#and my eye do sting
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Not the greatest idea to post this on the same day as my accidentally trans post, but I’ve tried out make up (albeit slightly against my will) for the first time! Thoughts: 1. Ow my eyes 2. It refuses to leave my face expect when I don’t want it to rub off on everything. 3. Oh god it won’t leave my face. 4. I look a little pretty ig???
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i just finished fellow travelers and i need someone to pay for my therapy thanks
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The first and only time Ockham and Elias met it took all of five minutes for the encounter to devolve into violence. They were both forcibly escorted from The Medusa's Head.
#my art#ockham#rest assured they both had an absolutely terrible evening recuperating#my eyes are stinging i spent way too much time staring at the colour yellow#do not paint your entire canvas yellow#it is simply not worth it#Roberts/Nite#ockham ref#roberts
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Babe what’s the sunscreen? 👀
beauty of joseon! it's very viral rn but it was on sale so i grabbed it and to me it lives up to the hype so far!
#🪴.ask#anon#i was using missha's sun milk which was also good but it was scented#and i couldn't tell if it was making my eyes sting a lil bit or if it was being in the sun#(i'm relatively light sensitive)#i do want to try the torriden sunscreen too tho
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my classmates will go thru 6 hours of class the day after a long excursion through the countryside and then just get up and go run around in town for hours going to movies and shopping and whatever and I'm just sitting here like Aren't you all exhausted . Aren't you all sore and pained. Where are you getting this energy. Can we calm down
#if nothing else this trip has really opened my eyes to how much chronic pain/fatigue does impact my life compared to others#i dunno I guess I just never really noticed. but I just don't have the energy other people do. Not even close. Not even a little bit#I go through a day of class and relish in the thought of spending the rest of my day resting because the agony in my legs#and the unbearable tiredness I feel just beckons me to collapse into bed#but everyone else is just so . energized. and ready to explore. and wanting to run all over the place and do 1 million things all the time#and this is normal? this is how normal people are? Because I'm the only one out of my entire class who seems to be the opposite#everyone just has so much energy. and I Do Not have that energy. I had to stand for most of the past three hours and it's taken me out#for the day i'll be honest. but everyone else just seems so undaunted#and it sucks because i'd love to hang out with these people and join them and whatever but when I do force myself along i'm just so tired#and so pained that all my responses are either dry or i don't say anything at all. i'm just completely out of spoons but I hang on because#i Hate the feeling of being left behind#oh well. eye-opening experience I guess#vent#<- it became that so yeah I'm tagging it#clamtalk#and also? my bee sting? IT ITCHES. Who was going to tell me it'd do that. What the Fuck Man
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I really need a new friend tbh
It's not that I don't like my friends rn, but they just never answer me
The irl ones too. Like I text them but they never answer. I text my bff (I honestly don't don't know if I can call her that anymore) and she never answers, not a day later not a week later not a month later not a year later. Never. She wasn't like this before, and she's not that busy at all, so obviously it means she must be doing it on purpose for whatever reason she has.
You never asked nor did anyone else, but the reason I text so much is because I need to distract myself from the present.
But when no one, absolutely none out of all the 9-10 or so close friends I have answer, it leaves me pondering. My thoughts inevitably wonder, and I find myself drowning in them. I don't like that. I don't like thinking. I don't like pondering. I don't like being silent. But I have no choice.
I finish my work, my studies, my homework, my chores, and everything else, but realizing I have no one at all leaves me wondering, pondering and wandering endlessly, infinitely.
And, just as expected, the conclusion my mind comes to is that 'no one likes me' hence 'the reason why they never answer is because they do not appreciate you, nothing about you is good or particularly pleasing, which means you are not worth their time.' And eventually leads to me distancing myself and ghosting them just 'like they did to me'.
Therefore, I stay silent. As much as I hate to, I keep silent and my gaze stays downcast. I don't listen to anyone or anything, I don't answer any question or message, I don't talk, I don't smile, I don't laugh, I don't joke around, I don't draw, I don't write. Nothing. At that state of mine I am only vast nothingness, completely empty and devoid of any emotion whatsoever.
If you knew me, you'd also know that when I am 'sad' (silent), everyone else around me is sad as well.
I do not need to focus to notice how my ears are ringing and no one needs to put me under a microscope to know that silence is my way of weeping.
#yourfavepookiebear#pookiebear rants#pookie talks#vent#pookie's issues#why did i kinda turn it into poetry#whatever#sorry pookies#when i get sad i write like a melodramatic book-writer#pookie bear#pookie's weeping#poetry ig#poetry#?#tw vent#vent/rant#depression#depressing shit#tw depressing thoughts#im so tired#i just came back from outside#and i cant fucking do this anymore#sorry not sorry#i wanna scream my lungs out and weep so intensely my eyes will sting and my ears will ring
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on the verge of getting soft about sports on main please bear with me
#something in my eye nvm.#see while i do enjoy the occasional champions match or visit a famous stadium bc it's fun. i'm no football connaisseur#but i've been consistently following the nt's progress for almost.. a decade now?#and from the gaping abyss of underperforming and criticism these guys just went to heights that no one expected#the literal lowest rated team in the entire tournament. with the least 'impressive' players. outdid themselves in the best of ways.#and even though it was a stinging loss today everyone is celebrating instead because! we have a Team!! again!!!#frankly i've never experienced this sort of nationwide euphoria before. i need to take it and soak in all of it forever#euro 2024
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every time i remake a character's ref i make the colors slightly less saturated cause my eyes are getting old and weak
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so there are fucking fires several states away from me and there's smoke everywhere.
It's like a weird fog, the sun and moon are way too orange, my hair smells like smoke, the rainwater is fucking black-ish and yesterday IT RAINED ASHES
literally!
#climate fuckery my beloathed#poor poor Brasil what are we doing to you#my friend is coughing for weeks now#and my eyes sting#as if the floods just a couple months ago weren’t enough
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Me before drinking a 99 proof alcohol shooter warm: What could go wrong
Me after taking one-fourth of a sip:
#nattering about nothing#it didn't hurt this much when it was cold#I feel like I have heartburn#my eyes sting so bad#anyway time to do it again bc I Am Not A Quitter
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do you ever feel like someone just removed the plug in the tub of your soul and all the feelings, all the motivation, and all the passion just immediately vanished down the drain?
yeah
#life#not to be emo about this but#the feeling of not belonging and not fitting in is just going to be a constant huh#clinging to the hope that all of this is just my period doing its last violent kicks#to make me feel like absolute shit#it's like no matter how hard i try i just can't keep up with everything#no matter what i do it's just not enough#and that fucking stings ey
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keroro the type of person to get very upset if he's not invited to something
#and literally invite himself like ep21 lol#headcanon#musing#he doesn't just wanna be included he wants to feel like he Belongs. it is a subtle difference from kururu in my opinion#kururu wants to feel like he matters in people's lives! yep! and so he likes to participate and be asked#but he won't be heartbroken or anything if hes left out bc hes used to it and hes low energy so hes gonna be fine#keroro i think feels extremely like he doesn't belong anywhere rn#because earth is just a foreign unknown place. unwelcoming. everything is so big. he's not a human he's not a frog. he's not home#but he just as much doesn't feel like he belong with keron and the platoon because he doesn't really wanna succeed in his goal#not like his teammates' lament of wanting to at all (despite not wanting it either! giroro open ur eyes!)#and so and so... something snth why wont you resonate with me? thank u ep31 the perfect character study on keroro#anyway yes he wants to be included in the sense he wants to feel Part of it not just to hang out but Actually to.#be part of the family. part of the team. be . NEEDED. im saying.#make sense?#i thiiiink that is why the birthday thing stings. that and he wants to be appreciated as well. like praised. know hes doing a good job.#that hes loved . that he is needed. is what he wants to know. and doesn't. :) and when hes reminder he loses all strength#consistently from what ive noticed#kururu#keroro
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I can’t tell if I look my age or if I look like a baby :/
#bc yeah 23 is super young#and i absolutely look older than I did at like 14#but also I don’t???#I look the same but more confident lmao#maybe it’s the slight baby face#idk#saw someone post about eating collagen so she has glass skin at 50#and it’s like?????#babe??????#who did this to you????#you should be at the club!!#not spending countless dollars on pointless skincare products!!!!#screaming raging#sunscreen and moisturizer#that is like the most you need#ugh anyway#if anyone has recommendations for a sunscreen that doesn’t fucking sting my eyes#DESPITE THE FACT that I try not to get it near my eyes at all!!!!!!#I’d super appreciate it#and I swear to god do not recommend me anything over 15 dollars#and do not recommend anything smaller than like six ounces
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I need shows to stop having emotional series finales do you understand how many times I can cry in 25 minutes? Many. Unnecessarily many.
#gamer txt.#my eyes are going to sting thats quite rude#2 out of sadness and 3 out of catharsis so. im still not beating the bleeding heart allegations#do you know how annoying that is sometimes? being hyperempathetic snf simply an emotional bastard?#im double crying youre making me double cry thats rude
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From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.
Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.
#hc; kaeya#//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion#//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be#//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way#//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle#//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand#//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol &#liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her#//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold#before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands#//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves#but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc#//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him#//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that#Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves#//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being#//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection#//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort#//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time#//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away#//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern#//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying?#//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic#//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them#//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms#//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel#//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho#//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok#//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less#//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn
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Scorpion stings are not fun, even the non-lethal ones. I do not recommend.
#personal journey#the sting itself was far more painful than i imagined a tiny little barb on the end of a tiny tail could inflict#but what bothers me now is that...more than 24 hours later...muscle spasms will not chill out#and the muscle spasms are happening all over...not at the injection point.#back. chest. eye brows. arms. lips.#my local urgent care facility did not have antivenom#and all the steroids are doing is making me even more grumpy about the muscle spasms#unfortunately i will live
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