#and not even in the good funny way 4-9 were. it's stupid over the top badly written like x and hobbes and shaw

[deanpinterester]

detco heads, be honest with me. at what point (either in manga or animated forms) did detco start getting bad for you.

[jinxtoyerekko]

Billy Hargrove x gn!reader

Minors kindly DNI

Warning: make out, shitload of flirting, no emotional bond, drinking, swearing

Summary: Reader meets Billy at one of plenty parties and realizes he's pretty hot, can't go further than a makeout, though

Feel free to request:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Fuck, this tastes horrendous. Who bought this?" You asked your friend, Carol, as you looked over at her. She let out a small laugh as she took a sip. "Tommy did. He swore it's good, but I told him you wouldn't like it. "

You set down your cup and made a small gag noise. "God, I think I'll stay with the vodka for this."

Carol nodded. "Alright. I'll be back in a second. I wanna check where Tommy is."

You nodded softly and filled your cup up once more before pushing yourself through the crowd of people and onto the garden. There stood a group of people, surrounding a boy you've never seen on these parties before. But you rarely even went on parties so that wasn't a surprise.

He was upside down on top of a keg, seemingly drinking from it. It looks weird and a little stupid but you could see what was fun about it.

Your eyes scanned the group. They all counted as the boy kept going on and on. Once they reached the number 23, the boy got down and stood normally as he spit out the last bit of beer that was in his mouth.

Everyone cheered for him, clapping and whistling while also yelling his name through the garden.

Billy

It sounded interesting. But also so weirdly familiar.

You watched as a smile formed of your face, downing the drink in your cup happily.

Suddenly, some guy grabbed you by the shoulders and pushed you towards the keg. "(Y/n) should totally try it too!!"

You looked at the male behind you with a frown. You recognized him, but you couldn't seem to remember his name. "Fuck no, I'm not drinking that shit. I'm already dying from whatever shit Tommy-"

You couldn't even finish since everyone started cheering for you, which put some pressure on you. Said pressure got worse when that boy, Billy, smirked at you and spoke up. "Are you scared?"

And that was all it took.

You tossed aside your empty cup and took hold of the keg as you bit onto the hose, which would lead the beer into your mouth.

You raised yourself up onto the keg and started drinking.

1

2

3

Right now you were really fucking thankful that your parents insisted on you taking part in athletics.

4

5

6

And that you usually drank a lot during the day. Not necessarily alcohol but just anything in general.

7

8

9

Otherwise this moment would've gotten really fucking embarrassing now.

10

11

12

And the fact that you were pretty good at holding your breath for a long time also helped with making this much easier.

13

14

15

And again everyone started cheering and chanting your name as if they were trying to summon you like they would a demon.

16

17

18

It felt funny to you. You weren't even a party person. You weren't very popular either. And yet here you were, on your way to become the new keg king without even planning on it.

19

20

21

Billy probably didn't like this at all, but you genuinely couldn't care less. You had a chance to prove yourself. You weren't gonna embarrass yourself in front of so many people, especially if one of them was so fucking handsome in your opinion.

22

23

24!!

You let the hose out of your mouth and got off of the keg, stumbling back a little, though some people caught you and held you up as everyone kept cheering like they had for Billy.

You panted as some leftover beer dripped from your lips and down your chin. You looked up just to be met with the icy blue eyes. What you didn't expect was for Billy to look so.... interested. He looked like he wanted to know more about you.

You pushed yourself off of the many people before making your way to stumble inside. The alcohol was rushing to your middle while the blood that had gathered in your head was going down into your feet again.

You weren't aware that Billy followed you until you had sat yourself in the bathroom and he closed the door.

You looked over at him and fought back a smile since you didn't want to seem like you were making fun of him. Though internally you kind of were.

"I'm impressed." He said, not sounding very genuine, but you weren't gonna argue over a compliment. Instead, you smiled as you let your head fall back just slightly as you could breath. "Thanks."

"Anyone else would've choked."

You looked at him again and smirked. "I'm not anyone else. I'm (Y/n). (Y/n) (L/n), actually." You explained to which Billy nodded.

"Billy Hargrove." He said measly. You nodded softly. And then the realization hit you as to why the name sounded so familiar.

"Mm I've heard a few things about you."

To that, Billy raised a brow and smirked. "Oh yeah? And what kind of things have you heard about me?"

You raised your hand and held up one finger slowly. "That you like to fight." You raised another. "That you're fucking angry all the time." And then your raised your third finger. "And that you're a really good kisser."

Billy laughed loudly at the last one. "And who the fuck told you that?"

You pointed your finger at him as you opened your mouth, wanting to reply. But you were so drunk from the keg and the vodka that you genuinely forgot. "I... don't remember."

You lowered your hand slowly and sighed softly. "God I hate alcohol."

Billy smiled and got a little closer to you, looking directly into your eyes. "Wanna test if that last rumor is true?"

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked down at him. Your lips suddenly felt so dry that you simply had to wet them with your tongue a little.

Billy laughed and raised a hand to put it behind your head, pulling you in to kiss your lips roughly, not holding back at all.

You closed your eyes as a soft hum escaped you. Moments later, you grabbed onto his shirt and let yourself fall into his arms. This only made him pull you closer, his hand cupping your ass.

One moment, you were just kissing, and the next, you suddenly had his tongue basically down your throat, though you weren't really complaining. It felt good. Really good.

You felt Billys hands travel up slowly, his hand sneaking under your shirt slowly. Suddenly, you grabbed his hand and pulled away. "S-Stop! Don't-"

Billy let his hand fall back onto your ass and pulled you closer again. "Relax. Only make out it is." He whispered before he went back to kissing you, his tongue meeting yours once again.

You continued this for about 10 minutes until a knock was heard on the door and you jumped off of Billy right before it opened and Carol peeked in.

"(Y/n)? Oh- Hi Billy! Are you two alright? I heard (Y/n) tried the keg thing and ran off to the bathroom afterward." She explained, to which Billy nodded.

"That's true. Beat my ass big time in it. And now the little thing isn't feeling all too well."

Right as he said this, your stomach twisted in a way that made you jump up and hang your head over the toilet, emptying your stomach out into it like your life depended on it.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Masterlist:

[doyelikehaggis]

just out of curiousity, what are your top 10 hollyoaks crack ships/rare pairs 👀

Oh, anon, you have no idea the can of worms you had just opened. So, crackships/rarepairs specifically, huh? (I mean, just about every ship that doesn't involve Ste or John-Paul are a rarepair, let's be honest.) Okay, let's do this. (These are in no way in ranked order btw)

Joel Dexter x Ryan Knight (Knightdex)

It's so stupid and (so far) based on literally one (1) interaction between them, in Rory Douglas-Speed's first episode as Joel in 2016, in which Ryan has called Joel for help in taking Warren down in Patrick's murder investigation. The moment they have outside of the police station was so incredibly gay for no reason, and I'm forever going to be thinking of how unnecessarily close Ryan got to Joel. I will provide a gif as evidence:

2. Brendan Brady x Simon Walker (Bralker)

I feel like they count as a rarepair because everyone prefers stendan (obviously <3), but the chemistry between Emmett Scanlan and Neil Newbon is genuinely insane. Like, they're constantly eye-fucking each other, and Walker can say it was all an act as much as he wants, but I'm not convinced. There's just something to be said for their very toxic, one-secretly-wants-the-other-dead, partners in crime thing.

3. Amy Barnes x Michaela McQueen (McBarnes)

I think men were not good for Amy, and Michaela was right there. I'm a sucker for best friends to lovers (even if they were more like messy frenemies most of the time), so I already loved the idea of them, but then I saw this one scene from like 2006 where Ste confronts Michaela and asks if she fancies Amy, and I'd believe it wholeheartedly.

4. George Smith x Callum Kane (PalmKane)

I love their friendship, and I totally get why the show kept it platonic because it was such an important dynamic to have on TV back in 2012, no judgement, just pure trust and affection for each other. But as I said, I'm a sucker for best friends to lovers, so! I wish Callum hadn't died because they were genuinely one of my favourite parts of that era.

5. Max Cunningham x O.B

It's funny for me to count this one considering I haven't watched a single scene featuring Max other than the one where Claire tells him Tom is in the lake to try and drown Max, and then OB saves him. But what did it for me was OB's return in 2016, the way he cares for Tom (Max's little brother), and reading through their entire history lmao. I'm planning on going back and watching the scenes I can find on youtube (currently organising a playlist) so that I can fall even harder for them. I truly believe they were soulmates.

6. Cleo McQueen x Nathan Nightingale (Clathan)

Again, I don't know if this counts as a rarepair because they were technically together in the show, but I also don't think anyone actually ships them anymore? Either way, they're adorable and if Nathan hadn't died, I would've wanted them together and married and happy <3

7. Sienna Blake x Trevor Royle (Trienna)

Yes, Sienna was not necessarily good for Trevor, and he chose Grace, but the colouring book therapy session?? I'm still crying over them.

8. Ste Hay x John Paul McQueen (McHay)

I'm cheating again, I know, they were canon, people shipped them (probably still do), but not nearly enough. I still want them back together now, in 2024, I am BEGGING. Reunite them. Give them another chance. Let them be HAPPY.

9. Robbie Roscoe x Callum Kane (Roscane)

Look, Robbie came into and immediately did way too much just to try and impress Callum and get him to be his friend. I will die on the hill that Robbie is queer. (TBF the same could be said for Freddie Roscoe, too.)

10. Romeo Nightingale x Prince McQueen (Rinse)

I miss the Daily Rinse <3 Also, having Romeo's exit be him riding off on a horse while Prince tearfully watches him as "Love Story" by Taylor Swift plays? Most romantic moment ever, and their names are made for each other, come on.

I am ALWAYS happy to talk about Hollyoaks (or EastEnders), especially ships, so please feel free to send more questions/talk to me about anything! <3

[k-simp]

Which movie or TV characters do you feel like you can relate to the most?

I love you for asking me this bro, I just gotta say that I love when tumblr ask me questions that are literally the same fucking questions I be talking to myself about in the bathroom or in a private setting, and pretend I'm in a Q&A session, interview or podcast.

Thank yall for asking me questions

Anyway, there is a huge ass list I'm actually kinda overwhelmed about answering this question,

B U T

There is 2 characters in particular that sums up me PERFECTLY, these 2 characters are my top two "if you were a cartoon character would would you be?"

REAGAN RIDLEY & REN HOËK

Idk how to even go about it cause it's been a while since I've watched both shows and idk if i can go into detail about how these 2 are like me and I'm not saying it to be like

"Omg yassss there wittly just like me teehee^^"

No I mean these 2 are ME

There both psychos with logical anger issues, surrounded by IIIIIIIIIIDIOOOOTS, intelligent but stupid and silly at the same time, can get pervy sometimes, trauma, get or have no bitches, workaholics, and introverted and stuff.

Its been a while i said, but i remember when I started binging Ren and Stimpy and WHEN I SAW THIS SCENE, IM WAS SO HAPPY CAUSE THIS IS WHAT I SAY TO MY SIBLINGS ALL THE DAMN TIME

With Reagan, there's so many moments she shocked me hard as well, you gotta watch the show.

Heres some honorable mentions to the most relatable to the least relatable along with reasons why I relate to them

(There's more reasons why, i know there are, I just can't remember too well)

Squidward Tenticals: Artist, never in the mood, spoils himself, sick of everyone but has a heart

Spongebob SquarePants

2. Spinel: Got replaced without a care in the world, wants to be loved, silly, sweetheart, sad inside, looks just like my self insert OC

Steven Universe

3. Principal Scudworth: Very creative, silly, very fucking funny, miserable, wants to be appreciated

Clone High

4. Mojo Jojo: Pretty much like squidward, Spinel and Scudsworth with some OCD, intellectual neodivergent

PowerPuff Girls

5. Herbert West: Highly ambitious, devoted to his work, jealous bitch, asexual, neodivergent, loves his work and wants someone that can truly rock with him but everyone keeps fucking up, doesn't want people getting in the way of his craft

Re-Animator

6. Blitz: Horny af, miserable and lonely af, silly, wants love, accidentally hurts alot of people's hearts but helps alot of other people and have a good heart and just tryna get by.

Helluva Boss

7. Albert Wesker: I don't know much of his character besides his over all lore and stuff and I wanna play the games so I'm not spoiling myself too much but he's ambitious, wants to change the world, dedicated to his work and wears black all the time. But the lines that spoke to me were: "Every day, humans come one step closer to self-destruction. I'm not destroying the world, I'm saving it!"

"We shall meet again before the conclusion of this drama. Then you will learn of the history... I will write for this world."

Resident Evil 5 (specifically this version)

8. Dr. Nefarious: Got bullied for being nerdy by the people he works with, works hard for his group, silly, talks to himself/has dairies, workaholic

Ratchet and Clank the movie (this version specifically)

8. Hisoka Morow: Very mysterious, lonesome, kinda lonley but doesn't say it or show it, silly and giggly, laughs to himself and is happy by himself, indiffrent, chill but will tweak the fuck out, and separates ourselves from groups, both hyperfixate for people with great qualities, diffrent and has great potential, loves bubblegum, resourceful and both struggled in poor times.

Hunter x Hunter 1999 (the 2011 too, but I personally love and connect more with the 1999 version)

9. Ryuk: Silly, laughing all the fucking time, gothic, bigback

Death Note

I hope this sums it idk����

[nova-appleade]

I promised this like forever ago and I'm finally posting it now:

Me and My sister's collective ranking of all the Winnie the Pooh animated movies

(That are available on Disney Plus)

Before I start I am completely aware that I probably have a bias to some of these, as I grew up with a few. I tried to look subjectively at each movie and take into account both characterization as well as how the movie feels as a whole and it's plot.

I'll try my best to avoid any spoilers, as well.

9) A Valentine for you (1999): 3.5/10

Starting with the obvious outlier here: I know this is technically a short and not a movie. The fact of the matter is though that I watched it and hated it. It felt... cheap. Rushed. I felt no love or care was put into this while I was watching it. What plot it has makes little sense. Though I understand what they were going for, it doesnt feel fitting for Winnie the Pooh canon. The only reason it has a 3.5 is because the song Tigger and Rabbit sing, while short, is actually kinda cute and catchy.

8) A Very Merry Pooh Year (2002): 5.5/10

I don't have a lot to say about this one, either. It was very cute, for what it was! I enjoyed myself watching this, unlike the previous entry. The split apart plot threw me off, though, and it felt more fitting for multiple shorts rather than trying to make those two plot ideas fit together in some way. Felt very disconnected as a whole.

That being said, I did enjoy the second story way more than the first. I love it when the characters show such genuine care for each other.

7) Springtime with Roo (2004): 6/10

It does pain me to put this movie so low. I mean, a quarter of it is Tigbit FanFiction. That's like one of my favorite things. The conversation Tigger and Rabbit have halfway through always hits me in the heart. You never see them actually have a sit down talk and try to understand each other, and I love that about this movie.

There are just certain things that bother me. Perhaps I'm picky. The movie just didn't stand out to me in a way that the ones above it have. There's no real story. Just felt like Rabbit being hurt for an hour or so.

That being said there is genuine charm here I can see why some might rank it higher.

6) Winnie the Pooh (2011): 6.5/10

I also like this movie. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Tom Kenny as Rabbit is hilarious. This is probably the funniest movie in the whole series. (To me)

My problem with it is also the thing I like about it. The comedy, while funny, also comes as a detriment to the characterization. I feel as if they play up the characters' traits to the point they feel hollow and one note. Rabbit is over the top, Piglet is a kiss ass to Pooh, Pooh is... kind of self centered?? They don't feel like themselves. These characters do not feel like they would genuinely care for each other as true family. The Tigger Movie would never happen in this universe.

Like I said, I think the movie is funny. It's entertaining in its own way. But I can't see it being canon in any way shape or form and that stops me from putting it higher.

5) The Heffalump Movie (2005): 7/10

This is a really sweet movie. It has such a wonderful message, and I love the change they made to the Heffalumps as a whole. I think it really expands the universe.

Roo and Lumpy have such a sweet friendship. I can't very well speak on the messages in this movie aside from "don't judge a book by its cover", but I do think they do a good job of conveying the lesson simple enough for children to understand, while not treating them like they're stupid.

I have no real problems with this movie. I just think the ones I ranked higher are better than it.

4) The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977): 8/10

I feel like this was a perfect introduction to the characters and their personalities. There's something so charming about how it's aged.

I know my bias is showing through with this entry, but even as an adult I truly appreciate everything about it. I think, for the time it was made, it did what it wanted to just right. It didn't want to tell a big story, so it didn't. I don't feel like it needed to, either. I think the stories flow nicely into one another and fit well in the universe.

3) Piglet's Big Movie (2003): 8.5/10

I'll be honest, I grew up with this movie. It's so beautifully charming and heartfelt.

I actually don't have too much to say about it, either, though. I love the characterization and the lesson it tells. I love how the characters feel as if they've known each other for their whole lives and truly love and care for each other like family. It's warm and even when they're fighting you can tell they only do it out of a place of genuine care.

2) The Tigger Movie (2000): 9.5/10

I realize this might be a controversial(?) place to put this movie. I can completely understand why some would put it at their number 1 spots.

That being said, I love this movie with every fiber of my being. And believe it or not, no, I didn't ever see it when I was a kid. I only watched it for the first time a few years ago.

The Tigger Movie is beautiful and gut-wrenching. Most definitely the saddest of all of the movies on this list. I could go on and on about it forever. I love seeing Tigger in the spotlight of anything and I love seeing his emotions and thoughts. The themes of love and family are unmatched. Not to mention the songs! There isn't a single bad one.

The only thing that keeps it from being a 10/10 for me is Rabbit’s role in this movie. I realize I am being picky with that and I don't want to elaborate purely on the fact that it isn't anything but a very minor complaint for me.

1) Pooh's Grand Adventure (1997): 10/10

Literally the perfect Winnie the Pooh film in my eyes.

The songs are catchy and filled with wonder. Each character feels like they were torn from the page of the book. You understand where everyone is coming from in their point of view and you can't help but smile and laugh and cry with them during each moment.

Their family dynamic is so beautiful and innocent. There's nothing I would change about any of it. I still get emotional watching this and the Tigger Movie both.

Hell, Pooh's Grand Adventure is one of the reasons I have been into storytelling since I was young. It is still one of the stories I look back on and aspire to write something as whimsical and pure as.

If you got this far, thank you! These are of course just my personal opinions and I'd love to hear your own rankings! 😊✌️

[cherriegyuu]

Boys Planet | Episodes 5&6

Finally, the second round of performances. I thought that the bad performances would have stopped in round one. However, here we are with more bad performances. I'm mention them from least to most liked by me, so keep that in mind.

Vocal + Rap

#4 Not Spring or Cherry Blossoms - I expected a shit show, and it was okay? I Chan did good here, his voice was really pleasant, but I don't think any of them will survive.

#3 Limousine - it was fine. Their voices were good together, but nothing much tbh. For this team too, I don't think any of them will survive

#2 Man in Love - I liked it a lot. It's weird how Taerae looks like Seokhoon, could have fooled me that he was Taerae's dad hahahaha. Is it weird that, although I'm not voting for him, I want Tae Rae to make it into the group? I think that one Taerae will survive from this group

#1 Tomboy - everyone already sort of expected this performance to be good, and it was. Props to Zhang Hao for placing first, but Gunwook was better over all (but I may be biased as he is my one pick). Everyone will survive and Gunwook will make it to top 9 and he will stay there (saying it to the universe).

Vocal + Dance

#4 Feel Special - I knew that it was going to be bad, but I didn't expect it to be this bad. Woongi carried the whole performance on his own and still didn't manage to get first place because, like I have always said, Koreans vote with their asses. The guy who placed first, I don't care enough to look for his name, was terrible in every sense of the word. He got to perform the song he wanted, feel special was his pick from the moment it was announced, and he didn't even try to pull his weight. The amount of anger I have towards this guy is not even funny. I swear to God that if I see anyone saying "he has to debut" I'll pick a fight because dude can't dance, can't sing and isn't a team player so what the fuck does he want. Woongi maybe has a chance to survive, but indont think any of the others will

#3 Butterfly - the dancing was good, as expected, but the vocal part fell short. Everyone will likely get eliminated

#2 Home - this was a very hard song to cover, seventeen sings very high, and their dances are really hard. I really like Jong Woo, I hope that he can make it all the way to the final, and if he makes de debut group I won't be angry. I think Yunseo (?) Will probably be eliminated but I hope not.

#1 Love Killa - only placing it as number one because they had no issued vocally and their dancing was good. But I would easily place home as number 1. Seowon is in risk on elimination.

Dance + Rap

#4 Rush Hour - it wasn't bad, but it also wasn't good either. I don't know. It felt like they went on stage because they had to, and that was it. They didn't look like they enjoyed it at all. I know that there was some evil editing, but some stuff weren't either, so their lack of teamwork made the whole stage sort of fall apart. Most likely, only Ricky will survive.

#3 Zoom - I thought that whoever got this song would have to work extra hard because it's not the best, you know, but they managed to make a fan stage and they really looked like they were having fun. I love Keita so much, I hope he makes it to the final lineup (it looks like he will, considering the current ranking and how much people seem to like him). Keita and Haruto will for sure survive but the others, probably not.

#2 Gang - ah this fucking meme song but they did so well. Junhyeon is so funny, and he didn't want this song at all but managed to do a great job. Seunghwan, too. He got the song no one wanted and turned it into something great. I love it. Seunghwan may survive, Junhyeon too.

#1 Law - to me, the best performance of this round. I hate how that stupid master has been crushing Yujin from episode three and how the kid looks like he's about to throw up every time he sees him but he's sooo good with his dancing and he can improve I'm his vocals, yes, but he's going through puberty so his voice is yet to change. Yedam was so good, Hanbin was great, Wang Zihao gets no screen time although he is possibly the best dance in the whole fucking show and it pisses me off. I hope he survives. Yujin and Hanbin and the only ones I'm certain of.

I want to briefly mention the ranking from last week and the 12th place announced from today.

Taerae made it into top 9 but Hui dropped out of the top 9 and that worries me. I don't think he will have the same arc as Yujin and he won't make it into the final lineup. I think a lot of people voted for him as a filler vote.

Jiwoong also dropped a little in ranking. However, he is still the top 9. I think he also may have had a lot of filler votes

Jay is no longer in the top 9. He dropped to 12th. Like Hui and Jiwoong, he probably got a lot of filler votes, but now that things are narrowing down, he lost those votes. It happens. If he dropped, there's a chance Gunwook will be in the top 9.

I will never shut up about Gun Wook in this show, okay? I want him to make it, so just deal with it.

[mashitandsmashit]

AGT Season 17: Live Shows 4

11: Harper. Stupid...It's clear she's not even singing, just screaming the lyrics while jumping around like a loony...It's Courtney Hadwin without the talent...

10: Lee Collinson. Bland song choice, and I think the nerves really got to him tonight...On a better night than this, he surely would be dead last, but the least I can say about him over Harper is that he tried...at least a little...

9: Bayley Graham. I take back what I said before...He's off the beat no matter WHAT song he picks...But he's still talented...I think at the end of the day, the stairs kinda got in the way, and the stage swallowed him up...

8: Metaphysic. This is interesting technology (with some uncanny valley effects), but I don't think it makes much of a show...Nonetheless, if they get eliminated here, they just gave the judges enough incentive to pick them as the wildcard in the Finals...

7: Jannick Holste. I don't know if I'd call him a creamcake...Just a fruitcake...But a FUN fruitcake! He's not great in either department, but he can entertain with this combo...

6: The Lazy Generation. I feel like a hypocrite, because I remember the performer known as Horse from FOREVER ago, and I hated his act...I don't hate THIS act...Maybe it's because there's more of them, or that they're doing more crazy stuff, or even that my opinions have developed over the last decade...But I describe it as bats*** fun! Nonetheless, I know they're not gonna get many votes...

5: Acapop! Any youngsters who can write their own songs (even one as schmaltzy as this one) deserve credit...A fair bit more credit than Howie's X...While I agree that their audition was better, I still got enough of da feelz from this one...

4: Merissa Beddows. I was REALLY hoping she would find a creative way to follow-up her audition (as well as rise to the high bar the Brown Brothers set). I recognized all of the songs, and the transforming circle was a nice touch, but otherwise this felt like a letdown...Though I guess impression choices aren't quite as abundant for women...

3: Lily Meola. Ironically, she DIDN'T wear the cute butterfly outfit this time...Again, the song was nice, and while her voice isn't amazing, I still enjoy listening to it...But for a Golden Buzzer, this DID fall a little short of expectations...

2: Jack Williams. This guy seemed like a real contender from the beginning...I suppose this wasn't at that level of innovation that we've seen from Paul Zerdin in the past...Nonetheless, the bickering is still fun, and he rose to those challenges to the best of his ability! (Though his Simon impression sounded more like Nigel Thornberry...)

1: Mike E. Winfield. Pretty much all of the other acts tonight were divisive in some way or another...But this individual rose well above expectations and delivered what was, in my opinion, the best and most consistently funny stand-up set in all the years I've watched this show! And here I was thinking he was just a holdover for Jordan Conley next week...Now the pressure's on for Jordan, so long as Mike gets the advance he so clearly deserves!

This was...not a good night...I guess some of the acts were bound to fail at reaching the bar set by both last week as well as themselves...Several others are clearly throw-away acts...I'm just glad that Mike gave me something to be excited for by the end there...

Ranking Prediction:

11: The Lazy Generation

10: Harper

9: Jannick Holste

8: Lee Collinson

7: Bayley Graham

6: Merissa Beddows

5: Metaphysic

4: Acapop!

3: Jack Williams

2: Lily Meola

1: Mike E. Winfield

I guess Metaphysic may be tricky to call, but since they were the only act besides Mike who weren't criticized by any of the judges, I think they have a shot...

Tomorrow, Piff returns! It's telling that despite not making the Top 5 in his respective season, we've been seeing more of him than most magicians over the years...

Also, St. Patty's Day has come early with Riverdance!

---

Once again, I'll have to eat my hat on Metaphysic! I guess Simon calling them the “best act of the series” is bound to have SOME effect...I shan't underestimate them again...

Despite what I said last night, I am looking forward to seeing what they do in the Finals...

Meanwhile, we finally have a (well-deserved) comedian in the Finals, and our second GB act to NOT make the cut...

Riverdance was fun, and Piff was as funny as ever! Regardless of the trick behind replicating Howie's cube, it must have taken a damn good dragon eye! ...Also, he made Howie drink dragon-dog urine and convinced him it was tea...(PS, It's telling that both of the guest acts tonight were better than most of the contestants LAST night...)

So with all that out of the way, let's predict the odds of our last set of live acts before the Finals...

11: Shu Takada

10: Aubrey Burchell

9: Urbancrew

8: Blade 2 Blade

7: Kristy Sellars

6: Mervant Vera

5: Travis Japan

4: Max Ostler

3: Jordan Conley

2: Kristen Cruz

1: Mayyas

This one really does come down to how well each of them do...Kristen Cruz is still one of the most viewed auditions online, so that will likely make her a contender...Jordan Conley will have to top Mike E. Winfield's set, which won't be easy...But if anyone can do it, it's him...And Mayyas will have to be THAT act! And by THAT act, I mean the type of act that blows everyone away and has them all singing the praises of one of the best acts of all time!

The ball really is in everyone's court...

[vyvesvi]

ep 4!

general thoughts:

i switched over to youku to watch and the subs are 100% machine generated i hate it hereeee

i need them to put names in the subtitles and NOT TRANSLATE THEM youku rdgaf 😭

there's way too much yuehua on this show and it's fucking up the vibes. literally 12/63, 10 of whom already debuted, plus 2/5 mentors. it's so unfortunate. and they didn't even have the decency to put them in one audition group nooo they were split across like 4 diff auditions and they kinda pretend not to know eachother (except when they dont) which is......

there are too many "known" trainees & idols. as someone who's coming into the show only familiar with one trainee (ollie) by name, the disconnect between what we see and the votes is too much.

the ways in which the voting has been restricted is so alienating, wdym i have to check multiple apps & rely on more connected fans to figure out what the rankings *might* be 🙄

RAIN IS SOOOOO ANNOYING LEAVE WANG KUN ALONE!!!! he gives good feedback tbh but how come when it comes to freshly 18 year old wang kun allhis comments are just "daddy 😏" when he's clearly super uncomfortable???? some of the nuance could be lost in translation but so many ppl r calling him out for being weird so

i need more cheng xiao & more zhengting, they have the potential to hard carry the mentor team but rain won't shut uppppp

performances:

no performance really struck me so i can't really rank them. but Team Tan Yitian's Phantom & Team Gemini's Lydia stood out as being the most "complete."

Notes i took while watching:

phantom - aihe's team: aihe & hugo (& ansel) ate, idc what anyone says. hugo was already on my notice list but now he's def top 9. noticed: hugo - wong singcheuk (apex, 03) & ansel - a xinran (trainee 18, 00). hyungseo face, great vocals. very stupid response to the judges hype's over

phantom - tan yitian's team: not mad they won but the operatic/dramatic vibe aihe's team went with was smart. this was more straight forward. tan yitian (skye, enone) & liang shiyu (boyhood) stood out but not enough to be picks.

one and only - zhong junyi's team: unremarkable but i also don't like the song much. its dumb that they were fighting over a nonexistent dance break. zhong junyi (one) was the most noticeable, and wu xuanye (aiden) was the only one who looked happy.

one and only - muqing's team: lui & tomoki were cute. service forgot his main rap part. walker (wang kun) is very 143 ent coded (puppy face). wang muqing (boyhood) is popular but he looks too much like xinxi & yitian for me to have them all as picks. like where's the diversity idk. huang xin (eliott) was endearing in a funny way.

lydia - archie's team: honestly didn't notice kingsley (yang yichen) much here but he won yay. honda hiromu & my foreigner bias i was endeared by him + archie teaching him the lyrics

lydia - gemini's team: overall more complete stage. not sure how gemini won but im very happy about it. everyone on this team was good but my picks would be gemini, wong yikbun (hugo) & sun jingdong (ddmorecash). tianyi officially annoys me he needs to go solo

overall stand out list (new names only): skye (tan yitian), liang shiyu, zhong junyi (one), huang xin (eliott), honda hiromu, yang yichen (kingsley), wong yikbun (hugo), sun jingdong (ddmorecash)

this my tentative top 9 HOWEVER this is not a coherent group

doing my best to make a coherent group based on what little i know thus far:

making this made my head hurt, but i do think this is overall a more balanced lineup (that minimizes the sway yuehua will probably have over the group 😶) than the first. the show has too many good vocalists for this to be the lineup & i'd be pretty disappointed on that front. hopefully someone rises to the top vocally soon 🙏 if i had the change to add 3 members they'd be: 1 - another main vocal, 2 - wang kun, 3 - maybe kim dongbin for nore diversity idk

just started asia super young 😅 funny how a show can seem super popular when you're out of the loop but when you finally start watching it's crickets

this is my first time watching a youku show, i like the pacing BUT I HATE the fact that they cut so much from the free eps (free is 1 hr vip is 2.5+ 🫠). so like the irresponsible working adult i am i committed to monthly subscription (that i WILL remember to cancel the day the finale airs 😁). the other thing that i find really disappointing is that free voting on the youku app doesn't count towards their rank, it's just for extra promo 🫠 apparently you need to pay separately through their site or have a weibo associated with a mainland # (acc to fans based in hk w weibo accounts they can't even vote. when the show is filming in hk. and conducted half in canto.)

but i WILL be tuning in even though im desperately confused about everything. i watched eps 1 - 3 using the free version so im gonna do a quick recap and hopefully start catching up with the extra content tomorrow 🙏

ASY PICKS (based on ep 1 - 3)

ults: gemini (hoàng huệhùng/huang huixiong) & albert (aihe)

these two...how could you not say cunt. gemini is a 99 liner from vietnam, a short king, his nose is pierced, his dancing is clean, and his vocals are great. does he speak chinese? no. but does he serve face? like his life depends on it (because it does). he's already on my list of survival show contestants who will live on in my brain in perpetuity. aihe is the other main slayer from the same audition group (medusa). just look at him. he walked out and i went bitch???? he's like if hu yetao and xue bayi had a baby that was mad as hell. he's an 03 liner from xinjiang, pretty good vocals, and great dance skills. had to use that shitty laptop pic bc it just radiates his whole vibe.

i like you!: vic (zhang shengxi), orenda (shuhao), walker (wang kun), kong sonhei (jiang xinxi), & karl (ting tzelong)

vic is a 2000 liner & and member of enone. his rank is so oddly low bc he gets pretty good screentime and is very talented?

shuhao is a 2000 liner. he wasnt a pick until he did his solo rap but he's the best rapper, undisputed, on this show. plus he composed & produced & wrote & arranged their group's whole audition song? kingie.

walker is an 05 liner with a musical theatre background. to me he has a very broadcaster type face - kind and open. i noticed him mostly for how he was taking care of his younger audition partner, it was very very cute 🙄(🥹).

xinxi is an 02 liner & a member of the yuehua brigade. member of the bg boyhood (all of whom are competing) and i believe the theme song center. but more importantly, he's my birthday buddy!😁🥳 i'll admit to noticing him first bc of the bday thing - i was actually pretty unimpressed by boyhood's audition. still, he's a very good/solid boy group member to have.

karl (ting tzelong) is a 97 liner with roots in canada & hong kong. he's a Fantastic singer and was the runner up in the mr. hong kong contest? don't think he can dance but that voice, singing or speaking...

i know you & ur fun: ollie

ollie (06, under yuehua) was on boys planet so im very familiar with him (side note but this show has so many former iqiyi show contestants but none from tencent 😭). honestly he's not a pick for me but i like his energy, he's a great variety member. also i don't want to see him lose so 😭 that said i've always thought he raps like he's reading a children's book but he's graduated to slam poetry🎉

hmmm: sky (zhao tianyi)

so. sky's audition was iconic. this 14 y/o kid sang, rapped, played the piano, synths, talkbox, did streetdance, and jumped into a split. he clearly loves music & is very intense about follow this passion. but 1) he's 14. 2) he clearly wants to be a soloist, thus far i can't see a single team player bone in his body. these things combined have put him lower on my list (i especially didn't really care for how he interacted with gemini during the team selection but we'll see if that continues in ep 4). but he's here currently for his talent.

keeping an eye out: archie (sin ching fung), hugo (wong singcheuk) & service (sun xiaowei)

archie (98) is a singer, he sings! but honestly so many ppl on this show are good & he can't really dance so...we'll see

hugo (03, apex member) ...in his audition he looked like a member of my token bg POW lol. he has a lot of potential i just need to see more

service (03) i saw some star potential in his audition, we'll see

[stickytrigger69]

Eyyy can i get me some of tfp Racthet getting ”forcefully” dragged away form his work by a bot s/o into cuddles on the berth? (Bonus points if he crumpy as hell about it :3)

TFP Ratchet x GN Cybertronian Reader

Reader is gender neutral and I will use the term bot instead of mech/femme.

Ratchet will be grumpy of course.

I hope you like it.

I fucking love this man so much.

Readers frame type, paint job, and height is all unspecified.

------------------------------------------------------------

He's been standing at that terminal for so long now it's making your pedes ache. You of course always try to help him around the base when you're not out there with the others patrolling or what have you so he's not over exerting himself. He always tells you you have a bad habit of just getting in the way but you know that he knows you just want to help. When you tell him he needs a rest or to drink some energon or even just go out for a while on a drive while you take over for a bit he always gives you the same look. Before he would scold you and tell you that he needs to do the work and no one else or that it's important the he does it to make sure it's done right.

You had convinced him once or twice to step away but he just hovered over your shoulder, always glued to your backside to make sure you're doing it right. You'd scoff at him and tell him you have it under control, he always nudges you out of the way anyways saying the way you do it takes longer. It's always funny looking to the others because you'll be standing there doing Ratchets work and he'll just slowly start moving his servos over and doing it with you while you make room for him and then after a bit he's finally taken over and you're watching him with his energon in your hand. You always look so defeated in those moments, you slouch over a bit and your optic ridges are turned upward in concern, "can you at least drink your energon?" He takes it from you, cugs it, hands it back, then waves you off. "Thank you now let me get back to my work" you nod and walk away, he glances at you making your way down the hall to the berthrooms, he knows you'll come back later to try that same thing again, either to just stretch out or go take a small recharge break or even so he can do something else other than stand there staring at the screen.

And you did, you went back but before you said anything at all he held out some tools and stared at you with his usual poker face. You're confused, you were going to try to get him to go for a drive/flight with you so you guys could talk or just relax. You look at the tools then back at his faceplate, your optics look right into his with unspoken questions, you two haven't bonded yet so you couldn't send telepathic messages just yet but he understood anyway. "The ground Bridge needs repairs, the platform needs to be recalibrate to match the mapping in the controls, can you lend me a servo?" You smile and take the tools, "of course sweetspark." You turn around and head over to the ground bridge port. There's a small space to it's left where you can get to lower ground to open its panels to do the recalibration, it's a small step but for the humans it was a good 15 steps down.

"Wait right there!" You stop turning the small nob inside the panel "that's perfect, now the next one" you move your digits over to the next, it's not a twisty nob though. It's a small sliding one, 'I hate these stupid things' you start to move it upwards, "nope you're making it worse" you quickly move it down wards then slow down. These ones are much more touchy that the twisty ones, you very slowly very carefully move it down the small number scale the humans had equipped it with, 1 to 12 at the top, zero in the middle, and -1 to -12 at the bottom. You get somewhere between -9 and -10 when Ratchet tells you to stop, "That's it, now the next" there were 7 twist nobs and 4 sliders. 'This is going to take foreveeeeerrrrrr!' You groan internally and exvent deeply, your servo slowly begins to move the next slider upwards.

Ratchet doesn't say anything this time so you keep going, " There! Wait wait go back a bit," you stop and slowly tap it back downwards when he talks again "Right there don't. Move!" Your optics are wide and you hold your digits away from the panel. A small green wire flicks with a spark and you start to worry, "Wait Ratch" you grab some electrical tape and wrap it around the part of the wire that sparked. "How are the energy readings?" He turns to look at you, "they're fine, why? Is something wrong?" "One of the wires sparked a little, it's okay though, I patched it." He huffs and turns to the controls again, the calibration should be complete soon then he can get back to fixing that other thing and making sure everyone rests. Hmm, maybe he can continue his research on that synthetic energon, it would be amazing to have another source, especially if it could be made so easily and with earths resources. You start moving the third slider up and Ratchet quickly tells you to stop what you're doing, you backtrack it again and it's starts stabilizing.

After you finish putting the last slider into its place you go back to Ratchet and hand him his tools as he tests out the bridge. "Fully functional, no problems, thank the allspark. And thank you" he says with a smile on his face as he takes his tools back, "you should go and recharge, I've still got work to do" with that he turns around to face the monitors. Your optics stare holes into his helm as you just stand there, face blank, it's the same blank face that scared Bee and Bulkhead after they pulled a prank on you that involved paint, it wasn't even a good color either. Before he could ask you if you needed anything you grabbed his arm and started pulling him with you towards the hallway. He immediately started complaining and fighting with you, he pulled at your grasp, you moved your servos to grab his upper arms as you mad a 360 spin.

He was now in front of you walking backwards shouting at you, "(Y/N) cut it out, I have work to do!! Let go!" You didn't, "No, I'm not recharging by myself again. And you need the rest too, don't deny it" he stops and thinks, "but my work-" "can wait". You finally push him into the door of your shared berth room, he's mad, really mad but you don't fragging care he is resting with you and he is going to like it. The door opens and you lift him up and hold him close to your chassis, your helm under his chin as you sit on the edge of the large berth. He always wondered why you liked holding him like this, but, it always made him feel good about himself, feel more like himself too. He doesn't recharge or refuel much so these moments always makes him forget about it, reminds him that you love him so much.

You turn and lay you both down, you're both on your sides facing eachother, "I know you don't want to stop working but you haven't recharged in 4 solar cycles" he smiles at you, 'Still uses cybertron time' he caresses your cheek. Your smaller/larger frame hums, "No I don't, but," he stops to think, his processor is starting to slow, he's so tired. He takes in your features, he's so glad that you've both made it so far, glad that you're here taking care of him like this, glad you still love him the way you did during the golden age, glad that when he needs it the most you make him feel better. With your stupid tactics and ugly face, he chuckles a little and you pull him closer into you, your frames hum and rumble against eachother, the warmth of your engines filling the air around your berth making him feel so calm. You place your foreheads together as you stare lovingly into his optics, "don't wake up grumpy" you smile as his fades and he turns around putting his back to you.

You laugh lightly and rest your chin on his shoulder looking at him, you've scooted closer and your servo is on his side. "Awww Ratch, please, I'm sorry" he says nothing and closes his optics "but, Ratch, I love you" he could really care less, you ruined it. You pulled him into your spot and laid in front of him. You scooted down so your helm could rest against his chest and pulled his arm and leg over his side, his optics opened and he gave you a look. You stared up at him apologetically and quickly pecked a kiss to his derma, he closed his eyes and rested his chin against the tip of your helm and held you closer.

You smile and rest your face against his chassis, your arm thrown around him servo holding onto a part of his shoulder. You held him like he would dissappear, because you know damn well he will, especially after the bullslag you had just said. But he held you just as close, you listened to his engine purr, you could listen to it for eternity, if it was the only sound to fill your audials for the rest of your life you would be content. Ratchets servo slowly pet at your back, digits running against your smooth (p/c) paint, tracing small creases and transformation seams. He was happy here, his spark was full of love for you, he has no idea what he'd do without you and you him.

He finally fell into recharge and you were close to it when Arcee commed you, you didn't want to deal with it and told her you and Ratchet needed to recharge. She just said oh, okay and before she could say anything else you switched off your com-link and put your arm back around Ratchet. Your smile returned as you snuggled your helm to his chassis and let out a deep content exvent, "my dear sweetspark" you whispered.

[neoculturetravesty]

We met in online class - Part 3

Image taken from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, fluff, angst, maybe humor???? Warnings: Strong language, drinking Word Count: 5.2k

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | You are on Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Last Part

A/N: Happy birthday to Huang Renjun, the boy who lights up the world. Sorry for making him so angsty in this fic. Tried something a bit light for him on this occasion.

You’re embarrassed beyond belief. 

You had expected maybe an awkward moment or two. But the look Renjun is wearing on his face as the two of you exit the restaurant is one that makes you queasy. You feel so bad. The poor boy had tried so hard to make this date special; and you’d done everything you could to make it cumbrous. You tried, you really tried to act naturally. But, everything about tonight had made your words get caught in your throat. The fact that he’d chosen your uncle’s restaurant of all places… the fact that he had prepared all that he had… the fact that he looked the way he looked tonight. All of it had you taken aback because you’d never been on a date this nice before. This boy had really put you off your A game.

Still, you didn’t like seeing him wear this expression. You weren’t sure what part had irritated him the most: that you kept fumbling over your words? He’d usually been kind and patient with you, so that couldn’t be it. Maybe his pride had been hurt by how it had ended? Renjun didn’t come across to you as a spiteful person but he had made so much effort on this date. Oh man, maybe he was angry. 

To be fair, the poor boy hadn’t said anything since you’d left the table. Perhaps it was in what he didn’t say that you felt most embarrassed. You feel so terribly guilty, but walking out into the fresh air helps you get your act together. You stride ahead and grab his arm. You two needed a moment. 

“Renjun, wait. I… I need to explain myself.” you begin but gauge his reaction first.

He turns to you and you can’t read the expression on his mask covered face. He doesn’t say anything, so he’s probably letting you talk. Whilst you can’t read him, you pull your own mask down so he would see you fully and understand what you mean.

“Renjun, I’m so sorry. When you texted the address, I thought about telling you to choose another restaurant. But I didn’t want you to think I was blowing you off or having second thoughts. I just… oh my God, I am so embarrassed and I just…” you take his hand in both of yours because you really want him to feel the sincerity in your words “... I’m so sorry. I just went along because I was really excited to see you… like this… on a date…” 

Renjun is looking at the ground, like he’s weighing your words, or thinking about what to say. You wait for a beat, or two or three. But on the fourth beat, you say,

“Tell you what, this date doesn’t have to end like this. I know you didn’t eat at all, and honestly, neither did I. My apartment is just around the corner. Do you maybe wanna come over for some ramyeon?” you look at him, your eyes hopeful. You really don’t want him to be mad at you. Your stomach feels uneasy, and you’re pretty sure the French food had nothing to do with it. 

“What, no condoms this time?” he finally looks up to ask and now, his eyes are smiling. 

“Huh?” you begin but then your eyes widen as realization hits and suddenly, you’re much too aware of his hand in both of yours. You drop it right away and you’re blushing intensely when you say “No, no condoms this time. I mean actual ramyeon.” you cover your face with your hands because yes, you’re embarrassed, but also, you’re grinning because Renjun is teasing you again and you prefer it way more than his silence. 

You hear the sound of his amused laugh and then feel his hands close around both your wrists, gently pulling them down. “I’d like that. Let’s have that ramyeon.” he says with a kind voice.

You didn’t realize you’d been holding your breath till you let it out and give him a relieved smile.

“Great! I’m actually really good at making ramyeon. Don’t be too surprised when all other ramyeons are ruined for you forever.” you say just as the valet brings your car around.

“Honestly, Y/N L/N, after our French cuisine extravaganza, I’m pretty sure I’d thankfully eat sand if you cook it for me well enough.”

You laugh because you’re happy he’s talking again. You get the sudden urge to hug him, because you’re thankful he’s giving this date a second chance. You don’t, though. You’re not sure how he’d react and you didn’t want to ruin the moment when it had only just turned around.

So you choose to hop in the car instead, waiting from him to get in and put his seatbelt on. You pause for a moment after he’s settled in and then you turn to him.

“I, uh… I didn’t bring condoms on that day because like, uh, I was expecting anything or whatever. I just, um, my… my roommate. She put it in my purse as like a joke.” you feel so stupid having to explain it but you feel like you need to because ugh, ugh, ugh. 

Renjun is laughing silently and you get the feeling that this time he’s laughing at you. 

“I mean, it was pretty forward for a first date. And you know, I’m not that kinda guy.” He shrugs his shoulders, shaking his head, still laughing. 

“Ughhh.” you bury your face into the steering wheel but it only makes your head honk the horn, which makes you jump. 

“Hey…” Renjun reaches out his arm to touch your shoulder and you turn to peak at him, an embarrassed grin on your face. “I’m only kidding. But yes, the quality of my jokes is really going down because now I’m fully starving.”

“Say no more, Huang Renjun.” you say and put the car into drive.

It’s only a five-minute ride and you’re glad for it, because you really, really want to turn this day around. You just couldn’t have your first proper date end on such a sour note. You pull into your building’s garage and silently hope that you had everything you needed to make the perfect ramyeon. With Yeri stress-eating her way to her thesis, your stock would run out way earlier than either of you expected. If that were the case, you would have to very sneakily order some in; you mentally start to calculate how long it would take the grocery app to get you your stuff, given the time of day.

In your planning, you haven’t noticed that the two of you are already in the elevator and it’s Renjun’s voice that brings you back to Earth.

“You live in the penthouse?” he asks.

“Yeah. It was the only place they had available at that time. Super inconvenient. It was hell trying to move all our stuff all the way to the top.” you try to make small talk because the elevator seems to be going on and on. Why did you have to live so far up top? 

“Okay, here we are!” you say as you lead Renjun down the hallway and unlock your door. “Um… do you mind if I like… spray you down? My roommate is kinda really particular about having people in the apartment these days…” you ask apologetically.

“Oh, no, absolutely. Do what you have to do.” Renjun says, a bit absentmindedly. His eyes seem to be going past you and towards your living room. You pray to the heavens that it wasn’t a big mess. You had modelled way too many outfits for Yeri before you had left the house.

“Okay, here you go.” you hand Renjun a pair of lounge shoes as he pulls his mask down. “Close your eyes, please. Yeri made this concoction with Lysol and sanitizer and God knows what else.”

Renjun closes his eyes obediently and stands in a T-pose and you can’t help but smile. By the time you’re spraying him, you’re fully giggling. 

He giggles back and peaks with one eye open “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. You’re just. You look so cute, Huang Renjun!” you almost squeal and fuck, you can’t stop giggling.

“Heyyy!” he groans and grabs the spray bottle from you and aims it at you. You shield your face with the backs of your hands while Renjun attacks you. “I’m not cute, okay? You’re the one that’s cute.”

“Okay, that’s enough! I think I’m as sanitized as I will ever be.” you squeal and start to move away but Renjun grabs your waist and sprays you some more. He’s basically drenching you to death, and it’s just as well, because your breath has once again been caught in your throat. He is close to you, too close. Suddenly, your heart is thumping in your chest and you wonder if he can hear it.

He notices your stillness, looks at you and pauses. Like he can feel the electricity in the air. Everything stills and your throat is dry, because your freaking breath won’t let out. You think you’ve forgotten to breathe; almost as if the Lysol is creeping down your airways. He’s holding your gaze and you can swear he’s moving closer. But your stupid throat won’t stop bothering you.

All of a sudden, your head turns out of it’s own accord and you’re clearing your throat into the abyss. Renjun straightens up, his hand leaving your waist. Dammit. Maybe it was all that damn Lysol that was choking you, after all. 

“Let’s make that ramyeon.” you choke out, turning your back to him and heading in.

“Yep, ramyeon. Lets.” Renjun nods his head like you’ve said the most logical thing in the world. The two of you pretend like nothing even happened.

You lead him into the kitchen. “What would you like to drink? I’ve got soda, beer, soju.” you say as you open your fridge and do a quick inventory.

“I’ll just have a coke.” Renjun says and you nod. You grab a couple of cans and your ice box and set it down for him on the island. 

“Have a seat because what you’re about to witness is pure magic.” you tell him as you grab your apron and suit up to impress the boy in front of you. Renjun runs his fingers through his hair and gives you an expectant smile and your brain choses that exact moment to tell you that your crush is at your place. For the very first time. And the two of you are all alone. You turn around before he can see you blush and you get to work.

“Those are big words, Y/N L/N. I hope you won’t be eating them. I’d much rather have you eat the ramyeon with me.” he snarks as he sits on the barstool on the kitchen island, sipping on his coke. 

“Oh, I just love the cynics of my cooking. There aren’t many of them left in this world, so it’s nice to meet the survivors.” You mean business, so you’ve already tied up your hair and laid down your pots and pans. All the time you’ve spent watching Masterchef auditions has prepared you for this moment. You’ve put the noodles to boil and are already heating up a sauté pan. You throw in mushrooms and look up to see Renjun studying you in amusement.

“Damn, you’re not playing around.” Renjun says and you could bet money that he almost sounds impressed. “Hey, be careful with that.” his tone is one of worry now as he watches you chop up some more vegetables.

“I’m always careful, Huang Renjun.” you say as you work the chef’s knife across the bok choy, peppers, ginger and tofu. You throw them in the pan one by one, trying not to be too distracted by the fact that your crush was worried about you. “Can you handle a bit of heat?” you hold up the spicy sauce that Yeri’s mom would always bring for you. 

“I can handle it.” he cocks an eyebrow and you grin.

“I’ll keep it mild because I don’t wanna take any more food risks today.” you laugh and add some broth to your noodles.

“That’s fair. It smells amazing already so my expectations have really skyrocketed, by the way.” Renjun tells you, licking his lips. 

You grin as you set down two bowls. If the boy didn’t like you after this, then he was probably a really tough cookie to crack. “Honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’.” You mimic as you ladle in the broth over the noodles and start arranging your vegetables in the bowls. You slice your boiled eggs and mutter “Success!” as they come out to be the exact texture you were looking for. You top everything with some sesame oil and sesame seeds. You step back to look at your work. It looked like the most Instagramable bowl of noodles you’d ever created, if you said so yourself. 

You lay some side dishes on the counter then proudly set your creation before the artist. If anyone knew how to appreciate aesthetics, it was probably him. You look up at him, expectant. Waiting for your result.

“Whoa.” is all he says, almost like he’s taken aback.

“I think this might be my magnum opus.” you say, nodding seriously as you sit on the barstool next to him.

“This looks like it came straight from an anime.” Renjun makes an impressed face and picks up his chopsticks. He takes a bite and for a moment says nothing. “Oh my God.” he turns to you.

“Oh my God?” 

“Y/N L/N. You’re gonna have to marry me now. There is no other way around it.” he says deadpan.

You grin and punch the air with both fists like you’ve won a Michelin star, not just the Masterchef audition. “Huang Renjun, I don’t mess about with ramyeon.” You say and begin to eat. Your eyes close as you let out a satisfied moan because yep--you’ve really done well. To be fair, there was a lot riding on it. You had to perform well today, of all days.

You both eat comfortably and deeply, a striking contrast to how you’d eaten at the French restaurant. Renjun gives you more compliments as he eats and you keep grinning like an idiot, heart exploding with joy. At one point, you have to tell yourself to chill out, to not let a boy’s compliments make you feel so validated. But how could you not be on cloud nine when the boy in question is cute as fuck and you’ve just cooked for him for the very first time? So you just smile wide at him and hope he can’t see the hearts in your eyes or the victory in your attitude that you’ve really managed to turn this around. All the awkwardness from earlier seemed to have evaporated. 

“Okay, Y/N L/N. You were right. This is the best ramyeon I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.” he admits and you’re way too happy to see that he’s basically licked his bowl clean. 

“Oh man, Huang Renjun. I thought you were a survivor. But here you are, another cynic that I’ve managed to convert.” you say proudly.

“Yes. Here I am.” he smiles at you. 

And there it is again. The electricity in the air. Because Renjun is holding your gaze and once again, you become much too aware of his proximity. Were your bar stools always this close? Maybe you had to talk to Yeri about remodeling this area. You’re turning toward him and he’s sliding off the stool, his eyes never leaving yours. He comes closer and your heart thumps against your ribcage again. Your mind is clouded by his perfume because he’s so close that your hands find home on his shoulders. You forget to think for a moment; your blood throbbing hot in your ears as he leans in.

“I’m hooome!” 

The two of you jump, your heads turning in the direction of the loud voice. You turn back to look at each other, then you jump away from one another, almost as if the spell has been broken and you’ve realized how close you were and how dumb an idea this was. 

You lament your luck. You can’t believe you’ve been cockblocked out of your first kiss with Renjun by your stupid roommate. 

It was almost a week later that you heard from Renjun again. Not that you hadn’t really talked in between. If sending one another memes over Instagram counted as meaningful communication, then yes, you’d been in contact. But then a couple of days ago, he had texted you more than a full sentence:

“Hey! Remember the 127 party Donghyuck (Haechan) talked about? It’s this Friday. Do you maybe wanna go with me? If you don’t want to hang out with frat boys on your Friday night, I totally understand! We could hang out some other time.”

Sometimes, you really wondered if you had any sort of an inkling of pride within you at all, because you didn’t even wait another second to reply:

“You know I wouldn’t miss a single chance to hang out with Haechan. Text me the address and I’ll be there! (Also, what sort of a party is this? I don’t want to be underdressed like last time hehe.)”

Turned out the 127s were hosting some sort of an outdoor Sports Day, except with drinks a plenty so everyone would be knackered as they played. The setup reminded you of every ill-fated Sports Days you’d ever been to at school, except with a lot more booze than you remembered. The two of you had barely walked into the grounds when Haechan jumped in to greet you with the same unrestrained energy.

“My friends! The Coronial lovers! Mr. Huang Renjun!” Haechan had leaned in to kiss Renjun on the cheek but he had really skillfully dodged it, like he had predicted what he would do. “Ms. Y/N L/N.” your reflexes hadn’t been quite as quick as Renjun’s because you had ended up with a mask covered smooth on your cheek. It made you cringe and laugh at the same time. Haechan had very animatedly told you of all the games they had planned for today and had pushed you in, forcing you to mingle with the rest of the crowd. 

Renjun was currently being swarmed by the group of rowdy boys and you were watching with an amused expression on your face.

“Embarrassing. Some people should just not be let out in public.” you hear a voice just above your shoulder. You turn around and chuckle.

“Hendery. Didn’t think you were the kind to kick it with the 127s.” you chuckle.

“Neither did I. They’re cool I guess. I like Haechan. More people need to be as shameless as him.” he comments, knitting his brows together.

You smile wide. “I like him, too. He really keeps everyone together, doesn’t he?” you muse as you watch the boy work the room (or playground), currently attacking everyone with more cheek kisses. “Hey, who’s that boy over there? The one in the blue-ish shirt?” 

“That’s Kim Jungwoo. He graduated a couple of years ago but he keeps coming to these parties.” Hendery says, scrunching his nose.

You laugh and then let out a long sigh. “I don’t blame him. When I start thinking about life after graduation, it makes me want to fail my courses just so I could repeat them. The future is scary.”

He nods knowingly, then says, “Hey, speaking of which. I heard we’re going to be partners in the SMK Trainee Drive.” 

Suddenly, you feel your belly do a summersault. Whenever your college hosted a recruitment drive, SMK was always the hardest to get in, especially for business majors. Not only was it super competitive, but people dreamed of getting chosen because it almost always guaranteed a job once you had graduated. 

You blow air from your mouth and square your shoulders. “Wong Hendery. Let’s show them how it’s done.” you hold your hand up to give him a high five but he grips your fist with his and puts his game face on.

“We’re going to crush the competition.” He declares and you feel reassured. You felt way more driven with a partner than working solo, anyway.

“Hendery, don’t waste all your arm energy now, save it for the wrestling match!” Haechan interrupts, thumping him on the back. “Go find your team, we’re about to start! 00 liners, this way!” he says, throwing an arm around you and walking to your team. You look over your shoulder and give Hendery a thumbs up. 

You join the 00 liners and look at Renjun amongst them. He looks the most uninhibited you’ve ever seen him. He’s smiling without concern and seems to be enjoying himself. You get the feeling that he’s surrounded by friends he trusts and it fills you with warmth. That boy deserved the world as far as you were concerned. 

“Okay, team. Here we are. The moment of truth. We can sit around like a bunch of shmucks or we can leave this ground knowing that we owned this fucking school! So what are we gonna do?” he yells like a sports coach.

“We’re gonna stop being embarrassing.” Lee Jeno gives Haechan a death smile and Haechan thumps his chest.

“That’s right brother! Okay, first order of business. Everybody take a shot! No one enters the battlefield sober!” He gives his commander’s speech and passes around bottles of something. You’re not sure what it is but it smells strong. 

“Down on 3. 1, 2, 3!” he yells and without thinking, you down whatever you’d been handed. You groan out as it hits and look up to realize that your groans are harmonizing with the others. 

“Ohhhh yes! Now we’re ready! Okay, second order of business. We need an entrance song. I was thinking, Girl’s Generation…” Haechan goes on and you see that it has made Renjun laugh. You laugh along as Haechan makes the team learn the cheesiest dance moves. A boy in a headband you’ve never met seems to be fully into it; a few girls seem to be tagging along amused. Na Jaemin looks like he’s humoring his friends at best.

“Okay! Let’s get ittttt!” Haechan drags the last part and leads the charge towards the center of the ground for an arm wrestling battle. There is excitement in the air now, and you have a feeling that it has less to do with the match itself and more to do with whatever liquid courage Haechan had injected in everybody’s veins. You find yourself walking at pace with Na Jaemin.

“You doing alright there, buddy?” you ask him because the poor boy looks like he was once again dragged out here.

He gives you a kind smile “Yep. I’m all good.”

“Not really your scene, huh?” you ask empathetically.

“I mean, I’d much rather stay indoors but Jeno said I needed some fresh air. Renjun was going to stay in with me but he betrayed me last minute by deciding to be social.” He notes, throwing some kind of a look your way.

You give him an apologetic grimace. “Oh man, I’m sorry for ruining your plans. But where’s your girlfriend? Why didn’t you invite her?” 

“She’s quarantining.” he tells you patiently.

“Oh no! Is she okay?” you look at him, almost stopping in your tracks.

“She says she’s mostly all the way okay now, though she still doesn’t have her sense of smell back. But I guess any day now.” he nods, looking ahead.

You look at this profile and your heart goes out to him. “Hey, I know of a place that’s making these really cute care packages for people that have been affected. They’ve got a super safe system of delivery as well. I can hook you up if you like. They’ve got the cutest things for you to choose from.” 

He looks at you and gives you a genuine smile. “That would be great. She’s probably tired of all the soup I’ve been leaving at her doorstep.”

You give him a fond look. “Okay, cool. I’ll help you put it together and everything.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” he says before you are interrupted by a loud cheer because the first match has begun and it’s between the boy with the headband and someone else you don’t recognize. The match doesn’t last a full two seconds before the boy with the headband is defeated. Haechan plays up looking crestfallen and “lunges” at the opponent but is playfully stopped by Renjun and the defeated boy. You throw your head back and laugh out loud. You were maybe enjoying these dramatic antics a little too much, but also, it was nice to see Renjun letting loose like that.

Haechan is up next and is defeated just as quickly and you soon realize your team stood no chance. A couple more boys from your team go next and it’s a bloodbath. No matter how much you cheer your teammates on, they’re dropping like flies. By the time Na Jaemin walks up to the stand, you’ve all pretty much accepted your fate. 

But then. Jaemin’s arm slowly starts crossing over the midline and then the 00 liners are on their toes jumping up and down, cheering on top of their lungs and before you know it, Jaemin has earned you guys your first victory.

“Go Nana!” you hear people scream followed by a chanting of “Superstar! Superstar!” 

You cheer along and watch as Jaemin-the-dark-horse defeats two more opponents in a row. And when he earns yet another victory, the 00 liners are going berserk, with Haechan yelling “Victory shots!” making you guys chug down whatever drinks you’re holding. But that becomes your undoing because Jaemin finally loses to Lee Mark, a senior boy.

A few girls from each team have their go and there’s an uproar when it’s pointed out that the boys were letting them win. It’s a loud, drunken commotion now and you don’t realize it is Rejun’s turn till Haechan points it out for you and much to your amusement, he’s up against Hendery.

“Go Renjun! I believe in you!” you cheer at him as he takes his place.

“Go Injuniee!” Haechan yells and you all watch for a moment with bated breath; but as soon as the match begins, you’re all doubling over, laughing. Renjun is no match for Hendery and he knows it, which is why he’s taken the opportunity to turn this into a comedy show. You laugh as Renjun hangs onto Hendery’s arm and wiggles his legs animatedly. But Hendery holds his ground well and let’s Renjun put on a show for everyone before he puts some girth in his hold and flattens Renjun out in one. Renjun walks back defeated and you welcome him back just as dramatically, like he’s a soldier returning from war.

“You did well, Injunie.” you put an arm around him and tell him and he grins at you before he is swarmed by the rest of your team. Your opponents are declared the winners but you guys do your Girl’s Generation dance anyway and take more victory shots.

You guys have no idea how you make it through the rest of the day because by the time you’re on your last game (a strange relay race that involves complicated costumes and eating donuts hanging from strings), you’re stumbling and being rowdier than usual. You’re yelling at one another, trying to get Yangyang (as you’ve learnt is the name of the boy in the headband) in his many legged costume but it is more complicated than usual because none of you are in your right mind. You, in fact, don’t remember the last time you got this drunk... Yeri would be proud. 

There is more commotion and many more arguments over what the actual finish line is, because by the end, even the self-appointed referees are knackered beyond belief. You don’t know how it happens but all of a sudden, Kim Jungwoo has been declared the winner of tonight, though all the games you played were in teams. But this funny result is agreeable to everyone because Jungwoo is being tossed in the air and being presented with a mini beer keg. Turns out, there wasn’t much that college students wouldn’t celebrate... if you’d put enough drink in them.

You find yourself jumping up and down along with the rest and you don’t realize that you’ve stumbled till Renjun catches you and you’re smiling at him so widely. You’re pretty sure your face is flushed a bright, drunk color because Renjun is looking down at you with an amused smile.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You alright there?” he asks and you loop your arms around his neck till you’re basically hanging onto him.

“I’m having the best time ever, Injunie.” you tell him but your words are coming out all sloshed so you try to make yourself clear. “Best time. Best time. Why does it sound so funny in my mouth? Best time. Best time.”

Renjun raises his eyebrows but his smile keeps growing. “Okay, time to take you home.”

“Nooo, Injunie, but Haechan was going to show me how to make his death cocktail and I have to help Jaemin make a package for his girlfriend and I’ve made a new friend and her name is Lia and I can’t leave now!” you whine at him, grabbing a fistfull of his hoodie. Damn, why do your words keep sloshing around in your mouth like that?

Renjun loops an arm around your back and starts walking you “Okay, you can just take a quick nap at home and then when you come back you can do all of those things, okay?”

You consider his words and realize that your eyes were droopier than usual. “You’re a genius, Huang Renjun. I guess I could take a little, itsy bitsy nap.”

The next thing you know, you’re in the back of a cab, your head resting on Renjun’s shoulder. He feels so nice and warm and you feel so damn comfortable. You cuddle closer to him and turn your head to look at him just a bit. “I’ve got such a bad crush on you, Huang Renjun.” you tell him and you see his head snap in the direction of your voice and you want to keep talking to him but your eyes are closing again. 

When you wake up in the morning, you have no recollection of how you got back home but Yeri’s making you her hangover tea and telling you how proud of you she was.

Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.

[darthwheezely]

grande - g.w.

Summary: George meets a mighty adorable barista in the new cafe on Diagon Alley and the man just can’t help himself... based off the song Coffee Girl by Johnny Socko! Sorry this took me absolute ages (9 days oops) to get out, guys :/

Warnings: DIABETIC FLUFF STUPID AMOUNTS OF CARDIAC ARREST INDUCING FLUFF UWU,mentions of sexism, Fred being Fred, cussing probably, alludes to sex, PG/PG-13

taglist or people that might like this but idk: @theweasleyslut @kitwalker02 @loony-loopy-lupinn @wand3ringr0s3 @gcdric @thehufflepuffwife @monoscandal @lupinsclassroom @whiz-bangs78 @vogueweasley @rogueweasleys @band--psycho @lumosandnoxwriting @oh-for-merlins-sake @amxrtentias @virgohufflepuff @vivianweasley

George Weasley didn’t sleep. This had long been the habit of his ever since he and his parents had discovered that his elder twin Fred had been an avid sleepwalker by age 4, then became a (minor) party animal in his Hogwarts days, and finally when he became the co-owner of one of the Wizard World’s most successful entrepreneurs and business owners.

The man hadn’t slept in about 18 years give or take. And days like this reminded him of it constantly.

It was a Saturday, the first of the month, and to boot, it was about to be Christmas in a little over a week. Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes was packed with everyone from couples window shopping, children in desperate need of fun now that school was out, parents trying to keep them in line, and even some old lady named Ethel (who swore she was part Veela, and therefore Fred couldn’t “escape her girlish charm.”)

“Ethel, you have an absolutely ravishing day, and don’t even worry about that moisturizer it’d be a waste of product on a natural beauty like you” Fred winked and kissed the old lady’s hand, George watching from the top of the steps rolling his eyes.

“Oh, Freddie, you know how to keep a lady young, don’t you? Oh - goodbye, Georgie! Have a good rest of your day boys!” She waved majestically to the younger twin on the stairs and he bowed royally in response.

“Bye, Ethel!” They both called as she exited the building, the bells flurrying in her wake.

“Georgie, mate, hate to say it but you are being uncharacteristically quiet and it’s making me uncharacteristically uncomfortable.” Fred said bounding up the stairs to meet him, chuckling briefly.

“Freddie, mate, hate to say it but I’ve had absolutely no sleep as of late and it’s getting to me. But I’ll be back up to my usual antics in no time.” He padded down the stairs, winking at a couple young ladies ogling him, sending them into a fit of giggles. Fred sat down on the middle step eyeing his brother carefully. It didn’t take a genius to see George wasn’t holding on much longer, the dark circles littering his eyes and the way he mussed up his already purposely messy hair just...didn’t comfort his older twin at all.

“George.” Fred sighed, George looking back at him, confused. He took his hands away from the merchandise Wonder Witch he’d been rearranging and gave him full attention.

“Take your lunch break early. And longer if possible.”

“Pffft, why would I do that when I have women to woo and boxes to juggle?”

“George.”

“Fred.”

“Stop, I mean it. You look half dead as it is, just go take a nap or get an espresso from the cafe down the aisle or something that reinforces the idea that yes, you are a human being and no, not a zombie.” Fred crossed his arms feeling suddenly a lot like Molly and dropped the cross. George pretended to ponder this tapping his chin, rather finding the mature brother role reversal funny as hell.

“Oh, alright, but can I still be a zombie when I get back?”

Fred hit him with a folder and sent him on his way.

-•-•-

You had just finished the lunch rush, finally being able to calm down and not have to worry about making one more goddamn Butterbeer Latte for at least another 20 or so minutes...until there’d be another rush. You grabbed a lemon scone, took off your apron and sat against the back counter. You inhaled the citrus scent, it was always something that you loved to savor, and took a bite.

The holidays for the Merlin’s Mochas, the cafe, had been absolutely atrocious so far. All you had for customers were angry businessmen, bratty kids and their upper class parents who let them run around the already small place being rude to everyone, your boss Lionel who had an affinity for calling every woman who worked there a “bitch” (...ok lionel) and to top it all off: you’d been pulling 9 hour days every day except sundays. Needless to say: you kind of super hated your job.

You had just finished your scone when you heard the door chime signal a customer, immediately wiping your hands on your jeans and restrapping your apron.

“Hi how can I-“ oh Jesus this is the hottest man I have ever seen. He was easily no older than 23, fiery red hair, a perfectly tailored striped terracotta suit, green tie, and the most gorgeous doe brown eyes you’d ever seen.

“How can you...?”

“Help you, ohmygod, I am so sorry I’m super-“

“Tired? Yeah me too...interesting how similar we are this early in the game hmm?” He winked at you and your knees felt too weak. No he was just a stupid hot customer that also was really hot and also? Was super hot. No worries, Y/N, just don’t die by 22 okay thanks.

“Very funny...wait are you-“ your finger led from him to the statue outside Wizard Wheezes, realizing a simple oh shit

“Yeah, that would be me. Or my twin Fred but we never really decided, that’s why he kind of looks like both of us mixed. Although we’re twins so we basically look the same anyway. I mean because were identical. Twins, yeah.” George, what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you sweating? She’s just a simply beautiful girl in a simply maddeningly purple coffee shop can you please breathe and not make yourself look stupid-

“Oh, wow! I’ve never met a twin before - not like twins are anomalies or anything it’s just so crazy. Science. Science is crazy” You closed your eyes and took a breath

“We should probably start over shouldn’t we?” You wrinkled your nose.

“That sounds much more redeeming than anything we both were about to say” George breathed out laughing softly, rubbing his hand through his hair.

“I’m George. Weasley. Like I said, I work at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, the shop over there, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen this place before...or you for that matter, I never forget a beautiful young woman.” He said smoothly, his heart steadily subsiding - something about you had the power to not only make him scared out of his mind, but also totally at ease.

You returned the smile, warmly, the blood rushing to your cheeks at his compliment and sticking your tongue to your teeth. “Well, George Weasley, of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes I’m Y/N Y/L/N. And yeah, we’re new around here,” you leaned further onto the counter, realizing, albeit a moment too late that your eye level was directly with his abs now, and although he was wearing a suit...you could definitely tell they were there.

“We erm, just opened three months ago. It’s honestly a bit of a time to work here.”

“Oh and why is that?”

“Well, nothing like a blatant sexist to run an entirely female employed establishment and weird stuffy rich people.” Your eyes widened suddenly, and you felt like you had said far too much far too soon. But he gasp-laughed - laugh that ended as soon as it began and burst into a smile...like you had shared a secret with him.

“What the hell is he doing here then? Got a boy’s club to run in a purple coffee shop?”

“I mean you never really know these days, George, imposters are among us at every moment” you purred and pushed off the counter, meaning it as a joke but George’s heart screamed when he heard your name. As you moved to the other edge of the counter, he followed you.

“What a resourceful and cruel young woman, I am starting to like you, Miss Y/L/N.” He clucked. “And do you think of me like you think of Mr. I-Hate-Women-That’s-Why-I-Hire-Them?” He got inches from your face, smelling the coffee beans and vanilla extract that riddled your skin.

“Hmm...Mr. Weasley, I’m not so sure.” You coyly stepped away from him and took long strides to the far end of the coffee bar by the wall. George immediately felt a pit of flirtatious butterflies and (arousal?) something more in his stomach, jaw dropped, he followed you again. He pressed his hands to the counter in front of you.

“Well, how can I convince you?” He asked rather quickly.

“Hmm...” you leaned forward like he did before and his breath hitched in his throat “...let’s get you a cuppa first.”

-•-

“Wait, okay let me get this straight-“

“Yes?”

“You have 6 other siblings.”

“Yes.”

“...because your mom wanted a girl?”

“That-that would in fact be true, yes.”

You thought for a moment.

“So you’re telling me after she made it through you two-“

“-she still wanted to have more of us, believe me, it races through my mind daily.” He nodded vehemently laughing with you. You two had taken to the empty cafe at a table nestled in the corner, him sitting in a chair across from you on a bench. You had both been cracking each other up with stories from your childhoods, like how you both had managed to never know of the other’s existence until now.

He’d discovered that you had transferred from Hogwarts to Beauxbatons early on in your fourth year. You, a Hufflepuff, loved the quiet and soft landscape of the French school. You both had absolutely no idea the other existed. How? The world may never know.

He was brash. You were careful.

He was already flying when you were just feeling comfortable learning how to walk.

But you sat there with him for the better amount of an hour and a half, laughing and interrupting each other with memories of the school years you had, some weird and strange, and especially during fourth year, hard for George to talk about.

Ginny, his baby sister, had almost died. And as he said to you in a candid and highly vulnerable state: he blamed himself for almost letting her go to this day.

“I...I really do believe it was my fault.”

“George, it couldn’t have been your fault. Hogwarts is a big freaking death trap - you and I both know that,” you had said with an exasperated laugh, eager to make him feel better in any facet.

“Yeah, but...I’m her big brother. Yes, she has five other older brothers but...we were supposed to protect her.” He swallowed and blinked back tears. “It was her first year, for Christ’s sake, and I paid about as much attention to her as a doorknob would.” He had rolled his jaw and taken a gulp of his gingerbread latte (you had said it was your favorite, and he was loathe to try anything else) and you had softly draped your hand on top of his.

“If she’s as kind and loving and funny as you, I’d love to meet her.” You quipped, a small smile growing on your face in effort to soothe. He had smiled back at you, turning your hand over in his and drawing his digits lazily over your palm.

“Funny, because I was thinking the same thing.”

-•-

He had told you to close your eyes, that much had been true.

See, his coffee had started to get cold. So, like if you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll have to have some milk-

If you give a George a latte he will have to not only have another one, but also feel the strenuous need to show off for you and take you to his place of work. Naturally. And it was so lucky that by the time he’d proposed you leave, he even helped you clean and lock up afterwards.

Truthfully, it almost scared you how much he had seemed to care.

“Alright, Y/N, darling, I’m going to release my hands on the count of three, yeah?”

“Perfect, Georgie” you giggled. You’d legitimately only knew him for so long, but you just...you trusted him. He grinned widely, his strong hands only applying a slight amount of pressure as not to hurt you.

“Alright, then. 1. 2-“ he took his hands off your eyes and watched you adjust not only to light, but to your surroundings as well.

“3.” He breathed out taking in the way you smiled like a teenager, face alight with pure inundating wonder. You squealed and started to run around the store.

“Look at these! Pygmy Puffs - ugh they’re so adorable look at this one! Oh, oh - ‘Fizzing Whizbees’ - these look absolutely wicked! And Per- ‘Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder’?” You picked up the glittery stone in your hand, and heard a smooth voice perk up behind you.

“A real money spinner, that one.” You turned around and there was a man that looked absolutely identical to George, although entirely different in the same way.

“Handy if you need to make a quick getaway,” you heard George on the other side of you. He smiled warmly down at you, nodding his head up to look at the twin across from him.

“Y/N, this is my-“

“-older, much more attractive and fiscally responsible brother.” He winked and you blushed almost immediately. “Fred. Weasley.”

“Y/N Y/L/N. Georgie has told me a lot about you and the shop - absolutely marvelous this place is, I cant believe you two created so much in such a short span of time. Brilliant it all is, really!” George had started to flush, rubbing his jaw to seemingly take the red away from his striking face. Fred, upon hearing the genuine warmth from your voice and the unmistakable use of “Georgie” had a small, but highly distinct aha moment:

“Well, we couldn’t have done it all on our own, one of our best friends helped us out a good lot. But thank you, really...it means so much when other people see how much we do and-” he looked directly at George.

“-acknowledge the things we love, right George?”

“Absolutely, Frederick.” Fred had given him the look that seemed to imply: “please, God, make a damn move.”

“Well, Y/N, I’m going to be off and woo some ladies, have a biscuit and do some paperwork” he smiled wide when you giggled, already enjoying your company.

“But I hope to see you again, very soon, yeah? Please stop by whenever you can, we’re alwYs just down the street.”

“Freddie, for your company, I’m not so sure, I’m still deciding.” You quipped. Fred laughed heartily at that and looked at George.

“Georgie, I like this one.” George looked at you and winked.

“Me, too Freddie, me too.” You leaned back on your heels as Fred padded back up the stairs to the flat, now completely alone with George. You threw your arms behind you back and forth and took a long stride to George.

“So...what are you those?” You nodded up to the array of pink bubbles in a clam shape in the corner. He hummed and reached to grab your hand.

“Love potions - c-can I show you?” He raised an eyebrow slightly, but he felt his whole body turn to mush when you accepted his hand and nodded slowly. As he walked with you, you memorized the feeling of his callouses and veins, the way your hand curled deliberately in his.

You wanted to make sure if it was the last time you felt something like that, you had that memory with you for a while.

“Essentially, if you give these to a person they will temporarily have feelings of love and attraction for you. Depending of course on the dosage you use and the weight of the person in question.” He explained. You watched the way his suit jacket pulled taut against his back muscles and instinctively wanted to honestly just take the whole thing off-

“Hmm...I don’t know about these, Georgie.” You hummed mischievously. Your heart was pounding in your chest.

He scoffed placing a dramatic hand over his heart. “Am i being questioned in my own establishment, Miss Y/L/N?”

You rolled your eyes and hit his arm, bowing slightly at him. “Well, do forgive my feminine insolence, Mr. Weasley, it’s not often I meet such bewitching mad scientists like you.” You watched his face grow blank for a moment at your compliment and immediately wanted to throw up.

“George, I’m really sorry, I know we just became friends-“

“Do you mean it?” He took a step towards you. You swallowed finding again his perfect milk chocolate eyes. You nodded.

“Hell yeah I did, you’re smart...and wicked hot” you both laughed at that. He took another step, the distance being unbearably harder to live in as his digits found a piece of hair and wound it behind your ear.

“Well, darling, the feeling is quite mutual.” He said quietly, taking in the whole of your face. He wanted to crash his lips onto every possible nook and crevice of your face, collide with you entirely.

“We’re going to have to do something about that, then, aren’t we?” You gently nudged his nose with yours and wrapped your arms around his neck, his strong and powerful arms pulling you to him gently. He wanted you to feel him not to break under his embrace. He leaned down and brushed his lips up to yours, feeling you whine and let out a minuscule sound.

“Got you making noises for me already and haven’t even kissed you yet, hmm?”

Your eyes fluttered close and one of your legs made it’s way in between his, snapping any chance at loose air between you two out of the way.

“Please, Weasley, pants a bit small for you?”

“Keep talking like that and they might, yeah.” You two laughed softly and with a final look to your lips he closed the last gap.

His mouth was perfect. His lips ghosted over yours one last time before wrapping every part of himself onto your frame, your lips entangled in each other like you’d never be able to taste him again.

But it was loving and slow and sweet. He tasted like gingerbread lattes and pastries and cinnamon and licking into his mouth you could feel the spice. He moaned lightly into your mouth, sending your knees buckling. He dipped you slightly, a hand traveling to your lower back to keep you steady, and his other hand coming up to nestle under the nape of your hair. Your hands caressed his face, his chest, needless to say? You wanted them everywhere. You wanted him everywhere.

The kiss broke and you and George were left breathless in each other’s hold, your foreheads pressed together as he kept you slightly dipped.

“Y/N, I’m feeling a bit tired” he quipped hoarsely, pressing a brief kiss to your lips and onto your neck. You hummed satisfactorily.

“Georgie, you’re gonna need another latte aren’t you?” You set multiple chaste kisses to his lips and cheeks, feeling him rumble with a small giggle. He caught your mouth with his and you moaned slightly.

“I’m gonna need a whole pot, to drink you in, love.”

[wheeler-beretta-harwood]

Hey S.T changing it up tonight. How about some questions instead (while I think of a new prompt)

1) Top 6 Favorite Wrestlers

2) Top 6 Hated/Dislike Wrestlers

3) When did you start watching wrestling?

4) What promotions do you watch?

5) First wrestling match you remember watching

6) Ever been to any wrestling shows/events?

7) Favorite Wrestling Story Line

8) Least Favorite Wrestling Story Line

9) 1st fanfiction you ever wrote

10) What do you love most about wrestling?

I can’t wait to read your answers 💜💚

Sorry in advance, I got a little carried away. So you don't have to read through all my rambling if you don't want to. These were fun questions, though, thanks for asking!

1) Top 6 Favorite Wrestlers

I feel like I need to give some background information, so prepare for a long answer to this.

1. Cash Wheeler/ FTR: Who would've guessed, huh? Cash's my favorite, across all categories. Honestly, he is criminally underrated. Have you seen him in the ring? He is ridiculously fast! And very precise! I love that when Dax is in the ring, he moves around like a hunter circling his prey. Everything seems very calculated, very planned. I like that. What I enjoy even more though, is when he tags in Cash and the whole pace changes. He's like a pitbull off the fucking leash. I genuinely feel like ya'll are sleeping on the man.

And FTR made me fall in love with wrestling again, with a style of wrestling I hadn't appreciated before. They always say they have no fancy moves, and it might be true, but their storytelling in the ring is unmatched for me.

On a very personal note, I have to thank these two little shitheads because they have helped me conquer my depression to some degree. For years, I have been struggling, losing all interest in things I've usually enjoyed, like drawing, writing/reading, and generally being creative. I just went to work, then went home and stayed in bed for the rest of the day/night.

It's funny to me that two guys who don't even know that I exist have helped me through some of the darkest times of my life and brought some joy back. I owe them more than I could ever tell. (And yes, I shed a tear while I wrote this). So if any of you ever says something negative about these two, go kindly fuck yourself.

[From here on, answers will get shorter]

2. Kenny Omega: God, I just love this man. I can't really describe what it is, but there is something poetic in the way he moves. There's just a certain grace about him that demands my attention when he's in the ring. Plus I love his geeky side. We actually have the same taste when it comes to Anime, so I like him even more.

3. Christian Cage: In my early teens, 20 years ago, I had a major crush on Christian. Over the years, the crush turned into general admiration, and he still brings a smile to my face everytime I see him. I've always enjoyed his work as a heel, and can't wait for him to turn again.

4. MJF: Maxwell is a star in the making. I mean, he already is one, but imagine him in 10 years. It's gonna be magical. His dedication to his in-ring persona is unmatched and he can turn shit to gold. Personally, I thought the whole campaign against Mox was a stupid storyline, but I enjoyed it because it was MJF. That's how good he is.

5. Scott Hall: I always say he was my first wrestling crush, but he wasn't really. I was 6 years old, he was like 30 years older, I certainly didn't crush on him. My brother owned an original Game Boy and had this WWF game called either RAW or Kind of the Ring. When he didn't play, I'd always snatch the Game Boy and played. And I always played as Razor Ramon. Later, when I saw him on TV, I immediately knew this was my guy. God, he was soooooo cool.

6. CM Punk: I loved him in WWE. The Pipe bomb will always be one of the best wrestling moments I have ever witnessed. And Punk is the reason, I started watching AEW. My brother tried to talk me into it for quite some time, but I always turned him down saying I was done with wrestling. Then, last year, he tried one last time and told me Punk would come back. I couldn't say no to that, and when he really walked out, I smiled like an idiot at the TV. Then, the start was a bit rough, because he didn't feel like 'My Punk' in the beginning, but I love his recent work.

2) Top 6 Hated/Disliked Wrestlers

1. Shawn Michaels: Hear me out, I don't hate the man because Dax hates him. I've hated Michaels way before I knew Dax existed. I just never liked him. Plus, the Sweet Chin Music is the worst finisher of all time. Yes, I know wrestling is fake, but don't make it that obvious. You really want to make me believe that your opponent is so beat down that he doesn't hear you stomp your goddamn foot 3293 times for 10 minutes straight?! Like he doesn't have a clue what might happen next?! It's a goddamn kick that happens many times in a match, but because you stomped like a little toddler whose mama didn't buy him candy, it'll end a match? Yeah, right.

2. Darby Allin: Hate is a strong word, but I just don't get him. When I started watching, I thought I'd love this guy because aesthetically, his style is my cup of tea. He was a let-down for me though. Plus, I hate the Coffin Drop as finisher.

3. Hulk Hogan: Just a douche in general.

4. Sammy Guevara: I don't dislike him, I am just very indifferent to him. Which I don't understand myself, his matches are good. I just can't warm up to him.

5. Charlotte Flair: same as Sammy.

6. Kelly Kelly: I am talking about young Kelly Kelly that got handed everything on a silver plate while not being all that good. I have no idea what she is doing now, and I honestly don't care.

3) When did you start watching wrestling?

As with a lot of things I have come to love, it was actually my older brother introducing me. I might have been 5 when I really started to get interested in the whole idea of wrestling, then it was part of my life until my mid-twenties when I stopped watching altogether. It was just recently that I started watching AEW (watched all the older Dynamite episode later) and fell in love with it again.

4) What promotions do you watch?

Right now, it's just AEW. I have fallen out of love with WWE years ago. When there was a way to watch here in Germany, I enjoyed Lucha Underground, TNA for some time, and I loved WCW back in the day.

5) First wrestling match you remember watching

Undertaker vs Undertaker, Summerslam 94. Because my brother loved The Undertaker, and he watched that match about 2374375 times.

6) Ever been to any wrestling shows/events?

I have been to two WWE shows here in Germany, maybe in 2004, 2005? And there also was a TNA Show close to where I live. But other than that, sadly no. I have made my peace with the fact that I will (most likely) NEVER see FTR live (just typing it actually breaks my heart)

7) Favorite Wrestling Story Line

Hmmm, honestly, about anything that includes CM Punk or MJF. I am a sucker for good promos, and these two ALWAYS deliver. So I am going with their feud against each other. MJF is just killing it, and I love how he blurrs the links between show and reality.

8) Least Favorite Wrestling Story Line

This was a tough one. And then I remembered it: There was this absolute shitty storyline with Kane and Lita...where he forced her into marriage? Then, at some point, she was okay with it...then 'pregnant' and then lost the kid? That was the most fucked up shit I have ever seen happening in a wrestling ring.

9) 1st fanfiction you ever wrote

In general, a one shot for the Anime 'Bleach'. In my high school years. I'm pretty sure it sucked.

Wrestling wise? The Cash Wheeler one shot 'Weirdo' that I wrote in March this year.

I actually didn't write a whole lot when I was younger, because I never got any feedback on it and thought no one liked it.

So I am more than happy to get some opinions here on tumblr. Although, in my adult mind, I probably would write some of it anyway. Like I would write Meant To Be, even if no one read it. I'd just do it for myself.

10) What do you love most about wrestling?

To me, wrestling is like dancing combined with drama class. There are (at least) two bodies moving together in order to tell you a story. In between, someone holds a monologue, explaining his intentions, thoughts, goals. More dancing. Dialogue. More violent dancing.

Honestly, I can't explain it. It's just, if it's good wrestling, it makes you feel. This year, I have seen the best match I'll probably ever witness. FTR vs Briscoes. Never ever have I felt a match like I felt this one. The four men had me wrapped around their fingers. I rewatched it every day for 4 weeks and was still amazed by it. It's a feeling I can't explain, and it's what I like most about wrestling.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Starkid Musicals Ranked from Worst to Best

Salutations to you, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Welp. I finally did it. I've watched the entire Starkid musical library, and I must say, most of these plays fit my writing style perfectly:

Humor that is cynical yet random

Leaning in with comedy while sprinkling in some well-executed drama

An understanding that any type of story works as long as the cast of varying personalities of characters is dynamic enough to result in some phenomenal chemistry.

This is in almost all of their plays, excelled through fantastic writing and stellar performances driving the overall quality. And it inspired me not only to review each musical, but also ranking them all from worst to best. Or, more accurately, least good to most good. Because even at their "worst," Starkid still provides a funny, enjoyable experience that will keep you laughing with its comedy and your toes tapping with its catchy music. So strap in as I go in-depth into how Starkid proves how they are the masters of humor and melody.

(I'll also provide links to each musical, which is all for free on YouTube, so you can check them out yourselves. Just know that their early work is impossible to enjoy without subtitles, so you might want to have Closed Captions on when watching.)

#12-Holy Musical B@man-Everything about this play makes it seem like it's the weakest to me. The jokes, songs, and characters in Holy Musical B@tman just don't hit as hard as Starkid's other plays. It's still good, but compared to their best, the cracks show a lot more. That is, except for the ending. Not only is there a great speech that shows what makes superheroes so beloved, but "Super Friends" might just be my favorite finale song Starkid has ever put out. Holy Musical B@tman may not be the best, but it's at least worth the time.

#11-Firebringer-This was stupid. Really stupid. Funny as f**k, but still pretty stupid. Although I will give credit to one of the central pairings being LGBTQA+...Even though it makes little to no sense based on the characters' previous interactions. But in fairness, Starkid really sucks at writing good romantic relationships, so at least Firebringer has the benefit of being gay. And as we all know: The gayer, the better. The play is still stupid, though.

#10-Me and My Dick-The world in this musical makes little to no sense. Penises and vaginas are sentient and can communicate with their humans. And yet the penises and vaginas can also talk with each other, form relationships, leave their humans, and reinsert themselves into others--Yeah, it makes no sense...But, DAMN, is it funny! Every joke and innuendo Me and My Dick has about human anatomy works, and I could not stop laughing at each of them. Especially the names that were given to the vaginas, which are just...I mean, I'm laughing just by thinking about them. That should tell you how funny they are. This play might be illogical in every way, but if you turn your brain off and watch it for the humor, you'll definitely be in for something fun.

#9-ANI: A Parody-What's weird about ANI is that its best qualities are also weaknesses. A good chunk of the jokes are hilarious and expertly delivered. The issue is that most of them are about taking potshots at the Star Wars prequels, which might be the laziest jokes to make in a Star Wars parody. Then there's the soundtrack, having several songs that are a bop to listen to. The problem is that ANI suffers from the same issues as Tarzan and Brother Bear: Yes, technically, it is a musical, but it's one where none of the characters sing, and some people in the background do all the singing instead. It's all an odd balancing act of quality content made through questionable choices. ANI is still an entertaining play, but the force isn't as strong with this one.

#8-Black Friday-This might be the least funny play that Starkid has ever put out. Not just because it leans extra hard into drama, which was pretty effective during certain scenes. It's just when there are jokes in Black Friday, they tend to fall flatter more here than they did in other plays. Also, the plot of Black Friday might not be the best one to play straight. The serious moments work best when focusing on the characters and their personal struggles, but through the big bad that's supposed to be threatening? Not so much. Even if it was meant to be funny, well, I wasn't laughing. And believe it or not, I consider that to be the best judge of whether or not something is funny. That being said, while Black Friday isn't the most humorous Starkid musical, it's still pretty good. The characters are excellent, the songs are awesome, and the story is somewhat easy to follow. I would have appreciated a few more laughs, but I can respect these talented people wanting to challenge their strengths.

#7-Starship-This play feels very...Disney. It follows a familiar formula we've seen several times: The main character wants more than what he has in his crappy life, miraculously gets the exact thing he wants, falls in love with a girl in a short amount of time, faces off against a campy/over the top villain, realizes the hand he's been dealt isn't so bad, and in the end, gets what he wants anyway. Starship is still pretty entertaining through its jokes, characters, and songs, but it also feels weird that Starkid leans into these tropes when they would eventually make a much better play by making fun of them. The end result is not bad in the slightest, but it's also nowhere near their best.

#6-A Very Potter Musical-Starkid's first production, and boy, what a start to something wonderful. Every one of their gimmicks and motifs is present in A Very Potter Musical. The use of parody to playfully mock characters and stories they love, making songs that are as funny as they are emotional, and creating characters that work because of their lines and the actors' performances. Oh, and also, it's funny. And it’s not just through a parody angle, like making Cedric be a perfect boy who's always smiling. It's also funny through its jokes that work, even if you ignore the fact that it’s a parody altogether. Case in point, there are these two bits, one involving Voldemort and Beatrix with the other involving Ron and Hermoine, that are written and delivered so well that I was in tears much more than with any other Starkid play. When watching A Very Potter Musical, you'll not only understand how parody works, but you'll also gain an understanding of why Starkid turned out as successful as they did.

#5-The Trail to Oregon-What can I say? I'm a sucker for comedic dysfunctional families. And seeing a family of idiots make their way to Oregon via The Oregon Trail parody? Yeah, that's a win for me. The play may be another family road trip narrative, which some people might get sick of at this point. But because the dynamics and comedic chemistry everyone has with each other are on point, the end result proves that you don't need an original story to tell an entertaining one. Although I will say that out of all of Starkid's productions, The Trail to Oregon has by far the worst ending. Without giving anything away, the play spends way too much time on this one stupid joke that any of the characters could make. Comedy is defined by personalities, as are most things, so making the joke work for anyone is a bad move when this one, in particular, doesn't fit as well for some characters as it would for others. Plus, the finale song "Naked in a Lake" is a really poor choice to cap off this musical. It's catchy, but to me, a finale song should encapsulate everything about the story, characters, and themes. Not paying off a joke that I honestly wouldn't want the payoff for. So while the ending could have used a lot more polish, that doesn't change how The Trail to Oregon is a pretty funny play that I won't mind revisiting when I have the chance.

#4-A Very Potter Sequel-Hey, sometimes a sequel is better than the original. Sure some jokes don't land, and some story beats aren't as impactful as they thought they were (Serious Black's introduction, for example), but there are far more improvements to this play than the last one. The performances are stronger, the jokes are funnier, the music is catchier, and the characters are much more entertaining in this play than in A Very Potter Musical. Especially new additions like Lupin and Lucious Malfoy, who provide great comedy and sublime drama at times. And Umbridge. Sweet Mother of all that is holy, Umbridge. While A Very Potter Sequel never made me laugh to tears as the first play did, twice, Professor Umbridge carries the comedy so well that she surpasses all of that. Plus, on top of it all, this play nails its ending through a bittersweet note that really captures what makes Hogwarts so special to these characters. I always feel like Starkid's plays tend to lose steam during the last few minutes, but A Very Potter Sequel is one of the few instances that it just builds and builds to a perfect ending. A Very Potter Sequel might not always hit the right marks, but the results are just magical when it does get it right.

#3-The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals-This one is pretty clever. The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is one of those stories that manages to be explicitly hilarious yet implicitly disturbing. For instance, people suddenly bursting into perfectly choreographed musical numbers in a world where songs are exclusively diegetic is pretty funny (especially through the characters' reactions to it). However, knowing what happens to these people and why they sing and dance so expertly helps make the whole situation pretty dire. It's an excellent balancing act that not many stories can accomplish. And while The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals leans one way or the other at times, it's still all handled really well. Oh, and also, you know how most people say the villain song is the best one in any musical? Well, technically speaking, nearly every song in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is the villain song. Including the finale, which is just too brilliant for me not to give a round of applause. If you're a person who unfortunately doesn't like musicals either, I'd say be more than willing to give this one a chance. It's funny, catchy, and if you think of the implications, pretty damn disturbing.

#2-A Very Potter Senior Year-...You know how Avengers: Endgame is a bit of a mess, yet people still love it for how much of a perfect (sort of) finale it is? It's the same regard with A Very Potter Senior Year in my eyes. It's far from a masterpiece, but the many, many solid scenes that cap off this series help make me willing to overlook the mistakes. The characters, callbacks, and overall message about how things end was done so expertly well that I physically can’t hate this one. I can understand how it's more of an ok play when compared to the rest of Starkid's productions, but sometimes, ok is wonderful.

#1-Twisted: An Untold Story of a Royal Vizier-...It's Twisted. Everyone loves Twisted! And how could they not? Everything about this play just screams Starkid at their best. The comedy is uproarious, added with the fantastic delivery of the actors and the characters' personalities. Everyone feels as though they have one step in reality and the other in insanity. This, to me, seems like the best type of character work when going for the parody angle. Parody is about giving slight yet snide remarks toward the work you're mocking, which I feel works best when characters drop the suspension of disbelief audiences have when enjoying such a story. And Twisted definitely nails its satire in not only poking fun at Aladdin but also making jokes towards Disney as a brand. From their movies to their inside jokes to their formulas to even their corporate dealings with Pixar, nothing about Disney is sacred in Twisted. But on top of being funny, Twisted might just be the most successful Starkid has been with telling some really compelling drama. The jokes allow themselves to take a back seat to let serious moments play out, and even comedy is added, it provides more for the experience rather than taking anything away. You see this not only through the actors giving it their all but even through some really gorgeous and heart wrenching musical numbers. Oh, and also, Twisted has the best Starkid soundtrack, featuring songs that are epic, funny, and, as I said, heartbreaking. You cannot get better than this and, if you want to get a friend interested in Starkid as a whole, this might be the play for them. Scheherazade may have a thousand tales, but his one is a tale I wouldn't mind hearing for a thousand nights.

And that's about how I feel about Starkid and each and every one of their plays. Odds are your ranking would be much different from mine, and I'm all for that differing opinions. Feel free to make your own ranking if you want because I'm honestly curious where fans would place these plays above or below others. I'm relatively new to enjoying their work, so I have no idea what the consensus is. I do know one thing, though: If Starkid can still be incredibly entertaining through over ten years of content, then I am excited to see what they can accomplish next in another ten years.

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Definitive Ranking of Every ML Episode as of 4/22/21

Are you guys ready for this? I did the thing. You’re all welcome. Don’t ever ask me for anything again. You can watch me get progressively more unhinged in real time. 

Now, just to preface this, I did not give this too much thought. Most of these are just my gut feelings. I went through every episode and just made some snap judgments based off the lasting impressions I’ve been left with. These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, tough. And also I don’t care. Go spend 4 hours making your own damn ranking. And shut the hell up. Anyway, this is probably the longest post I’ve ever made, so I’m gonna put it all under a read more. Click on it if you have an hour to read it. Okay, here we go!

1.     Origins II- Good starting point for our heroes. Good establishment of canon ships and character dynamics. Umbrella scene literally stole my wallet. Cannot emphasis enough that I am whipped for the umbrella scene. I wrote a whole ass AU just to say how whipped I am for the umbrella scene. In the Rain will play at my wedding. Jk. Weddings are for suckers. But dammit if I don’t want these kids to get married. 10/10

2.     Origins I- Good introduction to lore. Good introduction to characters. Good establishment of status quoyo. Just good. 10/10

3.     Simon Says- Listen, I am nothing if not a shipper at heart. This episode just sparks joy. And the whole series almost ended when Gabriel almost jumped off the roof. I was really rooting for this one. This was the episode where I saw Ladrien and went yes, ma’am, I’ll have one of those. 10/10

4.     Evillustrator- Are you all surprised? Cat, the MC-skeptic ranked the pivotal MC episode so highly? Well, let me tell you all a thing, I started this fandom out a MC shipper because of this episode. Their first interaction is gold. I don’t deny that. I enjoy it. This is the MC dynamic I fell in love with. Yall toxic shippers ruined MC for me when you opened your mouths and spat in the face of Ladrien and baselessly declared MC the sin-ship. We all know it’s Ladrien. Stop kidding yourselves. Boy in leather catsuit? Please. Basic ass vanilla bitches. I’m getting off-topic. Solid episode 10/10. We love to see it.

5.     Stormy Weather- Baby’s first Miraculous episode. It holds a special place in my heart. It’s a solid episode. Good establishment of what the show is. Fun villain. Good times. Fond memories. 10/10

6.     Riposte- Listen, I know I’m an Adrinette stan, but hear me out: Ladrien. It’s just so good. And Kagami was compelling in this episode. It was just really solid. It’s my favorite s2 episode. If you ask me if I want to rewatch Riposte, the answer is always yes. 10/10. We stan.

7.     Gorizilla- Okay, so this episode has some solid Adrinette in it, but the real reason it ranks so high is that fucking Ladrien trust fall. I stare at that scene for hours, you guys. HOURS. It is absolutely just *chefs kiss*. Sometimes when I need a pick-me-up, I just go watch gifs of that catch on loop. 10/10. Beautiful. Radiant. Carefree.

8.     Gang of Secrets- I have been keeping most of my opinions to myself about s4 (mostly because I’ve backed way the hell out of this fandom), but GoS was pretty solid. Gotta say, it’s the first episode in a long time with this show that made me actually excited to see what happens next. Most other episodes I was like, okay, that was cute. The show is still meh overall. But GoS really got me like oh shit, is ML good again? 10/10 for making me feel things again.

9.     Oblivio- Told you guys this one was probably rated higher than I thought. Oblivio is just really fun. There is good Adrinette. That “No wonder I fell in love with you” paired with the softest of Adrien smiles just sends me. And the kisses. The unquestionable trust. These two kids literally woke up together alone in an elevator with no memories and said welp, you’re my boyfriend/girlfriend obviously, I don’t make the rules. Honestly, how anyone could argue that these two dorks aren’t made for each other after that episode is beyond me. 9/10

10.  Backwarder- Okay, I know I am weird and alone for this one, but I really liked this episode. It got a lot of shit for the constipation capsule thing at the end, but like who cares? We finally got some more backstory on Fu. He got a love-interest who is dope as hell. This episode is my favorite lucky charm use ever. Like that queen DID that. I like Backwarder, guys! Fuck off. 9/10.

11.  Kwamibuster- We all know I am a Marinette-stan by this point, but our girl was SHINING this episode. This bitch said gimme all them and let me go whoop this bitch’s ass, and she DID. Hawkmoth could never. Multimouse is a gift, and Marinette is a boss ass queen.  9/10

12.  Chat Blanc- Listen, this episode was very good. I enjoy the idea of my children being happy in another timeline somewhere very much. We got all 4 sides of the square in an episode. It’s just really solid. I know this is the fandom’s favorite, and everyone is gonna shit their pants because it didn’t make my top 10, but this is my list. So, I put it at number 12. It’s good. I like it. It just didn’t steal my wallet like other episodes did. Put the pitchforks down. It’s gonna be okay, you can still love it more than me. 8/10

13.  New York Special- I know everyone felt some type of way about this special, but I wasn’t mad at it. My perception of it might be clouded because I watched it in Disney World where I was chilling and having a great time, but like this special really did somethings for me. The Adrinette was top tier. Tippy top tier. Even though they hurt us in the end, I am okay with it because it just means the children will grow and come out stronger. I don’t care if it’s not technically canon. Ask me if I give a fuck. I don’t. I had fun here. 8/10. Solid.

14.  The Collector- This one might shock a lot of you, but let me paint you a scene. It’s the first episode of s2. We have just come off a 2 year hiatus. The fandom is thriving. We’re hungry for canon content. We have hopes and dreams and expectations. Everyone is going wild with theories. This episode confirmed something that was long since obvious (in my opinion) and ended the stupid arguments people had been having. It made Gabriel actually seem semi-competent. We got our first taste of how Chat/Adrien will react to his dad being Hawkmoth. We got a peek at their life. Adrien’s isolation and sadness. They were so close to figuring it out. The battle was epic. Like Collector really had them on the ropes there for a second. It’s a solid episode, yall. I’m not wrong. Hate me all you want, but this episode brought it. 8/10

15.  Despair Bear- Is this episode up this high because of the Adrinette slow dance scene? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS. Okay, but fr though, shipping aside, this episode gave us hope that Chloe was actually gonna redeem herself. I mean, she didn’t but, we didn’t know that at the time. Seeing her run around trying to be nice was fun. And then she actually did something good, and we had a moment of okay, she’s capable. We’ll get there. We didn’t. But what a ride this episode was for making us think she would. 8/10

16.  Startrain- Cat, you’re just ranking all the Adrinette episodes highest. And? What of it? Are you surprised? You clicked a blog that has simping for Adrinette in the description, and you’re surprised all my favorite episodes have Adrinette? I’m not wrong, you’re just an idiot. The Adrinette nap cuddles aside though, this was a pretty good episode. If you don’t think too hard about the whole space thing, we got a look at Max’s life, his mom is a driven, smart lady doing her best. Adrien rebels against papa for once. Alya stops a Lila scheme. Chloe gets to play the hero. Alya and Nino actually investigate like the heroes they are. Gabriel gets to realize what a dumbass bitch he is. I mean. Guys. Startrain is solid. 7.5/10

17.  Sapotis- This one shot up in rank for me after GoS, but tbh it’s always been a solid episode. Alyanette sleepover? Check. Alya becoming a superhero? Check. It’s a fun episode. And looking back, it’s nicely called back to later in GoS. We love it. 7.5/10

18.  Sandboy- Idk why I enjoy this episode as much as I do, but I do. Sandboy is a cute bean. I love his aesthetic. We also get hilarious looks at everyone’s nightmares. “Plagg, who turned you into a sock?” cracks me up cause like Adrien, bby, no XD And Chat Noir’s nightmare. I think it would have been interesting though if since Sandboy dusted the Agreste mansion, if we got a peek at Hawkmoth’s nightmares. It would have been a nice hint of plot to go along with Master Fu’s nightmare. Also Plagg giving the akuma the slip like the clever boy we know he is deep down? 7.5/10

19.  Furious Fu- If you guys haven’t realized by now that I love Fu, idk what you’re doing. Pay attention. I know that some people don’t like him, but I’m just gonna say it, you’re wrong. Fu took care of the Miracle Box for over 100 years, and this episode kind of gives some insight to what the Order was like. Very strict. Lots of rules. And ya know what, Fu said fuck the police, I’m gonna befriend these little magical demigods, and fuck off! Like what an absolute legend. I was really happy to see him living his best life, and that he and Marianne got married because it’s what he deserves. We love to see it. 7.5/10

20.  Gamer- People like to shit on Marinette in this episode, but like honestly, if I were in her shoes, I’d have probably done the same thing if I had the skill. Ain’t nothing wrong with a girl trying to spend time with the boy she likes. And Tom and Sabine being absolute shipping trash. I love them. And the awkward Adrinette. The introduction of the lucky charm that Adrien STILL carries. Wholesome. This was a good episode for their friendship, and we love to see it. 7.5/10

21.  Christmaster- Okay, I know a lot of people hated this episode when it aired, but I thought it was really funny? Everyone skidding around in the ice rink was hilarious. If you don’t take this episode seriously, it’s really fun. Chris is pretty cute, and damn right Ladybug is the best kid in the world. Idk. This episode is fun. I’m not mad at it. Sue me. 7.5/10

22.  Weredad- What? Another MC-heavy episode in Cat’s top 30? Listen, I don’t hate canon MC. The fans just annoy me. This episode was funny. The secondhand embarrassment and cringe was real. Plagg taunting Adrien because he knows the secret was great. Marinette being a self-saving queen was great. It’s a good episode. I like MC, you guys. I do. I swear! 7.5/10

23.  Miraculer- This episode was interesting to me, and I think it’s still a good development episode. For one, Sabrina finally got her own akuma episode named after her. Secondly, because it’s a big step for Chloe, just not in the way we expected. It totally makes sense that Chloe can’t have her Miraculous back because literally everyone knows her identity. Can’t argue that logic. And she is the first person to ever refuse to become akumatized, so like mad respect. I know a lot of people had high hopes for redeemed Chloe (myself included), but I think watching a character fall from revering someone to hating them is also an interesting path. The friends to enemies arc as it were. Idk. I liked this episode. It was an opportunity for Chloe to grow, even if she didn’t in the end, but we’ll talk about that later. 7.5/10

24.  Lady Wifi- I like Alya. I feel like I don’t say that much, and people make some assumptions because of MDCSP, but MDCSP is just a concept I wanted to explore. It doesn’t really reflect how I feel about any one character. Except maybe Lila. And Gabe. But every other spite fic I’ve written branching from Chameleon, the class has been fine. Alya has been fine. So, let it be known that I like Alya. Lady Wifi was a fun episode. Putting aside the fact that she thought Chloe was Ladybug for no reason, I like her akuma. I like the interactions we get with LadyNoir in this episode. After GoS, this episode gets a bit funnier. It’s solid. 7/10

25.  Dark Cupid- I don’t have much to say about this one. LadyNoir. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Send it. 7/10

26.  Volpina- So many things about this episode. It introduced a new antagonist who we didn’t exactly 100% know was going to be an antagonist at the time. This episode sparked a lot of fun fan theories for a while. Who was Lila? How was she going to shake things up? Not to mention this episode gave us a taste of plot and lore, and set up Marinette meeting Master Fu officially. Lots of intrigue sparked from this episode. And that LadyNoir door scene? OOOOOO 7/10

27.  Hearthunter- One word: Adrigaminette. This episode was so cute for them! I loved seeing them all goofing and running around together. Adrien and Kagami being absolutely in love with Marinette when her hair is down. They both love her, I don’t make the rules. Not to mention, Marinette takes a big step by letting her friends be happy without her. Kagami not wanting to hurt Marinette. The drama!! Gabriel being a messy ass bitch to his friends. It loses points for the abomination of an akuma, but overall, I wasn’t too mad at it. Yet. 7/10

28.  Glaciator- More MC in Cat’s top 30? It’s more likely than you think. Listen. Listen… Listen. MC is fine. This episode was the closest thing to fanfiction that we got. The balcony scene was really sweet. I was drinking the irony. We got introduced to Andre the icecream fraud. Andre the please just give me the flavor I asked for man. I could have done without Chat pouting, but the LadyNoir in the end was pretty good. I wish they’d done more with Ladybug’s feelings for Chat. Had her question herself a bit more after this one, but overall, it’s cute. 7/10

29.  Zombizou- A lot of people started hating Mlle. Bustier after this episode, and like I can kind of see it, if I squint, but I did not draw that same conclusion from this episode. Mlle. Bustier just wants good things for all of her students. They’re 14 ffs, she just wants to be a good influence on all of her students and wants them all to be successful. But go off, I guess? Plus, this episode was basically just a spoof on zombie apocalypse movies. We got so many things. Julerose, Myvan, DJWifi. Chloe actually showing some depth and emotion. LadyNoir. We won this episode, babes. Sorry you didn’t get the memo. 7/10

30.  Timetagger- Okay. This is the last episode in the ones that I’d venture to call “good.” Number 30. I enjoyed Timetagger. I know people have feelings about timey-wimey bullshit, and like I’m not gonna lie and say I’m thrilled with it either (I mean, I changed the rabbit’s power in MDCSP) but that being said, Timetagger was so sassy. Bunnix was cool as hell. We get to see that LB and CN are still doing the thing in the future. So many questions sparked from this episode. It was fun. Idk. I liked it. That’s all I got. 7/10

31.  Malediktator- Okay, from this point on, less comments because this is the section that are more or less just meh to me. Like they’re fine. This episode was fine. Chloe was fine. Chat playing with the laser was cute. 6.5/10

32.  Mayura- Adrien’s speech at the end. Nuff said 6.5/10

33.  Ikari Gozen- Ryuko/Ryuuko. Gals being pals. 6.5/10

34.  Reflekdoll- I talked about this earlier, but I don’t hate this episode. It’s not as bad as people make it out to be. Sue me. 6.5/10

35.  Anansi- Nino is the goodest boy. Also I need more of the gang taking Adrien on adventures via Facetime. Stat. 6.5/10

36.  Shanghai- This one is new, and tbh I still haven’t watched it with subs, but I had a good time. Fei was cute. The boy squad was cute. Adrien bonding with Great Uncle Cheng was cute. Hawkmoth getting literally dunked on was *chefs kiss* 6.5/10

37.  Gigantitan- I love overly supportive, ride-or-die girl squad. 6.5/10

38.  Party Crasher- Idk why this episode was funny to me. Kim is the purest bean. We don’t deserve him. 6.5/10

39.  Desperada- This episode was an emotional roller coaster, and even though we all collectively hate Aspik’s stupid egghead, we love the Ladrien this episode provided us. 6/10

40.  Oni-chan- Listen, I loved seeing Lila get a tiny bit of karma even if she made it up in the end. I loved Chat going off on her. I loved seeing her get outsmarted in the end. 6/10

41.  Frightningale- My good lesbian Clara Nightingale. We stan. 6/10

42.  Style Queen- I like Audrey in a “she’s the worst person I’ve ever met, I want to travel the world with her” kind of way. She’s funny to me. Idk. I love her firing everyone. She’s the one I love to hate. She’s the worst, but we love her for it. Plus this episode gave us Plagg’s adorable little Cataclysm that destroyed half the city. 6/10

43.  Gamer 2.0- Chat confidently strutting in heels made this episode worth it. And we get to see the beginning of Marinette being overwhelmed. Plus it was the return of gamer!nette. 6/10

44.  Troublemaker- I don’t hate this episode as much as the next person either. It was fine. Jagged is a manchild, but we love him for it. He’s a Marinette stan which like mood. The Adrinette at the end was cute. I wasn’t mad at it. Idk. It’s fine. 6/10

45.  Reflekta- Where are all my Juleka stans at? I loved the LadyNoir banter in this ep. V. cute. 6/10

46.  Dark Owl- This episode was fun. And it really shows their level of trust. Plus Plagg and Tikki interacted. 6/10

47.  Timebreaker- Have I ever mentioned that I like Alix? I like Alix. 6/10

48.  Silencer- I don’t hate this episode as much as you’d expect me to, and that is 100% because of the LadyNoir. 5.5/10

49.  Prime Queen- Chat purrs. 5.5/10

50.  Syren- I think the fish power-up is adorable. Ondine is a gem. Kim is a pure bean, but we been knew. 5.5/10

51.  Befana- I like Gina, but this episode fell flat for me. Almost as flat as the animation. 5.5/10

52.  Reverser- Another episode that everyone hates that I am actually fine with. This episode made me like Nathaniel more. Probably because I was previously indifferent toward him. Marc is cute too. 5.5/10

53.  Mr. Pigeon- Marinette is one clever girl. And the Adrinette hand-touch. 5.5/10

54.  Felix- Felix is a gremlin of chaos. A true chaotic neutral. He gives his uncle the finger, and I think that’s beautiful. 5.5/10

55.  Truth- Bet you expected this episode to be higher. While I did enjoy watching toxic people’s world crumble, this episode still gets a meh from me dog. 5/10

56.  Lies- The Adrigami was cute, and I respect Kagami as a character. The akuma could have been better tho. 5/10

57.  Princess Fragrance- Not much to say here. 5/10

58.  Copycat- 5/10

59.  Bubbler- 5/10

60.  Mime- 5/10

61.  Animan- 5/10

62.  Robostus- 5/10

63.  Ladybug- This episode ranks this low purely because I don’t care about GabeNath, and I hate that Lila won something in the end. But Adrien saying I won’t hesitate, bitch! At the end was nice to see. 5/10

64.  Catalyst- I know I ranked Mayura way higher, but Catalyst fell flat for me. Like it was fine. Wasn’t as into it though. 4.5/10

65.  Puppeteer- One of my favorite lucky charm uses. 4.5/10

66.  Pixelator- My favorite Cataclysm. 4.5/10

67.  Horrificator- That almost-Adrinette kiss tho 4.5/10

68.  Pharaoh- 4.5/10

69.  Kung Food- 4.5/10

70.  Rogercop- 4/10

71.  Guitar Villain- 4/10

72.  Dark Blade- 4/10

73.  Bakerix- 4/10

74.  Antibug- And now onto the bottom 10. To start us off, I will just say: UGH, this episode annoyed me. First of all, Sabrina didn’t even get her own episode. Chloe was a piece of shit. Idk why they made Ladybug the one in the wrong when Chloe was being obnoxious. Ugh. 3/10

75.  Captain Hardrock- I’m gonna be honest. My apathy for this episode has grown into loathing. Toxic stans are 100% to blame. Birthday ruining, bitches. This is the reason I threw a breakup bash after Truth. Yall deserved it. 3/10

76.  Christmas Special- I didn’t hate this episode as much as everyone, but it still wasn’t great. 2.5/10

77.  Stormy Weather 2.0- This episode was really dumb. It didn’t need to exist. 2.0/10

78.  Queen Wasp- Why did we give Chloe a Miraculous after this episode? 2/10

79.  Animaestro- Did we really need a self-insert? Did we really? 2/10

80.  Puppeteer 2.0- Listen, this episode would have made more sense in s1 or at the very latest early s2. Adrien gave a whole ass speech on how great Marinette is, then he turns around and is like idk if she likes me… Clean it up. 2/10

81.  Miracle Queen- I could talk at length about how much I hate the ending of this episode and what they did with Chloe and Master Fu, but we’re just going to remain calm and give it a solid 1.5/10

82.  Frozer- This episode made no goddamn sense. I call bullshit on so many things. Just ugh. 1/10

83.  Chameleon- Surprisingly, even though this episode sparked many, many spite fics out of me, it’s not my least favorite because at least Ladybug semi-redeemed this episode. Still really dumb and ooc tho. 1/10

84.  Feast- Okay, okay, okay, here we are. Bottom of the barrel. Cat’s most hated episode, and you wanna know why? You want to know why this episode fills me with the rage? Because we spent two fucking seasons building up all this mystery and lore and intrigue surrounding Fu’s big mistake, and they dropped the fucking ball! They did my mans so dirty! They could have really deepened his character, deepened the Order, deepened anything other than whatever fucking affair Gabriel and Nathalie have going on, but NO. They made it some stupid, bland-ass thing that got resolved magically in the end, then just ignored it for the rest of the season. I will never not be salty about how they did my boy Fu in this show. I’m happy he found his peace, but fuck if I’m not livid about how they did it. Whatever. Chat being done with Ladybug’s shit when they’re about to get eaten was funny I guess. .5/10

[peppersonironi]

Duke Thomas/The Signal Fic Recs

This is for @capttain-emo who saw me reblog this wonderful rec list by @stories-from-the-batcave , and asked if I knew any more. (I highly recommend those, btw, I love all the fics on that list! Yes, that includes the one I wrote in there) Duke Thomas is my favorite Batfam member, so I have a bunch! Unfortunately, there isn’t as much Duke content out there as I’d hope - people just don’t seem to like him as much for some reason? It’s sad. So, there are gonna be a couple here written by me. Rest assured, I have way more Duke content on the way - including a WIP coming out this week! (Ao3 linked out at the top of my blog)

I love recommending Fics, so hit me up in my inbox if there’s a trope or character or relationship (platonic or not) that you’d really love to read! I also write fan fiction, and my requests are always open!

1. Siblings: The Truth of the Matter by Me!

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & his siblings

Duke had a strange family. Two of his siblings had been raised from birth to be assassins. One was born in a circus. One had been a crime lord for a time. Yet another was the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company by the age of seventeen. All of them dressed up in spandex every night to punch bad guys.

So when he was woken up by icy water being splashed in his face, tied to a chair in nothing but his boxers, he wasn't surprised. Now, that's not to say he wasn't worried. Duke was definitely worried. Especially since it was these two.

AKA Duke gets tied up and questioned by his siblings, all while drugged with Truth Serum!

2. Bliss by Me!

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian

Duke walks in on a sleeping assassin child in need of comfort, and takes a chance. Brotherly bonding ensues!

3. An ever growing family of birds and bats by alicecrow6

Rating: General Audiences/Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian

a series of Batkids Age Reversal fics where Damian comes first, then Harper, then Duke and so on.

4. look at me, all the things I can do by Aelig  

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Cass, Duke & Bruce

"Duke took a bite of his toast, gaze still on Bruce. His foster father was sipping at his coffee, eyebrows frowning. To an outsider, you would think he was reading the morning news on his tablet, like always; Duke knew better. Bruce's look was a little away from the screen, his lips downward.

It was almost funny, to watch Bruce internally panic."

OR: It's the morning, and Duke is going back to school for the first time since his injury.

5. The Batchair(s) Issue by NightFlier

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen w/ background ships Relationships: Duke & Cass, Duke & Steph, Steph/Cass Trio & Batfam

Duke Thomas feels like an outsider, and not just because he's part of the new Outsiders team roster. He's the newest member of the legendary Batclan and hasn't yet formed the close bonds that the others share. Not to mention, he's the only active Meta on the team. As if it wasn't hard enough to relate with people with such colorful, unique backgrounds.

But it's okay! Duke has a plan and it'll probably work for a while before crashing & burning. BatShenanigans ahead.

6. All That Glitters is Gold (Unfortunately) by IndefiniteIceCube

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Tim, Duke & Steph

The world is gold and Duke can't breathe.

He can't breathe.

He was sitting in AP World History just a minute ago.

Was it a minute ago? It seemed like a minute ago but it could have been hours because all he can focus on is that he can’t breathe. His lungs won’t fill and- and he’s trying he swears but he just. can’t. breathe.

And the gold—

-----

Duke's powers emerge.

It doesn't go well.

7. Be the Light that Helps Others See by Ace_Corvid @ace-corvid

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

Duke didn't really know what to expect from movie nights with the Bats.

He could only assume they approached this with the same determined intensity as they approached everything else. They were all so extra it was like their gauge for normal was completely broke. He wasn't really prepared for this.

And yet here he was. Surrounded.

(Alternatively; Batkid's have a movie night.)

8. I've Made a Million Mistakes by Sohotthateveryonedied

“Y’all need Jethuth.”

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

“Don’t worry,” Dick says, throwing his arm around Duke’s shoulders. “Everyone in this room has had their teeth knocked out at one point or another. It’s a rite of passage around here.”

“I don’t know how to tell you thith, but that doethn’t happen to normal people. We acthually prefer to keep our teeth, believe it or not.”

“Wait until you get your first major battle scar. Trust me, they’re cool.”

“Y’all need Jethuth.”

9. Children (All of Them) by TheFalconWarrior

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

In which Tim is not stupid but Jason might just be, Damian is furious, Dick kind of feels like he should be doing…something, Steph is ecstatic, and Duke wonders how long he can survive.

10. In the Dark of the Night by Aelig

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Jason, Batfam

"Duke was woken up by someone sliding into his bed. Someone big judging by how the mattress shifted.

Because Duke was a well-trained vigilante, his first reflex was obviously to kick whoever was being creepy right now and push them out of his bed.

It was only when the someone landed on the floor with a yelp that Duke realized that he was at Wayne Manor, which was incredibly secure – normally. He could recognize the voice, too."

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: none

OR: The Batfam and their way to deal with nightmares.

11. Welcome to the Family by angstyelephant

In which Duke Thomas goes back to the beginning.

12. Family-- by incorrectbatfam

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & batfam

“Your assignment over the weekend is to write a poem about your family.”

13. I'm Still Climbing(Even When the Rest Have Fallen) by anidear

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Dick, Duke & Damian

After his first exposure to the Fear Toxin, Dick checks in on Duke.

14. The cat and the newcomer by Fleur_de_Violette

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Alfred the Cat

Duke always found people talking to their pets about their problems silly. And yet here he was.

15. Duke-napped by NightOwl1600

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & batfam

The others don’t really bother Duke with his business. They all care about him, he knows, but outside of the vigilante business, they don’t really care to ask aside from the typical “How was school?” or “Can you buy me some chilidogs after you’re done with whatever you’re doing?” So he’s a bit concerned if they’ll even notice when he’s been kidnapped as Duke Thomas, Bruce Wayne’s newest ward. But he’s not about to panic; as the others seem to be so determined that traumatizing new experiences are part of Bat-initiation.

Meanwhile, the rest of the family freaks out because “Did anyone go over the do’s and don’ts of getting kidnapped with Duke?!”

16. Nightmare/Hallucination by FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Jason

Duke found himself staring at the ceiling again. His heart was no longer racing, but he wouldn’t exactly say that he was calm either. This is the moment after the end of a race you lost, when all of the adrenaline is starting to wear off and the hopelessness sets in. That’s it. You’re out of the competition, buddy.

Except that this isn’t a race, and Duke hasn’t just lost his spot for the finals. He had simply lost sleep.

17. Jason Todd, Big Brother Part 8792 by Gemini_00

Rating: General Audiences Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Jason, Duke & Damian

Robin and the Signal sneak along the Outlaws mission in order to steal a bazooka and hang out with Kori. Jason has to deal with two little brothers and feeding a team of outlaws. He's putting this on Bruce's credit

18. "What's wrong? What's happening?" By FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: General Audiences Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Tim

Duke runs into trouble during his daytime patrol, and ends up needing some back up. The resident over-productive insomniac bat picks up the call.

(A little bit of and Duke interaction for a nice tumblr Anon :) I hope you like it!)

19. Nightmares by FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: Teen Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Dick

Filling the nightmare square on my bingo card with the help of an anon on tumblr who asked for a fic where Duke has a nightmare and asks for the help of one of the older batboys!

"Duke checked the time again. Two minutes had passed.

Time was ticking too slowly. He was tired, but sitting alone in the dark was definitely not a good idea right now.

He’d have to ask for help."

20. Brothers in Arms by TheFalconWarrior

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

...possibly against each other. Batkid prank wars are the worst.

Duke is learning. Tim is evil. So is Damian. Dick is embarrassing. Jason is dramatic. Steph is brave. Babs is all-knowing. Cass wants in. Alfred is a little amused, and Bruce is so. Tired.

21. First rule of Robin, right? By ALzzza

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian,Duke & Dick

"Nothing’s going to hurt you—you got that, nothing.”

Duke doesn’t have anything better to do but it’s not like that matters. Hell, he’d drop everything and run—always in time to catch this little bird.

Or, Damian’s Been Having Nightmares, Duke To The Rescue—Dick Always With The Reassurance

22. Duke's Diary by fiery_day

 Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam,Duke & Dick

This is a couple of journal entries by Duke as he learns to become Signal. He relates his thoughts on the batfamily and aspects of the vigilante life he now leads.

23. Significance of a Gala by nxttime

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam,Duke & Jason, Duke & Tim

This year’s Wayne Gala would be Duke’s first, and he had no clue how to feel about it.

 25. The cloud that looks after each other by Batmango

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Goliath

Duke wakes up the Bat cave after a fight with the Joker.

For MashpotatoeQueen5 as a thanks for using so many of my prompt in the excellent January Jot-Downs.

Prompt: a hurt comfort after an injury/illness? Or just cuddles. I love me some cuddles.

26. The One You’ll Know By by Redrikki

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Bruce & Alfred

After losing his memory, Bruce asked Alfred not to tell him about his vigilante life, but he's beginning to think his butler left a few other things out. Like, say, his kids.

27. Duke Thomas Hates Bullies by Gemini_00

Rating: Unrated Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Steph, Duke & Tim, Duke & Bruce, Duke & Damian

Everyone loves that Duke Thomas isn't like all those other crazy Waynes. Everyone loves that the Signal isn't trying to get himself killed. Duke may not see Bruce as his dad, but he is definitely part of the bat family. and nobody is going to bully his family. Or, Duke Thomas Kicks Ass.

28. batman is dancing to fortnight and this might as well happen because vigilante life is already so *Goddamn* weird (Duke Thomas: A Memoir) by MashpotatoeQueen5

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Batfam

You may not have time to unpack all that, but Duke Thomas does.

(He doesn't get it either.)

(He loves his new crazy family nonetheless.)

29. In a World Where You Can Be Anything, Be Kind by RedHoodie1723

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Batfam

Day Six of Batfam Week 2020: Take Your Child To Work Day

It was Duke's first time visiting Wayne Enterprises, and he couldn't help but be intrigued by the Martha Wayne Foundation.

30. You’re My Brother by blackpercy

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Dick

Duke's missing his parents a lot and Dick comes in to help his little brother.

And that’s it for the list! I hope you enjoy these thirty works! Once again, send me an ask if you have requests for fics, recs, or if you have general questions!

[myblueeyedbuggers]

My Boys

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10  Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13  Chapter 14

Pairings: Reader x Steve Rogers (best friend) Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count:1563

Warnings: Slow Start, Language.

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change.

Side Note: Црни лабуд, according to google translate, means Black Lotus in Serbian.

So erm. Hi guys, first time sharing something on Tumblr, normally I’m the one reading all the fanfics but after reading so many talented people’s work I thought I’d try my hand at it :) hopefully it doesn’t completely suck, any writing tips and feedback is welcome and feel free to give some constructive criticism. I’m rambling, aren’t I? Okay I’ll shut up, Enjoy :)  

It’s the same routine day after day, wake up, shower, get dressed and go out to recruit for Damien. The streets of Brooklyn aren’t exactly safe for a girl of 13, but hey this is what happens when a pair of inconsiderate asses sell their only child to one of the most infamous and dangerous gang of criminals for the cheap thrill of getting high. One way or another a girls gotta make a living and the way I do it could land me in jail for the rest of my life, I mean I didn’t exactly picture myself blackmailing and manipulating the poor souls targeted by Црни лабуд, but that’s the shit that happens when you find yourself being shunned by the society that’s supposed to help the weak.

Anyways I was getting close to my target, just two more blocks, through the back alley and up the stairs to the apartment owned by Greg Sampson. That clever son of a gun managed to bypass the security systems of the cities bank and make off with $5,000 and get away with it, and as expected the Црни лабуд want him to be our new “financial adviser” considering our last one double crossed the boss and died cause if it. Turning to corner to enter the alley was a moment, as cheesy as it sounds, I won’t ever forget, a big group of boys were surrounding a lanky and frail lad who by the looks of it had seen better days. His blonde hair was all over the shop and his face looked like it had been ploughed into the front of a bus, blood was coming out his nose and both his top and bottom lip were split open but despite all of that he was laughing and taunting the group. 

“What’s the matter guys? Upset that you can’t keep me down?”, okay it’s official this kid has a death wish and I’m pretty sure that if I don’t do something I’m gonna be a witness to a murder, so of course my dumbass walks right into the middle of this “fight”. “So, what the hell is going off here? You boys decided to compensate for your small penises by acting like giant dicks or something?”, I could hear the lad behind me let out a laugh and a small smirk spread across my face as I looked at who I was up against, all the lads were red in the face and looked ready to put me into an early grave but I’d of liked to see them try.

 Thanks to the boss I knew basic self-defence and apparently could pack one “hell of a punch” when pissed off, the tallest of the bunch stepped towards me and picked me up by my collar at an attempt to scare me “Who the hell do ya think ya are little girl?! Don’t ya know when to stay outta other people business? Now I gotta mess up that pretty lil face of yours”. It was safe to say whatever he said and did was about as intimidating as a wet kitten and honestly quite funny, hence why I laughed before I punched the prick in his face, not my smartest move cause then I was dropped straight on to my ass. One of the tall pricks mates decided to take advantage of my situation, yelling and cursing at me as he prepared to kick me right in the face ,which wouldn’t of been too pleasant let’s be honest, but right when his foot was about to make contact the blonde lad behind me pulled himself in front of me and took the blow for me, he went flying across the floor and hit the back wall.  

Now I was pissed. As the group started to walk past me and advance on the blonde boy, I grabbed the ankle of the closest guy and pulled him down, climbing on top of him and really going in on his stupid face to try and get their attention back on me and off the guy struggling to stand.  It’s safe to say it worked, a sudden force to my ribs knocked me off the boy and back onto the floor, and then the fun began…for them at least I wasn’t having as much fun as the collection of shitheads, pain erupted from all over body, one jackass was constant kicking me in the head as the others hit whatever part of me they could reach. It felt like it went on for forever, but, in reality it was only for 30 seconds, before the boys stopped, I could hear the sounds of punches and the whimpers of pain as multiple sets of steps started to run away from me.

 I tried to sit up, but those bastards really did a number on my ribs and midsection, the pain making me cry out before crumpling to the floor, faint mummers and a moan of pain could be heard but I didn’t really care about that. Summoning my last bit of strength I pulled myself up, ignoring my bodies screams of protest, the wall becoming my new best friend as I started to limp towards my objective, I managed to get about 10 centimetres away from the alley before a arm wrapped around my waist and held me up.

“Just so you know that was fucking stupid move on your part, next time let me save the punk” ,okay hold the frigging phone who the hell is this and why haven’t I pushed his stupid ass to the floor? quickly I shoved him and “walked” away from him, royally pissed off.  “By the time you’d of got here to save him he’d of been 6 feet under by now, so go screw yourself” Perhaps I could have been nicer, but he did start it.

Miraculously I made it to the stairs and began to make my way up them, when once again a hand stopped me and I gotta be honest it’s really starting to piss me off, turning around to give this little bugger a piece of my mind, the words died in my throat as I came face to face with the blonde boy. Bruises littered his face and somehow his face was even bloodier then before, the mark from the kick was printed on his face and guilt immediately flooded my veins, “Ignore my friend, he doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut sometimes, anyway I wanted to thank you for stepping in there not a lotta people would be so quick to rush in and have my back. My names Steve, Steve Rodgers and the grumpy old man over there is James Barnes” Steve stuck his hand out as a greeting and offered me what I can assume he meant as a friendly smile, though the split lips did ruin the image. Slowly a smile spread across my face and I shook his hand in greeting, “It was no problem, honestly, besides you had em on the ropes, my names y/n and it’s nice to meet you, though I can’t say the same about your friend over there.”. The boy behind Steve or Bucky scoffed at me and walked off in a huff, not that I cared, simply raising my eyebrows at Steve, mocking his friends attitude he let out a sigh and gave me an apologetic smile in response, “Well I better go after him or he’ll kick up a storm, I’ll see ya around y/n” and with that he smiled a final time and ran off after his friend. 

Returning to the task at hand, I let out a small smile at the thought of Steve before frowning, he was a good kid and didn’t need the trouble I brought, it’ll be best if I never see him again. I sighed before climbing up the rest of the stairs and prepared for the next few hours of hell I have to bring to this man, with those final thoughts I brought out my “tools” and got to work.

Okay honestly, I didn’t mean to make the first chapter so long, I wanted to provide the best in sight as to how this series will go, also the character development will be miles better in up-coming chapters. Thanks for reading :)

Rose xx