#and man it felt isolating
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melien · 5 months ago
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Eden: You sure it's not my fault?
Harper: No, Eden, no! It's just my own deeper feelings about myself. And I've always known it will be an inevitable part of getting older. It's more like... Well, the whole time I've been growing up, I always had to see all these romantic relationships, and all that comes with them. It was like the good was outweighing the bad, and it was an experience no one could miss out on. Our parents being a love story for the ages, our cousins dating around, and now you also have April. I'm really, really happy for you, don't get me wrong! But... for me it's different. For me, it was always enough to have you, our parents, and a few friends I've had. I felt fulfilled with you guys by my side. It was like my little comfort unit.
She sighed, looking particularly vulnerable. Eden was listening with intent. Harper often played a part of a caring older sister and didn't particularly open up about her own problems.
Harper: I know it's just who I am. I don't get all these romantic crushes or even casual sex. And I have always focused on my platonic, familial relationships the most, putting my all into them, but now I feel like it's unfair of me to expect this... loyalty of people. They're not like me. They will all have a special person sooner or later. Hell, that's all they talk about. And I can't even feel left out or anything, I don't have the right. I know I don't even want that type of thing. I'd feel bad about myself if I went against my wishes. But... it feels lonely sometimes. It feels like people like me... we're doomed, in some sort of way.
Eden: Harps... Man, I wish I could be there for you.
Harper: That's the thing... I know you don't have to. No one has to. But it stings sometimes, you know? That I won't have this one person, or that all my friends and family will just move on... Maybe it's about feeling special to someone. I mean, maybe it doesn't have to be romantic. I could find someone to just chill out with and share my interests with, to travel with and come up with the coolest outfit designs. But it feels... pretty much impossible. Everyone wants a love story nowadays.
Eden: I feel like there may be a lot of people like you out there. They're just not showing themselves. Or forcing themselves to live the life they despise.
Harper: It could be, dear. I don't want to be alone, you know?
Eden: You'll never be alone. I think of you daily. Even if things change, you're still my closest person in the world, and it will always remain so. But I'm sure you'll find your community as well.
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adustoflove · 5 months ago
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I always think well if I dated a man, I wouldn't feel as insane. I wouldn't feel so awful or jealous. And then I remember why I came to the conclusion that I'm a lesbian. I just wouldn't care if it were a man. I just can't bring myself to care about men like that 😔😩😭
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whentherewerebicycles · 2 months ago
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just met with a new student and he was the most Boy student i have ever worked with. obviously just fully immersed in the youtube and podcast manosphere but like... a kind of gentle version of it? just like, earnestly telling me about how if you just get your mind right money will flow to you regardless of what you do and talking about how you can't be a taker you have to also be a giver and a provider who is attuned to the people around you. god i have SO many thoughts. truly just a fascinating glimpse into A Boy's Search for the Meaning of Masculinity but in a way that i really empathized with?? i also think his girlfriend made him read brene brown because he went on a long tangent about the value of vulnerability and believing you are Enough as you are and being authentic to yourself instead of approaching others from a place of fear. it was all like jumbled new age + manosphere + therapyspeak mush but so earnestly expressed. idk man i think we gotta be gentler with college-age boys i think they have so much toxic sludge to wade through while also doing the very human teenage/early 20s thing of trying to figure out who they are slash what kind of person they want to be in the world.
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jessamine-rose · 7 months ago
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*lovingly tackles Aine*
Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first ♪( ´▽`)
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Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ART—
*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, I’ll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3
#feedback#fan art#pranabefall#AIIINE ;-; once again. thank you so much!! it rlly means a lot to me that you enjoyed my writing and felt inspired to draw this :'>#and as someone who loves fashion and character design. it's so so interesting to analyze your version of savior#there's so much symbolism and visual storytelling in each sketch/ outfit and i shall now proceed to pick apart each detail as best as i can#her snezhnayan fit.....god i love it. it's regal. distinctively snezhnayan. and draws attention to her--and you just know that was pierro's#intention when he dressed her in those garments. IT'S JUST SO...!! savior's wardrobe scrubbed clean of her original culture and preferences#replaced with the foreign garments of her captor's nations.....in line with this. i love how her kokoshnik and khaenri'ahn earrings are big#and attention-grabbing. you can't look at her without taking note of those accessories. it begs the question:: how many times has savior#looked at the mirror after being dressed up in snezhnaya and was unable to recognize her own reflection?? :'>#also shoutout to some details aine shared with me: 1) the face marks are inspired by weeping angels 2) the kokoshnik was traditionally worn#by married noblewomen BUT the veil was normally for unmarried women so savior's outfit can be seen as a form of compliance + rebellion#(though later on in history it became accepted for married women to also wear that veil. also my apologies if what i said is inaccurate)#lastly shoutout to savior's expression!! very poised and mysterious....due to her emotional state or pierro's rules on how to act as his#spouse in public?? we'll never know~ the first drawing hits even harder when you compare it to the next one!! such an interesting contrast~#savior in her plain attire. casual and domestic with a smile on her face....i'm guessing this is her pre-fatui version?? she looks so warm#and friendly. and i can definitely understand why pierro fell for her smile <3#also i fucking love the caption. sorry pierro but you are cursed to be a loser/ simp/ pathetic man in all of my fics and AUs xD#NOW ONTO GODDESS! SAVIOR AAAHHHH!! i love the greek goddess motifs. she looks so regal and awe-inspiring but in a different way from her#snezhnayan attire--archaic. divine. and more suited to her personal style.....yet both versions of her look so painfully isolated :'>#her blank eyes. emotionless face. and veil give me the vibes of a spooky victorian ghost...or would a statue/ portrait be more fitting??#the lack of a necklace is also an interesting design choice given what happens in the fic. and now i realized i forgot to comment on your#version of her snezhnayan necklace oops. similar to the kokoshnik and earrings. the size + grandeur makes it impossible to ignore#that and big jewels = expensive af. ohhh and i love the sparkles on her veil!! pierro rlly spared no expense in dressing up his wifey <3#it's also funny how all of these outfits are similar to my own version in terms of 'savior wore grand clothing during her glory days as a#goddess -> wore simple attire after her decline for practicality and to blend in with humans/ disassociate from her old identity -> is now#dressed in even grander clothing as the harbinger's spouse. but it's used to reinforce her new identity and pierro's control over her'#tldr:: your design is so creative and i can see the effort you put in analyzing her character and depicting her based on your interpretatio#thank you for being my mutual + reader and i hope we can share even more harbinger/darling brainrot in the future :>
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milimeters-morales · 2 years ago
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Them (Miles Margo Gwen) all having issues with a social life is real nice. Gwen shutting herself off from other people and not learning some important social/people skills + Margo being in an online space nearly 24/7, her family issues, and her universe in general not really being an in-person place + Miles being a social butterfly who doesn’t actually form bonds with other kids easily at all. Gwen and Margo can probably bond over not using the right manners around certain people, or accidentally disrespecting someone else’s property, or a low impulse control when it comes to being with ACTUAL friends that you like and trust. Miles probably didn’t really think that he had a problem with his social life because yknow, switching schools changes that, and some people just aren’t people you hang with outside of school, but now that Gwen and Margo actually expect to hang out and call him, and he starts expecting the same and calling them, he’s realizing “ah i was missing this!!!!” they all make each other’s world go round each time they realize something they were doing wasn’t considered “normal”
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maybe-boys-do-love · 8 months ago
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Everyone’s mad because His Man 3 popped the BL bubble
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lususnatura · 9 months ago
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i was talking about this a bit with ramone, but y'all know how i mentioned that it's likely that blamore has one of those 'special containment' cells that villains like killer croc and man-bat in arkham have as well? wellll... i can guarantee y'all that on one of the rare occasions that that they have let it into a common room (because it's basically treated as if it's in unofficial solitary confinement in arkham a majority of the time unfortunately), blamore was SO desperate to get out of there because they put a power dampener on him and because arkham is just terrible in general, that he pulled out one of the plants growing in his ribs (which is considerably painful for it to do, by the way) to give to ivy.
and she of course proceeded to break them all out of there because she can turn even just a little plant into something capable of tearing the asylum apart so... yeah JSJSJ whenever blamore is desperate, it gets inventive, and that may be even more dangerous than when it has it's powers because at least you kind of know what to expect with them — but whenever it's robbed of them... it can become particularly nasty, let's just say that ☠️
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freakurodani · 2 years ago
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behind the scenes sneak peek into my brain, i have so many drafts now of my thoughts on hinata and loneliness and obsession and greed and adhd that all feel incoherent that i just have to fuckin, sit on it and write an essay one of these days, but in short
i dont think its explored how deeply lonely Hinata was before karasuno, how unseen and misunderstood he felt until he became rivals with kageyama
and OUGH its the way kageyama respects hinatas *greed* so much, cherishes it, even though at one point it scared him, its scared him but it pushed him to be more and he has his OWN greed that hinata relates to and wants to see flourish and they are both creatures of want and so they understand each other like no one else has understood them before and
how freeing is that? right??? this wasnt short i started rambling again augh but are u catching my drift are u seeing what i am seeing????????
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connormoving · 4 months ago
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prev post literally since i was a child ive wanted to go to a super isolated spot where absolutely nobody else on the planet would hear me and just scream AS loud as i possibly could. partially for stress relief and partially bc i just want to know how loud i could scream if i wasnt worried abt freaking ppl
#bc like. I could drive* somewhere super isolated but What if there is a hiker. and then thats WAY scarier than hearing someone scream in a#spot w other ppl like if yr all alone and then hear an earpiercing scream While in the woods id find that scarier than being in town and#hearing a scream bc like yes Uhoh somebody screamed but at least yr aware there r other ppl around so its not as offguard#+like kids scream allllll the time for no reason at all. just bc its fun for them you know. i was so jealous when i was a kid bc all the#other kids could scream and scream and scream as loud as they could but i couldnt bc i was scared of getting in trouble. and now ive#squandered yhe time of my life where its socially acceptable to scream as loud as i could. Ughh#one of my recurring nightmares as a kid was that i was in a life or death situation like A killer or something and id try to scream and jus#nothing would come out like i could feel the air passing through my voicebox but no sound came out#not just screaming like. So many dreams where i just couldnt talk and everybody was mad at me bc i couldnt talk#scary stuff.#but ya. i think my only recourse is to learn how to man a boat solo and go out to the middle of the ocean and check radar to make sure#Nobody is close enough and then i can scream. but what if i piss off a whale or something#maybe a little room deep deep deep underground with like super super super thick walls and the door is sealed shut and its in the middle of#a remote forest on an impassable mountain. and then i can scream#just realized i forgot to finish that asterisk earlier you guys mustve felt rly abandoned im sorry. were you scared. its okay. connors here#* i cant drive
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snailsfall · 3 months ago
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I can’t sleep because I keep getting myself worked up over all the shitty things in my life and I can’t even talk about it to anyone because I have no one to talk like that with, but man my job is killing me and I’m on the verge of just giving up man
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eddiediazdefensesquad · 5 months ago
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okay so I know 7x04 is from Buck's POV, so the characters are a little off to reflect Buck's feelings and perceptions. But rewatching it today, why did it feel like Eddie was the only one that was vastly different from his normal self? To the point it was a little disorienting. Even some of the line delivery (like the trivia/babysitting thing) were not how Eddie typically delivers things. Like yeah I get that everyone is a little different in Buck's mind, but the more I watch it, the more I realize that Eddie's character shifts more as the episode goes on and Buck sinks deeper in his jealousy. And while the episode focused on Buck, Buck is focused on Eddie. So it felt like the obvious differences to his usual mannerisms were highlighted.
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diredeliverance · 5 months ago
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I do keep thinking about how the end of gate game 3 somehow turned into being about BG1/2 for me and cackling. Let Jaheira do the High Hall speech because I hated the dialogue options and she dedicates the battle to Khalid. Fucked off from the city and went to Candlekeep. Spent the epilogue getting a list of Ismene's companions to visit. Most concrete plan Kas made for post game was begging Jaheira to let them travel with her, heavily implied to be joined by Minsc. All the other companions drift off and do their own thing and Kas just fucking. Sets right at recreating Ismene's party and fitting into the life she left for them. Truly BG3 is a game about getting me to appreciate BG1. What a time. And yes this IS part of why I think that it would be perfect for Ismene/clone Ismene to crash the party in the epilogue. We're building into this ouroboros thing anyway, it's high time the original death cheating Bhaalspawn hero(ine) herself showed up and ruined everyone's good time all over again.
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deadinthelake · 6 months ago
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kinda a cringefail post to make and its kinda just speaking to the void but um please choose kindness these like next few weeks i can already sorta tell that ive been spiraling and i kinda feel the bottom coming up soon
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fiendishartist2 · 2 years ago
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the bar for "revolutionary" webhorror is so low. what happened
#god lord im so sick of itttttttt ToT#if you dont know analogue horror is on is deathbed and now ppl are onto ''digital horror''#which is the same thing except using digital mediums instead of analogue (like the internet instead of vhs)#and i do mean the same thing lol nothing has changed#not the conventions of storytelling not the limitations of the medium not the types of scares it presents#the only thing that has changed is the aesthetic. and that is unbelievably sad#if youre going to do a horror series based in the internet then why not.... actually use the medium of the internet for horror#theres so many scary things about the internet (esp early internet!!!!!) and yet no one is using that for their series#just the same old ''missing children's spirit communicating through tape oops i mean the website :)'' like cmon man.... :(#why not use things like viruses or the sudden connection to any and everyone through the internet or early hoaxes/creepy ads#lack of regulation on the early internet or the isolating/uncanny aesthetics of old hardware (kid me was so scared of computers lol)#or literally anything else that is DIRECTLY CONNECTED TO THE MEDIUM YOUR SERIES IS BASED ON#does anyone else on earth care about this or am i just picky??? hello???#i just want smth that leaves a genuine impact. i just want a series that feels like smth thats never been done before#i just want webhorror that knows what it wants to be and fits neatly into the confines of its medium#petscop felt like a real videogame. it felt like smth i could see in an ''obscure ps1 games youve never heard about!!'' video#it had a will they wont they about whether or not the game was actually talking to paul (through ghosts or other users etc)#but it was never in your face and it was left just vague enough that instead of breaking immersion it sucked you in even more#paul felt like a real person playing a real game and experiencing genuine fear and obsession alongside the audience#there was never a point where the screen started turning red and pauls voice became distorted and ''scary'' while creepy imagery popped up#bc petscop works entirely within the limitations of a man playing a videogame. no more no less#thats the kind of dedication to the medium that i want!!!!!!#i only critique webhorror so much bc its my favourite type of horror and i want it to improve
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odysseys-blood · 10 months ago
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No, like. The way Fourth Wall is implemented is genius! Like, Kim Dokja assumes that he can use Fourth Wall just cuz he is a reader and therefore there will always be a separation between him and the story but NO he was already in a Fourth Wall, he was already just a spectator of life, he was already separating himself from life!
i started looking back to where dokja started actually talking to the wall himself and seeing these again
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like bro its u. in one way or another its you and your thoughts youre just so used to spectating even yourself and not feeling like a real person that even your own thoughts in your own head feel othered as if its a completely separate entity!
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like no wonder it get shaky whenever you talk to your mother you're scared and upset and rattled being around her!
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arcadequeerz · 10 months ago
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8 more days till start of Pride Month YIPPEE
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