#and manage my stress better

[simple-and-cozy-life]

I've been so stressed from the changes happening in my life that I forgot that, even though this is going to suck, God is going to get me through this transitional time. Eventually, I will have the stability that I need and I will have a family.

Life will persist and so must I.

[thebibliosphere]

I was talking on the phone to my mother earlier about how it looks like I'm possibly heading into very early perimenopause, and she agreed that was likely seen as how she had her last kid at 38 (same age as me) and then immediately went straight into menopause. Her body just shut up shop like no thank you, we are not doing that again.

And I was kinda joking with her like, wow, must be nice to have not had a period for 36 years, and she kinda laughed, then said, "Yeah. Except for that time when it came back when I was about 50," and I was like oh, wild, I didn't know about that, what did the doctor say and she was like, "Doctor?"

And that's when I had to be like, what do you mean you never went to the doctor when your period randomly came back after 12 years????

"Is that bad?"

Is that... MUM.

Anyway. I spent my afternoon explaining to my 74-year-old mother that you're not supposed to get your period again after you hit menopause, and if you do, it can be a warning sign that something else is going on, like a fibroid or cancer, and she should probably go to the doctor. Which, good news, I guess, she's already going because she's had a pain in her stomach for a while.

How long?

Oh, y'know. On and off. For about twenty years.

[yeonjune]

Yeonjun about the strain he felt while preparing for his debut solo project ✙ "GGUM" MAKING FILM

[ducktracy]

i've been in a very "nostalgic for SpongeBob" mood lately and that's warranted a lot of reflecting on Baby Me being a Sponge fanatic and thinking of what she'd think of now. and i have to say that one of my favorite parts of doing what i do--and also the most stupidly niche--is that one of my first online hyperfixations i recall having was SpongeBob production music. i remember animating magical girl transformations in Flipnote to SPONGEBOB MUSIC. i remember feeling so smart researching all the songs and getting to hear them without any dialogue on top. very gratifying to 11 year old me. i was and am still very fixated on production music, and so i always get very excited when seeing uploads of these songs and spotting a screenshot of a scene i worked on among them. one of my favorite aspects of watching episodes premiere is seeing what music they added on top of scenes i touched. it's just neat how many facets my thankfulness for Doing What I'm Doing gets to reach. i'm never not thinking of how grateful i am to be doing what i'm doing

[quarklynx]

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

[faithfromanewperspective]

what’s there not to understand about hypomania? you know when you get overtired, and like a toddler, you get all hyperactive and also want to cry or do Every Fun Thing you can think of and it actually becomes harder to sleep? like as a result of too much overwhelm or being so emotionally exhausted that’s how your body makes you able to cope, the aftereffects of too much adrenaline? just imagine being stuck like that. and every day it triggers itself more, overload of emotional whiplash and energy and you’ve lost all ability to think rationally and you can do anything at this point, because why not? you’ve got nothing left in you to hold back on any idea that could be exciting and stop you from falling into the void where the wiredness you feel has nothing to latch onto to burn off that nervous energy in a positive way, emotionally. for days or weeks or months on end. you don’t need to have ever experienced this fully to extrapolate and be like. yeah. I can see how it would suck eventually to get stuck like that

[chaos-in-one]

Me: Peacefully reading my psychology textbook, enjoying learning new things

The Textbook: Yeah so prolonged stress has actually been proven to lead to a much higher risk for a variety of health issues

Me:

Me: Ah.

[multicolour-ink]

Hello everyone 👋

I'm ok. I've just had things going on and I've been feeling so exhausted because of it. I haven't even had the energy to come on here. I want to be more active on here but I'm afraid it will be every now and again.

I really appreciate you all 💗🫂

[alphacrone]

this is your reminder that 99.9% of employers care more about money than you and even if they are kind and fair now they WILL at the end of the day put profits over your well being so absolutely do not sacrifice your life for them.

[roses-and-elixir]

.

[butnotbubblegum]

using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.

[ms-hells-bells]

working with male driving teachers reminds me why i hate men.

[rowenabean]

.

[nerdnag]

Actual conversation between me and the coach I get to talk to through work, after I told her that I have impostor syndrome:

Her: how long have you worked in this field?

Me: seven years.

Her: and you still have a job.

Me: yes.

Her: you work in a relatively small company. People would notice if you were bad at your job, and it would NOT take seven years.

Me: ... Yeah but... I mean... I know I am somewhat competent at what I do. But I... I fake so much.

Her: what do you mean you "fake"?

Me: well... Like, in meetings. I have strategies for the social bits. Not like I follow a detailed step-by-step plan or anything, but there are these patterns that I follow. And also I often find myself struggling to reach my knowledge while in a meeting, so I have to either say I'll get back to them or improvise something. And some days, if I'm having a bad day or low energy, my usual strategies don't work as well, or at all. And then I feel like everyone can see through me, and see me flounder or stumble over myself and realize what a fake I am.

Her: ... So you have strategies to cope with things that are difficult for you as a neurodivergent person.

Me: yes...

Her: that, to me, doesn't show that you're an impostor. It shows that you are incredibly brave, strong and intelligent.

Me: ... What

Her: you wake up every single day and choose to face your fears, to challenge yourself and strive to develop as a person. You have come up with strategies to handle these fears, strategies which *work*. Sara, that's not what an impostor does. That's what a *genius* does.

Her: an impostor wouldn't work as hard as you do. Most people do *not* face their fears everyday and come up with strategies to manage them. And impostors definitely don't.

Me: what the actual huh

Me: ... But... But I don't feel like I have a choice. And surely people wouldn't hire a coach if they weren't interested in developing themselves?

Her: I coach a lot of clients, Sara. Believe me when I say that even those who do want to grow and develop themselves very rarely struggle with the sort of difficult issues that you do.

Me: ... Oh.

Her: that being said, I will absolutely get to the bottom of this impostor syndrome and help you manage it. Trust me, I will get you out of that mindset.

Me: ... ok 🥺

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Update on my Whumptober thoughts: Not all the prompts will be posted, I have all 31 planned out but I found out that you don't have to post all 31. If a fic is finished, I'll post it but there's some big beasts that I want to write properly instead of rush. Also, I might not even write all 31. I want the completionist title but I don't have the time nor energy to force myself to write all the prompts and I did it last year and it wasn't like life-changing. I like Whumptober because the prompts help my creativity, spark some inspiration (talking about my Delancey Brothers Fic) but the perfectionist in me just beats myself up about not getting enough fics done before October or not writing enough each day to get them finished and then writing fics that all sound the same or the ideas being kind of shitty because I'm forcing them. I want to do my ideas justice rather than mass produce shit I don't like because I feel I need to, it's a constant line I walk between "I want to write something well and that I'm proud of so might be inactive for a while on AO3" and "I want to get this idea out there so need to post a bunch of stuff now"