#and ms marvel is so cool too!! i read some of her comics and never thought i’d get to see her on the screen too

[darlinimamess]

mcu is a bunch of white men and one woman > “mcu is cool”

mcu adds more cool women and poc > “mcu sucks now”

[brawltogethernow]

I actually misremembered who made the suggestion; this is @heyyoufriendthere (orange⬇️)'s fault. Plaintext with annotations below the cut.

This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas Comics will warp to be like films as fast as you can say "huzzah" But when a megamonopoly swallows up the competition It yanks our blorbos back and forth in an ugly retcon perdition When only Fox can make a movie about the Fantastic Four, The Disney-owned comic office will shove the Four right out the door Until the Disney studio absorbs those rights and then you'll find The comics are suddenly awful sorry they left them behind(1) Then in the instant comic fans begin to cheer an awful lot The news comes in from Bleeding Cool(2) the writer is that fucker Slott(3)

Oh yes when comics warp to be like films and leave you quite agaw This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas

When Disney didn't have the rights to film the X-Men and their friends The Inhumans were their idea to have that same magic again But absolutely nobody could give a damn about their deal There was a gas or something uh, the Moon? Nobody cares get real EXCEPT for Ms. Marvel, the only Inhuman breakout success They want her all over the screen at excited public behest Oh yes when comics warp to be like films and leave you quite agaw This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas For years the MCU was not allowed to say the word "mutant" They twisted themselves into pretzels out to recoup every cent The silver screen had two Quicksilvers purely for dumb spite reasons With roots in even dumber masturbatorial rights reasons(4) Wanda and Pietro had their sixth or seventh origin retcon(5) To fit the "No More Mutants!"(6) edict corporate decided upon Then Disney bought the M word back for 73 billion bucks (A number that should make you want to strangle all these greedy fucks)

Oh yes when comics warp to be like films and leave you quite agaw This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas

Now suddenly it's mutant city all over the comic line They let the X-Men start a sex cult; also they can never die With no need for Inhumans they admitted that they're pretty cringe And nobody will ever give their lore a proper reading binge The MCU made Kamala a mutant like immediately Faster than you can say "bad adaptation" or "brand synergy" In short order the comics gave her the murderization hook In such a hurry it wasn't even in her own fucking book(7) Now big surprise she's coming back on the fucking sex cult island They gave it less than one whole month before they played their fucking hand So Kamala's a mutant now(8) and got a shitty mourning book(9) Which when she's coming back NEXT MONTH you might call a pretty bad look

IT'S TRUE WHEN COMICS WARP TO BE LIKE FILMS AND LEAVE YOU JUST AGAW THAT IS THE VERY PICTURE OF AN INTELLECTUAL RIGHTS FRACAS

~ (1) "At the time, we were told that the Fox-licensed X-Men books weren't to be cancelled as they made too much money for the publisher, but the FF as a middling sales solo title could be missed without hurting the bottom line."

From 2014, when Fox was preparing its 2015 release of Fant4stic, until Disney's film branch recovered the rights by absorbing Fox, the FF were conspicuously absent from comics. The Fantastic Four book was discontinued for the first time since 1962 (for most of those decades they'd supported multiple titles at once) along with all associated merch tchotchkes. By 2017 there was a Twitter hashtag, #WhereAreTheFantasticFour. If you want to hear some people be driven slowly insane by this, Stormcast had a segment called Stormwatch where they analyzed any Johnny Storm appearances in a given month. We're talking deep analyses of single panels.

(2) I know I just linked them, but part of the joke is Bleeding Cool's weird place in the geek news ecosystem. They report everything first, so for the first week you know something you can't strictly confirm it's actually true.

(3) I don't have time to enumerate Slott's crimes but we hate him. Source: Dude trust me👍

(4) How A B-List Hero Became Hot Hollywood Property Fox could adapt him because they had the rights to all mutants, and Disney could because they had the rights to all Avengers. Some characters are both because the comics didn't use to care about this. This is the entire reason the MCU introduced a Pietro Maximoff and then killed him off. Like seriously who kills off one twin. No that was not based on any comic story.

(5) They're not currently Magneto's kids in the main comic line. Everyone hates this.

(6) This is a cheap reference to the comic storyline "House of M".

(7) They killed her off in Amazing Spider-Man (2022) #26 and none of her supporting cast was there.

(8) Kamala Khan to Return in “Ms. Marvel: The New Mutant”

(9) Look at this thing:

WHO are those anonymously multiracial teens and what are they so goddamn happy about?

~

Bonus

[spider-man-2o99]

what are your favorite comics?

as tempted as i am to just say “i’ll give ya three guesses, and the first two don't count,” and leave it at that for the sake of The Funny, lol—

im not gonna let myself keep going on and on and on for too long, or else this post’ll never get made, but this isn't. like. Everything. brain is just scrampled egg rn so these r a little all over the place but. w/e here r the first “favorite” books that’ve come 2 my mind:

(under the cut because i Ramble*) (*let us also proceed knowing that classic spider-man/spider-man in general goes without saying b/c i am Not typing that much.)

- Spider-Man 2099 (1992) big surprise, i know. lay off! it was my first comic! looking back on it, i probably shouldn't have been reading it as, like. a 9-10(??) year old kid. but. y’know. pish-posh. when the chips’re down, sm2099 was what i had during a real rough time that spanned years without letup, and as a result sm2099 has been a Really Important Thing for me ever since. has the relative decade’s worth of Enrichment ultimately also been worth the requisite Nigh-Obsessive Brainrot? 🤷 i’unno. i’m predisposed to say “well, duh, dude, no shit it has been,” so that's that.

- Spider-Man 2099 Meets Spider-Man (1995) duh. (in seriousness: fun romp of a one-shot, nd i really like that mig and mj were kinda-friends,., .,,.,)

- Moon Knight (1980) MK v1 was the run that REALLY got me into comic books as something more than just a passive casual interest, back in, uhh-- early-early 2020, i think? it definitely... shows its age in not a great way, at times, but otherwise i can’t help but feel a fond affection for the first volume of MK. (Plus, on the art side of things, it’s really cool to see Bill Sienkiewicz developing his iconic signature style over the course of the run!!!)

- Immortal Hulk: The Threshing Place (2020) .......and tbh, every other Immortal Hulk one-shot, as well, but. Threshing Place especially has some just gorgeous art. I can’t stomach visual body horror very well most of the time, but I otherwise really like what I've been able to read of Immortal Hulk.

- Ms. Marvel (2014) genuinely a really good book and also the only Inhumans thing i like (in no small part, im sure, because there is not a lot of Inhumans stuff in it). starting to run out of spoons at this point so i’m just gonna be blunt if u hate kamala khan Fuck You

- Unbelievable Gwenpool (2016) unbelievable gwenpool is Good it’s a Good Comic marvel has just been absolutely massacring the character ever since it ended. in 2019 the Defiler leah williams took poor gwennie out behind the barn and basically just shot her in the back of the fucking head. we will probably never see the character in any significant or serious capacity ever again :(

- Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane (1958-1973) culturally important to the medium of superhero comic books As We Know Them Today. also generally batshit insane to an objectively hilarious degree ❤️

+ honorable mention(s): that one green lantern story where hal jordan slipped on a bar of soap and bumped his head so hard he not only  was immediately rendered unconscious but then also fell promptly into a coma.

ALSO Blue Beetle (2006) it's been so long that i barely remember what happens in it but i Do Remember that it was Good. i really need to reread the run sometime soon...

[wikiangela]

Ms Marvel episode 2 let's gooo

God i love this show already I'm so excited hahah

spoilers ahead:

oh wow look at her all confident now, love to see it 😍😂

"because we're both charming and we look a lot younger than we are" lmao this is so true 😂😂😂

and Zoe's famous now obviously 🙄😂

God i love Kamala and Bruno's friendship, they're so cute, they're already one of my fave duos lol

oooh, that's interesting, the bangle unlocked some superhuman part of her - like the terrigenesis right? I think I've heard that it the comics she went through terrigenesis so that's kinda cool hah (tbh I'm not a big comic reader and I never really wanted to read any marvel ones but I lowkey wanna read the Ms Marvel ones 👀 and Venom but ms marvel more lol)

I love watching her exploring her powers and learn, it's so fun

also, I freaking love that there's so much focus Kamala' culture and religion, I've been saying that I'm so tired of only ever seeing one thing in media, and this is so exciting (seriously the only time I ever enjoyed religion class in school - which is insane on its own that we have those - was when our priest in middle school was teaching us about different religions - its soooo interesting and I love learning about cultures other than mine seriously) - not to mention the representation for Muslims and brown people in general - I love this show so much

omg she's crushing so hard lmao and Bruno is jealous?? 👀👀 aw poor Bruno

the animation is so fucking cool omg

omg and they're acknowledging period?? this shouldn't be that awesome but barely any media does that so it's cool (this whole show is just so cool)

Nakia is a really awesome character too, I'm happy we're getting to know her this episode haha

it's so sweet how she's getting along with Kamran tbh 😍 he seems nice

I'm so curious about the bangle, can't wait to find out what's it all about, and what happened to Aisha

Nakia is awesome hahaha

oh wow I almost forgot about the guy from post credits of ep1 lol so much is happening 😂

oh wow she has that costume ready 😂

omg she saved him

oh no what the hell - is that woman showing up Aisha? I'm so curious

oh fuck they found her

how was Kamran just suddenly there? 😂 wait whaaaat I'm so confused 😂

this was so good, so much happened, i love everything about this show, it's just so interesting and so cool and I just can't wait for the next episode haha

[zorilleerrant]

“there’s enough content about [character] now that people should know -”

listen. I am aware there is more than one Green Lantern. I can name four of them, although I’m not sure that’s right. I could not tell you a single fact about any of them. one of them is a pilot. not sure which one. one of them is bisexual and one of them is nonbinary, and I don’t think they’re the same one, and I don’t know if either of them are the ones I can name. I am peripherally aware there are other types of Lanterns although I don’t know who they are or what they do. John Constantine was a Yellow Lantern once, which clearly are the best ones and I’m sure he was amazing at, because I don’t know what those are or why.

I know there is a character named Power Girl. I’m not sure if that’s the correct stylization convention of her name. I don’t know, and have never known, what her secret identity is. she might be an alternate world version of Supergirl? is her name still Kara? I have no idea! I often wonder if there is a Power Man but am not interested enough to look it up. on the other hand, I know Streaky’s entire backstory, and have thrown it out, because I much prefer Streaky just being a regular Kryptonian pet like Krypto.

what I can tell you about Aquaman, and this is recent knowledge, is that his name is Arthur. I don’t know whether he has a last name. I think I looked it up once and got conflicting answers. I know Garth doesn’t canonically have a last name, but also I think Garth is not directly related to Aquaman and was only his apprentice for a while. I also know one time he threw a shark, because it was the single panel every single Aquaman fan referenced when trying to prove that Aquaman was cool actually. he has aquatelepathy which I remember because that’s the dumbest name for a power ever.

I’ve heard of Plastic Man, but I’ve never read a comic with him, unless you count his bird form (possibly). I constantly confuse Hawkman and Hawkgirl with Hawk and Dove. I know Flash powers come from some sort of lab accident, but I’m not sure what kind, and I don’t know how, in that case, there are so many of them. Apparently there are other characters in Green Arrow comics besides just Green Arrow, however none of them are Felicity Smoak. I consistently wonder whether J’onn J’onnz has his own comics or only appears in Justice League issues, which I avoid reading in case they conflict with my headcanons. I call Red Tornado, every time I see him, Vision.

I know Captain America died once, and people thought it was permanent, even though he’s a comics character. he might have died other times, too, I have no idea what has ever happened in any one of his comics. I have recently learned that Black Widow comics are a thing too, and those characters were not simply invented for the movies. I can tell you a little bit about Ms. Marvel, I’ve read a bit of X-men, and I’ve read a lot of nonfiction surrounding the whole Rictor/Shatterstar thing. that’s everything I know outside the MCU. did you know Blade was a Marvel character? I thought he might have been DC, learned that earlier this year.

do you guys have any idea how many comics there are?

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1981 - Bonus: Avengers Annual 10/What If? 27

The X-Men, those Claremontian mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men! [more here]

(Avengers Annual 10 & What If? 27) - by Chris Claremont and Mary Jo Duffy, Michael Golden and Jerry Bingham

Avengers? You’re not here for Avengers! Let me make the following counterpoint:

Holy eye shadow, Rogue!

See, Avengers Annual 10 is less about the Avengers and more about three other things:

The rehabilitation of Carol Danvers who, after this, has had her fill of the Avengers and becomes an honorary member of the X-Men;

Spider-Woman and the X-Men trying to figure out what has happened to Ms. Marvel;

Mystique trying to spring her Brotherhood from prison, using a secret weapon: Rogue.

Depending on my mood that day, I might name Rogue as my favourite-ever X-Man, so I really could not skip her debut issue. Instantly iconic, all of this:

Her streak;

Her signature green outfit with hoodie;

Her accent.

Queen.

I love how Claremont once again almost effortlessly introduces a strong female character, one that single-handedly takes down three of the strongest Avengers. Also note how free Rogue still is with her powers: fun, flirty, without the tragic can’t-touch-anyone-angle that will define her for the next three decades.

I’m sorry, am I getting ahead of myself?

This story begins as a whodunit: who pushed an amnesiac Carol Danvers off the Golden Gate Bridge and stole her mind? For that matter, where did she came from? Wasn’t she happily married and pregnant in some alternative dimension last time the readers saw her? Spider-Woman rescues her from the choppy water and calls Professor Xavier to help out. He manages to retrieve the Jane Doe’s identity and knows who attacked her: a woman named Rogue.

Rogue, meanwhile, skulks about the Avengers Mansion, first taking out Captain America and then attacking Thor.

Considering what this comic is about, I don’t believe Hawkeye’s throwaway mysognism is accidental here.

Rogue’s powers work as follows: through touch, she can steal other people’s powers and memories. The longer she touches someone, the longer she’ll have them - with the looming threat of the theft becoming permanent.

After absorbing Thor, Rogue is faced with three Avengers who’s powers she can’t absorb - Spider-Woman (covered in a suit); Vision (robot) and Wonder Man (being of pure energy? Idk, I’m not really familiar with him other than his bromance with Beast). Hoping the three powers she has in her arsenal - Ms. Marvel’s, Thor’s and Cap’s - will be enough, Rogue flees.

Mystique, meanwhile, has duped Iron Man by pretending to be the Wasp and has paralysed Tony Stark in his suit with some sort of device. She picks up the powered-up Rogue and their plan becomes clear:

Rogue immediately earns her place in my heart by using billionaire Tony Stark the way the Coyote uses anvils. (Also note the odd way of spelling ‘sugah’.)

I love how both the Brotherhood and the X-Men continually pull focus from the Avengers: for an Avengers-comic, it's surprising how much they're pushed to the background. Again, this makes sense if you know what this issue really is about, but that won’t become clear until the epilogue. I don’t mind, it means we get a ton of great moments, like the Blob calling Mystique ‘Misty’:

My God, this era’s Destiny/Mystique is even more obvious than 90’s Rictor/Shatterstar.

A battle erupts. One funny moment is actually seeing Destiny fight. I’ve never really read comics about this incarnation of the Brotherhood and my collection mostly takes off after Legion Quest, so I mostly know Destiny posthumously. I always figured that, as a villain, she stood somewhere off on the side, delivering cryptic messages. I never realized she was the one to almost shoot Senator Kelly, nor that her powers are this practical.

X-Men drinking game rule 11: Drink anytime someone fatshames the Blob.

The fight is pretty evenly matched until Spider-Woman releases Iron Man from Mystique’s little trap. Soon, the Avengers overwhelm the Brotherhood. While Mystique and Rogue manage to flee, Destiny, Avalanche, Pyro and the Blob are detained again.

With the main antagonists sorted, we return to the actual storyline: the rehabilitation of Ms. Marvel. Professor X has managed to tease her out of her catatonic state and offers her therapy to restore her missing memories and powers. (The ones stolen by Rogue.) The Avengers, not fully understanding why Carol won’t ask them for help, eventually come by for a house call.

Carol asks the X-Men to leave while the Avengers gingerly confront her. It’s very awkward.

“Fuck the Avengers. Taking my beer.” - Wolverine, probably.

See, what all this refers to is the rape of Ms. Marvel. I haven’t read the particular comic in which this happens (Avengers 200), so if you want all the details, I’ll refer you to this article. Before I get into the details, it’s important to note that Claremont was the writer for Carol Danvers in her solo-series, giving her agency and turning Ms. Marvel into a three-dimensional character. The title was then cancelled and Carol was shuffled off to the Avengers. (Rogue was, in fact, planned to make her debut in that the solo-Ms. Marvel series, as one of Ms. Marvel’s new antagonists. Presumably, Rogue would steal her powers there, too. We all know Claremont loves to strip his heroes and heroines of their powers to show they’re even more badass without them.)

As an Avenger, Carol was wooed by some other-dimensional dude/entity named Marcus. He courted her by giving her flowers, worshipping the ground she stepped on and, oh yeah, ‘subtly’ influencing her mind to make her fall in love with him and consequently impregnating her.

Yes.

Now, Claremont is no stranger to putting his characters through their paces and he gleefully makes use of the whole mental manipulation-trope. In fact, telepathically coercing someone to fall in love with you is absolutely what Mastermind did to Jean Grey: he probably violated her just as much as Marcus did Carol. The difference is how it’s treated in the narrative: Mastermind’s actions are never laughed away or apologized for and are the direct cause for his downfall. They help trigger Jean’s transformation to the Dark Phoenix, whose first deed is taking out her fury on ‘Jason Wyngarde’.

That’s… not what happened with Ms. Marvel. There, the narrative condones Marcus’ actions by framing it as ‘her happy ending’ (married and pregnant, yay!), something which is celebrated by the Avengers.

This is where Carol calls them out for their bullshit.

We call this ‘The Reason You Suck’-Speech. It’s a thing of beauty.

The Avengers depart, tail between their legs, and Carol hangs out with the cool X-kids from now on. For now, at least.

So, this issue is not only a landmark because it’s where Rogue debuts, but you can also see Chris Claremont going to bat for one of characters: he (presumably reluctantly) gave back the character of Carol Danvers when her solo was cancelled, proceeded to see how terribly they massacred his girl and then claimed that ownership right back.

Good for you, Claremont.

***

The “What If… the Phoenix Had Not Died”-issue is kind of boring, because it’s basically a rehash of the Phoenix Saga. Why am I paying attention to it? Because of the (mild) gore (and because the Avengers Annual wouldn’t fill a whole post). Anyway, it’s like watching a Final Destination-movie: it’s silly, light on plot and never a particularly thought-provoking movie, but it’s still fun to see all those people inventively but haplessly die.

Plot! Instead of committing suicide on the moon, the Shi’ar strip Jean of her powers after her trial. Jean is trapped in a barren mental state, almost feeling like she's a veggie. But Jean's powers refuse to remain dormant: slowly, her telepathy returns.

When Galactus threatens the Shi’ar homestead, Lilandra summons the X-Men as her champions. Jean embraces her Phoenix-side and defeats Galactus. Everyone is grateful and super-convinced Jean can handle the Phoenix this time! Yay!

And, because that battle with Galactus took a lot out of her, Jean decides she can have a little asteroid. As a treat. She keeps slipping up on her diet, supping on the occasional meteor and lonely planet to keep her power levels up. It turns out to be a slippery slope: finally, she consumes another star (in an uninhabited system! And a small one! How dare you judge her!), but when she returns to the mansion…

The absolute worst moment to forget you have powers, Kitty.

Xavier attempts to bind the Phoenix, but last time, Jean helped him fight from within. This time, there's not much Jean left. Without breaking a sweat, the Phoenix wipes his brain. But she doesn’t stop there. Maybe the Phoenix remembers that, last time, she was undone by the principles of “friendship is magic”. This time, she’s determined to not let it get so far.

It’s absolutely bone-chilling.

And the stars blinked As they watched her carefully Jealous of the way she shone - Atticus

I wonder if there’s a rhyme or reason to the way Jean murders her friends: is it random? Does she go for the ones she loves the most first? Does she save Cyclops for last, knowing killing him might trigger Jean to respond?

The narration mentions that the three remaining X-Men are the most powerful ones: Polaris, Havok and Cyclops. (I would’ve swapped in Storm for Cyclops, but whatever.) They have formulated a quick plan: Polaris pulls focus while Havok and Cyclops shift into position. Phoenix disintegrates Polaris while Havok and Scott try and blast Phoenix to smithereens.

But at the last moment, Scott can’t. Havok’s blast alone is not enough. Phoenix shoots him through the heart and then, finally, kills Cyclops. That’s when Jean resurfaces, realizing what she’s done. She can’t take it - she’s in the mood to dissolve in the sky, as per Virginia Woolf - and she lets the Phoenix take over.

Phoenix finally lives up to her potential: The End of All That Is.

It's a mediocre plot with a lame ramp-up to a terrifying conclusion. In the regular universe, the thing that triggers the Phoenix is the utter violation of Jean’s body and mind; here, it’s being confronted by Kitty. One is the proverbial red cloth in front of the bull, the other is being assaulted by an ineffective wet cloth. The Phoenix Saga is iconic because all the pieces were carefully put in place; this just feels rushed an unearned.

Also, the Watcher is full of shit. You can’t say you don’t pass judgment whilst simultaneously comparing the merits of one tragedy to the other. Shut up, Uatu.

Check back next week for your regularly scheduled X-Men Abridged! It’s time for 1982 and the brood saga!

[lou-makes-me-strong]

Hey! When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then, send to your last ten people in your notifs. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity :)

Thanks! Ok, 5 things that make me happy! Uhh I feel awkward sending things to people that I don’t talk to, so if you see this and want to do it, then do it! I can even send you an ask with the prompt if you wanna answer it like that! Just me know, :)

1) Getting out of my house is great! I love aquarium! Also zoos! They’re fantastic! I love animals! (I constantly question why I’m doing theater instead of working with animals for a living)I’m about to go to an aquarium with one of my friends and I’m super hyped! We’re gonna see so many fish and pet so many stingrays! It’s gonna be lit!

2) painting! Painting is something that usually makes me really happy. Sometimes it can be stressful when I have to paint and have no motivation or if I want to paint but don’t know what, but I still love it. I’m a scenic artist for theater, so it’s what I do for a living(so I guess it’s good that I love it). A few summers ago we did Mamma Mia and I painted a 40 foot by 20 foot backdrop for it almost entirely by myself. That’s was a challenge but it turned out pretty awesome! And I’ve just got to do some other really fun things that I wouldn’t get to do normally thanks to working in scenery. I also do just do like normal painter things too. I’m working on a series for myself that’s panels from Matt Fractions Hawkeye comics.

3) aside from scenic art stuff, just art in general. Im a studio art minor at school with a focus in 3D art. I really a joy ceramics and have been getting more into sculpture stuff! Im pretty good at hand sculpting, but I wish I was better at throwing on a wheel. I’m taking an upper level ceramics class next semester so hopefully I’ll get to practice that. But working with clay is one of my favorite things!

4) and I feel like I should mention nerd stuff. I love nerd stuff! I love marvel comics and some of the MCU stuff. Loki is one of my favorite characters in the comics and MCU(then Agent of Asgard Loki comics are like my favorite thing). And I feel like I can’t say I like loki without mentioning him being canonically bi in the MCU. He’s already bi in the comics which is amazing. But I never thought they’d actually put lgbt rep in the MCU(im not counting endgame that was the bare minimum and it meant nothing). I was so happy about that I cried(I am also bi). They just mentioned it so casually, i just was not ready for it and i was just crying in a corner at 4am about it. I also love the young avengers comics(Wiccan, hulking, and speed are great), the hawkeye comics(Kate and Clint are amazing), iron man(I love the movies, but haven’t read as many of his comics), The New Mutants comics(Sunspot and Cannonball are my favorites), Ms. Marvel(Kamala is incredible and everybody should read her comics)!They’re just good and make me so happy. I also have a marvel side blog @lowkeymarveladdict if anybody wants to follow me there.

5) more nerd stuff! D&D is cool. I’m in my first game with some friends rn and it’s been really fun! We’re playing Tomb of Annihilation. We haven’t played in a while and we aren’t very far in the campaign bc people are difficult, but I can’t wait to play more. My character is a water genasi Druid and they have a hellhoud puppy and I love them. I also love to watch/listen to actual play shows. Dimension 20 and NADDPOD are so so good and everybody should go watch/listen to those! I’m also about to DM my first campaign. It a big home brew thing and I’m excited but also kinda terrified bc talking is difficult and I’m full of anxiety all of the time. But I have a lot of cool ideas and I can’t wait for my friends to try and fight me in a Denny’s parking lot

[marvellfashion]

summoning letra bedsoe

my hot take: janet van dyne should be the holy spirit to tony's jesus and steve's father of jesus in the avengers holy trinity. i love bruce and thor, i really do, but jan has given so much to the avengers and when she's there she IS there, when she leads she LEADS, she grown so much and is the matriarch of the avengers. she holds so much importance and has so much presence in the classic comics when thor is always dealing with cosmic stuff and hulk! don't even get me started on the hulk. one could say they want to sell cap/iron/thor/hulk toys because they are marketable or whatever but it's also sexism! it's because she's the first and only girl in a men dominated field/team! and it's because she's small AND unapologetically "feminine" AND because they assume girls never read comic books. the way the 00s treated jan and wanda was so gross and it's so telling and evidence of how "girly" things/people (chick flicks being shited on, girls who are not like the other girls, cool girls, the entirety of the colourless and pinkless mcu until wandavision apparently, i could go on and on) are seen as less than and can't be strong or tough like the spider-woman, ms. marvel and she-hulk (sorry, captain milit- marvel and hulk). i'm not trying to put anyone down, these are characters that i like too! wasp should be up there with cap and iron man. not always in between worlds thor. and definitely not left after whatever issue and only was made into a fixed member again because 616-mcu synergy in a freaking hickman book hulk.

also! let! wanda! wear! a! skirt/dress! as! part! of! her! costume!

there's nothing wrong with it. so many people wear them in the comics (diana, kara, hercules, jean, clint, ororo, emma) and it's unbelievable to me that she never wore a dress or skirt as part of her costume when she's essentially the pink ranger. i keep thinking of her classic costume and i want so desperately to see a redesign that represents the iconicness of the classic (also the og headdress return!).

You know what makes me angry Idk what the fuck goes on in the brain of writers but I feel like it must be said WHATEVER YOU CREATE IS GOING TO BE CONSUMED BY WOMEN AND IF IT’S SUCCESSFUL IT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE OF WOMEN SO GET BETTER AT WRITING WOMEN. Likeeee feminity is cool, tomboy is cool, nerds are cool, sexy is cool! And everything in between is cool! They can give their female characters some cool storylines and respect! And they can start with Janet Van Dyne! 😤

[aion-rsa]

Marvel’s WandaVision and What’s Next for the MCU

https://ift.tt/3c4phnQ

This article contains WandaVision spoilers.

WandaVision has concluded with a terrific final episode, and with it, Marvel’s first foray into episodic television came to an end with startling success – taking a quiet story about a woman’s grief and loneliness, one of the most emotionally evocative pieces of MCU storytelling to date, and using it as a thread in the greater MCU tapestry. And that tapestry is unequivocally bigger now that the show is ended. Here are some of the pieces of groundwork WandaVision laid for the future of the MCU.

The Scarlet Witch and Doctor Strange 2

Lots of people found it odd that the show used Wanda’s real name in its title when the rest of the MCU uses superhero code names. We know why now: the Scarlet Witch is itself a title, one that Wanda embraces by the end of the show. And now it looks like she’s going to be a huge deal for the future of the MCU.

Wanda ends the show by defeating Agatha Harkness and basically putting her back “in character” while the rest of the Westview illusion dissipates, then letting go of her own grief, dissipating the hex around Westview, and taking the Darkhold, (Agatha’s comprehensive guide to evil magical knowledge that named the Scarlet Witch as the magic user who would eventually destroy the world) to the woods to study for a bit.

Read more

TV

Does the WandaVision Finale Set Up Doctor Strange 2?

By Kirsten Howard

TV

WandaVision Episode 9: Post-Credits Scenes Explained

By Gavin Jasper

Wanda is now, to put it mildly, a BIG DEAL. The Darkhold, Agatha tells us, predicts that the Scarlet Witch would inevitably be more powerful than the Sorcerer Supreme, which makes a ton of sense knowing that Wanda is heading to Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness next. 

Young Avengers

Or maybe not? Because the last thing we hear in the show are Billy and Tommy’s voices calling to their mother that something is wrong. 

Billy and Tommy, like colorful Vision, disintegrated when the hex dissipated. They were entirely constructs, which meant their powers were loaned from Wanda, their personalities derived from her, their existence a nice fiction. Just like in the comics, where Billy and Tommy were absorbed into Master Pandemonium’s hands and never heard from again. 

Except the time they joined the Young Avengers. 

Here’s how the comics did it, and I bet how the MCU will too: Billy and Tommy were shards of Mephisto’s soul, captured by Wanda and put into hex magic constructs to be hers and synthezoid-so-not-capable-of-reproducing Vision’s kids. When they were reabsorbed by Mephisto, they ceased to exist, seemingly for good. Later, Tommy Shepherd and Billy Kaplan, two seemingly unrelated teenage boys, are united by virtue of their powers (Tommy is a speedster and Billy uses something that seems like hex magic) on a team of teenage Avengers stand ins. After several adventures, Billy and Tommy discover the truth about their powers: they are the reincarnated shards of souls that previously inhabited the made up Billy and Tommy Maximoff. So they’re kinda sorta actually Wanda and Vision’s kids. At least in their hearts. 

A running mystery about Westview was “what happened to all the kids?” And that question was only partially answered during the show – some kids showed up after Wanda was confronted about it, while Dotty (actually a woman named Sarah) begged Wanda to let her daughter out from where she was locked up. We know prolonged exposure to the Hex gave Monica Rambeau her powers. It doesn’t feel like much of a leap for two random kids trapped inside the Hex to have also absorbed Billy and Tommy’s memories and powers when it came down.

Considering how much Young Avengers stuff is being laid on the table elsewhere – from Kate Bishop in the Hawkeye show, to Cassie Lang and Kang showing up in Ant-Man 3, to The Falcon and the Winter Soldier exploring the history of the super soldier program, this feels like a rock solid lock to come back.

Monica Rambeau and Captain Marvel 2

Monica Rambeau, the newly powered Photon, is pretty clearly headed for space. 

In the mid-credits scene, Monica was taken aside by what appeared to be a SWORD agent, who revealed herself as a Skrull and indicated that somebody in space was looking for her. That somebody is pretty clearly Nick Fury, who was last seen in Spider-Man: Far from Home working with Skrulls, based on a space station, and dealing with interplanetary and interdimensional threats to Earth. 

Through the entirety of WandaVision, SWORD was about monitoring “sentient weapons,” a pretty significant departure from its comics counterpart. Its comics counterpart is much closer to SHIELD but for aliens, something we all expected to happen when we saw Fury hanging out on that space station. It looks like that’s coming true, and the next logical place for that to happen would also be somewhere where we can explore the simmering discontent Monica has with Carol that she expressed at one point during the show. Also Monica’s powers are really cool and should be featured just about everywhere they can be.

Read more

TV

WandaVision: How Monica Rambeau Fits in the MCU

By Delia Harrington

Comics

Captain Marvel 2: What We Want to See

By Delia Harrington

It’s a safe bet that we’ll see Monica reappear on the Ms. Marvel TV show, and she’s long been confirmed for an appearance in Captain Marvel 2.

The Fantastic Four

This is just rampant speculation, but our belief that the seeds of the Fantastic Four in the MCU were sown in WandaVision remains strong. The SWORD uniforms are too close to F4 outfits, and the seemingly new mission of SWORD is too close to the Fantastic Four’s origin for there to be another easy, obvious way in. It’s very easy to imagine four SWORD agents, two of them siblings, getting caught by some cosmic rays on a mission in space and catching superpowers. 

This also has the added convenience of giving them proximity to the Skrulls, historically as large a part of Fantastic Four lore as that of the Avengers. It’s just too easy to miss, even if neither Reed Richards nor Victor von Doom didn’t end up being the teased aerospace engineer. 

X-Men and Mutants in the MCU?

Certain Denizens are adamant that we also saw the dawn of the mutants and thus the first seeds of the X-Men on screen in WandaVision. The theory goes that Wanda had latent powers that she used to defuse the bomb when she and Pietro were little, and the fact that the two of them were the only ones to survive exposure to the Mind Stone indicated latent mutant abilities activated by the stone.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

This theory feels like the biggest reach, but we will admit that there is something to Pietro having latent powers that allowed him to survive. That is probably the strongest circumstantial evidence for this theory, that WandaVision is also the dawn of the X-Men joining the MCU. But it’s still a little bit of a stretch, and if it was the launch of Marvel’s merry movie mutants, we’re sure to get more teases in upcoming shows and flicks.

  The post Marvel’s WandaVision and What’s Next for the MCU appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3ej7P1L

[comicsnsuch]

Tales from the Dark Multiverse

Hi! Thanks for finding this tumblr. The plan is to share and write about comic books, comic book art, other things that interest me and such, thus the name of the tumblr. Maybe you share some of the same interests, or maybe you’ll discover something new.

I’m going to try to post as frequently as possible, but that frequency will vary depending on what real life is like week to week. On slow weeks, there will be more stuff, on busy weeks less.  You get it.  Hopefully if you check in now and then you’ll find some new content.

I work (worked?) in a comic book shop, but as I have been recently reminded, due to the COVID-19/Coronavirus epidemic, I am non-essential.  Thanks State Government! Always good to have a self esteem boost! 

Anyway… I love comic books, reading them, talking about them, (thinking about) making them and so on. Always have, always will. I wanted to have an outlet for sharing that while I can’t be in the shop doing it face to face with customers and random strangers. 

I’ll be writing short reviews for what I’ve been reading, new stuff, old stuff, posting pics, etc.  

 Feel free to comment, but please keep it friendly. Assholery will not be tolerated.

To start with I just finished reading all of DC Comics Tales of the Dark Multiverse one shots. 

                                     I made this in MS Paint!

These started coming out in 2019 and the last one was released in early 2020. The idea behind each is Tempus Fuginaut, a sort of Watcher type character for the DCU (who I think debuted, or at least I fist remember seeing in the Sideways ongoing, a Dark Nights Metal spin off) observing the multiverse and introducing a story that takes an important moment in DC history and asks “what would have happened if things had gone differently?” DC’s version of What If?  in a nutshell.

       That’s Tempus Fuginauts big ol’ head in case you were wondering

 As the “Dark” in Tales of the Dark Multiverse might imply, these are not happy stories.

The first one shot that was released was Tales of the Dark Multiverse Batman Knightfall by Scott Snyder and Kyle Higgens with art by Javi Fernandez.  

This was probably my least favorite of the five issues. Since the “No Justice” mini series event I’m over Scott Snyder. I feel he has so many ideas rattling around in his head that he begins one story, gets too excited about the next one and leaves you underwhelmed with the current arc but dying to read the next. (That being said I of course checked out Batman Last Knight on Earth, having read his and Capullo’s entire New 52 Batman run I didn’t want to miss their “final” word on Batman, but have not read his just wrapped run on Justice League which I hear was quite good). 

I read this one right when it was released a few months ago, so my memory of it might not be the best.  

This one centers around the Knightfall event where Bane breaks Batman’s back and Jean Paul Valley/Azrael takes on the role of Batman. In this reality Bruce never recovers and Jean Paul remains Batman becoming Saint Batman, a Bats Azrael mash up. Javi Fernandez does a great job on the art and Snyder loves chopping people up. 

                                                      Gross.

Definitely worth the read if you’re interested in it or are a fan of Batman or just the Knightfall era. If you grab this series in collected format it’s not so bad that I recommend skipping it, just not my favorite from this batch of books. 

Next up is Tales of the Dark Multiverse Death of Superman by Jeff Loveness with art by Brad Walker and Andrew Hennessey. I really enjoyed this one, it was a good quick read and had a nice arc to it. One of the better issues from this series if you’re asking me.

Right after Superman dies defeating Doomsday in the Death of Superman story arc, the rest of the Justice League shows up, literally as the blood is drying.Ten seconds too late. Lois Lane blames Supes’ death on the heroes for not being there to aid him. 

She makes her way to the Fortress of Solitude and thanks to the Eradicator gets herself all the powers of Superman. She then goes about dishing out justice, with extreme prejudice, to the villains the heroes normally let the revolving doors of the DC justice system handle. This involves a couple of great scenes with Batman and Lex Luthor. Loveness nails the dialogue and the character arc he puts Lois on is great to read. 

                                  Walker and Hennesey do it again!

There’s more to this story than I’ve put here, but I don’t want to say too much and ruin your enjoyment of it if/when you read it.

Special shout out to the art team of Brad Walker and Andrew Hennessey. I feel like they don’t get enough love. They killed it on the Demon Hell is Earth mini, and from what I can tell are crushing it on Detective Comics. Dudes can draw. Spread the word!

Then we move onto Tales of the Dark Multiverse Blackest Night by Tim Seeley and Kyle Hotz. 

This one was a bit wordy, but a lot of fun! I would put this one in the middle of the pack. 

Seeley brings together an interesting bunch of characters including Sinestro, Dove, Lobo and the New Gods! The plot is a little complex, but basically after the Color Corps lose the battle against Nekron in Blackest Night, Sinestro is looking for a way to undo the damage done and becomes a pawn in Scott Free’s plot to do the same. 

Give Seeley a Lobo book or a Hawk and Dove book, or a Mister Miracle book!. He gives each character a unique voice which makes their joint travels through the plot that much more fun to read.

Kyle Hotz’s  art in this issue reminds of a 90’s Image Comic in the best possible way. Lots of detail and cool poses. I also see a lot of Bernie Wrightson in there with Hotz’s heavy use of black and the sinewy musculature of the characters. The book is worth the price of admission to see his renditions of Dove and Mister Miracle. 

                                                          kewl!

 I’m glad to see Hotz working more or just seeing more of Hotz’s work. I don’t know if he fell out of the industry after drawing the original The Hood mini for Marvel with Brian K. Vaughan, working with Eric “The Goon” Powell on Billy the Kid’s Old Timey Odditys, doing art on Carnage Mind Bomb and more I’m sure ( I just can’t remember it all), or I just wasn’t paying attention to what he was working on. If it’s the later, shame on me, if it’s the former, welcome back Mr. Hotz, you’re crushing it and I look forward to seeing more from you. Check out more Kyle Hotz work by following him on Instagram @kylehotzcomics.

Let’s not neglect the oft overlooked inkers! I’m not sure who inked what, but on a guess, Dexter Vines and Walden Wong brought a smooth, cleanness to the proceedings with lots of nicely tapered lines. Again just guessing here, because I don’t know for sure, but Danny Miki used a finer line bringing a scratchy-ness the others didn’t but also amazing detail and clarity on some of the portraiture in the later half of the book. 

Who’s next? Why it’s Tales of the Dark Multiverse Infinite Crisis!

This one may have been my favorite. When the original Infinite Crisis series came out it was a period  where, due to personal lack of enjoyment, I wasn’t reading much of DC’s output, but I did read the Countdown to Infinite Crisis one shot this issue takes as it’s jumping off point. After having read this issue, it makes me want to go back and read Infinite Crisis. I would say that’s the sign of a good issue.

In this alternate reality Blue Beetle, Ted Kord, kills Maxwell Lord instead of vice versa, making himself the head of Checkmate. He then goes about trying to prevent the coming crisis. It’s kind of a tale about absolute power corrupting absolutely, it’s also an underdog tale about getting in over your head.

                Sorry if these images aren’t the best, I’m new at this!

James Tynion IV does a great job catching you up on any old DC continuity plot points you may have forgotten or never knew about in the first place.If you’re reading Tynion’s current run on Batman, or his work on Detective Comics and Justice League Dark, you know he can handle a complex plot like this and does a great job condensing it all down to a single issue.  Aaron Lopresti and Matt Ryan handle the art and they do a great job. Always happy to see Lopresti’s name on a book I want to read.

Bonus points: You can never have too many Ted Kord, Blue Beetle comics, especially when Booster Gold pops up, even if only momentarily. 

If this series leaves you wanting more Blue and Gold action may I direct you to Booster Gold (2nd series) #32 thru about 38ish for some quality comics.

Final one, Tales from the Dark Multiverse the Judas Contract!

I’m not as old as my writing may imply so I had to read the Judas Contract in collected format about 20 years after it was originally released and after having seen it on many a fanzine’s (Wizard) best of list.  When I finally got to read it I wasn’t super familiar with the Titans of the era and already knew the big twist in the story, so it just washed over me without any great effect. None of the shock that someone who was reading it fresh in the 80’s might have experienced. 

I ended up liking this twisted take on the Judas Contract much more than when I read the original. “Sacrilege!” I know, I know, but like I said there was no surprise when I first read it, while this one zigged instead of zagging multiple times and kept upping the ante in scale. 

Kyle Higgins and Matt Groom do a great job reinventing a classic that I’m sure many people had high expectations for. This was a fun faced paced tale.  I enjoyed the hero moments Dick Grayson and Wally West were given. Like the Knightfall one shot Higgins co-wrote with Snyder there’s no shortage of dismemberment and disfiguration, which is neither a plus or minus in this situation, just thought it was worth noting.

Tom Raney handles the art chores here and he does a fine job.  Some of the figures seem a little squat, and their heads are too big in certain panels. Could I do better? No, so who am I to say anything? I just noticed it, here and there, it took me out of the flow of the story every now and then. That’s all. Big fan of his work on Stormwatch and Outsiders with Judd Winick. I also hear he’s super nice, so if you’re ever at a convention where Tom Raney is, seek him out! 

                                      They seem squat, right?

It’s worth mentioning these books are all done in DC’s prestige format and are extra long at about 48 pages each. All covers are by the fantastic Lee Weeks. A nice way to spend the afternoon.

There’s the first post. A little longer than I thought it would be. If you made it this far, I hope it was clear and you understood what I was saying and I hope you liked it and want to return for more. 

Until next time!

[thisiswhatwereupagainst]

@shattered-catalyst asked me what underused female Marvel characters that I’d like to see in the RPC. I misread it as asking what underused female characters I would like to see in a canon Marvel story, and started making this list. Then I realized what they ACTUALLY asked me---and answered it HERE-- but since I had this list started I thought I would post it! As a note, I tried to overlook my own biases for whom *I* simply want to see back in action, versus if there’s actually story potential there that I think other fans would genuinely want to see. It’s also by no means complete/comprehensive, so if you think someone is missing and deserves to be on here---you’re probably right! Feel free to add to it! BLINDSPOT - Blindspot is a female member of Mystique’s Brotherhood who was friends with Rogue, and had the powers of memory manipulation. After several missions, Mystique decided to cut ties with her due to lack of trust. Blindspot left, but not without wiping herself out of Mystique and Rogue's memories first, as she always covered her tracks, which is why Rogue doesn’t remember her (actual reason is she was retconned in, she’s a 2000s creation) Years later, when Rogue had become an X-Men, they would come into conflict once more, as Blindspot wanted to ‘save” Rogue from Xavier’s “brainwashing”, but Rogue would still leave Blindspot with her X-uniform to remember her by. Blindspot is unique in having been a Brotherhood friend to Rogue, as she was never shown as close to any of the other members, and was also mysteriously immune to Rogue’s powers. I think Rogue fans might enjoy seeing her in a Rogue story again, and perhaps learning more about their time together. CATSEYE - I think ALL the Hellions were criminally underused, and I know from X-Men/comics discussion boards that there’s an audience for their return. Catseye seems to be the favorite in terms of who people found most interesting, and I agree. A girl who believes she’s a cat who can turn into a human form, rather than the reverse, is a really neat concept, not to mention Sharon had a charming personality with surprising depth for what little time she got. There’s a lot that could be done with her return, and I think she could totally be the lead in a revived Hellions story on Krakoa, or a story depicting their time as Frost’s students at the Massachusetts Academy. CORDELIA FROST - Look, everyone loves Emma Frost, I think it’d be easy to get people interested in a Cordelia story. Not to mention the fact that like...Adrienne is dead, Christian was institutionalized, but Cordelia has been running around this whole time. She seems to have had some big plans once upon a time, what happened to that? Nothing ever came of it. Why not? What’s she been up to all this time? Also, we should finally get to see what kind of powers she has! I’ve seen it quoted around the Internet that Emma claims Cordy is “the Professor Xavier of empaths” but I’ve not only never seen the source for where she says this, she’s never demonstrated ANY kind of powers in canon, besides Emma not being able to read her mind. I would like to see what the “subtle, dark, and devious” Frost baby gets up to! DARKSTAR - Darkstar is a mutant and she’s been present in the comics since 1976. She’s been a member of X-Corps, as well as served in the Champions with Angel and Iceman back in the day. Yet her loyalty (coughBRAINWASHINGcough) has always brought her back to serving Mother Russia first and foremost. We saw recently though that Russia has gone back to its “All mutants serve the State or die!” position, and not allowing its mutants to go to Krakoa. It’s pretty easy to work Darkstar into a story about that, and finally exploring the way she was deeply conditioned to the point her “choice” to serve her country is probably anything but, and coming to terms with that at last. I’d really like to see a story like this, because Darkstar is kind of unique in that her brainwashing wasn’t a dramatic trauma-conga full of torture and abuse, she actually seems to have been treated well, she was just also kidnapped as a baby and never knew anything else. I think it’s about time we get a story that shows abuse doesn’t always “look like abuse” and how denial of someone’s agency can run so deep that their own choices that they THINK they’re making of their own free will, really are products of that. Also, her story could be an easy way to get my STARLIGHT fix, and FANTASMA on top of that. Remember, Fantasma was banished to Limbo, and pulled Starlight in after her. Why WOULDN’T Darkstar want to go rescue her teammate? And there’s a member of the X-Men who is mistress of Limbo and can open portals there, it’s totally easy! Darkstar enlists Magik (who has a huge fan following, and thus would get people interested) to guide her through Limbo so they can find Starlight and bring her home, but on the way they run afoul of Fantasma! Who, being a Dire Wraith sorceress, makes a great foe for Magik! PHANTAZIA - During 1990s, Toad struck out on his own and formed his own Brotherhood, which consisted of several old faces---Pyro, Blob, and Sauron (despite Sauron not being a mutant)---and a new one, the woman known as Phantazia, aka Eileen Harsaw. Phantazia had the power to manipulate electromagnetic energy fields. This allowed her to fly, disrupt machinery, and  disrupt the bioelectric energy fields and nervous systems of other living beings as well, resulting in pain, paralysis, loss of physical coordination, and in the case of superhumans, the inability to control their powers, causing them to fluctuate in strength, cease functioning altogether, or spew out uncontrollably. Not much is known about her personality, but she seems to have been well-educated, as Blob refers to her as “Ms. PhD” and tended to stay out of the arguments between her male teammates, ignoring them while she read books on scientific subjects, such as astrophysics. . She also displayed loyalty, such as when she also opted to stay with her teammates when only she among them was invited to Magneto’s new mutant sanctuary of Avalon. Alas, Eileen met a wicked fate---for some reason, she was one of the few mutants to retain their memories of the “House of M” reality shift, and the shifting back and forth drove her insane. She was last seen in a S.H.I.E.L.D. custody cell, babbling “House of M” over and over. I think Eileen was interesting. She had a cool powerset, hints of a personality, and was never much of a “bad guy” certainly not enough to deserve what happened to her. Female Brotherhood members are also pretty rare, so she catches my eye for that too. I like to think Xavier found her and fixed her mind, and she’s going to hang out with her old pals Pyro, Blob, and Toad on Krakoa. HAVEN - I’ve been yelling about her on this blog for like 5 years, but if you’re not familiar with her, Radha Dastoor aka Haven was a villain who ran a cult dedicated to bringing about the end of the world as we know it in order to usher in a golden age of peace. She only did this, however, because she was being possessed by a demon. Her real self was a kind, charitable woman who was just all about feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, and, as it happens, advocating for mutants. Though it had little to do with her villainy, Haven still found time to be a demon-posessed super-terrorist AND write books promoting mutant/human peace and give lectures condemning bigotry. She seems like someone who SHOULD have gotten saved from said demon, but no, she dies alone in the mud after being victim-blamed by a Marvel deity. Her entire arc is really misogynistic, she’s only possessed because she had sex once and then got pregnant, she’s basically punished for breaking the purity taboos of her culture once, and it’s also pretty...racist isn’t the right word, but she’s the first Indian and Hindu character in the X-Men comics, and a lot of her terrorist philosophy fed to her by the demon comes from actual Hinduism, which has unfortunate implications, as does the fact that the “brown woman with a funny religion ended up being a terrorist just like the government said so X-Factor attacking her before they were sure of this is okay” was part of her story. Eesh. Anyway, she was a very good person and an interesting character, I think bringing her back as someone trying to do good in the world again as a human ally to mutants while also dealing with what happened to her and what she did and her loss of 20 years of agency to possession, would be a good story. I at least want to see a cameo of her taking care of a bunch of orphan and refugee kids who are a mix of mutants, Inhumans, Warpies, aliens, and humans. LORELEI - Lorelei is another little-known woman from the Brotherhood of Mutants, and unique in that she’s NOT a mutant. At one point, Magneto used a machine to mutate members of the native tribes in the Savage Land, giving them super-powers. These Savage Land Mutates served him in their homeland, fighting the X-Men at his command, but he left them behind when he returned back to the rest of the world...all save Lorelei, who he took with him for his new Brotherhood, citing a possible “Pygmalion complex” for why. Lorelei was a beautiful blonde woman who could control men with her voice. However, she seems to have a childlike intellect, as she speaks very simply and in the third person, and doesn’t really seem aware of what she’s doing or why she’s being told by Magneto to do it. It’s a really worrying dynamic, and I also worry about Lorelei once Magneto just...kinda ditched her, I guess, and left her with Unus, Blob, and the Vanisher. Then she turns up back in the Savage Land serving yet another bad guy. Lorelei--or Lani Ubanu, as seems to be her name before Magneto transformed her--comes off as an unaware innocent that just gets constantly picked up and used by greater villains because she doesn’t know any better, and given that this is because of the powers Magneto gave her, I’d like to see that come back and have him take responsibility for her. And if she’s NOT as unaware and innocent as she seems, I’d like to see that, because she’s been around since 1969 and she doesn’t have a personality and she barely speaks! Flesh this girl out! MADELYNE PRYOR - I feel like this one is cheating a bit, because I’m not sure I’d say Maddy is under-used. She’s seen more action just this decade than all the others on this list saw in their entire careers COMBINED. It’s more than she’s just...not used well, in my opinion. 2000s writers generally seem to forget that her stint as the Goblyn Queen came from being infected by demonic energy and also insane (for VERY understandable reasons), and seem to think she’s just evil on her own. Not to mention they take all the depth out of her; she’s a character with a full personality of her own and some very fucked up struggles that she was not to blame for, but that all gets boiled down to “Scott’s sexy evil ex who is mad he left her so now she trounces around in skimpy clothes she never actually wore when she wasn’t possessed because EVIL LADIES ARE SEXY CUZ FEMALE SEXUALITY IS EVIL” and it’s just....u g h. When Maddy was herself, she actually was very heroic, to the point she sacrificed her life to save the world (her FIRST death, which everyone forgets). But she also has good reason to be really angry and bitter at the X-Men, and I don’t see her letting go of that even when she’s back in her right mind. So I think depicting her as an anti-hero, who saves innocent people yet works against the X-Men, would be a neat story, with the ultimate conclusion being her letting go of her grudge, not for THEIR sake but for HERS, to not have her be tethered to them any longer, not even by hate, and finally live a life that is HERS. MISS SINISTER - So, Miss Sinister is NOT Nathaniel Essex in a lady suit. She’s actually an entirely different person, and actually has a very sympathetic situation. She’s a woman named Claudine Renko, whom Mr. Sinister injected with a virus containing his own DNA. The idea was that in the event of his death, the virus would activate in her or one of his other test subjects, transforming them into Sinister complete with his consciousness replacing their own. But when it activated in Claudine after Sinister’s apparent (but in fact only temporary) death in the “Messiah Complex” story, Claudine did not become possessed by Mr. Sinister nor become him---not exactly. She became essentially a female clone of him, gaining aspects of his appearance (such as the chalk white skin) as well as his telepathic powers. He might also be how she got her wicked personality, but since we don’t know anything about her prior to this, that could just be how she was already. But she also suffered invasive memories of Essex's life, and that as a malignant presence within her mind, he was slowly killing her as a means of self-resurrection. He even managed to manifest briefly before being re-absorbed back into her. It was for this reason that she wanted to switch bodies with X-23, thus gaining Laura's healing factor, something she had wanted after her stabbing, and thereby freeing herself of Essex. The plan backfired when Essex took control of Laura's body and used her to mortally wound Claudine. Laura managed to overcome Essex's presence in her mind, expelling it through force of will. She was next seen working with Emma Frost on using The Mothervine, though Emma ended up turning on her. I remember feeling bad for Claudine when I read her story with X-23. Having someone else trying to take over your body is a pretty good motive for doing something as evil as trying to steal someone else’s, while also being inexcusable to do. It’s unlikely she was a willing subject for Sinister, so she probably isn’t to blame for what happened to her, but is to blame for her actions after, which is the kind of villain I like. Also, while she’s usually in lingerie ala a Black Queen of the Hellfire Club, she wore a really cute little normal outfit in a story with Sebastian Shaw and Daken...which ironically is when she actually was Black Queen! I’d like to see more of Claudine, and find out more about her story and who she was before all this, and whether or not she’s REALLY free of Sinister, as she seems to be now. After all...is anyone ever free of him? Bonus if she teams up with Madelyne Pryor! NOCTURNE - No not TJ Wagner, THIS LADY! I don’t think anyone (except me) is hoping for her return, as I don’t think anyone else really knows about her, but Spider-Man stuff is still popular so there’s no reason she couldn’t come back and have a prominent role in that. I really hope they go with the interpretation that she’s gay, since now is a time that they can actually have that open instead of coded, but more than just the representation of a gay WOC (which is awesome) I really am interested in her adjustment and journey into her new identity, and in particular her communication via empathy powers rather than speech. That really intrigues me about her. I think she could become very compelling and popular if brought back and handled well, perhaps in a story that brings back other neglected characters in the Spider franchise as well. SAT-YR-9 - Okay, so in the Captain Britain/Excalibur comics of the 80s, there was a woman named Courtney Ross. She was a banker and Captain Britain’s ex, and she became a side character, having adventures with the team and even besting none other than ARCADE through STAND UP COMEDY. Then one night, a version of her from another universe emerged in apartment, killed her, and took her place. This evil counterpart was Sat-Yr-9, who had been a cruel dictator in homeworld, and has been running around doing evil in 616 since while masquerading as Courtney. Captain Britain discovered the ruse and vowed revenge...but has yet to really do anything, probably because Sat-Yr-9 herself really hasn’t done anything since either. She popped up for a brief moment in the 2000s as the new White Queen of the Hellfire Club, but that’s it. I would like to see more of her, in that role or outside it. Given her connection to both the Hellfire Club and to Kitty (whom she was grooming under the guise of “Courtney Ross” and seemed to have big plans for, as well as some mysterious connection to that was never explained) I think she’d be great for the Marauders series. Or in the new “Excalibur” series that stars Psylocke as the new Captain Britain! I also think there would be interest in a story that finally resolves her murder of Courtney and shows Brian finally at least TRYING to make her pay, I still see it talked about on Marvel boards how unsatisfying and frustrating it is that Brian vowed revenge DECADES ago and has yet to do anything about it, and how much of a waste that makes Courtney’s death (Courtney was surprisingly popular with fans even to this day due to how she handled Arcade, it instantly endeared them to her...and then that’s RIGHT when she got killed off, literally the evening after) Maybe Betsy is the one who finally gets her at last! THRENODY - I think that Threnody’s coming back in the recent Deadpool series revived enough interest to justify bring her back yet again, and I think her baby being killed, however monstrous it was, means that fans are probably ready to see her get a happy ending for once. I know I sure am. ZALADANE - Zaladane was a personal villain to Polaris, and given that Polaris has never really had a book that was about her (as far as I know, I’m far from a Lorna expert) I think bringing her back as the bad guy for a Lorna solo series would be cool. I also would like it resolved if she’s Lorna’s sister or not. It seems to add up at the time it was written, but changes to Lorna’s backstory continuity since make it impossible. I think that a suitably comic-booky explanation could work for that, such as “she *is* Lorna’s sister but from another dimension, not 616, and also that explains how/why she’s in the Savage Land” or something like that. Plus it satisfies both the people who think she is and who think she isn’t.

[thebibliomancer]

50 More Days of Comics! 33/50: X-Men #14 (1992)

Part 3 of X-Cutioner’s Song! Oh no!

I don’t think anyone ever sings and there’s not an X-Cutioner because that’s a different character entirely and this is all about tying up Cable and Stryfe’s stupid plot and I don’t particularly like either of those gritted teeth shouty muscle people.

At least Stryfe kidnaps Jean and Cyclops and yells at them on the Moon for abandoning a baby. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen in this issue.

What’s actually kind of neat is that the comic comes in the original X-Cutioner’s Song bag that lists the order of comics in the crossover and boasts an official Marvel TRADING card featuring STRYFE’S STRIKE FILE.

Alas, the card is not in the bag.

I was actually debating whether to actually open the bag or just leave it forever to its plastic tomb (and read the comic on Unlimited so I could do this post) but the bag had already been torn open at the bottom.

Kind of cool to have the original bag though?

As X-Men events do, it just kind of mixes all the teams into a soup and doles them out an issue at a time which serves one (1) jumbled narrative where too (2) much is happening.

We’ve got X-Factor, X-Men, X-Force, and Uncanny X-Men all in this X-Cutioner’s Song and its X-asperating.

But in the previous times: ‘Cable’ shot Professor X with the techno-organic virus and Mr Sinister had Jean and Scott Cyclops kidnapped and framed Apocalypse for it.

In this issue, the X-Men demonstrate the importance of asking for help before complaining that other heroes never doing anything for mutants because when X-Force’s Valerie Cooper suggests calling in Reed Richards and/or Hank Pym to help treat Xavier’s infection, Storm poo-poos the idea saying that if Hank McCoy and Moira McTaggart can’t handle it no one can.

Because putting together many heads on the same problem isn’t actually helpful apparently. Because a plurality of views is bad actually.

I can see why Beast thought joining the Illuminati was Actually A Good Thing.

Out in the lounge, the X-Men and X-Factor dynamically pose because there are not enough couch seats to go around. But honestly its rude of Psylocke to dynamically pose in front of the couch, preventing someone from sitting down. Quicksilver and Iceman have to stand on the stairs because there’s no room!

Anyway, they decide to divvy up the various peeps roughly on Blue Team/Gold Team lines. One team to find Cable and/or X-Force, the teenagers he shaped into child soldiers even more than being a young X-Men related team already makes you. And one team to hunt down Apocalypse.

Bishop and Jubilee will stay behind at the mansion. Jubilee because she’s a teenager and the X-Men aren’t endangering teenagers! Today! And Bishop in case ‘Cable’ tries to attack Xavier again.

Meanwhile in Panama for no reason, Forearm and Reaper trade a mysterious capsule (that will transpire to contain the Legacy Virus) for polybagged Jean and Scott Cyclops so Stryfe can yell at them on the Moon.

In Egypt, Apocalypse is woken up way before his alarm was set for by his minions who want to tell him about the Scott and Jean abduction and how it was carried out in his name.

Also, Apocalypse speaks in a different, shaky font because he just woke up and hasn’t had his coffee yet. Its kind of cool.

Meanwhile above prose trying to sound deep, Blue Team heads towards X-Force’s last known location.

“The irony is not lost on the X-Men as their Blackbird craft flies over the skies of the Midwest towards a confrontation with X-Force. Hasn’t the area of the United States below them always been called the “Heartland” of the country? A place the politicians laud for its “higher values” and greater moral integrity? Ironic then, that the fight they face is, in many ways, one of values -- one of morals... a fight against the next generation of mutants -- to determine whether the method they are choosing in their pursuit of Xavier’s dream -- are right or wrong.”

Befitting that whatever that was, the X-Men and X... Factorites? aboard the Blackbird debate whether the ends justify the means and what the hell happened to the X-Force kids and they keep calling them soldiers which is really just buying into Cable’s narrative which they should not do.

Polaris: “I wonder how the soldiers could let the general turn them this cold -- this hard --”

Wolverine: “Maybe it ain’t Cable that’s turned ‘em this way, darlin’... maybe it’s just the way o’ the world that did it. Maybe the dream is dead. Maybe we should all stop pretendin’ it ain’t -- an’ accept the fact we’re livin’ in a nightmare.”

Maybe its the time that New York literally turned to Hell and one of their friends had to retcon herself out of existence to save it? Or the time that Xavier pissed off and left Magneto in charge and Magneto got pissed off that the kids kept going out after curfew and getting themselves killed and pissed off and then nobody was watching them and Cable swanned in to turn them into soldiers more so than was already a thing just because of the narrative forces of comic book stories?

And when any X-Man related person found out that giant gun man had taken over the band of impressionable death-prone youths AND WHEN XAVIER FOUND OUT the response was “oh thats fine, he’ll teach them to shave.”

A lot of nonsense had to fly to get us to this point.

Say what you want about Magneto’s tenure as principal of the school, he tried to keep the kids from being child soldiers. That makes him the only responsible adult that the school ever had. He also kept his murder impulses under control because he wanted to set a good example.

Meanwhile in space, large gun shouty man returns from some R&R in the future only to learn that while he was gone, not only was Xavier shot (which baffles Cable because thats not what the future said!) but also that it was him (which baffles Cable because you’d think you’d remember shooting a guy that history said wasn’t shot at this point).

I mean, c’mon, its Stryfe. He has Cable’s same face. I’m surprised he doesn’t open credit cards in Cable’s name and then ruin his credit score.

Back at the mansion, Jubilee tries to bond with Bishop but he’s too large gun grim gritty future man to notice at first. And by the time he gets his head out of his ass enough to thank her for bringing him coffee, all hell breaks loose.

Because while Bishop was outside flexing and posing with large guns, Sinister broke into the mansion and is holding X-Men dance instructor Stevie Hunter and X-Factor’s Valerie Cooper hostage and waxing Shakespearean about how he’s totally going to murder Xavier.

Mr. Sinister: “As I have already explained to Ms. Cooper and Ms. Hunter -- I have come not to praise Charles Xavier -- but to bury him! Bury him for the SINS of his failures! Would you care to be counted among those sins? Would you care to DIE for them?!”

Is Mr Sinister like the polar opposite of the doctor who insists everyone call him doctor?

On the X-Force side of the plot, they crash a ship. They keep it from being fatal by having Richter shoot earthquakes out of his hands to... cushion the blow??? The X-Men show up to ambush them but X-Force ambushes them instead.

Wolverine: “Stop thinkin’ of them as kids, Betts. We’re up against soldiers here!”

Shut the fuck up, Wolverine.

Anyway (one part of) X-Cutioner’s Song. I’m not enamored with it because its early 90s X-Men and has the early 90s X-Men problems.

As a neat bit of timestamp, one of the letters on the letters page asked about the X-Men movie they heard was being made and the answer was ‘yeah we don’t know when that’s coming out but you should watch the cool X-Men cartoon that’s coming out in the fall!’

That sure dates this.

[hellyeahheroes]

My narrative issue with Kamala

I wanted to do a post about Kamala as a whole, but since Champions came out and this happened, I figured I’d at least tackle this aspect first.

When I say Kamala Khan feels like a DC character in Marvel without none of the parody, I immediately think people are going to be confused to how I mean. So allow me to elaborate. Kamala and her story has no consequences or gravity and things are almost idyllic in her stories. She approaches heroism as a fan would and it is full on wish fulfillment without the actual burden of being a hero. None of her relationships are affected by her being a hero aside from light criticism from her friend Nakia and that one arc where Bruno got hurt because she chose her fangirlism of Carol over listening to him that maybe Carol is wrong(she was). Even her rogues seem to be the least threatening as possible and her super hero life just seems so far removed from her normal life.

None of her friends or family were upset that Kamala essentially lied to them about being Ms. Marvel. In fact, they all knew and it was just settled as if it were nothing when Kamala revealed the obvious.

So when Champions started and Kamala started going on these speeches about being a Champion, I immediately questioned because she as a character has not earned that wisdom. It was a whiplash in characterization because Kamala never developed from fangirl to world weary superhero and Civil War II should not been her I shall rise moment because she did not actual suffer any consequences in Civil War II.

In this issue of Champions, she is angry at Miles and Sam for not being as happy as she is. And this is where it became especially notable in just how far removed she is.

When Miles became Spider-man, it was not a “I can’t wait to be Spider-man” thing. He freaked out because he wanted to be normal. He did not want any of the craziness that the life brought. So much so that he actively did nothing when he got his power and continued living a normal life. For reference for people who don’t read the comics but saw Into the Spider-verse, when Peter says that you are like me, Miles says, “I don’t want to be.” That is it. He was thrusted into being Spider-man. And his entire run as Spider-man has been struck with sacrifices and immediately changes in how relationships that he held dear previously. His relationship with his Uncle became hostile, his father hates Spider-man and super heroes in general, his uncle died in a battle with him, his mother gets caught in the crossfire for some Spider-related bullshit, his father leaves him when he finds out that he is Spider-man and comes back, and his mother nearly split from his husband because they both kept the secret from her.

Being a superhero has been a burden for Miles from the get-go. It has never been a thing that he was excited to do.

Then we have Sam who lives with a mother who was forced to be a single parent of two because his father may have died and is missing. He picks up his father’s helmet that all but says that he died and he goes on this journey to find him. In that time, his grades are failing, he barely goes to school, he is missing from long stretches of time, and the kid has yet to find his dad. And now his only means of finding him was taken from him by the same Nova corps that he saved countless times because Sam never “earned” the title.

Miles and Sam’s lives changed completely when they took up their respective mantles. Kamala just seemed to pick up a new hobby.

And Kamala gets mad at those two for not being as happy as she is?

Kamala treats superheroism as a game and I am not saying because characters suffered more that she is invalid. I am saying that Kamala feels like Deadpool, Gwenpool, and Squirrel Girl except taken completely seriously.

When Kamala stopped being Ms. Marvel and just disappears without saying a word to any of her friends, it was not because of exhaustion. She just says fuck it because it is not fun anymore. While it is relatable and hilarious, that is crazy how she has been written compared to the other Champions at large who are in it for more than the kicks of being a superhero.

She has the power, but no sense of duty of why she is doing. It feels like she is living out her superhero fanfiction and that just may be how she is intentionally written. It’s fine that you like Ms. Marvel.Some characters are just supposed to be about fun and good times and that is cool. I like the character too, maybe I wish for a bit more drama.

@ubernegro

[wellhalesbells]

I see you reblogging some comic stuff an I was wondering if you have a favorite comic or favorite character or ship?

this ask is from so long ago but [DEEP BREATH IN] i’m finally going to answer it, nonny.  finally.  i kept wanting to read a little bit farther in my comics stack because.... maybe i’ll like that and will regret not having recced it, i just hafta--get--to it, see?  and, honestly, i’m still there BUT, come on, i’ll never be caught up because that would mean comics would just have to stop coming out and i would be sad forever if that happened, SO

i’m not even going to pretend like i can narrow this down to one comic.  (one ship?  sure, that’s spideypool.  one character?  sure, that’s the merc with a mouth, the regenerating degenerate, wade motherfucking wilson.  but one comic?!)  there is just straight-up too much out there to make a definitive ‘yes, this is it, this is THE ONE ™ ’ statement.  instead, uh, let’s break this shit down, yeah?  (super special secret bonus round, will note all lgbt+ rep and standalone comics.)  in no particular order, here the frig it goes!

HORROR

infidel, by pornsak pichetshote and aaron campbell.  in case you haven’t seen this on every 2018 best list ever, here it is.  and, yeah, it was good.  a muslim-american main character living in a haunted apartment building where the entities feed off the xenophobia of its occupants.  if that’s not a fucking modern horror story i don’t know what is.

spread, by justin jordan and kyle strahm.  THIS IS ONE OF MY NEW AND ALREADY ALL-TIME FAVORITES.  what an awesomely weird and epic story.  the spread is an uncontrollable, unstoppable monster-making force that humanity accidentally unleashed by digging too deep.  it infects everything it touches and basically all of humanity is running from quarantine to quarantine just hoping for the best.  and speaking of hope.... she’s a baby, rescued by no, and the only thing that’s ever been able to stop the spread.  also, no’s gay?  and i just DID NOT see that coming.  it seems like it’s going to be such a formulaic, bro-y story about the action hero who kisses the face off his girl (her name’s molly and she’s batshit insane and amazing) and instead, nope, it is not that at all.  lgbt+ main characters.

the black monday murders, by jonathan hickman and tomm coker.  hate capitalism?  think all the rich and powerful are evil, soul-sucking monsters?  [obnoxious, low-budget commercial sound effects] MAN, HAVE I GOT THE SERIES FOR YOU.

the beauty, by jeremy haun and jason a. hurley.  i just started this recently but so far, oh my good golly gosh, i looove it.  a sexually transmitted disease that makes you conventionally gorgeous.... at least before it explodies you.  [wide, creepy smile]  the art is gorgeous, the characters are aces and i am very, very pleased so far.  lgbt+ minor characters.

the great divide, by ben fisher and adam markiewicz.  this?  was a COOL idea.  the execution stumbled a bit but, gosh, was it neat.  it’s post-apocalyptic where touching another person will literally kill.... one of you.  the survivor then absorbs the memories of the person who dies, taking on a ‘rider.’  some people collect them, some people go mad, some form a bond, all have the side effect of dyslexia.  like i said, neat as all get out.  lgbt+ minor-ish/main-ish character.  standalone.

revival, by tim seely and mike norton.  a rural town in wisconsin experiences ‘miracle day,’ where the dead rise again.... except, they were kinda already mourned and buried and this is really just fucking up the status quo.

the woods, by james tynion iv and michael dialynas.  a high school gets picked up and plopped down in an entirely new, and wickedly hostile universe.  it’s all survival and alliances and seeing what you’re really made of when it comes down to it.  lgbt+ main characters. 

clean room, by gail simone and jon davis-hunt.  a cult, a journalist and a clean room walk into a bar...

anya’s ghost, by vera brosgol.  you think it’ll be a cute story of a girl and her ghost.  HA HA THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENS AT ALL, OKAY.

FANTASY

rumble, by john arcudi and james harren.  SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD!!!  okay, first off, the art in this?  pushes every friggin’ button i’ve got, and many i did not know i had.  second, this book is so fucking fun.  it’s mythology that’s balls to the wall ridiculous, funny, and features a main character whose life motto is basically: ‘do i have to?’  infinitely relatable and then some.

heathen, by natasha alterici and rachel deering.  UGH, ONE OF MY FAVORITES.  the art is just horribly, horrendously gorgeous and it’s LESBIAN VIKING MYTHOLOGY, OKAY.  OKAYYYY???   lgbt+ main characters.

the wicked + the divine, by kieron gillen and jamie mckelvie.  one of my favorite ever series right here.  it’s a hella cool concept (gods reincarnating as humans every twelve years, and burning up their hosts in two), whip-smart and if you’ve ever met a human being who likes a pun more than kieron gillen i defy you to produce them.  lgbt+ main and minor characters.

batgirl, by gail simone and adrian sayaf and vicente cifuentes.  you know how people rave about gail simone?  there’s a reason people rave about gail simone.  honestly, i’ve never had much interest in babs.  i don’t tend to go for superheroes who don’t kill and i have even less interest in ‘the killing joke’ story line and i am convinced only gail simone could’ve done the recovery on that and she did a GLORIOUS job of it.

red hood and the outlaws, by scott lobdell and dexter soy.  (ignoring recent - and annoying - developments), this is my favorite of all the rebirths dc did.  scott lobdell is the only writer to have gotten the idea down of: okay, we’re starting over, i assume you don’t know anything but i also assume there are a bajillion people reading who know everything, and hit the perfect medium between those two things.  so if you want to start a jason todd run, you legitimately can here, and get all the found family, badassery, batman-teasing enjoyment there is to be had.

iceman, by sina grace and robert gill (covers by kevin wada).  classic super-heroing here and bobby’s first solo title.  he’s figuring out coming out while fighting (and flirting) with baddies.  sina really gets his humor and how truly wonder-awful it is!  lgbt+ main character.

spider-man/deadpool, by joe kelly and ed mcguinness.  watch those names there, those are your guys right there, period.  they looked at the void of a spider-man/deadpool series and filled it with absolutely everything you could possibly want for the pair (sans a hardcore make-out sesh, though they did get a few variant covers with some puckered up lips in there!)

limbo, by dan watters and caspar wijngaard.  a fusion of 80s aesthetics, voodoo elements and a noir tone.  just some remarkably cool shit in this.  the ending, for me, left something to be desired but it was more than worth it to see worship via mixtapes.  standalone.

hawkeye: kate bishop, by kelly thompson and leonardo romero.  kate bishop is, apparently???, a super impossible character for a lot of writers.  kelly thompson is not one of them.  kelly thompson is my favorite kate bishop writer, actually, and the fact that she is ever not writing her is a gd travesty.

the unbeatable squirrel girl, by ryan north and erica henderson.  honestly, i’m so tempted to just stick this under ‘contemporary,’ because it really does just feel very... normal.  doreen’s navigating college, new friendships, and y’know... the squirrely-ness.  this had every opportunity to suck and instead it’s funny as heck, never takes itself too seriously, and is just pure good-hearted entertainment through and through.

wolf, by ales kot and matt taylor.  a paranormal detective and the-possible-antichrist go on a road trip.  people hated this comic and i don’t know how you can hate a comic that has a character called freddy chtonic who has tentacles for a mouth??? 

ms. marvel, by g. willow wilson and adrian alphona.  hi, you read ms. marvel because the world is a garbage fire and people are terrible and your cynicism is at an all time high and then kamala khan waltzes in and reminds you people generally want to help each other and the world improves when we work together and that thing optimists feel?  you’ll feel that for as long as you’ve got the pages open and that’s a magical thing.  lgbt+ minor character.

monstress, by marjorie m. liu and sana takeda.  psychic links with monsters, matriarchal societies, magic and witchery, half-human/half-animal (and other ratios) characters, all through a steampunk lens.  what’s not to like about that??

inhuman, by charles soule.  i love this series, i love the idea of being a total average joe/joanne, getting smacked in the face by a cloud of mist and suddenly having to figure out how to live basically a whole new life.  also, if you don’t fall madly in love with dante pertuz, i don’t even know what to tell you, my dude.

heart in a box, by kelly thompson and meredith mcclaren.  break-ups suck, but only because of that whole pesky broken heart thing, right?  so emma gives hers away.  problem solved, no?  standalone.

i kill giants, by joe kelly and j.m. ken niimura.  i didn’t cry my eyes out or anything.  did not.  standalone.

sex criminals, by matt fraction and chip zdarsky.  having sex = stopping time, which leads suzie and jon to the only logical conclusion: let’s rob some banks!

hawkeye, by matt fraction and david aja.  honestly there are a lot of other artist combos in this run but the only ones that are worthwhile are the ones that have fraction and aja’s names on them - sorry not sorry.

SCIENCE FICTION

black bolt, by saladin ahmed and christian ward.  saladin revived this character one hundred million percent.  there is absolutely a reason this was parading around all over ‘best’ lists when it was released.  it really, really did the damn thing.

saga, by brian k. vaughan and fiona staples.  this is the comic you recommend to people who don’t even like comics because it is that good.  like, my dad - who hadn’t read a comic since he was a pre-teen, eagerly awaits each new trade.  the world-building, the characters, the care put into every single solitary bit of all the things?  unparalleled.  lgbt+ minor characters.

frostbite, by joshua williamson and jason shawn alexander.  a post-apocalyptic story that has humanity dying from a plague that literally freezes you from the inside out.  very neat, very cold, very readable.  standalone.

descender, by jeff lemire and dustin nguyen.  this had a rough start, for me, with the main character of the first trade being tim-21, an android who is literally incapable of having the depth to be a lead BUT that does not last through to the next trade, thank god.  lots of space and found family and world-building in this to be had!  but you know how people rave about jeff lemire?  there’s a reason people rave about jeff lemire.

paper girls, by brian k. vaughan and cliff chiang.  the 80s and time travel and lifelong friendships.  it’s brian k. vaughan, you know it’s good, okay?  why do i even have to sell you here, man?  lgbt+ main characters.

injection, by warren ellis and declan shalvey.  this is another one on my list that started out a little rough but really appealed to me later on.  there was just a lot to absorb in that first trade but, once you’ve got it, the ride gets way, way smoother.   lgbt+ main and minor characters.

black science, by rick remender and matteo scalera.  this was a rocky start, because the main character is such an asshole but in a way where he can’t see he’s an asshole, he’s just a tortured genius who’s superior to all of you, don’t you know? but i am so glad i persevered because if that’s the set up?  the rest of the series is knocking him back down.  super scientist grant mckay finds a way to access the eververse, every possible reality the universe has on offer, and that’s really what causes every single problem that follows.  hard to cause the apocalypse and be an arrogant prick, ya know?

CONTEMPORARY

giant days, by john allison and lissa treiman.  this series is so funny and smart and warm.  these girls are so kind to each other and relatable and failing at adulting regularly and often and i love reading about them.  lgbt+ main character.

lumberjanes, by noelle stevenson and grace ellis and brooke a. allen.  this is funny and ridiculous and kind and cool and all other awesome adjectives and you should read it, fact.  lgbt+ main characters.

my brother’s husband, by gengoroh tagame and anne ishii (translator).  this is such a sweet story about acceptance and family tbh.   lgbt+ main character.

fence, by c. s. pacat and johanna the mad.  i mean... i need to see nicholas and seiji hook-up, i need that, stat.  stat means now!   lgbt+ main characters.

WEB/INDEPENDENT COMICS

long exposure, by kam heyward.  so mitch and jonas are my absolute faves and i love them to death and the author is so kind in that they actually put this up in print on indyplanet so i can read it the way i, personally, love to read comics (and - bonus! - support them with the monies).  lgbt+ main characters.

modern dread, by pat shand and ryan fassett (editors).  i’ve been trying to find more better horror comics lately so i’ve been kind of half-heartedly stumbling through kickstarter on the hunt and this was SUCH a great find.  it’s an anthology but more cleverly done than any other kickstarter anthology i’ve read, with a main story line that seamlessly strings together the would-be-disjointed ones.  this was really thoughtfully put together and really well done!  standalone.

heartstopper, by alice oseman.  a very sweet story about two high school-aged boys becoming fast friends, playing rugby and falling in love.  the two characters are mentioned as an aside in the author’s book, solitaire, and she became so invested in them that she wrote their backstory as a free webcomic.   lgbt+ main characters.

the pale, by jay fabares.  JUST started this (like, just a day or so ago) but i’m enjoying it so far!

hotblood!, by toril orlesky.  i mean... is it a webcomic about a centaur falling in love with his boss?  it just might be.  did i get a bound edition through a kickstarter campaign?  maybe.  maybe i did that.  who’s to say?   lgbt+ main characters.

the bay, by bbz.  life on mars through the lens of three young professionals who form an odd but lasting friendship.  lgbt+ main characters.

hard drive, by artroan.  is it a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot?  .... it might be a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot.  [coughs]   lgbt+ main characters.

seen nothing yet, by tess stone.  a nsfw comic about two amateur ghost hunters.  can’t imagine why i might be interested in that [coughs]   lgbt+ main characters.

captain imani and the cosmic chase, by lin darrow and alex assan.  i mean did i want a starship captain who can’t help but lust after the smuggler he’s chasing.  i mean, maybe i did.  maybe.   lgbt+ main characters.

taproot, by keezy young.  ghost falls in love with boy, boy falls in love with ghost, AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.  lgbt+ main characters.

always raining here, by bell and hazel.  just two boys falling in lurve.  lgbt+ main characters.

[seriouslycromulent]

MCU’s Captain Marvel - Thoughts, review & more

I’m off to see DC’s latest superhero reincarnation Shazam later today, but I wanted to make sure I captured my thoughts on the MCU’s last superhero outing, Captain Marvel, so I don’t get my feedback crossed. 

I know I’ve said in the past that I’ve been a bit burned out when it comes to comic book movie (CBM) adaptations, but there are a few here and there that still catch my eye, and essentially I’ve boiled it down to: “Does this genuinely pique my interest?” 

Now, I wasn’t too interested in Captain Marvel based on the trailers and didn’t plan to see it, but I struck a deal with my Mom. (Backstory: She and my stepfather go to see all the superhero movies because, hello!, they’re the nerds that nurtured this Big Nerd. Seriously, I started reading comic books because of them, and my geekery just grew and grew. I rely on them often to fact check the fandom details most comic book nerds on Tumblr claim to be authorities on. And yes, their 40+ years of comic book knowledge and expertise puts most of you to shame.)

With that said, she wasn’t very interested in Shazam. She said it looks like they’re aiming for a kids-only audience, and that made it kind of m’eh to her. But I said I would go see it because I’m a Zachary Levi fan. Billy Batson’s OK, but for me, it’s the casting of Zach that piqued my interest. So the deal was that she would see Captain Marvel and tell me if she thought I’d like it. And I’d see Shazam and do the same for her. Based on her commentary, I went to see CM, and now I’m returning the favor.

That was the intro. 

Now, here’s the set-up.

If you’ve read anything related to the CBM-world here on my Tumblr, you know that I am a supporter of the DCEU, X-Men and the MCU, but I go hardest for the DC universe. You’ll also know if you stop by often that my point-of-view rarely matches up with the popular perspective within the fandom world, in general, or in the fandom communities, specifically.

But unlike some (dare I say, many), I never want to harsh anyone’s squee! If you loved something that I didn’t. Bless you. Live in that love, and pay me no mind. I have no desire to rain on anyone’s parade simply because I don’t land on the same conclusion regarding comic book characters or their feature film adaptations. I don’t think less of you, hate you, or even care if you don’t agree with me. If you do, that’s cool. If not, that’s cool too. 

But before I jump into my mini-review of Captain Marvel, allow me to prepare you for how I roll. Here are some examples of where I landed after watching many, but not all, of the films from the MCU, DCEU, X-Men, Deadpool, and Spiderman franchises. I repeat, I rarely share the popular perspective or take on a CBM as the masses. You have been warned.

I enjoyed Ant Man and the sequel. If they made a third film, I’d see it.

Logan is a brilliant masterpiece, and I would change absolutely nothing about it.

Although I’ve never been a big fan of origin stories because they’re typically written like the audience is simple and can’t appreciate anything beyond the most cookie-cutter of plots and a paint-by-numbers of good and evil characters, I enjoyed Sam Raimi’s first film of the Spiderman franchise the most when it comes to comic book adaptation origin stories. So far, he’s still the person to beat in this category.

I enjoy most of the X-Men films, but often find the changes they make to the characters unnecessary and poorly executed. I also want Bryan Singer to leave the Summers boys alone. 

I found the Wonder Woman film completely underwhelming. Why? See my #3 regarding origin stories.

I enjoyed Black Panther, but was not really wowed by it.

I enjoyed both Deadpool films, but I still think his character is highly overrated by male fans. I like the movies for what they are. They don’t really say anything. You’re just meant to “Ooh!” and “Aah!” and LOL! Then go home. I can respect that.

I thought Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was brilliant, and easily one of the best comic book-based films of the last 20 years. That film is a work of art, and I’m saddened that Zach Snyder’s vision wasn’t appreciated and respected by the studio. Even if the mainstream public thinks that comic book movies should be light and fluffy with virtually no connection to any messages of substance or strong characterization, the studio should have respected his vision and let him complete it with Justice League.

I liked The Avengers and I thought Age of Ultron was pretty decent, but I felt that Civil War was a mess of poor characterization, weak execution, absurd conclusions, unresolved tension, and a dispensable villain unworthy of the audience’s time. Literally everything the mainstream public and MCU fanboys (and fangirls) complained about Batman v Superman applies to Civil War, not to BvS. Civil War was the film that was rushed, and it shows.

I have virtually no interest at all in the main storyline of the MCU anymore. I don’t care about Thanos. I didn’t see Infinity War, and I don’t really plan to see Endgame. Yes, I’m aware of certain events happening regarding specific characters. Still don’t care. The run-up to this final showdown with Thanos was so poorly done and underwhelming that I have no emotional investment in this fight anymore. 

Now, if you’re still reading, I want to say thank you for sticking around and ... welcome to my brain. Since this post is already long, let’s dive into Captain Marvel.

I saw the film twice. So that right there should tell you I enjoyed it. Yet, the weekend it came out, apparently, a bunch of fanboys and a handful of critics took to their keyboards and YouTube channels to review it and cry disappointment. Ultimately, I didn’t care too much because, again, it didn’t really pique my interest. 

Then my Mom told me what she thought about the film and how it was the antithesis of what the fanboys and reviewers were claiming, and this ... is what actually piqued my interest. I love a good mystery, and I felt as if I needed to see the film for myself to not only see what the hubbub was about, but to also determine who was wrong/right. 

So I saw it the following Tuesday after its opening weekend. And I walked out feeling as if the MCU had finally grown up.

What I liked

The 1990s nostalgia without the 1990s “nostalgia.” That is, the language, the clothes, the tech, the venues, etc. were all great throwbacks to this oddly romanticized decade without any of the romanticizing. As someone who was a teen throughout the ‘90s, and remembers it somewhat differently than others, I appreciate that. Respect.

Maria Rambeau. She is a best friend who gets to shine and enjoy the spotlight in her own way. She also has dark skin and short hair. (Yes, it matters.) But more importantly, Maria Rambeau isn’t a sidekick. Instead, she is the best friend everyone dreams of. Not only is she smart, fearless, and a badass behind the controls of a space-worthy fighter jet, but she’s also not judgmental. I don’t know many people who wouldn’t have some residual anger over being made to believe their ace boon was dead for 6 years, then one day just knocks on your door and say “What’s up? I’m not sure who I am.”

The villain-turned-not-so-bad-after-all Talos, played to perfection by Ben Mendelssohn, has the best one-liners and reaction shots in the film. Also, we get aliens with a variety of accents, character depth, and families. 

Despite the fact that the passengers on the light rail/subway car saw the “old lady” could handle herself in a fight, the surrounding passengers did get involved to try and pull Danvers off of the old lady because, from a common sense perspective, this young woman should not have been trying to beat the hell out of an old woman. Kudos to them for trying to do the right thing.

I’m scared of Ms. Monica and her guilting her Mom to fly with Danvers, Fury and Talos on a life-endangering mission. When she said, “Just think about what kind of example you are setting for your daughter if you don’t go?” I was like, “No, she did not!”

The perfect subversion of the “prove to me you can beat me without weapons” gag at the end. Not only because it means that Yon-Rogg (Jude Law’s character) might show up in later films, but because that trope is sooooooo annoying. Plus, we all know she’s stronger, so why bother?

There’s some subtle commentary about the treatment of refugees as terrorists or enemies of the people by the same people who made them refugees in the first place. I would like to think that commentary is intentional, but that may be asking for too much.

What I didn’t care for

The CGI on Phil Coulson’s face. Um, yeah. That was not good. It would seem they spent more time on getting Samuel L. Jackson’s face just right so he could look believably younger, but then they ran out of time to do the same for Clark Gregg.

The CGI they used on Annette Bening’s face is ... not great in some scenes. Not all. Just some.

Why does Danvers sitting down with Fury in the bar for a Q&A about their past provide proof that they’re not Skrull? If the Skrull can’t adsorb distant memories, then this Q&A would only fill you with confidence to trust the other person if you actually know the other person. Danvers didn’t know Fury before that day, and he didn’t know her. Sitting there and answering questions only lays the groundwork to determine if they’re not Skrull later, but it shouldn’t provide proof that they can trust that the other isn’t a Skrull at that very moment. Also, how does Fury know that the Skrull can’t shoot blasts from their hands? He’s just going to take her word for it? Although given he was told by his “boss” to stay close to her and find out what she knows, I could see this as him simply playing along for the sake of his mission.

I’m not really buying this imaginary world where a black woman in the military is taking the time to keep her hair straightened while flying jets and working on special aircraft missions. However, I will suspend disbelief this time due to the fact that Rambeau was working on a top secret project and therefore was not necessarily hindered by the typical schedule of the average fighter pilot. ... This time.

I wished we could have seen more of Gemma Chan. Yeah, Minn-Erva’s a bad guy, but ... it’s Gemma Chan. I already had fanfiction theories playing in my head about her relationship with Yon-Rogg before I left the theater.

What I loved

We go on a journey with this character. We learn about her as she learns about herself, which is what keeps us invested beyond the “she’s going to be Captain Marvel by the end of the movie, obvs.” idea. This is an origin story done in a far more interesting and captivating way than anything presented in the Marvel cinematic universe since Iron Man. We get flashbacks to the most unassuming events of her life that later turn out to be the most important ones. Where others complained about this approach to an origin story, I wholeheartedly applaud it. Nothing in CA: The First Avenger, Thor or Ant Man was as clever or interesting as this angle when it comes to introducing a superhero’s origin.

I don’t want a flurkin. But at the same time, I want a flurkin.

Having a villain who turns out not to be a villain, and a mentor who turns out to be our actual villain, was to me another sign that the MCU has finally realized that complexity isn’t a bad thing and not every story must have a one-note single-purpose villain. Yes, we get a little bit of that in Ronan (Lee Pace’s character), but to lead the audience down this road where not all the information you receive can be immediately trusted suits me just fine. It’s realistic and engaging. Danvers’ confusion mimics our confusion, but not so much that we can’t enjoy the story. We don’t have it all figured out and determined who has the moral high-ground until she does. I love that. And as a writer myself, I respect that. 

I love, love, loved the 1990s songs in this movie. Not only because the songs reminded me of my adolescence and you can never go wrong with Garbage’s “Only Happy When It Rains,” but because No Doubt’s “I’m Just A Girl” is THE perfect song for the big showdown between Danvers and her former Kree brethren. I almost jumped out of my seat in excitement when I heard that music intro. Kudos to whomever made this soundtrack! 

There is no love story. Unless you count the love between 2 best friends/family being reunited, there’s no love story. Thank you.

When I first started watching the film, I had to scratch my head. I thought, “Since when are the Kree good guys?” After watching every season of Agents of Shield and knowing how it’s the Kree who leave mankind dangling on by a thread, manipulating them, torturing them, and turning them into their own little ant farm, my brain had to pause and question this version of the Marvel universe where Danvers is a Kree. But as the story continues, of course, we’re led on this journey where we learn 1) I was right not to trust the Kree as good guys, 2) there are some Kree who are good and Dr. Mar-vell is one of them, and 3) the MCU is capable of writing stories where character development isn’t sacrificed just for laughs and boss fights. See what I mean about growing up?

I think that’s it for now. This review is already long enough, and I’m sure I could discuss more details about the film if I had more time. Yes, I am aware of the mainstream critic and fandom backlash against the film. I’ve heard some of the complaints, and frankly, I struggle to find the justification for them anywhere in the film.

I read one critic complained saying that because the audience doesn’t know who Danvers is from the beginning, she’s hard to root for or identify with. I disagree. The audience learns as Danvers learns. And by the end of the film, it’s clear that what matters most about her is not her name or where she’s from, but what she does with her power. Personally, that’s a great message to everyone when you think about it. 

I’m also aware that a lot of the fandom backlash has been ... how do you say ... male-driven. I think that’s unfortunate given that Captain Marvel is the MCU’s first female-led superhero movie and it’s long overdue. I don’t know if CM is flawless (I doubt it), but I know I enjoyed it as much as (and in a lot cases, more than) the other superhero origin MCU films. The message was great and the character relatable. 

No, I’m not saying everyone can relate to a human-turned-all-powerful-superhero by a blast that should have killed her, but we can all relate to understanding that it doesn’t matter how many times we are knocked down, what matters is how many times we stand back up. 

I’m not usually one for the hokey, after-school special messaging that a lot of MCU films (and DCtv shows) push, but that message about what makes her a hero (the standing up after getting knocked down) seems just as powerful as the message behind what makes Steve Rogers a hero (it’s not the special serum, but the fact he was willing to die for his countrymen in battle). I’m not sure how Danvers’ story is less worthwhile than Rogers’ story.

As for fanboys saying the studio should have just made a film about Natasha/Black Widow, it’s statements like that that make others wonder if your dissatisfaction with Captain Marvel isn’t rooted in misogyny. You would rather watch an origin film about a female team member on an already predominantly-male team where she plays a role, but is in no way as strong or as powerful enough to go toe-to-toe with most of the team members. Hmmm? 

Hear how that sounds? There’s nothing wrong with liking Natasha. She’s the bomb. But again, making a film about Black Widow instead of Danvers, leaves the Avengers with one less female character, and one less character who can kick ass and take names with the big boys. The fanboys -- whether intentional or not -- have painted themselves as afraid of Captain Marvel’s strength and the power she has to be actually considered an equal to the other members of the team.

Perhaps if they said the MCU should’ve made a standalone or origin film about the Scarlet Witch, the misogyny wouldn’t be as glaring.

I don’t know. I’ll leave that argument for others for now. I’m heading out to movies now. Shazam here I come!

[mattelektras]

GIRL HEY I LOVE YOU and your blog and just all your marvel thoughts and opinions and your recs tag WOW you got me into comics like THANK YOU AND YOUR SOUL and so i am so curious to know like what are your issues with mcu? like everything i want to know EVERYTHING, every little detail that's bothered you to the shitty casting to the whitewashing to the lack of development LET ME HEAR IT PLEASE

OH HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE. pretty much all of this excludes black panther and ragnarok. nothing but respect for my mcu

it took them literally 10 years and like 20 movies to have anyone that wasn't a white man lead a solo film. like. that is a LONG ASS TIME

not to mention the straight people EVERYWHERE until valkyrie who they didn't SHOW is bi. trust only tessa thompson and taika watiti. let that be the lesson here

and the women and people of colour they DID have in their movies were done incredibly dirty like rhodey (who could absolutely have held a solo movie following iron man 2. or even 1 like. they just slipped in that he’s become a superhero n didn't do anything with it like... really????????) gets shot in the fuckin spine by that piece of shit robot. sharon was set up so well and now doesn't exist. mcu nat i dont even know where to begin

mcu maximoffs/dr strange/iron fist. the whitewashing trifecta. they went for the hatrick and they nailed it. thanks i hate it 

but with the maximoffs specifically like. GOD theyre bad. wendy has gone from ‘moves things with her mind’ (not wanda’s actual powers but whatevs we’ll get to that bit) to literally being able to destroy an infinity stone. she’s everything mr whedon wants in a female character. and mcu pietro??? a weak bitch. pietro maximoff would die of spite before he sacrificed himself for clint fucking barton

so many of the movies dont line up with one another like PLEASE marvel directors watch each other’s movies. the russos basically turned up at taika watiti’s house and told him to go fuck himself 

or just... hire good directors.... the russos fooled everyone into thinking they were good with cap 2 but what the ever loving fuck was civil war and infinity war

stop with the war shit no one likes superheroes vs superheroes

this is petty and i KNOW movies dont have to follow the comics like. i know that and sometimes its a very good thing, but with marvel they wanna take parts from the comics, sometimes GOOD parts and they wanna fuck it all up and force it to fit into their shitty narrative. like. civil war for example.. had a PURPOSE in comics. it was a genuine grey area and, well written, it could've been a nuanced scenario about how different types of people might have benefited or suffered from it (re: mutants etc). in the mcu, civil war was uuuuuh wendy blew up some people and she used to be a nazi but we’re all gonna defend her because im steve rogers and i do what the fuck i like regardless of literally everything else. 

they based the mcu on the ultimates universe???? TAKE THE GOOD BITS THEN!!!! like take miles morales instead of just giving peter his life and his friends 

get better actors jesus christ. just. better as people would be a start. ms substitute asian johansson and mr Gun Rights pratt. perish

the chris x3 jokes really arent endearing either. some of em have gotta go

please hire someone with real eyes for your costume department!!!!!! say what you like about dc movies, but they all WORK together. their suits have the same tone/materials/overall look. the avengers look like a bunch of people who have never met before 

speaking of, i physically cannot buy the ‘friendship’ the avengers supposedly have. they dont talk!!!!!! there’s too many of them to actually get any solid team development!!! you want me to believe thor even knows hawkeye’s real name??? he doesn't!! and he doesn't give a shit either!!

if you're gonna do a romantic relationship......... fucking stick with it or actually end it. steve/sharon could have been SO GOOD but where has that gone. nat/hulk was hideous and thank god it died but WHERE has it gone. 

not to mention the fact that gamora has literally shown no interest towards peter but she loves him in infinity war somehow

peggy carter is really NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!!! people are still out here shittalking sharon, the LEADING CAP COMICS WOMAN, STEVE’S MAIN AND PRETTY MUCH SOLE LOVE INTEREST, because she's not peggy carter and she doesn't talk about girl power whilst wearing winged eyeliner. steve and peggy kissed once like if thats your standard for a life long relationship then im married to like 8 people i knew when i was 15

the general need marvel has to own all of their properties. homecoming was a good movie, but did we need it??? like really???? people have seen so many spider man movies but no one had seen a black panther or captain marvel movie and they both got shoved back to accommodate the 3rd peter parker ive seen in my lifetime

SPEAKING OF REPETITION.... snarky movies led by white men alongside a woman who is clearly more capable than they are but dont get any recognition for it are the same. the exact fucking same 

CAN POST CREDITS SCENES PLEASE DIE im not sitting around for 20 minutes waiting for something cool like a hint of a new hero only to see steve fucking rogers doing his ironing or some shit. if its not worth it, dont do it maybe 

the colour grading is ugly as sin. if it’s got some over saturated primary colours in it... its a marvel movie 

marvel movies are just.... straight up not funny at this point lmao like im not a 13 year old boy i dont find dick and whore jokes funny try again

‘it’ll kill you’ ‘only if i die’ ‘yes thats what killing you means’ is supposed to be funny and i get that but uuuuuh its just bad dialogue and there are so many lines like that. write a good fucking movie and then MAYBE you won't have to fill scenes with empty conversations to take up the time

fuck the mcu guardians of the galaxy, to put it finely. mcu peter is a dick and his altered back story makes him even more of a dick. drax isn't a dumbass, gamora would rather die than touch peter. mantis is a literal celestial goddess, not some old white dude’s sleep time therapist 

mostly what it comes down to with me though is that marvel literally does not have to make good movies. they can make any old shit and make literally millions of dollars. barely anyone gave a fuck about ant man or doctor strange, and if you didn't read comics, you likely wouldn't have even KNOWN who they were but everyone went to see them because they had marvel on the posters. and thats pretty much marvel’s entire deal. ALL they do is get credit for things they havent done 

oh and fuck vision too