#and my cat is cool and all. but she's not a people. she's just a cat.
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christinescupofcoffee Ā· 3 days ago
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old Cartoon Network cartoons, way back in the early 2000s
the quaint world of Steve Coogan (Night at the Museum, Alan Partridge, Around the World in 80 Days)
Alex and Christine (Seasons Grey). She is me, I am her, and I wrote the first chapters of Seasons Grey during a snowstorm so it gives me this cozy feeling thinking about it. šŸ˜‰
Lizzy Graves and Pete Steele (Like Loving the Dead). Toxic rebound relationship where she was cold and it demonstrates the cycle of abuse across relationships, which is a dynamic i feel works in Wuthering Heights but itā€™s sloppily done here because itā€™s portrayed as romantic. Author also has unnecessary resentment towards me.
Joey Belladonna and Lars Ulrich (now itā€™s dark). Humble Native American country boy with cool hip Danish guy Ć  la Men in Black. now itā€™s dark was my last adventure before the pandemic. Any questions?
Alex got hit in the head as a young boy which gave his silver streak which is magic. Heā€™s also hiding fangs behind his crooked teeth. šŸ©ø
Pretty much any sexual headcanon about James Hetfield. idk, they just gross me out.
Testament/Alex Skolnick trio/Dragonlord/Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Exodus, Death Angel, Death, any lesser-known grunge like from Mother Love Bone downwards (although the big four tags are weirdly quiet on ao3), Queens of the Stone Age, the Tragically Hip, 90s and 2000s alt rock, Alan Partridge/anything Steve touches, Mike Cutter/anything Linus touches, American Girls, Strawberry Shortcake; Iā€™m also the kind of person who goes onto classic rock pages and looks for bands and people you donā€™t really hear much about like The Clash, Jethro Tull, the Cars, Thin Lizzy, Robert Palmer, Syd Barrett, any old blues singersā€¦ I like wandering over to the theater pages and the ones revolved around books you donā€™t hear about like Turn of the Screw on ao3.
either Metallica, Green Day, Sherlock, Doctor Who, or Formula Oneā€”the latterā€™s a funny case, though. I watched it religiously from 2005-2012, with 2007 and 2009 being my favorite seasons. Quit watching before 2013 started because everyone I liked had either been fired or put in a bad spot, and then after Jules died, I started watching again, and 2016 gave me all the 2009 memories. I hate how Americanized, how loud, how ā€œall frosting with no cake underneathā€ it is now, and Iā€™m not alone in this, either: I canā€™t remember anyoneā€™s names after the 2016 season, the season is obscenely long now (when I was watching, it went from March to Halloween; now, itā€™s like the same length as a season of NASCAR), and I think it was Jenson Button who recently wrote about suffering from anorexia and had no one to talk to about it?
Probably Soundgarden.
I made a shirt with my Soundgarden cartoons ironed on it. For my 14th(?) birthday, my mom made me a Ferrari cake, and then for my 15th birthday, I got a BMW cake (Kimi RƤikkƶnen, Nick Heidfeld, and Robert Kubiča are/were MY GUYS, man). For my 16th, I got rice krispy Easter Island heads in a fondant airplane (for Stone Temple Pilots).
(really, how much time you got).
the grunge fandom
the grunge fandom
Supernatural. I LOVE Doctor Who, and I love Sherlock, but I always got lost on that one so I could never join ā€œSuperwholock.ā€ I have never fit in with the thrash fandoms, either: Iā€™m like the Radiohead of the thrash fandom.
Around the World in 80 Days, only because I think Steve is cute.
thelittlefatrat, who was this kickass artist on here who disappeared back in 2018. Has these incredible drawings of people like Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, Robert Plant, the guys from Guns ā€˜N Roses, Chris, Kurt, Scott, Layne, Eddie, and Chester, but also bunnies, snakes, and cats.
With Strings Attached, a Beatles fanfic dating back to 1980 and was completed in 2009. Itā€™s a fantasy story full of heart and humor and has ostensibly influenced everything Iā€™ve ever done thatā€™s long and fantastical. I also love Love in Exile, a Jerry Cantrell/Stone Gossard fic. I love foolā€™s gold by Cazio: donā€™t know anyone on the f1 grid anymore but huge influence on Like Blood from a Stone and (vaguely) Throughout the Dark Months of April and May. I love Audere est Facere by Natelly (I think thatā€™s how she spells her name?), which is about the origin of Ahkmenrahā€™s gold tablet: huge influence on All That Glitters. With Strings Attached, you can Google no problem; the author took down Love in Exile wanting to rework it to an original story. Sigh.
A fic on here called Thereā€™s a Light. Itā€™s mainly about Pearl Jam but itā€™s got the whole grunge scene involved. 10 years later, itā€™s still with me.
Can I say myself? There have been authors I love, authors who have inspired me so many times over, but I write the stories I love and think about regularly.
*looks around* kink tags. I hate to admit it and talk about it but thereā€™s a reason why I go back to kink stories and kinktober.
kink tags. Sometimes I feel like my hard limits are too hard and Iā€™m a major freak (and not in a good way). I also hate reader inserts because they just never look right to me.
7, i think? My friends and I liked to roleplay and tell stories about cartoon and book characters.
the time I made inktober drawings for when now itā€™s dark was going, and I posted them on instagramā€¦ and I was completely oblivious to the fact Joey was watching me. He would talk about me on Jamey Jastaā€™s podcastā€”and the week before my birthday, too! There was the time Testament took an after-show picture together and some guy in the comments made a remark about Alex having a potbelly, and I blurted out, ā€œI want to blow raspberries on it.ā€ About a week later, they were doing a v.i.p. shoot and Alex was covering up his belly with his arms and getting all kinds of giggly. I canā€™t stop thinking about it, tbh.
Fandom/fanfic asks!
Ahhh so many people are reblogging! I'm trying to send numbers to people but if I missed you, I'm sorry!
Send me questions in my inbox and I'll answer!
Reblog so I/others can send you numbers, too!
What is the first fandom you were ever a part of?
Most recent fandom you joined?
All-time favorite pairing?
Pairing that makes no sense to you?
Favorite platonic pairing?
Favorite headcanon?
Least favorite headcanon?
Fandom you're a part of that's the most obscure?
Fandom you're a part of that's the most well-known?
Fandom that you've spent the most money on?
Most unique merch you have for a fandom?
Craziest thing you've ever done as part of a fandom?
Fandom you've been a part of the longest?
Fandom you keep returning to?
Fandom you find annoying?
Fandom you'll probably end up joining?
Favorite blog(s) in your favorite fandom?
All-time favorite fanfic?
Fanfic you read again and again?
All-time favorite fanfic author?
Favorite fic trope?
Least favorite fic trope?
Age when you started reading fanfic?
Funniest fandom-related story?
Add any other questions as you reblog!
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somnimagus Ā· 1 year ago
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My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.
[id in alt text]
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bitchfitch Ā· 4 months ago
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I've started playing Potion Permit, and so far it's one of my favorite games I've messed around with, but the most big brained move the devs made was giving you a dog on day 1, and then making that dog able to track NPCs and lead you directly to them no matter where they are in the town.
#im still early game but i like the play and the writing is passable#like#Theres a flatness#the characters Are distinct but theyre mostly just their jobs#with only a few who stand out and have like. something to really grab onto#Like rue? rues entire deal is little girl you can date. Nothing else behind those eyes. She has nothing better to talk to you about#than the fact her favorite color is red#Sorcelia? Sorcelia is a goth nun who loves singing and teaches one of the village children#Reynerd? sure is a guy#got nothing else to say about him. hes just a Guyā„¢. Victor? Has ghost friends and loves bugs and cares deeply about the cemetery#he tends to. At the moment it feels like they're trying to imply there aren't actually ghosts. and hes just talking to himself/#insisting his imaginary friends are real people#and so far? The games been cool about it. Victor's a member of his community and his eccentricities are accepted and not ridiculed#all four characters ive mentioned are romance candidates. but its just as hit or miss with the regular towns folk#Opalheart is an older woman and a world renowned blacksmith who only takes jobs if they will do Good. regardless of whether or not they#pay well. She declines to make a dagger for a rich man but makes a helmet for a childs father bc the girl asked#and olive is here#anyways you can be best friends with a cat (shes just a regular cat) and i appreciate that#idk im putting it above sun haven in my ranking of life sim games#purely because there are older romance candidates.#no fat romance candidates. but sun haven doesn't have thise either.#and sdv has neither fat or old candidates Nor can you fuck a cat boy. it goes at the bottom.#gameplay wise sunhaven is at the bottom then sdv then potion permit at the top. sunhaven has the Mostā„¢ but having#a lot of crap doesn't mean its fun and it ends up making half the game feel really incomplete#idk. Sdv is a game you should've started playing a year ago. sun haven is a game that perpetually needs another year worth of updates#before id say its worth it bc the devs keep pushing content ā„¢ updates instead of quality of life or polish so what is there is uh#Bad. plentiful. and a large portion is good#but a Lot is just bad.#its insincere and cant take itself seriously it gives you (the right dialogue option) an (the shit joke option) which is worse than just#i ram out of space. tldr. potion permit is good Now. sdv Was good. sun haven Might be great Eventually
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starry-scarl3tt Ā· 2 months ago
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is this what addiction feels like
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thank you so much for every single person out there who is just as mentally deranged as i am, i love you with all that is left of my heart šŸ«¶šŸ«¶šŸ«¶ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
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icewindandboringhorror Ā· 10 months ago
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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bleeding-hart Ā· 10 months ago
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some sketches
based on @theicarusconstellation's writing
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I keep thinking of details I left out and stuff I need to fix but if I let myself do that I'm going to go insane so we're leaving it at this
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Also some Sirius because they're a fucking king and we love them (I very strongly hc them as genderqueer and using any pronouns, but specifically he/they/she/it)
The dress was a bit of a failure but hey it looks like fabric at least I think maybe
#fanart#marauders era#fanart of fanfiction#Sirius#A form of jegulus#Not sure if reg being an animagus is widely accepted Canon but I fucking accept it it's mine now and i will die on this hill#I DO however know that Sirius is generally accepted to have tattoos but unfortunately I'm shit at coming up with tat designs#I don't think there's a generally accepted list of what tattoos they have but if there is I would love to hear it#If not ig I'll just make something up#She probably has like. At least one wolf and dog one somewhere#Then definitely canis major#Idk how sappy they are but I want them to be one of those people who gets their friend group to draw hearts or stars and gets those tattooe#Also skeleton designs v much. I want them to have a cat skeleton on their hip in that curling position#Like the floaty cat#Maybe with a moon or star in the center#No real reason I just think he'd look fuckin awesome with it#He also probably has a really cool stylized semicolon on his wrist#I can't give him a koi/sun one cause that's mine and it doesn't fit then anyways#But definitely the top piece is the full moon symbolizing Remus#The bottom idk about but like maybe a squished up dog? Not like disproportionate I'm sure I could figure something out#Honestly they probably also have tats for each of their friends#I'm thinking a stylized deer under a full moon with the rat on it's head#or just prongs and moony w/ little bro between them#Brainstorming idk#If u read all that congrats I don't know why or what you got from it#Welcome to the live stream of my consciousness (you're missing not strong enough fucking BLARING in the background of all my thoughts)
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winter-hoof Ā· 30 days ago
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Simply not having a wonderful Christmas time. I was up all night last night because my dog got sick from a treat we gave her and was puking a bunch :(
#she seems to be doing fine today thank god. thought we were going to have to call the vet but she hasn't puked since 4:30am#and she's acting normal today & kept her food + water down. i 100% freak myself out & worry too much about everything#b/c i was like oh god what if she has a blockage i haven't seen her poop yet today even though my bf told me he saw her multiple times#so then i started googling about gi blockages in dogs & reading reddit posts of people whose dogs died or had surgery b/c of it#got myself WAY too worked up over it & was crying all night. then i went outside & watched her poop very normally at like 4am#so it's like ok clearly she's not blocked up & i'm just jumping to the worst case scenario like i tend to do about everything#DO NOT buy petsmart merry & bright treats. i'm so upset at myself for it. i was like oh haha treat shaped like a drumstick that's cute#but then reading reviews on their website so many of those treats have reviews from people saying they made their dogs sick#like oh cool i should have fucking read that before buying the treats i feel so stupid & bad like I KNOW BETTER wtf was i thinking#like i just would not be able to forgive myself if she had died from it or had to have a surgery to remove a blockage#but anyway thankfully she seems to be back to her normal self today although a little tired but not lethargic tired just regular tired#b/c we were up all night. she's back to herding the cats & barking at everything & all her usual goofy behaviors#actual thing i said last night: 'i lost my dad right before christmas i don't need to also lose my dog right before christmas'#p
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considerad Ā· 5 months ago
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šŸ’—šŸ’—šŸ’—šŸ’—šŸ’—šŸ’—šŸ’—šŸ’—šŸ’—šŸ’— you know that post about creating community if that's what you crave?
I made an enormous pile of choc chip cookies and I batched it out for our upstairs and downstairs neighbours, my ma and my great-uncle across town, and my granddad's old pal and his family, and I just got done delivering them and I feel like šŸŖ½šŸŖ½šŸŖ½šŸŖ½šŸŖ½šŸŖ½
so alight and alive with it all!!!! I love people! I love them!!! I am so full of fruit and phone numbers I probably won't ever call!
Life can be so unbearably sweet ā¤ļø
#I'm badly depressed so it was a rote mechanical baking exercise yesterday bc I've been meaning to bake sth as a housewarming present#for upstairs for like 2 years now. and they're always so nice to us. and they brought dates from the South with them this time#so I got to do it. finally. and their kid is a big k-pop stan so I got the šŸ‘€šŸ‘€šŸ‘€šŸ‘€šŸ‘€ stare from her but she's super sweet too#and I hope the next Korean she meets is more interesting/less of a fake lol#downstairs (young couple) was happy with me (I watched the cookies disappear in real-time)#my ma and I ate some at the old bazaar while cat-watching which šŸ‘Œ and then my great-uncle actually finished his!#and then late this evening I went over to the H's who are so chummy and sweet and kept me for an hour#and I got to meet everyone after like 2 years of Mr H telling me his daughter and I would be BFFs#(she's really cool. a single mom working in mech eng? here? the coolest literally)#sooooo yeah that's more socialising than I've done in 2024 put together. and all of them are people I like and wanted to connect with!!!#and I got to do it! I got to talk to all of them and all of them were just so lovely#food continues to be my way of prying the door open and it has yet to fail me :D#I feel whole. Finally. I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile with my waking hours.#and all it took was 300g of butter and a slab of chocolate. I got to know so many neighbours. it filled a void I've been sick from.#.........:) yeah.#thought
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cat-dragron Ā· 3 months ago
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I'm still so mad that August Kitko was such a mid book and like I would go do far as to say maybe it was bad but it's likely it just wasn't for me.
And then I read Hell Followed With Us and realize hey now... there's a lot of similarities between these two books and wow i am enjoying this other book way more. I almost want to dig into that and figure out why. Can you ever dislike something so much you want to take a scalpel to it and dissect it to find the bloody heart? Yeah that's what I'm feeling with August Kitko... it kinda sucks but I need to know why it makes me so mad.
#cat rambles#both books are about queer people at the end of the world#both are written by trans authors and yet the queerness is handled so differently#i just.... hell followed with us manages to really get into the world building and it feels alive despite most of hunanity being dead#akatmfs just... it feels so surface level and the more i think about thst book the more pissed off i get#i really wanted to like it SO BADLY AND YET I AM JUST SEETHING#i did finish akatmfs and i was just disaappinted at the ending#there are moments in hell followed with us that made me shriek out loud like OH SHIT ya know???#i like it when authors do interesting things with their medium#andrew joseph white does that so well with the spirit bears its teeth and with hell followed with us#ann leckie also does this well just with how she writes the characters and differing perspectives#akatmfs just.... even with two main characters it just doesnt do anything interesting with that#LIKE FUCK okay#chapter 1 is from gus's pov which is good! then chapter 2 is all from ardent's persepctive iirc#thats cool!!! i like different povs but then it just starts changing pov in the middle of yhe chapter and that just.... okay i guess#i thought you were setting up this cool rhing IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO COOL#theres a part where gus gets kocked the fuck out#imagine if instead of having thet dull ass conversation with Infinite the chapter was just kike a single line of him passed out and then we#snap back to ardent#THAT WOULD BE THRILLING#THAT WOULD BE SUSPENSEFUL BC WE DONT KNOW WHATLL HAPPEN TO GUS#but no we get thus dumb ass concersation between gus and infinite that i just disnt care for#i read it all and god i just rolled my eyes becasue of course the book reveals the mystery of where the Vanguards cane from so fast#maybe i just gotta write an essay about this idk#i have thoughts
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cuntwrap--supreme Ā· 5 months ago
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My dog has been having senior moments, such as randomly forgetting what she's doing or trying to walk into a street, and I've been calling her "Mr. President" when it happens.
Like, "No, Mr. President, we can't walk into oncoming traffic. That's how we get killed!"
#it makes me sad that she's so old. and it's only in the past couple months that she's been doing this.#she's still overall very physically healthy. we go on walks almost every day and as long as she wants to.#and she eats well and takes vitamins and her teeth are kept clean and her claws trimmed and her coat clean#but she's slipping a little mentally#she's 11 which is old as hell for a dog her size. the vet said golden retriever mixes (which is what i assume she is) usually live to 10.#and she's not even started going white too much. just around her snoot and a little on her paws.#so when i take her in the vet always assumes she's like 6#but I've had this crusty old lady since shortly before i was even legally an adult#and I'm scared for when she does die because my other dog dying damn near made me commit suicide#and like I've said. I've had her a lot longer.#if she were a person she'd be going into middle school. like.#and she's had her share of weird health things. she's had a thyroid issue since she was 4. she has a weird skin condition.#she's had a couple surgeries and has scars from being attacked by random dogs (not my fault. she's well trained)#she's fallen a couple times recently but the vet says that's normal for her age#she went blind then wasn't blind and is going blind again#her hearing is starting to get shit too#I'm just so worried about her. this dog is a person to me. she's more real than my family in my mind.#and my cat is cool and all. but she's not a people. she's just a cat.#i guess the best i can hope for her is she lives the rest of her life comfortably and can die peacefully in her sleep#i think I'd completely come unglued from reality if i lost another dog to surprise everything cancer#but that's what I'm most scared of#because it came on so quickly and no one caught it despite me being that person who takes their dogs to the vet over a cough#she's sleeping right now and making goofy ass dog dream sounds. and i know i won't hear that any more sometime soon.#dog#old dog#senior dog#clio#joe biden mention
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spaghett-onaplate Ā· 7 months ago
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i'm perusing court listings and the very first case i looked into is multimillion dollar fraud šŸ˜­ they can't all be this interesting surely
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unproduciblesmackdown Ā· 2 years ago
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love my own like theatrical relationship to shakespeare which is a) being so slow to realize like "oh, i've loved theatre? everyone doesn't just feel this way & go 'of course acting onstage would fucking kick ass' & adore rehearsals and hanging around backstage and in greenrooms and changing and performing & etc?' never really occurred to me" and b) my response to most encounters w/shakespeare being "wha" when it comes to anything granular yet the relevance still in the spirit of things lol
namely one prominent example being i was an on campus college student where said campus has a shakespearean theater literally three blocks away, and we had like a freshmen orientation weekly class there doing shit with actors and checking out the theater, not to mention like punchcards to see four shows free (to write up about afterwards but yeah sure whatever) and this wherein also you always got student discount tickets And there were pwyw performances....kicked ass. i went there for shows so many times. i have never fucking known what tf is going on in any of the like dozen shows i saw there when a) audio processing can be tricky enough for real life modern vernacular parsing and b) sure am not used to ye old very stylized language nor any other qualities of shakespearean material so lots of times when i finally started to kind of acclimate to the language it would be like "oh wait that was the conclusion? ok. hoorayyyyy" like also c) You Have A Great Time Seeing Shakespeare Productions Anyways like again i loved going anytime. it's Theatrical and if people are just putting their damn backs into delivering and performing the material it's An Experience even if you're really not following lmfao. and i suppose one can read the text / familiarize oneself beforehand
also like my first and really one of my only like regular theatre performing experiences was my literature class in fourth grade doing a few scenes from julius caesar. i was so hype for getting cassius like one of the most prominent roles? a guy? an antagonist if you're caesar or dante??? oh Fuck yes. b/c of technical difficulties we got to perform it twice in a row when we did a field trip to some other school to perform our respective [scenes from various shakespeare plays] altogether. even back then i was way into it and cared about stuff like "we have like no Effects to make it that dramatic when we kill caesar. or like, non silent. bit awkward" and "also i like, don't know how to act and am just winging it. and of course, i'm also like 9" like in theory i do like to know How to do something vs trying to make it up myself. somewhat lol. a balance, who can argue w/that
beyond that there's also lots of things i just didn't quite realize "counted" lmfao like, when you're a theatre gay with a parent req'ing you go to church every week but you have a good time being in the choir....i was sure on those tenor harmonies & singing loud. and going relatively often to various live theatrical events, having an engaging enough time there, but also would've assumed anyone would be into it And that that's not really the same as actually being in them, of course. but that most of my firsthand experience was just sticking w/ballet for like a decade, and kind of live theatrical performance adjacency there. don't say shit, for years was effectively just like, an ensemble for the occasional performances, but even then it's like hoorayyy i Love rehearsing and being onstage and backstage and dealing w/costumes and coordination behind the scenes and shit. and eventually being like, a distinct individual character in shows, so despite again nobody saying shit you're still somewhat interpreting and doing whatever character work while also enjoying the bennies of [it's dance, so also it's choreographed]....even more clear like oh i love backstage and rehearsing and behind the scenes and onstage and putting together stage character makeup, and i don't mind tackling technical difficulties, and etc etc. didn't even necessarily have the reference like, idk, wouldn't / doesn't everyone feel similarly. classic ye old memory of like being idfk 7 or some shit simply getting to walk with classmates behind a backdrop to the opposite wing of a stage, and loving that lmao. combines a love for [backstage] and [secret passages] type deal lol, big fan of these elements
also in 7th grade doing a theatre/drama class for a few months and we couldn't really get like all this in depth extensive stuff b/c you know, intro course for like 8 weeks for rando middle schoolers, but idk it was just illustrative lmao like after julius caesar, us slapping together some kind of script and my getting to be this fun little theatrical(tm) antagonist guy again? feedback was "what was supposed to be happening" but could've stood to have learned that the enthusiasm and affinity i felt for acting onstage was perhaps indicative of enthusiasm and affinity for acting onstage rather than just, idk, the exact kind of baseline experience any & everyone would have lol. not that i would've necessarily had the chance to really do anything with that knowledge, but even now, ofc i don't particularly anticipate getting to use it, but it's great having that knowledge like ohhh i see. the entire time i've been huge into doing theatre with all these kind of adjacent & gently overlapping brushes with it. gotcha
#an issue with Figuring Out What I Like or Trying New Things; a) having to be driven everywhere#b) just not safe to be open with ''this is something i like doing''#c) things being worse for like [i like doing this performance i don't like that parents are in the audience / involved]#didn't try out for anything in middle school b/c a) nervous. no experience; it's middle school. i don't have a great time w/Peers.#b) i'd have to let parents know i was doing that / they would then be involved; & see it....puts a real damper on things#didn't try out for anything in college b/c by then it's like. i Really have no experience lmao even if i could do this myself#kind of only deterred by my same age roommate being A Theatre Person with that prior experience lol....#but then Shakespeare Theater Company Proximity & Everyone Getting Introduced Via That Class / another kind of tangential theatre experience#hell yes....thank you for all that you did. dunno what's going on in there but you truly have a great time#even just Readings are fun but again people Gotta put their back into it or it does become like [zzz]#anyways and in this day and age....would still like to have actual acting instruction. all an abstract idea. but i for sure Like To Know.#the Ideas / Knowledge of oneself & like ''oh that's smthing i super like actually'' or what all i'd even theoretically like to do / have...#value in such things. i love to Know i think it would be cool to have like a buttonsy digital / calculator type wristwatch too. e.g.#and for real besides me talking about myself the advice is yeah go to a fun shakespeare production#''knowing what the hell is actually going on'' is Not a priority / requirement. it'll be an enjoyable experience still#oh and i did have an achievement in having A Fan once lol. when i started getting standalone roles vs [class ensemble in the back] at one#point i got to have a cats (jellicle) inspired like purple sparkly arms/legwarmered elaborate facemakeupped role; fun in & of itself#but whomsoever came to this little like middle/highschoolers community production included some absolute randos i encountered in the hall#after whatever show where this like 8 yr old kid's dad was like ''she's your (the role) biggest fan can we get a pic''#like Of Course....so i pose with said kid. hell yeah babey i'm An Actor with A Role lol....fr it was fun so#even illuminating to piece together my affinity / comfort for concepts & zones like things Behind The Scenes / hidden or secret / Nighttime#being backstage or behind the backdrop to get to another wing or hanging out in an effective greenroom w/amicable parties & our roles....#oh and that naturally the abstract concept of acting has just always seemed fun. and not like that strange or difficult#someone talking abt being autistic & learning like ''oh having friends Isn't supposed to feel like you have to constantly be performing?''#like yeah same up til recent history lmao like. lot of ways to simply already have a bit of organic training in acting lol#would still want some more actual training though lol like how do you do this shit Actually....got the essentials in fourth grade (be loud)#fr we didn't have mics of course so it was all just up to us to say our lines loud enough. couldn't actually hear other scenes [pensive]
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loadsofcats Ā· 2 years ago
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Have a feeling that, if more of you read Riders of the purple sage by Zane Grey, youā€™d be going mad over Lassiter
#the puns with his surname would be insufferable it sometimes sneaks up on me#i love him very dearly#both him and jane#Jane for being exactly who she is; stubborn kind welcoming and seemingly dumb but actually quite clever#she has a ranch all to herself#and for lassiterā€¦ā€¦ his name is Jim. I was not expecting that#secondly heā€™s from texas and now i had to figure out how texans speak.#this one also sneaks up on me because i did not earlier have a) a realisation that texan accent Does Exist so i remembered thatā€™s a thing#too and b) i did not ususally connect texan accent with cool people (sorry but i only ever heard it once in a blue moon from tv)#anyway I love him very much because in the first chapters he comes all like ā€œYes. The Black cowboy it is me. I am very dangerous.#Jane I will protect you and your friend.ā€ and then he does and#Jane later invites him for dinner and the man justā€¦ dissolves into a puddle with heart eyes on it like ā€œoh iā€¦ really miss#it is a-a-alright; you donā€™t have to invite me for dinner [insert that emotional crying cat] Lassiter can survive just fineā€#Heā€™s twirling his hat all that time in his hands like a nervous teenager#I mean he comes there all strong and brooding and whenever Jane speaks he just. Melts. Babygirl really#he goes to retrieve Janeā€™s cattle he loses his horse in the process!!!#and he still stays! Even when Jane tries so hard to deter him from killing who he came to kill hes like ā€œoh well. Guess Iā€™ll stay here unti#youā€¦ change your mindā€ and Janeā€™s like ā€œI will not change my mindā€. And he goes#ā€œOh well ill stay anyway you need help managing a farm on your ownā€ and he just stays to ā€œhelpā€#i could write paragraphs about Jane as well but this is a Lassiter appreciation post <3#book#books#it talks#tag edition#riders of the purple sage#zane grey
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lastoneout Ā· 10 months ago
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Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.
I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.
I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.
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cat-dragron Ā· 3 months ago
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Going from Ancillary Sword into August Kitko and the Mechs from Space is such like... whiplash to my brain. Ancillary Sword was challenging to read in a way I wasn't expecting but man was it rich as hell, the depth of the worlds and characters in that book are insane. Meanwhile reading AKatMfS is like... the premise is so cool and seems right up my alley but something about the writing is just not gelling with me for whatever reason. I want to get through this book so badly because I am interested but like... part of me is just wondering is this it?? Is this all there is to it?
#cat rambles#spoiler talk in the tags now because I'm just thinking about this too much#like... I think around the same points in either book is when the big bad is revealed or like... shows up more prominently I think#and in AJ it's like FUCK that's Anaander Mianaai and holy SHIT she's such a huge threat but she's really only a threat to the main characte#she doesn't become a bigger civil war threat until a lil later and thats like god damn okay now people are really dying because of that#then in AKatMfS the threat is humanity ending like it wants the humans to go extinct and like SHIT that's pretty intense and it wants#humanity's knowledge and memories and shit which thats cool!! I enjoy that!!#Why the fuck does that not feel like as intense of a threat in my mind as like... the Lord of the Radchs????#it's weird... it's so weird because I WANT to enjoy this book I really do#it reminds me of pacific rim in all the good ways but also it just like doesn't go over the details I'm really interested in#and maybe it's just that I'm not as into Gus and Ardent as main characters as I am Breq but then again how the fuck do you top Breq#i also don't think it helps that the creator of the mechs/what is killing humanity was revealed so fast in AKatMfS#Like I started reading that chapter and.... I felt udnerwhelmed???#the twist was kinda neat like we've known about this AI since the beginning parts of the book#but idk.... it's like.... okay... AI knows it's going to be archived once it's no longer useful bc it was built on the corpse of its#predacessor and THATS INTERESTING!!! I LIKE THAT!!! so why then does it feel like such an old cliche#maybe I just gotta read more but I just feel... underwhelmed I guess for lack of a better term#fucking mitchells vs the machines did this shit and that had so much heart in it#back to the pacific rim comparison#this book is also about climate change and war and how bad humanity is and like???? fuck man.... idk do you have anything else to say#besides humans do bad shit and are unredeemable???#I'm sure it does I'm like so sure it does but god#anyways at least I get to read another Andrew Joseph White book after this :]#sunk cost fallacy has my ass unfortunatley#wow this got to be long
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faultyconscience Ā· 10 months ago
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Me: damn I wish I had more irl friends
Me at any social function: I would like to leave now pls
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