#and not Perfectly. but enough that you’re angry that the world wasn’t kind enough to her to give her a way out

[shorthaltsjester]

begging twitter to stop showing me tweets of people with no reading comprehension misrepresenting things I said but since i was going to make this more in-depth post Anyway .

when i say imogen is better read as a metaphor for generational trauma than she is a metaphor for queerness or chronic pain, i’m not talking about legitimate traits she has as a character. obviously she is queer. obviously she experiences some form of chronic pain (though i would argue her magic better suits chronic illness not pain because she states that it’s Not always painful, but it does always influence how she lives her life).

when i talk about how well she’s understood as a metaphor, i’m talking about when i’m looking at her as a part of a story, as an arc that i am witnessing rather than in the more typical fandom way of this is a fictional person who interacts with exandria as real people do. and that is a fun way to interact with characters, i enjoy it a lot! but when i say imogen (to me, as i for some reason have to clarify on my own blog which implies that these are my own opinions and not absolute fact that needs to be accepted by people on the internet with different experience and opinions than me) is best read as a metaphor for generational trauma, it isn’t a dismissal of her queerness or her illness, it’s just me thinking looking at her from that angle is more compelling.

imogen has been one of my favourite characters and least favourite characters in campaign 3 because i tend to analyse her through a lens of generational trauma and she ends up looking extremely familiar to me as someone with a family that carries their’s heavily which is as comforting as it is frustrating.

for me the main thing that looking at imogen through a queer lens of literary analysis fails to account for is harm. on the one hand - the harm that imogen experiences, not because of how people treat her for who she is, but that exists simply as a factor of her being ruidusborn. on the other hand a the harm that imogen causes. not to say that she is some malicious villain waiting for her chance to harm others, but that there are things about being ruidusborn that very much do incline her towards violence in a way that she might not otherwise be - i think about the conversation after she went nuclear and chet brought up people being scared of her connecting that to her father keeping distance. the only harm that queerness provides comes from society, and that isn’t the case in exandria. even metaphorically, the thing that society fears in ruidusborn people (while it has certainly been exacerbated by centuries of superstition and practices like we saw in zephrah) is a tangible threat. imogen’s magic when not controlled can wipe out a city block, but queerness poses no threat.

that’s why i’m not compelled by imogen’s backstory as a queer metaphor. not because i’m some imodna anti (i very emphatically am not but this fandom kinda makes me wish i was sometimes) or because i think exandria’s lack of homophobia/transphobia means that characters can’t be viewed through a queer lens or that critical role doesn’t contain some of the most compelling queer metaphor i’ve encountered. imogen just isn’t one of those characters, not because she isn’t queer, or because i think her story shouldn’t resonate with queer people, just because i find the generational trauma angle more consistent.

it’s similar with the chronic illness angle, which i will refer to as illness but you’re welcome to emphasise pain, we all have different vocabularies for the experiences we face. but just to give context i’m running off laura’s comparison of imogen’s powers to her own sensory issues and anxiety which while often Lead to pain, fall more into chronic illness in imogen’s context to me. and i do think there’s substantial comparison for imogen’s story as a metaphor for chronic illness, but i think that was much more true earlier in the campaign than it is looking at her from the current context. her beginning motivation being her search for knowledge about her powers really resonated with me as similar to someone experiencing symptoms of chronic illness but who could neither figure out how to treat them or what they were caused by.

but then imogen got more information, specifically about her mother, and her priority became not understanding her powers but understanding her current state as a person - how had she become the person she is, inclusive of her powers but very much emphasising her lack of a mother who became more and more present in the unweaving web of ruidusborn lore. that’s when i was less compelled by the chronic illness reading and more compelled by viewing her as a metaphor for generational trauma. had that not been enough on its own, imogen’s visit to relvin and her recent thoughts on her mother would be enough to convince me.

the part that makes me hesitant about this post is that generational trauma is so intensely linked to the contexts under which it is created and perpetuated. so i can’t really point to specific scenes as evidence of specific things that prove generational trauma is the most compelling and i don’t really want to unload that much of my own experience to clarify my thoughts on a character. but vaguely, i will say that imogen’s relationship with her parents is obviously the clearest source for my reading her as a metaphor for generational trauma. the fact that relvin, the only person in her family without the thing that draws society’s ire, is also the person that she has the most willing anger at is also indicative of this to me. in general, imogen’s rage that so easily transitions into sadness and vice versa comes out a lot in conversations about parents. most recently, i think about ashton’s lovely speech about found family and his distrust about parents and how as they were speaking, laura seemed to be playing imogen as sadly in thought versus months ago when fearnes parents showed up with striking similarities to liliana and imogen’s words of wisdom were let’s hurt them all.

and like. to me that angersadnessvengeancegrief is particularly evocative of the feelings that arise when you are in a family with generational trauma, especially when you are aware of it. because imogen can and has followed the logical steps that have led her and her family to where they are. early on when recounting her relationship with her dad she seemed wistful but understanding of the distance between them. in nearly every encountered with a parental figure imogen seems to be some level of distrusting for the most part, but she’s still holding out hope that her mother will see the good side. and further, there’s the complication of how dire her losing her powers seems to be, and how inextricable her powers are from every aspect of her life. she’s also southern and from a blue collar family. this means nothing except it also means a whole lot.

this is messy and not well organised but if you want a good essay you’re gonna have to pay me money for it but tldr: i say things i believe on my This Is My Opinion Blog and i don’t think i need to explain my thoughts to strangers on the internet but this was already half written in my drafts and if people are gonna shit on my opinions please at least do it in good faith and shit on my actual opinions not the ones you’ve decided i have.

[idleoblivion]

"Hey Man I Love You, But No Fucking Way" Jamil Viper x GN Reader

Synopsis: The time has finally come for you to leave, but he isn't ready to lose you. Surely you'll hear him out, right?

Word count: ~900

A/N: I usually prefer fluff but thought I'd experiment with a little angst, though I don't think it's too intense. Never written any kind of yandere stuff before so sorry if it's tame.

Warnings: angst, yandere Jamil

This day was bound to come. He knew it, you knew it, everyone did. That didn’t make it any easier for him, though. 

He knew you had started bugging Crowley harder about going home after the second overblot. And harder again after the third, then his, and so on. He wanted to meddle, but Kalim kept him busy. Plus, his faith in Crowley was so low he thought he’d have more time. Time to win you over, time to convince you that your place was with him. And he had made progress, you two had become very close despite what went down in Scarabia over the holiday. But the time for you to go had come regardless. 

He knew you had people you missed and places you still wanted to see. He knew that at the end of the day, no matter how much he’d grown to like your presence, you were not meant to be in Twisted Wonderland. 

But he still held onto that naive hope he had that you would hear him out tonight. Perhaps too tightly.

“You know how much you mean to me, don’t you?”

“I do.” You answer almost emotionlessly.

“Then… then please-” ��Don’t ask me what you’re about to ask me. Don’t do that.”

He should’ve stopped there, but he couldn’t. If there was any chance of you staying with him, he had to fight for it. So he kept going.

“Please… you don’t know what my life was like before you. Please don’t leave me like this.”

You don’t say anything back. He could already feel himself unraveling, but tried to hold it together the best he could. 

“You’re the only person I can be myself around. You’re the only person who I can show what I’m actually capable of, the only-” “Jamil, you need to stop this. Now.”

“I love you.” He admits with desperation. “I love you, please, you can’t leave me like this. I’ll never…” he trails off, holding back tears.

“I love you too, Jamil…” You sigh deeply.

“Just not enough to stay?” He snaps without thinking. The look on your face immediately tells him that was the wrong thing to say. “How fucking dare you? You think you’re the only person I’m allowed to care about? I have people that I miss, Jamil. That I’ve been missing. I had a life before this school, sorry that hurts your feelings so badly.” He hadn’t expected you to get so angry with him. 

“I didn’t mean-” “I had a life. A life without magic and overblots. Where I didn’t spend every waking moment waiting for something else bad to happen. Where people didn’t want to fight me just for existing, and I wasn’t almost constantly in some kind of trouble or danger.” You’re crying now too, and you turn your back to him as you continue. “I can’t do it. I can’t stay. There’s nothing good for me here.” “What…what can I do? There’s has to be something I can do-” “No, there isn’t. I’m leaving tomorrow and that’s that. Stop making this harder than it needs to be.”

“I…I told you, I love you!” “And I told you I love you, but I can’t do this for you!” You wipe your face as you turn to face him again. “You think I’m happy about leaving you? Of course I’m not! But I’m not going to suffer here for your sake. I have to do this, for me. Why can’t you understand that?!”

And in that moment, he finally did understand. You didn’t want to hurt him. You weren’t trying to, you just needed to look out for yourself. He couldn’t blame you for that. You said you loved him, and he believed you. He watches you sniffle in front of him and put your face in your hands. He feels remorse for how this world has treated you, and guilt for not getting what you really meant at first. Yes, he understands perfectly. 

It was the rest of the world that was the problem. You could be happy in Twisted Wonderland, you just didn’t know it. With Crowley and overblots and other stress always wearing you down, of course you didn’t think you could stay. If you were constantly hurting, how could he expect you to?

But, why hadn’t you just said that from the start? If you knew how much you meant to him, didn’t you also know just how far he’d go for you? The mountains he would make move? The people he’d dispose of? Wouldn’t you do the same for him?

Of course, you would never have to do the same for him. He would do everything, take care of everything. Nothing would keep you two from each other. All you had to do was be with him and be happy. He could make that happen, he was sure of it.

He decides that those kinds of plans don’t matter right now, though. What matters most is that you’re about to make the biggest mistake of your life, and he isn’t going to let you.

“Look at me.” “Jamil, I’m done with this. I-”

“I get that, okay? Just…please, look at me one more time.” He was pleading, and his voice sounded so terribly dejected. You sigh again. You lift your head up from your hands and meet his eyes.

“I told you, I’m sorry. I really am. I-” “Snake Whisper. Follow me. You’re not going through that mirror.”

[rebee-sweetie]

*Slight smut and some fluff*

Bakugo can be such an ass. During the times he does his patrols and hero work he is honest to God, a jackass. Constantly yelling at pedestrians and his friends working along side him. His pride becoming of him. Even though he’s aged and matured in his adult years, not much changed in his mannerisms. Bakugo’s a top Pro Hero but still doesn’t realize kindness isn’t a weakness. But when you are doing hero work with him or doing a patrol he is so much worse. The yelling and degrading is constant. Even though the public knows you’re both in a relationship, it sure as hell doesn’t look like it. In the public eye he’s constantly telling you to,

“Keep up!”

“Ur’ such an damn idiot!”

“Fuck you!”

“DIE!”

The list could continue on. But today you had stepped a little too close to Katsuki and it just set him off. It was like you could see a nuclear bomb go off in this man’s eyes. A large, gloved hand palmed your face and pushed you away. His face seething and eyes burning a dark crimson. Bakugo’s eyebrows were knitted together and his glare was sharp as daggers. You felt like you could choke on the tension in the air as people around you watched the sight unfold. His thick fingers gripped at your rosy cheeks as he chewed your ear off about not paying attention to where you were walking. The chewing became a lecture on how letting your focus wander is an opportunity for a villain to take advantage. That was until Kiri stepped in and scolded him on talking that way to his significant other. But all you could do was smile. Because you knew something everyone else didn’t.

Your Suki was rough and angry on the outside, but he had a huge soft spot for you. When it was just the two of you, he was incredibly sweet and gentle. A side no one but you were allowed to. There were constantly flowers in your apartment sent from Bakugo. He always knew when they were starting to wilt because a new bouquet of flowers would be at your doorstep. The card would always read:

“Only the finest for my prettiest and only sweetheart.”

He knew your favorite flowers, foods, colors, and even childhood memories. When he first laid eyes on you, he knew he wanted you, your body, everything. He was going to have you. He was going to make you his and his alone. He made it his mission to know everything about you. He constantly spoiled you and when you’d casually mention something was cute or nice, you’d see it appear in your apartment quickly after. He loved cuddling you every chance he got, pulling you on top of his chest when laying on his couch. Overtime, he would slowly move you into his home, too prideful to come out and ask you to move in.

So even though you got the same treatment as everyone else in public, you were being treated like a Princess in private. You loved it, and even though he was rough with you when others were watching, there was never a bruise or scratch on you contrary to what some of the media might say. He was an asshole but he wasn’t abusive.

The cuddles were sweet but the kisses from him were even sweeter. His lips and skin like honey to you. He worshiped your body away from the prying eyes of the public. He knew each and every curve like the back of his hand. Sex with Katsuki wasn’t just hot but out of this world. He wasn’t lying about being naturally gifted at everything. His body always seemed to move so perfectly in line with yours and he knew your body in ways even you didn’t. When he was finished with you, you’d see stars. Sometimes he’d get you so good you’d wonder if you had seen God. You became a drug to him that he simply couldn’t get enough of. But in public, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He would rather die than show the world he could be soft. His whole personality was jagged like the callouses and scars that littered his body. You thought that maybe the reason he acted this way is because he was terrified of the idea of having vulnerabilities to the creatures that lured in the dark, waiting, praying for his downfall.

All you knew is that you loved the way he was, and you wanted nothing to change. You were extremely content being loved so passionately in the darkness. Because at the end of the day, that was your man and you were his woman. You even had the markings on your body to prove it.

[nana-mania]

“IN THE WAKE OF STARS” he realized he's at wrong, but at what cost?

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ oneshot

࿐*ೃ feat : michael kaiser

࿐*ೃ fandom : blue lock

࿐*ೃ extra : gn! reader, angst

࿐*ೃ trigger warning : toxic relationship, major angst

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ YOU never imagined that love could feel like this — like standing at the edge of a cliff, heart in your throat, staring into a void of unspoken words and lost time. Yet, here you are, watching him — Michael — the man you’ve loved for two years, the man who made you feel like you weren’t even real anymore.

“You’re always so clingy,” he spits the words like they’re a chore to say. "It’s pathetic."

It wasn’t always like this. You remember the early days, when his smile lit up rooms and his laughter was like music you could dance to. Michael, with his blond hair tousled perfectly, his sharp eyes full of ambition, was intoxicating. He had a fire in him, a drive to be better, to be more than everyone else.

You admired him for that, at first. Maybe you even envied him a little. But the closer you got to him, the more you realized how fragile that confidence was, how much of it was a performance for the world. And as that fragile arrogance grew, so did his cruelty.

Michael would stand in front of the mirror, tracing the blue rose tattoo on his neck, a symbol he claimed was for achieving the impossible. You would stand in the doorway, trying to remind him that he didn’t need to be impossible for you. You just wanted him to be there. To be present.

But he wasn’t. Not for you.

“You should’ve known what you were getting into,” he said once, during one of those long nights where you barely spoke, and when you did, it was only to wound each other. “I’m not like anyone else. I’m going to be the best. And you? You’re just… here.”

Just here. That was all you’d become to him — an afterthought. An accessory to his rise, nothing more. Your heart twisted every time he looked at you like that, like you were nothing. But still, you stayed. You thought if you could just be patient, if you could love him enough, he’d eventually see you again. The way he did in the beginning.

But Michael’s world didn’t have space for anyone else. He was the star of his own life, and everyone else, including you, was just a background actor. And yet, you stayed.

Until the night it all fell apart.

“Are you cheating on me?” His voice was cold, devoid of any warmth or trust. The accusation hit you like a punch to the stomach.

“What?” Your voice cracked, disbelief flooding your chest. “Michael, I would never—”

“Don’t lie to me.” He leaned in, his blue eyes hard, piercing, a storm of jealousy and superiority brewing in their depths. “I’ve seen the way you’ve been talking to Alexis. Do you think I’m stupid?”

Tears stung your eyes. You had only talked to Alexis because he was one of the few people who actually saw you, who noticed how small and invisible you had become in Michael’s shadow.

“I’m not cheating on you, Michael,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “But maybe if you paid more attention to me, you wouldn’t feel so threatened by someone who actually listens.”

For a moment, his expression faltered. Just for a second, you saw something human flicker in his eyes — doubt, fear, something close to regret. But then it was gone, replaced by that same arrogance.

“If you can’t be loyal, then leave,” he said, stepping back, his tone dismissive. “I don’t need you.”

That was it. That was the moment you broke.

Something inside you shattered, something that had been holding you together all this time. You weren’t angry anymore; you were just empty. Hollow. His words no longer had the power to hurt you because you had nothing left to feel.

So you left.

You packed your things that night, your hands shaking but your heart numb. Michael didn’t try to stop you. He didn’t say a word. And you didn’t look back.

Days turned into weeks, and you found yourself drifting closer to Alexis. He was kind, gentle, and in the quiet moments you spent together, you remembered what it felt like to be seen. To be heard.

Michael noticed. Of course he did.

At first, he didn’t care. Why should he? He was Michael Kaiser, the man who couldn’t be touched by anyone. But then he saw you laughing with Alexis. He saw the way your eyes lit up, the way you smiled — a smile he hadn’t seen in months, if not longer.

And suddenly, it hit him. The loneliness. The emptiness. The realization that the person he had taken for granted, the one who had always been there, was now smiling for someone else.

One evening, he showed up at your door.

"Y/n." His voice was softer than you remembered, quieter. “We need to talk.”

You stared at him, the man who had once been your whole world, standing there like a ghost of the past. You didn’t want to let him in. But some part of you, that old part that still remembered the good times, hesitated.

So you let him in.

“I’ve been thinking,” he began, pacing the room like a caged animal. “About us. About… me.”

You stayed silent, arms crossed over your chest. You couldn’t trust your voice, couldn’t trust yourself not to break down if you spoke.

“I was wrong,” he said finally, stopping to look at you. There was something in his eyes now that you hadn’t seen before — vulnerability. “I pushed you away. I got so caught up in trying to be… something, I didn’t see what I was doing to you.”

“Kaiser,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s too late.”

He flinched as though your words had physically hit him. “No. It’s not. We can fix this. I can fix this. I’ll do better, I swear.”

You shook your head, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “You don’t understand. I loved you, Michael. I gave you everything I had, and it still wasn’t enough for you.”

His hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I know, and I’m sorry. I was— I was so focused on surpassing everyone, I didn’t realize I was leaving you behind.”

You took a shaky breath, trying to hold yourself together. “Do you even hear yourself? You still think this is about you. It’s always been about you.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. He stood there, frozen, as the truth settled in.

“You can’t fix this,” you said, your voice breaking. “I’m broken, Kaiser. Because of you.”

He stepped forward, desperate now, his arrogance gone, replaced by something raw and desperate. “Please, Y/n. I’ll change. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

But it was too late. The cracks he had put in you had run too deep. The love you once had for him was gone, buried beneath the weight of his indifference, his cruelty. You had nothing left to give.

“I can’t,” you whispered, tears streaming down your face. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Michael stood there, watching you cry, watching the last remnants of your relationship crumble before his eyes. And for the first time in his life, he wasn’t the star. He was just another person who had lost the one thing that mattered.

You turned away from him, your heart shattered but resolute. This was the end.

And as he walked out of your life, you couldn’t help but wonder if he finally understood what it felt like to be left behind.

࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this short scenario! likes, interaction and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡

[destinationtrekk]

arcadia

This is only a dream, and you will never hear that laugh again.

1.9k, wesker lives, referenced sex, flashbacks, angst with a happy ending, also kind of ambiguous ending, descriptions of depression

a/n: all my fics are cross posted to my ao3. named after the lana del rey song. also, i have a post-re5 wesker playlist if anyone wants it!!!

-> masterlist

-> arcadia on ao3

This day starts out like every other day since he died. 

You wake up an hour before your alarm, though you think it’s generous to say you woke up if you never really slept. Your bedside clock reads 5:09 am, and you crawl out of bed anyway. You start getting ready for work, carelessly throwing on something vaguely professional looking. You had taken up managing a few of his labs. Not doing any real science of course, you were never as smart as him, but helping with hiring and on-boarding, being the pretty face that introduces young people to the insanity that is - was - his world. 

You think they pity you, his employees and peers, because they ask quietly how you are, what have you been up to, how are you liking the job? You know they just want the gossip on how their dead boss’ widow is surviving without him. You had no clue where his money came from, or his nice house, his expensive cars, your expensive car he bought you. You had just taken everything he gave you with a blush and a smile, with devotion to him that ran deeper than blood. 

You were worried, once you were able to stop crying and pleading for him to come home, how you could possibly manage to handle his assets. You quickly realized he had taken care of it, he had taken care of everything, just like he always had. A lawyer stopped by and handed you a few files, apologized kindly, and left. You only read enough to know that the house was yours, and you had enough money in your bank account to last you the rest of your life, if you were smart with it. 

Now, you look at yourself in the mirror, your eye bags covered perfectly in makeup, and you feel sick. His towel is still hanging behind the door. His cologne is still sitting next to your perfume on the counter. You can’t bear to touch either. 

You drive his black Jaguar to work. You remember when he brought it home, angry after a long day and storming into the house like there wasn’t a sparkling new car in the driveway. You had calmed him down, and kissed him sweetly until he let you drive it to town for dinner. You park the car at the lab and don’t look back. 

Your day drags on but you can’t remember any of it. Everyday feels like this. You smile politely and drink coffee, shake hands and sit in meetings, drink more coffee. After lunch you make two cups of coffee, and you stare at the second cup with too much sugar and no cream until your eyes burn. You give it to an intern and ignore them when they try to thank you. 

Your drive home is stunted by an hour of traffic, so you turn the music up until your head pounds and you aren’t tempted to look in the back seat, where he had fucked you so hard on your anniversary that he scratched lines in the leather with his nails. 

It’s raining when you finally pull into the driveway. You go straight for the shower, scrubbing until your skin is pink and staring at nothing but his half empty shampoo bottle. You go through the motions of cooking dinner, but you feel too sick to eat. It gets portioned away in the fridge, where you know you’ll eventually just give it to someone at work, claiming you’re not hungry. 

You lay on the couch for a few hours, eyes staring unfocused at the TV screen, until you migrate to bed. You do the same under the cold covers, which smell of nothing but laundry detergent now. Your eyes fixed blank on the ceiling. You doze off, just to repeat the day again, and again, and again.

You're splayed across the couch, his broad form crushing you into the cushions. You're both laughing, gasping for air and clutching at each other like teenagers. You don't remember the joke, but you do remember the way his blonde hair glowed like an angel across the table at dinner, lit by candles and the rosy haze of a bottle of wine, domestic in your kitchen. He sits up, straddling your thighs with his own, and looms over you. His eyes glow red in the dim room, and you smile so wide you swear your mouth would be stuck like that. He leans down, whispering sweetly against your neck, hands gliding over your clothes, under them, touching your skin-

This is only a dream, and you will never hear that laugh again.

Before you know it, nearly a year has passed. You had stopped going to the labs a month ago, and soon after the BSAA raided every known location of his research. You don't know who the rat was, but you're happy he's not here to see it. You've done nothing with your time except sit around, cook too much food for one person, and occasionally go running until you make yourself sick.

You're having a... better day than usual. It sets you on edge, thinking that you're on the path to heal and move on. You don't ever want to move on, to forget him, but it's inevitable. You had gone into his closet tonight, taking a sweater much too big for you that had long lost his smell. It was only the second time you had touched his clothes, but you thought you could handle it. Now, laying curled in bed, his sweater nearly swallowing you, you weren't so sure.

He's been gone for a week, and you've taken to sleeping in his shirts. The expensive fabric wraps around you in a poor mimic of his calloused touch, but it smells like him. When he finally comes home, he finds you curled up in bed, face buried in his pillow. Obviously, he has no choice except to drop everything and crawl under the covers, wrapping you tight in his arms. You groan as you come to, immediately smiling as you recognize the vice grip he holds your body in. It makes you laugh, and your joyous sound makes him smile into your neck.

"Nice shirt you have there," he rumbles, breath warm against your cheek. "Where did that come from?"

You giggle and turn in his arms, and you press your lips to his. "Just some guy I met, no one special."

He rolls you onto your back, gaze dark and adoring, and-

You snap awake. The front door alarm was blaring through the speakers downstairs, but it was silent by the time you jumped off the mattress. The alarm could only be turned off with a code, which meant-

You felt panic begin the climb up your throat, and you scrambled for his pistol, still tucked neatly in his bedside table. Your steps were quiet, the gun raised as you searched the house. Nothing was out of the ordinary, until you rounded the corner to the kitchen. You froze immediately, gun falling to your side as your eyes widened in shock.

Albert was hunched over the sink, white-knuckling the counter. His head shot up as the sound of your gasp, his eyes meeting yours in the reflection of the window. The gun clattered to the ground beside you and you nearly fell to your knees. His arms were around you in an instant, holding you up against his chest. A sob escaped you, and you squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head and struggling in his grip.

"Quit it, you animal." His voice was the same dark murmur, a deep rumble against your cheek as he held you still. One of his large hands was cupping your head against him, his other arm wrapped around your shoulders. He buried his nose in your hair, breathing deep while you cried and squirmed against him. "Relax, sweetheart, breathe."

A few moments later his grip has loosened enough for you to pull away, and your heart breaks all over again at the sight of him. His hair is longer than you've ever seen it, hanging limp over his forehead and curling slightly behind his ears. His eyes are a familiar red, but his exhaustion is palpable in the air around you. His hands come up to cup your cheeks, and your expression falls at the texture of his skin. Your head rears back, and you take his hands in yours. He's covered in thick scars, pink and white flesh rigid under your fingers. You look up at him, noticing the same scars climbing his neck and crawling over his cheekbone.You reach a hand up to cup his face, and a devastated sound leaves you when he leans into your palm. "Albert..."

He lets out a sigh and closes his eyes, turning to press his lips to your wrist. He doesn't need to say a word, not when you can still read each other perfectly even after a year apart. You can see it in the corners of his mouth, the stiff way he moves his shoulder, the rasp of his voice, like it takes too much effort to open his jaw. This isn't the same Wesker you lost. This is someone else entirely.

All at once, the person you used to be comes back, like you never lost them at all. You take his hand in yours and lead him to the guest bathroom downstairs, flicking the light on and pushing him to sit on the toilet lid. He's slouching and avoiding your gaze, an act so unlike him that it makes you pause. You make him undress to his boxers, and he obeys without question. Confusion and grief and relief are clouding your mind. You reach again for his cheeks, and you can tell he wants to resist but you pull him to face you anyway. Under the fluorescent lights his scars look even worse - no, you won't say worse, you love him - you trace the lines gently up to his cheekbone.

"Do they hurt?" You whisper, turning him to take a closer look.

He doesn't answer for a moment, and then barely tilts his head in a nod.

You apologize, and quickly pull your hands away. He grabs your wrists and holds you still, before correcting himself. "Just sensitive."

You can tell now that he isn't injured - he isn't bleeding at least. You spend a long moment just looking at him, taking in the ways his body has changed, and the ways it hasn't. He looks a little thin, his collar bones prominent, new scars riddling his skin that aren't from burns. However, the burns do continue past his neck. One of his shoulders looks, well, frankly it looks like it had been shredded - the thick burn scars the apparent reason for his stiff and pained movements on his right side. The scars continue down to his ribs, all the way to the v of his right hip, where they fade into smooth, unmarred skin.

The shock on your face must be apparent, because he reaches back for his shirt, and you quickly stop him, your voice breaking. "No, don't- I'm sorry, I just... how are you alive?"

He looks uncomfortable, his jaw clenched tight as he still avoids your eyes. "Honestly, I don't know. It's... a very long story." His voice is still hoarse, and you start to think it's not just from exhaustion.

He finally looks up at you, and his red eyes are wet. You decide then and there that, even if this is a dream, he's the most beautiful you've ever seen him.

"Then why don't you start from the beginning?"

[kuroshitsuji-scenarios]

Commission – Bestseller

Requested by: Anonymous

Pairing: Sebastian Michaelis x Reader

Words: 4,363

Prompt: Sebastian makes a contract with someone who wants to become the world’s bestselling author. This time, however, he's willing to spice things up a little.

Warnings: None.

[ commission me ]

At first, you wanted to shout: “Go to hell!” but quickly found it quite ironic and eventually sat back down, picked your pen up and pretended to be writing something in the notebook, while the only thing that appeared on the blank pages were curly lines. Honestly, you could hardly recall the last time you met someone who’d be as eager to get on your nerves as the man who was now standing in front of you. The smirk on his lips only proved that the whole conversation you just had went according to his sly plan and in the end he was gratified with your outburst of emotions. Not a very common occurrence, he had to add, and therefore even more pleasant to observe.

“My, my”, he shook his head in a disappointed manner, as if he was scolding a child. “I wasn’t aware that this kind of information will have such an impact on you. Could it be that you’ve grown worried?”

“Worried?” You shot him a deathly glare. “I’m not worried. I’m angry and I’m starting to consider which side you are actually on. What made you think that killing (or whatever happened to that journalist) was such a bright idea?”

The demon smiled, the expression on his face clearly amused as the whole situation seemed to be rather entertaining for him. It’s been a long time since he actually gave his new contractor a little push—not to the right side, of course, but rather to watch you struggle and keep the balance as you always did in the end. It was almost as funny as listening to people beg for their lives, while all of them knew that there was no coming back once he was summoned.

“Sebastian,” you hissed his name through the gritted teeth. “Answer me.”

“Well, I must disagree with you on using the term ‘bright’ regarding this little incident.” He pretended to be lost in thoughts, touching his chin and looking at the wall of your office where all the prizes, photographs taken with famous people of literary business and newspaper articles were framed and hung on display for everyone to see what you were capable of when it came to using an imagination and pen. Or keyboard, as it was nowadays. “I’d rather go for ‘enticing’. ‘Compelling’, perhaps. ‘Thrilling’ even. ‘Enjo—”

“That’s enough.” You interrupted his speech, considering it pointless and a waste of your precious time. “I don’t care why you did that, I want you to stop. You’re perfectly aware that I’ve been giving interview after interview for the last two weeks and I’m going to continue doing that no matter what kind of dirty games you decide to play behind my back.”

“How threatening…”

“Moreover,” You pointed a finger at him. “If you keep doing this, I’ll have the right to consider it as acting against the rules of our contract.”

“There was not a single rule included which could prevent me from adding a little spice to the generally boring outcome of events. I thought you were aware of that. Signing books, doing interviews, all of that blown to make your ego grow until it pops.” Sebastian clicked his fingers to highlight the meaning of his words. “Like a bubble.”

“Hilarious.” You couldn’t frown no more even if you tried. “Now let's get back on topic. I forbid you to interrupt my hard work with your silly, little demon games. You’ll have your reward in the end so right now you’re only wasting your own time, because no matter what you do, I simply won’t give up. It can take the next forty years to complete while you’re stuck here with me, it doesn’t matter. So if you want to finish it quickly, I’d recommend you getting out of my way.”

There was a spark of amusement behind the demon’s eyes as he carefully observed you—as if something in your words struck him in a pleasant way. Undoubtedly, he made a good choice while deciding to answer this new contractor.

“That’s exactly what I meant while speaking about the lack of something enticing,” he admitted before turning on his heel and heading out of the office, his fingers intertwined behind his back and the corners of his lips turned upward in an eerie smile.

Pouring rain hitting the windows reminded you of a thousand fingers patting the glass in an unrhythmical manner. Focusing on a single droplet sliding down to the window frame didn’t help you concentrate, especially not with the pleasant silence now filling your bedroom up nor the fact that the last time you allowed yourself to rest was more than nineteen hours ago. Your body was giving you more significant signs of exhaustion with every passing minute and yet, you didn’t want to waste any of your time. Not when you’ve gotten to the perfect plot twist of your upcoming story—the second volume of the world’s bestseller book sold in millions of copies all around the globe. Although your success was guaranteed, you couldn’t simply sit and do nothing while waiting for applause. 

You jolted when the sudden thud hit the glass right next to the desk where you were sitting. It was loud, like a lost pigeon didn’t notice the window and flew into it at full speed but when you stood up to check whether it was hurt, laying somewhere near, it was impossible to notice any sharp shapes in the downpour. Perhaps it flew away or maybe it was just your brain tricking you into finally going to bed. Whatever it was, eventually it made you close the laptop and rub your tired eyes until you saw the stars behind the eyelids—and when you opened them again, you found out that the shadow in the corner of the bedroom is unusually dark compared to the rest. 

Almost as if there was a tall, slim figure standing there, facing the wall, covered in black robes.

Your initial reaction was paralyzing terror. Blood ran down from your face and in the next moment blew in your heart causing your cheeks to immediately heat. You could only sit there, watching the silhouette with unblinking eyes as your mind wanted to scream, to run, to fight, to—

“Sebastian.” The demon’s name left your lips almost involuntarily, just like shouting ‘help!’ came naturally to the drowning man. “I order you to stop this nonsense immediately.”

At first, nothing happened and for a moment you thought that maybe you weren’t even in your bedroom anymore, that the image in front of you was but a photograph glued to your face while the real you was dead, burning and bleeding and shrieking and—

“My, my��” You blinked at the sound of a familiar voice and the shadow from the corner was gone; surprisingly, you could also breathe freely again. “There’s no fun with you…”

Instead of the terrifying derealization, you were once again safe in your bedroom, everything in its own place. By the door, however, stood Sebastian with the same amused smirk on his handsome face, as if it was the only genuine emotion he was actually capable of showing.

“Fun?” You stood up from the chair, your fingers still slightly trembling after the heavy anxiety attack.

“I was worried that you might get some kind of… writer’s block, as they say,” he stated and nodded matter-of-factly. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you losing your spirit.”

Oh, how much you wanted to rip that happy expression off his face. Or maybe slap him. Or both. In all honesty, you could do it by giving him a simple order and yet, it didn’t feel right. What kind of satisfaction would you get from simply forcing him into your own will instead of actually making him feel a certain way? The leash you got him on was rather long, as the demon was almost free to roam around and do as he pleases, and maybe that was why you found those rare moments of his confusion so precious. 

And so, instead of scolding him or making him apologize, you simply decided to say:

“If you’re getting so bored during our contract, perhaps you’d enjoy it if we played fetch for a while? I have a feeling that it might be just your cup of tea.”

He didn’t say anything and yet, you could feel his disapproving stare burning into your back as you walked to the wardrobe. Surprisingly though, the memory of the silhouette in the dark corner still seemed to linger in your memory, although not as a bad one. Instead, you couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t just what you were looking for to fill the plot in the next chapter of your book.

“I can’t believe it…” you muttered, raising the menu card higher in front of your face to hide it from the not-so-subtle photographer who was waiting for his perfect shot outside the café. So far, you managed to run inside the building without being filmed and you could call it quite a success considering how tense the situation grew since the latest news got released to the public.

“The greatest author of the decade caught in love!” 

“Who is the mysterious man by her side?”

“Can we expect the next volume to be delayed due to the newfound romance?”

The headlines of newspapers and celebrity gossip websites were screaming at you from every angle—so much that you started to wonder if there would be a journalist jumping out of your own fridge to ask a few questions before lunch. Since the rumor about your romance—yours and Sebastian’s—were fairly new, you still didn’t manage to calm the public with some words of truth and a little sneak peek into your personal love life. Not that it was your intention, it was all but a play, of course. Another necessary step taken to avoid getting accused of the disappearance you certainly had nothing to do with.

Which you couldn’t say about the demon sitting right next to you by the table.

“Me neither,” Sebastian clicked his tongue, while still eyeing the menu. “The prices have surely gone up since the last time I’ve been there. Not that it’s an issue with your budget now, is it?”

If you didn’t know better, you might have believed that the kind smile he put on was sincere. Still, with the amount of knowledge you possessed and the time you wasted on trying to clean up after his mischief, you wanted nothing but to make him regret everything he’s ever said or done. He was the one to put you into this situation, after all. Like a single puppy left home alone, Sebastian went first for your new slippers, then the table leg and now he was chewing on your precious sofa—the couch meaning your privacy and relative peace of mind.

“Don’t give me that look.” He placed the menu back on the polished wood. “It wasn’t me who said that we were dating.”

“You forced me to do this! How else could I get a reliable alibi that I didn’t, in fact, murder anyone and especially not my own best friend?”

“I’m certain there was a lot of different ways to prove that.” He waved at the waiter. “Did you pick your order yet?”

“I’m not hungry.” You whispered something about going to the toilet when the waiter approached you two and only came back when he was gone, now your favorite beverage waiting for you at the table and Sebastian slowly sipping his tea.

“Besides,” he continued after you sat back down, moving your chair so your back was facing the window. “This outcome isn’t so bad, as you can see. You’re now even more famous than before.”

“I didn’t want to be some stupid celebrity and have people wonder what kind of bikini I wear and whether I have cellulite or not—I wanted to be known for my hard work. It’s something completely different than being stalked for having a guy like you nearby.”

“A guy like me?” He raised his slim eyebrow. “I doubt that would make it to the first pages.”

“I don’t care. I need to figure it all out and you’re going to help me whether you like it or not.”

“How overbearing.” Sebastian chuckled. “Enlighten me then, how do you plan on making it right?”

That’s where he got you. You still didn’t have any solid plan to retrieve your freedom and intimacy back and with all this chaos happening around you, with the demon constantly scheming against you behind your back, you felt quite overwhelmed. 

“That’s exactly what I thought.” He took a sip of his tea and placed the teacup back on the saucer. “And I suppose I have a perfect solution for this problem.”

“Meaning?” You wondered, hoping that this time you would finally hear some more useful news than another joke or allusion.

Instead of answering, Sebastian gently reached to you and placed his warm hand upon your cheek, caressing your lips with the featherlike touches of his thumb. His gaze was focused on you, slowly trailing from your eyes, through the curve of the nose down the mouth and back up again. He smiled at you but this time there was no insincerity behind it but rather pure fascination. Amazement, even, and one could say that also adoration.

It’s been a long time since Sebastian took a look at your soul, after all. Although he was present in your life almost everyday, it was quite rare for you to open up to him—you weren’t the type to cry your eyes out on his shoulder nor beg him for love. On the contrary. And for some odd reason he found it the most amusing—your soul, your price waiting to be paid hidden from his gaze, except for those tiny moments like this one when he was finally capable of looking you in the eyes and almost tasting your spirit at the tip of his tongue.

The sensation made him shiver with anticipation.

Eventually, Sebastian leaned forward and after not witnessing any kind of resistance from you, placed a soft, sweet kiss upon your lips. His own were still warm from the temperature of the tea he drank, tasting like herbs and honey, and his smell overwhelming your senses when you gave up to this gentle affection and closed your eyes to savor it. For the first time in months your heart started to beat faster but not because of stress or fear but rather excitement—something so trivial, you wouldn’t expect yourself of.

Sebastian kissed you slowly, barely nibbling at your lips and not taking any step further. His fingers left your cheek with an unpleasant coldness and rested at the crook of your neck, slightly pulling you closer but not strong enough to make you feel caged. Involuntarily you leaned toward him also, supported by the elbows on the wooden table and not paying attention to the fact that you have just most likely exposed yourself to all the people passing by the café. If the creepy paparazzi was still there, he had a once in a lifetime opportunity to immortalize the first official kiss of yours with your mysterious company.

And somehow, you thought it was alright. If you wanted your alibi to be solid, you should prove to everyone that Sebastian was, indeed, your husband and the mysterious disappearances had nothing to do with you. 

Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth.

Initially, Sebastian was like some kind of hideous decoration standing in the middle of the living room—painted in vivid colors, with weird, eye-catching shape and not fitting to any particular home decoration style. You could place an elephant there as well and the overall effect it had on the guests would be quite similar. He was an interruption, a sudden chance of weather, an anomaly in your life, the one you called for yourself and although you considered him to be a hassle most of the time, as months passed you found yourself paying less and less attention to the abstract puzzle at the center of the jigsaw. It wasn’t that he was becoming less visible or having less impact on your everyday life—on the contrary, Sebastian’s actions were as ostentatious as always, it was just you who started to tolerate and maybe even like the strange addition to your new life.

Indeed, one could even accuse you of enjoying his company too much, especially when you were sharing a bed, tangled in the bedding and droplets of sweat glistening on your temple. His fingers were delicate and movements calculated to bring you nothing but pleasure when he was caressing and massaging your naked body. In those moments, you found him beautiful. With a warm gaze, perfectly cut lips, strong jaw and slim silhouette he could stand on the same pedestal as countless of Greek sculptures stood. Right now, however, he was not cold as marble but rather soft and attentive, all the previous flirts replaced by what could be described as nothing but endless love and adoration.

Fortunately, you knew better than to trust the perfect mask he chose just for you. It didn’t stop you from indulging into the pleasure, though, for how could you deny yourself a spark of joy when in the end it was supposed to be him to devour your whole existence and turn you into nothing? It would be a shame to not take everything this man, this demon, had to offer.

You were walking down the shore, the view of setting sun rays dancing over the nearby buildings making it seem like the whole world has somehow turned into molten gold. Yellows and oranges painted your surroundings into the real piece of art, something you weren’t sure anyone could ever capture on the canvas with mere brushes. The town you decided to stay in (small and rather unknown, free from the crowds of tourists) had everything you could possibly need for an effective rest and refreshing inspiration—restaurants by the sea, both museums and clubs, promenade near the beach and a whole street of various shops. It was truly something new, the change of scenery making it easier to breathe and prepare for the upcoming premiere of a brand new video game based on your story alone.

You could say a lot of things about Sebastian and how he managed to get on your nerves like nobody else, but you had to admit that there wasn’t a single slip in his plan to make your biggest dream come true. Everything he promised you was truly happening, step by step, one at a time, but eventually you could clearly see the results. As much as you loved it, you couldn’t not notice how it was all leading to the end of your own story also.

“Lost in thoughts?” Sebastian asked, his long fingers intertwined with yours as you slowly passed by the sailboats docked to the pier. “Were you thinking about the grand premiere?”

“I thought I had nothing to worry about in this regard.” You peeked at him from under your sunglasses. “Was I mistaken?”

“No, not in the slightest. I assure you I took care of everything.”

“So it’ll be an indisputable success?” You insisted.

“Are you doubting your own skills all of a sudden?”

For the first time you left him without an answer. Perhaps it was the matter of the different surroundings or maybe it was the setting sun that brought this mood to you, but watching as it slowly drowned in the endless ocean you wondered how it will feel to have your soul sucked out of you. Will it hurt? Will you be scared? Or maybe you won’t notice it at all? Was it up to Sebastian to decide on how he will take it?

Your dreams were coming true, the very thing you craved for such a long period of time was finally yours, kept in your hands and there was no obstacle nor foe that could take that away from you, so why were you getting nostalgic all of a sudden?

“Should I take it as a ‘yes’?” Sebastian’s voice brought you back to reality but he didn’t give you enough time to answer. “My, my, I didn’t take you for an insecure type.”

“You shouldn’t worry your pretty, little head about things you won’t understand. Emotions are not your strong point, if I remember correctly?”

He chuckled but admitted you were right.

The oranges turned into burning red, making it seem as if the horizon was on fire. Behind your back, the sky was slowly fading from all its colors, leaving the thick stripes of pale pink, purple and navy blue at the east. You could spot a few stars shyly appearing there.

“I merely did what you ordered me to,” Sebastian continued and to your surprise, added further:. “I cannot say whether you would be able to achieve it with or without my intervention.”

“What do you mean?” You frowned.

“I’m speaking about the ‘right place and right time’ occurrence. Surely you know that your work is good as it is, don’t you?”

You stopped and looked at him confused, not really understanding where he was going with all this dialogue and unexpected confession. Pulling him slightly by the hand, you forced him to stop also.

“Explain yourself. Or should I get worried about you having a sun stroke?”

The demon tilted his head and you thought that he was going to kiss you again, just to make you forget about all those questions and doubts. Nevertheless, he knew that you were smart and wouldn’t simply be silenced by some sweet nothings.

“What do you think I did to make all your books bestsellers?”

You shrugged. It could be some kind of his hellish magic or personal charm which allowed him to get whatever he wanted wherever he got. Quite difficult to tell for an ordinary human, since he never bragged about his methods and you never cared enough to ask.

“I’m aware that you’re not familiar with my ways of working,” he admitted. “However, influencing a group of people can be rather troublesome, not to mention when the target group is reaching almost the whole world. Simply put, it would cost me a lot of time and energy to force them all into purchasing your precious books, leaving flattering reviews and recommending further and so, I decided to wait instead.”

“For the ‘right place and time’?” you quoted him.

“Exactly.” He gently pulled you after him so you could continue the afternoon stroll in the sunset. “I was waiting and observing the people involved until finally the perfect opportunity struck. That’s when I whispered a word or two to those who were in charge of certain matters, sneaked a copy of your manuscript et voilà! It doesn’t change the fact that the one who created and wrote those stories was you.”

The sounds of small waves swinging in the shore filled your brain with peaceful, rhythmical melody when you were analyzing Sebastian’s words over and over again. You were walking mindlessly by his side now, too lost in thoughts to notice that the circle of light finally hid behind the horizon and left the whole palette of colors above your head. The salty smell of the water was reaching your nose and you could hear people chatting and laughing somewhere in the distance—there was also music playing in one of the gardens of a nearby restaurant.

It was such a peaceful scenery, it completely didn’t match the chaos in your mind.

“Are you…” You cleared your throat, finding it difficult to form your thoughts into sentences. “Are you saying that I could have achieved all of that without your help?”

Sebastian smiled at you with such an adoration that it made your blood run cold.

“And you knew it from the very beginning? From the day we met?” You insisted, feeling as his silence started to fuel the spark of anger inside your heart.

“No, I cannot predict the future. All I did was calculate the turn of events and pick the best moment to strike. If it turned out that your books were a complete failure, then I’d have to intervene in a different way but fortunately, they were not. I suppose I can share this little secret of mine now that you almost reached your final goal.”

Your fingers were suddenly cold against his, the fresh breeze caressing the heated skin on your cheeks when you turned to the side and looked at the endless sea. You wondered if perhaps it was better to not know the truth and die clueless.

The smile which appeared on your lips was rather surprising to Sebastian and maybe it surprised even you. Whatever his intentions were, he wasn’t expecting you to react positively to this kind of news—you could cry and wail, cursing him for using you for his own gain, you could argue with him, accuse him of breaking the rules of the contract or tricking you into believing that you were completely hopeless without him, you could do anything! And yet, you simply smiled and then let out a happy chuckle.

Then, without a warning, you were the one to pull him to the side and head toward the restaurant where you could hear the music playing.

“Are you not going to respond in any way?” Sebastian frowned and you could clearly see that it was the first time in many centuries that someone managed to puzzle him.

You looked at him over your shoulder and pushed the sunglasses up your head to meet his stare. Then you laughed at his confused expression, so different from the everpresent smugness and confidence, and you swore that whatever was going to happen, it was worth living all those years, even if just for witnessing him making this face at how far he still was from understanding human nature.

“Well, what can I say?” You shrugged. “I told you I’m the best writer in the world.”

[ commission me ]

[kikyoupdates]

Heartbreaker ⭑˚💔⭑ 𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑢𝑝

bnha x f!reader

reverse harem, isekai, my hero academia x fem!reader, slowburn

You awaken one day with virtually no memories. The only thing guiding you is some strange system that likes to dictate your every move, and for some reason, it insists that you make certain people fall in love with you. Desperate for answers, you decide to go along with its demands. After all, how hard can it be?

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Compared to Katsuki, Izuku was much easier to get along with.  

He struck you as rather timid, but despite the fact that you’d only just met, something told you that he was a good person. You weren't sure why, but you could just tell. And at the very least, you were off to a good start since you’d helped him out.  

“Are you okay now?” you asked.  

Izuku nodded hastily. “Y-Yeah. It’s no big deal. Kacchan’s always getting angry at me for one reason or another. But I appreciate you cutting in. Most people wouldn’t. Actually, it’s the first time anyone ever has.”  

Kacchan? 

You supposed it was Katsuki’s nickname or something. While you didn’t know the exact nature of their relationship, the hateful glare Katsuki had given you when you’d intervened—plus the way Izuku had basically cowered from him—was enough to tell you that they didn’t get along.  

In that case, how the hell were you supposed to win both of them over? Katsuki had lost his shit when you’d helped Izuku out. The whole thing was giving you a massive headache.  

But again, you remembered that you had no choice. There was no way around it but to follow the system’s orders.  

Anything was better than being tormented for eternity.  

“Anyways, I’m really sorry for bothering you,” Izuku blushed. “You’re probably busy. I didn’t mean to keep you for too long.”  

“I’m not busy,” you insisted. It was technically true. You’d been in the middle of completing your 5-kilometer run as part of your daily task, but otherwise, you had all the time in the world. Besides, one of your targets was right in front of you. You needed to take advantage of this opportunity and get to know him as much as possible.  

And if the system was actually telling the truth... the more people you got to fall in love with you, the more of your memories would return, right?  

That was a hard if, though.  

“Do you want to hang out for a bit?” you blurted. You hoped you weren’t coming across as too forward, but you couldn’t risk him leaving right now. You had no idea when you would meet again.  

Izuku’s face was only getting redder. “H-Hang out? You mean... with me?”  

“Of course. There’s no one else here, is there?”  

For reasons you couldn’t quite explain, he seemed in utter disbelief that you wanted to spend time with him. It didn’t really make sense. He seemed like a perfectly nice person, unlike his hotheaded counterpart.  

Eventually though, Izuku swallowed and nodded his head.  

“If you’re sure you don’t mind, then yes,” he said, smiling shyly. “I would like that.”  

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄:

[𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮.]

[+𝟏𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

Yes!  

This was going a lot better than you’d expected, and you had Izuku’s kind nature to thank for that. You weren’t sure exactly what happened when you maxed out your love points, but for now, you seemed to be on the right track.  

You grinned. “Okay, well, what do you want to do? I’m not super familiar with the area, if I’m being honest. Is there anywhere we can sit down for a little while and chat?”  

“Ah, there’s a park nearby. Would that be alright?”  

“Sure! Lead the way.”  

You walked side-by-side, and you quickly came to realize that Izuku wasn’t the best at striking up a conversation. His shyness made him more likely to shrink on himself, but despite the silence that settled over the two of you, it wasn’t unpleasant. Even just being next to him had a way of lifting your spirits. 

You caught him stealing glances at you every so often, and his blush had yet to desist.  

[𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲.]

[+𝟏𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

Now it was your turn to blush. Jeez, these updates were useful as far as knowing how your actions were affecting the people you wanted to get close to, but it was a bit weird being so aware of their thoughts. You felt guilty about it, to a certain degree, even though it was completely out of your control. 

“It’s just over there,” Izuku eventually perked up. “There are benches where we can sit down. How does that sound?”  

“Sounds perfect,” you beamed.  

Izuku returned your smile with one of his own, and he looked more confident doing so this time. You had to admit that he was pretty cute. He had a way of coming across as endearing. It was nice that he was one of the people the system wanted you to win over, because you imagined you would probably grow to love his company.  

Before long, you’d taken a seat on a park bench. Izuku was wary of keeping a bit of distance between the two of you. Most likely not because he didn’t want to be near you, but because he was too embarrassed to get close.  

“So,” you began. “Since we still don’t know each other very well... maybe you could start by telling me what kind of things you’re into?” 

Izuku paused for a few moments, lacing his hands together, then gave you a cautious look. “Um. I-I like heroes. I think they’re super cool.”  

You were officially lost.  

Heroes? What does he mean by that?  

As if predicting your thoughts, the system decided to chime in.  

[“𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤𝐬? 𝐂𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜. 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫��𝐞𝐥𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐬 𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬. 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐣𝐨𝐛. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞, 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐬.”]

Interesting. You supposed it made sense. There were bound to be people that exploited their powers, but also those that kept them in check.  

Based on Izuku’s expression, he seemed quite eager to get into this topic, even though he was trying to suppress his excitement. He probably idolized heroes, and for good reason. It sounded like they were actively risking their lives to help others. It was an admirable job.

“Heroes are awesome,” you seconded. You obviously meant what you said, despite having no memories to guide you.  

Izuku’s lips split into a grin. “Which hero is your favorite?”  

“Uh.”  

Balls. You were perfectly content to pile onto his enthusiasm, but you didn’t actually know any heroes by name. If you didn’t give him a convincing response though, he would realize you were just talking out your ass.  

Mercifully, the system came to your rescue.  

[“𝐒𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐇𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝, 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦.”]

“A-All Might is really cool,” you stammered. “He’s just, um... awesome. I like him a lot.” 

It turned out that was the right answer, because Izuku’s grin widened tenfold. 

“I know, right!” he gushed. “He’s the most amazing hero out there! I’ve watched pretty much all the content there is on him, and I’ve got tons of his collectibles too! He really is incredible. The way he saves people with a smile, no matter what. He’s honestly my idol. I want to be just like him when I grow up! And—”  

Izuku stopped mid-sentence, a violent flush spreading across his freckled cheeks.  

“S-Sorry,” he said shamefully, looking away from you. “Sometimes I get a bit too excited when I talk about heroes, especially if it’s All Might. I bored you, didn’t I?”

You smiled encouragingly. “It wasn’t boring at all. I think it’s good to be passionate about things. Heroes do amazing work by keeping people safe, so why wouldn’t you be excited to talk about them?”  

“Oh. I guess that’s true. It’s just that most people can’t be bothered to listen.”  

Izuku’s smile slowly returned, and you heard a familiar ping.  

[𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧.]

[+𝟏𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

Wow. This is going really well.  

You tried not to feel too guilty. The system aside, you were enjoying your time with him. The things you were saying weren’t shallow or purely motivated by personal interest. You didn’t have any memories, and you were terribly alone and afraid. You would be elated to have a friend to stand by you amidst all of this.  

“If I’m being honest,” Izuku continued, looking a bit more hesitant now, “I really want to become a hero myself. It’s an ambitious goal, though. I know it won’t be easy. I'm worried it might not even be possible, actually.”  

You frowned. “Why is that?”  

“Because, I... I don’t have a Quirk.”  

Once he uttered the words, he looked over at you fearfully, as if he was worried that you might react with complete disgust. Naturally, you had no intention of doing that, and technically speaking, you didn’t have a Quirk either. The system’s powers were apparently completely different from the rest. In that sense, you and Izuku were alike.  

The system had told you that heroes used their Quirks to protect the public, but that didn’t mean that you needed a Quirk in order to save others. The definition of a hero, from what you knew, was someone who was admired for their bravery and self-sacrifice. You didn’t necessarily need outlandish powers to be worthy of that admiration.  

“A person doesn’t need a Quirk to be a hero,” you said, and you fully believed those words. “I think it has more to do with what kind of person you are. How much you care for others and want to help them. If becoming a hero is something you really want, and it means enough to you that you’ll work hard to achieve it, then there’s no reason you can’t be one. That’s my take on it, at least.”

You worried that you’d come across as a bit insensitive. It sounded like most people had Quirks, so Izuku had probably felt like an outsider for a very long time. But you still held true to your words. Your gut was telling you that he had what it took to become a hero. Perhaps it was a bit baseless, but you felt very sure of this fact.  

Izuku had been silent for a while, but out of nowhere, tears welled up in his eyes. 

Shit! 

“Don’t cry!” you spluttered. “I’m sorry, uh... I wasn’t trying to upset you! I shouldn’t have spoken like I knew everything about you when we’ve only just met—” 

“No,” Izuku sniffled, wiping his tears away. “Please don’t apologize. I was just happy. No one’s ever said that to me before. Not even my own mom told me I could become a hero after I found out I was Quirkless. I was just overwhelmed by emotion. I-I've been told I cry a lot, so don’t worry. Your words made me incredibly happy. Thank you so much, [Name].”  

He proceeded to smile through his tears, and it was so genuine that your heart throbbed in your chest.  

[𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮.]

[+𝟒𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

[𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬: 𝟏𝟎𝟎/𝟏𝟎𝟎]

Holy cow! That was a lot of points. And I just maxed them out. Did I do it? There’s no way it was that easy, right?  

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄:  

[𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐮𝐩! 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 “𝐚𝐜𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞” 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 “𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝”. 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝.] 

[𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬: 𝟎/𝟐𝟎𝟎]

Ah. That made sense. The system said the end goal was for your targets to fall in love with you, but that obviously couldn’t just happen in the blink of an eye. You would have to gradually develop your relationships and advance bit by bit. It was still a relatively fast progression, though. You imagined this was only the case because Izuku was such a nice person. Getting someone like Katsuki to become your friend would be infinitely more challenging.  

You decided to test that the system’s analysis was actually correct and leaned closer to Izuku, smiling gently.  

“There’s no need to thank me. I just said what I was honestly thinking. Anyways, this might seem a bit forward, but... would you like to be my friend? We could maybe exchange numbers and keep in touch. Only if you want to, of course.”  

Izuku was as red as ever, but nodded eagerly. “Yeah! I’d love that! Um, I-I mean... yes, please,” he chuckled sheepishly.  

It seemed like the system was pretty spot on. You supposed for the most part, you could trust that its status updates were accurate. There was another problem, though.  

You didn’t actually have a phone.  

[“𝐈 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐬𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭. 𝐔𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫.”]

Izuku was waiting patiently with his phone in hand, so you felt pretty silly pulling out a pencil and piece of paper, but for now, it would have to do. 

“My phone broke recently,” you decided on. “I’ll just write down your number and add you once I get a new one.”  

“Okay!”  

Just like that, you’d officially gotten your first phone number since waking up without any memories. You had a friend now. Even though there was next to nothing you knew about yourself, this small fact comforted you a great deal.  

You carefully tucked the paper with Izuku’s number on it back into your wallet, making a mental note to buy a phone as soon as possible.

You and Izuku stayed a while longer to chat. He gushed more about different heroes he liked, and apparently, he was so dedicated about his dream of becoming a hero that he kept various notebooks with detailed notes on hero analysis. He promised to show you the next time you met up, to which you nodded eagerly.  

You were having so much fun that time passed faster than you realized. Ultimately, your stomach grumbling was what brought you back to reality. You hadn’t had a bite to eat in nearly a full day, and you were starting to get lightheaded.  

“I have a few things to finish doing, so I should probably leave now,” you said, even though you honestly would’ve liked to stick around longer.  

Izuku looked a bit dejected too, but he realized this wasn’t the last time the two of you would meet. “Thank you for staying with me,” he smiled. “I had a lot of fun. I-I hope it was fun for you too.”  

“It was! I feel really at ease around you,” you grinned. “I can tell we’re going to be great friends.”  

Izuku blushed again. “T-Thank you for saying that. I feel the same way. Um... make sure to message me once you get your new phone so that I can add you to my contacts, okay?”  

“Of course. You’ll be the very first person I add to my list.”  

He seemed pleased with your response, and you eventually waved each other off. Despite Katsuki getting mad at you earlier, all in all, the day was going really well.  

Now, then. It was time to finish up your run and get some damn food, otherwise you were seriously going to collapse.  

[𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝! 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐲 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰.]

“A pillow, huh?” you sighed. You supposed you shouldn’t have expected much, considering how simple the task was. Oh, well. It was better than nothing. At least you had something to rest your head on while you slept on your futon.  

After finishing your daily task, you gorged yourself on some fast food. You didn’t have the patience to sit down at a restaurant and wait for a full meal, but it did a good job of filling you up. You felt a lot better now. 

You had a lot of errands to attend to, so you would have to hit up the mall soon. You definitely needed new clothes alongside a phone, since you only had the one outfit you’d woken up in. You took a shower and threw your clothes in the washing machine once you got back home, and it was tedious, to say the least. Especially since you were now completely naked apart from the covers of the futon you were curled up in while you waited for your clothes to be ready.  

There wasn’t anything for you to really do in your painfully empty house, so you just laid down and stared up at the ceiling.

[“𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐭. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬. 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮.”]

[𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐮𝐩 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝟏) 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭.]

You scratched your head. “What’s a skill point?”  

[“𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲. 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.”] 

“Why would I need to fight?”  

[“��𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞, 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞. 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐨𝐛𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬, 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐢𝐧. 𝐎𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐚 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭, 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝. 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐭. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.”]

Once again, you had plenty of questions, but no concrete answers. Oh, well. Becoming stronger wasn’t a bad thing by any means. Especially if there were villains with powerful Quirks looking to cause trouble. There was certainly no harm in being able to protect yourself.  

Based on what the screen displayed, the options you could choose from were strength, agility, and vitality. They all seemed pretty self-explanatory, and you figured you would benefit the most from having a bit more power.  

[𝐀𝐝𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝟏) 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡?]

>>[𝐘𝐄𝐒]

Once you confirmed your selection, a strange light surrounded your body. It was just for an instant, but you felt different somehow. You really did get stronger, even if only a little. 

“Cool,” you said, bringing the covers closer to your chest. “It’s nice to know that I can get stronger over time. Right now though, I just really want some clothes. It isn’t fun just laying around while naked. I’m starting to freeze my butt off. Also... you can see me, can’t you?”

[“𝐈’𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐝𝐮𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭. 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭. 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬.”] 

“Why are you making me sound like I’m some kind of nudist? Jeez.”  

You let your head rest on the pillow you’d just gotten. It definitely was comfy, you had to give credit where it was due.  

All in all, a lot had happened today, but you were slowly making strides. Now that Izuku was your friend, you weren’t completely alone anymore. And hopefully soon, your memories would return. You wanted to remember.  

Even if you didn’t like what you saw.

[𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞]’𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞:  

>> 

Power: 2/6 D  

Speed: 1/6 E  

Technique: 1/6 E  

Intelligence: 3/6 C  

Cooperativeness: 5/6 A  

Confusion: 100/6 S+  

>>  

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒:  

𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 (𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝): 𝟎/𝟐𝟎𝟎 

𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 (𝐚𝐜𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞):

(Additional entries in progress...)  

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[rrenzwrld]

isn’t she lovely?

eren x pregnant! black reader

— the birth of his daughter becomes one of the best days he’s ever lived.

another bs from my notes but i like this concept so i will be adding to it whenever i can

— what to expect, when you’re expecting

Eren spent majority of his life worrying about nobody but himself and what was important to him. For a while, the life of no one else had no meaning if it wasn’t the life himself or the lives of the only two friends he had. That was until he met you. You came into his life all pretty and positive. Not a negative thing about you and he loved that. And that alone made him love everything else about you. Regardless of how you were feeling or what either of you were feeling, you always made sure that no one was upset and you made it your responsibility to have everyone else taken care of before yourself. It was as if you were this magical being sent down to make his life significantly better and he planned to keep you in it.

You were only in his life for two short years until you became pregnant. While Eren freaked out and thought this would ruin both of your lives, you were as happy as you could be. Even though the both of you were fresh into your 20s, your dream of being a mother was strong. From the little age of five playing with small baby dolls, to volunteering to babysit your neighborhood’s children, you were finally at a place in life where you were able to have a child of your own. A real child. A real child with your blood running through their veins and you knew without a doubt that part of them would belong to you.

Eren on the other hand had to figure out a way to tell his parents without disappointing them along with disappointing himself even more than he had.

“My dad is gonna fucking kill me.” He ran his hands through his hair before dragging them back down his face. You rested your head on his shoulder and held onto his arm.

“No he’s not. You’re overreacting.”

“This is a whole baby we’re talking about, Y/n… there’s no way we’ll be able to do this.” His discouragement offended you.

“Well, you can leave,” You started. He turned to you like you said something off the wall.

“What? No, no I’m not leaving so… that’s out of the question.” It made you smile a bit that he wasn’t thinking about leaving you to take care of the baby by yourself. But you had enough spirit to know that you were perfectly capable with or without him.

“We’re not getting rid of her either.” You placed a hand on your belly even though nothing had yet formed to know that you did.

“Her?”

“Yeah, her.” You looked at him and smiled. You kind of hoped your baby would have his eyes… You loved his eyes.

“How do you know it’s a girl?” He raised a brow at you as he took your hand and interlocked his fingers with yours. He was still nervous about having a child at such a young age but if he had anyone else to pick in the world to start his family with, he’d choose you. He’d choose you a thousand times over.

You shrugged. “I just know.”

Turns out, his parents weren’t nearly as angry as he expected them to be. They might have been a little shocked that their youngest son were growing up a lot faster than they expected, but they knew you’d be a wonderful mother and wasn’t at all disappointed that if he were to have a child with anyone, it was with you.

“So you’re not mad?”

“No, your mother and I aren’t mad,” Grisha started.

“Just make sure you take good care of Y/n.” The fact that his mother felt so positively towards you made you happy. There was nothing like a mother’s love, from anywhere, to anywhere, through and through.

“Thank you for your support, Mr. Yaeger.”

After dinner that night, Eren was helping his father with the dishes when more discussion about the pregnancy came up.

“You sure you ready?” Eren didn’t know what to tell his dad now that they were alone to talk about it. “Be honest.”

“No.” Eren put away the dry dishes.

“And why?”

“I’m just, I just don’t think I’m ready to be a dad. And I hate that because I know Y/n will be an amazing mom and I’ll just… suck.”

“You think I knew how to be a dad the day you were born? Hell no. I was terrible. Didn’t even know how to change your diapers until you were six months.” Eren laughed a bit, making him feel better. Making him feel like he wasn’t alone and his fears were validated.

“That does sound pretty bad…”

Grisha scoffed. “And it gets worse… but listen, you’ll be fine.” Grisha dried his hands after the last of the plates to give his full attention to his son. “You’ll learn everything you need to along the way and if you need help, just call us. Alright?”

Eren nodded in understanding. He knew raising a child would be a difficult task but maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as he thought. Maybe they’d be better off than expected.

[gothicflowers]

Nikto X GN!Reader

“Blood Sport” - Angst - SFW

Inspired by the song “Blood Sport” by Sleep Token. Would recommend listening before, during or after reading. Thanks for reading!

Warnings: SFW, character death, cussing, toxic relationship, song lyrics in italics.

I want to roll the numbers

I want to feel my stars align again

Even if the earth breaks like burnt skin

And the heavens just won't open up for me

Would you invite me in again?

Won't you pay for your arrogance?

Won't you show me your weakness?

It had been three years since he walked out of your shared home. Left all his clothes, toothbrush and his lucky coin. Three years of wondering why you weren’t enough for him. He was attracted to your caring nature and kind smile. Your small delicate hands fit perfectly into his destructive palms. Making your home as safe and comfortable for him as possible but he’d never let his guard down. Never letting you in. He loved you with his whole heart and soul but couldn’t let you in. But he kept you as prisoner of his love.

Returning from missions barely speaking. The occasional grunt in agreement or disapproval. It takes almost a week for him to start using words. You seen the hell that your father went through with war and knew that Nikto needed time to adjust back to normal. Your patience and kindness always unwavering.

I made loving you a blood sport

I made loving you a blood sport

I made loving you a blood sport

I can't win

His love was a game of tug of war. Just when you thought you had him you were back on your knees crying. He kept getting colder and colder. Shutting you out. The embraces became less frequent. It felt like kissing a stranger. Locking himself in a room only to emerge for meals. You tried everything to bring your love back to you but he wasn’t mentally here anymore. He was out there in the war. So angry at the world he couldn’t see what was in front of him.

I made loving you a blood sport

I made loving you a blood sport

I made loving you a blood sport

I can't win

So let's play

“You think that everything in your little world is perfect don’t you”

“Nikto please-“

“No, I can’t just come home and be a happy man for you. I have done terrible things that you wouldn’t ever come close to me again if you knew.”

“I don’t care what you’ve done, just who you are with me.”

“I’m a fucking monster, I have killed and ruined lives. I have a voice in my fucking head reminding me all day.”

“But we can get through it, therapy is an option. Maybe take some time off. I don’t care if you’re a monster, I love you.”

“I can’t change, I’m too far gone. Don’t you get it?! I’m fucked, you need to just leave me alone. I can’t be saved. Stop trying to fix me!”

“Nikto please just-“

You hoped this was something that he would come home from his drive and you two would make up and tangle in a hot passionate embrace. But he never came back home. He walked out, not looking back.

And somewhere

Somewhere the atoms stopped fusing

I'm still your favourite regret

You're still my weapon of choosing

And out there

Stuck in a quantum pattern

Tangled with what I never said

You say it doesn't matter

You never really moved on from him. His clothes even went from hanging in the closet to a box under your bed. Every date you when on couldn’t compare to the man behind the mask. You can recall when you first met. He stoped in his tracks when he seen you. The closest thing to heaven on earth his damaged heart will ever experience. He tried so hard to be romantic, flowers for every occasion. Jewelry for every holiday. Open doors and his arm looped around yours as you’d walk together. He wanted to be good for you. But he couldn’t get ahead of himself, ahead of the voices that started taking over.

I want to be forgiven

I want to choke up chunks of my own sins

Even if the sky cracks in the morning

And the heavens just won't open up for me

Would you invite me in again?

Let me pay for my arrogance

Won't you show me your weakness?

There was a nock at the door. It was one in the morning. You’re a night owl with little need for sleep. Grabbing your gun you walk up to the door. Slightly shaking knowing there shouldn’t be anyone visiting at this hour.

“Who is it”

“It’s me y/n” a thick Russian voice said. Your heart seemed to skip a beat knowing that raspy voice.

You opened the door slowly not sure if you were ready to see him.

“…Nikto” your frail shaky voice was barely audible. His face has been badly scarred since you last held him. But he was as beautiful as ever.

“Can we talk?” His voice was soft, scared almost. Scared you’d slam the door in his face and be lost forever to him.

“Come in”

Nothing had moved in the house since he left. Your favorite paintings, vintage furniture all stayed the same. It smelled like home still too, thanks to your constant need for a candle to burn.

“I’m surprised to see you, I’m guessing you want your clothes back? I have them under my bed, let me go grab them for-“ your voice was bitter

“That’s not why I’m here”

Just his presence made you weak. He always had this energy that pulled you to him. You didn’t know if what this could even be about. He has been gone for so long that you’re practically strangers.

“Then how can I help you”

“I need to apologize for what I have done”

“Nikto we don’t need to-“

“Please, just listen to me and I will be gone forever if that is what you wish”

“What is there to say? You just up and left three years ago. I waited days and weeks, months even hoping you would just come home to me. I was ready to fight for us, for you. And you just gave up on me.”

“I messed up, I treated you like a commodity when I should have treated you like a god. I didn’t deserve your kindness, your love and patience. And I know that now. After I left I got help for the voices, they’re still with me but they can’t control me anymore. I wanted to get better for you.”

“Nikto…”

“I’d like to try and be the man you deserve if you’ll let me.”

I made loving you a blood sport

I made loving you a blood sport

I made loving you a blood sport

I can't win

He was true to his words. He was a changed man. He opened up to you about what he’s done. He started embracing you the moment he walked through the door. Kisses were sweeter, the nights longer. A promise that soon he will leave the life of killing behind. A promise of a long happy life together.

I made loving you a blood sport

I made loving you a blood sport

I made loving you a blood sport

I can't win

“Good afternoon. I’m a representative of Kortac. Are you Y/N L/N?”

“Yes”

“I’m here to deliver you the news of the passing of Nikto. He passed in battle defending his fellow soldiers. This box contains all of his belongings and his will.”

“No, please no no no” a gasp for the air that had escaped your lips exhaled with a scream.

“I’m very sorry. He wished to be cremated and we have his ashes for you.”

And somewhere (I made loving you a blood sport)

Somewhere the atoms stopped fusing (I made loving you a blood sport)

I'm still your favourite regret (I made loving you a blood sport)

You're still my weapon of choosing (I can't win)

And out there (I made loving you a blood sport)

Stuck in a quantum pattern (I made loving you a blood sport)

Tangled with what I never said (I made loving you a blood sport)

You say it doesn't matter

A urn now sits on top of the fireplace next to the dried flowers that Nikto had gotten you the day before his last deployment. There’s no music playing on the turntable. There’s no candles lit filling the home with a sweet aroma. Just you, a box, a letter and urn filled with the ashes of a man that should be holding you in his arms. The dreams shared about the future were ripped from your heart.

“My love,

If you’re reading this I’m already gone. I’m sorry it ended this way. There will soon be a large sum of money available at your disposal upon my death. It should be enough to last you and your future family a couple generations. All of my properties and assets will now be under your ownership. Sell or keeps whatever your heart desires.

I’m sorry for all the pain I have ever put you through. I’m sorry for all the cold and lonely night in bed while I’m out God knows where. I’m sorry for never kissing you enough, never holding you tight enough. Never having the worlds to express how much I love and appreciate you. My favorite memory will always be watching the sunsets with you. I never told you about how I find your eye color in the smallest of things. Or how your voice is that of angels. You could put my demons to sleep when you sing.

Thank you for always fighting me when I thought I was right. Thank you for the books I said I wouldn’t like, but read every page. Thank you for the warm meals shared over a conversation about our days. Thank you for the nights we tangled in the sheets as one soul. Thank you for the warm hugs on cold December nights. Thank you for the kisses that sealed my promises. Thank you for loving me when I couldn’t love myself. Thank you for showing me a life worth living for. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you from now and until the end of your days. But if god gives me the chance to wait for you at heavens gate, I will wait an entirety just to see your face.

Your love,

Nikto

[emma23]

Notes from the shadows 2:

Santiago Garcia x reader

————————————————————————

Y/N tried to ignore the ring. She stuffed it into her drawer, hoping that by simply pretending it didn’t exist, everything would go back to normal. But it didn’t. It never did with him.

Two days later, she came home from work to find that her front door was slightly ajar. Her heart dropped into her stomach.

“Okay, this is fine,” she whispered to herself, reaching into her bag for some kind of weapon. The only thing she had was a half-empty bottle of hand sanitizer. Really useful, Y/N.

She pushed the door open, tiptoeing inside. Everything looked the same, but something felt…off. The air was different, as if someone had been in her space, moved through her home.

Then, she saw it.

The cabinet door under the sink—where the latch had been broken for months—was now perfectly fixed. She crouched down, inspecting it. There was no doubt: someone had been in her house, and they’d fixed the damn cabinet.

“Are you kidding me right now?” she muttered, standing up.

The phone in her pocket buzzed. She jumped, fumbling with it, and saw a new message from an unknown number.

You’re welcome.

Her mouth dropped open.

“This guy…”

Y/N had had enough. She grabbed her phone, furiously typing a response.

Who do you think you are? Stay out of my house!

Almost instantly, a reply came.

I’m just helping you out. You needed a fix.

She threw her phone onto the couch, pacing back and forth in frustration. This was beyond creepy now. He was in her house—fixing things, leaving notes, slipping rings into her nightstand like it was the most normal thing in the world. And worse? She didn’t even know how to stop him. No one believed her, and Santiago knew that.

She sighed, plopping onto the couch and staring at the ceiling. “How did I end up with a stalker who’s also a handyman?”

Meanwhile, Santiago Garcia was very pleased with himself.

He’d been watching Y/N for months now, and she hadn’t even noticed half the things he’d done for her. Fixing the cabinet was just a small gesture. He’d also patched the hole in her bedroom wall, tightened the screws on her wobbly table, and installed new lightbulbs in her hallway. She was practically living in a luxury apartment now—thanks to him.

But she still hadn’t worn the ring.

Santiago wasn’t a patient man, but he figured Y/N just needed time. After all, relationships were all about trust, right? And he was definitely building trust—whether she realized it or not. He glanced at the small surveillance feed on his laptop, watching her sulk on the couch. She looked so cute when she was angry.

“What’s the point of doing all this if she doesn’t appreciate it?” he muttered to himself, closing the laptop. Maybe she just needs a little more convincing.

Later that night…

Y/N was already on edge as she brushed her teeth, the eerie feeling of being watched still clinging to her like a second skin. It didn’t help that her phone buzzed every few hours with another cryptic message from Santiago. She’d stopped responding at this point, figuring it was better to pretend she didn’t care.

She was about to head to bed when she heard a soft creak coming from the living room. Her heart rate spiked. She grabbed the nearest object—her toothbrush—and slowly made her way toward the sound.

“Hello?” she called out, half hoping no one would answer.

Silence.

But when she stepped into the living room, she froze. The room was empty, except for one glaring detail: there was a brand-new couch sitting where her old, worn-out one used to be.

She blinked. Once. Twice.

“Okay, what the hell?” she whispered.

There was no way Santiago had replaced her couch without her noticing…right?

She stood there, stunned, until her phone buzzed again. She didn’t need to check it to know what the message said. Santiago had officially upgraded from fixing cabinets to replacing furniture, and now she had no idea what to do.

Grabbing her phone, she frantically typed another message.

Did you just replace my couch???

The reply was almost instantaneous.

It looked uncomfortable. You deserve better.

Y/N let out a frustrated groan, dropping the phone onto the new couch. She could already feel her sanity slipping away. She sank into the cushions, begrudgingly admitting that the couch was, in fact, ridiculously comfortable.

“I swear to God, Santiago, I don’t know whether to call the cops or send you a thank-you note,” she muttered to herself, rubbing her temples.

Just then, her phone buzzed one more time. This time, it wasn’t a message.

It was a picture.

Her blood ran cold as she opened the image, her breath hitching in her throat.

It was a photo of her. Asleep. In her own bed.

The caption?

Sweet dreams, Y/N.

[densi-mber]

We Swear It’s Not Real

A/N: Thanks to @mashmaiden for the scenario! Set at the end of season 7, but AU in that Kensi and Deeks are not already together.

***

“Ok, so I think that should be the last thing until the actual wedding,” Kensi announced, double checking the expansive color-coded list placed in front of her.

“Sweet.” Deeks peered over her shoulder on the way to Kensi’s fridge. “Wait, was there always a dove release on the itinerary?”

“Yep.” Kensi made a face. “Kat says it’s regal.”

“I could debate that, but it would be futile,” Deeks said. He came back from the fridge with a bucket of cut fruit, and offered it to Kensi. “Did I tell you Kip has some extra tickets for next weekend? You want to go?”

“Oh no, we can’t go then. We’ve got Kat’s wine tasting on Saturday,” Kensi reminded him. “Sorry.”

“Right,” Deeks sighed, like it was perfectly reasonable. “I didn’t realize that wine tastings were a part of wedding preparation. And requires the entire wedding party.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s just a Kat thing.” Kensi paused to roll her eyes. “You know how over-the-top she is.”

“Oh, I know. The the whole show ponies thing was kind of a clue.”

Deeks smiled, sending a quick text to Kip.

Pretending to be Kensi’s date to Kat’s wedding had seemed easy enough when she first presented the idea. Given her chronically terrible dating history, she hadn’t felt like explaining the complete absence of a plus-one at any of Kat’s events. Or worse, be set up with every available male by her well-meaning friends.

Deeks wasn’t exactly entangled himself, so after a very small amount of consideration, he’d agreed to be Kensi’s fake date for Kat’s wedding season. He’d even thought it might be fun, and certainly would give him ample reasons to tease Kensi.

What he hadn’t anticipated was just how much time they’d spend together, pretending to be a couple. It was their undercover roles as Melissa and Justin on overdrive. Because as ridiculous as it sounded, Kat, Mindy, Mandy, Tiffany, and Tiffani scrutinized them far more intensely than any Russian spies ever could. If they were holding hands, kissing, and just generally exuding an air of absolute bliss, one of the girls noticed.

The hardest part though, was pretending that he didn’t enjoy it. He enjoyed every kiss, snuggle, dance, or moment when he got hold her hand. It made him feel like he was cheating, even though Kensi encouraged it.

It was an awful kind of torture. One he kept coming back for more over and over again.

***

They ate dinner together, which seemed an increasingly regular occurrence neither of them bothered to question. Tonight, Deeks threw together a stir fry and rice; since he’d started coming over more frequently, Kensi’s kitchen stayed better stocked.

“Thanks for cooking and cleaning,” Kensi said from her position at the table. He’d gladly have cleaned a thousand dishes then deal with sorting through the pile of invitations in front of her. Though he’d probably end up helping out anyway.

“No problem. I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, leaning in to kiss Kensi before he headed for the door. It wasn’t until he was halfway down sidewalk that he realized what he’d done.

He’d kissed Kensi. And it wasn’t under any pretense related to the wedding or a case.

He’d kissed Kensi, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

***

Deeks went into work the next morning with serious misgivings. Kensi hadn’t texted him at all since he left her apartment last night. He debated calling her immediately to apologize, but chickened out and ended up pacing for most of the night.

He walked into the bullpen, still uncertain what to do. Kensk was already sitting at her desk when he entered; she looked up briefly, her expression giving nothing away.

“Hey.”

“Hey. You’re in early,” Deeks noticed, testing the waters. She didn’t seem angry at least. Though maybe she was just waiting for the right moment.

“Yeah, well, I’ve been slacking on paperwork with all the wedding stuff. So, I figured I’d knock it out today before Hetty gives me one of her notes,” she explained, eyes tracking her computer screen as she typed.

“Makes sense.”

Setting his bag on his desk, he logged into his own laptop. Silence settles around them as they both quietly worked. A good 20 minutes passed, and Deeks realized he would need to broach the topic since Kensi clearly wasn’t.

“Hey, um, I’m sorry about what happened last night,” he started, and Kensi frowned. “You know, the uh, the kiss. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Oh.” Kensi shrugged, focusing on the brushing some crumbs off her desk. “I didn’t even notice.”

“Really?” Based on her refusal to look him in the eye, he sincerely doubted that.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s just a habit right? And we’ve kissed so many times by now, that it’s no big deal anymore,” Kensi continued, letting out a nervous chuckle that approached cackle.

“Yeah, no. You’re completely right,” he agreed, and Kensi looked up sharply. “It meant nothing.”

“So no reason to apologize.”

“Exactly.” They stared at each other, neither breaking away until Sam and Callen came in, bantering as usual.

He swore a hint of disappointment flash across Kensi’s face in the second before she turned away again.

***

A/N: In direct contrast to my recent story, Kensi and Deeks apparently have all the time in the world in this fic.

Part 2 to come.

[redwayfarers]

one of those days

Fandom: Wayfarer IF Ship: Cassmel (Cassander x Melchior) Characters: Cassander Inteus (OC), Melchior Larkspur Words: 1084 Rating: Gen Summary: Cassander has a bad mental health day. Fortunately, he doesn't have to face it alone. Read on AO3

The day drags like nobody’s fucking business. It’s real fun having nothing to do with your time, you know - the half open book stares at me in accusation from the table, half done weave shakes its threads in disappointment. I told myself I’d finish it today, but when I woke up I found that my hands just refused to do it and would’ve rather broken the whole thing apart than finish it. The book could’ve easily met the same fate if I didn’t have enough wherewithal to just step back and declare myself useless for the day. 

But cooking needs to be done. It’s not a question of want as much as it is a question of need, after all. We all need to eat. If you don’t eat you starve. And since I don’t particularly like starving, I managed to drag myself to the kitchen and listen to the chop chop of the knife. There are downsides, though, as there usually are. Chop chop is so routine that I could do it blind, so the part of my head that’s not focused on making sure I don’t cut my own fingers off is free to wonder.

And gods do I wonder. I’ve since stopped keeping track of what about, but that’s where I am now.

Theokleia came to mind at some point, unbidden. Maybe after the brief sighting of my face in the window. Maybe after the errant curl of hair fell in my eyes and I had to move it away. She wouldn’t cook, obviously. She has people to cook for her. She has fancy makeup and hairpins and decorative battle knives on her walls. And maybe she’s laughing now, having a grand old time, drinking at a party and whispering in another rich asshole’s ear. 

Maybe Aiantes listens too. Does she keep the hairpin he gifted her decades ago, before my very eyes, when all I got was a stern look to shut the fuck up? Maybe she wears it across the hall, and maybe he smiles when he sees it shining in the magic lights. Maybe he even removes it later in the privacy of their bedroom. 

Maybe I don’t really wanna think about my parents fucking, exactly. Brain, stop being weird.

“You’re murdering that poor eggplant,” Melchior says out of nowhere. “What has it done to you?” 

I turn around and set the knife down. “My parents have sex. In general. In Vestra, too. I know the exact bedroom. Big bed, fancy ass curtains. Roses on the sheets. The mwah mwah sounds. All the good stuff.” 

“Your… parents?” Melchior blinks. “Cassander, you have three siblings. It’s highly likely that they do have sex. Assuming nothing’s taking the place of that poor vegetable.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s a really simple thing, too. And my parents are doing it.” 

“And here it’s where you lose me,” he says slowly. He has two big books of accounts in his hands and he looks so disheveled it makes me want to mess his hair up even more. “What do…” He sighs. “It’s been that kind of day, no?” 

I laugh weakly. “Yeah. My brain's all weird. One thing led to another and here I am, mentally in my parents’ bedroom. Where I wasn’t normally allowed when I was a kid, too, even in non-fucking circumstances.” I look at my feet and wiggle my toes. “I am… I just..” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice is kind and gentle and it hits like cold water in a parched throat. He puts the books down and walks over, takes my hand in his and the world feels less loathsome all of a sudden. 

“I don’t want to be angry anymore.” There it is. I’m getting better at figuring these things out. What a strange idea, actually understanding what’s behind all the weirdness in my head on a given day. “Don’t think there’s much to talk about. I just– I don’t want to think about my mother. But she comes unbidden sometimes, she’s a fucking weed of a person like that, and I get all– like this. Gods, I’m so shit at saying things.” 

“I understand you perfectly well, if that has any merit,” he offers. “You’re not half as bad at saying things as you think you are.”

“You don’t count,” I say. It feels as though a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders, though. “You’re just trying to make me feel better by saying that. It doesn’t count.” 

“Is it working, though?” He smiles softly. I bury my head in his shoulder. 

“I hate you so much,” I whisper against the fabric of his shirt. He’s still holding my hand. “But seriously now. Were you.. Did you have any plans for.. This exact moment?” 

“I was just about to get myself a cup of tea,” he says and kisses the side of my head. His hair tickles my ear. “Do you want me to prevent any more vegetable murder?” 

“That’d be great. We gotta eat something and I’m the big bad vegetable murderer, as we both know.” 

“Really scary, yes,” he laughs softly. I don’t reply, but I make no movement whatsoever, soaking up the warmth and the ease of his presence. He seems content to stay like this for the time being, oblivious to the life of a whole company of actors around us, and his free hand rests loosely on my waist. “I’m proud of you, though,” he adds after a while. “You were able to identify what was distressing you and asked for help.” 

Any joke I might’ve had to those words dies on my tongue, heavy and sordid and venomous. He’s just saying things because I’m obviously not doing good for the most part, but a part of me wants to believe him. I want to be worthy of his pride but I’m not sure if I really am. “Didn’t solve shit, Mel,” I say instead, because that’s easier. Because it comes faster and more naturally. Because it shelters from this oppressive feeling that I might not be such a fuck-up after all. “I’m still as angry as I was before. Being able to say my mother’s a bitch doesn’t change shit.”

“It’s better than it was before,” he hums. “But let us cut those vegetables.” His voice turns small and private and easy. “Honestly, between the two of us, being responsible is very boring sometimes.”

And the world really does feel less loathsome for a while. 

[oceanicxeyes]

The little quips and jokes regarding his nature were…anything but insulting. Walter did find them amusing – maybe deep down waiting for Tobias to come up with something new that would make him laugh. To be able to be HIMSELF and not having to pretend to be just another one of those land dwellers was a relief. No more masks. No more pretending to be completely oblivious regarding everything. He still was. There was still much about the world that the siren did not know. The supernatural world that tangled perfectly with what people called normal still had many mysteries to him. And not like he could ask any of his kind for answers. They weren’t even there anymore. They were hiding in the depths. Possibly forever. And the only person he had was also no longer there. And it had been so tiresome and exhausting to keep looking for someone who probably did not want to be found. For all the siren knew – his sister was long dead. A century without contact? What else was he supposed to think?

Blue eyes remained on the waves. On the dark blue water than turned white with the foam scattering across the surface after lashing out against the cliffs. One could even see the tides at work. Pulling them back before pushing them forward. Like the wind that whipped face, hair and clothes – unforgiving and uncaring. Not even the blasted seagull successfully managed to make Walter’s gaze turn from the place he called home. From the place he had missed for so long and that he could no longer return to. Well – technically he could but he would be all alone there. And that was the focal point of his current anguish. More often than not, the siren successfully pushed those dark thoughts from his mind. He was someone who always saw the positive side of things, no matter how dark and dire they would appear to be. But apparently today was not one of those days. He could feel that rock on the pit of his stomach. He could feel his bones aching, his heart racing, his eyes burning with unshed tears. He missed home… and he was completely alone in a world that wasn’t really his own to begin with. And for what? To try to change things? To try to make a difference? Raise awareness? He was a bloody bartender! How could he raise any damn awareness about the ocean life like that?

“You’re LYING.” Most of Tobias’ remarks were ignored, not because Walter didn’t hear them but simply because he had no idea what to say. He had no clue of where to even start and he didn’t want to burden anyone else with a problem that was not theirs to carry. “You say you are fine, but you are not. And it’s ok.” His voice is gentle unlike the wind that howls and whistles around them with even more fury. His words are almost drown by the sound of the crashing waves beneath them. Furious and ravaging. Devoid of mercy or consideration. “Unfortunately, you cannot help me, Tobias.” The siren chuckled – probably trying to pick himself up more than amuse the man next to him. He liked Tobias. He was a no-bullshit type of guy. If he saw something he disliked, he would make sure the world would hear his opinion. Quite the opposite from someone who just wanted things to be good. Positive feedback rather than dragging someone’s confidence down the dirt.

“Like you said – siren problems.” Maybe that’s why the sea was angry. Because one of its children was suffering and alone. Who knew? The sea worked in mysterious ways. “Enough about me. My problems aren’t even problems. Just random thoughts that need to be put in order.” A half-truth. Walter never really found the need to lie. Honesty – or half of it – was the best policy. “You have something in your mind too. You look gloomier than usual and that is saying something. I like your regular gloomy face more. You are cute like that.” Add a little compliment to attempt to make Tobias feel better. “You can talk to me, you know? I won’t judge. We all struggle with stuff sometimes.”

"Guess not," Toby replied dryly. He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, fingers curling into fists. The wind cut through his hoodie like a knife, but he enjoyed the bite. Pain was grounding. Real.

He cut a sidelong glance at Walter, taking in the tense set of his shoulders, the furrow between his brows. The siren looked about as comfortable as a fish out of water. Ha. Fish jokes. I'm on a roll today.

"So," Toby drawled, "what's got your tail in a twist? The sea getting to you?" He quirked a brow, curious despite himself. Walter always seemed so unflappable, but something had him rattled.

A seagull's cry pierced the air, drawing Toby's gaze. He watched it wheel overhead, white against the leaden sky. Nosy little bugger. His lips twitched.

As if on cue, the seagull banked sharply and flew off, disappearing into the grey. Toby huffed a laugh. Cheeky bastard. He turned back to Walter, eyebrow raised.

"You gonna tell me what's bothering you, or do I have to start guessing? Fair warning, I'm a terrible guesser. Might start with 'you've got a sea urchin stuck up your arse' and work my way up from there."

He kept his tone light, but there was a note of genuine concern. Bloody hell, I'm going soft. He should just leave well enough alone. It's not like he and Walter were friends. Not really.

Part of him wanted to let the silence stretch, to keep his distance as he always did. Safer that way. Cleaner. No attachments, no complications. And yet...

He kicked at a loose stone, sending it skittering over the edge of the cliff. It vanished into the frothing grey below with barely a splash. Just like that damn feather. His jaw clenched, teeth grinding.

"Look, Walter," he said, turning to face the siren. "I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine. Really." The lie slid out smooth as silk, well-practiced. "Just needed some fresh air, clear my head. You know how it is."

"Anyway," he continued breezily, "enough about me. What's got you all broody and mysterious? Don't tell me you're pining for the briny deep." He waggled his eyebrows, a smirk tugging at his mouth.

Toby hummed, rocking back on his heels. "Siren problems, huh? Can't relate." He shrugged, a lazy roll of his shoulders. "Guess that's the price of being a fish out of water."

[midgardianweasley]

hiii i love your fics so much omg! anyway, i have a request that i've been daydreaming about that haha: nat and r get into a really big fight about smth (anything but cheating pls my heart won't be able to take that) and r kind of shuts down, and wanda & carol become super protective of her and follow her everywhere making sure she's ok. (and they're also glaring at nat any chance they get) but then nat comes into r's room one night and apologizes and they make up and snuggle and its soft hours

thank you so much! and of course lovely! here you go<33

Priorities

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha has been missing date nights, leaving Y/N embarrassed for the final time. When confronted, an argument unfolds, but can they come back from it?

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: some swearing, some self-neglect

Message/ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist! <3

“Another drink, miss?” The waiter in a smart, black tux asked you for the second time this evening, a part of you felt that it was out of pity as you sat alone at a table for two, and had been for the last two hours.

You were supposed to be meeting your girlfriend tonight for date night, you got all dressed up, makeup applied and hair styled perfectly, which had taken forever, only to be stood up. You wouldn’t have overly minded if this was a first occurrence, you would’ve brushed it off and rescheduled for another night. Which is what you had done, two missed date nights ago.

This was your third night of sitting alone in a crowded, candlelit restaurant as couples around you glanced over with a sympathetic gaze, which had only made you feel worse. Your girlfriend should be here. ‘Natasha should be here’, you thought. You looked up at the kind waiter, giving him a gentle smile before shaking your head.

“No, thank you. I think I'm calling it a night.” You spoke as you hurried to gather your things and get out of there as soon as possible, trying to hold back tears that you refused to let fall, not in front of all of these strangers. You hated this. You hated feeling so exposed. So vulnerable. You couldn’t help but feel anger bubble inside of you, thoughts of Natasha being the only thing currently plaguing your mind, most along the lines of; ‘What was her excuse this time?’ ‘Who is she with instead?’, but, there was one in particular that you couldn’t help but focus on.

‘She promised.’

You hadn’t realised you were crying until you were in the taxi, catching a glimpse of yourself in the rearview mirror when the driver had adjusted it slightly to see the cars behind you, in the process, you’d also caught her eyebrows raise in concern and it wasn’t long before she started conversation.

“You okay back there?”

You laughed somewhat bitterly, but it wasn’t towards her. “Nothing I can't handle.”

Your response didn’t seem to settle her worry as she turned quickly and shot you a sad smile before returning her eyes to the road.

“Boy troubles?”

“Girl.” You rubbed your face, trying to rid yourself of any tear stains that may be lingering and messing up your once really pretty makeup. Not that it really mattered at this point.

“Ah, been there.” She held up her left hand, showing you the shimmering diamond on her finger. “The wife and I have had our fair share of arguments and fallouts, some of them included a situation like this one.”

“Crying in the backseat of a taxi?”

“Crying in the backseat of a taxi.” She laughed lightly, making you smile for the first time tonight.

“It had always worked out though, we’ve never been stronger.”

“Congratulations.” You looked towards the woman “I hope I could be so lucky.” You mumbled, though still loud enough for her to hear. You were mad at Natasha, more disappointed really, but you still loved her, dangerously so. She could stand you up for another 50 dates, and you’d still be head over heels. Angry, but your love would never falter.

“I’m sure you will be. If there’s one thing I've learned over the years, it’s that things have a way of falling into place eventually.”

Pondering her words, you looked out of the car window and noticed that you were pulling up to Stark Tower. It wasn’t long before the car came to a complete stop, the woman turning round to you and beginning to speak again.

“You’ll be okay. It’s obvious you love her, okay? Speak to her. I’m sure it’ll be alright.” She looked at you with nothing but kindness in her eyes, which you did your best to return with a smile. You reached into your purse, handing her the money owed, plus a tip.

“Thank you for the help.”

“Don’t worry about it, go get her.” She winked as you got out of the car and watched her drive away, quickly taking yourself inside to avoid freezing to death as the cold wind blew harshly. Kicking your heels off, you set off with one task at hand. Talk to Nat.

__________________________

“Hey, have any of you guys seen Nat?” You addressed some members of the team who were hanging out in the Kitchen, fixing themselves a snack or just conversing with one another. The second they looked up and took in their appearance, you could’ve sworn their faces paled and saddened slightly as if they knew what had happened.

“I think I saw her head off to train a while ago, but I'm not sure if she’s still there.” Carol replied, her face morphing into one of seriousness. She knew about the missed dates, having found you one night looking completely defeated in one of your nicest dresses and heels. She, alongside Wanda, who had found you both later that night, had spent their night comforting you and reassuring you that she probably hadn’t meant it. They didn’t know what to do, they’d never seen you look so sad before, no matter how much you told them it was okay, the pang in their chest for their best friend hadn’t ceased.

You nodded, quietly thanking Carol and wandered off in search for your girlfriend.

It didn’t take long, she was still training when you’d walked into the gym, sweat practically pouring off of her. Your heart softened briefly when you saw her, her fiery red hair tied back into a ponytail with loose strands all over the place, wearing a black t-shirt, grey sweatpants and a deadpan face as she attacked the dusty punching bag with such force that you’re surprised it hasn’t flown off of the chains yet.

She hadn’t noticed you had walked in, still giving all of her focus to her punches. Maybe she just hadn’t heard you?

“Hi Nat.”

Nothing.

“Nat”

All you could hear was the furious rattling of chains, still not getting a response from the redhead. With a sigh, you decided to try another approach. You stepped closer to her, still keeping a little distance, and leaned forward to tap her shoulder, instantly grabbing her attention. She flung herself around, arm still in midair, her closed fist almost coming into contact with your face.

You don’t know what you expected when she turned around and finally acknowledged your presence, but you definitely didn’t expect to be met with a scowl.

“Seriously? in the middle of training? I could’ve hit you.” She huffed as she turned back to her previous position.

“Sorry. I just wanted to come in and talk to you.”

“About?”

You paused, expecting her to look at you again, but she didn’t.

With a small sigh, you continued. “you missed date night again. I waited for you, but you were a no show.”

“Right, yeah, date night” she muttered, seeming to be unfocused as her eyebrows furrowed and her head kept darting around the room, looking anywhere but at you. “I’ll make the next one.”

“This is the third one you’ve missed this month.” You said firmly, wanting her to understand that this can’t keep happening, of course cancellations or rearrangements were bound to happen sometimes, but she’s just not showing up and then leaving you in the dark as to knowing why.

“I told you, i’ll make the next one.” She walked over to the bench, picking up her water bottle and taking a swig of water, looking directly at you, you look back at her and she just looks so, unbothered.

“I don’t believe you, Nat. You say you’ll make it up to me and then I sit there again, hoping that you’ll be there this time, but you don’t turn up. And now I come back and you’re just training. Could it not have waited? Was that seriously more important?” You raised your voice now, all the anger and frustration you’d felt earlier coming back up to the surface.

You just wanted an explanation, or something to justify how she was acting, but she gave you nothing, not even an attempt, only adding fuel to the fire.

“Why are you getting so annoyed? You should know better than anyone that this is my job.”

“I just explained that to you! Which is more than what you’re giving me right now.”

“Okay, fine, forgive me for not making everything about you for a minute.” She spat bitterly towards you, her temper starting to go as the discussion became more heated.

“Seriously? That’s how you’re seeing this?” If you weren’t so unbelievably irritated, you would’ve laughed at her response.

“You’re being selfish. So I missed a date or two, you’re blowing this out of proportion once again, it’s infuriating.” Selfish?

You raised both your hands, as if in surrender. It was one thing to ditch you, it was another thing to then insult you for speaking up about it. With a tight lipped smile, oozing with sarcasm, you decided that you’d had enough.

“I don’t need to listen to this.”

She shrugged her shoulders, adjusting the gloves she’d just put on. “Then don’t, i’m busy anyways.”. This time, you did laugh.

“What a fucking surprise.”. And with that, you turned on your heels and walked out, hearing the echo of punches fill the room once again, every one feeling like a punch to the stomach.

Maybe these are things falling into place, just not the place you’d hoped.

________________________

You were still in bed at noon the next day, unable to bring yourself to get up and face the world. You didn’t need to worry about anything in the confinement of your bed, even more so considering it wasn’t the bed you shared with Natasha.

After speaking, well, arguing with her last night, you went straight to your shared bedroom, gathered some clothes and your essentials, and slept in your old room that you used to stay in before the two of you started dating. It felt wrong. You always spent your nights with a warm feeling of love washing over you as your girlfriend pressed kisses all over your face, tangling your limbs together in the process.

It wasn’t the same. You felt cold, a type of cold that no heating or blankets could solve. You lacked a weight on your waist, fingertips stroking the skin that was exposed due to your top riding up slightly. Instead, the only comfort you had was the small bear you’ve kept for the las year. It was one that Natasha had given you after she won it at the funfair on your third date, and you could never bring yourself to part with it, remembering how happy she looked when she handed it to you, and the butterflies you felt just from seeing her look so pleased.

The bear was a little worn and torn now, it had been ripped in a couple of places, now replaced with a little sewn on patch of material that didn’t exactly match the shade of brown, and one of the eyes had started to fall off, but you liked that it was different. The assassin had tried to offer to replace it and buy you a new one, but you’d always refuse, insistent that you would keep that bear with you for the rest of time. Even now, when the two of you weren’t speaking, you still held onto it with a death-tight grip.

A knock on the door snapped you out of your daydream.

“Y/N, open up, It’s me.” A familiar voice shouted through. Carol.

“And me!” Wanda.

You heard some muttering outside of the door, something along the lines of Carol suggesting they break the door down, immediately being told that it was unnecessary by the Sokovian. Feeling pretty against the idea of having a doorway with no door, you called out for them.

“Guys, it’s unlocked.” You were quiet, but it was clear that they had heard you as the faint talking stopped altogether and you heard them walk in and shut the door behind them with a ‘click’.

Wanda was the first to approach you, kneeling down beside the bed so that she was at eye level with you, pulling the bed covers down a little to uncover more than your forehead. Once she could see your eyes and nose, she sent you a warm smile.

“Hi sleepy. It’s noon.”

“I know.�� She frowned when she heard you speak, your voice raspy from your crying through the night. She hated seeing you like this, she loved both you and Natasha, and it hurt to see you so sad because of the woman you adored.

“We should go and eat something, it’ll help.”

“‘M not hungry.” You pressed your head further into the pillow, the last thing you wanted to do was eat, your stomach already feeling like it was twisting with every minute that passed.

“C’mon, i’ll make you your favourite.” the blonde winked, leaning against your wardrobe.

“Your special pancakes?”

“With extra whipped cream.” She sang, playfully trying to encourage you to leave the bed. You had to hand it to her, she knew you too well.

WIth a brief look between the two, you rubbed your eyes and threw the covers off dramatically, sighing and ensuring that they knew you didn’t approve of this. They knew you were joking, even if you weren’t, all they cared about was making sure you were okay, knowing that when you felt like this, being left alone allows you to neglect yourself and get really low. They don’t mind if you dislike them for a little while, as long as you are looked after.

“There we go! Well done.” Wanda stroked your back and led you towards the door where Carol held it open for you.

“No breaking it down behind my back.” You shot towards her, slightly amused at the guilty look on her face as she realised you’d heard her quarrel beforehand. Shaking her head, she nudged you out of the door, and the three of you made your way into the kitchen.

_______________________

Carol had stuck to her promise of preparing a sweet treat for you, a stack of fluffy pancakes sat in front of you, topped with whipped cream and two cherries on top. You ate slow, still a little cautious of how stable your stomach felt. You could see your two friends talk with one another, not wanting to stare and make you uncomfortable, but occasionally looking over silently to check in on you.

You were feeling pretty content as you sat at the counter, munching away with the two avengers for company. It was only when you heard a voice that you could recognise anywhere.

“Hi guys.”

Not daring to look up, you ket your eyes focused on the food in front of you, hoping that if you just stay quiet, you’ll be invisible to the human eye.

“Hey Nat.”

“Hi.”

Wanda and Carol replied, wary of any interaction between the pair of you that could unfold into something neither of you wanted or that would lead to any regrets.

You lifted your head slightly, able to see the daggers Carol was throwing at Nat, not impressed with her being in the room. You both had always been quite close, often talking about life before becoming superheroes that protect the planet, in her case, planets. In the process, she’d found herself having a soft spot for you, wanting to protect you from anything that could bring you harm. Which you were grateful for, but her glaring was terrifying sometimes, you were more grateful for the fact that her powers weren’t in her eyes, otherwise you would’ve definitely become single five minutes ago.

You could see Natasha out of the corner of your eye, she was filling up the bottle she used for when she was training, her eyes weren’t on what she was doing, instead, she was trying to subtly look up at you through the hood of her eyes. You subconsciously took the opportunity to really take in her appearance.

Her hair hadn’t been tended to since you last saw her, half of it was hanging out of her ponytail, most of it falling in front of her face. Her eyes looked glassy and bloodshot, like she had been crying recently and you could’ve sworn that was your t-shirt she was wearing. The sight sent a wave of sadness over you, wanting nothing more than to leap over the counter and pull her into your arms and tell her things were fine, that the two of you were fine. But you stayed seated, too nervous to make a move.

You didn’t know it, but she regretted speaking to you last night, instantly realising what she’d done after she came back to her room to find it empty and half of your stuff gone. She knew immediately where you’d gone and would’ve gone through to talk it through with you, but she didn’t think it would help. She wanted you to have your time and space before approaching the situation.

With that, she tightened the lid on her bottle, sent you an apologetic smile and walked out of the room, leaving behind an awkward atmosphere in her absence.

“You alright?” Wanda asked

“Yeah, yeah no I'm okay. I’m feeling a little tired though, I'll catch you guys in a bit, okay?” You stood from your seat, not giving either of the two a chance to stop you as you walked out and back to bed. What a day.

_______________________

Hours had gone by now and you were back wrapped up under your bed covers, still clinging onto your bear. You hadn’t bothered to change, you went straight to bed after walking in the door. You’d managed to get some sleep earlier, not a lot, but it was something.

You tossed and turned, trying to find any way of being comfortable so your body could rest and your mind could shut off, but it was deemed to be impossible. All you could think about was your argument with Nat, and how she looked so upset earlier. The thought alone triggered the waterworks again, this time, you didn’t even attempt to stop them.

Only a couple of minutes had passed before there was yet again, another knock on your door. You rolled your eyes, really not wanting any more visitors, you were grateful for the help, but you really wanted to be alone.

“Guys, I’m fine! It’s late, get some sleep.” You called out, waiting to hear retreating footsteps, but they never came. Huh. That’s weird? You brushed it off quickly, assuming that it must’ve just been too quiet to hear, which you wouldn’t put past you due to all the sniffling you’ve been doing in an attempt to silence your crying.

You were wrong. The person at your door hadn’t walked away. They also weren’t Wanda or Carol. Instead, it was who you least expected to be in your room at god knows what time at night after the events that had unfolded recently.

“Hi.” The redhead whispered, worrying that if she spoke any louder, you’d be able to hear her voice shake with nerves, or the huge lump in her throat that wouldn’t budge.

You froze on the spot when you realised who it was, not entirely sure how you were gonna play this. Realistically, you might as well just see what it is she wants, it couldn’t hurt, could it?

“Hey.”

Her footsteps were practically silent but still felt deafening as she stepped closer to you, cringing slightly at how tense and forced all of this felt. It was her fault, she knew that, she hoped you did too. She didn’t want you blaming yourself for her actions, although she couldn’t say anything if you did, she was the one who had insulted you and planted the thought in your head, and she felt every fibre in her body beg for you to forgive her.

Approaching with caution, she walked up to the top of the bed, kneeling where Wanda had been earlier, but unlike Wanda, she didn’t reach out for you. She didn’t feel she had the right. Not now. She quickly took note of your eyes and how they were drooping and red, just like how hers had been earlier, which is how she could know in an instant that you had just been crying. She felt like a knife had gone through her chest at the sight, knowing that she had done that to you. She’d let you down so much that it had brought you to laying in bed alone and crying.

You mumbled something incoherent, completely muffled by the covers that were blocking your mouth.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you through the cover, could you tell me that again?”

You looked down a little, debating on doing it or just asking her to leave this conversation for another day. ‘But, she was already here, so you may as well get on with it.’ you thought, and with that, you tugged the covers down a little, letting Natasha see your full face now, unable to stop a tiny hint of a smile creeping up on her face. Your nose was runny, your eyes were puffy, and your face was flushed, but that didn’t change the fact that she still believed you to be the most beautiful woman she’d seen.

“Has something h-happened?” You hiccuped, noticing the frown take over her features as she maintained her eye contact with you.

“Yeah. i was a complete idiot.”

“Nat-”

“No, no, please. I want to explain. I need to explain. Please?” She pleaded, not caring how desperate she might’ve looked.

You paused for a minute before sighing gently, nodding at her and giving her a non-verbal go ahead to continue. She took a deep breath, looking away for a second then looking back at you before you could even blink. You could see her hands tremble a little, and while you were upset with her, you couldn’t leave it alone. You reached your hand out from under the cover and held it out to her, offering it for her to hold. She grabbed it without hesitation, squeezing it gently as a single tear fell, gathering the courage to say her next words.

“I have no excuse for what I did. There is nothing I could say that would make my actions plausible or acceptable, I shouldn’t have treated you like that or said what I did, and I understand if you can’t forgive me, or don’t want to. But I needed-, no, I need you to know, I'm sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. You deserve better.”

More tears had fallen down her face at this point, her thumb not ceasing in their circular movements on the back of your hand. She didn’t know if this was going to be the last time she felt your hand in hers, so with every circle, she was savouring the moment, no matter how badly she wished it was under different circumstances.

You shuffled a little so you were in a more upright position, hoping that it would make speaking easier. You’d taken in every word, and while you were hurt, extremely hurt, you saw how remorseful she was. Her face showed no sign of humour or like she was lying. You could always tell when she was lying, her eyebrow always twitched a little, which you would always be in stitches about when she tried to say she didn’t eat your last cookie and her eyebrows would be moving like mad. They were as still as stone when she was speaking this time.

“You really hurt me, Nat. I didn’t think I was asking for much, just some time with you, that was all. And you left me every time, for work and with no notice. It was embarrassing.” She nodded in acknowledgement as she listened. “A-and then to come back and witness you being so, so, hostile, with me, I didn’t understand what I'd done.”

She gulped audibly before speaking again. “You hadn’t done a thing. Not a thing. I-I threw myself into work, into training. The last mission, I was sloppy, I wasn’t on my A game, it almost ended up with other people seriously hurt. So I thought-” She took a shaky breath in. “I thought, if I trained harder, It would mean I would be better for the next mission. But I disregarded everything else on the radar, including you, and then I got so mad at myself for it that I ended up taking it out on you instead. You don’t have a selfish bone in your body, and it was out of order for me to ever say so. It was wrong, and I don’t think I can apologise enough.`` She gave you an apologetic smile, tears streaming down her face steadily now.

“You know, when I came home from the restaurant, I had this driver.” You smiled. “Nice woman, she’s got a wife. She was telling me that it wasn’t easy for them. They had their ups and downs, their fights and bitterness. But they always found their way back to each other.” You whispered so softly that if there was any other noise in the room, Natasha wouldn’t have heard a word.

“And, when we argued, I really didn’t think we were going to be able to come back from that. I thought that maybe our time had expired.” You sniffled, your own tears trailing their way down your cheeks. Without thinking, she wiped them away, her palm pressing onto your warm cheek as you nuzzled into it, still finding comfort in her touch.

“I don’t want us to expire, Nat.”

There it was. There was the sentence that turned silent tears into fully body wracking sobs, your hands instinctively going to pull away and cover your face, instead, Natasha brought herself up to sit on the side of your bed, hastily bringing you into her chest and her free hand combing its way through your hair.

She rocked you back and forth, letting you get everything out of your system, no matter how much it hurt to hear.

“Shh, I’ve got you. I’m so sorry, moya lyubov.”

Your sobs soon died down with Nat’s help, sobs turning into faint pants with how tired you were and how much energy it had taken out of you. You looked up at her softly, as she smiled down at you.

“I love you, Natty.” You murmured, the words making the assassin’s heart grow fonder for you, if that was ever possible.

“I love you more.”

“Can you stay with me tonight? I can’t sleep without you.”

“Of course. Anything for you.” She leaned over you, bringing the blankets back up and over you, catching a glimpse of some brown fur among the darkness. She knew exactly what it was. She picked up up with the blankets and handed it to you, happiness overtaking her as she saw your eyes light up at the teddy she won for you.

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you, Detka.” She pressed a kiss to your temple before settling down, holding you tight in her grasp, refusing to let you go for anything or anyone, not that you were complaining, you’d missed this.

Nothing had to be decided tonight, there was no rush for discussion. Sure, there were still things to talk through and work out, but that can wait. All that mattered right now, was that Natasha was there. She was holding you in her arms and you felt every ounce of love and apology she could give you. And that was enough for now.

taglist: @natashas-favourite-knives @wandaromanova @wvnda-maximoff

[alohastyles-x]

Faith In You- Four

Faith In You | Sequel to Loyal To Me

Summary: How long can a grudge truly last? Your return to earth leaves you emotionally confused as you reconnect with your fellow Eternals. As the Emergence comes, you discover who you truly are, what your true purpose is in the universe. Can you handle it?| Druig x fem!eternals! reader

Notes: I apologize this took so long, but I hope the length makes up for it <3 | Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: Character death, brief mentions of suicide | Movie Inaccuracies cuz im low-key tired of going back and rewatching scenes 7 times to get it perfectly right :(

Druig Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Marvel Masterlist | Wattpad | Series Masterlist

The air in the temple was tense as everyone eyed each other cautiously. The last time everyone in the room was together-- with the exception of Makkari and Ajak- they were discussing what to do with your body that laid limp on the marble slab next to Thena’s. Now you’re here, your heart beating, your blood racing through your veins. 

Everyone shifted uncomfortably, as you and Druig stared each other down. His gaze was still harsh, convinced you had left him in the dark on purpose. You just stared blankly, unsure how to feel. You were numb, yet angry. Angry at Druig for what he did to your people, angry at Druig for the way he wouldn’t even listen to you. 

“Druig…” Sersi finally said, just bareilly above a whisper. When Druig didn’t answer, she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She didn’t want to say his name again, fearing she’d only fuel the fire that was raging silently in the room right now. 

“Well, what are ya waiting for,” Druig snapped, impatiently. 

“Ajak… she’s… she’s dead. The Deviants are back, only it's just one, and it's able to adapt to our powers. We think it took Ajak’s healing ability before killing her.”

A beat passed before Druig finally responded, tearing his gaze away from you. 

“You’ve given me a lot of bad news in one go, me lady. First, the once love of my life returns, alive, with the ones who betrayed her, and now this news about a Deviant able to evolutionize in seconds…” You grimaced at the word ‘once’. Was that really how he felt?

“Will you help us?” Sersi asked, her voice full of hope. Druig stood from where he was leaning on the table in the front, and began pacing around. 

“Do you remember this forest? It was the last place we were all together- dead or alive,” he looked at you, his words full of venom. “I have protected these people for 20 generations. From both, the outside world and from themselves.” He was now standing before Kingo and Karun, smirking as he stared down Karun. 

“Your kind will be responsible for your own destruction one day. Don’t ya think?” Druig asked, trying to bait him. 

“I think we must learn from our mistakes, so we can do better,” Karun answered, his voice echoing off the temple walls. He wasn’t scared. He should have been. This angered Druig. His eyes glowed that golden color of cosmic powers and in the next moment, Karun was throwing his camera against the wall. 

“Oh no you didn’t. Okay, new rule, no possessing people’s valets,” Kingo said, standing up and moving directly in front of Druig. 

“Where is your sense of humor, Kingo?”

“You are not a god, you know that right?” Kingo sneered, not backing down. 

“How ironic… Kingo, the movie sta-” 

“Druig! Enough,” you shouted, trying to stop this before it turned into a pissing contest between the two. The sound of your voice stopped him dead in his tracks, turning to face you again. He slowly moved until he was now in front of you, trying his best to be intimidating. You held your breath as his scent filled your nose.

“Don’t talk to me,” his voice was low, and cold. It brought tears to your eyes, which he noticed, but you straightened up. 

“This is serious, Druig.” Sersi said firmly. “ I was waiting until I had everyone together, but I have enough of you now I think I can just tell you…” she said. She told them of what happened when she discovered Ajak’s body. Of the things Arishem told her, the fact that they were never here to protect the humans, only to aid in the existence of the emergence. 

“So, Druig, please. All of you… we have to figure this out.” She finished, looking to everyone, but especially to Druig. He was the one that could make or break this mission- his power was especially useful. 

“I’ve just been told that I’ve been sent on a suicide mission for the last seven thousand years,” he paused and turned to you, “and that most of that existence has been a lie. So excuse me for not giving a fuck about your plan at the moment,” he finished, turning and heading out of the temple. 

“Druig fucking sucks,” Kingo said. You just looked at him, before turning to leave as well.

You went out of the temple in search of Druig- you had to sort this out. A building next to the temple caught your eye. In the window was a vase of dragonsnaps and another of Marigolds- the flowers that were etched into your headpiece. When you looked around, you didn’t notice a vase in any of the other windows, so you made your way up to the door. 

Slowly opening it, you halted at the threshold. It opened into a living room, adorned in all of your favorite colors and all the things the villagers had made you over the centuries. The entire hut was a temple dedicated to you. When you moved further in, you noticed a bedroom in the back corner. As you moved closer , you eyed something draped over the bed. It was the hand woven blanket that one of the village moms had made you. It brought a tear to your eye, knowing that Druig still had all of this to remember you. 

“What are you doing here?” Druig asked, making you jump. You hadn’t heard him come in. His voice was laced with venom still. 

“Druig, stop, please,” you whispered. “Stop the hostility. You haven’t even given me a chance to explain myself-” 

“Well go on then!” Druig interrupted, yelling at you. You closed your mouth, completely over the way he was treating you. 

“Stop yelling at me!” You responded back. “Gods, Druig, this is madness! Why are you so rude!”

“Why? Why am I rude? I don’t know, y/n, why do you think?! I watched you die, and here you are-”

“Yea! Here I am! You should be happy to see I’m alive, that I’m here!”

“Yea, only after a couple THOUSAND YEARS!” Druig scoffed. He was in your face now, absolutely livid that you couldn’t understand why he was upset. 

“Get. Out. Of. My. Face.” You sneered back. He wasn’t expecting your voice to be laced with as much venom as he had in his. It made him stumble back a few steps. You pushed past him and headed to the door. 

“Y/N- wait,” his voice was shaking. 

He was about to say more, but a familiar growl interrupted him. It rumbled through the woods, vibrating the windows next to you. 

“Oh no,” you whispered, flinging the door open, and booking it down to the middle of the grounds, where Sersi, Sprite, Kingo and Ikaris were standing. 

“Did you hear that?” You asked. They nodded, preparing to fight whatever was heading towards them. Druig was following behind you, taking his stance next to your side– just like before. You tried to act like you didn’t notice. Thena and Gilgamesh were missing, but otherwise, everyone was there… waiting. 

The trees ahead of you shook, and you knelt down to feel the vibrations running through the ground. 

“It’s getting closer. Druig, you need to get everyone out of here.” You said, motioning to the helpless humans aimlessly working, not noticing the sounds in the distance. 

“They can fight,” Druig responded. He lifted his arm, his eyes going golden. Suddenly, the villagers stopped what they were doing, and picked up the nearest shotgun to them. Druig had them line up, ready to attack. 

“Are you serious Druig?! Get them out of here!” You shouted. “This is unbelievable,” you whispered under your breath as he just shook his head. 

Suddenly, a screech echoed through the woods, and a Deviant with wings flew down, snatching Ikaris by the shoulders. Sersi yelled out, but you knew he could handle his own. You turned, anticipating where the next one would come. 

“I thought you said there was only one?” Druig asked.

“There was only one… until now,” you said. This changed Druigs tone tremendously. 

“Everyone! To the river, now!” He yelled to the villagers, who took their guns and ran. Druig snatched one from one of them, cocking it and aiming it towards the woods. 

A small Deviant came from the side, but with one blast of lightning, you cut it down. Druig was shocked, but not surprised. Clearly you had worked on your control. Another small Deviant came out from the left, and Druig claimed this one, shooting at it twice before running up its back and shooting it in the head. 

You hated to admit how hot it was to see him with a gun, his muscles flexed in the sleeveless sweater he wore. You couldn’t let yourself get distracted though. Kingo and Sprite took on two more Deviants that came out.  

There was an electrical charge in the air. You sensed it. Something bigger was coming, something stronger… the One from before. As you let the Eternals take on the smaller ones, you decided to muster all of the elements you could- something Loki taught you to do. 

Reaching your arms out to the east and west, you lifted your head to the north, and stood on your tiptoes for your toes to face the south. Muttering a chant under your breath, you began to levitate, the golden cosmic energy swirling around you. Druig was the first to notice, as he dropped a Deviant he just killed. 

“Woah,” he whispered. This caught everyone else’s attention. No one knew you could do this. 

In your head you pictured the elements rising. Rocks began to levitate off the ground, sticks and water droplets as well. They all rose to be level with you, before moving to point into an arrow directly in front of you. Flashes began to play in your head of the leader of the Deviants. You saw a name written out: Kro, and then you saw it. It  was just about to be at the edge of the woods. You manipulated the elements to form a long stick, sharp enough at the end to penetrate its skin, and then you waited. Just as it made its way to the clearing of the woods, you sent a gust of wind with it. It pierced it right in the chest, but it wasn’t enough. 

While you were still levitating, you summoned a lightning storm. Your eyes glowed golden as the golden cosmic energy flowed around you still. Lightning began to strike from the sky, setting the trees on fire next to it, causing them to fall on it. As that happened, Kingo blasted it with his energy bolts, and Ikaris returned, beaming it as well from higher up. 

Only this wasn’t enough either. The power wasn’t just penetrating Kro, it was flowing through him. He was adapting your powers. A vision flashed in your mind of lightning being sent your way and you ducked. It struck the workshop behind you. 

Kro cut its connection with you, and sent a large stone hurling your way. It struck you, and you fell to the ground with a scream. 

It was the same scream Druig heard every night in his dreams. Rushing to your side, he moved the stone off of you. 

“Y/n, oh god, no,” he whispered, seeing blood pool under your clothes on your chest. PTSD began to bubble up. It was in these same woods he lost you once, and now he was going to lose you again. Your chest was sunken in from the stone, and he could see the color drain from your face. 

“Elixir… pocket…” you breathed out. Druig reached into the pocket of your pants and pulled out a shiny, dark green vile. He popped it open, and held it to your lips. Within seconds your chest rose to its natural place, no longer dented from the large stone. 

“What… what was that?” Druig asked, as he helped you sit up.

“A healing elixir that Loki helped me make.” 

Druig pulled you tightly into a hug, the fear of almost losing you again was too much for him to continue holding his grudge. It no longer mattered to him why you weren’t here all these years. You were here now, and that’s what mattered more to him. Your heart was beating, and he could hear it. You were alive. 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. His voice broke; he was crying. You hugged him back tighter. 

“I hate to interrupt this moment- but we could really use your help here!” Kingo shouted, making the two of you pull away from each other. Druig was still in shock, he sat back watching the events unfold in front of him.  Sersi had just come to from being knocked out. Kingo and Sprite were shoved off into a building, and Ikaris was now being held down by the Deviants hand. Kro was gone. 

Sersi got up, and went after the Deviant holding Ikaris down. It got off of Ikaris, and went after Sersi, pushing her into the water of the walled pool that stood in the center. WIthin the next second, water droplets splashed up from the water and  a tree made from Deviant flesh stood in the middle, limbs sprouting in all different directions. The water then fell, drenching everyone.

“How did you do that?” Ikaris asked, but before Sersi could answer, their attention was drawn to you. You were levitating again, attempting to find Kro. He was further in the woods with Gilgamesh and Thena. 

“Gilgamesh. Woods. Now!” You shouted. Without questioning it, everyone took off to help Gilgamesh fight off Kro. 

The woods were dark as you moved through them. It was eerie familiar, and you had to push down the anxiety that was bubbling up inside. As if Druig could sense your discomfort with being in these woods again, he reached out and softly grabbed your hand. All felt right in the world again to have him by your side. 

But that all got tossed to the side when you heard a scream up ahead. It was Gilgamesh. The two of you broke out in a run, catching up to where the others were. You gasped at the sight before you. 

Kro had struck Gilgamesh down, and fled after realizing their true purpose on earth with the emergence. It turns out Arishem left everyone in the dark. 

Gilgamesh lay lifeless on the forest floor, gaping wounds glittering in the faint moon light. He had sacrificed himself to save the love of his life. 

“No…” Thena whispered, as she processed what she just saw. She kneeled next to Gilgamesh, resting her head on his chest. 

“Right when we lose Ajak too…” Ikaris whispered to Sersi. You shot him a glare, still suspicious of him. 

“Wait, y/n, what about the elixir?” Druig asked, a little too loudly. Everyone’s heads snapped to you. 

“I… I only had one on me. I could try and make it real fast, but I don’t know how long after… you know, death it works…” you trailed off, hurt that you didn’t think to snag 2. 

“No, it’s okay. Gilgamesh was a natural man, he wouldn’t have wanted to be brought back after death.” Thena responded callously, before breaking down into tears.  

An all too familiar feeling ran through Druig. These woods were cursed to him and, now, to Thena. The place she once took someone's life, she now lost her love. The parallel was gut-wrenchingly obvious to everyone in the circle they now made around Thena and Gilgamesh. No one said anything while Thena sobbed over him. 

The feelings of deja vu became too much for Druig, as he stood watching his fellow eternal mourn the one they loved dearly. He reached for your hand, but you pulled away. 

Not now, you mouthed. You didn’t want to rub in Thena’s face that you came back, when Gilgamesh never will. Druig tensed up. He needed your comfort right now. 

“We need to hold a funeral,” Thena spoke up suddenly. 

“Of course,” Sersi whispered. “Shall we do it at the lake again?” 

“That would be nice,” Thena answered. 

Everyone dispersed to grab materials for the pyre to build. Druig went to grab an accelerant, while Ikaris and Sprite went to cut some wood. Kingo and Sersi went to find some leaves to twine the wood together, before Druig pointed out that they had some rope in a warehouse. 

“We’re not that uncivilized,” Druig smirked. 

You decided to hang back with Thena. While the rift between the two of you wasn’t fixed, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave her side. You knelt next to her, and placed your hands on the dirt floor. 

“Do you know if he had a favorite flower… or plant?” You whispered. Thena gave you a confused look until she saw your hands. 

“Wolfsbane was a favorite of his, along with lilies,” she finally answered. She watched carefully as your hands began to glow. Patches of wolfsbane and lilies began to shoot up through the dirt. 

“Do you think that is enough, or should we make some more?” 

Thena’s face softened at your kindness. She appreciated the use of ‘we’ as if she was honestly helping you magically grow flowers from the ground. Especially with the tension between the two of you. 

“I think we should do some more,” you answered, and began to make more. But you were stopped by Thena’s hand on top of yours. 

“Thank you.” 

You didn’t know what to say. Anything you could think of seemed lacking given the grave circumstances. Instead, you offered her a warm smile. 

After everything was prepared, Ikaris, Druig and Kingo helped carry Gilgamesh down to the pyre, setting him on top before lighting it. The wooden planks were decorated with the flowers you grew, and the leaves Sersi and Kingo gathered before Druig showed them the rope. 

Nothing but the roar of the fire filled the night sky. Thena held her head up high. Even when sad and mourning, she still looked effortlessly graceful; you envied her for it. As Gilgamesh’s body burned, Ikaris and Kingo pushed the pyre into the water, watching respectfully as it floated down the river. 

You placed a comforting hand on Thena’s shoulder, before turning and heading back up the hill. You wanted to give her her space before his body disappeared around the curve. Everyone else seemed to have the same idea, besides Druig. He hung back with Thena, the memories too consuming to leave her alone. 

“How did you move on, after y/n’s death?” You heard Thena ask. You hung back behind a tree to listen for his answer. 

“I’m not sure. Clearly, I didn't do very well. I enslaved the people she loved to keep her memory alive. I don’t recommend that though,” Druig snickered, turning to face Thena. 

“I just didn’t let my love for her die. I kept it ignited all these years. It was hard, sure. Some days I thought about endin’ it all, in this river actually, to join her back home. But I couldn’t leave these people leader-less, so I stayed. Now I’m glad I did, but I know that this fortune won’t come to everyone.” Druig answered. Thena’s face softened as she took in his answer. 

“How do you think I could keep his love alive?” Thena asked, genuinely. She was lost on what to do.

“Just by being the Thena he loved.” His answer brought a tear to her eye. She nodded her head, and he swung an arm around her shoulder. 

“You’re gonna be alright, Thena. You’re gonna be just fine,” Druig comforted. She leaned her head on his shoulder and smiled. She was grateful for the kindness he was showing her. 

| ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ, ʟɪᴋᴇꜱ, ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢꜱ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛʟʏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ |

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Taglist is off, please follow @alohastyles-xlibrary for fic updates | After this, I won't be tagging people, please turn on post notifs or follow library blog, I'm only tagging people in this part bc it took me too long to write this one :')

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 10

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sam helps you out in planning for the launch while Bucky is away.

Word Count: 4.2k (woopsies)

Warnings: SMUT is back, angry unprotected sex, spitting, a tiny hint at scratching and choking, some hurtful words thrown in yada yada yada, kinda intense asjkcackansk

A/N: STRAP THE FUCK IN BECAUSE WE BOUTTA RIDE A DAMN ROLLERCOASTER OMG I’m nervous for this because I found this part very intense while writing it. And I hope it comes across as that to y’all as well because my fingers ached from how hard I was typing this part lmfao. Team Bucky vs Team Reader/Team Sam here we goooo sksksk enjoy

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

You didn't accept Sam's invitation to connect in LinkedIn. Not yet. But it did give you several ideas, like maybe submitting a resignation letter? Get away from Bucky and his toxic ass? He has Mackenzie now, he can easily have her take over your position anyway.

However, you were also torn because you loved your job at Bucky's company. It paved way for you to improve your skills and you experienced a lot of growth too. And well, Bucky's there too but god, you hated him right now. As much as you wanted to wave the white flag, you didn't feel like it was the right thing to do.

You wanted Bucky to learn that not everything he wants, he can easily get. And Mark was right, that you weren't just a trophy employee or whatever. You were so much more than what Bucky probably thinks of you.

And you were going to prove him that.

-

"Hey, Bev. Can you ring up your boss for me? Tell him I want to go over some of the plans I made for the launch before I discuss it with Mackenzie tomorrow." you asked.

Beverly was about to lift the phone up when an unexpected visitor arrived. None other than Sam Wilson himself.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop but did I hear you correctly? You've already made some plans for the launch?" he asked with interest.

You chuckled, "Sort of. Well, it's a rough draft of my ideas. I just thought it would be nice to get a headstart." you admitted.

Sam nodded and was about to say something when Bucky stepped out of his office, his brows furrowing upon seeing you and Sam conversing. Bucky eyed you before glancing over at Sam, patting his shoulder gently as a greeting.

"You checking up on us or what?" Bucky teased with a chuckle.

Sam shook his head, "Not really. Well, kinda. I figured that another presentation would be unnecessary, I mean. I'd love to work on the launch with your team instead of being on the sidelines for approvals." he admitted.

You shrugged, "I think that's a great idea too. Less time to waste, less back and forth." you pitched in.

Bucky frowned a bit, his jaw clenching at how you backed up Sam immediately. "That's fine, but I have a meeting in a few. Might last the entire day. Mackenzie won't be here until tomorrow too." he said.

"She and I can discuss her plans today and maybe I can pitch in some of my ideas too. She can present them tomorrow to you and Kenzie." Sam suggested, gesturing over to you.

Bucky stared at you and Sam alternately, his hands balling into fists at his sides. You could see his internal struggle about leaving you and Sam to discuss about the launch, without his presence.

You lifted up the folder in your hand, "I wanted to go over these plans with you but I didn't know you have a meeting. Sam and I can just refine these today, would save us a lot of time. We don't want to be rushing anything for this project at the last minute." you told him.

Bucky swallowed but nodded anyway, albeit with hesitation, "Yeah. Of course. I'll just catch up on the both of you later."

And with that, Bucky walked away but not without sparing you and Sam one final glance. His eyes met yours for a brief moment and you weren't sure, but you saw a flash of worry in his eyes before it was immediately replaced by his usual stern, ice-cold gaze.

You turned to Sam with a smile, "We can discuss in the conference room." you said and led the way.

-

The planning was seamless and you were surprised that you had so much fun exchanging ideas with Sam, to the point of almost forgetting about lunch break. It was quarter past noon when the both of you realized that it was way past lunch time.

"Do you want to grab lunch or order something instead? I honestly hate working lunch, just so you know." Sam said with a laugh.

You groaned, "I hate that too, honestly." you admitted with a chuckle.

Sam nodded, "Great, we can head out for a quick lunch?" he asked.

It didn't even cross your mind to hesitate, so you immediately agreed and even asked if you can take Beverly with you. You'd grown somewhat attached to her in the short time you've known her. Poor kid was being treated like an outcast by the other office girls. She always waited for you to have your lunch break too, especially that Mark has been pretty busy lately.

Sam was kind enough to agree about including Beverly for lunch. The two of you were about to head out of the conference room when Beverly peeked in, worry etched all over her face.

"I need your help." she whined, "I think I messed up Sir James' schedule. Mister Nakajima is on the phone and said that he's going to be an hour late for a meeting today. I forgot about Sir James’ meeting with another company today!" she explained, almost close to tears.

You rushed over to her and held her shoulders, "Hey, calm down. Did you tell Mister Nakajima?" you asked.

"I did and he got mad at me! Today is his only free day and he said that if he doesn't meet up with Sir James, the deal is off." Beverly said, stomping her foot on the ground.

You heaved out a sigh, knowing that the deal was very important. Mister Nakajima owned an auto manufacturing company which produces world-class materials for cars. Bucky had been working on convincing Mister Nakajima to be his permanent supplier for quite a while now. Big fucking deal.

You looked back at Sam, "Hey, I'm sorry. Can you give me a couple of minutes?" you asked with an apologetic expression.

"Take your time." Sam nodded with a smile.

You went over to Beverly's desk and took over the phone call, without knowing that Sam trailed behind you. He watched you carefully as you talked to Mister Nakajima, your demeanor calm yet confident.

"Hi, Mister Nakajima. I'm the company's Marketing Head and I would like to apologize for the mix up. Bucky has been working really hard on improving the quality of our products, he's been in meetings in and out. That being said, would it be alright if I take over this afternoon's meeting instead? Bucky worked on an amazing presentation and I honestly would love to go over it with you and just show you how this partnership would be beneficial for both our companies." you asked.

Fortunately, you were able to appease Mister Nakajima while also saving Beverly's ass for her honest mistake. As soon as the call was done, you reassured Beverly that everything was fine now and that you'll take care of Bucky. By the time you looked back at Sam, he was merely smiling at you.

"You're really good with people."

-

Lunch break passed by quickly, with you, Sam and Beverly engaging in all sorts of conversations. Even Beverly felt comfortable being around his presence. He mainly talked about his experiences at his first job, giving Beverly a couple of tips on how to navigate through the corporate world.

Sam was very kind.

The planning resumed after lunch and by the time Mister Nakajima and his associates arrived, the launch plan was pretty much refined with a lot of details. Sam excused himself to give you time to meet with Mister Nakajima, however, he said he'll be staying until Bucky comes back.

Presenting to Mister Nakajima made you nervous as fuck, especially that he didn't really work closely with you which might affect his decision. Luckily though, you knew Bucky's presentation like the back of your hand due to the fact that he had gone over it with you for a couple of times back when the two of you were still, well, fucking around.

Ah, the good old days.

The meeting with Mister Nakajima went perfectly well because as soon as you were done with the presentation, the old man simply asked for the contract to seal the deal. Although it wasn't you who actually worked on the deck, you had a sense of fulfillment. You were proud of yourself and you couldn't wait to dangle it right in front of Bucky's face.

"Thank you so much, Mister Nakajima. We are excited for this partnership." you said happily as you led him and his associates out of the conference room, just as when Bucky arrived.

He looked confused when Mister Nakajima greeted him happily, shaking his hand and telling him how good his presentation was. Bucky looked over at you, as if asking what the hell was going on. You merely shrugged and headed back inside the conference with Sam.

Bucky followed shortly and for some reason, he looked agitated. He was about to speak up when Sam beat him to it, giving him a hard pat on the back.

"The launch event is gonna be really good." he said confidently before glancing at you.

"You're lucky to have her, Bucky." he said before bidding goodbye, giving you one last look and a wink as well, something that Bucky immediately noticed.

When Sam left, so did the light atmosphere inside the conference room. Bucky turned to you with a scowl, his footsteps rushed and heavy as he approached you.

"What the hell happened with Mister Nakajima?" he asked gruffly.

You smiled as you handed him an envelope, "The partnership is a go. He signed the contract and his team will be keeping in contact with us and our factory soon." you explained proudly.

Bucky took the envelope from your hand and went through the contract before placing it back on the table. "I thought my meeting with him isn't until Friday."

"Beverly mixed up your schedule and before you even reprimand her, give the girl a break. It's her first job and with the amount of meetings you've been having, mix-ups are inevitable. What matters now is that I took over the presentation and Mister Nakajima signed the contract." you explained with nonchalance.

Bucky shook his head, "The end does not justify the means." he said. "Beverly should have been careful. My schedule is not a joke and if I miss another important meeting, that can fuck up the entire company."

You rolled your eyes, "Calm down, Beverly surely learned from today's mistake. It's done. The deal is on. Everything is peachy. The launch details have been planned out, Sam is happy with it. All I have to do is to secure your and Mackenzie's approval for it and then we can start with the execution. You're welcome." you said all in one breath, handing Bucky a USB containing the details of the launch.

You brushed past Bucky to leave the conference room but you were immediately pulled back with his hand around your arm. He looked down at you with an angry look on his face, almost fuming. You couldn't understand why the fuck he was so aggravated with you today. Sure, he had been testing your patience lately but it was the first time he actually looked like he was going to snap.

Not at the situation, but at you.

"Are you trying to impress Sam? Taking on my responsibilities while he's around?" he asked, eyes narrowing at you.

You scoffed, unable to believe what Bucky was accusing you of. Pulling your arm back, you took a step back and looked at him with disgust. "You're unbelievable, Bucky." you said.

"Had I not stepped in, we would have lost the deal. You promoted me for a reason, and I believe part of it is my leadership skills. And no, I'm not trying to impress Sam. I'm simply doing my fucking job." you hissed and tried to side step Bucky, only for him to block your way.

"Did he offer you a position in his company? What the fuck was the wink all about?" Bucky accused yet again.

"Oh my god, Bucky! You're blowing things out of proportion. He didn't. We talked about the event. That's it." you explained, pinching the bridge of your nose because Bucky was getting on your very last nerve.

Bucky had been fucking with you too much now and you could feel the last bits of your composure slowly slip away with every word that was coming out of his mouth. Coming for your job was one thing, but accusing you of flirting your way to another company? That was a low blow.

"Don't lie to me, I saw the notification on your phone the other day. Seems to me like Tinder matches don't work for you anymore, you moved on to LinkedIn now to find connections instead?" he asked and that particular statement struck a certain nerve.

You let out a bitter scoff, "Do you even hear yourself, Bucky? At least Sam was being professional and didn't use Tinder to hire a fucking consultant to threaten my damn job!" you slipped, unable to hold back.

The look on Bucky's face was a whirlwind of emotions-- shock, wrath, exhaustion-- and you felt like you were supposed to get scared. Gone were the blue orbs that used to make you feel safe, his eyes only held anger in them. And the thing was, your eyes looked the same as you held Bucky's gaze.

You were so fucking tired of everything, of Bucky.

"How did you-- it doesn't matter." Bucky said, shaking his head. "How much did Sam offer you?" he asked.

Your jaw dropped at the implication of Bucky's statement, "You are a fucking asshole, Bucky. Sam didn't offer me a fucking job. You really don't listen, Bucky. You never listen." you huffed out exasperatedly.

"Okay, maybe he hasn't laid down his offer yet. Perhaps, you let him fuck you too?"

Your vision blacked out upon hearing that and by the time you regained your senses, all you could feel was how your palm stung. You had walked up to Bucky and slapped him right across the face, hard enough to make the corner of his bottom lip bleed. Your entire body was trembling from rage as you stood in front of Bucky.

He tilted his head as he wiped the blood off from his lip, looking up at you with lust-filled eyes. And then his hand gripped your neck, tugging you close for a bruising kiss. You grunted against his mouth and pushed him away, slapping him again. Before Bucky could even recover, your fingers wrapped around his tie pulling him down to you for another kiss.

Walls crumbled down, tension was broken and needs were being fulfilled. The rush of emotions blurred the line between fury and lust with the latter obviously winning. All you could think about was the throb that you suddenly felt within your core begging for relief.

Relief that was denied from you for the past few weeks of playing cat and mouse with Bucky.

And with the way Bucky was kissing you, you knew he felt the same. It had been too long and both your minds were too hazy to even care that it was only five in the afternoon and that there were employees working just outside the conference room.

Was the fear of getting caught going to stop you? No, not now. Because you needed release and you were sure as hell going to get it. This wasn't like the other times you and Bucky fucked. You didn't care about Bucky at the moment, how he felt or what was going on in his mind. You just needed to release all your pent up emotions and you were going to use Bucky to get what you need.

Bucky pushed you against the table, your tailbone hitting the edge with such force that made you groan from pain.

"Yeah, why don't you make some noise so everyone can see how fucking needy you are for me?" Bucky growled, gripping your face with one hand, forcing you to keep your eyes on him as his other hand bunched your skirt up to your waist.

You let out a chuckle, "I'm not the one going to make noise here." you warned before reaching down to palm his erection.

Bucky hissed and bit his lip hard to prevent himself from eliciting a moan. His jaw ticked as he squeezed your face tighter, forcing you to open your mouth as his eyes scanned your features.

"Watch your fucking mouth, baby. I still own you, you're fucking mine." he said through gritted teeth, his eyes lidded as he looked down at you like a predator.

You kept your mouth closed but as soon as Bucky's fingers found your damp panties, you weren't able to stop your whimper. Bucky took the opportunity and spit in your mouth before crashing his lips against yours in a messy kiss. It was all tongue and spit, the way he kissed you as his fingers rubbed at your folds through the thin fabric of your underwear.

He kissed you like he owned you.

"I'm not yours, Bucky." you said as your hands quickly unbuckled his belt, unzipping his trousers and pulling out his hard cock from the confines of his boxers.

The groan that reverberated from Bucky's chest as you stroked him made you smirk. His hand on your face slid down to your neck, holding you tightly as he pushed aside your underwear and then he slid into you with no prior warning. The lack of foreplay made it hurt when he bottomed out, but the pain quickly turned into pleasure when Bucky started moving his hips against yours.

No words were further exchanged from then on. Only soft whimpers and hushed grunts could be heard. However, it was clear that even up until now, there was competition. You didn't want to make noise, didn't want to lose to Bucky. You didn't want to give him the pleasure of knowing how fucking good he was making you feel right now, with how each drag of his cock was making your toes curl inside your heels.

Your hands held onto his broad shoulders as he fucked you against the table, the fabric of his suit bunching up against your fingers. Bucky kept his gaze on you and not once did you falter, not even when the tip of his cock hit your cervix, almost punching the air out of your lungs.

Bucky held the back of your thighs and lifted you up, sitting you on the edge of the table and bending forward so he could angle his cock in a way that you would feel it deep within you. Your legs automatically wrapped around his waist, one of your hands scratching at his jaw as he continued to pound your sopping cunt.

"God, fucking missed this pussy. Can feel you clamping down on my cock, you gonna cum soon?" he asked, pressing the tip of his nose against yours.

You clamped a hand over your mouth, muffling the wanton moan that Bucky pounded out of you. Not wanting to be the only one to make noise, you clenched around him hard. Bucky let out a growl at how your walls squeezed his cock, his balls tightening as his own orgasm approached.

"Cum for me, Bucky." you whimpered, tipping your head up to lick at Bucky's mouth as your legs tightened around his waist to pull him deeper into you.

Bucky exhaled heavily through his nose, the veins on his neck popping out as he fucked your harder on the table. He kept his hand wrapped around your neck while the other held onto your waist so tight, you could feel his fingers digging deep into your skin. Even with your clothes on, you were sure that you'll be getting bruises from how hard his grip on you was.

"Go on, Bucky. Want your cum inside, want to feel you fill me up again." you moaned against his parted lips, darting your tongue out to taste his mouth.

The needy tone of your voice sent Bucky to the edge first. He uttered a string of curses under his breath as ropes of his cum painted your walls with their warmth with triggered your orgasm. Your body convulsed as waves of pleasure ran through your veins, starting from your fingertips down to your toes. Bucky kissed you and swallowed your moans as his thrusts slowed down.

It took a while for the both of you to recover from the intense fucking. Bucky nuzzled your neck with his nose, his heavy breaths warming up your sweaty skin. There was a short moment of peace that followed, the tension gone and was replaced by a heavy feeling.

You swallowed hard and slowly regained your senses. The release cleared your mind and the memories of the heated exchange from earlier were quick to come back. Bucky's accusations echoed in your ear and they were so clear it almost felt like he was saying them to you again.

Suddenly, you doubted Bucky's intentions when he promoted you. Was he really impressed of your skills at work or was it because you let him fuck you?

"Get off of me." you said, pushing at Bucky's chest until he straightened up.

Ignoring the emptiness you felt when his cock slipped out of you, you hopped down from the table and started fixing yourself. In the many times you had slept with Bucky, it was the first time that you felt disgusted with yourself.

You turned your back to Bucky as you adjusted your underwear, pulling down your skirt and pressing your palms against the fabric to iron out the creases. Your breath was heavy as you processed what had just happened. And just like that, your reserve broke and the strong facade you had built crumbled down into pieces, leaving you vulnerable.

"Hey, are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Bucky suddenly asked when he heard your sniffing, the darkness in his features gone.

His eyes were back to blue and there was nothing but genuine concern when he saw the tears in your eyes. Bucky tried to approach you but you quickly backed away from him, your arms wrapping around yourself as protection.

"Did you hurt me?" you scoffed. "In more ways than one, Bucky." you quickly added, wiping away your tears hastily with the back of your hand.

You were about to walk out of the conference but decided that it was probably time for you to actually speak up about everything. How you felt for him and how much you hated him for coming at you like that.

"I was going to admit that I like you. I thought about it and figured that I was too proud and a bit selfish for not considering your feelings when I rejected you." you explained.

Bucky blinked in confusion, "What? When?"

You shrugged, "The day you brought in Mackenzie. And I was more hurt than mad that you did that. Because you knew how much this job means to me and you had used it against me. You basically took advantage of my weakness, for what? To get me to cave in? Even when I clearly told you how fucking scared I was of the consequences of whatever kind of relationship we have?" you huffed out.

You didn't allow Bucky to speak, not yet. Not until you were done making him understand why you had been so hell-bent on keeping things professional.

"I wasn't born into a rich family like you, Bucky. I had to work my way up to where I am. Unlike you, I have a family to support and if I lose this job, it's not only me who would suffer. And it won't be easy for me to find another one, not after the reputation I'd have once we get busted." you further explained.

"I told you about it so many times and I wish you listened. Because maybe we could've figured shit out. Or I don't know, maybe the fucking was too good and you only wanted me for that." you shrugged.

Bucky quickly shook his head, "No. God no, you're more than that."

You chuckled again, a fresh wave of tears flooding the corners of your eyes. "It most definitely felt like it when you accused me of fucking Sam."

"Fuck, I'm sorry. Let me explain, please? I didn't mean to, I was too--"

"No, Bucky. You didn't listen to me when I told you how I felt about us. Now you're going to know how it feels to not to get what you want." you sternly said before walking over to the door.

You turned back at Bucky and refused to let his expression get to you. He looked devastated, his eyes glassy from the tears he had been holding back, his lips parted as he finally realized what he had done.

"Expect my resignation letter by tomorrow. As soon as we're done with the launch, I'm out."

-

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