#and my brother ate all my pringles

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Reunited

Summary:  After being deployed for 8 months, you return home to surprise your family.

Warning: Alternative Universe - No modern setting, fluff and angst, reader is the military and Natasha is a military wife, mention of violence/death, no usage of Y/n 

Word count: 2.3k 

‘The girls made sure to pick out loads of snacks for you and the crew. So make sure you share. There is something for your eyes only so please keep that to yourself. I countdown the days until you are home. All my love.’ You smiled as you reread the letter from your wife two more times. For the past 5 months, you survived on these letters and short phone calls from your family back home. You loved serving your country, it was the greatest honor but a wife and two kids at home made it harder to leave. “Is that from the misses?” Clint asked. You took the other envelope out before he took the box from you.

“Of course it is,” Maria said, joining Clint as he dug through the box. She chose a small can of Pringles. “Look at that smile.” You rolled your eyes, used to the teasing from them.

“Is this for us to share?’ Bucky asked, walking up behind you and grabbing the envelope in your hand.

“Hands to yourself, Barnes,” you said, placing the envelope in your pants pocket for later. “We all can’t be lucky enough to serve with our partner.”

“Ain’t lucky for us,” Maria mumbled, throwing a package of nerds to you. “Especially when you walk in on them.” Bucky’s ears turned pink but he shrugged his shoulders. He took a bag of trail mix. This was one of the reasons you hated the thought of retiring. You found a family amongst the men and women you served with. You were part of an elite group of soldiers that the US government sent in for Black Op missions. Under the command of Nick Fury, the team consisted of you, Maria Hill, Clint Barton, Bucky Barnes, and Steve Rogers. They were your brothers and sister but you could not wait to be home.

*

‘Everyone loved the snacks you picked out for them. I’m pretty sure they ate more of them than me. I told a local jewelry maker about you and the girls and how much you mean to me. So she made me three moon necklaces and a sun for me. She said it symbolizes that even though we aren’t together physically I’m always with you and you are with me. Similar to how the moon and sun can’t exist without each other, I’m not me without you. I can’t wait to be home with my girls. All my love.’ Natasha finished your letter. She wanted to reread it but Rose and Hailey were excitedly waiting for her to put the necklaces on. So she did. Once the clasp was in place, they kissed her on the cheek and ran outside to join the other kids. It was a spring day and the Romanoff house was filled with people, food, and laughter. Natasha sighed, stood up, and walked into the kitchen. Laura was there, cutting up a watermelon. “How was the letter?” She asked.

“It was nice hearing from her,” she held up her necklace. “Mind putting this on for me?” Laura nodded, taking the necklace and looking over the charm.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, placing it around Natasha’s neck. Laugher pulled the two mothers to look out of the kitchen window and out into the backyard. They watched as Cooper picked up Rose from behind and threw her into the pool. It was moments like this that Natasha wished you were home to witness them in person and not as a video or photo. Natasha would always support you and she knew you were doing great things but she missed you. Each deployment never got any easier. Laura sighed, putting the freshly cut watermelon into a bowl.

“It never gets easier, does it?” Natasha asked, looking at her friend.

“No,” Laura whispered. “I’m afraid it doesn’t.”

*

The party was over and the house was quiet. When it was quiet, it was hard for Natasha to mask how much she missed you and your absence affected her. She sat in bed with a photo album in her lap. She seemed to get sentimental whenever you sent a letter. Natasha worked at a gym as a personal trainer and Clint, who was a mutual friend, recommended you to try it out. As the story goes and a fact you liked to remind Natasha, she hated you. She thought you were cocky, arrogant, and annoying. But you were persistent and determined to break down Natasha’s walls. It worked and she was grateful you were patient and understanding. She grew up in the foster care system, bouncing between homes. Now she had everything she dreamt of as a kid; a wife that loved her, beautiful girls, and a house filled with love.

The bedroom door slowly opened and saw Rose and Hailey holding onto their stuffed animals. “What’s wrong, printsessy (princesses)?” Natasha asked, noticing their blotchy cheeks from their tears.

“We miss Mom,” Rose whispered. “Can we sleep in here?” Natasha smiled, placing the photo album on the nightstand.

“Come here,” she held open her arms as the twins climbed onto the bed and settled in on either side of her. Now that they were closer, Natasha saw it was the Build-A-Bears you got for them with a recorded message for their birthday.

“When will she be home?” Rose asked.

“Soon, moya lyubov' (my love),” Natasha kissed her head. The real answer was 4 more months.

“Do you think she’ll bring us another gift?” Hailey asked. It made Rose laugh so Natasha let the comment slide.

“I bet she will. Now let’s get some sleep.” The girls climbed underneath the covers and cuddled up against Natasha. “I love you, my sweets.”

“Love you too, mama.”

*

“Thank you for picking me up,” you said to Wanda. “I wanted to surprise Nat.”

“It’s no problem,” she smiled. “I almost had a heart attack when your name popped up on my phone.” You chuckled. You were home 2 months early. Usually, Natasha would be waiting for you at the airport with the girls and the signs they made. Instead, you called Wanda, your next-door neighbor. She and her husband, Vision, had twins of their own. Vision was in the military as well but was stationed locally in the cyber division. “Do you want me to record it?” Wanda asked. “I do love those military reunion videos on YouTube. They make me cry every time.

“That would be great,” you cried watching those videos as well. But right now you were focused on not throwing up all over Wanda’s car. Your leg was bouncing, you were so nervous.

“Hey,” Wanda said, pulling down the familiar neighborhood street. “It’s okay. She and the girls missed you.”

“I think I’m gonna throw up.” You admitted.

“Well don’t do that,” she deadpanned. “I just got the car detailed.” Her joke caused a momentary break in your anxiety and you laughed.

“Thank you for that,” you said as she parked the car in the driveway. You looked at your home. The driveway was covered in artwork from the girls and the plants had newly planted plants, that you knew Melina helped Natasha. Your wife did not have a green thumb. You got out of the car with your duffle bag over your shoulder. Wanda was right behind you as you rang the doorbell. You shifted on the balls of your feet as you waited. You’ve been pinned down by enemy fire, watched a van blow up right next to you, and had to administer first aid to save a falling soldier. But as you waited for the door to open, you were so nervous, terrified. Finally, the door opened and there she was, dressed in her typical workout outfit - black leggings and an oversized graphic T-shirt. Her red hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. “Hi,” you whispered.

*

Natasha had to be dreaming, right? There were 2 more months left of your deployment so why were you standing in front of her? With no sign of injury and wearing your off-duty uniform. You were here. You smiled, chuckling. “I haven’t seen you this shell-shocked since the day I asked you to marry me.” You teased her. Your small jab pulled her out of her trance. She dropped her pre-work bottle to the ground and ran over to you. You dropped your duffle bag to the ground and caught her in your arms. The force made you stumble slightly but you stayed on your feet. “Your home,” she mumbled against your neck. Her voice shook with emotion.

“I’m home, baby,” you said. “I’m home.”

*

“Rose and Hailey Romanoff,” the camp counselor called into the small gym. “Your mom is here to pick you up.” Her name made Hailey look towards the door and the small pause got her out of the small dodgeball game.

“You're out Romanoff!” Eric called out.

“That doesn’t even count,” Hailey said, walking over to the sideline where Rose was sitting. “I was distracted.” Rose giggled.

“You're so competitive for no reason,” she teased her sister. Hailey rolled her eyes. “Do you think we have a doctor’s appointment?” Hailey shook her head as the followed the counselor out of the gym and down the hallway of the school.

“Mom is usually good at reminding us. Maybe babushka (grandma) and dedushka (grandpa) came for a surprise visit.” Hailey loved her grandparents especially when she convinced Alexei to wrestle with her. Rose smiled.

“Or maybe Auntie Yelena came with Fanny and Lucky.”

“What about Aunt Kate or do you like Lucky more than her?” Hailey joked, watching her sister blush.

“You know that’s not-” The words died on her lips as they rounded the corner.

“What’s wrong?” Hailey looked away from her sister to the normal check-in and check-out area, expecting to see Natasha but no. She saw you.

“Mom!” They cried out, breaking out into a full sprint towards you. You knelt as they collided with you.

*

‘My girls,’ you thought as you hugged them. They looked so much like Natasha, fiery red hair and Rose had your eye color. Their heart was beating so fast, mimicking the speed of a hummingbird’s wings. You felt their tears on your neck. You looked over their shoulders and saw Natasha, tears in her green eyes. But she refused to let them fall. “What are you doing here?” Rose asked.

“Finished the mission early,” you said, pushing tears off her face.

“Did-did you beat the bad guys?” Hailey asked, refusing to get out of your arms. You didn’t mind, you’d hold them forever.

“Of course, I did, sweetheart,” you kissed her head. “Come on, let's go home.” You groaned as Hailey still refused to let go.

“Actually,” she said. “Can we get ice cream?”

*

“Are you watching the videos again?” You looked away from your phone and saw Natasha stepping out of the bathroom, wearing an old training shirt of yours and sleeping shorts. You placed your phone on the nightstand.

“You know if we post those videos with sad music,” you sat at the edge of your bed, parting your legs so Natasha could stand between them. “We could go viral.”

“Oh really?” She questioned. You hummed, kissing her stomach through the cotton shirt, and rested your hands on the back of her thighs. Natasha used her pointer finger underneath your chin and forced you to look up at her. She traced the slope of your nose and the bags underneath your eyes.

“Were you telling Hailey the truth when you said you stopped the bad guys?” You grabbed her hand and kissed her palm.

“We did,” you whispered. You never spoke about what you did overseas. Some of the missions were classified and you didn’t want to haunt the dreams of your family. “But some civilians didn’t make it.” She nodded, kissing your forehead and leaving her lips there. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of her lips. “How long do we have until the girls come in?” She smirked.

“Not long enough so get your mind out of the gutter,” you pouted as she turned off the main light and you got into bed. “They’ll be at camp tomorrow and I’ll be all yours.” She said, settling in next to you and resting her head on your chest. You tightly wrapped your arms around her.

“I’ve missed this,” you whispered, taking a deep breath in her vanilla lotion. You felt her tears stain your shirt but you didn’t draw attention to them. You let her cry until you heard her quiet sniffles. It was your turn to lift her chin with your finger. “Do you want me to retire?” You asked. Her green eyes widened, a little red from her tears.

“You're too good at what you do,” she whispered. She was right in a way. You were an excellent marksman, hostage negotiator, and interrogator. But someone could replace you. Fury always had soldiers in mind to join the team. “You’ve saved so many people.”

“But I’m missing so much here,” you said against her lips. “I would need to do one more and I can be done with full benefits.”

“Okay,” she said, fully connecting your lips. You loved kissing Natasha. Her lips were soft and warm against yours.

“Okay,” you said. “I love you.”

“Love you more.”

*

When you woke up, Rose and Hailey were cuddled between you and Natasha. They were holding the Build-A-Bear stuffed animals you got them. You smiled, kissing both of their foreheads. Serving this country wasn’t worth missing. Your girls were your world. You needed to be home not across the sea in another country. “Mommy,” Rose mumbled.

“What’s up, baby?” She turned around to face you. Her eyes were barely open.

“I don’t want you to leave again,” she said, cuddling up against you. You closed your eyes, feeling tears swell.

“I know. One more,” you promised. “One more then I’m done.”  

[promptsbytaurie]

dialogue prompts based off random items i found in my room (part I)

"You know what this space needs? A bulletin board. With pictures."

"Hah, yeah. My mom made that blanket."

"You do not need this many trophies displayed."

"I didn't know you played volleyball."

"Ooh, a diary. You got all your little secrets in there?"

"You have a concerning amount of books."

"I used to have a stuffed animal like this."

"I've counted three Coke cans and I haven't even looked at your desk yet."

"Oh my god, you were so cute as a kid!"

"You drew this?"

"You have a list of all of your friends? Wow, that's narcissistic ... uh, why are there only three?"

"Oh, I used to love this book."

"A mini fridge?? Are you rich?"

"Speaking to an empty room. Hah. Now I'm going insane."

"Huh. Nice photo. ... We were happier back then, weren't we?"

"You own a concerning amount of snow globes."

"Why is your bed so big?? You're like, three feet tall."

"I found a Kit Kat. Hope it wasn't expired because I just ate it."

"Have you heard of curtains?"

"No wonder you're so angry all the time. I would also be angry if the neighbors liked mowing their lawn at five in the morning."

"There are seven Pringles cans in your trash. Are you okay?"

"I've never seen you wear makeup??"

"Secret stash of candy. Classy."

"Look, I'm just saying, this space needs a little pizzaz, y'know?"

"Do you think your brother would be mad if I sat on his bed?"

"There is dog hair everywhere."

"Are all of these journals full??"

"'Do not enter.' Skull emoji. Did you seriously print out a sign for your door?"

"You don't have a lock on your door??"

"Can I just say... love the giant self-portrait from third grade. Not creepy at all."

[mindfulcuppa]

Dipped in Foreign Lands; An Exercise in Image Storytelling

The beginning of an offering of consolidated thoughts, photos, slices of life in between rocks, more photos, and general going.

Preface.

With an elongated farewell, a month passed before I departed the country. This time wasn’t spent finding accomodation, or sorting bank cards as it probably should have been. No, instead there was lots of relaxing, music, surfing, watching the NBA playoffs and organising of the hoards gathering dust in my parents cupboards. It wasn't until the final 2 days that the urgency of packing life into a bag for the foreseeable future became a priority. 

It was done though, thanks to my loving housemates who provided a ‘jacpac’ for its potential to be filled. 2 jackets, 6 t-shirts, 2 brother-made garments, 2 shirts, 2.5 pairs of shoes, 2 cameras, a recording kit (regrettable now…), synthesiser (also marginal…), 400 leaves of paper, and a whole lot of other possessions that I probably didn’t need to pack. I felt sad to think of time apart from some things, but their absence will drift like the main themes of Toy Story (1998). 

I write this now sitting at a glass dining table enclosed in a small house-in-progress situated on a piece of land in Almagreira. There are dogs barking next door, and many flies darting around the area. It has been 2 weeks since leaving Aotearoa, so I would like to tell you how I have been, and how it’s being seen. Through the lens of a digital camera (and the occasional iPhone pic).

1 Melbourne

As early birds get worms, I had an early flight to Naarm on 01/06/2023. Melbourne waited a bounty of friends, sandwiches, musical sharing, long walks, and pizza. A social extension on a Friday saw our Mouthfull ‘Live at Capers’ residence with a jovial group of deejays providing a space for listening, dancing - and a great meeting point for people to come together over some Mastika & Moussaka worthy of a trophy made of pure 1 million carat gold.

Tyler and I would also have so much fun playing songs on the radio for breakfast over 2 days (links below for listening). For breakfast we ate toast with avocado and tomato, and for breakfast radio we listened to a mixture of jazz, folk, new wave, ambient, worldly music with a sprinkling of a few classic ballads of course.

Sleeping on the sofa was comfortable after some cushion amendments and some wine. We would spend our days walking and talking in Carlton North, relaxing and imagining. Our best meal together was from the Sri Lankan spot, Citrus, where you can find a banquet of vegan smorgasbord for $15.

Once the event was said and done, a recovery in the mornings light was aided with a walk to the felafel shop to meet again with Olive. Hearing of her news in between bites brought great happiness and love.

The following day, I met with Poppy. We were to find a place in Brunswick for a coffee; opting for some breakfast too at Kines. While we were there, I would think of Denzel for his obsession with the cafe. His voice would riddle through echoes from the past. After our breakfast, we walked up and down, crossing Sydney road 3 times, turning corners, and entering discount food stores to browse the obscure flavours of pringles and chocolate. The day was hot and the walk long. Navigating our bodies to Ceres we rummaged through bike parts and found entertainment in a cat in the chicken coup. It was a pleasant walk, except the moderate panic when I left my jacket on a park bench with all money and devices embezzled in the pockets.

After all the catching up, walking, wandering; I caught a train down to Torquay to visit an old friend, Isabelle. It was strange down there considering last time was around 5 years ago staying in a resort not dissimilar to vaudeville. However, we would go for a long walk to discover an amazing mosaic sundial (designed by artist Claire Gittings - whom I have no known lineage to - but am probably related somehow). 

With conversations over a cafe breakfast of my conviction against mining, we would enjoy each others' company in a true taurus manner. I would stay in her house near Marshall and meet her love, and we would have a Spanish soup next to a brazen colour changing fire in a brazier. A casket of red wine was ordered for $10 and delivered promptly, while it wasn't exactly even middle of the road it was a fine drink.

Finally, a pizza evening at Leonado's with Harrison & Andre. Some of the best pizza you will try, the Italian community in Carlton is a reliable source. Twas a welcome carbohydrate to carry forward into the nights digestion on what was to be my last night in Naarm. I bought Tyler a Toblerone to thank him for my stay, and the constant trickling of happy travel wishes would soon be finished with a final embrace.

And so it was, as it was, an extended layover in a city being taken over by sandwich shops and wine bars. It was to be the takeoff point to the north, an expansion to signify the changing of place from previous programming. The world outside was luminous and the air filled with a freshness known to mother nature so much more well than ceiling fans.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

[itspeanutlove]

Im genuinely appalled right now. Absolutely aghast. Flabbergasted, even. My family bought four pringles in the grocery store, two green (for my brother) and two red (for me). Our usual way of dividing things. He ate all of his while I saved mine to eat for when I got the craving to eat chips.

But then. But then. After waiting for my grandparents to leave the kitchen and head to their bedroom for THREE HOURS, after spending ten or so minutes in the dark fumbling about to find the snack cabinet, you know what I find? NOTHING.

This bastard, this 10 year old gremlin of a child, has eaten all the pringles while I was out doing something. This creature. This FIEND has betrayed me and everything I stood for. He took the green and the red and broke our sacred divide.

So you know what? Fine. Let him be this way. Lets see how he feels when he wakes up the next day to find the chocolate milk all gone. Vanished. Consumed by none other than me. I have finished four cups of chocolate milk by the time I write this post. By dawn there will be none left.

This is revenge

[fictiontxt]

Thick Skin

I went to the Philippines when I was ten. When we landed the air was thick and sticky, causing my hair to frizz up. The extra skin on my body that my mom considered “baby fat” was still attached to my stomach and arms. It was my first time visiting my extended family. I greeted everyone with a shy smile and made sure to “mano po” all my elders. The first time I saw my grandmother, she was sitting on the bed in her room. Her movements were slow and weak, her voice was frail. “She’s fat” was the first thing my grandmother said as I approached her. My mom gestured for me to give her a hug. As I hugged her I became more aware of the fat on my body that she was touching. She positioned me so that I was sitting on her lap. With my feet still touching the ground, I subtly put more weight on my toes so that she would not feel how heavy I was. She didn’t say anything else to me, just continued talking to my mom in their native tongue as I sat in her lap. 

The humidity made it so that I was unable to wear anything but shorts and tank tops. I noticed the fat near my armpits more when I wore tank tops. My cousins and I were all around the same age. We communicated with each other through my broken Tagalog and their broken English. They took me to the neighborhood convenience stores called “sari-sari” stores where we would pick out different candies and drinks to try. On our walk home, there was a group of kids standing on the side of the road. One yelled out “fatass”,  the voice was followed by a flood of laughter from the rest of the kids. I did not look in their direction, but I never questioned who the comment was directed to, as I was always the largest one in groups. When we came back to eat our snacks, I made sure not to finish mine so that my cousins would not consider me matakaw, or gluttonous. 

My dad had a friend that he wanted to visit. We went on a two hour road trip with just my parents and brothers where we filled the truck with snacks. I carelessly ate the bags of chips and drank the different sodas as I no longer felt as though I had anyone watching. The roads were bumpy and the drivers were aggressive. I was told to keep the windows closed, but every now and then the smell of petrol would hit my nose. When we arrived at my dad's friend's house, she giggled and joked about my weight. I began crying. She tried comforting me through hugs, a form of comfort I now learned to hate. My parents said ���it’s okay, she just means you’re healthy”. 

On the plane ride home, the stewardess offered us Pringles. I watched my brothers eat their chips while simultaneously playing on their gameboys, leaving the buttons with a greasy residue. I left my chips unopened.

[vintagedolan]

mint chocolate

you’ve been in love with ethan since the early days of your childhood friendship, but what happens when it’s too late to tell him?

word count: 5k

warnings/tags: fluffy fluff lets go ladies

also shoutout to @gloriousgrant​ for this request, ily bby!!

feel free to send in requests! and check out my masterlist if you wanna :)

An elephant’s memory. That’s what your mom had always said - you had an elephant’s memory. Never forgot a detail, a friend, a face. Which is why you could still remember the first halloween party you ever got invited to, all the way back in preschool, as clearly as you could remember what you had for breakfast yesterday.

You didn’t remember the party though, but that was because you didn’t go. It had been a simple decision once you’d found out from eavesdropping on the mom gossip that only 33 of the 35 kids from your class had gotten the cute personalized invitations in the mail. 

Your four year old self said it best - “If etee and gray aren’t going, I’s not going.”

You didn’t realize until you were older that you words had made Lisa cry, overwhelmed and grateful that her boys had a friend at school when everyone seemed to be against them. So, she’d decided to make it the best halloween that she possibly could for her kids, and for you. 

And thus, over way too much sugary candy, smores, trick or treating and the watchful eyes of your mom and Lisa, the trio was born on Halloween night, 2004.

The three of you held strong through elementary school - sat next to each other until the teacher separated you for talking too much, shared your lunches every day. Lisa would even send an extra piece of candy on Friday’s for you in Ethan’s lunch - little pieces of mint chocolate that they kept at the salon for clients. Recess was always your favorite time, because the boys were wild, always finding something more fun than the playground equipment, like trees to climb or hills to roll down. You were fine with that - there were too many kids on the playground anyways. And when little scrawny David tried to kiss you at the top of the slide Ethan shoved him down, getting himself time out for the next three days.

You sat with him in the mulch every day until he was allowed to play again. 

Middle school was where the bumps in the road came along. Grayson went, in his mother’s words, ‘girl crazy’, and in his brother’s words, he ‘became a player’. Turns out, middle school girls don’t trust their boyfriends to have girl best friends, and Grayson fell into the trap, desperate to people please and get a date to the dance. Every time he broke up with them he’d come back, apologize, want to be your friend again, and you let him, because you loved him, even if he was a dick sometimes. 

Ethan was another story. Sure, he had a few 6th grade girlfriends who constituted an after school hug as a date, but the first negative thing they said about you had him bounding down the hallway to your locker to reassure you that he was, once again, a ‘single pringle’.

With Grayson off having Lisa drive him and the girl of the month to the fro-yo shop twice a week, it left space for you and Ethan to get even closer than you already were. You took stupid pictures on his families computer, edited them to high heaven with the strongest contrast and put stupidly fonted “<3″ and “bffz foreva” all around your faces, set them as your blackberry backgrounds. You watched movie reruns and renamed the characters and talked about how Ethan wanted to be an actor someday. You played hide and seek in the Dolan’s backyard, always giving away your hiding spot when one of you got too spooked and ran to the other one. You were allowed to spend the night if you stayed in the living room, which meant you took the couch, Ethan took the floor, and usually Grayson ended up curled up in the recliner, wanting to be a part of the fun once he got home and realized he was missing out. 

Things got worse in 8th grade. The bullying was incessant with the boys growing popularity on vine, and since the three of you were always seen as a unit of sorts, you got pulled into it. There were so many jeers in the hallways that you couldn’t keep track of them. The trio reunited, Grayson clinging to you as one of the few friends he could trust. It became texts of ‘lets eat lunch by the band room, no one will bother us over there’ and ‘hey, I heard Jillian earlier, u ok?” snuck under science room tables. You got suspended for punching a guy who wouldn’t shut his mouth about Ethan in September - your parents were pissed but you didn’t care - no one was going to fuck with your friends. 

Your reprieves were after school when you could hang out like you always had... well, after they got done with football or lacrosse or wrestling practice. They’d come home sweaty, smelling like gym mats, texting you to come over. If your mom couldn’t take you over Lisa would come pick you up - even Cameron got you a few times, acting like it was a chore but secretly glad that her brothers had someone, anyone, to rely on. You went to every single one of their games and matches, wrote 47 and 8 on your cheeks in face paint and yelled as loud as you could, ate celebratory ice cream with them when they won. 

Things got, somehow, even worse freshman year of high school. The bullying was even more intense, with threats posed against both of them, and against you. Ethan got secretive for the first time in his entire friendship with you. One minute he was even more clingy than usual, and the next day he was quiet and distant. It took you calling him out on it one night for him to finally fess up.

And it was those four painful words that made you realize that you were in love with Ethan Dolan.

“We’re moving to LA.”

You cried. Ethan cried. Grayson cried. Lisa cried. 

But you dried your tears, put on a brave face, told him how proud you were of him, of both of them. They were chasing their dreams, making it happen for themselves in a way that you could only admire. What type of friend would you be if you tried to hold them back?

You made the most of the last month that they were still in New Jersey, hanging out every minute that you could, helping them look at apartments in LA online, watching them film videos for their channel, supporting them every step of the way. 

You lost track of how many times you had to reassure Ethan that you’d be fine in high school without him, even if it wasn’t true. He’d told you over and over to just pretend like you weren’t friends with them anymore - anything to get the bullying to stop. You told him no way in hell. 

You stayed the night at the Dolan’s house in October, the night before they got on the plane to move out. It was fun, an early halloween celebration of sorts, mixed with a going away party that had you laughing as much as it had you crying. 

The real kicker came around midnight, after Grayson had fallen asleep in the chair that he was much too big for now, and you and Ethan were left in the silence. 

“I’m gonna miss you. So much. I don’t know what life looks like without you,” you admitted with teary eyes, toying with his fingers.

“I’m gonna miss you more. But I’ll always be here to visit, and it’ll be just like old times.”

You doubted that, but you weren’t going to say it. The thought of not seeing him everyday, having him so far away, surrounded by new people, new girls - it put a lump in your throat that you couldn’t quite get the words “I’m in love with you” around. You’d realized that it was more than just friendship for you as soon as he told you he was leaving - but you couldn’t bring yourself to put that on him when he already felt guilty enough for leaving you behind.

So you just nodded at his promises of flying you out to LA when they got enough money, showing you all around California, tried to believe him when he said you were always going to be his number one, and fell asleep against his chest. 

You rode with them to the airport, held their hands the whole way in the backseat and kept your head held high as you hugged them and sent them through security.

You sobbed the whole way home. Even after you managed to pull yourself together a little bit, when you got that made it, miss you already text that signaled they had landed that night, a whole new wave of tears made their appearance. 

You knew it would be hard, but you didn’t realize just how lonely you were going to be without both of them, but especially Ethan at your side. 

But there was a silver lining.

It was in those next few months that you realized that Ethan always kept his promises. He facetimed you whenever he could, showed you around their apartment, asked you to explain how to make mac and cheese cause he was ‘gonna starve’. He sent you pictures of everywhere cool he visited in LA, even sent you postcards sometimes just for fun. And when he came to visit a month later he stopped at your house first, knocking incessantly until you opened the door and threw your arms around him. Once the tears had stopped - the ones you let flow and the ones he blinked back, he reached into his bag and pulled something out.

“Look what I found in the airport in LA. Your favorite.” He placed the mint chocolate bar in your hands with a grin, proud of himself for putting such a big smile on your face. 

And so, the tradition began. 

Every time he came back to New Jersey he was on your doorstep, and every time he brought you one of those little chocolate bars. It didn’t matter that he was home to see his family, because any time you brought it up he’d wave you off, reassure you that ‘you are family bub’, making you fall more and more in love with him every time. 

When he had the money, he flew you out to California, showed you all his favorite places. He took you to the beach, on hikes, made sure you got the full cali experience with him at your side.

There were times over the years where he visited less, or visited more. But It didn’t matter if it’d been a week or 3 months since you’d seen him - the butterflies were all the same when you saw him again. 

You were sure to catch up each time you reunited, going down the list of everything you might of missed, even if you still talked every day. It went like so:

One: how’s the channel going? To which he would ask “how’s school?”

Two: any new friends? He’d ask the same.

And then came question number three, your least favorite:

Got a girlfriend?

You’d wait with bated breath every time, sighing out in secret relief when he’d say “nah, don’t have time” or “no, LA girls are weird”. And then you’d go on with whatever you had planned that day, whether it was just hanging around your old Jersey stomping grounds or sit in your room, and eventually your apartment when you moved out, heart a bit lighter.

Maybe that’s why it hurt so bad on his last visit when he’d hesitated on that question, looked down at his hands.

The most painful four words you’d been told changed that afternoon, when he finally answered.

“Yeah, I do actually.” 

You’d always known it was going to happen eventually - you’d been preparing for it in the back of your mind for a while now. You saw the comments on every post he made, the replies to his tweets, thousands and thousands of adoring girls, and it only grew every single day. Maybe it had been dumb to think that he’d ever realize just how in love with him you were, dumb to think that maybe, maybe, he saw you that way too. 

So, you put on your brave face, forced that smile to spread over your face and ran through the motions.

“Really?! What, since when?!” had never sounded faker than when they came out of your mouth, laced with false enthusiasm. 

And you listened to him tell you all about her, Allison, a girl he’d met at an LA party that he didn’t want to go to. You nodded at the right times, smiled and asked questions you didn’t care to know the answers to. 

You secretly wished hearts made a noise when they broke - maybe it would have stopped the conversation, saved you from having to see his face light up when he said her name, the blush that spread across his cheeks when he told you about his first date with her. 

Three months passed - and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t run at least part of that conversation through your head every day since you had it. It was nice that Ethan wasn’t the type to put his relationship out to the public - a front row seat would only make it worse, you were sure. 

You decided it was time to try, to really try to find someone that wasn’t Ethan. Sure, you’d talked to people in the past, but you’d never gone all in when trying to find someone to be with, because, well, there was really only one on your mind anyways. 

Which was why it was weird to answer one of Ethan’s usual what’re you up to this week texts with not much, work, hanging out with my parents, got a date tomorrow night. You all still working on the candle launch stuff?

At his kitchen counter in LA, Ethan frowned as he read it. Date.

“What?” Grayson asked, reading his twin’s face as he washed the pans from dinner.

“Y/N’s going on a date.” 

“Huh. Well, good for her,” he shrugged, looking down at the water running over his hands, eyes flickering up to Ethan’s face, trying to figure out if he should say what he’s thinking. Fuck it, if he gets pissed he gets pissed. “How do you feel about that?”

That got Ethan’s attention off his phone screen.

“How do I feel about that? What’s that supposed to mean?” The defensiveness in his tone had Gray tensing up a bit.

“It’s just a question bro.” 

“I have a girlfriend Grayson.” 

Grayson stopped scrubbing, annoyed at his brother’s tone. He’d tried to be supportive, loving - but he was getting tired of Ethan complaining about his relationship woes and not doing anything about it. 

“Yeah, who you said you wanted to break up with twice last week, for the record. And you’re the one that brought up Y/N, not me,” he pointed out, knowing that if he was already gonna piss his brother off, he might as well say everything he wanted to say. 

“You never liked Allison,” Ethan snapped.

“Fuckin facts, cause she’s manipulative and fake.”

“No she isn’t.” He threw Grayson a glare, pressing his hands together until his knuckles popped.

“If you actually believed that you would have hit back with an actual argument just now. I mean jesus Ethan, she told you you couldn’t go back to see Y/N for god’s sake. That used to be your fuckin’ dealbreaker back in the day, why would you put up with that shit now?” 

“I didn’t put up with it, I told her it wasn’t negotiable and I went to Jersey anyways!” He was yelling now, hands gripping the edge of the counter.

“Yeah, and then she gave you the silent treatment for a week when you got back like a fuckin’ six year old. That’s some middle school shit and you know it E. You don’t have to put up with that, you can find somebody who treats you better.” 

“Will you fucking stop Grayson?” He threw his hands in the air, exasperated. “I’ve got enough shit going on right now, I don’t need you in my head too.” 

“Fine. But friends don’t get jealous when their friends go on dates, especially not when that friend is across the fucking country. Just so you know.” He watched his brother put his face in his hands and felt that familiar pang in heart that made him add a “I’ll be in my room if you wanna talk about it” before he walked out.

Grayson had mastered the art of keeping tabs on Ethan without him knowing. So even from his room he heard him leave, and based on how long he sat in the driveway with the car running, he knew exactly where he was going.

So, he wasn’t fully surprised when Ethan came into his room three hours later without knocking and laid down on his bed next to him without a word, staring up at the ceiling.

“So...”

“So.” Ethan repeated. 

“Did you uh...”

“Break up with her?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I did.” 

“Cool. How’d she take it.”

“About exactly how you'd expect.”

“Ugly sobbing?”

“So much ugly sobbing.” 

“Sounds on brand.”

The conversation faded into silence, only the hum of the fan spinning in the corner filling the room. Grayson let it go on for a few minutes before he spoke up again.

“So.”

“So.”

“You goin’ back to Jersey?”

Ethan perked up at that one, sitting up slightly and turning so he could look at his brother. He quirked an eyebrow, waiting for the explanation. 

“C’mon bro. You can’t act like Y/N doesn’t have anything to do with this. I mean, you should have dropped Allison a while ago, but it’s not a coincidence that the idea of Y/N going on a date was what made you do it now. You should just tell her how you feel. Put it all on the table.”

He pondered that for a minute, staring up at the white ceiling.

“I hate sharing a brain with you, you fuck,” were the words he eventually chose, rolling over and pulling out his phone. Grayson smirked when he saw what he searched - American Airlines.

“Not my fault we split into two goops.”

Ethan typed in the flight plan he’d done more than any other - LAX -> EWR. 4 hours and 56 minute, like usual. There was one leaving in just over an hour and a half, and the knot that formed in his stomach was all too familiar. It came around every time he waited on the doorstep of her apartment in New Jersey, waited for her to show up at the door with that bright smile that had never changed, never wavered. He’d do anything to have her smiling like that all the time.

“Maybe I shouldn’t do this.” 

Grayson’s brows furrowed, knitting together above his eyes. “What?”

“What if she gets mad that I ruined her date. I don’t wanna fuck that up for her. She could be happy with the guy.” The words tasted like metal on his tongue. 

“Oh c’mon Ethan. She’s only dating somebody because you’re dating somebody. Well, were, I guess.”

“You don’t know that. You don’t know how she feels about me.”

“You’re forgetting that I’ve been her friend for just as long as you have. You just gotta trust me on this bro. It’s not a coincidence that she starts going on dates when you tell her you’ve got a girl.”

“So many coincidences,” Ethan huffed.

“So many not coincidences,” Grayson corrected, raising his eyebrows and waiting for him to give in. 

“Am I just supposed to show up at her house? I’m not gonna get to Jersey until-” he did the time change math that was second nature by now “- shit, like 2am? That’s kinda sus.”

“Right, because showing up at her house isn’t the first thing you do every time we go home anyways.” Grayson rolled his eyes. “What time’s the flight?” 

“In like an hour and a half.”

“We can make it, just pack a bag real quick, I’ll start the car up.”

“Okay. Okay.” Ethan nodded, standing up and waiting for a minute before he fully decided that holy shit, he was finally gonna do this, and then he was running down the hall towards his room.

“And don’t wear shorts! Put on some fuckin’ pants and look decent at least!” Grayson called after him with a grin.

“I can dress myself bro, fuck off!” 

It turns out, Ludacris mode on a tesla comes in handy when you’re trying not to miss a flight. They sped all the way to LAX, barely time for a hug and a “text me when you get there” before Ethan was running through TSA precheck and barely making the last boarding call of Flight 8333. He took the numbers as a sign that he was doing the right thing, that everything was going to work out.

The nerves really hit when he got settled in his seat on the plane, tattooed thigh bouncing on the floor, covered by his Louis pants. His shoes didn’t match the outfit very well, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He hadn’t had much time to do anything but run through the terminals - he hoped he didn’t stink, didn’t forget anything.

Fuck. The chocolate. 

He twitched in his seat, ready to run back out and head to that little convenience store where the manager knew his name, knew he was only there to get a diet root beer for the flight and a mint chocolate bar. But it was no use - the place was probably closed, and it wasn’t like he could get off the plane anyways.

So he put his headphones in, turned on his playlist and closed his eyes as they started to taxi down the runway, praying that maybe he could sleep. Behind his eyelids, memories of you played like a mixture between a slideshow and a movie - little snippets and still images of times he had committed to memory, swore he would never forget.  

You, with your toes in the California sand for the first time, so excited to see the beach and the ocean waves crashing, face lighting up as you ran towards the water. Your fourth grade halloween costume - the first year the three of you had coordinated, all of you going as little skeletons. Sitting in the middle school hallway with lunch balanced carefully on your legs, swapping sandwiches and laughs. You hugging him goodbye when he left for LA, how he never wanted to let go, wished he could take you with him more than anything else. Every visit, every time he counted down the days before he could make it back to see you.

He couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t in love with you, wasn’t trying to convince himself that it would be wrong to ask you to try long distance, wrong to ‘hold you back’ or ask you to support someone, to love someone, so far away. It almost felt childish now, the thought that the two of you were going to end up with anybody else. His nerves prickled at the daunting task that he knew was awaiting him when the plane wheels touched down again, so he focused on your face instead, trying to breathe.

It was both the longest and quickest flight of his life somehow. 

He got a rental car - it was no smooth cat, but it would do - text Grayson that he was safe, and headed out in the familiar direction of your apartment before he could stop himself. He hadn’t made it four minutes down the interstate when the rain started falling, slow at first until it grew into a downpour that was roaring against the car. 

His wipers worked double time, keeping his windshield just clear enough for him to find his way to your parking lot. 

Heart in his throat, he threw his door open, stepping out into the rain before he could talk himself into turning around, jogging to your door and knocking.

In your bed, your eyes shot open. You waited for another knock, heart beating fast when you heard it, and then the constant rhythm of them afterwards. You rolled over, checked your phone.

2:16am.

“Who in the fuck,” you grumbled, sitting up and rubbing at your eyes as you headed out the door of your room in your pajamas, confused and concerned. If it was your drunk neighbor again, you were going to kill him. 

Popping up on your tiptoes, you peeked through the peep hole, breath catching in your throat. 

There was no way.

You blinked hard, looked again.

You knew that face, and you threw the door open, relief and panic playing tug of war on your heartbeat.

“Ethan? What- what the hell are you doing here? Are you okay? Is something wrong?” It wasn’t unlike him to show up and surprise you, but it had never been in the middle of the night. Still, he looked perfect as always, even with his drenched hair plastered to his head and soggy clothes. 

“I’m okay.” 

“Okay... well come inside, come outta the rain,” you reached out to grab his shirt, pull him inside, but he caught your hand, holding on tightly.

“I gotta say something first, and then you can decide if you wanna let me in.” He was too formal, more serious than you were used to and it had your stomach in knots. 

“You’re scaring me a little E.” 

“Don’t be scared. It’s just me.” His eyes shone, even in the dark, with a familiarity that settled you a bit and you nodded, waiting for him to say whatever it was. 

“I don’t know why I never thought it was okay for us to love each other. No, that’s not right, that’s not what I meant to say. I... hang on.” 

He took a deep breath, rainwater spraying a bit off his lips when he pushed it out and tried again.

“A long time ago, when we were kids, I convinced myself that we couldn’t love each other, because I couldn’t handle losing you. You’ve been my rock, my only constant outside my family for my entire life, and I don’t think I would have made it without you. So I just decided that we couldn’t love each other like that. And that was selfish. Because I’ve always been in love with you I think. Back then I don’t think I realized what it was. But now, when I look back, I think that’s what it was.”

You’ve always been the person I wanna see every day, especially when I can’t. The first person I think of when I wake up, the one I’m thinking about when I go to sleep. You’re my favorite human on the whole planet, and if soulmates are real I think that’s us. I don’t know why I ever tried to be with anybody else when you were here the whole time.”

And I know it’s not fair for me to put all this on you right now, especially when you tried to be supportive of me with other girls. But that text, you telling me you were going on a date. It slapped me in the face, made me realize just what I was about to give up, what was about to slip through my fingers if I didn’t get my shit together and just tell you everything. So... here I am. I’m here, and I love you... I’m in love with you. And I just needed you to know that. I’m in love with you Y/N. Always have been. And I kinda think that you could be in love with me too. Or at least, I hope maybe you are.” 

He had been looking at you the whole time, but you saw the nerves take over as he realized everything he had just said out loud, as he watched you, waited for your reaction. 

“I...” Your brain was spinning, unable to understand how everything you’d been waiting your whole life to hear had just come out of his mouth, all at once. 

It wasn’t a conscious decision - more of an instinct. Two steps forward out into the rain and then you were throwing your arms around his neck, up on your tip toes to finally, finally, press your lips to his like you’d dreamed about doing so many times. 

Your fantasies hadn’t done it justice. He was so warm, so familiar, so Ethan. His hands went to your waist, fingers curling and pulling you against him as he leaned in so hard that you leaned back with him, smiling as your hands came around to hold his face, hold him to you, unwilling for the moment to ever end. 

You didn’t even notice the rain.

“Am I dreaming?” You hadn’t meant to say it out loud but it slipped past your lips anyways, making Ethan’s chest swell and his smile get even brighter as he pulled back enough to look at you.

“No baby. This is real. This is us, right here, right now.” 

"No fuckin’ way,” you breathed, running your thumbs over his cheeks before he kissed you again, walking you backwards into the house and out of the downpour and over to the couch. 

“I love you. So much. Sorry I forgot your chocolate by the way,” he grinned after he sat down and pulled you onto his lap, gazing up at you like you hung the moon and stars.

“You’re so much better than mint chocolate. I love you too.” You kissed him again just because you could, relishing in the feeling of him there with you, not a worry or a care in the world.

[ootori-sibs]

The Ootori princess

Chapter ten: Big brother's support

Tw: internalised transphobia, misplaced support

Sitting down at the dinner table, Kyoya felt the weight that had been lifted from her shoulders settle back down. Yuuichi didn't know- and Kyoya had only just accepted it herself… herself… it felt good to think about herself in such a way. The epiphany had happened just that evening, a little while after returning from the park. Kyoya had been considering the fact for a while, but she finally ran out of excuses and distractions, she had to face the fact that there was a bigger reason she wasn't like her brothers… why she was so much more like Fiyumi, although they were different too- it came with the territory, Kyoya figured.

"Kyoya? Are you alright? You haven't touched your food," Yuuichi interrupted her train of thought, a kind smile that only Dr to remind Kyoya of the horror that she'd have to tell him at some point.

"I… yes, apologies, I had something on my mind." She admitted, looking down at her food; they were having sushi today, sashimi mostly. That was good, Kyoya enjoyed sashimi.

A sigh from her older brother, and Kyoya looked up to see his eyes were filled with concern, "there's been a lot on your mind lately, is there something wrong? Anything I should know?" Oh god, Kyoya instantly froze, her entire body locking up as she desperately thought to find an escape.

She swallowed, not looking her brother in the eyes, "I suppose there has been, but it's nothing you're… not aware of," she lied, but only to protect herself. She loved and trusted her brother of course, but this was an entire can of worms she definitely wasn't willing to open right now.

Yuuichi sighed, “Kyoya… you know I can tell when you’re lying to me, right?”

"Lying to you..?" She knew there was no way to lie for a second time, so she could only hope to escape, "I don't think… it was anything bigger than a white lie. Nothing harmful, but still, I apologize." Kyoya hung her head, hoping that Yuuichi would just drop it.

He didn't, Yuuichi was a good, caring older brother, "please tell me, I want to help you…" he then sighs, "you don't have to though, I'm just… I want to help you, I can't help you if I don’t know what's wrong.” Kyoya bristled at that, not liking how her brother was prying into her business like that. She sighed and gripped the tablecloth tightly trying not to panic.

“Yuuichi, I’m sorry but I cannot tell you what I’m thinking about right now, I’m just not prepared for that discussion at the moment.” She bit the inside of her lip, hoping that would be enough for Yuuichi.

"Alright, I understand," he glanced back down at the plate, "I apologize if I crossed a line."

That night, Kyoya couldn't sleep. She was still reeling from figuring it out and then from telling Haruhi. She had eventually gotten out of bed and just sat at the computer, she didn't have anything she had to do, but maybe a game of solitaire would relax her. Unfortunately the more she played, the more frustrated she got, although at least now it wasn't due to gender.

She wasn't sure how she got there, but she was online shopping after a while, looking at dresses and skirts. Kyoya knew she wouldn't be able to wear them outside but still… it was a wonderful idea to simply wear them. She found some purple pringle-pattern socks, in both normal and knee-high variety. Pleased to have something to wear in public, she bought it, quickly following the purchase up with a more pointed version of her regular school shoes, nothing wrong with looking just a little more feminine. It's not like anyone would notice, just her.

Kyoya also thought about names, Haruhi had asked if she'd like to change her name- to find one more suited to a lady.

When Kyoya woke up in the morning, she got dressed, slowly dragging herself downstairs to get coffee. Madeline was there when he got into the kitchen, making some oatmeal. She glanced over when Kyoya entered the room, "mornin'! How're ya feeling?"

She just let out a low groan, almost a growl, grabbing the coffee pot. Usually that was enough to make maids stop talking to Kyoya, but for some reason those two weren't scared of him, Madeline even chuckled.

"Well someone ain't a morning person, sit down baby, I'll get you your coffee." She took the pot from Kyoya's hands, ushering her to sit down. The woman started making the coffee with one hand, using the other to stir the pot of oatmeal, Kyoya had to admit that it was quite impressive. "Are you alright though? The master seems quite worried about you."

"My brother can worry all he likes," Kyoya sighed, she did truly feel bad, but she still wasn't ready to tell him, she would when she was ready though, "it will not change a thing."

"Oh?" Madeline set the coffee down in front of Kyoya, along with a bowl of oatmeal with syrup, coffee granules and cherry blossoms to decorate, "is there something you're not telling him?"

Kyoya just sighed, trying a mouthful of the oatmeal- oh that was good, a hum of approval left her lips, causing Madeline to smile. "I'm not at liberty to tell you about any of that, you are just a maid after all."

She nodded, serving out two more bowls of the oatmeal- Yuuichi must have gone to work already, "I get that, but you have to know that I'm here for you. I'm not gonna tell your brother, or anyone else. You need someone you can talk to, and you don't know me that well, I'm 'no one of consequence' as you would put it. I'm not pressuring you, but if you feel like it, I'm always an open ear."

"Alright, I'll consider it." Kyoya sighed, she ate her oatmeal quietly, pondering the offer given. She supposed she would need someone to talk to, she couldn't just burden Haruhi with everything. Maybe she would talk to Madeline about it, not now though. Right now, Kyoya was thinking about her big brother, had he gone to work already? He’d promised Kyoya that he’d spend the day with her, that he just had one meeting in the morning. So naturally, Kyoya was excited, she idolised her big brother, the fact that she’d get to spend the entire day with him made her very happy. She wondered where he was, probably at that meeting already, but she might ask just to be sure, "where is my brother? Has he gone to work?"

"Oh? Not at all," Madeline chuckled, "he's actually still asleep, the meeting doesn't start for an hour." Oh wow, Kyoya had woken up before her brother for once, she felt a strange sense of pride at that. Funny.

Speak of the devil, Yuuichi came waltzing in not that much later, grabbing the coffee, "mmm, coffee always smells better in the morning, doesn't it Kyo?"

Kyoya smiled up at her brother, feeling a little happier to hear Yuuichi acknowledge her in that informal way he so often did. "Good morning, good luck at your meeting today."

Yuuichi glanced back at him, smiling softly, "you're coming with me, you can get dressed after breakfast, I'll help you pick out an outfit if you want?"

Oh! She was coming with? Kyoya smiled up at him, "why? Where are we going after that?" If Yuuichi wanted to help her pick out an outfit, then he must have something specific in mind.

"Well I figured we could go to the beach and have a little picnic, then we could go shopping," he sips his coffee slowly, looking over some papers as he speaks, "how does that sound? We can do something else if you'd rather."

"The beach sounds nice, one of our private ones I assume?"

"No actually, I found a nice public one, it's never used much though, and there's a nice hidden area we can use." Interesting, Kyoya had very little experience with public beaches, she assumed it would be quite crowded on a day like this but Yuuichi seemed to know how to avoid people, so she was happy. She nodded, imitating Yuuichi with the way she held her coffee cup, taking a sip.

"That sounds wonderful, I think I might enjoy that."

After breakfast, they went up to Kyoya's bedroom, to decide on her outfit for the day. "Do you have any shorts?" Yuuichi asked, pulling open the door to the walk-in-wardrobe and stepping in.

"A few, yes." Kyoya felt her heart hammering in her chest as she realised she also kept the skirt she'd taken from Haruhi in the drawer with the shorts, "although it might rain later today so is that really a good idea?"

"Nonsense!" Yuuichi chuckled at that, "have you seen how bright it is out there? There's no way it'll rain!" Kyoya winced as she saw him open the drawer, a look of mild surprise appearing on his face for just a second before Yuuichi frowns. "You have so many khakis, they don't look good Kyoya! Get better shorts!" He tossed a pair of knee length jean shorts at Kyoya, huffing, "this is why we need to go shopping."

"What's wrong with my shorts?" Kyoya frowned, picking up the shorts she was given. She definitely didn't like the shorts, but they were the straightest thing she could think of- and father had hated it when Kyoya 'dressed gay'. Although he had said being gay was fine as long as she didn't act on it… hey, does that make her straight now? Because she's only interested in boys, but also she's definitely a girl now… so she's straight? Well, guess that would make father happy… obviously not but it was an amusing thought.

"Hmm… oh this is new!" Yuuichi took the little black dress out, looking at it, "this is a long top, almost a dress," he chuckles, "it's cute though, you should wear it."

Kyoya swallowed, a bubble in her throat appearing at the idea of wearing a dress in public. Sure, Yuuichi clearly didn't think it was a dress, but it definitely was just me, and Kyoya was terrified of the idea of being seen like that. "Isn't it a little too long?"

"I don't think so? Your shorts are knee length so it's fine-"

"But! But… it wouldn't go with the jean shorts, it would look bad," Kyoya was full on panicking at this point, thrown into thoughts of people seeing her in a dress like that… it was horrifying.

"Alright, alright," Yuuichi glanced at her with a strange look in his eyes before nodding and putting the dress back, "you've got this white turtleneck? That's cute?"

She sighed, sitting down on her bed, "I suppose I do," she was tired already, of course she was looking forward to the picnic and spending time with her brother. It was just… the panic just then took a surprising amount of energy out of her.

Yuuichi stepped out of the wardrobe, frowning, "are you alright?" Kyoya looks up at him, trying to hide the sudden fear still in her face, it evidently fails as Yuuichi looks heartbroken. He sat down next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her in, "I'm sorry, I figured it was a dress, I was just trying to be supportive…" Kyoya pauses at that, supportive? It seemed Yuuichi wasn't done, however, as he began to stroke her hair, "I noticed you'd been experimenting with women's clothing, so I figured I'd be encouraging. I'm sorry Kyoya, I didn't mean to scare you like that."

Huh… Yuuichi had noticed, of course he had, Kyoya hadn't been all too subtle. The frilly apron, the instant approval of the hairclips, the talking to Haruhi in private. How hadn't Kyoya noticed his support before? God, her big brother was so sweet and… and he didn't care about Kyoya wearing dresses, so maybe he wouldn't care about her being a girl…

She stared at Yuuichi's face, it was ok, there was nothing but trust and love in those eyes, Kyoya was safe. Kyoya could speak, she was willing herself to tell him, to be free to be herself at least here. Once he knew, she could buy more dresses. It was safe to tell him, of course it was,

but Kyoya couldn't bring herself to say it.

Instead, she just burst into tears, quiet, almost inaudible sobbing as she leaned her head into Yuuichi's chest. Poor Yuui was surprised but instantly comforted her, continuing to stroke her hair gently, "hey… hey, it's ok Kyo, I've got you. Your big brother is here, everything's going to be fine." He sighed, and began huming something soft, a song that Kyoya reconised as a stupid 50s song, the kind mother would always listen to, but of course, Yuuichi had changed the melody… it was a lullaby now.

"...big brother…"

[none-of-your-biscuits]

Class 1 A as stupid stuff I did/do

Aoyama- Tried to use facial cream as toothpaste

Mina- Fell off a pole onto a table and a bunch of chairs in the cafeteria

Tsuyu- Inducted frogs into a cult

Iida- stuffed my brother into a snow bank because "he wouldn't shut up"

Uraraka- Ate dirt because someone said I wouldn't

Ojiro- Screamed "I am the karate kid" And slammed my face into a table

Kaminari- Dropped a knife into my toe while doing the dishes

Kirishima- Immediately picked the most volatile person out on the playground and started hanging out with them (we're still best friends)

Kouda- Everytime I see a spider I will scream and run away

Sato- had to air out my house because I was trying to boil coke but burned it and it filled my house with smoke

Shoji- Nearly broke my arm trying to carry in groceries

Jirou- I thought playing with speaker wires was a good idea

Sero- Duct taped myself to a pole

Tokoyami- I made a cheez-it pentagram once

Todoroki- nearly burned myself during previously mentioned coke incident

Hagakure- Everytime I'm sitting on the couch around dinner time my family calls up to my room and I scare them by saying "I'm right here"

Bakugou- I threw a old teapot at a tree in a fit of rage and it cut my finger

Midoriya- I fall down the stairs a lot, I'm kinda surprised I haven't been severely injured yet

Shinsou- Sleeping in class and insomnia is my brand

Momo- regularly takes things apart just to see how they work

Bonus teachers:

Mic: threw a toothbrush and it bounced off the wall and hit me in the face

Aizawa: Slept in a cuboard

Midnight: Walked into a pole and broke my glasses

All Might/Toshinori: Got both my arms stuck in pringles cans and had to ask my mom to take them off

[lovemesomesurveys]

WHAT YOU WOULD RATHER BE CALLED 1. Babe or Baby: Meh, I don’t really like either one.  2. Sweetheart or Honey: Whichever. 3. Sexy or Beautiful: Beautiful.

THE CANS 1. Can you blow a bubble with your gum?: I haven’t attempted to in so long, but I’m sure I still could. 2. Can you dance?: Nope. 3. Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth? No. 4. Can you touch your toes?: Yes. 5. Can you wiggle your ears?: No.

THE DIDS  1. Did you ever run away from home?: No. 2. Did you ever want to be a doctor?: No. 3. Did you ever want to be a firefighter?: No.

THE DOS 1. Do you believe in God?: Yes. 2. Do you know how to swim?: Nope. 3. Do you like roller coasters?: Nooo. 4. Do you have a bike? No. 5. Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: Definitely not.

THE HAVES 1. Have you ever asked someone out?: No, I’m too awkward and shy for that. 2. Have you ever gone fishing?: I tried it once.  3. Have you ever had a mud fight?: No.

THE WHATS 1. What is the temperature outside?: It’s currently 77F.  2. What radio station do you listen to? I haven’t listened to the radio in years. 3. What was the last restaurant you ate at? Denny’s last year before the pandemic and quarantine happened. I get takeout regularly, though. 4. What was the last thing you bought?: Food, of course. 5. What was the last thing you had to drink?: Coffee. 6. What was the last thing on TV you watched?: Last Man Standing.

THE WHOS 1. Who was the last person you added to facebook?: I don’t remember. 2. Who was the last person you texted?: My mom. 3. Who was the last person who texted you? My mom. 4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mom.  5. Who was the last person you took a picture with?: My brother. 6. Who was the last person to leave you a wall post?: I don’t recall.

CRYING SECTION 1. Ever really cried your heart out?: Yes. 2. Ever cried yourself to sleep?: Numerous times. 3. Ever cried on your friends shoulder? No. 4. Ever cried over the opposite sex?: Too many times. 5. Do you cry when you get an injury?: If it’s really painful. 6. Do certain songs make you cry?: Yes.

SELF ESTEEM SECTION 1. Is your self-esteem extremely low?: It’s not even on the chart. 2. Do you believe in yourself?: No. :/ 3. Do you wish you can be someone else?: I wish I could be an improved, functioning version of myself.

THIS OR THAT 1. Rock or rap: I like both. 2. Coffee or Hot cocoa: Coffee, duh. 3. Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla. 4. Hummer or Sports car: Sports car. 5. Bracelet or Necklace: Bracelet. 6. History or Science: History. 7. Sleep in or Early to rise: Sleep in. 8. Beach or Boardwalk: Beach, but I like walking around the boardwalk looking at shops and getting fried delicious food as well. 9. Hoodie or Tee shirt: T-shirt. 10. Night or Day: Night. 11. Love at first sight or Learn to love: I don’t believe in love at first sight. I’ve never used the term, “learn to love.” Like, that doesn’t sound right to me. *shrug*

HAVE YOU EVER 1. Been on the phone until the sun came up?: I don’t think that late before, no. 2. Laughed so hard you cried?: Yes. It’s been a longgggg time since I’ve had a good laugh like that, though. 3. Got into a fight with someone?: Not a physical one.

CURRENT 1. Current mood: I’m tired and hot. 2. Current music playing: I’m not listening to music. 3. Current thing I should to be doing: I don’t have anything else I need to be doing. 4. Current amount of money you have on you right now: I have some cash.

THIS OR THAT 1. Kissing on the bed or kissing in the rain: I’ve always kinda wanted to experience the whole ‘kissing in the rain’ thing, ha. 2. Hugs or kisses: Both. 3. Watching a scary movie or a funny one: Scary. 4. Holding hands or being held: Both.

PINK IS LOVE 1. Do you like someone?: No. 2. Do you believe in love at first sight?: No, we’ve been through this.

RED IS ANGER 1. Are you currently mad at someone?: No. 2. Which of your family members has the worst temper?: No one in my immediate family does. 3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone?: No. 4. Is anyone mad at you? Possibly.

YELLOW IS SELF DISCOVERY 1. Who are you?: Stephanie. 2. What is your career plan for the future?: I don’t know. :/ 3. What’s your main goal in life?: I don’t knowww.

ORANGE IS EXCITEMENT 1. If you won a million dollars, what would be your first thought?: I’d be total shock first of all and then my mind would be racing with what to do first and wanting to do it right away. 2. If you could have anything right now what would it be?: that million dollars you just mentioned <-Haha, for real! <<< Yeah, that’d be nice. ha.

GREEN IS OPINION 1. Lower the drinking age? No. 2. War?: Not a fan. 3. Global Warming?: Is definitely a thing.

PURPLE IS Q&A 1. How many beds did you lay in today?: Just mine all day. 2. What color shirt are you wearing?: Black. 3. Name one thing that you do everyday: Drink coffee. 4. Does anything hurt on your body right now?: Of course. 5. Do you own a camera phone?: Yeah. 

GREY IS TODAY 1. What are you doing tonight?: Same stuff as always. 2. What are you going to eat?: I’m not sure yet. 3. Where are you going to be at 2:00am?: Here at home, likely about to make my nightly bowl of ramen.

BLACK IS FOR TOMORROW 1. Tomorrow is?: Thursday. 2. Are you looking forward to it?: Just another day. 3. Are you going to laugh?: Probably. 4. Who are you going to be with? My family. 5. Do you want to change that?: Change what who I’m going to be with tomorrow? No. 6. Do you have a crush?: No. 7. Are you happy with life at the moment?: No.

RANDOM STUFF 1. What is your best friend’s Dad’s name?: Tom. 2. Are you bored of this note yet?: Yeah, sorry I’m over it. 3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had? I never found any of my teachers attractive. 4. What body part do you wash first?: My arms. 5. Is your driveway steep?: A little. 6. What’s your favorite flavored Pringles?: Sour Cream & Onion. 7. Have you ever been tied up?: No. 8. What did you just eat?: A breakfast burrito and a hash brown.

[13-reasons-ideas]

Finding Peace In Another Part 18

A/N I’m so sorry for the delay once again. I had issues writing this part. 

My schedule was pretty open before I was due to meet Scott at Rosie’s, so I had time to run home and change. I settled on my old Levi’s and a plain black t-shirt to keep things casual. It wasn’t super nice but still more appropriate for dinner than the sweatpants and tank top I wore earlier in the day. I arrived at Rosie’s about five minutes early and waited for Scott in my car. Scott’s hair was still damp from his post practice shower when he met me, so it flopped down to cover his forehead slightly. He shook his hair out playfully so some of the droplets hit me and I laughed. We sat down at a table close to the door and we fell into easy conversation as usual. I perused the menu absently while we talked. “Now that you’ve gotten me covered in water, how was practice?”

“It was good. I would explain what we did, but I don’t have any crusts or apples to use for examples.”

“That’s fair. Truthfully, I still have basically zero understanding of the game so it would be a waste of time.”

Our waitress arrived a few moments later to take our drink orders. I ordered a hot chocolate and Scott ordered a strawberry shake.

“Let me guess you’re going to get the turkey sandwich with nothing on it?” Scott asked teasingly

“Maybe. Are you going to judge me if I do?” I smirked back.

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

“Fine then, master of sandwiches. How would you order a sandwich?”

“I would order your turkey sandwich with Havarti, sprouts or lettuce or arugula, tomatoes, pickles, pesto, and if I’m feeling fancy, banana peppers. On white bread.”

I tried to mask my disgust, “what do you think this place is? A fucking Subway?”

“No, but I am not opposed to customization.”

I shrugged in response. Before I could concede to his point, our waitress came back with our drinks to take our order.

“Can I get the turkey sandwich with no tomatoes on whole wheat please?”

“And can I get a chicken club with avocado please?”

Our waitress nodded and left us to our conversation. “Anyway, I see your point but still. Why make a sandwich more complicated than it needs to be? The beauty of the sandwich is its simplicity.” I asked.

“Exactly what you said only the opposite. It is customizable. That’s the beauty. Being able to make it as simple or as complicated as you want.” Scott explained.

I chewed his answer over for a moment before accepting his point. “Now that you have taught me about superior sandwiches, tell me about your day?”

“It was alright, nothing too special. Don’t think I didn’t notice you falling asleep in math class though. You know, when you weren’t trying to be discreet about texting.”

“Oh, like you’ve never done it. That class was boring. I already learned and understood this stuff in the eighth grade.”

“That’s fair. I feel like I ask all the time, but you intrigue me, and your stories are great. What was it like back home? Obviously, it was cold and stuff. And your math curriculum was better, but besides that.”

“It wasn’t cold all the time. We usually got about five to six months of nice or at least decent weather. Maybe once a year we got a week of minus forty degrees but other than that, the weather isn’t awful. Yes, our math curriculum is better.”

“Oh yes. That’s just a nice way of saying it’s cold more than not. Tell me about your friends. What were they like?”

“My friends were… trouble. But they were also some of the sweetest people I know.” I smile fondly.

“They couldn’t have been that bad Becca. They were friends with you.”

“Scott I was the mom friend. I got them out of binds. Some bigger than others, legally I can’t talk about those.”

His eyes widened briefly, “That bad then. You’re right. Was there a more than friend? Bailey perhaps?” he asked, suggestively.

“There were some more than friends over the years yes. Never Bailey though. He was more of a brother to me. He’s my best friend.”

“And the mom friend had game. More than one you say?”

“Not at the same time! Some of them were closer to the breakup than not, but never together.”

“I assumed separately.”

“Some were also… better than others.”

“How so?”

“Let’s just say there was stuff that went on that I didn’t tell my brother or Bailey.”

Scott smiled at me sadly, “I’m sorry Becca.”

Our food arrived and we took a break from talking for a few minutes.

“Anyway, so you were single when you moved, I gather?”

“Yes, single as a pringle.” I smirked.

“You’ve been here a while now. Has anyone, I don’t know, caught your eye?” he asked, his eyes shining coyly as he smirked playfully.

“There may be someone, yes.” I replied, smirking back. Be subtle. You can’t flirt too much. But you can’t ignore it either, he will know something is up.

“Would this person happen to, oh I don’t know, know you exist as more than ‘new girl’?”

“He would. I’m definitely more than new girl to him. I would even say we are friends.”

“Hmmm… I see.” He smiled and raised his brow at me, “I know him?”

I was mid-sip and choked slightly. I coughed slightly before collecting myself again, “You might. Small town and all.” I said, hoping that would appease him.

“I see, that’s how you want to play it Samuels.” His voice is fucking dripping sex appeal. I can’t really come out and say ‘yeah I’m seeing your best friend. Don’t worry though. I won’t tell him you hit on me all night.’

“Why so interested Scotty?” I asked, raising my brow suggestively.

“Just curious Becca. You’re very private. That makes you interesting. It’s refreshing for this town. But also infuriating because I don’t like not knowing things.”

“Well, I can assure you I intend to keep playing it like this.”

“Then I intend to keep peeling.”

“Be my guest.”

We ate in silence again and I thought Scott might drop the subject for now. Turns out, he was merely thinking about all the men he knew in town that is around our age and into girls.

“So yesterday morning was intense. I haven’t seen Monty that mad in a long time.” Scratch that, he was thinking about one man.

“You would know that better than me.”

“I would yes. His more violent tendencies have been almost non-existent recently.”

“So Bryce said yesterday.” I replied, wondering just where this was going.

“If I had to estimate a timeframe, I would say it was… shortly after you got here. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts. “Should I?”

“Do you always answer questions with questions?”

“Do you always speak in cryptic implication?”

“Only when I’m trying to figure someone out.”

“I’m a riddle to figure out now?”

“Not a riddle. More of an onion. You have layers. I need to peel them back.”

“Ah, the old onion analogy, clever. To answer your question, no. I don’t think I have anything to do with his behaviour change. If I do, it would be news to me. Like I said yesterday, he is my friend. I don’t know if that has anything to do with it. Could be the introduction of estrogen into his circle. Balances out some of the testosterone.”

Scott made a noise that seemed to imply he didn’t believe me, but he was done with the Monty/Becca inquisition. We finished our meal with playful banter and random conversation. At the end of our evening, we parted ways agreeing to do this again and we would text each other when we got home. He didn’t want to worry about losing the estrogen shot in the group. Pretty sure that was code for Monty’s maybe girlfriend. I kept to our word and texted him when I got home before calling Monty for the night.

“Hey beautiful. How was dinner?”

“It was good. Scott made fun of my order and we talked. So basically, lunch only without Matt and Bryce making stupid jokes, and people yelling at each other.”

He chuckled on the other end of the line, “sounds like a fun night. What’d you talk about?”

“Just stuff. He asked about my friends at home and Bailey.”

“That’s it? That’s what you spent 2 hours talking about?” He asked, playfully.

“Well… no. He asked about you. And your behaviour changes.”

“I see. What did you tell him?”

“I didn’t say anything about us. I chalked it up to having a female friend balancing out the testosterone.”

“Alright. I mean, it’s not really wrong. Not super believable but at least I can fall back on it if I have to.”

“I know but I didn’t know what else to say. How was your night though?”

Monty paused, his tone changing almost immediately, “it was fine. Nothing out of the ordinary happened.” I heard yelling on the other end of the call.

“Do you want to come over?”

“Nah, I’m alright. Wasn’t anything too major.”

“Okay. You know you can come over any time so if you change your mind….”

“I know Becks. But really, I’m fine.” he yawned loudly, “I’m pretty tired though sweets so I think I’m going to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay baby. See you tomorrow.”

“Night Becks.”

“Night night Monty.” After he hung up, I added “I love you” to myself into the quiet stillness of my bedroom.

[happyhealthyanna]

Five Words

TW: lots of weight talk (no numbers)

Over the weekend, I made a doctor’s appointment in a panic over chest pain. I had the appointment yesterday and was very open about the fact that I was pretty sure this was due to anxiety, but I needed reassurance that my heart is okay. My doctor reassured me that the chances of having heart disease at 27 are slim to none as it progresses over time, but she offered to do an EKG to give me peace of mind. It came back normal.

Let’s rewind 20 years.

Exact ages are muddled after so many years, but I believe I was 8 years old when I put on a significant amount of weight in a short amount of time. My parents took me to our family’s physician. I don’t remember if it was at this point or a couple years later, but regardless, at some point during my childhood I was told by this physician that I was at risk for heart disease and diabetes due to my weight. 

To reiterate: I was a child. 

I recall not being allowed to have the snacks that my classmates had. Chips and candy and ice cream, while already in limited quantities, were no longer permitted. Meanwhile, my brother was on the football team and had to eat a lot to keep his weight up. I remember coming home from school one day and seeing him eating Pringles. I asked if I could have some - he & my mom exchanged a look, then she responded that those were for him and I should go get a healthy snack like carrots.

It hit me at that point that there must be something bad and wrong and gross about me, that I had to have these gross healthy foods because I was bad and wrong and gross. Again, I was a child, so I didn’t have the critical thinking skills to understand that my parents were more afraid than I was about my weight. How were they to know that I would get my period two years later, meaning that the weight gain was most likely due to puberty? They were afraid that they did something wrong, so they chose the method that most physicians seem to recommend: cut calories, increase exercise.

Again, timelines may be muddled, but this is what I remember: I think I was ten or eleven first year I had to do “Speed Camp” - a summer program that my future high school offered to athletes to keep them conditioned for sports - under the guise that it would help me train for the summer sports I was already enrolled in. I was twelve when my dad started taking me to the gym before middle school to see a personal trainer. The summer before high school, I was enrolled in a Children’s Hospital program called Shapedown - I had to do a few screenings to make sure I was overweight enough to qualify. Which, to my fourteen year-old brain, meant that I was bad and wrong and gross enough. 

I lost a lot of weight via the Shapedown program and for the first time in years, I felt like I was doing things right. I entered high school thin, braces off, and with freshly dyed red hair. I got attention from boys and people liked me and my parents seemed nicer to me.

But during all of this time, from the moment I realized I was no longer allowed to eat what I wanted, I developed B.E.D. It didn’t matter how many times my parents screamed at me for eating the last of the ice cream, or finishing my Halloween candy in two days. I internalized the shame and ate more. I gained all of the weight back, plus some. 

In New York while attending acting school, I did a crash diet that the rest of my family was participating in and once again lost a lot of weight. This was encouraged and praised. Again, over the years, I gained all of the weight back with interest. 

I moved back to Colorado in 2013 to seek treatment for B.E.D. My weight has been steadily increasing ever since and I am currently at my heaviest. All of this despite a moderately active lifestyle.

Which brings me back to yesterday’s appointment. After our discussion of my normal EKG results, my doctor said goodbye and she made the comment, “Don’t worry about your weight.”

I felt the world shift beneath my feet. I thanked her and as soon as I stepped outside, I burst into tears.

At no point in this 20 year history has any medical professional told me not to worry about my weight. Sure, my dietitian and E.D therapist harped on the fact that my weight was far less important than getting my mental health in check. But that’s part of their job and the context in which I was being treated by them. Here I was, with a general practitioner doctor, whose job it is to monitor my health, and she is telling me not to worry about being the heaviest I’ve ever been. It’s difficult to imagine a reality in which this can be true, but here I am.

I’ve been thinking a lot over the past 18 hours since that appointment, and what mainly comes to mind is that it’s very likely that the way that my weight was discussed and treated early on is a huge contributing factor for most of the other issues I have had. Of course I’m going to develop anxiety when I’m told as an elementary schooler that my weight is going to give me heart disease; when I am not allowed to eat what I want; when I am encouraged to go to the gym while my classmates are watching Sailor Moon; when every single day since that fateful day in the family physician’s office, my body and what I’m eating and how much I’m exercising has been at the forefront of my mind. There has been no peace with my body since that day.

I don’t hold ill will towards that family physician - she was treating what she saw as a serious illness in the way that she was told to treat it. There were far less conversations happening at that time about how the approach they used can be more damaging than helpful. I wish I had been treated differently, but I wasn’t, so it’s not a good use of my energy to wallow. 

I’ve been treated for anxiety since 2016 and still struggle every day. It’s natural to want a blanket answer for my problems. I think this is as close as I’m going to get. 

Here’s how I am seeing it now: as a child, I became anxious about my weight and health. I dealt with the anxiety by eating, which made me develop B.E.D and increased my weight. When I sought B.E.D treatment, that coping mechanism went away, so I was left with the anxiety and thought that I was, at my core, bad and wrong and gross. The anxiety skyrocketed and my body continued to hold onto weight to protect me. The amount of anxiety that I felt caused the digestive issues I’ve had since I stoped binging, which increased the anxiety even more, causing this vicious cycle that I’m still trying to climb out of. 

But if I don’t have to worry about my weight, what does that look like? Who am I without this struggle? 

I’d like to find out.

[qythxn]

How would the brothers react to having the S/O steal their hoodies CONSTANTLY? Like, they can't take their eyes off the hoodie or them for more than five seconds or their S/O will have the hoodie on, even if the brothers were wearing it beforehand, curled up somewhere and happily warm. If asked why they keep stealing it, they simply shrug and tell them, "It's warm and smells like you. Makes me feel safe."

I gotcha!!

Leonardo

               It allstarted when he was walking you home. It was cold outside, and even though he’dreminded you, you still insisted on wearing your nicest outfit, which just didn’tgo with a hoodie! Or at least, that’s what you told him. You’d had your eyes onthat nice, black hoodie with the blue logo on it for too long. You were gonnahave it.        

               “Leo,baby, I’m cold.”

               “Youshould have worn a hoodie, love. I told you, and now you must suffer.” Hejoked, smirking down at you. You pouted, and crossed your arms over your chest,goosebumps forming on your arms.

               “If youdon’t give me your hoodie, I’ll—I won’t hang out with you for a week!” Youstuck out your tongue.

               “Ohplease, as if you’d last that long.” He said, shoving his hands in his bigpocket.

               Yourface reddened. He was right. You probably couldn’t even go without a good nighttext tonight. “Come on!” You whined.

               “Fine,you got me. You look too cute to say no.” He chuckled, removing his hoodie andhanding it to you. “You’re cold blooded anyways, you don’t need it.” Yougrinned, kissing his nose and heading inside.

               Afterthat, you continued to steal his hoodie, no matter how many times he’d steal itback, you always had it. He bought more- you stole them. He hid them- you foundthem. He locked them in a safe- you’d get Donnie to pick the lock. There was nostopping you!

               He hadto admit, you were cute, though.

               “Why doyou keep taking my hoodies?” He brought up one day whilst you were cuddled upin your nest of hoodies you’d stolen, like a proud cat amongst its hill of deadmice and birds.

“They’re warm and they smell likeyou.” You mumbled, face mushed into the fabric.

Raphael

               Yourobsession started when you and him were hanging out. You were laying with him,watching a movie, and cuddling under a blanket. He was cold, as always. He was,after all, part reptile. You forget that sometimes and try to warm him up.

               And so that’swhy you bought him a hoodie for his mutation day. It was only a few months ago,but he wore the thing all the time, and you were so jealous. He talked abouthow comfy it was and even when you bought it, you’d took notice to the fluff onthe inside. You were going to have it. When he got up to tend to something thatone of his brothers did, he paused the movie and you found your time to strike.There it was, laying on top of his dresser, nicely folded.

               Youwere going to have it.

               Youquickly grabbed it, and put it on over your head, shuffling it down and snugglinginto the fuzzy inside. It smelled of him and his cinnamon scent. You snuggledback under the blanket and waited for him to return and notice you. You were justasking for trouble at this point.

               When hereturned, he instantly noticed the pile of blanket that was you, your hairpoking out of the top of the blanket. You were giggling, hoping that you couldn’tbe seen. He peeled you out of it, and gasped at seeing his huge hoodie on you. “Youlook so adorable, babe.” He chuckled, laying next to you and nuzzling you. “Good,because I’m keeping it.” You stuck out your tongue and pressed play on yourmovie.

               Afterthat, you just continued to steal it! It was the only one he owned, but inreturn, he’d steal yours. Of course, he wasn’t able to wear them, but he’denjoy cuddling them. You two have an ongoing battle of who has each other’s hoodies.When asked why, you’d snuggle in deeper and hiss. “Warm!” You’d hmph and thengo back to cuddling it. Raph thinks its adorable!

Michelangelo

               Your little game started when youtwo were on a rooftop together, Mikey sharing a pizza with you. You were chattingand giggling with each other, laughing at his little schemes and jokes everyonce and a while. He was honestly adorable.

               But then,you dropped a slice of pizza on your favorite hoodie! Pouting, you picked itback up and ate it anyways.

               “Awman! That totally sucks, babe! Here, have mine. I’ll clean yours off for youand you can keep mine until I can give it back.” Mikey said, shuffling his ownhoodie off of him. You removed yours as well, and switched with him. You huggedthe orange fabric, cuddling your face into it. “So soft…” You mumbled. Hechuckled, “Now be careful with that pizza sauce babe.” He kissed your nose,nuzzling you.

               And younever gave it back. Still to this day, you kept it, and never returned it. Youslept with it every night and wore it around everywhere. Mikey kept yours too.After cleaning it off, even if it didn’t smell like you anymore, it still feltlike a piece of you. In fact, he was more of the hoodie stealer than you.

               And younever talked about it, just rolled with it. Neither of you asked for it back,and so you kept them. It was perfectly fine anyways, Mikey didn’t want to giveyours up.

Donatello

WARNING: BLOOD

             You were helping Donnie out in hislab, sitting on his desk and swinging your legs back and forth, passing himtools every now and then and not really saying that much, just listening to himramble on. He loved to talk, that boy. He could talk your head off all dayabout copolymers and what not. The nerd wasn’t watching you as you toyed aroundwith one of his tools, a particularly sharp one.

               Youaccidentally cut yourself, gasping and dropping it. You now had a gash the sizeof a snack size pringles can across your forearm, blood leaking into yourhoodie, which now was ripped. “Agh! Don!” You yelped, taking off your hoodie atonce. He quickly stood up, and ran for the first aid kit. “Ah, babe, you gottabe more careful. Don’t play with knives.” He said, returning and quickly wipingup your arm and cleaning it.

               “I don’tthink you’ll need any stitches, its not that bad, hun.” He said, wrapping thebandages around your arm and pressing a kiss to it. “Hey, it’s gonna bealright.” Donnie whispered, seeing that you had small tears forming in the cornersof your eyes. He hugged you, pulling you close to his chest. “You had meworried you cut an artery, baby. Im not mad. Does it hurt? Is there anything Ican do for you?” He asked, brushing his hands through your hair.

               “Youcould let me borrow your hoodie? Mine is kinda ruined now.” You sniffled, andhe nodded, retrieving it for you.

               Youplaced the fuzzy hoodie over your skin, snuggling into it. It was so warm, asif it came out of the dryer or a cat laid on it. You smiled up at him, “thankyou!” And then you two returned back to work, and fell asleep togetherafterwards.

               Donnielet you keep his hoodie, but he was somewhat shocked when you started stealinghis other ones. Man, he loved those hoodies, but for you, he’d let it slide.

               “Why doyou keep stealing them?” He chuckled, and you only replied with a soft “warm”and then continued to do your thing.

[purplesurveys]

537

when's the last time you ate a pickle? I HATE pickles. The last time I ate one was a few years ago, it was accidental and it was because I didn’t know McDonald’s put pickles in their burgers ugh bleck. what's that you're listening to? Undeniable by The Bouncing Souls has been playing in my head all evening so I’m going to play it for real right after this question. was the last thing you drank a coke or pepsi product? It was neither. It’s just water. what are your pets’ names? I have just one dog; his name is Kimi and he was named after the F1 person cos my dad is a fan of the sport. do you need to take a smoke break right now? I’ve never needed one.

have you ever had a pet bird? We had a couple of lovebirds 8-9 years ago. They were really cute and sweet. honestly, do you think that you're going to be an overprotective parent? Probably when my kids are still younger, yeah. But I’d eventually wanna be the cool and chill parent and allow them to go on sleepovers and chip in when they want to go on out-of town/country trips with their friends. what was the last kind of chips you ate? They were like barbecue-flavored Pringles or something. Tina bought it to school last week and apparently it’s only sold in Dubai and it’s CRAZY GOOD. tell me the birthdates of everyone in your top friends. I don’t have top friends, but my best friends’ birthdays are on September 15 and June 5. would you rather have ice cream, freeze pops, or popsicles in the summer? Popsicles! what kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? A serious one. have you ever told a stranger that their barn door was open? Hahahaha are you referring to zippers? No, but that’s because I haven’t seen an open zipper on a stranger yet. I’ve told friends, though. what color are your toenails right now? They are not painted. when was the last time you clipped your nails? A month ago. I def should cut them soon. does your mouse have a wheel to scroll with? I don’t like using a mouse. what is your biggest accomplishment in life? Getting into UP, by far. click on a myspace bulletin and scroll to the main bottom - what's it say? what is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don't? Calculus.

what were your grades on the last report card you recieved? I hit a bit of a bump last semester because I took two classes that turned out to be big bitches – the grades turned to be pains in my ass, too. Luckily, I loved the five other classes I took and it showed in my grades, so I still ended up in the dean’s list in the end. what temperature do you like to keep your room at? 20-21ºC sounds perfect. what's your favorite department in lowes? In what? have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? My mom didn’t believe in tutors just cos she was confident I could handle my studies on my own lmao. I dunno if it counts as tutor, but I used to help my brother with homework when he was in preschool. would you rather wear necklaces, bracelets, rings, or earrings? Necklaces > earrings > bracelets > rings. pretty, bright, fake jewelry or boring, plain, real jewelry? Boring and real. Am all for simplicity. where did you receive your last receipt from? It was the receipt from the parking fee at the mall I went to last Monday. what was the last thing you said outloud (singing doesn't count)? ”Uh huh” or something like that. is everything you have on actually yours? Yeah, the shorts I have on are mine. when was the last time you wore a band-aid and why? Many months ago. I don’t even remember; it was probably a cut on my finger. do you like ketchup or mustard better with your corn dogs? Neitherrrrrr. I hate ketchup and the Filipino tongue just doesn’t appreciate corndogs.

do you ever just randomly drive around when you're upset about something? No. That sounds ideal, but 1) traffic is a huge problem here and I’d spend more time frustrated at it than dealing with my emotions, and 2) gas is expensive :((((( you look at the clock and it's 4:44 PM, what do you do? I don’t know. a trip to california, the bahamas, new york, wisconsin, utah, or canada? Utah > New York > Canada > Wisconsin > Bahamas. what would you do if you discovered that you had a 7 year old kid? Ask what the fuck happened when I was 14. moon sand or play doh? Is moon sand like kinetic sand? Because I’m all over that shit. what was the last act of creativity you displayed? We had to make an infographic for one of my classes two weeks ago. do you like the way your hair looks right now? I don’t mind it since I’m at home, but I know I need a shower. do you ever find yourself just writing/typing out your feelings? Yes. That’s what surveys are for, at least for me. if so, does that make you feel better? It does, somehow. It helps that I get to let it out of my system. whose house were you at last, besides your own? Gabie’s, I think. any big plans for this summer? Find a joooooooooob. are you missing school yet? I’m already in it. play guitar, drums, keytar, xbox, sims, sing, or take a dance class? I play the Sims, sometimes. what's your favorite department in wal-mart? I’ve never been to Walmart.

[extractodehermione]

I

really want chicken nuggets

[mashumiwu]

I saw you @ me by coincidence cause it didn't actually tag me but I mean 👀 you can do all of them heheheehhe

B R U H-

0:Height

I'm a smol 4'11

1:Virgin?

I'm so fucking young, yes

2:Shoe size

I'm like a size 3 1/2 or 4, depending on the type of shoe

3:Do you smoke?, 4:Do you drink?, 5:Do you take drugs?

Hell no

6:Age you get mistaken for

A fucking 6th grader (average age 11-13)

7:Have tattoos?

Nope

8:Want any tattoos?

Probably a small one...?

9:Got any piercings?

If you count ear piercings? Yeah

10:Want any piercings?

I want a second ear piercing

11:Best friend?

My lil' veit group at school, @ayeateez and @bustdownyunho (there's something wromg with my tags right now idk?)

12:Relationship status

Single pringle 🤭🥴

13:Biggest turn ons,14:Biggest turn offs

None

15:Favorite movie

There's so many!! I can't pick!

16:I’ll love you if

Idk

17:Someone you miss

Woojin, Wonho, Hwall, Mingi, Jungwoo

18:Most traumatic experience

Probably last night

19:A fact about your personality

I'm weird and loud and cold ont he outside, but really I care about everyone

20:What I hate most about myself

My eyes and personality

21:What I love most about myself

My talents

22:What I want to be when I get older

Dance instructor or singer

23:My relationship with my sibling(s)

I mean, I only have a baby brother-

24:My relationship with my parent(s)

Ok ig...

25:My idea of a perfect date

Hmm...star gazing or walking ar the park hand in hand talking about random things??

26:My biggest pet peeves

When I get interrupted when I was the first one to talk or when I raise my hand to get permission to talk or get out of my seat and end up being ignored >://

27:A description of the girl/boy I like

28:A description of the person I dislike the most

Mean anon: #extra, vvv uncomfortable to be around with, very rude or nice depending on the person

29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend

It's either cuz I don't like them, I don't trust them, or my brain is just asleep?

30:What I hate the most about work/school

Having 4th and 7th period classes with mean anon

31:What your last text message says

"When my roomie ate my kiwi, I cried while watching" -Millie

32:What words upset me the most

"Stop being so annoying!" or "You didn't do it right!"

33:What words make me feel the best about myself

"Good job!" or "You tried your best!"

34:What I find attractive in women, 35:What I find attractive in men

A kind and gentle personality is all i look for

36:Where I would like to live

Asia or back in Vietnam

37:One of my insecurities

I have insecurities about my body and sometimes my talents

38:My childhood career choice

It was a doctor or nurse or something in the medical field lol

39:My favorite ice cream flavor

Mint Chocolate!

40:Who wish I could be

Shu Hua (IDLE)

41:Where I want to be right now

Next to my crush who cares about me and would do anything and everything to cheer me up

42:The last thing I ate

I didn't eat anything yet?

43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

Uhm...Hongjoong 🤭🤭

44:A random fact about anything

Nearly three percent of the ice in Antarctic glaciers is penguin urine.

[obviousartist]

So no one asked for this but here it is

this is so random gosh

@luxet​

Questions in bold

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify ‘till the end!

Is your room messy or clean?

It would probably surprise people, but it’s so dang messy.

What color are your eyes?

Brown.

Do you like your name? Why?

I don’t know, I feel like it’s kind of overused because I know a ton of people with the same name.

What is your relationship status?

Single pringle! Although some people are trying to set me up. So far, no progress, which is fine by me.

Describe your personality in 3 words or less.

Dude, I died.

I know that’s not a real description, but I’m a HUGE pessimist, and I use that sentence too much, I should probably stop, but dude, I actually died, though.

What color hair do you have?

Brown.

What kind of car do you drive? Color?

Non car = non couleur

Where do you shop?

Where DO I shop? When was the last time I went shopping?

Edit: okay so I went shopping today. At Harris Teeter. Is this asking where I like food shop or where I clothes shop?

How would you describe your style?

Dude, I don’t have a style. I am soooooooooo style-less. I don’t know, though, because Buzzfeed (not an accurate source) always says I’m a hipster. Although, it also says I’m 50, which I can assure you, I am not.

Favorite social media account.

TUMBLRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What size bed do you have?

Twin. But I should really get a new one.

Any siblings?

One annoying as f**k brother.

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why?

Great Britain. Lots of culture, and they speak English too. Or NYC. Also much culture and BROADWAY, GUYS. BROADWAY!

Favorite Snapchat filter?

Non Snapchat = non filter

Favorite makeup brand(s)

I wear makeup like twice a year, okay? IDK.

How many times a week do you shower?

Usually every day, but I only wash my hair three/four times a week.

Favorite TV show?

I mean, Ellen is great, right?

Shoe size?

You can’t laugh. It’s a 4/4.5 women’s.

How tall are you?

We are now 5’2”. I know, shorty here.

Sandals or sneakers?

Sneakers. My nails look like trash.

Do you go to the gym?

Sometimes. Not usually, though, because I do many other physical activities already, so it’s not really helpful to wear myself out if I have to dance the next day or something.

Describe your dream date.

Ok. As a forever single pringle, I don’t really know (as of now). But. I will say that a serious creative something would be actually really nice. Not like painting class. But like reading. Performances. Things like that. Even movies (although the book is probably better).

How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

Kid, I’m broke. Haha. #liveswithparents

What color socks are you wearing?

I am currently barefoot, as I like it.

How many pillows do you sleep with?

Two. Deux. Dos. Due. Duo.

Do you have a job? What do you do?

No job here.

How many friends do you have?

I don’t know. I have my best friends and then I have my friends and then I have my kind of friends and then I have my acquaintances. I know a lot of people. I don’t like a lot of them.

What’s the worst thing you have ever done?

I don’t know. Not for me to judge.

What’s your favorite candle scent?

Vanilla.

3 favorite boy names

Alex, Jordan, and Eden.

3 favorite girl names

Alex, Elizabeth, and Jordan. Big fan of unisex names.

Favorite actor?

I don’t knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Why did I start this, this is very hard?

Favorite actress?

Emma Watson. That one’s easy.

Who is your celebrity crush?

We’re still sorting that out; hold on. ONE ETERNITY LATER . . .

Favorite movie?

The Parent Trap? The Sound of Music? IDEK ok?

Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?

Of course I read a lot. STOP ASKING ME TO CHOOSE MY FAVORITE CHILD. THERE IS NONE.

Money or brains?

I have neither, but if I got to choose money or brains, I would definitely choose brains.

Do you have a nickname? What is it?

No nickname. I guess I’m just not that kind of person.

How many times have you been to the hospital?

I regret to say a few.

Top 10 favorite songs

You’re really in for it, guys. I’m Not Famous - AJR Me Too - Meghan Trainor Uma Thurman - Fall Out Boy Nightmare - Halsey Boy With Luv - BTS If I Can’t Have You - Shawn Mendes I Don’t Care - Ed Sheeran SOS - Avicii Summer on You - PRETTYMUCH Kiss and Make Up - Dua Lipa Summer - Calvin Harris

Others include:

Bloom - Troye Sivan

You Need To Calm Down - Taylor Swift

Do you take any medications daily?

I take vitamin D/calcium supplements. Not medication, but okay.

What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

A what what a what what what? I’m guessing oily?

What is your biggest fear?

Scaredy cat here, so I’ve got a lot of fears. I fear failure and being unwanted, though.

How many kids do you want?

Two. Deux. Dos. Duo.

What’s your go to hair style?

Ponytail.

What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

Medium, I guess?

Who is your role model?

Emma Watson. Misty Copeland. Our female leaders leading change in the world.

What was the last compliment you received?

Uhm. I have no idea, man. I don’t even remember when it was.

What was the last text you sent?

No texting, but I do Skype. “Look kid idk but u said bye so ur loss”

How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real?

I had had my suspicions. But I don’t know who it actually was, and it is driving me kind of mad. I can assume it was my parents.

What is your dream car?

Honda Civic. Very sleek, not overly expensive.

I feel so boring.

Opinion on smoking?

DON’T FREAKING DO IT! I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SMOKE. DON’T DO IT!

Do you go to college?

One day, my friends. One day.

What is your dream job?

Photographer? Editor? I don’t even know, okay?

Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

Suburbs. You don’t have to drive really far to get somewhere, but it’s still kind of calm.

Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Yes. Always.

Do you have freckles?

Nope. Zero. Nada.

Do you smile for pictures?

Sometimes.

How many pictures do you have on your phone?

No phone, but I have a crap ton on my computer.

Have you ever peed in the woods?

Yeah. It was awful.

Do you still watch cartoons?

Non, merci.

Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Can I not eat either?

Favorite dipping sauce?

Soy sauce. Or sesame oil, depending on what food it is.

I’ll settle for ranch for some vegetables.

What do you wear to bed?

Sweatpants/shorts and a T-Shirt/cami.

Have you ever won a spelling bee?

No, I wish.

What are your hobbies?

I play piano and I dance. I also die, but we don’t talk about that.

Can you draw?

I’m decent, I guess. No. I’m awful.

Do you play an instrument?

Piano and viola. DON’T @ ME ABOUT PLAYING THE VIOLA.

What was the last concert you saw?

My school orchestra concert.

Tea or coffee?

Water. Orange juice. Neither.

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Starbucks.

Do you want to get married?

Oui oui.

What is your crush’s first and last initial?

Uhm. Okay. So. SD.

Are you going to change your last name when you get married?

I don’t know. Depends on their last name.

What color looks best on you?

Black/navy blue.

Do you miss anyone right now?

My mom went somewhere (not disclosing) and my friends from school because it’s summer.

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Shut. Always. I have a brother. And a cat.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Non.

What is your biggest pet peeve?

People chewing with their mouths open. Ew.

Jeez I have so many, we’ll just say that for now.

Last person you called?

My mom.

Favorite ice cream flavor?

Vanilla. I promise I’m not boring.

Regular Oreos or golden Oreos?

GOLDEN!!!!

Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Rainbow.

What shirt are you wearing?

An old Battle of the Books T-shirt from school.

What is your phone background?

No phone, but my computer background is an image of the Slytherin common room.

Are you outgoing or shy?

I am selectively outgoing.

Do you like it when people play with your hair?

I don’t know because no one touches it.

Do you like your neighbors?

I don’t know my neighbors. There’s this family that moved in and I’ve seen like two kids. Once on the day they got here. Another time when one of them was mowing the lawn. I don’t know them.

Do you wash your face? At night? In the morning?

At night.

Have you ever been high?

Non, merci.

Have you ever been drunk?

Non, merci.

Last thing you ate?

Peaches and apples.

Favorite lyrics right now.

STOP MAKING ME CHOOSE MY FAVORITE CHILD.

But: “Shade never made anyone less gay,” Taylor Swift - You Need To Calm Down

Summer or winter?

Summer.

Day or night?

Night. It’s currently 10:48 PM over here.

Dark, milk, or white chocolate?

White chocolate all the way.

Favorite month?

August.

What is your zodiac sign?

Leo.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I don’t know, okay? Probably my mom, though, knowing me.

I’m so boring.

Thank you so much for reading all of the sh*t I wrote up there.