#and neil and Andrew I'M GOING INSANE

[amalias-whatsoever]

I just finished the king's men and I can't quite wipe the smile of my face

[nothatsmi]

2/4

One wears a "drug" mask and the other a "safe" mask. Pills and contatcts. Pipe dreams and hidden scars.

Then they played hide and seek, and I'm not sure if any of them won or lost the game. Anyway did I say I love Muse-

Midly unrelated stuff: I am falling back into The Raven Cycle I think. I want to draw them so bad. I also want to draw Percy Jackson stuff (I began the second book hehe)! And I need to finish these. Also I started an aftg animatic jkclvqlh why can't I be normal for once-

[shorlinesorrows]

qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

[starregulus]

someone drag me back into the aftg fandom so i can finish my fic plz I beg. The bsd brain rot is eating me alive. I cant get those mf losers out of my damn head

[achillesinagaypanic]

I will add myself to the AFTG clutter, well after the trilogy is done:

Currently on TRK after finishing TFC in 2 days, I am hopeful to continue my quick reading. Some notes on my read so far:

I am having a hell of a laugh reading out all of Jean's dialogue with a french southern accent because peuchère il est marseillais le peutchi

I am also crying at the littlest things, like the showers in the first away-game against the terrapins (which I was surprised to discover is apparently a turtle??) But big events leave me indifferent (like Seth, but I think that was meant to be seeing as Neil had about the same reaction) or numb and in shock (like learning Neil BELONGS TO THE MORIYAMAS??? HELLO???? I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING????)

I should be doing homework. I am not. I will get in trouble. But at least I'll know how this all ends. I love theatre but the power of Adhd hyperfixation is stronger than me </3

I am VERY AFRAID to interact with fandom because I don't want to get spoiled (looking at you, dr who hyperfixation where I know way too much because of AO3) but I will be glad to update to you all my reactions through text as I read through this (though I will slide over most of the "I wish I could go in there and hold/punch him/her"s and "Omg he's so fucking hot"s)

Every character of the team is so fucking attractive and I was 100% shaming myself for my reaction when Kevin full-body-pinned Neil against the wall. 1/2 of my thoughts and reactions are "when is it my turn" or "omg let's switch places".

I was extremely worried when Neil woke up in Nicky's arms after having been drugged because like ???? Did they do anything ????? But then realized that Nicky would do no such thing, despite repeatedly talking about it.

The girls have all my love, seriously, Dan is wonderful as a captain AND as a friend, Renee is so nice I aspire to have her self-control, Allison needs a hug.

ALSO!!! IN THE SHIPS!!! (Because I did discover this off of a gay edit between Andrew and Neil "Yes or no Neil? / It's always yes with you") I fucking love that I can ship Andrew, Neil and Kevin interchangeably. Like, Guard dog and Hurt runaway? Fuck yes. Famous but kept captive and Underdog but free? You got it. Anxiety ball and Dangerous but somehow reassuring? Give me all of it.

OKAY now I need to let my newfound knowledge sink in because wtf was that conversation (Neil and Kevin about the whole lore thing), thank you for reading my thoughts as an excited first-time reader

[sureuncertainty]

oh also hands down one of the best moments of metrocon was when I went up to a booth purely bc it was one of the only ones that had the magnus archives stuff, and asked about it and we started talking about TMA, and then the artist goes here I have something for you, and handed me a teeny tiny book (like i’m talking like not even a square inch big) and it was a FUCKING TINY LEITNER IT HAD THE STICKER IN IT AND EVERYTHING

[recallthename]

okay hear me out. kevin/andrew/neil = louis/lestat/armand

[maple-pies]

AFTG from a D1 perspective

As a D1 athlete from a sport where men and women practice and compete together (thought we are separate teams) here are my thoughts ;)

Whenever the Foxes travel and stay in hotels they have to share rooms (but if Wymack is going to drop the $$ for shower stalls they def don't have to share beds like my team does) but I wonder if they randomize the rooms?? lots of potential there...

(however, USC?? They're big enough that I can def seeing them have to share beds hahahaha)

training trip? do they go on training trip Nora I need to know! Lacrosse sometimes does, so maybe exy would idk... (they go to Florida or PR, Kevin gets hella burnt and Neil gets freckles end of story)

Lift?? They have to be lifting!! I know Aaron and Andrew are really into it and Nicky and Allison fight over the aux

there are days where everyone gets along (even people who hate each other) and there are days where everyones HATES each other (even the people who are best friends) it just happens

men are always puking during practice. Aaron personally gives me big barf boy energy (Nicky canonically yaks already lol)

periods. Having men and women practice together means the women don't GAF about talking about periods while the men stare at their shoes and pretend not to hear hahahha

Abby definitely gets pissed at Wymack and lift coach (they have to have one okay??) for working the foxes too hard, it's the trainer's job to get pissed at coaches okay

just NCAA violations in general. We have to do quizzes and shit to show we know the rules we can't break/rules the school and coach have to follow. (I could make a whole separate post about all the NCAA violations broken haha)

this is no way saying aftg is inaccurate, it just means they didn't ever get caught which checks out

speaking of which, whenever Aaron get's pissed he definitely is like "And we went over 20 hours last week!! I could just report them!!" to Katelyn and she calms him down

Interactions with other teams/greek life. I know there have to be some mixers/athlete events, if not the Foxes then the Trojans for sure.

complaining about dining hall food, I know Kevin's pissed about seed oils or lack of protein, something stupid like that

hookups within the team. okay the Foxes are small, but that just makes it more messy. the trojans have insane teamcest I just know it. (being coed means even more hookups than normal) . cute relationship sex, hate sex, random sex between people you would not believe (i def don't know this from first hand experience what....)

I'm so excited for TSC because we get so see how a "normal" Exy team behaves (I put normal in quotations bc ppl need to understand that D1 athletes, esp ones on a team as good as USC, are definitely not normal people ahahha)

this is definitely just part 1

[joejhang]

fanon neil vs canon neil

god i am so FUCKING done with the aftg fandom mischaracterising neil i'm literally writing fucking ESSAYS about it and pacing circles muttering about it under my breath it's driving me up the goddamn wall so i am going to word vomit brain dump yap about all of it in an incoherent tumblr text post. spoilers ahead continue at ur own risk

i've said it before and i'll say it again I HATE FANON NEIL. istg this fandom LOVES to mischaracterise neil and ykw i think i know why. they take the smallest most unnoticeable parts of his personality and then exaggerate them to disproportionate and unrealistic levels in order for him to fit their idea of a conventional, stereotypical and desirable main character. they smooth out his jagged edges and prick at his "insecurities" to make him more likeable, more acceptable and more conventional of a narrator/main character and in doing so erase so fucking much of his personality and draw as a character that he loses just about all of the flavour that made me love him in canon. and also especially within the andreil dynamic this fucking fandom just loves to tweak neil's character until he's basically unrecognisable just so they can cram andreil into some preconceived socially acceptable clichéd ship dynamic. because andrew is perceived as the typical mysterious, moody and grumpy love interest therefore neil just has to be the sunshiney smiley blushing cute softboy in exchange. yeah because all gay ships have to be grumpy-sunshine and black cat-golden retriever dynamic. i raise you: andreil's dynamic doesn't work because of their differences it works because of their similarities. if u think about it andrew and neil are honestly very similar people in the way they think and process emotions and events and that's what allows them to connect and understand each other. andreil would not work if neil was super sunshiney and a blushy soft mess and andrew was the stoic, never smiling, unemotional stone of a guy the fandom loves to make them. just accept they do not fit into the conventional boxes laid out by booktok for what gay ships look like. i fucking digress.

neil is also just insanely mischaracterised on his own. people love making him very jittery and insanely oblivious and easily flustered with a generous serving of self-esteem issues. i hate to break it to you guys: neil josten is not insecure. i don't think there's a single instant in the series where neil is actually insecure about anything. as a narrator, person and character, neil is very realistic, pragmatic and logical. ruthlessly so. i'd say on this, neil is even more cerebral and unemotional than andrew is. neil is very straightforward and realistic abt himself in his narration and i'd honestly say his opinion and views about himself are one of the only things in the story that isn't affected by his narrator bias. if neil is anything, it's self-aware. i'm now going to present all my fucking evidence.

neil doesn't have a sexuality crisis. literally in the entire series never once does he even question his fucking sexuality. it's implied he's already figured out he's aspec/demisexual from the moment nicky questions him about his sexuality. neil says "i don't swing" and follows up in his narration: it wasn't quite the truth, but it was close enough. and later when he starts his relationship with andrew he doesn't ever question the nature of his feelings towards andrew or even anyone else and is pretty clear about it when andrew breaches the topic: "kissing you doesn't make me look at them any differently" so yeah neil is pretty certain and aware of his sexuality.

neil isn't insecure about his appearance. i feel like this is gonna require a bit of work to explain but hear me out. it is mentioned several times that neil has a complicated relationship with his appearance because he looks so much like his father/abuser. this is obviously understandable; you wouldn't want to look into the mirror and see the man who gave u all ur scars. that being said, neil doesn't have a lot of strong emotions regarding his appearance. most of his feelings of panic tied to when r*ko dyed back his hair is because of how it would be a lot easier for his father to discover him now that he has his original colouring back. i'm also pretty sure neil knows that he's cute. like it's never explicitly stated but i've reread aftg maybe fifty times and trust me i can read between the lines. neil explicitly says that he has a "love-hate relationship with his reflection out of necessity" and while the "hate" part of that statement is obvious: he doesn't like that he resembles his father, i've sort of just accepted that the "love" part of it is that he knows he's kinda fine. it's not brought up by him at all bc neil as a person is not one to linger on people's appearances almost at all. i think the only people to get a decent amount of lines dedicated to their appearance in the narration are allison and andrew. but yeah i genuinely don't think neil thinks he's ugly or unattractive and he's probably definitely been told how cute he is by others enough that he doesn't harbour any delusions about how he looks. regarding his scars, he never expresses any insecurity towards them and how they look, he just doesn't like them on display understandably bc of how acutely they point to his past and childhood that he's trying to hide.

neil is actually very very confident in his own and other people's abilties. this is esp regarding exy. he knows he's good at the game. like he knows. the most distinct example i can think of for this point is when kevin tells neil that he was at castle evermore to try out for the perfect court when they were younger. neil doesn't even doubt for a fucking second that he would've made it onto the perfect court. never does. he skips over the second-guessing and doubt part and just straight up starts daydreaming about the future he could've had playing with kevin and r*ko. like that really got me bc it's easy to assume neil would be super unassuming and have low self-esteem but no like neil doesn't doubt for a fucking second that he deserves to be perfect court. it's just that he doesn't believe in r*ko's delusions enough to play along with it by the time he gets the tattoo. he's also insanely confident about the foxes and their abilities and also kevin by the end of the series. at the beginning he takes a pretty realistic vantage point and says that with the way things are, the foxes will never beat the ravens. but even with that pov he still has the gall to challenge r*ko on LIVE TV and i doubt he's lying when he declares so boldly to everyone that if the foxes were united they'd be an unstoppable force (and guess what he was fucking RIGHT). and by the end, when the foxes are united, he has no more room left for doubt at all. some guy tells neil to kick the ravens' asses and neil just replies with zero hesitation "that's the plan". like he's so fucking on board with it. and he never once doubts that kevin is the best striker in the game. like literally never. at first he considers r*ko and kevin on par with each other (possibly, it's never stated outright) but by the end he literally has no doubts when he says "kevin is the best striker" like goddamn the amount of confidence neil has is so underrated.

neil is a very unemotional narrator. it actually gets me all the time how logical and ruthlessly pragmatic neil's narration and inner monologue is. some of the only strong emotions portrayed in neil's narration are anger, irritation and occasionally grief, which is only ever triggered by major trauma-inducing events (e.g. dr*ke). almost all of his inner monologue is analytical and observing others and dissecting either other people or the situation he's in. and almost all of his decisions and actions are made based on impulse and instinct. neil is a very instinctive person. this is outright stated in the way he plays exy; in theory, he can't give u a lot, but in the heat of the moment he's at his best. this applies to practically all facets of neil's life. he never plans his moves or what he's gonna say (except like that one time when he planned out what half-truth he was gonna tell andrew post-columbia). he's super quick and on the ball and literally does whatever the fuck he wants at any given moment. he's also insanely good at compartmentalising. like it's difficult to explain but while his priorities are obv hilariously skewed, they're also very clear in his mind. things he considers unimportant he simply just doesn't think about. what others look like and what they think of him don't factor into his internal monologue or his thoughts at all he literally just files them away in the back of his mind until they do end up becoming useful or important to him. he barely comments on andrew's appearance at all until andrew becomes someone worth staring at and admiring for him. the only reason he describes allison and renee in the detail that he does is because it's important in understanding how and why he reacts to them the way he does. this man was literally about to lose his goddamn mind at the fall banquet but he specifically reserved his mental breakdown for after the banquet so he could spend his time roasting the fuck out of r*ko. bro fully locked in and was like "clock riko now break down later" and i respect it.

neil doesn't actually have a martyr complex. it's funny because almost all of aftg is him being the absolute fucking opposite of a martyr. he wilfully sticks around the foxes knowing he's putting himself and them in danger. he doesn't "sacrifice" himself until he's absolutely forced to by his father's people. by then, he's already told himself he can't and won't run and he's smart enough to know he'll never get away anyway. and going to evermore wasn't about self-sacrifice or martyrdom it was about protecting andrew and those two are pretty fucking different. he knew he was coming back from evermore and he knew that he wouldn't die there, despite all the shit he went through, so i don't think that can be counted as "self-sacrifice". he was doing what he had to do to protect andrew, the same as andrew would've done for neil or aaron or kevin or anyone else he'd sworn to protect. the kidnapping in baltimore was the culmination of neil's character arc, which isn't really about learning to be selfless and self-sacrificing, it's about learning to stand his ground and stop running. those things r crucially different: neil not running in baltimore wasn't about selflessness, it was about courage. yes, part of it was obviously inspired by the foxes and motivated by not wanting them to be hurt but i truly believe it ultimately was about neil learning to stand his own ground and make his own home and have it be something he's willing to die for. call it whatever u want honestly i just don't think neil is as much of a martyr/sacrificial lamb as the fandom makes him out to be.

[catboygretzky]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

1/?

👑 girlbossriko follow

how many bro jobs do you think it took before riko moriyama and kevin day realized that uh.....maybe this wasn't just a bro thing

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

how many times do they have to come out and say they're like brothers before you freakos stop shipping them

👑 girlbossriko follow

????? do i know u

#it's a tumblr post about two exy players that you'lll never meet in your life it really isn't that deep

558 notes

💃fox-me-up follow

ngl that newest fox is kinda 👀

#psu lb #exy lb

8 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

The NARRATIVE that kevin day and neil josten have........son of exy! scouting the rookie-est of rookies from fuck knows arizona........no listen you dont GET IT winning is EVERYTHING TO KEVIN and he would risk it on the foxes? And NEIL? who has only played exy for a year! NEIL Gets his attention!!!!! And hes good and he's getting better every game and he keeps bitching about kevin's ex on live tv BUT WAIT!???? NOT QUITE WHAT YOU EXPECT! Bc then neil shows up with a number on his cheek BECAUSE WELL it turns out they've known each other since they were KIDS! how is everyone not insane w me THEY'RE LITERALLY PERFECT

#where r my fellow njkd truthers #how r u all not here with me this isnt even the start #kevneil #210 #psu #njkd

102 notes

☀️ usctrojanny

every smiley blonde striker (jeremy knox) needs a brunette wet cat emotional support backliner (jean moreau)

#jerejean #usc trojans #i'm just saying 🤷‍♀️

58 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

did he just......

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

guys please tell me i'm not insane

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

HE'S NEVER BEEN????? SKIIING???? KEVIN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?????? KEVIN PLEASE

#i i'm going insane i will literally die if someone doesn't explain this to me HE'S NEVER BEEN SKIING?!!!!

407 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

oh....i'm feeling so weak......it'd sure be nice to have a big strong goalie (renee walker) hold me up (renee if you're free on tuesday i am also free on tuesday.........on tuesday this tuesday, any tuesday?)

#literally passing out just thinking about her holding me don't call don't text i'm busy

84 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

do u think if u offered kevin day essential oils to heal his hand he'd beat you to death

#it'd be hard for him bc he only has one hand but he could probably do it #legally this is a joke don't do this

284 notes

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

feeling normal

215 notes

📜 realexyblog

actually exy rpf is fine, i asked kayleigh day herself and she told me it was fine

112 notes

🐋 sexyexy

'exy is a stupid name for a sport' have you considered that a) i don't care and b) it's named that solely so i can make sex jokes about it

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

is he, ya know *mimes jerking off* an ncaa exy player

#i don't believe that straight exy players exist

56 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard!!!!!!! 🥰🥰 short king!!!!🤏🤏😋😋 Awwwwwwww the scrunkly!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗 My boinky boy!!!!!🥺🥺 Crinkly doo,,,,shronkle scrimblo......🥺🥺🥺 rb if you'd scrunkle!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

📖 sapphic-exy follow

he literally killed someone

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#also no proof he did that #yeah there's proof his twin bro killed someone but that's not the same bc theyre different people #almost killing someone doesnt count

807 notes

🐦‍⬛ edgarallenexy

got told i'm problematic for liking the ravens? THAT'S LITERALLY MY SCHOOL OH MY GOD

2 notes

🌸 softexy

Kevin Day - A Study

#kevin day #psu foxes #palmetto foxes #exy #web weave #poetry #psu foxes #palmetto #edgar allen

378 notes

[thepipedream]

I have thoughts that I can't keep to myself. I apologize

Tilda was never a threat to Andrew. Andrew killed Tilda cause she was hurting Aaron.

Nicky's attack happened way before Andrew learned how to handle knives and fight in general. So it was this pint-size little freak putting all his rage into protecting Nicky. He was like no you won't be jumping this mf who left his happy life in Germany to come here take care of us.

He put a knife between Nicky's ribs because Aaron suggested Nicky's wanted to SA Neil.

He almost killed Allison cause she slapped Aaron.(insane but yk)

He choked Kevin to figure out Neil's story.

I can keep going, but the point I'm trying to make is :

Every! Single Time! we see Andrew being violent it's to Protect. Not himself, to protect others. it's never cause it's amusing or cause he is enjoying it. On and Off meds! In exy and irl!

[kevindavidday]

i love that neil considers jean as part of the family he wants to protect. i will elaborate this time because

if you think about it, neil spent book 1 trying his best not to build a connection, book 2 trying to break down the walls ending with confirming from nicky if they were friends, and every second after that deliberately doing whatever was in his goddamn power to keep these people safe and happy. going to edens for andrew, keeping the truth from them, getting the letter back for kevin, reminding kevin that he owes jean a conversation after all that's happened, fixing the twins' relationship, spending time with them even though he knew he would leave. in his mind, what he was doing was selfish because he was going to die soon and they didn't even know it.

he doesn't die, though and he comes back with even MORE fight in him than before. he meets his uncle once and although his mother hadn't wanted him to be involved in one gang after another, he doesn't give a single flying fuck. the hatford's existence is just another resource for him, a way to hurt those who have hurt his family. stuart already killed his father, so what's it matter if there's a few more - protecting him means protecting his family. if the fbi had any clue about the power neil actually holds over the hatford's they would all willingly eat their hats tbh.

so the first thing he does when he sees his uncle again? despite knowing that ichirou is close-by? he tells him to kill proust.

hell, even the moriyama's are nothing to this man if i'm being honest. he isn't afraid of them, he knew the rarity of ichirou's visits which made him wary when he got into the car to talk about bargaining their lives and i truly do believe ichirou moriyama was fucking relieved neil didn't ask for more than that. there is that strange, dead look in his eyes that he's inherited from his father which unnerves the fuck out of everyone who doesn't know him. and when he bargained for his life and kevin's, he remembered jean too.

which is fucking insane. he spent only winter break with jean moreau, ONLY. i know there's extra days at the nest, but i'd kill to know what happened between jean and neil during that time for neil to have such unflinching loyalty towards his 'forever partner'. i want to know their conversations, i want to know what they suffered through together.

and the casual way in which jean dropped the news about grayson to neil, after hiding it away from everyone for so long. he admitted the truth to neil straight up, like of course neil should know, it's neil. jean's mind is still haywired to remember him too even though they were only together for a few weeks!!!

what is it about them?

and then the entire time otw to the diner, neil's plotting again. he's scheming. he's thinking. and he knows what to do. and its asking for local work because fuck anyone who has ever hurt his family. he literally only ever needs a fucking name, bro. 'my first memories are of people dying.' i think we can tell...

wymack saw that leadership potential and made him vice captain. god bless neil only cares about playing exy because if he had even a second more interest in crime he would've floored everyone. i can see it so clearly.

anyway, hope he takes a hit out on tetsuji moriyama next 🙏

[tiny-planet-13]

ouhg I'm actually like,,, can't even describe what the new aftg content has done for me like the amount of fucking fandom discourse that has been cleared up from just a few pages is insane actually

esp about Aaron like that whole chapter was SO FUN to read in like a painful way but like argh yes defend your woman please and call out Andrews hypocrisy don't mind me I'm sat in the corner with my popcorn (also just like the 'im not homophobic I just hate nicky' real asf of him) (it's interesting to see all the anti-aaron people switch up so quickly 🤡)

and the fucking bee chapter DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED I am so so so so pleased we get to see Andrew in probably the most human light possible by someone that truly understands him oh my god. like ofc Neil gets him but our beloved little exy freak is also massively unhinged and so any perception he has of anyone is probably always slightly off-kilter and to see Betsy like genuinely caring for Andrew and telling him shes proud (😭😭😭😭) and her checking him every time his sh tendencies are getting too strong AND HE LISTENS TO HER AND FOLLOWS HER ADVICE like actually don't talk to me I'm going to be curled up in a corner crying today holy shit

also Nora cooked so fucking hard with that monster and whip line like shakespeare was probably giggling in his grave as she wrote that down

[ninyard]

okay this was supposed to be a reply to an ask but it got too long so i give u: my first thoughts on the bonus chapters pt 1 (TFC bonus chapter)

David's chapter

Coach Hernandez had warned him Neil was distressingly single minded about Exy, but surely the fucking Yakuza of all things should have made a dent

Obsessed. I wonder what else Hernandez told him

His hip was years healed

Was this mentioned before? Did he break it? When did he break it? Was he playing pro and it's why he retired/became a coach? Just headcanoning this rn

[Kevin] set the bottle down, looked around for something to clean his mess with, and ended up patting at the puddle with his hand.

Kevin Day I Would Die For You. why is that the cutest thing he's done in the whole series

"What could you be holding on to still that would drive you this far away from her?" "No. Don't ask me that."

gnawing at the cages of my enclosure. this is too much for me. SO many thoughts

[About Abby + the kids crutches] Maybe she was right, or maybe she didn't have enough nightmares to understand. David rubbed a thumb along his knuckles, looking for blood he'd washed off years ago.

??????????????????????

"Did you think you were my only lover? He isn't yours, David. You have nothing you need to worry about."

Why did this literally break my fucking heart

Nine years later she was dead

Hello? Am I insane or did anyone think Kevin was WAY younger when she died? This changes SO much for me

"You're not just a Fox," David said, before he could think to stop himself. "You're Kayleigh's son." Kevin's expression fractured as he recoiled. [...] The silence that fell between them was wretched and deep.

i know kevin's head was screaming I'M YOURS TOO and just,,, once again him being older when she died changes SO MUCH. that's his MOM. He's KAYLEIGHS SON. how much did that fucking sentence hurt him? he knows!!!!! and she's not around anymore!!!! throwing up.

Kevin looked so much like her, except Kayleigh had never looked so defeated and afraid. She'd been fierce and vibrant and fearless.

This bonus chapter is NOT good for me because now i need so much more kayleigh content it's unhealthy. like i NEED more of her

When he started thinking about rings he put himself on a plane home.

I know this could be about,,, literally anywhere in the US. but IMAGINE it was Ireland. Imagine he was in Ireland with her. and ALSO???? him wanting to marry her??? like please. dont do this to me

"Coaches have no honor," Kevin said, ragged with renewed heartbreak and despair. [...] "Your word is enough. Just yours."

PUUUUUUKE. too much to unpack.

"They'll be too busy drooling over you to care what you're saying. Works on me every time." Nicky wasn't the only one so easily swayed, but if Nicky and Kevin were both too blind to figure that out David wasn't going to put it together for them.

I know the automatic assumption is Andrew but like,, what if he means Neil. and misread how obsessed neil is with him. Just a thought. But either way what a THING to SAY DAVID

David wasn't a praying man, and he'd never quite decided whether he believed in an afterlife, but for a second he glanced up at the sky in search of Kayleigh's disapproving glower. "I'm sorry," He said, and he went back inside to find a drink of his own.

once again screaming crying throwing up. He cared about her SO much

[unwillingtoreachout]

"The two of them start to blur together in his mind until he's not sure who he is because he's both of them and also he's neither. In a way, they both died that day" omg you are so insane and I love you

I totally agree with Aaron using this as an opportunity to reinvent himself because, for me, I've always headcanoned him as having some sort of inferiority complex (bc of Andrew but also just in general), and I think in this situation he would probably blame himself - and what he perceives as his inability to stand up for himself - for both Andrew and Tilda's death. I also think, especially because in canon Aaron isn't really a violent person, he uses Andrew as a front to explore that side of himself which is probably that he's been repressing (potentially because it reminds him of Tilda). But with him acting as Andrew, he can hide the catharsis he feels after reacting violently behind the guise of it being for protection, especially if it's on behalf of Nicky who's a family member.

Having said that, I think his breaking point would be his encounter with Drake and coming to the realisation that Andrew had been horrifically abused, something that he probably never even came close to considering. What would be even more fucked up is if Drake mentions Aaron as well, so now he's putting the pieces together and realising why Andrew blew him off after he sent his first letter or why he ended up in juvie. What could make this even worse is that, not only is his perception of Andrew rapidly crumbling alongside his fragile sense of self, but he's attempting to process the idea that he never actually knew who Andrew was (and never will get the chance to) while his mind is being clouded by a drug induced mania

So there's this manga called Goth and one of the twists at the end ***spoiler*** is that the main fl was impersonating her twin sister who died when they were younger (so everyone thinks that the sister is the one who's alive and the fl is the one who passed away)

...Anyway, so I was thinking, how can I make this about the twinyards? And wouldn't it be really fucked up if Andrew - who was pretending to be Aaron - died in the car crash along with Tilda and Aaron just never stopped impersonating Andrew after?

Like what if all of the canon Andrew knowledge we have (sans his foster care era) are all actually Aaron traits? What if Aaron switched to being a goalkeeper? What if Aaron never grew any kind of resentment towards Andrew and the one memory of him he keeps coming back to is the promise he made to protect him and that's why he's so quick to make a similar promise to Kevin and Neil? What if Renee's past reminded him of Andrew and that's why he took her knives and held onto them like they're the last part of Andrew he'll ever get to touch again?

Much to think about

[afurtivecake]

AFTG snooker AU (Because I got really into snooker for a while) -

Yeah, I know most people think of snooker as this weird boring thing that's always on TV at their grandparents' place on Sunday mornings, BUT-

You have to picture Kevin Day in a crisp dress shirt, fitted black vest, and bow tie, bent over a snooker table.

Yeah kinda like that. Kevin Day, draped across a table, back arched, totally focused on making his next shot that is going to win him the frame and get him the highest score in the tournament, while his opponent (Andrew, Jean, Riko, Neil, Aaron, take your pick, really) fumes and stares intently from behind him. I mean, not just Kevin, but like, that is just How Snooker Is Played in general. Do you see where I'm going with this?

Now the thing about snooker is that it's shady as fuck. You can basically port the AFTG universe into a snooker-based setting and not have to change a thing except geographical location. Hustling, gambling, financial exploitation of young people, organized match-fixing rings, sting operations - you name it; it's got it all. A snooker AU would include more crime, more (cue) sports action, more icy/heated confrontations in matches and insane amounts of tension.

Tetsuji would be running a UK-based snooker academy for training young talent secretly backed by the Moriyama group where Riko and Kevin grow up. They've been playing since they were old enough to hold little cue sticks (they were so small that they had to stand on stools even for the child-sized snooker tables). (Lots of snooker players start ridiculously young. It's not uncommon for people to start when they're 5 or younger.) They both go pro in the same year when they're about 15 (which is very young to be going pro) and are heralded as the new generation of snooker geniuses.

Meanwhile, at the age of 14, Andrew Minyard is playing in sketchy snooker clubs, hustling people for money. (approximately 5 min after snooker was invented, hustling and gambling with snooker was invented. if you look it up, a good portion of snooker terms have to do with gambling.) He's good, but snooker is just a way to make a few quick bucks to him. Fresh out of juvie a few years later, he ends up hustling at this run-down snooker club owned by David Wymack who spots his talent and convinces him to play professionally.

Neil, on the other hand, grows up in the US where snooker isn't popular. He played when he was young but his mother didn't let him pick up any cue sports once they fled the UK and his father. He's talented and obsessed, and snooker is the first thing he decides to do once he returns to the UK after his mother's death. He walks into the first deserted snooker club he comes across: The Foxhole.

(i have so much more on this actually. Like, if you think the organized crime in AFTG is unrealistic, well, let me tell you...there are SO MANY instances of match-fixing in pro snooker. one guy even claimed he agreed to bribes for throwing matches because he was afraid for his safety because he thought the people who approached him with the deal could have been Russian mobsters or something. Like, that's just apparently a believable defense to have given off-hand.)