#and my head just went 'DESTIEL'

[hells-plaid-angel]

Julia Armfield - Our Wives Under the Sea

[zaynsclitoris]

i’m always shocked at how deep dean supernaturals voice is he looks too femme

this is such a can of worms it’s so funny that you sent this to me

[m4yday-m4yday]

i went back to the boba tea shop and i drew destiel

it's kind of ehh bc the barista was looking at me the whole time and i was nervous ;-;

probably cus i was in there for 90 minutes just sitting there drawing and nodding my head aggressively to green day in my earbuds with my very visibly finished drink next to me i should have left lmao

[tvfangirladdict]

New Show Rec!!!!

If you enjoy watching two men with black cat/golden retriever energy(and not in the order you'd assuume) behave like a bickering, old married couple while simultaneously calling each other 'babe', telling each other they love them all the time, and kicking ass, I've got a show for you. Seriously, you don't even need subtext with these two, they're just blatantly in love with each other and everyone and their mother knows it.

I've fallen down a new rabbit hole. I was looking for a new show to watch and decided to give Hawaii Five-0 a shot finally because I've seen some overlapping appreciation in the Buddie, Destiel, and One Chicago Fandoms. And damn, this did not disappoint. How are more people not completely insane over McDanno??????

Personally, I didn't watch before now because even though I enjoyed MacGyver for a while, I didn't want another overdramatic procedural show filled with outlandish action scenes and bad CGI done by CBS. Cop shows are a dime a dozen now, and nothing about it really stuck out to me. But man, I was wrong.

I was thoroughly impressed by the first season. Between the chemistry between Steve and Danny, the amazing fight scenes that are better than most blockbusters, and their focus on character stories, I was hooked faster than ever.

And while the writing went down hill towards the end just like with most shows(I guess there was a lot going on bts and people were unhappy, I don't know much) and we didn't get the ending we wanted, it's still worth the watch. Besides, this is the perfect recipe for more and better fanfiction to be written in my opinion, when viewers are left unsatisfied.

Anyway, I know the shows a few years old now and the fandom's probably pretty quiet, I'd like to recommend this to any of the Buddie, Destiel, Sevasey, Sterek, etc shippers. There's probably other fandoms and ships similar to these that would enjoy McDanno too, but these are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Basically, two guys working together with 'old married couple' energy and an unprecedented number non-platonic interactions. These two are the worst I've ever seen in the best way.

So if I can share this with even just one person, I'll be happy, because this is so amazing to watch after living off of scraps on shows like 911 and Supernatural.

[rosemariad]

THE BITTER END | SPN 15x18 DESPAIR: About that Destiel moment in 15x18

Oh boy…the scene that sailed a thousand memes (and counting)…the scene that made us all go feral in the midst of a contentious presidential elections in one of the most disruptive, chaotic years in recent memory (2020 you son of a bitch)

Now i am super late with this since it’s nearly been 4 years since this was aired live on TV and posted like crazy all over the internet BUT…y’all Destiel shippers got robbed. Not just with this scene but the whole Destiel ship in general - just done so dirty.

I started watching this show on and off back in 2021 and I finally got to finish over the summer this year (2024) taking my sweet time, even rewatching certain episodes (for some fanfic writing 😁). I went into this to settle the debate for myself - is this Destiel stuff legit? Or was it taken out of context? Misconstrued.

No. It really wasn’t. They (the powers behind SPN) tried it, tried to pull the wool over people’s heads, with certain fans chiming in (the destiel haters, the homophobes, the anti-mishas, etc.) but no. The SPN showrunners fucked all this up.

From the beginning….

So it’s 15x18 despair - we’re in the last act - shit’s popping off, everything’s going tits up - Billie is trying to hunt Dean down, calling him chaos incarnate. Dean & Cas get trapped in a room with no apparent means of escape or defense - probably should’ve headed for the exit - but I guess since it’s the 3rd to last episode and the execs clearly want things to go back to the status quo 🙄 now’s as good a time as any to cash in on that plot thread from last season and kill Castiel once and for all 😭 (as 1 person pointed out, given the prior context they probably could've just waited Billie out, since them being trapped in that room - Cas was the one that blocked the door anyhow - but I get it SPN showrunners you wanted to get rid of Cas somehow - what a mess)

If you haven’t watched it - here’s where I gasp and scoff in disbelief - please watch it https://youtu.be/l_r9GZeQl1w?si=uVox8PlXByYEYKci

Basically Cas tells Dean he’s the greatest guy he’s ever known, that he fights for love and that Cas lurves Dean 😭 and he’s not the bad things enemies say Dean is. That he’s more than the worst parts of himself - oh Cas.

This was Castiel’s one moment of true happiness - telling the one person whom he adores more than anyone or anything else in the entire universe - that he is loved by Castiel himself.

The confession that triggers Castiel’s demise to go with the empty, takes Billie with him and before Dean can process the massive TRUTH BOMB Castiel just dumped on him, Castiel is gone.

Despair indeed.

They made too many fucking cuts to this scene, at least for Jensen’s coverage. Like if you don’t want Dean to reciprocate…fine. Don’t. But let him fucking respond! Let him use his words. Castiel just told Dean he was in love with him, that is one of the BIGGEST things you can say to somebody in your life. EVER. Especially on TV. And yes it was in love, like romantically. Not platonically because why make such a fucking fuss over fucking platonic friendship! There’s always been a tension between these 2 characters, it hung over between them since season 4. They just made it into a joke, never expecting to get the traction it did over the years. They even tried writing Cas off the show for good back in season 7. But they got stuck with Cas and never really made proper use of him. They literally just waited until the last minute to get rid of him in a way that couldn’t get the show cancelled until that decision had already been made by the network. to make things worse - COVID happened

So don’t tell me the confession doesn’t merit a response, either for or against on Dean’s part - whether he returns Castiel’s affection or not is another story but dammit let Dean speak! How could you not? Cowards!

And Would it be so terrible if Dean did feel something MORE than friendship for the only other individual that has stood by him for so many years? Like really? A relationship doesn’t demand sex (but let’s be honest, Cas probably wanted to fuck the shit outta Dean 🤣) it’s whatever the people in the relationship want! Dean isn’t young by the time s15 rolls around. Older people tend to just want someone to come home to, settle down with. Companionship. Cas fits that to a fucking T. When Dean dreamed of a future, Cas was right there with him (and Sam, cuz Dean always wants his family close as much as he can, given how he grew up).

Couldn’t find a gif of Dean talking about taking some time off after all the craziness of the hunting they do but I’m not crazy I know he wanted it.

The team behind SPN could have finished Dean’s narrative beautifully as man who was driven by fear all his life and opens himself up to a relationship he never saw coming but when the time came he didn’t run because he grew to love more than fear (and choose to live a life of peace after stuck in one of violence for so many years).

This is why Hollywood is shit! Great beginnings, shitty endings. But in this case, it was because they consistently chose NOT to indulge in queer-like narratives with enough care (aside from some other problematic stuff like the treatment towards women being more negative than positive, the inconsistent writing for characters and plot, etc.)

BUT not when it’s the main character 😡 Charlie can be gay AF but not Dean, seriously? That’s fucked. Like at least let him fucking explore/consider it. So people stop watching it who gives AF?! I never even watched the show when it was on air for 15 years, tons of people didn’t. There are still people out there watching SPN for the first time today! People who started but stopped because it’s a show that ran WAAAY longer than any other normally does.

Idk who made it so that Dean couldn’t explore his sexuality or fucked up the Destiel of it all but they SUUUUUUUUCK! You really shat the bed! at least explore it cuz at the end of the day, it may not work out. Gay relationships aren’t that different from straight relationships in that sometimes it just doesn’t work out BECAUSE we’re ALL people. And who knows maybe they could’ve been happy but we’re not allowed to know that canonically because Destiel was never given a CHANCE!

I mean if it was REALLY that big a deal – why introduce it? By making these little suggestions that (in a way that's funny but why would Dean be queer be haha funny - no that's not okay, queerness shouldn't be a joke) furthermore we’re talking about a show on basic cable - all it would’ve taken was fucking hand-holding or the same routine of staring into each other’s eyes like they’d been doing for 12 fucking years already! Just not shying away from the queerness that time. Legend of Korra did it. That 1 Disney show did it (i don’t remember the name). No kissing would’ve been necessary - nice, wishful thinking but not necessary if the kissing became an issue (but seriously it was 2020 man but ofc - that is a year where a pandemic that required social distancing decided to kick in during the final arc of this show) - just so we’re all clear COVID cock blocked Destiel lol jk 🤣

All those times they had Dean & Cas stare into each other's eyes – the forces at work – showrunners, writers, directors AND editors & the network who is showing this to audiences – if its such a big fucking deal - Don't leave it in. By leaving it in, you're allowing people to make assumptions about the relationship – it happens literally every time in every story ever told. You put 2 people in a scene and they're not family (though not always the case) or JUST friends (explicitly proven) there's a chance SOMEONE is gonna wanna ship them no matter how likely it is (OR NOT) they'll hookup or become a couple. That's just how it is. So don't fan the flames and then turn it around on fans that they're wrong, crazy or misinterpreting. If Wincest can exist, so can Destiel and any other ship. That being said, y’all Destiel shippers were ROBBED but I don’t need to tell you that.

I don’t think the relationship would’ve been perfect or smooth sailing - their friendship as it was on the show sure wasn’t. And Dean wasn’t the only one with issues - Cas had some bad qualities too - the angel liked to lie and for a while there he was extremely averse to conflict. And Dean…he gets real fucking angry 😬 not a good mix for a relationship- hell even a friendship.

But the two had a profound bond, with a great deal of affection for one another and that’s what got them through betrayal, fights, amnesia, curses, apocalypses, and all the ugliness in between. They could’ve made it. Or they could’ve just had Cas and Dean stay friends - but we’ll never know since Cas was pretty much omitted after 15x18 - there were references - like only 2 though 😒

Really SPN? 😒😔 so lazy. But sure, go ahead, blame COVID. It’s not like phones exist. It’s not like the actor couldn’t have just recorded Castiel’s voice nope. Totally not an option 🤦🏾‍♀️ same goes for the other characters - Jody, Donna, Eileen - you know all the other characters Sam & Dean cared about but sure - fuck ‘em too. Status quo is the only thing that matters - SMH.

[ohsc]

Hmm what about Destiel, Dean lashes out at Cas for whatever reason you like

Comfort angst ofc :3

hi lovely!! tysm for the req <3 | destiel, 0.9k, hurt/comfort, fluff, kinda unedited

His eyes were pulsing. Dean squeezed his eyes shut, a palm pressed to his forehead, and he prayed that the pain would subside soon.

Well, maybe prayed was the wrong term. The only reason he had a headache was because he’d been so stressed after the argument with his angel. Maybe he didn’t get the right to pray in that moment.

His mattress was too hard beneath his back, his head hurt too much, his room was too quiet, and all he wanted was to roll over and lay his head on Cas’ chest until the pain went away. Instead, he laid alone in his bedroom with a bottle of whiskey and the guilt that settled heavily on his chest, and the knowledge that Cas was sat alone in the library.

It had been an argument that had gotten far more heated than necessary, and had been so bad that Sam had taken Jack out of the room when things had really kicked off. They shouted, said things they didn’t mean, and then Dean retreated back to his room feeling sick and growing a headache.

That had been two hours ago.

Dean groaned and rolled onto his side, grabbed one of his pillows and pushed it so tightly against his head in an attempt to block out any light in the room, wanting the ache to just go away. Realistically, he knew he could’ve just asked Cas to use his grace, but Dean was too stubborn to go back out there, even if he wanted nothing more in that moment then his angel.

With the pillow shoved tightly against the side of his head, more importantly his ear, the only thing Dean was able to hear was the thump thump thump of the headache in his skull, so he wasn’t aware that the door had opened until he felt a hand on his shoulder and he flinched, shoved the pillow off and sat up so quickly that his neck cracked.

“Jesus Christ, Cas.”

Cas was sat on the bed beside Dean’s knees, and he looked ever so guilty at making him jump. “Sorry, Dean.”

Dean scrubbed a hand over his face, pushed a breath out of his lungs as he sat out properly. “Thought we’d gotten over you scarin’ the shit outta me when you stopped zapping everywhere.”

Another apology seemed to be on the tip of the angel’s tongue before he paused, frowning. “What’s wrong?”

Dean glared, a deadpanned look. “Oh, nothing. I’m having such a pleasant evening.”

Cas’ look also soured. “No, not that. You look like you’re in pain. What’s wrong? I can help.”

Dean clenched his jaw, and tried to stop his eyelids from blinking too much beneath the light of his bedroom, which made the pulsing headache feel like a sledgehammer. “It’s fine.”

“Dean.”

He huffed a breath. Cas always had held a habit of seeing right through him. “Feels like I’ve got Annie Wilkes knocking around my skull.”

“You could have come and told me,” Cas spoke with far more gentleness than Dean deserved as he leaned forwards, and pressed his palm to Dean’s forehead, his other hand lifting to cradle his jaw. The first touch was necessary, the latter wasn’t. It made Dean feel better than whatever the grace would do. He didn’t seem mad anymore. “Here.”

Cas’ eyes flashed and the relief in his head was palpable. Dean closed his eyes and let out a shuddered breath as it felt like cold water was poured over and inside his head, washed away any remnants of the headache until the only pain left was the guilt settled within his ribs, along with the enochian that Cas had carved there, like he had carved a space for himself within Dean’s soul.

“Thanks,” when he reopened his eyes, he was met with the usual comforting blue of his angel’s eyes. “Listen, Cas-”

“It’s fine,” Cas’ throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I understand that I was being a little difficult-”

“Understatement.”

The angel glared before he continued. “Sometimes I forget that my actions can get a little reckless. This is the first time in… eternity, that I’ve ever had somebody to be safe for.”

His stupid boyfriend and his stupid poetic words. If he hadn’t already forgiven him, then he would’ve then.

“You sap,” Dean rolled his eyes, but felt himself glow when he got a small smile in response. “Sorry for yelling though, man. I just… don’t like the idea of you getting hurt. Y’know. Again,” his own lips quirked up too. “If you could stop dying for us like once a month that’d be great.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Dean smiled, the rift between them healed as quickly as his headache had been, and leaned in to kiss him. Kisses had meant nothing to Dean for so long. Kisses had just meant that the girl he’d met at whatever bar he was at was someone he’d possibly spend the night with. It had always been rushed and lustful, tongue and spit and lipgloss. He’d never kissed somebody as carefully as he kissed Cas; a hand on his jaw, slow precise movements, shared breaths. Love.

When he pulled back, Cas had also completely softened. “Dean?”

“Mm?”

“You should stop dying for us, too.”

Dean snorted. A fair trade, it seemed.

[cinderellarhea]

people i want to know better!

tagged by @herrmannhalsteadproduction (I love stuff like this thank u for tagging ❤️❤️)

LAST SONG? Live and let die by Paul McCartney (it was in my head bc of this bucktommy spy au fic by @herrmannhalsteadproduction (whaaa who’s that hehe 🥰) which everyone should read!!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/57261649/chapters/145654609 )

FAVORITE COLOR? PINK 🩷

CURRENTLY WATCHING? I binged all of 911 this summer so then I just…. went back to season 1 and started again 🥰 I’m also rewatching Leverage for the like 1000th time ! Everyone should watch/rewatch leverage in the summer it’s so fun!!!!!

LAST MOVIE? Twister (my sister wanted to see this as a joke and but it was like really good) also. Whenever I watch stuff I ask: Could Destiel do this? The answer for Twister is yes.

SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY? Sweet!!!!!! I love chocolate the most 🩷🍫🍩🍪

RELATIONSHIP STATUS? Single :0 I want a girlfriend sooooo bad is anyone taking applications hahah 😘🏳️‍🌈

CURRENT OBSESSIONS? Im like. Obsessed with 911. Like it’s bad I have it bad. Like Evan Buck Buckley is soooooooo blorbo I’m rotating him in my mind 🫡❤️ I have like …… 124 ao3 tabs open rn. I’m not exaggerating. 😂🥰 also !!!!! Really obsessed with storytelling/story structures rn - I think it’s bc a lot of my students are doing college essays rn and bc I took another writing class this summer ! But I’m just so interested in the movement and flow and structure of stories rn ! Im like usually obsessed with that but I’m working on my own fiction too rn so like the obsession is stronger again!!!!!

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED? Im not 100% sure and when I went to check my tabs it’s just all ao3 so like. Yeah. Idk.

This was fun! Tagging ppl no pressure but if you wanna make one!!! ❤️

@daalcuntynatural @butch--dean @chronicpainnatural @kerryweaverlesbian @ohithankyou @desert--moonchild @kinard-buckley @ily-tothecore @perfectlysunny02 @aspecbuddie

[ltleflrt]

for that prompt game you reblogged, how about destiel and #7? :)

…to shut them up. (kiss prompts)

The groans of misery coming from the kitchen told Castiel that Dean hadn’t given up on playing his favorite game while Castiel had gone to answer the door.  He smiled over the pizza boxes stacked in his arms when another round of dismay burst from the kitchen.

“Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?” Dean asked as Castiel stepped through the doorway.  His eyes sparkled with mischief and he grinned at his reluctant audience.  “Because they had a fight and 2021.”

“What the fuck,” Claire demanded.

Dean’s grin widened and he leaned into her, bumping shoulders.  “Get it? C’mon, I know you get it.”

Claire put a hand over Dean’s face and shoved him away.  “I get it! Now get out of my face!”

Across the table, Sam had his face in his hands, Jody looked like she was ready to go for her gun, Donna was red in the face from trying to stifle her giggles behind her hands, and Jack was frowning in confusion.

“I don’t get it,” Jack said.

“You know,” Dean said, gesturing expansively as Castiel set the pile of pizza boxes on the table.  “Twenty twenty won. It won the fight!”

Jack shook his head slowly.  “But numbers can’t fight.”

“Oh my god,” Sam murmured, “this is the seven ate nine joke all over again.”

Just for that, Castiel hoped the veggie pizza was on the bottom of the stack.  He settled down in his seat next to Dean, and smiled when a warm hand found his thigh under the table.

“You get it, right, Cas?” Dean asked hopefully.  “You know, because twenty--”

Castiel cut him off with a kiss.  Dean made a surprised sound and went still for a moment before he kissed back.  His lips curled against Castiel’s in a smile, and his fingers tightened on Castiel’s thigh.  And then his tongue brushed against Castiel’s bottom lip, and Castiel--

“Ew, not in front of my salad,” Claire grumped, through a mouth full of pizza.

--Castiel forgot they had an audience.  But he didn’t feel even a little abashed, as he leaned back.  Dean’s eyes were a little glazed, and his cheeks were pink.  Beautiful, as always.

“What was that for?” Dean murmured.

“It was the easiest way to shut you up,” Castiel pointed out, grinning when Dean began to splutter.  “It was either that or shove pizza in your mouth.”

“I’ll shove something in your mouth,” Dean grumbled.  Then he went bright red, when he realized just exactly what he’d said.

“Later,” Castiel promised.  “Pizza first.  And no more dad jokes.”

Dean blushed harder, but he scooted a little closer to Castiel on the bench, and his hand strayed a little higher on Castiel’s thigh.  

[watchandread02]

For the "Holidays with the Winchesters: A very Destiel Advent Calendar" by @archervale and @wormstacheangel

Day Twenty five: Announcement

Ao3

Sam stops in his tracks as he is about to pass the living room. There lying on the couch all snuggled up together, were Dean and Cas. Cas arms are wrapped protectively around Dean, as Dean’s head lays pillowed on his chest. Sam rubbed his eyes in disbelief, but no, the two of them were still there. He walks into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee and waits for everyone else to wake up. Though it would probably take some time, as they had stayed up pretty late last night, it being New Years Eve. Slowly everyone else trickled in and by the looks on their faces, they had seen the pair snuggled up on the couch as well.

“Do you think they finally admitted their feelings for each other?” Jack asks, after everyone has settled around the table, while being varying degrees of awake.

“To be completely honest. I don’t know,” Sam says while running his hand through his hair, “they have always been pretty up in each other's space, though Dean always tries to deny it. It could be that they just fell asleep on the couch together, after everyone else already went to sleep.”

“We’ll just have to wait and see, until the two wake up,” Charlie voices.

A few minutes later they all look towards the doorway, as they hear footsteps approaching. Dean comes into view, though the former angel is nowhere to be seen.

“Good morning, to all of you too. You good there?” Dean asks as he walks towards the coffee machine, to pour himself a cup of coffee.

“Yeah all, good. Everything alright with you?” Jody asks, the first to recover and stop staring after Dean.

“Jup. Slept pretty good,” Dean answers, as he begins to make breakfast for himself, pulling eggs and bacon out of the fridge. “Are you still expecting something, or why do you all keep looking towards the door?”

“Oh, uh, I guess. Still waiting for Cas to show up,” Claire replies.

Dean starts scrambling the eggs as he says, “I’m sure he’ll be here in a moment. He’s still adjusting to being human after all. Takes him a bit longer to wake up in the morning.”

And true to his word, Cas walks through the door a few moments later. Cas still looks half asleep as he trudges up to Dean, who without looking up hands Cas his cup of coffee. Cas takes a sip, before putting the cup down and to everyone's shock hugging Dean from behind, resting his head between Dean's shoulder blades.

Dean huffs out a laugh, as he works around the arms now encircling his waist, “you alright there, Octopus?”

Cas mumbles something unintelligible to the people sitting at the table, with their mouths dropped wide open in shock at the scene before them. Dean seemed to have understood though as he says, “I’m almost finished here Cas, why don’t you take the coffee to the table and i’ll join you in a moment?”

Cas does as he was told, taking the cup and heading for the only two seats still open. Dean finishes up at the stove and plates up the food, before moving to sit down next to Cas. After Dean placed the plate on the table, a hand on his wrist stops him from sitting down. Cas uses that hand to pull Dean into his lap and wraps his arms around Dean. Instead of tensing up and shooting up like Sam thought his brother would, he just relaxes into the hug and starts eating, occasionally feeding Cas some food. When the two are finished eating, they finally look around the room, noticing the silence for the first time.

“Do I have something on my face or something?” Dean asks, though Sam can detect the nervous tone in his brother's voice.

“Nah, just didn't expect you to act so domestic, Deano,” Gabriel answers.

Donna pipes up, “we kind of thought you would deny what we all saw, when we walked by the library. We didn’t take you for the big PDA type of person, Dean.”

Dean turns to look at Cas, who is watching him with literal heart eyes, though Dean isn’t far behind.

Finally Cas speaks up for the first time, “Dean and I got engaged yesterday. And we figured since there isn’t going to be anyone after us anymore, it would be okay for us to show our affection openly.”

There is silence as everyone takes in that new information.

Cas and Dean share a look and Dean breaks the silence by announcing, “Well surprise, I guess. We got engaged!”

“Wait!” Sam screams out.

Twin confused looks are turned towards Sam, “what do you mean wait?”

“You’re engaged?” Sam asks.

Dean rubs the back of his neck, “yeah we are. We thought you had all seen the rings,” they both hold up their left hands, where the rings placed on their ring fingers glimmer in the light.

“We thought you had finally gotten together. Don’t you think that immediately getting engaged is a bit fast? I mean we all know that you have loved each other for years. But we thought you would take it at a slower pace,” Claire explains.

“What do you mean by us just getting together? We have been together for years,” Cas says.

There is a beat of silence, before Gabe speaks up, “yeah none of us knew about that, Cassie.”

“We both thought that all your comments were to tease us about us getting together. All of you have commented on our relationship in some way. And we always thought that being discreet about it, would maybe keep some of our enemies from using our love for each other. And well, we just didn’t think we had to announce it to anyone. I mean come on, Sammy, Cas told me he loved me right in front of you. A lot of you have seen the way I acted when Cas was dead. Did seriously none of you know that Cas and I were together, before today?” Dean asks.

“Well apparently we hid it better than we thought we did, ” Cas voices, looking towards Dean, who is still sitting on Cas’ lap.

“Yeah I guess so,” Dean says, staring back at Cas.

The both of them move in and share a gentle kiss.

Sam is kind of weirded out by this. He had never thought that his brother could be this domestic with someone. Especially with Cas. Sam thought that he would never see the day his brother would be so comfortable in his own skin. And now in just a few hours, he had seen his brother cuddled up with Cas on the couch, sitting comfortably on Cas’ lap with everyone else's eyes on them and then sharing a kiss in front of all of them. And also finding out they had actually been together for years and gotten engaged. It will take some time for him to actually get used to this. Though he is still immensely happy for his brother and Cas.

Dean wiggles on Cas’ lap a bit, settling in even more, “you know that you’re actually really comfy, Cas?”

“Did you just call me fat, Dean?” Cas questions with an offended look on his face.

“I think I did. What are you gonna do about that?” Dean asks, a mischievous smile spreading across his face.

Cas releases the arms he had wrapped around Dean, “You better start running, I’ll give you a 5 second head start.”

Dean stares at Cas in shock for a moment before springing up from the angel's lap and running out of the room.

Cas looks at all of them for a moment, before getting up from his seat and calmly walking to the doorway, “If you would excuse me I’ve got a hunter to catch.”

With those words Cas too walks around the corner, his fast footsteps echoing down the hallway, before stopping completely, as a door slams closed, presumably Deans.

“I honestly don’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that, ” Sam voices, finally breaking the silent stupor they had all been sitting in. Though he feels a smile spreading across his lips, “I am happy for them though.”

The other let out an assortment of agreeable noises. Slowly they all get up from the table and start going about their day. All of them avoid getting too close to Dean and well apparently now also Cas’ room.

—

The night before

“Happy new year again, guys,” Sam speaks up, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over the three of them after Jody and Donna had gone to bed, a few minutes before.

“Happy new year, Sam,” Cas says, while Dean just nods, still reclined in his chair.

Sam finally stands up from the couch, “I’m gonna head to bed as well. Don’t stay up too late, okay?”

“You can’t tell me what to do, bitch,” Dean answers, to which Sam just gives him a bitch face and then leaves the room.

Dean waits a moment for Sam’s footsteps to fade away, before moving over to sit down beside Cas on the couch. Cas immediately pulls him close to his side and Dean snuggles in close.

“You know, I don’t think it would really bother anyone if we showed our affection

“I know that. But deep down, I still have this fear that some big bad will pop up. And that you will be used to make me suffer,” Dean admits, as he buries his head into Cas’ shoulder.

Cas pulls Dean’s face up from where he had been hiding it and makes him look into his eyes. Dean can see the love shining in them.

“I can totally understand your concerns, especially knowing what your life has been like. But be assured in the knowledge that even if there ever comes another ‘big bad’, none of the people in the bunker right now would ever rat our relationship out to anyone else. They haven’t over all the years we have been together, so they won’t start up now. So it should be alright for us to act at least a little bit more affectionate in front of everyone else,” Cas explains.

Dean just nods and cuddles close into Cas’ side again. Freely taking the comfort he needs at the moment. Dean palms the box in his pocket, nervously, debating if now is the moment.

Coming to a decision, Dean asks, “Hhy Cas, can I ask you something?”

“You just did,” at this Dean gives Cas a gentle shove, “go ahead, Dean.”

Taking one final fortifying breath, Dean gets off the couch and gets down on one knee.

Taking the box from his pocket and opening it up, Dean begins his speech, “I have loved you for so many years. So many of them in secret. Because we always had to look over our shoulders, in case anyone would be able to use our love against each other. But now that everything is calm, I want to show the whole world that I love you. It might still take me some time to do so fully in public, but I promise you that I will always do my best. I want to be able to tell people that you aren’t only my best friend, but that you’re also the love of my life. I want to be able to tell people that you’re my husband. So what do you say, Cas? Will you marry me?” Dean asks.

Cas nods with tears already starting to make their way down his face, “yes of course, I will! Of course, I’ll marry you!”

Dean places the ring on Cas’ finger with shaking hands, his vision is a little blurry because of the tears gathered in his eyes. Once the ring is securely placed on Cas’ finger, Css tackles Dean to the ground. Dean lets out a loud laugh, as Cas starts peppering his face with kisses. After a few moments Cas’ onslaught stops and they stare at each other for a moment, before moving in for a deep kiss. After they seperate for air, Cas pulls Dean up into a sitting position.

“You know I wanted to ask you something as well,” Cas says.

“What is it?” Dean wonders.

Cas rummages in his pocket for a moment, before pulling out a ring, “will you marry me as well, Dean?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Dean answers as he holds out his left hand so Cas can put the ring on it. Dean pulls Cas into a kiss, both of them smile into it.

After a few minutes of just basking in this new feeling, they finally get up from the ground and settle on the couch again. Dean starts to play with the fingers on Cas’ left hand, stroking his finger over the ring every so often.

“It’s kind of funny that we both had the same thought.” Dean says.

“I take this as a sign that we are both ready for the next step in our relationship. It’s actually very reassuring.” Cas says.

They sit in silence after that, both encouraged by Cas’ words. After a while Dean can feel his eyes starting to slip closed and his head comes to rest on Cas’ shoulder.

Cas lays down on the couch, pulling Dean down on top of himself. They lay there with their left hands entwined between, their rings resting against each other. As Dean listens to Cas’ heartbeat, he slowly starts to drift off, not being strong enough to make it back to his bedroom right now. A soft smile settles on his lips as he imagines the reactions they will get, when they announce that they are engaged tomorrow.

[1heartfanfics]

Stitched up

As promised, a destiel fic next. Set sometime after they're living in the bunker and Cas is newly human. Destiel is cannon-ish in this fic but not explicitly stated. Sam knows though lol.

---

"Nice job out there team, that was a rough one," Dean said as they walked down the steps to the bunker. They were all worn, beaten and bruised from taking down a nasty vamps next in Missouri. "Anybody need medical attention?" he asked.

Sam, who had been favoring his right leg since getting tossed down a flight of stairs, shrugged and limped over to the table to sit down. "Sprained my ankle probably but I'm alright other than that I think," he said.

Dean considered this answer, giving Sam a once over, and decided that it was honest enough. "Cas?" he asked.

"I'm fine, Dean," Cas said quickly.

"I'll be the judge of that. Sit down and take off your shirt," Dean said, gesturing to the chair across from Sam. Cas had a pretty gnarly blood stain on one sleeve of his coat that Dean was concerned about.

Cas sighed but walked over to the chair and sat down. He peeled off his coat and his shirt, leaving him in just a white tee. Sure enough, there was a pretty deep gash running down the side of Cas's bicep.

"See this Cas? This is not 'fine'," Dean huffed, getting up to grab the first aid kit.

"I didn't even feel that," Cas mumbled, looking down at his arm in surprise.

"You were hopped up on adrenaline," Dean shrugged. "It happens. Bet you feel it now though huh?" he asked.

Cas nodded with a wince. Dean was right. His arm was throbbing where the cut was now.

"Don't worry, I'll get you fixed up. You're gonna need some stitches though. I'm guessing you've never had any?" Dean asked.

Cas shook his head.

"Right. Here, drink up," Dean nodded, handing his flask over. Cas looked at it warily. He'd tried Dean's booze before and was never very impressed. It tasted like rubbing alcohol.

"It's the closest thing we've got to anesthetic," Sam piped up from across the table. "I'd take at least a couple sips if I were you," he added, having been stitched up many times himself.

So Cas took a couple drinks, wincing after each one. It did help to dull the pain in his arm some. He felt fuzzy. And warm.

"Yeah, that's the point Cas," Dean chuckled, getting his supplies ready on the table.

Oh. Cas hadn't realized he'd been speaking out loud.

"I'm gonna clean it first, it'll sting quite a bit but won't last long," Dean said, before pouring rubbing alcohol down Cas's arm. Cas flinched, drawing in a breath. But Dean was right, it faded as quickly as it had come.

Dean threaded a needle with a pack of sutures that they'd stolen from who knows where, then doused both with alcohol as well.

"Alright, here comes the bad part. This is gonna hurt a lot, but I'll be as quick and gentle as I can. If you need a break, just say the word and we'll stop for a minute okay?" Dean said, giving Cas the rundown. Cas nodded, but he looked nervous.

So Dean leaned toward Cas, bracing one hand on his good shoulder to keep him steady, his other hand wielding the needle. He paused a few inches away from Cas's skin.

"You're gonna want to hold onto something," Dean added.

Cas silently reached up to grab a handful of Dean's sleeve, of the arm that wasn't about to sew up his flesh. That hadn't been exactly what Dean had meant, but it would work.

As Dean went in with the needle the first time Cas gasped, body jerking in surprise from the pain. Dean pressed into Cas's shoulder to keep him steady as he put in the first stitch. When he started the second, Cas kept still, but hissed through his teeth, eyes squeezing shut.

"You're doing good Cas," Dean mumbled, going in for a third stitch.

"Stop," Cas whispered, "Stop, please."

"Alright, alright, let me just finish this one," Dean said, pulling the needle through. "It would hurt a lot more if I left it in trust me," he said, knotting it off.

"Fuck that hurts," Cas swore, something he normally didn't do, despite how much time he spent with Dean.

"Yeah, I know. We're about halfway done though," Dean said.

Cas nodded, taking a deep breath and wiping the sweat off of his face with his uninjured arm. Then he nodded at Dean, "I'm ready," he said.

Dean nodded, resuming his previous position. Cas latched onto his arm again as he began the next stitch.

It ended up taking 7 stitches in total. By the time Dean was finished Cas had tears streaming down his face, but he'd managed to power through the last 4 without stopping.

"That's it, Cas. Hard part's done. You did good," Dean told him. He dropped the needle and sutures down onto the table and picked up a damp rag.

"I'm just gonna clean it up now, alright? It'll hurt a little but it should be nothing compared to what you just did," Dean explained. Cas nodded, reaching up to wipe the tears off of his face. Dean could see his hand shaking and gave Cas's knee a squeeze of support before he got to work cleaning the blood and grime from around the wound. When he was finished, he carefully wrapped it in gauze and taped it in place.

"All done," Dean said, sitting back.

"Thank you," Cas said, voice shaking slightly.

"Why don't you go lay down for a while Cas. You're not gonna pass out are you?" Dean asked, noticing how pale Cas was.

"No, I'm okay," Cas shook his head. But Dean still watched him carefully as he stood up, walking slowly out of the dining room and turning down the hall toward the bedrooms.

"How come you've never stitched me up like that?" Sam asked. Dean jumped, he'd forgotten Sam was there. "You don't let me take breaks," Sam added, smirking at his brother.

"Shut up," Dean said, rolling his eyes, but he looked away as he felt his face flush.

Sam laughed, enjoying watching his brother squirm for once.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

I want destiel with 13 or 22 (the prompts you reblogged)

Take it easy, with me please, touch me gently, like a summer evening breeze

"You know what this mix is called, Cas?" Dean murmers, pressing his forehead to the side of Castiel's and changing their sway to match the new rhythm.

They've been dancing alone in the kitchen, slow and close, for something like half an hour, and these are the first words either of them have spoken since Dean pulled Cas in. On one side their hands are tangled loosely together, and on the other their arms cross over at their waists, keeping them both pressed together, chest to chest.

"No," Cas says, playing along. They both knew the tape had already been in the stereo when Dean had reached out and pressed play. It wasn't one Cas recognised; all slow, a lot of crooning women.

"It's called, 'For Cas, if we win'. I made it while you were gone." Dean's breath warms the tip of Cas’s ear, and his meaning warms him everywhere else.

"Was there an 'if we lose'?"

Dean shifts his head back to look Cas in the eye. "No. I was never going to happen."

Andante, andante, just let the feeling grow.

Enchanted by the devotion in Dean's eyes, he's caught of guard by his sudden, amused smile. He understands when Dean sings along, sotto voce, "Touch my soul, you know how. Forgot that was coming."

"You've touched mine, now," Cas reminds him, "Or, the closest thing I have to one."

That's how he'd gotten out of the Empty, Dean cradling his Grace to his chest and then fighting his way back through miles of black, sucking sludge, beset by angels, demons and the Empty's own power as he went. The place had been a lot more active since the last time Cas had been stuck there, but no less bleak. There had only been a chance for Dean to finally choke out an, "I love you too, you fucking idiot," when they'd collapsed back out through the portal before he'd fallen asleep for 15 hours straight.

"Your hands were very gentle," Cas notes, and he can feel Dean's face heat as he moves them cheek to cheek, an endearing and unsuccessful attempt to hide his blush. "I felt very secure."

"I didn't want to drop you," Dean admits at a mumble, then complains, "You were freaking slippery, man."

"My apologies," Cas teases, and Dean knocks him with his hip in playful retaliation. "If it helps, you fought me all the way from Hell to your gravesite."

"Sounds like me," Dean says, with a prideful grin that Cas can hear in his voice.

I'm your music. I'm your song.

"Yes. Had I known then how you would change me, I might have held you even tigher."

"Or you might have let go, save yourself the trouble," Dean quips, but there's a fragility to it that has Cas stop the dance and take Dean's cheek in his palm, guiding him to look at him.

Play me time and time again, and make me strong.

"I wouldn't trade the life that we have built for anything. All the time that I have loved you has been-" Cas can't help the tears starting to catch at his voice - "Has been the best of my existence."

Dean's welling up along with him. Perhaps they will both cry every time he tells Dean he loves him. A very small price to pay, in comparison.

"Cas," Dean says in a rasp, and knocks their foreheads together gently. Two teardrops fall from Dean's eyes to Cas’s cheeks with the movement.

Andante, andante, tread lightly on my ground.

No matter who moved in for the kiss, they both lean into it, careful and soft and everything they haven't managed to be with each other until this point. The passion shared between them is palpable, even as the kiss remains relatively chaste. There's no finish line to run to, anymore. No Apocalypse to beat. They have the time to dance together, just as slowly as they please.

Andante, andante, oh please don't let me down.

[sillylilbrainrot]

i feel like i see so much genuine hopelessness from the fandom surrounding nandermo.

& i totally understand that because it’s been 5 seasons with no outright confessions or big conversations , but i can’t help but feel like we really do need to trust the writers & see it through to the end?

yes every time a new interview comes out it makes everything that much more confusing but also…if they came right out & told us exactly what was going to happen that would be incredibly disappointing?

idk maybe it’s because i remember being deep in the destiel trenches back in the day & having literally nothing but subtext to go on, but wwdits feels more intentional than that. the trifecta of shows back then was literally all subtext with the tiniest glimmer of hope — that never, ever paid off.

when you rewatch wwdits with your nandermo goggles on, you see so many things that the writers & directors are specifically peppering in that lead us to take a closer look at nandor & guillermo’s relationship dynamic. it’s in every single season, but most prominently in s3 & onward. i remember feeling so disappointed with s4 but now, rewatching, there are so many things that feel intentional that went over my head in the moment.

i still feel hopeful (beyond just delusion) because i think that the interviews are meant to not give too much away so that the actual payoff in the show is that much more satisfying.

maybe at the end of this season i’ll look back on this & be totally wrong but for now, i’m choosing to remain hopeful for this silly little vampire show

[xxxdestieltrutherxxx]

YOU GUYS WONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME

something INSANE just happened. ok, so, I was on the bus watching @strange-aeons video on the croaker when a girl with long dark ebony hair with purple streaks and red tips sat beside me. she was SO CUTE AND GOTH!!!!! so, she glances at my phone and says "omg. is that father strange??" I WAS SCREAMING. SHE KNEW A STRANGE AEONS AND SHE WAS LIKE SO PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. So naturally I said yes, this is strange's video on the croaker and complimented her goth outfit. We literally spent like 17 minutes talking ab the croaker when a group of em*s got in the bus. The perfect girl that sat beside me (lets call her S) was like ughhhh I hate em*s. which SAME they're literally posers that don't even dress well but ok. anyway, so the em*s got in front of us and started talking among themselves like the squirmy little rats they are, and then the leader (let's call him dumble door) said "you goths are posers. get out of the way" and S said "Ummm we're literally just minding our business. please be respectful." by now most of the bus was watching us, but they were watching more at us than the em*s. they said "this is a em*s zone, you can't be here. goths are posers because they don't live the em* lifestyle, you're just a phase and nothing more" I was furious. so, I said "well actually the bus is public transport, and public means that any person of the populous can use it. so clearly you don't know what public means and are just using your harmful em* rhetoric to harm goths. also, we goths have a very extensive culture and historical background, which you clearly dont know. if your so keen on ignorance then you should get out on the next stop (the next stop was next to a school)" the bus WENT WILD, even the old lady (there was an old lady) was cheering us on. Then one of the emos started crying and got out of the bus while it was moving. I guess we made our point VERY clear. The other emos just moved away to some seats far from us. anyway, a few minutes later me and S got out of the bus and decided to head towards my home to marathon strange's vids. but when we arrived at my house, S said "so... there's something I haven't told you...." then she TOOK OF HER WIG. turns out S, wasn't S at all. She was actually. Strange Aeons. Her hair was also more ebony than the wig. It was also her birthday so I made a cake with blood (we're goth) and celebrated the rest of the day by watching destiel edits (I'm a heller). Yeah, I guess I can say I had a crazy day.

[studiogrimm810]

Speak of the Devil

>Caged // Part 5

pairings: (established) sam winchester x gn!reader, destiel is there :D

summary: you are taken by lucifer for over a week and sam damn near looses his head. when you are finally rescued, the trauma of what was inflicted on you has left it's mark and it's up to sam and dean to keep you put together. after reaching out to rowena, all you can do is wait. and all sam can do is hope he can distract you well enough

warnings: torture, ptsd, flashbacks, hallucinations, graphic depictions of said torture, suggested SA

word count: 3,431

A/N: this part has suffered multiple rewrites and edits. you must like this one, this is a threat/j also! if you’d like to be tagged in this series or my one shots, just lmk!! ^.^

read other parts here

———————

Soggy biscuits absorbed with rich, homemade gravy fill up your vision as it is what you’ve been staring at for you’d say felt like the last hour. Sam would say it’s only been 10 minutes. The overwhelmingly intoxicating smell of fresh breakfast made your body beg you for more food, but you could hardly stomach the half of a biscuit you managed to force down in the first place. So now you have just been crushing the other half of the biscuit and mixing it into the gravy, creating almost a paste at this point.

The men around you conversed lightly amongst themselves and you appreciated their commitment to making this moment feel as normal as possible, but your back radiated with itchy heat that screamed you were being perceived.

The red dots still have not left the microwave but you hadn’t really moved much either. After Dean finished making breakfast with the not-so-helpful hand of his beloved clumsy angel, he plated up a generous portion for his baby brother, his loving partner, and a smaller portion for his troubled friend. You smiled and uttered a quiet ‘thanks’ while taking the plate and setting it in front of yourself.

Since then, you’ve really just been picking at your food, and you can feel Sam’s eyes on you but the heat that flashes up your back isn't a result of his presence. No, it was a much more sinister glare, a wicked perception.

“No, it was too much flour,” Dean rolled his eyes at Cas’ previous statement that you didn’t pay attention to.

“But you told me too much heat is what can ruin a good sauce,” Cas tilts his head with the statement.

“Yeah, but so can clumpin’ it up with too much damn flour,” Dean sets down his fork and turns to him as he emphasizes his repeated words.

“Well this time it was perfect, thanks guys,” Sam interrupts with a light chuckle. Dean and Cas must’ve been arguing about the first time Cas tried to help with breakfast, the gravy came out way too thick and still, to this day, the two argue about what really caused the mess up and who’s fault it ultimately was.

You remember this argument well. It started with Cas genuinely not understanding what went wrong in Deans step-by-step instructions of making gravy. When the gravy came out a thick and clumpy mess, Cas deemed it Dean's fault for not mentioning what heat to keep it at and Dean insisted that heat had nothing to do with it but that Cas misread the measurements. A small smile lifts your lips against your own will as you remember how confused Cas was at Dean’s irrational frustration. They weren’t mean to each other, they were both just too stubborn and so set in their own stories that it prompted bickering all this time later. You actually found it quite sweet that this is what their arguments consisted of.

“My brother and his shitty cooking skills.”

You tensed, looking up to see the red dots were gone. You refused to look behind you, where the bored voice came from. You know who it is. You just want him to go away.

“Doesn’t Dean know that angels can’t technically ‘enjoy’ food?” You can hear his voice twisting with his scrunched face. The facial expressions of The Devil are probably the most unsettling thing about his appearance. The contortions of his face never gave way to match what he’s actually thinking but only what he’s saying at the moment.

You ignore him but set down your fork, settling your hands in your lap. You hope that if you can just ignore him long enough that he’ll go away. But what has hope ever really gotten you?

“Someone needs some more time in the kitchen though,” Dean mumbled, half joking. Cas just rolls eyes.

Sam shakes his head with a scoffed laugh and takes a sip of coffee. As he sets it back down, he turns to look over at you, “are you finished?” He asks as if it’s not obvious that you are. You just nod and Sam stands up and gently grabs yours and his plates to take to the sink.

“Thanks guys, food was good,” you give Dean and Cas a half smile of appreciation and they both return the act.

“So when is Rowena going to get here?” Dean asks, wiping off his hands and pushing aside his plate.

“She said she has some business to finish up in Georgia but that she’ll come here right after,” Sam sets the dishes down after properly rinsing off his minimal crumbs and your paste mixture, which oddly enough resembles Cas’ messed up gravy. “She said it would be tomorrow at the latest,” Sam turns to face the group, drying his hands on the dedicated towel hung from the dishwasher.

“Rowena,” Lucifer says in a voice with a sultry emphasis, a smirk painting his lips, “what a treat.”

“Thinking we just take it easy,” Sam looks at you which leads the other two to do the same, your face burning from the intense spotlight. But you only focus on Sam and nod.

“Speakin’ of,” Dean clears his throat, looking at you a bit warrily, “any signs of him?”

You sigh, knowing you have to tell him the truth, but when you look behind you, you see that Lucifer is gone and so is the suffocating air that comes with his presence.

You don’t respond and Dean says something else but you still look around the room for him. So distracted that you don’t even realize that Sam has maneuvered around the counter and back in front of you again.

“Can you hear me?” Sam’s voice pulls your head out of whatever cloud Lucifer left it in and as you sit up you can hear the blood rushing back through your body from a need to escape your awful posture from the last little while. All three of them are watching you. Not four, three, you remind yourself.

Sam’s eyes aren’t panicked or scared but observant with worry and almost guilt. His hand is placed over yours and you can tell that he’s unsettled by this whole ordeal but if he’s experiencing anything beyond inconvenience then he’s doing a hell of a job at hiding it.

Dean is not the same, his eyes are hardened into solid anger that he shoves his fear behind. He looks ready to rip out Lucifer’s lungs and his eyes glaze over the room even though he knows he won’t be able to see anything himself. And another thing- pity is what it was. Dean's eyes are angry but the underlying muscles in his face melt with pity.

And Cas, god, Cas. He’s smiling and it’s not creepy, no, it’s comforting and warm. Simple and a stark reminder that it’s going to be okay. Cas knows that you aren’t okay but he knows you're safe and that’s exactly what his smile reminds you. It’s a smile of acceptance that yes, you’re struggling, but you’re also here in the bunker with your family.

You drag your eyes back over to Sam where he’s still waiting for a response. He assumed you could hear him now, but he gives you a moment to catch up with yourself.

“Yeah,” you utter, looking back down at your hands, “sorry, I think he’s gone now,” you shake off, still a little unsettled at how he just vanished.

“We can use the sigil just in case,” Sam offers but you shake your head.

“No, it’s okay,” you try to assure, hoping to sound more confident in your claim, “he’s really gone, I don’t know why, but he is.”

“Okay, good,” Sam smiles warmly, but you can still see the unease in his eyes. “How about we go watch a movie? Just relax?” Sam offers, hoping to find a way to distract you for a while before Rowena can’t get here.

You nod and Sam leads you back to your shared room after waving off Dean and Cas’ cautiously questioning eyes.

Sam leads you to the bed while he sets up his movie. He stole a few extra cushions from a hall closet to make the bed more ‘couch-like’ as he puts it. He’s currently working finding the perfect spot to place the laptop so your neck doesn’t strain and you can’t help the smile that his excessive thoughtfulness provokes.

Once everything is situated, Sam starts a movie that you made him pick because you didn’t want to deal with the overwhelming amount of choices spread across the streaming services subscribed to in your family unit. He then slides in next to you and pulls you close to him.

Sam really needs this, after the nights of sleeping in an empty bed and wondering if you were even alive, he needs this moment to be as cheesy and wholesome as he could. He thought if he could get Dean to make fun of the sweetness of it then just maybe would Sam have reached cheesy enough.

He can’t help as his hand idly rubs the more comfortable parts of you back, and he’s extra careful as to not let his gauze get too jumbled, making sure to just use his fingers.

This is nice, this really is what you both needed. There were no physical wounds to care for upon your return and in turn, no reminder of just how fresh it all is for you. But this here? Pressed so close into Sam that you wonder how long it will take to become one. It’s the closest thing to stitches and isopropyl you’ll get.

So you enjoy it and you take it for granted. And you ignore the tension that flexes your muscles when Sam gets too close to your neck. And you force the memories that some scenes in this completely innocent movie reminds you of. And you soak up all of the affection that you’ve been missing out on for too damn long.

The low rumble in Sam’s chest when he laughs at a particularly funny scene feels like home and the way he settles back around you after the scene is over feels like security.

The crook of his neck you’ve nestled into and the radiance of his comforting body heat is enough to pull you right into an irresistible sleep.

———

Harsh strikes of lightning, that’s new. He’s never ventured outside of the musky cellar he’s kept you in, why bring you outside now?

Cold iron bars fence the perimeter of a cramped cage suspended in what looks like a storm cloud. This is all new, almost incomprehensible, why show you this? What is this?

Screams, gut wrenching, blood curdling screams erupt from the too-small cage and you instantly recognize them as Sam’s. The rattle of his voice was so distinct, but it wasn’t his angry scream of pain. No, it was almost a whimper, an exhausted string of pure disparity.

Lucifer’s own shouts of mocks and profanity litter the free space of sound not already occupied by sharp lightning or pathetic screams.

You don’t have any control over your perception of the scene before you and you feel like you're on a rollercoaster as you're zoomed all the way in and past the bars of the cage.

Fuck.

Is that Sam?

His hair is a matted and sticky mess of blood, making it look like dye, and syrupy strands fall in front of his face, leaving only his gaping mouth visible. He’s completely bare, his skin exposed, scarred and stained. He’s weak and thin, eerily thin.

His hands are strung on hooks, like if Jesus was crucified through his wrists, and you see that the scruff of his neck is pulled back by a third hook. Just like Lucifer did to you.

Where the fuck is your earthly body? Because you need to vomit all 2 ounces of breakfast that hasn’t really settled in your stomach anyways.

You try to look around or to move or, fuck, just close your eyes, but you can’t.

A set of giggles would make a chill run up your back if you had yours right now.

“Our time really did get cut short, doll,” Lucifer coos, his voice an echo in this weird dimension and not coming from any corner in particular.

You can’t speak because you don’t have a mouth.

“Just imagine the fun I could’ve had,” Lucifer hums, his voice still distant but you can hear the movements of his mouth. It’s disgusting.

Sam’s back arches forward with a sharp gasp strangling his throat as a bloody hand punches through his chest. Crunching bones and soppy skin ripping through your own non-existent ears. A shimmering heart, coated in blood, is gripped in a tight hold of the arm that ripped out of Sam’s rib cage. The arm is yanked back out and out comes The Devil himself, a livid scowl on his lips as he squeezes the life out of Sam’s heart and splatters it on the iron floors.

“Think of what I could’ve done to you,” he sneers, “that body, those screams, your heart,” he spits, mouth practically foaming with rage. The drips of blood on the tips of his fingers land on the ground with sharp snaps, leading a trail and you now realize he’s walking closer to you.

You.

Actually you, fuck. Your body is back and The Devil is grinning ear to ear.

“Let’s find out,” he purrs, lifting his blood soaked hand and running it along your jaw, leaving a sticky path of pungent blood, only amplifying the rotting iron stench in this cage.

And with your body returns your fear, and your nausea, and your chills.

Lucifer grips your throat with his bloody hand, lifting you off your feet and you’ve realized Sam’s body is gone. He keeps his grip sturdy on your throat and even though you can’t breathe, you aren’t feeling faint. He’s preventing you from passing out.

Lucifer drags you over to the hooks where Sam was and he pinches the back of your neck to string you up like a carcass.

His hand traces from your neck and down to your shoulder, shoving hard. He shakes your shoulders and his face melts with annoyance when suddenly you’re ripped off the hook like a blown piercing and you’re-.

“Wake up, you’re okay,” Sam’s voice floats on you like a stern warning, like he’s unsure his words will actually mean something. The urgency in his voice is something you don’t miss.

Your eyes shoot open and you swallow a gulp of air, clawing at your throat to make sure his hands are gone. And you feel your face to make sure the blood is gone too. Sam’s hands are clasped on your shoulders like he had to shake you awake. Oh. You look up at him with quick breaths and a panicked expression, letting what the fuck you just saw catch up to you.

“It was just a dream, you’re okay,” Sam loosens his hold on your shoulders and you slump down into the bed a bit. You can’t find yourself too look at him, the image of cage-him being so vulnerable in a way you’ve never seen before burns the backs of your eyelids.

Sam was your person, the man you love and have chosen to spend your life with. And yes, you’ve seen him in many different ways, you’ve seen him more than anyone else has- well at least you thought.

“Hey,” he coos. God, it’s sweet and loving, but it’s in the same way Lucifer just mocked you. Sam gently grabs your jaw, kind and soft, but fuck Lucifer just did the same with Sam’s blood leaving it’s stain. You flinch away, pressing into the headboard and groaning. You feel absolutely sick. “Okay, okay,” he speeds out, not expecting the reaction but adjusting quickly. “Do you want some water?”

You ignore him, bolting from your spot and dashing into the bathroom. Slamming the door behind you, you fall to your knees and involuntarily rid your body of nutrients it desperately needs. There’s rustling around you but you don’t waste time placing it.

What did Lucifer do to Sam? He never talked about it beyond a simple explanation of he was dead for a few months and suffered hallucinations after getting his soul back. Sam was never openly prepared to share his past with you, but when he did he was honest and delicate. It’s just that… this was never something you even expected for him to share. And the implications that came with what Lucifer said. It makes you lurch again, this time spewing nothing but splatters of stomach acid that burns your throat.

“Let it out, honey,” Sam sets a glass down on the ceramic counter of the bathroom and he sinks down to your level with some paper towels.

You take your time, arms wrapped around the toilet bowl. You reach for the glass, rinsing out your mouth and flushing the water away. Settling into the wall next to the toilet, you still don’t look at Sam’s face.

“Feel any better?” Sam asks, dipping down his gaze to hopefully pull yours to him. It doesn’t work.

“Uh,” you clear your throat, settling your elbows on your knees, “No, not really.”

“What happened?” He asks carefully, honestly a little afraid of what you might say.

You swallow the tickle of nausea and flick your eyes daringly to Sam’s, the image of dark red mats of hair sticking to his cheeks. You force your eyes closed and take a steady breath.

“He was there,” you settle on saying, your words surprisingly still as you spoke them.

“In your dream?” Sam inquires, confusion bending his brows.

“Yeah.”

“Was it him him or a memory?” Sam asks, already finding a prime spot to paint a sigil if need be.

Oh, it was a memory alright, just not yours. “It was him,” you nod, eyes unfocused. You grab your wrists, rubbing them to remind yourself that cool iron no longer latches onto your skin but only your own grasp. “He’s gone now, I- I don’t see him.” You decide to keep seeing Sam like that to yourself.

“I hate this,” you admit with a scoff, landing your head into the wall behind you with more force than you meant to but you ignore the wave of pain.

“I know, honey,” Sam says solemnly, wishing he could do more for you, “once Rowena gets here, we’ll have more answers. More solutions.”

But with waiting comes uncertainties and fears of what if she can’t help at all?

“We’ll fix this, I’ll fix this,” Sam promises, holding your hands firmly. You open your eyes, finally looking over at Sam who has no doubt in his mind that you will be okay.

With some subtle coaxing, Sam finally gets you off of the cold floor and brings you back to the bed. You don’t feel safe sleeping and Sam can understand this, and without The Devil present, a sigil won’t work on kicking him in a corner for a few hours. So for now, Sam sits with you and pulls out a deck of cards.

“Blackjack,” Sam straightens his posture and you get an assaulting flash of the spread of his arms past their resilience, latched on hooks. You advert your gaze to the cards instead. He settles the blankets into a makeshift table and deals, “go.”

You chuckle a small laugh which spreads to Sam’s lips as you peek at the hidden card, “uh, hit me,” you shrug. He flips a card and you add it up to 17. “Hit me,” Sam flips down another card and you hiss.

A small smirk and he takes the cards away, starting a new round.

Round after round, wins and loses, flashes and waves of nausea. But you power through for Sam. You hold yourself as tightly wound as you could and you forced yourself to shove away the weeks of torture so that you can have just now.

You keep your senses keen for Lucifer’s return, not wanting to let your guard down for even a second because the bastard really stepped up his game by showing you Sam like that against his will.

Maybe it’s somewhat of a good thing, though, because now you feel nothing but pure hatred. And as you do the simple math of the ‘distracting’ game supplied by your love, you think of every way possible to make Lucifer fucking pay.

———————

thanks so much for reading!! <3

>pictures are not my own, i have the originals linked here (pinterest) >>check out my other works here

>tags: @internallysalad @checkedoutghost

[rosemariad]

were you dissatisfied with spn's ending?

ever think Sam and Dean’s story should've ended differently?

I whipped up a little something. all these ideas started flowing in my head when I reached season 8. So I went for it and started writing my take on SPN. Since the concept of multiple universes was thrown out there in the show, I started to play with that a little more, and I've wound up writing a whole canon-divergent (1 of my top 2 fav kinds of fic) series going through most of the events of SPN up to the bitter end.

The perfect diverging point (for me anyway): the end of episode 4x21, after Sam and Dean fight and Sam walks out of that room.

Interested? Buckle up:

series teaser: Sam & Dean are no strangers to violence - far from it. What they don't seem to realize yet is they're locked in a cycle, but not one of their own making. Their only hope - someone no one could have ever foreseen who dramatically changes their lives forever by first causing the return of someone Sam thought he'd never see again.

Part 1 of my series SPN: Roads Untaken - Book 1 - What Show You Been Watching?

read here on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61122787/chapters/156174859

covering the era between 4x21 and the season 5 finale swan song, but since it's Canon divergent, not everything is exactly the same as you'd remember.

Destiel fans - be forewarned, it's not explicit yet, but i am DEFINITELY working up to their pairing up, by not just revisiting classic Destiel moments, but thanks to this fanfic, some new ones too 😀

why did i add Jessica? well... I did say it was a canon divergent series 😁

[yourlilkaiju]

Here is the Reason Why I Am Not A Destiel Fan Anymore:

And the reasons I refuse to go back to being one:

So in retrospect, the SuperWhoLock fandom has been by and large a pretty big fandom that has been running a good while. I don't think it's stopped. I have always loved Doctor Who, as that- alongside the works of Mr.Henson and the brilliant creations from his creature shop, were my first introductions to all things weird and other worldly. Horror was another story. I will be more than happy to talk about that another day. So as time went on, in abouts the late summer/early fall of 2005, right before I turned 13, I was introduced to Supernatural. Starring Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles. The person I was watching it with was bouncing up and down, all excited because "Oh my gosh, it's so nice to see you watching something other than anime." (The cow.), and because it was nearing Halloween time and it was both of our favorite time of year for two very different reasons. This would end up being the start of my enjoyment of a long running series that had a good premise, but a very confusing story line after season five. (Sorry but it felt...skewed after that point. But I stayed loyal.) In any case, I eventually started shipping Destiel because of the constant queer baiting. Which didn't exactly, idk help the situation? And with that I ended up being a shipper for a good seven and a half, I repeat, SEVEN AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS. Hardly anyone sticks with a shop that long. (But being autistic you kind of stick with a lot of things for a long ass time. *Mumbles something about a certain one winged angel from the nineties*.)

My enjoyment of the ship came to a close when I was at a fantasy convention the spring of 2016. I was at one of the Double tree locations with an ex of mine and dressed up as a fae queen, laughing, having a good time and just having good conversations with the people at our table. I was with a troupe that my ex and I had started and we were initially responsible for acting out as "hosts" for the opening and closing for these events, and even "opening the portals to the realms" 🙄. When out of character we were still expected to be gracious hosts....well, more like I was. The man could get away with spilling a punch bowl over his head while mooning an entire audience, yet still somehow do no wrong. If I complained, or made a peep in my defense, the whole world would come crashing down. Even with some of the people we spent time with. And some of the people we spent time with were Destiel shippers who liked to bring strangers into our space without asking, or without any given warning or invitation. At that time, it'd been Supernatural fans who were not only Destiel shippers....but also Cockles fans.

[I am going to pause for a moment here because I feel the need to emphasize that shipping is fine. Shipping is a great way to escape reality for a period of time and even let loose the pent up need for some sort of intimacy in ones life, regardless of the type that is needed. But to allow it to interfere with reality, to force real people into seeing each other and actually make it so that it can't be left alone for years after? That's where there is an issue. And people who can't see that need to re-evaluate themselves and get some fucking help.]

There were few things that my ex and I agreed on, and one of them had been that uninvited guests had been a nono. However, the rules at play prevented me from saying anything while in costume. He had to dismiss the person. He had to tell them it was time to go and that "appreciated the travellers journey, however it was time for the court to take it's respite." . And yet he didn't. So as these people went on, our troupe laughed and carried on with the conversation. I did my best to segue into a different topic, and tried my hardest not to show discomfort. Because to do so would be breaking the rules. The uninvited guests went on....and on...and on. They ignored my attempts and ignored the fact that I had requested two glasses of wine and a white Russian. They carried on about how Destiel was technically canon, and how Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins were secretly dating behind the scenes. I looked for any reason I could to get the hell out of dodge. And I found my salvation when I found a friend of mine standing over by the bar.

"Pardon me, my dear..." I said, with a soft lilt in my voice. "As compelling as this conversation has been, I find that I have urgent business with a friend of the forest." As bewildered as my poor guest was, I immediately left before they could say anything more. I hated the conversation. I hated feeling trapped. It felt draining and honestly, going to my friend was the best decision I felt that I could make. And when I got to him, he mentioned that I looked like I needed help. And for a man like my ex to not say anything, he was a little disappointed.

Over the next few years, I ran into several more of these shippers at events that I'd helped run. I insisted that the rules be changed, and while he did not like it, he knew that I would not back down on the issue. The same people tried joining our gathering by one of our troupe members behest, and without warning. Upon recognizing me, they grew excited and hoped to continue the conversation from the last time they'd seen me.

"Why don't we talk about something else?" I groaned. I recalled the unpleasant experience I had with them last time as they hardly allowed a word in edgewise.

There was a long pause.

As if summoning a great storm, I was suddenly accused of being homophobic and told that I only played a queen because I whined and sobbed my way into it. And I stood there, allowing the insults to continue until they couldn't anymore. I figured it was just best to let them kick dirt at a statue and smile at them exhausting themselves.

I'm sure some of you may think me a horrible person fo this. I am sure some of you are thinking "why are you telling us this? There's no point."

Because some of you need to know the extent of how some fandoms and their shippers behave.

Back then Destiel and Cockles were as bad as LDS's. Now...well they're still just as bad. But twice as aggressive. And while I was one, I don't think I ever went that far. I would often ask things like "Aren't those two married?" When it came to the Cockles fans. Or say "I'm from way south Alabama and experienced ISA, please stop." To the Wincest shippers. Every single time I would say something like this, some would try to come directly for my throat. Literally. Hell, someone grabbed me by the hair once. All because I dared to disagree.

It's a fucking series.

With fictional characters.

Played by actors.

And all the special effects are done by the crew.

But some people can't seem to grasp that.

I refuse to entangle myself back in that sticky little web and I would rather watch it burn itself out. I would prefer to see it go up in flames as it gets rejected by the fandoms it tries to infect, JUST because it is politely disagreed with.

Because it doesn't leave people alone after being told no or receiving the sense that, maybe, a person is uncomfortable.