#and myself because im sick
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The seasonal depression is hitting me hard but not harder than my perfectionist tendencies and my guilt at not doing what I promised to do <3
#cue me working on both azul and idia's fics for twstmas while having a full on mental breakdown#and taking care of my mom#and myself because im sick#not to mention the chores that had to be done today#gosh#im getting better at silently crying and i dont know if its a good or a bad thing anymore#one hand no one knows i cried so they cant ask me whats wro g#but on the other hand i just want someone to bundle me up in a blanket and hug me#so yeah#im gonna keep azul's fic unposted rn#cause im not at all happy with it#idias might get posted tomorrow#if im lucky#lets see#ice rants#tw rant#rant in tags#irl things#ice screams into the void
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[right to left]
finally finished This Wip from Ever ago and so now i ask you ever look into another dudes eyes and suddenly want to do whatever he wants
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#the kids are here too but i aint taggin them vaeLKEVJKLJ#snap sketches#posting this now and not obsessing over the details i need to SLEEP#please click/tap and zoom to read anything im sorry theres so much dialogue#i thought i was gonna finish this sooner but i went grocery shopping with my bro today and that took longer than expected !!!!#ALSO CHAT. if youre up to date on My Lore via my tags ... my prof's lettin me submit my assignment ... life's so good...#speaking of life being good i was giggling like stupid while drawing this . i named it 'this is stupid' and i stand by that#this is so unserious im gonna make myself throw up ITS SO CORNY i make myself sick with what i draw <- will continue to do this#only god knows if this is even how that power of his works i just saw an opportunity and ran with it#the trick here is he doesnt even have to use any 'power' he can just do that to charles by default#however im making them be obnoxious about it. i am making them obnoxious over dramatic grandpas because i can#my only crime is loving the utter cheese and corniness of the 60s comics like God. anyways bye !!!!!!!#maybe one day ill finish that other comic i sketched for this weekend but i fear i wont have time to so next weekend me thinks ....#for now i hope you all enjoy this. goofy as hell nonsense jLAKJVEKLVJ
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cephalophore = person (often a saint, but not exclusively) carrying their own decapitated head
euphoria = ecstatic happiness, joy
cephalophoria = the delight you feel upon seeing someone carrying their own decapitated head
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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awesome games for girls
#rain world#rainworld#that one among us post about hitting each other with chairs#i dont really consider myself a shipper but i do find it funny that at i have at least some hand in starting the artificer / hunter spark#because im sick in the head and all red murder creatures are girls to me#i was a lesbian hunter knower from day ONE#same with arti i sense the vibes like a bloodhound
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Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...
#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'???#because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively#and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop#and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like#'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol'#anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics#oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really#sorta like afterword stuff#gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset...#im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes#anyways.#time and time again#spoilers#what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option??????#uh#adam and steve#ttawebcomic#sketches#sketch dump#these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe#the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL
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You know what I love about the kiss? How fucking joyful it was. It was so light and so happy and so freeing.
The confession was so heavy and came at the last possible moment. Dorian was in his lower register, careful and eloquent. Orym had folded in on himself, shy and quiet. They have the weight of the world in their shoulders and they just needed a moment alone together. To say I love you. To let the other know. It all hinged on the moment before there was no going back.
But this. The kiss. It was after laughter and wedding planning and appreciating little things like lavender honey. Everyone was smiling. Everyone was feeling good. For whatever reason it didn't feel hopeless then. In that moment futures existed. Tomorrows existed. And Orym had one. Orym had a future and a tomorrow in Dorian.
Orym was so moved by all the happiness in the air that he confidently took Dorian by the hand to bring him out to the hall, told, then asked, him he was going to kiss him. All of Orym's fears melt away for ten whole seconds. Dorian stuttered and fumbled his words and kissed him back.
It was so cute. It was so joyous.
You know what it reminds me of? The stolen century. After Lup and Barry fall in love over years and years and they play this beautiful duet together. They lock eyes and smile at each other and steal away, running up the valley, away from it all. That moment of holding each other and just keep on not letting go.
The unrelenting giddiness of it all. The excitement. The glee. The promise of future. Wanting a future. Especially if it's together.
#silver sending stones#orym of the air ashari#dorian storm#cr spoilers#dorym#im crying a lot#lol my phone autocorrected a bit into a lot and like#yeah ill keep it#anyways.#theyre very soft#theyre very sweet#dorian's “ooooh shit yes” is the cutest thing?#and oryms “im gonna kiss you WAIT may i kiss you” is ehajrbkwjd#dont get me started on “oh i want”#DONT GET ME STARTED ON OH I WANT#because that has also done something to me#i know dorym has been very#first love (◕ᴗ◕✿)#inexperienced (◕ᴗ◕✿)#out of practice (◕ᴗ◕✿)#but the enthusiasm in his voice.#the “im ready to start my life” of it all#im ready to start my life with you#if i didnt already make an edit with dorian and dust & ashes id fucking make it now#someone please ask me about dorian and pierre parallels im dying over here#because dorian storm signing thats last “im ready” because he is ready to love and be loved#im sick#im making myself sick#i love them so much#im going to cry
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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Some sketches of the cutest girl of hell V2!
I LOVE to think (take everything below as my headcanon) that V2 was designed in the after the war times and because of it was given more unnecessary things like a module for showing emotions with a eye hologram in her lens which although make her more human friendly ( I guess machine production at that point needed to show humans that machines can be used not only for war but altho for more daly tasks and for that kinda change direction for a little bit more cute and “soft” of some sort designs.) V1 on it’s occasion was made with more of "fighting and surviving long times in the battlefield" thoughts so it don’t have any extra parts like that and its lens only sometimes glitches when it get hit with an energy orb.
#ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#v2 ultrakill#keep in mind that Im BAD at ultrakill lore and i can’t even watch some lore videos because i want to make it out on myself((#or at least finish all the game idk#ethervay V1 and V2 just make me feel so much emotion it make me sick i altho LOVE their designs so much i just can’t
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You know what drives me crazy? The fact that Camp Creteceous has an episode called "Chaos Theory". It's season 2 episode 8 by the way. And ik we should be aware already cause we all watched the same shows, but I don't wanna gatekeep. And I need some input too. But I re-watched that to see if it had ties. And I didn't see any AT FIRST. But saying it out loud made me realise.
In that episode Tiff and Mitch are trynna hunt dinosaurs to make money from them. And that's basically one of the main plots in chaos theory. Mysterious people are buying dinosaurs for money and to do their bidding. Now I don't think Tiff and Mitch are capable of that, but you never know. Maybe they worked for a group of people who evolved over years, and became way more serious with their dinosaur illegal doings.
Also Mitch and Tiff are dead. I believe they're dead. But I wouldn't fully rule it out that they are alive. Because technically we never saw bodies, they where never mentioned again, and I don't remember seeing blood in the scene where they went on the boat. And the size of the dinos, if Tiff for eaten by them they would have been a mess of blood. Idk. But maybe it's not that deep. But why else would that specific episode be called Chaos theory, and not any other??? It's gonna love in my brain forever and a half sandwich.
#jwct#chaos theory theory#jurassic world chaos theory#jwct theory#jwcc theory#jwcc#jurassic world camp cretaceous#tiff jwcc#mitch jwcc#ben pincus#darius bowman#yasmina fadoula#sammy gutierrez#brooklynn jwcc#also darius still has guilt and isolation 'do it myself' issues in that ep#poor boy don't catch a break#why do I keep forgetting to tag kenji it's funny because he is literally my favorite character#kenji kon#his daddy issues and feeling incompetent capture me#becaue same kenji same 😔#also benrius moments yeeeehhhh#benrius#guys please be crazy with me on this PLEASE#Im sick and should be sleeping but nahhhhhhhhh#they were dinostar moments too ig#can be taken platonically or romanrically tbh#dinostar#love that for them
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still stuck here btw
#did you guys move on from haino beach art?? because i still haven’t been able to move on from haino beach art#cytham#cyhaino#haino#they make me so sick i think about this everyday#its 4 am and i got stumped on one of my fics for them AGAIN and i know im gonna have to re-edit this section AGAIN#so i had to find beach haino to destress😮💨#also shout out ayato in this art he looks like he’s about to pass out#he’s giving five year old me at recess panicking when i actually got invited to play with everyone#instead of just sitting by myself and making grass bracelets lol
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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..
#xmen#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this#usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends#like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute#but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read#sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah#i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something#like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that#and that aint fun that aint cool …. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary#ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace …. maybe its snowin outisde … if snow even exists anymore atp#a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yet…..#charles has been locked in to erik’s off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss#charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers …#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear#see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book#hm…… actually i do wonder what erik’s commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be …..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday ….#thatd be cute … hm …. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line#anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!
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local man NEVER recovering from this oh jesus CHRIST
#cant even give them a ship name because 1777 is like a YEAR year. but i just need everyone to know. they make me Fucking Crazy.#mikksy looks so baffled immmm sick to mh stomafhhhdhhhh im killing myself im dead#florida panthers#niko mikkola#evan rodrigues#kiers.txt#fla
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trying out @simelune's the joy of life challenge!!!!!! this is my starter, persimmon pie :-)
#tjol: gen 1#the joy of life challenge#tjol#ts4#myp#im sick actually for how long i spent on this edit because i made the teeny tiny pixel icons myself AUGHm
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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I literally just had the thought "I'm sorry I draw so much sexy art" and then I was like what the fuck? No I'm not. You all followed me you know what you're getting into.. you can unfollow me any time you want... What do I have to be sorry about. In fact. You're welcome for all the sexy art. Congratulations you've won by being here and getting to see it.
#people ask me how im so confident about my artz#and the answer is. i do this shit all day#my brain is like wow wtf am i doing#and i reply to myself like A GOOD JOB DMBASS!!!!!#been years and years of it though#the thoughts are far weaker now#and my thoughts about my skills and my whatever are much stronger#but#the thoughts never stop.#they never stop completely#and at least once a week it gets hard...#and definitely once a month it gets very hard#but we persist#because its worth it#to love ourselves is worth it#and my art. however weird people tell me it is. however much they ask me to stop#my art is a part of me#so loving it is not just good and right snd just#it is necessary for my survival!#there is not much better work to be done than to learn how to love yourself#its fucking hard#but its worth it#text post#delete later#im sick so no filter lol#normally i keep this shit to myself!
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