#and maybe it’s just me but my ‘trust the process’ view of things is kinda falling apart after this season

[artesiant]

The Alexi interview kinda… idk

I feel like he misinterpreted what the fans really want (that be regarding chenford and the show in general). The constant “How do we add drama!” comment didn’t sit well with me.

[magua-vida]

SLAY THE QUEEN THORN

I was inspired by Abby's sketch of a hypothetical Queen version of the Princess, so I tried my hand at it with a few vessels, including this one. I... ended up drawing something akin to a fashion design concept art rather than a practical design that won't be tiring to draw over and over after a handful of sprites later. I also had to use a bit more artistic license growing unnatural poppies on the dress and the thick twirly prickly noodles.

some explanations behind the process

For the "mended" Thorn, I pretty much just removed the foreground thorns and added the dirt.

rambling/fangirling/screenshots below:

The Thorn is one of my favorites. If I had to choose only five vessels to offer to Shifty and there's no replayable feature, she'll definitely be one of them. I'm one of those suckers who's into Hurt/Comfort stories. Almost like a masochist for those fics, you could say. If the climax to an Action-heavy story is the defeat of one party, then the catharsis of Hurt/Comfort is when the two characters... well, comfort each other- either due to hurt from each other or someone else. In The Thorn's case, she started off rather innocently, Damsel-like, but not quite. She still had caution. It was until she was literally stabbed in the back that she learned that it was a mistake. And when Long Quiet offered sincere regret and admission of fault, she stabbed him... but she didn't feel the relief she thought she'd get from it. I think many relate to having been betrayed and/or betraying someone they trusted, and the scratches are felt by many players.

The thorns curve inward, as if it's more painful to leave her than it is to approach her.

Poppies grow around along the bramble. Many mistook them for roses because they're red and there are brambles (tbh, I actually dunno if they're brambles or briars, I looked them up and I got confused, forgive me, plant enthusiasts ;.;) that grow around the patches of those poppies. Death and romance~

This brings back to Chapter 1 where Hero was kinda-sorta-maybe-definitely crushing on the Princess and wants to give her the benefit of the doubt, not only because of feelings, but for a reasonable cause of wanting to rescue someone who possibly may actually be a victim of circumstance.

Look, I have reasons why Thorn route is one of my favorites and it definitely doesn't have anything to do with both characters having massive trust issues and the capability to change themselves for better or worse and the emotional moments hitting me like a lovely diamond-dusted dagger. Both of them are rather cat-like with pointy ears too.

I appreciate that you're still given the options to leave or stab Thorn, as if the situation isn't pitiable enough. Even her tiara looks like a crown of thorns. It's as if she views the thorns as both a form of penance and a defence mechanism to protect herself from being hurt again, even though she's hurt by her own making this time.

I chose for the Long Quiet to save her and leave the cabin together.

This part stabbed me the most. Even when shown genuine help, she shrinks back.

This part burns a bit of the jadedness away. Trust is a scary thing, so is love. How can you be so sure that you won't be hurt by the one you love again? But just like what The Prisoner says, it's about trust- blind trust. Thorn looks more human than her previous self- less animalistic, softer. A part of The Damsel returns, even in the music.

I recall weighing on whether I prefer the version with the Voice of the Cheated or Voice of the Smitten. I vaguely remember wondering if there was an option to ask her if it's okay to kiss her. I guess the ideal would be is to have that choice, but I suppose the climactic moment calls for it and she doesn't mind it, at least. It's like the option to hug Astarion from BG3, but you're not sure whether he'd be comfy with it after being hurt so much. He gave approval for it too~

As much as Thorn is one of my favorites, I'm not attracted to her and any of the vessels. Instead, I ship her with the Long Quiet- the character himself. I don't really see myself AS the Long Quiet, more like choosing what actions on what he does and I separate myself from him a lot for many reasons. It's a bit like the Harry situation from Disco Elysium in terms of seemingly blank-slate protagonists.

Instead, I kinda put myself into her situation to feel how she felt in this route. The poppies not only felt symbolic of her nature as part of the Shifting Mound, but also specifically the end of the mutual treachery you've inflicted on each other, potentially beginning anew on a path of healing.

==============ramble-bramble over===================

[gnashingwailing]

GIRL (gender neutral) HELP NOT THE PEER REVIEWED HOMOPHOBIA

@fireflywritesgt sending u my ch 24/25 thoughts <3

⬆️How Harry looks processing how upset he is that Joe nearly died in a lake while lovingly making him tea for his hangover

Meanwhile, Joe: I hope sober Joe knows how to deal with this Sober Joe:

First off. this is primarily a reflection on Joe & Harry throughout these last two chapters but I would be remiss not to mention how EXTREMELY fed I am by the Gutters lore ... was HE a pet or was it someone he cared for... either way... woof. Plus Calloway coming to Joe's rescue once again... even though there are now rumors and Gutters saw something. In parallel with the marking scene ... this story does such a great job of balancing the horror with the levity. maybe it's for the best Joe isn't telling Harry the particulars of his visiting Calloway's bcuz Harry might just have a heart attack if he stops and thinks through the implications of all this. Wonder if he realizes how much danger he might have put Joe in... he seems to kinda forgor everything else where saving/supporting Joe is concerned (as seen in ch21 when he wanted to bring Joe to see O'Grady...)

(Btw I love the way (sober) Joe will NEVER admit anything re: Harry saving his life lol. “You just threw me into a curtain 🙄“ “I don’t even remember the turtle 🙄”)

“He knew what the medical journals had to say about homosexuals; hell, he had read them! He had to give himself some credit, however. The little bastard had been drunk as a skunk, lying helplessly in his hand, and the worst Harry had done was march him straight upstairs to tuck him into bed. Whatever pathology Harry himself had, it had not gotten the best of him yet.”

GIRL (gn) HELP NOT THE PEER-REVIEWED INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA… The Harry chapters always hit soooo hard for me when you read between the lines of what he’s thinking. He is SUCH a poor little guy… We can see pretty clearly that Harry thinks of his affections as something poisonous but Also apparently as something predatory? “his pathology” “getting the best of him” being like… what? That he’d take advantage of him because he’s attracted to him ? Is that the kind of thing the research said? UGH IT BREAKS MY HEART. I hope he’ll reject his coping mechanism of rationalizing and dissecting everything and just let go and trust Joe to know what he wants! It would be really tragic if Harry tried rejecting Joe much the same way Georgie rejected him :’(

“Harry, though he hated to admit it, was afraid – not of Joe himself, but what Joe represented.” - OUUUUUGHHH THE PARALLELS… the way Joe thought the exact same thing after the night of the thunderstorm… ouuuuughhhhh save meeee...

And the parallels continue in their tendency to self-harm… Joe may be more overt about it (lol if Harry ever learns that Joe has purposefully eaten poisoned chocolate three. times. and fully thought he was doing it a 4th with Harry’s own offering … #girl…) but Harry’s absolute repression of any self-expression or vulnerability is equally a form of self-harm… questioning Joe’s ability to make his own decisions is such a sad expression of how Harry (maybe unconsciously?) views things — safety and staying alive is worth more than authenticity. Maybe he won’t stick Joe in a cage anymore but he still wants to exert control over him — in the relatable way many of us do when we feel like our loved ones are making bad decisions. And Joe is making some of those! But so does everyone! And in Joe’s case the worst of them are likely driven from years of internalized self-loathing and self-neglect !! He would probably chill out if he just had a good man waiting for him at home……. Taking Harry by the shoulders and shaking him. U are both two sides of the same coin

Except

“Unseasoned. The word crept back into Joe’s mind. Calloway had a point, he realized; Harry wasn’t acting all that different from some of the lesser-experienced boys of Joe’s own size that he had toyed with. Surely, though, Harry didn’t find Joe attractive. That would be absurd!” Holy shit this whole chapter is so good but this part is hysterical. 1. TOYED WITH⁉️ 2. Watching Harry’s brain overheat in real time while 3. Joe getting to enjoy flirting shamelessly (clapping and hollering that he got to do that AND got to be sober to remember it) WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BEING LIKE 🤨 there’s no way he finds me attractive tho. How do they both manage to be such conniving little bastards and also so innocent. So clever and yet soooo dumb. 💕

But even tho he’s somewhat in disbelief about how Harry feels about him, Joe knows himself so very well lmao. At first I thought he was lying about not remembering their conversation but. I don’t think so. Harry telling him he said “something very nice” to him and Joe being like. Was it that you had a nice ass. LIKE HE WAS THIS 🤏 CLOSE TO THE MARK BDDJSHHD but ALSO even just calling Harry handsome made him a blushing mess!! It fascinates me that Harry is so terrified of receiving affection but he felt much more at ease when he was giving it. I mean, he was calling Joe handsome two chapters ago‼️ I think Joe can be forgiven for his romance-novel-brain idealizing Harry as a seductor. It says something interesting about Harry’s character that he’s been so comfortable complimenting Joe until it might lead somewhere … Is that open, easygoing kindness, the sort that compliments other men readily, the ‘real’ Harry? Was Joe seeing his unvarnished personality before it got hidden under the internalized homophobia that has come out in force since ch22? I get the sense Harry is just the sort of guy whose true feelings sometimes spill out of him in a way he is barely cognizant of. We know that’s true for his anger, but I could see that being true for his affection, too. I’m guessing that is why his internal monologue goes “wow! He’s like a movie star :) and he’s so brave and cool and I respect him so much. He looks like a dancer. And his clothes look so good on him. And I notice his haircut and whether he’s getting enough sleep and every scratch and scrape and other intricacy of his appearance immediately. Yeah, I can’t help but love him - you know - like a brother or a friend!!” 👈 UNSEASONED

"“So you admit it. I’m up here because I manipulated you, and not because you manipulated me.” Joe said." — omfg. On the one hand, I love that these two are so good at unhanding each other, and it’s very cute to me that they’ve both at different points felt proud for “catching” one another. On the other hand, Harry & Joe when they are tasked with cultivating a mutually nurturing and vulnerable relationship:

WHAT IF NEITHER OF YOU ARE MANIPULATING THE OTHER AND DOING THIS BECAUSE YOU LIKE ONE ANOTHER AND YOU’RE BOTH CHOOSING THE UNKNOWN. WHAT IF THAT WASNT BEYOND BOTH UR KEN RN. What then. One day they will quit playing Tom and Jerry-esque mind games with each other but not today. I know the rituals are intricate. I know. I know they’re intricate 😔😔😔

On a lighter note so glad to see Joe’s other go-to behavior is back. If he doesn’t wanna Just Walk Out then he wants to Fuck Around & Find Out <3 I luv how compatible the two of them are… Joe is not only moving in he's turning Harry into the u-haul service and Harry is just enamored with him for it. Faithful hunting dog retrieving game indeed. Submissive in the way a livestock guardian dog is submissive to its sheep. 10/10 Joe got his ass so good.

"“I’m sure you[‘ll listen to me]. You have to. If I’m gonna be the tiny, then it means you have to be the giant and do everything I say all the time.” He said." — Hmm. Joe and I have the same g/t fics bookmarked I think 👍 I sort of get the same sense that Harry got when Joe was talking about “luck” — that maybe the idea of “being the tiny” vs “being the giant” has some cultural connotations for him we don’t quite grasp.

OH this reminds me of the question I meant to ask you and promptly forgot about. If miniatures have a taboo against taking things without giving something in return… what does it feel like for Joe when Harry just keeps giving him stuff? Does “paying me in sleep” really work in borrower cultural norms? Hazarding a guess, I’m assuming romantic partners don’t necessarily operate on the same principle of equivalent exchange… given “Joe’s got a rich boyfriend that’s spoiling him” being something Calloway reads as normal/expected … That is to say. Hmm. Is Harry giving Joe all these things something that a romantic suitor would do? 🤔 Harry the unknowing seductor…

Parting thoughts… Miss Wilkins’ dad suddenly came down with tuberculosis, huh. Gang, do we know how Harry’s mom died, other than that it was sudden and traumatic? How do we think Harry is doing re: pushing all his feelings & unprocessed trauma down at this time. 👍/👎?

[theconstantsidekick]

Randy's Donuts In A Suit Of Armor

Pairings: Tony Stark x Stark!Reader (siblings), Natasha Romanoff x Stark!Reader (little bit of flirting)

Genre: A bickering fluffy look back at the good times.

Summary:  Tony just wanted a goddamn donut after wrecking the shit out of his birthday party by being an asshole. He tried to throw himself a donut-themed pitty party but the universe is never that kind.

(These scenes incorporate y/n, codename—Static, into the pre-existing story as a character without making drastic changes to the plot or mythos. All the major plot points from the MCU remain in place with the addition of the reader as Static, who is not only a Stark but also enhanced. Whatever events from the canon aren’t mentioned, take place without much change.)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Death, Hints of Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Past Trauma.

a/n: dedicated to my dear reader @third-broparcelicito who wrote a whole-ass essay for me which kept me going through a rough time. Thank you so much.

sidenote: I just missed Tony a lot, ok?

Meet Natalie Rushman (previous part) | Series Masterlist | The Avengers (Ft. Static) | Age of Ultron (Static Origin Story) | Static Verse Masterlist  | Iron Man 1 (ft. Static) | Bucky Barnes, the Boyfriend

“Sir!  I’m gonna have to ask you to exit the donut.”

And man if that doesn’t throw Tony for a spin, cause when he looks down on the source of the voice, there stands a man in an all-black ensemble with a fucking eye-patch. If you don’t know where this is headed, in some ways Tony’s fucking jealous of you.

Reluctantly, he makes his way down and into Randy’s Donuts.

Seated opposite Fury in a booth that feels all too suffocating in his fucking suit made of gold-titanium alloy, with a coffee that was brewed at least two days ago sitting in front of him, and a giant-green-monster-who-tore-up-Harlem sized hangover crushing his head, he makes his displeasure at the situation known. “I told you I don’t wanna join your super-secret boy band.”

“No, no, no. See, I remember, you do everything yourself. How’s that working out for you?” Fury challenges.

“It’s… It’s… It’s…” Does it really look like he’s in the mood for a challenge? So, he deflects. “I’m sorry. I don’t wanna get off on the wrong foot. Do I look at the patch or the eye?” Lowering his sunglasses, he adds, “Honestly, I’m a bit hungover. I’m not sure if you’re real or if I’m having—”

Leaning in, Fury replies, “I am very real. I’m the realest person you’re ever gonna meet.”

Well, fuck, he thinks.

“Just my luck.” He looks over at the counter, “Where’s the staff here?”

The movement gives a full on show of his… situation? Yeah. Situation, let’s go with that. Fury gets a view of the situation he has at hand.

Fury’s hand comes flying to his neck, where he presumes his situation has become evidently concerning because then Fury says, “That’s not looking so good.”

“I’ve been worse.” He’s lying… kind of. The only thing he’s seen worse than this was back in the cave, which as is infamously known, not the best so, yeah. He’s kinda lying.

Anyway, what Tony sees next makes him want to spit his coffee out. Only thing stopping him is the fact that he might spit it on Fury and he doesn’t really wanna die in Rusty’s Donuts, hungover and shamed. He’d rather let the palladium poisoning take him out.

 “We’ve secured the perimeter but I don’t think we should hold it for too much longer.”

Well, fuck times two.

Looking over the top of his glasses in complete and utter disbelief, trying and failing awfully to contain his shock at this absolutely, “Huh,” he says. “You’re… fired.”

“That’s not up to you,” Replies Natalie—who is definitely not Natalie, from Legal, cause she’s wearing a full on S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent bodysuit and currently in the process of taking a seat next to Fury.

“Tony, I want you to meet Agent Romanoff,” Fury introduces her with what seems like giddy excitement? Who even knows. He’s a fucking spy, Tony trusts nothing about him. Fuck Tony thinks maybe he doesn’t trust anyone anymore, especially since Natalie Rushman is actually Agent Romanoff, who says the perimeter is secure.

“Hi,” Tony replies, while facepalming in some more shame.

“I’m a S.H.I.E.L.D. shadow. Once we were informed that you’re ill, I was tasked to you by Director Fury,” Natalie, fuck! No. Not Natalie. Agent Romanoff explains.

“I suggest you apologize,” Tony says looking her dead in the eyes.

“I agree, Nat,” Comes another voice, and like, honestly? At this point he’s DYING to die at the hands of the palladium cause living has brought him no joy whatsoever. Not when his sister is just… everywhere. “You deceived me,” She says as she slides in to sit next to Tony. “You made me fall in love. I was going to marry you. We were going to have two adorable little children and live a long happy life as that weird family at the end of the most suburban lane with the lesbian moms and their adopted asian babies. You really should apologize.” She steals his coffee and takes a sip, stopping only for a second to make a face of pure disgust. “You broke my heart. Oh and, the perimeter is very much not secure… The north exit? Wesley I think his name was? Yeah, he’s down.”

“How did you—” Natali—fuck. Not Natalie is about to ask something that Y/n can very obviously not answer honestly, so he cuts in.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I wanted a donut,” Y/n replies easily, like it’s the most boring thing in the world.

“You wanted a donut?” Huh?

“It’s a Pavlovian response; whenever I feel a deep, profound sense of disappointment I crave a donut, because you give me a fucking ‘apology donut’ everytime you disappoint me… which is really often.” She says it with air quotes and all.

“I don’t do it that often,” Tony tries to defend.

“You do it often enough for me to develop a fucking Pavlovian reponse to it, don’t you?”

“You’re making shit up, there is no chance in hell that I do it that often. I’m the pinnacle of siblinghood. I’m absolutely the best brother anyone could ask for, ever, and you know it,” He argues because well, he is. 

“A pinnacle?” She scoffs. “The only thing you’re the pinnacle of is being a self-destructive asshole.”

And what kinda shit is that to say to your beloved brother? Honestly, that’s just disrespectful if you ask him.

“Guess who I learned it from,” He throws back… like a self-destructive asshole.

“Hey, hey, HEY!” Fury shouts as if he’s trying to quiet the two bickering children. Which, yeah, he might as well be doing just that. “I’m not here to take part in your bullshit. I’m here, cause you’ve been very busy. You made your girl your CEO, donated half your shares to your sister, you’re giving away all your stuff. You let your friend fly away with your suit. Now, if I didn’t know better—”

“You don’t know better,” Tony cuts him off. “I didn’t give it to him. He took it.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Fury exclaims in the most mocking tone known to mankind. “He took it? You’re Iron Man and he just took it? The little brother walked in there, kicked your ass and took your suit?” He turns to Nata—Agent Romanoff (fuck!), adding, “Is that possible?”

Ever so slyly, she replies, “Well, according to Mr Stark’s database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorized usage.” She looks right at him, with a challenge in her eyes that unsettles Tony… this might just be the start of a beautiful friendship.

“What do you want from me?” He asks. Cause, come on. He’s doing the best that he can, given the cards that have been dealt.

“I don’t want anything from you—” He shrugs, almost reassessing his statement and deciding to roll with it. “Mostly nothing. You should be asking her instead.” He points to Y/n, meanwhile Nat—(motherfucker!) Agent Romanoff gets up and walks out. “She’s the one who called us in.” 

“YOU DID WHAT?” Tony’s about to blow his fucking gasket. 

But Y/n is calmer than ever, which if you know her is the most normal thing for her. “You’ve been behaving exactly the way you did when you got chicken-pox and thought you were going to die.” She turns to face him. “You’re exacerbating the problem by scratching away at the poxes like there is no tomorrow meanwhile giving away all your toys to people you love and leaving goodbye notes.” He almost forgot about that one, fuck. “I hate to break it to you, but Howard might have returned your G.I. Joe action figure, but Rhodey sure as shit not giving the suit back.” He remembers that. He had to beg Dad to give the toy back. Howard had only given it back because he’d made mom intervene. 

She shakes her head with a sort of disappointment then. “I don’t even want to think about how concerning it is that your self-destructive patterns haven’t changed a bit since you were four fucking years old.”

Before he can respond, Fury cuts in, “You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe. I have bigger problems than you in the southwest region to deal with.” What happens next, Tony has no time to register. There’s barely a second long pause before Fury looks up and commands, “Hit him.”

Suddenly there’s something being injected into his neck and his body is almost on fire from it. “Oh, God, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it?” Fidgeting with his hands around the neck he looks up at Nata—goddamn it! He looks up at Agent Romanoff who holds the now empty injection in her hands, he says, “Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds” He looks back at Fury,  “What did she just do to me?”

“What did we just do for you,” He corrects. “That’s lithium dioxide. It’s gonna take the edge off. We’re trying to get you back to work.”

“Give me a couple of boxes of that. I’ll be right as rain,” Tony says.

“It’s not a cure, it just abates the symptoms,” Agent Romanoff explains.

“Doesn’t look like it’s gonna be an easy fix,” Fury comments.

And you know what? He’s been ambushed twice in this conversation by people he thought he knew. And that’s not even counting the random injection of a so-called cure into him. So yeah, he’s a little short on patience. “Trust me, I know,” He says, with enough distaste that it makes Fury lean back. “I’m good at this stuff. I’ve been looking for a suitable replacement for palladium. I’ve tried every combination, every permutation of every known element.”

Fury leans back in, looks him in the eyes and says, “Well, I’m here to tell you, you haven’t tried them all.”

That stumps him for a second. Because, well you see, Tony’s been convinced he’s dying of this thing, this thing in his chest that while being absolutely foreign is an integral part of him now. He’s dying of the thing that he made to save himself and that’s been consuming his every waking (and most of his sleeping) hour. He had prepared himself for the worst, ready to face the bitter end, rotting from the inside out. It was a fitting way to go, he’d thought. The rot outside of him will have matched his insides. But that was his hubris. 

How could he have thought he could decide to give up on his own life, as if he didn’t share it with someone. That too with someone who was just a little bit more stubborn than him.

Suddenly, “All that remains is the matter of your signature,” Na—Agent fucking Romanoff says from next to them as she places a document in front of Y/n. “Just sign here and here, and we’re good to go.”

The tone of the room changes in an instant. He has seldom seen his sister uncomfortable, so you best believe he senses the change coming from miles away.

“Signature for what? What the hell is this?” Tony asks, completely confounded.

Y/n shifts uncomfortably in her seat, “I gave you my word, we shook hands—that should be more than enough. I don’t do documentation. You know that,” she says looking at Fury.

“You don’t do digital documentation,” He pushes the papers closer to her. “This is analog.”

Tony’s had enough.

“What the fuck are these for?” He asks, loudly.

“Integration of Y/n Stark as a S.H.I.E.L.D. Liaison,” Agent Romanoff replies easily.

He turns to his sister. “Ah. Of course, I’m the self-saboteur in the family. The only one.”

“Tony—”

He’s not in the mood to listen to her bullshit. “What the actual fuck, Y/n? Have you fucking lost your mind? You want to be a fucking liaison for S.H.E.I.L.D?”

“Are these rhetorical questions or are you hoping for a response?” The nonchalance in her attitude pisses him off even more.

“Where is all this attitude coming from, young lady? You really think this is a situation where you should be running your mouth—”

“Oh my fucking god! Tony! What the hell was I supposed to do? You were dying, literally being poisoned by this thing in your fucking chest and I was supposed to do what? Sit back and watch?”

“Do not put this on me. This is not on me! How is this on me? This is a decision you made! By yourself!”

“I didn’t make it in a fucking vaccume, did I—?”

“Everything is my fault? All of it? I am not taking responsibility for your stupidity—”

“—MY STUPIDITY?!! You’re the one who put decided to put a fucking magnet in your chest, jerkface—not me!”

“I’m sorry my solution to being blown up by a missile was inconvenient for you—a missile which by the way had my own fucking name on it—I didn’t have much choice in the matter—”

“UUUGGGGHHHHH! FUCK!! Here we go again. Here we go for the millionth time—”

“—On account of me being held prisoner in the fucking desert!”

“Are we still milking that? Really? Are all your future crimes absolved cause you were kidnapped‚—”

“I wasn’t kidnapped, I was abducted! And do you think I liked—”

“You did like it! You said it yourself, you narcissist—”

“That was a fucking joke, Lincoln Lawyer!”

“How was I supposed to know that?”

“You’re telling me you can’t gauge tone difference now? Really? You childish little shit—”

“You’re a fucking childish little shit—”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Fury shouts. “Shut up—” he cuts off any protest from the siblings before it even forms, “—the both of you. I’ll make you regret it if you don’t.” He fixes them with a look which makes the two Starks silently climb back off of each other and take their seats; once again a part of polite society. This must please Fury to some degree, because he clears his throat before continuing, “Now, here’s the deal, you both will sort this little quarrel out on your own damn time.” He looks over at Y/n, “And you have to sign this, we need proof of some sort. Besides, you will have access to some of the nastiest secrets known man, there has to be some sense of accountability? If you catch my drift?” Reluctant as ever, Y/n just grits her teeth in displeasure but remains otherwise silent. Fury takes this as her assent and moves on to him, “And you! She did this cause you were being a little shit about all of this. So, just be a little nicer maybe?” When Tony remains silent as well he takes that to be an agreement too. He gets up and out of his seat, brushes himself off and then begins to walk away, stopping only for a second to say, “I’ll see you crazy kids back at your place.” With that Fury is gone, and Agent Romanoff along with him.

There is a short silence between the two. It’s something like tense, but not really. 

Tony decides to break it. “You didn’t have to do this, you know?”

He can feel her shrug next to him. “Eh, it was for the best.”

“How?” Tony questions. “You hate all this spy stuff.”

She leans back, hands back in her pocket. “I actually kinda love the spy stuff. I just kinda sorta hate S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Then why go back?”

There is a beat before she replies, “You were suffering. I hate watching you hurt.”

Af if he didn’t know that. The woman burnt the books that gave him paper cuts.

He sighs. “We could’ve fixed it… found a way. We would have.”

“That was the whole problem, Tones. Ever since you’ve put on the damn suit we haven’t been ‘we’. It’s been you in the suit, you in the lab, you alone. 

“That’s not—”

She cuts him off even before he has the chance. “And I understand that I can’t be there all the time and I understand that maybe it wasn’t your intention to cut me off, but none of what you’ve done with regards to all this has been a unanimous decision.”

“I—” he takes a second to reassess before he says anything further, because yeah, maybe she isn’t wrong. Cause right now her breath smells of cigarette smoke and she did just decide to sign herself away to an organization she had come to despise. That would all seem like an overreaction if Tony hadn’t been acting alone, especially from Y/n who is, for all intents and purposes, the most chill person he knows. So, yeah, maybe he fucked up a little bit. So he says, “I—I’m sorry.” He licks his lips. “I was a little too focused on not pulling you back into all this that I just ignored that fact that I was pushing you away all together.” Fuck. He takes a breath. “It’s always us against the world.” He knocks on his suit,”This tin-can won’t change that.”

She looks over at him then, “I know.” She smiles a little “We’re good.”

Nodding, he smiles too. “So, what now? You gonna sign these?” He asks, pointing at the papers in front of them.

“Yep,” she replies, popping the ‘p’ at the end. 

“You think Fury will back out of helping me if you don’t?”

“No, no I don’t,” she answers. “But I’ll sign it anyway.”

“Why?”

“I need the access to the intel that they have.”

Tony has to laugh at that, “Oh yeah, you need them to gather intel. It’s not like you have a whole secret network of informants around the world or anything”

She rolls her eyes with a fond smile. “Yeah well, it’s more than that, okay? There’s something going on at S.H.I.E.L.D. Fury’s planning something.”

“What?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I need this,” she pulls the papers towards her. Pulling out a pen, she signs them. “I gotta be on the inside to figure it out.”

Reaf the next part here. Find the series masterlist here. Find the Static Verse Masterlist here. Read The Avengers (ft. Static) here.

tag list : @aryksworld @freeflyingphoenix @arikarapli @just-anotherstan @justab-eautifulmess @ceo-of-daichi @roxannejblack @liketearsintherainn @paintballkid711 @starkleila @heyitsmereading @fairlygothparents @euphoria-svt @sidepartskinnyjeans @mini-kunoichi @third-broparcelicito @siwiecola @haleybutnotthecomet @mvaldez7821 @rockybutmakeitlame @romanoffswoman @ashpeace888 @hopeofwinter @percabethfangirl987

hit me up if you wanna be added to the tag list.

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

I think I might have to message my friend and have a genuine conversation with him about how he's falling into extreme left antisemitic ideals. he acts SO supportive to my face and then in public and online he posts things that are plain misinformation with antisemitic undertones. id really, really, really wanna keep being his friend i just dont know how long I can continue when he acts like this. what the fuck are you supposed to do when someone is nice to your face yet the views they express publicly go against that? what side do you believe? even if the side he shows in private is what he truly believes, he's still saying antisemitic things in public and supporting those ideals.

I want to believe that he's just misinformed. don't get me wrong, he 100% is, I just dont think that's it. I feel like he's just trapped in that social justice cycle where he believes he HAS to talk about things as quickly as possible or else something bad will happen. and I want to pull him out of there with every fiber of my being I just dont know if I can without destroying myself in the process. I love him he's my best friend and we've been so close for years and still none of that changes the simple fact that I am jewish. and I feel scared associating with people going down this slope. I know for a fact he wouldn't hurt me in any way RIGHT NOW, but what about a month from now? 6 months? a year?

I can't stay silent because thats not who I am. so I've gotta talk to him about it soon. tomorrow I was gonna send him his very late birthday gift and food for him and maybe I still will. if I do then that shows that I at least have a little faith this conversation won't ruin one of my closest friendships. and even if it does end, I still love him and I want him to have those things. I wish this weren't so hard and I wish it didn't hurt so much I have such a tiny circle of people it would actually physically hurt to leave and he's one of them.

he's friends with all my other goyische friends too and oh g-d I won't even know what to tell them if it ends badly. will their trust in me dissipate? will they begin to see me as a dirty jew who ruins friendships over problems they see as minor? will they tell me to just suck it up and deal with different opinions? im the only jewish person in that friend group so I've got no one else who understands this specific pain.

I wanna talk to my mother about this. she's not awake right now but she'd understand. she never really got when I talked about experiencing other forms of bigotry just antisemitism because she's been through that too. I know i can handle the actual confrontation myself i just kinda wanna cry to my mother about it.

[monsieuroverlord]

NYX #1 Thoughts:

It was alright, very Kamala/Ms. Marvel and Sophie-focused. It was a decent set up of the premise, and I'll keep an eye on it.

Spoilers:

The Krakoan is Julian Keller/Hellion as everyone called it. Just in case anyone missed the leaks on Twitter.

Him and the rest of Cuckoos are apparently working with Empath, and the current implication is that he may be amping up and/or twisting their post-Krakoa emotions.

Anole, we didn't see much of, other than he's a bartender now.

Not only is David teaching, but he's also a tenure-track professor.

As someone who works for an American university, I'd be so curious to see how that happened. I mean, at least for the department I work for (very research-heavy stem field), its a LOT to negotiate tenure-track, even with years of experience and a Ph.D. Its like a 3-4 day marathon of presentations, wining-and-dining, meetings after meetings, tours, and a red-eye flight back home. You basically gotta meet everyone in our department and not only show that you know what you're talking about, but also that you won't be an asshole to the established professors (I know this, because I'm the one assisting in organizing everything and making sure the right faculty shows up on time to give a lab tour to the applicant, lol)

I think in some areas, you can get away with an M.S. degree for tenure, but in most cases, its Ph.D.

And that doesn't even mean you are guaranteed to get tenure. There's a whole other review process for that.

Anyway, Sophie is right to call it out here. It does kinda feel like a hand-out. I wonder if that will come into play later?

I'd like to see David's point of view first, though. Maybe there's a secret plot where some of the faculty are evil and its an anti-mutant trap to lure him into a false sense of security. But he's too smart for that and plays them. I don't know.

Or maybe he got his P.h.D. That'd be dope.

I don't trust David's new boyfriend. He hasn't said much yet, but I don't trust him.

This issue is heavily focused on Kamala's point of view, and strongly features Sophie as well. It makes sense, as Kamala is the "newer mutant" in a sense, and serves well to introduce the reader to the setting and potentional storylines to follow.

Sophie and Kamala also have a budding friendship, and I think it's very cute.

I think the next issue at least is supposed to shift to Laura's point of view.

We also don't see too much of Laura, and she didn't appear to be in the college class? Maybe she joins later, or is a guest speaker, I don't know. OR maybe she's going undercover?!?!

We did get this pretty image on the opening page:

Laura only runs into Kamala while she's investigating a mutant terrorist attack.

I love her new look so much. It's very fashionable and actually makes her look distinct from Logan while she's still clearly a Wolverine. Props to the designer.

And now Marvel needs to free Akihiro from Hellverine psuedo-death-ressurection and give him a unique outfit and/or codename too. Thank you.

Laura really only says this though:

I don't know how I feel about her characterization here. I mean, its not the worst thing, but it lacks context for me.

I mean, what is Laura doing? Where is Gabby? Is Akihiro still dead and she's surly with grief? (because Hellverine hasn't finished yet and we don't know how that will end) Does she feel like she has to pick up the pieces and play hero because Logan fucked off to the Canadian Wilderness again?

I have many questions about my girl and her general well-being.

In general, I'm currently on the fence about her characterization. It could go either way.

I suppose we'll have to wait until next issue ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In summary, it was a decent set-up. I read the X-Men Monday interview, so there was nothing that surprised me. Art is very good.

Also, this is me being a grumpy old bastard, but I hate the QR code pages they're doing now. Just print the damn page. I tried the scanner on both my phone and tablet, and it kept redirecting me to a broken link and I get a "500 Internal Error" message. I have no idea what that page is about. I personally don't like this concept of secret QR code pages and is irritating.

For digital reading, its more okay, but I also buy physical copies. I don't want to have to whip out my phone and/or tablet just for a gimmick to get the full issue. And who knows if the website eventually goes defunt years from now and then the QR codes are rendered useless. Then what?

[castlebyersafterdark]

ok random thought. does anyone worry that we might get byler and a byler kiss or two and it might end up being… weird? weird in that we’ve watched these two actors grow up since being kids and yea we have shipped their characters but like actually seeing these grown now actors kissing after all these years after literally watching them growing up together might be different??? like awk or strange for some of us since most actors on shows we don’t grow up with them? idk if I am explaining it right lol. And like realistically I know finn and noah are good actors who have good chemistry and the show won’t let us down with the direction etc, but sometimes I am like… yea f/n have great chemistry and have been super cute over the years but it’s like there’s a block in my brain about how I might process them actually kissing as mike/will in the show? like i’m worried i might wait and be excited for byler to happen and then it happens and they kiss and I should be happy but instead im like….. oh. cause it feels weird to me or like what if god forbid the chemistry doesn’t lend itself to a good romantic kiss onscreen!!! I feel like I am overthinking lol but … does this make any sense lol

Have to be honest, I don’t really have this doubt! I fully believe Finn and Noah will deliver. I think the chemistry is so there, I think they want to do this, do this right. Here's one vision: imagine they're filming it, they've only blocked it so far in rehearsal, the first kiss is to really be the first kiss just to keep big moments for authentic filming. The first attempt is odd, they're kind of laughing a little as they go for it, angle was weird. Both end up just kinda laughing against each other's mouth before one pulls back fast. Tries to reset. Be serious. Then it happens again. After a few failed takes one of them asks to pause for a moment and they step away, a chat between the two actors. The closeness these two have from all these years, imagine one of them just talking soft like "Hey, hey. Slow down with me. We can do this." Finn really becomes Mike, with his gentle reassurances. Noah going serious, calm, looking up at him while he nods his head. They do another take. This is the one, or at least the first of the round of really good, authentic takes of the kiss. They flip a switch and they embody the characters. That initial take is the one the filmmakers go with, but they still do a few more. Just in case. Just one more. And one more. 😉

I don't see either of them complaining and saying "this is too weird" like the HP actors who probably took one awkward take and then said please just use it so we don't have to do that again haha. Maybe we do project other reasons onto F/N but it's not all that. They have actual chemistry on the show. We've seen it. So we'll be able to witness a kiss with actual chemistry as well. I very much trust them.

And I'm very firmly in the camp that I don't really put much personal stock in the "we watched them grow up" mindset as a detractors to make it weird. Because that's just it, they grew up. We're at a different place now. I don't look at every adult and think of them immediately as a kid, even if I'm familiar with them also younger. Irl and celebs. Just not how I view things because it's all a journey but watching the journey, here we are. I just don't think its fair to not afford the actors and the characters the full extend of the journey and life to say they'll always be those little kids we met in season one. Negates the story, the growth, the beauty of observing a fulfilled life, what they've worked towards. Its really nice we've gotten to observe and experience this with them.

[ratcandy]

we need fluffy Sozomura hcs

NOW

/lh

ACK I need to wrench my brain off the moth for a second to do this properly OK!!!!

Well first of all I view any relationship between Sozonius and Shamura to be strictly platonic so jot that down, BUT ... oh dear you asked for fluffy hcs oh man. That is not my strong suit

(more under the keep reading; I kinda started talking a lot lmao)

Well, there was a thing I was writing a while back that I never ended up finishing, might return to it at some point.... but it gave me the idea that Shamura and Sozonius are not too fond of the busy cultlife. The former due to migraines and general disinterest in most of the cultists, and the latter due to. Uhh. Currently Processing the Horrors

So what they end up doing is sneaking off in the early morning, while the sky is still dark, to hang out just outside the edges of the cult grounds in the forested area and enjoy the silence out there . Shamura will be spinning their webs while Sozonius will be writing, not saying anything to each other, just enjoying the quiet n each other's company

Frequently Shamura will zone out and forget where they are or what they're doing, and Sozonius will just Gently and Patiently remind them. He has had to introduce himself multiple times to Shamura but that is Okay, he does not mind, and they always remember eventually

and Due to Shamura being Like That, they've also given Sozonius multiple ominous nicknames that are vaguely tied to his life while he was shroomed, even if they weren't personally around to see that side of him. These nicknames are stuff like "reborn of decay and rot" and Sozonius just has to sit there and be like Yeah that's a thing you call me

(Personally I can't see him being comfortable with being referred to as Sozo again, so even if the nicknames are . Perturbing, and kinda just remind him of it regardless... at least it's not Sozo)

Man I'm having a difficult time thinking. Their relationship isn't built on a lot of happiness, so it's hard to tie too much fluff to it shdgkjh. They're just existing for each other. Just someone for the other to lean on in confide in, even if one will forget the exchange happened the moment the other's out of sight

They are each other's Small Inkling of Comfort. In that they understand each other in ways no one else will, but discussing such things are Not Easy. Lots of soothing each other when going through the roughest moments (either of them Remembering to any extent what they've done) and it's all very... quiet. They are a Quiet duo. And given how the cult is very much not a quiet place, they will take Quiet wherever they can

Hrmm. I can't see either of them as very touchy-feely, but Hey maybe they change each other's bandages now and again. Sozonius won't need as many bandage changes as Shamura does but yknow... It's likely Shamura doesn't trust many others to do it for them, since they have no idea who anyone else in the cult even is

UM I've talked a lot and most of these are not fluffy or are fluff that leads into angst. I am sorry dhKGJH My wheelhouse is angst and both of these characters are walking tragedies so I am... leaning a little harder into that than I probably should lmao

Hope that !!! Was something either way, though!!

[matrixxsystem]

Terrapin Soup Part 6 (2/2)

"Leo.." Usagi looked around, a bit unsure, "Id this what you meant when you mentioned your portals being a bit.. Unstable?" "Hm? Oh, no, I did this one on purpose. I uhm.. I thought it'd be nice to sit up here with you, maybe.. Watch the sun set? Since it's like the one thing the hidden city doesn't have." Usagi smiled seeing Leo try to hide his blushing, he'd gotten pretty fond of Leo in the short time they actually knew each other.. "I've never seen the sunset from a view like this.. How kind of you." He carefully walked closer to the edge of the building, waiting for Leo to join him before sitting down. "I wanted to give my brothers a bit more time to get the kitchen together since I'm sure it's a mess by now." They both laughed at that, knowing full how it was more then likely true. Leo glanced over, trying to play it cool as he reached his hand over taking Usagi's into his. "It's been a while since I did this, but it's a lot nicer sharing it with someone. I mean, I'm not really a big nature and 'look at the stars' kinda guy but I thought you'd probably like it so.." "I think it looks amazing, it's not often I'm able to do something like this. Thank you for sharing this with me Leo." "..C-Can I share something else with you?" "Yes, anything Leo." "You.. You have to close your eyes first though.. Okay?"  Usagi nodded and closed his eyes as Leo requested, giving his hand a little squeeze and their fingers interlocked. Despite being on the edge of a building that stood over one thousand feet tall, Usagi had no trouble trusting him. Leo had been overthinking it earlier, that he'd be far too shy to return Usagi's gesture later tonight when he was on his way home, he figured it'd be easier to do it here while they had privacy. And April told him a few times to "put his big boy shell on and make the first move for once" so there was that too. He took a deep breath leaned in, his free hand coming up to gently cup Usagi's face to hold it in place. Closing his own eyes like an idiot as he killed the distance between them till they met in a kiss, though he pulled back pretty quick after, in disbelief that he actually just did that.  Usagi's expression didn't shift as much as Leos would've if he'd been on that end, but when he opened his eyes again Leo felt his heart skip a beat, fuck his eyes were pretty.. He gave Leo's hand another squeeze, silent for a moment probably processing. "I like when you share things with me." He said after a moment. Oh frick he was cute.. And his smile and those big eyes and soft fur and his hand fits in mine so well and... I wanna kiss him again.. I really wanna kiss him again- "I-I like sharing things with you.. Uh- We should.. I'm sure the foods done by now so we should.." Usagi nodded and waited for Leo to let go of his hand before he stood up, watching from a few feet back as Leo made another portal, gesturing for Usagi to go ahead. And once they were on the other side Leo proceeded with his partly rehearsed tour of the lair, only going off script to introduce him to April and Splinter. It all seemed to go really well, even when Splinter tried to act tough or while Mikey barged in to give him another hug. Or when a mini food fight broke out during dinner because Donnie insisted on calling salt 'sodium chloride' when he asked for it to be passed to him. But at the end of the night everyone seemed to have a good time, they asked Usagi about his life, where he grew up, what plans he had if any for the future, what he thought of Leo. Which of course they were all met with vague honestly. Things like;

"I've lived in the hidden city my whole life. My teacher had been tracking a small band of killers, he found them at the end of a trail that ended with the lives of my parents. He took me in seeing I had no one else."

"I'm not sure yet, I assume I'd take over my teachers role, doing the jobs I do now just on a bigger scale."

"I think Leo is.. Unique. He's kind, and brave.. And despite hardships still strives to make people smile and laugh. I'm lucky to have met him the way I did."

Needless to say that last response earned a wide array of coos from the family, no further questions needed of course. Though.. What Raph had said not long after their first meeting still stuck in Mikey's head. He wondered why he felt uncomfortable that time, and if that feeling went away yet or if it was just his older brother instincts to be that way? Usagi seemed pretty genuine, and Leo did too, he'd never seem him more happy and 'at home' maybe ever? But no one else seemed to feel that way, even April who was an older sister to them or Splinter who as a dad should be more guarded then Raph right? It didn't make sense..

Part 7

Part 1

TS Master Post

[askbensolo]

…What? Yeah! Yeah, I’m okay!

Why do you ask? Do I…seem like I’m not okay?

…Huh. Upon re-reading my moving sale post—well, I can see why one might perhaps feel compelled to ask.

(Damn, can’t even sell my furniture without trauma-dumping—must be why I have no purchase offers—)

Um…hey. Thanks for asking. It…really means a lot.

I’ll be okay.

Yeah…I kinda hit my capacity for processing emotions a few weeks ago, when everything went down with me and Fan. Which, was maybe a good thing, because then I was like—“Welp, can’t really get much lower than this; time to tell my mom I’ve been lying to her, too!”—so, I did, and I knew what to expect, and I knew what would happen, and I knew what I’d have to do next if I did.

So…now I’ve just been focused on doing all of that. Submit my resignation letter—check. Get rid of my extra stuff—on it. Pack all the other stuff—doing it. Set a move date—done. Find a new roommate for Poe—yep. Figure out what to say to my uncle when we see each other again—still in my to-dos. Brush off my resume and start looking for jobs on Hosnian Prime—dreading it, but I’ve done this kinda thing before.

Of course, Mom offered me a position as one of her office staff—which, while very generous of her, is like, the worst thing I can possibly imagine, for all of the following reasons, and probably more:

Everyone will think I’m a nepo hire and not take me seriously.

Mom won’t be able to focus on her work because she’ll always be worried about me at the office. You know how they say not to bring your work home? Well, it goes the other way, too.

I do not trust my mother to not treat me like Her Son at work. I don’t want her cutting me slack or giving me special treatment or anything—I wanna do my job and do it well and know that I stand on my own merit, ya know?

I’ve had enough of office politics working for The ChommSec Daily. So, I can’t even begin to imagine the office politics involved in working for a political office.

I WOULD BE WITH MY MOM LIKE. 24/7. AAAUUGGHRHHGGH

But! We’re gonna stay positive about this! Working for my mom is my last last last last last resort. I’m gonna find a job! I’m gonna find a job. Happy thoughts, Ben, happy thoughts…

As for Snoke?

That bastard did exactly what I thought he’d do.

Once I told my mom about Somehow: Snoke Returned, the ol’ kriffer disappeared. Went “Bye, Felucia!” and I haven’t heard from him since.

And I’ve said so to my mom. But…since I finally confessed that I’ve spent the last several months lying to her about whether or not I’ve had contact with him…well…she’s not too eager to believe me.

Anyway. Just gotta stay focused on my move/getting a new job/adjusting to being single again/living with my family again/being a good son and keeping my mom happy/fostering good vibes with my uncle despite our different views and awkward recent history/evaluating how to not mess up my life this bad in the future/figuring out whether I’d ever try dating again or if Fan was it for me/weathering the winter season and my birthday and Life Day which should all be things I’m looking forward to but instead they just make me feel sad/holding onto the few little things in life that bring me joy (hey, my novel draft’s got over 50,000 words on it now, by the way!).

Logic and execution only. Process emotions later. I’m gonna get through this. I’m gonna get through this. Just gotta hang on. Just gotta hang on…

…One thing I’ll say?

Kinda glad I’m not lying my face off to everyone anymore.

[robocop1906]

We are now living in a time where the village idiot is looked upon as the savior of our country. He's going to save the squirrels from the Liberal Animal Cops who will kick your door down to gain entry in order to assasinate your pet squirrel! Never mind that he has a problem with technical difficulties when it comes to a microphone and has to mime in a fellacious manner. His millions of followers think he's just a regular guy and it's alright to make fun of disabled people and mention to them that it would be Ok if bullets hit the Fake News instead of him. We are now in an alternate universe of thinking. All of this isn't making America Great. It's making America open to Russian Invasion.

#1. Is this a question or just your opinion?

#2. Unfortunately I also agree..we do seem to be living in a time where village idiots have much to large a platform. I believe I may differ as to we class a the village idots.

#3. The squirrel issue is just an illustration of a much larger problem. A State government that has issues with a squirrel kept as a pet( I do agree the guy should have gone through proper established regulatory channels to keep the animals) but not millions of illegal aliens committing crimes within its boundaries is my problem and if they overreact to a squirrel what's next???

#4. He who? Are your referencing President Trump?

- if so

a. I agree the imitation of the reporter was I'm very bad taste; he shouldn't have done that.

b. I would agree- I would rather a bullet hit anyone other than me or anyone I cared about...kinda feel that's a gimme there.

c. I am not familiar with the microphone reference so I can't comment on that one, sorry.

#5. I agree again; we are in an alternative universe of thinking. Again we may differ on the thought process. But I see things that used to commonly be looked down upon openly embraced, long standing values cast aside, love of country scorned, value of life disregard and yes , in my belief system, evil embraced as godliness...oh and tearing down statues is going to make whose life better????

#6. I fail to see how any of this would make America more vulnerable to invasion by a foreign country..... other than from my views where beta males and keyboard warriors who lack the internal fortitude and YES in some cases the actual BALLS...cause you may have heard it's almost stylish these days to have them cut off and sewn on your chest as tits.... where was I ..oh yeah- they lack the BALLS to stand up for their country, community, family and faith to risk their own lives. Maybe if we trusted adherence to some of our founding principles we could become better. Oh, and before some snippy latte drinking retard chides in saying something about racism and slavery were founding principles-- not everything from our history is/was prefect-- but if we tear down those trace reminders, fail to teach it , fail to be able to have civil discussions about them and by all means-- Learn from it so as to never repeat them -- we will be doomed to .

But that's just my old cynical Gene-X reading into what may have been a poorly formed question. And while I may agree Trump, if that is who you are referring to, since I don't think Biden even knows what a squirrel is these days and I believe Waltz would probably shit himself if he saw.one if real life, isn't a perfect man I do believe he actually loves this country, wants the best for it and is the best choice of what we have been given to choose from.

[passthroughtime]

coming to your ask box to tell you that what you said about kuwana being protective of yagami is real and true actually. if kuwana weren't so busy trying to keep himself safe, he'd be doing more to try and keep yagami out of this (though he also desperately wants to be with him more). kuwana knows that yagami can handle a few scratches (and an explosion apparently, lmao) but he would take it very personally if anything ever happened to yagami ....i think. perhaps we're having shared delusions

thank you jichan, you're still the only one ever

yeah. though, he knew if he just went and disappeared without letting yagami know where he's going, it would kinda slow his process of getting into shit and endangering himself, even if for a bit. if kuwana actively and purposely involved him into everything, yagami would be in much more trouble i think. killing him was always an afterthought for RK, but if he'd be involved with kuwana more, well... it just paints a target on his back. and yagami wouldn't try to hide. he has ties to other people, he has something to lose.

so pushing yagami away and out of this all was a bit "two birds with one stone" kind of situation

though he also desperately wants to be with him more

yeah lol, i just realized that when kuwana gives him the pendant so he'd help ehara, he says that yagami is the only one he can trust with it, and like, really? you have lots of accomplices whose actions you can literally control, jeez, man xD

and of course kuwana suspected (or anticipated) that yagami would use this against ehara, so there's that also. but. his motivations are a mess, so we can be a little delusional about this as well i think

and an explosion apparently, lmao

explosion is nothing compared to all injuries yagami suffered in the end of JE, kuwana figured, he can survive a little explosion <3 it'd be good for him <3

but he would take it very personally if anything ever happened to yagami

no no, you're right. i mean, he does beat himself up over sawa, as well as mitsuru. he couldn't not feel responsible if this case would lead to yagami's demise as well. if anything, i can't say that kuwana doesn't care about other people. he even cares about his students even knowing that they despise him (i can't stop thinking about the fact that he agreed to meet with yagami so they'd release mamiya... it's not like he was afraid she'd spill everything, i mean, he tells yagami about a lot of things himself)

or maybe i really want to think that kuwana is a better person than he actually is. idk.

tbh i doubt my characterization of them a lot, hence all these disclaimers lol. and i really want to know other's opinions and why i can be wrong in how i view them? i mean, we are a small community. i can see people disagreeing with me, though in silence. but i want to discuss this, because i strive to see all sides of things, and i think it's fun to take their relationship apart again and again

i re-watch quite, uh. let's say, often the cutscenes featuring the two of them, and sometimes the moments where there's only mentions of them. i've started to write an "analysis" of each scene and their (presumed) reactions to their interactions, because it really does make things clearer in my head. i'm replaying the game rn, trying to see anything beyond my insanity lmao, but it's still just one view on things, you know? i really want to have a discussion and see where i can be wrong. and just... it'd be fun to listen other people talking about my favourite characters.

(is this approach insane? of course! but i'm having fun at the very least, and if i can have fun two years after i've finished LJ for the first time, well, i'll take it.)

when i say that i think about them a lot, i really mean it lol. (that's not my first rodeo, so business as usual for me.) but even if i strive to open-minded, and even if i re-visit canon again and again, it's hard to not be biased about lots of things.

and, yeah, i'm really glad to hear that you agree with me on this hc. but even if you, or anyone else, didn't, i'd want to hear all about it

[noyasaur]

hello!! i hope your having a great day!! i love your acc so much its so cute and helpful!

i have a question rq:

What do you think the best method for shifting for me would be? i have adhd and its hard to concentrate alot and i usually fall asleep during methods and lose track of time. its also so hard to visualize

do you have any method recommendations?

also, i tried the “raven method” one time and my body kinda twitched alot. is that a symptom? my body hasnt done that before that i know of

have a good day!!

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

hellooo anon!! i hope you're having a lovely day as well and thank you so much for your sweet words 🥰 i appreciate it so much!

now, i just want to preface that i am not an expert at this stuff by any means, so please just take this with a grain of salt and i will try to help the best i can 🙏

🪐 METHOD RECOMMENDATIONS:

first of all, i'm gonna break it down (mainly for my personal purposes so i feel like i'm being organised with it lmao) but from what you said you find it difficult to concentrate due to having adhd, and you often fall asleep during methods and lose track of time. you also have difficulties with visualisation.

i have a few recommendations for this (because honestly, this is something i can totally relate to so i completely understand 😭)

for some general recommendations, since you notice that you tend to fall asleep often during methods, maybe you could try a sleep method? sleep methods are mostly the same as awake methods except you just fall asleep during or at the end of your method, with the intention to wake up in your desired reality.

since you also find it difficult to concentrate and visualise, maybe using the intention method would work better. the intention method is simply just you setting the intention to shift, then letting go and trusting the process. you could use this as an asleep method and set the intention to wake up in your desired reality, completely trusting yourself and letting go, then you wake up in your desired reality!

however, i believe one of the most important things about using just intention, is having a strong belief in your abilities to shift and confidence in yourself. decide that you WILL shift instead of just 'attempting' or 'trying' or thinking you MIGHT shift. don't view shifting to your desired reality as a possibility, but rather something that you are going to do and something that is going to be your reality (tbh this advice goes well with all methods and shifting 'attempts').

another thing you could look into is the law of assumption and use it for shifting! the law of assumption is a common manifestation technique, but also a law of life regardless of how it's used. the law states that your assumptions and internal states create your reality. therefore, anything that you assume and decide to be true, will reflect in your 3D physical reality. it's all about changing your internal states, assumptions and dominant thoughts to change your reality, as reality reflects your internal state.

so for example, if you assume and persist that "you will wake up in your desired reality," and internally assume this to be true, then it's inevitable for your reality to reflect your assumption. you wake up in your desired reality.

i like using the law of assumption because in it's essence, it's very simple! i just assume that something is to be true, imagine it, let go, don't stress (because i already have it in imagination), and boom! it's my reality.

however, again like the intention method, having a good self-concept, and having confidence in yourself and your abilities goes a long way.

either way, i highly recommend looking into the law of assumption and using it within your shifting journey + your usual methods. it's such a gamechanger!

on the other hand, if you're looking for more specific methods, you could check out the 8D method (also known as the ADHD method). i'm not sure if you've heard of it before but i think it could be something that you're looking for. it incorporates the use of 8D audio (or any audio/music you like) and has little to no visualisation required! here are some links to some posts explaining it with some variations of the method:

amino: https://aminoapps.com/c/desiredrealiity/page/blog/adhd-method/ER1q_P42CPuxJMXEG8lDJ8pmlLLbdJGxgrb

reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/shiftingrealities/comments/knbwi6/shifting_method_good_for_adhd/

reddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/ShiftingRealities18/comments/khrpbn/adhd_method/

🪐 BODY TWITCHES AND SHIFTING 'SYMPTOMS'.

so i'm going to be very truthful and i no way do i want to demotivate you but body twitches aren't really a shifting symptom. rather, many 'shifting symptoms' people think are shifting symptoms, are just signs your physical body is falling asleep and relaxing. shifting doesn't really have any physical symptoms since it is not a physical process. for most people, shifting literally feels like nothing. however, please don't let this demotivate you or anything! i'm sure with every step of the way, you're making great progress so keep going! i just wanted to be honest with you :)

anyways, i hope the rest of your day is well and i hope this helped! please don't be afraid to explore further from my recommendations though because there are plenty more methods out there that could be more suited to your liking! these are just my personal recommendations :) or maybe, you could make up your own method to more suited to your liking and strengths as well!

good luck on your shifting journey and happy early new year!

- saturn ♡

[archenemyintellegence]

“Thunder” (8/10/2023)

。

Thunder

。

I was brought to the chilling mountain top to be offered to the divine, to be left alone and die. Is it the ultimate betrayal? I want to something to cover my body from the freezing wind, but the clothes they gave me is not enough to keep me warm, and just enough to cover up the wounds they inflicted on me. I wish that the glimmering of the diamonds on my body can emit heat like the sparkling flames that they resembled, but the glittering shine only makes my drifting consciousness fades away faster from me...

The flickering stars on my body starts expanding, and surrounds my dying pale body. I can see that everything is blending into the white void. It's such a serene view, that probably only the chosen one has the privilege to enjoy. Maybe it is the ultimate blessing from everyone that I loved and trusted. Gracious feelings filled my heart as I recalled how everyone came together to carry me to the top of the mountain. I feel warmth returned to my body, and it's almost enough for the blood to flow through my veins again.

The sudden thunderstorm breaks the serenity. The flashes of electricity puncture my body again and again. I can feel the touch of the god as waves of heat burns through my frozen vessel. The rhythmic flashes of light that turn the sky into blinding whiteness is like a stairway to the heaven. I can feel myself floating, and embraced by the burning warmth from the divine, as the lighting strikes me continuously.

At this moment, the dread of death has been wiped by the vigor I have never felt in my whole life, and I realize that no one really dies, as there is no true end to everything. I am sure that all of this is a blessing, leading me to this spark of inspiration.

When I come back to earth again, I will use all this scorching energy I obtained from this night to burn down the whole village, and the whole mountain, so I can show them the glimpse of heaven that I am witnessing now.

。

If I can write I will be writing stories because I keep telling stories with my drawings but the ambiguity of art is what prevents me from being sent to a mental institution.

Working a full time job force me to spread my drawings process into several days as I have to sacrifice the majority of the day in exchange of a source of some money that I unfortunately don't have. Technically, I can still finish one drawing in a day, but I cannot spend more than 5 hours a day on drawing due to how tired and drained I am from work. I can observe that my newer drawings are not as sophisticated as the old ones and I am not that satisfied about it. So I tried to spend more time on this drawing to prevent the downward spiral. I love drawing but I am not the type to just draw for the sake of drawing. It has to be expressive and meaningful enough so I can still enjoy the drawing after a while. Spreading the process into several days mean that I cannot ride on the rush of motivation to speedrun a drawing in a day. Instead, I have to have a strong enough intention in my head for a drawing so that the passion can last as I work on the drawing for the whole week. It kinda sucks but it's the way to do things for now, until I find a way to get out of this situation.

。

Alt vers.

[illyrian-dreamer]

Tbh the last our girl part kinda made me sad because you can see the reader just trying to forgive them.

I don’t think forgiveness is a weakness but I think taking someone’s purpose and ruining their revenge is just unforgivable.

You’ve trusted somebody and they violated your wishes twice. Is just plain horrendous.

I‘ve read a lot of fan fiction, books and talked to a lot of women who were violated in their privacy, harmed verbally and physically(basically grew up around them and my mother ran from my father twice).

The truth is even when men take, harm or hurt us we are still forgiving and it’s mirrored in our literature.

Wooowwww what a solid, solid point!!!

We absolutely do forgive too easily. Seriously, as a whole species of people, I think that is so so true.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I wrote part 1 of Our Girl when I was at a really tough point in both my social and work life. I had been lied to/deceived, and I used writing as an outlet. When I tell you that part 1 wrote itself I really mean that 😂 cheapest therapy ever. It wasn’t even meant to be a series!

But one of the biggest life lessons I’ve learned this year (and am still very much learning), is not defaulting to forgiveness and honouring my feelings. And if setting up a boundary hurts others in that process, then maybe they should haven’t done the damned thing in the first place 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s hard though, like really really hard.

And I hope that you can recognise me exploring that in this fic too. I’ve foreshadowed forgiveness, or at least a somewhat happy ending, because I think that in an eternal life, and with something like the mating bond, there is so much at play. But I don’t want to get to that without the reader saying no and setting boundaries etc. She’s my mirror haha.

Although, I gotta say, a little devil on my shoulder is telling me to explore a not-so-happy ending… potentially something quite shakespearian 👀

Thank you for sharing your views honey ❤️💕

[pommpuriinn]

Making of TNC: Temptation Pt.1

Bang PD gave Joohyung the full creative control on this album after seeing and hearing some songs she wrote along with instrumentals she’s been working on.

ON CAMERA

“I finally got my own studio. So I’ll show moa how I decorated it.” Joohyung showed all her little figures of anime and Sanrio. “I even have a Baymax collection in this corner.” She pans the camera to the corner. “I really like this room because it has big windows that I can open and close along with the view.” She tried showing the view. “It’s dark so you can’t really see outside, but trust me it’s nice.” Joohyung chuckled.

“I have been working hard on this album with writing and producing. Even the members took part in both writing and producing as well.” Joohyung started playing with her pen. “I have been pulling all nighters because of this album and ‘Black Mamba’ as you can tell by my eye bags.” Joohyung showed the dark circles around her eyes. “I um…”

OFF CAMERA

Joohyung looked at the box of cigarettes with the clear decorative lighter with cute stickers Joohyung brought. Joohyung started smoking due to the stress of the process of making ‘Black Mamba’ on top of all the schedules that TXT were having during it. Smoking wasn’t an everyday thing, it was more like once a while. When the members smelled her they were surprised, but at the same time they couldn’t blame her if everything that was weighing on her shoulders.

ON CAMERA

“I’m trying to handle it well, but it is a bit stressful.” As Joohyung was talking some more her door opened, revealing Taehyun. Joohyung gasped lightly, “Taehyun-ie~” Taehyun walked up to her with open arms, hugging her and making his cute little sound effects. “Noona I’ve missed you.” Joohyung returned his hug. “Mm, me too I feel like I don’t see you guys anymore, but this album is very important to me too.” Joohyung really just wanted to break down because of all her emotions plus not being able to see the members and relax. Like Joohyung does see the members while recording for certain things or during a photo shoot, but after that she immediately has to go back to the building and kinda lock herself in a room to either practice her own album making adjustments to her songs.

“Since I know this album is going to be a hit. Me and the members will treat you to a five star meal.” He laughed, making Joohyung smile. “I’ll remember Taehyun-ie.” They both shared a laugh.

“But before all that I sent over the songs to Bang PD and he said that the title track and the b-side for ‘Devil By The Window’ need more work and that it needs to sound more sexy.” Taehyun sighed, throwing his head back a little. “I thought the first recording was good.” Joohyung nodded. “I thought about that first, but then I listened to it again. I agree with him that it needs more and I think the first recording sounds plain.” Joohyung gave him the lyric sheets. “I re-recorded it like a demo so you guys can follow it.”

Joohyung and Taehyun kept on switching from one song to the other and Joohyung could tell Taehyun was getting frustrated. “How about we leave it here for today. Maybe your voice will sound better another day, don’t overdo it.” Joohyung called Taehyun out of the recording booth.

OFF CAMERA

“It fucking sucks that we all have to record it again.” Joohyung covered her tired face with her hands. “I know, but we have to trust them.” Taehyung threw himself on the couch. “Sometimes I ask myself why I accept these types of projects when I know I have another one to worry about.” Joohyung laughs at herself bitterly. “Because you're the greatest female artist that Hybe has and they’re lucky that you even said yes.” Taehyun hyped you up. “Thank you.” Joohyung smiled looking up at Taehyun. “I’m going to get the next victim.” Taehyun hugged Joohyung before getting Yeonjun.

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ୨୧ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

ON CAMERA

“Noona I’m here~” Yeonjun tackled Joohyung into a hug and started rubbing his face on the top of her head. Eventually Joohyung got Yeonjun into the recording booth. “Sing sexier please.” Joohyung then quickly closed the door and got into her chair. Yeonjun was also having a hard time with these songs. He just wasn’t satisfied with the outcome and neither was Joohyung. “Do it like this.” Joohyung walked to the recording booth and sang the lyrics the way she wanted Yeonjun to do it.

“Oo that sounded really sexy. Is this even allowed?” He laughed while making Joohyung playfully hit his arm. “Do it, cause I’m not leaving until you get it right.” Joohyung leaned against the wall and watched him. After multiple attempts Yeonjun was getting irritated, “hey I think we got a good one in there, but if you're still not happy with it come back another day.” Joohyung patted his head before heading out of the booth.

OFF CAMERA

“Don’t worry too much Taehyun-ie had it rough too.” Joohyung sat back down on her chair while watching Yeonjun run his fingers through his hair. “Oh really?” Joohyung didn’t reply, just hummed. “How are you holding up? I heard you're going to start shooting your MV.” Yeonjun was very concerned about Joohyung. He could tell that she was going through a tough time and she’s been talking less and less. “Oh um…it’s been hard. I’m starting to think I can’t hide it any more.” Joohyung let out a dry laugh. Yeonjun furrowed his eyebrows, almost getting mad at Joohyung for trying to hide her emotions. He got up and hugged Joohyung, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and resting his chin on her head.

He wanted to cry for Joohyung. If she wouldn’t cry he would for her, he wanted Joohyung to know that it was ok to cry during hard times. He hates seeing her like this, all stressed with no sleep and with her little eye bags. “Noona we’re always here okay?”

“I know, thank you.” Joohyung gently rubbed her cheek on his arm.

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ୨୧ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

ON CAMERA

It’s been a couple of days since the last re-recording of the two songs and Joohyung was going to get through the last three members before going back and re-recording her lines. “Ok moa it’s a new day and I think our boys are ready to record, but first-“ Joohyung got out of frame quickly and came back with a Baymax plushie. “I need him today plus he supports my back, like when I hug him I’m not slouching all the way.” Joohyung gave a side view of how she sits while hugging Baymax. “See, I don’t slouch as much.” She laughed at herself.

“Oh! Can you tell that my eye bags have gotten lighter? Yeonjun helped me do a self care day because to be honest I was neglecting a few things as I have been working.” Joohyung rested her chin on Baymax’s little head. “Let’s call Soobin since it’s his turn.” Joohyung started calling Soobin on her phone. “Yes?” He answered. “It’s your turn Soobin-ah~” All you could hear is him sighing in the speaker making Joohyung laugh. “I’m sorry but I have to call you in.” Joohyung smiled. “I’m coming noona.” Joohyung could just hear the defeat in his voice which made her chuckle. It honestly didn’t take long before Soobin showed up with his blonde hair in his eyes. Joohyung lightly gasped, “wow you actually committed.”

“I had to, the company kept on telling me it’ll look nice.” Soobin sat in the chair next to her. “It looks nice though.” Joohyung was now moving his hair out of his eyes. “But it’s for sure dead now.” Both laughed, as they started touching his hair more.

OFF CAMERA

Soobin’s recording was going smoothly and Joohyung actually got to rearrange all of Soobin’s parts in both of the songs. “Finally! I’m done with one member.” Joohyung stretched herself back out on her chair. “Fuck this has been a pain in my ass.” Joohyung said, as Soobin was coming back inside. “I could tell. You just got home like three days ago and immediately passed out on Beomgyu’s bed while me and the members made you food.” Joohyung just recently went back into the dorms because the members have been begging her, especially Beomgyu. All the members were really worried about her, but Beomgyu the most. He almost went up to Bang PD to tell him to get other producers to do the album and let Joohyung rest because of all the tight deadlines she was trying to meet.

“I promise you after this album and everything I’ll try to take a three day vacation, if the album is successful of course.” Joohyung almost got Soobin’s hopes up with her taking time off. Soobin already knew the album was going to be successful because Joohyung's hands were on it. All his members work extremely hard, but as a group they all collectively know Joohyung works even harder. She always has since her trainee years which is why they care for her the most.