#and man it felt isolating
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Eden: You sure it's not my fault?
Harper: No, Eden, no! It's just my own deeper feelings about myself. And I've always known it will be an inevitable part of getting older. It's more like... Well, the whole time I've been growing up, I always had to see all these romantic relationships, and all that comes with them. It was like the good was outweighing the bad, and it was an experience no one could miss out on. Our parents being a love story for the ages, our cousins dating around, and now you also have April. I'm really, really happy for you, don't get me wrong! But... for me it's different. For me, it was always enough to have you, our parents, and a few friends I've had. I felt fulfilled with you guys by my side. It was like my little comfort unit.
She sighed, looking particularly vulnerable. Eden was listening with intent. Harper often played a part of a caring older sister and didn't particularly open up about her own problems.
Harper: I know it's just who I am. I don't get all these romantic crushes or even casual sex. And I have always focused on my platonic, familial relationships the most, putting my all into them, but now I feel like it's unfair of me to expect this... loyalty of people. They're not like me. They will all have a special person sooner or later. Hell, that's all they talk about. And I can't even feel left out or anything, I don't have the right. I know I don't even want that type of thing. I'd feel bad about myself if I went against my wishes. But... it feels lonely sometimes. It feels like people like me... we're doomed, in some sort of way.
Eden: Harps... Man, I wish I could be there for you.
Harper: That's the thing... I know you don't have to. No one has to. But it stings sometimes, you know? That I won't have this one person, or that all my friends and family will just move on... Maybe it's about feeling special to someone. I mean, maybe it doesn't have to be romantic. I could find someone to just chill out with and share my interests with, to travel with and come up with the coolest outfit designs. But it feels... pretty much impossible. Everyone wants a love story nowadays.
Eden: I feel like there may be a lot of people like you out there. They're just not showing themselves. Or forcing themselves to live the life they despise.
Harper: It could be, dear. I don't want to be alone, you know?
Eden: You'll never be alone. I think of you daily. Even if things change, you're still my closest person in the world, and it will always remain so. But I'm sure you'll find your community as well.
#sims#ts3#sims 3#Electromagnets#eden astra-fletcher#harper astra-fletcher#oof I was writing from harper's pov inspired by the brief time I thought I was fully ace#and man it felt isolating#I read loveless by alice oseman too at the time and it was a really nice book on the topic
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I always think well if I dated a man, I wouldn't feel as insane. I wouldn't feel so awful or jealous. And then I remember why I came to the conclusion that I'm a lesbian. I just wouldn't care if it were a man. I just can't bring myself to care about men like that 😔😩😭
#personal#I've definitely been like oh hes paying attention to another girl thats a shame :((( about it like damn you were supposed to pine for me#forever and ever#but its never like I'm going to kill someone over it. I don't feel sick about it. I don't feel bone crushing sorrow#😭😔#but I feel like maybe I experience comphet a tad? because I look at cute couples like jenna and julien#or jessi and ty and wish to have that. like i want what they have so bad but also that will never be me because im gay#i wish there was more lesbian and gay rep in media#god does not LIKE ME . he said here is. bad parents who hate you. here is bpd and other undiagnosed issues#and other undiagnosed issues that were probably half the reason you felt so isolated in your high school experience. thanks to bad parents#here is 🩷 COMPHET!!!!!!!!!!@@ you're actually GAY and those boys you were crazy for? yeah . they were cute and all but thats IT#NO emotional connection!!!! none at ALL!!!!! 😍😍😍 you also don't feel sexually attracted to them either ♡#but what DO i feel for men?? just comphet? I feel something I think but its not love. its not a craving . its like#I want to be worshipped by a man and then tell him no 🩷 i want nothing to do with you but you should like me actually#??????????????????#does that make me a bad person? do I care if it does? I mean
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kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once
im not even joking btw
bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^
#mob psycho 100#mp100#shou suzuki#sho suzuki#reigen arataka#i know sho doesnt actually BELIEVE his dad is back but even just that split second reaction is a weird one to have over your dad coming bac#he was like 'say sike rn... wait that aint right.'#shou watching them on the bottom floor while being isolated up in the corner at the end of the third stage play. and saying#'it's nice that they're so easygoing.' all wistfully???? im killing somebody#reigen calling him a poor thing and worrying about him DESPITE knowing his mischievous ways. ugh#gonna quote my reaction to clip rq#'bro [shou] heard him [reigen] talking about guardianship over children and making sure theyre safe over anything else and was like-#'this is getting too real for me i gotta make fun of him immediately.''#idc WHAT yall think to ME that was such a thick layer of defense mechanism that even though reigen's guardianship speech wasnt directed#at Sho he still felt the intrinsic urge to shoot back because of what hes experienced with people who are SUPPOSED to be protecting him.#would yall believe me if i told you i am totally insane#there are SO MANY THINGS. woven into their interactions that really enhance it#its totally silly! yes! but also! it is a legitimate ARC of GROWTH within their relationship! we watch as Sho starts off#with no trust in the man at all (although for a pretty good reason)#and over time he realizes hes NOT total shitbag#of course this doesnt mean hes completely vulnerable with him. its easy to infer that his distrust in certain people is formed from#a lifetime of being let down and incapability of dependency on certain trusted adults. his defense must be so heavily built up#even after gaining some sort of trust from Shou Reigen will NOT be exempt from his impish defense mechanisms.#sho will not make himself emotionally available as he would then be open to being hurt by someone else he thought could trust#his 'carefree and prankish' behavior is the wall between himself and such an intense feeling of disappointment and hurt and loneliness#but i like to think hes also just silly. hehe#man that stage play huh. shoots every fatal drug directly into my bloodstream#shou's trust and father issues VS stupid conman who has the common sense to not let children be beat up by grown ass adults. who will win.#i mightve forgotten something but. i think this is pretty packed full already so i am pleased. thank you for reading <3#meowmeow art
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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It’s the fact that he didn’t have to be miserable.
All of his agonies about his weakness and monstrousness and lack of control was self-constructed, self-inflicted and he didn’t need to be miserable.
#fuck man if I could show it to 14 year old me#I might’ve had a wake up call much sooner#yukio is so interesting in the way his trauma is formed. he’s physically weak he’s a gifted kid and a perfectionist meant to be a protector#he has too much responsibility on his shoulders and he’s mourning and he can’t trust his stable-pillar (the true cross org)#his brother is working against him at everystep and he’s having a (high stakes) teen identity crisis#and he didn’t need to be miserable#he isolated himself thinking that to open up was to burden others and that those around him getting stronger made him weak#bc they no longer needed protection#it’s the realization that at a certain point he was the one making up these ideas of his inferiority and his unforgivablity#and god when it cracks it feels awful and freeing bc#it’s vulnerable-awfully so-and it’s overwhelming bc you are suddenly open to all the love you have felt cut off from#and it’s sad. bc again. you didn’t need to feel the way you did for so long#so seeing it played out. seeing him wake up in that moment of ‘I decided it was unforgivable and no one else feels that way’#and then seeing him sit down for a meal with ppl who know and love him through his mistakes#him deciding he wants to be able to forgive himself one day??#it’s so much to me.#yukio okumura they could never make me hate you#blue exorcist#my post#yukio okumura#ao no exorcist
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*lovingly tackles Aine*
Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first ♪( ´▽`)
Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ART—
*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, I’ll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3
#feedback#fan art#ainescribe#AIIINE ;-; once again. thank you so much!! it rlly means a lot to me that you enjoyed my writing and felt inspired to draw this :'>#and as someone who loves fashion and character design. it's so so interesting to analyze your version of savior#there's so much symbolism and visual storytelling in each sketch/ outfit and i shall now proceed to pick apart each detail as best as i can#her snezhnayan fit.....god i love it. it's regal. distinctively snezhnayan. and draws attention to her--and you just know that was pierro's#intention when he dressed her in those garments. IT'S JUST SO...!! savior's wardrobe scrubbed clean of her original culture and preferences#replaced with the foreign garments of her captor's nations.....in line with this. i love how her kokoshnik and khaenri'ahn earrings are big#and attention-grabbing. you can't look at her without taking note of those accessories. it begs the question:: how many times has savior#looked at the mirror after being dressed up in snezhnaya and was unable to recognize her own reflection?? :'>#also shoutout to some details aine shared with me: 1) the face marks are inspired by weeping angels 2) the kokoshnik was traditionally worn#by married noblewomen BUT the veil was normally for unmarried women so savior's outfit can be seen as a form of compliance + rebellion#(though later on in history it became accepted for married women to also wear that veil. also my apologies if what i said is inaccurate)#lastly shoutout to savior's expression!! very poised and mysterious....due to her emotional state or pierro's rules on how to act as his#spouse in public?? we'll never know~ the first drawing hits even harder when you compare it to the next one!! such an interesting contrast~#savior in her plain attire. casual and domestic with a smile on her face....i'm guessing this is her pre-fatui version?? she looks so warm#and friendly. and i can definitely understand why pierro fell for her smile <3#also i fucking love the caption. sorry pierro but you are cursed to be a loser/ simp/ pathetic man in all of my fics and AUs xD#NOW ONTO GODDESS! SAVIOR AAAHHHH!! i love the greek goddess motifs. she looks so regal and awe-inspiring but in a different way from her#snezhnayan attire--archaic. divine. and more suited to her personal style.....yet both versions of her look so painfully isolated :'>#her blank eyes. emotionless face. and veil give me the vibes of a spooky victorian ghost...or would a statue/ portrait be more fitting??#the lack of a necklace is also an interesting design choice given what happens in the fic. and now i realized i forgot to comment on your#version of her snezhnayan necklace oops. similar to the kokoshnik and earrings. the size + grandeur makes it impossible to ignore#that and big jewels = expensive af. ohhh and i love the sparkles on her veil!! pierro rlly spared no expense in dressing up his wifey <3#it's also funny how all of these outfits are similar to my own version in terms of 'savior wore grand clothing during her glory days as a#goddess -> wore simple attire after her decline for practicality and to blend in with humans/ disassociate from her old identity -> is now#dressed in even grander clothing as the harbinger's spouse. but it's used to reinforce her new identity and pierro's control over her'#tldr:: your design is so creative and i can see the effort you put in analyzing her character and depicting her based on your interpretatio#thank you for being my mutual + reader and i hope we can share even more harbinger/darling brainrot in the future :>
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Them (Miles Margo Gwen) all having issues with a social life is real nice. Gwen shutting herself off from other people and not learning some important social/people skills + Margo being in an online space nearly 24/7, her family issues, and her universe in general not really being an in-person place + Miles being a social butterfly who doesn’t actually form bonds with other kids easily at all. Gwen and Margo can probably bond over not using the right manners around certain people, or accidentally disrespecting someone else’s property, or a low impulse control when it comes to being with ACTUAL friends that you like and trust. Miles probably didn’t really think that he had a problem with his social life because yknow, switching schools changes that, and some people just aren’t people you hang with outside of school, but now that Gwen and Margo actually expect to hang out and call him, and he starts expecting the same and calling them, he’s realizing “ah i was missing this!!!!” they all make each other’s world go round each time they realize something they were doing wasn’t considered “normal”
#and i wanna say this too:#miles and margo being black and autistic means a lot bc growing up a lot of things were just expected of me bc i was black#’you ain’t black if you-‘ ‘you act so white-‘ and ‘every black child knows-‘ like omg. never felt more isolated from my own people#so to make margo and miles go through this is just really nice for me! what’s the word like it makes you feel better bc you got the feeling#out of your system for a while#anyway actual tags now#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#margo kess#spider byte#spiderbyte#gwen stacy#spidergwen#ghost spider#m&m posts
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working on a gifset and can i just say phia saban the ACTRESS THAT YOU ARE:
the sharp fucking turn when he's like wubuwbwu its a lieeee, the withering looks she gave him. it was excellent.
#tbd#anti helaemond#i guess sorry lol#full offence but i would just throw myself into the godseye if helaena looked at me like that#anyway listen the show is trash and yeah x sucks and y sucks but like i know she channelled all the energy for this one#l'm so bitter about like the lack of helaegon and even saltier bc tom and phia tried to get scenes#they fucked like the worst moment of these two chars lives and didn't even let them share in a loss that only the two of them could fathom#but man i felt it here she was channelling it here ok that's all i can say#it was sooooo you come onto my balcony after you tried to kill my husband and now u try to lie to meee????#will anything come of this? no because condom and hiss are trash but like i am sorryyyyy for enjoying this but i'm not#it's all nonsense but i'm willing to take my CRUMB!!!#but yeah like to be clear: it's frustrating that she's relegated to this no taste for flying shit and i hate it so much#genuinely a disgusting thing to throw in there for a char who canonically loved nothing more than flying on her fucking dragon#bc if they are so determined for her to not wanna burn people there is literally everything to gain and nothing to lose#by having her fly around on dreamfyre just as a show of strength or scouting or anything#and faux feminist sara piss i'll never forgive you for your gross writing#like fucking hate show clownmond so much but like yeah she is his only option i agree#but i'm just going to enjoy this in isolation bc it was so cathartic after rr and a*mond continued to torture a fucking bedridden aegon#and an entire season of his fam treating him like shit#hotd spoilers
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Everyone’s mad because His Man 3 popped the BL bubble
#his man 3#but actually#the show skipped out on its gay experiences jenga this season#and it felt as if everything had become so insular within the His Man reality show universe#and suddenly this last episode throws the pairings into the real world#and shows gay experiences#and some of that is heartbreaking#and some of it is sweet and empowering#and some choose not to show us their experiences at all#and all of those things are part of being gay outside of a bubble#where people have jobs#and time together is harder to come by#and you become aware of what kind of pda and communication ur comfortable with#honestly very moved by hanmin and yj being willing to film and share that moment#but it’s really compelling beside the shots of ms and mk walking around in crowds holding hands#because it reminds u of what an isolated environment the show takes place in#and what kind of pressures occur that make it hard to achieve the BL fantasy relationships#hanmin stated his intentions and reasoning so clearly#and it absolutely gutted yj but it also frees him#to find someone who’s a better match for the reality of his everyday life#which is clearly busier than most based on both hanmin and mk’s statements#idk it didn’t feel forced to me except for the filming aspect of it honestly#but 🤷🏻♀️#hanmin#youngjoon
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i was talking about this a bit with ramone, but y'all know how i mentioned that it's likely that blamore has one of those 'special containment' cells that villains like killer croc and man-bat in arkham have as well? wellll... i can guarantee y'all that on one of the rare occasions that that they have let it into a common room (because it's basically treated as if it's in unofficial solitary confinement in arkham a majority of the time unfortunately), blamore was SO desperate to get out of there because they put a power dampener on him and because arkham is just terrible in general, that he pulled out one of the plants growing in his ribs (which is considerably painful for it to do, by the way) to give to ivy.
and she of course proceeded to break them all out of there because she can turn even just a little plant into something capable of tearing the asylum apart so... yeah JSJSJ whenever blamore is desperate, it gets inventive, and that may be even more dangerous than when it has it's powers because at least you kind of know what to expect with them — but whenever it's robbed of them... it can become particularly nasty, let's just say that ☠️
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#MAN IS BOUND TO LIE ABOUT HIMSELF: headcanons.#yeah so... i think i've said this once before on here BUT blamore definitely doesn't like to be imprisoned and would likely-#decimate someone if it's captors and/or whoever may be holding him left it with it's powers so in arkham... they probably do-#take them away from him though that absolutely doesn't mean that he is powerless against them because the being still has it's tail as well#as it's mind (i mean not to brag but it does have a PhD LOL) sooo i could imagine that with how corrupt that place is they would probably-#do their best to keep him isolated from everyone else and only allow him to spend the most minimal time possible with other's-#though sometimes ALL blamore needs is a second to cause something that'll trigger a breakout like with ivy here and thus...#not to say that anyone here is underestimating it But i believe that some of the arkham staff have probably done so before-#though were shown the error of their ways only when it was too late bc blamore is. Well it is merciless JSJSJ i could also imagine him-#doing something like slowlyyy but surely making chips at that power dampening device they could put on basically any area of his body-#but his neck bc of his spines and then finally breaking it one day before all hell breaks loose so that's fun i suppose LMAOO
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thinking about fallout 4 against my will
#random thoughts#fallout#unfortunately nora compels me#the fact the 'hi honey!' tape specifically mentions her 'shaking the dust off' her law degree is interesting#like she gave up her job to stay at home with her husband and kid. why?#like that's a whole year. at LEAST.#love the idea of nate pressuring her into it <3 maternity leave turns into 'isnt it so nice being with sean around the clock?'#'too bad you won't have this quality time when you return to work'#turns into 'you can always return to work if you feel like it but we DO have a lot saved up . . .'#and it's like. okay so fallout 4 would be so much better if it were set in the 1960s. literally no reason it shouldnt be#yknow beyond complying with lore which. it isnt that faithful to in the first place#i just think it's weird the game is like 'here's the FUTURE' and then it's like 'here's the FUTURE FUTURE'#anyway make it the 1960s. give me time-appropriate fucked up family dynamics#and nora's a laywer and a feminist who promised herself she'd never compromise her career for a man#and nate seemed so NICE and like he understood until uh oh. frog in a slow cooker#and he makes everything seem like it's her idea until she's barefoot in the kitchen with a screaming baby on her hip and burnt food in a pan#and she doesn't even realize she's trapped until it's too late. isolated from friends and family#idk ill do more research later to make it more time-accurate (ESPECIALLY interested in second-wave feminism)#anyway i think she cheats. with a door-to-door salesman selling places in the bomb shelters#(honestly probably the only adult social interaction she's had in weeks beyond her husband)#i like to think at some point she had a bit of a car accident due to the stress so nate took her keys#probably just a minor fender bender he blew out of proportion but she believes it because oh god what if she hurt sean#her feelings toward sean are complicated. i dont think she quite loves him which she feels guilty about so she overcompensates#with trying to keep him as safe as possible and she feels like he KNOWS and HATES her#(honestly when the bombs drop everything happens so quickly and when she's in the future and registers sean's gone she feels. so relieved)#(followed by heavy shame)#nate sabotaged her birth control btw. love evil 1960s patriarchs#never outright stated but heavily implied!#anyway nora in the future (while she felt very progressive for her time) feels very out of place#like her ideals have no place. like she has no place
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girl (said about a 50yo woman), what she could POSSIBLY mean
#i think she might be having a bad time because she thinks she failed another young man she felt responsible for. just a thought#they are VERY badly suited for each other. i will bring the popcorn#r7#pic#i say all this but. i have the same emotional intelligence seven has (ie ZERO!!!)#what a life of isolating yourself does to you etc
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behind the scenes sneak peek into my brain, i have so many drafts now of my thoughts on hinata and loneliness and obsession and greed and adhd that all feel incoherent that i just have to fuckin, sit on it and write an essay one of these days, but in short
i dont think its explored how deeply lonely Hinata was before karasuno, how unseen and misunderstood he felt until he became rivals with kageyama
and OUGH its the way kageyama respects hinatas *greed* so much, cherishes it, even though at one point it scared him, its scared him but it pushed him to be more and he has his OWN greed that hinata relates to and wants to see flourish and they are both creatures of want and so they understand each other like no one else has understood them before and
how freeing is that? right??? this wasnt short i started rambling again augh but are u catching my drift are u seeing what i am seeing????????
#hinata shouyou#hq!!#look i have peer reviewed adhd#and i relate and maybe projecting onto Hinata rn#bc MAN my hyperfixations as a kid were OBSESSIVE#one time my brother said i wasnt even human bc all i talked about was [cherished media]#it hurt!! i felt isolated from a lotta ppl#bc i cared SO MUCH#about these things and i couldn't help talking about it#like it felt like bubbling over joy that i wanted to share but tpo u know? i didn't always get that#and that feels a Lot like how i read hinatas middle school volleyball#that make any sense??#conspiracy lvl: text
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okay so I know 7x04 is from Buck's POV, so the characters are a little off to reflect Buck's feelings and perceptions. But rewatching it today, why did it feel like Eddie was the only one that was vastly different from his normal self? To the point it was a little disorienting. Even some of the line delivery (like the trivia/babysitting thing) were not how Eddie typically delivers things. Like yeah I get that everyone is a little different in Buck's mind, but the more I watch it, the more I realize that Eddie's character shifts more as the episode goes on and Buck sinks deeper in his jealousy. And while the episode focused on Buck, Buck is focused on Eddie. So it felt like the obvious differences to his usual mannerisms were highlighted.
#eddie diaz#911 abc#just thinking thoughts#really though it was kinda wild how different eddie felt in this one compared to any other character#even the emergencies for this one kept the team pretty separated#ravi felt normal#chim felt normal#maddie felt normal#don't know that other guy yet#so can't say much about him#but eddie was just wild af the whole time#my favorite part was buck's face when that man rejected buck's offer to get his jeep and drive eddie#like sure you wanted that dude's attention or whatever#but you were also prettttty unhappy that he got to take your bestie to seek medical attention#meanwhile you were self isolating because you were sure your bestie hated you and you were too nervous to face his anger#which really was just your own anger at yourself you were projecting#we all know eddie thinks you do no wrong sir#literally#your first kiss with the man you were talking about maiming eddie#when eddie does not feel like you maimed him#we call that guilt
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I do keep thinking about how the end of gate game 3 somehow turned into being about BG1/2 for me and cackling. Let Jaheira do the High Hall speech because I hated the dialogue options and she dedicates the battle to Khalid. Fucked off from the city and went to Candlekeep. Spent the epilogue getting a list of Ismene's companions to visit. Most concrete plan Kas made for post game was begging Jaheira to let them travel with her, heavily implied to be joined by Minsc. All the other companions drift off and do their own thing and Kas just fucking. Sets right at recreating Ismene's party and fitting into the life she left for them. Truly BG3 is a game about getting me to appreciate BG1. What a time. And yes this IS part of why I think that it would be perfect for Ismene/clone Ismene to crash the party in the epilogue. We're building into this ouroboros thing anyway, it's high time the original death cheating Bhaalspawn hero(ine) herself showed up and ruined everyone's good time all over again.
#honestly the game would have felt less heavy on the bitterness bittersweet for me without the epilogue#because then it wouldn't be clear that all of Kas's companions besides Jaheira and Minsc had just fully disconnected to their own new lives#love and light to them I really actually adored the SH epilogue especially but man it's kinda wild how isolated it makes Kas feel#they gave up everything for the world burned down everything left of their life until it was nothing but scorchmarks in the history books#and then they're alone and alienated while everyone around them gets a happy hopeful ending#they're still struggling with asperia who can't adjust to a normal life without support#they don't know how to live. they have nothing but a stolen oath and that nagging need to continue to care for asperia to live for#brutal.#well. at least there's jaheira#and minsc#just funny that since kas didn't romance anyone and didn't go to hell none of the actual game's companions are there#it feels so cold#alienation was a big part of the durge experience for me so it's kinda thematically perfect#anyway ismene may as well fucking show herself for the reveal that she carefully and lovingly set up their life to collapse all along.#so sayeth emi
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kinda a cringefail post to make and its kinda just speaking to the void but um please choose kindness these like next few weeks i can already sorta tell that ive been spiraling and i kinda feel the bottom coming up soon
#idk man like ive just felt all my energy get sorta zapped the past little while and my motiovation to talk or create or do anything#its just kinda all been zapped from me and idk im doing my best not to self isolate but i dont really know what to talk about ever#ill try to post some oc and like dahlia art i think#love drawing dahlia#maybe luyu idk#im just tired
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