#and no i am not telling you which one stands for which RO before the thing ends that part is for fun for me personally

[bragganhyl]

on the note of something i recently rambled about

[leiawritesstories]

Best Dream Ever

Rowaelin Month 2024, Day 3: Idiots in Love @rowaelinscourt

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: some swearing, alcohol, ridiculous amounts of fluff

Enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why the hell is someone knocking on my door at eight p.m.? Aelin grumbled to herself as she reluctantly walked to her front door, wine glass in hand. It had been a heck of a work week, and she was a grown woman who was entitled to her post-work drink. She rose up onto her tiptoes to look through the glass panes near the top of the door and did a double take when she found her neighbor from down the street standing on her porch, looking for all the world like he was about to bolt. 

“Rowan?” She opened the door. “You alright?” 

He ducked into her house, pushed the door closed, and looked frantically out the window, chest heaving like he was afraid for his life. “I am now, I think.” 

She raised a brow. “Look, I know we’re neighbors and friends and all that, but seriously. What the hell?” 

He held up his hands. “I’m sorry, Ae, I really am. I texted you like fifteen times.” 

“Ah, shit.” She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and waved it in front of him. “Dead, I’m sorry. Ran out of battery on the way home from work and honestly haven’t wanted to charge it.” 

“Fair enough.” He walked beside her down the hallway to her living room and flopped down on the couch he liked, groaning in relief when his head hit the throw pillows. 

“Long week for you too?” 

He grumbled something incomprehensible and moved the pillow off of his face. “Have you ever had six adult men show up at your door armed with gods-only-know how much booze and zero warning and proceed to set up shop in your house?” 

“Can’t say I have,” she drawled. 

“Wouldn’t recommend.” He raked his hands through his messy, pale hair. “I made the mistake of telling the guys that I got that deal with the MLB team, and they apparently decided that this was their sign to come into town and crash my weekend. Seems like I ‘don’t celebrate right,’ whatever the fuck that means.” 

Aelin hid her smile behind her wine. “Which one of the twins said that?” 

“Fen, of fucking course,” Rowan said dryly. “Who else d’you think could convince all the guys to drop everything and converge on my house for a weekend? We’re not in college anymore, not like he understands that.” 

“I’m sure he’ll come around eventually,” Aelin offered. “For now, though, you know you always have a place here. Just…you don’t need to crash for the night, do you?” 

Pink tinged Rowan’s cheeks, and he slipped his backpack off of his shoulders. “Well, now that you mention it…” 

She laughed and stood up. “You know where the spare room is, Ro. Want a beer or something?” 

“Sounds fuckin’ amazing.” He went down the hall to drop off his bag in her spare room and returned a few minutes later in sweatpants and an old university t-shirt. Gratefully, he took the beer bottle from her hand and tipped half its contents down his throat. “Fuck, that’s good.” 

“It’s from the case of ‘good stuff’ you dumped in my garage three weeks ago,” Aelin said, pairing her words with a poke to his side. “Quit using me as your beer overflow, Whitethorn.” 

“Who else could I trust not to drink it?” he grinned, slinging one arm around her shoulders. “If I let one of the guys keep it at their place, it’d be gone in a day, never mind that it’s a small batch craft brew that needs at least thirty-two hours of chilling before you can really get the tasting notes.” 

“Snob,” she teased, turquoise eyes sparkling with laughter. 

He smirked. “It’s called good taste, Ae, and you—” 

A fist thudded rapidly against Aelin’s front door. 

She looked at Rowan, and he looked back at her, eyes wide. “Please don’t let them in,” he whispered, and he took off down the hall to hide in the spare room. 

“Men,” she sighed. She strolled down the hallway, peered out the window, and cracked open her door just a few inches. “What the hell do you want, Moon Moon?” 

Grinning broadly and probably tipsily, Fenrys tried to lean on her doorframe and stumbled sideways before regaining his balance. “Where’s Rowie?” 

Aelin fixed the blonde man with a flat, unimpressed look. “Ask me in normal-people words, Fenny boy.” 

Fenrys inhaled dramatically. “My dear darling Aelin, have you seen Rowan lately? We came to his place to celebrate him getting the MLB deal, but we’d barely been there for an hour before he said he needed to grab something from the store. Haven’t seen the guy since.” 

“Does this look like the store, Moon Moon?” she deadpanned. 

“Nobody thought he was actually going to the store!” Fen protested. He tried to push open her door, but she clicked her tongue and fixed him with a look that made him stop in his tracks. 

“Fen, you’re a good friend, but this is my first work-free weekend in months, and if I have to miss any more of 10 Things I Hate About You, I will eviscerate you with my work heels. Okay?” 

“Leaving!” he yelped. “Text us if you know where Rowan is, though, yeah?” 

“You’re the ones at his place, you can text him,” she returned. “Goodnight, Moon Moon. Don’t fall off any rooftops again.” 

“It was one time!” he yelled, but she’d already closed the door. 

Aelin went back down to her living room, plopped onto the couch, and grumbled something rather unpleasant about the amount of men who banged on her door at all hours of the day. “Coast is clear, Whitethorn,” she called. 

He came back into the living room a minute later. “Thanks for handling him, Ae.” 

“Anything for a little bit of peace, right?” His huff of a laugh tugged at a thread low in her stomach, but she ignored the odd sensation. “Let me know if you need anything that you can’t find. I’m gonna go upstairs and watch brain-rotting chick flicks until I fall asleep, but you’re more than free to watch one of those docuseries you have such a hard-on for.” 

“Aelin!” Rowan’s face reddened, and he choked out her name in a shocked, strangled cough. “Gods, why’d you have to say it like that?” 

“Because you’re too cute when you’re all flustered, buzzard,” she laughed. “G’night!” She headed upstairs to her bathroom, and after a very long shower and a solid half hour of carefully applying her skincare, she tugged one of her favorite nightgowns over her head and rolled into her bed. She could pick up the faint sounds of water running in the guest bathroom down the hall, and coupled with the soft whir of her ceiling fan, she was soon asleep. 

Only to pop awake not quite three hours later. 

Groaning, she rolled onto her other side and closed her eyes, taking deep steady breaths to try and encourage her restless mind to quiet down. As soon as she managed to quiet her roiling mind, though, her stomach rumbled. 

Traitor. 

Aelin flopped onto her stomach and ignored the growly rumble it emitted in protest, but the more she tried to fall back asleep, the more her body resisted. Finally, in defeat, she muttered a string of curses under her breath and rolled out of bed. She pushed her feet into her slippers, flicked on her bedside lamp, and crept out of her room and down the hall. She took the stairs slowly, because at least half of them creaked loud enough to wake the whole street if stepped on too firmly, but she eventually made it out to the kitchen. The glowing numbers on the oven clock flashed 1:55, taunting her with the ridiculous hour. 

Quietly, Aelin pulled open the pantry door, scanning the shelves quickly and finding nothing that sounded particularly good. She moved over to the fridge and glanced inside, huffing in irritation when she didn’t immediately think of anything quick to grab. After a few minutes, she gave up and opened the freezer, her fingers closing around the pint carton of ice cream tucked into the door shelf. She got a spoon from the drawer and sat down at one of the barstools at the high-top counter, not bothering with a bowl. 

She was only a few bites into the deliciously rich triple chocolate when heavier footsteps creaked on the stairs and a very sleepy, very mussed Rowan half-stumbled into the kitchen. 

His bleary gaze wandered around the kitchen, skipping over her once before snapping back to where she sat with her ice cream. The corners of his mouth tipped up, and he mumbled unintelligibly to himself. “Don’t fall over,” she heard him mumble, and he slid his hand along the countertop to guide his steps as he crossed the kitchen. Straight over to her. 

“Hey, you.” She couldn’t be entirely sure whether he was awake or sleepwalking, so she left her spoon in the carton of ice cream and stood up. “Having a good dream, Ro?” 

“’Bout to get even better.” His arms looped around her waist, and he dipped his head and kissed her. A soft hitched gasp broke from her lips, and she slid one hand up the back of his neck into his messy hair and angled his face so she could kiss him properly. It was a long, drawn-out moment before he pulled back, head tilted back to catch a gulping breath, and his eyes snapped back to hers, clear and aware. “Best dream ever.” 

She blinked slowly. “Ro, are you asleep?” 

“I gotta be.” He passed the pad of his thumb over her lips. “It’s the only time I get to kiss you like this, Ae.” 

“Rowan,” she breathed, heart skipping in her chest. “I…I’m awake.” 

His jaw went slack, and he impulsively grabbed her hand. “Pinch me.” 

“What?” 

“Pinch me, Ae. Gotta know if I’m still dreaming.” Obligingly, she pinched the skin at the crease of his elbow, and he let out a tiny, high-pitched squeak. “Fuck, that—am I awake?” 

“I’d imagine so.” Her eyes traveled slowly downwards, until they landed on their linked hands. “This wasn’t what I was expecting when I came down for midnight ice cream.” Uncertainty clouded his face, and she squeezed his hand. “It’s better.” 

Hope, bright and buoyant, broke free in his grin. “Really?” 

“Really.” She closed the distance between them, rolled up onto her tiptoes to meet his lips. “I think I’ve had this dream before, but it’s better in real life.” And she kissed him.

~~~

TAGS:

@live-the-fangirl-life

@superspiritfestival

@thegreyj

@wordsafterhours

@elentiyawhitethorn

@mariaofdoranelle

@rowanaelinn

@house-of-galathynius

@tomtenadia

@julemmaes

@swankii-art-teacher

@charlizeed

@booknerdproblems

@earthtolinds

@goddess-aelin

@sweet-but-stormy

@clea-nightingale

@autumnbabylon

@llyncooljones

@silentquartz

@renxzs

@anarchiii

@fauna-flora11

[cheerstotheelites-if]

RO Updated Look³ (but I'm actually satisfied)

Under the cut for my design and change ramblings + the old design if you wanna compare and see the changes.

Here they are, fully in technicolor. Blasted melanin into Weylyn, Eliseo, and Ophelia, because A) I dislike how washed out they looked in the old design, B) makes them actually look distinct and not muddled, and C) they are literally mixed race and that feels like an injustice to them (yes 'them', because I'm including Weylyn now (his other half is from his mother's side). The color palette for each of them (individually and together) looks better, now that it's less saturated and easier on the eyes since the colors are bit more muted now. The clothes are better now too, and look like something they would all actually wear on a normal day based on their style preference. Plus, noses! All of 'em got distinct nose shapes. I tried to give also their own eyeshapes, but I think I mostly failed at that. And, uh, I guess face shapes? Weylyn's the most noticeable compared to his old design, and I honestly am happy with how he looks now.

Fleur's the only one that changed the least, I swear. She only got a haircut and called it a day. Jasiel too, but I'm already satisfied with how I dressed him, so he's fine the way he is already. Just changed his color palette from the saturated traditonally drawn art of him by muting down his colors and gave him brass bronze colored eyes to differentiate him from his siblings' golden ones.

I'm still really happy about Zephyrine's redesign, makes her the girly I knew she was destined to be. It really makes her stand out more and gives a better impression of her, plus it oomfs her character silhouette which is nice. I'd like to imagine she thrifts her clothes frequently, so there are a few clothes she has that look worn and washed out and clearly refurbished by her. The golden zig-zag on her cardigan is put there by her since she found it plain without a little pizzaz, and the gray beads on the end of her skirt used to form a leaf patter for each pleat, but lost beads overtime, so Zeph just added more beads, not to remake the shape (god forbid her patience runs out before she even manages to make one), but more on mark the skirt as now hers and styled to her preference.

Weylyn and Cooper were eventually dragged in to the redesign, mostly with fixing their hair (especially Cooper's since I didn't like him looking similar to Eliseo's) and clothes. Cooper's fit needed to give him that goofy weirdo vibe I wanted for him, plus actually making him look more friend coded than, uh... whatever I had in mind for his old fit. He's a bit more bejeweled, as more of a subtle telling that this man comes from wealth and is also kinda eccentric. For Weylyn, besides minutely fixing his hair and gave him new clothes, I changed his eye color too to a more yellowy hue than the old gold-ish one. It's not that obvious on mobile, but I swear it is on PC when I was drawing. 😭

Finally, Ophelia and Eliseo. The latter is fully embracing the dark grunge with pierced ears, a bit more silver chains and more rings and all that black clothes. The yellow smiley face is based on the band Nirvana's iconic logo, I just made it drippy and the smile into a toothy one for the troublemaker vibes this dude is going for. I gave him a mullet now (I think it's a mullet yet I also refuse to believe it is), based on some bad boy hair pictures I used as reference from Pinterest. Ophelia, on the other hand, had layers remove, let her wear a grandpa sweater and brown pants instead of her shorts (permanently stained with mud from all the times she went out to the forest to find for beetles), have a little string with beads dangle from her belt line as a treat. Her hands wear fingerless gloves now, and her doc martens are now replaced with regular old sneakers and black socks to hide her scarred ankles. She's droopy eyed now and I think it fits her more now for her personality and story compared to her round eyes. I based that loosely on Anya from Mouthwashing.

I didn't do a uniform line up like last time for the RO's that attend Lumintoile, because that'll be it's own seperate thing alongside an updated uniform look in general for the students. So you'll see everyone (minus Cooper) wearing uniforms with one of three pairs wearing a uniform variant for the different seasons. I also do plan to make an updated relationship chart, to see what's going on now currently between the RO's now that the story has changed and a new contender has arrived.

Older designs for comparison (minus Jasiel bc the man was not a concept at the time of me making this 😭)

[t-mblr-begone]

HI I JUST FINISHED TNG AND AM AUTISTIC I NEED TO TALK (warning long ass post, ramblings)

Q in his stupid fucking judge outfit???? Oh my god i love him so much?? And like?? I dont even think he wanted to put picard on trial at the end he says it was the continuums orders so did he even want to do that too him? Who knows!! We do know hes gay as shit though oh my god. I love him.

The past, the Encounter At Farpoint, picard yelling for Q on the bridge and everyone probably thinking hes insane. Picard not telling any of them whats going on, even though it doesnt affect the other timelines. Tasha Yar???? Hi Tasha!!!!!! Worf with his old sash, the old uniforms, the shitty dress deanna wore in the first episode (it slayed), data being. So autistic. Liek actually hold on can i talk about tha

This episode, with all its converging timelines, really shows how data grows- not just as a character just in general, as the years go by on the ship, he starts understanding idioms, somewhat. He. He gets more human. He really does. His movements more fluid, hes smarter. He really does grow, something about his neural net constantly evolving or something. Oh my god.

The shitty future?? Worf liking Deanna Romantically Cannon??? Riker was still holding on to the relationship this whole time?? (I never noticed really. Im. Autistic.) PICARD AND CRUSHER GOT MARRIED. And then divorced BUT STILL. Picard back on earth?? Tending to what i can only assume to be grape plants or something, like his brother. Data teaches at Cambridge. He has grey hair, thinks it makes him more distinguished. Geordi has eyes! Like in two different timelines he has eyes.

Thats another thing actually, like i could have sworn at least in the earlier seasons, he didnt want. Eyes? I thought?? But like. It seems like a minor Thing, cause it showed up in that one Riker Gets Kidnapped By A Child Alien Because Its Lonely episode. And again here, and probably other places i can't remember because ive consumed all of tng in 2 months.

The present. I dont have shit to say about that actually. It sure is season 7.

OH MY GOD THE BEGINNING OF THW EPISODE BEFORE Q REAVEALS HIMSELF?? How we dont know if he Is travelling through time or if hes Going Senile. The cuts?? I mean the cuts through the whole episode is so good the cinematography in general!!!! Oh my god. The close ups, the panning, THE ACTING?? TASHA YAR??? EARLY WORF? OLD WORF? I like worf. GEORDI? DATA???? love brett spiner.

And i mean who remembers the judge scene from the first episode at this point? The foreshadowing with the jury(?)/audience(?) i didnt even. Realize until they put Picard on the stand again.

DEANNA BEING FUCKING DEAD IN THE FUTURE HELLO?????????????

Oh my god but the end scene. The end shot of the poker game? Imagine seeing the future, all your friends, drifted apart, tense at each other with worf and riker. Seeing that. And then coming back to reality, to Your Time. And seeing your friends as they are right then. Why didnt picard join them for poker?

No like actually. Did. Did he have a reason for that? Some like, weird captain thing? Or like. Some weird barrier wall thing? Thing where he feels like he should isolate himself.

But the point is, he joins his friends for some poker, i dont think he had probably played poker in years. Its just. Amazing.

You know. I think this is one of the first times ive seen her again and not cried, which is progress because every other time it was. Not great.

But now that tngs over

Hey does tumblr have a word limit? We're about to find out.

But now that tngs over, theres still a lot i have to ask. Like why the fuck did they do that to wesley? Do we see wesley again? Is still dont know who b-4 is. Whats Ro doing now? Is she good? Do we see her again? Does she know kira? Do ro and kira meet? Probably not actually. Itd probably be cool though. Do worf and deanna get married? Please. I ne- oh wait no they cant bc worf has a thing with jadzia at some point. What the fuck is up with worf and jadzia? And also where is alexander now? When does worf join ds9? Probably season 3 idk. Or Barclay? Cheif o'brien? Cause the show ran concurrently for a bit. WHY DONR WORF AND DEANNA GET MARRIED THEYRE LIKE PERFECT???? What the fuck is that guy with the ears damar? Gamar? I think its damar? Idk. Why he look like that? IS RO GOING TO DIE??

Oh hey i get to meet sisko, hes cool. He gets like visions or some shit. Q doesnt like him i think "picard never hit me ):" "im not picard."

Q and Quark. Odo and Q. Do we get to see the cunty judge outfit again? Why does he have a mustache when hes boxing sisko or whatever?

OH I GET TO SEE FUCK ASS DUKAT THEOW DARTS AT HIM EVIL. Fun.

Okay yeah im done

[corrodedseraphine]

perfectly wrong | #1 I wish you hadn't saved me

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

chapter summary: When you all get together to say goodbye to Corroded Coffin before going on tour, the evening ends with a standard argument between you and Steve. The next day, under the influence of a massive hangover, he wonders if he might have overreacted, when he gets called to help with a patient. From a conversation between a doctor and another nurse, he learns that the person who showed up is in a very difficult situation. He was definitely not ready for who he finds there.

TW: mentions of pregnancy, domestic violence, blood, wounds and bruises, let me know if I forgot about something!

The story is also avaliable on ao3

masterlist | steve harrington masterlist | general masterlist

@phantypurple thank you so much for helping me with this whole "enemies" thing, I am new in it and your support really helped me ❤

Before we start!I don't have much knowledge about pregnancy, being a nurse etc, which doesn't change the fact that I will try to do research and write everything in the best way possible, I hope you will forgive me!

In the beginning, everything may seem quite chaotic, I do not hide it and I realize that after reading the first chapter you will be a bit confused and many questions will appear, but with each chapter I will try to develop it and clear up doubts.

Your opinion, feedback, questions or ideas are always welcome! If there is something what would you like to see in the story feel free to tell me about it in comments or in my inbox which is always open for you guys! Thank you so much for reading!

As soon as you crossed the threshold of The Hideout Robin immediately shouted your name. You cut through the crowd of people and with a smile on your lips made your way to your friends. Today was Corroded Coffin's first concert after the "earthquake." When Eddie finally recovered from everything that had happened he couldn't wait m until he returned to the stage. At first everyone thought that after what he experienced in the Upside Down he wouldn't be able to look at a guitar again, but he surprised you all. All the experiences inspired him to write many of the songs that, with the help of the government, will make up the band's first album. So this was the first and last concert for the guys before they set out to follow their dreams. You as good friends couldn't miss it.

"Am I late?" you asked, sitting down between Robin and Argyle. 

"No, they are just getting ready to go on stage. I'm glad you're here." your friend said. 

"I know, Ro. I'm sorry." You said grabbing her hand with a gentle expression on your face. Since your private life had turned everything around you had kept your encounters with other people to a minimum. You isolated yourself completely, however, you couldn't miss today's concert, you knew it was too important to just not come. 

"And who my beautiful eyes see!" Steve shouted and with a loud clang he set down his beer bottle. This was definitely not his first. "Look who has kindly decided to show up!"

"I really don't have the energy for your drama, Steve." You sighed rolling your eyes. 

"Woah! So you know my name?" he fiercely rambled on. 

This is what it looked like. Your relationship with Steve was...complicated. No one expected you to end up at a stage where you couldn't stand each other in the same room. The sarcastic comments from his mouth were something quite gentle anyway. Normally you wouldn't have let it go however today you really didn't have the strength to do so, so you just ignored him and didn't answer anything.

The concert was going nicely, one could say too nicely, considering that for over an hour you didn't hear a single offensive word in your direction, and you really enjoyed your first meeting with friends in a long time. Unfortunately, it was the lull before the storm. 

Steve definitely needed to de-stress, from what Robin told you he had failed a pretty important exam, so he decided to drown his sorrows in alcohol. Beer after beer he became more and more fussy and irritated. He was like a walking time bomb that went off when you refused Eddie's proposed drink. 

"Now aren't we worthy of you having a drink with us?" he mischievously snorted with laughter. 

"Steve, I really don't have the strength to deal with you tonight." 

"And that's not the case? It seems that instead of having a drink with the people you claim to be your friends you prefer the company of your boyfriend and his pile of alcoholics. Did you start doing drugs with them, too?" he leaned back on his elbows. You knew he wouldn't let go, wouldn't let go until the two of you started arguing and he would pour out all his frustration that way. You could feel your blood boiling inside you and you were feeling breathless. "What? You won't say anything? You always have too much to say." He grinned feeling that he had the upper hand over you.

"Do I look like I want to debate with you?" You snapped. 

"I don't know, through that ton of makeup it's hard to read what your real expression is." 

"Steve!" Robin interrupted you. "Control yourself!"

"You're still defending her?!" He got what he wanted. He got his five minutes. "For the last two weeks she does nothing but ignore you, and then I'm the one who has to hear about how much you miss her! You consider her your friend and she just doesn't give a shit about you! All of you!" 

"It's not true!" you wanted to defend yourself. In truth you really wanted to, but you knew that from their point of view it really all looked like that. 

"Yes? Then what was more important than meeting your friend, what was more important than being there for her when she needed you when Vicky broke her heart?" He knew he was in control and it made him happy. Unhealthy pleasure derived from your embarrassment and confusion. 

"What? Robin, why-" you were shocked. You had no idea. 

"Are you going to ask now why she didn't tell you? Let me explain." He didn't waste a moment to crush you into the ground even more. He was giving you needle after the needle. "She wanted to tell you, but of course you didn't have time for her. I don't even know which hopeless excuse on your part it was then why you supposedly couldn't meet. But no problem, you can rehabilitate yourself and tell the truth now." He crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his satisfied gaze into you. You opened your mouth to say something but quickly closed it and pressed your lips into a thin line. He was right, you yourself no longer remembered which excuse you used then. You were already lost in them, but the truth would not pass your throat for anything in the world. Not when all eyes were on the two of you. Not when Steve humiliated you without considering how many people were around. "That's what I thought. What about Max and El? Did you forget about them too? Do you know that since you stopped helping El with her lessons she barely manages to pass? Do you think you are better than them? You don't deserve any of them. No one!" 

You couldn't stay standing there any longer. Feeling tears coming to your eyes without saying a word, you began to push through the crowd to the exit. You had no idea about Robin, you had no idea about El, you had no idea about anything. Locked in your own tragedy, you also cut yourself off from those who could always count on you and left them without the support they had become so accustomed to. He was right. You hated him for the way he treated you, but you hated yourself even more for the fact that everything he said was the cruel and painful truth. Moreover, by leaving you gave him another reason for which he could haunt you. You didn't stay to say goodbye to Eddie and the rest of the boys before they left. They would only be back in three months, and by then nothing would be the same.

You walked ahead wiping away tears. No matter how much you wanted you couldn't go back there. You weren't able to. Life was crashing down on your head, and his comments and reminders of what a hopeless person you were made you feel even worse. You wanted to disappear. To sink into the ground, to run away somewhere where your problems wouldn't reach you, but this couldn't happen. You were grounded here. Ironically, you would rather be grounded in the Upside Down now than be in your current situation. 

When you arrived at the house you tried to enter as quietly as you could. In your spirit you prayed that your boyfriend, Travis, would already be asleep and not wake up. Unfortunately, fate decided to test your strength once again. Inside you found him sitting in front of the TV and an almost empty bottle of vodka standing on the coffee table. 

"Where the hell have you been?!" he asked as soon as he heard your footsteps in the hallway. At that moment you already knew that a very long night was ahead of you. 

Drinking so much alcohol the day before the morning shift was not a wise idea. Feeling dehydrated and drained of life, he sat in an uncomfortable chair with a face hidden in his hands and a nasty headache. He had just taken a painkiller, so it will have to be a long while before it takes effect. In addition, he couldn't stop thinking about yesterday's events. You never gave up when it came to arguing. Everything always ended in a shouting match. You were never so...quiet? Confused? Lost? You never showed your feelings either. Certainly not in front of him. Nor have you ever walked away with tears in your eyes. Did he exaggerate this time? Guilt slowly crept into his head.

"Tough night?" he heard from behind him. It was Judy, one of the senior nurses who had not run away from Hawkins after everything. She was also one of the better ones who saw him as more than just the Harringtons' son. She treated him like a normal trainee, for which he was grateful.

"Mhmmm." he muttered, still not opening his eyes. "We were saying goodbye to Eddie before going on tour," he said.

"I can't believe he finally made it. Do you think I'll be able to brag about how I changed his bandages?" she laughed quietly while making herself some coffee.

"I'm sure he'll write a song about it." he replied with a joke and fell silent. The silence between them was broken by the doctor's entrance into the room.

"She's here again." she sighed heavily. "Another 'fall'."

"Are you sure we can't report this anywhere?" Judy pinched the tip of her nose and furrowed her brow. This person's condition must have really worried her.

"If we report domestic violence and she denies everything the police won't do anything anyway,"

"She is pregnant, Linda. This is a very serious case." 

"The only thing we can do at this point is to talk some sense into her and try to persuade her to agree to help."

"She's as stubborn as a mule, and I doubt she'll agree,"

"Sooner or later it will come to her that she will have a child and it is its safety that should be the most important thing for her. For this moment we have to go, Steve you will take care of sewing up the wound, and you Judy will help me with the gynecological examination."

"Come on boy..." the nurse sighed patting him on the back. 

He walked sluggishly along the corridor contemplating the women's conversation. How scared must this girl have been that she didn't run away from this deviant? Did she really have no one to help her? 

Entering the room, he was not ready for the sight that awaited him there. In the sterile white room, you sat in a chair staring at the floor, pressing a towel to your shoulder. A towel that was soaked with blood. When you raised your eyes and noticed him you froze. Steve also turned pale with surprise and horror at your condition. You were the girl they were talking about. The truth seemed too horrible to believe right away. There was a nasty bruise on your face, and when you moved the towel away from your arm an elongated wound appeared, from which blood would not stop pouring.

"What happened to you dear child?" Judy asked, looking at you with compassion in her eyes. Although you were no longer such a child, legally in every aspect you were already an adult. You quickly tore your gaze away from Steve and looked at the older nurse.

"I- I fell over. I fell on a glass bottle and a piece of it stuck in my shoulder...the blood won't stop flowing, when I fell I also hit my stomach, it hurts a lot, I was scared that..." you said quietly, ashamed looking at a single point on the floor. You knew that neither the doctor nor the nurse believed you. You also knew that, as if on a platter, you had given another reason from which Steve could create another level of your personal hell. He, however, was still looking on in disbelief at what was happening. The whole situation seemed to him as if it was made up. It was impossible that it was really you, that you were sitting completely defenseless as a victim of domestic violence. A pregnant victim of domestic violence. Holy shit, he was getting weak. It wasn't possible that after all you'd been through in the Upside Down, life was putting more hurdles in your way. You were fighting monsters from another dimension and you couldn't deal with your boyfriend? He didn't understand anything anymore.

"Steve take care of the wound. Make sure there's no more glass there, clean it up and apply stitches. We'll be back in a minute to do the rest of the examination." Dr. Linda ordered and together she and Judy went to get the equipment needed.

Not knowing how to behave, he simply began to prepare everything and sat very close to you. He took a deep breath. A very uncomfortable silence fell between you and the atmosphere was tense. After putting on his gloves, he gently grabbed your hand with both hands to take a closer look at the wound. Your inhalation stopped midway and your body stiffened all over. 

"Do you need some anesthetic? It might hurt." He said in a nervous voice and corrected his glasses. 

"I can handle it." you muttered.

"Are you sure? It really can-" 

"I'm sure, Harrington." You growled interrupting him and turned your head toward the window, and he silently began to dispose of the glass shards. 

Your hissing in pain did not escape his attention. To make matters worse, he also noticed the single tears that flew down your cheeks. As he was putting the stitches in place memories of last night began to fly through his head. Everything he said in your direction. Every word went straight to the heart of the problem. Glancing at your face every now and then, he could feel it getting fainter as he stopped at the purple area under your eye. Now he knew why you were wearing so much makeup. He knew what you wanted to hide and that scared him even more. He now understood why you refused to have a drink. Everything seemed so obvious now. Why didn't you tell anyone about this? He thought of the evening when Robin cried her eyes out because of Vicky. He was furious with you for not even being there for her at such a time. He was furious that you left her alone, but now he knew. He knew why, he knew the reason you canceled all your meetings. You didn't want anyone to know about what was going on. But now he knew now. This realization became a burden he didn't know how to lift.

"Y/n, listen...I- I want to apologize for yesterday. I was an asshole, I shouldn't have said all that." he said quietly. Shocked, you looked at him. He had said many awful things about you but never apologized for it. After a moment, though, surprise turned into a stony face. 

"I don't need your sympathy or pity." you replied dryly. "You don't need to lie about being sorry, I know that's not true."

"Y/n..." normally he would have already started to get irritated that you wouldn't accept an apology causing another argument, but now he didn't feel an ounce of anger at you. He himself didn't know exactly what he felt. 

"You weren't supposed to find out about all this. Believe me, if I didn't have to I wouldn't be sitting here right now, sitting here with you is much worse." He was already used to these kinds of words coming from your mouth, but never in his life had it been accompanied by tears, and he knew it must have meant you were on edge. "But there is one thing we agree on." You looked him straight in the eye. "I wish you hadn't saved me that night too." you were too tired. You had survived one hell only to immediately land in another. After a sleepless night and a morning full of screaming, you no longer had the strength to keep up the mask that everything was fine and you were handling it. Your life was one big mess and this was just the beginning. 

"No, y/n-" before he could say anything further the women came back into the room. He knew what they were talking about. He remembered perfectly the moment when he said those words, and to this day he regretted it. No matter how bad the relationship between the two of you looked, he knew it was too much.

"How's the arm?" the Doctor asked when they returned to the room.

He coughed before speaking. "I took out the remaining shards of glass and cleaned it carefully. Just two more stitches and everything will be ready." 

"Well done." She praised him by sending him a warm smile, and then turned to you. "You mentioned very severe abdominal pains, I'd like you to lie down now. We'll run some tests to make sure the baby is okay." 

To make sure the baby is okay. Baby. You were pregnant. You were pregnant and a victim of domestic violence. I wish you hadn't saved me that night too. Your words gained more and more frightening meaning making his heart sinking. 

While the examinations were being carried out he took care of cleaning up the position after sewing up your hand. This did not take long. Dr. Linda reassured you by saying that everything was fine, but pointed out that you should try to avoid stressful situations. What did that even mean? Your life now was one big stressful situation, how the hell were you supposed to avoid it? 

"Now listen to me carefully." she looked at you. "If you ever decide to talk to someone about your "falls", remember that you are safe here and we can help you. You just have to let us do it. We'll take care of you and the baby, okay?" 

You just nodded your head. You couldn't do that. You couldn't get away from him no matter how much you wanted to. "Let me walk you out." You quickly got up and followed the doctor.

Before leaving you looked at Steve one last time. He wanted to say something, anything that would erase all of yesterday's words, but it was impossible. With a broken expression on his face, he could only watch the door close behind you and think about the fact that you were on your way home, where your abuser was waiting for you. He involuntarily clenched his fists at the very thought that Travis might once again lay a hand on you. He was filled with emotions he couldn't recognize. 

"You know this girl, don't you?" Judy asked with a sigh. Steve just nodded affirmatively. "You're a good guy, Steve. It's good that she has a friend like you." Her words were like a strong punch.

Oh Judy, if only you knew...

taglist (guys thank you so much for wanting to be in the taglist before the story even started! I really hope you won't be too dissapointed!): @i-me-mine @phantypurple @sheisjoeschateau @hollandweather

[ddwcaph-game]

Okay, so I know I said MC can only have one mutual crush... but after thinking about it, I'm considering making an exception, and adding a triad "poly-crush" option between Wayne, Cham, and MC.

If this is something you're not interested in, I want to make it clear that this is just an option—having a crush on Wayne will NOT automatically make the triad a thing. He will not even get the idea unless MC suggests it as a possibility.

So why am I considering adding this option?

I don't remember if I mentioned this before, but if your MC doesn't get into a mutual crush with Wayne by the start of Volume 5, then Wayne and Cham will "get together" in Volume 6, because that's what happens in the original version of my novel before I made it an IF. Their ship name is actually Champayne, hehe. 🥂

If you're someone who dislikes pursuing ROs who gets together with someone else if you're not pursuing them (thinking that your MC is only getting in the way), I figured adding this option will somewhat alleviate that issue.

Now, MC having a mutual crush on Wayne won't prevent his attraction to Cham (especially because it's not even an official relationship with MC yet), but because of their unusual circumstances, Wayne will be just as happy being with MC. So yes, Wayne will not even get the idea, unless MC develops a crush on Cham too and suggests the possibilty of a poly-relationship (MC only gets the idea because the group encounters a polygamous family in Volume 2).

Which brings me to my next point: A minor issue I have with Cham as a crush option, is that she is fairly similar to Wayne, personality-wise (if Wayne was oblivious rather than flirty). Now that's not exactly a problem, but I figured: if you like Wayne, then it's very likely that you will like Cham as well—which should make the poly option feel more natural.

Of course, Wayne will be very receptive to the idea. When you finally get the mutual crush talk with Wayne, he'll actually tell MC that he won't get mad or jealous if MC shows attraction to someone else. MC will get the choice too if they're okay with Wayne teasing and (non-seriously) play-flirting with others, but if not, Wayne will try to honor MC's wishes, and the triad option will not appear at all.

This might be a bit of a spoiler regarding Wayne's parents, but I think it's important to mention that both Nestor and Mary would be totally supportive of the idea (yes, Mary too, but not for the reasons you're probably thinking), so you don't have to worry about that.

Finally, the last reason for me adding this option is... I just think it's fun to write. 😄 Cham is just fun to write in general, and I hate that she doesn't appear in the story for a long time.

Now, the jury's still out on whether Cham will stay as a stand-alone crush option, but that really depends on how popular Cham is, and I have no real way of gauging that when you don't even meet Cham until Volume 5.

Will there be more poly-crush options in the future? Most likely not. The only reason I even considered this as an option is because Wayne and Cham are the perfect candidates for it, and I don't see any other combination of crush options working out.

It's still a very long time before I can actually make this happen, but if this is something you're interested in, please let me know your thoughts! 😊

[weepinwriter]

NIKITA TAKES SOME INSPO FROM WARNER?!? AND NOT EVEN BOOK 2/3 WARNER, ONLY BOOK 1 WARNER??? I don't know whether to be terrified or excited 😭 I'll stay even further away from N than I was already planning to, his route is listed as "betrayal", and I can't handle not knowing where I stand with ROs. They can hate me or like me or are just using me, idc, BUT I NEED TO KNOW WHICH IT IS. Is N attached to MC at all or is he lying when he says that they were close? Am I gonna get "Oh, Anna if there was only some who loved you"-ed??!?? I CAN'T TAKE THAT MYSTERY, ITS SO STRESSFUL. That's why I like G, please have very obvious spiteful feelings and try to kill me 😌 Suspense kills me more than actual murder, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME NIKITA??? Nothing?? To drown me in a lake? For MC to get attached and then crush them?? I'm fine w/ whatever, just don't leave me in the dark 😭 He triggers my anxiety, I asdfghjkk

OMGGGGG PLEASE DON'T BE WORRIED(or should you be?) I ONLY TOOK A LIL BIT OF INSPO BECAUSE I THOUGHT "HEY WOULDN'T IT BE COOL TO HAVE MYSTERIOUS HOT MORALLY GRAY CHARACTER IN THE BEGINNING TO SERVE AS A POTENTIAL ANTAGONIST TO HURT THE MC" 😭 and heck I'm not even sure what I was thinking when I made him, i just like making my followers anxious and shake in their seats in anxiety I guess 🤣 just kidding! (or am I?) Whatever you think of him, it's up to you, but all I can say that based on your decisions, Nikita could either be an ally or enemy. He's that type of character, one you can never completely trust, yet you're forced to. As of now, N sees the MC as nothing but a source of entertainment to liven up his boring life a little, and indeed he does know MC. very well at that, before they lost all their memories that is. And he quite possibly played a big role in that. That's all I can tell you for now, but until you completely know his intentions, Nikita will continue to make you anxious with his sardonic smiles and secret riddles :)

[tomtenadia]

Detours to you - ch 5

I have a day off and it's the perfect time to post. I wrote a lot thins morning and I think I am about 2 or 3 chapters away from the ending.

For now I' ll leave you with this chapter

The following morning Rowan stood in front of a fancy building where his friend Vaughan had his law firm. He had texted him the night before for help after the exchange with Aelin. He wanted to ask an opinion to his friend and see if there was a road available without going through a full custody battle. He wanted to be in his daughter’s life but Aelin was settled on fighting him on that front. 

He took a deep breath and entered the building. In front of his friend’s office he knocked and waited to be invited in.

“Rowan! So the gossip is true, you are back!”

“Indeed I am.”

“Look at you,” Vaughan pointed at his uniform “Chief nonetheless. How does it feel?”

“Still adjusting,” he admitted.

Both men sat down and Vaughan relaxed in his chair “Before we start, it’s my obligation to tell you that I deal in criminal law. If you decide to really go ahead with this, I would suggest you to get a family law lawyer and I can help you with that.”

“I just need some counselling for now.”

Vaughan nodded “Your situation is complicated. In case of divorce or separation the parents can agree on joint custody, physical, legal or both. But you and Aelin are not divorced or separated which complicates things.”

Rowan nodded.

“As it stands now Aelin is the sole legal guardian which means that it’s up to her to decide how much access you can have to Maya.” He explained “As it stands you have a very weak claim.”

“Surely the fact that I was lied to will count. The fact that I want to be involved in my daughter’s life must weigh something. I was robbed of five years of her life.”

“If you go to court you will have to prove that your presence in Maya’s life would be beneficial.”

Rowan groaned “Of course, I am the father.”

“Yes, but the judge will consider how this will affect Maya. I assume you haven’t told her yet?”

Rowan shook his head “No, Aelin wants me to be just a friend for now.”

“They will consider all of this. Assess if your job will allow you to look after her, if you can provide for her. But more importantly,” he paused “if Maya does not want you in her life that will likely block any kind of access to her.”

“How on earth am I going to build a rapport with her if I can’t be with her?”

Vaughan nodded “I suggest that you and Aelin take some time to discuss all of this. Try to create a plan, a schedule, but most of all tell Maya as soon as possible that you are her father.”

“Aelin will not agree to that.”

“In my humble opinion at the moment she sees you as a stranger who knows her mum, with a very superficial relationship. The moment you tell her the truth that’s when the real thing can develop.”

Rowan let out a ragged breath “This is so fucked up.”

Vaughan chuckled “Oh yes. That’s why I’d rather put criminal behind bars than witness parents fighting over who has the right to the children. It was enough to hear the horror story from Lorcan’s parents divorce battle to actually put me off family law completely.”

“One more thing, do you know if Aelin has added your name to the birth certificate? Because that could be a game changer.”

Rowan shook his head then looked at his watch “I have to go to work. I have a meeting in an hour. Thanks. I have a lot to consider. And I will do some investigating on the birth certificate.”

Vaughan stood and patted him on the shoulder “Talk it out Ro. Do not involve lawyers and keep me posted.”

“Will do.”

Rowan left the building and went back to work mulling over Vaughan’s words.

*

That morning Aelin’s bookshop had a special guest. Maya was staying at the shop with her. She had kept her home from school for a day. She hadn’t slept much because of her injury and when she suggested to go to her grandparents, her daughter had refused so she took her to work. Maya loved the bookstore and presently was sitting at the children’s table and showing off her cast to other kids. She was holding court that it was a hockey injury.

Aelin smiled but her protective senses kicked in. She had also spent the night thinking about the argument she had with Rowan. She had not liked the comment with the telescope, as if he was inviting her to his place. Maya was her responsibility and he should pass any ideas through her first. She was going to allow him in but on her own terms. 

Maya ran to her “Mama, look at my drawing!”

Aelin grabbed the paper and gasped. It was a drawing of her and Rowan on the ice “Can you give it to Rowan?” Her heart raced. One meeting was that all it took for Maya to get attached to him?

“I will do the next time I see him. I am sure he will love it.”

“He is funny.” Maya grinned and walked away happily back to the drawing table.

“What is that?” Asked Lysandra walking to the counter and noticing the drawing.

“Maya drew a present for Rowan.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Torn. He is too pushy.”

Lysandra sighed “Or maybe he is just a father eager to spend time with his daughter,” she added “You can’t blame him for being smitten already. She is the cutest.”

“That she is.”

“Or maybe it’s all down to the fact that you still have feelings for him?”

Aelin scoffed hard “No.”

“Ae, you two had been together almost forever and I am sure that if he hadn’t left, you’d be married by now. Aeds told me that he caught Rowan looking at jewellery stores online for engagement rings. I think that he confessed him he was waiting for the store to be completed and then propose in here.”

Aelin froze. Rowan was going to propose in her store. Her hand went to her mouth and stopped the sob that was fighting to be let free.

“Why you never told me?”

“He was away, it seemed pointless, but now…” added Lysandra quietly “Maybe it’s worth try and pick up from where you left off. For Maya’s sake too.”

Aelin ran a hand through her hair “my mum said the same thing.”

Lysandra grinned “we all know that Evalin is a wise woman.”

“Ae, you two broke up because he had to leave and long distance was going to be hell, not because you stopped being in love,” Lys spotted some customers “Think about it.” And walked away.

Aelin stared at the computer and at the order that was still open and ready to be sent.

Lys was right they had broken up because the situation was difficult, not because they had fallen out of love. It had taken her a long time to stop missing him and she had a feeling that with time she had only pushed him at the back of her mind but never forgot him. How could she? Rowan had been the love of her life and her home. And in that instant she felt an ache in her soul that she had thought had gone forever. 

Her soul was missing its other half and Aelin knew that everything was all of a sudden a lot more complicated.

*

Rowan went back to his office after his meeting with the commissioner. Chin on his folded hands he stared at the screen in front of him. He was looking at the proposal they had discussed together but his brain was not focusing. He kept thinking about the fight he had with Aelin and the chat he had with Vaughan. His friend had given him some good suggestions. 

He was about to type something on his keyboard when someone knocked at the door.

“Chief, I bring some of the reports from yesterday from the firehouses.” The woman dropped the documents on his desk.

“Thank you, Lyria.” 

Rowan ignored the pile of documents staring at him and started doing some research on family law and the rights of the father in an unmarried couple. He read a few websites and all told the same line. Unless he was married to the mother or had obtained a parental responsibility agreement by a court he would have no rights. He wanted to scream. Then he remembered what Vaughan had said about the birth certificate and started to investigate on the city council how to access the registrar for births. He knew the date so at least he had that. It took him a good fifteen minutes of digging before finally finding the registrar. He registered, followed all the steps and reached the portal to retrieve the certificate. He typed Maya’s name and surname and then her date of birth. A moment later a document appeared in front of him. On the mother line there was Aelin’s name. He was ready for an empty space near the father’s section but he gasped in surprise when he saw his name. Rowan Whitethorn stood there in black capital letters.

He saved the document quickly and then sat back against his chair. Aelin had registered him as the father. It really was a game changer. The law stated that if the father appeared on the birth certificate he’d have same rights as the mother. Why had Aelin added him? He was even more confused, but at least now he knew that he was not totally powerless. A sense of relief washed over him. He still had to convince Aelin that he was serious about wanting to know Maya. It had only been a few days and they were all still adjusting to the new situation. He might give her some days to think about it. 

A small break before trying again. 

*

After Maya was fully asleep in bed, Aelin climbed in the attic and grabbed a box that had not touched in five years. It contained some of the things that reminded her of Rowan. Of the years they had lived together in that house, the dreams. After the break up she had stashed all the stuff away.

She sat on the floor and removed the lid and their past flooded back like a tsunami. A green foam finger of the first game of the Stags they had watched together, the CDs he had burned for her, movie tickets and photo albums, a lot of them. She picked one and opened it. It was their first trip to Wendlyn, when she had met his parents. His clan had welcomed her in with open arms. One one page there was a picture of Alasdair, Rowan’s dad, hugging her. Tears welled in her eyes. She had loved the man, he was caring and had loved her like a daughter from day one. There were pictures of their trip the the southern islands when they had rented a boat and explored the continent. She scrolled through the photos and saw one of her sitting on the bow of the boat while still docked and then noticed the name Maya. Memories came rushing back of the night when, while moored in the middle of the sea, they lay on the deck, made love under the stars and Rowan confessed that he liked the name and they should use it if they ever had a daughter. After her daughter was born the nurse had asked her if she had a name and Aelin had blurted out Maya almost on instinct.

Then, at the bottom of the box she found a letter with a sonogram attached to it. With trembling hands she read it.

Dear Rowan,

While I am writing this, you are probably on the boat towards Wendlyn, towards home.

I am sorry. I want you to know that breaking up things was not easy. I wish I could take it back because it hurts like hell. You are my home and should be here.

But I had to let you go because your mum needs you and I can’t be selfish, not when you have just lost your father.

And now, more than ever, I understand this since I discovered that I am pregnant with your child. I am mad at fate. We had dreams of a family and now that is happening I had to let you go.

I am sorry.

I hope one day you will be able to forgive me.

I love you,

To whatever end.

Then another letter with a picture of a newborn Maya

Dear Rowan,

You are a dad. Maya is born and she is the most beautiful gift I could have asked for.

Yes, Maya like the boat. I listen, see?

She is just like you, her hair is silver as yours as she has your piercing green eyes.

A bit of you, when you are away.

I miss you but I am too scared to call you because the secret I kept from you is too big.

I miss you so much.

And another with a picture of an older Maya

Dear Rowan,

Maya turned one today.

It’s been over a year since I let you go and… I miss you. She said her first word and she crawls all over the house. I baby-proofed our flat because in my head I had your voice telling me to make the house safe. You are always with me. 

I am sorry. I don’t know if you will ever read these letters but I just need to tell you that I am sorry. I hope that you are happy. That your mum is fine.

And the dreamer in me hopes to see you again.

I love you. I will always love you.

At the bottom of the letter there was a small hand print. It was Maya’s.

She had forgot of all the letters she wrote to him. Most of them had pictures of Maya and tales of some important milestones.

One by one she grabbed all the letters and set them aside.

Then she climbed back down and placed the pile in the drawer of her nightstand.

To whatever end… she whispered.

A promise that they had exchanged a long time ago.

A promise that she had broken.

taglist

@rowaelinismyotp @swankii-art-teacher @whimsicallyreading @elentiyawhitethorn @aelin-bitch-queen @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity  @mis-lil-red @thegreyj @sailorsassley @leiawritesstories @clairec79 @morganofthewildfire @sv0430 @heartless--aromantic @autumnbabylon @rowanaelinn @backtobl4ck @susumaus98  @gracie-rosee @mybloodrunsblue @tanvee1231 @avenrebekah @whoever-you-choose-to-love  @theywillnotsingforme @universallytreepost @black-daisy-water @goddess-aelin @whispers-in-the-darkest-heart @lovely-dove-zee @athena127

[manwalksintobar]

In the Garden // Alice Notley

Did you ever see that movie, Ted said, who knows what words he used? It was about the TVA, in the 30s; Montgomery Clift is the TVA man, who enters a remote community to do-whatever, and has a ro- mance with Lee Remick. So, at the end, she poles him back across the river, because he's done and he's leaving her, and then she's alone in the boat, or raft, going home, and she sings "In the Garden." The hymn. Which begins, "I come to the garden alone." With the refrain, "And he walks with me/ and he talks with me/ and he tells me I am his own…" It had been my father's favorite hymn, so I sang a bit of it to Ted. Then he said he'd never forget Lee Remick singing that song, so simply; and now I can always see and hear it too, though I never did. I'll never forget it. I recently bought a CD of Elvis Presley singing devotional songs. I wanted to hear "Peace in the Valley," and found "In the Garden" there too, in this collection of rather austere, mixed-race gospel. The feeling in his voice is true, esthetic but awed, in its purity of musical heart. "Peace in the Valley" was sung at my brother's funeral, by a man we all knew, a former coach and gym teacher. He accompanied himself on the guitar. Before the service the family members were alone together, at a long table in a room to the side of the church. I broke down in there and had to be comforted by my mother. "If you want to know who feels the most for each other, it's the sisters and brothers," she said. The day before, we had all been at the viewing in the mortuary, no longer run by the family that had tended to everyone's remains while I was growing up. I sat next to my uncle, who was caught by how my mother was standing: "She looks like my mother," he said. I remember she was wearing a skirt, which she hardly ever did anymore, and her legs looked vulnerable, thin, a lot like Grandma's. Then my uncle became upset; and he later said he'd heard my brother's voice calling out to him: "Bill! Bill!" These are the same stories as always, and I almost understand them hearing the songs; the religious feeling becomes connected less to a god, than to shapes for grief stripped to shape alone. If you can see that shape in its simplicity, you can live in it. I come to the garden alone, and there's no one there; that's better. There was no one in the boat with her, as she poled back across the river.

[ohem1111]

no one acknowledged roslyn’s birthday, not even her mother, the one who gave birth to her on that very day all those years ago.

during eden’s little 4am trip downstairs for something to satisfy her pregnancy craving she notices roslyn sleeping outside. in that moment she is furious, storms out and wakes her up.

eden: “roslyn ivy elmore what do you think you are doing out side at this hour, and sleeping even, you are going to get sick and i can’t have that around me right now”

roslyn: “mom, i-”

eden: “get to your room i don’t want to hear it”

roslyn: “no mom, you will hear it, whether you listen or not, you will hear me. you wanna know why i’m out here? aside from the fact that i literally sit out here to watch the sunrise every morning, not that you’ve ever cared or noticed.”

eden: “roslyn don’t y-”

roslyn: “mom i am out here right now instead of in my own bed is because i’m letting bram sleep there. because guess what, you never bought him a new bed that he can actually sleep in.” eden’s face instantly realizes how greatly she has been neglecting her own children lately.

roslyn: “maybe if you’d take a break from popping out kids, you would be able to pay attention to the ones you already have. and you don’t have to keep pretending we don’t know mom. we know you are pregnant again right now.”

eden: “ros… i don’t know what to say”

roslyn: “you could try ‘happy birthday’ but you’d be approximately 4 hours and 53 minutes to late for that to still be accurate.”

eden: “we were waiting for the right time to tell you.”

roslyn: “right time to tell me what?! that you are pregnant? why do you think i care that much, it’s barely even anything knew at this point. could you even tell me any of your other kids birthdays or is it just mine that you forget.”

eden: she stands up defeated, and says something roslyn would have bever guessed she’d hear next, “come inside i’ll have the butler put together the guest room” not an ‘i’m sorry.’ not a ‘happy birthday.’ not even that she would be the one to get the guest room together for herself. she didn’t even use the butlers name.

roslyn: “i already told you, i am watching the sunrise”

eden walks back into the house without another second of time put into trying to righting all of the wrongs that we’re just addressed during their fight.

as eden watched the late night sky beginning to slowly fade into early morning she sends up a signal to space for anyone, anything to take her away from this nightmare she is in.

who knows, maybe the stars will do more than just listen this time.

previous || next

i wish that tumblr had more text color options because i’m bummed that i won’t be able to have a special text colors for the next two gens. also surprise, we are about to start gen 4!

also also: im mad at myself for not checking mccc occult section for what ages could be abducted, (because of course that is something you can change with mccc) i wanted to do it while she was a child but i assumed that because teens could attempt to contact aliens then she could possibly get abducted but i was wrong there too, the default is only young adults and up so if you are doing this challenge, i recommend editing that setting before you unnecessarily age up your sim like i did LOL

also also alsoooo: (also is basically my ps. at this point lol) eden is basically done with her gen. all she needs to do is keep having babies until she is an elder which i don’t care to stay in the household until she is an elder, and she can get married now that she is an adult. her and dorian were already engaged by accident because dorian called odin when he was a child saying he found a ring in eden’s bag and asked odin what to say but i didn’t know that saying he should say yes would automatically make them engaged LOL so i don’t even have screenshots of that. i’ll just have them elope eventually, i don’t care to do a wedding with them.

[shibe-myths]

Stealing this from another blog paraphrasing cause I couldn’t find it.

What if our MC, which has been feeling numb for a long time. At some point look into the eyes of the RO and say something like “When I’m with you I feel alive. Did you do that?".

What will be the reaction of the ROs? Apprentice too cause she’s a cutie!

Awww, anon that ask is so cute! Please tell me where you saw that! I wanna read their stuff.

As for your ask:

Apprentice: The reverse of this ask is actually a spoiler. But I assume if the MC asked the Apprentice this she would be:

Crying from joy and guilt. She has no words.

Lady B: She looks as if the air has been taken from her lungs, wide eyed and lost. She brings the MC close and cries. A rarity for the ex-Sultana.

"I did no such thing. It is you who brought me to life."

Bernie: There is a moment where Bernie stares at the MC, shocked, before the full brunt of their weight is rammed into the MC. Crying and laughing. They whisper:

"You make me feel alive too."

Laz: Shock consumes them. For once they have no words. No quips. Only questions left unanswered. Did they?

"I... I don't know... is that a good thing?"

Amyntas: Disbelief consumes his features, mouth agape and lost. Flies would surely make a home within if he isn't careful. He has tried to KILL you and yet, you feel alive with him? What the fuck is wrong with them?

"You are a strange one."

Bishop: For once the usually silent man falls to his knees and laughs. And laughs. If not for his immortality, one might think he'd die from it.

"By the blood of us all, I did no such thing."

Indigo: The noise that leaves her lips is unholy. High pitched and LOUD, she brings the MC into her chest- no matter the difference in height and sings-

"If I am the one who brings you to life- you are the one who has brought me from the brink."

Perierat: There is only a smug all-knowing aura that invades the air. As if the question even needed to be asked. Perierat pulls the MC forward, enveloping them in neir grasp. The webs in their antlers shivering from the titan's glee.

"One day you will know just how much you mean to me."

Asha: Tears flood her eyes as she rounds the table, rough hands reaching out to cup the MC's face as she peppers them in kisses.

"I really doubt that darl' but just know, I love ya too. No matta' what."

Lace: For a moment the man thinks that the MC is joking, surely HE isn't that imp- but the look on their face breaks that thought and it's as if the world suddenly has focus. Past the smog of perfume and Cinis. Another thought floods their mind as they fall... hard.

'Well... shit.'

Ribbon: For once the ghost shows something beyond the blur of mild contempt. It is small, the twitch of her lips, the glow of her eyes being just THAT much brighter. But as she shifts in the air, just that much closer, the words flood into the MC's mind.

'Me too.'

Stranger: It's hard to know what the Stranger is thinking from beyond that mask, but as he moves to stand, something like a broken gasp eeks out before he vanishes back into the comfort of invisibility.

[selkiewife]

tell me please, about Ros and Reek, glass garden/houses ( It’s sounds amazig) and gloves angst porn ( i wouldn't be me if I didn't ask about it haha) ❤️

Ahhh! Thank you so much for the ask, @alwayssmiled!

Ros and Reek

So I was rewatching Season 1 of Game of Thrones and during the scene where Ros leaves for Kingslanding, Theon tells Ros: "Yes she'll be very popular until some fat lord comes to visit with a big belly and a little prick and he can't get it up so he knocks all your teeth out." And I just lost my shit with the potential foreshadowing of that line! And then I remembered reading that before season 5 aired, there were theories that the show would use Ros in the Jeyne Poole storyline- since they had already used her to stand in for other characters such as Alayaya. The theory was that Little Finger would use Ros as a proxy for Sansa. And so this AU began forming in my head which is based on the show, but more book stuff is incorporated as well. I just kept having this image in my head when they meet again and Theon is the one with his teeth knocked out and it goes from there... I think it would be very very interesting to explore how incorporating Ros changes the dynamic- just as having Sansa there changed things vs Jeyne in the books. I like that there is still the element of "person who no one cares about" with Ros- but to possibly an even greater extent than Jeyne- because she is lowborn and older. And I also really love the past relationship between Theon and Ros and think that would be really interesting to explore.

Glass Gardens/Glass Houses

This is a book based fic that takes place in my imagined "dream of spring" era. They won against the WW but their lands and society have been completely devastated. Theon is helping to rebuild Winterfell and he is assigned to help rebuild the glass gardens- to grow food (to sow essentially.) During the fic, there will be flashbacks that explain how Bran skinchanged him at certain points for reasons I am still working out. But it was apparently in service of the greater good/to help win the war against the army of the dead. However, this experience has left Theon's mind broken in a way that Ramsay was never able to do. So this is not the laughing in Stannis' face defiant Theon. And that in itself is devastating. There are a lot of unhappy reunions as well! He sees Palla and Beth and Jeyne again and there is so much angst. He watches Jeyne reunite with them- I suppose there is some bittersweet hopefulness for the three girls. But it's the idea of trying to deal with the impossible task of "making amends" when he really can't with a body and mind that has been punished to its limits already. But maybe he can still get something to grow...

Gloves Angst Porn

This was another one inspired by the Greysnow Week prompts that I was unable to finish. It is a show based fic that branches out a bit into book territory because of changed circumstances- Theon is recaptured by Ramsay and tortured after helping Sansa escape. Jon and Sansa find him again after retaking Winterfell. This is actually my first attempt to write porn for Jon and Theon but, in true me fashion it is going to get QUITE the angst filled lead up. Multiple chapters of angst filled lead up lol. There is a little of it below the cut but it's rough:

“Take off your gloves.” 

When Jon gives a command it must be obeyed, and yet Reek falters. He can’t say why. Shame? Embarrassment? But Jon has seen him shamed, seen his humiliation more times than Reek can count. It was Jon himself who pulled him off of the saltire after he and Sansa had defeated Ramsay.  Somehow though, it never gets any easier. 

He turns from where he was feeding the fire and faces Jon. 

“My lord?” He asks softly, hoping that he might have misheard him. 

Jon stands with his brow creased, studying papers strewn about the desk. He isn’t even looking at him, but at Reek’s question, he raises his eyes. 

It is all Reek can do not to shrink back. Jon wants him to be Theon now. Just as Ramsay before him wanted Theon to be Reek. But it is hard to remember. Not his name but.. well, what Theon did what Theon meant. He use to rhyme in his head to remember Reek. Reek, Reek it rhymes with sneak and leak and freak. Theon does not rhyme with anything. 

When he tries to grasp the sense of Theon he is met with a void. And the memories of past deeds. People hurt, ghosts clinging to his cloak. Traitor, Murderer. They don’t rhyme but they are true. Still, he is not supposed to be those things anymore. So what is he to do? Reek at least rhymes with seek.

He tries to keep eye contact like Jon wants him too but he fails and drops his eyes like the dog he is. (You shouldn’t make direct eye contact, unless you want to appear to be a threat. And you should never appear to be a threat toward your master. You must wait until your master gives you leave to look.)

“Take off your gloves. I need to see your hands.” 

When Reek hesitates again, Jon adds, “Please.” 

Because there is nothing else he can do, he turns back toward the fire and begins to peel off the black leather. He can’t tell why he feels the need to turn away from Jon as if he were removing his shirt or trousers. And as soon as he realizes how this modesty must seem to Jon he flushes. 

Reek seeks a memory. He tries to grasp the boy he use to be, with his easy confidence and sassy mouth, who could always make Jon flustered with a lewd word or jape. But of course, that boy is no longer there, just this wreck of an old man who trembles if you look at him the wrong way. And if he did truly act like Theon, would Jon let him stay? Jon thought Theon was an ass. And Theon betrayed Robb and burned Winterfell. No that was Ramsay… it’s difficult to keep the different truths in order. 

When Theon is finished removing his gloves, he holds his hands up for Jon as if he is confessing a crime. In a way he is. These are ugly hands that bear all the markings of his punishments, the games he would play with Ramsay. Reek made these hands a ruin as much as Ramsay did, for in the end, he was always the one pleading for a finger to be severed. He always made me beg.

Jon studies his hands and Reek studies Jon’s face, trying to discern whether his expression holds disappointment. Jon takes one of his hands in his and Reek shivers. 

“Have you been taking care of them? Not biting them I hope?”

Reek swallows. “… A little…I’m sorry… I…”

“Fine,” Jon says gruffly, shutting him up. Jon is trying to make him better, like Ramsay before him tried. And that is good. But Reek knows he will never punish him for things like this, and that is good too. 

Jon turns Reek’s hand over and then takes the other one in his other hand. He traces his gloved fingers over the stumps. It’s not as if he is seeing me naked Reek reminds himself. Finally Jon stops and Reek remembers to breathe. 

Jon turns and goes back to his desk. He takes a feather and begins writing before he pronounces his sentence. “Tomorrow you will begin training again, with the bow.”

[colorguardsweetheartblurrsgirl]

Please tell me I'm not alone:

#writers on tumblr

Going what is intended to be a maybe 1 or 2 hour story ramble that had a set purpose. Start talking about situations, forgetting or being caught in the midn as you record or just ramble to think through the story. End up going past two hours as you describe only to yourself for notes intricate plot details, random facts on other characters, or more world building. Next you check another two hours goes but you are on such a streak you promise to go and get soemthingntoneat to your growling stomach soon as this thought finishes which is almost clearly done. But then over explaining the plot to no one but yourself more of what you know but want recorded down. Going I promise at this time to turn it off. Next you check it's an hour past that point of stop time you set fir yourself. But your finally wrapping it up! Just a little more, few more minutes you tell yourself. Only to check the clock realizing there is no stop and it's agin two yours since you made that comment this sesh keeps going what you were enar wrapping up only found a way to add m.j ro plotted scenes to your mind and dekwelling on what if scenarios for a story that hasn't yet been released.🤣😂

Literally describes me making recorded note from 8:40 PM-6:40 AM.🤣😂😅😭😢

I've got a headache now!!! It worries me that my recording program says only 3:47 (hrs/min) but it was continually recording. Makes me wonder if I missed and or wasted more talking and it will come out as jibberish.😢😭😅😂🤣

Heres the art work that kept me company during these long periods.

Note comic is not the actual comic, but another proof of concept to a later scene I wanted to play around with for some time now, and I'm near writting the chapter out for, fully. I've written certain scenes for it throughout to keep plot details consistent of what has to happen. Before I have written it. Although most of the outline has been written story elements ahve changed from my initial outline. Just was jotting down on paper before I tried anything with it digitally.

This is mostly a mess & not in anyway my best drawing (looking to the weird outstretched hand. That was just a random quick drawing without reference jsut trying tonmoce through the drawing quick. But leaving enough deletsik for me to hbderstandbthebintetion should I go with the same story movement here when implementing the chapter. This was me just trying out a few things I wanted to see out on paper to make sure what I was seeing in my head would translate well in a comic. Not all are detailed slides but with enough detail to what I for myself am going for and wanting at said times to understand with a quick glance.

E.g the quickly drawn hand is so not the best drawn hand just a quick render to know what I wanted. Or for reference I had one short box presenting a dark area of thhe short dialogues pacing between frames. This I later returned and drew the figures standing instead over the current dialogue given instead the same impression the short dialogue gave using perspective to shape this and drawing over dialogue that may be unnecessary. But instead make it in between two more prominent frames a similarly long one added pulled back image of the scene. Allowing for more emotion to be felt through the black space surrounding the characters.

Similarly in my first proof of concept I hinted to a while bsck in a previous update shwoing some images from it. Where elements have since been added like this change and added slides as it is like yg to make it into the story, but the concept remained to ensure the way I was intending things would work to be added. But it in itself may be as is or in an adapted way make it in the comic or stay outside it maybe to be posted as a side story alongside a rest period or just something I show later patreons, etc . This is just a frame of reference to use as I get further along and a way for me to ensure directions I'm headed would work in the way I intend.

The below is related to S.T.R.Y.

[determinedwriter]

Whumptober 2023 Day 1: "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Ro

I told Dad I’d be fine. I told him I could handle a mission. If Peter can, why can’t I? I have good control over my powers now and there’s no reason to think I’ll get into any trouble.

Well, of course I had to be wrong.

It’s just the same old shit with people who think they can rule the world with the small amount of power they find themselves stumbling upon. Of course, it’s still troublesome.

Especially when the people you’re fighting have alien tech from the battle of New York. Ordinary people weren’t supposed to be able to get their hands on that stuff, but where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Which leaves me fighting one on one with a guy whose weapon I destroyed with a fireball. I didn’t think he’d be very tough without it, but he’s a skilled fighter.

Even with my reasonably quick reflexes and fighting, he gains the upper hand with a swift smash to my head with the defunct weapon. "Grab her!"

I hadn’t really thought of it being a blunt object he could actually hurt me with, but here we are.

One good hit to my head and I’m down, vision swimming. I’m instantly extremely dizzy and nauseous, the pain making everything crank up to eleven.

I think I’m out for a minute or more before I come to, the fight still very much alive on the field.

“Hnnnghh…” I groan in pain. The man with the blunt weapon stands over me about to strike again when I see a flash of red and blue. Peter.

Kicking my assailant and knocking him out, Peter is soon kneeling beside me. “Oh man, I saw that hit! Are you alright?! I think they tried to kidnap you!”

His yelling makes my head pound more. Everything is too loud. “H-Hurts…”

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Peter asks, holding up an unknown amount of digits.

“I…don’t…” I mumble. “I…can’t…tell.”

“Just throw a number out there then.” He insists.

His fingers just look like blobs that blur together. “Three.”

“Uhh, I mean…close?” Peter sounds nervous, trying to make me feel better about my likely very wrong answer.

“Ro.” I can’t really distinguish the face of who is speaking but I recognize the voice as my dad’s.

“D-Dad…” I say.

“No more missions for at least a month, you got it?” He scolds.

“Now, Tony?” I hear Steve reply, slightly exasperated. “She can barely keep her eyes open.”

Dad’s following silence isn’t an angry one. Even in my current state, I can sense the worry and nervousness in him.

“Well you’re gonna keep those eyes open for me aren’t you, Ro?” He says breathlessly.

Before I can stop it, vomit is spewing from my mouth and I’m being turned over to my side by Dad and Steve, Peter reassuring me, though I don’t hear his words very clearly.

Dad brushes hair out of my face. “Battle’s over now. I’m getting you home. Just keep your eyes on me, Junior.”

“Hmph…” I mumble, trying to communicate to him that I am listening. “Mmhmm…”

“Good.” He mutters back.

“Dad?” I ask.

“Yeah?” He replies.

“Mm sorry…” I groan. “Sorry…”

“Don’t worry about any of that right now. You’re alright. Promise. You kicked a lot of ass today.” He reassures me.

“It hurts.” I tell him.

“I know. Just hold onto me.” Dad holds his arm out and I cling to it.

“P-Peter’s okay?” I ask.

He squeezes my arm comfortingly. “He’s fine. Keep looking at me. Ro, look. You see me?” I blink in confusion, unable to ground myself. “It hurts.”

“You already said-” Dad stops himself. “I-I know. It’s okay.”

His voice is shaking. “Dad…you’re scaring me…”

He gulps. “There’s nothing to be scared of, baby.”

Baby

Yeah, there must be something wrong. Dad never calls me that. It usually only slips out when he’s scared or particularly soft for some reason. I have to be in worse shape than he’s letting on.

He brushes hair out of my face as I vomit again, rubbing my back with his hand, circling slowly and soothingly. “Oh kiddo, you’re gonna be alright.”

Crying and gagging, I cling to Dad as he hugs me. “Dad, I h-hate this. I don’t f-feel good. It hurts so bad.”

Sounding like a child much younger than I really am, I can’t bring myself to feel too embarrassed in the moment. This is absolutely miserable. Dad seems to understand this vulnerability. “It’s alright. You’re alright. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I promise. I promise, kid.”

Melting into his arms, I am soon passing out, waking back up in the med bay at the compound. “Dad…?”

“Aurora, good. Good, you’re awake. Take it easy.” Vision much clearer now, I see Steve. “I told your dad I’d stay with you while he went to find some stuff to make you feel better. I should get Dr, Strange. We got him to stop by and take a look at you so you could stay home and out of the hospital.”

He stands to leave. “Don’t leave me alone…” I beg, tugging his sleeve. “Cap…”

“I can stay!’ Peter bursts inside. “Go find the doctor.”

Steve nods. “Alright, son.”

Peter takes his place beside me, watching Cap leave before he speaks, grinning. “Son. He’s funny.”

“He’s like a hundred years old, Pete.” I reply.

He chuckles. “That’s true. How do you feel?” I groan. “Like crap.”

He puts his hand over mine. “You got hit pretty hard. I think I heard someone mention a concussion. Probably could’ve turned out a lot worse. I’m glad you’re, you know, alive.”

“I’m glad you’re alive too, Spider Boy.” I tease.

Peter is quiet for a moment. “You know Ro, I really-”

He’s interrupted by Dr. Strange entering. “I can’t believe I got called to the compound over a concussion…”

“Sorry, Doc.” I say. I’ve heard of the guy in passing, but I’ve never met him.

“I’d like to be out of here by dinner, but when do I ever get what I want?” He mutters grumpily. “You’re a kid. I don’t get how the hell you got cleared for a mission. This is what happens when you take some kid and put the world on her shoulders. Gives you a false sense of power. What, do you know karate or something?”

“She’s The Flare, man…” Peter says.

“Can’t say I know that one. I get why Spider kid is a part of things, but what’s your thing? What put a teenager on a battlefield?” He asks.

“I can control fire.” I explain. “I don’t need your approval, dude.”

Dr. Strange rolls his eyes. “Just lie still and shut up for a minute.”

Checking my vitals and my head, Dr. Strange stands up when he’s done. “Just a bad concussion. Bedrest and lots of fluids for at least two weeks. No strenuous activity for a while. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“What a ball of sunshine you are.” I sass.

Dad enters the med bay as I say this. “That’s what I’m saying. Feeling okay, Ro?”

“Been better, but Merlin here says I need bedrest for a while and I’ll be fine.” I reply. “You look like a wizard, are you a wizard?”

Dr. Strange groans. “Sorcerer.”

I nod. “So, a wizard. Got it.”

“Who the hell is this kid, Stark? Pick another stray off the street?” He asks my dad.

Peter gives him a look. “I’m not a stray…”

Dad rolls his eyes. “This is Aurora. Ro. She’s my daughter. I thought that was pretty obvious.”

“For God’s sake…” Dr. Strange mutters. “Are we done here? I have a reservation.”

He waves him away. “Leave then. Shouldn’t have bothered calling you and your big head.”

“You’re one to talk, Stark.” Strange says while walking away.

“Thanks for coming out!’ I yell to him sarcastically.

Once he’s gone, Peter speaks up. “Someone takes himself too seriously…”

I chuckle, hurting my head in the process. “Oww. Everything hurts.”

“We’ll stop talking your ear off.” Dad replies. “I got you Pedialyte and pain meds. Let me get you to bed.”

“Mmm, Pedialyte.” Peter comments.

God, I love that boy.

Helping me to my room, Peter and Dad stick around while I take the medication, soon trying my best to get some sleep. Having two of my favorite people at my side certainly helps.

My head still hurts like a bitch though.

[benthebeloved]

After the day of hearing stories about you, and the several weeks he's been texting you, hanging out with you, etc., Ben comes upon the realization that....

He loves you. He has deep, unavoidable feelings for you that he can't ignore no matter how hard he tries.

And boy, does he try. So much, in fact, that it starts to take away from his success with daily activities. Even in simple conversations, he seems distracted, or like he doesn't care. Truly, he does- he loves conversing with people.

But how could he possibly focus when all he thinks about is you and his child, all the way on Alderaan?

It gets to a point where one day, Feemor sits him down halfway through a conversation, studying him intently.

"What is the matter with you?" Feemor asks him quietly.

Ben shakes his head a little. "Nothing. Why do you ask?"

"Don't play that with me." Fee warns. "You and I have always been two of the most focused gentlemen I know. And right now, you're about twenty planets away. Talk to me."

"No." Ben studies his older brother. "I can't."

"You can't?" Fee raises a brow, "or you won't?"

"I-"

"What is it Ben?" Fee pushes, his voice getting angrier by the second.

"I'm in love," Ben blurts. Panic immediately sets in and he looks away as tears burn his eyes.

"You're- what?"

"I'm in love," he dares to say it again.

Feemor studies the distressed man for a few moments before finally saying, "Tell me everything."

Ben starts to cry, "I- I had a one night stand and-"

"When did you-"

"Just let me talk," Ben snaps, "I won't be able to do this if you don't. I- I was on Alderaan to help Bail and I had a one night stand with a doctor and she ended up- she's pregnant. I have a child." He quickly continues as Feemor's eyes widen, not giving Fee a chance to respond, "I have a baby on the way and this woman - her name is Lili - she's so beautiful and kind and loving and I can't help my affection for her. I can't. She's so wonderful. I think about her all the time and I know I shouldn't but dammit I do. And I dunno what I should do about it. I-"

"Ben-"

"No Fee-"

"No." Fee snaps, reaching to hold Ben's face. "Listen to me. I know... I know I haven't been easy on you. At all. Growing up I was very strict with you and I - I implemented rules that not even Father told us about. He was always a bit more loose with which rules to follow- and the fact that he loved Mother proves that. Tahl was a huge part of my life. And I'm... I'm sorry that I-" he pauses and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, "I... am also experiencing feelings. For someone."

Ben's eyes widen. "What?" he breathes, shaking his head, "What- Fee what're you talking about?"

"Ro," Fee whispers. "I'm- I'm growing very fond of Rocket. So I... am in no position whatsoever to tell you what to do with your emotions and choices."

Ben stares at Fee, shocked into silence. What? You mean the golden boy of the family, the do-no-evil Jedi of the lineage, is actually in love??

"Fee..."

"I know." Feemor nods a little. "I know. It's been a lot to deal with and I've hurt Ro in the process. Just- that's why I want you to know that I'm not... going to punish you for this or- or tell the Council. I won't even tell grandfather. But I do want you to do something for me."

Ben blinks. "Alright- anything."

"I want you to go after her," Fee encourages him, continuing as Ben starts to scoff in surprise, "I want you to text her or call her and- take her on a date or something. Let her know how you feel. Let yourself know how you feel and actually let yourself feel it. Don't miss out on something wonderful just because you're afraid of what I might say. The Force knows this is one of the smallest rules we could worry about. I'm sure the whole 'don't use the Dark Side' rule is far more important."

He pulls Ben into a tight, long hug, the two of them falling into a long conversation about the people they love.

And then, later that night, when Ben is finally alone in his room and has processed the depth of that bonding moment with his older brother, he texts you.

I'm packing a bag and I'm leaving in the morning to come see you. I'd like to take you on a date. Any restaurant you'd like- I want to take you there. Please.

There’s about a million things I could say in response to this message, but as I begin to type, almost nothing comes out,

What about the Order?

[grumpyascianteddybear]

Understanding

@seatedsacrifice

Here because your thing inspired this thing, and I am still working on the drawing. It's getting there, but it's far from done.

How many times had she stepped through that portal now? Hadianna wasn't sure, and she wasn't sure that she wanted to know. It was so many, and each time a memory from the past decided to hit her. A memory of their past, and yet, his face was always blurred. The only thing that wasn't was his glowing lilac eyes. Eyes that she had seen framed by a crimson mask. There was another place, but she did not wish to think about it.

Off she was, to see what was happening with this Pandemonium place. There was the barest of a memory, him telling her about it long ago. Hadi didn't remember the details. It was over 12000 years ago. Heck, she doubted he would even remember if he was still around. Looking down at the ink timer on her wrist, she shook her head. It had restarted, which didn't make sense. Elidibus was gone, and there was no changing that. She was her own soulmate's undoing.

A disgruntled noise left her as she ran into someone. Hadianna looked to see a young man in a white robe. He was soon standing and offering a hand to help her up. A hand she took only to pause, open-mouthed as she looked up into glowing lilac eyes. Oh, joy, how many bittersweet memories would this drag up?

The first round of fights went fine other than her needing to rest after the last one. Her legs were acting up, which had been happening for a while now. Normally her mother would heal the damage once the episode was done. For now, she would just have to wait for it to pass and hope all her symptoms disappeared. That was really all she could do while she was here.

Hadianna was jumpy after the second round of fights made things tense. Before that, she had been able to ignore what his seat was. He had not confirmed it, so she could carry on in bliss without that confirmation. The result had been an easy and fast friendship blossoming between herself and Themis. Her blissful ignorance was gone now, making it hard for her to look at him and see a friend.

In the end, she had to leave for a little while. The confused look in those lilac orbs was almost enough to make her crack. It was different before. There had been very little attachment before due to what he had become. Hard to get attracted to someone you didn't know, but now, she knew him. At least, he knew how he had once been, and that hurt. Her past self was so lucky, and part of Hadi was jealous of her. Settling down, and having a family with her soulmate, was all a pipe dream for her now.

She returned to the scions when they didn't have anything for her. Hadianna looked like death warmed over, and all she wanted was to go to her room and pass out. She would only stay asleep for a short time. Sleep had become hard after she had to fight him, and it just kept getting harder. Nightmares were a large issue, and she also wanted something she would never get to have now. She had to live with the fact that her soulmate was dead because of her.

" Hadianna, I see you have returned. Much needs to be discussed now that you have returned."

She looked up at G'raha and sighed. Hadianna knew it was better to just get this over with. Yet she just wanted to try and sleep. To try and escape the utter misery that was her life right now. Being the warrior of light was a heavy-duty to bear. One that she no longer wished to carry and yet refused to hand it off to anyone else. She had already suffered in so many ways no one deserved to, and all for the good of The Star.

Something between a laugh and a sob bubbled up out of her. Duty, this god's forsaken duty. Was this how he and the others felt? This overwhelming weight that never left? The knowledge that their life was never really their own? They had belonged to the Star. Their lives work to ensure it kept spinning. Which was exactly what she was doing, just in a way they could not conceive through their rose-tinted glasses.

" I am not in the mood for a whole meeting so much this quick." She stated, still laughing and crying all at the same time. Hadianna noticed the timer, and it said 20 minutes. She rubbed at the inky timer, knowing it would not go away. 20 minutes until what? Was his ghost coming to haunt her?

" I felt a surge within the Crystal Tower, so Krile and I checked on things."

She blinked and followed him when he motioned for her to follow. What could have caused such a surge? Heen something inside Hadianna was trying to wrap her brain around that. No one could have gotten into the tower. It was sealed, so it had to have been from something on the inside.

" What, or rather who, we found will likely interest you greatly."

Hadianna gave him an odd look as G'raha motioned to the door they were now in front of. If she was paying attention to the timer, she would have noted it was about to reach zero. Opening the door, her eyes widened as she was met with glowing lilac hues. The show was not important, and she didn't care either. What mattered more than anything was that he was here, and Zodiark was gone.