#and my best friend said she’s not comfortable talking about my mental state like that

[faggatini]

hate it hate it hate it

[borathae]

The Consequences of Fucking Up

“Your break up was messy and painful. All you want to do is to forget about him. His friends, who ever since you ended it with Yoongi see you as their bullying target, make sure that the memory of him stays fresh in your mind however, haunting you day by fucking day. While Yoongi makes it seem as if he gives no fuck about your situation. Until one night he is in front of your door. Drunk and fucking regretful.”

♥️ Requested by anonie ♥️

Pairing: Gangster!Yoongi x f.Reader

Genre: Exes!AU, Messy Break-Up!AU, Crime!AU, Cop!AU, Hurt and Comfort, Angst, Smut, a lil bit of Fluff

Wordcount: 15.9k

Warnings: lowkey they're bad for each other, but also somehow so right?, OC is such a people hater, I feel like she has mental health issues which are never addressed tbfh, she is quite the pessimist, unhealthy consumption of alcohol, smoking of cigarettes & weed (listen. i hate smoking and stand by that but it sadly fits their characters), Yoongi is kinda apathetic and cold, or is he??, IS HE???, implied violence and murder, corrupt cops & lawyers, policeman!Jungkook makes an appearance and he stole my heart tbfh :(, he is so cute that i almost sobbed, drugdealer!Hoseok makes an appearance too, there is also detective!Namjoon and smuggler!Taehyung because I love this vibe :); abuse of power, fuck Yoongi just fuck he is so ngngn, slightly protective & possessive!Yoongi, intoxicated sex, desperate!Yoongi, no foreplay, but she is not uncomfortable, choking (m.receiving), rough desperate sex, position change from sex against a sofa to missionary on said sofa, a lil bit of strength kink hihi, he cums too soon, dirty talk, tears :'), he is actually so emotional during the sex, the ending is so cheesy and cute <3, Spoiler: he is willing to change!! and he is a cutie actually, jsjsjsj sorry but i love yoongi a lot :(

Disclaimer: This is purely fiction and isn't like my usual stories. It does not portray how the boys actually are and it is not how I see them. This is a work of fiction with no correlation to real life. The type of relationships depicted in this story are far from how I normally portray my relationships and I do not advertise for such relationhips or staying in such relationships. This story is supposed to be twisted and dark & so are the relationships in it, as well as the characters. You have been warned. If you decide to continue reading, then it is out of your own free will.

a/n: now that the disclaimer is out of the way i can officially bark because woof woof fuckkcc anonie thank you so much for this idea. i had the worst and best time writing this story like nfnfnf her mental state was definitely very difficult to write, but their tension just got to me. i made the ending as cute and fluffy as possible just as you wanted hihi <3 also i love villian characters who would set the whole world on fire just to prove their dedication :) i hope this is what you imagined, because i kinda made it longer and with more plot than i planned to at first sjjsjs i couldn't be stopped jsjsj ALSO this is giving me the perfect opportunity to finally write a Kook request I got years ago ohoho

Yoongi collides with the wall, feeling the cold nuzzle of the gun press against his chin. He drops the keys and flowers he was carrying, lifting his hands in defeat.

“Careful, it’s just me”, he lulls.

“Get the fuck out of my house”, you spit, carrying murder in your eyes. 

Three months prior

“So you’re breaking up with me?” he asks, gawking at you with widened eyes. He looks more surprised than he does hurt. Probably because it hasn’t actually sunk in yet.

“I am.”

“No, you’re not.” He laughs because he never takes anything seriously.

“Yes. I am.”

“Too bad, I won’t act like it.”

“Yeah, you will.”

He laughs, “you’ve had better jokes, but I still admire the commitment.”

“You see. That’s the problem with you. Everything’s a fucking joke to you.”

He is smiling. It reaches his eyes.

“Your job, your men. Me. Everything’s a fucking joke to you. If you would have taken Sukuna’s thread seriously, Soojin would still be alive. If you didn’t fucking insult Miss Mei, you wouldn’t have lost twenty thousand in drugs and you wouldn’t have to fucking kiss asses like a beggar.”

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes anymore.

“If you would have put any kind of effort into me, I wouldn’t be leaving now. You take everything as a joke, while in reality you are the biggest joke here.”

His smile falls. You stood up and that actually scared him. 

“Wait baby, wait. Princess, we can talk about this”, he argues, closing the distance with his arms stretched open. “I’ll fix the issue with Miss Mei, I promise.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m done talking. Soojin died because of your recklessness.” 

Yoongi touches your hands. He holds them, clutches them. You have never felt such a touch from him before. As if he actually loved you. 

“What can I do? Tell me and I’ll do it”, he offers, caressing your knuckles. 

This is what you craved for months. Affection. Attention. You were always a passing thought to him. Something to fuck and possess. Something low maintenance like all his other shit. His current touch almost makes you want to stay because for the briefest moment, your breaking heart wants to believe that he finally changed. 

But you know better. He doesn’t take you seriously and if you stay, you will one day end up like Soojin. Metaphorically or not, you will end up dead because of him. 

“There is nothing you can do. Sorry.”

You slip out of his touch.

“Baby”, Yoongi follows you with panicked eyes, trying to touch you again.

“Goodbye, Min Yoongi.”

“Please don’t leave me.”

You close the door and run, finally letting the tears escape. 

You love him.

You always have and perhaps always will. 

You don’t want to leave, but know that staying will kill you. 

One week passes. You spent it holed up in your small, shitty apartment, crying your heart out. Yoongi was the best and worst thing that ever happened to you and you miss him. You hate that you miss him. Because he was way worse than he was good. 

He was never abusive. He was a violent man to anyone but you. You, he always touched with utmost care. At you, he never screamed. But he was still not good. He was cold and apathetic at times, then terribly affectionate at others, only to become cold again. And you couldn’t take it anymore. 

You wouldn’t have left your apartment today if your fridge hadn’t been empty. It wasn’t always empty, but sadly enough, groceries don’t magically appear. Not even for an outlaw such as yourself.

The city is busy. The smell of street food, smog and body odor poisons the air. The weather is hot these days and people started sweating more. You can’t stand people. You pull the mask tighter around your nose, hoping to shield the stench this way. 

You greet the clerk when you enter the shop, lowering your mask. It smells of grocery store in here. Fresh bread, produce and clean floors. It’s a welcome change to the rancid outside.

You spent fourty minutes in the shop and pay with cash. You never pay with card because it can be traced. Someone like you can’t risk being found. 

“See you”, you say your goodbyes and leave the store. You plan on coming back in three weeks. You can’t stand being outside often.

The door just about closed behind you and then someone jumps you. Three people to be more exact. Two hold your arms while one rips the bags out of your hands. 

“Let go! Hey, you fuckers!” you fight them off instantly, surprised at how easily it is to do. Way too easy. They let go of you as quickly as they grabbed you. At first you think that nothing happened, until you notice your grocery bags in one of the guys’ hands. They stole your stuff!

“You motherfuckers! Get back here! They’re mine!” 

They run away, flipping you off over their shoulders.

You sprint after them, but before you reach them, they jump onto a tuk tuk and drive off, finally showing you their faces. Those were some of Yoongi’s underlings.

“What the fuck?” You stumble back in disbelief. “Did they fucking steal my food? What the fuck’s happening?” 

It takes you a while before you finally come to the conclusion that you have to buy everything they stole a second time. And you do. And nobody jumps you. And you go home, make yourself shitty dinner and drink a bottle of soju all by yourself. It isn’t a good night. It’s a shit night. But then. All your nights have been shit for years.

You met Yoongi four years ago. It correlates with when your shit nights began. Okay, you are being unfair. The first two years with him were paradise and your nights were wonderful. You were an aspiring lawyer, while he was in the midst of getting a promotion to superintendent.  You supported each other’s dreams, motivated each other and celebrated when your goals were achieved. Then the truth spilled out. The man you knew to love turned out to be a lie. Why you never left, you do not know. He gave you the chance to leave, but you didn’t. You made yourself low maintenance to him and your nights became shit. He pretended to be a proper policeman by day while you pretended to be a proper lawyer and at night he became what he hunted by day while you tried to hide whatever evidence about him flooded into the offices. You hated it at first, then loved it, then lost your job because of it and became dependent on him and started to hate it again. Well, at least working for him. You liked everything else. Having to work in the system and seeing how corrupt even the most eligible politicians or CEOs truly are, made you realise that perhaps stealing from them isn’t as bad as it first sounded. You liked being on the dark side of the law because the bright side was just as twisted. You just simply started to hate that it means being close to Yoongi.

It took Soojin’s death to finally make you realise that staying with him will end in your death as well. And so you finally left.

You will start a new life, make up a new identity, move to a different country and forget about him. Maybe. Who knows. You haven’t decided yet.

A letter comes five days after the grocery store incident. It is stuffed into an unsealed envelope and clearly delivered by the person who wrote it. You open it, feeling shit instantly. Whoever wrote this letter is calling you the most hurtful of names, telling you personal stuff which truly hurts. You throw it away and go back inside, opening a bottle of soju. It wasn’t Yoongi’s handwriting, but somehow you still think that it is connected to him. You try not to let it get to you, but you still end up rotting away in your bed for the rest of the week only leaving it to piss, shit and eat. 

The next week your packages are missing. You never get them back. The culprit is never found. You curse the sky, knowing that it was fruitless. Yet again, you think that it was connected to him. To Yoongi, the man you wanted to forget, but who keeps haunting you day by day.

The city at night is a dangerous place. If you don’t know where to walk, you could find yourself in a rather messy situation. Especially as a woman. You are glad that most women are clever enough to stay at home once darkness greets the streets. Most women don’t know how to defend themselves though. Properly and without the law in mind. You killed before. Once. It was self defence. Yoongi took care of the body, you never found out what happened to it. He stayed with you the night it happened, even let you cry in his arms. He was gone the next day and never spoke of it again.

You clutch the big knife tightly in your bag, scanning the streets constantly. It isn’t far anymore until you are home. Hopefully the heavy rain clouds stay dry until you get there. You aren’t in the mood to get wet. Not tonight. You would have never left if you hadn’t ran out of fucking cigarettes. The kiosk was closed, so the journey was useless. Thunder announces that the clouds aren’t your friends. Mere seconds later, it starts pouring.

“Fucking shit, I hate this city.”

Rain in this city is always dirty and never really cold. You take it as a bad sign. Rain shouldn’t be warm. Not always, not constantly. Something’s wrong with this city. Something is rotting slowly until one day it will consume everything in its wake. You hope to have left before it can wake up.

The way home is too long for the amount of dirty rain it pours. You find refuge under a shop sign. There are no rooftops or canopies in sight and the only thing close to a safe place was the stupid restaurant sign. Authentic Asian Beef Noodles, it reads in bright red letters. The place is stuffed with people and the smell of beef broth mixes with the dirty scent of rain. You grind your teeth. What a shitty situation you find yourself in. You prefer being outside though. You know that once inside, the restaurant would be hot and stink of digested booze and body odor. You take getting wet over breathing in people’s air.

Except that you don’t really stay wet for long. The distinct sound of rain hitting an umbrella meets your ears. You look up. Black. You look to the side at the person holding it. Yoongi. Your stomach twists, your heart skips a beat. He is wearing a suit tonight. Black with a black tie. His hair is slicked back. He used makeup to  conceal the scar running all the way from his forehead over his eye and down half his cheek. This is his work outfit. His police chief outfit. Yes. He is a chief these days.

Your instincts tell you to leave without saying anything, but it’s been six weeks since the breakup and you still love him. You hate that you do, but can’t stop staring at his face. He has his brows raised in a nonchalant way as he inspects the heavy rain. He doesn’t grant you eye contact, but holds the umbrella in a way which lets you know that he came out here after seeing you. His left shoulder is getting wet, while you stay dry completely.

“What are you doing here?” you hear yourself ask him.

“Work dinner. I have to pay ‘cause I’m the boss and all that shit. They’re eating like greedy pigs”, he scoffs, “fucking assholes.”

“I see.”

“You?” 

“Buying smokes.”

He finally looks at you, studying from head to toe.

“The kiosk was closed”, you answer his question about your cigarettes’ whereabouts before he can ask it.

“I thought you quit.”

“Some things happened which made me start again.”

“Mhm”, he hums and takes out a packet of cigarettes from the inside of his suit jacket. He lights himself one and puts the packet away again, leaving you to stare at the smoke he blows out through his nose.

He isn’t actually serious, is he? It is like he is mocking you. It is already bad enough that he sends his stupid goons to terrorise you, now he is mocking you as well? You hate that you still love him.

You stay like this for a while. You staring at him while he holds the umbrella for you and smokes. You don’t know why you stay. You hate that you love him. You hate it so much.

Yoongi takes a long drag of the cigarette and exhales the smoke in an almost sigh-like breath. He lifts the cigarette, holding it closer to you.

“What?” you sound disbelieved, scandalised even.

He doesn’t say anything. He just shows you the cigarette as his eyes follow the endless rain. You hate that you love him. You hate it so much. But you still take the cigarette and put your lips right where he had his’ moments before. But you still smoke it as if it was the most normal thing to do. Because it once was. You and he shared many smokes in the past. It was once the most sensual, erotic thing to do between you and him. Barely clothed, intoxicated minds and high on the other, you often shared a joint as you got each other off. Fuck, it was always so fucking orgasmic to be with him that way.

“Wanna grab a bite?” he offers, pointing at the restaurant behind him, “one more mouth to feed isn’t gonna ruin me.”

You are hungry. You haven’t had a proper meal in weeks. Instant ramen, frozen food and snacks is all your body has to run on. You have no energy to cook and with how shitty you eat, it is a vicious cycle. Shitty food gives little energy, you already have low energy. The motivation to properly cook grows lower and lower each day. You dread the day you have only enough energy left to open a package of chips and eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

“I’m not hungry.”

He glances at you. He knows that you are lying. Your eyes have greyed in starvation. He almost rips the cigarette out of your fingers and smokes it angrily, huffing out the smoke. 

“I’m offering”, he hisses.

“And I’m declining. I can take care of myself”, you throw back and rip the cigarette from his grasp to smoke it angrily. 

You may be starving, but you will be damned if you make yourself dependent on him again. You left him to finally prove to yourself that you can take care of yourself. You don’t need his help. Not anymore. 

You take another deep drag, then hand the cigarette to him. He smokes it, glaring at you. You know that your stubbornness angers him.

“Tell your men to stop pestering me”, you say into the tense silence. 

He looks over his shoulder at his police team. They are too drunk and caught in conversation to pay their boss any mind.

“They’re inside”, he says.

“You know I don’t mean them. Tell your other men to stop annoying me.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yes. You do.” It is your turn to smoke. “It all started when they stole my groceries, but it’s been getting childish. My packages keep getting stolen, my internet cuts off, I find letters in my mail. Letters saying awful things about me. It’s getting ridiculous. Tell your men to stop terrorising me.”

“Stolen packages?” He takes the cigarette from you, brushing his fingers against yours as he does. The touch feels like the sweetest poison on your skin. “This doesn’t sound like my problem to solve. Go to the police.”

“Are you serious?” 

He inhales, exhales the smoke into your face. You should be disgusted by it, but almost huff it in like an addict. Yoongi watches your lids lower and your chest raise in a greedy breath, finding it hard not to stare at your lips as he hands you the cigarette. You smoke it. His eyes are still on your lips, glued to the shape of them as his throat runs dry.

“Very serious”, he rasps.

“You are the police”, you throw back in disbelief, exhaling the smoke into his face that way.

“Mhm yeah, I guess I am.” He takes the cigarette, smoking it with half lidded eyes. He exhales, handing you the cigarette. “When are you going to come home again?” he asks, looking back at the rain.

You almost choke on the smoke, exhaling it in a cough. Yoongi glances at you from the corner of his eyes.

“Your farce is getting ridiculous”, he says coldly.

“My farce?”

This break up wasn’t the first break up you and he went through. You left many times before, always thinking that you were finally strong enough to forget him only to come crawling back again. You don’t blame him for doubting that this time will be different, but you still can’t stop yourself from getting angry.

“Did you even hear what I said?”

“I did. Go to the police. I have nothing to do with it.”

You drop the half-finished cigarette. It dies in the puddle on the ground.

“I was smoking this”, he says dryly, “besides, don’t litter.”

“Pick it up yourself if you care so much about these dirty ass streets”, you spit and turn to leave. You take getting wet over being with him any longer.

Yoongi watches you leave, shakes his head in disbelief and bends down to pick up the cigarette. He won’t run after you because you will come crawling back eventually. You always do.

“Sir?” 

He turns his head. One of his officers. He is young and with sparkles of big dreams in his eyes. Yoongi pities him. This city is going to chew him up until there is nothing left of him. He had the same dreams once and knows what the viper nest, which is the justice system, is going to do to him. 

“What do you want?” he asks him dryly, rolling the wet cigarette between his fingers.

“Who did you talk to right now?”

“Just someone important to me.”

“Shouldn’t we escort her home? It’s raining and there could be criminals on the streets. It’s too dangerous for a woman to be alone.”

“She’ll get home safely.”

“Are you sure, Sir? I stayed sober for cases like these. I could get the car right away.”

“You’re sober?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“But it’s a work dinner. You’ve been off work for hours.”

The young officer salutes, “I know, Sir but a policeman shouldn’t slack, Sir.”

Yoongi feels deep pity for the young man. He is so motivated, so proper and full of good spirit. Waking up is going to hurt like a bitch for him.

He pats him on the shoulder.

“You’re a good person, Jeon”, he says and swerves past him to get back inside. 

The young officer follows him with pride glimmering in his innocent eyes. Yes, waking up is going to hurt like a bitch for him. 

Yoongi wasn’t always living two lives. He was like his young officer once. Full of dreams and motivation. He dreamed of using his powers to do good, to help those who needed it most and then he woke up. He watched politicians and men in power ruin, rape and kill the powerless without ever getting punished for it. He felt helpless. If even someone in his position can’t change the world, then who will? His criminal work was honourable once. He slipped evidence money under the table to hand out to the powerless, he let proof disappear for people doing crimes out of desperation. One time he was supposed to put a starving mother behind bars because she stole diapers for her babies. Yoongi couldn’t do it and so he disobeyed the law for these kinds of people.

But then his criminal work became less about the powerless and more about him. Making money the illegal way was easy and it is fucking addicting. Especially when he could make sure that evidence about him never reached the higher ups. Yoongi fucking loved the sudden power he possessed and he was too blinded by it to see that he became exactly what drove him to criminality in the first place.

Yoongi tells his officer to check up on your place that night. The young officer rings the doorbell like he was told to do.

You open it, swaying from intoxication as you do. The stench of digested booze wafts off you. But you somehow seem to sober up when you see the police badges on his shirt.

“You’ve got the wrong person”, you tell him, trying to morph your face into an expression of sobriety.

“Don’t worry, Miss. I came here to check on you.”

“Check on me?”

“Yes, Miss.” He salutes you. “I have orders from my captain to make sure that you arrived home safely and that you received this”, he says with an innocent smile on his lips, presenting a plastic bag to you. 

Authentic Asian Beef Noodles, it reads in red letters and inside, three big takeout containers of food are waiting to be eaten. 

Everything clicks into place. This is one of Yoongi’s employees. Another young, hopeful spirit which will be crushed in the system. You pity the young officer. You had the same innocent sparkle in your eyes once.

Hesitantly, you accept the takeout food.

“Thanks”, you mumble.

“Any time, Miss.” He studies you for a moment. “Are you…are you okay, Miss?”

You bite back tears. His empathy is going to kill him one day. But it feels so good to receive. You haven’t been asked this question in so long.

You shake your head. He straightens up in worry. 

“Should I call help for you, Miss?”

You know what he indicates.

“Thank you, no. I’m just going through some shit. Sorry, I’m being sappy tonight.”

“You don’t have to go through it alone, Miss.”

“I know. I’m just… I’m seriously alright, I won’t do anything stupid. You don’t have to worry, officer.” 

“Yes, well I still see it as my duty to stay because you seem sad to me”, he says and tries to go inside your apartment. He still has a lot to learn. You know from his eyes that he has no bad intentions and that he truly wants to help, but you know how the city will treat such deeds. One day he will try to help the wrong person and end up with attempted sexual assault charges. And it will fucking destroy him because people like him only see the good in the world and can’t imagine that others would want to hurt people.

You stop him with a guiding hand on his chest.

“That isn’t necessary, really. My packages keep getting stolen and I guess it’s been annoying me.”

He pulls out a pen paper instantly, stepping closer to you without noticing, “your packages? Have you seen anyone suspicious? How many packages have gone missing? When did it start?”

“No, I… Thank you for your concern and the food, but I will get through the night safely.”

He steps back, cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

“Forgive me, I don’t know why I did that. My captain said that you were important to him and that I should make sure that you are well, so I wanted to do a good job at it.” He bows at you deeply. “Please forgive me, Miss.” 

“He said that?” you whisper.

He nods his head, “yes, Miss.”

“Oh. Uhm. ” You clear your throat. “Thank you, I, uhm, tell him that I’m good.” 

“I will, Miss. Here, my card. You can always call me when you need something” he hesitates, “or when you just need someone to talk to.” 

“Thank you. This is so kind.”

“You are never alone, Miss.”

“Thank you”, you say, bowing at him. He is so kind. God, you want to grab him and tell him to run before it’s too late.

He bows as well, “good night, Miss.”

“Good night.”

You watch him leave. He gives you one last look out of the police car and a kind wave, then drives off. 

You close the door with a curse. This just sobered you up. The young policeman’s kindness just sobered you up. You check his name on the card he handed you. Jeon Jungkook. Why someone like him? He never should have found his way into this field of work. 

You look at the takeout food next, feeling your stomach twist. You are important to Yoongi. Holy fuck.

It’s been eight weeks since you left him. You don’t feel better. The cigarette you shared was two weeks ago and yet you still feel as if it was sticking to your lungs. Each time you breathe out, you swear you can taste him. It almost suffocates you and keeps you from relaxing. So you leave your depressing place for a walk to the kiosk. You read somewhere that walks are good for one’s mental health. You can’t agree. Walks force you to be outside where people are loud and fucking stink.

The vendor must be fucking with you. The day is bright, but the kiosk is closed again. You bang your fist against the closed door, cursing loudly. You want your fucking smokes is that too much to ask? This city is fucking shit.

You’ll just call someone who will always help. You saved him as Jay. His real name is Hoseok. You don’t say his real name in public. He doesn’t say yours. Yoongi sometimes called him his best friend, but what is such a title out of the mouth of the most apathetic man you know? You were his girlfriend too and look at where this has gotten you, living as an outlaw in the shit and dirt of this city.

Like always, Hoseok lets the phone ring four times then he picks up.

“Flames are hot”, he says.

“And the arsonist works hard”, you answer him.

“Hyacinth, it’s good to hear your voice”, there is finally a smile in his voice now that you answered the code correctly.

“The same goes for you, Jay.”

“What’s up? I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

“Nothing much. I’m out of smokes.”

“The corner in twenty?”

“Yeah.”

You and he end the call at the same time. Twenty minutes later you meet. He wears black overalls and smudged eyeliner. He says it keeps the char easier to hide. Like always, he greets you with a quick hug.

“What do you got?” you ask him.

“Whatever you want.” He opens his bag. “I’ve got cigarettes, but something stronger too”, he says, scurrying around the contents of the bag with his fingers. He always has burn marks on them, but somehow they are never dirty.

“What do fifty bucks buy?”

“For you? Two packs of cigarettes and two joints. That’s a steal.”

“Fuck dude, you’re getting expensive.”

“Yeah well, a man’s gotta eat.”

“Fine, I’ll take it.”

You and he exchange goods. He makes small talk.

“But why are you here with me? Did Suga run out of goods?”

Suga is Yoongi’s codename in public. The sound of it almost brings bile into your throat. You did such a good job in forgetting him and now the memory of him is as fresh as a new day. At least you like to pretend that you are doing a good job at forgetting him. Your heart knows better though.

“We, uhm…”

Hoseok exhales sharply, “again?”

You nod your head.

“When?”

“More than two months ago.”

“Damn, that’s long.”

“Yeah, I’m serious about it.”

He cocks his brow up.

“I am”, you insist just a little snappishly.

“Alright”, he closes his bag, “I gotta go now.”

“Already?”

He looks around nervously. Almost as if he didn’t want to be seen with you.

“Yup. Use the stuff wisely, I won’t have new stuff for a while.”

“Seriously?”

He nods his head and salutes you nonchalantly.

“See you around.”

“See…you?”

He turns his back to you and walks off quickly, soon disappearing into the busy crowd. Is this your fate? Even the people closest to you avoid you now that you aren’t Yoongi’s anymore? Were you truly only worth something as his little thing? You ball your hands into fists, bending the joints this way. You have to leave this fucking place. There is actually nothing holding you here anymore.

That night the phone terror starts. Numbers keep calling you over and over and over again. You pick up the first time, only to have to listen to the most hurtful things another human has ever said to you. The voice wasn’t Yoongi’s, but you still blame him. Now that you aren’t his thing anymore, you became free food to whoever had been waiting to make your life a living hell. You turn off your phone after an hour and go to sleep with the help of Hoseok’s joints.

The doorbell wakes you the next morning. You consider not answering because it’s probably just one of his goons wanting to terrorise you. But whoever is ringing the doorbell is stubborn, forcing you out of your bedroom. You look through the door cam first.

That young officer. He is in full uniform.

You open the door hesitantly.

“Good morning”, he greets you with a wave and a smile.

“Good morning”, you murmur. Your mouth is as dry as a fucking desert. You are also so hungry that you could throw up in his face right now.

“How are you feeling, Miss?”

“Good.”

“That’s good to hear.” He says and shows you a package which he kept hidden behind his back all this time. He smiles brightly and proudly. “Tada!”

“What’s that?”

“I caught the package thief, Miss.”

“Are you serious?” you gasp and your eyes instinctively drift to the car you have noticed parked outside your unit for days. The door is opened and someone is sitting in the backseat. He looked cuffed to the seat. You glance at the young officer and the shiteating, proud grin he is sporting. He has been watching you? Did Yoongi tell him to?

“Wait. You’re actually serious.”

“Very serious. For you, Miss”, he says and shoves the package into your face.

“Uhm, uh. Thanks”, you accept it, putting it under your arm. “Have you been watching me?”

“Did you notice the car? Sorry, I thought that I was better hidden. I’m still new to all of this. But I caught the thief, heh.” He points at himself with his thumbs. “That’s my first real arrest.”

He manages to drag an honest smile to your lips. He is kind of adorable in a way.

“That’s cool. Thank you for taking care of it. Now I’ve got nothing to worry about anymore.”

He grins and nods his head, studying your features afterwards. He opens his mouth.

“Jeon are you there? Over”, his walkie talkie interrupts whatever he wanted to ask you. He takes it off his chest harness.

“I’m here, Kim Sir. Over.”

“Come to the precinct. We need reinforcements. Over.”

“Coming right away, Sir. I caught a thief right now, Sir. Over.”

A pause where the higher officer is definitely baffled by his confession.

“Good job, Jeon. Over.”

The young officer giggles before he speaks again, doing so as seriously as possible.

“Thank you, Kim Sir. I am taking the criminal to the precinct. Over.”

“Understood. Over.”

He puts the walkie talkie back on its harness and gives you a sorry smile.

“That was my boss. My other boss, not your friend who is the boss of this boss. Anyways. I have to go now, duty calls. Are you going to be okay, Miss?”

“I am. Thank you for your kindness.”

“Anytime, Miss. Uhm, have a good day”, he says and leaves with a wave of his hand. He waves again as he drives off. You retort it, staring at his car until it disappears behind a corner. You sigh deeply. He is so nice. Why someone like him? Why does this life always find people like him?

It’s been ten weeks since you left him. You read somewhere that walks are good for your mental health. You still can’t agree. Walks force you to be outside where people are still loud and still fucking stink. But it’s better than staying in your apartment. You’ve got new neighbours since Monday. They keep fucking like actual animals. They fucked when you left your place tonight. You were this close to kicking their door in and slaughtering them like pigs. You opted for a walk in the end.

You walk for a while then sit down by an empty bench next to the river. It is quiet. Nobody is really here. At least nobody important. A couple, how disgusting. A late night jogger, clearly a man. A homeless person, who uses another bench as their bed. You hate looking at homeless people because you feel helpless seeing them. You stopped being on the bright side of the law because of people like them. You thought that maybe if you stole from the corrupt men in power often enough, you would be able to help the ones who truly needed it. But you never managed to actually achieve anything. The homelessness in the city grows, while the pockets of the politicians become fatter and fatter in wealth. You fucking hate this city. It is rotten to the core.

“Look who we have here. If that isn’t our pretty little Hyacinth.”

You aren’t quick enough to get up to leave and then you already have two men throwing their arms over your shoulders while a third is grabbing the back of your head from behind. You try to reach for your knife but can’t. Their grip on you is too good.

“What are you doing here all alone?”

Their voices are familiar and one look at them confirms your suspicions. It’s them. The same three underlings who stole your groceries months ago.

“Leave me alone”, you tell them.

“Why should we? You are all alone. If the boss knew we’re leaving you alone, he’d grow angry.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Now, now don’t be like that. You’re just a girl and there are many dangerous men out there.”

You look to your side. One of them is licking their lips like a hungry animal.

“Yeah? And you’re being fucking inappropriate. Leave me alone”, you spit, shaking off their arms.

They let you. Just as they let you stand up and take your bag.

“Goodnight”, you tell them and leave. Quickly. You walk a good hundred feet until you finally dare to look over your shoulder only to realise in horror that they are following you. Quickly.

You can defend yourself. You know how to kill, but you also know when you are outnumbered. And three bigger men against a woman is sadly never going to end well for the woman. You hate this city and you hate this life. You know that their words were nothing but provocation. They know you aren’t with Yoongi anymore, that you aren’t under his protection anymore and that in some weird way, you sullied his honour. You also know how people who bring dishonour to the gangs of this city are punished. The men are murdered and the women, well, they are murdered too but not before being sullied themselves. You hate this city and you hate this life. This life which is going to fucking end for you soon.

You dare to look over your shoulder one more time. They are so close that you can see the hunger in their eyes. No. Nononononono. It can’t end like this. You were supposed to leave this city, start a new life, forget about Yoongi. You are not going to die here in this dirty, shitty park far away from your dream.

Thump.

You bounce back from the impact, letting out a blood curling scream. It was instinct. Just as it is instinct of the person you ran into to grasp you by your arms and pull you closer again.

“Let me go! Help! Help me!”

“Quiet”, the person hisses and shakes you. This voice sounded different. Familiar in an almost intimate way.

You dare to shift your eyes to them.

Yoongi.

“I, I, I”, you stutter, feeling delirious in both fear and shock. You grab his shirt, twisting it to get closer to him. The act is intimate and out-of-place but you are too frightened to think clearly. 

Yoongi brushes over the state of your glassy eyes to look over your shoulder. There are three men suddenly scurrying away, using the darkness to hide. He managed to get their faces.

He looks back at you. Your eyes meet. A little bit of clarity returns to you. What are you doing? Your fingers soften around his shirt. 

“I don’t…”

“Come on, we’re going home”, he say sternly and puts an arm around your waist, dragging you with him like this.

You follow him all the way to his car. You even let him sit you down on the passenger seat and you even stay seated when he rounds the car to get to the driver side. You think that you are in shock because you don’t protest when he starts the car, nor when he drives off. You simply stare outside with your knees turned to him because your body acts against your consciousness. The city passes you by in flashes of neon colours. His car smells like his cologne and leather. He has no music playing. 

Yoongi glances at your face. You have your head against the window, squeezing your hands between your thighs. The neon lights illuminate your features each time he passes by another light source. He can see that you are trying not to shake.

He takes a deep breath, shifting his eyes to the road. He has to grip the steering wheel, otherwise his hands would shake in anger.

“Should we get dinner?”

His voice rips you from whatever trance you were in. You sit up straight, looking at him. He is gripping the steering wheel to the point his knuckles pale. His long hair is hanging into his face tonight. A turquoise varsity jacket adorns him. His scar wasn’t hidden behind concealer. He wasn’t working his day job today. What was he doing at the park? Why was he there?

“Take me home”, you order him.

“I am.”

“No. Home. Not your place.”

“My place is your home”, he gets out through gritted teeth.

“No, it isn’t. Not anymore.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Did you see what they were doing to me?”

“No.”

You are lost for words for a moment. The tears come afterwards.

“Stop the car.”

Yoongi looks at you because your voice was shaking. He holds his breath at the sight of your tears.

“What?” he makes sure.

“Stop. The. Car. Now.”

He laughs and shakes his head.

You pull the knife out on him. He swerves to the side on instinct, fixing the mistake so vigorously, you and he shake in the small space. You don’t let it affect you, holding the knife against his skin.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hisses.

“Stop the fucking car or I’ll kill us both”, you spit, holding the knife against his throat.

“Fuck”, he growls and hits the steering wheel. The car rolls to a stop.

“Get out”, you threaten.

“I am. Fuck.”

He follows your orders because you have his life at blade’s end. He still slams the door closed. You leave the car instantly.

“What the fuck were you thinking? You could have killed us both” he tries to scold you, but you silence him.

“I’m talking now”, you roar.

Yoongi closes his mouth because he has never heard you like this before.

“You are such an asshole! Each day I regret the moment I met you! You are the worst thing that ever happened to me!”

Yoongi gulps. 

“I had a life before you. I had dreams and ambitions and, and goals and…a chance. I could have had a good life. I was supposed to use my degree to help people but you ruined everything for me.”

He rounds the car in big steps, coming so close to you that you smell his breath. It smells like chewing gum. 

“You could have achieved something? What exactly did you achieve as a lawyer? Mhm, what did you achieve? This city is fucked.”

“Yes, because you fucked it!” you hit his chest. He doesn’t budge, but also doesn’t stop you. “You fucked it and you fucked me and I hate you for it!”

“Don’t blame me for your decisions. I gave you a chance to leave me back then. You were the one who stayed.”

You inch closer until your lips are almost touching. Yoongi exhales shakily, placing his hand on your hip. 

“And I will regret this decision till the day I die”, you whisper, breaking the closeness.

You slip out of his hold. He follows you in a small stumble and a trembling gasp. 

“I never want to see you again. Are we clear?” you hiss at him.

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous, you don’t want this”, he hisses back at you.

“You’re wrong, I don’t want you. I thought I still did, but I don’t. You don’t care about me, it’s finally so fucking obvious to me. You don’t fucking care.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“They are terrorising me, Yoongi!” You finally scream. “I wake up to people ringing my doorbell in the middle of the night, I have to keep my phone turned off because the phone calls don’t stop. I keep getting my stuff stolen and, and I thought I was going to be raped tonight! They are terrorising me and you called it not your problem!”

“No, you-”

“I’ve been living in constant fear, our friends don’t even look at me anymore, I haven’t eaten in days and I can’t-”, you stop yourself. He doesn’t even deserve your anger anymore. “-you know what? Fuck this and fuck you. I’m leaving.”

You turn your back to him and leave. 

He says your name and takes your hand. He pulls, tries to turn you to him. But you rip yourself free again.

“Don’t go”, he says.

You don’t listen.

“I’m ordering you to stay”, he sounds desperate, yelling your name, “I am ordering you!” 

He can yell as much as he wants to. You don’t listen to him anymore. The subway station isn’t far. You will make an exception and take it tonight. Even if you hate it. It stinks. Just like the rest of this shitty city.

You are going to leave. Once you are home, you are going to start packing and then you are going to leave. You will call V. You don’t know his real name, but he can change your identity as quickly as others change their socks. You will call V and tell him to have your passport ready the day after tomorrow. You will pay him with the money you have under your pillow and then leave for somewhere clean. Maybe somewhere with lots of mountains. You always heard that the air at these places is breathable.

You call V the same night. He tells you that two days is too short and to wait another week. So you wait. Your bags have been packed. You live out of them in your own place. You don’t leave it. You are scared. With how little Yoongi cared about your situation, you doubt that he told his men to stop. You are scared that if you left again, they would finally go through with what they couldn’t finish back then.

The doorbell rings during a rainy, dark night. You flinch awake to the point where you feel sick to the stomach. The lights are turned on instantly eventhough you know not to do that in such a situation. You can’t think clearly. You just want this to be over. All of it.

You run to the front door because you suddenly feared that it was unlocked. It isn’t, but you can watch someone push an envelope under your door. The shadow blocking the light outside leaves the moment the letter is inside your apartment.

You don’t want to open it at first, staring at it as if someone had planted a bomb in your apartment. Fuck it, if that is how you die then so be it, you think in the end and bend down to pick it up. It feels different in your fingers. Sophisticated. Intimate. The envelope is glued closed as if someone licked the glue stripe and the faint smell of well-known cologne lingers on the paper. You open it with shaky fingers.

A letter. It is heavy and folded once. You open it, gasping when three photographs fall out of it and onto the ground. You don’t know what is on them because they landed on their face side. So you read the letter first.

“It has always been mine as well.”

Written in black ink and a familiar handwriting. This is Yoongi’s writing.

With even shakier hands, you pick up the pictures. You feel sick for a moment, gawking at the cruel pictures with your hand thrown over your mouth. The three men who terrorised you. Their mutilated corpses look back at you. He tortured them to death.

You rip the door open, stumbling onto the balcony. You look down at what tripped you. Two bags of your favourite takeout food and a six pack of water. Both clearly fresh. So it was him. Yoongi must be here somewhere. You look into the distance. The night is loud and blurry in a thunderstorm. The streets are empty. The ghost of your past is gone again. You squint your eyes. A person.

“Yoongi!” you call out, unable to realise that you are smiling and waving your hand.

The person moves. Oh. It was just the shadow of a tree. For just a moment you had hoped that the dark shape was him waiting for you. It was just a tree…and you were happy that if could have been Yoongi. The realisation hurts.

“Fuck”, you press out, going back inside. The lump in your throat makes it hard to breathe. You stumble back to bed, halting for a moment when you pass your suitcases.

It has always been mine as well. His words repeat themselves in your head. All this time, you thought that he didn’t care. All this time, you thought that your terror left him cold. Your eyes drift over the empty takeout boxes from the noodle place. You still haven’t cleaned them up. He made sure that you were properly fed for days back then. A glance at the new stuff he got tonight. He is still making sure that you are. Your eyes drift over the package next. He made sure that they stopped getting stolen. You look at the pictures in your hands. He made sure that they would never hurt you again. All this time, you were so blinded by your own anger that you missed how he had always looked out for you. You missed his way of showing you that you were important to him.

It has always been his problem as well.

Something inside you breaks and you scream. You don’t know what you scream for, but you scream. It hurts so much. It hurts so much because you will still leave. He will hurt you again if you stay. All his efforts healed your heart and it hurts so much because you will still leave. You were meant to stay broken hearted. Leaving would have been so easy this way. Now it hurts like a bitch. But you can’t sway. You have to leave this place. It will chew up what little is left of you until you truly cease to exist.

V comes to your place the next day. He rings your doorbell. It wakes you from the uncomfortable sofa you fell asleep on last night. You groan as you sit up and you barely want to open your eyes as you stumble to the door.

You open it without checking the camera first.

“Took you long en- you?”

Jungkook, the young officer, greets you with a smile.

“I swear I’m not stalking you.”

You have a headache today, so it is difficult not to snap at him. He is also not the person you wanted in front of your door today.

“I’m starting to doubt that.”

He laughs, “it’s not that. I talked to my boss. Your friend, the boss of the other boss. Sorry, anyways. I need you to come to the precinct with me.”

“What? Why?”

“Okay so, this is actually so cool and I shouldn’t even be telling you this, but you’re my boss’ friend so I guess it’s okay”, he begins with sparkling eyes, “turns out that the package thief is actually a serial thief and you aren’t the first one he stole from. Isn’t that cool? It’s like in those movies. Those cool cop movies.”

“Really? He stole from more people?” You highly doubt that.

“Yeah”, he laughs as he answers you, nodding his head excitedly, “now we’re calling in everyone who he stole from so we can take their statements. My boss says that we can’t keep the thief locked up for long otherwise.”

You know that this wasn’t really how the law works. After all, you were once a lawyer who was fucking good at her job. Is Yoongi trying to drag you back to him? First he tries to change your mind by killing your bullies and now he is trying to do the final blow by abusing his power as police chief? You check the time. Couldn’t the young officer have come later? You could have had your passport already and be far, far away from this place.

“Can I just give it to you here?” you ask him.

“Mhm”, he tilts his head to the side, “no, I don’t think that it works like this. I’m sorry, Miss. The captain said that it’s important that all the victims come into the precinct.”

You have to give Yoongi that. He is real clever about it. That means however that you can’t escape this situation. Any more resistance from you would make you suspicious.

You give up with a sigh. “Can I just change into something different?”

“Of course, Miss.”

The young officer lets you sit in the passenger seat. He is so new at all of this. With such naivety he tells you his entire life story. That he was from the countryside and that his dream has always been to be a policeman in the city. That he studied hard for years and that he completed his enlistment with honour just so he could be a proper officer. He sounds so proud of himself that each second with him makes you hate his presence more and more. He is so fucking stupid and it angers you. Why would he throw away his life like that? Why someone like him?

You are led to one of the precinct’s interrogation rooms and are told to wait there. The table is decked with different foods.

“What’s all that?” you ask Jungkook.

“Breakfast, Miss.”

“Did your captain tell you to do that?”

“He said that wanted to make sure you get your breakfast because we called you in so early. The captain really cares for the citizens.”

You stifle a scoff. Sure he does.

“Mhm, I see.”

“Either way, it won’t take long”, the young officer bids his goodbyes and leaves you in the interrogation room.

His words were a lie. You wait and wait and wait, but nothing happens. There are no clocks in this godforsaken room, but you still know that it has to be hours. You didn’t want to eat the breakfast at first, glaring at the two-way mirror because in your mind, Yoongi was behind it, watching you and making sure that you ate. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction at first, but had to in the end. The body begins working against one’s will when it is starving and the breakfast looked way too good. You eat all of it, then glare at the mirror again. You are still left alone and more time passes. It is as if they are trying to wear you down, as if you were the criminal in this situation. Granted, you are a criminal, but only Yoongi knows that and right now you are a poor civilian having done nothing wrong. You know that it’s Yoongi’s doing. That he somehow wants to terrorise you.

So when the door finally opens and he walks into the room, you almost throw the empty bowl at his head.

“Forgive the wait, Miss but something came up”, he says nonchalantly, flicking through some papers.

His second in command Kim Namjoon and the young officer Jeon Jungkook are behind him, which is why he is putting up this act. You grind your teeth.

“I already started to wonder if I’m in danger here”, you say way too sweetly.

“That depends on how you are going to answer our questions”, he says and sits down on the chair in front of you.

Jungkook stays by the door while Kim Namjoon stands a little to your side.

You look around yourself. He is trying to intimidate you.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I thought that I’m here to give my statement because of my stolen packages.”

Yoongi glances up from the papers. This is the first time your eyes meet after your fight and he killed your bullies. If only the others in this room would know how much blood he has on his hands and to which length he is willing to go to protect you. There were times where you would have dragged him over the table and kissed him senseless, but not anymore. You are stronger than your urges, even if it hurts your heart. You can’t give in again. If you do, he will take you for granted again. You won’t be happy with him. You finally have to fucking understand that.

“You’re right. You are here because of that”, he says dryly.

“Good. It started on May sixteen. I came home at around seven ten and noticed that my packages were missing. Two were stolen back then, but in total he stole eight packages”, you say and proceed to tell him the exact dates with the time as well as what was stolen.  

“You seem to know how such hearings work”, he says after he wrote down what you said.

“I had a few hours to practice what I was going to say”, you say with a poisonous smile.

One Yoongi retorts with just as much poison and a deep hum.

“Apologies again.”

“Don’t worry, I know how hard the police works at keeping this honourable city safe.”

He tongues his cheek. You give him a victorious smirk. This cut. Good. He takes a deep breath and releases it through his nose, reaching into his suit pocket to pull out a cigarette. He gets as far as to put it to his lips and then Kim Namjoon already speaks up.

“Captain. Smoking is prohibited in this building.”

“Fuck”, Yoongi presses out and takes the cigarette between two fingers to tap it against the table instead.

“Smoking is bad for you either way”, you say.

He tongues his cheek again. You know that he wants to curse at you right now, but can’t. He has to put up a friendly act.

“I know, can’t shake the habit”, he says and studies your face, “so what now?”

“Sir?” Kim Namjoon is rightfully confused. Yoongi slipped up.

“I don’t know, I was never in such a place before. Do you still need to take my information?” you act oblivious.

“We already have everything.”

“Great. Then I can go?” you ask, fluttering your lashes innocently.

“I don’t know yet.”

“Sir?” “What? Why?”

Yoongi shifts in his chair until he manspreads like an idiot. He crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“What are you going to do now?” he asks you.

“Uhm…is this still part of my hearing?” you ask, glancing at Kim Namjoon.

“No of course not, Miss. Please, follow me.”

“Sit. Down.”

The room is silent for a moment. You glare at Yoongi while Namjoon and Jungkook gawk in complete confusion. Their captain acts out of character. There is no reason to keep the innocent lady here any longer. This isn’t like him at all. He has been fidgeting all day, barely drank his coffee, went for far too many smoke breaks and now this. The officers have no explanation for their captain’s sudden behaviour.

“What is the reason for this?” you ask him.

“Just safety precautions. We wouldn’t want our honest citizen to get into danger”, he says coldly, “now answer my question. What are your plans now, Miss?”

“I will go home.”

“Where is that home?”

“Sir, I don’t know if that is necessary.”

“Shut up, Kim.”

Namjoon gulps, exchanging a confused look with Jeon Jungkook. This is really not like their captain.

Yoongi straightens up and leans forward so he is closer to you.

“Where is that home, Miss?”

You lower your eyes in anger.

“I don’t know yet, I’m planning to leave this city.”

“What?” his voice shook as he spoke. His fingers close and break the cigarette that way. His eyes almost bore holes into yours from how deeply he stares into them.

“This city’s become too depressing for me. I plan on leaving it for good.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do. There is nothing holding me here anymore.”

“Yes, there is.”

“No, there really isn’t. I will leave.”

Bang!

You flinched back. Namjoon and Jungkook tense up as well.

Yoongi slammed his hand on the table, jumping to his feet.

“No the fuck you won’t!” he yells.

“Sir? What are you doing?!”

“Excuse me? It’s my right as an honest citizen to move”, you act oblivious as well.

“Keep her here”, he talks to Jungkook, pointing at him, “lock her up and keep her here.”

“Under what pretence, Sir?” the young officer asks with widened eyes.

“I, I, I don’t know. Refusal to, to, to cooperate or some shit like that”, Yoongi never stutters and he never paces, but he is currently doing both of those things.

“Sir…is…this legal?” Jungkook asks shyly.

Yoongi is by Jungkook’s side within a few steps, grabbing him by the collar.

“Do as you are told, Jeon! Unless you want to lose this job!” Yoongi growls, making Jungkook whimper with fear.

“Captain Min, you are stepping out of place”, Kim Namjoon speaks up, dragging him away from Jungkook, “and get off this poor officer’s neck. He is just doing his job.”

Yoongi whips around, now targeting his anger at Namjoon.

“If he was doing his fucking job, he would lock her up”, he hisses, pointing at you.

“I need you to step out for a moment, Captain”, Namjoon says and gestures Jungkook to open the door. The young officer obeys, holding it open as Namjoon shoves a protesting Yoongi out of the room. He closes the door again, muting the vivid fighting Yoongi was doing with Namjoon outside.

He meets your eyes, smiling awkwardly.

“Please forgive the Captain, Miss. He is very concerned about his citizens’ safety.” He is a terrible liar, but you don’t blame him. If you were in his situation, you would have no idea how to explain such a situation to a supposed innocent citizen either.

“Don’t worry. I, I’m just wondering if maybe I can finally leave? I’m sorry, this just really scared me and I just want to lie down at home now”, you act shaken up, looking at the young officer with pleading eyes. 

“Of course, Miss. Our honest apologies again, Miss. Please follow me”, he says and leads you out of the room.

Yoongi and Namjoon are still arguing, but stop when they see you come out. You lock eyes with Yoongi for the briefest of moments. 

He closes the distance and grabs your wrist, dragging you with him with such vigour that nobody truly gets time to act. Not even you know what was happening to you until you find yourself in his office with the door slammed shut. 

“What are you doing?” you gasp.

“Shut the fuck up, you’re not the one asking this question right now!”

“Yoongi, lower your voice. This isn’t the place for screams.”

He steps closer to you, pointing at your face in warning.

“I have every fucking right to scream right now and you know that”, he presses out through gritted teeth.

“Why? Because I finally don’t need you anymore?”

“You can’t move. What the fuck are you thinking?”

“I’m-”

‘I'm not done”, he interrupts you, “I killed them for you. I did it. Just for you. Because your safety matters to me. I care.” He hits his own chest. “I showed you that I care and you’re gonna leave?”

You hate that you love him, but not for the usual reasons. You hate it because it hurts. You are going to leave despite not wanting to. You love him, perhaps you always will but you are also going to leave. 

You nod your head.

Yoongi exhales shakily, taking a stumbling step back. He stares at you as if you were the ghost whose haunting hurts him the most. He huffs out air, rubs his hand over his mouth, then runs it through his hair and down the side of his neck.

“I’ll kill the thief”, he says in the end.

“What?” 

“I'll make it seem like suicide. He’ll look like a pisser who couldn’t take prison and killed himself.”

“Are you out of your mind? He’s just a thief.”

“Well, what more do you need?!” he screams

“Nothing! I don’t need anything from you!”

“Why not? I can give you whatever you want!”

“Look at you. Now that you finally realised, I’m actually serious about the breakup, you wanna act like you care.”

“I care”, his voice broke, but you are both too angry to acknowledge it, “i-i-if I knew that you- I just-” He breathes in, breathes out, rubs his mouth, then his neck. “It can’t end like this. It can’t.”

“It can. I’m done begging you for everything.”

Yoongi steps closer.

“I can-”

“Sir? What is the meaning of this?” 

Kim Namjoon and Jeon Jungkook are in the office. The rest of the precinct gawks at you and Yoongi through the doorway. The latter lifts his hands and steps back. His fingers are shaking. 

“The captain just voiced his worries for my move. Don’t worry about it, Kim Sir”, you lie and turn to leave, “may I finally leave?”

Namjoon tells Jungkook to handle it with a nod of his head. The young officer points at the open door.

“Please after you, Miss.”

Yoongi says your name. 

You look at him over your shoulder, despite knowing you shouldn’t. He takes a step closer, lifting his brows in pleading. Don’t give in. Don’t give in. Don’t give in. You ball your hands to fists and turn your back to him.

Yoongi tries your name again, hoping for another look. One which doesn’t come. 

“Come back”, he tries, but gets stopped by Namjoon.

You can hear them talk as you leave.

“What the fuck’s your issue, man? You’ve been weird all day and now you’re screaming at citizens?”

“Watch your tone.”

“Hyung, I’m not here as your colleague right now. I’m here as your friend.”

“She’s gonna leave, she can’t…”

Jungkook leads you away from the office before you can hear Yoongi’s full answer. 

“Are you crying, Miss??”

“Hm? Oh that, don’t mind them. It’s just…” Your heart is broken and you want to run back to Yoongi. “...forgive me, I’m just a little shaken from everything.”

“I’m sorry, Miss. The captain isn’t normally like this.”

“It’s alright. I know how Yoongi can be sometimes.”

“Yoongi?” Jungkook asks, glancing at the captain’s office. He wonders what kind of friends you and he are. Maybe Those kind of friends? Is that why you are important to the captain? 

“I mean…sorry, I don’t know why I said that. I just wish to go home now.”

“Of course, Miss.”

“Oh god, I don’t even have money for a bus ticket with me”, you murmur to yourself, looking for your wallet. This is all a scheme to get Jungkook to drive you home again. You are worried that if he didn’t, Yoongi would somehow get to you before you could reach the station.

“Don’t worry about it, Miss. As a policeman, it is my duty to make sure that you get home safely.”

“Really? I wouldn’t want to waste your time.”

“Of course, Miss.”

And so he takes you home and you hate yourself because of it. So it began. You were the first person who used his kindness to her advantage. You were the drop beginning the inevitable filling of the tank until one day it will swap over. And once that happens, it is almost impossible to stop the leak. Fuck, you are just as terrible as everyone else in this city.

But the young officer is oblivious to what you just did, driving you home with a kind smile on his face. He even walks you to your door and stays as you unlock it. Your neighbours are fucking again. He glances at their door, then awkwardly at you.

“Yeah, I’ve got new neighbours. You can’t go over there and flash your badge and tell them to shut up, can you?”

“Of course I can, Miss. Just one mom-”

“No stop, I was joking”, you stop him, studying him with exhausted eyes. You are so sorry. You are so fucking sorry.

“Ah, okay. Please forgive me, I always take everything way too seriously”, he says, scratching his own neck shyly. He furrows his brows. “What’s the matter, Miss?”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, Miss.”

“Run.”

“What?”

“Run back to your hometown. Run and never look back.”

“Excuse me?” he laughs in confusion, furrowing his brows harder.

“You’re a good person, Jeon Jungkook. This city will fucking ruin you.”

“I…uh…” He laughs nervously. “I don’t seem to follow, Miss. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to get it, just listen to me. Please.”

“O…kay? I uhm…”

“Thank you for driving me home. I’ll think of you sometimes in my new home.”

“Miss, are you okay?”

“I am. You don’t need to worry about me anymore. Just promise me to run.”

“I promise?”

“Good. Be happy, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Miss, I-”

You close the door on him and lock it. You don’t expect him to knock or ring the bell. He is too proper to annoy you this way. You check the camera. He stares at the closed door for a few moments longer, looking confused. He lifts his hand to knock, hesitates and turns his back to the door instead, leaving down the steps to drive off. You know that you confused him, but you had to. Please let it be enough to save him.

V arrives later that day. He is stressed and clearly in a hurry.

“What’s wrong? You look like you need to be somewhere or like you need to shit. Do you need to shit?”

“What? No”, he sounds out of breath as well as annoyed, “I’m risking my ass being here. I’ve got your stuff. It’s the only thing except mine that I managed to save. Give me the money, quick.”

“Save?” you probe, giving him the money.

He stuffs it into his boxers hastily, looking over his shoulder again.

“My place got raided by cops. I was at the market getting food, then came back to five cop cars in front of my place. I barely escaped. If I didn’t always carry my stuff with me, I’d have been fucked.”

“What?!”

“Sorry, Hyacinth. Gotta leave the city for a while. I wish you all the best.”

“V, what the fuck?”

“Here’s to never seeing each other again, aye?” he jokes, laughing nervously. It’s a good thing he said. Never seeing each other again meant that you and he managed to escape safely.

“Wait. Where will you go?”

“I can’t tell you. You know I can’t.”

“Yeah, just…be careful.”

“You too.”

He leaves and you know that he will be successful. If there is one person who won’t ever be found it is V. 

You are in a trance for the rest of the day. Yoongi raided V’s place. He went as far as to betray his own people just to make sure that you wouldn’t leave. Carrying your new passport feels like a trophy, as much as it feels like a curse. Leaving this city won’t be as easy anymore now that he knows. You are so fucking stupid for telling him, but you didn’t want to miss out on his reaction when he found out. The small moment of satisfaction seems skippable now that you know how far he is willing to go to keep you close. And because V came as late as he did, your means of escape don’t drive anymore either. You have to wait for the earliest bus if you wanted to or not. Fuck, you did this to yourself. You stupid fucking woman. Look at you. You have this big, honourable degree and still manage to get yourself into shitty situations over and over again.

You go to sleep with a gun under your pillow. You won’t risk anything.

You don’t get a lot of sleep and then a noise wakes you. You heard it as clear as day. Someone unlocked your front door. He sent men to get you. Now he’s gone too far. You jump out of bed and grab your loaded gun, tiptoeing to a spot from where you could observe the apartment. You have to be strategic about it. First count the men, then calculate the fastest way to shoot them, then act. The door closes and locks again. Clever bastards, they want to make sure that you don’t flee. Oh, you are going to have a blast killing them. One last little thing to leave Yoongi before you abandon him.

The automatic lights turn on. Got you, assholes.

The first enters your vision.

“Hm?”

Yoongi. Clearly drunk, he is dragging his feet over the floor, using the wall as support. No one else follows him. So he came here alone. 

Overtaken by anger, you jump out of hiding and at him.

Yoongi collides with the wall, feeling the cold nuzzle of the gun press against his chin. He drops the keys and flowers he was carrying, lifting his hands in defeat.

“Careful, it’s just me”, he lulls.

“Get the fuck out of my house”, you spit, carrying murder in your eyes. 

“I can’t believe you’re still hiding your keys under the flower pot. Don’t make me so worried, anyone could enter.”

“I’m gonna count to three and if you haven’t disappeared by then, I’ll shoot.”

“Can we talk?”

“One.”

“I know I fucked up. I can’t stop thinking about you. Please, can we try again?”

“Two.”

“I promise I changed. You were right, I was a joke. But I wanna do better now.”

“Three.” “I’m sorry!”

Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut. His death never comes. He peels his eyes open again.

You are staring, panting heavily. Tears are in your eyes.

“I’m sorry”, he whispers.

This is the first time he is the one to say these words first. It feels so good, but you can’t give in again. You made up your mind to leave…didn’t you? You study the state of him. He is heavily intoxicated. He looks the way and reeks of it.

“You’re drunk.” 

He nods his head, furrowing his brows. He touches your elbows, caressing them softly. Such touch you only get when he is drunk.

“I drank because of you. What you said today. I just…don’t move away, please”, he begs, eyes filling with tears.

“So now you care? I wasn’t important to you when I was with you and now that I’m leaving, I’m suddenly important?”

“You’ve always been important.”

“No, I haven’t. You took me for granted.”

“I did and I’m sorry. I never should have taken you for granted. I’ll do better now, please just give me a chance to prove it to you.”

“If I give you a chance again, you’ll just abuse it and hurt me.”

“No, I won’t. Please, I just.” He cups your face, running his thumbs under your eyes as gently as possible. “We were right once. We were so good together. We were a team and, and we had dreams and we made each other happy. I want this back, I wanna try to get this back again please.”

“I just want to be happy, Yoongi”, you press out.

“I’ll make you happy, baby. Please, I-I’ll make you happy again.”

“No, you’re drunk and talking fucking shit.”

“I’ll leave this city if you want me to.”

You falter. He would give up what he built just for you?

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“I would. For you I would. I’d set this whole city on fire and leave with you as it burns to fucking ashes behind us, please.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Please”, he whispers and drops his forehead against yours, “please, I want to make you happy again.”

You hate that you love him. You hate that he made you addicted to him. This is so awfully him. He gives you enough affection that you get addicted to it then takes it away again. And once he feeds it to you again, you drink it up like an alcoholic. It is always the same. 

“No, you won’t. You’re drunk.”

“Please.”

“Leave my place.”

He presses himself off the wall and grabs the nuzzle of the gun, guiding it right between his brows.

“You have to kill me if you want me gone.”

You gulp. He forces your finger to the trigger. Your airways close up.

“Kill me. Fucking kill me. I can’t live without you anyways.”

You could end it. You’ve got everything. Your suitcases, your papers, the keys of his car he drunkenly drove like an asshole. You’ve got everything you need to escape this place. You could end it, finally make sure that you have no temptation to return. You could end him and your addiction with it. He’s got your finger on the trigger, it needs just one flex and it would be over. But you never wanted him dead. No matter how much you wished for him to be gone, you never wanted him dead. Because in some fucked up way, all you really wanted was for him to put more effort into you.

“No”, you whimper, shaking your head. 

He rips the gun from your fingers and drops it on your dresser. 

“I don’t want to kill you”, you press out, sobbing softly. 

He cradles your face, wiping your tears. 

“I know”, he gets out, nodding his head, “I know you don’t, princess. I know.”

“Yoongi”, you squeak out, twisting his shirt. 

“I’m here, princess. I’m here.”

He pulls you closer until his kiss is just one breath away, feeding on the shaky breath you let ghost against his lips. His drunken eyes gaze at your mouth, his heart is racing in his chest.

“Push me away”, he tells you.

“I hate you.”

“And I love you.”

“Yoongi”, you whimper, finally touching his chest instead of his shirt. 

He moans and pulls you into a kiss. A deep, hungry kiss. 

You pull at his hair to get him off of you as much as you pull him closer, fighting for air. You hate that you love…do you really? Do you really fucking hate it? Do you really hate it when his kiss makes you feel alive again? You spent months feeling out of breath and now it’s gone. You can breathe again. At least metaphorically, physically he’s got you very close to passing out. You push at him to get distance. Air. He lets you breathe, but not escape. He pushes you to your sofa until your legs collide with the back of it. Your shaky breaths intermingle, your shared moans follow. His right hand slides to your ass, his knee lifts to your middle. 

You gasp, grinding down on him. You can’t protest because he kisses you so deeply it feels as if he wanted to consume your soul. He kisses and gropes, kisses and gropes until air is sparse. He gasps.

“Fuck. Fuck, I’m fucked”, he gets out and pulls your head back so he could drag his tongue up your throat. 

It should disgust you, but it doesn’t. You moan, running your nails down his chest and arching your back. He lifts his head, looking at you with drunken, crazed obsession. His fingers just can’t stay still on your body. It is as if he wanted to touch everywhere at all times. The attention makes you short of breath.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

You touch his cheek. He leans into your palm, closing his eyes when you trace his scar. You were with him when he got it. It was during a fight. He fought with his fists, his opponent chose the cowardly way and pulled a knife on him. He was lucky that he didn’t lose his eyesight. He hated it at first, but you made him feel handsome. You always looked out for him that way.

“Do you…do you think I’m handsome?” he asks. Such questions you only get when he’s drunk. 

“I do.”

His breath trembles as it leaves him. He drops his hand from your hips to take out his cock. He touches himself, gazing at you as if he needed the view of you to stay hard. And he does. He needs you. You are the only person who can turn him on.

You look at what his hand is doing, gulping heavily. He sighs, gazing at your face. You are as mesmerised by him as you were when everything was still good between you and him. His cock still has the same effect on you.

“Princess?” he tilts your head back up to meet your eyes, using only two fingers under your chin for it. 

You meet his eyes, heart racing unbearably.

“Yes?” One little lift of his brows and you give him the answer he craved. 

You part your legs, tilting your hips closer to him. You nod your head vigorously, gazing at his cock again.

He doesn’t bother to pull his pants down all the way, neither does he care about taking off your panties. He pushes them to the side and stuffs you full of him, gripping the edge of the couch and your right thigh as deep moans leave him. Your right leg is lifted like this, supported by him.

You gasp, tensing up. Your toes curl instantly, your fingers clutch his lower arms. His cock stretches you out and stuffs your walls. It’s not uncomfortable, but it is definitely intense. You gasp again, looking at him with widened eyes.

“I know baby, I know”, he breathes and bottoms out. “It’s been too long. Fuck.” 

He moves, chasing your warmth in drunk, sloppy thrusts. You writhe and gasp repeatedly, scratching the back of his neck. You want to hate that you love him. He should feel like an intruder. You should want to kick and scream for help. But you don’t want to. You feel whole again. No preparation, but he doesn’t hurt. His kiss and touch was enough. Your addiction to him runs so deep that his cock is pure heroin to you.

“Yoongi”, you get out, grabbing his throat. Your thumbs are on his Adam’s apple, threatening to press down.

He smiles, “I love you”, he gasps out and drops his head against yours. His long hair tickles your face, his drunken breath swirls over your skin. He gulps and moans under your fingers, pumping into you with no signs of slowing down. You start losing strength in your calf, standing like this is exhausting, but if you were being honest, you don’t want it to stop. 

“I hate you.”

“Fucking kill me then”, he rasps.

You close your fingers slightly.

“Harder. This isn’t gonna do it.”

“You first.”

“Fuck, baby”, he gets out and lifts you so he could round the sofa with you. He pins you down into the pillows, ripping the panties off of you and kicking his pants off. He pushes into you before you can truly realise what was happening, feeding you all of him until he can’t give any more. He twists the pillow next to your head as he takes on a punishing rhythm. His dark hair hangs into his face, his teeth are bared as he huffs like an angry animal.

“Yoon-”

“I know, baby I know. You already told me, baby. I know”, he whispers, wiping your cheek, “take me, I know you can. You’re my baby, you’re made for me.”

His praise is like medicine to you. This is all you needed. To know that he is still obsessed with you and that you still affect him. 

You close your legs around his hips, keeping him with you this way. You need him to always stay like this. He moans your name, slipping his fingers from your cheek to hold the pillow instead. You told him that you hated him, but your body betrays you. Your eyes betray you. You keep him close, gaze at him as if he was your everything. Yoongi’s head is turning. Not only from the alcohol, but also from being with you again. And from knowing that you still loved him.

Because he loves you so much. He hates himself for taking you for granted. He never should have. You are his everything. The fucking reason why he does all of this. The last three months were torture for him. He started smoking again, drank too much, slept too little, worked too many hours. And if he didn't distract himself with work, he tried thinking up ways of showing you that he was still there for you. He ordered his officers to look out for you, sent food deliveries to your place, parked in front of your place somewhere hidden to watch you smoke on the staircase. He also followed you sometimes after you confessed to him that some of his goons were terrorising you. And each time he followed you, he wished for you to notice him just so he could get a chance at talking to you again. But you never did and Yoongi thought that you will come back again soon. Then you told him that you would move and Yoongi finally broke. He was truly losing you. Three months of hell, of lonely nights and heartbreak and he was truly losing you. 

“I missed you”, he gets out, painting his name against your favourite spots. The eagerness with which you clasp him results in your hips to lift off the pillow, allowing your clit to grind against him each time he bottoms out. The necklaces he is wearing are tangling over your face. They were too long once, but Yoongi cut them to the perfect length so they wouldn't hit your face when you are underneath him. That was six months ago. During a time you thought he didn’t care anymore. You feel so stupid now. His way of showing you that he cared was always there. He was always looking out for you. You were just too blind to see. 

You gasp and whimper, mewl and keen, looking up at him with teary eyes and your fingers closing around nothing. You can’t tell him that you missed him too because you are too overwhelmed. 

“Did you miss me too?” but Yoongi is drunk tonight and when he is drunk he is needy for your affection. 

You nod your head. 

“Say it.”

“I missed you”, you get out, following it up with a sob. 

“Baby, I love you”, he croaks, wiping your tears before dropping his forehead against yours, “I love you, baby, I love you. Don’t leave me again, please.”

“You’re so drunk.”

“Yeah, drunk ‘cause of you. Thought I’ll lose you. Baby, I can’t lose you”, he croaks and shows you his honesty with passionate rolls of his hips. Somehow he goes even deeper than before, he hits your favourite spots even better. 

You arch your back and scream his name, throwing your head back as best as possible. This is electric. Holy shit, he makes you feel good. Your face scrunches up against your will, your feet shake on his back. 

Yoongi admires you with a pounding head and racing heart, repeating what he did before over and over and over again. You react in mewls and moans and screams and he can’t get enough of it. He wants for you to lose your fucking voice because you couldn’t stop screaming for him. Because if you sound like this for him, he makes you happy. It has been too long since you actually screamed this way, so Yoongi is especially affected by tonight.

He laces his fingers with yours – again, he is drunk – and squeezes them needily. He thinks that he is crying too. He watches pearls of something drip onto your face sometimes. His eyes also burn. He doesn’t want it to stop. He is willing to carry his emotions on his sleeve if it meant you were happy again.

“Is this what you needed? Does this finally make you fucking happy?” he gets out, chasing the ecstasy as much as he helps you with your own pleasure trip.

You squeeze his hands back, making him moan your name.

“Ye-yes.”

“Argh”, he growls, trying so much harder to fuck you right. It feels so good. He has to tell you. He stayed silent way too often in the past. You want his efforts and he wants to give them to you. “You feel so good.”

The first confession was hard because he isn’t used to sharing his feelings. It was hard, but it was also ecstatic because your sounds of pleasure became louder and you tightened around him, squeezing his hands happily. 

“You feel so good. You feel so fucking good. You feel so good, princess. You feel…so good”, he can’t stop now that he started, telling you over and over and over again how you make him feel. Good. So good. He feels so good when he is with you. “You are so good. Princess, fuck. I have to..I, I have to- ah!” 

You open your eyes in time with Yoongi collapsing on top of you. He whimpers into the crook of your neck, shaking almost pathetically.

There are two things you always believed to be true about Yoongi. First: When he fucks, his moans are always deep, raspy and growly. Second: He has perfect control over his orgasms. 

Both of these things are getting proven wrong to you right here and now as he whimpers and shakes and paints your walls with his unexpected orgasm. You want to blame the alcohol on it and maybe the months of abstinence, perhaps even the fear of losing you paired with the relief of having you again. Holy fuck, he actually loves you doesn’t he?

“I love you”,  he sobs, hugging you close. 

“Yoongi ah”, he breaks you with his confession and the tenderness with which he holds you. You swear that you can taste colours for a moment. You haven’t felt honestly good in your own skin in months. This right here is what feeling good is. This is it. 

You don’t know who comes down first. You think it is Yoongi, but even if he does, he doesn’t pull out. He lets you shake and throb and clench around him until your moment of peak pleasure is over as well. He holds you silently afterwards, catching his breath in the crook of your neck. He missed your scent like nothing else. Truly, it leaves him so drugged out that he actually finds himself drooling as he smiles like a giddy boy. 

You calm down with his weight atop your chest, his length still inside you and his hair between your fingers. It is still a little stiff and crusty from the variety of hair products he keeps in it during his day job. To think that mere hours ago, you were screaming at each other in his office. It feels so far away to you now. Like a memory of an unbelievable life.

You don’t hate that you love him. You really don’t. 

“How.” He clears his throat. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.”

“Are you sore? Does anything hurt?”

“No, but I’m leaking.”

“Fuck”, he laughs into your shoulder, nibbling on it gently, “sorry, I just…am drunk and missed you.”

“You were pathetic doing that.”

He laughs harder. You and he have a peculiar sense of humour. He knows that you meant it fondly. You laugh as well. He lifts his head at the sound of it, cupping your cheek. 

“If it means you’re laughing, I can live with being pathetic.”

Your heart flutters.

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Booze. Way too much booze.”

You laugh again. His eyes soften, he caresses your face. 

“Definitely too much booze, yeah”, you agree.

“Mhm, fuck.” He cuddles into your shoulder again. “I’m sleeping here.”

“And you think I’d let you?”

He nods his head.

“Fuck, you’re the worst.”

“Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not.”

You wake up alone the next morning. It hurts. So nothing changed. He got what he wanted, made you addicted again only to leave. Like he always did. And you are left feeling dirty and used and fucking awful. 

You probably would have stayed in bed to cry the entire day if a very worrying noise hadn’t come from outside your door. Someone’s in your kitchen. You roll out of bed and leave the room. You don’t need weapons today. You are angry enough that you will probably be able to beat whoever is dumb enough to break in. 

You cross the corner and stop, lowering your fists.

Yoongi. 

He took a shower and tied all of his wet hair into a messy bun. He is shirtless, wearing a towel around his hips. Music is playing from his phone while on the stove, breakfast is sizzling. 

“You?”

He turns at the sound of your voice, face lighting up instantly. 

“Good morning, beautiful”, he says, closing the distance to take you into a hug. “Did you sleep well?”

You don’t answer him, you push at his chest so you could look at him. You can’t believe that he is still here and that he is making you breakfast.

“What’s the matter?” he asks. 

“Why the fuck are you still here?”

He furrows his brows, “why not?”

“I, I don’t know. I just, just. I thought that…huh? You didn’t leave?”

He frowns in regret for a moment, before leaning in to kiss your cheek. He gives your left buttock an almost playful squeeze afterwards, stepping back to return to the cooking.

“I’m making your favourite. I also cleaned. Your place was a shithole, honestly.”

Still flabbergasted beyond relief, you look around your small apartment. He didn’t just clean up the garbage and tidy, he fully wiped the place down. You check the clock next. It’s way past one at noon. You slept for more than twelve hours. Damn. You never even realised how much sleep these last three months took from you until you finally fell asleep in his arms again and actually stayed asleep. You feel refreshed and not uncomfortable in your own skin. 

Last, you look at Yoongi. He is humming to the music, switching between stirring the eggs in the pan and chopping up some pork belly. 

At first you don’t want to accept that this is actually happening to you, but then the desire to be close to him gets too grande to bear. You almost run to him, colliding with his back in a passionate hug. 

He stumbles and grunts, following it up with a fond chuckle and his big hands rubbing your lower arms. 

“Please don’t make me regret this again. Please.”

He turns in your arms, caressing your waist. He shakes his head, looking at you in ways he hasn’t looked at you in ages. As if he honestly loved you. 

“Can you promise me?”

“I promise you, baby”, he says in a soft voice and locks pinkies with you. 

The gesture is so cute and honest, that you have to stifle a giggle. Your heart hasn’t fluttered like this in ages.

“I have an idea. How about I’ll take next week off and we’re leaving this city for a while? Maybe the mountains? You’d like the air there”, he suggests. 

“Are you serious? Do you actually mean that?”

He nods his head. You and he began swaying to the music, looking at nothing else but the other. 

“But first I gotta sort out the mess I made when I busted V’s place”, he says.

“Yeah true.” You slap his chest. “Fuck you for that. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know, I know. I acted irrationally, I admit. But I’m gonna fix this. You know how easily I can make stuff disappear. He’ll be able to return again in a week or so.”

“I hope you’ll fix this, you idiot you.”

“Mhm, I will and then I’m taking you on a long vacation”, he says, kissing your forehead before hugging you against his chest.

You close your eyes, melting into his chest. 

“And when we’re there, I’m gonna make you breakfast and make you cum and make you smile. Yeah?” he whispers.

“Yeah”, you snicker.

He smells like your shower gel today, but you don’t mind. He hasn’t shown such an actual desire to change in months and it feels so good to receive. You love that you love him. You really do. 

“I love you, Yoongi”, you whisper, feeling him squeeze you for just a moment as your confession overwhelms him. 

“I love you too, princess”, he tells you and he is sober for it because he swore to himself that he won’t need alcohol anymore to be able to show you his affection. 

He is willing to better himself, he truly is and a week later, you and he are in his car on your way to a long vacation in the mountains.

[hxney-lemcn]

Late Night Chaos — Daisuke x gn! reader

summery: continuing to struggle with coming to terms, reader seeks solace in Anya, trying and failing to confess, until they finally couldn't avoid it any longer.

tw: reader is bad at feelings.

a/n: this has become a series...

wc: 2k

Master List

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine

In response to your newfound feelings, you decided to do what you do best. Ignore it. Ignore the fluttering of your heart when Daisuke looked towards you after a joke, like he wanted to make you laugh specifically. Or the quiet moments, sitting side by side at night, you didn’t miss the way he would stare at you instead of the fake sky, making your insomnia problem worse. Or how he had become more touchy, how had you not noticed it before? They way he’d brush the back of his hand against yours when walking side by side, or how he’d bump shoulders with you more often than not, or the brief hugs he’d give you if you looked particularly down. 

It was eating at you, but you’d be damned if you were gonna say anything. You can’t remember a time you felt this strongly about someone. Sure, you’ve had passing crushes and found people attractive, but those all passed. But this? You were stuck, hurtling through space, with someone you not only found attractive, but were also falling for. You felt like you were going to tear your hair out. This wasn’t good for your health. It felt like you were going crazy. Not to mention the constant urge to just get all your aggression out by squeezing the living daylights out of Daisuke. 

It seemed you weren’t hiding your deteriorating mental state well. Finishing your daily tasks for Anya, she seemed to have noticed the tired look in your eyes…or maybe the eye bags, those might have been a dead give-away. 

“Have you been sleeping alright?” Anya asked, eyes holding concern. 

“As good as it’ll get,” You shrugged, deflecting the question. 

“If there’s something on your mind you can always talk to me,” She remarked. “It may be my job, but I also care about you.” That made you pause, biting your lip and you mulled over your options. Either keep your feelings to yourself and go nuts or talk to the only other person you feel comfortable with…

Sitting down, you kept your gaze on your lap, fiddling with your fingers, “I’ve…uh. I’ve come to a sudden realization.” 

“And what might that be?” Anya asked softly, watching your anxious movements with a trained eye. Your fidgeting grew worse, now messing with the sleeves of your uniform. If you said it outloud that would make it real, and that was what was holding you back. All these new emotions scared you, and for all you knew Daisuke only thought of you as a friend. The uncertainties of the whole situation made you want to grasp onto any semblance of control you held, and that was holding onto your emotions, keeping them in check and acting like you didn’t want to kiss the living daylights out of one of your crewmates. 

“I think I’m going crazy.”

It's not what you wanted to say, but the truth felt too heavy on your tongue, unable to push the words past your lips. Avoiding her gaze, you looked at the board behind her, eyes landing on a drawing of Jimmy with the word yimpy. Glaring at the image, you wondered why traces of Daisuke seemed to follow you no matter where you went. 

“Hmm,” Anya hummed, tapping her pen against the desk. “Why?”

“I…I,” You tried so hard to say it, to get the damn fuzzy yet heavy feelings off your chest, but your mouth wouldn’t let you. Thankfully, Anya was patient, analyzing you to make sure this wasn’t too serious to your mental health. Squeezing your hands into tight fists, you pushed through, the words finally spilling past your lips, “I think I’m falling for Daisuke!” 

Your eyes widened at how loud you said it, cheeks warming and glancing behind you to make sure no one was eavesdropping. Anya’s demeanor softened, letting out a small sigh of relief. You really scared her for a second. But now that the dam had broken, you couldn’t seem to stop yourself from gushing. 

“I-I’ve never felt this way before and it’s so scary. And it’s hard to avoid because he’s always following me around and making me laugh, and when I’m with him it doesn’t seem so bad, but then when I’m alone I overthink everything. It’s driving me crazy.”

Anya nodded, taking in your words and coming up with a thoughtful response, “New things are scary. But it seems like you both really like each other. I’d say the best way to go about this is to confront the problem, tell Daisuke how you feel. As scary as it may be, it's better than keeping it in. Of course if you two do start dating then you’d both have to fill out some paperwork-”

“I think we’re skipping a step,” You said, words muffled as you shoved your face in your hands. 

…

You knew Anya was right. You should just tell him, that’s the most logical conclusion, but if you struggled to tell her, how the hell were you supposed to tell the actual person? You glanced at your main problem, wearily eyeing him as Swansea was trying to guide him in fixing a pipe. You weren’t an idiot, you knew that he liked you, but the question was how much? Was it all platonic? Maybe a hint of romantic feelings? Was he already crushing on you? How the hell were you supposed to know? It angered you, you were out of your depth and it was scary. 

“I did it!” Daisuke exclaimed, smiling brightly towards Swansea than you.

“Good job,” Swansea muttered gruffly. “You didn’t break anything this time.” 

When his eyes landed on you, expectant look in his eyes, you found yourself folding, “You did great.” Curse your traitorous heart speeding up when his grin brightened. He was nearly jumping across the halls, vibrating where he stood.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, kid,” Swansea shook his head. “The question is can you do it again?” 

“I’m sure he can,” You remarked offhandedly. The old man glanced at you before shaking his head, muttering something about kids these days. 

“Let’s take a ten minute break,” Swansea grumbled. “Not sure how much longer I can deal with you two.” You watched him leave with a raised eyebrow, your lips slightly lifted in a small smirk. 

It was silent for a few moments before Daisuke spoke up, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Hmm?” You hummed, tilting your head. “Yeah, why?”

“You just…seem a bit off,” He muttered, scratching the back of his neck. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You snarked, eyes falling into a glare. 

“N-nothing bad,” He defended, holding his hands up like a shield. “You just…you can talk to me y’know. We’re friends after all.”

Letting out a sigh you deflated, “Sorry, I know. It’s just…hard to explain.”

“Harder to explain than stealing the Captain's scanner for some sweetener packets?”

“Hmm,” You genuinely thought about it, amused. “No, I don’t think I can beat that.” The two of you chuckled softly before it was quiet again. With the way Daisuke worriedly looked at you, you felt a bit guilty. You had been snapping at him more than usual (easy to beat as you never really snapped at him), taking out your frustrating emotions on those around you. You had been unfair, and now seems like the perfect time to finally get the weight off your chest…and apologize properly.

“I, uh, have something to admit,” You confessed, rubbing your arm awkwardly. “Just…let’s not make it weird-”

“Alright,” Swansea unknowingly cut you off, coming back in. “No more time to dawdle, the ship won’t fix itself.” You huffed, glaring at the ground. It was just your luck that right as you were about to do the grown thing and talk about your emotions someone had to cut you off.

Pushing yourself off the crate you were sitting on, you waved at the two on your way out, “I’ll see ya around.” Not looking back, you missed the way Daisuke watched you in concern.

…

You paused mid-turn, freezing when you heard someone knock on your door. Daisuke’s muffled call of your name rang through your room. Grumbling to yourself, you got up. It’s not like you were getting any sleep anyhow. Pulling down the handle, the door slid open to reveal Daisuke, his hair was ruffled and he was wearing his pajamas. A frown tugged at his lips, eyes watching your sluggish form. “Come in,” You murmured, stepping away from the door and sitting on your bed. Closing the door behind him, he sat next to you. No words needed to be shared, you knew exactly why he was here. Once again, you found the silence to be terribly loud, racking your brain on where to start. 

“I’m sorry for treating you like shit,” You apologized, gaze focused in front of you.

“What are you talking about?” Daisuke asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Y’know,” You grumbled, picking at the blanket beneath you. “I keep snapping at you out of nowhere. It’s not right, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Oh,” He nodded in realization.

“Yeah,” You sighed.

“Something been irritating you?” He asked leaning down to try and meet your gaze. 

“That's…I…” Once again, you felt your tongue grow heavy at the thought of admitting your feelings. Allowing yourself to be so vulnerable was terrifying. It was like carving your heart out and serving it on a platter, hoping that he’d treat it with care. The question was, were you willing to put the knife to your chest and cut? 

Meeting his eyes, held with concern and something you couldn’t put your finger on, you could feel the knife twist.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Daisuke’s eyes widened with wonder, looking more awake than ever before, tanned cheeks turning red. He felt like he was dreaming, but at the same time it felt off. You were confessing to him, something he had hoped for…but you also seemed…sad. Like it was taking a toll on you, and if that was the reason why you were more easily irritated…does that mean you don’t like it? Was there a way to fall for someone and hate them for it? 

“And that’s a bad thing?” He managed to ask, voice wobbling in fear. 

“No,” You whispered, tilting your head down and facing your lap. “It’s just scary. I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t know how to handle it.”

“That’s okay,” Daisuke whispered back, inching his hand closer to your own. “I’m new to this too. We can figure it out. Together.” Biting your lip, you eyed his hand that stopped just before touching you. In a short burst of confidence you linked your pinkies, bathing in the warm feeling that expanded through your entire being instead of running from it. 

“Do you think you can stay?” You asked, your skin bristling at the vulnerability in your tone. 

You were silly to think that Daisuke would treat your heart carelessly. No, he was going to treat it tenderly, caring for it as if it were his own. In return, he carved his own heart out, giving you an equal offering. 

“Of course,” Daisuke nodded, his usual boyish smile more tender and warm. 

Bonus:

Both you and Daisuke had been late to breakfast, and Anya had a small hunch as to why. So she offered to get you both, ignoring the way Jimmy grumbled about you both being spoiled brats. Knocking on your door, she heard shuffling on the other side, hushed whispers, and finally footsteps walking towards the door. Cracking the door open, you peaked your head out, sleepy eyes staring up at the nurse.

“Good morning,” You muttered, voice still laced with sleep. 

“Good morning,” She greeted back with an amused smile. “You and Daisuke slept in.”

That seemed to make you wide awake, muttering curse words before rushing back into your room, a muffled sorry yelled through the door. Walking back to the main hull, Anya shook her head in amusement. It seems you finally followed her advice.

[madwcman]

Hi I don't know if you're still taking requests right now but I wanted to request a Sirius Black x Reader where Reader is in love with Sirius but Sirius is in denial to his feelings until he sees reader with another guy whom he knows has a crush on her? Please and if not that's alright! Thanks for taking the time to read this :)

a/n: thank you for requesting! enjoy!! also reader is slightly implied to be a gryffindor but it isn’t stated.

pairing: sirius black x reader

sirius was gobsmacked, shocked and confused? yes he was definitely confused. why on earth were you holding jackson’s hand? jackson is a ravenclaw boy in your and sirius’ year, and he just happened to have a crush on you. sirius couldn’t wrap his head around it. he never thought you would date someone from ravenclaw. they weren’t your type. sirius was sure you’d date someone from gryffindor. like him.

“when did that happen?” sirius turns to james waving his hand at you and the boy in question.

james looks over to his distressed friend, not very interested in the topic. “dunno,”

“i guess today?” james shrugs his shoulders, staring at lily evans, who happens to be sitting a few seats down. letting out a slightly annoyed huff, sirius turns to his other best friends. staring and maybe even slightly glaring at peter and remus. “do either of you know?”

“no, and i don’t care.” remus mutters, not even looking up from his breakfast, someone was moody this morning. sirius makes a mental note to check on him later, right now you were more important than moony’s mood swings. he turns his head slightly towards peter, with an eyebrow raised. he’s hoping and slightly praying peter would know.

“yeah i do, you’re an ass.” peter states bluntly, picking up his fork to take another bite of his breakfast. laughter erupts around them. sirius can hear both james and remus snickers of amusement.

clearly this was a hilarious joke to them. sirius is even more confused now, peter didn’t answer his question. and sure sirius could be mean. but he couldn’t remember ever being cruel to you. he hasn’t pulled a prank on you at all this year. what could he have possibly done?

“what are you talking about?!” sirius can’t help but raise his voice. becoming more agitated by his friends laughter. sirius also couldn’t help but point out that his friend never answered his question. “also that doesn’t answer my question!”

peter stops laughing, setting down his fork by his plate. he can’t help but sigh at his friend. “man, you’re dense!”

“i’m not-“ sirius quickly defends himself.

“sirius, she’s only going out with him because you said no to her date.” sirius slightly pouts, as if he’s a little child again. huffing out, “what date?”

“the one where she asked you to hogsmade, idiot.” remus can’t help but chip in, still looking down eating his breakfast. he may be in a bad mood but, that would never stop remus from pointing out how his friends were idiots. he often enjoyed it.

sirius shakes his head in denial, his friends are wrong. he would know if you asked him on a date. “that wasn’t a date.” peter groans at sirius, thinking that sirius is either oblivious- or stupid. peter thinks the later.

“it was, she’s in love you!” peter shouts, slamming his fist on the table. catching other students attention. and catching sirius off guard. sirius is once again confused, what felt like for the thousandth time this morning.

“since when?”

“since i don’t know, forever.” james confesses. sirius knows that james would never lie to him. especially about something as serious as this.

“you’re serious?”

“no you’re sirius.”

sirius rolls his eyes at james stupid, old and now lame joke. “haha, very funny.”

“jokes aside, yes i’m very serious .” james stops laughing at his joke and pats sirius on the shoulder, offering sirius some sort of comfort.

“now that’s cleared up. stop sitting there. go get your girl, idiot” remus finally looks up from his food, and glares at sirius. his scars by his eyes stretch a little.

“but there already dating.” sirius can’t help but deflate. you’re already dating someone. a boy, who truly can’t appreciate you like sirius.

“sirius, do you love her?” james asks, he knows the answer. sirius has been in love with you since first year. he just couldn’t see it.

“yes.”

“then go to her!” james yells, shaking sirius friend. giving him all the courage and confidence he needed.

“besides they’ve only been on one date. so they’re not officially together.” peter provides the facts. and sirius is very grateful his friend loves to gossip. sirius goes to stand and chase after you. you didn’t need that stupid ravenclaw guy, in sirius’ opinion.

[its-time-to-write]

mine of you with me

Been busy this week bc my ex is getting married and I have to go to the wedding. His fiancée (wife?) asked me to be there and I love her, so I said yes, but I regret it big time. Requests are still open! I’m working on the requests in my inbox, but wrote this to get it out of my system. It goes with/happens before “three times ‘cause I’ve waited my whole life.” Anyway. Here ya go. mine of you with me

You love going to Jamie’s games. You love watching him play his heart out on the pitch. It’s fun, being in the stands and screaming for Richmond. You wear his jersey (his actual jersey, one that he owns) and deck yourself out in Richmond gear. You think your favorite part, however, is sneaking around.

You’re dating Jamie Tartt, star footballer, and no one knows.  

Today is a game against Crystal Palace. Jamie had left before you with a single “Bye babe,” and a kiss. 

After he leaves, you debate stealing one of his orange kits (they’re the most comfortable) but decide against it. Too obvious to be in a sea of red and blue. You settle for a regular “Bantr” shirt and head out the door to meet Keeley. 

Keeley and Rebecca were aware that you were with Jamie. Keeley, because Jamie swore you’d be best friends. Rebecca, because there was a ticket mixup and Keeley was busy so she sent Rebecca to the ticket booth to sort things out with “Jamie’s special guest,” which led Rebecca to be very surprised when she saw you instead of one of his family members. 

It made things easier, really, to show up on Nelson Road under the guise of seeing Rebecca and/or Keeley. Time passed and it became less of a guise. You really enjoyed their company, and having someone to talk to about Jamie. 

But here you are, back in the present, with Rebecca trying to convince you to sit in the box while Keeley threads blue, red, and gold through your hair. 

You just laugh and hug them goodbye, heading your separate ways. Them, up; you, down. 

You settle into your seat right up to the pitch, and wait for the game to begin. Jamie’s picked a seat that’s right where the teams line up, so you’ll get a good view of him before it starts. 

Shortly after, the teams begin to walk out onto the pitch. You look for Jamie and catch his eye. 

I like your hair, he mouths, pointing slightly to his own. 

Thanks, you reply with a small grin. 

Jamie gives you a look that says I’m going to be pulling it later so you return with one that means I was counting on it.

Is it bad that you two understand each others expressions that well?

No time to dwell on that, because the game’s beginning. 

—

Richmond’s done alright, they haven’t lost necessarily, but they did tie. You can feel the tension through the building as you weave your way through players and staff, carrying a stack of papers from Higgins to Rebecca. You’re almost to the stairs leading up to her office when someone crashes into you, sending papers flying. 

“I’m so sorry!” you say, “that is totally my fault, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“No it isn’t,” a voice replies indignantly. “He was walking backwards!”

Jamie mumbles, “Shut up, Isaac,” while bending down to help you shuffle your papers together. 

“Sorry about that,” he says softly. “Weren’t looking where I was goin’. I’m Jamie, by the way.”

He holds out his hand and you shake it, mentally commending his presence-of-mind to act like a stranger. “Nice to meet you, Jamie,” you reply. “I’m a friend of Rebecca’s.”

“He knows,” Colin pipes up, followed by an “Oi,” because Isaac smacked him. 

“I’ve uh, got to go,” you say. “See you around.”

“See ya,” the lads chorus, Jamie watching you and Colin and Isaac watching Jamie. 

Jamie turns around to see them grinning at him. 

“Oi, what,” he says, hands in the air. 

Isaac states, “You like her.”

Colin interjects, “Don’t even try to deny it, boyo, we saw how you looked at her. You think she’s fit.”

Jamie is sure he played it cooler than that. Maybe they just know him too well. 

He laughs it off all the way to the locker room, changes, showers, and waits for Dani to walk out the door. They leave in a group, him, Isaac, Dani, and Colin, and as they turn the corner past the boot room you appear with Rebecca.

“Ladies,” Dani grins. Dani has a bit of a crush on you. 

You and Rebecca smile back. 

“Oi,” says Isaac, “do you want to join us tonight at the club? Trying to forget our tie streak.”

You open your mouth to decline when Rebecca replies, “We’d love to. I’m assuming Keeley will be there as well?”

“Becca,” you hiss, “I can’t go the club tonight.”

“Whyever not?”

You blush slightly. “I was planning on spending the evening with my boyfriend.”

The boys share furtive looks amongst themselves and not-so-subtly poke Jamie.

Rebecca says, “I’m sure he’d be more than happy to join you at the club. It’s settled, we’ll be there,” with a smile to the lads. 

It takes every ounce of your willpower not to look at Jamie and to walk away with dignity. 

“Did you hear that, Jamie?” Isaac asks, “She’s got a boyfriend. Sorry, mate.”

Jamie shrugs and does his best to look disappointed. “Must be a lucky man,” he says. “Now can we please go? My hair’s a fuckin wreck.”

“Mine too,” Dani says with a sorrowful shake of his head. They boys laugh and head out the door. 

—

You’re at the club, standing at the bar with Rebecca. Jamie is there too, with the Richmond boys. Trent and Beard are there too, but Ted has opted to stay home. He’s not big into the club scene. Jamie’s sitting and laughing with the boys, but his eyes keep flicking over to you. Isaac notices and thumps him on the chest. 

“Oi. She’s got a boyfriend, remember?”

Jamie nods and tears his eyes away from you. 

“Dani, mate, you need a drink?” Jamie doesn’t even wait for a response before he’s out of his seat and headed over to the bar. Headed over to you. 

Colin rolls his eyes, Isaac shakes his head, and Dani shrugs. “I cannot say no to a free drink,” he says. 

Meanwhile, Jamie leans against the bar, holds up two fingers, then turns to you while waiting for his drinks. “Boyfriend didn’t show up?”

You grin and look around the room. “He’s here somewhere. We came separately. Not really sure where he’s gone off to.”

Jamie smiles back. “Not much of a boyfriend if he leaves someone as fuckin’ pretty as you at the bar all by herself.”

You shrug. “I’m with Rebecca. And he’s ok, I guess. When I find him, I’m going to tell him I’m leaving in fifteen minutes, and ask if he wants to meet at his place or mine.”

Jamie’s eyes become hungry. “His place. Definitely his. In fact, I think I just saw him slip out the door. D’you mind taking Dani his drink? You can have mine.”

You nod, unable to speak. Just a glint in his eye, and he’s become almost feral. You swear his teeth are pointier and your mouth goes dry.

Nice hair. I’m going to be pulling it later.

He’s gone before you can say anything else, and you have to press your hands to your face to cool down your cheeks.

Rebecca has been graciously pretending as though she can’t hear while scrolling on her phone. She looks up only when you grab Jamie’s drink, down it in a single gulp, and then pick up Dani’s.

She raises an eyebrow. “I take it I’m on my own for the rest of the night?”

You shake your head. “Isn’t Keeley here?”

There’s a ghost of a smile on Rebecca’s face. “Pretty sure she’s trying to take Roy home, so she is here in body but not so much in mind.”

You make what you hope is a neutral face. “Bec, you could get a man.”

She laughs. “Let’s get Dani his drink, shall we? I believe you’re leaving in twelve minutes.”

You set Dani’s drink down in front of him as Isaac asks, “Where’s your boyfriend? I thought he was supposed to be here.” 

You shrug for the second time that night. “He had to go. I think I’ll be leaving soon too.”

There’s a chorus of wolf-whistles and you blush, again.

“Where did Jamie go?” Sam asks. “Did you break his heart that badly when he was flirting with you?”

You shake your head. You can feel Rebecca, poised as ever, next to you. It’s taking all your composure to maintain a straight face. 

“I don’t- I’m not sure. He said something about training and sleep and I think he had to go? And I didn’t break his heart. He’s not into me.”

“Oh please,” Jan Maas speaks up, “His eyes follow you whenever you come to see Ms. Welton.”

You’re positive your face has caught on fire. “He just- he must- I don’t know. I have a boyfriend… He’s really great, and- I mean- I’ll talk to Jamie.”

“I did not mean to make you uncomfortable,” Jan Maas shrugs. “It is just the facts.”

Sam puts his hand on your shoulder. “It is alright. We will take care of it. Jamie is the type of person who falls hard and fast, and sometimes he does not care if the other person is unavailable. He sees what he wants and just goes for it. It’s why he is such a good footballer.”

You smile. “Thanks, Sam. I should probably go.” You turn to Isaac and Colin. “Thanks for inviting me. I really did have a great time. And maybe next time you can actually meet my boyfriend.”

They wave, you poke Rebecca and glance at Sam, then head out, pretending you don’t see her panicked absolutely not face.

—

You text Jamie, I’m on my way, and he taps back with a heart.

Door’s unlocked he replies, and then you’re off.

He doesn’t live very far, so you’re at his house in no time at all. You can see a few dim lights on inside, so you walk up the steps and push the door open.

“Jamie?” you call, “I’m here!”

You hear his footsteps clamoring down the stairs and in a moment he’s on you, fingers threaded through your hair as you kiss. He’s pulling you close, impossibly close, then without warning he picks you up, bridal style. He’s still in his clothes from the club.

He kisses you all the way up the stairs, then places you on the edge of the bed.

“I meant what I said earlier,” he says, voice pitched low. “I fucking loved your hair.”

You shiver as he lifts your dress over your head and runs his knuckles along your sides. You note that the room is bathed in dim light, from candles Jamie has lit and placed around. There’s soft music playing somewhere and you’re honestly surprised he pulled this together in fifteen minutes. You look at him on his knees in front of you, one hand on your waist and the other on your thigh. You fumble with the buttons on his shirt then settle for lifting it over his head. 

“God,” you say, “you’re beautiful.”

He smiles, eyes hungry again. He gently pushes you back down on the bed and climbs on top of you. “Pretty sure that’s my line, babe.”

—

You don’t really talk until you’re both laying under the sheets, hours later, arms wrapped around waists and shoulders and legs intertwined.

Jamie’s kissing a trail from your shoulder to your inner elbow when you whisper, “Babe.”

He hums softly. “Yeah?”

“Do you think- do you think you should tell the team about us?”

Jamie pulls back slightly so he can look into your eyes. “Where’s this coming from?”

You shrug as best you can between his arms. “I just think it would make things easier, you know? I mean, I still think sneaking around is sexy and all, but like- it’s just getting harder and harder around Nelson Road.”

Jamie kisses the tip of your nose. “Whatever you fucking want babe. I’d give you the keys to me house if you asked.”

You smile, then let yourself drift to sleep.

—

The next morning, Jamie makes his way to his locker and tapes up a new photo. He’s holding a girl in front of Big Ben, and they’re both laughing. It’s his favorite photo. Sam sneaks a look and then does a double take.

“Jamie,” he says, disbelief written on his face, “Is that Rebecca’s friend? When did you take that?”

There’s a clamor while the team crowds around Jamie’s locker, Jamie grinning smugly.

“She’s me girlfriend. Been dating for months now. Didn’t want her to be harassed by press and you lot, so we kept it a secret.”

“I fucking knew you liked her!” Isaac says. “Body language doesn’t fucking lie.”

Jamie shrugs. “Never said I didn’t.”

“What about her boyfriend?” Dani interjects. “Does he know?”

Jamie turns to look at him, trying to gauge if he’s serious or not. “Muchacho, I’m the boyfriend.”

“Ohhh,” Dani replies, “that makes much more sense!”

“Oi, you lot!” Roy shouts. “You can discuss Tartt’s love life after fucking training. Get on the fucking pitch!”

There’s a chorus of “Yes coach, sorry coach!”

Jamie takes one last look at your picture, grins, then follows the rest of the team out the door.

[prettypumpum]

Title: Crossed Dimensions I Logan Howlett x Reader

Summary: You were living an ordinary life until the day a portal throws you into the Marvel universe. Trapped between an unbearable Deadpool and a Wolverine as troubling as he is charming, you discover powers you didn't know you had and an unknown past with certain heroes. As your anxiety grows in the face of this new reality, will you be able to find your place and perhaps become the hero they need?

Warnings: strong language, mentions of violence,

Word count: 1032

I woke up with a start. When I gathered my thoughts, I realized I was still on the plane bringing us back.

“You okay, last one?” asked Elis, our pilot.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied, exhaling a bit, my hands still trembling from the adrenaline.

“My ex, she believed in rocks and that kind of nonsense,” he began. “To improve sleep, you need rose quartz, or lapis lazuli… no, wait, aventurine,” he continued, a bitter smile on his lips.

“You sure?” Logan asked me, his face betraying his unease. I could almost see his thoughts swirling, as if he was weighing each moment spent on this plane. I noticed his fingers gripping the edge of the metal bench we were sitting on, his knuckles turning white at every bump.

To be fair, the flying coffin we were crammed into was far from the comfort of the Blackbird, with its soft leather seats and sophisticated controls. Here, each vibration of the plane reminded me that we were miles above the ground, with prayer likely the only thing keeping us in the air.

After what happened last night, we hadn’t really talked. I decided to blame “the incident” on alcohol. After all, he’d never shown the slightest hint he could be interested. And if fate hadn’t forced us to meet, he probably wouldn’t have even noticed me.

“She decided to stop loving me overnight. I’m sure it’s because of that guy she met at work,” Elis added, taking off his cap and rubbing his head, visibly frustrated. “We were supposed to get married. My father was supposed to come; he’s really sick, lung cancer…” He continued, growing sadder. “We were super close, he and I… he’s the one who taught me to fly.”

“Great, someone put another coin in the machine,” muttered Wade, still on his phone. He’d been glued to it since yesterday, probably chatting with Vanessa.

“You know, sometimes when I’m flying, I think: ‘Go on, let go, let this bird crash, you’ve got nothing left to lose, old man,’” he concluded with a nervous laugh.

At his words, Logan and I exchanged a panicked look over the pilot’s words. Logan’s fear of flying was endearing, but it was becoming more realistic by the second.

“Are we almost there?” I asked Elis, a bit panicked.

“Yeah, we’ll be landing soon. Buckle up,” he replied. I could feel the plane descending slightly, which wasn’t very reassuring given the pilot’s mental state.

Logan was completely tense. I pushed my hand over his clenched fist to calm him. I could feel tiny metal points emerging from his knuckles, pricking the skin of my palm. As the plane began to land, a second large hand rested on mine, gently holding it. My hand seemed tiny, trapped between the mutant’s large, warm hands.

“Here we are, folks,” Elis shouted cheerfully. “Say, Lydia, I was saying we could grab a drink after…”

Logan was the first to get off the plane.

“She’s not interested,” Logan growled, cutting him off. I gave him a small, embarrassed smile.

“No worries,” Elis said, fiddling with his cap as we walked away from the plane. “Oh, your friend came to pick you up,” he pointed out, gesturing toward the SUV behind the fences of the small airport.

Laura was waiting for us, sitting on the hood, playing with her phone. It’s true Al couldn’t come get us, which was probably for the best.

“It’s their daughter,” Wade said, still glued to his screen but nodding toward Logan and me.

“Oh,” Elis gasped, shocked. “But how old were you when you had her exactly?”

It was one of many unsettling things about this story. Laura was eighteen, Logan had fought in the Civil War, and I’d just celebrated my twenty-sixth birthday.

“It’s complicated,” I replied, saying goodbye to Elis.

“Hi,” she greeted us with a smile. “Did you have a good flight?”

“We’re still alive,” Logan replied, climbing into the passenger seat.

I smiled at Laura before settling in the back while she took the wheel. Wade joined me after stowing his gear in the trunk, keeping with him the extra supply Enrique had given us.

“Yes, even if he’s weird and never shuts up, he’s cheap, so let’s all give him a wave,” Wade said, flashing a bright smile. I joined in, enthusiastically waving back at the pilot as he did the same, continuing until Laura had driven us far enough away.

“Look, the whole family’s together,” Wade grinned. “Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Baby Bear, and Goldilocks,” he said, pointing to each of us, ending on his scarred face.

“Enough with your crap,” Logan growled, clearly not amused by Wade’s jokes. The whole “family” thing bothered him as much as, if not more than, me. Unlike me, Laura had known his version of Logan, who was, after all, the best Logan. It was hard for him to live up to that legend.

“Stop bugging Logan,” I asked Wade softly.

“Yes, Mama,” he replied. “It made you all tough too, huh?” he asked through the window, as if someone could see him.

“Wade,” Logan growled louder.

I was grateful Laura was there because otherwise, Logan would’ve already driven his claws into Wade’s throat and started a fight.

“Alright, calm down, kitten. Laura, you can call me Uncle Wade,” I said, joking. I could see the mutant boiling with anger. “Laura, could you be a sweet little kitty and drop me off at Vanessa’s, please?”

“Of course, Uncle Wade,” Laura replied sarcastically.

“Don’t encourage him,” Logan told her.

“His humor, she gets it from our side of the family,” Wade whispered, nudging me with his elbow.

[rafesfavoritegirl]

where currents collide

chapter 2: escape

𓂃⋆.˚ Viv, John B’s younger sister, just wants to escape the chaos of the pogues for a little while, after John B decided she can't come to a Kook party. After a night of tension and betrayal, she seeks some peace on her own, but it’s never that simple when you’re surrounded by the Pogues. What starts as a quiet moment alone on the beach turns into something unexpected when old wounds and new faces collide.

word count 1.1k

Content Warning: Mild language, emotional conflict, sibling dynamics, mentions of substance use, and tension-filled situations.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of family trauma (loss of a parent), emotional distress, mild substance use (marijuana), and moments of secrecy and betrayal.

As I watched everyone leave the house, I accepted defeat with humility. They were always going to perceive me as a little girl. I was disappointed in Jj most of all. He never used to choose sides. But now, knowing how he really felt, it stung to realize he was just like the rest of them. It all left me mentally and physically drained, pushing me to take a nap and escape for a little while from everything that had happened.

༄ ༄ ༄

I woke up feeling dehydrated, still unsettled by everything that had occurred earlier tonight. In an effort to clear my head, I decided to build a bonfire. I do not often get the house to myself, so I figured it was the perfect chance. Stepping into the yard, I spotted the hammock that Jj, John B, and I had put up when we were kids, still hanging from the tree. I grabbed some extra firewood to revive the ashes from the bonfire a couple nights before and headed back inside for a lighter, my phone, and my headphones.

Once I was back in the yard, I started to light the fire. When the flames finally caught, I settled into the hammock, slipped in my earbuds, and blasted my favorite playlist. The cool breeze brushed against my face, and for a moment, I realized maybe it wasn't so bad to have missed out on the chaos of tonight.

Just as I started to get comfortable in the silence combined with the arguments that happened previously, I did not hear the infamous sound of the half-broken twinkie entering the front yard, muffled by the music still in my ears. Once settled in, they made their way into the backyard, and suddenly, I could not ignore the look on their faces. They sat down, unintentionally crashing my bonfire, their eyes landing on me in my relaxed state.

"See? Told you staying home wouldn't kill you," John B said with a smug grin, clearly pleased with himself.

It only fueled my internal anger, making it burn even deeper. How could they sit there, knowing I was still upset? No apology, just laughing and reminiscing about the greatest night they have ever had, like nothing was wrong. Seeing my best friends ignore my existence, continuing to smile and laugh while I sat there in utter silence.

Hearing them all talk over one another, what caught my attention was Kie's voice: "Dude, when Jj brought the gun! I swear we were gonna get arrested," she said, and the rest of them laughed, agreeing with her.

I pulled off my headphones, cutting in. "Wait, what gun? What happened?" I asked, concern and curiosity creeping into my voice.

Kie dismissed me with a casual wave. "It was nothing," she said, laughing as she spun around, her back turned to me once again.

That was it. I stood up abruptly, my frustration boiling over. "Fuck this," I muttered, walking off without another word.

I headed to my room, shutting the door behind me, and sat down. For a moment, I just stared at the wall, my mind racing, trying to figure out what to do next. It took a moment, the silence giving me too much space to think.

༄ ༄ ༄

The bright white full moon shined through my window, and suddenly, an idea sparked. I needed to get to the beach—just to clear my head. I knew everyone was asleep by now, either in the living room or in John B's room, given the lack of space in our house.

That thought reminded me of how I would get there? The idea hit me out of nowhere, like a sudden rush of clarity. I could just take Jj's weed and the keys to his dirt bike. I needed a way to get out—escape, even if just for a little while—and the bike would get me to the beach in no time. Jj would not even notice, right? It was not like he was gonna miss it tonight, or even notice it was gone. Fixating on the thought, I convinced myself I would be back in time.

I knew where he kept everything—he always kept his stash of marijuana in that jar on the communal nightstand, and the keys to his bike were usually tossed carelessly on the dresser. I could not even explain why I was doing it, but it felt like the only way to get some space.

With that thought in mind, I quietly crept toward his room, my heart racing, but my mind set on the plan. I quietly opened Jj's door and paused for a moment, glancing at him as he slept, admiring how peaceful and cute he looked. A rush of guilt hit me—doing this behind his back felt wrong, but I could not shake what he had done. I knew he would be furious if he found out, but I had to go through with it. I tiptoed over to the drawer, quickly sorting through his mess, finding condoms and loose jewellery, until I found his dirt bike keys, weed and rolling paper. I left the house swiftly, starting up the bike, the engine roaring to life. I glanced back at the worn-down house, checking the window to see if I had woken anyone up. Coast clear. I grabbed the items I needed, then rushed out of his room, with everything at hand, I knew there was no turning back now.

༄ ༄ ༄

The moon reflected off the blue ocean as I parked the bike and made my way down to the beach—the same one the Pogues had visited not too long ago during their rioting. A few kooks were still hanging around, but I paid them no mind. I spread out my blanket and got ready to roll up.

I sat there, the mix of marijuana and saltwater breeze filling the air. For the first time in a while, I felt at peace, the worn-down headphones that I had earlier playing softly as I drifted into a stoned calm.

The kooks from when I had first arrived were packing up. Their infamous jeeps slowly rolled off the beach, and a part of me did not care, but another part felt relieved to be completely alone now—no talking, no people. Just silence.

That was until I saw a tall, shadowy figure making its way toward me. I did not think much of it, assuming they would just pass by. But then, without warning, the figure sat next to me. I was confused—though, in my stoned state, it did not register right away. I glanced to my right and froze. It was none other than Rafe Cameron.

Follow the wattpad, this fanfic will be posted consecutively every week with new chapters! : https://www.wattpad.com/user/rafesfavoritegirl-

[lovecarisi]

Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

Chapter 6: Relief

Dominick’s not there when you wake up. It’s almost 11am and your head feels like it’s about to split open. The curtains are still drawn and you’re thankful for the dark room. There’s water, coffee, and aspirin on the nightstand and you swallow pretty much everything within seconds before sinking back down into the pillow. Your stomach is in knots but not from the alcohol. You remember. Not word for word but you remember the gist of it. Fuck. The embarrassment you feel is overwhelming. What the fuck were you thinking? Even for drunk you, this is a new low. Normally you pride yourself in not making a fool of yourself under the influence; you’re usually the drunk friend that keeps all the other drunk friends in check. Damn, you knew as soon as you arrived at this house, as soon as you and Dominick entered this room with your bags that this would be a test and that you would fail miserably. God. And this had only been Day One. Now what would await you? Would he be mad? Sad? Would he call it quits? He would probably volunteer to sleep on the sofa for the remainder of the weekend. Not with that crazy girl he regrettably chose to fuck a few weeks ago who turned out to be a mess. Surprise, surprise. 

Wait, was there crying? Did you cry? And did he hold you and did you cry even more when he did? Oh good lord. 

A knock on the door. Fuck. 

‘It’s me.’ Louisa. Thank God. 

She comes in and closes the door. Sits on the bed next to you. 

‘I’m guessing you’re as hungover as the rest of us?’ she smiles a painful smile.

‘I sure am. Where’s Dominick? Is he okay?’ you ask, not sure if you’re ready for the answer. 

‘He’s downstairs. Preparing for the barbeque. He’s going mental, I can tell you, like crazy. That guy has some mad skills when it comes to food. He’s made some marinade - I don’t know what he put in there but it smells so delicious I wanna bathe in it. So yeah, he’s okay, why wouldn’t he be? Did something happen? Did you break his dick or something?’ she giggles and you sigh with relief. 

‘No, we just…I was drunk and said some words. Things. Stuff. I don’t know.’

‘Oh God, what did you say!?!’

‘I’m not sure. Something about him being too good for me. And I might have said that he thinks he has feelings for me but he doesn’t really, and that he will make a good husband for someone one day but just not for me. It was crazy drunk talk and now I hate myself, what can I say. Also I’m pretty sure I started crying because he got annoyed and then he had to comfort me.’

‘Oh honey, no. No you didn’t.’ Louisa looks at you in the most pitying way a best friend can and you feel even more sorry for yourself.

‘Yeah, I did. I feel so awkward. I don’t even know how to face him to be honest. Knowing him, and knowing how fucking good of a man he is, he will definitely pretend he doesn’t remember and I know he remembers because he wasn’t nearly as drunk. So I’m gonna have to pretend that I believe him.’ 

‘Just fuck it out like you always do.’ she suggests and you nod because obviously, that’s what’s most likely going to happen.

Louisa heads back downstairs and you get up and take a shower. Luckily, you feel slightly better afterwards, at least physically. Now comes the hard part. And you decide to be a woman about it. As you walk into the kitchen, Dominick is still there, preparing food with Louisa’s help but she flees as she sees you coming and you give her a grateful smile. He looks up and you wrap your arms around his waist, and thankfully he leans into you invitingly. 

‘I’m sorry about last night.’ you whisper, looking for a reaction from him and he gives you a soft smile. ‘I think I still have a lot of…stuff I haven’t dealt with from my past relationship and I guess that all came up in my drunken state. And I’m sorry I projected that onto you. That wasn’t fair. But you are a good man. And that other man would have taken advantage, so thank you for taking care of me last night. And for not being angry with me.’ 

You’re not quite sure if it’s the entire truth; whether your past relationship has anything to do with what you felt about Dominick last night. But for now it’s the best explanation you can come up with, for yourself and for him. So you mean it, earnestly. And he turns towards you and hugs you, kisses your hair, and you feel so much relief. There’s so much rawness in this moment between you two, you somehow wish you could take it back but at the same time you savor every second of it. 

‘It’s okay, my sweet. I could never be angry with you. And we all have our stuff. I get it. Don’t worry, yeah?’ he assures you and you hug him tighter.

You can tell he’s relieved too, and you’ve been given more time. How much more you don’t know. One month, two, three. Until the end of the summer maybe. Another tremor has passed. 

_______________

The rest of your 4th of July celebrations continue on without a hitch. You and Louisa help Dominick finish with the food, he wouldn’t let anyone else touch anything even though the others offer but he shoos them away. In exchange they take charge of the barbecuing and everything is delicious and you have the most fun, relaxed day, this time with a much more controlled alcohol intake. When the fireworks start in the evening, everyone is busy with each other so Dominick pulls you away and up the stairs and there you are again, naked and entangled under the sheets.

Compared to yesterday afternoon, it’s slow and passionate and you hold on to him for dear life, and it’s probably all the emotions of last night, for both of you. You try not to let it get to you but let’s face it, you are not a very good actress. 

‘It’s okay.’ he whispers as he sinks into you, kissing you deeply. Is this what Louisa meant when she said ‘fuck it out’?

You shut off your mind and let your body take over, or rather, you let Dominick take over your body. Your legs wrap around him and you focus solely on the feeling of him inside you, his skin against yours, his breath, the way he moans your name. It’s an intoxicating feeling having him this close. If you’re being completely honest with yourself it messes with your mind and perhaps that’s why you prefer the less intimate ways. One could argue that being on all fours and having a man raw you from behind is even more intimate but no, this is it for you. There’s no escaping how he looks into your eyes, how he kisses you; you are trapped, not just physically. Of course it feels wonderful, there’s no denying it. Everything is so intense with Dominick, and in these moments he brings you to the brink of almost forgetting that you are only lovers, not in love. And that is a dangerous thing. 

So yes, it’s cute and lovely when you ‘make love’ but you will always try to fuck instead for that exact reason. To avoid the feeling in your stomach you get when your eyes meet and he tells you that there isn’t a minute of the day he doesn’t think of you. And you should feel delighted but there’s regret and guilt you feel when he says it, so you kiss him again desperately so he doesn’t realize. So then you shut off your mind because you’ve had enough of your own fucked up thoughts this weekend and you try to focus on just the way your body feels. And your back arches as Dominick thrusts into you, still slowly but expertly hitting your gspot. He cups your breast softly, telling you how beautiful you are, and you do feel beautiful with him, and you do tell him he’s beautiful too because he is. Your hands grab his arms, tracing the muscles there, up his shoulders, down his back, leaving light scratch marks on his tanned skin, and you know he likes it as he hisses into your ear. You’ve gotten carried away in the past, just looking at him; while he was sleeping, while he was lying next to you in the sun. Giving him up will mean going cold turkey and you know it so you have to enjoy every inch of him as long as you can. You do wish you could stop time. 

When you pack your bags the next day it feels surprisingly bittersweet. All the anxiety you felt about sharing a room with Dominick for the weekend has been replaced by sadness that it’s over and you two have to leave your love nest behind. First night’s alcohol-fueled antics aside, it’s been really nice and knowing you’ll never get this back makes your heart sink. He seems to read your mind.

‘This wasn’t so bad.’ Dominick says, grabbing his toiletries from the bathroom. 

‘Yeah, well, apart from my little emotional outburst I’d say we did pretty good.’ 

‘Happens to the best of us.’ he smirks but you still wish you could make it unhappen. 

‘I guess we’re not gonna see each other for a while then, huh?’ you’re referring to the Bar of course, and the fact that it’s less than four weeks to the exam and all of you have to study and none of you need distractions.

‘For real? I’d think we need a bit of a, y’know, stress relief, at the end of each day. Like, as a reward.’ he’s standing there with his hands on his hips, all serious and you have to laugh. 

‘Okay, fair enough. So a stress relief fuck date every night?’ 

‘You don’t have to make it sound so seedy but yeah.’ 

You roll your eyes at him, cursing him for being adorable and so needy for you. Truth be told, you don’t think you could have gone even a week without him. If he hadn’t suggested it, you would have been at his door in a matter of days, scratching like a starved kitten, begging to be fed and petted. You’re just as bad as he is. 

________________

So it goes. Your alarm wakes you every day at 6am. A shower, a huge cup of iced coffee, a quick breakfast, and then it’s you and the books and papers until noon. You allow yourself ten minutes for a lunch break, usually some prepared snack or a bagel, more coffee, repeat. Time flies by and soon it’s 8pm and your stomach is growling and your doorbell rings and it’s Dominick and he always brings food and you devour it and then you devour each other. He was right about the stress relief. It does wonders. By 9.30pm you are usually asleep, worn out from studying and sex. He stays with you some nights but he knows not to be there when your alarm goes off so you have developed a routine although you do allow yourself to spend the weekends at his place, studying together, a little bit more relaxed. 

You admire his brain. The way he thinks. You have no doubt he’s going to pass the Bar with ease. Dominick says the same thing about you but you have always been unsure of yourself while he has this confidence, this tenacity that seems to just flow through him naturally. When you imagine him as a lawyer, you can just see a jury hanging on his every word while he delivers his opening or closing arguments or questions the witnesses; his intelligence, eloquence and charm all paired up will make for a deadly combination in a courtroom. It certainly worked on you, from the very first second. Dominick has this force of attraction about him that makes everyone around him, no matter the gender, want to be close to him, talk to him, have his attention. And at times it had made you jealous before realizing that you were the center of his attention, always. You’ve never used the term ‘exclusive’ and there have been instances when gorgeous girls have made their way over to him while you were nowhere near him but watching from afar. There were no rules about flirting with other people and he was unaware you were even looking but it put a winning smile on your face every time you saw him ignore their advances. In all honesty, the thought of him with someone else killed you inside. You knew, eventually you would both move on from one another and then some other girl would have him. Once you let him go you would have to be ready for that. But right now you weren’t ready to let him go just yet. 

_______________

The day of the Bar finally came and went and overall you have a good feeling about it. Now all you could do is wait for the results, stay at your part-time job in the meantime, or, if you’re lucky, get that clerk position with Emily at the UN you applied for. At the moment though, you’re in limbo, so you enjoy the summer, let the pressure fall off your shoulders, and celebrate with your friends. 

One of your fellow students is throwing a party on the rooftop of his apartment building the day after the exam. It’s the hottest day of the summer, or so they said and you’re wearing your skimpiest dress, hair up, and trying to cool yourself by pressing a cold glass of Vodka Soda against your neck. Dominick is late, on the hunt for more ice he promised to bring. You scan the crowd, wondering how many of these people will stay in your life now that you don’t even see each other at the library anymore. It’s a new chapter in your life for all of you and a lot of you will move on, perhaps even you. At the end of the day though, New York is a village and being in the same profession, you will run into each other, like it or not. 

A cold pair of hands on your shoulders interrupts your thoughts and you shriek in surprise, turning around to find Dominick giggling at you. 

‘Ugh, you’re so mean!’ you scold but kiss the corner of his mouth, hugging him. 

‘And here I was thinking you’d appreciate it considering this heat!’ he hugs you back, swaying you from side to side a little.

‘With a bit of a warning, maybe.’ there you are again, back and forth like an old married couple. You have to roll your eyes at yourself. 

‘You look divine.’ he says and lets go of you, looking you up and down.

‘I’m sweating, everywhere.’

‘That’s hot. Won’t make a difference then when I tear off that dress and throw you down somewhere to-’ you put your finger on his lips to shut him up as you see some of your friends approaching.

That visual he gave you stays with you the entire night. And apparently, he has some thoughts on his mind as well. You can tell by how his fingers are brushing the back of your thighs just below the hem of your dress every time he walks by you. The way he tucks the loose strands of your hair behind your ears whenever he stands next to you, hand lingering there for a bit too long. The way his eyes are focusing on your lips whenever you suck on your straw and you make a point of licking them ever so often, on purpose, of course. Fluttering your lashes up at him innocently, making him blush because he sure as fuck is thinking about your mouth wrapped around his cock. And he sighs and looks away, and swears under his breath and you giggle and he comes back, his hand on the small of your back. 

And you check that no one is watching and you stick your butt out a little and he double-checks for witnesses, and his hand wanders there for a brief second. Cupping your asscheek, squeezing before he withdraws quickly as though he burned himself on a hot oven. Then your fingers, wet from the condensation of your cold glass, casually wander down your neck to the mounds of your breasts, leaving a moist trail you know he is dying to lick. He clears his throat, moving closer again and you feel the heat of his body against yours, you can swear he’s shaking as he grabs your thigh, fingers digging into your flesh under the makeshift bar. He’s dangerously close to your lace-covered center, a few more inches and he would feel just how wet you are from toying with him like this. So you walk away to the other side of the roof, out of sight a little bit, leaning against the wall, waiting for him to join you. 

‘You’re being a really bad girl tonight.’ Dominick sighs, flustered out of his mind. 

‘I can be even worse.’ you grin, shoving your leg between his legs, feeling him get hard. 

‘Don’t you dare.’ he warns softly but you know he has lost this battle already and there’s not much he can do. 

‘What? Hmm?’ you raise your leg, until your thigh is at his crotch, moving back and forth gently over him. 

‘Stop!’

‘You came over here. You followed me. Just walk away then. You can’t, huh?’ you laugh, continuing your movements.

‘No, I can’t. You got me in a chokehold and you know it. You and these red lips.’ his thumb is on your bottom lip and you open your mouth, sucking it in, making him gasp.

‘You want something else in there, don’t you, Dominick?’ you look up at him and he has that look on his face, that look of denial but you know what he wants. ‘You want me to be a really, really bad girl? You want me to suck your cock and swallow your cum for you, hmm? Every last drop? I want it so bad, Dominick. I want to taste you so bad. Have you throbbing in my mouth.’ 

He curses and grabs you and you giggle while he pulls you toward the rooftop exit. Down the stairs you go until you find a dark corner in the stairwell, and soon that red lipstick of yours is leaving marks down his neck, chest and stomach. And you get on your knees and unbuckle his belt and his head falls back against the cool wall and you feel dizzy because he looks so fucking hot and you can’t wait to make him feel good. His cock is rock hard as you pull down his underwear and you take him into your mouth hungrily, and he growls your name desperately. He can’t help but grab your head and fuck into you but you don’t mind; on the contrary, you can feel yourself growing even wetter as his cock hits the back of your throat, making you gag slightly. You riled him up good all evening and seeing him lose it is all you wanted.  

It doesn’t take long until you can feel his muscles tense but instead of picking up the pace he withdraws from your mouth, leaving you surprised as he pulls you up. His hand immediately under your dress, feeling for your wetness and he smiles before kissing you sinfully.  

‘Ah, you thought you could fuck with me? Act like you got me all wrapped around your little finger? Like you’re the one in control. Nuh-uh, kitten. Look how wet you are for me. Two can play that game, baby.’ he whispers, shoving you against the wall as he removes your thong.

You want to protest but his words make you delirious as he wraps your legs around his hips, aligning himself with your entrance. He kisses you again and slips into you without effort, immediately starting a hard, relentless rhythm, fucking you against the wall. 

Fuck. You come undone. Yes, you wanted to be in control but now he’s making you lose all of it. All you can do is hold on to him while he slams into you, over and over. It’s quick, it’s rough, it lasts only a few minutes. The only sounds are your moans and your bodies, slick with sweat, pounding together. And you cum hard and unexpectedly, biting down on his shoulder to stifle a scream that the whole apartment complex would have heard otherwise. He can barely hold you up, his own knees buckling from his orgasm, and when it’s over you just hang from each other, foreheads pressed together, panting, shaking. 

And then somewhere above you you can hear a door open and footsteps coming down the stairs and you quickly gather up your clothes and retreat further into the corner, giggling. 

‘How ironic would it be if we’d get arrested one day after taking the Bar?’ he says, zipping up his jeans while you pull up your thong. 

__________________

Half an hour later Dominick walks you home and kisses you goodnight in front of your building. You can tell he wants to come up but you leave for Connecticut in the morning, to visit your family for a few days. Come to think of it, it’s the longest you’ve been without him since the two weeks at the beginning of your summer fling. And you admit to yourself that you’re going to miss him terribly.    

__________________

thank you so much to my betareader for this chapter @pascalispretty aka The Rose of the Reach on AO3 please check out her works!)

tagging @plaidbooks @eltrujillo :)

[thelittleliars]

Would it kill you to smile? At least once in a while?

Natasha Romanoff x Reader (Platonic) Wanda Maximoff x Reader (Former lovers; now platonic) Wanda Maximoff x Reader x Natasha Romanoff (platonic)

Warnings: Depression, suicidal thoughts, angst -> fluff?

Words: 1.5K

Summary: Your girlfriend demanded the most difficult task from you. Natasha came to your rescue.

AN: Another one shot since I have not come any further with P.S. I Want You. It hurts me that I do not know what do to with Chapter 3. I just can't seem to get it going :( Anyways I hope you enjoy this little idea that I came up with a couple days ago. (The title are lyrics from the song 'under the weather' by CORPSE)

"Would it kill you to smile?" Your current girlfriend Jade snapped, the frustration and anger in her voice was clear. "I mean at least once in a while?! And especially in pictures!" Her words cute you deep, they broke you in a way that you didn't know existed. You felt angry, sad and betrayed by her. Depression was no joke and she knew what she was getting into from the start since you were nothing but an open book about your long battle with the chronic mental illness. All those nights she was there for you in the best possible way, in the darkest of your days she was the light - you anchor, so you honestly couldn't understand why she exploded like this. 

"Yes." You stated. "Yes it would kill me." Your voice cracked, the pain she caused was obvious but she didn't care for some reason. But even if she did care in that situation, it wouldn't have made a difference. Her words were an unforgiving betrayal that you never thought would happen. "You of all people should know how awful my depression is. How could you even ask that of me?!"

"Because my friends thinks that you're miserable because of me!" She shouted again. Tears started to flow down your face. 

"You could have just straight up told them about my depression! Fuck Jade, the entire world knows about my depression ever since I dated Wanda. It's not even a fucking secret that I had multiple suicide attempts while dating her and she never minded what people said about her because of that. She even encourage me to go with her to interviews and to openly talks about it. The awareness we brought on this topic is insane. It's not a tabu topic." 

Before Jade could open her mouth to shout more cruel words at you, Natasha came out of the shadows and interrupted your conversation. "It's time for you to go Jade." The red head looked at you with deep concern in her eyes, knowing first hand that all of this is extremely triggering for you and she did not want you to spiral badly again. "Fuck off Romanoff, we're not  done here!" That was a huge mistake - you thought. Nobody can ever fuck with Natasha Romanoff, not unless you're Yelena Belova or one of her 'girls'; meaning her extremely close friends that contains Wanda, Maria and you. "Out. Now." Natasha was calm but her voice was ice cold. Though her words wasn't meant for you, a cold shiver ran down you spine. You can only imagine how scary it was to be on the other side of her words. 

"Fuck." Fear replaced the jealousy that ran through Jade's veins. Only when Natasha indicated of making a move on her, she ran away fast without ever looking back. Natasha turned to you with open arms, hugging you dearly to her chest. The feeling of her arms around you gave you the safeness to break down completely. Her hands gently rubbed up and down your back, it was her way to comfort you, no words needed to be said. After a while you finally stopped crying but the black widow still didn't remove herself from you. "Maybe the world really is better without me." It hurt her to hear those words, though you constantly had your up and downs, she believed you were in a good place before Jade blew up. Was she so wrong? Or was it all because of this triggering situation? "Dorogoy, I can tell you with certainty that my world definitely would not be better without you. It would be miserable but if you honestly feel like you can't live like this anymore, I don't have the right to tell you to stay. That would be cruel of me." Your hands that were around her tightened. "I just wanted you to know you're not alone and that the world is definitely not better without you. If you're still not sure then ask Wanda. She of all people knows how it feels like and appreciates you the most."

"Thank you for always being there for me Nat." She whispered a small 'always' before giving you a kiss on your forehead. The two of you stayed in each others arms for another 5 minutes. You then decided it was time for some space. She gave you the room but didn't leave you alone yet, afraid of your thoughts running wild. "Tell you what. We're gonna go to the movies to watch a film and then we'll to your boss about a leave since you need a break. I'll then show you a shield facility that could help get better, if you're up for it."

You shook your head. All you wanted to do was laying in bed and sleep. "I can't Natty. I'm just so exhausted." The other woman nodded. "I understand." She said with a sad smile. She was still determined to not leave you alone with your thoughts so she came with another idea. "What if we watch a movie in my room? Getting snacks and Wanda to join us? You even can fall asleep while we give you some cuddles."  

Relief and appreciation was written all over your face. While you went to the kitchen for snacks, Natasha pulled out her phone and called Wanda, commanding the witches ass to her room. All three of you met in Natasha's room with Wanda being the last one to arrive. "I couldn't find my best fluffy blanket at first but here it is!" She proudly lifted up the white-blue striped fluffy blanket before throwing it into your face. "Thanks Wands. I brought you guys Sour Patch Kids, chips, mini pretzels, popcorn and your favorite sodas."

Natasha let out a mix of a groan and moan. "Way to make a girls knees weak.." The widow said as she made her way onto the bed. You snorted a bit too loud to your liking but also tried to ignore your little embarrassment. "That's not the only way to make girls knees weak." You had a suggestive look on your face which made Natasha blush. Wanda took that opportunity to tease you. "Oh my, who knew you still had it in you?" 

You turned your head towards her as she was just getting onto the bed next to you. "I believe you're just too old to keeping up with me." At that, Natasha laughed out loud. It was a nice to hear it since you liked the sound of her laugh, it brought you a sense of home.

Wanda took slight offense in your words. "I'm only a year older than you!" She exclaimed with a gasp. You shrugged your shoulder. "My point still stands." Wanda rolled her eyes. "Rude.." Shaking your head was the only thing you could come up with as retort. You got under the blanket, which was very soft and fluffy, and held it up for the other two women to join you underneath it. Natasha teased the other red head all while getting closer to you. "Face it Wands, you're getting old." 

"I'm getting old? Should I mention your age Miss Romanoff?" Wanda got sassy in a way you hadn't seen in years. It was endearing to hear the banter between girls that meant a lot to you. The older red head felt attacked by the younger woman, though both knew they said it out of fun. "Don't you dare!"

You interrupted them since you loved putting your input in this banter. They just amused you very much. "Ohh but I dare you too." 

"Y/N no! Not you too." She looked at you with puppy eyes. "I thought you liked me."

"I do. I love your guys' drama more than a movie so go ahead and continue." It nearly brought out a smile of you but the small urge to do so vanished quickly as your mind reminded you that you don't deserve to be happy. They both sensed the mood shift in you afterwards so they changed the topic by deciding which movie to put on. They both choose Encanto, a movie you had yet to see but only heard great things about. You started to cuddle and hug Wanda's side like a koala bear. Suddenly you felt drained again so you closed your eyes. But something was still missing for you to feel at peace. "Nat?" - "Mhm?" - "Could you spoon me from behind?" She came up behind you and spooned you exactly as you requested. "Like this?" Natasha made sure that you were comfortable and didn't cross your boundaries. You quickly grabbed her hand and put around your waist. "Like this yes. Thank you." You felt safe with both of them laying there like that. They both gave you a kiss on your heard, telling you that they loved you. You only hum in acknowledgement since the sound of their steady breaths and the movie noises in the background made you sleepy. You soon fell asleep in their embrace as your heart and mind didn't feel as heavy as before.

[eggymf-archived]

of paper planes and wildflowers; 01

ft. ominis gaunt with f!reader (series)

chapter warnings: nsfw, semi-public sex, chaotically embarrassing situations,  mild dubcon, aphrodisiac, feeble attempt at ominis slander for plot(?) purposes, not proofread, unedited

chapter summary:  from teenage gossips to formulating random drinks together with your best friend, everything goes completely awry in the most unexpectedly worst way possible. 

word count: 4k

a/n: i wrote this during 1 am in the morning after a mental breakdown lmao what’s good D:

main masterlist || series masterlist || AO3

“That’s the seventh time you sighed in the last five minutes.”

You grumbled in response at Natsai’s observation, dropping your forehead flat on the table with a distinct thud, much to Madam Scribner’s chagrin who harshly shushed you with a matching glare. Natsai gave the said librarian an apologetic look before turning towards you again with concern.

"Probably ‘cause of her mum again, I reckon,” Garreth piped, flipping his book to the next page as he scribbled down on his rolled-out parchment. You shuddered in response, recalling that damned Howler you received from your mother prior this week when she found out you had landed yourself in detention with Garreth again. Your mother expected great academic success from you and for you to behave yourself, especially during this year when you’ll be taking your OWLs.

“I’m sure you’ll do great for your OWLs. Despite the trouble you get yourself into, you always excel in your studies anyway,” Natsai comforted, rubbing your shoulder as you let out yet another sigh. Yes, you were having problems with your mum’s incessant reminder of picking a career path, and yes, you were tremendously feeling pressured about acing your OWLs. But there was another problem:  a huge one in fact - so huge you couldn’t even tell your two close friends about it. 

“I’ll be fine, you two. I just have a lot in my mind lately,” you mumbled, laying your cheek flat on the surface of the table while staring at an empty table from the distance. 

“I’d say. You’ve been on the edge eversince that potions incident,” Garreth pointed out, earning a fairly loud snort from you.

“Which potions incident, Garreth? Last time I checked, you’ve had a total of three incidents this month,” you teased.

“Oh shush. It wasn’t that bad!” the ginger-haired Gryffindor laughed. “I’m talking about that one drink we concocted around two to three weeks ago. The one that you drank?”

Your cheeks slightly pinked at the memory: of course you remember that incident. It was the main reason that has caused you to get stuck in this infernal situation, after all.

“Pretty sure it's not the potion, Garreth. I’m assuming this is just my academic stress finally getting to me,” you dismissively reasoned, thus dropping the subject to concentrate on each of your respective tasks.

You half-expected your 5th year to be like the usual: focusing on your studies, literally brewing mischief and greatness with Garreth, sneaking out of the castle grounds to “practice” your duelling (extracurricular activities, as you’d like to call it) with Natsai occasionally tagging along, and so much more. Aside from the utter chaos that was presently occurring within the wizarding world, who would’ve thought that your life would also end up being in a state of frenzy. 

You shouldn’t have had that particular conversation with Garreth back then. You shouldn’t have drank that damned potion either. But in your defense, you wouldn’t have tried anything weird from the ginger-haired boy unless you actually helped him with the concoction. You’re pretty well-versed with various ingredients, priding yourself to be both book smart and pro-active in collecting various ingredients from the highlands yourself. But alas you were still a student - a silly little student making silly little mistakes. Somewhere along the process of making that certain concoction, you had messed up the calculations of the ingredients’ ratio - something that would prove to be rather grave on your part. 

You and Garreth were hanging out together at the Transfiguration Courtyard after class, the both of you discussing several ingredient combinations as usual. While he scribbled notes on a piece of parchment during the ongoing conversation, you were practicing non-verbal spellcasting for simple charms. However, the conversation took a different turn when you noticed Garreth’s voice slowly faltering as a certain housemate of yours passed by while carrying several thick books. You smirked in realization, calling out the ebony-haired female. Garreth elbowed you harshly, giving you a half-hearted glare. The female turned and smiled towards the both of you in acknowledgment before heading off.

“Blimey, Garreth. Samantha Dale?” you asked, causing him to flush bright pink. “Since when?”

“Last year during potions. That time when Sharp made her switch places with you,” he admitted, causing you to teasingly snicker.

“W-what? It’s not like you haven’t had a crush!” he sputtered.

“I hate to disappoint you but no, I haven’t,” you deadpanned.

“Tell you what, let me ask you this question instead. If you were given the choice, who would you snog in our year?”

“Garreth Weasley, I am NOT answering that!”

“I’ll get the answers right out of you whether you like it or not and you know it. Is it Amit?”

“No.”

“Is it me?”

You slapped his arm in response, earning a laugh from him.

“I’ll take that as a no. Leander?”

“I’d rather get kissed by a dementor.”

“Touché. Perhaps Sebastian?” 

“Have you seen how he looks at the new 5th year? Poor lad looks like a lovesick crup puppy it makes me sick.”

Garreth paused, deep in thought. His lips curled into a smug grin.

Oh no. This isn’t good. 

“Ominis Gaunt?”

A pregnant silence ensued, your expression utterly mortified. Garreth guffawed at your bewildered state, running away from you as you chased him down. Your face was a bright shade of red - whether it is out of embarrassment, denial, realization, or the fact that you were greatly offended by the mere suggestion, Garreth has already arrived to his own conclusion. He was absolutely never going to live this down. After all, you were normally straightforward especially when it came to your preferences: your hesitation was already an obvious sign to the answer.

Tomfoolery aside, Garreth knew you didn’t really like Ominis. To you, Ominis was a sardonic little gossip. Whenever something of note had occurred and anyone involved passes by, he would often quip about their little secrets or actions alongside his unsolicited opinions. His reputation as a Gaunt also played a part as to why you steered clear of him as much as possible: they were proud, volatile, discriminatory, and has a long history with dark magic.

Everyone in Hogwarts always say that it was impossible for secrets to be kept within the castle walls. If the castle walls have ears, then one of those set of ears most likely belonged to Ominis himself. Unfortunately, that would prove to be a correct statement for your particular little case: a certain male with a particularly strong sense of hearing might’ve picked up on your conversation with Garreth earlier.

“Are you sure about this?” Garreth asked as you grabbed the phial from the potions table. “You don’t need to be the test subject, you know? We could just get other people to try it out.”

The concoction that you’ve been working on together with Garreth now rests in your hand. The both of you haven’t named it yet, but it was supposed to stimulate the mind to focus better and to give its drinker an energy boost. Given how stressed you are with your academic subjects and the fact that you’re on the verge of a mental breakdown, you didn’t really care as long as the potion did something to improve your performance.

“It’s the weekend tomorrow, Garreth. If this goes wrong, I have two days tops to get better. I doubt I’ll even need to go to the hospital wing though,” you reassured, taking a sip. The liquid was fizzy, tasted like sherbet lemons, and it brought a pleasant little buzz at the back of your head after a while. Garreth stared at you expectantly.

“Well...?”

“Hmm. So far, so good. We’ll see what happens for the rest of the day,” you said.

“Grand. I’ll see you later then!”

You and Garreth headed off to your own respective classes. You headed off to the Transfiguration Classroom, feeling increasingly invigorated as the potion took its effect bit by bit. You were rather proud of the concoction you and Garreth had made. It felt as if you chugged a vial of Felix Felicis - nothing would ever go wrong for the day and luck was definitely on your side. 

“Hopefully this little boost lasts until I’m done with all my assignments,” you mumbled to yourself as you entered the Transfiguration Classroom, sitting at one of the vacant desks. Your classmates began to pour in, occupying the remaining seats while you flipped through the pages of your textbook, mulling over the possible lesson for today. Right as Professor Weasley left her office to enter the classroom, the classroom doors barged open revealing the flushed faces Sebastian Sallow and Ominis Gaunt.

“Ah, you two are just in time. Please take your seats,” Professor Weasley said. The two panting boys complied, heading to the remaining vacant seats, which was the one right beside you and the other was beside Cressida Blume. The opal-eyed male opted to occupy the one beside you, much to your hidden distress. You were thankful that you didn’t have Garreth as a classmate here - it would’ve been a nightmare seeing his smug little grin and him occasionally making kissy faces to mock the remaining patience right out of your entire being. 

Thankfully, the class was rather uneventful aside from a brief lecture and all of you trying out the Vanishing Spell on several objects. You kept stealing not-so-secret glances at the boy beside you as he made his own attempts, flawlessly executing the spells within a few tries. As much as you hated to admit it, the Gaunts truly did have their own unique allure. Ominis was one of the living proofs - he looked quite elegant and easy on the eyes compared to most of the guys in your year: milky blue eyes, alabaster skin, beauty marks, and dirty blonde hair that was always neatly-styled. He was someone that people would most likely stare at out of admiration.

“You know I can feel you staring at me, right?”

Until he opens his mouth, that is.

“Hmm? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you deadpanned, causing his lips to curl into a knowing smirk. You didn’t like that a single bit, and you wanted this class to end so that you could go about your merry little way avoiding the Gaunt as you always did.

“...On that note, I’ll be assigning you all into pairs. Your partners for this assignment are your current seatmates: I’ll be expecting a 6-inch essay compilation of the Inanimatus Conjurus Spell by next week. Class dismissed.”

Your face fell.

“Is there something the matter?” Professor Weasley asked, noticing your rather upfront reaction. You shook your head vehemently, earning a couple of snorts and giggles from your classmates. You quickly shut your textbook and got up.

“Catch you around. Try compose yourself the next time we sit together, won’t you?” Ominis mocked jokingly as he left. You pointedly stared at his retreating back, silently quelling your mild annoyance.

For the most part, you stayed out of trouble for the entire day, focusing on your assignments and catching up on advanced self-studying. The drink proved to be quite a success so far - it was nearly as effective as an Invigorating Draught, and it helped you sort out the tricky bits from your assignments without contemplating on it way too much. You’ve been holed up in the library eversince your last period, and you still felt quite energetic. The library was getting more and more empty, with students opting to go to the Great Hall for their dinners or back to their common rooms. Meanwhile you just got out of the Transfiguration Section after getting the necessary reference books for that blasted compiled essay due next week. 

Suddenly, you felt your head throb, causing you to drop the books rather unceremoniously on the table. Good thing Madam Scribner wasn’t nearby or she would’ve chided you for not handling school property with care. You uncapped the phial of the concoction, chugging the last remaining contents. Perhaps the effect was lessening hence the sudden dizzying headache.

Oh but you were dead wrong. It got worse.

You felt your body heat up uncomfortably as your senses began to get more heightened - your breathing is now labored, your clothes felt unbelievably scratchy against your skin, and you felt that oh so familiar sinful tingling in between your legs. Panicked, you glanced around the library, seeing if there’s anyone nearby. You clenched your legs shut almost painfully, trying to steady your erratic breathing and heartbeat.

“Alright, self. Calm down. As long as nobody sees you like this--”

You were snapped out of your inner monologue with an oh-so-familiar posh-toned voice jolting you back into reality.

“Thought I might find you here. About that assignment...”

You inwardly screamed in sheer horror and embarrassment, cursing the bad luck that had befallen your poor self. Ominis sat right beside you, blissfully unaware of your current predicament. You couldn’t even comprehend what the male was saying to you: you were gripping your skirt tightly and biting your lower lips all in a great effort to suppress anything that might be a dead giveaway to your situation. Ominis, however, was a lot more astute than you expected. His eyebrows furrowed, immediately sensing that something was up.

“Why are you holding your breath?”

Fuck.

“O-oh. Uh... I-I was? W-well I-”

“What’s going on with you?” Ominis asked rather harshly. You gulped, trying your best to keep the last bits of sanity in your brain intact. According to your nether regions, Ominis sounded absolutely ravishing when he talks like that, and the remaining rationality within your mind refuses to accept that depraved notion. 

You almost moaned out loud when he touched your forehead with the back of his hand. He, however, wasn’t looking too amused with how unusual you were acting. Ominis frowned, looking rather offended for getting him caught up in this awkward situation. He got up, getting ready to leave.

“W-wait!” you cried out, tugging at the sleeve of his robes while looking at him with pleading eyes. “P-please help me...”

Ominis quirked an eyebrow, a faint smirk gracing his lips at your begging tone. He turned back towards you, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Oh? And why should I do that?” he sneered.

“Please I... I think I might’ve ingested an a-ah...!” 

“A what?”

“...Aphrodisiac...” you breathed out, shameful tears welling up in your eyes.

Ominis was mortified, a dark shade of pink flushing his usually pale complexion. He cleared his throat while loosening up his necktie in an attempt to diffuse his bashfulness. An aphrodisiac problem was certainly the last thing he would’ve expected from you.

“So you want me to help you... Because you might’ve ingested an aphrodisiac?” he asked, still finding the situation beyond belief.

You sobbed in response, nodding furiously. You felt so utterly humiliated that you were actually on the verge of wailing on the spot. You couldn’t think straight, you were a mess down there, and you were trying your absolute best to get the situation in control. You didn’t want to go to the hospital wing, nor were you even planning to tell Garreth or Natsai about this unfortunate side effect. Your common room wasn’t an option too because it’s a shared dormitory and the Ravenclaw tower was simply too far. Hell, this was one of the worst situations you could ever find yourself in, and there was absolutely no way Ominis would agree to this madness. 

Honestly, you just wanted to stay in a more secluded place to wait for the effects to die out. However, you had no idea where to go and you were desperate enough to ask even Ominis himself.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when he stood up and leaned towards you, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look up at his misty blue eyes while his other hand rested on the table surface behind you to support his weight.

“Are you sure you want me to do it?” he breathed. You blushed at the question, your sobs slowly quieting down as you drank the sight of him under the cold moonlight peering from the arched windows.

He was so frustratingly beautiful. So fucking ethereal.

“... Y-yes,” you gulped shakily. “P-please.”

Wait. Do what? What’s fucking happening? What the fuck did I agree on?!

He hummed in response, seemingly satisfied with your answer. 

“Hmm. Perhaps you do want to snog me after all,” he murmured before planting his lips against yours. Your eyelids fluttered shut as you instantly melted into the softness of his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck. He lifted you from your seat, making you sit on the table. However, the both of you were interrupted by the sound of heels clacking on the wooden floor. You and Ominis quickly got up, hiding behind one of the nearby bookcases.

Madam Scribner came up to the table, frowning. She grabbed the now haphazardly-placed reference books from the table, tutting about how irresponsible students are with handling books before walking off. 

You and Ominis remained still, listening intently at Madam Scribner’s now dying footsteps. As soon as the exit door was opened and then shut close, Ominis captured your lips once again, pushing you towards the nearest table. The both of you were frantically scrambling, attempting to remove each other’s cloaks while remaining in a passionate lip lock. You sat on the table as soon as you felt the edge of the table top hit the back of your thigh, spreading your legs apart to pull Ominis much closer to you. 

For some odd reason, having Ominis Gaunt right in between your legs felt so fucking right. Your head spun with lustful desire, taking in his addicting scent: a faint combination of patchouli, sandalwood and spearmint candy. He gave one of your breasts a firm squeeze while his tongue intruded your mouth, to which you gladly received by lightly suckling on the wet appendage, earning a groan from him. Ominis ground his hips against yours instinctively, brushing his now visible erection against your still clothed privates. 

His lips then began trailing down from your lips to your jawline, latching itself on a sensitive spot at the crook of your neck. You mewled, teasingly trailing your feet along the back of his legs, finally locking your legs around his hips to further push himself harder against your heated core. His hands harshly gripped your ankles in response, your inner thighs quivering in anticipation as he deftly unclasped your Mary Janes. You kicked them off rather impatiently, slightly raising your hips up as Ominis reached underneath your skirt for the waistband of both your tights and knickers, slowly peeling the article of clothing off your legs.

“Bend over for me,” he growled against your ear, to which you happily complied as you leaned over the table while lifting your skirt up. You shuddered both in delight and relief as the cool air hit the skin of your warm lower regions. Ominis traced a finger on your exposed slit, groaning as globs of your honey-like essence coated his digit. 

“Merlin, you’re fucking soaked...” he moaned, inserting his finger inside your hole, earning a breathy gasp from you as your legs trembled in wanton delight. You felt your juices trickle down your legs as Ominis added another finger inside your core, pumping his digits in and out of you at an increasing speed. You whimpered, slapping your hand over your mouth at the brutality of his fingers. With how sensitive your body was, it wouldn’t take long until you had your sweet release. 

Much to your disappointment, Ominis retracted his fingers away from your heat, licking your juices off his fingers. He groaned at your sweet taste while you sobbed in frustration, swaying your rear as your legs trembled at the lack of stimulation. Ominis swiftly unbuttoned his pants, tugging on the waistband of his briefs to free his painfully erect shaft. You let out a surprised whimper upon feeling the blunt head of the thick appendage stroke itself against your weeping slit, lubricating itself before it dove right into your awaiting pussy with little to no resistance. Your back arched instinctively at the sudden intrusion as you gasped blissfully in sheer unadulterated pleasure.

“A-ah..! F-fuck yes! Mmph..!” you cried out. Ominis slapped a hand against your mouth while the other pinned one of your wrists against your lower back as he plowed his cock inside your pussy.  

“Best to keep it down, don’t you think? Wouldn’t want us to get caught now, do you?” he panted, thrusting deep and fast as you mindlessly moaned with absolutely no shame against his hand. He was right - there were enchanted portraits nearby, wandering ghosts, and prefects right outside the library after all. The thought of someone walking in at any minute made your walls clench, which doesn’t go unnoticed by the alabaster-skinned male as he relished in the spasms and flutters of your inner walls, his cock twitching in pleasure.

“Oh, you are absolutely vile!” he chuckled darkly, slowing himself down momentarily yet still thrusting as deep as he could. You swore your knees almost gave out as the tip of his cock kissed your cervix. 

“You’re quite the filthy little whore, aren’t you? It’s almost as if you want to get caught,” he mocked as your knees shook. You sobbed pathetically with pleasure-filled tears running down your face. He yanked your upper body closer to his, letting his hands wander shamelessly on your curves while peppering the column of your neck with bites and kisses. You blissfully sighed, intoxicated with all the sensations happening on your body all at once. Your bleary eyes widened as his cock brushed against a spot within your weeping hole, your mouth hanging ajar in a loud gasp which caused Ominis to smirk against your neck. He slammed your body back on the table, your breasts flat against the table surface as he aimed for the spot precisely with swift, merciless strokes.

Ominis was absolutely delirious as he listened to the debauched symphony of your helplessly submissive little yelps and moans, wet skin slapping against each other, the sound of the table rocking against the hardwood floors, his own erratic breathing and occasional groans whenever he felt your walls flutter around his swollen member. This was now his new guilty pleasure: reducing his normally put-together, top-achieving, goody-two-shoes of a classmate into nothing but a slut who’s hungry for only his cock. Something about that mere thought completely disintegrates his last remaining shred of principles and rationality in the moment as he mindlessly chased his high, sinful fantasies filling his presently depraved, pussy-drunk mind.

“F-fuck! I... I’m cumming! I’m cumming-!” you babbled as your walls clenched unbelievably tight around his cock, causing Ominis to hiss in pleasure as he pulled out of your quivering hole, pumping his member desperately as spurts of milky white semen landed on your labia. The both of you stilled for a moment, breathless and completely fucked-out.

Ominis quickly tucked his now softening member back into his pants and tidied himself up while you shakily got up from the poor table. You groaned, feeling a slight pain in between your legs as you conjured a clean cloth with your wand, wiping away any stray bodily fluids from your lower regions before vanishing the object away. Ominis leaned against the opposite bookshelf as you put your panties and tights back on, crossing his arms. You glanced at him as you sat on the table, clasping your shoes back on. He was still as pristine as ever, as if your recent activities had never even happened.

“Prefects should be gone by now. Will you be alright going back to your common room alone?” he asked. 

“I think so,” you replied, grimacing slightly at the dull throb of your worn-out hole. Ominis hummed, walking towards the staircase leading to the library exit with his wand up, the tip blinking its signature red light.

“Oh, and Gaunt?” 

“Yes?”

“Nothing happened here, alright?”

chapter 2: what a mess! 🔞 >

[ateez-himari]

NEW K-DRAMA: WHERE WE FALL

Warning: Talks of survivor's guilt, and reference to dark thoughts

[Sunshine Duo taking on Heart Wrenching Roles]

On September 29 a new Korean drama series made its way onto the big screens starring two idols from K-Pop group ATEEZ, main dancer Jeong Yunho and lead vocalist Min Himari.

When nineteen year old Aerin (Min Himari) finds herself as the sole survivor of a mysterious house fire that claimed her twin brother's (Lee Do Hyun) life due to a late practice that had kept her from going home, she can't help but to feel as though she should have died with him, as though she should have saved him. Despite countless therapists reaching out after the tragedy it seemed as though nothing or no one could pull her through this case of survivor's guilt nor help dissipate the visions of her brother appearing in her daily life all the way into insomnia inducing nightmares. Once a bright presence she begins turning to seclusion and unhealthy activities to distract herself from the overwhelming grief, much to her best friend Jae-Won's (Jeong Yunho) despair. The more he reaches out to her, the angrier Aerin begins to get with him and the further she pushes him away, her actions growing in recklessness by the day. But Jae-Won refuses to give up on her. Will he manage to save her...or will she drag him down with her when she finally falls off the deep end ?

The bandmates appeared in the magazine 'Singles Korea' in order to promote the series where they later met with an interviewer who talked with them about their experience. When asked about the difficulty of portraying a character with such a dark and complex story, Himari said "I was really nervous at first because I wasn't sure if I could convey such a complex mental health struggle so I monitored every scene very closely to make sure I had every detail down."

Much like the maknae, Yunho shared similar feelings of nervosity regarding his role by stating "Even though it wasn't my first acting project, the concept was much darker than Imitation's so I found it to be a really intimidating role. The longer filming went on though, the easier it became to sink myself into the story and my character."

(Spoiler ahead)

The pair agreed that one of the most memorable scenes was the last argument in which Aerin steps onto her apartment's balcony ledge only to be stopped by a horrified Jae-Won, leading the girl to finally break down in front of her best friend after a few moments of protest. In their opinion the key point in this part of the drama is the embrace they share, Jae-Won's hands running down Aerin's body in order to comfort her whilst she clings on to him for dear life, pulling herself as close as possible to the man who had so desperately fought to save her. "Even after the director yelled 'cut', Hima(ri) was still holding on to me and crying, that's how emotional the scene was" said Yunho. "I found this very...draining in a way because I found many similarities between our experiences so the story took me over completely. At the end I had no idea why I was crying, I just couldn't stop." Himari added.

Something that a lot of fans are most likely wondering about whilst watching the series is how everything was filmed despite their tour's grueling schedule, not to mention side activities. According to both actors this project had been in the works for quite a while now so they had filmed majority of it prior to their schedules, what little was left being filmed on days off. Himari's view on it is "Even though it was a tiring project at times I feel like it was worth every moment because it was an amazing experience. I'm also very proud of what we created and I hope the fans will enjoy it too." To this, Yunho agreed and continued with "I'm glad we got to see it through to the end and am really thankful to be given an opportunity to take on a more challenging role. I personally can't get tired of the story no matter how many times I had read and monitored it."

Finally it was noted that they also had quite the romantic tension throughout the series, one that even ended with the two of them sharing a kiss amidst their tears. The strong on screen chemistry was explained by Himari "It was slightly awkward at first to be close in such an intimate manner but I feel comfortable with him (Yunho) and we're very close in real life so we managed to work through it." They both recalled being flustered whilst reading the script and having to film this scene more than any others as they kept shying away or laughing. Yunho said "Having her on my lap was already very...strange but then when production said we had to kiss we couldn't seem to keep our composure."

Overall the hard work and emotions put into this series by its actors is sure to capture viewers' hearts to bring them into a rollercoaster of emotions. Stream 'Where We Fall' on Netflix.

[i-am-baechu]

Summary: Everything was perfect until it wasn’t. Y/N and Jungkook love each other but when familiar and new faces come into their lives, things get complicated. On top of that, a surprise that truly shakes their plans for the future. Will their relationship push forward or will Jungkook lose his fangirl once and for all?

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Chapter fourteen: Bright Future?

→ Genre: Idol au, established relationships, girl group stan au, social media au, K-pop fan page au, romance, angst, comedy, and smut

→ Main pairing: Idol! Jungkook x Fan girl! Reader 

→ Side ships: Yoongi x OC & Jin x OC

→ Warnings: Explicit language, smut, mature themes, alcohol usage, anxiety disorder, stalking, and obsessive behavior

⇜ Masterlist ⇝

Authors note: Y/N's trauma

Jungkook was nervous. Y/N never wants to talk unless it's serious. The last time she said she wanted to talk, the discussion was about her mental health and what needed to be done to get her better. That was over a year ago and the conversation is still in his thoughts. Her saying she wants to talk has to be serious. He leaned back on the couch causing Yoongi to turn in his chair, “You okay?” 

“Y/N said she wanted to talk about something.” 

Yoongi frowned at this and tilted his head, “Did you do something?” 

“No...why do you guys always think I did something wrong? You know Y/N can do something bad too.” 

Yoongi raised his eyebrow at this and nodded his head slowly, “Sure. Do you have any idea why she wants to talk though?”

“I honestly have no idea...we don’t fight and I did everything she wanted me to do this morning. She wants to talk tomorrow though...that makes me even more nervous because I have to wait.” 

“It’s Y/N, you guys don’t fight and you haven’t done anything wrong. Don’t worry about anything.” 

Jungkook sighed and nodded his head. He glanced at the screen and smiled, “We should just finish your track so I can see my wife.” 

Yoongi rolled his eyes and turned around, “Disgusting. Let’s finish this.” 

“You're just jealous.”

Y/N got up from her couch when she heard a knock at the door and this walk to the door felt like miles to her. She opened the door to see Mae holding a bag and a comforting smile, “Hey there girly.” 

“Hi, Mae...what's in the bag?” 

Mae opened the bag and pulled out a cheesecake, “I thought since we were going through something emotional we deserve some sweets.” 

Y/N gave a small smile and nodded head, “That does sound good...Bam is sleeping so, it's just us tonight.” 

“Oh, a girls’ night~. Let’s go.” 

Y/N let Mae come in and She brought her in a tight hug when the door closed. The best friends hugged for what seemed like hours. When they pulled away, Y/N kissed her forehead, “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you...it means a lot. I’m happy for you too, no matter what the result is.” 

The smile that should be on her face didn’t show up and the only thing she did was a small nod at her. They went into the living room and Y/N put on a random youtube drama video as they sat on the black couch. She felt like she wasn’t grounded and everything was pulling her in different directions. She had work drama and now she had personal life drama. She didn’t want to call it a drama but at the same time, she didn’t know what to call it. It was terrifying to her.

She felt a soft touch on her knee and she looked at Mae who was looking at her with a concerned look, “Y/N, it's going to be okay. Do you want to talk about it?”

She nodded her head and sighed, “I wanted to get my stomach checked because...don’t tell Jungkook but I’ve been throwing up more lately. It felt like my stomach was dissolving away in my body and it was the worst feeling I have ever had. At the last doctor appointment I went to, they asked me to do a pregnancy test. I explained that my main doctor back in the States told me that it was going to be hard for me to get pregnant but I agreed to do so. I told them...I told them I take some medication and they told me to stop taking that after this test.” 

“Why?”

“Because in a week or two, they want me to take another test to see if it's the same result...” 

Mae nodded her head at this and rubbed Y/N’s knee gently, “You’ll get to find out the truth...No worries.” 

“I am worried, Mae...”

“Hey let’s watch something and eat cheesecake right now. We’ll think about it tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay...” 

Jungkook opened the front door with a yawn leaving his body. He saw the tv in the living room and raised his eyebrow. Y/N is usually sleeping in their bedroom at this time. He took his boots and put on his slippers to investigate. He saw Y/N sleeping and Mae nibbling on a frozen cheesecake? He glared at Mae and crossed his arms, “What the hell are you doing?”

Mae jumped and caught her cake, “Dude, what the fuck? I almost dropped my fucking cake.” 

“That’s beside the point, it's three in the morning. Shouldn’t you be at home?”

“Y/N needed me.”

Jungkook's face turned worried and glanced at her, “Is she okay?” 

“She will be...just talk to her tomorrow. Be gentle with her, okay.” 

“I’m always-”

“Jungkook. Please.” 

He saw the serious look on Mae’s face and he felt his heart get heavy, “Mae, you don’t need to worry. Do you want me to drive you home?” 

“No, I drove here so it's fine. I already told Yoongi that I was with Y/N.”

He nodded his head and walked up to Y/N with a gentle smile on his face. He gently picked her up and his heart melted when she nuzzled into his side. He looked up at Mae and gave her a small smile, “You can sleep here and leave in the morning if you want.”

“No, I want to see Yoongi. I’m going to finish my cheesecake first before I leave.”

“Yeahhhh...you do that.” 

He walked into their bedroom and gently put her on her side. He studied her face and smiled to himself. She looked beautiful and she didn’t even have to try. He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, pushing hair behind her ear. He changed out of his clothes into his shorts and lay next to Y/N. He wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed the side of her head, “I love you, Y/N. Always will.” 

1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47

Y/N woke and stretched her body. She sat up in her bed and looked around with tired eyes. It registered that she was in her bedroom and she looked to her side to see Jungkook sleeping soundly. She smiled to herself and kissed the side of his head. She let out a sigh and decided to take a shower before she talked to Jungkook. Maybe light a candle as she showers to set the mood for her. The warm water and the smell of apples filled the bathroom as she stared at the wall with a blank face. This was scary for her. So many thoughts in her little mind, it feels like it was going to explode at any moment. 

When she walked back into the bedroom and saw Jungkook scrolling away on his phone, “Hey, Kook.”

Jungkook looked up from his phone and tossed his phone on the bed, “Hey baby. How are you feeling?”

“I-I...I’m not sure.” 

“Babe...be honest with me.”

She sighed and glazed down at the carpet, “Let me get dressed, and then we can talk...”

“I’ll make breakfast, I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Silence. They sat at the table in complete silence as Jungkook made her a plate. He looked at her with concerned eyes because she was staring at the wood with a blank expression. He let out a small cough causing her to look at him, “I just made some pancakes and bacon...is that okay?”

“It’s fine...”

“Do you want to talk first or eat?” 

She sighed and looked at him with a frown, “I can’t eat but you need to eat.”

“Y/N, I can’t eat when you're not feeling good. Let’s talk first then, okay?”

“Okay...You know I went to the doctor.”

“I do.”

She closed her eyes for a second and looked at him with a look that he had never seen before, “Kook, I might be pregnant.” 

Shock hit his body but then pure happiness went through his body, “You're pregnant!? That’s great...right?”

She sighed and bit her lip, “I...You tell me? Is that good? We have so much going on in our life right now and a baby would just make things more complicated.”

“I mean, having a baby isn’t the craziest thing. I want to have a baby with you.”

“I’m talking about right now though. I want a baby with you too but right now?” 

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, “I mean it's bad timing but I think we would do good.”

“You would do good.”

“Y/N, is this what you want to talk about?”

“How can you have so much confidence in our parenting skills?”

Jungkook glanced at Bam and then back at her, “We’re doing good with Bam.”

“Kook, be serious. This is a human child with our DNA mixed together. Eighteen years of responsibility...” 

“Why do you think we won’t be good at it?” 

She looked away with her eyes watery and then back at him, “Because I couldn’t even raise myself so why in the hell do I think I can raise another person.” 

Jungkook sat there in shock and closed his mouth. The one thing that he doesn’t know about Y/N is childhood. No one knows about it, not even Mae. He was always curious about it but he never wanted her to share it if she wasn’t comfortable but to move to the next step, it looks like it's going to get talked about. 

“Babe, you can talk to me. Tell me what's going on, please.” 

“Okay....My dad isn’t my real dad, he’s my stepdad.” 

Jungkook's eyes widened at this and nodded his head, “Is that a bad thing?” 

“He’s the greatest thing that happened to my mom. My dad...he wasn’t good. I remember when I was a kid and I walked in to see my dad yelling at my mom. It was the scariest moment in my childhood. He was throwing beer bottles at her and my mom was just so scared against the wall. He left when I was eight I think...I don’t really remember. I came home from school and all his things were gone from our house. My mom was devastated.”

“That’s understandable.” 

“It is...but she realized that she had to take care of me. She had to take on three or four jobs just to keep us going. She didn’t have time to raise me...meeting my stepdad was the best thing that happened to her and her having Suzy made her a better person. How can I raise a baby if I couldn’t even do that by myself?” 

Jungkook stood up from his chair and pushed the hair back to kiss her forehead, “Baby, that was then and this is now. You're an amazing woman, look what you did for me. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. You changed bts lives forever babe.” 

“It’s not confirmed that I’m pregnant. My medication can cause a false pregnancy so...they’re going to have me take a test now and then wait for one or two weeks to take another to see the results.” 

“Is this the cause of your stomach issues?” 

“I have no idea...if it’s negative then there’s something wrong. I guess.”

Jungkook kissed the top of her head, “No matter what happens, it will be okay. We will get through this together, okay.”

She wiped the tear that was collecting in her eye and nodded her head, “We’ll get through this together?”

“Yes, no matter what babe. I love you.”

“I love you more...”  

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Tag List:

@agustdpeach @mdavt @aloverga @drissteele

[spopsalt]

C//A fans: S5 Catra is SO much better as she progresses with her mental, emotional state and hoping that being close with Adora again is NOT a nightmare but a dream come true for them both in loving each other back! // But then (as i have said many times) Catra changes in S5, and is almost 100% redeemed (in my eyes) // this picture:

literally the anti C//A and me: what change ? the short hair and the clothes ? the girl have never changed only the look. This is so ooc, C*tr* would never felt sad for her action if she was actually feel bad then she would stop from the start or accept to be on jail or killed.

literally me: girl i hug my friends all the time, that doesn't mean i hear their heartbeat for comfort, why sexualise two " friends " or enemies for do that, haven't you seen two friends hugging ??

literally friend, i can't with C//A fand, literally act like child and it annoys me a lot how Adora the protagonist it's hated and underrate and C*tr* the abuser/gaslighter and Adora's sister gets love and overrated, like shouldn't we hate C*tr* intead of Adora ? i mean i know what it feels like to be second best because i feel like that when i'm school with my best friend but not for that i'm gonna do all that stuff C*tr* did. Also C*tr* has never talked to Adora about her feelings so how Adora was suppose to know what C*tr* feels ??!! well friend here are the question: do you hate how spop and C//A stans always love C*tr* and hate Adora ?? and what do you think about those guys always sexualise them even they are enemies or friends ?( i'm reffering to that what do you think about spop/ C//A stans always romantizing every C//A even it's about friendship, enemies fight or Adora being torture/gaslighted/manipulated/etc )

DONT HARASS ANYONE IN THESE POSTS

Thanks for the ask! Yeah Catradora stand will nitpick anything, Catra will look guilty a few times and that means it's ok! Who cares if she almost destroyed the world to spite her sister? And saying she listens to Adora's heartbeat....what? It was a normal hugging position what?!

[lucy4242564]

We ✨love✨ explicit content, so please take this truck fuck as my token of explicitness

.cowboy like me.

Chapter 3.

Pining and desperately waiting.

~Our secret moments in a crowded room, They got no idea about me and you~

She couldn’t stop herself from sneaking glances whenever she could. Especially when she noticed him doing the exact same thing. It almost bugged her.

He wasn’t even being smooth with it. She could feel his gaze and there was a burning desire to talk to him. The only thing stopping her was her stubbornness.

To say a headache was all she felt the next morning was an understatement. She had never been so mortified in her life.

 

Her cheeks burned as she recalled the pervious nights events. She shuddered while she washed the dirt off her knees, thinking of letting him carry her to her bed. It almost slipped her mind that Brittany was probably home and waiting to interrogate her. There was no way to avoid it so she might as well get that over with.

 

Getting up from the bed, Lilah started towards the living room. Sure enough, there Brittany sat. Crossed-legged on the red couch, coffee mug in one hand and a television remote in the other. A grin was plastered on her face as she looked at her friend in the hallway.

 

“I’m not gonna lie, out of all the guys there, I wasn’t expecting Daryl to be the one you liked.” She teased.

 

“Girl,” Lilah started, making her way over to the couch. “I am never going to leave this apartment again.” Recalling all of the previous night’s events, the duo exchanged stories of everything going through their heads in the past 24 hours, neither leaving out any details.

 

“I don’t know what has me more shocked,” Brittany said as their conversation began to die down, “you offering several times to show him your boobs, or him turning you down.”

 

Lilah’s cheeks were on fire. “I feel so bad! He probably thinks I’m crazy.”

 

“He told you show them to him when you’re sober! You have to see him again!”

 

“Absolutely not.” The blonde shook her rapidly. “I will go out of my way to not see him again.”

 

Brittany rolled her eyes. She knew her best friend’s internal struggles, but also knew that when she relaxed she treated herself better. “Lyle.” Brittany began. “You’re here to enjoy summer and get more comfortable with things before college.” She reasoned.

 

“I know!” A groan filled the room. “I can still do that without throwing myself at random men.”

 

“I’m not saying that.” Brittany defended. “I’m just saying, whenever you let yourself do things without overthinking it all, good things happen.”

 

“B, this is all new to me okay?” Lilah sighed.

 

“Look, just try to give yourself freedom. Try to let yourself do things without thinking on it so hard.” It was what she needed for just a little while.

 

 

A week and a half had passed since their conversation and Lilah had taken her friend’s advice. She stepped out of her comfort zone and she hated how right Brittany was. Just exploring things independently had improved her mental state.

 

That didn’t mean she wasn’t still being hauled almost anywhere Brittany went. How else would she have ended up back at the very creek she made her first impulsive decision? Fortunately for her, it was a lot more casual this time. Paul wanted to have a small fire after he got off work and that’s exactly what was happening.

 

The two girls had been running behind, but when Lilah saw the blue truck that she was all too familiar with, she wished they hadn’t come at all. Brushing aside her embarrassment, she did exactly what she said she’d do. Avoided Daryl Dixon.

 

Kind of.

 

She couldn’t help herself but sneak glances whenever she could. Especially when she noticed him doing the exact same thing. It almost bugged her. He wasn’t even being smooth with it. She could feel his gaze and there was a burning desire to talk to him. The only thing stopping her was her stubbornness.

 

  

“D’ya’ll grab the hamburger meat?” Lilah heard Paul ask.

 

Nope.

 

Lilah stood listening to the couple argue about whether or not he’d even said anything about hamburger meat. She wasn’t too focused on their conversation though. Because for the past hour she’d given in to her thoughts and quite obviously started eye-fucking the man she swore off.

 

At this point it was almost a game. They both knew exactly what the other was doing. Even catching each other a few times.

 

Lilah tried her best to keep her emotions in check, longing for the time to pass by so she could go home and take care of the growing wetness between her legs. She wanted desperately to pretend like she didn’t know why her body was reacting the way that it was and that she wanted nothing more than for it to stop. Then she’d steal another look at him and become enamored.

 

She yearned to know exactly what he was thinking when he devoured her body with his eyes. The temptation of approaching him just hadn’t boiled enough yet.

 

Lilah needed an excuse.

 

“I’ll go grab some, I need more smokes.”

 

There it was.

 

Lilah enthusiastically shot up and prayed nobody had noticed the pep in her step. “I can come. I ran out of face wash last night and can just get it now.” She lied. It was kind of a pathetic one too.

 

Daryl eyed her in suspicion.

 

“Shouldn’t have to, because I didn’t forget.” Brittany responded, emphasizing the point that she didn’t forget anything.

 

Paul just rolled his eyes and nodded a thanks in the other man’s direction.

 

For the first time tonight, Lilah felt awkward. The last time she followed Daryl to his truck it was in a drunken haze. This time- well she actually didn’t have a game plan.

 

Just doing what feels right.

 

Even though this was exactly what she wanted to do, there were still butterflies in the bottom of her stomach when she slid into the passenger side. Nervousness always got the best of her. Now she was in a still of silence as the truck drove down the dirt road.

 

She wanted to ask him what he was thinking. To know whether she was reading his eyes wrong. She knew she wasn’t, but what if she was?

 

Maybe she was alone in wandering how she would feel on top of him. Only in her mind had his lips grazed her neck and if she kept her mouth shut it could stay that way. Her thoughts of him could remain unscathed if she didn’t test the waters.

 

Taking a chance, her eyes drifted over to him and traced up his body. His left hand was steering while his right remained on the gear shift. It was embarrassing how hot she thought he looked like that. It could have just been how turned on she was though. Internally shaking her head she focused on the road and wondered how long she’d actually been lost in thought. They were already in a familiar spot and she knew it took about 15 minutes to get there.

 

She was really losing it.

 

 

Daryl had split off on his own when they got to the store, telling her to just ‘meet him at the truck’. So she wandered down the cosmetic aisle and grabbed an extra face wash. She couldn’t exactly come out empty handed.

 

The thought of being questioned made her blush. It would reveal that she truly had no real reason to be there, which would only raise more questions. She wished she could turn her internal monologue off sometimes. It caused her more issues than favors

 

A quick swipe of a credit card and she was waiting back at the truck. She wasn’t sure why she expected Daryl to beat her here, she was only getting one thing after all. Standing alone in a new town, leaning against an almost strangers truck, had her wondering what she was even doing.

 

Lilah looked to the sky and all of her thoughts paused.

 

It was littered with twinkling stars. A rare occasion where she came from; Her night sky was blocked with city lights. “What you lookin’ at girl?” The thick accent of the man who Lilah had been infatuated with all night asked. She looked over and found him staring at the sky with squinted eyes. The sight made her smile.

 

“The stars.”

 

He turned his attention to her face but she was gazing back to the stars. “They ain’t goin’ no where.” He said before setting the grocery bags in the ice chest in the back of his truck.

 

She scoffed before getting into the passenger seat. It didn’t go unnoticed by him though.

 

Without the night sky distracting her, she began drifting into her thoughts again. What was she doing? She wondered to herself, thinking back on her own thoughts earlier. She’d come all the way out here for absolutely no reason. Just to look at Daryl Dixon up close. It was pathetic. Lilah told herself back at the creek she was going to talk to him, but that fear of rejection gnawed in the back of her mind. Then again, she’d practically given him every opportunity to turn her advances down and he never did.

 

Eyeing him, a little more obviously now, she admired how relaxed he seemed. Even when he was so clearly taking her clothes off with his eyes, he looked so unbothered. Like he had the answers to all of his problems. It wasn’t like she was hiding how much she’d been doing the same to him though. He didn’t have a problem to solve.

 

Neither did she.

 

When the realization hit her, things made more sense. She wasn’t the only one fixating on someone’s body. She was just the only one worried about it.

 

She was always the only one worried about everything.

 

Lilah felt her heartbeat increase when the truck hit a dirt road and she decided to take a leap. “Hey,” she started, her heart pounding, “can you pull over just really quick?” He looked at her in confusion. “Please.” She added.

 

“We’re almost back-“

 

“Please.” She said again, cutting him off. If she waited too long she’d just chicken out.

 

He didn’t say anything, but he pulled to the side of the road, hardly taking his eyes off of her. Her eyes darted around the area, anxiety beginning to get the best of her. She pushed it down though.

 

Not everything had to be overthought.

 

Thickly swallowing her nerves, she angled her body to face him and began taking her shirt off. By the time she had it off she saw a reaction she hadn’t seen on his face before.

 

Shock?

 

She ignored it.

 

“What’re you doin’?” It was his turn to glance around their surroundings.

 

“You told me to ask again when I was sober.” Her hands were already reaching behind to unclasp her bra. “I’m sober.”

 

His lips parted when her chest was exposed and now he was looking everywhere but below her shoulders.“You ain’t gotta-“ he looked for words.

 

“I don’t have to, but I want to.” She said finally making eye contact with his. “But I’ll stop taking my clothes off if you ask me to.” She searched orbs of blue, looking for any sign of hesitation before she started shimming off her shorts.

 

“Yer crazy.” He said, but his hands began undoing his pants.

 

A smirk played on her lips.

 

 

There weren’t words in Lilah’s vocabulary to describe Daryl’s lips on her collarbone. They were everything but harsh, still she was convinced he was leaving marks with how much time he’d spent there.

 

She was too distracted by how good her center felt grinding down on him to care. It was everything and so much more than she imagined, being on top of him. She played with the bottom of his shirt but he lightly swatted her hands away before placing his hands below her shoulders and leaning her back. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but the way he looked at her right now, comfort was far from her mind.

 

Lilah’s forehead hovered below the windshield, her middle back partially pressed against the glovebox and Daryl’s hands, her entire body nearly on display for him.

 

An embarrassing gasp came from her mouth when lips attached to her bare nipple and fingers pried at the other one. Her body was responding beyond her control, hips grinding harder onto his searching for some kind of relief. Relief she’d wanted all night long. The absence of heat on them, her nipples almost hurt when lips began trailing as far down Lilah’s body as they could go in their current position.

 

“Daryl.” She sighed out, hoping he’d realize how needy she becoming.

 

He continued to suck lightly on skin as he made his way back up her body until he got to her lips. That’s when he noticed how glazed over her blue eyes were, before attaching his lips to hers almost in desperation. Her fingers danced along his shoulders and down his arms.

 

Fuck. His arms.

 

They weren’t exactly muscular, but they were defined. Defined enough for her to appreciate them in their own light. She lingered there, squeezing his biceps before he let out a sweet laugh into her mouth.

 

The moment had caused them pull back and look at each other again. Light blue finding dark blue.

 

Lilah had been so entranced by him that she hadn’t paid much attention to his hand moving between the small space of their bodies, but her back arched into him when his fingers swiped her panties to the side.

 

“So fuckin’ wet.” He murmured, mouth finding her jawline. They dwindled around her folds, never venturing further. Teasing her.

 

She whined.

 

The more she would seek out friction, the more he’d tease by sliding his finger along her slit but never giving her full satisfaction. She craved everything he was denying her.

 

His mouth found her nipple again and she let out a moan mixed with a sigh. She ducked her head into the crook of his neck, darting her tongue out to encircle the sensitive area. He sucked in a moan at the same time Lilah let another one out.

 

The fingers that had been teasing her entrance finally broke through and her hips immediately rocked into the feeling. After longing for a sense of relief for hours, she’d finally gotten a taste of some. His hand worked her, arousal coating his fingers and soaking through his boxers. She rode his fingers while ecstasy built higher in her lower stomach. 

 

“Daryl,” Lilah gasped, pleasure taking over. As much as she tried moving her hips some more, Daryl nearly stilled her motions. Her head shot back up when she realized he was slowing his own movements. When their eyes met again, there was an almost primal look in his. A whine escaped her lips when he removed his hand from underneath her.

 

“Yer so damn needy.”

 

Something warm touched the lower part of her stomach and when she glanced down to find him stroking himself, she nearly came undone.

 

“Will you just fuck me already?” Lilah blurted.

 

That was all it took for her hips to be quickly lifted and impaled onto his cock. She cried out as she felt her walls squeeze around his length, adjusting to the abrupt intrusion. 

 

Even though she had been on top of him, she’d all but surrendered into his control. Thrusting up into her at a pace she was almost bouncing on him by no choice of her own. She wasn’t complaining though.

 

“So damn needy.” He said again, this time punctuating each word with a sharp thrust, causing her head to fall into his neck again.

 

It hadn’t been there long before he’d shrugged her off, grabbing her by the chin and forcing eye contact.

 

“Thought ya what’n’t that big of a whore?” He mocked her.

 

If she wasn’t being fucked beyond her own thoughts, she had the mind to actually argue with him. Instead she just gave him a dazy smile before retorting, “You’re talking a lot right now for someone that doesn’t have much to say.” She mocked back.

 

A sly smirk appeared on his lips while he kept thrusting into her. “The way you’re acting, don’t seem to bother you none.”

 

Lilah wanted to laugh so bad right now, but she was chasing a high and she was so close. “Doesn’t bother me even when you aren’t fucking me.” She nearly cried out. He was so deep inside her. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever felt that full before.

 

“That right?” How the hell was he talking so casually right now?

 

“It’s the accent.”

 

There it was. The torrid nerves that he’d been pounding against relentlessly were almost bursting.

 

His pace quickened brutally after that. Each time she was lifted, his hips were meeting him halfway. Her walls squeezed around him and she heard a low growl somewhere between the time she saw stars and the time she felt a sticky warmth between their bodies.

 

They stayed like that for a few moments.

 

Both catching their breath and recalling the last several minutes of their lives. She felt a hand that was previously on her hip begin to trace up her back, causing her to shiver. When it came to a halt on the side of her neck, she tilted her head to look at the man underneath her.

 

His blue eyes glossed over made them look even more like an ocean than they already did. Waves crashing into his pupils like rocks.

 

“You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen.” She didn’t mean to say it out loud, but she did. She did and she found comfort in his after-sex high of a smile. This may have been the calmest she’d felt in a long time, that still didn’t stop her mind from running wild. “And I’m not that big of a whore.” Lilah mentioned with a slight arch to her eyebrows.

 

“Nah, yer too jumpy.” He commented. She hesitated to respond, confused by his words. “Whores don’t think themselves ta death.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked. He’d reached his hand out to open the glovebox and pulled out a pack of cigarettes with just one left in the box before digging in his pockets that sat next to them for a lighter.

 

“Ya been ogling me from the time ya walked up earlier,” he paused to light his cigarette. “Ya made a lousy excuse ta ride with me, sat there the whole time not sayin’ nothin’, and when I catch ya relaxed lookin’ at the stars ya went right back to silence.” Daryl took a drag and offered it to Lilah. She shook her head in response, so he continued. “The other night y’as a lot more talkative and didn’t have no problem lettin’ me know how ya felt.” another drag. “I’as almost convinced ya really was just a drunk girl that night til ya asked me ta pull over. Ya had somethin’a say, just didn’t count on you gettin’ naked.” Lilah swallowed hardly. She couldn’t have been that easy to read. “And now yer thinkin’ too hard about it.” He added, noticing her focus changing.

 

“I’m not that obvious.” She bit out.

 

It confused her. Why was she mad? All he’d done was tell her almost exactly what was going on in her mind.

 

“Ain’t personal.” Daryl noticed the change. “Takes one ta know one.”

 

Her face softened. He was comforting her she realized. It was an unnecessary kindness that she appreciated.

 

“They probably think we’re dead.” Lilah smiled as she scooted off his lap.

Chapter 4.

[thebetawolfgirl]

Bonding Time pt8

Pairing: Timmy x Reader

Warnings: Mother finds out. SMUT!!!

A/N: Enjoy!

Bonding Time pt8

After an amazing week with just the two of them Timmy and y/n were heading home in the car. Y/n was listening to her voicemails and reading her text messages from the past week she had missed because she and Timmy had both turned their phones off, y/n listened to the voicemail from her mother left her the day after she left telling her to call her right away. Five more followed stating she needed to talk to her that she had just spoken to Sarah and her friend had told her something she didn’t quite believe and wanted y/n to set her straight.

‘I think my mother knows.’ She turned to Timmy as he drove the car he took a quick glance at her frowning before concentrating on the road again. ‘My dad blurted it out didn’t he?’

‘No, she said she spoke to Sarah.’

Timmy gripped the steering wheel tightly until his knuckles turned white and gritted his teeth. ‘Fucking bitch!’ He muttered under his breath.

Y/n lays her hand on his shoulder comforting him as best she can as they reach the city.

‘We will figure something out baby.’

She assured him gently and his grip on the wheel loosened slightly.

‘We need to deal with her. She can’t keep interfering like this.’

Y/n nodded and put her phone back in her bag and changed the subject so as not to get him even more frustrated.

Timmy was thinking what he was going to do about Stacey, she was still texting him all the time and he still hadn’t called her yet. He knew he didn’t want to be with her anymore since he realised he loved y/n, but if he was being honest he had lost any interest in Stacey a while ago.

They arrived at y/n’s apartment and Timmy helped her in with her luggage before heading to his own apartment to unpack his own things.

The time alone let y/n contact her mother and have that awkward talk with her. She still couldn’t care less about what her mother would think of her relationship with her step brother, and she would find out eventually but she was just pissed off that she found out from Sarah.

Who y/n knew was so jealous it was actually bordering on sad and pathetic. She dialled her mother’s number and waited before she heard her mother pick up.

‘Y/n is that you? Where have you been? Why haven’t you answered any of my calls?’

‘Sorry mom I turned my phone off while I was away.’

‘Well, what is this thing Sarah was telling me about? You and Timothée are together? Like, she saw you two kissing in the street?’

‘Yes mom, Timmy and I are together. I’m sorry you had to find out from a mentally unstable woman like Sarah. But, she wasn’t happy when she found out about us.’

Her mother sighed into the mouthpiece of her phone listening.

‘Well I must admit I’m not thrilled at this, but I can hardly stop you two from continuing.’

‘We love each other mom.’

There was a pause ‘Really?’

‘Yes and we wouldn’t stop seeing each other even if you and Greg disowned us.’

‘Yes I already know your step father’s outlook on this revelation. Sarah wasn’t too pleased with either of our reactions when she told us.’

‘How do you mean?’ Y/n asked as Timmy walked through the door.

‘Well, when she told us about you and Timothée I didn’t really give any response. Well at least not the response she was expecting. I just simply told her you were both adults and you certainly weren’t going to listen to me if I were to tell you to stop doing what you were doing. She wasn’t happy.’

Y/n smirked as Timmy wrapped his arms around her waist before sitting down pulling her to sit on his lap.

‘Timmy just walked in mom.’

‘Hi Elaine, sorry you had to find out this way.’

‘Oh don’t worry, and don’t worry about your father. He seemed to come round when Sarah showed up at the house uninvited. She always was a very…..’

‘Rude?’ Y/n finished.

‘Yeah.’ Elaine replied exasperated.

‘And always inviting herself to occasions she WASNT invited too.’

Y/n chuckled as Timmy rolled his eyes shaking his head.

‘So you’re okay with this? About us?’ Y/n asked.

‘Of course. It’s not like you’re related to each other. So it’s hardly illegal!’

Y/n smiled and leaned back against Timmy as he kissed and nipped her shoulder.

‘Thanks mom.’

‘Anytime sweetie, now I have to go because Greg just stepped out of the pool and I find myself very hungry.’

‘No! For Christ sake Elaine! That’s my father!’

Y/n giggled at the look of disgust on Timmy’s face before laughing outright.

She cut the call quickly as y/n continued laughing before Timmy bit down on her neck lifting his hips against her ass. She turned and smacked his chest hard but he only grabbed her by the throat like old times and pushed her back against the sofa cushions pinning her down and began kissing down her neck. She grabbed his wrist trying to wrench his hand from her throat when he grabbed the collar of her shirt and ripped it open causing her to gasp as the buttons scattered everywhere, she groaned as he groped her breasts through her bra.

She ground her hips against his growing bulge in his jeans and smirked hearing him stifle a groan, and ground harder rocking her hips against his getting the groan she wanted out of him.

‘You-‘

‘Bitch?’ She finished for him smirking.

He glared and shoved her face down on the sofa roughly and pulled up the skirt she was wearing ripping her panties off completely while undoing his jeans and pulling both them and his boxers down and rammed his dick into her hard and smirked hearing her muffled scream of surprise.

He grabbed a fistful of her long hair turning her face to the side and began rutting into her roughly forcing her body forward against the arm rest of the sofa.

He pulled her up on her knees, her back flush against his chest and whispered in her ear ‘Still chuckling little girl?’

She gasped out as he tugged her head back and shook her head ‘No’

He wrapped his arm around her waist stripping her of her shirt and bra while kissing her neck and thrusting into her from behind,

She moved her arm and wrapped it around his neck and turned her head to capture his lips and a rough kiss that he returned.

She ground her hips back against his as he continued to rut into her making him grunt against her mouth nipping her bottom lip and moved harder against her gripping her hips and digging his fingers into her skin where she knew he would leave bruises, they broke the kiss and he pushed her down and leaned over to kiss down her back kissing and biting her shoulders as he thrust harder going deeper into her as she dug her nails into the arm of the sofa when they came together panting heavily damp from sweat. He lay on top of her as they caught their breathes, and he moved his head against her skin and kissed over back and licked the sweat dripping down her spine making her gasp and turn over letting him kiss and nip her chest before reaching her neck and burying his face against her skin as she pushed his long damp hair from his face and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulling the fur throw off the back of the couch covering them with it.

Their clothes lay discarded on the floor, y/n couldn’t even remember when he tore her skirt off to get better access to her body, or his T-shirt or when he fully removed his jeans and boxers. She couldn’t remember anything but the feel of him inside her going deeper than he had ever gone.

He nuzzled her neck getting comfortable and she could feel his eyelashes flutter shit against her skin and moved to kiss his temple as they fell asleep.

Everyone that was important knew about them now. Y/n would ignore Sarah and her unhealthy obsession and her judgement, for now.

Emma would get over it. Timmy still had to deal with Stacey but y/n wasn’t too worried about that.

They had each other now, that’s all they needed.

@sufferingstarlight

@gatoenlaciudad

@kteezy997

@lixzey

@tchalamss

[dr-abitat-blog]

Day 16: "You always make everything worse!" (Alt. prompt)

@ailesswhumptober

T/W: Mental health, couple argument, hurt/attempted comfort, heated emotions, verbal abuse

Lyall and Faline once again belong to the beautiful and talented @whumpsmith. This is essentially a direct sequel to her AWESOME Day 10 prompt (pushing away a loved one) so do check if you can! :D Also Lyall x Achilles (Lachilles) for the win~

“Lyall?”

I wait anxiously outside the door to his hospital room, rapping out a faint tune on the door to get his attention. He’ll probably just ignore it if he’s in one of his moods — and given the state Faline was in when she came running out of his room, I’m pretty sure we might be in for a storm. Seriously, I’ve never seen her look like that before. Those tears running down her cheeks, shaking her head and trying so hard to pretend she was fine. That’s our homegirl — but after pressing her several times, she finally broke down to me and told me exactly what he’d said.

“You’re kidding. Lyall—Lyall would never say that! I mean, I guess he can be a bit of a jerk at times but he can’t help it—”

“N-no, Al,” she’d murmured, unsuccessfully forcing the wavers out of her voice, “This was different. Trust me, something’s definitely wrong. He won’t see that he needs help — y-you need to talk to him!”

I can still hear her ever so faintly from over here, unable to hold back her hurt sobs. He’s had a full ten minutes to calm down. That’s plenty of time.

Or it should be.

About half a minute goes by with no response. Gritting my teeth, I knock again, louder this time.

“Lyall, I know you’re in there. I just want to talk. Come on, open the door. Please?”

…nope. Nothing. The door still doesn’t open. Naturally, my frustration starts to increase as I pound my fist against it. “March Hare, open this door, or I swear I’ll—”

My threat is cut off by the creaking of the door. I barely wait before pushing it open. Standing on the other side is my boyfriend, Lyall Lapin — or March Hare, as his sidekick name goes. His powers are super impressive — pun totally not intended — allowing him to make earthquakes and manipulate earth. Definitely more impressive than my own healing flashy light-show of essence, but we are making progress to—

“What?”

The thought instantly cuts off as I notice the expression on his face — glaring.

Oh crap. He does not look happy.

“Hey, uh, thanks for opening up,” I start casually, biting my tongue to keep from asking immediately about his ‘visit’ with Faline. “I just wanted to check up on you, that’s all. See if you were okay—”

“I’m fine.”

He gives his arm — the one not all bandaged up in a plaster cast — a dismissive wave. I can’t help but let my eyes narrow into a suspicious squint.

“No, you’re not ‘fine’ — and that’s okay. You’ve been through a—”

“Well what do you think?” he snaps, “I’ve broken my arm, my best friend probably hates me right now and even though I was the one who saved everyone back there from Hatter and the jabberwocky I’m the one being treated like the bad guy!”

I stay quiet, allowing him to vent his feelings. It’s a lot to process — and yeah, I am maybe a little biased on my boyfriend’s side, but I can’t ignore the fact that he did endanger himself — and the rest of us. He directly disobeyed Cap’s orders and went on ahead to try and save us, including me, from Hatter. The other sidekicks managed to find and help him, but apparently the whole time he was rude and abusive to all of them, including my brother. That’s…not like my Lyall. Something is going on.

And I’m not leaving until I find out what it is.

“...I know,” I agree quietly, “It sucks, dude. It really sucks.”

“I know, right?! They should all be thanking me! If I hadn’t been there then none of them would have stood a chance — I’m the best hero there is on the force and they know it!”

“Yeah, yeah you are,” I respond, “You were brave tonight. You saved us — you saved me. You were definitely determined — even if what you did was a little reckless but—”

“Oh don’t you start too.”

He rolls his eyes with a small scowl that doesn’t belong on his face. “I thought you were on my side!”

“I am!” I insist, holding up my hands, “But that also means looking out for you—”

“I don’t need anyone to look out for me — including you.”

He grits his teeth, his cheeks flushing in anger. “I’m not fucking fragile.”

“I didn’t say you were! I was just saying—”

“Well don’t.”

Our eyes lock. My own green irises widen as his brown ones stare into mine. I almost shudder from the cold fury being sent my way. “You always have to do it, don’t you, Achilles? Butting in, poking your nose into my business, treating me like I’m made of glass, being so overprotective all the time!”

Over…protective?

“I just don’t want you to get hurt! And I’m worried about you! We all are! You’re not acting like yourself right—”

“I’m perfectly clear, thanks!” he snaps, “I don’t need anyone telling me how I ‘should’ behave, like I’m expected to be smiling and happy twenty-four-seven! And that includes you and your overprotectiveness!”

“Lyall, I don’t mean to—”

“Well you do — you always do! It’s not ‘cute’ or ‘romantic’ — it’s degrading and it makes me sick. I’ve told you so many times how I feel about that, but you still don’t listen to me! Do you have that little faith in me?!”

He’s yelling now — properly yelling. Each word is like a knife twisting at my heart. The truth is painful. I am overprotective — and we have talked about it before, but I just can’t let go of the fear of losing him, o-or something happening or—

“And before you go off being so high and mighty, let’s not forget that I was the one who saved you. You were the one that got yourself kidnapped by Hatter! That wouldn’t have happened if it had been me!” 

My stomach aches as if I’ve taken a punch to it. I notice him clenching his fists, staring at me down his nose. Like he’s…superior. Like I’m nothing compared to him. “So stop getting in my way and telling me what to do and what not to do because I’m sick to fucking death of it!” 

My feet remain frozen in place. I feel the colour leaving my freckled face as he continues shouting at me. A weird mix of feelings runs through my head. Guilt. Helplessness…anger.

“You want me to apologise? Fine. I’m sorry that I can’t let go of that image of you almost dead on a hospital bed last year whilst I screamed your name a dozen times,” I snap, “and I’m sorry that whenever we face danger my biggest fear is always losing the people who mean the most to me — which includes you!”

I grit my teeth tightly. Warning prickles spread through my hands. 

No, stay down. Breathe. Easy. Breathe—

“Oh look, you’re at it again!”

I stare at him.

“At what?”

“Throwing around your excuses again!” he hisses, “You can’t use past trauma as a get-out-of-jail-free card every time you screw up, Achilles!”

The anger slowly fades from my eyes.

Screw up…

“You…you think I’m a screw up?” I ask, the conviction leaving my voice slightly.

“Lately, yes!” he responds fiercely, “You think you’re being ‘heroic’ or ‘romantic’ and making things better but you’re not! You always make everything worse!” 

Everything…worse…

For a moment, time seems to stand still. It’s just the two of us standing there, except I don’t know who I am. Standing across from him, frozen, mouth gaping slightly. No words come out. Something hot stings at my eyes. I feel like I’m going to be physically sick. Heat rushes to my face as he clenches his teeth, continuing to glare at me. Right now, this second, his expression is almost like...hatred.

“You always make everything worse.”

The echoes of Lyall’s voice are joined by another horribly familiar one — his voice.

No, n-no—

“It’s your fault, A.9.R. You did this.”

The tears start to slip free. I hiss as the prickles start scorching my hands. My fingers tremble. I can’t steady my breathing—

“You did this.”

That’s the last straw. I don’t even remember leaving his room, or the expression on his face. All I’m aware of are the tears seeping down my cheeks, the pain rippling through me and the burning release of the essence as I let it go. Multiple things get displaced in the bathroom, but I don’t care. I just drop to my knees over the toilet bowl, heaving and sobbing for god knows how long until Faline and Ash finally find me. Without a word, they hug me. I try to pull away, but in the end I just sink into their arms, muffling my sobs in my brother’s shirt. Eventually, Faline speaks up, rubbing my back.

“Achilles…wh-what did he say to you?”

“H-he said…a lot of things,” I answer slowly, “and that I…a-always make everything worse…”

“H-he said that? Lyall said that — to you?”

I don’t know why my brother seems so surprised. Apparently Lyall was yelling at him too during the rescue mission. I can’t confirm it with words, only my head. Ash just tightens his hold on me. “D-don’t listen to him. He’s just…overwhelmed right now. He said some heated things in the moment, I’m sure with some space he’ll—”

“I-I’m not so sure about that, Ash.”

Faline gently shakes her head, a troubled look in her eyes. “All I know is…th-this isn’t our Lyall.”

No. It’s not.

I draw in a shaky breath, blinking back further tears. 

And I don’t know if we’re ever getting him back…