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angstyandromanticwriting · 11 months ago

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Barbie/Barbra Handler X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute and Fluffy Prompt

• Occurs after the events of the film

• There will be more!

!TW: Swearing, violence, implied being previously abused by family and/or an ex partner, implied suffering from anxiety + separation anxiety + depression, mention of previously being manipulated + controlled + gaslit, hints of self doubt, self put-down(s), mention of having an alcohol addiction + alcohol poisoning + substance abusing with alcohol, alcohol, mention of previously being raped + pregnancy as a result of rape, mention of having nightmares, implied suffering from trauma/a slight PTSD as a result of experienced abuse by ex + family, implied wanting to die, implied sexual occurrence(s) - If I’ve missed any, let me know ❤️!

“Don’t fucking touch me-!” You cried, before shoving Jack - your abusive ex - away from you, and he would grin, whilst you fumed, longing to wipe the smile off of his face, and before you could stop yourself, you would decide to try. “And stay away from Barbra!” You then hissed, before hastily punching him, prompting him to fall backwards onto his behind due to the suddenness of the shock, allowing you to rush off before he could do anything to you.

•

“I just-.. can’t believe you’d do something like that,” Barbra expressed, and you would falter, your eyes beginning to glisten a little whilst your heart began to ache faintly; you’d done it because you were afraid of what Jack might do to her, after he’d been one to join in on the abuse that your family had administered toward you whilst you were still living with them, and he’d also been manipulative, controlling, and often tried to gaslight you whenever he got the chance, “I mean-.. you hit him; he said-”

“You’ve only heard his side of the story,” you reminded her, whilst you stared down at your currently shaky hands; you were afraid of what Barbra might think of you, now; of the possibility that she might decide she never wanted to see you again for how you’d reacted with Jack, “you never asked for mine.”

“Then tell me,” she cooed, wanting to understand why you’d reacted like that whilst she held both of your hands in her’s, and her eyes tried to meet your’s, but your heart was racing, you felt overwhelmed, and knew that you’d break down if your gaze locked blissfully with her’s, now, “what happened? Did Jack do something to you?” You would tense up, a pained expression on your face, and Barbra would give your hands a gentle, reassuring squeeze, hoping it would encourage you to tell her what had happened, but you felt as if maybe you shouldn’t, at the same time - not yet; not until there were hints that she might end up getting together with him - something you dreaded more than anything happening, as you’d been falling deeper and deeper in love with her ever since you’d first met her outside of the Gynaecologist’s office, and had hoped that maybe she felt the same way, but doubted, at the same time, that someone as perfect as her could ever love a supposed nobody like you. “Please, Y/n,” she begged, desperate; she, too, didn’t want to lose you, as she’d also been developing feelings for you since that moment in the car park, “you can tell me, a-and I swear I - I won’t be upset, I-..”

She would subconsciously wince; she’d been about to let a certain three words slip, again, prompting her heart to skip a beat, and you would hopefully glance up at her, your heart sinking after she’d stopped herself, and looked as if she were scared of something; how you might react if she told you about the feelings she was, always would, and had always been harbouring for you. “It’s not my place to throw anyone under the bus,” you murmured dejectedly, whilst cursing yourself for feeling as if you were unable to tell her about all that he’d done to you, but you hoped that - maybe - it wasn’t her he was targeting; that it was still you; he might end up leaving her unharmed, and that was what you were treating the situation like, at the moment, until you were to see, or hear it suggested that they might start going out together. “I should go-”

“No,” Barbra whined, a hurt look on her face, prompting your heart to sink again, and to ache excruciatingly as soon as you’d noticed it; you hated upsetting her, and would wonder why she was still bothering with you, when she’d gotten an idea of what you were like the first day that you’d both spoken to one another: most likely broken, with a probable substance addiction within the mix which you could confirm was alcohol, and quite distrusting after all that had been done to you - however, you did recall how - as soon as your gaze had first fallen upon her, and as soon as you’d first heard her voice, you felt different; felt as if you were finally safe, and more content than you had ever been, before, though your heart was continuously racing, and pounding overwhelmingly, leaving you longing to hear, and see her again for the remainder of your life, and whatever was waiting beyond it. “Y/n, I - I know he did something to you,” she pried, wondering why you weren’t telling her, and feeling a little disheartened by this fact as it was like you didn’t trust her with the information you were withholding from her, when really you were just trying to avoid scaring her, or angering her against Jack, as you feared he might hurt her, too, if she confronted him about all that he’d done to you, and you knew that you’d never be able to forgive yourself if she got hurt by him, too, “just tell me, p-please, and I swear I’ll never talk to him, again, ever.”

“It-.. isn’t good, f-for me to put something like what he did into words,” you replied, whilst bowing your head again, and Barbra would frown, wishing she could lock eyes with you again like she had, before, finding herself getting lost within your eyes was something that seemed to help her calm down, and made her forget how to breathe, for a moment, in the best way possible, “and I don’t want you to h-have to - hear it, so please just-.. don’t ask me to tell you what he did, anymore.”

Barbra would hesitate, before begrudgingly giving in; she didn’t want to press you any further, and upset you any further than you already were, trying not to cry again, like she was, alongside you. “Okay,” she mustered, her voice briefly trembling, prompting your heart to ache again; you could tell she was on the verge of breaking down, and you hated it, especially when you knew it was because of you, “I won’t, but-.. i-if - if you ever wanna talk about anything, I’ll always be here for you, I promise, always, b-because.. you’re my best friend, Y/n, a-and - and I don’t know what I’d do, if I lost you.”

You would try and hide the fact that her referring to you as her ‘best friend’ had disheartened you more than you thought it would, prompting your heart to begin aching excruciatingly, but you would manage to force a smile up at her, but she would falter upon noticing it; she could tell that you were in pain, behind it, and would try not to feel guilty, though she felt as if she should, for a reason unbeknownst to her. “I’d be pretty lost without you, too,” you mused, “because you’re honestly-.. the-.. the best thing that’s ever happened to me - j-just promise me something.”

“Anything,” she responded, whilst smiling warmly over at you, prompting your heart to skip a beat, before it began to race again alongside your’s.

“Promise me I’ll never lose you,” you requested, your voice close to a whisper, and Barbra would nod hastily, certain that you both could never be parted, when it always felt like - to both of you - that you were made for one another, and you both revelled in the feeling constantly whenever you were close to one another.

“You’ll never lose me, I promise,” she cooed gently, “n-no matter what happens.” You would express relief, before smiling over at her again whilst the pain began to fade once more. “H-How long will you be gone for?” She inquired, and you would think about it for a moment; how you planned to go to the bar again, and to try and rid yourself of the remaining pain residing within you with the usual solution you tended to turn to - alcohol, though you’d recently been diagnosed with alcohol poisoning, and had been hiding it from Barbra and the others for a few days, almost a week, now, afraid of what they might think of you, if they found out about it.

“I’d say-.. an hour, or so?” You answered, and Barbra would try to hide that she had been saddened by your answer, nodding, before she smiled softly over at you again, and would then shyly get up, release your hands, so she could meander around the table to get to you, and wrap her arms around you, and you would instantly melt into her embrace, resting your head on her left shoulder whilst you returned the hug, and wondered why she was still bothering with you the way that she was. “M-Maybe less,” you added, “a-and look, you - you don’t have to watch Bailey-”

“Don’t worry,” she interjected gently, before holding you at arm’s length, and you would soon find yourself getting blissfully lost within her stunning icy blue eyes, again, making you feel safe, and as if you weren’t in pain anymore, “I’m happy watching Bailey, I promise, just - stay safe, okay? If you ever need me to come and get you, just call me, and I’ll be at your side in literally less than a millisecond, I promise.”

You would appear surprised, whilst also appearing flustered, your eyes glinting whilst blood rushed to your cheeks, and you couldn’t help, but glance down at her lips, wondering what it would feel like to move a little closer, and connect your’s to her’s. Barbra would also appear to be imagining it, subconsciously leaning forward a little, and delicately connecting her lips to your’s, and you would falter, before melting into the kiss, until you realised what you were doing; who you were, compared to her, and would force yourself to pull away, instantly feeling empty all over again once you had, whilst Barbra would appear disheartened by your reaction. “Barb,” you whispered, a pained expression on your face, before you affectionately connected your forehead to her’s, “l-look, we-.. we can’t, okay?”

She would appear puzzled, wondering what you meant. “W-What do you mean-?” She inquired, and you would frown, before hesitantly lifting your right hand up to her left cheek, and she would melt into your touch, wondering what the overwhelming feelings she was currently experiencing meant. “Are we not allowed-?” She pried, whilst a couple of stray tears would manage to escape both your, and her eyes, prompting your hearts to ache together again. “I’ll never get used to that happening,” she mused, quickly wiping away the stray tears whilst you tried to provide comfort to her by easing her closer to you in a hug, and stroking her hair.

“We’re allowed, but-.. you deserve better than me,” you explained, your voice briefly trembling whilst you rested your head on her right shoulder, staring ahead of you in a crestfallen manner whilst you tried to revel in the fact that you both were currently so close, again, with barely a gap between you, “f-find the right person, Barbie, don’t waste your time on me anymore.”

“But, Y/n-”

“Please, Barb,” you pleaded, holding her at arm’s length, and you would feel worse when you noticed that she was trying not to break down in front of you, her eyes glistening again, and already sore, somehow; she’d evidently been crying whilst her face had been buried into the crook of your neck, “I could never be good enough for you; never make you happy, or happier than you deserve to be; I’ll only make things worse for you, I know that for a fact, and I can’t let that happen.. just-.. w-wait until you find the right person, okay?” Barbra would hesitate, not sure what to do; she couldn’t imagine herself with anyone else, only you, and to hear you say that you thought you weren’t good enough for her pained her, but before she could protest, you would get up, and hastily leave the room, whilst you thought back to the kiss, and would begin to cry quietly again once you’d rushed through the front door, and would flee to the bar, wishing you could be a better person for her.

“I kissed her,” Barbra mused, after Gloria had passed you whilst you had been in a hurry to get out, and she would appear surprised, “I - I don’t know why, b-but-.. it-.. it felt - right, a-and-..” Barbra would then wince, feeling that her cheeks were beginning to heat up a bit; she’d begun to blush whilst she thought back to the kiss, and found herself wishing she could do it again; feel the fluttery feeling she’d briefly experienced, and how your lips perfectly connected to her’s, before you’d pulled away so suddenly, leaving her feeling empty, and numb all of a sudden. “I don’t know what’s happening to me,” she expressed, appearing nervous, and Gloria couldn’t help, but smile warmly over at her, whilst Barbra would appear puzzled, “is this - normal?”

“It’s more than normal,” Gloria reassured her, and she would then express relief, glad, “there’s nothing wrong with being in love with someone.”

Barbra would falter, whilst her eyes subconsciously began to glint; she’d never thought of it that way, before; of the possibility that she could, and began to believe that she was, and had been since she’d first met and spoken to you, in love with you, and the thought would prompt a smile to play on her lips whilst her heart began to race like it had, earlier, whilst you both had been kissing. “Wait,” another voice would chime, surprising both Barbra, and Gloria - and the voice evidently belonged to Sasha, “oh my god-! You’re in love with Y/n; I was right!”

“You - You knew?” Barbra mused, appearing confused again whilst she looked between Gloria and Sasha. “How?” She questioned, and Sasha would grin, amused, as well as elated by the fact that her assumptions had been right.

“It was obvious,” she claimed, “the way you both look at each other, and light up whenever you’re together, oh-! And there’s the way that you both go all funny when you’re together - like how you start blushing sometimes, and are constantly trying to be as close to each other as you possibly can be-”

“W-Wait,” Barbra interjected timidly, her voice close to a whisper whilst she recalled certain moments that Sasha had evidently picked up on; her subconsciously inching closer to you whenever you both were in the room together, and how you always ended up holding her hand for as long as you both possibly could, with no intentions to let go of one another as if your lives depended on doing so, and the memories - including the previous moment in which you and her had briefly shared a blissful, and sadly interrupted kiss - would only make her more flustered, and her blush to grow more prominent; she couldn’t help, but recall how it felt like - whenever you were both holding hands, or locked in a warm embrace - you were both made for one another, and fit perfectly together, as if you had been made to complete one another, somehow, like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together in the best way possible. “You-.. You think she - feels the same way, f-for me?” She inquired, whilst her eyes began to glint again, full of a newfound form of hope that maybe things would work out for you both; that you would be together, like she’d been finding herself hoping, and wishing after you’d left that you would be, as she found she couldn’t imagine her life without you in it, and couldn’t imagine herself being happy with anyone else.

She’d also found herself imagining what it would be like getting to even marry you, and the thought elated her, until she recalled how you had reacted, after a short, perfect moment, before you’d pulled away from her, turned her down, and rushed off before she could protest in response to your decision. “Yeah,” Sasha answered confidently, whilst Barbra would consider the possibility again hopefully, critically, desperate to try and achieve a solid answer, somehow, “haven’t you noticed the way she looks at you? Like you’re her entire world? Ever since she’s been here with us, I’ve never noticed her happier than when she’s with you, and the same goes for you, Barbie.”

“Yeah, but, she-..” Barbra would frown, not sure, and worried about what you might be thinking of her, now, after you’d both kissed, and you’d rushed off the way you had. “She wasn’t - happy, w-when I kissed her, a-and-.. I don’t know, s-she said she-.. she wasn’t good enough for me, a-and told me to find someone - better than her - does that mean she-.. doesn’t feel the same way, or-?”

“It sounds like she’s afraid of disappointing you,” Gloria mused, and Barbra would realise, a hurt look on her face; she was sure you wouldn’t; couldn’t disappoint her, and wished you’d atleast give yourself a chance with her, especially when she was certain - more than anything she’d been certain of, before - that you both belonged together, and would always be together, no matter what ended up happening in the future, “you should try and talk to her, when she gets back, but if that doesn’t work, I’m sure me and Sasha will come up with something to try and - y’know, spark something up for you both; get her to realise that you’re both meant for each other, like I’m sure you are.” Gloria would then grin, recalling how she’d thought that there had been something between you both when Barbra had first introduced you to her, and had been chirpier around you, as well as appeared to be more excited that she ever had been, before, as well as especially more giggly around you than she usually was around them. “Wanna know something? I also thought that there was something between you both, when you first introduced us to her,” Gloria admitted, and Barbra would appear surprised, as well as further flustered, whilst her eyes began to glint again, and heart would begin to pound against her ribcage as if it planned to break through it, and jump into your arms so it could be closer to your heart, like it so longed to be, and had since she’d first met you, “and I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen, so we could start looking at wedding dresses together.” Barbra would falter, even further flustered than she was, before, somehow, and Gloria would smirk over at her, amused by her reaction. “It’s gonna happen, Barb, I promise,” she continued, and Barbra would smile as best as she could, before nodding timidly, “I’ll be in the next room whilst you both are talking, and I promise I’ll try and think of a plan if something goes wrong, so don’t worry if it does, okay? Believe it or not, but - me and Sasha are the best versions of Cupid in the world; we managed to get two of my friends together not too long ago, now, and I’m sure we could do the same, for you and Y/n - just watch; we’ll be planning your and her wedding in no time.”

“I hope so,” Barbra replied thoughtfully, “a-as long as she’d-.. want to get married, to me.”

“She will, don’t worry,” Gloria tried to reassure her, “I’m sure she will, but - don’t propose too soon, after you get together; spend some time bonding some more, first, until you feel like you’re ready to make that decision; ready to take that step with her.”

“What if I already feel ready, e-even though we’re not a couple, yet?” She asked, and Gloria couldn’t help, but giggle, whilst Sasha would raise her eyebrows in response, amusing her mother further.

“Well - I’m afraid you’re just gonna have to wait, and see,” she answered, “but - like I said - don’t worry; you’ll get there, in the end. Now - whilst we’re waiting for her to come back, who feels up for coffee, and a movie?”

🜚

Once you finally had returned, and had evidently been drinking, Barbra would appear worried about you; she’d had to catch you, before you could stagger, and fall after she’d opened the front door, for you, and it would prompt her heart to sink, seeing you like this; like you were on the verge of losing control of yourself after what had happened earlier, making her feel guilty, and as if she were the reason why you had gone out drinking again when you believed you had only yourself to blame for everything that had been happening, recently, and hated yourself for being the way that you were, especially when you did feel the same way for her, and had ever since you’d both first met. “Barb-?” You mustered shakily, glancing up at her, and she would falter when she noticed that your eyes were sore; you’d evidently been crying, making her feel worse. “I thought you’d be asleep-”

Barbra would then ease you closer to her, and hug you tightly whilst she buried her face into the crook of your neck, and would begin to cry quietly, unable to hold herself back any longer, and you would falter, a pained expressed on your face; you hated seeing her upset, like she evidently was, and would curse yourself for making her cry again, wondering why she was still bothering with you, and why she’d even approached you in the first place outside of the Gynaecologist’s office. You would hesitantly - once you felt able - return the hug whilst tears threatened to spill from your eyes again, alongside her’s, though you felt as if you didn’t deserve to even touch her, or be this close to her, prompting your heart to begin aching excruciatingly, and even the previous numbness of your drinking session wouldn’t be enough to rid you of the pain.

“I’m so sorry,” she expressed shakily, her voice muffled against your neck, and you would shake your head gravely, before lifting your right hand up to stroke her hair; an attempt to try and provide as much comfort to her as you possibly could, “a-about earlier, I-.. I just-..”

“Don’t apologise,” you cooed, whilst trying not to let your voice tremble, afraid of upsetting her any further than you already had, “it’s not your fault, Barb, it - it was-.. mine, a-and I shouldn’t have hit Jack like that, I know; it was wrong; it’s just-..” You would glance up at her, before affectionately connecting your forehead to your’s whilst a hurt look found it’s way back onto your face. “If he hurts you, Barbie, I-.. I’ll never forgive myself,” you whispered, your voice briefly cracking whilst you did, and a stray tear would even manage to escape, and run slowly down your cheek.

“W-Wait,” she began, before holding you at arm’s length, and you would tense up, appearing nervous whilst her eyes desperately searched your’s, “what do you mean: ‘if he hurts’ me? Y/n, d-did he-? Did he hurt you?”

You would wince, before hastily shaking your head, and forcing yourself away from her, though you longed to remain within her embrace, feeling safer, and more content than you ever had, before, being cocooned within her arms. “N-No, he didn’t,” you claimed, “forget about it-”

“I can’t, n-not now,” she whined, following closely behind you, and she would falter when she noticed - now - that you’d brought back a blue plastic bag with what looked like a bottle within it, “you’re gonna drink, again? Y/n-”

“I need it,” you interjected gently, before setting the bag down on the kitchen table, and hesitantly turning to face her, before you bowed your head, trying hard not to meet her gaze, though you longed to get lost in her stunning icy blue eyes again, “you need to stop worrying about me, b-because there’s nothing wrong, I swear; I’m fine; Jack didn’t hurt me, a-and he probably won’t hurt you, just-.. find someone else, please.” You would then turn back to the bag, and take out the bottle of whiskey you’d bought, but Barbra would manage to take it away, before you could pour yourself some of the liquids within it, though you’d evidently already had quite a bit at the bar, before you’d returned back home to her. You would sigh, before glancing back at her, whilst she set down the bottle behind her, and would quickly wipe away the tears that had managed to escape her eyes, prompting your heart to somehow sink lower, whilst you tried to fight yourself back to stop yourself from comforting her again, feeling as if you didn’t deserve to, anymore. “Barb-”

“Why do you keep pushing me away-?” She questioned, a hurt look on her face; she couldn’t believe the way that you had been acting, recently, ever since Jack had turned up, out of nowhere, or possibly even before that, when you’d - unbeknownst to her - received a message from your mum, saying that she and the others were in the same town as you currently were, worrying you as you were afraid of what they might do to Barbra and the others, to achieve stealing, and returning you back home with them to abuse you some more, like they had been doing before you’d run away, and found Barbra, the moment which had made you feel as if you actually had something to live for - even Bailey hadn’t exactly made you feel that way, before you’d given birth to her, as she’d been the result of Jack raping you, two weeks before you’d escaped from them.

“Why do you care about me-?” You inquired, and Barbra would fall quiet, tensing up a little whilst her heart began to race again, and blood began to rush to her cheeks, prompting her to bow her head a little to try and hide it.

“B-Because-.. for some reason I’m-.. attracted to you,” she answered dejectedly, and you would shake your head gravely, before looking away from her; though it did - for a brief second - prompt your heart to skip a beat again to hear that she felt the same way for you, you couldn’t help, but fear what might happen, if she didn’t give up on you, worried that you might end up hurting her, like Jack had hurt you, and you knew you’d never be able to forgive yourself if you let that happen, and had been made to feel by your family like you didn’t deserve anything, or anyone; that you were too broken to be truly loved; too broken, and pathetic to truly love anyone else, without hurting them, and you couldn’t let yourself hurt Barbra anymore than you had, already, though you both weren’t together, no matter how much you longed to pour your heart out to her whenever you saw her, “and we’re best friends, aren’t we? Of course I care about you - how can’t I? Y/n-”

Because Sasha had insisted that she intervene, wanting to see how you would both react, Gloria would hesitantly enter the room, and look between you both whilst she smiled, as if she were currently unaware of what was going on between you and her. “You guys okay-?” She asked, and you would nod hastily, whilst Barbra scoffed, a pained expression on her face again; she couldn’t believe you were lying again like that.

“Are you kidding me-? We’re not okay!” Barbra contradicted, and you would wince after she held up the bottle of whiskey you’d bought for Gloria to see, and she would frown, realising; you’d been intending to drink some more, when you already looked like you’d had too much, before you’d arrived back home.

“I wasn’t gonna do anything with it,” you murmured, and Barbra would grimace, glancing over at you; she couldn’t believe you right now, but found she couldn’t be angry at you; only worried about you, and about what might happen to you, if you kept on drinking like you currently were, “I swear-”

“Stop lying!” Barbra cried, and you would falter, your heart aching again, whilst she began to break down again, unable to stop herself. “You - You need to stop doing this, before it kills you,” she continued, and you would nod gravely; you knew she was right, but at the same time - you couldn’t imagine why, when you knew you could never be good enough for her, and were determined to try and direct her away from you; to ensure that she ended up finding someone better for her; someone that could actually make her happy, and to treat her better than you believed you ever could, though you longed - more than anything - to be that person for her; to provide her with all the infinite love you held for her, and spoil her to the best of your ability, as you believed, and always would, that you were made for her; made to serve her in every way that you possibly could.

“I - I know,” you answered feebly, your voice faltering whilst you were on the verge of breaking down alongside her, and she would frown, subconsciously stepping closer to you after she’d set the bottle down, and Gloria would instead take it up, and leave the room briefly so she could hide it from you, “I know, Barb, it’s just-..” You then began to feel overwhelmed, and couldn’t take it anymore as you began to cry, lifting your hands up to your face so you could sob softly and shakily into them, prompting Barbra’s heart to sink alongside your’s, and her expression to soften; she hated seeing you like this, and wished she could do more for you. “I’m so sorry,” you expressed, your voice close to a whisper, and barely audible, whilst Barbra would slowly approach you, and then wrap her arms around you, relaxing you instantly as you melted into her embrace, and wouldn’t hesitate to return the hug, subconsciously clinging to her shoulders whilst you cried into the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay,” she cooed gently, whilst stroking your hair with her right hand to try and provide further comfort to you, before she affectionately connected her forehead to your’s, and would relocate her left hand to your right cheek, “it’s hard, I know, t-to stop, right?” You would nod faintly, whilst you revelled in the feeling of being so close to her, whilst you subconsciously began to think about the kiss again, your heart pounding alongside her’s in the best way possible. “But I know you can do it,” she continued, and you would nod again, smiling weakly up at her, “a-and I’m gonna be here for you every step of the way, whilst you try, n-no matter what, I promise, b-because I-..” Barbra would then fall quiet, recalling how you’d reacted to the kiss, prompting her to falter again. “I care about you, Y/n,” she managed, her voice briefly trembling; it was paining her not to pour her heart out to you like she had always been longing to do, ever since she’d first met you, “and I want you to be happy, n-not to be-.. not to be suffering like you are, now-”

“I’m not suffering,” you claimed, not wanting her to think, or worry that maybe you were, “I promise; I’d talk to you about it, if I was - you know that, right? The drinking-.. it’s just-.. for fun, I swear-”

“Fun-?” She interjected, a hurt look on her face, and you would wince again, but you found you couldn’t pry your gaze from her own, lost in her stunning icy blue orbs the way you loved to be; it was a good way to numb the pain within you, and you knew you’d never be able to numb it any other way, without her being with you, as well as because of how you couldn’t help, but find yourself utterly mesmerised by them; her eyes had to be the most beautiful you’d ever seen, and you knew you’d willingly stare into, and admire them for the rest of your life, and beyond it, if you could, just like you knew you’d always love her, no matter what, or who tried to come between you both. “Wouldn’t it stop being fun, when it starts making you like this-?” She questioned, and you would frown; she’d posed a good question, and you weren’t sure exactly how to answer it. “Just-.. promise me you’ll try and stop,” she requested, “b-because - if I lost you, I - I honestly - honestly don’t know what I’d do; I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Y/n; I just can’t - promise me.”

“I’ll try and stop, Barbie, I promise,” you responded, and she would express relief, glad.

“Good,” she replied, before smiling warmly over at you, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to forget how to breathe, for a moment whilst you subconsciously smiled back at her, and your cheeks would begin to heat up a little, but Barbra would try not to get her hopes up too much, noticing you blushing, though she hoped it meant that you did feel the same way that she did, for you, “w-wanna go up-? You look tired, a-and should probably sleep this off, so you feel better in the morning.”

“S-Sure, but-..” You began nervously, hoping that maybe she could stay with you, as you were afraid of having a nightmare again, like the one you’d had the night before about Jack hurting Barbra, and then beating you in front of her whilst she cried, and was being held back by your mother, before he and your father dragged you back to their car, and would drive you away after you’d fallen unconscious, and - before it could go on - wake up distressed, shaking violently, and in tears. “Could you - m-maybe-.. stay with me, t-tonight? I’m just-.. s-scared of being alone, and don’t trust my head right now,” you expressed, evidently embarrassed at yourself, but Barbra would find it cute, and was willing to stay with you, whilst Gloria would stop at the doorway, and smile softly when she heard your request, before secretly giving Barbra a thumbs up, and returning to Sasha to give her an account of what had previously occurred.

“Of course,” she answered, “I’d love to - c’mon; I wanna cuddle up with you - I - I can do that, right? I don’t mind if you don’t want to-”

“I’d like that,” you reassured her, and she would express relief, before smiling softly over at you again, and intertwining perfectly the fingers of her left hand with the fingers of your right one so she could lead you up the stairs, and try to help you get to sleep, this time, but despite her presence - which did relax you more than you thought anything ever could - the nightmare would still find you, and would prove to be worse than it was the previous night, this time.

🜚

You would soon find yourself waking up, and crying whilst you shook violently within Barbra’s embrace; this time you’d witnessed Jack actually killing Barbra after she’d tried to pull him away from you, and tried to fight him to save your life, and it was horrible, and before you could crawl over to her after he’d beaten you, too, you would wake up in a disorientated state, not sure of what was real, and what was not real, anymore. “No-!” You cried, whilst struggling within her hold; you thought Jack, or someone else was trying to hold you back so Jack could hurt, and try and kill Barbra like he had, in the nightmare. “L-Let me go-!” You begged, and Barbra would try and soothe you by cradling you even closer to her, and stroking your hair with her right hand. “Please-! I - I - I love her!” You exclaimed shakily, and Barbra would falter, a pained expression on her face whilst she wondered who you were talking about, and would wince, wondering why she felt a sudden pang of resentment, and envy; she was evidently jealous of who you might be referring to.

She would try and push the overwhelming, and excruciating feeling aside so she could try and stay strong for you, knowing she couldn’t break down - not whilst you were like this. “You’re okay,” she cooed gently, and you would tense up a little, until you felt able to relax upon hearing her voice, “it’s me; I’ve got you, and you’re safe, I promise; nobody could ever hurt you whilst I’m here with you, ever; I won’t ever let anyone hurt you, Y/n.”

You would then hastily turn to face her, surprising her, but she would manage to keep her composure whilst she wrapped her arms around your waist again, and you would cling to her shoulders whilst you affectionately connected your forehead to her’s, and would begin to stammer whilst you tried to warn her of what you believed might happen, still disorientated, and unaware of yourself being truly awake, now. “You - You need to leave, Barb,” you mustered shakily, and she would appear confused, a pained expression on her face whilst she wondered what you’d seen in your nightmare, and wished she could do more to try and help you.

“Why-? What - What did you see?” She questioned gently, as to not scare, or upset you any further than you evidently already had been.

You would shake your head gravely, whilst you buried your face into the crook of her neck, whimpering faintly whilst you did; you were terrified of losing her, and couldn’t imagine your life without her in it, but at the same time couldn’t allow her to get hurt, for you, like you’d seen her do in the nightmare, before you’d woken up - the only feature currently at play that you were unaware of; you’d woken up shortly after that moment, and believed you were still trapped within the nightmare; that she was still in danger of getting hurt by Jack to try and save your life. “I can’t explain right - right now,” you answered, your voice briefly trembling whilst you did, and Barbra would hold you at arm’s length, her eyes silently pleading with your’s; she was desperate for you to return to her; for things to go back to normal; for you to realise that you were awake again, and with her; safe and sound, “but I need you to trust me; you’re just - not safe here, n-not right now.”

“We’re both more than safe here, Y/n, I promise,” she cooed, trying to reassure you, but you found you couldn’t stop doubting, afraid that Jack would somehow find a way in, anyway, to try and take you away from her, and hurt her in the process of doing so; something you couldn’t risk at all happening; you’d never be able to forgive yourself, if you did, and she ended up getting hurt by him, “don’t be scared-”

“How do you know-? He could get in here, I’m sure he could,” you contradicted, desperate for her to find somewhere safer that she could go to, to avoid him, and allow you to get taken, instead; you didn’t care about what he might end up doing to you, just about what he could do to her, if she got in his way to try and protect you from him like you’d seen her do in the nightmare you’d had a few painful moments ago, “please, Barbie, it’s not safe-”

“Wait - what do you mean by ‘he’?” She inquired, and you would falter, before wincing, and hiding your face from her; you’d buried it into her left shoulder subconsciously, whilst she appeared suspicious, wondering who you meant again. “Was it Jack? Was he in the nightmare-?” She pried, but you found you couldn’t answer, or sound out another word, afraid that you might end up breaking down, if you tried, so instead you would sniffle softly, whilst you tried to hide that you were crying, not wanting to upset her after everything that you’d both already been through together recently. Barbra would then grimace, guessing he’d hurt you, before, at some point, and she couldn’t believe that he’d dare do something like that, to you, whilst she blissfully rested her head on top of your’s, and would begin stroking your hair again with her left hand, wishing she could have been there to protect you, and to stop him from hurting you like he seemed to have done, somehow. It also became clearer to her, now, why you’d been previously trying to warn her about him; trying to direct her away from him, but she just couldn’t imagine why he’d hurt you, until she recalled the moment you’d told her about your ex being abusive, and she would falter again, a hurt look on her face - could Jack have been your ex, this whole time, or did he just somehow remind you of him? “I won’t let him hurt you, I promise,” she cooed gently, her voice soothing you instantly, and making you feel warm and fuzzy whilst your heart began to blissfully race alongside her’s, and you would soon find yourself realising that you were awake, now, and were no longer stuck within your nightmare, relieving you whilst you subconsciously clung to her, and would softly smile against her shoulder, “besides - this is where we live, Y/n, and there’s no way he’s gonna get in here, without getting into trouble, himself, and that doesn’t mean he’ll be hurting any of us, either; we can take him down without getting hurt, I’m sure we can, so don’t ever worry about him trying to hurt us, because he never will, I promise.”

“Good,” you managed, your voice close to a whisper, before you hesitantly would glance up at her, and she would smile warmly down at you, her eyes glinting whilst she did, prompting you to forget how to breathe for a moment whilst you admired her, wondering what you’d done to deserve someone as perfect as her, though you still believed she deserved better than you, and hoped that maybe she’d find them, and soon, before you lost control of yourself completely, and would give in to your feelings like you’d been longing to do, ever since you’d first met her, “but I’m still-.. still terrified, Barb.”

She would tilt her head partially, appearing worried about you again whilst her gaze blissfully searched your’s for any signs of discomfort, but she couldn’t seem to detect any, puzzling her a little. “Why-?” She asked, and you couldn’t help, but smile softly up at her, prompting her heart to skip a beat whilst she inched closer to you, her face, and lips now closer to your’s, flustering you whilst you began to stammer again, occasionally glancing down at her lips whilst you thought back to the moment she’d kissed you, longing for it to happen, again.

“B-Because,” you began again shyly, your voice close to a whisper, whilst she grew hopeful again, hoping this might be the moment she’d been waiting for; the moment you admitted you had feelings for her, like she did, and always had, for you, “I’ve never felt this way before, f-for anyone, and it’s scaring the shit out of me - p-pardon my language, I didn’t mean to swear like that, I just-”

Barbra then couldn’t hold herself back any longer as she leaned forward to delicately connect her lips to your’s, and you would instantly melt into the kiss, a dazed expression on your face once it had sadly ended, whilst Barbra appeared elated, her eyes glinting again, and smile breaking your heart all over again; you hated hurting her, and seeing so her so happy to have feelings for someone like yourself when you knew you could never be good enough; knew you could never be what she truly needed, and deserved - it was painful; excruciating even, to the point you found you couldn’t hold it back as you began to cry again, before shaking your head gravely, and hastily looking away from her, prompting her heart to sink, and face to drop a little whilst she wondered what she’d done wrong, and would begin to feel guilty again like she had, the first time you’d both kissed, and you’d told her that you weren’t good enough for her; something she evidently disagreed with, and was even painfully beginning to wonder if you were trying to use as an excuse to defend her, for some reason.

“I should go,” she mustered, her voice briefly trembling whilst she did, and you would falter, before hastily shaking your head whilst she made to get up out of the bed, and you would begin to panic; you didn’t wanna be alone, and especially not to have to be away from her again, as you found you couldn’t trust yourself whenever you were, and were terrified of what might happen if she disappeared from your side.

“No-!” You cried, and Barbra would hesitantly turn to face you, a pained expression on her face; she hated seeing you like this, and was soon finding herself worrying about what might happen to you, if she left you in this state that you currently were in. “S-Stay, Barbie, please,” you begged, “I - I can’t do this without you; you’re the only one who can make me feel safe, a-and-.. and without you I can’t be sure of what I’ll do to myself; I’m terrified, please-”

“Why should I, w-when all you do is make me feel like I’m not good enough for you?” She interjected feebly, though she felt bad for doing so, after she had, and you would falter, before bowing your head a little whilst trying to fight back yet another strained sob; you’d never been intending to make her feel that way, and it hurt you to realise that you had, more painfully than you thought it would, to the point you wished you could try and claw at your heart, and remove it from your chest to crush it, and to try and destroy these feelings that were hurting her. Barbra would then find herself crying quietly alongside you, cursing herself for snapping at you like that, and making you feel worse, but you didn’t blame her, feeling as if you only had yourself to blame for making things worse between you both, ever since you’d first met her, and moved in with her and the others, and also lumbering Bailey on them, too, as you felt as if you could never be a good enough mother to her, and struggled to find the point in trying when you believed it would only be impossible for you to do so successfully, the way that you currently were, and always had been. “I can’t do this right now,” she murmured dejectedly, though she felt bad for how she’d reacted, especially when she noticed how her reaction had affected you, the way it had, “I’m-.. I’m sorry; I-.. I know you never intended to make me feel like that, it’s just-.. don’t worry about it, okay? If you - If you need me, you know where I am, but - m-maybe try and get to sleep, without me, first, and - if it goes well, I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Y/n.”

You would nod gravely, before staring down at your hands which had begun to tremble whilst you were trying not to break down again, and failing. “Goodnight, Barb,” you mustered in response, and she would smile softly over at you, before dragging herself out of the room, though she couldn’t help, but curse herself for doing so; she’d rather stay with you, and hated what it felt like to be away from you, especially whilst you were in the state that you currently were in, and appeared to need her by your side like she longed to be, even if you didn’t, which you did; you’d always need her by your side, not just because you felt as if you were safer with her, but because you felt as if you could only be happier than you’d ever been by her side, than you could be away from her; she was the only person who could make you feel complete; your soulmate, and you couldn’t imagine your life without her in it, often wondering how you’d been living the way you had, before you’d first met her.

Though you knew you’d most likely never get to sleep again that night, without having the same nightmare over and over again, you would curl up, and hug your knees to your chest whilst you cried quietly, your mind filled with only thoughts of Barbra, and how you wished you could pour your heart out to her; tell her how much you loved her, always had, and always will; to apologise for everything you’d done to make her feel the way you had been, recently, without the intention of doing so, at all. Though most of the night had been preoccupied by you crying, wishing, and anxiously thinking, you would eventually end up falling asleep, but your sleep wouldn’t be peaceful; it couldn’t be - not whilst Barbra were no longer by your side, like you longed for her - more than anything else in the world - to be, alongside her whilst she longed to be able to return to you without feeling as if she were giving in to you, unbeknownst to you, but Gloria would soon - with Sasha’s help - come up with a new plan for her to try and execute the next day, during the surprise party they were going to throw for her husband, certain that it would bring you both together, this time, rather than further separate you from one another the way the previous one evidently had.

~-~

Whilst you had been helping Gloria put out the snacks for the party, you would falter, once your gaze had fallen upon Barbra whilst she slowly began to walk down the stairs after she’d gotten dressed, and you couldn’t help, but smile lovingly up at her whilst you found yourself forgetting how to breathe, for a moment, and she would smile warmly back at you, prompting your heart to skip a beat whilst her eyes began to glint a little at the same time. “You look-..” You mustered, your voice briefly trembling whilst you did, and she would lift an eyebrow, before stopping in front of you, and shyly tilting her head partially whilst she tried not to appear hopeful, no matter how much she was; she was hoping that maybe the look on your face, and your reaction to her appearance meant that you felt the same way for her. “S-So-.. So beautiful,” you managed, and Barbra would appear flustered, whilst forcing a smirk, and trying to hide that she was beginning to blush, “like you-..” You would wince, embarrassed at yourself for the way that you were acting, and stammering. “Like you always do,” you added, and Barbra would appear surprised, before subconsciously inching closer to you, flustering you even further whilst blood began to rush to your cheeks, and you would tense up a little, whilst you tried not to glance down at her lips, wishing you could kiss her, like she’d kissed you, before, but you still feared that you weren’t good enough for her; that you’d only make things worse for her, and the thought would prompt your heart to sink, as well as to ache excruciatingly all of a sudden, as if it were breaking again, like it hadn’t already, after everything you’d had to go through, before you’d first met her, and began to feel alive again.

“Well, I-.. er,” she began nervously, noticing Gloria stood in the doorway nodding to prompt her to continue with the plan, and she would hesitate, before glancing back at you, not sure if she should, but at the same time she was afraid of messing up, and possibly losing you as a result of not going through with the plan, so she would reluctantly decide she should stick with it, and see how you would react, hoping against hope that you wouldn’t get upset by what she were about to tell you, through she was afraid of possibly hurting you again, after everything you’d both already been through together, recently, “thought I should make an impression - I invited Jack.”

You would falter, realising, whilst your eyes darkened a little, and your smile would weaken, prompting Barbra’s heart to sink alongside your’s, after a sudden pang of sadness hit her, and she began to feel guilty again, wishing she’d never brought him up, and agreed to go with the plan that Gloria and Sasha had come up with, the day before. “Jack-?” You mused, a pained expression on your face, whilst you stared down at the ground, finding yourself fighting back tears which heavily clouded your vision, and Barbra would try and stop herself from wrapping her arms around you, though she longed to hold you close to her, and to kiss you whilst she tried to provide comfort to you, and cooed sweet nothings to you.

“Yeah, I - I thought maybe it would help, to-.. to clear the air, a bit,” she explained, and you would nod faintly, though it pained you to make the smallest of movements without any visible wounds stopping you from doing so, “I was hoping you guys could - could maybe become friends, or something-?”

“I see,” you murmured dejectedly, and Barbra would frown, feeling even worse; she hated seeing you like this, and was currently cursing herself silently for hurting you again, like she evidently had, “so - what-? Are you - Are you really taking his side, against mine?”

Barbra would falter, before hastily shaking her head, a hurt look on her face. “N-No, Y/n, it’s not like that, I swear, I just-”

“Are you in love with him?” You inquired, your voice close to a whisper, and Barbra would appear shocked, whilst you would begin to feel lost again, as if everything within you was beginning to crumble and collapse in on itself.

“No,” she answered, but you would move away, before she could get any closer to you; you evidently believed she was lying to you, as you couldn’t imagine her ever feeling the same way for you, or being happy with you, even after she’d kissed you twice, now, “Y-Y/n, I-”

“You don’t need to protect me,” you interjected, “please, Barb, just - just tell me the truth; tell me you love him.”

“I hope she does,” a familiar, detestable voice would sound out behind you both, and you would grimace, before glaring over at him; it was Jack - he’d just arrived, and Sasha must have let him in after hearing the door bell go off whilst you and Barbra had been talking, “I mean - we did kiss the last time we saw each other, remember?”

Barbra would falter, a pained expression on her face once she’d remembered, and you would appear hurt again, glancing back at her whilst the tears would be shocked out of your eyes, slowly trailing down your cheeks, prompting her heart to begin aching again painfully alongside your’s. “Y/n-”

“All I wanted was your honesty, Barbie,” you murmured, your voice close to a whisper, before you made to drag yourself out, and Barbra would rush out after you; she couldn’t let you leave again, terrified of the possibility that you might end up hurting yourself, and never coming back again; something she knew would end up breaking her, if she did end up losing you, as she couldn’t imagine her life without you in it.

“Don’t go, please-!” She begged, managing to catch your right arm, and you would falter again, glancing back at her; you couldn’t struggle, afraid of hurting her, if you tried, and you couldn’t let that happen, knowing you’d never be able to forgive yourself, if you did.

“Why would you want me to stay? You have Jack now, Barb-”

“I don’t want Jack,” she interrupted shakily, before shyly inching closer to you, and carefully turning you to face her so she could wrap her arms around you, and affectionately connect her forehead to your’s whilst you returned the hug subconsciously, and would find yourself forgetting how to breathe again whilst you admired her, and would revel in the feeling of being this close to her, “I want you; I love you, and I am not losing you again; I can’t-” A strained sob would then manage to escape her lips, and you would feel worse, upon hearing it; you hated upsetting her, especially when all you’d ever wanted to do was make her happy. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, and you would frown, recalling how he’d said that they had kissed not too long ago, and the thought would prompt you to grimace whilst you stared down at the ground again, and she would wonder why you seemed upset again, appearing worried whilst she did.

“You kissed,” you mused slowly, and Barbra would hesitate, before nodding gravely, and lifting her right hand up to your left cheek whilst she smirked over at you, a mischievous glint forming in her stunning icy blue eyes.

“Wait a second,” she began playfully, and you would appear embarrassed whilst you glanced up at her again, your eyes soon blissfully locking with her’s in the best way possible, allowing you to get lost within her gaze the way you always loved to, making you feel warm and fuzzy, “are you jealous? Y/n, if you wanted me to kiss you again-”

“Even if I did,” you interrupted gravely, and she would fall quiet, whilst appearing nervous, and a little crestfallen, guessing that you were about to turn her down again, “I.. I can’t.. can’t give you what you need, Barbie; I couldn’t make you happy, the way you deserve to be, so.. you’d be disappointed, if we did more than just kiss; became more than what we are, now-”

“You’re wrong,” she contradicted, certain of herself, “Y/n-”

“Please, Barb,” you managed weakly, “don’t-.. don’t make this any harder than it already is - y-you don’t know how much I-.. I want you, too, but-.. you - you don’t understand-”

“I do understand,” she tried to reassure you, “you think you’re not good enough for me, Y/n, but that’s not true, I promise; I love you, and that’s all that matters-”

“That isn’t-.. all that’s wrong about me,” you continued dejectedly, and Barbra would appear worried again, whilst she held you at arm’s length, wondering what it could be that you were about to tell her, whilst her heart began to pound, and tears would threaten to escape her eyes, again; she was evidently terrified, getting a bad feeling about the next approaching, and most likely fatal, possibly life-changing moment, “I have.. alcohol poisoning, Barbie; I could die, if-.. if things get worse; if I keep drinking, something-.. I don’t see myself giving up - the sooner things get worse, the sooner I’m out of your hair; you’ll finally be free of me; finally be able to find someone better than me-”

“What if that’s not what I want to happen-?” She questioned, disappointed that you thought that she wanted you to die; wanted you to disappear from her life, something she’d never wanted, or could ever want to happen. “Why didn’t you tell me, before, Y/n-? Why-?” She pried, her voice briefly trembling whilst you did, and you would frown, not sure, at first, until you remembered; you’d been worried about how she might react, if you told her; worried about upsetting her, like you evidently had done again.

“Because I didn’t want to upset you,” you answered truthfully, and Barbra would realise, a pained expression on her face, before she nodded gravely, and looked away from you; she couldn’t believe this was happening - that she could lose you, after just finding out that you felt the same way, for her, “I’m sorry, Barb, I-.. I really am, I just-”

“Don’t go,” she mustered shakily, and you would falter, a hurt look on your face whilst you looked up at her, and would try not to cry again, “I love you, okay? A-And that’s never gonna change, I promise, n-no matter what happens, I swear, just please stay; I won’t let anything happen between me and Jack, if that’s what you’re worried about, just-.. stay.”

You would hesitate, before nodding gravely, and smiling weakly over at her; you didn’t wanna upset her any further then you already had. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try,” you mused, and Barbra would express relief, glad that you’d decided to stay, and to not go out to the bar again, and put yourself into a poorer, as well as a more life-threatening position, “f-for you, and I guess it wouldn’t hurt - either - to try and sing again, so.. I will.”

Barbra would then appear elated, before she threw her arms around you, and would ease you closer to her whilst you subconsciously returned the hug, clinging to her shoulders. “I’m glad,” she mustered, whilst burying her face into the crook of your neck blissfully, “but - if you ever change your mind-”

“I won’t, don’t worry,” you cooed, and she would express relief, “I should-.. continue helping Gloria with the preparations, if you wanna go and make sure Jack’s okay in there?”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” she answered, not wanting to leave your side, and you would smile faintly over at her, “I’ll help you; he can entertain himself, for now - c’mon, before the others wonder what we’re doing out here.” You would wince, before nodding, and following her into the kitchen to continue helping Gloria with the party preparations before her husband could get home, and catch them doing so; she evidently wanted it to be a complete surprise, for him, and hopefully it would turn out to be a good one, even with Jack’s unwanted presence burdening the group, but only time could tell if it would be, so the waiting game would have to be played until Gloria’s husband finally returned home, and the party had begun.

Throughout the party, you found yourself mingling around the minibar they had within their home, but you would try not to give in to your current desires, no matter how much you longed to, occasionally watching Jack and Barbra dancing together; it was painful, and you wondered why you couldn’t be better for her; why you couldn’t be more - normal, for her, until you remembered that you were the only person to blame for the way that you were; for the fact that you currently had alcohol poisoning, and could be killed by it if you continued on drinking the way that you had been, recently. You then remembered Bailey, and you would feel even worse; you were supposed to be her mother, and you rarely saw her; you may even end up abandoning her, if alcohol poisoning did kill you sooner than you thought it would.

You would falter, after being called by Gloria and Barbra; they evidently wanted you to sing, and you couldn’t imagine why, but you would force a smile, before making your way over to the fireplace, and standing in front of it timidly where the karaoke machine was, and where the microphone was. You would awkwardly enter the song - ‘About You’ by The 1975 - feeling it was a song that provided you comfort, and was something you could resonate to whenever you thought of Barbra, and she would smile warmly over at you upon hearing the song beginning to play, remembering how you’d told her that this song was your favourite. Of course, you had been hoping - as there was a part for a second vocal coming up toward the end of the song - that maybe Barbra might join you, and she wouldn’t hesitate, relieving, as well as elating you whilst you blissfully watched her, and would revel in the warm and fuzzy feeling you were currently experiencing whilst you were soothed completely by her voice, as usual, wondering what you’d done to deserve someone as perfect as she was, and always would be.

Once the song had sadly come to an end, Barbra would throw her arms around you, and you would instantly melt into her embrace, before returning the hug, and burying your face into the crook of her neck. “T-Thank you, Barbie,” you managed, and she would smile softly in response, glad to see that you were happy, “that was-”

“Why don’t you do another one for us-?” Jack requested, and you would subconsciously grimace over at him, wondering why he was asking anything of you, after everything that he’d done to you, before you’d escaped from your family, and been welcomed into Gloria’s after you’d met, and fallen deeply in love with Barbra. “No need to look like that, jeez - it was just a suggestion,” he remarked, and you would shake your head gravely, before looking away from him, and Barbra would try and provide comfort to you by rubbing your back with her right hand, though she still couldn’t shake why you hated him so much, wondering if he really was your ex, and the thought that she’d recently been dancing with him, and had even been kissed by him disgusted her, as well as made her feel guilty again, especially after he’d hurt you, and treated you so badly, before.

“I think you deserve the spotlight, Barb,” you expressed, “I should check on Bailey.”

“Are you sure-?” She asked, surprised, and you would nod hastily, certain of yourself.

“I’m more than sure,” you answered, “your voice is - beautiful, Barbie, l-like you are.” Barbra would appear flustered, for a moment, before smiling warmly over at you, and shyly stepping closer to you, but she would force herself to stop, remembering that you were both being watched by the others most likely quite closely, making both you and her nervous, as well as you worried, when you believed she should be with someone better than you; someone who could make her happy that wasn’t Jack. “I’ll - er.. be upstairs,” you continued dejectedly, whilst Barbra wore a pained expression on her face, wishing things weren’t so complicated, and that you’d give yourself a chance; she was certain that you both had been made for one another, and that she could never love anyone else the way that she had always, and would always love you, “if you need me - have fun.”

“You too,” she returned, before awkwardly turning to the others once you’d dragged yourself away from her, and out of the room, prompting both your and herself to feel empty all of a sudden, once you could no longer see one another, and were no longer side-by-side like you had been, a brief moment ago, “so, karaoke - how about this one?”

You would be surprised, the next morning, to wake up beside Barbra, wondering what had happened as you both seemed to be not wearing the pyjamas you’d usually wear to bed, worrying you as you tried to think back to the previous day, doing your best to remember all that you possibly could, which was barely anything - in fact, you only remembered one thing; you and Barbra had kissed again, last night, and this time it had been you who had made the move, surprisingly enough.

•

“How is she-?” You would falter, upon hearing Barbra’s voice behind you, before turning to face her, and smiling softly over at her whilst you allowed Bailey to play with the fingers of your right hand.

“Surprisingly calm,” you answered, “though she must have just woken up, before I came to check on her.”

“Good,” Barbra replied, “I’m glad she’s okay. Can I - sit with you?”

“Of course you can,” you responded, surprised that she was asking, and appeared nervous, prompting you to begin to worry a little, wondering why she seemed so scared, all of a sudden, and it would strike you to think that maybe Jack had tried to do something to her, prompting your heart to jolt a little, and your blood to run cold - if he’d hurt her whilst you weren’t there, you knew you’d always blame yourself, and never be able to forgive yourself for it; for not being there for her, “Barb, are you-? Are you okay? Did Jack hurt you-?” You questioned, your voice briefly trembling whilst you did, and she would shake her head hastily, appearing shocked by the question whilst you winced, after expressing relief, hoping she wouldn’t find your reaction suspicious.

“Why do you always think he’s gonna hurt me?” She inquired, and you would falter, glancing over at her, and Barbra would frown, tilting her head partially whilst her gaze began to search your’s again; she was worried that Jack really was your ex; that he’d been one of the people who had been spending most of their life abusing you, like your family also had, alongside him. “Y/n-..please tell me he isn’t-”

“It’s nothing,” you claimed, not wanting to upset her any further than you assumed you already had, “I guess I just-.. struggle.. trusting people, after what happened, but-.. I just want you to be happy, Barbie, and if he makes you happy-”

“It wouldn’t mean anything to me, anyway,” she interrupted gently, before carefully hooking her right arm around your waist, and resting her head on your left shoulder whist she smiled warmly up at you, prompting your heart to skip a beat, before it began to race blissfully alongside her’s in the best way possible, “because I could never love him, Y/n, you know that - I could never love anyone the way that I love you, e-even if-..” She would fall quiet, a pained expression on her face, before she glanced down at her hands tearfully. “Even if I - I do - end up losing you, somehow-.. Which I’m sure I won’t; I could never stop loving you,” she expressed, “and I promise we’re - we’re gonna get through this together, Y/n; you won’t be stuck with alcohol poisoning forever, I promise, a-and I’m gonna be with you every step of the way whilst we try and survive it, together, okay?” You found you couldn’t speak, for a moment, shocked, and on the verge of breaking down; you couldn’t believe it; couldn’t believe that someone as perfect as her, compared to a supposed nobody like you, was so willing to stay, and to love you, though you most likely could end up dying, if you continued drinking the way you had been, recently, and were far from good enough for her. “I love you, Snuggles,” she managed, her voice briefly trembling whilst she did, and you couldn’t help, but beam over at her again, and affectionately connect your forehead to her’s, something you were sure you wouldn’t do, if you were completely sober, and were worried about her welfare, being with you like she was, now, “and I always will, I promise, and no matter how much you truly believe you’re not - you’re more than good enough for me, and if I ever had to choose between you, and someone else - it would always be you, because I could only ever have eyes for you, and feel the way that I do, for you; you’re my soulmate, Y/n, and - thinking back to that day we first met, it’s obvious that we always have been, and there’s nothing you can do that will ever change my mind; or how I feel about you, so don’t bother trying.”

“Okay,” you managed, before smirking over at her, whilst your eyes began to glint, and Barbra would grin back at you, glad that you’d finally given in, as well as feeling relieved, and you still couldn’t believe - after you’d accidentally kicked over the now empty bottle of whiskey further under your bed, that she hadn’t noticed it, and realised that you’d been drinking again, as you’d previously felt as if you wouldn’t be able to go on, if you hadn’t drunk anything at all alcoholic to further deal with Max, and the fact that you still couldn’t believe you were meant to be a mother to Bailey, as well as the fact that you had still been finding yourself in pain, earlier, recalling how you had been briefly watching Barbra having to dance with Max whilst you longed to dance with her, yourself; another part of Gloria’s plan which was obviously unbeknownst to you, but it somehow hadn’t begun to numb the pain, until Barbra had found you, instantly making you feel as if you were okay - and not broken in the slightest - again. “I think I can do that,” you cooed, before you slowly leaned forward to delicately connect your lips to her’s, and Barbra would instantly melt into the kiss, whilst she eased you closer to her, and wore a dazed expression on her face once it had sadly finished. “I love you so much, Barb,” you whispered subconsciously, whilst your right hand was resting on her left cheek blissfully, and your other was entangled within her hair in the best way possible, “and I don’t wanna deny it, or fight it back anymore, so guess what? I’m gonna do the exact opposite of that.” You would then carefully return Bailey to her cot, before shyly turning back to Barbra, and smiling lovingly over at her whilst a mischievous glint would begin to form in your eyes. “C-Can I show you something?” You requested, and Barbra would nod hastily, before getting up, and holding both of your hands in her’s.

“Of course,” she answered, “wanna show me in my room? Just in case Bailey goes to sleep, and wakes up crying, y-y’know-..”

“I’d love to,” you replied, and she would smirk over at you, before nodding, and leading you out of the room so you could both go into her’s, and from there - your memory was simply a blank canvas, but you would soon find out that - as she had obviously been sober, Barbra remembered everything that had happened, and you couldn’t help, but go back to hating yourself again for losing control, despite what you recalled actually truthfully telling her, last night.

•

Barbra would soon begin to stir, only to find you sitting up, and staring down at your currently trembling hands whilst tears began to slowly run down your cheeks; you were afraid of what might happen, now; of what you might end up doing to her, if you both got together, and you ended up being taken by alcohol poisoning. You were also terrified of hurting her, somehow, as you’d never been in a good relationship before; the only one you’d ever been in - with Jack - had proven to be traumatic, and full of bad intent; he’d never missed an opportunity to beat you, just like your family hadn’t, either, alongside him, and you were terrified of doing the same, to her, though you could never imagine hurting her like that, and knew you’d never be able to forgive yourself, if you did. There was also the issue of your alcohol addiction; you felt as if you couldn’t stop drinking, and were worried about might happen, if you tried, though you knew ideally that you should, for her, and for Bailey, but before you could go on anxiously considering what might happen between you both in the future, she would slowly wrap her arms around your waist as to not scare you, soothing you instantly whilst you subconsciously leaned back a little against her, allowing her to comfortably rest her head on your right shoulder blissfully.

“Good morning,” she cooed, and you would shyly glance up at her, allowing her stunning icy blue orbs to lock with your’s, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to forget how to breathe, for a moment, until she leaned down to delicately connect her lips to your’s, and you would instantly melt into the kiss, before turning to wrap your arms around her, and affectionately connect your forehead to her’s. Once she felt able, she would giggle breathlessly after the kiss had sadly ended, before lifting her right hand up to your left cheek, prompting you to melt into her touch subconsciously whilst you found yourself getting lost within her gaze again in the best way possible. You would soon giggle alongside her, unable to hold it back as you found her reaction to be cuter than anything you’d ever seen, making you feel warm and fuzzy inside, and you hoped that the feeling would never stop, but it had to, sooner than you hoped it would, when she felt able to speak again. “L-Last night was honestly-.. the best night of my life,” she expressed, and you would falter, a pained expression on your face all of a sudden, worrying her as her smile would slowly drop whilst she wondered why you were upset after the blissful night you’d both had, “hey - are you okay? What’s wrong-? D-Did I do something-? I’m sorry if I did, I-”

“N-No,” you managed, “you didn’t do anything, Barb, I just-.. is this.. really want you want-? Am - I - really what you want?”

“Yes,” she answered, without hesitation, or a flicker of doubt within her eyes, or her voice, prompting you to appear surprised, and your heart to skip a beat again whilst her eyes locked with your’s again, and she shuffled closer to you so her face could be inches from your’s, prompting you to tense up whilst you forgot how to breathe again, and would find your heart beginning to pound alongside her’s, “more than anything, I swear; I love you, Y/n - I always have, and I always will, n-no matter what. D-Do you want me?”

You would appear taken aback by the question; you thought she knew, already; that you had been quite obvious around her, in terms of feeling the way that you did; being deeply in love with her. “You know I do,” you remarked, smirking over at her whilst she beamed back at you, glad, “I love you, Barbie.” You would then timidly lean forward to connect your lips to her’s again, and she would melt into the kiss again, before burying her face into the crook of your neck, and revelling in the feeling of being this close to you, and knowing that you felt the same way that she did, for you. “Just tell me something,” you began again, whilst you stroked her hair with your left hand, and rested your head comfortably on top of her’s.

“Anything,” she replied, before connecting her forehead to your’s again so she could lock eyes with you, finding she felt safe whenever she did, and happier than she’d ever been before, like you did, too, whenever your gaze was lost exploring her own.

You couldn’t help, but smirk again at what you intended to ask her, wondering how she’d react to it. “Did you enjoy yourself, last night?” You inquired, and she would appear flustered, whilst she began to stammer, and her eyes would begin to glint again as a result of her recalling the previous events of the night before.

“I - I might - might have,” she managed vaguely, her voice briefly trembling whilst you began to pout playfully, prompting her to giggle whilst she buried her face into your right shoulder, feeling that she had begun to blush, “I mean - I did; you know I did, Snuggles - like I said earlier, it - it was honestly the best night of my life, and I’m sure there’ll be many more to come.”

It would then be your turn to get flustered, whilst she smirked up at you, and would lift an eyebrow, amused by your reaction whilst you stammered like she had been, a moment ago. “Y-You’re right, Barb,” you corroborated, and she would grow flustered again whilst you managed to surprise her by tickling her, allowing you to playfully pin her back down onto the bed, “there will be, and I can’t wait for them, but - the others, when - when should we-.. when should we tell them, about - about us?”

Barbra would think about it for a moment whilst blood began to rush to her cheeks again, before smiling softly up at you whilst you nervously awaited her answer. “Tomorrow,” she answered, and you would nod faintly, though you appeared nervous; you’d never been in a situation like this before, and had never been so in love with anyone, like you were, with her, anxious for the others to know about you both, and for Jack to know so that he’d leave you both alone - or at least, you hoped against hope that he would, without trying to hurt her, or threatening to steal you back away from her, again, but you couldn’t deny that you doubted the possibility of him not dropping things so easily like that; he’d do something - you weren’t sure what, yet, but you knew he wouldn’t leave quietly. “Just so I can talk to Jack, today,” she explained, “and tell him that I don’t want to see him, again-”

“Wait,” you interjected gently, appearing fearful all of a sudden whilst she tilted her head partially, wondering why you looked so scared, and worried about her; she was far from afraid of Jack, and didn’t care about what he might try and do, as long as he didn’t try and hurt you, again, as she was certain - now - that he had to be your abusive ex, the way that you and him both acted together, and evidently despised one another, “Barbie, you - you can’t tell him in person-”

“I’ll be fine,” she cooed, not wanting you to worry about her, “I promise; he won’t do anything to me. You trust me, don’t you? That I’ll come back?”

“Of course I do,” you reassured her, “I trust you with my life, Barb, w-with everything, just.. please.. p-promise me you’ll be careful; he’s-.. dangerous. I was too scared to tell you, before, but-.. that’s him, Barbie - that‘a Jack, m-my-.. my ex.” She would subconsciously grimace, remembering how you’d told her about the way in which he abused you every day, even after he’d found out that you were pregnant with his child, and she would wonder - again - how she’d be able to face him, without losing control, and hurting him, like he’d hurt you all those times, before.

“I wish you’d told me before, but - I understand, Y/n; I really do,” she replied, and you would nod gravely, whilst you avoided eye contact with her; tears were threatening to spill down your cheeks, and you were afraid of upsetting her by allowing her to see your tearful orbs, “and I promise - swear on my own life, even - that I’ll be careful, and will come back to you in one piece, like I always do; he won’t ever hurt either of us, again - I’ll make sure of that, from now on; I love you, Snuggles, a-and I’ll never let anyone ever hurt you again, n-no matter what.”

You couldn’t hold it back anymore as a strained sob would manage to escape your lips, prompting her heart to sink, and ache a little; she hated seeing you upset, like you evidently were. “You’re too good to me - you know that, right?” You managed shakily, before quickly brushing your stray tears away, and letting your eyes lock blissfully with her’s again.

“Only because I wanna spoil you,” she remarked, smirking up at you whilst you appeared flustered again, soon beginning to blush alongside her, “and because you are too good to me.”

“Because it’s you who deserves to be spoilt, Barbie,” you returned, “not me-”

“That’s not-” You would then lean down to passionately, and yet delicately kiss her before she could protest, and she would instantly melt into the kiss, forgetting what she had been intending to protest about shortly after whilst you both began to - as quietly and carefully as you possibly could - fool around again, without waking up the others, and alerting them as to what you both had been doing together, recently; they didn’t need to know - not yet, anyway, until Barbra felt comfortable enough - and believed that it was finally time to tell them about your and her new status.

🜚

“Why don’t they just kiss, already?” Sasha complained, whilst she and Gloria secretly watched you and Barbra in the kitchen together, talking about why you’d ended up leaving Jack, and your family after you’d discovered that you were pregnant.

“It’s-.. horrible, but - I didn’t wanna have a baby,” you mused, leaning against the counter beside her whilst you both waited for the coffee to cool down, a bit, “a-at the time - t-that doesn’t mean to say that I don’t love having Bailey-”

“Of course not,” Barbra reassured you, before she smiled softly over at you, and would intertwine the fingers of her left hand with the currently trembling fingers of your right one, soothing you instantly whilst you smiled lovingly over at her, prompting her heart to skip a beat, before it began to blissfully race alongside your’s in the best way possible.

“It just.. was hard,” you explained, “especially - especially knowing that she’s his; the guy that literally had an addiction, or something, t-to abusing me, a-and it didn’t help knowing - either - that Bailey-.. Bailey could have been a.. a product of him-.. raping me.”

Barbra would falter, a pained expression on her face; she was shocked; as you’d never told her about him doing that to you, before. “Wait, he-.. he raped you?” She uttered, and you would nod gravely, before staring down at the ground again, and gently squeezing her hand to try and provide comfort to her whilst she silently seethed beside you; she couldn’t believe it, and wished she could have been there for you to stop him from hurting you the ways that he had, before you and her had both first met, and fallen in love with one another.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” you continued, “I’m happy, now, w-with you, and that’s all that matters, I promise.”

“Good - I’m glad you’re happy,” she returned, whilst resting her head comfortably on your left shoulder. She couldn’t help, but smile lovingly over at you again, before wrapping her arms around your waist whilst you took up your coffee, and would smirk over at her, before tilting your head partially whilst a mischievous glint formed in your eyes.

“I can’t believe this, but - I think I picked up your coffee by mistake, pretty lady,” you teased playfully, and she couldn’t help, but giggle, amused, “here.” You would then carefully pass it to her, and she would nod her thanks to you, before clumsily sipping; she still wasn’t exactly used to drinking, prompting you to beam over at her, but you would manage to fight back a giggle, not wanting her to feel embarrassed, though you thought that her attempt had been adorable. “Oh, and one other thing,” you continued, whilst shyly inching closer to her, prompting both your and her heart to race perfectly alongside one another, “call me.”

You would wink, prompting her to burst out laughing again, before she threw her arms around you, and you would instantly return the hug, before delicately connecting your lips to her’s whilst Sasha and Gloria would both appear surprised, as well as elated, hoping that this meant you’d both realised, and accepted your feelings for one another. “Our work here is done, Sasha,” Gloria remarked, grinning, whilst Sasha appeared satisfied, and victorious, nodding hastily in agreement with her mother, “now - you better get dressed; it’s a school day, remember?”

Sasha would grunt, before nodding gravely, though she’d rather stay, and watch you both. “Fine,” she uttered, before dragging herself up the stairs, and into her room to get dressed so Gloria could take her to school. Gloria, herself, would then rush up the stairs to get ready, as she wasn’t quite prepared, yet, herself, for the brief outing before work was scheduled to begin.

“I love you so much,” Barbra cooed, and you would smile warmly over at her again whilst you affectionately connected your forehead to her’s, trying to hide that you were still worried about her possibly getting hurt by Jack, as she still planned to go and tell him that she no longer wished to see him, and that you and her were now finally together, very much in love.

“I love you, too,” you returned, “a-and I always will, Barb, I promise, n-no matter what.” She would then begin to feel warm and fuzzy again alongside you, before kissing you, and playing with your hair using her right hand. “H-Hey, erm-.. c-can you promise me something-?” You requested, and Barbra would nod hastily, surprised that you were even asking as she didn’t want you to feel as if you had to, like that, like you were worried about how she might react, if you asked her.

“Anything,” she answered, and you would express relief, before smiling warmly back at her.

“Promise me you’ll call me, i-if - if anything goes wrong,” you clarified, and Barbra would frown, realising you were still worried about her, prompting your heart to sink a little, as well as to begin aching a little; you hated upsetting her, and you could see that you had, “please, Barbie, I-.. I just.. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, and-..”

“You won’t have to, b-because you’re never gonna lose me, I promise,” she cooed, before lifting her right hand up to your left cheek, prompting you to lean into her touch subconsciously, “I’m always gonna be here, no matter what; Jack can’t do anything to me, and even if he tries, he will never take me away from you - you know that, right?”

“Of course I do,” you answered, “I just wanna make sure-.. I’m scared, Barb..”

“I know,” she reassured you, before delicately connecting her lips to your’s again to further provide comfort to you, and you would instantly appear to be soothed again whilst you smiled shyly up at her, blood beginning to rush to your cheeks again, making her smirk over at you upon noticing that you had begun to blush, prompting you to wince once you’d realised that you had, “but don’t worry; I’ll call you, if anything does happen - which it won’t - I promise. How do you feel, now?”

“Much better,” you claimed, though you were still anxious about what might end up happening, “wanna cheers to us-?”

She would beam elatedly over at you, before nodding, and lifting her mug of coffee opposite your’s. “I’d love to,” she remarked, and you would smile sheepishly, whilst wondering - again, like you did often - what you’d done to deserve someone as perfect as her whilst she found herself experiencing the same thought, alongside you.

“To - To us,” you managed timidly, and Barbra couldn’t help, but smirk over at you, finding your currently shy demeanour to be adorable.

“To us,” she corroborated, before lightly connecting her mug to your’s, and slowly sipping her coffee alongside you whilst you tried to replicate her actions to make her feel better about the way that she was currently drinking, whilst you found yourself anxiously considering - at the same time - every possible result achievable - more intensely once she’d actually left to go and speak to him - but, to your surprise and evident relief as well as general elation to see her again, she would return home to you, walking through the front door unharmed and hugging you tightly, but something still didn’t feel right - Jack couldn’t truly have given up yet, and be finally leaving you both alone now - could he? And it was then that - after you’d returned the hug - you saw a familiar car outside, and would appear bewildered when you noticed your mother stood by it, smiling menacingly, before she waved, and disappeared back into her car so she could drive back to wherever they were all staying together, now, leaving you feeling nothing, but terrified not for your own life, and safety, but for Barbra’s; they were planning something - your family, and it wasn’t good, prompting you to silently vow to find out what it was, as well as to protect Barbra as much as you possibly could, even if doing so meant that you would end up losing your life, to save her’s; you couldn’t let them hurt her, too, so you didn’t, and succeeded - or, at least, you thought you had, until things started going wrong again.

~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it! ❤️

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