#and making people smile

[pluck-heartstrings]

There’s a bunch of artists that I wish were participating in artfight because I desperately want to draw fanart for them but then I fully remembered I could just??? Do that?? I don’t have to do it in artfight??? My competitive spirit literally just erased some of my common sense lol

It’ll have to wait until after July tho 😈

[beebfreeb]

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[spidertroupeart]

This is. The worst. Happy pride month you filthy animals

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[metanarrates]

ACHIEVEMENT GET: MUTUAL IS NOW READING/WATCHING THE THING I RECOMMENDED TO THEM

[kagoutiss]

pelican town, ‘72

[cosmignon]

I love the Long Quiet and I drew him with a little beak just to ensure you understood He Is Bird

but now the Pristine Cut has truly opened my eyes

He can be a horrible horse mouth beak freak... I love him.

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

wear headphones :)

Transcript:

As much as I'd love to witness more of your prowess, I'd very much like to have that body of yours.

Is that a strap-on?

Machine, I'll cover you in more than blood.

Fuck. *exhale* Shit. Fuck-God! mmmm-ohohoho. fuck. fuck. h-Harder, Machine. Mph! *whimper* Hah... Come on!

End transcription

Sorry for this. I promise this is the worst thing I'll ever post. Unless he somehow manages to do something worse.

I can't really provide the audio sources in a neat way because this is 6 clips stuck together.

[catmask]

would love to be a cool stoic guy. unfortunately i never shut up

[rocketbirdie]

we got a lot in common...

[stil-lindigo]

a non-comprehensive guide to my favourite characters in claymore, the best manga you've never read (more under the cut)

don't know what I'm talking about? here's a crashcourse.

[kimtaegis]

three superheroes, anpanman! for @sopekooks ♡

cr. jung-koook

[soup-of-the-daisies]

i know we as a species (tomarrymort fandom) are largely over the whole “snakemort’s face is a deterrent for hogwarts age tom riddle because he’s horrified he’s ugly” thing because we all think snakemort is hot BUT you’ve got to admit that tom coming out of the pensieve gasping crying throwing up etc going “WHERE’S MY NOSE” is intrinsically funny. like when it’s not the whole chalky lipless white dementor thing in general that he’s so upset about, it’s the fact that he’ll lose his nose. in these fics the kid basically makes a living off sticking said nose in other people’s (harry’s) business and then he loses it, like a loser who loses all the time. like yeah tom where did your nose go? did harry hex it off after you got too nosy? should’ve kept your sniffer out of harms way, huh? you fucking douchenozzle

[myreitha]

More gold painted things - this time some shoes a friend asked me if I could jazz up for him :)

As usual, the paint is Jacquard Lumiere Metallic paint in the color 552 Bright Gold!

Image description in alt (If it's best to do an ID in text here too, please let me know!)

[stormlight-drafter]

I am BEGGING the BG3 fandom to acknowledge that the story is specifically set up so that the player always makes the “right” decision.

Trust The Emperor? He does exactly as he says, treats you as a friend, helps you kill The Netherbrain, and floats off into the sunset without ever once betraying you. Don’t trust The Emperor? He taunts you, says he always thought of you as a puppet, shows you how evil he is and fights against you in the final battle.

Help Astarion ascend, Gale become a god, and Shadowheart become a Dark Justiciar? They say thank you, this is what I always wanted, I’m very happy. Keep Astarion a spawn, Gale mortal, and make Shadowheart a Selunite? They say thank you, this is what I really wanted, I’m very happy.

The characters aren’t real people. They’re plot devices to ensure that the player always gets a satisfying conclusion to following the plot and side quests to their completion. I’m so tired of the same arguments over and over where people use evidence from Choice A to explain why Choice B is bad and invalid.