#and maybe be the one putting in the effort to try and fix/remove the chip as atonement for HIS crime

[navree]

i was expecting bruce to take absolutely zero accountability for anything he did as zur so i'm choosing to find the silver lining in having him refer to the stupid fear chip thing as "what i did to you" and the way he's taking responsibility for the wrong he did to jason and not worm out and actually try to own it and potentially make amends (even tho i know what they're gearing up for is to have jason absolve him* without any real work involved on bruce's part)

*which isn't necessarily out of character for jason, he's a shockingly and verifiably incredibly forgiving person, considering that he's never publicly disparaged sheila for literally murdering him and still holds affection for willis and catherine in spite of their mistakes to the point where he was deeply upset about willis being killed and out loud said he forgave bruce for not saving him (not that he never blamed him, specifically that he forgave him, which implies both bruce's culpability and jason's own internal work to give him absolution which i wish more people remembered) and in general still has a relationship with half the fuckers in his family in spite of shit they've pulled. i just wish it was actually treated as a character trait, that jason is forgiving and goodhearted to the point where he lets things slide that he shouldn't so long as it only concerns himself and not others (cuz he's fundamentally selfless yes i will die on this hill) and not the writers never acknowledging that he's the fucking victim and that people deserve to be taken to task for stuff they do and that not everything bad that happens to him is his own fucking fault i hate dc.

[rankertopgoogle]

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[ms-demeanor]

Seriously fuck apple hardware and their hinges that break monitor cables and their butterfly keys and their 24-step battery replacement process that involves *removing your goddamned speakers* to replace the battery.

Fuck. That.

Fuck their specialized Apple screwdrivers

And their bullshit expensive replacement parts.

Two weeks ago I added RAM to my new laptop and it took about four minutes.

I just now replaced the fan on my old laptop while I was on a call with a vendor.

Both of those things used the same phillips-head screwdriver that I got in a pack of three for a dollar fifty at daiso. And I didn't have to *use a hairdryer to soften the adhesive on my speakers* to access either of those parts, let alone a part as basic and as likely to fail as a fucking battery. Hell, I opened up my new laptop and found out that there's a spot for me to put in a second SSD with a similarly small amount of effort.

But while I'm here:

Fuck modern cars. Fuck the engine covers with breakable pins that make it a pain in the ass to do anything more than checking the oil. Fuck the use of tablets as an interface for dealing with the car. Fuck proprietary RFID key fobs and fuck tire monitoring systems that'll make you fail a smog check.

Fuck cheaply made clothing that won't last more than a couple dozen wears but is so thin and flimsy that it also can't handle being mended.

Fuck printers that require a subscription for ink every three months even if you aren't out of ink, because they'll say you're out of ink because they disable the cartridges after a certain time no matter how much or how little you've printed.

Fuck printers generally, they're such cheap and horrible pieces of garbage at the consumer level that it's usually less expensive to buy a new printer than it is to replace cartridges, and it's usually cheap to replace the rollers but the printer is such shit that your odds of snapping off some fiddly piece of plastic garbage are about 50/50 even if you do know what you're doing.

Fuck all of this shit. You should be able to fix what you own, and if you can't or don't want to learn how to, you should at least have the option to try without becoming a professional.

I keep seeing that post about wanting packaged delivered slower by happier, safer, better-paid workers and first of all: Fuck yes. But also: I want clunkier, heavier technology that is easier to fix.

If I needed a laptop that could fit into a manila envelope I would get a fucking tablet, what I need is a laptop that has some actual computing power and that I can swap the hard drive on in less than forty minutes.

The cellphone I had five years ago had a smaller screen and a thicker case, but I could replace the battery with my thumb as the only tool, and with some effort (less than it would require now) I could replace the whole screen. I don't need a seven inch screen and four cameras on the back and a thin, lightweight case, the phone that was the size of my palm and half an inch thick was fine and LOOK I know a lot of the components have become smaller; why did we move to slimmer cases instead of keeping the thicker ones that anyone could crack open to swap in a SIM or replace the battery? You could have BIGGER batteries, with longer lifespans if you still had thicker cases and smaller screens and then maybe this piece of shit phone would fit in any single pocket on my clothing instead of hanging halfway out and trying to make a dive onto the ground every time I stand up.

I don't like the attitude of "stuff in the old days used to just WORK" - in some ways it's true, in some ways it isn't. Cars in the old days certainly did NOT just used to work. But it used to be a fuck of a lot easier to get into an engine and *fix it* without having to get an entire collection of vehicle-specific tools and half a computer science degree. Printers have never, in the existence of printers, "just worked" but they didn't stop printing because of a programmed date on a chip in the fucking cartridge.

A lot of hardware from today is fine. SSDs are pretty great, and there are new manufactured hard drives that I know are going to last thirty years, just like the 40MB drive from 1987 that a customer brought into my shop a few years ago.

There are people out there who are making good stuff.

But it's so fucking frustrating the way that it feels like you have to fight to find something that isn't just the absolute shittiest piece of garbage. The amount of stuff out there that is flimsy, likely to fail, and only-user-serviceable-if-the-user-is-already-technically-proficient is really, really upsetting.

[red-doll-face]

I just found your blog and I LOVE IT.

If I might ask: What’s your saddest dbd headcanons (killers or survivors)

Call me crazy, but I must know! ❤️

Ohh this one was a good one but it hurt me so badddd, ahhh. I’m glad to share , I have some bad dbd brain rot lmaooo I didn’t do every character so I hope these are ok 🥺 these are a bit long too

Sad Dead by Daylight Hcs

Claudette Morel:

Claudette is one of the criers. Probably cries while getting mori’d and can't help the tears during the really bad matches. Her pain tolerance isn’t very high, hence the willingness to waste time healing herself if it means she can stop being in so much pain.

Meg Thomas:

Spends time alone thinking about her past life. Her mother is a subject that makes her really frustrated. People mentioning their moms makes her a little standoffish. Wishes she had a chance to say goodbye in some way.

Ace Visconti:

Ace doesn't have much family to even miss him. He wonders if they noticed he’s gone or hasn’t come back. Maybe they think he hit big bucks and left them behind. Ace is stuck really. Even if he were to go back, he’d be dead or working off his debt.

Feng Min:

Gets super mad when she loses, it makes her so angry that she doesn’t control the trials. She blames other people for her losses but actually is very critical of herself. Casts the blame on others so she doesn't have to face her own mistakes.

David King:

All of his perks are about putting his ass on the line for his teammates yet everyone seems to think he’s selfish and a dumb brute. David doesn't know what to do to be more approachable; genuinely wants to be seen as a friend.

Laurie Strode:

Laurie never got the chance to mourn her friends. She thought she won. Finding out she’ll never truly escape Michael or be able to forget him makes her so mad. When she gets Michael in trials she makes sure the glass in her pocket is extra jagged and serrated.

Jane Romero:

Jane only wanted recognition and acknowledgement. Everything she's worked so hard for feels like a waste for her now. She should have spent more time on herself or with her father. Jane feels like she has no purpose anymore besides running and screaming for the enjoyment of the entity.

Yui Kimura:

Yui can’t stand the Clown or the Stealth Killers. Reminds her of bad memories. When she loses against killers like ghostface, she is especially angry.Her fighting spirit can’t help her actually get back at them.

Zarina Kassir:

Spent so much time fighting inequality only to spend the rest of her life where the odds are never in favor of the survivors. Where the oppressed are destined to lose. Each one of the people is subjugated, both killer and survivor and there's nothing she can do to free them.

Cheryl Mason:

She's been through literal hell and back just to end up in a weird recurring nightmare. At least Silent Hill had an escape. She's killed a god and somehow someone her size with a boxcutter can kill her? Huh.

Élodie Rakoto:

Feels guilty over the loss of her parents and feels extremely disillusioned by this realm. It's so much more boring than she thought it would be. All of her searching and traveling was not worth this shithole.

Steve Harrington:

Steve, though 18, is very much still a kid. Steve is naive about certain things and his optimism gets chipped away at a lot. Wasn’t too enthusiastic at having to care or look after Dustin and his friends but misses having people to protect.

Jeff Johannson:

Someone who definitely ends up taking hooks for people and ends up dying. Has a reputation among the killers as a survivor who is easy to leverage during the endgame because he will try for that save.

Kate Denson:

Feels very lucky to even have her guitar. The other survivors didn't get to bring many things with them. Makes her feel a little bad when she Often feels too worn out and exhausted by the trials to play it.

Quentin Smith:

Unfortunately stuck in pseudo-hell with his abuser. Gets really anxious against Freddy. Leans on his fellow survivors. Will sometimes accidentally bring Freddy to others in an attempt to get Freddy the hell away for him.

Evan ‘The Trapper’ Macmillan:

Actually has tried on numerous occasions to remove the metal rods and shrapnel embedded in his skin. It hurts like hell and just when he thinks he’s got it, he loses grip. These attempts never work.

Philip ‘The Wraith’ Ojomo:

When he’s alone, Philip will try and talk to himself. His vocal cords are warped, his voice a scratchy growl and garbled gurgle. He remembers what he used to sound like but he tries talking less and less.

Max ‘The Hillbilly’ Thompson Jr.:

Besides being named after someone who locked him away for most of his life? Max has to rest a lot between trials. The constant movement puts strain on him and causes him dull pain. His back causes him a lot of grief. The Entity is barely merciful.

Michael ‘The Shape’ Myers:

Meant to be forgotten by everyone who ever knew of him and he knows it. Loomis, after deciding that Michael couldn't be ‘fixed’ just hoped that the system would swallow him. If it weren't for the entity, Michael knows he'd either be dead or caught and back with Loomis.

Bubba ‘The Cannibal’ Sawyer:

Used to be one of the nicer killers to go against and might have been sweet to certain survivors who deserved kindness. But the Entity punished him for it. Bubba isn't very nice anymore. Probably a little meaner to avoid being in trouble again.

Amanda ‘The Pig’ Young:

Another one down to give second chances, much like the second chance she saw in John Kramer. Doesn’t do this a lot however, therefore escaping the ire of the Entity. She’s spent a lifetime hurting others emotionally and physically. Now, she’ll spend an eternity.

Rin ‘The Spirit’ Yamaoka:

The pain and anguish is so heavy but time is no cure in a place where time is nonexistent. No happiness to replace her rage. Especially in a place where her anger is a weapon for a greater power. Also has tried to pull the glass out of her skin and press her limbs back together. Can’t stand to see herself in the mirror.

Adiris ‘The Plague’:

Her body is always on the precipice of falling apart. Her skin rots; her flesh aches and feels like it will tear away at any moment. She is immortalized yet so close to death. Her body hurts so much but she has a purpose to serve. (makes me even sadder bc jannneeeee my mainnnnn😔)

Kazan ‘The Oni’ Yamaoka:

Misses his son. Never got to see him grow up, considering he;s already met his descendant. Proud from a distance because that's all he can be. The beginning of something so angry that it passes down his family line.

Caleb ‘The Deathslinger’ Quinn

During his life, was under the control of people who made him work for their gain who used him. The Entity emphasizes the killers as a position of power but Caleb does much of the same here. Works and works. Never for himself.

Pyramid Head ‘The Executioner’:

His existence has always included pain. He’s not quite sure what it’s like without it. He’s made several efforts to take the pyramid off. It pulls painfully at his neck. Makes awful groaning noises and roars.

Ji-Woon ‘The Trickster’ Hak:

Has never been much more than entertainment for other people since he was a child. Never expected to be much more. To the point that now, if he doesn't feel impressive in some way, he feels incomplete. The entity is his way to really indulge his ‘true artistry’.

Yun-Jin Lee:

A bit selfish when it comes to surviving. A few people around the campfire dont like her for that reason. Some of the meaner people will even leave her behind because they remember all of the times Yun-Jin might have done something similar.

Thanks for reading!!! I’m sorry I don’t post often but I have Shit ton of hw and I recently started a new project sooo ya know 💖💖💖

[whumpmatsus]

Can we see Karamatsu and Ichimatsu fight over some chocolate milk. Maybe with little injuries.

at first I was like "oh that's a little silly"

but then I was like... well, fuck, this is EXACTLY the kind of thing these dumdums would do 🤣

-

All things considered, it’s not too often that the Matsuno brothers fight over food when there’s plenty to go around. As long as they all get a fair share, even if it’s a special treat, that’s usually good enough for them.

Notable exceptions include four-packs of anything, given how impossible they are to split evenly, and… chocolate milk, though obviously not for the same reason.

Oh, sure, the local supermarket where Mom shops frequently carries six-packs of single-serve flavored milk, like the kind of packaging one would get with juice boxes to put in kids’ lunches. They almost always have strawberry, banana, coffee, orange… but for whatever reason, a dumbass reason as far as the brothers are concerned, that supermarket doesn’t usually carry chocolate milk.

So, of course, when Mom brings several cases of chocolate milk home, it means war.

There are twenty-four little boxes of it in total, which means they each get four. It’s easy. Or, it should be. As horrible as they all are, when it comes to sharing a treat like this, they want to stick to splitting it up just right so every brother gets as much as he’s supposed to.

The truth is that with something like this, all of them want to savor it. They want to make it last. After all, when it’s gone, it’s gone, and who knows when they might get more?

Unfortunately, given that there’s now only one box left, someone must not have drunk one of theirs. The problem is that both Karamatsu and Ichimatsu are pretty sure the only remaining one is theirs. Considering what a rarity it is, they’re prepared to fight tooth and nail for it.

Which, coincidentally, is exactly what they’re doing right now.

“Villain!” Karamatsu hisses as he brandishes a soup ladle like one might a sword. “I think I would remember if I had taken my last one!”

Ichimatsu mirrors the gesture, but his weapon of choice is a metal spatula. “And I wouldn’t?! Give it up, Shittymatsu! Just because your memory is as sucky as your face, that doesn’t mean you get to steal my last drink!”

The clang of metal hitting metal echoes through the kitchen. “It is not yours! I deliberately saved my last one for today… I was going to drink it right before I went to pachinko so I’d hit it big!!”

“Oh, please! How would that make you hit it big?!”

“It would energize me!! Keep your foul, thieving hands away from my chocolate milk!”

“It’s not yours!” This angry assertion is punctuated with Ichimatsu winding back before swinging the spatula at his older brother’s head. It hits its mark with a slapping sound that would be sickening to anyone outside the family who heard it.

As far as the other Matsunos are concerned, this is just another day in the household. Or another day with the sextuplets, at any rate.

Most of the time Karamatsu is horrified by the thought of hurting any of his brothers. He’s always reluctant to do it, even when they’re hurting him. Today, however, he strikes back with equal fervor to Ichimatsu’s blow. Maybe it’s something about the allure of chocolate milk, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s now got a cut on his temple, dripping blood down the side of his face.

The ladle is just as true as the spatula was, smacking against Ichimatsu’s cheek in a way that’s certain to leave a bruise. As soon as it connects, though, a more pressing issue presents itself: Ichimatsu screams, dropping his ‘weapon’ in favor of clutching his cheek.

“FUCK! Oh, my God, my teeth!”

It appears the spell is broken, at least for Karamatsu. He tosses the ladle to the floor and rushes to his brother’s side. Ichimatsu is in a heap on the floor by the time Karamatsu kneels next to him, feeling guilty despite his own injury from Ichimatsu drawing first blood. “Ichimatsu! A-ah, I’m so sorry… let me see…”

Ichimatsu whimpers pitifully and moves his hand away from his jaw so his brother can take a look. “I think I’m bleeding…” He glances up with a mirthless snort. “S-so are you, though.”

“Yes, well… we’ll deal with that later.” He sighs and grabs a sheet of paper towel, carefully pressing it against where the blood in Ichimatsu’s mouth seems to be coming from. “Here, hold that for a minute and I’ll get a real towel so this doesn’t stick to your teeth.”

He’s back in only a few seconds, quickly replacing the paper towel with a damp, cold cloth. Hopefully, that should soak up the blood as well as soothe the pain. “I’m so sorry, again… I got a bit carried away. But that’s no excuse ― a good man shouldn’t be causing his little brother pain over something as trivial as a drink. Please forgive me… how bad is it? Do I need to drive you to the hospital?”

Ichimatsu shakes his head and eagerly holds the cloth against his mouth. “Ow… no… don’t think anything’s chipped or broken… just hurts.” He looks up again, and a wave of self-consciousness flashes over his face. “… ‘m sorry, too. I threw the first punch. You should fix your face.”

Karamatsu almost chokes himself in an effort not to start laughing. Then he reaches up to touch the cut and remembers that, well… he should fix his face. He’s bleeding, too. “Ah… right, yes. Here, let me… help you to the couch first, so you can relax. I’ll fix this and then come check on you.”

He helps his younger brother up to his feet so they can head into the other room. Surprisingly, Ichimatsu doesn’t pull away. He also doesn’t lean much closer; he just lets Karamatsu do whatever without any complaints. “Ichimatsu… you take the last chocolate milk. It might be yours anyway, so… I-I don’t want to fight over it.”

“N… nah, I, um, I think it’s probably yours,” Ichimatsu huffs. “Maybe I’m remembering that I drank my last one yesterday. After I got home from feeding the cats.”

Karamatsu chuckles softly as he deposits Ichimatsu on the couch. “You can have it, though. Please. I really want you to take it. As an apology, because I… I do believe I hit you a fair bit harder than you hit me. So I want to make it up to you.”

Ichimatsu settles down on the couch, tentatively removing the cloth to check how much he’s bleeding. Thankfully it looks like it’s starting to slow down. “Are… you sure?”

“Yes, of course! Anything for my darling fourth brother.” Karamatsu beams, giving a gentle pat to Ichimatsu’s leg. “It’s not worth hurting each other over, and I’m sorry I’ve done so. Let me go clean my cut… then I’ll get some painkillers into both of us. And I’ll bring you that milk ― it should cheer you up!”

“Heh. Okay.” Ichimatsu doubts there’s anything in the world that could truly do that job, but it’s funny to watch Karamatsu try. And maybe he’s just a tiny bit grateful. “Um. Thanks.”

The second eldest offers another smile and a thumbs up before he heads to the bathroom. All things considered, the wound Ichimatsu gave him isn’t too terribly bad. Though it does sting to wash off with soap, it’s not bleeding heavily, so after he gets it cleaned and puts a bandage on it, it feels better.

He’s out of the bathroom in only about five minutes, heading to the kitchen to grab the last chocolate milk. Maybe if Ichimatsu is feeling up to it, they can even share it.

When he walks into the room, Totty is there now, closing the fridge. “Hey, Karamatsu-nii-san! I heard a bunch of noise out here a minute ago… do you know what happened?”

Before Karamatsu can ease his youngest brother’s worries, his eyes are drawn to the box in Totty’s hand as he lifts it to take a drink.

It’s the last box of chocolate milk.

Son of a bitch.

[frizzy-hoot]

Neuroessentialism and mental health

Hi!

Time for a little rant about neuroessentialism.

The aim of this post is to provide the opportunity to be conscious of the things that influence us when it comes the way we think about mental health and to challenge stigma around mental health.

First off, I’m not a doctor and the information here cannot serve as medical advice. Always consult your doctor before changing your medication or treatment approach.

Secondly, a lot of the information I present here is elaborated on and further discussed in an episode of the Psychiatry and psychotherapy podcast called “Free will in psychotherapy and psychiatry Part 3” and while I will link to as many things as I can, you can also find a lot of the source material on the website for the podcast. https://www.psychiatrypodcast.com/psychiatry-psychotherapy-podcast/2020/7/22/free-will-in-psychiatry-amp-psychotherapy-part-3

So, I see a lot of people talking about mental health on here through a neuroessentialist perspective in memes or text format and I don’t think they’re aware of it so. I’d like to talk a bit about it.

First, I’ll offer a definition of neuroessentialism:

" Neuroessentialism is the view that the definitive way to explain human psychological experience is by reference to the brain and its activity from chemical, biological and neuroscientific perspectives. For instance, if someone is experiencing depression a neuroessentialistic perspective would claim that he or she is experiencing depression because his or her brain is functioning in a certain way.” - Schultz, W. (2018)

I see people talk about, for example, depression in this way often: in memes when people say "I have a literal neurotransmitter deficiency, Karen." or " God forgot to add serotonin when he made me".

Now, why can this be problematic?

Before I get into the issues with this perspective, I will first acknowledge that one of the reasons this view has become so prominent lately is because it aims to reduce stigma around mental health issues.

In the podcast episode mentioned above they point out that “Efforts to reduce stigma should be praised, but they should also be critically analyzed to determine if they meet their goal.”

And that’s the thing neuroessentialism, while aiming to reduce stigma and shame it only does so short term and ends up contributing to stigmatizing attitudes about mental health.

I want to say that it's great to see people fight back when it comes to stigma around mental health. That's what I see people do in these memes. But the effects of neuroessentialist perspectives end up othering people; making them inherently “bad”, “defect” or “helpless”.

Here the deterministic aspect of neuroessentialism comes up - it tells us that there’s something wrong with our brain that we can’t change. It alienates people because it chips away at their and our belief in their ability to change. If you believe that someone's mental issues are rooted exclusively in brain biology, you're less likely to believe that they can control their behavior and so it is less worth the effort of getting them better. This brings about more stigma.

Another thing that’s important to talk about is how neuroessentialism is an extremely simplistic perspective on mental health. And that’s also one of the reasons it has become so big- because it offers a simple explanation to very complicated illnesses.

Here, I want to add a quote by Psychiatrist and psychotherapist Dr. David Puder:

“There are prominent theories out there that we know just aren’t true anymore and that get propagated because they are simplistic ways of explaining things; for example, depression is because you have low serotonin in your brain. That’s just not true. It’s a whole lot more complicated than that.

You could probably show 20 or 30 things that are going on in the brain during depression. Inflammation. Like initially I thought ‘oh depression is inflammation!’

Well, it turns out not all depression has inflammation. Maybe, only one third [of patients with depression] have inflammation markers in the brain.”

We have been looking to neuroscience for an explanation when it comes to mental health and been satisfied with the idea of a simple "chemical imbalance" but truth is that there are many more neurotransmitters which significantly affect our brains when we talk about depression – it’s so far from just serotonin.

Another example of how neuroessentialim can oversimplify mental health is with brain scans. So, in the podcast episode mentioned above, Dr. Puder talks about how he was really interested in emotions and especially studying anger and he was looking at all this research on the different areas in the brain involved in anger. After a while, he says, he began to understand that it’s really complex and you can’t just point at one area and say that’s the area that’s involved in the emotion anger. There are several areas involved in just that one emotion and different studies show different things.

The truth is that the manifestation of mental illness in the body is a very new area of research and we haven’t found physical manifestations for most mental illnesses and the important thing to note here is that despite this we still do have ways of treating all of them.

Alright, all this can seem quite removed from us so how does neuroessentialsim affect us?

In the episode the guest star, Mathew Hagele, further discusses the article which provided the definition on neuroessentialism above: “Shultz looked at studies investigating how patients viewed their own prognosis and later the same with professionals.

The study found that biochemical or genetic attribution scores were a significant predictor of longer expected symptoms duration and lower perceived odds of recovery.” (Lebowitz et al., 2013, p. 523).

Now, this means that the more a patient attributes symptoms of their psychopathology to genetic (inherited disorderes) or biochemical (serotonin deficiency for example) factors, the longer they expected to struggle with their disorder and the smaller the belief that they can recover.

If a person doesn’t believe they can be helped or get better they’re a lot less likely to try and a lot more likely to feel scared and hopeless.

The other side of this coin is the effect the neuroessentialist narrative has on clinicians which Matthew Haegel dives into in the next part of the quote:

“Another study shows that clinicians believe psychotherapy to be less effective when shown biological descriptions of mental health pathologies...

They took a couple different disorders that these clinicians were looking at and one group had a biological explanation and the other did not- had a different type of explanation. And [in] the results that were across disorders, the biological explanation yielded significantly less empathy than the psychosocial explanation. They also did some additional analysis and they found that biological explanations yielded less empathy than the psychosocial explanations among both MD’s and non-MD’s…..”( Lebowitz, M. S., & Ahn, W. K. (2014). )

So, in these studies we see that a neuroessentialist perspective lowers empathy for the patient in medical health professionals and people who weren’t medical health professionals.

Okay, so how does this perception of the patient’s illness affect the patient’s treatment?

I’ll start with a quote where Hagele elaborates further:

“…and finally, that clinicians perceive psychotherapy to be significantly less effective when symptoms were explained biologically than psychologically…[ Lebowitz, M. S., & Ahn, W. K. (2014). ]

basically, linking the idea that the diminished importance of psychotherapy among mental health professionals ascribing to the concept of neuroessentialism is doubly harmful when considering the multiple contexts in which psychotherapy matches or outperforms pharmaceutical interventions.”

What Hagele points out here is the way neuroessentialism can lead to a less effective and ethical treatment of mental illness. It makes us approach an issue in one manner only- fix the brain, fix the behavior. But sometimes what can treat he issue in the brain is, working on the behavior. This can be talked about in terms of meds vs. psychotherapy.

So, seeing mental health from a neuroessentialist perspective, completely excludes the effects of psychotherapy. A classic example is CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) in which we have “Cognitive restructuring”: a psychotherapeutic process in which a person learns to recognize maladaptive or distressing thoughts and teaches their brain to consider other perspectives or different thought pattern. This is an example of “work on behaviour to better brain” rather than “working on brain will fix behavior”. According to strict neuroessentialism therapy shouldn’t work as well as it does but there is a really big body of science backing psychotherapeutic intervention and its efficacy compared to psychopharmacological intervention.

I feel I should address the discussion of Meds vs. therapy before I continue, (it is a whole topic worthy of a post on its own) but to be brief, they work best together and if you’re weighing one against the other psychotherapy has more long-term effects and barely any side effects compared to medication. There are other factor affecting what would be the most effective treatment approach that further nuances this discussion.

Now this is all a pretty big picture but how is this seen every day?

Well, its seen in the downplaying of the importance of therapy. Often, I see this as people normalize behavior where they kind of devalue the importance therapy or put off working on their issues in therapy with the excuse that it’s only for “crazy” people or not something worth the effort.

Therapy then increasingly is seen as this unimportant, extra thing rather than, in most cases, the most effective and safe treatment. And the less crucial therapy is considered, the less accessible it’s going to be – in the U.S. it can often be easier to get your insurance company to cover for a doctors visits where the treatment would be for your GP to prescribe you an antidepressant than an inpatient or outpatient treatment with a mental health professional.

Another point I wanna put out there is that that neuroessentialist narrative is incentivized by pharmaceutical companies. Dr. Puder talks about his own experience in the podcast episode and makes sure to stress that practitioners are humans too and will of course be biased towards something if that something writes them a check or pays some of their expenses. In the episode they discuss a way in which we have seen the neuroessentialist narrative progress:

“Second, there is evidence that the significant increase in direct-to consumer (DTC) advertising for antidepressants is related to rising prescription rates (Park & Grow, 2008). Such advertisements portray depression as a biological medical condition that can successfully be treated with medicine (Lacasse & Leo, 2005; Leo & Lacasse, 2008)” (613).

Now, medicine is an important tool in psychiatry and there is a lot of unnecessary stigma around medication for mental health conditions. I am under no circumstances arguing that medication is bad and therapy is the only right way to treat mental illness. That would be an extreme simplification and invalidation of human experiences. I also wanna acknowledge that being able to go to therapy in many places in the world is a matter of privilege. Therapy simply isn’t accessible for everyone and people can choose an “only medication approach” for many valid reasons. And if that’s the only treatment that was accessible to you I’m really proud of you for taking care of yourself and doing what you can.

If your doctor has prescribed you a medication please take it and know that the purpose is to help you and that you are worthy of help and good health care. The situation where I would suggest to be a tad critical is when people come in with disorders and issues that they have dealt with for years and most of their life and they are just prescribed an antidepressant and sent home. That simply isn’t effective and ethical care. In that case it is worth investigating getting access to a mental health practitioner as well as continuing with medicinal treatment.

I could talk about this for hours but the last thing I wanna get across is that this is a societal problem. I don’t suggest we turn away from pharmaceutical intervention which saves thousands of lives and helps people get better, rather that we work to make psychotherapy (which can be and is crucial for long term remission and recovery) more accessible for when it’s appropriate.

When your doctor tells you that this invisible illness is because of your biology most people feel validated and experience less shame. The fact that people feel like they need to have a tracible biological “anomaly” in their brains to be worthy of treatment and care speaks to an invalidation that many feel. But the issue here is that we're taught to invalidate invisible illness in society which in the end makes people delay critical treatment or blocks access to ethical and effective care.

We also have to acknowledge that with the technology we have now we are not able to know whether all mental illness manifests in the brain in a way we can see so hinging our worthiness of help and care on the definition is in the end harmful.

TL;DR

" Neuroessentialism is the view that the definitive way to explain human psychological experience is by reference to the brain and its activity from chemical, biological and neuroscientific perspectives. For instance, if someone is experiencing depression a neuroessentialistic perspective would claim that he or she is experiencing depression because his or her brain is functioning in a certain way.” - Schultz, W. (2018)

Neuroessentilism can validate a patient and bring relief of shame short term but ends up contributing to stigmatizing attitudes and thus doesn’t help reduce stigma overall.

The neuroessentialist narrative can downplay the efficacy and criticalness of psychotherapeutic intervention

Neuroessentialist perspectives foster lower empathy levels for patients in medical providers and non-providers alike.

Neuroessentialist perspectives of a patient significantly increases levels of prognostic pessimism which leads to worse treatment outcomes

Neuroessentialism arose because of a real invalidation people feel around their mental health and it is a societal issue we need to work on

We can combat neuroessentialism and stigma by working to make psychotherapy more accessible and talking about our experiences openly as well as giving each other kindness and empathy.

[timextoxhajima]

HOSTIS, Chapter XVIII: Renuntiatio, Resignation

Previous Chapter (XVII.5: Inevitabilis)

Member: Lee Hyunjae (tbz)

Genre (by chapter): drama, angst, finally some fucking good smut where they aren’t trying to kill each other good GOD these two piss me off so much

Category: Short Novel/Long Series

“tell me you love me, because i know i do, and there’s nothing i can do about it.”

the door swings open like the gates of hell -- maybe heaven -- and for once in your life, you’ve never felt more comforted being greeted by lucifer’s eyes. 

his lids were hooded, and there was a splatter of liquid on his shirt. the odor of alcohol wafts out between his lips and slaps you across the face in the form of a gush of wind.

“why the fuck are you--”

the pure force of your heart shoves you forward; the nerves in your body wrapped your arms around his shoulders and your feet should’ve cramped with the amount of effort you were using to tip-toe.

the sting of whiskey dilutes onto your tongue, the bitter taste of him and the alcohol mixing like drugs on your taste buds. your weight shoves him backwards into the house, and his arms were awkwardly held out by his sides for a few seconds.

but his warmth encapsulates you like a blanket around your waist, and some saltiness shoves its way between your lips where you were joined. 

you weren’t sure whose it was, but you were tasting tears of joy, tears of love, tears of resignation.

resignation.

were they yours?

you pull away and you see the tears streaming down his face despite that cold facade you’ve made friends with in the last three days. the words and thoughts form on your tongue before you could process them, and they startle you so much that it drills tremors down your spine.

“tell me you love me, because i know i do, and there’s nothing i can do about it.”

desperation fills your heart when you search his eyes, hoping that he would understand, hoping that he wouldn’t break out into maniacal laughter, hoping that all the heartache he’s caused you the last three days was as painful as it was for him.

his heart was racing in his chest, the gentle thumping seeping through the pores of your palm and into your blood. his face shows a lack of acknowledgement, and you wait for him to crush the rest of your spirit in his hands.

for a moment, you were scared. 

did he win this war?

but his palms cup your cheeks all too suddenly. 

he shoves his lips between yours so harshly, so tightly, so desperately.

his teeth knocks against yours and one arm wraps itself around your waist like he was holding you from falling off a cliff. a free arm finds the front door and he pushes you back against it as he swings it close.

the sharp snap of thunder rings outside the house, yet it does nothing to you, not while you were in his hold.

the cotton under your hands were strangely alien, because all you wanted to do was to touch him. the material gets crumpled in your grasp, as if he wasn’t already compressing your entire body between the hardness of the wooden door and his warmth.

if your heart was a glass vase with cracks, then this was filling up those gaps with gold. 

“kintsugi” they called it. the japanese art of using gold to fix cracks and imperfections in pottery.

when exactly did your heart become so organic? what was it that incited this change? where was it that fate decided you needed ares, not aphrodite? how did your spirit of ares turn into something so fragile? 

answers were lost in the intimacy that rushed through your arteries, and hyunjae sighs into your mouth, allowing you to taste more of the whiskey he was drinking, supposedly because of you.

the kisses felt like feathers, but having the burn of the whiskey on your tongue tears your insides apart like ripping wings off an angel.

it really does feel like something was speared through your lungs, but his lips on yours felt like heaven-born puzzle pieces.

it felt like two white doves soaring in the sky. it felt like cherry blossoms blooming in spring. 

it felt like you were finally finding comfort in a thunderstorm. 

was he really drinking because of you? or was he--

“i love you.”

lightning brightens the entire house for a split moment, and the following clap of the thunder shakes both you and your already quivering eyes.

“...what?”

the shine in his eyes crushes your already broken soul, and you couldn’t decide if you were more afraid of what he was going to say next, or how you were going to react.

a muscle in his nose twitches, and your trembling hand finds his face where the streaks of tears were still gleaming under the light of his house. eyelashes fluttering shut as he grips your hand on his cheek, nestling his nose and lips into your palm and sucking in a deep breath; it breaks your heart to see him like this.

he must be breaking on the inside, maybe even more than you.

his skin melts into yours and the muscles in the back of your jaw tightens when his slightly swollen eyes look into yours, something in his spirit so broken, and it was all because of you. 

“i don’t care if you’ve done anything unforgivable in your past life for fate to put us in the same place after a decade... all i know is that you asked me to tell you that i love you, and i do.”

those words. 

he remembers every single word.

every word uttered because you wanted to hurt him, because you hated him, because there was nothing in the world that would allow you to tolerate being within in his reach.

yet you were standing here, fingers caressing his tear-streaked face, feeling ache and heartbreak rip through you because he was hurting.

“and now that i’ve said it...” another flash of from mother nature lights up the space while hyunjae presses kisses onto your palm, trailing down your wrist and forearms. “hopefully i heard you right too.”

the sneaky, mischievous smirk somehow finds its way onto his lips and it was a baffling sight to see hyunjae collect himself so quickly.

one moment he was crumbling within your hold, because you said you loved him, drinking because he was ripped at the edges at the thought of you being with eric.

but now, this was the man you recognised.

had you filled in the cracks in his heart with gold? do you now finally see how beautiful he was? or have you been blinded by love, fuelled by hatred... for someone you never thought you’d love?

you were the one who put the cracks and chipped off bits and pieces of him, but you were also the gold that held him together.

zeus would strike you with one of his lightning bolts if you even considered denying that it was the same for you.

the distance hyunjae drew between the two of you in the last week was subconsciously tightening a noose around your neck. without him around to rile you up, to continuously pick and tease at your little wrongdoings, to catch you off guard with kisses felt like death on its own.

but you preferred death if it meant he still planted poisonous, threatening kisses on your lips. you preferred death if he held you close because he knew it made your body yearn for him, even if your consciousness refused to admit it.

you preferred death over losing ares.

you are half of a whole, and you are not whole without him. 

“nothing kills me more than to say his name, but...” there was a pinch of reluctance in his voice, not because he was upset, but because he was competitive. the ares inside you lights up when he leaves your arms on his shoulders and he nose dips into your neck. “i knew eric wasn’t the one for you, he’s too soft for your liking...”

“kitten.”

the laughter that exits your throat felt like a stranger, felt like drinking alcohol for the first time, felt like bliss from drinking poison, if he even was poison. 

“lee hyunjae...” his scent starts to intoxicate your senses, and the soft, feathery kisses on your neck turns you into some sort of a marshmellow, waiting to melt in his warm hold. “when will you ever leave me alone?”

silence befalls the two of you, the minimum space between the two of your faces only offering heavy breaths and lustful eyes amidst love and completion. hyunjae removes his face from your neck and he angles his head into yours, lips already brushing against yours.

“never.”

the cotton of his collar gets gripped so tightly in your hold that it crumples into almost nothing against your touch. 

have you ever felt so right just kissing someone? just having him in your hold? tasting him from your tongue and feeling him in every nerve under the skin that was pressed against his?

hyunjae was smiling into the kiss and it makes you want to tear up as well, but he doesn’t really give you to the time to process his happiness, for he picks you up and wraps your legs around his waist. 

the soft strands on his head get tangled around your fingers, and your eyes were shut so blissfully just from having the feeling of his lips on yours. the lingering venom of the whiskey was no more, because it was replaced with the sweetness that was coming off your tongue and onto his. maybe it was the other way around, but it didn’t matter.

how do you describe the feeling of melting into someone’s existence? 

was it one sided? or was his soul dissolving into yours through the hold he’s got on your rear, where the back of your upper arms were resting on his shoulders, where your lips were connected like they were glued together and could never be torn apart?

the soft cushion of the mattress greets your back and the overwhelming scent of him intoxicates you further. you felt so high and drunk off just kissing him, all you wanted him to do was to roam his hands all over you like he did before.

he had already claimed you, you were just too afraid to see it.

his jaw lines so perfectly along the curves on your fingers when he returns from shutting the door. thunder claps right outside the window, and the flash of lightning seemed to add oil to the fire, his fire, and yours. 

the warmth on his neck pools into your finger pads when he tenderly slots his lips between yours again. 

“finally.”

breathy air hits the skin below your ear, and a soft sigh escapes your lips. 

“you’re finally mine, kitten.”

if there was some kind of world record award you could award hyunjae, it would’ve been his ability to hit you in places with words, but send you into a complete frenzy with his touch. 

“all mine.”

you would’ve hated it had he said it anytime before this, but now, all it did was make you whimper and squirm under his weight. 

the flesh on your neck gets sucked between his teeth, and a harsh gasp pulls a smile across your face.

the blood rushes to the surface of your skin where you know he was just busy remaking all his marks on you where he wanted them to be; probably where you wanted them to be too. 

the warmth emitting from his palms run up the length of your torso like it had been years since he’s touched you, when in reality it’s been only one week.

but you knew how long it felt, because it did feel like he hasn’t touched you in a year. 

the white, plastic buttons on his shirt start to get undone despite your eyes being sealed shut, and he lets you run your hands down his chest. 

the smooth complexion hammers chills throughout your body; a physical reminder that you missed him even if you couldn’t admit it.

the sound of the rain starts to roar outside, the howl of the wind seeping through the gaps of the window by his bedside. 

it was like the heavens were throwing one hell of a party to celebrate the unity of two areses; two areses who have spent most of their lives fighting one another.

his shirt comes off, leaving you to gape and gawk at the veins travelling from his chest into his arms because he had been holding his weight over you. 

impatience immediately replaces your blood when you sit up in an instant, fingers hooking onto his belt hoops as you pull yourself to your knees.

your arms find his bare shoulders and your thighs press against his, despite your knees digging into the cushion of the mattress. he smiles again, and it only evokes an overwhelming sensation of wholeness; completion. 

your waist gets hugged in his embrace and your chest was pressed flat against his, the kiss feeling like it should last for a long time, if not, forever.

the zipper on the back of your top gets tugged on, and he breaks away to gently remove it over your head. the kiss continues like it wasn’t interrupted, and his thumb starts to draw hot circles on your lower spine.

your arms were folded across each other behind his neck, keeping him tightly locked against your lips like you were afraid he was going to run away.

the button around your waist loosens, and the zipper coming undone allows him to slide his palms down your back and under your pants.

the sudden grip on your ass forces you to bite on his lip instinctively, but you hear a low chuckle rumbling in the back of his throat. 

but his hands find your waist again, forgetting about being rough with you, forgetting about possibly hurting you. the marks on your neck didn’t hurt; he knew you were enjoying having your nerves being sucked between his teeth where he left territorial marks.

your fingers find his belt, but your tongue was tasting every inch of his with your eyes shut. 

if ares is fire, then what happens when you put two areses together?

you yank on the belt when it refuses to loosen, and it urges hyunjae to finally pull away from the kiss, leaving you in little huffs despite wanting more.

“oh, no, kitten,” he looks at you with such loving eyes, you wanted to puke. “why are we impatient today?” 

he presses a hard kiss onto you, pushing you backwards into his arms as he slowly lays you down.

“aren’t you?”

he kisses you again, the corners of his lips curling up into a smile and it bares his teeth. 

“i am, kitten,” another kiss. “but this needs to be different, now that you’re mine.”

your eros starts to surface after a very long time, but hyunjae begins to leave light kisses on your shoulder and down between your breasts while he interlocks his fingers with yours.

he doesn’t pin them down, only holding them tightly in his grasp against the mattress, and the meticulous care he was investing into making sure he wasn’t hurting you was astonishing by his standards.

the flesh on your breasts aren’t spared from his slightly animalistic need to warn others that you are no longer available.

the mewls that were spewing out from between your lips must sound like music to him.

he kisses his way down your stomach and to the rim of your undone pants, lifting your hip off the mattress so he could help you out of it. 

butterflies show up in your stomach when he looks at you through his lashes, and you only now notice how needy you were despite him barely making any harsh moves on you. 

this pales in comparison to any other time he’s made your body cry for him, but this time, you were willing. you were more than happy to oblige.

you wanted him because you need him. 

he leaves you in your bra and underwear while he tosses your pants aside, and he pulls off the belt so he could undo his own pants.

you’ve seen it so many times, but every time you see it, it’s like your first time.

there was no point denying it anymore; lucifer was gorgeous, and he was now yours.

the bulge on his crotch looked so painfully inviting, you were embarrassed for a moment. you were already about to roll to your side so you could slam your lips onto his again, but he quickly leans forward after shaking his pants off his ankles.

he does the deed for you, the silence in the kiss making the rain outside louder and more aggressive than he’s ever been. 

the tips of your noses were rubbing against each other as he slowly inches away, eyes frantically darting from left to right across your face as his thumb comes up to caress your cheek.

he looks at you like he was seeing you for the first time in his life, and for a moment, you see the whites in his eyes flicker.

“god, you’re so beautiful.”

oh, my god.

he’s lost his fucking mind.

but so have i.

it breaks your heart to hear those words coming from him, but it also mends it in ways you could no longer understand. 

it doesn’t help you forget about younghoon and what you had with him. it doesn’t help you pretend you didn’t share a flirtatious kiss with eric at a party a few weeks ago.

but it helps you piece the puzzle together, and that he was the puzzle piece you were meant to fit in with. 

“hyunjae,” his face softens even more when he hears his name sing itself like a heavenly tune. 

“i love you.”

the almost unnoticeable strain in his forehead makes you think for a moment that he was hurt, or that your words had shoved a knife into his lungs, but the windows to his soul betray him before he can get his response out.

it feels like an eternity, but he says it for the second time tonight with so much ease, you wonder if this was zeus’ plan all along.

“i love you too.”

this time, your tears run. 

run into puddles on his mattress by your ears and into your hair like the rain droplets collecting along the pavement outside.

mother’s nature round of applause synchronises itself with him shoving his lips between yours all over again, and this time, you could taste the addictive sweetness of lee hyunjae.

your lucifer. your ares. 

when he pulls away, it was excruciatingly painful. it made you feel empty. it made you feel afraid that he was leaving. 

but he only pushes himself downwards and drizzles kisses on your hips and inner thighs when he lifts them up on either sides of his head.

your underwear slides off and he doesn’t hesitate to dip his tongue into your deprived wetness.

the name of the devil who was giving you heaven rolls off your tongue, back arching off the bed and fingers getting tangled in his hair.

it was slow, sensual, careful; he already knew all there was to your body. this was no challenge to him, but it comforts you to know that the most challenging part of all this was finally over.

a finger replaces his tongue after he laps up most of you, but he slides in so easily, all you wished that he pushed in was not his finger.

“hyunjae--” the gulp of air hitches in your throat when his fingers hits a sensitive, strangely easy-to-find spot in you, his tongue pressed flat against your nub. 

“i know, kitten. be a good girl and come for me.”

kitten.

a few more harsh pumps and flicks against your sensitive nub and the thunder masks your hisses and loud groans. every drop of your lust is finished off by him like a vampire drinking blood, and he kisses you immediately after, forcing you to taste yourself on his tongue.

but after he finishes letting you drink yourself, you shove him back upwards and you crawl to where his boxers were tented.

he looks at you with a look of surprise, then it turns into shock and hesitation.

“wait--”

not an option.

his swollen shaft springs out from his boxers when you shove it downwards.

the growl that escapes his throat makes you even wetter, but the way he twitches inside your mouth encourages you. your tongue presses flat against the tip and it earns a sharp hiss from him.

it was his turn for his hands to get tangled in your hair. he was muttering curse words to himself like he was scared you were going to snitch on him, yet the subtle pushing on the back of your head tells you he was enjoying it.

ares and his ego.

“oh... fuck, kitten,” his voice has dropped at least an octave, and the huskiness of it was only making you pool again despite having come once already. 

but hyunjae does not want to finish in your mouth or anywhere else.

“kitten, tell me you’re on pills or something.”

the groans come out so painfully blissful from his lungs, it paints a smile across your face when you pull away with a loud pop. 

“why would i have taken the risk and gotten pregnant with the child of the man i hate?”

mischief flits across his eyes when he smirks.

“‘the man i hate’?” a brow raised, he pushes you back into the bed. “i think you mean ‘hated’.”

you pause, but the truth speaks itself.

“shut up and show me you love me.”

he smiles into your neck and you feel him prodding at your entrance, legs on either sides of his hips and his breath heavy on your lips. 

“that’s my girl.”

the lewd groan comes out so satisfyingly loud and full disappears into his mouth when he simultaneously pushes into you and cushions his lips against yours. 

the air runs between your faces carry the scent of sex and his scent when he pulls away, turning his attention to your neck while he starts rolling his hips against yours.

“i want to hear my name kitten.”

the immeasurable, immense feeling of pleasure washes through you like a tsunami after an earthquake. 

he was alternating between the sweet spot on your neck and your lips, only pulling away every now and then so you could cry out his name in absolute bliss. 

“what a good kitten,” your jaw receives the treatment, and you now realise your nails were leaving bright red marks in his back.

revenge.

his pace picks up and so does his breathing.

this was all too familiar but the biggest difference was that you loved it, and you could not longer deny it.

the change in pitch slaps you back to reality the same time he starts hitting that magic spot inside you. 

“hyunjae-- fuck-- i’m--”

“that’s it, kitten. be a good girl and say my name.”

the command sinks itself like a cure to the tumor in your heart, and you feel it blossom like flowers in spring; the first snowflake that falls in winter on your nose.

the thrusts were harsh, sharp, powerful, and the sound that emits from the both of you simultaneously was close to inhumane. 

tears were collecting in the corners of your eyes as his name continues to billow out the corner of your lips like a broken record. his forehead was pressed into your shoulder and his entire torso shudders violently above you when you feel him release inside you.

the low, heavy pants were drowned out by the heavy rain outside. 

the loud and violent mishaps mother nature was bestowing upon the night felt like a celebration from hell for the two of you. 

hyunjae pulls himself out and huffs, repositioning himself so he was resting his forehead onto yours.

“are you alright?”

the question spreads your cheeks apart with a smile, and you grab his chin to pull him into a kiss.

“i’m more than alright.”

later in the evening, when the two of you are spent from your love-making and coiled so tightly that your breaths have become one, you take a moment to absorb the fact that you were laying in his arms, hugging tightly under the blanket after he bothered to clean you up and gave you clean underwear and a large shirt to throw over.

he has won this competition between the two of you. he shoved his way into your life like it didn’t belong to you, and for possibly the only time in your life, you were grateful to let him win. 

not when he was in so much pain because of you. 

not when you were in pain because he ignored you first. 

“but i’m still getting that promotion first, jackass.”

the whisper from your heart tickles a funny bone in you as you tilt your head to peck his nose.

this is what love is, to break and to be broken, to be full and to be empty, to win and to lose. 

you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

you may have been your ares, but he is your entire underworld. so if you were happy with being with the god of war, then you’ll gladly stay one along with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 19: Rosa

A/N: it took me SO LONG to churn this out. i hope you guys loved 17.5 written by @vxstarlightxv​ and hopefully this chapter didn’t just kill 17 and 17.5 off. 

but as i release this last smut, it means we are coming to an end. HOSTIS’ final chapter will be 20/XX and HOPEFULLY it’ll be done by end of august. it has been a brilliant ride with all of you, and i’ll see you again when HOSTIS is finished. <3

- love, dana

[chemicalmagecraft]

Taiyuu OCT Bonus Round 3

@taiyuu-oct

Character Nicknames: Akai-chan: Naishin-Sunomu Seisho Neki-chan: Tsuneki Aoi Tori-chan: Jamie Aguilero Yuu-chan: Mochizuki Tofu Lacca-sensei: Chikyu Tane Wolfie-sensei: Kuzu Onoma Boron: Nerva Rekka Mulan-sensei: Jailong Chen

x x x

Yukino breathed in the warm summer air as she walked to the beach, then let out a contented sigh. For some reason people tended to think that she would like Winter more due to her ice-based Quirk. Maybe some people with cold Quirks worked like that, but hers was specifically heat absorption. That, plus her residual draconic mutations from her grandfather, made her prefer warm temperatures a lot more than cold. So on a hot summer day like this, she was feeling pretty great even though her swimsuit was exposing a lot more of her skin than she normally liked doing.

"It's funny," she said to the two she was walking with, "I don't really like swimming much, but I love the beach." The sun, the sand, and to be perfectly honest...

"I prefer not to swim as well," Akai-chan told her, still looking ahead and holding the cooler she was carrying for Yukino. She looked really pretty in her sundress. Yukino had been hoping to see her in a swimsuit, but she got why she wouldn't be wearing one if she didn't plan to swim.

"We're going to the beach, this is great!" Neki-chan cheered. He was carrying the other cooler. "And you're making ice cream later!"

"Yup," Yukino grinned, though she was trying to keep away from Neki-chan a bit. Even if he was wearing his Quirk-erasing bracelet, Yukino was wary of her body's only way to cool itself suddenly shutting down on a hot summer day. That'd sour her fun real fast... For her part, Yukino was only carrying the bowls, napkins, and a long tablecloth. To be fair, she was also bringing the means of how the ice cream would be made. Sure, it was literally her body, but she was still the one who would be making the ice cream. "Got stuff to make chocolate and vanilla, plus a bunch of toppings."

"Ohh, that sounds delicious," Neki-chan drooled.

"Thanks, I try my best." In addition to her ice cream supplies, Yukino was also carrying a beach towel for herself. She probably wasn't going to go into the water, yes, but she didn't want to sit down directly on the sand. It was warm, which was nice, but Yukino could do without getting sand in her swimsuit...

They crested the hill they were walking up, giving them a good view of the beach.

"Ohhh, that looks beautiful," Neki-chan said.

"Yeah, it is," Yukino agreed. Even though she didn't swim, she could absolutely appreciate the beauty of the sun glittering off the waves. "Right, let me find somewhere to put my stuff. I'll probably need some help bringing the stuff back, but don't worry about helping me keep track of the stuff while we're here."

"Sounds good," Akai-chan said. "Let's find you a spot."

x x x

"Ahhhh~" Yukino sighed, basking in the sun. Her tail wagged a little, then she decided to check on her coolers. She opened one up a crack, sticking a claw in. It felt good, but just to be safe she drained some of the heat from the air in it and refroze the cold water in the ice bag. She did the same for the other cooler, then grimaced and shook out her hands. She hadn't used her Quirk much, but it was always unpleasant when she used it to cool something that was already a little chilly. Yukino rubbed her hands on her tail, which was really warm from the sun because it was covered in black scales.

Once she warmed her hands up, Yukino decided to play around a bit. She put a hand on the sand, careful not to get any under her claws, and activated Cryomancy. The sand frosted over, though Yukino prevented it from freezing together. She lifted up all the sand that she'd frozen in a large clump. Yukino thought for a bit, then formed the sand into a square of walls with little towers in the corner. Then she started with the detail work. She made a largeish (semifunctional) drawbridge on the side facing her, then carved little lines in the walls in the walls to make it look like bricks. She didn't do any details for the drawbridge, though, because she unfortunately wasn't good enough to make wood grain in a little sand drawbridge. It was starting to warm up a bit, so Yukino lightly touched the top of the wall and cooled it back down. Then she froze a bit more sand, using it to make crenellations for the walls and towers. She hummed, thinking of what else she could add to the castle.

"Heads up!" a voice yelled. Yukino snapped her head up just in time to see a beach ball hurtling at her. She quickly caught it with a single hand. A single... clawed hand...

Crud.

Phweee...

Yukino grimaced as the ball started to deflate from the holes she'd accidentally punctured in it with her claws.

"You okay?" Tori-chan asked, walking up to her. It sounded like they were the one who warned her about the ball. Yuu-chan was trailing behind them. "I hit the ball kinda... far... sorry..." They trailed off toward the end, noticing the deflated ball.

Yukino sheepishly removed the ball from her claws, carefully trying to keep it from getting damaged further. "Sorry about that. Claws..." She held the now totally flat ball out to Tori-chan.

They nodded sadly, taking the ball and brandishing their claws with their other hand. "I get how it is..." They sighed, then shook their head a little and smiled. "It's good, it's good. We should've been more careful with the ball."

Yukino nodded. "Still, if you want I can get you a new one later to replace it."

"Oh, no, don't feel the need to do that!" They smiled. "Thanks, but I'll deal with it. Again, sorry for almost hitting you!" They walked off.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Yuu-chan said.

"It's cool, Yuu-chan," Yukino waved him off.

"Are you building a sand castle?" he asked, pointing to her castle.

"Yeah," she said, then noticed it was starting to get close to "melting" again. She quickly refroze the castle. "Using my Quirk to do it. It's practice as well as fun."

"I could give the towers some sprouts, if you want," he said. "They're not flags, but they might make it look nicer?"

Yukino gave him a smile. "That sounds great, but unfortunately I don't know if they'd do well in the cold sand..."

He shook his head slightly. "I can make them cold resistant. Though... they might die soon if I don't sustain them."

Yukino shrugged. "Don't worry about sustaining them. I could try to ice them over once they start wilting. Probably be good practice for something. Thanks, by the way."

He was wearing his box so she couldn't see his mouth, but Yukino had the feeling he was smiling as he put the sprouts on the towers. "Bye," he muttered, then walked off.

Yukino played with the castle for a bit more.

x x x

Yukino hopped up. "Alrighty!" she said with a clap. Some time had passed, and while the sun was still in the sky she felt that she should get started on her ice cream before it got any later. She noticed that some of her classmates, as well as one or two of the teachers, were looking at her now. "I'm gonna be making ice cream soon!" she announced to the people who were looking at her. "Can one of you make sure everyone knows?"

"I'm on it!" Lacca-sensei shouted, giving her a thumbs-up. "Just save me a bowl of rocky road!"

"I literally don't have that but okay," Yukino muttered as her teacher ran off. She shrugged and poked the tablecloth with a foot, using Cryomancy to float it to her hand. She held one end and tossed the other to the side, using her telekinesis to unfurl it. As she did that, she made a table of ice form underneath where it would fall to, making it super thick so it wouldn't melt easily. The tablecloth fell on the ice table a little askew, but Yukino quickly fixed it with telekinesis. She floated the coolers, bowls, spoons, and napkins onto the table next.

Yukino hummed, pulling out the tubs of chocolate- and vanilla-flavored cream in the first cooler that she'd prepared for today with a bit of effort. She'd tried to make sure there was enough for everyone to have at least some of each. She smiled, then pulled out two ice cream scoops in a plastic bag. Yukino pulled out the first one, then uncovered the chocolate cream and dipped it in. She put her other hand over the cream and activated her Quirk. She stirred the cream with both the scoop and the air above it, chilling both. After a few seconds, the cream froze into chocolate ice cream. "Good," she said as she tested the ice cream with the scoop. It wasn't too thick, but not too thin, either. She repeated that with the other scoop and the vanilla cream.

Once both the tubs were done, she rubbed her hands on her tail to warm them up, then put the first cooler under the table and opened up the second one. Honestly she probably didn't have to bring toppings as well, but she wanted to. Plus she could snack on the leftovers later. She pulled out the chocolate syrup, strawberry syrup, caramel, whipped cream, and jar of cherries first. Then she took out a couple of the bowls and plastic spoons. She had big bags of chocolate chips (dark, milk, and white), peanut butter chips, peanuts, crushed Oreos, bits of edible cookie dough, and sprinkles in the second cooler as well, of which she poured some of each into the bowls. Then she brought out a label for the peanut products, which she'd made sure to keep away from everything else, for Wolfie-sensei because of his allergies.

"There," she said, then cooled the table down a bit just in case. "Done." She looked up to see that most of the class had formed a line in front of the ice cream. Lacca-sensei was, of course, in the front. "Hey, you don't mind if I get first dibs, do you?" Yukino asked the line. "I did just make it."

"Oh, go ahead!" Lacca-sensei nodded vigorously.

Nobody really objected to that, so Yukino shrugged and took a bowl and a plastic spoon. She took a scoop out of each tub of ice cream with her telekinesis, then put some chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, cookie dough, sprinkles, chocolate syrup, caramel, and whipped cream on it. And finally, a cherry on top. She noticed that the people still in line were staring at her ice cream, though Lacca-sensei, Neki-chan, and Boron had started getting their ice cream behind her. "Alright," she said. "I'm probably gonna stay close to the ice cream table so I can keep it and the ice cream from melting. Call me if you need anything. And I know it goes without saying, but please don't litter. There's a trash bag in one of the coolers, the first person to have to throw out their trash can take that out. Bye."

Yukino walked away, eating a spoonful of ice cream as she did so. She was about to sit down on her beach towel again, but then she saw that Akai-chan was sitting nearby. Yukino set up the table a little too close to her beach towel, actually, so she figured she'd go sit down with her.

"You okay if I sit here?" Yukino asked Akai-chan with a grin.

"Ah, Takeda-kun," she said. "I don't mind."

Yukino sat down on Akai-chan's lap, taking another spoonful of her ice cream.

"I... should've guessed you'd do that..." Akai-chan muttered, her face starting to flush slightly.

"Don't worry," Yukino assured her. "I'll get up if you need me to."

"That's... that's fine," she muttered. "I hope you don't mind that I didn't get any ice cream. I have some residual snake mutations that make cold foods uncomfortable for me."

Yukino shrugged, then tickled Akai-chan's back with her tail. She smiled at the cute noise Akai-chan made. "I get how residual mutations are. The cold can be kinda bad for me, too, though luckily it's not quite bad enough that I can't have ice cream on a warm day if I want to." Yukino took another scoop of her ice cream. "Plus you're not the only one." She pointed at Mulan-sensei. "Think she's just eating crushed Oreos from a bowl."

"You can tell?" Akai-chan asked.

Yukino nodded. "I can feel anything that I've frozen, there's no ice cream in that bowl."

"That's interesting."

"Speaking of, I'm probably gonna go refresh the table and ice cream soon. Wanna keep 'em cool so they don't melt."

Akai-chan nodded. "That makes sense. It is rather warm today."

"Yeah," Yukino said, licking her lips to get a bit of chocolate off. "I like the heat, so it's nice." Yukino got up, stretching a bit. "Anyways, I'm gonna go cool off." She gave Akai-chan a quick peck on the cheek before walking off. Again, she smiled at the adorable squeak that Akai-chan made. She kept her smile as she walked over to the table and tapped it with her Quirk cooling it back down and reinforcing it. She shook out her hand, then walked over to the tubs of ice cream. "Hey, mind if I cool the ice cream off real quick?" Yukino asked Yuu-chan and Wolfie-sensei, who were about to serve themselves some ice cream. "Gotta make sure it stays cool."

Wolfie-sensei nodded. "Go right ahead, I don't mind."

"Yeah," Yuu-chan said. "Thank you."

Yukino gave them a grin, then grabbed the handles of the scoops and used them to chill the ice cream again. "The handles might be a little cold now," she warned, "sorry."

"That's fine," Yuu-chan said, then took some ice cream. "Thanks for the ice cream, by the way!"

"You're welcome," Yukino responded. "I'm gonna go now." She walked back to Akai-chan, chuckling to herself over the fact that she was still blushing over the kiss.

x x x

Yukino hummed to herself as they walked back to the dorms, carrying her beach towel, the trash bag, and the leftover bowls and stuff. "Today was nice," she said.

"Yeah," Neki-chan agreed, carrying one of the coolers again. "And thanks for the ice cream! It was so good!"

Yukino nodded. "You're welcome. That was nice, though I think if I do it again I might wanna prepare something for people who don't like or can't have cold treats." As she said that, she winked at Akai-chan.

Akai-chan raised her eyebrow at the wink but said, "That... does sound nice, yes. I can't wait to see what you make, Takeda-kun."

Yukino smiled at her. "Thanks, Akai-chan. I won't disappoint you!"

[sgstories123]

Shy Mark

Joey looked at Mark and sighed. He is so cute but unfortunately so shy. She has been trying so hard to get him to fuck her and be her boyfriend but alas, she has not been successful.

Joey first met Mark two weeks ago. She had gone to watch a basketball match to support her friend Shawn who was playing in the match. Mark was one of their teammates. She noticed then how tall and muscular Mark was. He had a boyish face and short, cropped hair. When Mark was shooting the ball into the hoop, he had an intense, serious look. When the ball dropped through the hoop, he will break into the most charming smile. Joey was mesmerised by Mark. After the game, she walked towards him and introduced herself to him. Mark just smiled and left without saying anything.

She asked Shawn about Mark and realised that Mark was exceedingly shy with girls. It seemed that he had broken off with his girlfriend for more than six months but was too shy to find another girlfriend.

“Are you sure you are interested in him?” Shawn had asked her. “He is cute but very shy. His girlfriend told me that he doesn’t initiate anything. So he is extremely boring.” Shawn looked at Joey and smiled knowingly. “Knowing your appetite for sex, you are going to be disappointed.”

Joey kicked Shawn on his shin, in jest. It was true though that Joey had a reputation of always changing her boyfriends but she did not think she was slutty. She preferred to think that she was simply trying to find a better one. It was also true that she had been telling many people of her sexual exploits. Perhaps that has given people the impression that she was insatiable when it comes to sex. But she convinced herself that she was simply not being hypocritical. Many of her friends love sex too but pretend not to so as to appear pure and innocent.

“You know, it is easier to be my girlfriend than Mark’s girlfriend.” Shawn continued. “I will be much better than him. How about it?”

“Fuck off! I know you so well that it will feel weird to be your girlfriend.” Joey countered.

“But seriously, if you get Mark to be your boyfriend, you may be quite lucky. He has one of the largest cock I have seen.” Shawn seemed suddenly serious.

Seeing Joey’s disbelieving look, Shawn continued, “Really. I am not joking. We played basketball together so I have seen him in the shower.”

“Then why did the girlfriend leave him if he is so good.” Joey asked.

“Ha ha! Not everything is about a big dick, Joey. If so, my girlfriend would have left me for my dog. Have you seen my dog’s dick? Twice my size, lor,” laughed Shawn.

“Never seen your dick nor your dog’s dick.”

“You want to see?” Shawn offered. “But seriously, since you like him so much and both of you are my friends, let me see what I can do.”

Over the last 2 weeks, Shawn had brought Joey along whenever he was meeting with Mark. They had gone to the movies, shopping, Starbucks and even to the beach. Joey was flaunting her body in a skimpy neon green bikini that had Shawn staring at her non-stop. She was amused when she saw Shawn spotting a hard cock through his swimming trunks. It seemed that it remained hard throughout the afternoon. She did not realise that Shawn was thinking sexually of her. Afterall, they had been friends for many years.

She was thrilled when she realised that Mark was also attracted to her. Or maybe it was just her body. She caught him looking at her several times. But as he was wearing board shorts, she could not see if he was sexually aroused by her. She tried several times to talk to him but he merely murmured some response and left abruptly. It was so frustrating. She even tried to smile at him seductively, or pretend to touch him accidentally on his muscled torso, but he merely turned away. He even rejected her request to put sunblock on her. If Shawn did not tell her that Mark previously had a girlfriend, she would have suspected that he is gay and not interested in girls.

Mark had tried to help Joey again. He has invited Mark and several of his friends to his house to watch a “live” football match, serving cool beer and pizza. Again, Joey had tried to talk to Mark but to no avail. She has given up and decided to sit away from the group of boys who were nosily eating and drinking while watching the match.

Joey was just taking another sip from her beer can when Shawn and one of his friends, Vinod, came up to her.

“Hey, Joey. I just heard from Vinod here what mark’s weakness is. He is so shy that he freezes up when a girl talks to him. But if the girl is passive, he becomes less shy. You are too aggressive lah.”

“Yeah.” Vinod chipped in. “You know how he got together with his previous girlfriend? He was interested in her but did not dare to approach her. He was sending her home after class but she fell asleep in the car. Then he plucked up his courage to kiss her. She woke up and he felt so guilty that he became her boyfriend. You can try that too.”

“So what should I do?” Joey sounded interested. “Do I pretend to be asleep?”

“I thought of a better idea. But it depends on whether you agree or not.” There was a mischievous glint in Shawn’s eyes. Vinod was also grinning. Joey had an uneasy feeling. These guys are plotting something.

“What is it? I know it must be something naughty.” Joey looked at Shawn and Vinod.

“You can pretend to be drunk. We will lay you on my bed and then we will fuck you in turn. Mark will be so turned on seeing us fucking you. Then we will encourage him to fuck you too. But by then, we will leave the room. Once he has fucked you, you can pretend to wake up and confront him. He will have no choice but to listen to you and be your boyfriend.” Shawn proposed.

“Wait. All of you will fuck me? That’s like 7 of you.”

“Yeah, including Mark, that’s eight of us. You will definitely be sex-tisfied.” Shawn smiled.

“Wah liao. You win lor. All of you get a free fuck, what do I gain?”

“You also get a free fuck. No, you get 8 free fucks.” Vinod grinned at his own joke.

“And you get to realise your dream of fucking Mark and getting him to be your boyfriend.” Shawn was pushing all the right buttons. Joey could not think of a reason to say no. After what Shawn had been doing for her the last 2 weeks, it seemed right to reward him for his effort. But she was apprehensive about fucking the rest of his friends.

She knew Vinod as he was also playing on Shawn’s basketball team. She also knew a couple of the other guys, Bryan and Weijie as they were also on Shawn’s basketball team. She was less familiar with Derrick, Rahim and Irfan though. She looked at the group of boys again. Most of them were athletic and muscular. It might actually be enjoyable, she reasoned to herself.

“Ok. I can go along with it but on two conditions.” Joey finally agreed.

“What?” Shawn and Vinod almost shouted in unision. They had clearly planned this and were excited that their plan worked.

“Keep your voices down!” Joey whispered. “All of you must wear condoms. I don’t trust where you have been sticking your dicks. I don’t want to get any STDs.”

“No problem. I have plenty in my room. I have lubes too. I guarantee they will all use condoms,” promised Shawn.

“And I can confirm and double confirm for you, no problem-o!” Vinod offered. “What is the second condition?”

“Does the rest of the guys know about this plan?” Joey asked.

“Nope. Only the two of us.” Shawn replied.

“Okay. Then the second condition is that we keep it a secret between us. No one else must know that I am pretending to be drunk.” Joey looked at the two boys.

“Of course. Just our little secret. No one else will know.” Both boys agreed immediately. “Let’s do this!”

The three friends looked at the rest of the group. All of them had their eyes fixed to the television and did not seem to realise that a plan was being hatched. Shawn and Vinod each held one of Joey’s arms and pretended to lift her from her chair.

“Hey guys! Joey is drunk. Come and help us bring her to my room!” Shawn shouted.

A few of them stood up and walked over, helping Shawn and Vinod carry Joey to the room. They laid Joey down on his bed and she put up a good show of pretending to be drunk, mumbling something incoherently, but otherwise remaining quite motionless.

“She is quite pretty. What say we fuck her?” Joey heard Shawn proposed.

“Are you crazy? That is rape! You can go to jail!”

“She is a friend. She won’t report us to the police. Anyway, she won’t know. Look at her! She is dead drunk.” Vinod responded.

“Well, I am going to fuck her if you are not. I will go first and you can watch.” Shawn announced.

Shawn turned Joey over and removed her t-shirt. “Fuck! Look at those boobs! It must be at least a C-cup.” Shawn moved his hands under her body and expertly removed her bra. Joey felt a tinge if excitement but reminded herself not to make any noise or movement. She felt the cold air touched her nipples. She could feel several pairs of eyes staring at her but she did not dare to peek.

Shawn closed his lips on her nipples, replacing the cold air with his hot lips and tongue. Gosh! He is good at this, Joey thought to herself. Shawn alternated between licking her nipples and gently biting them, sending small sparks up her entire body. Joey clenched her teeth, trying to suppress herself from moaning.

Vinod stepped up to Joey and started to remove her skirt and panties. He got between her legs and started licking her cunt, jabbing it regularly with his tongue.

“Hey, are you going to watch the rest of the match?” Joey heard Mark’s voice and she realised that Mark must be seeing her naked and being fucked by two guys. She was worried if he will be upset.

“Shh! We are taking turns fucking Joey. Don’t wake her up!” Shawn commanded. “Move over, Vinod. I am going first.”

Shawn took out a condom and rolled it over his cock. He positioned his cock at Joey’s cunt opening and found that Joey was already wet and ready for him. He shoved his cock in one stroke, pushing himself to his hilt. He had been fantasising about fucking Joey ever since he saw her in her neon green bikini at the beach. Finally, he knows what fucking Joey’s cunt is like. Tight, warm and pure pleasure. He lifted her legs on his shoulders and continued fucking her. He bent down low and whispered softly in Joey’s ears.

“Fuck! You have such a tight cunt! This is so good! I want to fuck you so many times.”

Within minutes of pumping, Shawn ejaculated in the condom. As he pulled out, Vinod was already ready to fill the gap in Joey’s cunt. Without another word, Vinod plunged his cock into Joey. Joey could feel that Vinod had a longer cock. He was reaching much deeper into her. Joey could not contain herself any more and moaned softly, hoping that no one could hear.

“Fuck! She is enjoying herself! She is moaning!” Someone exclaimed.

The group of boys seemed to be too aroused by the fucking scene. No one seems to be objecting anymore. Joey could feel hands squeezing her boobs, tongues licking her nipples and lips kissing her. She dared not open her eyes to see who was doing what, but she was hoping that Mark was one of them.

Vinod too ejaculated soon after. Two more cocks filled her cunt and provided her with continued pleasure. She did not know whose cocks were those but the she knew the fifth person was Irfan.

“Irfan, you fucking idiot! Put on a condom!” Vinod hissed. Joey was relieved that Vinod kept his promise to ensure that everyone had a condom on. She did not want to get pregnant or STD from this.

“I don’t like condoms. They are too small for my cock.” Irfan complained.

“Then you don’t get to fuck her.” Vinod was insistent.

“Okay, lah.” Irfan reluctantly agreed.

“Then I go first. I cannot tahan any more. She is so hot.” Joey recognised Bryan’s voice. She felt Bryan’s cock struggling to get into her. He was hurting her with his thrusting. Is he so inexperienced or maybe even a virgin? She shifted her body slightly so that it was easier for him to enter her.

“Argh! This is so tight! I am fucking coming!” Bryan ejaculated just as he entered her. Joey felt sorry for Bryan. After all his effort, he came so quickly. Bryan just laid on top of Joey without moving.

“Move it! My turn!” Irfan did not seemed happy that Bryan was delaying his pleasure.

Irfan was not lying when he said he had a big cock. She could feel his cock stretching the walls of her vagina when he entered her. Irfan moved slowly but with each thrust, Joey could feel waves of sensation flow over her. But it was soon over.

After Irfan, another person took over and continued fucking Joey. After several minutes, he ejaculated and withdrew his flaccid cock from Joey.

“Mark, finally it is your turn. Show us all what your giant cock can do.” Shawn challenged.

Joey felt her body freezing up. This is it. This is what she had been wanting for two weeks.

Joey felt a pair of warm hands pulling her legs apart. She could feel the warm tip of Mark’s cock pressing against the lips of her cunt. Is Mark’s cock really that big? Was it longer than Vinod’s or thicker than Irfan’s?

Mark slowly push his cock into Joey. Joey gasped. It was definitely thicker than Irfan’s. Even though she has just been fucked by Irfan’s thick cock, she could feel Mark’s cock pushing the walls of her vagina even further out. It was pain but followed swiftly by blinding pleasure. Mark was still pushing his cock into her. He was already reaching very deep into her yet he continued to push, way beyond where Vinod’s cock last touched.

Joey moaned again in pleasure. She could nonstop herself.

“Fuck! Mark! You are giving her so much pleasure that she will wake up! Pull it out!”

“Shut up! Are you jealous? You fucking came like 2 seconds.”

“I going to take a shower. Anyone coming along?” Joey knew that was part of Shawn’s plan to draw the rest of the boys away. She heard movement and then all was quiet. The rest of the boys must have left the room.

Mark seemed more at ease when the others left the room. He continued to push his huge cock into Joey until their bodies met. He fucked slowly, withdrawing his cock and allowing Joey’s cunt to close up before pushing himself in again, forcing her walls to stretch out. Joey was already pleasured by 7 cocks but she could still feel pleasure from Mark’s large cock. No wonder Shawn complimented Mark’s cock.

Mark increased his pace and Joey continued to enjoy the waves of pleasure that each thrust bring. Mark leaned forward and kissed her breasts, nibbling and licking each of her nipple. He moved up and kissed Joey softly, running his hands through her hair, all the while pumping her cunt and causing her to release rivers of pleasure juice.

Joey could not take it any more. She allowed herself to moan more freely and kissed Mark back. Mark froze for a moment, surprised at the sudden movement. Joey opened her eyes. “Mark, I want you to fuck me and be my boyfriend!”

Mark tried to pull himself out of Joey, but she wrapped her legs around him, not releasing him. “Fuck me!” Joey commanded again.

Left with no choice, Mark continued to fuck Joey, quickening his pace. Joey pushed Mark down on his back and she rode him in cowboy position, grinding herself on Mark’s large cock.

“I am cumming!” Mark whimpered. Joey continued riding Mark till she felt his cock growing soft and finally plopping out of her cunt.

“Can you be my girlfriend?” Mark whispered. That brought Joey the largest wave of pleasure from the fuckfest.

[rishi-eel]

The bad batch in star wars rebels prompts please

oh wow i have not actually watched star wars rebels yet, but i can give some hcs for the bad batch post fall of the republic

the bad batch removed their inhibitor chips shortly after echo joined them and proceeded to secretly continue fives’ investigation. rex and kix knew of this, with rex himself stressing that they needed to gather very strong proof. if there really is a conspiracy, coming forward with anything less than an irrefutable case would be to walk to the gallows

when kix vanishes, the circumstances under which he did lead to the supposition that someone is onto them. they have to be more careful, but they also need to quicken their pace. if it was discovered that kix knew of the conspiracy and was abducted (or eliminated) for this reason, it may be nearing execution. (fix-it hc: they find kix a year or two following the birth of the galactic empire)

when order 66 is issued, they obviously don’t fall under palpatine’s control, but there’s this sinking realization that they failed. to echo, this feels like he just learned of fives’ death all over again (because the idea that his sacrifice could have meant something kept a little bit of fives alive in echo’s heart)

we’ll see if this happens in canon or not, but i’d like it if the bad batch came to rex and ahsoka’s aid. either way, i’d want rex to wind up with the bad batch, echo specifically. rex needs to be with his little brother

now, the chancellor would want the bad batch to hunt down jedi who survived the initial jedi purge, meaning that they have a choice to make: do they want to fall off the radar as quickly as possible or do they try to save some of these jedi?

picture it: the bad batch, rex, and ahsoka going on these missions to save jedi, helping them disappear and possibly establishing this network of undercover jedi survivors

it’s possible that the jedi in question don’t immediately recognize the bad batch as clones (which may be something the newly self-appointed emperor, if he truly does not suspect clone force 99′s treason, believes will act in their favor). irregardless, being clones going after jedi would very much put them in a dangerous situation. the jedi would not immediately know that they are here to help and may display disbelief when they are informed of their intentions. the bad batch may be dissuaded to further help the jedi if they are repeatedly met with contempt and attempts on their lives

i know that in rebels, there’s a character named kanan who survived the jedi purge as a young padawan. clearly traumatized, he has an understandable distrust for the clones, though it also leads to him being rather contemptuous towards rex, wolffe, and gregor, who all seem to be rather patient with him. the bad batch would not be so tolerable of such attitude, with crosshair in particular not holding back from setting things straight, even if that means being cruel in his words. they arent going let some jedi think they’re the only ones who’ve suffered here, and they aren’t going to accept anger directed their way without unleashing some of their own 

when the bad batch officially defects, perhaps faking their deaths to get the empire off their trail, they have to adapt to having absolutely no support in resupplying their resources. they do pretty well in what food is concerned, as they already made a habit prior to the republic’s fall to hunt for game, disliking republic rations. getting fuel, medical equipment, and blaster charges is more difficult.

prior to the fall of the republic, the bad batch also made a habit of taking side jobs in order to have some financial independence. this definitely comes in handy now that they’re on their own, but the republic credit (the currency they have most of) has dipped significantly in the outer rim, so they’re experiencing financial issues none the less

they pay close attention to the situation of the clones under the empire. it had already become apparent to them that their treatment under the republic was wrong, but somehow the empire manages to be worse. they join efforts to set the groundwork for a clone revolution

the original bad batch had already started to reconsider their opinion of “reg” clones thanks to echo. with the rise of the empire, the public opinion of the clones has become abysmal on either side. it’s not that they no longer see the differences they hold with other clones, but that it’s so secondary compared to their differences with natborns. the clones are their people and they will fight for them and their interests. they are fighting for themselves first and foremost and refuse to become accessories for someone else’s cause (been there, done that)

rex and the bad batch attempt to rescue cody from the empire (cody lore is so vague beyond rots so u know what. im gonna say they succeed. maybe it takes a while, but they succeed)

they likely cross paths with the rebellion, but whether they truly ally themselves to the cause and become rebels themselves depends on how they’re treated. they wouldn’t submit to anything that diminishes their freedom and autonomy.

(lets take a little moment to entertain the thought: what would the rebellion’s opinion of the clones be? as far as they’re concerned, the clones betrayed the jedi and the republic. would they believe echo when he tells them of the inhibitor chips? of the conspiracy? the rebellion is also called the alliance to restore the republic: would they acknowledge the crimes committed by it? would they recognize that the clones were slaves? if they didn’t care before the republic’s fall, who’s to say they really do now? would the bad batch be made to feel like they owe something to the republic, that they have to atone on behalf of the other clones?)

they probably accept some bounty hunter jobs now and then, though they stick to a strong code of ethics and are careful not to get tangled up with the wrong crowd. they’ll also help random people who are in trouble, acts of benevolence that often gain them important allies

another fix-it hc but i HATE the “clones age at double rate their entire lives” so i propose that the accelerated aging is just during their first ten years to get them to maturity, after which they age either at a normal or slowed-down rate

[rune-writes]

Sentimental Coffee

Fandom: Persona 5

Ann Takamaki Week 2020 » Day 3: Free Day

Word Count: 2897

Rating: G

Summary: On a blazing summer morning, after a photoshoot that ended early due to the scorching heat, Ann found a new coffee shop that just opened on Central Street. As she sent Ren a picture of her cake and blended chocolate drink, she recalled of a time when Ren taught her how to use the siphons a month before he returned to his hometown. When winter was almost over, but a chill still hung in the air.

Note: This was supposed to be my piece for the digital Persona Love Webzine, but since that project was cancelled, I decided to post this on Ann Week 2020 :)

Read on AO3.

~*~*~*~*~

“One double chocolate chip frappe and one slice of cheesecake.” The waiter, having recited her order, glanced up from his note. “Anything else, Miss?”

Ann stared at the list of cakes on the menu. The red velvet and fruit tarts looked tempting. Or maybe she should add the quiche. But her manager’s voice rang out in her ears—to cut down on her snacks and sweets—so Ann closed the menu and smiled at the waiter.

“That’s all, thanks,” she said.

A faint blush. The waiter nodded and jotted down on his notepad before scurrying off to the counter on the other side of the shop. He spoke to his friends behind it, who then glanced over their shoulders to look at her, only to duck their heads again when they found her staring back. Ann couldn’t keep herself from giggling.

She had been on a shoot nearby, and even though it was only 10 AM, the sun had already been blazing hot that the shoot ended early. The staff had said they would continue in the afternoon, hoping the heat would have cooled by then. So as Ann drifted away from the crew and wondered if she should wait at home, she spotted the little café tucked between a clothing store and sundries shop—a newly opened coffee shop on Central Street that was featured in last month’s magazine. She had been wanting to visit the place, but with gigs, interviews, and college, Ann hadn’t found the right time to go.

Sweat rolled down her temple. Ann was already sitting beneath the air conditioner, but even that only helped so much. She took off her cap, tied her hair to a tail, and fanned herself.

“I’m sorry for the wait.” 

The waiter from before came with her cheesecake on a tray. A slice of yellowish-white goodness with a whipped cream and cherry on top that made her mouth water. He set the plate down in front of her. 

“It’s quite hot today, isn’t it?” he went on. “Do you want me to turn the temperature down?”

“That’s fine, thanks,” Ann replied. The sight of her cheesecake was enough to cool her down. She couldn’t wait to dig in. “I’ll just rest for a bit.”

The waiter nodded but didn’t seem to move. When Ann looked up, she met his expectant gaze. “I’m sorry if this is rude of me, but I can’t help but notice,” he began after a moment of fidgeting on his feet. There were only a few other customers present, but he leaned his head down and dropped his voice to a whisper. “You’re the model Ann Takamaki, right?”

Ann blinked in surprise. Then again, she hadn’t put the effort to disguise herself. Only a pair of sunglasses and a cap—which she was using as a fan. Her lips parted into a practiced, effortless smile.

“Could you keep it quiet, please? I’d rather not draw attention to myself,” she said with a finger to her lips. The waiter nodded, too eager for his own good. He said something about her frappe being ready soon and that he hoped she enjoyed her stay before leaving for the counter again.

It felt strange, watching the waiter talk animatedly with his coworkers, who occasionally spared her glances between putting coffee beans in a grinder or pouring blended drinks into cups. Was it because she had been putting more effort into her modelling lately? Ann couldn’t walk down the streets without being noticed anymore. Her cap and sunglasses had become her best friend, but with summer on the way, there had been no way she could have hidden herself beneath a cowl or some sort.

Ann grabbed the small silver spoon the waiter had set for her and sliced into her cheesecake. Soft and creamy, the cake melted the moment it entered her mouth. Still cool, fresh from the refrigerator. Ann squealed in delight. Who was it who said she shouldn’t snack in the morning? Though would this count as a snack? How many calories would she have to burn today, including her frappe that had yet to come?

“Here’s your double chocolate chip frappe, Miss.” The same waiter placed a glass of blended chocolate in front of her. Look at that whipped cream! Topped with chocolate syrup and sprinkled with chocolate chips.

Ann thanked the waiter before sipping her drink, pulling the straw out to swipe at the cream along with the syrup and chips. She broke into a jubilant grin. So cool. So sweet. Just the perfect thing she needed to ward off the last of the summer heat from her skin. What her manager didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

She fished for her phone from inside her bag and positioned her frappe and half-eaten cheesecake in front of her. She set to take a picture, but then opened her messaging app and clicked on Ren’s chat at the top.

‘What are you doing?’ she typed. Ren was on an out-of-town trip with his college friends for an assignment. Ann wasn’t jealous, not when her boyfriend was trekking through a village in this scorching heat.

His reply came not a minute later: ‘Taking a break.’ He followed it with a picture of him and his three other friends in a Japanese-style restaurant. Mount Fuji soared into the clear, cloudless blue sky, its snow-capped tip just visible beyond the square window panes. ‘I’ll be back this afternoon.’

Ann took a picture of her frappe and cake and sent it to him. ‘Jealous?’ She added a lot of smirking and grinning emojis.

‘Heh. It’s not as hot here as it is there.’

Ann could almost see him smirking. Jerk. She couldn’t help but giggle.

‘A café just opened in Central Street,’ she said. ‘They have these siphons too, like the ones in Leblanc.’

‘Ahh, yeah, I think someone mentioned that before. Remember how you messed up Leblanc when I taught you how to use them?’

Ann paused. ‘What?’

‘The siphons.’

It took her a moment to remember. Something that happened before Ren moved back to his hometown. When winter was almost over, but a chill still hung in the air.

***

Ann sat at the counter with a magazine in hand. The quiet hum of conversation filled her senses. An anchor spoke in a news program while Sojiro sat by the cash register, reading a newspaper.  

Ann flipped through her magazine, trying hard to make sense of the words. She skimmed through the pages, stopping only at the pretty pictures of far-off islands and expensive resorts. A yawn threatened to swallow her face, but she held it in, eyes blinking back tired tears as she flipped another page.

A snort came from up ahead. Ren, now standing by the siphons, was masterfully navigating the intricate device. Ann pulled her lips into a scowl.

“What?” she said, her voice clipped.

“You can take a nap upstairs if you want,” he replied with a chuckle.

She would, but Ann didn’t want to waste what’s left of her precious time with Ren napping in his room. Even if that precious time was only her sitting there and watching him work. She picked up another scent of coffee as Ren added tablespoons of soft grounds into boiling water. After quick, gentle stirs and all the coffee grounds submerged, Ren set the paddle down and lowered the heat.

“I can’t concentrate when you’re staring like that,” he said, setting a timer on his phone. His tone was firm, but he was smiling. 

Ann blinked, then smirked, propping her elbows on the counter and leaning her chin between her fingers. “What, did I make your heart flutter?”

“Stupid.” Ren gave her forehead a gentle flick. “My heart’s been fluttering since the moment I saw you.” 

Maybe if he’d grinned or snickered or showed any signs that he was teasing, Ann would have taken it in stride and laughed it off. But Ren was serious and his voice matter-of-fact, as though it was an indisputable, universal truth. Ann’s face burned. Before she could come up with a reply, Sojiro’s stern voice broke through their banter.

“Can you kids please keep the flirting to a minimum? We still have customers, you know.” The middle-aged proprietor spared them a glance from his seat, one corner of his lips tugged into a teasing grin.

Right. Ann dropped her gaze to her magazine, but not before catching Ren’s smirk. She gaped at him. He was teasing her!

“That’s alright, Boss,” the old lady said. The elderly couple were the only customers left in the otherwise busy day. They had been sitting at the table behind Ann for almost an hour with nothing but a cup of coffee. “It’s nice seeing young love blossoming in front of you. Isn’t that right, Dear?” she asked her husband sitting across from her.

Her husband nodded, mumbling “right, right,” though his attention was fixed on the television. Ann shared a glance with Ren and was glad to see she wasn’t the only one feeling embarrassed.

“Ah, but I heard you’re leaving soon, son?” the old lady went on. Ren looked up from the siphons. “Boss told me.”

“Oh…” A slight widening of his eyes, Ren’s gaze wavered for a fraction of a second before he resorted to a quiet nod. “Yeah.” He stirred the coffee in the siphon and removed the heat source from the bottom chamber. “I’ll return to my hometown after the semester ends.”

“It’ll be lonely here,” the old man added, sipping his coffee. “It was nice having a fresh face around, unlike the old grump who runs this place.”

“Keep badmouthing me and I’ll charge you twice for the coffee, gramps,” Sojiro chimed from the kitchen. 

They all laughed.

The couple finished their coffee and asked for a check. While Sojiro handled the cash register, Ann found her gaze drawn toward the siphons, where the coffee was now making its way back to the bottom chamber. It had always fascinated her—the way they worked. Ren had tried to explain the science behind it, but Ann could never truly grasp it. Something about vapors and pressure and vacuum. Ann enjoyed seeing the water rise to the top beaker before falling back down after the heat source was extinguished, extracting all the essence, aroma, and taste from the grounds. And once everything was finished, a small dome-shaped mound formed over the filter.

“Your coffee, Miss,” Ren said, pushing a cup of the freshly brewed coffee toward her. Ann stared at it, perplexed. She hadn’t ordered a coffee. But before she could ask, Sojiro had cut her off, asking Ren to watch the store while he went out to buy groceries for the evening. The elderly couple had left, and Sojiro was already untying his apron, setting it down on the chair by the register.

Ren replied with an “alright”, but even after his guardian had left, he still didn’t look at her. She followed him with her eyes as he wiped the counter clean, wondering what thoughts hide behind that beautiful poker face. It was not until he stopped and asked, “What?” that Ann shook her head and mumbled, “Nothing.” 

I heard you’re leaving soon. 

Right. There was only one month left. The coffee swirled dark in her cup. Ann brought the rim to her lips and sipped the thin liquid. Bitter. But satisfying. Ren’s coffee had never failed to put a smile on her face. 

“I’m gonna miss your coffee,” she murmured.

A pause in his movements. She felt it more than she saw it, the way his gaze fell on her. He studied her, and for a moment she refused to look up. Ren always had that piercing glare, as if he could see right through her to the deepest, darkest parts of her mind, and right now, Ann didn’t want to feel naked in front of him. But then he called her name, so soft, his voice just above a whisper, and it was an instinctive gesture—the way her eyes met his. The look she saw on his face rooted her to the spot. Gone was the poker face he so often donned. His dark gray orbs were drawn, his lips pulled into the most tender smile she had ever seen on him.  

“Want me to teach you how to make them?” he asked.

It was such an unexpected offer that Ann had to take a moment to understand what he meant: the siphons. But… why? What brought it up? Ann tilted her head to the side in puzzlement. 

Ever since the first moment she met him, Ann could never guess what Ren was thinking. One moment he was the convicted criminal on probation. The next, he became one of the few people in her life who ever reached out to her, when all the world saw her as nothing but a nuisance. He’d become so dear, and she would not trade him for any other men in the entire world.

Then the tender smile disappeared, replaced by that cheeky yet endearing smirk that pushed her heart to near-bursting.

“Might as well,” Ren added, “so you don’t come crying to me every night on the phone.”

Ann rolled her magazine and slapped him hard on the arm. 

“Between you and me, we both know who’s gonna call the other every other night,” she retorted.

“Wanna bet on that?”

He was grinning, and so was she. The next thing she knew, both of them were doubling over with giggles and laughter that neither of them could stop. She drank her perfectly brewed coffee, which, in her opinion, was already better than Sojiro’s, and Sojiro’s was a tough bar to pass. If only he could stay…

Ren quirked an eyebrow when Ann looked at him. “Well,” she said, getting up to her feet. She moved to the other side of the counter and stood in front of the siphons. Blue eyes met gray, and Ann hoped her smile was bright enough to hide her melancholy. “What’s the first step, chef?”

***

How could someone mess up a place just by brewing coffee?

It was supposed to be easy—or, Ren said it was supposed to be easy. “Pour water into the bottom chamber, let it boil over the heat source, see it transform into vapor as the rest go up the siphon into the top chamber. Add coffee grounds, stir, and wait.” The worst she could do was probably the uneven ratio, or the stirring method, or the timer, resulting in a too-thin coffee or too thick. So how had it ended up with coffee splattered all over the counter and a slight blister on Ren’s hand?

‘It was mostly your fault,’ Ann replied in her text.

‘“Mostly” being the key word.’

Ann had been waiting for the timer to go off when suddenly, arms wrapped around her from behind. Ren had rested his chin on her shoulder, making her heart skip a beat.

“Ren?”

“Let me stay like this for a while.” His voice was soft against her ear, and maybe it was the slight tremble she had noticed that made her give in. She’d covered his hand with her own.

“It’ll only be a year,” she’d said. His arms had tightened. “And we have phones. And internet.”

“Are you saying you won’t miss me?”

“Stupid.” A quiet thing, accompanied by a breathy chuckle. Her breath caught in her throat. “Of course I’ll miss you.”

They had stayed like that until the timer went off in a sudden blaring noise. Ann jumped, jerking Ren back a step. Her shoulder knocked his chin. 

Between his hiss of pain and Ann’s hasty apology, Ann had turned around in an attempt to check on him. But her elbow bumped against the boiling siphon, and it swayed, then tumbled, but before it could crash, Ren’s hand had shot out and grabbed the handle. Coffee had splashed across the counter and the back of Ren’s fingers burned from grazing the bottom beaker. They’d rushed him to the sink and poured cold tap water over it.

‘You were getting touchy-feely when the coffee was still brewing,’ Ann went on.

‘And you didn’t?’

She had. It had been her precious last month with Ren before he returned to his hometown. Who wouldn’t have gotten sentimental? She could almost hear his laughter. Ann smiled.

‘Anyway, what does that have anything to do with our conversation?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Jerk.’ Ann laughed.

‘Let’s go there sometime,’ came his reply. ‘Together.’

Together. Ann fought hard to keep her smile at bay as she typed in her reply. ‘Let’s.’

Ren had to go, so they bid each other goodbye. Ann stared at her phone screen, exhaling a quiet, contented sigh. It had been a while since their last date. With college and part-time jobs, their quality time had been reduced to movie nights or dinners at her home or his apartment.

Ann couldn’t stop smiling as she sipped her cold blended drink, eyes fluttering upward toward the siphons on the counter. The barista was now brewing coffee to a small group of spectators. Ooh’s and ahh’s erupted from them, and for a moment, she was back in Leblanc, sitting at that counter, watching Ren work the coffee siphons. Her smile grew. It had always been a captivating thing to watch.  

~ END ~

[rankertopgoogle]

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[apathycarestostudy]

Motivate me to get my butt in gear friend !! Uni opens again in a month !! Must finish syllabus before then !! Must stop reading fics and being in denial! Help! (P.S ily :p♡)

Hello hello love. Here are some tips I think will help, mixed in with a bit of nagging, wrapped up with some tough love!

So here we are. First, I’d like to commend you for recognizing that it’s time to get back on the hamster wheel so soon. You’ve a month left, which is ample enough. 

Don’t beat yourself up with time lost

You might be thinking you should’ve gotten up sooner, or done more, or done something some time ago. That doesn’t matter anymore. Yes, I’m an advocate of owning up to your faults, but for one second - recognize it, acknowledge it, and then move the hell on. Never mull on it unless it poses a problem and mulling on it would fix it. So stop all those thoughts - make a firm decision that you will drop all berating, toxic, or otherwise negative thoughts at the door. It won’t go away soon, you’ll need to keep stopping yourself mid-thought, but try to get it down. It’s a simple thing to start with, and I believe you can do this much. My mom always tells me, once someone apologizes, take their apology and leave it at that. The resentment won’t go away quickly, but release it. And I believe when you apologize to yourself, you should forgive yourself, and release.

So please release it.

The three Ps I just made up - paper, pen & plan (or phone, pad & plan)

I tried lmao. Phones be ruining everything. If you didn’t get it tho, by pad, I meant notepad or memo or whatever’s on phones these days. Specialized apps, all of it. It’s just that none of them started with a P and I -

Get your preferred medium of...recording stuff, and don’t make a plan. Yet. I want you to write down a list of things you need to get down before the month is up. A sentence per task. For example:

Get more connections on LinkedIn

Save up 20% of my allowance

Finish a writing commission

Finish a course I signed up for

(..........)

So something like that. One liners you need to finish up. And then don’t plan yet. After you’re done listing everything that needs to get done, you split the page in half (or just write it next to it in parentheses on your phone like this) and write “constraints”. Not emotional ones at first - try and write a logical constraint. Like for the course I signed up for, the logical constraint would be I have no time for it anymore because I got something better - an internship opportunity - and the emotional constraint would be I’m not interested in it anymore, or I don’t wanna lol. So write up some logical constraints. Is the workload a lot? Are you family members sending you off to do stuff for them and you have no choice but to do them and forsake your time? Do you not have an empty notebook to get started? These are all valid hurdles you may face.

Now, if you have some that have no constraints yet, write your emotional ones. You don’t want to. You’d rather do something else. Fanfiction. All of that. 

Look back at your list. What’s causing the emotional ones? How can you get rid of the logical ones? Remove them, run away from them, address them, or ignore them - pick one.

Now, plan.

Distractions

So when I feel like I should get up and do something, I’m learning to seize that feeling prematurely and do it. I say prematurely because you know when the thought matures, you’re gonna talk yourself out of it or dismiss it, so you gotta grab that as soon as it crosses your mind. How to stop doing what you’re doing immediately? Remove access to the distraction. And I don’t mean use those apps - although if it works for you, go on with your bad self. If not, do the old school method of throwing your phone to the roof of your cupboard. 

Yeah. I had this period of time where nothing stopped me from indulging in fanficion - not even deadlines and consequences, which are the biggest things that drive me to do stuff, and the only way I could get over it was to throw my phone over the cupboard. I gave myself a hurdle to stop me from pulling it back towards myself, and not only that, imagine the shame of getting a chair, dragging it all the way to the cupboard, climbing up on that thing, and then pulling your phone down - just squeezing lemon juice in your damn eye and living with that burn. So, put a hurdle up.

(cupboard = dresser btw, not sure which word y’all use so)

You don’t need a whole lot to get started

Going back to not having an empty notebook. There was a time I needed one to get started, but I didn’t want to go out and buy one, and so I kept putting off my work and blaming the fact that I don’t have a notebook. You don’t really need the notebook to get started. I could’ve easily pulled out my laptop and used One Note or MS Word or whatever if I really wanted to work. I mean I hate using digital stuff, but I could’ve sucked it up if I really didn’t want to go out and really wanted to work. The right answer was I really didn’t want to work, not the notebook.

Just start. Screw the notebook, screw your shitty pen, screw the messy table - just start. Shove all the mess to the edge and cram your arms in that tiny space and just start. You don’t need highlighters or a bottle of water or quiet time or the lights dimmed three notches down or your face moisturized or your plants watered - just start.

Not saying all of that is unnecessary, or wouldn’t help, but when it comes down to it, you don’t need all that to start. Don’t waste your time preparing to study or work. Just start.

Just start. Get your scrappy paper that’s 1/4 cut in a weird angle and just start.

One thing is better than nothing

I know I’ve said that a whole lot. A WHOLE LOT. But it’s true, and you truly need to take that to heart. If you’ve scratched one thing off your list, that’s good. 

But here’s what I’d do if I felt like I needed to do more.

First, seize that feeling. Next, do more. Start a little mantra of, “Just one more!” and do it like you’re taking one more cookie out the cookie jar. One more cupcake. One more chip. One more practice question. Romanticize it. Say it like you desperately want it, even if you don’t and do it. Oftentimes it’s the start that has us feeling some type of way, but once you accept what it is - as in you start eating it a little more quickly - you’ll sink into it and release that feeling. Next thing you know, you’ll find yourself done with one more thing.

Still tho, one thing today is one thing off your plate. Celebrate that, and promise you’ll do one more - at that moment or some other time.

Lesson from Naruto: give yourself a self-rule!

So there was this character in Naruto that was a total failure. He didn’t make it into the ninja academy, so he decided to give himself a self-rule: “If I run 500 laps, I’ll be accepted as an alternate.” which means he’ll be placed as a back up in case an already accepted student drops out. His father finds out, scolds him, and says that’s not a self-rule. That’s a wish. A self-rule doesn’t involve anyone else. A failure to accomplish what you say is accountable to you. Not circumstance, not anyone else. 

His father says, “Because of that [a self-rule on your self only], you are able to gather your strengths and focus on your efforts...That is how a self-rule works!” So how does the character change it? “If I can’t do 500 laps on my hands, I’ll do 500 push-ups!”

You see what I’m going for? 

I am not saying do 500 laps on your hands - this is a ninja anime we’re talking about here - I’m saying apply a self-rule that keeps you accountable and feeds into your efforts. Say, “If I can’t do ten practice questions, I’ll do ten rounds of this example question!” Give yourself an alternative you have to do if you fail your first attempt, and have it be of the same magnitude. What happens if you can’t do both? Keep adding on of course! The character would say, “If I can’t do 500 laps on my hands, I’ll do 500 push-ups! And if I can’t do 500 push-ups, I’ll do 500 sit-ups!”

Limitations exist, and you may not be able to get it the first few times, but eventually, the character manages to do 5000 laps - and he falls tiredly into his father’s waiting arms.

Just a little nice bonus I thought would be fun to add. I do something like this, but not as well thought out of course - I’d say something like, “I’ll do process design questions right now, and if I give up half-way, chemical separation processes is waiting for me.”

I thought I’d stop here because it’s getting kind of ramble-y and I think this’ll be enough of a push to get you started. Maybe not a push even - a nice little pat from your friend that’ll evolve into a push by your fine self. You can do it. Just start LOL.

I’mma end this with a positive note from that same episode of Naruto. Here’s a quote from that father to his son when he asked him why he was so chipper when he failed so much and couldn’t be “strong” (as in overcome the obstacles in his way). I see this in our lives, be it with friendships, biting your tongue when your boss yells at you, or giving up after failing a class.

“True victory isn’t about winning from someone strong. It’s about defending what’s important to you!”

[konpithepuppy]

[TRANSLATION: POTATO 05.2021]

7 MEN SAMURAI SOLO INTERVIEW

Scans not mine

Neither an English nor a Japanese native speaker

Feel free to correct me, thanks

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

A gravure of 6 people who gives off a wonderful aura that seems like will make you fall in love the moment your eyes meet. In the interview, the members's value towards "love at first sight" is highlighted. (The interview was done at the middle of March.)

Questions:

Q1. Does love at first sight exist?

Q2. What specific first impression of a girl has a good impression on you?

Q3. What is the item that you fell in love at first sight and bought it?

Konno Taiki

A1. It is relatively possible (LOL).

But, not just based on the appearance, I may also be attracted to her inner side. I think I will find her cute when I try talking to her and will find out that she is an honest and airheaded girl. Basically, since I want for the move to come from me (T/N: lit. push myself harder), so on the contrary, I don't like to be told, "I fell in love with you at first sight." Without suddenly asking her contact address, I want to do things step by step (LOL). And then, when I also think that it is okay on her side (T/N: lit. she's good), I want to confess to her finally.

A2. Since I like someone who is an airhead, I can recognize if the person is an airhead or not on the first meeting. Since there is something that impresses only me (LOL). Being too much of an airhead is a problem but I like someone who is an airhead to an extent that I can tease. When she said something wrong, I want to pester her saying, "Can you try saying it again?" (LOL).

A3. I like a lot the black bomber jacket that I bought last year. I like the color black, and I came to like simple styles too. I first saw it in the internet but I am the type who buys things that I have seen in actual so I went to see it at the actual store and bought it there.

Recent Happening

I want to go and buy spring clothes but I refrain from going out too much so I can't go and buy...An email from the brand that I like came saying, "Our new collection is out" and I desperately want those (LOL). I buy sweater and parka every year but this year I am greatly troubled [whether to go out and buy or not]!

Nakamura Reia

A1. It totally exists! Since the personality shows on the face, if I like the face then I will like the personality too I think. I think the type of person I will like depends on the situation I am in at that moment. Like, I think a person who seems kind when I am tired is nice, and I will be attracted to a person who looks like I can have fun with when I am in high-spirit. But, on the contrary, I might get turned off at the person who falls in love at me at first sight.

Since I am putting a fake face in front of a person who I am meeting for the first time (LOL). It is not the first impression but I feel really being liked when the person responses back to me as an answer to my approach.

A2. More than being fixed with clothes that are in trend, I like better a person who shows "I like this!" with her clothes and small accessories. I want her to be a nerd of something. We will be excited together if we have the same hobby, and if we have different hobbies, I want her to teach me her hobby. For example, I am an indoor type but if she likes fishing, I want for us to try doing it together.

A3. A black setup with a dragon embroidery on it. It is very stern (LOL), but the material is very soft and it feels good wearing it, and I don't have to think of a coordinate so it is easy to wear. I often wear it to the filming site of 「Gekikaradou」.

Recent Happening

I bought a Pachira and started to raise it. Honestly, I wanted an animal but plants are cute too! I usually place it at the entranceway. But I sometimes bring it next to the window so it well get some sunlight.

Yabana Rei

A1.There is. It's just that I am shy of strangers so it takes time for me to make some move. I will consult for roughly a year (LOL).Or perhaps I should say, as long as there's no proof that I can make a move, it may take forever for me to make a move. If it will strangely destroy our relationship then it is better to just stay as friends. Even if a girl falls in love with me at first sight and approached me, I am thickheaded so I will probably not be able to notice it. I will not know if I will not be clearly told, "I like you."

A2. A person who can behave. For example, I like someone who stays silent in a quiet establishment, or someone who can read the room. Also, I think I will be happy with someone who has the same hobby as mine. Like we happen to like the same genre in music. My tension will rise the most with a person who likes cars.

A3. I don't think I am the type who buys impulsively at things that I fall in love at first sight. Even though I falll in love at first sight at something, I'm the type who will think properly about it. The black bass with a drawing of a bird that I bring on stage until now is a bass that I found by chance in an instrument shop. Even though there are other choices, after thinking too much about it, I thought, "The appearance of this one is cool after all," and I went to buy it the next day.

Recent Happening

3 more days and my sticker as a new car driver will be removed! Among the members, Taiko, Konpi (Konno), and Rinne-kun rode already but Taiko and Konpi are substantially banned from riding [my car]. Since they went on a rampage inside the car. They misunderstood a person's car with a jet coaster (LOL).

Motodaka Katsuki

A1. I don't fall in love at first sight but I think 1st impression is important to an extent. I think I will gradually like the person, who I thought is nice during our first meeting, while getting to know her. I am bad at dealing with someone who falls in love with me for the first time! But I am worried that that person will fall in love with another person (LOL). But if that person asked me, "Should we grab for a delicious meal?" I might be lured with food...(LOL). Moreover, I will be like "I know a shop with a delicious taco rice" and it seems like if I was told about something I am a maniac of, I will definitely talk about it.

A2. I am interested with the lips. With natural color, it has a sense of cleanliness, and lips that are not dry is nice. Things like lipsticks with loud colors, I don't like that much those that are shiny. A color that is close to a bare lips has a good impression in me. Wanting to kiss those lips without thinking, lips like that.

A3. I fell in love at a flounder in a fresh fish market and I bought it. Since its body is big, I was thinking that I could fillet it into 5 fillets. I filleted it into 5 fillets immediately at home, and I broiled some in the burner and I also made sushi.

Recent Happening

Abe (Ryohei)-kun gave me a parka from a brand I thought was good before. Before the filming of 「Q-sama!!」, he casually gave it to me saying, "Oh, which reminds me, here." I was really happy but it is super valuable that I can't wear it (LOL).

Sugeta Rinne

A1. I often think, "This person is cute" (LOL). But, I definitely do not tell it out loud! Finally, when I liked her inner side, I might be the type who will advance to being a boyfriend from being a friend. Even if how cute the person is, I don't like those who use words like 「w」

「草」 「sore na」 in mails (LOL). (T/N: w = laugh (LOL), 草 = literally, it means grass but people in the internet use it like "w" which means "laugh (LOL)" because "w" looks like a grass) Conversely, I will be a happy if a person falls in love with me at first sight, but I will completely doubt and ask, "Really?" If I am invited as a friend and gets confessed to, then my suspicions may loosen.

A2. A person who has silky hair, light makeup, and without colored contact lens. To exert a great amount of effort to be pretty is wonderful, but I think I like it better when it is not overly done. I like a neat and tidy person who looks good in white tops and denim pants!

A3. Before, I often fell in love at first sight with clothes, but I have a lot of failed purchases from buying clothes without trying them on. Like, when I bought a black long tee with a lion print on it, it turned out to be a dress for ladies (LOL). What I am currently aiming at is a sneaker with orange print on a white background. Since I haven't tried it on, I plan to buy it after I tried wearing it.

Recent Happening

Since I don't move extremely in the stage play「Hidamari no Ki」, my muscles toned down. My belly is protruding because of gastroptosis, so I was asked "Are you full?" during the dressing of Hakama (LOL). I must go back to training.

Sasaki Taiko

A1. There is. Isn't love in this world is approximately like that? I think there's not much of those who advance from friends to lovers. But since I want to know things about the other party, I want for us to exchange messages for around a month. And then, I want to meet the parents. Since it seems like we can properly date if I know the parents.

A2. A girl with pretty legs. I maybe looking at the legs more than the face. I like those girls who take care of their legs. But that doesn't mean I like girls to wear mini skirt, I am on the pants side. Lately, I think I came to like those pants like flare pants where it is tight in the thigh area.

A3. A large quantity of water from a large supermarket. 500mL of water came in a set of 40 bottles and it was very cheap. Also, I impulsively bought toilet paper. I bought so many that everything can't fit in the house so I gave some to my high school friend (LOL). Since I got my driver's license, I can now go in the supermarket alone and I go there around once a week lately. It feels like, "I've become an adult~." My next aim is the big potato chips!

Recent Happening

In the "Taiko Challenge" in ISLAND TV, when I uploaded a video of putting candy into a carbonated drink, I was surprised that the official account of the candy tweeted about it. Moreover, it is in English. Isn't that amazing? A CM may come after that...it will be my advance to the world. I might really do it! (LOL)

[mercurypilgrim]

Submitted Post from Firija

English is not my native language, I apologize in advance for my mistakes. And this is my first time to try and contact someone per tumblr, so I hope this is the right way.

I have been thinking about how to make your Ocs happy (or happier in some cases) and stumbled upon the good old game mechanic of giving gifts.

So, how would your Ocs react if they started getting gifts from this random Smuggler on Odessen base? She doesn’t have an ulterior motive, doesn’t want to hop into anyones bed (she is in a happy relationship with Corso), she just likes people to be happy. And giving gifts. Maybe see them happy. (Does that count as an ulterior motive?) She has no problem admitting that.

How would they like these specific ideas?

Jediahi – claw polish, chip-resistant. (There has to be an equivalent for nail polish for Cathar. And my Smuggler would find it. Or bribe someone from Oggurrubs lab to invent it.)

Kal – She is decent at judging people, but he is more than decent at lying so… she wouldn’t even get close to his real personality. She would have to choose on basis of his gameface. In his character portrait he seems to have a pierced ear, she would try an ear stud, small, not easy to grab, silver (that should go well with his skincolour).

Beryon – he is the most grumpy and unhappy-looking person on base she is reasonably certain will not kill her (in contrast to most Sith), so he will get the most effort. She would probably start with chocolate. Wether he likes chocolate or not – one present will not make him noticable happier, therefore she needs to up the game. Next she would try flowers with interesting smells. Then she somehow gets her hands on some Miraluka art. (Objects can be infused with the force and since every Miraluka is force sensitive, I headcanon that there has to be art that can just be „seen“ in the force.) She aquired a box with a variety of objects and checked with a Miraluka Smuggler, since she is completely forceblind. He confirmed the status as art objects. She presents the box to Beryon with a lot of badly hidden hopeful enthusiasm. Most of the art are the Miraluka-equivalent of landscape pictures – nice, but not spectacular. At least one of them is porn.

Ven'fir, the Commander – She would try to enlist Quinns help: An album of holo-stills of Quinn. She wouldn’t try to go for nudes or something like that (though I guess Ven would like to see them, Quinn would in no way be okay with her taking them) but a combination of snapshots and staged holos. I first had this image of her sneaking around base, trying to take snapshots, but for one, stalking him would be kind of creepy, and second, it would be very dangerous. I mean, she is really good at sneaking, being invisible and being visible but unremerkable, but this base has Ex-ImpInts. (And taking holos disrupts invisibility.)

She would offer Quinn that he can be the one to give it to Ven. (And Quinn gets every copy of every holo, too, of course). Should Quinn completely refuse… then she has to make a new plan (and so do I).

Avior – I am not sure if he even is on Odessen, but if he were… a rubic’s cube not with different colours, but surfaces that feel different to touch. If it isn’t to his liking, it should at least not be offensive enough to make him murder her.

Qel – She wouldn’t know a lot about him and would know better than to sneak after a Sith to get information (and I cannot remeber a lot about him), but judging from your picrew he has long hair. A hair ornament with a hidden lockpick, in a style matching his other jewellery.

Ryali – lemon sherbets and jumping chocolate frogs. Wrong universe? See, a funny thing happend last week in some old ruins…, nevermind, not important.

Thank you for all your stories and your great OCs!

- Firija

Oh, goodness! This is wonderful, thank you so much for submitting this! (I made a funny noise when I read it <3 ) You have excellent taste, I must say. These ideas are absolutely perfect!

(I have edited this post with my response rather than reblogging it, so as to keep you anonymous. Tumblr shows the email address if it’s supplied with a submitted post! :) )

I shall respond in character, for funsies. 😉

Jediahi – claw polish, chip-resistant.

She blinks down at you, a little confused why someone she doesn’t know is handing her something. She’s trying to figure out if she knows you and has forgotten your face.

That doesn’t last long however, before she breaks out in a large grin. She tries to be careful with the gift as she removes the packaging, but her claws snag the paper in her excitement.

When she sees what it is, she’s delighted.

She immediately starts to gush about the gift, talking about how she likes the colours and how they’ll go with her armour. She gathers you up in a hug, lifting your feet off the floor, beaming.

She thanks you again as she sets you down and asks you if you want to go to the cantina and get a drink. She could always use more gal pals, she says, and you’re a sweet one. She asks if you like flamethrowers, and you realise that you’ve gained a friend weather you wanted one or not.

Kal –an ear stud, small, not easy to grab, silver.

Kal looks at you with a smile that’s bordering on fixed. He seems to be too still, his eyes searching for your ulterior motive.

He seems to decide on something and then his smile looks almost natural, and he accepts the gift, carefully unwrapping it from it’s coverings. He pauses when he sees it, and he looks from it to your face and back again.

He grins.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He says, and you can’t tell if he’s being honest. You think he is though, because you see him carefully put the box away in his pocket as he leaves, his expression strangely open as he does so.

From then on, he smirks at you in the corridors, and you’re not sure if his attention is a good thing or not. At least no one bothers you anymore.

Beryon – Chocolate, scented flowers, and Miraluka art (with some steamy pieces thrown in)

Beryon tells you to fuck off when you try and present him with your gift.

He’s convinced you’re making fun of him, and his cheeks start turning red as you insist that you’re not.

He accepts it with a gruff thanks, and all but flees from you. He opens his gift later, in private, and stares at the chocolate for a long time before he tries some. He likes it and keeps it for special occasions or when he’s feeling particularly off balance. He puts a square in his mouth and mediates, and it helps.

When you present him with the flowers, he doesn’t know what to say. He awkwardly tries to tell you that he’s not interested in you like that and seems relieved when you assure him that that’s not your intention.

He breathes in the scent of the flowers, and he smiles before he remembers that you’re there. He mumbles a thank you, and marches away again. He puts the flowers in his quarters, and they made him smile when he smells them.

When you give him the art, he tries to refuse. He tries to tell you that you shouldn’t be wasting your credits on him and attempts to push the box back into your hands. Your insistence makes him flustered, and he informs you that he will find something to give back to you. It sounds a little bit like a threat, but you’re mostly sure it isn’t one.

He goes through them in his quarters and enjoys them, until he gets to the steamy ones. He blushes bright red and hides them back in the box, before taking them out again ten minutes later.

He puts the art in his room when he can enjoy it when he’s stressed, and the steamy ones go in the box under the bed.

When he next sees you, he shoves a little present in your hands. It’s not wrapped and he’s very awkward about it, but he’s found a little hanging charm for her pilots chair. It’s a crystal that shines when the light hits it, and it can be cracked open to hide something small inside. He mutters something about it being purely practical and doesn’t mention that he went to Kira to help him find something for you.

Ven'fir, the Commander –An album of holo-stills of Quinn (gained with Quinn’s co-operation).

Quinn stares at you when you outline your plan to him. At first, he’s cool towards you, and he sounds defensive when he talks about the Commander, as if he’s suspicious of your motives.

Eventually you seem to thaw him enough to hear you out, and he listens. He blushes pink when you tell him the intricacies of your plan, and he automatically refuses. Before you can say anything else, he seems to think for a second before sighing. Ven’fir is a sentimental person, and he really would like the holos. Quinn seems uncomfortable with the idea of using himself in a gift, feeling it too close to arrogance to assume Ven’fir would want holos of him.

It takes a while to convince him, but you do.

He agrees to help, and soon you have a small collection of holos. He’s fussy about them, often insisting that you retake them if there’s something he doesn’t like, but the result is undeniable.

He stuffily complements your holo taking skills as though you he was doing your performance review, but he seems to be trying to be nice.

He insists that you be the one to present Ven’fir with the gift, abjectly refusing to take any credit at all.

Ven’fir looks amused when you hand him the holo album, but his expression softens as he flicks through it.

He’s delighted, and showers Quinn in vaguely inappropriate compliments that make him go red.

He smiles at you and thanks you sincerely, looking a little misty.

From then on, he greets you with a smile and a wave in the corridors, and he always buys you and whoever you’re with a drink in the cantina when he sees you there.

Avior – a rubic’s cube not with different colours, but surfaces that feel different to touch.

Avior doesn’t visit the base often, but you manage to catch him on one of the occasions that he does. He waves away his security, as if he needs it, and allows you to approach him. He’s a looming presence, and static sparks on your fingers when you hand him the gift. He seems to consider you, and you get the strange feeling of being weighed.

Whatever he senses from you, it seems to satisfy him. He thanks you, deadly serious as ever, but doesn’t open the gift in front of you.

Later, you receive a holomail that’s encrypted to within an inch of it’s life, expressing thanks in the most formal way possible until the end, where he admits that he’s caught himself playing with it in dull meetings. You get the feeling that you’re not really supposed to spread this around.

Qel –A hair ornament with a hidden lockpick, in a style matching his other jewellery.

Qel is suspicious of the gift at first, frowning at you when you try and press the box into his hands.

He signs at you, asking what it is. When you tell him it’s a gift, he asks again. He only relents when you admit what you’ve been doing, and he realises that you’re the one who gave his Master, Avior, his gift. Wary but deciding that if Avior deems you safe enough then you must be alright, he accepts.

When he opens it, you can see how surprised he is.

You previously spotted that he already wears jewellery, hammered bracelets on his wrists that clink as he moved, and his ears are pierced through with silver. Charms and pretty things are on his belt and you can see him smile as he turns your gift over in his hands.

His cheeks turn purple as he blushes, and he signs his thanks to you, hands moving almost too fast to make out.

When you explain the other function, he looks fascinated. His hair, a mess of a long braid, is soon pinned behind his head and he offers you a shy smile when you comment on it. It suits him, and he awkwardly thanks you again, genuinely pleased.

He insists on giving you something back, apparently unable to fathom something coming with no price attached and removes one of the hammered silver bracelets from his wrist. There’s a charm hanging from it that looks handmade, bone and some polished stone you don’t recognise, and he presses it into your hands. When you touch it, you feel a sense of security settle over you and you’re sure it feels cooler than it should.

He smiles when he sees you wearing it.

Ryali – lemon sherbets and jumping chocolate frogs.

Ryali’s perpetual smile widens when you present him with your gift. He accepts with a demure thank you, and his violet eyes are warm even as they sharpen on you.

He opens to gift, exceedingly careful with the wrapping so as not to tear it, and beams at what is inside.

He’s thrilled with the gift, and promptly invites you to share some tea with him to try the sweets.  

He gets you talking, and the two of you share stories and gossip over perfectly brewed tea and lemon sherbets. When the tea finally runs dry, he stands and walks you to the door with the smile still on his face, and you realise that you’ve been talking for hours when you’d only meant to stay for a few minutes.

He winks, and you realise just how a Sith like that keeps the Academy in check.

[a-stone-world-saga]

“When slaying a god, Always start at their heart”

Tsukasa’s downfall was focusing - obsessing - on one Ishigami Senkuu. He saw his enemy’s intellect and ingenuity and considered them a threat-- and they were, Hyouga acknowledges that. Ishigami Senkuu was impressive right from the start, clever and charismatic and resilient... but he was also just one man, and one man can create nothing without the people around him.

One of Senkuu’s goals was the build a Kingdom of Science. Tsukasa decided that science would be his greatest obstacle and fought his war by trying to chip away at it, bit by bit, but ultimately too slow to do any real damage.

Hyouga decided that the kingdom would be his greatest obstacle, and so he set out to remove it.

It was easy, in the end. For all of Tsukasa’s paranoia, stabbing him in the back - figuratively and literally - was simple. Tsukasa was never fit to rule anyway; Hyouga was simply better, stronger, wiser in the ways of warfare. Likewise, taking over Tsukasa’s Empire of Might wasn’t difficult either; weak people flock to the strong, bleating for salvation, and since Hyouga needed the numbers, he allowed them to live, for the time being.

Then he marched on Ishigami Village and razed it to the ground, because a king without his people was utterly powerless. Ishigami Senkuu’s kingdom falls, and Hyouga is the one left standing on its ashes, as he should be, looming triumphant over Senkuu’s defeated form, the corpses of his friends and allies scattered all around him.

The pièce de résistance of course is this: the bodies of Senkuu’s rat spies - throats slit and expressions frozen in eternal fear - tossed at their lord and master’s feet, and Hyouga gets the pleasure of watching the smartest man in the world break.

Ishigami Senkuu is not a fighter. His shriek of rage and grief cuts through the crackling fires around them but his wild attempt at taking Hyouga’s head is fended off as easily as if he hadn’t tried at all. Hyouga throws him back, and Senkuu stays where he lands, crumpled on the ground and gasping for breath through tears that Hyouga unfortunately can’t see from this angle.

He could kill him now. But Ishigami Senkuu is nothing without his kingdom, his spirit crushed, his heart destroyed, and who knows? Leaving him alive and surrounded by his failure might even... soften him. Enough for him to decide that a place under Hyouga’s reign in this Stone World would be better than remaining alone and helpless. Hyouga could always use a mind like Senkuu’s, broken but brilliant, and under his command.

“Your one fatal flaw was surrounding yourself with so many weaknesses, Senkuu-kun,” Hyouga smiles beneath his mask as he crouches down next to Senkuu’s prone figure. “Pawns should never become more important than their worth. Your mistake was caring about them. If you cannot discard them at your leisure, then they are just another noose around your neck. Kings can’t rule with dead weight, Senkuu-kun.”

He reaches out and pats the man’s head, pleased when Senkuu doesn’t have enough fight left in him to even slap his hand away. If Senkuu pulls through this and offers himself to Hyouga, Hyouga will have a place for him at his side.

If not, well. In the end, Senkuu is just another pawn.

Hyouga rises, surveys the devastating results of his handiwork with satisfaction, and then turns to leave.

When slaying a god, always start at their heart.

Tsukasa was wrong - Senkuu’s heart belonged not to science but to his people, and without it, without them, of course Hyouga would emerge the victor. He leaves Ishigami Senkuu broken and beaten and shattered on the ground, his whole kingdom conquered and in ruins.

(He leaves Ishigami Senkuu alive, and maybe that was his fated downfall all along.

When slaying a god, always start at their heart.

But what is left, after their heart is gone?)

-0-

Senkuu buries every last body with his own two hands. It takes days. Days and days of broken fingernails and bleeding flesh as he lines the once village with rows upon rows of crudely dug graves.

He cries himself out after the third day, and then he never cries again. He erects tombstones - vaguely round-shaped rocks - to mark the graves, and does his best to carve at least a name on each. He does his friends last, old and new, a family in this era that he hadn’t expected to find. He buries Francois next to Ryuusui, and Ryuusui with a blackened piece of the Perseus, never to be finished now. He buries Gen with as many black nightshades as he can find, along with a bottle of cola that had survived Hyouga’s massacre. He buries Chrome on one side of Ruri and Kohaku on the other, tucks diamond in with Chrome and the remains of Kohaku’s shield with her and wildflowers in with Ruri, who had so little time to enjoy the sunshine and fresh air and freedom after her sickness was cured. He thinks cradling Suika’s tiny limp body and lowering her into a grave next to Kohaku’s, along with her pet dog Chalk, is somehow harder than all the rest combined.

Kaseki gets his tools - what’s left of them - and Kinrou and Ginrou go together of course, buried with their broken spears, fixed as much as Senkuu can manage with the leftover material on hand. Ukyou, Senkuu knew the least, but he finds an intact arrow - handmade, expertly crafted - along with his hat, and buries those with the archer. Taiju and Yuzu are last. He buries them in one grave and tucks a fur blanket around them, and it takes more effort than he’ll ever admit to finally close up their eternal resting place as well.

And then.

And then he spends the next seventy-two hours with a sharpened piece of stone in his hands, and he wonders if it makes him a coward when he puts it down again in the end.

Byakuya would be disappointed though. His friends too, maybe. Or far more likely, they wouldn’t consider a simple suicide enough to make up for their deaths and sacrifices.

They died because of Senkuu, because he wanted to bring science back, because he’d made enemies he hadn’t been able to afford to make and hadn’t been able to protect his friends when it had counted.

For all his talk of science, of his certainty in his own genius, of a future bright with possibilities, at the end of the day, Senkuu is... weak. Weak and alone with no reasons left to keep going.

Ryuusui would call him ten kinds of pathetic.

No reasons left...

...except one.

Senkuu stares at the rows upon rows of graves. They are not petrified. They are dead. And Senkuu is just a man. Even he can’t rewind death.

But maybe he doesn’t have to.

Maybe he can rewind time instead.

He has nothing left to lose. Hyouga saw to that.

So Senkuu is going to make him regret ever thinking it was a good idea to leave a scientist without a heart.