#and no i dont condone any of this happening in real life but if it happened to ME personally then i would be flattered and

[daisies-on-a-cup]

i cant get the cool things i enjoy and put them up in my room bc if i bring people over and they ask about them, even if they are non-judgmental and genuine, i would be unable to explain why i like those things due to the massive levels of cringe that would overwhelm my brain

[clitorphosis]

SPIT TO SEE THE SHINE

Vendetta Leon S. Kennedy x reader |18+ MDNI. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, KIDNAPPING, DUB CON, smut, age gap (reader is in 20s, Leon is 37) female reader, abusive relationship, implied alcoholism, stockholm syndrome, creampie, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, use of ‘daddy’ (not a lot), implied erectile disfunction lmao, victim blaming, fingering, implied physical and sexual violence, forced breeding.

Summary: life gets lonelier after 30s, the realization hits harder Leon and the way to cope with it is to get his hands on alcohol… too bad booze tends to encourage him to not be a good man - ending up with a younger girl in his apartment. Maybe it is a grave mistake, but Leon is just a man and who doesn’t make them? notes: uhm, this may be a lil bit self indulgent, sorry for that :3 I DONT CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOR IN REAL LIFE!!! reblogs, asks and any kind of feedback or interaction are really appreciated! :3

tags: @withonly-sweetheart

Mama has told you not to trust strangers, the concern was referred to the men, but your ears have never held her words for a time longer than a day. Nor did you remember her words when an attractive, older man noticed you and was nice enough to ask you out. That night was supposed to be a little date, giddy and happy jumping into the front seat of his car. That’s the last thing you remember. Eventually, you can not fathom how this happened - the day later your head hurt as you were forced to swallow the hard pill: you got kidnapped by your date.

The first month was insufferable and painful, slowly growing out of your ‘rebellious attitude’ and memorizing his body language like a child in an abusive household. His gaze is everywhere, keeping you locked up in the room when he is not present, a reminder to you that there is no free choice. The food, clothes, and your free time were defined by Leon’s mood and taste which… Liked to swing, creating a mess for you both, not knowing if he was genuinely ashamed of what he had done. You hated him, dreaming about the day when his throat would be sliced, painting your hands with red just to breathe in the air of freedom.

Mama knows best. No, Leon knows best.

Sometimes Leon is mean, without hesitation, sharp words can be thrown at you when he is drunk. Blaming his misery on you. Trying not to be affected by them, not enough to avoid some of them as they cling to your mind - circling as a reminder.

“You deserve this, what did you think a man would want from a woman?”,

“you are better dead”,

“you asked for this”. Did you actually?

Sometimes he is the nicest guy around here. Showering you with tenderness and care, trying to have a normal conversation, but not daring to look into your eyes. Ashamed probably, which was bittersweet and pleasant, but confusing too. Like a couple. You promised yourself to not change the way you feel about him, even if he is sweet. Not like you have a lot of options now.

Certainly, Stockholm syndrome wasn’t going to avoid you, it didn’t take long either. You aren’t special and Leon looked so lonely, returning after work mostly devastated. The expression someone would have had while grieving over something not obtainable. Not even daring to look into your face, ignoring you until his hands do not reach the booze - drinking himself until his mood changes to a handsy one. Physical or sexual. Sometimes both. And Leon is lonely, he told it himself once. Naturally or not, anger has changed to pity, while hate is mixed with something affectionate towards him. You can’t help yourself.

As someone has said - from love to hatred is one step.

So the routine has become clear after a month of staying here, sitting on the floor and watching TV while Leon is behind you. Big brother is watching you - no, Leon is watching you. Drunk or not, monitoring whatever is on the screen is appropriate in his eyes. Not for too long you were concentrating on the blue gleam coming from the screen, illuminating both frames in the living room, now like a natural thing for you both - his fingers end up in your panties to rub your clit in slow and lazy circles. His chest is pressing against your back, focused on your expressions and squirming. His calloused fingertips press harder against your sensitive clit, to hear your voice. Your body is the biggest enemy here - like a Pavlovian dog, reacting to his touch quickly and eagerly. The skin of his fingers is wet and soaked with your slick already, in no time, filling the room with squelching and wet sounds as your moans become harder to keep to yourself. Writhing and trying to shift away, but your body tends to become immobile most of the time - there is no fight or flight, just freeze.

“You look so miserable. It is reassuring, so cute too” In misery, together. His tone is the one someone would use for a dog. Always using that one with you, but you are not a dog. Not like you have any other choices right now, other than taking like a good girl and not lamenting.

If someone would have asked you, Leon is shameless with you, not the one to be shy after a bottle of whiskey, even if he can’t get it up sometimes. His fingers nudge your soaked hole, which aches for his attention. It clenches around nothing, pathetically and you disappointedly whine at the emptiness inside you.

“Come on, open your legs, be a nice girl for Daddy” Leon cooed. His lips brush over your ear, not giving you a chance to do this by yourself - forcing your legs roughly to part wider. “So much better now”

Your hips shift, arching your back as his two fingers intrude into your pussy, curling sweetly inside it to push them at your favorite sweet spot - to enforce more moans at every jolt of pleasure hitting your body. Leon likes that, watching you squirm and open your mouth like a fish desperate for air cause of him. His grip on your jaw is tight, painful even - there are going to be bruises tomorrow and he will be apologizing like a madman.

“Daddy has been so miserable these days too, fucking Redfield is always hassling me.” You don’t know who is that. The sound of his hand fumbling with his belt and the fly of his jeans reach your ears, a loud noise of them falling on the floor. “Can’t even have a vacation, what would you do without me, baby?”

“Ughh…!” you choke on your moans. There is no thought behind your eyes, your entire attention is on your pleasure. Feeling overwhelmed at every thrust of his fingers, writhing in his hold while he is roughly pumping into your drenched hole, an uncomfortable wetness clings to your inner thighs - begging to fuck you already.

“Fuck, I am so sorry, sweetheart, but you are so wet. I can’t. Just the tip, okay? Sorry,” he groans breathlessly, giving hot and quick kisses on the side of your head. Sweet touch. His gaze darkens and his body presses harder against yours, feeling his erection press against your ass. “just… this hole is dripping, and you don’t look like you don’t want it”

You are so close actually, every thrust hitting your sweet spot, curling, and keeping the quick pace of his fingers make you almost drool while focusing on approaching orgasm. Too bad that isn’t on his to-do list. As much as he wants to see you cum, on his fingers or not, - his own pleasure is much more important, especially when his dick is hard. Whiskey dick isn’t so easy to get up these days. His fingers roughly withdraw from your soaked hole with a squelching pop, denying your orgasm. The emptiness returns and your sensitive pussy clenched around nothing again - aching to be filled again.

“So messy,” Leon mutters out, shoving his index and middle fingers in your mouth - forcing you to clean them, your tongue rolls and wraps around them, tasting yourself before he finally pulls them away. “asking for bad things to happen”

You can swear to God this made your clit throb. Wetter than you can ever be, or you are hallucinating, hoping this isn’t the case. Thoughts are quickly brushed aside when his cock is pressed in between your pussy lips, bumping against your aching clit while he rubs himself against your soaked and needy cunt that coats his flesh in your slick, lubing his length in it before he pushed his cock into you - Leon is not really a patient man. Yeah, just the tip, of course. Your velvety walls easily swallow his cock, stretching inch by inch with pleasant pain and letting it slide as he pushed in quick motion until his cock got buried deep inside you. Balls pressed against your flesh, while you can’t help but tightly clench around him, his chest is pressed against your back. Relishing how tight and warm is your pussy, the best and most calming feeling for Leon - to fill you with his cock for his own pleasure. Your hair gets tugged roughly, making your head roll back while Leon starts moving slowly. His cock drags against your walls, pulling out until only a tip remains inside.

“See? Only a tip” Leon mocks you, before slamming back in, bottoming out in one thrust. You whimper and squirm, but his hold on your hair is hard - the only way to keep you under his control. His hips start pounding into you, falling deep into the pleasure connecting your bodies. “Your pussy just feels so good, weren’t you made for this, mmm?”

His movements stutter as his pace slowens when his blue eyes make eye contact with the TV. You didn’t really catch on what was happening until his hand tugged your hair, directing your half-lidded gaze to the point of his interest. The sight of your image on the news, big words on the red background: MISSING PERSON. The former shelf of yourself is staring at you both, smiling brightly - not knowing there is no future for you. The volume is turned off. In this household, it is common knowledge that Leon doesn’t let you watch the news, every time getting agitated and avoiding you even more, when sober, which doesn’t last long after that. The mood swing was quick, every time it was like a loud thunderstorm, his hips make another thrust - cock hits your cervix and forces out a loud moan, involuntarily, when Leon’s cockhead grinds against it.

“This is bullshit, you know?” He hisses into your ear, giving another rough thrust to make you gasp pathetically, as he presses your head against the TV screen. “no one is coming for you. Why? Cause you are forgettable, baby, no one needs you”

“S-stop, Leon” you mumble in between moans and trying to keep yourself aware of what is happening. “T-too much, p-please!”

Your body feels like it is on fire due to the mix of emotions he provokes, your cunt grips his cock tightly while aching for your denied orgasm from before. His hand gives a hard slap on your sensitive clit, making you arch and flinch. Your pussy flutters, gripping him tighter.

“Shhh, I am doing a favor here” he mutters, yanking your head back, forcing you to look at the news while his pounding grew more erratic, intensifying wet and flesh-hitting sounds. His voice is loud in your ears, muffling other sounds, overwhelming as his cock keeps making rough thrusts into you with every word - to punctuate them. “Keeping you here, taking care of useless you that can’t do anything right”

He buries himself deep again, pausing again to relish in the feeling of his cock filling you, while your wet walls engulf him nicely - like a drug, inviting him to stay there and never pull away. Slick drips down your thighs, and his nose brushes behind your ear before nibbling on the soft cartilage. His hand gives another light slap on your pussy, the tightness of your walls almost makes him cum.

“Maybe a baby, what do you think about it, mm?” The idea makes him throb, sliding in and out more erratically. As if he cares about your opinion right now, his fingers tug your hair harder, but his words make you flinch harder. Tears prick behind your eyelids.

“No-no-no. You can’t cum inside, no!” He is not wearing a condom. Bad, too bad. Begging comes out naturally for you now, in between your moans. Fear coats your voice, as the idea sets in quickly - being trapped here cause of an unfortunate kid. “Not the baby! Leon, please! I’ll be good, please!”

“Of course, I can. Shut up. You like this” Leon hisses, keeping your head in a firm hold, so your eyes are set on the old photo. It doesn’t feel right, but you can’t stop yourself from making noises, shifting so Leon would hit a better angle. This somewhat combines with a shame, at every hint of it your mind shoves it away. “You can’t look at yourself, too bad. Dripping even more after my words, like a whore.“

Wanting to cum, focusing more on the pleasure of his dick filling your hole - feels so wrong, but good. Like your body shouldn’t enjoy how Leon’s hips keep pounding into your soaked cunt, hitting the pudgy spot and making you repeat his name like a prayer, but your own mind and body are the biggest enemy, betraying you. His own balls tighten, as a reminder of his so soon approaching orgasm.

“You love me right, baby?” Leon whispers, voice coming out breathy and brushing against your ear shell. His calloused fingers crawl back to your clit, flicking and rubbing it roughly and unsteadily. Trying to keep the feeling of that warm tightness sucking in his cock.

“I love you, Leon, o-oh!” you hum, nibbling on the lower lip and arching, letting more noises when his dick hits your sweet spot so sloppily and messy now, chasing his orgasm. And him circling your clit with his calloused fingertips makes your legs tremble - so close to tripping and falling flat on the floor. This makes your mind fuzzy, shoving away the fear of being pregnant. Leon is nice, right? Nice enough to push you against the cold screen of the TV, it doesn’t have its use anymore. That photo faded with the news, after all. “I love you, love you,”

Your voice comes out shaky and high-pitched now. His eyes are set on your disheveled look, with light traces of tears as you repeat the confession erratically, filling his mind with them. Making this normal, you love him, so he can allow himself to not feel so guilty, right? With a final and rough thrust, he buried himself to the hilt, giving chaste and soft kisses to the back of your head. Your body shudders eventually too, your walls spasm harder around him as the hard feeling of orgasm hits you, pleasant shockwaves dumb every bad thought in the head. His cock throbbed, letting a loud groan and finally spurting ropes of cum into you while keeping messy circles on your sensitive clit, prolonging your orgasm and making you more overwhelmed with every flick. The warm essence fills your hole, Leon pulls out his softening cock with a wet pop, watching how his sperm slowly oozes out from your pussy. His mind is light, the hint of booze keeps guilt from emerging.

Words of love don’t feel like a complete lie now, as pleasant memories overwhelm the bad ones. They become almost an empty spot in the back of your mind, leaving only a foggy feeling of hate and dread. And your brain is weak for the bliss, hammering every moment deep in you - craving for more. Hate won’t bring you out of this, maybe affection will. Your hand grips weakly his wrist, you won’t be able to bear the loneliness after sex tonight.

“Don’t leave me” Your mouth is quicker than your mind, not processing anything right now. Leon breaks out in a weak smile, but his gaze isn’t capable of keeping eye contact right now. Still, he scoops you in his arms without a second thought. Remaining silent, feeling your weak body in his hold he can’t help but pepper chaste kisses on your forehead. Trying to prolong the sweet and guiltless moment for you both.

You should have known better than to accept that date with him.

[unreleasedwrites]

A Planned Coincidence (pt. 1) (pt. 2)

"Jackpot."

summary: You took a wrong turn into an alleyway and end up being attacked by a group of men in Mexico. You tried fending them off, when a man suddenly arrives and helps you at the expense of an atrocious and gruesome scene you had to witness. He eventually takes you somewhere filled with men that work under him, and you're stuck with him now.

character(s) included: Gitae Kim x fem!reader

cw: very suggestive, lowk yandere gitae?? kissing, slight noncon kissing and touching at first, a gun, blood, mentions of death, mentions of body parts and cartel, cannibalism (Gitae takes a bite out of fresh flesh but spits it out), cussing, reader is fine w what Gitae is doing!!, Gitae broke into readers hotel, Gitae Kim himself is a warning, implied kidnapping, long, implied stalking, mentions but no uses of drugs, i do not condone any sort of treatment like this in real life, this FICTIONAL!! if you dont like it, then just leave

unwrapped on: Friday Evening, April 19 2024

wrapped up on: Saturday Afternoon, April 20 2024

published on: Saturday Afternoon, April 20 2024

“Did you enjoy the show, little girl?” Gitae said as he turned his gaze over to where you were sat; on the hard floor, bruised up from head to toe. Some were from self defense, some from a group of men who attacked you in an attempt to take you to who knows where and who knows why.

You only nervously looked at him as a response, still mortified at the gruesome scene right in front of you.

You learned of his name, Gitae Kim, when he started a conversation with you— whom he saved from actual death by beating up the guys who were originally assaulting you. You were shocked to witness him fighting, as it was pretty much like nothing to him. Gitae just did it so effortlessly and carelessly, getting blood and parts of their bodies all over the place. At some point, a hand was almost thrown on you until he immediately caught it, all the while still tormenting them with his free hand. As much as you were horrified, he looked way too familiar, as if you’ve seen him a few times before.

“Thanks, Mister—uh, Gitae.. I better get going now, it’s already past 11 o’clock and midnight is approaching any minute now. And again, th-thank you so much, Mister Gitae, Sir..” You spoke as you were visibly shaking in fear from what you just witnessed.

“Leaving me so early? That won’t do, little girl. Not after what I just did for your ass and especially the tight little clothes that you’ve got on.” Gitae replied as he looked at you without a clear emotion written oh his expression. You were so scared that you had tears in your eyes.

“Tearing up so soon? It’s not like I’ve even done anything bad to you, yet.” Gitae said with a strange smile on his face.

You couldn’t read his expression or what he wanted from you. But all you knew was, he was definitely even more trouble than the group of guys from earlier.

Then you saw him picking up one of the fresh flesh of one of the men on the ground, and he took a bite out of it. You looked at him with pure disgust and horrification. “Wh-Why—” was what you managed to stutter out from pure disbelief and terror. Then all of a sudden, he spat it out with a clear expression spread among his face, “Bleghh.” What the hell was that about? You thought to yourself as you slowly got off got off the floor and subtly sneaked away while it seemed like he wasn’t paying any attention.

“Man, I thought he’d be tastier than that. Wasn’t worth staining my clothes and body.” He commented as he turned over to you, whom was nowhere to be found. But it’s not like he thought he lost you or anything, he knew very well you were escaping and just let it happen. He doesn’t mind a little mouse chase after all.

“What the hell did I just fucking witness? What was that..? Did he really take a bite out of tha..” You cut yourself off, exhausted from running as fast as you humanely can towards your hotel. Your bag was still at the gruesome scene with Gitae, you couldn’t risk your entire life to try and take it. Problem is that your wallet was there, however you do have your phone with you so you weren’t really worried about that too much— especially with what you just witnessed, that might’ve been the least of your worries.

“Hagghh.. What if he comes for me..? Am I even safe here or what if he’s watching my every step…” You sighed as you tried to dry your tears and got ready to take a very much needed bath.

You got into the bathub you prepared with a nice scent and relaxing setting, trying to cool yourself down. Still crying from what just happened but trying to stay calm with the intent of tending to your wounds later.

Meanwhile Gitae, who was still in the alleyway you were attacked by the group of men in, saw your little purse on the ground. Slightly open and covered in splashed blood.

Normally, he wouldn’t really care that much about it. But he decided to open it, and he saw your wallet in there along with some of your other belongings like hygienic products and your phone charger.

“Hoho, a wallet with her id and all the information I need to know about her,” he smiled as he looked at your id and the deceased morons in front of his eyes. “Jackpot.”

The following hours after the incident, you decided to just sleep and completely ignored your goal of ‘more exploring, less sleeping.’ That was until you felt a pair of strong arms on your waist, holding you close. At first, you thought it was just a dream until you felt a pair of lips making its way to your jawline, pressing somewhat aggressive kisses, and that’s when you knew that it was no dream.

You slowly opened your eyes and turned your head behind you, only to see the same man, Gitae, from yesterday. In your bed. Holding your waist and was just kissing you. Topless with a pair of jeans.

“Gi-Gitae—?!” How and what the hell are you doing here?!” You said, still sleepy and not a hint of fear in your voice, given that you were brave enough to say that to such a man who was barely inches away from you.

“What do you mean? Isn’t it obvious?” He shrugged a brow, “I’m here to claim my payment and take what’s mine.”

“Payment? You want money? You could’ve just said that!” You said. “Silly little girl, I never said I wanted money from you,” Gitae replied as he held your waist tighter and within just seconds, you were now under him. Pinned to the bed by his strong arms and under his piercing gaze.

“The-Then.. What the hell is it that you want f-from me?!” You tried to resist and escape but it was no use, he wasn’t even trying and was just seemingly laughing at your efforts and attempts.

“Isn’t it obvious already?”

“You want me dead?”

“What? When the fuck did I ever mention that?”

“Cmon’ mister, you never mentioned anything about anything, so how am I supposed to kno-” You were suddenly cut off when he raised his arms from pinning you to the bed and simply sat on the edge of the bed and sat you on his lap.

“You’re so naive, it’s just adorable, F/N.”

“How do you know my name..? I gave you a fake name yesterday!” You taunted as you moved around in his lap, causing him to groan. “A-ah, sorry for moving so much!” You suddenly added when you heard him and felt something poking you from his lap.

“Hoho, you’re so sweet too. Apologizing for riling me up? You’ve been at this since yesterday, sweetheart.” He said in a lower voice.

“What? How have I been doing tha— Hey! You never answered my first question!!”

“Oh the first name thing? You left your wallet with me yesterday, sweetie. You must really be a little girl to not have thought about that.” He said as he pulled out an all too familiar wallet with your id peeking out of it. “What a coincidence, huh?”

“Shit. I forgot about that..”

“Now that we’ve got that out of the way, you’re coming with me, F/N. Do me a favor and cooperate so we don’t have to do this the hard way, mkay sweetheart?” He said with a strange smile.

The next thing you know, you were in a car, some other guy with a bunch of tattoos was driving, completely silent and emotionless. You were at the backseat with Gitae, sat on his lap, facing him, tearing up.

He gave you his leather jacket since you were still in thin sleepwear, a sleeveless thin top and some light short shorts. You thought that was surprisingly nice of him, he may be crazy but atleast he was kind of a gentleman towards you, he carried you around so that you wouldn’t have to walk, he brushed your morning hair, and he even toned down the aggression of his rough, calloused hands when you complained about them.

You eventually got so tired that you fell asleep in his arms, and he closely held you.

When you woke up, you were at a warehouse that absolutely reeked of a strange scent. You didn’t see Gitae around though, but you did see a lot of men in the same warehouse as you, all seemingly looked like a gangster or dealer of some sort. You were very confused and scared of what might just happen to you if you tried leaving, but you decided to try it out anyway. Calmly, you headed towards the open door of the warehouse. But before you could even reach the door, a man held a gun to your throat.

“And where the fuck d’you think you’re going? You trying to get us in trouble?” He spoke in an arrogant tone and eventually took the gun away and dragged you back to the boxes you were on when you woke up.

Shit. What do I do.. You thought to yourself as you saw some of the men seemingly talking about you but in a different language. If you had to guess, it was Spanish, since you are in Mexico after all.

Before you could even think about escaping again, you remembered how familiar Gitae seemed and how it felt like it wasn’t the first time you’ve met him. Yet you can’t seem to figure out where do you know him from and who he was. But you’ve already taken a trip in Mexico in the past, so this was your second time. He really seemed way too familiar, you swear that you’ve seen that exact man during your last trip and it seemed like he was everywhere you were. No matter what tourist spot or hidden, unknown spot you were at, he was also there, at a certain distance. And it felt like he was definitely watching you.

Before you could continue thinking about it, you suddenly overheard shrieks of agony from one of the men, who you assumed were doing something related to drugs, given what you had seen when you woke up. You immediately looked to where the noise came from, and saw that he’d been directly headshot with an axe. It was such a gruesome scene, blank faces were all scattered amongst the men and they had stopped what they were doing to look over to where the noise came from. They proceeded to look at the opposite direction, to which you did too, and saw Gitae. Covered in even more blood than yesterday.

He started speaking, in the same language you couldn’t understand from the men around the warehouse.

You just looked at him blankly, thinking about how familiar he really does look. You heard your name clearly being mentioned from what Gitae was saying and some of the men turned to you.

You looked back at them with a hesitant expression, then back at Gitae— who was know walking towards you.

"Everyone, listen up. This is the girl I mentioned a little over a year ago. I was able to track her down the same week I talked about her and I traced her plans of going to Mexico a second time in the following year, which is now the present." Gitae announced and added,

"Because of the last morons I trusted in trying to kidnap her last year, she was able to get away without even trying. So I decided to do the job myself this time. But make it your guys' job to make sure she wont escape or get into any sort of harm. Unless you wanna end up like him over there, of course." He said as he turned over to the guy he had thrown an axe at.

They all nodded while some just looked at you dead in the eye. Guess you're stuck there now, there is no escaping after all. But don't worry, Gitae is nice occasionally. But most of the time, he's as terrifying as death itself.

Because he's told you some of the tiniest details about what he does and the cartel, he absolutely refuses to let you go and feels as though you already know too much. You're his, and it will stay that way till the end of time.

notes: this is so bad im so sorryedjkewkdewbhdshe we dont really know much about him and i wasnt sure what to do but i really wanted to write about him and get something up since im not too busy atm, im so sorruryge im gonna upload another one soon or today hopefully, either about gun or someone else in my drafts.. also not so fun fact this is my ninth post and i love the number 9 so yay ig ALSOOOOOO I will be uploading a like masterlist and introduction or about me?? post basically like characters i write for and stuff yk the basics!! ANYWAY MY RANT IS OVER have a good day!! FEEL FREE TO REQUEST ANY CHARACTER BTW I DO MOST BUT I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR THE GIRLS EXCEPT MARY KIM!

- With or without proper credits, please don't try to steal or claim any of my works as your own

I genuinely appreciate opinions, feedback, likes, and reblogs

Once again, I hope this isn't too bad for my a character we know not much about, and i'll be doing more characters in lookism!!

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

What do you think about Equius and Eridan's ship? I think this is a pretty entertaining idea (I'm aware that they don't really tolerate each other, but maybe they could share their problems with each other and help each other?)

I won't tell people what they should and shouldn't ship, but it's unsupported by canon & I personally don't think they'd be a good fit for each other, because Equius is kind of a prude who's genuinely made uncomfortable by Eridan's incredibly strong emotional neediness, and Eridan needs attention from his friends and especially romantic partners, which Equius isn't really equipped to provide. But again, if you like it, don't let me stop you!

Uhhh warnings for talking about sexual stuff because unfortunately Equius is just kind of Like That and you can't really discuss him in good faith without getting into it.

Basically, Equius's deal is that he's kind of sheltered. His specific position in the hemocaste means he gets to avoid a lot of the awful shit the other highbloods have to deal with, while still being high enough that he gets to avoid lowblood problems entirely. He doesn't have to worry about being culled or even of having to cull others - at least, not until adulthood - to the point where he's in a position to object to Nepeta killing wild animals. The murder of other real, thinking, breathing people seems like a distant problem for future Equius - not a tangible reality quickly catching up to him.

CT: D --> You e%terminate beautiful, innocent creatures by the hundreds CT: D --> I can't condone such wretched behavior CT: D --> Beasts are meant to be 100ked upon with adoration AC: :33 < but AC: :33 < i eat them! AC: :33 < i dont kill anything i dont eat, that would be mean CT: D --> I guess that's basically acceptable in principle, but I still find it a bit unsavory

He knows that Alternia is dangerous, and that bad, horrible things happen to other people (I mean, he's neighbors with Vriska lmao), but he has the privilege of simply electing not to participate, and that's the solution he keeps presenting to Nepeta: don't talk to the lowbloods, because they'll harm you, don't talk to the highbloods, because they'll harm you, and don't play their dangerous games. I mean, it works for him!

CT: D --> The thought of you fraternizing with and abetting those stink-b100ded h001igans strikes me as scandal beyond measure CT: D --> I'm afraid you're too delicate to withstand that sort of corruption

EQUIUS: D --> Yes, which is among the reasons why I must make your prote%ion a high priority EQUIUS: D --> The highb100d has joined a stable of those who are becoming increasingly volatile and murderous as we remain stranded in this laboratory EQUIUS: D --> I command you to steer clear of them, do you understand

He has a kindly lusus who takes very good care of him, met his soulmate very early on, has a neighbor/friend he gets along with pretty well, and gets to spend basically all of his free time pursuing his hobbies and interests with no pressing duties or responsibilities to distract him. As far as is possible on Alternia, he's lived a charmed and peaceful life.

Now, although I'm going to make the caveat early that he's not actually that casteist, Equius is still the most casteist member on the team, short of post-corruption!Gamzee. The fact that he's sheltered is one of the primary reasons for this: he's never had a reason to question casteism, because casteism has always been pretty correct in his book, and he's never had the need nor impetus to question it any further than that. After all, lowbloods DO wind up getting themselves into horrible situations, and highbloods DO tend to be murderous, dangerous assholes. This is just The Way Things Are, right?

For more specific examples, the Team Charge debacle - which Equius had to know about because he's the one who patched Vriska up afterwards - ended with Tavros unable to walk and Aradia "broken" (most of the team didn't know she was dead until they entered the game; Terezi tells Vriska she thinks "whatever Vriska did to her" must've broken her brain somehow since she was never the same since). Meanwhile, the two highbloods really only got injured by each other. In Equius's eyes, this would've reinforced his views: lowbloods live dangerous lives wrought by their inherent degeneracy, and always suffer worse for it, while highbloods are unstable and violent, but ultimately faultless and unpunishable except by each other.

He also - again - is Vriska's neighbor, and Vriska's psionics work best on lowbloods, so that's the vast majority of who she brings in for her lusus to eat. The two most crass people on the team are also Karkat and Sollux - the latter of which is very much a lowblood, while the former regularly throws himself in with the "gutter bloods"; the fact that they swear and make sex jokes genuinely freaks Equius out, since he's a sheltered little noble boy who refuses to say cuss words.

EQUIUS: D --> For pete's goodfornothing di%ie whistling SA%ES, Nepeta

So with Equius, we see how unexamined and uninterrogated privilege and sheltering can lead to genuinely harmful beliefs. Equius's feelings come from a good place: he sees all these poor lowbloods dying and suffering, and all these high bloods doing horrific, scary shit, and he instinctively knows that something is wrong and the world they live in is dangerous - or else he wouldn't be trying to protect Nepeta from it. He knows that because she's lower than he is on the hemospectrum, she's much more at risk than he is of something terrible happening to her, so as much as possible, he tries to keep her away from engaging with the rest of society.

CT: D --> Well, green b100d is ok, but it's not great CT: D --> But that's why you're lucky to have me to 100k out for you CT: D --> Because you don't know better, and you can't fight the role the mother had in store for you

But because he's had no reason to challenge or question the casteist beliefs he was taught, the horrific stuff he witnesses actually reinforces them. In an attempt to make sense out of the terrible world he lives in, he falls back on the easy answers, the ones he's been repeatedly told since he was a child: lowbloods suffer because they are inherently "worse" than highbloods, and highbloods are inherently "better," so they're allowed to indulge all their most violent and horrific impulses and it's not actually a problem. He's comfortable with his reality; why isn't everybody else?

So um, that brings us to the sex stuff. Basically, because Equius is so sheltered, he doesn't realize that he has a massive BDSM kink, and kind of a voyeurism kink, and that a lot of the gratification and pleasure he feels from indulging in them are... um......... "that kind" of gratification and pleasure. To be honest, I think if someone genuinely levelled with him and pointed it out, he'd have a mental breakdown over it. Because, like, at his core, Equius is a polite, kind, helpful guy. There's a reason he listens to Karkat same as the rest of the team, why he helps with Tavros's robot legs, why Nepeta even likes him so much. A lot of his worst aspects just stem from the fact that he's conflating his desire to be stepped on with the hemocaste being an inescapable, correct reality.

He's basically this post lol:

So about specifically him and Eridan, like. We actually have Equius's outright stated opinion on Eridan.

CG: YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT, I DON'T GET IT CG: YOU KISS THE GROUND THIS LUNATIC WALKS ON BECAUSE HE HAS PURPLE BLOOD CG: BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP YOU FROM RIPPING ON ERIDAN, I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU DON'T LIKE HIM CG: AND HIS BLOOD IS EVEN PURPLIER, ISN'T IT? CT: D --> Yes CT: D --> That's different CT: D --> He is a sea dweller CT: D --> Our feud is codified in tradition CT: D --> Neigh, we are obligated to be at odds CT: D --> It's dignified ... CG: THE POINT IS, IF YOU SEE HIM, WOULD YOU MIND SNAPPING HIS STUPID WAND IN HALF OR SOMETHING? CG: AND THEN CHOKE HIM TO DEATH WITH HIS OWN SHITTY PRETENTIOUS SCARF. CT: D --> Do I really have to CG: GOD, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM NOW? CT: D --> I'd prefer not to interact with him CG: WHY CT: D --> It's primarily that his advances make me uncomfortable

See, Eridan... is not really Equius's type. And I can see why! Equius places a lot of importance on decorum and a100fness. Here's him basically telling Gamzee about why he's attracted to Gamzee and Aradia:

CT: D --> See, that's what I mean CT: D --> How is it possible for one of your distin%ion to be so ignorant CT: D --> And loathesome CT: D --> Whereas CT: D --> A member of the most abject, verminous b100dline of all CT: D --> Can conduct herself with such grace and possess nothing but admirable mannerisms CT: D --> I find these striking ju%tapositions perple%ing, and I confess strangely into%icating

He hates that Gamzee acts dumb and friendly, and wants him to be mean and commanding - and is probably lowkey picking up on the fact that Gamzee DOES have that within him, although he's hiding it. At the same time, he's weirdly attracted to how Aradia is aloof, intelligent, and strong-willed, despite being the lowest possible caste. Basically, Equius wants a pretty classically cultured dom to put him in his place - bonus points if caste-play is involved, whether it's a higher caste acting in accordance to their position on the spectrum, or a lower caste degrading him to a point below themselves.

So, initially, you'd think that Eridan would actually be his ideal for such a position, land dweller/sea dweller feud notwithstanding. After all, Eridan is all about acting like a traditional sea dweller, talking up his nobility and how much better he is than the lower castes, wanting the land dwellers dead/in their place, etc. etc.

But that's where we hit a snag. Eridan is pretending. He's pretending in the opposite direction of Gamzee, in fact. Where Gamzee is genuinely quite mean and nasty, but masking that in an attempt to get along better with his friends, Eridan is actually pretty - well, "nice" is the wrong word, but he's desperately presenting himself as meaner and more casteist than he actually is.

Equius wants to be effortlessly dominated, but Eridan puts in 110% at all times. Equius wants someone who upholds the caste system, and Eridan is actually totally indiscriminate when hitting on people because he actually doesn't give a shit about class differences. Equius wants someone who commands respect, but Eridan is kind of the team laughingstock. Also Eridan swears in proportion to his dialogue second only to Karkat.

Eridan's emotional desperation, disregard for the caste system, and cringefail antics are all massive turnoffs for Equius, and in a lot of ways, genuinely kind of scare him. I mean, again, Equius is a sheltered little noble boy who's made uncomfortable by cussing or killing animals for meat - and here's Eridan, one of the team's biggest murderers, genuinely obsessed with death and genocide, mouth of a sailor, willing to shoot his shot with anyone on the hemospectrum. Equius gets along better with Karkat, and Karkat's not even ON the hemospectrum.

It wouldn't even be pitch or ashen hatred to me, because Equius doesn't object to Eridan, morally or ethically - he just finds Eridan uncomfortable to be around, and prefers not to interact with him if he can help it. And that's really bad for Eridan, because Eridan's basically a huge emotional wreck and has a pretty fundamental need for emotional support and attention from his romantic partners - I've touched on it before, I think when I talked about him and Tavros, but Eridan has a genuine anxiety attack when Vriska accidentally ghosts him (because she's mercy killing her lusus), and I really don't think it would be good for him if he were to become emotionally attached to the guy whose whole Thing is standing in the background and watching without interacting.

As for discussing their problems... like, that's kind of the thing? They don't actually have overlapping problems. Eridan's issues primarily stem from the pressures his position on the hemocaste have placed on him, whereas Equius has actually actively benefited from and enjoyed his position in that class structure. Like, even if they tried to share notes on their respective character arcs about shirking the shitty things Alternia imposed on them, it'd be like,

EQUIUS: D--> Did you know that one's position in the hemospe%rum has little to no bearing on their moral integrity or worth as a person ERIDAN: are you a fuckin idiot eq

ERIDAN: guess all that obsessin ovver murder wwas a huge fuckin wwaste ERIDAN: and didnt do me no good nor anybody else for that matter EQUIUS: D--> Well EQUIUS: D--> Yeah

Even if we try to bring in things that aren't strictly related to being a high blood and what that means on Alternia - like if we run with the idea that Eridan's lusus contributed to Eridan's shitty childhood - well, unfortunately, Equius can't relate. Aurthour was incredibly kind to Equius growing up and he loved Aurthour dearly. So on and so forth.

And, uh... this is kind of weird to say, but despite how forward Eridan is about romance, he's actually... kind of reserved, sexually? He doesn't crack sex jokes and his fixation on romantic relationships is more about the act of being in a relationship than about what they do in that relationship. His date ideas are pretty straightforward and traditional, because he tends to prioritize "doing a good job" and "living up to the standard" over how he actually feels or his own personal interests.

What I'm saying is, Equius's horniness would probably make Eridan uncomfortable. Especially before Equius realizes that he's just got massive kinks that he should probably keep under control - which is basically the entire comic - Equius tends to prioritize what they do in a relationship over the act of actually being in a relationship. In fact, he'd probably be just as happy to get domm'd by Gamzee or Aradia even if they weren't actually dating. That's a kind of freedom and trueness to one's desires that Eridan can't manage; moreover, because Eridan tends to prioritize "doing a good job", he's pretty willing to go along with whatever his partner wants - which, in Equius's case, means Eridan doing more of the thing that's actively harmed them both. And I just don't think that that'd be good for Eridan.

So, yeah, overall, not a good fit for each other, but again, don't let me stop you!

The most interesting arrangement of Eridan and Equius, to me personally, is the fact that I think Eridan and Nepeta would actually be pretty good friends once they started talking (and Eridan got a moirail). Nepeta is the Anti-Casteism troll, the only one to outright state that she believes blood color shouldn't matter, and Eridan's whole deal is being less casteist than he pretends to be, to the point of genuinely being the least casteist highblood. And they both RP and hunt for stuff.

However, if there's any example of "dangerous highblood" on the team before Gamzee snaps, it's Eridan, and Equius has pretty deep concern for Nepeta's safety, which actually sometimes comes at Nepeta's detriment. It wouldn't escalate to pitch or ashen, but I really like the idea of the two of them having an antagonistic relationship because Equius does NOT want Nepeta interacting with this insane murderer, while Eridan is like, bro, let the kitty cat cave shipper girl decide for herself, and Nepeta is like, why must boys fight.

[totheblood]

imagine me & you. (one)

pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie is the florist for your wedding, and you wonder is love at first sight is real and if it is the universe hates your guts

warnings: occasional cursing, suggestive themes, angst/pining, could this be considered infidelity? maybe?, drug/alcohol usage/mention, you marry a man i apologize

a/n: AI AUDIOS AT THE END this is a series i'm writing that is completely based on the movie "imagine me and you" which is a phenomenal lesbian romcom... i would suggest that everyone watches it but i dont want the series to be spoiled for you.. this is sugar sweet fluff and i think is overall really cute. I DONT CONDONE CHEATING! this fic is.... a gray area tho so.. enjoy! I would greatly appreciate any reblogs, comments, asks you have about this chapter. thank you for supporting me through this journey!

This was the best day of your life. 

The chapel was adorned with flowers, the smell of tulips heavy in the air. The streamers were hung between each seat with careful detail, just as you had planned it months ago. You could hear the quiet chatter among guests, all beautifully dressed for the occasion, and at the end of the aisle stood your best friend. This was the day your best friend became your husband.

You had met Sully in your first year of college when his best friend, Ezra, began dating your best friend, Tara. While Tara and Ezra’s relationship was short-lived, you and Sully had something nearly impossible to break. He provided a kind of comfort that only came with knowing someone as long as you had, and a promise of a life that you imagined for yourself. 

You were in love with him, you knew this. This fact had never even come into question. You were sure of your decision every step of the way and you were positive that your walk down the aisle would be the easiest thing you had done in your lifetime. 

The only thing that made you nervous was the fact that everyone had their eyes on you. As the doors opened and it was finally your turn to make your way down the aisle, you knew that this was the first day of the rest of your life, but not for the reasons you expected.

Prior to the start of the wedding, Ellie was already having a shit day. Her supplier hadn’t arrived with the shipment of tulips she needed for the shop that day and it was just her luck that her last batch was already loaded in the truck for your wedding. Dina had assured her that she would call and bitch out the supplier until he delivered them, but something was still unsettled in her gut. Reluctantly, she relinquished her power to Dina for the day and made her way over to your venue to set up early.

It was the silent morning that Ellie loved the most. The air was crisp with anticipation of what was about to happen, the quiet echoed chapel that would soon be filled with celebratory cheers and applause. The idea that eternal love may exist soothed her, but only temporarily.

Ellie had found herself in somewhat of a dry spell, her only intimate interactions being with her pillow. It wasn’t something that necessarily stressed her out, but it was something that she thought about often. It wasn’t that it bothered her either, she was simply growing impatient for her chance to have this kind of celebration of love. It is legal now, she reminded herself. 

As the time for the wedding grew closer, Ellie found that she was in over her head. She assumed she would be able to finish decorating by the time guests started to arrive, so she could slip out unnoticed and no one would see her in her overalls, but she admittedly had paid too much attention to detail. It was no secret that she was a perfectionist, but she knew it would cost her.

Her anxiety only grew more and more as people started to arrive and sit in the aisles that she still was yet to decorate. By the grace of whatever was out there, she finished with little time to spare and had begun collecting her things but was stopped by who she assumed was a groomsman. 

“Hi, you must be Ellie, the florist.” He reached out his hand, a broad smile on his face. His eyes were a stark blue and his face was perfectly symmetrical. He oozed confidence and Ellie could tell that he had never faced a day of rejection in his life. She had a feeling this was about to change.

“What gave it away? The flowers or my overalls?” She joked, reaching her gloved hand out to shake his, a polite laugh escaping from his lips. 

“It was actually your indescribable beauty. I don’t know… I heard a thing about florists being hot. I’m Ezra, by the way.” Ellie wanted to scoff, throw up, do anything that would signify she wasn’t interested in the man before her, but more than that she wanted her tip. 

“Wonder where you heard that. Didn’t see that article in this month's Florist’s Monthly.” She joked back, her sickly sweet grin still painted on her face.

“Well, just wanted to introduce myself. Hope you're staying for the reception?” He questioned, moving back after the pace of the room began to change. It was becoming evident the wedding was about to start and he needed to be in his place. 

“It’s my job to be there so… I’ll be there.” She sighed, picked up the bucket that had scrap flowers in it, and began making her way down the side of the chapel, careful to not draw any attention to her. Ellie had never stayed this long before, she had never gotten the opportunity to watch the bride walk down the aisle and curiosity was getting the best of her. As she tried to sneak away, she attempted to get one glance at the girl about to be married. 

As you made your way down the floral-lined carpet, a line was tugged on your heart. Something inside of you was telling you to look to the left. So you did. It was almost as if time stopped for a moment as you caught a glimpse of the girl. Her hair was half pinned up, little strands of hair framing her face, her lips in an adoring smile. She was all-encompassing. This is what you imagined love at first sight to feel like. It’s what you would have imagined love at first sight to feel like if it wasn’t your wedding day.

Ellie had to stop when she saw you, your beauty overwhelming her. She was sure all brides looked this beautiful on their wedding day, but she was also unsure of that at this moment. It was an almost impossible idea that someone on this earth could look more beautiful than you did at that moment. It made her heart drop to the pit of her stomach, even more so when she saw the comforting smile on your face drop as you locked eyes and you quickly turned away. Ellie assumed you hadn’t recognized her and became confused so she quickly and quietly made her way out of the venue.

When you turned back around to get one last look at her, she was gone. You were almost sure she was simply a figment of your imagination, an ethereal dream that you had hallucinated, but what you felt was real. Almost too real.

The wedding went off without a hitch, fulfilling every dream you had for yourself. As you kissed your now husband you felt a great sense of relief, the pit in your stomach from earlier being filled. Whatever feeling you felt when you and the florist locked eyes was now becoming a distant memory. The only thing you could think of was that you had done it, and completed this task. This was what love felt like. Right? 

As the reception went on and the guests were full of liquor and good music, Ellie found herself wanting to introduce herself to you, as she did with every bride. She pushed past warm bodies till she found you hunched over the punch bowl, a ladle in your hands. 

“Hi,” She began, causing you to drop the ladle and turn towards her. She stood with her arms by her side and a gentle smile on her face. She seemed calm. Warm. Inviting.

“Hi.” You replied, moving to stand in front of the punch bowl, a smile gracing your face.

“We- um, we haven’t met. I’m Ellie.” She introduced herself. She smiled as you simply responded with your name. 

“I did your flowers.” She stated, assuming you were unsure of who she was. 

“You did?” You breathed, your shoulders relaxing. “My flowers are nice.” 

“Anyways, I was just going to get a-” Ellie pointed at the punch behind you, moving towards it but was stopped by your body standing moving in front of it, blocking it from her view.

“Drink.” Ellie said, suspiciously, brows furrowed in confusion as you gave her a nervous laugh.

“I wouldn’t.” You remarked through your laughs, slightly shaking your head.

“Wh- Is there something wrong?” Ellie questioned, unsure of what was happening right now. “I’m here to help.”  She watched as you blinked for a second and your smile fell. 

“My ring.” You told her as you turned around and picked up the ladle again, looking down into the punch. Ellie was at your side, watching as you stirred the red liquid, a smile back on your face. “I was getting some of this punch crap and-”

“Your wedding ring?” Ellie laughed, stealing a glance at your focused face.

“It fell off.” You giggled, a sound that made Ellie’s cheeks redden. “Off and in there. My wedding ring is in there.” You turned to her, the side of your lips curved downwards into an upside-down smile. You were impossibly close to her.

“And you tried the ladle?” Ellie questioned, humor in her voice. 

“Nothing.” You shook your head, a huge grin still on your face.

“And you can’t empty-” Ellie shook her head, her internal monologue running rampant. “No, it's too big. Um, alright.” Ellie’s mind almost short-circuited when you laughed at her manic raving.

“Only one thing to do.” Ellie simply stated. “Cover me.”

“What?” You question, staring at her, confusion written all over your face.

“Use the dress, I’m going in.” Ellie answered, rolling up the sleeves of her shirt before pulling you by the waist in front of her. She tried not to be distracted by your consistent laughing, but reality shook her as she reached her hand into the punch bowl.

You stood in front of her keeping watch but quickly became alert when another guest began making his way over to you.

Moving to stand in front of him and Ellie, you looked up at him and gave him your friendliest smile. Clearing your throat you offered the man a polite, “Hello.”

“They say white’s the color of virgins… if I know Sully the only thing virgin around here is the olive oil.” He commented smugly, reaching next to you to pick up a plastic cup. Ellie couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she fished around in the punch. What makes this guy think he can just-

“The old jokes really are the best aren’t they?” You quipped sarcastically, a groan nearly slipping from your lips. Ellie was laughing to herself at the sound of your annoyed tone and body being in such close proximity to hers.

“I’m Dennis. Sully works underneath me but not in the biblical sense.” He reached out and shook your hand, unwarranted confidence coming off him in waves. Just at that moment, Ellie felt the circular metal between her fingertips and pulled it out victoriously.

“You’re just like he described.” You told the man, it being painfully obvious (to no one but him) that you didn’t mean that as a compliment. Behind you, Ellie shook the juice off the ring and tapped the exposed skin of your upper arm, causing you to put your left hand behind your back, right in Ellie’s view. Carefully, Ellie slipped the ring on your ring finger, its rightful place, and found herself beside you again. 

“Now, I need booze.” Dennis remarked as he picked up the ladle and scooped some punch into his cup. If it was anyone else, you would have stopped him. But it wasn’t.

“Hi.” Ellie made herself known to the man. 

“Hi.” He replied. Ellie tried to ignore the way he looked her up and down.

“This is Ellie.” You said, a proud smile on your face. “She’s a florist”

“Name’s Dennis. But you can call me anything you’d like.” He outstretched his hand to Ellie, a dumbstruck look on his face. Ellie’s drenched hand gripped his as if she was punishing him for his behavior.

“And I’m sure I will.” Ellie smiled, holding back her laughter as he pulled his hand away and shook the sticky liquid off his hand.

The wedding was as eventful as any wedding could be. Family members were getting drunk, Ezra was flirting with as many people as he could, and you were wrapped up in Sully’s arms. The music had mellowed out and people had found their way back to their assigned tables, ready to eat. Everyone began eating, only looking up when Sully stood up, prepared to make a speech. 

You listened as he went on about how long he had waited for this day, how much he adored you, and the future he envisioned for the two of you. You wanted to relish in all the attention and love he was showering you in, but your mind continued to travel back to Ellie and the brief moment you shared with her. Ellie was most likely miles away by now, but that didn’t stop you from envisioning her there in the crowd. 

You were starting to feel guilty about it too. While your husband was boasting about how you were the best thing to happen to him, you were fantasizing about the girl you had just who you were almost sure was your soulmate. There was a thickness in your throat that only grew as Ezra described how he and Ellie had ‘hit it off’ and how he was going to ask her out. It shouldn’t have upset you but you did.

The following week your mind was still on Ellie. She hadn’t reached out after the wedding, but you were also unsure of why she would do something like that. It wasn’t like there was any specific reason for her to call you, but you still waited by the phone like she would. 

It felt like a regular day for Ellie, she reached the shop early and was finishing setting up. She had just opened the doors when a man had hurried in with a frantic look on his face. 

 “Hello.” She greeted the man, wiping the dirt from her hands on the apron wrapped around her waist. 

“Hi. You’ve got to help me.” He exclaimed frantically. “I need a flower. Just one. A good one. The best!” He watched as she continued to move things around the shop. 

“Okay.” Ellie said in her calmest voice, attempting to appease the man. 

“This is my last chance. My last chance flower.” He told her, looking around at the various flowers on display. 

“Your last chance?” Ellie questioned, finally giving her full attention to the man.

“I really fucked up. Only the right flower can save me.” He explained. “What about a rose? A red rose. What would that say?” He pointed to the basket of red roses sitting on the table.

“Love.” Ellie shrugged.

“Love’s nice.” The man thought out loud.

“And fidelity.” Ellie added. 

“Not a red rose, then.” The man pushed past the roses and continued looking. 

“No, not a red rose at all. It’s too obvious.” Ellie agreed with him, eager to make a sale. “If this really is your last chance we need to make it something spectacular.” Ellie moved to the other side of the shop and examined what she had in stock. There was a slight knock at the door, but Ellie didn’t look up, focused on the task at hand. 

“Be right with you.” She told the unknown guest. 

“That’s fine.” You spoke, your voice causing her to stand up straight. You had a pink scarf wrapped around your neck and your hair pulled back. You had this glow to you that only came with what Ellie assumed was natural beauty. Almost suddenly the air in the shop was much lighter. 

“Hi.” She breathed, smiling back at you.

“Hey.” 

“How are you doing?” Ellie asked.

“Good,” you shrugged your shoulders. “Great.” You corrected yourself.

“I just,” you began again but were cut off by the man making his way out the open door behind you to look at the flowers that were placed outside the shop. “Came by to say thanks.” You smiled, awkwardly putting your hands in your pockets.

“It was a total pleasure,” Ellie told you, her voice soft. She stared at you for a beat, almost forgetting what she was doing before you came in. “Listen, sorry, I’m just dealing with-” She pointed to the man outside scanning the flowers.

“Oh, of course. Go right ahead.” You blurted out, moving away from the door so she could tend to the man outside. 

The man looked at you through the window, smiling upon seeing your face. “What’s your favorite flower?” He asked, making you blink at him. 

“I don’t know, I think I like tulips.” You replied, giving him the kindest smile you could muster.

“They’re wrong.” He said, finger in the air as he continued to muck about. He made his way back into the store as Ellie pulled a long, colorful flower from one of the silver buckets attached to the wall.

“What about this?” Ellie asked him, showing him the exotic flower she had in her hands. “Bird of paradise.”

“Keep talking.” He instructed her. 

“Real name ‘Strelitzia’. Named after Charlotte of Strelitz. She married King George the third and had 15 kids. They never spent more than an hour apart.” She explained, looking towards you to see the grin you were hiding on your face.

“Okay, stop talking.” The man said as he abruptly left the store. 

“Do you want to come to dinner?” You asked her, just as abruptly.

“ ‘m sorry?” She asked, confused by the tone this conversation carried.

“Dinner, with us. Me and Sully.” You clarified, her chest deflating a little. You watched as an unreadable expression clouded her face, suddenly feeling embarrassed by the question. “I mean you don’t have to-”

“I’d love to.” Ellie cut you off, her heart blooming as she watched your smile grow.

“Really?” You asked sounding surprised. “This Friday?”

“Yeah, Friday. Why not?” Ellie nodded, unsure of why she was agreeing to this.

“Great. I’ll just write down-” You moved to write down your address on a card you saw sitting on the counter. 

“Perfect!” The man from earlier screamed, walking back in with a cactus shaped like a dick in his hands. “This is the one.” 

You and Ellie both couldn’t help but laugh.

Friday came around sooner than expected. You had spent the entire day cooking, dancing around the kitchen, and cleaning up the apartment. When you told Sully about the dinner party you were hosting, he decided that it would be best to invite Ezra since he and Ellie presumably ‘hit it off’ at the wedding. Admittedly, that made you want to not only pull your hair out but also Sully’s. Instead, you simply thanked him for being so thoughtful and tried your best to make it seem like you were impartial. 

The place was decorated to the nines. There stood long colored candles lit on the table, new spring placemats laid out, and bright pink tulips in a vase at the center of the table. You would never say it out loud, but the tulips were there for Ellie.

You hadn’t realized how much time had passed since you began cooking, but the sun was setting and Sully was already dressed for the guests. He sauntered into the kitchen, talking about how much he hated his job and threatening to quit for the sixth time that week. 

“You say that every day, baby.” You told him, stirring the pot before pulling the spoon out, swiping your finger on it, and tasting the sauce. It was perfect. 

“I know, but this time I mean it.” He told you, walking up behind you and placing a kiss on your cheek. 

“Do you like Ellie?” You asked randomly.

“Yeah, sure. She seems nice enough. I mean Ezra likes her.” He responded, walking around the kitchen island. 

“Ezra likes anything with a pulse.” You reminded him causing him to laugh. 

“That’s true.” He smiled to himself. “But if you want her to stick around why are you introducing her to him.” 

“It wasn’t my idea. You know this.” You said, pulling the breadsticks out of the oven. 

“Oh, right.” was all he said before he popped a grape into his mouth from the bowl sitting on the kitchen island. You were about to scold him for spoiling his dinner but your thoughts were cut off by the ringing of the bell. 

“That should be Ellie. Get the door please.” You instructed him.

“On it, boss.” He popped another grape in his mouth before opening the door for Ellie. 

“Hey, Ellie. Nice to see you.” He greeted, stepping back so Ellie could make her way into the apartment. 

“Hey. I didn’t know what you drank, or if you drank, so I just made punch.” She smiled, handing the bottle to Sully. From the kitchen, you were blushing at the reminder of your first meeting.

“Thank you. She will love this.” He thanked her watching as you came up beside him. Instinctively, he put a hand around your shoulders.

“Hi.” You smiled at her. The air was thick between the two of you and there was an awkward silence. Ellie blinked at you. You looked as good as you did the first time she saw you. It always startled her how her pulse raced in your presence.

“Come look at our new sofa.” You told her, removing yourself from Sully’s grip as you led her into the living room. 

“Expensive new couch.” Sully corrected you.

“Can’t put a price on comfort,” Ellie told Sully, smiling as she plopped down on the couch. 

“A girl after my own heart.” You smiled down at Ellie, watching as her cheeks blushed once again. Sully sat down next to her, handing the bottle of punch over to you. 

“Do you believe in reincarnation? It’s just that my lover here thinks that you two have met before.” Sully asked Ellie, causing you to send a dirty look his way. 

“That’s not what I-” You started.

“I think I would have remembered.” Ellie said smoothly, eyes fixed on you. You ignored the way your heart picked up speed and your face grew with warmth.

“Well, I’m going to put this in the kitchen. You two talk.” You hurried away, checking yourself in the mirror before heading back into the kitchen.

On the couch, Ellie fiddled with her fingers as she examined the room around her. It was bright and well-decorated. She could tell that every piece in here was handpicked by you and it made her feel more at ease as she and Sully made small talk. 

“Anyway. How about you? Married?” He questioned. Ellie was unsure of how the conversation had led here but she so desperately wanted you to come back. “Ever been married? Ever gonna be married?” He continued to press her.

“Uh, no, no, and maybe now the laws have changed.” She chuckled as she watched the confusion cloud his face, leaning back on the couch.

“What do you mean?” Sully questioned.

“I’m gay.” Ellie flatly responded. Sully let out a laugh, before humming to himself. He didn’t know what to do in these situations.

“Lovely. Well-done.” He told Ellie, cringing at himself. Luckily, Ezra’s arrival had saved him some embarrassment. 

The dinner went on as well as you’d expected. Ezra consistently hitting on Ellie, Sully attempting to tell Ezra that Ellie was gay, and numerous stolen glances between you and Ellie all occurred within the half-hour you were sitting there.

Somehow the conversation drifted to how much of a player Ezra was, earning small laughs from the whole group.

“Well, that’ll all change when you meet Mrs.Right.” You told him, pushing your food around on your plate with your fork.

“And how am I supposed to know when I do that? Hm?” Ezra questioned, looking straight at you.

“You don’t know. Not straight away, anyways. It just feels warm, and comfortable, and you hang in there and give it a chance. Before you know it, you’re like yeah, this is it.” You were unsure if you were trying to convince him or yourself, but Sully was smiling at you from across the table so you found comfort in that. “Must be love.”

“Yeah, I’m with you.” Sully agreed.

“Yeah, I’m with her too.” Ezra chimed in.

“I don’t agree.” Ellie blurted out, causing everyone to look at her. “I think you know immediately. You know as soon as your eyes…” She was staring intently at you as her voice trailed off and she averted her gaze from you. “Then everything that happens from then on just proves that you had been right in that first moment.” Her eyes met yours again. It was almost as if she was speaking directly to you.

“When you suddenly realized you had been incomplete and now you are whole.” She finished, her eye contact with you making something inside you stir. You were staring back at you, mouth hanging open. It was almost as if she saw through you at that moment and it made you wonder if she had been feeling the same way. Whatever you were feeling, she had felt too. 

“Nevermind, I’m actually with her.” Ezra spoke up, breaking you out of your trance.

“Me too.” Sully laughed. “Okay, who’s ready for desser-”

“No.” You stated.

“No?” Ellie questioned. 

“No, if you think that, then you think that everyone who doesn’t have all that business is just settling for less.” You argued, unsure if you were trying to defend what you had with Sully.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying.” Ellie corrected you.

“That kind of is what you’re saying.” You fought back.

“I think she said it a tiny bit nicer.” Ezra quipped in. 

“Cheesecake, anyone?” Sully said, bringing the cheesecake in from the kitchen.

The night carried on after that. You began to help Sully clean the dishes, but he insisted that he and Ezra should do it since you cooked dinner. You watched as Ellie made her way through the hallway, and out to the terrace, bringing her umbrella with her. Quietly you followed her, unsure of what your endgame was. You tightly wrapped your sweater around you, the chill from outside seeping through the walls. Ellie was sat on the edge of your terrace, staring out into the city. You watched her for a moment, content with just looking at her.

“What are you doing?” You called out from inside, causing her to turn her head and smile at you.

“It’s gorgeous,” Ellie told you, turning her head slightly towards the city beneath her.

“It’s raining.” You reminded her, the smile that was permanently on around her only growing. 

Ellie closed her umbrella and ran back inside next to you. Watching you as you closed the door shut behind her. You both stood there for a moment watching the rain pour from the warmth inside. 

“Sully won't come up here.” You blurted out. “He says there is a subconscious fear that you’ll throw yourself off, but he freaks when I get close to the edge too.”

Ellie remained quiet, smiling gently at you.

“Sorry about dinner.” You apologized for the tiny freakout you had.

“I’ve eaten worse.” Ellie laughed, trying to show you that she had no hard feelings toward you.

“I kind of went off.” You sighed, crossing your arms in front of you.

“You didn’t go off,” Ellie assured you gently, looking back at you with your eyebrows raised. “Okay, you went a little way off.” 

This time you both turned toward each other, the air once again thick between the two of you.

“You’re wet.” You said simply as you rubbed the water off her clothes. Ellie’s breath caught in her throat as you touched her.

“I’m fine.” Ellie laughed.

“And you’re cold.” You told her, pulling off your cardigan and beginning to wrap it around her shoulders.

“I’m fine.” She plead again, reaching for your wrist as you attempted to put your sweater on her.

“You can have it, really.” You told her. 

“I’m fine.” She said once more, finally giving up and you wrapped her in the sweater, pulling her close. If this was anyone else she would have kissed you right then and there. But you were you, and you were married. 

“Hey, what are you guys up to?” Sully called from downstairs, once again breaking the moment the two of you were sharing. 

Ellie took a step back away from you. This was a feeling she was unfamiliar with and that’s what scared her the most. She knew that you were going to be the death of her.

ai audios:

[yan-randomfandom]

Hello! Call me Yan (any prns), and I'm honestly here to satisfy my cravings as a writer 😔

♪ REQUEST STATUS: OPEN—Although please understand if I was unable to answer yours!

WHAT DO I WRITE?

x reader, my beloved i dont use y/n tho

Yandere. There are times I won't write yandere, but it's my blog's main trait.

Please read at your own risk. There will be warnings at the start of the chap!

Headcanons, one shots, and drabbles

Mostly SFW — Sexual themes are mild at most. I do not write smut.

My account is multifandom. I am in multiple fandoms, so expect my content to be different every once in a while!

☕support me on kofi!

MASTERLIST... LIST

PART I: Masterlist

Keep reading if u wanna request!

SO, YOU'RE AN ANON

You can name yourself as an anon! It's a nickname of sorts

Feel free to use a name even if it's taken! This is because I hop around fandoms, so anons may come and go, plus it's definitely an easier way to find your request (in tags) 😺

Think of your same-name-anons as like,, wow, u have the same name as me! siblings frfr??

FANDOMS?

I lurk in many fandoms. Not about to list them all, though 😭 Mostly I write about my current obsession! Almost always it's my blog theme :O

Please don't hesitate to ask from wherever fandom you are! There's no harm in trying! :) Except BNHA. Preferably, no anime. (With the exception of Dandadan)

Better yet, feel free to list down your fandoms in the comments! Anything that you would want to see yandere content in! Just so I can browse and maybe write for!!

LIMITS?

No problematic shipping requests.

Unfortunately, I don't do OCs (':

If the character is 18-, they can be aged up if you'd like, but strictly no NSFW, or in certain circumstances, romance. They're gonna be platonic.

I don't do intense gore. While I do have yandere content, I'm on the sorta wholesome side? Define 'wholesome' ... Implied scenarios are more likely😩

I write non-yandere stories too tho!

Minors, please stay safe. Don't go meddling around with adult spaces!

Sadly, I'm lacking in knowledge of other popular media, so if you happen to request one of those, I might not reply. Instead, I'll be keeping your ask until one day I check that media out.

Doesn't matter if the character is well known or not! Cuz I WILL attempt to learn about your request!

Except real life people. I can do actors with their characters, but never peeps' government names.

Part 2s are my weakness. I'm sorry. Doesn't mean you should try asking me tho!

WHY IS MY REQUEST TAKING SO LONG?

...college

If it's something I've never posted about yet, then it's either I'm not in the fandom, or I'm just clueless.

But other than that... sometimes I take days— weeks— months? to truly click with an idea.

I want to enjoy whatever I'm writing, so I take a break until an idea comes up.

And there's also the fact that I'm working on multiple things at once 😭😭 I tend to focus on easier ones first!!

Also I usually think of ideas at night c:

Worst case scenario: I truly have zero idea for your request, I'm so sorry 😔

NOTES ABOUT ME!

Yandere is my guilty pleasure, I fear🤕

HOWEVER, I do not, and won't ever, condone the behavior I will portray in my writing. Please don't misunderstand, don't romanticize. They are purely fiction and for entertainment.

I regularly change my theme (profile, colors, banner, etc.) just so you know.

This account is for everyone,, we're all just trying to find content of our favorite character fr— so please don't hesitate to request :)

As I close my eyes to sleep, that's when I start imagining scenarios for my writing!

erm skibid toilet

[fyodior]

𝑆𝑇𝐴𝑌 𝑀𝐼𝑁𝐸.

♙ pairing: son!fyodor x reader

♙ cw: DARK CONTENT!! (i)ncest, yandere!fyodor, vaginal sex, handjob, sub(ish) fyodor, 18+ only minors dni!! it is mentioned, but fyodor is an adult

♙ notes: starting off with a bang for my first 1k event fic, dedicated to my one and only beloved kal @hnnnnnnnmscorner ♡ ♡

♙ wc: 1.8k

⇢ dark content disclaimer: pls remember this is entirely fiction with absolutely NO reflection of reality! i do not condone this nor any other dc i write, pls just block or unfollow if you dont like it, and do NOT report or leave hate comments.

Your son, Fyodor, always seemed to have an emergency whenever you had a date set up.

“I need you, Mommy,” Fyodor whined over the phone, sniffling. Your heart broke hearing his despaired sobs, exactly like Fyodor knew it would. 

“Don’t worry, baby,” you cooed as you haphazardly gathered your belongings and offered your date an apologetic look. “Mommy’s here for you.”

Fyodor mumbled a sniffled thank you, before hanging up, as a knowing smirk spread across his face.

You had been single ever since Fyodor could remember, and to him, that’s how it needed to stay. As an only child, he always had all of your attention and was comfortably used to being the center of your world. You loved him more than anyone else, and Fyodor would be six feet under before he ever let that change.

You’d been through countless dates, had countless ­­almost­-boyfriends, but could never seem to understand why none of them stuck. Was your job too demanding? Did you not call or text enough? Were you just that unlikable? It was hilarious how oblivious you were.

You somehow couldn’t – or refused – to see how your son was purposely fucking up every potential romantic relationship so he could ensure he remained the most important person and thing in his life.

And he had a lot of fun doing it, too. He loved acting happy and supportive whenever you came home from work telling him about a new blind date you had been set up on because he loved seeing you smile, though the rage that bubbled up inside him thinking about your attention being on another man made him nauseous. But by doing so, he could overplay the sad boy act when they finally ended things or even ghosted you, expertly timed tears slipping down his cheeks as he hugged you tight.

He really just wishes he could see the faces of all the men you’ve bailed on when they realize they’re missing out on sex that night because your adult son called crying for mommy. Especially the repeat offenders who put up with the antics much longer than they should’ve – what they looked like when, once again, your precious Fedya’s face popped up on your phone alongside his special ringtone. God it was fun.

You fly through the front door, face flushed as you arrive home, searching for your distressed son.

“Honey?” you called out.

“I’m in here,” he replied, voice cracking and dripping with tears – in your room.

You kicked your shoes and jacket off before hurrying up the stairs, peaking your head through the doorframe to see Fyodor curled in on himself, sobbing.

He had watched your location in real time as you drove home, so he knew exactly when to turn on the waterworks – approximately eight minutes before you arrived to allow for a perfectly flushed face, puffy eyes, and runny nose to make it seem like he’d been crying for hours.

And it fooled you every time. You rushed over to the bed to sit, back leaned against the headboard, and pulled him into your lap. He curled up into you instinctively, fitting against you perfectly like he had his whole life. You pet his mussed, dark hair with one hand as you hold him tight to your chest with the other, as his tears continue to spill onto your shoulder.

“It’s okay, Fedya baby, it’s okay. Mommy’s got you.”

He only sniffed in response, seemingly too in distress communicate verbally.

“Can I ask what happened?” You asked, very, very delicately.

“Just r-really missed you, and started panicking, is all,” Fyodor hiccupped. You just pulled him closer to you, tears collecting at the corners of your own eyes now.

He wrapped his arms tight around your neck and buried his face into your top.

“Is there anything Mommy can do to make it better?”

The words Fyodor had been waiting for. A small smirk played across his lips where his face was hidden from your view, but wiped it away before pulling back and looking at you. He looked a mess – his long hair tangled and tousled every which way, his cheeks and nose tomato red, and lips torn to shreds from where he had been anxiously chewing on them. You offered him a gentle smile, bringing one hand up to tuck a lock of black hair behind his ear.

“Can you-” he used a hand to adjust the crotch of his pants. “Can you… help me?”

Your eyes flicked down to where his hand just was to see a slight tent forming. You smiled – it was easy when this was all it took to cheer him up.

“Of course I will, honey.”

Your hand slithered into his sleep pants looking up at him for approval before you slipped past the waistband of his boxers. Fyodor pretended to wipe away more tears to hide the menacing smirk he couldn’t help from forming as he got exactly what he wanted – you.

Fyodor groaned as your familiar fingers wrapped around his half-hard cock, thumbing briefly at the slit to gather the dribble of precum that had already begun forming.

You spit in your hand for extra lube before properly jerking him off. He couldn’t help but harden up quickly – he had been waiting for this basically all day, and he was only human.

“Were you really this excited for me?” you teased, squeezing his length and making him yelp.

“Just missed you, is all…” he grumbled, repeating himself.

He couldn’t help but fuck up into your expert fist, a little too desperate for the feeling of your hot palms against his now aching cock.

Fyodor was coming undone fast, and you, of course, could tell. The way his face contorted and hips spasmed were telltale signs that your son was about to cum, so you quickened the speed of your jerks to encourage him.

“C’mon my love, cum for Mommy,” you cooed into his ear. He whined.

“Wait wait wait-” Fyodor suddenly exclaimed, tugging at your wrist.

You immediately stopped, looking up at your son still sitting in your lap, eyes full of concern.

“What’s wrong, Fedya?”

“Can I-” Fyodor started, eyes widening before he covered his face with his hands. You could barely hear the following nevermind he mumbled, already soft words muffled by his palms.

You wrapped your fingers around his wrists and tugged gently.

“Look at me, sweetheart. Can you, what?”

“It’s selfish, Mommy.” He couldn’t meet your eyes.

“You’re allowed to be selfish sometimes, baby,” you reassured, offering him a gentle smile.

“Can I have…. more?” he asked shyly.

“More?” you cocked your head.

“…More. Of you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to make sense of what he was saying, until it clicked.

“You want Mommy’s cunt?”

Suddenly his violet gaze met yours as you uttered the exact words he wanted to hear. Fyodor almost wanted to clap and cheer at how perfectly you had been following the script he had outlined in his head, of how tonight was to go. Of how he was going to ensure that you remained under his thumb, even if you never realized it. Just another step in the direction of making sure he would remain the only man in your life.

“Is that okay?” he almost squeaked, making sure not to fall out of character.

You just laughed and shook your head affectionately.

“C’mere, baby.”

Soon Fyodor was on his back against the mattress, looking up at you as you now straddled his lap. You still had the softest, most loving expression with a gleam in your eye.

“Let Mommy do it for you,” you whispered.

He nodded against the pillow, still playing the shy boy act.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Fyodor stared as you pulled your dress up over your head, leaving you only in your underwear on top of him. Surely this was what your date from earlier had been hoping to see, but it was all for Fyodor. It always would be.

You shifted off him momentarily to gently shimmy his sleep pants and boxers all the way off, and rid yourself of your panties before resuming your position. Now Fyodor was breathless as your pussy came in contact with his skin, already weeping slick onto his pelvis.

Grabbing his cock into your hand once again, making him hiss, you look back up at him.

“Are you sure you want this, Fedya?” you asked, a hint of nervousness in your voice. You just really didn’t want him to regret this.

“Please,” he whined, grabbing your hips.

You chuckled, running your hand up his chest.

“Okay, my love. Just for you.”

Reality turned into slow motion as Fyodor watched you raise yourself up on your knees, line his painfully throbbing erection up with your entrance, and sink down onto him. The yelp he let out was completely involuntary, as you clenched your tight heat around his cock.

“M-mom- feels so fucking good-” he stuttered, throwing his head back into the pillow.

“Good baby, I’m glad.” You leaned down to press a chaste kiss to his lips, rubbing his cheek with your thumb. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“Love you, t- fuck!”  he attempted to reply, cut off by your next moves.

Using your thigh and core strength, you raised yourself off his lap once again before falling back down, moaning at the way his tip brushed directly against your sweet spot. You searched his face for any sign of discomfort but all you could see was the contorted look of pleasure as he involuntarily bucked his hips up into you, overcome with pleasure. It was reassuring enough for you.

Slowly but surely, you fell into a rhythm, using the bedframe behind Fyodor’s head as leverage as you fucked yourself on his cock.

Fyodor was a whining, garbling mess, only able to gasp out single words like fuck! or mommy!  He couldn’t do anything, could only watch as you used his cock.

Though it felt good for you too, overwhelmed by the pleasure of Fedya’s length as he filled you up again and again, what felt the best was knowing how happy you were making your darling son. To see the fucked out look on his face as he approached his climax was better than anything else ever could be.

Fyodor was too distracted to properly voice his oncoming orgasm and accidentally spilled his seed inside of you but you didn’t really mind, just climbed off him and used the sheets to wipe yourself off a bit.

Then you were laying on your side next to him and pulled him in close to you, running your fingers up and down the pale skin of his back as he caught his breath.

“So good for me, baby. You did so good for me,” you cooed.

“Thank you, Mommy.” Thank you for staying mine.

[oh-my-damn]

It’s quite sad actually like Chris could just drop her at any time ( he has before lmao)///

This is the sad part and this age gaps can be so difficult. Like the power imbalance is real in this one. We can see how experience due to age and the power of his position is seeping into their relationship. If it is real she is giving up everything, changing to meet his life's need, waiting on him, and changing to fit his personality. She spends most of her time in the states living in his home, surrounded by his family and friends, pretty much inside since no ever captures them out and about. She's going to his friends' parties Halloween/birthdays, spending Holidays with his family. He has not done nearly as much with her family and friends besides inviting them to NYE but that to is on his turf. He shows the world they're together but won't allow her to walk the red carpet as a couple, like why not? If hes brave enough to show private moments to the world then he should be brave enough to walk with her during his work event and support her against the hate. She's going along with it because she doesnt have the power to push back. Then one day he can choice to leave whenever and all she will have to show for it is all the sacrifices she made for him. I dont feel sorry for her because you know shes a racist but it sucks that we keep seeing it happening to women over and over again, and there seems to be no stop to it.

This is such a hard topic for me. I've mentioned several times how I view age-gap relationships, and especially ones where the power dynamic is so evident, like it is in theirs.

I won't feel sorry either because I refuse to have empathy for a person like that, but as a person who does have a lot of empathy for people in general, it is still heartbreaking to witness.

I remember mentioning back in the very early days of their relationship going public that this was a feminist issue too, and a lot of people questioned that. Very few people realized that what was going on was indeed a feminist issue because the power imbalance was so wack, there is no way they are equals in any sense.

As a woman, who has had to deal with the challenges there are as a woman in everyday life, who has seen a lot of shit in her life, it is absolutely worrisome and heartbreaking to me.

Especially because it is coming from a man that I regarded so highly for a period of time in my life.

I honestly expected more. I expected better. I expected a lot better from a person who publicly called out Donald "Grab Them By The Pussy" Trump, and I can't express how disappointed I am in Chris because of this.

I know and understand that he is a grown man who will date whoever he wants. But I can't accept or condone this behavior. It goes against everything I believe in and support. It goes against the person he portrayed himself as publicly, which is in fact, the biggest let down of all.

When I first read what Jenny had written in her book, I dismissed it. But with everything I know now, I fully believe it.

He truly is a "fair weather" opinionated person. He is fair weather in politics, feminism, discrimination, bullying. He will speak up when it concerns people directly close to him, but not if it gets him even the slightest bit of heat.

And he is only a feminist when it benefits him. Because a truly feminist man would never, ever, get entangled in a situation like this, because it wouldn't even be an option.

So much of this disappoints me, but the fact that it was all a facade for likes on social media is what hurts the most.

[kreideprinz69]

Something that really grates on me about a lot of anti-Koma people is the complete lack of empathy for Nagito in regards to his actions from the Dead Room to the Chapter 5 Trial. Treating it as if it's the single most reprehensible thing any culprit has done over the course of the entire series. When it is pretty much the exact same shit that Asahina was pulling in the first game's fourth trial. But with a far less petty motive. We see how the remaining five survivors react when they discover the truth of the NWP in Chapter 6. They are all on the verge of a breakdown as it all starts to become too much for them, and they only narrowly pull themselves back together to initiate the shutdown. Now imagine how they would react if: 1. All those survivors were isolated from each other when they learned the truth. 2. They were not made aware of the fact that their apparent turn to evil wasn't actually voluntary, and that they too are victims. 3. They did not have the three DR1 survivors and AI Chiaki to offer moral support during these revelations. 4. They were not made aware that any person who dies in the simulation will actually be possessed by Junko's AI in the real world. Because those were the circumstances of Nagito learning the "truth" in Chapter 4! His antis get so worked up over his bitchiness towards Hajime and the others, that they refuse to see just how tragic and pitiable the situation really is. What at first seems like a bizarre and vicious betrayal is actually a young man finally having his spirit broken after a life of endless traumas. Becoming so ashamed and disgusted with himself that the only thing he can think of as a small act of penance is to torture himself to death and get his classmates executed for their crimes. While not realizing that he's inadvertently aiding the same Ultimate Despair he's trying to stop. And it pisses me off when it bleeds over into fanfics too, with most of the cast ostracizing him for it. Because come the fuck on. Characters like Teruteru, Fuyuhiko, and Peko really don't much have a leg to stand on with that, considering their actions would have had essentially the same result if the class trials went their way. Me personally I like to think they'd keep a careful watch on him. But also make clear to him that while they don't condone his actions and think he made a terrible mistake, they're not going to condemn him either. Acknowledging that if they'd been in his position, they don't know what they might have been capable of. Considering how his character grew, I like to think Fuyuhiko would be one of the first people to admit that he'd probably have reacted just the way Monokuma wanted him to if he'd been given that special "prize".

YESS this! this right here omg, i love talking about this.

i think it's really easy for people to treat nagito with a total lack of empathy because of just how far removed nagito is from his own humanity. so a lot of people just put the insane label on him and don't take much of a further look at his actions. but the reality is that every action he's taking holds so much meaning and has never not had a well thought out reason. doesn't make them justifiable, but does offer so much more depth into his character than just being "crazy."

also i agree on the aoi part, i really don't get how people hate nagito for chapter 5 but don't say anything about aoi trying to get her classmates killed in the trial. dont get me wrong, thats not me ragging on her, because i adore aoi. its just the inconsistencies in how people treat characters for their actions that bother me. i think people forget just how much of a stressful situation the cast is in. suddenly waking up where you're not supposed to be, missing memories, knowing your friend or you might die at any moment, not to mention the investigations and trials; thats all pretty fucked up.

and like you said, nagito was ENTIRELY on his own when he learned the truth about everything happening. he was already in a lot of mental distress when the killings started, so the whole "truth" would have just completely broken him. he's been so violently traumatized his entire life, literally everything has been taken for him and supposedly he's going to die from his illness soon since there's nothing left for his luck to take. the only thing he's been able to do is cope through his obsession with hope, (and if we remove the obsession with hope and just focus on the fact that they're inside a simulation and caused the world to end, that's already stressful enough. the main cast BARELY coped even with all the help) so when you take that into account AND that he was actively working against the one thing that could never leave him (hope)- that's pretty fucking destroying! the only way for him to not lose the last thing he had, was to commit suicide in the way he did. which he full heartedly believed was for the greater good.

the sheer mental distress you would have to be under to be totally okay with torturing yourself before committing suicide is, KIND OF A LOT lol. also, props to him for coming up with such an elaborate plan despite the stress he was under. i honestly feel like his death was heavily foreshadowed. the entire game he talks about wanting to be a stepping stone for hope and that he's okay with being killed for it. his entire life has all just been one big tragedy too. the way he died, his motives behind it, and goal to become the ultimate hope; it was honestly a great ending for him. but im not gonna go into depth on that because im already probably getting off topic here whoops

but lets talk about his bitch arc for a second (chapter 4.) people blow it SO out of proportion. nagito was an asshole for one afternoon and was bullying hajime because he's angry he's in love with some loser. its just funny to me how some people make it a huge deal and use it to say nagito hates hajime. in chapter 5 before he dies, he literally shows remorse for his actions and barely anyone talks about it!. i can talk about that a bit more on a different post if someone is curious but im trying not to let this get ungodly long lmao

also yes, the way characters in fanon will be overly critical with nagito. while i do believe they were a littleee bit harsh with him in the game (another thing i could rant about but i'll spare you) i really don't think they would hate him after the simulation. on the final trial with junko, they almost let her win. and when they learn about being remnants and they all wake up, i think they would have come to understand nagito at least a LITTLE bit better. literally none of them are inoccent, so they probably came to realize they weren't all that much better than nagito. while we don't really see nagito interact with the other characters much in the danganronpa 3 hope arc; he looks to be on good terms with the rest of the cast. and just judging by how they all agreed to just live for the future and put the past behind them, i do think they would try their best to give nagito a chance, even if they're a bit weirded out by him. also i totally agree with the fuyuhiko bit! i think he's a very reasonable person that understand morally grey areas, so i like to think he was one of the first to start giving nagito a chance.

okay sorry that this was SO long oh my god. i cannot make myself stop talking sometimes, especially if it's nagito related sdhjfbsdfkhjb. but thanks for the ask because i find discussing this stuff super interesting!!! <3

[queerlordsimon]

Come home, my true heart

Prompt: spiked drink

An: i do not condone the real life actions of yanderes/stalkers

Cw: yandere. Magical drugging, kidnapping. read at your own peril. 

Word count: 627

“Good evening child of man.” malleus smiled warmly down at the ramshackle prefect, who had approached him for their evening walks. 

“Evening tsuno tarou,” the prefect said softly. y/n was a shy individual, which was why they often went on the individual walks with the dragon fae, to decompress after the bustle of the halls at the school, which were so crowded usually it nearly made them pass out.

They walked in silence for a little while, just enjoying each others company and the quiet, before malleus spoke.

“Child of man, would you do me the honor of going to the dance with me tomorrow night?”

Night raven college students had chosen to hold a dance for the students, for true hearts day. Most of the school had been buzzing about it for weeks, but its not like y/n had a strong desire to go, though they wouldnt mind going

“Really tsuno tarou?” he nodded “then i would be honored to say yes” the fae smiled.

“Lovely, thank you child of man.” he said as he dropped them off at their dorm.

The next night malleus knocked on ramshackles door, as y/n opened the door. Epel had ratted them out to vil, making him and rook come over to help get them ready to go, so they were wearing deep red clothing, and their hair was done nicely.  Malleus was wearing a nice green button up and black slacks. 

“You are looking lovely, child of man” making y/n flush gently, 

“Thank you, though pomfiore came and and assisted. You look very handsome” the fae smiled. 

“Why thank you. Are you ready to go?” y/n nodded as malleus offered his elbow, and they took it, before walking to the school. 

The cafeteria was already packed when they arrived, making y/ns eyes widen and them shrink back into themselves a little, which malleus noticed, and took them to a corner table and sat them down.

“Thank you malleus” he nodded. 

“Stay right here, ill be back with something for you to drink” they nodded in return, and he went off to get the drink, returning with some of the punch, which y/n started drinking. After a little while they started getting more dizzy, feeling faint.

“Malleus, could you take me back to the dorm? I dont think i can be here any longer.” he nodded, helping them stand up.

“Of course, come on” he said, putting an arm around their waist to support them. And as soon as they stepped outside of the cafeteria, y/n passed out, and malleus caught them.

When they awoke, hours later, they were dizzy and their head hurt,they didnt recognize their surroundings either, as they sat up and groaned softly, holding their head, looking up at the figure sitting on a beam at the ceiling. 

“Malleus?” the figure nodded, a deadly smile playing on his lips

“Good morning child of man,” y/n looked around in confusion

“What happened?”

“You passed out,  you said you werent feeling well”

“I though i asked you to take me back to ramshackle? Why am i not home?”

"but you are home y/n." y/n muttered to themselves.

"why do i feel so dizzy? I feel like i have been drugged and the only drink i had tsuno tarou brought me...." they looked up at him. " you drugged me, didnt you?" he smiled at them

“Now why would you say that?” he hummed, dropping from the rafter onto the floor by the bed. 

“Whats going on tsuno tarou?” malleus smirked, his fangs flashing in the light as he put his fingers under their chin, tilting their head up to look at him

“Youve finally come home, y/n, my true heart”

[caliginous-rocket-papaya]

the term proship has been watered down so much that people dont even know what it means. i get it if someone gets uncomfortable or triggered by certain content or themes so they would want to not interact with a person who likes or posts that kind of stuff, but thats not even what proship is. proship doesnt even mean that someone likes unusual, gory, or “immoral” things in fiction. it simply means they believe that people should be able to ship any and all pairings without harassment. and it goes with basically any form of media. the belief that something should not be censored just because it makes others uncomfortable. which seems pretty reasonable to me! themes in fiction should have a right to exist, as long as its not directly hurting anyone in real life or condoning it to happen in real life. and lets be honest, a lot of not socially acceptable pairings have so much potential in their dynamics, but people are just afraid of being perceived as weird for enjoying or exploring them.

[bthump]

I wouldnt read berserk in public and i wouldnt watch game of thrones in public on full volume its just about being appropriate not necessarily that there is any issue with violence/sex. I think people are too comfortable viewing art that caters to them. Ultimately art is used to speak on certain truths without necessarily being pleasant. The violent and dark nature of humanity is often not depicted enough and i think the lack of viewership leads to people being less whole in their personality. For example ignoring or denying ones dark nature can lead to more outbursts/repressed emotions causing damage. I dont like or condone the rape, violence or brutality of berserk but i see its value. I like how it portrays reality. People are monsters as well we have serial killers, rapists, and beheadings in our modern world. These are all real things that people deal with and im not sure why that cant be depicted in our media. Some people will not understand this and thats ok but it will be something that you have to deal with if you enjoy dark media. What do you think?

All right I'll answer you once because you went to the trouble of rephrasing this according to my suggestions and I do appreciate that you've been polite about it.

I like a lot of dark fiction, and I like a lot of the darkness of Berserk. Part of the reason I'm a Berserk fan is because it's a dark story with a lot of violence and trauma. I think the rape of women in particular is, however, poorly depicted in Berserk, for a myriad of reasons that I've discussed extensively. Here are some links to things I've previously written on the subject.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to enjoy dark fiction while criticizing it, because it's always reasonable to criticize writing. Sometimes writing(/art) is bad and/or offensive, regardless of what the subject is or whether it happens irl. Depicting the darkness of humanity isn't a get out of jail free card for bad writing. A story can depict something that happens in real life, and it can still be poorly done because of how it's framed by the narrative and the storytelling tools available to the creator, which is how I feel about a lot of the sexual violence in Berserk. And honestly, I personally am actually pretty lenient when it comes to depictions of rape, imo. I certainly don't think it's automatically offensive (and I don't think many people do), and I even think it can be done well in casual, comedic, sexualized, aggressor/bystander-centric, etc contexts (though I def understand why that can be a contentious opinion). But I don't think Miura does it well, most of the time.

It's also reasonable to enjoy some dark things and not others. I understand why someone might enjoy Berserk's sword swinging violence but not its sexual violence, and that's fine. Not everyone should have to "deal with" every form of dark media if they like some forms of it, and I think that phrasing is very dismissive of very real reasons someone might not be willing to read a story featuring a ton of rape, or reasons they might take issue with the particular depiction of rape in that story.

Finally, these things obviously can be depicted in our media, we're discussing a professionally published manga, and your other reference was to one of the most popular tv shows of all time. Some people not enjoying fictional rape or other violence, or criticizing it, isn't a threat to these stories existing. I'm sure there will be plenty of rapey fiction for as long as fiction continues to exist.

And just as a heads up, I'm not interested in having a discussion about this. I'm guessing that we're probably not going to see eye-to-eye on whether Berserk's portrayal of rape is worth criticizing or not, and I'm not interested in convincing anyone of my perspective, so I'm fine with agreeing to disagree on this topic.

[defensivelee]

ok... i just blocked anon at this point but heres what they said bc apparently i didn't read what i wrote myself(?!)

i would just leave it at that, but honestly? i do wanna address some things here not bc i feel the need to defend myself to anon, but bc i wanna make it clear to you ppl WHY all this stuff was written.... like im not gonna sugarcoat it, i DO enjoy writing this bc hi. huge whump lover here. making pretty people suffer is my favorite thing. but it's also so important to say that this is FICTION (this is historical rpf which is kinda funny but still, none of this actually happened). there is no real abuse going on so there is no need for any of this performative bullshit. anon is just wasting time bc it goes without saying but i would never ever condone or do this shit irl. idk how it works for other ppl but for me fiction does not affect reality, the only way it does is that it makes me happy precisely because i can do whatever i want and nobody gets hurt. and these mfs dont care, they're dead im sure they have better things to do. anyway i just wanna say:

all the details anon is giving me abt my story makes it sound like they read the whole story, both Dona Dona and the main chapters. that's almost 100k words. when they could have clicked off at any time. when the tags are so clearly right there. like... you did this for what 😭

i assume the gang rape anon is talking about is in the Tenth Hot Spring when Bentinck serviced a bunch of dudes to seal a deal for William. i would find it kind of difficult to describe it as that... but tbh, yeah, it would have been incredibly hard for him to say no. in any case, so sorry to tell you this anon but there are no perfect victims in this AU! he never sees it as rape because he thinks he deserves it, and because he does enjoy it at times. his whole image as an Ally under an Overlifer kind of relies on that. and while i'll tag it properly, i'm not going to sanitize or sugarcoat it as it's a huge part of his character arc. he doesn't think he's allowed to say no or have boundaries, so he won't! in this society i think it would be hard to find a "perfect victim." Bentinck doesn't cry about this because he thinks he's fulfilling his purpose.

Bentinck being described as a shotacon..... im so sorry that was so fucking funny to me LMFAO

i wouldn't say he enjoyed kissing William's father as a boy, he just thinks he did. obv we don't get to see much of it in Dona Dona bc it's from William's POV. but even then, as an adult, he stills sees it as an honor. AGAIN, part of his whole arc of how he views himself, the religion, and his role in it. that event is kind of the starting point of that, it was put there for a reason and not bc i actually think kids can consent/enjoy assault! in my experience, they can think they did. here again, the perfect victim narrative does not always reflect reality.

you're right, kids can't initiate that! like i said in my disclaimer, it's a result of grooming and how they've been raised. they think they are, but it's just making them easier to abuse. i never once believed they could consent.

im not a rapist period full stop. just not

yeah i romanticize abusive relationships. in FICTION. they're fun to write. jamesborough is a delightful ship and the succubus au has been so fun to work on. real life abusers can choke and i would encourage anyone in a relationship like the ones i write about to seek help immediately.

Anne called Marly a slut bc SHE is victim blaming. EVERYONE victim blames Marly in this story. it's part of HIS arc. i would not blame any victim of this sort of shit irl. and even then, in this universe "slut" doesn't have such a negative connotation as in our world. yes, it is still victim blaming, but how can you read the story and still have it completely fly by your head like that

im aromantic, which i dont know how you wouldnt have just picked up from idk... SCROLLING THRU MY BLOG LIKE ANON SO CLEARLY DID?? LOOKING AT MY ICON?? so no need to pray for those hypothetical partners, it's never happening.

[hellfireconfessions]

You say that you’re not okay with doxing, yet I have had people call my work, call me, and call the police in my area. You have multiple posts in here making completly false allegations, and still keep up a page made purely to harrass people. Staff wasn’t perfect, but members weren’t either. We were all trying our best to make hellfire a fun place to be. For some people it was, for others is wasn’t, that is clear due to how it all fell down. However, the doxing needs to stop.The false allegations need to stop. At the end of the day, Hellfire was just a server for playing an online dino game. It’s gone. It’s over. Hellfire is dead and it’s not coming back.  If you have evidence of something serious, go to the police. Go to discord to get their discord banned. Don’t call someone’s work or the police just to spread lies. Have some humanity for 5 goddamn seconds and realize that what you are doing can ruin lives. I don’t expect everyone to like me. I expect to get hate for this post. I made mistakes as staff and I made mistakes when playing in hellifire, because I’m human. I just wanted to make a place I loved a better place. The only thing I ask for now is that people leave my personal life alone. I’m sorry to anyone I hurt or upset while I was Staff in hellfire, however this has gone WAY too far. I’m a real person. Not just a name on a screen. 

mod edit: Doxxing DOES need to stop. HOWEVER Im not the one sending people to call your work, call you, or call the police in the area. You can blame me or the blog for it, but end of day that is purely on the people who did it and not me as a person. It takes a certain level of crazy to even want to dox and im sure if not the blog something else wouldve made the individual(s) do it with how the server was going pre-blog. I have always said i do not condone doxxing and all my individual actions support that. You always do this shit man you blame the collective for individuals behaviors you literally always have done that. This page was made because yall as staff constantly failed to listen to the community every time. Yall chose to both make announcements to everyone informing people who had no idea of the situation, and then act like they should make a ticket when the wrong move was first making the announcement (multiple times for different situations Guri just the latest). Reports were handled bad, yall wanted people to make a ticket and for what? is there any player here who has a good experience with tickets? players dont trust the staff because you dont let them speak, and when they go to yall directly through tickets its just oppression tactics. This blog was made because yall gave us no other place to be heard. We didn’t delete Hellfire, Ladyk did when staff finally couldnt time out the backlash. Its crazy that this blog wouldve never happened if people felt comfortable talking in HF. If its in my power to stop a dox, i have and will, and will continue to do so. 

[xanderxciv]

Kryptonian OC : Corvux

Lewis Hill(Earth Name)

Lan-Vex(Kryptonian Name)

On Earth-622, unlike Clark, Lewis Hill grew up most of his life, normal. Grew up with good morals, raised by his father, Eric, a former Marine. The city they live in, Chesapeake City, wasnt like Gotham, but wasnt a Metropolis either. He never knew he was Kryptonian until one evening. A cop stopped him & his best friend Matt, when they were on their way home. The cop pulled the trigger because he heard trouble in the distance. But the bullet deflected off Lewis. He sped up to him, crushed the gun, grabbed his friend & super jumped away.

Of course he had to tell his father first, he always knew. In fact, he knew Superman. He knew his real father too, but not for the long. The only thing his father left for him, was a key with the symbol of the Kryptonian house he's from. The House Of Vex. Lewis also learned his Kryptonian name, Lan-Vex.

Lewis wanted to follow by Superman's example. After learning to get used to his powers, especially Super Hearing(but it wasnt as hard because of the city he lived in. He was used to loud sounds), he went on patrols in multiple places. Mainly on the East Coast. Matt sketched up ideas for a suit. One day, he apprehended a gang that tried to rob a local store.

A week later, he's on patrol in a few states up. Not much was going on in Chesapeake City, but Lewis heard a gunshot. He flew back & saw Matt dead, outside that same store. That night, asked the store owner what happened, after revealing his face. The gang he stopped was let out, because the law deemed him vigilante, so him stopping them instead of cops, didnt hold any weight(which I imagine happened in the DC or Marvel Universe at least a few times). The gang drove by, and their leader shot & killed Matt.

Then on, Lewis decided to kill criminals. A tough discussion Eric had with him, but told him if this was his choice, then after the 1st kill, come back home & process it. Lewis went on to shut down every criminal activity in the city, to back the gang into a corner. He got info along the way. And the citizens supported him.

The remaining crooks had their last base of operations, the main one. Lewis' initual suit was the one Matt designed(not the main suit here). He hunted them down, told teens that were there to leave(mainly one in particular because he was their neighbor's grandson). Every gang member was taken out, without Lewis going 100%(because if he did, he wouldve done serious damage to the surrounding area).

The boss that pulled the trigger was scared all of a sudden. Lewis realized that he did what he did not only for retaliation, but recognition for messing with a Kryptonian & living.

"....You thought you'd make a name for yourself, be a crime boss. But youre no Lex Luthor. And I am not Superman", Lewis says before letting the gang leader fall to his death & landed on his car.

The civilians saw that. Lewis told them to leave that building alone for a few days before turning it into something positive. Just in case any other crook tries making a power grab. A reporter wanted to interview him. Lewis reveals his face to everyone, tells the world that he will operate only on his home turf. If the whole Earth is in trouble, he'll help, if he's ever on another hero's turf, its their rules. Gives a brief speech that the crime in Chesapeake will end. He tells the world the name everyone should call him, Corvux, then flies off.

A few days later, Lewis visits Matt's grave, and Clark arrives(before that, he was handling hero work in space with the JL). Lewis knows why he's there, says he'll never change his mind & that Clark's ways dont work in Chesapeake. Clark would never condone Lewis' methods, but understands that they both may have raised on Earth with good morals, but Lewis grew up with a different outlook.

Before he leaves, he asks Lewis to promise him that he'll stand true to his rules. Rules that others may eventually may follow by his example. So Lewis may have to be a leader for them, even if he doesnt want to lead. And if Lewis goes rouge, Clark will stop him.

Lastly, Clark gives him the item necessary for his key & to make a mini-Fortress somewhere in Chesapeake.

[ohmyfairies]

Imagine taking fiction so personally that people liking “””problematic””” characters offends you,,,,, lmao couldn’t be me