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sttrawberries · 9 hours ago

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A little side note: I read this on my computer, saved it as a draft so I could edit it my phone and add emojis to react to some things that I couldn't put into words but I think the draft is too long and it doesn't open in my phone, so this will be emojiless :(

‘’Unfortunately, while you’re apart, the Joker makes things even more complicated with a phone call and a gun. And your world comes crashing down before you can even put names to all the stars in your sky.’’ okay time to get tissues for my future tears before I start

‘’in this version, Rose and Jason never get together’’ THANK YOUUUUU!!! sorry but I’m so relieved sksksksks I’m just very glad things don’t get complicated adding Rose in the middle considering how close these two were

‘’mentions of Jason and the reader sharing a dark sense of humor to cope with their traumas’’ my kind of people

STARTING HARD ALREADY, PHEWWWW

‘’He would make jokes about ‘shutting you up’ by keeping his dick in your mouth, and you never wanted him to get too cocky about having this.’’ Me with the first half: -.- Me with the second half: :)

‘’Naturally, the room was filled with nothing but the sounds of you gurgling on his cock and the moans that he could barely contain due to the deadly heat of you eagerly swallowing his dick’’ *meanwhile the rest of the group*: ‘’oh no they’re at it again’’

‘’It was a move much more tender than he would have ever made before’’ progress!!!

‘’This Jason put his arm around you in a room full of people, not caring who looked on.’’ OH *imagine my eyes full of tears with a little smile*

Can I just say that I love how detailed this is? I love it!<3

‘’loving the absolutely lust-sick look on his face as you did this.’’ AAAAAAAAAAA if only I could see it

‘’It was a smooth, steady motion - a joining of two people that came from silent, delicate knowing and trust’’ manifesting this into existence

‘’Staring right into your eyes, no shying away, no backing down. As if inviting you to a more intimate part of him that you had somehow never seen’’ IT’S HAPPENING AAAAAA

‘’there was that thing deep in your gut that yearned for him to pull out and peel the condom off so that you could feel every single raw inch of him - but you told yourself you were smarter than that. You should be.’’ You better be! (meanwhile I would do the same sjsksksj)

‘’holding you like you were something precious. It was so unlike every other time he had fucked you - when all of his touches were about grabbing, consuming you, holding you like you were an object to be taken and owned by him in those moments.’’ !!!!

‘’But this was so different. Especially for you and Jason’’ enjoying this new way but also loving the old one

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You whispered back, fishing for some of that old banter - the humor that had founded your entire ‘relationship’ with Jason. ‘’ PLEASE THE BANTER MUST NEVER GO AWAY

‘’He resisted the urge to get sappy, to say ‘I meant you, you’re perfect’.’’ SHUT UPPP

OOOOOOH THIS NEW POSITION

‘’He sucked slightly, leaving marks, being entirely selfish in his claiming of you’’ I’m not complaining ksksksk

‘’It was his silent way of begging you not to double back, not to realize what a mistake you had made. ‘’ mhm..

‘’With his face buried in your neck, kissing you, breathing in your scent - it was almost tender.‘’ I’m speechless with this masterpiece

‘’You didn’t want to scare this part of him away. ‘’ :(

‘’You would be horrified if that tricky piece of latex got lost inside of you and you had to tell someone else in the Tower why you had to go to the ER to get it out.’’ SKSJSKSSJKSJS

‘’Dick had you guys locked up in the Tower, constantly breathing down your necks - that was one of the reasons why you even turned to Jason for sex at all. He was right there. He was available. He was decent looking.’’ Well asajshjshsjj

‘’that had you even more adamant about the condoms, because you didn’t know where he had… been. ‘’ KSJSAKSJAKS

‘’And then when Rose first came around, you saw the way she looked at him.’’ D:

‘’They don’t fuck other people because they’re in love. ‘’ *intense staring*

‘’and him giving that small bit of physical affection to Jason was about as good as an outright apology, telling him how much of a mistake it was to send him away in the first place.‘’ ugh

‘’You knew that Jason from a few weeks ago would have jumped at the chance to go back to Gotham, to resume his duties as Robin. ‘’ oh my boy

“The Tower was just supposed to be a temporary stop-over, right?” well yeah

‘’Gotham needs Robin.” :/

‘’One of the main reasons he took up the mantle of Robin, taking on someone else’s costume and name, rather than creating his own - was because he knew that lots of lost kids looked up to Robin. When he was a young kid, growing up in the shittest parts of Gotham, he admired Robin. He had been truly thrilled to meet Dick for the first time because, in a world where he was starving and alone and none of the adults in his life cared - Robin was his hero. Someone (seemingly) not much older than himself, who donned a cape, didn’t have any superpowers or magic, and got to stand alongside the Bat himself, fighting for justice. A voice for the voiceless. A fist for the powerless’’ pls i want to hug him

“But… but what about us?” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

‘’He said it so fondly, like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to think of you and him as a pair. ‘’ CRYING EMOJI x6

THE ‘’ Say it and I’m yours for the rest of your life.’’’ TO THE ‘’ How much I fucking love you? How I can’t leave here now because I can’t leave you? How I would quit being Robin if it meant getting to be with you?’’ HAS ME SCREAMING

“The Tower was supposed to be a stop-over. At first. (…) But then… we… happened.” It doesn’t matter from which part of the world you’re reading this, if you focus enough I bet you can hear me screaming

‘’Was it the two of you finding your life-long soulmates and being too traumatized and stubborn and stupid to actually acknowledge it? ‘’ YES

‘’Jason’s face cracked with a flutter of disappointment and sadness’’ NOOOO BABY

‘’When he had found out how similar the two of you were, he found his soul more and more drawn to yours.’’

‘’Jason called it luck because it was that incident that led you on the path to meeting him. ‘’ HE’S SO IN LOVE

‘’Of course Dickhead was being righteous about his moral code. ‘’ JSSKJSKSJ

“Do you want me to go with you?” PLEASEEEE

‘’Jason had no clue why it was his first instinct to offer this. But it felt right. It felt instinctive to attempt to comfort you these days, rather than combating you or coming up with some annoying, clever comeback. ‘’ AAAAAAAAAA I’M CRYING

“You also have a habit of running toward situations that don’t benefit you.” I mean.. he’s not wrong

“He keeps a trophy room full of stuff from every criminal he’s ever taken down (…) It’s his own form of weird, fucked-up sentiment.” (?

‘’Will I ever see you again?’ He wanted to ask.’’ aaaAAAAAAA

‘’Jason couldn’t imagine not having you around.’’ i could cry again

“I could come to Gotham.” YESSSSSS

“I guess I could come see that stupid cave you’re always talking about.” SKSJSJSS

“Come back afterwards.” He replied, clearly hoping for more cuddles - or more sex. ‘’ OKAY SKSKSSKSK

“So… I guess this is goodbye?” NO

‘’If you had known that was going to be the last time you kissed him, you would have savored it more. ‘’ SHUT UP

‘’Or the shocking delightful kind of cold like when you played a prank on him, running your super-powered icy fingers up his back just to get a rise out of him.’’ SJSKSKS

‘’His arms were pinned behind his back and bound at the wrists –‘’ WHAT ALREADY NONONO

‘’His throat became dry and he held back a whimper of fright when he saw that the limp body on the floor was you.’’ IT’S A NIGHTMARE

‘’something that caused him to fall in love with you.’’ AAAAAAAAAAA

‘’But he had never seen you afraid’’ :(

‘’Why should it be Jason’s choice to trade one life for another? ‘’ *staring*

‘'And even if he did - he wasn’t going to give up Dick. He had a strange sense of loyalty to the person who had shit on him and failed to help him time and time again. ‘’ ah :(

‘’Jason grabbed you up in his arms, hoisting you onto his lap. (…) He hated the contrast of your cold flesh and the heat of the blood rushing out of you and quickly covering him.’’ Uf

‘’he was in his bedroom in Gotham.’’ :/

‘’He wanted to blame it on your lack of presence in his bed, or the fact that Bruce had practically banned him from training, now that he was benched from being Robin’’ too many things

‘’Bootycall Temporarily Unavailable’’ KSKSKDDJD

‘’The two of you often changed each other’s names in your contacts as a joke.’’ Aw cuties

‘‘Robin’s Ice Machine’’ KSSJSJSSJSSJ

‘’He had sent you a simple ‘u up?’ around three o’clock in the morning, being sleepless and horny, and you had replied ‘don’t come in here with that fuckboy attitude unless you’re bringing snacks’. ‘’ AJAKAJSKAJS

‘’I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you.’’ SO CLOSE

‘’He heaved a sigh, deleted the message’’ NOOOOOO

‘’then considered texting Gar to ask where you actually were’’ pls

‘’When Jason went back to Gotham, Bruce made him go to therapy.’’ We’re getting there *crying*

‘’He genuinely thought that her only job was to dig around for his secrets - any signs of his weakness, and report them back to Bruce.’’ I feel him

“Mother.” Leslie said, posing the first word.

“Fucker.” Jason said upon instinct, doing what he did best - deflecting from being too vulnerable by using crude humor. ‘’ KSSSJSSKSKSKSKSSKS

‘’She was one of the only adults in his life that he had ever felt bad for disappointing. Not because she put too many expectations on him - but because she didn’t. Because she expected pretty much nothing of him, and he wanted to show her that he could be great.’’ :/

‘’Jason appreciated it - nobody had ever given him the chance to ‘try again’. Not even you. But he was glad about that. When you mocked him for his mistakes or called him out on his bullshit, it made him want to try harder. You were the only person in the world that he found himself actively trying for.’’ AAAAA

‘’practicing the honesty that you had forced him to find within himself, Jason tried a more honest approach to Leslie’s word game.’’ Okay

‘’Bruce was the closest thing to a father that he ever had. And Jason knew that he was a bad son, constantly disappointing him - constantly failing to live up to the giant shadow that Dick had left behind.’’ NOOO I need to hug him please

“Safe.” She announced the next word.

“Y/N.” He said your name without hesitation.’’ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!

‘’She knew that someone like Jason hadn’t grown up feeling safe, and she was curious why the concept of safety came to him now as a person’s name - and why he seemed so conflicted about it, about someone he had never even mentioned before’’ HEHEHEHE

‘’Leslie didn’t presume to know Jason’s sexuality, or the gender of his special person (and she wouldn’t judge him, no matter what he said)’’ nice!

‘’A friend that he sometimes fucks? Should he even call you a friend? You had tried to save his life, but before that, the two of you had never really been friendly.’’ KSKSSKS

‘’it meant that you cared.’’ *eyes with tears and a smile*

‘’They know me - they - they’ve seen all the worst parts of me, and… somehow, they don’t care. Y/N saw me at my worst and didn’t run.” Making use of the tissues I got right now

“So - you find safety in not being judged? In… being allowed to be messy?”

“Yeah.” Jason nodded.

“Well, that’s perfectly normal.” She told him.

Jason found an odd sense of relief in this. There wasn’t a lot that was normal in his life‘’ aw I’m happy

‘’Jason resisted the urge to speak up and say that you and him were definitely in the ‘something more’ category, but he didn’t want to jinx it. Not when it was yet to be official.‘’ SSKSSKS okay

‘’are founded on the truth. Founded on two people coming together because they find safety in being allowed to be their most authentic self with the other person. Feeling that they can make mistakes without being judged.” She explained this to him gently, and Jason couldn’t stop thinking about you. “So if you have that with someone, you should embrace it. Embrace that feeling of safety.” AAAAAAAAA

‘’Maybe it was something he wanted even more badly than becoming Robin again. ‘’ ah

‘’Jason knew that he wanted to be loved, even at his worst. But he thought that even you weren’t capable of that. Nobody was. ‘’ WE DO

“Next word.” Leslie looked back down at her list. “Fear.”

Jason didn’t take long with that one either.

“Y/N.”

Leslie looked utterly confused at this one.’’ KSKSSKSKS OKAY I FEEL BAD FOR LESLIE SKSKSKS

‘’It was this mindset that brought him to visiting Crane in prison. He worked hard to reverse manufacture the Fear Gas, wanting to be brave for you - not knowing that it would ultimately be his downfall. ‘’ NOOOOOOOOO HERE IT COMES

‘’It was the type of wealth you had encountered very sparsely in your life. Initially, you had only met that type of rich person for the first time when you had met Dick - someone who drove a vintage Ashton Martin and said it was a ‘family heirloom’, yet thought nothing of trading it in for a minivan on a whim. ‘’ KSKSKSK

‘’You felt awkward accepting something that you hadn’t worked for.’’ :/

How reader felt when she first came to the tower :(

‘’she often mocked you for being so ‘obsessed’ with that ‘brick’ in your pocket’’ sksksksk

Reader constantly checking their phone for Jason’s crumbs

‘’she would rather spend her last days ‘in grace and dignity’ than to be balding and ‘out of her mind’ - so she didn’t accept the only potentially helpful chemo treatment that was offered to her. ‘’ I can understand that

‘’she was going to perform some voodoo ritual on you in order to use your young, healthy body to keep living her life’’ kssjksksks

‘’then you would consider it a much needed vacation.’’ Vacation abruptly interrumpted by a call about Jason..

‘’After the incident where he had free fallen from the building to his near death, he had changed his contact name in your phone to ‘The Flightless Bird’ - a terrible bit of dark humor. You loved it, and you had kept it since then.’’ JAJHSJAJSJJAKAJAJ

‘‘Cold Hands, Hot Ass’’ PFFF

‘’As much as you loved his cock, you thought about how weird it would be trying to get off in your grandmother’s house and Jason was so damn persistent and so damn tempting. ‘’ KSAJSKAJ

‘’I miss you like hell.’ ‘’ AAAAAAAAAA

‘’Dealing with homicidal psychos in costumes and you nagging me for a dick appointment. You on the Gotham tourism board?’’

‘' First stop on the tour - my bed. Second stop - night patrol. We spend a few hours kicking ass together. Which leads into our third stop - Little Tony’s downtown for some pizza’’ Im in

‘’perhaps slightly out of jealousy because he actually got the importance of a title and a suit and you didn’t yet have either.’’ NOOO WAIT YOU WILL HAVE ONE

NOOOOOOOOOOO DON’T DELETE THE MESSAGE

Ohhhh they don’t know yet…

‘’the biggest Robin fan you knew (Gar)’’ SKSKSS

‘’in a sense, he did. That he had begged you to let him go because he hadn’t thought that he was worth saving.’’ :/

‘’For once, this was something that Bruce had done that actually gave you hope for Jason’s future. ‘’ okay..

‘’The typing bubbles appeared at the top of the screen a few times and then disappeared, indicating that Jason had read your message and was unsure about what to say in reply’’ that awkward feeling..

‘’I know that you’re kind of fucked up - but so am I. And I don’t want to spend my time around anyone else because your kind of fucked up matches my fucked up really perfectly, and nobody else understands me like you do.’’ Okay that was a perfect answer

‘’It was something that a version of yourself from a few months ago would have done without hesitation, but you absolutely knew that things between you and Jason had changed. Hopefully, for the better. ‘’ :D

‘’I don’t think my place is with Bruce anymore.’’ AAAAA

‘��he had the ‘choice’ of being homeless or becoming Robin.’’ *SIGHS*

‘‘I got to be away from Bruce. I got some distance from the way he made me think about myself - about Robin. I used to think that I was nothing without him. That I was just some bullshit street kid nobody and him picking me up and making me Robin was what MADE me something.’’ Imagining isn’t enough, I need to cross the screen to hug him

‘’you’re the one who helped me realize that I am something without him. That I can be great - even without Robin.’’ PLEASE

‘’a part of you thought that you weren’t good for Jason. That you were just another nagging force in his life, another negativity. Then - you thought that you were just something he used to fill the time, to distract from the mental noise, as you did with him. And even then, as you realized that you needed him in other ways, and you might be coming to love him - you thought that he would never feel the same about you’’ AAAAAAAAAAAA

‘’The Flightless Bird: ‘Too much?’’’ I snorted

HE’S BEEN LOOKING FOR APARTMENTS

‘’Your stomach curled with warmth at the thought of you and Jason living together, and this time not because of some half-baked superhero team. But by choice.’’ PLEASE I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THAT

‘’Oh, living with rich grandmama has you getting used to the fancy pants lifestyle now? Shall I start looking at mansions with 500 acres and golden swimming pools?’’ SJSJSJ

‘’You’re the only person I know who grew up more poor than I did.’’

‘The correct tense is: poorer.’’

‘‘Yet you could afford grammar lessons? Damn.’’ I’M LAUGHING SO MUCH WITH THE WAY THAT TALK HAS TURNED INTO

‘‘Grandmama will probably have it steam cleaned when you leave. To get the street rat smell out.’ (…) ‘Anyway, do you like the apartment or not?’’ KASKAJAJAJ

‘’But - I thought me and you could help keep it safer.’’ MY HEART

‘’You resisted the urge to correct his grammar again, wanting to tell him the tense was ‘you and I’.’’ THE WAY I ALSO THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SKSKSKS

‘’You had no clue what stupid love bug had bitten you - but you were seriously agreeing to go view an apartment with Jason Todd. And you were more excited than anything else.’’ My hear is so warm now and I know I’m going to get my heart broken in a few paragraphs

‘’For the first time in your entire life, you felt giddy and optimistic for the future. ‘’ awwww

‘’On the other end, Jason pumped an arm and cheered quietly to himself,’’ MY BOYYY

‘’This was just the start of your life together. In his mind, this was just the first of many plans. ‘’ THEY’RE SO IN LOVE

‘’You didn’t want to tell him that you were getting attached to your grandmother, and you didn’t want to leave her yet. You thought he might mock you for developing those vulnerable familial attachments too quickly. And he would have been right’’ hehehe

‘’You sent it to him and received back several heart emojis.

The Flightless Bird: ‘Gorgeous as always, babe.’

Right then, Jason made that picture into his lockscreen.’’ AAAAAAAAAAAAAA A MAN

BUT I GUESS YOU’RE MINE????? AAAAAAAAAA

I knew her grandma would interrupt at some point, but why now? Crying

‘’Besides, I have heard they can give you cancer.”

You let out a snort of laughter. At least it was nice to know where your sense of dark humor came from.’’ SSJSJSJ

‘’the Joker never made himself that obvious unless he wanted to get caught.’’ WE’RE GETTING TO THIS PART ALREADY NONONONO

And we don’t know what his reaction was to the last message, I’m gonna cry

‘’But it just made his senses dull and useless to everything around him. It made him less aware of his surroundings, it blurred out all his fight or flight that nature intended.’’ AAAAAAA NOOO

‘’Bruce tried to give him distance. Without Alfred around to keep an eye on him, nobody reported Jason missing. Nobody even noticed that he was gone. ‘’ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS TOO MUCH

‘’When Jason stopped answering your texts, you got a horrible feeling in your gut. ‘’ AAAAAAAAA THANK YOU

But they can’t tell they’re worried about him because they’re nothing official, crying again

‘’Maybe he had met someone else.‘’ reader spiraling, I don’t know if I should laugh or cry

‘’He spent the interim torturing Jason in increasingly creative ways.’’ Oh no

‘’But he had a feeling that the Joker wasn’t going to let him out of this. ‘’ shhhhh

‘’The Joker clapped his hands together above Jason’s head, loudly. Jason hated that he flinched.’’ Seeing Jason like this is breaking my heart

‘’He should never have made that picture of you into his lockscreen, you were too important, he had put you in danger’’ *crying emoji*

‘’Jason was beaten, dying because of the consequences of his own stupid actions, and you were worried. ‘’ PAINNN

‘’Bruce had gotten him when he had come back to Gotham. A bid to buy his affection’’ D:

‘’Also, sitting with your feet curled underneath you at the dining table caused her glare at you - a lot. ‘’ I feel called out

‘’But you supposed that those deathbed regrets ran deep and she preferred to spend this time with you actually embracing you instead of arguing with you and potentially driving you away.’’ OH GOOD

‘’Everything your grandmother was going for you, it made you feel like you truly mattered for the first time in your young life. ‘’ okay, her grandma it’s not that bad

‘’You wished more than anything that Jason was there with you. Not only would he pull you aside and relentlessly laugh at these plastic-y women with you, but you knew that he would be able to save you from this. He did have a bit more experience being around rich people because of Bruce, and he would actually be able to tell you what the hell they were saying’’ :(

‘’It was a picture of him sticking his tongue out that you had taken using the front facing camera when he had been annoying you over your shoulder one day’’ they’re so cute

‘’You were beginning not to care if he broke your heart. At this point, you were just along for the ride’’ this would be so nice if we didn’t know where this is going

‘’It hadn’t even occurred to you that you had given up Jason’s secret identity - the name behind the Robin mask. You were too busy quaking with fear, your chest tight as you considered: this might actually be the end of his life. ‘’ I DIDN’T NOTICED EITHER UNTIL THIS POINT

‘’You decided right then and there - maybe you had decided a long time ago - if he broke your heart by leaving you alone, by dying, you didn’t care. You didn’t care if he left you fucked up and broken. All of the time the two of you had spent together - it had all been worth it. ‘’ AAAAAAA

“I love you.” I’M CRYING

‘’Moments before his death, you sentenced him to the worst crime of all - breaking your heart. Now, with his own foolish choices, he had damned you to a life without the one you loved.’’ THIS IS SO RAW AND IT’S SO GOOD AND WELL THOUGHT AND ALSO HEARTBREAKING

‘’You weren’t surprised that Jason didn’t say it back - but you hoped that your words, that you saying it brought some comfort to him.’’ NOOO AND IT WAS THE OPPOSITE

“I’m - I’m so sorry, Y/N. Jason’s - he’s gone.” SHUT UP NO

*finishes drying tears* okay I know it took me a lot of time but I finally finished reading it, I absolutely loved it, again, this is a rollercoaster of emotions, from laughing to crying, I’ve enjoyed it so much. Everything was so well put together, thinking in every detail, even the heartbreaking parts had impacted on me so much (and I’m not usually the kind of person that goes looking for angst) but I appreciated every bit.

Now I have to ask, do you have a taglist? Can I be added for when the next part is posted? Thank you!

And thank you so much for sharing your stories! THEY’RE SO GOOD!!!!!!!!

The Jaws of Life

Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Reader

Now part of me has holes in it, and part of me is whole.

We’ve only begun.

I can’t decide - maybe it’s enough to get by for now.

But I’m having the time of my life - rotting in the sun.

We’re inside The Jaws of Life.

Part One: Panic Room

Summary:

You and Jason don't really hate each other - at least not anymore. Your feelings for each other are more than complicated, and before you have time to figure it all out, you have to part ways.

Jason goes back to Gotham at Bruce's behest, and you're off to visit a long lost relative that you didn't even know cared about you.

Unfortunately, while you're apart, the Joker makes things even more complicated with a phone call and a gun. And your world comes crashing down before you can even put names to all the stars in your sky.

Jason Todd x GN!Powered!Reader. Friends With Benefits to Lovers/Lovers Reunited. Smut, Extreme Emotional Angst, Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 3.

Word Count: 19,900

DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link

This is a sequel to Emergency Contact, so make sure that you read that fic before you start this one. This can be read as a standalone, but reading that fic first provides emotional context for the relationship between the characters, and it gives you more amazing stuff to read! Either way, I hope you enjoy it.

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: this fic has a lot of warnings, so strap in - the reader character is completely gender neutral - the main pronouns used for the bulk of the fic are you/yours and there is one scene where Jason is talking to someone else about the reader and uses they/them pronouns for the reader and there is absolutely no descriptions of what genitals the reader character has (I like all my GN fics to be interpreted so that the character could be trans, or cis, or nonbinary, and that they could have a penis or a vagina); there are implications of the reader being trans or nonbinary (something I threw in last minute cause it felt like it fit the fic well), but like with my fat reader fics - if you're cis then just ignore it, roll with it, and remember that most fics are catered specifically for you; this fic DOES use Y/N (as do all of my fics); the reader character has meta powers - the reader character can form ice crystals out of nothing and can freeze pretty much any substance; Jason calls the reader 'babe' (but as I said with the previous fic, I think this is a genderless nickname and Jason would call anyone this when flirting and being affectionate); mentions of Jason's canon kidnapping and canon interactions with Deathstroke (and the trauma those incidents likely caused for him); mentions of canon deaths; the fic starts off with a smut scene - the reader gives Jason a blowjob; mentions of Jason 'gagging' the reader with his cock (during previous incidents, not this time); Jason uses the word 'pretty' to describe the reader (he says they have a 'pretty mouth') - again, I feel like this word is fairly gender neutral, especially in the context of him being affectionate; finger sucking (the reader sucks on Jason's fingers); protected penetrative sex - Jason and the reader fuck while using a condom (and because I didn't describe the reader's genitals, it could be vaginal sex or anal sex, who knows); marking kink; some dirty talk; the reader is more submissive and Jason is more dominant, but there is no explicit BDSM roles; (very brief) cockwarming; (and I think that's it for the smut section, the rest of the warnings are non-smut related); mentions of Rose having a one-sided affection towards Jason or flirting with him to try and further her mission (in this version, Rose and Jason never get together); mentions of Jason's past and the trauma he has surrounding it - including discussions of his poverty, his parents' deaths, his abandonment and neglect by all the adults in his life, his time in foster care; Jason has a generally poor self-image in this fic and has negative internal dialogue surrounding himself when he is narrating; mentions of the reader having a backstory similar to Jason's - the reader grew up in severe poverty and neglect and was homeless for the majority of their young life, and also had a parent who had issues with substance abuse; descriptions of Jason being kidnapped by Deathstroke; semi graphic descriptions of blood and violence (and death); semi-graphic descriptions of Jason being tortured by a kidnapper; mentions of the reader going to visit a long lost relative who is dying of brain cancer (if themes around hospice and palliative care are triggering to you, then these sections might be triggering - but I haven't gone into detail about the medical aspects or mentioned any medical environments or medical equipment, the cancer is a background plot point); mentions of Jason and the reader sexting in the past (none of the messages are detailed here); mentions of Jason and the reader sharing a dark sense of humor to cope with their traumas; an enemy describes the reader character as a 'pretty one' and 'pretty thing' (again, I think this is fairly gender neutral, and the villain uses this term in a more condescending way); descriptions of gun violence; this entire fic has extreme emotional angst, and this first half is the more 'light-hearted' part, so do be warned that this fic will not make you happy and it is a big whump fest.

A/N: I am so fucking excited to post this fic, you guys have no idea omg. This is just the first half, and I think the fic as a whole is what makes it a great fic, but I think this is an amazing start/introduction and I am so excited to hear what you guys think of it!! Especially considering that this fic has been two years in the making and I am finally getting to post it omg. I am SO EXCITED !!!!!

...

“Fuck, babe.”

Jason let out a breathy sigh as your mouth worked on his cock, sloppy and eager against the beautiful dick that you had come to know so well over these past few months.

It was rare that you treated him to a blowjob. Since the two of you had started this ‘relationship’, you had noticed that he often got too greedy when you sucked him off - trying too hard to take control, shoving his cock into your mouth with unhinged care, rather than just sitting back to enjoy the ride. He would make jokes about ‘shutting you up’ by keeping his dick in your mouth, and you never wanted him to get too cocky about having this.

You wanted him to know that it was a privilege to have his cock in your mouth, especially without you simply biting his (very perfect) cock off.

But after the chaotic past few weeks that the team had - with Gar and Conner being captured by Cadmus, with Donna’s funeral still fresh in everyone’s minds - you thought that Jason deserved this to take his mind off all of it. His wounds from Deathstroke had barely healed and everyone was still mourning.

So you had him flat on his back in his bed - similar to the position he had you in not too long ago, when he had pulled the bullet fragment out of your stomach and bandaged you up. And you were straddling his knees as you worked your mouth on his cock, your tongue flat against the underside of the thick, impressive length while you bobbed your head, letting spit flow freely from your open mouth without care. It sloppily gathered around the base, slick down over his balls in a perfect, messy way.

Naturally, the room was filled with nothing but the sounds of you gurgling on his cock and the moans that he could barely contain due to the deadly heat of you eagerly swallowing his dick.

“Fuckin’ love your mouth.” He moaned, bringing a hand down to stroke gentle fingers across your cheek - burning, something that made you gasp quietly against his flesh.

It was a move much more tender than he would have ever made before.

This Jason was a Jason much sweeter than the one Doctor Light took from you on that near-fatal night. You knew that it likely had a lot to do with you laying your life on the line for him - the fact that you had dangled yourself out of a high-rise building trying to save him, vowed that you would never let him go.

That night had changed everything for the both of you.

This Jason was not the same sex-hungry, carnal, ‘live for the moment’ person who had left The Tower that night, half-cocked and determined to prove that he was better than the old ‘relics’ who kept leaving him out of all their plans. This Jason was humble, quiet, thoughtful. This Jason put his arm around you in a room full of people, not caring who looked on. This Jason actually took the time to think before he spoke.

This Jason - even if he didn’t want to admit it - clearly cared about your feelings and wanted to show it.

(And that made him a lot more deserving of a blowjob, unlike the Jason who would fuck into your mouth without asking and then laugh when you gagged on his cock.)

“Goddammit, ‘m close.” Jason mumbled out - you could feel the muscles of his thighs straining under your palms, a concerted effort not to buck up into the warmth of your mouth to chase the finality of his high.

You would have thanked him for it, if you didn’t have your mouth full. Instead, you bobbed your head faster and moaned around him - a wordless invitation for him to cum down your throat, for him to have a prize that he wouldn’t have been worthy of before.

“Shit, babe-”

Jason seethed through his teeth, and then curled his fist into the back of your shirt, tugging - surprisingly, urging you to pull away from his cock.

“Come on, come up.” He said, gulping for breath. “I wanna fuck you.”

You pulled off, leaving a sloppy twinge of spit trailing from your swollen lips to the pink head of his cock, glistening wet and slick sounding. His dick bobbed back toward his pelvis with a filthy, wet sound - causing him to groan as you caught your breath with a small gasp.

“You feelin’ okay?” You chuckled, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “I have never known you to turn down cumming in my mouth.”

“As tempting as it is to see my cum dripping from your pretty lips…”

Jason said, reaching down and gently shoving his thumb past your over-worked, swollen lips. Naturally, you stuck your tongue out and tasted his skin, wrapping your lips around the digit and sucking once again, loving the absolutely lust-sick look on his face as you did this.

You couldn’t help but to indulge in the attention - not when it was his eyes on you.

“I definitely can’t pass up the opportunity to watch you cum while you ride my cock.” He added on, his voice rumbling quietly with lust, the idea clearly something that truly excited him.

You popped your mouth off his thumb before you spoke.

“Oh? You think you’re gonna make me cum before you blow your load?” You chuckled, posing it as a challenge - knowing that he fucked you better when he was riled up, when he thought of it as another thing to prove himself in.

“Think I’m some kind of amateaur?” Jason scoffed quietly under his breath.

He put a hand on your hip and pulled you up his body, silently agreeing to the challenge that you had posed. You shed your shirt while he grabbed a condom - you were already prepped and well lubed, seeing as Jason had made you cum with his fingers and his mouth before you had turned him over on his back, seeking to return the favor.

He rolled the condom on and slicked up his cock with more lube for good measure, something that made a wonderfully filthy slick sound. Then, with his hands firm on your hips, he pulled you up to straddle him and had you mounting him like he was a throne that you were meant to sit upon.

You let out a rattling moan as you sat down on his cock, feeling the full hot length stretch you open for the first time in too long. It was a smooth, steady motion - a joining of two people that came from silent, delicate knowing and trust. At this point, he didn’t have to stop and ask if you were okay - he simply knew from the blissed-out look on your face that you were enjoying every inch of it.

It was perfect.

With your hands balanced on his chest and his forehead pressed against yours, for once, his eyes daring to gaze into yours past the thickness of his lashes. Usually he busied himself with his head in your neck, or squeezed his eyes shut when your dirty talk got to him particularly well. And often, insisted on fucking you from behind so that he could focus more on destroying you with ‘skill’ than falling apart due to the expressions on your face and seeing every little echo of his cock flicker in your eyes.

But this was distinctly different. Staring right into your eyes, no shying away, no backing down. As if inviting you to a more intimate part of him that you had somehow never seen, even if you had been naked together and fucked each other dozens of times by now.

He was hot and heavy inside of you, so beautifully thick, filling you up so well. Strangely, there was that thing deep in your gut that yearned for him to pull out and peel the condom off so that you could feel every single raw inch of him - but you told yourself you were smarter than that. You should be.

“Perfect.” Jason sighed, his breath puffing out against your chin.

It was that single word that warmed your insides and made you clench around his cock, causing him to hum from deep within his chest. He stroked a slow, gentle hand from your hip to the fullness of your ass, up your back, holding you like you were something precious. It was so unlike every other time he had fucked you - when all of his touches were about grabbing, consuming you, holding you like you were an object to be taken and owned by him in those moments.

You had liked it then. It was emotionally detached - but it was hot. It always made you cum hard and fast.

But this was so different. Especially for you and Jason.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You whispered back, fishing for some of that old banter - the humor that had founded your entire ‘relationship’ with Jason.

Jason laughed, and you bit back a moan when you felt the sound vibrating through you, when it drove his cock just a bit deeper inside of you.

He resisted the urge to get sappy, to say ‘I meant you, you’re perfect’. Instead, he wrapped an arm around your waist, tucked a possessive touch tight around you and planted the other arm in the middle of your back, sitting himself up slightly, bending his knees - getting good leverage for what he wanted to do next.

“I don’t need to stroke my own ego when I have you, babe.” Jason announced, his smirk appearing in its usual stance and his voice soft.

Before you could muster any clever reply, he used his tight hold on you to lift you slightly off his cock and then began fucking up into you. In tandem with his rough, heavy thrusts up into you, he slammed your body down to meet the thickness of his cock, creating a rough, demanding rhythm that easily chased the air out of your lungs.

“Jay-” You gasped, quickly becoming breathless. “Jason, fuck me!”

You could little more than let him fuck you senseless. You were used to the feeling of his cock filling you up like this, yet it created that deadly curl in your gut each time like it was brand new. It sent harsh stinging across your nerve endings, a deadly wash across your skin as the heat crept through you.

You knew that Jason was talented at this, but you also knew that it was something else. Something more than attraction - something you couldn’t get from anyone else that you still refused to fully acknowledge.

“Hey, shh.”

Jason hushed you, using that beautifully condescending coo that you knew meant he didn’t actually want you to be quiet - he always wanted to hear how loud you became when you were entranced by his cock. He bent his knees more to fuck up into you even harsher, causing you to make a wounded sound as his cock got even deeper into you.

“I’ve got you.” He whispered, hot against your chin. “I’ve got you, babe.”

The gentle, soothing nature of his voice juxtaposed with the venomous sting of his cock continually snapping against your pelvis was something that made you downright dizzy. All the combined sensations had your body arching against him - your muscles were tightening up, and though he felt that distinct warmth rising up in his own gut, he was proud to know that he had you there already. He was going to make you cum first, just like he had promised. He knew your body too well by now not to play you like a well tuned fiddle.

“You gonna be good for me?”

Jason mumbled against your neck, leaning in to gently skim his teeth along your skin. He sucked slightly, leaving marks, being entirely selfish in his claiming of you. He loved the taste of your skin on his tongue. If you refused to let him go, if you refused to leave him to let him rot in his own poisonous life, then he would let everyone know that you had taken him on and that you were owned now. It was his silent way of begging you not to double back, not to realize what a mistake you had made.

“You gonna cum on by cock?” He added on, his throat flexing slightly as his own lust clutched at him.

It was something that you couldn’t have refused if you tried.

“Jason-!”

You gasped out, unconsciously bucking your hips down to meet his thrusts as he continued fucking up into you hard, getting quite the workout in his legs and abs, spearing his cock into you from the angle below you.

But fuck, you were so worth it. Seeing the twisting pleasure on your face as your orgasm washed over you, feeling the pleasant sting in his back as your nails dug into his shoulders. Hearing your choked off moans and panting breaths as you could do nothing but hang on for the ride, feeling the beautiful mess across his pelvis as you came, showing him just how good he was fucking you.

“So good.” Jason moaned into your neck, latching on to suck the skin there once again. “Fuck, Y/N, so good for me.”

He found his own skin on fire once again as you tightened around his dick, your muscles becoming a hot vice around him as you rode out your orgasm, forcing his mind blank from the pure pleasure of it all. He loved the sounds you made, the look on your face, the way you ground your hips so closely against his as you savored every second of it.

Jason was dizzy as his own orgasm hit him, his whole body tingling and sparking with pleasure as he shot his load into the condom. He put a hand across your back, pulling you close, pressing your body flush against his and grinding up into you in tentative, almost gentle strokes as he rode it out. With his face buried in your neck, kissing you, breathing in your scent - it was almost tender.

It was the closest to love-making that you and Jason had ever gotten.

“Fuck, Jason.” You whined, your stomach curling with a new kind of heat, your skin on fire - this time, alight with the newly birthed feeling of his loving touch on your skin.

To an extent, it almost frightened you. Especially because of how much you liked it, how you could see yourself growing to love it. Especially because now you felt timid. You didn’t want to scare this part of him away.

“I’ve got you.” He said again, quietly mumbling the words into your neck like a sacred promise.

Unable to resist the urge, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, truly holding him, leaning into his touch. You relaxed against his body, sagging into the hold, and Jason hummed with content against your skin at the feeling.

For a few moments - a capsule against the world that felt more peaceful than you had ever known - you let yourself become lost to this feeling.

Still speared on his slowly softening cock, you simply enjoyed the feeling of his hard, muscled frame against you, the feeling of his arms wrapped around you in such an affectionate hold - like two giant pillars keeping you safe from the world. You enjoyed the scent of his fading cologne twinged with his sweat, let one of your hands wander up into his hair and thread a couple of your fingers along his scalp, which got another pleasant moan from him.

When you unconsciously clenched down on him again, you had a thought.

“Jason,” You whimpered out quietly. “The condom.”

It was a cruel disturbance to your peaceful little world, but he knew that the two of you couldn’t just stay like that forever. He would have to separate from you to throw it out eventually. You would be horrified if that tricky piece of latex got lost inside of you and you had to tell someone else in the Tower why you had to go to the ER to get it out.

“Oh shit.” He sighed in return.

You hesitantly climbed off him and luckily, the condom easily slid out on his soft cock, and he tossed it away while you collapsed to lay on the bed beside him.

“We should just stop using condoms.” Jason chuckled, giving you a sly grin as he laid back against the pillows beside you.

“Funny.” You griped sarcastically, moving to lay against his chest. You couldn’t resist the urge to cuddle, even if you wanted to go take a shower and get cleaned up. You could use the excuse that your legs were jelly right now and you wanted to gain back some of your energy first.

You wanted to bring up the fact that you had been so adamant about using condoms with Jason because your ‘relationship’ with him was supposed to strictly be about sex. Sure, when the two of you started fucking, you didn’t expect that he was going to be sleeping with a different person every other week. Dick had you guys locked up in the Tower, constantly breathing down your necks - that was one of the reasons why you even turned to Jason for sex at all. He was right there. He was available. He was decent looking.

And when you and Jason had started sleeping together, you had thought he was lying about how many people he had fucked before you. You thought he was a mouthy virgin or that he had slept with maybe one other person before he so boldly started pursuing you. But he could definitely back up all the talk, and that had you wondering how many of his claims were true. And that had you even more adamant about the condoms, because you didn’t know where he had… been.

And then when Rose first came around, you saw the way she looked at him. You had seen her trying to flirt with him - a gentle touch on his arm, trying to pull him aside to talk after he came back from his brush with Deathstroke. You had wondered if there was something going on between her and Jason.

You wondered if Jason proposing to drop condoms was his strange way of asking you to upgrade the status of your relationship. Friends with benefits, people who are still allowed to fuck other people - they use condoms. They have to use condoms, just in case. But people in a more serious relationship - they don’t always use condoms, because they don’t fuck other people. They don’t fuck other people because they’re in love.

“Jason-” You said his name gently, about to ask him this, but then - his phone rang.

A high-pitched digital tone chimed out from where he had put it on the nightstand and Jason groaned loudly in annoyance before he picked it up, looked at the Caller ID, and then promptly ignored the call.

“Who was it?” You asked, curious who he would outright ignore like that.

“Bruce.” He said, his tone dull, clearly feeling uncertain about the man. “The old man can leave a voicemail. Or send a text like a normal person.”

This was strange to you. You thought that Bruce and Jason were coming to be on better terms.

Bruce had come to Donna’s funeral, and you had seen the two of them talking quietly at one point. You had tried not to stare at the interaction unfolding, poorly reading Bruce’s lips out of the corner of your eye (but you didn’t get much out of it). Near the end of it, you had seen Bruce give Jason a fatherly pat on the shoulder before he walked away from the conversation, and Jason had looked entirely pensive about the whole thing, even if he hadn’t told you what it was about.

You hadn’t been introduced to Bruce, then - the funeral really wasn’t the time for ‘meeting and greeting’, seeing as everyone was quietly in mourning over their lost friend. But you got the sense that he was a stoic and reserved man, and him giving that small bit of physical affection to Jason was about as good as an outright apology, telling him how much of a mistake it was to send him away in the first place.

Apparently Jason didn’t feel the same way.

“I didn’t know you were screening his calls.” You said, curious as to why Jason didn’t want to talk to Bruce.

“I’m busy.” Jason said, giving you his usual stunning grin before he leaned in and began kissing up your neck again. It was a pleasant, sweet type of affection, but he was clearly deflecting from the actual point you were trying to make, trying to distract you.

He didn’t want to talk about Bruce. And that only made you want to press the point harder.

“Why?” You asked, trying not to fall victim to the feeling of Jason’s soft lips against your neck, lovingly sucking, moving with gentle kisses against your skin.

“‘Why’ what?” Jason replied - perhaps playing dumb, perhaps genuinely not knowing what you meant.

“Why won’t you talk to Bruce?” You asked, clarifying.

Jason sighed and leaned back against his pillow, collapsing with defeat.

After a moment of tense, thoughtful silence - a moment in which you worried that you had pushed too far and he would simply tell you to get out - he finally gave in to the fact that he would have to talk about it. He gave in to the idea that talking to you about it would be easier than not talking about it at all.

“He wants me to go back to Gotham.” Jason announced.

He sounded oddly sullen speaking these words, which instantly confused you. You knew that Jason from a few weeks ago would have jumped at the chance to go back to Gotham, to resume his duties as Robin. He would have screamed with joy and eagerly asked Bruce when the next flight out was.

So why was he hesitant now? Did it have to do with the incident with Deathstroke? Did he doubt his capabilities as Robin now? Did he want to quit?

“You don’t want to?” You asked, trying to sound gentle rather than accusatory.

Jason found it all too easy to open up to you now.

“I don’t know what I want.” Jason shrugged, entirely raw and honest in this declaration - for once, not dancing around his more serious emotions with jokes or sarcasm. “I mean, before, I would have been excited for Bruce to invite me back. But now…”

“This is probably for the best.”

You said, trying to motivate him past his potential insecurities. Before it was something you had done with playful combatance, knowing that if you faced him with a challenge, he would always rise to prove himself, even if it was out of spite. And now it was something you did with brutal, soft honesty, but still, it was nothing new for you.

“The Tower was just supposed to be a temporary stop-over, right?”

You posed, reaching out and gently brushing your fingers across his jaw. He stared into your eyes then, and you saw something swimming there - nerves. Longing.

“Gotham needs Robin.”

You repeated it because it was something you had heard Jason say before.

One of the main reasons he took up the mantle of Robin, taking on someone else’s costume and name, rather than creating his own - was because he knew that lots of lost kids looked up to Robin. When he was a young kid, growing up in the shittest parts of Gotham, he admired Robin. He had been truly thrilled to meet Dick for the first time because, in a world where he was starving and alone and none of the adults in his life cared - Robin was his hero. Someone (seemingly) not much older than himself, who donned a cape, didn’t have any superpowers or magic, and got to stand alongside the Bat himself, fighting for justice. A voice for the voiceless. A fist for the powerless.

Jason went to bed cold and hungry many nights thinking about Robin. Thinking about how one good person can make a difference in a cruel world.

So when he had been given the opportunity to make up some dumb name of his own, or to become Robin - it wasn’t really a choice for him. He became Robin in order to be that symbol of hope for others, and in truth - to fulfill the hope he once needed for himself.

“Right.” Jason sighed. He did have a duty to the people of Gotham. But something else was bothering him. “But… but what about us?”

Us.

He said it so fondly, like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to think of you and him as a pair.

It was the first time either of you had truly acknowledged it. Finally acknowledging the way your dynamic had changed since that night. Otherwise, it had been absolutely unspoken.

“What about us?” You echoed back, your voice trembling quiet.

You were truly afraid to hear his answer.

‘Say it.’ You wanted to scream at him. ‘Say the words. Stop making me think that all of this has been just big one big hallucination on my part. Say it, asshole. Say it and I’m yours for the rest of your life.’

“Come on.” He sighed, flickering off towards the wall and refusing to look at you now, the words grating against his throat.

‘Are you really gonna make me say it?’ He wanted to scream. ‘How much I fucking love you? How I can’t leave here now because I can’t leave you? How I would quit being Robin if it meant getting to be with you?’

The air trembled with the might of all those unspoken words as Jason gathered a better, more guarded reply.

“The Tower was supposed to be a stop-over. At first.” He shrugged, still distinctly refusing to look at you. “But then… we… happened.”

He explained it clumsily, clearly stuck for words in that entirely emotionally constipated way, motioning vaguely between the two of you. Once again, he was refusing to acknowledge the thing going on between the two of you. He was refusing to put those exact, big, serious words on it. Afraid that the weight of it all would knock him over, swallow him whole if he wasn’t careful.

But his lack of words bothered you so damn much.

Was it a casual relationship? Was it sex? Was it love? Was it the two of you finding your life-long soulmates and being too traumatized and stubborn and stupid to actually acknowledge it?

You hummed in agreement of this, nodding.

“You shouldn’t stay just for me, though.” You told him.

His duties as Robin were important. Mending his relationship with Bruce was important. Far more important than having sex with you and training for whatever vague threat Dick had in mind (especially when Dick couldn’t stand up and protect Jason from very real threats, like Deathstroke).

Jason’s face cracked with a flutter of disappointment and sadness, a rattle of emotions coming through that he usually wouldn’t show around anybody else. He thought that you were breaking things off with him - whatever things were. But that wasn’t the case.

“I might have to leave soon anyway.” You added on, trying to clarify your point.

“You’re leaving?” He asked, sounding entirely hurt by this, the words acting as a bitter accusation coming off his lips.

He held in the other thing he wanted to say.

‘Where else would you have to go?’

He was trying to be more thoughtful with his words these days - and he knew this sounded far too much like a dig, mocking at the circumstances of your past. A past which you had divulged to him in bits and pieces while laying in bed with him after a healthy fuck, much like this.

When he had found out how similar the two of you were, he found his soul more and more drawn to yours. Your mother had been a deadbeat, much like his. Apparently she came from some richie rich family that you had only met a few times, when you were so young that you could only piece together a few memories from it, but she left behind all of it to be with her deadbeat boyfriend - someone who may or may not have been your father. Someone who got your mother hooked on drugs and petty crime to pay for the habit when your rich grandmother cut her off from the family money, knowing the kind of life she was living.

You grew up a lot like Jason did.

You saw your mother faded, abused, you had been forced to mature up and take care of yourself and even take care of your own mother when you had been far too young to do so. You had lived in slums. At many points in your life, you had been homeless.

You never had a real father to speak of, and when your mother overdosed, you were left abandoned when you were still a young teen. But you took care of yourself well enough, especially considering that you had an advantage that Jason didn’t - icy powers from a freak accident that happened around the time you were born that should have killed you.

It was only by luck that you ran into Dick and Kory when they came into the diner that you had been waiting tables at, whispering harshly under their breath about a young girl with severe, mysterious powers that they had lost track of. And you had pointed them toward the old Caulder house on the edge of town and offered to go with them - because you knew Niles Caulder from a time when he had offered to ‘help’ you with your own powers and you had gotten a bad feeling about the man.

Jason called it luck because it was that incident that led you on the path to meeting him.

“I’m only going for a little while.” You told him. “My grandmother - the one I’ve only seen like? Twice? Apparently she hired a P. I. to track down my mom. Found out my mom was dead, and then eventually - she found me. She’s getting sentimental because she has brain cancer or something? I didn’t read everything in the letter.”

You shrugged, spotty on the information and unsure if the trip you had planned was even a good idea in the first place.

Jason easily understood why you were jaded when it came to the concept of ‘family’. You had been abandoned by them and left alone in the world. You had raised yourself, essentially. Why would you need them now?

“She wants me to come and see her - something about deathbed remorse and blah, blah. I don’t know. I wasn’t gonna go, but Dick thinks I should, because she’s like the only living family I have that I know about.” You finished the explanation with a sigh, and Jason frowned.

Of course Dickhead was being righteous about his moral code.

Jason wanted to convince you to stay, but - maybe Dick had a point. Maybe, if you had a shot at having a relationship with your ‘real’ family - maybe you should take it.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Jason had no clue why it was his first instinct to offer this. But it felt right. It felt instinctive to attempt to comfort you these days, rather than combating you or coming up with some annoying, clever comeback.

You should have said yes.

It would have been fun at the very least; an amusing trainwreck, perhaps. You could only imagine what it would be like - bringing your mouthy situationship along with you to visit your rich, uptight, estranged grandmother. Even just explaining the nature of your relationship with Jason to her would have been a wild and fun ride.

But instead, you let your guarded instincts get the better of you.

“No.” You sighed. “I - I can handle it myself.”

You sounded a lot less sure in your reply, but you made yourself sure as you continued.

“If she gets too whiny, or too… sentimental, I’ll bail. I know that Dick or Kory would come and get me if I asked them to. And I am very good at running from situations that don’t benefit me.” You tried to laugh it off, though this did evoke some painful memories of your past, when you had to run from things that very well could have ended your life - or worse.

“You also have a habit of running toward situations that don’t benefit you.” Jason sighed, not letting you easily forget the fact that you ran into a gun-hot hostage situation and dangled yourself off a building to rescue him.

You lightly smacked his shoulder in response, and he quietly grunted at this, rolling his eyes.

“I can handle myself. Dickhead.” You replied, much less bite behind the words than there would have been before. “Besides, you have to go to Gotham and deal with your own sentimental old bag.”

“The last word I would ever use to describe Bruce is ‘sentimental’.” Jason argued gently.

“He keeps a trophy room full of stuff from every criminal he’s ever taken down,” You reminded Jason. “It’s his own form of weird, fucked-up sentiment.”

Jason shrugged.

You laid back down, tucking yourself into Jason’s side and laying a few simple kisses against the skin of his chest before you settled in, closing your eyes. He wrapped his arm around you, and there was only a moment of quiet before -

“What are you gonna do after you visit your grandmother?” He asked, so entirely timid. “Are you gonna come back to The Tower?”

‘Will I ever see you again?’ He wanted to ask. ‘Is it really over between us?’

Jason couldn’t imagine not having you around.

You were the tape that had held him together after everything went down with Deathstroke. When the Titans went south, ruined by Dick’s lies and the pressure of enemies from their past, you were the brick wall that had held him up. If not for you, he could have easily imagined himself drowning in booze, crashing his motorcycle off the side of a cliff in a drunken blur; or jumping off the top of this incredibly impressive building to make himself nothing but a stain on the concrete below.

You hesitated, but worked up the courage to truly speak what was waiting on your lips, especially when you weren’t looking at his face, tracing every micro-expression for potential disappointment or glee.

“I could come to Gotham.” You whispered, barely letting your words break into audible sound. When Jason took too long to reply, you rushed to add on something else, to make your proposal seem less serious. “I guess I could come see that stupid cave you’re always talking about.”

Jason laughed at this, and you loved the feeling of the vibrations under the side of your face.

“Yeah.” He said. “Sounds cool. I - I think Bruce would actually like having you around.”

You wondered if that was true, or if Jason was just amplifying his own affection for you within his mind. Either way, it was sweet.

You ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Jason’s gentle breathing flowing through his lungs under your cheek soothed you into an easy sleep - when you woke up, you were reminded of the drying mess between your thighs and wicked soreness that had set into your muscles. You needed a hot shower, and you needed to go pack a bag. You had to tell Dick that you wanted to book the ticket to go and see your grandmother.

Knowing him, he likely already had one booked on the principle that you would come around to his line of thinking and he would end up being right.

You were crawling out of bed when Jason’s hand caught your wrist.

“You sneakin’ away on me?” He mumbled out, sleepy, not yet opening his eyes.

“I gotta go shower, dipshit.” You said, your voice gentle and chiding, no real force behind the words.

Jason gave you a sleepy smile.

“Come back afterwards.” He replied, clearly hoping for more cuddles - or more sex.

“I can’t.” You told him. “I have to get ready to leave. Remember?”

This caught his full attention, and he sat up abruptly, blinking his eyes open to catch a glimpse of you in the barely there, dim light. It was just before sunrise, the sky kissed hazy gray outside of the giant windows that lined his bedroom.

“You’re leaving so soon?” He asked, disappointment barely masked in his voice as he continued to grip your wrist.

“Yes.” You said, knowing that you were echoing that tone right back. “So… I guess this is goodbye?”

“Fuck you.” He replied, a harsh sigh from his lungs. He hurled the expletive at the concept of a goodbye with you. That was something he never wanted.

He tugged on your wrist and you were reeled in like a fish, walking around the bed toward his side. You tucked your butt tightly beside one of his thighs, sitting close to him, vowing that you would get up soon as he wrapped a thick arm around your waist.

He had the other arm across your chest, tucking his hand along your jaw and tilting your head toward him. You eased into the kiss with a small moan, enjoying the softness of his lips like a tree enjoys the sun. You soaked him up for a few long moments, and when you tried to pull back the first time, he held you there for just a bit longer.

If you had known that was going to be the last time you kissed him, you would have savored it more.

In a silent agreement - he finally let you go, and his eyes stayed glued to you as you got dressed enough to go down the hallway and then, you left out his bedroom door. His eyes lingered on the door for a few prolonged seconds after you did so, and then finally, he turned over again and fell back into an unpleasant sleep. One that felt fitful now that you weren’t in his bed.

…

Jason felt cold.

The room he was in - some mysterious, wall-off concrete place with no light - was freezing. And it wasn’t the pleasant kind of cool like the touch of your icy skin when you crawled into bed with him late at night. Or the shocking delightful kind of cold like when you played a prank on him, running your super-powered icy fingers up his back just to get a rise out of him.

No, this was a shocking, dead kind of cold.

This was the kind of cold that would bring death after a short period of time. It was the kind of cold that easily made his fingers and toes numb, and made him struggle against his binds - and it was only then that Jason realized he was tied up.

His arms were pinned behind his back and bound at the wrists - though he couldn’t tell with what. He couldn’t feel the texture of the binding through the thickness of his Robin uniform gloves in order to know how to best get out of it. Whether it was duct tape or rope, that would determine his next move, and he needed to make a move - fast.

His legs were free. That was a good sign. That would definitely be useful.

Before Jason could contemplate much more of this, a door that he hadn’t yet noticed off to his right burst open, creating a rush of light into the dull, dark room - a blinding moment where all he saw was shadows and movement. By the time his eyes had adjusted, a body was being thrown at his feet. Or rather, a very limp, fully alive person.

Deathstroke towered over this person, wearing his full gear, the armor thick and imposing, his silhouette blocking out nearly all the light that had just been let into the room.

Jason’s eyes flickered from him, to the person on the floor - purposefully stiffening his jaw in his best attempt not to show any fear.

His throat became dry and he held back a whimper of fright when he saw that the limp body on the floor was you.

Your hands were bound behind your back, too, and you were forced silent with a cloth gag in your mouth, tied tightly behind your head. But your eyes truly captured Jason’s attention the most. Beyond the scrapes and bruises that littered your cheeks, signs of pain that already made him ravenous with rage, more than eager to rip apart whatever was holding him back in order to tear Deathstroke to pieces just for daring to touch you - your eyes were full of pure terror.

Jason had never seen you like this before.

Right from the moment he had met you, you had been nothing but confident - a palace of strength, calm, cleverness that he wanted so badly to topple. It was why he flirted with you, argued with you. He wanted so badly to get under your skin, to see you rattled. It was only when the two of you had sex that he finally saw some wavering in that, finally saw you falling apart.

And eventually, it pushed away to something deeper, something softer - something that caused him to fall in love with you.

But he had never seen you afraid. That fear in your eyes, you silently screaming at him for help - it put his stomach in knots within seconds.

“It’s okay,” Jason rushed to assure you. He would get you out of this. “It’s gonna be okay, Y/N, I swear-”

Deathstroke let out a chuckle - one that sounded muffled, cold, robotic behind his mask.

“I can’t tell if you’re truly lying, following in the careless footsteps of your leader, or if you think that placating is the way to soothe someone in crisis.” He said, his tone entirely mocking. “There is no room for soothing here. Things most certainly will not be okay. Not unless you give me what I ask for,”

“What the fuck do you want, asshole?” Jason spit back bitterly, posturing, trying his best to seem big and strong when he felt so utterly weak, so small in those moments.

“Dick Grayson.” Deathstroke announced. “Tell me where he is, and I’ll let your little friend go.”

Jason hesitated.

When Deathstroke felt this, he continued.

“And if you don’t, I won’t hesitate to dispose of this pathetic excuse for a Titan.” He added on, giving you a harsh kick in the back with his heavy boot. You cried out in pain, and Jason’s insides jolted.

It was a move that made Jason want to scream, and make threats that he knew he couldn’t live up to.

He deeply feared what Deathstroke meant when he said ‘dispose of’.

“Is Grayson really that important to you?”

Jason began to panic, his eyes flickering from Deathstroke’s imposing shadow to your terrified face once again.

His brain felt scrambled. He searched, thought hard, concentrated, and somehow - came up empty. For some stupid reason, he had no clue where Dick was. The Tower, Gotham, Detroit - the fucking idiot could be anywhere. And something else nagged in the back of Jason’s mind - even if he did know where Dick was, why the fuck should he tell this asshole? Deathstroke only wanted to kill Dick. Why should it be Jason’s choice to trade one life for another?

And even if he did tell Deathstroke where Dick was, there was no promise that Deathstroke wouldn’t kill you anyway as soon as he had the information.

No - Jason could save you some other way.

There had to be another way, some other way to get out of this, something else-

“Tick tock.” Deathstroke said, rushing Jason’s answer.

“Fuck you!” Jason barked back instinctively, still panicked.

And it was that panic that cost him everything.

“Well…” Deathstroke hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose they truly didn’t teach Junior Robin anything, did they?”

In seconds, he could sense it - Deathstroke could see right through Jason. He knew that Jason didn’t know the answers to his questions. And even if he did - he wasn’t going to give up Dick. He had a strange sense of loyalty to the person who had shit on him and failed to help him time and time again.

Before Jason could come up with whatever magical solution he was hoping would come to him, Deathstroke reached down, fisted the shoulder of your shirt, and brought you up onto your knees with a surprising strength. You continued to look Jason in the eyes with an intense panic while the man reached for his belt, unsheathing a sword that glinted in the little bit of light.

When you heard the sound of the metal slicing through the air, your muscles quaked with fear and you tried to get away - but you were too weak against him.

It was too late.

“No, no!” Jason cried out in protest, having nothing else to do but watch on in horror and hope that his pitiful cries could somehow stop this, tearing harshly against the bonds holding his wrists in place. “No, fuck you! Stop it!”

It happened too quickly.

The sword appeared through the front of your stomach, coated in bright red blood, and you let out a scream of anguish through the gag. Then suddenly, you were being shucked off the blade, thrown away like you were nothing, tossed back to the floor in a puddle of your own blood, limp and near lifeless. Deathstroke turned and left the room without a single care, shutting the door behind him, shutting out all of the light, leaving Jason in cold darkness once again.

And it was only then that the ropes on his wrists somehow loosened, allowing him to break free and rush to your bleeding body - too late.

Too fucking late.

Jason grabbed you up in his arms, hoisting you onto his lap. He was empty with shock. He didn’t know how to feel. He hated the contrast of your cold flesh and the heat of the blood rushing out of you and quickly covering him.

“Y/N, Y/N, baby, look at me,”

He found himself sobbing, forcefully turning your face toward him with a gloved hand, tearing the gag out of your mouth - your lips scarily pale, more than they ever should be.

“Fuck, fuck!”

He couldn’t contain his screams of anguish when he pressed a cheek closer to your lips and felt the shallow nature of your breath.

You were dying, and it was all his fault. You were dying, and it was all his fault. You were dying, and-

Jason awoke in a cold sweat.

He was shaking, frantically looking around in the dark, soon to realize that he wasn’t locked in a concrete room with your bloody corpse - he was in his bedroom in Gotham. He was at home in the comfortable, cushy Wayne Manor.

He had been having far too many nightmares since returning to Gotham. He wanted to blame it on your lack of presence in his bed, or the fact that Bruce had practically banned him from training, now that he was benched from being Robin. So he wasn’t getting nearly as much physical exercise as he used to and it left him anxious and not nearly as physically exhausted when he went to bed, making his sleep uneasy.

Bruce had suggested sleeping pills, but Jason hated the idea of the side effects. The potential of hallucinations didn’t seem like it would make his sleep any more pleasant.

Jason sat up on the edge of his bed, and turned on the lamp, wincing as the bright light prodded at his eyes, aggravating a headache he had that wouldn’t quit for days now. He reached for his phone, and almost unconsciously, brought up your contact.

He laughed when he saw the contact name you had given yourself - clearly something you had done as a joke right before you had left the Tower.

Bootycall Temporarily Unavailable

The two of you often changed each other’s names in your contacts as a joke. He guessed that this one was a joke about how you would be gone for a while, unable to fuck him. But he hated that you insisted that he still thought of you only as a Bootycall. He decided to change it to ‘Robin’s Ice Machine’ - one of his favourites, and what he kept you listed as in his contacts most often. (Even though he wasn’t sure if he was actually considered Robin anymore…)

He opened up his last text messages with you, and couldn’t help but smile when he re-read them.

He had sent you a simple ‘u up?’ around three o’clock in the morning, being sleepless and horny, and you had replied ‘don’t come in here with that fuckboy attitude unless you’re bringing snacks’.

And this had led to the two of you having the most amazing sex and eating junkfood afterwards. That was what he missed most about you. Simple nights. The ability to just be calm with you. Doing nothing with you and feeling so complete.

Jason began typing out a message.

‘I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I-’

Then, he realized how terribly sappy and stupid it sounded. And he thought about how much you would hate it. And even if you didn’t hate it, surely you would have no clue how to respond. The two of you weren’t like that. You weren’t those kind of people. He heaved a sigh, deleted the message, and then he got out of bed. He changed into some jogging pants and a sweatshirt and put on some running shoes.

If Bruce was going to ban him from being Robin, the least he could do was go on a run to get his head straight.

While he jogged through the cold night, Jason tried to convince himself that he didn’t need you. Tried to tell himself that if you decided not to come to Gotham after all, he would be just fine.

When he was finished with his run, standing at the kitchen counter chugging some way-too-expensive vitamin water that Bruce liked to buy, he pulled out his phone again and pulled up your contact. He considered calling you, and wondered what you were doing right then. He wondered if you would answer. He looked up what time it was in San Francisco, remembered you weren’t there, and then considered texting Gar to ask where you actually were - and then he went and took a long shower so he wouldn’t be able to touch his phone at all for a while.

…

When Jason went back to Gotham, Bruce made him go to therapy.

Jason thought that the entire thing was a colossal waste of time, but Bruce insisted that if he was ever going to wear the Robin mask again - he was going to get ‘cleared’ first.

Apparently, something about being kidnapped by a murderous psychopath, dropped off a building, and going to a funeral all in the span of a month doesn’t really scream of stability.

Jason was weary of Leslie at first.

He genuinely thought that her only job was to dig around for his secrets - any signs of his weakness, and report them back to Bruce. He still wasn’t all too trusting when she tried to assure him that whatever she said would stay between the two of them. But he wanted to get back to being Robin. He wanted to get back to doing his job. And if getting all mushy with her was the fastest way of doing that, then he would.

…

They were playing the stupid word association game again.

“Mother.” Leslie said, posing the first word.

“Fucker.” Jason said upon instinct, doing what he did best - deflecting from being too vulnerable by using crude humor.

Leslie gave him a deep frown, and he actually felt a pang of guilt at disappointing her.

She was one of the only adults in his life that he had ever felt bad for disappointing. Not because she put too many expectations on him - but because she didn’t. Because she expected pretty much nothing of him, and he wanted to show her that he could be great. He wanted to defy whatever bullshit Bruce had told her about him. He wanted to show her that he was more than worthy of being Robin again.

“Sorry.” He said timidly. “Habit.”

“It’s okay.” She said, forgiving him too easily. Jason wasn’t used to being forgiven.

Jason appreciated it - nobody had ever given him the chance to ‘try again’. Not even you. But he was glad about that. When you mocked him for his mistakes or called him out on his bullshit, it made him want to try harder. You were the only person in the world that he found himself actively trying for. Everyone else - he didn’t give a fuck what they thought of him. He knew that they always had preconceived notions of what he was - a screw-up, a street kid pretending while waltzing around in Robin’s costume.

But when you looked at him, you saw an asshole trying to be clever and you tore right through that persona, looking for something real. So even though he hated it - even though it made him wiggle and gape like a fish on land - he showed you more and more real parts of himself. And he couldn’t deny how good it made him feel when he was with you.

So, practicing the honesty that you had forced him to find within himself, Jason tried a more honest approach to Leslie’s word game.

“We can try again.” Leslie said, taking a small breath. “Mother.”

“Gone.” He said, announcing the first thing that truly came to mind when he thought of that word.

“Father.” Leslie moved on to the next word.

“Bruce.” Jason felt far too naked and vulnerable when saying this, but it was true.

Bruce was the closest thing to a father that he ever had.

And Jason knew that he was a bad son, constantly disappointing him - constantly failing to live up to the giant shadow that Dick had left behind.

“Robin.” She said.

“Freedom.” He easily responded.

“San Francisco.”

Jason felt like she was cheating at this point - trying to get him to weep and cry and spill all of his secrets like some kind of soap opera. He felt like she was purposefully pitching hits at his weak spots and waiting for him to block or be taken down.

“Mistake.” He said, trying his hardest not to flex back on his honesty.

He wasn’t even sure what he meant by that. If going there had been a mistake, or if he had made too many mistakes while he was there. Either way, it felt like the truth.

“Safe.” She announced the next word, and Jason was not at all surprised by the first thing that came to mind.

“Y/N.” He said your name without hesitation.

You were the only safe thing in his life. The only thing - the only person that ever truly made him feel safe. Sometimes he was terrified of losing you, or hurting you, or poisoning you as badly as he had done with so many other people. But when he was in your arms, it was so easy to forget about all of that.

You were safe.

Which was a fucking rare commodity in his life.

Leslie saw the look that came across his features - the look of fond longing mixed with gut wrenching fear. Naturally, she wanted to dig more into this. She knew that someone like Jason hadn’t grown up feeling safe, and she was curious why the concept of safety came to him now as a person’s name - and why he seemed so conflicted about it, about someone he had never even mentioned before.

“Who is Y/N?” Leslie asked. Jason didn’t immediately answer, so she prodded more. “Boyfriend? Girlfriend? … Friend?”

Leslie didn’t presume to know Jason’s sexuality, or the gender of his special person (and she wouldn’t judge him, no matter what he said) - but beyond gender, for Jason, it was even more complicated than that.

Jason didn’t know what to call you when speaking about you to someone else.

A friend that he sometimes fucks? Should he even call you a friend?

You had tried to save his life, but before that, the two of you had never really been friendly. Mostly argumentative. But no matter how much the two of you argued, you had never hurt him the way that Dick had, or Bruce had. Or even the way that the other Titans had when they had accused him of all those things he hadn’t done.

Your arguments were playful. The two of you never said anything to each other that would actually dig deep, that was ever truly meant to hurt. Nothing like when the Titans had doubted Jason’s loyalty to the team - had accused him of truly trying to harm them. Your arguments with him always held a certain kind of passion. Every time you fired back against dumb shit that he said, even if you were blatantly disagreeing with him for sport - it meant that you cared.

Jason shrugged. “Kind of.”

“Can you… explain more?” Leslie asked, careful and curious.

“Shit’s complicated.” Jason mumbled, truly unsure what to say in order to describe the situation.

“Okay, well… whoever this special person is, whatever they mean to you… why is it that they make you feel safe?”

Now that was a million dollar question.

Jason had never really asked himself that before. The ‘why’.

“Well…”

He began trying to explain it, and found himself stuck for words. But Leslie was patient, and waited for him to find the right ones.

“It’s like…” Jason sighed, finding the whole thing very difficult. “It’s like Y/N knows what I am.”

“‘What you are’?” Leslie parroted back, using his own phrasing carefully. “And what would that be?”

“An asshole. Ya know - a fuck-up.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Y/N has seen it first hand. They know me - they - they’ve seen all the worst parts of me, and… somehow, they don’t care. Y/N saw me at my worst and didn’t run.”

It was the best way that Jason could think to describe it. Everyone else who had seen him beaten down and broken - Dick, Bruce, the other Titans - they all saw him at his worst and wanted to dump him at the first possible opportunity. But you held onto him tighter and refused to let go. Even when he struggled in your loving hold like an animal caught in a trap - you still held onto him tighter than anyone else ever had.

And it made him feel a little less broken each time that he was with you.

“Okay.” Leslie smiled. “So - you find safety in not being judged? In… being allowed to be messy?”

“Yeah.” Jason nodded.

“Well, that’s perfectly normal.” She told him.

Jason found an odd sense of relief in this. There wasn’t a lot that was normal in his life.

“A lot of great relationships - whether they are friendships, or something more-”

Jason resisted the urge to speak up and say that you and him were definitely in the ‘something more’ category, but he didn’t want to jinx it. Not when it was yet to be official.

“-are founded on the truth. Founded on two people coming together because they find safety in being allowed to be their most authentic self with the other person. Feeling that they can make mistakes without being judged.” She explained this to him gently, and Jason couldn’t stop thinking about you. “So if you have that with someone, you should embrace it. Embrace that feeling of safety.”

Jason definitely had that with you. Or - he had the start of that with you. And he wanted so badly to embrace. To see where a life with you would go. Maybe it was something he wanted even more badly than becoming Robin again.

Ultimately, Jason knew that he wanted to be loved, even at his worst. But he thought that even you weren’t capable of that. Nobody was.

“Next word.” Leslie looked back down at her list. “Fear.”

Jason didn’t take long with that one either.

“Y/N.”

Leslie looked utterly confused at this one.

But - he was too raw, and he ended the session before she could prod him to explain it further.

…

Jason was afraid that he wasn’t good enough for you.

He was afraid that if the time ever came, if you were ever in danger - he wasn’t going to be able to save you like you had tried to do for him. Thinking back on it, he had no clue how you had so boldly stepped into the line of fire, how you had dangled yourself out of a window that many stories high, desperately holding onto him.

You acted fearless, put yourself on the line just to save his life - ultimately, one that wasn’t worth saving.

And if he couldn’t do the same for you, then he wasn’t worth the risks you had taken for him at all.

It was this mindset that brought him to visiting Crane in prison. He worked hard to reverse manufacture the Fear Gas, wanting to be brave for you - not knowing that it would ultimately be his downfall.

…

Going to your grandmother’s house was certainly… interesting.

She was rich. Old money rich.

It was the type of wealth you had encountered very sparsely in your life. Initially, you had only met that type of rich person for the first time when you had met Dick - someone who drove a vintage Ashton Martin and said it was a ‘family heirloom’, yet thought nothing of trading it in for a minivan on a whim.

When you first moved into the Tower - a million dollar condo with advanced tech that you could barely comprehend at first, you didn’t easily feel comfortable among all of the shiny, lavish, modern furniture and the fancy touchscreens just to access everyday necessities. At the time, you had still been sporting an illegally jailbroken iPhone 6 that you had pickpocketed off some random guy a few years prior, and soon as Dick found out about that fact, he insisted on buying you a new phone that you had a very difficult time accepting because you were not at all good with gifts or ‘being spoiled’. You felt awkward accepting something that you hadn’t worked for.

It was one of the reasons that you so easily crumbled to Jason’s sexual advances.

You felt so fucking alone when you first started living in the Tower. Your queen sized bed with a brand new mattress and brand new sheets felt too big. Being so new, it felt too cold. Sometimes you went stir-crazy, thinking about how much the silverware in the kitchen cost and the fact that the fucking television had an ipad for a remote (which apparently also controlled the curtains and the lights in the living room) - fixating on how if you had pawned those things off, if could have fed so many hungry children.

At the time, you were desperate for a distraction. Jason became a very easy one to fall into. It was all too easy to fall asleep in his bed afterwards, because even if you hated the smell of Axe body wash and drying cum, sleeping beside someone, having a warm body at your back - it eased you so much more than sleeping in a big luxurious bed by yourself.

Your grandmother’s house was a different type of rich than the Tower was. Most definitely not modern; everything in her house was about as old as things can get - but still rich. It seemed that she was blatantly against technology, in fact. She didn’t seem to have a TV anywhere in the place, and all the phones were corded into the walls like it was the 80s, and she often mocked you for being so ‘obsessed’ with that ‘brick’ in your pocket (checking, looking for Jason’s calls or texts).

All of the furniture was far older than you, and well taken care of. Polished, the fabric clearly patched or reupholstered by professionals in places where it had worn down over time. She was the nick-nack type. Tall china cabinets full of fancy dishes with patterns on them, and the moment she caught you looking at them, she went on long winding stories about how the pieces were rare antiques that had been owned by some Duke from some place in Europe - again, something more expensive than you could comprehend or even really care about.

Like it had said in the letter, your grandmother had brain cancer.

She had a large tumor that was eventually going to kill her. Apparently money can buy a lot of things - but it can’t buy a miracle treatment. The tumor had invaded too much of her brain before it had been discovered, and operating on it at her age was more likely to mean death than recovery. And as she so gracefully put it, she would rather spend her last days ‘in grace and dignity’ than to be balding and ‘out of her mind’ - so she didn’t accept the only potentially helpful chemo treatment that was offered to her.

Apparently, one of her last wishes was to meet and spend time with the grandchild that she had ‘lost’ when your mother took you away all those years ago. Your grandmother seemed nice enough - she peppered you with cheek kisses and invited you to tea the moment that you came in through the door. She had even sent a limo to pick you up at the airport, which made you feel far too important and awkward, sitting alone in the back of the expensive vehicle with a classical music station playing that you felt too intimidated to attempt to change.

And although your paranoid instincts were waiting for some horror movie reveal, waiting for someone to drug you and tell you that she was going to perform some voodoo ritual on you in order to use your young, healthy body to keep living her life and that’s all she wanted you for - you stuck around. Because the longer you waited with baited breath, the less that seemed to be the case.

If the old woman wanted to spend her last weeks of life telling you winding stories about old dishes from Europe and drinking tea with you on her porch, then you would consider it a much needed vacation. You would simply sit down and listen.

…

“And you know, her granddaughter, she was a - a handmaiden for the Duchess of Yorke, and…”

When you looked over at your grandmother, she had fallen asleep mid-sentence, holding her tea cup at an odd angle that made the small amount of tea inside almost dribble out. Though she had been talking just a moment before, telling a long, winding story about the history of the vase holding the flowers in the middle of the table - she let out a deep snore, and you worried that she was going to drop her cup or spill tea in her lap.

Strangely, after such a short period of time being around her, you found yourself caring for the woman.

You put down your own cup and crept over to her, trying not to wake her, and gently wriggled the cup out of her hands to place it down on the table.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when your phone buzzed in your back pocket. When you realized what the sudden, frightening feeling was, you took a deep breath and calmed down. Your grandmother had asked you to turn it off and leave it in your room, a luxurious guest room that she had you staying in, but you couldn’t help yourself. You missed Jason and you were eagerly waiting to talk to him. You didn’t want to miss a potential call or text from him.

You made sure that your grandmother was sleeping peacefully (in the oddly upright position as it was) before you took out your phone and sat back in your own chair, looking to see who had texted you.

New message from The Flightless Bird

Yes, Jason had a very strange contact name in your phone. For a while, you had kept it as Hot Guy, as it had originally entered it, before changing it to (Not) Hot Guy as a joke. Then, when the two of you started living at the Tower, it became a running gag for you to steal each other’s phones whenever possible and change the contact name to something strange and odd, usually paired with a memey photo to jokingly represent the other person.

After the incident where he had free fallen from the building to his near death, he had changed his contact name in your phone to ‘The Flightless Bird’ - a terrible bit of dark humor. You loved it, and you had kept it since then.

Right before you had left for your flight out, you had snuck into his room and grabbed his phone while he had been sleeping, and changed your contact name in his phone from ‘Cold Hands, Hot Ass’ to ‘Bootycall Temporarily Unavailable’. Mostly because you didn’t need him sending you dickpics at three in the morning when he got bored. As much as you loved his cock, you thought about how weird it would be trying to get off in your grandmother’s house and Jason was so damn persistent and so damn tempting.

You did have to wonder what PG-13 texting would be like between the two of you. It had been incredibly rare. All of your text conversations before living together at the Tower were R-rated enough to send anybody who read them into a mental meltdown.

Before you could wonder if you should send him a message, making it clear that he wasn’t to pull any of his typical fuckboy antics, you opened his latest message, and a large smile ripped across your face.

The Flightless Bird: ‘I miss you like hell.’

You hated that you grinned uncontrollably and your stomach flipped like a teenager with a stupid crush, but you couldn’t help it. Jason just made you feel like that these days. Even just knowing that he had been missing you too - that he had been thinking about you. That was something that had you floating as you typed out your reply, trying not to seem too desperate in your response.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘Gotham must be really boring if you miss hanging out with me.’

You sent back the simple message and opened another app, browsing while you waited for his reply, trying not to seem too eager.

Moments later, your phone buzzed again.

The Flightless Bird: ‘Gotham is Gotham. It’s always been a boring shithole. The only time it’s not boring is when some fucker in a mask is trying to kill everyone.’

So very Jason. Before you could reply, he sent another message.

The Flightless Bird: ‘Plus, it’s not just hanging out with you that I miss. ;)’

Leave it to him to make even a virtual wink look so incredibly sleazy. Somehow, it brought up fond feelings within you because you had missed him so much.

You resisted the urge to tell him to cool it. Especially because your grandmother was sitting at the table with you. But you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea and start sending his cock out of nowhere.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘Oh, you make it sound so appealing for me to visit.’

Then you quickly added on:

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘Dealing with homicidal psychos in costumes and you nagging me for a dick appointment. You on the Gotham tourism board?’

It was only a moment before your messages were seen, and you could practically hear Jason’s dry laughter in response, even though he was so far away. You felt validated when he sent you back several laughter emojis and then quickly typed out another message.

The Flightless Bird: ‘I am, actually. First stop on the tour - my bed. Second stop - night patrol. We spend a few hours kicking ass together. Which leads into our third stop - Little Tony’s downtown for some pizza. Aka the only reason I keep coming back to this shithole.’

You couldn’t help but to grin at the thought of it. You resisted the urge to hide your face in your hands, almost embarrassed at just how cheek-splitting your smile was - waiting for someone to call you out on it.

Your imagination ran away with you, and you couldn’t help but to feel warm, thinking about yourself living out his ideal day in Gotham. Being warm in his arms again, feeling his touch all over your body. Getting thoroughly fucked and only leaving his bed when the call of those in need beckoned you both to action.

You soon began picturing yourself in some spandex costume - something you didn’t yet have and made fun of Jason for wearing so often, perhaps slightly out of jealousy because he actually got the importance of a title and a suit and you didn’t yet have either. You imagined yourself in something themed around a hero name with an ice pun to suit your powers, kicking ass beside Jason while he proudly carried the mantle of Robin. The two of you taking down criminals like a perfectly paired team and topping off your night with pizza from a familiar place that Jason praised.

You began typing again.

… Robin’s Ice Machine is typing ….

‘You wanna make it a date, Jay?’

But you feared that it would sound too forward. That he was simply joking about all of it and you would seem too eager. So you deleted that message before you sent it and typed out something else instead.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘You brave the streets of downtown Gotham just for pizza?’

The Flightless Bird: ‘It’s worth it.’

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘I guess they probably give Robin the hero discount.’

You typed out the message and sent it without thinking.

You had been so absorbed in your own world over the past few weeks that you had no clue that Robin hadn’t been active on the streets of Gotham for a while. You hadn’t checked the news or hadn’t thought to check in with the biggest Robin fan you knew (Gar) to ask for updates.

But ever since Jason had gotten back to Gotham - Robin hadn’t seen a night of patrol, his costume quarantined away in the Batcave like Bruce considered him some kind of disease.

The Flightless Bird: ‘I wouldn’t know.’

You found this reply to be confusing, but waited patiently while Jason typed out more.

The Flightless Bird: ‘Bruce has me benched. He said I’m not allowed to take on Robin again until I get “cleared” by a fucking shrink. Like I’m a fucking war vet or something. He’s acting like I jumped off that building on purpose or some shit.’

You wanted to remind him that in a sense, he did. That he had begged you to let him go because he hadn’t thought that he was worth saving. But you didn’t want to rub salt into the wounds. Instead, you felt curious about his words and hoped that he wouldn’t clam up if you went prodding.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘Bruce has you seeing a shrink?’

You were more than tense with curiosity at this point. More than anything, you wondered if it was actually helping Jason, or if he was just going through the motions, trying to please Bruce.

The Flightless Bird: ‘Yeah. Someone named Leslie. Wants me to talk about my feelings and be vulnerable and all that type of bullshit.’

For once, this was something that Bruce had done that actually gave you hope for Jason’s future.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘Maybe it’s not a bad idea.’

… The Flightless Bird is typing …

The typing bubbles appeared at the top of the screen a few times and then disappeared, indicating that Jason had read your message and was unsure about what to say in reply. Your stomach twisted up and you hated it. You hated to think that you might have insulted him.

Finally, after a few long moments, he sent something back.

The Flightless Bird: ‘Do you think I’m crazy?’

There it was. He was terrified that you thought he was broken. That because he had to go to therapy - it meant he was weak. That’s probably what Bruce thought. Or why he feared that he had been benched from being Robin.

You carefully chose your words as you replied.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘I don’t know.’

You easily sent in a single message, and he read it quickly. And then, you moved on to adding more, clarifying your words.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘I don’t know if you’re crazy or not, and I don’t care.’

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘I know that you’re kind of fucked up - but so am I. And I don’t want to spend my time around anyone else because your kind of fucked up matches my fucked up really perfectly, and nobody else understands me like you do.’

You sent the messages, and then thought of something important to add.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘There is no normal well adjusted person in the world who would understand me like you do. Fuck normal people.’

(On the other end, Jason grinned and sighed with relief when he read these messages.)

The Flightless Bird: ‘Yeah. Fuck normal people.’

Jason easily echoed back the sentiment, and then he said something that you weren’t entirely expecting.

The Flightless Bird: ‘This therapy bullshit has got me thinking about a lot of things.’

You resisted the urge to make a ‘don’t hurt yourself’ joke - but you knew that he was sensitive, and you should encourage him to open up rather than make jokes. It was something that a version of yourself from a few months ago would have done without hesitation, but you absolutely knew that things between you and Jason had changed. Hopefully, for the better.

While you were mulling that over in your head, Jason typed out another message.

The Flightless Bird: ‘I don’t think my place is with Bruce anymore.’

You were curious what he meant by this. Did he want to quit being Robin? Had he come to realize that everything Dick said about Bruce was actually true?

When that argument came up, multiple times, you were never sure whose side to choose. You had never known the man personally, but you did find it strange that Jason seemed to idolize him and Dick seemed to resent him like he was some kind of cartoon villain. If anything, it made you wary and cautious of Bruce.

Especially because you knew that Jason had been intensely dependent on Bruce when they first met - he had just aged out of foster care, and he had the ‘choice’ of being homeless or becoming Robin. And who would really make that choice when three square a day, a giant mansion, and a shining costume are staring you in the face? Especially after everything else Jason had been through - all the adults who had given up on him, told him he was nothing. Then he was being presented with the chance to truly be something, someone so damn important.

Again, before you could question him, Jason saw that you had read the message and moved to explain himself further.

The Flightless Bird: ‘When I was at the Tower, I thought that being away from him…’

The Flightless Bird: ‘I thought that not being Robin was a punishment. But now I know that it was really good for me. And not for the reasons he thinks - not because I was benched and focusing on training.’

The Flightless Bird: ‘I got to be away from Bruce. I got some distance from the way he made me think about myself - about Robin. I used to think that I was nothing without him. That I was just some bullshit street kid nobody and him picking me up and making me Robin was what MADE me something.’

Your heart ached reading this.

So that was why he idolized Bruce so much. He thought that he would be nothing without the old man. He didn’t see all of his own strength and determination that he put into Robin. He didn’t see all of his own bravery and resolute stubbornness.

The Flightless Bird: ‘Now I realize that I can be something without him.’

The Flightless Bird: ‘I know it sounds like sappy bullshit, but you’re the one who helped me realize that I am something without him. That I can be great - even without Robin.’

You re-read the message a few times over, those words clutching at your throat, nearly bringing you to tears. For a long time, a part of you thought that you weren’t good for Jason. That you were just another nagging force in his life, another negativity. Then - you thought that you were just something he used to fill the time, to distract from the mental noise, as you did with him. And even then, as you realized that you needed him in other ways, and you might be coming to love him - you thought that he would never feel the same about you.

You thought that you had been fighting a losing battle, trying to comfort someone who didn’t want it, or wouldn’t accept it. But reading those words, feeling the rawness of their honesty - it flowed through you and hit you with a radical force.

You actually helped him.

You thought he was too stubborn and hard-headed to get through to, but hearing it directly from him - that was nice. It was more than nice, it was… it shook you to your core.

Your phone vibrated in your hand again, and you realized that you had gone too long without responding.

The Flightless Bird: ‘Too much?’

Clearly he thought that he had frightened you off.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘Not too much.’

The Flightless Bird: ‘Good. So you won’t think it’s too much if I tell you that I’ve been looking at apartments?’

Wait - what?

You had barely finished reading the message before he sent you a screenshot of an online listing - a picture of some shady, broken-down building. When you glanced at the address, you were almost sure that it was in downtown Gotham.

You wanted to believe that Jason was joking. But from the general tone of the conversation, he didn’t seem to be. He was eager to get away from Bruce, to be out on his own.

Your stomach curled with warmth at the thought of you and Jason living together, and this time not because of some half-baked superhero team. But by choice. This time because you were… what? Friends? Lovers?

You armed yourself with humor as you replied.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘Jason, that’s downtown Gotham. It’s a shithole.’

The Flightless Bird: ‘Oh, living with rich grandmama has you getting used to the fancy pants lifestyle now? Shall I start looking at mansions with 500 acres and golden swimming pools?’

You let out a small chuckle at his joke. You could practically hear him reciting the words with a fake snooty accent to drive home his point, but you eagerly felt the need to correct him.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘Hey, I grew up in shitholes too. You know a lot of the time I didn’t even have a roof, Jay.’

The Flightless Bird: ‘Yes, and you slept on a bed of bricks and ate dirt for dinner. Oliver Twist ass. You’re the only person I know who grew up more poor than I did.’

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘The correct tense is: poorer.’

The Flightless Bird: ‘Yet you could afford grammar lessons? Damn.’

You couldn’t hold back a small bit of laughter at this. One of the things he hated most was you correcting his grammar, and you still found it highly amusing.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘My point is that all this fancy shit makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I can’t even sit down on the furniture at my grandmother’s properly.’

The Flightless Bird: ‘Grandmama will probably have it steam cleaned when you leave. To get the street rat smell out.’

The Flightless Bird: ‘Anyway, do you like the apartment or not?’

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘I don’t know. It looks… sketchy.’

The Flightless Bird: ‘It is. It’s a sketchy ass neighborhood.’

You started typing out a reply full of protests against this, wondering why he would want the two of you to live in a place that was full of drug dealers and other crime, but he beat you to it with another message - and when you read it, your heart warmed.

The Flightless Bird: ‘But - I thought me and you could help keep it safer.’

You grinned widely at this again.

You resisted the urge to correct his grammar again, wanting to tell him the tense was ‘you and I’. He was truly onto something here and you didn’t want to ruin the moment for him.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘I’ll have to see it in person first.’

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘When I come to Gotham.’

You had no clue what stupid love bug had bitten you - but you were seriously agreeing to go view an apartment with Jason Todd. And you were more excited than anything else.

You finally resigned to the idea, feeling a certain kind of joy in making plans with him. You were entirely unfamiliar with the feeling of looking forward to the future. It was delightfully strange.

For the first time in your entire life, you felt giddy and optimistic for the future.

On the other end, Jason pumped an arm and cheered quietly to himself, knowing that he would hold you to the promise of coming to Gotham to visit him. Knowing that once he had you in town, he would somehow talk you into getting an apartment with him.

This was just the start of your life together. In his mind, this was just the first of many plans.

The Flightless Bird: ‘You could be on a plane tomorrow.’

The Flightless Bird: ‘I’ll pay for your ticket.’

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘You mean Daddy would?’

You knew Jason was rolling his eyes at this, and while he rushed to type out protests about Bruce being his ‘Daddy’, you corrected his initial thought.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘I can’t come tomorrow, anyway. My trip isn’t supposed to end for another week, at least.’

You didn’t want to tell him that you were getting attached to your grandmother, and you didn’t want to leave her yet. You thought he might mock you for developing those vulnerable familial attachments too quickly. And he would have been right.

The Flightless Bird: ‘Well, don’t take too long. I miss your stupid face.’

In your mind, the only proper response to this was to open your camera and take a picture of yourself - one crudely sticking your tongue out and flipping him off.

You sent it to him and received back several heart emojis.

The Flightless Bird: ‘Gorgeous as always, babe.’

Right then, Jason made that picture into his lockscreen.

You rolled your eyes, and bit your lip to suppress another stupid giddy smile.

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘And you’re a charming asshole, as always.’

Robin’s Ice Machine: ‘But I guess you’re mine.’

You sent the last part without much thought, feeling a twist in your gut when Jason read it and didn’t immediately reply. You stared at the screen for several long moments, waiting for something, wondering how he would react -

But then your attention was snapped away from your conversation with Jason when your grandmother let out a loud snort and woke from her nap.

“Playing with that brick again?” She said, sounding quite displeased.

Though you felt anxious, wondering if you had scared Jason away with your affection, you locked the screen and put the phone back into your pocket.

“Sometimes these ‘bricks’ can be useful.” You told her. “Maybe you should get one.”

You suggested it on the idea that you could communicate with her more easily once your trip was over, though you knew what her stance on the matter was. It didn’t hurt to try.

“Oh deary. I’d never want to strain my eyes looking at that. You know what they say - old dogs, and such.” She let out a small yawn. “Besides, I have heard they can give you cancer.”

You let out a snort of laughter. At least it was nice to know where your sense of dark humor came from.

…

Jason wasn’t sure why he did it.

Bruce told him not to. It should have been obvious that it was a trap. If history had anything to say about it - the Joker never made himself that obvious unless he wanted to get caught. Unless he was planning something and he wanted a lot of people to get caught up in the smoke.

Unless the Joker blatantly wanted attention, then he stayed hidden.

Maybe it was the Anti-Fear Gas. Maybe Jason needed to prove that he was brave. That he was good enough to take up the mantle of Robin again - even if he didn’t necessarily want it. Deep down, he needed to prove to himself that he was good enough for you. That he wasn’t just some broken bird that you needed to fix.

Jason thought the drug made him brave, but it probably just made him stupid. He thought this would be a good field test for it. But it just made his senses dull and useless to everything around him. It made him less aware of his surroundings, it blurred out all his fight or flight that nature intended.

When Bruce said that fear served him, he had no clue that this is what the old man meant.

The Anti-Fear Gas made perfect conditions for someone to sneak up on him.

He heard the cackling laughter - a sound coming from one of those stupid carnival machines, or from the Joker himself, he wasn’t sure - before he even realized what was going on. There was a bag over his head and some heavy, hazy drug forced under his nose.

He was stupid.

He thought he learned something from the incident with Doctor Light.

But it turns out that he was just as stupid as everyone accused him of being.

Because when he woke up, he was right back there. Tied to a chair. Confused. And when the Anti-Fear Gas started to wear off - he was scared. Utterly terrified. Just like he had been on that night.

Bruce was at some investors’ meeting halfway around the world. When Jason didn’t pick up his calls, didn’t answer his texts - he thought that Jason was still pissed off about the fight they had before he left. Bruce tried to give him distance. Without Alfred around to keep an eye on him, nobody reported Jason missing.

Nobody even noticed that he was gone.

…

When Jason stopped answering your texts, you got a horrible feeling in your gut.

The next time you looked at your phone, he had left you on read, and you had an utterly horrible feeling about it. Your stomach twisted over on itself, you became ripe with worry. You immediately wanted to cry to Dick about it, beg him to go searching for Jason’s tracker, or at the very least, call Bruce and ask to confirm where Jason was.

But technically - you had nothing to cry about.

Jason wasn’t your boyfriend. He didn’t owe you anything. Especially not his time. He didn’t owe you an immediate reply to your messages. He wasn’t supposed to be at your beckoned call like a loyal dog.

You had to guess that he got busy training. That he was angry with Bruce, so he was spending extra hours at the gym, working off that anger. Maybe he had doubled down on the apartment search and he was somewhere in downtown Gotham, looking at more shitholes where he didn’t have any service.

At the very worst, you thought maybe you had scared him off with your affection. You thought maybe he was finally realizing that he didn’t want that big, scary thing with you, and he was getting ready to run away from it. Maybe he was debating blocking your number so that he didn’t have to break-off this non-relationship with you.

Maybe he had met someone else.

You went over the possibilities - made yourself sick, wondering why he wasn’t answering you.

But you had never considered the most sickening possibility of them all.

…

As usual, the Joker had seemingly no aim with his chaos.

He took Jason to some random location. Tied him up, hit him. Some of the Joker’s goons came and went. The Joker talked about potentially setting Jason out as ‘bait’ for the Bat to come and get. Jason wanted to tell him that his precious Bat was out of town, but he couldn’t risk revealing Bruce’s identity if he divulged that information.

If that was the Joker’s plan - using Jason as bait - he waited a long time to get on with it.

He spent the interim torturing Jason in increasingly creative ways.

Jason watched the sun rise and fall three different times - through a tiny window in whatever place they were keeping him. When darkness fell on the fourth day, his eyes were becoming too swollen to see light anymore.

Jason tried not to flinch when he heard footsteps approaching.

Every single inch of Jason’s body ached - he was sure that he had fingers broken, an arm broken. Broken ribs. He had several missing teeth, and he was leaking blood freely into his mouth. If he did get out of this, he would be severely fucked up for the rest of his life.

But he had a feeling that the Joker wasn’t going to let him out of this.

A cold hand moved across his forehead, and instinctively, he flinched away from it. The Joker tutted his tongue, and other voices came - echoes of laughter in the room, goons he had brought along with him.

“So shy, Little Birdie.” The Joker’s voice mocked him. “You weren’t so shy when you came looking for me… in fact, you were eager then. Eager, eager, eager. Eager to play my games. But you don’t wanna play now, do you?”

Jason was exhausted. But he knew that he couldn’t give up. If he stopped fighting, then the Joker had won.

“Fuck you.” Jason said, fighting past blood flowing in his mouth, deflated, clearly tired.

But he was still fighting.

The Joker laughed.

Cruel. Harsh.

“Well, I’ll take that as a sign - game on!”

The Joker clapped his hands together above Jason’s head, loudly. Jason hated that he flinched. There was another round of laughter from the goons.

Jason expected that the ‘game’ would be something violent. Removing his fingers, having the goons take turns to hit him harder. Perhaps they would strap him to some kind of target and make up point values for his different limbs and then have a knife throwing contest around him.

But no.

It seemed that they were growing bored of physical violence.

Something that Jason hadn’t even thought of - an utterly terrifying possibility.

With his eyes out of commission, he was relying on his ears more. He heard a small click, a button being pushed - if he wasn’t mistaken, it was someone trying to wake the lockscreen of a phone. It was very close to his head.

“My, my, that is a pretty one.” The Joker teased.

Jason sucked in a sharp breath, causing a painful sting in his likely broken ribs as an even more painful realization hit him.

They had taken his phone. The Joker was talking about you.

He should never have made that picture of you into his lockscreen, you were too important, he had put you in danger -

“Tell me, does this pretty thing have a name?”

The Joker chuckled - Jason thought maybe the phone with your picture was being waved in front of his face, but he couldn’t quite see it.

“Oh wait! You can’t see it, can you?” The Joker seemed amused to remember this, his voice light and jaunty as the thought crossed his mind.

“Fuck you!” Jason spat out, much more energized now, refreshed with the might of protecting you - quite literally spitting blood, hopefully getting some on the clown.

The Joker simply let out another cackling laugh.

There was a ping. A text message coming in.

Let it be Bruce. Let it be Dick. Let it be Gar, for fuck’s sake. Anybody but you.

“You know, this friend of yours sends an awful lot of text messages.”

The Joker chuckled, putting emphasis on that word, clearly mocking Jason’s relationship status with you. Even with his psychotic mind, he could see that Jason loved you more than he cared to admit, and he was terrified to speak it aloud.

“‘Jason, I’m worried about you. Please text me back when you can. I know it’s stupid to be worried just cause I haven’t heard from you in a few days, but Gotham is a stupid shithole and I wanna know that you haven’t been eaten by a giant mutant crocodile or something.’”

Jason’s skin crawled when the Joker read a text from you aloud.

You were worried.

Jason was beaten, dying because of the consequences of his own stupid actions, and you were worried.

“Well, that’s almost sweet.” The Joker sniggered. “You’ve been ignoring these for days now! That’s rude!”

Another round of laughter from the goons.

Jason was then struck with the realization that because of his current situation - idiotically kidnapped, tied to a chair, beaten - he had been ignoring you for days. He had unintentionally caused you to worry, on top of everything else. He had hurt you.

Had you sent someone looking for him? Would he actually somehow get out of this? Was there a chance that he might actually be rescued?

“I think we should answer. Your sweet little friend deserves some closure - a load off the mind, you know.”

The Joker’s voice took on a menacing dark tone as he said this.

Jason’s insides clenched with horror. They had tortured him in almost every way imaginable - taken it as far as they could without actually killing him. They had inflicted all kinds of pain on his body. Now they were going to torture his mind.

They were pulling you into their game as a fucked up pawn.

“No!” Jason tried to weakly protest, but then, entirely against his will, came the sound of his phone unlocking. “Fuck you!”

He hadn’t put a password on it yet. It was relatively new - a present Bruce had gotten him when he had come back to Gotham. A bid to buy his affection. He hadn’t gotten around to putting a password on it yet.

Another stupid mistake.

Jason nearly lost his breath when he heard ringing. The Joker wasn’t just going to reply to your text messages - he was calling you.

Whatever happened to Jason next - whatever torture, whatever pain they inflicted upon him - they were going to make you listen.

…

One thing you had come to learn over the past week: rich people have a lot of peculiar habits.

Your grandmother would insist that you be there for afternoon tea at three o’clock sharp, and apparently having too much sugar in your tea was considered rude, because it was a reflection of the quality of the tea that the host had presented you with. She insisted that you ‘dress for dinner’ - which meant that you weren’t allowed to wear sweatpants at her formal dining table, and even ripped jeans were frowned upon. Also, sitting with your feet curled underneath you at the dining table caused her glare at you - a lot.

But as much as she had scolded you for your brutish, poor people ways - you had managed to bring her around to some of your ways of life. You showed her how binging reality shows could be fun, and that not all types of processed junk food were terribly beyond her taste.

It was probably why you were putting up with this now. The garden party.

You were surprised that she had been able to put together a party this elaborate so quickly. But she said that it was necessary because she had insisted that she wanted you to meet all of her friends.

You thought that it would be just a few people; no more than would fill up the dozen chairs that she had at her exceedingly large fancy dining table. But you grew more anxious as cars filled the long driveway and more people filled the ‘garden’ out back, picking at tables that had been set up with expensive catered food and sipping on drinks that were being poured by a bartender that had been highered last minute.

Of course - your grandmother insisted on picking an outfit for you. She didn’t bring herself to care where exactly on the gender spectrum you fell - she didn’t even bring up your birth gender at all, which surprised you, since she had known you as a baby. She simply took it at face value when you introduced yourself to her by name and the two of you easily rolled with things from there. It was strange for an old woman, especially one so caught up in the history of all the objects in her home. But you supposed that those deathbed regrets ran deep and she preferred to spend this time with you actually embracing you instead of arguing with you and potentially driving you away.

She insisted on picking your clothes because she simply hated your graphic band tee shirts and your ripped jeans, and insisted that you wear something ‘light and airy’ worthy of a garden party. All she had asked before she consulted her personal shopper was if you had a preference of pants or a skirt. And you couldn’t bring yourself to protest, even when you saw the pastel colours that you normally would have utterly hated.

You weren’t sure why you were trying so hard to impress someone that you barely knew - someone you could barely even call family. Perhaps it was because your mother had treated you so poorly - she had never cared if you were clothed or fed, so having someone buy you expensive new clothes after caring to have ‘family dinner’ with you every night, it was touching. Especially considering that she was throwing an entire party in your honor when your mother hadn’t even wished you ‘happy birthday’ most years - often forgot the day and let it pass without acknowledgment at all.

Everything your grandmother was going for you, it made you feel like you truly mattered for the first time in your young life.

Perhaps for the first time since Jason had insisted on stitching up your wound - after he had told you that you being hurt on his behalf in the first place was such a terrible crime. But you didn’t want to think about that too much because you missed him so terribly.

You did find yourself picky at the itchy, slightly too tight collar as you went downstairs to join the other guests. Your grandmother paraded you around, introduced you to different people. And soon, she abandoned you near one of the snack tables when she was called over by some ‘business associate’.

You couldn’t resist the urge to pull out your phone and check - your stomach sank when you saw that there was still nothing from Jason.

Entirely against your own will, you began typing.

‘Jason, I’m worried about you. Please text me back when you can. I know it’s stupid to be worried just cause I haven’t heard from you in a few days, but Gotham is a stupid shithole and I wanna know that you haven’t been eaten by a giant mutant crocodile or something.’

You hoped that he would reply soon. Even if it was telling you to fuck off.

You hated when you got sucked into another conversation with more people you didn’t know. You quickly found yourself mentally begging to be released from the hell as more and more people asked you questions that you couldn’t even begin to form the answers to.

“What are your top three?” One of the women asked you, looking at you with precise, dissecting eyes.

‘Top three what?’ You wanted to shriek.

“My Brandon is going to Dartmouth after summering in Metropolis. Doing a lot of volunteer work there - an angel, he is.”

The other women standing around you all nodded, giving approving looks with strangely fake smiles, and all you could do was nod and smile along with them.

‘Summering? Since when is that a verb?’

You wished more than anything that Jason was there with you. Not only would he pull you aside and relentlessly laugh at these plastic-y women with you, but you knew that he would be able to save you from this. He did have a bit more experience being around rich people because of Bruce, and he would actually be able to tell you what the hell they were saying. He would be able to translate all this shit to ‘Oliver Twist’ for you so that you wouldn’t feel like you were suddenly living on some alien planet.

“Where do you usually summer? When you’re not with your grandmother, that is?”

You felt more panic rise in you as another question was directed at you, desperately racking your brain for an answer that wouldn’t make you sound stupidly out of place to them.

Luckily, before you had to stumble your way through the interaction, your phone began to vibrate in the pocket of the overly expensive blazer that your grandmother had made you wear. You wanted to breathe a sigh of relief at the chance for distraction - even though it was probably a spam call, or Gar, calling to complain that he was lonely because Rachel wasn’t back from her trip yet. (Without you and Jason there, and with Rachel extending her stay on Themyscira, he near constantly complained to you that he was lonely, and that he hated everyone leaving.)

But still, you jumped at the chance to escape the many pairs of eyes, staring at you, studying your every move like you were a very fascinating bug. Looking at you like you were something that didn’t belong there.

“I have to take this.” You grinned at them, reaching to grab your phone out of your pocket.

You moved away from the group of clucking hens, hoping for some privacy in the conversation. Even if it was just Gar, you would use this opportunity to stall for as long as possible before being pulled back into the party.

When you took your phone out and saw Jason’s contact photo lighting up the screen, you couldn’t hold back the smile that broke across your cheeks. It was a picture of him sticking his tongue out that you had taken using the front facing camera when he had been annoying you over your shoulder one day.

Pure, unadulterated joy. That stupid teenager crush igniting your insides yet again.

You moved toward the refreshment table, knowing that you looked like an idiot as you stared down at your phone, smiling so widely.

You knew that you were in too deep. That you probably felt far more deeply for him than he did for you - that you would have dared to call it that deep, ‘tied together forever’ thing, and he probably wouldn’t.

But you were caring less and less each day. You were beginning not to care if he broke your heart.

At this point, you were just along for the ride.

A very small voice in the back of your head told you that maybe he was calling to break things off with you. Maybe, all this time that he had gone without speaking to you, he had been waiting, working up the courage, finding the right words to tell you that he was truly done with you.

But no. That wouldn’t be the case.

He had simply been busy. And now, he was calling to tell you what a hectic, shitty few days it had been, how much he had missed you -

“Hey, asshole. I don’t know if you leeched some of Rach’s psychic powers, but you called just in time to save me.”

You breathed into the receiver as soon as you picked up, throwing out a casual greeting, knowing that Jason wouldn’t be offended by the words.

“I always hesitate to say that you were right, but I am beginning to regret not taking you up on that offer to come with me. You should see some of these rich, stuck-up snobs - you would be laughing your ass off if you were here right now.”

There was a long silence.

Your stomach dropped.

On the other end, you had no clue that Jason felt that exact same sting of regret about not coming with you. If he had - the two of you could have been safe and happy together.

Fear clutched at your throat.

It was a basic instinct, but you knew that the silence wasn’t a good thing. You thought that all of your worst fears were about to come true. That Jason was about to tell you that he was truly done with you, that he never actually felt anything for you in the first place, and he was just working up the courage to speak the words aloud.

But it was so much worse than that. It was worse than anything you could have imagined.

A single, ragged breath.

Air struggling to get in and out of his lungs past broken bone - pain.

Standing in the radiance of a warm, pleasant afternoon, with people mingling happily all around you - all the life drained from you. All the happiness sucked out of the world in a matter of seconds.

You wanted to scream at the top of your lungs, wanted to cry out for help.

There was a unique cruelty in the fact that everyone else in the garden simply went on, chatting, laughing, engaging in merriment. The fact that they went about their stupid party, having no clue that a world away, in Gotham - a great tragedy was taking place.

All of those rich assholes sipped their drinks and carried on with their day, having no clue that your world was about to end.

“Jason?”

You knew that your voice was so utterly wounded, small and terrified. You made no effort to hide it.

There was a harsh sound - a collision of flesh, a groan. A hit. It was a sound that somehow made your guts twist in on themselves even more.

“Go on, Robin.”

That voice wasn’t Jason. It wasn’t someone you knew. It was wicked and harsh and made you want to scream. All you could do was swallow around a thick dryness that had formed in your throat - like sandpaper had been put there.

You didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t do anything more than listen.

“Go on, answer your pretty friend.”

Jason sucked in another harsh breath, and sputtered out a cough.

“I - I fucked up.” Jason said, his voice ragged. “I fucked up big time.”

You felt a hot, wet tear run down your face before you realized that you were crying. Your legs were filled with concrete and you felt the world spinning on its axis. It was a miracle that you managed to stay standing upright.

You couldn’t even comprehend how you might have looked to someone else in those moments, and truthfully it didn’t matter. No one else at the party even noticed the terrible grief that had struck you. They simply carried on, absorbed in their own little world.

“Jason?”

It hadn’t even occurred to you that you had given up Jason’s secret identity - the name behind the Robin mask. You were too busy quaking with fear, your chest tight as you considered: this might actually be the end of his life.

And you couldn’t do anything about it.

What the fuck could you do about it?

“What happened?” You rushed to ask, your voice full of breath, full of fear. “What’s happening?”

More tears poured down your face, and you swallowed around the tightness of your throat, forcing a clearness to be able to speak.

“I made a mistake.” Jason said, his voice coming out in a tight wheeze as he struggled to breathe. “I - I never should have gotten you involved in this.”

You knew what he really wanted to say. He wanted to apologize for letting you get close to him. For giving you the potential to get hurt.

“No!” You easily argued back. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

You decided right then and there - maybe you had decided a long time ago - if he broke your heart by leaving you alone, by dying, you didn’t care. You didn’t care if he left you fucked up and broken. All of the time the two of you had spent together - it had all been worth it.

You needed him to know that. You needed him to know.

“Jason, I-”

You hesitated for a moment before you said it. Before you crossed that line into the abyss. Your voice clouded with the thickness of your tears when you finally said the words.

“I love you.”

When he heard it, Jason let out a wounded howl.

You thought that he had been stabbed. You let out a sob of your own, echoing his pain.

You did not know that it was these words alone that damned him. It was something that hurt him more than any baseball bat crashing down over his knees or any brass knuckles against his jaw ever could have.

Moments before his death, you sentenced him to the worst crime of all - breaking your heart. Now, with his own foolish choices, he had damned you to a life without the one you loved. You had sentenced him to dying with the knowledge that he was the worst piece of shit to ever touch your life. That he truly had rotted everything good about you - just like he had promised.

You could have chosen anyone else, and you chose to love the stupid, fucked up, idiotic Jason Todd. The man who was about to die due to his own incompetence.

“Aww, isn’t that sweet?” The stranger’s voice was there again, mocking you.

You weren’t surprised that Jason didn’t say it back - but you hoped that your words, that you saying it brought some comfort to him.

You were about to open your mouth again, about to promise that you would find him and rescue him in time.

And then another pillar of hell struck you.

“Now, it’s time for the little birdie to go bye-bye.”

You couldn’t even muster your voice again, couldn’t scream out against this. Your throat was swollen shut, like an allergic reaction to the tragedy as it happened.

There was a silence - a second of your life that swallowed you whole like an abyss of fifty endless years.

And then, that silence was cut through by the worst sound you had ever been forced to hear.

A gunshot.

The sound was distinctive, clear as day.

“Jason?!”

You screamed his name at the top of your lungs - this time, undeniably drawing attention to yourself. Even the plastic party goers couldn’t ignore a tragedy of this magnitude. You couldn’t bring yourself to care as multiple of their heads snapped toward you, taking in the now utterly disheveled sight of you, crying, clutching at your phone like it was the most precious thing in the world.

“Jason?!” You screamed again, your voice nagging into a hopelessly dead line.

You didn’t know that they had smashed Jason’s phone, disposing of it now that they were done with their game.

Upon instinct, you ran. Your legs were heavy and felt stupid and you stumbled into multiple people on your way into the house, causing murmurs as the crowd stared at you. You didn’t care. You were panicked, shaking, confused. You made your way up to the guest bedroom that you had been staying in and began frantically shoving your things back into your bag, half-packed when you finally realized that you had no clue where you were going.

And you collapsed onto the floor, then. Your whole body was weak, overtaken by shock. Clueless and terrified, your chest was barely taking in breath and your own phone slipped out of your shaking hand when you tried to think of your next move.

For a long time - what felt like endless hours, days - you could do nothing but sit there and desperately try to suck air into your lungs, playing the gunshot sound over and over again in your mind.

They shot Jason. They shot Jason. They had shot Jason.

Your brain could hardly process it.

One of your grandmother’s caretakers knocked on the bedroom door and you couldn’t gather words to answer. When she asked you what had happened, you couldn’t even begin to explain. That was when you realized that you had needed concrete answers yourself. So as she left the room to make you some peppermint tea ‘for your nerves’, you forced your shaking hands to work, and you grabbed up your phone again.

You needed to call Dick.

He didn’t pick up. Then you called Kory. No dice. Then you called Gar - you could hear the bustle of a crime scene in the background, but he sounded okay. He was talking in his usual bright, excited voice. The Titans had likely just made a bust. He was excited to be making a difference, helping people.

You sucked down breath and tripped over your own words trying to explain it. Jason was in trouble - a gunshot, he was hurt. He was dead. Gar barely understood, tried arguing against you because you sounded hysterical. But he passed the phone to Dick at your insistence. Dick made sense of your words, and made you wait fifteen long painful minutes until he was back in front of the computer at Titans Tower to give you some kind of answer.

Jason’s tracker was online. It was in Gotham. It was at the Amusement Mile.

It wasn’t picking up any heat signature from Jason’s body. That only meant one thing: his body was cold.

“I’m - I’m so sorry, Y/N. Jason’s - he’s gone.”

...

A/N: This is part one of two, and I do have the second part ready to go in my drafts.

Based on the original, Emergency Contact, having around 400 notes, and based on the fact that Jason Todd is a popular character:

I would like to see around 50 reblogs and around 50 comments on this before I post the next part.

Which I do think is a modest ask - if the same amount of people who enjoyed the original show up to read this sequel, then I will be asking one quarter of those people to comment or reblog. And I say 'around' because if I see a good amount of people commenting and reblogging, even if we don't meet the goal, then I will post the next part more quickly.

(I just don't want another incident to happen where people stop commenting immediately as the goal is met and then I end up with 30 comments and 900 likes, clearly showing that people don't care to support a fic even if they clearly enjoyed it.)

However, if you are going to comment, please do not just comment asking for the next part or asking when the next part will be posted, please comment about the body of work that has already been written and posted. I find it inconsiderate and stressful when people only ask for updates. I much prefer to spark a discussion about the existing work that has been written.

Anyway - I am just insanely proud of this fic and I really want to hear what you guys think of it so far!! So please do comment, reblog and rant in the tags, or come to my inbox and chat with me on anon if you're shy. I always wanna hear from fellow Jason Todd lovers and fellow Titans enjoyers.

216 notes · View notes

cocobeanncteez · 2 days ago

Text

The CEO Collision - Part Four

Pairing: CEO!Seonghwa x CEO!reader (f)

Warnings / content for Part Four: alcohol consumption, profanities, angst, seonghwa talks about a toxic person in his past, mention of a restraining order and going through a rough breakup, lotssss of fluff in this part after the initial angst parts. Please note that other than Ateez, all other character names used are fictional.

Word Count: 9.3k

Masterlist for The CEO Collision

A month later, your relationship with Seonghwa had evolved into something far more intense than you’d ever expected. Your days were filled with teasing glances, stolen kisses, and luxurious dates that always ended in nights that left you breathless, and overall, a lot of sex. It was magnetic, fiery, and consuming in the best way.

Yet, in the quiet moments, when the rush of adrenaline faded, a nagging thought lingered at the back of your mind. You still hadn’t asked him about the past.

You’d told yourself it didn’t matter. That the way he touched you, cared for you, and looked at you as though you were his entire world was enough. And maybe it was—until the reality of your arrangement crept in. You couldn’t ignore the fact that the delay in finalizing your engagement had real consequences for his company. You knew Seonghwa wouldn’t push you, but every passing day added to the strain.

But tonight, that would change.

If you were going to marry this man, you needed to understand everything—especially if it involved you.

The soft glow of candlelight illuminated your living room as you sat curled on the couch, waiting for him to arrive. You’d invited him over for dinner, deciding that the intimacy of your home would make the conversation easier, and because your family was away on a business trip that didn’t require your presence.

When the bell rang, your heart raced. You opened the door to find Seonghwa standing there, as composed and handsome as ever, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand.

“For you,” he said with a small smile, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek.

“Thank you,” you replied, stepping aside to let him in. His presence filled the space effortlessly, the air shifting the way it always did when he was near.

Dinner was a quiet affair, filled with comfortable silences and the occasional light-hearted remark. But as the plates were cleared and the mood turned softer, you knew it was time.

“Seonghwa,” you started, your voice steady, though your hands fidgeted with the edge of the napkin in your lap. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

He set his wine glass down, his expression softening but still attentive. “What’s on your mind, my love?”

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. “I… never really asked you about our past… the reason I resented you for so long.”

Seonghwa reached for your hands, his thumbs brushing gentle circles on your skin. “I’ve had a feeling you wanted to talk about this. I didn’t push because I wanted you to bring it up when you felt ready.”

“I just…” You hesitated, searching his face for a reaction. “You know, we slept together so many times before, and the next day, you acted like it didn’t matter. I understand we were drunk out of our minds, but… I don’t know. Maybe I don’t understand why things never grew between us back then?”

He sighed, his gaze dipping to where your hands intertwined. “I owe you the truth about that.” He paused, his tone carrying a weight that made your chest tighten. “I’ve always had feelings for you since we were 23, Y/N. Always. But… there were things happening back then that made it impossible for me to act on them.”

You frowned, tilting your head. “What things?”

“Do you know Shin Nayeon?” he asked cautiously.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you nodded. “Shin Group’s daughter?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “When I was younger, my parents had an informal agreement with hers. It was one of those old-fashioned things—two families joking about marrying off their children to secure business ties. My parents never took it seriously, but hers did.”

You blinked, surprised by the revelation. “So… what happened?”

“When I turned 21, the Shins started pushing for an engagement,” he explained. “At the time, I was dating someone… someone I thought I’d marry. But Nayeon found out and intervened. She told my girlfriend at that time some horrible things, things that weren’t true, and it ended us.”

Your heart clenched at the sadness in his voice. “That’s awful.”

“She was relentless,” Seonghwa continued, his jaw tightening, his usual calm demeanor replaced by a rare vulnerability. “She spread rumors, made demands, and even tried to manipulate my parents. But they refused to entertain her. I thought that would be enough to stop her, but she didn’t back off. I filed a restraining order, but it was useless. Her family had too much influence—they got it dismissed before it even mattered.”

You absorbed his words, the pieces of the puzzle clicking into place. “So, when we…”

“I was protecting you,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, yet the weight of his words hung heavily in the air. “I knew what I felt for you was real, but I couldn’t trust myself to keep you safe. Everything that came with being involved with me felt like too much of a risk. Nayeon would’ve found a way to hurt you, to drag you into her chaos. And…” He hesitated, his gaze dropping to the floor before returning to yours. “You’re Joong’s sister. He knew about Nayeon and what she was capable of. If I got involved with you and anything happened, he would’ve lost his mind.”

You processed his words, your emotions swirling. “Joong knew?”

“He knew about Nayeon,” Seonghwa admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “Not about my feelings for you, though. But even without that, he was protective of you. If I’d let things progress between us, especially with you being from a wealthy family, Nayeon would’ve weaponized the media against you to have her way. I couldn’t let that happen.”

You looked at him, the conflict evident in his expression. “So, instead, you pushed me away... multiple times.”

“I thought it was the right thing to do,” he said, his voice thick with regret. “I thought I was sparing you from the mess, but I realize now that I just hurt you instead. I’m sorry, Y/N. I was selfish and scared.”

You stared at him, the weight of his confession sinking in. It explained so much—his distance, the tension, and the unspoken emotions between you all these years.

“I wish you’d told me sooner,” you said finally, your tone softer than you expected.

“I wish I had too,” he replied earnestly. “But now, I’m telling you everything because I don’t want to make the same mistake again. I want us to move forward with no secrets between us.”

You nodded slowly, feeling the honesty in his words. “Thank you for telling me.”

“And thank you for listening,” he said, his voice warm. The tension in the room eased slightly, but the connection between you only deepened. For the first time, it felt like the past wasn’t a barrier but a bridge to understanding each other better.

“So what happened to Nayeon after?” you asked, breaking the momentary silence. “I know she’s married now.”

“After nearly five years of harassing me, the Moon family approached her parents with a proposal for their second youngest son,” Seonghwa said, leaning back slightly, his expression a mix of relief and lingering exasperation. “He’s quite handsome and from a ridiculously wealthy family. One day, she came up to me and said she found someone more handsome and richer, and then just like that, she left me alone. I didn’t trust it at first, but after her wedding went through, I could finally breathe.”

You raised an eyebrow, incredulous. “Five years? That’s… insane.”

“It was,” he admitted, a bitter chuckle escaping him. “By the time she finally moved on, I had gotten used to looking over my shoulder. It took a while to realize she was really gone.”

You let his words sink in, the weight of what he’d endured slowly settling in your mind. “And during all that… you and I…”

“It was when we were pursuing our master’s degrees,” Seonghwa interjected, his gaze softening as he recalled the memory. “Do you remember?”

You nodded, a slight blush creeping up your cheeks.

“I remember waking up the next morning, hoping to see you still there,” he continued, his voice carrying a hint of wistfulness. “But you were gone. San and Jongho saw you leaving my place. They weren’t subtle about their surprise.”

You felt a twinge of embarrassment but pushed through it. “Yeah, well… I wasn’t exactly thinking straight back then.”

“It was a complicated time,” Seonghwa said gently, his eyes holding yours. “What threw me off was when I found out later that you got back together with your ex. I asked Joong about you, and he told me the news like it was nothing. I… wasn’t sure how to feel.”

You bit your lip, the weight of his words making your heart ache. “I didn’t know, Seonghwa. I had no idea how much it mattered to you back then.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “I never said anything. I didn’t fight for what I wanted. I let the circumstances and my fears control me.”

You reached out, placing a hand on his. “Well, you’re here now, and so am I. Maybe it wasn’t the right time then, but it feels like it is now.”

His lips curved into a soft smile, his fingers intertwining with yours. “I’ll make sure I don’t waste it this time.”

The quiet promise in his voice sent a warmth through you, solidifying the unspoken understanding that despite the twists and turns of your past, you were both ready to move forward together.

-x-x-x-

Seonghwa adjusted his tie as he sat in the elegant sitting room of your family’s mansion. The late afternoon sunlight filtered through the large windows, casting a warm glow on the polished wood and tasteful decor. Your mother poured tea into delicate china cups, while your father leaned back in his chair, observing Seonghwa with an approving smile.

“I must say, Seonghwa,” your father began, his voice warm, “it’s always a pleasure having you here. Though, I admit I’m curious about the purpose of this visit. Joong told us you had something important to discuss.”

Seonghwa straightened his posture, his expression a mix of confidence and sincerity. “Yes, sir. I do.”

Hongjoong, who had been lounging casually on the couch, suddenly perked up, his eyes narrowing slightly as he studied Seonghwa. “This sounds serious.”

“It is,” Seonghwa admitted, taking a steadying breath. “I wanted to speak with you all because it concerns Y/N and our future together.”

Your mother’s hands paused mid-air as she reached for her tea. She exchanged a glance with your father, her curiosity piqued. “Go on,” she encouraged, her tone kind but intrigued.

Seonghwa clasped his hands together, leaning slightly forward. “I would like to ask for your permission to propose to Y/N.”

The room fell silent for a moment, the gravity of his words sinking in. Your parents shared a look of surprise, and even Hongjoong looked momentarily caught off guard even though Seonghwa told him before that he’d rather propose; he didn’t think Seonghwa would actually go through with it.

“A proposal?” your father echoed, his eyebrows raising slightly. “That’s… unexpected. Families like ours typically sit down and come to a mutual agreement about engagements.”

“I understand,” Seonghwa replied, his voice steady and respectful. “But I don’t want this to be just a formality or a business decision. Y/N means far more to me than that. I want to ask her properly, to show her that this is about love and partnership, not just obligation or tradition.”

Your mother’s expression softened, a pleased smile curving her lips. “That’s quite thoughtful of you, Seonghwa. I must say, it’s refreshing to hear this perspective.”

Hongjoong leaned back, crossing his arms. “You do realize Y/N isn’t exactly the easiest person to win over, right? You’re sure about this?”

“More than anything,” Seonghwa replied without hesitation.

Your father nodded slowly, a hint of pride in his eyes. “Well, I have to say, Seonghwa, you’ve impressed us since the very beginning. We’ve seen how much you respect and care for Y/N, and that’s what matters most to us.”

“Absolutely,” your mother added warmly. “You have our blessing.”

Hongjoong smirked, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone this determined to deal with my sister. But you’ve got my support too—just don’t mess it up.”

Seonghwa chuckled softly, the tension in his shoulders easing. “Thank you. All of you. This means a lot to me.”

As he sipped his tea, Seonghwa couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of relief and anticipation. Now all that remained was picking the perfect ring for you and bringing his proposal plans to reality—a moment he was determined to make unforgettable.

“Hyung… oh my god, we’ve been to like, eight stores already,” Wooyoung groaned, rubbing his temples dramatically as he leaned against the glass counter of yet another upscale jewelry store. “How hard is it for you to pick a ring? Just pick one. They’re all shiny and expensive. She’ll love any of them.”

Seonghwa, unfazed, inspected yet another diamond solitaire ring under the bright store lights, tilting it slightly to see how the facets caught the light. “It’s not just about shiny and expensive, Wooyoung,” he said, his tone calm but firm. “It has to be perfect. She deserves that.”

Wooyoung threw his hands up in exasperation. “Okay, but does it have to be this hard? We’ve been at this for hours. My feet hurt, my patience is gone, and I think the saleslady over there is about two seconds away from calling security because she thinks we’re casing the place.”

Mingi, who was lounging on one of the plush chairs in the corner, laughed. “To be fair, hyung, you have been scrutinizing every single ring in the city like your life depends on it. At this point, just have one custom-made.”

Seonghwa sighed, placing the ring back onto its velvet display. “I thought about that, but custom orders take weeks, and I don’t want to wait that long. I need the proposal to happen soon.”

“Why the rush?” Wooyoung asked, raising an eyebrow.

Seonghwa hesitated for a moment before replying, “I’ve already waited too long to tell her how I feel. And with everything that’s happened recently… I want her to know I’m serious. I want her to know she’s my future.”

Wooyoung clutched his chest dramatically. “Aww, hyung, that’s so romantic. But also, can you speed this up? I need food. I’m dying here.”

Mingi rolled his eyes. “You’re not dying, Wooyoung. You’re just dramatic.”

As the two bickered, Seonghwa’s eyes fell on a particular ring—a classic design with a round brilliant-cut diamond surrounded by smaller diamonds, set on a delicate platinum band. It wasn’t overly flashy, but it exuded timeless elegance.

The sales associate noticed his interest and stepped forward with a warm smile. “Excellent choice, sir. This one is one of our most popular designs for proposals. It’s simple, yet elegant—a symbol of everlasting love.”

Seonghwa picked it up and examined it closely. It was perfect. It reminded him of you: elegant, understated, yet undeniably captivating.

“This is the one,” he said decisively, slipping the ring back into its box.

“Finally!” Wooyoung groaned, throwing his arms up in mock relief. “Can we eat now?”

Seonghwa chuckled, ignoring his friend’s dramatics. “Get the car while I pay,” he told Wooyoung whom immediately agreed, dragging Mingi along with him.

While Seonghwa paid for the ring, an idea popped up in his head, and he looked at the sales associate with a smirk on his face. “Do you do customized designs? Not for jewelry… but showpieces?”

Nari leaned back in her office chair, glancing cautiously at the glass walls of her workspace to ensure no one could overhear her conversation. Holding her phone close, she spoke in a hushed but amused tone.

“Look, Mr. Park, I’m telling you, don’t plan anything for this week,” she said, twirling a pen between her fingers. “Trust me on this—Y/N will not want to be on a yacht or anywhere fancy while she’s on her period.”

There was a short pause before Seonghwa’s voice came through, slightly hesitant. “Are you sure? She didn’t mention anything about it to me.”

Nari rolled her eyes, though her tone remained playful. “Of course she didn’t. She’s not going to tell you something like that directly, especially not when you’re still in the whole ‘charming romantic’ phase of your relationship. That’s why you’ve got me.”

Seonghwa sighed, clearly relieved. “Alright. Next week it is, then. She loves the sea, and I want her to enjoy every moment of it.”

“Exactly,” Nari agreed, tapping her pen against her desk. “Schedule the yacht for next week, and maybe throw in some spa time or a nice dinner this weekend instead. Keep things low-key for now.”

“I appreciate this,” Seonghwa said earnestly. “Thank you, Nari. I owe you one.”

She smirked, leaning forward. “Oh, you owe me more than one. I’m practically your accomplice at this point. If Y/N ever finds out I’m helping you plan all this behind her back, I’m denying everything.”

Seonghwa chuckled softly. “Noted. I’ll make sure to cover for you if it ever comes up.”

“Good,” Nari replied, checking the time. “Now go do your billionaire CEO thing or whatever. I’ve got real work to do.”

Seonghwa’s laughter was warm and genuine. “You’re a lifesaver, Nari. Thanks again.”

As the call ended, Nari shook her head with a small smile. “She better marry this guy,” she muttered under her breath before diving back into her paperwork.

Seonghwa stood behind the bar counter at Mingi’s establishment, his sleeves rolled up, a focused expression on his face. The bar was quiet this afternoon, Mingi having locked the doors to ensure no interruptions during their little mixology lesson.

Mingi leaned against the counter, watching Seonghwa’s meticulous movements with a mix of amusement and mild exasperation. “Hyung, you don’t have to look like you’re performing heart surgery. It’s just a cocktail.”

“This is Y/N’s favorite cocktail,” Seonghwa countered, his voice sharp with determination. “She said it’s the best drink in the world. I can’t mess this up.”

Wooyoung, seated on one of the barstools, swirled a mocktail in his hand. “Yeah, but I’m pretty sure if she knew you were going to this length, she’d already be swooning. You don’t have to perfect it, hyung.”

“Perfection is the bare minimum,” Seonghwa shot back, carefully measuring the ingredients. “Tell me again, Mingi. What’s the trick to getting that foam on top just right?”

Mingi smirked, reaching for a shaker. “It’s all in the shake. You’ve got to go hard and fast, no half-hearted effort. Like this.” He demonstrated with exaggerated movements, the shaker rattling loudly in his hands.

Wooyoung snickered. “I’ve seen you use those moves on the dance floor, Mingi. Impressive multitasking.”

Mingi flipped him off without missing a beat. “Watch and learn, Woo.” He poured the mixture into a glass, revealing a perfectly frothy layer. “Now you try, lover boy.”

Seonghwa took the shaker, his brows furrowed in concentration. He mimicked Mingi’s movements, his arms flexing as he shook the cocktail with vigor.

Wooyoung raised an eyebrow, leaning toward Mingi. “Hyung’s shaking that thing like it owes him money.”

Mingi snorted, but the laughter died quickly when Seonghwa poured the drink into a glass, revealing a near-perfect foam.

“Not bad,” Mingi admitted, clapping Seonghwa on the back. “You’re a quick learner.”

Seonghwa allowed himself a small, satisfied smile as he garnished the drink with precision. “She’ll love this.”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes. “You’re setting the bar too high for the rest of us, hyung. Can’t wait for Y/N to brag about how her fiancé makes her custom cocktails at home.”

Seonghwa’s expression softened at the word fiancé. “She deserves every bit of effort. I want everything about that night to be perfect.”

Mingi grinned, handing him the recipe card. “Well, you’ve got the drink down. Just don’t forget to actually ask her to marry you between impressing her with cocktails and gazing at her like a lovesick puppy.”

Seonghwa chuckled, slipping the card into his pocket. “Noted. Thanks for this, Mingi. And for keeping it a secret.”

“Anything for true love,” Mingi replied with mock seriousness, raising his mocktail in a toast.

Wooyoung smirked. “Anything except letting me have this cocktail for free, apparently.”

Mingi rolled his eyes. “Pay up or shut up, Woo.”

As the three men exchanged banter, Seonghwa couldn’t help but imagine your reaction, already counting down the days until the proposal.

---

The warm scent of lavender and eucalyptus surrounded you as you settled into the plush spa chair, your nails being meticulously painted by a skilled technician. Yeri sat beside you, her feet soaking in a tub of warm, scented water, a serene smile on her face that made you narrow your eyes suspiciously.

“You’re unusually chipper today,” you remarked, glancing at her out of the corner of your eye.

“Am I not allowed to be happy?” Yeri retorted, feigning offense.

“You dragged me to a whole-day spa retreat out of the blue,” you pointed out. “I mean, I’m not complaining, but what’s the occasion?”

She shrugged, a little too nonchalantly. “Does there have to be an occasion? Maybe I just wanted some girl time with my CEO best friend.”

You raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Yeri, the last time you did something like this, it was to butter me up before telling me you totaled your car that I bought you for your birthday.”

Yeri gasped dramatically. “I cannot believe you would bring up my darkest moment during such a relaxing day.”

You smirked. “So? What is it? Spill.”

She hesitated, fiddling with the edge of her robe. “Fine. Maybe I just thought you could use a day to unwind. You’ve been busy with work, and… things have been going really well with Seonghwa, haven’t they?”

The mention of his name made your cheeks warm. “They have. But what does that have to do with this?”

“Nothing!” she said quickly, a little too quickly. “I just thought, you know, you deserve to feel pampered.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re acting weird.”

“I am not acting weird,” she insisted, though the guilty flicker in her expression betrayed her.

Before you could press further, the nail technician announced she was finished, and Yeri sprang to her feet. “Massage time!” she said, grabbing your arm and practically dragging you toward the treatment rooms.

“Okay, now you’re definitely up to something,” you said as you followed her, laughing.

Later, during the massage, Yeri lay on her stomach, her face hidden in the cradle of the massage table. “You know,” she said, her voice muffled, “if Seonghwa ever proposes, you better say yes.”

The comment caught you off guard, and you turned your head toward her, frowning. “Where is this coming from?”

“Just saying,” she replied, her tone overly casual. “He’s, like, the perfect guy. Thoughtful, successful, hot…”

You laughed softly. “Are you trying to convince me to marry him?”

“Nope, not at all,” Yeri said quickly. “Just… planting a seed.”

You rolled your eyes, but a small smile tugged at your lips. “Seonghwa wouldn’t propose, Yeri. This is a business arrangement, so basically like a mutual engagement ceremony, not a get down on one knee kind of thing.”

Yeri bit her lip to stifle her grin. She couldn’t wait to see your reaction tomorrow.

The soft hum of the yacht's engine and the rhythmic sound of the waves crashing against the hull created a serene atmosphere. The sun was beginning its set on the horizon, casting the sky in hues of gold, pink, and lavender. The air was cool, the scent of the ocean salty and fresh, as it tousled your hair and tugged at your fitted white dress. You leaned against the railing of the top deck, your gaze lost in the vast, endless expanse of water, trying to take in the beauty of the moment.

It was peaceful, calming, perfect.

And then you felt Seonghwa’s presence behind you. You didn’t need to turn around to know it was him; you felt him before you saw him. His footsteps were slow, deliberate, the kind that made your heart flutter just a little.

“This view suits you,” his voice broke through the silence, low and intimate.

You turned to face him, catching a glimpse of his slightly tousled hair, the loose white linen shirt he was wearing flowing in the evening breeze. He looked effortlessly handsome, confident, and calm—but you could sense the tension in his jaw, the anticipation in his eyes.

“It’s beautiful,” you replied softly, giving him a smile as you gestured to the horizon. “I can’t remember the last time I had time to enjoy something like this.”

He stepped closer, his gaze not leaving yours. There was something in his eyes—something raw and vulnerable. But it was masked by the usual composure he wore.

“So, this is the yacht you bought?” you asked, unable to hide the playful tone in your voice. “Seems... extravagant.”

His lips curled into a half-smile, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Sort of,” he said, his tone light and casual, but there was a flicker of something beneath the surface.

You raised an eyebrow, sensing the hesitation. “Sort of?”

He chuckled, the sound deep and warm. “Okay, it’s Jongho’s yacht.”

“Jongho’s?” you repeated, half-laughing. “Didn’t you say you wanted to saw me the yacht you bought? And here I thought you were trying to impress me with your wealth.”

“Well, that too,” he admitted with a sly grin. “But I thought it would be the perfect setting for tonight.”

“Tonight?” You felt a flutter of curiosity in your chest. “What’s so special about tonight?”

He didn’t answer right away, only extended his hand toward you with a slow, deliberate motion. “Come with me. There’s something I want to show you.”

Without another word, you took his hand, your heart thumping against your chest as you followed him down to the main deck. The staff was nowhere in sight; it was just the two of you now, the quiet intimacy of the space wrapping around you.

The dinner table was set perfectly, with crisp white linens, glowing candles, and a stunning bouquet of your favorite flowers sitting in the center. The soft light from the candles flickered in the dimming twilight, casting a warm glow across everything.

You gasped softly, a smile forming on your lips. “Wow… Seonghwa, this is—”

“Do you like it?” he asked, his voice almost tentative.

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from within you. “Like it? I love it.”

He gave you a satisfied smile and pulled out your chair for you, a gentleman as always, though there was an unmistakable edge to his demeanor tonight.

As dinner went on, you were lost in the moment, savoring every bite of food, every glance between you two, and the rare, intimate silence that settled between you. The yacht gently rocked with the waves, the gentle hum of the engine setting a peaceful rhythm. But you could feel the change in the air. Something was different about tonight. Something was building.

When dessert came—a delicate chocolate mousse with fresh berries—Seonghwa suddenly stood up, his movements slow, deliberate. You followed his lead, your curiosity piqued.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice quieter now, more serious than before.

You set your spoon down, meeting his eyes. Your heart was racing now, a small flutter of anticipation at the back of your throat.

His gaze softened as he took a step closer to you, his presence overwhelming. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now.”

You swallowed, your pulse quickening. “What is it?”

Instead of answering, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small, velvet box. The moment you saw it, your breath caught in your throat. You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. Everything seemed to freeze.

“Y/N…” He lowered himself to one knee in front of you, his expression tender and vulnerable. “I know things didn’t start like a typical relationship, but what we’ve built together means everything to me. You mean everything to me, and I’m unconditionally in love with you. You’ve brought joy, peace, and a kind of love into my life I didn’t know I was missing. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And so...”

He opened the box, revealing a stunning diamond ring, its facets catching the soft glow of the candles and reflecting the light as though it was alive. The room seemed to hold its breath as you stared at the ring, then back at him, the love in his eyes almost tangible.

His voice was barely a whisper as he asked, “Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

You couldn’t speak right away, your heart in your throat, but your eyes welled with tears as you stared at him. Everything he’d said, everything he had done to make this moment perfect, flooded over you. The love, the patience, the depth of his feelings for you—it was all too much to process.

With a shaky breath, you whispered, “Yes. Yes, Seonghwa, I’ll marry you.”

His face broke into the widest, most genuine smile you’d ever seen. He slipped the ring onto your finger with trembling hands, his gaze never leaving yours. Then, he stood up, pulling you into a tight embrace.

“You’ve made me the happiest man in the world,” he murmured against your hair.

You laughed softly, your hands trembling as you touched his chest, feeling his heart beat in sync with yours. “I think we just made each other the happiest.”

The kiss that followed was slow and sweet, filled with the promise of forever. The world seemed to disappear around you, leaving only Seonghwa, your now fiancé, and a love that had finally come full circle.

The sudden sound of cheers broke through the intimate bubble you and Seonghwa had created. You pulled back from the kiss, startled, only to see the yacht staff clapping enthusiastically. A soft laugh escaped your lips as you buried your face in Seonghwa’s chest, overwhelmed and a little embarrassed by the attention.

“They were in on it?” you asked, your voice muffled against him.

Seonghwa chuckled, the vibrations of his laughter soothing. “Of course. I needed some help to make tonight perfect. All our friends helped in some way.”

A photographer you hadn’t noticed before stepped forward, his camera clicking as he captured more pictures of the two of you. He must have been hiding nearby, capturing the entire proposal as it unfolded.

You glanced at Seonghwa, raising an eyebrow playfully. “Pictures too? You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?”

He smiled down at you, his hand gently brushing a strand of hair from your face. “I didn’t want to forget a single moment of this night. And I thought you might like to have these memories to look back on someday.”

The photographer took a few more shots, stepping back with a satisfied nod. “Congratulations to the both of you,” he said warmly before retreating, likely to give you privacy.

The staff, sensing the moment was still yours to savor, began quietly retreating to their stations, leaving you and Seonghwa alone once more. The candles flickered in the gentle evening breeze, and the faint sound of waves lapping against the yacht filled the silence.

You looked down at the ring now adorning your finger, its brilliance dazzling even in the dim light. “It’s beautiful,” you whispered, running your thumb over the delicate band.

Seonghwa gently tilted your chin up so your eyes met his. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, his gaze full of love and adoration.

A small laugh bubbled up from your chest. “You’re such a romantic. I never would have guessed.”

He smirked, leaning closer so his forehead rested against yours. “You bring it out of me.”

You sighed, letting the warmth of his words settle over you. “Thank you, Seonghwa. For all of this. For… us.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer as if to anchor you to him. “I should be thanking you. You said yes, after all.”

The two of you stayed like that for a moment longer, the reality of your new future sinking in. The stars above seemed to twinkle brighter, and the ocean stretched endlessly around you—a perfect metaphor for the journey you were about to embark on together.

Finally, he pulled back, his expression turning mischievous. “Now, Mrs. Park-to-be,” he said, his tone light, “how about we celebrate properly? I took some lessons from Mingi on how to make your favorite cocktail.”

You raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at your lips. “Mingi gave you lessons? This I have to see.”

Seonghwa intertwined his fingers with yours, tugging you gently toward the staircase leading below deck. “I figured it was only right, considering how much you love that drink. But fair warning, I’m not a professional… yet.”

You laughed, following his lead, a giggle escaping your lips. “I have very high expectations, fiancé.”

The word felt foreign yet perfect as it rolled off your tongue, and the way Seonghwa’s face lit up at hearing it made your heart swell. He glanced back at you, his smile softening into something far more intimate.

“I don’t plan on disappointing you,” he murmured, his tone carrying a quiet promise.

The lower deck was as beautifully arranged as the top, with soft lighting and a cozy seating area near a fully stocked bar. Seonghwa guided you to sit while he moved behind the bar, rolling up his sleeves with exaggerated flair.

“Alright, let’s see if I remember everything Mingi drilled into me,” he said, picking up the shaker.

You leaned back, resting your chin in your hand as you watched him with amusement. “No pressure or anything. But if it’s terrible, I’m never letting you forget it.”

He shot you a mock glare before getting to work, carefully measuring and mixing the ingredients with surprising precision. As he worked, you couldn’t help but admire how effortlessly charming he looked, even while concentrating.

Finally, he poured the drink into a chilled glass, sliding it across the bar toward you with a triumphant grin. “One Y/N-approved cocktail, ready to impress.”

You took a cautious sip, the familiar flavors bursting on your tongue. Your eyes widened as you looked up at him. “Seonghwa… this is actually good.”

His grin turned smug, and he leaned against the bar, watching you with a glint in his eye. “Is that so? I’ll take that as a win.”

Setting the glass down, you got up and walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “A big win,” you admitted, pulling him closer.

Seonghwa’s arms circled your waist, and his smile softened as he gazed down at you. He was about to say something, his lips parting, when a sudden flash of light startled you both.

“Ah, sorry!” the photographer said sheepishly, lowering his camera. “I’ve been capturing everything quietly, but I thought I’d try the flash for this one.”

You blinked, momentarily surprised, before chuckling softly. “That’s no problem at all! Thank you for your hard work.”

Seonghwa turned slightly, his hand still resting on your waist, giving the photographer a polite nod. “You’ve been doing an excellent job. We’ll probably frame half of these,” he said, a teasing smile playing on his lips as he glanced back at you.

The photographer grinned. “Thank you, Mr. Park. I’ll make sure the shots are perfect.”

“Shall we go to the top deck to take more pictures?” Seonghwa asked the photographer. “I recall you saying you knew a great technique?”

The photographer grinned, nodding enthusiastically. “Absolutely, Mr. Park! The top deck at this hour will give us stunning shots with the night sky as a backdrop.”

Seonghwa turned to you, a glint of excitement in his eyes. “Shall we? I think a few pictures with the stars above and the ocean behind us would be perfect.”

You laughed lightly, slipping your hand into his. “You’re really going all out with this, aren’t you?”

“For you? Always,” he replied without missing a beat, guiding you toward the staircase that led to the top deck.

The cool breeze met you as you stepped onto the open deck, the stars scattered across the sky like diamonds on velvet. The photographer followed closely, already adjusting his camera settings for the low light.

“Why don’t you stand over there?” he suggested, pointing to the edge of the deck where the soft glow of the yacht’s lights faded into the darkness of the sea. “I’ll frame the two of you with the horizon, it’ll look magical.”

Seonghwa placed his arm around your waist, pulling you close as you stood together at the rail. The photographer clicked away, occasionally murmuring directions.

“Turn just slightly… perfect. Now look at each other—yes, like that!”

You glanced up at Seonghwa, his expression so tender it made your chest ache. “You’re really into this, aren’t you?” you teased softly.

He smirked, leaning closer. “Can you blame me? I just proposed to the most beautiful woman in the world. I want every second of this night captured.”

Your cheeks warmed, and you playfully swatted his chest. “You’re unbelievable.”

“And you’re irresistible,” he countered, tilting his head just enough to brush a kiss against your temple.

“Got it!” the photographer called, breaking the moment. “These are going to turn out stunning. Do you want a few more with a different angle?”

Seonghwa glanced at you, his smile asking the question as much as his words. “One more set?”

You nodded, unable to hide your own excitement. “Why not? Let’s make this night unforgettable.”

The three of you moved to a new spot on the deck, the laughter and easy banter between you and Seonghwa filling the air as the camera continued to click, immortalizing the beginning of your forever together.

-x-x-x-

Nari burst into your office, barely able to contain her laughter as she waved her phone in the air. “Ms. Y/N! You have to see this. The media is going wild!”

You raised an eyebrow, setting your pen down. “What now?”

With a grin, she handed over her phone. On the screen was an article with a headline so dramatic it almost made you laugh:

“CEO of Byeol Materials Group, Park Seonghwa, Spotted on a Diamond Hunt! Engagement Rumors Spark Frenzy. But Who is the Lucky Woman?”

You blinked, glancing up at Nari before reading the rest aloud:

“Park Seonghwa, the enigmatic and wildly successful CEO of Byeol Materials Group, has been caught making waves yet again—but this time, it’s not about business.

The CEO was seen visiting multiple exclusive jewelry stores over the past few weeks, meticulously inspecting engagement rings. According to insiders from two of the stores, Seonghwa spent considerable time consulting on custom designs, sparking speculation that he’s planning to pop the question.

Known for his fiercely private nature, CEO Park has everyone guessing: Who could the lucky woman be? Industry insiders and fans alike are buzzing with theories, ranging from high-society heiresses to childhood sweethearts.

‘He was extremely particular about what he wanted,’ one jeweler revealed under anonymity. ‘He didn’t settle for anything less than perfection.’

While CEO Park’s representatives have declined to comment, sources close to the CEO hint that the engagement might be announced soon. With his recent public appearances marked by a certain glow and his habit of dodging personal questions, it seems the notoriously composed CEO might be ready to take the leap into married life.

As speculation mounts, one thing is certain: whoever she is, she’s one very lucky lady. Stay tuned as we uncover more about the mystery that is Park Seonghwa’s love life.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, handing the phone back to Nari. “They’re really reaching, aren’t they?”

Nari crossed her arms, trying to look innocent but failing miserably. “Reaching? Or spot-on?”

You shot her a look. “You’re not even trying to be subtle, are you?”

“Why should I? I was involved in planning the proposal too, after all,” she said with a triumphant smirk.

You groaned, leaning back in your chair. “How is this already news? It hasn’t even been 48 hours!”

“Seonghwa’s too high-profile, and the media are like hawks,” Nari replied, still grinning. “But hey, at least they’re calling you lucky.”

Rolling your eyes, you gave her a playful shove. “Out. And don’t you dare let this blow up any further.”

She laughed as she left the room, her voice echoing down the hallway. “No promises!”

The dining room at Seonghwa’s luxurious residence was abuzz with conversation as your family and his gathered around the long, elegantly set table. The warm glow of the chandelier illuminated the room, and the soft hum of classical music played in the background, adding to the sophisticated ambiance.

Your mother was the first to bring up the engagement party. “We’re so thrilled to host it at our mansion,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “The new flowers we planted will be in full bloom soon, and it’s the perfect setting for such a special occasion.”

Seonghwa’s mother smiled warmly. “It’s an excellent choice. Intimate, yet grand enough to accommodate everyone we’d like to invite. I’ve heard your family has hosted some of the most memorable events there.”

“Thank you,” your father chimed in, nodding. “We’ve already contacted the decorators and catering teams. They’re preparing something truly exceptional.”

Seonghwa leaned back slightly, his hand casually resting on the arm of his chair. “It sounds like everything is coming together perfectly. What about the guest list? Have we finalized it?”

Hongjoong, seated next to your father, smirked. “Oh, it’s finalized all right. Between both our families, close friends, and the necessary business connections, we’re looking at a sizable number.”

Your mother chuckled. “Not too large, though. We want it to feel personal.”

Seonghwa’s father nodded approvingly. “Good. It’s important to strike that balance.”

Then, as the plates of dessert were being served, the conversation shifted.

“When do we plan to make the public announcement?” Seonghwa’s mother asked, her gaze moving between you and Seonghwa. “There’s been plenty of speculation in the media already.”

You exchanged a quick glance with Seonghwa, who gave you a reassuring smile before speaking. “I think it would be ideal to announce it right after the engagement party,” he said. “That way, the news will come directly from us, accompanied by official photos. It’ll leave no room for misunderstandings.”

Your father nodded thoughtfully. “That’s a smart approach. We’ll also have more control over the narrative that way.”

“But won’t the media catch wind of the party itself?” your mother asked.

Seonghwa’s mother waved her hand dismissively. “Let them speculate. It’ll only build anticipation. By the time we confirm it, it’ll already be the story everyone’s waiting for.”

“Exactly,” Seonghwa agreed. Then, turning his attention to you, he added, “Of course, we’ll only proceed this way if you’re comfortable with it.”

You smiled at him, appreciating his consideration. “I think it sounds like a solid plan. Let’s do it.”

“Wonderful,” his father said, raising his glass. “To a smooth engagement and a future filled with happiness for the two of you.”

Everyone lifted their glasses, the clinking of crystal marking the moment. As the evening went on, the discussion shifted to lighter topics, but the excitement about the upcoming engagement lingered in the air, uniting both families in a shared sense of joy and anticipation.

---

Two weeks later

The engagement party was nothing short of spectacular. Your family mansion had been transformed into a stunning venue, its grand garden illuminated by thousands of twinkling fairy lights and elegant chandeliers suspended from a custom-built canopy. Guests mingled around, their laughter and conversations blending with the soft music from a live string quartet. The scent of fresh flowers—roses, lilies, and orchids—filled the air, a testament to the meticulous arrangements.

You stood near the entrance, greeting guests alongside Seonghwa. Dressed in a custom ivory gown adorned with subtle embellishments that sparkled under the lights, you felt every bit the part. Seonghwa, by your side in a perfectly tailored black tuxedo, looked effortlessly handsome, his presence commanding yet comforting.

“Y/N, you look stunning,” a guest remarked as they passed.

“Thank you,” you replied warmly, your hand instinctively slipping into Seonghwa’s.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong teased, joining you with a drink in hand. “But don’t let it get to your head.”

Seonghwa chuckled, glancing at you. “I think I’ve already won tonight.”

“You’re cheesy,” you said, suppressing a laugh.

“Only for you,” he replied with a wink, earning a playful roll of your eyes.

The evening proceeded seamlessly. The media had been carefully kept at bay, allowing everyone to enjoy the event in peace. Your parents were busy entertaining important guests, while Seonghwa’s parents mingled effortlessly, their charm evident. Friends like San, Yeosang, and Yunho made sure the atmosphere remained lively, occasionally cracking jokes and teasing Seonghwa about “finally sealing the deal.”

As you were chatting with a few guests, you noticed Mingi quickly making his way toward you and Seonghwa, his steps hurried, and Wooyoung trailing behind him, laughing so loudly it turned heads.

“Is it true?” Mingi exclaimed as he reached you, a look of mock astonishment plastered on his face. “Is it actually true? You really did it?”

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow but couldn’t hide his smile. “I placed the order for it that day at the store while buying Y/N’s ring. It arrived today.”

Mingi gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. “Oh my! The wealthy are insane!”

You blinked, thoroughly confused by the exchange. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re wealthy too, Mingi,” Yeosang quipped, joining the group.

“Not as much as lover boy here, clearly!” Mingi shot back, causing Wooyoung to laugh even harder.

“Seriously, what’s going on?” you asked, looking between the men.

Seonghwa chuckled softly, placing a hand on your lower back and gently steering you toward a nearby table. On it sat a sleek, golden-colored vase filled with intricate crystal flowers, their facets sparkling brilliantly under the soft lighting.

You tilted your head, confused by the reaction the simple centerpiece seemed to provoke. “It’s just a vase with crystal flowers. Why is everyone acting so weird?”

“Oh my god!” Mingi exclaimed, dramatically pointing at the vase. “You actually did it!”

“Did what?” you asked, glancing at Seonghwa, who looked more amused by the second.

Hongjoong approached with a sly grin. “I think I need to explain this to my dear sister,” he said, picking up the vase with exaggerated reverence. “These aren’t just crystals, Y/N. These flowers are made of diamonds. And the vase? That’s solid gold.”

Your jaw dropped as the realization hit. “No way,” you breathed, horrified yet slightly in awe.

“Yup, solid gold vase, diamond flowers. You’re engaged to a madman,” Hongjoong teased, handing the vase back to Seonghwa with a smirk.

“Hold on,” you said, still trying to process. “Why would you even…?”

“Y/N being surprised is so funny to me because this probably costs like 0.03% of her net worth,” Yeosang said to Mingi, causing him to gasp in horror while doing the math in his head.

Before Seonghwa could answer you, Wooyoung burst in, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. “Because of me!” he announced proudly. “We were at Mingi’s bar when Seonghwa was freaking out about what flowers to get you. I joked that he should just give you flower-shaped diamonds since he’s so loaded. And this lunatic actually went and did it!”

“Seriously?” you asked, staring at Seonghwa, who looked entirely unapologetic.

He shrugged, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Why settle for regular flowers when I can give you ones that last forever?”

You groaned, burying your face in your hands while the others burst into laughter. “You’re impossible.”

As the evening wore on, the party reached its highlight.

A soft chime rang out, signaling that it was time for the formal announcement. Seonghwa gently took your hand and led you to the center of the garden, where a small stage had been set up. The crowd naturally gravitated toward you, forming a semicircle around the stage.

Seonghwa stepped forward, his hand still holding yours, and addressed the crowd. “Good evening, everyone. Thank you for joining us on this very special night. Today marks the beginning of a new chapter, not just for me, but for us.” He glanced at you, his gaze tender and full of love.

You felt a wave of warmth, his words wrapping around you like a protective embrace.

“This isn’t just a union of two people,” he continued, “but a blending of families, dreams, and futures. I’m honored and deeply grateful to have Y/N by my side. She’s more than I could ever ask for.”

The guests erupted into applause, some cheering loudly.

He turned to you, his voice soft enough that only you could hear. “Would you like to say anything?”

You smiled, stepping closer to the microphone. “Thank you all for being here tonight. This means so much to us. And I want to thank Seonghwa—” you turned to him, your smile growing—“for his patience, his kindness, and for always being someone I can count on. I’m looking forward to spending forever with you.”

The applause grew louder, and you felt Seonghwa’s hand squeeze yours gently.

Champagne glasses were passed around as the announcement concluded, and the guests toasted to your happiness. As you clinked glasses with Seonghwa, he leaned in and whispered, “We have more celebrations tonight.”

You blushed, knowing exactly what he meant. The party continued with dancing, laughter, and endless congratulations, but for you and Seonghwa, the night had already become unforgettable.

The time had come. The highly anticipated announcement of your engagement was finally being made. But instead of the usual press conference where personal details were shared, both you and Seonghwa had decided to make the announcement with a joint statement from your companies. It was a more formal, yet still deeply personal, way to publicly confirm your relationship and future plans.

The statement was prepared, the details carefully chosen. Your family’s PR team had worked closely with Seonghwa’s to craft the perfect message, one that emphasized both the personal and professional aspects of your union, highlighting not only your relationship but the strength of the bond between your families and their businesses.

The joint statement was released via your respective companies' official websites and social media accounts, accompanied by a few carefully selected photos of the two of you together. It quickly spread across the business world and social media platforms.

Joint Statement from Byeol Materials Group and Aurum Medical Technologies

It is with great pleasure that we announce the engagement of Park Seonghwa, CEO of Byeol Materials Group, and Kim Y/N, CEO of Aurum Medical Technologies. The decision to formalize their relationship has been made with the full support of both families, who have worked closely together for many years.

In addition to the personal significance of this engagement, this union also symbolizes the continued partnership between Byeol Materials Group and Aurum Medical Technologies as well as the Celestia Group, solidifying a longstanding collaboration that has benefited both our companies and the broader industry.

While this is a deeply personal milestone for CEO Park Seonghwa and CEO Kim Y/N, both parties are committed to continuing their professional work in their respective roles and furthering the legacies of both businesses. We are excited about the future and look forward to what lies ahead as they embark on this new chapter together.

We would like to express our gratitude for the continued support from all our partners, clients, and stakeholders, and we look forward to sharing more with you in the near future.

The message was clear: the engagement was not just a personal matter but also a business decision, an alliance between two powerful families that would benefit both professionally and personally. The timing was strategic, and the tone of the statement was one of unity, strength, and mutual respect.

The reactions came in waves. The business world buzzed with excitement and curiosity, and the media quickly picked up the announcement. People from all corners of the industry began speculating about the potential ramifications of the union, from its impact on the companies to what it meant for future ventures.

But you and Seonghwa knew that this was just the beginning of the next chapter, both professionally and personally.

After the statement was released, the phones began ringing off the hook. Wooyoung had already fielded countless calls from business partners and investors, all eager to congratulate him and express their support. Your own team was handling a similar influx of calls, from acquaintances to business associates who had all read the news with varying degrees of excitement and curiosity.

Seonghwa glanced at you, his eyes meeting yours with an almost playful intensity. “Well, that went smoothly.”

You grinned, feeling the weight of the moment. “You could say that again.”

“I mean, the hard part’s over now, right?” He chuckled, looking at you with a raised brow.

You raised an eyebrow in return, smirking. “You think so? I think this is just the beginning.”

His smile deepened, and he stepped closer to you, his voice low and teasing. “We’ll see about that.”

The atmosphere between you and Seonghwa shifted, a comfortable silence hanging between you both as you exchanged glances. The buzz of congratulatory messages and business calls surrounding you seemed to fade into the background, leaving only the two of you in the moment.

Seonghwa reached out, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering at your skin. His gaze softened, and for a moment, the weight of the business world, the PR statements, and the expectations all melted away. It was just you two.

"Are you happy?" he asked, his voice a little more serious now, a quiet vulnerability in his tone that you rarely heard.

You tilted your head slightly, considering the question. Your initial response was to make light of it, to tease him, but something about the sincerity in his eyes stopped you. Instead, you answered honestly.

"Yeah," you replied with a small smile. "I am. I'm nervous, though. There’s a lot of pressure, you know?"

Seonghwa nodded in understanding. "I get it. But we’ll take it one step at a time. We’re in it together."

You smiled softly at his words. The comfort in his voice, the way he made sure to acknowledge your feelings even in this whirlwind of changes—it made the idea of marrying him, of officially committing to this, a little less daunting.

"Together," you repeated, the weight of the word settling into your chest. "I think we can handle it."

He took a step closer, his hand resting gently on your waist as he leaned in slightly. "We already are," he said quietly, brushing his lips against your temple before pulling back just enough to look at you. "We’ll face whatever comes together. And besides..." He paused, his playful smirk returning. "Planning for the wedding is going to be a breeze compared to what we’ve already been through."

You chuckled, feeling the tension in your shoulders start to ease. "I have a feeling the real fun’s just about to start."

Seonghwa grinned at that, his eyes alight with mischief. "Oh, I’m sure of it."

End of Part Four.

59 notes · View notes

oddly-casual · 2 days ago

Text

A thought I have pretty often but don’t have the brain to properly express is the fact that between the Girlymatsu’s and the regular matsu’s the only one who doesn’t share her signature color with her counter part is Osoko.

Like obviously it’s in the back of her intro card, and it’s Osoko so we know red is supposed to be her color.

She wears red in all the added merch and bonus content too. Off the top of my head there’s the Jyushimatsu dolphin episode, Tabimatsu, and hesokuri wars. All of which she wears red unless it’s a special set or she changes back into her work uniform.

It could really be nothing, but it always kind of threw me off. All the other girls get their signature color, why not Osoko?

Even if it’s in a subtle way they could’ve done it. Like with the pine pattern on ichiko’s dress or Jyshiko’s bright blonde hair and colored contacts.

Osoko’s makeup is more pink than it is red. So where’d her red go? I had a few thoughts on this so I’m gonna spit some shit.

1. Shes trying to blend in

In the episode she’s introduced in, she gives this big talk about how woman are supposed to be. Being independent, knowing when not to let other men pay for you, being young and approachable. She says all this but so easily snaps the next second. My only guess for why she snaps so quick is because she does that with friends.

With her friends Osoko has no problems being angry, making faces, yelling at them, etc. We don’t know how she is outside of her friend group, but from the way she describes herself it doesn’t seem like she acts the same around everyone.

Osoko is a working woman, she has to be all those things to survive the work place. Bold, but not too bold. Red is a very bold color.

Red lipstick is mature, but it also might hint at promiscuity for some older folk and people who like to talk shit. Meanwhile pink is a more cuter and toned down version of red, that’s why Osoko wears it as makeup instead. She wants to come off as light and fun and cute when that’s not who she really is.

2. She wants to seem younger

It’s brought up a couple times and the show kind of hints at it, but Osoko and Karako are supposed to be the older so believe.

They dress more mature and scold the others for being immature, and the comment jyushiko makes about them being old and unable to have children looks like it seriously pisses them off.

Osoko talks about youth a lot in her first episode, especially about how it makes her seem cuter. You’d think it would be a Todoko thing, but Osoko mentions it more than once when she talks. Meaning being cute and young (compared to her older male coworkers) instead of being headstrong or beautiful, is important to her.

Karako wears red heals and red lipstick but I think that’s just her style. She is bold, her personality is loud and just like how Karamatsu likes wearing shades and leather jackets to seem like a cool guy, Karako probably wears red to show maturity and maybe even a bit of sensuality.

Meanwhile Osoko, who doesn’t like the fact that she’s getting older, wears a more youthful color. Being pink. Even putting it on her cheeks to add to the youthful look.

3. Identity crisis

Pretty much everyone knows about Osomatsu’s identity issues. He very obviously has no personality of his own and it shows- mainly in the fact that while everyone has their own casual outfits that show off their identity, Osomatsu still wears the family symbol on his plain red hoodie.

I don’t think the girlymatsu’s are supposed to be sisters, they call each other friends and have never been mentioned to be related. They are all very visually distinct from each other, and their personalities are on full display all the time in just how they dress.

There would be no need for the girlymatsu’s to wear distinct colors because there would be no need to differentiate them from each other.

The show does it anyway, obviously, because fuck it why not it’s cute- but again, Osoko doesn’t.

It could be because, like Osomatsu, Osoko has no idea who she truly is. She pours herself into this older sister persona to lure men in (her words), but she’s loud and crude and judgmental when separated from that.

Just like how Osomatsu makes his family his identity, I think Osoko makes work her identity. She wears her work clothes out and about, even when she’s on vacation. In season 2 when she dresses out of her wet suit she’s in her uniform again- and we know nothing about her personal life, not even in the small tidbits we get from the other characters.

I truly think identity issues is something every version of Osomatsu is faced with. Even if it’s not that, idk I just think it’s interesting. If you made it this far, kiss kiss.

Live laugh love Osoko.

#osomatsu san #fandom #ososan #osoko #girlymatsu #osomatsu san analysis #does this count as an analysis???#I was just kind of going through a bunch of assets mainly Heo wars and Tabi and I noticed like-#most of the boys keep their signature color but specifically Osomatsu will be the odd one out #like they don’t always keep all the colors but they’ll make the effort to put it in subtly #except for Osomatsu who just wears black or gray #that got me thinking about the girlymatsu’s and their color significance #as you can see I went down the rabbit hole #I’m tempted to do more posts about who the girlymatsu’s might be because just doing Osoko was fun #Me zooming in on Osoko’s face: The pink is pink because she likes pink #Ososan season 4 #bring back my girls bring back all my girls

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wonderfulwitchwillow · 2 days ago

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So like, when anyone thinks Ravenloft you probably think of Curse of Strahd. Or hell Curse of Strahd as a standalone thing. Like its one of the most popular modules of all time. But Curse of Strahd is an adaptation. One of many adaptations of 1st edition's I6: Ravenloft.

It got me wondering, how many people have actually taken time to look at this module who weren't playing in the 80s. I wasn't even alive in the 80s, and when this module came out my father was in high school playing D&D. So I doubt alot of people go back and really look at some of these older modules. And I happen to be a collector/lore nerd for all things Ravenloft. So what exactly is different? I have somewhat compiled my thoughts into a semi-cohesive analysis of I6 and Curse of Strahd.

Alot, and I do mean alot, of the module is similar to the opening and the castle in Curse of Strahd so this is your warning for spoilers for the module. I intend to talk about every major (and some minor) changes between 1st editions Ravenloft and 5th editions Curse of Strahd and give some of my commentary on what I have found, and some notes about random related facts. I am not going to discuss the overall narrative of I6 or Curse of Strahd since the only major narrative differences is in the Castle, which I do discuss in detail in that section of the post. I also know there are other adapations of I6 Ravenloft, 2nd edition has House of Ravenloft and 3rd edition has Expedition to Castle Ravenloft, but I am analyzing 1st edition and 5th edition's design choices; if I focused on all the editions, I would need more than just 1 super long post; plus Expedition to Castle Ravenloft really deserves its own post since its canon is separate from the greater ravenloft canon of second and third edition. Forgive me if my photos suck, I am using my phone and my shadows keep showing up. I have several things I want to say before I get started proper; I6 uses some derogatory words for the Vistani people, a ethnic group in Ravenloft not subtly based on the Romani people. These words may appear in some of my images but I am going to do my best to avoid showing them and the slurs will not appear in my text. I make mention of this because the Vistani are not refereed to as the Vistani in I6 but in all other versions of the module and the setting as a whole, they are called the Vistani. This is something that is an issue in second and third edition when it comes to the Ravenloft setting. It is at times, very racist. And I would not be doing justice to those who are harmed without mentioning the use of slurs or racial caricatures for a real ethnic group in this module. I am not going to talk more about them in the module since their presence outside of Madam Eva is small and racist; serving as minions of Strahd with a neutral evil alignment; which this alone is incredibly disgusting by making a real group of people evil. The harm started with this module and it is something that everyone who interacts with Ravenloft, regardless of canon, take caution and care with handling. I added IDs to each photo to help as well. I shall be discussing the module under the cut.

Part 0 - extra bits and forward

This post is incredibly long, I have tried to add mini-headers for each major subsection of this post because as I was working on it, it somewhat ballooned in scope and I want it to be fairly readable for those who are interested.

Onto the module discussion

Part 1 - Cover and maps

Forgive me for having a section just dedicated to the maps but as you would soon find out, its quite extensive in detail.

[ID]

A cardboard outer sleeve with the words Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Official Game Adventure Ravenloft. Below the title is a landscape image in a gothic horror art style.

The image is of the vampire count Strahd von Zarovich standing on his castle's walled balcony overlooking a misty cliff side. On the railing of the balcony sits two gargoyle statues. The castle itself is behind Strahd with a gateway being directly behind him. There are two castle spires, one in the foreground cut off by the artwork, one in the background with the spire's peak nearly visible. The castle's battlements are behind the right spire and go from the upper center of the artwork to the edge on the right. There is a lightning strike in the upper right corner along with bats flying out of the right spire into the night. Mist fills the lower right corner, obscuring the spire.

Below the artwork is a line of marketing text- "The master of Ravenloft is having guests for dinner - and you are invited. Ravenloft is an adventure for 6 to 8 players of levels 5 to 7." Below this is the TSR logo, which is an outline of the letters "T" "S" and "R". Below the logo is the copyright information "TSR, Inc. Products of your imagination. Advanced Dungeons & Dragons and Products of your imagination are trademarks of TSR. Inc."

[End ID]

I think I am not alone in saying but the first edition module covers are iconic. It is this generic fantasy style now but like that style is timeless to me. Its Strahd looking menacing over the chapel outlook's balcony. Its incredibly imposing. Its a different vibe and I don't think the other modules ever nail the vibe that Strahd is menacing on the cover art. He is waiting to strike or overlooking his lands. Though Curse of Strahd cover is probably my second favorite because he is less of a monster and more of a noble playing a game which is far closer to how he is played as a villian. Strahd always changing his appearance to fit in with what we consider "fantasy" for the era. I am fascinated with older editions of D&D so it makes sense why I would love this art so much. It is absolutely my taste and I am biased.

[ID]

The image contains two documents on a wooden table. The document on the left is the same document as the first image, cardboard outer sleeve On the top of the sleeve above this title is an orange header with "I6" on the left corner and "9075" on the right corner which wasn't visible in the first image.

The second document is a map folded in half showing only the right potion of the map. The map has a white margin surrounding the entire map as a a border. The top of the map has a repeating pattern lining the edge of the map invoking a gothic crown molding. The right edge of the map has a marble pillar going from the top to the bottom of the map, serving as a border. The map's legend is in the right corner. The contents of the legend are in a white box. The words Ravenloft stylized in bold font are above the rest of the legend. The Letters R and T in Ravenloft have gargoyle heads extending outwards to face the edges of the the legend. The legend is organized into 4 rows with 3 columns. The legend shows off several colors with associated elevations: Light green is associated with Elevation 0-49 feet", Dark Green is Elevation 50-99 feet. Blue Green is Elevation 100-999 feet. Purple is Elevation 1000-1499 FT. and is the end of the first column. At the start of the second column is the last color, a Reddish Purple is Elevation 1500+ feet. Continuing down the second column there are shapes to indicate map elements. Lines repeating next to each other vertically indicate a cliff wall, two parallel lines that complete indicate a road, and two parallel lines that are dashed indicate a trail. The third column shows more colors to represent buildings that are occupied: A brown rectangle indicates an occupied house. A light brown rectangle indicates an unoccupied house. A small light brown square indicates an unoccupied store. The last icon on the legend is a red rectangle indicating an Encounter Building. Bellow the columns and the width of the rows is text "Scale: 1 hex = 200 feet". Bellow the legend is a title. "Map 1. Lands of Barovia"

The map starts at the right and flows left following a white road. The maps elevation up to the city remains light green with the northern portion of the city, near a point labeled E7, becoming dark green. North and south of the road is a woods. The road starts near the letter A passing through what appears to be a gate labeled B Continuing we see two hexes with the letters C on the map on the left and right adjacent hexes. Following the road is the village of barovia, with houses indicating occupancy. There are several red houses each labeled with corresponding letters. The center has E1 and E2. South is E3, E5, and E4. North is E6 and E7. The road heads south west from the village, passing E and ending at a gate before the fold cuts off the map. Below the village is a river labeled D.

[End ID]

Moving to the actual contents for a moment - how many folks know that these sleeves/covers are not attached at all? I store my older books in comic book sleeves with backs. I don't know if this was a cost cutting measure or if comic book storage was the original intention since I could see the same communities overlapping in the 80s but like, if someone knows why, please let me know. I am so curious. I know they made comics that were released around the same time, made by DC in the 80s and 90s, so its not a stretch to say that it was expected to store modules like comic books.

[ID]

A folded out display of several maps for Castle Ravenloft as isometric cross sections. The sleeve contains Map 2. Walls of Ravenloft, Map 5. Rooms of weeping. Map 6, Map 7, Map 8, Map 9 and Map 10 all of which are associated with the Spires of Ravenloft. In the bottom left corner is a front facing image of the entire castle with size guide displaying the full height of the castle including the spire. The total height of the castle is 360 ft. The break points shown along the way up to the total height are associated with floor sizes for each of the associated maps. The maps 5 through 10 are stacked on top of each other such that 10 is at the top and 5 is at the bottom of the sleeve.

Map 5 contains a hallway with a stairwell leading down labeled K46, a bedroom labeled K42, additional rooms labeled K41, K43, K44, K45, K36, and K37 along with several corridors labeled K39, K38, and K40. There are additional stairways labeled K21, K18, and K20. Map 5 is 40 feet from floor to ceiling.

Map 6 contains roof tops labeled K53, a chimney labeled K52, 4 interconnected rooms labeled K51, K50, K49 and K47, the same stairways from Map 5 labeled K18, K20 and the top of K21 which ends in room K47, and a new stairway labeled K48 which is connected to room K47. Map 6 is 40 feet from floor to ceiling.

Map 7 contains the Straiways K20, K18, and K48. Three rooms are attached to each other. K55 is attached to both K54 and K56. K54 is attached to the stairwell K48. Map 7 is 40 feet from floor to ceiling.

Map 8 has the stairway K48 end as it reaches a spire's battlements, labeled K57. There is a stone bridge linking to the stairway K20 labeled K58. K20 continues to ascend to map 9 but depected on Map 8 is a heart. K18 continues to climb and will reach its peak in map 10. Map 8 is 20 feet higher than map 7.

Map 9 starts 50 feet from map 8 with a spire's battlements as the ending for the stairs. This room is labeled K60.

Map 10 is the peak for the stairs K18. It is spire with a pointed roof. The room is labeled 59 while the enter of the stairs is now accessible, a fall of 380 feet, labeled K18a.

Returning to the left side of the sleeve, above the front facing image is Map 2. This map is the courtyard of the castle along with some ground floor elements. The front yard entrance is labeled K1, the side gates to the back of courtyard are labeled K2, the carriage house is labeled K4, the chapel is k5 and the outlook is K6. The gate leading into the courtyard is labeled J

Above map 2 is a full 3d side view of the castle. It has the spires indicated in Map 8, 9, and 10 along with the rooftops from map 7. The walls are also clearly visible along with the chapel. The stable house is also visible but the outlook is just a flat floor.

[End ID]

Back to the sleeve, if we open it, its a map of Castle Ravenloft! Its isometric and how in the hell do you keep this hidden from your players if you ever need to refer to it while in session? You probably have to grab it out and review it as you draw on some kind of graphing paper and attach it with tape together or something or just draw it out before the game starts and come to your weekly game night with it all prepared, like how we do it now. Its also wild that this sleeve isn't attached in anyway. If you lose either this outer sleeve or inner sleeve with even more maps, you just lose all the maps. I did not grow up in the 80s or 90s when this was the way you would play, 5th edition was my first edition, so again, was this ever a problem? I could see it being a problem since cardboard is not sturdy at all and I am terrified in tearing it accidently. The pricing was also around $7 to $9 in the 80s which would be about $22 to $28, which is cheaper than modules are now but no where near cheap enough to justify the cardboard and the paper quality.

Anyway, the castle itself is 360 feet tall which is massive for an actual castle. Though most of the height is the main spire with the Heart of Sorrow like we all know all love, referred to as the Guardian of Sorrow in I6. If you did the math with all the heights for maps shown, it wouldn't be 360 ft. That is because the rest of the maps are on the inner sleeve, which is two sided. The other side has the map of Barovia, which you have gotten a sneak peak at. Lets finish up on the outer sleeve before moving to the inner sleeve with more maps.

[ID]

An outer cardboard sleeve with the following words: "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons" "Official Game Adventure" "Ravenloft" "by Tracey and Laura Hickman"

"Under raging stormclouds, a lone figure stands silhouetted against the ancient walls of castle Ravenloft. Count Strahd von Zarovich stares down a sheer cliff at the village below. A cold, bitter wind spins dead leave about him, billowing his cape in the darkness."

"Lightning splits the clouds overhead, casting stark white light across him. Strahd turns to the sky, revealing the angular muscles of his face and hands. He has a look of power - and of madness. His once-handsome face is contorted by a tragedy darker than the night itself."

"Rumbling thunder pounds the castle spires. The wind's howling increases as Strahd turns his gaze back to the village. Far below, yet not beyond his keen eyesight, a part of adventurers has just entered his domain. Strahd's face forms a twisted smile as his dark plan unfolds. He knew they were coming, and he knows why they came. All according to his plan. He, the master of Ravenloft, will attend to them."

"Another lightning flash rips through the darkness, its thunder echoing through the castle's towers. But Strahd is gone. Only the howling of the wind - or perhaps a lone wolf - fills the midnight air. The master of Ravenloft is having guests for dinner. And you are invited. "

"ISBN 0-88038-942-X" "394-53465-4TSR0600" Below this text is a logo for TSR. Beneith the logo is additional text: "TSR, Inc. Products of your Imagination" On the left margin of the sleeve is a barcode within a white box with the number 0 at the start of the barcode and the number 3 at the end. Beneath the barcode but within the white box is the following string of numbers "46363 09075"

[End ID]

On the reverse of the outer sleeve, its a bunch of information on the module itself. I'll use this time to talk a bit about the creators - though I'll admit I don't know as much as I should. Tracey and Laura Hickman are iconic authors and module designers for the early years of D&D and especially Dragonlance. They also created the second edition version of I6, House of Strahd, Ravenloft 2 House on Griffin Hill (A story for another day) and so many more works. If you see their names on something, its going to be good from my experience. Its also why Dragonlance is so interconnect to Ravenloft to an extent or that's what I think atleast. Though Ravenloft is interconnected to every major setting TSR had at the time (Greyhawk, Forgotten Realms, Dragonlance, and Dark Sun all have characters and dread domains from their universes). Anyway back to the Hickmans. Their works are considered what made D&D jump from just dungeon crawling to more narrative experiences and Ravenloft absolutely shows this. This culminated when Tracy pushed forward on his work in creating Dragonlance, which is one of the biggest settings for D&D. I am sadly not super knowledgably about Dragonlance but we can really feel this shift in module design moving from I6 onward. I6 has a lot of notable steps in module design, the biggest being the maps!

[ID] An image of a map. The map has a white margin surrounding the entire map as a a border. The top of the map has a repeating pattern lining the edge of the map invoking a gothic crown molding. The right and left edge of the map has a marble pillar going from the top to the bottom of the map, serving as the maps' border.

The map's legend is in the right corner. The contents of the legend are in a white box. The words Ravenloft stylized in bold font are above the rest of the legend. The Letters R and T in Ravenloft have gargoyle heads extending outwards to face the edges of the the legend. The legend is organized into 4 rows with 3 columns. The legend shows off several colors with associated elevations: Light green is associated with "Elevation 0-49 feet", Dark Green is Elevation 50-99 feet. Blue Green is Elevation 100-999 feet. Purple is Elevation 1000-1499 FT. and is the end of the first column. At the start of the second column is the last color, a Reddish Purple is Elevation 1500+ feet. Continuing down the second column there are shapes to indicate map elements. Lines repeating next to each other vertically indicate a cliff wall, two parallel lines that complete indicate a road, and two parallel lines that are dashed indicate a trail. The third column shows more colors to represent buildings that are occupied: A brown rectangle indicates an occupied house. A light brown rectangle indicates an unoccupied house. A small light brown square indicates an unoccupied store. The last icon on the legend is a red rectangle indicating an Encounter Building. Bellow the columns and the width of the rows is text "Scale: 1 hex = 200 feet". Bellow the legend is a title. "Map 1. Lands of Barovia"

The map starts at the right and flows left following a white road. The maps elevation up to the city remains light green with the northern portion of the city, near a point labeled E7, becoming dark green. North west of the village the color shifts to being blue green before shifting to purple and sections of redish purple representing mountain peaks. Continuing west, the map remains purple with reddish purple mount peaks scattered throughout.

North and south of the road is a woods. The road starts near the letter A passing through what appears to be a gate labeled B . Continuing we see two hexes we see the letters C on the map on the left and right adjacent hexes. Following the road is the village of barovia, with houses indicating occupancy. There are several red houses each labeled with a corresponding letters. The center has E1 and E2. South is E3, E5, and E4. North is E6 and E7. The road heads south west from the village, passing E continuing to a branching path marked by the letter F.

The northern branch flows north before becoming a trail passing landmarks G1 and G before meeting back up with the main road at a bridge. The southern branch flows around woods and turns north before bending south east around a mountain. The road continues to follow this mountain until the road bends north to meet a bridge, labeled H. The road flows around another mountain before going north and reaching a fork in the road, indicated by the letter I. The fork heading north is blocked by a gate, indicated by the letter B. The road continuing north and west off of the map. The fork flowing east winds through the mountains until it reaches a drawbridge gate indicated by the letter J. The road ends at a castle indicated by the letter K. Following the entire road is a river that flows through the first bridge, meeting up with the trail with G and G1, passing under bridge H, then continuing west before the river is off the map

[End ID]

There is an inner sleeve with more maps and the map of Barovia itself which is very familiar to those who know the map from 5th edition. It looks like you could just place it out and play right on it using a token to represent the players because its gorgeous and heavily colorized. Each color meaning different elevations since Barovia is so mountainous and hilly. The map only goes up to Castle Ravenloft, that is because Barovia would be expanded when Ravenloft itself gets expaded in second edition with its AD&D box set, modules, and lorebooks. The whole story we know with "I, Strahd" would be years later. The village of Barovia looks much larger than we would assume but the general town's make up and people don't change much on the way to 5th edition. WotC did a good job on preserving the setup for Curse of Strahd.

On the Reverse of this inner sleeve we see more maps of Castle Ravenloft and again, its very similar to what we know in 5e.

[ID]

A folded out display of several maps for Castle Ravenloft as isometric cross sections. The display contains the following maps: Map 4. Court of the Count, Map 3. Main Floor, Map 11. Larders of Ill Omen, and Map 12. Dungeon and Catacombs. Above Map 12 is a compass. In the bottom left of the display is the following text "1983 TSR, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 119-I-9075". Along the left of the maps is the height from floor to ceiling for each map. To the left of the maps is a key for the maps. This key is two columns and 21 rows. The first column uses flat 2d images; the second column represents the image from the first row in an isometric view, mirroring the maps.

The first row represents doors with a square and a thick line extending from the center of the left and right sides. The second row represents double doors with rectangle divided in half by a vertical line with a thick line extending from the center of the left and right sides. The third row represents secret and standard doors with a square missing one side, the letter S being placed inside this incomplete square, with a thick line extending from center of the left and right sides. The fourth row represents secret doors with the letter S with a thick line in the left and right side of the letter. The fifth row represents one way secret doors with the letter S with an arrow passing through the letter with a thick line on the top and bottom of the letter. The sixth row represents teleport traps using several small staggered inverted Vs. The seventh row represents trap doors in the floor using the letter T in a solid circle. The eight row represents trap doors in the ceiling with the letter T surrounded with a dashed circle. The ninth row represents windows with a white rectangle surrounded with a black rectangle while the isometric view shows a white trapezoid instead in the rectangle. The tenth row represents arrow slits using a black rectangle with a white triangle in the middle. The eleventh row represents bars and portcullises with sequential circles. The twelfth row represents brazier with a circle with an inner ring while the isometric view shows a brazier. The thirteenth row represents ladders with a ladder. The fourteenth row represents stairs with lines reducing in size making a shape of a triangle from left to right while the isometric depiction is a set of stairs. The fifteenth row represents spiral stairs with lines that reduce in size and curve inward while the isometric view is a spiral staircase. The sixteenth row represents a bed with a bed. The seventeenth row represents a chair and thrown with a top down cube with the isometric view is a chair. The eighteenth row represents railing with 4 black dots connected with a line, while the isometric view displays a railing. The nineteenth row represents a statue with a circle containing a black star. The twentieth row represents a curtain using a thick black squiggly line with 4 humps. Lastly, the twenty-first row represents water with repeating waves as rows while isometric view is a wavy layer on top of a white square with scattered dots. Below the key is the text: Scale: 1 Square = 10 feet.

Map 12, labeled Dungeon and Catacombs, is the largest of the maps in the image. K84 is the largest room in the map with several small one square rooms labeled 2 through 40. 1 represents a door connected to room K81. North and south of K84 are the rooms K85 and K86. Both of these rooms are mirrors of each other. East of K84 is a hallway labeled K87 with a room at the end labeled K88. Opposite of this hallway attached to K84 on the west is a stairwell labeled K18a and a stairway labeled K18. Continuing from K81 there is a trap on the floor that leads into K82, a slide that leads into K74. Across the trap is the hallway labeled K80. A staircase is attached K80 leading to the room K78. K78 has a brazier along with two statues. There are three staircases leading out of K78: the left most stairwell is K72 with the associated text "Up 70 feet to Map 11, K72", the center is K80, and the right stairwell is K83. The door out of K78 leads to room K77 which is divided by a Curtain with two chairs overlooking another room, labeled K76. K76 is flooded with water and to east is a hallway Labeled K73. K73 is also flooded which has two rooms branching north labeled K74 and south labeled K75. Both K74 and K75 are prisons with cells labeled A through H and are flooded. Attached at the end of the K73 is a staircase labeled K21. The height from floor to ceiling of map 12 is 50 ft

Map 11, labeled Larders of Ill Omen, has two stairwells that are not attached to the main map, both K18 and K831. K18A is a empty cylinder that the stairs of K18 wrap around. K18 has the following associated text "Up 30 feet to rubble blockage then 10 feet past rubble to map 3, K18". Starting in the top left corner of the map, the stairway K79 leads up to a secret door attached to K72. K72 leads into a the K70. K70 has two attached rooms, K71 to the east and K67 to the south. K71 features a stairway K20a with the following associated text: "Up 40 Feet to Map 3". K67 is a room with a double door leading to K62 to the east and K68 to the south. K68 is a hallway with the room K69 attached to the west and the stairway K64 to the south with the following associated text " Up 40 feet to map 3". K69 has 10 sections divided by walls, 5 on the north and south walls of the rooms. Room K62 has 4 rooms attached to the hallway, K66 to the north, K65 to the north but east of K66, a unnumbered room with the staircase K21, and K63 to the east behind bars. K62 has a stairway to the north, east of K65 with the following associated text "up 40 feet to map 3". In the room containing K21 there is a trapdoor between the staircase and the door to K62. The staircase K21 has the following associated text "Up 40 feet to Map 3". The height from floor to ceiling of map 11 is 40 ft.

Map 3, labeled Main Floor, contains a entry hall out to the courtyard of the castle, labeled K7. Next to K7, unattached to any of the rooms in Map 3, is the staircase K83. K7 is attached to one room, K8. K8 is attached three rooms, K14 to the east, K9 to the south, and K19 by a staircase to the north with the following text "Up 30 feet". K19 leads to another staircase with the text "Up 20 feet to map 4". K9 is connected to the staircase K21 to the east and the room K10 to the west. K21 leads up to Map 4. In the wall north of K21 is a hole labeled K31a. K10 is a large room with a secret door the the east, leading to K11. K11 leads to the a hallway, K13. K13 is attached to K11 with a northern hall and attached to the room K12 to the west. At the end of hall k13 is the staircase K64 with the following text "Up 50 feet Map 4, Down 40 feet to Map 11". K14 is a hall that leads into K15. K15 is a large room with two passages, K16 to the northwest and K17 to the southwest, which are attached to two separate stairways. K16 is attached to the stairwell K29. K17 is attached to the stairway K18 and the hollow cylinder K18a with the following text: "Down 10 feet to new wall down pas wall 80 feet to map 12". Unattached to the rest of the map and north of K14 is the room K20. K20 contains the stairway K20a and an unlabeled stairway with the associated text "Up 50 feet". A hallway labeled K13 leads into K20. At the west end of K13 is a round room labeled K12. The south end of K12 leads into a small room labeled K22. Connected to the outside and unconnected to the rest of map, east of K20, is the room K23. K23 has a staircase leading down with the associated text "Down 40 feet to map 11". The room to the north of K23 is K24. K24 has a stairway that leads up with the associated words "Up 30 feet to map 4". The height from floor to ceiling of map 3 is 50 ft.

Map 4, labeled Court of the Count, contains a throne room. This throne room, labeled K25, is located in the western half of the map and is connected to two stairwells which lead back to K19. There is a secret door in front of the throne on the south wall of K25 which leads into K13. The eastern end of K13 is a stairwell labeled K64 with the following associated text "Up 40 feet down 50 feet". To the north of K13 is the room K12. To east of K13 is the room K22. K25 has two additional rooms attached, K26 attached with a set of double doors, and K30, attached with a single door. K30 has a set of stairs labeled K21 with the following associated text "Up 40 feet down 50 feet". K26 is a small hallway with a secret door to the north that connects to the room K33 and a double door to the east that connects to K27. K33 connects to room K32 to the west and hallway K13 to the north with a secret door. Similar to the other hallway labeled as K13, to leads to two rooms and a stairwell. The room K12 is in the same location as the previous K12. K22 is to the south of K13. To the west of K13 is a large stairwell labeled K20. The stairwell K20 leads up and down and has a secret door that leads to a ladder with the following text: "Ladder up 20 feet from K34 to K20". The ladder leads to an additional secret door that that leads into the room K34. K34 has a staircase leading down off the map. K27 is a long hallway that leads to another set of double doors connected to K28. A secret door is in the middle of the southern wall connecting K27 to K31. K31 has a hole next to the small room labeled K31a. K28 has two chairs and a outcropping that overlooks the main floor over K15 that is 50 feet in the air. K28 has a stairwell that leads down to Map 3 labeled K29. To the south of K27, to the west of K28 and to the east of K31 is the stairwell K18 and the cylinder K18a. The height from floor to ceiling of map 4 is 40 ft.

[End ID]

I want to say before moving on to the module, that these maps are immaculate. Like now we are spoiled with battlemaps in modules and how they are designed but back in the 80s, they had black and white paper that feels like its a elementary workbook. Its fairly cheap feeling. Where I could describe modern books as more textbook in quality. So imagine then you had these black and white books to use for making maps. These sleeves are so much higher quality and the color is beautiful if you ask me. I can see how a dm could run this dungeon flawlessly. Even know the castle is massive and yet it always goes off without any issues. Its a testament to good dungeon design and displaying information to the dm and players. Its one of those tales that these maps are what made I6 Ravenloft popular; again I don't know any old school ttrpg fans who played this when it was new but I could absolutely see it. During my researching, this is one of the biggest factors in what made Ravenloft popular. That and of course our beloved Strahd von Zarovich.

Now onto the actual module. I am not going to have a photo of each section of the module since there is alot but I will be showing off all the images in the module plus anything of note. The layout of the module itself makes sense from a ease of access but compaired to modern module layouts, it a bit jumpy. First is Strahd's stat block and his personality. It makes sense to put this first since he is the villain and you will need to have ready access to it. Second is the fortune reading, called "Fortunes of Ravenloft". Then onto the actual setup for the module following the similar steps to what we have come to expect from Curse of Strahd: The lands of Barovia, Barovia Village, Tser pool encampment, and Castle Ravenloft. Then statblocks for the rest of the monsters. I am not going to go over the narrative of I6 since there isn't any major differences to Curse of Strahd! I6 is almost beat for beat the same as Curse of Strahd as long as we include only the portions in I6. This makes sense since Curse of Strahd is a remake after all. Now, onto Strahd's statblock!

Part 2: Strahd von Zarovich

[ID]

The image is a black and white page full of text with an image of Strahd von Zarovich in the bottom right corner. The documents text is positioned into two columns. The top of the document has a repeating border that is a shape that is a hollow rounded triangle with two curved arches on the left and right of the shape that meet in the middle under the bottom of the triangle. On the left and right of the triangle is abstract black shapes that meet up at a black thick line the top near of the page. Around these triangles are broken lines that outline the shape. A thin black line creates an outline from the bottom of the triangles around the document.

The image of Strahd von Zarovich in the bottom right corner is of a cloaked figure with a cowl. His hair is pulled back with a strong widow's peak. His eyes are white and luminous. His knows and ears are barely visible, with the rest of his face hidden in the darkness. His right arm appears to be extended but is hidden by his cloak. Behind Strahd is a full moon with three bats casting a shadow on the moon. In the bottom right of the image is the artist mark of Clyde Caldwel, A c like shape that flow into an n like shape with a dot beneath. At the center of the page is the page number, 3

The text of the document starting with the left column is as follows: "Count Strahd Von Zarovich, Vampire.

The entire adventure centers around the vampire. Always keep in mind the motives of the vampire, how he moves about, and what his cunning plot is. You must play Strahd in the same way players play their characters. Study this NPC as carefully as the players study their characters.

Count Strahd Von Zarovich (The First Vampyr) Frequency: Unique Number Appearing: 1 Armor Class: -1 Move: 12"/18" Hit Dice: 10 (55 hit points) % In Lair: 90% Treasure Type F Damage/Attack: 5-10 (1d6+4) Special Attacks: Energy Drain Special Defenses: +1 or better weapon to hit Magical Resistance: See below Intelligence: Genius Alighnment: CE Size: M Psionic Ability: Nil Attack/Defense Modes: Nil

Although Strahd can be encountered in many places, he is always encountered in the plaace indicated by your Fortunes of Ravenloft results (see p.4) unless he has been forced to his tomb. Strahd is slightly above-average vampire. He has the normal 18/76 strength and his blows drain 2 life levels from his opponents. Strahd has the usual vampire abilities. He can only be hit by magical weapons and can regenerate 3 hit points per round He can assume gaseous from at will or shape change into a large bat. He can charm person at will by gazing into a character's eyes, causing the character to make a saving throw vs. spells with a penalty of -2. Strahd is also a 10th level magic user. He learned his magic from studies during his life from subsequent studies over the centuries. His available spells are:

First level: comprehend languages, hold portal, protection from good, sleep. Second level: invisibility, locate objects, mirror image, ESP. Third level: fireball, gust of wind, suggestion Forth level: polymorph other, polymorph self Fifth level: animate dead, distance distortion"

The following text is the right column of the document: "Strahd has a variety of spies and servants. They report to him four times each day (at dawn, noon, dusk, and midnight). There is a 60% chance that Strahd knows the PC's location at these times. If Strahd knows their location, he attacks the OCs -wherever they are -within two hours. Strahd chooses the time and method of his attacks carefully.

Strahd can attack in each of the following ways once.

Strahd attacks a single PC for 5 melee rounds then leaves.

Strahd calls 10-15 Strahd zombies to attack the party. All of the zombies must attack at the same time in the same place.

Strahd calls 3-12 worg wolves to attack the party. All of the wolves must attack at the same time in the same place.

When playing Strahd, above all, keep these three things in mind.

Strahd chooses when he attacks. Strahd is supposed to be a genius, play him as one. Whenever he is aware of the PCs poisitions, he is allowed to make an attack how and where he wants. His attacks must be timed to be most advantageous to him. To do that, Strahd must move around during the adventure. However, he can always be found in the place determined in Fortunes of Ravenloft. It is your responsibility to see that the vampire uses his abilities to his greatest advantage.

Strahd knows when to withdraw. He knows when he is over his head. If he is losing a battle he becomes gaseous, polymorphs into a wolf or bat, and/or summons other creatures to guard his retreat.

Strahd's attacks depend upon his goals. There is a reason why Strahd lured the PCs into his little kingdom. This reason is determined in Fortunes of Ravenloft. Strahd's plans for achieving his goals are listed with his goals."

[End ID]

I don't know 1st edition but if I'm not mistaken (and I could be since my knowledge is based on the 1st/2nd edition dos games), is a roll under system unlike 5e's DC system. Its cool seeing spells remain at spell levels I know like invisibility being second level and fireball being obviously third level; though I feel its common knowledge that fireball was third level in 1st edition. If someone who is far more versed in 1st edition could tell me what his stat block actually means, I would appreciate it immensely.

Something awesome is that Strahd has different goals determined by the module's Fortunes of Ravenloft, something similar to the fortune reading in 5th edition. Strahd is also cunning and plays keepaway with the players, running away when he is losing and ambushing the players at any time. He even has a randomized set encounter location where the Fortunes of Ravenloft says, again just like 5e. The whole intent behind his creation and play style is that he is supposed to be this menacing calculating monster of a man, not a generic monster. This design has lasted to this day which is impressive. I may be spreading more internet nonsense from saying but the idea of the whole module to my knowledge cam from a playtest of a game with players fighting a vampire in a cave and it didn't make narrative sense.

What is also fascinating is his title, The First Vampyr. Was the intent was to set up the villain as well the first vampire in universe? I don't know when TSR started focusing on building out their universes, like Forgotten Realms, but this feels like this is something that would be kept in mind for the future. At the same time, this could just be throwaway flavor text as Strahd is referred to as a "slightly above average vampire". Which feels like they are downplaying his strength as a monster. But he also is a fairly formidable caster though I don't have the context of how formidable, I am just extrapolating using my experience with 5th edition; just 5th level spells feels like alot for any party. He is also immune to any damage not dealt by magical weapons, which would be an issue if the module didn't give the players magical weapons. But it does. We know it has the sunsword but as we will see, the module has other magical weapons as well, making this trait something the players could handle once they are in the castle.

Lastly, Strahd feels like he teleports around quite a bit given what the module is suggesting, that he should be reappearing and fighting the players before the castle. Curse of Strahd does solve this by giving him a teleportation room, a difference I highlight later, here he just has to run around using his powers. I think its fine to handwave this as Strahd can just move quickly due to his ability to polymorph since its so core to this module that he can just show up and scare the players.

Next, the Fortunes of Ravenloft

Part 3: The Fortunes of Ravenloft

[ID] The image is a black and white page full of text with three images of Cards on the top of the page, above the text "Fortunes of Ravenloft", with the first card partially behind the "R" in Ravenloft. The page itself is grey and splits text into two columns that flow similar to the previous document image. At the center of the bottom of the page is the number 4, indicating the page number. The three cards are similar with white playing card like border and an embroidery pattern filling an inner border with text in the center. At the top left of the page is the head of a gargoyle, with a line drawn down from the neck to the bottom of the page, passing behind the left playing card. Under the left most card's left side grouped together is the letter J and a heart written into the book in pen. Further down in pen are the words "Jack spades" crossed out. In text between the two handwritten texts is the text "Deal the top five cards face down". Below the right side of the left most card in pencil are the words "king of spades". Under the center card is the letter K and a diamond in pen. Under the right most card is the letter K and a heart in pen. The text outside of the cards is the following, starting from the left column and omitting slurs: "Fortunes of Ravenloft is an imitation ancient [slur] card reading. It does not resemble any real or mystical fortune telling process. Fortunes of Ravenloft determines Strahd's goals and the placement of important treasures. This card reading can add a great deal of flavor to your game and makes Ravenloft different when you play it again. You must run this card reading before playing the module. If, during the course of the adventure, the PCs have their fortunes read at the [slur] camp, run this card reading again, out loud. Substitute the new results for the old ones. Be sure to write down the results of your card reading, so you can have them when you need them. Find a regular 52-card deck of playing cards. Remove all 2, 4, 6, 8, 9, and joker cards from the deck. Now you have a set of four suits with eight cards in each suit. Shuffle the deck. If you don't have a regular deck of cards, you can get the same results by rolling 1d8 to determine the type of card and 1d4 to determine its suit. Roll again if you get the same card in any suit twice." The following text is a table that starts in the left column and continues on to the right. Around the bottom portion of the text in each row is an enclosed box. "Table 1. Fortunes of Ravenloft Places Card Place 3 Study (K37) It is in a place of tranquility, a harbor for the mighty and powerful. It is in a place of wisdom, warmth, and despair. Great secrets are there. The object is on the mantlepiece just under the portait of the women. If Strahd is there, he is sitting back in the overstuffed chair, staring into the blazing fire. 5 Treasure Room (K41) You should seek for a carefully hidden place of great worldly wealth. I see a blazing fire protecting the place. The object is set prominently atop the other treasures in the room. If Strahd is there, he is counting his ill-gotten gains. 7 Chapel of Ravenloft (K15) You may find this amid the ruins of a place of supplication. The object is on the altar, brightly illuminated by a shaft of light from the ceiling. If Strahd is there, he is standing in the center of the room-a dark shape in the vast hall. 10 High Tower Room (K60) This is a place of dizzying heights that all loathe to travel. The road winds ever upward and the rocks themselves live here! The object is in a locked iron chest. If Strahd is there he is at the window, looking over his lands. Jack Crypt of Sergei von Zarovich (K85) This lies with a fallen prince of old. The brother of dark is light and he rests in this place. The object is lying across Sergei's chest. If Strahd is there, he is lying across the marble slab, weeping. Queen Crypt of Ravenovia (K88) This is in the mother's place The object is lying on top of Ravenovia's coffin. If Strahd is there, he is in a frenzy of rage and despair"

The text in the left most card has a section in a box similar to the table. The box surrounds the middle portion of the card's text. The following is the text of the left most card: "First, determine where the Holy Symbol is (see Treasures and Tomes on Page 30 for a description of the holy symbol). Pick up the first card and read the following boxed text. This card is a symbol of great power. It tells of a powerful force for good and protection against the forces of darkness. To determine where the holy symbol is, find this card in Table 1. to determine the 'to hit' and armor class modifiers to use in that place, find this card's suit in Table 2.

The center card and right most cards' text is similarly laid out as the left most card. The center card's text follows: "Second, determine where the Tome of Strahd is (see Treasures and Tomes on p.31 for a description of the Tome of Strahd). Pick up the second card and read the following boxed text. This card tells of history. Knowledge of the ancient may help you understand a foe. To determine where the Tome is, find this card in Table 1. to determine the 'to hit' and armor class modifiers to use in that place, find this card's suit in Table 2."

The text of right most card follows: "Third, determine where Strahd von Zarovich himself can always be found. Pick up the third card and read the following boxed text This is the object of your search! Ah! I see darkness and evil behind this card! It is a powerful man whose enemy is light and whose powers are beyond mortality! To determine where Strahd can always be found, find this card in Table 1. to find the 'to hit' and armmor class modifiers to use in that place, find this card in Table 2." [End ID]

[ID] The image is a black and white document similar to the previous image. The background is the same color along with the layout of text. The page number is 5. Two cards are above the left column of text. On the right edge of the document is a face of a gargoyle mirroring the previous document. Under the left most card is two sets of text: "Jack" and a diamond are written in pencil and the number 5 and a club written in pen. Under the right most card is two sets of text similar to the left card. The text is the same, just written in pencil and pen: the number 3 and a heart. Under the The left column continues Table 1. The following is the remaining text:

"King Kings Audience Hall (K25) A king's throne is the place to find this The object is lying across the dais behind the throne. If Strahd is there, he is sitting on the throne. Ace Crypt of Strahd (K86) This is a very bad sign. This is in the very heart of darkness: his home, his source. It is his center and his life. It is the one place to which he must return. The object is in a corner of the room. If Strahd is here, he is within his coffin, ready to attack at the first sign of someone opening the lid" Continuing after Table 1 is Table 2. Table 2 is similar to Table 1; the only difference is the location of the box containing text. The box is below a section of text and is the second half of each row. Table 2 contains images of each card suit vertically aligned in the left column of the table. The suites descend in the following order: Heart, Diamond, Clubs, Spades. The suits are solid and are black. The following is the text of the table, including a text replacement of the suit to indicate its location: "Table 2. Fortunes of Ravenloft: Modifiers Suit 'To Hit and Armor Class Modifiers'

Heart The PCs gain a +1 bonus to hit and a -1 bonus to their AC.

There is a very good influence there. If you are there, the power of good will aid you.

Diamond The PCs gain a +1 bonus to hit, but suffer a +1 penalty to their AC.

The diamond blesses your skill there, but bodes poorly for your protection.

Clubs The PCs suffer a -1 penalty to hit, but gain a -1 bonus to their AC

The club sustains your strength here, but holds you from your victory, taking more time than it otherwise would.

Spades The PCs suffer a -1 penalty and a +1 penalty to their AC.

The spade is a dark shadows of evil cast over that place. You fight under its influence here." Table 3 is similar to Table 1, sharing the location of the box containing text in the table. Table 3 is the entirety of the right column. The following is the text of Table 3, ommiting slurs: "Table 3. Fortunes of Ravenloft: Strahd's Goals Card Strahd's Goal

3 or 5 Strahd seeks a new identity.

Not yet, but soon, one who appears to be your friend will become your enemy.

Strahd will try to be alone with a charmed PC. When he is alone with a charmed PC, Strahd casts a polymorph other spell on the PC, turning the PC into a vampire. The spell operates as detailed in the AD&D Players Handbook with the following clarifications. The PC takes the form of a vampire and radiates a magical aura, regardless of whether the PC survives a system shock check or not. A PC that survives a system shock check has all of the abilities of a vampire as detailed in the AD&D Monster Manual, regardless if whether that PC passes a mental check or not. Undead cannot drain levels from undead. Thus, if a polymorphed PC vampire retains his own mind, he and Strahd can fight, but neither can drain levels from the other. They can both, however, drain levels from non-undead. After turning the PC into a vampire, Strahd casts a polymorph self and turns into the likeness of the PC. Strahd puts the new vampire PC into his own coffin and attempts to join the party, masquerading as the PC. Strahd will try to persuade the party that he found a away out of Barovia. Strahd can, after all, open the gates. Strahd wants to move to another country using his new identity. The [slur] will carry dirt from his crypt to his new home.

7 or 10 Strahd wants to make a magical sphere of darkness.

This card tells of a tool of evil. Darkness surrounds and protects this tool, giving comfort to the black hearts and protection from good.

Strahd is trying to assemble a magical item that casts a continuous sphere of darkness. Such an item would greatly extend the range of his travels. Over the centuries he gather the pieces of the sphere one by one, until he is missing only one piece, a black opal. Strahd mistakenly believes that one of the PCs has black opal. Strahd mistakenly believes that one of the PCs has black opal stone. Strahd will use his natural charm person abilities to charm lone PCs. Stahd will send those Charmed Pcs back to the party asking, 'Do you have the black opal?' When Strahd discovers that none of the PCs have a back opal, he will attempt to destroy them.

Jack or Queen Strahd wants to win the love of Ireena Kolyana

The darkness lovesa light and desires it Great subtle plans are in motion about you; plans that the dead may find warmth from the living.

Strahd will attempt to charm all of the PCs, and make them attack Ireena. When they attack, Strahd will swoop down and save her from the PCs. Strahd hopes that the rescue will turn Ireena's heart to him. He wants Ireena to love him willingly rather than by force.

King or Ace Strahd wants the Sunsword.

Here is a high and noble card. One of you carries a weapon that is stronger than any other against the evil in this land. Only one part is missing from this weapon. That part is found in the evil one's lair.

See Treasures and Tomes on p.31 for details about the sunsword. Strahd wants to destroy the sunsword. He believes (correctly) that one of the PCs (a random fighter) has has been unknowingly carrying the sunsword for some time. If the sunsword hilt is found and reunited with the blade, Strahd could be in real trouble."

The text of the left card is the following:

"Fourth, determine where the sunsword hilt is (see Treasures and Tomes on p.31 for a description of the sunsword). Pick up the forth card and read the following boxed text.

This card is good for you. It is a card of power and strength , the victor's card. It tells of a weapon of light, a weapon of vengeance.

To determine where the sunsword is, find this card in table 1. To determine the 'to hit' and armor class modifiers to use in that place, find this card's suit in Table 2."

The text of the right card is the following:

"Last, determine Strahd's goal. Pick up the fifth, and last, card, and read the following boxed text.

And here is the root card. Out of darkness and chaos, this card find the reason and foundation for darkness and chaos. This card shows the purpose of all things. It is the key to life and death and else beyond.

To determine Strahd's goal, find this card on Table 3." [End ID]

My copy is used so it has some writing on it from past fortunes but I think its cute, since the fortunes are still done with playing cards, with the only difference being the reading in Curse of Strahd is far more complex. The objects are the exact same, the Sunsword, the Holy Symbol, and the Tome of Strahd. Similarly, the locations you find these items can also instead be the locations you fight Strahd: the study , his treasure room, the chapel, the top of the high tower, Sergei's crypt, Strahd's crypt, the audience hall with his throne, and Ravenovia's crypt (Strahd's Mother). Taking a step back here to talk about this decision as a whole, I have always loved the randomness. The fact that everyone's experience is always different and unique feels great. It leads to a different narrative expierence each time and gives us a reason to replay the module. I have played Curse of Strahd as a player on three separate occasions with three separate DMs and each experience as a player was unique. Other than each character having that DM's twist or personality, the items were never in the same place so my groups always prioritized different areas. I have also ran my own game of Curse of Strahd and I have felt similar as a DM. I prioritized different characters or locations to add depth to the world. This randomization leads to unique situations that could never be replicated. I think it is one of the most novel ideas that I6 presents and I am so glad all the other adaptations have kept this idea while expanding upon the whole experience.

Jumping back to I6's fortunes, what I found really interesting is that the cards drawn add modifiers to your parties AC and to hit modifier. It feels very odd to me, but also that is because this is something that we do not have an equivalent to in Curse of Strahd. The closest is the ally we get but even then, that is more impactful from a narrative lens than the modifiers. The modifiers feel like a twist that deepens or add to the feeling of struggling against the darkness. It is very mechanical and calls back to more of the dungeon diving elements of early D&D. I don't think that modifiers change the game enough to feel sad that they have disappeared. Then again, we do get something similar with Argyvost's skull in Curse of Strahd so atleast we get some kind of spiritual successor to the modifiers in the reading.

Now I mentioned above Strahd has a goal. He does, its why he grabs the players. In 5th edition, its to toy with them and have amusement more or less and then later he wants them for Ireena. In here he has 4 reasons potentially and I want to talk about each of them. One, to grab Ireena. How he plans this is wild. He will charm the players and make them attack Ireena and he will swoop in and save her since he wants Ireena to love him willingly rather than by force. This is absolutely wild to me that Strahd could play the valiant knight for Ireena. This feels the most vanilla but this is his goal moving forward into Curse of Strahd. I think its smart to make this the "core" goal since he does attack Ireena in the opening of the module and Tatyana is core to Strahd's descent into darkness. Given all the additional material that has come out focused on Strahd, Curse of Strahd made the correct call to make this his focus. I do like that he has other goals as well in Curse of Strahd, but it is a bit of a shame that he doesn't have any of the other goals he has in I6.

The second goal is to steal a player character's identity. He will charm someone, use a spell to turn them into a vampire, shove them in his coffin and then masquerade as the player character using magic. Absolutely amazing. I love this and its also so evil. Like more than most DMs would go evil. "How do you do my fellow player characters". Sadly, this also feels like its retconned with newer Ravenloft lore since Strahd can't actually escape Ravenloft and this ending if he succeeds in stealing someone's identity and convincing the party that he found a way out everyone just leaves Ravenloft. The player who gets turned into a vampire can make checks to be able to fight back and you get this vampire duel which is so cool. Vampires in older versions of D&D can drain levels from players by the way, so the book specifies undead cant drain other undead's levels. Like the set up is amazing, the idea is wild, but there is no way for this to work if we are conforming to the rules of Ravenloft. We kind of get a successor to this goal in Curse of Strahd with Strahd's desire for a consort or successor since he wants to to be able to leave; but the book calls out that Strahd will never find any of the player characters worthy. Again a DM can change this and many have so I feel the spirit of this goal lives on; but we don't really see Strahd becoming a party member only to betray the group. That would be a fun twist however.

The third goal is the only goal where Strahd fails whether the players live or die - he wants to make a magical sphere of darkness. Strahd thinks the players have a black opal stone, which is the last piece he needs to make a big old sphere of darkness to make the world dark and stuff so he can travel more at night. Strahd will charm one player who is alone and have them ask the rest of the players if they have this black opal stone. He is certain they have the stone so when its revealed they don't, he will try to kill the players. Curse of Strahd places Barovia under the magical darkness that he is attempting to create here in this goal, which I think is a perfect way of honoring this goal

The last goal is Strahd wants to destroy the sunsword. So the module recommends the players have a cleric and a fighter as a requirement since the holy symbol is for a cleric and the sunsword is for a fighter. I mention this because Strahd just knows who has the sunsword and if this is rolled, the sword is just magically on this person and not where the fortune says. So Strahd wants to kill them and take the sword and destroy it. This is very boring to me. Like it should be a given rather than an explicit goal. If Strahd has gone out of his way to destory the sword, he should just want to do this regardless if this is a goal. This is the direction Curse of Strahd goes and I think it makes sense. 5th edition focuses more on narrative and less on dungeon crawling so this change is just natural. We even get more lore for the sunsword in 5th edition, it being a sword belonging to Sergei and being sentient. I am not sad to see this goal just disappear and become a background element. It feels like a cop-out to get Strahd to fight the party early. If he knows they have the sword and he knows where they are, why not just kill them? I mean he does like to toy with his prey but if this sword is the biggest threat to his existence, I would expect him to hunt the players down once they near the castle.

Overall, I think the goal's Strahd has in I6 are a mixed bag; some are really novel and some are fairly boring or straightforward. That is my own opinion and I am very curious on how everyone else feels.

Part 4: The lands of Barovia, Barovia Village, and Tser Pool Encampment

I am lumping all of the pre-castle encounters into one section since they are more or less similar to what we know and love from Curse of Strahd.

[ID]

The image is that of a black and white document, with a layout similar to the statblock of Strahd von Zarovich, including the borders of the page. The page number is 6. The following is the text of the left column omitting slurs:

"Lands of Barovia

A perpetual rolling blackness of thunderclouds casts a gray pall over the land. The darker silhouette of Castle Ravenloft looks over the valley from its 1,000 foot pillar of rock.

Castle Ravenloft dominates the small village of Barovia. The castle stads high atop a natural pillar of rock against the cliffs to the north of the village. The dark Svalich woods surround the village and cliffs. Use Map 1 to see the relative locations of the town and Castle Ravenloft.

The road to the village and lands of Barovia goes through ancient iron gates, controlled by the will of Count Strahd. There are only two gates, one east the of village and one west of the castle crossroads up the mountain. The gates open when the PCs arrive but close after they enter Barovia. The gates will not open for the PCs again until Strahd is destroyed.

There is a deathly stillness in the dark Barovian woods. Yet the woods are patrolled constantly by the wolves and serving beasts of Count Strahd.

No one has left Barovia for centuries. This is because of the trapping fog that exists everywhere in Barovia . Once it is breathed, it infuses itself around a character's vital organs as a neutralized poison. the fog does not taste or smell any different than normal fog. It does not harm characters as long as they continue to breathe the air in Barovia. However, when they lave Barovia, the poison becomes active. Characters must save vs. poison or start to choke. Unless choking characters reenter Barovia within 24 hours, they die. The choking stops as soon as they breathe the fog again.

The [slur] were given a potion by Strahd that cancels the effects of the fog. this potion is jealously guarded by Madam Eva, who buried it in a secret place. It is impossible for the PCs to discover the potion. The fog is magically produced by Strahd and disappears entirely upon his destruction.

The poor villagers of Barovia have been terroized for centuries by 'the devil' Strahd. Only the town and the few survivors of the second ruling house of Barovia have the will to offer more than just personal resistance to Strahd. No villager has left Barovia for centuries. Those who tried never returned, dying from the vile snapping teeth of the Barovian wolves and the choking deadly fog.

Every 3 turns, check for na random enoutner. When the PCs are not in castle Ravenloft, during daytime, use Table 4 at the right, during night time, use Table 5 at the right. When the PCs are in Castle Ravenloft, use Table 6 on p.12.

Each night the PCs stay anywhere other than the castle (Area K), Strahd attacks with his wolves and bats. His attacks are intended more to frighten the PCs than to damage them. Strahd mjust toys with them. After 5 melee rounds, Strahd and his creatures withdraw.

If the PCs are indoors, every turn strahd attacks, wolves try to break through a window or door. A roll of 1 or 2 on 1d6 means that a wolf breaks through. Once a wolf gets in, the remainder of the wolves and bats come in. The wolves and Strahd never attack Ireena Kolyana. After 5 melee wounds, all of the creatures flee into the night, leaving only Strahds hollow laughter in the distance.

4-16 (3d6) worg wolves: AC 6; MV 18"; HD 4+4; #AT 1; Dmg 2-8; AL NE.

10-100 (10d10) bats: AC 6; MV 4"/18"; HD 1d4; #AT 0; DMG 0: AL N.

The bats fly into the room, getting into the way of spell casting. Characters must make dexterity checks to cast spells with material components." Some of the text in the right column is cut off. The following is the visible text of the right column including table 4 and table 5 with slurs ommited:

"Strahd may knock at the door, but he cannot enter the building until someone invites him in. Strahd tries to charm characters into inviting him in.

Table 4. Barovia Daytime Random Encounters (Sunup to Sundown)

Roll 1d6. If the result is a 1, the PCs enounter something. Roll 1d6 and us the encounter below with the resulting number.

Roll Encounter

1 2-8 (2d4) worg wolves: AC 6; MV 18"; HD 4+4; #AT 1; Dmg 2-8; AL NE.

2 1-10 [Slur]: AC 6; MV 12"; HD 2; #AT 1; Dmg 1-8; AL NE.

3 1-4 villagers: AC 9; MV 12"; HD 2; #AT 1; Dmg 1-6; AL

4 1-4 worg wolves: AC 6; MV 18"; HD 4+4; #AT 1; Dmg 2-8; AL NE.

5 1-4 [Slur]: AC 6; MV 12"; HD 2; #AT 1; Dmg 1-8; AL NE.

6 1-4 villagers: AC 9; MV 12"; HD 2; #AT 1; Dmg 1-6; AL

Table 5. Barovia Nighttime Random Encounters (Sundown to Dawn)

Roll 1d6. If the result is a 1, the PCs enounter something. Roll 1d12 and us the encounter below with the resulting number.

1-2 1-10 worg wolves: AC 6; MV 18"; HD 4+4; #AT 1; Dmg 2-8; AL NE.

3 2-10 (2d10) worg wolves: AC 6; MV 18"; HD 4+4; #AT 1; Dmg 2-8; AL NE.

4-5 3-12 (3d4) zombies: AC 8; MV 6"; HD 2; #AT 1; Dmg 1-; AL N

6-7 10-100 (10d10) bats: AC 6; MV 4"/18"; HD 1d4; #AT 0; DMG 0: AL N.

8 1 ghost: AC 0/8 if corporeal: MV 9"; HD 10; #AT 1; Dmg 10-40 years; AL LE.

9 3-12 (3d4) ghouls: AC 6; MV 9"; HD 2; #AT 3; Dmg 1-3/1-6; AL CE.

10 1-4 wights: AC 5; MV 12"; HD 4+3; #AT 1; Dmg 1-; AL LE; SA hit drains 1 energy level.

11 1-4 wraiths: AC 4; MV 12"/24"; HD 4+3; #AT 1; Dmg 1-; AL LE; SA hit drains 1 energy level.

12 1 maiden vampire: AC 1; MV 12"/18"; HD 8+3; #AT 1; Dmg 5-10; AL CE; SA hit drains 2 energy level, gaze can charm, become gaseous in same way as Strahd."

[End ID]

The first page of the lands of Barovia is setup for random encounters along with more info on The Mist. It talks about how to handle nighttime, daytime, and indoor encounters.

The encounters will only last 5 melee rounds (again 1st edition stuff, no idea sadly) so the monsters attack the players and then they flee as they serve to scare the players. Similarly for indoors encounters, just that wolves attack with the random encounter and they try to break down the doors and windows (roll a d6, on a 1 or 2 they succeed) and again after 5 rounds, the attack ends.

What is interesting is that you can get attacked by good aligned villagers or atleast encounter them? It is not fully clear but all the other encounters on the table are evil aligned so I imagine its all combats. I say that I am unsure because later on in the castle encounters, the module specifies one encounter as a non-combat. I find it interesting you can just encounter Barovians who will just be silent and treat the players as outsiders. Maybe some will be willing to talk to you? I doubt it but it could serve as a indication to the players that something is not quite right in the land of Barovia.

The night encounters look like they are all combat. My favorite is either the 2-20 wolves (roll 2d10) or the 10 to 100 bats (10d10) bats. Just the sheer number would actually terrify someone. Imagine fighting 50+ bats. That is unforgettable.

Moving on to The Mists, or as the module refers to as the fog, we get some interesting lore elements I want to talk about. The fog here is in fact the mists we think of and the poisoning fog is consistant across second edition; I skimmed through my third edition source book and didn't find a comment, other than Strahd can close the borders and third edition source books tend to play very close to second edition canon. So the poison element is Strahd closing his borders to Barovia and preventing those within Barovia from leaving. You can obtain an antidote to this poison as the Vistani do sell this but second edition calls out that you also need Strahd's permission where in I6 the cure exists but is unobtainable; its just away to explain why the Vistani can come and go. I6's poison is different the Curse of Strahd since players don't start choking in the fog and the fog itself is not poisonous, but rather magical. The fog in Curse of Strahd also gives players exhaustion which is closer to second edition which lowers the players constitution; though unlike I6 or second edition, a player can't leave Barovia even if they succeed on the saving throws.

I want to also talk about the whole decison to add the fog and the consequences to the whole lore of Ravenloft. The fog from a gameplay perspective gives Strahd more power and makes sense as to why the villagers of Barovia have never left, they cant. This whole land is Strahd's lair. In the tome, Strahd calls himself "the land" and being able to control who can enter and leave makes it far more literal. He is quite literally the land, the fog moves when he asks and it bends to his whims. I won't lie and say the early iteration of the fog in I6 is a bit cheesy, like its just a poisonous cloud of fog and the vistani just happen to have the cure so they can come and go but they way it evolves is so interesting. It starts as this trapping force just for the players to becoming the prison that keeps Strahd contained, just that he is literally Barovia itself. He can trap those as part of his curse being the Darklord of Barovia. Its a wonderful role-reversal.

Returning to the module, the next couple pages are the set up for the module and its surprisingly one of the set ups in Curse of Strahd, "Plea for Help"; down to the exact same letter the players receive. It is word for word, only with some minor changes like inserting commas

[ID] The image is a black and white document on a wooden table. It is similar to the previous image. There is text on the page laid out such that there is two boxes containing text with text in the middle separating the boxes. The first box is cutoff in the image; the following is the text starting with a cutoff sentence:

"subdued. The letter is lying before you. Dated yesterday, the ink is still not dry and the parchment is crips. The seal is a crest you don't recognize."

The following is the text between the two boxes:

"If the PCs open the letter, read its content from the following boxed text."

The following is the text in the second box:

"Hail to thee of might and valor:

I, a lowly servant of the township of Barovia, send honor to thee. We plead for thy so desperately needed assistance within our community.

The love of my life, Ireena Kolyana, has been afflicted by an evil so deadly that even the good people of our town cannot protect her. She languishes from her wound and I would have her saved from this menace.

There is much wealth in this community. I offer all that might be had to thee and thy fellows if thou shalt but answer my desperate plea.

Come quickly for her time is at hand! All that I have shall be thine!

Kolyan Indrirovich

Burgomaster

[End ID]

I shouldn't be surprised by this; the "Plea for Help" adventure hook from Curse of Strahd is one of two adventures hooks that don't really need set up or has hard requirements. It also is very organic. Someone comes in and offers your party job, shows off that they are clearly rich by buying the whole tavern drinks for the night, and leaves. The letter is also very forward and offers the party riches for help. Its very simple but effective. I am a bit shocked how the words have not been changed in the 30+ years between the modules; but as I have mentioned earlier Curse of Strahd doesn't take a lot of liberties for the content in I6. The hook also assumes the least about the players which helps with its effectiveness. The hook relies on the party desiring wealth, which in first edition was a guarantee since leveling was associated with gold, and offers some additional motivation for good aligned characters.

Continuing on, as the players enter the Svalich Woods, they also encounter the real letter being sent by the Burgomaster of Barovia village. Again this is the same letter, though some of the words are slightly different, like dropping the words "creature calling its race".

[ID]

The image is a black and white document similar to the previous image. The image has two boxes with text. Between the two boxes is a set of text. The only word legible in the first box is the word: "scream". The following is the text between the two boxed texts:

"Three turns after all the PCs enter the woods, they find a dead villager in the underbrush. He holds an envelope crumpled in his hand. The remains of his clothes are torn and raked with claw marks. Paw prints of many large wolves are pressed into the clay around the body. The man has obviously been dead for several days.

The letter is dated one week ago. It is sealed with a large 'B'. The parchment is worn and flimsy. It reads as follows:"

The following text is contained in the bottom box:

"Hail thee of might and valor:

I, the Burgomaster of Barovia send you honor - with despair.

My adopted daughter, the fair Ireena, has been these past nights bitten by a creature calling its race 'vampyr.' For over 400 years, he has drained this land of the life-blood of its people. Now, my dear Ireena languishes and dies from an unholy wound caused by this vile beast. Yet I fear, too, that the creature has some more cunning plan in mind. He has become too powerful to be fought any longer."

In small text below the box is the following: "Letter continues on next page."

[End ID]

[ID]

The image is a black and white document similar to the previous image. The border of the document is similar to the "Lands of Barovia" image. There are three potions of text in boxes, with third becoming cutoff and unreadable. Between the first and second box is more text. The first box contains the following text:

"So I say to you, give us up for dead and encircle this land with symbols of good. Let holy men call upon their power that the evil one may be contained within the walls of weeeping Barovia. Leave our sorrows to our graves, and save the world from this evil fate of ours.

There is much wealth entrapped in this community. Return for your reward after we are all departed for a better life.

Kolyan Indirovich,

Burgomaster"

The text between the first box and second box is as follows:

"Roll 1d6 every turn the PCs ar ein the woods. If the result is 4 or more, the PCs hear a lone wolf cry in the distance. One more wolf cries each round. If the PCs are still in the woods after 5 rounds of howling, the wolves attack. If the PCs are entering Barovia, only 5 wolves attack; if the PCs are attempting to leave Barovia, 25 wolves attack. The wolves stop their attack if the PCs leave the woods by entering the village.

5 or 25 worg wolves: AC 6; MV 18"; HD 4+4; #AT 1; Dmg 2-8; AL NE. "

The following is the text contained within the second box along with its header: "D. The River Ivlis

The river Ivlis flows as clear as a blue winter sky through the valley."

The following is the text contained within the last box along with its header; part of the text is cutoff and the last word visible is 'wet':

"E. The Village of Barovia

Tall shapes loom out of the dense fog that surrounds everything. The muddy ground underfoot gives way to slick, wet"

[End ID]

Continuing on, the village of Barovia is more or less the same. Ireena is also a 4th level fighter in this module. I find this interesting that she is a level lower than what the players start at (5th level) since Vampires drain levels in 1st edition and this is not so subtle acknowledgement that Ireena was attacked by Strahd and had her blood drank. It also prevents the main npc character from overshadowing the players in fights, though Strahd and the monsters he controls do not target Ireena. Ireena's characterization in I6 and Curse of Strahd is similar, a mild but strong willed fighter. I6 however says she wants to fight and kill Strahd for harming her homeland and killing her father where this only occurs if she is you ally in Curse of Strahd. Ireena is someone who's is fighting for a lost past and a future she can never have. Her life was completely upended several times by Strahd, as both Tatyana and as herself. I6 is a story about Strahd, Tatyana, and Sergei. Strahd's jealously and envy destroying his family and he is cursed to live in a nightmare for eternity as death, the thing Tatyana saw him as. Tatyana is forced to reincarnate endlessly by The Mists to remind Strahd that he can never have her. Sergei can not move on after losing the love of his life and seeing his brother in endless torment. Its a tragedy. Ireena needs to be part of the group who helps kill Strahd. It makes her and Tatyana not some damsel in distress but instead someone who is hurting and who triumphs over their pain to forge a better future; whether or not she ends up with Sergei is left to the DM depending on how the players have interacted with her. Curse of Strahd has some changes, that takes keeps the elements of this story but expands further with the introduction of the randomized ally.

The introduction of a randomized ally frees up that role to be anyone in the cast, with a few exceptions. It allows Curse of Strahd to break away from just a story about Tatyana and Sergei and to be about how Barovia, the country, is suffering at the hands of Strahd and how everyone in the cast has a dark or tragic tale because of this suffering. From Victor hating his homeland and trying to escape to Vasilka, a person who is being made as a wife for Strahd. I don't think you can have both. At the cost of Ireena being the sole focus, we get more depth and re-playability and Curse of Strahd is designed for that in mind. It also lets Ireena free herself as a character from just being Tatyana again. While both have the same ending for Ireena, Curse of Strahd's "Something Blue" special event in Krezk and the optional ending in I6, due to the length of Curse of Strahd, Ireena gets more of a chance to bond with player characters and come to understand the world she lives in and perhaps become more than Tatyana. Again this is up to the DM and the players in roleplay and narrative but I have seen this happen a handful of times. Ireena is allowed to become more unique.

Stepping off of my soapbox and coming back to discussing differences, we come to Donavich; he doesn't have a son in I6. The son is a vampire in the church's basement, that comes from Expedition to Castle Ravenloft, kinda. In Expedition to Castle Ravenloft, Donavich called Danovich, he creates a zombie plague after his son gets killed by Bandits. He hopes to bring him back so he keeps his corpse in the church basement; which yeah that is one hell of a change that gets rolled right back. I am not going to talk about Expedition here, but his personality in Curse of Strahd is much closer to this version than I6's version. In I6, he is close to a generic clerical figure; warm and kind while knowledgeable about evil. Donavich in I6 knows Ireena's whole backstory of being adopted, which Curse of Strahd does stay consistent with. However in I6 he has information on Strahd he is suppose to give the players, mainly info about the tome of Strahd.

He is almost a different character in Curse of Strahd because how much he is hurting from his son being a vampire. The villagers do not trust him in Curse of Strahd and he is losing his grip on reality. He is doing everything he can to save his son and clearly wants to help the players when they meet him. He is also the one to give the players the idea to take Ireena to Krezk and the abbey. And if he is your ally, you have to help him kill his son and give him a proper burrial. Without Doru, Donavich is much more put together and reasonable. He wants to help the heroes just as much but he isn't an actual cleric, he doesn't have magic. And if he were to leave, then the only place of good in Barovia would fall to darkness which gives him a reason to stay behind. I do not have a strong opinion on which version I like more. I think both fit the energy of the Ravenloft as a whole and both serve their purposes well. Doru exists to give Curse of Strahd more darkness in the opening and highlight that the players were not the first to try to kill Strahd. I did go on about the changes for Ireena but making Donavich a potential ally really fits with his I6 counterpart even if he wasn't really a fighter in I6. The reasoning for him join is very clear. He has lost nearly everything, and the only thing he has left to give is himself. A father who wants the devil to pay for killing his son. He gains a conviction, which is something that is missing in I6.

Outside of Ireena and Donavich, there aren't any more major differences until the castle. Once you get to the gate that we know would lead to Villaki, the carriage to Castle Ravenloft appears and it waits for the players to enter to go to the castle. The module breaks if you don't enter the carriage which makes sense. Vallaki, Krezk, and the rest of Barovia don't exist in lore as this is the first module. When all the players arrive at the Castle, the drawbridge drops down and it has one of the funniest and also probably most infuriating ways you can die. Quoting the book "Each time anyone except Strahd crosses the bridge, there is a 5% chance of a cross board breaking. If the cross board breaks. the character on it must make a dexterity check or fall to the bottom of the cliffs, 1000 feet below". In other words, 5% chance you need to make a dex save, on a fail you die. I had to share; first edition is fairly infamous for traps that can just kill you and I6 is no exception. I am so glad we do not design dungeons this way anymore.

[ID]

A black and white document on a wooden table similar to the previous image. The border of document is the same as the previous image. The page number is at the center of the bottom of the page; the page number is 10. The document is a black and white image of a carriage drawn by two horses heading to a large castle. The carriage is in the left corner of the document. The style of the carriage invokes victorian style. The carriage has three accents that divide the carriage into sections horizontally. At the top of the cairrage is a holding area for luggage and other objects. In front of the carriage is a drivers set which is unmanned. On the right of the drivers set is a parking lever. The back of the carriage is additional luggage space, in the shape of an "L". Below this additional luggage space is a seal that is illegible. The carriage has 3 windows each spaced equally apart on the upper half of the right side. Above the the right window is a Victorian styled lantern. The door to the carriage is in the center of the right side of the carriage. The door's hinges are on the right of the door and the door's handle is on the left. On the lower half of the door is a symbol of what appears to be a bird or bat. Three of the carriages wheels are visible: The Front right and both rear wheels. The left rear wheel is cut off by the page. The right rear wheel is cutoff by dust and the page. The front right wheel is obscured by dust. All the wheels are attached to the bottom of the carriage and each other with a bar.

The carriage is being pulled by two large black horses. Their harnesses appear to be uniform in make are similar. The harness attaches near their neck and the middle of the back, and near the hip. The horses are controlled by reins that attach at the horses mouths and face and loop into the harness before becoming no longer visible.

The castle is in the background. The castle is made up of several spires and a drawbridge. The drawbridge has two towers at the end of the bridge. The drawbridge is attached to a large barbican by a chains. The barbican has three visible towers, one at the left corner of the wall, and two towers between the gate of the barbican. Above the gate of the barbican the same symbol that is on the carriage's door. Each tower and the walls between the towers have battlements. Behind the walls is the keep. The keep has 5 visible towers, two on the left and right of the keeps center barely visible, one tower that lacks a spire on the right taller than the keep and is attached to the left tower by a bridge, the left tower is taller than the right tower and has an attached spire, and the tallest tower on the right with a spire at the top. The keep has a chimney under the bridge attaching the two towers.

The foreground has a set of trees obscured by the carriage on the left with a patch of grass in the bottom right corner. The background behind the tower is a set of mountains only illuminated by a large lighting strike. The lightning starts in the top right corner and flows left towards a set of trees in the foreground. The carriage is traveling on a dirt path that leads into the castle.

[End ID]

Part 5 The Castle

Starting of the castle section similar to the previous one with Castle Ravenloft's encounters. You can encounter Strahd randomly but the most interesting encounter is the angry villagers which make you get more encounters because they are making a ton of sound but will help out in a fight. They don't attack the players but I think its a fun bit of story telling to have others who are fed up with Strahd's rule helping the players as they explore the castle.

Before I continue onto the rest of the castle bit by bit, I want to talk about the npcs in the castle. The biggest difference in the castle is Rahadin. Rahadin is actually introduced into 5th edition. The dusk elves don't exist until 4th edition and are introduced in one of the Dungeon Magazine issues, in specifically "Fair Barovia"; side tangent on the side tangent, look into Fair Barovia, it has some really cool similarities to 5th edition and it feels a bit like 5th editions proof of concept for Vallaki. Anyway, Rahadin and the Dusk Elves just don't exist. Nothing about them at all is in the older versions of Ravenloft. The closest thing are the Shadow Fey but the whole Drow/Shadow Fey retcon is a neat topic for its own day. Gosh sorry, Rahadin. He probably is my favorite change to the module full stop. He adds so much more depth to Strahd and his own darkness. Rahadin allows Strahd to be more human. He has someone who is his weakness and vice versa, Rahadin's weakness is his loyalty to Strahd. He can be just as meanacing as Strahd and just as cold while at the same point letting the players feel above him since whenever/if ever the players have dinner with Strahd, Rahadin is forced to be the servant. Yet it feels like there is something more. He takes care of the dirty work for the master of the castle, sometimes its cleaning, sometimes its killing. Overall, I wish the dusk elves were better integrated into the story of Curse of Strahd since other than Rahadin's backstory along with the whole Patrina and Kasamir story line, they don't get a ton of flavor and because they are so recent and it makes me sad, especially since the Dusk Elves are from wherever Barovia is from and some older modules touch on this exactly, mainly the hexad modules (again another time if people want).

Speaking of Patrina - She exists! Wait I just said the dusk elves don't exist. Correct! Both are true statements. She is made into an elf vistani, which is a bit weird. 2nd and 3rd edition make it clear that only humans can be Vistani while 4th and 5th say it doesn't matter (they invent Mother Luba for Tasha's Cauldron of Everything and add her in with Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft; she is a halfling). So uh, no idea what this means. 1st edition breaking all the rules! 5th edition dropping the Vistani part and making her a Dusk Elf does let Rahadin have more depth as I mentioned. I think this element is just messy lore because Ravenloft was just a module; it wasn't intended to be the start of a setting. Weird things like this happen. Otherwise for Partrina, her backstory is more or less the same. Just Kasamir doesn't exist in I6. Curse of Strahd does a much better job integrating her into the overall setting of Ravenloft, even if it meant inventing a type of elf native to Barovia. I was honestly a bit shocked reading that she existed in I6 since elves don't have a strong place in Barovia when it comes to the greater Ravenloft canon. Patrina's expansion and role in the story along with Rahadin and Kasamir add depth that I would never want to remove and feel almost as if this was something missing from second or third edition. Something that is a one line piece of text and encounter in the crypts became something far more interesting and it makes Curse of Strahd better for it.

The next changes are Strahd's vampire brides (and Escher). They do not exist in I6. I don't have any fun facts on like when they were added or what inspired them; just that they are added in 5th edition. I am curious as to why they were included. Strahd isn't just after Tatyana, given that Patrina is from 1st edition, so it make sense he could have some wives (and someone else) so is that why? I would love to talk to someone who made Curse of Strahd and ask so so many questions but I just don't have the info on why they exist. They give flavor and depth. That's probably it. I feel a bit sad that my extent of knowledge on these characters is what it is. Escher is a fan favorite since he is such a sad man who is now over his head. WotC did a good job in adding them since they feel fundamental to the experience of Castle Ravenloft as well as add some additional encounters that are not in I6.

Moving onto another character, Cyrus is Human in I6. He is the only Belview in the module but he is human. The mongrelfolk aren't from 1st edition Ravenloft. I specify this because one, they do exist in 1st edition and two, they do exist in Ravenloft, just later. The mongrelfolk are similar to another creature in Ravenloft, Broken Ones. Just Mongrelfolk tend to be nicer and more friendly (and also have a much sadder existance in G'henna) than the Broken Ones. It makes sense they would live with the Abbot since he is a kind being (good aligned atleast) and they are outcasts who need to constantly look for a home. Just, they are completely an addition to 5th editions version of the module (and Barovia as a whole). I am not going to go into the changes 5th edition does for Barovia as a setting but I do think it would make for an interesting topic. Making Cyrus a mongrelfolk makes him more friendly and overall adds more horror flavor to the world. Every major character is human, that is so bland. The point does work though, it makes non-human characters outsiders. It works well, but adding a bit of change here or there makes the world more interesting because you get characters your players can relate to. A drow character can relate to the dusk elves for example. The Belviews add that depth and strangeness that wouldn't be there if they weren't mongrelfolk. In 1st edition, Cyrus is just an old man who tells jokes at bad times and tries to lead the players to their rooms. I like 5th edition's change; he stays this old man but is far more likable personally.

News for Pidlwick II fans, he does not exist yet sadly. He was created for 5th edition. I generally like clockwork automatons and while Barovia really isn't clockwork-y compared to other Domains (looking at some of the more advanced domains like Paridon), living dolls are so cool. He has some interesting flavor if you expand him into the greater Ravenloft setting since he could be considered a Dread Construct. The lore around Pidlwick II however, is fairly interesting. I6 and Curse of Strahd disagree on who Pidlwick the first is; well I say I6 disagrees, its more the lore given to him in 3rd edition's source books is different than the lore Curse of Strahd uses. In Curse of Strahd, Pidlwick is a fool of Duchess Dorfniya Dislisyna and Fritz von Weerg made Pidlwick II and Pidlwick II killed Pidlwick. In the second and third edition canon, Pidlwick is the husband of Dorfiya Dilisnya and the "father" of one of the most important characters in all of Ravenloft canon, Leo Dilisnya. Leo deserves his own post as well but if you know "I, Strahd" you know Leo. Anyway Pidlwick's mother gets murdered and he starts an assassination war with the Petrovna families called the War of the Silver Knives. Strahd orders the assassinations to end and Pidlwick grows to despise Strahd since he didn't avenge his mother. Leo takes on this hatred for Strahd when Pidlwick dies. Now why is he called a Fool of Dorfniya? Its assumed its because Leo isn't his son by blood and he was cucked by another character. That is such a wild difference in lore for once character but without it, Pidlwick II wouldn't exist. Yet Leo's remains do exist in Curse of Strahd in Wachterhaus but I am getting off topic.

Lastly on the who's whos of the castle: Helga, Lief, and Gertruda exist and 5th edition leaves them unchanged. They exist, they fill their roles the exact same way. It is still very cool to me to see how much of this module can remain the same over 30+ years across several editions.

Now onto the Castle proper; I will be sprinkling in throughout this section the remaining art in the module as there is only a handful more and the rest is text. Something I think that was interesting when I was looking over the other editions of this module is that they all use the same numbering for the locations in the castle. Like K30 is the Office of the King's Accountant in I6. Curse of Strahd also makes K30 - King's Accountant. Overall. I think this is wonderful and its something most people wouldn't notice and only the dedicated fans like myself would. And I love this. And it makes my life easier since I can refer to each room in the castle by its location number. Now overall, the castle is the same in Curse of Strahd as it is in I6 so I will only mention any notable changes.

The first of which is K15 - Chapel of Ravenloft. We don't actually get the name of the figure who tries to steal the Icon of Ravenloft in I6 and in Curse of Strahd the icon is more powerful. In I6 it just lets you heal any creature 6 to 21 hit points and makes the ability to turn undead stronger while 5th edition adds the Protection from evil and good radius and the augury spell. Its also said to be 10 pounds in 5th edition while 1st edition just says its small; which 10 pounds is not small. Then again its a foot tall silver statuette that is half a food wide, so I think 5th edition is correct in making it fairly heavy. I am curious for the reasoning in making the Icon stronger, the protection from evil and good spell is so useful in this dungeon and the augury spell is just fun flavor.

Next is K20 - Tower Hall of Honor or as 5th edition calls it Heart of Sorrow. Yeah, the biggest change is the name. Its called the Guardian of Sorrow as mentioned earlier in this post. The animated halberds also aren't flying swords or anything but instead how the Guardian of Sorrow attacks. The heart actually makes the players take dexterity saving throws every round or they fall down the stairs since the whole castle is shaking which is cool but annoying. The module does mention explicitly the players can move at 1/4 movement to avoid the saving throws but still awful. Atleast 5th edition had the kindness to just knock you prone when you failed the dexterity save rather than fall down to a lower floor. The heart also doesn't have any kind of life/shield link with Strahd like it does in 5th edition; it just exists. Saying it "exists" underpins the whole thematic reason its here. Like the whole purpose of the heart is to say the castle is alive, and maybe the land is alive even? The whole "I am the land" in his journal seems far more literal now, like this could be his heart! Its so brutal. 5th edition makes the link even more clear; he is hurt when you hurt the heart and the heart takes damage for him. Its a masterful change in 5th edition, it adds flavor and gives the players more reason to explore. I also like "Guardian of Sorrow" far better than "Heart of Sorrow" but that's me.

[ID]

The image is a black and white document of Strahd von Zarovich playing an organ. The organ takes up the majority of the image, being cut off by the left edge of page curving around and ending at the right half of the page. The top left to the top center are the organs pipes in two rows, each topped with a dragon head open as if to breathe fire. Part of the back row of the pipes are cut off by the top of the image. The pipes are then hidden by the organs at their bottom. The organ appears to have 4 rows of keys that make the up center of the organ. Above the top row of keys as well as the left and right of they keys appear to be buttons or knobs to activate additional elements of the organ. Dividng the buttons from the keys appears to be inlays with circles. Bellow the organ is two rows of swell pedals that get hidden behind Strahd and the darkness of the image. In front of the swell pedals is the pedal board of the organ. The right end of the organ is a ornate carving of the dragon. Below the dragon is a post carved to look like the dragon's feet. Below the foot of the dragon is the signature of Clyde Caldwel.

Playing the organ is Strahd von Zarovich. His left hand is on the second row of keys while his right hand is in the air as if to strike the keys dramatically. Both his left and right arms show a visible undershirt sleeve. The left arm has a button near the sleeve. His right hand has nails like claws. Only the left profile of his face is visible. His hair is licked back but fades into the darkness of his clothes. The rest of his clothing is veiled in the darkness and are to obscure to make out.

The chair Strahd is sitting in is mostly obscured by his cloak. The left portion of the chair is visible; the upholstery of the chair along with its front left leg. Keeping the upholstery in place are round staples or buttons. The left leg is carved to look like the foot of a lion or beast.

[End ID]

K30 - Office of the King's Accountant. The biggest difference is 1st edition has less loot and the reason Lief is upset is slightly different. Lief wants access to the hidden treasury. Why he knows this is never explained but he also knows the whole layout of the castle and will give the players a map to the holy symbol like in 5th edition so I assume he knows it exists but Strahd won't let him use it. I don't know when "Manual of Bodily Health" is first created but it doesn't exist in 1st edition's version of the module so I assume it was added as more interesting loot than just money, since 1st edition has the same amount of money but the manual is replaced with 100 books worth 10 gp each. I like this minor but impactful change. If the player characters are just playing Curse of Strahd, the manual is just as impactful as if it was more money but if they go beyond Strahd into another game, this is far more impactful. Either way, its a cool and fun change.

K31 - Trapworks. The only difference here is the damage you take from being on the top of trap. In 1st edition its 3d10 with no save to avoid damage while in 5th edition is a dexterity save taking 8d10 on a failure, which is so much more. I imagine this is because players should be nearing the level cap for the module and that level cap is far higher for Curse of Strahd than Ravenloft but also I have no context for hitpoints in 1st edition, this could be much more damage. Everything else is the same, magical sleep hits the players and then they are trapped. Overall its a really cool trap, I never have seen it in action and I want to here stories about being imprisoned or the elf of the party saving everyone; seems like a really cool narrative moment.

K41 - Treasury. Similarly to Office of the King's Accountant, the 5th editions version just has far more stuff, but also its missing some things. Mainly all the magical weapons. 1st edition has a +2 sword and 3 +3 maces in addition to all the money. It makes sense to give the player a load of magical weapons since in 1st edition, vampires can only be damaged by +1 or more weapons. So this is a solution to a problem that they player will encounter when they go to fight Strahd. It also reinforces the need to explore dungeons and keeps up with 1st editions dungeon diving nature. I think this is kinda cool, I don't think I know of a module that hands players multiple +3 weapons at once. 5th edition swaps those out for the +2 shield, some potions, and the instant fortress along with the helm of brilliance, rod of the pact keeper and alchemy jug. I think both are fun treasure piles but I think 5th edition benefits from having a larger pool to draw magic items from. The shield is also unique to Curse of Strahd since Argynvostholt was added for 5th edition. I think both treasuries fit the version they are in. Like 5th edition does not focus to heavily on better gear as a requirement for fights, it just makes fights easier. So a diverse pool of gear is better than a large amount of magical weapons; especially since a magical weapon isn't needed to hurt Strahd. 1st edition does focus on that sort of progression so magical weapons make a ton of sense and as I mentioned, characters need magical weapons to hurt Strahd at all. The module is designed for six to eight characters in 1st edition; which is larger than most parties are in 5th edition. There is one sunsword but what if there are 3 fighters? This is how you get around the problem.

K46 - Courtyard outlook or Parapets in 5th edition. 5th edition added an encounter here. Neat. You have to linger here to fight Strahd's armor but you can. I don't have much more to say than it surely is an encounter that exists.

K49 - Lounge. I need to share that they changed the book titles here. One of the old ones is a gem in my opinion. "Identifying Blood Types: A Beginner's Handbook". I think it just neat. That's all.

K63 - Wine Cellar. This area is expanded quite a bit, flavor wise, in 5th edition. First off - potential encounter with a slime. Neat. Second, all the wine is explicitly from the Wizard of Wines. I like this, thats all.

[ID]

The document is a black and white image similar to the above image. The image is of Ireena Kolyana standing next to the portrait of Tatyana. Ireena's hair appears to be dark, messy, and long, going past her shoulders. Ireena appears to be wearing lipstick. Ireena's outfit is that of a traditional longsleeve vest and pants with a cloak. Around her neck is a cross with a gemstone in the center of the crucifix. The cloak around her neck is held in place by a clasp with a tassels and a gemstone in the middle of the clasp. Around Ireena's waist is a belt with three buckles, one in the center and one on each side of the middle buckle. The bottom of Ireena's shirt is a repeating pattern of a hollow white diamond with a black square in the center of each diamond and a white dot in the middle of each square. The diamond pattern is on a strip of black fabric. Ireena's pants appear to be dark in color with no discernable features. Ireena casts a shadow on the wall behind her on the left side of the image. In Ireena's left hand is her sword which she is pushing into the ground. The sword appears to be in its hilt and it cut off by the bottom of the image. The hilt has two circular inlays with gem stones. The bottom of the two inlays appears to be in the middle of a cross inlay. Near the top round inlay is a loop that has a strap passing through. Ireena's posture is tall and proud, with her right hand at her waist and her left arm leaning on her sword; clearly poising next to a portrait very similar to her appearance. She is facing the right

The portrait is of Tatyana. Tatyana is sitting in a chair, looking left of the viewer. Tatyana has the same face, hair, and lipstick as Ireena. On Tatyana's head is a crown and 3 strings of pearls from the crowns right end flowing behind her hair. Tatyana is wearing a dress with several sets of jewelry. The first is a large necklace with a round pendent with a inlaid gemstone At the end of the neck of the dress is another piece of jewelry, a diamond shaped button with a gemstone. Tatyana's hands are resting at her lap. Each wrist has a bracelet. At her waist is a cloth belt with circular buckle like piece. The chair she is sitting in has a curved back. The left portion of the chair is hidden and not visible. The right portion shows a carved accented arm that curves round into a spiral. Behind Tatyana is a curtain, that is drawn such that it curves behind her. The portrait's frame is heavily accented. The corners are three leaves facing outward, with the middle leaf being the largest, and a curved bow like accent attacked to the leaves, with the bow's guard or point facing the portait. At the middle of the frame section are additional smaller accents: A circle with a gemstone in the middle cut such that the circle looks to be two portions; from the gemstones are two curved limbs that mirror each other; where the limbs meet the circle are two small spikes pointing away from the portrait. Between all the accents are small circles in the middle of the frame's edges. Below the portait is the signature of Clyde Caldwel.

[End ID]

K67 - Guard's Hall or Hall of Bone in 5th edition. This area is very different. Like not the same area different almost. In 1st edition this is just a hallway. Thats it. Ok, Strahd does still kill is guards here, so there is stained blood still. But 5th edition adds in a whole skeleton/bone art sculpture made by Cyrus because why not honestly. That may come off as mean sounding, I think its actually just amazing. I have a soft spot for Cyrus. This can also be a spot for your treasure or Strahd's encounter which that isn't the case in 1st edition. Lastly, the ossuary has the skull of Argyvost which doesn't exist in 1st edition as I already have mentioned. Taking a step back, its interesting that 5th edition just invented a room. Like original Strahd did not have a bone room. You know, a room for bones of those he murdered. Granted he didn't make this, Cyrus made the bone zone. But is 5th edition Cyrus that much more wild compared to 1st edition then? Or better yet, Strahd just let him do this? That you can fight Strahd here or better find this tome here means he enjoys this room possibly? Like he is sitting at the end of a table in a chair of bone holding the dragon skull; what even? I don't know, there is more to say here than the bone room is cool but I love it. I need to know the reason behind the bone room minus "give the vampire a bone room". If its just that, kudos to the people fighting for this wonderful set piece. Such an amazing addition.

K75- South Dungeon. The real change is giving Emil a character. He does exist in 1st edition but he is unnamed and he just joins the party once freed to help kill Strahd but betrays the party once an opportunity arises. Emil is very similar in 5th edition unless the players know Zuleika (or she is your ally due to the reading) in which case he may join to help kill Strahd or just try to flee instead. I like that they made him a fully fleshed out character along with the werewolves without changing much of his actual role in the story unless you happen to get Zuleika as an ally which makes sense. I am not going into too much about Emil since his story is more related to the werewolves than the castle itself.

K78 - Brazier Room. This is very different/. The purpose of this room in I6 is to block the players from entering into the catacombs or other parts of the castle. Its a puzzle room with no hints other than an hourglass representing time in rounds, the golems each have unique stones their hands that can be thrown into the fire. Each stone has a different associated door and the golems won't attack unless the timer runs out. Other than this puzzle, there is a chest that 5th edition doesn't have for a good reason. First its trapped and if you open it from the front you fall asleep. If you can't be put magically asleep, the chest looks empty due to illusion magic after you open it from the front. So you need to open it from behind. Inside it has some spell scrolls, some potions, and of course a deck of many things. The deck of many things is a wonderful way to end a campaign; though I have no idea what the difference between 1st editions deck and 5th editions. I imagine not much has changed since 5th edition is quite brutal. There is probably a few 5th edition adventures that include the deck of many things somewhere but I don't personally like the item. In older editions where characters feel a bit more disposable, the deck is fine since it can just kill your character, but in 5th edition it can derail a campaign instantly. Anytime the deck has come out, the campaign almost instantly ends or becomes derailed since we now need to save a character because they pulled a card that does something awful to them.

5th edition completely changes this room to be a teleportation room to anywhere in Barovia basically using the same flame color puzzle but with a riddle which is nice and it removes the deck of many things for obvious reasons. I get the changes, it keeps the thematic purpose of the room the same and also removes the deck but also I miss the trap; one more final challenge if you need to get into the catacombs. The change also adds in flavor as to how Strahd can be everywhere in Barovia at any time, he can literally teleport. I think personally, the teleportation puzzle wasn't neccesary but the removal of the chest was. Curse of Strahd is a much longer campaign and to have it get derailed in the 9th hour would be unsatisfying for a lot of players. I6 is probably banking on the players using the deck once Strahd is dead as a treasure and hook for the next story. If you want a story with the Deck of Many Things, you could probably make it work as a way to keep your players in Ravenloft as a continuation but it might take some tweaking.

[ID]

The image is a black and white document of a knight with a sword and shield fighting zombies in water.. The image is similar to the previous image. The knight is on the left side of the image while the fully visible zombie is on the right. There are 3 zombified hands clawing up from the water; two near the knight and one in the background between the knight and zombie. The knight is positioned such that they are about to strike the zombie with their sword. The knight is wearing a helmet, scale mail, a shield, a curved sword, pants, greaves, and gauntlets. Their helmet is ornate with several curved inlays on the forehead of the helm. The top of the helm is spiked. The area of the helmet where the face would be located is open but there is no visible face. The helm curves down to guard the neck as it meets up with the scale mail. There is a strip of metal from the top of the helm to the base in the middle of the back of the helm. the scalemail flows from the neck to the upper thigh of the knight. On the knights shoulders is a set of pauldrons. The section of the scale mail around the neck is curved, suggesting that the helm scale mail section is on top of the body scale mail. The knight's overshirt is ripped apart at the chest, revealing the scale mail underneath. There is a strap from the knight's right shoulder flowing down to the left side of the knights waist with a buckle and gemstone inlay near the shoulder. At the end of the strap is a string of pearls or gemstones. Similarly, there is a mirroring strap that starts on the left should and meets the right side of the knights waist; this strap is thinner than the other strap. The shield is in the knight's left hand. The shield is round with a cross painted on the center of the shield. There is wear around the edges of the shield. In the knight's right hand is the curved sword. The sword appears to be a scimitar or a falchion. The swords guard curves up on both sides. Light creates a visible shine off the sword. The knight has a belt at their waist with six circular inlays each spaced equally. The knight's overshirt continues to the left of their body, covering part of their pants. The knight's pants are dark in color and have wrinkles near the right knee. The knight's right knee is protected by a their greaves. The top of the right boot is just visible above the water. One of the three zombie hands is grabbing at the knights right leg.

The zombie fighting the knight is crouched near the water with its left hand reaching to claw the knight and the right hand in the water. The zombies clothes are torn into rags. These rags barely cover the zombie, with big pieces of cloth dangling off the chest and left arm. The zombie's face is heavily decayed as it makes a gaunt snarl to the knight. The zombie's hair is ratty and short. Across the zombie's body are boils and scars. The zombie's chest is hidden and darkned.

The background of the image is misty on the left which flows down to the center of the image; with chains becoming visible in the right corner. The water of the image contains off colored pools around the knights legs, the middle zombified hand, and the zombies limbs in the water. In the bottom right corner of the image is signature of Clyde Caldwel.

[End ID]

The crypts are the next and generally, they either received more loot of flavor since most of they crypts in 1st edition are simple. Most are just text with flavor like "Beucephalus, The Wonder Horse. May the flowers grow ever greener where he trods" (yes they misspelled the name of Alexander the Great's horse in text, look at the last image in my post, Crypt 39). Anyway those that did have significant changes are listed below. Generally, assume Curse of Strahd gave each crypt either a description of the person interred or wealth inside the crypt if I did not mention anything in particular.

Crypt 6 - Marya Markovia. Her crypt is very different in Curse of Strahd. They added her thighbone as a weapon and changed her epithet from "Great was her beauty, undone by a jealous hand" to "Dead for all time". I think this was done to bring more flavor to the morninglord stuff since Barovia really didn't have any ties to the Morninglord other than some elements in "Vampire of the Mists", one of the Ravenloft novels.

Crypt 7 - Endrovich (Endrovich the Terrible) - In changing Marya Markvoia, Endrovich had to be changed. They explicitly call out Marya Markvoia as the one Endrovich loves but since Marya's crypt is Markvoia's crypt now, he just loves a generic Marya with no surname. He also doesn't haunt a gargoyle in 1st edition, he is just a specter you encounter. He also is guarding a stack of 3,400 gp in 1st edition.

Crypt 13 - King Intree Katsky- 1st edition this is just a named crypt with nothing. 5th edition gives him a gun! And a glider. Interestingly enough, firearms are not uncommon in flavor in Ravenloft. There is a lot of imagery and artwork of characters with firearms throughout Ravenloft in 2nd and 3rd edition source books so this is a fitting change.

Crypt 29 - Ivan Ivanovich, Beloved of Anna Betrovich- Yeah this is just not in 5th edition. This crypt is just straight up different. It belongs to Baron Eisglaze Drüf and has actual stuff in it, mainly a luck blade and brown mold for environmental cold damage. 1st edition just has nothing

Crypt 30 - Perfect Ciril Romulich - Since the morninglord doesn't exist yet, 1st edition does not have a holy symbol that blows up on evil creatures. Instead its 10 +1 arrorws, a scroll of raise dead and 3 potions, one is a potion of poison (yum), one is clairvoyance, and one is invulnerability.

Crypt 35 - This crypt is unused in 1st edition. The ghoul trap is new to 5th edition.

Crypt 37- Gralmore Nimblenobs. 5th edition does Nimblenobs dirty. He has so many more scrolls plus a +1 sword that can let you cast wish. Excuse me? I get the change but come on just the three scrolls for 5th edition and calling him "wizard ordinaire" is just bullying a dead guy who knew wish.

[ID]

The image of a black and white document of a vampire on the left side of the page and text on the right like previous images. The top of the pages has a similar border as previous images. The vampire is a women in a dress with a set of jewelery. The women's hair is long and dark, partially obscured by the darkness of the background. She is baring her fangs to the viewer. Her dress straps are thin. Her right hand is raised towards her face. Around her neck is a neclace with several gemstones. Around both arms are bracelets; her left arm has two bracelet while her right arm has a bracelet with 3 visible gemstones. Around her chest are several sets of bindings, one crossing under her breasts, one crossing at the waist, and two crossing around her chest forming an "x". The background of the image is darkness that fades to light from top to bottom. To the right of her waist is s signature of Clyde Caldwel.

Not all the text on the right is visible. The following is the visible text:

"A body in white clothing rots naturally, in small chest. Whithin the chest are 10+1 arrows and 3 bottles containing potions of poiso invulnerability

Crypt 31. '$$We knew him only by his wea

There is a large, bulging chest in the center is a trapper who attacks anyone that steps up

1 trapper: AC 3; MV 3"; HD 12; hp 62; #A AC; AL N.

Crypt 32. "St. Finderway, Saint of Lost Tr

The crypt is featureless except for two al Over the alcoves is written "Pass not the mortals!"

These alcoves are transmitting and r alcoves on the east sends thoses who enter alcove in K86. Stepping into the western receives persons teleporting from the west

Crypt 33.

The stone door is blank. This crypt has

Crypt 34. "King Dostron"

Crypt 35.

The stone door is blank. This crypt has

Crypt 36.

The stone door is clawed and marked so The tomb is empty

Crypt 37. "Gralmore Nimblenobs"

The stone door only gives the name abo within, rotting naturally. About the co one wish; a scrholl with hcarm monst polymoprh self spells; and a scroll w haste, lightning bolt, and slow spells.

Crypt 38. "Americo Standarski (Inve

When this crypt is opened, three pair out. Three hellhounds attack. These damage at up to 10 feet from their sco points if the character saves vs drago breath once per round for as many ro

3 hellhounds: AC 4; MV 12"; HD 5; hp + breath weapon; AL. LE.

Crypt 39. "Beucephalus, The Won grow ever greener where he trods."

This crypt has a larger door than all rears up when the door is opened breath obscures vision, blinds oppo"

[End ID]

For the rest of the crypt, there really isn't any changes. The trap that leads you to a pit full of enemies is from I6. Sergi's armor is +2 plate mail which is reflected in 5th edition, Stradh's teleport trap is the same, and you need to be lawful good to enter the tomb of Barov and Ravenovia; though 5th edition added the squeezing part for small sized player characters. Generally speaking, the crypt really didn't get changed. What was changed in Curse of Strahd was mainly done for balance purposes or to make the crypt more align with the canon that Curse of Strahd uses.

Now about those magic items. How different is the holy symbol or the sunsword. Surprisingly not much. The holy symbol basically has a daylight affect, though its different, weaker, and you can only use it once a week. However, your turn undead feature is stronger while using it. The sunsword is weird but also basically the same. The biggest difference in I6 is that you have to build it. One of the players who is a fighter with sword has the blade portion already, just they don't know it. The blade of the sunsword when not in the proper hilt acts like a normal blade. You have to take the blade out and put it in the sunswords hilt and then its a sunsword. Its a +2 sword except against undead which makes it a +3 and it does extra damage. The flavor of it being separated by a magician and then lost is is also from I6 but the flavor of the blade being Sergei's originally is not in I6.. Lastly, the Tome of Strahd; the passages are the same. I mean "I am The Ancient, I am The Land" is iconic so it would be a shame if 5th edition changed it. Given how much of the module is the same, the tome remaining unchanged is not surprising.

Lastly, talk about is the optional ending. I mentioned when I was talking about Ireena that the "Something Blue" special event in Krezk in Curse of Strahd occurs in I6. It is the optional ending that can play out once the players kill Strahd. I don't want to talk much more on Ireena but moving the ending to Krezk in Curse of Strahd makes sense. If we want other characters to be the ally against Strahd, having her story arc end once she arrives in Krezk feels appropriate.

Closing Thoughts

I know this was a fairly long post but I think it let me kind of go off on my random knowledge I have on Ravenloft as well as discuss some changes and liberties Curse of Strahd decided to take. Its a very iconic module and the fact that it has stood the test of time more or less unchanged is a testament to how impressive and popular this module was in the 1980s. It also gave me a bit of an insight as to the decisions the designers made in Curse of Strahd and their reasoning since despite staying faithful to I6, Curse of Strahd generally made changes for the better in my mind. I may have come across critical of Curse of Strahd but that is more than likely my own bias since WotC has somewhat shown disregard for second and third edition canon which has grown to upset me. If I were to expand upon my thoughts on Curse of Strahd, I would want to talk about it as a follow up since I ignored a majority of the module. I6 is fairly short compared to Curse of Strahd. That is to the benefit of Curse of Strahd, since it is able to flex its world building far more than I6. There were also some topics I never talked about, like the the monster stat blocks. Mainly because I don't have anything meaningful to say. I have never learned how to play older editions of D&D and I really only have passing knowledge. I can take photos and add them as an addendum is someone is able to explain what they actual mean.

Lastly, forgive me if I talk over topics several times in this post. It grew in scope and size several times and had a couple of re-writes. My brain is rot and its full of gothic horror.

#dnd #d&d #d&d 5e #curse of strahd #ravenloft #d&d lore #very long post #cw: slurs #ttrpg #dungeons and dragons

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edienotsedgwick · 2 days ago

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Good morning everyone (from New Zealand) hope you’re all having a lovely day!

Here is another group of Gazans to donate to or to reblog their stories at the very least! Some of them are repeat names that I’m still adding anyway as they clearly need a lot of eyes on their campaigns.

At some point soon I plan to make another post with some resources and a plea that will be able to help the majority of these families out on more of a mass scale - as there is only so much I can do as one person, and I need a team! It is in numbers that progress can be made.

There is also still only so much money I can give, not just due to personal unemployment in this moment, but also due to campaigns running exclusively off PayPal rejecting offers through the PayPal portal.

I get pop ups like this whenever I try. I would be happy to find another way to make this work but at the moment this puts a big hurdle on how much I can help.

So if you are able, please send donations of your own - or at least spread this post around to those who can.

@alamoudiblog

@drdarine

@youseffamily3

@abujaradfamilyfromgaz

@amanyay556

@mahmoudgazza6

@wessamfamily

@sameerblog11s (still an accessible blog just not taggable)

@ghadah-almadhoun

@amerfamily

@mahmuodanwar

@aiamaher2

@fadoo-1992

@ahmmed-gaza

@eman123123123

@ahmadfamily5

@swimmingblazenut

@sameerblogs13

@lenaps

@ahmadomar0

@mayarram

@mohammedaldeeb

@yasoo-301

@walafamily-94

@lailashaqoura

@ahmeed-gaza1998

@adambinali

@sfaamq10

@teenagebreadwitch

@yousifouda

@kisirahaf

@nisreensuhil

@ahmed-gaza0

@alihelles1997

@mohamed5679

@mofamily

@shareeffamily

@gazamanal3

@ahmed-almeshal

@mysticfancheesecake

@thelare21

@siraj-s4

@holydreamlandchaos

@mohammedayyads-blog

@noorfamily-24

@wasimhourani11

@yousef-fals

@mahmoudfamily2000

@lamahouranii8

@kawthar-22

@mahmoud12-jaafar

(This post will continue I’ve reached mention limit here)

!!! Palestinians in my asks who need d0nati0ns !!!

Hello everyone I have gotten a lot of asks from Palestinians and at this point there are so many to answer individually I thought it would be better to make a proper post for all of them at once. I encourage all of you to pick at least one campaign, donate and reblog this post. Even if it’s five dollars these people have said a little goes a long way. Most of these people are verified, but the ones who are not I trust.

@mohammednasers-blog is only 17 and still a high school student. Him and his family have been displaced four times. He is currently running his own campaign, not only to help his family evacuate from Gaza but also to complete his education.

@mohiy-gaza is currently looking to evacuate Gaza with his chronically ill mother. He is 23 and has just finished University.

@ehabayyad23 - Ehab has a family of 20 members who are all looking to evacuate

@fatma93-gaza - Fatma is a mother of five children from northern gaza. Oldest is 12. Has been displaced 17 times. Youngest girl has been weaned off milk early because there is an unavailability of milk.

@naseranam225 - Israa is a new mother whose youngest child Enaam was born less than two months ago and is evacuating in order for the children to grow up in a safe environment.

@noorabd1992 - Nour is a new father who’s wife gave birth to his second son only four months ago. Family has been displaced seven times.

@free-gaza2 - Doaa used to work in Palestinian hand embroidery. Her workshop in gaza was destroyed. She is in Egypt now but currently wants donations for a new workshop to build her livelihood in embroidery again.

@safaa18mero - safaa was a student before the genocide, and she recently gave birth to a child in the middle of it.

@doaaomar1234 - Doaa is a mother with an autistic child who she is in Egypt with. She is currently still trying to evacuate the rest of her family and get treatment to help her child have a good quality of life.

@fedao - Fidaa is in a family of five who are looking to evacuate after more than 282 days of displacement

@salahaldinahhorsblog - Salahhaldin is a father with three daughters. He has obtained a masters degree in finance and was aiming to advance his career before the genocide. He lived in Belgium for six months before returning to gaza to make sure his daughters weren’t alone.

@bilalassadabedrou - Bilal is a student and a software developer. He plans to evacuate to Egypt and then search for another country to continue his studies

@Hins76178 Hani’s child Razan has gone deaf due to the sounds of explosions and missiles and needs a cochlear implant. She aims to evacuate in order to seek that treatment.

@kefahfamily - Kifah has lost her husband, a nurse who was martyred early on and it has deeply affected her and her children.

@alaak2025 - Alaa is an engineer with two children, she has evacuated with them but is now looking for donations to rebuild her life from scratch.

@malakabed - Malak is a medical student who has been displaced more than 20 times seeking safety. His brother was martyred while trying to fetch water for him and his family. He wants to evacuate with the rest of his family and continue his medical studies.

PLEASE SHARE! PLEASE DONATE! DO ANYTHING YOU CAN!

#TxT srs #free gaza #free palestine #gaza genocide #gaza strip #gazaunderattack #gaza #save gaza #gaza fundraiser #gaza gfm #i stand with palestine #palestine fundraiser #palestine gfm

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david-watts · 1 year ago

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one thing I really Do Not like about having no adblock at uni because you can't install things onto the computers is the sheer amount of fair australia and advance australia ads I get. I wanna report them because the claims in the video are tbh bullshit but apparently no can't do that

#after her comments on welcome to country ceremonies I just. cannot stand that senator.#if she's willing to lie about her own peoples' culture what else is she willing to lie about #and she's in every. single. one.#it makes me angry just how often I have to see stuff from those racists because lbr the no campaign isn't coming from a progressive place #and not to mention those groups making the ads.#tbh the yes campaign can't rely on being truthful alone. they need to start blasting ads at the same rate #not a fan of advertising but unless we want to wait another few decades for a second attempt...

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inkskinned · 2 years ago

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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

#writeblr #warm up #i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books #(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild #but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning #and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go #anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct #i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers #i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once #it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because #when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that #a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN #who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends #i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!

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front-facing-pokemon · 7 months ago

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#gross. gross! i do not like this thing. two alternate angles under the cut for those of you who like this thing because i am about to tear #into it so hard. ahem #enamorus #this thing is ugly as fuck. all of the genies were already ugly as fuck and now this thing only makes that worse. all of their therian form #were like MILDLY better but this one takes that trend and just throws it out the window #like the anteater nose is FUNNY especially on a legendary but LORD DON'T MAKE ME LOOK AT IT #not to mention its boss fight taking place in the fucking SWAMP with all the SLOWY WATER #and it just ZOOMS AROUND AND TELEPORTS if i remember correctly #like the LAST fuckin pokémon in the pokédex you can catch and it looks like THIS??? why did we need another genie. what #i understand the trend in gen 8 where they kept adding new legendaries to already established like. groups. like regieleki and regidrago #but THIS group is one that DID NOT NEED ONE #like i can see the additions to the regis!!! they're cool additions and really modernize the trio into a quintet!! but this is just RIDICUL #sorry tumblr cut me off there. this is just RIDICULOUS #ooouuhhhuhuhuh all the other genies are buff men with beards but this one's a laaaady bc it's pink!! and fairy-type!!! and small!! a #NO!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!! WE DON'T NEED IT!!!!!! PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME!!!!#it's literally like. the last pokémon in gen 9. i'm gonna have to start worrying about gen 9 models RIGHT after this #teechnically. i'm actually queuing this thing up before i'm done with all the hisuian forms so i have a bit of time #but it'll Look like it comes last in the queue right before gen 9 #here's praying i have something figured out by then? but i doubt it because i've just started a new job #and that's probably gonna be taking a lot of my time until then

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girlygguk · 6 months ago

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FIRST CLASS | JJK (m)

SUMMARY in which you are just another spoiled, bitchy, annoyingly gorgeous trust-fund baby who has everyone at Yonsei University eating from the palm of your hand. and jeon jungkook, your spoiled, fuck-boy, annoyingly gorgeous trust-fund baby best friend, is always first in line to take a bite.

𓍯𓂃

PAIRING rich student!jk x (f)rich student!reader

WORDCOUNT 25k+

RATING 18+ MINORS DNI

GENRE smut, fluff, angst. university au, f2l

CONTENT childhood best friends, nepo baby!reader, nepo baby!jk, tae sister!reader, heavy pining, heavy cursing, a bit of crack throughout, (soft?) fuckboy!jk, whipped!jk, simp!jk, kinda emotionally constipated!reader, lack of & miscommunication, the most dramatic fic you’ll ever read, jk has his tats & shorter hair (ref in banner pic), jk is a tits guy and reader has big tiddies, jk & reader are very touchy and lovey friends, reader is kind of a bitch to those she doesn't care about, reader is rich but jk is richer 😩, arguments between mcs, jealousy, bottled up feelings, toxic/unhealthy friendship if u were to really think about it, jk & reader have active sex lives beforehand, reader is in a fwb situation beforehand, there is an explicit scene between reader & a side character (but no sex), punch up/fight scene/blood, potential/near-miss car accident, 2 scenes where characters get badly physically injured, alcohol consumption, use of a few male idol names (mingyu, jaehyun, felix), the rest of bangtan are side characters, the last like 9k(?) is literally just smut helppp, happy ending.

18+ WARNINGS making out, grinding, dry humping, fingering (f rec.), oral (both rec.), slight exhibition?..you'll see, pet names during sex, dirty talk, use of the word slut in praise, so much praising, biting, jk likes the pain ok, body worship, tiddy sucking, mentions of tiddy fucking, ball play, nipple play, multiple orgasms, bigg dick jk, soft dom!jungkook, subby!reader, unprotected sex, ocs a pro dick riderr 🙂‍↕️, creampie, sweet aftercare

author's note thank you all so much for the love on the teaser! it truly motivated me to finish this quicker than i ever expected. however, proofing such a long piece was a veryyy different experience to what i'm used to, so if u see any inaccuracies or timeline inconsistencies... no u don't <3

main masterlist | join my taglist | banner credit

first class ; noun /ˌfəːs(t) ˈklɑːs/ a set of people or things grouped together as the best.

The biting cold of the winter evening settles over Yonsei University's lacrosse field, floodlights casting long shadows on the frosted grass. You pull your mink coat tighter around yourself, the chill seeping through despite your layers. Sitting on the bleachers with Park Jimin and his twin sister, Park Minji, you watch the game unfold.

The match is in full swing: Yonsei versus Hanyang, another top South Korean university. The excitement is palpable as the outdoor stadium fills with spectators, creating a sea of blue and green—the colors of the respective teams they are rooting for. Jimin wears a blue puffer jacket in support, while your roommate Minji is swimming in a blue long-sleeve sports jersey that definitely does not belong to her, you think with a smirk.

You initially weren't going to attend tonight due to other plans, which is why you aren't sporting anything blue. But, after a whiny 20-minute call from your insufferable best friend, you canceled on Mingyu last minute and tagged along with the Parks. Not that you would've dressed in all royal blue anyway… you're not fucking crazy. But maybe you would've added a blue ribbon to your hair or something.

Taehyung and Jungkook, co-captains of the Yonsei team, are in their element, dominating the field with effortless skill. You watch as your brother and Jungkook easily clear the opposing team, their movements synchronized and precise.

Jimin nudges you with a gloved hand, his breath visible in the frigid air. "Your brother and Kook are killing it out there," he says, his eyes following the action on the field.

You nod, cheeks flushed from the cold. Giving him a hum in agreement, you glance over at Minji. Her focused gaze keeps drifting back to Number 12, almost subconsciously, before realizing and snapping back to the middle of the field.

You look away in amusement, focusing on the game again and watching as Number 12, Kim Namjoon, swiftly catches the ball flying through the air with his racket before bolting through an opening in Hanyang's layout.

As the game progresses, the Hanyang team rallies, their determination pushing them closer and closer to Yonsei's lead. The crowd tenses as the score tightens, but you remain composed. You've seen this scenario play out countless times before.

There are 20 seconds left in the match, and Yonsei is down by two points. The twins have matching pouts on their lips, beginning to come to terms with your school receiving their first defeat of the season.

You watch as Hanyang makes the pitiful mistake of trying to make a risky pass by Number 1.

In the blink of an eye, Number 1's racket shoots out and intercepts the catch, and with a final burst of speed, Jungkook breaks right through the opposing defense. His eyes lock on the goal, and with a powerful swing, he sends the ball soaring into the net.

The crowd erupts, cheers reverberating across the field as the final buzzer blares, signaling the end of the game. You can't help but smile at Jungkook's skill.

The Yonsei team quickly swarms around Jungkook, their cheers morphing into a sea of bodies that envelop him, eventually toppling him to the ground in a dogpile. As they begin to disperse, Taehyung leans down to his co-captain with a proud grin.

Jungkook takes Taehyung's hand with a chuckle, the elder hoisting him to his feet before draping an arm around his shoulder. Jungkook pulls off his helmet, shaking out his damp curls, which cling stubbornly to his forehead. His eyes then drift towards the bleachers, where he suddenly loses his train of thought.

There you are, in all your glory—wrapped in a long, expensive chocolate mink coat, cheeks flushed pink from the cold air.

Your smooth legs, sheathed in sheer stockings, disappear into boots that likely cost as much as a teenager's first car. He wonders about the color of your skirt hidden beneath your coat—is it brown to match, or black to complement your boots? The color, he isn't certain, but he does know it is either a skirt or a dress. You would never be caught dead in trousers and even avoid jeans if you can. Personally, Jungkook thinks you look spectacular in jeans.

Your hair hangs loose, styled pin-straight but tousled slightly by the breeze, and his fingers itch to tuck the stray strands behind your ear. You are engrossed in conversation with Jimin and Minji as the three of you descend the bleacher seats, now heading towards him and your brother. Your brother, who is now holding his helmet under his right arm, uses his left to tug his best friend out of his trance and towards their friends.

You and the Park siblings weave through the amped-up crowd before finally reaching where the co-captains are peeling off their gloves.

Jimin clasps Taehyung's hand, pulling him into a warm, brotherly hug. "That was a fucking game, Tae!" He exclaims, a wide grin spreading across his face before giving the same greeting to Jungkook.

Minji follows suit, hugging Taehyung quickly before turning to Jungkook with a playful smirk. “You had us scared for a second, Kook,” she teases, “thought you weren’t gonna make that last shot.”

Jungkook chuckles, returning Minji's hug before leaning back and chucking his helmet on the ground, waiting for you to finish congratulating your brother.

"All part of the show," he replies to the twin with a wink before you pull away from Tae and float to him like second nature.

Nobody bats an eye as your arms slink around his shoulders, linking behind his neck. His taller frame leans down slightly on instinct, and his arms wrap around your waist. His face buries gently into your neck, pulling you a little closer. Your perfume renders Jungkook dazed, and he knows that he is a sweaty mess and smells like one too, but even if you notice, you don't mention it.

"Hi," he mumbles, his breath tickling your skin, causing you to smile and pull away slightly.

"Hi," you echo sweetly, noticing his eyes flicker down to where your coat has parted and your black Hermès mini-skirt peeks through.

You are about to ask him if he likes it because you just bought it yesterday, but he is quick to draw your coat tighter around you, probably not wanting the cold air to nip at you any longer.

He picks up his helmet and gloves, his tattooed arm slipping comfortably over your shoulder as the five of you head towards the locker rooms.

Your head rests against the side of his chest while you walk, and your friends are still beaming about Yonsei's fourth consecutive win of the season. Jungkook slows his steps slightly, letting the rest of your group pull slightly ahead.

"Glad you came," he says softly, his skin tingling as your nails lightly scratch against his shirt where your hand rests around his waist.

"Yeah, you better be," you hum teasingly, "Mingyu was not happy."

Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat before forcing out a laugh, "Tell him I'll make it up to him. Take him out on a date myself."

Your giggle soothes the ache in his chest before it returns tenfold at your response, "wasn't a date. Was just going to see him."

"Ohhaahah," his attempt at a laugh comes out more strained than he intends, and you snort, amused by his discomfort.

Before he can protest, you interlock his hand with yours and lead him towards the locker room, his steps quickening to match yours. He follows behind you like a puppy dog, as if this was your locker room and you were showing it to him for the first time.

A chaotic mix of celebration and exhaustion echoes throughout the building as you walk through the door that Tae holds open. The smell of sweaty lacrosse players all but hits you in the face, and Jungkook watches in amusement as your nose scrunches slightly. The warm air is welcoming though, and you let out a sigh as it works to defrost your frozen skin.

The changing room is packed to the brim with sweaty college boys high-fiving, recounting the game's highlights, and shedding off their gear. Jungkook lets go of your hand when you and Minji go over to say hi to Namjoon.

Taehyung is caught up in conversation with the coach, who is commending the team's performance and already running through some things they can work on in preparation for next month's match.

"Jaykayyyyyy!!"

"Let's fucking gooo, Jeon!"

"Good shit tonight, JK!"

You release Namjoon from the hug and turn towards the sudden commotion coming from the other side of the locker room.

Your best friend is at the center of the group, his teammates slapping his back and tousling his hair while showering him with praise. You notice his bunny-like teeth peeking out as he grins. No matter how confidently he carries himself throughout the day, he still flushes at compliments, which makes you roll your eyes amusedly.

Jungkook breaks away from the group and heads to his locker to check his phone while you return your attention to Namjoon and Minji, who are now caught in a quiet conversation.

You head over to Jimin, who looks to be passionately explaining something to Hobi and Yoongi, judging by his broad and exaggerated hand movements. He is a drama major though, so you can never be too sure.

A vibrating noise cuts your journey short. You fish your phone from your coat pocket and begrudgingly slip out of the locker room back into the cold air before answering. "Hey, Gyu."

"Hey, Y/N." Mingyu's tone is low and strained, like he’s in pain almost.

You tuck the strands of hair that were getting picked up by the wind behind your ear. "How can I help you?" you ask.

"Y/N," he grunts out a pained laugh, and you click.

You hear shuffling on the other side of the line while he sits up against his headboard.

"Yes? What do you need?" You're not going to do the work for him, and he knew that. He felt pathetic even making the call in the first place.

He goes quiet for a moment, and you pull your phone from your ear to glance at the time. "It's only 8 pm, and you sound like you're already in bed."

Mingyu nods as if you could see him, "I am. I have been for a while," he admits before asking you how the game was. You know he didn't actually give a shit about the game, but you still entertain him and answer

He drags out the conversation for a few minutes, running his hand through his hair at your voice. He doesn't want to hear it through the phone; he wants to hear it in person. He wants you to be in his room right now, like you said you would be.

Mingyu hates how disinterested you sound. Mingyu also hates how that very disinterested tone makes his cock throb in his sweatpants. You couldn't care less about him, whereas all he's been doing since you canceled on him three hours ago is lay in bed and fucking think about you. He sighs before biting the bullet, "Are you still coming over?"

Your brows furrow slightly, "Oh, I thought I told you that I was—"

"Can you still come over?" He rephrases his question, "please?"

Your lips purse as you consider it for a second. You don't have any classes tomorrow, so you guess you could head to his later tonight.

You're about to respond when the sound of the door opening behind you causes you to turn around.

You watch as the wealthiest student in the entire university approaches you, now dressed in a plain black hoodie and a pair of joggers, running a towel through his wet hair. It no longer looks sweaty wet but instead shampooed wet, so you assume he had a quick shower. "Hey, you okay? Why are you out here in the cold?"

"One second," you say into the phone before lowering it and moving closer to Jungkook. He closes your fur coat tightly around you again as it comes open from the strong wind while he waits for your response.

"Came out here to take a call. Too loud in there."

He nods, throwing the towel over his shoulder. "'K. We're going to Hanji's to eat. Did you want to ride with me?"

You're about to agree without even thinking when you remember the boy waiting on the other end of the call.

"Ah," you mutter, lifting the phone back to your ear. "I'll come over at like 11?" you say to Mingyu, not catching the frown that coats Jungkook's lips.

Mingyu almost protests but knows that 11 is better than nothing and stops himself. "Sweet. Just text me if you need me to pick you up."

You thank him before saying your goodbyes and ending the call. You look up at your best friend, his gaze unfocused. "Can I?" you ask.

"Hmm?" he hums, blinking a few times before focusing on your face.

"Ride with you?"

"Yeah," he smiles down at you, letting you link your arm with his as he leads you back into the warm locker room.

˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗

Hanji's is loud. The clamor of sizzling grills and busy cooks no match for the chatter of students and customers that fill the room. You sip on an iced tea as your friends laugh and chat, still basking in tonight's victory.

Snug between your brother and Jungkook, you rest your head on the latter's shoulder, sipping your drink through a paper straw. His arm drapes over the back of the booth's chair, allowing you to settle comfortably as he chats with the swim team captain, Jin, who sits on the opposite side of the booth.

Your coat is folded on Jungkook's lap now that you're surrounded by the warm air of the diner, and his tattooed fingers play absentmindedly with the spaghetti strap of your top.

Taehyung leans over and snatches a dumpling from your untouched plate with his chopsticks, causing you to glance at him in faux annoyance. Your brother knows you don't actually care and flashes you a big, toothy grin which you can’t help but return.

You push the plate toward him, wordlessly telling him to have it all and his eyes light up for a split second before his brows furrow. "Why aren't you eating?" he asks concernedly, his words slightly muffled by a mouthful of food.

"Ate just before the game, I'm full," you reply, nodding when he asks if you're sure and watching him grab another dumpling.

Liar. Jungkook thinks as he watches Jin's mouth move but is unfocused on the words he's actually saying.

You don't eat before a link, a habit of yours Jungkook is very aware of, having asked you not to do it countless times before.

It's not that deep, you always tell him; you just don't enjoy sex much with a full stomach, it makes you feel sorta sick. And food always tastes better after sex anyway.

He glances down at you for a second, and you're already looking his way, your pretty eyes boring into his as if daring him to mention anything to your brother. His tongue darts out to lick his lips as he turns away, attempting to hide his smile at your attitude.

Jin cracks a joke and glances at you for a reaction, prompting you to roll your eyes and laugh. He pumps his fist in the air triumphantly, earning a playful smack from his girlfriend.

Your friends are always like that—acting as if making you laugh is some monumental achievement. You're not a masochist; you don't avoid laughing on purpose. But you're rich, intelligent, and pretty... It takes a lot to impress you. Jungkook makes you laugh a lot though.

Seated next to Jin is his gorgeous high-school sweetheart, Mia, and next to her is your ever-so pouty housemate, Minji. You quietly observe Minji's gaze as it frequently drifts to the booth adjacent to yours, where Yoongi, his boyfriend Hobi, Jimin, and, most importantly, Namjoon are seated.

Minji sighs softly, snapping out of her daze as she looks down at her cider. Taehyung is laughing at something Jin said, leaning forward in front of you slightly to engage in conversation with the swimmer on the other side of the table. You take this moment to check on your friend.

Your head lifts off Jungkook's shoulder, and he resists the urge to turn and ask why, trying to stay focused on the story his Hyung is telling. You catch Minji's eye, offering her a small, questioning smile. She returns it as best she can before her expression morphs back into a troubled pout, and she shakes her head slightly.

You nod in understanding, tapping Jungkook's thigh as a signal that you'll be right back and ask Taehyung to let you out of the booth. Your brother stands, allowing you to shuffle out, and you grasp Minji's hand, tugging her along to the restroom.

Jungkook glances over, watching you usher Minji away from the table, and from the corner of his eye, he notices Namjoon looking over too.

Fifteen minutes go by, and you're reapplying Minji's mascara, which she cried off during her tearful spiel about her situationship.

"It's like h-he—" she pauses to hiccup, and you move the wand away to let her breathe, "—he just likes to mess with my fucking head! Every time we hook up he's all like 'Minjiiiiyahhh,'" you snicker at her imitation of his voice.

"’I can't get enough of you! I wanna do this forever!' but then when we're with everyone, it's like he's scared to even stand next to me! God, is he like, embarrassed of me or something?" She seethes, shaking her head in frustration.

You lift a tissue to her lash line, dabbing at the fresh tears brewing and scoff. "Embarrassed of you? Don't be ridiculous," you say, capping the mascara and sliding it back into her clutch, giving up on the rescue mission as the tears just keep coming.

"You are gorgeous," you turn your body to lean against the basin with her, linking her arm in yours. "Smart," you continue, resting your head on her shoulder. "Funny... sometimes," you tease, and she lets out a tearful giggle, her trembly hands curling around your arm as she snuggles into you in gratitude.

"God, I'm literally wearing his jersey. How pathetic." She laughs at herself, and your brows furrow slightly.

"How is that pathetic? I'm sure he wanted you to wear it, didn't he?"

"Well yeah... He was actually really cute when he asked if I would. He was all shy and shit. Fuck sakes," she groans in frustration, "it makes everything even more confusing!"

"Maybe he's just shy about showing affection in front of people? I mean, he is literally a computer science major..." You trail off and smile when she whines and wacks the arm of yours that she's leaning on.

"Seriously, though, don't cry over a guy, Min. And especially don't question your worth because of him." The bathroom falls silent except for her soft sniffles at your words.

You hand her the tissue that you're holding before adding, "You need to talk and set things straight with him, or you're just going to continue hurting." You internally scoff at the hypocrisy of your own words, but your roommate is none the wiser, nodding at you in agreement.

After a moment, she speaks quietly, "I wish I could be more like you."

"How so?" you ask, though you already have an inkling.

"You never get attached to the guys you hang with. I wish I could do that. It seems so much more freeing."

You hum half-heartedly in response, watching her dab at her eyes one last time before turning to wash her hands. Her words linger, echoing in your mind longer than they should. No, you don't get attached. Because you already know firsthand just how much it fucking sucks when the feelings aren't mutual.

˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗

It's 11:12 pm. The scent of your Chanel No. 5 lingers in the air, blending with Jungkook's soft hums to his car radio. The warm air from the heater makes your eyes droop slightly.

"You have a nice voice," you murmur, toying with the tattooed fingers resting on your stocking-clad thigh.

He glances at you briefly, a small smile playing on his lips. "You always say that," he replies, eyes returning to the road as he stops at a red light.

"Because it's true," you state simply. "Do you disagree?"

He laughs softly at your bluntness, a familiar flush creeping up his neck. "Maybe."

"Hm," you roll your eyes, lifting one of his fingers and letting it drop before repeating the motion with the others. "Whatever, golden boy."

"Ya," he chuckles, squeezing your thigh gently, "don't call me that."

You tilt your head slightly, meeting his gaze. "You let everyone else call you that."

His lips purse into a slight pout. "Not you."

You blink at him, the corner of your lips twitching into a smile at his big, boba eyes. He just keeps staring at you, letting you fiddle with his hand. After a few long moments, you giggle at his dazed-out expression. "Light's green, Gukkie."

He snaps out of it instantly, facing back toward the road, and his foot hits the gas pedal a little quicker than intended. That's better, he thinks.

A few minutes later, he turns into the familiar entrance of Yonsei University, steering the car down the path that leads to the Delta Sigma Phi fraternity house. As he pulls into a parking spot in front of the building, you're halfway through sending a text, so he waits for you to finish before cutting off the heater.

You lock your phone and glance up just as he extracts the keys from the ignition. He pats your thigh gently before climbing out of the car. You follow suit, rounding the vehicle to meet him by the driver's side.

Instinctively, he reaches for your hand, fingers entwining, and you rest your head against his arm as you both ascend the front steps to the frat.

The foyer is dark as Jungkook leads you inside. He maneuvers through the hall effortlessly, even without his sight. He guides you up the stairs to the second floor, your hands still locked together, and he turns to face you when you reach the door to his bedroom.

You look up at him with a dumb smile, and he leans down to bury his face in your neck before he says something dumber. His back presses against the door, and as you lean into him, the scent of his clean, linen hoodie fills your senses.

Jungkook's love language is physical touch, and you let him have his moment, keening slightly when he nudges the side of your neck with his pretty nose. YYour phone buzzes in your pocket, but you ignore it, wanting to spend five more minutes with your best friend.

"Do you have class tomorrow?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper, not wanting to be heard by his housemates.

He doesn't say anything, just shakes his head wordlessly, his curls tickling your skin as he does.

"Movie tomorrow then?" you suggest softly, letting him lean back slightly to look at you.

The moment you see the flicker of guilt in his eyes, you know his response before he even forms the words. His pouty lips part, ready to offer an excuse when you squint your eyes and lean away from him.

"Jesus, Jeongguk." You groan, still keeping your voice low, but he can hear the annoyance loud and clear. "Why do you get all pouty and sad when you have other plans? It's okay."

Jungkook's eyebrows furrow. He edges forward, trying to maintain some form of physical contact, but you just shrug him off. "I already agreed to it last night. I'm sorry, Y/N."

You let out a frustrated sigh and roll your eyes. "Why are you fucking apologizing?" Your words have bite, but he doesn't react, simply leaning closer to you even though you continue to distance yourself.

You know you're overreacting in a sense, but every time he has plans with a girl, he always apologizes with that stupid fucking pout and those stupid fucking puppy dog eyes. And it's only when it's with another girl.

You weren't upset; you were well aware of his active sex life. It's like he expects you to burst into tears whenever he tells you he's seeing someone. Why the fuck would you care?

Jungkook reaches out to you in a last attempt to grab your hand, and you just stare at it, not making any move to accept the gesture. He sighs, letting his hand fall to his side while he looks at your pissed-off expression.

"Why?" You try again.

Jungkook's shoulders slump, and he looks down, avoiding your gaze. "I don't know," he responds softly. He barely catches the annoyance on your face fading, soon replaced with something that tugs at his heart even more—boredom.

"Okay then, Gukkie. Sleep well, we'll talk later," you say, nodding as you step closer to him. Your arms wrap around him in a quick hug, and before he can even react, you're walking down to the other end of the hall.

Jungkook's eyes stay focused on the ground, listening to your footsteps getting further away.

It's not until he hears a soft knock on his frat-mate's bedroom door and a fucked-out, "Shitttt, look at you," come from Mingyu that he scoffs, turning into his room and slamming the door behind him.

Thirty minutes pass, then an hour, then two, as Jungkook lies grumpily on his bed, glaring at his bedroom ceiling.

There was an unmistakable bang of a headboard against the wall down the hall at minute forty-five, followed quickly by your hushed voice telling Mingyu to keep it down. Jungkook hasn't been able to close his eyes since.

"Why are you fucking apologizing?"

Your words ring in his head as he tosses under his blanket uncomfortably, giving up before ripping it off his body a bit too aggressively, causing it to fall to the ground.

"I don't know."

Dirty fucking liar, his subconscious snickers.

Of course he knew. He's always fucking known. It's subconscious; the way he can't stop the apology from spewing from his lips every time.

He wants you to be upset. He wants you to get angry at him for sleeping with other girls. He wants you to ask him not to go.

But you don't. You never do. If anything, you encourage it. And there he is, apologizing like a fucking idiot for something that you don't even care about. Every time he sees that disinterested look in your eyes, it feels like a sour punch to the gut.

Jungkook's mind races as he tries to figure out why he keeps doing this to himself. Why he keeps hoping for a reaction that never comes. He thinks about the way you hugged him earlier, the fleeting moment of closeness before you walked away without a second thought. You're so good at that.

He rolls onto his side, trying for the nth time to close his eyes, the sounds of your muffled laughter and Mingyu's low murmurs mocking him through the thin walls.

Jungkook clenches his jaw, the frustration gnawing at him, a constant reminder of what he can't have. He wants to move on, to stop letting you have this power over him. He laughs at the thought.

˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗

Two days later, you're sitting in your afternoon Linguistics class, sandwiched between Jimin and Aerum. Why Jimin didn’t take the spot in the middle if he was going to let her sit near you guys, you’re un-fucking-sure.

Aerum isn't part of your inner circle, but she likes hanging around. You know her type—fake and a gossip. She attempts to make small talk with you throughout the class, but your answers are curt and disinterested.

"—even surprised? As if Jeongguk hasn't slept his way through half the campus already." Aerum giggles, twirling a strand of her hair. That gets your attention.

You don't even look up from your notebook, continuing to jot down what the professor says. "Don't talk about him like that," you say, your tone flat, causing Aerum to falter for a second.

She nervously chuckles, "It's not a secret he gets around, Y/N. You know that..."

Unamused, you finish off your notes, letting her brew for a second, before finally lifting your gaze. You lean in a little, and Aerum shuffles closer as if you were about to let her in on some juicy tea.

"I don't care if he took your mother over the kitchen counter and made you watch." Aerum's lips part at your words, leaning back slightly in shock. "Don't talk about him like that. Matter of fact, don't talk about him at all."

She malfunctions for a second before nodding dazedly, quickly turning to face the front of the class for the first time today. You return to your notebook uninterestedly as Jimin lets out a loud snort, leaning over to hide his face in your shoulder.

The class continues without further interruptions, and when the professor finally wraps it up, you begin putting your things away. Jimin holds your bag for you like he always does as you make your way out of the classroom. Aerum follows behind like a kicked puppy.

With no more classes for the day, you and Jimin had planned to go to the campus café for a study date. Much to your dismay, Jimin had invited Aerum when she overheard you talking about it at the beginning of Linguistics. Jimin is kind to everyone, a trait of his that you somewhat admire, but in this case, it just made you want to slam his laptop shut over his fingers.

Once you reach the café, you find an empty table at the back while Jimin goes to the counter to order your usual drinks, Aerum trailing behind him quietly.

As you set your things down, you notice your phone at the top of your bag. You pick it up, deciding to text Jungkook because you haven't seen him in a couple of days, and you miss him. Maybe he can come study.

It's as if the universe heard your thoughts because suddenly, you feel a pair of sturdy arms wrap around your waist, pulling you into a broad chest. You smile when his familiar cologne reaches your nose and quickly spin around to pull him down into a proper hug.

"I was literally just about to text you," you tell him as he snuggles into your neck.

"You studying?" he murmurs into your skin, his warm breath tickling you slightly.

"Mhm, with Jiminie and Aerum," you reply, leaning back slightly. He scrunches his nose in protest when you pull away but lets you go.

"Cool, I could use a break," he says, his eyes twinkling as he takes a seat next to you, casually slinging his arm over the back of your chair.

"Where were you heading?" you ask as you both settle down, and he helps you spread out your supplies.

"Just dropping some gear off to coach on campus. Saw you through the window," his gaze flickers over your outfit before he smiles softly. "You look pretty."

You smile cutely at the compliment, and his heart skips a beat.

Jungkook suppresses a sigh. You look so sweet in your white cashmere sweater and creamy plaid Burberry skirt, but the way your body fills it out is anything but. Not a single hair out of place, you look sinfully and irrevocably perfect.

Jimin returns with the drinks and almost gets a fright from the lacrosse captain. "Hey, Kook," he says with a grin, handing you your iced coffee.

Aerum, holding her drink, looks slightly flustered but tries to mask it with a smile. "Hi, Jungkook," she says, her voice a little too sweet.

Jungkook nods at her politely before turning his attention back to you. "What subject?" He leans over to grab your textbook, and before you can answer, Aerum takes a seat and chimes in.

"Linguistics," she smiles, and Jungkook nods while flipping through the textbook.

You're logging into Jimin's laptop while he licks the whipped cream from the top of his frappe like a cat. You snort at the blonde before opening the shared doc that he and you have. You're begin to scroll through the pages, trying to find where you left off last time, but the sound of Aerum's continuous pestering distracts you.

"—again tonight or something?" You only catch the end of her sentence, but by the flirty tone she's only just now using, you assume she's speaking to Jungkook.

"Aish, Aerum…" Jungkook laughs awkwardly, flicking through the pages of your textbook as if it would somehow teleport him away from the situation.

"Yeah, yeah, I know you don't do round 2's. Make an exception? For me?" She pouts cutely, and even Jimin can't resist the urge to cringe into his cup.

Jungkook looks over at you for a moment; whether it's for help or a reaction, he doesn't know, but he's not surprised when you don't even look up from the laptop. Just continuing to scroll through your document.

He can't even stop the words from coming out before he says them, "Yeah, okay."

Jimin's brows furrow in surprise. You keep scrolling.

"Yeah?" Aerum can't hide the surprise in her own voice, giddy nonetheless.

"Yeah." He nods at her, looking down at your textbook, wishing it would telepathically lift up and knock him out cold.

An hour flies by, during which you and Jimin make significant progress on the paper, having already completed a quarter of it.

Aerum, however, proves to be an absolute dead weight, giving weak half-assed responses whenever Jimin tries to involve her in the research. Her focus is solely on flirting with Jungkook.

If she even thinks of attempting to slip her greasy little name on this project once you and Jimin are done, you'll take great satisfaction in bringing her back down to reality.

You finish typing a sentence on Jimin's laptop before locking it and giving him a look. He understands immediately and stands up to pack his things wordlessly.

You're beyond irritated—not because Jungkook and Aerum are practically on the verge of fucking right on top of the café table, but because they're doing it while you're trying to work. Frustrated and disgusted, you uncharacteristically bite your tongue and sling your bag over your shoulder.

"You're leaving?" Jungkook's head snaps to you the moment he notices you standing up, and he follows suit, Aerum tagging along behind him.

"Yep," you nod, grabbing Jimin's arm when he extends it to you and heading for the café exit.

"Are you—shit," Jungkook stutters, jogging slightly to catch up to you, Aerum trailing behind him. "Are you guys doing anything tonight?"

You almost roll your fucking eyes, but Jimin responds with a neutral expression, "Yeah, Kook… the DSP gather? We planned it last week?"

"Fuck," Jungkook coughs out, "Yeah, no, I remember."

You continue walking back towards the main campus where Jimin's car is parked, with Jungkook and Aerum not far behind. When you reach Jimin's Audi, you detach from his arm and head for the passenger seat, Jungkook meeting you at the door.

"Did you still want me to pick you up?" he asks softly, watching you adjust your bag strap over your shoulder in boredom while you wait for Jimin to unlock the car.

“No, that’s okay, Guk. I'll come over with Minji. She's on a drinking cleanse after the Feb blackout, so she can drive," you smile, leaning up to give him a quick goodbye hug.

He leans into it, but you don't let him linger, pulling away as soon as you hear the sound of the car unlocking. You go to open the door and climb in, but he gently puts his hand against it to stop you.

"Are you okay? Can you talk to me, please?" he lowers his voice so no one can hear.

Jimin takes the hint and awkwardly gets into the car, telling Aerum to hop in the back and he'll drop her home. She looks at Jungkook for a long moment before reluctantly getting in.

Jungkook's big, worried, boba eyes make you want to both scoff and run your hand over his face until they ease up.

"What do you mean, Gukkie? Just don't want you to go out of your way. You live there, so there's no point in you driving to get me."

Huh? He's picked you up for every single frat party they hold. He doesn't mind. He insists on driving you. He loves driving you! What the fuck?

Jungkook lets his hand fall from the door in resignation, and his heart clenches at the speed in which you pull the handle to open it, like you couldn't wait to get away from him. He somberly takes a step back from the car to let you get in.

You sigh when you glance back at his scrunched eyebrows and pouty lips. You place your bag on the seat and shut the door with a groan before walking back to your sulky best friend.

His response is immediate. His arms link around your waist when you lean into him, his head nestling into your neck where it belongs. Your nails lightly scratch against his polo, and he squeezes you a little tighter.

"I want to pick you up," he says softly. You run your hands down his arms, grabbing them where they link behind your waist. You give them a squeeze as you gently untangle yourself from him.

"I'm riding with Minji. I'll see you tonight, Gukkie." He watches you walk back to Jimin's car and finally get in.

Aerum's eyes are on Jungkook as Jimin pulls out of the campus parking lot. Jungkook's are on you.

˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗

You weren't always as unbothered as you are today at the age of 21.

Maybe it was maturing, maybe it was the pilates sessions you take twice a week, or maybe it was because a particular situation made you vow to yourself you'd never go through that pain again. Well, whatever it was that made you so emotionally detached, you're grateful for it. You're young, gorgeous, and you have a fruitful and prosperous life on the horizon.

Fun is good. Feelings are not.

You shake your head to get yourself out of your thoughts—the thoughts you don't know why are suddenly floating around in your messy little brain—and yell out to your roommate for a favor.

Park Minji and you share a two-bedroom penthouse on the top floor of Kim Marriott, the Seodaemun-gu branch of your parents' luxury 5-star hotel chain.

Taehyung was supposed to move in with you during your first year, but when he was appointed Frat President, he chose to stay on-site at Delta Sigma Phi. What a humble boy… you couldn't think of anything worse.

He dragged Jungkook along with him, and you dragged Minji along with you, so everything worked out great. Minji is a lot tidier than your brother, anyway.

You're rummaging through your closet for the shoes you swore you had stored there after your last shopping trip when Minji waltzes into your room, holding the box you've been hunting for.

"These ones, right? They were on the kitchen counter, among all your other unopened packages..." She rolls her eyes teasingly.

"Oh yes! Fuck, I love you," you cry, walking up to the blonde and pulling the heels from the box she holds open for you.

"They're so pretty," she compliments before closing the box and tossing it in the living room to throw away later. She looks back at you as you head to your full-length mirror, slipping on the shoes.

"Jesus, Y/N." Minji groans, and you hum in question, eyeing her through the mirror.

"You look so good, what the fuck..." she whines, walking closer to you and standing side by side in the mirror to check on her outfit as well.

The white bodycon mini-dress hugs your body nicely, its low neckline no match for your bigger-than-average tits as the fabric clings to them for dear life. The white-gold Cartier necklace Jungkook gifted you rests prettily on your chest, just like it always has ever since the night he clasped it around your neck.

2 years prior—circa. your 19th birthday

"Get fucked, Jeongguk." The words rip from your throat, venomous and sharp as they slap your best friend's face into a furrowed, exasperated expression.

You yank the jacket tighter around your shoulders as the cold night air whips at your skin, storming down the sidewalk. The urge to rip the jacket—his jacket—off your body is strong, but it's so fucking cold. You may be petty and possibly overreacting a little right now... but you're not stupid.

Jungkook's heavy footsteps trail after you, his calls of your name only pushing you to walk faster. He catches up in no time, your hurried steps no match for his long strides. He tries to gently grab your arm, but you shrug off his touch angrily, spinning around to glare at him. You're about to tell him to fuck off again when he speaks first.

"Come back inside. It's like a fucking blizzard out here; you're going to freeze to death," he says evenly, though frustration laces his words.

"Oh, please," you laugh humorlessly, shaking your head in disbelief. "As if you give a shit if I freeze."

"Don't fucking say—"

"I'm going home. You can tell everyone I'm sick and had to leave. Or don't, I don't fucking care." You turn away and start walking again, his footsteps immediately following.

"You're walking home?" You ignore his question, causing him to huff and run a hand through his hair. "Let me drive you home, please."

You ignore him again, knowing that if there's something Jungkook can't stand more than you yelling at him, it's you not speaking to him.

"Stop doing this. It's your birthday; don't let it end like this—"

"Yes, Jeongguk, it's my birthday," you seethe, whipping back around. "And you brought a random chick none of us even know to my birthday dinner. And you didn't even bother to get me a gift. On. My fucking. Birthday."

"Y/N—"

"Limited edition PlayStation, imported Swedish lacrosse stick, custom painted iPad from your favorite local fucking artist," you list the gifts you've gotten him for his birthday over the years angrily. Jungkook shakes his head, trying to step closer to you, but you hold up your hand to keep the distance.

"Do you even know how much effort I put into the things I get and do for you? And for you to sit there with that... that stupid fucking look on your—God, Jeongguk!" Your voice is on the cusp of being a whine, but you don't care. "Oh, but I'm sure you spent a decent chunk of Daddy's money on Winnie tonight, huh?" You don't care that the Daddy's money statement is also very applicable to you… you're pissed.

Jungkook's jaw clenches at your words, and he steps forward, slipping his hand into the pocket of the jacket you're wearing. Before you can snap at him again, he pulls out a small velvet box and holds it out to you.

"What is that?" you demand, your voice still trembling with annoyance.

"Your gift," he says softly, opening the box to reveal a white-gold Cartier diamond necklace. "I was planning to give it to you when we were in private."

You stare at the necklace, your anger momentarily overshadowed by surprise. The diamonds of the pendant sparkle under the streetlights, and you almost let out a moan. Diamonds are your weakness.

"You motherfucker," you groan under your breath, glaring at the necklace in hopes it will dissipate into thin air so you can continue being annoyed at him.

Jungkook steps closer, his voice a whisper. "Everyone was coming with their partners, Y/N. I couldn't come alone."

You sigh, knowing that. Your comment was a cheap shot, considering Jungkook doesn't hang with a girl more than once, so it would be impossible for him to bring someone you already knew. But Winnie was getting on your last nerve, and you saw an opportunity to sneak in a jab, so you took it.

Not only was his date clearing glass after glass of the expensive wine your friends had ordered as if it were water, but she was also not shy about ordering the priciest dishes on the menu. Judging by her tiny red Zara mini-dress, you highly doubt she'll be reaching for her purse at the end of the night.

Your gaze is still locked on the necklace as you take a moment to think. Jungkook hasn't moved either, continuing to hold the box open for you while he scans your face, trying to gauge your reaction.

"It's, um, engraved and shit," he mumbles, his hand not holding the box lifting to run over his jaw nervously. "And I got a chain one… for me too."

Your eyes snap to his, and he swears his heart stops beating. God, you think it's stupid. You hate it. That's okay. He'll just wait until you turn around so he can sprint to the nearest homeless guy and give him the stupid neckl—

"Like matching?" Your eyes soften, and he slowly feels the blood flooding into his heart.

"Yeah, only if you like, want to," he shrugs cutely, and you can't stop the grin from spreading across your lips.

You're close enough to slide your arms around his torso but still not near enough for Jungkook as he tugs you closer, melting into the hug. "Thank you, Gukkie. I love it," you murmur into his chest, and he feels his muscles relax at you finally using his nickname again.

You lift your head from his black fitted Givenchy dress shirt, which smells a little too good, to look up at him. "But why did you say you didn't have anything when everyone gave me their gifts?"

He looks down at the slight pout on your lips, his fingers twitching with the urge to wipe it off your mouth. Instead, he flicks the box closed with a thumb and holds it out to you. "Don't think Jaehyun would've been too thrilled with me giving you this," he chuckles. "The dude hates me."

You frown up at him, about to chime in and say that isn't true, but his lips tug into a smirk as if to say he couldn't care less about what your boyfriend thought of him. And honestly, if he were Jaehyun, he'd hate him too.

Jungkook had the necklaces made a little over two months ago, and you and Jaehyun have only been official for one. So, Jungkook's intentions behind the gift weren't malicious, he swears…

If you just so happen to wear the necklace and your boyfriend notices his matching one, which then causes a rift in your relationship, resulting in the two of you breaking up… well, that would just be a nice little coincidence.

"Jae knows you and I are close," you explain with a crease in your brow that he wants to massage until it goes away. "I made it very clear to him when he wanted to get serious, and he understood."

Jungkook nods along to your words even if he doesn't fully believe them. Either Jaehyun is a really good and secure guy, or he's full of grade-A horse shit. If you were his and another dude tried to come along and buy you an eleven-thousand-dollar necklace? Fuck, he'd knock the guy out cold.

You untangle yourself from your best friend and lift the lid of the velvet box still in his grasp. You coo at the pretty diamonds before turning to face away from Jungkook.

You gather your hair before swiping it over your shoulder and letting his jacket fall slightly to bare your neck. Jungkook reacts immediately, picking up the necklace before shoving the box in his pocket. His cold fingers brush against you as he carefully fastens the jewelry around your neck.

When he pulls away, you let your hair fall back into place and turn around to face him again. Your smile is soft, eyes twinkling as you look down at the necklace. "It's so pretty, Gukkie. I love it."

You're so pretty. I love you, he thinks.

With a sigh, you glance at yourself in the mirror, taking in one of the most casual party outfits you've worn in a while—well, to your standards, at least. For some reason, you just don't feel entirely up for it tonight. Something feels off in your stomach. Or your head. You're not sure. You're probably just getting sick or something.

After slipping into the heels, you stand up straight and smush a kiss on the girl's cheek, smiling at the mark your lip gloss leaves on her face. "Ya, I just did my makeup," she gasps, leaning closer to your mirror to dab off the glossy residue.

You pat her bum gently. "You look gorgeous, Min. Gonna have Joon in tears tonight."

"If he even looks at me," she rolls her eyes, adjusting the strap of her Miu Miu dress in the mirror.

"You haven't talked to him yet?" You ask as you apply your perfume, and she turns to look at you with guilty eyes.

"No," she sighs, "I will tonight."

"Good," you smile, resting the perfume bottle back on your dresser before grabbing your phone and holding your hand out to her.

She interlocks her fingers with yours as you both leave the suite, the sinking feeling in your stomach never fading.

˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗

Welp, there goes your ride home.

You watch in amusement as your roommate throws back her fourth jello shot of the night, washing it down with a gulp of beer.

You don't blame Minji for breaking her sobriety, especially after the first thing you both saw upon walking through the doors of Delta Sigma Phi was Namjoon leaning against the foyer wall with another girl in his arms. While they weren't official official, Minji loves really hard. And you think Namjoon knew that.

Needless to say, Minji instantly grabbed your hand and pulled you toward the kitchen, where mountains of various alcohol bottles covered the counter.

Minji's not an alcoholic by any means, but she, just like her twin brother, are quick to take it down and even quicker to bring it back up.

A few months ago, during the Autumn fraternity vs. sorority fundraiser, she got so drunk that she blacked out going down the soapy slip-and-slide.

You and Jungkook—well, mostly Jungkook—carried her all the way to his car. Since he was a sober monitor for Delta Sigma Phi, he drove you both home. He ended up staying at your place for the rest of the night while you slowly sipped on strawberry soju and watched Netflix, checking on Minji every so often.

She hasn't had a drink since that night, so her tolerance is probably super low. But that doesn't stop her from handing you a raspberry jello shot before grabbing another from the table and sucking it down like someone might take it from her.

You giggle, gently wiping away the pink droplet of liquid trailing down the corner of her lip with your thumb. She offers you a dazed smile, her eyes hooded, the effects of the alcohol clearly weaving through her system.

"You okay, Min?"

She beams back at you, a little spark lighting up her glossy eyes, "Mhm. Just wanna have fun tonight."

"Okay," you respond softly, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen across her face.

Her head suddenly snaps to the living room. "Oooh, they're playing spin the bottle! Let's go playyy!" Minji gasps, tapping your arm excitedly.

You glance at the game that caught her attention and scan the players. There are a few of your friends, mixed with other people from school whose names you couldn't remember if someone held a gun to your head.

You pat Minji's hand, which was still tapping your arm, telling her to go play and stay close to Yoongi and Hobi. She nods, rushing over to the game with a big smile and plopping down between your friends.

You look down at the jello shot you're still yet to ingest and put it back on the table. Grabbing a solo cup, you pour some cranberry juice into it, glancing at the types of vodkas on display. Your nose scrunches at the cheap brands, your manicured nail tapping the side of the cup in thought before you remember something.

Cup in hand, you make your way to the cupboard below the kitchen sink and pull it open, smiling in triumph as you spot the object of your desire at the back of the cabinet. Bending down, you reach for the bottle quickly before anyone notices you.

"That's off limits."

The familiar smell of his cologne floods your senses before you process his words. You straighten up with a small smile, resting your cup on the counter and turning to face the boy with the pricey bottle of vodka in your hands.

"Even to me?" Your lips pull into a knowing pout, and Jungkook has to force his gaze away from them. Instead, his eyes trail over your outfit, which, in hindsight, was an even dumber idea.

His breath hitches in his fucking throat at the sight of your dress, doing nothing to support your boobs that threaten to spill from the pretty little white fabric. The knot in the noose, though, is the necklace he gifted you on your nineteenth birthday, resting innocently between the valley of your anything-but-innocent tits.

He shakes his head, the corner of his lips tugging upwards slightly as he steps closer to you. You fiddle with the bottle cap while he closes the distance, giving you a moment to drink in how effortlessly his arms fill out his white box-tee.

"No," he says softly, almost laughing at the thought of ever denying you something. "Not you." He takes his bottle of Belvedere from your grasp and unscrews the cap.

You rest against the kitchen sink as your best friend, now less than an inch from your body, reaches around you to grab your cup from the counter. He doesn't say anything as he pours the vodka into the cup, using his familiarity with your favorite drink to know when to stop. Your finger lightly traces over the tattoos spilling from his right sleeve absentmindedly, and he should tell you to stop, or he might drop the cup. But he doesn't.

Once he deems there's enough alcohol in the mix, he lifts the cup to his lips to take a sip. You wait patiently, letting him do his little lip purse before splashing a bit more vodka into the cup and holding it out to you. You take it with a grateful smile, bringing the drink to your lips to taste it as he leans over to get a solo cup of his own. You almost groan when the vodka cranberry hits your tongue. Obviously, it's perfect. He’s annoying like that.

Once Jungkook finishes mixing his drink, he takes a mouthful before returning to you. He catches the way your gaze is fixed on the ground, distraction clouding your eyes, cup resting against your lips as you get lost in your head.

You snap out of it almost instantly when he gets closer to you, putting the cup down next to you so you can slink your arms around his neck when he leans down. But before he allows the feeling of you against his body to make him forget every thought inside his brain, he speaks.

"What's wrong?" he murmurs into the skin of your neck, blindly putting his cup on the counter behind you so he can slip his hands around your waist.

You're quiet for a moment, and if it wasn't for the slight stutter in your fingers playing with the clasp of his Cartier chain, he would think you didn't hear him. He doesn't repeat his question, though, knowing you will answer him in your own time. And even if you don't, that's okay too. But he just won't leave your side the entire night if you're feeling vulnerable.

Yeah, nice excuse for not wanting to leave her alone; his subconscious laughs viciously at him. Jungkook ignores it by burying his face into your neck further.

Your fingers slide into the hair at the nape of his neck while you take a deep breath, the calming scent of him grounding you. "I don't know," you finally admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

He tightens his hold on you, his fingers tracing soothing circles on your back. "Are you getting sick?"

"Yeah, probably. I've just had this weird feel—"

"Kookie, there you are! I thought you got lost getting my drink—oh, hi, Y/N!"

Jungkook stiffens before he lifts himself from you slightly at the sound of Aerum's voice.

You untangle your hand from his hair, poking your head around the side of his large frame to look at the girl strutting into the kitchen. She's pretty, you think as you give her outfit a once-over. If only she wasn't such an insufferable phony, maybe you'd be a little warmer towards her. Maybe.

"Hey, Aerum," you greet uninterestedly, leaning away from Jungkook and ignoring the way he tries to keep you near him.

Lost in his own house? You internally roll your eyes. Why even bother saying something so stupid—

"Is it this one?" she smiles once she reaches you both, grabbing your cup from the counter and taking a sip. "Oh wow, Kookie, it's so good! Is it vodka? Shit, what brand is this?" Aerum squeaks as she takes another sip of your drink.

Jungkook's lips part as he's about to say something about the drink, but you reply with a bored expression, "Belvedere."

Aerum lets out a confused hum as you name the $300 bottle of alcohol. "Huh. I've never heard of it."

You nod, grabbing a bottle of cheap beer as you brush past her to leave the kitchen. "Exactly."

Jungkook and Aerum's hushed conversation fades into the background as you move further away. You reach the living room, where Minji is giggling between Hobi and Yoongi. She grins widely when she sees you enter the room. "Jagi! Come and play!"

You laugh at your roommate, who now has two more empty Jello shot cups and a bottle of cider beside her, which explains the affectionate nickname.

Once you reach the circle, Yoongi and Hobi lean up to give you a hug in greeting before you smush a kiss on Minji's forehead. "Maybe later, jagi. Have you seen our brothers?”

“Mhm! They went outside for a smoke!” She replies distractedly as she’s staring intently at the bottle spinning in the middle of the circle.

You run a hand gently over her hair before turning to Yoongi. Since he’s sober D for his boyfriend tonight, you ask if he can keep an eye on her while they finish their game and if she needs to go home or gets too much to handle, to come and tell you.

Yoongi nods at you with a smile, and you return it before spotting a familiar head of black hair peeking over the back of the couch on the other side of the room.

Approaching the couch quietly, you softly put your beer on the ground before leaning over and covering his eyes with your hands. Mingyu flinches at the unexpected contact, his phone falling from his hands to his lap, but then relaxes as if something clicks.

His warm hands come up to yours, removing them from his eyes before he turns to you with a stunned smile. He takes you in for a second before shaking his head and leaning up on the couch.

You're about to give him a hug but he suddenly wraps his arms around your body, easily pulling you over the couch and laying you down beneath him. You squeal loudly in surprise before it's replaced by soft giggles as Mingyu attacks your neck with kisses, peppering them over every inch of skin he can find.

You draw a breath when there's a slight break in his assault and gesture to your heels digging uncomfortably into the couch. He leans back immediately and pulls them off your feet, placing them on the coffee table with haste that makes you laugh.

Turning back, he lowers his frame to you, your legs subconsciously separating to let him press closer, and he resumes his work on your neck. His kisses move lower, and you let out a sigh at the feeling before he reaches the exposed skin of side-boob peeking from your dress. You let out a quick gasp, grabbing his face with your hands and pulling him up to your face.

He grins at you cheekily, knowing he wouldn't get far but can't find it in himself to regret the action. "Was wondering when you'd get here," he says softly, his voice filled with affection. Your pouty fucking lips covered in that pretty fucking lip gloss distracts him for a moment, and he breathes a dazed sigh, leaning down to rest his face on your chest.

You blame it on the alcohol when the sick feeling in your stomach suddenly returns at the touch of Mingyu's skin on yours.

You blame it on the alcohol when all you can think about as you run your fingers through Mingyu's hair is how it's not as soft as Jungkook's.

You blame it on the alcohol when you let Mingyu snuggle closer into your neck in hopes that you'll feel the same warm sensation as when Jungkook does it.

The nausea, the thoughts of your best friend while you have a gorgeous man on top of you, the pounding in your head as his lips get closer and closer to your necklace. You blame all of it on the alcohol.

The one single sip of fucking alcohol you've consumed tonight.

"Can you pass me my beer, please?" You choke out as his lips are a millimeter away from reaching the skin where your necklace sits.

Mingyu pulls back with a smile, and you almost want to frown at the sweet boy. He deserves so much better. "It's just on the ground over there," you point to the back of the couch, and he nods, leaning over and grabbing your drink.

You release a heavy breath while you play with the hem of his dress shirt when something catches your attention from the corner of your eye. Your fingers tighten slightly around the fabric.

There, leaning with his back against the living room wall, is your best friend with Aerum's lips attached to his neck like a blowfish. Jungkook's brows are furrowed, most likely in pleasure, and his eyes are squeezed shut.

Another wave of the sick feeling washes over you, and you almost let out a frustrated grunt. What the actual fuck is going on with you?

Mingyu leans back on the couch, now with your beer in his hand. Before he can open the cap for you, you snatch it from his hand and toss it to the carpet carelessly. He looks at you curiously, about to ask you what's wrong, but you sit up and swing your leg over his thigh, effectively lodging the words in his throat.

His brows shoot up in surprise before he catches on, his hands finding your waist when you don't waste time pressing your lips to his. Mingyu groans into your mouth when you suckle on his tongue lightly, starting to move against him. Your dress begins to ride up with your movements and deepen the kiss while simultaneously grinding harder into his lap. You can feel him getting harder through the fabric of his jeans, and you zone in on it.

Squeezing your eyes closed tighter to focus, you drag yourself over his covered cock, letting the zipper of his pants graze against your panties. Mingyu detaches from your lips at the sensation, his head throwing back onto the couch as his breathing picks up.

Your hands rest against his chest as you swivel your hips quicker, trying everything you can to spark something in you. Mingyu chokes out a strained fuck when you find the outline of his shaft and let the lips of your covered pussy drag along it.

Nothing. You feel nothing. What the fucking fuck.

Mingyu, on the other hand, is losing himself. His head is still thrown back in pleasure, and you take the opportunity to lean forward and latch your lips to his neck. Your teeth nibble at the skin below his jaw, and he shivers at the action, his hands losing grip on your waist and falling to the swell of your ass. Your movements still haven't relented, grinding against him like you're the only two in the room, and Mingyu doesn't want to admit just how fucking close he is.

He's about to suggest that you guys take it to his room when he feels one of your hands trail down from his chest. His head lifts up to see what you're going to do next, and god, he wishes he didn't, because when you cover the hand of his that's loosely resting on your left asscheek and squeeze? He almost cums in his fucking pants like a teenage boy that just discovered the wonders of third base.

Mingyu does as you wish, grabbing a greedy handful of the flesh with his left hand and uses his right to slide up the back of your neck, returning your mouth to his. You fall into the kiss willingly, letting him lick into your mouth. Letting him take whatever he wants. Mingyu has always been a good kisser. Not even a week ago, he had you dripping from a 10-minute make-out session on his bed. But right now, something inside you tells you that even if you went at it for an hour, it still wouldn't be enough.

You push the sadistic thoughts from your brain and tangle your hands in his hair, nodding against his lips when his hand on your neck drops to your other asscheek and squeezes tightly.

Yes, you think. Touch me. Anywhere. Everywhere. Something is bound to—

"What the fuck?"

Your lips immediately detach from Mingyu's at the sound of the familiar voice booming behind you. You adjust the front of your clothes, which have twisted out of place, and quickly climb off Mingyu's lap. Pulling down the hem of the dress that also rode up a few minutes ago, you blink guiltily at the man staring at you with a disturbed look.

"On my couch? That's disgusting. Take it upstairs or take it to your place, Y/N." Taehyung grits, shaking his head as if it would somehow rid the image of you mounting his frat-mate from his memory.

"Sorry, Tae," you reply to your brother with a purse of your lips before getting over it and looking around for your phone that fell from the pocket of your cover-up.

Mingyu is speechless, gawking at his frat president in horror, not knowing what to say or do. He watches as you finally find the phone wedged between the couch cushions before you lean back onto his chest and scroll through your notifications, un-fucking-concerned.

Mingyu chokes on air, gently lifting you off him and sitting you back up on the seat properly. You give him a confused look, and he returns your gaze with a panicked expression, glancing between you and your brother, who is still standing there glaring at him.

You roll your eyes, lifting Mingyu's arm and throwing it over your shoulder, returning to your previous position. "Don't take him seriously, Gyu. I can't even recall how many times I've accidentally walked in on him and my own friends from high school. And they were doing a lot more than dry humping."

The fact that you aren't bothered helps Mingyu to calm down a bit, but he's still on edge with your brother staring him down.

You glance up at Mingyu when his chest remains stiff beneath your head, and you sigh before turning to your brother. "Tae, you're scaring him. We won't do anything else on your couch, okay? Now shoo, please." You wave him off with your hand.

Your brother just rolls his eyes, looking a little too much like you for your liking, before he nods and says he'll return to patrol the room in 30 minutes.

You watch Taehyung disappear behind the door frame as he heads into another room, and you turn to Mingyu with a teasing grin. "30 minutes? We could be done twice in that time…"

His eyes widen, and he gives another pathetic attempt at suggesting you go upstairs, but when you press your lips to his, the words fizzle out on his tongue as you entwine it with your own.

Jungkook is fucking fuming.

He's absolutely clocked out of the make-out session with Aerum, and she can probably tell that his mind is elsewhere, but he can't bring himself to care, and she makes no move to pull away either.

He feels her getting angsty, desperately wanting to escalate the situation from the way she's pressing harder against him, but Jungkook keeps the pace steady.

He needs to stay in the living room to keep an eye on you because you're obviously not in the right state of mind right now. You're not drunk; he knows what you look like when you've been drinking, and you're basically stone-cold fucking sober. But yet, there you are, one layer away from riding his housemate's cock on his very own fucking couch.

Jungkook would have intervened a long time ago, had he not seen with his own eyes that you were the one initiating every part of the act.

With every swivel of your hips, Jungkook’s heart pounded furiously against his chest. It clenched with every firm squeeze Mingyu placed on your ass, and it shattered completely as you nuzzled into Mingyu’s neck, kissing and nipping at it, just like you did to him in his dreams most nights.

He can’t tear his gaze away. He’s tried—oh, how he’s fucking tried.

He attempted to focus on the pretty girl currently whimpering into his mouth, begging him to touch her, to take her right there in the middle of the room if he so desired. But he couldn’t. His eyes were uncontrollably drawn back to you, to the way Mingyu’s hips lifted to meet yours, each movement a sharp twist to the knife lodged in his pathetic heart.

"Shit," Mingyu groans when the curve of his cock straining against his jeans meets your covered core. "We needa go upstairs, or I'm gonna take you right here on the couch, Y/N."

Your laugh comes out breathy from the frantic movements of your hips as you ignore him, and you lean up so his face can nuzzle between your tits. Your boobs are very sensitive, and that usually does the trick to turn you on.

Why. Isn't. It. Turning. You. On.

You let out a frustrated groan that Mingyu mistakes as a moan of pleasure as he leaves wet kisses against the exposed skin of your tits before he reaches the necklace that's wedged between them. "Fuck, I love this. It's so pretty but looks so dirty on you."

Your skin suddenly fires up at his words, and you feel your hips stutter slightly. "Yeah?" you question in a rush, grinding harder against him to chase the feeling.

"Mhm," he nods, brushing his nose over the pendant.

"Bite it."

He looks up at you, his gaze locking with yours filled with a hunger that hadn't been present all night.

"Bite it?" he repeats, his voice a mix of confusion and intrigue, hips meeting yours halfway as your movements become sloppier, more desperate.

Your head tilts as you nod desperately, "Please bite it."

Mingyu's eyes flicker down to your chest, and he leans in, his lips grazing the skin near your necklace. Your breath catches as he nears the pendant with its two little conjoined rings. You catch your bottom lip between your teeth, suppressing the whine that threatens to escape.

He plants a lingering kiss on the surrounding flesh before finally catching the pendant between his teeth. You can't hold back the loud moan that escapes your lips—

It happens in the blink of an eye.

You tumble onto the couch cushions as Mingyu is abruptly yanked away and thrown to the living room floor.

You watch in shock as Jungkook pounces on him instantly, Mingyu barely having a moment to react before Jungkook's fist comes crashing down. It connects with Mingyu's jaw with a sickening crunch that reverberates through the room, drawing the attention of a few partygoers.

Mingyu attempts a recovery, throwing a jab that snaps Jungkook's head to the side, but Jungkook quickly regains his focus. He reels his fist back and hammers another brutal punch into Mingyu's face, then another, then another, then another.

Jungkook doesn't know how many punches he's thrown, or how long he's been on top of his housemate, or whose arms grab him from behind to pull him off Mingyu.

His breathing comes in ragged gasps, his knuckles sting with a throbbing pain, and a fierce rage burns through his veins, consuming him entirely. Adrenaline surges through him as he watches Yoongi and Hobi lift a bloodied, struggling Mingyu off the ground.

"What the fuck, Kook?" Taehyung's voice snaps him out of his daze as he and Jimin drag him to his feet.

You remain frozen on the couch, not shifting an inch. Your gaze is fixed on Mingyu as a cluster of people surround him. One person carefully presses a damp rag against his bloodied face while he leans heavily against the wall, another extends a bottle of water towards his shaking hands.

From the grasp of your brother, Jungkook's eyes follow you as you rise and weave through the crowd around Mingyu.

His heart clenches as he watches the pained expression on your face, the saddest he's ever seen. He watches as you whisper something to Mingyu, who shakes his head weakly and reaches out to pull you closer. Instead, you gently grasp his hand, stroking his knuckles with your thumb as tears start to pool in your eyes.

He sees the moment you utter one final word to Mingyu before you let his hand drop softly to his side and walk away

You return to the coffee table, grabbing your shoes and phone before immediately heading for the exit. You spot Minji, who has tears flowing down her cheeks, and she breaks from Yoongi's hold before pulling you into the tightest hug she can muster.

"Oh my god, Y/N, are you okay? What the fuck was that?!" she cries into your shoulder. You almost smile, knowing her emotions always spill over when she's been drinking, but you couldn't muster one even if you tried. Gently pulling away, you dab at the tears under her eyes before turning your attention to Yoongi.

"Can you take her home, please? I'm going to catch an Uber and I feel like being alone for a bit," you half-lie. You're going to walk home, but he doesn't need to know that. He wouldn't let you walk alone at this time.

"Y/N," Yoongi sighs. He didn't miss the way you dodged her question. He wants to urge you to let him drive you home as well, but the resolve in your eyes tells him you won't budge. "Yeah, I'll make sure she gets home safe."

"Thank you," your voice cracks slightly at the end as you squeeze his hand and leave the room before he can stop you.

You can hear footsteps trailing behind you as you reach the door, and you abandon the mission of slipping into your heels, quickly slipping out the door and slamming it behind you.

The cold concrete bites at your bare feet as you hurry down the steps of the frat house, but you barely notice. The sound of the door swinging open behind you only quickens your pace.

"Please, Y/N. Wait. Please."

The tears you've held back since the moment he climbed on top of Mingyu suddenly fall without your permission, and you scoff, wiping them away furiously.

You don't say anything as you reach the path out of the university and continue your trek to your penthouse. It's dark, the sparse lights of the school providing little guidance, but you don't care. You just keep walking.

When Jungkook catches up to you and tries to take your hand, something inside you explodes. You snatch your arm away furiously, your heels and phone dropping from your hands as you turn to face him. Before you know what you're doing, you push against his chest, shoving him away from you. He barely moves and that makes you even angrier. “Fuck you, Jeongguk!” You shove him again, "Fuck you," again, "Fuck you," again, "Fuck you."

Your voice trembles on the last words, and you can't stop the sob from wracking your body. He reacts instantly, stepping forward to pull you into his arms as you break down.

His hands cradle the back of your head as you shake against his chest, his heart clenching at the sound of your cries. "I'm so sorr—"

You pull away from him, running your sleeve over your face to wipe at the tears. "What about your future, Jeongguk? What if he presses charges? If this gets back to your parents? Affects your student record?" You shake your head in utter disbelief, your hands running through your hair in an attempt to ground yourself. "Mingyu is such a good guy, how could you even—fuck." Mingyu.

Your heart clenches at the memory of him trying to keep you close even after he had the shit beaten out of him. You brought him into this mess. That was all fucking you.

"You can't do shit like that, Jeongguk! You c-can't," you stammer, batting his hand away as your voice cracks again, "You had no right to do that."

"I know, Y/N!" His voice rises, and you see tears welling in his own eyes. "I fucking know! I know I didn't have any right to do that. And I fucking hate it!"

You're speechless, but Jungkook isn't finished, "I had no right to punch Lee Seo-jun when he gave you your first kiss, so I didn't. I had no right to punch Kang Doyun when you told me he felt you up for the first time, so I didn't. I had no right to punch Jeong Jaehyun every time I watched him have you like I wanted to have you, so I fucking didn't!"

Tears stream down your face unchecked as Jungkook's hands gently cup your face, his thumbs trembling as they try to wipe your tears away. "I had no right to punch Mingyu because he has everything I want. But I did. And I know you don't want to hear it, but I don't fucking regret—"

"I hate you."

Jungkook doesn't know what to do when he hears you say those words. He stumbles back slightly, his throat tightening, and his heart slams against his chest so hard he thinks it's about to crack through his skin.

A trembly shake of his head, "No—"

Your tears stop as abruptly as they came, your gaze hollow and resigned. "We need some space. This is unhealth—"

"No, please," the tips of his ears turn red as he chokes back a sob, "I fucked up, baby, I know. I'm gonna fix it. Let me fix it. I don't want space, I-I can't have space," his words tumble out desperately, completely unaware of the nickname that slips out. But it doesn't matter; nothing does, if you leave him.

You pull your face from his grasp and take a small step backward. The weak light posts give you just enough vision to see his bloodshot eyes and broken expression. Your hand twitches, yearning to brush his hair away from his face and wipe his tears—the tears he's crying for you.

Don’t be fucking stupid, your subconscious snarls.

Those tears aren't for you. They're for the idea of you.

If he doesn't have you, who's he going to cuddle up to at night when he's bored and doesn't have a pussy appointment to get to?

Who will pass on his Instagram handle to their classmates when they rave about his insane dick game and want to try it for themselves?

Who will drag him to mandatory family gatherings, knowing his dad would slash his trust fund for missing yet another one?

Not Kim Bora, his first kiss, a week before your own with Lee Seo-jun.

Not Park Soojin, the first girl he felt up under the shirt, three days before you let Kang Doyun do the same to you.

Not Cho Eunji, the only girl he ever took on a second date, the night that you made things official with Jeong Jaehyun.

You spent countless nights crying over a boy who saw you merely as a friend. The little sister that tagged along to playdates because her brother wasn’t allowed to have fun without her. The spoiled daughter of his father’s closest friend, who he was obligated to protect at school because she never hesitated to voice her blunt opinions, especially to those she thought sucked.

The same girl who saved the most sacred part of herself for her best friend. The girl who, without hesitation, turned down every single guy who promised they'd cherish such a precious gift. The girl who prayed to a God she didn't even believe in, hoping Jungkook would realize that the person who loved and cared for him most was right before his eyes all along.

All for that very boy to carelessly give his innocence to some random chick at a high school party, not even bothering to call her the next day.

That was the moment your perception of love shifted. That was the moment you stopped looking for what his words and touches could mean, and started seeing them for what they were. Friendly. Insincere. Meaningless.

You thought the day Jungkook confessed his feelings would be the happiest of your life. You imagined it would erase all the pain, all the tears, as if they were nothing more than a pathetic nightmare.

But you don't feel happy. You feel angry. Angry that the words you've longed to hear don't make you want to fall into his arms and never leave. Instead, they make you want to run and never come back.

So you do exactly that.

You ignore your phone and shoes lying on the pavement. You ignore your best friend's croaky shout of your name. You ignore that the stony road leading away from the University grounds only grows darker and darker the further you go. You ignore the sharp ache in your feet from the rocks beneath your bare soles. And you run.

You run faster than you ever have in your entire life. You run until your legs burn, unused to anything but your two weekly low-impact fucking pilate sessions. You run until Jungkook's yelling fades into the distance behind you.

You run until you can almost see the lights of the main street. You run until you hear his footsteps gaining on you, the stupid lacrosse captain clearing the distance twice as fast as you ever could. You run until the thumping of your heart drowns out the pain of the sticks and rubble digging into your feet.

You run until the light gets brighter. You run until the light gets closer. You run until you realize they aren't streetlights. You run until you realize it's the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. You run until you can't stop yourself quickly enough. You run until you hear the scream of your best friend behind you. You run until you don't feel the impact of the hit. You run until the world around you fades to black.

Your head hits the pavement hard, bouncing slightly.

Jungkook's arms are around you in an instant, cradling you close as he sobs, "No, no, no, baby, please."

The driver of the car, a college kid who looks just as shaken, gets out to check on you, his face pale and stricken.

"Go to the frat house and get Taehyung. Now." Jungkook barks at the boy, though his eyes never leave your face.

The kid nods frantically, dashing back towards campus, stumbling in his haste. Jungkook pays him no attention, his tears falling onto your face as he holds you tighter.

"Hold on, baby. It's okay. It's okay," he murmurs, his voice barely audible over his sobs. "It's okay. You're gonna be okay."

You lay limp in his embrace, your breathing shallow. His tears mix with the dirt and blood on your face as he presses his forehead against yours, his entire body shaking with sobs. He holds you tighter, rocking back and forth as he brushes the hair away from your face.

Time seemed to stretch endlessly as he sat there in the dark, the cold night air wrapping around you both. What was realistically no more than two minutes felt like two hours. The distant sounds of the campus were muffled, the world shrinking down to just the two of you. Jungkook's tears didn't stop, his heart breaking more and more with each passing second of your silence.

"Ow, fuck." You groan weakly.

Jungkook's grip tightens as he lifts his head. "Y/N," he chokes softly, his hand supporting your head as you try to sit up. "D-Don't try to move too much. We're gonna—we're gonna get you to the hospital, okay?"

You looked at him, your eyes filled with confusion and pain. "Did I really just get hit by a fucking car?"

He shook his head with a teary laugh, his fingers gently caressing your hair. "No," he sniffled. "I managed to tackle you b-before... But you hit your head when we fell. I'm so sorry."

You nodded slowly, your hand resting on his head when he rested it on your chest, and you couldn't help but run your fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry."

His breathing stops, and he looks at you with the most saddened expression you've ever seen. "W-why the fuck would you say that? Don't apologize. None of this is your fault," Jungkook shook his head, his tears falling anew.

"I'm sorry for saying I hate you," you said softly, your hand resting on the side of his neck as he trembled. "If anything’s going to teach me of all people a lesson, it’s a near-death experience...” You let out a pained laugh, “Would hate if that was the last thing I ever said to you.”

He closed his eyes, leaning into your touch. "Y/N, you don't know how much I l—"

The sound of frantic footsteps interrupts him. Taehyung's voice calls out in panic, and within moments, he’s kneeling beside you, his face a mix of fear and relief.

"Oh fuck, Y/N," he said, his voice shaking as he quickly assesses your condition. "C'mon, we need to get you to a hospital," he says through teary eyes.

With Jungkook's help, you managed to get to your feet, leaning heavily on him for support. Taehyung saw you struggling to keep your balance and quickly scooped you into his arms, jogging over to his car he left running. He gently placed you in the backseat, and Jungkook was on the other side in an instant, getting you comfortable while your brother rushed to the driver's seat.

As you drove to the hospital, Jungkook didn’t let go of your hand.

Not as he forced you to drink from the water bottle Taehyung passed back to you. Not as he leaned your head on his chest, gently inspecting your scalp for any severe cuts or bleeding. Not as you grunted at him when he jiggled you slightly every time you closed your eyes for a second too long, worried that you were losing consciousness.

˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗

"You've got a mild concussion," Dr. Choi said with a reassuring smile, her voice calm and professional. "You were fortunate. Your head hit the ground hard, but thankfully, there are no signs of severe trauma or bleeding."

Beside you, Jungkook's grip on your hand tightened. He exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, his gaze fixed anxiously on the doctor. "So, she's going to be okay?"

In the cushioned armchair next to your hospital bed, your brother shifted slightly in his sleep. You reached over to gently brush a stray lock of hair from his forehead, careful not to wake him.

Lately, his roles as frat president, lacrosse captain, and his involvement in the family business had worn him thin. The exhaustion had overwhelmed him, and he had fallen asleep almost as soon as he settled into the chair. This really is the last thing he needs to be doing, and so with a final look of guilt, you let your brother rest and turned back to Dr. Choi.

Dr. Choi responded to Jungkook with a nod. "Yes, she'll be fine," she assured him. "Concussions can cause symptoms like dizziness, headache, nausea, and fatigue. She might feel drowsy and out of sorts for a few days, but with rest and avoiding any strenuous activities, she should recover fully within a week."

You blinked, your head still throbbing but feeling a bit more relieved. "So, I can go home?"

"Yes," the doctor confirmed, writing some notes on your chart. "I'm going to release you shortly. Make sure you rest, avoid any physical exertion, and stay hydrated. If you experience any worsening symptoms—like severe headache, vomiting, or confusion—come back immediately, okay?"

Jungkook gave the doctor a firm nod. "We will."

Dr. Choi smiled at him, a soft expression on her face. "Good. And make sure she avoids screens for a bit—no phones, no computers, no TV. Just rest."

You groan while Jungkook just signals his understanding.

As the doctor turned to leave the room and finalize your discharge papers, she glanced back with a knowing smile. "And maybe a break from the drama for a little while too?"

Jungkook's head hung low as he continued to gently caress the back of your hand with his thumb.

"No more boys and no more running into traffic, got it. Thanks, doc." You nodded at the middle-aged woman, who gave you one last amused look before leaving the room.

That was six days ago.

The throbbing ache and, more importantly, the big ugly bump that was once on your forehead have now almost completely faded. If it hadn't, and you were stuck with a permanent scar on your face, you would've hunted down the kid who nearly hit you with his car and told him to finish the job.

Speaking of that kid, he tried to reach out to you quite a few times since you've been absent from classes. He couldn't get in direct contact with you since Jungkook had confiscated all of your devices, but he was persistent. He bugged almost every person he knew to be a close friend of yours until finally, on the second to last day of your 'quarantine', being the chronic people-pleaser that he is, Jimin cracked and brought him to your penthouse.

You were lounging on the sofa, your head resting in Jungkook’s lap as he read aloud to you, when Jimin ushered him in. You felt Jungkook stiffen instantly, and it took your sitting up and pressing down on his thigh to keep him from lunging at the poor boy.

His name is Lee Yongbok, an exchange student from Australia. He's a freshman, 19 years old, and his Korean dialect is fucking adorable.

Yongbok’s eyes were brimming with tears when he saw you, apologies tumbling from his lips for what felt like an eternity before you gently cut him off.

You first asked him if he was crying at your appearance and he just shook his head with a wobbly lip and said he’s just really happy to see you. Thank god. You were worried there was another bump somewhere that Jungkook hadn’t told you about.

You told him it was okay, that it wasn't his fault. That you were the crazy lady who ran in front of his car. That he did nothing wrong.

He dropped to his knees at your kindness, something nobody had ever done before. In fact, "kind" was probably the last word anyone would ever use to describe you.

He offered to pay for any medical bills, any necessities, anything you might need or couldn't afford. You giggled at the thought.

You thanked him for coming to see you. You told him not to lose any sleep over it, that you're okay and he's okay. You gave him your number and told him that when your grouchy caregiver returns your phone, you'd send him a text.

When he was about to depart, he asked if he could give you a hug. You nodded, telling him to come closer because Jungkook's hand was not letting go of your waist.

Yongbok happily pulled you and Jungkook into a joint hug since he refused to move. Jungkook reluctantly participated, giving the kid a pat on the back while he snuggled you both and you couldn't stop the loud laugh that escaped your lips.

Yongbok thanked you one last time before he left with Jimin and Minji, telling you to please let him know if you think of anything you may need. What a sweet boy.

Aside from making amends with Yongbok, and your close friends visiting your penthouse throughout the week to bring your schoolwork and random gifts, you haven’t had much interaction with the outside world.

You haven’t seen Mingyu since that night.

In person, at least. You've been texting frequently and even FaceTimed a few times. His eye was healing well, for which you’re very grateful.

The night Jungkook brought you home after the hospital, you found several missed calls from Mingyu on your phone that Yoongi delivered when he saw it on the ground outside whilst taking Minji home.

Your device ban hadn’t started yet, so you called him back immediately and spent over two hours talking and crying. You apologized for everything you had dragged him into, and he insisted you had nothing to be sorry for.

Mingyu truly is the kindest and most gentle soul, and you’ll always regret hurting him the way you did.

During that conversation, he told you he loved you.

Even though it took a messed-up situation to realize it, you knew you had love for Mingyu too. He had always been there for you whenever you needed someone, whether the nights you spent together were fueled by lust and sexual frustration or not, they were meaningful and amazing. He made it so easy to love him, even if your feelings couldn’t match the depth of his.

Mingyu had undoubtedly gotten the short end of the stick in your relationship, always giving more than he received. In your newfound friendship, you are determined to make it up to him. And you will.

Jungkook, too, had been deeply affected by the night’s events. After you finished up with Mingyu, Jungkook took your phone when you handed it to him and disappeared for an hour.

As far as you know, Jungkook apologized and they talked it out. Neither of them like going into much detail with you about it, which is a little frustrating, but you respect their privacy and don’t push further.

Jungkook did come back into your room with red puffy eyes though, and you softly teased him about crying before you snuggled up together and watched a movie.

Jungkook had taken a week off classes to look after you. You rolled your eyes when he first told you, not taking him seriously. But when you woke up the next day, cuddled against his chest while he scrolled through his TikTok feed, you started to believe him.

And when you tried to lean up and see what he was watching, only for him to immediately turn the device away, adhering to the doctor's orders of no screens, you realized just how serious he was.

Over the past six days, you've fallen into a stupid little domestic routine. Now, as you're almost fully recovered and preparing to return to classes tomorrow, a grey cloud looms over you both. The topic you haven't dared to address since that night is getting closer, heavier. You can both feel it.

That's why, as Jungkook slowly packs his clothes into his overnight bag in preparation for tomorrow and you sit on the edge of your bed, staring at your nails, the room is enveloped in a heavy silence.

You knew it was a bad idea to let him stay. To ignore everything that should've been sorted the first morning after the incident. But instead you chose to live in blissful ignorance for six days while you play fucking house.

But come on. Having Jungkook dote on you and care for you for an entire week? Please, that's every female student at Yonsei's wet dream. Quite a few guys, too.

You look up from your nails as he zips up his bag, kicking it to the corner of the room before resting the clothes he'll wear tomorrow on your dresser. He looks over at you, walking to the edge of the bed. For the first time in all the years you’ve consciously known him, he hesitates to touch you.

You blink at him, not moving, not saying anything.

Finally, Jungkook breaks the silence, his voice quiet and raspy, "Should we talk?"

You swallowed, nodding slightly. "Okay."

He sits down beside you, close but not touching. "I meant it, you know. Everything I said."

You hesitate, your gaze fixed down on your painted toes. "And what did you say?"

You can feel his eyes on you, but you don't look up. He brushes some hair—that's growing out nicely as you put it—behind his ear before taking a deep breath. He can't fuck this up.

"I've been in love with you since I learned what love was."

The room goes silent. Neither of you dare to even breathe.

"Wha-huh?"

"I've been in love with you ever since I learned what love was," You repeat.

You finally look at him, and he can't decipher the expression on your face. His eyes flicker between yours, searching for any sign that this is a prank, that Minji is about to burst in with a camera and tell him he's on live television.

"Maybe even before that," you continue, "but I just didn't know what it meant."

Jungkook’s heart races, each beat erratic and intense. He feels like he's about to pass the fuck out.

"No," he croaks.

You blink, "No?"

"No," he shakes his head, "you can't. Y-you can't be. That's not—you're n—what—what the fuck?"

You watch, silent, as he struggles with your revelation, the weight of your words clearly unsettling him.

Oh, you think. You've freaked him out by dropping the L word.

Well, you definitely misread the room there.

It’s not like you haven’t said "I love you" before. You tell each other that often enough—when he drops you off somewhere, at the end of your phone calls, when you give each other random gifts that remind you of the other.

But "I'm in love with you"? Yeah, that one’s a bit new…

Your stomach tightens, but you stay quiet, watching as his hand moves desperately through his hair, as if he doesn’t know what to do.

After a few minutes, he stops and turns to you. He didn't plan for it to go this way. He doesn't know what to fucking do.

You sigh, “I know this changes shit. Ruins everything. I thought I had it under control, but I really don't. And I'm not strong enough to keep pretending. So, if you're okay with still being in each other's lives, we need to set some clear boundari—"

"I fucking love you, Y/N." He kneels in front of you, taking one of your hands into both of his larger ones. "I've been obsessed with you since your mom brought you over to my house when we were five, and you told me my eyes looked like boba pearls."

You look into his eyes as he says that. They really do remind you of tapioca pearls…

"I can't remember a single day of my entire life where I haven't been in love with you. There is no me without you. You are all I can see when I think of my past and all I can see when I think of my future. No matter what you are to me, you're there. In every plan I make. In every dream I have. It's you. It's always been you."

You bite the inside of your bottom lip, fighting back tears. You’ve cried more in the last week than you have in your entire adult life.

"We are so fucking stupid." You sniffle, tipping your head back slightly to try and blink the tear up into your duct.

"We are," he agrees, gently tilting your head down and running his thumb under your lash line to catch the tear.

Once your face is dry, Jungkook's thumb travels down and brushes lightly over your bottom lip. He smiles when it feels exactly as he had imagined, another item mentally ticked off his bucket list.

You're about to ask if he's high when he suddenly springs into action, tackling you back onto the bed. You bounce slightly against the mattress as he holds himself up, careful not to squash you. He buries his face in the crook of your neck as you try, and fail, to suppress a smile at the idiot above you.

"It fucking sucked seeing you with other guys," he confesses, the words he’s been holding back for years finally breaking free.

Your fingers dance across his back, tracing idle patterns on the fabric of his shirt as you respond, “It fucking sucked seeing you with other girls.”

He pulls back slightly to look at you, a pout on his lips. "You should've told me, and I would've—"

“You should've told me!” you interject, giving him a playful smack on the chest. His frown deepens for a moment before breaking into a wide, uncontrollable grin.

He buries his head back into your neck, and you can feel him smiling against you. "You're such a loser," you giggle as you feel his teeth on your neck, not in a sexy biting way but because he's literally fucking grinning against you.

Time slips by quietly as your fingers sketch invisible designs across his back. Eventually, he breaks the comfortable silence. “Do you think we knew?” he murmurs, his voice muffled against your skin.

“Hmm?” you hum, your hand pausing in its motion to thread through his hair.

He shivers slightly under your touch before elaborating, “Do you think we knew that we were in love with each other?”

Your movements resume, alternating between letting his hair slip through your fingers and gentle scalp scratches. “Yeah, I think so."

He nestles closer, the sensation of your nails against his scalp coaxing a suppressed groan from him. "Why do you think we didn't say anything?"

"I don't know," you reply honestly. "Maybe we were too comfortable. Or maybe we were scared of what it would actually mean."

Jungkook lifts his gaze to meet yours, searching your eyes for answers. “What does it mean?” he asks quietly.

You smile, continuing to play with his hair. “You have a lot of questions,” you tease gently.

His nose scrunches at your evasive reply, and you run your finger down the bridge of it. "Such a pretty nose," you hum.

His eyes flutter shut at the touch, then snap open again. “You’re distracting me.”

The corners of your lips tug upwards. "Am I?"

He nods, making no move to stop the traces of your digit along his face. When your finger brushes the edge of his lip, he turns his head slightly, pressing a soft kiss to the pad of your finger, his actions drawing a gentle smile from you.

"You don't—do you not want to," he starts, hesitating mid-sentence before pushing himself to continue, “be with me?”

You bite your lip thoughtfully, finishing your gentle explorations of his face, your hand settling back onto his back. “I want to be with you more than anything else in the world, Gukkie.”

He lets out a breath of relief at your words, but his face falls slightly when he senses your hesitation. "But?"

"But," you say softly, "I'm scared. I'd rather have you in my life as my best friend than not have you at all if things don't work out."

He shakes his head, his hand cupping your face gently. “I told you. No matter what you are to me, I want you in my life. Isn’t that the same for you?”

"Of course it is, but you can't guarantee we'll feel this way in—"

“You’re such a beautiful,” he interrupts, planting a soft kiss on your jaw, “intelligent,” another on your neck, “incredible,” he continues down to your collarbone, “pessimist.” He finishes with a kiss just above your heart.

He gazes up at you with a mischievous grin as you narrow your eyes at him. "I will always want you in my life, no matter what shit ends up happening. Even if you tell me you hate me, or you like, fuck my dad or something…" He looks at you seriously, and you roll your eyes, unable to stifle your snicker.

"Well, your dad is kind of a DILF—"

“I’ll never willingly leave your life. And I’ll never do anything to make you want me to leave. And I promise you, on everything that is holy,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to a tender spot below your ear, “I’ll want you in mine for the rest of my fucking days.”

“You better,” you tease, his smile pressing into your skin before you grow serious, “because I can’t lose you.”

Jungkook’s sigh warms your skin, his nose nudging your head back as he murmurs, “You really don’t understand just how obsessed I am with you, do you, baby?”

His gaze lingers on your exposed throat, tracing every swallow, every breath. Unable to resist, he leans in, his lips finding the base of your throat, humming in contentment at the little noise you make.

Slowly, he makes his way to the side of your supple neck, his lips never detaching from your skin on his journey. You feel his breath as he hovers over the area for a second in pausing, and you wonder if it's because he can hear your heart slamming against your ribcage.

No strenuous activities.

His lips finally latch onto the skin of your neck and you feel the tiniest flick of his tongue as he suckles at the flesh.

Avoid physical exertion.

You let out the softest, breathiest fucking moan he's ever heard, and he pulls off your neck with a wet pop. His bunny teeth poke out to nibble at the now moist skin as he slowly moves to your collarbone.

Make sure you rest.

His kisses get lower, hotter, wetter, until finally, his face hovers over your thin little sleep shirt that he's considered throwing down the garbage disposal since you put it on. Bra, nowhere in sight, your hardened nipples taunt him through the pathetic excuse of a t-shirt. He glances up at you with eyes darkened with desire.

Fuck it, you've had enough rest.

You slide your hands up the back of his neck and dra him down to you, your lips meeting his with urgency. You swallow the surprised groan that escapes him, his arms framing your face as he looms over you.

Jungkook feels the tension in his muscles melt away as he surrenders to you. When you part your lips slightly, inviting him closer, he doesn't hesitate.

Your body ignites when his tongue slips into your mouth, lapping against yours and exploring as if it had always belonged there. As your back arches towards him instinctively, he slips large hand behind it, pressing you flush against him.

The countless times he's imagined this exact scenario could easily label him a certified stalker, but nothing could have prepared him for the real thing. He was absolutely fucked.

You're lost in the sensation, the warm air of your bedroom enveloping you blissfully. Nothing but the sounds of your mouths moving against each other's, tongues melting into one. Jungkook swallows the breathy whimper that escapes your lips with pride, his hips shifting forward at the fact that he's the one drawing such a noise from you. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him down, urging him to erase any space left between you.

"Fuck, Y/N," he chokes out, parting from your lips to suck in a deep breath as he feels the warmth between your thighs through his sweatpants.

"I know," you nod dumbly, mind foggy as you grind your hips into his desperately.

He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his breath hot against your skin. "It's never fucking felt like this," he confesses, each word punctuated with a thrust that draws a deeper moan from your lips.

"I know," you whine in agreement, your left arm linking around the back of his neck as you meet his movements, your entire body responding to his every move.

It hasn't felt like this. Ever. You've thought that you've had some pretty good sex in your life, but this is… different. All you’ve done is kiss and grind a little, and yet you can feel those tingles in your fucking toes that people always sing about.

It would be easy to say that it's because it's been eight long days since your last orgasm, but you know that's not the case. It's because it's him.

You've never wanted a cock in you so badly. Especially not after just three measly minutes of dry humping. But god, you're so turned on right now you're pretty sure if he pulled your panties to the side, it would spray at him like a fucking fire hydrant. As you said, it's been eight days; you're a little feral right now…

You feel him stiffening through his sweats, your back arching a little more as you shift and wiggle to try and usher his covered cock through the folds of your covered pussy.

Jungkook's hips stutter when he feels you trying to line him up, and his head jerks up to look at you. He drinks in your blissed-out features; lip between your teeth, head tilted slightly, eyes closed. So pretty.

Your eyes flutter open at the long pause in his movements, and your breath catches in your throat at the sight.

Cheeks flushed, lips red and swollen, eyes hooded.

You almost let a giggle slip when you see the similarities between his horny face and his drunk face.

"Do you want to take a nap?"

You blink at him.

"I'm sorry?"

The pink tinge that coats his cheeks creeps down his neck, disappearing into the collar of his shirt. "I just thought—"

"What?" you ask, maaaybe a little offended, "you don't wanna fuck me?"

His brows furrow as he sits up, his heels resting under his butt as he stares at you like you've just kicked a puppy before his very eyes. "First of all, I want to fuck you. I've wanted to fuck you since you made me pop my first boner at your dumb little pool party—"

"Jeongguk," you cringe, "we were like twe—"

"I've never wanted to fuck someone more than I. want. to. fuck. you." You almost laugh at the serious expression on his face but bite it back when you notice the undertone of worry in his gaze.

"I just want it to be perfect," he sighs, his tattooed hand lifting to brush through his hair, one of his nervous tics. "There's so much I want to do... and I want it all to be, like, perfect... god, Y/N, I'm being such a little bitch—"

"No," you cut him off simply, "you're being really fucking hot."

He looks at you with a slight pout as you shoot him a small smile before sitting up and mirroring his position. Your bare knees touch his that are covered by the gray Celine sweatpants you bought him last Christmas as a stocking stuffer. You're a good deal shorter than him, so your head is tilted up slightly, blinking at him slowly through your lashes.

You watch his gaze soften and you internally smirk. There we go.

You've waited far too long for the man sitting in front of you on your queen-sized bed—staring at you with more lust than you know what to do with—to prolong this any longer.

You can have your perfect night when you're not a week into an unplanned celibacy course, and your clit doesn't feel like it's going to shrivel up and snap off if left unattended any longer.

"If you want to wait, we'll wait." You shrug as you look from his left eye to his right, then down to his swollen lips. "But I haven't touched myself in eight days... And it hurts, Gukkie."

Your head hits the pillow as his mouth is back on yours in an instant. You moan in satisfaction, your lips parting eagerly to let him in further. Your legs wrap back around his waist happily, and your foot trails down to rub soft patterns against his hamstring while his tongue plays with yours.

"This is just a practice run," he grunts as he separates from you, kissing his way down your chest before he gets to the valley of your breasts.

"Yeah, yeah, grace period, whatever you want, baby, just keep going," you blurt in a huff, eyes closed in anticipation as his mouth is about to finally do some damage.

You almost scream when he stops.

You snap your eyes open and look down at the son of a bitch breathing hot air onto your already hot skin while he just smiles at you.

"Say that again."

"Say wha—"

"Baby. You called me baby, say it again."

You stare at him for a moment, your idea to tease him diminishing with the last of your patience.

"Baby," you add a shy pout to really sell it and fiddle with the hem of your shirt, "can you suck on them for a little?"

You watch as Jungkook's smile fades and his eyes unfocus, like he just transported into a different state. His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he nods once, almost to himself, before he takes the bottom of your shirt that's ridden up to your belly button and lifts it to rest under your chin. Your tits bounce slightly as they spill from the fabric, and he lets out a soft "fuck" before diving in.

His hot mouth latches to your left nipple, groaning when he feels the bud pebble against his tongue. His lips pucker around the nub, sucking it into his mouth desperately, and he lets out a loud moan. This is it. This is heaven, he thinks.

Your legs shakily unlatch from around his waist, and you rest your feet on the mattress, your knees bent and pressing against his sides while he makes out with your tits.

His teeth graze gently over your nipple before he gives it a little nibble, which causes your back to arch. Doing so forces more of your boob into his mouth and he lets out a low muffled groan through a mouthful of your flesh.

"Mmmf've wanted these in my mouth for a long fucking time..." He slurs when he pulls back. His big hands cup your big tits, his gaze concentrated and focused as he jiggles and plays with them, like he can't believe what he's seeing.

"Do you wanna fuck them?"

Jungkook lets out a loud groan at your filthy words, spoken with such an innocent tone his cock is almost confused as it swells like a fucking water balloon in his pants.

His left hand continues to rub soothingly at one of your tender nipples while the other slips down between you. He looks up at the blurry need in your eyes, and his traveling hand almost misses the waistband of his sweats.

"I always knew you were dirty," he breathes out, the words muffled as he plants soft, wet kisses on each of your nipples, sending shivers down your spine. With a strained groan, he frees his painfully hard erection from the confines of his briefs. "But fuck, baby, this is gonna kill me."

God, the way he says baby. Straight to the fucking core.

You tap his bum with your foot and a pretty smile, sitting up on the bed when he lifts his frame to let you slide out. His angry red cock is flush against his stomach, only the top few inches visible from the briefs that rose back up to cover him.

He lets you usher him to sit at the edge of your bed, his feet digging into your fluffy rug as he tries to ground himself while you settle. Your shirt is still being held up on its own because your tits won't let it fucking fall and Jungkook shakes his head in awe at the sight. Fucking unbelievable.

The moment you kneel on the ground, the tops of your feet flat against the carpet as you lean up slightly, your eyes fixate on his throbbing cock like it's a priceless painting. Jungkook loses his mind.

Your eyes slowly lift to his when you hear his heaved, choky breathing. Your bottom lip catches between your teeth as you fight the urge to smile. "You're so pretty, Gukkie."

"You're prettier, baby," he replies without missing a beat, one hand supporting his weight on the bed while the other gently caresses your face.

A radiant smile spreads across your lips as you turn your face to place a fleeting kiss on his palm. His lips tug upwards at the action before the air is suddenly ripped from his lungs.

Leaning forward, you pull his briefs fully down, unsheathing his entire shaft. You tug the boxers and sweatpants so they rest under his balls, cooing at the way the elastic slightly pushes up his length, making it even angrier as a dribble of liquid gathers at the tip. You lift his shirt absentmindedly to get it out of the way, and he understands, lifting a hand to the back of the neckline and pulling it off his torso.

You barely have a chance to appreciate his tight abs, tiny waist, sinful ink that coats his skin, or the sparkling Cartier chain that dangles from his neck, a mirror of your own.

Your head tilts as you admire the prettiest dick you've ever had in front of you, each vein and ridge perfectly imperfect, complementing each other in a way that would look strange if a single one were to go missing. "Needa..." you hum, entranced, "get it wet first."

"Fuckkkkk," Jungkook moans as you lean down and lick a fat strip from the base of his balls all the way up his shaft, sucking the tip into your mouth.

Your eyes flutter closed on their own, the feeling of his heavy cock weighing your tongue down, making you drowsy and floaty. The scent of your body wash wafts from his skin, igniting a possessive fire in your gut you didn't even know you had as you suckle at the head. The moment he twitches against your tongue, any thought of titty-fucking flies right out your penthouse window. You're not letting him out of your mouth.

"Ohhh-hhh," he stammers as your tongue focuses on the ridge of his tip, lapping at his frenulum like it's your favorite blueberry flavored lollipop.

His hand, which had dropped back to the bed when you took him in your mouth, lifts to run through your hair, brushing it out of your face when it threatens to get in the way of your masterwork. Your eyes blink open in thanks, looking up at him dazedly, and when you catch his own, he throws his head back with a groan.

"Fuck!" He curses as you hum around his shaft, letting your lips part slightly so saliva can drip from your mouth and trail down his cock. His head snaps up to watch as you keep pushing more spit until you deem there enough before your right-hand lifts to clasp around the member.

Jungkook's eyes roll back, the grunts falling from his lips not even registering in his brain as they spew. "Fuck, baby," he huffs out. You wiggle your fingers until you have a good hold on his cock before giving it a few lazy squeezes to get the blood pumping.

"Fucking fuck!" He's absolutely done for, his entire vocabulary vanishing from his mind as you play with his dick like a joystick. Your tongue gives a final flick to lap up the precum spilling from his glan before you inhale deeply through your nose and start to feed the shaft down your throat.

The walls of your throat contract slightly as his thick girth tests your boundaries, but you push through the resistance and force it further until your lips reach your hand gripping the base of his cock.

"Oh my fucking god," Jungkook almost falls backward, but the hand that's not holding your hair out of the way steadies his balance, shaking as it works to keep him upright.

His hips jerk unconsciously when you move your hand from the base, resting it gently against his balls as you inhale through your nose again and finish him off. "Baby! B-fuck!" Jungkook would like to say that it was a manly groan, but it was a pure and outright whine.

His vocality goes straight to your cunt, your clit aching and throbbing against your underwear, screaming at you to let it breathe. You resist the urge to trail a hand down and relieve the pain, instead using it to cup Jungkook's full ballsack and roll it between your fingers. His whines get louder at that, and you almost smile around his cock.

You wait until you feel the familiar sensation of the cockhead tickling the back of your throat, the automatic gag rising through your entire body, making you swallow harshly against his shaft.

When you swallow, you rid the excess saliva that was in your mouth, so you lift off for a second to gather more. As you do, you look up to your best friend and see him staring down at you like you hung the stars, and the smile finally breaks its way to your lips.

You lean up to give him a kiss, and he meets you halfway, his hand falling from your hair to cup your face as he melts into your mouth. It's short, sweet, and soft, yet it makes your entire body flush with goosebumps.

"I love you so much," Jungkook breathes when you pull away, and you coo at the softy, pressing a gentle kiss against his pretty nose.

"I love you more, my Gukkie," you reply sweetly before returning to the task at hand.

"Not possi—" his words are cut off when you let a stream of saliva drip from your mouth before taking him down in one swift motion.

"Oh," he moans, both hands gathering your hair into a loose ponytail, following the rise and fall of your head as you deepthroat his cock. "Oh, fuck. Yeah, fucking shittt."

You quicken your pace, your right hand like a magnet below your lips, gliding up and down his length as you squeeze it intermittently, picking up on the subtle jerks of his hips. The spit coating his cock squelches with every stroke, the filthy noise echoing in your bedroom, making your hips shift against the heels of your feet. You're so turned on. Why is his dick so fucking pretty?

Your mouth is lethal, dragging all the way until the only thing left in your cave is the tip before gulping all the way back to the base. "Yesss, baby," he chokes, "taking it so well, my baby. So fucking well."

His praise loosens the final screw in your hazy brain, your hand on the base moving to grip his thigh as you gurgle as deep as you can, the tip brushing against your uvula. You gag, hard and loud, spit spilling from your lips as your teary eyes squeeze shut. Your nails dig into his skin, and he lets out the loudest moan of the night, his hips jerking forward roughly, forcing another gag from your throat.

"Mmmmmfh," you moan desperately, squeezing his thigh tightly and running your free hand back to his balls. You roll the sack in your hand, lifting your head up and down his cock with no mercy, sloppily choking on his throbbing length.

His hands tangled in your hair are shaking, his abdomen tensing as he's overwhelmed with pleasure. "God, look at you just taking it all babyy, hhffuckk,” he praises through a grunt, watching the saliva spill out from the corners of your mouth, dripping down to his balls while you fondle them. “Best fucking girl, you know that? Making me feel so fucking good. Just want me to come down your tight little throat, don’t you, my baby?"

Your eyes roll back behind your closed lids as you nod pathetically with a mouthful of his cock. You lift off with a wet pop, your eyes blinking open as you guide your hand from cupping his balls up to his shaft. You jerk him tight and sloppily before leaning down and taking his sac into your mouth. It's big, barely fitting in your mouth, but you force your jaw wider, using your tongue to usher his balls inside.

"Ahhhhffuck," Jungkook whines, his head thrown back in pure ecstasy. Your tongue laps around his balls ruthlessly as you quicken your tugs on his shaft. When you moan greedily, wiggling your head as the sac pulses and rolls against your tongue, Jungkook feels the familiar sensation flooding his body. It's faster and harder than ever before. He tries to gesture you off him, afraid if he speaks he will lose control, but you don't relent.

"Baby, y-you gotta hop off," he heaves, his ass cheeks clenching together to try and hold off the urge to cum.

"Mm-mm." You hum a no through a mouthful of ballsack, eyes fluttering open to look up at the gorgeous man trying to take away your meal. Your hand, running amok on his cock twists and squeezes, never halting as you blink up at Jungkook through your lashes.

"Ah," he whines with a shake of his head, his hips thrusting into the air, your mouth jolting with the movement as it's attached to his balls. You hum happily, tongue flicking against them. You can't wait to see his cum dripping down his abs—

Your mouth is ripped from his balls, hand unwillingly releasing his cock as he throws you back onto your bed with purpose. "Hey—"

Jungkook swallows your whine with his mouth, cutting off your thoughts at the source when his tongue delves through your lips, lapping at the taste of him lingering on your tongue. He successfully makes you forget what unimportant thing you were going to say as he devours you, your mouths moving together, sloppy and wet.

He pulls your tongue into his mouth and suckles on the muscle while his hand runs gently over your still-exposed nipple before trailing down to your shorts. Jungkook groans around your tongue when he brushes lightly over your heat, feeling the fabric coating your pussy-lips wet to the touch.

With a final suck on your tongue, he lets it slide back into your mouth before parting from your lips. He looks down at the area he's tracing light strokes on, and his cock twitches at the sight.

"Oh, baby..." He coos, his thumb running over the wet patch in awe before looking to you. Your lip is drawn between your teeth as you nibble lightly on the flesh, eyes clouded as you stare at him with a mellow haze. "So wet, pretty... Gukkie didn't give her any attention, and she's all achy now, hmm?"

"Mmhm," you nod softly, the pout on your face still visible even with your lip tugged between your teeth. Jungkook pulls his gaze from his thumb and looks at you, all soft and sweet, just for him.

"Need the ache to go away, don't you, pretty?" He mumbles against your mouth, not applying pressure but just letting your lips rest against each other.

"Yes, please, Gukkie." You respond, voice soft as you stare at his lips patiently, waiting for him to give them to you.

"Good manners, baby," he praises delicately before leaning forward and giving you a slow, gentle kiss. You melt into him, the sound of his pleased sigh making your muscles all mushy.

Jungkook pulls back and then presses three quick, rapid kisses against your lips, making you giggle. That seemed to be his goal when the side of his mouth curved upwards at your laugh as he lifted himself off your frame.

He kicks off his sweatpants the rest of the way, and they fall to the floor next to your bed, but he tucks his still painfully hard cock back into his black briefs to hold it for the time being.

Jungkook looks down at his effortlessly beautiful best friend, lying prettily on her bed, hair sprawled out against the pillow while she waits for him to take her any way he desires. Teenage him would be freaking the fuck out if he could see him right now.

His gaze drags slowly up your body, a lingering moment spent on the meat of your thighs, and he swallows before finally locking onto the space between.

You try to will yourself to be patient despite the aching throb coming from your heat, but your leg betrays you and twitches slightly. Jungkook catches the movement instantly.

"Gonna flip you on your tummy, okay baby?" he says distractedly, eyes never straying from the wet patch on your shorts.

"Oka—"

You don't get to finish your sentence before his hands are on your hips and he flips you as gently as a horny lacrosse captain can. A surprised squeak slips out when your face hits the mattress, and you both giggle, Jungkook leaning down to kiss your shoulder with a soft, sorry pretty.

Jungkook has always been a tits guy. Tried and true. It may have stemmed from growing up with a best friend that he was hopelessly in love with who happened to develop the greatest rack he'd ever seen in his life... But right now, as Jungkook stares at your soft, round asscheeks stuffed into those little cotton sleep shorts, he's beginning to rethink his entire life choices.

He kneels at the edge of the bed, using your ankle to gently pull you further toward him. You slide down the bed without any complaints, trying not to arch your back so you can be even closer to him.

Jungkook continues his ministrations on your curves before trailing up to the waistband of your shorts. He pulls them done, your panties coming with them, and he groans at the way the flesh ripples when released from the fabric. He grabs a greedy handful of each cheek with his big hands and gives them a rough squeeze, relishing in the way you push back into his grip.

"So pretty, my baby," he hums, continuing to knead the flesh as he dips to pepper kisses all over the flushed skin.

You whine, your hips grinding into the bed in an attempt to put some pressure on your ignored clit. He notices your movements and presses one last kiss to your right asscheek before sitting back and pulling your bottoms off fully. They fall into a pile next to his discarded sweatpants, and you breathe a sigh of relief at the freedom from the confines.

When one of Jungkook's hands slips between your belly and the mattress, you can't stop the noise of satisfaction that leaves you when he gently ushers you to your hands and knees. You quickly tug your top the rest of the way off, slinking it over your head and handing it back blindly to Jungkook. He takes it from you instantly, chucking it at the growing pile of clothes next to him.

On instinct, you fall to your forearms, nipples rubbing against your duvet as you arch your back, biting your lip when even the warm air of your bedroom feels cool against your burning cunt.

"Fucking hell..." Jungkook chokes out, the sight of your soaked pussy spread and bearing for him, making his mouth water.

"Ah-fuck!" A high-pitched squeal rips from your throat when he leans down and delivers a long, broad lick up your slit.

He lets out a loud moan into your pussy when you jerk back into him at the feeling. You're so fucking wet from being so worked up, and his cock throbs against his briefs at the taste of your juices leaking onto his tongue. Jungkook's hands slide to the front of your thighs to steady you as he loses himself, his tongue wrapping your clit, sucking the hardening nub messily into his mouth. "Mmmmfh," he sighs contently like he was taking a sip of a well-made café latte instead of feasting on your cunt like a madman.

When he releases your clit, dragging the flat of his tongue from the button all the way to your opening, your knees buckle. "Yes, Gukkie, fuckk yes!" You cry, writhing against his sinful tongue.

Jungkook almost purrs in delight, lapping up the slick between your folds, trying to get every last drop. His tongue finds its way to the entrance of your core, teasingly dipping in and out once, twice, before he loses control and thrusts it as far as it can go. "Uhhh-shhhittt," your head falls forward with a shuddery gasp, your walls clenching around his tongue, pulling a low groan from him.

Jungkook's hands slide up from your thighs to rest on your asscheeks, and before you can process the realization that he hasn't used his fingers on you yet, he's gripping the flesh and pulling you harshly into his face. "Uh!" You moan, your ass flush against his face as he buries himself, nose and tongue, right into your cunt.

"Hhhhhhhhhh," you're not even saying words anymore, just useless, incoherent noises spluttering from your lips as you quiver, grinding your pussy back into his face.

He tries not to focus on your other hole, the tight little puckered fucking one that's basically blinking at him. Taunting him. He closes his eyes as he focuses on losing himself in your pussy. Another day, he thinks.

Jungkook's mouth is covered in your juice, his head shaking from side to side as he drags his tongue furiously around your cunt. The filthy sound of your sopping pussy getting devoured by his tongue resounds around your bedroom, Jungkook's hips rutting into the edge of your bed needily.

"Yes, Gukkie, yes!!! So good babyyyy--ohhh fuckkkk!" You scream, your nails digging into the mattress as you grind your pussy back into his face.

Jungkook's eyes roll back, his moans getting swallowed by your slick folds. Fuck oxygen, he hopes he passes out.

He takes one of the hands resting on your ass and brings a finger to your leaky entrance. He pulls away for a millisecond to suck in a breath before dropping down instantly and enveloping your clit with his tongue, sucking it into his mouth. And with that, he finally pushes his middle finger into your hole.

You try to moan, but with the pressure on your clit and the sensation of finally being filled, the only sound that escapes is a strangled gasp. He lets your clit slip out of his mouth before his tongue quickly darts out to flick against it vigorously, his finger delving deeper into your hole with every jab of his tongue.

Your body shudders as he expertly works his tongue and finger in tandem, each movement driving you closer to the edge. "G-Gukkie, I'm so fucking close," you whimper, your thighs trembling around his head.

Jungkook's free hand tightens on your ass, pulling you even closer as he tries to add a second finger, his eyebrows furrowing at the resistance. "Relax baby, gotta let Gukkie in." He gives a particularly hard tongue of your clit, a pleased hum declared into your pussy when he feels your walls loosen to let his other slip in.

His tongue flicks faster, more determined, as he feels your walls flutter around his digits. He pulls back a hair to mumble against your clit, "You can let go now, my baby. I've got you."

With a harsh flick of his tongue and a curl of his fingers, you tense up. "Oh my fuck, Gukkie, yes!" You cry out, your body convulsing as he pounds against your g-spot with his thick fingers. Your eyes roll back, a final scream ripping from your throat as you shatter, your orgasm ripping you apart from the inside out.

Jungkook doesn't stop, his tongue and fingers relentless as they pull every last drop of pleasure from your shaky core. The hand of his that is still gripping your ass slips up to gently rub against your back when you collapse into the mattress.

Tears well in your eyes as Jungkook delivers a final drag of his tongue from your bud to your hole, swallowing every last drop of juice leaking from your cunt. He withdraws his fingers carefully, replacing them with soft, soothing strokes along your inner thighs.

It takes you a solid minute to come down from your high, your limbs still tingling from the hardest orgasm you've had in, well, ever. Jungkook continues his soft strokes against your thighs while you catch your breath, his head spinning and mouth still coated in your remnants.

"I get it now." Your voice is muffled by the comforter you face planted into, and you currently don't have the strength to get up.

"Hm?" Jungkook hums amusedly, his hand still tracing gently over your skin.

"Why girls always want your dick so bad. I get it now. If your tongue is that good, fucking hell..."

Jungkook snorts, leaning down to press a kiss on your lower back before flopping down to lay next to you. You finally lift your head from the blanket to look at your best friend, who's already smiling down at you, his tattooed arm tucked behind his head while he rests against the headboard.

His brow raises when you giggle suddenly and sit up. He doesn't have time to admire your bare tits almost in his face when your hand lifts up to his mouth. You're still giggling as you wipe at the shiny substance that coats his lips. A shocked gasp leaves Jungkook's lips, and he grabs your hand in a flash, his eyes holding clouds of pure betrayal.

"Why would you do that?" He's genuinely upset!

It's your turn to snort this time, lifting a leg over his lap so you're straddling him. "I'm sorry, Gukkie." You entertain him with an amused eye roll, leaning in to plant a sweet kiss against his lips.

Jungkook dissolves into the kiss, about to deepen it when you pull away. His eyes snap open, ready to protest, when suddenly your tongue flicks out, dragging flat across his lips to gather your slick that coats his mouth.

"Mm," you hum, making sure to get every bit around the corner of his lips and even the speck of gloss you see on the tip of his nose.

Jungkook is frozen. His cock thrashes against his briefs as he stares at you in complete awe, your tongue sliding back into your mouth to swallow the juices—your juices—that you just lapped up from his fucking lips.

Your lip darts between your teeth as you try not to laugh at his darkened expression. Looking down at the source of the throbbing against your bare pussy, you let out a teasing coo. "That looks really sore, Gukkie..."

Jungkook swallows. He needs to calm down or he's going to pin you into the mattress and fuck you open, raw.

"It is." He manages to choke out.

You pout, lifting your gaze back to him. "Don't want you to be sore."

"You don't?" He returns softly, dragging his hand over your bare thigh.

You shake your head so cutely that he almost shivers. You lean closer, gaze flickering from his pretty nose and then back to his eyes. "I could make the pain go away if you want..."

"Yeah? You wanna make Gukkie feel better, pretty?"

You nod, the hazy feeling taking over again as he runs his hands gently up your hips, resting gently on the swell of your ass.

You lift off him slightly, his hands moving with you as they're glued to your bum. Jungkook bites his lip at the wet patch you left on his boxers, and he thanks God he did because it muffles the pitchy groan that escapes him when your hand slithers beneath his waistband.

His eyes flutter shut when you give his painfully red cock a few gentle strokes, his head dropping back to hit the headboard.

"Baby," you giggle, "you're so fucking hard."

He lifts his head to give you a deadpanned fucking obviously look, and you just snicker, leaning forward to kiss his pouty lips.

"Oh no. Fuck."

He jerks forward slightly at your serious tone, his hands moving from your butt to cup the one of yours that froze around his dick worriedly. "Huh? What's wrong?"

Your eyes soften as you don't respond verbally, a devastated look clouding your gaze. He sits up seriously now. "Baby, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I don't have any condoms." Your brows are pulled together so tightly, which Jungkook still doesn't like, but he releases a breath at your words.

"Fuck, Y/N. Don't do that. You scared me, I thought you were hurt or something." His head falls back to rest against your headboard in relief instead of pleasure this time.

You frown. "Why aren't you upset? Oh, did you bring some?" Jungkook almost laughs at the thought, lifting his head to watch as you release his dick to glance behind you at his overnight bag.

"What-no, baby. Of course I didn't bring condoms. This is probably the last thing I ever expected to happen."

Your pout is in full swing now, turning back to Jungkook with a very unhappy look. He just shakes his head at your pretty face, planting his hands on the mattress beside him and pushing up to press your lips to his.

When you pull away, Jungkook is about to ask if you want to grind on him over his briefs because he would be finished in approximately thirty seconds—

"I'm on the pill." You say softly.

He swallows. "I know."

"Do you-are you clean?"

"Yeah," he chokes out, "haven't ever not used a condom. And tested after that scare the other week with...uh..."

"Did you really forget her name?" You squint, shaking your head incredulously at his genuine look of confusion.

"I-uh, yeah I don't know... All I remember is that it kinda burned when I peed—"

You roll your eyes. "Her name," you press a quick kiss to his lips, "was Yejin."

"Ohh, yeah—"

"You also did that stupid 10-packet spicy ramen challenge that day." Another quick kiss to his lips.

"Hey, that was for a fundraiser—"

"And I'm clean... Tested with Mingyu."

"Oh." Jungkook's heartbeat picks up. Not at the Mingyu part, okay maybe a little, but mostly at the fact that you're hinting at him taking you fucking raw right now.

Your lips purse, his response suddenly making you feel stupid for asking. Jungkook picks up on the look instantly, his hands cradling your face when you try to look away.

"Baby," you're about to apologize when he continues, "it's your choice. I'd fuck you wrapped in a garbage bag if you asked me to."

Your lips wiggle as you try not to smile, looking back at him with a glint in your eyes. "You're really cute, Gukkie."

"Oh?" He hums, "I thought I was a pussy eating God... but cute works too I guess."

You snicker, falling into his lips and he swallows your soft giggles with his tongue. "So humble," you whisper against his lips when you break away.

Jungkook's about to tease further, but you don't give him the chance, your hand slipping back down to wrap around his shaft. A soft shudder leaves him, his hands falling from your face to grip your ass again, squeezing it firmly.

You're still a bit sensitive, but nothing you can't handle, and you shift forward a little so the lips of your pussy press against his length.

"Oh-fuck." He moans at the feeling of a bare pussy on his cock. And it's your pussy. Holy fuck.

You place both your hands on his thick thighs, leaning back to get the right angle before you slide your hips up and down, dragging his length through your wet slit. Jungkook's hands sprawl over your back when you lean back, cradling you almost, and he keens at the sloppy, squishy sounds that fill the room.

Your clit is alive again, thumping against his cock every time it drags through your lips, and you heave out a strained moan at the fresh wave of arousal that washes over you.

Your hand pushes against Jungkook's chest gently as you sit up, determined. He lets himself fall back against the headboard, face flushed, neck vein visible, while he watches intently. Your knees press into the mattress on either side of his thighs as you lean forward, your hand reaching behind you blindly to grip his shaft before you line it up with your entrance.

Your brows furrow, and you bite your bottom lip hard as you try to press the bulbous head in. Your opening does its best to stretch around the intruder and you let out a relieved whine when it finally gets sucked in.

"Fuck." Jungkook whimpers, his head slamming back hard against the headboard. Your walls burn as you struggle to accommodate his huge length, and he can fucking feel it.

You let the tingles flooding up your spine settle for a second. Then, you take a big breath, and drop.

"Mother fuckkkkk." Jungkook groans, his hands squeezing your ass tightly in shock as you take his entire length in one go.

Your eyes are closed, head thrown back in pleasure as you bask in the feeling for a moment. Every inch of you is filled with his thick girth. You've never felt so full and so fucking good.

You're so wet. So warm. So tight. Jungkook is grateful for the pause in your movements because he thinks he actually would've fucking come if you—

Your hips lift up until all that's remaining in you is his fat cockhead before you sink back down and take it all in one swoop.

Lewd noises spew from his lips as he forces his eyes to stay open, watching you swallow his cock over and over and over.

"So fucking good at that, baby, shit..." Jungkook grunts.

Your nails dig into his thighs at the praise, your head lifting back up to look at him as you increase your pace.

You begin to move faster, riding him with an increasing intensity that makes the bed creak beneath you. The friction and fullness send waves of pleasure through your body, making you gasp and moan. Your hands find his shoulders, using them as leverage as you bounce on his length harder.

"Godssooo fucking good," you pant, your voice a breathless slur. "So deep, Gukkie. C-can feel it in my tummy."

Jungkook's hands slide up your back with a growl, pulling you closer until your chests are pressed together. He captures your lips in a heated kiss, tongues tangling as the rhythm of your hips grows more frantic. The slick sounds of your bodies slamming together fills the room, enveloping you both in desire.

Breaking the kiss, Jungkook's lips trail down your neck, sucking and nipping at your sensitive skin. "Taking it so good, my baby," he worships against your collarbone. "So fucking perfect."

The praise spurs you on, your movements becoming pathetically desperate as you chase your release. You can feel the burning tension coiling in your core, ready to snap, when suddenly his feet move to plant themselves into your mattress and he begins to thrust up into you.

"Oh fuck yes, fuck!" You gasp, your knees trembling as he plows relentlessly into you from below.

"Shittttt," he groans, his grip on your hips tightening as he pulls you up and down on his cock, balls slapping against your ass as he pistons furiously into your pussy. "So good at riding cock, baby, taking it all like a proper fucking slut."

You cry loudly at his words, your nails digging into his shoulder slightly as you writhe against his thrusts. "It's the pilates," you choke out, "developed good core strength. Great for riding dick."

Jungkook lets out a loud laugh, leaning forward to bury his face in your neck while his thrusts get even deeper. He feels your walls tighten around him sorely, and he heaves a shaky breath before slipping a tattoed hand between you two, thumb attaching to your clit. Your fucked-out uh-uh-uh’s echoes in his ears with every plunge of his cock, fueling him to go harder.

The sloppy bud twitches under his touch, his thumb slipping from how soaked you are, but he doesn't back down. He chases the hard nub and flicks it in time with his thrusts, cock jittering as you let out your loudest moan of the night.

"I'm gonna come, Gukkie. I-I'm gonna fucking come! Oh my goddddd!" you're bouncing on him wildly, your walls clenching furiously with no pattern, completely run with pleasure that you can't control it.

"Come on, baby," he whines through a thrust, his balls squeezing as you get impossibly tighter, begging to let them release their fluids, "Ohh-h-ffuck, can I come too, baby? Can I come in you? Oh fuck, fuck."

You don't even get to answer as you completely shatter, your orgasm taking control over your whole body that you swear you see the light. You cry out his name as best you can, your body convulsing, shaking around his length.

You can't possibly speak as you collapse against his chest but as you fall, you see the pained look in his eyes as he tries not to come. You want it so bad. More than you've ever wanted anything in your life. Before you know what you're doing, your thighs tighten around his legs, your mouth moves to the nape of his neck, and you bite. Hard.

Jungkook spasms, the deepest growl of a moan rips through his throat as he throws his head back and cums, deep and hot, right into your cunt. You whimper around the chunk of flesh captured between your teeth, his thick load tickling your walls as it fills your hole.

You feel complete.

Jungkook's hands gently stroke your back, grounding you as you come down from your high. Nothing but the sound of both your heavy breathing fills your ears before Jungkook breaks the silence. "You did so well, baby."

Your tongue laps and licks softly at the skin of his neck to soothe the subtle teeth marks you left, and he lets out a pleased noise through a shiver. Your head lifts to look into his eyes, a hazy smile spreading across your face when you take in his blissed-out features. "I didn't know sex could feel like that."

Jungkook's eyes flutter open at your words, his stomach clenching in pure joy that his softening cock still tucked up inside of you even lets out a shudder. "Yeah?" He asks softly, a hand lifting to tuck some of your messy hair behind your ear.

"Yeah," you nod with a flutter of your eyes at his gentle touches, "the fact it was you was probably the main factor," you mumble dreamily against his neck when you rest your head on his shoulder, "but that was still the best dick I've ever had."

His heart swells infinitely. You were by far the best pussy he's ever had, but he didn’t think you would share such a thought. He should've known by now that if you are many things, predictable is not one of them.

You wrap your legs around his waist, nuzzling into his neck happily as his cock stays plugged inside of you, keeping his load intact and secure.

Jungkook's arms slink under your arms gently so he can pull you even closer, wrapping you around his chest (and his length) like a koala.

"This has been the greatest night of my entire life, Y/N." He whispers honestly against your cheek before pressing a soft kiss into the skin. "Thank you."

You hum contently, tilting your head up slightly to look at him with a pretty smile. "I love you, Gukkie."

"I love you, pretty." He replies, peppering your lips with another three quick kisses, smiling in satisfaction when another you give him another giggle.

You let the comfortable silence wrap you for a moment before breaking it. "Do we have any pasta left from dinner?"

The mention of dinner makes him think for a moment. He cooked pasta for the two of you, which you ate not long before coming into your room. You ate before sex. And you don’t look like you feel sick.

He gazes down at you, his smile broadening, heart fluttering. "'Course, I made heaps. Are you hungry?"

"Mhm."

"C'mon then," he says, giving your bum a gentle pat, ready to lift you off him and clean you up before feeding you.

"'nna minute..." You mumble sleepily against his neck, and he stops his movements, hands settling back to rub soothing strokes on your bum.

"You want me to carry you, don’t you?" he teases, suppressing a smirk as he feels you clench around him absentmindedly at him reading your thoughts.

"Noo...." your voice trails off, not even trying to conceal your lie. Jungkook chuckles softly, feeling your smile against his skin.

He makes sure he has a tight grip on you, and you him, before he carefully lifts both of you from the bed. He leads you into your ensuite, his long arm reaching out to snatch some toilet paper and a clean hand towel from your shelf as he gently places you on the sink counter.

Jungkook captures the liquid that seeps from your core with the paper as he slowly withdraws. He gives you a chuckly sorry when you wince a little, the thick head of his cock tugging at your walls as he retreats. He presses a sweet kiss to your lips to distract you and slips out with a final tug.

After discarding the used toilet paper, he dampens the towel with warm water and tenderly runs it over your core gently, pulling a pleased sigh from your lips.

Watching your best friend in awe through half-lidded eyes, he makes sure to thoroughly clean up the mess on and in your pussy before he half-heartedly uses the towel to wipe at his wet length.

He chucks the rag into the laundry hamper on the other side of the large bathroom. It lands directly in the basket from his athletic skills, and he turns to you with a cocky smirk.

You shake your head in amusement, "you're a loser."

"Don't talk to me like that, gonna get me hard again."

Your eyes widen in mock shock, before you giggle into his chest. "Knew you'd be into shit like degradation... Just had this feeling."

"Only with you though." It's cliché, but he means it.

You lift your head from his chest. "Only for me, huh?"

Jungkook nods, still standing between your legs as you look up at him from your bathroom counter. His gaze turns a little more serious. "Only yours."

Your head tilts as you blink up at the most gorgeous boy you've ever seen in your life. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Jungkook responds instantly and certainly. His thumbs tremble nervously against your thighs while he waits for your response, and they pull to a halt when you lean up to rest your mouth against his.

"Good," you murmur softly against his pouty lips, "because I'm all fucking yours."

END.

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thank you so much for reading. let me know what you think? love you <3

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