#and not because I was listening to the audiobook it was just that vivid and well built up

[talesfromthebandgeekmafia]

Why is the Discworld: City Watch series so fucking good holy shit

[loveothislife]

You’ll be in tears by the end of André Aciman’s 2007 novel Call Me By Your Name. Turning that last page feels like being rudely cast out of the love story between Elio and Oliver, two men who must be together, who have to be together, because, in the words of Faith Evans, “I never knew there was a love like this before.” But if you’re going to be heartbroken, at least let it be via Call Me By Your Name’s audiobook, read gorgeously by the upcoming film adaptation’s star, Armie Hammer, whose voice is the audio equivalent of ordering a Lyft Line and having it all to yourself.

In this new excerpt from the audiobook, out October 3, teenage Elio (played in the film by Timothée Chalamet) describes having sex for the very first time with Oliver (Hammer), the 24-year-old graduate student studying under his father for the summer. Elio’s had a crush on Oliver for weeks, and in this scene, we finally learn the significance of the book’s title. In this excerpt (and at all times), Hammer’s voice is brimming with such melody that, if you listen to it long enough, you can probably get drunk off it. Because you’ll need a way to explain to your friends why you have to cancel on your plans because you have a date with Armie Hammer’s voice, here are 20 descriptions of that supernatural sound:

1. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds a little like Jon Hamm’s voice, if Jon Hamm’s voice was dunked in honey.

2. Hearing Armie Hammer say “fuck” in the Call Me By Your Name audiobook makes it totally fine that he had to say “Let’s gut the friggin’ nerd” in The Social Network, because, you know what, some things are just worth the wait.

3. To hear Armie Hammer say “languorous” is to feel like Obama is still president, he’s just taking a vacation, but he and Michelle will be back in the White House soon.

4. Armie Hammer’s voice is the physical manifestation of those wooden decorative signs at Marshall’s or TJ Maxx that sell for $24.99 that say “Your Husband Called And Said It’s Ok To Buy Anything You Want.” Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like the fantasy of luxury.

5. Sometimes, when Armie Hammer is in the heat of a particularly vivid description, Armie Hammer’s voice sounds a little like the man who does the Men’s Wearhouse commercials. You know, the guy who says, “You’re going to like the way you look,” and now you kinda want to Google the nearest Men’s Wearhouse. You know, just in case.

6. I suspect that Armie Hammer’s voice would smell like linguini, seasoned with Tasmanian pepper and lemon with Parmesan cheese on top. I’d need to speak with Armie Hammer in person to confirm this. 7. You know when you’re a regular somewhere? And there’s a long line, but, say, the barista or the clerk or the tailor motions you around the long line because they’ve got your order ready? That’s what Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like.

8. Armie Hammer’s voice is so deep and viscous it sounds like when Beyoncé performs “Love on Top” live and she sings the chorus again and again and again and again, but that last time she sings “Baby it’s you,” she switches it up and goes to a lower key!

9. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like it’s soaked in maple syrup and — surprise! — you’re at Bubby’s, and there’s no line, and lucky for you, your James Beard pancakes with peaches have just arrived to your table.

10. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds as euphonious as Oprah’s voice, which is quite possibly the highest compliment you could ever pay another human.

11. The way Armie Hammer says “kiss” feels like you have literally been kissed, not by his lips, but by the sun itself. You took a picture of this sun-kissing, posted it to Instagram, and you’ve gotten a lot of likes.

12. The way Armie Hammer says, “Call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine,” feels like a shared secret too tender for this savage and cacophonous place called the internet, but here we are.

13. Armie Hammer’s voice feels like when you’ve decided to take a nap, but to hell with setting an alarm! You’ll wake up when you wake up, and everyone texting you will have to deal with it!

14. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like when the violins come in on Nelly’s “Grillz,” which is to say that it sounds like the ideal combination of highbrow and lowbrow.

15. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like the opposite of that swish-swish a nylon sweatsuit made in the ’80s, because Armie Hammer has never worn nylon, he exclusively wears corduroy or linen.

16. The timbre of Armie Hammer’s voice is identical to the timbre of the bells ringing on the last day of school, when you could dump the entire contents of your backpack into the dumpster right in front of the teacher who wouldn’t round your 89 percent up to an A-.

17. Armie Hammer sounds so sumptuous and moneyed, you might think you’ve paid off all of your student loans.

18. Armie Hammer’s voice inexplicably sounds like he’s both speaking to you and listening to you and deeply interested in every fleeting thought that pops into your head, even the ones about Mother!

19. Hearing Armie Hammer’s voice is like going to the salon and getting a really good shampoo, where they use a little bit of tea tree oil and massage your temples and then say it’s on the house.

20. There’s such melody in Armie Hammer’s voice that the devil has to work overtime to get a new Nickelback song in the world, just so everything stays in balance.

Vulture (September 21, 2017)

[disasterarea-podcast]

So given the writer’s strike, some people are concerned about their shows and movies being postponed or canceled, and aside from the fact networks have already BEEN canceling shows for no reason for years (I still maintain a healthy anger about what Netflix did to Sense8), I thought I would suggest some books on disasters you might want to read if you’re into that sort of history. Which you are if you’re here, I imagine.

Note: I’m suggesting these books because most books on disasters don’t get a huge audience, and so I recommend them because this sort of writing can be hard on the writer and requires a bunch of research. We throw so much money at true crime, we can spare a few bucks for the stories of people who died in disasters.

Also, please check with these with your local small bookstore or library. Amazon can be great, but let’s lend a hand to those who need us more.

Recommended books:

“The Circus Fire,” by Stewart O’Nan - This is one my favorite books on a disaster, because the whole thing creates a very vivid image of the circus prior to the fire in Hartford in July of 1944. There’s one specific line in the book which always makes me pause because it’s so affecting, about how everyone who escaped being able to hear the sounds of the animals screaming as they died - except all of the animals were out of the tent by then.

“The Only Plane in the Sky,” by Garrett Graff - This, I highly recommend you get on audiobook. It’s an oral history of the events of 9/11 with a full cast, and it’s incredibly affecting to listen to.

“Ada Blackjack: A True Story of Survival in the Arctic,” by Jennifer Niven - Ada Blackjack was a badass: flawed and weak at times, but hardy and steady when necessary. Half of her story is how she survived, but half is how she was exploited following her rescue. Both stories need to be known.

“Alive,” by Piers Paul Read - If you’re watching “Yellowjackets,” this should be required reading. If you’ve seen the movie adaptation from the 90s, there is WAY more you don’t know. The story of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 is a tough read, but a worthy one.

“A Night to Remember,” by Walter Lord - This is to disaster nonfiction what “In Cold Blood” is to true crime. It’s not a long read, but it’s a great one. Lord had the advantage of writing the book while many of the Titanic survivors were still alive and could give a very good description of what they went through.

“Dying to Cross,” by Jorge Ramos - I recommend this not just because it is good, but because it is timely. Nineteen people died in an un-air-conditioned truck as they were attempting to make their way into the states from over the Mexican border. It’s a horrific story, and one that humanizes an issue for whom some people need to be faced with the humans involved and what they go through.

“Bath Massacre: America’s First School Bombing,” by Arnie Bernstein - Harold Schecter also wrote a very good book on the Bath school massacre called “Maniac,” but I have a preference for this version. It’s a good reminder that schools in the U.S. didn’t just become targets in the last twenty years or so.

“Into Thin Air,” by Jon Krakauer - I feel like this is a gimme, but it’s a fantastic book from someone who was actually on Mount Everest during the 1996 disaster and knew those involved very well. I happen to like Krakauer’s work anyway - I even like “Into the Wild” despite my feelings about McCandless and his legacy - but it’s understandably my favorite.

“And the Band Played On,” by Randy Shilts - The one thing I will say is that Shilts’ treatment of Gaetan Dugas is *rough* to say the least and outright wrong on some points, God knows. But it’s still an amazing book, and if you come out of it not wanting to dig up Reagan and punch him a bunch I’m impressed at your restraint.

“Triangle: The Fire That Changed America,” by David von Drehle - The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire is one of the disasters I am most interested in, and I would argue this is the definitive book on the subject. Also, if this book introduces you to both Clara Lemlich and Frances Perkins … I mean, talk about badass women.

“The Radium Girls,” by Kate Moore - Look, I’ll say this. If you know of the Radium Girls, this is a great book on their story. If you don’t know, go in blind and prepared to be horrified.

“Red Famine: Stalin’s War on Ukraine,” by Anne Applebaum - Ukraine has always been a target. During the Holodomor, they were victims of one of the worst genocides in history.

“Midnight in Chernobyl,” by Adam Higginbotham - Like the miniseries? This is a great source for more information for what happened at Chernobyl and all of the ass-covering involved.

"Boston Strong: A City's Triumph Over Tragedy," by Casey Sherman and Dave Wedge - If you’re interested in the Boston marathon bombing, I really thought this book did a good job of connecting the stories of the victims, the authorities searching for the killers, and the killers themselves.

“Show Me the Bodies: How We Let Grenfell Tower,” by Peter Apps - As I understand it, Apps did a lot of covering the Grenfell Tower fire for the British press, and it shows. He provides a mountain of information, and you will come out of reading this book absolutely LIVID about what authorities allowed to happen in Grenfell and so many other council estates in the UK.

“Dark Tide: The Great Molasses Flood of 1919,” by Stephen Puleo - I feel as though the molasses flood gets treated like a joke a lot of the time, but y’all, twenty people died. That area of Boston was *wrecked*. The photos of the devastation are terrifying. Puleo treats all of this with the proper respect it deserves.

“In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex,” by Nathaniel Philbrick - Forget the movie. Read the book.

“The Great Influenza,” by John M. Barry - Want to read about the 1918 flu epidemic? Want to be mad that a hundred years later we didn’t learn a damn thing?

Now, that’s just a start. If anyone wants, I can always post photos of my disaster book collection on Kindle and next to my recording desk. Or if there’s a specific disaster you’re interested in, I may know of a good book about it you can read.

But just remember if SAG and the directors’ guild joins the strike too - there is so much out there to occupy your time until they come back. Entertainment work is work, and it deserves to be supported financially and fairly as such. Rock on, WGA. ✊

[leclerced]

landoscar having a relatively innocent and quiet gf who always has her airpods in, headphones on. when everyone asks what she’s listening to she says it’s a lecture or a podcast, when really it’s the nastiest shit you’ve ever heard. of course, no one really expects it, not even lando or oscar. but when they find out, lando is immediate compiling all her songs into a sex playlist and into a foreplay playlist. and as much as oscar loves it, he’s never going to let his girl down about it because she genuinely really had them fooled into thinking it was podcasts

thought i answered this omg im so sorry

i want to add smutty audiobooks to the list of things she listens to. because it's absolutely hilarious to imagine she's sitting in their garages during races listening to a book about some human getting lost in the woods and winding up in the fae and being a part of fae orgies. everyone thinks she's listening to like, a history podcast or something, but it's vivid descriptions of a woman being railed. lando taking her phone for spotify one day in the car and all her liked songs are sex songs, he can't find a single one that doesn't have to do with sex in some way. he's hitting shuffle and it's crazy bitch by buck cherry, he keeps skipping and it never ends. partition by beyonce. bad girlfriend by theory of a deadman, go to town by doja cat, comin in hot by hollywood undead, lsd by asap rocky, casual sex by my darkest days.

lando looking back at her in the back seat wondering how they didn't know she listened to that kind of music. he swears he's taken one of her headphones and it was taylor swift playing? had she been changing her music when they approached? oscar's driving because he gets car sick when lando drives, and he asks why he keeps skipping the songs. lando's just like "i'm trying to find one that isn't about sex. we're going on a road trip, but these are all... sex songs." she's just like "not all of them! i think uhhh that one song you like is in there? the one about dancing in the rain?"

[jadejedi]

Fantasy Book Review: A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland

JJ's rating: 5/5

How feral did it make me: 5/5

My book reviews

I’ve been reading (or listening) to a lot more books this year than normal, and I have realized that I need an outlet to talk about them. I considered making a goodreads account, but hey I already have this! So I will be reviewing the books I’ve read this year, and depending on how long it takes me, I might just start reviewing all my favorite reads. I'm probably going to add links to my blog to make them easier to find.

Let’s get into it. This book is so good. SO GOOD. I listened to it on audiobook, which normally means while I’m at work, driving, or at home doing chores, but I literally listened to the last 2 hours of this book at home doing absolutely nothing, just on the edge of my damn seat! 

Here’s a quick summary: the very anxious Prince Kadou accidentally causes a serious incident that leaves multiple of his personal guards dead or injured. In the aftermath, he is assigned a new guard by the sultan who is known for being an uptight rule follower. As their personalities clash, they have to solve a mystery and learn to work together…

I want to preface this review by saying that this is definitely a romance novel with a fantasy setting. The world building, especially for the main country this novel takes place in, is great and extremely vivid without unnecessary info dumps. The main plot of the story is perfectly serviceable, if a tad predictable, but it 1000% does what it needs to do for the romance. 

But, the romance. THE ROMANCE. This book was advertised as an “enemies to lovers slow burn romance” and it 100% delivers on both. Now, when some people think “enemies to lovers” or (even better imo) “enemies to friends to lovers”, they imagine that at least one of the parties involved is a horrible villain and the relationship is probably abusive in some way. I’m sure there are plenty of books out there where that is absolutely the case, but Rowland gets what makes that trope so good. It’s about two characters who are both good people, but initially clash. It’s the mutual hatred born out of a fundamental misunderstanding of the other’s character, it’s the eventual begrudging respect, it’s THE YEARNING. THE PINING. 

Both of these characters are so wonderful. We get both POV’s throughout: Kadou’s anxious desire to do what’s best for his country and not fuck anything up, and Evemere’s steadfast, noble determination to understand what makes the prince the way he is. 

I don’t want to give too much more away, but this book is filled with ALL the delightful romance tropes you could ever desire. 

Can we talk about pacing?? Pacing is so, so important, especially when writing a slow burn romance, and this author GETS. IT. Sometimes if the romance is resolved too early, all the tension goes out of the story, because if it’s a romance novel, we’re here for the romance, not the plot. But in this story the whole novel is centered around the romance, and the pacing just works so, so well. 

Also, the way that queerness is written into this story is wonderful. Third gender pronouns abound and  same sex attraction is fully accepted, and it’s really refreshing. Also, there are multiple female characters who play significant roles in the story who are fleshed out characters, which I feel is sometimes lacking in M/M romances. 

I have not been able to stop thinking about this book since I finished it like four days ago. I listened to the audio book, which had an excellent narrator, but have also ordered the paperback with my favorite version of the cover. Please, do yourself the favor and read this one. Also, if you do read it, the author published a 10,000 word fanfic epilogue on AO3. It’s called What spring does with the cherry trees, and it’s a goddamn delight. 

[panelshowsource]

could you make a post about all the books from comedians you own/have ordered and which are your favorites I want to buy all of them but don't know where to start ++++++++ would love to know if you know of a way to order a signed copy of David's book if I don't live in the UK

you know, in a stroke of what may be relevant information, i'm actually an editorial director by day and even used to be a literary agent here in nyc — none of which is obvious on account of my billion rushed typos and...just...general existence :) (i promise i'm supremely carefully handed in my editing!!! and have a lot of resources, at my job hahahahaha oh god maybe i shouldn't have mentioned this!!!) — but i'm really no book critic and have no idea how my tastes stack up against what a lot of you are looking for. i'm happy to share some of my general, poorly articulated internet thoughts but it may be more worth checking out goodreads or talking with others who have more experience with autobiographies (which a majority of these types of books are)!

to begin with a disclaimer, one of my friends texted me recently, "why do you only watch sad movies?" i love sad films, sad music, i love to cry, catharsis, sentimentality which is always a little self-indulgent. it's a bit ironic, because this is a comedy blog and you guys know me as someone who loves to find things to laugh about and i fill my life with so much silliness through his huge, life-long hobby, but, all the same, that is only one side of me, i guess. i'm saying this now because you're about to hear me talk briefly about a few somewhat-to-incredibly sad books and be like "oh i didn't know this what i was getting into" 😅

books i do recommend:

just ignore him by alan davies — this isn't a book review but i am self-conscious about just how i describe this book, because it's so sensitive and i carry a lot of respect for alan. at the time of publication, alan actually didn't want any of the press to know and/or discuss the most tragic elements of the book, so readers wouldn't be influenced in any direction before confronting it themselves. (it's okay to talk about now of course, and anyone should know there are major trigger warnings for death, child abuse, sexual abuse, and pedophilia.) it is a sad book about his earliest years: the complexities and nuances of male power and manipulation, of unimaginable loneliness, of a lost child. alan said it wasn't cathartic to write—that is was indeed very painful—but the vulnerability, the commitment to shirking himself of the painful silence he endured for most of his life, is exceptionally moving. alan's writing can be quite thorough, even flowery, in creating vivid places and images, so so much of the heaviness feels piercing and even disturbing. if you read other comedians' books, a decent majority of them are written in the style of standup or, say, a ted talk — with performance in mind, specific structures and beats that mimic how they'd tell these stories on stage. i would argue this is quite different to that, that while the writing is in a style and structure that benefits being read aloud this is a very different alan to alan the performer. and, very honestly, i'm really not an audiobook person, not to mention listening is a wholly different experience to reading — but the audiobook for this is phenomenal: alan narrates and, while of course it's his story so he'll tell it best, he is a very gentle, thoughtful storyteller. this will be you by chapter 4:

moab is my washpot + fry chronicles by stephen fry — the first and second of his three autobiographies covering some of the most sensational times (stephen is willing to admit) of his childhood and teen years + his rise to fame through the cambridge footlights. these are good reads for 1) stephen fry fans duh and 2) people who can enjoy the inspiration of auden, waugh, wilde, wodehouse, quintessential english writers who inform the foundation of stephen's relationship with literature and appreciation. stephen is painfully honest — and often sorry for it, apologising for what he perceives to be his shortcomings — and you can't help but feel, even early on in the first book, that his view of his own world is somehow even more subjective than everyone else's views of their own worlds. maybe it's because he's so judgmental, maybe it's his oscillating mental health, maybe it's the shocking thrust with which he was confronted with the wideness of the world...i'm not sure, but stephen's life through stephen's eyes is so very stephen-y. i think that's why we love him‚ though i can see some people loathing the less admirable sides of him, which he does show, so don't read this if you want to maintain some image of him that helps you cope or keeps you perfectly entertained. if you're not british, the fry chronicles is an especially good read to scratch some of your anglophilic interests (lotsss of namedropping and backstage chat)!

delicacy: a memoir about cake and death by katy wix — one of my recent faves and another book that isn't thoroughly funny. told in 21 vignettes either centered around or vaguely related to cake, katy talks about her school life, grief and loss, self-esteem and body image, misogyny — in ways that are just...matter of fact...opposed to lessons learned or things she's working on through therapy. she's accepted a lot, but she's also afflicted by a lot to this day; she's capably honest about where her reality stands. for this reason, it can be a bleak and certainly very raw read. i listened to the audiobook for this one, which was nice, but i much recommend the actual written book as the vignettes are in different formats (short story prose, letters, email exchanges) that often anchor time and place, intention, even the little peeks of light of comedy. katy's writing is very lovely, both my heart and mind were touched.

back story by david mitchell — a mildly vulnerable, moderately insightful, and quite humorous exploration of david's up-and-coming years. i really appreciate the premise — due a bad back and sciatica, he begins taking very long walks every day, and these walks trigger memories and anecdotes as he passes certain places — that really doesn't come off as a gimmick. it's a very easy read (or listen) and what i'd consider an uncomplicated, unproblematic bio, but it would be difficult to enjoy if you're only a casual fan of david mitchell or only like him in his most recent dad years, as it was written in his peep show heyday and is so much about those years of his life, his relationship with robert webb, etc. a good intro-to-the-genre book and the very first britcom book i read way back in 2010!

i also really enjoy graham norton's books — especially for the goss, but he's a great writer and his debut fiction novel got quite good reviews! — and tim key's books of poetry, though you really need to be a fan of tim key to read tim key :')

books i do not recommend:

before & laughter by jimmy carr — this book is much less of an autobiography (details are scant and anecdotes are few; it's cute when he refers to karoline as "my girl") and much more a collection of 1) jimmy's interpretation of contemporary comedy and what it means to be a comedian, and 2) how that journey, and his evolving attitudes, shaped him + became advice he would offer to others. this is why he calls the book adjacent to self help & motivational speaking. i don't think it teaches you anything new about him — literally or as a writer — so i don't recommend reading it, though the audiobook (where he's truly performing the writing like a ted talk) is an easy listen. a lot of people will not understand that jimmy is overwhelmingly sincere in regards to all of the topics and personal philosophies the jimmy nearing 50 espouses. he's someone with very studied, thorough personal philosophies (if you've seen him on podcasts talking about his life and career then you'll know just what i mean) and he explains them deftly, but they can feel a bit...how should i say this...flat to people who have heard a lot of it before, in hollywood movies or from their own parents or wherever. he didn't write this just for another stream of income — he is passionate about these conversations and that counts for something. overall i already knew a bit about the guy and didn't need this.

my shit life so far by frankie boyle — i have never read one of frankie's fiction novels (crime is really not my thing, so someone needs to let me know if richard osman's book series is a smash because i'm only going to check them out if i'm convinced to), but as a long-time fan of his, knowing how much of a wordsmith he is, and how intentional he is in everything he says, i was surprised by how dull i found this. his shit life was just that — uninteresting, meandering. his anecdotes may have worked better aloud than on paper, but they didn't grab me. you learn a bit about his young adulthood, but like jimmy he's intensely private and i could feel that distance between us even while reading an autobiography. it didn't work for me, super sad about it :(

can everyone please calm down? by mae martin — instead of criticising this book, i'd rather just make a disclaimer or two. if you are already engaged in queer discourses and dialogues, you are not going to learn very much from this book. both the descriptive writing and presentation of research is "accessible" to the point i'd call it more adjacent to YA than adult literature; if you prefer more creative, complicated, and/or signature writing styles, this book is not for you. if you are a big fan of mae martin and would appreciate an overview of their journey on the identity spectrum (going so far as to even rejecting it, in some capacities) in one place, then this may be convenient — but even then, at this point, it's somewhat outdated. imo a well-intention skip.

phil wang and tom allen are two more i think don't convince me with their writing, but i'm still making my ways through a couple of books and could probably talk more about this later!

i have never made this kind of non-fiction bio a priority on my long reading list, so i still have a lot of exploring and catching up to do, but i'm finding that i do prefer the books that explore the events of comedian's past as well as those that walk the reader through experiences in the comedy & tv industries. there are a lot of books about mental health and identity, which may be more of what many of you are looking for (sara pascoe, fern brady, jon richardson, and more).

okaY PHEW SORRY i always type too much 😒

first, as for david mitchell's new book, you can order it signed from waterstones as they ship to the usa — and it's currently half off!!!!! if you want to buy it unsigned from a usa retailer amazon is cheapest and target & bookshop are the cheapest non-amazon options :) an audiobook is coming out as well, so i do believe i will be able to add that to googledrive before too long, but no guarantees on a good time frame!

you can go here to download any of the ebooks & audiobooks i have on my googledrive!

[lilareviewsbooks]

Short SFF Books!

I know getting into SFF can be difficult because of the sheer size of series and books in the genres. So here’s a couple of speculative fiction picks that don’t require that much time to read :)

I’ve also made a part two for this, so check that out if you’d like some more short SFF!

This Is How You Lose The Time War, by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone

209 pages

sapphic rep

standalone

This one is a classic when it comes to short sci-fis (thank you, Bigolas Dickolas), and that’s definitely for a reason! This Is How You Lose The Time War is a story in an incredibly unique format that will, to be honest, probably emotionally devastate you in some way or another. 

Time War follows Red and Blue, two agents working for opposite sides of, you know it, a time war. Their job is to travel through time to change the odds for their respective “agencies”. But, of course, they can’t resist leaving each other messages along in the way - in the most unique manners possible.

This queer novella will take your breath away. It will lead you through multiple timelines, split into two perspectives, Red and Blue, with a beautiful, lyrical writing style, which will make you so invested in our two main characters. The author duo treats us to these fantastical, vivid settings, which are sparkling with potencial and leave you wanting to dive deeper.

Silver In The Wood, by Emily Tesh

112 pages

achillean rep

duology

This is part of the Greenhollow Duology, but can absolutely be read as a standalone. It’s also one of my all time favorites! Silver In The Wood follows Tobias, a groundskeeper who lives deep in the woods. When Henry Silver moves into the house Tobias watches, things change - there’s something in the woods, and Tobias might just have to introduce Henry to it. 

It’s been a while since I read this, but I haven’t forgotten about it. I’m always thinking about this book. The vibes are simply immaculate, and so cozy. It will literally make you feel like you’re in the woods. The character work is excellent, and focuses on older protagonists, which is always a treat. The romance is well-constructed and the second book is completely optional, taking place almost as a side-quest for the main couple. 

I wish there were so many more of these, but unfortunately there are only two. But damn, are they great! Highly recommend, Silver In The Wood and its sequel, Drowned Country!

The Singing Hills Cycle, by Nghi Vo

100 to 128 pages 

non-binary and sapphic rep

series

The Singing Hills Cycle is a good one to recommend, because it’s very low-commitment. You can pick whichever one of the three books (there’s soon to be a fourth!!) draws your interest, you can start with that one, and then go from there. The series follows Chih, a wandering cleric, from the Wandering Hills Abbey, which is preoccupied with keeping records of the history of this China-inspired kingdom. Chih goes around the territory with his talking bird Almost Brilliant, collecting stories.

This series is beautiful! Every book contains in it a beautiful exploration of folklore, and bite-sized story that will always warm your heart. Chih is a wonderful character around which to revolve this story, and their commitment to keeping records and history flows off the page - which is hella important, let’s record our history, folks! The side characters that show up on a book-by-book basis are always the best, and their dialogue is always the best part.

I highly recommend listening to the audiobook - I did so for the last installment,  Into The Riverlands, and it was amazing! Just a 2 hour listen, if that sells ya!

The Murderbot Diaries, starting with All Systems Red, by Martha Wells

144 to 256 pages

queer rep of all kinds! yay!

series

The Murderbot Diaries is for those of us looking for a bigger committment. The series currently has 7 books, one of which is a full-length novel. However, you can read the first book as a standalone and decide if you’d like to continue on following Murderbot’s adventures! Most of the books are 150 - 200 pages long, and so are a pretty quick read!

This is perfect if you enjoy a snarky narration style and a compelling protagonist who’s trying to figure out how they fit into the world. Murderbot, our main character and narrator, is a SecUnit, that is, a security android, that must accompany a scientific expedition to a distant planet, to keep the explorers safe. But Murderbot has hacked its security mode, and enjoys watching TV shows and chilling by itself. But when the mission starts to go wrong, it might need to perk up and start - oh, no! - interacting with the humans.

Although I haven’t read the whole series yet, - I’m waiting for the mood to come over me, okay! - I have the first three books under my belt, and I’m so excited to continue. Murderbot has this spark and this snark which is just so entertaining to read, and so this book will have you laughing and rooting for it as it tries to figure out how to fit in in human society. Such a compelling character, and I’m happy there’s a lot of content out there for me to consume.

The Emperor’s Soul, by Brandon Sanderson

192 pages

no gay rep :(

standalone

The Emperor’s Soul is a part of Mr. Sanderson’s Elantris universe, but can be read as a standalone without knowing anything else about this world. It’s a bit of a different rec - Mr. Sanderson’s writing style is - and I mean this in the politest way possible - dry as fuck, and definitely not for everyone. But there’s something here I think is worth your time.

The magic system here is so unique and so fascinating. The Emperor’s Soul follows Shai, a Forger, who can copy objects flawlessly by re-writing their history. But, suddenly, she’s enlisted to do the impossible - Forge the Emperor.

I would give this one a try, even if it’s not like all the others one I recommended. It’s a good read, and Mr. Sanderson is, like it or not, a classic fantasy writer that’s a must-read for most fantasy fans. And, for me, this and then Mistborn were perfect stepping in points for his fiction.

I have so many of these, guys. Like, literally, so many. So, let me know if you want more of these - I’ll write up another post! And if you’d more specific recs, feel free to drop an ask :) 

Also, check out my SFF books with queer-normal worlds list, if you’re looking for more gay stuff!

[astrarche-x]

The Radiant Emperor audiobooks: a (subjective) comparison

So, because I need to absorb these books through every means possible, I've also listened to the audiobooks in the languages I'm fluent in (Polish, English, French), even though generally I don't listen to audiobooks at all.

Here are my impressions, categorized. I made a separate category for Ouyang's voice not only because he is my fave, but because his voice is described the most specifically of all in the novel and I was really curious to hear the narrators' interpretations of him.

English (narrated by Natalie Naudus)

narration tone: the most captivating narration of the three imo: very vivid, the narrator changes tone frequently and does it well :)

characters' voices: I loved Zhu the most, spot on impression imo. Other characters' voices are top notch, really differentiated and convey a lot of emotion.

Ouyang's voice: very good job with making him sound angry - I usually imagine him speaking in a more "cold, but collected" manner, but the impression of him almost screaming at his officers was great, 10/10, lives in my mind rent free now (along with the stellar delivery of ''why does this untalented bitch play so loudly'')

other remarks: The narrator pronounces the names in accordance with Chinese pronounciation (I guess?), which is very very cool and gives a more authentic vibe. ("Yesen" did throw me out of immersion every time, but that's a me issue.)

overall: most fun audiobook of the three imo

Polish (narrated by Maciej Kowalik)

narration tone: the narrator has a very irritating cadence - "readingonehalfofthesentenceveryfast.....pause.... and then the other half normally", which was probably supposed to build tension, but made the audiobook rather unbearable.

characters' voices: top notch impression of drunk Esen, 10/10. okay in general, though I couldn't bear Ma.

Ouyang's voice: This is the only one of these three audiobooks narrated by a man and it was interesting to hear his interpretation of Ouyang; while not really on the "no voice mutation" side, of course, this version really made the point to make him sound lighter than every other guy but still masculine. very very cool, no notes

other remarks: The audiobook is broken into smaller parts than the book chapters; it's more like one-two scenes from the book per audiobook chapter, and while I think it's an interesting move, I'm not sure if it helps with navigation

overall: it's okay, it's in my language, so that's it I guess. The Ouyang impression is one of its few redeeming qualities.

French (narrated by Sabine Napierala)

narration tone: the most pleasing of the three imo; sometimes the narrator could have used a bit more variation in the tone, though, bc at times I found myself carried away by the sound of her voice and my mind drifting.

characters' voices: GREAT impression of Baoxiang, the best here, no contest; you can really hear the performance Ouyang talks about in SWBTS. This was what I didn't know I needed. Also great Ma and pretty nice impression of Esen. And voices for every character are so different!

Ouyang's voice: here the narrator really nailed the impression that Ma has in HWDTW: raspy yet with something feminine in it. (Maybe it's just the French language is very well suited to that particular kind of voice.) Different from the Polish version, yet still fitting perfectly.

on that note: Ouyang adressing Esen with 2nd person plural (vous) all the time while Esen adresses him with 2nd person singular (tu)... very important to me. the French really went for highlighting the power imbalance between them and I am unwell. (It's a pity, though, that in the '"Come to Bianliang with me" scene the translator didn't make Ouyang use "tu" for maximum shock effect.)

other remarks: There is a musical jingle before every chapter! Fancy :) On the flip side, there isn't a French audiobook for HWDTW yet :( I hope they make it soon bc I can't wait for all the Baoxiang parts honestly

overall: the most relaxing of the three imo (which can be both a blessing and a curse). Definitely my fave but I'm biased on account of going through my ''I miss speaking French on a daily basis'' hours.

[altocat]

Hey Alto, I have a writing question if you don’t mind my asking (if details are too personal I totally understand - no pressure!).

You’re a fantastic writer, and your use of description makes you works extremely memorable and vivid. Before you started work on AMT, what other writing practices did you do? Have you ever written for other fandoms, or just creatively for fun/professionally? And finally, what practices would you recommend for someone not as familiar with writing fiction?

(I apologize if that’s a lot lol)

I've been writing basically since I was a student, though I do writing professionally now. It's actually a lot different from writing a novel or a fic, especially in the marketing field. But I basically write all day, every day, 24/7 lmao. You get burned out every now and then but it at least keeps my mind sharp.

Before AMT, I'd written fic in other fandoms before. In high school, I mostly did stuff for Batman. In college, Buffy. But they were extremely embarrassing in hindsight and I've deleted most of them off the internet permanently. Trust me, they were BAD. Catastrophically bad. I cringe thinking about it. Even AMT's first published draft was pretty weak imo. I keep editing it every now and then solely to keep adding some extra layers and polish.

For practices, I think it first helps to have an audiobook on hand--it can be anything you like. Listen to how they convey words. It helps to hear it directly in your head. I find that my writing flows a lot more naturally when I hear how other people use theirs. I also recommend finding a good time of day that helps motivate your writing. For example, I do all my stuff at night because that's when my mind is active. Some people prefer morning. It depends on when you feel you're the most creative. I also use music to brainstorm scenes and actions, especially when it comes to really dramatic stuff. My favorite technique whenever I've hit a wall is to go walking. That really, REALLY helps me brainstorm and I definitely recommend it.

[rurpleplayssims]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals!

Are you named after anyone? Not that I'm aware of. My mum just really liked the name and after the three days of hell labour, my dad had no say in my naming! 🤣 I am the eldest of my siblings.

When was the last time you cried? I cry a lot but thankfully it's been a while. Define crying too - as in bawling my eyes out? - that's been ages. If it's me tearing up with emotion, then it was a couple of days ago when I went to Liverpool. The city is decked out with blue and yellow EVERYWHERE because it's hosting Eurovision on behalf of Ukraine, and it's quite touching to see.

Do you have kids? No. I would never rule out having kids but currently, my younger brothers (15 years younger) fulfil my maternal instincts at the moment.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I go off on mini-rants (at myself) and I probably slip into sarcasm.

What sports do you play/have played? l hated my PE classes at school despite being good at it. I never wanted to do extra sports, so I was not on any teams.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? A sense of who they are, and if any 'odd' behaviour is down to nervous energy or not. It's a skill that's useful in my public-facing job. I always strive to be as friendly as possible as I remember vividly how nerve-wracking it can be in new places/situations. You need someone there to reassure you.

Eye colour? This is starting to sound like a security test! 🤣 I have hazel eyes.

Scary movies or happy endings? Hate scary stuff. My imagination is far too vivid and if I get creeped out by something, it's in my head for WEEKS afterwards, and I value a good night's sleep! I prefer happy endings.

Any special talents? Umm...I'm not sure. I'd say my best skill is writing but I'm not the best of the best either. Might be me being modest, you all can be the judge. I'd like to be better regardless, another trait of being my own editor as well.

Where were you born? London, UK.

What are your hobbies? Writing, gaming, walking, listening to audiobooks and baking cakes.

Do you have any pets? No. We had dogs when I was younger. I want to have my own dog someday, but I can't in my current home and it's also not the right time for such a commitment (emotionally and logistically).

How tall are you? Errr....5"5...I think? Average height for a woman my age.

Favourite subject in school? Religious Studies when I was at school. We learnt about Buddhism and then had various ethical questions to decide what the Buddhist perspective on the ethics would be. It was my best GCSE result as well. However, looking back , I'd say my favourite class was English, for obvious reasons.

Dream Job? Being a published author, who is moderately successful. I'd hate to be 'famous', but it'd be great if writing could be my main income.

Anybody who wants to do this can consider themselves tagged! Thank you @timberllania for the tag!

[queenerdloser]

im literally begging every teen who complains about classical lit they were taught in high school to like wait a few years and go back and re-read that shit when you’re in your 20s and 30s. like. i absolutely think you can get and love the classics as a teen, but i do feel like there are so many books that just hit different as an adult. your worldview is so different, your connection to real life is more vivid, and the stuff that maybe flew over your head or seemed boring or unimportant in books actually hit. i also just think it’s really important to read classics outside of the classroom setting in general like - yeah, read it for fun! i don’t care if it takes three years to finish or if you only listen to the audiobook or you just end up not finishing it, but i feel like part of what helps make a connection to these books is discovering it yourself, with nobody holding your hand or pushing you along. (this is not anti-english class!!! english class is SO necessary and wonderful and teaches you so many good essential skills.) 

idk like the anti-intellectualism surrounding reading cults (here’s to looking at you booktok) is honestly mind-numbingly frustrating and the refusal to see any inherent worth in the classics because the last time you read them was when you were bored and frustrated in your 10th grade english class is..... stupid. read them again as an adult! read them again for fun! there’s so much shit i hated as a teen i love now and yes that also applies to books by stuffy white men! 

[running-in-the-dark]

I've got an appointment with my psychiatrist/neurologist tomorrow and I think I'm going to mention all my weird sleep issues. I've had multiple people tell me it kind of sounds like narcolepsy, and then a few days ago I listened to a podcast episode where someone talked about their sleep issues - they sounded exactly like mine, and the story ended with them being diagnosed with narcolepsy 😬😬

I'm really nervous about bringing it up (because how could I have something relatively rare, I just can't sleep, that's perfectly normal right 😬😬) but I'll try (I won't say 'hi I think I have narcolepsy', I'll just explain the symptoms I have).

Just to sum it up for myself, here's a list of my sleep issues:

without the antidepressant I'm currently on that makes me sleepy, I wasn't able to fall asleep. it's always been hard but for about 6 months before the meds, it took me 1-4 hours to fall asleep every night (sometimes I just couldn't fall asleep at night at all)

... and I'd also wake up at least three times a night

I'm always tired/exhausted - I need at least 9-10 hours of sleep to feel slightly rested, but I could basically sleep all day and still feel tired (I do regularly sleep 12-14 hours, and usually sleep through any alarms I set too)

I have very vivid/real-feeling nightmares that often wake me up (that's much worse now with my meds)

I get sleep paralysis somewhat regularly (also worse with the meds), and now usually feel like my whole body is shaking when it happens too.

when I'm half asleep I often can't tell if something really happened or if it was a dream. I wouldn't call it a hallucination, I think? though sometimes when I fully wake up later I'll ask my husband if he came into the room and said a specific thing earlier and he usually says no, but I know I was awake when that 'happened', so. who knows.

if I'm sitting down and not actively doing something, it's pretty likely I'll fall asleep (like when I'm watching TV, reading, listening to an audiobook, in the car as a passenger etc.) - but it doesn't happen if I'm the one driving or anything that means I'm really alert/tense/active like that

I've fallen asleep in class/similar situations many times, but I think that's normal? like, that feeling of trying really hard to stay awake and focus because you can tell you're getting very very sleepy and it takes like a few minutes but eventually I just doze off (for a few seconds I think? obviously I can't tell because I'm not awake...)

that happened very frequently when I did my apprenticeship (it was awful - I'd be entering client's receipts and fall asleep over and over again while doing it. it was a problem because obviously I made some pretty big mistakes and people weren't happy...) - that was when I slept about 12 hours a night because I was too tired to stay awake once I came home from work.

I've fallen asleep in the cinema several times too (usually during movies I was really excited to see)

I dream even when I only sleep a few minutes. like if I fall asleep on the couch for five minutes I'll still dream. apparently that's not normal?

also if I'm watching something, for example, I'll fall asleep over and over and over again, each time for a few minutes. then I wake up, rewind what I was watching, and immediately fall asleep again. that goes on for hours sometimes and it's very frustrating because I try so hard to stay awake.

I don't know what this is exactly, but it sounds a little bit like very mild cataplexy... I think? sometimes I'll just suddenly be really really weak like my muscles aren't working. I can't grip/hold anything, can't lift my arms or legs, can't move/hold up my head (it feels too heavy), can barely speak, and just have to stay sitting/lying down like that until it passes. but I can't remember if that was because of intense emotions or anything like that because I had no idea that could be related. I think it does often happen when I'm really scared/anxious but I think that's just because that's exhausting?

my hands especially do often stop working right when I'm really stressed/overwhelmed. like I can't grip anything/use them properly. it's especially bad when someone is watching me write/do anything else with my hands - I get so anxious that my hands don't work right. and my knees/legs go really weak when I'm standing and I get very anxious (like during a presentation). but that's just anxiety I think?

I did fall to the floor when someone scared me once because my legs gave in, but that was like 20 years ago so it probably doesn't count (and isn't that normal anyway?). though, now that I'm thinking about it... that has actually happened at least twice after that 🤔 (my nephew scared me once, my legs gave in so I fell down, and he did it again another time because he thought it was funny)

oh yeah and I was so scared during my driving test that my legs stopped working and starting shaking uncontrollably while I was trying to park, so I had to wait a minute or more until it passed

okay I just googled what cataplexy really feels like because I just don't understand it at all, and apparently going super weak from laughing really hard isn't normal?! that can't be right. that happens to everyone, doesn't it? like when you laugh really really hard and your arms are like giant useless noodles? (that actually sums up that muscle weakness that I get pretty well: my limbs are like floppy noodles that I can only sort of control)

(I've seen several people give tickling as an example now.. but everyone goes completely limp when they're being tickled right?? like no one can move in that situation right?? lol this list is so stupidly long now that no one will get to this point but if you do, please tell me if that's normal or not.)

I don't know. It's probably nothing. Or maybe it's something else, like sleep apnea? Or I'm just overly sensitive or whatever.

I usually just put all of this weirdness down to 'oh my brain is just being weird again'. But I guess it can't hurt to at least mention it? 😬 It seems like a long list when I actually write it down but I tend to exaggerate things, probably? I guess most of this is normal anyway, so I'm sure it's nothing. But it is very annoying either way so I will at least mention it once.

[jemimaland]

maladaptive daydreaming ☁️

(the good, the bad, and how it affects your glow up goals)

Maladaptive daydreaming is something I have practised for as long as I can remember. At first I was very proud of it, like I have the ability to be more creative than those around me - but this isn't true. While maladaptive daydreaming is something that requires a vivid imagination, it is also relatively common. There are different extremes of maladaptive daydreaming, and I am not claiming to be a person who relies on it as a trauma response or coping mechanism, but I have been known to use it pretty frequently as a way to get through the day: on public transport, during classes, as I go to sleep, etc.

Recently, as I have been working on my glowing up journey, I have noticed the negative impact my daydreaming has been having on my life. Daydreaming can get me quite depressed at the knowledge that my daydreams will never become reality because they exist in magical realms that I cannot visit, and I can feel frustrated on returning to the real world. Not to mention the fact that it was distracting me from my exams because I wouldn't pay attention in class. This is no way to live your life!

Imagine being on your deathbed and realising that you spent your whole life living half-realities in your head, instead of making your real life one you would daydream about. So here are the things I have been doing to help with this:

I started prioritising daydreams that could actually happen, instead of daydreams that involve something out of my control. For example, instead of daydreaming about fantasy realities or my crush liking me back, I have started daydreaming about what my ideal morning routine would look like, my ideal future, my ideal self, etc. All of these things are things that I can control and attain on my own. I realised that cutting daydreaming out of my life entirely would probably negatively impact my mental health because I have relied on it so much for so long, but this small shift has helped me feel like my daydreaming isn't so harmful. I can also combine this with manifesting, because I can tell myself that I already have these things and that they are already my reality.

I replaced daydreaming with other things. For example, the main time I used to daydream was on the train while listening to music. So I have replaced daydreaming with reading, or I replace music with podcasts or audiobooks so that I can't drift off as easily. This has really helped me feel more productive at the beginning of the day because the time I spent daydreaming on the train in the morning would often set my day off to a bad note. I would feel frustrated with reality, kind of tired and groggy because I had kind of drifted off, and often I'd feel quite insecure because the version of myself that I had in my brain wasn't like the version of myself that really existed.

I allowed myself to daydream at the right time. I am allowed to have hobbies and do things that perhaps aren't the best for me sometimes, and as I mentioned I think I would struggle if I cut daydreaming out of my life completely. So, instead, I allow myself time at the end of the day, if I have been really craving a good daydream, a moment to disappear into my mind for a while, and I can think about whatever I want, including daydreams that are impossible.

I combined daydreaming with something healthy, ex. a walk. My friends and I have joked before about our 'maladaptive daydream walks', but I see even more of a benefit now than I did then. Because I'm being active and I'm walking, there isn't any danger of me drifting off and getting groggy. It is also an incentive for me to go on a walk.

I try to romanticise life so that it is more appealing. This is a much bigger step than any of the others, because it involves completely reshaping your life. And mine is certainly a work in progress, but even just the fact that I'm trying to shape a better reality makes me more excited to come back to it after disappearing for a while.

[just-a-bookish-reader]

The Stardust Thief by Chelsea Abdullah My rating: 5 of 5 stars This book was amazing. I read it while waiting for flights and on flights to Charleston for YAllFest last month and I finished it so suddenly that my dad and I were thankful our first flight was only an hour long and then we had a layover, so I could just listen to an audiobook and survive before I could get to the other books I had packed. And honestly, in someways I feel like this book has ruined me forever.

The storytelling aspect was so strong, the way the author set it up with it actually being a story being told and not just running dialogue between characters that felt info dumpy... I almost find the latter annoying now even though that's much more common than what this book did. Also some of the flashbacks the way they were written - for some reason were giving me Six of Crows flashback vibes?

Which is absolutely meant to be taken as a compliment because I think those have been the best sorts of flashbacks I've ever read. Everything felt so vivid and real when I was reading it, and I cannot wait for the second book, but hey at least we have a title and a cover for it! Overall, completely 5 stars, magnificent masterpiece of a novel, and I can't wait to see what Chelsea Abdullah does with the rest of the series! View all my reviews

[maxlarens]

everyone go read this RIGHT NOW im not kidding!

It's one of the men, peering at necklaces. You steal a glance at him – handsome, well dressed, a head of dark curls – and look back at the rings when he turns his head, embarrassed to be caught looking.

NOSY ASS LANDO😤 i do love him for helping though. what a sweetie!! goddd i love it. like just to draw someone’s lando’s especially attention after being stuck in the crappiest relationship for so long🥺 happy for her and shes not even real🙂‍↕️

It's so fucking unfair that his lashes are so pretty.

REAL AND HE WOULD SMELL GOOD!

He gives you a look as the clerk returns, and before you can reach for your wallet he's already handing over his card. You open your mouth to protest but he tips his head. "A congratulations gift," he insists.

shut the fuck up. SHUT UP. i would die.

"Buy you a drink?" he offers as he opens the door for you.

Looking at him again, you slowly breathe in. Expensive cologne. Salt air. "I'd love dinner," you say, and his smile rivals the setting sun.

oh this made my head spin. auaghaha it’s soo vivid and sooo good. your writing is fantastic as usual!!!!!!!!!

"I don't read." He winces a bit at the admission. "Dyslexic, yeah? It's a miracle I finished school. But anyway. You write a novel and I promise to read it."

unwell. he’d even get the audiobook and listen to the whole thing just for you😭 also “I believe in supporting the arts” LANDO STAND UP AND JUST SAY U WANT HER.

Beautiful. Breathtakingly so. You know it'll never happen but the romantic inside you wishes you could wake up to his eyes every morning.

SICK! THIS IS SICK!

You half expect him to leave, but he's there when you wake up, sleeping on his stomach next to you, his arm slung across your waist, his gentle snores telling you he's fast asleep.

🥺AND HE STAYS LONGER FOR YOU!!!!!!

As you stare at the words, you realize you haven't rubbed your ring finger in nearly a week. A picture appears on the screen, the ring – that he bought – resting in his palm.

omg…….OMG …. and hes fucking WEARING IT. viv u are DIABOLICAL.

WAS IT SPECIAL! WAS IT SPECIAL. ur kidding. god. i cant with this. this is so perfect......... i told myself i wasnt going to write such a long reblog but i just had to. it made me ACHE! ugh.

also viv i hope u know that when im screaming that something's making me feel sick that im literally blushing and giggling and kicking my feet because i love it so much

Hazy Days - LN

summary: summer fling, don't mean a thing pairing: lando norris x divorced!reader word count: 3.6k warnings: non-explicit smut (mdni), older woman a.n.: fuck quadrant's summer scope vids song: summer nights from Grease

You're doing it again. It's been over a year now and you're still rubbing your ring finger with your thumb. You're not as quite as surprised when you don't feel the rings, and when you look down you're relieved to see that the pale patch of skin has disappeared. I've got to buy a ring, you think. Because, despite everything, you still feel weird without a ring on that finger.

You give your head a shake. The marriage is over. It was over before it officially began, but the divorce has been finalized for almost a month. The settlement is in your account – it's how you're paying for this spontaneous trip.

You're no longer a married woman. A terrifying thought, even now, when your entire identity for nearly 10 years was wife. And now…

Now you don't know what you are.

So you packed a bag, bought a plane ticket on a whim, and now you're at some seaside hotel in the south of France. You're looking out at the people on the beach, and further out at the yachts dotting the Mediterranean.

A place you've always wanted to visit and now you're frozen in the hotel room, scared to death that you won't enjoy it. Like a decadent dessert you've thought about all day that tastes like an old candy bar when you finally get a bite. Like the new Louboutin pumps you'd wanted for your birthday two years ago that had pinched your toes and you haven't worn since.

You've built this up in your head and now you're afraid it won't live up to your expectations.

Babes, enjoy it. This is gonna be so healing for you.

Your best friend's words ring in your mind and you reach for the phone to call her for more reassurance, then remember the time difference. She loves you, but she won't appreciate a phone call this early unless it's an emergency.

"God, get over it. You're not the only newly divorced woman in the world," you mutter to yourself, turning away from the window to finish dressing. You want to do some exploring, get plenty of photos to share, maybe find a few souvenirs.

Your thumb slides over your ring finger as you exit the hotel a little while later and you sigh, turning back to ask the concierge of a nice jewelry store. When you tell him you're interested in purchasing a ring, he knows the perfect place and soon you're on your way, strolling along the winding streets.

The afternoon sun is hot and you breathe a sigh of relief once you step into the shop. The interior or hushed and you're aware of the clerks' eyes all moving to you. A couple young men at the counter are chatting and laughing, not paying attention to you at all, and you venture further into the shop.

The men are looking at bracelets, and a smartly dressed clerk is more than happy to show you the rings, leading you to a low counter and inviting you to sit in the cushioned chair.

"Oh… No, not anything like a wedding or engagement ring," you say as a tray of sparkling diamond rings is brought out. "I… I recently got divorced and I need something to replace my rings. Something that looks nothing like a wedding ring?"

From behind you, you can hear the two men murmuring, their English accents oddly comforting after three days of hearing only French voices. You finally narrow the selection down to two and are trying to decide when movement out the corner of your eye snags your attention.

It's one of the men, peering at necklaces. You steal a glance at him – handsome, well dressed, a head of dark curls – and look back at the rings when he turns his head, embarrassed to be caught looking.

You're focusing on the rings, trying them on and testing out how they feel against your thumb, when he speaks.

"I think the other one looks better."

Jerking your head up, you find yourself looking into a pair of brilliant green eyes.

It's so fucking unfair that his lashes are so pretty.

"Do you?" you ask, looking back at the rings.

"Yeah – unless you want something flashy?"

He's moved close enough you can smell his cologne.

He even smells divine. So fucking unfair.

You switched rings and nodded. "Flashy isn't really me… I'll take this one," you tell the clerk.

The man smiles. "Getting used to a ring?"

"Ah… No," you chuckle. "Can't get used to not having one."

His smile dies and a look of panic flashes over his face. "Um… Sorry?"

You almost laugh. Giving your head a shake, you watch the clerk wrap the ring and wait for her to return. "Don't be."

"Oh," he murmured, smile returning and sliding into a grin. "Congratulations, then."

This time you do laugh. "Thanks."

He gives you a look as the clerk returns, and before you can reach for your wallet he's already handing over his card. You open your mouth to protest but he tips his head. "A congratulations gift," he insists.

His friend approaches, giving you a friendly nod. "What are we congratulating?"

You smile weakly. "The end of my marriage."

"Divorce?" he asks. When you nod, he smirks. "The best thing about marriage, honestly."

"Max."

"What am I supposed to say?" Max protests, holding up his hands.

The first man groans. "You're such a – cheers," he says when the clerk brings his card back. "Let's go before you embarrass me even more."

You're smiling at their banter as you thank the clerk for her assistance. When you stand to make your way out, he's waiting near the door.

"Buy you a drink?" he offers as he opens the door for you.

His name is Lando. Max – pain in my ass – is obviously his best friend and doesn't join you for drinks as he's got to get packed up to leave. When you suggested Lando spend time with him before he goes home, Lando waved it off.

"He lives in England but I see him all the time."

Lando, it turns out, does not live in England. He looks almost embarrassed when you ask where he lives, and when he finally mutters that he lives in Monaco your eyes widen. Surely he's too young to be that well off?

Trust fund, probably. Now you don't feel so bad for his paying for the ring.

"That must be… Interesting," you say, taking a sip of your drink. He's brought you to a chic bar at the beach, and you're sitting on the upper terrace, the slowly sinking sun casting a golden glow over the water.

"I don't really get much time there." He fiddles with the stirrer in his drink. "I'm gone a lot."

Interest piqued, you set your glass down. "Oh?" Maybe he's a model, even if he is a little on the short side. Not that he's that short – he's definitely taller than you. "What do you do?"

"I drive cars." He ducks his head briefly. "Racecars."

"Really? I'm not… I'm a dumb American, the only racing I really know is the Indy 500?"

He laughs, shaking his head. "That's IndyCar."

You listen, fascinated, as he tells you about formula one, which you have heard about but it's not in your orbit. He seems both relieved and amused at the fact you're not into sports, and you can feel him relax as he laughs when you tell him you only watch the Super Bowl every year so you can eat a ton of junk food.

A drink turns into a few, and he's so nice to listen to, so easy to talk to. When he suggests dinner, you hesitate. You don't want to be that woman, newly divorced and falling into bed with the first man that looks at you. Especially one so young—

"How old are you?" you blurt.

It obviously surprises him and, though he was halfway out of his seat he sank back down. "How old are you?"

You refuse to play coy, to fish for compliments like you're desperate. "I'm thirty."

His eyebrows lift. "Twenty-four."

So not that young. More like… younger.

Lando gives you a smile. "Does that cancel dinner?"

You look into his eyes for a long moment then glance out at the view. There's an obvious fork in the road in front of you. One leads to something with this handsome racecar driver, and you have a feeling it's going to be more than dinner. The other leads to the rest of your solo vacation, with the cloud of what could be lingering. Looking at him again, you slowly breathe in.

Expensive cologne. Salt air.

"I'd love dinner," you say, and his smile rivals the setting sun.

You'll never be able to describe the meal you ate. Lando makes it nearly impossible to focus on anything but him. Not in a demanding way. He's just… Magnetic. He tells you stories about his career, about embarrassing moments and highs and lows and talks about his other ventures. How does he have time to sleep? He talks glowingly about Max and has you giggling into your wine over a story of the two of them getting into trouble that left Lando locked out of his parents' home. When he apologizes for talking so much you almost beg him to not stop. But he asks about you, and you can't help thinking he seems genuinely interested.

"My life isn't half as interesting as yours," you say with a shake of your head.

"I don't know… You're divorced, halfway around the world, having dinner with a strange guy. Seems interesting to me," he murmurs.

"Oh, it's a tale as old as time. Girl meets boy, girl falls in love and gives up everything… Girl becomes a woman, boy becomes a toad."

Lando winced. "No kissing to turn him into a prince?"

"He'd have to want the kiss for that to happen."

"What a fucking idiot," Lando says.

You tilt your head to the side. "For being a toad?"

"For not wanting your kiss."

You set your glass down with a surprised gulp. About to call him out for feeding you a line, you pause, seeing the glimmer in his eyes. Without thinking you lick your lips and see his gaze dip down briefly. You don't know what to say or how to react so you sit there, unable to refrain from thinking about how a kiss from Lando would feel.

"His loss." Lando's voice was barely above a murmur. Then, shockingly, his cheeks darken and his tongue darts over his lips. He looks down at his plate and you can hear his sigh before he looks up, his expression serious. "You gave up everything?"

"A slight exaggeration, really." You shrug, picking at your food. "I had dreams that I put on hold to help him achieve his."

"I've never been married. But, like…" He sighs, setting his fork down. "That doesn't seem fair?"

"Life isn't—"

"I know, but marriage isn't life is it?" His face screws up at that but he forges ahead. "Isn't the whole point of it to support and help each other achieve their dreams?"

Smiling sadly, you nod. "I thought it was. He thought different."

"What dreams did you put on hold?" he asks after a moment.

"I wanted to get published." You look down at your half-eaten food. "When I was a kid, I loved reading and making up stories… I was studying for my degree in English – I planned to teach writing while working on my novels, because it's hard to make money doing it at first, and… Now it's too late."

"Why do you say that?"

"I'd have to go back to school and—"

"Yeah? Would you have to start over completely?"

"No." You can't remember how many credit hours you have left, but it would only take a phone call or an email to find out. "I wasn't too far from my degree."

"Then what's stopping you?" he challenged softly.

You don't have an answer. Nothing but the fear of failing, and you don't know him well enough to admit that.

"I don't read." He winces a bit at the admission. "Dyslexic, yeah? It's a miracle I finished school. But anyway. You write a novel and I promise to read it."

A smile pulls at your lips. "You'd do that for me? Someone you don't even know?"

"Of course." He grins. "I believe in supporting the arts."

He drives you back to the hotel in his sleek sportscar and for once you understand the allure of a purring engine and soft leather seats. There's no impending pressure when he offers to see you to your room, only the heat of his hand at the small of your back and the enticing scent of his cologne.

At your door, he hesitates. "Can I kiss you?"

Has anyone ever asked your consent for a kiss? You don't think so and the realization makes you sad, but you push that away because you've wanted him to kiss you since halfway through dinner.

His lips are a lighted match to kindling. The heat and desire are immediate and you're leaning into him, frightened by the strength of your want but craving more. It's been an embarrassingly long time since you've felt this way and you're aware that it may be even longer before you feel it again. So when the door finally clicks open you don't hesitate to step inside, pausing and reluctantly breaking the kiss to look up at him.

And wish you'd googled how to invite a man into your hotel room without sounding desperate.

But you don't have to ask.

"Okay to come in?" he whispers.

"God yes," you gasp.

His lips are on yours before the door closes behind him. Wrapping your arms around him, you sink into the kiss, snatching in breaths as his hands cradle your head. A soft whine is muffled against his tongue as you grip the front of his shirt, knees nearly forgotten as the tenderness of his touch wars the ferocity of his kiss.

"Fuck," he mumbles against your lips, his hands beginning to wander, molding you closer against him, his breath hitching as he clutches your hips. He pulls his head back slightly and you can feel his harsh breathing as he stares at you before crashing his lips to yours again.

The need grew stronger, almost primal, and you're backing towards the bed, gasping as his hands pull at your dress, nearly ripping it. Craving the feel of his skin, you do the same to his shirt, barely noticing the trail of clothing on the floor, too focused on his touch and his smell and the decadence of his of his kiss. He guides you down, swallowing your gasp as your bare skin touches the cool sheets.

Breaking the kiss with a harsh moan, he braces his hands on either side of you and lifts up slightly. He's panting, lips parted, and he gives a soft chuckle of surprise. "I didn't plan on this."

You lick your lips, still tasting him. And only craving more. "Neither did I."

He blinks, eyes almost wild as they dart from yours to your lips and back again. And all you can think��

Beautiful. Breathtakingly so. You know it'll never happen but the romantic inside you wishes you could wake up to his eyes every morning.

He leans down, and his kiss sends every coherent thought away. His skin is warm beneath your fingers, his hair softer than you thought it would be. His hands are rough but gentle at the same time, in your hair and trailing down your sides. Your name is a longing moan vibrating against your throat as you trace the muscles of his back.

"Lando," you gasp, arching beneath him.

"I know… I know." Hot breath at your ear, fingers digging into your thigh. Guiding your leg over his hip.

"Please." It's a soft moan.

"Fuck." His lips move to yours, his gasping whimper muffled.

The frantic need is still there but he's unhurried, as though he's trying to memorize every breath, every touch. When your hand flies out to grasp the sheet his hand follows, fingers threading between yours and gripping tightly. You're lost in the haze, sweat forming between you, sheets twisting. Ecstasy rises, peaks, and it's so sudden and delicious your cries ring out.

"Y/n." A desperate whine that only increases the bliss.

Rolling, twisting, arching. It's feverish and needy and so good so so good.

You both collapse, your hands in his sweat-damp hair. Panting, tingling, you wait for the awkwardness that never comes. His touch is tender, his lips gentle on yours before he's pulling away, murmuring that he'll get a towel. He's back before you can catch your breath, and by the time you can breathe he's kissing you again.

The sky outside is turning gray when you both breathlessly agree to get some sleep. You half expect him to leave, but he's there when you wake up, sleeping on his stomach next to you, his arm slung across your waist, his gentle snores telling you he's fast asleep.

And though you distinctly remember him saying he was going back to Monaco that day, he sticks around. Blushes and shrugs when you ask him about it over lunch, then suggests borrowing a friend's yacht for the night. The days bleed into the nights, a blurred span of time of sightseeing, swimming, and Lando.

When it's time for you to pack up to go home you feel a little bereft. But the vacation can't last forever. You've got to go back to real life, figure out how you'll live as a completely free woman. And he's got to get back to his life, jetting around the world and undoubtedly breaking hearts.

You exchange numbers and he promises to keep in touch, but you know you'll be forgotten before your plane takes off. You've been a pleasant distraction for his summer break, nothing more.

You're about to board when your phone buzzes with an incoming text. From Lando.

- You dropped your ring in my car.

As you stare at the words, you realize you haven't rubbed your ring finger in nearly a week. A picture appears on the screen, the ring – that he bought – resting in his palm.

- Hold onto it for me?

He won't. He'll give it away or sell it or take it back to the shop.

But, when you're back home and have exchanged texts with him and even a couple phone calls – yes I promise I contacted an advisor, I'm signing up for classes – and he lets you know his break is over and he's getting back to work, you cave and pull up footage of him in an interview.

He looks different on the screen of your laptop. Good, but different. And you can only focus on the necklace that's just visible under his (hideous really) orange shirt. When he leans, it shifts, and you see it.

Your ring.

"Are you still hung up on her?"

Lando's head snaps up at Max's question. "What?"

His friend gestures to the phone in Lando's hand. "That American?"

He feels his cheeks heat and realizes Max knows he's looking at your Instagram. "I'm not hung up."

Max just looks at him.

"I'm just checking on her," he mutters.

With a sigh, Max softens and sits next to him. "It's okay to like her, you know."

He huffs, his hand reaching to fiddle with the ring on his necklace. "She was just supposed to be a fling."

"But she wasn't," Max says after a moment.

Lando shakes his head. "I don't know," he whispers.

Silence lingers, stretches as his thumb hovers over your most recent post.

Then, softly. "Am I stupid?"

Max shoots him a look.

"For thinking it was special," he adds before his friend can insult him. "For thinking she thinks it was special."

"Was it special?"

He swallows hard, rolling the ring between his fingers as he looks at the post, a photo of a cup of coffee next to a laptop. Up past my bedtime parsing Austen. Liking it, he closes the app and locks his phone.

Was it special? Or was it just the great sex and no strings that had him thinking it was? At first, in those days immediately after you'd left, he'd only thought about the sex. How freeing it had been, knowing he wouldn't see you again and could let inhibitions go. But with each week that passed the sex wasn't the only thing he thought about.

Laughter and sunshine. Salty air and sweet conversation. Honeyed voice and understanding eyes.

He lifts his head, meeting Max's eyes. He doesn't have to say it. Max has known him for more than half his life. But he answers.

"Yes."

Taglist:

@maxlarens | @driverlando | @leodette | @forzalando | @captainreecejames | @d3kstar | @frenchyjuju | @irishmanwhore | @warrensluvr | @tpwkstiles | @mcmuppet | @eveninggstar | @noooway555 | @bookishnerd1132 | @skeleton-elly | @trisharee | @littlegrapejuice

[noahsbookhoard]

📚May 2024 Book Review (Part 2/3📚

The september weather is not being kind to me right now so let's travel to Greece and Nigeria! And solve a murder too, why not.

Le Meurtre de Roger Ackroyd (The Murder of Roger Ackroyd) by Agatha Christie

Roger Ackroyd is murdered just a day after Mrs Ferras, the woman he was planning to marry, was found dead from an overdose. One year earlier this was Mr Ferras who was found dead. Illness? Murder? This was unclear at the time, but the two deaths at 24 hours interval piqued Hercule Poirot's curiosity. Did Mrs Ferras really commit suicide? And who killed Roger Ackroyd?

My first Poirot and as of writing this, my favorite! (Granted I only read three so far but still.) Maybe it was a mistake to start with one with such a particular ending, maybe not. I fell from my chair at the revelation, I really saw nothing coming and it was thrilling.

I can't say too much because spoilling a murder mystery is not nice but I especially loved how this one had the answer staring us in the face this whole time and if you missed the one (1) clue or failed to understand it, the murderer would pass you by until Poirot unmasked them. Brilliant work but I understand why people were mad about it.

Poirot is unsufferable but that's why I love him so much, he has a flare for drama that suits the genre, you can almost feel him wink at you through the pages (and Agatha Christie through him as well, she would enjoy watching the read pull their hair trying to solve it and always ending up two steps behind her detective)

Surely one of the best, I can't recommend it enough. It is one of the earliest Hercule Poirot novel but still works really perfectly well today.

The Illiad by Homer (translated by Emily Wilson)

Ten years after the beginning of the Trojan War the city is still under siege and the Greeks, away from home. Homer recounts the final months of the war, Achilles' anger at Agamemnon, the emboldening of the Trojan army, the death of Patroclus and Achilles' revenge on Hector.

This is my first reading of The Illiad, although I have heard the story of the Trojan War multiple times in different forms, my favorite being The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. It was tume to give the original a go! I had a lot of choice as for as translation goes, both in French and English but I was curious about Wilson's translation. Also I was adamant that I wanted it as an audiobook, to have a closer experience to what it would have been to listen to an epic in Homer's time and Audra McDonald does a pretty good job in my opinion!

I loved all the events that never make the cut in retelling or abridged version of the epic, the details of the conversations, the battles, even the Catalogue of the Ships that I was dreading was interesting and soothing during a long train ride.

And it was nice to finally hear some of the most well known moment of the Greek mythology in one of the most ancient form: the wealth of details and dialogues makes it so much more vivid and intense.

Having studied Ancient Greece a little, especially the perception of otherness in Greek culture was really enlightening to put some context on the events. Even so, after thousands of years, it is just as entertaining and touching. Hector saying goodbye to Andromaque and taking his helmet off so it wouldn't scare Astyanax will never stop being endearing to me.

The characters are still relatable at times, Achilles' anger, his grief. Hector's love for his family and telling off of his brother. The words have travelled times and find us exactly the same today, there is some poetry in this.

A long journey, but a really satisfying one. I have The Odyssey audiobook at the ready, waiting for a podcast or another to go on hiatus so that I have a listening slot available!

Akata Witch (The Nsibidi Script #1) by Nnedi Okorafor

Sunny is albinos and Nigerian, born in America before her family moved back to Nigeria. Her difference always left her a little lost, until she met Chichi, Orlu and Sasha and discovered the Leopard people, where her difference makes her magic even stronger. But the foir friends will have to face a hard apprenticeship and a dangerous enemy: Black Hat Otokoto, a children serial killer.

This one wasn't my pick: I joined a book club back in May and every month each member suggest a book, we deaw one randomly and read it together. I love the concept, it's super fun, it invites people to try books they wouldn't have read otherwise.

It is a middle grade/early young adult novel, very Harry Potter like (very very much like it, some elements are a bit too close to pass as accidents) so I was definitely not the target audience and might have been a bit too old to appreciate it. This is a young girl discovering her magic abilities that had been hidden from her and with her friends she will have to defeat a menacing man that uses dark powers. That's really cliché as far as plot goes and I wasn't very invested because I could see it coming from a mile away.

The characters were archetypes and did not make a lasting impression on me. Among the children there's the clever boy, Orlu, the bitchy girl Chichi, and the American boy Sasha. I found them very two-dimensional, dialogues often felt flat and their actions were really predictable, not to mention how the group dynamic looks earily like Harry Ron and Hermione. The adults are worse: they are fully aware of the threat of Black Hat Otokoto and won't do anything except send four kids do the job for them. I found them very cold, not to say cruel at times. Physical punishment is expected and treated as normal, which I was really uncomfortable with.

However the setting is really interesting: I really enjoyed discovering the Nigerian culture through daily life and adventures of Sunny. It made me want more of this universe and its magic.

So even though this book was not for me and I won't be reading the rest of the series I am really curious about Nnedi Okorafor's work. I browsed a little and the author also have some adult books too, including some Nebula and Hugo award nominees. I'll probably try it at some point.