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silver-tongued-bby · 3 years ago

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Pairing: Dark!Dom!Loki x Sub!fem!Reader

Warnings: (where do I start...) NSFW, 18+!!!, this is a dark Loki fic, hence it explores dark themes including major character death (loki series), mentions of violence, kidnapping and dub con, dominant/submissive dynamic, master/sub dynamic, dry humping, dirty talk, degradation (LOTS!), cockwarming, free use, edging, bondage, spit play, and rough sex. If any of the themes mentioned above upset you in any way, please do not interact!

Words: 3,026

Summary: After succeeding He Who Remains as the ruler of the timeline, Loki can’t help but indulge. Loki (2021) spoilers ahead!

Author's Note: Reposting cause I messed up the tags in the original post! Okay so this is dirty. Like really freaking dirty- so dirty I was afraid to post it here. I owe it all to a weekend spent reading dom/sub posts, the latest episode of Marvel's What If?, a few episodes of Community (mostly for the title), and not to mention the gif below.

gif via lokihiddleston

I hope you enjoy- please let me know what you think (likes, reblogs and comments are much appreciated)!

...

“Tony. The weapon’s test next week got cancelled. Sounds like they want that latest tech Hammer’s pushing.��

“I don’t get it, Pepper. How could Justin have thought that up on his own?” Tony leant back in his seat, rubbing a hand against his chin. “The guy’s tech is trash, then suddenly he’s offering a targeting system that’s at least ten years more advanced than ours? Something’s going on.”

“I don’t doubt it. But I know it’s not ours.” Pepper handed Tony a tablet, the schematics on display. “There’s not much we can do.”

Tony sighed, not one to happily lose out on a cool billion.

“Maybe it’s a sign- maybe we should focus our efforts elsewhere.” Pepper bit her lip, praying Tony would listen for once.

“You may be right. After Obadiah’s arrest earlier this year…” Tony trailed off, remembering the two CIA officers that came to inform him of his father’s friend’s plans after they’d raided his house the night before. “And now this,” he motioned to the schematics, “maybe it is time to change course. Maybe we could look into clean energy. That was Howard’s plan all along.”

At the edge of time Loki sat back in the quilted leather of his seat and smiled, closing the portal with a flick of his wrist. His little worker bees at the TVA had done their job well.

He took a sip of wine and closed his eyes, content with the new timeline he was constructing. Still leading his past self down the path to his current position, though he made the journey far more palatable.

His thoughts drifted back to that time, him and Sylvie finding their way through the castle, only to come face-to-face with He Who Remains. After his little speech, Sylvie went straight for his head, just as Loki had expected her to. And as Loki pierced her chest with his blade and the light faded from her eyes, he felt nothing, just as he had expected to.

It’d all gone quickly after that, controlling the TVA to manipulate time and his version of the main timeline, quickly ridding himself of Mobius, Ravonna and He Who Remains once it was reasonable.

Loki sighed, his mind weary from his work. His eyes drifted over to you, running up your bare legs to the hem of the shift he allowed you to don. The rich caramel colour of the silk was sheer against your skin, barely obscuring the features of your body. Your head rested on the armrest of the couch as you watched him, your eyes flickering back to the pages of the book he gave you earlier. Your eyelashes fluttered as you blinked at the novel in your hand, he’d obviously caught you staring.

He raised an eyebrow at you and cleared his throat.

Your gaze snapped back to him immediately, your eyes widening as he beckoned to you with his free hand. You swallowed, sitting upright and setting the book on the couch, your bare feet padding softly against the stone floor as you approached.

He placed the goblet on his desk then motioned to it, and you poured him more wine from the bottle nearby. You chanced a look up at his face, your heart beating wildly as you did so. His eyes were fixed on the pages before him, and you were about to go back to the safety of the couch when he patted his leg.

You looked at him briefly, his focus still on the pages, now in his hand, before you climbed atop his lap to face him. You settled a leg on either side of him, the silk of your shift riding up as you gingerly lowered your hips, your bare heat pressing against him. You trembled slightly at the contact.

“My, my. Wet already?” His voice drawled by your ear, sending a shiver through you. You kept your eyes on him, ready to look away once he turned his gaze on you though he was still looking at the memo in his hand, the TVA logo printed neatly at the top.

“Nothing to say? No apologies while your needy little cunt ruins the leather of my trousers?”

Your heart raced. Was he angry? “I-I’m sorry, Master.”

“You’re sorry about what?” His tone was ice cold.

You gulped. “I’m sorry my wet, needy little cunt soiled your trousers.”

“You’d better be. Such a desperate slut, have you been wet all day?”

“Yes Master.”

“And did you touch yourself today? Is that why you’re dripping?”

“No Master! I wouldn’t dare.”

“Good.” He drank a sip of the wine, still reviewing his documents. He was half-hard, but kept reading. “Why don’t you be a good whore and grind that pretty cunt against my cock?”

“Thank you Master.” You said, eagerly rubbing yourself against his hardening length.

Loki thought back to when he picked you up, taken you from your timeline on Midgard. You had this look in your eye- a combination of awe, fear, and defiance. He’d seen to the capture of Midgard personally, aiding his former self overcome what remained of the Avengers and Thanos. He found you in Stuttgart. You were the only one who didn’t run, standing your ground and watching with a fascinated fury. His former self didn’t take notice. But he did. And oh, how he took pleasure in breaking you down and reforming you into the perfect little servant.

He smirked to himself at the whimpers you were making, pulling him from his reverie. He’d trained you so well- he was fully erect now.

He shifted his eyes to you, his expression passive as he leant back. You were a sight to behold- body moving fervently against him, the light bouncing of your body with your movements.

“Feel good, does it?”

You nodded, dazed. “Yes Master.”

“Why don’t you put that dripping hole to good use and keep my cock warm? Do you think you could handle it without cumming?”

“Thank you Master! I promise I won’t cum without your permission,” your eyes lit up and you got to work unlacing his trousers before slipping your hand in. Feeling his warm length against your skin made you whimper quietly in anticipation. You brought your eyes back up to his as you angled him against your slit and slowly lowered yourself over him. You felt a bloom of warmth flow up from between your legs, your body happy to be filled once more.

Loki went on to the next memo on his desk, hiding his smirk at the sounds of your laboured breath, you were desperately trying not to cum from simply holding him inside of you. He felt you twitch a little around him. “You know, if you cum without permission I could always lock you in that time loop again. Where you just keep cumming and cumming until you’re a mindless little fuck toy, too sensitive to be played with.”

You felt your cunt twitch around him again at the memory but quickly got yourself under control, consciously relaxing your muscles as you curled up against his chest. The leather of his light armour was cool against your skin. You could feel your slick gathering at the base of your Master’s cock.

“There’s my good little whore.” He smoothed his fingers against your head. Returning to his work, he carefully read each memo, signing off on them one by one with the mark of the Timekeepers.

Once he finished, he pulled you from his chest, his eyes going to your breasts, easily visible beneath the silk then to your face. “You were able to control that insatiable cunt this time. But I can feel you dripping all around me.”

He leant forward, his face beside yours. “Tell me, pet. Shall I use you now? Use your tight little hole to make myself cum?” His lips ghosted against the shell of your ear. He was surrounded by your scent.

You squirmed, your cunt pulling him in. “Please, please use me Master. All of my holes belong to you.”

He chuckled. “So desperate for my cock. Remember, you bratty little slut, your cum belongs to me as well.”

“Yes Master.”

He held you against him as he transported the two of you to his bed, holding your positions. “Take this off,” he nodded to the silk still covering your breasts, “and show me just how much you want me to use you.”

You felt your muscles clench as he spoke. Licking your lips you tugged at the ties on the side of your shift, the fabric delicately falling away from you. You caught his dark stare and had to still yourself for a moment, his expression alone almost sending you towards an orgasm. You took a deep breath then steadied yourself with one hand on his shoulder and began moving your hips against him, angling yourself just the way he liked.

Your breath picked up in speed and he raised an eyebrow in warning. You held the pace, and kept your incoming orgasm at bay. That was, until he pressed a thumb to your clit. You cried out at the sensation and stopped your movements to hold back your pleasure, your eyes lowered.

“Did I tell you to stop?”

“No-no Master. I’m sorry, I just-“

“No excuses.” He cut you off with a pinch to your clit. “Did you think I couldn’t feel your insatiable quim gripping me just then? I know when you are about to cum. But you may not,” he gave your ass a hard slap, “without permission.”

Your chest was heaving. “I’m sorry Master.”

Loki smoothed his hand over your ass, enjoying how the heated skin felt against his palm. He gripped your jaw, forcing you to look into his hard eyes. “You can’t control yourself, can you?”

You shook your head no, silently pleading with him.

“Such a greedy whore.” He threw you off his lap, angling you with the motion so you landed on your hands and knees, the bed soft beneath you.

You whimpered at the loss of him within you. You could hear his boots against the polished rock of the floor as he paced at the end of the bed.

Loki bit his thumb, smirking as he admired his prize. You looked deliciously enticing as you submitted to him in your position. He could just make out the gentle whimpers escaping your lips now and then as he paced. He wanted to make you wait, long enough that you’d beg. His cock twitched at the memory of the first time you did so, tears staining your cheeks from the hours of edging.

“Please,” your voice was barely a whisper.

He closed his eyes, grinning. You could barely bide a second without begging him to fill you. Such progress. He chose to keep silent, the only sound coming from him were the echoes of his footsteps. He waited for you to try again.

“Please, Master. Please use me, please fill me with your big cock. Please let me cum as you take your pleasure from my body.” You could feel your wet dripping down your thigh as your hips bucked backwards, your body taking over.

Stepping back to you, Loki smoothed a hand over the skin of your ass, spreading you slightly. “Good Pet. Let’s make sure you’re wet enough to handle me using you.” Bending, he spat against your heat, the saliva collecting against your already slick folds.

You felt your eyes roll back in your head at the sensation, at being treated like nothing more than a piece of meat to be used by your Master. Forcing yourself to keep still, you moaned as he rubbed the tip of his cock against your folds, driving every coherent thought from your brain.

After a few strokes up and down your heat, Loki thrust in, fully seating himself within you. He chuckled at your cry, and bent over you to grasp the back of your neck, pressing your face into the mattress while he rutted into you. After a few moments he pulled your head up slightly and you gasped for air. He angled your face to the side before pressing down once more, your breath in time with his thrusts.

He loved the way you felt around him. He’d known from the first time he’d fucked you that he wouldn’t give you up, at least not easily. You were astoundingly tight, no matter how many times, or from how many angles he took you. You’d only grow tighter as the blood flowed to that perfect little cunt.

He was pulled from his thoughts with your loud moans, the sounds of wet skin against skin filling the room.

“Master, I-“ you let out a strangled cry as he angled his hips up, and he smiled to himself as he kept hitting the spot within you, unrelenting.

You shuddered, the pleasure so close to being overwhelming. “Master-may-I-please-cum?” You shouted, your words stringing together.

“Hmm. You are being such a good little toy.” He felt your hips buck back against his and he smirked, enjoying the effect his words had on you. “Though I am curious to see how far I can push you…” He trailed off, enjoying your panicked whimpers.

“Albeit,” he leant to speak directly in your ear, “since you are such a needy whore I’ll let you cum in the next five seconds, or not at all.”

You swallowed hard, the tendons in your neck flexing against your Master’s fingers. “Yes Master, thank you-“

Your words were cut off when he thrust to angle himself just right, hitting your G-spot. Then his movements stilled and he held himself deep within you. You started to tremble, your heart racing.

“One.”

You blinked, willing yourself to cum- you were so close. If only he’d just move against you, even an inch-

“Two.”

You knew he’d punish you if you touched yourself to cum, thinking back on the times he’d left you a whimpering mess, your cunt raw. You felt yourself twitch around him at the memory, the way he’d used you so completely, refusing to let you cum.

“Three.”

Though after he’d let you rest and recover, he came back to you. He tied you up, and quickly brought you to the brink of an orgasm, then pushed you into the depths of pleasure. You came so hard and so much you passed out. Your cunt was pulsing to the beat of your heart as you recalled the feeling, the words he’d whispered to you when you came for him.

“Four.”

You could remember him calling you a dirty slut- his dirty slut as you rode out your pleasure. And with that memory, and one final twitch of your cunt around his cock, you came. You screamed out for your Master, thanking him.

Loki’s eyebrows shot up when he felt you come undone around him, your dripping pussy gripping his length, as if you could possibly take him deeper while you screamed your thanks. His moment of surprise was quickly overtaken by pride at how far he’d pushed you and how he clearly owned you, mind, body and soul.

He bent back over you, moving his grip to your shoulders and he pulled you up, resting your back against his chest. You were boneless, your arms loosely against your sides as he firmly held you against him, his hands kneading your breasts as he pounded into you.

Your head was against his shoulder as he fucked you, your eyes dazed as you looked up at him. He really was beautiful, you thought as your eyes traced along his strong jaw, up to his dark brow. His usually cool eyes were dark as they took in your body. They fell to your face and he raised an eyebrow, a small smirk playing at his lips.

“It’s so cute how brainless you get when I use you, pet.”

You nodded, your mouth open to accommodate your quickened breath.

“You love it, don’t you? When I fuck you like the toy you are, only using you to make me cum?”

You nodded again, whimpering when he pinched your nipple.

“Such a good little whore for me,” he stuffed two fingers into your mouth, his thumb pressing up against your jaw. You swirled your tongue around his digits, eagerly suckling against them.

After a few thrusts Loki felt his balls twitch and he came, his cock as far within you as he could get it. He felt your walls fluttering around him as he spilled inside of you, feeling the combined fluids leaking out of you and onto him. You were twitching against him, your body rigid as you rode out your orgasm.

He pulled his fingers from your mouth and rested his lips against your head, taking a moment to inhale your scent deeply as he closed his eyes, the tension from earlier dissipating. Opening his eyes, he set his jaw and pushed you off of him, your body falling to the bed with a soft thud. He gripped your hip and flipped you over, your body weak from the pleasure he gave you. He could see a trail of his cum as it dripped out of you.

Your eyes were barely opened as you stared up at your Master, tiny waves of pleasure still hitting you.

Loki raised a hand, and twirled it to conjure ropes that slid up from each side of the bed, slithering around your wrists and ankles before tightening to hold you spread-eagled over the mattress.

You blinked up at him, a look of concern crossing your features.

“Oh pet,” he looked down at you with a condescending smirk. “You forgot to ask permission.”

You opened your mouth to respond but he turned and swiftly walked through the door. He closed it behind him, the lights flickering off to leave you in the dim purple light from the swirling mass of space and time outside the window.

You could hear his footsteps fade as he left you to consider the fault in your actions, and what he’d do to you when he returned.

...

End Note: Is this the darkest timeline? Probably not. Either way it's the truly fucking meanest I've written Loki yet (aside from maybe President Loki) and either way I'm sorry!!!!

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doubleca5t · 4 years ago

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One of the things I love most about RWBY is that the experience of introducing the show to someone and watching it with them for the first time is tremendously satisfying in a way that I feel is truly unique.

Like, obviously different people have different reactions to RWBY. Some people are hooked straight away, some people never get into it. But one of the most common trajectories for people watching RWBY for the first time is to think Volume 1 is trash, Volume 2 is slightly better but still trash, and Volume 3 is actually pretty good. This doesn’t sound that unique when I lay it out like this, but let me frame this in a more narrative fashion.

You are a RWBY fan. You post about the show constantly. You’ve watched the show multiple times and know it inside and out. You have at least one ship that occupies permanent real estate in your brain. This alone is not satisfying, it does not fully scratch the itch in your brain. You need someone to share your passion with, you need a friend who’s as deep into it as you are.

You tell your friends that they should watch it. They laugh at you. You swear it gets way better after season one and takes a bunch of twists they never expect. No one believes you. The animation looks like someone strung together all the cutscenes from an old Tales Of game. The voice acting and sound mixing is almost unlistenable. The writing is agonizing. It’s just trying so, so hard to be anime and falling so flat. Also there’s catgirl racism. There is no way this show can ever get good.

Not only do they think the show is bad, but you now look like a crazy person for liking it. What does this say about your taste? About what you prioritize in a piece of media. You feel like you’re going insane.

Not only does no one believe you, but no one will ever believe you.

But then, one of your friends decides to give it a shot. Maybe they’re willing to watch it drunk for a laugh, like how people watch The Room or Birdemic. You’ll take what you can get. The two of you struggle your way through Vol 1. They mock the show at every turn. They alternate between hysterical laughter and stunned disbelief. “How could they possible publish this?” “How could ANYONE think this was good?” You think about defending the early Volumes on the basis of low budgets and a rushed production schedule. You decide to hold your tongue. It will only make you look worse.

Volume 2 goes a little easier. They’re halfway between laughing at the show and laughing with it. The lack of shadow people is a welcome sight. The fight with the Atlesian Paladin is actually pretty cool. Burning the Candle is... surprisingly well executed. But they’re still not sold. The show is still trash, it’s just slightly less trash than before. They’re still watching for a laugh. You rub your hands together like Birdman knowing what comes next.

You watch Volume 3. At first it’s more of the same. Maybe they notice the lighting improvements. Maybe they comment on how the dialogue feels a bit more natural now. Still, they struggle to see how anyone could make this a fundamental aspect of their personality. What could posses someone to become fixated on a show which is, at its best, decidedly meh?

You watch Beginning of the End.

“huh, this is weirdly dark for this show.” You sense their mood begin to shift. You brim with anticipation.

You watch PvP.

“Holy shit” they say. “No fucking way.” You are practically vibrating with excitement.

You watch Battle of Beacon, then Heroes and Monsters, then End of the Beginning.

“What the fuck.... what the fuck....”

You are filled with glee.

“But she’s not like..... dead dead, right?”

Oh, but she is.

“WHAT THE FUCK??”

Now they’re hooked. They actually care about these characters that just a few hours worth of content ago they saw only as shallow thrice-copied caricatures of anime archetypes. They are feeling real emotions about Yang and Penny and Pyrrha. They need to know what happens to RNJR. They need to know why Blake ran away. They need to know who the evil milf at the end of the episode is. “Fuck you” they say “fuck you for making me like this show.”

You have not just introduced them to RWBY you have inflicted it upon them. They now wear the shameful badge of being a fan of this show that the majority of the internet thinks is nothing but raw cringe. They have Opinions on ships they would have made fun of people for caring about just a few weeks prior. And they desperately, desperately, want to share this with someone else.

But they can’t.

Because even though they know it gets good, there’s no way to communicate that without making someone experience it for themselves.

They feel like a crazy person for liking this show. They know it gets good.

But no one will ever believe them

#rwby

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pinkbowsandprettyprose · 2 years ago

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Another Tokyo Mew Mew New episode 1 thought dump no one asked for

(aka: “I’ve slept on all of this and I am now able to think straight after bouncing off the walls all day yesterday”)

⚠️ Spoilers below the fold. These are all opinions. Take them with a grain of salt.

I’ve already made a separate post about the Zakuro foreshadowing, with her playing card being different and her aliens-in-the-hair sequence at the end. I’ve been mulling over all of the theories I’ve seen out in the wild, and IMO the most likely one I’ve seen is that Zakuro works with the aliens in some capacity at some point in the series, or is a double agent. I am still fully convinced she is NOT related in any way shape or form to Deep Blue.

I’ve seen some kishigo shippers out in the wild upset over the fact that their opening sequence isn’t a kiss anymore. That’s okay. The nature of their relationship is inherently creepy, so the fact that the producers are underscoring it in the opening tells us they’re aware that the ship is dark, and they’re not sugar-coating it with a sparkly kiss sequence like in the 2002 anime.

On the contrary, Ryou/Ichigo shippers are getting FED with that ending sequence of them turning into cats. It’s really cute and totally shipper bait.

Back to my favorite trash ship, I know a bunch of kishigo shippers are like “wait, we don’t get the ‘Quiche stole Ichigo’s first kiss’ tension anymore!” and while, yeah, that was a good plot device for kishigo shippers to hang our hats on, the accidental Ichigo/Masaya “whoops our lips touched” thing IS in the original manga. It’s just … not as intense as in the new anime, lol.

The humor in episode 1 caught me off guard in a good way. The writing for this reboot is genuinely SO funny.

My bet on the answer to “why is Mint already here?” is this: I’m guessing Mint’s family is involved in the Mew project with Ryou’s family/is part of some kind of tech VC fund. Mint’s chibi intro talks about her wanting to be involved in her dad’s business one day. I’d be willing to bet her dad’s business is a tech or venture capital company that is intertwined with Ryou’s work, and thus, she helped plan the Mew project / was the first Mew.

Masaya’s new VA is dreamy. There, I said it. I love his new voice to death.

Masaya’s reaction to Ichigo being honest with him about not knowing much about environmental issues is sweet. I’m glad Ichigo is up front with him about being ignorant in the reboot. She comes across as less vapid around Masaya which I love.

The fact that the show is making a point to have Ichigo be undecided on her life path is *chefs kiss*. I use this as a plot device in my fic because I think it makes her character development / personal growth more interesting if she still has a lot of personal discovery to do, and I’m glad they’re doing that here.

Predictions for ep. 2: I think it will loosely be 1) explanation of the Mew project and Mint’s background, so we get more of Mint’s story we missed in ep. 1, 2) Lettuce’s story / battling Lettuce and having her join, and 3) a light teaser for Pudding’s recruitment. I do not expect us to get all the way to Quiche’s intro — I’d be willing to bet they’re saving that for ep. 3. If you read my summary of Japanese Twitter reactions to the first 3 episodes, you’ll know that I’m expecting ep. 3 to end with the zoo animal battle and Pudding joining the team. That’s a lot for one ep, and I think Quiche’s intro will go in ep. 3. So, in summary, I think episode 2 will take us close to the end of the manga volume 1, save for maybe the last chapter.

Okay, that’s all for now! So excited for the episode next week. I already can’t wait 🥰

#tokyo mew mew #tokyo mew mew new #ramblings

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whatsupmrstark · 4 years ago

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Bare

Peter parker x stark! Reader (aged up peter ofc)

Summary: a fun day at the compound leads to getting caught by your less than approving dad

warnings: smut with lots of plot have fun

Everyday felt like a never ending date. But in a good way.

You and peter have been together for a while, 10 months to be exact. And nobody knew, well nobody means the avengers your friends and... okay so everyone knows except your dad and happy but hey! Don’t judge the mans scary about his kid. Not that you were scared but more of Peters sake.

The affair started about a year ago, you hung out when he stayed at the compound. He was the only person there under the age of 30 and you two hit it off. Then days at the lab together and so on. You begged your dad to transfer you to midtown and after almost two months of begging and throwing tantrums he agreed, under the pretense you had all your classes with peter and we’ll that was just a bonus.

So then from there you kissed a kiss turned into kisses and dating and homecoming and now your here 10 months later cuddled up against him in the most not obvious way watching a movie with your dad and the rest of your family.

“Nat I swear to god your telling me you wouldn’t fuck him” Wanda whispers sneaking a peak at vision,making sure he hadn’t heard,before focusing back on the movie. You and peter hadn’t stopped your incessant tapping, yes you learned Morse code as an avenger study but you always put it to use in times like this.

He finished pressing out I love you to the skin on your back. A little smile played on your faces as you sat up more in your seat, “hey dad will you go get me more popcorn?” You looked down at him he was a row in front of you in the makeshift theater. And for a stark we all know what “makeshift” means he just nodded grabbing your bowl “Hey me too” Bucky laughed extending his arm to hand his bowl.

Hold up let me explain the seating.

In the front row was nat, Wanda, your dad, and Bruce all huddled together as the scary can and will kill you if they’re angry tier

Then middle row you on the end seat peter next to you and Bucky and Steve on his other side -the soft kid at heart tier

And the third row had vision, Sam and Thor the undecided, we got in to late to pick a good spot tier?

Tony enjoyed culturally enriching the group of misfits and had on a Risky business and sandlot marathon. Right now your halfway through sandlot and halfway through your pantience to go the fuck to bed.

Leaning over into Peters ear you whispered “can you sleep in my room tonight?” He nodded before turning to whisper back “how am I gonna do that, what if mr. stark comes in” you rolled your eyes and kissed him softly, you guys weren’t fans of pda but it was just a peck

“He won’t just come by after everyone’s sleep and I’ll lock the door” it was a good enough answer because he nodded before turning back to the movie just as tony came down the isle handing you both bowls of popcorn, hot buttery and fresh just how you liked it.

By the time the movie ended it was almost 12 and everyone was off to sleep, except tony, he headed down to the lab to work on something and you headed off to take a shower.

Post shower and ready to drag yourself into bed you looked up at the ceiling fighting sleep when you heard your door creak, Peters eyes darting around the dark room till they landed on your stiff body “hey are you awake” you nodded stupidly “yeah I’m up” you twisted around in the sheets, scooting over so he could have get half the bed, “is my dad asleep?”

He just shrugged as he climbed into the bed “Friday where’s tony” you asked aloud, one of your favorite parts of the new update was tracking where you all were in the compound. “Mr.stark is in suite” you just shook your head a little “safe and clear” peter sighed resting into the bed comfortablely, “I can’t believe you own Spider-Man pants” you giggle looking at him Choice of pajamas

You two talked for a while about nothing and everything as you usually did, you fell asleep and peter just watched for a while, you’re tense expression dwindle away drooling on his chest as you curled up tighter against him. It wasn’t long until sleep over came him and he too slept long and hard.

When you woke up, you rushed peter out and back to his room stealing kisses and feeling the adrenaline of doing what you’re not supposed to.

And this continued for a week, a full week of blissful domestic sleeping, the best sleep of your life. Cuddled into your boyfriends body and completely aware of your maybe consequences.

Friday night you sat around the dinner table. “Not for you to take this the wrong way but when is May getting back peter?” Sams question has everyone’s eyes on the two of you, trying to his the fact your holding hands under the table “she’s supposed to get back Monday-I’m excited I haven’t seen her in forever” Sam just nodded to the answer going back to his mash potatoes.

After dinner you all gathered in the living room to play some games laughing and fights and boards flipping halfway through a game of life. “Yknow Thor maybe you should have six sets of twins” everyone laughed at the joke seeing his two cars trailing behind another. “Haha, you and peter are probably the only ones here who will have kids” Wanda blurted and you wanted to dissolve. Of course tony hadn’t taken that the wrong way but everyone kinda shut up. The game ended with vision being victorious and everyone went their separate ways.

Peter was the next to slip up, on Saturday night you were doing what you usually did, watching a horrible reality show on Netflix about nothing but sex and bikinis and girls with awful fake tans. Bucky, who luckily always found a way to spend time with you on saturdays, was really invested though he’d never admit. “I really really thought brad and Angela were gonna get together by the end of that episode” you laughed at his commentary.

Bucky was sitting criss cross on the floor between your legs as you sat on the couch “Bucky I swear your hairs gonna look.. fantastic” you chuckled as you braided another section “are you sure you don’t want Rasta beads on the front” he scoffed eyes still trained on the tv in front of him “no sam would laugh at me and Steve would probably make me take them out” you leaned to the side and forward to look at him smirking and continuing with trained hands at the clusterfuck of braids in his hair

“I think when you take these out your hairs gonna be like beach wavy” taking a comb and brushing out another section “like micheals hair?” You sometimes forget he’s not up to date on all the technical girl stuff “yeah micheals hair makes him like 10 times hotter”

“Who’s hot?” You practically jumped out your skin, Bucky got startled and went into defense “Peter what the fuck, you don’t sneak up on people like that!” You slung an arm over the back of the couch to hit him but he just laughed and swung over to sit next to you. “Another trash reality show marathon” he laughed as he watched the show along with you.

As more time passed you stopped paying attention to peter, when you finished buckys hair you leaned back and curled into the blanket. Watching peter now, he never really got into these show like you and Bucky, you didn’t even get into these shows like Bucky.

And then you felt the little pang of jealousy you got when a girl tried something with peter, he was obviously always uninterested in anyone but you. “Did you just look at her ass?” Peter broke his gaze from the tv and fixated on you “what?” Buckys eyes left the tv too looking between the two of you on the couch opposite to him, mouth full of frosted mini wheats straight from the box.

“You totally just checked that new contestant out, stared at her ass!” He laughed and the got serious once he realized you werent joking. “Babe.. you’re kidding right?.. I really didn’t even look and–“

“What’s all this babe stuff peter” both of you stopped shellshock and turning your heads to look at your dad fridge open as he rooted through it “it’s- uh.. yeah- hey mr. stark” you wanted to laugh and piss yourself at the same time.

“It’s some new slang stuff tony, Yknow how the kids are today” Bucky covered for you as he got up to put his Wheaties away “I’m gonna head to bed kid don’t watch it without me” he winked as he turned around shooting finger guns at tony- “goodnight buck” you all chimed at the same time

“Jinx”

“Double jinx”

“Triple jinx” you all harmonized like a well oiled machine, your dad let out a deep chuckle as he stirred his fresh coffee

“Okay cut it out, since you don’t look busy why not come help me in the lab kid” you both looked up excited and tony looked at you a little sad, “we can work on your new suit” you just let your smile fade and nodded

You three walked down the hall together in complete silence “so dad, this is like the seventh?- seventh right peter?- super spidey suit and I’ve yet to see mark one of iron girl” peter nodded to your predictions statement and tony just rubbed his temple as he picked up the speed and hurried to the lab peter going too. You stopped at your bedroom door “I’m still gonna be asking for it in the morning” you shouted at them and tony just looked at you down the hall smiling at his little girl.

You stopped at struck a quick pose “I am iron man” you mocked his voice, you could see the skin around his eyes crinkle when he laughed just as the elevator door shut them from view. And you headed into your room.

Not a few hours later peter snuck into your room, you paused the movie you were watching and looked at him as he slumped into your bed half sleep already “Yknow I had to call your dad babe for the past 3 hours because he didn’t believe it was slang”

“Hey you’re the one slipping up not me- and god please never call me babe again I already am my father” he chuckled against the pillow his face was smushed in “cmere baby I wanna cuddle” you rolled your eyes and clicked off your tv “Peter any form of babe- not even bae- is acceptable anymore, get creative”

Then came Sunday- the day known to be wasted away worrying about everything you have to do and getting none of it done.

Soon after checking if tony was in his suite you texted peter

You:Come over peter

Peter parker:The last time you texted me that... 😏

you:Just get your ass over here I want to cuddle

You didn’t hear him till your door pushed open and he came into the room. He sauntered over and kissed you. “Hey” he smiled pulling away “hi” , “so what do you wanna do tonight” he asked sitting on the edge of your bed.

You pulled your legs into a cross cross position sitting up against the headboard, “I don’t know, wanna make out?” He just smiled at the brashness murmuring a soft ‘yeah’ as he climbed foreword kissing you. Soft kisses turning into strong ones and you were laid down peter over top of you savoring every second.

“Y/n..” before the words left his lips you’d already felt his hard on press on your thigh for a second. “Are you okay if we..” you asked, usually when you guys did it it was at Peters house and this was new territory.

Peters eyes locked with yours, your peaceful demeanor soothed his anxietied state. He started kissing you again grinding against you this time. Your hands that were draped around his neck ran through his hair finding purchase on the back of his head. You loved being close to him just as much as he did you. The heavy weight of his body against yours made you relax, you felt safe.

Your kiss moved to his neck sucking a small bright red spot that’d be gone by morning you tapped at his side to turn over and you two did just that, resting on his abdomen before scooting down, kissing at his collar bones that peaked beneath the shirt.

You tugged at the top, pulling it up and over his head before just scooting it off the bed. “As much as I’ve seen you peter, I miss you so much” he had the most blissful look in his face. Completely content. Lips a bright shade of pink tucked into a smile. You went back to kissing all down his chest admiring every part of your boyfriend.

“I love you” you smiled and pick your head up to look at him “you what?” He never wanted to pull you down on top of him more “you heard me”

“I love you more peter” you punctuated the statement pulling your sleep shirt over your head. “Can I-“ you gestured to his shorts tucking your index fingers into the waistband of his boxers “yeah” his throaty response stung at your ears.

You pulled both the offending items of clothing off his hard cock sprang up and rested back against his abdomen while you dropped the clothes off the bed. Hands landing on his thighs, gently patting and rubbing the muscular legs you adored.

You pressed down on him leaning forward to kiss him before going back down hand wrapping around him, his head fell back on the pillow already. You pumped him slowly kissing at his v line admiring your work as Peters breath shortened.

You licked your lips before wrapping them around the tip, sucking slowly, tongue twirling over his slit tasting his oozing Precum leisurely taking more of him into your mouth. “Fuck, y/n” Peters hand slipped into your hair. He wasn’t a head pusher but he liked to rest his hand and feel your movements, something to ground him and not get lost in his senses.

You kept bobbing he let out faint noises of moans. “Y/n I can’t be quiet you know that” voice strained and quiet

You lifted off him, a bit of spit had dribbled out your mouth, a slick string of mixed bodily fluids attached you to him. “Hey, FRIDAY put on sound control. Block the whole room out” you spoke fast. “Yes miss stark” the response made you happy.

“What the frick is that” you looked at him massaging his thighs again before stroking his cock. “We had to add an update because I play music too loud for people to sleep. It’s just in my room” you smiled at him and he gracefully laid back to his resting position

You returned to your previous activity’s sucking harder. He didn’t hold back letting out all the beautiful sounds he knew you loved to hear. “That’s it baby” hands returning to your hair as his hips threatened To jut out. You took a hand down petting and rubbing his balls coaxing his first orgasm out.

Peter groaned hard, not expecting to cum so quickly his hot load shooting in your mouth, swallowing quickly and pumping him through his high. Scooching up to rest above him he pulled you into a heated kiss, stomach hot and body aching, wishing to be touched. He pushed at your shorts sliding them down your thighs as much a he could. You lifted one knee at a time trying to get the clothing off. Somewhere in that your tits ended up in his face as he watched you struggle “babe” he chuckled watching you wiggle around in attempt to remove your clothes.

You looked up at his face, he was smiling tenderly post laugh and you just gave up sitting down on your bottom to pull them off your ankles, taking the time to take off your underwear. “I could’ve helped” he fake pouted running a hand from your calf to your knee then up to your thigh as he moved over top of you.

Peter kissed your neck giving warm wet kisses down your chest. He flicked at your nipples before wrapping his lips around one sucking generously eliciting vague sounds of pleasure from your mouth. Your legs wrapped around his mid section, Peters body slotted perfect in the space between your legs. You leaned your head back bumping into the headboard as his tongue swirled and lapped at the bud “ow” hands slipping to hold the spot.

He pulled away fast “are you okay?” Full of concern “yea yea just keep going” you burned in embarrassment as he smiled back, nothing ever seemed to go as smoothly and as sexily as you imagined. Peter leaned back down sucking the other abandoned peak into his mouth, he picked up on the tongue swirl you’d done to him earlier. Caressing at your hip, you looked down seeing his back muscles flex in the dim light coming through your window. “God you’re so sexy” words slipping past your lips in pleasure.

You could feel the smile against your chest as he continued hand sliding between your body’s to your aching core, nimble fingers dancing in all the right places to make you sweat. “Peter” the soft moan of his name had him jumping. Finally letting his fingers glide though your folds, wet and eager.

His head descended kissing down your stomach before placing soft kisses across your hips, legs parting when his three middle fingers rubbed at your clit, fluid and steady movement supplying just the right amount of gratification to leave you dizzy.

Your hips raised involuntary, one of his hands come up to push you back down.

He pulled his fingers away from you, a soft whimper at the loss of the stimulation he provided. “Peter-“ you’re voice was hoarse and whiny as you looked at him so badly wanting him to do something,anything.

“Peter please just fuck me” you could feel the air that left his mouth hit your thigh when he let out a chuckle, your body was hot all over and all you wanted was him. Peter craned over you kissing you more his knee coming between your thighs as you went to shut them.

When you two parted you leaned over to get a condom turning back to peter, sitting on his haunches between your parted legs, his hand wrapped around his cock as you opened the foil packet.

Almost as soon as you’d discarded the packet peter had the condom on and pulled you back to the bed kissing down your neck and shoulder “I love you y/n” hot messy words as he kissed your knuckles fingers interlocking as he held your hand.

You looked down between you two taking the one free hand you had to guide him in, sighs of practical relief left both of you as he slowly sunk in. Your free hand is just now as interlocked as the other, the back of your hands pressed into the sheets Peters nails digging into the fabric below as he started to move his hips.

He groaned so softly “fuck” he kept the slow pace he’d started, wanting you to fully adjust. “Please go faster” your breathy voice that theatened to moan was enough for him to increase his pace. Both your breathing and the sound of you bed creaking filled your ears.

Your legs wrapped around his hips, a loud moan left your lips as he hit the spot he’d been looking for adjusting to hit it with every thrust. Peters lips felt warm and wet when he bit on your shoulder removing a hand from your grasp to hike your leg up. “Fuck you’re so tight” he sounded breathless.

You bit your lip “let me ride you” he continued thrusting and then stopped abruptly “and it’s not even my birthday?” He smiled coyly pulling out as you two switched positions, Peters hands reaching out and greedily grabbing your thighs. You flipped your hair around getting it out your face grabbing onto his shoulders and raising your hips off his lap as he helped himself running his tip along your slit the rubber glistened even more “go ahead sit on it like a good girl” if you weren’t so ready to cum you’d have blushed but he knew just how to egg you on.

Lowering down onto him felt like being impaled in the best way possible “fuck” starting with a grinding motion and starting to rock up and down, the bed squeaking even louder. Peter brought his hand down to rub your clit, going over in a back and forth motion, your hips bucked up to him and a loud moan ripped through you “fuck peter don’t stop” he knew just how to bring you to the edge.

You bounced faster on him his fingers working magic “peter- fuck I’m so close- can I please cum?” He nodded one hand on your waist to help guide you “cum on my cock baby” you whimpered at his words before cumming hard around him clenching down and eyes rolling back “holy shit” you breathed out against the skin of his neck as you his in the crook, body slumped and leaned forward. He was still hard and ready inside you “use me Pete” you whispered in his ear kissing his sweet spot.

Peters hands ventured at your waist rubbing the skin before he grabbed handfuls if you hips his fingers dug into the skin of your ass as he gripped hard, picking your body up and moving you up and down him- god what his super strength could do “who’s is this huh?” He asked as you pulled your head out of hiding moaning a ‘yours’ as he moved your body all on his own. power and Dominance in every movement

You were a mess- your cum coated his cock as it pulled against your sensitive walls “pete- I cant just-“ you whimpered out as he just dropped you down on himself over and over. the sound of you body colliding back with his rang in your ears and you bit your lip to hold back a moan “cmere baby” Peter thumb cradled your chin as he pulled you in for a wet hot kiss, you’re eyes felt sewn shut you were breathing heavily through your nose as you let him in swallowing his groan as he thrusted up slowly the short quick movements seem to hit ever spot you could imagine in such little time “peter let’s- holy fuck- let’s switch” you pulled off his face and he nodded, hand firm gripping himself to pull out and flip you two over.

His warm hands held on to the expanse of your back before just tipping you straight off his lap onto your back, instead of into your pillows you now looked up and seen your footboard as peter smiled down at you before kissing your neck, soft wet open mouth kisses full of every tender moment his actions might have lacked.

Your hands came down around his neck one dancing across the tender skin from your previous attacks, the other gliding through his hair and grabbing at the bit on the nape of his neck- “Peter” you moaned breathlessly

Peters hands had found its ways to your thighs as he kneeled over your body. Fingers leaving impressions from grabbing at you. He sounded just as breathless as he pulled off you admiring the mark he left- soft red and swollen soon to be dark and purple. He lifted your legs and moved you around, adjusting to an easier position.

“Tell me you want it- tell me you want me as much as I want you” his face was red and hot, he still looked so soft and nice sittting above you “fuck- peter I want you” you grabbed his hand lacing your fingers just as he did before. He moved his hips easily finding his place sliding in so perfectly “it’s like you were made for me”groaning he commented. the silence that surrounded you both felt so comforting and empty- filled by every noise made in the room. The light bed rocking, gasps and groans as he quickened- the skin on skin contact decimating into a tune you’d hum the next day.

As he moved longer and stronger he let go of your hand pushing his into the bed propping himself up as he rocked into you. Your legs wrapped around his pert ass, his toes digging deep to keep traction on the soft sheet. “Fuck y/n” he breathed through gritted teeth

“Peter I’m so close- are you with me”

He nodded biting his lip, looking down to where you wrapped around him so perfectly “I’m right behind you”

He let the consistency of his movement out the window, he was hitting deep and hard and fast. “Peter-“ you grabbed his bicep “cum in me” he locked eyes with you if he wasn’t so caught up in making the two of you finish he would have had a kid in a candy store expression. Instead he quickly pulled out taking the condom off and sinking back in, soaking in the feeling of his bare cock in you, everything he’d imagined and more. But he could barely ground himself at the moment he had to focus on the rough feeling of raw knees pressing into mattress.

Everywhere you touched left fire, every noise you made sounded like birds chirping on a Sunday morning, everytime he looking at your face eyes shut in pleasure holding your self back, waiting for him.

It was all too much “y/n— holy shit— I’m gonna cum” he moaned hips twitching and eyes rolling as he came feeling the relief of the tension in his stomach as his coil snapped. Jutting in and out a few times relishing in the feeling of you, hot, wet, messy and tight. Feeling you pulsate after you came.

He collapsed on top of you, dick buried deep, chests heaving against one another, your legs wrapped right around him. You could hear him swallow deep in his throat as he let out another deep breath. “Holy shit best one yet” he groaned feeling your chuckle vibrate against his ribs. You ran idle hands through his hair, regaining from your own orgasm.

You two sat like this for a minute until he got enough and pulled away “god damn” he muttered just enough under his breath to not be heard. Pulling out slowly not wanting to go, admiring everything he’d been able to do. “I feel sticky” you locked eyes as you both looked down

“I can’t believe you let me do that” he fell over next to you on the bed, you scooted over to give him more room. “You deserve it, plus I’m on birth control now”

“Your what!?” He smiled and practically giggled picking his head up to look at you.

You just nodded “I said I had cramps” you elaborated. He just kept breathing an arm sneaking down to play with your hand “we should tell them”

You sat up looking down at him “if we tell we can’t do things like this” you frowned

“Am I just a secret to you?” He didn’t sound accusing, he sounded sad.

Pity and guilt filled your chest. “It’s not like that and you know it- I just wanna-“ you readjusted your searing and looked him in the eyes

“Stealing moments like these make it worth it for me, but tommorow I’ll shout from the rooftops I’m in love with peter Benjamin parker, dad be damned”

“Dad be damned” he chanted, bright toothy smile in place

“Scream it now, sound proof and all” he gestured around the room

You shut your eyes and shook your head,

“IM IN LOVE WITH PETER PARKER” you shouted

“Cmere let’s get you cleaned up” peter groaned, sitting up and taking you with him on his way off the bed

Afterwords you two laid in bed “do you know what time it is” you mumbled against his side as you curled up against him

“Snack time?, please I want grapes” Peter brushed some hair out of your face as you groaned

“I don’t think I can get up I’m so tired” you looked up with a pout sitting up onto your forearms, cradling your head. “... but if you give me a piggy back ride” you smiled and he leaned in kissing your forehead, soft lips pressed against the sweat soaked skin.

“Deal.. but I want one on the way back”

You immediately furrowed your brows and he chuckled “I’m kidding, I’m kidding... unless”

“Shut up” you laughed at him leaning off the bed to pick up the discarded clothes from earlier. Tossing his shirt and shorts over and sitting up to put on your shirt the two of you got up

You piggy backed all the way to the kitchen, being as quiet as you could.

It was complete silence, you could hear the flick of the light switch, overhead lights shutting on and illuminating the common area.

“Do you think Sam ate all my grapes?, I swear to god I’m this close to making tony call a meeting” he turned to like at you as you jumped onto the counter just shrugging.

When the fridge door opened it lit up his face, the led glow compared to the light created by Tony’s green initiative was nothing.

“And what would the queen of stark industry, miss y/n stark like to snack?” He joked with you turning and flashing an award winning smile

You shrugged hopping up to open a cabinet. You found the worst best snack In the world. The peanut butter and jelly two in one and a spoon. Breakfast of champions.

Peter watched you crack the jar open leaning against the island and popping a grape in his mouth. “I don’t know how you eat that” he laughed “I mean how psycho do you have to be to eat a pb&j minus the bread” you rolled your eyes “for one- it is good- your just a baby about trying new things and two— did you just call me psycho?” You hopped back into your place on the counter watching him with murder eyes as he flushed with color. “I kid” he shrugged.

You two giggled and talked. eventually you closed the lid on your jar and he zipped the packaging of him grapes and you were on his back once more.

You immediately fell into bed shrugging off your shirt “were still cuddling I hope you know” you looked at peter as he took of his shirt and shorts. He met your eyeline a little smile on his face “and who am I to deny you cuddles?” He joked around before falling immediately silent. You had lifted your hips and slid your underwear off under the covers, thinking nothing too much of it before just throwing them on the ground.

But peter couldn’t help but feel a slight excitement. He never really said anything but he like the idea of the two of you sleeping naked. He doesn’t really know why. So he just went over the foot of your bed, adjusting into his spot on your bed. you flipped to be facing him just as he threw his boxers across the room. “You’re a mess peter” you mumbled scooching in closer to him, holding him across the abdomen and laying your head flat on his chest.

Peter liked the feeling of your skin against his, it was soothing almost therapeutic. You were quick to sleep so he just laid there in the dark playing with your hair and listing to your breathing. It wasn’t much longer till he too fell asleep.

—

Early bird gets the worm was Steve’s thing. And apparently he thought the best course of action was shock. So he started with tony.

It took him a while but he eventually got tony to wake from his sleep. “What the hell are you doing Rogers”

Steven would just plaster on a bright smile “up and at em tony we’ve got big plans today” of course your father just grumbled and tried to turn back over. After a few minutes of Steve poking him he huffed and got out of bed.

Then they even to Bucky. Steve has this one down pack. Growing up the only way nicks mom could get him up on time was.... a wet willie. As much as Steve hated to pull this card he was more excited to have a productive day with the team. Something they haven’t had in a while

With Bucky awake they divided and conquered. Wanda, vision, Sam, Clint, thor, and Bruce were all quick wakes.

Now all nine of them stood outside of Natasha’s door. “I’m not doing it” Sam spoke up. An immediate uproar of ‘not it’ fell from the group. Steve eventually sighed and took the job of waking her up. Much to his surprise she was already up and in workout clothes. “Morning” she addressed Steve as he entered her room seeing the small flock of avengers .who were watching like this was the next best thing, scatter in the hallway.

Then that left you and peter.

It was bright early and seven am when you woke up with peter laying almost across your body. You had to push with a bit too much strength to get up, head groggy and eyes fuzzy.

upon standing You immediately felt the tingle between your legs that , from last experience, would go away to a dull ache in a hour or so. Hobbling into the bathroom you peed, washing your hands and splashing cold water against your warm skin. You had picked up your toothbrush when you heard footsteps of impending doom coming down the hall. “Oh no- oh shit” you mumbled dropping your toothbrush on the counter. Just as you got out the bathroom taking a side glance to peter who was passed out with the sheets and blankets pushed down his naked body past his thighs, only the knee down covered. “Peter” you whisper screamed. He stayed plum asleep no wiser to the world around him as you scrambled to find a shirt- any shirt- which happened to be Peters.

The soft knock on your door made you heart rate pick up. Peter twisted his head to the side but didn’t even wake up a little. “Y/n” you heard your dads voice. You almost shit yourself when the door handle moved. You looked at the lock in pure horror in the split second between the handle twisting and the door opening.

Peter forgot to lock the door after getting a snack. Peter forgot to lock the door. Your dad is coming through that door. Peter is completely asleep. Peter is completely asleep completely naked and completely exposed.

Fuck

You could hear tony shush all the avengers just as the door cracked open. He assumed you were asleep it being so early and all. When he opened the door and saw you, you froze in place. “Good you’re already up” Steve spoke up behind him.

At the same time Bucky Sam and nat rushed down the hall “peter isn’t in his room. Where could he be?”

Your eyes flashed quickly between your entire family standing in your doorway. Down to your fathers koala slippers and then up to his eyes, bright and cheery despite the obvious exhaustion he hid so well. By now his eyes had a chance to give you a one over. You were flushed and looked jittery and nervous. Then his eyes hit your bed.

And all hell broke loose.

“WHAT THE FUCK”

That one woke peter up.

“Dad” you tried to keep your voice calm

Peter frantically pulled the sheet up then the blanket all the way to his neck.

“UH— Mr.Stark I-Um fuck” he swallowed hard. His stomach was in his throat and he felt increasingly more uncomfy as the other avengers watched from the door.

Tony clasped his hands together and took a deep breath “peter I’m gonna ask this one time- and I don’t want you to lie” he spoke pointing his finger at him barely wanting to open his eyes after the sight he just had to absorb.

“Yes sir- mr. stark- sir” you had to close you eyes and shake your head. Peter was his mentee and, hell if you didn’t know any better you’d think your dad liked peter more, the most peter would get is a slap on the wrist and be on with it.

But here was peter parker acting like your dad would blast him down in the next ten seconds if he misspoke. “Okay-okay- why IN THE HELL are you NAKED in MY daughters bed?” Tony finally looked at the boys face. He was covered in a shade of red he’d never seen.

“Dad” tony whipped his head to you almost having forgotten you were right there. “You’re not speaking for him” he turned attention back to flustered, scared shitless, bare naked peter. “If I have to ask again, what the fuck is going on peter- for the love of god just say it”

“I’m in love with your daughter” peter whispered. You smiled and I love you too wasn’t practical in this situation but you mouthed it to him anyway.

Tony let out the deepest most exhausted sigh you’ve heard leave him in years and just shook his head “I can’t deal nor process this right now. So I’m going to go to my room and take a nap and I want to see you both as soon as I’m up” he turned and pushed past the rest of the power rangers to get out mumbling things under his breath your glad you couldn’t understand.

You turned and looked at nat who was hitting Sam who was trying not to laugh. “But mr.stark I’m in love with her” he mocked Peters voice. And you rolled your eyes. “I have no words” you looked him dead in the eyes. “And if you pick on peter about this again I’ll tell my dad you knew the whole time” Sam shut up quick and you slammed your door shut.

Peter let out a sight of relief sitting up in your bed. “Holy shit y/n tony knows”

You got into the bed handing him his boxers. “I couldn’t even care less right now I need another four hours sleep”

Peter laughed and curled up into a cuddle with you. “You’re just like your fucking dad”

#Tom Holland #Peter Parker #Peter Parker smut #Tom Holland smut #avengers #stark!reader

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elizabethsharmon · 4 years ago

Text

reblog if you feel disrespected by skam france and demand official apology

below a full list of all the offenses:

Manon going back to Ch*rbage after he emotionally manipulated her to not testify against his brother (who got her drunk, took nudes of her, and kept blackmailing her) because “after all nothing happened = he didn’t r*pe her”

Making Arthur and Alexia a couple in the first place just so he could cheat on her with Noee and lie to her for weeks and then having her break up with him, only for them to suddenly being good friends in s6 and kissing in the last clip (which ngl almost made me throw up)

Bringing up Lucas’ insecurities and abandonment issues but never letting him talk about them with Eliott; posting some damage control posts on instagram instead and pretending like Lucas is fine with Eliott kissing Lola for the film (which he clearly wasn’t, the writers seem to not know him at all)

Wasting time to edit Tiff’s head onto different animals and posting things on that cyberbullying account that no one cared about instead of posting something from the grew + the worst social media ever

Not giving us a proper goodbye to the grew and not really saying anything about their future

Lying to the fans about god knows what we will see in s6 and baiting them to watch even though legit nothing of it happened

Not continuing Arthur’s story in s6 (fine, I don’t really care about that but we were supposed to see it so ???? )

Treating some fans more privileged than the others, giving them spoilers about the new seasons, inviting them on set

FranceTV Slash and SkamLaSerie instas mocking fans in their stories - saying stuff like Lola will cause the break up between Daphne and Basile, “addiction can be useful for flirting” (yikes), creating a ship war between fans in s5 by posting two photos of Alexia/Arthur and Noee/Arthur with a caption “we love them both, we can’t choose”, the host of the live of s6 calling people on tumblr “obsessed” and not apologizing when people said they’re offended by that, blocking people who were asking questions about why the SA was never mentioned again during the live

Liking all the praise but constantly ignoring fans when they were asking questions about writing choices and then blocking them

the rest of 50 offenses under cut cause turns out they really disrespected me more than I thought

feel free to add whatever you want if i forgot about something

None of the girls really apologizing to Imane at the end of season 4 after all they’ve put her through and after they took the side of the racist (who already had a history of drama with Emma) instead of their friend

Taking away Noee’s integrity and making her say “I love you” out loud (which was totally ooc cause an episode earlier she said LSF is her language and she doesn’t like her voice) after Arthur (who was leading her on for weeks) told her they can’t be together

Male gaze in s5 because even though the sign language is a body language, the way camera was lingering on her flat, bare stomach, a few times showing a close up on her boobs during the “song-dance” scene was male gaze

Lack of beautiful, slow-mo, piano music scenes for Alexia with Arthur staring at her awestruck because apparently she’s not worthy enough

Completely sidelining the deaf/hoh storyline in favour of cheating/love triangle plot

Reducing Camille to a translator and randomly making him Mika’s boyfriend because why the hell not

Completely forgetting about Mika and Lisa after s5 (did they ever find that roommate????)

Noee kissing Arthur right after he shared his traumatic story with her and overshadowing domestic abuse with cheating

Absolutely no follow-up about P*trick and domestic abuse after s5

Having P*trick cheat on Arthur’s mom with Emma’s mom because they’re all one big family

Random crackfic farm episode that didn’t make absolutely ANY sense

Killing Fifi rip [*]

Arthur getting hit by The Car and being perfectly fine the next day

The Boy Squad becoming cheating apologists, Lucas giving Arthur the same advice he gave to Emma in s1 and Yann (who got hurt because of it back then) supporting it

Character regression, especially for Lucas, and the whole boy squad acting out of character

Continuously trying to make Lucas look like a bad guy because they knew we would forgive him everything

Arthur suddenly liking art even though it hasn’t been ever mentioned before and his whole instagram was filled with space related posts

Parallels between Eliott/Lucas and Arthur/Noee

Catherine - or lack of her - aka the queerbait from s3

Completely ignoring character’s birthdays - Basile and Manon (second year in a row)

Not introducing Lola before and making s6 about a complete stranger but still expecting the fans to like her from the get-go and watch the show by baiting the fans with the promise of “unofficial mains” (Daphne and Eliott)

Forcing the Lola/Eliott friendship and selling it in the promo as sister/brother relationship instead of writing it in a way that would make it flow naturally

Making Eliott Otteli Urbex King only to forget the plot after more or less three clips; also having Eliott hide the truth from Lucas for months and then pretending to resolve it in a text to Lola ??? which didn’t make sense in the first place but then it turned out that it was just damage control

Making Lola hook up with much older guys than her over and over again and having one of them s*xually assault just so Eliott could play the hero and save her; never bringing that up again

Making Eliott punch people left and right - anything to protect the ladies, Sofiane punching Ch*rbage in s4 can agree I guess

Letting Eliott talk about his past and insecurities only so Lola could prey on them later and emotionally manipulate him into drinking

Also Eliott not letting Lola apologize and brushing off her apologies because apparently that was nothing at all and it’s okay to let people walk you over and manipulate you

Not letting Lucas speak for himself

The whole Lux & Obscurus plot, having Eliott write the film about his and Lucas’ relationship and what his love means to Eliott only to have Lola play in it, not adjusting the script so that it would fit the change and still keeping the Eliott/Lola kiss as a big fuck you to the fandom instead of having it end with a forehead touch and fade to black especially that they haven’t even showed it to us again during the screening of Eliott’s film (but it made all the other couples turned on enough to kiss in that exact moment so maybe it had a purpose) (it didn’t what the fuck was that)

Also acting like Lucas can’t spare a few hours to film it with Eliott cause he has to sTuDy FoR tHe BaC when they were filming it in the middle of a night on Friday, how is that realistic

Not giving Eliott any friends of his own and pretending like he’s a lone wolf even though he’s the biggest sunshine ever and he’s naturally drawn to people; acting like there are no other studens at his film school who could help him film his project so instead he let Lola find random people who knew nothing about filming to help him; having a bunch of random people at the screening of his film and if they were supposed to be his “friends” from the film school then I’m gonna throw hands

Acting like we will see what “minute by minute” really means and “see Eliott like we’ve never seen him before” which never happened

Switching POV for two clips only and they all revolved around Lola because they decided to go with su*cide attempt in episode 9

Also ending that episode with a su*cide note even though the next clip was before midnight on Friday

Giving Lola the worst therapist ever and a really poor attempt at cheering her up from the nurse

Enforcing that “having a loved one” is “the real reason to change” instead of sending the message that you should change for yourself first and foremost and showing that reaching out for professional help is a good thing and can really help you

Acting like ED can be cured by italian cuisine and not mentioning it again for weeks; having Daphne ask Lola not to go to rehab because they have each other and a few clips after that she’s suddenly after her first therapy (love that for her but there’s something huge missing here)

Making Lola’s life a living hell and a misery porn for 10 weeks straight

Making P*trick, Thierry and Lola’s biological dads The Worst (men are trash but it would be nice to see some good parenting on the show)

Giving all the members of La Mif two or three personality traits and not fleshing out their characters

Giving Maya a girlfriend because a season without a love triangle is a waste

Not really developing Mayla well and having their first kiss right after Eliott/Lola cursed kiss as a preemptive damage control to shut us up

Never mentioning why Lola was doing

Wasting a good chunk of the season on Tiff and that insta account and ending it with “she’s addicted to social media”

Giving Yann like one line each season after s3

Reducing Sofiane to the background dancer in s5 and s6

Hating female characters

F/M friendships are only possible if the guy is gay, otherwise cheating always had to be involved

and you know. in general. pretty much everything they did after s3.

#skam france #skamfr

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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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S5 Ep13: How to Get Away With Cheating in the Card Olympics

It’s been a little while since Pegasus made a card that screwed us years after it was developed...and so it’s time for it to happen again. Good ol Pegasus, screwing us all and not even knowing he’s doing it.

First off, it took me until this episode to realize that Leon and Zigfried are German and Leon is playing a Grimm Brother’s deck. I guess I didn’t notice before now because Leon was hiding his identity. But now that I know his deck is because he’s just German it’s like...well OK. That’s kind of cute. Better than that time they had the American play a deck filled with guns.

And that actually...fully explains why they are all dressed old timey. I didn’t pick up on it until just now...they’re referencing old ass fairy tales. But wtv, I still like my reaching theories of why Zigfried dresses like...that.

PS, my twitter just notified me that lots of people are getting a ‘Hime Haircut’, which is exactly the doo that Zigfried wears this season with the cropped side bangs. And like...are we sure? I see Kpop wearing it and Tik Tok kids wearing wigs but...I have yet to see a Hime in the wild. Course I haven’t gone outside in like a year so...maybe tens of thousands of people really did do a Hime Haircut during the Quarantine.

But, damn it, I decided to look at some photos, and a bunch of them looked pretty bad, but a couple looked pretty dope, and now I’m a little bit tempted to get a Hime...but I feel like it took a decade to get out of my bangs phase and like...Do I need two layers of bangs? I have naturally straight hair, I could do this, this haircut was made for me, but...

I just don’t know if I should get a haircut that looks like I’m an anime cosplayer when I can’t back it up. Nope. Cannot get this haircut. I know this haircut was made for teenagers or artists in their 30′s, and literally no one else, but no, this will be a mistake just like the side bangs I gave myself in 2006.

(looks over at scissors)

(read more under the cut)

(get it? Cut?)

Leon recalls that his brother very nicely gave him a card, and he’s so excited to finally do any activity involving his crazy ass family, that he just blindly does it.

This entire episode is about Yami not doing a hellscape when he witnesses cheating, and like...it is S5...it’s been a little while since anyone’s done a real good cheat on him, and he opened the door to darkness, and they got devoured by their own Tamagachi. It’s been a while.

And like the curse of Episode 13 was just a theory I had--but this particular Episode 13 is probably the most tame of all the 13′s (and yet, the most un-tame of this arc, which is a pretty chill arc, overall)

Yet...while this episode still fits in with their universe because the Kaiba’s are very proud so they can’t admit their duel disk has a flaw and therefore can’t forfeit the game, it kind of stretches the imagination a bit for the sake of the plot. Straight up we have a LOT of characters in this arc and they all just stood there and watched it happened.

It could have been also because this is like...televised...that no one wants to start throwing this little boy off the nearest blimp. I just wish that was addressed in the episode, other than “listen...Kaiba must allow this card to be played...or all his Duel Disks are lies.”

His Duel Disk almost caused the end of planet Earth a few weeks back, so I think it’s fine. I think this is a negligible problem to have when your disk shoots projectiles out of each end and has sharp folding edges in the shape of a blade--almost attempting to slice your face off every time you wave that thing around.

Yes, he’s trying to restore his reputation after the whole Dartz thing...but this is like...not that bad in the scale of things that have happened in the past several seasons. Maybe it’s just the last straw that broke the camels back here? One thing too far--’your disk played a broke card, Kaiba, I am pulling my investments and I refuse to go to your theme parks. I was here when you blew up that island. I was here when your company was literally bought out by the illluminati...but if that duel disk can’t play cards correctly--we’re done here.’ And TBH...that’s a very Yugioh mentality to have.

Like remember that time that Elon musk threw a brick at one of his new weird looking cars and the windshield cracked? But he was like “Oh...that was just a...listen the windshields don’t shatter, you saw nothing.” and still released the car anyway? Was kind of reminded of that.

Now...he didn’t actually go into the Dev room, we’ll go into how the hell he got this card, but first, a visit to the Kaiba Dev room.

OOOOOOooooooooh

That’s so bright!

It reminds me of how in the 90′s, the only real thing I knew to do on my computer was change the colors of the UI, so I just used the ugliest ass UI known to man for my family’s computers. I hope these computers have a mouse that leaves a tail behind and I hope that mouse is in the shape of a flying sparkling dragon.

Anyway, Duke speaks what’s on our minds:

Meanwhile, Pegasus, watching this happen over a glass of wine from inside his bathtub at Castle Pegasus, takes one very long sip while sinking into a pile of bubbles.

Seto at first is like “I literally own this tournament so thanks for losing? I don’t know why you threw it out into the trash but thanks?” But Zigfried pressured him so hard that everyone on Earth would judge his ass, and tried so hard to change the definition of what cheating even is, that Seto relented almost as if to shut Zigfried the hell up.

Zigfried explained that, technically, it’s still reads as a legal card on the disk and isn’t reaaally against the rules. Even though the rules say it’s against the rules--what are rules anyway?

Thankfully we have the King of “I dictate what the rules are AKA the rules of the universe, which I would show you, I just don’t feel like it right now, and I’m a little worried about opening that Pandora’s box, but I clearly know the rules of this card game, as stated on this Home Depot plaque that Seto gave me after I won the last tourney.”

Leon gets pretty upset about this--not so much screwing Seto Kaiba, but over the fact his brother stole his only chance at trying to beat Yugi Muto fair and square. So, trying to retain what little card honor he has left, Leon tries to self sabotage so everyone can just go the hell home.

OK so...do you think he put a floppy disk into the paper card? Like straight up how did he do that? Feel free to post your theories because like...how do you hack a paper card? Like do we even have a canon explanation of what these cards are or what they are made out of and how they theoretically work?

Anyway, now that they’ve spent a good portion of this episode discussing if this card should or should not be played, and the ethics and philosophy surrounding that, we find out that none of this matters because Zigfried was actually just stalling.

(He hacked the card so it had a virus like straight up how did he DO that without making a new card?)

Huh.

Y’all, what if I could just delete Google?

Can you imagine?

Like I know this is a kid’s show so it follows kid’s show logic and I will absolutely allow this ridiculous master plan and I will not question it, but think with me for a sec:

What if you could just delete Disney?

Damn. That’s some Y2K scare tactics propaganda right there. That’s some good YA dystopian fiction stuff.

Yo is Zigfried the good guy? He’s not, but if this were a YA novel he would be, right? Good on him.

I...do not know how the logic in Zigfried’s brain works, but if someone deleted all the files in my collaborators company and showed up at my front door and was like “I heard you were looking for a new collaborator?” I’d stick him face first into a blank paper card.

Which is, logically, the next step to Zigfried’s plan that no one has bothered to tell him yet. You just don’t mess with Pegasus, especially after all the stuff he went though with getting murdered by Mai, and Dartz showing up, he’d be so pissed right now. He might not be technically magical anymore--but it’s clear after last season that he’s still magical enough. This is a man who’s let out into the wild maybe a couple of scary cards--but hell knows how many are buried in his huge ass castle just waiting to do a murder.

This is just Zigfried hassling a hornet and the hornets nest is like...right there.

And so next episode we are going to...destroy the card? Hell, next episode might be entirely a card game and I might only have 2 caps.

Anyway, just letting you know that I typed this last night, and then had dreams that I got a Hime Haircut and hella loved it, woke up at 5:30 AM thinking about that haircut, and have since been just...

...I mean I shouldn’t do it...I cannot give myself unironic Von Schroeder hair...

...

...but what if it’s dope though?

(and here’s the link to read these from the beginning in chrono order from S1. Wish I categorized in seasons but alas I did not have that forsight back when I thought there were only 3 seasons of Yugioh total. I have since learned.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#yugioh #YGO #yu gi oh #episode recap #photo recap #S5 #Ep13 #Yugi Muto #leon von schroeder #zigfried von schroeder #seto kaiba #grandpa muto #mokuba kaiba #and literally everyone else who stood there and just watched it happen #Just thinking about how one hacks a card and I feel like that's totally possible but how though?

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evans-heaven · 5 years ago

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My review...ish (tbh it's just some notes I made lmao) on Defending Jacob

I'm strictly focusing on the Barbers here, and their relationships. I'm saving all the comments I might have about any other characters, and the performances of all the actors for a final review of the series-if I decide to do one lmao. Also, this isn't completely spoiler free, I couldn't resist y'all I'm sorry 😅

It's also straight from my notes, long asf and unedited asf and I won't take offence if you don't read. I did however enjoy writing it 😁

(This is all in good fun and yes and I'm biased and no you're not getting my time of day if you attack me)

Okay I'm done let's get into it lol

The Barbers are picture perfect. That house belongs on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens and that kitchen belongs on a Food Network show. They eat sleep and breathe privilege, but they probably won't admit it, or are even aware of it. To them, it might seem normal, maybe they believe every family is like that, or at least, should be. Their lives mirror that of basically any white family on TV these days. They're the cookie cutter American household, a damn poster family. Which makes their situation all the more interesting.

I adore Andy and Laurie's marriage. Lowkey they make me feel like I'm third wheeling, with the way they handle each other 🤣🥺 but eventually something began to hang over their heads, and the atmosphere surrounding them only, completely changed. The differences became more clear and God knows where thats gonna take them. Andy hid the truth about his Dad being in jail for 17 years really makes us wonder what else he could be hiding, and tbh she may be wondering the same. If theres anything else below the surface it could ruin them even more, and that's scary.

Andy's relationship with Jacob is the perfect representation of a healthy father-son dynamic. Andy's not rough around the edges and tough with him. It's an unashamedly loving relationship, and something we need to see more of. Let's put aside everything that happened after Jacob was accused. Closed off as he might seem, it's so clear he admires his dad. And Andy is a man who would risk it all for his kid. It's as simple as seeing the way he looks at him. He can't imagine anything ever changing the way he feels about him. And he probably thinks Jacob will never give him a reason for that to happen. He says "I love you" to him without sounding like there's a knife to his throat, jokes around with him, calls him 'buddy' more than he does his actual name, overall it would seem like we're watching best buds with a big ass age gap rather than a father and son 🤣

But back to reality, even after his son is being accused of murder, and him and his wife don't seem to agree on where they stand, Andy believes Jacob. He just sees a scared kid. On the surface, at least, that seems like what Andy thinks about the situation. However, given how good a certain someone portraying Andy (which is very easy to forget, as said certain someone fucking transforms and i see very little traces of him in this peformance) is at conveying emotion without saying a word, Andy won't have to open his mouth for his true feelings to come about. But let's not forget, he went off the handle in a very hot way upon finding a knife in his kid's room. His kid who is a very heavy sleeper might i add lmfao. He also, felt it appropriate to bring up his imprisoned father, which I honestly feel like had to be on account of some of his true feelings, whether he'd admit it or not.

The moment shit hit the fan for the Barbers is moment, I'm sure, we all felt a shift. I said last night that my anxiety was high even before Jacob's accusation, but after, I felt like I was experiencing the Barbers panic and helplessness with them, almost as though I was the accused.

Which brings me to my next point. We need to talk about that scene. You know the one. Where Lynn informed Andy for a situation I'm sure he never, in a million years anticipated. The level of talent radiating out of a certain someone is unmatched. Y'all (who have seen the show) saw the way the emotions raced across his eyes-his entire damn face? The disbelief in his voice, the tense, defensive stance he fell into? The heavy breathing, the anxiety that fell over him, the way he raced home desperately? If there's anything this show did for me and I'm sure so many others, is making us feel like we were experiencing the severity in person. And that's so special to me.

I won't get too much into this, but the way Jacob was handled by the police...well let's just say we know that wont be the behavior with everyone. And it has very little to do with his age, btw 😅

The way he pleaded for his dad almost had me tearing up. Being a lawyer, he feels as though his dad will protect him and make this situation go away. And if I was a 14 year old boy who was arrested for such a brutal murder, a lawyer who just so happens to be the man that raised me would be my first request.

Idk how I feel about the whole murder gene thing. I did however love the way the scenes kept switching, from Jacob finding out about Andy's dad to Laurie finding out. Their reactions were so similar and relatable. However, if that gets brought up in court as "evidence", that person is going to, and deserves to, get called tf out 🤣

Andy was entirely too polite to that waitress who was, very rudely, staring at Jacob. Maybe it's my inner drama lover, but if she stood there like an idiot looking at my kid, another thank you isn't all she was getting. Avert your eyes or lose them sis 🤬

Seeing everything progressively fall apart for the Barbers, while Jacob remains quietly oblivious broke my heart. Laurie being sent home (and highkey being fired lbr), losing her best friend, and seeing her son be treated like a criminal. Andy being increasingly protective of Jacob's every move, is understandable. I'm super excited to see the lengths he'll go to when it comes to protecting his kid, which, if the trailer is any indication, may not have boundaries.

A few more short notes:

Neal needa get hit by a bus and I volunteer

Leonard is a creepy mf which isn't really surprising but STILL

Pam shooting Andy down was lowkey harsh but she still pulled through so 🤷🏾‍♀️🤣

Andy not giving Neal the satisfaction of being closed off and succumbing to whatever drilling Neal thinks he doing is satisfying asf

Andy Barber is a dilf™️ in every scene

Am I the only one who heard Michelle's accent coming through in some things she says?

Laurie throwing the food Toby brought her in the trash without batting an eyelash, I got how she felt but that shit hurt to see 🤣

The actor playing Ben looks like the love child of Harry Styles and Grant Gustin

Wtf do Sarah and Derek know 😭 its killing me

Cherry Jones is killing it 🙌🏽

So is Jaeden, kid is blowing me away.

So is Michelle, her emotions are fucking mine up

The score is intense and adds to the anxiety we feel watching the show and I don't appreciate my emotions being played with in such a way

Chris Evans deserves an Emmy and if he doesn't get it we riot.

That's all for now, if I post anymore notes on the other episodes, obviously it won't be this long as from this point we're only getting one episode a week. Hope y'all enjoyed (if anyone bothers w this 🤣)💕

#chris evans #michelle dockery #jaeden martell #andy barber #jacob barber #laurie barber #defending jacob #defending jacob spoilers #djspoilers #apple tv

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fallenfurther · 5 years ago

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Conflict

Here a Post Episode fic for Episode 3: Space Race (I know I’m pushing into the wrong week but I only got this finished today. Also it was written on a night shift/post night shift so I have no idea how it compares to my normal writing.)

This also contains my interpretation of the cause of the Global Conflict. This is purely from my head, because they never say anything about it.

*****

The war had started fast, and the brutality went beyond anything anyone could have imagined. There were multiple fractions, multiple countries clubbing together to fight for their best interests. Those in charge never thought the people though, never spared a thought for the most vulnerable. Her husband and brother had matched for them, had taken up the call to arms, not for president or country, not because they believed in the cause. No, they enlisted for the money, for the guarantee of a meal. They had been promised good pay, pay that would keep their family going in these uncertain times. The families would have been able to stay in their homes. Except her husband and brother had been killed within a week. The transport they were on had been shot down. Sasha had also lost her job when a bomb blew up the offices she worked in, not that it could have supported the family, now made up of her two daughters and now her parents. The rent on her small two bed apartment had been the cheapest so her parents moved in. It had been cramped, and the fear of more bombs kept everyone on edge.

Maybe that was why they had approached her, because they knew she would jump at the money. It matched the wages her husband would have made and more, it also came with a completion bonus, a massive completion bonus. Or maybe it was the shielding project she had been working on for the government. Or maybe it was just a bit of both. Not that it mattered why they chose her, what mattered was that they had, and she had accepted at the opportunity. She packed a suitcase, said goodbye to her family and moved to the warehouse. That's where she met Abdul, the designer of the mines. The mines she was to hide. He had shown her the plans, given her a tour of the production line, and then settled her in a small office. It took a while to get used to using a real pen and pencil, all the plans and documents being on paper. Better for security, was their response. It made everything that much more challenging, but she needed to rise to it. Her family was depending on her. She couldn't let her children starve. Sasha had met the deadline, twisting her design to fit their needs. She impressed herself at how she managed to meet it, staying up late each night. Sasha hated the pleasure she got when it was approved, and the thrill of watching the first circuit boards being prepared and emitters being put together. Her work wasn't completed. She now had to focus on getting the control network coded and running in time for launch.

*****

The mine was both basic and complicated at the same time. Brains had managed to remove the explosives, which were now being stored safely and were ready to be handed over to the GDF. The rest of the mine was simple apart from the small box that housed the shielding. This box was what he scanned and dismantled. It was incredible in its intricacy and once he understood how it work, was amazed by the simplicity within its design. The mechanism was complicated, but that did not faze him, Brains enjoyed getting his mind stuck into a good puzzle. He scanned and inspected the components, MAX passing him tools as he went, even getting him a glass of water when Brains hadn’t realized he was even thirsty. He was so lost in thought over the problem. He tweaked his scanner again, trying to find any detectable frequency coming off the device. There had to be at least something! There was small blip in the readings and excitedly he fiddled with the settings, making the blip clearer. Even with the shielding activated, he could still detect the small frequency coming off the device. Brains smiled, setting to work on a scanner that he could install into Thunderbird Three, and could be used to locate any more of these mines that might still be hiding out there. It was their duty now, to make Earth’s orbit safe, as they would never know when another mine might be triggered. They couldn’t take the risk, especially with their own ship frequenting the area. It pained Brains to think such a fantastic piece of technology had been used in such a horrible way, but now he had the design, he could improve it and maybe put it to better use. He was going to compared it to Thunderbird Shadow’s stealth systems and maybe see of there was some crossover and improvements that could be made. He might even be able to give FAB1 an upgrade. With new possibilities and ideas forming, Brain’s set to work.

*****

Sasha worked flat out getting the first batch of fifty units out. She called them units, not wanting to admit to herself what she was really doing. At least these units won't be hurting her children. They were safe, or at least as safe as they could be. Not that she'd had any contact with them. Contact was prohibited. It was to keep what they were doing from the enemy, to stop them from finding out. This unnerved Sasha, but it was too late now. No going back. The control network was coming along well, and in a few days, it would be ready for action. There would be no trial, it would go straight to live. Desperate times call for desperate measures. They had to protect the supply line, it was what was best for the people, the government had said. She was doing this for the Motherland, Sasha tried to convince herself.

Between control network, she sorted out the program for the mines. They had tested the shield so at least that worked. The boxes that designated which ships were not targets were being produced elsewhere, to her design. The first fifty units were given the ID XQ, which she hated, so in the programming when she had to put in the ID at the start, she coded the name of her brother, Markoff. They may have taken her brother away from her, but at least, in this small way, he could take a few more of them back. The dead would fight again. Sasha took what little comfort she could from it. The Motherland had started the war, not wanting to give up their mining monopoly of the nearest asteroids. Some countries had been happy to negotiate, and trade agreements were made, others weren't so pleased with the deal and when negotiations failed, and words got heated, those words quickly became actions. Sanctions quickly came into place and tensions rose. Her community suffered. Her community had started to starve. So, the Motherland said they had to fight. This was how she was fighting. Thorough these mines she would protect her 'brothers and sisters'. These mines would make the enemy think twice.

Sasha lived in the dormitory with the other workers. Including her and Abdul, there were twenty-six of them in total. The machines ran at all hours and the others took shifts. Twelve on, twelve off. She got to know the day shift well, heard their stories, which were a mirror of hers. She remembered the names of those they had lost and wrote them down in her office. Each batch would have a different relative fighting back. Every mine containing the name of someone the war had taken. Someone who never wanted to fight. At the end of the week they were given a piece of paper and a pen, and they were allowed to write a letter home. Sasha jumped on the idea and told her girls how much she missed them and that she'd see them as soon as her job was complete. She had no idea if the letters made it home, but it was the only hope she had.

A week later she was informed of the success of the mines. Multiple enemy ships had been taken out and they had no idea where the mines came from; they hadn't seen it coming. They promised her a bonus. She would never know if she got it as her wages went straight into her father's account. She received data from the network and used it to update the software. The hardware was left to her colleagues as the next batch, this time it would be known as XS, and there would be a hundred made. The Motherland was taking space seriously. Sasha named it Mika after her colleague’s brothers who died in the first air raid on his town.

*****

Thunderbird Three responded like a dream, as always. Alan loved piloting her and was glad to be back in space again. A few twists and turns as he passed through yet another cloud of space debris, scanner on, searching for more bombs. Brain’s had worked out a way to not only scan them, but to mimic the original control network, so they didn’t activate. John suddenly floated beside him.

“You know you could pick up some of the other debris as you pass."

"John, I'm on a deadly mine hunt. I don’t have time for collecting trash."

John rolled his eyes. "Just be careful."

"I am careful!" Alan complained, as he twisted out the way of some more debris. The mine that had just been detected was now in full view. John disappeared and Alan targeted the old technology. He got it first time, and it joined the eight others he was dragging along. Alan continued to methodically fly the grid John had given him of the areas he needed to scout. This was going to take a few days to clear, but at least this beat doing schoolwork. Another mine located, Alan captured it and headed to the island with another ten mines for Brains to make safe.

Over the next three days Alan clear Earth’s orbit of mines, before finally setting his eye on the junk pile that the GDF monitored and maintained with a space laser. The GDF knew of their plan, and happily agreed to turn off the laser to help them complete it. They didn’t want any unknown mines in there that could activate and blow up at any time. Alan scanned the whole area before starting to pull a few mines out that had become buried in the heap. Some had taken a little more effort than others to get out, but he felt a great sense of achievement when he got the last one free. With six mines trailing him, he moved away from the area and called John.

“Mission complete, John. All bombs removed from orbit.” Alan finished the sentence with a yawn.”

“FAB Alan.” John chuckled slightly. “I’ll inform the GDF they can reactivate the laser.”

*****

She had been here for almost five months now, completely cut off from the outside world. The war was close to entering its seventh month and she had no idea how it was going. Her family didn’t know where she was, only that she was alive and safe, if her letters were getting through. She missed them terribly. Sasha’s arms ached for her girls. The desire to hold them close and hear their innocent chatter was strong. She just had to keep going. She’d see them when the work was complete.

The current batch was almost finished and was just waiting for her to upload the program to their drives and network. This was the largest volume yet; two hundred units. Two hundred units to be scattered around the Earth, on top of the hundreds already orbiting the planet. A shield for their ships. Protection of the deadliest kind. These were the XZ batch. All Sasha had to do was give them the name, pick a relative or friend to replace the unit ID. She had a list to choose from but none of them jumped out. She needed to name the batch, and soon.

Sasha was brought from her thoughts by an odd noise from the factory. She stood from her seat and headed out to see what was happening. There was another sound, coming from the other side of the factory. She passed between the machines that currently stood still. They had yet to be asked to make another batch. There had been talk amongst them of heading home. The sound came again. She continued, heading past the assembly area where the last of the units had been readied for transport. The sound came again, louder now and unnerving. Sasha paused. She stood beside the crate. There was no indication of what was in it except for the unit ID that was printed on the side ‘XZ-198’. A door, a short way away, opened and Sasha watched, holding her breath. Two Chinese soldiers stepped out: their guns ready. An older, obviously more senior, officer exited after them. The noises started to make sense and fear filled her heart.

“The last one is the other designer. She’ll be in her office” The senior one spoke with authority, “I will then grab the papers I require from. After that we load the last three crates and burn this place to the ground.”

There was no response from the other two, and Sasha didn’t wait around. As quickly and quietly as she could, she ran back towards the office and sped to the fire exit not far from it. She pushed the bar. The door didn’t open. Panic filled her as it dawned on her that they had locked her in. There was no escape. Her heart fell as she though of the promised bonus. It was never something she was ever going to see. It was compensation, for her family, so they could go on without her. She was never going to see her children again. A tear escaped her eye. She had orphaned her daughters. Sasha knew they would be raised well by her parents, but that would never heal the pain they were going to endure. Their last goodbye had been months ago, she hadn’t seen them since. It hadn’t been a proper goodbye. Another tear fell. Without another thought, she ran back to her desk and took her seat. She typed in the name she wanted to give this batch and hit upload. She watched as it connected to the network, becoming part of it before being downloaded to each and every mine. The bar slowly moved along. She turned at the sound of the door, her body shaking. The men walked in. The guns were pointed at the ground. The gunmen flanked the senior officer, who stared directly at her. A chill ran down her back.

“Has the program been upload into the mines successful?” The man demanded.

Sasha glanced at her screen. The bar was full and the word ‘complete was beside it.

“Yes.”

The man nodded. The guns were raised and pointed at her chest. Sasha took a trembling breath as the shots echoed around the room.

*****

Alan had to wait for Brains to inspect the mines and make then safe before a full debrief could be performed. This took a little over a week, as they had to do multiple runs to the local GDF base with the various components. The explosives in particular were hazardous as they were so old, but there had been no mishaps, and all had gone smoothly. Brains now stood before him in the lounge. Alan was sitting on the sofa with Scott and John hovered beside the images Brains was taking about.

“Alan, you recovered eighty-three s-stealth mines in t-total. All from various batches. The GDF was k-kind enough to give us all the detail they had on these, which helped with the search. It turns out that many had been detonated during the conflict, or j-just after when the newly formed GDF had to try clear them to make space travel s-safe again. These mines have taken thousands of lives, and the GDF are t-thankful in our help ensuring there are no more out there. Where they were manufactured and by whom was never discovered.”

“These people make me sick.” Alan said, his words filled with disgust. “What kind of sick people make hidden bombs and scatter them through space? How could they live with the amount of people they killed?”

“The Global Conflict happened during a difficult time, both sides did awful things, Alan.” Scott butted in, fully aware that Brains had memories of the war. Scott had been too young to remember what happened, but it had been frightening times. “Just be glad the peace was achieved relatively quickly, and the World Council was created.”

Alan sighed and crossed his arms. “I still think they are sick people.”

Alan saw Scott share a glance with John and shake his head out the corner of his eye. Just because they were older. They weren’t always right!

“What d-does baffle me is the naming system they used.”

“What so special about the naming system?” Alan asked. XZ-157 wasn’t that interesting to him.

“In the c-coding of each mine, right at the start where you’d expect the ID to be is a name. It appears that each ID has a different name attached to it. For example, the XS ones had Mika and the XV ones had Sonia. They are all single first names apart from the XZ ones, like the first on you found.

“What make the XZ one so special?”

“That I c-cannot say. The XZ had a full name of a real person. Sasha Lidia Rudin.”

“Who was she?”

“Sasha Rudin was a Russian software engineer who went missing during the Global conflict. She is presumed dead.”

“So, no one important then.” Alan fidgeted, hoping the debrief was almost over so he could go play some Cavern Quest with his friends.

“Everyone is important, Alan.” Scott spoke sternly. Alan just crossed his arms and slumped down in the seat. Alan could almost hear Scott roll his eyes.

#tagrewatch #thunderbirds are go #space race #alan tracy #mines #global conflict #Scott Tracy #John Tracy #Brains #minesweeping #making space safe again

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jq37 · 5 years ago

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May we have a recap, please? :)

**spoilers for panic at the art show and home for the holidays**

OK people. I actually don’t have a ton of commentary on these two so I’m gonna try and keep it (relatively) short and sweet [Edit from Future Me: Failed Step 1].

Also, iirc, this is the week Dropout starts streaming new Fantasy High eps on Wednesdays which is very dope and I am very excited for. I probably won’t do full on recaps like I do for normal eps because, lbr, I don’t strictly have the time to be recapping these eps at all and it’s pure stubbornness that keeps me from making wiser time management decisions. But, rest assured, if I have an Opinion, you will hear it whether you want to or not.

Anyway, on with the show.

Last recap, I mentioned that this ep was giving me Aelwen house party vibes and now it reminds me of that ep in another way: Everyone rolled like TRASH almost the entire ep. It was so frustrating! They barely got any hits in until like halfway through the ep.

(Aw man, I just realized I’m gonna have to remember which spelling of Aelwen is correct again now that FH is coming back.)

I love how Murph is immediately like, “I need to make sure my wife doesn’t die during this fight avenging her fictional husband.”

Isabella also has Aelwen’s trick of poofing around the battlefield which is annoying as hell (ha) for the group.

Siobhan hilariously casts fear on Priya just to be spiteful. I thought she was doing it to help the evac process but no. It was a purely spiteful action. Bless.

When Kug turns into an ape he, of course, turns into *the* NY ape, King Kong.

“I roll a nat 20 on an epic shit.”

When Brennan was describing Kingston’s spectral New Yorker Guardians I was already thinking about that one part of Spiderman 2 (the OG Toby Mac version) and then he straight up said, “You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us,” and I lost it.

“Deny the stairs the pleasure of my feet.” Emily is a poet.

I want to know what makes a pigeon spicy more than anything.

The fact that Brennan killed Ox AGAIN and then immediately looked into the camera and let the audience know the dog was fine because he clearly Oracle stared into the future between eps and saw the entire internet sharpening their pitchforks was so funny.

About midway through the ep, Pete tries and fails to send Isabella back to hell and Isabella starts monologing about her plans and connection with Robert Moses (she stole the list from Santa and is/was gonna marry Moses apparently). I wonder if Brennan was like, “These players are for sure gonna murder her without getting any useful info out of her unless she goes full Bond Villain right now.”

And, proving my point, Emily immediately does 56 points of damage, royally f-ing Isabella up.

This is a really civilian heavy fight which feels weird in a way the FH fights never did. Like, these aren’t even civilians who live in an adventuring town in a fantasy world. These are just normal ass civilians in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Pete fails a wild magic roll after failing to teleport into the building and then gets a choice of getting really strong (which prob would have let him bust down the door) or to teleport in (which is what he does and exactly what he wanted). Very clutch when the dice rolls play into the story like that.

Kingston lightning bolts Isabella’s hair off which is just malicious but also totally called for.

On her next turn, Sophie gets hurt on purpose to get low enough to activate her ring, lets her hair burn for long enough to shorten it to a cute bob, insults Isabella, then knocks her tf out.

I love that Emily took one of her teeth (a seemingly crazy move) and when called out by Lou was like, “It’s a link to Robert Moses” (a completely reasonable answer). That’s the Axford one-two punch.

I didn’t mention it before but, Willie the golem is here, first immobile but then brought back by Misty. Post fight, he says he was somehow brought here by one of the evil factions of the city and says they’ll talk about it later. Also, Misty makes out with him (DON’T KINKSHAME HER).

With a high insight roll, Kingston is able to deduce that the group was ambushed (though not by Priya) and that their victory was a really important one for the fate of the city.

(Sidenote: The amount that Pete is Over Priya in this ep is so funny.)

Back at Wally’s (which is where Kug is now staying) Wally has gotten Kug a dog bed to sleep in and fancy charcuterie cheese because he and Ricky are the only pure-hearted people in NYC.

At the same time, Pete and Kingston have a very sweet heart to heart and then settle down at Kingston’s place to chill and listen to jazz. Idk how else we expected this to resolve, considering this is a Brennan Lee Mulligan DM’d show where the sacred pillars are Teamwork, Friendship, Communication, and Making up an NPC on the Fly Because One of Your PC’s Decided to do an Insane Thing.

Next up is the Christmas ep and Brennan, Emily, and Zac are in sweaters for the occasion.

Well,actually it’s the 21st and Emily immediately clocks that that’s the solstice.

Are cookies the good carb?/Absolutely not. But have fun with your life. (I love Ricky’s soft jock energy.)

“I run deliveries,” Pete says to Kingston’s parents, not technically lying but also not being completely truthful. Misty would be proud.

Going over to Misty, it seems pretty clear at this point (and it’s confirmed in the promo for next ep) that Misty’s fairy business is some kind of de-aging/reincarnation for herself. I wonder how many of these she’s done so far. She said she’s been around for, what? 200, 300 years? Assuming she’s been doing then reincarnations at about 65-70 years old and she reincarnates to around 25? Maybe 6 times? Idk. Just spitballing.

Saucer of milk to keep the faeries from stealing her (non-existing) children. Faerie lore is wild y'all.

Did you take another level of warlock?/Yeah bitch.

The fact that since Sophie has joined a monastery, she’s only taken Warlock levels and no Monk levels is very funny from a story perspective. It’s like, she finally comes to this sacred place to be trained to her full potential and she’s just spending what should be her sparring time playing with her cat in exchange for spells. Wild.

Emily’s cat-like, self-satisfied grin when Brennan is like, “So you just jerry-rigged yourself clairvoyance powers, huh?” is so good.

And she did it on the fly because Emily Axford is winning D&D. There are no points but she’s winning.

So, uh, Emily does, two things, very in character right after the other:

Thing number one: She send her unseen servant to spy on her family. Her dad seems hardline, “F, Dale. Whatever. Family first. She needs to get over it.” On the other side of the spectrum is her mom who is very upset about the whole affair with her siblings falling in the middle.

The second thing she does, very casually I might add, is have her unseen servant BURN DOWN HER HOUSE SO SHE CAN COMMIT INSURANCE FRAUD.

EMILY

Everyone loses their minds and rightfully so. What a wild-ass swing that no one could have seen coming. I love it.

“I look in my backpack which is now my home[…]"

I almost forgot that Ricky was a fire fighter who would not abide that nonsense until Brennan decided to cut to him.

Ricky just dolphin swims across the Hudson in 2.5 mins to go put out the fire that Sophie set. Amazing.

Ally mocking Emily/Sophie: Truthfully, I don’t know what happened.

"I love John McClane, because he loves his wife.” WALLY

Wally: Oh we’re gonna tell a lie on Christmas.

“This is what winning looks like.”

I would really like to know what trace stuff what on the drugs Pete got from 7 but Ally rolled too low to figure it out.

“I disassociate fully."

Well it took him a long ass time but glad to have Pete on the selling drugs to kids is bad train. Choo-choo, dude.

7 saying you can hack in real life in reference to his AK-47 has the same energy as Hardison using the word hack in literally any semi-weird episode of Leverage.

SOCIAL MEDIA IS VOLUNTARY PANOPTICON

So Kug goes with Wally to David’s house disguised as a dog and, despite that, blurts out that he’s his dad immediately. Well, he tries to. The Umbral Arcana stops him, unfortunately.

"I lick my son’s face.” KUUUUG.

Sophie showing up with a raw goose and hellish rebuking it is so metal and it’s a shame no one got to appreciate it.

Me when Sophie’s Mom changes into black top in solidarity for Sophie’s mourning: F EVERY OTHER NON-SOPHIE BICICLETA. I RESPECT YOU.

Kingston is hustling very hard to get his man Pete a job which is a very Kingston move. That’s how guys like that show affection.

Didn’t mention it before but Kingston’s parents and Mom specifically adopting Pete is very cute.

Sidenote: Idk what 7 was talking about Pete trying to stay low profile. He wears a cowboy hat (now a ZEBRA STRIPED one, courtesy of Kingston). I think the subtlety train has sailed my guy.

Esther shows up at the firehouse, carrying presents for her mom and grandma and looking for Ricky. The says that she’s kinda dealing with something and it feels good to be around him (beat) magically speaking. Sure. I’m gonna keep my Hercules soundtrack on hand just in case anyway.

I think Ricky is the only person who, with no pretense, could give his crush a sexy calendar featuring him.

Anyway, turns out Esther’s mom and grandma are the furies of Tompkins Square and she’s fated to join them or something.

Esther causally: I defy you, I defy the prophecy.

The fury thing would explain why Esther’s mom would have cursed Kug. They are famously magical punishers.

Ricky is a magically certified Good Boy but we been knew.

Zac’s restraint to respect Esther’s personal boundaries in lieu of getting a lore drop to stay true to Ricky’s character is amazing. Mad props.

So we slide over to Misty’s Christmas party which Stephen Sondhein is attending and him having a character card kinda killed me.

There’s a post on tumblr somewhere about playing faerie incapability for impoliteness against a vampires need to be invited in and that’s what I thought about when Moses and his vamp friends showed up at Misty’s house.

Robert tries to talk Misty into striking a deal with him for protection from Titania. She’s very much not having it.

“You know Robert, I love a comedy and I love a farce. I’d like to remind you of who it is that started this and it’s not me and it’s not my friends but I can assure you Robert Moses that we will be the ones to end it if you do not. Do you understand me?” Damn. That’s a mic drop from Misty.

[As I’m editing this, I’m realizing I somehow lost a BIG chunk of text. I’m not gonna write it all up again but the Cliffnotes are as follows:

Between the Solstice and Christmas, the gang goes Grand Central Station to see the clockwork gnomes that live there because trouble is apparently afoot. Some size changing nonsense happens and Pete shoots a dog (with mini bullets, the dog is fine). Lou is enchanted even though Kingston is not (a common theme with him). Ally and Emily are on the same nonsense wavelength (as usual).

There are dope magical dragon trains under Grand Central Station that go to the shadow realm which is a place I’d like to know about. Kingston has never seen these trains before even though you’d really think he would have.

Murph says Gnome Rights which is wild if you know what Naddpod is like.

Anyway, the high priestess of the gnomes passed out the other day and they figure out it was due to pixie magic which is suspicious. They also know they pixies have access to a “time stone” which leads me to believe that it’s Brennan and not Aguefort who thinks that Chronomancy is the most powerful magic of all.

Sophie and Jackson go to Dale’s grave on Christmas. Jackson explains that the Order of the Concrete Fist is basically a literal school of hard knocks. A counterbalance to all the reach for the stars dreaminess that comes with NYC.

Dale was their chosen one who was supposed to stop the monastery from falling when some unspecified badness crossed over to this side, but when he went to the place where he was supposed to get guidance, there was no one there (clearly tying in to what Dale said to Sophie last time they talked. I wonder what she needs to get to the top of? Empire State maybe?).

Watching Murph watching Emily, his real life spouse, play at grief for her fictional husband and do some truly insane things is so funny because you can clearly see him thinking, “I am married to this woman,” which, in fairness, is probably the main thing he’s thinking when he’s playing D&D with Emily.

I’m probably missing something but that’s all I remember. Back to post-Christmas!]

So it’s opening night at Misty’s show and, somehow, Ricky’s first show ever.

I love that Don Confetti is there because of Siobhan’s offhanded comment for a handful of eps ago about him being a supporter of the arts.

Anyway, everything is going great until the second act when Titania busts in through the mirror which is *not* is storage as Misty requested but on stage. It’s a theater fight, y'all! And not the West Side Story kind although if that doesn’t come up I will be very surprised.

“Let’s kill Titania!” –Misty in the promo

Just going straight to 11, huh Misty?

See y'all then!

#dimension 20 #the unsleeping city #d20 #asks #kickmuncher3

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momtemplative · 5 years ago

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MASKED.

In a house with two young kids, our quickest sanity-stabilizer in this COVID era was to head outside and go for a walk, or a bike ride, or to roller skate. We’d pay close attention to the proximity of passers-by, but typically the grassy fields by the bike paths were an open canvas for the kids to blow off some steam. And we’d all return home a bit winded and slightly more stable.

Then, a little more than two weeks ago, a strong recommendation came from Governor Polis for everyone to wear masks in public. But what, pray-tell, was “public” referring to?

Here’s what the CDC endorsed: wearing cloth face coverings in public settings where other social distancing measures are difficult to maintain (e.g., grocery stores and pharmacies) especially in areas of significant community-based transmission.

So that’s what we assumed Polis recommended as well. That night we even had a happy hour gathering with our neighbors, all at least 6-feet-away, but without masks. We didn’t feel like we were being sneaky or non-compliant, we were simply following the guidelines as we understood them.

But then we started seeing people in their yards wearing masks, and on walks wearing masks— in addition to 6-feet! There was an eerie infiltration of mask-wearers, and, with that, the non-verbal communication of an abrupt change of protocol. Our sacred, oft-traveled, 1,000-step bike path that loops around the block started to feel unfamiliar, as if it were a movie set peppered with strangers, wearing homemade cloth curtains over their cheeks.

We quickly felt like a minority out there with our bare faces.

An afternoon walk was once a favorite time of day—quarantine or not. Quickly though, in light of the current mask situation, and before I began to wear one, my brain started to get stuck in a grinding pattern of managing everyone else’s whereabouts in accordance with my own. I noticed that I was judging those who were masked, at least in part because I was sure they were judging me.

Their judgment and my judgment felt cut from the same cloth: judgement as a way of controlling the uncontrollable. There is so much confusion about protocols. So much fear of the radio broadcast of white noise and speculation that is to be our future. All these feelings get lumped together into just trying to do it right. I returned from one particular walk stiff as a board and deeply grumpy.

“Jesse,” I said, “I’m not going on a walk again without a mask.”

I opted out of any domestic sewing of masks at first, and started with my old-lady cardigan tied around my face like a waist. I then upgraded to a bedazzled bandana that I bought to fill Opal’s Easter basket last year. I love the happy fabric, but it wouldn’t stay up over my nose for anything beyond the liquor drive-through (my singular biweekly errand). Store-bought masks are not an option. They’ve been back-ordered for weeks and if the stock is replenished, it needs to be saved for the blessed healthcare workers.

By the next weekend, Jesse and Opal wore masks that they made from a YouTube video, using mustard-yellow t-shirts and rubber bands, while on a bike ride. That ride turned out to be very brief because, according to Opal, it was so hard to breathe.

The solidarity and confidence that come from wearing a mask are helpful and significant, sure. But the act of wearing a mask changes the experience entirely.

On a purely physical level, it muddles your peripheral vision, steams up your glasses, makes it hot and very hard to breathe.

On a social-emotional level, the masks create a real separation between people. It feels similar to being at a costume party—even if the invite list includes most of your friends, everyone is suddenly anonymous.

I walked behind two people (in masks) and a dog from a block away that I thought were my beloved next door neighbors. I even hollered at them. (They didn't hear me.) Then I got closer and realized it was a different dog and very much not my neighbors. It’s all very disorienting.

One week in, and Opal has taken Polis’s suggestion as gospel. Of course, I don’t blame her. Sometimes when we are out and about, so is the rest of the neighborhood. During those times, the mask feels safe and dare-I-say comforting. (Like we are good, complaint citizens. Go us.) But other times, there is nobody outside. I tell Opal, “Sweetie, we can keep our masks around our chins until we see someone (dozens of feet away!) and then put up our masks.”

Opal’s reply: NOT A CHANCE.

I try to imagine what it would be like to experience all this at age ten. What other such details has her system become accustomed to over the last month? Zoom call playdates, online school, little sister around all-the-effing-time. Maybe some feelings come out sideways? Maybe everything seems overwhelming and busy even though very little is happening?

In the olden days, before COVID, any sort of outdoor trek was soul-nourishing for all of us. It ticks a lot of boxes: sunshine, fresh air, exercise for me and the dog and the kids, a brain reset. Now, masked, such an activity is beyond taxing. Ruth has no desire to keep her mask on and she’s a runner. We can bribe her with a lollipop to stay in the stroller, but the girth of the BOB, along with the leashed (80-pound) dog requires skill and intentional footing on an average day. Trying to juggle it all through a face-drape is the emotional equivalent of walking through tar. A guaranteed headache.

Returning to our backyard, with its creaky swingset and patchwork yard, and removing our masks (along with the associated invisible constraints) is beyond restorative.

“That’s the best part about a mask,” Opal said. “Taking it off and having the air taste so fresh and cold again.”

On Sunday morning—a few days ago and two solid weeks into the mask-in-public rules of conduct—the kids were scattered on the floor watching Frozen while I folded laundry and Jesse tinkered away at the sewing machine. Project: to sew face-masks that fit each of us properly. It was a lovely scene of the times. I would imagine Norman Rockwell painting such an episode if he were alive during COVID. A family of four (plus cat, plus dog) in their natural weekend habitat. Slow to dress, sipping juice or coffee, and, sewing face masks.

“Ruth,” Jesse said, “Come on over here and try this on to see if it fits.” Ruth scurried over to him to try on her mask like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Later that day, I walked our dog wearing the mask Jesse so lovingly crafted for me (after three fittings). It was exquisite, hands-free, spacious around the mouth. He even used the sweetest yellow-petal, summer dress fabric. When I returned, I kissed him straight through the mask.

In spite of a good fit, it still takes exponentially more effort to greet someone while masked—you have to yell or over-gesture to compensate for the fact that both of your faces are completely erased. Because we wear ours primarily outside, most people are in sunglasses with their masks. But if not, they are far enough away where eye-reading is not an option. It’s all a straight-up guessing game.

More often than not, for the sake of simplicity, it’s just me and the dog these days. Typically, I have my dog’s leash in my left hand, and a steamy bag of his shit in my right that gets carried for countless unpleasant blocks. This is due to the lack of public trash facilities on the neighborhood routes I find are easier to navigate within the guidelines of 6-feet-between. Bike paths are pretty tight if there isn’t open space to veer off on either side. And now I’ve got my mask on, and fogged-up sunglasses. The uniform is similar to that of someone on Halloween in a last-minute ghost-sheet costume, with just the eyes cut out, cobbling along with both hands full. This is not a “path is the journey” sort of moment. I’m lucky if I can twitch out a head-nod or an elbow-wave to a passer-by.

It feels important to counteract the separation that has become synonymous with health and life. But I’d be lying if I said I was able to muster a greeting every time.

In our culture, masks (when not worn in a medical setting) often represent sinister actions—bandits or bank robbers or the KKK who want to hide defining features.

For many Asian countries, mask-wearing was a cultural norm even before the coronavirus outbreak. In East Asia, many people are used to wearing masks when they are sick or when it's hayfever season, because it's considered impolite to sneeze or cough in public.

The 2003 Sars virus outbreak, which affected several countries in the region, also drove home the importance of wearing masks, particularly in Hong Kong, where many died as a result of the virus. Says the BBC news: “One key difference between these societies and Western ones, is that they have experienced a contagion before—and the memories are still fresh and painful.”

I recently read a story about two black men who were wearing masks at Walmart—fully in compliance and trying to keep themselves safe—when they were accosted by police. It hit me like a whip how individualized each of us are experiencing this pandemic. I skoff at my mask because it’s a pain-in-the-ass. But I’ll never be faced with also having to weigh the risks of racial profiling.

Delving further, I read that to-mask-or-not-to-mask has become a way to take a political stance. Trump supporters carrying “My body, My choice” signs, with an illustration of a crossed-out mask—this is a common image to see in the media right now.

The Washington Post said: “Even as governors, mayors and the federal government urge or require Americans to wear masks in stores, transit systems and other public spaces to contain the spread of the novel coronavirus, the nation is divided about whether to comply. And it is divided in painfully familiar ways — by politics and by attitudes about government power and individual choice.”

So, clearly, it is about so much more than just a mask.

This just in.

In a press conference that took place a few days ago, April 20th, Governor Jared Polis and state epidemiologist Dr. Rachel Herlihy outlined how life may change in Colorado as soon as next week, when “shelter-in-place” shifts to “safer-at-home.” They are essentially the same, just with a select few businesses opening with strict distancing rules and incremental shifts toward less physical distancing over all. Polis mentions nothing different about mask-wearing. Meaning, still wear them in public, especially if you can’t get 6-feet-between, especially if you’ve been exposed or have symptoms.

I noticed an immediate difference on my walk following his announcement. There was a family of four playing frisbee in an open space without masks! My initial feeling was wait, WTF? (And yes, I realize we are living in a strange state of affairs for my initial reaction to a beautiful family frolicking in a field to be contempt.) There was a man throwing a ball for his dog in a park that still had many visible CLOSED signs—also NO MASK. (Again, WTF??) I then gave a wide, grassy birth to a group of mask-free bike riders.

I notice my mask feels more like a burden on my face without the unifying solidarity of everyone doing it. We all seem to be getting different memos.

There’s a huge relief that people are back to having faces, to be sure. I miss people. I love faces. But I have to admit that in spite of my hemming and hawing, I’d gotten used to feeling protected. It’s impossible to make sense of any of it. Even little Ruth came in yesterday and gave a tiny cough. “I’m sick,” she said, “Since I didn’t wear a mask today.”

Circling back to the facts, the only thing worth grasping at right now, I am challenged to find any bit of news to suggest that our household need to be wearing masks while out on walks—under any level of regulation thus far. Neither Jesse nor myself are working outside of the house. We don’t visit with friends or family. (Big sigh.* We miss everyone terribly.) The odds of us being silent carriers are beyond slim. We are not immuno-compromised. So wearing masks these last few weeks—while still on socially distanced walks—could probably be categorized as an act of cultural alignment, an act of doing everything we can for the cause.

As of right now, this moment, I do not see our mask-wearing as being impactful to our macro OR micro community. So, for the sake of preserving the sanity of our tiny culture for the long haul, I vote that we wear our beautifully-Jesse-crafted masks on our chins, like flattened feathers at the ready.

“As it (the “safer-at-home” regulations) rolls off April 27, we need to figure out how to run the marathon now that we’ve run the sprint,” Governor Polis said in his most recent press conference. “I hate to break it to you, but the easy part was the sprint.”

#momtemplative #HeatMamaWords #mindfulparenting #COVIDwords #masked

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she-is-tim · 6 years ago

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I love hating you | Elu enemies to lovers AU | Ch. 12

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 6.5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

Lucas is an angry, closeted and frustrated gay teenager, while Eliott is the handsome, smart and popular guy in school. They hate each other… but not forever.

Long time no see

Eliott heard the front door open, but he wasn’t going to pay any sort of attention to it. It was probably Lucille coming home from grocery shopping, She will probably yell at him again for smoking, but it’s the only thing that helps him through this shit. He blew out a large cloud of smoke, tearing his eyes from the drawings on the coffee table. Countless scetches of sad and scared hedgehogs. He wanted to rip out his own heart and throw it into the trash, so it wouldn’t be so damn difficult. Tears started to roll down on his cheeks and he kicked into the table, making some of the papers fall on the floor.

“Looks like someone’s grumpy.” he heard a voice from the entrance of the living room. He lazily turned his head, just to face with Sofiane. He could feel another knife stabbing right into his heart, spreading guilt all around his body. He haven’t talked to his best friend since days, he couldn’t even tell what day it was today.

“Hey.” that was all he could say, closing his eyes and leaning back on the couch, taking another drag from his joint.

“Long time no see, huh?” the boy walked in and coughed a little, inhaling some of the smoke that was floating around. “Jesus, how can you stay alive in here?”

“What do you want, Sofiane?” he asked now a bit more irritated than he actually planned, but he needed no babysitter to look out for him.

“I came to talk.” he explained and tried to took a deep breath which ended up in coughing again. He went to the window, opening it just enough to let the smoke leave the room. Eliott made an unpleasant noise, but didn’t get up to close the door. He was too tired and high to move from the couch. He liked to imagine that Lucas was there next to him, saying stupid stuff and complaining about the music he was playing. There was no music of course, but Eliott had a wild imagination, especially when it came to his beloved boy.

“So you’re not gonna talk to me now?” Sofiane asked and flopped down to the armchair across from Eliott. He looked at the ceiling and putting the blunt in the ashtray.

“Talk about what?” he asked, voice hoarse from all the smoking, eyes just slightly burning. “About how I fucked up? About how I scared the only person I love the most?” he was almost yelling now, feeling the tears building up, but he couldn’t let them overflow. Sofiane’s face turned into a painful grimace, seeing his friend like this made him worried and sad.

“You didn’t fuck it up, Eliott.” he sighed after a few minutes of silence, looking at the drawings on the table. “You have to talk to him.” he said seriously.

“No, I can’t.” he shook his head and pulled up his legs, wrapping his arms around his knees. “What I have to do is staying away from him.”

“Are you serious right now?” he raised his eyebrows, looking concerned.

Eliott rolled his eyes at his reaction. He can’t understand, he doesn’t know how it feels when you have no control over your actions, when things happen and you snap out, hurting the people you love in the process. He can’t let Lucas deal with all of that. He already had a mentally ill mother, he shouldn’t be dealing with another one. They are both young, their life just started, Lucas will be able to move on, maybe even fall in love with a guy that deserves him, a guy he deserves. Someone he could count on, he could rely on. Someone he doesn’t have to worry about every single day. Someone who is not gonna leave the hotel room in the middle of the night, completely naked.

“I talked to him, you know.” Sofiane said after realizing that his friend won’t be answering his question. This catched the boy’s attention and snapped his head up from the drawings, looking straight at Sofiane. His eyes were red, traced of dried tears showing on his face, his pupils were so wide the blue was barely visible around it.

“To Lucas?” he asked, barely noticing his own voice, it was distant and different.

“Yeah, to Lucas.” Sofiane sighed, rubbing his temple with two fingers now. His friend gave him a headache sometimes, but he knew that it wasn’t completely his fault, so he just let it slide. “He is not well...”

“You say that, but I saw the stuff on instagram.” Eliott cut him off quickly, grabbing his joint again, lighting with a match, because he couldn’t find his lighter. “He will be fine. He is already fine without me.” he explained, exhaling in the smoke, letting it fill his lungs and burning his throat. He closed his eyes as he let it out, enjoying the little numbness tht already started to take over his body.

“Come on, Eliott! You are going to judge someone’s mood by their insta updates?” he asked, leaning forward and placing his forearms on his knees. “I spoke to him, okay? And he is not okay. It was a dick move to block him everywhere.”

“You don’t get to tell me what is a dick move, okay?” he raised his voice now, his fingers closing around the still lit up joint, not caring that it was burning his palm. “I am not gonna risk everything! I’m not falling into the rabbit hole!” he continued and slammed his fist on the table. Sofiane looked at him, not even startling to his sudden violence.

“Yeah? I think you’re pretty late with that falling, Eliott.” Sofiane said on a serious tone. “I know you since a long time now, I’ve seen how you and Sophie got together, how you were acting around her...” he started and waved his hands to hush the other one when he tried to say something. “I saw you falling apart after what she did. Then you got back up, it took you a long time, but then I noticed the sparks in your eyes. It was similar to how you looked when you dated Sophie, but not the same. You were truly happy. And the way you talked to us about Lucas... That was something new.” he said, a soft smile appearing on his face. “I was glad, because you two seemed to be a perfect match and I still haven’t changed my mind about that. You are stubborn, not able to let go the past and move on completely. Not able to accept that there are people out there who are not going to leave you just because you’re bipolar.”

Silence fell on them as Sofiane finished his monologue. Eliott closed his eyes and dropped the ruined joint into the ashtray, now slightly feeling the pain where it burned his palm. He wanted to believe his friend so badly, but his brain kept screaming at him, that he have to stay away from Lucas, that he will just ruin his life. Everything he felt for him couldn’t protect the boy from what he is, a mess, a burden to everyone. He could see on their faces. His parents, Lucille, Sofiane. All of them were tired, worried, scared. Even after weeks passed since his last episode, they were still watching over him, like he would cut his veins open anytime. He can’t let Lucas turn into someone like that. Not when he had other options in his life.

Eliott was both happy and devastated when he saw the post Lucas made. He obviously blocked the boy on insta, but he wasn’t logged in on his laptop, which meant that he could check his profile without any problems. And he did that since he got out of his bed somewhere around tuesday evening. Since then he didn’t go back to his room, no matter how many times Lucille begged him to. He was staying on the couch, curled up, smoking and crying. Sometimes he grabbed a paper, pencils and drew another hedgehog, throwing on the table alongside the others. But he always checked Lucas’ instagram, until he saw his new picture with Yann. He felt both relief and a knife going deep into his heart, twisting a couple times to hurt even more. He smacked his laptop shut and tossed it to one of the armchairs, not touching it since.

He looked at his friend, who was just sitting there in silence, hands resting on his lap and his eyes gazing at the window. It was both endearing and annoying how Sofiane just didn’t leave right after that damned speech. He wanted to kick him out, but deep inside he liked to have someone around. Someone that wasn’t his overprotective sister.

His best friend’s presence was always filling his mind with calmness and he felt safe with him. Sofiane always made sure that Eliott has anything he needs to be better. When they were younger and they were fighting over something, it was always him taking the first move to make peace. And it was always Eliott who felt the worst, because how could he be mad at such a sunshine like Sofiane. Maybe that’s why he was so jealous when Lucas was alone with him in the Youth Center. He was afraid that the boy would see that there are much more better guys are out there, guys way better than Eliott. But Lucas chose him, multiple times and he really wanted to believe that things will be working, he was in love so much, he didn’t realize that he was slipping. Then shit happened and he ruined everything.

He groaned and grabbed his hair, pulling it as hard as he could, screaming his lungs out as he slipped from the couch down to the floor. Tears rolling down his cheeks uncontrollably. He closes his eyes, not wanting to deal with anything, fingers still holding onto his locks. His lungs are burning, but he can’t stop screaming. Not even when a warm body gets down to him, scooping him up into a tight hug. He lets his hair go and instead he grabs Sofiane’s shirt, burying his face into the crook of his neck, screaming and crying at the same time.

It took him hours to calm down, but Sofiane didn’t leave him for one second, he kept his arms around Eliott’s slim body, protecting him. His panic started to ease slowly, but his fingers were still gripping into his best friend’s shirt, not wanting to let go anytime soon. He sobbed into his chest, trying to speak, but he couldn’t, his throat was so sore and his lungs were burning so bad that he couldn’t force out a single word. Instead he just made quiet noises, closing his eyes. Sofiane let out a soft sigh and moved his hand up and down on Eliott’s back, rubbing it gently, which was actually really calming.

Another thirty minutes later Eliott was fully calm, just resting his head on Sofiane’s shoulder, breathing slowly. His hands slipped off of his shirt now just hanging by his sides. They were still sitting on the floor.

“Do you need anything?” Sofiane asked now softly, hoping to get an answer. The boy cleared his throat, swallowing a couple times.

“Some water.” he whispered, his voice was still kinda gone, so that was the best he could force out. His friend nodded, picking him up from the ground now and putting him down on the couch like he was a porcelain doll. Eliott both hated and liked to be handle like that.

“I’ll be right back.” he said with a soft smile, walking to the kitchen now.

Eliott tried to find a comfortable position, his legs were hanging over the armrest of the couch, so his head can be placed on the other armrest. He both hated and loved this couch. This was his safe place when he couldn’t stand staying in his room anymore. And it was filled with so much memories. Lucas sitting at the piano, playing silly songs, Lucas sitting on his lap and kissing his face everywhere, Lucas sleeping in the armchair with a textbook on his chest. Lucas snorring loudly after that horrible party, looking like a real dumbass while sleeping and Eliott still thought that he was the most beautiful human being he had ever seen in his life.

Sofiane came back with a bottle of water and a bright smile on his face. It was annoying how much of a fucking sunshine he could be within second. His face lit up even to the slightest of good things. It could be helpful when Eliott felt sad, being around such a positive person, but on his depressed periods, he could hate having him around. Right now he felt neutral. Just grabbing the water and chugging up half the bottle. Feeling already refreshed thanks to it.

“Feeling better?” Sofiane asked, sitting down in the armchair again.

“Can you put on some music?” Eliott asked now, ignoring the question completely and pointed at the bluetooth speaker on the bookshelf.

“Sure thing.” he said smiling and looked for a spotify playlist to start. It had some soft songs, instrumental, light rock, pop, anything that was chill. Eliott kinda liked it, so he just put down the water bottle and closed his eyes, letting himself drift off into the darkness, falling asleep slowly.

Eliott was staring at the picture for almost ten minutes now and honestly, he wanted to bash his head into the keyboard of his laptop. Seeing how fine Lucas was already made his heart hurt even more. He knew that this was the best for the boy and that he was the one who pushed Lucas away, but he still had any rights to be upset, especially cause he missed everyone from the flat. He missed his evening games with Mika, their movie nights with everyone, Lisa’s soft complains when he and Lucas was making out on the couch. But he missed Lucas more than anything. His soft touches, his voice, his hugs and just being around him. Eliott felt like he is drowning, dark clouds surrounding him, trying to suffocate him.

He sighed and closed his laptop angrily, grabbing a scetchbook and starting to draw. This time he wasn’t going to make another hedgehog doodle, but one with a raccoon. He had to put his feelings on paper, to get rid of them. It was his way to express himself and to help coping with the burning pain that was eating up his heart. He tried a lot of times, but somehow he couldn’t grab into the feeling that surrounded him. It was hard to describe and even harder to draw. He tried to put on some music, smoking a cigarette, but it didn’t really help. He got mad and threw the scetchbook across the room, letting it land on the floor.

He hated how tidy everything was. Lucille kept cleaning up, throwing out the crumpled papers, beer bottles, emptying the ashtray and shit like that. At least he was glad that she wasn’t being nosy and trying to hide his cigarettes this time. She learned her lessons and Eliott wasn’t a kid anymore, he was already 18.

An hour later, like a lightning struck he knew what he had to draw, so he fetched another scetchbook, hence the other one was still lying on the floor too far from him to even try to get to it and he started to draw. When he was done, he was struggling whether he should put it on instagram or not, but his depressed mind wanted to shout at the world that it’s their fault he’s feeling bad. He took a deep breath, taking a photo of the drawing, editing it a little and then uploading it to his insta with no caption.

He couldn’t remember when he fell back asleep again, but he woke up to a nice melody. First it was like it’s coming from far away, like a distant sound, but as he got more conscious, the melody got louder and louder. He could recognize that it was piano music and he wanted to kill the person that dared to put that on while he was so depressed. Both Lucille and Sofiane knew how much he wanted to avoid listening to piano, since it only reminded him of Lucas. Another few agonizing minutes he wanted to just get up and turn off the music, but as he opened his eyes and looked to the side, he saw someone sitting at the piano.

First he didn’t believe his eyes, he thought that this is just a dream, so he let himself enjoy the view. He could notice that beautiful, messy hair anytime, even from behind. Lucas was wearing dark jeans and a dark grey shirt. He didn’t look at Eliott, he was busy playing a beautiful melody which made the tall boy’s heart beat faster. He could feel all the emotions the boy was trying to show with his play. It was so passionate, slow but somehow still fast, romantic and endearing. It was just full of love and Eliott couldn’t believe that this was reality.

He slowly sat on up the couch, watching his beloved boy running his fingers on the piano keys, making beautiful sounds with it. His heart was beating faster. He haven’t seen Lucas since that doomed saturday and it was so unreal. He was still so beautiful, his hair seemed soft like always, the veins popped through his skin as he played and Eliott was stunned by them. He had a sudden urge to reach out and touch them, but he got startled when the boy finished playing and turned around. He was just a little surprised to see that Eliott was awake, then a soft smile appeared on his face.

“You know what this music is called?” he asked softly, without greeting, just into the middle. Eliott liked that a lot, he had to admit.

“No.” he mumbled and rubbed his eyes a little, making sure that this is, in fact the reality. “Could you tell me?” he asked on a surprisingly soft tone. That’s why he didn’t wanted to meet him, because he couldn’t push him away when he was basically melting in his presence. A playful smirk appeared on the short boy’s face, hitting Eliott right in the heart.

“It’s called I love you.” he said proudly, turning his whole body towards Eliott and he seemed a bit more shy, some redness appearing on his cheeks. “You know why I played this piece?” he asked and Eliott swallowed, trying to control his fast breathing and wiping his sweaty hands in his black sweatpants. He couldn’t force out a word, so he just decided to shook his head. Lucas sighed and looked down at his hands that were resting in his lap, then he looked at Eliott. “Because I love you.” he said seriously now, his blue eyes full of determination and something else. Eliott’s heart skipped a beat, or even two, he didn’t know, but tears started to build up in his eyes.

“I love you too.” he whispered, which made the other boy smile at him brightly.

Guys! I can’t tell you enough how much I love all of you and appreciate all the nice messages, all the likes and comments I get from you because of this story. Sadly this one is getting to its end, but I hope you guys will bear with me in the future. I have some ideas and I really hope you will love them. Bisous

#Skam France #I love hating you #Elu enemies to lovers au #Eliott Demaury #Lucas Lallemant #Sofiane Alaoui #Eliott x Lucas

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paperclipninja · 5 years ago

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Younger post-ep ramble 6x05

If I wasn’t already excited about this episode, discovering that ‘Stiff Competition’ was written by Joe Murphy certainly would have got me there. Maybe it’s because he is a fellow Australian or maybe it’s because in every interview I’ve heard I find him utterly delightful and intelligent or maybe it’s because he is a damn great writer, but one thing is certain after this week’s episode of Younger: J. Murphy, I Stan (there was a time I might have been embarrassed about gushing so unabashedly but now I write weekly essays about fake people so I figure the shame level is zero at this point). This ep had the combination of playfulness, funny, flirty and drama that hooked me into this show in the first place and I feel like we got further insight into a number of characters, broadening our understanding of them and where they’re at. Plus kudos must be given for managing to use the title “Stiff Competition” and make the feature book “The Third Leg” in the same ep (one might even call it a riDICKulous feat…and no I’m not even a bit sorry).

A couple of weeks back I wrote about the Liza and Charles dynamic and how it really thrives on the build and resolution of tension. Up until last season it was the sexual tension and now that’s resolved there needed to be something to keep the fuel on the fire, so to speak. Cue the opening scene of this ep, with the competitive fuel well and truly lit and honestly, this whole scene just rocks my world. We had the drama building the past few eps with Charles being secretive and while that would’ve resulted in the destruction of the relationship had it been left unresolved, it has been used to transition into this next type of competitive cat-and-mouse style tension that the characters are embracing (at the start anyway) and using to their benefit and, let’s be honest, we all benefit because it. is. HOT.

Walking into the National Arts Club party very quickly establishes Charles as well versed at such an event and I am so into the immediate retort from Liza that feisty isn’t the ‘f’ word she would choose to describe Charles setting up Mercury. That does of course come after Charles introduces her to Michael Cunningham as his girlfriend which is just so bizarre to hear but also YES. Their banter, the competiveness in the art of the schmooze, bringing her A game; the whole thing set them on such equal footing and seeing them as ass-slapping sparring partners was something I never knew I needed and could have watched an entire episode of with its feature film feel (Kickstarter for a spin-off series of nerdy espionage-style escapades but about books and authors and literary events…and maybe the odd murder to keep it interesting).

While Liza was certainly showing that she can work a room, Charles’ reputation and professionalism was on fine display as authors greeted him warmly and Liza’s introduction of him to Meg Wolitzer as her boyfriend (seriously I’m living for these gf/bf drops) just got more and more awks as Meg and Charles clearly knew each other, Liza snatched his business card from his hand and then asked the photographer to identify him as her ‘guest’ in the pic (loved Sutton’s delivery of this and extra loved Meg’s ‘just pretend you’re talking to me’ to the rando so she could get away from the slightly unhinged antics of the editor she just met). Yet Charles is loving every minute of it and I so appreciate that now the whole Mercury situation is no longer a secret Charles is talking openly about it with Liza, evidenced by his telling her he received a message from Zane (about Mercury being highbrow/brilliant nonetheless).

Where there is highbrow there must be lowbrow (old tv proverb) and unfortunately for Kelsey, the head without a neck aka ‘a floating tragedy’, she has taken prime position in that quadrant of New York Mag’s approval matrix (can we take a moment to appreciate Liza’s ‘well it is a good picture of him’ remark re: Charles? Way to make your friend feel better but also lol and accurate). While I sympathise with how stressful it must be to lose authors, this ep once again highlights that our pal Kels is in quite the spiral. Luckily Liza has managed to pull in Chip and Joanna Gaines, I mean Hayley and Cameron Butler, who are promoting their cringe-worthy new book, ‘The Third Leg’, off the back of their New York Flip success. I heart the way this show parodies real people so hard.

I have said it week after week, but Diana has been such a scene stealer this season (Diana Trout proudly pointing out Shiplap, I don’t know why but this just made me grin). The writers keep bringing it with the lines and Miriam Shor’s delivery somehow magically seems to get funnier and funnier and her heart eyed gaze as she recounts her and Enzo’s third leg(s) (like a centipede…but also nothing like a centipede, speaking of A+ lines and delivery) was no exception. The whole pitch meeting was a bit of a train wreck, with Kelsey’s bitterness about the hot or not list spilling in, Liza’s attempt at diverting resulting in Diana railroading the entire thing and Liza wondering if she and Charles are in fact lacking the third leg (Empiriconda notwithstanding) that two home reno celebs have deemed a necessary factor in a successful r/ship (though theirs hardly seems the picture of happiness unless #relationshipgoals is taking jabs at each other through strained grins).

One relationship I am digging on every level is Josh and Lauren’s and this week’s ep gave us a mighty fine dose. Of course Lauren set up a GemmaLoves Insta and I’m 100% willing to overlook the slight ickiness of her pushing a SM account for the baby without asking Josh because it’s Lauren and she is sublime and also without it we would not have had THE film-worthy (minus the butt plugs) montage. I freaking adore that Lauren is so unapologetic about promoting stuff and getting freebies and Josh’s stance on not letting his daughter be a pusher for consumerism lasts approx. 25 seconds as Lauren points out all of Gemma’s favourite things that she will happily take back (Josh’s ‘but she loves it’ was just too good). Lauren’s declaration that both Josh and Gemma are gonna get free swag ‘and ya both gonna love it’ (the Eleanor Shellstrop vibe is strong and I approve) leads us into the shopping montage that made me want to dance around my lounge room and could sit comfortably in any rom-com from the late 90’s/early 2000’s. From ‘Baby Love’ to Josh and Lauren feeding each other cupcakes to that glorious moment of Josh parading back and forth on the pavement like a chorus boy, I bow down to Younger pulling rabbits like this out of the creative hat six seasons in, it was just such damn fun.

You know what else I adore? That throughout the series we have seen so many different aspects of Diana’s character and we just keep seeing more and more layers peeled back through her relationship with Enzo. I am so enjoying the side of her we see being open about her feelings for him when she’s around others, then the way she is with him; proud of their relationship then honest about her disappointment that they have to cancel dinner, rather than shutting down and pretending she doesn’t care. Enzo offering to buy Diana any necklace she chooses made my cold dead heart swell with the sincerity and sweetness of it all, but Diana revealing that she does not choose her necklaces, they choose her = the revelation I didn’t know I’ve been waiting six seasons to hear. Not to be dramatic but it felt like coming home.

Side note: I’m finding the parallels between the Diana/Enzo and Liza/Charles relationships really interesting. I don’t know whether it’s deliberate or not but these two couples navigating relationships in their 40’s, trying to strike a balance between career ambition and their personal relationships, I am beyond desperate for Diana to know about Liza’s age and for these two to talk about it all tbh.

Speaking of balancing career and relationship, can we please talk about the dinner date because sweet lawd, my heart was already full from the Diana/Enzo goodness, but then along came Liza and Charles with this whole out together with the authors situation and quite frankly, I’m surprised I survived. Bringing together the book and the earlier meeting was just so well done and the moment Hayley dropped the ‘and you’ and we discover that Charles had indeed gushed about Liza and their shared love of books as their third leg (still sounds weird and gross but totally worth it for the sentiment and post-dinner tie in), I too was staring at my screen the way Liza looked at Charles, but I was also a little bit deceased because I am romantic trash and him casually rubbing her back almost did me in.

I feel like each ep is adding another dimension to Charles this season and seeing him relaxed and candid outside the restaurant was certainly another insight into this character. The entire interaction between him and Liza was effortless and I love that it went from Liza ribbing him about using their relationship to secure the book to Charles being so frank about where it’s all at and how he’s feeling (and does anyone else hope a little bit that Charles does end up needing that room in Liza’s bed coz I am very on board with the idea of C. Brooks living in that loft for a while for many reasons). Bring on lusty Charles and I kid you not I let out a little scream of delight at Liza noting his excitement and then heading straight for the cab (yes Charles, she is just going to leave you like this). Thank you Joe Murphy for the ep and the book title combo so Liza could remind Charles competition is stiff out there while glancing at his crotch and telling him to take care of the third leg himself, you truly are doing God’s work. And I’m just all ‘round loving seeing these two adults in a relationship being flirty and lustful and open with one another.

I have to put it out there that Liza’s hustle game is so damn strong this whole ep and as she is questioned by Kelsey and Diana about how Charles is getting all these authors, I a) am very glad she does not blab, b) find it interesting that Kelsey assumes that Liza mustn’t know if she hasn’t told her and c) wonder why Liza is the only one who seems to understand that other publishing houses will be vying for books and that Millennial will lose some fair and square. But Liza once again has another potential author lined up in the musical prodigy turned conductor Gloria Rivera, but this is Younger, we’ve had lots of fun, flirty and funny, so it must be time for the drah-mah.

The moment Liza ran into Charles at the concert I think we all knew the competition might have just about run its course, and I had legit second-hand embarrassment as Liza so confidently gloated she had been in touch with Gloria ‘for months’ in response to Charles’ knowing her ‘quite well’, though Charles clearly wanted to explain further as he said he wanted to talk after the show before the lights go down and Liza needs to get to her seat. Insert appropriate amount of unimpressed for both Kelsey and Diana and it all goes south pretty quickly once Diana discovers that Gloria was the recipient of the Brooks family Arts Scholarship so knowing Charles ‘pretty well’ is a bit of an understatement.

Now I get that it must feel like a series of blows and I also get that we need a way for Kelsey and Diana to be at the axe throwing bar so that whole scene can play out, but for them to both bail on Liza and not even try to convince Gloria to sign with Millennial, I mean, you’re not going to get any authors with that attitude ladies. At this point Liza should just bail and start her own damn company, give it a great name starting with ‘M’, maybe Majesty? Mendacity? Or Mitosis and she can just expand quickly and open identical offices all over the place? Either way, Liza had no time for Charles’ girlfriend game post-show (and it is clear here that to Charles it is still just a game and he hasn’t quite clocked that to Liza this is her career being compromised).

While I think Diana and Kelsey leaving Liza to make a last ditch pitch to Gloria solo was a low blow, seeing them together, rage throwing axes while drunk (I both love and am terrified of the idea of people drinking and axe throwing in one place FYI) was pretty damn great. These two are always so messy together and Diana taking off her earrings and prepping only to have such a terrible axe throw was only surpassed by her saying that she tells people Enzo is a surgeon which is why he’s on call and Kelsey offering up that they both wear gloves. LOL. And Diana Trout peeing beside a dumpster is one thing I never thought I’d see on this show, yet here we are and her ‘I don’t know her’ and running away from the cop when Kelsey produces the axe was ridiculous and excellent and a great excuse for some chin-skin holding mugshots.

My one gripe at the mo is the ongoing distrust Kelsey has of Liza, first at the axe bar asking Diana if she thinks Liza is helping Charles land these authors and then when Liza turns up after Enzo has bailed them (can we just pause a moment to appreciate the ongoing mafia jokes since their first date and also Enzo calling Diana a jailbird and her smitten reaction. I heart it all). Seriously, this is just yawn at this point and while I get that Kelsey is scared (and thank you Liza for pointing out that she’s not the only one) surely Liza is over having to prove time and time again how loyal she is only to have Kelsey continue to question it? I know I am. Again, Liza – ‘Mitosis’. Think about it.

Our Maggie moment this ep is of course just prior to the déjà vu of Liza and Josh chilling on the couch with Gemma, a little throw-back to the cacao-induced dream from last season’s finale. But I gotta say, my heart hurt for Charles when he walked into that awkward af loft situation, because while I have no doubt that Liza is solid in her feelings for Charles, seeing your girlfriend in a super domestic looking moment with her ex has to feel like a kick in the guts. I want to bottle the look Liza gave Josh when he said ‘you two seem good’ because if I could whip that out on demand, it would be mighty useful.

The final moments of this week’s ep certainly heightened the drama all round. I feel like this episode really highlighted the insecurity of both Kelsey and Charles, which puts Liza in the interesting position of having to navigate this with two people she loves but also put her foot down for her own sake at some stage. Liza immediately quashes any concerns Charles may have about being in competition with Josh and uses the baby’s inability to talk ergo. steal authors as a way to broach the ongoing company rivalry. As Charles reveals that Gloria will be signing with Millennial, it is evident it is all still a bit of a game to him (though him saying that all he cares about is that he doesn’t lose her, ugh *heart emoji*) until his true take on it all is revealed, that he sees it all as shared victories rather than rivalry. Eeek, I tell you, I get and appreciate the dick theme of this episode but I struggle with the dick line ‘when you get to the bottom line, it’s still all me’ so much. I had an actual physical reaction to how awful this was and it certainly was not something I imagined this character saying. Yet I do think it also gives credence to the type of man Pauline said she was married to.

It felt insecure, like he was trying to talk himself up in some kind of misguided attempt to sound impressive, but it also was a glimpse of the man whose ambition contributed to the demise of his marriage. Pauline herself said that when they got married she thought they would be a team but right away it was all about Charles and she was there just to be his rock (S5E3). The difference now of course is that unlike Pauline, Liza has called him out on it and in the final second, the expression on Charles’ face (it’s gutted for those playing at home) is hopefully one of realisation that he is repeating behaviours of the past and that moving forward, we see that realisation play out and this character develop.

I have no idea how the rest of this season is going to play out but you know what all this drama and intrigue pave the way for? Growth. Liza’s growth as she becomes more sure of herself and her right to decide and demand what she wants and deserves, who she wants, what she will and won’t stand for, Charles to learn from past mistakes and work to redeem those and think about the kind of man and partner he wants to be, no character’s growth has been as glorious to see unfold up until now as Diana’s and I’m sure this will continue and Kelsey...well I’m sure hers will come. We’re almost halfway people and season six is proving to be quite the ride.

#youngertv #younger tv #ramble #review #6x02 #liza miller #charles brooks #kelsey peters #diana trout #liza x charles #diana x enzo #team charles #younger season 6

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inazumine · 6 years ago

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Sameness in Difference: EnKi Things

Okay, so like, hear me out for a second.

There’s one pairing in Inazuma Eleven that I think codifies the “enemy turned rival turned friend” dynamic, and was the first in the series to do so. From the start, these two have been defined by their similarities despite coming from vastly different worlds, and are equals that understand each other in a way no one else quite does, and grow to support each other on every front. That pairing, is EnKi (Endou x Kidou)

(WARNING: Another long ass post, even longer than the first one and straight trash.)

To begin an analysis of EnKi worth its salt, I feel as though we have to first understand who Kidou is, and the context through which he operates in the beginning of the series before the Teikoku v. Raimon match, then compare it to who Kidou becomes by the end of the series. Endou fundamentally changes Kidou’s world view and helps him reconcile the divide between his role as a soccer player and his feelings as a person.

Kidou begins the series as “Teikoku’s Commander” and “Kageyama’s Protégé”, our first taste of the level of soccer that Inazuma puts on full display, and a demonstration of the level of cruelty that can come out of the sport. Kidou only explicitly says it far later in season 3, but as viewers we see that his origin as a soccer player, at least through his eyes, begins with Kageyama and his teachings, and that’s something he struggles to separate himself from as the series continues. Kidou and Kageyama both see Kidou as someone who stands above others, with other weaker schools and even his Teikoku teammates on a level below him to be subjugated. Until a certain point, that worldview was never called in to question. That is, until the first game with Raimon.

God Hand shocked everyone on the field and in the audience, but it was Endou’s determination that broke expectations, and that’s what Kidou latched on to in his interest. It’s Endou’s tenacity and simple mindedness that breaks Kidou’s calculated expectations. Just the way Endou interacts with Kidou, with pure enthusiasm as an equal without formalities and without restraint, is why Kidou’s barriers start to come down and he starts calling the role of ”Kageyama’s Protégé” in to question: Rather than the Commander’s soccer, what is Kidou Yuuto’s soccer? Kidou is constantly in Kageyama’s shadow, and it’s Endou that starts to pull him out of it.

Initially, Kidou and Endou looked like completely opposite sides of the spectrum, but once Kidou starts to shed some of Kageyama’s influence, he returns to Kidou Yuuto’s values. Like Endou, Kidou loves to be challenged and he wants to play soccer giving everything he has on an equal playing field, because soccer is now again something fun, and not just something to win and dominate. And Endou knows this, he knows that despite how Kidou initially seemed, that Kidou is more than Kageyama’s copy and has his own way of doing things. Outside of Teikoku, Endou is the first person to truly trust in Kidou for what he is past “Teikoku’s Commander” and “Kageyama’s Protégé”.

After Teikoku’s defeat, Kidou seems to develop a strong amount of trust in Endou as a rival, and then as a friend. Kidou seems to continuously marvel at how Endou is able to answer to Kidou’s worldview with his simplicity, and after a while it’s something he’s able to confide in.

(Okay sidebar gonna talk about episode 17 now it’s liKE MY FAVORITE ONE IN THE WHOLE SHOW)

In episode 17, Kidou really puts on full display how much Endou affects him. I don’t know how many people have actually visited Kidou’s home, something’s telling me not many if any, and it’s telling that Kidou invites Endou on the spot without even having known him for what at that point must’ve been a few weeks maybe? He also divulges his family situation, which he says he explicitly hasn’t told anyone before. When Endou says that Kidou and he are the same, it’s a big moment because until that point Kidou had acknowledged that distance between himself and others, and had started to envy Endou and his soccer where there is no concept of it, just pure hearted feelings for the fun of the game. It brings Kidou to a point where he can start to engage with the world differently, and as he says later, begin looking for the soccer that fit him over the one Kageyama prescribed all this time. Endou continuously ignores the distance that Kidou seems to have put between himself, his soccer, and other people, and strips him of anything that isn’t explicitly Kidou Yuuto.

Gouenji goes on to tell Kidou that he’s only ever looked at Endou from the front, which means as an enemy but also has the implied meaning of “at a distance”, and asks him to let Endou look after his back. Letting him look after his back means so much, because it means not just joining the team, but Kidou learning to let his walls down and be looked after. You can clearly see Teikoku is supportive and works together as a well-oiled unit, but at Raimon there’s an emphasis on covering for each other’s weaknesses, and it’s Kidou admitting to himself that he has weaknesses that’s a big step in learning how to play alongside others, and not just in front of them. Endou is a captain but he’s also a friend, and that’s what Kidou needs.

(LMAO Gouenji stop trying to be cool)

Fast forward a bit to season 2 where Endou and Raimon are up against a threat they can’t even conceive of. They’re getting battered and beat up left and right, teammates are starting to break down and leave, and Endou is beginning to grow weary and question himself and his decisions. Yet still, there’s one person who continues to hold fast and completely trust in him and his world view, who stays until the end and beyond and never once stops supporting Endou and his vision, and it’s not even Endou himself, it’s Kidou.

Throughout season 2, we see Kidou continue to change in this same way, where he stops distancing himself from others and grows closer to Endou and Raimon as a whole. There’s more moments of Kidou goofing off with everyone, loosening up and being dorky, and just smiling and acting like, y’know he’s 14 and not 30. Here more than ever is where Kidou and Endou truly seem like close friends and equals, when Endou starts getting down on himself and can’t really find anyone else to talk to, especially about Gouenji’s departure.

I really wish we saw more of Kidou and Teikoku interacting, especially him and Sakuma/Genda so I could have a little more to go off when trying to analyze how Kidou is with them vs how Kidou is with Raimon, but for now I can say I think it’s because it’s Endou that Kidou doesn’t have to posture or act like a commander, and this is even supported by Sakuma during the training for Death Zone 2: “You’re more yourself at Raimon.”

(He’s looking at Endou oh god WHAT A SOFT SMILE)

Speaking of Teikoku, we all remember the nightmare that was Shin Teikoku in season 2. At this point in the series, Kidou’s been removed from Kageyama and is given space to breathe, but it hasn’t even been close to long enough for the trauma to subside, which is why seeing Fudou, Sakuma, and Genda like this is such a big hit to his psyche.

Kageyama seeks control, and his obsession with Kidou leads him to hurting his friends as collateral damage, because people like Sakuma and Genda are expendable if it means getting Kidou to realize where he belongs. This is straight up emotional abuse and midst Kidou trying to fight against Kageyama’s grip, he in turn loses control of himself and is caught between trying to protect his friends from destroying their futures, win the game for Raimon’s sake, and beat Kageyama for his own sanity to reaffirm why he walked away in the first place. Alas, things don’t end cleanly, and Kidou is forced to push it all aside for the sake of beating Aliea… until season 3.

Season 3 is truly a test of Kidou’s and Endou’s mental strength, and moving forward to be better leaders for Inazuma Japan, and this is where we really see how parallel Endou and Kidou’s stories become. Endou has to deal with growing out of his his grandfather’s shadow, and Kidou has to deal with growing out of Kageyama’s shadow, seeing if Endou Daisuke’s grandson and Kageyama’s protégé live up to and can progress past their legacies.

Kidou thinks Kageyama is well and gone by this point, and even still just the thought of Fudou being a national team member sends Kidou back in to questioning if he’ll ever really be free of Kageyama and all the progress he’d thought he’d made in spite of his origins as Kageyama’s protégé. It only gets worse as we see that Kageyama is still alive and influencing the events of the FFI to get rid of Inazuma Japan and control soccer for good. Kidou plunges back right in to Kageyama’s clutches and goes forward futilely struggling against him with no direction, forgetting about how much of himself he’s become since he broke away from Kageyama all those months ago.

For Endou, if his reason was to take down Kageyama for his grandfather’s suffering, it would be understandable, but it isn’t. He knows how Kidou is struggling and what Kageyama does to him, and he wants to be there for him more than anything else. Endou moved past Kageyama’s hold over him way back in season 1, and whereas Endou is able to move on and focus on playing his soccer that lies ahead, Kidou is stuck in his past. It takes a kick in the face (metaphorically) from Fudou for Kidou to realize this, and it’s none other than Endou who’s literally next to him for Kidou to finally get the push he needs to reject Kageyama’s influence over him for good. It’s Endou’s influence that has pushed Kidou forward all this time, and he wants to keep going that way, with Endou and Inazuma Japan right next to him helping him walk his own path. Endou helps pull Kidou away from his past and focus on the present, what he can do for now over contemplating what he couldn’t do because of yesterday.

As always, I have to state that this isn’t a one-sided ship. Like I said earlier, Kidou is the first and longest-lasting rival (in terms of episodes anyway) that Endou has in the series, and Endou returns that trust and confidence in Kidou almost immediately and ten times over. Endou sees Kidou as a close friend that has stayed beside him since the beginning, and is beyond grateful for his support in leading Raimon and Inazuma Japan, especially in season 3. He may not be able to wax poetic like Kidou can, but there have been more than enough occasions where Endou has gone starry-eyed over how cool Kidou is, or explodes at the thought that Kidou is anything less than amazing.

(I’M NOT CRYING, YOU ARE)

As captains Endou and Kidou share a bond that not many in the series can lay claim to, and they understand each other in so many ways even though they have almost completely opposite personalities and upbringings. Both Endou and Kidou know the burden of being a captain, and Kidou knows exactly when Endou’s frustrated or troubled, and often for what reason (ie. Before and after the Kidokawa match, Aphrodi’s sudden visit, during like the entire second season.)

Kidou plays a support role to Endou’s captainship, being the brains behind Raimon’s success, and laying out plans of attack to supplement Endou’s motivational role. For someone like Kidou, who’s been so used to leading his entire life, I can’t imagine that wasn’t hard to get used to, but he does it wholeheartedly because he trusts Endou and is there to back him up, not usurp him. Endou in turn knows most intimately about what kind of things Kidou struggles with, and fights him whenever he starts to get self-deprecating because, in his words, Kidou is amazing. He sticks to Kidou’s side when he needs him and does his best as one of his closest friends.

For Endou, Kidou has been a friend and an amazing guy since the beginning, something that never changes, and for Kidou, Endou goes from Raimon’s idiot captain to his best friend, and his captain that he’ll follow no matter what.

That’s because he’s Endou Mamoru!

I think the best thing about EnKi is just how much Kidou adores Endou and how much he tries to be his support after he joins Raimon. I mean, Kidou legit says the sweetest things, like how “pure-hearted and straightforward” Endou is, and you can see how much he explicitly trusts Endou, not just his skills, but that because it’s Endou he’ll do everything in his power to help his friends and win with them all. There’s so many times where Endou’s capability and prowess as a goalkeeper and a captain get called in to question, especially in the second season where Endou goes through some of the toughest times in the series, and Kidou will usually be the first person to be like “nope, you’re wrong” and state his unwavering confidence in Endou. It’s almost like Endou’s modified Kidou’s internal logic: Endou’s drive and optimism have broken down Kidou’s calculated expectations so many times that as soon as you introduce Endou in to the equation, Kidou’s like “ah, of course” and knows Endou will move them toward the best case scenario.

(HE’S SMITTEN, LOOKING AT THE SUN)

ANYWAY, I think this has gotten long enough. Tl;dr, Endou and Kidou are almost two sides of the same coin even if they don’t seem like it in the very beginning. Endou and Kidou both think the other is the best thing since sliced bread, and they help and support each other through being captain’s and trying to handle more stress than I feel like middle schooler’s should ever have to. They mirror each other in a lot of ways, and through their differences make up for where the other can’t to help themselves and their teams move forward, going from enemies to best friends.

As always, whether or not you ship them romantically or platonically or none at all, I feel like their relationship is important and I hope you guys do too!

#Inazuma Eleven #ie11 #enki #endou mamoru #kidou yuuto #oh shit here we go #have you ever just written 2000 words and you're like #wow i've said absolutely nothing oh joy #i started this MONTHS AGO #and college got in the way and screwed up my post schedule #This should've been posted on 1/14 #*cries*#anyway I'm sorry for this and everything #ugh i hope you guys don't hate my thoughts I just had to get them out

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koi-sims-spoops · 5 years ago

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[Fantastical Tales of Spoops Episode 1: BBQ of DEATH]

So a few days after the pool party, Corrin and Loki decided to have a barbecue for the folks that couldn’t make it to the big day. The guests had arrived, Corrin had just got home from work, and everything was going well according to plan. That was...until guests started dropping dead left, right, and center. No one had any idea what was going on and seriously thought it was a joke until... The Grim Reaper showed up.

Grim: ‘Sup.

Apparently, the sight of the Reaper sent everyone into a shock of fear and sadness and like...two more people died. Seriously. It was Deathday 3000 at the Laine place.

Corrin was making drinks at the time but...He just...had...in the span of five minutes he had seen more than he’d ever bargained to see. Ever. E V E R.

This is the face of a man who has officially seen some next level shit.

Several sim hours [and many visits to MCCC later], the barbecue was back to normal. Like. Seriously. Everyone is eating and drinking and chatting like death didn’t just clean everyone’s collective clock.

Loki, though the power of love and friendship [yup], had brought all his friends and family back from the dead! NICE ONE!

Alvin: Thanks for the undeath, son.

Loki: I got you, fam.

Loki: What was dying like?

Alvin: Cold, and dark, and feeling like I pee’d my pants.

Loki: No, that last one really happened.

Alvin: ...Oh.

Needless to say, The Grim Reaper was NOT happy. He took out his supernatural frustration on the trashcan because for real for real, he wasn’t gonna have any luck messing with sentient beings [in this storyline].

Pummeling the trashcan wasn’t enough however, so he turned his attention to Loki and though there was no face to speak of, that raised thin, bony finger and indignant posture said plenty.

Grim: How DARE you! Who do you think you are! I should reap you all and take you straight to Hell were you belong, you insufferable-

Tristan: Hey Trevor! We gotta get a post-death-undeath selfie!

Trevor: Hell yeah man! Put that on SG! Caption that: “Just cheated death, what have you done today?”

Tristan: Ooo, I like that! Aangeeeee! *click*

Grim: ......... *sigh* Why? Why would you do this? Do you KNOW how much paperwork I’m going to have now? MOUNTAINS. MOUNTAINS OF PAPERWORK thanks to you! I work HARD at what I do, you know. You think this is easy, reaping souls? I run all over the maps, sometimes have to be in literally hundreds of places at once. And it doesn’t stop there. I have to CULL the spirits that just-wont-LEAVE. And THAT’S not easy either, but at least I get the satisfaction of a job well done at the end of the day. And now you’ve done this. You’ve ruined EVERYTHING.

Grim: I hate you.

Loki: Come oooooooon, Grim, don’t be like that! In all fairness, you crashed my barbecue!

Grim: ...

Loki: You clearly won’t be gettin a wink of sleep tonight, hang out for a bit!

Grim: I do not sleep.

Loki: Good! Now you don’t have an excuse to leave!

After much coaxing, The Grim Reaper decided to stay and chat and even accepted an autograph once he found out Loki was famous.

Grim: Thank you. I am still going to reap you when the time comes.

Loki: Aaaahahaha...fat chance, man~. *winks at Sim God* [Oh you~]

Meanwhile, Brant has yet to come down from this traumatic event and just remained standing catatonic on the picnic table. I mean...he did see his brother die, so I get it but...everyone is okay, Brant.

Everyone is okay.

**********

Exhausted from the day, after getting Brant to finally get off the table and go home, Corrin and Loki retired to their beds, though Corrin said very little for the rest of the night. Whether or not he too was in shock, or just amazed that he is probably the first goth (no relation to the Willow Creek Goths) ever to have actually met death while still alive was anyone’s guess. Probably a little of column A, little of column B.

Death decided to chalk today up as a learning experience and just let it go. Sure the paperwork would be hell, but he could do with the break from reaping, and having to deal with Mike, his insufferable reaping intern who’d been shadowing him for weeks. Luckily, Mike was out sick today. Grim didn’t need this spreading around the office faster than was necessary.

As a final act of charity, he took out Corrin and Loki’s trash, neatly depositing it into the bin that could still stand upright.

Grim: ...One day. One day, I’ll get ‘im. But I think I can let him go on for a while longer.

Grim: He’s a cheeky bastard but dammit...he’s got charisma. Could use a man like him around the office. Maybe I’ll put in a good word. Who knows.

Grim: ....I’m watching you, Loki Laine.

***************************************

Author’s Notes:

I just wanna say that...I did not set ANY of that up. Like...no pose packs, no MCCC (until I revived everyone) and The Grim Reaper was LEGIT ANGRY. I’m not lyin, I swear. That has to have been the CRAZIEST thing I’ve ever seen in my save games. My favorite part is definitely where Tristan and Trevor took that selfie in the background. I was WEEPING. TOTALLY AUTONOMOUS.

I’m not even sure how and why anyone died to begin with! I do have theories though. Trevor, Alvin, and Tristan were angry when they came back as ghosts, and Jun was sad. So I think that Trevor, being the butthole he is, was being REALLY mean to Jun and Jun died from sadness. Alvin and Tristan got SO MAD at Trevor that they died, too. From there, everyone else just died of sadness from their deaths.

Airrin, the dark elf in the fedora, was the only sim I managed to bring back legally, and trust, I tried with ALL OF THEM before I resorted to cheating. I just couldn’t let them die yet. It wasn’t anyone’s time.

So sayth thy Sim God.

#sims 4 #sims 4 story #fantastical tales of spoops #the adventures of corrin and loki #MCCC #non canon #modded #loki and corrin

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synthient · 6 years ago

Note

Could you elaborate on what you mean about Death T re stanning and fairness? It sounds interesting and I'd love to hear about it if you don't mind sharing.

ajhfakj hoo boy. Okay.

So some time around the summer before last (judging by the point where the first baffled and frustrated readmores start showing up on this blog), I read Death-T. It made me feel…some kind of way. An…unpleasant kind of way.

Here’s the thing about me: I can’t just let myself have an emotional reaction to a piece of fiction. I have to, first, pick apart my own emotions to figure out why I had that reaction, and second, pick apart the story to figure out how it works and how it made me feel that way.

On the Feelings Front, I’ve isolated two main causes:

1. I have a brain that Needs Things To Be Fair. That doesn’t mean I can’t handle unfairness in a piece of fiction. Unfairness creates conflict, and conflict is what makes for good storytelling. But it does mean that I need the story to be aware of its own unfairness. I need the unfairness to be the point. Otherwise I start vibrating at high speeds and shaking my fist at clouds.

2. I’m a Kaiba stan. I accidentally got emotionally attached to the Funny Card Game Boy from the Funny Card Game Show.

There’s the feelings part. That leaves the “picking apart the story” side of the equation. And I’ve been trying to do that in nice punchy little one-or-two-paragraph text posts for the past year or so, but I don’t think I’ve ever really done the argument justice that way. So I guess that leaves only one option: writing a giant wordvomit essay on Yugioh (1996-2004).

Why This Is A Death-T Hateblog: The Masterpost

An important note: I like being able to back up my thoughts with Evidence From The Text, but I’m specifically working off the (Viz translated) manga. You can read Cards with Teeth here, Capumon here, and Death-T starting here if you want to check any of my facts or draw your own conclusions. Keep in mind that the Toei anime made pretty huge changes to the s0 Kaiba storyline, and the DM anime skipped most of it entirely–if you’re more familiar with those continuities, there’re some major differences in the manga.

(Also this thing probably reads better on desktop. I think the formatting got screwed up on mobile)

How We Got Here

Before we can actually dig into Death-T, we need to start at the very beginning (♫a very good place to start♫). So that means taking a look at “The Cards with Teeth (Part 1)” and “The Cards with Teeth (Part 2).”

For its first 8 chapters, the Yugioh manga chugs blissfully (if repetitively) along with an episodic, conflict-of-the-week formula. No overarching plot. Next to no sense of continuity. No trading cards in sight.

Then this asshole shows up.

His name is Seto Kaiba (or “Kaiba,” at least–not sure if this is just a Viz thing, but my copy of CwT never mentions his given name). Not that he bears a whole lot of resemblance to the Seto Kaiba we later come to know and love (and/or love to hate).

Almost none of his most defining traits are there yet. There’s no mention of Mokuba, no mention of Kaibacorp, no indicationthat he’s especially rich (besides the fact that he’s carrying around a wholebriefcase of trading cards), no reason to believe he has a specific obsession with Blue Eyes (he just thinks it’s a strong card and it’d help him win tournaments), and no sign of any special hacking/strategy/hand-to-hand-combat/etc. skills (the kid is hilariously incompetent).

This dude was never supposed to be a recurring character, and it shows.

But anyway, let’s run through the basic series of events:

- Kaiba wanders into the game shop looking forbooster packs. Yugi recognizes him as an acquaintance from school (not as a famous kid CEO, and not as a recent transfer student)

- Kaiba happens to notice the Blue Eyes card lying out onGrandpa’s counter (in this version of events, he hasn’t been stealing rare cards for months before this, he didn’t creep on Yugi’s conversation and followhim home, he had no idea going in that the Blue Eyes was there, and he didn’t already have the other three)

- He offers to trade all the cards in his briefcasefor the Blue Eyes (although he doesn’t tell Grandpa to name his price—again,the millionaire CEO element isn’t a thing yet)

- Grandpa refuses, so the next day Kaiba comes up with alaughably badly thought-out plan to steal the card

- Shockingly, Yugi notices that the “color copy from the catalog” isn’t the real deal. He gently tries to confront Kaiba about it in private

- Kaiba (without showing an ounce of the cool head you’d think you’d need to take over and run a company) panics, starts stammering and unconvincingly denying it, and then smacks Yugi with his briefcase

Annnd then Part 2 plays out like a standard s0 chapter.

“Yami Yugi” takes over. They play a shadow game. Kaiba cheats by slipping the stolen Blue Eyes out of his sleeve (Atem’s like “That’s my Grandpa’s card!” and Kaiba straight up goes “Whaaat, nooo, that’s my card that I, uh, found on the street just now.” A teen genius criminal mastermind, everybody). The shadow magic gives him a spritz from its metaphorical Karmic Cat-Training Spray Bottle and makes his Blue Eyes dissolve (I’d like to think that was Kisara going “I’m not mad, just disappointed,” and Memory World tries to retroactively make that connection, but it’s pretty abundantly clear that nothing about this series was planned that far ahead). He loses. Yadda yadda yadda.

And then Atem goes in for the penalty game.

To recap:

Some random 10th grader from Yugi’s school stole a trading card, hit someone, and was generally kind of a jerk. As punishment, he was trapped in a hyper-realistic illusion of being ripped apart and slaughtered by half a dozen monsters at once.

Y…ay…?

Let’s Stop and Reflect for a Sec

In theory, I shouldn’t be that much more upset about Cards with Teeth than I am about any other part of s0, right? It’s not like the manga framed it as horrific and wrong when Atem set off an explosion in some teenage bully’s face a couple chapters ago. Giving us the vicarious pleasure of punishing our bullies in over-the-top, Carrie-style ways without actually exploring any of the consequences is, like, the early manga’s whole thing.

But even taking into account the fact that I already had an attachment to this Nasty Bowl Cut Boy thanks to the anime, I do actually think that there are at least two factors that set CwT apart.

The first is that Atem’s karmic punishments are usually…well, karmic. If he inflicts physical harm on someone, it’s because they already inflicted or tried to inflict roughly the same amount of harm on Yugi & co. If the crime was relatively minor, then he only gives out a minor punishment–like, say, when the homeroom teacher was Just Kinda Mean, all he did was allow the class to see her without her makeup on (…setting aside the Let’s Get Into Gender Politics-ness of that chapter).

There’s even a few cases where you could argue that the punishment is too light to fit the crime. Ushio beat Jonouchi and Honda half to death and tried to murder Yugi with a knife, and all he got was this lousy t-shirt an illusion that made the trash on the ground look like money.

In another chapter, the villain of the week tried to rape Anzu, and the only punishment he faced was having his side business exposed as a scam (Let’s Get Into Gender Politics).

Yet in CwT, we see one of the most harmless villains in all of s0 (no prolonged beatings or attempted murder? unheard of!) receive what’s arguably the most horrifying penalty game in the whole manga. At least when that guy got set on fire, it was over fast.

And that brings us to factor number two: Kaiba is the first penalty game victim in s0 who comes back.

Capumon: Gotta Catch ‘em All!

Well, technically he doesn’t come back in person, at first. Someone else shows up to fight in his name.

Oh hey Mokie. How’s it going?

Rather understandably (imo), Mokuba wants the guy who tortured his brother last week to face some actual consequences for it.

Now here’s an interesting opportunity that the manga has set up for itself. Is it going to dig deep into the balance between defending yourself vs lashing out and causing undue harm? Is it going to remind us that most of the penalty game victims so far, whatever their crimes,have been children? Is it going to demonstrate that when you take out your anger on someone, you don’t just hurt your immediate target, but their loved ones as well?

Nah, who am I kidding.

Hurting or inconveniencing the Good Guys in any way is Bad. Anything the Good Guys do is Good and Justified. Using magic to stick an already-hurting eleven-year-old in his own personalized hell? Good and Justified.

Before he’s shoved screaming into the Giant Vending Machine Capsule Where Bad And Naughty Elementary Schoolers Go To Atone For Their Crimes, Mokuba mentions that the other penalty game he heard about “made my brother go crazy!”

He also drops a hint of things to come with all the subtlety of an anvil. So I guess by this point, the numbers had come in and the card game chapter had proved unexpectedly popular enough that a sequel was in the works.

Death-Twink? Death-Tastic?Death-Two: Electric Boogaloo?

I’ve been pretty hard on Cards with Teeth and Capsule Monsters Chess so far. But you want to know the truth?

On their own, they aren’t necessarily that bad.

What really matters in a story isn’t the literal events: it’s how those events are framed. At the moment, we’re only midway through an incomplete storyline. Maybe we’re supposed to be horrified. Maybe we’re supposed to be questioning whether or not the hero is really in the right. It all hangs on what these chapters are building to.

As it turns out–as Mokuba just helpfully clued us in on–they were building to Death-T.

And that’s where the shit hits the fan.

Over a dozen chapters after we first met Kaiba, a whole bunch of completely-unforeshadowed facts about him are suddenly dumped on us all at once. He’s rich! The kind of rich that allows for limo rides, a giant mansion, and flouncing around in a fur-lined cape like feudal European nobility! And he’s the president of a company, even though “Whaa?!! But he’s still in high school!” Speaking of which, apparently Kaiba “hasn’t been at school recently.”

The Death-T arc opens with Yugi and Jonouchi attending the world’s most awkward sleepover–the host never shows up, and they don’t even get to paint each others’ nails or watch movies. Also Mokuba tries to murder them in the night, but you know what? If someone tortured my brother, “made him go crazy,” and left him huddled in the house feverishly working on a bizarre project and refusing to go to school for the next few weeks, I’d probably poison them too.

The morning after the sleepover, we learn another new Kaiba Fact…

Ever since the Experience of Death happened, he’s been having horrible recurring PTSD nightmares about it. As you do. When you get tortured.

(This is why, even though I know intellectually that it’s Not That Deep and people arejust having fun, I still get a little skeeved out when I see jokes about howDeath-T happened “just” because Kaiba was that mad about losing a card game or “just”because he had a crush on Yugi and he didn’t know how to deal with it. I’malways internally like “Nnno, I’m pretty sure it was the torture?”)

So far we’ve been shown in pretty brutal detail that our “hero” psychologically broke a fifteen-year-old for no good reason. The manga’s going to have its work cut out for it if it really wants to do a convincing redemption arc for its protagonist. And there’s no way it could possibly try to spin that random act of torture as an acceptable thing, right?

…right?

Crime and Punishment

That’s one of my first big problems with Death-T: to me, it reads as a way of trying to retroactively justify the Experience of Death.

That seems to be the purpose of suddenly giving Kaiba all this wealth and power that was never hinted at in Cards with Teeth. See, he wasn’t just some random high school kid who had the bad luck of crossing someone with magic powers; he was (however improbable that is, as the story lampshades) a high school-aged CEO. He’s so ludicrously powerful that he can torture an old man in front of a live audience and get away with it. Punching up looks a lot better than punching down, doesn’t it?

And you can’t really fault the hero for torturing someone evil, can you? Kaiba used Grandpa’s sanity as a blackmail chip! He ran experiments on human test subjects! He wants to kill Yugi and everyone he loves! Surely a little torture is no worse than he deserved.

There’s only one one problem with that: the Experience of Death happened before Death-T. There’s no way Atem could have known any of this was coming. The audience couldn’t have known it was coming. Takahashi didn’t know. Chronologically speaking, the Experience of Death wasn’t revenge for Death-T. It’s the other way around.

Best Served Cold

So Death-T is a form of eye-for-an-eye vengeance: “Yugi” beat Kaiba at Duel Monsters and tortured him, so now Kaiba’s gonna beat Yugi and torture him, using his own perfect virtual recreation of “Yugi’s” penalty game (oh yeah, that whole “the average person goes insane in about 10 minutes” thing? Kaiba was able to program that detail from personal experience).

But wait! This isn’t really eye-for-an-eye! Kaiba’s going after Yugi’s loved ones, not just Yugi, and that’s worse than what Yugi did to him! And even if it was proportionate, revenge is bad and wrong. That’s how you get endless back-and-forth chains of vengeance and generational blood feuds and stuff. Two wrongs don’t make a right!

And those could all be reasonable points, except…

This entire story is about how great and badass eye-for-an-eye justice is.

“Wouldn’t it be cool if you could take everyone who ever hurt you and make them suffer even worse” is practically the thesis of Season 0. You can’t make something look awesome when the protagonist does it and then turn around and make it seem evil and inexcusable coming from anyone else.

And while Kaiba does wind up targeting Yugi’s friends, that wasn’t part of his original plan. He’s surprised when random people start jumping out of the bleachers/the Kaibacorp employee roster and insisting that they won’t let Yugi do this alone. The writing uses his surprise as proof that he just doesn’t understand The Power of Friendship, but it’s also evidence that his original target was just Yugi.

“If you’re gonna side with my torturer, then you can have the same fate as him, I guess.” It’s not even that far outside the logic Atem’s been using all this time. Just because there’s only one main gang member who personally hurt his friend, that doesn’t mean that Atem won’t rope every random mook who gets in his way into the death game too. (Granted, this doesn’t really apply to Kaiba’s treatment of Grandpa. Or the offscreen experimentation/blackmailing. Or Mokuba, but…we’ll get to that).

…But like I said before, the big issue isn’t the events. It’s the framing. Maybe the point will ultimately be that if penalty games are wrong when the bad guy does them, then they’re wrong when the hero does them too. Maybe this is all leading up to a big reexamination of Atem’s moral code and some much-needed character development.

Maybe. Let’s keep going and see.

*Great Gatsby comic voice* Baby? What Baby

Death-T runs for 14 chapters, but Kaiba isn’t actually there for, like…half of them.

I mean, he’s technically there? Occasionally? He’ll show up long enough to dramatically play chess for a panel or so, or to stick his head on a TV monitor and provide some Helpful Death Game Hints. But for all practical purposes, he’s pretty much absent for the entire middle section of the story arc.

And, uh…let’s just say I 100% understand and respect the DM anime’s decisionto go straight from Grandpa’s heart attack to the final duel and skipeverything in between.

If Kaiba’s real goal is to beat Yugi at Duel Monsters, then all the death games leading up to that one are basically filler. And they manage to be just as contrived and nonsensical as any anime filler arc, without a fraction of the fun.

It’s largely a tonal issue. The writing swings wildly between grimdark dramatics, sentimental conversations about friendship where everyone hugs and cries (tbh that’s one of the few redeeming qualities of the arc), and “comic relief” where the “““comedy””” is all either bodily function jokes or sexual assault jokes (L̠̤̯͍̦e̮̪͎̞t's̞̮̳̱̰̦̲ ̲G͖͉̹̻̯͉͖e̜̝̗͓̟͚t̖͚ ͚̰̞̮̝̫͎I͓̜̦̳̭͚͎n̪̪͈t͍̥̰̼o͚͎͇̣̘̝ ̪̼̜̣̳G͈̠̫e̳̝̗̪ṋ͚̞͎ͅd͔̙͓̯̹e̯̺̯̩r͔̣̲͔̳̗ ̘͙P̖̦o̩̺͖͎̞̬l͎̺͕̹i͇̣̼̦t̰i̬̰̝͙̗̝c̜̼̺̪̲̞s).

Honestly, in terms of the “stanning and fairness” argument, there’s not much to talk about here. It just adds insult to injury that not only does Death-T throw my fave under the bus, but it’s really badly written.

The Mokuba Thing

Okay, let’s fast-forward through the filler zone and stoppp…here.

In the context of the anime, where we know (and see multiple flashbacks demonstrating) that their whole life has been an “us against the world” story, this scene is tragic. Seto’s trust in people has been eroded so much that he even thinks Mokuba is conspiring against him? Their love and support for each other, which has survived through so much hardship, has finally cracked under the weight of this latest trauma? There’s a lot of dramatic and tearjerking potential there.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that most of us bring our baggage from the anime with us when we read the manga. The vast majority of the western Yugioh fandom did start with DM.

But if we look at this purely in the context of the manga–if we can pretend, for a second, that none of us have ever heard of the anime–this is the first time we see the two of them interacting onscreen. And none of those touching flashbacks of Seto comforting Mokuba and defending him from bullies and promising to be his father exist here. All we ever really learn about their relationship before this point is “They used to be a little closer when they were younger. Source: one (1) photo of them playing chess.”

So instead of serving as the tragic lowpoint of their relationship, this scene sets the baseline for it: Mokuba desperately wants to make his brother happy and earn his approval, while Seto responds with dismissal and cruelty.

In the anime (and to a certain extent in the later manga), Mokuba’s purpose in the narrative is to humanize Seto. But in Death-T, he serves the opposite function. Every interaction they have is an opportunity for Seto to kick the dog and prove what a monster he is.

And it’s all downhill from here.

………………

…So.

I have…mixed feelings about this.

On one level–a meta level–I think this scene serves the same purpose as taking that random high schooler from CwT and suddenly giving him ridiculous amounts of money and power and mustache-twirling levels of villainy. It’s a way of making the Experience of Death seem retroactively justified (and also a way of making the upcoming penalty game look fair).

On the other hand. It’s.

Horrific.

This scene is supposed to make us hate Kaiba, and it does it’s job really really well.

Personally speaking? I’m of the opinion that trying to hurt the child under your care as badly as you conceivably can is a “don’t pass go, don’t collect $100″ kind of deal. There’s no coming back from that. There’s no fixing or salvaging this relationship.

(God, this whole thing is wrapped in so many layers of fantasy that I’m not even sure what the real-world equivalent would be. Trying to beat your child not quite to death?)

Mokuba should not have had to continue living with his brother after this, any more than the Ishtars should have had to stay with their dad or Seto should have had to stay with Gozaburo. Mokuba forgiving Seto for this isn’t touching to me, it’s gut-wrenching. Every “heartwarming” brotherly moment in the later manga (all, like…2 and a half of them) feels hollow and sad.

As far as I’m concerned, this scene doesn’t “complicate” their relationship in any interesting or meaningful way. Their anime relationship already has plenty of complications–their sometimes unhealthy co-dependence, the fact that Seto is still a kid himself and he’s not really equipped to be a parent,Mokuba’s difficulty understanding that Seto can’t just “go back to who he was” before his trauma, the times when Seto is too caught up in his own pain to really be there for Mokuba, the manipulation involved in Seto’s takeover plan, etc. This just makes their relationship outright child abuse.

But hey, they hugged that one time in Duelist Kingdom, so it’s fine, right?

ExODiA iiiIIIIT’s not pAHsible

The final duel happens. The big Blue Eyes vs Exodia showdown.

*Bill Wurtz voice* So that’s pretty nifty, I would say.

It’s..? A genuinely cool and dramatic duel. There’s a reason it’s one of the, like, three Death-T elements the DM anime actually bothered to keep. Not much to say about it.

Sure was a whole lot of buildup just to end things with one (1) deus ex machina instawin card, tho.

The Tragic Backstory

So if all this happened because of a penalty game, what do you think the solution could be?

Did you say “another, even harsher penalty game”?

Ding ding ding!

This time, instead of torturing the fifteen-year-old, our hero puts the fifteen-year-old in a vegetative state as he begs for mercy.

Yaaaayy!

Some fun facts about the Mind Crush that we don’t actually learn until Duelist Kingdom:

1. It lasted for 6 months

2. Mokuba spent that entire time alone, in the big empty mansion, with no parental guidance or adult supervision except the butlers and maids, caring for his brother’s comatose body 24/7

3. When Atem put Kaiba in that coma, he had absolutely no idea if he’d ever be able to wake up or not. He thought he could, maybe–Kaiba’s pretty strong, right? But he also finds the idea that Kaiba died in his coma and came back to haunt him perfectly believable. “Fixed,” dead…eh, it was kind of a coin toss.

But wait, the story’s not over yet! First we have to find out Why Kaiba Is The Way He Is (“Because your buddy tortured him last month” isn’t enough of an answer, apparently).

This is communicated in the most natural way possible: Mokuba just starts monologuing about all his brother’s deepest darkest traumas to a bunch of strangers his brother hates.

The claim that Kaiba’s backstory is “more complex” in the manga than it is in the anime has always confused me, because this is…it. These three pages are the whole backstory. I mean, in Battle City we do get one more passing line of dialog about how Kaibacorp used to be a weapons manufacturer and Gozaburo “sold Seto’s soul to the military industrial complex,” but other than that… The anime took these bare bones and fleshed them out significantly, but from a pure manga canon standpoint, it’s not a whole lot to work with.

But there’s still enough here to rub me the wrong way.

For one thing, this sequence is almost an exact parallel to two later moments in the manga: Pegasus’s backstory dump at the end of Duelist Kingdom, and Malik’s backstory dump mid-Battle City. In both of those cases, the purpose of the scene is to take a villain whose motives seemed cruel and inexplicable and finally reveal the reasons behind his actions. We’re supposed to be seeing these characters in a sympathetic light for the very first time.

But Kaiba’s motives in Death-T, uh, weren’t exactly a mystery. He already made it pretty explicitly clear that this was about the torture. So as a narrative tool, Mokuba’s monologue:

1. seems a little superfluous

2. seems like a way of taking any responsibility out of the protagonist’s hands. Kaiba didn’t snap because of anything Atem did, he just had a bunch of fucked up baggage that Atem couldn’t possibly have known about or accounted for. Who knew some people take it badly when you torture them??

3. seems to suggest that we weren’t supposed to be sympathizing with Kaiba before this point. If this is the big “oh, now that I know why he did it, I guess I feel a little bad for him :(” moment, then that means the part where he got tortured…wasn’t?

And, as always, there’s the issue of the framing.

The grace note of the monologue–the thought it leaves us with, the intended takeaway–isn’t “If only he hadn’t gone through years of abuse, in circumstances he had no real control over because he was a child.” It’s “If only he hadn’t brought all this upon himself by cheating.”

Even if we ignore the fact that it’s physically impossible to cheat at chess (which seems like kind of a big oversight for a gaming manga, but oh well, That’s Yugioh Babe)…

How can you possibly present a ten-year-old cheating at a board game in a desperate gambit to get himself and his brother out of an orphanage as his start of darkness?

Yet that’s exactly what the writing does. This is a story about how games “reveal the true hearts” of their players and bring karmic retribution down on anyone who doesn’t respect the game and follow the rules. The implication is that the child abuse Seto suffered was karma. He rightfully earned it by cheating at chess, just like he brought the Experience of Death upon himself by cheating at Duel Monsters.

Oh yeah, speaking of which…

Wheel of Morality, Turn Turn Turn, Tell Us The Lesson We Should Learn

What was the outcome of Death-T? What impact did it actually have?

Did it bring about any big moral reckoning? Any questioning of the heroes’ values? Did Atem learn the difficult but important lesson “torture bad”?

Nnnnope!

Death-T is immediately followed by a series of episodic chapters that take us right back to the status quo like nothing happened. Atem keeps merrily handing out penalty games all the way up to the very end of Duelist Kingdom. When he does finally stop doing them, his decision has nothing to do with Death-T. It takes a comment from Pegasus about the Millennium Items having an “evil intelligence” to make him wonder “wait…I’m from a Millennium Item…I’m an intelligence…could evil…maybe include…torture????”

And even after the manga lukewarmly reverses its position to “torture sort of bad I guess,” it never really does anything with that revelation. None of the past penalty games are ever reexamined. No apologies are made. The Experience of Death is quietly swept under the rug, and the Mind Crush, when it’s brought up at all, is framed as noble act that “fixed” Kaiba (because “if you make someone suffer badly enough, you can hurt them into being a better person” is a great message).

Basically, we learned nothing from Death-T, nothing changed, and our takeaway is supposed to be “Atem was 100% in the right and Kaiba was 100% in the wrong, and also he’s an evil monster who deserved everything he got.”

Guess I Need A Satisfying Conclusion of Some Kind Even Through Death-T Didn’t Really Have One, Huh

Wow.

That was…a whole lot of words of Death-T rage that I apparently had in me zjkghzkkf.

I tend to feel less justified about constantly harping on Death-T then I do when it comes to, like, the racism in Memory World, or the series’ general Miss O’Gyny. It’s not like “magical vigilantism” is exactly a real-word social issue that’s being reflected in this piece of fiction. I realize a lot of my anger pretty much boils down to “hey,, ! thats…my fave. stopp...being mean to him >:(”

But I also feel like the issues in Death-T aren’t limited to Death-T.

The manga has this…this thing where it wants to be able to pinpoint a few clear, unchanging moral rules (“cheating is bad!” “graverobbing is bad!” “patricide is bad!”) and just apply them neatly to every situation, without having to take into account any of that inconvenient stuff like “what were the circumstances of this specific situation,” or “how many choices were actually open to this person,” or “how much harm was done by this choice compared to its benefits in terms of basic human well-being.” Yet at the same time, that moral absolutism is somehow coupled with a reluctance to apply any moral judgement to its protagonists at all.

The two points where that becomes clearest are Death-T and Memory World. And I feel like even when people acknowledge the issues with those arcs, they still want to be able to write it off as “oh, that was just a problem with the early chapters, it was fixed as the writing matured,” or “oh, that was just a problem at the end because of the mad rush to finish the story before it got canceled, it was never a thing before then.” But it’s not an isolated problem. It’s there at the beginning of the story, it’s there at the end, and it’s baked into everything in the middle.

…but anyhow.

hey,, ! thats…my fave. stopp...being mean to him >:(

#'i like atem too and i ignore most of s0 bc of what it did to both their characters' disclaimer #long post #r...real long...#i am so sorry if the readmore doesn't work on mobile

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