#and none of it is ever mentioned again
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Unresolved issues facing Ferelden after the end of the Fifth Blight:
Orlais
a failed harvest caused by tainted fields and/or the civil war being fought on the land
stragglers from the darkspawn horde
rebuilding Denerim and other towns/villages
massive depopulation
foreign government getting twitchy about the number of refugees still having the nerve to be refugees
political unrest because your choices for ruler are a) a half-commoner whom nobody knew about until 5 minutes ago b) someone who technically doesnāt have a claim to the throne beyond āwas already doing the job might as well keep doing itā c) a combination of (a) or (b) with added spice of being from a family who is politically op but was also all but erased less than a year ago
trade deal with Orzammar (?)
Orlais
political unrest because the city elves were promised power and thereās not really any way to stop them if they riot about it
scrutiny from Wiesshaupt because thereās no way two junior Wardens killed an archdemon by themselves in a year
not enough mabari anymore :(
potentially an old god demon baby who might destroy the world
so we found Andrasteās ashes, whoās going to send an army for Andrasteās ashes?
#this is not an exhaustive list#i swear i'm writing a fic about all of these various messes#or most of them anyway#fereldan politics#and none of it is ever mentioned again#except maaaaybe in passing in da2#ferelden#dragon age meta
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we accept the love we think we deserve or whatever Stephen Chbosky said
#how do you spell doormat again#imagine being born to be used. that's human weapon behaviour. that's more-of-a-possession-than-a-person behaviour.#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#shinya hiiragi#although actually none of this was ever mentioned and i'm just interpreting the saddest possible thing into every little fact i see#still. shinoa and shinya deserved none of this#ok but ''i guess being used by mahiru wasn't enough for you'' HELLO?? EXCUSE ME????#the disrespect#also i have no clue what kureto could have possibly meant by that like mahiru literally called shinya useless to his face#what did she use him for?? playing dress up??????
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Idc if it's a fictional character. the way you speak and act about black characters in your fav media is and always will be, telling of how you think about us in reality. don't be surpised if it makes people wary when it comes to interaction
#i dont like the notion that its completely seperate simply bc these are characters#youve internalized how to act towards us ofc that extends to cartoons or actors that you perceive the same way???#again its quite telling#this isnt rlly about anything specific/is about literally everything ever#this also obviously applies particularly to woman and fat people#queer people too but so many in fandom r white and queer and act atrociously so#youre not part of this conversation in any way other than your poor behavior#like this is mostly about black peoole and obviously none of the others mentioned are like mutally exclusive but still yknow#moth.txt
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āIām sorry that I rejected you back then.ā
#never let me go#never let me go ep8#chopperben#perthchimon#perth tanapon#chimon wachirawit#gmmtv#thai bl#bl drama#UHM HELLO???????#youre telling me ben has known about choppers feelings this whole time and chopper even confessed to him????#and yet they were acting like none of this ever happened for the past 7 episodes???#they couldn't have mentioned that sooner??#like ben was literally like after you confessed to me i distanced myself from you etc and then cut to that scene from episode 2#where ben was like why are you suddenly talking to me again after you distanced yourself from me for no apparent reason?#like make it make sense??#excellent storytelling once again lmao#but anyway!!!!#i need them to get together now please thank you#next week okay?#im waiting#jdhskds
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hi everyone ! <3
i very recently hit the milestone of 500 followers on this blog! first and foremost, i want to say a super huge massive great big THANK YOU to everyone who has followed me here, and also to anyone who has ever interacted with one of my fics! i want you to know that genuinely, every like, every reblog, every ask and every single piece of feedback warms my heart so much. couldn't do this shit without you guys. second and... secondmost? (don't look at me like that) i wanted to try to give back some of that love and play around a little (especially with writing for members i've never written before) by doing a little event. SO... until my birthday on the 14th MARCH, i'm going to be be taking prompt requests! (t's + c's under the cut, please read them! i will delete any asks that don't follow these simple guidelines.)
EVENT RUNTIME ā
exactly four weeks, from today! any asks sent with requests after THURSDAY 14th MARCH will be deleted!
HOW TO ā
to send a request, just send me an ask containing both the member you're requesting for and a prompt from one of the following lists! fluff | smut | angst
PLEASE NOTE ā
regardless of whether your request is for smut, fluff or angst, MY BLOG IS STRICTLY FOR PEOPLE 18+ ONLY. please respect this. minors, do not interact with me: you will get blocked.
if you can, try not to be too specific with your requests: ideally, member + prompt only. however, if you picked a fluff prompt but wanted it to be a smut piece, that's okay! just let me know. otherwise, keep it minimal.
i'm going to try to keep these relatively short (ie. no more than about 2.5k words each). don't hold me to that though. if something tickles my fancy it'll no doubt be more.
please be patient with me. i'm new to this. i may not (probably definitely won't) write these in order of receiving them. i might take some time to get to yours. i am not ignoring your ask! i'll likely even end up writing some of these after the event has ended. please don't come into my inbox asking where yours is because i might cry. thanks. <3
everything for this event will be tagged mw500party! do with that what you will.
i am not taking regular requests at this time! hard hours are always welcome (please come and drop your most unhinged thoughts in my inbox, i'll love u forever) but if you send a request that is not linked to a prompt as per this event, it will just get deleted.
if (strong on the 'if', i am 90% expecting this to flop and therefore for this post to self destruct in like 3 working days) i get overwhelmed with the number of these that get sent in, i may choose to close this up early. that's at my discretion. i'll try not to! and i'll let you know if that seems likely to happen.
and... that's it? i think! again, i really can't overstate how much it means to have you guys all here and supporting me. thank you, from the bottom of my silly little heart. i hope you'll stick around for wherever my brainworms take me from here on out. peace.<3
#j talks.#psa.#mw500party!#i'm not kidding if this flops none of u saw this post and we won't mention it ever again. KISSES <3#i will pull a rita ora on you all. don't think i won't.#(no i have been debating over doing this for several weeks now but if i don't post it tonight perhaps! i never will! so here we are!)#(and am i procrastinating writing high fidel despite the fact it is 218 in like three days? maybe. WE AREN'T GONNA TALK ABOUT IT)#(me to me: i can finish this fic by his birthday and also write a dk fic too. easy.) (turns out me? is a fucking liar) (who knew)#(PLS SEND SOMETHING OR I WILL COMBUST MWAH MWAH LOVE U BYE)#i beg that u ignore the banner. my fucken brain juice equals zero.#OK ACTUALLY BYE NOW. bye
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My brain at 2 am : what if... au where Var died and Aiden is the one carrying the journey through the trials in an attempt to appease their grief
Me : ... stop that
My brain : so V takes his mother's place in the narrative and the name of the series just becomes a reminder of his absence
Me : ...
My brain : anyway. Here's a "We'll be fine" animatic except it's Aiden and Yong singing :)
Me, crying : omg-
#in case you think my aiden obsession is getting better. the answer is no#eryanbles#aurghhhquhdusuqq none of you will ever know how tragic for Aiden it would have been if V died during the series#its the moment their relationship is at its worst- imagine the last time you see your childhood friend before their death is an argument???#they already feel guilty for whatever hardships the other went through but if it had resulted in actual death????? god-#dont mind me I am sleep deprived yet again š#eryanwrites#i guess#death mention#my brain just really likes to kill off V
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. āsavesā her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is āi probably won't stop even if you doā#āguess i am like my father after allā and yashiro still goes āyou're not. you're pure and im the problemā#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the āyour sister was lucky she had youā.#wips tag
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Still alive, writing and editing a lot and even drawing (mostly dragon sketches at work). Seasons has some new chapters now... I saw something earlier about writing being something you can hone by doing lots of reading and writing. I wonder when that will apply to me. I've read a lot of books this year. I have almost hit my goal of 90 books, and while a couple are nonfiction and half are comics, the rest are novels. I expect that to increase again, now that I'm going back to the library. (I stopped with the bed bug scare.) Then I'm setting aside time each week to write. I work on stories at work, even if it's mostly just planning. (My laptop is falling apart so I just gave up taking it to work.) Yet here I am, still the same idiot who doesn't have anything appealing enough for most people to read. I can't get 99% of my followers interested. Sales of Geckos have dropped to next-to-nothing. Nothing else I put out there matters either. The fault lies with me. I'm not good enough. After having this stupid blog for 12 years, I want to delete it. I want to delete my twitter account. I want to delete every single account and shut up for good. There is nothing I can offer. My writing is a good hobby for me. I can get pats on the head for doing a little thing for myself. Aww, look at the cute little dumbass adult doing wittle storwies!!! Isn't that silly!!! They're not good, but he's having fun during the process. Too bad he hasn't figured out that not even 39 more years of practice can save what he's handing out.
#people lied about āonce you have confidence nothing can take it awayā#nah that shit can get killed when you're a fucking pitiful fool like me!#until the day when I actually make something that's important to anyone this is just me being a child-brained idiot scribbling words down#I used to think I was semi-decent... I did before Rascal but figured Rascal was inferior to my usual work#Then I felt bad about my writing bc of discouragement and locked my work up#felt a surge of confidence a couple of weeks before I started Seasons tho#then had some confidence after that until 2023 (lots of bad shit happened that year)#it evaporated quickly but I tried to maintain some#and now it's just like... me trying to pretend and āfake it till you make itā has never worked for me#but let's be real: the more I showed I liked myself the more bothersome that was for some people I was close to#and it's better to tear me down than lift me up#so I guess the problem is that I just don't belong in the writing world with anyone else#I'll never be good enough and I'm frankly too mentally fucking delayed to have figured it out (like everything else)#hahahahaha people keep telling me I'm autistic and my brother is autistic and my parents refused a diagnosis for me when the Dr mentioned i#and here I am probably too autistic to have ever figured out a damn thing except that I'm pretty good at reading and liking stuff!#but not skilled at anything else#just a reader and worthless as anything else#oh and I guess crocheting but I want none of you to have that part of me ever again
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Kinda weird question- do you have any links to people talking about Mira from ZTD and ableist stereotypes? I mentioned that I was uncomfortable with her portrayal but kinda fumbled it and made some other ND people in chat uncomfortable. I searched for various keyword combinations but most of what I'm finding is like "and not to mention the ableism with Mira" and doesn't elaborate lol.
Not weird at all! And uh, you see, there's a recent post I made where what I complain about is the very fact I've never seen anyone post too in-depth about her at all, I'd love to see posts that do elaborate on that but I do not have any that I know of right now, sorry :/ hopefully someone else who sees this can point to one? Okay!! After some tag searches I have found exactly one post who kind of gets into it I like this take still would love to see. more than just one but hooray
And like though I complain I couldn't elaborate much on it myself I don't think, I believe most of the posts people make about Saito from aitsf would apply since it's a different uchikoshi take on the very same trope of "emotionless characters who cannot function without killing others" I guess he's a worse portrayal though since she's at least not stated to get reward brain chemicals when killing people and I guess her case also has the added layer of "femme fatale" to it? Which either makes it less bad or worse depending on where you approach it from As I said I am not doing a good job of being coherent on this oh and also there's her being "redeemed" and "cured" in the epilogue which in on itself is kinda not great to imply it just goes away like that and honestly I personally don't even buy it I think she'd just be like oh okay Akane over here has like a thousand reasons to hate me after all that oh and what's that she's the leader of a super wealthy underground organization who's organized one of these death traps before yeah no I'm better off going to prison I'll be fine there lmao bye
But I'll say as an autistic person with relatively low empathy I usually see a character who just doesn't understand other people's feelings and wants to feel them too and is just trying to survive despite getting no help and I just kinda go hm. yeah. shout-out to roxas kingdom hearts shout out to mary from ib shout out that's why I started hyperfixating on media art helps me with understanding others a great lot and Mira is just in a story too badly executed for me to care or even begin to wrap my head around tbh like god she's so fucking terribly used as a plot device in every conceivable way that it makes it difficult to see past it and into what she could possibly be if it weren't for the stereotype of equalling low empathy with no compassion what's with her killing off screen in ways that wildly deviate from her stated m.o? why or how was she even in cahoots with Zero why was that a thing? Honestly her dynamic with Sean could have been better fleshed out could have done something interesting about robot child and his aspd big sis but we just kind of don't get any attention brought to the subject of emotions and the authenticity there of except for the "reveal"...
YOU KNOW WHAT that's probably one huge reason it feels so fucked up actually! Like the whole fucking game is written so you could experience it in whatever order you want and therefore Mira being a serial killer at all is something that though not very well hidden it also cannot be a topic of discussion or explored Ever ever because the player may not have seen the fragment where that is revealed yet- problem being the menu design of that game sucks so bad and practically everyone gravitates towards the same few more interesting looking thumbnails first and then the rest is kinda just there, I mean that is part of the reason A Lot of characters feel half-baked I think but also I think it definitely does impact perception of her character specifically probably The Most and then there's just the general not being given nuance not being able to see the minutiae of how that disorder manifests in her character aside from the killings about how she acts aside from being overly flirty trying to lure in Eric but that affects pretty much all of the new cast we don't have last names and in her case we barely have any backstory at all like Saito is a harmful stereotype sure but we get So Much Context for him that people still love talking about him and delving into different aspects of his life since we have that very well telegraphed in the narrative meanwhile for Mira all we can do is fill in the blanks guesswork that only highlights the worst aspects of the surface level portrayal we got and ultimately that people just don't care enough to dissect because there isn't much there character wise once you remove it
#oh to be miraposting on a sunday evening instead of catching up on schoolwork#I love how you can see the exact moment while writing this that I had a brain blast akdhks#me: sorry I can't elaborate also me: types out. three paragraphs#also if you're comfortable with that I'm curious what you could have possibly said that it'd be considered fumbling#dms are open if you send it into an ask I'll answer privately and again only if you want to share#cause like I want to see different perspectives on this so bad even if they're not eloquent#especially since it's not really something that ever got to me much? but that I can kinda see why it'd be upsetting#my suspension of disbelief is just too tanked for it to get an emotional reaction of me especially with the rest of the cast for contrast#I'm too busy being annoyed at everyone else's portrayal in that game not to mention idk it feels like#like schlocky hollywood no thoughts character archetype go brr type ableism#not the really insidious woven into the narrative stuff that I usually want to rant about cough cough youtube video I'll probably never mak#like pretty sure it's stated somewhere that the idea for her character was uchikoshi going hm. there's been femme fatales in these games#but none of them have been Really āFataleā you know? he literally just wanted the big booba character to also be the stabby character#zero escape#ztd#mira ztd#if this should be under a readmore. let me know#zero escape spoilers#escape room convention but it's a time loop
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š¹ č¤åéé· Ć ē“ē§ š | ćå
ćåćøć Naohide is probably also on the moon now.
#ęę¬ä½#tasuku emoto#å
ćåćø#hikaru kimi e#made by me#fujiwara no michinaga#č¤åéé·#ęÆēå
å#Katsuya Maiguma#naohide#ē“ē§#michinaga's adam's apple rolling when mahiro mentioned naohideš¢š¢š¢#I said to myself the last time when I made the color gifset that I will never rewatch ep09 ever again#but here I am. rewatching the heartbreaking part to make this set :'(#the third prince x the mystery man#*sigh*#btw I always picture michinaga as a little brother so it's really weird that naohide decided to call him aniue#I mean. look at him in the 5th & 7th...that's not a big brother!???#looking back now he's really the string that not only pulled michinaga & mahiro together#most importantly he's THE driving force behind both of their careers#well. michinaga's getting greedy and mahiro searching for dark shadows of humanity instead of funny stories#but without naohide none of them would be where they are now
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iām gonna be so for real, if things donāt start changing for me in good ways i will be disappearing off the face of the earth
#Rasp Rambles#vent#my mental health is already in a shitty state and i am already considering multiple different ways to end my own fucking life#suicide mention#like iām genuinely hanging on by the thinnest fucking thread only because i have friends that care about me. i donāt want any of them to be#sad about me dying. iād say the same for my family but i donāt they ever have really given a shit about me so what does it matter.#iāve been forced to be the perfect; quite child my entire fucking life and that was never good enough. i had to be kind and respectful#even though none of the adults in my family ever really were that to me. and the ones who were didnāt stay that way for long. it truly#sucks so fucking badly that i canāt get away from any of them. i donāt have a job because mental health issues; some physical health issues#and my lack of drivers license and car. i canāt financially support myself. i never get to fucking leave the house and go anywhere but the#store or my grandparentās house with my mom and sister. i have ONE irl friend who iām not even sure considers me a friend because#we havenāt gotten to hang out much since i graduated in 2023. i have practically no fucking support system in the physical world.#i donāt get to do fun things i enjoy that arenāt internet related besides drawing. but artblock and general depression are doing their#damn best to prevent me from even enjoying the creative process at all. one may think its difficult to feel lonely when youāre living in a#house with at least one other person but its fully fucking possible apparently. for me at least. i really wish my mom would actually get me#a therapist or psychiatrist i can see in person but we all know thatāll never fucking happen because again; she doesnāt fucking care enough#to make any actually helpful attempts to get me medicated for whatever the fucks going on in this stupid head of mine.#sorry for being incredibly fucking depressed and mad at 3am. it will happen again unfortunately for all of us.
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adding onto that one I feel like they put too much emphasis on how bad bucky feels about killing while he was the winter soldier as if he hadn't killed what must have been countless people beforehand
#it's just kind of lame and it feels almost like a cop out from talking about anything else ever#of course he should feel something. he SHOULD feel guilty because killing will do that to you no matter what#but they paint it as if he only ever killed innocent civilians and he's just so sorry about it#i don't think he should have to actually feel sorry. of course he does but he shouldn't have to! but the narrative doesn't agree with me#none of it is his fault but that will never stop that guilty ache in his gut#but he also willingly stayed in the war. killing and fighting must have eaten him up inside but he was still able to go out again every day#he was out there for almost 2 years before the train he would have grown accustomed to it all a long time ago#and i'm sure that kept him up at night because again of course it did. it would for a long long time. maybe forever!#but it's not the only thing about his past worth mentioning is what i'm trying to say#it shouldn't be seen as the worst of his trauma#and he didn't have to stay. so i don't think the blood on his hands as the ws should bother him the specific way it does in canon#ok i feel like i didn't word any of that right but whatever. remember that stupid line about him and hydra
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like i think it is baffling to me how ive only seen one person ever discussing the immense amount of racism in this book because this is like. shes been powering up her racism in her writing to blast out with this bullshit. like this is so fucking gross.
#twist rambles#vc posting#antiblackness#on WHAT earth do u not consider the fact that these white bird ppl r owning these Black people and created them for their purpose. solely t#reproduce. like she cant help herself w the good slave owner adjacent shit even if its supposed to be parental#it is still referred to these bird ppl owning htem and using them for their purposes. this is so vile i need her to die again#i just. jesus christ. jesus. i can see why the fandom is so racist now bc the source material is chock full of this shit and no one examine#it ever bc haha just toxic gothic romance books ^-^ dont ask about louis owning slaves or the amt of slurs lol ^-^#sorry i just. im not trying to fill the dash with how bad this is but oh my fucking god. and how do none of the top goodreads reviews#mention ANY of this shit. i just. in 2016. she was ELDERLY. she should have died before writing this.
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lowkey. Not over my ex at all
#Itās been months man#And yet I still feel the ever lasting effects#Am k cruel? Manipulative? I donāt think I am but he said I was and I so badly want to believe it#Cuz maybe Iāll actually fix whatās wrong with me and people will actually love me#also s very love sick in the sense that I need someone to be in love with me#But going t4t hasnāt worked out that well for me (cough cough my ex..)#N I donāt wanna fuck up coming out to any cis guys#Which idek if I truly like them or if Iām just so desperate Iāll fall in love with anyone as long as they treat me right#I think one of th things keeping me from getting over him is the fact that he was so affectionate??? And I had gotten so used to that#Constant feeling cuz I never really had it before and now that I donāt have it anymore I donāt know what to do with myself#Not to mention Iām too scared to do all that again because he always wanted more despite my protests#I fucking hate this. How can I be touch starved and repulsed at the same time#I canāt do this shit anymore man. Fuck.#Vent#There r certain people o wish could see this but none of them use tumblr fuck fuck fuck#Me when one had mild crushes on cis guys )okay maybe just one that I donāt even think saw me as a real friend in the one semester k had wit#Himā¦) but weāre so different and I think he hates me and heās friends with my friends and ijhhhhwj#I hate hate hate love#Hate being in love. Hate that I canāt be in love. Hate that nobody loves me#I actually cannot take this shit anymore itās one of the only things that truly ever gets to me anymore
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Wait Iām 70% sure ocpd is a thing unless you meant itās not real in the antipsych way not the literal way
i had no idea that was a thing i just used those words to avoid using the term obsessive compulsive disorder bc thatās not something iāve been diagnosed with or feel like i can claim to have lol
#iām anti psych too tbh but. thatās not whatās happening here#and after looking it up briefly i think itās safe to say i donāt have ocpd for sure although i def see some overlap between my experiences#and those described#much more so for ocd like. i would say descriptions of ocd match up with my experience pretty much 1 to 1 lol#but like. none of my admittedly brief conversations with the few therapists or psychs iāve seen in my life have ever like. cared abt that#cared is the wrong verb lol. none of those conversations have resulted in anyone caring i should say#so like. itās. probably just anxiety no need for fancy self diagnoses#plus again iām. anti psych as a field and pseudoscience especially the tiktokification of diagnoses so like.#whatever#but thatās a whole other can of worms#yfeel? ANYWAYS no yeah lol i specifically worded it so as not to mention a real Thing but oops apparently i failed
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I'm separating clothes so I can donate them and I'm having such a hard time mentally
#ive been living in this house for 7 years i think so i never really got rid of clothes#and now im seeing clothes i wore when i was like 17-18-19 and i was so fucking small i want to kill myself#idk if i was holding on the them in hopes of ever fitting into it again but its pratically impossible#also none of those clothes would fit whay i consider my style nowadays how did i change so much#so many colors and patterns and flowers like who are you#image mention#idk how to tag sorry
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