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dalliancekay · 10 months ago

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Aziraphale does NOT need to suffer MORE

Can't believe I have to say this. TW: grief, mourning, death (sorry) I have, since falling into the fandom 6 months ago to escape real life, seen many takes on how Aziraphale needs to (or at least should) suffer in S3 to match Crowley's suffering. As the counterpart to the moment Crowley thinks he lost Aziraphale as he's looking for him desperately in the burning bookshop....

...after this he drinks, we suppose, to dull his pain, waiting for the Armageddon. Or, for the way Crowley suffers at the bandstand argument, the 'I Forgive You' moments, which many people find utterly devastating and incredibly heartless from Aziraphale. Not to mention when he doesn't react in the 'right way' to Crowley's confession in the Final 15. And then on top of that, 'abandons' Crowley. For Heaven. Oh and also for, and I quote: "The smug and entitled way Aziraphale went around in S2 assuming Crowley would love and follow him everywhere." And so for all this pain that Crowley endured for him, Aziraphale should suffer in S3 (to I assume) even out the scores. Or... to deserve Crowley. Some people also want to see him lose it, show his emotions, to cry or beg or otherwise show how much he misses Crowley and how very sorry he is for what he has (so thoughtlessly) done.

Now for the TW grief content I motioned above. You can skip to the next sentence in bold.

I was on holiday late September last year, visiting my mum, stepfather and my two younger brothers. We went to a cousin's wedding. It was great. The day after, as I was hanging out reading a book, my mum got a call. The kind of call every mother fears. My youngest brother (he was 27) died in an accident. We needed to speak to police and the coroner. She cried and cried. She's still crying. She asks questions. She gets no answers. I...did not cry. I talked to the police. I googled a funeral home. I bought my brother his last set of clothes. He lived in a hoodie and torn black jeans. Mum wanted a suit. I texted a lot of people. I bought snacks for the many friends who came to the funeral and wanted to speak to us after. My grief feels like a vice. I am not sad. I do not appear sad. Contrary to what people expect. But I am ANGRY. I am furious. But nobody can see this. I am not fine and I wish no one would ever* ask how I was again. TW/Personal content over. WE ALL SUFFER DIFFERENTLY Since I was small (because I am weird like that) I genuinely wondered if, finding myself in danger, I could scream like people in films do. I don't think I could. I cope with hard situations, fear and stress and anxiety by shutting down, sometimes by retreating as well, and by furiously (but quietly) trying to find a way out. And I think Aziraphale does the same. And that's why I love him so much. And why I feel I get him and understand that people sometimes can't tell how much he's actually feeling. I also express love the way Aziraphale does - by organising things for people, inviting them places, making plans. When Crowley said you call me for three things (and it's basically any old reason) I felt SO SEEN. This is what I would do with a friend who I know is feeling unmoored, sad, stuck (Crowley's 'What's the point of it all' at the beginning of S2). I'd text them with any old thing. I'd never actually say I love you, but I would try to get them to talk, meet me, go somewhere. Aziraphale does not express emotions the same way as Crowley.

But his emotions are valid nonetheless. He is worried for Crowley from around 3 minutes into their acquaintanceship. And he NEVER stops worrying from then on.

And are we quite sure he has never lost Crowley?

How many times did Aziraphale's heart freeze in horror when he realised Hell has taken Crowley and he had no idea if he'll ever come back and what is happening to him?

How did Aziraphale spend the night after vanquishing the demons and starting a war? He had no idea where Crowley was. What happened to him. He was probably sick with worry that Hell just took him away. We didn't see him drink and cry, but surely, the worry must have been overwhelming. The wait for what will happen now.

ALL his worries over the Arrangement. Was he worried for himself? Do we really think that?

Crowley thought he lost Aziraphale in S1, yes, we saw that. And what happened to the angel then?

He got blown into atoms which I bet wasn't pleasant and when he arrives in Heaven he limps. Why is he hurt? And why is he quickly pretending he isn't? Why is he always hiding how he feels? Also, he immediately deserts, wants no part in the Holy War and quickly finds an extremely unconventional way to get back. It's not a grand gesture, he doesn't deliberate, doesn't worry that he will Fall (although surely that must have been what he thought will happen if he survives this), there's no pomp around it, he thinks it and then does it. No hesitation.

Is this coming from an angel who just can't leave Heaven behind and longs to be a part of it? Who loves to follow rules? And let's not forget in those moments Aziraphale thought Crowley was most likely gone. That he probably left for Alpha Centauri. Last he heard from him he was told he was talking to an old friend and had no time for him. Why we NEVER talk about how that might have felt for Aziraphale? About his sadness?

Things are not as simple as Aziraphale has been supressing his emotions and lying to himself about how he feels and he should get over it and become free. That's not how this works. First of all, he was suppressing his emotions OUT OF LOVE. His main goal was always to keep Crowley safe. They simply couldn't run away or hoodwink Heaven and Hell. They had nowhere to go. They had no hope and yet they kept loving each other. That's courage. I know we all grew up with Romeo and Juliet and Heathcliff and Cathy and we FORGOT that those were CAUTIONARY tales. And this is not what Aziraphale wants for them. He would never allow himself to go so fast he would hurt Crowley. He feels guilty enough for agreeing to the Arrangement and for meeting Crowley at all when he knows they can be discovered and punished at any point. And Crowley knows it and RESPECTS it. He does not tolerate Aziraphale's decision to not go on a date and to hell with circumstances. He understands Aziraphale's reasoning and he respects Aziraphale's decision. Don't forget, they have NO POWER. They can't change Heaven and Hell. They can't stop believing in God and work on their religious trauma. Their Heaven and Hell are real places with real power and they both BELONG to them. Aziraphale's trauma and his personality are deeply intertwined and he'd probably never be the kind of person who is open in showing their grief or stress like Crowley does. He will learn to be more open, I'm sure. With his love especially, we see him reaching for and touching his demon in S2. Openly being with him, looking at him without guarding himself. They got a little bit of freedom for themselves despite ALL odds. So. Just because Aziraphale is not crying and screaming and I dunno, tearing his hair out or whatever some people would have him do, does not mean he isn't overflowing with pain, fear, uncertainty, doubts, worries, and so much anxiety that if he let it all out, half of the solar system would turn to ashes.

Aziraphale does not need to suffer in S3 to level out Crowley's suffering. They are, unfortunately, equal in their pain as they are in love. If there is one thing Crowley would never abide, it'd be this take from the fandom. * One more note on grief: (obviously from my personal experience) As initiated by @anthony-crowleys-left-nut in a comment

It's not that I mind to know people care and worry etc, not at all. But asking how I am can only end up in me lying (fine, thank you) and both of us knowing it's not really true and feeling awkward or not lying (I feel like shit, mostly cos I can't sleep and think the world is a stupid, unfair place) and both of us feeling awkward anyway. Does that make sense? I wish I could tell friends/colleagues to ask what I've been up to or something similar instead. What I've been reading (um, AO3, but I'll make something up), watching, do I want to go see some spring flowers bloom (I do). I think...this would probably work not just for someone who is grieving but also for someone who you know is dealing with depression for example or a serious illness etc. Edit 2. It's now almost (in 15 days) a year since my brother died. The random attacks of pain and grief have lessened and I have started to do more of the things I enjoyed before... and I am able to answer how are you questions without feeling like they are trying to mock me (the questions, not the people). So I suppose things do get ... lighter? More diffused? I'm not sure. Because it's still exactly as unfair that my brother has not lived this past year as it will be however many years I will be here without him I expect.

#aziraphale #good omens #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #neil gaiman #ineffable divorce #aziraphale my beloved #good omens thoughts #aziraphale defense squad #suffering in silence #grief #tw grief #dealing with grief #loss #tw death #kaypost

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hwangism143 · 15 days ago

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all i want for christmas

synopsis the three christmas parties minho spent loving you and the one where he finally told you.

pairing non-idol!minho x fem!reader

genre holidays, best friends to lovers, fluff, comfort, 3 + 1 format

warnings mentions of foods, fires, cheating, physical violence (jokingly), swearing, pregnancy ;) , kissing, not proofread

word count 4.3k words

now playing all i want for christmas - mariah carey

a/n wow. so. i'm back. i genuinely missed you guys so much and im so happy to write again. i felt really guilty for just disappearing but this might be my only fic for a while. im sorry if it's bad im genuinely so out of practice.

"i don't need a lot for christmas, there is just one thing i need"

zero.

Love was a dreadful, terrible thing. Minho knew firsthand.

He also knew that love could be beautiful. It existed everywhere.

It existed when Minho would feel a smile break out on his face when he would step through his door to the sound of his cats. He knew it existed in the way Chan always made sure that Seungmin had eaten and Jeongin wasn't too hard on himself. It existed in the way Hyunjin wore his emotional scars with pride and in the way Changbin's face would scrunch up adorably as soon as he saw his girlfriend.

But love must be a horrendous thing if it could someone as deserving of it as you through such excruciating pain.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

year one.

Minho always associated loving you with Christmas. It was mainly for two reasons: because you loved Christmas, and Christmas was when he realized he loved you.

Minho had become your best friend on the first day of college when you stumbled into him while looking for your batchmates after orientation. It was almost fate (despite Minho considering fate to be bullshit), the way he held onto your shoulders to make sure your face didn't hit the floor and you gave him a weak, petrified smile.

"Computer Science major?" he asked, and your quick reply in the positive laid the foundations of your unbreakable friendship.

Minho knew he loved you for a long time. But the realization of it dawned on him during your annual Christmas party when the two of you were in your second year of college.

You were absolutely fanatical about Christmas. Despite Minho's protests about your fascination being sickening, he secretly found it extremely endearing. You had confessed to him once, how your love for Christmas stemmed from the fact that you only saw your father during Christmas due to his demanding job of a military's medic.

That was the day Minho vowed to make sure nobody could ruin your Christmas.

You went all out Christmas decorations at your apartment. Your Christmas tree was huge and adorned with ornaments of various shapes, sizes and colours. Minho came early to help you and your roommate Kyujin with the Christmas baking, considering how last time the two of you tried to bake it took swatting towels and spraying water to get the smoke detector to stop.

But you were most excited to introduce your boyfriend to the rest of your friend group.

Minho wasn't happy about it, but he was happy for you. You loved the idea of romance but for some reason that Minho could not fathom, thought yourself undeserving of receiving the romantic variant of it. But your first boyfriend, whom you'd been seeing for three months, quickly changed that.

You were practically bouncing up and down on your toes as your mutual friends trailed into your tiny apartment.

"Y/N!" Jisung squealed as he barreled into your arms.

"Sungie!" you replied in equal enthusiasm.

Minho's heart melted watching you, his best friend, and Jisung, his roommate, getting along so well. In fact, sometimes he felt third wheeled by his two favorite people who wouldn't have known each other if it wasn't for him.

"Tonight," Jisung declared proudly, "I will serenade Minho with a tear-jerking rendition of 'All I Want For Christmas'."

Jisung stood on top of your couch, arms spread out proudly. He sent Minho a boisterous wink and Minho tried to hide a chuckle while rolling his eyes.

"The only tears shed will be because of Jisung's pathetic voice," grumbled Hyunjin, Jisung's best friend, already dreading the moment when he would have to drag his drunk and sappy ass back home.

Your cheeks turned pink in a poorly contained laugh while Hyunjin just gave you a shrug, only the three of you privy to Hyunjin's comment. Minho saw your face and found his own flushing, quickly blinking to make sure nobody noticed. Jisung shot Minho, you and Hyunjin an accusatory glance, but your little smirk caused him to look away in annoyance.

"I will not date you, Jisung," said Minho in an overly dramatic voice. Jisung pouted and this time, the whole room burst into laughter until Kyujin yelled a string of obscenities at him to get him off the couch.

But throughout the whole debacle, Minho's eyes only belonged to you. He couldn't help but wonder, how would you feel about dating him? These feeling had been brewing for long, even before you started dating Taehyun What's-His-Face. Minho knew he had feeling for you, but today he would realize just how deep they ran.

"You okay? Your cheeks are red man. Like, tomato red," asked the ever vigilant Chan.

"Oh, um, yeah. I'm good," replied Minho nervously, hoping that Chan didn't notice.

"Yep," said Chan, clearly unconvinced, his eyes still narrowed on Minho.

Minho did not get nervous easily. He was calm, stoic, composed. But around you, he was a ticking time bomb. You made Minho feel like a thousand dazzling fireworks had lit up in his stomach. You made him want to be spontaneous, silly and scream from the rooftops that he liked you and wanted to be with you.

You made Minho feel things he had never felt before, and it broke him everyday watching you feel those same things for someone who wasn't him.

Minho's eyes looked for yours, you slipping away sometime when he was contemplating his lost love. He finally found you, leaning against Kyujin bedroom door. Your loose sweater hung off a shoulder and pointer finger of your right hand was caught between your teeth. In your other hand was your phone which lit up when you opened.

God, you looked ethereal.

Until your eyes flickered up and down, you blinked multiple times and your brow creased while your bottom lip quivered. Minho had known you long and intimately enough that something was very, very wrong. Before you even looked up at him, your eyes conveying a silent cry, Minho was striding towards you like a man on a mission.

"Minho," you choked out, and he whisked you into Kyujin's room, giving a concerned Kyujin watching everything a tight nod as he did.

"Minho, Minho, he -" you were sobbing, gasping in wretched breaths that made it feel like a knife was twisting into his heart.

He watched you nearly terrified, rubbing your back soothingly. Minho murmured sweet nothings into your ear to get you to calm down and explain to him what had happened as his on heart raced at nearly a thousand miles per hour.

"What happened sweetheart? Y/N?" Minho asked, his voice laced with worry.

Wordlessly, you handed over your phone to him as you buried your face into his shoulder.

[7:32 PM]

taehyunnie: look y/n, i hate to do this on christmas but

taehyunnie: i have had something come up

taehyunnie: so i won't make it

[7:34 PM]

taehyunnie: quite frankly, we should break up

taehyunnie: i don't think either of us is in the right mental state to date right now.

taehyunnie: sorry.

Minho was seeing red. How could someone do something like this to you? You, who was perfect to the extent where even your imperfections were perfect? Minho was about to ask you what day you would like for him to murder Taehyun when you interrupted him.

"He's not wrong," you said, your voice barely a whisper. "I was so excited to date someone that I probably got to clingy and scared him off."

"That's not true," said Minho shaking your shoulders, "That's not true, anybody would be tripping over their feet to date you."

And as Minho repeated those words to you like a chant, over and over again until you believed them as much as he did, he felt a sinking feeling in his chest. Guilt simmered in his stomach because of the thoughts he was having.

Amidst the winter chill and your broken cries, Lee Minho realized that he was hopelessly and damningly in love with you.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

year two.

The second year Minho spent Christmas with you, things had changed. Minho's hair grew longer, curling at the base of his neck and you forbade him from cutting it. You had let go over your initial heartbreak from the events of the previous Christmas and for some reason, deluded yourself into thinking that you were unlovable.

The only thing that barely changed was Minho's love for you, apart from maybe how it increased in magnitude.

"You should tell her, you know. Or else you'll end up regretting it," remarked Hyunjin wisely.

The ever so observant boy was the only one who knew about Minho felt when it came to you. Even then, he didn't know the uncharted depth of how much Minho loved you. Just that he hopelessly and unequivocally did.

Minho glared at him in response, snatching a brownie from Hyunjin's hand, and began eating it as Hyunjin grumbled next to him in vain.

Minho was well aware that he was right. But he (foolishly), thought he was sparing you pain by miserably keeping his feelings to himself.

Minho hated and adored every second of loving you. He hated how stifling it was, not being able to whisper soft words of romance in your ear late at night and wake with you in his arms the next morning. But he adored how his heart picked up pace at just the sight of you and how he felt weightless at your featherlight brushes of his arm.

To put it simply, loving someone from afar was as temperamental as the oceans; the tides were hauntingly beautiful and gorgeously devastating but they were impossible to escape from.

An ugly metaphor, felt Minho, who had yet to master the art of swimming.

Minho sat on the couch, Hyunjin and Jeongin playing Mario Kart on one side of him and Chan and Kyujin engaged in an intense game of Uno on the other side of him. You were off socializing as you often did during your annual Christmas parties, but Minho knew you would come back to him.

You always did.

Minho set up shop at five in the morning that day with you. Kyujin had a Christmas dance recital that day, and you both were one set of hands down. From morning, the two of you diced, rolled and baked, dusted and decorated, troubled each other and even had a little tickling bout followed by a pillow fight (and plate of burnt snowman shaped cookies).

This was the future that Minho wanted, you by his side engaging in mundane activities with lazy, soft kisses peppered to each others lips every dya.

He watched, sick with envy, as Changbin scooped up his girlfriend Chaeyeon in his arms and start pressing kisses to her face while she squealed. Minho watched in dread and unease at all the couples around him engaged in extravagant acts of romance and subtle domesticity, dreaming of when, if ever, that would be you and him.

He was so distracted by the torrential current inside him that he hadn't noticed when Kyujin and Chan shifted their game to the kitchen island and you had sat down next him.

"Hi," you told him softly.

Minho blinked rapidly a the voice he would recognize anywhere, the one that beckoned him in his dreams and went silent in his nightmares. Behind you, Jisung and Seungmin were brazenly building a stacked tower of cookies which Minho knew would fall and create a mess unless prevented, but he chose to ignore it.

"Hey," replied Minho, turning around to drink in your entire figure.

"I'm happy I've detached from romance, Minho," you informed him as your arm brushed his, "I don't think dating's for me and..."

Your voice trailed off and you turned to look at him, look into his eyes with an oddly melancholic smile that was contradictory to your earlier statement of happiness.

"I think I'm finally healing."

And under the Christmas lights with you in your Santa hat with the tip of your nose tinted pink from the cold, Minho had never loved and lost more.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

year three.

Christmas this year was filled to the brim with nagging from your end about why Minho refused to find a girlfriend despite your self-proclaimed temporary vow of celibacy. It was also the year that Minho realized the importance of the time he had with you.

"Come on Min," you groaned at Minho as he pulled up his sleeves and start kneading the cookie dough, "You'll love Sullyoon."

No, he wanted to say, I love you.

Instead, he responded with, "If I'm off with a girl, who'll make sure Jisung, Kyujin and Hyunjin don't end up burning down the apartment?"

You just laughed and made your way from behind the counter to the dining table, where Minho was busy at work. After he was done, you took the dough, neatly rolled and cut the cookies into shape and propped them in the oven. Minho was busy setting up a Christmas movie in the living room and you sat next to him, closing your eyes and resting your head on his shoulder.

Minho would have tensed, if it weren't for how habitual he had become to these touches form you he was the recipient of after practically moving in with you.

Kyujin moved out of the apartment after she got a part time job at a dance institute about a half hour away from where you both lived. She needed the easy commute, and rent was not that difficult to pay for you due to your comfortable internship since sophomore year of college at a reputed tech company.

Minho, the only other person who was in the internship program with you, basically lived at your apartment. He had his own bed, clothes and even toothbrush at your apartment. He stayed nearly five nights in a row, going back to his actual apartment over the weekends to make sure that Jisung was alive and feeding himself more than just chicken breast.

This new development caused Minho to think that maybe, just maybe you harbored feelings for him the way he did for you. The two of you basically functioned like a live-in couple, so much so that your neighbors would mistake Minho for your boyfriend more often than not.

That's why Minho couldn't understand why you were so insistent about him meeting Sullyoon.

The party started soon after. Seungmin begrudgingly wore a Santa hat on his head and Jeongin clicked a picture of him at every possible occasion. Hyunjin and Chan introduced their girlfriends and everybody positively loved Karina and Lisa. Jisung gushed to everyone about the current guy he liked, Yeonjun, and Changbin informed his friends that on New Years, he planned to propose.

In the midst of it all sat Minho and you, arms looped around each other, both feeling love of different magnitudes.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You were dragging Minho to meet Sullyoon, evidently sitting in your room, despite his protests. You were wearing a long, billowy dress with a checkered pattern of red and white boxes that Minho teased made you look like a picnic blanket. But the truth was he loved it, he loved you and he did not love being taken to meet another woman by the one he was in love with.

"Have fun!" you grinned and shut the door behind yourself, waltzing away with immense satisfaction.

Minho let out a defeated sigh and turned around to see the fabled Seol Yoon-A, affectionately called Sullyoon. He could tell why you were gushing over her. She wore a red dress with a small bow, had pretty doe eyes and was beautiful no doubt.

But nothing in Minho's head could compare to you.

"So," Sullyoon laughed sweetly, "She threatened you to be here too, huh?"

"Yep," responded Minho curtly and in defeat.

Sullyoon got up and made his way to him, arms snaking around his shoulder and for a terrifying moment, he didn't want her to stop. Not because he enjoyed it, but maybe because this would help him get over you, you who would never love him the way he loved you.

But then the scent of Sullyoon's vanilla perfume hit Minho and it was nothing like your fragrant lilac mist. It was nothing like you.

Minho gently moved Sullyoon's arms from they were and took a step back. Sullyoon raised an eyebrow and studied him. She then snorted and sat down on the bed again.

"Ah. So you are in love with her," she said matter-of-factly.

"I-what-," Minho stuttered, unable to figure out what to say to such a statement.

Sullyoon sighed and patted the space beside her. "It's obvious you know. All men are stupid." And under her breath she added, "Thank god I also like girls. Much more mature."

Minho sat down, Sullyoon gave him a knowing look, and he told her everything. He told her about how he met you, how he realized he loved you and how he thought you might like him too. He told her about your favorite color, the way you always wore two extra rubber bands because one always seemed to break.

When he was done with it all, Sullyoon gave him a comforting pat and said, "You are in some deep shit, Minho."

"How would you know?" he scoffed.

Sullyoon shit eating grin turned sad, "Because I went through the same thing you did."

This time it was Minho's turn to survey Sullyoon, to try and understand what she went through that made her so intimately understand his situation.

"I was hopelessly in love with my best friend, but I didn't tell him for two years. When I finally did, I found out that even though he didn't completely feel the same, he was willing to give it a try. Loving him was the best year of my life. And he fell in love with me too. We were attached at the hip and I will never forgive myself for what happened."

Minho had a bad feeling that this story did not end happily. He swallowed a lump in his throat and asked, "What happened?"

Sullyoon had a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. "I held Felix as he died."

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

year four.

[5:23 PM]

sullyoonie-tunes: so. today's the day, huh.

[5:24 PM]

You (Minho): today's the day.

[5:27 PM]

sullyoonie-tunes: MY BROTHER IS NO LONGER BITCHLESS

sullyoonie-tunes: not insinutating that y/n is a bitch of course

sullyoonie-tunes: YOU'RE the bitch

sullyoonie-tunes: she's an angel

sullyoonie-tunes: pls dont kill me

[5:30 PM]

You (Minho): are you done???

"Hey, who are you texting?" you asked Minho, settling down next to him on his bed.

"Ah, Sullyoon," he responded.

You smiled at him, pulling his blanket over the two of you and weaving your fingers through his hair. "When did you two become so close?"

Minho snorted, "When I got her a girlfriend." And now she's getting me one, he left unsaid.

"Oh, I adore Haewon," you smiled, setting your head on Minho's shoulder.

Minho decided that if he was ever going to confess his feelings to you, it would be during Chrismas. You loved Christmas, he loved you, and what would be more perfect than that?

Over the course of the last year, you and Minho were offered permanent jobs at the company you were interning at. Minho had officially moved in with you, and had learned to live with the fact that he could only love you from a distance, completely unaware of the turmoil you felt about your feelings towards him.

Minho had also developed a strong friendship with Sullyoon, who he truly saw as a younger sister. He helped her meet Haewon, and she helped him dissect every move you made to glean information that would support Minho's hypothesis of you maybe liking him back.

Minho had expected his love for you to pass, to ebb and flow away with the changing seasons.

Instead, it blossomed into something he would forever live with. Minho was madly in love. To him, you weren't just a love.

To him, you hung to moon, stitched the stars onto the sky and gave the cosmos every diaphanous colour it glowed with.

The doorbell rang five times in rapid succession and Minho leapt off his bed. "He's mine," he laughed, watching you struggle to get out of the cocoon you had made for yourself in his blanket.

"Well he clearly loves me more," you retorted, catching up to Minho at the door who, ever the gentleman, opened for you.

Chaeyeon smiled at you and behind her was a beaming Changbin. In his hands he held two things. A large bag in one hand and a carrier in the other. You and Minho urgently ushered the two inside and Chaeyeon placed a gift on the kitchen counter.

"Meet Seo Sun-woo," said Changbin proudly, and you and Minho gushed over Changbin and Chaeyeon's two month old son.

Ever since Chaeyeon had announced she was pregnant after her and Changbin's wedding, a sense of reality dawned upon your entire friend group. You had to grow up, become mature and fend for yourself in this world. Gone were the days when you and Minho would party hop playing beer pong. Now, you both stayed up talking about your future and you hopes, dreams and aspiraitons.

You dreamt of making a name for yourself in the tech world, starting a company that would teach disabled kids coding and give them opportunities to work for gigantic tech companies. Minho dreamt of you and with that came the silent promise of adopting your dreams as his own.

"I want kids some day," you said as you held baby Seo in your lap. This year's party was quieter, much more secluded and only had your direct close circle of friends, "with Chris and Lisa expecting twins and even Hyunjin adopting a dog for Karina, it feels like everyone is growing their family."

Minho pouted. "Am I not growing your family?"

You laughed, "Minho, you've always been home."

Minho gave you quite possibly the widest smile until he heard a tin can fall to the ground and a set of four groans erupt from your bedroom. "Look, we're practically raising Jisung, Felix, Seungmin and Jeongin."

You sighed in affectionate annoyance. "In between them and SonnieDoongieDori, I think that's enough family expansion for now."

Another crash came from your room and you both shared a knowing look. You either got the situation under control, or something broke.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"I feel dead," you moaned, falling onto the sofa after cleaning up well into the night. The party had ended with Lisa unceremoniously vomiting on the floor and everyone ushering her out and enquiring about her state of well-being.

"Let's go, I have one last present for you," Minho coaxed you out of your shell in the sofa, his own heart pounding incessantly.

"Just give it tomo-"

"I'll dump the litter box in your-"

"Fine," you groaned, "Ten minutes and then we start our Home Alone movie marathon."

Minho nodded, to anxious to argue, "Deal."

Both of you stepped out onto the balcony where the cold nipped at you. There were still couples strolling outside and children hurling snowballs at each other. Christmas lights covered virtually every apartment in sight, red and green lights glowing in tandem.

"What is it?" you asked, looking around him for maybe a box or a letter. Minho stood frozen in the anxiety of every way you could say no to him, until you nudged him back to reality.

Minho coughed. "It's not so much a thing and more of something I have to say."

"Oh."

Minho looked at the way your hair curled at the bottom, grazing the hem of your sweatpants. He looked at your jackets' cuffs, stained with chocolate when you both were lathering Nutella over a layer of cook. He looked at your face, full of beauty and kindness.

But mostly he looked at you, strong, gracious, and lover of Christmas.

Minho thought that confessing his love for you would be the hardest thing he's ever done. Instead, it came as naturally to him as snow falling on the streets of Seoul in winter.

"I love you," the confession fell from his lips. "I have loved you for four years and I will spend the rest of my life loving you if you'll let me. You understand me on a level that nobody else ever has. I love you Y/N, and I have never known anything else the way I have known that."

A song started in him that time, a scratchy beat of hopeful terror that started from his toes and came up to his heart.

"Plus, the cats won't accept anyone apart from you as their mother, and that includes Lix," he added for good measure.

You stared at him for what seemed like an eternity, and Minho felt his initial confidence wearing off. That was until you launched yourself into his arms, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. Minho wrapped his arms around you, a sigh of relief escaping form his mouth.

"You don't know how long I've loved you for," you mumbled into his sweater.

And everything came to a beautiful crescendo when the nights Minho spent tossing and turning, the four years of assumed unrequited agony did not go in van because you loved him.

You loved him.

That night, Minho held you tightly in his arms underneath the blanket and was at a complete disregard of Kevin's plight in New York. He pressed kisses to every exposed surface he could find, your giggles louder than the shenanigans the character was playing on TV.

"This festival is my whole world," you told him with love brimming in his eyes.

Minho then finally told you three words that he believed summed up everything he felt towards you for the entire time he's ever known you.

"And you're mine."

please reblog and comment if you liked this fic! it means everything to me and I love reading your thoughts <3

: ̗̀➛ current permanent taglist:

@linoalwaysknows @moon0fthenight @hyulino @palindrome969

@squishybinnieee @lastgreatamericandynasty1 @stayinlimbo @farfromsugafanfic

@hongshuaknow @cookiesandcreammy @kayleefriedchicken @toomanybiasz

@seooj444 @soaplickerrr @nappynapnaps @lina-linny @yrqrnc

@calypsohan @minluvly

also tagging @stayblrofficial for their christmas writing event!

#StayblrHolidayEvent #minho x reader #minho x y/n #minho #- via's fics <3 #lee know #lee know fluff #lee know imagines #lee know x reader #lee know x y/n #lee know x you

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liciapeonia · 13 days ago

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Relationships maybe part 2...

it's been a while since i've written anything but anyway

ATTENTION!!!!! this was all from my butt

She's exclusive around you; she's calm (sometimes with you) funny (with you) and needy (with you).

it's a lot of love and she just spends all her time loving you with obsession !

she shows you all the different and beautiful places, if you've been together for a while she tells you all the secrets she can

honestly the jinx full of hallucinations who talks to herself all the time is gone after the arrival of isha and yours , she will go crazy in case when you are not there

Probably full of intimate moments and when I talk about intimacy it's the kind that you just feel and don't say anything like: Jinx has had a shitty day and when she arrives you're just sitting there all cute on the bed reading a book just by looking at her you know some shit is going on, she comes walking over to your side basically kicking off her shoes and crawling over to you and laying on your chest and you're there with her eyes closed and you holding her tight until you both fall asleep

Princess Day is a bit like going out and robbing clothes stores, doing your nails or hairstyles and thinking of ways to decorate your house or her room.

lots of pranks and jokes

loud music and lots of dances

To be honest, I don't think a relationship with a cold person who has a hard time talking about her feelings and things like that will work for her, maybe she'll get on your nerves to get something out of you and it's funny at first, but over time it'll get boring, it just won't work.

She has a lot of problems in her life both in relation to the death of family members, friends, feelings are a very internal thing and she won't open up completely at the beginning like in the second season in which Jinx and Isha were together we only see a small and last interaction between them, they were together for like 3 to 6 months and only in these “last interactions” is when we see Jinx very emotional, so she talks about her old name ... what I'm trying to say is that it's going to take her a long time to open up fully, not because of a lack of trust but probably because she's afraid of getting hurt.

Sensitive to you going out and not telling her where you're going (I think that's a bit obvious), I believe that at first she'll do the same thing, which, let's admit it, is a bit hypocritical, but with a good conversation she'll understand and always tell you or put notes around the room.

another topic she likes to know what you think what you feel, she has a history of rambling maybe when she doesn't know what you think or feel she'll be insecure thinking the worst maybe , with a stronger relationship she'll be able to understand just by looking at you but in any case it's good to talk actively so as not to have doubts

Important topic, she doesn't look like a woman who bathes a lot, as a person from a tropical country I simply can't go a whole day without two baths, let's be honest dear when we don't bathe our little princess between the legs is rotten with a strong smell. I think if you're like me who bathes a lot she'll end up noticing trying to run at your pace, as a bonus she bathes with you and you'll feel the difference in her pussy.

You're a woman with fucking acne, she didn't realize it until you said it, and she'll probably just forget about it. But you're a woman who feels insecure about the acne, my love, she'll suffocate you until you realize that you're beautiful no matter what.

You're a plus size woman so know that you're a rarity being very realistic in my mind the standards of beauty about bodies have a more Middle Ages footprint considering that you having more weight meant that you ate better and a lot of other things to summarize your body seriously or aesthetically attractive, come with my reasoning in zaum it's a more punk vibe more different, lots of drug addicts lots of people working day and night poverty everywhere and the food probably won't be sustaining but anyway it's up to you, she'll love you use your ass /chest as a pillow and hug you like a teddy bear at bedtime

You're a very thin person, don't worry, she is too, she'll sleep cuddled up to you as if you were a teddy bear, she'll sleep on your chest, honestly, when it comes to your body, she doesn't really care that much…

let's talk about the moments when she gives you a closer look, a longer touch... it doesn't matter what time it is, if you're getting changed and she shows up at that exact moment, she'll pounce on you like a dog in heat, putting her hand wherever she can or wherever you leave it, hugging you from behind, sniffing you, kissing your neck, but then she wakes up and realizes it was a dream.

no, I'm just kidding, send me a message if you want me to talk exclusively about spicier things or just send me requests

but now I want to ask you a genuine question, is it just me or have you noticed that in some hots the sex between jinx and female readers, which should be lesbian sex, looks more like hetero sex.

kiss with cheese

#jinx x reader #arcane jinx x reader #jinx x fem!reader #jinx #lesbianism #sapphic #peonic jinx #jinx arcane #s/n x jinx #arcane

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spiderfunkz · 9 months ago

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hi! i’d love to know abt your fav headcanon(s) for tasm!peter and maybe a little oneshot of said headcanon(s)?

peter parker falls in love HARDDDDD!! i love him and his nerdy ass like aaaaghhhhhh. he's so cutesy and skrunkly i just wanna throw a rock at him 💕

peter parker is the type of person to go head over heels when he likes someone!! the type of person to steal a glance every time you're not looking. the type of person to secretly hope he'd get partnered up with you during class. the type of person to practice in front of the mirror before finally talking to you.

he's the type of person to notice every little thing about you. the pins on your bag of your favorite artists? he can name five songs. your favorite flowers? he walks past the flower shop every morning, hoping to buy you some one day. the way you always have that one mood ring on your finger, he finds it adorable.

he goes so flustered whenever you catch him glancing at you. his face turns all red and he starts giggling actually, your probably the reason he skips to school everyday, hands in pockets, twirling around in pure joy and excitement.

he'll brag to his friends on how he talked to you when in reality it was him saying happy birthday and you replying with a thank you along with a smile that surely gave him a cavity.

to summarize it up. peter parker doesn't just like someone. he loves them. pure admiration, adoration, infatuation, smitten. you're the light in his heart, the butterfly in a field of wildflowers, the red tulip in a field of white tulips.

peter has liked you for a while now.

it was a long day of classes, he could've just skipped but aunt may found out he was doing that too much and got pretty mad. besides, it's just one more class. a class he never really had to try in. should be easy right?

yes, but no.

you just switched classes to biology. sitting in the only empty chair, just two chairs away from peter. he saw you, and that's when he knew.

you were never late, unlike peter. every time he comes in you're already there, smiling awkwardly at the situation as mrs. moore lectured him. but what's the point? peter wasn't listening, he was too busy figuring out what emotion was on your mood ring, and spoiler alert! it was love.

it took him a lot of convincing and reassurance from gwen, but he finally got the courage to talk to you. not about how the weather is, or the same old "did you do the _ assignment yet?". he was going to ask you out on a totally friends-only, platonic date ( that goes so well it will end up with you and him holding hands! ).

"hi!" peter smiled, his hand playing with his hair. "hey, peter." he seemed nervous, you were too.

"um, so, i was wondering if you.. would.." he looked everywhere but your eyes, "..that if we could, maybe, um.. hangout? together? if you want to. obviously, you don't have to but um-"

"no yeah, i would love to peter!" you smiled. was it hot? it felt hot, your face felt hot, does peter notice? he probably does.

peter's heart was racing through a field, it was winning first place. "okay, good- great! i could um. pick you up? i'll text you. you have my number right? i could just um- you know..." he played with the hem of his jacket.

you nodded, "yeah i do." — "okay, we could meetup somewhere.. maybe the park? is that boring? the cinema? anything you'd like, i'm fine with anything you know. or we could just.. hang.."

you smile, "sure."

"really?"

"yeah definitely, either one. or we could do all of them, i've got nothing to do." — "okay, that's super! super- cool.. super cool. i'll text you, is that okay?"

you nodded, "of course."

"okay, i um- i'll go now. i should go now. i'll see you? later?" peter asks.

"yeah okay!" you wave happily as he walks backwards towards the exit, nearly bumping into 2, no, 3 now, students.

"text me!" you yell out.

peter nodded eagerly.

he walks out, knowing gwen is not gonna hear the end of this.

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darkcircles4lyfe · 9 months ago

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it's a story about hands (reprise)

Yeah, okay, today's the day.

I gave my blog that title for a reason, you know, and it has loomed over me for years because the hand motif is absolutely everywhere and you could go on about it forever.

Maybe that's something I'll never actually attempt to do, but this chapter, we reached a breaking point.

Before I continue, I need to give a big, big disclaimer: I do not have a physical disability, so I'm not able to speak about that from the standpoint of representation as a first-hand perspective. I have at least listened to enough disabled people to know that fictional characters who become amputees only to miraculously gain their limbs back is, um, a trope. Disabled people in general being "healed" is a conception we would really prefer to avoid here. Not to call people out, but I don't think we're giving enough space to acknowledge that.

I don’t feel comfortable making the judgement call about what should happen. I’m leaving that open. I also don't want to downplay people's emotional reactions. Honestly, I don't know if I can accurately define the line between acknowledging real pain vs. ableist pity. But I’d like to talk about the possibilities of what could happen. Other characters have definitely gotten permanent disabilities as a result of their hero work, or even just the side effects of their quirk. But, for better or worse, I don't think this case is really about representation. Not that Horikoshi won't do that justice. He might. What I'm saying is that's not his purpose for having Izuku lose his arms. It's meant to be symbolic, so we can explore what it means. The other thing I’m keeping in mind here is that Horikoshi is notorious for playing with our expectations, like, alllllll the time. I mean, just take a few chapters ago for a classic example. Eri appeared at the end, and we all assumed she was about to take some sort of action to save someone with her quirk. Then, immediately following, we were given an explanation for why that wouldn’t be happening. And now it’s clear he wanted to do that “fake out” not just as a silly cliffhanger prank, but specifically so we would know not to suspect that Eri could be the miraculous solution to Izuku’s loss of his arms. Rest assured, there is no easy way out of this.

The expectation at play in this particular instance is an old one. It’s very understated, but its subtext has burned so brightly, you’d be a fool not to notice it. It sits with anticipation like one half of a call and response. Man, I was so certain. Lots of people still are. I was really looking forward to printing the panel where it happened onto a t shirt and wearing it proudly. All the hand motifs in this story radiate thematically from a single moment, the one that started it all for Izuku.

It raises all kinds of questions about the act of saving, who needs saving, why, what does it mean, what are the dynamics of power, politics, honesty, exploitation, compassion, pity, disdain, sacrifice. Katsuki has dealt with many of these since he first rejected Izuku’s hand. While Izuku was the one who was convinced Katsuki would keep on rejecting him…

…Katsuki was the one who kept that moment in his mind all these years and eventually came to regret it.

Katsuki is the one yearning for that hand-hold, the one who has imbued it with so much more weight than it ever originally had. Izuku, in contrast, does not allow himself to dwell on what he wants. To illustrate this difference, we need to look at another piece of foreshadowing:

Ugh, do y'all remember when lots of folks were complaining about how there never seemed to be actual consequences for Izuku's destructive treatment of his own body? I don't blame them, I was concerned and confused about it too. There were several "fixes" along the way. Recovery Girl healed him, but left a physical reminder. Then he started training to fight with his legs… sometimes. Then he got support items. All of these were unsatisfying non-conclusions because they didn't present Izuku with a lasting enough impression to change in a meaningful way. They didn't address his core, his origin.

Of course, that all changed this chapter. Now it looks like our frustration was inflicted intentionally. With the current context in mind, all of these moments look more sinister, like this day was always gonna come because they kept putting bandaids on a deep emotional and psychological wound. The problem is pretty much spelled out for us here:

As Katsuki put it, he just doesn’t take himself into account, ya know? He doesn’t care what happens to him. And he lies about it, to keep others from worrying, to keep them safe. To keep them from returning the favor and putting themselves in harm’s way for his sake. His motivations are noble,

…but what about the little boy inside Izuku? Who saves him?

This is all about Izuku giving himself up to the point that he literally has no more to give. The thing is, I bet he saw this coming. He knew his limits and decided to keep going anyway, because his personal safety and wellbeing are not important. Now that way of thinking has come back to bite him because the fight isn’t over yet, and he’s already made his sacrifice. So now we know who will be more distraught over this. Not Izuku—Katsuki.

It’s not about Izuku becoming disabled, it’s about how Katsuki wanted to use the intertwining of their fingers to communicate that he would never let go. Never stop valuing him most. Never let himself make the mistake of rejecting him again. Never let Izuku be so reckless with his life. To say: “we are in this together.”…if only Katsuki believed he deserved to be able to say such things. To reach out his hand would have been the ultimate way to simply imply them and let Izuku be the one to decide. Then, to feel their hands clasped together would be more than either of them dared hope for, but so beautiful, so right. A moment they’ve waited their whole lives for.

Yeah. That’s what we were expecting. We’ve been so comfortable. Horikoshi gave us all the signs. He tempted and teased us over and over. BUT. You know he does this thing were he gives us a desirable, completely plausible and simple thing to look forward to, and then he snatches it away. And THEN he replaces it with something much better, something we were not expecting at all because it seemed too good to be true. That’s exactly what happened when Himiko snatched Izuku away, and we were robbed of the chance to see him and Katsuki fight together. In hindsight, though, I’m glad things went a different way because now there’s so much more depth and angst on display. Likewise, in the present moment, we may consider how, as one door closes, another opens.

As wonderfully meaningful as the hand-hold would have been, perhaps it is still too simple a resolution for Izuku, for his and Katsuki’s relationship. Tbh, it could have been done like 100 chapter ago. At this point, there’s so much more potential. There are a couple of ways it could go. If Izuku stays armless, Katsuki will be forced to use other methods to get his point across. He’ll have to do something else, or say what he means, or both. Yes, I’m talking about what you think I’m talking about. If I say it, I just might jinx it (lol), but I mean it. I’m being serious. Either way, if Izuku did get his arms back in the end, I’m sure that it wouldn’t be an easy fix. It would be hard-won against Izuku’s self-destructive mindset, and/or by Katsuki’s conviction. Again, I say this knowing it is not meant so much as a representation of disability, but as a representation of Izuku’s greatest character flaw taken to the extreme. I know this might sound harsh, like, hasn’t he been through enough? I get that, but… I’ve said it before and I say it again: Izuku is stubborn as hell.

I wish I had a resounding final note to end this on, but I kinda don’t. I’m not sure what’s best. Now we just have to wait and see what Horikoshi has in mind.

#lin speaks #bnha meta #bnha manga #bnha 419 #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #bakudeku #bkdk #dekubaku #dkbk

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joonipertree · 3 months ago

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Pro-racer!Jiro x insecure!reader

drabble that started it all

the smut that isn't done yet but will be uploaded at some point

Thank u everyone who asked for a part 2, it motivated me a lot i hope u like this as much as i do!

When you heard the door of your apartment open, your body stiffened. It hadn't been that long since Mikey left, only 5 pm and he said he'd be back by ten so it confused you. But you didn't get up from under your blanket, didn't run out and hug him in greeting. You stayed silent and still, wondering maybe it was your imagination and then morbidly thinking an intruder got in. You wouldn't want an intruder to come in but Mikey just wasn't someone you wanted to see in that moment.

An exasperated sigh left Mikey’s lips but he was stubborn if anything so your body went deeper into the mattress from his body weight. He peppered you with kisses like he always did and your body relaxed under the onslaught of affection. Your head cleared for the first time in the last hour and every second you were in his presence was enough to assure you of his love. But the image of the comments flashed in your head, so easily. People saying that he and the model looked good together, that they would make a pretty couple, that it made sense. And as much as you wanted to deny it, you knew that there was a reason people were saying it. Of course there was, you had eyes. And the question that was begging to get out of you sat on your tongue like a weight.

And with some difficulty, you unstuck your tongue from the roof of your mouth and spoke with every fiber of your body protesting against it.

“Why are you dating me?”

The silence that followed was deafening and felt like a burial for your emotions. You didn’t know what you wanted him to say, second guessing your worries and your thoughts. Eating your words would have been easier, shutting up would probably keep the remnants of your relationship together. Of course, your relationship didn’t feel like it was on its last leg but love was blind wasn’t it? People hid secrets easily enough. And the question in your head wasn’t necessarily if he loved you but couldn’t he love someone better?

“Your laugh gets squeaky when you giggle for too long.”

A pause. You still couldn’t look at him.

“The way you talk about your favourite characters is filled with so much passion and nuance, I know for a fact that that doesn’t just apply to them. You do a cute thing where you break eye contact with me when you stare at me for too long, we’ve been together for four years. You annoy me every day when I don’t pay attention to you and then take your revenge by eating my food.”

Your eyes were blurry from the unshed tears that threatened to break free and all Mikey could do was kiss your cheek as he continued his list.

“Your hands are very small in mine and you give me extra meat on my plate when you think I’m not looking and you pat babu on his headlights like he’s precious to you. You complain about having to take care of a big baby like me but do it anyway. And you cackle every time you put my hair in pigtails like it's the most evil plan. We spent fifteen minutes the other day doing basic math when tryna bake something and ended up getting flour everywhere. What a silly question for you to ask, honey.”

You sniffled and let him turn your head so you could see the crinkling of the corner of Mikey’s eyes and the gentle smile he reserved for only you. And as much as you wanted to let it go then and there, your fist still punched his shoulder, albeit with no strength in it.

“Then why was your face so close to that model, you jackass?” Another fist landed on his chest but he didn’t budge at all, cradling your face that didn’t wanna venture too far away from his hand. “I get that she’s pretty but you can’t just do that to me!! Am I not enough? Do you think it’s fine cuz it's a photoshoot? Cuz no! I don’t like it at all!!! You fucker! You piece of shit!”

Mikey sighed, closing his eyes for a second before saying, “it’s not what it looks like.”

The scripted sounding line made you see red as your foot kicked him almost reflexively in the stomach. He fell back onto the bed, legs and arms spread as he groaned at the impact. You took the chance to get up and begin walking out of the room.

“I know it looks bad but genuinely! Not what you think it is!”

The pillow you threw at him shut him up real quick and he was left laying there in a disgruntled ball. The door slammed shut behind you as you stomped your way into the guest bedroom, closing with less intensity as your anger fizzled out as soon as you went inside. You sat down on the bed, the photo burned into your retina and every single comment going through your head like you’re scrolling through your phone at that exact moment.

After half an hour, the door to the room opened and mentally cursed yourself for forgetting to lock it. This didn’t change the position you were in, a small ball of pity on one corner of the bed. There were two thumps on the side table next to you and after some shuffling, the door opened and closed. You waited five minutes before peeking from your blanket. A glass of water sat on the table along with your phone, precariously placed in your direction. You looked around and saw the room being empty before you chugged the water down.

Your phone pinged with a notification from Mikey’s instagram. He posted something while the two of you were in an active fight? That bitch-

You picked up your phone, stared at your lockscreen of Mikey and you with your cheeks pressed together and opened his page despite yourself. It was a video with the caption ‘thanks for sending this @luvrboisanzu’. The video played on its own, a few seconds before the camera had captured the photo that had caused this whole ordeal. The model was seen hovering behind him, leaning down with her hand stretching out towards his face. There was no hesitance in Mikey’s hand shooting up and grabbing her wrist, glaring at her before glaring at the director telling him to ‘let her’.

“It’s just for the camera! People will love it!” The old man persisted before Mikey stood up from his seat.

“I’m taken and I’m bored. We must have enough by now, right?” Mikey’s hands were tucked into the pockets of his dress pants, eyes sharp and steady.

“Oh come on, a few more won’t hurt right? Think of your fans---” The director pushed on and the air around Mikey changed immediately. It grew more stifling, his eyes narrowing at the man.

Silence, no one knew what to say before Ken-chin brought over Mikey's jacket. Mikey began leaving, ignoring the stammering staff members that were asking him to stay.

“Oof,” a sound came from behind the camera and you instantly recognized it as Haruchiyo, “dude bro really shouldn't have pushed it.”

And the video ended.

You stared at the screen for a second, noticing the little red circle on his profile. You clicked it without thinking, the video that played took a second for you to process.

Sanzu had posted it on his story and tagged @bikerboi_manjiro, Mikey had shared it on his story. The main focus was Mikey, his hair up in a ponytail while he played patty cake with someone that you instantly realised was you off camera. The memory was clear in your head, from a few months ago when you were on the sidelines watching haru fuck around with Mikey under the guise of a makeover. His nails were painted metallic silver, his nose was grazed with blush and he had graphic liner adorning his eyes.

The main problem with filming was his lack of attention span and inability to sit still. So he'd often just move around or eat the snacks or bound over to you for your affection. In this instance, the two of you were bored and ended up just stuck in a long game of patty cake.

Mikey, in the video, watched your hands fumble and grinned brightly before grabbing your hands in his. You remembered how flustered you had gotten from his stare, you two had been together for a long time but his gaze still felt too much to you at times. Mikey broke down laughing seeing you all blushy, eyes squeezing shut and leaning closer towards you.

The story left your screen and you were left with a swirl of emotions which you could only describe as embarrassed, awed and grateful. As well as just a tiny bit pissed that he thinks that he could post himself being cute and you'd walk out the door back into his arms?? He was right, of course. But it still pissed you off.

So you dragged your ass out of the guest room and instantly noticed his napping form on the living room couch. Mikey's head was against the couch cushion, eyes closed and hair spread out like a halo.

And without much warning, you plopped yourself on his lap. His eyes instantly shot open, instantly focused on you as you made yourself comfortable on your seat. Mikey's arms went around your waist, soothing your back with his large hand as you laid your head on your shoulder.

“Sorry for kicking you….and punching you….and doubting you.” You whispered.

Mikey snorted, “couldn't have asked for a better kick. And it's fine, I would've kicked myself too if I could. Sorry it came to this.”

“I shouldn't have thought you would do anything with another person….you never gave me a reason to believe that.” You squeezed him against you as much as you could, letting him soak in your warmth.

“You're always so hard on yourself, you know that? Always think the worst of yourself. Which is very annoying when I look at you and I see the best person I could possibly be with. I really don't think you understand how lucky I am to be dating you.” Mikey whispered, placing soft kisses along your neck and shoulder, letting you melt into him.

“I'm just me.” You whined, too focused on his lips on your skin than your words.

“And you are something that is so rare and precious that it's a miracle I found you. You think I can walk down the street or go into a photo shoot and find someone like you? I could spend lifetimes searching and not get close, yet here you are…in my lap.” Manjiro's kisses had turned into light nibbling , hand curling so that the back of his nails could graze your spine, causing you to shiver.

“You're a very silly little baby aren't you, honey? Having these silly thoughts. You don't need to stress your pretty head about it, no not at all.” Mikey spoke gently, voice soft and buttery. And you just whined into his shoulder, letting his words fog up your brain and close your eyes.

Mikey's long fingers made their way into your hair, scratching your scalp enough for your nerves to come alive and cause shivers run down your back. His nails reached the nape of your neck and a little whimper forced its way out of your throat.

“Mh-hm.” Mikey hummed, rocking from side to side. Your head was stuck in a dream-like state, body melted against his own with barely any thoughts left.

“Jiro.” You whined, feeling overwhelmed. Your boyfriend only chuckled, playing with the hem of your shorts, asking for permission. And oh, you wanted him so badly.

#mikey x reader #mikey fluff #mikey sano x reader #manjiro sano x reader #tokrev x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers x you #tokyorev x reader #sano manjiro x reader

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bloggingboutburgers · 4 months ago

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Enjoyed your post about why society is so obsessed with romantic relationships is to procreate.

It's worth remembering that until the past like 100 years child death rates were around 48 percent. Not to mention how many women died in child birth and how many people died young in general.

The need to push the straight romantic relationship has been engraved in human society over thousands of years and this hang over is not going to disappear quickly.

I believe its the reason many people still view marriage and raising a family as the ultimate goal. Women are still looked down on for choosing to not marry or have children, which is another hangover of this.

Even if your kids survives (which was not a given in the past), then you have a heck of a hard time raising one, the physical, emotional and financial labour is huge so the incentive has to be too.

So yeah, when you think of like that, it makes sense why society would push those kind of relationships.

I'm just grateful I live in a time and place we're I can choose my own path, even if it's not easy 🙏

Honestly, yeah, considering this, it does make sense that there's an inheritance from the past from a societal standpoint.

What still puzzles me about all this I guess is how much obsession there is over it amongst queer identities too. You can't "procreate" from a classic biological standpoint as a gay couple in a lot of cases, but boiiiiii are quee romances and smut everywhere like other romances and smut anyway. As an aroace, that's the part that still puzzles me I guess, so it's the part I'll keep wondering about.

But... God yeah. It's such a relief that things aren't as rigid as they used to be anymore.

#anon #aromantic #asexual #aroace #amatonormativity

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max1461 · 8 months ago

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Would you say that the distinction between high-context and low-context languages is real? I was skeptical at first, but japanese seems to leave a lot more information implicit in a typical utterance than english.

No such distinction is used (or at least commonplace enough that I have heard of it) in linguistics. If one were to introduce such a distinction, they would have to put forth some way to measure or operationalize "low/high-contextuality"; in the absence of that there's very little I can say about it scientifically.

What I can say is that laymen's subjective impressions about "what different languages are like" are very often more grounded in bias than in fact. There was a good post that went around here a few months ago to the effect of

People everywhere: "[Language I learned in childhood] is so subtle and emotive, whereas [language I learned in adulthood] is so cold and logical".

Often, these subjective impressions then get filtered through the cultural-theorizing-industry and elaborated more and more, becoming more entrenched as "established wisdom" about X or Y language among non-linguists, and in the process getting farther and farther from any real or verifiable truth.

Well anyway, I think the claim that "Japanese is more contextual than English" is probably one of those. Until someone comes up with a real metric for "contexuality", at least, I will probably continue to judge that to be the most reasonable hypothesis. Here are two ways such an impression could have come about:

For English speakers who learn Japanese as adults, things which are left to context in English but not in Japanese will not appear to be "absent" and they won't notice any gaps, whereas things that are left to context in Japanese but not English will strike them as "absent" and they will be more aware of them.

English speakers who speak some Japanese but are not proficient will not in fact be fully familiar with the rules governing the interpretation of utterances, and so things which are actually grammatically determined may appear to rely on nebulous "context".

Here is a salient difference between English and Japanese: in Japanese, any noun phrase may be dropped "when its meaning can be contextually determined". For example, you might say

(1) kinou inu ga nikki tabe-chat-ta! yesterday dog SUBJ diary eat-COMP-PST "yesterday my dog ate my diary!"

(2) wanpaku da yo naa naughty COP ASS TAG "he's sure naughty"

In (1), we see that where English has possessive pronouns ("my"), Japanese doesn't use them. In (2), the noun phrase referring to the dog is dropped entirely. In fact, in both of these sentences, not dropping these things would be considered unnatural and stilted. Overuse of pronouns and NPs is a common marker of non-fluent Japanese as spoken by Westerners. Saying

(3) kinou watashi no inu ga / yesterday me GEN dog SUBJ / watashi no nikki tabe-chat-ta! me GEN diary eat-COMP-PST "yesterday my dog ate my diary!"

instead of (1) would technically not be ungrammatical, but would be markedly foreign sounding and corrected immediately in any intro Japanese class.

However, this already tells you something: the fact that (3) is unambiguously unfelicitous tells you that there are some underlying rules here, it isn't just "drop when you feel it". These rules are called information structure rules, and every language has them. In fact, Japanese explicitly marks information structure in a number of ways that English does not.

Some of the basic rules in Japanese of relevance here (this is a fairly crude analysis and does not account for various things, but it's probably good enough for our purposes) are:

Every discourse has a topic

If no topic is specified, the speaker is by default assumed to be the topic

A non-topic subject may be introduced into the discourse with ga

A noun already in the discourse may be made into the topic with wa

A salient subject already introduced, but not explicitly topicalized with wa, may be implicitly topicalized

Empty NP positions and unmarked possessors should be taken to refer to the topic

Items that are (semantically speaking) likely to be possessed should be interpreted as possessed before they are interpreted as indefinites

These rules are not inviolable, and in particular (5) requires some contextual definition of "salience" and (6) is certainly not this simple in reality (there are often multiple empty NP positions and the full ruleset for interpreting them seems complex; for instance subject positions are favored for topics over object positions and so on), so there is still some amount of combinatorics with referents and syntactic positions that presumably is going on somewhere in speakers' brains or whatever. But the point is that these rules narrow down pretty starkly what interpretations are "reasonable", and the actual role of context in disambiguating between reasonable interpretations is not so vast.

Anyway, using the above rules, it is not so hard to go through (1) and (2) again, and see that only a single reasonable interpretation actually presents itself.

As mentioned, Japanese very often makes information structure explicit using the particles wa, ga, and wo (not mentioned above, but the object equivalent of ga), which is somewhat uncommon among the languages of the world. English, on the other hand, does not do this. English speakers do not drop noun phrases, but they still replace noun phrases with pronouns very readily, and disambiguating pronoun referents uses pragmatic and information structure rules of exactly the same type! Consider, for instance

(4) My boyfriend went on a "boys trip" with Will and Tod last weekend... I told him not to let them pressure him into skinny dipping again. What was up with that anyway?

Think about what you're doing when you assign referents to these pronouns. It's automatic so you don't notice it, but is it unambiguous? Not at all! You know, for instance, that "him" refers to the boyfriend and "them" to Will and Tod, and you know in the second sentence that "that" refers to peer pressure skinny dipping. Some of this (in particular the referent of "that") I think has to be chalked up to pure context; it's the semantics from which we derive the correct assignment. But some of it is mediated by syntactic or information structure rules as well; for instance consider

(5) Jacob went on a "boys trip" with Will and Tod last weekend... I told him not to let them pressure him into skinny dipping again.

We are still able to produce the correct pronoun assignments in this sentence, even though the semantic context which informs us about which one of these people the speaker is most likely the closest to has been removed. This is, again, a product of information structure rules: Jacob is the topic here, and so (by whatever rules operate in English; not identical but not dissimilar to those in Japanese) we infer that "him" refers to Jacob.

Anyway, the point is that all languages make reference to context very freely in matters of interpretation (which is a big part of why language models had to develop implicit world knowledge before they could speak convincingly), and also languages make reference to context in a structured way which can often be described fairly precisely, and which leaves less open to chance and misinterpretation than might initially be assumed. The gulf between English and Japanese is not so large here. It might be the cases that the [pronouns + unmarked topicalization]-English system is more explicit than the [empty NP positions + marked topicalization]-Japanese system, but I don't know. And of course it might be the case that in some other domain of grammar Japanese is more explicit than English. So one must be careful with any broad assertions.

#linguistics #knee hone go

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lunaa007 · 2 years ago

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Astrology observations #1

Welcome to my first astrology observations!

I’m in no way a professional astrologer, this is purely for fun. Take only what resonates with you! I'm happy to discuss these points further in the comments :)

♦️ Leo mars live for the praise. They love words of affirmation, especially in bed 😏 They call the attention effortlessly when exercising, dancing or other mars-related activities. But they might not always like this.

♦️ Chiron 1st house can be very insecure about their appearance if they don’t work to heal this. I know someone with this placement that hates mirrors as they never liked what they saw. But it gives great potential to heal and help others regarding these issues.

♦️ Sagittarius mars people could regularly need new experiences in their sexual life. They might be open to try everything once “just to see”, and they might lean less toward monogamy than other mars placements.

♦️ Moon in the 6th house might be more sensitive to anxiety as their emotions lie in the house of daily life and routine. So they might have to deal with their emotions on a daily basis. They might need regular physical movement and consistent routines to feel regulated and content.

♦️ Pluto conjunct MC might hate posting on social media as they could feel exposed and vulnerable if they do. They might have an intense need to keep their life private.

♦️Mercury conjunct/square/opposite Pluto might swear a lot, or at least more than what they were taught was okay. If their education was very strict they might swear only when surprised, like if they get hurt or forget something.

♦️Venus in 10th house or conjunct MC can work in the fashion or makeup industry and be known for their beauty and sense of aesthetics.

♦️Saturn in Aquarius could have interest or talents in Uranian fields such as astrology or technology. They might be motivated to work towards social causes. They also could have an emotionally distant outlook on life.

♦️Lilith conjunct Ascendant create strong reactions everywhere they go. They are provocative without trying. People can get easily obsessed with them as they exude tremendous sex appeal. But they can also get very aggressive and negative reactions towards them without any reason.

♦️Mars square pluto absolutely need to channel their energy and anger into exercise and breath work. Martial arts is the best for them. If they don't control this energy it can get dangerous for themselves and even for others in extreme cases. But if they learn to control this tremendous force, they can achieve incredible things.

♦️Venus square Saturn can have a lot of difficulties with their self-worth, which affects their relationships. If you have a low self-esteem you will settle for less than you deserve. Once they have sufficiently worked on themselves and on their self esteem, they can find great love. This doesn't mean it can't come early but it might be more challenging. However, Saturn delays but never denies. They are not doomed and will find love (this depends also on other placements and aspects).

♦️Moon in Taurus can have a very calming and healing aura. People feel at peace when with these natives, especially when hugging. They are very grounded and stable, which is felt by others and is very reassuring. However, they can be stubborn at times as Taurus is a fixed sign.

♦️Mars in the 12th house could be passive aggressive sometimes as they do not recognise their own anger and never really learn how to control it. They might have sudden outbursts which can take the people around them by surprise.

♦️Sun opposite Moon can have a difficult relationship with their mother. They can feel that their mother's personality is the complete opposite of them and that they are not understood by her. Other aspects to the moon can come accentuate this or make it easier.

♦️Pisces Mars often have a talent for dancing. One of my best friends has this placement and she is a professional contemporary dancer. Her movements are so graceful, it really looks like water moving. Mars at a pisces degree (12°, 24°) can have a gift for dancing also to a lesser extent.

♦️Pluto in the 9th house can bring transformations and soul evolutions when traveling overseas, studying a higher education or moving abroad.

Thank you for reading ❤️

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mintaikk · 1 month ago

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Aight, I've seen some takes, and since I don't feel like arguing, imma just say my opinions here.

THE SHOW DIDNT FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING PRIOR TO MASTERMIND. The reason Stolas still dropped everything to save Blitzø was bcuz he is still shown to care about him a lot, and he is never going to go out of his way to hurt someone he cares about or let someone he cares about be hurt. He was acting on pure impulse and emotion, bcuz he didn't have time to think. Blitzø was going to be dead in a matter of seconds.

And Blitzø? He JUST figured out his complicated feelings for Stolas and now, he has to see him be killed? Of COURSE he's going to want to spill everything. Of course he's going to admit that he loves him! Of course he's going to fight to keep Stolas safe, bcuz even after all they went through, that's still someone Blitzø cares about. And did we forget the way he acts around the people he cares about? He NEVER wants to give them up. Look around Loonie, look at Millie, look at Moxxie. That is his family, and he loves then so much, and he never wants to let them go. And, he just found out, he feels the same about Stolas. It's not a sudden thing; we saw him progress like that throughout the series. We saw his reaction to losing Stolas in the Full Moon, Apology Tour, and Ghostf*ckers. This is just his reaction to everything that's been building up.

And they didn't talk about it bcuz, again, THEY BOTH THOUGHT THEY WERE ON THEIR DEAHTH BEDS. Stolas just lost everything. He lost his powers, he lost his home, he lost his daughter; and Blitzø isn't going to let someone he cares about suffer. So, he lets him stay at his apartment! And they're calming down. Talking about all their issues probably isn't even on their mind after what just happened.

I do think the issues are going to be brought up. Vivzie said that they're not done unpacking the things they've done wrong in their relationship, and I'm so excited for it. Like, it's happening right now. Stolas has always lived in a place where he was the most powerful demon and everything was built for him. But now, it's all gone. He can be treated like the scum of the Earth right now, with absolutely zero consequences. He has to live the life that Blitzø has been living, which is inevitably going to lead to the realization of his classism and how, even if he doesn't consciously look down on Blitzø, he does subconsciously. (Oughhh, the symbolism in Apology Tour of Stolas saying, "I don't look down on you!" While looking down at Blitzø-)

And don't think Blitzø is off the hook either! He had said a lot of awful things about Stolas in the Full Moon, and he literally made Stolas cry. He's kept very important secrets from Stolas, the first interaction they've had after 25 years was him lying and seducing Stolas just so he could steal his grimoire, he took Stolas out on a date and played with his feelings just so he could spy on M&M. There's just- so much shit. Like, Jesus, I've never seen a ship have this much they need to address, and I like Shadowpeach!

Just- they're defiantly not done with their relationship development. Things were just moving very fast, and emotions were everywhere. But, I do feel like they will all be addressed and talked aabout .

#stolitz #helluva boss #stolas goetia #stolas #helluva boss stolas #stolas helluva boss #blitz #blitzo #blitzø #helluva boss notes

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crumblinggothicarchitecture · 8 months ago

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Taylor Swift is Derivative nonsense, not intellectually placed allusions. I'll die on this hill, and I have many more examples beyond just the one listed below.

Let’s talk about the difference between being derivative and utilizing allusion in text. :)

I’ve seen a lot of defenses for Taylor Swift’s work that hinges on the theoretical concept of intertextuality. People don’t often know that they are arguing over the validity (or emotional impact) of intertextual cessions in Swift’s writing, but they are.

Intertextuality, if you don’t already know, is a set of determinable interwoven texts that all correspond on a particular thematic point. This encompasses, but is not limited to, the literary device of allusion.

There are many examples of intertextual works, since it is intrinsically post-modern. Yet, I want to talk about how Taylor Swift attempts allusions that only ever fall into flat-facing derivative blandness. I want to talk about how, yes, Swift is in the spirit of the age; yet her work devolves into derivative insincerity simply because she is not an artistic writer.

Now, for an egregiously bad allusion. (I think it’s worse because Romeo and Juliet is my favorite Shakespeare play). In “The Albatross” Swift writes, “A rose by any other name is a scandal” in which the obvious allusion is to Shakespeare's, “A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet” from the play Romeo and Juliet. The line in the play is often misquoted, so perhaps Swift is just ignorant, however the line means to draw attention to the fact that names are just words the that do not actually dictate the internal nature of someone.

The full line, from Shakespeare, reads “O be some other name/ What’s in a name? That which we call a rose/ by any other name would smell as sweet;/ So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d” (Romeo and Juliet). Thus, Juliet is lamenting the full divisive way in which her family is at odds with Romeo’s family; upon deeper consideration too, Juliet is modulating how social pressures, often outside our control particularly in youth, can impact and modify the discourse between reality, doing what is proper in accordance with the majority, and intrinsic human desire to fulfill our own needs. So, the line is not only explaining how Romeo and Juliet cannot be together overtly due to familial dispute, but in the same words it explains the full breadth of social dissertation for the pursuit of individual need. Afterall, he would still be Romeo "were he not Romeo call'd." Juliet is admitting that she would still love him with or without the constraint of social obligation due the environment, or family, in which we are born; thus, we can see how individually human desire can be placed at odds with the demands of mainstream society.

This is a nuanced conversation when considering it through moral theory. For instance, we often talk about how people should not go against the mainstream for immoral pursuit of individual desire and that is reasonable; yet herein Shakespeare's work the thematic point is on the morality of love and desire to go against social convention. Shakespeare is saying, "Love is a greater moral good than that of social obligation to follow tradition and to hate who you are trained to hate based on parental teaching." It's a genius fucking line, in a genius fucking play. Now, we all know how the play ends, the lovers run off together, they have a brief day in the sun. However, social pressure and adult obligation catch up to them again and thus they die for it. They die for their courage to love and to go against the mainstream.

Let’s return to Taylor Swift, the human embodiment of mainstream social pressure, as she writes that "a rose by any name is a scandal." As such, she is saying that all roses everywhere are just a scandal waiting to happen. If everything is a scandal, rather than speaking to any nuance grief to the pervasiveness' of social pressure to adhere to mainstream. Swift is simply throwing petulance to the world, by saying “Rose by any other name is a scandal” she limits what a rose could be, or become in using the verb “is” to fully solidify a rose as a scandal; which is a message that is diametrically opposed to the thematic point Shakespeare is making with his line. For Swift, there is no redemption, no nuance, and there is no subtext in which implicit messaging lay to tell people that going against the mainstream might just be the last thing you ever do but God is it worth it. To live with that brief day in the sun. And die for courage. Swift is just saying the opposite and stating that the mainstream is inevitable- there is no use in fighting it. A name is a name. It remains to tell the rose exactly what it is. Swift lacks imagination.

I would argue that Swift does make obvious attempts at allusion in her work, yet it is so poorly done because she does not actually see or use the thematic point of the source material from which she pulls her allusions. For allusions, to be done in an artistic impactful manner, we must keep to the thematic point of the source material. When the allusion is done correctly there is a “layering” effect in literature that redoubles the overarching themes of human experience in a way that calls us from the past, Shakespeare, to the present. Thus, is the theory of intertextuality in literary works.

(I made that bold because it's the main point of this, and I don't want anyone to miss it).

Taylor Swift’s work here simply does not measure up to anything artistic, thoughtful, or well-done. It is simply derivative of Shakespeare, but I don't think it qualifies as a true allusion.

#anti taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ex swiftie #ttpd #shakespeare #romeo and juliet #philosophy #moral theory #literary theory #literary criticism #english lit student #the albatross

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