#and no this shit won't convince me that I'm bad. I know myself.

[gorkaya-trava]

well what do you think about this shit applejack

[sinnettini]

successfully worried my mum as well despite trying not to. lmao. lmfao even

[kalims]

ㅤdorm leaders being savages

summary. basically some backstabber mf tries to 'steal' him and... this is where the savage part starts

featuring. dorm leaders

content. bad friend, gender neutral reader, brutal rejection 😭

note. a full post after a while :')

malleus

I mean it's not like he would notice anyways, again. I firmly believe human and fae courting traditions are vastly different and c'mon... he doesn't even know what the fuck flirting is do you really think he'd get their intentions. 💀

when they start to slide up an arm in places he's quite bothered about, (cause guy is so whipped that he won't let anyone but him touch you.) he isn't even happy that someone is near his proximity anymore, not scared and whatnot.

just he no likey.

AND HES NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE ROMANTIC HE JUST SHRUGS THEM OFF EVERYTIME. he's just a genuine innocent lil' dude who wants his lover to come and save him from this touchy, weird, human.

no child of man cause that's your name ‼️

while he may not get it, he's got a feeling, sixth sense of sorts and when he sees it he's backing tf up away. he's not gonna entertain the doubts.

also he still doesn't get it in the end lmaoooo, he's avoiding all their advances thinking it's a part of human... culture? that he wasn't made aware of.

if they start putting in the forbidden words in the same sentence as your name you know shits going down, suddenly he's not that confused, oblivious, cute guy that they saw but a much colder shell.

when his eyes darken, and it starts storming they'd had better run, he's been kind enough to stay even with their relentless annoying behavior but that is where he crosses the line fr.

don't even be surprised when they get hit by lightning and end up in the infirmary or something, malleus didn't even say anything to them cause he believes actions speaks louder than words... *sends touchy, weird human to the nurse.* see?

someone insults him: ?

someone insults you: 😠😡🤬👿🌩⚡

just goes: "your friend is very unpleasant, I'd appreciate it if you refrain from spending time with them."

something unsaid; spend all of that time with me duhhh

idia

you know what I'm surprised someone actually likes him tbh 😭 except us because we're all built different and we love disgustang discord mod behavior.

you know what's even more surprising? the fact that idia is actually seen by your friend group. I swear he comes out of his room like once a day and that's just because he's craving something else that isn't in his food stock and he's just gonna rob whose mac n' cheese was in the microwave.

and that's literally in his DORM ONLY.

he's like a vampire and allergic to sunlight, he's more willing to come out in the middle of the night because that's when the least 'normies' are scattered around like flies.

(if that counts for anything at all??)

but hanging out is more fun and if you somehow managed to convince idia to come with you with your friends for some well needed, 'socializing' then you're in luck!

besides that you had to bet one of your items in that open world game you played together... all is good!

im like 99% sure idia is disgusted by any other touch from other people, besides you? cause if you touch him he's just embarrassed... but in terms of the disgusted faction, you've been there before.

he immediately spots their intentions cause he definitely plays otome games and this is one of them cliche scenarios to 'spice up' the plot by invoking jealousy in it.

only difference is its him, you and this... random.

if they weren't already offended by the absolute mortification and disgust on his face, somehow continuing to 'rizz' him up.. oh boy. it's gonna get worse.

he's got the worst fucking 3rd grade insults like... "back away from me you noob, are you supposed to be their friend?" he scoffs, surprising them cause they thought he was gonna be that red flag discord romance experience.

"sorry but im not really sorry. i don't associate myself with lower levels such as yourself, try to come back when you're higher but I doubt they'd accept a fiend back."

LIKE WHO USES NOOB AS AN INSULT?

when you come back he's steering you away, pulling on the hem of your sleeves practically begging to come home with the promise of 'grinding that outrageous drop rate item you've asked his help with.'

something unsaid; doxxing them as soon as I get back

vil

ok this one I get.

who wouldn't want vil... it's not like I've made the entirety of the fandom known about my obsession with him as my favorite character or anything, not at all... jokes aside he's a very prominent candidate, he's hot and rich. you get it?

forget about the other qualities because we all known those two can carry someone in life alone, life in luxury and fame? sign them up ASAP.

besides your boyfriend being one of the superstar actors, models, the dream jobs for a dream man even your friends had a hard time believing you. you should be offended that they even considered that you were clinically.. delusional.

plus you didn't even seem to know about vil before so how are you dating him?!

they found out the hard way and safe to say they're flabbergasted because what even?

of course out of everyone here, vil has the most experience in terms of being approached on a baseless appearance only, he's iffed by how fast people get infatuated when they're barely scratching the surface of him.

well, you somehow dug your way deep with a shovel so you're the only exception he will allow...

at this point he knows what to expect the moment one of your friends gave him a look he's all the well too accustomed to. it's easy to ignore the ones he sees in crowds cause there's always some type of fence blocking them from fully proclaiming their love or something.

problem here is that this person has no obstacles and he can tell they're waiting for an opportunity to strike like a snake. *texts the pomefiore gc to tell them about this SNAKE!*

honey this is a big NO for him, you need to consider your circle of friends if one of them immediately starts folding around like this and wastes what? a longer friendship with you? please, he's known his stylists more and they literally get replaced every single day.

he's giving them the biggest, sassiest side eye ever. putting a palm up before they even get to speak because frankly, he does not want to hear it.

they open their knarly mouth. "i—"

he raises a finger. "no."

a frown. "but i—"

"shush."

he can do this forever.

when you come back he's still giving a bombastic, criminal offensive side eye, mentally thinking on how to ruin this person's life in media of course! his natural domain. just one word and the rest of his army will attack fr.

vil usually doesn't do this but seriously? that was another level of low.

also he's just by your side, you don't even have to say that he's your boyfriend because he's lowkey rubbing it in their face that he is in fact, taken.

"next time you try to see me again, might as well buy one of the tickets to my fan signings because you’re not seeing me again otherwise.. well, not like you can afford it anyways." *fabulous hair flip*

something unsaid; either way I'll kick you out if you try to get in

kalim

most safest person to flirt with, even if you're friends with their lover but also the most impossible to actually try and 'steal.'

the thing about kalim is that he's adorably stupid, not to degrade him in any shape or form but he's so oblivious about everything that you could consider it as one of his redeemable traits to be adorable.

he takes everything you say so seriously to the point where if you joke about wanting to water an entire continent he's just there with his carpet waiting for you cause he's gonna do exactly that.

"you're in luck cause I have a lot of water in me!" pops his non existent guns on his arms. (he is talking about his unique magic..)

it takes a remarkable mind to be like... that but you like him all the well about it, compliment his stupid-ness and he'll just grin, flush a little and laugh loudly as he compliments you back. not an ounce of anger in his tiny body.

red eyes but what a bright heart!

the type of guy that goes. "any friend of yours is a friend of mine!" so when he meets your friend group, casually just throws them a grand ball. they don't know whether to be flattered or.. concerned cause this is pretty weird.

not only was one of your friends awed over the mere value of many things inside the dorm he renovated, apparently his very huge bank full of gold was something to gasp over too.

and that's exactly what they did. (I mean get that bag sis but that bag is already owned by someone else and that's you... so that's not slay of you, random friend.)

here's when his nature proves to be quite relenting, even after many flirting, even using those cringe pickup lines from the internet, he just won't budge! it's getting irritating cause they're sure the people already heard the embarrassing words coming out of their mouth.

also that they were flirting with a non-legally married man. (to you ofc ofc.)

kalim either laughs at them because he thinks they were jokes, and just funny or laughs just because he's kalim.

he didn't really mind the casual touches at first, maybe it was friendly? he does it all the time after all but there was a stinking feeling that it felt weird and that alone was weird cause friendly pats were supposed to feel good.

not with you though cause those feel great!

accidentally shuts them down cause they're feeling like a third wheel when you come back after a bathroom break and it's like a total contrast to how he was treating them.

how do you seriously not notice kalim now unintentionally flirting with you?! are both of you airheads?!

he was literally all over you when you quipped up a "hi, I'm back."

and he was like; "welcome back :DDDD!!!!" if it wasn't already obvious they'd even add floating hearts emojis all over his head.

something unsaid; girl he didn't even notice anything was up...

azul

kinda a 50/50?

I'm not sure if most people really dig the whole 'bad reputation' thing. he's friends with the most terrifying twins in the entire campus, notably scammed a lot of people, can give wishes with an extreme price.

oh yeah he runs monstro lounge too but that just means he won't have time to spend with a lover.

that's their own imagination but azul's actually very sweet and gets some overworked junior to do the work for him, usually jade since floyd just leaves if he's given the job. JUST so he can go fret over which tie to use for your unofficial date.

despite him annoyed and losing sleep 24/7 because of the tweels he still asks them which one to use, jade's opinion is most trustworthy since floyd picks the neon, vibrant ones. (don't question why he even owns it.)

I doubt he actually likes people though, anyone else than you? hard pass. he's a simp through and through but unlike idia who can't mask the mortification and disgust on his face even at the cost of his life, good thing that masks are one of the many things azul is good at.

he slips up sometimes cause he genuinely thinks it's embarrassing that they're doing whatever this is to him, (well more of an attempt?) and to you, who is also their friend and his lover.

slip up as in his eye twitches, he flinches away a little too fast when they touch him, and his smile wobbles.

I mean no one would notice if he uses his magic on one, singular person...

mentally makes a note to remember whoever this was cause they're not stepping foot in octavinelle ever again.

+ an object of fun for the tweels. #gotormentthatlife!!

he's just a polite guy, so he won't just straight up insult them but he does warn them. the only thing holding him back from cooking a whole table is the crowd that would definitely spread the news of him going batshit.

like; "could you please, stop this? I hope you're not as stupid as you make yourself out to be because if you think I'm an idiot to not know what you're doing.. "

meanwhile his mind; "ugh this bitch. [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]."

I mean he's not that intimidating ALONE but when he gets all threatening like that (🥰) he could pass for an assassin fr.

just gets the tweels to deal with them cause he does not have the patience to deal with this backstabbing ho and it's wasting his precious time that should have been spent talking with you.

ugh he did not spend like 30 whole minutes picking out his tie and gloves just for this.

azul when he sees you coming back: 😇

something unsaid; [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted].

leona

oh boy, cover your eyes cause we're stepping onto another level of SAVAGE. you don't call lions that for NOTHING ‼️ beastman or just beast.

has the least filter out of everyone, as in he just doesn't give a single fuck, he's the chillest (agressive) guy on the twst planet so if the thought of wanting to insult some stranger that doesn't have a significance in his life at all pops up in his mind he ain't gonna change it lol.

gives the stinkiest eyes, even his tail and ears pause to synchronize with his thoughts cause if they had googly eyes they'd have a side eye too.

if he's laying down and they try pulling him upwards, tryna latch onto him? *just shoves them cutely.* problem solved.

leona's nice enough to let them off without losing something cause you really do mean something to him if he's holding back for your expense knowing that this is one of your 'friends.'

they don't even deserve to be called that!

like no one interrupts his peaceful nap times except for when he stands up to interrupt it himself just to drag you down with him.

wait so basically anyone but him???

he, really doesn't want to waste energy on this fool and to be honest they're really boring him since you went out to grab something you forgot. (but knowing this person for less than an hour in his life, they probably had something to do with that too.) so you aren't here to give him a reason to stay awake.

them rambling but in leona's eyes they're a blurry figure cause he's really sleepy.

then suddenly he's an iphone promax when he's looking at you 💀

if they already didn't take a hint from his earlier shove, the dirt isn't the only thing he's gonna shove someone into. there's a lake there for a reason other than keeping a home for the fishes y'know. never would know if they eat people too. /j

"would you shut up?"

yeah that's all he says but we all know how sharp it is to hear that from somebody so they immediately shut up. there's absolutely no need for any waste on energy of them, just one look from him and they're SILENT.

hopefully embarrassed too cause wtf was that??

unfortunately he can't fully enjoy his usually relaxing nap cause this random is corrupting the atmosphere even when they're silent, I swear they could shift and leona feels like one step closer to smacking 'it.'

ignored them every single time they tried to call out to him LOUDLY before but when you just silently step back on the field, he already peeks out an eye??? like no words needed.

what love does to a mf... sighs... another cold male lead we've lost to romance because of our mc <4

something unsaid; I was really questioning if keeping myself from strangling someone was worth it. took more effort than doing it literally

riddle

I'd have a crush on him too tbh.

unlike azul who already knew their intentions from the start, polite enough to kindly drop signs that he's not interested. riddle doesn't get it, he's just polite as well but also confused?

like he doesn't know they're tryna flirt, but he does think their actions are strange like c'mon. why are they trying to feel him up? he has no idea except the thought that he doesn't like it at all.

also it feels like he's betraying you so he just straight up pulls their arm away off of him firmly and shakes his head.

"stop this behavior."

he sighs.

surprisingly he's patient but also impatient???

consider this the first and last warning cause he WILL excuse himself if it ever goes on, riddle can wait for you browse through a whole store with him following you around and playfully commenting on your taste but can't wait for their attitude to get better.

he ain't gonna waste any more of his precious minutes on this period.

I don't know how to explain it, he's totally unaware of what they want, which is him ironically. but the reason he's rejecting their advances is because he's so devoted and a simp for you.

not a lot of people have the balls to converse or touch around him carelessly like that so freely so isn't it basic human courtesy to hold off all the physical affection till they're more acquainted?

well, not that riddle's not gonna let their current relationship advance any further from strangers at this point...

he's so loyal to you that it's cute jabskans.

riddle sticks to his principles, and he certainly has his own preferences for the personality of people. one of the traits he despises is when they don't understand his earlier warnings.

of course riddle isn't very forgiving, they're lucky they were even given a chance before cause even he, doesn't spare his dorm members a second chance when they break a rule he's been plenty lenient with.

so if you were given a chance, you better take it cause he's not giving you another.

like how since you did take your chance he's not gonna let you go now 😍.

isn't the type to be rude to people for matters he deems conflict being easily avoidable so he just makes up a believable excuse and walks away loool.

and they're like thinking; didn't he say he was tired and had to sleep since he stayed up planning the unbirthday party... why is he having a tea date with you???

suddenly he didn't look too tired at all compared to when he randomly slumped to look exhausted before??

something unsaid; 🥰🍵 what a successful unbirthday party *forgets about them immediately cause you're both having an unofficial date.*

note. ok so something unsaids are basically that but don't misunderstand, it's something they didn't say.

[myung-heee]

horror game

pairings: bf!wonwoo x f!reader

genre: fluff, smutt

warnings: they played a scary game (rip wonu cause y/n just won't stop stressing the shit out of him), y/n had a nightmare, brushing, pet names (baby, princess..), oral (fem), face sitting, crying, protected (yazz)!!

wc: 2.5k

summary: you convinced your boyfriend to play a horror game, but instead of the game scaring him, your reactions stressed him out. as you both drifted to sleep, you had a nightmare that inadvertently caused him to wake up, well, you know what happened next..

"come on, it's not a bad idea" you pouted, giving wonwoo your best puppy dog eyes ever. he chuckled, looking up from his game. "but i'm in the middle of this one," he replied, a playful grin tugging at his lips.

you persisted, leaning in closer. hugging him through his shoulders, "but the game i want to play is way more fun.." You playfully rested your head on his neck. he flinched a little, gazing over you before he looked back to his sceen.

he raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "really? and what game are we talking about?" he said, still focused on his screen.

you let out a mischievous grin. you stood up straight and walked towards the closet, carried a small stall, and sat beside him. "it's a scary game but its fun! i promise." you crossed your fingers.

 

wonwoo side-eyed you, fingers glued to his keyboard as he burst out a scoff. "a scary game? you sure you won't end up hiding under the blanket?" he raised a brow. you rolled your eyes, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. "of course not, wonwoo. besides, you're the one playing the game, not me," you retorted, your gaze locking with his.

he turned to you, his eyebrows raising in curiosity. "huh? you want me to play a scary game? just me?" there was skepticism in his voice as he asked you. with an eager nod, you confirmed your idea, your smile growing wider. "yes, but im here beside you, so i promise i won't let you feel too scared." you added a touch of faux cheerfulness, your eyes dancing with mischief.

his lips curled into a soft smile. "baby.. i'm more worried about how you'll react than myself."

 

you scoffed.

 

you let out a light laugh, waving away his concern with a casual gesture. "oh, come on. i've watched horror movies before. this can't be that different, right?" he chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "alright baby, if you say so, i'll just finish this one."

as he turned his attention back to his game, you seized the opportunity to push further. "i.. i mean, it's just a game. what's the worst that could happen?" he glanced at you from the corner of his eye. "is that a challenge?"

 

you bit your lip, "maybe."

he scoffed.

you rolled your eyes playfully. "please, i'm tougher than i look." he leaned back, considering your proposal. "alright, fine. let's give it a shot. but don't say i didn't warn you."

as wonwoo switched from his game to the one you suggested, you felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. but things didn't go as planned. you were a bundle of nerves..

shaking his shoulders as you shouted about monsters being close.

he just laughed at you, while you're there beside him, stressed af. he seemed oddly calm, making you even more anxious. when a monster chased his character, you hid your face in his neck and gripped him tightly. suddenly, he flinched, and you let out a squeak before smacking his shoulder and retreating to the safety of the bed.

he laughed at your reaction and his character's death. "guess that didn't go well.." he bit his lip looking at you.

peeking from under the blanket, you glared playfully. "yeah, yeah, say what you want to say." you rolled your eyes. he sat at the edge of the bed, grinning. "scary games aren't your thing."

rolling your eyes, you huffed. "clearly."

he leaned down, giving your forehead a kiss. "don't worry, you did fine being there beside me."

"and stressing the shit out of me," he continued.

you landed a smack on his shoulders, and he laughed. "you literally shook my whole body. i'm even more scared of you being beside me than the actual game," he hugged you.

you rolled your eyes as you felt him rubbing his palm on your back, soothing you in. "is my baby still scared?" he asked. his voice is now different. you shook your head as you clung onto him tighter. he placed another kiss on your forehead before letting you go. "you can sleep now, i'll play a little bit more," he whispered.

"the scary game?" you asked, and he shook his head. "no, i'll continue the game that i left before" you pouted. "okay."

but you just found yourself clung onto him snuggled into the mattress, his arms wrapped around you securely, pulling you in close. he nuzzled your face against his neck, his touch soothing as his fingers traced gentle circles on your back, lulling you into a peaceful sleep.

as you drifted off, a dream stirred discomfort within you, causing you to shift your body.

.

sensing your unease, wonwoo responded by pulling you even closer, his arm finding its way around your waist as he spooned you. he pressed a kiss to your temple, his fingers tenderly combing through your hair, reassuring you.

you kept on shifting onto the bed, uncomfortable. wonwoo didn't notice it since he also dozed off to sleep. his hand was still on your waist as you moved backward and accidentally rubbed your ass through his front, making him flinch a little. he's still asleep, though.

your eyes opened, gasping for air, as you woke up from a scary dream. you moved a little, but you were stopped as you felt something on your back.

what the fuck..

you felt his hardness against your ass.

poor boy got worked up unnoticed. you bit your lip as you tried to turn around, but were welcomed with a groan from wonwoo as you accidentally brushed it against him again.

his grip tightening on your waist, he leaned closer to you. you could feel his heavy breaths on your neck. you tried to move again, but the hand on your waist was stopping you. "stop moving, princess.." it was almost a whisper. his voice is soft.

"wonwoo.."

"fuck.." he hissed. he lost his control.

he held your hips as he leaned your back against the mattress, roughly. you bit your lip and looked at him.. his breaths were deep. "princess, i told you to stop moving.. how many times should i have to tell you?" you gulped as he landed his arm on both sides of the mattress, locking you in. there was a hint in his face that he's holding on.

you both made love a couple of times before. just 4 or 5? and those sexes are intimate, and the last time he touched you was a month ago. he doesn't want to hurt you; he wants you to feel pleased and heavenly. he could never be rough on his princess.

but this case is different; you've been so stubborn lately. a little punishment wouldn't be a bad idea, right?

your cheeks are burning up at the idea of wonwoo inside you again.

he bit your neck, sucking it. you tried to run your fingers through your hair, but he held your hand in place. not allowing you to move, he hissed as his erection brushed against your thighs.

you clenched around nothing, letting out soft moans as he continued to leave marks on your neck. you could feel the wetness between your thighs.

"woo.." you whispered.

he stopped and looked up at you. "im sorry."

he was about to stand up, but you held onto his arm, shaking your head. "no.. i- i mean, i don't want you to stop" your grip was tight, making him sit on the edge of the bed.

you sat in his lap as you kissed his neck, careful not to leave a mark. he

gripped your waist as your lips collided again, tasting every corner. "can you sit on me?" you stared at him blankly; you didn't register what he just said. you tilt your head, brows furrowed.

he bit his lip as he scoffed, and he lifted his hand to brush the hair out of your face. "my baby is so beautiful.." he looked at your face and said, "you are so beautiful that you need to be worshipped."

he pulled you up, and you took that as a sign to take off your pajamas. you stood up and took them off. you're about to take off your pants, but he held your wrist, kissed you as he laid his back on the bed, and gripped your waist, pulling you onto his face. you resisted at first, not knowing what to do or what his idea was.

"sit on my face." wonwoo said sharply.

you gulped. he wants you to do what?

you slowly crouched onto his face, and he lifted your leg slightly to pull your panties down. he held your thighs as you leveled your between thighs to his face. you slowly lowered your legs as you tried to sit on his face.

before you could even, he held you in place. his grip has tightened.

he lost his patience with you. "when i told you to sit, sit. i don't care if you're worried; just sit. sit on my face." he sharply said.

you bit your lips as he forced you to sit on his face.

you gasped as you felt his tongue on your entrance. "o- oh my god!" you immediately held on to the headboard for support.

you closed your eyes as you felt his tongue lick. you could literally hear the wetness as he continued to fuck his tongue on your core. your body is burning up. you tried to shuffle your moans, but you really couldn't. "a-ah.. wonwoo," you panted as you felt your legs shaking.

you looked down to see his face; his eyes were looking at your reaction. when your gaze met, he immediately fasten his pace at your entrance, making you cry.

you held a handful of his hair when you felt you were already near; before you could even know it, he knew it already. he keeps on lapping your cunt and sucking your clitoral. his hand on your thigh as you began grinding your hips on his face, basically fucking yourself into him more.

your eyes closed as you felt your orgasm hit you. you tried to close your legs, but he held them in place.

as your orgasm washed over you, you immediately removed yourself from him and checked if he was okay—if you didn't strangle him, choke him, or anything else.

he just licked his lips and looked at you.

before you could even ask, he just flashed a smile at you. "you did well, baby," he said, kissing your neck and refusing to meet your lips, he laid your back against the mattress. he took a pack of condom from the drawer before putting it in his mouth and ripping the package.

he lowered his pajama to knee level before he placed the condom on his erection. he slowly leveled himself the same as you.

before he could even get inside you, he pushed a finger to check your wetness. he thrusted his finger for a bit before pulling it out. you hissed as he pushed his shaft inside you.

pain. you bit your lip hard as you felt pain brushing all over your body. pain—thats all you felt. regardless of the number of times you've had sex with this man, he always makes it feel new. he looked at you with a concerned face, licking his lip before giving you a kiss.

"a-are you? i can stop if—"

"no, please.. continue—fuck." you held his waist to pull him closer. he hissed as he moved inside you again.

"you're still... so fucking tight," he whispered as he began to gently thrust into you. "so good for me," he said, kissing your ear. he found his pace—not too fast, not too rough. but he made sure to hit all the spots since he's still worried and concerned about hurting you. he could never hurt his princess.

as the pain all brushed away, he got the hint and started thrusting so fast and deep inside you. you moaned his name.

"a-ah, wo.. wonwoo!" your brows furrowed, mouth open. closing your eyes. "ah," he moaned at the base of your neck. "fuck."

he kneeled in front of you and held your waist in place before pushing himself again inside you. he looked up and closed his eyes while thrusting at you. you moved your hips with him. you felt more pleasure from that angle.

you moaned his name when you felt another release. his thrusts started to get sloppy. "fuck—fuck! angel.. im cumming," he made one deep thrust and looked up again, panting heavily. you could see the veins in his hands. his chest was heaving.

he pulled out and stood up to go to the bathroom. you were left in bed, feeling so tired. wonwoo went back, holding a box of tissues and wipes. he was now wearing his pajamas. you flinched when he started wiping you with wipes.

you narrowed your eyes at him, and he responded with a cute pout, saying, "im sorry." your body still felt a bit sore, and you were sensitive to what happened earlier. "need anything? food, water, or a bath?" he asked, planting a sweet kiss on your forehead.

you shook your head, a soft smile gracing your lips. "just a hug," you murmured. he chuckled affectionately before leaning down to cuddle you, wrapping you in his arms. it felt like a cozy cocoon of love and safety, his embrace melting away any discomfort you felt.

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina. Happy New Year ! ( hope I won't offend anyone with my message and my poor english).

I was here during BG and I was firmily convinced of Larry and that Louls was not the father. Like many people, I'm back now, after the news about Llam - and I still have very strong falth in Larry (especially after studying the recepts of recent years). What I want to say as a BG witness in real time: It was complete nonsense, full of contradictions and idiocy, fakes and lies. And I (like many people here) had only one thing beating In my head: Louis would never let his child go through this. But now, after years ... the biggest shit Is that Louis would never allow himself to use the kid the way F is being used, to make him a target on social media, to make a movie, to bring him to family, whom he protects, and I really think they are kind of simillar.

That's the fucking shit. It's just killing my mind.

I know, I believe that Louis is a wonderful person who could make mistakes, but he is a very, very good person. And all of this shit together just doesn't work in my head.

Neither of the two theories - Louls Is the father, Louls is not the father - just doesn't work for me. Although there are only two options: he's dad or he isn't dad (LOL) But both options are pointless for me.

So now I'm taking a step back from BG, I think (an you said) that Louls' fatherhood and Larry is olny Indirectly related to each other. I believe that Louis and Harry are finding ways for each other, that they are still strong. And everything else... well. I don't know the truth and just hope we will find out one day.

And YES, I think Louls - is one af the best people in the world with heart of gold. I'm not going to lie, it seems to me that some things need to change, and I hope it happens to both Louis and Harry (and already changing right now).

I think, darling, the very sad part of all of this is we just have to admit that Louis has made some sort of peace with using this child for whatever purpose he needs him for.

Whether it’s to avoid getting into legal trouble, to stop people investigating, to raise his profile… I truly have no idea. But it’s very clear something changed a few years ago.

I don’t think Louis is a bad person. But he and his family are using this child just as much as the Clarks are (more, if you consider that he has a much bigger audience).

As a parent, myself, I don’t understand any of it. Why do they have to drag the actual child into it? Post a photo now and then. Talk about him if you want. But don’t put the child into your documentary and don’t parade him around on your social media. We’ve never seen Bear. We’ve never seen Khai. It’s not necessary.

I’m so revolted by the whole thing.

[taeyongdoyoung]

blessed-cur(s)ed

summary: your bestie is obsessed with the idea of your blood but there's a chance it might kill him so he dares you to try it on the most popular guy in your school for supernatural beings pairing: vampire!heeseung x powerless witch!reader side couple: future vampire!sunoo x (idk what!)sunghoon implied at the end 👀 genre: fantasy, humour, romance, lowkey insta-love but actually classmates to lovers? warnings: flirty bestie!sunoo (yes, that's a warning in itself), nerdy AND popular guy!heeseung (canon event, methinks), mentions of blood, talks of death, experiments, book of cur(s)es, the bet trope with a twist, attempted murder (but not really), kissing, biting, kneeling, swearing, song references author's note: happy halloween, everyone! 🧛 i wanted to write something spooky-themed for the occasion and what better way than vampire enha to celebrate ❤️ i accidentally deleted my fic like a 🤡 so im reposting lol

word count: 2.8k

"I want to drink your blood sooo bad," Sunoo, your vampire bestie, keeps telling you.

Now, you may find that a bit strange. How is he a vampire and why are you so chill about it? Well, the thing is, you've been attending a school for supernatural beings for the past couple of years.

You come from a family of witches, but your powers haven't manifested yet. There is completely nothing special about you.

Well, except for one thing. Your blood, apparently. Your witchy ancestors loved experimenting with their own blood and according to some old book containing curses and other supernatural information, they turned it into a poison for vampires.

Which can be problematic, considering your bestie's obsession with how good you smell.

"Sunoo, shut up, I keep telling you that my blood and that of my entire family can literally kill you!" you repeat for what feels like the hundredth time only this month.

"Pfft, don't tell me you still believe that stupid old book? Your ancestors probably lied 'cause they were afraid vampires would bleed them dry. I mean, judging by your amazing smell, your great-grandparents' scent was probably just as tempting to vampires," Sunoo argues passionately.

"You can't risk it, Sunoo! I don't wanna lose my best friend just because you can't control your urges," you sigh loudly.

"Oh I can control myself alright, I've been living on deer and rabbits for as long as I remember. Just one tiny taste, honeypie, pleaseee, I swear, you won't even feel it," Sunoo continues the incessant begging. "My fangs aren't that sharp."

"Sunoo, no! I'm not even worried about myself, I trust your dorky ass, but you can literally die," you constantly remind him.

"Can being the key word!" Sunoo, ever the optimist says. "But what if I don't? What if your ancestors were full of shit?"

"No, die is the key word!" you fight back. "I can't lose my best friend. No means no."

"Ughhh," Sunoo complains even more. "What if we test it on someone?"

"What?!" you hiss-whisper.

"Some other vampire. What if we convince them to drink your blood and see if they die," Sunoo suggests boldly.

"That's attempted murder!" you look around to make sure none of your classmates heard you. Maybe it's a good thing most of them are so preoccupied with their own looks that they pay no attention to you two...

"It's not if they survive!" Sunoo keeps looking from the bright side.

"You're crazy," you shake your head. But the idea does sound fun...Wait, no, you're not even considering it!

"What about him?" Sunoo murmurs in your ear, just as someone enters the classroom.

It's Heeseung. Only the most popular guy in your school. The most liked, the most talented in all subjects, the most unattainable.

There's no way you could ever pull him. There's no way you could even convince him to drink your blood.

"Only vampires from my family know about the book of curses your family possesses," Sunoo nudges you gently. "You just have to get him alone and I'm sure he'll bite. Both literally and metaphorically."

You shake your head in disagreement.

"He won't. He's wayyy out of my league."

"That's bullshit and you know it," Sunoo rolls his eyes. "You're very pretty and you smell incredible! I bet you taste so sweet-"

"Dude, your obsession with my smell and potential taste is deeply concerning," you point out.

"Talk to him. I bet he'll be interested."

"What's in it for me? I don't wanna kill the guy..."

"You won't, I'm pretty sure. But just in case, I'll...say I killed him. If he happens to...you know. Not that vampires are alive in the first place, but whatever."

"That's the bare minimum, considering it's your idea,"

"Ugh, fine. I'll do your assignments till the end of the year," Sunoo promises. Knowing he's among the top students, constantly battling with Heeseung for the first place, this sounds like a very tempting offer. And considering this is your last year of high school...

"Deal," you shake his hand and get up from your chair. There are still a couple of minutes till class starts. So, you do the one thing you never thought you'd be able to do.

You approach THE Lee Heeseung.

"Um, hi," you greet him.

"You talking to me?" Heeseung looks up from his phone in curiosity.

"Yeah. Sorry, am I bothering you, Heeseung?"

"No, you're good," Heeseung chuckles and God, that sound is so smooth. "I just didn't think you knew my name."

"Are you kidding me? You're like the most famous guy in our entire school."

"I've been told. Is that why we've never talked for...um, let me think, the past four years?"

"Maybe so," you laugh nervously. "Sorry. You're kinda intimidating, you know that?"

"Me?" Heeseung repeats cutely, as if he's never heard a more ridiculous claim. "No way. So, did you want to ask me something?"

"Erm, yes, actually. Do you wanna hang out sometime? Like...do homework or stuff?"

"Sure, that sounds nice. Your place or mine?" he immediately agrees which is a huge shock to you.

Your place is out of the question. Your witchy parents would be furious if they found out you're trying to get a vampire to drink your blood. And his place sounds just as bad. If the poor guy drops dead in his own home with you being there, his vampire parents would be unhappy, to say the least.

"How about the forest?" you blurt out without thinking.

"The forest? That's a strange place for doing homework, no?"

"It's, um, quieter than the library," you respond dumbly.

"Forest it is," Heeseung complies to your complete amazement. "See you after class?"

"Yes, that'd be awesome," you mumble and hurry back to your seat as the teacher enters the classroom.

"How did it go?" Sunoo asks you quietly.

"He agreed to go out with me," you reply, still in shock.

"See? I told you he'd bite," Sunoo says with a wink.

But instead of being happy, you're dreading it. Because Heeseung seems like a really nice guy. And you're planning to use him as a guinea pig! And for what? To appease Sunoo's silly idea and get him to do your assignments for a year?

Class ends sooner than you'd like and you meet up with Heeseung in the forest near the school.

Little does your inexperienced ass know that your other classmates use the forest as a hook-up place! So, when Heeseung has no intention of doing any homework with you and kisses you without warning, you find yourself in an even more unexpected predicament. You're kissing him back, because duh, this is THE Lee Heeseung. When a chance like that appears right in front of you, you take it and don't let go. He smells and tastes so good and you finally get Sunoo's obsession with you. Heeseung wraps his fingers in your hair, deepening the kiss. Damn, you never expected he'd be into you! You're enjoying this unbelievable moment to the fullest when suddenly, he breaks the kiss and asks:

"Can I bite you? Just once, I promise. You just smell sooo freaking nice," Heeseung begs as if in a daze.

Fuck. If Sunoo was here, he'd tell you to agree rightaway. But your moral compass happens to be stronger than your loyalty to Sunoo's weird idea.

"I'm sorry, Heeseung, but no."

"I swear, I won't hurt you," he keeps pleading. Damnit, he's turning into Sunoo 2.0.

"It's not that. I feel terrible now, but I haven't been entirely honest with you. There is this old book of curses that my family possesses. And in it, it says my ancestors did some experiments with their blood. Apparently, theirs and my blood can be poisonous to vampires. If you bite me...you can literally die," you confess in a hurry, before you can change your mind. Heeseung deserves to know the truth.

"So...you approached me to actually do homework?" Heeseung blinks, still confused.

"No, I approached you because my dumbass best friend wanted me to use you as a test. To see if my blood is actually like sweet venom to vampires so he can get a taste of me next," you tell him everything like a fool.

"Oh," Heeseung appears so crest-fallen your heart is genuinely breaking for him.

You drop to your knees guiltily.

"I'm so sorry. Feel free to kill me."

"Not if you kill me first," Heeseung smirks coldly and attacks your neck with his fangs.

Fuck, no! You try to push him away but he's too strong! What is wrong with him? You literally just told him he might die if he drinks your blood. Why is he doing this? Is he suicidal or something?! You keep attempting to get him off of you but it's no use. As your blood is entering his system, you begin to feel so weak and dizzy. Oh, well. You kinda deserve it.

Just as your eyes are about to close and you are on the verge of losing consciousness, Heeseung's teeth leave your skin. He holds you in his arms so that you don't fall.

"Sorry, did I go too hard on you?" he asks sweetly, ever the gentleman.

"Are you crazy? What part of you can literally die did you not understand?"

"I apologize. You just smell and apparently, taste, so fucking sweet, I couldn't possibly resist. I won't do it again, I swear."

"That's right, you won't. Cause you will be dead!" you repeat, feeling completely exasperated.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm already dead," he jokes. "But seriously, my reading shows there is a huge chance old books like that are not entirely reliable. I probably should have told you that sooner..."

"Yeah, you should have!" you try to be angry but you also feel so worried for him. Even though you don't know him that well, you've already gotten attached.

"I'm really sorry," Heeseung repeats.

"Why are you apologizing? What if this actually kills you?"

"Oh, I know you'll be the death of me."

So, you wait. Nothing immediately happens, which would be reassuring, if it wasn't for Heeseung's desire to keep kissing you, as if it's the most normal thing in the world to do. Boys...

A while later, you both go to your own respective homes. The next day, you arrive at the school, informing Sunoo of what recently transpired. He's really excited that Heeseung is still alive and wants to drink from you as soon as possible. But you tell him to wait a little longer.

When the first class starts and Heeseung isn't there, you think nothing of it. Maybe he overslept. But when the second class starts and Heeseung still hasn't showed up, you begin to worry. He's the best student, he never misses class, he's so diligent and hard-working.

Fuck. You killed him. That's why he's not coming to school. You immediately rush out of the classroom, ignoring your teacher's harsh reprimands. You'll deal with that later.

That is when it hits you. You don't even know where Heeseung lives. And what would you do even if you did? Show up at his place, asking his parents: "Um, sorry, but is your son still alive? You know, regardless of being a vampire?"

That would be even crazier than what happened yesterday. You run into the forest to escape your growing panic. You run and you run until you no longer remember which way the school is.

And that is when the miracle happens. You spot him! Sitting next to a tree.

"Heeseung! You're alive!" you scream in relief and rush to hug him.

"Of course I'm alive, silly," Heeseung chuckles, hugging you back.

"Why didn't you come to class?" you explain your worries to him.

"I was feeling unbelievably peckish. Thought I'd hunt for some wild animals, but nothing helped. I'm still hungry as hell."

"That's strange," you reply. "Do you think it could be because of my blood? Do you feel any different?"

"I don't know," Heeseung shrugs. "I'm just so fucking hungry. Can I bite you again, please?"

"No, Heeseung, we still don't know whether or not it's lethal. It just might take more time. If you drink more of my blood, something bad could happen."

"You're right, I know," Heeseung's head drops in disappointment. "Forget I even asked."

"I have a turkey sandwich in my bag?" you offer. "I know vampires don't eat food like that but still..."

"You know what? That sounds really delicious, can I please try it?"

"Um, sure," you don't know why he's asking so politely since you literally just suggested it. As you unwrap and hand him the sandwich, you are amazed by how quickly he devours it.

"Damn, this was the best meal I've ever had!" Heeseung exclaims in surprise.

"Huh," you blink at him and touch his forehead on a whim. Why is it so warm? He was freakishly cold yesterday. "Are you feeling sick?"

"No, I feel much better after this sandwich, why?"

"Erm, not to concern you or anything but your skin is like super warm."

"That's...not normal for a vampire," Heeseung reasons.

"Exactly," you respond and touch his wrist with your fingers. Squeezing his veins lightly you feel something. Something that shouldn't exist. Something that you previously thought impossible. "Um, Heeseung...you have a pulse."

"What?!" he checks for himself, confirming what you just said as true. "Do you happen to know where I can read that book of your ancestors?"

"I carried it in my bag today, just in case," you praise your past self for being so clever and pull out the old book, handing it to Heeseung.

As he reads the section that contains information about your ancestors' blood.

Heeseung nods in contemplation as he finds the thing he's looking for.

"Just as I thought. This book isn't the original text your ancestors wrote. It's a translation. Or maybe I should say a mistranslation. Look, here," he points to a particular place with his finger. "It says forever cursed shall be the vampire that our blood drinks but the grammar is all wonky. Not easy to spot. It should be forever cured. I think your blood has the ability to turn vampires into humans."

"So...you're a human now?" you blink in surprise.

"I guess so."

"Fuck, Heeseung, I'm so sorry!" you cry out apologetically.

"Are you kidding? I've wanted to turn human my whole life!"

"What, why? Why give up immortality?"

"Because I just want to a normal, boring life, marry the girl of my dreams, settle down, have kids. Is that too much to ask for?"

"No, I get it," you sigh wistfully. "My parents are so disappointed in me and the fact that my witchy powers haven't manifested yet. But what if that's all I have? Just a normal girl whose blood turns vampires into humans..."

"There's nothing normal about you," Heeseung chuckles but the way he says it makes it sound like a compliment. "Hey, does that offer for doing homework in the forest still stand?"

"Sounds great to-" you don't even get to finish your sentence because Heeseung is kissing you again. Damn, you forgot that the word forest was code for making out.

Oh, well, there are worse things you could do...

Bonus:

"So, can I drink your blood now?" Sunoo asks.

"Bro, did you not hear what I just said? I turned the most popular vampire in our school for supernatural beings into a human! He can no longer even go to our school. His parents must be furious with me. I'm lucky they haven't killed me. Hell, I'm lucky they're letting me date him. I really don't get it."

"You know that doesn't sound too bad to me, right?" Sunoo keeps begging.

"I may have survived Heeseung's parents but what makes you think I'll survive yours?"

"You're my best friend. They'll get over it," Sunoo shrugs carelessly.

"You're literally addicted to the idea of my blood. Get help!"

"You wanna kiss me so bad it make you look stupid," Sunoo sticks his tongue out childishly.

"You wish," you roll your eyes.

"Do you think Heeseung will be mad at me if I bite you? Oh, right, he's human now, so he can't hurt me," Sunoo leans in.

"Sunoo, no!" you try to push him away.

"You'll let me one day, I know it," Sunoo grins widely, showing you his sharp fangs.

They might scare another witch, but not you. You know how powerful your blood is and while Heeseung was miraculously happy to turn into a human, 99% of the vampire population would rather die than become humans. So, you believe you're safe with Sunoo. For now. If you can only find someone whose scent is more tempting to him than yours...

"Good morning, everyone! Today we have a new student, his name is Sunghoon," the teacher announces all of a sudden. "Let's welcome him!"

"Hi, Sunghoon!" the class says in unison.

"Damnit, he smells incredible," Sunoo whispers in your ear.

Ah shit, here we go again...

The End

[purplecoffee13]

The Fake Girlfriend - pt. 2*

Summary: “The official fake dating can commence, and so can the exploration of a whole bunch of new… feelings.”

Wc: 4.9k

Tropes: semi-enemies to lovers (she hates him)

Warnings: jealousy, possessiveness, smut (f!receiving), a sudden deep analysis of wuthering heights followed by smut

*2 weeks later*

I'm going to move to Italy, seriously.

Ever since Harry and I arrived at the airport I haven't been able to stop myself from gawking at everything I've seen. That includes Harry's relatives, proving that his entire family consists of solely good genes.

The flight was excruciatingly long and a bit uncomfortable. Harry taught me as much as he could about his family, and we both complained about the hernia we were getting from our bad seats. Nevertheless, we both attempted to sleep, and I accidentally dozed off while leaning on his shoulder.

One of Harry's cousins, Matthew, picked us up at the airport. He was particularly fascinated with my existence, almost as much as I was with his accent. I love English accents, I could listen to them for hours on end.

Matthew led us to our room in the Villa and gave Harry a pat on the back before leaving us alone to unpack and get ready to meet the family.

"He's nice." I note, throwing my backpack on the Queen sized bed we have in this room.

"He's a little shit." Harry chuckles, earning a furrowed brow from me. He waves it off, literally, and sits himself on the bed. "You'll see."

We stay fairly quiet for the rest of the time, unpacking our stuff and freshening up. Well, mainly me, because Harry doesn't have to do half the things I do to look good. It's so much easier being a man.

I shoo Harry out of our bedroom and put on a long, brown dress with a wide slit and some floral print on it. As soon as I've changed, I open the door to the bathroom so he knows it's okay for him to walk back in. When he does walk back in, we both catch each other off guard.

While he is analyzing the dress that is currently clinging to my body, I'm gawking at his shirtless chest. My cheeks start to heat up when I realize that I'm staring, but luckily Harry doesn't notice because he's too busy staring at me. Then, he clears his throat.

"Nice dress."

"Thank you." I throw him a small smile.

It doesn't take long for Harry to get dressed and soon enough we are walking from our room to the villa, where the welcome dinner will be held, or at least that's what it said on the card that Harry handed to me on the plane.

We sit down at our assigned seats at one of many round tables. I don't miss the name tags of Harry's parents, and I'm glad to find that Matthew will also be sitting at our table. It will make things a bit less nerve racking.

Harry places his hand on the small of my back as he guides me to his mother. He looks just like her, and by the warm smile on her face, I realize that it probably won't be as bad as I might think it would.

"Mum, this is Y/N. The girl I've told you about. She's my girlfriend." The words leave his mouth in a way that makes me think someone is holding a gun to his head, and I can tell that his mother thinks the same thing.

"I'm Sheila." She introduces herself, nonetheless. I can tell that she is skeptical of me, despite the warm smile on her face. I know it's a genuine one, but I know that she knows her son, and she'll see something is up if he doesn't get his act together.

"This is Tom." She turns to a tall man that I immediately recognize as Harry's father. He doesn't have a lot of facial features from his dad, except for the nose, that is exactly the same. But the way he carries himself, the way he extends his hand for me to shake, those are the aspects that make Harry identical to his father.

We chat with his parents for a little, telling our wonderfully fake story of how we met. Tom keeps nodding but doesn't seem fully convinced. Not because he doesn't believe it, but probably because of the girl he'd rather have his daughter be with; the reason I'm here in the first place. Sheila remains skeptical, but that is just because she can see right through Harry.

So when his parents leave to get some food from the buffet, I'm quick to swat his arm.

"Ow!" He hisses at me.

"You're a terrible actor, do you know that? Your mom is totally on to us!" I say in a soft tone, but it doesn't discredit my disapproval.

"I'm sorry okay! It's hard to lie to her." He responds, and the confession makes my heart melt a little.

I let him off with a roll of the eyes and we join the queue for the buffet. During dinner, Matthew promotes himself to main entertainer of our table by telling countless of stories about him and Harry and all of their antics from back in the days. Harry seems slightly embarrassed sometimes, but he finds it funny nonetheless.

In an attempt to make me and Harry seem like more of a real couple, I take it upon myself to touch him during dinner. Just casual touching. Some hand-holding—above the table so everyone can see of course—and the occasional leg rub. It's only halfway through dinner that Harry finally initiates some touches to, and I have to bite my inner lip at the way his hand feels wrapped around my thigh.

After dinner, a few tables are removed in order to create a dance floor. People are quick to get on it, but Harry refuses to come along with me. Matthew doesn't let the opportunity to bust a move pass, so I leave my purse with Harry and get on the dance floor with him.

We have a big laugh, Matthew and I. He spins me around an absurd amount of times, dramatically dances the tango with me while a pop song is playing, and throws out some moves that I haven't seen since I played Just Dance when I was eight years old.

After a while I decide to retire from the dance floor and get a drink. Matthew offers to accompany me, and for a second I contemplate whether I should say yes. Then I figure, he is a part of Harry's family and I need as many of them on my side for this whole act to be believable, plus I'll be able to get Harry a drink.

We walk over to the bar and order our drinks, Matthew is quick to spark up a conversation as we wait for our beverages.

"How long have you been together again?" He asks, looking over at me with a smirk.

"A month, officially." I reply, and he raised his brows in surprise.

"Only a month, huh?"

"Like I said, officially." I tilt my head, a mischievous smile on my face. He leans over in my direction, with eyes ready to play, and I immediately start to wonder if the head tilt was too flirty instead of funny and playful.

"And unofficially?"

"Almost three months." I divert my eyes back to the drinks that are put in front of me, and thank the bartender.

"Is it serious? Between you two?" He asks, and I don't like the glint of desperation in his voice. Is this what Harry meant, when he said 'you'll see'? Is this guy seriously trying to hit on his cousin's date?

"Well, I cancelled spring break plans with my family, so I sure hope it is." I flash him a smile before taking the drinks and walking back to Harry.

He's sitting alone, despite most every seat around him being taken. Not talking to anyone, not on his phone, just staring into the nothingness. When I approach, he's thrown out of his trance and his eyes follow me instead as I make my way to him and hand over his drink.

"Whiskey on the rocks." I tell him. He smiles at me, putting the glass on the table and grabbing my now free hand. His legs are spread, so he pulls me closer until I'm standing in between them. He looks up at me, and the sole color of his eyes makes my hands sweat profusely.

"Are you having fun?" He asks, his head tilting just like mine did a few seconds ago.

"I am," I say, looking around a bit. "But my legs are a bit tired... Is there a free chair behind you?"

I squint at something that looks like a chair, but I can't really make it out from this angle. When Harry doesn't respond, I look down at him, and find that he was already looking at me. He grabs my waist and pushes me in a bit. Confused, I let my body follow his silent demands, and watch him sit up straighter before pulling me onto his lap.

My back leans against the table, and my legs are thrown over his left one. I hold my drink in my right hand while my left is slung over his shoulder for 'support'. My cheeks flush at the realization that my ass is right on his groin, but I try to make it seem as if it doesn't affect me at all. He holds my waist with his right arm, tracing his fingers around in a way that makes my body shiver.

My eyes fly to my left thigh when he puts his other hand on it, and I try to steady my breathing as much as humanly possible while the tingling sensation between my legs becomes too adamant for me to ignore. The low chuckle that leaves Harry's mouth isn't missed by me, and it makes me even more nervous. He notices, and strikes up a conversation about the party, his family and Matthew.

"He asked me how long we've been official." I decide to tell him. Harry finds it amusing.

"Really?" He smiles. "The fucker."

"What?" I ask, not really understanding how that question adds up to him being a fucker.

"He wants you, been eye fucking you ever since he met you." He explains. "He has a thing for unavailable people, especially if they're unavailable because of me."

"So he just steals your girlfriends? Or at least, tries to?" I clarify, eyes wide, and Harry nods. "How have you not been in thousands of fights already?"

"Never really cared about it." He shrugs. "Most girls were just flings or one night stands, it wasn't anything serious, really."

"Wow." I laugh in disbelief, and it makes me wonder if maybe he is going to let Matthew hit on me. After all, we're faking this. It shouldn't be relief that I feel when Harry's grip on me tightens as soon as Matthew approaches us once again, but I do, I feel relieved. A little bit giddy too.

"Hey, wanna go for a round two?" Matthew asks me after greeting us both. I'm about to decline his offer, but I don't get a chance to speak.

"She's busy." Harry says in a tone that makes my head turn to him. His eyes don't look as friendly as they did before, and the warm smile on his face is looking a little bit more cynical. Matthew takes the hint and wanders off, a bit of disappointment on his face.

"Wow, you really nailed that 'jealous boyfriend' act." I tease him, my left hand instinctively trailing to the back of his head, where I start playing with his hair. He rolls his eyes, pulling me even more into him. I shift in his lap a bit, placing my drink on the table and grabbing his glass instead.

"Here." I hand it to him. "You haven't drank anything since dinner."

"Wow, you're really nailing that 'caring girlfriend' act." He reconstructs my words, and I roll my eyes accordingly. He drinks nonetheless, and I snatch the glass from him, take my cocktail back in my hand, and turn to him again. I frown when his nails dig into my skin.

"Don't move so much."

My cheeks instantly flush. Right...

I am usually way more confident when it comes to flirting. I know exactly what to say, when to say it and how to flutter with my eye lashes in those ways that make men want to drag you to their bedroom. I can flirt with everyone, I'm not easily impressed. Well, except with Malcolm of course, but that was just because I had a crush him. I act like an idiot around people I have a crush on. But I don't. I don't have a crush on Harry. I hated him until a few weeks ago– no. Until a few days ago. I started tolerating him on the plane. Yes, the plane. Oh god, the plane.

"I–" I start a sentence, looking him dead in the eye while realizing that I didn't have something to finish it with. His green eyes along with the feeling of whatever I shouldn't be feeling while sitting on his lap is making me dizzy. "I'm gonna go get a drink."

I try to wiggle out of my seat — which is his lap, oh my god — but Harry seems to find this whole situation very amusing, because for some reason he tightens his grip around me — pushing me more into his hard-on —then nods at the full glass in my hand.

"I think you're good, love." He gives me a half-smirk like I've only seen those guys in the romance movies do and I don't like how it makes my heart pound. What the fuck is happening to me right now?

I look at him, trying to come up with some kind of response that doesn't end up with me sounding like an absolute moron, and then I get lost in his eyes. The loud music fades, and the only thing I can seem to focus on are his eyes and his left hand that grazes further up the slit of my dress. It's only inches, and he trails painfully slow, but he keeps going because he waits for my reaction and it's positive. He can tell by the look in my eyes, and by the way my grip on his hair is a bit too tight.

The tips of his fingers are dangerously close to my panties, and all of a sudden, the music becomes louder again and I feel like I'm waking up from a sinful dream. I swing my legs off of his and get up, my drink almost spilling because of the sudden action. I quickly place it on the table.

"Pee." I say, partly to myself and partly to Harry. "I'm going to... pee."

Harry looks a bit surprised, but more in a way that makes him laugh. I don't miss how his head shakes a bit before giving me a permissive hum. I begin to walk away when I realize a crucial detail is missing, and so I saunter back over to Harry.

"Do you know where the bathrooms are?"

"No." He smirks.

"Oh. okay. Uhm..." I look around aimlessly, hoping to spot some kind of sign. But then, Harry gets up, and stands in front of me. He towers over me easily, it's intimidating and hot. Two things I need him not to be if I want to survive this wedding.

"D'you want to go back to the room?" He asks, voice gone a bit softer. I nod before I even realize that I am doing it, and Harry places a kiss on my temple. Grabbing my hand, he leads us towards the exit, waving goodbye to his parents before we make our way back over to our bedroom.

The cobblestones define the pace of our footsteps, making a whole lot of noise to confirm us where we are. Not that I'd need those stones to find him—he's still holding my hand. I shrug it off, it's dark and he probably doesn't want me to fall face first into these little rocks.

Once we've arrived at our room, Harry walks into the place like it's his apartment, and he goes to occupy the bathroom almost immediately. I grab my white, floral pyjama set that I actually never wear because I like to wear an oversized t-shirt to bed and nothing more. But, I packed my suitcase with the knowledge that I was going to have to lay next to a man the whole week, so I only brought the cute stuff.

When Harry leaves the bathroom, some steam leaves along with him, and I quickly look away at the revelation that he is shirtless, again. I don't miss the amused sniff, but I ignore it nonetheless. I skip into the bathroom, lock it and take a very anticipated shower. A part of me hopes that the water would also wash this weird vibe off. Like if I got out and walked back into that bedroom, my hands wouldn't start to sweat at the sight of him on the bed.

Unfortunately, I am wrong. Because when I do leave the bathroom, not only do my hands start to sweat, but my heart also begins to pound. Fuck.

I'd actively been ignoring this ever since the party. This stupid feeling, thinking it was just me being touch deprived. But I'm not so sure now. Maybe I do have a crush on Harry. However, I can't afford to think about that too much now, so I shake it off and walk over to my side of the bed.

I throw a decorative pillow on the ground and climb into the bed, trying to act as if I don't notice Harry staring at me. He's on his phone, doing God knows what. I grab my book from the bed side table.

"Wuthering Heights, huh?" He smirks, and I can sense the pretentiousness from miles away. I look at him, then roll my eyes with a smile.

"Shut up, it's my favorite story."

"Why? Heathcliff is awful." He frowns, and his tone is a bit mocking. Not to me, just to the story. But it's my favorite story, so I take the offense.

"I just like the fact that it acknowledges that love can make you both whole and destroy you. That loving isn't always really the ending, or the solution. It can be a fleeting middle, break you in a thousand pieces and then leave it for you to pick up the pieces yourself."

"That's a bit pessimistic, innit?" He chuckles. I shrug.

"I think it's realistic to recognize that spite, anger, sadness, and revenge are almost always born out of love, or a lack of it. I think it's optimistic, actually."

He smiles. "Yeah?"

"Mhm." I hum. "Think it creates a space for empathy, does it not?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Harry frowns, as if I've just opened a new door for him. I smile at his face, full of contemplation over what I just said and I know that I'm inevitably screwed.

He should've bashed the freaking book so I could have a reason to hate him.

I decide that I won't be able to concentrate on anything anyway now that I have admitted these weird feelings to myself—and the subject of those feelings is laying next to me—so I shut the book and put it back on my nightstand. 

"Not reading after all?"

"Nope." I chime, my tone sounding way too forced. "Changed my mind. 'M gonna sleep."

I turn off the light on my bedside table and turn around to Harry who is still laying with his phone in his hands. It freaks me out that he is looking at me, it makes me so nervous, but I try my best to be cool.

"Good night." I sigh as my head hits the pillow. I finally look up at Harry—bad move—and my heart melts a bit at his sweet smile.

"Good night."

I am laying with my face towards Harry, mainly because I laid down like that and now I'm too scared to shift too much and look weird, but I feel Harry's burning gaze on me and frankly, it's making me feel incredibly tense. My heart is beating way quicker than it should and I have to consciously steady my breathing in order to provide my lungs with some oxygen.

"Harry." I finally say after three more minutes of tense silence, eyes still closed. He hums softly. "I can feel you looking at me."

I open my eyes, because suddenly I'm very afraid that I'm wrong and look like a complete fool, but he is indeed still staring. He doesn't look like a dear in headlights, he's just smiling. There is a sense of comfort in him that I envy, especially because I feel like I could explode right now.

"Yeah, well, you're nice to look at." He answers, making my cheeks flush with embarrassment. I quickly dart my eyes to his body so I won't have to meet his confrontational gaze — bad idea, bad idea! — and quickly find that staring at his body isn't going to help my case any more.

"Am I making you nervous?" He asks softly, in a way that you could almost describe as sweet. But it isn't, because I know he's reveling in this.

Out of instinct, I look up at him, wide eyed at the fact that he read my mind and my body so well. But I cannot afford this—whatever it is that is hanging in the air right now—so I shake my head.

"Nope, just frustrated." I sigh, which is more a way to get my breathing back to normal. I pull myself up and turn around, my back now towards him, and hope to have closed the conversation for tonight. There is some shuffling from the other side and for a moment I think I did it, I think I won, but then I feel a hand sneak around my bare waist and my mind turns into jelly.

I suck in a sharp breath at the touch of his cold hand and the heat of his mouth on my ear, and swallow a whine at the way it's making my head spin.

"Do you need me to help you relax?" He whispers, and I suck in a deep breath.

"I– I need to sleep." I attempt to reason — mainly with myself — and Harry just chuckles.

"I can think of a way to tire you out." He insinuates smugly and I clench my jaw at his stupid charisma and how well it's working on me.

"Harry, I can't..." I begin the sentence, even though I have no logical argument to say no right now. I want him, really bad but a part of me is forbidding it for reasons unknown, which makes me want it even more. You know what they say about forbidden fruit...

"What? Would you rather be with my cousin? Have him get you off, hmm?" He asks a bit condescendingly, which makes me think the jealous act maybe wasn't such an act after all. His thumb is now circling over my hips and it's making me dizzy, which is exactly what he's trying to do to me.

"No–"

"No?" He plays dumb. His hand lowers to my pyjama shorts and starts playing with it's elastic band. My stomach is on fire and my pussy is aching, it's getting too much for me to brush off. I can't not get off, it's going to kill me. I need life support.

"No!" I whine. He chuckles, kisses my ear lobe.

"That's right... you came to me when he started hitting on you. Such a good, sweet, loyal girl. Sitting on my lap so nicely. Making me so fucking hard..." He taunts, and I start squirming under his touch.

"Harry..." I cry out, because frankly, I can't take another second of this torture. I'm about to implode if he doesn't touch me where I need it between now and twenty seconds.

"What is it sugar?" I can quite literally hear his grin and I groan at the irritating pet name. I grab his arm and try to get out from under his touch, but his grip only tightens on me and he pulls me back into him, cock pressed against my ass. He hums disapprovingly.

"No, feel what you did to me." He leans over to look at me and when our eyes catch, I think my heart malfunctions. "'S not very nice, now is it?"

I shake my head, biting my lip nervously. His eyes dart from mine to my mouth as he breaths out a 'fuck', and he wipes some hair out of my face with his free hand.

He pulls his body away from mine and for a moment I feel like I could cry, but he distracts me by laying me on my back and throwing the sheets off our bodies. He then quickly slips his hand in my pants, grazing his fingers over my underwear.

I look at him, desperately waiting for his next move while he studies my body with a light frown. My eyes go to his sweatpants, and see the straining bulge that hides in it. I go to touch him, offer him some release too but he swats my hand away. The stern look on his face gives me shivers.

"I didn't say you could touch me, now did I?" He states, rubbing his middle finger over my clit, and I curse my underwear for being the only thing that stands in the way of his real touch. Nevertheless, I moan, because he could literally blow on my underwear and I would come right then and there.

"'M sorry." I say softly, shifting when Harry starts to pull down my shorts and underwear. He inspects me, or at least that's what it looks like, and a grin grows on his face.

"I think you'll make it up to me just fine." He beams and starts to circle my clit, causing my hips to shoot up in surprise. He chuckles softly.

"Does that feel good, baby?" He asks and I nod immediately. My eyes begin to feel heavy and I don't know for how much longer I will be able to keep going.

"Harry, slow down or I'm gonna..." I can't get the sentence out because he only starts rubbing faster, and my eyes shut permanently.

"Yeah? You gonna come for me already?" Harry taunts, and I bite my lip to steady the volume of the moans that are leaving my mouth.

"Ah! Oh my– Harry!" I try to sound angry but it's really just me moaning his name very aggressively and the realization that it's his fingers on my clit right now is what sends me over the edge. The explosion feels overdue, and it washes away all the unnecessary tension I'd been feeling since I started fake dating Harry. And now I realized; it was probably sexual frustration.

I close my eyes, trying to control my breathing as well as I possibly can. My legs are shaking and I can feel Harry hovering over me. His body heat warms my cheeks as he hangs over me, leaning on the bed with one arm, holding my face with the other.

"Open your eyes baby." He says softly, and it makes my heart flutter. I am in deep, deep trouble. I do as he says, my eyes meeting his, and the smile on his face makes me feel like I'll melt through the bed.

"You okay?" He asks, stroking my cheek. I nod, head still woozy but not wanting us to stop any time soon.

"I'm okay." I give him verbal confirmation, knowing it's what he needs from me. He kisses my temple, whispers 'good girl' in my ear and moves away from my face.

As soon as I have my breathing a bit under control, my hands reach for his sweatpants, but he Harry grabs my wrists and pushes me away. I frown, and I have to admit that my ego is a bit hurt. I feel like he can see it in my face, because he is quick to explain.

“Believe me I would love to, but another night, okay? Tonight was just for you.”

I can quite literally feel my entire body melt at his words, and it doesn’t help when he gets off the bed and helps me up so I can go to the bathroom.

After I’m done and enter the room again, he is sat up straight at the edge of the bed, and looks at me expectantly. I shoot him an awkward smile and get back into bed. He does the same and we lay silently in the dark for a while.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to…?” I can’t help but ask, feeling like I should return the favor, and still insecure about the fact that he doesn’t want me to.

“Patience, sugar.” He says lowly, and my heart thuds at the kiss I feel being planted on my forehead. The amount of calm I feel is unmatched, and it makes me very sleepy.

“Whatever you say, hot stuff…”

Part 3

[maxknightley]

hey man listen, im sure you just didnt know because hes just a funny haha tweets guy but dril is literally an outspoken nazi on twitter and has made mulitple tweets with nazi dogwhistles and literally responded to someone going "its not a joke, i fucking hate jews". like theres screenshots and posts and stuff about it out there and im sure you could dig through his twit. none of my posts about this ever get picked up because no one wants to admit the internet funnyman is a bad guy but hes like. a literal actual nazi. take that as you will

disclaimer for my followers: do not start shit with this person. I swear to fucking god. be cool.

not to be rude but I looked this up:

on twitter's website, where I found nothing;

on twitter's mobile app, where I also found nothing;

on DuckDuckGo, where I found nothing except the "(((keebler elves)))" tweet, which I think you could reasonably argue was in poor taste but hardly seems like a sincere endorsement of fascist beliefs;

and on Google, where I again found nothing except the "(((keebler elves)))" tweet and people talking about the keebler elves tweet

so, like, with all due respect I think you're either misremembering something / conflating him with someone else, or someone is fucking with you. I'm genuinely not sure what else this could be referring to, other than his recent slew of tweets mocking the nation-state of Israel, which - speaking as an antizionist Jew - I think are good and funny

the main reason I'm posting a response to this ask at all is because I get asks like this a lot. like, every couple months at this point. but usually they're not about dril, who 1. barely uses this website and barely ever has, and 2. has bigger things to worry about! usually they're about Some Trans Woman who I may never have even fucking heard of. I've gotten asks calling latina trans women "white" and accusing them of being turbo-racist because they Disagreed With Someone One Time. I've gotten asks trying to convince me that a woman I've never spoken to is a sexual predator based on literally zero evidence of any kind. and it gets fucking tiresome. okay? it's really, really fucking tiresome

so I figure I'll post this one because it's illustrative, and because it won't stir up shit around someone who might actually get hurt by it. please stop doing this. please stop sending me completely unsupported asks about how such-and-such is a terrible person.

at the bare fucking minimum send me actual concrete Posts that I can look at, because then I can actually judge for myself whether it's something worth getting upset about. otherwise there's basically a 10% chance I look into it, find nothing tangible, and shrug, and a 90% chance it goes straight into the trash.

[comicglitterr0909]

Confused. Vanessa Shelly/Afton x Fem!Reader

Vanessa Shelly/Afton x reader who is really bad with emotions. Reader basically had not the best life, and wasn't allowed to show emotions growing up, and so when reader starts catching feelings for Vanessa, you don't know what it is so they are really confused and awkward around Vanessa, also Mike kinda just doesn't exist in this lmao :D

Even though the pizzeria might not have been my first choice, it's really not that bad. Or maybe I'm just trying to convince myself of that…oh well. I close my car door, careful not to do it too hard, the door would probably fall off. I really needed this job, I have maybe 100 dollars to my name. Sighing I use the key that Mr Raglan gave me, I try to unlock it one way, it doesn't unlock.

“Shit..” I mutter to myself, I turn the key a different way, flip it around, I try everything and it just isn't unlocking. I stand there for like 30 minutes fumbling with this stupid fucking key, and just my luck. A cop car pulls up, oh cool they can probably help me, wait oh shit, they are gonna think im trying to break in. I worriedly look at the cop car and wave, the windows are tinted and it's dark out so I can't see who's in there. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, I try to use the key again, glancing back at the female cop who just got out of her car. She looks nice… she can help, wait, all cops look nice, that's their tactic. 

“Hey. What are you doing?” The officer says as I quickly turn around, I can feel my heart start beating faster, I'm usually fine around cops though, whatever it's just nerves. “Officer! Hi um I'm the security guard here, the key I was given isn’t working. I've been trying for like 30 minutes haha…” That was convincing and definitely not suspicious. Shit. She raises her eyebrow, looking me up and down, and glancing at the lock behind me. “You're really lucky that the owner said there was a new security guard, or I'd probably arrest you. Here let me try.” She says with a smile, I hand her the key without saying anything. Woah my stomach feels weird, am I sick or something?? It feels like my stomach has like… horses running around in it. Weird description but whatever…taking a step back I watch as she unlocks it on the first try. 

That's awkward. “How did you do that?? I swear I... I tried for like 30 minutes…” She turns around and gives me back the key, looking me up and down again, god what happens to me? It feels like I'm going to throw up every time she does that. What is happening to me?? “It’s fine, keys can be difficult sometimes.” She smiles at me, fuck I feel like a fool all I can do is just stand there looking at her, I think im having a stroke. No wait, a heart attack, that more likely feels like my heart is eating itself. “Um, thank you Officer.” Why did I say that so weird, god she must think i'm drunk or something.

“Please, my names Vanessa, Vanessa Shelly.” She holds out her hand for me to shake, AND I STARE AT HER HAND FOR LIKE 3 SECONDS BEFORE AWKWARDLY SHAKING HER HAND OH MY GOD. I'm freaking out, is it hot? No, it's cold, why am I sweating?? “Right, uh, y/n, y/n y/ln. It's really nice to meet you.” It's really nice to meet you? Did I really have to put the really, whatever i can't go back in time. “You too, mind if I stick around for a bit?” YES, wait yes what the fuck is happening why do I feel this way? “Yeah no problem.” I say like a fool, I don't usually overthink things like this. Or do I? Have I just not noticed? Huh, whatever. 

The night goes on, and my heart doesn't slow down, the odd feelings in my stomach continue as she talks to me, and asks me a couple questions. It feels like the night goes way too fast, and I find myself upset when it turns to 6am. Driving home all I can think about her, why? I think I just really want to be friends with her, probably, that's all it is. I get home and lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling, maybe this job won't be as bad as I thought it would be. 

The next day Vanessa doesn’t show up, maybe she never will. I also find out how creepy the pizzeria is and even though my life is practically in danger, I just keep wishing that I’d get to see her again, but just as friends though. Just friends. 

I pull into the parking lot of the pizzeria. Walking up in my goofy looking security vest, I sigh. Yesterday I was actually able to unlock the lock, after 10 minutes…but at least I got it. Ugh, time to try to unlock this for half of my shift. And just like I said, it's been 5 minutes and I still can’t get it. “Does it…go the other way or..” I mutter to myself, before I see headlights shining at me. SHES HERE. Oh god I feel like I shoulda put more effort into myself today, does my hair look okay. I zone out thinking about every possible thing that I could ever overthink, before finally getting snapped out of it by her. “Hey, need help with the lock again?” She says teasingly, grinning at me. Woah, my heart just went to the moon and back okay that's normal. “Uh yeah haha, still can’t seem to get it right.” She takes the key from me and just like before, unlocks it with ease, before handing the key back to me. “I'm gonna hang out again today, hope you don’t mind.” “Hah no, I don’t care, I enjoy the company.” Finally I said something without sounding like a 5 year old. 

We both walk into the pizzeria, without saying anything, as we are walking her hand brushes against mine, there it is again, that fuzzy feeling that only happens with her. Maybe I should google my symptoms. “So how's your day been?” She asks me, with a smile. “Oh, pretty good, better now that you're here haha.” I pause, DID I JUST SAY THAT, holy shit oh god what? What was I thinking?? “That's funny, I was going to say the same thing.” She says with a wink, before continuing to walk down the hall. Everything in my head was screaming at me, I had to remember that walking is something that you do if you wanna follow someone. So I started walking again, maybe I should ask her? She's a cop, she might know what's wrong with me.

We go over to the showtime area. “Hey, have you seen them perform yet?” “They perform?” “Yeah watch.” Vanessa presses the showtime button, and the animatronics jump into a song. I watch them with intent, probably the first thing I've thought about that wasn't Vanessa in 3 days. We both walk over to a booth and sit down, just watching and listening to them do their thing. “So this is cool isn’t it?” She asks, looking at me, I look over at her. That feeling again, I swear I'm having a stroke. “Y/N?” Yup this is a stroke why can’t I answer her? “Y-yeah, right, um yeah this is super cool.” I say looking down at the table, smiling and looking back at her. “Are you okay?” Vanessa asks me, looking genuinely worried.

I gulp and look at her nervously. “Um, not really? I don't know.” “You don't know? What do you mean what's going on?’’ She stands up and squats down in front of me, looking up at me. She takes my hands and holds them. I swear my heart just stops at that point. “Hey, talk to me, what's going on?” “Do you um” I clear my throat. “Do you ever get this weird feeling? Lately my heart has been beating faster than normally, and I'm really nervous and anxious and my stomach feels like it's being twisted up.” She looks at me, with those doe eyes of hers, with genuine care and worry. “And the weirdest part of it all, is it only happens around…well…you.” And with that, the worry on her face disappears into a softer one. She laughs and looks back up at me with a smirk. “Y/N have you ever had a crush before?” “A crush? What's that have to do with this, I’ve never had one before but I’ve heard- oh” And it finally clicks, all those movies i’ve seen are like this, a crush, I have a crush on her. Oh shit. I just admitted to her that I have a crush on her. As she watches me come to realization, I feel my face heat up. “Don’t start stressing yourself out, y/n, I like you too.” She says grinning and looking at me sympathetically. I’m still processing all of it, so I don’t really say anything for 10 seconds. “That's good, I um I like you too…a lot.” “Yup, I realized that.” She teasingly smirks at me. “So are we dating now?” I ask genuinely as she laughs again, standing up. “Wow, you really haven’t ever done this before huh? It’s cute, and yeah, we are dating, cmon.” Vanessa holds her hand out for me to take, and finally, it feels right. No more confusion, it feels right, being with her. I’m finally happy. With her :)

[notmorbid]

their vicious games.

dialogue prompts from their vicious games by joelle wellington.

life has never felt like a game to me.

stand up straight, honey.

there's no place for me here. there never was.

i've got to look better than 'nice'.

no wonder they're secretly terrified of you.

you don't have to prove anything to everyone.

you always make me feel like i'm the main character in a movie.

with knowledge comes the responsibility to know when to keep your mouth shut.

rich people aren't weirdos, they're 'eccentric'.

i don't believe in fate. not for people like me.

everything is going to change, but maybe it should.

you have a smart mouth. i like that.

i can't believe you showed your face here.

what makes you think that there are no rules?

all i want is for you to do better than i did.

if you open the box, there's no turning back.

you pretend you have nothing to say, but i can tell you do.

i know i don't belong, but it only makes me want it more.

i could be convinced with a well-structured argument.

why are you apologizing for ___?

it's fine. i'm fine. i just need to breathe.

you'll never be one of us, and you shouldn't want to be.

getting them before they get you is the only way to win.

what is going on? no talking around the real answer. tell me the truth.

i suspected, but i didn't know. not for sure.

i have to disappear myself.

god, this house is creepy.

will you trust me to help you?

i could have made you prouder. i should have made you prouder.

you look different without your makeup.

get a fucking grip. this isn't a period drama.

you're an adult now. you can pick your own friends.

fearful people make boring conversationalists.

what do you like to eat?

i worry you won't recognize me when i get out.

there are so few secrets when one revels in their own wickedness.

the trick about lying is that you have to believe yourself, for anyone else to believe you.

there is nothing worse than a boy who is lovely and knows it.

i'd do anything for you. be anything for you.

when has a girl ever been allowed to want?

if you don't stop it, you're endorsing it.

there's something different about you.

integrity doesn't mean much to the dead.

it's been so long since i felt anything but afraid.

you strike me as sneaky.

you think you have me figured out yet?

i don't remember it, but the body keeps the score, right?

there are no girls like me. there is only me.

i'd rather you hate me than you be dead.

are you ready to behave?

you are playing a dangerous game, and you will lose.

i am not one to be vexed. people get hurt when i am.

don't get soft on me now.

you're wearing boat shoes? unironically?

you don't get to walk away from me.

why do i take up so much space in your head? i'm practically living there rent-free.

i've got your back. do you have mine?

we are long past sense. sense doesn't belong here.

how do you think i'm feeling?

you're just like your father in a different font.

i've seen enough. i've heard enough. i've had enough.

my loyalty is to ____ alone.

i don't want to hurt you.

why can't you just leave me alone?

i saved you because you weren't going to save yourself.

it's all so easy for you, isn't it?

if you're not going to stop bad things from happening, have the decency to watch. eyes open.

i could love you. i know i could.

your room looks like you.

you were always so disappointing.

i won't leave you until i have to.

____ would want more for you.

stop throwing yourself in front of projectile objects for me.

i'm pretty sure if we survive this, i'm going to have a goddamn concussion.

i'm not the villain of your story.

i don't think i'll ever be sure of anything again.

even my eyes have betrayed me over and over again.

is that what you think of me?

i think that you ruin everything you touch. you want to devour everything you see.

i'm still here.

i didn't know you could cook.

are you sure you don't want to do anything different?

you're the only person who understands.

i never want to forget about you.

don't touch my shit.

i don't know if i'll ever be okay.

there will always be someone new to become.

[not-terezi-pyrope]

I'm gonna stop vagueposting about this and be concrete because holy fuck do I not make good decisions when I leave myself to internalise. Also because in a slightly less pleasant way I need attention, I want others to look at me and argue for what I should do even if I ultimately don't listen to them.

I had been clinically obese for most of my adulthood. I was a skinny teenager but picked up some binge eating tendencies after a mental health crisis when I was 19 and was pretty much eating twice what a doctor might have asked me to. I tried not to care, but I did care. People treat you like shit if you're fat, and if you're a fat trans woman... I felt unwanted, invalidated and unloved. I am the sort of person who craves physical affection and I was being isolated. It felt like death.

At the start of last year I decided I'd had enough and finally listened to what the whole world was telling me, threw aside my concerns about betraying fat pride or whatever and committed to losing weight. Managed to get semaglutide treatments which gave me the kick I needed and started eating less too. It was good. I saw results. My life got better in every way. I was more social, more feminine, people were actually attracted to me.

I may have fucked myself over somewhat now with the positive reinforcement loop, because I'm still not where I'd ideally like my body to be and as I've got used to eating less and found it easier to mentally set myself to do so, over the past few months I started directly counting calories and have been tapering myself lower and lower, substituting low calorie foods for previous staples and being increasingly strict and consistent and eating fewer meals until now recently over the past few weeks I've been averaging less than 800 calories a day and

Yes, I know it's not healthy. I know that and I knew that from the outset. I know all about the risks of eating disorders but you know what, as I often do when I'm making unwise choices I coveted the unbounded disordered thinking of others. Coveted the idea of being so deep in the sauce I couldn't even think about straying from the path I was on. I would (and still do) read through the tags for those dangerous as hell eating disorder communities on tumblr and twitter, and wish that I could go that far.

I look back at the 40kg I've lost in the past year and yet I see people who's "starting weight" is still 10 or 15kg less than I weigh now and think "fuck I'm so bad at this. Will I ever catch up?". I want to catch up. I'm currently in the "healthy" weight bracket but my body is not where I want it to be.

And now I realise I may have been fucking stupid because I'm feeling like shit all the time and my emotions are everywhere and I can feel that I have no energy but it's not like I can. Turn this off! Because I cannot go back to how I used to be, I simply cannot, and I've spent the past year dismantling years of conditioning and replacing it with new conditioning where I have convinced myself no matter what I cannot give up. Because if I do I'll bounce back and I'll be the same unwanted lonely person I was before who people would laugh at on the bus because of my size.

I can't go back surely people must see that. But going forward is skewering me in a way that I am not prepared for. I'm so cold and so tired. Even though my body is still large. I know there's probably a healthy middle ground here but I can't convince myself to risk it when I only just got myself under my control.

And everyone is going to scream at me to go eat a bagel and they will be right and yet I know I can't. Not until I've reached a threshold where taking that risk won't bounce me back to where I was.

I literally am at an impasse here and it's an uncomfortable one. I feel like I can't even really claim this properly because it hasn't been an issue for super long and I'm still large bodied and I'm going so hard on pulling attention to myself - it's like, am I really committed? Am I committed enough long term to treating myself like this to be taken seriously? And the only way to affirm that is not to turn away from my path, not to eat more. Even though

I'm spending a large proportion of my time now in a sort of suspended animation state of emotional disruption because my brain isn't working properly. Working is hard. Leisure is hard. My social life has taken hits lately, and that isn't all my fault. But some of it is, and some of that is because I'm less emotionally stable because of this, and that really should show me that I'm being self-defeating because the whole point of this was to find more friends and community and to be wanted and for people to want me and to have lots and lots of sex

Which I had been getting. But I'm getting less of now because I'm less capable physically, mentally, and emotionally. And yet I don't feel like I can stop, because I still don't want to. And I'm like fuck what have I done to myself. This is such a stupid way to have approached things. But I'm not sure there's really any other way I could have you know

Sorry this is a really rambling post, I'm getting worse at arranging my thoughts. Fuck!

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

Tia… Apparently "Beetlejuice 2" came out (Now there's a wave of it like with everything else), but I don't care, sorry, I'm not a Burton fanatic, a few good jokes and nice shots are never enough for me (That's why I was never fan of the movie "Avatar", for me its hype is too inflated, because the only thing that shows good computer graphics, but the story is meh)

And yes, I grew up watching Tim Burton's Willy Wonka, but even that didn't make me like his work, hello, I didn't even watch "Wendstey" and then everyone was talking about it and making memes out of it…

My taste is specific, I often like things that others don't like (Reboot "Ben 10" and "Be Cool Scooby Doo") and I don't like things that others love ("Rick and Morty" as it was popular, actually, I'm still not a fan of this, sorry, not enough moments that I liked, or "Violetta", someone explain to me why this shit was popular? It was boring and characters as dimensional as Bill Cipher's…)

My taste is simply too different (Maybe because of my origins, but still, it doesn't matter that something is cult if I don't like it…)

And yes, my memories of the movie BJ are so meh, and the end of the movie left me with a bad taste… I don't know, it's just a typical problem with Burton's work, I have the impression that as a director and creator he is overrated (I don't know what word put it here, ok?)

And yes, I have ASD (Before someone with Ableism gets away from me, I'm a person with ASD, so I can say that I don't like his work, I'm a weirdo myself and I have strange taste, but it doesn't change the fact that I have problems with his work, I'm sorry, but I won't change it, I can't fully describe what I don't like, because because of ASD I have problems with describing my feelings, so, as I mentioned, I appreciate the look of the shots and a few gags, but even that won't make me love something, I can't be bought that easily, I need honest character dynamics, and this is something what bothers me about his work, I know, We, people with ASD, have a problem with showing emotions in some cases, or with describing them, but something just doesn't feel right to me and I really can't describe it, the only way I can describe it is that it's quite… Stiff? I know, maybe it doesn't fit to describe what I feel, but I don't feel that the characters reflect each other or have any relationship with each other, the only thing they have in common is the script and dialogues… I'm also tired of the fact that sometimes there is a forced romance, I know, a typical problem with hetero relationships in productions, but it just looks like "Hey, he's straight, so don't worry "that he's a hidden gay or something," but okay, it's a common problem, especially in the last century and at the beginning of this one, which doesn't change the fact that I have my problems with Burton, so yes, even reboots that are hated, at least give something in return, i.e. character dynamics, so you understand, it's a problem that is difficult for me to describe as a person with ASD, but even I have something that doesn't suit me…)

I guess the fandom will hate me for having the nerve to talk about the problems I have with something that's iconic in the USA… But I just can't convince myself that I like something because it's iconic, sorry I have different tastes , but it's not my fault, there's nothing wrong with liking something and there's nothing wrong with not liking something, if it makes you happy and helped you get through a difficult period (GF, vocaloid and musical BJ, that happened to me…), then it's ok if they harass you for liking it (Because they consider it immature or cringe) then that's fine it's their problem, not you, it's the same if you don't like something (Sorry, I'm not a Lydia X Beetlejuice fanatic, I don't like a ship based on a long-time demon and a minor character… Relationship? Okay, lovers? sus)

Now that I have your attention:

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'm writing again, it irritates me, I often don't know what to write, which is why I often see the text "Boycott" and a GIF, or I write and I start to worry that the collections won't reach people because they won't read it to the end…

My feelings towards the Beetlejuice/Tim Burton movie will probably also cause a lot of controversy… Eh… It's less of a worry than the fact that the collections don't arrive…

I'm just tired of the fact that many great artists are underrated, and those who often create something bland are the most overrated, we have so many great creators, but they can't stand out and that's something that really depresses me, I want more artists with ASD and they can prove it even to Burton that they know the dynamics of characters, I just want more creators with ASD, give them a fucking chance, why do they have to not have a diagnosis to achieve anything? This sucks…

[storiesavenged]

experiment 03

bruce banner x enhanced!reader

~ wherein reader is enhanced with cryokinesis (ice powers) in a hydra lab and bruce saves them while on a mission.

~ masterlist | part 2

!! trigger warnings !!

• abuse

• ptsd

authors note ;; cryokinesis is basically like being elsa :P reader can manipulate ice to make weapons/attack or create things with. reader is adressed as three until later on.

you couldn't remember the last time you ate, or the last time you had a long, peaceful sleep. hydra had been working you like a dog, harnessing your cryokinesis- given to you by them of course- for their own benefit. they wanted a weapon that could take down the avengers once and for all. you were always gaslighted into believing they were the evil ones. you were manipulated into doing their bidding, through punishment.

"get the fuck up three. don't make me hurt you." the hydra man spat. you had fallen to the floor from pure exhaustion as they were forcing you to use your powers way beyond what your body could handle. not to mention you hadn't been fed in a few days as you had "not been behaving".

"s-sir... i can't..." you winced, your body already trembling at the thought of what he'd do to you. it was the same every time, but regardless it never failed to horrify you.

the man scoffed.

"pathetic. i can't believe we haven't scrapped you already." he said under his breath, but you had heard it clear. you didn't cry. you couldn't, they had bled you dry for tears. you were numb to every horrible thing they ever said to you. suddenly you were roughly forced to stand and dragged over to your cell. tight metal chains attached securely to your wrists keeping you suspended in the air. you silently prayed like you did each time that someday you'd get out of here. then the punches came. your body jerked with each hit, almost instantly bruising up due to how thin you were. you weren't sure how long he abused you before a loud bang rippled through the basement walls. truthfully you weren't sure what the hell was happening. one minute you're being repeatedly beaten and scolded, the next there's gunshots and yelling. your vision was blurry but you could make out the figure of a man headed your direction.

"shit... i've got a captive down here, they need medical attention.." the man trailed off, his eyes scanning your body. before you knew it you were out of the cuffs and in his arms. you wanted to fight, you knew it was one of the avengers but you didn't have the energy. you simply let it happen, hoping they would be easier on you when they inevitably jailed you again and interrogated you about the operations of hydra. you hoped that it would all be over soon, as your vision went black.

your eyes slowly fluttered open, adjusting to the bright lights of the new place you were in. as you regained more of your conscience, you noticed you were in some sort of medical room. there was a man typing away at a computer across the room from you.

"s-sir...? where am i..." you croaked, attempting to get an idea of what was happening. were they just helping you? or were there ulterior motives?

"oh, you're awake! it's okay, you're in the avengers headquarters medical wing." he explained softly, attentive to how concerned you were.

"don't worry, we won't hurt you." he added, a soft smile adorning his features. you noticed his black, curly hair, and his purple button down underneath a white labcoat.

"o-okay.." you winced a little as you moved to sit yourself up, the man rushing to help.

"hey hey hey it's okay, i've got you." he said as he helped you position yourself more upright. he was so.. kind to you. you weren't sure why, you were convinced the avengers were the bad guys. you were taken out of your thoughts by the man clearing his throat.

"guess i should introduce myself. i'm doctor banner, though bruce is fine if you're more comfortable with that." banner smiled, you couldn't help but feel at ease when he smiled. it made you feel safe.

"i... don't know my name..." you spoke softly, ashamed of yourself. you were taken from an orphanage by hydra when you were just 8, but have no recollection of it. all you'd ever known is is hydra. and the name they had chosen for you was three.

"they call me three.." you added, not sure what else to say. you truly had no sense of self. you weren't allowed to build one.

"is that what you'd like to be called?" banner asked, wanting to make sure you were comfortable.

"i don't know... i-it's all i ever knew.." you admitted, truly unsure of what to think. but you really didn't mind being called three. at first it was a positive thing, a nickname if you will. there was a man at hydra that was nice to you all the time. he called you three affectionately, as before they would just call you experiment 03. you could feel a sense of warmth from his memory, his presence was the only safe one you had ever felt during your time in hydra.

"then we'll call you three. but let me know if you don't like it, i can understand why you wouldn't.." he trailed off, sadness in his eyes. did he feel bad for you?

"u-uhm.. sir-.. d..doctor banner...?" you asked timidly. whenever you didn't use formalities with those at hydra you were punished. it was always sir or ma'am. the fear was always there.

"yeah three?" he replied, moving to grab some instruments to draw blood.

"why... did you guys help me...? i... they... told me you all were bad..." you shook as he came nearer to you with the needle in his hands. your body moved away from it, eyes widening at your own reaction. the last time you tried avoiding hydra's serum injections you were hurt badly.

banner frowned, giving a knowing sigh.

"of course they told you that. well, simply put, you were in trouble. you obviously are not with them, you were taken. right? that's why you were locked up?" he asked, to which you nodded.

"it's our duty to help people; keep them safe. would have been a different story if you were with them, though." he grabbed some more supplies from off his desk, moving slowly towards you again.

"i need to draw some blood, is that okay? i just need to do some tests." he questioned, wanting to make sure you were comfortable. he saw the way you reacted to the needle. being an abuse victim himself he understood, and made sure to not cross any boundaries.

"o-okay..." you nodded timidly, giving him permission. you couldn't help the way your body flinched as the needle went in, and you could hear him make a noise of sadness, presumably about your history which was making you afraid. you almost hated how kind he was to you, your mind was convincing you it was just to get you to trust him so he could betray you later.

"i... i'm so sorry, three. no one deserves to be put through what you experienced..." he looked deep into your eyes, sadness radiating from his own. you searched his in return, feeling a sense of understanding. like he was truly empathetic with your situation. it made you wonder if he had been through a similar thing.

"it's.. it's okay-"

"no, it's not.. no one should treat another person like that..." you swore you saw his eyes flash green, but you chalked it up to you hallucinating, after all you didn't feel much pain so you knew you were on some pretty heavy pain medications.

"i mean.. look at you. no offense but, you're thin as a twig, all black and blue.." he scanned the parts of your body that weren't covered by a hospital gown, wincing at the scars on your pale skin. you shrunk in on yourself, feeling self conscious. you hadn't seen how you looked for a long time but you could only assume it was god awful the way banner looked at you with pity.

"i'm sorry.. but you definitely did not deserve any of this. don't tell yourself you did, okay?" banner urged, you just nodded, fighting a yawn but losing.

"here, get some rest. you've been through a lot today." he said as he helped you lay back down. you fell asleep rather quickly, as you were exhausted.

bruce pov ;;

i worked on analyzing the blood samples taken from three, the results showing me what i feared. i figured they were enhanced but i couldn't be certain without doing tests. one thing that concerned me was how cold three was. my mind wandered off, only being pulled out of my thoughts when someone entered. i turned to see tony standing in the doorframe, eyeing three curiously.

"so this is the kid you saved?" he inquired, moving closer to get a better look.

"yeah, they're resting right now. i feel... awful, tony." i admitted, feeling really emotional about the whole thing.

"how come? this is no different than other rescue missions, what's different about this one?" he asked, and truth be told i wasn't sure why i seemed so emotional about three. partly due to the fact i have been in their shoes for certain, but i don't quite know why else.

"i.. well i empathize with their situation. as you know i was.. well.." i trailed off, clearing my throat.

"this one is just... i can't place it tony. this is the most severe case we've had... and... they're enhanced."

"what? like wanda and cap?" his eyes were wider now, curious as to what the story was.

"i'd assume more like cap, they jolted when i pulled out a needle to draw blood for tests so i assume there's a needle thing there somewhere." i explained, my heart aching for three, wondering just how much they went through.

"what do we know about them?"

"well.. they said they didn't know if they had a name. they've been called three. so i've been calling them three, they don't seem to mind, might be familiar for them amidst all this change." tony nodded, urging me to continue.

"i.. didn't get much else from them. i didn't want to pry too much. but medically i know they are enhanced. i'm not sure what their power is. they are also cold to the touch. at first i thought it was because they were in a basement but it hasn't gotten any better since being here. i'm not sure what that's about." i explained, knowing the temperature thing was an odd detail but i thought tony might have some input.

he walked over to three, standing next to them to examine them. he stopped at their hands, picking one up and looking at it closely. i rolled my stool closer to look at what he was seeing, noticing three's fingertips were ice. how the hell had i not noticed that before??

"i think three here has cryokinesis. ice powers. that would explain them being cold and the ice fingertips. we've got ourselves an elsa." i had to stifle laughter at the joke he made. tony's always finding nicknames for the team.

"hey tony, do you think we should give them a name? you know like... an actual name and not just a number? i can't be certain they are truly happy being called three, surely it must take them right back there.." i rambled off, shaking my head at the thoughts now entering it.

"yeah, that sounds good. got any suggestions?"

"well.. no. i asked you because you're quick to have a nickname for everyone you meet. thought you'd come up with something better than i could." i said. he stroked his stubble covered chin with his fingers, humming softly.

"how about y/n?" he suggested with a shrug.

"i like that, it suits them. i'll let them know they can choose y/n or three when they wake." i smiled. i love the way y/n rolls off the tongue, and it really does suit them.

"well, i should get going. but let me know if you learn more, i'm interested about this one." he stated before making his way out of the room. i shook my head, knowing he probably has a plan for y/n.

you woke up later the next day feeling a lot better than before. the bruises on your body healing

"hey three! how're ya feeling?" he asked, you managed a small smile.

"better, i.. well i haven't had a good sleep in years..." you frowned once more, remembering the uncomfortable cot you slept on in your cell when hydra wasn't working you half to death. you recalled how you slept light since there was always a threat.

"i'm glad you slept well." he smiled, finishing what he was typing on his computer before rolling over to you on his stool.

"so, tony and i had a chat about things and we came up with an actual name for you."

"oh, what is it?" you quizzed, particularly interested to get an actual name.

"tony suggested y/n, i thought it really suited you but ultimately it's up to you if you like it or not." he explained, you loved the way the name rolled off his tongue.

"i.. i love it doctor banner.. i'll use it." you smiled softly, feeling happy they cared about you enough to offer you a real name.

"okay y/n. i'm really glad you like it." he grinned before pulling out a clipboard and clicking his pen.

"i have a few questions for you, is that alright? if you don't feel comfortable answering just let me know- some of these are questions tony had and i would be understanding if they are uncomfortable for you." he explained, looking into your eyes once more.

"okay... i-i'll try to answer as much as i can.." you could feel your hands trembling, intrusive thoughts filling your mind. what if they were just buttering you up to use you to get hydra intel? banner frowned, seeing you trailing off into your thoughts while your hands shook with fear. he couldn't even begin to imagine what they had done to you to make you so timid and afraid.

"alright. tell me everything you know about yourself." he prompted, getting ready to write your answers down.

"well.. i was taken by hydra at a young age.. given cryokinetic powers through injections. i would say i have excellent control of my abilities, there was never a moment i wasn't training them- but because of that i don't recognize when i've pushed myself too much." you explained, focusing on your breathing to keep yourself calm as you searched through all your other memories.

"i don't remember much of anything from my life before hydra. they also... told me..." you trailed off, hands trembling once more.

"what did they say?" banner asked, a worried look on his face now.

"they told me... to k-kill you all..." you started to panic a little, worried they would hurt you because you were supposed to kill them.

"n-not that i would want to s-sir.. i-i don't want to hurt you all i swear!! i-i'm not... i'm not with them..." your breathing picked up in pace rapidly, and soon you were in a full blown panic attack, ice covering the walls and ceiling due to your emotions being on high. this caused tony to book it down to where you were.

"what the hell is happening here?" his voice boomed as he ripped open the door, ice falling from it and onto the ground. he took one look at you, curled up and rocking back and forth, hyperventilating and his face softened now knowing you weren't turning against them. he rushed to your side along with banner and took your hands in his, shuddering at how cold they were.

"y/n listen to me, can you hear me? i need you to take deep breaths okay? we're not going to hurt you. you're safe here." he spoke calmly, rubbing your palms with his thumbs to try to bring you back to reality.

"breathe with us y/n, okay? i need you to take a deep breath in, ready?" banner instructed, getting a shaky nod from you he continued to lead you through deep breathing. as you calmed down the ice went away too, bringing the room's temperature back up and with it your own temperature.

"i.. 'm sorry... p-please believe me.. i don't work for them.. i don't want to k.. kill.." you whimpered, afraid of the mere thought of having to kill them especially after they'd been so nice to you. you tucked your knees into your chest, your forehead resting on them. tony looked at bruce, an eyebrow raised and confusion in his eyes.

"hydra told y/n we were the enemy, tony. they told them to kill us. i guess they realized they were supposed to and thought we'd hurt them for it.." banner sighed, explaining to tony why this had even happened in the first place.

"i see.. i believe you y/n. if you wanted to you would have tried by now." tony rested a hand gently on your shoulder. you looked up to see a smile on his face, sincerety written on his features. he knew trust had to be built before he would offer a place as an avenger to you. after all seeing your powers in motion convinced him all that much more you needed to be on the team.

"t-thank you sir... for believing me.. and helping me.." you gave a small smile, looking at both of them.

"you've got banner to thank for that one, y/n. he's the one that rescued you." he smirked at banner, he was a genius afterall so he knew banner felt something for you.

"doctor banner.. you were the one who..." you trailed off, your mind replaying the moment you were taken out of the hydra base that kept you away from the world for so long. your eyes widened as you realized it was bruce that helped you.

"i.. how can i ever repay you..?" you whispered, not even sure how you could possibly return the favour.

"oh, y/n please you don't have to repay me at all. i did what any one of us would have done. it's our duty, i really don't expect anything in return for doing my job." he smiled. something about his smile made you feel different- good different. maybe staying with the avengers wouldn't be so bad.

authors note ;; making this a series ^^ i really loved this idea and i think it called for a series anyway as it was a very open prompt. parts will be published at my own pace

masterlist

[pollymorgan]

Teacher Negan - The Football Game - Part 3

Warnings: Of course, there's still a big age difference and Negan is an absolute asshole.

I confess to him that I will be a student at his high school after the summer holidays and therefore lied about my age. I stare at the ceiling, not daring to look at him, but even without eye contact, I feel the tension in the room.

Negan sits up and runs his hands over his face. I dare a quick look at his naked back.

"Shit.." he mumbles softly and then repeats it louder, "Damn shit!"

He turns abruptly to me and looks me directly in the eyes. I can't really decipher his gaze, but I know I've screwed up big time. I am painfully aware of that now.

"Do you realize that with this whole action, you have not only jeopardized my job but damn it, everything?" You can feel he's trying to stay calm, but his voice trembles and sends shivers down my spine.

I sit up now and try to hide my naked body under the covers. I feel incredibly vulnerable and exposed.

With a trembling voice, I try to justify myself. "I'm sorry, I.. I didn't know that...".

"This whole thing must never be found out! Understand?!" he interrupts me without hesitation. He doesn't even acknowledge what I'm trying to explain. My words don't reach him, so I reply only as expressively as possible. "Of course not!!".

He shakes his head in disbelief and then thinks for a moment. The silence in the room makes me feel my heartbeat so clearly that I could swear you can hear it pounding.

Suddenly, Negan stands up and without looking at me, he says emotionlessly, "I'll call you a taxi and then go shower. By the time I'm done, you'll be gone!"

As he says this, I feel my throat tighten. I would like to cry, to get rid of the feeling of not being able to breathe, but I pull myself together as best as I can. When he leaves the bedroom, I can already hear him starting to make a phone call. Quickly, I get up and gather my things from the floor to get dressed quickly.

When I accidentally discover a notepad and pens on his desk, I tear off a piece of paper and write on it "I'm really sorry, but I don't want to undo this night! Sam." Below that, I place my phone number. I have no idea what I hope to achieve with this. I know that this note will probably be torn into a thousand pieces and thrown in the trash in a few minutes. Then I quietly leave the house, as if I want to slip away.

The next few days are really tough for me. I constantly beat myself up with feelings of guilt and can't even talk to anyone about what happened. And the worst part is that I strangely miss Negan. Scenes from that night play over and over in my mind. I imagine how his skin felt on mine. How he looked at me. His dominant voice. The feeling of his fingers, his tongue, his penis. Never has a man driven me so crazy. But why him of all people?

I catch myself constantly staring at my phone. Hoping he didn't throw away my number and would contact me. But of course, no message from him comes.

I only have one option left. I have to get him out of my head and hope that we run into each other as rarely as possible at school. And that won't be too hard, I tell myself. It's a pretty big high school after all.

My cousin keeps asking me and wants to know who or what is responsible for my bad mood. But the fact that I can't talk to her about it depresses me even more. I constantly come up with excuses. "I miss my old clique.. moving is more emotional than I thought!" I lie to her.

She convinces me to make the most of the rest of my summer holidays and introduces me to some of her friends, and luckily, she is so persistent because over time, I have more and more fun. They are really great friends who are up for any activity and distract me perfectly.

The weather is wonderful, and this city offers so many opportunities. Hardly a day goes by when we're not out and about. Shopping malls, swimming pools, sports events, concerts, bars, nightclubs. Over time, I already know my new hometown quite well.

I wish these holidays would never end. But all good things come to an end. I've painfully experienced that several times already, so I have only one week of free time left.

My cousin, a handful of other friends, and I are once again sitting in one of our favorite places in the evening. We've been out all day and are pretty tired, but none of us can say no to one last drink.

I'm about to take a selfie with my friends when I see on my display that I have three missed calls from an unknown number. Surprised, I stare at my phone, which I had silenced so low that I probably didn't hear it ring in the bar's noise. It starts vibrating in my hand again. The same number flashes. Hesitantly, I press the green call button and say loudly, to drown out the background noise, "Hello?"

"Sam? Are you there?" answers a familiar deep voice. A lightning bolt shoots through my body, and my heart skips a beat. Almost automatically, I stand up and move away from my friends, who look at me questioningly.

"Negan?" I ask cautiously.

"It feels so good to hear your voice, damn it, how many times have I imagined it in the last few days!" he says slightly slurred. Oh man, is he drunk?

I can't think clearly and am completely overwhelmed by the situation. I leave the bar purposefully, and the warm night air gives me a chance to take a deep breath again.

"What do you want?" I ask, confused.

"What do I want? I want you, of course, but I can't have you, and that's the damn problem. Tell me you think of me too.. Please, I need to hear it..!".

Oh yes, he's definitely drunk. But as the saying goes, drunk people and little children always tell the truth. And the fact alone that he still has my number makes a lot clear to me.

"I think about you all the time.." I confess, watching the bright lights of passing cars. All the feelings I've successfully suppressed in the past weeks now come rushing back like an avalanche.

"I want you here, to touch you, to see your beautiful smile, Sam. I don't want to have to imagine it anymore.." he whispers into the phone, giving me goosebumps.

"Okay, give me 30 minutes, and I'll be there..." I say decisively into the phone. Suddenly, there is a strange silence on the other end. I wait for his response, my pulse racing wildly.

Hesitantly, he says, "That's not possible.. My wife is back from her cure, and besides, it wouldn't be right. It would be so damn wrong...".

I can't believe he's saying this. He calls me to reopen all wounds and make me feel bad. He was the one who invited me after the football game. He seduced me and took me to his place, even though he's married. He was the one who kicked me out and is now calling me after weeks just to reject me again.

It suddenly dawns on me that I wasn't the villain in this whole situation. Resolutely, I speak into the phone. "Negan, you know what? Just delete my number and forget everything that happened between us." With these words, I press the red call button with trembling fingers. I couldn't have handled a response from him at this point.

[alexjcrowley]

So, I watched Casino Royale (2006), in my quest to rewatch all of the Daniel Craig's James Bond movies and answer the question: "Do I really hate James Bond movies? Or was I just a kid when some of them came out and I didn't care for spy movies?"

I'll start by saying that I liked Casino Royale much, much more than I had expected. It's 2 hours and a half long, which today is the standard running time for any blockbuster, but lately I had managed to convince myself that, during my childhood, blockbusters were shorter and didn't kidnap an audience in a movie theatre for almost 3 hours. I was wrong.

(Now, SPOILERS ahead)

Starting with what I liked.

First thing first: James Bond. I was never fond of Bond's character, I have always thought him boring instead of serious, slimy instead of charming, and generally very annoying with the whole "I'm the man" demeneanor. I was also wrong. I really liked Daniel Craig in this first movie. We see Bond at the very start of his career, he has just been promoted 00 status and he has a lot to learn. He takes almost as many punches as he gives, he is too instinctive and his ego often gets his own way. He is far from perfect and many people give him shit for that, especially women. Casino Royale holds his main character accountable for most of the bullshit he does and that was a welcome surprise.

The plot. I am proud to say I think I understood the entire plot of the movie. I know it might not seem much a of a brag and I swear I can usually understand the plot of a movie- but James Bond's ones are often too convoluted for me. I feel like Casino Royale, partly thanks to chunk of explaination given by M, was fairly easy to follow. There were also many predictable twists- not necesserily a bad thing though, because they did make sense. I really liked how Mads Mikkelsen- brilliant as always in the role of the main villain Le Chiffre- was being hunted both by Bond and by far more dangerous people he owed money to. I think the movie lost itself a little bit in a the last part, but I'll discuss that later.

Vesper Lynd. I have no idea what the press conferences around Casino Royale were like, but I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of them focused on a better treatment of female characters in the Bond's franchise. I was expecting to be bored to death by the umpeteenth only apparently hard-to-get woman falling for Bond's charms, and I am happy to say it was nothing like that. First of all, and I mean it as a compliment, the Bond and Vesper banter is ao3-tier. The chemistry is there, there's equal teasing on both sides, which makes it looks they just work very well as a couple. But the scene I liked the most is right after James Bond loses a really important game of poker. He goes out on the balcony, Vesper follows him and James asks her to give him more money, because he thinks he can win the next game. Vesper says no. James insists, in what you could call the classical "all or nothing" scene of a movie. The one in which the protagonist is like "you have to believe in me, I can do this, look into my eyes, trust me one more time and I'll prove it to you", sprinkled with a little more "If you don't do this, all that money" that he lost "will be in the villain's hands" and grasping Vesper's arm very tightly. And Vesper's response is not "Okay, I will give you the money to save the world, but don't let me regret this, James". The first thing Vesper tells him is get his hand off of her. The second is that she is not going to give him more money, because he lost that game due to his ego (a motif that had already been introduced at the beginning of the movie) and if he keeps playing now, he is going to keep losing. And then she leaves. This, and the dialogue in which she basically asks if she has to worry about Bond's breaking into her room and trying to force himself on her with Bond reassuring her he won't, were moments I really appreciated. The James Bond saga is not exactly well known to be fair to female characters and, especially, James Bond's love interests are often poorly written. They could have gone the easy route, they could have had Vesper trusting James blindly because he is the main character, but, instead, she stood up to him. I really, really like this decision. As James Bond has been cemented as an icon of masculinity, it is shown that not only even he can be wrong, but also that this is rightly pointed out by a woman. In this occasion, he's being emotional and illogical, while she is being the reasonable one. And I feel this is as relevant today as it was in 2006.

Favourite scene: the torture. I am not really crazy about torture scenes usually, but I really loved the one between James Bond and Le Chiffre. It's not just that the acting- especially on Daniel Craig's part- is phenomenal, it's what that scene means. According to my interpretation, based purely on how Craig played the character, that seems to be the first time James Bond has ever been tortured and you can see he's fucking terrified. And you see him going from terrified back to that mask of neutrality, even though it is now dented. There are moments in which pain slowly morphs into an exasperated laughter and James is turning to crude humour to deal with the situation because he has already made his decision- he won't give up the code, so he's gonna die there, if he is lucky. If he's not, many hours, if not days, of torture await him. It's a momumental test of an actor for Craig.

So, yeah, lots to love. Let's now move to what I didn't like.

The action. Not all the action in Casino Royale is bad, on the contrary, but a couple of things were simply goofy. Like the first bomber being a parkour God, especially compared to James Bond's clusmy ass? Top-tier comedy, maybe intentionally, maybe not. I know for a fact the dramatic zooms were not intentionally comedic, but alas. And I gotta ask, other than being the easiest way to kill off Vesper, what was the point of that last Venice action sequence? To me, that was really overdrawn and forgetful.

The wife of the first villain. Her dialogue about liking bad guys is very cringe and I don't know who directed Daniel Craig in the scene in which reacts to her death, but holy shit that's one of the worst sequence of the movie. At first he seems indifferent to her being tortured and killed, then M goes on her whole tirade about Le Chiffre, and then, suddenly, when she asks if James Bond can handle the mission, Daniel Craig is looking at dead body of the villain's wife doing the most exaggrated heavy breathing since the stuff you could find of Looney Tunes. And then says "no" in a completely neutral, and accidentally comedic, tone. Jesus Christ. What a shit show.

James Bond's character arc, a.k.a. the romcom act. Yeah, I know, I said I liked James Bond before. But I have beef with the way the character evolved. I would say I pretty much like what we see in 2/3 of the movie. The problem for me arrives post torture, when we are made believe we have finally reached a happy ending. Vesper and Bond declare their love to each other, great, it was to be expected. But the fact that a few days after that- at least it looks like a few days- James Bond is like "Yeah, no, I'm in love with you, I wanna quit my job and spend the rest of my life with you" feels very rushed to me. Sure, near death experiences really bond people together, but let's recap the events of this movie. At the beginning of the movie, James Bond has just become 007. If I am not wrong, Casino Royale is James Bond's first mission as a 00 agent. We don't know how much time he has spent hunting down the parkour-bomber of the beginning of the movie, but we know that something like 2 days later he is sent to the Bahamas, then goes to Miami, all in the span of 2 days, and then he gets sent to Montenegro for something like 3 or 4 days. At the end of the Montenegro section, there's the torture scene, so all we know is that he ends up in a hospital and stays there for an unspecified while (which he spends mostly unconscious) and it's at that point, after declaring his love to Vesper, that he goes "Yeah I don't want to be a spy anymore". Bitch, you have been a spy for less than a month and you have known this woman for 2 weeks at best, and I am counting the time you were unconscious. Am I the only one who feels this is rushed? Especially because, during a game of deduction he and Vesper played, Vesper seemed to rightly deduce James wanted to be a spy because he had a chip on his shoulder about proving is worth- did that just go away? Wow, James, you gotta teach me how to solve self-worth related issues that fast. And the canonical reason why James wants to leave the job is because it's "eating his soul away" or some shit like that, and he wants to leave with that little bit of soul he still got. Once again, bitch, please. You have not been on the job for one month, what the fuck are you talking about. Maybe it's because you're not used to have a job, Mr Bond, but every single job eats your soul away and you live with that, because otherwise you won't be able to pay the bills. Just to be clear, I'm not mad at the idea that James Bond wants to leave his job. I think it feels rushed and I think it's a little bit too obvious something will happen to Vesper at this point because there's no way James Bond is quitting the job in his first movie, but I would have accepted this change of heart from Bond if I had been given a good reason for it. For example, the fact that he has been tortured. To me, it would have made much more sense if James Bond would have been like "You know what? Being tortured is fucking terrifying, much more than I thought during my spy training, I don't think I can handle that again", I would have believed that. But instead, we got some bullshit on the soul. James Bond screenwriters, being afraid of torture doesn't make you any less of a man, I swear. All in all, James Bond deciding to change his entire life goals just because he fell in love seems the kind of shit writing the female lead would get in a shitty romance movie, not the one of the main (male) character of a spy movie. Maybe it's poetic justice, but I think James Bond somehow found himself a victim of what is usually regarded as misogynistic writing. He then regresses to the emotional maturity of a teenage boy who spends too much time on reddit when he feels betrayed by Vesper, while M has to explain as you would to a 5-year-old that Vesper, if anything, tried to save Bond. A very undignified main character arc, if you ask me.

Vesper's death. Why did Vesper basically kill herself? I genuinely thought her death was a Jack and Rose situation- they both could fit on the door! I think James would have been able to save Vesper if she only didn't lock herself in the elevator. The only explaination that I can give myself to that decision is that Vesper didn't want to live with the guilt of condemning her past lover to death in saving James.

I am not good at giving grades to movies, instead I will say this: it's definitely worth a watch if you're into spy movies and the bisexual panic induced by Eva Green and Daniel Craig will not leave you for a good while. If you're willing to be forgiving of a few sequences, it's a very enjoyable action flick.

Onto the last part: my quest to prove James Bond is aro and/or ace.

Why do I want to prove that? I guess if there were more aromantic characters I could just turn to them for representation, but I have to do everything by myself around here.

My reasons to believe James Bond is aro: as someone who, for the moment, identifies as aroallo, I really sympathise with characters that indulge in a lot of sex, but keep romance at an arm's lenght. I don't think they're shallow, I think maybe romance is simply not their thing, just like it's not mine.

My reasons to believe James Bond is ace: I think James Bond may have a pretty fucked up relationship with sex because of his job. His entire body basically belongs to the governemnt: it's a weapon to kill, a disposable dummy to be tortured and, in some occasions, an object of desire, used to seduce, possess and be possessed. You could pretty much say that a fraction of his job is similar to that of a sex worker. Far from implying that being a sex worker automatically fucks up your relationship with sex, I think being forced to have sex with people who you sometimes despise and who might want to hurt you or even kill you is not, like, the best thing ever. And also, while a sex worker can theoretically pick their clients, James can't. He has to seduce who is useful to seduce for the mission, regardless of how he feels about them. And, to top it all off, I like the idea of James Bond being ace because I am tired of the whole "James Bond is so cool because he fucks a lot and which man wouldn't want to fuck a lot". Maybe James Bond doesn't want to fuck a lot, or maybe he doesn't derive as much pleasure from it as people believe he does.

Okay, so. Starting with aro spectrum, even though James falls for Vesper, I think we still have good chances of him being aro, either fully aro or something like greyromantic. After all, aromantics can still, even if rarely, fall in love and I think, for the way the character of James Bond has been presented, him falling for Vesper was quite an unexpected/out of character thing for him. Him deciding ti quit his entire past life to be with Vesper...is truly just bad writing for me, but even accepting it, I don't think it makes him any less aro, because as I explained he could have had much better reasons to want to quite his job and, personally, if I fell in love with somebody after years of that just not happening for me, I wouldn't know how I would react. Maybe I would also call it a miracle and just roll with it.

About the ace spectrum, we see him seducing a villain's wife at some point, but I will be honest. That shit don't count. There is this moment in which the woman is like "I always fall for bad men😏" and James Bond immediately gets out of the sexy mood and goes "So would you say your husband is a bad man? Why? Because of his job?". He does a 180 and goes from wet dream to interrogator in less than a second. Plus, he seems to leave her without having sex with her to go chase her villain husband. Very professional of him, but also makes me think he was never that much into her as he made her believe. The whole thing felt too calculated on his part, I would definitely say he was faking the whole time. James does have very enthusiatic sex with Vesper, though. If I want to stick to what the movie implies, without going off the tracks with something like "he pretended to be enthusiatic during the whole thing but he was faking for Vesper's happiness", I may still go with the fact that he is for sure sex positive and maybe demi-sexual.

Well, if you have read until this point, I am genuinely surprised. You don't have that much to do, I guess, good for you.

Onto Quantum of Solace next, and I am already shaking: I know that movie is bad. I know about the writers strike. God help me.

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ DISCO ELYSIUM / Part 3 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

'lovers is such an emotional word.'

'he was out of his fucking mind. you have no idea!'

'i am at the end of my *goddamn* rope with you.'

'keep it -- maybe you'll need a reminder of human ugliness one day.'

'this is gonna be really bad for my health, isn't it?'

'whooh, this shit is strong. this shit is disco.'

'it's nothing, just got to cut back on coffee.'

'i wish you hadn't told me that. i'm gonna lose *sleep* over the subject.'

'honestly, i'm just relieved you didn't get a hernia. a man of your age...'

'sometimes it's necessary to resort to extreme measures.'

'the wards... the door... it's all gone now. dark psychic energy, leeching in...'

'i hope you're happy now, happy that you've ruined everything.'

'cursed? but i thought the curse wasn't real.'

'i'm not going to grade a human being. i don't do that.'

'yeah, actually it's super all right for kids to chew their hands off. forget i said anything.'

'i've heard the stories, but i don't think those stories are true.'

'she's convinced that the place is swarming with malicious energies.'

'employing sulky teenage girls is a widespread practice.'

'i'm sure the bear was doing its best.'

'it's an imaginary beast that guides you through life. by telling you to do more drugs, mostly.'

'rest assured, no psychic attacks will reach you here.'

'no one's ever really safe from the failure.'

'there's something inherently violent even about dice rolls.'

'it's mostly drunks and degenerates who come here.'

'drunks and degenerates -- that's my crew!'

'i think i might be a drunk. or a degenerate.'

'nobody's perfect. i'm sure even you've been tempted to drink.'

'no need for the histrionics.'

'i see you're a connoisseur of high-quality combat gear.'

'this arouses no special feelings in me.'

'you won't get me and you won't get my money!'

'everyone knows drugs make you invulnerable to cold.'

'i mean: we get drinks, come back here, sit on the frozen sea ice and drink until we start talking about fucked-up emotional stuff. the *worst*.'

'i mean: we get drinks -- and we also get drugs.'

'it's *the* coolest place in this whole drug-addled shithole.'

'i get down.'

'i grind.'

'no man, fuck that, i'm cool... i'm sorry i said that. i'm sorry about the *fuck*.'

'you know, drinking, getting into fights. the ugly stuff that happens when you move out of your parents' place at thirteen.'

'i'm major party animal myself. MAJOR.'

'i'm sorry you have to sit here on the ice with the drugs wearing off. at your age -- or ay age -- in this weather.. waiting for it to get dark.'