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UHHH okay nobody panic but november happened to us
which means!!! however!! that it is time for the TAZ November Celebration to ride again! but i don't know about you, but things have been crazy for me. so we're going to keep it easy breezy this month while having some fun, and we're gonna enjoy the B.I.T.S.
BOOST, INDULGE, TREASURE, SURVIVE here's the drill! you will have a BITS board! copy this one. then, every day, or alternately set time you spend fully focused, and then have a break before doing something else, you can give yourself a pin in the section you were working towards!
Boost: support another creator by commenting, making a recommendation post about, or doing something else to show another person some love for their excellent work! Indulge: indulge in creativity with something you really, really enjoy. don't worry about a thing, just lose yourself in the joy that got you into fandom creation in the first place. maybe go back to a very favorite trope, or a contrived but delicious au, make a gift for someone you love to pieces, or only do the parts you like, but enjoy it!
Treasure: Spend time appreciating a work you already love. reread a fic that delights you, or reblog all of the art you can find of your favorite character, or something else that makes you feel like a dragon sitting on a pile of favorites. you can even just go back to your favorite episodes of the podcast! Survive: sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. this time there are points for that! Every November i've done for this, something insane has happened, and it's always hard to take time to take care of yourself and not do the fun thing. but no more! if you take an evening to do nothing but eat cheese balls in your bathrobe (or something less fun and more vital to your continuing to live good) because that's where you're at mentally or otherwise, give yourself a pin for surviving! FAQ: q: How many pins can I get? a: As many as you like/can fit/care to! q: What do I use for "pins"? a: any transparent image will work, or you can use something like the editing markup on your phone and add emojis, or draw something... if you need some pngs, check out @treasuregamble! q: how will you know to reblog our posts? a: tag this blog please! @taznovembercelebration q: why this and not just rewards for making things every day of november? a: because it's time to spread the love without terrorizing ourselves in the name of competition! q: do we have to get all the BITS or can i focus all on one area? a: try to get at least one set of BITS if you're going to participate, but it's fully up to you. i'm not your dad! q: can i really have more than one pin in a day? a: yes, but you have to take a proper break between switching gears. If you spend 8 hours in a fugue state writing a fic where a mermaid and a marine biologist go on a roadtrip to defeat a king and sleep in the same bed on the way, it only counts for one pin if you don't take a real break. cause i do care about your well being.
more questions? ask here
otherwise, see you on the dance floor! i can't wait to see all the pins you pick and great things you boost and make and enjoy!
#taz#taz balance#taz b#the adventure zone#taz amnesty#taz ethersea#taz vs dracula#the adventure zone balance#taznc#taz november celebration#JOIN MEEEEEE
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You ever get sad about the amount of mythology and folklore we likely will never know about because it was destroyed/never written down?
#I only comfort myself by hoping there was someone out there whose special interest was documenting and they knew how to write#and maybe we just gotta find that person's work#wolffox speaks#Mythology#Folklore#Feel this mostly for the Celtic and Norse Pantheons#Like most of what we have from those two were documented by Christians#And no offence but they'd be fecking biased especially back then#We dont know what they're telling the truth about#like for the celts they feckin turned half of our gods into saints#Dont know nothin about Saint Brigid I know the GODDESS Brigid.#oh and the snakes that old paddy drove out! That was paganism actually!#Yep we're celebrating a Welsh dude coming over and destroying our culture!#okay i'm gonna stop now cause this will turn into a rant#random thoughts#myths#paganism
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Loving your HC's! Regarding Charles' singing, I vaguely recall that in the comics Jubilee mentioned that he sings Sinatra in the shower. Whether he does it well is up to our imaginations XD TAS Charles can absolutely sing because his first VA (Cedric Smith) was a folk singer in the 1970's. Here's a clip of him singing from Road to Avonlea which he filmed around the same time as TAS: https://youtu.be/qycFlUXYeHw?si=sn1rN2eB_xnVJex8&t=71
if one things for certain, he's gotta be singing LOUD as hell if anyone can hear him in his soundproofed mansion 😭😭😭 three possibilities exist really:
he Somehow thinks hes alone because he's so caught up in singing he can't sense anyone nearby
he's too confident in how soundproofed his house is/how far his shower is from the hallway
xmen be damned he needs his shower concert
and theyre all equally funny and all come with their own sets of implications and i love it. all in all i know he's an orator but DAMN brother's got some pipes ....
AND THE CLIP YOU SENT i love finding out VAs sing omg ...... i fear i'll have to listen to come back tot his every now and then thank you for this cherished gift .....
#charles xavier#professor x#snap chats#giggling and kicking my feet as we speak rn hey. i love charles#I KNEW HE HAD A MUSICAL BONE IN HIS BODY it's only natural. somehow. Dude Trust Me vjfalekjaekLKJEJ#maybe its the filipino in my blood but singing can be something so personal and special. i love it..#showers gotta be his only place of refuge at this point let the man sing !!!!!!!#ok but sinatra specifically is makin me laugh And This Is Only Topically Related#but i just immedately thought of that fuckinnn Toad Sings 'My Way' video cause Shamefully its one of my favorites jvlkejlkae#i love smith's work as chalres like Gen no better voice fitted for him me thinks . in my opinion. it just sounds right ....#is My Way fitting for charles on that note ??? maybe ..... no time to think bout that tho. ... my next class soon and i wanna finish my tea#if you ever find out which comic jubilee says that id LOVE to know. any excuse to add to my ever-increasing collection....
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how do people even find partners. i dont want a bullshit answer, like really
#maybe im intimidating but no one has been interested in me#its just. rough#and i cant force myself to like anyone romantically if i dont feel compatability#i just want to be cared about in an exclusive way that friendship alone cant fix#i dont post abt this often but i got no sleep so yall gotta deal#its um. crushing sometimes#i dont even know if im aro as cope. once i did THC im more emotionallt aware and its. haha#the people around me tell me things that make me feel like im a catch and i feel it myself but NO ONE has advanced#and ive only felt attracted to one person in my life. who was taken ofc#im not sure it wouldve worked out good though anyway since im more emotionally mature#but it was because he expressed genuine care towards me and made me feel good about myself in honest ways i havent heard from anyone#and made me feel important to him#so im really at a loss#and also our conversations flow really smooth and we agree on many things that we find important#are there any extroverts that confidently wear their hearts on the sleeves and try to bring joy that want me#someone sensitive to my needs#my needs of which are actually very very basic#hi
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pinning to the workshop corkboard: you've heard of winston "i'm cassandra" billions clairvoyance concepts for fun & profit, hear also of winston billions sphinx concepts (you must be This understanding of what he means to proceed)
#not a brand new one but the other day i was like have i ever put that to words & post? then i saw two unrelated sphinxposting reminders#winston billions#the riddlerrr sphinx also like yeah yeah winged lion form. kind of a hassle but optional perhaps still b/c yeah that's fun#did have the thought ''what if his pet cat is also secretly what has the winged lion that kills you form lol''#also the thought that whatever Gate / Boundary / [cannot proceed] happens could be Varied as well as Involuntary#would add to the like episodic type possibilities like oops how do we get past this? what's the issue? even winston may not know#meanwhile like Deliberate Obfuscation would only go so far re: the metaphor here being relevant to winston the autistic person#he Has to be understood; on his terms. you gotta work to & actually figure out what he is conveying to you#i suppose also ''or die'' is an option here lol. nightmare scenario for everyone who'd rather steamroll him forever to be sure; but#[you just Can't proceed] applied less lethally than that still affords plenty of You Have To Understand What He Means possibilities#see also: [rian as basically an oc based mostly on pre production hiatus funny little guy status] translating what he means....#just Not Really A Problem shrugmoji (audhd solidarity (rian 5x05 thru 07 oc continues))#yet would hardly imply taylor is a party who wouldn't also usually understand winston easily & accurately (not like 5x07 does either)#plus then complications like do ppl twist Understanders' arms for cheat codes sometimes. try to posit them as hypotheticals lol#in this world where sometimes a coworker is a sphinx or is; in tandem with his cat? well sometimes they're autistic. nonbinary#genderfluid. wear glasses. just another day at the encouragement to crush coworkers factory#anyway something where if i had a zillion detailed thoughts on this it might be other than a brief nocturnal text post but#see also: who says solving a riddle can't be a conversation / the riddlerrr is also trying to figure it out.#like sure i guess i can give clues & hints but i'm not even sure they're useful / not sure what i'm clueing you in to either#clue....like minotaurs out here (clew like the thread/yarn. like is used to find your way through / out of a labyrinth)#anyway e.g. like oh you can't do [xyz] in whatever thwarted way? how can Figuring Out Smthing W/Winston help? maybe he doesn't know either#maybe his cat has materialized huge & Theoretically lethal to thwart smthing. maybe regular size & just swatting at you. who can say#maybe winston is like hm i see that i can fly or kill you more than usual. who else can say. &c. imagine#meanwhile tfw ''okay i genuinely get what you mean'' doesn't guarantee then like. proceeding w/any basic respect beyond that lol#but already more leverage / more effort in that by far & perhaps that ability to just shut ppl out of plenty of [access / do whatever]#when indeed even that leverage had / effort given is considered Too Much#can only be guaranteed basic respect in the winston billions guaranteed basic respect au
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#tag talk#fuck. I might just be a straight woman.#like. I like men. and the more I transition the more I vibe with binary womanhood.#sure I don't like getting shoved into restrictive femininity. but I vibe with womanhood as separate from femininity.#anyway. I might be straight. and In ten years it's very possible that being trans becomes a much less huge part of my life#because it will stop being something that I do and something that I wish for and simply something that I am#yeah yeah whatever hi my name is Reggie and I like men#I just. as much as I don't like certain restrictive gender roles I find myself slotting very comfortably into others#and I realize that my idea of gender and their roles was very much shaped by my female role models growing up#and a lot of the disconnect and distress when growing up was due to not being able to follow the path everyone else did.#all my girl friends were growing up into women and I was stuck on the man track.#and being gay was the closest I could get to being myself#but I'm closer than I've ever been before to being able to live my truth as myself#still not gonna shave my legs unless it's sometime in the future for a very specific event.#I like them fuzzy. they make me feel cool.#I like having some cultural masculinity still. I just don't want to be defined by it#talking about my binary trans experience is always a little weird because I'm aware of how binary I'm describing things#and I get that if my words were used to describe someone else's experience it might end up sounding hella transphobic#but these words are for me. they're my experience. they're my life not someone else's.#and this is how my identity works.#it's like how feminism protects the right of trad wives to be trad wives.#we just gotta recognize that just because one woman wants to be the designated dishwasher not every woman feels that way.#anyway. I might be dating a guy by this time next week. he's cool so far and we kinda got match-made by a mutual friend#we watched Redline tonight and it's hella good#he's really cool but I feel like I've got something to provide and to bring to the relationship. so we're still on peer-level I think.#which is new. usually I'm way ahead of the other person. maybe my fault for fishing in the bad fish barrel#the emotionally damaged and burdened fish barrel.
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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#so there's this girl#and there's this conversation I had where I told Prettyboy about a coworker whose version of polyamory is#'she says she needs me back in Washington but I don't have a job there. I keep telling her to get another boyfriend while I'm out of town#just make sure he's not around when I visit so I don't have to fight anybody'#That tickled me. And the conversation ended with me getting like a third of a hall pass. I gotta call if anything happens.#Call so Prettyboy feels like he's part of my romantic life even when the romance isn't him#Which is the opposite track of the one I was giggling about okay yeah#But like my best friend here is. Super pretty. Ridiculously pretty.#And kind and works hard and takes care of the people she loves. She's always finding ways to help me.#And she's vegan and loves my cooking and that's my love language okay#I wanna make sure she eats I wanna see what happens if she's given full reigns on dominance I want I yearn#And we talk for hours about nothing but it's been weeks since I've been like one third available and I dunno how to tell her#Or if I should or if I'd be just another person in her life who wants her for what she can do for them#I think my intentions are good but it's lonely. The long distance and the seasonal work and the isolated town up in the mountains.#And maybe I just want to be held.#I know she's grey ace and a lot of the romantic relationships she's had in the past were very manipulative and not what she really wanted#Maybe that's what's pulling me in so hard like am I just insecure and want to prove myself yet again#I've always been drawn to flaky people#I wanna be the one person they show up for#This is the thing that I actually need to process in therapy and can't just lsd the anxiety away#Though that worked for most things#Take hallucinagens. Once.#I'm such a hugger but only worked up the courage to hug her a few days ago.#We've been talking (lowercase t) for months.#And I know she has her own long distance unicorn relationship back in Kentucky. I'm hoping the subject will just surface again.#And then I can say hey#I think you're really pretty
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me @ me: what's a-- (squints) ...tumblr?
#* ─── ooc. ( hate'll paralyse your mind. gotta see the other side. it costs you nothing to be kind. )#no idk if i'm a living person or not.#i have a fun lil journey to make in redundancy and finding a new job for november#but like--#hi this is me; not dead?? maybe??#i think when i hit my birthday in oct... i might just change my age to /old/. u know?#i wanna be here but like-- life??? work??? depresso espresso?? u feel?#no control; we die like wei wuxian xoxo
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Uh homestuck review type thingy before i go to bed.
reading homestuck has definitely been a trip. having to deal with and figure out how to work with some signs of old internet age, despite using the collection. trying to download some kind of app only for it to work worse than the main one. having to go to the original site as some of the more special links didn't work on the unofficial collection. having to sync up music. all these and probably more I had to deal with to read homestuck. definitely got me more invested ill tell you that much! liked a decent chunk of the humor, disliked another decent chunk of it as well, am neutral on other jokes n' such. some of the stuff early on doesn't age well but it gets better the farther you get in. the 4th wall stuff and all the non main story stuff swung a pendulum (hekekkek) between very fun and enjoyable to grading and annoying. I liked most of the characters though a few I wish got more screentime and interactions and a few I wish were a bit less president in some parts. the "shipping" stuff was inherently confusing and at times annoying for me, nothing stable, often felt like some pairings, both friend and relation ship, could be in the forefront in one part but then completely dissipate over a timeskip. though i will admit i did get somewhat interested at around the end when things were starting to get more stable. (favorite pairings friendship or relationship go as follows: terezi and dave. some of my favorite characters with a great dynamic, really wish they got to interact more, even after the offscreen hook up and break up. > Rose and Kanaya. great solid pairing to the end! also could have used a bit more time for development, but overall better off than most. they work really well as a dynamic duo. > John and Vriska. eh I could take or leave the relationship but I did like their friendship and wish their interactions didn't end so abruptly as they did) Speaking of confusing things, time travel. I feel like that and the fact that this is a early to mid 2010s webcomic should clue you in to how confusing this aspect can be at times.
Overall thoughts: I liked quite a bit of it, though I also disliked a decent few chunks of it. unlike most things I cant quite say I'm neutral on homestuck. not actively positive, yet not actively negative. but I still have some feelings on the thing, I just cant really make them out as the line between "thing I like enough to start putting the characters in situations" and "thank goodness I'm finally done with this piece of crap". Would I recommend reading it, even if you get it working better than I can? no, not at all. Did I enjoy reading it? other than a few issues, Yes! it was fun to read and experience, a real bit of ancient internet history and time capsule from right around the time i was first exploring the internet as a wee unknowing child of roughly 7-13. despite not going around that area much at the time, it still felt a bit nostalgic reading an mspaint internet comic from that era. an enjoyable romp threw a time before the internet was as part of daily life as it is today, while not quite being from back from the dawn of the thing. Reading homestuck definitely had me in awe with hindsight at times with finding out how deep its roots were in the internet. I will never roam the internet the same way again. but i think I've rattled on about homestuck being stuck in that sweet spot of old internet for too long so ill try and give my summarizing words here without going off on side rambles for too long, its like 2:30 am and i should probably try and get my sleep schedule back after having it messed up for like a week. (thank you eternally obnoxious BRAIN. and to a lesser extent the new world of warcraft expansion and homestuck cliffhangers)
Summary of sorts: I wouldn't call homestuck "good" but I wouldn't call it "bad" either. It is confusing, annoying and doesn't work half the time but when it does it oozes with charm, humorous bits that can crack open the core of anyone who likes older memes and internet humor and great music that gets stuck in playlists but not in your head. (in a good way) I would not recommend reading it as it takes time, effort and patience for a variety of things as well as a high tolerance for a bunch of stuff I'm getting to tired to mention. but i am glad I experienced it and I doubt you would too if you did dropkick my and many others warnings into a ditch and read the accursed thing. heck your on tumblr, you probably already accustomed to humor like that in homestuck! I don't know how to finish this so here's a funny skeleton gif to tide yall over as I go spellcheck everything and go write the tags.
#i swear after reading homestuck its like i understand how tumblr works a wee bit better. still filled with dread as im still finding deeper>#roots in things#homestuck definitely helped me out with not viewing my drawings or “art” as inherently bad! mspaint stigma is withering away as we speak!#though fears of accidental mimicry have exploded since reading it. so there's the other edge of the sword#saving the epilogue thing for later though. i got list items to check off after all! so maybe after all that lol#just noticed that i brought up points i already said at the end. wow im tired. GOOD! I NEED TO BE TIRED! PERSONAL PROBLEM OF LATE!#MAN I WISH SLEEP MEDS WORKED HALF THE TIME ON ME#oh yeah gotta tag this nonsense. brb gotta check the format of my other review type things.#review#sort of kinda just my thoughts#homestuck#ok should probably go to bed now ok byeeee
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now I'm actually invested in this idea. maybe I'll write a full length fic someday idk... for now I have short hcs
parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | bad ending
summary: crowley decides to "give away" yuu to the highest "donation" for financial reasons type of post: headcanons characters: all nrc students additional info: can be read as platonic or romantic, except malleus is pretty romantic, second person pov, yuu is gender neutral, maybe a little ooc I wrote this as soon as I got up
crowley has had his fair share of "what the fuck" moments from you but this was really taking the cake
he acts so... casual about it?
swaggers into ramshackle one morning and says times are tough and your personal expenses are straining the budget so he's decided to "put you in someone else's care"
"The screening process will be vigorous to make sure you end up in good hands!" like you're a cat or something "Your expenses will be covered and you'll have somewhere to go during break!"
okay great. pretty obvious you have no say in this, so you don't even argue. what's the worst that could happen?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel find you the next day to say they're pooling their money to buy you
"To what?"
Epel shrugs. "Oh, well Crowley said we need to offer a donation to prove we're capable of supporting you..."
(you think that if not for the laws of this land you would have slaughtered that old fart)
Jack goes on a really long tirade about how shady and underhanded this is, making sure to reaffirm that he believes you should be free to make your own choices
"So you'll let me go once you get me?"
"Uhhh..."
Ace thinks once they buy you you'll have no choice but to do all of his homework for him
Deuce says that's not really how it works- and even if he tried, Riddle would kill him
(they've already gone over this twice before finding you)
Epel happily volunteers to take you home with him over breaks, probably the only positive in this mess
even if he thinks the whole thing is kind of funny
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
incapable of keeping his mouth shut, Ace accidentally spills the plan to Riddle, who is understandably aghast
you can't just give away a person under your care like a toy!
of all the irresponsible things...
of course, he'll have to put up his offer, too
purely for your sake! with a nicer room and a brand new copy of the dorm rules, maybe you'll stop getting yourself into trouble
he's got some family money (doctors, naturally) and considers this a worthwhile purchase, for his sanity and yours
of course, Trey and Cater overhear and may or may not be pooling their own cash for a chance, too
going behind Riddle's back on this is a risky venture, but hey, someone's gotta be on your side, here, right?
I mean, between a bunch of sixteen year old boys, the housewarden, and them, who would you choose?
actually don't answer that
...not that it's much of a secret, anyway. Cater's already got their gofundme equivalent link in bio
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona initially plans to have you become a live-in lackey like Ruggie
but then he really starts thinking- and, hey, the possibilities are endless, right?
for one, you'd make a really good pillow
he might have to kick Grim out for your full attention, but you could learn to live with that
and malleus would hate it
...that's reason enough for him
plus, he's got money to burn, so why not?
either way, he sets his bid at a reasonable (maybe too confident) price and sits back to watch the chaos unfold as everyone scrambles for a piece of the pie
news travels fast around school, after all
then Ruggie finds out that you could dethrone him as Leona's #2 and is understandably a little annoyed
that's his cushy post-grad job gig, thank you! he's worked hard for that!
besides, why should Leona get to hoard you? the guy can barely take care of himself!
so, Ruggie ends up outsourcing to a few dozen classmates for the necessary funds at a steep I-owe-you price
he's gonna be eating nothing but dandelions for a while...
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
now, Azul is annoyed
once the news goes school-wide, it's all anyone can talk about
talk about good marketing...
why didn't he think of such a brilliant scam? he could have negotiated with Crowley to have a café brand deal tie-in!
of course, he's already set his bid, with Jade and Floyd offering to pitch in as necessary
it's a risky investment, sure, but a worthwhile one
Azul tells everyone that with the prefect's "obvious" popularity, having them at the café a few nights a week would drive sales through the roof
though that's really just what he says to shirk suspicion
a likely excuse coming from him, though, really, it would just be nice having you around
and if not for his own affections, Floyd's incessant begging and Jade's subtly manipulative comments about "how nice" it would be having a new face around would be enough for him to cave eventually
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
"Kalim, no," is the first thing that Jamil says
"I strongly advise against this. It's another one of Crowley's silly scams and you could end up a target bec- are you even listening?"
hint: he is not
the second Kalim found out that he could get to take in his favorite magicless student like one of his treasures, he was all over it
(AKA infinite sleepovers)
and for what? a little optional donation to prove he's got the funds? he's got cash to spare!
he's already got your new room in Scarabia set up before he even puts his bid in
right next to his of course :)
and despite what Jamil insists, he himself might be working behind the curtain just a little to ensure he's the one who ends up with you
after all, why should Kalim get everything? this might be a valuable learning opportunity for him
You don't always get what you want
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
as much as Epel tries to keep the rest of his dorm from finding out, it's inevitable
he's actually a little surprised that the news didn't get to Vil sooner
with Rook around campus, surely he must have said something...
when Vil does find out, though, he just sighs
oh, of course. what next, will everyone meet each other in the arena and fight to the death over the prefect?
of all the silly, immature things...
oh? what's that? he's bidding anyway? of course he is, silly potato. he can't have some unwashed miscreant making you sleep on polyester bedding
(really, he's the only person on campus worthy of your time)
Rook has also been mysteriously absent from the dorm lately, though his initials on a poem and a strangely large sum of money end up in the donation pile
but really, that could be anyone... Rook would never dare betray Vil again, right?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ortho finds out directly from the other first years and sends Idia the details immediately
with a little note of encouragement, of course: "could be excellent for improving your social skills!"
Idia understandably freaks out
"WTF!!!! nooo way! this is a person, not a chatbot we're talking about here! I can barely keep virtual pets alive!!!!"
(liar)
(...but this is still different)
the conversation ends there, but semi-anonymous bid from someone named "gloomurai" gets cashapp'd directly to crowley
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
everyone in the room immediately turns to Malleus
"For the record, I think it's wrong to be bargaining over a human being," Silver says first. "But if anyone could handle it with grace, it's you."
Lilia laughs. "Oh, you're just saying that because you like the prefect so much!"
"Father, you're the one who likes the prefect so much,"
"Oh, right! carry on then. After all, I'm sure we could share,"
Sebek is the only one relatively against the idea, though Lilia luckily manages to get him to lower his voice after his third speech about how you aren't good enough for his liege
Malleus is rather quiet through the whole evening, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with any of the points made
he disappears for a short while, and when he comes back he seems a little more confident
though, of course, he goes to you first
seeing him at Ramshackle in the middle of the night is a familiar and welcoming sight after all of the chaos of your week
and he's in a great mood!
"Child of man! I've come with news," he says. "I have heard of your predicament and have come up with a solution!"
you immediately sulk. "Oh, no. You know I think this whole thing is terrible, right?"
"Yes, Silver mentioned you might not like the idea of being bought and sold like a trinket. But worry not, I do not plan on paying for you in money,"
you pause, at a loss for words, and then tentatively continue. "You're not...?"
"Of course not. What a primitive idea, I was baffled to hear it myself. My proposal will be more traditional: a modest sum of treasure, and a generous amount of livestock and the finest crop Briar Valley can offer,"
certainly he's not this naive, you think
"You really think Crowley is going to accept that over money? I'm pretty sure Kalim just bid away an entire country's worth,"
he laughs. "You speak as if this is some kind of business deal! I'm quite confident that my dowry will be best,"
huh. that was a strange way of putting it
but then again, you still didn't really understand how things work here, so you go along with it
and you allow yourself to relax. he seems confident in his offer, and he doesn't even see you as some kind of prize to win!
"Oh, well, alright. Thanks! I'm glad you're on it,"
he smiles. "Rest assured, child of man, you're in good hands. My dowry will far outshine the others, and the wedding will be even better,"
"I was honestly getting a little nervous for a momen- wait- wedding!?"
#twst x reader#shall I tag everyone even though this is pretty short... idk might as well#ace trappola x reader#deuce spade x reader#jack howl x reader#epel felmier x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#trey clover x reader#cater diamond x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#floyd leech x reader#jade leech x reader#kalim al asim x reader#jamil viper x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#rook hunt x reader#idia shroud x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#malleus draconia x reader#idk if I should tag silver and sebek they're barely in it 😔#that's enough tags anyway
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imagine cregan and y/n breaking the bed one night just because of his sheer strength and muscle whilst pounding her, ik the conversation with the winterfell wood crafter would be awks as hell afterwards whilst asking for it to be repaired 😇😇
IM HAVING A PROPHETIC VISION, ANON.
At this point, Cregan and his boo thang are just going to have to become familiar with the man. There is no other option, because your choices are either to have this embarrassing conversation a multitude of times with multiple woodcrafters or just one. Because if y'all think this is a one-time thing, you are terribly mistaken.
Cregan is a very passionate person in bed, regardless if he's on top or not. He wants to make sure the two of you are satiated—that does mean the bed will snap like a twig under a boot i dont make the rules i just work here. Personally, I find the actual deliverance of the bedframe to be the most mortifying. Firstly, that big ass broken bed has to be dismantled and removed, if it's not fixable, which takes manpower, and then the new one brought into the Great Keep and put together. Otherwise, the woodcrafter is going to have to make a house call and show up with his tools and planks, walking toward your marital chambers which is embarrassing too :)
ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. (thoughts ver.)
NSFW stuff under the cut. 18+ only. I'm not responsible for the content you choose to consume. ty.
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
That familiar groan under his weight should've been the first warning sign, but Cregan was too distracted to notice. He was lapping at her pretty cunt, tongue delving as deep as he could go and as thorough as he could be without the motions being too unsteady. Alright maybe he did notice initially, but the thought was very quickly shoved to the back of his mind—especially when his pretty wife was trying to rock herself onto his nose, letting out the most quiet of whimpers muffled by their sheets. His ears were focused on her and her only.
With her pearl rubbing against his bridge and his cock feeling so strained in his trousers, no one could really blame him for forgetting about the delicate state of the bed in an instant. Last time they’d gotten particularly frantic in their lovemaking, there had been a low snap somewhere beneath the mattress, a taunt that he was probably too hefty to be moving so much. But winter was coming, a man’s gotta eat…in more ways than one.
By the time he’d recalled they should begin to take it easy on the bed, he was already balls deep behind her, hands gripping the flesh of her ass like a lifeline. He was suffocating in the best way, cock nestled inside, fogging his brain with nothing but instinct. And then she started begging. By then, well, he decided they needed a new bed anyway—six moons wasn’t too bad. Lasted longer than the previous replacement. Three harsh, unrelenting spanks bloom red on her backside as she squeezes around him, sending his blood pumping to the beat of an imaginary war drum. It would be a miracle from the Gods if she wasn’t pregnant by mid-summer. Cregan just couldn’t help himself.
Rutting against her like a man starved, the right side of the bed almost completely collapses, caving in and nearly throwing him off balance. His wife gasped, pleasure momentarily halted as she looked back at him. “Again? Seriously? I told you to write to him last time, did you?” The answer was no, no he did not. “It might have…slipped…my mind.” He murmured, trying to ignore the throbbing in his full balls. They had a silent conversation of glares and a sheepish grin. Then she concedes. “...We might as well finish then. I doubt it can get any worse.”
It could, actually. And it did. He came hard some twenty minutes later, pounding their hips together with a steady desperation. The dip of the broken side was a little annoying, but manageable. Without the support, the right beams of the canopy end up falling right down. No one was harmed, of course. It was only drapes. Cregan found it almost comical but his wife did not. It was going to be a long letter.
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
#dingdonganswers#hotd#house of the dragon#cregan stark imagine#cregan stark x reader#cregan stark#cregan x reader#cregan stark x female reader#cregan stark fanfic#cregan stark smut
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YAY, YOU'RE BACK TO WRITING FOR ARCANE. How would the arcane characters react (mainly vi, ekko, and jinx because i would marry, marry, and marry them all!!) to a reader who is sooo affectionate and finds every last thing they do so cute they get cuteness aggression and just jump at them like a cuddle bug often? thank you so much!!
Coming right up!
Arcane x Cuddle Bug! Reader
Characters: Powder/Jinx, Violet "Vi", Ekko, Caitlyn Kiramman, Viktor, Jayce Talis, Mel Medarda, Sevika and Ran.
Warning: None really. SFW.
A/N: Am I the only one who wants to snuggle into Caitlyn? Ugh, I love her so much.
Powder/Jinx
“Oh! Hey there, sugar! You want to cuddle? Don’t have to ask me twice! I’ll cuddle you so much that you get tired of me! But you’d never get tired of me, right?”
Jinx is a super clingy person, so for you to be as clingy as her it’s like you two are a match made in heaven. There’s barely any time that passes when you two are not touching each other and she lives for your cuddles. It doesn’t matter if you hug her out of nowhere or she sees you about to embrace her, she is stopping everything she is doing and pulling you into the tightest of hugs.
Most of the time if she isn’t causing mayhem in the streets of Zaun or busy with her inventions, she will spend her time just holding you so close and showering your face with the cutest but most childish of kisses. She doesn’t care if it’s in private or public, she will make it known that you two can’t keep your hands off each other. You are her cuddlebug and she is yours and that won’t ever change.
Violet “Vi”
“Woah there, cuddle bug! You’re gonna make me screw up my workout… Oh forget it. How can I say no to you?”
Because Violet is absolutely touch starved, she will never decline your cuddles, even if you take her by surprise a few times with how you hug her so suddenly. She finds it adorable how you fangirl around her and find everything she does to be awesome or cute. Granted she does wish you’d call her hot or sexy, but knows that isn’t really in tune with your personality.
Regardless, she tries to make sure you know how adorable you are, always telling you while you two are cuddled up together how lucky she is to have you and how you are so adorable. Even when you visit her at work, she’ll try to drop everything and have you run into her arms to pick you up. And every time she’s got time off work or is coming back from a job, she’s automatically looking for you so she could hook you in her arms and never let go.
Ekko
“Y/N, haha! You know we gotta keep this private, babe- The kids are gonna pounce on us any second now!”
Does Ekko love hugging you? Absolutely. The warmth of your arms around his body makes him stop everything he’s doing and just hug you while calling you his firelight or firefly. Unless he’s calling you an angel or lovebug, which never fails to make Scar either look at you two in awe or roll their eyes in mock annoyance. Unfortunately, Ekko does try his best to make sure you two don’t get super affectionate around the children, especially when it comes to hugs.
Why? Because as soon as you hug him, the children find this as an invitation to gather around him and have him nearly die under a cuteness overload of a group hug. It’s nice as a once in a while occurrence, but all the time? Maybe not. Outside of the reactions you two garnish and even the teasing of you being the firelight king/queen, Ekko lives for your cuddlebug energy, wanting to be in your arms after a long day’s work. It’s always the best way to end the night…
Caitlyn Kiramman
“And that’s why if I am able to block this end of the road, I’ll- Oh!... Oh come here, sweetheart. If you wanted to cuddle so badly, you could’ve asked.”
Caitlyn has always been someone who was more subtle with her love, pulling you into brief kisses, cupping your cheek and holding you by your waist. She usually leaves the more out there gestures like hugging and cuddling for you to initiate. But when you do? It might be harder for you to get her off of you instead of the other way around. It can be at work, in her home, outside of work or at an event. As soon as she feels your arms wrap around her slender body, she’s stopping for a second to hold you back and kiss your forehead.
She will continue working if you interrupt her during a briefing or in the middle of cracking a case, but the entire time, she will have at least one arm around your body and make sure you are comfortable. Her comrades tease her about it and she’ll scowl a bit, but she doesn’t care. As far as she can tell, she’s extremely lucky to have you as a lover.
Viktor
“Ah! Oh, it is just you, zolotse. Remember, you have to warn me of these cute little hugs of yours.”
At first, Viktor wasn’t used to your physical affection and how you were in awe of everything he did. He actually thought you were mocking him at first or being silly. But after a while, especially when the two of you became a couple, he grew accustomed to your affections. He does get a bit startled when you hug him out of nowhere and he does have moments where you cheering him on does make him a bit bashful, but he enjoys your sweet gestures regardless.
He does find it difficult to be as outgoing with his love for you as you are with him, but he does try his best to make you realize he loves you, especially in the form of quality time and calling you by sweet pet names bound to make you blush. Viktor has a tendency to pass out from working too hard and waking up in your arms. And though he’d never say it out loud, you know based on the way he snuggles into you, he adores it and adores you.
Jayce Talis
“I know what you want and I want it too- So bring it in! I’ve waited all day to be in your arms!”
Because Jayce is always out at work, it’s kind of hard for you two to be around one another all the time. That’s why when he does reunite with you after hours or you two can be together on days off, he’s spending the majority of his free time with you or wrapped around you. He sort of craves for your praise and compliments as much as he craves your cuddles.
Many would compare the councilman to a needy dog wanting his owner’s undivided attention and he definitely gets that through you. Though he may try to act all cool or play coy, everyone knows that you mean so much to him and that he becomes putty around you. Even if they don’t, you’re not afraid to say it aloud. Just make sure Jayce isn’t around or that man will become redder than a beet.
Mel Medarda
“What’s wrong?... I know that look. You want to- Ah! Well looks like you beat me to the punch, darling. How about we take this to the bed, hmm?”
Mel wasn’t really given physical affection when she was younger. She was more someone who preferred verbal affection with words of affirmation. So when it came to you and how affectionate you are, she found herself adapting and loving physical affection as much as telling you how much she loved you.
Your cuddles and sweet gestures are her personal heaven she loves returning to after a long day’s work, especially if she can spend an evening with you platonically in your shared bed. In your arms, she feels she can air out anything that’s bothering her or interests her, especially when you admit how cute it is when she does. Though this kind of intimate affection is delegated to private quarters, anyone can know from the way Mel speaks of you outside of home and at events that you mean so much to her.
Sevika
“Yeah! So then I was like screw you, I can do whatever- Hold on. Uh, Y/N. I thought we agreed to not do this at work?”
Sevika is considered the Right Hand of Zaun, a woman who is feared if not respected by her peers. And she’d like to keep it that way. Which means that while you two are at work, she prefers it if you don’t cuddle her around co-workers and give them something to tease her about. You two can only flirt and kiss and even then, it has to be sexy…
But alone, when both of you are away from the public eye, Sevika is at your beck and call wishing for nothing else but to hear your sweet praises and melt into your arms and touch. Expect her to call you the cutest thing ever and tease you on occasion, but afterwards she’s basically a big needy cat, or as she prefers to be called, a panther. It’s moments like these where you can really consider yourself lucky to see a raw side of Sevika. And it was only preserved for you.
If you got any requests for Arcane or X-Men '97, send them my way!
Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, stay hydrated and have a good day! <3
#x reader#x female reader#x you#x male reader#arcane x reader#fluff headcanons#headcanons#jinx x reader#jinx x y/n#jinx x gender neutral reader#vi x you#vi x reader#vi x y/n#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn x y/n#ekko x reader#sevika x reader#sevika x you#sevika x y/n#viktor x you#viktor x oc#viktor x reader#viktor x y/n#jayce x reader#mel x reader#requests are open#requests are welcome#requests are still open btw
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[Ghost crashed into a car before he parked ours] - Mafia!TF141*F!Reader
Summary: You sigh when it's the fifth time someone fights in your poor tea shop this month. You just open it two months ago, in an area ruled by mafia called '141'. Maybe you should find their boss and give them money or what to stop the bullshit keeps happening in your shop. (well, here they come)
Mafia!TF141*F!Reader
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
To your surprise, Kyle, or Gaz – the model-like man introduced himself as – is such a considerate person with a nice sense of humor, at least compared to Soap or Ghost.
That day you trapped yourself in the predicament with John, he seemed to sense your embarrassment, hence he just handed his boss a backup shirt without making fun of you like his boss, so you have a lot of time for the man.
Like now, he’s sitting and sharing a plate of biscuits with you, enjoying a tranquil tea time accompanied by the pleasant smell of Earl Grey.
“You don’t have jobs to do today?” You raise your cup and ask, before taking another sip and watch Kyle finish his bite and reply.
“Ghost’s in charge of dealing with the enemy today.”
“Ehmm, okay” You refuse to figure out what ‘dealing’ means “What about others?"
"I killed mine yesterday.”
Okay, you truly don’t mean this, but let’s just end this topic and move on. With a few biscuits down to your stomach, brainwashing yourself to forget what you heard seconds before with the sweetness, and buying you some time to come up with a better subject, you open your mouth again.
“Every time one of you comes here, you just scare all my customers away.”
“Isn’t that better?”
“I need customers to earn money, Kyle.”
“You have us to pay you.” He points at the badge pasted on your wall. Of course, you’re not the one who put it on, you rather read the military smut out in front of all British than do it, but if you try to take it off, Soap will put a new one back, so in the end you just compromised and let him claim your shop publicly.
“This place isn’t only served for you guys.”
“It isn’t?”
Is it possible to refute when Kyle flashes you a smile that you almost get blind and start wondering if he can replace himself as your lights and save you the electricity bill? Maybe counting this as one of Kyle’s humor will be better than explaining. All required is to ignore the evil glints in his majestic brown eyes while he questions you.
But even though Kyle said he doesn’t have work today, he doesn’t stay long after he finishes his tea.
“Gotta head back to help the boss.” He grins as he turns the knob and waves you goodbye.
What’s weird is that after Kyle leaves your shop, customers start flooding back. Many of them are familiars of the shop, as you’re sure they’re 141’s lackeys too.
You remember them see you as one of the henchmen… Although they're not as afraid as when they first visit the shop because of your hospitable attitude, you can still sense the attentiveness in their demeanor.
No matter what, you’re going to figure out what’s actually happening.
“Hey, you.” You walk to one of the minions' sides. “Mind to tell me about why you guys always disappear when Gaz or Ghost or others come here?”
“We…” The guy’s eyes avert, shooting his friend a glance for help “It’s just a coincidence.”
“Coincidence?” Raising your eyebrow, you lower your voice to make it menacing
“It really is, ma’am, nothing to bother with the Sirs.”
“Show me, they must have sent some messages to inform you guys, right? Let me take a look, or I will…” You will what? Actually, you have no idea what you can do to these guys that can lift you up and throw you into a trash bin like a shot “Wait a second.”
Quickly running back to your kitchen, you come back with your most intimidating weapon –
“Or I will hit you with my pan!” You wiggle your arm as a threat.
“…”
They don’t look scared of the pan for a tiny bit. Wait, you should take your kitchen knife instead, who the fuck will pick a pan? You idiot.
yet to your satisfaction, they still fish out their phone and let you have it, and you don’t waste any time as you open the texting app.
‘Announcement: Boss will arrive at the tea shop in 10 minutes, clear the shop immediately.’
So they really are scaring your customers off. Give the phone back to the poor guy with pity in your eyes, you bring him a few more biscuits.
You’re strolling through the aisles in the shop. You’re out of flour and sugar, and every Wednesday the groceries are on sale. You never miss these chances to build up savings.
What a nice shopping trip. Quiet, leisure, just enjoying your own time, picking up different brands of cereal and calculating which is cheaper like a competent broken adult. Things never go wrong when you’re alone.
“Hey lass!”
Well, you’re kidding, things go south too quickly. The voice’s too familiar. It must be a hallucination.
“Lass? Bonnie?”
Don’t look back, keep walking. It’s not the detergent man with a stupid chicken crest yelling at you.
“HEY!” A hand pats you on your shoulder and makes you jump. Sighing internally and prey there won’t be any trouble caused by the man, you turn around and face him.
“Oh, Soap, Hi.” Shit, looks like you just can’t have a break from these men. “I didn’t hear you.”
“Even though the nan outside tells me te shut the fok up?”
“Yes.” you shamelessly admit, pro tip to confront people without shame “Why are you here by the way, Soap?”
“Oh, we’re in need of some things, so Ghost pulled off during our way home.”
You take a glimpse at his basket. A rope, a roll of duct tape, and a knife.
They must be going on a picnic. Yes, don’t overthink. The rope is for securing the tent, the duct tape is for concealing the holes on it. Knife? they surely will need it when cutting apples.
The image of Ghost slaughtering… peeling apple you mean, with Soap and Gaz playing red light green light and John napping in the tent is so vivid in your mind that you need to restrain the laugh with a clear of your throat before you grunt in affirmation and restart your steps.
With Soap depriving you of your last respite, you choose to grab what you need and head to the counter. All you want is to get home, have a nice shower, and lie on the bed reading the new fic you found last night.
“Do ye need help?” He watches you shove the products in your bag, but 5 huge cartons of milk are too heavy for your weak limbs, you can feel your arms trembling under your attempt.
“It’s okay, my car’s near the door. I can carry this myself.” Again, cheekiness works every time. You don’t care about strangers staring at you struggling with the bag and exit the supermarket in a crab way, as long as it can bring you back into peace faster, and you almost tear up when you see your car, the white of it is like the lighthouse in the atramentous night.
Hey, but you don’t remember your car has a goddamn huge dent at its boot.
“Oh yeah, forgot to tell ye. Ghost crashed into a car before he parked ours, and he’s contemplating whether he should kidnap the driver when they come back and make them shut up, or just kill them.” Soap looks at you stopping in despair as he recognizes what you’re looking at. “So it’s your car aye?”
You don’t answer him, you just watch Ghost materialize from the Shadow beside your car and give you a nod.
Fuck your life.
a/n: ty for reading :D have a nice day/night!
Car -1, Peaceful night -1
tag list :D - @blackhawkfanatic @nexthyperfix @danielle143 @goodbyegh0st @reaperxxxxzz @kaoyamamegami @imyprice @cod-z @poppingaround @live-for-fluff @masterstr0ke @mall0ww
#cod imagine#cod x reader#cod x you#ghost x reader#ghost x you#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#soap x reader#soap x you#john soap mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish x you#kyle gaz garrick x you#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x reader#gaz x you#price x reader#price x you#john price x reader#john price x you#tf141 x reader#tf 141 x reader#tf141 x you#mafia!tf141
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Friends with benefits
Two long time friends Trent and Brett. A classic story. Met in kindergarten and have been friends since. Grew up together. Spent their holidays together. Graduated together. But then stopped seeing each other as often. Why? Because adult life ain't easy. Brett had to find a job while Trent got into college, graduated and on top of that became a fitness influencer. Brett started his Twitch account and became a gamer, which he had time for, cause how he was constantly doing a different job, depending on what he could find. But both of them always took some time off for a beer with their buddy.
This is Trent
Although he doesn't appear like that, he is a 24 year old male with young looks
On the other hand Brett is also young, but his looks are a bit more mature. Maybe it's because of all the hair
This is Brett
So hairy.
Normal guys, right? Well something was about to change very soon
Friday, August 2nd, 5 PM
Brett:"Hey, dude. Wanna grab a beer later tonight?"
Trent:"Yeah, sure. I am down. Is 8:30 ok? I gotta finish a video"
Brett:"Oh yeah, totally fine. See you then"
Friday, August 2nd, sports bar, 8:33 PM
At the bar Brett waits patiently, only his leg is slightly shaking. Trent comes in through the door. It's kinda funny, cause Trent used to be really insecure and not confident. Now he looks basically like a god. But still, he has this cute shy looking guy whose face doesnt match his body and the fact that he's 24. Brett was kinds jealous, most of the people that didn't know him always thought he was older because of his looks. Trent had the opposite problem. Always had to show ID whenever he went. Yet Brett was probably more jealous about his life in general. He finished school, took great care of his body, which now could help him hook up with anyone he would set his mind to.
Brett:"Hey, maaaan. How are you doing?"
Trent:"Heyyy. Yeah good. You know, single influencer life, haha"
Brett:"The ladies must be driving you crazy"
Trent:"If only it were just ladies. Haha. You should see the messages some of these gay dudes keep sending me. It's insane"
Brett:"You tell me. They always send random shits to my chats while playing. But it's mostly dumb kids."
Trent:"I think we should find you a date for tonight"
Brett:"Nahhh, fuck it. I'm not in the mood. I just wanna chat with my bro."
After a few beers
Brett:"Shut up, you did not!"
Trent:"I swear. She came on to me without a word."
Brett:"So what did you do?"
Trent:"You think I put up a fight? Haha"
Brett:"Maaaan. I want this stuff to happen to me to. That's so hot"
Trent:"Come with me to the gym then, I bet more chicks woukd be into you if you would gain some muscles"
Brett:"You calling me fat?"
Trent:"No, just saying that all that body hair would be good to match with a good body. You're just a walking gorilla right now"
Brett:"Oh shut up twink! Haha"
They finished their drinks, said their goodbyes and went home.
Brett felt amazing. He really needed to get a beer with his best friend. He came back home, sat behind his computer and searched Dark web. He already knew what he was looking for. He wanted to mess with Trent. Just a another one of his pranks. All he needed was Trent's personal item. He found the body swapping website. He read the rules and conditions and filled out his and Trents name. The only next step he had to follow was to go to sleep. And so he did. Only taking off his shirt in the process and collapsing on the bed. Not even brushing his teeth
Brett woke up feeling better than ever. He was used to have a hangover by now, but today he felt great. He opened his eyes and immediately noticed the different sheets. He looked around. This is Trent's place.
Brett:"Trent?" he said, but he heard Trent's voice.
He turned around to get up
His body. He has a different body
Brett:"Holy shit. It worked" he said amused. He looked down at his now soft chest. He got up
Brett:"Oh wow. getting up is so different when you have these hard muscles"
He went to the nearest mirror. And there he was. Trent in his glory. Brett was so happy right now. His prank worked. He is now inside of his best friends body. And the pranks probably won't stop there. Now he can mess with him all he wants. But not now.
He looked from top to bottom how tall and slim his body was. "Almost no hair anywhere. Lucky guy"
He took Trent's phone and snapped a photo to send it to Trent in his body. He knew it would take a while for Trent to wake up so he proceeded in his exploration.
He felt his curly hair. "How come you don't even have widow's peak? So unfair" He traced his jawline, now with tiny baby hair that Brett wouldn't even call a beard. But his sight was now caught by those nice Calvin Klein's. He looked around as if there was someone in the room with him who would judge him. He pulled on the waistband
Brett:"Just as I thought. Also shaved" he grabbed his new dick, that was getting harder and harder by the second, when suddenly his phone received a notification. he let go of his dick
It was Trent. Brett:"Haha, this is gonna be good"
There was a photo of Brett's body, observing his hairy armpits in shock
Trent in Brett's body:"Hey. Got any idea why I am a gorilla now? And why that gorilla looks exactly like you?"
Brett:"Surpriseee. And fuck you"
Trent:"So this is your doing?"
Brett:"Yeah, I kinda wanted to prank you somehow for all the pranks and the gorilla jokes. Joke's on you ape man"
Trent:"Fuck you. So this is reversible?"
Brett:"Sure, man. No worries. We'll meet tonight at the bar again and chat how our day went?"
Trent:"I don't know how to feel about this, bro"
Brett:"Just try enjoying being another person"
Trent:"Do you realise there are some no go things including intimate stuff and hygiene?"
Brett:"Sure I do. I'm already holding your dick in YOUR hands right now"
Trent:"Dude! Not cool. I meant more stuff like shitting etc. But yeah, this too."
Brett:"I gotta say Trent. You have a very nice dick"
Trent:"I'll comment on your size when I find it in the bushes I guess. Have you never heard of trimming?"
Brett:"Keeping it natural, baby face"
Trent:"Fine, let's see each other tonight at 8, ok?"
Brett:"Enjoyyy" Hangs up
Trent:"Jesus, this guy. I hope he doesn't fuck up something or someone"
Starts observing himself. "I must say, It feels good to look like a mature man and not a teenager. All of this hair. And the moustache is hot too. I could never grow this thing"
Trent looked down and had a mischievous thought. "Well, Brett. Since you have already held my dick, I think it's time to step it up. Gonna see if you can last longer than I do" Trent said with a smile and whipped out his new hard hairy dick
Saturday August the 3rd, bar, 8:04 PM
Brett is sitting amused in the bar, eating chips on the table and drinking beer. Winking at the ladies looking at his direction.
A waitress came by his table:"Want another?"
Brett noticed his old incoming body:"Sure, and another one for my friend who just arrived. Thank you, sweetheart" he said as his flirtatious look almost seduced the local waitress
Trent:"You need to stop!"
Brett:"What? I was just flirting"
Trent:"Not that. Stop eating those chips. God knows how many calories you ate already"
Brett:"So you don't mind that I was flirting with her?"
Trent:"Nah, I don't care. I jerked off your dick for like the fifth time half an hour ago"
Brett:"What? You beast. I would have never expected that. Cool. You have a really good dick to jerk off too. I didn't expect to shoot so far tho. Made a bit of a mess"
A couple off bikers started eavesdropping to their conversation and turning heads
Trent:"You might want to quiet down, or we're gonna get beaten up for mistakenly speaking like gay guys"
Brett:"But you gotta admit that my body is not so bad, right? All the hair and everything. You like it"
Trent:"It's not bad, but I prefer being in my own body. I'm used to it."
Brett:"Ok, I'll pretend I didn't hear the part before about masturbation. But what do you say? We didn't even have enough time to see what the life is like in our new bodies. It's only been a day"
Trent:"And your point is?"
Brett:"Let's stay swapped for a while. We can swap back anytime we want. It's reversible. We know almost everything about each other, so pretending to be the other one will be easy. You'll just teach me your workout routine, I'll show you... what games to play and how to set up a livestream and we'll figure it out"
Trent:"Livestream? That's all you got?"
Brett:"Come on, man. We got nothing to loose"
Trent:"I don't know man. It's gonna be complicated. I agreed to leave for a few weeks to work at one of our gym branches in another city. And now you'll be the one that has to go. I think now is not the best time"
Brett:"So? I can update you about everything. We can chat all the time. We can call. And I got nothing to do. Actually, you might need to find some job for those few weeks. And there's never gonna be a better time then now. We're single, ready to mingle. So let's enjoy that month"
Trent:"You wanna stay swapped the whole tíme I'm gone?"
Brett:"Yeah, I'll be a fitness instructor/viral star and you'll ne enjoying my chill life"
Trent:"Chill life. Man, you won't even recognise your life when we'll swap back"
Brett:"So you agree?"
Trent:"Yeah, what the hell. I'll be a gorilla for a month"
Brett:"Deal. Now, let's see if you'll have a better game in finding a hookup then me"
Sunday, August 4th
Brett sends a text to Trent:"Why do I feel like my body still hasn't gone through puberty?"
Trent:"Piss off. Yours looks like it went trough yours several times."
Brett:"Nah, gotta be honest. I'm really enjoying this lean figure and hairless body"
Trent:"And my dick..."
Brett:"Haha, yeah and your dick. How are you doing in my body?"
Trent:"Feels pretty weird to be so hairy, but gotta admit it's a nice change. Like... feeling so manly"
Brett:"Yeah, but tip for that hairy stomach. Don't cum on it. It's really irritating to get cum from it"
Trent:"Never had the issue in my body, so yeah. Thanks for the tip"
Brett:"No problem. I had to try it out in yours haha"
Trent:"Doesn't this feel kinda gay to you? All the dick and jerk off talk. Appreciating each other's bodies"
Brett:"Nah. We're exploring, man. Who knows if we ever get that chance. Gotta enjoy it"
Wednesday August 7th
Trent:"How are you settling in?"
Brett:"Yeah. Pretty great. I just jerked off to some porn"
Trent:"Ew. I mean the appartement"
Brett:"Whooops. Sorry. Right. Yeah it's nice. Very clean. Very modern"
Trent:"It's yours only for a month so don't destroy anything there"
Brett:"It's kinda poetic right. New appartement, new body, new job"
Trent:"I don't see anything poetic about me playing games in front of a camera"
Brett;"Dude you have to. My fans are gonna wonder what happened to me"
Trent:"Fine. I'll log in tonight. By the way. Dude your feet smell so much when you work out."
Brett:"Work out? You took my body to the gym?
Trent:"Yeah. I had to show off these bushes somewhere, right?"
Brett:"Ahhh thanks man. Looking good"
Trent:"And I think oke girl was checking you... me out"
Brett:"If you can score than go for it. I'm actually late for a date. Or... how do you call it if you're just gonna have dinner and fuck?"
Trent:"Standard hook up man. Please be safe. Wear a condom. And watch our foe those carbs, man."
Brett:"Sure thing, bye"
Monday, August 12 th
Brett:"Dude do you like ever have to shave your face?"
Trent:"Sure I do. I just don't have to do it so often as you. Btw can I please shave off this moustache?"
Brett:"Absolutely not. You'll learn to love it and appreciate it. Just like I will your baby face"
Saturday, August 17th
Brett:"I have to admit I really love showing off your muscles man. I have been doing it constantly at every occassion. So many people turn their heads to take a peak"
Trent:"Yeah I get it. It helps with the confidence a bit"
Brett:"A bit? I feel like I can beat any fucker whk crosses me"
Trent:"Brett, please don't beat anyone in my body"
Brett:"Just kidding, man. How have you been"
Trent:"Well I tried being consistent with the gym. I think your body is doing pretty well"
Brett:"Daaaamn bro. I look good. You really do take care of my body really well"
Trent:"I was actually thinking I could offer this for money. Swapping with people, doing their routines and then swap back. But that's a talk for another time after we swap back"
Brett:"Yeha, sure. Cool idea. Anyway... how was the streaming?"
Trent:"I don't know, man. I think they are desperste for me to say your catchphrases, but they are so cringe."
Brett:"Nah, you have to do that. That's how you get into Tiktoks and become viral"
Trent:"Honestly. I can't wait to get back to my body and to my life back. So we will swap on September 2nd?
Brett:"Yeah. I suppose. Depends how the work will be etc. Anyway I gotta go man. Talk soon"
Trent to himself:"It feels like he's avoiding me with amswering more and more. Trent rubbed his hairy chest, recalling his sweet soft pecs that he missed.
Thursday, August 22nd
Trent:"Hey, man. How is it going?"
Friday, August 23rd
Trent:"Hey. I just wanna know if you're ok. I just wanna talk about the reversal."
Saturday:"please call me back as soon as possible"
Sunday, August 25th
Brett:"I'm ok"
Trent:"What the hell happened?"
Brett:"Nothing I just felt like I needed a break from phone and that stuff"
Trent:"Brett you didn't answer the phone for 4 days"
Brett:"Ok, I was avoiding you, cause I kinda fucked up and was afraid to tell you"
Trent:'What did you do? Is my body ok?"
Brett:"Yeah your body is unharmed. Nothing that bad. We just had a party in the appartement. Broke the TV and... I had unprotected sex with one girl. She didn't know if she was pregnant or not. So I was waiting. And congrats. You're not gonna be a dad"
Trent:"Brett..."
Brett:"I know. I'm so sorry. Won't happen again. Promise. I just got drunk once and it led to this. I'll be good now"
Trent:"Please, don't do anything anymore. I want to switch back"
Brett:"Nah man. We still gotta week to finish. You said until September 2nd."
Trent:"I didn't know you'd do something like this"
Brett:"Please Trent. I'm begging you. Just that one week"
Trent:"Fine. But don't do anything else!"
Sunday, September 1st
Brett:"Hey. Are you packed yet?"
Trent:"Hey. Not really. I planned on packing tommorow. You can come and help if you got time"
Brett:"Sure. I'll come by"
Monday, September 2nd
Trent arrives to the appartement. Brett is on the couch playing video games
The TV is new and there is a PlayStation on the table
Trent:"You didn't tell me you got back into gaming and that you bought all this."
Brett:"Yeha, I missed it. I thought to myself that you'd like it too. So I bought it. By the way. You should see how the fans dig it"
Trent:"Fans? You're live streaming in my body?"
Brett:"Yeah. The gamers are so into it when I'm flexing in the spare time. I even got a viral Tiktok already!"
Trent:"I think we should swap back, Brett. My life is out of your control now."
Brett:"I'm just using all the goods, man. You don't like my body anymore?"
Trent:"Stop changing the subject. I want to swap back"
Brett:"Ok... but on one condition"
Trent:"You want money?"
Brett;"Nah I want to have sex with my body. I want to have sex with you."
Trent:"You have lost your mind"
Brett:"Oh come on. Admit it, that you thought about it. Who gets the chance to fuck their body? To watch their body in the most animalistic moments from somebody else eyes?" Brett flexes his biceps to let Brett watch
Trent:"Brett..."
Brett stands up and goes towards Trent
Brett:"You know you want to kids thus face. To suck this hard dick" he says holding tightly his hardening bulge
Trent:"I... I do. I want to suck my dick"
Brett:"Atta boy"
They begin making out. The fast movements heading towards the bedroom could be described as chaotic, but for them it was a dance of passion. Brett was ripping his old clothes from his old body was all over his body, kissing his neck. Sucking each part of his skin
The kissed even more
Brett began to be more dominant. He gripped Trent's now receding hairline and pushed him down to suck his dick. Trent was choking. But did his best to swallow most of the shaft he now had. He had his dick in his mouth. He couldn't believe it. He is straight and he is sure of that. But this is absolutely different
Brett took his old body by the neck, choking him. "Say you love being in my body"
Trent:"Brett I can't breathe"
Brett:"Fine, let's do this the hard way"
He turned him around. Trent now on all fours. He knew what was coming, but he wasn't ready
Brett spit in his hand and spread it all over the head od his dick. Ready to penetrate his old hairy hole
Trent:"Brett wait... I... Ahhhhhhhh". Trent screamed in pain
Brett:"Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm just so horny. I love your body, Trent. I love every inch od it. Admit you like mine"
Trent:"Brett, please slow down"
Brett:"Naaah, you'll get used to it in a sex"
Trent:"Please, get lube or something"
Brett spit again to where his dick was penetrating Trent's ass. Brett:"Should do it"
Trent was still in pain, but now a new feeling was making him feel better. The pain was now... pleasant? He wanted to feel more. With every thrust from Brett. He felt like shitting himself and cumming at the same time
Brett:"Admit it. Admit you love being in my body" he sped up. Thrusting painfully.
Trent:"Yeah.... yes..."
Brett:"Louder"
Trent:"I do... I love your body. I love being you"
Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm gonna cum. Turn around. I want to cum on your chest"
Trent turned around. He could feel cum leaking from his dick. And now he saw his old face like he never did before. Brett was so into it. His face was full of lust, rage and mischief.
Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm cumming!"
The cum shot all over Trent. Not only on his chest, but also on his mouth and face
Trent watched in awe what just happened.
Brett:"Whew. That was a ride wasn't it? First gay sex. Am I right?"
Trent:"Brett... I?"
Brett:"Oh sorry. I have to catch my breath. You look so funny with my cum all over you. Haha. By the way. I'm glad you love your new body. You get to keep it"
Trent:"Brett, you said we would swap"
Brett:"Yeah I did. That's true. But after this little 'cum over your face' and 'dick in your ass' we made it permanent"
Trent watched in shock as his old body was still standing on top of him. Breathing rapidly and laughing.
Several months later
Hi my name is Brett. Welcome to my only fans channel. If you got any hairy request, hit me up
Brett in Trent's body:"Well this is just pathetic. Man, I knew you'd crumble. But this just seems you lost your mind"
Trent's massive colleague came next to him:"Hey, bro. What are you looking at?"
Brett:"Just looking how one of my friends threw away their life, kinda sad. But whatever. Their life, not mine"
Friend:"Hey, wanna grab a beer later this evening?"
Brett scanned his friend from top to bottom and smiled:"Sure thing. Be there at eight"
Brett thought about switching it up a little. That body would be amazing. But then he turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. And flexed
Brett:"Nah. I'm Trent. And I'm keeping this body"
A request from messages (another one who waited for a LONG time, sorry guys) for @swappwas
Hope you like it :)
P.S. written late at night on a phone with a very irritating autocorrect, so please excuse the mistakes
#friends body swap#body swapping#body swap#body switch#body switching#m2m body swap#straight to gay#Straight body swap
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James Potter or tasm!peter parker fluff or comfort?? I dont mind whatever you write ill love 🙏🙏
Thanks for requesting :)
cw: implied past abuse
tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words
Peter’s having a rough week. These things always seem to happen to him. He’s got a big presentation at work on Friday, by which time the project he’s been underfunded and understaffed for has to be finished. His Aunt May has been busy with work, too, so either you or Peter is at her place most nights trying to help out, except she seems to think when it’s Peter it’s familial responsibility but when it’s you it's an unfair burden, so it’s mostly been Peter. There’s also an impressively organized cell of criminals he’s been trying to investigate before they blow up a bank or something. So of course, he’s sleep deprived to boot.
And while you know the rough edge of frustration in his voice isn’t meant for you, hearing it makes your skin tighten nonetheless.
“How does a person run out of salt?” Peter stalks through the front door and straight into the kitchen. “Or maybe the better question is, why does it take going to three bodegas to find one with salt in stock?”
He’s soaked from the rain, and you feel guilty for being all cozied up on the couch while he’s been running around the city. Maybe it’s irrational, but you feel sort of like you should have been stressed out and cold all night, too. In solidarity.
“May didn’t have salt?” you guess as Peter opens the fridge, stooping low to peer inside.
“You should see her pantry, babe. It’s like everything either expired at the turn of the century or got bugs in it. Hey, did you make anything for dinner?”
“No.” You hesitate. “You told me you wanted to eat at May’s, so I had the leftovers from last night.”
“Shit.” He closes the fridge, resting his forehead on the door. “You’re right. I totally forgot, I only made enough for her.”
“I’ll make something now.” You stand. Peter gives you a look that conveys both apology and gratitude as you join him in your small kitchen. “You feel like pasta?”
“Thank you,” he says, kissing the top of your head lightly.
“Course,” you murmur. Really, it feels like the least you can do. “Would you mind chopping up some basil?”
“For my own dinner?” Peter teases. The levity in his voice is obviously forced, and the air between you heavies as he realizes you’ve heard it too.
You almost don’t want to ask, but you do want to be a supportive girlfriend. You can lend him a compassionate ear. “How was work today?”
He sighs, grabbing the cutting board from a cabinet near your feet and shutting the door with perhaps a tad too much force.
“It was…ahh.” He scrubs a hand through his hair, stooping again into the white fridge light to find the basil. It casts dark shadows underneath his eyes. “You’ve gotta be sick of hearing about this.”
“It’s okay. Unless you don’t feel like talking about it.”
“No, it’s just, how do they expect us to stick to their tight schedule when half of my lab is being pulled away to other projects all the time?” Peter’s knife slices through the basil, hitting the cutting board with a sharp thunk. “Today, we were down one intern who caught the stomach flu, and it set us way back. One intern shouldn’t be that crucial to a big project like this!”
You hum, ignoring the way the back of your neck prickles. The tension emanating from Peter is completely valid, your reaction a bothersome, purposeless souvenir from an old life. You find yourself staring into the pot of water and waiting for it to boil.
“And it’s not like it’s anyone’s fault, but all the rest of us are working extra hours to try and get this done in time.”
Small bubbles in the bottom of the pot, rising tentatively to the surface. Peter’s knife thunks a quickening rhythm on the cutting board.
“If they’d given us the money we asked for, we could have hired more people, been working with better equipment, but instead—” The water starts to rumble, steam warming your face. It’s thick in your throat. “—it’s like we don’t even work for a top-notch lab. Like, do they think we really believe they don’t have any resources to spare?”
Peter’s voice is rising, irritation sharpening his words. You reach to turn down the stove when big bubbles reach the surface, splattering hot onto your wrist. You ignore the sting.
“My boss keeps talking about how important this presentation is,” Peter goes on, opening the cabinet next to your head and reaching inside, “but if it were really important, he’d have—” He slams the cabinet door.
You both freeze.
To anyone else, it would look like nothing—the way your expression stays perfectly still, your muscles stiffening just slightly, the invisible pause in your heartbeat. But Peter knows you.
“Sorry.” He sounds as breathless as you feel. “I’m sorry. You okay?”
“Mhm.” Despite your best intentions, your voice comes out pitchy. You can’t make yourself move in a way that feels natural, so you stay not moving at all. Steam wafting warm up onto your face.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Peter says, tone softer than you’ve heard it in days. “I shouldn’t have—I didn’t mean to yell.” The roiling pot has calmed to a gurgle. You can see him swallow in your peripheral vision. “Can you look at me?”
You take in what you hope is a subtle breath, turning to your boyfriend with a wan smile. “Sorry,” you manage. “I don’t know why I did that.”
“It’s okay,” he says, brows bunched in the middle. Brown eyes like a puppy’s.
He shifts his arms, a question, and you step into them. You do it more for him than for you, but the second Peter’s arms wrap around your back the last of the tension shudders out of you. You hug him back, rubbing between his shoulder blades reassuringly.
“I scared you?” he asks, still in that soft voice like he’s afraid of startling you. It’s not really a question. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to get so mad.”
“You’re allowed to be mad,” you argue weakly. There’s an embarrassing blockage in your throat. “It’s not your fault if I freak out, you should still be allowed to vent.”
“No, but I know how you are.” Peter squeezes your shoulders. “I can vent without slamming things. It’s not nice.”
You don’t have much of an argument for that. Still, “You really shouldn’t be the one comforting me right now,” you point out.
A light hum. “Says who? I’m feeling a lot better already.” His hand climbs up to cup the back of your neck, his face turning down so his lips rest on your head. “Should’a just gone straight for the hug when I got home. Might have saved us both a lot of ranting.”
You push your face into his sweatshirt, mindless of its dampness. He smells like rainwater. You don’t know how you could ever have thought, even for a second, that someone like this could be capable of hurting you.
“I’ll make a note of that,” you murmur.
“Yeah, please do,” Peter teases, pressing a kiss to your head. He pulls away and sets two still-chilled hands on your face. “Are you really okay?” he asks sincerely. “I know how scared you get, sweetheart. I’m so sorry I did that to you.”
“You didn’t mean to,” you tell him, “and it wouldn’t be your fault anyways. I’m really okay.”
Your boyfriend nods, but he still looks troubled. “Another hug for good measure?”
“For you or for me?”
A corner of his mouth kicks up. “Does it matter?”
It doesn’t really.
#tasm peter parker#tasm spiderman#tasm!peter parker#tasm!spiderman#tasm!peter parker x reader#tasm!peter parker x fem!reader#tasm!peter parker x y/n#tasm!peter parker x you#tasm!peter parker x self insert#tasm!peter parker fanfiction#tasm!peter parker fanfic#tasm!peter parker hurt/comfort#tasm!peter parker angst#tasm!peter parker imagine#tasm!peter parker scenario#tasm!peter parker blurb#tasm!peter parker drabble#tasm!peter parker one shot#tasm!peter parker oneshot#tasm#tasmania#the amazing spider man#the amazing spiderman fandom#the amazing spiderman fanfiction#the amazing spiderman#tasm x reader#tw past abuse#cw past abuse
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