#and my best friend got us tickets like 10 years later

[fingertipsmp3]

I’ve just discovered something absolutely fucking crazy and now I’m experiencing emotions previously known only to shrimp

[7vsjr]

GOOD GIRL

summary; joao was your best friend for many years. but somewhere along the lines, you both fell in love. after joao saw you flirt with two of his teammates, he made sure they knew you were his.

pairing; bsf!joao x fem!reader

content; SMUT. jealously, fingering, dirty talk, mason and Christian being a flirt, unprotected sex, dry humping, teasing, public sex, very slight fluff at the end, aftercare, degrading, praising

warning; I DIDNT PROOF READ IT IM SORRYYY

a/n; HII THIS IS MY FIRST STORYY SO PLEASE BARE WITH ME. AND ALSOO REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

“hey anjo, got you season tickets for chelsea!” he smiled. “joao really?” you squealed in excitement. he nodded. holy shit! “thank you, thank you!!” you screamed at him and hugged him. nothing could describe how he felt when you hugged him. it was like bliss and happiness, met lust and neediness.

3 days later

joao had gotten season tickets for you, but more specifically sideline seats. “hi!!” you ran up to him. he was with all his teammates, but you wanted to talk to him. “hey anjo” he smiled and hugged you. before you could say anything, all of joaos fellow teammates walked over to you.

“oi mate when were you gonna introduce us to a pretty girl like her,” mason said, you started blushing. it was noticeable enough for joao to clench his jaws and fist. “thank you mason” you smiled sweetly.

maybe it was just you being nice, but something about the way you smiled around them made joao want to punch the smug smirks of their faces.

“yeah i was gonna but-“ joao tried talking but christian cut him off. “so whats your name sweetheart?” he asked you. “its y/n” you smiled and grazed his shoulder with your fingers. “uhm we should probably leave, right y/n?” joao asked you. “mate dont ruin all the fun” mason smiled at you. “no its ok mason, i should go” you kissed both mason and christian on the cheek. “goodbye! it was so nice to meet you both” you smiled and waved.

“joao wait up!” you yelled after him as you watched him speed walk past you. you saw him run into the locker room and you instinctively ran after him. “hey whats wrong?” you asked. “its nothing” he mumbled back rubbing the corner of his eyes. “joao, tell me. you can tell me anything.” you smiled softly and rubbed his thigh.

“shit..” he groaned. oh fuck, did he just moan? quickly joao bit his lip, praying you didnt hear him. “joao, do you like it when i touch you?” you asked him slowly running your hands onto his upper thigh. “baby stop teasing” he said and looked you straight in the eye. you giggled softly and grazed your hand over his cock.

he hissed loudly and thrust his hips up to feel your hand. “patience” you said. but joao couldnt wait. after 10 years of waiting, he couldn’t anymore. he grabbed your body and pulled him onto you. “i cant wait anymore baby” he moaned and smashes his lips onto your. you moaned loudly at the feeling of his soft, plump lips. you slowly starting grinding on him and moaning became a regular noise.

“louder baby, mason and christian need to know your mine. they need to know how good i can fuck you.” he moaned and threw his head back. you almost didnt want to follow his command, but you couldn’t help it when he started to suck on your neck. "fuck joao" you moaned out while you tugged at his hair softly. "you like when i do that your little whore?" he grinned and nipped at your neck in the same spot until it was purple and bruised.

while joao was sucking at your neck and leaving purple marks everywhere, you failed to notice the speed you were grinding on him increasing. "shit your so big" you moaned out as you felt his cock rock hard underneath you. "you can take it, cant you? be my little good girl and take it." he said as he lifted you of his lap. he laid you down on the bench and removed his clothes. while he did so, you started to undress yourself.

while doing so, you began to wonder just how big he was. you wondered what he would feel like inside of you. you didn't even realize your body taking over your brain. you started playing with your clit and thought about what he would do to you. joao sat there patiently, he couldn't complain though. because the fact you were entirely naked, touching yourself, and moaning his name was enough to make him cum. but he didn't want to, he wanted to save it all for you. his good girl.

once joao realized you were approaching your orgasm, he quickly pulled out your fingers replacing them with his cock. giving little to no time to adjust, he rammed into you. the feeling of pain was quickly replaced with pleasure. every time he thrust his hips into yours, you swore a new tear fell. joao was easily the biggest you had been with.

you bit down on your lip so hard you could almost taste blood. you covered your mouth with your hand to muffle your moans, but both you and joao knew you were too loud. "baby, louder. everyone needs to know your my slut" he said and wrapped his hand around your neck, slowly and carefully he increased pressure until you were clenching around him. "you dirty whore, like it when i choke you yeah?" he smirked and lifted your legs over his shoulders. with a position change, joao quickly hit deeper then he had ever before.

your moans were nothing short of pornographic, at first they were quiet and controlled. but now, you couldn't help yourself. no matter how hard you bit your lip, or how much you covered your mouth.

at this point, you couldnt even recall how many tears had fallen from your eyes. "fuck I'm close" you moaned out a new word with every thrust. "don't let go, baby, wait for me" he said as he threw his head back and kneaded your breasts. you couldn't help but leave scratches all over his back. he winced slightly at the pain, but you felt too good to stop because it hurt.

"please joao" you begged him as you arched your back, once again allowing him to reach deeper. "let go for me, baby. cum all over my cock" he said as he himself let go. you instantly found your high and let go. you both were extremely breathless.

"you think they heard?" you asked him. "i hope so, now they know only i can fuck you like that, no matter how hard they try." he kissed your cheek and got up to get a towel from the shower. "here let me clean you up," he said referring to the tears, sweat, and cum all over your body. "thank you" you smiled and got up slowly. "i love you joao" you said.

"i love you too, my good girl"

a/n; something about joaos thighs make me want to *** *** **** *** **** am i right?

[gvenevera]

Kuroshitsuji Musical ~ 寄宿学校の秘密 (Secrets of the Boarding School) 2024 ~ VERA’S REVIEW!

Yes you read that right! I’ve had the most fateful chance to watch the very first performance of the newest Kuromyu in Hyogo last Saturday, so I figured I’ll eternalize some of my best memories here.

Before we begin: the LIVE STREAMING is available for the LAST PERFORMANCE, September 29th 2024, HERE! For only 3800 yen, you’ll get to watch it live at home, or watch it later for up to 1 week (October 6th)! Apparently you need a Japanese VPN though, if anyone knows how to navigate the site, please do share.

A few disclaimers from me:

*Anti-shippers DNI. This post barely has any shipping content at all but I don’t like people who harass others over fictional preferences. I’m a shipper, I can’t help being biased for my OTPs.

**Since photos were prohibited in the venue, I’ve included stage pictures featured in official news websites or accounts.

***This is by no means a critical review but merely a fangirl’s ramblings, and I often drew comparisons to the original stage play Kuroshitsuji Musical: Secrets of the Boarding School (2021). For reference, I suggest you watch it first! I intentionally avoided rewatching the 2021 version close to the airing date though, so my memories may not be accurate. Also my Japanese is mediocre so I apologize if there were important dialogues I didn’t catch.

Introduction

I know, sorry for the dilly-dally intro. But I’d like to first stress that ever since I started following Kuroshitsuji in my first year of university (like 9 years ago now lmao), I’ve ALWAYS dreamed to watch the stage musical live in person. When 2024’s performance was announced immediately after the last episode of the anime, I was overjoyed to see that our old cast was coming back.

And it was fate that gave me the opportunity - my scheduled work program this year was set to be in Kyoto AND during September! Needless to say, I had the Kuromyu ticket bought and reserved first, before my confirmation with the Kyoto office or my visa and plane ticket. Priorities, right?

Quick remark on the ticket process: I hit a snag right in the beginning because the ticket reservation website Eplus required a Japanese phone number to sign up. I contacted multiple people (middle school friend whose brother used to work in Japan, another who was quarter-Japanese, several dealer websites with high rate exchanges), until I settled on my roommate’s friend from high school who was currently working there. Many thanks to her and my roommate for the help!

She took care of registration for me - even so the advance sales was a LOTTERY ticket! We fortunately got the lucky draw - I saw many Japanese fans on X who were not so lucky, while others bought in bulk to sell later. Then, I used the online barcode to exchange for a paper ticket when I arrived in Japan on September 1st. That’s when I get to know my seat number - 3rd floor, 2nd row B. A very far position from the stage, but it’s alright because we’re here for the atmosphere anyway!

The performances for the first 2 days were set in Hyogo Performing Arts Center, KOBELCO grand hall. I’ve honestly never been to any kind of music performance (or even concerts) in my life, so I was blown away by the sheer size of the venue.

By 10 AM, the audience was trickling in. I was in awe of the fact that you can tell who was coming in to watch kuromyu - beautiful women dressed in black-and-white tones, many even sporting gothic lolita bows and dresses to keep up with the Victorian England theme. In fact, it felt like the whole of Ikebukuro were gathered here in this very building!

We were ushered into the hall entrance at 11 AM and let me tell you, the crowd was suffocating! In front of the theater, there was a goods section for Kuromyu merch. I’m so glad I took the time to queue up because it seems some of the merch were starting to sell out by the second day. The booth clerk looked perplex to see a non-Japanese customer here though. Here’s how the line looked like, and this was still early before most of the audiences got in:

(We’re not supposed to take any photos but I saw the warning signs too late…Here’s a view from where I was sitting on the third floor.)

I realized then as we were settling in that some ladies around me had binoculars!! Well how was I supposed to know you could bring those here, instead of trying to find those fancy opera glasses!?! Ah well, I was lucky that I’d recently had my prescription glasses updated and the seat to my left was vacant, so I could lean in to see the center better.

The Performance

While it is true that you can barely see the actors’ faces from the balcony seats, it was the grandness of the performance itself that blew me away. For the first time I could see the stage in all its entirety, all the actors dancing in synchronization, and the special effects…oh it had improved A LOT from 3 years prior!

The stage sets for Weston may look a tad “crowded” in the still photo, as compared to the original where they used white backgrounds but in reality, it blended in so prettily with the flashing stage lights. The middle section was a rotating floor and one of my memorable scenes was where Ciel and Sebastian were discussing their plans while crossing the rotating stage, to give the illusion of “strolling across the school grounds.” Sounds like a simple trick but if looked amazing from above.

On to the story itself - the execution actually barely changed from the 2021 rendition, which for me, was a relief! Now I know, some would argue a rerun should add in different elements, because who would want to see the same thing twice right? From past experiences with Kuromyu, the reruns tend to be hit or miss - different actors, different song remixes, voice changes, and so on. For this performance, I could barely tell that the cast (apart from Ciel, Sebastian and Undertaker) were all new members. Everyone got into character flawlessly!

The story of course followed the entirety of the Public School Arc. The script and choreography was almost identical to the 2021 stage musical version. If you would remember, this Kuroshitsuji arc was the first to be portrayed on stage before the anime adaptation - same as previously, they seemed to take inspiration from the manga only rather than the anime.

Some key moments from the play:

The opening sequence was again a recap of the previous arcs - Jack the Ripper (Lycoris that Blazed the Earth), Book of Circus (Noah’s Ark Circus), Book of the Atlantic (Tango on the Campania). I’ve always loved this part because you could tell they slipped in iconic themes from the past musicals.

Perfect Black: the main theme, and my favorite from this stage! I’m so happy to have heard it live! *swoons* Thank god they didn’t do anything weird to remix it. The whole cast dancing together was beautiful! However I thought 2021 did it better with the dramatic light focus on Sebastian during the chorus drop.

Ciel’s Earl of Phantomhive outfit was changed from the glittery blue suit to a blue-green checkered coat this year. (I’d have bought his Earl photoshoot set if I knew it beforehand) Yana-sensei later tweeted that she was the one to re-design it, to better match Eito. Then Eito Konishi himself replied, saying he was honored to play as Ciel Phantomhive, to which Yana-sensei praised his singing and called him “Eito-bocchan” …boy was he fanboying hard over that. He’s one of us!!

Arrival at Weston: I don’t have a comment on the P4 in particular, they were all straightforward from the manga. I think I like Redmond’s character the most here, he looked very pretty with the side-ponytail and while he was a show-off still, he wasn’t as annoying or arrogant as I somehow expected.

A notable interaction: Violet forcing Greenhill to pose for him at the swan gazebo. Greenhill’s actor really looked strained trying to keep an upside down bridge pose (Edward was supporting his back, but kept getting distracted). When he broke the pose and got up, Violet hit him over the head with his sketchbook so hard that the thump echoed through the hall.

As for the Prefect’s Fags: Edward and Cheslock were giving off some suspiciously gay rivals-to-lovers vibes over here. Which I kinda vibed with, I hope they kept the energy into the Blue Cult Arc!

One important thing: they kept the ALL the Fag lines! Which in Japanese accent also kinda sounded like them repeatedly calling each other “Fućk”. Oh how I wish the anime had kept those!

Soma Asman Kadar: now this guy deserves an ovation just for himself. Not only did he kill the role, he was also the funniest! Soma’s song was greatly improved and lengthened with catchier music and dancing - when his troupe “arrived” at Weston, he even dragged Ciel and Clayton to join in. I can’t do it justice, you have GOT to see those two English gentlemen crack the Indian dance moves! His pestering of Maurice Cole was hilarious and he kept exasperating Ciel out of his character, their chemistry was wonderful. I really didn’t expect to get hooked by Soma in this arc out of all people! Too bad Agni wasn’t here.

Maurice Cole’s miniarc - Flawless. Sometimes I wonder if he was an easy character to play just because his character trait is so extremely over-the-top lol.

The library kabedon scene and sebaciel burning Purple House scene didn’t exist. Another scene cut off from the last musical was where Clayton and the Blue House kids were congratulating Ciel on his fag duties and Sebastian took the chance to blend in with them. Sadly that was one of my favorite adlibs.

Ciel’s dream sequence: this was originally in the 2021 musical. After a talk with Macmillain made him revisit his past trauma, Ciel “dreamed” of the cultists, and Sebastian’s close call with Undertaker in BotA. I actually forgot about this part when I watched it in theater - the highlight was sebaciel reenacting the scene in BotA where they reached for each other, the enactment surprisingly gave me the impression of Ciel’s “worry” over Sebastian’s “vulnerability” here. Unlike the 2021 version though, Undertaker didn’t pull Ciel into a bridal carry or referenced the R!Ciel wake-up scene as clearly.

The second half after the break was the long-awaited Cricket Match. Like the previous version, there was no scene of Ciel jumping into Master Michaelis’ arms, but I think they just couldn’t fit that one into the sequence. The cricket songs were mostly the same as the original - with an improvement being them cutting out Red House’s random beauty pageant contest. It actually felt like the cricket match went by faster this time, which was a win in my book. I’ve heard people complain of Kuromyu 2021 being a “Prince of Cricket” musical, hence the bad reviews back then.

The laxative meat pie scene was hilarious. From Sebastian faking it as a student complete with Red House’s uniform, to the team’s diarrhea horrors. Redmond stole the show again, as he was going to help Harcourt in the middle of the field, but tragedy struck which made him deadpan: “Oh. Someone get Harcourt.” Then immediately left the stage lol. The Blue House kids lifted Harcourt out.

The Green vs Purple house battle was the same as last time. I always felt bad to see Cheslock being the only Purple kid doing his best because without any support member cast while Violet was sitting in the grass. But this time, he gave Cheslock a tree sculpture of his bust as a good-job reward! Good for them.

Lastly Green vs Blue. They incorporated the rotating stage again in the last batting when Greenhill accidentally hit Ciel. The end of the match cut straight to the Thames Boat Ride, then they did the Blue House cheering scene after. Sebastian finally got to do his signature bridal carry, awww.

Midnight tea party: the setting was even more beautiful than last time. Undertaker letting his hair fall from his hat was iconic as usual. I was impressed with Master Agares’ fight scenes because his actor looked quite older than his 2021 predecessor. I always liked how they did Derrick Arden’s death in the musical, it felt more anguished from the P4 POV while in the anime, it just felt like a gruesome horror scene.

Final musical number was Ciel-Sebastian-Undertaker chorus during their fight in the garden. Music and choreography seemed to be similar, EXCEPT they somehow changed the iconic “Your life is my priority” scene!!! 2021’s version had me hold my breath as Sebastian had his arm possessively hooked around Ciel and took off his glove with his teeth (seriously, you have to see it yourself). This time they had Sebastian and Ciel reenact the scene on the highest stage instead of front and center, and I didn’t feel as much suspense nor was there any glove-removal from what I could see. It was also a weird placement because they were so far away, and Undertaker should’ve been the one on the top as he did his goodbye pose holding the moon.

We end the story with Sebastian recapping the aftermath with Weston’s students, and finally sebaciel’s conversation back at the manor. Again, Ciel reiterates that Sebastian is the only one who could never lie nor betray his trust. Perfect Black came on as an outro, and I got chills when Sebastian ended the last verse on a raised note!

The curtain call was the experience I’d waited for. Somehow I only realized just then that the actors would do the full call during their finale performance, which was what we got to see in the recordings! That day, after the cast bowed twice, the exit announcement immediately came on but guess what? The audience, including myself, kept clapping all the way through the announcement, it went for so long that the cast actually came out to take another bow! As they returned on stage, most of us also stood up for a standing ovation - according to twitter this doesn’t seem to be a regular occurrence outside of the finale. It felt like a truly wholesome “welcome back” for the troupe and for Kuromyu, especially after the rather harsh criticisms from the previous stage (due to major cast and style changes, even I took a while to bring myself to watch it) and the long break due to the COVID years.

Overall summary

Kuroshitsuji Musical 2024 was a faithful rerun of its predecessor. They succeeded with the musical numbers, new cast, overall adaptation of the story. The settings, props and special effects were wonderfully upgraded. The original cast carried the show: Eito Konishi’s singing felt greatly improved and I thought he carried himself as more mature than his last performance as Ciel. Sebastian’s Toshiki Tateishi had a mesmerizing voice the more I listened to him, he never went out of breath even while dancing or fighting - truly vocals fit for the troupe leader. Kandai Ueda did well as his own Undertaker too, even with Undertaker’s peculiar accent.

My few complaints: I felt like the P4 cast (bar Redmond) could do to have more distinction in their tones and movements. It felt hard to distinguish who was talking at times. The performance seemed to have a faster pacing this time around, and you get less absorbed in certain conversations between the characters, so I wished they’d added in slow scenes here and there. And of course I miss the signature sebaciel moments that I’ve mentioned - granted, this manga arc had always been my least favored because of the lack of sebaciel interactions anyway! So I’d say they did the best with the source material.

While I enjoyed seeing my favorite production performed live with the music blasting through my eardrums, it was the atmosphere that truly made the experience for me. Sitting in the 4-storeys grand hall full of some 2000 Kuroshitsuji fans really pulled me back in time, especially during the standing ovation. I’m so happy to see my favorite series so loved after all these years. I’m sure Yana-sensei could feel it too.

I wish a successful performance for the cast going forward to Tokyo, and hopeful for many more musicals to come!

[dinsdjrn]

gone, from austin | j. miller | part two

brothers best friend!pre-outbreak!joel x f!reader

summary: Joel Miller: the one that got away; right person, wrong time. Now you’re back in Austin and it hurts just as bad, as if you’d never left five years ago. [w.c. 2.4k]

warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, no use of y/n, light angst, Sarah is alive and well, f!reader, smoking, depression, brief mentions of a mental breakdown, implied cheating (not joel), ex-lovers to lovers, eventual smut, slow burn, lmk if i missed anything <3

💌 a/n: FINALLY a part two? who am i?? anyways not sure how i feel about this story... but i know how i want it to end so ill keep going for that. lmk your thoughts <3

previous part | next part | masterlist

Part two | May 2002

You were a work of art, that’s the hardest part.

It had been three weeks since you had gotten home. You had become more than a bit of a hermit, looking and applying for jobs. You made yourself sparse in the house, you understood everything your brother did was an open invitation to you, but it was easier to disappear. It also gave you time to process, when you left Toronto it was a whirlwind, but now it was a dulling ache. Friends had reached out, wondering where you went, if you were okay. You gave them enough information so they wouldn’t worry, but not enough to come looking for you.

It was Friday morning, just like any other morning, you were searching through medical journals and websites looking for job postings. Search, apply, wait, and wait some more. It wasn’t very thrilling, but it was something to do to keep your head above water.

The alarm on your phone had begun ringing, 10 am, you reached into your desk drawer and took your meds. They filled a hole in your head you hadn’t known was there until you had a small breakdown two years ago. It was something only a few people in your life knew about, it wasn’t something you ever really wanted out there. There was almost a shamefulness to it, no one in Austin knew, and then one person in Toronto who knew about it was no longer welcome in your life. So you move on, continue as you have and hope that your ticket out comes sooner rather than later. 

A soft knock came at your door. 

“Come in!” You said, closing the desk drawer quickly. 

“Hey! Someone is at the door for you,” Kelsey popped her head in and smiled. 

You looked down at your Dell Med School t-shirt and Roots sweatpants and laughed lightly. 

“Is it anyone important?” You asked embarrassed gesturing to your pajama centered clothing choices. 

“I am sure they won’t even notice.”

You sighed and stood up, you lightly stretched and made your way downstairs. Just as the entryway came into view there was Sarah and Joel, Sarah with her backpack on and Joel shifting uncomfortably looking at the floor. 

“Hey guys,” you said, smiling at them. 

“Hey!” Sarah smiled. 

“What’s up? Shouldn’t you be at school already?” You questioned. 

“I had a dentist appointment this morning. We just came back to the house to grab my bag, but I wanted to see if you were around tonight,” She swayed, clearly hoping you’d say yes.

“I’m uh-, not sure,” You looked at Joel for guidance but he wasn’t paying any attention to you his sole focus was on Sarah. 

“I just really wanted to have that sleepover you promised! My dad is going out tonight and suggested it would be a good time for us to hang out and -“

“But only if you are available and want to,” Joel interrupted.

“Oh, yeah! That sounds like it could be fun. Why don’t I come over around 5ish and we can order some pizza?” You smiled at her. 

It would be much more comfortable without Joel there, you had felt like you were walking on eggshells when he would pop over to have a beer with Jake or help Kelsey fix things around the house. 

Joel nodded. 

“Alright baby girl, time to get you to school,” he began shuffling Sarah out the door. 

“See you tonight!” Sarah called over her shoulder. 

You waved at her in response and when the door clicked closed you pinched the bridge of your nose. 

“You know, she really did miss having you around,” Kels leaned against the doorway behind you. 

“I know,” You sighed, “I just don’t know what I’m getting myself into.”

“What do you mean? You’ve known her since she was just a little kid. You’re not getting yourself into anything except maybe forgiving yourself for hurting her.” Kelsey said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“You don’t fucking get it! This isn’t a permanent solution. I can’t stay, I don’t belong here anymore! I don’t want to get her hopes up that I might by hanging out with her and letting things go back to the way they were. That will just hurt her again.” You snapped, a pang of annoyance in your chest.

“You being here and ignoring her, it hurts them both. You can talk a big game about how you don’t belong here, but this is your home, your family. I don’t know what happened between you and Joel, but it is clear he still cares about you. Is staying really the worst thing? At least thinking about it?” 

“They are not my family, you and Jake absolutely are. And you’re right, maybe this was home once, but it’s not anymore. All that’s left is a permanent scar of what could have been. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” You turned to walk up the stairs. 

Kelsey came and put her hand over yours on the railing. 

“Look I’m sorry if I overstepped. I only want to see you happy,” Her voice was soft and apologetic. 

You just nodded in response and made your way back up the stairs, once in your room you made your way to the bed and cried into your pillow. You knew the love for Austin was there, it had always been there, but so was the hurt. The pain would always be there too, it painted your soul in blues and grays. That’s the hardest part, how beautifully life painted your anguish here. 

The day came and went quickly, and you felt unprepared for your sleepover with Sarah. You knew it would be nice to hang out, do face masks and watch a few movies, but your anxiety was palpable. You were worried it would feel like grasping at a life you could’ve had, but were strictly denied. 

You made your way next door around five and before you could even knock the door had swung open and Sarah was pulling you inside. 

“You’re here! Finally, I’ve been thinking about what we could do tonight all day. Dad said he would call a few pizzas in, we went to CVS after school too! I got nail polish, face masks, and some weird snacks,” Sarah spoke excitedly. 

It gave you a bit of whiplash, barely able to even get in a few “Alrights” or “Sounds Fun”’s in. 

“Woah, woah, Sarah slow down,” Joel said as you made your way into their living room. 

He was sitting on the couch in a black t-shirt and Levis, his hair was wet and the messy ways were pushed off his forehead. He was still so devilishly handsome, he never tried too hard with his looks, but that didn’t mean he didn’t look good; it arguably made him more attractive. 

“A’right, I’m going to get outta here,” He put his hands on his lap and made his way to stand, “Tommy is gonna be here any second.” 

“Dad, did you remember to order pizza?” Sarah asked with a hint of annoyance. 

“Oh shit,” he felt his pockets pulling out his phone, “I’ll call on the way over to the bar.”

“Don’t worry about it, Joel. I’ll get it,” You smiled softly at him, pulling out your own phone. 

“Y’sure?” He asked. 

“Yes, yes, she’s sure, now, go have fun. We have a very important girls night to get started on.” Sarah shooed her father toward the door.

Joel just laughed and rolled his eyes, you shrugged in response. 

As soon as you heard the door shut Sarah came rushing back to the living room. 

“Sorry, he’s a mess,” Sarah laughed.

“I can see that nothing has changed,” You laughed with her. 

You both fell into a comfortable conversation, it was nice to see Sarah so happy. She was completely different then when you had left, yet somehow exactly the same. 

The night was spent watching cheesy rom-coms, doing face masks and nails, and eventually Sarah had fallen asleep in her pajamas on the couch. It was nearly one in the morning, you placed a blanket over her small frame and began quietly tidying the living room. 

The night had warmed your heart in a way you weren’t sure you’d be able to feel again. Sarah was such a light in your life for so long, and now she was turning into this beautiful and kind teenager. You had talked all about her school, Joel and Tommy’s shenanigans, and what’s been happening around Austin. She didn’t push you though, you had talked about Toronto and being away from home without delving into any fresh wounds.

 It was nice, it felt good to know when you left it wasn’t your last memory of Sarah. You worried for years it had been and you’d have to watch her grow through the lens of your brother, but here she was in the flesh. 

You sighed, putting the leftover pizza in the fridge and pouring any extra soda from your glasses down the drain. You went and checked on Sarah after you had finished cleaning up to make sure she was still sleeping. She hadn’t even stirred, so you took this as the best opportunity to step outside and have a smoke. 

It wasn’t something you were proud of, but was something that you would normally only do after particularly stressful days. Today would classify as one, you didn’t like fighting with Kels. That, plus the anxiety of coming to the Miller’s and not knowing what to expect, warranted a need to de-stress. 

You made your way into the backyard, only closing the screen door in case Sarah woke up, and placed a cigarette between your lips. Just as you were searching through your bag for a light a voice startled you. 

“Hey, I didn’t know you smoked?” Joel. 

Fuck, you knew he probably wouldn’t have been much later, but it felt pathetic to be sneaking a cigarette on his back porch. 

“Not often, but you’d be surprised how common it is in healthcare.” You said finding the lighter and lighting the end. 

He looked at you for a moment, and you realized maybe he didn’t want you smoking on his back porch. 

“Oh, shit sorry, you okay if I-“ 

“Oh, yeah, I don’t really care,” he hurried before you could finish your question.

“Cool,” you said. 

The silence grew uncomfortable between you two. 

“I, uh, didn’t mean to startle y’a there,” Joel said. 

“Oh,” 

“I just saw the light on and wondered if you were out here.” 

“And here I was…”

“Here you were,” He shifted, “You always loved it back here. Sitting looking up at the stars after Sarah went to bed.”

“Yeah, I think I missed the stars the most while I was in Toronto,” you sighed. 

“I always thought they’d’ve had more stars up there,” he looked up at the sky. 

You had finished about half of the cigarette and put it out, it wasn’t doing anything for you at the moment except make you want to shower. 

“Not in the city, it was like a shitty, colder, New York,” You laughed. 

Joel chuckled at your comment. He came closer to you and leaned on the railing of the deck with you. It felt almost suffocating, he was so close to you and it felt so intimate. 

“Y’know, we’re really happy you’re here,” He said quietly. 

“Joel, don’t…” you warned. 

“I mean it, Sarah never stopped asking about you. She missed you, this girl's night made her whole year.” 

“Joel, please,” you whispered, tears welling in your eyes. You already carried so much guilt for leaving Sarah with nothing but a goodbye. You knew he was trying to comfort you but he was crushing your soul with guilt instead. 

“I’m sorry darlin’ I just… always asked myself what if things were different. Where we would be, how would Sarah be different if you had stayed,” 

His words ignited a fire within you, one that burned in anger and resentment. Who was he to ask what if, when he gave no choice in whether or not you had a chance at finding out. 

“We could talk about maybes and what ifs until we’re blue in the face, it doesn’t turn back time. Doesn’t change anything between us. You made a choice, Joel, and so you don’t get the what if’s,” You snapped. 

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. 

“I’m allowed to wonder,” He retorted. “You weren’t the only one hurt, y’know?”

“Well guess what, I wasn’t the one that wanted out when things got a little bit complicated.”

“Wanted out? You think I wanted out?! Fucking Christ, I didn’t want to hold you back. I have no choice but to stay in Austin, letting you go meant that you wouldn’t be tied down here!” His voice was quiet, but he was clearly irritated.

“I didn’t need you to let me go, I’m very capable of making my own choices. And if I had chosen to stay I needed you to tell me everything would be okay.” 

You weren’t speaking in a hushed tone like he was. You were frustrated, angry, he had completely backtracked on your breakup. Tears stung your eyes, you were frustrated and confused. 

“I’m done talking about this, Joel,” You said, wiping the tears away from your eyes. “You said your piece five years ago, and nothing is going to change that.”

You turned to head back inside, now that he was here you’d be able to walk back over to Jake’s and go to sleep. Make an attempt at forgetting this conversation ever happened and pretend your night ended with you and Sarah asleep on the couch. 

Joel grabbed your wrist before you got too far. 

“Please, just let me explain.” He pleaded. 

You pulled your wrist from his grip and left as promptly as you came. 

Your chest was tight and it was as if you could feel your heart shattering all over again into a million little pieces. The ghost of his love haunted you for years. He was still the same man you fell in love with, that much was certain. In that, it also meant, he was still the same man who broke your heart. 

And that was a risk you were not willing to take. 

To spiral out, to try and float, to see a friend, to see a ghost.

tags: @thetriumphantpanda @fruit-frogs @wand-erer5 @missgurrl @casa-boiardi @harriedandharassed @undrthelights @wishyoudaskme @reader-without-a-story @morning-star-joy @tightjeansjavi & once again sorry if i missed anyone or lmk if youd like to be on the taglist xo.

[etherealeddie]

Woodstock ‘99 - Part 1

Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Reader

Story Summary: A hopeless romantic hippie meets a roughed up metalhead at what is supposed to be beautiful, peaceful, music-filled weekend. But even amongst all of the chaos, there may be some peace. 

Part Summary: You chase love all the way to Woodstock ‘99, hoping to find what your parents did in 1969, but you find yourself stuck in hellish crowds and reaching for any hands to pull you out. 

CW: Use of weed, maybe some alcohol, rough crowd, but I think that’s everything. Let me know if I missed any!

Authors Note: This was originally going to just be a one shot but I got a bit too into it and decided maybe a short series was better!

Word Count: 1.2k

You grew up with two very interesting parents, to say the least. From a young age you were taught kindness, peace, and love, and learned quickly in school that most people were not raised with these same values. 

It’s like you came out of the womb with a flower crown on, singing Imagine by John Lennon. None of that was really surprising though, you’d been the love child of two hippies who met at Woodstock and lived in a van.

It wasn’t until you were a toddler that they decided settling down in a house was a more stable environment for a kid. They chose a small trailer, in a small town, in the big state of Arizona, and you loved it. You loved having a room and space, and you loved being able to spend time with your parents without motion sickness and seatbelts. 

By the time you were 10, you could recite your parents' love story word for word as your mom told it, and you told everyone. 

“My mom had just broken up with her boyfriend and hitched a ride to Woodstock in ‘69 just looking for new friends and community. My dad says he was friends with someone who was friends with Janis Joplin, but I think he was just there to sell weed!” You’d say, giggling to your 5th grade teacher. She would smile along, knowing she should have a talk with them about what is and isn’t appropriate for kids your age.

You’d been so obsessed with their meet-cute that you’d only dreamed of having your own. So when Woodstock ‘99 was announced, how could you not get a ticket? You weren't going to pass up the opportunity to experience the kind of love and community your parents always talked about, and maybe find some more like-minded friends. 

Sure, the bands this year weren't the kind of bands you’d really associate with Woodstock in your head, but they couldn’t be that different from ‘69. Maybe you’d be a part of a new kind of movement, something to better the world. That’s what you wanted most. 

So July 19th of 1999, you piled into your parents' old van-home with a few of your friends, ready to be enlightened and experience what your parents once had. The 35 hour drive was long and grueling but you and your friends didn’t seem the least bit distressed. It would be a long journey, switching drivers every few hours, talking about the excitement ahead, and what you all expected out of the weekend.

━

Once in the venue, you realize it’s an old air force base. There are no flowers, little to no healthy grass, and a LOT of people. You try not to let that bother you too much, it’s just the venue. It doesn’t mean the people and experience are going to be any less fulfilling.

You and your friends quickly find a spot to pitch the small tents you brought and begin to walk around to get a feel for the weekend ahead.

Navigating between people, with your best friend Avery in toe, hunt for the bathrooms and vendor area so you would be able to find them quickly later.

“I can’t believe we're actually here. Like really here.” She says, smiling wider than you’ve ever seen her smile before.

“Me either, honestly. I know he’s not until the last day, but I am so excited for Willie Nelson, it’s going to be so good!” You reply, trying to politely push your way through the throngs of people ahead of you.

“Yeah, but Korn is tonight. That’s going to be absolutely killer.” Avery says, silently thanking you as you reach your hand back to hold hers so you don’t lose each other.

Avery didn’t grow up like you did. She was a lot more “city”. She was more into rock music and was most excited for Korn and Metallica, and although you shared the same values in humanity, you showed it a bit differently. 

She liked loud and proud activism. You liked peaceful yet impactful activism. But at the end of the day, as long as you were fighting for the same thing, did any of it really matter? As long as positive change was made, who cares if you hugged it out or screamed into the faces of oppressors. 

━

You and your friends smoke a joint or two and sit on the outskirts of the large crowd for most of the concerts throughout the first day. Avery is hellbent on pushing herself as much to the front as she can for Korn, and she's taking you with her.

The set change is about 20 minutes, and the crowd separates a bit, making it easier to move forward, but it's still a pretty tight squeeze. Avery holds your hand so tight you think she may break your wrist. 

You manage to get pretty close to the front, maybe 10 or 15 people ahead of you by the time you see Jonathan Davis enter the stage. Avery freezes, wide eyes on him, she screams. 

You quickly put your hand in hers, knowing keeping track of your friend is your only goal for the entire set. You didn’t know much of Korn’s music anyway, just a few songs she’d played for you over the course of your friendship. 

The show goes on, and the crowd is getting rowdy. Mosh pits opening in every corner, people screaming and throwing things, and it’s not necessarily bad, you just aren’t ready for it. 

A small pit opens right next to you and you see Avery get excited, she smirks, and before you have a second to say anything, she runs into the pit. For the few minutes she’s moshing, you see her body multiple grown men and you breathe a sigh of relief. You know she can handle herself, but these people are far more aggressive than you had expected. 

As the set comes to a close, you can feel the energy and buzz of the audience. It’s much more abrasive and driven than you can handle, but there's no way to get out of this crowd easily, so you and Avery stay put, arms intertwined to keep together.

The next band is newer. They’ve been around for a few years but had just signed onto a label, and this is probably the biggest show they’ve ever played. You’ve heard of them from Avery before, she had seen them once before in a much smaller venue, maybe 50 people, and she said they were “pretty okay”. 

An announcer comes out onto the stage, grabbing a microphone and yelling.

“How incredible was THAT, you guys?” He yells, earning cheers and excitement from everyone around you.

“Hope you all saved some energy for this next group. They're new on the scene and ready to rock. Everybody, this is Corroded Coffin!” He yells again as the 4 members come out and you’re frozen as the lead singer hits centerstage. 

If he’s nervous, you can’t tell. You take in his appearance completely. From his ripped jeans and battle vest, to his long curly hair. 

Eddie Munson, although you don’t know his name yet, is the prettiest man you’ve ever seen.

[girljeremystrong]

i am in a conundrum.

so basically as you all know i have this best friend i did everything with all the time until she got a boyfriend 2 years ago and now i literally haven't seen her in 10 months and we text very very little as well (haven't heard from her in 10 days) but when we did everything together we liked this band and went to see them together and we had such a good time and then we got tickets to see them again but she got a panic attack on the way so we didn't end up seeing then anyhow now it's over 4 years later and like i said our relationship is sadly very different now but this band is going on tour again and one of my favorite artists is opening for them so i absolutely want to get tickets which maybe if it weren't for the opener i wouldn't bother with. my issue is do i have to tell her or talk to her about this because we used to go to concerts together? i have been to concerts without her in the meantime but it was never somebody we both used to like. i am kind of reticent to tell her because 1. no shot she wouldn't invite her ugly boyfriend along and 2. why shouldn't she tell me about it instead? 3. she has a job with weird hours and the concert is on a friday pretty far away so we would have to sleep over and i think she would have to think about it. tickets go on sale in 14 hours and i kinda want to just get tickets for me and my sister (probably seating tickets) and not tell her anything but not to be petty just to save myself some trouble... but is it actually mean or rude? will it be awkward if it comes up in conversation? the band is imagine dragons by the way DO NOT MAKE FUN OF ME

[thetalkingwave]

I got a message on reddit the other day following another warmup comic I had posted onto an anime subreddit. To paraphrase his question "Why the hell do you ship Hol Horse and Applejack?" I had a short and sweet answer in "Opposites Attract" but I decided to instead edit an essay I'd written prior. So here it is, the updated version of the Holjack essay! Episode citations weren't included in the original response, but those will be in [green text brackets], while any outside remarks will be in [normal text brackets.]

I've been shipping it for years now as I immensely love both series, but it initially started as a light musing gag: "What if a cowboy fell in love with a cowpony?"

Hol Horse stuck out in my mind because on the surface they're polar opposites: Applejack is brave, honest and hardworking while Hol Horse is cowardly, dishonest and lazy. But when I went to dig in further...

There's the question of his Stand, the Emperor, based off the Major Arcana. Upright, it represents paternal leadership. Reversed, it represents instability and stubbornness; what he first appears to be, having a strong philosophy in being #2 and refusing to fight without a partner otherwise. [The Hanged Man, Part 1 and 2]

He almost joined the Crusaders twice but relented due to his overwhelming fear of DIO. [Justice, Part 2]

But it's around the fight where he partners up with Boingo, where we see more of the gentler side behind the jerk facade. [Hol Horse and Boingo Part 1] He makes sure Boingo is near him at all times, gave him a coin purse in case got lost, and a cute little detail noticed upon re-watches: Hol Horse never says any swear word stronger than "damn" or "hell" around him. And this particular detail was noticeably adapted from the manga in official translations.

On that note, Boingo isn't shy (through Thoth's interference) about letting Hol Horse know he's not all too keen on him.

And yet, despite the circumstances he was under, he never used the word "Hate"; It's a stronger word for a child. ("He's mean and a jerk!" subbed, "He's mean, and I don't like him!" dubbed).

Counting Crazy Diamond's Demonic Heartbreak/the Hol Horse Josuke spin off, Hol Horse ran away with Boingo from the hospital without another thought during the final battle. [Crazy Diamond's Demonic Heartbreak, Chapter 10]

[Assuming you don't have as much knowledge on MLP... ]

Applejack is part of the Elements of Harmony, representing Honesty. She values it greatly, though it could be argued she values her family more.

Early on in the series, when given the opportunity to attend a gala, she sees it more as a means to earn more money for her family as a food vendor than attending as a guest. [Season One; The Ticket Master, Best Night Ever]

Holding responsibilities in the highest regard, near the point where it hurts her at times [Season One; AppleBuck Season] it takes a lot of coaxing to get her to even accept the smallest bit of help, given her stubbornness. [Season Two; The Last Roundup]

This became less of an issue for her in later seasons, but her stubbornness remained a prominent part of her character. [Season Four; Bats] In her little sister Applebloom's words: "Applejack keeps us all organized and does her part on top of that!" [Season Four; Pinkie Apple Pie]

After her parents died at a young age, the farm became most of her world. She keeps a wary eye for the sake of her friends, but there comes a point where her friends helped streamline her chores due to her living in the routine that there was something wrong in them. (I.E the gate still being squeaky and scaring the pigs, although neither had been the case for a while.) [Season Six; Applejack's Day Off]

Her grandma's getting older, her brother is a selective mute, and she knows how much ambition her little sister has in terms of finding her own destiny. She had no other choice.

It's even noted by Pinkie Pie that she has a tendency to bottle emotions/ "crying on the inside." [Season 5; Tanks for the Memories] the only notable one that flares out being anger.

I feel as though they would compliment each other nicely in terms of growth- Hol Horse softens up a bit on being a tryhard to compensate for his lack of self confidence and Applejack shoulders less responsibility without guilt and accepts doing more for herself. Both coming to terms with how they'd been hurt and supporting each other in healing. Oki dokes got to better articulate why I love em so much, take some panels from Part 1 of my most recent comic, a panel from the warm-up comic and a little doodle~

[xproskeith]

🦉Positivity owl reporting for duty! This was sent by a friend who wants you to smile as much as your posts make them smile. Please list five things that make you unique, four things you are super passionate about and why, OR three of your favorite memories. Feel free to send the owl to those who you feel deserve to smile🦉

Thanks, kind anon!

I'll do favorite memories I think.

1 - Hearing Ode To Sleep live for the first time unexpectedly and my entire first Twenty One Pilots show: I will never forget that moment. I lost my shit with one of my best friends who was with me at the time. It was my favorite song and they hadn't been playing it anymore! But they did! At my first show and in my home city! But really the whole show is etched clearly in my mind

2 - My entire wedding weekend: This includes the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, time after, wedding itself, reception, and after. That whole weekend is precious to me. My best friend gave an amazing best man speech that made me and my wife both cry and she even said he outdid her best friend and matron of honor. I had drinks with my groosmen afterwards as well as a cigar on the way back to the hotel, Then my best friend and I spent the night together in the suite we'd be getting ready in with the other groomsmen. So I got that special extra time with him before it all. Most importantly, I married my wife and we exchanged vows we both wrote! She even incorporated lyrics from Holding On To You into her vows! The reception was amazing. It was like a concert. It was in the House Of Blues main concert hall. We had a live 10 piece band. My first dance with my wife was to Twenty One Pilots' cover of Can't Help Falling In Love and the band played a recording of Ode To Sleep during their first break. My dance with my mom was to House Of Gold. Everyone had a blast. We literally had friends and family talking about it for months and now even almost a year later they still bring it up! So one of my favorite sets of memories for sure!

3 - I think I'll go with proposing to my wife: she surprised me with pit tickets to the final show of the Icy Tour as an anniversary gift. I was already planning to propose, so she just chose the time and place. It was the day of the concert and I was VIBRATING so hard from anxiety and nervousness even though I knew she'd say yes. She did not give me a chance to talk to anyone in line until about 4PM! Finally, I was able to privately talk to the dude I'd made friends with in line and tell him my plan. He helped me pull off the moment and captured the video. She was so surprised and we had the whole GA line yelling and cheering for us. The venue actually had their professional photographer come take pics of us and gave them to us for free! And me and that dude, Wyatt, are still great friends today! He even come to our wedding with his now wonderful wife! He and I yell about Twenty One Pilots to each other all the time. That makes our wives happy because they are very casual fans and he and I absolutely are not lmao

Anyway thanks for this anon! This was fun!

[doodlebob54]

Ok, so im finally going to tell my Sasha lore it took me 11 hole years, but it's finally finished. Here it goes

Sasha was born in a small town in Britain 1927, they grew up with their mom, but their dad got imprisoned and later executed by the British government under the suspicion to be a spy from SSSR. They were raised in extreme Christian households, which caused them some religious trauma. When they were 15, they killed three people under religious influence by believing that it was the quietest way to the Lord, their victims were, some kid named Billy, he was found drowned in the river with a rock tied to his neck, Mr. Handyman as, as only his head was found splashing in the towns fontan and lastly Ms. Colgate, but unfortunately, the cops arrived quickly, and with her last breath, she said who killed her. Sasha was in the bathroom washing away the blood when the cops arrived and got them arrested, Sasha was put to trial, where they pleaded guilty and admitting to kill those people, then they were got themselves one way ticket to the asylum. They spent a year in it, being prescribed electro shock therapy, which was secluded weekly. They were also subjected to verbal and physical abuse since they were the oldest kid in the asylum (yes, there was an asylum for kids) they died in June of 1941 due to an overdose of the electro shock therapy, manly cause the asylum was understaffed and they skipped one treatment so the asylum staff doubled it, their early death was probably a blessing too as if they didn't die, Sasha would probably be lobotomized and then kicked out when they reached 18. Their dead body was tossed in the garbage and were rotting there for 9 years.

Now year is 1950, and some guy that worked for the early stages of the happy meat farm industry, and the guy decided it would be funny to reanimate the dead kids' body by using the parts of the meat creatures they were studying, the theory was to use the musicals bones and organs from the mimics and humanoids as they have similar structure to humans but it failed as Sasha experienced a horrible mutation in a leach like entity, they were experimented on for 10 or so years until they broke out and escaped, and they all lived happily every after unless you were a scientist or a human the end.

The story continues as after some time passed, they met a chaos syphon who offered them help by trapping them in a never-ending debt as to the only way out would be by killing their best friend they haven't met yet,

The biggest problem Sasha has is that they are a type of person to suffer in silence they would rather experience their miserable life again than tell anyone their suffering, they also problem killed their mom but they can't seem to even remember how she looked like.

[eteisvalssi]

on christmas day i saw what you guys wrote on my christmas tree decorations and it got me so emotional and then i saw everyone else also getting sappy and writing something and so i started writing this back then but the post got too long and i was tired so instead i decided to finish this later and post it today on new year’s eve!

from telling my friend at the beginning of the year that i could never imagine myself going to see an artist multiple times in a short amount of time to literally seeing joker out twice in three days in september, this year has been full of unexpected events. finland almost won esc??? i found a new favorite band and traveled all the way to prague to see them??? i’ve found myself in some situations this year that i could’ve never imagined possible and it’s all thanks to this green rapper from finland and five slovenian guys in an indie rock band

i also want to say thank you to all of you. all of the people i’ve gotten to know in this fandom have been so nice! when i bought my tickets to the nordic tour, i didn’t have any friends in the fandom. but then i started using tumblr again and honestly you guys are the sweetest people ever and i feel so lucky to have you in my life 🩷 and not to forget all the friends i’ve made while queueing for the gigs (also the ones not on tumblr)! i couldn’t have asked for a better company for any of the gigs i’ve been to 🩷 i also hope that i’ll get to meet as many of you as i can next year!

this is getting long so i’m gonna ramble some more under a read more and sum up my year. have a safe new year everyone 🩷

i don’t remember much from the beginning of the year. i was heartbroken and after being a fan of esc for like 10 years i felt like i could never ever enjoy esc again (dramatic, i know). i did check the umk contestants when they were announced but didn’t really dig further into it. but it all changed when i woke up on the morning of january 18th and saw literally everyone talking about this green guy named käärijä and the song cha cha cha. of course that also made me check kuumaa’s song when it got released the next day and i immediately fell in love with ylivoimainen. even though ylivoimainen was my number one fave umk song this year, i do remember telling my friends that ccc is our only choice if we want to win eurovision.

in march i was going to my first käärijä gig. it was a esc themed student party and they had a esc song quiz before and we got to the finals but the other group was faster so we ended up second 🥲 for the concert we did end up in the front row (with less than an hour of queueing and we had time to actually sit down at a table before the gig??) but i ended up giving my spot to a nice fan because i could see from behind my friends just fine and i wasn’t really there for käärijä 😅

april 7th 2023. my 25th birthday. käärijä's first pre-party and so the first pre-party i followed this year. the day bojan and käärijä met. the next day i was watching the livestream of the concert and patiently waiting for käärijä's performance (jodelissa kaarinan lapsuuskuvat nevö foget <3) and that's also when my joker out brainrot actually began. it followed me all the way through esc and made me buy a ticket to the nordic tour and i feel like the rest is history so i'm just gonna do a quick recap

i joined tumblr again in july after getting tired of only using jodel. i had a busy summer at work but did go to one käärijä gig but other than that i feel like nothing else really happened until the nordic tour.

then the nordic tour came around and i just had the best time. i’ve already written gig reports from these so i’m not gonna go into detail but i got good spots both at tavastia and olympia, i talked to so many nice people and i sang umazane misli at tavastia. the most surreal moment though was when i found myself singing in a karaoke bar in tampere after the gig and i see the same people who i’d just watched perform singing along to me

after the nordic tour i really wanted to go see them again and so i booked tickets to prague and even though the queue was a mess and honestly i’m not gonna lie and say that i’m not still salty about it, but other than that i had such a good time! hanging out with my dear mutuals, seeing both lps and joker out and finally hearing the songs we hadn’t heard at the nordic tour and seeing the new outfits! i also got to hug both jan and bojan 🩷

i got to end my year of concerts the way i started it, by going to a käärijä gig, but this time it felt so much different compared to the one in march. i actually knew other songs than ccc this time 😅

personally 2023 was a year of growth and healing for me and i hope to have as much fun next year as i had this year. i have so much planned for next year, umk in february, joker out in march in helsinki and maybe somewhere else too so see you there 🩷

[lezbfrenz]

tl;dr - i got a promotion, HR sucks and tried to block it/ make me jump through some more hoops, my boss fought for me and it's going forward as originally promised.

i got a promotion last month, but it wasn't starting until next week.. yay!! or maybe not. apparently HR goofed and uploaded the 'wrong' job description in our system for the promotion i received. my boss pre selected me as the candidate. the job posting was JUST for me, no one else would have been selected over me. there are 2 analysts on our team, and last year the senior analyst quit without notice & without me being trained on a lot of things he did, but i took it in stride and reverse engineered a lot of things so there was barely a blip in reporting and did the work for 2 people for half a year.

it was a promotion well deserved, i think. my boss was always happy with my work, never complained. i attended a mentorship program and i feel like I've grown a lot in the last year. she's really proud of me. i try and bring positivity to the team, i always help out when i can, and i do my best to share as many training documents and information as possible to make things easier for everyone.

but, the issue here... because of course something always has to go wrong in my life. the job posting HR loaded was for a senior position, but it was not exactly correct. in the requirements it said I must have a 4 year degree. they did not verify this BEFORE giving me the job offer. they wait less than a week before updating me in the system (my official promotion was supposed to go into effect 6/16), to ask for it.

a couple emails back and forth, and basically HR stated that they would not give me the promotion without the degree, OR my boss would need to submit a service ticket to get the job description updated, reflecting the correct job requirements, and then i would 'reapply'.

my boss showed me the actual job description months ago. it didnt match what was posted on our internal job posting when i applied, but HR has always messed those up so i ignored it. it was wrong when i applied for a buyer role, when i applied for a jr analyst, so no duh when i applied for a sr analyst. the 'real' job description stated that you need a 4 year degree OR (emphasis on or) 5 years or more equivalent analytic experience. which i have, plenty of. i have at least 9 years of analytical experience as a buyer, a sourcing specialist, a materials planner, as a vendor manager. I've done it all basically. i dropped out of college when my mom died, because the FASFA requires 1 parent on the application until you're like 26, even if you have been independent for years and don't speak to your other surviving parent, and i refused to get any loans. a lot of my friends are still paying loans 10+ years later.. every time i try and build up savings, it disappears. car breaking down, hvac or appliances need replaced, lost my job - 3 times in last 6 years. all my savings, bye bye!! no savings, no college. 🤷‍♀️

anyways.. this stupid lil hiccup in HR went from bottom of the totem pole, to supervisor, to manager, to director. i was absolutely devastated about all of this. i could not concentrate at all in the last few hours of my workday. i have been in the negatives for almost three years now, going paycheck to paycheck and using credit cards to pay for essentials like groceries. my partner lost their job last year and is making half what i make (when we used to make the same). the promotion will give me a couple extra hundred per pay check every 2 weeks. it would help us get out of the red.

i have no idea what my face looked like when i brought my boss into this. i was still copied on the emails back and forth between her arguing with HR, and when I went into her office after their last reply stating i wouldn't get it until some extra BS tickets were submitted.. somehow i didn't cry but it was a close thing. she doesn't like to swear at work but she did say 'what the FUCK?!?!' after i closed her door, in regards to HR.

i have never had a manager fight for me like this before. usually i get unsupportive leadership, who just keep piling more onto me, and make excuses why they can't promote me or give me a raise. or say i wouldn't be a good fit for a higher position and i need to stay where I'm at. my current boss has been amazing. i have no idea what i did to deserve to be treated so well. im going to miss her when she retires in the next year or so.

i left for the day in the worst of moods. about halfway into my drive though, thankfully, she called me to let me know that she spoke with someone higher up in HR and it is being fixed ASAP, that we are going forward with the 6/16 start date with my promotion. and she told me not to worry about a thing.

i was shocked, and nearly side swiped a big ass truck when she told me, but man.. i thanked her and we ended the call but it took hours for my anxiety to go away. i just want to stop being stressed all the time. it was so hard for me to ask for a raise/ promotion as it was (after being told NO so many times, you kind of stop asking), it just feels like another hurdle just as a nice lil 'fuck you'.

anyways. if you read this far, thanks? have a good evening/morning/day

[louiisaaah]

gonna give you all a list of the concerts i have been and give you a rating then give you my upcoming concerts bc i can

dec 2021 - cavetown: first concert! went with my mum to a small venue in cambridge and had a great time! robbie was so so good and sara kays (the opener) was awesome and they performed a song together! (8/10)

sept 2022 - taylor hawkins memorial concert: this was SO SO good. went with my family since we had tickets to see the foo fighters later that year which obviously got cancelled but we got priority tickets for this because of that! the vibe was just so good everyone was so nice and all the people performing were insane! dave grohl was insane the whole night and shane hawkins playing my hero almost made me cry( 10/10)

nov 2022 - cavetown again: friends had a spare ticket and i went with them (their dad didn't want to go lol) don't particularly remember it because i was NOT prepared they messaged me a few hours before saying they had a ticket but i remember loving it! we missed orla gartland (got there in time to see her walk off the stage whoops) but everyone was so lovely and robbie was ofc amazing (7/10)

feb 2023 - cavetown AGAIN!: this was so special bc i went on valentine's day in brighton and it was so cool. went with my mum and had standing tickets! it was such a good vibe and RICKY MONTGOMERY was opening he was SO good (9/10)

sept 2023 - lovejoy: obviously this experience has been completely ruined for me and i now class this as a GOOD KID concert because I LOVE THEM. loupe and good kid as the openers were so good! was already a fan of good kid but i had never heard of loupe and i loved them! although i obviously don't support lovejoy/wilbur anymore i had a really good time in the moment i guess! side note: these two 11 year old girls stood up a bunch in front of us when NO ONE else was standing up and they were in the front row so if we stood up to see the people behind us wouldn't be able to see so that was annoying. don't do that. overall it was good at the time but his voice makes me want to throw up now. (4/10)

jan 2024 - bring me the horizon: this was also a random ticket situation but i'm so glad i went! my uncle had BOX tickets from his work so my brother, dad and my brothers friend all went with him. i already listened to them but this experience made me love them so much more. everyone was so so lovely and it was just such a good atmosphere in the o2. i wasn't a huge fan of the openers but they were still good! (10/10)

april 2024 - ricky montgomery: my mum got these as a surprise because she really liked him after seeing him at cavetown and knew i liked him aswell and OH MY GOD BEST CONCERT EVER i made friends in the queue and roe lapses was insane i love him ricky is such a good performer he has so much stage presence. even though i didn't go with friends it's still the best night ever (100000/10)

upcoming concerts!!!

- taylor swift

- the killers

-conan gray

[blackbird-brewster]

Idk what to do. I can’t stay in this state. They haven’t passed any new anti-trans laws here yet, but it’ll happen soon. There’s also just so much trauma and shit here and it’s killing me slowly to stay, but I’m terrified to leave. All my family is here. My lost pets and loved ones are buried here. I know it’ll kill me to stay, but the fear of moving is just so big. The fear of what my family will say or think terrifies me.

Hello Anon,

First off, thank you for trusting me with your worries. You're absolutely not alone, I've actually been through this exact same thing. I'm going to put my reply behind a cut because it involves mental health stuff/homophobia/etc. <3

I want to share my story, because it might help you. Or at the very least, I want you to know you are in good company here. I understand completely. I spent about 90% of 2014-early 2016 in and out of psych wards, hospitals, and ICU. I lost someone very dear ot me at the end of 2013 and it was the catalyst for a complete psychotic break and then a subsequent series of horrific mental health crisises.

At the time, I was living in Texas (born and raised). My family is super conservative (I have since cut them all off), it's the American south, super conservative, and I had been out as queer since age 15. It was never a place that was safe for me. But it's where I ended up.

Due to my mental health, I lost my job, then my apartment, and I ended up being homeless. Which obviously didn't help the mental health issues. I lived in my car for over a year, everything I owned in the world fit in a tiny Chevy Aveo compact.

My circumstances, my location, everything -- (as you said) was killing me slowly. I attempted to take my own life multiple times because I just saw no other way out of my situation.

I knew if I stayed, I wouldn't survive. I knew if I stayed there, it was a death sentence. Like you, my family was there, my past loved ones were buried there (I've seen too many deaths in my life, so this was doubly true and important), my life was there. But it wasn't much of a life at all.

In early 2016, my car got repossed while Iw as out of town. I was very lucky that the repo company allowed me to collect my belongings (since it was literally the only things I owned, since I was still living in that car) So what was I to do when the car I lived in was gone? I had nothing, I had nowhere to go. That place was suffocating me day by day. I had met a woman on here and we'd been in a sort of long distance online relationship for a handful of months.

I decided there was absolutely nothing worth staying in Texas for. I ended up selling what little I had, clearing out my tiny bit of money, crowdfunded the rest -- and I bough a one-way ticket to Aotearoa. My flight was 10 days after I bought the ticket. I gave everyone in my life a 10 day notice that I was moving across the globe on a whim. My family scoffed, they thought it was stupid, told me I'd be back, told me just like everything in my life 'it was a phase', etc. But I did it any way.

And you know what, Anon? Eight years later, I'm a permenant resident here, I'm thriving, my life is so fulfilling and beautiful. While the woman I moved here for wasn't my forever, this country was. My current partner and I have been together for five years, and they are my forever.

I will NEVER regret buying that one-way ticket. It literally saved my life. My handful of friends in the US know that if I had stayed, I wouldn't be here today to tell you this story. It HURTS, god it hurts deep in my soul, to be so so so far away from those handful of people who will always be my best friends. It really hurts to know how many huge events I've missed because I live a world away, but at the same time, we all agree that it's much easier to long for each other than for them to mourn my death.

So I'm not sugar coating it, moving away from people you love is SO difficult, and you will miss them always. But (depending on where you move to) you can visit them, and if not in person, technology can connect you with one click. I talk to my friends every single day and we make it work. (I'll never go back to the US)

It's a VERY hard choice, but ultimately you need to ask yourself what's more important: your life or other people's opinions.

I hope you choose your life. Because the world needs you, Anon and it would be a dimmer place without you. Don't let your location hollow out your soul, don't let your location take your life, it's just not worth it. Move, relocate, start over in a safe environment. I am so very proud of you and I love you, I know you've got this. <3

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

11 years ago tonight I was seeing Avenged Sevenfold in San Antonio for the last time on the Hail in the King tour, with Ghost opening.

I went with my friend Gabby, who was then one of my best friends, but looking back was probably just using me as someone who had money for concert tickets and didn't want to go alone.

I had just come back from a trip to my hometown where I had witnessed the complete and utter mental Decline and physical Define of my sister Terri after her daughter's suicide.

Another so-called best friend that I would eventually part ways with , was supposed to come down with me. And we made all these great plans to see people with going to school with. However this friend canceled the last minute and when I went to visit all these so called friends alone it turned out they were only interested in hanging out with a friend that didn't show up.

They had no interest in seeing me again.

There were two friends that welcomed me back and both of them are dead now.

I came back home, so completely overwhelmed and so disheartened that IF I had not already planned to take Gabby with me and have her drive me to the concert, I just wouldn't have gone.

But since I had bought the tickets and I had made the plans and she was just as big a fan as I was I decided I would go.

The part of the plan that no one knew about was that when the concert was over and I got back home, I had every intention of killing myself.

I miss my parents, I miss my niece. It was traumatic to go back home and see how everything had changed. It made me sad to realize that all these years later, all the people I thought were my friends were only friends with me because I hung out with somebody else.

I said little on the drive out there, but once we got to San Antonio, the strangest things started happening.

First, we got lost because we made it to the venue way too early and decided we wanted food. We started driving around trying to find something to eat and ended up in a very strange part in San Antonio where the tattoo parlors advertised $10 piercings. And I made the joke that if I was going to get a disease at the Avenged Sevenfold concert, it would be from the band themselves.

We kept passing this convenience store whose name was in a different language. It started with an A and no one could pronounce it so we kept calling it The Amon Amoth Mart.

We ended up at the McDonald's in a side of town that was so bad, when you went inside the people took your order from behind a bulletproof glass shield!!

You had to be buzzed in and out of the bathrooms from behind that shield. And you got your order from an opening in the shield.

As you were waiting for our orders a clan of genuine Tibetan Monks walked in the door, all In their ceremonial regalia complete with beads, Bells ....the whole nine yards.

I have never nor since seen a monk with my own eyes.

We made it back to the menu in perfect time and got to our seats. This was also the first and only time so far I have seen the band Ghost. Before that I had never even heard of them and I felt instantly in love.

And when Avenged Sevenfold finally came on and I heard Matt's voice again, something inside of me began to be okay. Maybe I was reminded of all the good times, or maybe I was reminded that I had made it through everything in my life so far and there was no reason why I could not make it through that as well.

The time before that that we saw Avenged Sevenfold together, it was their first tour after the Rev had died. And I literally spent half of the show in the second row, sobbing on Gabby's shoulder.

We had a flat coming home and ended up waiting on the side of the road for assistance for 3 and 1/2 hours. I got back to Corpus Christi just in time to start my shift at work with no sleep. As we were waiting for the tow truck Gabby did my makeup with her Kat Von D makeup palette so at least I guess I looked fly.

I can't believe it's only been 11 years because it seems like 25 or more. I'm so glad I went and I'm so glad I kept going.

[umichenginabroad]

Kayak voyages and el Rio Misterioso...

Week 6

It's come to my attention that more people than I thought read my blog posts, so here's to all of my adoring fans who've been here since the early weeks! If you're new, I gotta say that these are definitely a treat (but of course I'm a bit biased). This post might be shorter than my other ones since it was a pretty relaxed week with not too much going on. However, read till the end! Treat it as waiting for the post-credits at the movies, I might have a hint about where I'm going this weekend...

Pirates of the San Sebastián Bay

I'm going to skip past Monday and Tuesday to just jump right into the rest of the week since those were mainly more days of research. Due to Tecnun having a university holiday on Wednesday, we were able to have that day off! It was super nice out so we decided to seize the day (most of the day after napping for maybe half of it) to embark on a kayak excursion. With the luck from a shilling and 5 euro note I found on the ground, I had high hopes that we would have the blessing of the sea on our side. The rental wasn't that expensive at all, especially for a two-person kayak and roughly 2 hour time slot. We originally planned to set sail for the island itself, but decided that we wanted to aim for an even bigger goal of going around the island. Everything was going smoothly until we reached the mouth of the bay, since this area featured a lot of unexpected rocky patches. As newly appointed seafarers, Jayashree and I wouldn't let this be our end. We successfully entered the choppy waters and were officially now out in open water! At this point, we should've been cast alongside Captain Jack Sparrow because we would make phenomenal pirates. Seeing the back of the island was really neat along with feeling how different it is being the only boat on the water. We ended up having a really good time and 100% would do it again!

Land Ho!

Afterwards we stopped by an icecream stand to reward ourselves on our journey, where I found a rather interesting choice to say the least. It was called a Frigo Pie, or Refrigerator Foot, and it was actually shaped... just like a foot. If I had to rate it overall, I would say a 6/10 for taste and 9/10 for presentation. What better way to cool off on a hot day, right?

It was a bit smaller than expected. I think to improve their product they should make it somewhere around a size 7-8 in US shoe sizes. More bang for your buck you know.

Photo Ops and Friendly Competitions

On Thursday, the night had a lot in store for us. To start, Jayashree, Izzy, Deidra, and I had the amazing idea to recreate some classic JCPenney-esque family photos. I don't really know how else to explain them besides just showing the results, so take a look below at the outcome and I'll do my very best to explain our vision:

We were attempting to create a square with all our hands. We almost got there but it resembles more of a rhombus.

Izzy may or may not have dropped me before taking this picture for the second time.

A big thank you to Diego for being our photographer! Later on, some of us had bought tickets to go to the local club, Bataplán, to get the experience of going out in Spain. To sum it up, we had a great time! We did some rounds of arm wrestling where Jayashree was the reigning champion, and enjoyed listening to all the spanish reggaeton music (there were also some english songs and also a random Can-Can remix).

A quick showcase!

Lately whenever I'm not at work doing research or something with my friends, I've been spending time getting back into drawing. It's always been something that I love to put time into and see how much I've improved over the years. At one point I considered going to school for storyboard animation, but I figured that I like art more as a hobby anyways :). I don't usually do architecture drawings, but I wanted to do a challenge for myself and also sketch it only in pen to up the stakes. Take a look and leave a review in the comments!

This street is from a picture I took when I was just walking around San Sebastián one day.

The Big Finale of the Week: Amusement Park!

On our very first day here, we were taken to Monte Igueldo for a lunch and the best view of the city. We decided to go back on Sunday since there's an amusement park at the top (meant for little kids but I mean we had to check it out). After disembarking from the cable car and reminiscing about the time we've spent here so far, we took a lap around to see what we wanted to do. Almost instantly, we locked eyes with a sign that read: Rio Misterioso. Intrigued, we saw that it was a little boat ride and immediately knew that this should be saved as the best for last. From there, our first stop was the rollercoaster, and boy was it actually more of a thrill than we thought it would be. Not on the same level as Cedar Point, but there were some worthy drops that gave a decent adrenaline rush. We decided to split up briefly, since Izzy and Jayashree wanted to do the bumper cars and Deidra and I wanted to take on the Casa del Terror. I was surprised that Deidra wanted in on this since she's not a fan of all things spooky, but this would be her first haunted house and one at a kid's amusement park is a pretty good starter. For 3 euros, it definitely was an experience. The theme inside wasn't exactly cohesive and varied between movie theatre, jurassic park, the shining, catacombs, and skeletons playing chess. I won't name names but a certain someone was jumpscared by a door, and I almost tripped because I didn't see the stairs. Once we left, we found Jayashree and Izzy living it up in the bumper car arena and then strolled our way with anticipation to el Rio Misterioso. It was a pretty calm and scenic ride with a view of the ocean and city, just shorter than we expected it to be. The route led us into a small underpass where we saw...Peter Pan? Seeing him made me feel magical and whimsical, making for a truly life-changing boat ride. With that, I think the mysterious river really did live up to its name.

The view from the top!

My homies Pennywise and Peter Pan!

As promised, I said that I have a sneak peak into what next week's post will bring. First of all, thanks for staying this long! I really do appreciate when people read my posts and get to see what I'm doing day-to-day :). Now for the hint!

You get 5 blanks: _ _ _ _ _

It's a city in France, there's a show with my name in it and this city, and the Olympics will be taking place here this year. It's probably a dead giveaway, but still fun to guess!

See you soon,

Emily Dobao

IPE San Sebastian, Spain

July 2nd, 2024

[deerydear]

"“What is a word or phrase that you totally misunderstood as a child?”

When I was young my father said to me: “Knowledge is power, Francis Bacon.” I understood it as “Knowledge is power, France is bacon.” For more than a decade I wondered over the meaning of the second part and what was the surreal linkage between the two. If I said the quote to someone, “Knowledge is power, France is Bacon,” they nodded knowingly. Or someone might say, “Knowledge is power” and I’d finish the quote “France is bacon,” and they wouldn’t look at me like I’d said something very odd, but thoughtfully agree. I did ask a teacher what did “Knowledge is power, France is bacon” mean and got a full 10-minute explanation of the “knowledge is power” bit but nothing on “France is bacon.” When I prompted further explanation by saying “France is bacon?” in a questioning tone, I just got a “yes.” At 12 I didn’t have the confidence to press it further. I just accepted it as something I’d never understand. It wasn’t until years later I saw it written down that the penny dropped.

My other friend Carolyn Givens asked “does this qualify as a mondegreen?” I didn’t know what a mondegreen was, so I went down a rabbit hole...

A mondegreen is a word or phrase that results from a mishearing — often a mishearing of a song lyric. The word mondegreen was coined by the writer Sylvia Wright in a 1954 article in The Atlantic, “The Death of Lady Mondegreen.” As a child, Wright had been fond of a Scottish ballad that included the lines,

They hae slain the Earl Amurray And laid him on the green.

Little Sylvia Wright thought that second line was “And Lady Mondegreen,” which, to be fair, does sound exactly like “And laid him on the green.” Her version of the ballad was twice as tragic as the original, since it involved not only the death of Earl Amurray but also the death of Lady Mondegreen.

Everybody, it seems, has stories of misheard lyrics, often from their childhood. My brother-in-law Tom was six years old when Eddie Money released his hit song, “Two Tickets to Paradise”—or, as Tom heard it, “Two Chickens in Paradise.” I remember what it was like to be little and listening to the radio. People are using figurative language to talk about things you wouldn’t understand even if they were being literal. So you do the best you can. You search around for something you do understand that might have some relationship to the string of sounds you’re hearing. For a literal-minded six-year-old “two chickens in paradise” might not make a lot of sense, but it doesn’t make any less sense than “two tickets to paradise.” Kids are used to repeating things they don’t understand. I used to repeat “I pledge allegiance to the flag” at least five times a week. I don’t know what I thought I was saying; I’m quite sure, however, that I didn’t know what either “pledge” or “allegiance” meant.

I’ve known Elvis Presley’s song “Return to Sender” my whole life. Except that for the first part of my life, I got it in my head that he was singing “Regundazinda.” It’s not that I thought “regundazinda” meant anything; I just concluded it was a nonsense word and quit trying to make meaning out of it. After all, I didn’t waste any time trying to ascertain the meaning of “doo ron ron ron” or “wop boppa loo bop a wop bam boom” either. When I finally learned that the line was really “Return to sender,” I thought, “Yeah, I guess that makes a certain kind of sense too.”

It’s strange, isn’t it, that once you settle on what something means, your mind calcifies around it. I know that the lyric is really “return to sender.” I’ve known it for probably forty years now. But if I were alone and singing to myself, I would almost certainly sing “Regundazinda.” To me that still feels like the original version, the version I knew before the revisionists came along with their new lyrics."

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