#and maybe it's just because I'm already stressed
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
crazyvik97rpg · 2 days ago
Text
Honestly, being so anxious and stressed himself lately, Sebastian unfortunately had no idea that William really had a tough time as well, overall, lately - basically neglecting himself too. Sebastian had no idea, while his parents were visiting, while they chatted and laughed over coffee, while his mom brought him the newest gossip from some of her clients and their own family. It was a pleasant Sunday full of little distractions for him and the nurses were happy with his vitals. Everything was alright.
He sent William a text in the evening, telling him about his parents' visit, how nice that had been and how much he was looking forward to tomorrow. To finally leave this dreadful hospital bed. And William never showed his true feelings - never let Sebastian see how exhausted he himself was.
Monday morning came and Sebastian eagerly awaited Dr Cole's visit, to clear him and basically sign the papers for his discharge. She once again checked his vitals, checked the surgery wound and had a nurse apply new bandages, have it all neat and clean. Along with that, Sebastian got prescribed some medicine - pain medication, to take if he needed, bandages and some equipment to clean the wound and apply new bandages himself, also a doctor's note for work and an absolute sports-ban for the next 2 months or so. Sebastian wasn't exactly happy about that but...he had to take it.
He got a bunch of documents, where all that information was listed in detail as well as dates for some follow-up appointments that would be in some weeks. Once all the paperwork was done, Sebastian only had to get dressed now. He had some sweatpants with him, socks, his usual sneakers. Since he would be alone at home most of the time of his sick leave, he already practiced getting dressed alone, which was only a bit difficult now because his arm was still a little impaired. Other than that, he could do everything just fine. Except maybe tie his shoes, but a nurse helped him there. Next thing he did, was text William.
'Love, I'm basically ready to go now. Still in my room. Where are you? I can walk down to the entrance, if you want'.
God, he was so excited. He'd finally be going home.
For I have sinned...
The principal cleared his throat, eyes scanning the notes that he had wrote down before this meeting. It already lasted an hour, and the teachers gathered in the faculty room were becoming restless and bored. But indeed there were some things to discuss, with the concert that the senior class was supposed to perform at the end of the semester, and with recent staff changes. 
William glanced down at his watch, sighing softly. His class was starting in 15 minutes, so at least, whether the meeting will be done soon or not, he will get to excuse himself. He looked out of the window, his mind wandering. Principal’s voice turned into white noise in the background. It was a pleasant day, late summer. But William was looking forward to a slightly cooler weather. Wearing all black could really be bothersome at times. 
“And lastly, I am pleased to announce that we have finally found replacement for the violin teacher. Dear Mr Tanaka, may he rest in peace, was with us for so many years that I’ve been concerned we won’t be able to find someone as good as to fill this position.” the principal spoke. “But Mr… Michaelis, was highly recommended to me, and he indeed has impressive references. He will be starting this week, so please welcome him warmly once he will arrive. Ah yes… about that. He will arrive today at noon, I need someone to pick him up from the train station and bring over for the tour around the school. Any volunteers?�� 
William was barely listening, and definitely not paying much attention. He glanced at his watch again, and saw that it was time to leave, as his class was about to start. He raised his hand to excuse himself, and little did he know, he just volunteered.
“Father William! Excellent!” the principal exclaimed. “Just don’t be late, the train arrives at noon.”
“Train…?” William questioned, raising his brow. He had a feeling he was missing something…
***
Right after the meeting, William had to run for the class, so he had little time to clarify what exactly he had volunteered for. He was a piano teacher in this Music Academy, but also he served as a priest in local church. Well respected, and rather liked. So when he later found out it was about the new violin teacher, he didn’t refuse. Who, other than himself, would be a better choice to introduce a newcome to their community?
So even though he raised his hand by accident, he accepted this fate.
After classes, at noon, William took a taxi and drove to the train station, to pick up their new teacher. Wearing black trousers, and a black shirt with a thin tie, was absolutely dreadful in this weather, so William quickly found shelter under the roof of the station platform, that provided some shade.
The train had just arrived. William had no idea how Mr Michaelis looked like, but he figured he will just look for someone carrying a violin case with them. 
He was in for a bit surprise.
@crazyvik97
15K notes · View notes
kurosagi-h8r · 2 days ago
Note
Hii love your little headcanons so I wanted to ask if you can do "what happens when mc asks the ghouls for dating advice"
I don't think mc would ever realistically ask them that but the reactions would be funny💀
WWWWWW SURE DO~~ But i'm gonna make this into parts because i don't think i'm strong enough i'm too frail to write for all of 'em in one go (no joke my shoulder pain has been killing me). so sorryyy ╯︿╰
Tumblr media
Jin
Bold of you to assume he's gonna give you relationship advice when he can't fix his relationship with his papa
tbf he's probably gonna look at you weirdly and uhh remind you that you're his slave and nothing more and that any thought of being in a relationship with other people is forbidden
or ask you a bunch of question that will make you feel ashamed that you don't marry rich (with him as the standard) idk
Tohma
Will actually be a pretty decent guy to go for when it comes to dating advice... I think...
"blablablabla who's the guy? is it someone i know? blablabla I suggest you do this and that blablabla why not use me as an example? It won't do you any harm, no?"
"Will you update me on the progress? I don't want to be nosy, I'm simply looking out for you. Too many potential danger lurking in this place and I want nothing less than to sleep at night knowing that you're safe."
Very much biased but he can manipulate me all he wants and i will give in i won't even think twice about it
Kaito
This loser will start crying on the spot thinking that you found someone else already
"I-I never said I found someone..." and a lightbulb will come out of his head thinking that you were asking him SPECIFICALLY because HE is the one you're crushing on. "I've read somewhere that this is one of the things people do to find out more about their crush... THIS IS IT! THIS IS MY CHANCE!"
And all the advice he's giving you are the things that he wants you do to him
Not even gonna be ashamed about it go for it kaito
Luca
Most earnest in giving dating advice. He genuinely wants to help. He's even honored to be the one you go to for such important decision making.
Even if you do it to find out more about him, he's gonna be oblivious 😭 good luck
Honestly i don't have much words to back him up but personally, deep in my heart, i would go to this guy because i don't believe in myself when it comes to this kind of thing. i will trust you to set me in the right path luca ❤ i'll even trust you to beat up the shitty guy in my stead (lol)
Alan
Look me in the eye and tell me he has any dating experience
Not good with words but will stand behind you few steps away as you do what you want to do. Be it confessing your feelings or setting boundaries with your partner. For support 👍
Whether your partner finds it scary or not it's their problem
Surprisingly good at comforting maybe? If your partner breaks your heart and you don't feel like talking it out he will drive you around to clear your head.
Leo
"You're asking me? Oh my God you must be THAT desperate huh."
GIRL JUST ABORT MISSION ATP WHATEVER YOU'RE STRESSING OUT ABOUT IT'S GONNA GET WORSE IF YOU'RE SEEKING THIS GUY'S ADVI-- *got dragged away*
"Not gonna listen to all that. Why don't we just try making them jealous? You have me and I'm always down for a challenge~"
Ask yourself, which one is worse, making a deal with the devil or Leo?
Sho
Alright listen, depending on how dire the situation is i would want him to pretend to be my bf to make my partner jealous. HE'S PROBABLY GONNA HATE IT but i'm not one to pass up such opportunity /j
biker boyfriend to make your partner jealous??? why the hell not
I can feel him looking at me weirdly "you seriously coming to me for a relationship advice...?"
"How the hell would I know? Get them back with their favorite food? A way to someone's heart is to their stomach or whatever the saying goes." If it's cooking skill you're lacking maybe he can help a little.
82 notes · View notes
evanpercy · 3 days ago
Text
The Couch in S8 and how it will tie to buddie canon, a 9-1-1 analysis
Tumblr media
First of all, I'd like to say that this theory is based solely on observations made by myself and others, on camera and lighting choices which, as we all know, are always very important in a TV show. I'm NOT going to go back over the previous couch theory, 1. because I don't have the time and 2. because everything has already been said (Buck falling asleep on Eddie's couch because it's the only place he feels safe, Chris falling asleep in the same place, yada yada).
Next, this theory is going to be pretty much chronological, but I may be getting a little ahead of myself at times, sorry. In the end, you'll see, it makes sense, but I'm also going to ask you for a bit of imagination.
Let's dive into it!
Everything begins in 8x01. We get a scene between Buck, Tommy and Eddie, who are organizing a birthday party for Chris over a facecall. Eddie's couch makes its first appearance this season: Eddie sits on it to call Chris, and Buck and Tommy hide behind it.
Buck and Tommy share a moment. It's cute to see Buck so comfortable in his relationship and his attraction. Well, Tommy is awkward but, are you surprised? (no) As Eddie starts the call, Buck and Tommy jump from behind the couch and we get the first frame interesting enough for this analysis.
Tumblr media
What can we say? Eddie is alone on the couch, Buck on his left and Tommy on his right.
(Eddie is once again between Buck and Tommy. In all their scenes together, there's always someone in between the other two. That's not the point here but I love to point it out.)
Buck isn't with Eddie, he's standing behind the couch. It's acting like a physical separation. Buck can only watch Eddie's pain from a distance as the call goes on, and he is useless. Powerless.
That will be the case throughout the early part of this season.
Buck doesn't do anything about Chris and Eddie.
Eddie doesn't talk to Buck about Chris at all. They don't share a single scene alone in the privacy of one of their homes. There's always someone with them - Tommy, the rest of the crew - or they're at the station. Eddie will talk about Chris to Hen, Bobby, the cheerleader's father, Father Brian, even Brad in 8x08. NEVER Buck.
There's also something interesting about the fact that Eddie and Buck don't really talk to each other until Tommy breaks up with Buck.
It's probably not conscious, but I really think Buck is actually distracted by Tommy. He's in this new relationship, it's good, it's cute, it's really different from what he's used to.
We'll see that this will eventually go away...
(A quick interlude: Of course this isn't the first time we've seen 3 people with the couch. It also happened with Buck, Eddie and Chris in S3 - yeah, when couch theory wasn't even a thing. They're on Buck's couch though, but I'm planting a seed in your mind, watch out...)
Tumblr media
Next time, it's not Eddie's couch we're talking about, but Buck's. It appears in 8x05, when Buck is sitting in his armchair after returning from the hospital and Tommy is looking after him. There's a lot to say in this scene, but I'm going to focus on one or two things.
Tumblr media
Do I even need to say it? Episode 5 was shot after episode 6. I can't stressed out how much it's hit after hit to show us that Buck and Tommy are not staying together (and indeed, Tommy breaks up in 8x06). I imagine the writers ran with the opportunity to show just how incompatible and how physically separated Buck and Tommy are, as well as drawing many parallels between Tommy and Eddie. Maybe I'll talk about that someday.
In this frame, Buck and Tommy are separated. Buck is sleeping in the armchair and Tommy on the couch. I know it's better to sleep in a sitting position when you've dislocated a shoulder, but they could have had Buck sleeping in his bed, snug in his pillows, Tommy next to him.
They didn't.
They made Tommy sleep on the couch. Buck's uncomfortable couch. The one I think he bought with Natalia (if I'm wrong, please don't hate me, season 6 is far in the back of my mind).
See, Tommy doesn't even fit properly on the couch. He's got his head on the armrest and he doesn't have a blanket that covers him completely. He doesn't fit into Buck's life, no matter how hard he tries. He's always out of place.
He chooses the couch Buck doesn't like, and he'll be the only one in this season so far to use it. Buck will never choose this couch, even if he thinks it's the right choice.
(By the way, Oliver said in an interview literally released before episode 8 that Buck's couch is uncomfortable.... Thanks for that, I know you're a couch theory truther Oliver.)
Tumblr media
Next couch, 8x06. Eddie's Risky Business moment.
He dances in his living room and jumps on his couch twice. The first time to recreate the scene. The second time, he chooses to lie down on the couch to bask in the euphoria a little longer. Eddie has his first moment of pure joy in years, and it's on the couch that he decides to settle down and calm down. Not saying too much about it but I wanted to point it out.
Tumblr media
Where it gets interesting, you know it, is when Buck arrives. Buck, who's just been dumped and once again chooses Eddie's house for a little comfort. He hands Eddie a beer and sits down first on the couch to drink his own.
Tumblr media
Let's take a look at this last frame. The framing ticked me off as soon as I saw it, but I couldn't put my finger on why. Now, I know.
Eddie and Buck are sitting side by side, yes, but! If you pay close attention, you can see several things.
First, Buck appears completely in the frame, from shoulder to shoulder. He takes up most of the space, sitting upright on the couch, staring straight ahead.
On the other side, Eddie leans against the backrest, but in doing so, he moves out of frame. The arm and hand holding the beer are totally offscreen. He's looking to the side, not at Buck.
It's already a weird composition, a very pointed choice, because why aren't they both clearly visible in the frame? Why is Eddie a little off the side? This could have been filmed in a slightly less close-up shot, to show them both fully, but it's not. It's clearly a choice.
Let me direct your attention to the wall behind them. You'll see, it's interesting.
Between them, but rather on Eddie's side, what can we see? A picture. Yeah, but not a random one. You can see it more clearly on this frame of Eddie.
Tumblr media
Yep. It's an art of Texas. Quite ugly if you ask me. (Eddie, you're clearly making some strange choices when it comes to decorating.)
I won't try to analyze this framework any further, as you've already understood what I'm getting at if you've been paying attention.
It's a foreshadowing of Eddie leaving for Texas.
So we got Eddie leaning away from Buck, a Texas pic on the wall between them, while Buck is just here, choosing Eddie's couch (and Eddie) for comfort after his breakup. It's where he feels safe. They don't need to talk, they have each other... or so he thinks. Sorry Buck.
Let's move on to 8x08. Where it all makes sense.
Very quickly: Eddie isn't making his call to Chris on the couch, but on his coffee table. First, what the hell? It's weird, unless you think he considers the couch a nice place to sit on, and that this conversation will be far from nice in his head. Indeed, he was right.
Tumblr media
Buck shows up at Eddie's after baking way too much bread, because he almost called Tommy. By the way, the mere fact that he decided to go to Eddie's to stop himself from doing so speaks volumes, but let's not get into that.
Tumblr media
(Look at his little basket, his bread all wrapped up. Why are you like that Buck.)
When he realizes that Eddie is seriously thinking of moving to El Paso... well, he supports him. He supports him, because that's what a best friend is supposed to do, right? He suggests to Eddie, and I quote, “we should move this party to the couch”.
By the way, this is the first time he's explicitly brought the couch to Eddie. And we know that when a character mentions something for the first time, it's to emphasize it.
It's the same with Eddie saying he's straight… or when he says “we?” after Buck's suggestion. They are in this together, and it's what Eddie realizes when Buck goes to sit on the couch... He doesn't have to do all that alone. (Take that little side analysis, my treat. I fucking love this scene, I want to dissect it.)
Tumblr media
Buck sits on this couch he's chosen many times over the years.
It's THE couch, the one he always goes to when something is not right in his life. After he died, when he couldn't sleep at home. After his breakup.
He's the first to sit on it ... yes, just like in 8x06.
(This may seem trivial, of course, but the fact that he always chooses to go without waiting for Eddie... Imo, it screams “Buck will figure it all out first and Eddie will have to catch up with him later”. Or "Buck will be waiting for Eddie". Same with him already drinking his beer while Eddie struggles to open it. Maybe a bit far-fetched, but eh? Anyway.)
The setting of the scene is so cold, and I didn't realize it until I compared it with the other scenes on the couch. This creates quite a contrast.
Tumblr media
(Sorry I need to talk about something. Let's open a analysis in the analysis.
Buck is dressed in blue - it's Eddie's color in the color theory - while Eddie is dressed in a brownish button down. When I first watched this scene last night, I didn't notice, but looking again… Don't these outfits remind you of anything?
Tumblr media
Yeah. I know, they're not the same, but they're similar and it's enough for me to make the parallel. Buck was there for Eddie when Chris left, and he's now here for him when Eddie wants to move to Texas.
Something about "I love you, so I'm letting you go". I'm crying too, don't worry.)
Back to the couch.
Tumblr media
Eddie is totally off-screen, he's gone compared to the last time we saw the couch. Buck is alone, something shifts on his face - I'm not gonna lie, it was like watching a fanfic from AO3 on my screen. I've read enough feelings realization to recognize something close. Okay, to be fair, I don't know if it's a total realization of his feelings, but it's a start... and how beautiful that it's happening on Eddie's couch.
The couch represents safety, love, family for Buck. We understood it in s6 when it was first brought up.
By sitting on it, Buck chooses this life with Eddie, in a way.
Can you see the frame with the Texas pic? It's now completely visible, in the frame. It's behind Buck, over his shoulder. Eddie's departure, and by extension Texas, will haunt Buck for a long time to come.
I have to say, this shot is incredible. The whole scene is. I want to play it again and again, I want it tattooed on my eyelids. I'm gonna think about it for 3 months.
In a few episodes, we've gone from Buck behind the couch - away from Eddie's problems, distracted by Tommy - to Buck on the couch, alone - totally there and available for Eddie, even though Eddie soon won't be.
After the breakup, Buck can finally talk to Eddie, care about him - not that he didn't before that, but he's finally free to throw himself back into his relationship with his best friend as before.
Buck has found his home, his couch, the relationship he's most comfortable in, but maybe it's only now, when Eddie's about to leave, that he realizes it.
The couch was never about Eddie - it was always about Buck and his relationship with him. So it's even more powerful to see him behind it in 8x01, on it with Eddie in 8x06 and finally all alone in 8x08.
(I didn't know Oliver confirmed the symbolism of the couch back in S6 but, once again, thank you Oliver.)
Tumblr media
(Even if Tim Minear tries to say he doesn't know what it means... Please Tim, we know you're smarter than that).
So what can we expect from this couch for the rest of the season?
If Eddie is really leaving, which I don't believe, he might offer Buck his couch. If the couch is how Buck will realize that he has feelings for Eddie, I'm going to send a gift to everyone who's believed this theory since it first appeared. You're the real ones in this fandom.
If Eddie stays, I think we'll be getting more scenes with the couch. We could go from 3-2-1 to 1-2-3. Stay with me, and grab your imagination. We're going full in theory mode.
1 - Maybe we could have another scene, this time with Eddie alone on his couch? I could see this happening when he's packing, Buck not far away, and Eddie starts to wonder if this is really the right thing to do as his gaze lingers on Buck for a moment too long.
2 - We need two people on that couch again. I'm a big "Buddie first kiss in Eddie's kitchen" truther, but it could also happen on the couch.
Or they could have a big conversation together on it, that will eventually lead them to confess their feelings to each other later on. Maybe that's when Eddie decides to fight to get his son back, to not move in Texas? To confront his parents?
That's two scenes on the couch, two scenes where they don't really talk, even though the couch is an invitation to do so. I'd find it extremely interesting if their first real serious conversation this season took place here.
3 - Finally, we could go from Buck, Eddie and Tommy to something much better for a 3-characters scene on the couch, a configuration we've seen before: Buck, Chris and Eddie. It could even be the last scene of the season, and that wouldn't surprise me at all!
Just imagine: Buck and Eddie have confessed their feelings to each other, maybe Chris knows, maybe not. The three of them end up on this famous couch. Chris is in the middle, and Buck and Eddie look at each other over him, a smile on their lips.
Everything is fine, they've survived the end of the season disaster, Chris is back, they've finally found each other after years...
What an incredible parallel this would make with the beginning of the season! Where Buck was with Tommy, Chris away from his dad, Eddie depressed...
There, they could finally be happy on the damn couch. I have a very clear vision of this scene and I hope they make it a reality. We need our little Buckley-Diaz family together again. With buddie canon of course.
That's it, you've reached the end of this analysis-theory. I hope you enjoyed it. It took me 3 hours to write and I got lost in other theories, but hey! I had fun.
We're entering a 3-month hiatus so let's try to be kind to each other! Let's share our theories, fanarts, fanfics and edits to make this break a little more enjoyable!
If you want to give your opinion on this theory, you're free to do so here in the comments, or on twitter and bluesky (in both cases, I'm there under @/yamatomee).
Self promo mode, I write fanfics that you can find on AO3 under the username Beezethe! I have one coda about the buddie scene in 8x08, pure angst with no comfort... Feel free to give it a read!
24 notes · View notes
s4bbatical · 24 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media
Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want | Part 1. (Rivals Declan O'Hara x Reader)
Tumblr media
Part 2 here.
Warnings: Profanities, sexual tension, alcohol and cigarette use.
Author's note: I'm not exactly staying on top of the timeline of rivals, bare this in mind as you read. Of course with any self inserts, it's an AU with a bit of tweaking. No smut involved in this chapter, just fluff until I post more parts. AGE GAP (22!Reader). Thanks for reading.
It was your first week at the Corinium. You were a fresh-faced journalist straight out of Washington State University who had accepted an internship at the independent commercial television station in the county of Rutshire, England. Far from home and comfort, you strived to be the best at what you were asked to do. The pay was good, and the idea of being in another continent where anything was possible kept your drive at an all-time high. You were practicing your decorum quietly to yourself at your desk, fiddling with your pen.
"Already going mad, are you?" Your co-worker and new friend Seb asks, grinning as he puts down his homework on your desk.
You laugh awkwardly, crossing your leg over the other as you lean back to look up at the ginger. "If I have to hear Tony Baddingham cuss out another person because Declan O'Hara is too stubborn to take his lead," You quip, closing your own folder of paperwork. "I think I'll start drinking more." You exasperate, recalling the sudden outburst from Tony's office a mere five minutes ago. Seeing Declan O'Hara riled up was never a great sign, but you couldn't help but run your eyes over his sculpted arms when he took off his blazer in frustration.
"I think you need to start drinking more in general, y/n. You're in England now. We all have a problem." Seb comments, half-sitting on your desk. "You should come with us to Bar Sinister. It's owned by Basil, Tony's brother." He says, crossing his arms.
You raise a brow. "I thought we were assigned to get dirt on the next guest on Declan's and have it in by Monday. Wouldn't that cut into our research time?" You query.
Seb laughs. "You Americans are such workaholics." He shakes his head. "Come get a drink with us!" He pleas, hitting your arm lightly. "Those reputations aren't going anywhere. Besides, we're all going, you'll be the odd one out if you don't."
"All of you?" You say, looking across the room at Declan O'Hara. He's speaking to someone on the phone in his office, the blinds open enough to allow you for a peek. God, what a man he was.
"Yes, all of us. I can't speak for Tony or Declan, though." Seb hums, the feeling of disappointment washing over you. "I'd like to see you there, though." He adds, the both of you sharing a lingering gaze before he gets up and walks away.
If you didn't know any better, you'd think your colleague was flirting with you. You didn't mind it, really. Seb was attractive, and only a year younger than you. Unfortunately, you just had a taste something a little more aged. Everyone seemed to want to fuck each other in this office. You barely managed to avoid the claws of some of the older men yourself, not that you were complaining-- besides the fact none of them were Declan O'Hara.
You decide to stand up, grabbing ahold of your folder before boldly heading over to Mr. O'Hara's office. You slowly knock on the ajar door to get his attention before you step in.
"-We'll discuss this later. Goodbye." Declan says into his phone, hanging it up when he notices you. "Y/n, hello. What can I do for you?" He asks, putting his hands behind his back as he leans back in his chair.
Many things. You think to yourself, trying to look away from his stretched out torso before speaking. "I was just wondering if I could help you with anything else before I leave today Mister O'Hara? I just noticed you seem a bit stressed, maybe I could take something off of your plate if possible." You say, smoothing out your skirt.
He chuckles lightly, leaning forward to take a sip of his whiskey on the rocks. "Call me Declan, love. No need for so much professionalism." He sighs, your heart skipping a beat at his words of endearment as he runs a hand through his hair. "I'm 'fraid not. Tony's up my arse, and my wife's trying to throw this ridiculously expensive party for my son's birthday which also happens to be New Year's and..." He notices your glimmer of concern in your eyes, staring into them as if he got distracted. "I uh," He shakes his head. "Don't worry about it." He says, waving it off.
"I'm sorry, that does seem like an awful lot." You say, your cheeks reddening from his stare. "You don't deserve that, you know. The way Mister Baddingham treats you." You mutter, toying with the folder in your arms.
Declan chuckles, pulling out a cigarette and popping it into his mouth. "Try telling him that." He says wryly, lighting up the smoke.
"Well Declan, there's a group of us going to Bar Sinister later, if you'd like to unwind. God knows we both need it." You try to joke, laughing awkwardly as Declan gives you a look. You clear your throat, straighten your spine. "Sorry, just a suggestion." You mumble.
He laughs genuinely this time, inhaling his cigarette again. "You're funny, y/n. I thought it would be intolerable hiring an American journalist-"
"Hey!" You interject, gasping playfully.
"But!" Declan holds a hand up, stopping you from speaking further. "You're quite lovely to have around. I enjoy your presence." He says, smiling at you. "I hope you consider a permanent placement in the future."
Your face lights up, a big smile on your face now. "Thank you Mister- Declan." You correct yourself. He laughs again. "But I would have to become apart of your personal board to get approved for anything like that." You add.
"Well," Declan says, putting out his cigarette in the ashtray. "I hope you don't mind if I consider that possibility y/n. You have a lot of potential, and I admire your drive." He admits, clasping his hands together and putting them on his desk.
"I am very flattered, Declan. Thank you." You say, looking down before meeting his gaze again. "It's been a pleasure working for you." The undertone of your words hint at something beyond, causing Declan to tilt his chin up a bit to analyze you.
There was something about you that had caught his attention since you first set foot in Corinium, and he couldn't seem to shake his mind from it. It was like a guilty pleasure he could never acknowledge out loud.
The phone rings. Declan nods towards it, signaling for the conversation to end. "See you tonight, y/n." He finishes, taking the phone off it's mantle as you feel heat beginning to simmer in your abdomen, nodding before leaving his office and closing the door behind you.
You have a wide grin on your face as you make your way back to your desk, hastily returning to your work in order to keep the evening free.
-
Much to your surprise, it was karaoke night at the bar. There was a good mix of random patrons and recognizable faces taking turns singing out ballads.
You and Seb were sat at the bar, him sipping on a Guinness as you had a vodka soda. Classic American, he commented when you ordered it.
“You gonna go up there?” You ask Seb, gesturing towards Freddie Jones who was pouring his heart out on the mic.
“Mm, possibly. What’d you reckon I sing? I’m tone deaf but maybe if everyone gets drunk enough no one will notice.” He jokes, earning a fit of laughter from you both.
“I love The Cure if that’s any help.” You suggest, finishing your vodka soda.
Seb quickly gestures for the bartender to bring over a bottle of wine. He notices your curious expression, shrugging his shoulders. “Company’s paying for this shite, not me." He explains. "Also, The Cure? I like 'em, but they’re not gonna translate with these guys.” He says, drinking his pint. He pours you a glass of wine as you glance around the space, trying to spot Declan anywhere.
“What about Last Christmas? You know, by Wham? It’s almost Christmas after all.” You say, already pouncing on your glass of wine.
“I do like that one, maybe I’ll do it yeah.” Seb says nonchalantly, finishing his Guinness. “I’ll go right now, actually.” He suddenly gets up, walking through the crowd.
You grab the wine bottle itself and take a swig from it, feeling the alcohol flush out your face. You hated how it made your cheeks red like you were ashamed to be plastered.
You finally see the man you were waiting for enter the place, scanning the room before his eyes landed on yours. You give Declan a timid wave, causing him to walk over as Seb began singing on stage. “You made it!” You exclaim, returning to pouring the wine into your glass so you seemed classy in front of your inappropriate work crush.
“Yes, sorry. Had to stay later at the office to do more flawed research.” He jests, nodding towards the bartender who already knew his regular. Declan referred to finding dirt on his guests as flawed research, mainly so it didn’t seem so inane in conversation.
"You're very dedicated to your work, I'm surprised you have time for any of this." You say, allowing yourself to speak more freely now that you were definitely tipsy.
"My wife would say the same." He sighs, taking a sip of his glass of whiskey.
You take another sip of your glass, trying to conceal your distaste at the mention of his wife. "Is she not very pleased with you, Declan?" You ask, causing your boss's face to harden. "I'm sorry," You quickly add. "That's personal I shouldn't have said that, that's so stupid of me-"
"Y/n." Declan says, putting a hand on your arm. You feel your body burn up at his touch. "It's okay, really. It's actually relieving to know you don't know anything about my martial problems. Everyone does." He says dryly, taking another sip of his whiskey. "She's not too keen on me being obsessed with my job. She compares it to cheating on her, which I find rather hypocritical considering..." He trails off, smiling at you. "Forget it." He raises his glass, clinking yours. "To you, for being an amazing intern." He slams back his glass, putting it down and grabbing ahold of the aged bottle of whiskey to pour himself.
You smile awkwardly, raising your glass before taking another sip of your wine. You piece it together in your head, realizing that his wife must've committed adultery; just like almost every other married person you've worked alongside so far. "Jesus, Declan. I'm sorry." You mumble, hearing Seb's singing end in the distance.
"Please, don't apologize. It wasn't your fault." Declan says, a look of yearning in his eyes.
"If I were her, I'd never do anything of the sort. If I was with someone like you I'd cherish it everyday." You say, finishing your glass of wine.
Declan raises a brow, chuckling heartily. "And someone would be very, very lucky to have you y/n." He replies, the two of you locked in a stare.
You were definitely drunk by now, and wine always gave you an edge to flirt with whomever you found most attractive in the room. You place a hand on his arm, finally knowing what it was like to feel his muscles through the thin material of his button up. "You deserve better, Declan." You say, rubbing your thumb along his bicep. You watch as the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile, placing his hand over yours on his arm.
"How'd you think I did?" Seb asks, returning the bar and interrupting the moment between you and Mr. O'Hara. You pull back, turning yourself to face Seb.
"You did great, Seb." You say, pressing a kiss on his cheek, causing his face to go as red as his hair. "I think I'm gonna give it a shot, show the English what talents an American has." You grin, unable to make eye contact with Declan out of embarrassment for trying to flirt with a married man. However, the commonality of cheating on spouses here still gave you a sliver of hope as you walked towards the stage, a mask of confidence due to alcohol consumption.
"What song are you gonna do?" Seb asks, following in suit.
"You'll see." You say. You walk up to the host, whispering a song in their ear. They nod, giving you a thumbs up as you get on the stage.
Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears starts to play, causing the entire place to riot with excitement. You grin madly, grabbing ahold of the microphone as the lyrics begin to play. You watch as Declan makes his way through the crowd, standing between Freddie and Seb to watch you perform.
"I wanted to be with you alone And talk about the weather But traditions I can trace against the child in your face Won't escape my attention."
You dance along to the music, singing freely like no one was watching.
"You keep your distance via the system of touch And gentle persuasion I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much? Oh, you're wasting my time You're just, just, just wasting time..."
You now make eye contact with Declan O'Hara, singing the chorus. Everyone's dancing around, paying no mind to where your attention was.
"Something happens and I'm head over heels I never find out until I'm head over heels Something happens and I'm head over heels Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart Don't, don't, don't throw it away..."
Declan watches you in admiration, realizing you're singing directly at him. You look away for the rest of the song, only returning your gaze when the chorus comes up again. When the song ends, you give a little curtesy, putting the mic back on the stand as everyone cheers madly.
"That was brilliant, y/n!" Seb exclaims, holding you in an embrace. You laugh, hugging him back. "Thanks, Seb."
"Seb, can you do one with me?" Daysee asks, causing Seb to pull away from you. "Course, what're you thinking?" The two of them walk away, leaving you be to earn compliments from the rest of your colleagues.
"You have a great voice." Declan says, causing you to turn and face him. "Great song, too." He adds.
"Thanks, it was a personal choice." You say, the next song starting up. Dreams by Fleetwood Mac starts playing, Seb and Daysee's choice. "Fuck, I love this song." You exclaim, looking over at the stage as your friends begin to sing along.
"As do I," Declan says. "Care to dance?" He asks, causing your gaze to return to his outstretched hand.
You smile. "I'd love to." You place one hand on his shoulder, the other in his hand as he places a hand on the small of your back. Your breathing becomes more shallow as the two of you rock to the music, staring into each other's eyes.
You didn't know if you were simply too drunk to acknowledge the reality of the situation, but you couldn't help but wonder if Declan was starting to like you a little more than just an intern that was great at her job.
The space between the two of you becomes insignificant, your head slowly leaning onto his chest as his hand moves down to your lower back, staying at the top of your skirt. You close your eyes as the two of you rock in sync, hearing his heart beat rather triumphally. Your stomach is full of butterflies, and the heat between your legs is almost unbearable as he rubs small circles on your lower back.
He smelled like Tom Ford cologne and Marlboro Golds with an undertone of whiskey, the scent of him nearly more intoxicating than the alcohol itself. You feel his chest vibrate as he quietly sings along to the song, causing you to pull your head back to look at him. You both start singing along, your faces merely inches away from each other.
"When the rain washes you clean, you'll know You'll know You will know Oh, you'll know.."
The song ends, everyone erupting into applause as you register the proximity of you and Declan, taking a step back as you notice the stares of your colleagues.
"Thanks for the dance." You mumble, looking down at the ground. "I uh, need to find Seb he's my ride." You say abruptly, leaving Declan stunned on the dancefloor as you hurriedly approach your ginger colleague. "Can you drive me home now?" You ask, putting a hand on his arm.
"Uh, yeah. Sure. Do you need a ride too Daysee?" He asks, the blonde shaking her head.
"'M alright. I'll see you lads on Monday." She says, grinning as the two of you grab your coats from the bar stools.
"Goodbye, Declan." You say, making eye contact with the brooding man who simply looks at you.
"Goodnight, y/n." He responds, inhaling his cigarette before looking away.
You feel a pang in your chest as you look at Declan for another moment, expecting more. He says nothing else. Seb leads you away from the bar, allowing you to let go of any longing between you and Mr. O'Hara.
Declan knew it was wrong to think of you in any other light outside of work. Even if Maud had cheated on him before, with the tendency to keep going at it, he still couldn't shake the guilt away just yet. He retreated to disregarding you as a means to hopefully make you both forget about the whole ordeal, as if he wasn't thinking about what it would be like to have his hands underneath that tight pencil skirt of yours.
He groaned and ran a hand through his hair, lighting another cigarette. The holiday season was about to be a real hassle, and he was afraid of asking Santa for what he really wished for this time around.
-
guys... i finally did it... declan o'hara i want you so bad. i think im just gonna write a part two to this maybe three, and leave it at that. if you have any requests pweaseee leave them for meeee this show has me in a CHOKEHOLD.
much love as always, isabel
43 notes · View notes
l0verclown · 3 days ago
Text
From pressured to driven Part 2
What happens when you feel pressured to do something you never thought you'd do?
Especially if 4 serial killers are the ones pressuring you.
Slight ronin x reader
| spoilers for Killer chat!!! This is part two of "From pressured to driven". As always, my writing sucks so its probably Ooc. I have no idea if i want to continue with more parts, but hey who knows.
TW: Mention of murder, going insane, light gore, SA?(forced kissing)
PSA: I don't support neither am i trying to glorify/Normalize the words mentioned above. SA should be taken serious and it is not meant to be joked around.
Part 1:
Tumblr media
You were walking around, searching for any "victims" to kill whilst trying not to freak out by the amount of corpses were in the alley. Damm, you knew Ronin liked going on killing sprees, but this much? If you counted every corpse you have walked past, it would be already above the 20. It didn't feel right, seeing all those unfortunate souls all on the ground, but you also couldn't help continue searching because before you know you are one going to become one of them if they find out.
*Ding!*
A notification?
Dear Reader,
I heard that you were writing a book, which is pretty interesting so my congratulations for that one.
moving on, one of our best reporters, Greg, has unfortunately resigned.
So my question to you is if you are able to make five new articles before the clock hits midnight. I expect at least two articles, but my apologies if this has come to you late, but if you are able to do it, i will try my best to reduce the amount of work you already have.
I wish you the best of luck on this.
Kind regards
Your boss.
You have to be serious. Five whole articles?
Not only did you have to make five new articles, you have to find a way to pretend that you killed a person. Not only that, it was 19:21.
19:21...
Fuck.
You have 4 hours and 30 minutes before midnight. You have to find a solution, and quick. Fuck, maybe you do want to kill someone, and with someone you mean your boss or either Greg.
Greg...
Always him, the 'best' reporter in the company. Total bullshit, he was average, a total pervert even. But the fact he resigned and that you had to chase after his bullshit!?
You felt anger raising up, adrenaline rushing through your veins, the amount of stress and anger that was mixed in your body was insufferable, that if you went to a therapist, they would either send you to a mental hospital or diagnose you with whatever mental disorder is popular.
*Ding!*
Another notification..?
@BestGregg: Hey Reader! Sorry for resigning so early and sudden but i got offered a wayy better job, and i couldn't pass up on that offer. Btw make sure to finish those assignments lol and because i'm resigning, how 'bout we meet up? I mean ur kinda chill and its gonna be fun. So what do you think?
Seriously? A meet up? Who does he think he is? My dad???
@SerialMC: Uhh..
sure i guess. Can we meet up here? *Insert Purgatory location*, i'll wait for u there, I'm here with some friends but i'm sure they don't mind.
@BestGregg: Sweet, i'll be there in 10 minutes, be prepared to have the best night of ur life ;)
Not only is he a total loser, he's a total pervert too. You continued walking, your mind just being full of total bullshit right now. First, your serial killer friends want you to kill somebody, second your stupid boss wants you to write 5 articles, and third your perverted ex-coworker wants to hangout and is going to try to hit on you.
Life's been going shit these weeks, you got hit with an inspiration block which means no more idea's for your next book. You've been trying to find out on how to tell the server that you're not actually a serial killer (What will probably never happen) and now this.
You gripped the knife that you previously found tighter, resisting the urge to even throw it. You can't kill anyone, you don't want to kill anyone, but in your state, it seemed like the only solution left.
"EYY READER, WHERE ARE YOU!?"
"I have a feeling they left"
"No way, they wouldn't leave us, their friends behind, i know them."
"Hah, So they're not as tough as they seem huh?"
"Hey! Don't say that, people like us just have our own struggles. Just let us be you edgeboy"
Fuck fuck fuck.
They were searching for you, and you haven't done anything at all, and looking at the time, that stupid greg should be somewhere here now.
How the fuck did you end up in this position!? Seriously, this would've been some fun hanging out day, but it always ends up in trouble. You just wished you could bury yourself somewhere.
"Yooo Reader it's me Greg!"
How he greeted himself scared the shit out of you, you hid the knife somewhere in your jacket, so he wouldn't notice. It was pretty dark out here, but from the looks of it and how he talked seemed like he had a bit to drink.
"Oh hey.. Greg."
"Whats up with the sad face reader? Are you not happy to see me?"
"No it's just. Work and stuff.. Gotta write 5 articles.. Ha ha.."
"Awh damn, sorry reader. Didn't know i was that important to the company, i mean, being the best reporter in the department? Hell yeah!"
He continued talking about how cool, and important he was that you didn't notice that you were basically backing up into a corner because of how much he talked.
"Ohh yeah, I think you need to confess something, reader."
"Confess.. What?"
He got closer to you, basically trapping you in that corner that you went to yourself. You said you wanted to bury yourself somewhere? Guess that place is here. He leaned into your face, you could feel his intoxicated breath, it reeked of alcohol and whatever cocktails he was drinking, but he didn't seem to go away.
"Don't act stupid, i know how you've been looking at me, you like me, don't you?"
Like. Him?
You hated that man. First, he got with all your female coworkers, he's the so-called "best reporter", he acts like a total asshole, pervert, and his looks are like the devil himself tried making the ugliest person that has ever existed. Not only that, but he has so much controversy, but of course, your boss ignores it because he was a good worker.
"I don't understand? I don't like you?
"Don't be shy, i know what you want"
Before you knew it, he slammed his lips into yours, forcefully kissing you as he held you by the waist. You yelped in disgust, tears starting to form in your eyes. You hated it, you couldn't move, you felt helpless. After he was done kissing you, he looked at you with a grin and you looked terrified.
"Look, you enjoyed that didn't ya? C'monn, i know ya want more"
"And don't worry, i won't go rough on you"
Oh.
Is this your end?
No.
It is not.
You can change
Maybe they will say you became corrupted.
But was it really, if it originated from fear?
You slowly gripped the knife you hid in your jacket, and held it tight in your hand.
"You know what i want..."
You put your free hand on his chest, he leaned in, looking like he wanted to kiss you, but before you could do that, you plunged that knife right into his chest.
He screamed, but you continued. You kept stabbing him near his heart, he tried pushing you off of himself, but you were too determined to finish him. After everything he did, all you wanted to do is never see him again.
Countless screams were forming in his throat, it sounded so god awfull, but that is why it was perfect. That's what stupid, perverted good for nothing deserve. A deep plunge in the heart. At this point, you were sure the rest could've heard the screams and were probably heading your way, but you didn't care about that. For now.
You pushed his body to the ground, before gripping two hands on the handle of the knife, and plunged even harder into his chest. You dragged the knife from his chest to his intestines, before stabbing him again for countless times. You felt anger and stress slowly leave, the crimson staining you. You felt.. Weird. You did feel guilty, yes but after all he did. He deserved it. You ripped out the knife, before hearing some voices behind you.
"Oh my, So Darlin' did end up killin someone huh? And even stabbing the intestines? How gruesome, i like that"
You turned around, hearing the voices of your friends
"Oh shit... Who that guy was, he was definitely hated by them.. Look at the stab marks holy shit, reader went batshit and im here for it"
"Oh.. My, reader, how are you feeling? I don't think that guy was some ordinary guy guys.."
"... The sight is gruesome"
You laughed, you kept laughing before finally stabbing the knife into his skull. He was finally gone.
".. That guy was my ex coworker. He kept stressing me out, making flirty moves, and.. Ended up forcefully kissing me."
Angel looked at you with a mix of reassurance and a look of "I've been there", and she slowly approached you along with Misaki. Meanwhile Misaki was a bit in denial, not because of the fact that you killed him, but because what he did to you. V was crossing his arms and shaking his head, while Ronin was heading towards the guy.
".. What you did there, reader.. I, oddly relate to it. Weird creepy perverted men hitting on you while you weren't doing anything? Killing him was a good choice, reader."
Angel was quite literally an angel. She is nice, she is understanding and she can relate to anyone. You're great full you have her as a friend.
Misaki was giving you constant back pats, trying to comfort you from that guy. You noticed that she was trying to lighten the mood.
"Hey so.. That guy was a total creep, and what you did was totally valid- I mean as a pervert, what did he expect?"
You forced a laugh out of that one, it was funny but for the sake of Misaki, you cracked a laugh so that she wouldn't suspect anything. But you know she meant good, if it was up to her, she would've killed the guy in a second.
V was looking at you and the guy, sighing before muttering out a sentence.
"You finished him, not for fun or for entertainment.. But for your safety and because of fear. Not bad at all."
His words shock you, because you didn't expect him to say that at all. You didn't really speak to him, and when you did, he was always on some "I will find out who you are" shit. Guess V is able to feel some sympathy after all.
You didn't even notice the fact that Ronin was ripping apart that guy's chest to grab his heart, you were starting to hear some weird- crack and bone breaking noises, that you couldn't help but look backwards at the body to find Ronin trying to obtain the guys heart.
Eventually, Ronin had the heart in his hand, and looked at you with a smile
"Darlin', Would ya mind giving me his aorta? And it's that ugly guy's heart, which makes it 10x better. C'monn, do it for the poor little devil."
He looked at you, with that stupid little smile from the first time you kissed, the moment you began rotting and corrupting. You laughed, and took the heart. Since Ronin started talking about the Aorta that much, you decided to google search a bit just to know where it was for a moment like this (which you never actually expected to happen)
You carefully ripped some of the other pieces of the heart, accidentally deattaching the superior vena cava and some artery, but eventually you managed to remove the aorta, and handed it to Ronin.
"To my dearest devil, the one who corrupted me."
Angel looked at Ronin with a look of "What the actual fuck ronin." and he just laughed. You smiled and He gave you a hair ruffle and put the aorta in some weird place in his bag. Gross, but hey, he can do whatever he wants.
You looked at your clothes, It was basically stained red now, but your face, hands and pants were a total mess. You sighed, before thinking of a way on how to get home without getting the police after you.
" You look like a complete fuckin mess. Not that i'm complaining, but you probably are. How 'bout i give you a ride to my house, and stay there?"
You wanted to agree, you didn't mind the idea, but you wondered about the others, what about them? It would be quite rude to leave them here.
Before you could say anything, Misaki overheard the convo and made an idea.
"YOO IS THAT A SLEEPOVER I HEAR!?"
".. I'm not really fond of sleepovers."
"Maybe we could? I mean it is the best way to end the hangout"
". Fuck no, i don't have enough space for five people. And besides, i don't think anyone can survive the devils little hideout"
"Stop being edgy for once ronin, your living room is big enough"
".. Wow, guess i have no choice do i?"
"A sleepover it is, then."
You decided to take a photo of the body, and you were planning on sending it in the server. To have some more 'evidence' that you killed someone. Would your old self be proud of you? Absolutely not, but people change. You changed by being rotten and corrupted, and you wouldn't want it any other way.
weird..
You have this odd feeling that doesn't go away
It feels like a craving.
More killing, it screams your name.
You feel like killing more people.
Their agony, your pleasure.
Time to show them what you have become.
18 notes · View notes
starmocha · 24 hours ago
Note
Tumblr media
✨️STAR APPLE✨️ THIS IS SO CUTEEE YES PLS LET’S MAKE THIS THEIR SHIP NAME ⭐️🍎
Some things I had forgotten:
I am very much into the Supreme Chef Caleb x Garbage Disposal BF Xavier dynamic
Caleb would be so excited to use this opportunity to test out new recipes 🥹
Xavier would be excited to eat, but he offers no helpful criticism, much to Caleb's chagrin 😔
"Come on, Xav, is there anything I should do differently next time?"
"No? It tastes good already."
"That's what you've said about everything I make..."
"Because everything you make tastes good." Xavier is confused. It seems so obvious.
Caleb is a little stunned, kind of embarrassed. "...maybe I should ask Zayne to taste test for me."
Cue annoyed, jealous pouty bunny 😈
"Why? Aren't I enough?"
Caleb delights in making Xavier annoyed, so he does it often to mess with him 😭✋️
"I just need some actual criticism."
"...I can offer some criticism," Xavier says, still pouting, "...you can use less vegetables next time. And maybe add more meat..."
Caleb is wheezing with laughter at this. "You are unbelievable..."
Xavier sulks. "..."
I may or may not have thought out multiple scenes for this supposedly story I am not writing 👉👈
It's close to finals week, and Xavier wakes up in the middle of the night to the smell of delicious food
Caleb is stress-cooking (again) and using this as an outlet from studying too hard
Xavier crawls sleepily out of bed and just...leans against Caleb's back, surprising him.
Still half-asleep, Xavier mumbles sleepily, "...smells good..."
Caleb laughs softly. "Want to taste test for me?"
He guides a spoon to Xavier's mouth.
"...yummy..."
"...you're still asleep, aren't you?"
Xavier just...falls into Caleb's arms, still sleepy. Caleb is surprised, but he smiles.
"...you smell like hong shao rou..."
"I'm making hong shao rou."
"Mm...my favorite..."
"I know."
xaviers gonna eat their entire semesters worth of Ramen in like a night xD
aksksdkakaks ok but Anon, have you also considered
Xavier + Caleb as dormmates 🙂‍↕️
35 notes · View notes
bread-of-death · 1 year ago
Text
I might skin someone alive.
9 notes · View notes
moonchild-in-blue · 8 months ago
Text
Australian Rituals / Teeth of God Tour Bingo
Alroighte gwois, let's hear your predictions for the upcoming rituals. I *might* make another bingo (like on Wembley) - even if I don't, let's get them all in one place cus I think it's funny.
If you have something specifically for the Teeth of God Tour (because they are headliners and can do Cooler™ Fancier™ stuff) do specify. Same for strictly Australian Rituals. Some stuff may happen earlier (like when they debuted TMBTE and the new Espera masks), others may only happen on the Tour, so let's just put them all here and see what happens 😗✌️
Please reblog/put on the replies your predictions!! Whether serious or silly, please share!
Mine are:
One of the Vessels (Vessel or ivy OR Espera!!!!) singing onstage with Oli
Kangaroo/koala headbands / Aussie Explorer hat
EUCLID (more for Teeth of God but wouldn't be surprised if earlier)
The Apparition (PLEASE)
The Summoning pushups will return
Older song throwback (please please Sugar or Jaws. TNDNBTG for ToG)
Outfit change for the Vessels (only cus i think Australia is quite hot now innit? poor iv will MELT in that jacket)
NEW VESSEL JEWELLERY
This one I'm not super confident/keen on BUT new Vessel mask with Antlers (more likely on ToG but who knows)
73 notes · View notes
icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
... why he sit like this
#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little#rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo#cats#It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually#getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol#Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime#I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad.#Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering#all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty#e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time#that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense#that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh#I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol#which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything#I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still#recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually#slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.'#ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever#reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished#any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky#and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly#going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et#etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make#stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin#.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care#and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists.#take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc#ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it#82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol......#ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol
102 notes · View notes
running-in-the-dark · 7 months ago
Text
kinda disappointed with how this weekend went. I mean, it wasn't bad! but it was our first weekend in the new apartment, and I/we wanted to get a lot done. I already did a lot during the week (a lot for me, not a lot for most people I guess), but there's lots of things that I can't do/can't do on my own, either because I'm too short or not strong enough or I need someone else to hold something or whatever. which realistically just won't get done during the week because my husband works full time, so. it sort of sucks that only one very small, unimportant thing got done. 😔
9 notes · View notes
goodplace-janet · 9 months ago
Text
please answer this silly little poll of a me who was confused in a history lecture today
9 notes · View notes
todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
Text
brother was talking to me about how if you almost die from an extreme-temperature-related incident then your body is just forever fucked towards that temperature and that's why i think kiryu and saejima are weak to ice. i dont know why aoki isn't like that too but ignore that statistic everything else tracks.
#snap chats#i already made this post highkey but im making it again cause i didnt know this was an actual real thing ☠️#my brother learned this when he started to work for target. because apparently that's a thing they tell you frame one#'snap how did this topic even come up' i am LITERALLY so glad you asked :) the cold has almost claimed me twice#am i exaggerating Maybe but its my fucked up body temperature now listen#when i was younger i got locked out of my house for like. three hours since i was a latchkey kid#and my dad wasn't supposed to come home with my siblings (from their after school events) for Three Hours#and it had snowed outside and Was Cold Yeah and i couldn't get in cause i forgot my key like a weiner#and yeah. was really cold :) my dad was real cross with me when he found me shivering in the shed LOL#he made me hot cocoa tho so its ok. second incident's just funny No I Talk About It Evvery Other Week#and im p sure i talked bout the first incident too but yeah that time after the con when i was at my sister's#like i cannot stress how cold it was because It Was Late November and the cold still existed#and my sister's heater just. Didnt Work but yeah. i wont go into detail cause i share this story every five seconds#POINT IS i've always had a hard time with the cold- like i'm cold nearly all the time even if the room is 90 degrees#i wont be COLD cold but i'll be colder than i like#anyways can't believe i'm weak to ice this is so sad. i love winter..#aoki isn't weak to ice cause uhhhh /aoki/ didnt almost die in the cold 🥴 masato did 🥴#imagine changing your identity so well that you just remove your past elemental weakness. fucked up.#alright bye
19 notes · View notes
thethingything · 21 days ago
Text
ended up clearing a bunch of stuff off the bed to make it easier to sort stuff out later and I think I feel worse now because our room looks different in a way that for some reason is triggering flashbacks to stuff from years ago and I don't know why
3 notes · View notes
coquelicoq · 1 year ago
Text
just got a biopsy to see if my [checks notes] 15-week period is because of cancer. however then my friends drove me to get chocolate and the new martha wells novel so, you know, there are pros and cons here.
#the epic highs and lows of having a uterus#highs: people buy you chocolate!!#lows: all the other stuff :(#anyway i am. a lil stressed out lol#also pretty lightheaded! i'm not really even sure why because ok so yeah i was already anemic from the 15 weeks of bleeding#plus i was anemic before that also#plus there was a lot of blood during the biopsy. but i feel like that blood was just the stuff in my uterus that'd be coming out anyway#as opposed to new blood from within my veins or something#and i'm still sick lolllll#so it's a fun time. BUT! martha wells novel! and i lent all systems red to a friend who will hopefully become obsessed with murderbot#and talk to me about it constantly! (<-my endgame at all times)#it's so funny every time i've been to the doctor they're like 'date of your last period?' and i'm like april 9th. and it is ongoing.#and then we just 😬 at each other#anyway cross your fingers for me. apparently if the biopsy comes back negative they don't have other ideas for what could be going on#not sure how to feel about that. obviously i don't want to have cancer but it's very stressful not knowing what is going on#do i just bleed forever indefinitely??? i'll be real with you lads that doesn't seem great :/#she was like next step would be to put in a hormonal iud and i was like that is absolutely not an option that i will consider#i would sooner get a hysterectomy#so idk maybe i will get a hysterectomy! biopsy results in a week. okay. ending the tags now#if anybody wants me to trigger tag for cancer mentions let me know and i can definitely do that going forward <3
31 notes · View notes
fridayyy-13th · 3 months ago
Text
i am feeling So Many Things at the moment but mostly i just feel like a disaster
#friday chats#tw vent#it's like.#new school - far from family - already behind - new crush - really tired - fucking focus would you?! - new show - undone chores#on and on and on#a big ball of highs and lows that - instead of mellowing out into a net positive or negative -#- just make me feel like i'm being pulled in two opposite directions#why can't i just have the good and not the bad#i really wanted to take a gap year to decompress from All Of High School but my parents refused#kind of wish i took it regardless. just ''whoops - missed the application deadline! i'll get it in next year'' and faced their ire#but then i wouldn't have met my new friend at freshman camp#we both were individually interested in the queer orgs on campus and could have still met that way#but idk. it wouldn't have been the same#mostly i'm just worried i'm not cut out for living on my own. being an adult with a job. doing college at all.#not because people who have to rely on others/don't have a job/drop out are supposedly failures#but bc i don't have anybody i could safely fall back on AND live a life that is entirely my own if i don't make it#all i've got is my family. who will judge me for failing and force me to stay in the closet.#and frankly i don't want to live like that#so i have to keep going#but also part of me's like. ''you're ready to throw in the towel only a week in?? for fuck's sake friday come on''#it was just so much. i don't know. i just want to rest. i've been stressed for so long#i want a life where my needs are met and i feel safe and loved. that's all#but NOO i have to get a DEGREE to get a JOB so i can even begin to THINK of something like that#my family always jokes about how one day when i'm successful as an author i'll be super rich and have a private jet or whatever#and yeah that just speaks to how poorly they know me but more importantly IF i make it that big i just want to settle somewhere nice#somewhere cozy. maybe start a garden. get a cat. hold a loved one close at night. that's it really#and it sure would be nice if i could have that without having to bend over backwards getting a degree and a 9-to-5 or w/e#but i can't. so throwing myself at the wall that is my shit executive function it is.
4 notes · View notes
fansids · 1 year ago
Text
Welp, I've finished the season 4 special...
Anyway-
22 notes · View notes