#and now he's doomed to never be with the likes of

[thirdeyeblue]

(Your tags deserved to live on!)

it's insane to me that people can't get past the nuances of rose and mickey's relationship and how they're both good people who don't do right by each other. like this is a show where the main character (allegedly) kills his entire species and you can't get past why two people who started dating in their teens might fuck each other up a bit

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Okay, I actually really like this. And I can say why.

"But Dana isn't it hypocritical to Like Lunar's 'villain arc' while disliking Nexus's?"

Not really. Because what Lunar is doing is consistent with his character. Which is, entirely selfish motivations as he has always had before, and I'll explain Lunar's motivations and why he makes a better compelling villain arc. And who knows, maybe Lunar will rush back and say he's sorry after one or two episodes when Nexus didn't.

But Nexus/N!Moon grieving over someone he loved, everyone assuming he's evil and them making a heel turn into 'irredeemable evil' I didn't like because it was contradictory to the past year we spent with N!Moon and unintentionally felt like it villainized grieving in an ugly way. And I've expressed the dislike of All of Nexus's worst fears coming true. He believes his family doesn't understand, they treat him like villain immediately. He thinks he's easily replaceable and not as talented as the Old Moon. Old Moon comes back, replaces him, is accepted immediately and was proven to be intellectually superior to N!Moon. He thinks he's broken that he's beyond repair and can't be fixed. Earth gave up on him really quickly despite being aware of his coping mechanisms (lashing out) (even before the "collateral damage" thing) Ruin lied and manipulated him and killed Solar. Nexus never wanted to be manipulated again.... D!Sun put the plans in place that he was the perfect pawn in an interdimensional sacrifice to get the outcome he wanted. Nexus wanted his family to join him and understand him. No one understood him and he died at the hands of his own brother.

Nexus died with all his worst fears and nightmares confirmed true. It's honestly tragic and horrible.

NOw.... Lunar. Getting into this little bean. Has a far more compelling reason to be corrupted by Negative star power. That is consistent with his character and just doesn't replace Lunar with... Lexus or something.

So Lunar was just told recently by Taurus and Gemini, that he has reached the precipice of his training and neither will train him anymore. With his mental block on his trauma and Eclipse and just apathetic to everything, he can't tap into his emotions or power. Understandably, Lunar is frustrated by this and feels no one is listening to him and feels his partner is being demeaning (they're not. And it's not about him. But Lunar is to selfish to get that.)

People often don't understand that Gemini does not try to be intentionally demeaning to Lunar. They do not have human emotions like we do, or even the animatronics do. They operate at a different level beyond our human comprehension, So I don't place Astrals into mortality boxes. And Lunar, is still a very childish and selfish character, and seems to not understand their partner. Even if they do like them a whole lot. They just don't understand them at a fundamental level. It's hard to have an emotional connection to someone who doesn't have human emotions, (or who is just starting to feel emotions in small doses but that's just a theory) and Lunar does not have the patience or emotional maturity to deal with someone who operates like that.

So Rez puts it out there for Lunar to get stronger then they are willing to train him and SO OF COURSE Lunar would jump at that because he feels infantilized and has felt that way by his partner for a long time. Keep it in mind, Gemini does not do this intentionally, and makes this clear to Lunar MANY TIMES over the entire course of the year they have been interacting.

Not to mention, Sun killing Nexus disturbed something across dimensions. It's as I said when Nexus first turned to the dark side. It's like all Moon's destiny is to inherently be doomed by ambition. Lunar included in that. Lunar following in Nexus's footsteps. Because those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it. And Lunar is the prime example. And this is horrible. Maybe it's hypocritical of me to like Lunar's heel turn into a Sasuke arc. But this is on a path of destiny that needs to break. And that's why I think I find it a bit more compelling from a character motivation and writing stand point. So. Yes. Lunar abandoning his family when they need him. Horray!!!

I think I just like it because it is consistent with all of Lunar's characterization up to this point. And because he did not care or know what was going on with Nexus, he will get corrupted by the NSP too. Who knows, maybe Lunar will gain a new found sympathy for Nexus knowing how Dark Star Power fucks with your head and insecurities.

[crustyfloor]

lowkey becoming a Till hater after this. I hte that guy (Regretted writing this 2 seconds later)

It was established earlier in the series that some of the cast do have parents, some know their parents or remember their face, some don't, I feel like it was important to us to know this fact about Till, because this comic answers more questions about him than I had thought, such as where his sense of humanity originates from entirely.

Starting the comic off with "Lo has always wondered ever since the creation was born whether or not providers also felt the same emotions that they were feeling towards the creation" shows more about the environment of Alien stage than I initially thought, Lo seems to love Till more than any "parental figure" I've seen in alien stage, its real, its affectionate, but Alien stage is so dystopian and detached from our society that Humans have no real solid attachment to morality, social code, etc. Aliens could never relate to humans either, so how can they enforce what they don't understand? This leaves Humans to figure it out on their own because no matter what, they'll still be human and feel inexplicable emotions. Love is one of these major emotions that get confused. and loving someone is normal, but I can imagine "Providers" can't afford to be as attached to their "Creations" as Lo was, they couldn't help forming a special bond with Till. But I love that it's immediately established that Lo loved Till as much as they could, and he wasn't brought into the world without care and familial love.

And it's also made clear that Till's passion for art and music was apparent from the jump.. even as a child, he composed his own song and sang it to his mother, he started showing skill and talent at a young age, he was as much of a prodigy as he's always been said to have been, but Lo's expression upon realizing that is so unmistakably afraid. Lo knew more than anyone in that situation how risky it would be letting Till go on because singing, they were more than familiar with the environment of Alien stage, the elaborate display of talent and entertainment on the big screens, the inauthentic excitement of the performers, Till was almost just like them, and Lo knew that Alien stage was where innocent children like him go to be chewed and spat out by Segyein until they had their fill and moved on to the next talent, Lo feared that fate all the same, humans like them didn't have the right to just sing when they want however loud they want, their voices didn't belong to them. Not anymore, but Till had made it into something of his own, he was too naive to know the truth.

They knew the risk, as a survivor, Lo knew what life, what horrors Till would be subjected to if this was ever found out by the aliens who would only use it to hurt and market him, to put him through a grueling cycle of pain until he too met his end on that stage. Lo's ear notch is a nod to their experience, and they were completely right. But as a mother, they didn't even want to take that innocence away from Till, not when his eyes sparked so brightly and pitifully.

In relationships like these in Alien stage, I always see that there is a choice to make between breaking making reality clear or reveling in obliviousness, it happens with Ivan and Sua, Sua and Mizi, Till and Mizi, etc etc. Something has to give and take.

Sua's sister is my favorite example of this kind of exchange, she told Sua bluntly that she would be doomed on that stage as she is now, that she was pitiful, if only to ensure her safety in some twisted, caring way, it effected Sua a lot as a child, living with such deep seated trauma caused Sua to develop an obsession with safety and security based on the fear her sister instilled in her so deeply, to find that warmth in Mizi, Sua was content living in delusion until she had to face it, continuing the cycle.

Lo made the decision to let Till remain oblivious, they, too, found comfort in such childish carefreeness. Like they had hope, they let Till keep singing despite their unease. They cared so deeply about Till enough to prioritize him being himself rather than making him suppress his spirit. The darkness that shadows over Lo's perspective in contrast to the light that makes Till's shines behind Till shows the difference between living in fear--delusion and living freely, oblivious.

The cruelty of their situation was overshadowed by love for a moment, Lo's one wish for their son-- that he would grow up knowing what it's like to love and be loved and chase after the feeling--if only in his heart he would remember how much they tried to show him that love and actively seek it after they're gone, or give it to someone else. They wanted to teach him to be himself through encouraging his love for music.

I don't believe they failed at all. Till was fully aware of how much he meant to his mother, it was so obvious. He loved making them proud, and making them smile and sing with him every time he tried to replicate those 'good cries', Till loved Lo back equally, and as he grew up he never stopped loving.

One thing about Lo's wish was that they hoped Till would never grow up alone. Till's separation from his mother must have had more of an impact on him than we could ever realize from his perspective, even if we never hear about it again, even if he's forgotten about it, suppressed it, it's a trauma that has deeply plagued his subconscious. He lives with that wariness for the rest of his life.

It was Till's fear that stemmed from the pain and regret of losing his mother that caused him to avoid attachments, emotionally suppressing himself, and he keeps his heart behind restrictive chains because he can never let that vulnerability be used against him again, it explains a lot about his relationship with his friends, how he percieves his own relationship with them after going so long not addressing his feelings. He craves connections but fear, and being in the middle of confusion makes him freeze in place and run back to old habits. Jumping to feelings he can easily rationalize, hatred, anger--or avoiding conflict all together.

Even after Lo and Till were separated, Till did not grow up without love, or without the feeling of loving, even though he was alone in his own self-made bubble distanced from his peers, there is a difference between isolation and loneliness, in his case, he remained distant even with his closest friends, or the girl he loved more than anything, as a way to protect himself. But he was never left alone with 4nakt beside him.

When Till can only realize he's loved when he can recognize it and see it for himself, thats what makes the comic being focused on the whole group rather than just Mizi or Ivan interesting, and telling about his character. It drives home the fact that Till was also a little kid who craved connection just like the others, he expects to be left to himself, and his friends seek him out naturally. He valued and loved all of his friends. rather than a specific person like Sua focuses on Mizi and Ivan focuses on Till this shows that everyone who stayed with Till had an importance to him

(Even Sua looks somewhat fond...)

Till grew up knowing what it was like to be cared about and loved it, sought it out, and inherited that touch from his caretaker, What Till gained from his relationship with his mother shows in the way he treats Mizi, Ivan, even Sua. Mizi's kindness and care were a familiarity, something that instantly attracted him to her, it likely reminded him of his mother in a way and he subtly sought out her attention for that very feeling of love and feeling cared for.

With Ivan, he couldn't help caring about him in little ways, it was only natural, if only because it was part of Till's nature to nurture, letting Ivan be himself around him as a parallel to the way his mother encouraged him to be loud about his interests. And Sua, even if they weren't close at all, Sua was an acquaintance to him, hell even the way he treats a little broken flower with just as much compassion shows us how much Lo impacted Till's growth

To the Segyein, Humans are nothing more than a product, to those who disobey, they are punished, to those who comply, living to sing on stage and feed the aliens is their "prize" for living through it all. Their separation was something Lo saw as a their punishment for having their own little rebellion in making music for themselves, loving it, making it into something the aliens couldn't use against them, it was their own little fun, and they could do it freely. It was an inevitable consequence that they could have prevented as Till's caretaker

In the end, Lo probably never lived to see her son grow up, but they prayed for Till's pursuit of happiness. The traces of them, the evidence of their care that they tried to deeply thread into Till's person stayed with him forever, exactly what kind of trace Lo had left on him...they taught him how to love and be loved, they let him love art, they showed him what living freely with no restraints was like, that's the kind of life he fights for even after he's trapped in this system. her impact keeps him kind-hearted and fighting. It keeps him human despite all of the pain he was burdened with as he grows up

And even when his art is his pain, the creation of art and music reminds him of why he lives, what he lives for, it gives him a vague sense of hope even if for a moment, it brings him that same joy he had when he was a child

"Exactly what kind of trace"

The traces you leave behind is what's important to a human, every human is born to die, what matters most is how you live your life, what impact and memory you leave behind, I love Lo's character, even if we have little context around her background, because she knew that fact and wanted nothing more than to leave a meaningful impact on Till, if they were to one day die they wanted to leave him with a trace of them, a message he would never let go of. and that sentiment became deeply intertwined in his being. Till's emotions, his love, makes him the character he is.

The title of the comic expresses this too. "evidence" or "traces"--this comic is evidence of Lo's impact, evidence that Till was loved and knew how to love in return, Till had relationships. His entire existence was the product of love, it's evidence that he was alive and had humanity, that's what makes this comic even more tragic. It's evidence that he was human at all when we can forget that in the midst of the chaos of all of their lives. Innocence where the aliens don't bother to acknowledge. Till isn't a weapon, or a product. And this perspective of him through his mother's eyes reflects that.

The humanity that he holds within himself even after losing family connects him to more people who prove to care for him as deeply as he cares for them. Till was lonely but never alone with the love he had around him, they always come back, the relationships around him that his mother wished he would have so that he would never sink into a lonely abyss, only a boy and his song, and on that wall is a drawing that draws a picture of a life he's always wanted, a real heavenly garden with real trees and a real sky, and the drawing includes the four of them together, because he had always envisioned a life worth living, free, with all of his friends by his side.

The translation is done by @/WhatfaFruit

[genderqueerdykes]

i just wanted to take some time to let americans know that while it's okay to be bummed about the results of the presidential election, the entire reason elections are so publicized and televised like this is to try to keep you wrapped up in this bullshit so you will ignore and forget about reality. yes trump being elected sucks but the entire point of this is to keep your attention off of real issues that are happening in the real world

they WANT you to get sad and defeated whenever a bad candidate wins so that you become complacent. they want you to lose hope and give up and accept what is happening. they want you to get wrapped up in debates and other he-said-she-said nonsense that's all conjecture and spitballing so you'll ignore what's actually happening in the real world. trump can say he wants to do this, and say he wants to do that, but the real world is way more complicated than that. our government sucks but he's going to have to fight with the senate and house just like he did the last time he was elected. he's going to have to fight tooth and nail to try to get his unrealistic plans set into action, and it's not going to be any easier for him this time around than it was last time.

we don't know what will happen until we get there. the best we can do is continue to survive, and thrive, until we see change. all we can do is continue to care for and love each other until we see things in our environment genuinely changing. don't listen to what this man says he wants to do. he wants to scare you and make you think that he's almighty and unstoppable, but he's not. he's a human who is subject to the rules of the government machine he willingly walked into. you can't give up hope right now and abandon your friends and family and assume you should move or die to escape it.

most people's first reaction is to move when the candidate they don't like wins. which is fair, but it's also really important to stick with your friends and family. abandoning the people you love during a hard time will not make it any easier for you or them. sticking together during adversity is what makes it easier to overcome. and if and when it comes down to a revolution, we need your help to set that in motion. we can't start a revolution to make a change if there's no one left to try. we have to stay in order to be the change we want to see. stick by your friends and family. stick together. don't abandon each other- now more than ever we need to stick together.

this wasn't the "most important election of our lifetime." all of the ones before that were framed exactly that way, too. what this IS is the most important time to stick together and stand up for one another. there will never be a more important time like the present to stand together, stick up for each other, defend each other, and to be there for one another. marginalized groups will only get weaker if we abandon each other. we have to stick together to fight like hell for each other.

it's not all doom and gloom. nothing is over. we survived a prior 4 years under this man's presidency and we will survive another 4. it sucked before, and it'll suck again, but we will persist through this. the world will keep turning. the sun will keep rising. please remember that we are stronger together, and that a revolution cannot happen unless there are people to partake in it. if we want to make change, we can't run- we have to stand and face the adversity we wish to overcome.

[ennn]

Unpacking the Deals of Ep 8: Why and What They Mean

So episode 8 is... let's say a bit of a mess. I know there's some confusion around why Agatha proposes her terms for the first deal, why Rio flipped into cackling villain mode, why Rio makes another deal, etc.

Here's my read that hopefully helps draw a line from point A to B to C.

Let's consider the context of the first deal: Agatha's not having a good day. Two coven members who Agatha never expected to care about have died trying to protect her – a thing that has never happened before. And Death happens to be a person she can blame.

Death, who is pressing on that bruise ("Your coven is shrinking") and making her shitty day worse because she wants the kid Agatha is hardcore projecting on (and also didn't plan to care about) to die. Just like Nicky.

But Agatha then realises she has leverage on Rio. For the first time in forever, she has an advantage she can exploit. She can be in control.

And it's almost instinctive for Agatha at this point: finding the best buttons to push, the best terms for her given the opportunity.

Agatha: If I deliver Billy, you let me go. Rio: You will eventually die, Agatha. Agatha: But I want you to stop pursuing me. I want you to stop making my life hell. And when I die, a long, long, long, long, long time from now, I don't want to see your face. Rio: ... Okay.

The terms that Agatha sets out seem cruel because they are. She says what she does because she wants it to hurt. Agatha's not only rejecting Rio's continued presence in her life, she's denying all the love that Rio's given her, building on what she's said before ("You gave me nothing.")

From Rio's POV, Agatha's cutting words aside, this entire deal sucks. Because the options are:

(a) Agatha doesn't hold up her end, which Rio knows might happen: Rio knows Agatha cares about Billy ("I know how you feel about him"). Rio's constantly reminding her he's not Nicky. She was already doubting Agatha would deliver her usual number of corpses. She saw how affected Agatha was after Alice's death.

If Agatha doesn't help, she'd be choosing a boy over everything Rio's done again – and this time another woman's.

And if Rio somehow manages to take Billy anyway, Agatha will end up hating her twice forever.

(b) Agatha does hold up her end, which might also happen: Rio knows Agatha's manipulative and smart and capable. More than that, she's well aware Agatha hates her. That Agatha still doesn't see what she's done for her ("No one in history has had special treatment like you").

That she knows Agatha does care about Billy but maybe hates her so much that she's willing to go through with this to cut her out from her life. Billy would be a dear price but one Agatha's maybe willing to pay.

Even if it was a 50:50 chance for these options, I think Rio realises her relationship with Agatha is doomed either way.

Either way she does her job, with or without Agatha's help, she's going to be rejected and lose. One's just a slower path than the other.

I think that's why Rio gives in to her rage and bitterness and spite. Agatha thinks Rio's been making her life hell? She'll show her hell.

And Agatha, well I think there's some merit to the thinking that she didn't expect Rio to fold that quickly and completely.

Now for the context of the second deal, it's not clear whether Rio knows what happened with Tommy. I assume Rio doesn't – not yet anyway – as she doesn't mention it at all and seems focused on squaring that one life Billy stole.

Now here's where it gets a little squirrely, to borrow Schaeffer's language. Because if you don't look too closely, it seems to make sense: Billy stole a life so to maintain the natural balance, Rio needs to take a life, the one Billy has now.

But how does Agatha's life work as a substitute for this imbalance (“This means you’re coming with me”)? Would any other person’s life work? Could Rio have swapped someone else's life to save Nicky then? Agatha would have been all too happy to arrange for that murder.

I doubt the show is ever going to explain this so I offer few possible theories to deal with this weirdness:

Billy Maximoff is a product of chaos magic, so his existence and everything he affects already throws off the natural order, just to different orders of magnitude. Agatha’s life works as a substitute because his life is now intertwined with hers e.g. his hex probably saved her life from the Salem Seven and has the potential for greater imbalance

Rio is aware of Agatha’s tendency towards chaos and defiance of the natural order. Rio bent the rules of the universe only for Agatha. Taking her life would protect the balance in the larger scheme of things – if only so Rio won’t be further tempted to give her special treatment.

When Rio’s torturing Agatha it’s before she presents the second deal. So she’s still intending to go after Billy, she’s just removing Agatha as an obstacle while lashing out in rage and heartbreak.

In this moment Rio probably thinks Billy's in the wind. She saw how upset Billy was with Agatha at the end of episode 5. And Rio knows the reputation Agatha keeps ("Why do you let them believe those things about you?"), Rio probably thinks Agatha deliberately drove him off to keep him safe.

Then Billy pops up and Rio sees that Billy and Agatha care about each other and they're both aware they care about each other.

Fuckin’ great. Rio's not bitter at all.

Looks like you two are finally on the same page. So I'll let you decide. One of you stays with me. The other walks free.

Agatha proposed a deal designed to hurt her? Now it’s her turn.

From Rio's POV, I think here are the possible outcomes:

(a) Agatha sacrifices herself for Billy: Not impossible I think. Rio knows Agatha cares about the boy but she also knows Agatha will do anything to survive. She thinks she's above death. But again, I think Rio also knows Agatha would have sacrificed herself for Nicky if she had that choice.

What did Lorna want from the Road? To save her daughter.

This isn't an ideal outcome for Rio but she’s already resigned herself to losing Agatha I think, one way or another. This way if Agatha wants Billy to live so badly, this is the price she has to pay. The high cost of living.

(b) Billy steps up and sacrifices himself: Very possible given that Billy’s a young heroic sort and already showed up, risking his life to power up Agatha. Rio gets to do her job. Agatha will probably hate her more given the Nicky trauma but Rio’s already resigned to this on some level already, which is why she's raging.

Either way Agatha's going to hurt, and Rio's going to hurt.

It's interesting that when Billy does volunteer himself and Agatha seizes the opportunity to remind Rio of their earlier deal, Rio just shakes her head and looks amused.

You can also see for a brief moment Agatha looking almost remorseful about doing this before slipping her theatrical villainous mask on, overcompensating for her true feelings.

Do you remember pain? It kinda tickles doesn't it?

By the letter (not the spirit or intent) of the first deal, Agatha did ultimately fulfil her part:

I can arrange that. I can get him to the finish line and deliver him to you.

This is an opportunity that's almost impossible to resist for someone as calculating and ruthless and selfish like Agatha. She has power (chaos magic no less), she can have Rio leave her alone forever (she knows Rio honours her word), she knows Billy cares about her but can she really trust him?

But Agatha ultimately decides to take a risk. A calculated one sure, but still a risk.

I think the beauty in the kiss and her sacrifice is how – despite her calculating the odds – Agatha is choosing to give in to what she feels and wants in that moment.

Because she does want to protect the boy in a way no one did for her when she was young. She wants to save Billy like she couldn't with Nicky. And she does want Rio so much despite everything that's happened.

[idkyetxoxo]

Six | Enchanted | Aemond Targaryen

Word count - 3795

Warnings - None

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A week had passed since that night in the pool, yet the memory of it clung to me like a half-forgotten dream, teasing the edges of my mind. The gardens were far behind me now, replaced by the lively hum of the common room. 

I lay sprawled across Nymor's lap, his fingers absently combing through my hair, while the raucous banter of his friends swirled around us like a familiar, comforting melody. 

Their teasing voices were a pleasant distraction from the thoughts that had been haunting me since the pool—thoughts of Aemond and the dangerous pull he seemed to have on me.

The negotiations between my father and Viserys were progressing, each day pulling me closer to the inevitable. 

The impending marriage loomed over me like a storm cloud, dark and inescapable. 

Everyone around me treated it as a certainty as if it had been written in the stars long before I ever had a say in the matter. 

But deep down, a part of me still fought against it, clinging to the hope that there might be some way out, some path that didn't end with me standing beside Aemond Targaryen, bound to him for life.

And yet, even as I yearned to escape, I couldn't fully banish the memory of him. 

His sharp gaze, the way his touch had set fire to my skin—it haunted me, even as I tried to shake it off. 

There was something about Aemond that intrigued me, something beyond the cold mask of duty and power. I didn't want to admit it, but I couldn't deny the truth any longer—I didn't completely despise him. 

If anything, I was captivated by the man beneath the dragon prince facade.

But then there was the other truth—the one that gnawed at me like an open wound. His family had laid waste to my homeland, without a second thought, without remorse. 

And that was something I could never forget, no matter how tempting the man himself might be.

"What are you thinking about?" Nymor's voice broke through the fog of my thoughts, his fingers prodding my cheek in an attempt to bring me back to the present.

"My doom," I muttered dramatically, swatting his hand away. His friends erupted into laughter, the sound rich and warm, filling the room like the flickering hearth.

"So awfully cynical, princess. Where is that carefree girl we know and love?" Yoren teased, nudging my legs with a grin, his dark eyes gleaming with amusement.

I sat up, crossing my legs as I sighed. "I don't want to leave Dorne," I admitted, the weight of the words settling heavily on my chest. 

Leaving this place—the sun-drenched gardens, the sea breeze that tasted of salt and freedom—felt like losing a part of myself.

"Then don't," Yoren said with a casual shrug, as if it were that simple. His flippancy stung, though I knew he didn't mean it to.

"It's that one-eyed fool, isn't it?" Nymor's voice was tinged with both annoyance and sympathy, his hand resting lightly on my shoulder. 

I rolled my eyes, but the mention of Aemond sent a shiver through me, a mixture of frustration and something I didn't want to name.

"Ah, we've heard the whispers of a union in the making," Maric chimed in with mock seriousness, raising his brows in exaggerated intrigue.

"My father insists upon it," I mumbled, leaning forward to grab Yoren's cup. He jerked it out of reach, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.

"Get your own wine, princess," Yoren teased, his eyes dancing with mischief.

"Marry one of us," Maric suggested with a chuckle, though there was a glimmer of something sincere in his eyes. "Stay in Dorne forever. You'd never have to leave."

The idea was as tempting as it was impossible, and I let out a hollow laugh. 

"If only it were that easy," I said, but even as the words left my lips, I couldn't help but wonder. 

What would my life look like if I stayed? If I let myself forget the weight of duty and allowed myself to indulge in the carefree moments that Dorne offered?

Yoren leaned forward suddenly, his face contorted in an exaggerated pout, making ridiculous kissing noises that sent me into a fit of giggles. 

In the midst of his antics, I seized my chance, swiping his cup of wine with a victorious grin.

"Give it back!" he exclaimed, lunging after me, his fingers closing around my wrists as he loomed over me with a mock stern expression. 

I stuck my tongue out at him in defiance, holding the cup just out of his reach. "Make me," I teased, the playful challenge lighting a spark in my eyes.

Nymor laughed beside me, shaking his head as he playfully slapped Maric's chest. "Looks like you've met your match, Yoren."

The warmth of their laughter, the teasing banter—it was a world away from the heavy tension that followed me like a shadow. 

For a moment, I let myself get lost in it, in the easy companionship of these men who didn't expect anything from me except a shared drink and a laugh. 

I flirted with the thought of staying here forever, of letting these light-hearted moments fill the spaces that Aemond's memory couldn't touch.

But no matter how much I tried to distract myself, I couldn't entirely forget him. 

The memory of his touch, the intensity of his gaze—it was like a flame that flickered at the edge of my mind, refusing to be extinguished. 

Even as Yoren hovered over me, his playful grin inches from mine, I felt the pull of that night in the pool, a lingering thread that tied me to Aemond, whether I wanted it or not.

"Wine," Yoren demanded again, though there was no real force behind his words, just the playful tug-of-war between us.

I grinned up at him, the spark of rebellion still dancing in my eyes. "Come and get it," I challenged, holding the cup just out of reach as he leaned in closer.

"Princess," a voice called from the doorway, and the lively room fell silent as all eyes turned to see the Targaryen siblings standing in the threshold. 

The sudden shift in energy was palpable like the air had been sucked out, leaving a charged stillness behind.

"Are we interrupting?" Aegon drawled, his smirk widening as he took in the scene before him. 

Yoren, still holding my wrists in a playful grip, dropped them immediately, stepping back with a sheepish smile. The light-heartedness evaporated as if snuffed out, leaving only the prickling tension.

"Yes," Nymor responded dryly, his voice laced with amusement, though I could sense the edge beneath it. 

He remained seated, his posture relaxed but his eyes sharp as they flicked between the intruders. 

Yoren and Maric's laughter returned, momentarily dispelling the tension like a wave washing over the room, a weak attempt to restore the lightness that had been so abruptly shattered.

"Your father sent us," Helaena added softly, her voice a contrast to her brother's. 

She was gentler, always was, and there was something kind in her gaze as it lingered on me, as though she understood more than she let on. But it wasn't me she was looking at with that subtle interest—I noticed her gaze flicker toward Nymor. 

Her fascination was evident, and despite the current tension, I couldn't help but wonder how deep her interest ran.

"If you're too busy entertaining others, we can leave," Aemond interjected, his voice sharp, dripping with venom that cut through the air like a blade. 

His words were pointed, but his eye, his gaze—it was all on me. 

There was no mistaking the jealousy simmering beneath his composed exterior, the barely concealed possessiveness that rippled through his voice.

Nymor stiffened beside me, his usual easy-going demeanour darkening as he rose to his full height. 

"Are you insinuating something about my sister?" His voice was low, but it seethed with barely-contained fury, his eyes locked onto Aemond's with a promise of violence. 

The room, which had been buzzing with life only moments ago, now felt like a powder keg ready to explode.

Aegon, sensing the rising tension, looked thoroughly amused by it all, his smirk widening as if he was eager to see where this was going. 

But before things could escalate further, Helaena tugged him by the arm, pulling him back with a roll of her eyes, her patience clearly worn thin.

"We should go," she said firmly, dragging a protesting Aegon along with her. He looked disappointed as if the potential for a brawl had been the highlight of his day, but he allowed himself to be led out. 

Still, his laughter echoed faintly down the corridor as the door swung shut behind them.

Yoren and Maric quickly exchanged glances before quietly standing and shuffling out of the room. They knew better than to stick around for what was coming. 

Now it was just the three of us.

Aemond didn't move. His gaze, as cold and unrelenting as the winter winds, remained fixed on Nymor. 

"Perhaps I am insinuating something," Aemond said, his tone calm but laced with challenge, his body language as unmoving as stone.

In one swift motion, Nymor stepped forward, his fists clenched at his sides, barely containing the storm of anger that radiated off him. 

"You have no right to talk about her," he growled, jabbing a finger hard into Aemond's chest. His voice was low, dangerous—a warning that he was inches away from losing control.

Aemond stood his ground, his expression unreadable, though the glint in his eye gave away his satisfaction at having provoked Nymor. 

It was a power play, and Aemond was revelling in it. The room crackled with unspoken tension, each man daring the other to make the next move.

"You think you can speak about my sister like that and get away with it?" Nymor spat, stepping closer until they were nearly nose to nose. 

His breath came in shallow, angry bursts, and for a moment, I feared the restraint he had would snap.

Aemond tilted his head slightly, a lazy shrug rolling off his shoulders, his expression barely shifting. 

"I speak the truth as I see it," he said coolly. "If you can't handle it, that's your weakness."

Nymor's fist clenched tighter, his knuckles white as his rage spilt over. "The truth?" he repeated, his voice rising with the heat of his anger. 

"You don't know the first thing about her." His words dripped with venom, and I could feel the tide of the moment shifting into something dangerous.

Aemond's jaw tightened at that, the mask of indifference slipping for the briefest second. His voice was a quiet, lethal whisper as he leaned in, a dark smirk playing on his lips. 

"Careful, Nymor. You're speaking to the rider of the largest dragon in the Seven Kingdoms." His words were soft, but the threat beneath them was unmistakable.

In an instant, Nymor's hand shot out, grabbing Aemond by the collar and yanking him forward so their faces were mere inches apart. 

"Say one more word about her," Nymor hissed through clenched teeth, his grip on Aemond's collar unyielding, "and I'll—"

"Enough!" My voice rang out, sharp and commanding, cutting through the tension like a blade. 

Both men froze, their eyes snapping toward me as I stepped forward, my expression a mix of frustration and steely authority. 

"Nymor, let him go." My words held a weight that neither of them could ignore.

For a moment, Nymor hesitated, his grip still tight on Aemond's collar, his eyes burning with a fury that demanded release. But when he met my gaze, something shifted. 

Slowly, reluctantly, he released Aemond, shoving him back with a frustrated grunt.

"You're not helping me by losing control like this," I said, my tone gentler now but still firm. "Leave us. I need to speak to him alone."

Nymor's eyes flicked between me and Aemond, a muscle in his jaw working as though he was about to protest. 

"He doesn't deserve your time, let alone your words," he muttered darkly, but after a tense moment, he relented. 

His hand twitched at his side as if itching to throw another punch, but he stepped away, turning toward the door with one last icy glare at Aemond.

"But if he says one more thing—" Nymor started, his voice taut with barely contained rage.

"I'll handle it," I cut in, my tone softening just enough to calm him. "You know I can."

Nymor lingered a moment longer, his fists still clenched, before giving a terse nod. He cast one final look at Aemond, filled with simmering fury, before storming out of the room. 

The door slammed shut behind him, the sound echoing through the now-silent room.

For a long moment, silence hung between us, thick with unspoken words and unresolved tension. 

Aemond's smirk returned, but there was a flicker of uncertainty in his eye as if he was weighing the moment carefully.

"You didn't need to send him away on my account," he said, his voice low and drawling, though the amusement in his tone didn't quite reach his eyes. "I can handle Nymor."

I stepped closer, my face impassive, carefully concealing the turmoil roiling within me. "This isn't about you 'handling' anyone," I said evenly, keeping my voice steady, controlled. "It's about knowing when to stop."

His smirk faltered. "Is that what you think? That I don't know when to stop?"

I met his gaze, holding it with unwavering strength. "You're pushing him because you want a reaction. But we both know this isn't about Nymor." 

My voice softened, but there was still a sharp edge beneath the words. "So tell me, Aemond—what is it you really want?"

For the briefest moment, his expression shifted, and I saw the cracks in the carefully constructed façade he always wore. 

The arrogance he wore like armour seemed to drain away, leaving something raw and vulnerable in its place. His jaw tightened, but the biting retort I expected never came. I

Instead, he hesitated, searching my face as though the answer might be written there.

"I want you," he finally whispered, his voice strained like the admission had cost him something. 

The air between us felt impossibly heavy as the words settled like a stone in my chest. He took a step closer, and I could feel the weight of his confession pressing against my resolve.

I stayed silent, letting the moment stretch, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing how his words affected me. 

But when his hand lifted to cup my face, his touch was gentle, almost reverent, and it sent a shiver down my spine despite my best efforts to remain composed.

"You are unlike anyone I've ever met," he murmured, his voice intense, each word deliberate. "Fierce, determined... utterly captivating." 

His gaze held mine, and for the first time, I saw something genuine in his eyes, something that unsettled me more than his usual cold confidence. "I cannot imagine my life with anyone but you. You've become part of me, consumed my thoughts, my every moment."

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to keep breathing, to keep standing. His words were heavy, laden with meaning, with the kind of vulnerability I had never expected from him. 

For a moment, I almost faltered—almost let myself believe in the possibility he was offering. But I knew better than to surrender so easily.

Slowly, I reached up, my hand wrapping around his wrist, and I gently pulled his hand away from my face. 

"Aemond," I began, my voice steady but tinged with something darker, something deeper. "How am I supposed to forget who you are? How do I ignore the history between our families, the blood that stains your name?"

His eyes widened, clearly taken aback by my words. This was a part of me I had never revealed to him, a truth I had buried deep but could no longer keep hidden. 

I had been raised with the stories of what his family had done, the destruction they had brought upon my people, my home.

He stared at me, the shock plain on his face. It was as if he hadn't expected me to hold onto the past, to care about it in the face of his feelings. But how could I not?

"I don't want to conquer anything but your heart," he said softly, stepping closer again, his voice almost pleading now. "I don't care about power or politics when it comes to us. I just want you. That night we spent in the gardens..." 

His voice trailed off, the memory lingering between us like a ghost. "It's all I've thought about since. I don't want it to be the last."

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to steady the storm raging inside me. 

His sincerity was undeniable, and I could feel the weight of his words pulling me in, making it harder to keep the distance I so desperately needed.

"Our fathers are already discussing the match," I said quietly, forcing myself to focus on the practicalities, on the things that kept me grounded in reality. "The alliances they hope to build through us—"

"Your father won't force it," Aemond interrupted, his voice urgent. "Not if you don't want it." 

His tone softened, and for the first time, there was a vulnerability there, a rawness that caught me off guard. "But say yes. Say you'll choose me."

I turned away, unable to look at him. The weight of what he was asking felt like it might crush me. 

"If I say yes, I have to give up everything," I whispered, my voice barely holding steady. "My home, my family, everything I know. I would have to leave my father, my brother, my people... for a life in a city that will never truly be mine."

He exhaled slowly, the realization sinking in. I felt him move closer, his voice dropping to a near whisper. "But you would have me. We could build something—something that's ours."

I turned back to face him, my gaze locking onto his. 

"At what cost, Aemond?" My voice was quiet, but the question rang out like a challenge. "Do you really believe love can erase everything that stands between us? Can it undo the scars of history, the blood spilt by your ancestors?"

Aemond's eye searched mine, and for a moment, the world around us seemed to still. 

It felt like the weight of every decision we would ever make hung in the balance, suspended in the thick air between us.

"I need time," I finally said, the words escaping before I could stop them. His expression shifted, the hope in his eyes dimming, but he didn't interrupt. "This is too much, Aemond. You may be certain of what you want, but I..."

I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. I didn't have the luxury of being as sure as he was, and the stakes were far higher for me. "I need time," I repeated, my voice firm but quieter.

The silence that followed was thick, suffocating. Aemond's jaw clenched, his frustration evident, but he didn't push. He just stood there, watching me, waiting for something I wasn't ready to give.

"I can't stay here," I whispered, turning toward the door, feeling the pull of escape. 

My heart pounded in my chest, torn between the desire to stay and the need to flee, to buy myself more time.

Aemond took a step forward, his hand reaching out as if to stop me. "You don't have to leave," he said, his voice softer now, almost pleading. "We can figure this out."

I forced a weak smile, meeting his gaze one last time. "I can't. Not right now."

He nodded slowly, the flicker of hope in his eyes dimming to a quiet resignation. "I'll wait," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'll wait as long as it takes."

I hesitated at the door, my hand hovering over the handle. 

Part of me wanted to turn back, to offer him something—anything—that might ease the tension between us. But the weight of history, of what he was asking, was too much to bear.

"I'll think about it," I said, my voice steady again. "But I can't make any promises."

With that, I slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind me. The second I was alone in the hallway, I released a shaky breath, the tension that had been building inside me finally breaking free. 

My heart was racing, my thoughts a whirlwind of emotions I couldn't quite untangle.

I walked quickly, the echo of my footsteps the only sound in the silent corridor. The farther I got from Aemond, the more the reality of what had just happened sank in. 

He had laid everything bare, but I couldn't forget what stood between us—our families, our histories, the sacrifices I would have to make.

When I reached the courtyard, I stopped, letting the cool night air wash over me, soothing the storm inside. I looked up at the stars, wondering how I had ended up here, torn between what I wanted and what I knew.

Could I really give up everything for him? Could I trust him, trust us, enough to believe that love could conquer the scars of the past? I didn't know.

All I knew was that I needed time. Time to think, to weigh the future that Aemond was offering against the life I had always known.

The air bit at my skin and my thoughts drifted to Alaric. The ease, the simplicity of being with him was tempting—a familiar escape from the whirlwind that Aemond stirred inside me. 

With Alaric, everything had always been so... uncomplicated. No deep questions. No heavy expectations. 

Just the physical release that dulled the ache, numbed the confusion. I knew if I went to him now, he wouldn't ask why. He wouldn't ask for anything at all.

For a fleeting moment, I considered it. The thought of his hands, the distraction, the way he could make me forget for just a little while. 

It would be so easy to lose myself in him again, to drown out the impossible choice looming over me. But then, a sharp pang twisted in my chest, and I stopped in my tracks. 

What would that solve? A night of pretending, of running, wouldn't change the fact that my heart was caught somewhere else—caught between the impossible pull of Aemond and the weight of everything I was supposed to be. 

Alaric might help me forget for a night, but the reality of my choices would still be waiting for me in the morning.

I sighed the decision settling over me like a heavy cloak. I couldn't hide from this, no matter how much I wanted to. 

With one last glance at the stars, I turned away from the direction of Alaric's chambers and instead headed back toward the shadows, alone with my thoughts, and the uncertainty that lingered like a storm on the horizon.

There was no running from this—not anymore.

A/n - Not as slow as I would like but we are nearing the end and I need their relationship to pick up a bit x

Enchanted tag list - @mamawiggers1980 @shilphy87 @esposadomd @targaryendestiel @deepeststarlightmoon

@thebirdandthebee @queen-of-elves @believeinthefireflies95

[radfemsiren]

Remembering my Afghani American best friend from my islamic elementary and middle school whose dad would get drunk every night and beat the shit out of her mother. She begged and begged for sleepovers because strangers in the house would make him leave, and I never told my parents about the situation (I lied and said she had no father or brothers) because I loved spending time at her house and staying up the whole night doing all the things we weren’t allowed to do that was “haram”… watching rated r movies, playing horror computer games, dancing to music videos on YouTube, cat walking in heels and makeup, scaring ourselves with creepypastas.

I remember we had a million stupid ass discussions about who the purple guy from five nights at Freddies was, or what a slenderman proxy meant, or if there were illuminati signs in Katy Perry music videos, or if emo drawings of Jeff the killer were hot. We’d whisper fight if Beyoncé or Lana del Rey was a better singer, or if teen wolf or maze runner had cuter boys. She was team Beyoncé and teen wolf.

We had to constantly be separated in school for talking, and we hated the creepy janitor and would throw wads of wet paper towel on the bathroom ceiling for him to clean up later. We got into so much trouble together, and would always smirk at each other in detention when we got yelled at. We’d shoplift lipsticks from the mall, and throw away expensive Quran transliterations from school, and sneak into the teachers break room and steal handfuls of ice and throw them on the imam/principal’s desk when he was gone to ruin his paperwork.

I moved away like I always had to do with my constantly migrating family and we lost touch. The last time I saw her in person was when we were still kids at her brothers wedding. I was laughing while I tried to ask her why the bride kept changing into different brightly colored dresses throughout the night. She wasn’t listening, and she burst into tears and cried about how her brother was just like her father and did every horrible thing he did. I held her and squeezed her so tight I thought her bones would break.

I recently tried to reconnect with her again but she’s already married, pregnant, and has abandoned social media and texting because it’s “haram.” Trying to talk to her was like speaking to a stranger… she had no interest in any of the things we would spend hours playing with before. “Islam is important to me now, I’m a new woman. We were messed up kids, it’s time to grow up.” She told me to never contact her again and hung up the phone.

Sometimes I feel like I failed her, and sometimes I understand that I was a girl trying to survive too.

One day I’ll save money to travel back there and talk to her in person. I’ll snap her out of it. We’ll spend all night up together again doing every terrible thing our teachers and parents and religious leaders warned us against, and laughing the whole way through it. We’ll get kicked out of bars and get into trouble and snicker our way through it all, knowing we’ve already won. I still have her dirty, worn, my littlest pet shop horse she gave me when we first met. I hold it in my hands when I see news of the what’s happening to the women of Afghanistan, and I feel like I’ve failed her again. That I’ll forever be stuck an immature child and her a miserable adult, both of us doomed, unable to be saved from our fates in the end.

[zekeyboy]

I love apprentice adam as much as the next guy. Probably more than the next guy to be honest considering i want him to be alive so badly. HOWEVER. Let’s be real. Apprentice adam is so unlikely to exist for many many reasons.

Adam is not like Lawrence ideology-wise. Lawrence is an upper class white guy who like. he views his life to be ruined by these scum. these people lesser than him (ex. adam, for stalking him & photographing him, tapp, for going off the edge, so on and so forth) and its expanded on when we see the deleted scene from saw 7 where kramer talks to gordon about how like the bottom rung of society will always pull the good men down with them or whatever. like the fact that there was one trap where kramer puts a homeless man in the glass coffin and he has to like. eat shards of glass that got cut. really hammers in how kramer really views people - and in turn, the ideologies he pushes onto Lawrence. Adam is a highschool drop-out who’s, presumably, very involved in punk culture. He was originally supposed to have a huge photo of a Cuban revolutionary on the wall of his apartment. He’s probably never had a real job. In the original script, he’s very open about hating cops. He is the complete opposite of “Important White Male” Lawrence Gordon - and the perfect counter to Lawrence’s game (because, let’s be real - it was always Lawrence centric. I will come back to this later.)

Adam has always been considered the lower level of society. A “bottom-feeder.” He’s a drop-out, his line of work is very illegal, and - judging from the Scott Tibbs documentary, he’s been in that kind of crowd for a while and has forced himself to adapt to it. Trying to keep my personal view of Adam out of this analysis, he’s definitely spent a lot of time around the kind of people that kramer views as scum. He’s also, unsurprisingly, very sweet at his core. Look at how he talks to Amanda in the deleted SAW III scene, how he jokes around with those ladies. He’s like. A nice guy. Scott Tibbs even says so. Lawrence, however, isn’t the kindest. He might put on a face of nice, good guy, but he’s.. What people might expect Adam to be at their core.

Lawrence had his life together, and was dragged down by a bad decision. Adam has a different view and perspective on the world than Lawrence does. he was never at the top and pulled down. he’s been at the bottom and he works with what he has and i really like. i dont think that surviving his trap would change his perspective. i don’t think he would suddenly realize why kramer does what he does. It really wouldn’t help him. However, even if he was going to change his view of the world…

John Kramer does NOT like that guy. Like it’s very clear how biased he is here. Adam’s tape doesn’t even have rules. He doesn’t have a goal. He’s simply told that he might die, that he’s pathetic, and that he needs to ‘do something about it.’ He isn’t given rules, he isn’t given a consequence, he’s given such vague instructions. Lawrence, however, gets clear rules. Kill Adam by 6, or you and your family die.

The kicker, to me, is the fact that Lawrence fails his test. He doesn’t kill Adam by 6. He fails his test. Adam, however, is still alive at 6 - which would imply that he won. Now, I understand that the key was in the tub and that’s how he was supposed to get out. But even without that aspect of it going down the drain and him being doomed from the start, Kramer has a clear biased perspective on the two of them.

Lawrence failed, and is going to die. Adam didn’t fail - it was a design flaw, if anything, and he’s paying for it. Why does John save Lawrence, but not Adam?

It’s not Adam’s test, is the reason. It’s very focused on Lawrence. Anybody could’ve been in Adam’s place - he just had the bad luck of being selected as the photographer by Tapp. Adam was only used as a tool to counteract Lawrence - similar to the janitor in Saw VI for Easton. Adam was never intended to survive, but more to be used as a tool to teach.

Kramer, also, isn’t very fond of impoverished people. Amanda is a special case - but she’s almost more of a trophy if anything. If I got into John and Amanda’s relationship it’d have to be a completely new post, but he’s the kind of person who thinks that you just have to pick yourself up by the bootstraps i think. The fact that he, as I mentioned before, has a deleted trap where he puts a homeless person in the original glass coffin…. Is enough for me to figure out how he really views people below him.

I could probably go on. I probably will go on in my head. I’m very bad at organizing my thoughts. I hope this was comprehensive. I did my best to not accidentally mix in my own personal Adam thoughts that aren’t canon to the films (i have a lot.)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Boyfriend Era is a Go

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

NOV 2024 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - I have to say it, the heist stuff is stupid and all the sidekicks are idiots to the point of annoyance. But Yin and War are truly stellar at these parts. And in general in these roles. Can’t knock 'em. It’s been a year of some very good kisses and this has to have been the best. So this show is top of the standings this week for that kiss alone. Like srs boys? I mean to say, BOYS! How dare. Breaking the internet like that.

Honestly, let's be clear, these two have had killer chemistry since the En of Love and we all expected great things. And now, here we sit, suffering great things from these kings. Thank you, Sirs, may we have another?

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 8 of 15 - I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. The Per Win story arc never interested me in 2014 and I’m not enjoying it now either. But Mick and Ohm are better in 2024. Nong Mick is a standout character, and a brilliant glow up in this version and he’s a confident little shit (affectionate). The mains are good too, but Phun and Noh always were great characters, and these actors are quite good. Possibly better than the original. 

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 10 of 12 - More bf era delightful diabetes. They are the best boyfriends and the cutest family in the entire world. No exceptions. Next week is definitely doom tho. 

Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - Talk about making consent and communication sexy! *fans self* Whoah! That was unexpectedly great. The blatancy of the lust in this one was fun too. And the general casual switch nature of the relationship = delightful.

I like the little acting course we're getting from these tw. They are both quite good. I’m not sure I really enjoy the stories that they’re telling, but I do like how they are telling them.

Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 6 of 16 - Hill is the premier torch carrier of this year. My goodness. He sure nursed that crush. While I really like this main couple, I’m happy to have some of the others start to creep into the narrative at this juncture. Alone HillTer are a bit intentionally miscommunicative and saccharine. But the screen-time distribution amongst couples seems a little strange. That said, couple 2? No thank you. I really don't like North as a character at all. I find him incredibly unappealing. Ordinarily I'd be on his side because....... blackmail trope renders Johan automatically a complete arse. But at least this is 2 unlikable characters being jerks to each other?

Perfect 10 Liners (Thai Sun YouTube?) ep 2 of 24 - Say it with me Thailand: negging is NOT romantic. Frankly, Arc is just an asshole and a bully with anger issues. But…… Yay cute sides! PondSand they funny. (Book, to me = never very funny. I don’t think comedy is his bailiwick. Look, comedy is HARD ya’ll and usually not in that way.) 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 1 of 11 - They’re doing some interesting stuff with the framing (both filming style and narrative) that makes this extremely old-fashioned feeling (like Takumi-kun level). I keep saying that this year, but it feels like BL is doing a lot of rediscovering its roots right now. This one even had a goldfish. And abuse. (The two, oddly, often go hand-in-hand in JBL ) And overall...... it’s a bit weird. Which I don’t mind from Japan. Japanese BL can get weird in a good way. Oh I like it. Bully meats smart loaner, total opposites attract, both are lonely and broken and NEED each other, and all that.

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 13 - Oh dear, our poor little rich boy is very broken indeed. The sides are utterly ridiculous.

My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) eps 6 of 7 - I don’t normally like a love triangle, but I kind of like this one since it gave our uke a bit more depth and agency. And charm, quite frankly. So far he’s been a very dower character.

Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 9-10 of 12 - Okay boyfriend era is a go. Goodness but they sure are adorable. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 7 of ? - The slow burn is really very slow. To the point of frustration. But I'm still enjoying the show, just not as much as I was.

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 8 of 10 eps - Even Japan is going through a bf era rn I see. How unusual.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - I’m slightly less annoyed by this one than the original (but I was VERY annoyed by that). I think mame is being tempered by a few things:

There’s so much less time spent on the back-and-forth, because this is a much shorter show, so I have less time to be frustrated by it and the utter uselessness of 75% of these characters.

Also, there's that innate Japanese awkwardness of portrayal & social interaction, which makes the unpleasantness of the characters' behavior and touch more understandable.

This, in turn, is married to the natural kink factor of JBL.

There’s a clearer Dom sub from the get go with this version, makes the blackmailing a little bit more tolerable because it's clearly Play. (negotiated or not) Simply put, daddy wants his brat to beg. And honestly? So say we all.

On a completely different note, the wardrobe for this show is terrible. Like truly bad BAD.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun iQIYI) eps 3-4 - Well I guess that’s that disability dealt with. Meanwhile, competitive bullying art students? I am very amused. Zoo date was cute. This is unquestionably a BL (I’m even more scared now). Still, the gay boys dealing with the straight dude’s crush was truly hilarious. So much "our gay drama doesn’t have time for your het bullshit." Classy move, I smell some Taiwan in this show.

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 4-8 end - I was reliably informed this has an HFN end so I decided to watch. Noble and self sacrificing with both of them taking the blame.

My thoughts are...... mixed.

High school student Do Hoe lives with his brutal father who runs a Taekwondo gym. When cheerful Ju Young arrives to train, they fall in love. An unexpected incident forces them apart, they reunite over a decade years later. Essentially this is a brilliant narrative about finding love at the worst possible time, surviving chronic abuse, and the way we process mental, emotional, and physical trauma overtime. Yes it’s also a romance, but that’s not primarily what this story is actually about. I can recognize its genius, but this type of narrative is not for me. I’m reminded of bittersweet painful shows like To My Star 2, or The On1y One, or even Not Me. Is this BL tangential or is it some other genre entirely? Am I questioning my own taste because I did not like its content, or because I do not like its genre? And if it’s not BL should I even render judgment? I think I have to lean into the way I approached some of those other shows, which is to say: it is not for me but I recognize that it is of an extremely high-quality that is certainly for someone else.

Recommended, but only if you like masochistic cinema. Under those circumstances 9/10

(but know that if i were rating for my personal taste? 7/10 I’m never re-watching this, and there is a small part of me that wishes I never had) 

It's airing but......

Love for Loves Sake got some kind of special supposed to air 11/9. Not sure what, why, or where. Only the rumor that it...... is. I'll believe it when I see it...... literally.

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) 10 eps - I've been reliably told not to bother, so I won't.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, I couldn't make it. I am weak. Life is hard enough right now, this show is making it harder. It’s not what I want from my entertainment.

Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YouTube) 10 eps - This is a little too low production value even for me. And just very very odd. DNF

In case you missed it

Uncle Unknown finished its run on YT. Censored Chinese BL with paralytically bad production levels. But certainly BL. Boys reunite after a break up only to discover one of them is the step-Uncle of the other. Much to my own shock and surprise I watched all 12 episodes of this. Fortunately, each episode is about 5 minutes long. Under those circumstances is it worth it? Maybe. It’s bad. But not offensive. So that's a win. And you know me, I love a weird take on the stepbrother’s trope and incest taboos. 5/20 watch it only if you have nothing better to do

Next Week Looks Like This:

Gosh there's a lot on right now.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

November BL:

11/15 Caged Again (Thai Fri Gaga) 10 eps - Penguin escapes zoo by turning into a human. Gets trapped again and a panther falls in love with him.

11/17 Your Sky (Thai Sun iQIYI) 12 eps - A naive freshman and the campus’s popular senior agree to pretend to be a couple - but their fake deal begins to generate real feelings.

11/20 Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai Weds YT) ?? eps - Criminals who meet in prison fall in love

11/20 The Heart Killers (Thai Weds YT iQIYI) 12 eps - Jojo directs FirstKhao & JoongDunk in an action romcom about assassin brothers (Khao & Joong) who meet a tattoo artist ex-booster (First) and a mechanic (Dunk). I'm highly amused that Joong plays the older brother to Khao and that we have a take on the Taming of the ShrewBL. I like that everyone is morally gray. This has all GMMTV's best chemistry in one BL and some fresh concepts that I've only seen tackled in m/m romance novels (check out Amy Lane's Racing for the Sun, thank me later). I'm excited. My only quibble is Jojo, I like his style but his characters can get unreliably messy so…... this gonna be interesting.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

The insane level of his babygirl heart eyes.

Just, have mercy.

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[mo-the-gremlin-dandelion]

While I do like the Crocodad theory of Luffy's other parent, I just read a fanfic about Donquixote Rosinante (Corazon) being Luffy's other parent. And while it was a bittersweet fanfic, I find the idea of Corazon and Dragon being a couple quite funny.

Like I don't have an otp in anything, I follow ships based on two things:

How much comedic potential it has.

How tragic it can be.

Point 1:

Imagine Sengoku's reaction. Your annoying (begrudgingly friend) co-worker's son, who is the most wanted person in the world for being a revolutionary, gets together with your adopted son. They have a child that causes SO much trouble for you. AND your now in-laws with said annoying (begrudgingly friend) co-worker and co-worker's most wanted (not in a good way) son.

Also, the Straw Hats reaction to Garp being Luffy's grandpa? What if his other grandpa was the Fleet Admiral of the Marines?

Law not being able to escape the alliance because Luffy is his kind of brother.

Corazon survives being shot because they don't go the marines, they go to the revolutionaries instead? Dragon himself picks them up? Or Corazon still gets shot and then the revolutionaries pick him up? Or he still dies and it's just Law that gets found? Ace, Sabo, Luffy, and Law (possibly Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin as well) all growing up together perhaps?

When the Straw Hats meet Law and the Heart Pirates, Luffy is like: "That's my other brother! :D" Meanwhile the Straw Hats are freaking out.

Doflamingo getting kicked around by Luffy and losing everything made even funnier due to him being his nephew.

Also, Luffy not only being a D but also partially Celestial Dragon.

Point 2:

Doomed relationship from the start/star-crossed lovers.

Dragon is the one who is pregnant and Corazon dies not knowing about Luffy. Aka kind of like the fanfic I read that started this whole train of thought. It's called "I can't be with you (I want to be with you)" by Torens on AO3.

Or they were planning on raising Luffy together, but then Corazon died and so then Dragon left him with Garp. Maybe due to:

Grief

Feeling like he can't protect Luffy (canon).

Luffy has so much of Corazon in him that it hurts to look at him like it hurts to look at the sun for too long. (Aka play into the grief factor real hard.)

Luffy reminds Law of Corazon not just because he acts kind of like him but also due to having the same smile/looking like him.

I know Luffy probably wouldn't care, but imagine Law telling Luffy of his other dad that he never got to meet.

-

If anyone wants to take these ideas and write/expand go right ahead. I can't write and there's only three fanfics on AO3.

Also, I can't decide on what to label Corazon x Dragon. If you have another idea, put it in the tags and I can run another poll or something.

[a-mel0n]

Having “slept” (slept for 2 hour intervals the entire night because this episode made me feverish and gave me a constant urge to vomit) on it, I can firmly say that this is one of the stupidest fucking decisions 9-1-1 has ever made. This is on par with Hen spending a whole season studying to be a doctor only to drop it right at the finish line and The Lucy Kiss.

At the very least, you knew — you had a gut feeling — that they wouldn’t give up on Paramedic!Hen. You knew in your soul that Buck and Taylor were already doomed and the Lucy Kiss just broke the camel’s back.

But this?

Buck and Tommy were good. They were on track to say their “I love you”’s and have actually new storylines. During the breakup scene, at no point during or before the actual breakup did I think a breakup was even a possibility. While I was texting a friend during the episode, I said the following, which I think sums up most of our thoughts:

They had a whole new character set up, that had interesting dynamics with the existing cast and insecurities that could be proven wrong, especially by Buck. What was the point of bringing up Tommy’s “lack” of daddy issues? What was the point of the group chat scene and his yearning for a family if you’re not going to commit to it? Instead, they finally made Tommy a plot device, and they did it by putting out a scene that’s the equivalent of shooting someone with a sniper rifle from five miles away.

The worst part is: This breakup is fucking out of character. I’m aware that… certain people thought Tommy and Eddie were out of character last episode, but this is what an out of character interaction looks like.

Tommy, since being reintroduced, has been established as a fantastic communicator. The only reason he and Buck ever got together in the first place was because Tommy came to Buck’s loft to clear the air in 7x04. He makes it clear during the coffee date why he ended their first date. He’s the one who initiates the dinner conversation in 7x10 and gets Buck to open up about his fears of losing Bobby.

So. Why in the EVER LOVING FUCK was he silent about seeing their relationship as a short term one? Completely ignoring the Henren deleted scene where he says he’s going at Buck’s pace, that scene is now firmly non-canon, Season 7 Tommy would have NEVER led Buck on like that. Hell, 8x01 and 8x05 Tommy would have never led Buck on like that.

The Tommy shown in the final… what, seven minutes of 8x06? Wouldn’t have accepted Buck’s invitation to Madney’s wedding. His job was done! He got Buck to “discover his sexuality.”

This entire episode felt like a slap in the face to the people who are invested in this relationship, it feels like a slap in the face to Lou, who was excited about Tommy and this storyline, it feels like a slap in the face to the general audience, because there were no obvious indications that a breakup was ANYWHERE near Bucktommy’s future.

I very sincerely hope that this is either a temporary break up, or the reaction from the GA and fandom gives the team input that they massively fucked up here and they pivot the storyline over the course of the midseason break.

As for me? I don’t think I’ll be watching the series live anymore. I might catch up on the series once it goes on it’s midseason break, but right now? I just… I can’t. I can’t put any more energy into a show that clearly doesn’t care about progressing their character. (Seriously, what the fuck, Oliver?)

This week has been awful from start to finish.

[ai-manre]

Hang on king, a true warrior queen is coming

The strength he admires:

Val stood on the platform as still as if she had been carved of salt. She will not weep nor look away. Jon wondered what Ygritte would have done in her place. The women are the strong ones. - Jon III ADWD

Drogon roared. The sound filled the pit. A furnace wind engulfed her. The dragon's long scaled neck stretched toward her. When his mouth opened, she could see bits of broken bone and charred flesh between his black teeth. His eyes were molten. I am looking into hell, but I dare not look away. She had never been so certain of anything. - Dany IX ADWD

The shared loneliness:

Even with Ygritte sleeping beside him, he felt alone. - Jon V ASOS

She sat up with her hair disheveled and the bedclothes atangle. Her captain slept beside her, yet she was alone. - Dany VII ADWD

Lonely lovely lethal:

All the same, the wildling princess was not beloved of her gaolers. She scorned them all as "kneelers," and had thrice attempted to escape. When one man-at-arms grew careless in her presence she had snatched his dagger from its sheath and stabbed him in the neck. Another inch to the left and he might have died. Lonely and lovely and lethal, Jon Snow reflected, and I might have had her. - Jon III ADWD

Xaro took another bite, chewed, swallowed. "Daenerys, sweet queen, I cannot tell you what pleasure it gives me to bask once more in your presence. A child departed Qarth, as lost as she was lovely. I feared she was sailing to her doom, yet now I find her here enthroned, mistress of an ancient city, surrounded by a mighty host that she raised up out of dreams." - Dany III ADWD

Silver hair:

Beyond, the haunted forest waited, dark and silent. The light of the half-moon turned Val's honey-blond hair a pale silver and left her cheeks as white as snow. She took a deep breath. "The air tastes sweet." - Jon VIII ADWD

Dany's skin was flushed and pink when she climbed from the tub. Jhiqui laid her down to oil her body and scrape the dirt from her pores. Afterward Irri sprinkled her with spiceflower and cinnamon. While Doreah brushed her hair until it shone like spun silver, she thought about the moon, and eggs, and dragons. - Dany III AGOT

Wish for a dragon/wish for a rider:

We should have twenty trebuchets, not two, and they should be mounted on sledges and turntables so we could move them. It was a futile thought. He might as well wish for another thousand men, and maybe a dragon or three. - Jon VIII ASOS

The dragon has three heads. There are two men in the world who I can trust, if I can find them. I will not be alone then. We will be three against the world, like Aegon and his sisters. - Dany VI ASOS

Wishing for a dragon/wishing for someone to love a dragon:

"The Lysene pirate? Some say he has returned to his old haunts, this is so. And Lord Redwyne's war fleet creeps through the Broken Arm as well. On its way home, no doubt. But these men and their ships are well-known to us. No, these other sails … from farther east, perhaps … one hears queer talk of dragons."

Jon: "Would that we had one here. A dragon might warm things up a bit." - Jon IX ADWD

She was the blood of the dragon. She could kill the Sons of the Harpy, and the sons of the sons, and the sons of the sons of the sons. But a dragon could not feed a hungry child nor help a dying woman's pain. And who would ever dare to love a dragon? - Dany II ADWD

Shared prayers

Gods of the wood, grant me the strength to do the same, Jon Snow prayed silently. Give me the wisdom to know what must be done and the courage to do it. - Jon VII ADWD

Gods, she prayed, you took Khal Drogo, who was my sun-and-stars. You took our valiant son before he drew a breath. You have had your blood of me. Help me now, I pray you. Give me the wisdom to see the path ahead and the strength to do what I must to keep my children safe. - Dany V ADWD

Winter rose/flowers instead of violence:

If I could show her Winterfell . . . give her a flower from the glass gardens [...]

Ygritte: "Then I'd push him in a stream or throw a bucket o' water on him. Anyhow, men shouldn't smell sweet like flowers."

Jon: "What's wrong with flowers?" - Jon V ASOS

A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness. . . . mother of dragons, bride of fire . . . - Dany IV ADWD

"No heads," Dany insisted. "Once you brought me flowers." - Dany VII ADWD

Ruler of ruins:

He stalked across the yard, into the teeth of that wind. His cloak flapped loudly from his shoulders. Ghost came after. Where am I going? What am I doing? Castle Black was still and silent, its halls and towers dark. My seat, Jon Snow reflected. My hall, my home, my command. A ruin. - Jon VI ADWD

I am queen over a city built on dust and death. - Dany I ADWD

Turned off by their crushes due to violence against innocent:

"North of the Wall it is. Hemlock is a sure cure, but a pillow or a blade will work as well. If I had given birth to that poor child, I would have given her the gift of mercy long ago." This was a Val that Jon had never seen before. "Princess Shireen is the queen's only child." - Jon XI ADWD

Daario: "Better the butcher than the meat. All kings are butchers. Are queens so different?"

Dany: "This queen is." - Dany IV ADWD

Compassion and desire to save an entire people:

"Thousands of enemies. Thousands of wildlings."

Thousands of people, Jon thought. Men, women, children. Anger rose inside him, but when he spoke his voice was quiet and cold. - Jon VIII ADWD

"When Aegon the Dragon stepped ashore in Westeros, the kings of Vale and Rock and Reach did not rush to hand him their crowns. If you mean to sit his Iron Throne, you must win it as he did, with steel and dragonfire. And that will mean blood on your hands before the thing is done."

Blood and fire, thought Dany. The words of House Targaryen. She had known them all her life. "The blood of my enemies I will shed gladly. The blood of innocents is another matter. Eight thousand Unsullied they would offer me. Eight thousand dead babes. Eight thousand strangled dogs." - Dany II ASOS

Warrior princess:

Val looked the part and rode as if she had been born on horseback. A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her. - Jon XI ADWD

Dany mounted her silver. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest. She felt desperately afraid. Was this what my brother would have done? She wondered if Prince Rhaegar had been this anxious when he saw the Usurper's host formed up across the Trident with all their banners floating on the wind. She stood in her stirrups and raised the harpy's fingers above her head for all the Unsullied to see. "IT IS DONE!" she cried at the top of her lungs. "YOU ARE MINE!" She gave the mare her heels and galloped along the first rank, holding the fingers high. "YOU ARE THE DRAGON'S NOW! YOU'RE BOUGHT AND PAID FOR! IT IS DONE! IT IS DONE!" - Dany III ASOS

No one was calling her Daenerys the Conqueror yet, but perhaps they would. Aegon the Conqueror had won Westeros with three dragons, but she had taken Meereen with sewer rats and a wooden cock, in less than a day. - Dany VI ADWD

A coppersmith had fashioned her a suit of burnished rings to wear to war. She accepted it with fulsome thanks; it was lovely to behold, and all that burnished copper would flash prettily in the sun, though if actual battle threatened, she would sooner be clad in steel. Even a young girl who knew nothing of the ways of war knew that. - Dany I ADWD

Ten years ago I would have sensed what Daenerys meant to do. Ten years ago I would have been quick enough to stop her. Instead he had stood befuddled as she leapt into the pit, shouting her name, then running uselessly after her across the scarlet sands. - The Queensguard ADWD

Wildling/no southron lady:

"And yes, I will take your women too. I have no need of blushing maidens looking to be protected, but I will take as many spearwives as will come." - Jon V ADWD

The carcass was too heavy for him to bear back to his lair, so Drogon consumed his kill there, tearing at the charred flesh as the grasses burned around them, the air thick with drifting smoke and the smell of burnt horsehair. Dany, starved, slid off his back and ate with him, ripping chunks of smoking meat from the dead horse with bare, burned hands. In Meereen I was a queen in silk, nibbling on stuffed dates and honeyed lamb, she remembered. What would my noble husband think if he could see me now? Hizdahr would be horrified, no doubt. But Daario … Daario would laugh, carve off a hunk of horsemeat with his arakh, and squat down to eat beside her. - Dany XI ADWD

Shared pet plays!

Jon squatted to let the direwolf close his jaws around his wrist, tugging his hand back and forth. It was a game they played. But when he glanced up, he saw Ygritte watching with eyes as wide and white as hen's eggs. - Jon VI ACOK

Drogon looped his neck around to nip at her hand. His teeth were very sharp, but he never broke her skin when they played like this. Dany laughed, and rolled him back and forth until he roared, his tail lashing like a whip. It is longer than it was, she saw, and tomorrow it will be longer still. - Dany IV ASOS

Add more please!

[enigma-the-mysterious]

No, actually upon pondering more about it, song and music is such an integral part of RRR. You actually cannot separate it from the story. The music is woven into the fabric of the story and the story is woven into the fabric of the music

Malli and her song Komma Uyyala literally kicks off the whole movie

Dosti is essential to show us Ram and Bheem's deepening bond and how their friendship is doomed to end in tragedy and bloodshed if they do not take the correct steps. It literally does so much heavylifting for Ram and Bheem's friendship. It brings you to care about them as friends. I would argue that the betrayal later hurts as much as it does BECAUSE of the existence of this song. Anything longer would have dragged out this already long as fuck movie. Anything shorter would have seemed rushed and contrived. Dosti was perfect and efficient.

Naatu Naatu is just a condensation of the themes and the plot of the movie. And probably also the only way Ram could get Bheem out from where the white men had him cornered without getting his friend lynched.

Komuram Bheemudo.... how do I even begin with this? It's EVERYTHING. It's the emotional climax of the movie. It's the turning point in the movie. Nowhere is the conflict between Ram's approach to the revolution and Bheem's approach to revolution more palpable than in this song. It's integral to Ram's character arc. It pushes Ram towards his epiphany. The final one hour of the movie literally would not exist if not for this song. This song is a part of the story and the story is a part of this song. FUCK

And this isn't even scratching the surface regarding the LAYERS of storytelling fuckery happening in the fucking background score. How The Fire as Ram's character motif is a red herring which only ever plays when he is acting as a tool for the British Empire and it never plays again after the flogging. How Prodigious Precision is likely to be his ACTUAL character motif. How the Komma Uyyala instrumentals forms much of the background score in Bheem's scenes like here, indicating that his love for Malli is the driving force for his actions. How Bheem- The Tsunami has vocals saying "janaab e Akhtar" indicating that his Akhtar disguise is also a part of his identity now. How the Fire and Water score has both Bheem's Gond Protector motif and Ram's Cop Motif playing before they combine and give away to a corrupted version of Dosti. How a melancholic sounding version of Dosti called Tears, Blood and Breach plays when Ram finally forces Bheem's surrender and then it never plays again for the next one hour of the movie while they are separated and at odds with each other. How the next time Dosti plays, it's only when they are finally, FINALLY reconciled and they are called Closer than Ever and Together We Rock

I don't even think I am writing propaganda at this point. It's just me being deranged.

Om Shanti Om:

Incredible movie about a failed Bollywood actor in the 70's who falls in love with a popular actress, they both get killed and he's reincarnated as the son of a superstar and get his revenge. It's an hommage to Bollywood movies from the 70's, and it also marks the end of 2000 area Bollywood. It also as the best Bollywood song ever https://youtu.be/2drIKUOCZxU

A real love letter to Bollywood. My favorite number is when a bunch of Bollywood stars make cameo appearances. It’s like a Bollywood Royal Rumble. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzLG6OqOcn8

RRR:

Best musical ever. Best action movie ever. Best period drama ever. Just the best MOVIE ever. It really is the MOST. Don't believe me? Watch Naatu Naatu. Watch Komuram Bheemudo. Then come back to me. You are welcome.

[dazzle02]

I don't believe they'll make buddie happen, nothing has pointed that way.

But I will actually be even more pissed if they do. I made a post about this a while back, but here we go again. They CAN NOT REWARD THOSE PEOPLE!

For months we've had to deal with abuse directed towards us. As have the cast! Loud had so many death threats sent his way! Tim himself was harassed and bullied.

If they reward that, I'm gonna be pissed forever.

I'm choosing to try and keep a little hope that this isn't truly over. That they haven't just made the biggest mistake they possibly could by breaking up this queer couple who they KNOW has made so many actual queer men feel so seen and represented. The parts of interviews that I've seen don't sound promising in the slightest, and that's why it's literally the tiniest bit of hope possible. But I have to keep a little hope because everything is just awful right now.

They had to know doing this would genuinely hurt so many people. They DO KNOW how much this has meant to people because they've talked about it. They have to know that if this is final then they've just put Buck right back on that hamster wheel they were so happy to get him off. They have to know that this came out of nowhere and is genuinely awful.

Tim said he was excited to bring in a love interest for Buck that could fit into the show properly. Who was also a firefighter. Then he NEVER used that. They never showed them running into each other at a scene. They never had them really talking about the job. They never had scenes where they truly acknowledged that Tommy can fit into Buck's world.

It really just feels like all talk. Like I said, it's insulting, it's cruel, it's unnecessary.

They introduced a character who WORKS as Buck's partner. They introduce an amazing dynamic where he fits into Buck and Eddie's friendship. They give us so many moments that indicate that this will LAST. That this MATTERS. Then they end it like that.

So much talk about how excited they were to tell this story. To see where this relationship goes. So much wasted potential.

And now they've doomed us to even worse from those bullies who have been targeting us for months.

I'm probably gonna stay away from tumblr for a while. I'll check in at every episode to see what's going on, but I don't want to deal with what I know is coming.

And I'm angry, and hurt, and heartbroken. I need to focus on things that will make me happy. I've been angry for days now, and it's destroying me.

This just feels like a kick in the face.

[neon-kazoo]

Two steps.

That’s how close Hero was to the door when it slammed shut behind them. They were frozen, staring in shock at the figure resting causally in a high-back chair.

Villain was settled right in the center of the room they had just entered.

The loud thud and the softer click of the lock is what finally snapped Hero out of their statuesque state. Unfortunately, by then, it was far too late to flee. That left ‘fight’ on the list of appropriate reactions to this situation, but Hero’s weapon felt like plastic cutlery in their hand.

Against him, it would never be enough.

They raised it anyway, hands trembling visibly as they pointed it towards the man with one leg crossed over the other.

“I’d drop that, if I were you,” he drawled, drumming his fingers over what appeared to be a remote and flicking his eyes up over the hero’s head.

Slowly, Hero tilted their head back, their gaze reluctantly shifting to the ceiling.

Their weapon slipped from their fingers, clattering to the ground like the toothpick it was.

“Kick it over there, if you wouldn’t mind,” Villain ordered, nodding to one side of the room.

Hero’s foot moved almost robotically and their weapon skittered across the floor.

“Great, now we can talk.”

Villain leaned forward, never taking his hand off that remote, fingers hovering ominously over the buttons.

“Talk,” the hero parroted numbly, standing stiff and swallowing hard.

Right. Because Hero had all their best conversations at laser-point.

A lazy smile spread across the villain’s face.

“Please, take a seat.”

Hero walked stiffly to the only other chair in the room, all-too aware or the whirring of the device in the ceiling that was locked onto their every move. They sat, perching uncomfortably on the edge of a deep cushion.

There was only one thing on their mind, and that was escape.

But there was no way out. Hero had studied the building blueprints long enough to know that this room had only the one exit and no windows. They were trapped deep in the interior of the abandoned science facility and could be killed at the press of a button.

A painful silence spread between them as Villain took in the definitively trapped hero.

“Well,” the villain chatted lightly, “I was beginning to think you’d be late.”

It was fairly hard to be late to something you didn’t know you were walking into, Hero thought—but wisely did not voice.

The villain inclined his head like he was awaiting a response, so the hero gave him one.

“What are you doing here?”

That did not appear to be the response he was looking for.

“Now Hero, is that any way to have a proper conversation?”

Said hero found themselves biting their tongue about the correlation between threat of death and breaking the cooperative principle. Their heart threatened to beat right out of their chest, like the organ itself knew any word they spoke might send them straight to the afterlife.

The villain tsked at the stony glare that was sent his way in lieu of a reply.

“You’re here, so I can pass on some helpful information,” he spoke and added smoothly, “I suggest being grateful.”

“Not to state the obvious here but,” they hesitated for only the briefest of moments before continuing, “why the hell would I believe you?”

“I present you with a gift, Hero. I do not take such a thing lightly,” he stated seriously. If he held any distaste for their choice of language, he held it at bay for the moment.

“And what am I going to do with this ‘information’?” The hero questioned. Confidence that didn’t feel entirely their own compelled them forward as they scoffed, “Take it to my grave? How generous of you.”

“Please. The Ray is purely for personal safety assurances.”

He gestured vaguely to the deathly contraption in the ceiling.

A giant super-powered laser did not seem to Hero like it would be included under the weapons of self defense category, but once again, they kept their mouth shut.

Perhaps their words had already doomed them, but perhaps the Villain had enough grace to ignore a certain number of inappropriate retorts, given the circumstances—fearing for their life and all.

“Right. So…” Hero took a moment to compose themselves before they continued carefully, “what kind of information?”

The villain grinned, showing all his teeth and revealing the maniacal glint in his eyes.

“I’m so glad you asked.”

[ghoularaki]

baby's breath | 13

↠  summary: Merely by coincidence, Erwin, your father's former friend had crossed paths with you again after nearly a decade. He offered solace once finding out you were struggling with not just school, but your home life as well. His home he shared with another one of your father's friends, Levi, became a sanctuary. Though, the more you came over for study sessions, the more they wiggled themselves into your private life. And like baby's breath, they weeded themselves in so deep you couldn't uproot them.

↠ word count: 3,071

↠ pairing: levi ackerman x reader x erwin smith

↠ genre/warnings: angst, smut, modern au, DARK CONTENT, yandere, daddy kink, forced infantilism, pet play, age gap, bondage, emotional manipulation

“What is there to talk about, Officer?” Levi questioned, impudence thick on his tone.

“Levi,” Erwin scolded.

From looking at the outside in, the picture painted was Erwin irritated by Levi’s tone, but you knew better. And maybe the police officer did too from the side glance he gave you.

Hand cradling your elbow, you could only watch the scene unfold in front of you.

“I mean no harm Mr. Ackerman, just some precautionary questions.”

The officer didn’t move the door, his stance lax and friendly. Though his golden eyes glinted with advertency.

Levi scowled at his last name being uttered. His body tensed, not exactly scared but prepared for a fight.

Sniffing out the hostile air, Erwin cut in. “I’m sorry about him. We had a very long day and he just came back from a business trip.”

“I see,” Officer Yeager hummed, obviously not convinced.

Swallowing, Erwin put on his pleasant facade, “What is it you would like to ask?”

“Ms. L/n had a lot of peanuts in her stomach for someone who is allergic and has known since she was a child. Care to explain?”

“That was completely my fault. I made something with peanuts in it without the knowledge that she had been in fact allergic and she had no clue until it was too late.”

The officer smiled with a quirked eyebrow. “How unfortunate. And why was an epipen not administered?”

“She lost it.”

Acknowledging you, he turned all his focus on your recluse form, “Is this true?” He laid his suspicion on thick.

Glancing at Levi, you gulped, “Yes.”

Officer Yeager hummed, “That will be all. Let me walk you guys to the receptionist so you can go home.” His eyes never left you while he spoke.

Walking out the door, he waited for Erwin and Levi to leave first. You stared at him as you followed the two. He closed the door and strided the same pace as you.

You held your breath the whole time. You could tell the truth. You could tell him everything, that you were abducted and stashed away in their pretty, unsuspecting home. Though fear gripped you. The unpredictability terrified you.

You got exactly what you wanted, a chance to escape. Now that it’s right in front of you, you were paralyzed. The officer was your ticket out, but who knew what Levi or Erwin would do.

Reaching the nurse’s desk, Levi beckoned you over. “You have shit you need to sign.”

Your vision wobbled as you stumbled towards the counter. The pen shook in your grasp as you tried to read what laid in front of you.

All you had to say was simple. But the risk was too high now. Both men crowded you and you had no clue what Levi would do. He was an abnormally strong man and he wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. Was the chance to save yourself worth the risk of the lives now in your hands?

You tried to reassure yourself. Officer Yeager seemed suspicious of them so all you had to do was wait it out. Suspicion wasn’t enough and as the two men crowded you, you knew you were doomed from the start.

Signing the release forms, you didn’t even flinch when Erwin patted your head.

“Let’s get you home,” He spoke with such a soft voice. He must be so relieved.

Placing a hand on your upper back to guide you, his palm burned.

“Have a good day gentlemen, Ms. L/n,” Officer Yeager called out.

Tilting his head back, Erwin called, “You as well.”

Clutching your fingers together in boney knots, you stared straight ahead not processing the blinking halls. Erwin didn’t let go of you until you were all in the elevator. The metal doors screeched closed, leaving you completely vulnerable.

If it weren’t for the cameras, you knew Levi would have been on you in an instant.

“Just wait until we get back. Maybe it will get inside your thick fucking skull once I’m finished with you.”

You didn’t reply, only zoned off.

“Oi, brat, are you listening?” Levi barked.

“Leave it be for now, Levi,” Erwin sighed, fingers pinched the top of his nose to ward off the incoming headache.

The doors dinged open. Entering the lobby, natural beams poured in from the glass sliding doors, breaking up the overwhelming fluorescent lights. Crossing through the frame, you left the hospital unsuccessful. You could only feel anger towards yourself for your cowardness.

The two men hauled you through the parking lot, following the sidewalks until you were at a more secluded area.

“Are you fucking stupid?” Levi was the first to break the silence.

You were about to answer, but Erwin cut in first. “I didn’t-”

“You didn’t fucking know?”

Your lids rapidly blinked as you looked at Levi and then Erwin. What the hell?

“Yes, Levi, I didn’t know. I haven’t exactly had the time to go through her medical records and obviously she wasn’t going to say anything.”

Medical records? He didn’t have access to that unless he was talking about the records given to you when you graduated high school. You remember it being haphazardly stowed away in your apartment. You stopped walking. He didn’t.

The two didn’t notice you paused as they continued to argue. From here, you could see Erwin’s sleek, black car in the distance. Backing away, you were about to run back into the hospital and beg for help, but Levi caught you. Before you could even slip away, his cold hand gripped you so hard a bruise had already formed.

His nails pinched your skin. “Oh no you don’t.”

Dragging you to the car, he threw the door open and shoved you inside. Forcing you to the left seat behind Erwin, he climbed inside with you. Grabbing the seatbelt, he buckled you in and tightened it so hard it dug into your hips.

Levi matched your glower. “Don’t start more shit. I’m already in a bad mood.”

You crossed your arms and leaned away from him to stare out the window. Huffing, he left you be. The door slammed. Glancing at the rearview mirror, Erwin was already looking.

Going back to the window, you rested your forehead against the warm glass. Erwin backed out of the parking lot and took off, taking you away from society.

Hitting the road, you watched all the tall buildings surrounding you. Deep in the center of the city, you even passed your former university. Sadness engulfed you of the life you were never going to have again. Say you do escape, you could never continue as you did before. You would probably have to live like you were being hunted.

The buildings got smaller and further apart as you approached the rural areas. Green trees with spotting oranges whirled past you. Was it already getting colder out?

Remembering the road to get to their house, panic hit you all at once. You were no more than a couple minutes from the home. Despite trying to prepare yourself for what’s to come, you can’t. You can’t do it.

Unclipping your belt, you gently guided it so they couldn’t hear the fabric rubbing against metal. Gripping the handle, you subtly tugged on it, but it wouldn’t budge. You pulled again, but it didn’t give. Freaking out, you rapidly yanked on it, not caring they could obviously hear and see what you were doing.

“Hey!” Levi barked.

You ignored him as you used your full body to jerk at the handle, tears spilling over. The salty water hit your tongue as you openly sobbed. “Let me out! I can’t, please. Let me out, let me out. Let me out, please!”

Erwin sped up to get you home faster, not wanting to pull over and have someone see you like this. They couldn’t have any more witnesses. The police officer had them both on edge.

Unclipping his own belt, Levi leaned over the center console. Fingers wrapped around your nearest arm and wrenched you to the middle seat. Letting go of your arm, he palmed your head and slammed it against the console. You winced at throbbing pain in your forehead. Brain rattled in your skull from the force. He leaned his elbow into your upper back, immobilizing you. Your hands were free and you used one to push against his seat and the other to claw at his hand.

Your feet blindly kicked. You need to get out of this car and away from them.

Nose awkwardly squished against the console, you tilted your head to get air. Levi pressed further into your temple.

“G-get off me. Let me go!” Blubbering, you continued your hysterics.

Opening the glove compartment with his unoccupied hand, he grabbed a bundle of napkins.

“Get off-!” He shoved the crumpled tissue into your open mouth, silencing you.

This only made you cry and flail more.

“You aren’t helping, Levi,” Erwin snapped.

“Well it got her to shut up, didn’t it?”

Grovel under tires only upped your distress. Whining and whimpering through the napkins, drool made it soggy in your mouth. The thin paper clung to your tongue. Weakly grasping at Levi’s fingers, you tried to rip the appendages back.

Shifting the stick into park, the mechanical clunking of the gears only caused you to tug more. Erwin unbuckled himself and exited the car, leaving you with Levi.

“Are you done flipping your shit?”

Exhausted, you let your body sag against the console. Nothing could be done now. Staring at his torso, you nodded the best you could and released your grip on his fingers.

Shifting his hold from your head to your nape, he forced you up. The scowl didn’t leave his face. No pity was given to you. Opening the glove compartment again, he grabbed two more napkins.

Holding one under your chin, he commanded, “Open.”

Letting your jaw relax, the wad fell from your lips. It landed on the brown tissue with a wet plop. A shiny string connected the paper together. Levi’s face twisted in disgust. Grabbing the other napkin, he started to wipe the drool and snot that dripped down your lower face. You sniffled as more tears silently dripped down.

His eyes bounced to yours, holding your bobbling gaze. His lips parted to speak, but Erwin swung open the car door on the left side. Levi released your nape allowing you to turn towards the large man.

“Come,” He grabbed your arm before you could even respond.

Plucking you out of the car, you stumbled on your feet. The other door slammed, Levi rounded the front of the car as Erwin forced you down the driveway. His fingers bit into your upper arm.

“Y-you’re hurting me,” You cried, prying at his bruising grip.

Erwin lugged you closer and bent down to get in your face. “You don’t get the luxury to complain after what you put me through.”

Pushing you up the small stairs of the front porch, he forced the door open and shoved you inside. Unable to catch yourself, you fell on your hands and knees. You gasped at the landing, palms definitely scraped.

Behind you, Levi soon followed Erwin inside. The multiple locks were clicked shut, entrapping you. As the two toed off their shoes, you tried to crawl away, but Erwin quickly scooped you up with an arm around your waist.

Carrying you out the mudroom with a clear destination in mind, he stopped in his tracks at the booming knocks coming  from the door. You still in his grasp, he turned to Levi about to emerge through the doorway.

“You get it, I’ll deal with her.”

Carry you to the living room so he can hear the conversation, he sat on the recliner and twisted you on his lap. You attempted to squirm, but Erwin squeezed so tight around your ribcage until all the air left you. Slapping his palm over your mouth, his hand encompassed your jaw.

Twisting the lock free, Levi opened the door with no regard.

“Yes?” He frowned at the old man stood on their porch.

The old man couldn’t be younger than 70. He seemed quite healthy for his age, but obvious wear and tear on his wrinkled skin. Put off by Levi’s standoffish attitude, he tried to smile to lessen the tension.

“I’m sorry to disturb you. Lately I have been seeing lights flicker on and off at night, and it's been making it difficult for my wife to sleep.”

Your heart dropped and you stilled in Erwin’s lap. Everything was going wrong today. Nothing had been going according to plan. You wanted to pull your hair out.

Confused, Levi tried to explain it away to get the old man off his fucking porch. “It must be me getting up at night. I have insomnia. I’ll try to be more conscious about it.”

The old man smiled, but tersely like he didn’t believe him. “That’s quite alright. Sorry, again.”

He walked off, but stopped and you could see his shadow through the curtains as if looking for something. His shadow slowly dissipated until he was completely gone.

Levi slammed the door causing you to jump. “Fucking old people,” He mutters as entered the living room.

“Is he gone?” Erwin questioned, his voice brushing against the top of your head.

“Should be.”

“Go get what you need, I will explain her punishment.”

This kick started your fight once more. You scratched at Erwin’s arms. Whatever they had in mind, you didn’t want to partake in at all. You refuse to be degraded like all the times they punished you before.

“Settle,” He demanded in your ear, clutching you tighter to his body.

Screaming against his palm, you opened your mouth to bite, but he removed his hand before you could.

“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!” You sobbed, punching at his arms.

Erwin grunted at your elbow jamming into his front. Gathering up your wrists with one hand, he held them down, immobilizing you. Your legs kicked and thrashed.

Levi entered to see the spectacle before him, “She seems to be taking it well.”

“Your sass—knock it off,” He growled at you before continuing, “isn’t appreciated.”

“Of course she isn’t taking it well, let me go!” You countered, hating how they talk like you weren’t in the room.

“Muzzle or restraints first?”

Focusing on Levi, in his grasp sat the mitten restraints, muzzle and shock collar. You rapidly shook your head, you didn’t want to be restrained again.

“Restraints.”

Coming to you, Levi kneeled before you and Erwin. Letting go of one hand, Erwin held the other as Levi started his work. Clutching your wrist, he shoved your hand deep into the mitten, your fingers tucked in. Fastening the belt, he went for your other hand. Erwin switched his hold so you couldn’t jerk away from Levi.

“Were you able to explain or was she throwing too big of a tantrum,” Levi asked Erwin, his attention purely on the bondage.

“I am not throwing a fucking tantrum,” You seethed.

Levi raised a brow and slowly rolled his eyes up to yours. “You’re not? Then explain why Erwin has to hold you down like a toddler. Or I don’t know, we had to go to the fucking hospital because things aren’t going your way.”

“You fucking kidnapped me! I just want to be treated like an adult and you freaks- ow!” You hissed.

Levi tugged the other belt so hard it pinched your skin. His pull forced you down closer to him.

“Enough,” Erwin said, he shifted you in his lap to face him. Your knees straddled his hips as you sat more in the middle of his thighs rather than on his crotch. Lifting your hair up, he allowed Levi more access to your neck. Levi stood up to get a better vantage point.

He continued, “Time and time again I try to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you keep disappointing me. Anytime we give any leeway, you only hurt yourself. Until you can learn, we are in control of everything.”

You opened your mouth to rebuttal they already are, but Erwin raised his hand to stop you.

“You are no longer going to eat by yourself, bathe by yourself, dress by yourself, go to the bathroom by yourself. Anything you do, you need permission. You can’t be trusted.”

From behind, Levi slipped the shock collar around your throat, fastened the loop and locked it. Letting your hair fall, Erwin’s hands rested on your hips.

“How can I get permission if you’re just going to gag me?”

“You’ll see.”

Your fingers curled in the leather mittens, “This isn’t fair. I’m not some animal, I have rights.”

Bringing the muzzle around, with his hand on the cage, Levi adjusted it on your lower face. “You’re lucky we are even allowing clothes. Being restrained is the least of your worries.”

Wrenching the belts tight enough, you were completely gagged. Hovering over you, Levi planted his hands on your shoulders, his thumbs dug into your collarbones.

Erwin leaned to give a kiss on the edge of the muzzle, his nose brushing against your cheekbone. His hands slipped up your t-shirt to caress the bare skin of your waist. “Even with Levi’s crude cuffs and gag, you’re so beautiful like this.”

Levi huffed from above you, “Sorry I can’t stand your stupid frilly, pink shit.”

“I wasn’t complaining, just making an observation.” Erwin gave one last kiss to your temple and pulled away. “I have work to do, keep her occupied.”

Lifting you off Erwin by your waist, he planted you next to him on the couch. Erwin got up and walked off, leaving you with Levi. Curling in on yourself as much as you could, you scooted away.

“Come back here,” Levi instantly put his arm around your shoulders and forced you back to him. “You better get used to being touched because you’re not even getting an inch away from us.”

You snarled, unable to do more than that.

“Bitch and moan all you want, you’re not getting out of this for a while. Next time don’t be so impulsive.”

You hate that he was right. Next time, as he said, you will be a few steps ahead. You’ll take this as a learning curve. You were getting out of here, alive.