#and moving out of my room rn
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Can a strong masc lesbian come help me move in to my new apartment pls 👉👈
I'll provide emotional support, snacks and kisses a plenty (and probably useless help trying to build the furniture)
Lesbianism alert: men and minors dni
#lesbian#i really just want masc lesbians so baaaad#wlw#i am actually not looking forward to building all these ikea things#too many books to pack up#and moving out of my room rn#sapphic#wlw yearning#masc lesbian#butch lesbian#butch#kaitalksgeneral
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might end up homeless ✌🏻😗
#— yap central#so this is an exaggeration obvi…#the thing is my ex already bought a house#meaning if I choose to move out of this apartment#he has to cancel the contract by December first…#so like a week….#I have to find a place to live I can afford that allows pets within a week that is available from January first#the market is shit rn so that’s fun…#OR I could try and get someone to take the spare room here which is gonna be hard#what sucks the most is how little time I have to figure it all out#sooooo semi-hiatus????#because possibly homeless and broke?
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Do you think my new roommate will think I am cool and popular? ʕ～ꈍᴥꈍʔ～｡*ﾟ+*.✧
#pathetic loser#loser#anime and manga#weebcore#cutecore#kawaiicore#kawaii#nisekoi#sans undertale#sans#so i just moved out and its my first time living alone away from my parents and siblings. im now is a wohnheim. idk how to translate that#that wohnheim is basically for young adults and teenagers learning a certain job rn. And my roommate has to go through my room to reach the#refrigerator and the bathroom. so i am not completly alone but yes. huge step in my life#goblin slayer#gobslay#hatsune miku#vocaloid hatsune#hatsune miku bag#miku bag#miku ita bag#sanrio#kuromi#moving out#living alone
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not an ask, but I saw ur post and relate a lot to it.
anticipatory grief sucks. people will tell you not to think about it, not to let it steal from today, but some days are just so hard. sometimes it feels unavoidable, like it’s some goliath mountain in the distance or even the sky and you can’t not look at it. it’s like you have to keep trying to distract yourself not to think about it, and it’s exhausting, and you’re so fucking scared of the inevitable.
like how does anyone even function? the idea of the world continuing to spin when there’s this terrible, horrible thing that will happen some day is unfathomable but it does, and it’s horrible. Some day will mark the before and the after. nobody can ever be ready for it.
I hope the love you have keeps you strong. wishing you the best.
this is literally it. i know thinking about it Now wont make the actual day it happens any easier. but it's impossible to not think about it, especially since there's no tangible way to preserve memories or feelings or the like forever. i cry easily and get emotional over most anything and everything, which is another layer of difficulty wrt it because I spiral. I want to squeeze out of my body. im not meant for any of it
#skunk mail#Anonymous#ill be in a car with my dad fighting tears thinking about how ill miss it one day and there's no way for my brain to capture the moment and#make a simulation of it. and even then that wouldnt help. ykwim#sometimes i sit in my parents room while my parents and brother are there and i cant stop thinking about when ill see them for the last tim#and how i wish i could full really truly wring every last drop of ''appreciation'' from the moment.#i think about that time isnt linear thing. how everything that has happened or will happen exists on its own#and i think about the cheye experiencing the After tragedy. and i cant handle it. not now or then. i envy the past cheye#even the one of 5 seconds ago. because that was 5 seconds ive lost. 5 seconds closer to events that will#separate my life into Before and After. over and over again#(like you said anon. i think abt that all the time too)#i think this is also why im struggling with the thought of moving out#we all have so little time. dont even get me started on the fear and grief i feel for my own life#not only fearing dying but fearing the lead up where ive lost and cried over much. just me. alone.#ill never see them again. it will never be today again. we'll never be in my parents room like today again. i cant take it.#even if i spend every last second with everybody i still wont be able to take it. i cant believe it#human beings that were all somebody's baby once. tomorrow it will be like they were never here at all. all their memories#go with them. it hurts so bad. i cant take it#i cant even breathe rn ruminating abt it *peace sign emoji*
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teaching myself how to do a rubiks cube purely because a character i like had a sticker of a rubiks cube in his room
#my mom got me a set of 'em for christmas bc. i'd asked for them bc of seeing the sticker in josh's room sdgfhg#(something i noticed while i was cataloguing shit in his room. i've got spreadsheets for both him and zach in progress rn. i just like#those kinds of character details that come out in 'what does this dude keep in his room?' hehe)#got the 2x2 all memorized now. today's task is learning the 3x3. i just did it once but was following a guide very closely#need to actually memorize the moves now#grandpa max is god? i go to church now
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There's nothing like spending your Friday night trying to make sense of the What We Do In The Shadows house floorplan/layout
#sitting on call with my friends rn and going through random episodes#trying to figure out which rooms are where#it took us WAY too long to confirm the location of The Fancy Room#but now I know where the music room and bathroom are#HOWEVER#this also means that I notice inconsistencies in the ways that characters move around the house#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#text post
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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lil hiatus away
#trump winning hit hard#harder than I thought because I didn’t think he’d win#we all met up the next day and had depression strolls#lots of vents and talks and anger#window shopped and actually shopped#looked at expensive guitars and little hamsters find fun in every place we go#we all made food with/for my niece and talked at my table for hours#played among us like old times till 1 am#got emotionally rejuvenated by the ocean#had plans with a friend that fell through so another time maybe or not idc anymore hahah she’s persistent though#I’m kinda over everything!#this 4:30 sunset always gets me bad for a while#on top of heavy world changes too like do that shit in summer#my dads friend Chris is visiting and that always makes me happy#I heard them cracking up watching South Park in his room last night was the cutest shit#reminded me of old times I miss living in Boston that whole era#wish we could have a redo#or even when he lived here with us after#maybe he'll move back this way someday#or go up that way since won’t ever be able to afford a house where I wanna live#or get out of the country all together#hiatus away was nice especially from Instagram and fb they're horrible places right now#unfollowing and unfriending everyone rn idc who u are#and honestly idky I still even have tumblr now I ask myself that a lot#more and more lately#have a good day#and take care of yourselves
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...
#ay. i wish i wasnt such a cry bby. its so annoying#like pls just ignore my tears. i promise im fine. like probably#i did my target orientation today bc my background check went thru and my 1st full days starts tomorrow at 4.30am#and i just get overwhelmed by new situations. plus the humiliation being forced to take an academic break. plus i kept thinking abt how when#i moved to town my mom and i did a lot of my shopping there to fill out my room#itll b fine after a week or so. im just a lil overwhelmed rn. plus i filled out my resume for possibly getting a government job and asked#for recommendations. so it feels more real that i might not be going back to school in the fall and that's also overwhelming#and i have to focus on getting my masters stuff tied together this summer so im gonna have to meet with my old boss probably next week#again. just a lil overwhelmed. ugh. itll b fine#unrelated
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legitimately what the fuck am i doing
#i swear to god if my friend actually checks my tumblr today i am going to kill myself#like i don't want her seeing the shit i'm talking about#ok so that wasn't what this post is about but whatever#i need a better hidey hole in my room#rn all i have is behind some books on my bookshelf#but books gets moved#i wish there was like a hole in the wall or something#maybe i could figure something out with an outlet#like that's prolly dangerous#but idc#should i try body tape binding again#i have like no tape left but i could sneak some from the pantry i'm sure my mums stocked up#hhhh fuck i'm gonna lose my mind#i'm just stream of consciousing this shit now#hey dude (you know who you are) if you saw this NO YOU DIDNT#if you saw any of my previous posts actually#they'll get buried soon whatever#original post#rant#sorry
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I've decided to switch my goals from being on the calendar to being in a notebook because what I was doing was giving myself a sticker for every day that I do my stuff but then I only get one sticker regardless of how much or little I do so now I give myself a sticker for a particular chunk so if I do three chunks on my day off I get three stickers and there has been an immediate increase in my desire to do stuff.
#chit chat#rn i have stickers for a half page of drawing and 20 min of cleaning/organizing/unpacking#because despite the fact that i have lived here for 4 years#my room is still 90% packed and im living on top of all the boxes#so I've been trying to work on unpacking my 900sqft apartment into this 100sqft spare bedroom#while also working full time and writing these long ass stories#and so far I've been managing about 30 min a month lmao#it's a lot of work trying to figure out what you don’t want in your life#when everything you got for your first apartment is sentimental#or practical stuff that you will need again when you move out
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fun little headcanon I have is that after like the second abduction Julian asked Kira to train him on how to fight
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#kira nerys#like im sure he has some combat training just by virtue of being Starfleet#but clearly. he needs something more#and I think he'd ask Kira because shes the fighter thats closest to his size#compared to say Worf#and he knows he'll learn more from her than he would one of the Starfleet security officers#Kira's been fighting since she was a child she'll show him how to throw someone twice his size over his shoulder#which she demonstrates by easily throwing him across the room#its great for both of them#its nice bonding time and also it lets them both let off some steam#but also sometimes its very funny#the first time they properly sparred Kira accidentally broke Julian's nose#and it was a complete accident she threw an elbow and he moved in a way she wasn't expecting and CRACK#Julian thought it was funny meanwhile she wanted to sink into the floor and never emerge#the first time Julian manages to flip Kira he's ECSTATIC#Kira proceeds to sweep his legs out from under him and goes 'thats a lesson in humility' while he's groaning in pain#theyre on my brain rn because I am writing them#I love them and their dynamic that exists in my head
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I understand the instinct to hear news about something happening and go "ok, now how will this impact me", but folks. With the WGA strike. Please don't make it about your favorite show. I'm sorry something that's important to you has been negatively affected! But the wellbeing of writers should absolutely take priority over that. You can be sad about the impact of a strike and still be glad they're fighting for improved conditions.
#wolfy speaks#wga strike#writers guild of america#current events#its just kind of frustrating to go into the wga tag and seeing ppl talk exclusively about their shows being hurt by it#im sorry! i know its sad! but the human writers are more important rn!#that said it is absolutely an instinct to find out how a news thing inpacts you. i do it too. my first question when i learn something is#'how will this affect my day to day life?'#but then i move past that#some of yall are still in the 'prioritizing me' stage and you have to go to 'prioiritizng others' stage#that said if youre a fandom blog and explaining how the strike will likely affect whatever youre talking about you get a bit of leeway#wanting to understand what the impact of the strike will be is not the same as not caring about why theyre striking#sorry i know im rambling in the tags here... i feel like theyre room for nuance here and i dont want to come across otherwise#just. end of story. you should be more concerned with the wellbeing of the writers who are striking#than the wellbeing of your shows#human lives take priority#but you can be concerned for both
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Guys..I made a Purchase
Guy helping me carry it out asked me if I had birds and without thinking I said "No I have bugs" and he was just like "oh"
#wrenfea.exe#gonna raise moths and butterflies in it#dont have room for it rn so its going in my storage unit until i move out#which should hopefully be soon!#i worked really hard on both interview processes and bought it to celebrate my job offers#bugblr
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someone tell me to go outside pls
#ive looked up the place i want to go (fen) and theres parking#it's raining really hard rn but i like walks in the rain#idk ive been on my own in the house for a while. and my two friends came back for 20 minutes this morning so one of them could pack up more#of her stuff (she moved out a couple of weeks ago) and both of them forgot their keys so needed me to let them in#and then the 1 who moved out didnt really speak to me except right before she left when she said something rude about the kitchen#and then tried to backtrack by saying 'i didnt mean that. in fact. i dont even remember what i said!' like just say sorry its not that hard.#id rather you said something rude and then said youre sorry and that its uncalled for than pretending you dont know what you said#10 seconds ago#so i just went up to my room until they left and it sucks because that was like my one opportunity in a week or so to speak to someone#in my own house#thank god i went into the office this week and spoke to people#also my friend messaged and was like 'odd core vibes?' about his partner who said the rude thing and i wish id been like its actually just#rude not odd#but whatever#and ive just been sitting and thinking aboht it for 2 hours instead of leaving the house
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finally got the new desk set up in my room and cleaned out my dresser nd closet (had barely touched anything in there for Literal Years cuz of how much of a mess they were). feels surreal
#we still gotta figure out a new chair situation cuz the one ive been using#is Not Good its this awful office chair my dad had since before i was even born and its the most uncomfortable thing ever#also theres still a lot in my room that needs to be cleaned…….namely everything on top of the dresser XD#nd i gotta sort out a lot of my closet still ive been using it to store all my art n stuff for years its piled up so much stuff#that ive been meaning to get more organized AND scanned since its just. so much theres no real way i could take all of it#whenever i end up moving out.. i want to be able to still look back on it even if its not all physical#i found some goofy stuff while throwing out these old binders frm middle school i might post em#inquisitivewaltz.txt#realizing as im typing this out its a little. silly that this feels like such a big accomplishment#my rooms been fucking disgusting and an absolute mess for years now and im not very good at taking care of. well anything#so little stuff like this feels sorta relieving like. im kind of getting my life together in some sorta way#idk#oh wait also we didnt end up having to move as much as originally expected which im#pretty happy about i was really reluctant abt getting the new desk purely cuz itd completely alter the layout of my room#….which isnt very good rn but i didnt want to have to deal w the new thing i know for a fact what my parents had planned wouldve been worse#also the new desk has shelves so have more room to put shit and itll hopefully be actually more organized instead of#just throwing things onto my dresser and forgetting it even existed in the first place becuz it gets completely buried by everythint else
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