#and not in the way i like to be chained up

[fairsweetlonging]

i love writing about shen qingqiu flirting with people but not knowing he does it, and never realizing what effect it has on people or when they flirt back

for instance, he doesn't quite have a grasp on the usage of flowery, poetic speech yet, so he uses it in ways that are more suggestive than he means to. he compliments liu qingge's fighting style but the words he uses are "dancing like a snow lotus in the high mountain gales" and liu qingge turns so red shen qingqiu thinks he has a fever. he also said to wei qingwei that if only he was better a guqing player he would capture the sound of his laughter (wei qingwei has a boisterous laugh and this was meant to be teasing) and wei qingwei lay awake for three nights thinking about that.

he'd try to banter with yue qingyuan in the sort of taunting style of the original sqq, but in doing so accidentally strays into "shixiong should just bring his pillow and move in with how much he visits" "well if shidi insists" territory, and he doesn't realize it.

he pretends to be jealous when liu qingge goes on a mission with someone else, saying things like "shidi is having so much fun with [other peak lord], am i not enough? has my heart been traded for another?" with a fake pout that's supposed to be playful, but that inadvertently causes liu qingge to only accept missions with him or by himself, and of course shen qingqiu keeps digging this hole deeper by then acting flattered when liu qingge invites only him to the hunt.

he also definitely goes a little shakespearean sometimes to be dramatic, but people take that serious too. one time shang qinghua was too busy to read/write with him, so he complained to whoever listened, "the cruelty of his words have ripped my heart asunder, never again will i feel joy from what has now turned to sorrow", and two days later shang qinghua asks him what the hell he said to make half of the peak lords show up angry at his house like scorned lovers

in my mind he has also made a "chain me to the bed to have your way" kind of comment about his without a cure treatment, because mu qingfang added twenty new concoctions to the list that are yucky and shen yuan doesn't like yucky things, but even he was like "hm" about that and their next appointment was a little awkward.

[bunnys-kisses]

retired!price liked that you had daddy issues. aw, did someone not have a functioning relationship with their father as a child and now has to find that relationship in older men? aw, poor doll. price was more than okay with being called 'daddy' as long as you called him 'captain' too, especially when you were on your knees. while you got off to having an older man praise you, he got off to a pretty little thing calling him captain. you even went as far as to worship his strong physic, how easily he could bend, flip, turn and press into you.

didn't help that your pussy became a fixation for him.

he was close to fifty, his hip had a habit of locking from time to time. he had been hearing about it for years that it was time to have a family. even simon had managed to make a family, price was still hung up on young tail that he could bully his fat cock into. while most younger women were flavours of the week with no string attached. price made sure to attach every metaphorical string onto you. he had a copy of your apartment key. he added a profile for you on his streaming services. he knew on wednesdays you enjoyed pasta, but hated cooking on the weekend. he knew everything about his precious baby girl. you folded into his praise and always were eager to please. and that was what price loved about you. so imagine his shock (anger) when you told him that you thought you'd have to end your arrangement because you met a guy at your university. and when he asked why, you simply said, "i have to grow up at some point.", and that hit price in the head like an ice pick. if you wanted to grow up so badly, baby girl. there were other ways to do it.

the broken condom held weight in price's pocket while you had few drinks during your last 'date' together, he waited till you got all soft because of the wine. till you were on his side of the booth with your leg over his lap and your face pressed against his bicep. you ran your hand across his chest and giggled, "you're taking this whole break up thing so well." and he petted your head, watching you fold into him further, "like you said, you need to grow up." but you both had different definitions of 'growing up'. for you it meant getting over you daddy issues, but to him it was making him a daddy, for real. you giggled further while he gave you another glass of wine. when you tried to say no, he simply pushed it closer to you, "don't want to waste the bottle." and so easily you were in price's grip.

price took you three times that night. first was in the backseat of his expensive car. he pressed you into a corner, claimed that he needed more space for his larger body. your hazy vision was transfixed on the glimmer of his gold chain against his hairy chest in the low light. your poor body bent in such ways while he pace was relentless. he admired your unsteady gaze and your heavy breathing. he continued to move against you with such a pace that the whole car rocked. but don't worry, the parking lot was dead at that hour. you could scream your head off and no one would hear either of you. he did however put a tear in your panties. right in the crotch area. he sighed and said that he'd need to buy you something a little. while he loved the cheap pairs you owned, he thought his woman deserved something a little nicer. the future mrs. price needed to look next to perfection.

then he fingered you heavily in his bed and watched you squirm. he had to make sure every drop got deep enough before he bullied your sweet pussy once more. he loved the sight of you, still so fucked out from prior. you were in a daze in the car ride home. your breathing was heavy when he pushed the skirt of your dress up a little and teased your cunt while he drove. only to go further once you were naked on his bed. he watched your ass jiggle with each of his power thrusts while he took you from behind. he felt like a mad man while he fucked you. he was determined. he only got to where he was in his career because of grit and determination. he wouldn't back down to a challenge, especially when the stakes were so high. your pussy need to be bred, you needed to be with price. he never wanted to hear anything about another man ever again. price would hate to take drastic measures if another man tried to get in his way. if you needed a collar or a tattoo, the taste of his cum constantly your lips or leaked into your panties, price would do it all to ensure that you were his. the most effective way to ensure that was what kept him going through two rounds of sex without any pains. to get you pregnant. you had already forgotten about the broken condom, it still was in price's pocket! no use using it now, even bother giving the illusion that he wasn't breeding you.

the third time was when you tried to leave the next morning, he had you upside down on the bed. your bottom half on the mattress while all the blood rushed to your head as you tried not to fall on your head. price put bruises on top of bruises. your poor cunt was creamy with promises of the future. a future with him. the blood rush made you cum twice on his cock, adding fresh slick to his coated cock. you thought that older men were supposed to slow down with age. but it felt like price was even quicker than before. his pace brutal, almost like punishment for trying to leave him. but price didn't get to be captain because he followed one plan. he was going to ease you into married life, slowly make you the perfect woman for him. he was traditional that way. church wedding, the white dress, the vows. that would all happen, but might take a little longer. he wasn't too sure that a baby bump would fit nicely in a wedding dress. the thought of you pregnant, trapped to him made him eagerly finish in you two times. and when he got you back up onto the bed, you were fucked out. when you managed to collect your clothes and stagger out of his flat by mid-afternoon, you thought you made it in time to the pharmacy to get emergency plan b.

you prayed, and you never prayed. you promised three versions of 'god' that you'd convert to their religion if the pill worked. but three deities failed you and a month later price was in your apartment with his hands on the plastic pregnancy test. he scratched his beard and looked at you. he tried so hard to put on his best acting face. "that's a real shame, baby girl." he said in that rough voice of his that got you in trouble in the first place. he leaned back a little in your kitchen chair and placed the test back down on the table, "always wanted to be a father." he frowned a little bit, "never got the chance too. they said when i retired that the chances were low of me havin' a baby..." he looked at you. you should've known he was lying. his swimmers obviously weren't shot by how easily you got pregnant. you felt bad, almost like you were burdening him with getting pregnant. that it was your fault. you rung your hands and admitted softly, "we can try... we can make a family." and price smiled, "oh, doll." then got up to embrace you. you sniffled and cried a little in his strong chest. he held you in his strong arms. he was your protector even though his cock was straining in his jeans at the knowledge that he fundamentally changed you.

your body, your life, everything. when he released you from the hug, he got down on his knees. made a point to make a small 'huff' noise from being down on his 'bad' knee before he pushed up your t-shirt and pressed a kiss against your stomach. he said to you, "don't worry, love. daddy'll take care of ya." then gave that smile that wrapped around you like a vice. <3

[molosseraptor]

I usually avoid dog content on Instagram unless it’s things my friends post about, but now that I have a puppy the algorithm keeps feeding me puppy content and especially “dog trainer” puppy content.

I can’t handle all the misinformation and more importantly, the inappropriate expectations. It’s all for stupid reasons like comments and views and likes at the expense of the puppy. Baby puppies do not need to, nor should they, know 20 cues and tricks at 16 weeks. Baby puppies have no business being asked to make inappropriately difficult self control decisions. And baby puppies most definitely should not be expected to have the mental and physical capacity to perform adult dog behaviors at home or in public.

Baby puppies need the time and space to be babies and explore and learn about the world in a safe and low pressure way. Of course you’re going to be doing training at home and in the world, but most of that is teaching them your general rules and expectations and building solid foundations for life and sport skills. That’s already a lot to have on both of your plates.

While I and other dog people who get it look at these videos and roll our eyes, pet owners and people getting started in sports see these things and get super down on themselves for failing their puppies or not doing enough. They don’t know that this isn’t normal, appropriate, or something to aspire to. That pressure either makes people discouraged and they shut down or it makes them push their puppy way too hard and way too fast in an effort to keep up. It hurts everyone.

I didn’t want to put random people I don’t know on blast, so I made my own video of a mild version of what I’m describing.

What does this tell you about my puppy and us as a team?

While it looks like my puppy is doing complex “formal obedience” behaviors, he doesn’t actually know any of these skills or what he’s doing. All this video shows is that he knows how to follow a food lure and that he can eat cheese while walking. On my end, it shows that I know how to lure a dog into different positions. A baby puppy doesn’t have the mental or physical capacity to do a formal heel or chain multiple behaviors together and that’s normal.

If we kept this stuff up long term I might create an aversion to the signs/sport picture because the dog associates it with too much pressure. I’ll definitely create a serious lack of independence in my behaviors and difficulty fading out the food lure. And I’ll 100% create a lot of sloppy heeling on the dog’s part and poor handling on mine. Like most of these videos, “impressive” in the short term but digging a very deep hole that will get in the way of future long term success.

[star2fishmeg]

thinking about playing nurse for luke and him milking his injury so you keep taking care of him

I think about this more than I should, he'd be so cute and pouty

He's laying on the bed, eyes watching your every move as you change into your sleep clothes, that cheeky grin on his face and barely listening to anything you say.

"So, how was your day? Feel better now that slings off?" you ask, plopping yourself on the bed next to him.

"Good, feels great but still kinda hurts after practice, really achy when I raise it too much." He holds his shoulder with his right hand, "You don't think you could help take my shirt off, could you?"

Out of the pure kindness of your heart, you nod and straddle over his lap, fingers taking the hem of his t-shirt and hike it up, helping him remove his arms sleeve by sleeve until the item of clothing's thrown across the room. He's loved having you undress him, it makes his tummy all tingly and warm, especially when you press gentle kisses over his chest and shoulders, like you do after you watch his shirt land across the room. He kisses your cheek as appreciation, leaning back into the headboard while his hands firmly cup your ass and pull you closer.

"How did you manage at the rink?" you raise an eyebrow, hands sliding over his chest and fingers playing with his chain, the dainty one with your initial on it.

"Jack helped."

"And it aches that bad?"

"Yeah, think it's gonna need more kisses and a hot bath." He pouts, hands gliding up your waist and back down to your hips, watching the way your lips form into a smirk.

"My poor baby, c'mere," you press your lips to his, feeling his tongue swipe over your bottom lip and you let him in, tongues licking into each others mouths and moans drawing from his throat. You know exactly what he's doing, he's a sop when it comes to affection but it makes your heart swell at how cute he is. You pull back and he almost whines, his eyes plead for you to chase him for more.

"Lu, if it hurts this badly after one practice, you should put the sling back on, can't bear to see you in so much pain." You cup his cheeks and mimic his pout, fluttering your eyelashes at him. "I can call the medical staff-"

"No, no need, it's fine, please don't call them, I'm sorry," he plants kisses over your face in a panic, arms wrapping around you and he rolls over, trapping you beneath him as you giggle at his desperation. That's what you thought.

[itneverendshere]

omg omg i’m completely inlove with bartender reader and rafe!! what if the reader saves up her money to get rafe something special as a just because gift, something to show that shes grateful for him or maybe handmade some gift for him

it hits different 'cause it's you - r.c

pairing: rafe x pogue!reader (bartender!reader universe) word count: 2.5k

thank you so much for loving them and for you request 🫂

Between the country club, side gigs, and saving every extra penny, you’d finally done it. You had something for Rafe.

You turned the little bracelet over in your hands, the silver chain glinting in the dim light of your bedroom. It felt kind of ridiculous at first—getting him a gift. Rafe could buy whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. But that wasn’t the point. This was your first birthday together, and you wanted to give him something that came from you.

Something that showed him you were grateful for everything he’d done. Because even though you’d heard all the stories about how terrible he could be—and you’d seen flashes of it sometimes—he’d always been different with you. Softer, quieter, like everything around him softened when it was just the two of you. You didn’t need the flashy gifts or the five-star dinners, though he insisted on both.

You needed him. The Rafe you knew when it was just the two of you sitting in his truck by the beach, laughing over nothing.

A handmade bracelet, not flashy but personal. You’d saved up for the silver chain, a simple one but still nice. But the charms? Those were the important part. Tiny reminders of things you’d shared: a little compass for those late-night drives home where you’d just get lost on purpose, a wave for the time he dragged you out surfing (even though you had no idea what you were doing), and a tiny heart because, well, obvious reasons. 

You didn’t care if he thought it was dumb.

You’d spent weeks working on it between shifts, sneaking away to the little craft store on the mainland to find the perfect pieces. It wasn’t expensive, but it had you in it—your time, your memories, your effort. And you hoped that was enough.

You’d been nervous all day, counting down the minutes until you could finally give it to him. Rafe had picked you up after work, his grin lighting up the parking lot, and now the two of you were sitting on the hood of his truck, the ocean breeze cool against your skin. His birthday dinner had been perfect, of course—he'd made sure of that.

He’d insisted on this little restaurant by the beach, his favorite, and the sunset view had been unreal, like something out of a movie. But you’d been quiet.

He nudged you with his shoulder. “What’s up? You’ve been acting weird all night.”

You fumbled with the zipper of your purse, pulling out the small, wrapped box. “I… I got you something.”

Rafe’s eyebrows shot up. “For me?”

“No, for the other guy I’m sitting on a truck with,” you teased, nerves bubbling up. “Yeah, for you.”

He smirked, shaking his head. “You didn’t have to get me anything, you know.”

“I know. But I wanted to.”

Rafe carefully unwrapped the box, pulling out the bracelet. He held it up, the charms catching the light. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, and your heart sank, wondering if he thought it was cheap or lame compared to everything he was used to.

But then he looked at you, his blue eyes soft and serious in a way that made your chest tighten. “You made this?”

“Yeah,” you said quietly, twisting your hands in your lap. “It’s nothing crazy. Just, uh, little things that remind me of us.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, just turned the bracelet over in his fingers, tracing the charms. Then, without a word, he slipped it onto his wrist, the silver chain looking a little out of place next to his expensive watch. 

“You can wear as a keychain if you want— or, I dunno, maybe keep it somewhere. You don’t have to wear it,” you added quickly, the words tumbling out in a rush before you could stop them.

You felt stupid. Of course he wasn’t going to wear it, not with all his designer clothes and luxury watches.

But Rafe didn’t even flinch. He glanced down at his wrist, then back at you, “I want to wear it.”

You blinked. “You don’t have to just because I gave it to you.”

“Course I do.”

Your cheeks felt warm, and you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, not sure what to say next.

Rafe just grinned, like he could read your mind or something.

“What?” he asked, nudging you again with his shoulder. “You think I wouldn’t like it?”

“I mean…You wear designer everything. This is… it’s kinda cheap compared to that.”

He gave a small laugh, shaking his head. “Cheap doesn’t mean it’s not special. You made it, and that’s what I care about.” He paused, then added softly, “It’s from you. That’s what matters.”

Your heart did this little flip in your chest, and you had to bite back the stupid smile spreading across your face. “You’re serious?”

“Of course I’m serious. This is us.” He held up his wrist, the bracelet catching the fading light from the sunset. “Every charm means something, right?”

“Yeah,” you breathed, suddenly feeling shy. “I just… I didn’t want you to feel like I couldn’t give you something better.”

He turned fully toward you, his hands gently cupping your face.

“Better? Baby, no. This is perfect. No one’s ever given me something like this before.” He kissed your forehead, and you felt yourself melt a little bit. “I don’t need ‘better’ or more expensive shit. I’ve got enough of that. I need this.”

You leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his body, the steady rise and fall of his chest under your cheek. It was hard to wrap your head around the fact that someone like Rafe—who could literally have anything—wanted something as simple as a handmade bracelet. But he did. And it made your heart ache in the best way.

“I’m glad you like it,” you whispered, resting your hand on his chest.

“I don’t just like it. I love it,” he said, his voice soft. Then, as if he could feel how much this moment meant to you, he added, “And I love you.”

That did it. 

Your stomach fluttered, and you couldn’t help but smile, that big, stupid, giddy smile you only got when you were with him. “I love you too,” you whispered, like you were saying it for the first time all over again.

Rafe kissed you, slow and sweet, and it felt like time had stopped for a moment—just you, him, and the sound of the ocean in the background.

When he pulled back, he glanced down at the bracelet on his wrist again and smiled. “I’m never takin’ this off, you know.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Okay, let’s not get crazy.”

But he just smirked and kissed the top of your head. “No, I mean it. This? It’s a part of us now.”

“Not even when you shower?”

You could feel his shit-eating grin against your temple, “You thinkin’ about me showering?”

You rolled your eyes, but your cheeks burned as you tried to keep a straight face. "Shut up," you muttered.

“That’s not what you were sayin’—”

“Okayyyy,” You interrupted pushing his chest away, “We get it.”

You turned your face away, hiding your grin as he laughed, that deep, rumbling sound that always made your heart skip a beat. Being with Rafe was like that—playful and intense all at once, always keeping you on your toes but making you feel safe in a way you hadn’t expected.

“You’re ridiculous,” you said, shaking your head as you tried to sound exasperated, though the smile on your face gave you away.

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his arm wrapping around you tighter. For a moment, the two of you just sat there in comfortable silence, the waves crashing softly in the background, the air cool but not cold. Everything felt easy in moments like this. Just you and him.

“I’m serious though,” Rafe said, his voice quieter now, more thoughtful. “No one’s ever done anythin’ like this for me before. You don’t even know how much it means.”

His fingers absentmindedly traced the bracelet again, like he still couldn’t believe it was his.

Your heart swelled a little, knowing that something as simple as a handmade gift could mean so much to someone like him. Rafe had everything—money, cars, houses. But maybe, in some weird way, he needed something that couldn’t be bought. Something that came from you.

“I’m glad,” you whispered, feeling your throat tighten with emotion. “I just… I wanted you to know that I see you, you know? Not just all the surface stuff.”

Rafe was quiet for a moment, his hand finding yours and giving it a squeeze. “You do. You really do.”

You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his in the dim light. And in that moment, it hit you how much he’d become a part of your life, how much he’d broken down those walls you didn’t even know you’d put up.

“I’m not taking it off,” he repeated, more serious this time, like he needed you to believe it.

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Okay, Rafe. Whatever you say.”

The bracelet, the moment, this night—it was more than just a gift.

“You’re still givin’ me birthday sex, right?”

You groaned, but you couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out, “Seriously? I pour my heart out, and this is where you go?”

He grinned that mischievous, cocky grin of his—the one that made your stomach flip even when you pretended to be annoyed.

“What? I’m just saying, it is my birthday, after all.” His voice dropped, teasing, playful, the way it always got when he was trying to push your buttons.

You shoved his shoulder, pretending to be all serious, but he just caught your wrist, pulling you closer until your forehead rested against his.

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his lips brushing yours, “But you love me anyway.”

You smiled, your heart doing that stupid flutter thing again. “Unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?” he raised an eyebrow, looking all mock offended, but there was that softness in his eyes again—the one he only ever let you see.

You kissed him before he could say anything else, slow and sweet, letting the teasing fall away for just a second.

And when you pulled back, you whispered, “Of course I love you. Birthday sex or not.”

Rafe chuckled, his hands slipping down to your ass, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

You tried to glare, but the way his thumb was tracing circles on your lower back made it hard to keep up the act. “I don’t have to admit anything.” You leaned in close, your lips brushing his ear. “But maybe... if you’re lucky..”

Rafe’s breath hitched just a little, and it sent a thrill down your spine. You loved this—having him wrapped around your finger. He always lost it when you played the game right back.

"Now who's teasing’?" he murmured, his lips grazing your neck, leaving little kisses that made it hard to keep your thoughts straight.

"You started it," you whispered back, your fingers finding the edge of his collar, tugging him closer until there was barely any space left between you.

Your legs ended up draped over his, and you could feel his hands on your thighs, warm and familiar, as you settled deeper into his lap. His lips traced your jaw, slow and deliberate, like he was savoring every second of this, and your head tilted back instinctively, giving him more room.

God, he knew exactly how to make you melt without even trying.

Rafe’s hands slid down to your hips, his fingers digging into your skin. He always knew how to make you feel like you were the only thing that mattered. “You’re gonna drive me insane,” he muttered, his lips brushing yours but not quite kissing you yet. 

You leaned into him, your hands sliding up to rest on his chest as he finally kissed you. His hand came up to hold the side of your face, his thumb brushing your cheek in that gentle way that made you flutter. He tilted his head slightly, angling the kiss, like he was savoring every second he had you this close. You kissed him back just as slowly, letting yourself get lost in it. 

The kiss was deliberate, slow, like he wanted to memorize the way your lips moved against his, the taste of you, the quiet sighs you couldn’t hold back. His hand slid to the back of your neck, pulling you just a little closer, deepening the kiss as his other hand traced gentle circles along your thigh.

“Y’know I’m crazy about you, right?” he murmured against your lips.

You nodded, your heart doing that annoying thing again. “Yeah. Happy birthday, baby.”

He pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours, his fingers still tracing lazy circles on your leg.

Then, in the same casual tone he used when asking about what to eat for dinner, he said, “You know, you should make the same bracelets for our kids when we have them.”

Your brain screeched to a stop.

Wait, what?

You blinked up at him, your heart skipping a beat for a completely different reason now. “I’m sorry, what?”

He grinned like he didn’t just casually drop the most insane statement ever. “I’m serious. Like, one day when we have kids—you should make them little bracelets like this. It'll be a thing.”

You stared at him, trying to wrap your head around what he just said. “Rafe, we’ve been together, what… less than a year? And you’re already talking about kids?”

He shrugged, completely unfazed by the shock on your face. “Yeah, why not? I can see it, y’know? You, me, little mini-us running around—driving us crazy. It’d be fun.”

You blinked again, your mind still catching up.

Kids? Your kids? Together? You tried to picture it for a second—little versions of Rafe, with his mischievous ways and messy hair, running around. 

“Wait, hold up—you want kids with me?”

 “Yeah.”

“Plural?”

He shrugged like it was no big deal. “Yeah. A few. Maybe more.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “A few? Oh my God, you’re insane.”

He smirked, looking way too pleased with himself.

“What, you can’t picture it? I bet they’d have your eyes. Or my attitude. Definitely my attitude.”

“Great, that’s exactly what the world needs.”

He chuckled, pulling you closer, “Not, like, tomorrow. But one day. You’d be a great mom, don’t act like you haven’t thought about it.”

You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at your lips. “Okay, maybe once. Can we just get through your birthday first?”

“Fine, fine. But just so you know, when the time comes, you’re making all of them little bracelets.”

You snorted, shaking your head. “I’ll consider it... if they don’t take after you too much.”

“Oh, they will. And you’re gonna love every second of it.”

[megalony]

Baby, Be Mine

Hello, as promised, here is my newest Dark! Buck request, thank you for the lovely request anon I had so much fun with this I loved writing it.

And I'm hoping to do a follow-up soon.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Summary: Evan and (Y/n) have a friends with benefits situation, but Evan wants more. And he knows just how to get it. When she becomes pregnant, Evan becomes possessive.

Enjoy.

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With his arms folded over his chest, Evan tilted his upper body backwards until he was propped up against the fire truck behind him. His fingers began to tap against his arms and his head pressed back against the truck which felt cold and comforting against his burning skin.

He crossed one leg over the other, tapping the heel of his boot against the floor in a typical drumbeat that regulated his system and stopped him from jittering too badly.

A candid smile started to play on his lips and a sparkle crossed over his pupils when he set his sights on the scene playing out ahead of him near the locker room.

(Y/n).

There she was, his girl, knelt down in front of a group of school kids who had come down on a trip to see the station and see how the emergency services worked. There was Evan's girl, chatting to the kids like she had all the time in the world for each and every one of them, talking to them and making them feel like their questions mattered to her.

The smile on her face was one that had Evan's heart soaring in his chest. Her smile made her look so motherly, so kind and affectionate and like the sweetest girl in the world.

Evan loved the way her smile reached her eyes and how she let one of the kids take her hand and begin swinging it between them like a chain.

He loved how all the children levitated to her and wanted to be around her and how she gave them the time of day.

She looked so sweet and innocent talking to the kids.

She looked like a mother. Evan could envision her being a mother, he could see her with a newborn, he could see all of that affection within her pouring out into caring for a child. He could see himself starting a family with her.

What he'd had with Taylor in the past had been fleeting. It had been a whirlwind. A quick, one sided romance that left Evan feeling deflated and broken and like no part of him or his feelings really mattered.

(Y/n) was different. She was everything that was bright and enthusiastic and loving and caring, and Evan loved being with her. He loved the nights where they would meet up or when she would come round to his place and spend the night. He could see them moving in together, having kids together, going on family holidays and bringing her to the station as his partner. He could see himself bringing (Y/n) to all the station events and introducing her as his girl and showing off the family they could have together.

And Evan knew what they had was what he wanted. He knew if given time, they would get into a proper relationship rather than just hooking up together. He knew they would end up together and he could have what everyone else had. A family. A loving partner.

He could be happy. With (Y/n).

His eyes lit up as he watched one of the kids take (Y/n)'s hand and shyly ask her a question. And when (Y/n) shuffled closer to the little girl and started to explain whatever she had asked, Evan's heart could of burst in his chest right then and there.

He couldn't believe how sweet she was. (Y/n) wasn't technically one of them, a firefighter, Hell, she hadn't even started out as an intern here. She had volunteered to help Bobby with audits and paperwork and do any odd jobs he needed. She was volunteering to help out because she enjoyed the atmosphere and got along well with the team, and she wanted to be helpful. It also gave her credit at college where she was studying to become a teacher.

After a few weeks, Bobby took her on as a sort of intern, almost a receptionist role because (Y/n) was such a good help. It meant Bobby had more time to be on the floor and the job with his team rather than being swamped in paperwork, and (Y/n) loved to help.

She worked here twice a week, just for a few hours doing the audits, admin and filing paperwork.

The perfect job for the perfect girl.

His eyes followed her as she gently ushered the kids back towards their teacher who looked like it was time to go back to the school.

Once (Y/n) was up to her feet, leaning against a pillar as she waved goodbye to the kids, Evan took it as his chance.

Pushing himself off the truck, he leaned around and looked for the clipboard that was stashed away in one of the compartments. He knew where it was because he was the one who always took the liberty of checking the inventory and stocking the truck and the ambulance up.

He tucked it safely beneath his arm, cast his eyes around the station and then slowly walked towards (Y/n).

A glimmer lit up his eyes when she turned and headed down the small corridor in between the locker room and the little laundry room on the left. She was aiming for Bobby's office by the looks of it, finishing up the paperwork audits, Evan would guess.

His lips curved into a devilish grin and he quickened his steps, staying light on his feet so she wouldn't hear his approach.

(Y/n)'s body jerked forward and a gasp erupted from her lips when a pair of strong arms bound themselves around her waist. She could feel a scream clawing at the back of her throat until a familiar pair of lips attached to the side of her neck like a vampire.

She twisted her head to the right to look at that familiar crop of sandy hair and a smile formed on her lips, despite the way her heart was bashing against her ribs like a jackhammer.

"Evan. What are you-" She gasped against his mouth when he cut her off mid-sentence.

She felt his hands roaming to her hips and he easily spun her around so she was facing him instead of the corridor. Her hands moved to his broad shoulders to steady herself so she didn't stumble and she felt her knees going weak when Evan quietly groaned into her mouth.

What had gotten into him?

He'd never done this before. He'd never pounced on her for a kiss at the station, or anywhere else for that matter.

The pair of them had had a few hook ups over the last few weeks. It started off as just a one night thing, after drinks with the team at a bar and getting a little too familiar with each other in the taxi they shared. But then it happened again. And again.

She liked Evan. (Y/n) really liked him, but she wasn't sure about getting into a relationship with him. (Y/n) was splitting her time between college and working here at the station. And Evan had only just broken things off with Taylor and she had done a bit of damage to his mind and self-esteem. (Y/n) thought it would be easier to be friends, at least for now, but that was hard when Evan wormed around her. Their friendship had morphed into friends with benefits.

When he pulled back to suck in a breath, he pressed his temple down against hers and (Y/n) swore she could see something pooling in those dark pupils that had all but taken over the expanse of his iris.

She found herself getting lost in trying to decipher that look, so much so that she didn't realise Evan was walking her back until her back hit a wall with a thud.

Evan moved expertly as if he had done this before or in the very least, already had a plan in his mind of what he wanted to do.

His left hand reached out beside them and opened the door to the inventory room and with little effort, he nudged (Y/n) inside and followed suit. His boot gave the door a little nudge to close it behind them and the automatic light flashed overhead. Giving them minimal light in the small space that was barely the size of a small box bedroom.

"Nice dress." He murmured against the corner of her mouth, his voice low and gritty and it made (Y/n) shiver against him.

"Thank you," She murmured softly, tilting her head back so she could look around and see what room he had guided them into. Why had he brought her in here? What was he up to? What was going through that head of his to cause such a loving yet almost devilish smirk to flash over his lips.

She gently brushed her thumb across his jaw, swiping away a mark of dust that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. But her eyes widened and she held her breath when he turned them around so he could walk her back so she was once again backed up against the wall. And he dumped the clipboard from under his arm onto one of the shelves, to be forgotten immediately.

Her chest tightened and her eyes went wide in their sockets, quickly looking around the room as if she thought anyone else could be hiding in here or indeed fit in this poxy room with the two of them. She could barely catch a proper breath with the adrenaline pooling in her stomach when she felt Evan's hands scrunch up the hem of her dress. Which he promptly lifted up until it bunched around her hips, giving himself an eyeful of her thighs and her underwear.

"Evan!" She swatted her hand down on his shoulder, hissing his name before she tried to discourage him and drop his hands, but he only grinned wider in response.

His thumb traced up and down her skin for a few moments and (Y/n) tried to wriggle in his arms, knowing she needed to stop because they were at work. But she was finding it hard to push him away and break out of his embrace. Until he ducked down and attached his lips to the side of her neck.

"Evan, if someone walks in-"

"No one's gonna walk in. We're the only ones who do inventory, sweetheart."

That didn't even deserve an answer. He was baiting her to distract her from what he was doing so he could carry on. And he was right. (Y/n) did inventory audits for Bobby and Evan did the stock levels in the trucks and the ambulance. Hardly anyone else bothered to come in here.

A shudder crawled along (Y/n)'s spine when Evan sank his teeth down into her neck and she found the strength to grab his shoulders and try to push him back. She couldn't risk making a sound. She would be mortified if anyone walked in and caught them. She wouldn't ever dare show her face in the station again.

She had no doubt there were countless others who had copped off in various areas of the station, some people were just like that. But (Y/n) didn't put herself in that category, and she wouldn't have thought Evan would have done this either.

They had never so much as stolen a kiss in the station because they weren't technically in a relationship. They were friends with the odd added benefit every now and then.

This was improper. They shouldn't be doing this; Evan shouldn't be doing this. (Y/n) had to be the level-headed one and put a stop to it.

(Y/n) bit her lip to smother the gasp she felt crawling up her throat when Evan swiftly darted his hand down and hooked a finger in the elastic of her underwear.

All her effort went into her hands and she grasped his wrist, yanking his hand away while she tried to nudge him back.

"We can't."

He leaned his chest down into hers, sandwiching her against him and the wall and she could feel his lips curving into a grin when he stole a hot, feverish kiss from her lips.

"Evan," The way she groaned his name made his fingers clutch her hips again like they were his lifeline and he pressed down on her until she had to concentrate on taking each breath against his lips.

"You look beautiful."

(Y/n) wasn't sure whether he was trying to change the subject or if he was just singing her praises so she wouldn't object. Either way, she could feel herself starting to give in.

Evan could feel himself becoming desperate to elaborate, to say every little thought rushing around inside his head at one hundred miles an hour. He wanted to tell her she looked like a natural when she was pandering to that class of school kids. He wanted to say she looked like she was a mother already, she had the instincts and the caring nature and she was training to be a teacher, after all.

He wanted to tell her she'd look even better if she were pregnant.

He wanted to say that he'd love nothing more than for (Y/n) to be pregnant; for him to get her pregnant.

Evan knew without a doubt if that happened, (Y/n) would get into a relationship with him. She'd stop worrying, stop hesitating when he asked her, she'd be with him and they would be a proper family. Better than the one Evan had growing up. Better than the people he knew who broke apart and left their kids with broken homes.

They would be a proper family.

"You're insatiable," She gasped desperately against his lips, pushing his shoulders but he felt like he was made of stone, far too heavy for her to push back no matter how hard she tried.

A low chuckle left his lips and he drank in every little sound (Y/n) made when he pushed into her again and hiked her dress up even higher, giving himself a better view.

"Hm. And I bet you've missed me." He panted each word against her lips, barely parting so (Y/n) could feel the way his lips moved against hers and she swallowed each word, gulping for the air he'd stolen.

Her eyes darted down to stare at his collar bone instead of his eyes as he started to make a trail down her jaw and along her neck instead.

Evan kissed his way down her skin, between and across her cleavage which caused her to shiver against him.

"I want you."

He wanted her in every sense of the word, and he could already feel the plan formulating in his mind. He could see how this would play out and how things were going to go the way they should, soon.

Things would get better from here on out.

***

A sparkling grin lit up Evan's face when he opened the apartment door to be faced with the girl he hadn't been able to get out of his head.

He leaned his hip against the door and stuffed his free hand into his pocket. He couldn't stop himself from raking his eyes up and down (Y/n)'s frame, taking in her appearance. She looked as lovely as ever.

A lot of the time when Evan saw her, especially when they were at the station, (Y/n) often wore vest tops and high-waisted jeans. But more recently, like when they hooked up at the station a few weeks ago, she had been wearing dresses, like the one she wore today.

It was a dusty cream dress with blue hearts dotted all around, no frills at the bottom and the material was thin and loose. But what Evan loved about it was the fact that it was fastened up with string into a neat bow on her right hip. All it would take was for Evan to pull that string loose and the material would fall apart and hang off her shoulders like a cardigan.

Her hair was done up with just a few small, loose tendrils framing her face and Evan felt a sudden urge to knot his fingers into her woven hair.

"Hi." His lips perked up into a grin and he took a step back to motion for (Y/n) to come in.

"Hi Evan."

He hadn't been expecting her today. She never said she was coming round.

Evan had been quite thrilled at the station to find that all he had to do was brush up behind (Y/n) and she would turn into a shivering mess. She would step away from him and give him a stern look to warn him away. Their little tryst in the inventory room had been fun, but (Y/n) wasn't risking it happening again, not at work. She was too nervous about the thought of someone catching them in the act.

His tongue darted out and distorted his smile as he ran his tongue along his lower lip and tilted his head to one side. His eyes following (Y/n) as she brushed against his chest when she passed him to enter the apartment.

"What can I do for you, sweetheart?" Evan followed (Y/n)'s lead as she walked inside and when she pointed towards the living room, he nodded.

Even though she had been here a few times before, she was still nervous to walk around without asking permission.

She started to knot her hands together and dig her nails into the back of her hands as she aimed for the sofa. (Y/n) sat down and did her best to hold her breath to try in vain to control her breathing and stop herself from going into a panic attack.

She had rehearsed this conversation a thousand times in her head. Gone over what she wanted to say, how best to word it, trying to prepare for every possible reaction she could get.

When she sat down, she dragged the hem of her dress down towards her knees and began smoothing her hands up and down her knees. Her eyes followed Evan as he sat down next to her on the sofa. He sat close enough that their thighs were touching and it sent jolts of electricity running through (Y/n)'s nerves, all the way up to her heart that was going ten to the dozen.

"I- I need to talk to you, about something." (Y/n) did her best to smile and control her expression, but she truly had no idea what reaction she was going to get from Evan and it was making her feel sick.

If he had a bad reaction, if he got angry- (Y/n) had never seen him be anything close to angry, only slightly annoyed- she wouldn't know how to respond. If he started to blame her or shout or argue, (Y/n) feared she would break completely. But she couldn't stop thinking that he would hate what she had to tell him.

"Okay… what's going on?" His tone was soft and that dazzling smile was still playing on his lips.

When (Y/n) looked up at him, she realised he had the beginning of stubble gracing his face. It was strangely satisfying to see Evan with stubble rather than a clean shaven face. It made him look rugged and not so boyish, he looked older, more mature like this.

(Y/n) realised she must have been silent for longer than expected because she was brought out of her thoughts by Evan's hand softly yet firmly curling over her own.

"Everything okay?"

She found comfort in his large hand enveloping hers and she moved her free hand to grip his hand like they were playing a strange game of Jenga. Her thumb glided across the back of his hand and she couldn't quite meet his gaze, so her eyes settled on his lips that were especially red like fresh strawberries.

"Evan, I… I'm pregnant."

There. She'd said it. She'd said the words that had been rolling around in her mind for the last three days since she found out. The words that had kept her up last night into the early hours of the morning, wondering how Evan would react and what he would want to do.

Part of her expected him to retract his hand and shuffle away from her like she had some kind of deadly disease.

Instead, his hand tightened around hers and he inched closer until they were almost hip to hip, nearly merging into one. (Y/n) finally lifted her gaze from his lips to his eyes that were wide and deep and the purest shade of blue she had ever seen.

"Really?" Evan was relieved to find his voice filled with shock and an air of surprise.

Not that he was truly surprised, though.

This had been his wish. This is what he had been hoping for, this was the course he wanted their lives to lead. He wanted to entwine them together and bring them closer together. Having a baby meant they would be a family, it meant (Y/n) would always be in his life and more to the point, this meant that they could be in a relationship.

All the times Evan had asked her and (Y/n) said no, she wasn't sure, she wasn't ready, it was a big commitment. Well, there was no bigger commitment than having a baby together and she could hardly turn Evan down now. They were a perfect match, they were meant for one another.

And Evan's ploy had worked. She was pregnant, just like he knew she would be sooner or later.

"Hm," (Y/n) nodded and gave his hand a squeeze. "I don't know what to do." She could feel tears building up behind her eyes, but she pushed them away. She didn't want to cry. Not yet. Not until they had talked and she knew whether she had cause to panic.

"What to do?" Evan reiterated quietly while he sank back into the sofa and brought one leg up to curl beneath him on the sofa.

"I don't know if I'm ready for a baby, I- Evan I'm still in college, I have another year left. And we're not exactly together, I couldn't raise a baby on my own and juggle my work or- or tie you down."

There was so much to think about. Too much, really.

(Y/n) was still training to become a teacher for preschool children, she had another year left before she would be qualified to find a permanent position. She was supposed to do work experience this last year of college, that wouldn't be ideal if she was pregnant.

And she was still young. Evan was older than her. He was already thirty and (Y/n) was closer to eighteen than she was to twenty five. A baby was one of the biggest commitments to make in life and as much as (Y/n) adored children and wanted many in the future, she wasn't sure if she could do this right now.

She had the idea in her head of how her life should go. Get a teaching job, become settled, then get into a stable relationship, move in together and then think about kids and possibly marriage. This was not the path she had set out for herself.

"Who says you can't finish college and have a baby?" His response made (Y/n) look at him quizzically.

"You- you want the baby?"

"Of course." He dragged his free hand through his curls, brushing them back and taming them in the process of trying to calm himself down and not seem too eager.

He didn't exactly want to give away the fact that he had instagated this, that this was what he had been planning and hoping for. But he would never want (Y/n) to think for a moment that he would want her to get rid of this baby. Their baby. He wanted (Y/n). He wanted a family with her, and now it was finally happening and Evan was all too eager for this to happen quickly.

"I've always wanted kids, and you already know I've fallen hard for you." His words made (Y/n) blush and she dipped her head down to look at their entwined hands. "I wouldn't expect you to do this alone. We've got something, a connection, and I think we could try a relationship, do this properly."

"Really?" (Y/n)'s head was swimming so much she feared she might just pass out.

This wasn't the reaction she had been expecting. She didn't think Evan would shout or truly get angry with her, but she had worried he wouldn't be pleased about this.

They weren't in a relationship, they didn't live together, and they hadn't planned this. (Y/n) thought Evan would think a baby would tie him down and tie him to her and that he wouldn't want that. She didn't think he would be so ready and willing to do this.

Her eyes lifted to meet his and she felt her stomach sparking with adrenaline when his hand left her thigh to cup her cheek. And when he leaned his temple against hers, (Y/n) could feel her nerves setting alight.

"You're amazing with kids, I know you'll be a great mum. And nothing would stop you from finishing your last year at college. We'd just have to work out the timing, at the worst you'd graduate a month or two later than expected. We're both grown ups, we can do this."

His words brought a sense of comfort washing over (Y/n) and she nodded before she let Evan steal her breath away when he kissed her. She felt herself turning to jelly when his chest leaned against hers and he practically pushed her down on the sofa until her back was propped up against the arm rest. And Evan was hovering over her, consuming her, lighting up and smothering every one of her senses.

It didn't matter to Evan that (Y/n) was younger than him, it didn't mean they were at different places in their lives. She was learning to be a teacher, she was committed and had roots here, not like Evan at her age when he was moving from state to state, trying to find himself and find his calling. And he was ready to settle down now, with her and only her.

The age difference between them wasn't ludicris and it wasn't a problem, if anything, Evan liked the fact that she was younger.

In his mind, she was going to be the perfect young mum.

"You'd really do this with me? Be with me, have this baby?" (Y/n) spoke in hushed whispers against his lips while she parted her legs to the sides to let Evan rest between her thighs. Since he was practically lying on top of her, one hand still cupping her cheek and the other now curled around her hip while he balanced his weight on his knees so he didn't crush her beneath him.

"Sweetheart, I want this, I want you."

His words were affirming, reassuring and left no room for doubt. He wouldn't have her doubting his commitment to her or the baby. And he didn't want (Y/n) to think that she had to get rid of the baby either. This was a part of them, this was what they wanted. It wouldn't ruin her life or disrupt her career, it would just mean that she was settled down by the time she became a qualified teacher.

Evan detached his lips from hers so he could graze along the side of her neck instead. Baring his teeth just enough to scratch the surface of her skin and leave the slightest mark.

He knew she had loved it last time he left a trace of hickeys along the side of her neck and down towards her cleavage. He had seen the way she bit her lip and adverted her gaze when she had to use make up to cover the marks he left. Showing everyone she'd had a lot of fun with him.

Only now it would mean that she belonged to him.

He dragged his tongue against the slight scratch he'd created against her neck and nudged his nose along the tip of her jaw before he spoke in hushed tones against her throat. "Move in with me."

"What?"

(Y/n) tangled her hand in the short hairs at the back of his head, scraping her nails against his scalp in the process. She tried to tilt her head down but she couldn't quite move her head with Evan tucked into her neck like this.

Had she heard that right? Was he really asking her this? Would it be too soon- was she really considering this?

"Then you're not doing this alone. My place is bigger than yours, and it makes sense, doesn't it? Then I can be here for everything with you, the appointments, the kicks, and I can look after you."

A jolt ran through (Y/n) when she felt Evan's hand glide along her hip to trace the pad of his fingers across her stomach which pulled in at the ticklish feeling. It was far too early for any of that, but it wouldn't stop either of them from thinking what it would be like in a few months when (Y/n) would start to show and they would feel the baby moving.

"When they're here it makes sense to have you both here with me, so I can do my part." His words were spoken in hushed tones against the hollow expanse of (Y/n)'s throat, and he knew his actions were causing her breathing to quicken beneath him.

It did make sense. (Y/n) could see the upside to this. If she moved in with Evan, they could try and make this a proper relationship, they could see if they could make things work and provide a stable home for this baby. It meant they could prepare for the baby together, get things ready when the time was nearer. And Evan could indeed experience this with her.

And he was right, after the baby was born it wouldn't be a good idea to be living separately if Evan was going to help take care of the baby and do his role as a father. Plus, if they made this work together and their relationship worked out, it would only be logical that they moved in together.

(Y/n) was already pregnant so moving in together wasn't that much of a large jump to make in the scale of relationships.

(Y/n) leaned her cheek on top of Evan's head, nuzzling her skin into his curls while she wormed her arms around his shoulders to hug him. "I- I was so worried, that you wouldn't be happy."

"Oh sweetheart," He lifted his head from her neck to hover over her again while he shimmied round and laid out on his front between her thighs. "You've no idea how buzzing I am right now."

He kissed her once, twice, and then again until (Y/n) was gasping for breath and her head was swimming.

This is the news he had been praying for, this is what he had been begging to happen and now it was finally here. Everything was going to go his way, how could Evan he anything but happy?

***

"You okay, sweetheart?" Evan tilted his head to one side and moved both hands to grip his hips when he stood in the doorway to Bobby's office.

(Y/n) was knelt down on the floor, her head leant up against the desk, a few different piles of paper scattered around her and a faraway look in her eyes. Her hands were resting on her lap, but Evan could see she was slightly trembling as if the aircon was on and the room was brisk and cold.

He didn't like the frown that pulled at her lips when she flopped her head back so she could squint up at him.

He rolled his lips together and headed into the room before squatting down beside her. His knees parted out to the sides and his hands clasped together between his legs while he raised a brow and waited silently to find out if anything was wrong.

"I- I just feel a bit sick, I'm okay." (Y/n) did her best to force a smile onto her face, but she knew Evan saw right through it. Her body shuddered when his hand reached up to press beneath her chin and he tilted her head back when she was about to drop her head down.

"You don't look okay to me."

The unspoken look that transgressed between their eyes told Evan that they both knew the cause of this. Morning sickness. Evan had gotten up with her at five this morning when she felt unwell and subsequently stumbled to the bathroom to throw up. He told her to stay home, but she seemed to of been feeling a bit better. Obviously the sickness feeling had come back with vengeance again.

"Go home." Evan pecked her temple and brushed his thumb along her chin, but he didn't like the way (Y/n) sighed and shook her head.

"It's the end of the month, every audit needs checking, submitting and filing. Besides, I've not been here an hour yet."

(Y/n) couldn't just pack up and go home. She only came into the station three hours a day, twice a week. She couldn't go home when every audit needed grouping together, checking then she would have to file them away. (Y/n) didn't like to fall behind on her work in any aspect and she wanted this done so she wouldn't have so much to do when she came back in a few days.

She gently pulled her head from Evan's hand and leaned forward to smother her face into his chest instead. She smiled against his shirt when she felt his fingers weave into her hair and his lips mesh against the top of her head.

"So do the audits at home."

"Hm?"

"Baby, Bobby won't care whether you organise and sort them out here or back at our place. Do them at home, and I'll bring them back in with me tomorrow all organised for Bobby. Besides, you're not well, may as well rest at home than worry here."

She hadn't thought of that. She hadn't thought that Bobby would let her take the paperwork home with her, she just assumed she would have to do them here. But Bobby did trust her, and she lived with Evan now, so it wasn't as if she would take them or share them with anyone. Bobby trusted them both and if Evan asked, he would gladly agree.

"Gather everything you need and I'll go clear it with Bobby."

Evan went to pull back, but he grinned when (Y/n) held onto his biceps and looked up at him through her lashes. Wordlessly, he held onto her hips and reeled her up to her feet. She swayed a little until she regained her balance and Evan kept tight hold of her and wormed one hand around to touch the base of her stomach.

It was still early days yet, early enough that (Y/n) could still wear her jeans and button them up over her stomach. And she had worn them today, tucking her vest into the hem so it covered the tiny, almost unnoticable change to her stomach. Evan had noticed the change already, how her stomach was firmer and starting to shift in shape and he couldn't wait for her to start showing properly.

They had just told the team since (Y/n) was now officially moved in with Evan, and everyone was over the moon for them.

"Are you sure?" (Y/n) murmured into his chest while she moved one hand to hold his wrist where his hand was tucked safely against her stomach.

"Yeah, I'll smooth it over with Bobby. Gotta look after you, eh?"

Running a hand through her damp hair, (Y/n) trudged from the bathroom towards the kitchen, her steps sluggish and bare feet tickling as they glided along the cold floor.

She managed a smile when she noticed Evan mulling about in the kitchen. She hadn't heard him come home while she had been in the shower. She walked up behind him, brushing her fingers across his lower back while she pressed a kiss against his bicep.

"Hi baby." Evan turned round, leaving the coffee cup on the counter behind him so he could reach out for (Y/n). She aimed for the fridge, but he didn't let her get far past him. Both his arms wormed around her waist and he reeled her back into his chest so he could tuck his face down against her neck and shoulder.

(Y/n) leaned her head back on his shoulder, grinning when she felt his hands splay out along her small bump.

"Lookin' good," He murmured into her neck while his thumb glided up and down her stomach. She was only in a pair of shorts and her bra. She'd just taken a shower and needed to find a dress before she got ready for her job at the station.

"Hm, hate to burst your bubble but I'll have to get dressed or I'll be late." (Y/n) cupped his cheek and tilted his head up so she could press a wet kiss to his lips.

"Late?" He murmured against her lips, taking another kiss and pulling her lower lip between his teeth until he could feel her groaning into his mouth. His hands squeezed her against him and he leaned over her like he was trying to merge them into one being.

(Y/n) knew what he was doing. He was worming himself around her, buttering her up because he wanted to be attached to her all the time. But (Y/n) couldn't be late for work.

"Work? The new supplies won't log themselves, you know." (Y/n) gave him one lasting, deep kiss before she broke out of his arms and moved to grab a drink from the fridge.

A smile wormed onto her lips when she felt Evan following after her like a shadow. But her eyes cast to the right when she looked at the dining table. The smile started to fade from her face and she stopped in her aim for the bedroom to trail her fingers across the stack of papers on the table.

"I brought the files home for you." Evan's voice was cool and collected and he peppered a kiss to her neck and glided his hand along the back of her thigh and up around her bum.

When she didn't say anything, Evan turned and moved back towards the fridge, seeing as (Y/n) didn't look like she was going to rush to get ready anymore. He found the milk and set about making a coffee. He'd just done a night shift into the morning and he needed coffee to keep himself awake or he'd be asleep in no time.

"Babe… why did you bring them home? Now I've gotta take them all back." (Y/n) dragged her thumb along the edges of the files, checking which ones he had brought back with him.

All the ones she would have gone through at the station. He knew her organisation skills well. But now (Y/n) would have to traipse them all back to the station with her.

"So you can audit them?" Evan grinned and shrugged as if it was obvious and he grabbed his mug and walked over to her. "I'll take them back when I go on shift in two days, Bobby won't mind."

(Y/n) turned around, leaning her hips back against the table while she folded her arms over her bump.

"I'll take them back, I'm going in today."

"Why, when you can just work from here?" The way Evan slouched back against the counter and crossed one leg over the other made (Y/n) feel a bit uneasy.

They were talking at cross purposes. The files belonged at the station. The only reason she had been auditing and sorting them here was because she hadn't been well. Morning sickness had been a killer, it still was, but at least (Y/n) had the energy to get out of bed and actually go out the flat now. She wanted to get back into routine, which meant going back to the station rather than having everything brought home to her.

And she could get back to college work tomorrow too. She had been doing her work from home for college, which had been a nice change. It was less stressful at home, but (Y/n) was more inclined to do the work when she was in class, and it was far easier to learn when listening to the teacher than reading hundreds of powerpoints.

"Because I feel better, Bobby hired me to work, not to be here carting files to and from the station." It was a lot of faffing about to keep moving all the files between home and the station, and it made (Y/n) feel like a liability. She wasn't employed to do things from home, she was supposed to be there in person sorting out.

Her head tilted back and she kept her arms crossed when Evan moved over to her. She watched him set his drink down on the table but when he clamped his hands down on her hips, there was something tight and almost fierce in his hold.

"Yeah, but you're pregnant now, and it's a lot to juggle college and the paperwork for the station. You've not been stressed while you've been working from home, so I think you should carry on and stay home."

A frown set into (Y/n)'s features as she stared up at Evan, something akin to confusion and a hint of annoyance burning in her eyes.

Being pregnant wouldn't stop her from doing her job effectively. She could still work while she was in the early stages, it would be when she was seven or eight months that she would need to think about taking things easy. And it was only paperwork, the worst (Y/n) got was headaches or an unease when she worked too much and ate too little, due to morning sickness. It wasn't exhausting work.

"Evan…" (Y/n) tilted her head to the side when he dived down for a kiss and her stomach burst with adrenaline when he groaned and kissed the edge of her jaw instead. His hands pulled her hips, tugging her off the table and into his embrace. "It's not exactly stressful, and I'm fine. I'm going to work-"

"The papers are already here." He ticked his head towards the papers on the table while his hands wormed down her back and slid into her underwear.

"Then I'll take them back when I go in on Friday."

"Why? Bobby agreed you can work from here, he's not bothered, so just stay home with me."

(Y/n) wanted to disagree. She wanted to argue and tell him that he couldn't just decide she was working from home or decide that she wasn't well enough to go to work. But he had already done it.

He had already brought the paperwork here and it seemed pointless to take the papers back to the station and then come home when she could just do them here. She was home, Evan was home and she could get the work done here and let Evan take them back in. He would be going back to the station before her anyway.

"Alright." There was no point arguing with him over this; what else could she say?

***

"I'm just saying, why go when you don't need to?" Evan shrugged his shoulders and held his hands out at his sides like he was calling a truce, but his words didn't exactly imply that.

"Because if everyone else has to then so do I. I can't just be that one girl who never bothers to turn up for class, Evan."

(Y/n) pressed her hand against her back, just to the side of her hip so she could click her spine into place and ward off the ache in her lower back. Her other hand moved to her temple and started massaging in circles where a headache was beginning to form.

This wasn't fair.

Evan couldn't pretend like this wasn't going to be an argument or like this wasn't a problem.

(Y/n) wanted to go to college, she didn't want to do all of her lessons from home like Evan kept suggesting. She was only twenty weeks pregnant, she had a lot longer to go yet before they would have their baby and in that time (Y/n) wanted to do as much as she could at college. She wanted to attend classes and lectures and do the work with her professor rather than staying home to do it and sending the work over email.

When she was eight months pregnant she would be working from home and she was going to be given a break from studies once she had the baby. It was all in her hands, she could decide how long she had off from her studies, but (Y/n) only wanted to take two or three months at the most. Because then she would just have to sit her final exams and hopefully graduate. Then she could stay off on maternity leave and find a job in that time ready for when she wanted to go back to work.

"You say that like you don't do any of the work. You're working from home, you're doing the lessons and sending in your work. And in a month you'll be on work experience anyway, so what does it matter if you don't sit in that class with people you don't even like? Just stay home."

Evan moved to perch down on the end of the bed, being mindful of the few books and notepads (Y/n) had scattered across the bed. He leaned his elbows on his thighs and clasped his hands together between his knees. He looked oddly calm, not the least bit perplexed about this.

And he wasn't.

He saw no need to get angry when he was telling (Y/n) the truth and he knew sooner or later, she would agree and come round to the idea.

"It's not that I don't like them, but it's not nice being the odd one out. But that doesn't matter, I'm at college to do the work and turn up, I actually want to do it you know."

(Y/n) dragged her hand up and down her back again and when Evan reached out for her, she shook his hand off.

She continued pacing in front of the end of the bed, the hem of her dress swishing and swaying with every movement and sharp turn she made. And when she glanced her eyes down, she bit her lip to smother a sigh. Her hand left her back and she tried to calm down enough to do up the buttons on her dress. Evan had undone them when he attached himself to her when he got home.

"You'll be less stressed." He pointed out quietly, squinting up at her while his lips quirked to one side, trying to get her to see this from his point of view.

"It's not about stress-"

"It is when you're pregnant and you're gonna make yourself sick worrying and overdoing it just to turn up, when technically, you don't have to. You've been approved to work from home and just go in once a week."

Evan stretched and sat back straight while (Y/n) stopped pacing, finally, and turned to stand in front of him. He began running his hands up and down his thighs while he raised a brow at her.

She would see it from his point of view soon.

She had already stopped going down to the station and let Evan bring all the work home to her instead. She had agreed that her college work was stressful enough without needing to spend all her free time at the station. It meant she could be home with Evan and rest and work on her own terms. And it meant Evan could have her to himself.

He didn't have to have anyone else at the station leering and watching her and she could stay home with him instead.

College would be the same. Evan didn't see why she wouldn't just work from home when she was already approved to do it. She could spend her days here with him when he wasn't at work. She could relax and be home and take it easy. She didn't have to go out, Evan could have her within his sights and make sure she was alright and know what she was doing each day.

It was easier. It was better. It was safer.

"Yeah, and everyone already looks at me weird because I'm the only one in class- in the whole year, who's pregnant."

(Y/n) didn't necessarily hate the people in her class, but she didn't meet up with them after class or call them her close friends. And they had been shocked when they started to realise her stomach was growing and clicked onto her being pregnant. No one else in their year was having or already had a baby. (Y/n) was the only one, and although she was happy to be pregnant, she didn't like the strange looks she got.

(Y/n) groaned when Evan reached out and scrunched the dress up in his fists, using it as leverage to pull her close to him until she was stood between his thighs. He raked her dress up so his hands could hold the flesh of her hips, no material separating them, and he leaned forward to press his lips against her growing bump, over the material of her dress.

"Ignore them; they're just jealous." He kissed her stomach a few more times before he tilted his head up and tested his luck kissing her cleavage instead.

He felt her shiver when he locked his heels behind hers, pinning her between his thighs. And when he pressed his chin into her sternum and stared up at her, he could see her starting to waver, starting to give in.

"Stay home with me, sweetheart. No stress, no weird looks or idiots in class, just you, me and bubba."

(Y/n) didn't want to argue anymore about it today.

She didn't have the will. She didn't have the strength or the energy to argue that if she didn't go to college, she would be cut off from everyone but Evan. She only saw the team at the station when they came over to the apartment or she and Evan infrequently went out with them after their shifts.

She didn't have a lot of friends and she didn't get along with many people in class at college. And (Y/n)'s relationship with her parents was estranged, just like Evan's was with his. Her parents didn't keep in contact, they paid more attention to her little sister than to (Y/n). All she had was Evan.

If she gave up going to college and resided to work from home, she would barely have any interaction or anyone else in her life. She didn't want to be smothered by Evan. His overprotective side was sweet, but it was starting to become controlling.

But he made valid points. She could work from home and have less stress, no strange looks and she could relax and do the work at her own pace. And she would be going on work experience soon which she couldn't do from home, she would be in a preschool class from nine until three, Monday through to Friday for a few weeks at least.

(Y/n) leaned back to let Evan stand up and she let him weave his arms around her waist and pull her into his chest. She let him swoop down and attach his lips to hers while his fingers dug deeper into her hips, squeezing her flesh and pulling at the waistband of her underwear.

Evan and their baby were all she had.

[ibelievewhatyousaid]

The Sinner’s assigned Abnormalities in L. Corp are very intriguing to me, as not being a general “resonance,” that Limbus uses with its current day Ego. But! They were assigned that for a given reason, even if only on a meta level, so I’d like to put my two cents into it as I love the Lobcorp Abnos so much. These are simplified summaries of the Abnormalities and speculation on how they fit said Sinner.

Faust - Forsaken Murderer

I do not believe she has an Ego Gift adored to her except the one for this Abno, so we can focus in on this purely; all being of Forsaken Murderer. (On this note, although I am not talking about the realization Ruina Egos, Meursault has Ego for this Abno as well) Forsaken Murderer in his original logs was said to have been a murderer in federal prison to have been sentenced to death. Before that could take place, a bunch of researchers decided to experiment on him. They wanted to prove an innate “evil,” existed and on a further level, they wanted to “cure,” him, although unclear what it really was they wanted to cure. Their experiments twisted out all of his penitence for violence, turning him docile, until he came to this belief of ringing in his head, that his head itself had became metal, leading to self harm against himself. Eventually a fatal accident happens, the researchers jump the ship and decide to simply dissect his brain, until the end he muttered, “ends, begins, ends, begins, end.”

NOW, this is hard to shape into Faust’s story, given how little we know about her on a deeper level, but, I think there’s already (shallow-ish) connections we can make. Faust has a lot of implications of science experiment (Child in a Flask, Telepole) whether we take this ‘literally,’ it’s safe to say either way Faustcord keeps her on a tight leash as being an “experiment” of a Faust who is willing to take a gamble. A lot of Forsaken Murderer focuses on the fact he is chained and tied up but “free as any other man,” we could take this as Faust’s expectation of being a skilled scientist and genius who is bound by those around her, to fulfill that role, yet “free,” at the sake of being all knowing. Faust is “omnipresent,” yet she is just another in a chain of command. In TKT she mentions to Vergilius that both of them “know their place,” despite how great she is, how “free,” of knowing she is, she is just another chain, in both the City and Dante’s contract to the sinners. We can also go deeper with this concept of “inevitably,” of the city, given to her by a predestined plan of fates, in every mirror world, how it all will end has already been put into motion. To know of how tied you are to fate surely must be a token of freedom as well, can’t it? He also seems to have a bit of an ego, a Ruina line of his being, “Don’t look at me with those eyes. You’re the most pitiful one here.” Which, fits Faust’s need to be above others, such as “Faust is brilliant, smart, Yi Sang is a genius.” An implication that Yi Sang had a cap on how brilliant he can be, something he must’ve lucked into, Faust was born to be great. Even if she is regrettably pitiful in every other aspect. An inability to connect to others or form meaningful attachments, this especially rears its head in events were her intelligence creates gaps between her and others, all of MotWE or Dante’s brush off of her in Canto 6 when she cannot given them an answer, or, even earlier, Sinclair accusing Faust and Limbus using the Sinners as compasses to boughs. In all situations it leaves her isolated and awkward, unable to answer, creating a larger, pitiful wedge between her and others, despite how great she is. She is still a thing to be “studied,” whether from an actual scientist or to other versions of her, or those around her, she is a spectacle.

Outis - Der Freishütz / Bloodbath

The story of Der Freischütz in Lobcorp was of a marksman making a deal with the devil, the devil proposed that the gun could shoot anyone, on the last bullet it would pierce the person the marksman loved, in return, the devil would gain the marksman soul in hell. The marksman thus went through all his bullets, killing off all his loved ones. The marksman traveled, simply doing good and bad deeds in impulse, no sign of an actual moral code. Eventually, he realized that the devil had long since stopped following him. He realizes that the contract had long been fulfilled, since the very beginning of him giving up his loved ones, did he fall to hell. And so, now a devil as well, the marksman continued to shoot anyone he wanted, forever.

Again, another sinner we’re left out in the cold for. But, to tap into Outis’ source, The Odyssey, the story follows Odysseus’ desperation to finally reach home, to his family. As the stories play out the more Odysseus gives up his morals. To sacrificing his men to no mercy, a king who was once gentle and kind, gives up all people around him to succeed in arriving home. Of course, from the start, Odysseus had given up his family, a mother who died alone, a wife left waiting for over a decade, a son who had never known him. Odysseus also makes many deals with Gods around him, something he pays greatly later for. Of course, none of this is a one for one, but I think it is to mimic Odysseus, or here, Outis’ slower decent into someone who hurts those who she loves (or should’ve) by her cruelty, once Odysseus had set off to war was the moment he was bound to lose everything. Which, is very similar to how Der Freishütz is, he had lost his humanity the moment he made the deal.

Bloodbath is a Abno based overtly on Carmen, but, to ease it into a more general baseless story, the Abnormality represents: “the pain of all those who couldn’t take their sorrow in stride.” A huge focus on Bloodbath is the guilt of love, of unable to achieve success, using “scars” as marks of failure. The bath mocks the person peering in with hands reaching out desperately, as if begging to be saved, or joined, in this misery. It’s a sign of endless despair, unable to ever reach the climax of this, the only outcome is to accept this wave of despair and let yourself accept it.

So, arguably this fits Outis really well just on the bases of the line: “Many hands float in the bath. They are the hands of the people I once loved.” This once again, is more of a line of thinking born from her source, but a lot of Odysseus’ guilt is haunting to him, specifically that of Penelope, but overall, he gives up many men, including people very close to him, to never truly “succeed,” I feel like this one is easier to connect to, given what I said of the previous Abno to Outis, so.

Don Quixote - Meat Lantern / Void Dream / Fragment of the Universe

Meat Lantern is quite.. obtuse, in its logs, both in Lobcorp and LoR most is left obscure. Which is terribly fitting. Meat Lantern, by your guess, is obviously not a tiny little flower. The logs say that it is gigantic, underneath the entire facility, always waiting, it lures people in, in L. Corp’s lens, it lures in employees by being a lantern, something shiny, full of hope, they haven’t seen stuck underground for so long. Any nature, any lights, something that wasn’t horrific or artificial has long since been lost to everyone there. It’s easy to feel it calling to them, to reach out, to touch, but it’s all a ploy to devour and eat whoever trusts it.

So, Donqui’s Abnos are actually what made me originally want to write about them. I had written out my analysis of hers a few months before, but it was too hinged on my own reading of her that it felt easy to write off as me sounding insane. But! With the reveal of MotWE.. this seems, pretty obvious. (Glad to know I’m not too crazy) Don Quixote wears a mask, one of “hope” something born from really just being .. silly, of something rare in the City. Someone who genuinely believes in good? In hope? Here? As “Don Quixote” stands as an ideal, a concept, “too good to be true.” and beneath that is a “reality,” no one’s has “really ever seen.” (as the log says about the “real body” of Meat Lantern) and then “devours” people. Yeah. I bet.

Void Dream’s logs follow someone who has Void Dream eat all their nightmares, giving them the best dream they could have imagined, the person they love had returned, even working in such a horrible company that is L. Corp was good. Everything was so, so amazing, a perfect ideal world for the dreamer. When waking up, the person was crushed by reality, when forced to confront the truth they became despaired. They tried to find those dreams again, in an obsession, but, they never did come back. The employee comes to the realization that Void Dream’s deal was too good to be true, that from the start, the Abno had set them up. And they had lost, unable to enjoy either sides of reality or dreams, they find their way back to Void Dream and beg them to eat all their dreams. Stealing away all their dreams, nightmares, hopes and despairs, virtually leaving them empty. When Void Dream is accused of leading people on, it brushes off the person, insisting it just wishes the best for others. The line, “a demon must change its shape to deceive others.”

Originally, I had read this purely as Don Quixote being put into the victim’s prospective, someone who “wakes up” from a perfect dream to be crushed by reality. And, I don’t actually disagree, I think this still 100% fits. But I think her fitting “as” the Abnormality makes perfect sense, too. Obviously, the whole “deceiving others,” line fits. To change one’s shape, a “demon” a Bloodfiend, to deceive others into seeing it as innocent, pure, true to the ideals it preaches. But, and this is a bit speculation on what we know very little of, “Don Quixote,” was given, or is a dream herself that a Bloodfiend wishes to dream, that Bloodfiend must’ve spun this tale, this “perfect” dream is an “act of kindness,” despite not being kind at all. Despite giving out this dream, not only to herself, but to others around her, does it lead to destruction and a harsher fall to reality itself.

Fragment of the Universe.. actually isn’t an Abnormality. At least, not traditionally, if the logs are true. The log mentions how it let itself be caught and studied, and through studying they declared it “intelligent enough” to communicate via language, thus, it learned more and more of humans and humanity. It became endeared and loved people. It reflected what it saw, leading to it looking like a kid’s drawings of hearts. When asked why it had came to interact with humans, it said it wanted to spread messages. One being its song, a song of the universe that drove people crazy, but also let them “finally see the stars,” and also to inform everyone that “there are no coincidences in the universe.”

FotU is really intertwined to its love of humanity, even its design is rooted in this love for the species. Its aim to spread its song is to “relieve” people, as well, even if misguided or unable to be understood. I think Don Quixote, as a concept, is so terribly human. She’s overly emotional, she’s quick to action, strong morals, she’s clumsy and brave and fearful and determined. She is so very human that it backfires. Given Cassetti’s lines, “we are so, so hideous behind the mask.” and his dedication as well as other Bloodfiends to “run” from being monsters and Elena’s lines of her wondering if she was desperate enough to “chase after being an ordinary human again.” I think the Bloodfiend behind Don Quixote genuinely loves humans, and, most likely, wants to “be” one. And “reflects” what she sees, which is a habit Donqui has, mirroring Merusault in TKT, or wishing to “copy” other sinners from Outis’ wristwatch. Donqui also has a huge tie to stars, so, so many of her IDs have her mentioning them, not to mention her tagline. I think an Abno who knows far more than it lets on, powerful, letting itself into humanity, coming to love them, but never being one, is dreadfully fitting.

Yi Sang - Funeral of the Dead Butterflies

FotDB is an Abnormality born from the pain and suffering of.. Lobotomy Corporation, actually! It’s a mourner who is rumored to wandering the halls of the facility with a coffin for those who are bound to be lost, an early mourning for those who are destined to die, and an incomplete sorrow for those already gone, the coffin too small to fit them all, unable to fall asleep or escape. The ending of the log decides that there is no escape, these butterflies are damned to wait, because there “must be an end to every world.”

I think, just like with Gregor’s case, although the original Abnormality is directly tied to L. Corp, in a more general definition, it is about the pain and sorrow of those inevitable deaths born from things such as K corp, or the Smoke War. Cases of people’s lives being thrown away and devalued, not given proper burials, no home to escape to, a fate to dying here, leaving the mourning to the others in the same situation who simply “lucked out.” In Yi Sang’s case, an “ending for every world,” feels very deliberate to the “world,” in which he was locked up in a cage, passively awaiting the days for it to end, one way or another, only to realize he was able to walk out, that the door was never locked. Yi Sang’s grief and attachment to the League of Nine, the only person who seems to grieve over those loses, alone, carrying that pain wherever he goes. In that sense, “an ending to every world,” could also be turned into a guaranteed ending of things he loved as well. There is more to be said, but this one seems very obvious.

Ryōshū - Spider Bud / One sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds / Scorched Girl / Bloodbath / Big and Will be Bad Wolf

(Oh my God girl. Do you need that many???)

Spider Bud is an Abno that is deeply protective of her babies, quite literally her alternative name being “brood mother,” she reacts negatively and violent if an Agent hurts or steps on her children

Ryōshū has gotten this Abno thrice now. It’s gotta be important, and yeah, it is! This is born purely from her Source, but Yoshihide’s tragedy is losing his daughter, Spider Bud’s entire gimmick is being peaceful (as an Abno can be) unless someone hurts her children, she stalks and watches and exacts revenge against those people. I didn’t want to bring in Uptie stories, but Ryōshū’s uncharacteristic gentleness to the spiderlings who nip at her is really.. striking. Once again, this one feels kind of.. duh, so I won’t go much deeper into it.

One Sin is an Abnormality with the purpose of being confessed to, to relieve one of their sins, it’s tied to religion to Hell’s screen gimmick of.. Hell.. feels, yes, but I feel as though this is more general and disingenuous from One Sin’s connection to Christianity while Hell’s screen is about Buddhism’s hell. Instead this felt more interlined to Parallel Gebura. A lot of people have jumped on this for power scaling fun, but! I think it’s important to realize why Carmen would’ve said “At least similar in this regard,” my take is that a huge aspect of Gebura’s woes in Lobcorp was her unable to protect those she loved. Given Yoshihide’s tragedy here, unable to protect his daughter. I think that is the aim that makes the most sense right now with how very little we have about Ryōshū.

Scorched Girl is another Abnormality she’s already gotten, all in all, SG lives on a sense of angered revenge and self destruction. Her logs depict her to be torn in two from her desire of affection to one of wishing harm on others.

Her attempt at hurting others involves hurting herself, which lines up with Yoshihide’s ending, of his natural self destructiveness, how he makes his art and his death. Her rage also lines up with Ryōshū’s, a want to have back warmth, love she’s lost, but only able to be a match of destruction.

Bloodbath, we already covered this in Outis’ section! I think Outis and Ryōshū naturally align similarly, (Hong Lu, Mr. “Horrific family” isn’t ever the one getting cold or aloof to mentions of family or parents or children, it’s only ever these two!) A guilt of unable to succeed despite how much you gave up and sacrificed, including others And to lose those you love, the hands in the water being everyone you’ve ever loved, by your own faults.

Finally, Big and Will be Bad Wolf! The Abnormality is about being set up from birth being one way. From the way society sees you, you will always be what they depict you as. The Abnormality doesn’t feel remorse over the violence it causes, because it was “inevitable” he’d turn out this way. Who is he to blame nature? Regardless of nurture.

This one is the most hard to really fit without going “well, just a hunch.” I think this could be in regards to Yoshihide’s further and further acts of violence and pain to others around him, but unable to feel that remorse (until it is too late) because he was born with this way. He was “born” an “artist.” Who is he to defy things sacrificed for art? He is unable to be anything but cruel and vindictive, and he doesn’t try to be.

Well, that’s everything I could remember off the top of my head! Apologies if it starts to get a little weaker by the end, I’ve been typing for hours. In general, there’s more I could say or conclude, but, because of how loose Abnos are in concept, as well as how most of these Sinners (everyone but Yi Sang…) haven’t had their cantos yet, it leaves a lot of assumptions built upon their sources and short behavior ticks we’ve seen them display. I won’t say these are confirmed or sure fire takes but more so a jumping off point in fathoming these choices.

[whoucallingalesbian]

i need a dom drvgdealer!ellie that pretends she hates me, stalks me, tells me imma good girl n that i belong to her, talks me thru it, degrades me, hunts me, hurts me (in a good way tho iykyk), a lil bit of 🔪 play here n there, spits on me, fights everyone who even dares to touch me, spoils me, chains me up

i.need.her.

if someone is willing to write a smvt like this PLS TAG ME I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER

xoxo tea

[strrykais]

control alt + love [k.seung smau]

12. balls to the face

"here are your maps, and walkies. we split up in twos, felix and jeongin you head to crow nest, jisung and changbin head to the junkyard." seungmin says looking at the guys.

"minho are you okay with hanging out in the tower at the capital? we need a high vantage point of our flag." he says pointing at the map staring at minho as he nods. "okay chan is staying with the flag defending, ill head to the fort raptor, when you spot their flag don't engage, call for back up."

“remember jongho and mingi are their best shooters so be mindful when you are in open areas, their shots are nasty and accurate. wooyoung is our best bet in capturing if we want to win.” felix says glancing around at the team. everyone gives nods.

“hongjoong and seonghwa arent the best shots but they are fast and good at hand to hand combat to be careful.” minho says looking at jisung.

“whats that look for?” jisung scoffs. “why are they good at this thing?”

“this is how they team bond they do it like once a month with their staff. seungmin and I join from time to time.” minho tells jisung. “dude you literally came to one of these.”

"what about me?" you say side stepping behind minho raising your hand before the two of them could continue.

"you are with me." seungmin says looking at the walkies making sure they are on the right channel. "okay that's everything, remember stay hidden and don't get shot."

you watch as the team disperse seungmin still continuing to look at the map. you walk up next to him trying to glance over his shoulder.

"shorty you are too close. i can feel you on my back." he says glancing over his shoulder

"oh sorry" you say stepping back only for him to turn around walking to you, you slowly step back more but seungmin continues to step at you completely blocking you in when your back hits a tree trunk.

"what are you doing? aren't we supposed to head to fort raptor." you say avoiding eye contact glancing around him.

"im going to fort raptor, you on the other hand, well depends on how you answer this." seungmin says pressing his gun into your lower stomach.

"you gonna shoot me? are you being for real? whats up with this damn team and not having their teammates back?" you say huffing out.

"listen yn, one thing my team does is have each others back. im sorry that the little game you and jeongin were playing didnt go the way you want, but there is something you need to learn and im gonna teach you." seungmin says leaning in, the barrel of the gun digging deeper into your stomach.

"and what is that exactly?" you say trying to seem more cool than you were feeling inside. you couldn't exactly understand what is going on but your heart was racing and you felt like your breathing was erratic.

"teamwork. i know its hard to be heard because you are new, and a girl so you feel like you have to shout. but we, your teammates arent the ones you need to be shouting at. we had your back the moment felix picked you. we had to fight tooth and nail to get hq to even accept the idea of letting a girl on the team. i also understand friends fight its a normal thing to bicker especially with us living together. but what you won't do is belittle your teammates on live game play like that ever again. jeongin can be a lot, trust me i know the kid for 3 years, but sometimes you gotta be the bigger person and either ignore it or talk it out. i don't care that we lost because i knew it. but your fight didn't just effect you and him. it was effecting everyone. your game style change to a selfish one and minho and jisung had to pick up the slack you were pulling. and whatever they couldn’t keep up with, changbin had too pick it up. you caused a chain reaction. do you understand what im trying to say."

seungmin steps back when he notices you havent said anything, lifting your head you stare right at him.

"you are right im sorry, it won't happen again."

"you are right, it won't because ill bench you." he says turning around walking away.

you giggle out at his joke, only for you to stop when you notice he isnt laughing.

"wait you arent serious about benching me?" you say grabbing your gun and calling out after him. seeing him give you a little smirk and a shrug he continues to walk.

"hurry shorty we are behind schedule."

previous | masterlist | next

a/n : i apologize for the lack in updates.. lwk been having writers block but we are SO BACK ALSO SEUNGMIN CRUMBS when the slow burn is fr a slow burn.... :( how excited are we to have this ball rolling??

tags: @onlyhyunjin @15092000volcano @chenlesfavorite @hippopotamusdreamer @vegetablesarefuntables @soondoongdoriii @jeonginplsholdmyhand @nappynapnaps @sincerely-sun @staytinyluv @kimseungminpabo @seungzsmin @sweetasmarie @hinanitiram @tricky-ritz @ayyonoona @hanniemylovelyquokka @toplinehyunjin @missystay @binniesbabe @tirena1 @jihoons-kitten @skz-ot8-stay @darlingz99 @khandzilla @icouldntcareless22 @rihaee @kikieatsfood23 @hvnverse

[haunted4kent]

" inked up " t . todoroki

✧˚ · . 𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀 ; get risky with the ink , please?

female reader! x touya todoroki with no burns.

a/n ; TATTOO ARTIST AND GRUNGE TOUYA im losing my own shit. have fun this is shitty writing but idc <3

the small parlor on the corner stood out a little more than it should have, but touya loved it. 

he ran it all on his own, and when he met you and introduced you to it, his eyes awaited your reaction like a child showing their mother their art.

this shop was a monument for ink-loving, rock-loving, cigarette-smoking freaks, just like him, just like you.

at the end of the day, he’d finish up his last client and the routine was the same. you’d help him clean up then sit curled up on the couch and sketch all night before losing track of time and going home at 3am. 

he slips the gloves off his hands, throwing them into the bin after finishing up his last customer of the night. he gives you a boyish grin, sitting down beside you. he presses a kiss behind your ear, the cold metal of his snake bites pressing against your skin.

“i made good cash, i just did a couple of small tats today. still, great money.”

his eyes had a sort of glimmer, one he'd only had when he was up to no good. “touya, what?” 

he scoots up, shrugging his shoulders. “nothin, nothin. i was just wondering if you wanted to you know. get some ink in ya.” 

touya loved giving you tattoos. you weren't littered like him, you were his empty canvas. he’d given you your first and second, small simple ones that had meaning, but to offer you at a random time with no idea what you could permanently put on your body was different of him.

you should have expected it, getting with an eyeliner-wearing, pierced, tattoo artist. shit. you couldn't help but fall for those metalled-up lips.

“come onn. please? i saw the way you were staring at the customers today, you must have been thinkin' about it.” he ran his fingers down your arm, the platnuim of his rings turning your skin up in goosebumps. 

so convincing. he had pleading eyes, but you know in his mind how many ideas he has. “fine, but like, what?” his pout turns into a grin, and he sits up to reach his book full of sketches, pulling you to his chest.

“soo, i may or may not have sketched somethin out for you, but it's meant for a certain place.” when your eyes go to the small body sketch, and the ribcage is circled, you think he must be crazy. you can't help but laugh. “get that shit away from me.” 

like a child, he shuts the book and whines. “pleaseee”

“you must be out of your mind to want to tattoo my ribcage touya, i was struggling with the knee.” he stands from the couch, his hand lifting at his loosely fitted tank to reveal his tattooed ribs, which he was extremely egotistical about. “you see these babies here? i almost love them as much as i love you. and what i want to do with you is a more modern-day type style, do you know how purposely splotchy 2000s I did this?”

you knew you had a medium tolerance for the needle, but it was a little beyond what you expected.

he leans down and runs his thumb over your cheek. his eyes moving to each one of the piercings in your ears, nose, brow, and lip, he knew his girl had it in her.

“c’mon babe, have a little fun. we’ll smoke, have a little chitchat, and you won't even feel it.” he so loved that you were just like him, into the same things as him. he couldn't just let that go to waste.

before you know it, you are lying on the tattoo bed. he slips on the latex over his hands, scooting on his little rollie chair towards the side of where you lay. “my poor baby.” he wipes the antiseptic over your ribs with the smugest smirk known to man.  you could almost be mad at his cocky remarks, but getting lost in him is the only thing that keeps you going.

"you'll be fine, you're gonna love it."

when your eyes lose focus and find themselves stuck on his inked-up arms, or the chain hanging down his favorite pair of baggy pants. your almost too glad he's giving you the tattoo. plus the cigarette he's passing back and forth between the two of you is also a great help.

“you can like, dig your fingernails into me if you need to, i whined like a baby just a little too. plus, who the hell doesn't want a pretty face diggin' into them.” he places a soft kiss on your lips. his fingertips gently pressing on your skin. the gun starts buzzing the needle drives into your nerve endings like a bitch.

 “oh, you're a dick touya.” 

"heh, my names pretty comin' out of your mouth sweets." he doesn't look up, just his egotistical smirk sitting on his concentrated face.

 his eyes looked up to yours for a moment, sweetly, but having a picture stabbed into your ribs wasn't exactly making you blush either.

the buzzing of the tattoo gun in his hand was the only thing you could focus on, and the little heart touya let you tattoo onto his ring finger. a couple months back. "your alright, just keep breathing slow, and pass me the cigarette"

"i think i need it more." you protest.

"no you dont" his hand comes up and pulls the bud from between your fingers, placing it between his lips.

you found comfort in the shop, it was familiar, and you tapped your fingers to songs of the bands he had up on the walls.

“we're literally like badass grudge bitches, i feel like i'm taking this like a pro.” breathing was excruciating, but talking nonsense could also take your mind off it a little more. 

“that’s the spirit. your doin' so good, so proud.”

after an hour and a half, he carefully wraps your skin and treats you with a kiss once you sit up.

“not gonna pass out now that you sit up, are you? need apple juice?” he speaks to you like your a whiny child after a shot offering you a lollipop.

“im good, are you?”

he shrugs, showing off his scratched-up bicep to you like a prize. “you're not too bad of an artist either babe”

“oh shut up jackass.” you sit up off the seat and stand in front of the body-length mirror. rolling up your top, you admire the work. he really was gifted with his hands.

he steps up behind you, pulling the gloves from his hands with his teeth before tossing them aside.

in the lightly illuminated room, his face is dark in the mirror. his chin sets on your shoulder and his teeth nibble at the lobe of your ear. “pretty dark tattoo for such a pretty girl like you. you like?”

you really did like it, it sat well with your style, and suddenly the drive for more filled your blood.

 “i think it's really fuckin cool.”

his hand wraps the side of your hip, the hand that in cursive wrote out your name.

the cool metal from his brow sets onto your neck. “atta girl, now dont get addicted.”

© haunted4kent 2024.

[hxney-lemcn]

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Confused — Twilight Princess! Link x gn! reader

summery: you find your life turning monotonous without your childhood friend around, but when he comes back you find yourself conflicted. thankfully, he has his ways of making you feel better.

tw: mentions of getting hurt (not described tho), hurt/comfort, linked universe.

a/n: ALWEHFDLKGJ I LOVE LINK!!!! Finally wrote for him!!! Words kept getting put down I couldn't stop myself. Also, heavily inspired by @maple-the-awesome's The Chain Meets You, His Partner but also vastly different lol (so go read that too if you haven't).

wc: 3.6k

Master List

Trying to ignore the sweat that dripped down your brow, you continued to watch Talon hack and swing at the dummy that was set just outside of Link’s treehouse. He had left, again, on a dangerous mission that you had little to no information about. Once again left in the dark. So you didn’t think he’d mind if you used his equipment for training. You're being filled with sorrow for multiple reasons, but the main one at the moment was for Talon, who felt the need to learn how to fight to protect the village. A task that  you had failed at. Something that ate at not only you, but Rusl, Colin’s own father. It ate at you for a different reason than Rusl, as not only had you failed at protecting the other children, but you had failed Link, who had set out and brought them back. A task that shouldn’t have fallen onto his shoulders solely, but became his burden to bear as both you and Rusl were too hurt to travel, let alone fight. 

You had cried when he came back (much to your embarrassment). Cried happily that he returned. Then cried solemnly when he had told you about how he not only saved the children of Ordon, but had saved all of Hyrule. Cried for just how quickly he had to grow in the few months of his travels, how he found solace with someone that wasn’t you (you knew that was selfish, but you just couldn’t help it). If the villagers had thought you and Link were close before, they were surprised that you had managed to become closer. You never left his side, always trying to do chores before he had the chance. Link needed time to rest, but you knew he would refuse to…so you had to force him somehow.

That felt like forever ago as he once again found himself placed with an even heavier burden than before. Traveling through different dimensions to kill some sort of shadow beast. You weren’t one hundred percent on the details as Link as rushidly explained that he was leaving and he wasn’t sure for how long. That had been months ago, and you found yourself taking over his role in the village. You were the ranch hand now, as well as the defender since Rusl was needed at home to help take care of his newborn. Which led you to this moment, teaching Talon how to defend himself. He was still young, so he had time to learn of the best stances, strikes, defenses, and more. And even if you weren’t as great as Link when it came to a fight, but you were still pretty darn good, which is why Talon asked you. 

You were brought out of your reverie when Talon let out an excited cheer, jumping up and down as he pointed out the broken pumpkin that once acted as the dummy’s head. With a small smile, you congratulated the young boy, telling him to go take a break and play with the other kids. To your satisfaction he did just that, running off into the village as you let out a sigh. You didn’t mind the kids, in fact, half the village were kids. No, you just weren’t as close to them as Link or Ilia were, but they didn’t seem to mind your awkwardness. Just as you were about to make your own way into the village for your much needed break, you were caught off guard as you were brought into an embrace. Panicking, you went to elbow whoever decided it would be a smart idea to catch you off guard, only to be swung around in a circle. You grasped onto the strong arms that held you by your waist, turning your head only to see your greatest cause of stress for the past few months. 

A mix of emotions washed over you as Link set you down, letting you turn to face him fully. Happy once more to see the man you loved, relieved to see that he was not only alive, but no visible injuries, and a bit annoyed. Annoyed that he just pops back in and acts like nothing had happened, like he hadn’t just left you alone again, like he hadn’t just left for a mission that could’ve left him dead in a world he was unfamiliar with. Where you would’ve never known of his status, if he was alive or dead, left to forever ponder the fate of your childhood friend. In the end, your relief won, staring into his azure eyes that shone with pure adoration and happiness. 

“You’re back already?” You whispered, like if you spoke any louder he’d shatter before you and you’d wake from a dream. He nodded, always one who expressed himself with his actions instead of words. “To stay?” You clarified, and that was when your heart dropped. His smile fell, and his gaze drifted away from you. 

Yet he still refused to let you go, if anything he pulled you in closer as he spoke in a similar hushed whisper, “Came here to restock our supplies.” Before you could ask what he meant by ‘our’, you heard multiple footsteps approach, causing you to pull away from Link much to his dismay. Each time he was pulled away from you he felt like he was missing a part of himself. He almost downright refused to leave you when he came back from saving the forest temple and saw you laying battered and bruised in your bed. Your despondent attitude had caused him great heartache, unable to stay and lift your spirits as he had to clear the twilight from the rest of Hyrule. Instead, he kissed your battered and bruised skin that day hoping that his love and adoration for you would seep through your skin and reach your bruised soul. Instead, it seemed his affection had done the opposite, and as you littered his own face with kisses of your own, he could feel the regret, self hatred, and sadness drenched in each and every peck. You had given him the most soul crushing look as he exited your room to continue his journey. He knew at that moment you blame yourself for the children being taken, for not being able to come and help him on his journey.

And just when everything seemed to go back to as normal as life could get, it got uprooted once more. That sorrow filled your eyes once more when he brought up leaving soon. Once more, he longed to stay by your side as your hand cupped his cheek, stating that he shouldn’t have the world rest upon his shoulders again, how it wasn’t fair he couldn’t just live his life like any other hylian. Deep down Link knew you were right, and as he met the Links from the other dimensions, he knew it was unfair that they also had to bear similar burdens. Yet at the same time it was a solace that he met others who were dealt similar hands as him. So when it was time to go back to his dimension, where you would be there to greet him, Link had been overcome with eagerness, wanting to see you once more, talk of his adventures, and give you a few items he deemed you’d enjoy. He completely forgot it wasn’t to stay, and when your loving expression turned sour he felt his heart drop. 

Before he could try to cheer you, the rest of his group had finally caught up, causing you to stare at the multiple blond men who wore green tunics. You blinked rapidly, wondering if you had hit your head to cause such a sight, because it almost seemed like many Links of different variations stood before you. 

“So this was why you were running so fast,” One of them huffed, the only major difference was the scarf he wore around his neck. An awkward air settled around you all, and you found yourself itching for a reason to excuse yourself. You’re sure anyone Link would travel with was nice, but you always had a harder time getting to know new people. 

“Everyone, meet my friend,” Link gestured to you, a warm smile lining his lips once more. Then he introduced you to each individual. Apparently they were all Link, just from their own times/dimensions. It was honestly hard to wrap your head around the whole situation, but they all went by unusual names to clarify who was who. Your Link being called Twilight (or Twi) due to the darkness your land had fallen to years ago. 

“It’s nice to meet you all,” You smiled politely, hoping to not come off as awkward as you felt. “Unfortunately I have to go help Fado with the ranch now.”

“I can–” Before your Link could offer to help, you sent him a sharp glare that quickly shut him up. 

“You need to rest,” You scolded, and as your gaze fell onto the others you clarified. “You all need some rest. You should stay for the night at least, Link—Twi has room in his house to fit you all.”

“But–”

“No buts,” You shook your head, already starting to walk towards the village, the argument ending before it could even begin. You could hear some chuckles from the group, but you paid no regard. 

To clear your mind from everything that just happened moments prior, you found yourself cleaning the goats stalls at Fado’s ranch. Clearing and refilling their food and water troughs, shoveling out their poop, stacking hay bales that will be used the next day, then preparing to herd all the goats back into the barn. A routine you had grown accustomed to in Link's absence. This was his job…had been his job, but it was yours in the meantime. It unsettled you how well the village could do in the absence of Link, how no one dared to utter his name. Or perhaps they thought the topic would upset you…they wouldn’t be wrong in that regard. 

Just as the sun started to set, you closed the doors to the barn, ready to head back to your home and prepare a warm bath to rid yourself of the grim accumulated from a day of hard work. Of course things could never be so easy. Link stood by the gate, watching you close up. As you approached the blond hero, those tumultuous feelings from earlier rose once more, unsure if you could handle any more emotional encounters. 

“Come,” Link waved at you, nodding towards the village. “Wild made dinner.” You planted your feet, ceasing your movements as you felt your eyebrows furrow. On one hand, you felt like you were being unfair to Link's companions, but on the other, you felt completely exhausted both mentally and physically. Waking up before the sun rises and falling asleep long after it sets does one to someone's body. Not to mention the constant work that was piled onto you, from working on the ranch to training Talon, you hadn’t had much time to yourself, and you weren’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. And when Link sensed that you stopped, turning around to face you, you're sure the bags under your eyes, slouched posture, and how you could barely keep your eyes open screamed everything you felt. The bone deep ache that just wouldn’t go away. 

Still, he grabbed your hand. His calloused palm slotted in perfectly with your own. As he pulled you past everyone’s house, stopping in front of his own you almost gave in, too tired to fight back. Instead he quickly went in and came out with two bowls of what you assume is stew. You quickly grabbed the bowls before he could spill them on his climb down. Once more, he grabbed his bowl, then your hand, and pulled you towards the spring.

The crystal water lapped at your feet after you pulled your boots and socks off, curling your toes in the pristine sand. Both you and Link sat in silence as you ate, the starry sky peaking through the trees that swayed with the small breeze. Slowly, you found your body unwinding, each tense muscle coming loose with each small wave of the spring. The stew was good as well, filling your stomach with something other than the basics you had been forcing yourself to eat. You scowled into your bowl when you realized you were feeling better than you had in a long time, and that always seemed to be when Link was by your side. 

Like he could sense your thoughts, he scooted closer to you, arm to arm, nearly thigh to thigh. Lifting your gaze, you were met with his worried one. His eyes searched your face like he was deciphering a language only he could…and in a sense maybe that was true. With a full belly and an exhausted body and mind, your eyes started to droop and you leaned against the blonde next to you. No matter what, he was still Link, still your childhood friend that you grew up with, and you’d always cherish him. 

“I missed you,” He muttered, gently brushing away any hair that managed to fall onto your face.

“I missed you too,” You mumbled back, the warmth of his body inviting you into a peaceful sleep. A comforting silence had fallen over you both, making it harder for your struggle to stay awake.

“I love you,” Was all your mind could barely comprehend before you fell unconscious. 

When you awoke the next morning, you half expected to be by the spring with a sleeping Link by your side. But to your disappointment you were in your room. Of course, being the gentleman he is, he carried you home and even tucked you in. You’d have half the mind to be embarrassed, but this was Link we’re talking about. You both had done and said more embarrassing things around each other than you’d like to admit. And when you opened the curtains you nearly had a heart attack realizing you were late as the sun had already risen a good amount. You shuffled around the room and put on your clothes, trying to ignore the thought that Link had undressed you for your comfort the previous night. Stumbling into your last boot, you ran as fast as you could, ignoring your rumbling stomach in favor of not getting scolded. (Not that Fado would actually scold you, if anything he’d be thanking Ordona for letting you rest a bit). 

Arriving at the ranch, apologies lining your tongue, you felt your mouth drop at the sight of all the Links already at work. The smallest Link, Wind, if you remember correctly, dropped his crate at the sight of you and ran over. You winced, hoping that the crate didn’t contain eggs or glass, but got sidetrack as the young boy smiled brightly at you, asking a ton of questions right out of the gate. 

“Good morning! Did Twi go out with you last night? What did y’all do? He seemed pretty happy when he came back. How did you both meet? Are you both–” Wind was quickly cut off as an older Link approached with a stern look. 

“Wind, you know better than to toss crates around,” Time scolded. “And don’t overwhelm the young one with too many questions. Now go and finish stacking those crates.” With a pout, the kid gave you one last look before dashing back to his previous task, leaving you and the older male alone. Helplessly, you watched all the chores you typically get done ten times faster than you’ve ever seen, feeling unsure what to do without work. Seeming to sense your cluelessness, Time spoke up once more, mentioning that Twilight had stayed behind at his house. And so, you found yourself wandering over, only to pout this time. Link was watching Talon’s new skills with the sword, all the village kids watching them both. 

Beth had spotted you first, shouting your name and waving at you with a giant smile, “Look! Link’s back and he’s gonna spar with Talon!” “Spar?” You repeated as you blinked. Talon was in no way shape or form ready to spar yet, but Link had a sparkle in his eye that only spelled mischief when your gazes met. Talon was jumping up and down, excited to not only see Link again, but to do something you had been holding off on. With a resigned sigh, you only shook your head, letting out a short ‘okay.’ The two got into a fighting stance, and you had to fight the itch to correct Talon’s incorrect posture. Instead, you continued to watch from the sidelines as Link let Talon start with the first strike. The skill difference was obvious, and it was clear that Link was going easy, but in the end, Talon ended up knocked to the ground. And as you expected, Talon complained, waving off his own mistakes and pinning it onto someone or something else. To your surprise, instead of asking for a rematch, Talon ran off with his friends following shortly after. 

Bumping your shoulder slightly, Link drew your attention back to him, a boyish smile resting on his lips. After all this time, all the hardships he went through, he still managed to have a young air around him. You weren’t sure how he did it. You reciprocated the gesture, bumping into his shoulder slightly harder. 

“I don’t know what to do,” You couldn’t help but confess. “All the work is getting done and I feel like I should be doing something.” Link looked up with a hum, tapping his chin in thought for a few seconds. That cunning grin once again settled on his face before he grabbed your hand and sprinted towards the springs. 

“The springs, again?” You asked with a short laugh. “Didn’t we do this last night?” You felt your skin prickle as he sent you a devious look, picking you up like you were nothing and tossing you into the water. Thankfully, he threw you into the deeper part, or else that fall would’ve surely hurt. Wiping the water from your eyes, you sent the man your best glare you could muster, grabbing the front of his tunic and pulling him in further. In retaliation, he sent a wave of water at your face with a chuckle. With a huff, you tried to do the same, but the wave wasn’t as big as you’d like it to have been and you both laughed. You felt the darkness that had enveloped your heart slowly melt away as both you and Link played like you used to when merely children. Something you had missed dearly in the past few years. 

As your playful fight slowed, you couldn’t stop yourself from watching Link, or how the water fell from his hair and dripped back into the spring. The last three words he muttered last night rung back through your head. All the love and adoration you held for him gathered into a pool, ready to spill past your lips, and who were you to fight that? Not you, you thought as you eyed his lovely smile, one you would die for. 

“I love you,” You stated, heart beating wildly as Link turned to face you. At first he looked at you with shock, but that melted into pure warmth and affection as he waded closer. So close that you felt your body warm at the mere thought of his touch, felt your heart quiver in anticipation for his next move, and stomach flutter with all the love you held. 

It was silly. When you were younger, you recalled that you’d pretend to be his spouse and play house. How you stated you’d both get married someday, and how he would always go along with your nonsense. You said all those things with your full chest before, but now saying your true feelings felt like a battle. It made everything more real, and as you grew older you assumed he had never taken your childish ramblings seriously. Yet you seemed to be proven wrong as he gently cupped your face with one hand, the touch sending heat blazing throughout your entire being. As he leaned in closer, you closed your eyes, expecting a kiss…only for him to nuzzle your nose with his own. Yet the disappointment was drowned with the fuzzy butterflies that flew in your stomach at such an intimate act. One so loving and pure. 

Link’s actions screamed volumes louder than any words could as he littered both your cheeks, forehead, nose, chin, or anywhere he could reach with kisses. A bittersweet reminder of the day he came back after twilight had taken over. And just like that day, you reciprocated, this time with a heart full of light and happiness. Instead of ending it there, you pulled him in for a proper kiss, one you had wanted for as long as you could remember. He wasn’t as surprised by your actions as you wished he’d be as he reciprocated without hesitation. You didn’t mind his chapped lips, or the way you both kissed clumsily, because this was Link. Your Link. And you wouldn’t have him any other way.

And once you both pulled away breathless, ignoring how you both still stood in the spring with sopping wet clothes sticking to your skin, you took in the other's presence. The warmth you both offered each other, the happiness, the love, the need and the want. You were like two pieces to a puzzle, a part of you missing with the other gone. And in that moment, everything felt like it clicked into place. He may still need to continue his journey, but you knew that he’d always find his way back to you, just like he’d always know where to find you.

[welcometomytrashcan]

Before the Dawn: Chapter III // Logan Howlett

Logan Howlett x f!mutant!reader Chapter 3/4 Read Chapter 2 here Word Count: 1369

Background: You are a mutant with hydrokinetic abilities (think Percy Jackson meets the mermaids from H2O), and arrived at the X-Mansion 4 months before Logan. You started dating Logan after the events of X-Men but before he left for Alkali Lake. You are both in love with each other but have yet to confess it. Takes place within the events of X2, Canon violence, pre-established relationship

With adrenaline pumping through your veins, you and Logan sprinted through the collapsing base. The roar of the dam’s crumbling structure echoed through the metal corridors, water already starting to flood certain sections. But that wasn’t your focus. Right now, you had to find Stryker and stop him—once and for all.

As you stepped outside, you spotted Stryker near a helicopter, preparing for takeoff. Logan moved fast, grabbing Stryker by the throat and slamming him against the helicopter, driving his claws into his sides.

Stryker screamed in agony.

"How does it feel, bub?" Logan growled.

Stryker gasped, "Why did you come back?"

"You cut me open. Took my life. You tried to take Y/N's too," Logan snarled.

Stryker managed a twisted smile. "You make it sound like I stole something. You volunteered for the procedure. As for Y/N... I wasn’t going to pass up that opportunity."

Logan's claws dug in deeper, and Stryker winced.

"Who am I?" Logan demanded.

Stryker smirked. "You're a failed experiment. If you knew your past—the kind of person you were, the work we did—you’d know people don’t change. You were an animal then, Wolverine. You still are."

Stryker glanced at you with a cold grin. "He’s still an animal now."

He turned back to Logan. "I just gave you claws."

Suddenly, an alarm blared from the distance. The ground trembled as the sound of metal screeching and concrete cracking filled the air.

"What the hell is that?" you asked, alarmed.

Logan pressed his claws deeper into Stryker, demanding, "What is it?!"

"The dam’s ruptured," Stryker said through clenched teeth. "It’s going to flood the spillway. It’s too late. In a few minutes, we’ll all be underwater."

You and Logan exchanged a tense look. Stryker glanced between you both, sneering. "You can’t save your friends. They’re as good as dead."

He turned back to Logan. "You’re a survivor. Always have been."

Logan’s face hardened. "I thought I was just an animal—with claws. If we die, you die."

Without hesitation, Logan ripped his claws out of Stryker and shoved him against the helicopter’s wheel, securing him with a chain. You stepped forward, melting the snow beneath him and freezing it again, pinning him to the ground.

"We have to find the others," you said urgently, pulling Logan’s attention back to the base. The rumble of the dam breaking grew louder.

As you started to walk away, Stryker shouted after you both. "There are no answers that way!"

Ignoring him, the two of you raced back toward the base. Jean, Scott, Storm, the students—they all needed to get out before the dam collapsed completely.

The base was shaking violently by the time you reached the others. They were about to head down a pathway that would’ve led them to certain death. Logan thrust his claws into a control panel, slamming a door shut.

"You don’t want to go that way," you called out. "Follow us!"

You helped guide the group back outside, everyone moving as quickly as they could through the snow. But when you reached the spot where the helicopter had been, it was gone.

"Damn it," Logan muttered, scanning the horizon. Panic started to creep in, but then, through the clouds, you saw it—the jet. Rogue was at the controls, with Bobby helping her.

The jet descended, wobbling dangerously as Rogue struggled to keep it steady.

"She’s not going to make it," you said, fear creeping into your voice.

Rogue managed to land the jet roughly onto the ground.

"Go help them onto the jet!" Logan ordered, his tone sharp but firm. "I’ll catch up."

"What about you? What are you—"

"I need to take care of something," he interrupted. "Go."

Reluctantly, you nodded and ran toward the others, helping them board the unstable jet. Despite the chaos, you kept it together, focused on getting everyone to safety.

Once everyone was aboard, you glanced back and saw Logan confronting Stryker again. Stryker was chained up, thanks to Magneto, and Logan stood below him.

"Who has the answers, Wolverine?" Stryker taunted. "Those people? That creature you’re with?"

Logan didn’t reply. He glared up at the man who had ruined his life, the man who had turned the woman he loved into his own weapon. “I’ll take my chances,” Logan spat, tearing off his dog tags and dropping them at Stryker’s feet before turning his back on him.

As Logan walked away, Stryker shouted after him. "One day, someone will finish what I started, Wolverine! One day!"

Logan jogged back to the jet, leaping inside just as the ground shook violently beneath you. The dam was about to burst.

"Are you okay?" you asked as he rejoined you, your hand brushing down his arm in comfort.

Logan gave a small nod. "I am now."

He planted a firm kiss on your forehead.

"Come on, get us out of here!" he called, strapping himself in.

Storm and Scott scrambled to start the jet, but the engines sputtered and failed. The cabin filled with tension as everyone realized that the water was coming fast.

“Why isn’t it working?” you yelled, fear rising in your throat as the water rushed toward the jet.

And then, in the chaos, Charles’ voice softly called out. “Jean?”

You looked around, suddenly realizing Jean was missing. Panic gripped you, and you shot a glance toward Scott, who was frantically looking around as well.

“She’s gone,” Scott muttered, his voice strained. “Jean… where is she?”

You bolted to the back of the jet, searching for any sign of her. Your heart pounded in your chest as you screamed, “Jean! No! You can’t do this!”

But as you reached the door, it slid shut in your face. Through the window, you saw her standing outside, her eyes glowing with power, her face set in grim determination.

“No!” Scott yelled, banging his fists against the glass. “Jean! Don’t do this!”

You felt a pang of guilt slice through your chest. You could’ve helped. You could’ve used your powers to manipulate the water, to do something. But your leg was still weak from the earlier fight, and you weren’t strong enough to control the water currents. You hadn’t been at the school long enough to master your abilities. I could’ve helped her…

Outside, Jean’s powers surged, and she lifted the jet with her telekinesis, guiding it into the air. The water from the dam swirled around her, bending to her will. She was holding back an entire flood.

You pressed your hands against the glass, tears streaming down your face as you tried to reach out with your powers. “Jean!” you called, but your voice was lost in the roar of the flood.

Scott’s voice broke, trembling with anguish. “Jean… please.”

But it was too late. With a final, heartbreaking glance at Scott, Jean guided the water around the jet, holding it at bay just long enough to save you all. The jet soared into the air, leaving Jean behind.

You searched desperately for her in the water, your hydrokinesis pushing you to the limit. But with the blood loss from your leg and the overwhelming force of the current, you couldn’t sense her. You weren’t strong enough.

As the jet ascended higher, the reality of what had just happened sank in. Jean was gone. And it was your fault. You should’ve been able to do something. You could’ve saved her.

The silence in the jet was deafening. Scott collapsed into his seat, his face pale and stricken with grief. You sat down, staring blankly at the floor, guilt clawing at your insides.

“I could’ve helped her,” you whispered, more to yourself than anyone else. Tears streamed down your face, and the weight of Jean’s sacrifice pressed heavily on your chest.

Logan placed a hand on your shoulder, his voice low. “It wasn’t your fault.”

But you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was. You’d failed her. You’d failed Logan. And now Jean was gone because of it.

The jet flew through the sky, but the atmosphere inside was heavy with grief and guilt. The battle wasn’t over, but as you sat there, surrounded by your team, you couldn’t help but feel that you’d already lost.

Tag List: @spacemacandcheese @oscarissac2099 

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

ROMANTIC WHUMPEE X WHUMPER DIALOGUE PROMPTS

trigger warnings: NSFW, violence, abuse, rape, power imbalance (everything in here is entirely fictional meant to serve as ideas for writers. I do not condone any of these in real life in any way, also I'm titling the post 'romantic prompts' due to the characters' romantic relationship, not because the prompts are supposed to be 'romantic or cute')

❝it's cute you think they can hurt you like I do.❞

❝you're not leaving me, and if I can't make you stay by words, I'm gonna do it by force.❞

❝are you gonna kill me like you killed those people?❞

❝you're gonna bleed to death if you don't let me help you. I am not asking. stop fucking squirming.❞

❝do I have to chain you up?❞

❝you like that, huh? being fucked on the floor by a sworn enemy and not being able to do anything about it.❞

❝friendly reminder, I own you.❞

❝you're only alive because I let you. don't forget that I could change my mind any second.❞

❝don't think I won't fuck you like an animal right here in front of everybody.❞

❝scream all you want. no one's coming, and I do like hearing you cry.❞

❝is this the only reason you're keeping me alive? because you want to break me more? come on, we both know you can't live without me.❞

❝make any noise and I'll slit your throat.❞

❝no, I had a chance to escape you. I didn't. you've made me love you, and for that, fuck you.❞

❝I hate that I could never hate you.❞

❝this is not a home. it's a prison.❞

❝if I'm ever going to die, and want it to be by your hands.❞

❝I need you to fucking look me in the eyes and say you won't run away again.❞

❝you're not safe with me. I'm scared of what I might do to you if I let the demons win, and I'm scared one of these days they're gonna win.❞

❝I am the only person who can hurt you.❞

❝I won't chase after you, because I know you'll come crawling back to me, you always do.❞

❝I fantasize about my hands around your throat, looking you in the eyes as I twist the knife.❞

❝I know you wish you could kill me and I know you wish you could hate me. but I'm the only person who understands you and I know you need me.❞

❝my only mistake was falling in love with you.❞

❝has anyone ever told you how pretty you are when you cry?❞

❝you can't kill me. I'm already dead.❞

❝you've had that chain around my throat since the day we first met.❞

❝it'll hurt less if you stay still.❞

[bullet-prooflove]

Love <3 Starters

"i know you think you’re all alone out there, but you’re not"

Mitch Ripley

Tagging: Tagging: @kmc1989 @spaghettificationandpretzels @mini-bee-bee @mandy426 @jareaulamontagnes

Seperation!Series:

Marley 2.0 - Mitch doesn't realise your hiding a secret from him.

Not Your Problem - Mitch feels you pulling away from him.

Pill Popping - Mitch confronts LJ about what happened in St Clair.

Not Enough - Mitch realises he won't ever be enough for you after you reveal what happened in St Clair.

Therapy Sessions - Mitch talks through his issues with his counsellor.

Hollow - Mitch returns home to an empty house.

Mitch finds you in the park you used to play in as a child. You’re sitting on the swing in a navy blue quilted jacket that used to belong to him, your hands holding onto the chains as it rocks to and fro in the breeze.

It’s the place you come to when your world’s in turmoil, somewhere with happy memories where nothing can harm you. You don’t say anything when he sits down on the swing alongside of you, you simply stare straight ahead at the duck pond as the drizzle soaks your hair.

“Your mom called.” He says breaking the silence. “She told me what happened today.”

Your jaw clenches as you inhale sharply and he realises in that moment that you’re trying not to cry.

“It was a rural hospital.” You say finally, using the back of your hand to wipe the teats from under your eyes. “They weren’t equipped for the kind of complications I was having.”

If you’d been in Chicago when you miscarried, the procedure probably would have been completed with minimal scarring. Instead you’d had a junior doctor who was undertaking his first D&C alone and fucked things up so badly that you’ve just discovered that you couldn’t have children, no matter how much you may want them.

“I’m sorry.” He says softly. “I know it feels like you’re alone right now but you’re not…”

You laugh then and the sound it cuts through him like a scalpel because it’s just so fucking bitter.

“I don’t have a husband Mitch. I don’t have a baby. I can’t even have a family anymore which is the reason we split up in the first place.” You remind him, your eyes filled with anguish as you tilt your head to look at him. “There’s just me right now, screaming into the fucking void because God has found every single way he can to fuck me.”

Mitch raises from his swing and crouches down in front of you. His hands encompass your chilled features, his thumbs chasing away the frustrated tears that leak down your cheeks.

“Marley, you have me.” He tells you fiercely. “You have me right here fighting in your corner, and I will always be here whether we’re together or not. None of this changes how I feel about you, none of this stops me from loving you as much as I do.”

“That’s easy for you to say now that children have been taken off the table.” You tell him. “I’m the perfect woman for you now aren’t I? The wife that can’t bear children. It’s exactly what you what you wanted.”

“No Marley, it’s not.” He promises you, his voice so fucking earnest it wounds you. “I want to start a family with you, I was just too scared of fucking of it up. I was letting my past mess with my head and I’m working through that but you have to know that I never wanted this, I never wanted any of this to happen to you.”

It’s raining harder now, the droplets soaking the two of you as Mitch’s forehead against yours.

“Take me home Mitch.” You whisper against his lips. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[ringsreforged]

Natalie's *deep* Haladriel thoughts - BEWARE

Pau - When you read this later, let me know if you want me to move it to my personal account, yeah? If it even still exists...

I’m not really sure what this post is going to end up being. A defence of the show and the separation? In part! A critique of the show based off leak spoilers and my own gut feeling? For sure! A desperate ramble in an attempt to get my head in order? Absolutely!

I will say before we dive in that I’m absolutely a Haladriel shipper, but the way I ship isn’t always in line with fandom. I ship what I see as part of the narrative because it’s the narrative, and everything else is a bonus. I make this distinction because I think this is why I’m so okay with a lack of scenes when some others are not, and I don’t want to come across preachy. I don't think I'm in any way superior for this by the way. In fact, I wish I could be more *normal*!!!!

If you came to this show for Haladriel alone, and simply want to see them share scenes week to week – that’s your prerogative. I’m not trying to say you shouldn’t feel that way. What I might try to say is that I don’t think that makes the shows bad or suggests that the writers have baited with this relationship. I think that’s ultimately what I find frustrating…

But anyway, let’s get into whatever this is. A reflection on expectations, a five-season arc, and those STUPID spoiler leaks…

AND THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. STAY AWAY. HISS.

Alright, so this post is mostly brought to you by a sinking feeling I have that the leak spoilers are real. Because everything in that episode 7 promo matches up.

STOP READING if you don’t want to know the spoilers. And honestly? STOP READING IF YOU THINK YOU WANT TO KNOW because living with this knowledge has truly made this season less enjoyable for me (credit to it, then, because I still think it’s incredible). IF I’M MAKING YOU PANIC, STILL STOP READING because there very much is a world where these spoilers aren’t that bad in context…but I prefer to keep my expectations low…

Have you gone???

HAVE YOU GONE?????

SPOILER TALK

Okay.

So, the leak spoilers say that there is no kiss between Sauron and Galadriel (which, honestly, I have no great issue with – more to come on that later). Instead, the kiss is ELROND AND GALADRIEL, and I absolutely do take issue with this.

I can only hope and PRAY that it works in context, but I can’t get my head around it. And yet, the promo…it’s all falling into place. Elrond will be sent to discuss terms with the orcs before the battle. He’ll see Galadriel in chains, and he’ll ask for a moment to say goodbye. Adar will allow it because he’s a gent like that. This is where we get the chin touch with the thumb everyone speculated over and then…HE LEANS IN AND KISSES HER TO PUT A NEEDLE IN HER MOUTH? SO SHE CAN RELEASE HERSELF LATER??

To clarify, most of this is my spec, but THE KISS TO PASS HER A NEEDLE IS A REAL LEAKED SPOILER THAT NO LONGER SEEMS FAKE.

It's just…so convoluted and weird??? Does he store needles in his mouth like a squirrel? Why couldn’t he have slipped the needle into her hand??? WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ELROND’S LIPS ON GALADRIEL’S?

And look, maybe this spoiler IS still fake! But the details were so specific, and everything about the context seems to be accurate, so that feels like it would be a bonkers coincidence to me. Maybe when we actually see it play out, it will be fine.

But that does bring me back to the Haladriel of it all, just briefly. With my whole heart, I do not need them to kiss. After season 1, I didn’t think it would be possible, and I’m okay with that. But if you’re willing to let ELROND’S lips touch her, then MY GOD, you could have let Haladriel have ONE kiss where she’s trying to distract him or some shit. OOF.

My only relief is that it happens next week, so we can hopefully get it out of our systems and enjoy the finale.

That said, if these leaks are true then that also means the finale leaks are true. Now, I actually never wanted to see any of these spoilers (hence me making it VERY CLEAR what this post is about, because I wouldn’t inflict this stress on anyone unwillingly), so once I got the Elrond kiss details, I tried to get away without seeing much else. But there was some information on the big Haladriel scene.

I’m actually not going to detail it here, because – overall – I think we’ll still super enjoy it (just…lower those kiss expectations) AND because I don’t think all of it was spoiled. At the end of the day, there will be plenty to unpack, they’ll be back on our screens, it will be meaty, it will be layered. I’m really looking forward to it, in general.

My one fear is that it’s a season 1 finale repeat. And again, that won’t necessarily be bad per se, but it will feel a little bit underwhelming. Now, I’m not somebody that wants a true corruption arc for Galadriel. Normally, I love that shit, but not in this IP and not with this character. I want to see her explore her darkness, I want to see her face it and accept it, and I certainly want to see her be tempted…but I don’t expect or believe we'll ever actually get the whole ‘dark queen of Mordor’ vibe. Prisoner? Maybe. But not an actual dark queen.

That said…surely this scene doesn’t play out the EXACT same way as season 1? Sauron shows her a vision, she’s tempted, but ultimately resists and tells him she’ll never be at his side. I just don’t get why we’d repeat that, when there are so many other options that still keep Gal on the side of light.

I keep coming back to Galadriel’s line to Elrond in episode 4 – when it comes down to it, he has to choose to defeat Sauron and sacrifice her. I feel like if I hadn’t seen the leaks, then I would be 1000% expecting this to be the outcome. Especially with how Elrond’s theme comes in at the end of The Last Temptation track. He comes upon the confrontation but chooses to do the thing that will harm Sauron in the long run, rather than the thing that will save Galadriel.

I hope so badly for this, but I do worry that it will go the other way. What if it parallels Gandalfanger’s destiny/friend choice, and Elrond chooses her because THAT is how light wins or some shit? Not that this will be a bad scene by any stretch – I love their relationship and want to see their FRIENDSHIP (grrrr) reforged…but, again, the S1 finale! Sauron left her in the water, and Elrond was there to save her.

There’s also Galadriel’s conversation with Adar in the most recent episode – you succumbed, I resisted – but I guess this could go either way? He succumbed, so she resists. She insists she’s able to resist, so she succumbs. URGH. MY HEAD.

There MUST be a difference. SURELY??? Like, this season has been so well written…I just can’t comprehend the copy and paste.

Again, this isn’t anything close to a deal breaker for me. I firmly believe the showrunners when they say this relationship will remain the core of the show, but…hmmm. Okay, on that note…

DAMAGE CONTROL – MOVING ONTO THE DEFENCE OF THE SHOW

So, this is where I want to get into some stuff that I just…don’t agree with that I’ve seen being thrown at the show by shippers. And I’ll reiterate here that I’m truly not telling anybody what to feel. You can hate the show for its choices and feel how you feel. You can express yourself in your social media spaces, and if anybody doesn’t like it they can mute/block/unfollow. This chunk isn’t really aimed at you guys.

This is more for other people like me, because I’m cursed to be somebody that generally wants to just…enjoy things for what they are, while also being susceptible to the mood of others. I want to scroll tags and have a good time, rather than see negativity because it lowers my mood (this isn’t just ship related by the way, I really love this show overall…it’s just this tag that has been impacting my mood most this season). Regardless of the nonsense that might be in episode 7, and even if the finale scene is a repeat of S1, I’m still going to want to focus on enjoying what we get, enjoying the narrative being told etc. So, for those of you that have a little sinking feeling in your gut after the first half of this post, hopefully this second half will help.

This isn’t a ‘typical’ ship. This is a true ENEMIES ARE ENEMIES dynamic where the bad boy is ultimately going to be (is already) pure evil, and where our heroine is the embodiment of light. There are certain things that we just have to accept when it comes to loving this dynamic as part of the show – there will never be another season like season 1. Nor should there be?

Do I wish for s3 to have them in close proximity for at least a few episodes? Of course! Do I think it’s possible with or without finale spoilers? Absolutely (given how quickly characters travel from place to place on this show, they could end the season at opposite ends of Middle Earth and this would still be on the cards…). I’m also anticipating Season 4 as a good time for them to be in full MIND PALACE mode – where the rings are all ringing, but Galadriel hasn’t yet worked out how to shut him out yet. By season 5, there might just be one final scene before the final battle. But, again, I really do think there needs to be a little bit of acceptance of that. Or, at least, expectation of it.

Something I really want to push back against is this idea that Haladriel was baited or teased, but the writers don’t actually care for it. Honestly, that’s nonsense to me on a couple of levels.

First of all, almost EVERY dynamic this season has been reduced to a handful of scenes here and there. The most consistent relationships have probably been Annatar and Celebrimbor, and Durin+Durin+Disa (off the top of my head). Elrond and Durin (probably the other most popular dynamic of S1) have been apart all season, Elrond and Galadriel have too. Isildur popped up to say hello and we might not see him again.

When you actually stop and look at this season…Sauron and Galadriel had to be separated. She could not be anywhere near him while he’s working Celebrimbor, and there’s no world in which they were ever going to change that narrative. And yet, the Sauron and Galadriel dynamic has been consistent across the season. With Galadriel predominantly (and depending on how the finale goes, I may have thoughts on this), but it has also been easier with her because people have talked with her openly about Sauron. It’s been harder on his side, but the fact that Mirdania seems to have been cast to look like Galadriel honestly – right now – feels like it was done with the express purpose of giving Sauron a Galadriel reference.

Again, I’m not saying you have to like the lack of scenes, but it’s not bad writing to respect the overarching narrative of an ensemble show. Galadriel’s season has been all about him, and we’ve had countless insights to make that clear – building up to their final confrontation. If Sauron was running around mentioning Galadriel every five seconds with Celebrimbor or with the dwarves, it would be horrendously out of character.

This next comment is…somewhat dependent on the finale…but as somebody that loves Elendil and Miriel, everything in Numenor has been somewhat crammed in. I would firmly argue that the Galadriel/Sauron dynamic across this season has been treated with care and reverence, all building to a climax designed as the high point of the season. Will we be 100% satisfied? Who can say! But it IS what the season is building to.

I think this brings me around to a particular gripe I have, and maybe the people that believe this came to the show after S1 had fully aired or something…but there’s this idea floating around that the showrunners don’t like this dynamic and are just giving it crumbs to bait people into watching. This makes me want to scream.

These showrunners literally took a few lines about Galadriel being tempted by Sauron and PITCHED THE ENTIRE SHOW OFF OF THAT. The Tolkien estate wasn’t only pitched by Amazon BUT CHOSE THIS PITCH OVER ANYTHING ELSE. Season 1 was written pretty much like a prologue centred around GALADRIEL AND SAURON HAVING A PERSONAL CONNECTION WITH ROMANTIC UNDERTONES…and guess what?

They wrote all that…they filmed ALL THAT…before knowing anything about the audience reaction! That was ALL the showrunners, the writers, the directors, the actors. They ARE the narrative. They are not bait.

Does that mean the fundamentals of their dynamic will always please you, individually? No, of course not. Some people want outright romance, some people want soft Sauron, some people want Dark Galadriel. Will they kiss? I doubt it. Do I wish they would? Sure! Will they be separated again next season? Probably! Will I also wish that they could at least be stuck together for a run of episodes again? Absolutely!

But the idea that any of this is bait, or unimportant to the show drives me a little bit bonkers.

I guess my personal feeling of frustration comes from the fact that I feel so lucky they are exploring this show from the perspective of this dynamic, regardless of specific details/scenes. I’d bet my house (I don’t own a house) that every other pitch hinged on Elendil or Isildur as the protagonists of the show. Now, I love those dudes, but just IMAGINE? The fact that we’re on this path at all is still WILD to me.

ANYWAY, this is what happens when Paulina goes on holiday and I have nobody to ramble too. Sorry for the explosion, but I’ve been dreading the stupid kiss spoiler since I stumbled on it after EPISODE BLOODY 3 and so I needed to vent somewhere.

TL;DR: You are welcome to feel the way you feel, and if you hate everything you go right ahead, but maybe this makes sense to somebody. IDK. IDK.

[missadangel]

The Heart of Rome (Marcus Acacius x Reader)

All Chapter List

Chapter 2: The Letter

"Omnia, quae fiunt, eveniunt ut oportet; et si diligenter observaveris, hoc ita esse invenies." M. Aurelius

“Everything that happens, happens as it should, and if you observe carefully, you will find this to be so.”

The carriage shook from time to time as it traveled along the stony roads of the capital. Octavius was sitting across, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye as you peered out from under the curtain, eager to see where you were being taken. You had many questions, but you were hesitant to ask him directly. After all, in their eyes, you were just an ordinary woman with the status of a slave.

But as you watched outside, you realized that you were more fortunate than other women of the same status. Instead of being taken away in a cart like you, they were dragged, beaten, and forcibly taken away in chains.

As the carriage approached a huge rounded building, you opened your mouth in astonishment. It had to be the Colosseum, you had heard so much about it, but you never expected it to be this huge. This massive structure was so magnificent that it was truly pushing the limits of the human mind. It was fascinating, frightening, and amazing.

You stood in awe of the most intriguing structure on the streets of Rome until it disappeared from view. Then, with a sigh, you turned your head in the direction the cart was going. After passing insulas, temples, aqueducts, fountains, and gardens, you drove through a large wooded area. The car began to sway noticeably as the terrain shifted from stones to dirt and grass. Then, a large villa appeared in front of you.

Unlike the sand-colored villas in the Egyptian lands, this one was almost white and had a crimson herb-colored roof. At the entrance to the garden, the tall white columns holding up the roof were decorated with various figures and reliefs. It was extraordinarily beautiful, and as you looked around for a long time you were surprised to realize that Octavius had already gotten out of the cart and was waiting for you to come out.

"My lady," you were even more surprised when he offered you his hand.

You lifted the hem of your cloak and carefully stepped down from the carriage.

"I am not a lady, sir," you gripped the handle of your bag tightly instead of taking his hand.

Octavius withdrew his hand and looked at you in confusion.

"I know, I didn't want to address you as a slave, you are so much more."

On the outside, this burly man had a stern temperament that was not to be crossed, but he was very kind.

"That's all right, sir, I appreciate your kindness, may I ask you something if I don't overstep my bounds?"

He nodded.

“Why am I here? Why did the General buy me?”

Obviously, he didn't care about you for ten days, why did he suddenly remember you and bring you to his villa, you wondered.

"Ask him when he arrives, I was only supposed to bring you here, I must leave now as I have completed my mission."

"Sir!"

A middle-aged, chubby woman ran up to you, and from the way she looked at him, you realized that she knew Octavius very well. She was about to ask him something, but she turned her head and looked you up and down, her eyes wide with astonishment.

"A slave? Or did the emperors send her as a gift to our master again?"

You took a step back, your eyes wide with panic, and turned your head to Octavius.

A gift? What did she mean by that, you asked yourself.

“No, they didn't send her. The general bought her from the slaver,” Octavius stated firmly as he strode towards the carriage. "Show her to her room and make her comfortable. I have to go now."

"Yes, sir," she said, then turned her head to you.

But you were looking at the carriage speeding away, feeling abandoned by his departure.

“Hurry up, girl, inside with me. The General is almost here. You need to dress properly," she commanded, beckoning you with her hand.

You did as she said, and passed between the imposing columns, entered the garden with a large pool in the center which welcomed you with its sparkling water. The villa had a large courtyard and more than one garden. In the center of the square pool in this garden was a statue of Neptune holding a spear in his hand.

There were vines surrounding the tall white columns and short trees accompanying them, and in front of them, a fountain made of white marble. You listened to the sound of the water running through the fountain as you walked behind the woman. It seemed peaceful, but that was not exactly what you felt inside.

When you entered a small room, the woman called one of the other girls over. In this room, there were two wooden wardrobes and a large wooden chest. A young girl with red hair came running to you. The other woman grabbed you by the arm and looked at your clothes, her face disgusted.

“Dress this girl quickly, she must be ready before the master arrives,” she touched your hair and ran her fingers through it as if combing it. “She looks like she's had a bath, but her clothes look terrible, get rid of them when you're done,” she said as if giving orders. It was obvious that she was in charge of things here, maybe because of his age.

The girl opened the closet door and took out a white silk and tulle fabric. You took out your bag and put it aside, but you were not comfortable. After all, there was something very important in your bag.

"Are you nervous?" the girl asked you curiously when the other woman left.

"A little, but about what?"

"About spending the night with the General," she said, lowering her voice.

You looked at her in shock. ‘I'm certainly not here for that,’ your voice trembled with anger.

The girl let out a little sigh as she helped you get undressed. You felt uneasy, but she was so kind and gentle. ”He won't touch you anyway,” she opened the wardrobe and took a piece of fabric in her arm. “He’s never touched any of the girls the emperors have sent for him. They've all been sent away the next day."

"Why is that?" Your voice boomed in the small room, couldn't help but wonder why a man would refuse such a thing.

The girl laughed at your reaction, and you smiled back shyly. She stood in front of you, draped the wool fabric dress over your shoulders, letting it drop over your breasts, and tied it to the belt around your waist. Your arms and neckline were bare, and you covered your wrist with your hand, but it was clear she didn't care about the bruise. "Nobody's sure, but we think it might be because of his wife whom he divorced a long time ago. He's a noble and decent man. I'm sure he'll treat you well, just like he treats all of us.”

"He bought me, not the emperor," you stated assertively, tugging at the belt around your waist and trying to feel comfortable.

"Did he? That’s even more strange. He hasn't bought any new slaves for a long time." The girl touched your hair, combing it with her fingers and gathering a strand on the right side before fastening it with a thin hairpin. "But maybe it's because you are so beautiful," she said, smiling at you warmly. "Where are you from?”

"I grew up in Alexandria, but as far as I know, I am Roman, an orphan," you stated confidently. "You don't look like Roman though."

The girl smiled but her eyes held a hint of sadness. "I was taken as a captive of war at the age of fourteen, but I tried to escape, and the slaver beat me to death." She took a deep breath and continued. “I would have died on those cold cobblestones if he had not been kind enough to buy me and let me live in his villa here.”

You suddenly realized that your story didn't seem as bad as hers. You felt sorry for her.

"I apologize," you said sincerely.

She had a warm smile, and warm brown eyes, her hair was a mixture of red and orange, and she had freckles on her face, she was friendly and one of the nicest people you would meet in a long time. She touched your shoulder with a warm smile.

"The General isn't as harsh and ruthless as he seems. If he brought you here, he must like you. You're lucky."

“But he's never met me,” you said suddenly. There was no situation in which he could have liked you. In fact, he almost broke your wrist because he thought you were the enemy.

That's why you were worried. You wanted to believe he was a good man, but your instincts told you otherwise.

"I'm Norell, by the way," she said, smiling.

"I've never heard that name before," you said, raising your eyebrows.

"It means from the north. I'm from Scandinavia. Do you have a name?"

You wanted to tell her the name your uncle and his wife had given you, but the woman from earlier came over and scolded you both a little for stalling. When she tried to take your bag, you resisted strongly and held it in your arms.

She frowned at you and pointed to the bag, "It looks old and dirty. Put it where you will stay, out of my sight. Norell, show her where she'll be staying. I have to check the kitchen.”

"Yes, Tullia," she said as she led you out of the room. You touched your new clothes as you walked into another room. These clothes were ordinary clothes that any slave would wear, but for you they were unusual. You'd always worn men's clothes when you were with your uncle. You'd never let your hair hang over your shoulders outside the house. That's why you almost like dressing like that if you ignore the fact that your neck and shoulders are completely exposed.

"This way," Norell said, pointing to a room that was slightly larger than the last one. There were two mattresses a large wooden chest and a small closet in the corner. She pointed to one of the mattresses against the wall.

"You can sleep here.”

It wasn't the most comfortable option, but it was far superior to the beds in the Valetudinarium. You sat down and put your bag under the blanket. Meanwhile, she was observing you curiously.

"It's what's left of my family," you explained.

"Don't worry, I would never touch your things," she assured you. You trusted her, even though you'd only just met. But you'd promised your uncle about the letter, so you tucked it under the mattress when she left the room. You were eager to open it, but you wanted to make sure you were completely alone first.

While you were sitting there, you realized how tired you were. You didn't know if it was the effect of traveling with the ship, but your head still felt like it was shaking. Your body was almost collapsing when you noticed a cat outside the window.

Since you grew up in Egypt, you had a cat in your old house too, that looked just like this cat, was dark black with beautiful green eyes. You called it over with your hand, but it ran ahead, towards another garden in the courtyard so you ran excitedly to it.

As you followed her at a brisk pace, you couldn't fit through the gap the cat could, so you entered through the wooden gate of this separate garden, fortunately, it was open. It's a beautiful garden with many herbs, plants and flowers. You distinctly remember using the hypericum (St. John's wort) plant with your uncle on many occasions. This is a medicinal plant with healing properties. You sat on the grass and picked a bunch of hypericum. You crushed the leaves with your fingertips and rubbed the bruises on your wrist with the liquid that came out. Then the cat brushes its tail against your feet. You take her in your arms, sit her on your lap, and begin stroking her head feeling her soft hair under your fingers making you feel peaceful. But you were exhausted and could not keep your eyes open, so you lay down and closed them. 

As the general arrived at his villa, the sun was preparing to bid farewell to the capital of Rome. He had barely sat down since he stepped ashore. He was tired, yes, but also filled with an indescribable excitement. He tried to remember why or when he had felt this way for so long, but he couldn't even remember. He had been on the road for months, on his way to Egypt to put down the rebellion. He had finally succeeded, but it had exhausted him. Moreover, being assassinated and wounded on the way back, and having one of his soldiers mutiny while he was recovering, was not something an ordinary man could handle. He touched his wound through his leather armor and felt grateful to one who healed him. Even though his body was so tired, he was determined to meet this girl.

Tullia greeted him with a happy smile and ran to him.

“Sir! You're home at last! I sacrificed three pigs to Mars to ensure your safe return!”

Acacius smiled at her and stepped out of the carriage, his eyes fixed on the garden of his villa. "Tullia, the girl Octavius brought here today, I want to see her." His voice was firm and impatient.

"Yes, master, he did. She's inside. Come in."

Acacius strode into the garden, leaving the squire struggling to keep up. He looked around but couldn't find what he was looking for. "I don't see her, Tullia. Where is she?"

Tullia swallowed, "My lord, she was here. I'll find her," she said as she started to leave, but Acacius stopped her by raising his hand.

"Send her to my room and prepare my bath," he ordered, heading for the stone stairs leading to his room.

Everyone mobilized to find you at once and prepare their master's bath.

His squire entered Acacius's room and helped him remove his armor. Once he was finished, he left the room. Acacius removed the shin guards from his knees and took a deep breath, now wearing only his burgundy tunic. He felt relieved but still impatient and decided to go out onto the balcony to watch the scenery. He was thinking about you when he gazed at the gorgeous city in the distance. He smiled to himself as he recalled his first experience of falling in love. He had assumed that he would never feel that way again, ever since he had turned his back on love. He was convinced that Venus’s son Cupid would never grant him a new love. All this time he thought of himself as an unlucky lover, punished by Mars, the god of war. Mars had endowed him with the ability to fight, he wondered if it was because love could be his weak point. He was about to find out.

As he made his way inside, he noticed something in the garden below that caught his eye. He noticed a young girl with golden hair, resting on the green grass in the garden that bordered his chambers.

Acacius made his way down the stairs of his balcony, his heart beating faster with each step, filled with excitement and curiosity. As he made his way down the last step and drew closer to you, he was a little disappointed to see your eyes were closed. He was curious to see those eyes he'd seen in the tent before. He approached you and leaned in, looking at the beautiful girl sleeping peacefully, waiting for you to open your eyes, just as you were waiting for him then. He looked at your wrist and, gently grasping it, was pleased to see the bruises. His fingers matched the purple spots, as if they were meant to be there.

You felt pressure on your wrist where the bruise was. You opened your eyes, not because of the pain, but because you were already dreaming about it, remembering that moment. When you realized that his face was just a few inches away from yours, you opened your eyes wide in surprise. You wondered if you were still dreaming. His dark brown eyes had taken over yours, making it impossible to look away. Then his perfectly-shaped lips curled into a wide smile.

"So it was you," he said with soft voice.

You were rendered speechless. You attempted to rise to your feet, but he grasped your shoulders gently, maintaining eye contact with you.

"I made a mistake. I apologize," you mumbled.

"Mistake? You healed me, so there's no mistake or reason to apologize.” He smirked and stood up, holding out his hand. Despite your initial hesitation, you took his hand and got to your feet.

"I shouldn't have slept here like this," you said, embarrassed, as you shook your dress out to get rid of the leaves and dirt.

“It was such a treat to watch,” he smiled at your surprised face and turned around heading to the stairs. "Come with me," he beckoned you, not asking, but commanding.

You followed him without complaint, though your tension has increased. Acacius entered his room and waited for you to come in. As you entered from the balcony, you saw the armor he had just taken off on the right. Beyond that was a desk and chair, then a small table and two chairs, and in the other corner, a large bed and a closet.

Tullia came in with a tray of food, knocking on the door of his room first.

She opened her eyes in surprise when she saw you.

"I've been looking for you all over. What have you been up to?"

Before you could respond, he ordered, "Leave us alone and let me know when the bath is ready.”

“Yes master," she said, giving you a quick look before she left.

"Are you hungry?" he asked while pouring wine into a cup.

You shook your head no but it was a lie, your eyes were on the food, swallowing. He smirked, sat down in a chair, and took a sip of wine. "Sit," he indicated the chair opposite him with a gesture.

When you didn't, he frowned. "I know you're hungry. Come," he said, his voice unyielding this time.

You approached and sat across from him, avoiding eye contact meanwhile.

"Eat," he commanded, pointing to the spoon.

You took a spoonful of food you had never seen before, but it looked delicious. As soon as you put it in your mouth and swallowed, you felt the bite reach your empty stomach. Realizing how hungry you were, you quickly took another bite, surprised even by yourself.

He watched you closely, his eyes were on your hands. With a quick move, he grabbed your other hand gently, and placed it in his palm, as if measuring sizes. "These fingers are too thin to be a medicus," he muttered, looking at you. "How did you become a medicus? It must have been very difficult for you as a woman."

As you swallowed the morsel, he poured another glass of wine and handed it to you. You were taken aback by his unexpected politeness, but took the cup from his hand, then took a quick sip.

"My uncle taught me everything I know, sir," you confessed.

"This Medicus was your uncle?"

"He was, yes," you almost whispered, the mention of him having renewed your pain. He studied your face, reading your expression.

"May the Gods bless his soul and grant him sustenance in Elysium. I’ve never met him, but thanks to his knowledge I am still breathing, I will be grateful to him until the last moment of my life.”

As he speaks, you sense a sincerity in his voice that helps to ease your pain a little. You are surprised that you do not feel the same resentment towards him as you did before. His words seem to console you.

“You're not his slave, then. Who are you?"

He looked at you with unwavering eyes, waiting for your answer.

“I am Aya the orphan, a girl who was found on the banks of the Nile when little and raised by the man I called uncle, sir,” you stated frankly, but he appeared perplexed.

Acacius leaned back, still looking at you ‘Aya’ he murmured himself. ‘It's a name I've never heard before, I wish to know its meaning.’ He crossed his arms.

“This name I was given to me by my uncle and his deceased wife means ‘miracle.’ I believe they thought I was sent to them by the Gods.” You looked at him, feeling uneasy. “I think it’s-.”

“It's beautiful,” he completed your sentence in his way, and you took another sip from your cup, feeling his eyes still on you.

“You said you were an orphan? You don't know your mother or father? Your uncle must have found out why they abandoned you in the river.”

You shook your head, you didn't know, but he didn't seem to be satisfied with that answer. He put his cup down on the table, then stood up and walked over to you.

"Your uncle, or the man who found you, raised you as a medicus until this age. You probably had to wear men's clothes all the time. He let you live as a man, not as a woman. More, he never wanted you to marry a man," you noticed that he said the word 'marry' in a different tone. You felt like he was interrogating you also startled as he knelt beside you. "Like he's hiding you from something or someone.”

He was waiting for an answer, but his face being so close made you tense up. You had to take a moment before answering him.

“I was pleased with helping other people, curing them as a medicus, sir. He never forced me to do anything I don’t want to.” You were confident and sincere, and he could hear it in your tone.

He stood up abruptly, “I see,” he murmured still thinking about it. There was a knock at the door. They informed him that his bath was ready. "I want you to accompany me," he said suddenly, his smile making your heart race but you were trying to figure out the best way to decline his offer gently and respectfully.

"Sir, I-“

“Since I’m so tired, I want you to help me bathe, and as my medicus, you should check my wound, right?”

"That makes me your medicus as well as your slave," you frowned at him.

He approached you with a bold move that made you jump, but he had a mischievous look on his face. "I'm gonna have to get completely undressed for both, so."

Your cheeks flushed and you tried to look away, but you knew he was right and you hated it.

He opened the door and gestured for you to follow him, you took a deep breath and followed him. Norell smiled when she noticed you going downstairs, but you couldn't smile back, following him to the bathhouse made you nervous.

As you moved from the courtyard to the other, to the west wing, you could tell by the smells that the kitchen was there. It’s because of the hot water circulation, just opposite the kitchen was the balneum (small bath house). There was no separate bath house in your uncle's small house, so you had to go to the Egyptian bath house three or four times a week to bathe.

Tullia pushed the door open for you two to enter. Acacius told her to leave you two alone and closed the door after you entered. The hot water was ready, and the balneum was filled with the scent of various oils and essences that dissipated in the steam with the heat of the water. Since you were well-versed in herbs, you could easily tell which scents belonged to which flowers by their aroma.

When you saw Acacius heading for the bathtub, you clenched your dress in your hands. It was scorching hot inside and you were sweating buckets. He turned to you, and you knew from the look in his eyes that he was asking you to come closer. You walked towards him, trying your best not to think about anything else but his wound. He grabbed your fingers and led them to the hem of his burgundy tunic, making you grasp it. He watched you patiently as you tried to stay calm, pulling the tunic up to check his wound. He seemed to enjoy it when he noticed you were tense.

“I need to take it off completely. Could you?" he said in a soft, gentle voice.

You took a deep breath and pulled the tunic from his head with trembling hands, letting it fall to the ground, trying to ignore the fact that he was completely naked in front of you. You concentrated on his abdomen where his wound was, trying not to look down at his lower parts. As your fingers traced his abdomen to check his wound, his eyes wandered over your face, admiring your beauty.

“It is almost completely healed on the surface, sir, but it may take a little longer to heal completely from the inside. If you feel any pain or inflammation, I may need to make a herbal ointment,” you said as your eyes caught by his.

He brought his face closer to yours and you felt the heat radiating from his lips. You could feel the steamy air and your sweat making your dress a little damp. His hot breath caressed your neck, making your heart race and you almost gave yourself to him to take you, but you managed to pull yourself back.

Acacius chuckled, turned, and sat down in the bathtub. The water rose with his weight, and some flowers floating on the surface hit the edge.

He seemed to relax, threw his head back, and closed his eyes, making a gesture with his hand.

“Rub my back a little, maybe your soft, healing hands can take away some of the pain.”

“That sounds more like the work of a slave than a medic," you muttered, he ignored you but you could see his lips curl into a half smile.

When you touched his shoulders with your fingers he sighed, you tried not to care but he seemed strangely pleased, a soft moan escaping his lips as you rubbed in gentle strokes. Your eyes traced the scars on his body, wondering how he got them.

“The God Asclepius must have endowed you with his healing powers," he purred. How can I repay the owner of these fingers that healed me?”

Suddenly, you stop rubbing his back and glare at his face behind his partially curly and gray hair, trying to think of something to say.

“I wish you would set me free," you bit your lower lip, wondering if it was too much to ask.

Acacius opened his eyes. "You have no family to go to, do you wish to return to your home and live all alone?

He was right. Even if you went back to your home, you wouldn't have an uncle or anyone to live with. You had to face this truth and you hated it. He turned his head to you, "Shall I give you a chance to choose?”

You tilted your head to look at him, the steamy air making your throat dry.

“If you don't want to be my slave, why don't you live here as my medicus? I am a soldier and a warrior, I may need your help in the future.” As he turned his body fully towards you in the tub, some of the squashed water ran out and soaked the hem of your dress.

“Wouldn't you stay here to heal me?”

“But I am a woman, sir, I cannot be a medicus, no one would call me that.”

“As long as you are under my roof, you will be called that,” he said in a reassuring tone.

“But I will remain your slave outside this roof?”

“You will, yes.”

“And will you set me free one day?”

“No,” he said loudly, his voice echoed off the marble walls.

When you sighed and pouted, his large hand cupped your chin, then slowly slid to your neck to your shoulder, moving to the fabric of your dress, clearly trying to gauge your reaction meanwhile. You grabbed his hand and stopped it as he peeled the fabric over your shoulder, "I choose to be your medicus, not your slave, sir.”

“Very well,” Acacius snickered, grabbed your wrist this time, and looked closely at the bruise. “It seems to be healing,” his fingers rubbing your bruise, somehow you didn’t feel angry, you liked it when he touched you with his big strong fingers like only they can heal it.

“I won't touch you against your will,” he assured you. Then he pulled his hand away and laid back, closed his eyes again. “You may leave now,” he said coldly as if trying to calm himself.

You were grateful, but you couldn't ignore the feeling of his absence on your skin. But you did as he said, left him alone in the balneum and went out. You shivered as the fresh air hit your almost wet body as Norell approached you with dry and clean clothes in her arms.

“Is he coming out?”

“No, he asked me to leave him alone.” You wiped the sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand.

That night in your new room under the roof of your new home, after a long talk with her, you waited patiently for Norell to fall asleep, but your eyes were so heavy you couldn't keep them open any longer.

You were planning to open the letter when you woke up, but you never got around to it. It was not as easy as it seemed to be alone in this big villa.

But since you saw the General leaving the house in a hurry in the morning, you knew his room was the best place to be. No one could get into his room while he was away, and this was your only chance. You were told he would be back late in the evening, so you had time to open the letter.

You weren't sure what to expect, but you were determined to find out. You considered the possibility that your true family might be wealthy or even royal. But why did they want to push you away or abandon you? What did the previous emperor's seal mean? Why did he seal with his own? Was it normal for him to put his own seal on every letter? There were so many possibilities and questions but you were tired of thinking. You were going to open it as soon as possible, find out everything, and move on.

In the villa, everyone was preoccupied with their morning chores, so it was simple to slip away unnoticed. You were already on a mission to collect the dirty laundry and bring it downstairs to the wash, so you had a good excuse if you got caught.

You strode into the general's room, took a quick look around, and put the dirty laundry he had taken off into the laundry basket in your hand. Then you put the laundry basket aside and sat down on the floor next to it. When you were sure that no one was coming, you took out the letter you had tucked between your chest and the fabric of your dress and started to read.

You took a deep breath, carefully pulled and removed the rope around the letter without harming the seal, then lifted it, which belonged to the previous emperor Septimius Severus, and opened the letter. You saw the letters clearly written in neat handwriting.

“My dearest child, my beloved daughter blessed with golden hair and hazel eyes. The irises of your eyes are a soft brown hue, with a greenish tint, as if they contained the nascent growth of spring.

Gazing into your eyes, I see Rome, the beautiful and prosperous days that await her. You bestow joy and fortitude upon me, enabling me to actualize this vision. It is my ardent aspiration to ensure your collective felicity and to witness your growth and prosperity. It has been a considerable span of time since I lost your mother, my esteemed wife, the resplendent Paccia Marciana. I am yet to fully acclimate to her absence, but I had to remarry because I had to have an heir. I don't want to offend you, my pretty, golden-haired daughter. I do not intend to accuse you of being a girl. I hope you won't misunderstand me child, but I'm afraid it's not possible for you to stay in Rome. Julia is not as understanding as your mother Marciana. My son Geta is even less so. He is a very cruel boy. I am concerned that when I ascend to the Gods to the Elysium and he is on the throne, he may be troubled by your presence and do you harm. I cannot allow them to harm you in memory of your mother, so I must send you away from them, away from all. I have placed my old friend Vibius, the medicus from my youth, in the land of Egypt. I believe you will be safe with him. It would be best for you to be as far away from here as possible. I truly hope that Geta will rule Rome well. I am not entirely certain, but I sincerely wish to believe that he will.

And I hope that when you are a young girl, reading this letter, you will understand my reasons for sending you away. You are my firstborn child, my only daughter with spring eyes and golden hair, the first of the name Septimia Aurelia, who brought blessings to Rome the year she was born. And you will always remain so my sweet child.

Your father,

Imperator Caesar Lucius Septimius Severus Pertinax Augustus.” 

You read each sentence again and again to make sure you hadn't read it wrong. Everything was correct. You closed your eyes and threw your head back, and you knew it was real, not imagined. You sat there, detached from time and reality, as tears rolled down your cheeks and dripped onto the letter you were holding with trembling hands. Your life began to pass before your eyes piece by piece, the lush green fields where you used to run around with joy as a little girl, the people you called uncle and aunt who raised you with love, always protecting you from the outside, keeping you away from other people, your uncle taking you on as an apprentice when you were very young and teaching you all his knowledge, buying you flashy girl's clothes on the condition that you only wear them at home when you wanted to wear them, insisting that you always wear a cloak when you went out in public, all of these were completed like the missing pieces that brought you back to where you belonged.

You wished you had never opened the letter, never imagining that the truth would hurt so much and leave you so helpless. You had no home to go to, your Empress mother and Emperor father were no longer alive. In their place were your Emperor brothers and their mother, your stepmother, and your father had warned you about them in no uncertain terms.

The word "Emperor" will forever hold a new meaning for you. Everything you knew, everything you learned, everything you lived, felt different now. But you were the same person. It was unreasonable to expect you to be anyone else, regardless of what your name was.

As you wiped away your tears, you heard voices outside and swiftly folded the letter back into its original shape. You didn't have time to hide it. Your first thought was to put it into the general's wooden chest full of papyrus, empty envelopes, and papers. You would come and get it later.

“What are you doing here?”

The last thing you expected to hear was the General's voice yet he was there, had opened the door looking at you curiously. He was wearing an all-white tunic, white leather armor and a white shawl that fluttered like angel wings in the wind behind his shoulders, all embroidered with gold. Seeing him like that you forgot the shock you just had, he was looking breathtaking. Suddenly you realized that you didn't answer his question, so you quickly picked up the basket. “I'm here to pick up the laundry, sir,” you said bowing your head, hoping he wouldn't be suspicious.

“I thought you chose to be a medicus and not a slave,” he said as he approached you. “Let the others do it, come with me now.” He grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of the room with a serious look on his face, hurried down the stairs, and stopped to call Norell out as he observed your clothes. "Dress her properly," he ordered.

While you were trying to figure out what was going on, Norell held your hand and led you to the dressing room to do his bidding. She opened the wardrobe took out some fabrics, all white, and placed them on a chair in the room. You couldn't help but ask when you saw that the clothes were different from the last time.

“Why am I wearing these?” you asked her curiously.

“Today's a bit special.”

You were startled to hear the General's voice just outside the door.

“And the color of the dress you're wearing has to match mine.”

How can I match his charm, you thought, it wasn’t possible.

You didn't mind being naked in front of Norell, but knowing the General was just outside the door made you a little nervous. Norell sensed your unease and giggled, then she helped you put on a white tunic, then a peplos (long dress) of the same color and a gold embroidered palla over your shoulders, then tied it around your slim waist and put the other part over your head. She was an expert, or so you felt because it was the first time you had ever worn this kind of dress. You felt as if the wish you had made as a little girl had come true. Norell combed your hair, first downwards and slightly side parted, then combed it again, then braided it, took a piece from the front left and twisted it round the back of your head. She secured the twist inside the braid by inserting a wire barrette inside the braid and finished the braid, letting it hang over one shoulder. When she was finished she looked at you and smiled, “You look beautiful. Now all that's left are the accessories.”

The General opened the door, he eyed you up to down, then grabbed your arm gently. He gestured to Norell, and soon she returned bearing a box containing a gold bracelet and assorted jewelry which produced a tinkling sound when she moved.

“Sir, these don't look like something a slave would wear,” you were surprised.

Acacius quickly put the bracelets on your upper arm and wrists. “My slave wears whatever I want,” he said firmly, his gaze fixed on you one last time, a confident smile on his face. You felt your cheeks flush, but the word ‘slave’ bothered you more than before. Yet you still couldn't be angry with the General, not when he was dressed like this.

“But where exactly are we going?”

“To the place where the ceremony will take place, then to the Colosseum. Come on, get your sandals on, we have to hurry.”

Norell appeared beside you, lifted your foot, and helped you quickly put on the sandals, despite your insistence.

“Looks pretty,” he pushed back a few strands of hair that had fallen on your forehead with a gentle touch then you weren't sure whether he was in a hurry or impatient, he put his arm around you and pulled you out of the courtyard with quick steps.

“I saw you leaving, this morning,” you said while Acacius tugged and pulled the shawl he was sitting on with his hands to feel comfortable.

He cleared his throat. “That’s right,” he looked at you. “I didn't want you to miss a day like this, so I came back for you,” he admitted. How could he be such a charming, gentle, and at the same time dangerous warrior? You also wondered how all your anger, all your resentment towards him had passed so quickly.

“I'm grateful, sir,” you said sincerely, he smiled at you.

As soon as the carriage entered the alleys of the Capitoline Hill, one noticed that the streets were full of people, just like yesterday. It was as if no one had returned home and spent the night on the streets. Soon as the carriage approached Via Sacra Street, you realized you were wrong, it was even more crowded than yesterday. In Egypt, such crowds only gathered on special occasions and religious festivals. However, you were not used to being in a crowd, walking freely in the streets, especially when you were dressed as a woman. Despite having resolved the queries that had troubled you since childhood, you still felt unfulfilled. It was not that you held any resentment towards anyone, but your father and uncle both tried to do you good in their way, but you still couldn't help feeling wronged. Somewhere deep in your heart, a voice kept telling you that something was wrong, and it grew louder with each passing moment. What your uncle had said to you kept echoing in your head. “You’re going to have to choose.”

But what were you going to choose? To go to your emperor brothers and explain everything and have them give you official recognition and hope that they don't kill you as a result, or to go back to Egypt as if nothing had happened and live as before, far away from everyone and everything?

“What makes you think so much? I wonder.”

At the general's voice, all your thoughts dissipated like a cloud of dust. You had almost forgotten that you were in the cart together and that he was sitting in the seat opposite you like a statue of a god.

“I'm a little nervous, sir,” you said honestly.

“Nervous about seeing the Colosseum for the first time?”

He was right, that was one of the reasons, but the real reason was the thought of seeing your half-brothers in the flesh.

“Yes,” you clenched the fabric of your dress.

“We'll be there after the ceremony, I'd love to have you with me but the slaves and others will be watching from the stands upstairs. I could ask the emperors for special permission for you to stand beside me, but I am concerned that your beauty will inevitably attract their attention,” there was not the slightest trace of humor in his voice. It would have worked in your favour, if you didn't feel ready to face your stepbrothers.

“Sir, it's not a problem really, I'll watch from where I'm supposed to be,” you said with a half smile.

“The more I can keep you away from them the better,” he murmured vaguely, peering out from behind the curtain. “Here we are.”

When the carriage stopped, the crowd's enthusiasm rose, Acacius stood up and came in front of you, a serious expression on his face as he reached for your hand and grasped it.

“It is no longer possible for me to hold your hand and for us to walk side by side, you can follow me at a distance.” He stroked your fingers with his thumb, withdrew his hand, and got out of the carriage.

You looked at him as he got out, his shawl fluttering in the wind behind him, caressing the steps of the cart.

“Sir!” Octavius ran towards him through the crowd, cheerful. You watched the two of them with their backs turned, talking to each other, the crowd chanting the General's name. Then they both turned their heads back towards you, Acacius nodded for you to come out, no one was looking at you anyway, and all the attention was on him, you took a deep breath and climbed down out of the carriage. Acacius and Octavius made sure you got out and began walking forward. As you walked behind them, keeping your eye distance, you could hear people talking and chanting. You couldn't help but wonder if one day if something happened and you sat on the throne as the emperor's daughter, would they cheer for you like that? You shook your head and tried to dismiss the absurd thought.

Acacius and Octavius were joined by other soldiers, and it was clear from the crowd that there were many people from different social classes. The wealthy, the nobles, the dignitaries, the craftsmen, and the slaves. Looking at them, you realized your clothes seemed strange to you. They had almost no jewelry on their sleeves; they were ordinary. But here, slaves could accompany their masters or enter the Colosseum, unlike in Egypt. The crowd also included women, nobles who looked at you with a piercing gaze. At first, you were perplexed by their actions. But when you looked them up and down, you saw the problem: jealousy. In Egypt, everyone ignored you, thinking you were a thin young boy in a strange cloak. Here in Rome, you were a beautifully dressed young girl, the envy of even the noblewomen. Life should be full of miracles and surprises.

The Roman triumph was a civil ceremony and religious rite of ancient Rome, held to publicly celebrate and sanctify the success of a military commander who had led Roman forces to victory in the service of the state or, in some historical traditions, one who had successfully completed a foreign war.

The venue for the ceremony was the Temple of Jupiter Optimus Maximus, one of the most important temples in the capital. Most Roman festivals were calendar fixtures, tied to the worship of particular deities. While the triumphal procession culminated at Jupiter's temple on the far end of the Via Sacra (sacred road) in the Roman Forum, the procession itself, attendant feasting, and public games promoted the general's status and achievement. In effect, the general was close to being "king for a day", and possibly close to divinity.

Accompanied by the red rose petals thrown to him to honor him, the General ascended the white marble stairs of the temple with quick steps, shining like pearls in the sun. At that moment you immediately recognised them, they were not unnoticeable anyway, your half-brothers, the emperors, approached the General. They were dressed in white and gold, just like him. From their appearance, it was not difficult to guess which one was Geta and which one was Caracalla. The general greeted them with a hand pressed to his chest and Geta gently placed the golden crown of laurel leaves on his head. While everyone was shouting and cheering with enthusiasm, you suddenly felt a pain somewhere deep in your chest. You deserved to be with them, you wanted to be, it was your birthright. But your emperor father had to take you away, was it because you were not a man? He had asked you not to blame him, not to be angry with him, but you couldn't help it, as they stood there in all their reality you realized that you really had to choose. If not now, one day. Looking at him from a distance, Caracalla raised his hands towards the people and spoke, and you wondered if your father's warning about him had been right. His hair was the same colour as yours, but his face was different. His eyes were wide with excitement and eagerness. He didn't seem so bad besides you knew it was wrong to judge a person at first glance.

You soon realized that there was some tension between him and the priest next to him, Geta raised his hand to silence him, which was very rude and disrespectful. Obviously, your half-brother was not a man of religious tradition.

“Now that our ceremony is finally over, are we ready to watch the big games?”

The whole crowd let out a roar of excitement, and it was clear that everyone was just as pumped as he was.

“Then let's head to the Colosseuuuuuuuuuuum!” he shouted and pointed in the direction of the Colosseum with his right hand.

“Our gladiators are waitiiiiiiiing!” Caracalla joined him in shouting, their voices blending and echoing throughout Capitoline Hill.

You bit your lip to keep from laughing when you realised that the General was smiling forcibly as he applauded him, you could see how annoyed he was with them. Fighting all these emotions inside you, you had neglected to pay attention to the general, but if anyone dazzled you more than anyone else, it was him. With his golden crown on his head, he was more than an emperor, he was like a God, the son of Mars, Marcus himself, who more than lived up to his name. He was glamorous, sending his radiance first into your eyes and then sending vibrations deep into your chest. As your heart beat faster than ever, you wondered if this was what love felt like. If love wasn't what this man was making you feel this way, what else could it be? You could only guess because no one had ever advised you to do so. So you realised that you wanted to remain this man's slave until you die without revealing your identity.

Now that the crowd was heading away from the temple towards the Colosseum, you followed them. You tried to keep the general and Octavius in sight, but it was difficultPeople were hurrying along, bumping into you. As people rushed past, you wanted to go to another direction to avoid getting lost, you passed more people and got closer to the temple, and you looked for him. You saw the Emperors and General were going down the road in a chariot. You were about to run after them when the senators came down the stairs. And then your eyes met with a dark-browned skin member of the senate, he looked at you with wide eyes. You looked away and went into the crowd because he was coming towards you. But more people were coming from the road, so you turned left and went behind the temple to hide. When you reached the corner wall, you looked back and saw no one. Then someone called out to you as you headed towards the other road. You ignored him, but this time he called you by name. “Wait, Aurelia!”

You froze in shock. That was your real name, and you thought everyone who knew it was dead. You turned your head with curiosity and saw the man from earlier running towards you. You gripped the dress fabric in your hands feeling extremely nervous. The man was panting as he approached. "Is it really you?"

You swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, sir, but I think you mistaken me for someone else."

The man looked you in the eye and smiled with confidence. "I'd recognise those eyes anywhere, it's you." He was observing your hair. "Septimia Aurelia, do you know how much I have searched for you, my lady?"

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