#and not because she would scorch the earth if he died

[diamondsunbursts-and-marblehalls]

The way Katniss is just stumbling through the Hunger Games like "I can keep Peeta alive through sheer willpower combined with how much everyone loves him cause he's the most wholesome and perfect person in the whole universe" and Peeta is out here making these elaborate plans; i.e., "she came here with me", "if it weren't for the baby", the locket with pictures of her mom and Prim, and GALE??? Wanting to make alliances.

Like, one of you is Haymitch's carbon copy and it shows.

[sayruq]

NAHLA AL-ARIAN HAS been living a nightmare for the past seven months, watching from afar as Israel carries out its scorched-earth war against her ancestral homeland in the Gaza Strip. Like many Palestinian Americans, the 63-year-old retired fourth-grade teacher from Tampa Bay, Florida, has endured seven months of a steady trickle of WhatsApp messages about the deaths of her relatives. “You see, my father’s family is originally from Gaza, so they are a big family. And they are not only in Gaza City, but also in Deir al Balah and Khan Younis, other parts,” Al-Arian told me. Recently, the trickle of horrors became a flood: “It started with like 27, and then we lost count until I received this message from my relative who said at least 200 had died.” The catastrophe was the backdrop for Al-Arian’s visit last week to Columbia University in New York City. Al-Arian has five children, four of whom are journalists or filmmakers. On April 25, two of her daughters, Laila and Lama, both award-winning TV journalists, visited the encampment established by Columbia students to oppose the war in Gaza. Laila, an executive producer at Al Jazeera English with Emmys and a George Polk Award to her name, is a graduate of Columbia’s journalism school. Lama was the recipient of the prestigious 2021 Alfred I. duPont–Columbia Award for her reporting for Vice News on the 2020 explosion at the port of Beirut. The two sisters traveled to Columbia as journalists to see the campus, and Nahla joined them. “Of course, I tagged along. You know, why would I sit at the hotel by myself? And I wanted to really see those kids. I felt so down,” she said. “I was crying every day for Gaza, for the children being killed, for the women, the destruction of my father’s city, so I wanted to feel better, you know, to see those kids. I heard a lot about them, how smart they are, how organized, you know? So I said, let’s go along with you. So I went.” Nahla Al-Arian was on the campus for less than an hour. She sat and listened to part of a teach-in, and shared some hummus with her daughters and some students. Then she left, feeling a glimmer of hope that people — at least these students — actually cared about the suffering and deaths being inflicted on her family in Gaza. “I didn’t teach them anything. They are the ones who taught me. They are the ones who gave me hope,” she recalled. “I felt much better when I went there because I felt those kids are really very well informed, very well educated. They are the conscience of America. They care about the Palestinian people who they never saw or got to meet.” Her husband posted a picture of Nahla, sitting on the lawn at the tent city erected by the student protesters, on his Twitter feed. “My wife Nahla in solidarity with the brave and very determined Columbia University students,” he wrote. Nahla left New York, inspired by her visit to Columbia, and returned to Virginia to spend time with her grandchildren. A few days later, that one tweet by her husband would thrust Nahla Al-Arian into the center of a spurious narrative promoted by the mayor of New York City and major media outlets. She became the exemplar of the dangerous “outside agitator” who was training the students at Columbia. It was Nahla’s presence, according to Mayor Eric Adams, that was the “tipping point” in his decision to authorize the military-style raids on the campus.

On February 20, 2003, Nahla’s husband, Sami Al-Arian, a professor at the University of South Florida, was arrested and indicted on 53 counts of supporting the armed resistance group Palestinian Islamic Jihad. The PIJ had been designated by the U.S. government as a terrorist organization, and the charges against Al-Arian could have put him in prison for multiple life sentences, plus 225 years. It was a centerpiece case of the George W. Bush administration’s domestic “war on terror.” When John Ashcroft, Bush’s notorious attorney general, announced the indictment, he described the Florida-based scholar as “the North American leader of the Palestinian Islamic Jihad, Sami Al-Arian.” Among the charges against him was conspiracy to kill or maim persons abroad, specifically in Israel, yet the prosecutors openly admitted Al-Arian had no connection to any violence. He was a well-known and deeply respected figure in the Tampa community, where he and Nahla raised their family. He was also, like many fellow Palestinians, a tenacious critic of U.S. support for Israel and of the burgeoning “global war on terror.” His arrest came just days before the U.S. invaded Iraq, a war Al-Arian was publicly opposed to. The Al-Arian case was, at its core, a political attack waged by Bush’s Justice Department as part of a wider assault on the rights of Muslims in the U.S. The government launched a campaign, echoed in media outlets, to portray Al-Arian as a terror leader at a time when the Bush administration was ratcheting up its so-called global war on terror abroad, and when Muslims in the U.S. were being subjected to harassment, surveillance, and abuse. The legal case against Al-Arian was flimsy, and prosecutors largely sought to portray his protected First Amendment speech and charitable activities as terrorism. The trial against Al-Arian, a legal permanent resident in the U.S., did not go well for federal prosecutors. In December 2005, following a six-month trial, a jury acquitted him on eight of the most serious counts and deadlocked 10-2 in favor of acquittal on the other nine. The judge made clear he was not pleased with this outcome, and the prosecutors were intent on relitigating the case. Al-Arian had spent two years in jail already without any conviction and was staring down the prospect of years more. In the face of this reality and the toll the trial against him had taken on his family, Al-Arian agreed to take a plea deal. In 2006, he pleaded guilty to one count of providing nonviolent support to people the government alleged were affiliated with the PIJ. As part of the deal, Al-Arian would serve a short sentence and, with his residency revoked, get an expedited deportation. At no point during the government’s trial against Al-Arian did the prosecution provide evidence he was connected to any acts of violence. For the next eight years following his release from prison in 2008, Al-Arian was kept under house arrest and effectively subjected to prosecutorial harassment as the government sought to place him in what his lawyers characterized as a judicial trap by compelling him to testify in a separate case. His defense lawyers alleged the federal prosecutor in the case, who had a penchant for pursuing high-profile, political cases, held an anti-Palestinian bias. Amnesty International raised concerns that Al-Arian had been abused in prison and he faced the prospect of yet another lengthy, costly court battle. The saga would stretch on for several more years before prosecutors ended the case and Al-Arian was deported from the United States.

“This case remains one of the most troubling chapters in this nation’s crackdown after 9-11,” Al-Arian’s lawyer, Jonathan Turley, wrote in 2014 when the case was officially dropped. “Despite the jury verdict and the agreement reached to allow Dr. Al-Arian to leave the country, the Justice Department continued to fight for his incarceration and for a trial in this case. It will remain one of the most disturbing cases of my career in terms of the actions taken by our government.” That federal prosecutors approved Al-Arian’s plea deal gave a clear indication that the U.S. government knew Al-Arian was not an actual terrorist, terrorist facilitator, or any kind of threat; the Bush administration, after all, was not in the habit of letting suspected terrorists walk. Al-Arian and his family have always maintained his innocence and say that he was being targeted for his political beliefs and activism on behalf of Palestinians. He resisted the deal, Nahla Al-Arian said. “He didn’t even want to accept it. He wanted to move on with another trial,” Nahla said. “But because of our pressure on him, let’s just get done with it [because] in the end, we’re going leave anyway. So that’s why.” Sami and Nahla Al-Arian now live in Turkey. Sami is not allowed to visit his children and grandchildren stateside, but Nahla visits often.

[diejager]

I HAVE A (kinda) stepdad!König+DBF!Horangi

so it was a while ago but I reealllyyyy liked the one u did where reader’s sort of hooking up w/ soap and ghost on the side?? If u remember that

I was wondering if you could do a story where they’re sort of just hooking up occasionally (as often as reader can get away) but clearly both the boy like them and want to further it but she’s worried about König and Horangi finding out.

pretty much they notice her exhibiting really weird behaviors in and out of bed towards them?? She’ll freak out if they approach her a specific way (not knowing König and Horangi take advantage of her that way) or sort of doesn’t rly care about her own pleasure cuz she’s sacrificing it for theirs…just sort of stuff that makes Soap and Ghost go “uhhh 🧍🧍‍♂️that’s kinda weird innit” (they’re presenting traits of being groomed/manipulated/raped/etc)

anyways somehow Soap and Ghost find out ab what’s going on at home and….yeah they’re not happy 😬😬

Thank you for your consideration!!!

— 🌘 !

Cw: DARKFIC, STEPCEST, DUB-CON/NON-CON, implied smut, abuse, implied kidnapping, possessive behaviour, implied one night stand, implied crush, kinda poly, tell if I missed any.

They weren’t saints. If anything, they were the farthest thing possible from good-natured men, with kind hearts and sound morals. Ghost and Soap were sick men, soaked in bloodshed and tragedy, gunpowder and tears, they weren’t good men, they were simply men doing another’s dirty work to keep the world safer. They’d seen their fair share of filth on this earth, the most depraved and savage monsters that found pleasure in plundering and killing, covert crimes done under the nose of most civilians, and hushed exchanges for prizes. They, themselves, have committed unforgettable and unforgivable acts, torture, murders, arson, and so, so much regrettable things that would forever scar their victims.

But this- your situation was gut-wrenching, in a way that twisted their guts and made their throats tight, deathly silent in the brewing rage. From Simon, who had an abusive up-bringing and torturous life, morals and ethics twisted beyond normalcy and comprehension; to Johnny, who’s busybody life turned darker and darker with every life he’s taken, bodies piling over bodies, a permanent reminder that he wasn’t the same bright-eyed and goodwilling saint he was when he first enlisted. 

They were mad: Simon enraptured in wrath, burning hotter than hell’s fire, whose rage rivaled one of God; and Johnny bubbled with rage, running through his veins like rivers of magma, scorching everything on his path to ash and rock. They were enraged to see the way you were used and forced into a new purpose by older men —much, much older men that they knew. Whereas Simon seethed silently, Johnny screeched loudly, words stumbling in a crazed frenzy.

It just- it simply wasn’t a good-natured frenzy. Ghost and Soap were not good men. It stemmed from jealousy and emotional possession. The many dates that you’d suddenly canceled, calling in a rain check that they had listened, were because you’d been fucked numb, legs too weak to walk or support you, tied to your bed or filled with another man’s cum. How rarely they met you outside of simple bar nights with your girlfriends before you’d hookup with them for the night until you had to leave. Or your reoccurring bruises, hidden under the clear lie of being clumsy, a white lie, truly, but a lie nonetheless and they hated liars. 

And the worse thing, the one that hits the most, was that you were being fucked, and abused, and taken advantage of by men they constantly butted heads with. Once enemies, always enemies. They didn’t forgive or forget in their business, and their rivalry would continue until one or the other had died. Ghost would plan, scheme your taking and Soap would take care of you, a man much softer than his rough hide. Soap would gently introduce you into your new life, and if it does work, then Ghost would have to step in, eyes dark and heart frozen over. 

You’d eventually like living with them. At least you liked them.

Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @haven-1307 @shironasumi @lucienbarkbark @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @223princess @maylovesyousomuch @cod-z @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami

[dadvans]

on shannon.

shannon was not the great love of eddie's life, she was the biggest mistake that he could never reconcile, because she died. her death i think prevented eddie from ever doing any sort of meaningful self reflection on what kind of partner he was trying to fight for when shannon left him.

they were so young, and eddie liked the idea of having a wife who was a mother to his kid that he could escape from, because it meant he didn't have to put in the effort to maintain a relationship. whenever he was actually with shannon, he never allowed her any grace to suffer or make mistakes or be her own person. the only time he ever met her halfway was when he was chasing her, and he would chase her to the original line she had set in the sand, hoping after hope that he would finally step over it, which he still never did.

shannon wasn't the great love of eddie's life, and eddie should never have been the only love of hers. she deserved to find someone who would give and take to be with her. eddie deserved to see what shannon looked like when she was actually loved, and how she could have thrived in a partnership with someone who wanted more than just the idea of her.

and he still is just chasing the idea of her! beyond high school sweethearts, did he ever know or love the woman that she grew into while he was away, when she was being a mom, when she was dealing with her mother's breast cancer and a disabled child all on her own? he was so good at putting her in a box labeled Shannon and taking her off and on the shelf when he needed her, and he keeps taking that box out now and sorting through it without realizing or loving who she was outside of it. he deserved to be left by her, and it's a shame that she died, because he deserved to live with the weight of knowing she could have left for good and still lived and thrived. he deserved to be slapped in the face with all the things he never provided by seeing it in someone else.

so many of eddie's relationships are based on what they can give him, how he can be supported by them. i don't think he's ever been able to realistically support himself long term. i do really hope in the next episode we see him go scorched earth with everyone in a way that he has to learn how to live with himself without other people. and i hope that's how he gains closure on shannon. he needs to learn that she was never the love of his life because she gave him what she needed while living in the absence of his own affection and sacrifice. he wants to repent for something so bad, but he doesn't realize this is what it is.

[nesiacha]

Another Frustration with the Series (Spoiler Alert for Blood and Fire and House of the Dragon)

Me after see the episode

Alert spoil

I watched the new episode. Maybe I'm a masochist, but honestly, I didn't like it at all. This is just my personal opinion. I’m probably not going to be thrilled with what I have to say about the Blacks and the Greens.

Let's start with the death of Rhaenys. In the book, she is totally badass from beginning to end. Even more so at her death: I mean, she saw Aegon and Aemond charging at her with their two dragons, including Vhagar. It’s clearly stated that she had a chance against Vhagar (in my opinion, she would have beaten him one-on-one since she has a lot of combat experience—just look at Aemond getting beaten by Daemon and Caraxes. As for Aegon and his dragon, she would have made short work of him). But instead of retreating, knowing it would probably be her end, she decides to engage in battle. She dies a warrior’s death, fitting for her life. Here, she is taken by surprise by Aemond... I mean, the trap was there to catch the two dragonriders from the Green camp from the start, the Blacks fell into it, but from the beginning of the confrontation, it was Rhaenys against Aegon and Aemond at the same time. The series did not respect the book's Rhaenys, who is a thousand times better in my eyes.

Similarly, Aemond could usurp his nephews and seemed in the book not to care about his sister Helaena (just like Aegon). He would have said that the crown suited him better, but he never tried to usurp Aegon (one of the few positive points because frankly, I don't understand the whitewashing of Aemond—GRR Martin deliberately made him resemble Maegor without any strategy, and Maegor was less worse in his usurpation of the throne because Visenya brought him not out of ambition but to fight the militant faith that was rampant everywhere; seriously, Aemond would be the equivalent of Gregor Clegane with a little more intelligence, although very gullible if he possessed a dragon).

The rise of Cole as Hand of the King. I’ve talked about him many times. This guy is Littlefinger if he were less clever and more acclaimed (he is a deliberate contrast to characters like Jaime Lannister and Sandor Clegane, who are more hated in Westeros but more honorable than him). The series overlooks what he did first as Hand of the King. He put all of Rhaenyra's supporters in the dungeons to the sword (he directly told them to choose between submitting to Aegon II or dying—most chose to die). Moreover, the writers make him seem more competent than he is (he is slightly more intelligent than Aemond but not by much). Yes, he practices scorched earth, won a Pyrrhic victory, and tried to rule by terror. But GRR Martin made it clear that an enemy might seem more powerful and oppress the smallfolk, but he can have people stand up to him precisely because of that terror (see the example of Tywin Lannister who is beaten militarily and even when he kills Robb, the fights continue subtly in the book). Here, I feel like the show presents him as competent.

Let’s not talk about Otto Hightower. It's not a question of saying he ruled wisely—I mean, he inherited a stable policy under Jaehaerys (although I don't like that character at all), didn’t care about the Stepstones, and let the Triarchy take it, which is a crucial route for Westeros' trade. Not very brilliant, not to mention that the Greens stole the royal treasury and spread it out in several places, causing the smallfolk to suffer, and Rhaenyra found nothing when she arrived at King's Landing and had to raise taxes.

Alicent Hightower... Honestly, I still don't understand her connection with Cole in the show. Cole only cares about power and not Alicent (in my opinion), and Alicent is Cersei with ambition, knowing that it’s better not to have adulterous relations unlike Cersei. Nevertheless, I don't like book Alicent much for trying to shame a 12-year-old Rhaenyra regarding Cole (when she wonders who will protect Rhaenyra from Cole), while if there was any ambiguous behavior, it was from Cole who is an adult and acted creepily. Honestly, Viserys was a horrible father for tolerating a Cole when any father would have at least kicked him out and let that slide.

Moving on to the Blacks, even though there are characters I really like (like Baela and Rhaena—thank you very much, show, for not showing them well), Jacaerys (who shows that diplomacy is better than force since it’s mainly the Starks who turned the tide), Rhaenys, and even Corlys... Even if the Greens initiated the first thing that can be blamed like the usurpation of the throne by ambition, stealing the royal treasury, and that Aegon II was a horrible king and unleashed dragons on the smallfolk... The Blacks also had things to reproach themselves for, like the murder of Aegon II and Helaena's eldest son in response to the gratuitous murder of Lucerys. Even if the murder (deliberate, sorry show, I don't accept it) of Lucerys was horrible, they also inflicted this death on an innocent in front of their mother’s eyes. Even though Daemon wasn’t a Tytos 2.0, unlike his brother, he was competent in wars or with the Goldcloaks, and he was rightly annoyed with Otto, there was a caprice and cruelty in him (certainly not as much as Aemond or Tywin) that did not fit a consort king (plus his horrible phrase about the heir for a day).

As for Rhaenyra, even though in some aspects she is tragic and I won’t blame her for her mistakes in trusting a creepy Cole as a teenager (in my eyes, she is a victim here, so we don’t blame the victim), there are things that clearly indicate she was destined to be a bad queen from the start. It's not that she had bastard children because Laenor couldn’t have given her children as he was very gay, and she respected that, plus she was forced into this marriage by her father Viserys (and after all, Catherine II had illegitimate children as her husband was apparently incapable of giving her any, and one of them reigned). It could have worked with great political intelligence, but she took it for granted that she was going to be queen (even though I don't understand why the series says she left the castle and settled at Dragonstone when she was more or less forced to leave) when her stepmother Rhaenys was the living example that being accepted as queen would be difficult. At the start, she was ready to handle the Hightowers with care but refused to renounce her rights (and she was right). She tried to use soft power until Aemond deliberately killed Lucerys. But there is no trace of her condemning the murder of the son of Aegon and Helaena . As the tragedies unfolded, she became increasingly paranoid and alienated even her allies. I understand that she had to raise taxes because of the Greens’ theft of the royal treasury, but she lived a lavish lifestyle. Even if Rhaenyra was, in my eyes, lesser compared to Aegon II among the Greens, as Kelsey L. Hayes so well said, the tragedy is that neither side proved worthy of the crown. The main victim was the smallfolk. Incidentally, I didn't understand the propaganda saying that Maegor is Rhaenyra because if that were true, she would have thrown Cole to a dragon, maybe even other Hightowers, and massacred all of King's Landing at the slightest protest (and if Tywin or Maegor were actually in Daemon and Rhaenyra's place from the start, they would have ordered the murder of all the Hightowers to the last, including infants—just look at the murder of Elia Martell and her children to be convinced, as Tywin acted both opportunistically and to take revenge on poor Elia who simply had the "fault" of marrying Rhaegar instead of Cersei).

And frankly, I was happy when Cregan Stark arrived, came to restore order, and scolded both sides. That’s why he is in my top 20 favorite characters.

In short, why this long message? Because none of the tragedy so well done by GRR Martin is conveyed in the show, there is too much whitewashing of some characters, and characters inconsistent with the plot (Mysaria, Alicent, etc.). Unlike the producers of Game of Thrones (who made bad scripts and destroyed or erased very good characters), the writers of House of the Dragon have no excuse as they know the ending. When I learned there was a prequel, I was happy because I thought I would reconnect with the spirit of Game of Thrones before it went off the rails. Huge disappointment. I don't think I will continue watching this series. It's sad but I don't want to make another facepalm by watching this show XD

Once again, just my opinion :)

[clangenrising]

Okay I love Scorch and Yarrowshade making up but I gotta say people (felines)-stop saying Mystique is sulking when she is clearly grieving.

Her brother died and despite the fact he was the scum of the Earth her grief is natural

Yeah, it sucks that the others delegitimize her grief just because she expresses her grief in such a "pouty" way. Like another ask said, it sucks that the one cat who would understand and reach out to her is dead at her brother's hand.

[cowbaehawyee]

Random and borderline incoherent bad batch thoughts (finale edition)

SPOILERS

When they killed cx-2 I was like…. Oh. Now I have to actually grieve tech because I was in complete and utter denial about him dying. However, I think him staying dead does add weight to his sacrifice

Omegas a rebellion pilot?? The goggles on the dash??? She’s grown up and hunter is old?????😭😭 i fear that salt and pepper hunter is going to have a select few members of the fandom in an absolute chokehold

I wonder what old wrecker and crosshair looked like lol

Speaking of wrecker I was pissing myself at multiple points. Really thought they were gonna kill my boy. And then echo

Clone force 99 died with tech? i deserve this?? Cross be so real right now. Glad hunter and wrecker put a stop to that bs

Pain, terrible pain

Suffering, even

But we did in fact get a bittersweet ending. Honestly the best ending I could have imagined with tech staying dead. Exactly what I envisioned for them

Yeah Zillo beast! Go zillo!!! I am joining the war against the zillo beast on the side of the zillo beast!!!!! Go buddy!!

ECHO FINISHED FIVES’ MISSION ajskjskskzhjdksjasjj 😭😭😭😭😭

Absolutely saw ramparts snake ass betrayal coming a mile away. Not gonna say I called it but I really did. Shame he got blown up

Didn’t really think Nala se was gonna die but it is extremely in character for a Kaminoan to go scorched earth and suicide bomb themselves rather than let someone else take credit for their work

The bridge scene

… crosshairs tremor was SO bad coming up to the base and he went in anyway. But on the bridge? Complete steady.

Hemlocks bitch ass got what was coming to him. Completely appropriate that crosshair and hunter were the ones to ice him. If this has to be a substitute for crosshair going to therapy then so be it

Wait did scorch die? Rip to my boy

I can’t believe this show is actually fucking over 😭😭 like the mandalorian and clone wars got me into Star Wars but this show is what made me go fucking feral about it. I need to drink actual water because how many tears I have shed both over this and the episode in general

And finally, yay they all live!! I don’t have to quit Star Wars now! (I said I would if they all died). That actually really convenient because I have tickets to see phantom menace at the theater on Saturday and it would suck to cancel. I want that limited edition popcorn bucket

[phoebepheebsphibs]

I will never actually write this because it was too sad (even for me and my angsty skills...)

A while ago, I came up with the idea to write a really sad fic about the turtles. Duh.

A goal with all my fics is to have a moment where I make the audience cry, or at the very least get emotional. And this was no exception. It’s a personal challenge for me, to see if I can get my audience truly invested. But, I also need my fics to have a PURPOSE. So, if I was gonna write a sad and angsty fic, I needed a way to bring it to a moral or happy ending, to show a reason why the characters went through what they did, rather than just have a story for story's sake. So, I went about coming up with a synopsis for a story that showed how to deal with grief and guilt and hopelessness. But after several months of writing and ideas, I realized that it simply wasn't working out. The story wasn't just sad or angsty, it was utterly depressing. The message of hope even after death wasn't pulling through... and in addition, I got worried that the massive amounts of despair in the story were going to be detrimental to my mental health, if not also for the readers. Thusly, I scrapped the plot.

So fair warning, the stuff you're about to read is very emotional and kinda dark...

Naw I ain’t playing, turn back now while you have the chance.

CW: LOTS. OF. DEATH. Major illness, disintegration, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, even a suicide attempt.

I was even in the process of making cover art for it (which I do for all my fics lol)

The fic literally starts out with a note from April (the narrator), explaining that she documented everything and warns the reader that this story does not have a happy ending. It takes place about a week after the invasion, and the family was having a rough time. Mikey's hands were absolutely scorched, Donnie's immune system was shot and he seemed to be getting ill, Raph was having constant panic attacks, and Leo wasn't getting better from his injuries. To top it all off, a new government branch was setting up camp in NYC and interrogating people about the events of the Krang attack. April had narrowly escaped but figured the Earth Protection Force would come back for her. Meanwhile, Leo’s injuries weren’t healing like they should have and he was getting worse… Eventually the family caved and asked for help from Agent Bishop and the EPF, but after some doctors and scientists took a look at Leo… they realized there was nothing anyone could do. They’d waited too long. Leo was not going to make it, and all they could do was make him comfortable for a few hours before he... yeah. So everyone said their goodbyes, and I actually have some snippets of dialogue written down and it makes me cry every time. Donnie had the worst reaction, upset by Leo's peace with the situation and devastated by his loss, believing that he never showed his appreciation and love for his twin as much as he should have. Leo attempts to comfort Donnie, but eventually tells him to "get over it". A few hours later, Leo dies in his sleep, and the room erupts into grief and panic and chaos until Donnie, in his pure anger, punches a hole through the heart monitor and leaves. Leo is given a viking send-off in the Hidden City, and afterwards, April asks what they are supposed to do now. Donnie angrily repeats Leo's last insight: get over it. April goes home, and after her parents ask her how her day was… she bursts into tears.

Several weeks later, Mikey tries to get Donnie and Raph to talk about their feelings, but they both refuse. Mikey himself is having issues, his hands not healing quickly and he wonders if he will ever be able to make a work of art again. He manages to get Donnie to admit his guilt of not being there for Leo and still holding anger and resentment towards his twin for sacrificing himself and dying. Mikey suggests that he speak with Raph, but Donatello refuses. Later, during an attack, Raph was knocked out and Donnie collapsed from his illness, which he had been hiding. Mikey realizes that it's left to him and uses his mystic powers to portal his brothers to safety, at the cost of his own life. Mikey comes to terms with this, believing that what he did was his mangum opus, and he feels no pain as he vanishes, greeted by Leo in the afterlife.

Donatello and Raphael mourn the loss of two brothers, and Donnie finally talks with Raph about his grief over Leo’s death (in honour of Dr. Feelings’ memory). However, his declining health is brought to light and Donnie is placed in quarantine. Casey Jr. identifies his illness as a common Krang disease, one his mother died of, and the group work overtime to create the cure. Raph stays with his last sibling and keeps him company. Donnie gets more and more sick, and one night while April and Casey are working with Agent Bishop to finalize the antidote, Donnie's fever worsens and he sleepwalks, hallucinating Mikey and Leo's return and them comforting Donnie and telling him that the others will be alright in his absence. Donnie senses that his time is almost up. Raph finds him but doesn't understand what Donnie is seeing or who he is talking to, and takes him back to bed. April and Casey finally finish the cure and rush home, hoping to make it back in time, but find Raph asleep by Donnie's bedside… Donnie having just succumbed to his illness a few hours prior.

Raph is left as the last one alive, dealing with extreme survivors' guilt for outliving his brothers and blames himself for their deaths. April tries to comfort him, Splinter, and Casey. (Casey notes that history seems to be repeating itself in reverse order— that while in the alternate timeline Raph died first and Leo last, the opposite has been happening here, and Casey fears that Raph might actually die somehow very soon.) Meanwhile, Raphael tries to atone for his guilt by overdoing the vigilante work on his own. Eventually he decides that it isn't enough, he can never atone, and he misses his brothers too much… so he writes a note to April and emails it to her, then goes to the Hidden City to pick a fight with Heinous Green... and let him win. April receives the email and she and the others rush to save Raph, who at this point has already found Heinous Green and is letting him beat the ever-loving life out of him. Halfway through, however, he realizes what he is doing and that his brothers would not want this for him, but it's too late... April and Casey find Raph near death and attempt to save him, but he goes unconscious from his injuries.

While April, Casey, Splinter and Draxum work to heal Raph's wounds and revive him, Raphael dreams of the afterlife, meeting up with his brothers and apologizing for everything. They comfort him, yet also explain that he has to wake up soon; and how April, Casey, and Splinter still need him. Raphael asks if he can stay, to which they promise that he will be okay without them and someday they will see each other again; that they aren’t mad at him for their deaths, but that he cannot speed up their meeting. Raph agrees to go home, to which they all say how proud they are of him. Raphael wakes up with his family around him, relieved that he survived. Later that night, he and April have a discussion where she scolds and berates him for trying to leave them, saying that she had no one left. He admits his actions and apologizes and promises to get better.

In an epilogue, April explains that it has been a full year since Raph’s injuries, and he is doing much better. The Hidden City made a memorial for the three lost brothers in honour of their sacrifices. Casey Jones Jr. has been doing better as well, though he will often have nights of panic and moments of grief that only Raph can get him through. Agent Bishop works with Raphael and Casey to keep the city safe from mutant attacks, and they work to create a new team, hinting to characters like Mona Lisa, Venus De Milo/Frida Kahlo, Leatherhead, and other characters from the comic series. April ends by stating that at the beginning, she said the story did not have a happy ending. She stands by this, stating that the story has not ended and will continue for as long as they live, and that she does her best to remember her friends and keep going on, not for their sake, but for her own. And that one day, she will see them again.

And as if THAT wasn't heart-wrenching enough, I also planned a short after-story of how something like 80 years later, The Hamato ghosts get ready to welcome Raph into the afterlife, showing Leo preparing a house for him and Mikey decorating and Donnie gardening.

So yeah this is the most depressing and heartbreaking thing I've ever written, and I ACTUALLY SPARED YOU FROM THE DIALOGUE I HAD WRITTEN TOO

[princess-of-the-corner]

Musing on that parent swap ask I sent and realized there's a scale of how terrible the relationships & couples are and its like...

The worst are hilariously, Andre/Emilie This is because they are mutually enabling all of each others worst traits all of the time and basically have zero conflict or differences because of it.

The entire world is their playground, their child is a favorite dolly they never want to grow up to be a real person, they cannot live without the other.

They could well become supervillains on their own with no tragedy simply to wish to make things more ideal for themselves. & if one lost the other, oh gods, they will scorch the earth a million times over.

Next up is Andre/Gabriel This is next on the list because like the above, these two might love one another but they are both deeply manipulative, selfish, controlling, people.

Both think they are the brave, wise protector of their poor husband and so enable each others issues, be it Gabriel's isolationism or Andre's neediness.

Their child is definitely a mess, what with living in mind games central, & deeply cloistered. Either man would definitely go super villain if the other died & generally not handle it with any grace.

Gabriel/Audrey You my ask why but the answer is simple, mutual understanding. Two prideful, egomaniacs who hate most people but share mutual respect & interests.

They "Love each other as much as two people like us can love." & so while their kids issues could be seen from space & their battles are legendary, they otherwise... Work. To everyone else's detriment.

They'd likely not become supervillains if the other died, but would regard them fondly. However, they would become supervillains together or alone for power; and 100% have a thing with Nathalie.

Which leaves Emilie/Audrey as the most 'functional' I hasten to add that is grading on a curve as round as the rings of Saturn. Still, the reason is simple, both knew what they were getting into.

Audrey sees Emilie as exceptional & treats her with adoration. Emilie loves who Audrey is 'for her', knew their child would be hers & not matter to Audrey & while diplomatic, can shrug off her wife's worst behavior. Just restrain the bile around her pet- I mean child a little.

The kid is still messed up, basically a lapdog/mascot for Emilie & regarded with aloof disregard by Audrey. I could see them becoming villains for the other, but it'd need to be something else that makes them stick with it for the long haul even if that is just pride & spite.

Mostly because they can exist without the other, they don't want to & are not used to not getting what they want. But they technically can.

NOTES:

Yes, this does somehow Audrey is on the more 'functional' side of things, but as said, that is mostly because her spouses here didn't delude themselves about her nature.

Gabriel knew her first as a harsh & cruel critic who respected his work as well as a business ally. Emilie knew her as someone who respected her skills as an actress first & foremost.

Andre meanwhile never realized that what he wanted from Audrey, the kind of 'need' for him, the praise & acknowledgement he wanted & perpetual presence he desired was just... Not in her.

He kind of wanted to do a "Taming the dragon" thing, she'd fall in love with him, stop/lessen the jet setting to spend time with him. Make him feel worthwhile by asking him to do things for her & play family when he wanted.

Meanwhile Audrey is critical to the point of cruel by default, demanding by nature, deeply independent & unaffectionate; only leaning on Andre due to laziness or disinterest, not actual need. They had a fling when she briefly thought more of him, but the honeymoon phase ended fast.

At least that's my take XD

All of these are fantastically toxic I'm both horrified and intrigued.

[atopvisenyashill]

For an AU, Robert has a legitimate firstborn daughter from a brief marriage before his parents died and he was betrothed to Lyanna Stark. She lives in Storm's End until Robert chucks her at Edmure Tully. They have one infant daughter together. 1) How does the King in the North situation go down if it does? 2) Stannis try to make his niece queen? 3)Renly (given he would be closest to her)? 4) How much harder does Tywin hit the Riverlands?

i don't think robb would declare himself king in the north in this scenario. i think the ending "crowning" scene would be them crowning this daughter. she would be young, 20 or less i imagine, and probably got shuffled off to edmure because she fights constantly with Cersei. I imagine Cersei's ymbq paranoia starts acting up around this girl, and the girl herself probably hates Cersei the way Sansa and Margaery do, so getting shuffld off to Edmure would be a happy fate in her eyes - Riverrun is gorgeous, Edmure isn't old and ugly, she gets to have a marriage befitting a princess. Robb mostly gets crowned because Stannis is nowhere to be found and the North is sick of getting fucked over by Southron politics, so if they have an heir Right There Waiting in this girl, proof that she's fertile because she's already had one healthy child, and she has a strong husband they all seem to like in Edmure, I can absolutely see the northern lords being happy with crowning her.

i do think stannis might try to make her queen over himself. he clearly believes that naturally shireen comes before renly in the line of succession because he makes it a point to offer jumping over shireen in the line of succession. however, this is a massive change in how stannis would approach everything - he can't just hide out at dragonstone, he needs to contact robert's daughter, which involves contacting the tullys, and by extension contacting ned. at the same time, stannis sees rhaenyra s an usurper so i do wonder if he would see this daughter as an usurper of himself when he has melisandre whispering in his ear. IF he decides to go with crowning her, however, i do wonder if stannis perhaps casts himself as her Hand, her Aemon the Dragonknight, her Septon Barth - a sort of legendary leader to protect her. Oof, idk tbh but either Stannis starts looking just soooo fucking bad by naming Shireen as his heir while actively fighting a female claimant with a better claim than he has, OR he has to somehow work with the North and Riverlands...

RENLY imo, would for sure 100% crown his niece. I think like you said, they would be closest because they'd be about the same age - I think it's not unlikely he suggested she marry Willas but Robert shot it down for Edmure - and Renly is not "above" so to speak crowning a woman; he had wanted in the first place to have Margaery seduce Robert so Robert could have true born heirs, after all, so Renly isn't interested in being king so much as he's interested in continuing to be close to power. If he's already fairly close to his niece, than I think what he does is have the Tyrell forces join up with the Riverlands and the North, likely either pushing for his niece's daughter to marry like, Garlan's eventual child or a Tyrell cousin (maybe straight up marrying her himself? it's a huge age gap but it's not the worst age gap we've ever seen) to solidify that alliance. This is honestly a win for the North because if Renly and the Tyrells are on their side off the bat (because of the Edmure-Baratheon tie) they are looking a lot better at the outset of the war.

BUT HERE COMES TYWINNNNNN. Because YEAH he is fucking the riverlands UP so even if robb looks better at the beginning of the war, tywin is hitting HARD, tywin isn’t underestimating robb, tywin is going scorched earth right off the bat. the riverlands is like mad max world, it’s insane and bloody and fucked up.

[azure7539arts]

Do you ever think about how Li Susu was always supposed to be Tantai Jin's Hou Yi, the one to shoot him down? That everything was already set up all the way from their lives as Sang Jiu and Ming Ye?

Like, I'm pretty sure a lot of people have heard of the story of Hou Yi shooting down nine suns, leaving behind the singular remaining one in the sky. But there's a slightly different iteration to that tale.

According to Classic of Mountains and Seas (山海经), off in the Eastern Sea, there was a divine tree Fu Sang where ten three-legged crows perched. These crows were children of the Eastern Sky God, Di Jun, and every day, each one of them would take turn flying over the sky, and the light that shone from them represented the sun. One day, disobeying their father, all ten crows flew out to play, and their combined light scorched through the earth, leaving a catastrophe in their wake. In an attempt to punish them, Di Jun bestowed upon Hou Yi, known for his skills in archery, a red bow and white arrows so Hou Yi could go and teach his children a lesson. However, these crows refused to listen and dismissed Hou Yi's words, and in a fit of anger, Hou Yi drew his bow and shot down nine crows, sparing just the one that is the Sun everyone sees today.

So yeah.

The three-legged crow being Jing Kingdom's royal totem; Tantai Jin prominently using crows more so than anything else in the show; nine white soul-slaying arrows spikes anyone? :,)

Also, guess who had a red bow, and who else came from the East (Eastern Sea) and also used a bow as a gift?

Miscellaneous:

That last three-legged crow, in some instances, was later known as the Vermilion Bird (朱雀). According to some sources, in Classic of Mountains and Seas, the Vermilion Bird was also referred to as the Mysterious Bird/Black Bird (玄鸟), which is the name to one of the main theme songs of the show.

In the aftermath of that tale, upset by Hou Yi's action, Di Jun exiled both Hou Yi and his wife Heng'e (or Chang'e) from the Heavenly Realm to live as humans in the Mortal Realm. Heng'e is the Goddess of the Moon, and Tantai Jin is also associated with the moon. (Once again, I would like to repeat that Tantai Jin is literally Li Susu's wife.)

The name of divine tree Fu Sang (扶桑) shares the same 'Sang' as the one in Sang Jiu's name: 桑酒. Fu Sang is said to be a tree of life that grows somewhere in the Eastern Sea where the sun rises (flashbacks to Tantai Jin's developing love thread always being depicted as a tree growing out from under a seabed.)

Personal rambling:

It is said that, sometimes, the Phoenix and the Vermilion Bird are mistaken for one another because they both have red feathers and are engulfed in flames. There are also debates about which one of these mythical birds is the superior one, but going off on depictions in the show alone, the Phoenix once belonged in the original line up of the twelve Gods in Shangqing Realm, so the hierarchy is already set there. And idk, it's just another factor that ultimately serves the angle of "she's my better half" from Tantai Jin, because I don't doubt that this will always be his thought process when it comes to Li Susu.

Another thing about people sometimes mixing up the Phoenix and the Vermilion Bird is that it makes me think about the saying of how people in an intimate relationship will eventually start to resemble one another. And also how Tantai Jin did his best to mold the image of Cang Jiumin into what he thought would best fit what Susu must've had in mind for him when she'd switched his Evil Bone for her Immortal Marrow. Because while, yes, it was his own wish to become a better person for her, it was a decision that was deeply rooted in her own wish for him as well.

To that end, Tantai Jin is the mirror that reflects what Li Susu thinks about him. In her life as Ye Xiwu, Li Susu was never able to put down her prejudices against him and the trauma that she had had to go through because of him as the Devil God, so her thoughts about him tended to always go for the worst first and foremost whenever she thought he'd done something bad, and Tantai Jin reflected this. When they spent their time later on as Li Susu and Cang Jiumin together, no matter how short-lived this was, she finally was able to put genuine trust in him and his capacity for goodness, and so he reflected this as well. Like how moonlight is actually the Moon reflecting back the light it's receiving from the Sun, Tantai Jin was also able to burn so brightly toward the end because of Susu, you know? :,)

[wraithsoutlaws]

brain chose violence last night

i was having very sadboy thoughts last night about dagger and dum dum's future because they get their happy ending and leave nc together and settle in nevada where they live (mostly) peaceful yet chaotic lives running a horror circus and they're allowed to get old and spend every day together and its lovely but what happens when one of them. dies :) and i think if dum dum died first, dagger would undoubtedly charge headfirst into the nearest gang land and start a firefight to die in combat like he always wanted back when he was young and had nothing to lose and zero fear because it's easier than being Alone and Sad but ofc dum dum KNOWS thats his plan and one night under the stars half drunk they talk about it and he tells dagger very explicitly that he can't do that. if something happened he can't just go off in a warzone and end in a hail of bullets anymore because al exists and al lost everything once before and she needs dagger so he better not bitch out like that. (i also hc that dum dum grew up an orphan in nc without family so it's something he's a bit soft for and he takes it very seriously)

and dagger doesn't want to talk about this because his main coping mechanism after all these years is basically still avoidance and he gets pissy and they drop it and he doesn't have to think about it again anymore until something does happen and he's alone and he all he wants to do is go scorched earth because it's too much! it's too much not to have his best friend and soulmate and it was never supposed to be like that anyway he was supposed to die a long time ago with blood in his mouth and no attachments and that was always good enough but somewhere along the way that changed and he didn't even really notice it. and now there's al.

so he doesn't do anything except sit at the grave with all his stupid feelings smoking cigarettes and sometimes yelling at dum dum because it's his fault it all hurts so much and he's angry and after a while he lets himself be sad and sometimes he's there all day and al will come out and bring him something to eat and sit with him in the quiet just so he has some company and he gets to remember why he's still here and its hard but he knows they both need it

well it's a good thing none of that has to exist :) but it's a bittersweet thought. i just love the idea of these two violent gangers who spent their lives killing anyone in their way growing old peacefully together and finding out what their happiness is and actually just enjoying the day to day life of it all. and i get to rotate them in that silly little paradise forever without canonizing anyone's death UwU (but what if...)

[storiesofthenight]

@jacaeryse plotted starter.

Days had passed since Aemond had arrived at Dragonstone on the back of a dragon. It was one of the first things he remembered. He knew his name, because he’d been told what it was, but not because he recalled it. Aemond, Aemond Targaryen they’d called him. Who they were, well … he’d found out only because others had called them by their name. Daemon, Rhaenys, Rhaenyra … Each of them with the same pale hair as he, and purple eyes. He’d been wondering if they were family, but he really had no idea.

All that he did know was that he had woken up in the middle of a battlefield, the earth scorched and bodies all around. A little further ahead, had been a dragon. Big, magnificent, beautiful. And she’d been dead. How she died, or why he felt sad about it, he didn’t know. How he’d ended up unconscious, his body feeling bruised and his head spinning, no memories from before waking, that he also didn’t know.

He'd been taken prisoner by Daemon and Rhaenys, who had approached him after getting of their dragons while he was still trying to figure out who he was, where he was and why he was there to begin with. Daemon had drawn his sword and pointed it at him, the tip at his neck ready to pierce in case of any unexpected movement. Unaware of who they were, he had been taken by the sheer power and danger radiating from them. The look in their eyes, as if the sword wasn’t enough to go by, enough to tell him that whoever he was, he was their enemy.

He’d been hauled onto the Daemon’s dragon, Caraxes, after his hands had been bound and while he probably should’ve been terrified, Aemond found himself simply wondering where they’d be taking him and why the feeling of being on a dragon felt so familiar that it’d made him wonder if the dead dragon he’d seen at the battlefield had been his’. He’d watched the dragon as they’d flown away, dread settling in his heart when she finally vanished from his view.

Conversations, he’d had little. Daemon had asked a few questions, but when he’d been unable to answer them, Rhaenys has suggested they take him to the Queen. Who that was, well … he knew now. He had been guided to Rhaenyra, as he’d come to know her, pushed onto his knees before her as she’d stared at him with a mix of shock and pure hatred. Why the shock, … maybe because she hadn’t expected him to ever be before her with that clueless look on his face. Honestly, he really couldn’t tell for sure. Nothing made sense, and other than the dragons, nothing felt familiar.

Having been send to a cell until further judgement, he had simply settled down, trying to recall anything from before he’d regained consciousness in the chaos of battle. Even now, days later, he was still trying to wreck his brain for something, anything … But try as he might, nothing came to him. So today, he had decided he would stop trying so hard to remember. All it’d done so far was give him headaches.

Sitting there on his own, Aemond pulled his knees up against his chest, he closed his eye and sighed deeply. His head resting against the wall against which he sat,  he found himself wondering when the Queen would reach her judgement. That was on his mind when he heard the sounds of footsteps outside and the bolt to his cell’s door being undone. Having assumed it was just the daily ration of food, he hadn’t moved, but someone stepping into the cell had caused him to slowly open his eye and turn to look at the visitor.

It wasn’t anyone he’d seen before. It was a young man, with dark hair and eyes, but Aemond felt there was something about him that reminded him of Rhaenyra. And it was not just the way he held himself. Watching the young man for a few moments, Aemond let out a soft sigh before speaking up. “Have they decided what to do with me?” He asked, tilting his head a little as he observed the stranger more closely. The worst was, he didn’t even know if he really was a stranger or not, for all he knew they might have met before.

[salubriousbean]

OHH MY GOSH THAT FINALE

IT MADE ME FEEL SO MANY THINGS !!!!!

(Spoilers below the cut)(very disorganized because I spewed this all out and then immediately went to bed bc it's late)

OKAY FIRST OFF THE MUSIC????!!!?!?!?!?!? LIKE HELLO THATS AMAZING I CANT WAIT FOR THE SOUNDTRACK TO BE RELEASED! LIKE AT THE BEGINNING THE MUSIC AND OHH MY GOSH THE E N D WITH OMEGA'S THEME?!!! WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE IT

AND ADULT OMEGA??!!!!!!!!!!! WITH THE REBELLION??!!! Okay but seriously her outfit tho like I desperately want that jacket, and her hair is so cute! And Hunter's bandana! AND GONKY! AND LULA! AND TECH'S GOGGLES! Oh you can bet imma be drawing a lot of omega over the next few months (or at least trying to every so often)

Okay anyways let's rewind a bit (these are all out of order) BUT LIKE CROSS'S HAND?? THAT CX WAS RUTHLESS OHMYGOSHH

AND THEN YES THE DRAMATIC BRIDGE SCENE IN THE RAIN!!! RIP Scorch but like DANG HEMLOCK GOT RIDDLED (he deserved it)

AND JT WAS SO FUNNY WHEN OMEGA JUST STABBED HIM LIKE BAHAHHA

Though, I did wonder why she didn't just make herself dead weight instead of running with Hemlock to the bridge. It would have slowed him down a lot more but maybe Scorch wouldn't let her (or I just didn't see, I know I missed some details).

SPEAKING OF DETAILS I MISSED, EVA TIED THE PRISON-LULA TO HER BACK??? Thanks for filling in the gaps tumblr lol

Also, I wonder how they made the Zillo's screeching bc I swear that was on another level like what the heeeck

Also I'm sad we didn't get to find out who CX-2 was, or if it was just another random clone (whoever he was he was kickbutt tho). And ngl the whole time Echo was talking to the prisoners (!!dramatic clone speech!! Like fives's speeches!!) I was peering for any sign of Dogma's tattoo

Also Hemlock, isn't that gas like a war crime or something? And the prisoner torture thing? I haven't read much of the Geneva Conventions but I'm pretty sure that's against international laws (well at least on Earth, you'd hope in the galaxy far far away as well)

ALSO!! THE C H I L D R E N !!!!! THEY'RE ADORAVLE AND I LOVE THEM SO MHCH AND I LOVE SEEJNG THEM AND THE CLONES ALL HAPPY ON PABU AND EATING SPACE ICE CREAM though Eva, Jax, Sami,Bayrn, and the other prisoners need new clothes lol

ALSO YES EMERIE I LOVE HER CHARACTER AND CHARACTER ARC ITS SO GOOD AND SHES AAAAHHH "You have my word" or something like that THE MANDO INSTINCTS KICKING IN

And I love her convo with Echo, about being free

AND THE SCENE UNDER THE TREE??*CHEFS KISS* BEAUTIFUL 10/10

That reminds me, the line "Clone Force 99 died with Tech" is so sad 😢

Gosh the voice acting is so good dsfjavlkakgsslsdgldgksdltdys

Also (sorry I'm using that word a lot lol) I totally though older Omega was Phee when she was going into the cave for some reason or like Phee with a different hairstyle BUT I LOVE OMEGA SO MUCH SHES SO STRONG AND UMM I ALREADY WANT HER ADVENTURES IN THE REBELLION

I'm so glad none of the batch died in that attack (but also their accelerated aging makes me so sad). Also I love how Hunter offers their help to Omega even though they're not in the physical condition they used to be. He's so loyal, they're all so loyal to each other. That's not a weakness (glares at Hemlock). I love the loyalty of the clones, built in shared experiences and trials.

Okay my typings getting worse so I'll maybe return tomorrow with more thoughts

[docholligay]

Great Circle by Maggie Shipstead

Thank you to @skylineofspace for sponsoring this!

“Marian was real, obviously, but people’s lives don’t get preserved like fossils. The best you can hope for is that time will have hardened around someone’s memory, preserving a void in their shape.” --Great Circle, pg 291

I loved this book. I loved this book so much that a review of it never got written because I felt like anything I had to say about it had to be more involved than anything I had time to offer, and even now I sit here so afraid that I can’t convey what this book gave to me. I think this might be the best book I read this year. I want everyone to read this (and am, in fact, sending this to @rosepetalrevolution as soon as I finish this review) 

In a non-spoilery way, I would say that this book is about what it takes to make a legend, a hero, a symbol, and the conseqeunces therein.  Single-minded drive is the furnace that drives the train forward, but things must be sacrificed to its firebox. Can a runaway train ever be stopped? Do we, the holders of history, actually want it to be? What relationship to the person does the legend have? There are other things that it can be about, but I would say that is the one overarching idea. 

SPOILERS BELOW

Again, I fucking loved this book. I was in love with this book from the first 50 pages. I was so afraid that throughout the whole thing, is was going to drop the ball massively, and I don’t ever feel that it did. I loved Marian, she angered me, I felt a kinship with her and that kinship made me all the angrier. 

This line: “It wasn’t that Marian didn’t miss Ruth. Rather, she took her missing and sealed it away. Her natural inclination was to carry on, to think of other things.” This is such a Montana way of thinking about things--my grandmother started selling my grandfather’s things before his funeral, even, not because she DIDN’T love him, but because she DID--and I felt it so keenly and deeply, and it is her strength, and her weakness. One of the things I love about the book is that Marian goes through a great deal of trial but it doesn’t break her. If anything, it makes her spine more iron. BUT the stiffer she gets, the harder it is for her to bend for the love of anyone. “The uninhabited ring of space she’d cultivated around herself begins to feel less like a protective barrier than scorched earth.” 

Even Caleb, who knows her heart and manages to keep himself tethered to her the way a ship is to its anchor, bobbing and floating with the tides, in touch even out of sight, a flexible line barely seen inthe water between them, knows that Marian can no longer be anywhere. In response to her saying she envies is ability to stay put and be content, he says: “No, you don’t. If you did, you’d find that place, too. You don’t even let the possibility in.” And he’s right. The person Marian Graves has become has hardened herself so much she is almost a statue, because she has the unhappy reality of having become a legend even before she’s died. She’s a runaway train, now, and there’s no going back, and she must become this beautiful symbol of struggle and womahood and courage. Where would there be room to be simply Marian, stubborn and frustrating and lonely and sad? She has die. There is no other choice she can make, but to die in the attempt. I think even to have completed it would have broken her, in the end, because there would be no more worlds to conquer. Nowhere to go but down, plummeting like a gannet into the sea. 

Which is why when i first read this, I did not like that she lived. I understood all the narrative reasons that she had to die, the beauty and the tragedy of it, that once one has committed to becoming a story, one can no longer be a person. That to become Noted Aviator Marian Graves, Marian Graves, orphan, of Missoula, Montana, had to die. It actually only took a few days of distance for me to change my position on that front. Rereading it, i absolutely think the survival is the correct ending, especially the way it’s done, because Noted Aviator Marian Graves DOES die. The book even says she dies twice, she dies and she is reborn to live again as a sheepherder, in peace and in ease. Even when she has money, she simply becomes Alice Root, because she finally does have roots, because she has gone down the rabbit hole. I came to respect it as the perfect end. Peace is possible, yes, if you let go of the glory. And letting go of the glory may be as difficult as letting go of the runaway train, and falling to the river below. 

I realize only now that I’ve said nothing about Barclay, in all the things I’ve had to say about Marian. Barclay is a man who is a means to an end and can’t realize it. He is a pawn of god who thinks himself God, and he is pathetic for it. You hate him, and he is made to be hated, but you can almost feel how much he longs to be powerful and how Marian is this wild horse he tinks can be broken and tamed, but if she could be, he wouldn’t want her anymore. I think it says something about the power of Marian as a character that Barclay can only be asked to fade. But for him, she never would have flown, and but for flying, he might have had her, and so the trap he set for her caught his own leg instead. He wants to be so much, but he is just one of a line of people who wanted to love Marian into stillness, but cannot; not him with force; not Ruth with her brightness, not Jamie with his softness, not even Caleb, though he manages the closest by recognizing her for the feral cat she is. Barclay is only one of a line. 

I love so much Jamie’s struggle with Sarah, with Marian, with the idea of authenticity, and what can be seen through art. How the truth can be bent through humanity and somehow the arc, the great circle if you will, can be made whole again through reinterpreting the beauty but also the fear and pain through art. The way he loves women who do not see their lives as natural progressions of the choices they’ve made. The way he cannot bear women who not see their lives as natural progressions of the choices they’ve made. I think all the time about that last confrontation with Sarah: 

“He saw how she was warmed by her sense of her own goodness. Was he, in the same way, seduced by an idea of his own virtue? How could anyone see clearly through the innate haze of self-righteousness?” 

How indeed! I think this is the struggle for all of us, that we, naturally, struggle not to see ourselves as heroes, struggle to see the places where we make excuses, but instead of shrugging that off, Jamie recognizes where he has been made a victim of people who think the way they want to do things is the right way to do them by virtue of them wanting it. And in the moment he worries he might become that, he leaves. He is given the resolution he desires, and I would argue that the resolution isn’t the disappointment of Sarah, but the revealing of his own seduction to becoming her. That is the fear, that he might lose that discernment, that discernment that allows him to be the artist he is. It would be a more comfortable life but a less fulfilling one. Jamie IS his convictions, and I find that extremely compelling as a character idea. 

The Hadley portions of the book. What do I think this has to say about the whole story, and why does it exist? It’s tough to say for sure, I think. It is most definitely not the strongest part of this story. The obvious answer is that of course she is the framing device that allows us to reveal Marian’s survival as a surprise to us. Not in a vague foreshadowing kind of sense that she’ll die, but we are told over and over again that she had that tragic death, that she was the that beautiful and brilliant and brief firework, always doomed to this, and that it is part of the beauty of her story. People who live, and grow old, can become disappointing, they can have bad opinions, and their fire can dim to an ember. But those who die young? Who die brave? They get to be at the peak, and conversations about them are enrobed with their gloss and glitter. Hadley is the frame that allows us to see the whole picture. 

I do think the Hadley stuff is, on balance, pretty weak. It lacks the vitality and struggle of Marian’s chapters--every time I came across them, I mostly waited for them to be over. And maybe some  of this was the point of them. Hadley’s problems are pretty vapid and shallow compared to Marian’s despite having some modern-day semblance of an echo to Marian’s. But she can’t be Marian. There are no Marians here, in 2014, there are only fading movie posters from Not!Twilight or Not!Hunger Games (I don’t remember which and please trust me when i say it’s unimportant) and a vague sense that this movie might be her great trek across the world, the thing that makes it matter, but the stakes will never be high enough for her to become anything from it, and she cannot disappear into the sea and rise fresh, and maybe that’s Hadley’s tragedy. That she can’t choose to die like Noted Aviator Marian Graves. 

The descriptions and prose in this book are lush and delicious. There will be plenty of people who comment that this book is far too long, and I know the current thinking is anything over 300 pages needs to be edited down, but I refuse to accept that as being true while people are reading trilogies that are actually the whole story, inflated from 500 pages to 900 to justify their existence. Why, to inflate people’s book count and give them a feeling of accomplishment? Nah, we don’t live that way here. Great Circle has its moments of indulgence to be sure, but the language of it is so glorious that it feels like eating a bit too much fine chocolate: sweet and thick and rich, and even if its a bit much, it can be forgiven for all the pleasure you derive from it. I think of little bits like “felt like swallowing a sparkler” or 

The character work sets this book apart from others. The main characters, of course, are laden with idiosyncrasies and hypocrises and all the little things that make us human, delivered in such a loving fashion that as quick as you are to be angry with them, to yell at them, you see the truth of them. You feel the wholeness of them, and you are forced to, if not forgive them, square with the fullness of who they are. But more than that, i think of the very much side character Jackie Cochran, and how we get a backstory of her in ten pages that tells more of her nature than any number of lesser written three hundred page novels. Not only do you get the sense of what Jackie does, but what it says about her, and what it means. It’s in moments like this that I really appreciated the intense craft that Shipstead brings to the table. 

There is still so much to say about this novel, and if I were with all the time in the world, it would be interesting to do little thousand word jots every fifty pages, a la the way I’m doing Fata Morgana. But, as the book says, ‘Endlessness is torture, too” and so this will have to suffice, this and the absolute recommendation to read this book. It has such a sense of longing throughout, and of the weight of that stone that builds a legend. There is only one book I’ve read this year that would come into any serious contention for the best book I’ve read this year, and this would beat it soundly if the tiebreaker were which one I enjoyed reading more. Please read it.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I've asked so many things today I hope I'm not bothering you, but one more! (Twas my bday yestersay. Treat myself!)

Do you think Kakashi had supportive, loving family when he was a mortal in GOS? I kept pictuing a couple simular to ones in the Hercules Disney movie. People who tried for a child for years, maybe decades, and were finally blessed with him as their baby.

You mentioned there were plenty of off things about him. Like needing the feel of water on his face or always staying away from the river. Do you think his parents helped support him through all of it. Like maybe when they watered the crops, they always made sure, even in a 30 year drought, to sprinkle some over Kakashi as they worked on the fields. Or he would have intense dreams of thunder, or maybe a terrifying battle where he got so hurt- and when distressed, they would always bundle him up as a child and read him a new book until he calmed down.

Just Kakashi with absolutely, loving, adoring, devoted parents that Sakumo may even come to meet once he finds his son, and seeing their love for him is another reason he is so adamant that Kakashi deserves to live this beautiful life!

Also was Kakashi born cis, or trans? Just love the idea of hin being born how he wanted, but equally love the idea of sassy toddler Kakashi being all "I WANNA BE A BOY!" And the family taking a trip to see the Iruka library/ shrine/ school and saying "see that Kakashi? That god wanted to be a boy too and absolutely was one! So of course you're a boy if that's what you want!"

Just...loving, beautiful, supportive mortal parents who wanted the best for their son, who decided to name him Kakashi because on the night he was conceived, they swear they saw one of the biggest bolts of lightning scorch the farm! It destroyed one of their wheat towers!!! Perhaps he was a gift to them ;w;

(Also known as where Kakashi hit the earth when he "died")

Oh yes! I love the idea of Kakashi having loving, sweet parents who wanted him so badly and feel blessed to have him.

A mother who playfully water’s his head one day when he’s a baby (just a light bit of water) and watches him light up with joy. He smiles so big she can’t help but do it again, and that’s how the tradition ‘water my plants and my son’ began.

A father who is pulled into Kakashi’s bedroom ever night before bed and handed ten diffrent books Kakashi wants to read before he will happily fall asleep.

Adult Kakashi taking care of all the work on the farm because his parents are aging and have done a lot of damage to their bodies over the years.

Parents who watch their son fall in love with that eccentric, happy go lucky boy and start planning the wedding because they know it’s coming.

Sakumo watching as his son cooks dinner for his parents and they exude such love and warmth for the son that he lost. Hearing their whispered thanks to the god for the son they were finally gifted with.

His mortal father teaching him how to climb because he see’s Kakashi wanting to climb as high as he can and he’d rather see him do it safely.

They stand at the front of the wedding when Kakashi and Gai finally marry and gift Kakashi the home they raised him in, although they still have to build their own home. Kakashi and Gai surprise them by building another home on the land, big enough for two and very comfortable, where they can live happily for the rest of their lives.

I’d say Kakashi is still born trans and gets to choose his gender and tell his parents who he is, and he really loves the fables of the god of storms and his transition from female to male.

Kakashi’s parents joking sometimes that Kakashi is the god of storms incarnate, but they never actually mean it. They just find it so fitting that their son would have a birthmark over his left eye, and although they’re sad to find out he’s blind in that eye they’re happy that he is healthy in every other way.