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conservativetranny · 4 years ago

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2020 blog update

Hello. No idea if any of you ‘remember’ me but I do seem to have a fair few followers on here. I managed to access the login information for this account and it is safe to say this blog is dead. I denounce everything I stood for on this stupid shit.

I’m writing this because it’s what the blog deserves. Not looking to be dramatic, not looking for sympathy, in fact I think i’ll get a bit of backlash for this but bring it on.

The past and the present- a summary

I had this blog when I was 14, unfortunately way too young to have a social media presence (one which carried any responsibility like this one anyway). No matter what age I said I was, no matter how I portrayed myself or how you, my followers interpreted me, I was a sad young trans guy desperately hoping to look big, cool, masculine and stoic, and that manifested in the most toxic way possible.

I’m 17 now, still very very young, and after developments in my life, especially pursuing my medical transition and becoming happy within myself, I no longer hold such toxic beliefs as I once did. I am happier with myself and no longer feel the need to sacrifice others’ dignity, respect, and unfortunately sometimes on this blog, privacy, for my own. I was a very insecure, stubborn, and ignorant teenager, who dealt with a lot of denial. I’m not blaming the way I treated people online on other factors, but of course external factors came into play. I was dealing with bullying and insecurity, with parental problems, and with loneliness and depression. I seeked some sort of community, and I wanted to push myself away from the ‘weak’ trans community (the way I viewed it at the time). I wasn’t in denial personally, with the fact that I was trans (being gay is a different story- I was in complete denial with the fact that I’m gay), more just with the way other people viewed me (I will expand on this). I could elaborate on the way in which I viewed other people and the way that projected onto my conduction online, but it is a complex and confusing story. I have completely changed my viewpoint on trans ‘discourse’, I am open minded, I am close friends with people I would have turned my ignorant nose up at years ago. I am so proud to say that I am a completely different person now. I grow every day, it seems, and I can assure that I will never return to this ignorant mindset.

Growth

With experience, I have grown too. Obviously, from 14-17 i have become more mature. I have different experiences now as well, for example, I don’t bind often at all really anymore, because its more comfortable and can sometimes make me more dysphoric to know I am binding. I’m bringing this up because I bet you back when I was active on this blog, I would’ve laughed at the more mature, tolerant me, and probably went on a tyrade about how I was a fake trans guy or less of a man for not binding. I often wonder what ‘old me’ would think of ‘new me’. Now obviously, three years isn’t a hell of a big difference, but to a 17 come 18 year old it is. I understand I am not an adult yet, but I’ve always taken pride in conducting myself with a sense of maturity and articulacy, and for this post and platform especially I feel it is appropriate.

The Truscum Mindset

Back when I ran this blog, I was in an echo chamber of like minded people, which didn’t help my ideological development. I watched youtubers like Blaire White and Kalvin Garrah, who I thought gave me a balanced, moderate, and fair opinion which is clear is not the case. Back then I would’ve scoffed at the idea of Blaire and Kalvin and other similar people as being radical or a gateway, but I urge you, if you feel you are slipping to obsession with those ideologies, to seek to widen your opinions and associations. I understand it’s a fairly niche discourse topic, but for me it opened a wider rabbit hole into the alt right. From wanting to fit into the lgbt and wider communities as a masculine male, this opened up the black hole of the alt right, I browsed (now deleted) subreddits and 4chan boards, and forums that put me in a very negative and dangerous place. If you’d like me to make a post elaborating on this, I am more than happy to, but this post is to address conservativetranny.

Denial and owning up to responsibility

Back in 2017/18, I was very much in denial of certain aspects of myself, especially my sexuality. I am gay. I thought that this was, and especially as a trans guy, a demasculating quality. I still deal with those feelings sometimes, as a lot of young gay guys do, but thankfully it does not manifest itself as toxic as it once did. I just wanted to portray myself online as how I thought I wanted to be viewed-I didn’t want to be viewed like ‘any other trans guy’. I wanted to be different, but now I can appreciate individuality and I can also embrace being trans as well.

I used to think that having alt views was the coolest thing ever, which contributed to my slip into the alt right, something on which I’ll elaborate on in later posts. I am now an advocate for deradicalisation, and being rational, truly rational. I’m also an advocate for maturity and owning up to your mistakes.

I have hurt people, especially in my personal life, throughout my time as a stupid, thoughtless immature teenager and i am sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for that. I now respect the hell out of those people and unfortunately, but definitely rightfully so, they have lost their respect for me. I don’t blame them, because as I said, up until very recently I was a horrible, toxic person. With maturity, in the past half a year I have been able to own up to my mistakes and I am now taking responsibility for that. No excuses, because I was a shitty person. Of course there is a line between excuses and justification, and I hope those which are reading this can distinguish and appreciate this difference.

Self Hatred and Truscum

Back when I ran this blog, it was very easy to tell I was self hating. Everything I wrote on here, pretty much, was hateful except for the odd two posts that were about something unrelated to my ideology. I was extremely dysphoric and in a bad place when I wrote these things and certainly projected my insecurities onto others. I wanted to find a community of different thinking people that would accept me, and this community was certainly the wrong turn. I had a feeling that it was wrong at the time, but I was too naive and cowardly to own up to it and seek a way out. I kind of just naturally fell out of it, a a lot of things happened in my personal life in late 2018 that forced me out of trans discourse and into much more toxic places like the alt right and true crime fandoms, and I think I’ve only recently ‘found myself’ in the past year or so. I might make a post on self growth on the future as I intend to keep this blog to elaborate and voice my opinions on deradicalisation and highlight the importance of owning up and self awareness.

Don’t fall into the rabbithole

I’m not too acquainted with trans discourse anymore, so I’m out of the loop on this one, but I’d imagine that there’s still ‘transmed vs tucute’ ideas. Kalvin Garrah’s community comes to mind, I haven’t watched his videos ‘as a fan’, if that makes sense, for a while now but I am aware he has a large fanbase of young trans teens that were in a similar mindset to where I was back when I ran this blog. I would love for this post to reach his opposers and supporters for that matter, as a means to show them that they don’t have to fall into this cycle of hate which can be very damaging. I used to be an avid fan of Kalvin, and Blaire White, amongst others. I watched exclusively their content alone and formed my opinions around theirs. If you’re doing that now, I urge you to consider other people when you do. Think about the people like Brennan Beckwith, people who were severely impacted and hurt by hateful rhetoric. Those people are human too, and with maturity you will learn that people with different experiences and views are, at the end of the day, the same as you, and they have feelings as well .I’m going to make a post in the future about Kalvin Garrah, certainly, but maybe Blaire White as well.

Why now?

You may be wondering why this post is being made now of all times, and that is a question that has every right to be asked. I feel as if this timing is right because I finally possess the level of maturity needed to own up to my mistakes and tell you that I was wrong and it was certainly wrong to post those opinions and mistakes online for all to see, and put people in my real life on blast like I did.

I had completely forgotten about this blog, and forgot about the rude and ignorant words I had written towards the people in my real life, until chance had it that I was in contact with one of the people mentioned in this post. [https://conservativetranny.tumblr.com/post/169351517511/no-one-pretends-to-be-trans]

I’m not going to go into the nuances of the conversation we had, but it turns out they had, for a while and definitely rightfully so been hurt by the fact that I had mentioned them, by name, in this post. And while I’d of course still like to keep these people anonymous and will not sacrifice their anonymity in order to tell a story or ‘save myself’, this post is quite funny to read back on as I am good friends with the people referred to as ‘P’ and ‘Shadow’ now.

This is the end of this post, as I feel I have said everything I have wanted to say regarding my previous conduct on this blog. I’m going to change my name on this blog and my bio as I do intend on further posts in the future. I’m not sure how many people, if any, this post will reach, but I’m satisfied I have written this anyway. I certainly do plan on writing future posts but I’m not exactly sure how to formulate them. But thank you so much for reading this far, and if you have, I appreciate it.

#truscum #transmed #ftm #trans #dysphoria #kalvin garrah #kalvin garbage #terf #deradicalisation #i have literally no idea how to tag this #tucute #do people even say that anymore lol

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iridescentides · 4 years ago

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hi again dia! happy first day of december ❤️💚 i wanted to ask you what, in your opinion, are the 5 most underrated dcoms? i remember you saying before that you've watched all of them so i'd love to hear your opinions 😊 - 🎅🎁🎄

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH secret santa you are so good! asking me all the best questions 💜

okay so i literally had to make a list of all the dcoms i consider underrated and then narrow down a top 5. theres lots of dcoms that i love, but that i think got the right amount of attention and care (like lemonade mouth and the teen beach movies, for example), so this list just focuses on ones that deserved more hype for their quality level.

5. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)

okay so even as i type this i feel like a hypocrite. i have only watched this movie one time. BUT i can acknowledge that its one of the most criminally underrated dcoms ever, tons of people didnt watch it simply because raven wasnt in it. thats why i avoided it as a child, and i didnt get around to watching it until i did my big dcom binge in 2016. and it was so good. theres a really long post floating somewhere around tumblr full of specifics on why its actually the best cheetah girls movie (my favorite is the second one purely out of nostalgia), so to paraphrase some points from that post:

its a solid example of cultural appreciation, rather than appropriation, as the girls go and learn about bollywood and indian culture together

the indian characters arent treated like props or unimportant sides, they get their own agency and storylines that are important

the songs are good!!!

basically this movie was overlooked and slept on even though in terms of role modeling and social value, and just like the first two cheetah girls movies it was important and impactful.

4. Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)

okay so as someone whos very neutral and occasionally negative-leaning towards the hsm franchise (mostly bc its overhyped and not really representative of all dcoms), i was pleasantly surprised by sharpays fabulous adventure. this is another one that i know lots of people skipped right over and dont hold with as much esteem as the main hsm franchise, and that doesnt sit right with me.

i do not agree with the “uwu sharpay was the real victim in hsm” arguments bc in their efforts to look galaxy brained the people who say that overlook the fact that she was a rich white woman who used her power and status to exercise control over opportunities that should have been fairly and freely available for all; they were not “making a mockery of her theater” in the first movie, they were literally just kids who wanted to try out a new school activity that everyone was supposed to be allowed to participate in; and despite allegedly learning her lesson and singing we’re all in this together with everyone at the end of the first movie, she literally showed no growth in the second movie as she fostered an openly hostile environment and favored troy so heavily that it literally cost him his friends, all as part of yet another jealous plan to take things away from people who already have less than her. she was NOT the victim in the main franchise, and she did not seem to exhibit any growth or introspection either.

and that!!! is why sharpays fabulous adventure was so important. in focusing on sharpay as the main character, they finally had to make her likeable. they did this by showing actual real growth and putting her outside of her sphere of influence and control. we saw true vulnerability from her, instead of the basic ass “mean girl is sad bc shes actually just super insecure” trope (cough cough radio rebel), and this opened us up to finally learn about and care about her character. throughout the movie we see her learn, from her love interests example, how to care for others and be considerate. she faces actual adversity and works through it, asking herself what she truly wants and what shes capable of. and in the end, when she finally has her big moment, we’re happy for her bc she worked hard to get there. she becomes a star through her own merit and determination, rather than through money and connections. this movie is not perfect by any means, but it is severely underrated for the amount of substance it adds to sharpays character.

3. The Swap (2016)

okay i know im gonna get shit for this but thats why its on this list!!! just like sharpays fabulous adventure, its not perfect and definitely misses the mark sometimes, but it deserves more attention and love for all the things it did get right!

the swap follows two kids who accidentally switch bodies because of their emotional attachment to their dead/absent parents’ phones. and while i normally HATE the tv/movie trope of a dead parent being the only thing that builds quick sympathy for a young character, they definitely expanded well enough to where we could root for these kids even without the tragedy aspect. we see them go through their daily struggles and get a feel for their motivations as characters pretty well. as a body switching movie, we expect it to be all goofy and wacky and lighthearted, but it moves beyond that in unexpected ways.

the reason the swap is on this list is for its surprisingly thoughtful commentary on gender roles. its by no means a feminist masterpiece, and its not going to radicalize kids who watch it, but it conveys a subtle, heartfelt message that deserves more appreciation. the characters struggle with the concept of gender in a very accurate way for their age, making off-base comments and feeling trapped by the weight of expectations they cant quite put their finger on. we watch them feel both at odds with and relieved by the gender roles they are expected and allowed to perform in each others bodies, and one of the most interesting parts of the movie to me is their interactions with the other kids around them. as a result of their feeling out of place in each others environments, the kids inadvertently change each others friendships for the better by introducing new communication styles and brave authenticity.

the value of this movie is the subtle, but genuine way it shows the characters growing through being given the space to act in conflicting ways to their expected norms. ellie realizes that relationships dont have to be complex, confusing, and painful, and that its okay to not live up to appearances and images. jack learns that emotional expression is good, healthy, and especially essential to the grieving process. one of the most powerful scenes in the movie comes at the end where, after ellie confronts jacks dad in his body, jack returns as himself to a very heartfelt apology from his father for being too hard on him; the explicit message (”boys can cry”) is paired with an open expression of love and appreciation for his kids that he didnt feel comfortable displaying until his son set an example through honest communication. this is such an empowering scene and overall an empowering movie for kids who may feel stuck in their expected roles, as it sets a positive example for having the courage to break the restrictive societal mold. for its overall message of the importance of introspection and emotional intelligence, the swap is extremely underrated.

2. Freaky Friday (2018)

this is my favorite dcom, and probably my favorite movie at this point. ive always assigned a lot of personal value to this movie (and i love every freaky friday in general), for the message of selfless familial love and understanding. i know i can get carried away talking about this topic; i got an anon ask MONTHS ago asking me about the freaky friday movies and i wrote a super super long detailed response that i never posted bc i didnt quite finish talking about the 2018 movie. and thats bc on a personal level, i cant adequately convey all the love i have for this movie. so i will try to keep this short.

first lets state the obvious: the reason people dont like this movie is bc its not the lindsay lohan version. and i get that, to an extent, bc i also love the 2003 version and its one of my ultimate comfort movies, and grew up watching it and ive seen it a billion times. i even watched it a couple days ago. but the nostalgia goggles that people have on from the early 2000s severely clouds their judgement of the wonderful 2018 remake.

yes, the 2018 version is dorky, overly simplistic plot wise, a bit stiff at times, and super cheesy like any dcom. the writing isnt 100% all the time. the narrative takes a couple confusing turns. the song biology probably shouldnt have been included. i understand this. but at the heart of it all, this movies value is love. and its edge over all the other freaky friday movies is the songs.

on a personal level, the movie speaks heavily to me. i cried very early into my first viewing of the movie bc i got to see dara renee, a dark-skinned, non-skinny actress, playing the mean popular girl on disney channel. that has never happened before. growing up, i saw the sharpays and all the other super thin white women get to be the “popular” girls on tv, and ultimately they were taken down in the end for being mean, but that doesnt change the fact that they were given power and status in the first place for being conventionally beautiful. so, watching dara renee strut around confidently and sing about being the queen bee at this high school got to me immediately. and in general, the supporting cast members of color really mean a lot to me in this movie. we get to see adam, an asian male love interest for the main character. we have a second interracial relationship in the movie with katherines marriage to mike. ellies best friend karl is hispanic. and we see these characters have depth and plot significance, we see them show love, care, and passion for the things they value. the brown faces in this movie are comforting to me personally. additionally, the loving, blended family dynamic is important to me as someone in a close-knit, affectionate step-family.

but on a more general level, this movie is underrated for its skillful musical storytelling and the way it conveys all kinds of love and appreciation. in true freaky friday fashion, we watch ellie and katherine stumble and misstep in their attempts to act like each other. its goofy and fun. but through it all, the music always captures the characters’ intimate thoughts and feelings. the opening song gives us a meaningful view into ellie and katherines relationship and the fundamental misunderstandings that play a role in straining their connection. ellie sings about how she thinks her mom wants her to be perfect, and her katherine sings about all the wonderful traits she sees in her daughter and how she wants her to be more open and self assured. this is meaningful bc even as theyre mad at each other, the love comes through. the songs continue to bring on the emotional weight of the story, as ellie sings to her little brother about her feelings of hurt and abandonment in her fathers absence. the song “go” and its accompanying hunt scene always make me cry bc of the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that it brings. for the kids, its a coming of age, introspective song. for katherine who gets to participate in ellies body, its a reminder of youth and the rich, full life her daughter has ahead of her. she is overcome with excitement, both from getting to be a teenager again for a day, and from the realization that her daughter has a support network and passions that are all her own. today and ev’ry day, the second to last song, is the culmination of the lessons learned throughout the movie, a mother and daughters tearful commitment to each other to love, protect, and understand one another. the line “if today is every day, i will hold you and protect you, i wont let this thing affect you” gets to me every time. even when things are hard and dont go according to plan, they still agree, in this moment, to be there for each other. and thats what all freaky friday stories are ultimately about.

freaky friday 2018 is a beautiful, inclusive, subversive display of familial love, sacrifice, and selflessness, and it is underrated and overlooked because of its more popular predecessor.

1. Let It Shine (2012)

this is another one of my favorite dcoms and movies in the whole world. unlike the other movies on this list, it is not the viewers themselves that contribute to the underrated-ness of this movie. disney severely under-promoted and under-hyped this movie in comparison to its other big musical franchises, and i will give you five guesses as to why, but youll only need one!

let it shine is the most beautifully, unapologetically black dcom in the whole collection. (i would put jump in! at a notable second in this category, but that one wasnt underrated). this movie was clearly crafted with care and consideration. little black kids got to see an entire dcom cast that represented them. the vernacular used in the script is still tailored mostly to white-favoring audiences, but with some relevant slang thrown in there. in short, the writers got away with the most blackness they were allowed to inject into a disney channel project.

the story centers on rap music and its underground community in atlanta, georgia. it portrays misconceptions surrounding rap, using a church setting as a catalyst for a very real debate surrounding a generational, mutlicultural conflict. this was not a “safe” movie for disney, given its emphasis on religious clashes with contemporary values. it lightly touches on issues of image policing within the black community (cyrus’s father talking about how “our boys” are running around with sagging pants and “our girls” are straying away from god), which is a very real and pressing problem for black kids who feel the pressure (from all sides) of representing their whole race with their actions. its a fun, adorable story about being yourself and staying true to your art, but also a skillful representation of struggles unique to black and brown kids and children from religious backgrounds.

on top of crafting a fun, wholesome, thoughtful narrative and likeable protagonists, let it shine brought us what is in my opinion the BEST dcom soundtrack of all time. every single song is a bop. theyre fast, fun, and lyrically engaging. “me and you” is my favorite disney channel song of all time due to its narrative significance; i will never forget my first time watching the movie and seeing that big reveal unfold onstage, as a conversation and a plot summary all wrapped into a song. the amount of thought and care that went into the music of this movie should have been rewarded with a level of attention on par with that of other musical dcoms.

if disney channel had simply cared about let it shine more, it couldve spanned franchises and sold songs the way that other musical dcoms have drawn in success. i would have loved for a sequel that explored and fleshed out cyrus’s neighborhood a little bit more, and maybe dipped into that underground scene they caught a glimpse of. i wanted a follow up on the changed church community once cyrus’s father started supporting his sons vision. i want so much more for these characters and this world than disney gave them in just one movie.

for its bold, unabashed representation of blackness and religion, subtle, nuanced presentation of race-specific issues, strong, likeable characters, and complex, thoughtful songs, let it shine is the most underrated dcom.

and because i made a full list before i started writing this post, here are some honorable mentions:

going to the mat (2004)

gotta kick it up! (2002)

tru confessions (2002)

dont look under the bed (1999)

invisible sister (2015)

#this took me embarassingly long to write #i cant help myself i literally think about this all the time #youre doing a great job with these questions secret santa!#dcoms #disney channel #answered asks #anons #gcwca secret santa #Anonymous

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yhjiyeon · 4 years ago

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short intro of park sooyoung laughing compilation hey what's up guys, welcome back to binging with babish, for this week we're taking a look at baek jiyeon from the baek family of yangcheon hill. all jokes aside i am incredibly excited to introduce to you all the lovable being known as baek jiyeon. her skeleton is baek1 meaning that she’s the crown princess of the country even though the majority of the nation does not know she exists. anyways, you can find her bio here, profile here, still working on my plot page but that will be done soon. i’m open to plotting through ims or discord(given upon request!). hit that heart button and i will hit you up!!!!!!!!!!

i’m going to leave a list of details about jiyeon down and a few potential plot ideas below as a quick introduction.

people wonder why her family can afford to live at the hill because her parents are normal accountants. there are a lot of interesting rumors that pop up, but the baeks are just an old money family.

the rumor about her is that she’s a sugar baby, which is why she had a glow up and started being more into fashion. it’s not true, but she finds it funny so she purposefully is vague about it.

is skilled in a lot of things but she views them as useless because she can’t utilize them in her future career. but if you ever want her to recite the entire history of korea she can and will.

extremely competitive. turns everything into a competition regardless of whether people knows it or not. CALLING FOR RIVALS

is that one chick you’ll find in the library at 2:30 am monday morning studying.

is a first year medical student she wants to be a surgeon because she wants to help people. also because it’s impressive career. CALLING FOR PEOPLE WHO GO TO HER TO PATCH THEM UP WHEN THEY GET INTO A FIGHT. WILL STITCH YOU UP EVEN THOUGH SHE’S NOT LICENSED YET

parties a lot because it’s stressful running on 150/100 all the time. her drunk habit is that she’ll strip down until she’s in her bra and underwear and jump into pools because she gets hot when she’s drinks. probably should just start wearing bathing suits underneath her clothes. CALLING FOR THOSE WHO SHE DRINKS AND PARTIES WITH.

is a feminist to the horror of her parents because they (like the general public) view it as extremely radical and still think feminism is about hating men. most likely she will not verbally confirm it if asked, but if you listen to how she talks and her views, it’s pretty obvious.

has yet to have a boyfriend -- too busy trying to secure that coin. CALLING FOR SOMEONE SHE FALLS FOR BUT BREAKS HER HEART </3

does not trust easily but is extremely loyal. babies her younger brother because he’s so cute when he’s yelling about how korea should be a constitutional monarchy.

#yhintro #⋆ ˚｡ ♡ — { ooc }

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years ago

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Ok so some of your content implies immortal Alec and I was wondering how you thought it would happen? I've read a few things where Clary creates a rune/uses the alliance rune to make him immortal (but I don't think you're a real big fan of her) so I wanna hear your thoughts and also maybe Magnus's reaction

hoooooo boy i am GLAD YOU ASKED because i have a whole ass au that i have like. basically all the plot down but my stupid brain can’t turn into a fic so i guess im gonna shove it here and GOODBYE FOREVER

(also, about the clary thing: it’s complicated diaushduaih because i kind of really hate her in canon but i also accepted fanon clary into my life? mostly because i unfortunately can’t help but ship clizzy, but anyway, i kinda disassociate clary from canon. so i’m not really against the idea that she makes a rune or something, but i do think this idea is more interesting. or maybe it isn’t but then i guess that’s your personal problem because well, you did ask lol im jk btw)

okay so i have one word for you: seelies. hot diggity damn do i fucking love seelies or what

so you know how seelies are the offspring of demons and angels? and there’s this whole thing about demon blood and angel blood not mixing well at all? well, i was thinking, how the fuck does that work. and i came to the conclusion that whatever stronger parent they had’s blood would like, tame the other or whatever, you know? but then what if they had equally strong - or equally weak - parents? like a child of an archangel and a prince of hell, what the fuck happens then? or alternatively the child of some angel janitor and a minor demon, would they even have enough magic?

so i figured if that happens it’s like as if a seelie has an autoimmune disease - their body is fighting itself constantly. for those who have very strong parents, this means that they are decaying quickly, and usually won’t be able to like, survive for long if they don’t do something. for those who have weaker parents, it usually means they’re weak

so these seelies are actually born mortal, and for the ones with stronger parents, pretty much with a lifespan of like, a few days before they end up dying due to the autoimmunity. so what happens for those is, they have this Cool Ritual that makes them immortal and solves all their problems

basically what happens is: seelies are one with nature, correct? but they’re also, like, individuals. so they have their own magic, their own energy, their own life source. right? so what happens to these seelies is, they tie this life/magic source of theirs to that of the universe. they basically become one with the universe fully, instead of just guarding it and being connected to it, they are literally tied to it, so much so that their magic and the world’s magic is one and the same. basically their life is fed by the same source that feeds all life, even mortal ones, and that source is endless, so they become immortal. it’s not a cure per se, since it doesn’t really stop their blood from fighting itself, but it does solve the problem because it has endless energy to keep doing it. and after going through this magical ritual, they become basically the strongest seelies around, because they have access to very strong demonic and angelic magic and the like, natural source of the world. so that’s pretty cool

and this whole thing is like. absolutely top secret, no one but the seelies knows how it works or even that it exists. especially because the seelies used to be basically closed off to outside influences, besides the very few representants they had going to the realms (like meliorn)

meliorn is one of those super powerful seelies, a child of an archangel and a prince of hell, who has gone through this ritual. which is one of the many reasons they’re, you know, a super powerful and respected Seelie Knight, sent to deal directly with shadowhunters and the highest threats they have to deal with, all by themself. no one would be crazy to go against them, because they are extremely powerful. it’s also why they had, to seelie standarts, been given a slap to the wrist for taking clary to twi - i mean, they didn’t even lose their position in a super trusted and highly important job, really? like yes they were tortured and don’t get me wrong, that was fucking awful dude, but i feel like the seelie queen could have been a lot more cruel, could have taken away their job (it would make sense to since they basically committed treason by seelie law) or exiled them, or maybe even killed them. but they got “just” a physical punishment. that’s. weird to say the least

so that’s why, because meliorn actually has a lot of leverage and importance. they have a rare condition, a lot of power that most seelies can’t dream of, and they are extremely smart and have knowledge of the culture of our realm, which most seelies don’t since their realm is closed to outsiders. the seelies can’t afford to lose them. and they know that, too, which is why they went so hard to help clary and take her to twi in the first place - they knew that they would be punished, but that it wouldn’t actually risk their position, or their influence

anyway! with the previous seelie queen gone, i like to think that meliorn becomes the new seelie queen (random hc that no one asked for: since i refuse to believe that seelies have any concept of gender, i think the position is called “seelie queen” because outsiders took a look at the first seelie queen, who’s very cis female-presenting, and were like “ah, is that your queen?” and to seelies that basically translates to just “monarch” in whatever their language is, so they were just like yeah sure. and so the position is called that and they don’t even know that it’s supposed to be gendered and that to outsiders meliorn would probably be called seelie king, they are just like “i am the new seelie queen” and no one of course is going to fucking question why they didn’t gender the position, especially considering how fragile relations with the seelie realm are) or at least is given like, an important position or something. like tbh i don’t stan monarchy so :/ but anyway the point is, meliorn is super powerful, they are super smart, they have knowledge of the mundane, shadowhunter and etc cultures - and after the whole previous fiasco with the jonathan thing and the seelies having been basically kept from the other realms, despite the fact that as parts of nature, seelies should be able to wander between them as they please, i think they would want to start a radically new external policy, and who better than meliorn to help them do it? so yeah i think they would choose meliorn to be their queen. besides, they love the seelies more than anything. they might have disobeyed seelie law, but that was to like, save a whole ass realm lmao, but they’ve always had the seelies best interests at heart, hell, they were willing to be tortured twice for them. so i think they would be well liked, and want this new position, and treasure it not as a display of power, but as an opportunity to lead the people they love into better times

DISCLAIMER: i’m not saying that seelies bad or whatever, okay. tbh i do understand perfectly why they would want to close off their realm with the very real threat that shadowhunters presented, and i wouldn’t be dying to integrate with shadowhunter society either, especially considering that their idea of integration was just genocide and assimilation and the destruction of their culture. okay? but in the process, the seelie law and realm became cruel, first and foremost, towards seelies themselves, and the banishment of them from other realms is. very bad. and after the whole jonathan and valentine thing, the shadow society as a whole is being reconstructed, so what better time to try and create new alliances that won’t implicate into attempts of assimilation, etnocide and so on. it’s a new bet, basically, one that is only possible because shadowhunter society is also in shambles after the near destruction of the world, and this means that seelies have more leverage to try and build something new without yielding to them. and it’s a SLOW process, one that takes years and always has the seelies best interest’s, not the shadowhunter’s or anyone else’s, at heart, okay? and it implicates in shadowhunters giving them many concessions, and the strongest alliances between them are and will always be with the other downworlders - this is also something they are working on, making the different downworlder cultures closer and stronger politically, aiding each other mutually and helping each other reach their political goals. together, the downworlder societies are unbeatable, and the shadowhunters basically have no choice but to accept their demands, especially after so much destruction. plus, at least some of them are slightly more willing to. but it’s mostly a vicious political battle that takes all of them years, not to say decades, to settle

but the fact that the seelies are willing to do it and getting stronger relationships with warlocks and vampires and werewolves (and hoo here i come with my “maia and raphael start a vampires/werewolves alliance” hc because look that rivalry thing is STUPID and i want to see downworlder societies coming closer together and healing after being very obviously pitted against each other due to shadowhunter supremacy) is also what, well, allows the whole thing to happen. they are powerful, and the shadowhunters have no way of taking them on a war, much less now that their forces are well, fragile to say the least

in short! they have leverage now. and that makes it possible for them to try a new external policy that wasn’t in the table before, and their main interest in doing that is helping themselves, because seelies are tired of living in constant fear in a basically military state where they’re confined to the same realm despite them being supposed to be guardians of all of them. like that’s gotta affect their mental health, if they’re one with nature, wouldn’t being kept away from it be like being isolated from your loved ones? isn’t that deprivation? so like. this is about them, not the shadowhunters and how great their society is and how much they want to be a part of them, okay

anyway! so the seelies have designed a plan (because under meliorn’s rule everyone participates in political decisions because hmmm *checks notes* i said so) to make stronger alliances with the other downworlders. the first thing they offer them all is a little token of alliance. to vampires, they offer the possibility of becoming a dayligher - something they can easily do with their angel magic, not to mention, you know, blood -; to werewolves, magical amulets that help them keep their wolf under control, not turning without meaning to and being able to live a relatively normal life if they so choose; and to warlocks, knowledge of seelie magic

and of course magnus in particular eats that shit right UP because he’s a naturally curious person and a genius and a physichist and holy shit i love him so fucking much. seelies have so much more knowledge of physics and magic and their natural workings, so much so that it makes him dizzy because hell, the possibilities, and all the shit he can learn, okay. all this knowledge that was currently being kept away, and the warlocks get to learn about it (or well, part of it. obviously the seelies aren’t going to go around spilling EVERYTHING to them all at once before they even know if their token is accepted and whatnot. but they do teach those who are interested a lot of stuff, maybe create some sort of seelie-warlock magical school/course/programme/look you GET IT to strengthen their relationships as a whole?? boy i eat that shit UP). he’s just losing his mind here

super cute to think about alec coming home to find a very disheveled magnus surrounded by books and notes, hair and clothes rumpled and just a whole mess as he excitedly reads and writes and runs around to get a different book and draw parallels, okay. and alec smiles and has to be like “have you eaten?” and magnus looks up from his books all suddenly like “hm? oh hello alexander, i didn’t see you there”, “have you eaten?” “i don’t remember” “okay, i’ll make you something, you can keep reading” and magnus smiling all like “thank you” and diving right back into the notes in Super Hyperfocus + Hyperfixation Mode as he figures out, like, a thousand new spells (obviously warlocks can’t use seelie magic because they come from different sources they don’t have access to, but like, the knowledge is enough for them to create so much new stuff okay), btw. but anyway, ANYWAY

and to shadowhunters the seelies offer, i dont know, a soggy cheeto or something faiojdsajdasj look it’s not like the seelies owe them so they basically offer a truce and maybe authorization to explore certain parts of the seelie realm in small guarded groups? i dont know, in exchange for them and all other downworlders having a power and a vote in the new shadowhunter laws, and the whole proccess of reconstruction of their society. and the shadowhunters agree, after vicious infighting of course

so anyway years pass and things are blossoming, downworlder societies are stronger than ever and phucking florishing dude, shadowhunters suck less, seelies finally get to wander around like they’ve been wanting to for centuries, there’s been some neato cultural exchange, magnus is still figuring out spells and shit at an alarming rate to anyone who doesn’t know what a goddamn genius he is. and shadowhunter society is- well, changing, but there’s a kind of cultural war going on, you know, with such a strong shift in paradigm so sudden. the changes in schooling and shit that were brought on by the new accords kind of ensure that the newest generations are getting a very different view and education, but there’s still a lot of infighting from shadowhunters who want to undo all that hard work, which is of course still fragile because it’s only starting

and alec of course takes a primary role in that fight, being the greatest representative of the progressive shadowhunters’ (?) and their downworlder allies’ interests, inside shadowhunter society. like don’t get me wrong it’s not like he’s leading the downworlders, the downworlders are doing all that hard work so they can get their own destiny back into their own hands and not be led by shadowhunters anymore, but within shadowhunter society, alec is a leader and their greatest ally slash eye in the inside, defending the policies that downworlders create and letting them know what is going on inside of the clave. basically preparing a cultural war. you get it

so naturally alec is a threat to conservative shadowhunters and they’re trying to strip him off his runes all the time, and there’s even been a few (quickly failed) assassination attempts, you know, the whole. drama. and he plays an important role for this whole game, and magnus has been studying the whole immortality ritual thing, and yeah, the seelies offer to put him through the ritual

it’s a matter of political leverage (and okay maybe a personal favor to meliorn’s dear friend magnus, but like, mostly political leverage). first of all, making alec immortal gives him a lot of power within shadowhunter society, not unlike meliorn and being the child of super powerful parents. second of all, no need to worry about assassination attempts, they can’t fucking kill him! third of all, clear message - alec has powerful allies, way more powerful than the shadowhunters can dream of, and if shadowhunter society is willing to create real, lasting equality with downworlders, they have a lot to gain. if not, they have a lot to lose, because the seelies have literal power over life and death. also, alec better watch his step, too, because, you know. he owes them that one. they are not stupid, they know alec has been looking for a way of becoming immortal for years now, know how much he desires this. it’s also about keeping his loyalty, and making sure he doesn’t forget, he’s supposed to be their ally too

and there are a lot of like, security things in place. alec will not be able to see or hear anything, he will not be taught how the ritual works (not even warlocks know that yet), he will not be taught about its forces, it will happen in the seelie realm and he will go alone, and no other shadowhunter will be granted that unless the seelies themselves offer at a later time, you know, etc etc. they list off things and precautions he has to agree to for like, half an hour, and honestly they could have added “alec will have to eat a piece of the moon” and alec would be like “okay fine great let’s do this”

magnus is fucking terrified

first, because well, they have never attempted to do that on someone who isn’t a seelie, and while they have figured out a pretty damn good understanding of how it works and are pretty sure it should go smoothly, there’s no way to actually tell. it might not work. alec might regret it. does he really want this? to become immortal? he doesn’t have to say yes, and magnus will not be upset, because he would never, ever demand such a huge sacrifice from him-

and alec’s like “nope i want this let’s go” which only terrifies magnus more because it feels like he’s being impulsive, you know? and he doesn’t know if there’s any turning back from this. but alec is like “magnus, when have i ever been impulsive? i’m not impulsive, i’m just sure of what i want, and there’s no reason to dwell on it because that’s already done.” alec is an expert at dwelling on things, and when he makes a decision, it’s because that part has already been thoroughly done, with every single possible argument being exhausted and taken apart minuciously and careful. there’s no room for doubt anymore, because if there had even a spectre of it, alec would still be ruminating. he doesn’t make a decision until he’s sure, but by god, once he makes it, he is sure, and nothing will stop him

so he reassures magnus of that (“hey, look at me. i’m not doing this on a whim. i have been looking for something like this for years. i’ve given it a lot of thought. besides, the seelies reasoning is good, too; i do want to have the time to dedicate myself to these changes, to building a new society, and with that, i can do it. there’s so much i want to live and see and do, magnus. and i want to do it by your side, yes, always, forever, but it’s not just about that. this is my decision. i’m not doing it for you. you won’t owe me anything because of it. you won’t have to make it up for it. because i’m doing it for myself. okay?”) and magnus kind of chokes up and hugs him and cries because he’s so overwhelmed by everything, the fear and the adoration and the relief of knowing that alec isn’t doing this just because of him, because if he had, magnus would forever feel like he was ruining his life, like he was indebted, like he would have to make up for it. but alec wants this. truly. and he doesn’t have to- worry anymore, this constant weight in his head, that tells him this has an expiration date, you’re gonna lose him. look at how much time you’re wasting with all of this, he’ll be gone before you even notice. there’ll be no turning back, and you’ll regret it forever. and fuck it’s just- so much, okay

so alec hugs him and they repeat to each other, i love you, i love you, i love you, and the next day, alec accepts the seelies’ offer.

and magnus is- fuck, terrified, because he can’t even go with him, can’t even watch. there’s nothing he can do but wait

but everything goes relatively smoothly and alec emerges from the seelie realm exactly as before, no change to be noted, not even when magnus scanned him with his magic - it’s all still there. still a shadowhunter, still the same runes, the same face, the same hazel eyes, the same smile and voice, and when he hugs and kisses magnus, it feels like just the same

and then i suppose alec can now, like, talk to trees or something, since he’s connected to the whole force of nature and whatnot. i don’t think he would be able to use magic, because like i said, he’s still the same and a shadowhunter so it’s more that his angelic magic is stronger? but he’s fucking immortal dude, and he can like talk to trees, which is at the very least funny as hell (cracky images of alec discussing with some shadowhunter asshole and he’s like, even your SUCCULENT is tired of you!! but i digress)

anyway the point is, it works both in the sense of immortal alec, baby! and the whole political leverage thing, and they basically revolutionize all of shadowhunter society and alec lives to see the results of that besides magnus, and meliorn is the greatest seelie queen ever, and the downworlder societies are all happy and blossoming and getting their best life, and everyone is happy, and the bigoted shadowhunters die and are hated by their own plants. the end

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patchdotexe · 4 years ago

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explorers of arvus: camp vengeance / 11.24.20

OKAY HERE’S TODAY’S SESSION . HERE’S WHAT I WAS ACTUALLY GONNA POST BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. OKAY

(solar and jorb wanted to see my notes bc i mentioned they are Very Bad)

LAST TIME, ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS................... i didnt take any notes because i didnt have my pc and was hanging out w solar. we found a cave behind the waterfall and then i died of having a migraine. now we get to Kill!

jorb is afk waiting for his food to Arrival so im eating a tootsie roll pop and thinking about dreamout au

jorb is here! kaepora tries to distract the troll we found and Extremely Failed. sieron uses wand of wonder! it was super effective! (he hit the trolls w lightning and it was pretty pog)

throne: that was fucking sick! charlie: [dies]

charlie got talked out of fireballing it bc burning potential treasure would suck ): HOWEVER she did get to use her fiery crossbow to do some radical shit so !! Fufk Yea

thorne: [obliterates the troll] charlie: YOOO! THORNE, THAT WAS FUCKED UP! DO IT MORE!

silje's got a cursed weapon!! his cool ass sword enjoys blood, apparently. good thing he's a blood hunter! They're Made For Each Other.

charlie tried to hit the guard drake in the nads but a) it doesnt have nads and b) i missed, so. f. charlie flipped it the double bird

taure did a Very Cool Kill and then charlie set its corpse on fire as a "fuck you"

im currently suffering from the curse of constantly aying "pog" but its ok bc charlie is a halfling and theyre just Like That

charlie: YO SIERON, COOL SWORD! you're a swordboy now, right? you like swords? (god i missed playing charlie. she's very fun! she's a squeaky rowdy bastard)

leo: just guys bein dudes bein dead in a cave!

I STILL HAVE MY GIANT DOG i missed justin!! charlie brought her giant dog to arvus and i fucking love him. apparently i named him after justin mcelroy and i dont remember doing that but thats on-brand

charlie: we're the hope's guard! we brought supplies n we brought friends! ... [dabs]

anyway yeah we made it to camp vengeance! its kinda a shithole but we are in the middle of arvus's undead zone so. hopefully the supplies we picked up from the troll cave will help?

Taure Has Leukemia (she does not)

we've met Knight-Captain Ord Firebeard! taure and sieron are doing healing, charlie and silje were fucking around with cards before ord showed up and charlie had to Try And Be Professional, which is always fun. charlie temporarily being the party representative bc shes very friendly and the other 2 people are socially awkward

silje's gonna disrupt the econony ):

charlie sees taure walk up to some guards and talk to them abt "ok who needs to take watch off" but charlie cant hear what shes saying so she just sees the guards scurry off after taure looks Intimidating and is just like FUCK YEAH, TAURE!!!!

commander is Niles Ryder (thats such a cool name wtf), there's a bunch of native arvusians that we're hanging out with and learning stuff abt! the camp vengeance guys arent really prepared for how fucked up arvus is so thats why theyre in such a bad state. we're helping out, but ryder is very much not like... not the right sort of commander for dealing with the wilderness of arvus.

meanwhile, charlie teaches silje to play go fish!

charlie: [quietly] when the fuck did i become party spokesman

entire call: uh ohhhhh, stinkyyyyy! (apparently me and penn are the only ones that dont instantly hate commander ryder On Sight which like. valid. i do want to set him on fire if he gets any more douchebaggy tho)

camp's sick because water's poisoned! specifically there's some sort of magical disease coming downriver from the aldani basin, so we need to go up there and check shit out. plus thorne & silje heard about "heaven's brazier", an eternally burning watchtower, when they took night shift.

man everybody is sick. camp vengeance blows.

WE LOST IREL. WE LOST IREL,,,,, okay good news charlie found irel. irel made a friend! speicifcally irel woke up ulfric, the head arvusian scout, and is pretending to be a normal feathered snake and not A Bastard. i am now realizing im not sure if im spelling irel's name right (irrel? yrel???) but i am Committing To This Spelling apparently

ooh, old arvusian legend abt the aldani basin! the aldani tribe angered fjolnir [? spelling???] and got turned into lobster monsters, supposedly.

Charlie Has Become Snake Parent aka charlie is the one trying to babysit irel. irel knows the definition of bastard! and also was born with endless knowledge beyond charlie's comprehension. charlie does not like this answer. i, however, adore irel

i checked fallen london and now we've named a npc "jeremy jared sonofabitch". i think. wait no i think michael found a spider. farewell jeremy jared sonofabitch

[loads crossbow] river's haunted

#leo chirps #txt #dnd #explorers of arvus

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not-tryin-2-have-a-debate · 6 years ago

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hellow the following is a wonderful and fun and not-embarrassing dialogue i wrote to try and understand my feelings and clear my head while i try to look at school stuff im in hell pls enjoy like comment and subscribe

me: i want to go into the arts! :)

my brain, being spurred on by years of pressure from my parents and from school: if you don’t go into a High Academic field you are wasting all of your potential. you are wasting your meager little bit of fucking intelligence which is literally all that you have. if you do not dedicate your career to getting essays peer-reviewed than you are going to be directly responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people that YOU could have prevented and you and i are both going to blame you for that for the rest of your life

me: w-- my brain: AND ANOTHER THING you want to choose to go to more expensive art school to do less important work that you probably wouldnt even be able to get a scholarship when you COULD get an academic scholarship to some tech school or something?? your gonna run your fmaily into even more debt so you can be an ARTIST?? You’ve never even owned a video camera. you never finish projects. your art is mediocre and you haven’t made any it months. how the fuck have you deluded yourself into thinking you could have a successful career like literally anywhere tbh but Especially in the arts where marketing yourself is such a big part of your success? you don’t tak to people. you’re still actively afraid of people, even people you like and want to talk to. you’re mom said she doesn’t know if you should go to film school. the school you’d be able to get into would either be unaffordable or a school with a shit secondary arts program. why even bother? why even bother? do you really even WANT to do the things you’ve wanted to do your entire life? not that you’d even survive academia anyways. you’re too soft and considered too radical. you’d break within a year of getting your bachelors, even if it seems like you enjoy the academic environment now

me: well what if i like double majored in an arts field and an academic field--

my brain: stilla waste of money and time and resources!!! if you’re not going to go into an academic career why even bother? what the fuck is wrong with you???? you cant do either

me: ok but i need to go to school and want to go to school and we’ve decided i’m not going to kill myself, so...you don’t want me to go into purely art school. you don’t want me to go into a purely academic field. you don’t want me to do both. but you want me to go to school. what choices do i have that will make us happy?

my brain: *gets up and leaves the room*

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thevirgindoll · 4 years ago

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10.06.20

I’ve been thinking on the concept of marriage lately. After 8 years with the person who felt like home, now I find myself figuring things out again. These last 2 years have been so formative. I decided after working for people that I was going to lead myself now. Since then, I’ve been on TV, had a year of the micro-influencer life as a llivestreamer, started reading people’s energies, got into hypnotherapy, finally making a bit more money, spiritual awakening.... Events that are overwhelming and underwhelming simultaneously. Learning about the loneliness, isolation, “shadow-selves” and, inversely, the Universe, self-love, and enlightenment. On a factual level, it makes sense to simply BE. Stoicism makes the most sense to me right now. That everything has it’s cycles and this 8-year affair has finally concluded. I find myself, surprisingly, taking it well despite being the one left (again). I must confess I started creating an illusion in my head that maybe nobody deserves me and I don’t deserve anyone. My ego is screaming, I’m too “good” for them and also, you’re never “good” enough. That anyone who likes me today will one day leave me behind. My parents were absent. Even my own best friends (D and M) are so physically far away (well, hello to A and Z that never left tho.. but you get what I mean). I’ve been betrayed by people I thought were so fucking great and been treated as a scapegoat despite my honesty. That anyone who gives me a bit of praise has never left my mind but, most likely, left theirs.

I’ve understood something about myself: I’m okay being by myself. I love myself. I even enjoy myself. I find myself dancing and singing to songs and thinking that I’m a fucking ray of sunshine. That now, Im taking radical changes (sigh, again!) and choosing to BE alone by taking it a step further leaving my sisters and living on my own now. Perhaps, I still need to experience more of the void to elevate my spirituality and philosophy. Im so fucking scared but there’s really not much to hold on to. I only have myself to hold on to. I wonder if doing this might bring me enlightenment or maybe pull me into crippling depression....

So........why, then, deep down, am I still always looking for stability in others? Why do I have ape-minded and fickle thoughts? I’m already FREE, but why do I WANT to be controlled, tied-down, even if that will make me resentful in the end? I’ve seen this pattern in myself over and over again. Wanting to belong but never sticking around in places long enough for me to form deeper bonds. Always leaving and learning. When will I get something more tangible? And if occasionally, that does happens, shit hits the fan and I lose it all. Why is my time with people borrowed? When will I break this cycle? .....................cycle, cycle, cycle. Okay, hold up! I’m spiraling. It’s funny because as I was asking these things, I already know the answers inherently haha.

I want to belong but also exercising my freedom when it’s convenient for me. If i wanted a place to belong, I would have to actual be a better friend or, the very least, be useful. I’m really working on it, promise!

You know, things are okay right now. There’s nothing inherently problematic.

Marriage. What of it? It would be nice to have a constant best friend. That 2 people can share everything but also be authentically themselves. A best friend who tolerates and removes judgements. A best friend that has the capacity to look forward and make something special out of it. I was holding onto the idea that maybe Stephen was the person who would be my life partner, but it’s clear, in hindsight, we weren’t each other’s best friends. Sure, we have talked everyday for years. We shared so many amazing things together. It was good 90% of the time. But maybe we just slipped into simply being comfortable with one another that the moment I asked for more, he created a barrier and tolerated me less and less. Our visions couldn’t align. And I know, I would have to lose myself by submitting to his demons if I wanted to realign with him (damn my need to be free). I’ve realized something I’ve said about him since the beginning of our relationship, it’s that he’s perfection. I’m less than that. And he will find someone as perfect as him. I don’t really feel bad about it but I wish I had faced this fact a long time ago, then I would be more free. I really hate a rude awakening. But that’s that. Lesson learned, Universe. Can you get off my back now???

Anyway, I’m generally tired, happy, evolving. Im tired to be evolving but I’m happy anyway. But just for once, can I have a sense of stability? I’m stable, I swear... I just meant, preferably, financial. Okay, will work on what I can control.

- L (27 years old)

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llycaons · 3 years ago

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ep35: 2/2 - this was real gay, folks. holy shit

oh fuck I was in the middle of a scene when I got called down for rotk

well here's jc taking the fall for wwx. it's a bit awkwardly shoehorned in, in every version I think. but it's fine. a bit short

lwj holding wwx is very sweet but I cannot get over how gargantuan he is

'I gave you suibian to get those chains off you' omg...

wait this is when the second drunk scene happens? really? do we need this? it seems a little thrown-together

this is dumb...it's not funny it's annoying to watch and the stealing and graffiti is silly. not a fun scene

oh sweet jyl, they've hit even you with their hideous child designs

oh, it really is beautiful down there by the water

it's a bit weird to have the lsz and wen ning convo as a flashback but the transition to a romantic scene actually really works. this is gay as hell. this is tender

well, lwj's alseep so that's that

I'm sorry lxc shows up NOW to tell him about the branding scars and whip marks??? I'm glad they're getting it in but it seems like a haphazard way to organize the information

the cave scene is so kinda stupid...it's not as dumb in this show as in the novel because lxc isn't actually angry at wwx for not remembering, nor is it played for drama in the moment in the same way it was in the book

but dude the subtext IS real. I see it and I appreciate it

but how did he get to this cave. why does he have to be here to destroy STA?

didn't he already destroy it in the book, or at least part of it?

this cave is so hyper-realistic it's creepy

jin ling getting the jiang bell!! idk what it means but it's making him upset!!! sweetie?

jc going into cultivation offscreen awesome

yes I remember this gossip at the end about nhs being close to the book dialogue

doesn't bode very well, does it. only three or so years of peace? damn

im sorry I do not understand this conversation. STA hasn't been destroyed?

awww wei family donkey flashback. they're really throwing all the romance into these last few scenes. they're nothing like they were even at the beginning of the season. that's been a fun change

wcz was one handsome man my god

wwx's voice gets so annoying when he's happy sorry to sound like a killjoy

holy shit he said "all we're missing is a little one" out LOUD. TWICE

the lsz scene is super sweet but I wish we'd seen the things he talks about remembering

but!!!! direct comparison of him and lwj and lsz to his parents. omg

I don't know what's changed in these past few episodes but wen ning's voice now sounds fine

HE SAID WANGXIAN OHHH MY GOD

I saw this scene when it aired and completely forgot. holy shit

the subtext became text! I have got to fucking hand it to them!

now I wonder if cql was under different censorship restrictions because a lot happened here that I don't think was allowed in cql, not just the romance but also the demonic cultivation

but anyway!!!! that's a really nice ending!!! I am happy with it, it was as loyal to the book as it could have been, it was very intentionally gay, and it's a really strong sendoff.

a post I saw, which was written before s3 ever came out, called the donghua more homoerotic than cql at points. I thought that sounded unlikely, and I wouldn't agree with that assessment for s1 and s2. but s3? yeah. there are definitely points here where the romantic subtext was stronger than in the drama, and their relationship in the past few episodes even felt more natural and mutual than in some drama scenes

I sometimes think about scene in cql of wwx denying he ever offered to carry lwj...what was the point of that...it made me sad

anyway I think that cql did write a very strong romance but it had plenty of weak spots due to adaptational changes and some plot inconsistencies. by sticking more closely to the book, the donghua was able to build a relationship similar to the way the novel built one which left less pressure for romance in early scenes together and allowed the relationship to change rather radically, organically, and interestingly within the present-day timeline. they didn't write themselves into a corner over why after so many years wwx and lwj still haven't Talked About It, and they mostly avoided the plot holes that bogged down cql

I still don't like how lwj never apologized for holding wwx hostage, lwj is still flat and bland and I don't get a sense he's learned about boundaries or changed very much, and I don't really like either of the characters, but it feels like the best feasible ending the novel was going for. they DO have chemistry and I do like them together

but overall yeah never thought I'd be saying this but the romance in the donghua may be short and have a somewhat bad start, but in the end it's pretty good. without the bullshit of dafan mtn and ch 96, I found myself feeling a lot warmer towards their relationship than I expected. I'm really glad this show got made

final season: 9/10!! I thought it was really good! I don't want to go through all my rankings and stuff but it was a great season!

oh btw the first season is called "the past" the second one is 'the reborn" and the third one is "the final chapter"

#mdzs donghua lb #well fuck me if the donghua didn't come through

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inklingleesquidly · 7 years ago

Text

THE WISDOM OF LEE SQUIDLY

CHAPTER 4

Lee Squidly has been called into action. Callie has gone missing and according to Marie he’s her only hope in finding her. There is a lot more going on in Octo Canyon than Lee truly knows but Is he up to the task when he is uncertain of even his own feelings?

A new journey of discovery awaits our hero as he comes to realize what the true meaning of the relationship between the Squid Sisters is, and what they mean to others..

Featuring a friend’s Squad

Word count: 2,306

CHAPTER 3 CAN BE FOUND HERE

Going off the beaten path, Lee and Mooky were pushing their way through a dense overgrowth of vegetation. Like a flashlight, light shown through Mooky’s eyes to guide them through the darkened night. “If we proceed at this pace, Master Lee, we shall arrive in Slimeskin Garrison tomorrow morning.”

“Great,” Lee mumbled, pushing up a thin branch he accidentally ran into. “Hopefully the last person we’re supposed to meet has something for us and--.” He suddenly froze, feeling something awry that made him tense. “Say Mooky did you ever get the feeling you were being watched?”

Mooky explained, “My sensors do show there are many signs of life within this kettle but I am certain they are all the native fauna.” The little robot turned and raised his arm, hoping to give comfortable assurance to his master, “There is no need to be fearful; we are far enough away from any posts for anyone to wish to attack--.”

The whole world seemed to turn upside-down as they were pounced upon. Both Lee and Mooky felt themselves immobilized by something coiling around their feet and helplessly had their heads bashed against the hard dirt before they were lifted into the air. Panic set in quick; neither could see their mysterious assailant shrouded in the night’s darkness. A shrill, threatening voice shouted at them, “Who are you and what are you doing sneaking around out here?!”

That voice, Lee could swear he recognized it. In his confusion and dismay he managed to babble, “Wh-huh, M—Mrs. Mist?”

“Huh,” the voice of their attacker suddenly softened, so did the vague outline of their posture Lee could make out in the dark. He had to squeeze his eyes shut from a flashlight shined in his face but he could hear them say, “Lee Squidly is that really you?”

They spoke with a tone of chastising authority that was uncanny to a parent and their identity was only confirmed to him by Mooky, “Ohh good evening Ms. Shelby, it is unexpected to meet you here in Octo Canyon.”

Gently, carefully setting them down and shining the light on herself, there was no mistaking it, Lee identified her as Shelby Mist; a friend of his mom’s and mother to a close friend. Alarmed by his presence, she dusted off his shirt and fixed his collar, “I’m so sorry Honey, I hope I didn’t hurt you, I hope— hey, wait a minute!” Her tone then radically shifted, “Does your mother know you’re here?” She queried.

“Uhh,” Lee stuttered, looking down at Mooky who could only offer a similar blank stare. “E-yes,” Lee finally answered, actually telling her a half-truth. In his haste to leave after receiving Marie’s message he scribbled a note for his mom that he left stuck to the refrigerator.

With her hands on her hips, that answer didn’t satisfy Shelby at all. In the end she dropped the subject with another question, “Well, did you get separated from the rest of your squad?”

“It is only us together, Ms. Shelby,” Mooky informed.

She let out a sharp gasp of disbelief, “Are you serious?!” Lee confirmed with a nod which Shelby answered with another disapproving shake of her head. “This won’t do, this won’t do at all,” she chided. “Come with me,” she then beckoned, taking his hand and leading Lee through the brush with Mooky hurriedly following behind.

A short walk lead them to what looked like a sheltered campsite with five teenagers crowded around a roaring fire. “Everyone, look, you’ll never guess who I found sneaking around in the bushes,” Shelby summoned their attention. When they turned to gaze at Lee, he couldn’t believe his eyes; he recognized them. It was the Slayaz; a rival Squad he had numerous Turf Battles against with his own team back in Inkopolis. Lee would’ve never expected to see them here and most of all he wouldn’t expect to see someone in particular.

“Lee,” one member of the team shot up from his seat. “LEE!” He repeated, breathless as he dashed up to him, hugging the breath out of him. “LEE, I DON’T BELIEVE IT, IT’S YOU,” he screamed in his ear as he lifted the younger boy off his feet. He was Shelby’s son and one of Lee’s best friends, Vincent Mist. Lee could only gawk blankly as Vincent was nearly hysterical, “You like-- you haven’t called me or answered my calls or like—just—anything in months since you got hurt! I was real worried dude; don’t ever ignore me like that again!

Lee looked him in the eyes, the worry was there, it made him feel so ashamed that he really hadn’t said a single word to his best pal since he got injured. “I’m sorry.” That was all he could say.

“It’s okay,” Vincent hadn’t released his grip on his buddy the entire time, “I’m just glad you’re all right.”

A snide voice jokingly called out, “Aww, if you miss him so much why don’t you give ‘im a big ole kiss.” It was Totty, the Squad leader who always seemed to have it in for teasing Lee.

She was joined by the other two members of the Squad, Hunter and Cerberus making crude and mocking smooching noises before bursting into laughter.

Lee always took their teasing with undignified silence but Vincent snapped back with a laugh, “Hue hue hue, maybe I will, jealous?” Totty scoffed and flicked her hand, practically smacking away his retort, releasing a chorus of jovial laughs from the group.

With that Vincent guided Lee over to sit with him as everyone continued their conversation. He came to learn, unsurprisingly, that they were here by Marie’s request Hearing that made Lee’s heart leap in his throat.

Without a doubt they were a strong, unified team; the wins and losses he had against them were proof of that but knowing the danger of being squids in Octopus country during turbulent times, his own experiences made him fearful for their very lives. There was such a disconnect with the worry he felt and the joking and merriment that was present with the Slayaz. Except for one that is, Lee didn’t even notice them at first but amidst their ranks was another squid he would later learned was named Keith. They were so quiet, so secluded to themselves. Normally Lee would do everything he could to involve them in the gathering not now wasn’t the time.

Lee felt himself zoning out, consumed by his own thoughts while Mooky relayed the progress of their adventure to the Slayaz. He snapped back to reality when Shelby strolled around with a hot pot that had been sitting over the fire. “Okay kids, soup’s on,” she said with a relaxed smile, as if they really were on a casual camping trip. Paper plates were passed around as well as buns to eat the hot dogs she served along with a hefty helping of baked beans for everyone.

Looking down at his meager meal, Lee didn’t have much of an appetite. It only made him groan with annoyance, Dang it Marie, is this really all you gave everyone? He thought, only growing more aggravated with her than he already was.

He eventually heard Mooky concluding his recollection of their story. “And that is everything,” he said with a plate of food in his hands, having been given one by Shelby despite not needing to eat. “Miss Marie is counting on Master Lee’s love for Miss Callie to lead the investigation in the right direction.”

That affinity for Callie had always been used as fuel for them to tease him but now, the Slayaz all looked to be in agreement with Mooky. Vincent seemed to speak on behalf of everyone, “Well if that’s the qualifications for the job than Lee’s the perfect fit!”

Totty interjected, wondering, “Still, wouldn’t it be great if we were the ones to find her and bring her home first? We’d be Top Squad overnight.”

“That’s not important,” Vincent shot back, tightly balling his fist. “This isn’t about us getting to say ‘Oh look we saved Callie and brought the Squid Sisters back together’, no.”

“Huh,” Lee whispered under his breath.

“Like ‘em or hate ‘em the Squid Sisters were a big part of our lives when we started playing Turf Wars and them being apart and gone—it’s like, it’s like having friends or even family being away from you.” Vincent hooked his arm around Lee’s neck before he continued, “I know you guys aren’t as big of fans of the Squid Sisters as Lee and I but like, remember when we first started out? One of the first dance routines we came up with was to Squid Sisters songs!” They all seemed to groan in embarrassment at that memory.

Vincent wasn’t deterred, he begged, “Aww come on guys it was fun, and I mean remember all those fan fests we and the rest of the squads came up with back at home? Weren’t those a blast?” That they could all agree on, even Lee found himself smiling at the memory of so many friends and rivals brought together for their own privately run tournaments. He concluded, “They just been such an inspiration that I could just talk forever about them.”

Totty groaned, “Can one of you play some music so he gets the hint to wrap it up?”

“Okay, okay,” Vincent conceded, “It just means a lot to me, and I’m sure to Lee to that you’d come all this way to help out the cause. You guys are the best.”

As well as he knew his friend it was quite the surprise to Lee to hear him be so insightful. After dinner, Lee was invited to spend the night camping with them. As much as he wanted to proceed, both Mooky and Shelby heavily convinced him to take the offer and get a good night’s rest. That ended up being impossible to do with everything he was thinking and feeling.

Waking at the crack of dawn, Lee collected Mooky and left the Slayaz’s camp as quiet as could be. His escape didn’t go unnoticed however. “What are you doing, Lee,” the voice of Shelby startled Lee.

He jolted and screamed, “WAHH,” just loud enough to awaken Mooky who had still been in sleep mode.

She was up bright and early; being the last in the group’s rotation to keep watch. Shelby apologized, “I’m sorry for scaring you, Sweetie, but are you sure you want to leave? I know you’re worried about your friend but you’d be much safer and be able to cover more ground if you stuck with us.”

Friend? Wanting to maintain the secrecy of their relationship, Lee tried to explain, “Ohhh uh, w-we’re not friends, I’m just a really big fan is all, heh-eh, hasn’t Vinny showed you the fan pages I moderate?”

Holding her hand up to stop his babbling, Shelby revealed what she knew. “I’m a mom, I know everything including you and Callie. It’s really sweet how much she means to you so don’t worry, I haven’t told Vinny about your secret.” He reasoned that his own mom must’ve mentioned it to her. Gossip of their kids spread easily among mothers but he knew he could trust her to keep her word.

“But I can’t go with you, Mrs. Mist, I kind of have some things to do to find Callie, and I need to do them on my own.”

That didn’t fly right by Shelby. With her hands on her hips, she eyed him with frustration, “But why? We all have the same goal in mind, we need to help each other and—Lee, there’s something I need to ask you. Are you doing this to save your friend or to save your friendship?” Lee’s breath got caught in his throat, saying that so directly really caught him off guard, especially when she pressed the issue more. “If you were doing this to help your friend you’d welcome all the help you can get. But if you’re just looking to be the hero by saving her on your own then I’m afraid there’s something seriously wrong with your priorities.”

Her eyes bore a hole straight through him as she awaited his answer—but the trouble was Lee didn’t have an answer for her. It should’ve been an easy reply to make. Of course he was here to help his friend! Lee could only stammer and stutter though until Mooky spun around on his back to answer for him. “Yes, we are here expressly for Miss Callie, Miss Shelby. Lee has been instructed to meet with very important people, Agents, and their presence is unknown by the Agency. Meeting with the civilians under Marie’s employ could spell trouble for them so we are to meet them ourselves.”

Unable to recall if that truly was part of his itinerary in meeting the informants, a part of Lee wondered if Mooky cooked up a lie to help him save face in front of Shelby? Regardless, most of it was true so he confirmed to the prodding mother, “Y-yeah, that’s why, that’s exactly why!”

That seemed to suffice for Shelby, at least after she sighed audibly. “Okay,” she said, “I’m worried just as much about you as I am about Vincent and his friends. If you’re gonna do this at least take this extra blanket so you don’t get cold, and take a couple of these energy bars to, and please stay out of trouble, Honey.”

Accepting the supplies, Lee took his leave as the first rays of the morning sun began to shine over the horizon. I promise, Callie, he thought, I’ll find you soon, so everyone brought here to look for you like Vincent can go home and be safe.

#splatoon #splatoon 2 #nintendo #fan fiction #lee squidly

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