#and not being able to make any promises

[icanbeyourgenie]

“ Oh, I'm just... I'm just used to it... I wasn't allow to eat with my siblings, always with my father and his council, so I suppose it became an habit... plus I doubt Nate and Cally would want me to eat with them anyway. ” – Malachai to Yasmeen after she asked why he was eating alone when Nathaniel and Calypso were eating together

Yasmeen had been surprised when she walked into the church to see Malachai there. Not because he didn't belong there - she spent more time in that place with him than alone, lately - but because, when he left after their training session, she assumed it was to go eat with his siblings. So it was even more surprising to see a bit of food packed in the bench next to him. When she asked him why he wasn't eating with the others, she didn't except this answer. She thought this through for a moment, and then decided to sit down.

❝Why wouldn't they want you to eat with them? They practically worship you.❞

❝I can be too serious for them, sometimes. A bit of a mood breaker.❞

Yasmeen didn't think he was a mood breaker. She actually always felt better when she was with him. But she understood what he meant. Calypso and Nathaniel had a very care-free nature. They liked to laugh and make jokes and talk a lot. Malachai wasn't like that. Still, Yasmeen didn't think the two youngest would mind Malachai's presence. But she kept it to herself, judging it wasn't her place to talk for them.

❝Why weren't you allowed to eat with them?❞

He looked away and stayed silent. She didn't push. Privacy was important to her. If he wanted to keep that part for himself, she would accept that.

Instead, he unpacked his food and gave her a fork. She did pause on the fact that he had two forks ready, but blamed it on royal customs and their habit to use way more cutlery than necessary (a side effect of not doing the dishes, she supposed).

She shook her head. ❝Thank you, but I can't eat with you. I can only eat the food from the changeling quarters.❞

❝Why? Because you shouldn't eat luxurious food? It's stupid.❞

❝No, because this food isn't made for humans.❞

He paused a second. ❝Is it true what they say then? That it binds you to the land?❞

❝Not exactly. But it can drive you mad. Making you see whatever they want you to see, and trap you forever. It's different for everyone.❞

❝Better not try your luck then.❞

❝I did.❞

She realized, when she said this, that she had been unfair with Malachai. He had confied in her many times before, but she didn't. Not truly. She was overly cautious and wary, and even when she started warming up to him, she tried not to say too much about her past. He had asked, but she always diverted the questions, so he stopped asking. She loved that clear respect of her privacy. But he was still curious, she could see it in his eyes right now. And somehow, she felt like giving him a part of herself.

❝I was young. Well, kind of. I tried to join the human world, but I was stuck in the enchanted forest and it was a true disorienting maze. I was starving, and I ate a few berries. Worst mistake of my life. My mind wasn't my own anymore. I almost died.❞

❝And what happened.❞

❝I got help.❞ It was the most she could say. Thinking about Viserys and the asylum still hurt.

❝And yet you're still here?❞ And it was probably the part that hurt the most. Nothing mattered in the end. She didn't escape that place.

❝You could come with me.❞ He had a bit of hope in his eyes but his words were unsure. ❝I could claim you, ask for you to be given to me as a gift. You'd come with me under the sea. For a time, just enough so it can be believable. Then I'll set you free.❞

Those words hurt more than she could imagine. This time, she looked away. ❝Don't be ridiculous. Who would look after Calypso?❞ She tried for light-hearted, but she did sound gloomy.

He took her hand. ❝Yasmeen I'm serious. Let me help. I could get you out of here.❞

❝You can't...❞ She squeezed his hand and looked at him. ❝Morgana would never allow you to take me away from her.❞

❝Why?❞ He still looked so hopeful, and it broke her heart. ❝You're a changeling. I mean - I - I mean that... to her... it's just what you are, but-❞

❝Because it'd be too dangerous for her.❞ She cut. She knew what he meant. But it wasn't the problem. She took a breath, readying herself for what she was about to say. ❝Because I'm a valuable asset to her. And because I know too much of her secrets.❞

Malachai stayed still as he processed her words, then his expression changed from hopeful to impassible. She couldn't read him as he withdrawed his hand and sat up straighter. He looked away and she wanted to scream. At the world, at herself for allowing someone to get close to her. For saying those words. But she stayed silent, watching him connect the dots. He was the one who understood, from their very first meeting, that she was a warrior, that she had too much knives hidden on her and that it made sense that she was sent as a guard, as well as a maid. But now, she was basically admitting to be a spy for Morgana.

It looked like an eternity passed when he spoke again, with a placid but distant voice. ❝Yasmeen, are we enemies?❞

She assumed it was his princely voice. The one he used to talk to his generals. He had never use it with here. She took another deep breath. ❝I hope not.❞

❝But she asks you about me. About my family.❞

It wasn't a question, but she still answered: ❝Yes.❞

❝And I should trust you?❞

❝I can't answer that. Trust isn't something that can't be asked for. It has to be given freely.❞

❝...Yasmeen my entire country relies on me.❞

❝I know what's at stake for you.❞

He stayed silent again, watching in the distance while she was watching him. She wanted to stop trying to analyze his very unexpressive face, but she couldn't. She was stuck.

❝You kissed me. Does she know about that?❞

❝No. She thinks we had sex, though. Many times.❞

❝Mh. And that kiss, was it all part of a game?❞

❝Well, first of all, you asked for that kiss.❞ Yasmeen were almost offended, but his question was legitimate. ❝Also, no it wasn't. It was...❞ She was almost embarassed, but she owed him the truth. ❝It was my first kiss. Well, not truly. But the first I wanted too, so I think of it this way. I wouldn't have shared this with her.❞

She tought he blushed for a second, but she couldn't be sure. He still looked so stoic. ❝How can I be sure you're telling the truth?❞

❝You can't.❞

She truly wished she could say something different, but she couldn't. He stayed silent and she did too. The silence stretched for at least a dozen minutes. Not a single sound in the church outside of their quiet breathes. Yasmeen turned away at some point, looking at the status of Farore. Even the goddess couldn't appease her right now. The girl thought about leaving, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

It was almost twenty minutes later that Malachai spoke again. ❝My father and my mother made a pact when I was very young. I had a twin sister, but she was rumored to be a bastard. My father wanted to get rid of her. My mother protested. In return for keeping her, she had to allow my father to raise me as he saw fit. She couldn't intervene too much. And his idea of raising his first born was to make me actively participate in councils and meals with his general from a very early age. That's why I wasn't allowed to eat with my siblings.❞

Yasmeen tried not to show how deeply this admission touched her. In simply opening up again and answering her previous question, he stated without saying it that he chose to trust her, nonetheless. And, like always, she kept this information like a treasure. ❝That's... Well, that must have been very lonely.❞

❝What?❞

❝It was. And in the end, it didn't even matter. My sister was exiled anyway.❞ She could understand the feeling. They stayed silent, until he surprised her with his next words. ❝It was a peck.❞

❝That kiss. You said it was like your first kiss, but it was just a peck.❞ Yasmeen raised an eyebrow, a bit offended, and Malachai realized what he just said. ❝I mean- I, not that it wasn't, you know - good or anything. Just that - that - that if it was your first kiss, maybe it should've been better, and - and.❞

She smiled then, amused by the way he changed the subject, intrigued to know that this was in his mind somehow. He didn't only think about how she was a potential traitor, but also how her first kiss should've been better.

For once, she allowed herself to not think when she grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards her, until their lips almost touched. She stopped just a second, just to make sure he agreed to it. So when he nodded, she closed the gap between them and kissed him.

It wasn't a light kiss, not at all. It started this way, but she deepened it as much as she could, and he eagerly followed her. They both smiled into the kiss, and she wondered if she ever knew a better feeling. They only stopped kissing when they were both out of breath, but they didn't break apart. He put his forehead on hers, and she didn't move.

❝Is this kiss up to his Higness expectations?❞ she teased.

He laughed. ❝Yes it is. Although some might argue that kissing in a church is a sin.❞

❝Well then. Maybe we should spend more time in here to repent, don't you think?❞ She was flirty. She had never been flirty in her entire life.

❝I think we have no other choice, sadly.❞

They were still smiling as they broke apart, the food completely forgotten. But Malachai looked serious again when he asked: ❝Am I a fool to trust you?❞

❝I don't know.❞ She didn't want to lie to him. ❝But I truly hope not.❞

[puppppppppy]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

[sysig]

Promises promises (Patreon)

[byanyan]

finally going through my likes to collect all the asks i've wanted to reply to since fucking april to add them into my drafts

i'm. i'm trying to at least start getting my shit together here. i've felt the strong urge to give writing a shot since yesterday, so. i'm gonna see about potentially doing some tonight? maybe?? still teetering on the edge of falling into Bad Thoughts when i let my mind wander too far, so idk how long the attempt will last or if it'll be successful, but.

[strohller27]

.

[livegastrodonreaction]

haruka.......

[warriors-rewritten-chaos]

Post Arc 1 Interlude: Graystripe's Heartbreak

An original segment following Graystripe's thoughts and adventures after the fight against Scourge and The Coven of Blood. The battle's won, nothing can go wrong now! Right?

Graystripe couldn't believe it. They had done it. The Coven of Blood had been driven from the forest after Firestar had killed Scourge, TigerClan was no more, and peace would return to the forest. He walked with Firestar and Sandstorm the whole way back to ThunderClan, his tail entwined with theirs, feeling happier than he had in moons.

When they reached camp and told those who hadn't gone the news of what had happened, there were cries of celebration and joy and the air filled with excited chatter. Firestar leapt onto the Highrock and his voice cut like a claw through all the noise, giving way to quiet as the Leader spoke. Graystripe felt a sense of pride and joy seeing the tom he loved (loved! the thought still made him giddy) so confident and bright.

"Cats of ThunderClan! And, uh, RiverClan as well!" Mistyfoot gave the young Leader a small nod of gratitude for the inclusion of their small group. "I trust that you all know of our victory against TigerClan and over The Coven of Blood." Firestar continued on, interrupted by raucous cheers that he patiently waited to die down before continuing his address.

"However, as with all battles, there are casualties. And one of the casualties today... was our Deputy, Whitestorm. Whitestorm was many things to many cats. He was a trusted clanmate, an incredible Warrior, a wise mentor, a loving mate and father, and a faithful friend. I believe it isn't an exaggeration to say that he will be deeply mourned by everyone in attendance today. Now, though, it is my duty as your Leader to choose a cat who will take up his mantle as Deputy. Not to replace him, but to continue his hard work for the sake of ThunderClan's continued prosperity."

"And with that, I would like to introduce the cat who I believe is the most qualified to accomplish this feat. I present ThunderClan's new Deputy, Frostfur." The Senior Warrior's temporary absence from the crowd had gone unnoticed until she reappeared at that moment, stepping up beside Firestar and dipping her head to the assembly. The camp erupted into near-deafening cheers of her name, the loudest voices unsurprisingly being those of her daughters. Cinderspark was literally jumping up and down with joy, while Brightheart shed a few tears of pride for her mother's accomplishment.

"I am deeply honored to have received this role, and will do my best in service of my Clan to honor Whitestorm's memory."

Firestar then went on to announce a few retirements- Speckletail and Dapplelight were joining the Elders, while Beestripe was changing her role to Builder due to strain on her joints making her Scout duties too painful and difficult for her to continue with at her age. When the meeting was adjourned, Graystripe was startled by Mistyfoot flicking her tail against his side to grab his attention. "We need to talk. Now" she said in a grave voice. He was confused but went along, guiding her slightly outside of the camp into the forest.

"Here should be fine," he told her as they looked around to check if they were truly alone. "Now, what did you need to talk to me about?"

"You're in love with Firestar and Sandstorm."

"How did you know?!" Graystripe exclaimed, fur bristling slightly with embarrassment. 'I thought did a good job of hiding it; how could she have noticed?!'

"Literally any cat with functional eyes can see that you are. When Firestar gave the address you spent the entire time looking at him as though he'd hung the moon in the sky. And not to mention that display heading back from the battle."

He sighed, lowering his head in defeat. "Okay, yes, I am. But why does that-" "You know Stars-damned well why that matters right now." Mistyfoot said sternly, cutting him off.

"Graystripe, you joined RiverClan after your kits were born. You're a RiverClan Warrior now, not a ThunderClan one. You cannot live with a paw in both Clans, no matter how much you may want to. You need to make a choice: stay with your kits in RiverClan, or see if ThunderClan will take you back. Make a choice now, before you ruin your life." And with that, she turned and walked back to camp as though their discussion had never happened.

For his part, Graystripe just stood there, feeling as though he'd been struck. He hadn't even considered the eventuality that he and the others would have to return to RiverClan. That is, if Leopardstar would even take them back. He wasn't sure whether she truly had supported Tigerstar's stance on killing half-Clan cats or if she'd just gone along with it to appease him. She was very difficult to read.

But Mistyfoot had been right when she'd said he needed to make a choice. And he knew what that choice needed to be. What it had to be. If he left RiverClan, Willowpaw and Featherpaw would be left without any parent to care for them. And while their aunts would no doubt do their best in his stead (StarClan knows Smallsplash and Breezeripple were nothing but loving to their niblings despite whatever they may have thought of the kits' father) he couldn't leave them alone. He couldn't abandon his family a second time.

No matter how badly it hurt to leave Firestar and Sandstorm. But he knew in his heart that they would support his choice too. They would understand. They always did. He began to solemnly head back towards camp when he was bowled over by Featherpaw, who immediately began to playfully bite his ears with a shout of "in an enemy territory, never let your guard down!". No doubt wisdom instilled in her by her mentor. He felt teeth dig into his tail and caught a glimpse of Willowpaw tugging on it with a small smile on his face. Graystripe just laughed as he shook them off with ease. They were already nearly twice the size of the other RiverClan apprentices at this point, but their father was still bigger than them.

"You're getting so good at this! But you still can't beat your dad! Take this!" He exclaimed, leaping and pinning the two down under his weight and roughly nuzzling them until they were all laughing and purring.

Yes, he knew this was the right choice. Even though he would still be leaving cats he loved behind no matter what.

=================================================

The very next day, Thornclaw came into camp followed by a small platoon of RiverClan Warriors, and Graystripe knew immediately that this was it. Mistyfoot immediately joined the group, and Featherpaw and Willowpaw quickly followed after saying goodbye to their grandmother, aunt, and uncles (which was a weird sentence to say considering that Rainpaw, Sootpaw, and Sorrelpaw were only a few moons older than their niece and nephew). His mother and siblings went up to him after, looking at him with sadness in their eyes.

"You're all really leaving?" Sootpaw asked, ears and whiskers drooping. "Why can't you and Willowpaw and Featherpaw just stay in ThunderClan?"

"Leopardstar tried to kill you guys! She'll probably do it for real next time! Just stay here with us!" Rainpaw exclaimed before Brightheart stepped in and forcibly herded her apprentice away. Graystripe could still hear his brother arguing with her as they left.

Sorrelpaw didn't even try to stop her older brother from leaving. She just rested her head in Graystripe's shoulder, burying her face in his fur. He could feel the tears beginning to soak his fur as she whispered "I'll miss you" before stepping away to follow after Sootpaw as he left as well. Leaving Graystripe face to face with his mother.

Willowmoon nuzzled his head gently, the way she had when he was a kit in the Nursery, even though now she had to lean up pretty far to do so. "I'm so proud of you" she murmured gently. "I want you to know that. We all are." Graystripe began to cry in earnest now, nuzzling his mother back. "I love you, mom." "I love you too, sweetheart."

And she pulled away, leaving him with the last cats he needed to say goodbye to. Firestar looked as though he wanted to embrace him, but seemed to decide not to, given the RiverClan cats still present and waiting for Graystripe to join them. "I love you, I always will" he whispered quietly, so that none but the three of them could hear. Sandstorm just flicked him with her tail, a gesture of casual faux-irritation to hide her own grief and sadness. "Take care of yourself, you mouse-brain." They left too, and now Graystripe was out of time.

He slowly joined Mistyfoot and his children at the edge of the camp. Mistyfoot dipped her head in farewell, and they all turned and left. Graystripe was the last to follow.

He couldn't bring himself to say anything during the trek back to RiverClan. Mistyfoot, Willowpaw, and Featherpaw were talking plenty, catching up on what exactly had happened in their absence and how the Clan was doing things after Tigerstar's death. Graystripe just kept telling himself that this was necessary and that he needed to do this as they reached the entrance to the RiverClan camp. Leopardstar was waiting there alongside Blackclaw. 'He's probably her new Deputy' he thought to himself. He also noted that she seemed more well-fed then she typically did, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that either.

"Follow me" Leopardstar told them in an emotionless tone as she guided Graystripe, Mistyfoot, Willowpaw, and Featherpaw to the Streamspire, presumably to announce their return to the Clan. Once all of them were perched atop the rock, she began to speak.

"Cats of RiverClan, gather by the river for a Clan meeting. As you know, we were recently forced by a violent intruder to do horrible things. Things such as driving out our own Warriors and apprentices who assisted us all in our times of need and who were invaluable members of our Clan. Tigerstar had them punished solely for the mistakes of their parents."

'Tigerstar wasn't the only one who wanted us gone. Who do you think you're fooling, you liar?' Graystripe thought bitterly as Leopardstar continued to speak.

"Therefore, I have fetched them from ThunderClan and will also be granting one of them a new mentor due to Stonefur's tragic passing." She stressed the last two words as Blackclaw and a few other warriors hissed at the mention of half-Clan cats being allowed to return. "And," she continued to the crowd's nervous excitement, "I will also be naming a permanent Deputy. Blackclaw, come up onto the Streamspire."

Blackclaw ascended the large stone with a victorious smirk on his face.

'Fantastic. The worst cat in the Clan is being named Deputy. This feels just like when Bluestar nominated Tigerclaw all over again.'

"Blackclaw, you have been an incredible Warrior with years in service to your Clan. Therefore... I give Featherpaw to you as an apprentice."

Graystripe's stomach dropped and he saw Featherpaw shrink back slightly in horror. Blackclaw had made no secret that he despised the newly revealed half-Clan cats during the time they were prisoners in the camp. 'I can't let this happen' he thought, mind racing. 'He'll hurt her!'

"No!" He exclaimed, jumping between his daughter and Blackclaw before he even thought about what he was doing.

"What do you think you're doing, Graystripe?" snarled Blackclaw as he slid out his claws and bared his fangs. "Are you disobeying your Clan Leader? Again?"

"Stop this at once." Leopardstar's cold voice boomed from behind them. "Graystripe, stand down. Blackclaw will be Featherpaw's new mentor. You have no right to question my decisions on this matter."

"No right?!" Graystripe yowled in rage as he turned to face her. "I am her father! Blackclaw went above and beyond Tigerstar's orders to harm us when we were prisoners, and if you make him Featherpaw's mentor he'll do worse! I won't let you do this!"

The assembled Clan sat in stunned silence as Leopardstar advanced on Graystripe, ears folded back and eyes narrowed. Then, just when Graystripe thought she was about to spring at him to attack, she paused and turned back to the crowd.

She gave a heavy sigh and shook her head slowly in what seemed to be sadness, though her eyes held nothing but cold anger and thinly-veiled distain. "Graystripe, when you begged to join RiverClan, I had hoped that you would live up to the expectations of a good Warrior. That is what Stormstar asked of you, what all of us asked of you. But, while you have been here, you have been nothing but a liability. I have given you chance after chance, but you have failed each time. Though it pains me greatly to do so, your insubordination has left me no choice. Graystripe, I hereby exile you from RiverClan forever. Go wherever you wish, but you will never be welcome in this territory again."

Graystripe felt his heart turn to stone as the assembled cats started shouting in a clamor of voices. 'No. She can't do this. She can't!'

Willowpaw and Featherpaw cried out in horror and tried to run to him, but were blocked by Leopardstar and Blackclaw. Graystripe turned to Mistyfoot, desperate for any aid, but she just looked at him with a sad but resolute gaze. 'I can't help you', she was probably saying. 'No matter how much I wish that I could'. Voleclaw and a few other Warriors began to ascend the Streamspire and grabbed ahold of Graystripe, dragging him to the earth below and towards the entrance to the camp.

Distantly, he heard Featherpaw and Willowpaw desperately crying out for him, telling them to stop, begging Leopardstar to stop this, but she gave no such command and despite his attempts to reach them he was forced back again and again. It was only when the mob began to claw at him hard enough to draw blood and shove him over the border hard enough to hurt that his energy gave out.

He looked up at the angry, spiteful, or indifferent faces of the cats waiting to make sure he truly left, wondering if any of them would change their minds, or if this was just a cruel joke, but as they just stood there staring at him, he finally realized that this was real. There was no going back. He would never see his children again. He turned and mutely trudged away, tears rolling down his face as he listened numbly to the jeers of the Warriors shouting after him. He didn't pay any attention to where he was going. He just kept walking aimlessly, hoping that a bolt of lightning would strike him, or a dog would crush him in its jaws, or that the ground would open wide and swallow him whole.

He wanted to die. He had nothing left to live for. He was truly alone.

=================================================

Graystripe walked for what was probably weeks, only ever stopping when he literally passed out from exhaustion. His paws were definitely bleeding. His pelt was a mess with tangles and thorns. He looked, smelled, and felt dead.

He didn't even remember when it was that he entered ThunderClan territory. He didn't notice. It was only when he woke up in the Medicine Den with Yellowfang, Firestar, Sandstorm, and his mother crowded around him that he realized where he was.

[sysig]

Challenge level: Impossible (Patreon)

[katyspersonal]

Cool.. Our rent price got raised. :') I did not know it was even possible to get even MORE poor than me and mom already were, but here we are. Guess I'll start surviving on literal bread and water at this rate.

[musical-chick-13]

"Nobody does this, don't EVER write this, no real person acts like that."

Buddy. Consider that. You do not have OCD. And I do.

[mxknismesis]

i probably need a break from this blog lol. i swear i will see any negatively worded post and regardless of who it's directed at or even what the contents of the post itself are, and i will look at it, and i will think, "ah! clearly this is an attack directed at me personally because op hates me specifically and wants me to know that"

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[omegasmileyface]

starting 2 hate myself in a way i havent since high school, with an intensity i havent since middle school, and with a level of "this is straight up the behavior of a morally bad person" i usually save for my elementary school self. so thats fun

[chastiefoul]

how they'd react when you wanted to sleep on the couch... just because.

fluff. light-hearted ft. gojo, nanami, sukuna, suguru, toji, choso

satoru

“baby scooch over.” a whispered voice along with a gentle nudge on the shoulder woke you from your dozed off state. “hmm?” you mumbled out, blinking your terribly heavy lids open although to no avail they’re begging to keep themselves shut. satoru glanced at you with a frown on his eyes with a pillow held close to his body. “scooch over baby,” he pleaded, kneeling beside the couch you’re currently lying on.

“go back to bed toru,” you said softly, tugging your blanket closer. “but you’re not there,” he whined, intertwining his hand with yours as he attacked it with kisses, not letting you go back to sleep, especially if it’s without him. “i thought you said you’re going to be fine?” you asked, jogging the memory of him being all smug while saying you could do whatever you wanted. “that was not me, i would never say that,” he said promptly and goodness you didn’t know before someone’s lips could turned that much downward. you chuckled breathily, knowing this will happen sooner or later.

you scooted over on the big couch, leaving him the space he’d been begging for. you could have sworn you heard a squeal before you’re wrapped in satoru’s warm hold, his head resting snugly atop of yours. “no sleeping on here anymore. not without me,” he said into your hair, kissing it softly.

❀

nanami

“but why, love?” he asked, having a hard time comprehending your wish to sleep alone on the living room only because... you randomly wanted to? you chuckled looking at his bewildered face, an expression of someone who’s probably racking his brain upside down thinking that he’s done something wrong. “ken, i promise it’s just because i feel like it and no reason other than that.” you cupped his face, planting a soft kiss on his nose.

nanami looked a little relieved, albeit sullen, hesitant in asking whether he could invite himself in or you wanted a little time for yourself. and when it’s finally time to sleep it’s becoming more obvious that your lover wasn’t going to make it easy for you.

“need any more blanket honey?” he asked tapping the head of the couch as he stood there a tad nervous, knowing full well you got everything you needed since he insisted to be the one to prepare it. pillows, blanket, a hot drink, he’s got it all for you. “i’m perfect here, ken. you can go to bed,” you said with a reassuring smile, yet it did the opposite effect to the man.

“can i be here until you sleep, my love? it’s just that i feel like i wouldn’t be able to rest properly until i see you do the same.” he stroke your cheek softly with his thumb, and when you leaned into his touch he knew he’s gone for you. that there’s no way he could be asleep if he went back to the bedroom in that moment—unless you’re with him, of course. though, he didn’t say this, he just continued combing through your strands of hair, loving the peaceful expression on your face.

and unfortunately for the blond man, when it comes to these things his thoughts were written all over his face. you already caught on the fact that he wanted to lie down with you there yet his wish in prioritizing your wants refrained him from speaking his. you laughed a little, feeling a burst of fondness towards the tall man.

“on a second thought, can you sleep here with me ken?” he moved as quick as the sentence ended, already making his way under the blanket. he sneaked a hand around your waist, pressing your body closer against him. “i was kind of hoping you’d ask,” he mumbled, slightly embarrassed. you snuggled closer to his chest, feeling utmost comfort as he rubbed your back gently.

“i know.”

❀

sukuna

not even ten minutes in trying to sleep on the said couch, sukuna had already carried you back towards your shared bedroom.

“but-“

“no.”

he put you on the bed gently, then he draped a blanket over as he tucked you in. sukuna has that look of a man who’s determined in keeping you there, and you already knew it’s a fight you could not win thus, you turned for another plan instead: pouting.

even until he got beside you as he rested his big hand on your stomach, you refused to look at him, crossing your hands in front of your chest. he sighed, “give me one good reason i should let you sleep out there,” he said exasperatedly. “cause i want some me time?” you claimed. even you weren’t sure why you’re battling him so hard on this.

“then have it here in this bed with me. you’ll get all cold later and cling to me later anyways. i’m just speeding up the process.” he replied, already closing his eyes.

“what a strange way of saying you couldn’t sleep without me,” you said, with a grin on your face. the feeling of his thumb moving against your skin brought you immense comfort, your impulsive plan long forgotten.

“if you already knew that then quit making it harder for me, brat.”

❀

toji

he stared at you who’s already making yourself comfortable on the couch, amused. “looking cozy there,” he said with a grin, a face of someone who’s up to no good. “yeah, it’s actually not ba-“ the sentence was cut off was your own squeal, toji had picked you up as he took your lying down position and put you top of him.

“you could’ve just asked first!” you fumed, hitting his bicep—which did more to you and it did him, how could one even get their muscle to be as hard as that? he just chuckled in response, putting a hand around your waist. “sorry doll, got too excited,” he said lazily, already seemed all happy, like he had all he needed.

and he did, with you close to him resting your head on his chest, knowing that you loved counting his heartbeat. the man was truly content.

“we really should get a bigger couch,” you mumbled. we should get everything you wanted, toji thought. but it’d be a bit much to say in the moment so instead he just continued rubbing your sides until you dozed off, plunging into the dream land.

“sleep.”

❀

suguru

“whatcha got there baby?” he asked, an easy smile on his face. there’s really no day with you where you didn’t make him tilt his head questioningly. “’m going to sleep here tonight,” you said, fluffing the pillow before lying down on it comfortably.

“okay, where’s mine then?”

“your what?”

“my pillow. you didn’t bring mine along yours?”

“oh well i just thought you’d want to sleep in the bed anyway?” you replied, and suguru looked like you just insulted him deeply. the couch dipped, he then lied down beside you on the same pillow, making him extra close as he embraced you. “i sleep where you sleep baby, you make me this way. i can no longer rest when i don’t get to hold you close like this,” he said softly, tucking your hair behind your ear.

you have a big smile on your face as he said this, inhaling his familiar scent as you put your arms around him. “that better not be a complaint,” you said, cuddling closer to the man.

“never.” he kissed your temple.

❀

choso

it seriously look like it killed him when he had to walk away from the room, leaving you to sleep by yourself on the couch. his steps were excruciatingly slow, taking as much time as he could in case you changed your mind.

“cho?” you almost laughed looking at the way he perked up, a hopeful expression on his face. “can you turn off the light on your way?” and it almost felt too cruel the way the sparkle on his eyes dimmed, his shoulders beyond slumped. he then practically had to drag his own feet before letting out a small nod.

you chuckled, couldn’t keep up with the teasing anymore. “i’m kidding baby, do you wanna get in here?” you lifted up the blanket, patting the empty space next to you. it was the fastest you’ve ever seen him, as he’s beside you in no time.

he clinged to you tightly, like he’s making sure as much of his skin made contact with yours, a satisfied smile on his face. his hair tickled your neck nicely, as you traced the area below his eye with back of your finger.

“next time you want something just ask, cho.”

[necronomeconomicism]

Ok gotta talk about it.

As a Jewish historian, I fucking hate Israel in ways most probably will never be able to comprehend. I'm going to try and explain it anyways. The central creation myth of Israel is that it is Jewish, and then consequently, that Israel is a part of Jewishness. Its easy to simply state this is false, but fully comprehending this and putting it into practice in thought and deed seems rare to me.

The evil at the heart of this violence predates the recent acceleration of genocide. Israel is a colony, and more than that, an antisemitic fraud itself. After WW2, when Israel was being founded, the Jews of Europe generally did not wave goodbye to their neighbors and head to the promised land. Many were expelled from their homes. Zionism itself, as an action, was a false choice at the time. A mere excuse to place an ally in the middle east, and an excuse to complete the expulsion and destruction of the European Jew. The Zionist Jew is more than complicit in this, they actively seek the destruction and assimilation of all other Jews.

Many fail to realize, and largely because of Israel, that Jews are not inherently white, Ashkenazi, European-descended people. Our faith and culture has an immense variety that is spread all across the globe. Jewishness, in population and volume of culture, exists more so outside of Israel than within it. Israel is for a very specific kind of Jew. The kind that lets Yiddish die, that attaches themselves to European things, that makes themselves and their practices as white as possible.

And they have the nerve, the fucking belligerent GALL, to frame themselves as the necessary saviors of our people. To the Zionist, questioning Israel is to question Jewishness itself. They bake adoration for the colonial machine into their very prayers, and push them on us even as children. To *not* oppress, to *not* kill, to *not* genocide, is to invite death. This is the core of fascistic thought, of course. "Kill them before they kill us." And they KNOW this too, they really do. The truth of that irony does not matter, because as is true for all fascists, the truth itself does not matter to them. They wanted this, they wanted this even before the British saw it in their best interest to give them the land. Any excuse to RETVRN, as the neo-nazis say of Rome, or the German Empire, or whatever the fuck stupid country they want to poorly animate the corpse of. Some select Zionists even *sided with the fucking Nazis* in agreement they should abandon Europe to colonize Palestine. (Haavara Agreement)

My people have proved time and time and time again you don't need a nation state to have an enduring culture. We have protected ourselves for thousands of years without the help of these spiteful, doom-saying maniacs. I was going to post something like this on Passover, but that would be hypocritical. The state of Israel doesn't actually have shit to do with Jewishness. Hear Israel (the state and supporters, Israel the icon) I should outlive it long enough to bury it. (old yiddish curse)

Free Palestine. Donate what you can, they need it right now.