacita… bet you know what I'm thinkin :P

I loved seeing you. Seriously. Thanks for finding some time for me. Gimme a holler when you find some more <3 * Thank YOU for being there for me :) Oh c'mon, stop bein so damn perfect all the time ;) * You know I will, prolly sooner than you think ;) Already got a countdown started :P * HOLLER Haha! Got me blushin so hard it feels like my cheeks are on fire Kisses, hugs and snugs! xoxo

Hey Jude :) Interested in hangin out? Ok, I'm all yours! Maybe I can come over? Can't just this sec, calabacita. Sorry :( I'll let you know soon tho when I'm free! You're the best! Whoa, V! Thanks for the preem ride! Where are we headed? And when?? Will we even fit inside?! Hahaha * Haha, who knows where the road will lead us! <3 * So you like it?? Phew… :D xoxo Thanks, V! This bouquet meant to symbolize our love? Y'know, lasts forever, non-biodegradable, that sorta thing? ;) Aaand you might just be the first person to ever compliment my calves… * It's criminal I don't compliment them more :-* Ok… haha, thanks for preem gift, V :) * And that's plain unacceptable! you ain't wrong there :P

Got a sec? * Hey Judy, doin swell, thanks for askin Sorry… just been shit day. Feels like nothing's going right. * No need to be sorry, was just messin with you * Maybe I can help with that, get your day back on track Where do ya wanna meet? * Sure do I'm at Lizzie's Talk to Mateo when you get here. I'll come up and join you. Roger that, see ya soon * Something wrong? No, why would you think that? Can name a few reasons First off, no enthusiastic "Hey calabacita!". Second, not one :) or ;) to be seen Third, it's rarely just one message and done with you. When Judy texts, my screen blows up in blue lolol xoxo ;) Oh V, don't you know just how to put a smile on my face :) * Dunno, just don't sound like yourself

Hey calabacita :P Thanks for a great night. Hell, thanks for everything you do. I really needed that, V. And I know you could see it… Prolly know me better than I know myself Let's do it again sometime, yeah? Sooner rather than later I hope :) * Anytime! * Can't take all the credit. Had preem time myself. Hard not to when you're around :) Just gimme a buzz when you get the time and the urge again Oh I will. But first… gotta shake this hangover… XD

Heeey, I've missed you! Interest you in a drink or a dance? Hopefully both? Hey hey <3 I ever tell you how fine you are? Whaddaya say, wanna make this city our bitch tonight? Psst… been thinkin about me lately? Cuz you're all I got on my mind ;) I'm free tonight… You? Wanna blow off some steam. Think you can help me with that? * You even have to ask?? Where we startin tonight? Meet me at Lizzie's! Just let Matteo know when you show and he'll ping me! * You know I can't say no to you. ;) Same as last time? Hell yeah! C u at Lizzie's!

A short trip came up Hey, got somethin of a short trip comin up. Won't be in town for a bit. A month max Seriously? :( well, shit, miss you already * But think how happy you'll be once I'm back ;) True, guess that helps… a little :P * The time's gonna fly by, then you'll get to see the new me Like, literally What's that supposed to mean? Fill ya in when I'm back in town. For now, gotta go.

Pick up! C'mon pick up Hellooooooooo Pick up, pleeease V? Hello? Please just pick up! Wanna go somewhere? Yo, V, you ok? Been a sec since I got a buzz from you Got some time on my hands and thought maybe you'd wanna meet up? There's this preem lookin exhibit on 20th century tech. Prolly the only chance in our lives to lay eyes on a VCR :P There's that, plus someone kinda misses you… ;) Helloooo? Can you answer please? Even one word? Got me worryin V? Said you'd be gone a month and it's already been, what, four?… What's goin on, V? Why didn't I ask where you were goin… Said you'd come back 21 missed calls from Judy Alvarez

[evelili]

As an immigrant child, your new fic had resonated with me. It made me tear up eating dinner with my family.

When Saffron said, “This selfish desperation to know that I haven’t lost my connection to my home." It instantly took me back to being constantly teased by my friends for not being 'in tuned' with my culture like how they were, or how I desperately tried speaking in my native tongue with my parents, despite having a very clear american accent and them constantly assuring me that speaking in english is fine. My grandmother had passed earlier this year, she was the grandparent that I knew the least. I started asking about her from her sisters as my mother isn't in the state to answer anything, I've tried so hard to pick up the pieces of what her sisters have told me to construct an image of her personality. She used to constantly ask me to call her so when I read about Saffron talking about how video calls have were never the same and never enough, it hit me like a load of bricks.

Your fanfiction is so tremendously beautiful in describing the feelings I have felt all my life. How I know that where I am right now isnt home, but my actual home has been so unfamiliar after my grandmothers passing. I have constantly felt like I have disappointed her, so when Sunset confessed to the same thing, I couldn't hold my emotions in anymore. The ending with Saffron talking about how she would be waiting for Sunset to come home if she was her mother made hope that was true with me and my grandmother, if I were to ever reunite with her again when I pass away myself.

Thank you so much for writing this story. It was the most comfortable yet intense stories I have ever had the blessing to read. I am sorry for rambling and I hope this entire message makes some sort of sense? I hope whatever you're dealing with gets solved to the way you have hoped it would.

You have also made me see dal in a new light, it was never a food that I used to like, but I am willing to give it another shot lol

i looked at this ask earlier and had to take some time to process how to respond to this. i think tho i still dont really know how to, so i hope thats ok!

first of all, thank you so much for being comfortable enough to tell me ur story. it really means a lot that you would open up to me, a stranger, and the fact that you did so bc something i made had an impact on u quite actually moved me to tears. im a bit of a soggy mess rn lol. thank you again, truly.

second, i want to express my empathy for you and your situation with your grandmother. my grandad passed away before i could graduate, and it was during the height of lockdowns, so i hadnt seen him in a while. i didnt go to visit him in the hospital, so theres always this feeling of "what if i had called more? what if i had tried harder to visit? what if i spent more time with him?" that doesnt really go away. and, as a kid of 2 immigrant families, i can also really empathize with feeling a disconnect from your culture--when ur not surrounded by ur parents culture but u also visibly dont look like ur "from" the one u were raised in, it can feel really alienating, even though you havent done anything except just. exist in this sort of inbetween?

all of this i guess is to say that, i put a lot of my own experiences into this fic. and it's almost relieving in a way to know that u saw what i put there, and that this experience is something that other people have felt as well. thank you so very much again for reading ;v;

[pinkiepie20000]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ PINKIEPIE20000 X MALE READER ((ANGST!!!)) (MPREG) (PINKIEPIE20000 IS NOT A FUTA)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ synopsis: you're pregnant and pinkiepie20000 is the father! while you dream of becoming a family, pinkiepie20000 has other things in mind.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

pinkiepie20000 blinked at the small bump in your stomach, scratching her ass intently, digging at the crack with fervor.

"why are you pregnant"

You gazed tearfully up at pinkiepie20000, fondling at your dinger donger.

"how did this happen? I'm not a futa..." pinkiepie20000 sighed, scratching her ass with disappointment. How could you have gotten yourself a fetus to develop in your stomach? You literally have a dingle dongle...

"so... pinkiepie20000" you smiled at your beautiful pinkiepie20000. "What are we going to name the baby..? Do you think it'll be a girl or a boy?" you giggled gently, caressing the baby egg with love in your eyes.

"kill it"

"..."

"kill it"

"that's a weird name for a baby...!"

"KILL THE BABY"

"WHAT"

"EVERYONE IS GOING TO TELL ME IM A FUTA IF THIS GETS OUT. YOU NEED TO GET OUT AND KILL THE BABY"

"can we honestly e date? you’re so beautiful. You always make me laugh, you always make me smile. You literally make me want to become a better person... I really enjoy every moment we spend together. My time has no value unless its spent with you. I tell everyone of my irls how awesome you are. Thank you for being you. Whenever you need someone to be there for you, know that i’ll always be right there by your side. I love you so much. I don’t think you ever realize how amazing you are sometimes. Life isn’t as fun when you’re not around. You are truly stunning. I want you to be my soulmate. I love the way you smile, your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. If I had a star for everytime you crossed my mind i could make the entire galaxy. Your personality is as pretty as you are and thats saying something. I love you, please date me. I am not even calling it e dating anymore because I know we will meet soon enough heart OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i hecking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your girlfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninsterested in me it hecking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i’m begging you to eaither love me back or remove me and never contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you dont love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life."

"no i need you to get rid of the baby"

You tearfully look at pinkiepie20000. Did she really just reject your confession of love and desire to edate her??????? A-and to tell you to get rid of your beautiful baby that probably looks like an oversized lizard right now..?

"N-no!!! I'll never do that!! It's my baby!!!" You scream, clutching your stomach, your legs shaking. "I SHOULD'VE CHOSEN THE BEAR INSTEAD OF YOU!!! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!! I LOVED YOU!!!!" you fall to the floor on your knees in a full blown sob. "I THOUGHT THE GIFT OF YOUR TEMU DINOSAUR DILDO WAS A SIGN OF OUR LOVE!! A KEEPSAKE!! A SYMBOL OF OUR ETERNAL AFFECTION FOR EACHOTHER!!!!"

pinkiepie20000 simply looked at you and turned into the shark memoji, winking at you and sticking her tongue out before returning to her main form, Jeffery from Class of 09.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO OUR CHILD!! YOU.. YOU...." you sob, groveling at pinkiepie20000's feet. Much to your dismay, she starts reciting the lyrics to Look at Me from TWICE, the KPOP group. "YOU DEMON!!!!!!"

pinkiepie20000 started eating grass silently. You scream in pain. "PINKIEPIE20000 I SWEAR ON MY LIFE THAT ON SEPTEMBER 5TH, AT 3:26 AM THIS CHILD WILL BE BORN AND I WILL COME FOR YOU FOR CHILD SUPPORT!!!!"

"im telling you to kill the baby not raise it that's your problem" pinkiepie20000 returned to scratching their ass with great enthusiasm.

"WH... WH-" You choke and sob, glaring at pinkiepie20000 with betrayal. "ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE ME TO GO AND PEG THAT REDHEAD???"

pinkiepie spared you one last glance, smiling with a hand on their asscheeks, obviously giving them a good scratch. "I'm a Diluc pegger."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright © 2024 sofa [DO NOT REPOST.]

this was honestly so beautiful i shed a tear, im violently sobbing, write more i'll shoot the man next to me WHY IS THE TEMU DINOSAUR DILDO THERE THATS FROM JANUARY

[bteezxyewriter12]

Hi, i dont know if you accept requests, but can you make one of mx changkyun being sub?

What You Want

Pairing- Changkyun x Named Reader

Word count- 5.8k

Includes- Sub Changkyun, Dom reader, Blow job, deep throating, masterbation, pussy eating, cum eating, cock riding, reverse cowgirl, teasing, squirting, missionary, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxminee @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa @itsshaydeekaydee @seokwoosmole @wisejudgedragonhairdo @seonghwasstar @kpop-bambi @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝Monsta X Masterlist

J POV

Moving my mouth off his head, I lick slowly up the underside of his dick, listening to him moan

Sounds so pretty

"Is this what you want?", I ask, swirling my tongue around his head, licking the cum crying from his slit

Tastes good

"Yes", he whines, "Fuck yes!"

I smirk, sucking on his head once, "How long have you wanted this?"

"A long time", he pants, his eyes on my mouth around his dick

I push down my surprise, continuing to suck on his head

I had no idea he thought about me like this

I've only ever been the best friend

So imagine my surprise when I walked into his room in the dorm to hang out and instead find him jerking off, moaning my name

He, of course, was embarrassed when he realized I was standing in his doorway in pure shock

He immediately apologized, pulled his boxers up, his face so red

While it was bewildering, it was also a turn on

As he stumbled over his words, I sat next to him on his bed, my hand on his waistband

I asked if he wanted this and he nodded, shock now on his face

I took out his huge thick cock, softly stroking him for a few minutes until I couldn't resist anymore and I took him in my mouth

And here we are

As I suck, I move down his cock, taking him a little more than half in

I can take the rest of him but I need to prepare for it

Moving my head back and forth, I press my tongue on his underside, letting it slide along his dick

At the same time, I jerk him off in time with my movements

I don't know what it is but I really like sucking his dick

Yeah his cock is fucking thick, stretching my mouth out, heavy on my tongue but I'm enjoying this much more than any other blow job I've ever given

Going down his length a little more, his tip goes in my throat, making me choke as he groans so loudly

I grip his thigh with my other hand as I slowly edge him into my throat with every bob down his cock

The deeper he goes in, the more my eyes tear, the more spit there is, the more I choke but I don't stop

I'm determined to deep throat him

"Oh god Jo. Fuck", he whines, "So good"

I lift my eyes to him, the pleasure on his face so fucking hot

I finally take him all in, watching him as his head falls back, moaning so loudly the guys probably hear him

His hand winds in my hair, gripping the strands hard, his other hand landing on my arm that's on his thigh, squeezing my wrist

Keeping him in my mouth, I swallow on his dick, his body tensing, then I slide down his length to about half way

Surging forward, I take him all back in my throat, choking on him, spit everywhere

"Oh my fucking god", he cries

Breathing in through my nose, I relax my throat, forcing myself to stop choking

Fuck me, he's the biggest I've ever deep throated before

Breathing in, I start bobbing up and down his cock, sucking as hard as I can as I do

"Oh my fucking god", he shouts, his hand in my hair pulling, "Don't stop. Please don't stop"

Oh I'm not

I go hard on his cock, slurping around him desperately like I'm never going to do it again

Which I doubt I am

I'm pretty sure it's a one time thing thats only happening because I caught him jerking off

"Oh god I'm gonna cum", he moans, "Can I cum in your mouth? Please?"

I glance up at him, his chest rising and falling so fast, his mouth slightly open as bliss takes over his features

God, he's beautiful

"Please", he begs

I nod, excited to taste all of him

"Oh god", he whimpers, his legs shaking as I feel his cum fill mouth

Keeping him all in my throat, I swallow over and over, his moans getting louder and louder

He tastes so fucking good and I love the way his thick cum goes down my throat

He cums so fucking much that I have to swallow over and over even after he finishes

When I finally get all of his cum, I pull off his dick, sitting up, a soft groan coming from him

"Was it good?", I ask

His eyes stayed closed, nodding rapidly, "Fucking amazing"

Good

I'm glad I could make him feel so good and I thoroughly enjoyed it

I'm so fucking wet, so horny and I need to leave to fix it

As I stand up, his eyes shoot open, "Where are you going?"

"I uh need to go home"

"Why?", he asks softly, his cheeks pink

"Honestly?"

He nods

"I'm horny and I need to fix it", I answer, "So I'll go home and I'll call you when I'm done to see if you still wanna hang out"

I don't live far from here

Ten minute drive, max

He shakes his head slowly, "Do it here"

My eyebrows shoot up, "Excuse me"

He keeps my gaze as he moves over in the bed, "Do it here"

"Changkyun-"

"I wanna watch", he says, shocking the fuck out of me, "If uh... if it's ok?"

This is a situation I never thought I'd find myself in

Not with someone who's not my boyfriend

Definitely not with him

He keeps his eyes on me, almost like he's pleading

"I uh...ok", I say before I can stop myself

Oh what the fuck?

"Ok", he nods, "Can... can I take your clothes off?"

Oh my fucking god, I cannot believe he is saying this to me

But again, my mouth answers before my brain catches up

"Yes"

He moves to the edge of the bed, pulling me to him by my jeans loops

I stand in between his legs, his fingers unbuttoning and unzipping my jeans

His hands pull the jeans down, throwing them in his room once I get them off, along with my socks

His hands move under my shirt, pushing it up, his eyes on the skin of my stomach then travel up the higher the shirt goes

He gets it off, it following my jeans, then he leads me to sit next to him

I feel so exposed in just my bra and panties

He already has his pants and boxers off from the blowjob but still has his shirt on

Before he can undress me more, I tug on his shirt

He raises his arms as I slide it off his body, trying not to gape as his muscular body

I know Changkyun has abs

I'd have to be braindead not to know this, especially when he shows them off all the time

But seeing him in real life hits differently

Really differently

He raises his hands, moving them around me, undoing my bra

His fingers slide up to the straps, pulling them slowly down my shoulders

My bra falls forward, him catching it, gently putting it on the floor

"Oh my god", he breathes, his eyes all over me

I don't know how to react to his reaction

I don't know what the "oh my god" was about

But I do feel shy right now

He moves, grabbing pillows and moving them behind me

"You can lay down", he says softly

Ok then

I do, leaning against the pillows he put behind me

His hands slide slowly up my legs, his fingers sending fire through every fucking nerve he touches

He gets to the top of my panties, pulling them down my legs

Once they're off, I realize I'm naked in Changkyun's bed

Holy shit

He moves back to the foot of the bed, nodding at me

Right, I'm supposed to be masturbating

This is so fucking strange

But I'm still horny and looking at his body isn't helping

So, I slowly open my legs, exposing myself to him

He inhales sharply, his eyes on my pussy

Reaching down my body, I move my fingers in my hole, getting them wet

Then I slide up to my clit, rubbing slowly in a circle

Breathing in, pleasure slowly seeps in my body

As I keep going, all the shyness falls away as the pleasure increases

Every now and then, I look at him, his gaze staring intensely between my legs

I know I'm dripping wet, moreso than I think I've ever been

As he watches, he licks his lips, turning me the fuck on even more

"Is this what you want?", I find myself asking him

"Yes", he answers immediately, his eyes moving to my face, "Yes"

I just smirk at him, amused at how fast he answered

He swallows hard, his eyes returning to between my legs

I actually find that I like him watching

It's like he can't tear his eyes away

I move my fingers faster, every now and then sliding my fingers inside, pumping them a few times before going back to my clit

"Fuck", I moan, "Kyun"

He whimpers and fuck I like that

"Changkyun, mmmm", I continue, closing my eyes

His name just naturally falls from my lips as I always think of him when I play with myself

Sometimes I even call his name when I cum

I suddenly feel his hand around my wrist, moving my hand from my pussy

I open my eyes, looking at him

He looks like he's barely holding back control

"Can...can I help?", he groans

"Help?", I repeat

He nods

"How?"

"Trust me?"

Of course I trust him

He's my best friend

"Yeah", I nod

I watch as he lays down on his stomach between my legs, his hands gripping my thighs tightly

Before I can comprehend anything, his tongue buries in my pussy, licking rapidly and hard

"Fuck!", I cry, pleasure exploding in my body

His tongue licks along my slit, up and down, then swirling in between my lips

And to my utter surprise, he's moaning like he's the one getting pleasured

I watch my best friend between my legs, my brain not comprehending that he's eating me out

My body feels the pleasure but my mind is empty

The tip of his tongue circles around my hole over and over, anticipation killing me

He finally dips his tongue in, wiggling it as he goes and I can't help the moan I let out, "Kyunnie, oh god"

He squeezes my thighs hard the second he hears his name as his tongue fucks into my pussy

Strands of his long blue black hair fall into his face as he tongue fucks my pussy over and over

God he's so fucking hot, it's ridiculous

"So good Kyunnie", I whimper, another moan coming from him

I think he has a praise kink that I can definitely play into

"Is this what you want?"

He tongue doesn't stop moving, his eyes flitting to mine, his intense gaze on me through the strands of hair in his face as he nods

Moving my hand down, I brush the hair out of his face, sliding my fingers in, holding the strands back so I can clearly see him

His tongue slides up from my hole, rolling over my clit and my back arches involuntarily in a slam of pleasure

"Changkyun!", I cry, his tongue gliding over my clit again and again, making sure I feel his whole tongue, from the flat of it to the tip as he moves it

I'm so much pleasure it's insane

I had no idea my best friend knows how to eat pussy like this

He changes things up, thrusting his tongue into my hole, then licking out and up my slit, ending with flicking my clit

"Oh my fucking god Kyun!"

Everytime his tongue goes in, I clench around it and everytime he groans

"God Changkyun, you're tongue is fucking amazing", I praise him, feeling so good as he goes harder, "Like eating my pussy?"

"Yes", he moans, then licks my clit, sending pleasure running down my spine

His tongue flies on my clit and it's so hot watching his tongue on me

Suddenly his mouth closes around my clit and he begins sucking as fast as he can

I shout in pleasure, my hand pulling his hair, hips snapping into his face

He alternates between licks and sucks as my hips keep moving, fucking his mouth

I can't stop the movements, wanting to cum so much

I feel it coming, tingles spreading in my body, as my back arches

His tongue throws me head first into an intense orgasm, unbelievably intense pleasure tsunaming over my body as I scream his name

"Changkyun! Changkyun! Oh fuck, Changkyun"

His tongue slides down my pussy into my hole and I keep fucking his face, riding out the bliss on his tongue

After the orgasm leaves me, I slump against the bed, releasing his hair

His hands push my legs open more, licking away

"So fucking good", he murmurs, "So sweet, fuck"

Is he... talking about me?

With a final lick, he moves back on his knees, his eyes moving to mine

"You taste so fucking good"

Holy shit, he is talking about me

I have no words, my mind blanking on what to say

His intense gaze makes me look down, in shyness

But when I do, I get an eyeful of his hard straining cock, cum leaking all over the bed

Oh my god, he's so hard...again

Is that because of me?

Horniness surges through my body again

I want him

Sitting up, I move closer to him, my hand around his hard dick

"Hard again?"

He nods, breathing out as I move my hand up and down his cock

"Eating my pussy did this to you?"

"Yes", he whispers

I'm honestly shocked but I like it

"Think I should try it out?", I smirk

His gaze on mine, he whimpers out a "yes"

I'm surprised but fuck, I'm taking it

"Oh? Is that what you want?", I murmur lowly, "Me sliding up and down your dick, riding you hard until I cum all over your cock? Using your cock to get off?"

"Yes, please yes", he moans

I really had no idea Changkyun could be so submissive

Just with the way he acts and the way he is on stage, he definitely seemed like one to dominate during sex

But I'm ok with doing the dominating

Letting go of his cock, I push him down hard on the bed, his back hitting the mattress

I turn around, climbing on him

I can't fuck him facing him

I can't see him under me, his beautiful face knowing this is the only time I'll ever be with him

I can't have that in my head, wanting that all the time when I know it'll never happen

Plus he's a guy so I know he'll like watching my pussy fuck him

I reach between us, guiding his cock to my hole and I start sitting on him

"Oh fuck", we both moan as I take him in, inch by inch

He's so fucking thick I have to push down hard to get him in but he opens my pussy so pleasurably, making me clench hard around him

He's so long but I'm definitely going to get him all in

There's no doubt about that

I bottom him out, sitting right against his thighs, just feeling him

He's so hard, touching all the right places, his head right against my spot, the full feeling so satisfying

I can't help starting to rock on him, his head rubbing my spot sending shivers down my spine

"Shit Kyun, you feel so good", I praise him, grinding on him, "So fucking big. You fill me up perfectly"

He whimpers as I start bouncing, feeling his perfect cock dragging through my cunt, giving me so much pleasure

It's insane how good he feels, almost like it's not real

But it is

I know it's because of my feelings for him that add to the pleasure but I push those away

It's just sex

I have to remember that

Leaning over on my hands, I bounce harder, now sliding up to his head and taking him back in with slam after slam

"How does my pussy feel?", I tease him, shaking my ass as I wiggle down his cock

God, he splits me open so fucking good, I can't get over it

"Fucking incredible", he gasps, "Tight. So fucking tight. So tiny. Wet. God you're so wet"

I know, I can hear the pornographic sounds of my soaked pussy taking his fat cock over and over

"You like my pussy this wet?"

"Yes", he whines, "Love it. Creaming my cock so much. All over my lap. So hot"

I can feel how wet his lap is and I'm actually shocked I got this wet

I definitely have never been this wet before

I have never felt pleasure like this before

It's everywhere, in every cell of my body and I'm happy it's him making me feel this way

At least I can have one mind blowing sexual experience with him

His moans get louder as I ride him hard, making me smirk

I'm glad I'm giving him so much pleasure as well

"Feels good Kyunnie?", I ask

"Yes", he chokes out

"How good?"

"Ttt... .the bbb...best", he stammers

He's lying

There's no way I'm the best

He's only saying it in the moment but still, I like hearing it

"Best pussy that ever fucked you?", I tease

"Fuck yes, yes. God, yes"

I wish

I look back over my shoulder at him, smirking, "Well then, maybe I should stop"

"Wah?", he barely gets out as I stop my movements once he's all in, just sitting on him

His cock throbs inside me as I squeeze him and I love that feeling

"Nnn....no", he whines, "Please"

"Hmm but if it feels too good, then you'll cum and I can't play anymore"

"I won't cum", he pleads, "I promise, I won't"

"I don't know", I answer, my smirk getting wider at the desperation on his face

This is fun

"You seem like you're barely controlling it"

"I can", he promises, "I can hold it"

"We'll see"

I slide up his dick, slowly, to his head, keeping it inside and clenching on it

"Fuck", he whimpers

I push down, sliding to about half his length, then go back up again

"No, all the way down. Ppp..please"

I slide down but again only half way before going up again

I do this a few more times, so slowly, hearing his frustrated whines

Sliding down again, he whimpers a please and I decided I teased him enough

This way

Taking him all in, I groan as his head rubs my spot as I sit on his lap

Beginning to move again, I give him what he wants and take him all in each time but I keep up the agonizingly slow pace

I like the way this feels too, where I can feel every inch of his thick cock moving inside me

But I know he wants it faster

"I can't...", he cries, begging, "More. Faster. Please baby, ride me"

The "baby" makes my heart catch but I refuse to make it a big deal

It does affect me but I won't show it

Giving in, I move up his dick then slam down hard and fast

"Yes fuck", he yells as I start bouncing again, fucking him hard

Fast

"Oh god", I whimper, taking his cock over and over

Fuck, the feel of him moving in and out is something I don't want to end

It's too fucking good

Mind blowingly good

The constant pleasure is bringing me so close to coming

"Gonna cum", I moan

"Yeah", he chokes out, "Cum on me. Please"

"Is that what you want?", I ask

"Yes, please yes! Wanna feel you"

Thank god because I'm right there

Sliding down, stars blast in my eyes as ecstasy explodes all over me and I cum on his perfect cock

"Changkyun!", I yell, my arms shaking as I try to hold myself up

"Oh my fucking god!", I hear him shouting, "Holy shit, it feels so good. You feel so good"

Through the pleasure, I recognize that my orgasm feels good for him

Holy shit

When the pleasure finally ends, I lean down on my arms, sucking in air

I'm so sweaty, so hot

"Please, more", he begs, "I want more of you"

I want more of him too

So much more

"Yeah Kyunnie", I tell him, starting to get back up on my hands

"Wait", he says softly, "Face me. Please"

I close my eyes, trying to figure out a way to tell him no

I feel his hand touch my thigh, slowly moving up and down

"Please baby"

Fuck

Knowing I can't deny him, I nod and move off him, bracing myself to have the image of him under me burned in mind

🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

Changkyun POV

She moves off me and turns around

My breath catches seeing her beautiful face, her sweaty hot body climbing on top of me

I was so embarrassed when she walked in on me jerking off to her but fuck right now I'm glad she did

I never thought I'd ever be with her like this

I've fantasized about her for years, wanting only her

Falling in love with her

But she's oblivious, only seeing me as her idol best friend

And I'm too scared of losing her to say anything

I can't handle her ending our friendship because she doesn't feel like that for me

She's been in my life since we were eight

I need her

She holds my dick up, sitting on my head, pushing down

"Fuck", she moans, her eyes closed, her hands on my chest as she wiggles down my cock

I moan too, feeling her incredibly tight pussy stretch open around me

Just getting inside her is fucking amazingly blissful

She's so wet, dripping down my length as she buries my whole cock inside her

Her hips immediately move, grinding down on me, pleasure shooting up my spine and spreading to every fucking cell

"Ready baby?", she asks

Oh god, hearing her call me baby....fuck it's something I only dreamed of

To say I love it is an understatement

"Yes", I answer

She sits up, running her fingers in her sweaty hair, tossing it over her shoulder

God, she's so fucking hot without even trying

She leans on my stomach, starting to move in small bounces

I watch her move faster, her bounces increasing until she's sliding up to my head then surging back down, burying me deep inside her

She moans each time, rocking on my head and I suspect that's hers spot because her body trembles every time

"Dddd...does it feel good?", I ask

She smirks down at me as she bounces, her beads of sweat rolling down between her breasts

Fuck me, so hot

"You cock is so good Kyunnie", she answers, her eyes staring into mine, "Gonna want to ride you everyday"

I whimper, nodding, "You can. Please, you can"

Anything to be close to her

She raises her eyebrow, "Oh yeah? You'll let me use this cock anytime I want?"

Definitely

"Yes"

"Hmm", she says, "Good to know"

She rides me harder, her boobs bouncing in my face and I just want to touch her

"Can I touch?", I ask softly

She tilts her head to the side, "Is that what you want?"

She's asking that question a lot and each time it's a resounding yes

I never submitted so fast to anyone but once I heard her ask me that the first time I just did

And I've been submissive the whole time

Honestly, I like it a lot

I like her taking control, I feel safe with her to let her control me

And she's so good at it

"Yes", I answer

"Ok baby. You can touch", she agrees

I immediately move my hands to her thighs, slowly dragging them up, over her hips, along her body, feeling her soft smooth skin

"Fuck", she whimpers, "Your hands feel so good"

I smile softly, continuing the path my hands are going

Finally wrapping around my hands around her boobs, I squeeze gently

Fuck, they're so soft, so bouncy, jiggling in my hand

I rake my eyes up and down her body, watching her move so hypnotically on me

Her pussy takes my cock so easily, so much cream all over my lap and my dick, her tiny hole stretching so prettily

I can't believe she takes me so well, moaning that I feel good

I'm glad I can give her so much pleasure, it's something I've fantasized about

Having her under me, moaning for me to fuck her more, begging me to cum

This is different and truthfully better than my fantasy

"Changkyun", she whimpers, leaning back on my thighs as she impales herself on my cock

I can't describe the feeling of hearing her moan my name

It just turns me on and I never loved hearing my name more

She moves faster than I thought she could, desperately fucking me, the pulsing of her cunt around me so fucking pleasurable

"Kyun"

"Please cum on me", I whimper

I need to feel it again

Her orgasm....the pleasure from it.....fuck

Like nothing I ever felt

"Changkyun!", she cries, coming on me, her body shaking, hands squeezing my thighs as bliss crashes over me

She clenches me so hard, making me gasp, my whole lap soaking wet

Looking down, I gape as her pussy squirts all around my cock

Oh my fucking god

I didn't know she could do that

It's so fucking hot

Moving my fingers to her clit, I rub it quickly in a circle, wanting her to keep coming

She finishes squirting but her hips move, rocking on me, squeezing the life from my dick

Pleasure is all over her face, her body soaking in sweat, her nipples so hard as she cries my name, orgasming right after squirting

"Fffff....fff...fuck", I choke out, feeling the spasms from her cunt so acutely

She's so fucking gorgeous

Her body slips to the side when she finishes and I grab her to keep her upright

"I want to fuck you", I blurt, needing more of her, "Please, can I fuck you? It's what I want"

She opens her eyes, gazing at me

"Yeah", she agrees

Sitting right up, I pull her to me, rolling us over, getting her under me

Before I do anything, I move down her body, open her legs and lick up all her cum

"Kyunnie", she whines

She tastes so fucking amazing, so sweet, I need it

Cleaning up her pussy, I press a kiss to her then move up, on top of her

She looks up at me and I don't think, I just lean down and crash my lips to hers

In the second her lips touch mine, absolutely everything changes

My head spins and I feel like the ground is falling away from me, the butterflies in my stomach going in a frenzy

She's mine

I can't let her go

She's the one

I knew she was all along but this one kiss confirms it

She instantly kisses me back, her arms around my neck, her fingers in my hair, her tongue against mine

As I fall into her kiss, I move her legs around me, sliding right inside her until I'm buried to the hilt

Her body shakes against mine, arching into me as she moans in the kiss

As we kiss, I pull back then roll my hips towards her, my cock sliding back into her, loving the way her pussy splits open for me

As I thrust, I slowly build up speed until I'm fucking into her, swallowing all her gorgeous moans

Her arms move from my neck to around me, her hands on my back, holding me against her as I pound into her

"Don't let go of me baby", I murmur against her lips, loving the feeling of being in her embrace, "Please, keep your arms around me"

She nods, pressing her lips to mine again

Slipping my hand down, I grip her cute ass, pressing her as close as she can get, the wet sound of her pussy taking my cock so loud in the room

I can't tear my lips from hers, kissing her wildly, passionately

I can't stop, I need her lips against mine

I don't know if I'll ever get to kiss her again and that thought is heartbreaking

Her fingers dig into my back as the familiar feeling of her pussy fluttering around me intensifies

She's close

And I know I'm gonna cum when she does

Breaking the kiss, I lean my forehead against hers

"Ccc....can I cum inside you?"

She smiles so beautifully, "Is....is that.... fuck....what you want?"

I nod, "Yeah baby"

"Yes. You can"

"Is that what you want?", I ask her

I want her to want that too, not just to say yes because I want it

"Yes Kyun, yes. I want it", she moans, her fingers gripping my back hard, "Want your cum inside me"

I groan at her words, fucking into her spot harder

"Fuck, fuck Changkyun!", she cries, her legs tightening around me as she cums all over me

The ecstasy I feel shoves me over the edge and I shove my cock all in, falling into an intense orgasm

"Fuck Joanne, oh god Joanne!", I shout, shooting my cum deep into her

"Fuck Kyunnie, baby", she moans, both of us clinging onto each other, "Kiss me"

Anytime

Crashing my lips against hers, I kiss her deeply, my tongue immediately against hers

She holds me tightly as the pleasure ends, her lips never leaving mine

I pull out of her and we both roll over, facing each other, tangled together

I never want this to end

Everything is perfect

We kiss for a long time, just holding each other but of course it has to end

I look down at her, running my fingers in her hair, her cheeks turning pink

She breaks eye contact, saying, "Uh I...uh I guess I should go"

I panic, not wanting her to leave

If she leaves then it's over, everything is done with and I'll never be with her like this again

I shake my head, "Don't go. Don't ever go"

Confusion fills her eyes as she asks, "I...I don't know what that means. I'm uh gonna have to eventually go. We can't stay here forever"

But god do I want to

"I uh should go before it gets more awkward"

"No", I whisper, despair filling me, "Don't leave me jagi. Please baby don't go"

I know she's so confused and I just say fuck it

"I love you", I whisper, her eyes widening in shock, "I...I love you. Please Jo, you're...you're the only one I want, the only person I ever fell in love with. I want to be with you so badly baby. I love you so much"

I know I sound so sad and pathetic, begging her to stay with me but I don't know what else to do

I don't know how else to make her know how much I want her

"I love you", she whispers, shocking the fuck out of me

"W..what?", I say, scared that I just imagined what she said

"I love you Kyunnie. For a long time. I just want you too. If you're serious then I'll never leave you"

Happiness bursts in my body as I nod, "I'm serious jagi. I love you"

"I love you", she smiles, running her fingers in my hair, "You're all mine now"

"Always jagi. I was always yours and I always will be"

"And I'll always be yours Kyun"

I smile so happily, in awe that she's finally mine

"Kiss me Kyun", she whispers, "Kiss me and don't stop"

"I won't", I promise, pressing my lips against hers in a kiss full of love

[xo-xojj]

Hold Me Close

(gif not mine)

Oliver Otto x Male Reader

Request: Nope

Desc: Reader gets sent back after hearing about Olivers experience at work.

Type: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Metions of suicidal thoughts, depression. Eating disorder metion. Reader has body dysmorphia And fluff at the end

Enjoy<3

It had been a long day for Oliver. He came back to his house and gors to his bedroom to see his boyfriend laying on his bed. He smiled softly dropping his bag down on the ground. He walked over to (y/n) kissing him softly then laying down next to him. “how was work. You seem stressed.” (y/n) said brushing a couple hairs out of Olivers face. “You read me like a book. Well since you asked it wasnt bad, I just got a call from someone who, uhm, i guess you could say they sounded like they were sinking. And i didnt really expect it to be honest. I was pretty embarrased because I wasnt really prepared to handle that today.

(y/n) frowned, as it was something that kinda tugged at his heart strings. He was now not in a good mood. And it wasnbt even Olivers fault. He asked how Olivers day was. He just wasnt prepared for that answer. Oliver could feel the obvious shift in the room. “Whats wrong, I mean i know it bummed me out but i didnt mean for-” “No, dont apologize, nor worry about it.“ (Y/n) cut oliver off. He gave oliver a soft kiss before getting up and going to the bathroom.

(Y/n), as usual, ate dinner with the Otto’s. He did this because his mother worked 3rd shift so it was easier just to eat with his boyfriends family instead of cooking himself. The Otto’s chatted as usual until Taylor brought up how (Y/n) was eating. He hadnt noticed he was eating a little fast, even though he could assume what from. He hadnt eaten a meal since last week. Just water and maybe a fruit before school. “Damn, your messing that up (y/n)“ Taylor said, obviously joking. But (Y/n) felt a nerve struck as he stopped. The dinner table was quiet as they all looked at (y/n). He swallowed his food with a guilty look on his face. Oliver looked at his boyfriend with confusion on why he wasnt talking. (y/n) suddenly stood up amd excused himself to the bathroom. The whole family looked at eachother witg confused facea. They were used to jokes with eachother. What happened now?

It was finally the weekend and Oliver couldnt stop thinking about (y/n) ever since what happened Wednesday. And it was the last time they had talked. Oliver went over to (y/n)’s house. He knocked and there his boyfriend was. “hey!“ Oliver said hopeful. “whats up“ (y/n) said. “can we talk if you dont mind, i dont wanna stand out here and talk because it kinda looks weird.“ Oliver said quickly. And (y/n) moved back so oliver could come in and closed the door behind him. The two sat down on the couch. “What happened Wednesday?“ Oliver askes sincerely. “Uhm nothing, why?-“ (y/n) gets cut off. “Dont bother lying, (y/n/n) I know something was up ever since i told you about what happened to me at work. And i doubt that what i told you was the main thing bothering you“ Oliver said. He placed a hand on (y/n)’s hand and squeezed it. “Talk to me, please.“ Oliver begged hating seeing his boyfriend like this. (y/n) started to break down in olivers shoulder. He sobbed and stayed like that for a couole minutes. Wetting Olivers blue shirt. Eventually (y/n) lifted his head up not looking up at his boyfriend until his boyfriend, Oliver made him look at him. “Talk to me (y/n)“ Oliver asked again. “I just uhm, felt kinda stupid. When i was 11 I had gained weught along side an eating disorder. I really hated the way i looked and at times i do now. And it uhm, got to a point where i had tried to.......“ (y/n) said stuttering. Now everything made sense to Oliver. Thats why he left the dining room, his bedroom, and kinda ghosted. He was embarrased. “Hey, if you dint want to you dont bave to say anymore. I get it“ Oliver said kissing (y/n) softly before holding him and rocking back n forth as he cried. “I just didnt wanna become a burden“ (Y/n) said and It broke Olivers heart a little. The person he truly loved with his whole heart had been through so much and he only knew a little. To hear his boyfriend call hinself a burden hurt oliver himself more than anything. “No. God no youd never be a burden. Thats what i do. And id be damned if i didnt do it for you. Im here for you.“ Oliver said. They cuddled there and they just stayed like that until they fell asleep. From then on Oliver Cherished his boyfriend and wanted to protect him with his whole life. He never wanted to see (y/n) hurt again.

[kosmicdream]

im confident enough to post FFAK, which has anal prolapse, but i dont post the true drama....... my opinions about manga. *dramatic music* sometimes i kinda want to do some reviews.. its mostly me complaining.. it makes me sound so bitter like "do you like anything kosmic!" and..yes ! i do!!! okay!! i like a lot of things. once in a while, i dip my toes into a popular series to try to see if we are a good fit. Series like: Beastars, Dorohedoro, Dungeon meshi,ect.. and i kind. well. I dont like any of them LMAO. I mean, Ok, i actually really was into Beastars for a time, but after the fight with the bear guy (its been a few years sorry) and that story arc concluded.. it just spiraled to laughable levels and did not recover. I was genuinely laughing at it at times bc it kind of felt like a desperate scramble with the like. loopholes and power upgrades.. But I was invested for a time, it had a charm to me! I also loved the art and im curious about the authors next series about santa (partly because i too, am writing a story about santa). Dorohedoro has a great visual style, fun characters, i enjoyed reading but it also kinda didnt ...land for me beyond that, which is a shame. I feel like it is a series that "should" have clicked with me. And its like, not offensive to me but.. I'll forget that ive read the whole thing. I like STUFF in it. but thats not enough for me anymore. If i had read it when i was younger tho, it might have been a diff story. idk. My most unpopular opinion of all is that... I hated Dungeon Meshi.. Sure its ..pretty! cute designs. but i found it SO painfully boring and it actually was a struggle to finish. in the end, it felt like a waste of time.. SHOCKING take i know. That is the darling of everyones heart and i like, understand WHY its popular. .. but for me, i was not fed by anything. i am unfed and starved and going to eat elsewhere oh, and i.. as a person who has read a lot of fighting mangas.. I have tried to read chainsaw man, but i dont know if I can. I did finish Fire Punch. I'm surprised to say: i kinda liked it but it took a long time to force myself to read thru it. I honestly hated many aspects of Fujimoto's storytelling/character acting that i didn't think my opinion on it would change, but I'm a little more open to it now. I dont think i could ever super be into it or whatever, but i did find genuine enjoyment in aspects of fire punch. I did not really like look back. I haven't read his other one shot(s)? Where am i going with all this..I guess im giving some unrequested reviews after all...oops... a lot of this is spurred by how houseki no kuni is one of my most fav series, not only visually/characters/story/ect.. but i cant lie.... the ending... was kind of a flop for me... gorgeous and poetic ig sure but.. AUGH! it isnt what i wanted. maybe it'll be one of those "it'll grow on me" endings but thats mostly me having to go thru the 5 stages of personal grief and gaslight myself into it, but as the like actual honest first-reaction feeling it kinda lost me. I think it did not work when i felt the confrontation btwn phos/cinnabar wasn't the one i wanted to see. i will say tho, while im dissapointed, its not like a DEEP one or anything. I know its a miracle to even get to an ending.. i guess my take away feeling from it was like "everything fit together too well, too planned" but didnt feel planned, emotionally. I wasn't sold on it. Anyway, im here to speak my truth and my hot takes which, i honestly dont even want to have that one about HnK but its the real feeling i have for it.. Once again Utena's ending just has made all these other issues i have with various stories more obvious LOL