#and make or remake tentative friendships?

[cowboyfromh3ll]

Now it's a request (a bad one I guess?)

Charles Smith x gn!reader (or whatever gender you'd like)

Reader being someone very shy who spends a lot of time with Charles (learning to make arrows, hunting or just being around each other) but is embarrassed to ask him out until he decides it's time to try

(Sorry, this is a really bad request, creativity isn't my strong suit)

Flint and Cedar

(Charles Smith x GN!Reader)

No request is a bad request

Warnings: none

In the summertime, when the sun was high in the sky, various members of the gang would occupy themselves with jobs. Not that it ever stopped in the colder months, it was just much more bearable now. Train and bank robberies, sniffing for leads like Dutch’s hounds, bounty hunting, homestead robbing, anything that would bring the gang money. Yet you took a much more domestic approach. You preferred staying at camp, yet seldom integrated yourself with the camp girls. You did not seek the company of Kieran, Uncle, Reverend, or any of the other homebodies (Not to say that they didn’t try to occasionally speak to you). You would on occasion engage in conversation with the others, but it was evasive and short-lived.

Instead, you found your company in knapping away at stones, striking rocks at one another and using the compression to angle and shape the points of arrows. You would sew day after day, endlessly, ripping apart old shirts, skirts, dresses, and trousers to remake them into new clothes. You’d learned to can every fruit you could scourge. You'd raise and feed chickens, carry around sacks of food, and of course, hunt. This was your company.

And of course, Charles Smith, who taught you most everything you know.

Charles did not force you to talk, he did not demand a conversation, nor did he immediately expect you to have a heart-to-heart with him about why you were so withdrawn, if at all (As others usually badgered you about.). Charles himself was a reserved and quiet man, he kept to his own devices, he did not put up a facade, and he was good company all the same. And in your friendship, he was usually the first one to say anything.

Your first actual interaction consisted of you staring off from where you sat by your tent, looking curiously at what Charles was doing. You watched him repeat the same pattern of percussion and striking in order to form the flint in his hand. His strong hands held the stones, and you watched as the muscles and tendons in his arms and hands tensed as he struck the stones. You hadn’t been aware of how far forward you were leaning until the jagged edge of the box you were sitting on began to poke into your thigh. He noticed your engrossment in what he was doing, but did not think it was silly.

“I’m making arrows, why don’t you come on over. I’ll teach you.” He set what he was doing down and motioned for you to come over, patting the crate next to him. Your back straightened in surprise of being noticed, and you became hyper aware of your every moment as self consciousness invaded your mind. You looked around then back at him before pointing at yourself.

Charles couldn’t help but laugh, which made you visibly blush out of embarrassment.

“Yes, you, don’t be shy.”

Charles did not know that asking that of you was like asking Sean to actually do a job around camp. You softly set down your fabrics and needles, giving them a pat before walking on over to Charles. There was hesitation in the way you sat down, still second guessing whether or not he was actually talking to you. He handed you a flintstone tenderly, a gentleness in his hands that you found oddly comforting. You studied the stone in your hand, noticing one end of it was already jagged and sharp. Before long, he handed you another stone, a different type of stone.

“Here, you’re supposed to hold the flint while striking it with the other stone. But you gotta make sure you angle it right so it gets a nice pointed end.” He explained. He reached for one of the arrow heads and held it up for you to see. “See? It’ll take a bit but you’ve just got to have patience.”

You nodded in understanding, leaning over your own lap as you attempted to chip away at the flint. As chips of it began flying all over your trousers, frustration was evident in your face. You struck it particularly hard, subsequently splitting the stone in half. You sighed, your entire face burning in embarrassment and you wished the earth would open up beneath you and swallow you.

“Sorry..” You muttered. Charles shook his head, but it was not out of disapproval. He cupped his hands beneath yours, allowing you to deposit the stones into his. His hands dwarfed yours, and you could not help but blush from it, deepening the red on your face. The entire time he taught you, not once did you feel patronized by him.

“No worries, we can try again.”

Since then, you began to spend more and more time with Charles. Being around him, you had never felt more understood. It was as if your innermost thoughts and feelings that you believed no one else could commiserate or understand were part of some shared quota between you and Charles. At first, a part of you felt intimately invaded and you shied away, another part of you welcomed the intrusion into your personal life. Yet it never felt like an intrusion.

You soon began sharing the same smoothness in your hands as Charles from handling the stones. And the fondness in your heart for him began to grow as well, yet you could not ever imagine telling him how you feel. The conversations you two shared would increase in intimacy, as you two began to share more and more details of your lives with one another. You learned about his past, and through that, he was able to share many more of the things he learned with you. He taught you to make all kinds of arrows, how to poison knives, how to make bait. And your favorite, he took you on hunting trips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charles watched you draw the string of the bow back, your arm trembling from the prolonged force as you attempted to steady yourself and aim at your target's head.

“Steady now.” He whispered behind you. But you swore you could feel his breath on your ear, his hands ghosting around your waist as he attempted to get a good look at the animal for you. You choked on air as you lost concentration, his proximity sending riveting shivers up your spine. You released the arrow involuntarily, partially from surprise and the other from exhaustion, and sent your arrow head spearing into a cedar tree instead of the head of the rabbit you intended to kill.

“Gosh! Charles!” You turned your head away, blushing.

“I’m sorry, perhaps I was being overbearing.” He apologized. You shook your head in response, attempting to hide your blush.

“You were a little close is all..” You mumbled. You set your bow down against the tree and slumped against it. “It’s been I don’t know how long and I haven’t been able to catch anything..” You sighed shamefully. You were usually decent at hunting. Probably not as good as Charles, but decent. You never felt a sense of inferiority before, yet lately you did feel an urge to impress him. There was never an underlying tone of competition between you, but there was this thought you had in your head that it had to be enough for him. No matter what you did.

He kneeled down to your level and shook his head.

“(Name), it’s okay. If you don’t catch anything today we can always try again tomorrow.” He gave you a reassuring smile and a nod, one you were barely able to return. He patted your shoulder and gave it a squeeze, letting his hand linger and drift down your arm slightly as he retracted it. A small, easy to miss gesture, but one you promptly picked up on.

Unbeknownst to anyone else, you fancied Charles. It’s not like you ever spoke to anyone around camp about things beyond surface level. You definitely didn’t tell Charles these feelings, and you didn’t have family to write to. So for the first time in a long time, you felt alone with your feelings. And you hated that. Ever since Charles lended you his company you never felt alone. You shared everything with him after all, and to be unable to do so made you feel frustrated and boxed in.

Charles chuckled to himself. “You have that look on your face.”

“What face?” You asked in confusion, perhaps sounding a little harsh. Yet he took no offense.

“When you’re frustrated, you make a face. You scrunch up your nose and eyebrows.” He sat down next to you as you spoke. Your face softened when you realized he was right, the tension in your face evaporating. You looked at each other with a shared warmheartedness as a moment of silence befell you both. That look said all the things you two did not say to each other, and despite that shared yet subtle understanding of tenderness in your feelings for one another, you two remained oblivious to it.

“You’ve been real worked up lately.” He began. He reached into his satchel and undid a cloth containing jerky. He offered the jerky out to you and waited for you to pick a piece. You took a piece, timidly chewing on a corner of the tough meat, not quite biting anything off. You struggled to even look Charles in the eyes anymore.

“A little… I don't know why.” You said briefly. It was fleeting, hasty, and all the things that signified to Charles that you didn’t want to talk about something. Normally he would wait for you to actually warm up to him and tell him on your own terms, but this felt different. Like he had to do something.

Another moment of silence befell you both, the serene yet lively noises of the wood providing you two company. It felt more awkward this time though, the air taut and heavy. The both of you shifted around a little, and in the moments you glanced at Charles you noticed him looking around in thought, opening his mouth slightly to try and start some sort of sentence. You became even more aware of the space you took up, and your heart rate picked up when you realized your leg was touching his. Yet neither of you moved away. Neither of you wanted to move away.

“Say, (Name),” He began, fiddling with the piece of jerky in his lap now. “Do you want to uh, go into Saint Denis with me sometime?”

You looked up in confusion. To your knowledge, Saint Denis was heavily industrialized and far east. And both you and Charles spent your time working outside. So what usefulness could you possibly find there.

“For what?” You asked bluntly in your obliviousness. “Do you need something? Why can’t we go into Valentine? It’s super close to camp, y'know.”

Charles swore he could facepalm, but he made an effort not to, he didn’t want to make you feel stupid for not understanding his proposition.

“I meant, we could do something special.” His voice faltered a little at the end and he cleared his throat. You swore you could see a hint of blush on his cheeks. It took you a moment to realize what he actually meant, but when you did, a timid smile made its way onto your face.

“Oh.” You giggled, looking off again. You suddenly felt jittery as you hugged your knees up to your chest. You dared to look back at him, the two of you looking absolutely smitten, pure adoration written all over your faces.

You knew Charles. And he knew you. And that wasn’t something you could say about anyone else.

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I feel like I really amped up the subtlety in romance in this one and I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted ToT I thought it'd be more fitting since both reader and Charles are more reserved and scared to be too direct.

[majorbaby]

I followed for Mash but I think your posts about feminism and mysogyny are interesting and I think you would be a good person to ask if there's some way you think the show could have done a better job with Margaret?

She develops as a character and I like that idk I just want to know if there's something you think they missed.

see, my thing with Margaret is that I love and appreciate that they gave her a varied arc, and that's what I like about her "development" not the fact that she developed into what I personally imagine is a "good person" and in fact it's a pet peeve of mine when "three dimensional" is shorthand for "guy i would hang out with irl"

because she can never really be that for me. she's a cop and she's senior management. no matter how you spin it, the military is important to her, and she has a long way to go before she'd be someone i would personally like.

luckily we don't have to want to hang out with characters irl in order to love them as characters.

anyway, subtle misogyny:

as much as I love to call Margaret Hawkeye's best friend, she can never be Hawkeye's best friend because that role will always go to a man. this despite the fact that she's occasionally a better friend to Hawkeye than BJ is, and Hawkeye shares some core values with her that he doesn't share with BJ. all I can say for Trapper vs. Margaret is that Margaret's around when Trapper isn't, but that's hardly a virtue or a flaw respectively.

still, in GFA, when Hawkeye is lamenting how both Trapper and BJ left him, Margaret is still there, supporting him. this isn't something that the show can take note of, because there are a limited number of roles available to Margaret and Hawkeye's best friend, his most important person, cannot be one of them unless she's a love interest - there's your misogyny. there's an experience that's denied to her on the basis of her being a woman. She could be a pacifist before she could be BJ or Trapper.

there's some practical reasons for this I guess, like it makes sense for Hawkeye's bestie to be played by a man so they can share a tent, or for his bestie to be a doctor so they can be seen in surgery together. but the persistence of the boy-girl bffs to lovers trope to this day is discouraging. let's not speak a MASH remake into existence, but if there were such a thing, i'd eat my hat if Hawkeye had a fully platonic best-friendship with a woman deuteragonist.

[hermiones-amortentia]

I won’t even do this anonymously i stg.

I follow you on Instagram and I know this isn’t an ask but I just gotta get it off my chest:

We need a romione shipper to script the Harry Potter remake. Like, y’all are the most borderline annoyingly passionate part of the fandom, but the biggest deal is that you all understand Hermione and Ron. (Both of which were completely ruined in the films)

Generally, romione shippers also have a good deal of respect/correct understanding of Harry, Ginny, Snape, Dumbledore, Draco, etc as characters, so that’s unlikely to get fucked up.

Praying for a romione shipper to get hired to depict these characters the way they were supposed to be depicted.

Fuck it, here’s my crack at it from a discord convo a while ago.:

Now imagine if the music was playing in the tent, Ron is back after the locket has been destroyed. Hermione is sitting in the chair sulking and Ron switches from the death watch’s radio to a song on the wireless.

The camera is focused on Hermione. A freckled hand enters the frame and her eyes dart to it before looking up, off screen. She hesitantly reaches forward, still frowning, and the camera pulls back, and we see it’s Ron, pulling her up (and figuratively out of her negativity)

Hermione’s stone-faced expression remains, but Ron’s is soft. His eyes are on her. He’s sorry, but he doesn’t know how to say it properly, not after his first botched attempt.

He starts shuffling awkwardly, swinging back and forth because he sure as hell doesn’t know how to dance.

The camera keeps them centred. Hermione on the left, and Ron on the right. It looks like the room is turning around them. They’re the focus.

“I know Krum was probably better at this than me,” Rom starts, and Hermione makes to pull her hand out of his grip, but Ron tightens his hold. Not aggressive, he’s serious. It forces her to look at him, and the room isn’t spinning anymore.

“But I don’t care,”

Hermione let’s Ron continue to dance with her, and slowly, the cold expression softens somewhat as she understands just how immature they all are.

She smiles, and the music gets louder. It’s all we hear now, and now the camera is turning around them as she joins the dance. Not following anymore but leading with Ron. Multiple cuts throughout their dance as they laugh and joke around. Then, the camera turns away from the dance, and we see Harry sitting at the kitchen table, smiling at his two friends, the sword of Gryffindor lying on the table next to the marauders map.

(The lighting when Hermione is pulled out of the chair changes completely. There’s more colour in the shot when Ron is there. ++ saturation. How about get a filmmaker who actually uses all the tools of the craft at his disposal, and not David fucking Yates and Steve “The Fucktard” Kloves)

The camera moves across the floor towards Harry, and as it is about to reach his head he turns his attention from Ron and Hermione to the map on the table.

His expression saddens, and the camera follows his attention to the map, where we see Ginny’s dot.

PLEASE, Warner Bros, I beg of you.

Also, (though i know your opinion on them has soured) I fucking adore Ron and Harry’s friendship, and I love how they’re blokey blokes. We NEED that represented ASAP.

I love love love that ficlet omg😭❤

[longislandcharm]

TIMING: Three years ago PARTIES: Winter @longislandcharm & Mack @realmackross LOCATION: A bookstore in L.A. SUMMARY: Being a fan of Winter's show, Mack Ross comes to an appearance she was making to promote the second season. A good time is had and a tentative friendship is formed. CONTENT WARNINGS: Mentions of death

Mackenzie could remember the exact day the remake of Spirit Speak aired on television. She had been a fan of the original show and would watch it with her grandmother. Unfortunately, her grandmother had long since passed and Mack would be delving into this show alone. But that was okay, because if it was one thing the show had taught her, it was to believe in the impossible. So of course, when Mackenzie heard Winter Cahya, the star of the show, was going to be doing a meet and greet right down the road from her house, she had to go.

“Yeah, the line’s almost died down. I don’t want to go in until there’s nobody there.” Her phone was pressed up to her ear as she lingered in a black Mini Cooper just outside watching through the window. She had felt like a complete creeper, but she knew if she had approached the woman with a full store it would have taken attention away from Winter, and that was the last thing Mackenzie had wanted.

When the last person walked out and the store owner was just about to flip off the open light, Mack shut off the engine, “Hey, she’s finished. Yeah, yeah. Love you too, Babe. Bye.” Hopping out of her car and thankfully masked by a hoodie, sunglasses, and the sun going down, she caught the man’s attention, “I know you guys are closing, but would it be okay if I just said hi to Winter before she goes?” Immediately seeing recognition of who she was on the store owner’s face, she thanked him gracefully as she slipped inside. Just like her fans often felt around her, Mackenzie could feel a bit of nervousness bubbling up in her gut. She had followed the Cahya family for so long, and despite them living in the same area for part of the year, the young actress had never gotten the opportunity to meet the medium, “Uh, hey. I know this is, like, totally last minute and unprofessional, but I just wanted to tell you I’m a huge fan of the show. And of the original. My grandma and I used to watch it together, and I know she’d be right here fangirling with me, if she were still alive.” The sunglasses and hoodie remained on, Mackenzie forgetting to take them off from having butterflies in her stomach.

That sacred time that Winter got after a meet greet was already starting to work its magic. After spending hours throwing fake smiles all over the place and pretending to listen to these people’s long winded stories, the girl loved nothing more than winding down with a nice social media scroll as the people around her started to pack up all of the equipment that was lugged around these national tours. Tik Tok was her favorite, the wireless earbuds in her ears currently blasting the music for these nerds dancing around and epicly failing while she giggled to herself softly. It wasn’t until she heard a loud crash sound behind her that she took one of the earbuds out and shot a glare at the crew. “Those things are expensive, you know. Might want to check on those butterfingers before you get a little dip in your paycheck.” 

She watched the guy nod and go back to his work, Winter noting how careful he was being now and feeling satisfied. The music was still blasting in her right ear making it hard to hear whoever had just walked up on her but she’d caught the tail end of the comment as she looked up at the girl standing in front of her. “The meet and greet ended thirty minutes ago. They weren’t supposed to let anyone else in.” Did she mean to be rude? Never to a fan, no they were her livelihood, but her wind down time was precious to her and she was just ready to get out of this dinky little store. But as she started to raise her hand to put her left ear bud back in, her eye finally took in the person standing there a little more and recognition started to spark. 

“Mackenzie Ross?” There was no way this was the Mackenzie Ross, right? Her eyebrows shot up as recognition of her own mistake started to set in. Shit, she was supposed to be nice to her peers, right? Standing so that she didn’t seem even more disrespectful, Winter pulled out the other earbud and put both of them back in their charging case, instantly plastering a smile on her lips. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch what you said there. These earbuds are noise canceling. Did you say you were a fan?” Imagine…the star of Dropped, a fan of a lowly reality star. Well, the reality star of reality stars but still. Praise from someone with her status was always nice to hear and she wouldn’t mind hearing it again. 

The reply wasn’t really what she had expected. In fact, it was kind of rude, but at the same time Mackenzie knew how it was doing press junkets and fan meet and greets. It was tiring, especially when you had to plaster your best smile on for hours at a time. She couldn’t fault the woman for dropping the exact same act, she had been way too familiar with herself, “Sorry about that. I just knew if I came in any sooner, it would’ve caused problems.” She was about to further elaborate, until Winter recognized her. “Yeah?” Suddenly realizing her hood and sunglasses were still on, she took them off, “Uh, I was just saying that me and my grandma used to watch the original Spirit Speak when I was little, and that she would’ve been right here beside me today, if she had still been…alive.” Her praise had lost its momentum slightly, but she was still excited to be talking to Winter.

Stuffing her sunglasses in her pocket, she nervously played with them as the conversation continued, “So how’s things been going with the show? I’ve seen previews for this season, and it looks like it’s gonna be pretty good.” Whether or not Mackenzie really believed that Winter could talk to spirits was still up for debate, but she had to admit, the girl did have an ‘it’ factor that made her fascinating to watch. “Especially the one where you communicate with the father of that musician.” She had hoped it was okay to at least have a small conversation knowing that everyone was trying to pack up and get out. Mackenzie wouldn’t hold the reality start back for long, but it was a rare chance she had gotten a little one-on-one time without someone pestering her for a photo or autograph.

“Problems?” She paused, eyebrows raised once more, until she realized what Mack had meant. Of course, Winter hadn’t really had that issue before. Sure she was recognized when she was out and about but she was sure the other girl couldn’t even pee without a swarm of people trying to talk to her. “Right, yea. I’m sure you’re not even allowed to walk down the street without a ton of people following you around. I get that on a…way smaller scale. But people can be pretty insane.” 

It was the mention of Mackenzie’s grandmother that had Winter pressing her lips together as she didn’t know what to say. Grandmother’s were precious, she had deeply loved her own maternal grandma and all the stories that were passed down from her, so she understood what a bonding moment meant and how much it could hurt if it was somehow ruined. Clearing her throat, she nodded at Mack before giving her a rare genuine smile. “It’s really nice to hear that the show could bring you and your grandmother closer. I’m sorry I couldn’t meet her. Are you…are you like, wanting a reading or something?” She frowned as that thought struck her. It would be just her luck that a major tv star would track her down to ask to speak to a dead relative. She would have to turn her down, of course. Couldn’t have millions of people tune in just for Mack’s episode only to see no evidence that her grandmother’s spirit was there. Or worse…Mack could publicly call her a fraud and she could not have that. Winter would be ruined. 

But seeing that the girl seemed to just want to talk had Winter relaxing. Her smile returned and she gestured for Mack to take a seat in one of the chairs that hadn’t been packed up yet. Once someone got her talking about the show it could take a while before she stopped. “Season two is definitely going to be a good one. The first season surprised us with the ratings for sure but this one…I wouldn’t be surprised if it beat out Dropped.” Winter playfully said the words, making sure to nudge Mack’s shoulder lightly so the blonde understood that she was kidding. “Oh, yea, that was a good one. His father was very open that day. I think he’d been trying to communicate for a while.” Resisting the urge to roll her eyes at her own words, she took a seat next to the chair that she’d gestured to and leaned back, looking completely relaxed as she spewed her lies. This came so naturally now that it should have been a crime. “How’s your show going? Last season’s cliffhanger had me on the edge of my seat. You should tell the writers to give us a break now and then or they’re going to give some fans a heart attack.”

She watched the change in Winter’s face as she realized what Mackenzie had meant. Had she talked to the Spirit Speak star a few years back, it would have been a different story. But ever since the popularity of Dropped had risen, so had Mackenzie’s level of fame. It was like she had become an overnight success, even though she had been working in the business for years. But that’s usually how it went, and while it had been both exciting, it had taken quite a bit of adjusting and rearranging her life to accommodate the way it had affected everything, “Yeah, I mean it's not Taylor Swift level, but it’s pretty ridiculous. And kind of inconvenient, especially when I just want to hangout with my friends or go eat or something.” Fame wasn’t always what it was cracked up to be.

Mackenzie was glad to be talking about something else, even if that was her dead grandmother. She had loved the woman dearly, and she had been there every step of the way. If Mackenzie was having a really hard time with something, the woman had been there. Losing her had been one of the hardest days of her life. But little did she know, flash forward a couple of years and things would get a whole lot worse. “Yeah, and it’s okay. I like to think she’s here with us right now, probably fangirling her little heart out.” Mack laughed softly at the thought of her being with them and how she probably would have talked Winter’s head off. “Huh? Oh, no. That’s not really what I came here for. I just heard you were going to be here, and I wanted to see if I could drop by and meet you, before you left. I live right down the street with my boyfriend.” Mackenzie worked in the television and film industry. She was pretty good at spotting special fx and CGI. Plus, unlike her grandmother, she had always been a little skeptical about ghosts and if they were real or not. It was mostly seeing the closure and relief people had from the way Winter talked to them that Mackenzie had loved.

With the gesture from Winter, Mackenzie took a seat. She hadn’t expected their conversation to actually last long, but she was excited. She didn’t have anywhere she had to be for once in her busy life, so getting to experience this was going to be something to remember. Listening intently as the other woman spoke, a smile spread across her face followed by a soft chuckle with the joke about Spirit Speak beating out Dropped in the ratings. The nudge caught her off guard slightly, but she knew it was all in good fun. She continued to listen as Winter explained the situation with the musician and his father suspending her disbelief, “You know I think it was just the closure that he got from knowing that his father was okay. It was like he was able to move on after that. I think that’s what I love most about your show.” She nodded in agreement to what she was speaking, until Winter brought up Dropped. “We had our first table read the other day for the new season. I think you’re going to like the first episode. I can't give away any spoilers, but I can say you do get answers to some of the questions that left everybody so confused last season.” A sly grin came over her face. “But yeah, I’ll be sure to tell them that heart attack inducing cliffhangers aren’t what’s best for our ratings.” She laughed softly. “So are you in town much longer or heading out soon?”

“Nobody is on TayTay’s level, trust that.” Winter had seen the levels that Taylor Swift's fans would go and as much as she herself would have loved more status in the world of Hollywood she knew Taylor could not be matched. The girl was stalked relentlessly. The reality star briefly wondered how bad it was for Mack and if she even wanted anything close to that and then came to the conclusion that yes, she wanted something more than what she had. But that wasn’t important, not right now anyway. “Can you even go to a restaurant without worrying about it or do you have to like shut the place down or something? Not gonna lie, being the only table in a dining establishment doesn’t sound half bad to me. Filing that idea away for later.” She gave Mack a confident nod, not even sure if the other girl had done it or not. 

A soft laugh escaped Winter at the idea of Mackenzie’s grandmother floating around somewhere around them trying to get her attention. If only she really could talk to the dead, it would have been a nice little chat she was sure. Glad that Mack didn’t want an attempt at that conversation, Winter let out a small breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding onto. “I’m sure she would have been highly entertaining to speak with. But I’m not going to lie, a break now again is good for me. It’s a little overwhelming at times.” And that was nothing but truth. Even if she wasn’t in touch with the spirits of people’s loved ones, the lies she had to rattle off and the act she had to put on could really put her in a weird mental headspace. She needed breaks now and again. Something caught her attention though, her interest peaked. “You live down the street…with Brody, right? That’s his name?”

It was Mack speaking about how she connected with Winter’s show that had her smiling softly once more. The relief on people’s faces when they started to believe, the hope they held onto as they went through their conversation, and the complete and utter joy at hearing things were going to be okay was always a rollercoaster. She saw it in almost every client she helped and knowing she was the one bringing that closure to their lives did make the lies that much easier and she didn’t feel bad for it in the least. “Honestly? I think that’s why I fell in love with it when I was a kid. Watching my mom take people through that was a complete spiritual journey in itself.” But she also liked the fame that came with it. That was cool too. 

Her eyes narrowed in a joking glare, her smile still ever present as she took in the very little information Mack was alluding to. She really did enjoy Dropped and the show was hard to watch at times when they kept leaving you with more questions than answers. Could she get anything out of her new friend? “Ohhhh, bitch.” The tone matched her look, Winter not even worried she was going to offend Mack. It was just how she spoke to people she wasn’t hiding everything from. Maybe it was a connection she felt since they both seemed to know what the other was going through or maybe she was just too tired to raise all of her walls but either way she felt comfortable with Mack. “You are completely loving this torture, aren’t you? Is that really all you’re going to give me? Forget the writers, you’re the biggest tease of them all, aren’t you?”

Even though Mackenzie loved her life, she had never thought or imagined she’d have the level of fame that Dropped had already brought into her life. Sure, she had a following from her other shows and movies from over the years, but this was so much different. However, Taylor Swift level? She never wanted that life. Her life had already been dangerous enough, but the idea of being so famous that nearly everyone in the world recognized you was just a scary thought. At least with social media there was some separation, but it had also given way to people who thought they knew you, and that could be a lot worse, “Uh, no. I haven’t reached that level yet, but I did have a pretty bad stalker scare about a year or so ago.” It had been traumatic for the young woman, and something she didn’t like to talk about much. And upon hearing Winter’s answer, couldn’t see why she would want to be ridiculously famous. Shutting down a restaurant could be appealing. She could see that, but having a stranger waiting for you in your bedroom after working all day, was a nightmare she never wanted to experience ever again.

She was glad the conversation took a turn, “I can imagine. Helping people on such a personal level like that has to be tiring at times. It’s great work you’re doing, but even I know sometimes I just want to be left alone to not have to see or talk to anybody for at least a good day or two.” It was so true though. Mack often got socially drained, especially when it was time for press tours. And on her days off, when she hadn’t made promises to go hangout with friends around town, she would laze around in her pjs, watch TV, eat junk food, and snuggle with her dog, Bixby, and of course, Brody when he was home. She had loved those days. Cherished those days and it was exactly what the plan was going to be when she got home tonight - after picking up a pizza and some of her favorite froyo for her and her boyfriend to chow down on, “I’m guessing you follow me on instagram?” Her insta was filled with pictures of her life, including her boyfriend, “But yeah. His name’s Brody. We met when we were kids and a mutual friend put us back in touch with each other not too long ago and here we are!” Mackenzie’s face lit up talking about him, “What about you? Got a significant other in your life?” She wasn’t sure if that was too personal of a question, but she asked it anyway.

Mackenzie was a bit of a sap and had loved hearing why Winter had fallen in love with what she had known all of her life, “Your mom seems like a pretty awesome lady. And I can see why you would fall in love with the career you have. For me, when I hear stories from fans about how one of my characters helped them get through something, it always humbles me, you know? Like yeah, the fame is great and the perks and the money, but it’s the fans and just how significantly you can help in a career that you wouldn’t think could help as much as it does. Did that make sense? I feel like I’m rambling.” She laughed. 

But it was Winter’s reaction that had completely caught Mack off guard, “Did you just call me a bitch?” Her smile had dropped for a moment, before she leaned in closer to her, “If I’m a bitch, then you’re a diva…a devious diva at that, because you’re not getting any spoilers out of me.” She leaned back as a grin slowly crept across her face, “And yes, I actually do love torturing people, because what kind of person would I be if I gave away all the good stuff before it aired.” A fired person is what she’d be. She had been sworn to secrecy in the contract she had signed years prior, and she wasn’t about to bite the hand that feeds.

“Stalker? Ugh, who would be so desperate?” One might think that Winter was throwing a jab towards Mack but it was definitely the other way around. Why would anyone want to be such a creep? Being in the industry should not have to come with the danger of some rando trying to insert themselves in your life nor should it have to come with the dangers that came with it. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’m sure it was scary.” And she was also sure Mack probably didn’t want to talk about it much. Winter didn’t want to talk about it either. It was too much and it would pop that perfect bubble she’d put Hollywood in.

So the subject was considered dropped. The medium smiled again, nodding her head lightly as Mack went on to compliment her some more. She wasn’t to shy away from a good compliment, Winter eating it up as she leaned forward, elbow going to her knee as she placed her chin on top of her closed fist. “It’s definitely draining.” Actually, she loved all of the attention she got from it, loved that the focus was on her the entire time she was “speaking” with whatever entity she was supposed to be speaking with. Winter only used the draining excuse when she didn’t know how to continue with her lies. 

Raising her eyebrows at the question, she felt her head tilt with curiosity. Instagram? Oh! Because she knew about the fiance. As the thought dawned on her she had to pick her own brain while she tried to remember if she followed Mack or not. “Honestly? I think I do but I’ll be real with you. I knew who Brody was before I knew who you were. I mean…he’s hot, as you know.” Telling another girl her boyfriend was hot probably should have instilled some sort of shame in her but Winter couldn’t care less. If Mack had a problem with it that just meant she was too insecure for her own good and that wasn’t Winter’s problem. Shrugging a shoulder, she sat back up in her chair with a nonchalance that showed she didn’t quite give shit what Mack thought of that answer and hoped it wouldn’t ruin a good time. “Or at least I hope you think he’s hot…”

She perked up when her mom was also praised. Ever since she was a little girl, Winter had idolized the woman and had one goal: Be just like her. It wasn’t always easy, especially when her mother set very high expectations, but she had never given up on the goal. Most people would say she’d met it already. “She is an awesome lady. Basically I want to be just like her in every aspect. Find someone who adores me the way my dad adores her, have a successful tv show, be able to travel anywhere I want,” She paused, feeling like she was forgetting something until it hit her,” Oh, and help people of course.” She really had to remember to say that to more people. “You lost me there but I think I picked it back up a little ways into the rambling. It’s okay though, it happens when we care about something.”

Oh god, here we go. She was on the cusp of rolling her eyes at the overreaction before she caught Mack leaning towards her in her peripheral vision, the medium wondering for a split second if the other girl was going to try and cause bodily harm. The words were not expected at all and prompted a little giggle. Winter was just glad she wasn’t too sensitive. “I see we like alliteration here. I’ll take Devious Diva, but you get Bougee Bitch because I just get that vibe from you. It does hurt though. We’ve already given each other nicknames and you can’t be bothered to give one little detail.” Scrunching her fingers together for emphasis, Winter was fully aware that details couldn’t be spared. She worked in the industry too and she knew contracts were a thing. It was just too fun to mess around with the girl.

Mackenzie was highly enjoying herself. She hadn’t expected Winter to really want to chat after giving an appearance, but she was glad the woman did. She was also glad when she respected Mack’s decision to not keep talking about her stalker situation, and instead spoke about other things. There were just some things in the young actress’s life she preferred not to dwell on. Besides, who needed that kind of negativity when she had the perfect life and the perfect boyfriend on top of all of it. She couldn’t complain, and she was grateful for what the universe had given her, “Honestly, I hear that a lot. Brody is hot, and it’s just a part of the business. It took a minute to get used to having other people talk about the man I love like that, but I trust Brody, and he trusts me.” A wide grin spread across her face as she thought about him. Mackenzie was falling hard for him. And even though they hadn’t been together that long, she had known the kind of man he was long before they had ever considered getting together.

“Burnout is a real thing and stepping back to take some time for yourself is understandable.” There had been times when she wanted to quit, but was grateful that she didn’t. Instead a quick trip to somewhere quiet and relaxing usually did the trick, a luxury Mackenzie knew not many people could afford, which made her appreciate it even more. She had wondered if burnout was one of the reason’s Winter’s mom had called it quits on the original Spirit Speak, but she was also talking to the woman’s daughter, so that could have also been the reason the show had been shelved until Winter had taken it over.

She enjoyed hearing about how much respect and admiration her new friend had for her mom and her career. Mackenzie had loved her mom dearly, but couldn’t relate to her in the sense of having the same job. Mack had been the first celebrity in their family, which sometimes made it awkward around her cousins and other family members, “I know she’s probably supes proud of you and your biggest fan.” Her smile was warm and genuine. She was glad Winter had that support in her life.

“Bougee Bitch. Well, I can’t really complain, because I am pretty bougee. Even my other friends think so.” She laughed. Feeling her phone vibrate, Mackenzie pulled it out to see Brody had texted, “And that’s my cue to go. I promised Brody a pizza and froyo for dinner. Plus, I’m sure you’re ready to go home and rest, before you have to leave again, but before I leave,” She held out her phone, “mind if I get your number, DD. Next time you’re in town, maybe we can have lunch together. My treat.”

All Winter could do was nod as Mack spoke about her boyfriend. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy for them, it was more about the things that she wanted to continue saying about Brody. It would most likely offend her new friend too much in the long run and it wasn’t worth the hassle that would come with it. She had to play nice or her publicist was going to drop her and a new feud with Mack Ross would be the thing that made her cut the cord with her client. Besides, she was starting to kind of like Mack. So, she nodded some more all while inappropriate thoughts about Brody floated through her mind, threatening to spill out of her mouth.

Yea, she was starting to like Mack for sure. Compliments went a long way with Winter, especially compliments that made her feel like her mother wasn’t always pushing her to be better and might have actually enjoyed the work that Winter did. Even if she knew deep down that it wasn’t true. Her mother always thought she could do better, be better, and that had only amped up since the show had started. She was surprised the woman wasn’t there berating her about the meet and greet that night. 

“See? Spot on. I am very perceptive.” It was when Mack looked at her phone that Winter looked around the shop they were in to find the crew members and the store owner were waiting around for them. They hadn’t bothered her…good. Thought that might have more to do with the fact that Mack Ross was the one talking to her. She gave them all a light smile before turning back to the blonde and the phone she was holding out to Winter.

Well, that was a shock. But Winter didn’t hesitate to grab the girl’s phone and put her contact information in under the name DD. She liked the fact that Mack wasn’t scared of her bravado and seemed to roll with her slight punches. The question would be, could she handle the worst of Winter? She had a feeling she would. “This comes with one condition: I get to pick the place. I know some great places around here.” She handed the phone back, not moving to leave just yet while she waited for Mack to head out. “Go, make sure your boy doesn’t starve. It would be such a waste.” 

Mackenzie had really enjoyed the few minutes she got to spend getting to know Winter. She had figured the interaction would have been short. Maybe an autograph or photo, but not the two becoming friends. The girl was feisty and Mack liked that. A bit brash and probably told it like it was even when you didn’t want to hear it, but Mack knew it would keep her humble. Fame wasn’t something you could let go to your head, or it would destroy your career. She had seen it happen around her way too many times. It’s why Mackenzie didn’t like to bite the hand that kept her employed. She could clap back occasionally, but it was usually well warranted. However, with Winter’s brash and what seemed like give no fucks attitude, Mack was sure she could learn a thing or two.

Taking her phone back and standing up, she looked down and laughed when she saw DD in her contacts, “Fine. You can pick the place the first time, and it’ll be my treat. But next time I get to choose, and it’s on you. Deal?” Just because Mack had money, didn’t mean she was paying every time. She’d seen the empire that Winter’s mom had built over the years. And knew that the Spirit Speak plush doll she had growing up didn’t come without residuals for it being the woman’s likeness. “Yeah, I might want to get two pizzas now that I’m thinking about it.” She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Thanks, DD. We’ll talk again soon, yeah?” She put her hand on Winter’s shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze, before leaving the bookstore.

It had been a nice experience, and one she’d hold onto. Plus, she knew her grandmother would be beside herself knowing that Mackenzie got to talk to the daughter of one of her favorite people. With one last glance into the window, headlights shining in brightly, the young actress smiled as she drove off.

[precalamity]

entitled: can y’all stop being gay for 5 seconds I’m having a fucking panic attack

[hoodedicequeen]

Rewritten 3 - Helene x Avitas

There will be a Helvitas happy ending - it’s just a little... misleading

This fic contains an excerpt from one of my previous fics.

***

Helene Aquilla could rely on only one soul to push her through the aftermath of the war. She had no one left but two friends who valued each other far more than her, an infant who could barely walk, let alone console her, and him.

Musa of Adisa’s friendship was the only thing that held together the thin strands of willpower she had left. Not her will to serve the Empire; she had that in copious amounts, but her will to live. 

She spent much of her spare time with him, riding through the countryside, laughing in the moonlight, reminiscing over the lost. Musa never allowed her to forget those she had loved. He urged her instead to think of all that they had brought to the world, the fire that they had ignited within her that raged on still, alive and strong. His view of the world gave her hope, his friendship slowly remaking her. And yet, it never seemed to be quite enough. 

After dancing with him at the Moon Festival, she felt that it should be something more.

As the two of them strolled through the palace gardens weeks after the occasion, Helene stopped abruptly, meriting a questioning glance from the Beekeeper. 

“Do you ever regret loving her?”

Musa’s expression grew pained. “I will never regret loving her. I only regret not loving her enough.”

Helene placed a tentative hand on his shoulder, remembering their conversation from a year before; shortly after they had taken back Antium. You will regret it for all your years. She understood him now. Understood him so clearly it hurt. “I never want to make that mistake again.”

Musa turned to face her, grabbing her hand in his. His smile was more beautiful and true than any of the ones he’d offered her before. “What are you implying, Empress?” He stepped closer to her.

Their lips were suddenly just a hairsbreadth apart. She could feel his breath mingling with hers. 

“You are a bleeding idiot,” she said, closing that miniscule distance, and crossing an endless sea of emotions and doubts in the process.

***

Avitas Harper was dead. He knew it with utmost certainty and acceptance. No one could have survived such an injury as the one that had been inflicted upon him. No healer nor singer could have altered his fate. Yet he wasn’t in the Waiting Place, and he certainly wasn’t on the other side.

An odd figure lingered by his head, barely visible, as if it were a reflection of a reflection. Almost nothing at all. The figure disappeared a second later, and then reappeared, slightly more solid than before.

“I am Rehmat.”

Rehmat. The jinn queen who lived inside Laia. But what was she doing with him, in death?

“You are not dead, child. You are being given a choice.” Rehmat’s voice was as faint as her form. “In death, awaits your mother and father. Your lost comrades in arms. In life, awaits Helene Aquilla.”

Harper stared at Rehmat disbelievingly. “Why are you here? You should be with Laia. You should be aiding her in battle.”

“Most of my power lies with her. But a small fragment, activated a year ago when you defied the Nightbringer, lies within you still. I am a projection of that fragment.”

Rehmat immerses him in the memory:

“Set her down, Captain.” He enters Helene’s quarters, and the Nightbringer gestures to her bed. “And then leave.” He settles her onto the bed. He tries to do so carefully, but her grimace displays that he could not prevent an inevitable strain from falling upon her wound. The expression pains him deeply. He backs away. “I will not leave her,”  he says. He straightens and looks the Nightbringer in the face without flinching.

The moment seemed like so long ago, and yet he remembered it clearly. He could recall every detail of every moment he’d shared with Helene, good and bad. His choice between life and death, between Helene and whatever lay on the other side, had been made from the moment Rehmat proposed it.

“If what you say is true, then I can go back to her.” He felt like crying out in joy.

“Yes. But as I said, you carry only a fragment of my power. The withdrawal process from your current middle state will take time. Months. Up to a year. But if you wish to return to life, I will send you directly to Helene Aquilla.”

“Yes.” Avitas had never been so sure about anything ever before. Well, except for his love for Helene. “Please give her back to me. I wish for nothing more. I will wish for nothing more for the rest of my existence.”

“Humans have never been wantless creatures.” Rehmat chuckled darkly.

“Goodbye, Avitas Harper.”

***

Harper awoke suddenly to find himself standing in the palace gardens of Antium. 

Further down the garden path stood two figures - lovers - sharing an embrace. Musa, and a woman who bore a striking resemblance to Helene. The way her body curved, the color of her hair, the gentle clash of beauty and ferocity in her form, features he knew and loved with utmost clarity. But Helene would never fall for Musa’s shallow charms, his obviously fake smiles. 

Avitas had never thought of Musa as a bad person, but quite suddenly, the man’s very existence irritated him.

It was then that he realized that he was deluding himself. That it was, indeed, Helene who stood with Musa. 

Harper knew he should be nothing short of grateful that Helene had found love, that she was happy. But all he felt then was a heart-wrenching sorrow.

Had Helene moved on days after he had gone into the middle state, or had it been weeks? Months? He knew that she had loved him, that he loved her, but it was possible that her love had been born simply from the desperation of war, a need for companionship. He could clearly see that she was no longer burdened by that need.

If he interfered, and Helene did have lingering feelings for him, he would hurt both her and Musa. And if her love for him was naught, then he could only hurt himself. 

Harper turned away and began walking out of the garden.

Humans have never been wantless creatures.

Rehmat was right. For though he had been given another chance at life, though he had gotten to see the woman he loved, he still wanted more. 

***

Helene removed her lips from Musa’s at the sound of leaves rustling behind her. There had been no winds, not even the slightest of breezes.

She regarded Musa’s hurt expression for only a split second before turning and  bounding silently towards the intruder. He was a fool if he thought he’d be able to assassinate her that easily. 

It was only when she’d tackled him to the ground and held a knife to his throat that she realized that his back had been turned to her, that he had not seemed to have any intention to harm her at all.

It was but a moment later that she realized who he was. 

“Av- Avitas?”

“Helene.” He allowed himself a weak smile, his eyes, for once, revealing everything that he felt.

“No. Avitas Harper is dead.” She pressed her knife to his throat; he made no attempt to resist her. “What are you?”

“Emifal Firdaant, Shrike.”

No unholy fey creature could possibly know of the words they’d shared. She had whispered them to Harper and Harper alone. And he had whispered them back to her with his dying breath.

“But I saw you....” No. She didn’t care what she had seen. Avitas was here. Her Avitas. 

She kissed him. Kissed him with all of the pain she’d felt in losing him. Kissed him with the passion of all the kisses they should have shared in the past year. 

But he didn’t kiss her back. 

And when she followed his gaze to Musa, to the Beekeper’s pain at the thought of all that could have been had Harper not returned, she understood. 

“Musa...” She understood, and still, she could do nothing. 

The Beekeper walked away.

***

The next morning, a small scroll appeared in the palm of Helene’s hand. She saw but a glimmer of wings upon receiving it. 

Consider your favor to me fulfilled, as you have granted me a six month leave to Adisa to assist with rebuilding. Spend time with Avitas Harper. If I was given a second chance with Nikla, I would let nothing get in my way. I know you are a much better person than I, and would not be so eager as to do so. Therefore I am removing myself from your path. Best wishes.

***

Musa, 

I doubt I will ever be able to thank you enough for all you have done for me over the past year. Your hope, your kindness, and your irritating disposition are signs that the Skies have yet to completely condemn me. You deserve all the happiness in all the worlds, and we both know that it does not lie with me. You deserve much more than to be an unwilling Empress’s second choice. But our time together was much too short, and I desperately wish that we can remain friends. I will be damned by the ten bleeding hells if you run away forever without so much as a goodbye.

Empress Regent,

Helene Aquilla

***

Upon the completion of her letter, Helene began wandering the palace in search of Harper. 

She found him in the baths.

“Where is Musa? Why are you here?” His expression gave away nothing. But his eyes - they told a story all their own. They were laced with unending desire, and an equally deep abyss of sorrow.

Instead of giving him an explanation, she found herself pulling her hair free of its crown and stepping towards him ever so slowly. “You know why I’m here.” 

The words were an echo. The start to a conversation they’d had there before.

“But I need you to say it. Please.”  

“I’m here because it’s been a year since you’ve kissed me, since you’ve held me, since I’ve seen you at all. And when I saw the light fade from your eyes, I knew that I’d never love the same way again.”

“Helene.” He stepped closer, and whispered her name in her ear. He whispered it again and again, falling into sobs as he did, for he had thought that what they were starting would never be possible again. 

She replied with his name, a mere breath falling from her lips. Filled with sorrow and endless joy alike. 

“Avitas.” 

[kindofcashton]

𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕  •  chapter 17  (Calum Hood AU)

DESPITE THE STARTLING realization that I might in fact be in love with Calum, I didn’t act any differently.  I didn’t hover or cling to him like annoying, love-struck girls would.  In fact, I was almost more distant, using it as a safety precaution in case he caught on to my intensifying feelings.  One night I casually suggested we sleep apart, even though the thought pained me.  Calum’s reluctance was a comfort, but even still he ended up agreeing.  That was one of the longest nights of my life; I laid for hours just staring at the ceiling, wondering if Calum felt as empty as I did without a warm body laying next to mine.

Things at the house were also just better all around.  With Ashton and Hannah on good terms again, the group was tentatively back together.  I interrogated Hannah for answers on what had happened, if their relationship was slowly reforming.  She dodged most of my tougher questions, insisting that they’d put aside any bad blood for the sake of the group.  I didn’t entirely buy this; something definitely happened, but for whatever reason Hannah wasn’t ready to tell me.  I didn’t demand any more details, seeing as I was withholding plenty myself.  Hannah thought Calum and I were just fooling around, no strings attached.  While that was what was supposed to be going on, my feelings lately had confused things.  By no means was I going to tell a soul what I felt, but even keeping it inside still made the whole thing feel different.  I leaned deeper into Calum’s kisses, I held his gaze longer when he rocked inside of me.  My body was communicating all on its own, and I just hoped Calum didn’t catch on to these subtle changes.

After a particularly hot and passionate night together, I was frantic to go off to work.  Calum’s heady pants still echoed in my ears, the burn of his fingers still lingering on my skin.  As I sat on the edge of the bed lacing up my sneakers, I felt warm lips press into my neck, and goosebumps raised immediately where he kissed me.

“Back for more?” I joked, not looking over my shoulder.  I’d woken up before him to get ready, leaving him peacefully asleep, or so I thought.  He swiveled his body to sit next to mine on the bed, shoulder bumping my own.  Calum was clad only in black athletic shorts, his toned torso on teasing display.

His nose nestled into my neck, making my lashes flutter.  “I can be quick,” he whispered in a sultry tone, and I pushed him away with a snort.

“I think I’ll need more time to recover after what you did last night,” I reminded him, feeling the residual ache between my legs.  Calum left me the sore in the best way possible, and all day I would have a reminder of his body’s wicked tricks.

Calum smirked at me, flopping over onto the mattress with his hand over his abdomen.  He looked beautifully relaxed, jawline framed by the morning light, his eyes drowsy but content.  I’d never seen him so happy, and for a second I wondered if it was more than just the sex that made him feel this way.

“How long’s your shift?” he asked, eyes closing with a yawn.  I grabbed my bag off the floor and shouldered it with a sigh.

“Long,” I said simply, not looking forward to the strenuous hours ahead.  With community college tuition looming, I asked Mack for as many shifts as I could get, just in case I felt tight on money.  I’d rather have more than enough than barely enough, even if it meant working excruciating hours.  

Calum frowned.  “You’re working so much lately.”  There was an edge to his voice, like he disapproved.

I ran a hand through my hair in aggravation.  “What else am I supposed to do?  My life is getting back on track, and that means more bills to pay.”  I tried to stifle the resentment bubbling up inside me; Calum lounged around day in and day out, doing what he wanted when he wanted to.  Week after week he tore open the checks his mother sent, tossing them carelessly onto his desk.  Usually this didn’t come between us, but with my increased schedule I couldn’t help but feel bitter about his lazy routine.

Clearly a similar thought crossed his mind, and his frown deepened.  He didn’t say anything else, instead taking on a guarded expression.  He was so hard to read sometimes, and when I wanted him to open up he just shut down.  I had no idea how he felt about me going back to school; part of me thought he didn’t care, but another part wondered if he felt insecure that I was growing up and making a life for myself while he wasted time doing nothing important.  I wished he would tell me if he felt this way, but of course he never did.  We didn’t talk about anything that wasn’t surface level, which was fine when we were in our peaceful little bubble.

But I had to live in reality, which meant popping that bubble more frequently.  I couldn’t let Calum distract me from my more important goals, and he just had to learn to deal with my busy lifestyle.

As I was tying my hair into a messy ponytail, Calum suddenly asked, “When do you get off?”

“Seven,” I answered.  “It’s a ten-hour shift with only one lunch break.  I might drop dead from exhaustion.”  A second passed, and I chewed my lip as an idea popped into my head.  “Want to get dinner after I’m finished?”

For some reason this caused Calum to lean up, his posture stiff and his expression incredulous.  “What?”

My brows knit together, puzzled at his odd reaction.  “Dinner.  I’ll be starved after my shift, so I thought you could join me.”

His frown turned into a glare.  “Like a date?”  He sounded defensive and mocking, which didn’t help my already exacerbated mood.

“What, we can’t eat a meal together?  Is that against some hook-up rule or something?”  I couldn’t control the annoyance in my voice; why did Calum always have to complicate things?

“I don’t know, dinner just seems like a weird thing to do.”  I had no idea what he meant by ‘weird’, and his unreadable expression didn’t help me figure it out.

“Whatever, Calum,” I refuted.  “Forget I asked.”  I was already late for work and had to catch the bus, so I didn’t bother staying to bicker any longer.  Admittedly, it hurt that he was so against the idea of us spending time together outside of the bedroom.  I’d suggested dinner as more of a friendship thing than anything else; after all, there was a time when the two of us actually liked one another.

I didn’t realize Calum had followed me until I reached the front door, but his arm blocked me from opening it.  He’d thrown on a shirt and shoes, and his lips were pressed together in a thin line.

Fuming, I crossed my arms and demanded he move.  “I’m late for work, Calum.”

“No, you’re late for the bus,” he countered.  “So let me drive you, and that’ll solve the problem.”  For such a considerate offer, he didn’t sound too nice about it.  His scowl seemed permanently etched on as I followed him to his car.

We drove in silence for a few minutes, not even the sound of the radio to alleviate the tension.  Calum’s knuckles were white as he gripped the wheel, and I leaned as far away from him as possible.

Sensing my irritation, he asked, “Are you gonna be pissed at me for the whole day?”  He sounded accusing, which only made me more infuriated.

“No, Calum.  I’m not gonna waste that much time on you.”  Realizing how harsh the words sounded, I backtracked.  “I just thought we could eat some stupid grilled cheese sandwiches together and maybe do something different for a change.  God forbid I want to spend time with you.”

More silence, so I thought the conversation was over.  But then I glanced over and saw an odd look on his face, almost resembling guilt.

“So it’s not a date?” he reiterated, and I let out an enormous sigh.

“I literally just want to eat food, and not do it alone,” I insisted, so beyond done with this conversation.  But Calum seemed satisfied with my answer, and eased up his tight grip on the wheel.

“Okay, so I’ll pick you up.”  He met my eyes as he pulled into a parking spot near the cafe, stopping the car and filling the air with quiet.  I tried desperately to see the thoughts swirling behind his level brown gaze, but it was a hopeless task.  At least he wasn’t hostile anymore.  I sighed again, hoping my annoyance was well communicated so he knew not to pull this shit again.

“I’ll see you later,” I told him before closing the car door.  I stalked towards the coffee shop, grabbing the strap of my bag for support as I refused to look back.

Roger knew something was up the minute I started working.  I moved angrily as I made the coffees, sighing every so often and grimacing rather than smiling at the customers.  It would be a long day.

“Who pissed in your morning coffee?” he joked after a particularly bad exchange with a customer.  The guy had demanded I remake his cappuccino because it “didn’t taste right”, and when my polite apology wasn’t ass-kissing enough for him he accused me of being a miserable, lazy youth.  I seriously contemplated throwing the hot coffee in his face, but reminded myself I was working these stupid shifts for a reason.  My future.

“Just having a bad day, I guess,” I replied vaguely, but this didn’t satisfy Roger.

“Trouble in paradise, eh?  What’s he done now?”

I couldn’t help but smile at how Roger always jumped to my defense, always blaming Calum when things went wrong.  “I told him I was working late and suggested we get dinner, then he flipped out because he thought I meant it as a date.”

This intrigued Roger, who raised his eyebrows in pleasant surprise.  “Interesting.  He could be using reverse psychology.  I’ll bet he actually does want to go on a date, but wants you to think that he doesn’t.”  Roger tapped the side of his head.  “Smart cookie.”

I laughed, beginning to wipe down the counters after the first morning rush.  “I’m a psychology major and I still can’t figure out what goes in his mind,” I joked.  “I just thought it would be nice to do something together.  Other than what we always do.”  At my insinuation, Roger giggled like a schoolboy.

“Ah, yes, the sex has reached the boring stage, has it?”

I shook my head firmly.  “No, not at all.  It’s still great, just...”  I exhaled sharply, frustrated with the whole situation.  “I really thought it was just gonna be dinner, but then he had to make it weird.  And he was being weird about me working so much, too.  I don’t know what his problem is lately.”

Roger nodded along to my rant, considering the dilemma.  “Well, that’s obvious at least.  He feels left behind.”

I waved the rag excitedly.  “That’s what I thought!  I mean, he doesn’t have any idea what he’s doing, and I have every idea.  I thought maybe he was jealous or insecure, but he’d definitely rather die than tell me this.”

“He’s a guy like that.  We don’t like feeling inferior, and when we do we totally deal with it the wrong way,” Roger informed me.  “He doesn’t know how to process these complex emotions so he’s shutting them out.”

I smiled.  “You don’t need to tell me twice.  Classic defense mechanisms, disconnection from his feelings...”  I trailed off, suddenly feeling guilty.  I shouldn’t psychoanalyze Calum, not when I knew how much he hated that side of me.  But I couldn’t help it when he was being so difficult.

Resting my elbows on the counter, my smile faded into a worried frown.  “What do I do, Roger?  I thought we were in a good place, but lately it just doesn’t feel right anymore.”

“Don’t give up yet,” Roger suggested.  “Give it a little more time.  But if Calum doesn’t start making some changes, cut him loose.  You’ve got better things to deal with than his emotional immaturity.”  Despite the harsh criticism, I knew Roger was right.  Whatever I felt towards Calum didn’t matter if he was jeopardizing my future, and I couldn’t keep dealing with his detached feelings when it made me so exhausted.

For once I actually dreaded the end of my shift.  I had no idea what mood Calum would be in when he picked me up--or if he would even pick me up at all.  I wouldn’t put it past him to abandon me, especially if he wanted to avoid an uncomfortable conversation.  

I ended up cleaning the whole dining area twice, and even resorted to re-mopping the floor which was practically sparkling already.  Roger played along with this for as long as he could, but even his patience was wearing thin.

“We got off half an hour ago, Scarlett,” he criticized, snatching the mop out of my hand.  “I’m going blind from all the sparkly-clean surfaces inside this cafe.”

I sighed, placing my hands on my hips.  “I know, you’re right.  I just...when I’m nervous I like to fix things and be productive, so cleaning--”

“Yeah, yeah, your fatal flaw is that you care too much and you clean all the time.  I swear, you act like you’re the worst person alive when those are barely flaws.”  Roger’s tone was light, but I couldn’t help but look deeper into his joke.  Did Calum think that I didn’t believe I had any flaws?  Caring too much is barely even a character flaw, but that’s what he threw in my face constantly.  Maybe he thought I put myself on a pedestal above him, and that’s why he felt so insecure.

I decided I would try to be less condescending and more open when it came to Calum’s feelings.  I only hoped he would actually appreciate this effort, and maybe start making some positive changes of his own.

The sun was bleeding into the sky as it set below the horizon, casting a pale orange glow about the earth.  I glanced around outside the cafe, searching for that signature red mustang that always made my heart skip a beat.

Sure enough, it was parked right across the street, and Calum was leaning casually against it.  He looked good; typical black jeans and sneakers with a big red flannel over a band shirt.  My face broke into a surprise smile; I remembered wearing that shirt just a few nights ago.

When I approached, Calum’s brows raised disbelievingly.  “What’s with the face?” he questioned, referring to my dumb grin. 

I shrugged.  “I don’t know, I guess I wasn’t exactly sure if you’d show up.”  It was an honest answer, and I didn’t think lying or placating Calum would help either of us.

His lips twisted into a sardonic smirk.  “Of course I showed up; I would never miss our date.”  He said this with obvious bitter sarcasm, but the crinkles around his eyes softened the delivery.  I rolled my eyes, amused by his stubborn refusal to get over the whole “date” thing.

“I’m starved, where should we go?”  I’d eat just about anything right now, but a grilled cheese sounded particularly mouth-watering.

“Luke says there’s a new diner open by the music shop.  Says it’s more upscale than the truck-stop places we always go to.”

I nodded, pleased with the idea of trying out a new place with Calum.  This felt like something regular friends did, and although Calum and I were definitely out of the ordinary, I enjoyed it nonetheless.

The diner was fairly packed when we got there, but we managed to snag one of the last open booths.  There was no question about what we’d order; as soon as the waitress showed up, we asked for two grilled cheeses.

I sipped my coke and gazed out the window at the bustling city streets.  My muscles relaxed into the cushioned booth as the day’s stress lifted from my shoulders.  Work was taxing, as always, but worth it in the end.  

Neither of us minded the quiet, since we were so used to each other’s presence.  A few times I felt Calum’s knee brush mine under the table, and my lips twitched at this subtle motion.

“Why’d you get out so late?  Mack ask you to stay longer?”  Calum twirled his unopened plastic straw between his fingers, and for a second the movement mesmerized me as I thought about his skilled fingers.

“No, I just wanted to clean the place up.  I didn’t have to stay.”

Calum scoffed lightly, and I worried I said something wrong.  “Always so selfless,” he muttered, but I couldn’t detect if he was joking or not.  “Do you ever do anything wrong?”

The question was rhetorical, but I took the opportunity to open up a little and show Calum that I could be vulnerable.  “Yeah, all the time.  What do you think me lying to everyone was about?”

He frowned, unsatisfied by the answer.  “You lied out of loyalty to a friend, that’s hardly wrong.”

“Okay, then I leech off all of you by living rent-free.  I’m cheap, I’m a cheap-skate.”  I was grasping at straws, anything to show that I didn’t think I was some perfect angel.  And I didn’t.  I knew I was flawed and I hated that Calum thought I wasn’t; that would just set him up to be disappointed when he realized I wasn’t as amazing as he thought.

Calum just rolled his eyes at this attempt.  “You whine about feeling bad every day, that’s hardly being a leech.”

Sitting back with a defeated sigh, I demanded, “Well, what do you want me to say?  I’m showing you everything I do wrong and you’re denying all of it.”

“Because you don’t do anything wrong.  You’re so kind it makes my teeth hurt, and there’s never a doubt in anyone’s mind that you’re genuine.  You’re perfect, Scarlett.”  He said this matter-of-fact, like I was a little kid he was explaining something very simple to.

I ignored the way his final sentence made me feel.  You’re perfect, Scarlett.  Did he really see me that way?  Was I perfect to him?  Or perfect for him?  I hoped it was the latter, and bit my lip to hide my inner turmoil.  Calum danced along a very thin line all the time: the line between what we were now, and what I secretly wanted us to be.  What kind of friend-with-benefits says you’re perfect?  I tried to convince myself he didn’t mean it, that it was supposed to be mocking, but the sincerity in his eyes was telling me otherwise.

Thankfully, the waitress interrupted us with food and gave us both an excuse to change the subject.  As soon as she left, Calum and I collectively cringed; the sandwiches were cut down the middle.

Calum exhaled gravely, shaking his head.  “Gonna have to tell Luke this place isn’t so great after all.  I mean, they really fucked up here.”

I laughed, pretending to push my plate away.  “Get that waitress back here, we’ll set her straight.”  As we both joked over the grilled cheese, any intensity or confusion from before was banished.  The meal was quickly over, and I won the argument for which of us would pay for the food.  While we got up to leave, Calum grumbled about having to take me out again so that he could pay and make us even.

When he said this, I had to hide my blushing smile.

The night wasn’t too cold, and we decided to walk for a little bit before driving home.  Our hands swayed close to one another’s, and I willed Calum to twine his fingers with my own.  But the backs of our palms grazed a few times, and he made no move to change this.

As we passed by a familiar building, I pointed it out to Calum.  “That’s one of the places Hannah and I looked at.  The apartment is actually pretty nice, but there’s god-awful green bathroom tile that makes me nauseous just looking at it.”

Calum smiled vaguely, his expression distant.  “You can’t live there, the location is awful.”

I knitted my brows together.  “It’s right by the coffee shop.”

He shook his head.  “Yeah, but way too far from the house.  We’re never gonna see you guys if you live there.”

I chuckled, looking down at the pavement as we walked.  “I think you just don’t want me to move out,” I concluded.

Calum’s smile tightened.  “Yeah, who else would constantly wear the shirts that are supposed to be mine?”

My shoulder nudged him jokingly as I teased, “Admit it, you love seeing me in your tee shirts.”

He paused in walking, and my grin faded.  Had I been too serious?  Was using the word love a mistake?  Panic welled up in my chest, and I feared I ruined an otherwise perfect evening.

And then all of a sudden his phone began to ring, and I let out a breath I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding.  Saved by the bell, I thought, wondering what would have happened if we weren’t interrupted.

Calum fished through his pocket for his phone, pulling it out and glancing at the screen.  His expression immediately darkened, and my stomach sank upon seeing this.

“Who is it?”  It was a stupid question, because I knew he wouldn’t answer.  Calum squared his shoulders and started walking, leaving me to hurriedly catch up to him.

“No one,” he snapped when I reached him, anticipating my badgering questions.  “Drop it, okay?”

I opened my mouth to protest, but then remembered the promise I’d made to myself earlier.  Don’t be condescending.  So I kept my mouth shut, and instead focused on keeping up with Calum’s long strides.

He glanced at me a few times, surprised I wasn’t trying to get answers out of him.  Once I met his eyes, and saw the deep thought hiding behind his brown orbs.  I wished he’d let me in on what he was thinking, but I settled with not knowing.  

A minute passed, and then his phone chimed, indicating the caller had left a voicemail.  We both tensed, but I didn’t expect him to listen to it.

So I was surprised when he whipped his phone out and brought it to his ear, stopping again to listen to the message.  I stood a few feet from him, keeping enough distance that I couldn’t eavesdrop on the call, even though I was dying to know who it was.

I watched Calum’s face as he listened, taking in the subtle narrowing of his eyes, the lowering of his brow in shock.  His lips parted, and all I wanted to do was kiss away the storm brewing behind his eyes.

The voicemail ended, and Calum shoved his phone back in his pocket.  But this time when he tried to continue walking, I stopped him, stepping in front of his chest and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Calum,” I started gently, lifting my eyes to his.  He avoided my quizzical stare, breathing hard.  “What is it?  What’s wrong?  You can tell me.”

He pushed a hand roughly through his hair, glaring everywhere but at me.  “It’s nothing, Scarlett.  Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not,” I defended.  “But maybe you should since whoever it is makes you feel this angry.”

Finally he turned his angry eyes on me, and I inhaled sharply at the fury I saw there.  “Fine, it was my mother who called.  Satisfied?”  He pushed me aside in order to storm off, and I was too stunned to move for a moment.

But then I jogged to catch up, breathless and confused.  “Your mother?  What did she want?  I thought she only reaches out through the checks.”

Calum looked ready to boil over.  “She does, but apparently she felt the need to call me.”  He appeared to be fighting over his next words, before finally stating, “She wants me to come home for a visit.”

I took a minute to let this information sink in.  Instinctively I was thrilled; his mother reaching out was a promising sign that their fractured relationship could be healed.  But then I considered the ramifications of her request.  She wouldn’t just ask out of the blue if something else wasn’t going on.  And she had to know that Calum wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy when it came to family stuff, so why not go about it delicately, not so sudden and shocking?

I tried in vain to read Calum’s expression, finding nothing but frustration and anger.  It pained me to see him so tense, but I didn’t just want to coddle him, I wanted to help him.

“Why not go?” I proposed softly, trying not to set him off.  “It might be good to see her.”

Calum snickered at this, and I winced.  “You’re shitting me, right?”  He sounded harsh and mocking, and I struggled to hold my ground.

“I know you’re confused and hurting,” I said firmly.  “But you don’t have to take it out on me.  I just want to help you.”

“Of course you do, because I’m your favorite little charity case,” he retaliated.  “Give it a rest, Scarlett.  I don’t need you smothering me.”

Fuming, I folded my arms and didn’t shy away from his steely gaze.  “No, Calum.  You can be an asshole and you can bitch about whatever you want, but don’t you dare take it out on me.  I’m just suggesting you patch up your relationship with your mother, or at least give it a try--”

“What makes you think you know what’s best for me?” he snarled.  “You don’t know me, you have no right to tell me what to do.  We’re not even friends, so why do you care?”

I huffed in disbelief, pressing a hand to my forehead.  “Why do I care?  Maybe because I’m not an emotionless husk who has no idea how to express his feelings!  We’re sleeping together for God’s sake--”

“And that makes us what, a couple?  You think you’re my girlfriend?  We’re not even friends, Scarlett.”  

Each word cut me like a knife, voicing the exact anxieties that had been eating away at me for weeks.  “I know we’re not, which is why I wanted to go to dinner and spend some freaking time together!”  I was embarrassed at how high my voice had gotten, how pathetic I sounded when I was trying to defend myself.

Calum chuckled darkly.  “I don’t want to be friends with you.  You always do this, you always force your way into other people’s problems because you think it involves you when it doesn’t.”  His hard eyes met mine.  “You’re nothing more than a good lay, and I can get that anywhere.”

I tried to remember how to breathe as I watched his figure get smaller and smaller, walking farther and farther away from me.  Each step he took was a stab to my heart, until he was out of view and I was left bleeding alone in the street.

[mermaidsirennikita]

movie sex: valid or not valid?

Because I have nothing better to do and am the resident movie sexpert, I’m going to rate every single sex scene in this Buzzfeed List of Supposedly Hot Movie Sex Scenes based on its validity (which probably isn’t much).

1. Queen and Slim.  Off to a shameful start in that well I have not seen this, however as Jodie Turner-Smith is involved I’m gonna preemptively say it’s valid.

2. Swimfan.  I have not seen this either but the guy is ugly.  I only tolerate so many people I don’t find attractive.  Not valid.

3. Titanic, the scene where Jack lost his virginity.  EXTREMELY VALID.  The sex steam!  “You’re trembling”!  The way he had no idea what her plan was until she made him grab her tit!

4. Chloe, the scene with Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried having mommy issues sex.  I would say valid, but in fact this movie is pretty problematic and plays into the psycho lesbian trope and is a remake of a movie that DOESN’T, so not valid.

5. Dirty Dancing.  Valid, because she touches his butt and also because every time you watch this with someone who grew up in the 80s they’re GUARANTEED to be like “and this part this part THIS PART” when he carelessly tosses her shirt aside.

6. Brokeback Mountain, the tent scene.  Loses points for the lack of lube, but I don’t think archive of our own existed back then so they wouldn’t have known their mistakes.  Also, easily the hottest tent sex.  Valid.

7. Unfaithful, the stairwell scene.  FUCK YES HELL YEAH GOOD SHIT GET IT.  Very valid cheating sex.

8. Indecent Proposal, Demi Moore has sex with her husband, not billionaire Robert Redford.  Lol what a bait and switch, I watched this because it’s my dream to get paid a million to have sex with someone and I have to watch Woody Harrelson have sex?  No thanks.  Not valid.

9. Anna Karenina, when Anna and Vronsky like, dance-fuck?  Fuck-dance?  I don’t know.  Vronsky’s hair is absolutely atrocious, and his mustache makes me feel like he shouldn’t be allowed around children, but this scene is very pretty.  Also, if you’re asking God for forgiveness after sex you probably did it right.  Valid.

10. Out of Sight, Clooney and JLo.  One of those sex scenes that’s like, intercut with the convo leading up to the sex, which can be hit or miss but it’s very sultry and 90s here.  Valid.

11. Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the threesome scene.  First off, lol, WHAT SCENE, you don’t even see shit.  Second, Woody Allen probably got his rocks off to this so instantly NOT VALID.

12. The Girl on the Train.  On Buzzfeed, this is described as, “when Luke Evans goes down on his wife”, and I agree.  VALID.

13. Monster’s Ball.  ............... Halle Berry is very good in this movie.  Is the movie a good movie?  Is this a good sex scene?  Also Billy Bob Thornton is there?  The debates about storytelling and realism can go on and on, but in terms of what I’m judging things by, which is good sex scene-ness,  not valid.

14. Black Swan. Natalie Portman fucks herself but it’s actually Mila Kunis.  You know how things can get when one knows oneself.  Very valid, as is the entire movie.

15. Body of Evidence.  I haven’t seen this movie, but the person who submitted it to Buzzfeed describes it as “the oral and then penetrative sex”, so I don’t trust them first off.  Second, Willem Dafoe and Madonna?  I worry.  Not valid.

16. Roadhouse.  Another movie where every woman who was a teenager in the 80s brings it up like “Have you seen Roadhouse?” with That Gleam in their eye.  Valid.

17. Conversations with Other Women.  I’ve never seen this movie and the cap Buzzfeed chose is absolutely ghastly, truly devastating for Aaron Eckhart, who I do not trust because he is not cute.  Not valid.

18. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the kitchen fuckfight scene.  Listen kids, marriages don’t always work out but you can always look back and watch the moment when Shiloh was conceived!!!  We love witnessing the death of a marriage with brutal boning, QUITE valid.

19. Atonement, the library scene.  Yes!!!  A thousand times yes!!!!  Knightley’s foot gradually lifting off the ground, the “I love yous”, the entire mood getting killed when her kid sister walks in?  Perfection.  Valid.

20. Rocketman, Elton John bones Richard Madden.  So valid!  It’s very sweet and loving even though you know Richard Madden is bad news, and also I totally get why Elton almost lost a career over him.  Same, bro!

21. Y Tu Mama Tambien, the threesome.  Y’all can fuck a Goldfinch, actually attractive men (Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna) actually make out with their actual lips and consummate their erotic friendship while the dying woman they’ve been roadtripping with blows them simultaneously.  Get your fucking shit together.  VALID.

22. The Mountain Between Us.  I.... I feel like a fraud here, but I did not like this scene.  Idris is very hot, but he looks like he’s crying during?  And I mean maybe that’s appropriate considering the fact that they almost died on a mountain, but that’s not my style.  Not valid, but gently.  Tearfully.

23. Her, that scene when Joaquin has phone sex with a robot.  I think that says it all.  Not valid.

24. The Piano, the scene where Harvey Keitel and Holly Hunter finally bone.  Like, am I attracted to Harvey Keitel?  No.  Let us get this disclaimer out there.  Is there some weird shit in this movie?  Yes.  But you can like.................. hear the vigor with which he’s going down on her in this scene......................................... ladies this was directed by a woman and you can TELL.  Valid.

25. A History of Violence, the stair scene.  This movie is very weird to me in so many ways, but like.  That shit.  That shit was..................... something.  Valid.

26. Crimson Peak, Tom Hiddleston fucks his wife when he wants to be fucking his sister.  I made this entire list because I saw the screencap of this scene for the article and laughed aloud.  Oh.  OH, Hiddlesstans.  Y’all think this was sexy?  His pale ass, the way he tried to snakedance his way up her body?  Oh.  Oh, my children.  Watch some other scenes, I beg of you.  Not valid, but a decent effort.

[metalandmagi]

Hogwarts Houses Anime Recommendations pt 2! Hufflepuff

A couple years ago, I made some posts with anime recommendations based on Hogwarts houses. And in case you haven’t noticed, there’s been a lot of new anime that’s come out in that time, and I’ve thought of some other things that I think people may have missed. And I was bored…So if you have ever wanted some anime recommendations with the same general themes and tones, maybe you’ll find something here.

In case you missed the first Hogwarts house recs:

Hufflepuff

Ravenclaw

Ravenclaw pt 2

Slytherin

Slytherin pt 2

Gryffindor

Gryffindor pt 2

Once again, I’m starting with HUFFLEPUFF, the house that embodies loyalty, dedication, hard work, patience and values friendship and inclusiveness above all else!

Tsuritama: When a boy with severe anxiety named Yuki moves to the island of Enoshima, he meets Haru, a bubbly alien who takes it upon himself to bring Yuki along on an otherworldly mission to rescue another alien…...by teaching him how to fish. It’s an incredibly funny found family anime with a plethora of unique characters, fishing, aliens, and a startlingly realistic look at anxiety. If you like things like Sarazanmai...but that make sense...this is the anime for you.

Tsuritama is one of the greatest examples of Hufflepuff style dedication and loyalty to your friends I’ve ever seen, and it’s just so sweet and hilarious that I keep coming back to re-watch it even all these years later. Honestly, this is one of my most favorite underrated shows of all time, and it’s a great watch for any Hufflepuff who wants something light but meaningful. Not to mention, it’s the epitome of a fun summer anime! 

A Place Further Than the Universe (Sora yori mo Tooi Basho): A group of four high school girls take on the seemingly impossible mission of traveling to Antarctica. That’s it, that’s the plot. It’s realistic, heartwarming, inspiring, hilarious, and devastating all at once. Each girl is so inspiring and charming while also being achingly realistic in different ways.

This was by far my favorite anime of 2018, and it’s an anime I think everyone should watch at some point in their life, especially if you are feeling down on yourself. This is the ultimate anime that proves anyone, yes even you, can accomplish something great through hard work, dedication, and a little help from your friends. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will blow your mind. Honestly, this show makes me wish I was a Hufflepuff, just so I could say I was more like the main character, because she’s the one of the best examples of a dedicated, earnest Hufflepuff out there.  

Iroduku-The World in Colors (Irozuku Sekai no Ashita Kara): Despite being descended from a family of witches, Hitomi Tsukishiro has not been able to see colors since she was a child. To rectify this, her grandmother Kohaku sends Hitomi back in time 60 years to 2018, when Kohaku was in school. High school adventures ensue while Hitomi makes friends and tries to come to terms with her magic along the way. At its core, it’s a story about art, romance, family, and coming to terms with yourself…kind of like a teenage drama version of Kiki’s Delivery Service.

Okay, this a really bizarre description, but it’s made by PA Works if that tells you anything about the emotional journey this show will force you to go on. Not only does it have some of the best animation from 2018, but it also has a great slice of life high school friendship story mixed with the perfect amount of urban fantasy to give its own unique atmosphere. I’d make the case that every character (aside from Kohaku) is a hard core Hufflepuff in their own way. Hitomi is quiet and dedicated without being an annoying protagonist, and her friends are all fun and supportive who are willing to ride or die with anything.

Carole and Tuesday: Did you think I’d make a list about shows with Hufflepuff core values and NOT include Carole and Tuesday? In case you’ve been living under a rock all year, this is a science fiction music anime about a rich runaway named Tuesday who meets a streetwise girl named Carole and immediately hit it off and start a band (and they’re super gay for each other). Together they work to find success in the AI dominated music industry….and also the whole thing takes place on Mars because it’s made by Shinichiro Watanabe (yes, the Cowboy Bebop guy).  

This anime hasn’t even finished airing yet, and it’s already one of the best shows of 2019. Both Carole and Tuesday are such Hufflepuffs it hurts. They care more about making music with each other and expressing their feelings in a fun way than clawing their way to the top. They work hard and are so loyal to their found family it makes me wish they were real people. Not to mention, both the animation and music in this anime are top notch. This show is the culmination of all things Hufflepuff all in one super creative package.

Fruits Basket: Okay, when I say Fruits Basket, I’m really talking about the 2019 version that’s actually following the manga, but a lot of what I’m saying applies to the original anime as well…it’s just not as good. That’s right, I said it. So, buckle up, because this one’s important.

For any younger anime fans out there who maybe haven’t been around since 2001, this is a slice of life show about a girl named Tooru Honda who has been living in a tent since the death of her mother, and eventually she’s taken in by the mysterious Sohma family who all harbor a dark secret…they can turn into animals from the zodiac when they’re hugged by someone of the opposite sex.

Hufflepuff is the most inclusive house there is, so I could write a thousand-page essay about why this show (and manga) is so amazing and what makes it a must watch for every single human being on Earth, anime fan or not. I don’t care what gender you are. I don’t care if you think “eh shoujo just isn’t for me.” I don’t care if you think you’re too cool for the purest, most wholesome show on the planet, you still need to watch it because everyone needs to learn to love themselves dang it!

I watched the original anime when I was just starting high school, and I liked it in general, but Tooru was kind of…a really irritating protagonist, and a lot of the messages it was trying to give just didn’t get through to me. As a young person, I just didn’t get why this show was so significant and formative for so many people. But now, as an adult with this remake, I can say that Fruits Basket and its core message is so ridiculously important that I can’t even describe it accurately. Yes, Tooru is a major Hufflepuff with her good-natured optimism and friendly hard-working personality. But it is so much more than a girl getting over her mother’s death with the help of a bizarre family. This is a show about love in every form imaginable. It’s about finding a reason to keep living even things are unimaginably difficult. It’s about how learning to love yourself as well as understanding that everyone is going through something, even the bad guys. Honestly though, this show (and more accurately the manga) is something I’d highly recommend to people thinking about suicide or going through severe depression, because it’s not exactly a light “forget about your problems” type of show. It’s more like…Dear Evan Hansen in that it addresses really difficult topics in a funny, clever way and you will feel like you’re worth something after seeing a few episodes. Anyway, please fucking watch Fruits Basket.

[imagine-loki]

of numbers and strange friendships

TITLE: Of Numbers and Strange Friendships CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 10/? AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki being friends with Peter Parker RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS: None so far.  Also on AO3 here

Peter’s tears eventually dried and he started to look embarrassed.  Loki couldn’t have that.  There was no need for him to be embarrassed over having emotions.  Loki smirked at him.  “So which Midgardian pastime would you like to enjoy this afternoon.  Fighting creatures?  Silly animated movies?” Loki asked, sounding put-upon and bored, though they both knew it was an act.  He wanted to spend the afternoon with Peter and wanted to make sure the arachnid was feeling better.  He’d missed his friend while he’d been gone and he was worried that Peter had been in the hospital of all places.

If Loki had anything to say about that, he wasn’t going to let that happen ever ever again.  

He would convince Aunt May to let him help Peter.

He would.  

No matter what it took.

He wouldn’t let Peter suffer.

So he summoned the screen to play old Disney movies and he and Peter sat against the headboard, playing Pokemon on Peter’s legit gameboy and Loki’s cloned one while they watched the movie.  

Both of them tried not to tear up at the little blue alien’s line “Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten,” 

Both of them failed.

Miserably.

And Loki remembered that Peter had faced more loss than anyone his age should ever have to.  About halfway through the second movie.  Some shakespearean remake with lions in which Loki too closely identified with the villain, the kid fell asleep.  He obviously hadn’t intended to, but Loki could tell he still wasn’t feeling well from the medication that had landed him in the hospital. 

Loki checked to make sure he was asleep and that Aunt May wasn’t bursting in at that moment.  Then he did something that he would never admit.  He let his hand shimmer to Jotun blue and placed it against the teen’s burning forehead.  Peter sighed in relief and sank further into much needed sleep.  Not at all thanks to Loki’s magic.

At least not that Loki would ever tell him.  

Loki stood from the bed and covered the teen with a blanket, making sure his friend would get some real restful sleep.  It was the best he could do for the moment.  Until he spoke with Aunt May.  

While the silly Midgardians may have considered it unmanly to take care of his friend in such a way, where Loki came from there was no shame in embracing fellow warriors.  There was no shame or fear in the mind of the warrior male. You fought side by side with them and were not ashamed to relax together. Platonically of course. Which is all Loki’s friendship with Peter would ever be.  Even if they were close.  It just wasn’t like that.  Would never be like that. 

He slipped from the room after he was sure Peter would sleep peacefully.  

Aunt May looked up from the couch when Loki entered the room.  “How is he?  Is he alright?” She asked concerned.  

Loki gave her a warm smile.  “He is just fine.  He fell asleep, so I was going to take my leave so he may rest.  However, there is something I wished to bring up to you.  Especially as he is still… underage?” He questioned the word, unsure if it was the correct one.

Aunt May looked understandably wary.  “You want to ask… my permission for something?” She confirmed what Loki was looking for.  

He gave her a tentative nod.  “Peter explained what has ailed him,” Loki started and paused, searching for the right words to get what he wanted, to be able to help his friend.  “I dislike seeing my friend so ill.  I know you do not usually approve of magical solutions to problems.  And I would not wish to make you uncomfortable.  But I thought, perhaps for his sake, you might be willing to make an exception.  He explained that his future is filled with more medication and a painful surgery that still will not completely correct that his body was born incorrect for his mind,” Loki steeled himself, knowing Aunt May didn’t particularly care for magic, and yet this was important.  He shifted to Lady Loki in front of her.  “I understand Peter’s condition more than you may have been aware, as I am neither male nor female, but can change between the two as I see fit due to my magic,” she changed back to the Loki Aunt May properly knew.  

“And you want to-?”

“I wish to save Peter from the surgery, from the medication and pain that will not properly fix the problem.  I wish, if you will please allow me, to give him the body he should have been born with.  I have the power and skill to do it.  And I swear on my mother, my brother, everything I hold dear, including your nephew,” he actually admitted to her how much his friendship with Peter meant “That no harm would come to him, and if he ever wishes to undo it, I would gladly do that for him,”

Aunt May looked completely shocked.  “You would do that for him?  You’d-?” She has no words, but Loki saw the adoration in her eyes.

Loki inclined his head.  “I would and I will.  I wish for him to be comfortable in his body,”

There were tears in her eyes.  “Please?  Please help him,” 

Loki inclined his head again, relieved.  “As soon as he is well,”

*

A few days later, Peter dropped by the tower after school and Loki gave him a bright smile.  “Good to see you among the living, arachnid,” he teased. 

Peter laughed.  “Yeah, finally got my meds sorted,” he replied.  “What’s the number today?”

“Three,” Loki replied automatically and stood.  

“Really?  That’s why Loki is such a jackass most of the time?  He’s a moody emo teen?” Stark was grumbling at Thor in the other room. He still didn’t approve of Loki’s friendship with Peter.  Even he would change his mind soon.

“Four,” Loki corrected, glaring in Stark’s direction. 

Peter laughed.  “So what are we up to today?”

Loki just smirked.  “Come, arachnid,” he told the teen and started for the elevator. “You don’t need your bag, or your suit,” he added. Peter rushed to catch up with him, Peter in his jeans and school t-shirt and Loki in his all black suit. As usual.  At least the press was getting used to the sight of seeing them together, so they didn’t draw too much undo press.

“Where are we going, Loki?” He asked.  He wasn’t going to argue.  He was just curious.

Loki grinned.  “You’ll see when we get there.” Peter shrugged and started telling Loki about his day and how his friends had been worried.  He told Loki about the upcoming dance and how he was thinking of asking MJ to it.  He told Loki of how he and Ned were going to build a huge lego kit together and Loki was totally welcome to join them.  He thought Loki would enjoy the activity and Loki agreed that it sounded enjoyable.  

They walked for awhile until they came to a building with a giant circular window at the top. “We are here to see a wizard.  I need to look at one of his spellbooks.  Do not hurt his books.  You can annoy the wizard as much as you like,” Loki told him with a smirk as they entered.  

There was an exasperated sigh from the top of the stairs a moment after they entered.  “Loki Odinson, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Strange asked, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Loki smirked at Peter.  “That’s the wizard.  Go annoy him, arachnid,” to Strange he said.  “I just need to reference a book, and then I will leave you be.” Loki left Peter to pester Strange with all sorts of annoying questions about being a wizard while he got the book he needed and looked up the last piece of information.  He may have trapped Wong upside down on the ceiling for the next three hours so Wong wouldn’t stop him from getting the book from the restricted section.  

He smiled and returned to the pair.  “Peter, time to stop annoying the wizard,” Loki told the still babbling teen.  Peter grinned and bounced over to him.  Strange placed his head in his hands and grumbled.  Loki turned to Peter.  “Stand there and Don’t. Move.” He told the teen and opened the spellbook.  A green circle of power surrounded the teen “Go away Strange,” he told the wizard. Your book and my friend are both perfectly safe and you do not wish to be here for this,”

Strange wisely decided to leave.  

And promptly told Stark that Loki was doing magic on Peter.  

Loki worked on his spell very carefully.  He wouldn’t risk messing this one up. “Loki?” Peter asked, concerned as the magic swirled around him.

“Hush. This will not hurt or harm you,” Loki told him, not looking up from, or interrupting his spell.  “And stop fidgeting,”

Loki completed the spell and vanished the book to its place in the library.  Peter looked over himself, expecting something until he flushed and realized that Loki’s spell hadn’t changed anything except giving him the male body he should have been born in.  He wasn’t taller or broader.  His body type hadn’t changed.  He was just male now, officially.  “You-?” Peter asked in disbelief.  Loki had asked him if he wanted this, a couple of days ago, but Peter hadn’t actually thought it would happen.

Loki inclined his head and Peter threw himself in Loki’s arms, hugging him tightly.  

The god’s arms wrapped around the Midgardian teen.  “I could not leave you to suffer, my friend.  Not when I could help.  Not when I could fix the problem,”

“Thank you isn’t enough,”

“It is more than plenty to have you healthy and happy,” Loki replied, his arms not loosening from around his friend.

[ohhicas]

Have you read Flash #66 yet?

thanks! I hate it!There’s such a thing as trying to cram Too Much old lore into a thing you’re attempting to remake and this is a good example! Pick and choose your battles, writers, otherwise you end up with this hot mess disaster

TBH, I could probably forgive all of this. ALL OF THIS. If they hadn’t made it so he wasn’t the smart one who came up with the shoes on his own. I can forgive a lot, I read comics I kind of have to forgive a lot.But not only did they possibly rip away his Italian heritage they made him just another idea thief which would work better on Axel’s plotline than James, who was suppose to be the OG who thought of it in the first place. Alone. With a book. In a circus tent. 

[ here’s some paraphrased Actual Reaction Convo i had with @hexedsupernova ]

RottenDeadpan: like this could all be forgiveable if they basically hadn’t just dumbed him way the fuck down by saying he STOLE his shit to learn to make the shoes and everythingoh im sorry can carnies not like, do shit on their own by self taught??

HexedSupernova: so! things we know now! james was still fbi, except he was fbi BEFORE axel came on the scene. countdown may or may not still be canon–oh yeah that pissed me way the fuck off too

RottenDeadpan: here’s too much missing for countdown to existbut also “stuck in IH for 5 years and nobody cared”What.

HexedSupernova: he apparently faked his dead after rejoining the rogues after being in the fbi…sounds like flash fma/countdown to metbh williamson seems like he’s trying to incorporate elements that no longer work with the new timeline.

RottenDeadpan: ALL of this is a hot ass messare they trying to pave the way for Billy by having him woo some random lady scientist? and steal her shit?? so therefore the mindy/james/billy dynamic is wrecked?or is that a CW pull with Prank?

HexedSupernova: if bart was never the flash, or even kid flash, then flash fma never happened. thus, james never would have been hunted in countdown and forced to “fake his death”i honestly think the lady scientist thing was a throwaway line to reassure the public that james is definitely Big Heterosexual

RottenDeadpan: also “nobody cares about you”/nobody knows where he is for 5 yearshis old friend, even in a no-homo way, in canon. One of his only actual Friend friends. Is dating a high ranking police official person I honestly have no idea what David’s title is anymore I s2g they just throw him into McCop position when neededyou’d think “hey is my friend like legit dead or” would come up, Wolfe or no Wolfe holdBUT I GUESS WE CAN’T EVEN HAVE NO HOMO FRIENDSHIPS

HexedSupernova: what if they were never friends to begin withalso i think james going legit straight and tricking neron is gone from canon

RottenDeadpan: yeah I lost ALL hope that Neron is an explanation for how batshit he isI’m sure they’ll pull the JLU card or somethingalso if that’s not a toy gun I s2fgof all the people to give a pistolYall gonna give JAMES one?

[honourablejester]

An extremely elaborate and specific LotR AU fanfic I’ve had in my head for years but will never write or request b/c it’s a trope I’m extremely finicky about:

A Sauron-less AU where Saruman has become the secret villain off his own bat, playing kingmaker and destroyer among the kingdoms of men for his own amusement, and seeking to remake the long-thought-destroyed orcs and goblins to use as hidden pawns to set men and elves and dwarves against each other.

Which plot starts on the road to discovery when he starts sending Uruk-Hai secretly into the relatively undefended Shire to kidnap hobbits to convert into goblins or other creatures, and for use as slaves.

Specifically, they take Merry and Pippin. Because guess which part of the Two Towers was my favourite plotline as a kid.

So an injured Merry and Pippin are taken captive and brought to Orthanc as slaves, where they meet Saruman and Wormtongue, who is still fulfilling his canon role as Saruman’s mole in Rohan. Merry, who was injured in their capture, is fading badly by this stage, so Pippin tries to manipulate Wormtongue into taking him and Saruman into letting him, figuring that Merry has to have a better chance in Rohan than he does among Uruk-Hai. He largely succeeds, though not without some cost, and Wormtongue takes an only-semi-aware Merry back to Edoras as his personal ‘man servant’.

Pippin, meanwhile, is kept prisoner a little longer, until a delegation from Minas Tirith arrives in Isengard at Saruman’s request. A delegation led by Steward Denethor’s eldest son, whom Saruman seeks to briefly placate with a little gift ...

Meanwhile to all of this, Saruman’s orcs have been attacking strategic settlements and parties to drive up tensions between the races, most particularly between Gondor and everyone else. The attacks on all their homelands and rising tensions cause a gathering in Rivendell among the Northern peoples. And one particular hobbit and his gardener, inspired by his uncle’s tales of the fairness and justice of the elves, make their way across Eriador to attend the summit and bring the big races’ attention to his kidnapped kinsfolk.

Most basically, I wanted slave!Pippin in Gondor and slave!Merry in Rohan, doing their best to survive, bring Saruman to the attention of the powers around them, and at some point reunite with each other. Merry develops a fast and wary friendship with Eowyn, two people alone and under threat in the madness King Theoden’s court has become. Pippin makes tentative inroads with Boromir, who is horrified at the nature of Saruman’s ‘gift’ but too loyal to his father and his kingdom to overtly reject it, but it’s Faramir and Beregond who truly forge bonds with him in Minas Tirith, while Boromir is sent out to ready for war with the North on his father’s behalf. As the Northern forces descend unwillingly southwards and the threat of war rises, it’s up to two small and extremely battered hobbits to derail a dark wizard’s plans.

Things I also wanted somewhere along the road with this idea:

Merry developing a really weird hate/sympathy towards Wormtongue after the man essentially saves his life/prevents him from dying in Isengard, and doing his best to both defeat his goals but also find a degree of mercy for him later, even though Grima’s treatment of Eowyn rapidly erodes much of his sympathy

Gandalf, spurred by Frodo and Sam into suspicion, starting to investigate the kingdoms of men specifically, searching for the source of the hostility, and it’s Merry’s captivity and Theoden’s possession that clues him into Saruman’s treachery in this universe

Boromir sensing the stink of corruption from Saruman, but Denethor is too far gone to the wizard’s (magically-strengthened) manipulations for him to do anything about it, and Boromir cannot let Gondor fall to her enemies, no matter how justified he increasingly fears they might be

Faramir having so much less stomach for Saruman and his father’s actions than his brother, not least because he is so much closer and bears more witness to Denethor’s contempt and ill-treatment of Pippin, and feels torn in two between morality and this evidence of his own ‘disloyalty’ to his family

Faramir eventually breaking and trying to help Pippin escape, but by mischance or manipulation they happen to land right in the middle of one of Saruman’s escalating orc attacks in the attempt. They’re both captured, and Saruman leverages the incident to portray Pippin as having led Faramir into an ‘elvish’ trap, seeking to use it to incite outright war between north and south

Actual elves (possibly Haldir leading a Lothlorien band south to seek the truth) rescuing-slash-capturing them, but not before Pippin has gotten himself slightly chewed upon trying to protect Faramir in apology for the attempt to free him having gotten the man captured, and Faramir is completely frantic for them to save him.

(Rescued, because they’re elves and good and fair and not inclined to eat people, Captured because Gondor is technically well on the way to being at war with everybody and Faramir is Denethor’s second son)

They’re brought north to the elven/dwarven/dunedain/rohirrim war camp gathering in the recently-liberated Rohan

Merry and Pippin reunite, extremely emotionally, and reconnect with Frodo and Sam as well

By which I mean, Pippin spots Merry and practically falls out of Haldir’s arms onto badly-chewed legs to try and get to him, while Faramir shouts hoarsely for Haldir to let him go. Which, incidentally, causes several people to look quite favourably on him

Boromir leads his father’s armies north towards the border as well, hearing reports that his captured brother truly is a prisoner among an elven army, and believing reluctantly and guiltily that Pippin truly has let Faramir be captured in vengeance for his slavery in Gondor

Pippin adamantly defending at the least Faramir and Boromir to the Council forces, and the ordinary Gondorian people as well, because he has friends among them and they’re good people, and Saruman is manipulating people left right and centre, and you cannot go to war with innocent people because of one asshole

The Council (and Faramir) being a bit amazed at his vehemence, given the evidence (and Faramir’s guilty admittance) of how badly he was treated

Gandalf knowing that it’s because once a hobbit decides he likes you, there is no force in Middle Earth that can persuade said hobbit otherwise, though there needs to be cause in the first place to earn their loyalty

Pippin panicking at the thought of war and cooking up a half-baked scheme to run back south and try and head Boromir off, explain the truth to him somehow. Merry joins him, because they’re not being parted again, and Merry knows all about going off half-cocked to protect your humans by now. Frodo and Sam follow because sod it. It is the worst ‘escape’ attempt in the history of hobbitdom, not least because Pippin himself can still barely walk, and in the end it’s Eowyn who scoops them up and masterminds an actual exit for them all

Eowyn is coming, because a) it’s the absolute least she feels she owes Merry, b) hobbits are extremely prone to getting themselves almost killed in her experience, c) she’s been warming up to what she’s seen of Faramir in his captivity/guesthood and doesn’t want him hurt, and d) if Boromir so much as looks funny at those she’s pledged her personal loyalty to she’s going rearrange his spleen for him

Gandalf knows full well what they’re doing but lets them go, because there’s no one better for stopping wars than hobbits, given motivation

Elrond possibly also knows what they’re doing, but is willing to let them try

Faramir is absolutely horrified and terrified that Boromir is going to feel he has to kill or harm them, and that after everything Pippin’s death is still going to be his fault

Theoden and Eomer are also horrified, and if your brother harms a hair on Eowyn’s head, my son, you are going to be in deep shit. But, also, not your fault. Hobbits do this. Trust us, we’d know better than almost anyone

The hobbits and Eowyn are … not exactly captured by the Gondorian army after basically planting themselves stubbornly in their path, but they’re brought to Boromir under guard and not exactly friendly circumstances

Boromir has no idea how to feel about Pippin, angry or betrayed or frantic or guilty, and it’s so much worse seeing him among his own people, with Merry in particular, who Boromir knows Pippin spent all his time with them hoping wasn’t dead. But Pippin led to the capture and possible death of Boromir’s brother, and even if it’s their own fault, Boromir cannot forgive him that

It goes badly, it goes so badly, with shouting and violence and threats from all corners, until Pippin in a fit of tearful frustration rips one of his trouser legs off to show Boromir his wounds. Neither elves nor men leave teeth-marks when they hurt people. The orcs did this. Saruman did this. Boromir knows this. He’s always known it. Yes, Faramir is a prisoner of the northern forces, but they’re not the real enemy, doesn’t he know that, can’t he see it? You can’t let this happen, Boromir. You can’t.

And Boromir does know it. He knew it from the moment Saruman offered him a slave as a welcoming gift, and the moment his father not only allowed it but welcomed it. He’s known from the beginning that there was something rotten in the state of Denmark, but it was his kingdom, his father, what would they have him do? To treat with them would be treason, even to save his brother’s life. Beregond, back in Minas Tirith, is already imprisoned for what was believed to be his role in letting Pippin take Faramir. He is sentenced to death upon Boromir’s return

This nearly kills Pippin to hear. It nearly snaps him in two

Eowyn saves them. Again. She knows, she does know how Boromir feels. She knows what it is to have a father/father figure lost to Saruman’s control. She knows what it is to betray them to save them. But they cannot let this go on. To fight on Denethor’s behalf would only be to betray him in truth, and leave him, and his people behind him, enslaved to the wizard’s will. From what she has seen of his brother and him, surely they have more courage and honour than that?

And, in the end, no more than his brother, Boromir cannot ignore his conscience long. Not even for family. Not even for the father he loves.

Boromir agrees to travel with the group and a small honour guard north to meet with the Council forces, leaving his armies waiting under trusted commanders between Minas Tirith and any northern forces should he be betrayed and not return

They meet near the Falls of Rauros, because of course they do, where else would I have them meet?

Boromir reunites with his brother and, though hardened and guilty and suspicious of all around them, they meet in earnest with the Council to discuss evidence of Saruman’s treachery and the appropriate responses thereto

The bulk of the arrayed northern armies will turn towards Isengard, to destroy Saruman and his orcs once and for all

Theoden and Rohan will stand the bulwark between all forces, maintaining the peace until the threat is removed one way or the other. They have suffered under Saruman’s thrall. Of all nations represented, they will not bend to his manipulations again

Gandalf initially meant to go to Isengard as well, to guard their forces against Saruman’s magic, and to make Saruman answer for what he has done. However, another mission comes up concurrently which he believes requires him more, so he leaves Saruman to the justice of Elrond and Galadriel, in order to shepherd …

… four certain hobbits, two heirs to Gondor, one heir to Rohan, and perhaps a certain Hunters Three to Minas Tirith, because Beregond is sentenced to death, and Pippin will actually die before he lets that happen, and Merry and Faramir in particular will die before they let that happen, and everyone else is perforce along for the ride

And maybe, if they can, they might save Denethor from Saruman’s influence along the way

Also, possibly reveal and crown a new/old king along the way (hi Strider!), to draw Gondor forward from the pall of treachery and manipulation it has fallen to. Though for his own part, Aragorn sees little wrong with the heirs Gondor already has

… Yeah. I’ve not had this stewing in my brain for a literal decade, not at all. Can you tell which canon storylines bashed their way all the way inside my heart, way back when? Heh. It’s too big and unwieldy inside my head to ever be written at this stage, and I’m very, very particular when it comes to slavery in fics, but … I do sometimes wish I had the stamina for it. I really, really do.

(Who am I kidding, I never had the stamina for this, but a girl can dream)

[laughterbynight]

@faesbeforebaes

“ fantasy, romance, action, something funny.” :

Note: Some of these have manga and anime adaptations. I’ll list one or the other if I don’t think it’s worth visiting both versions. For anime you might see “Dub” or “Sub”. Dub = English VAs Sub = Stick with the Japanese VAs and read the subtitles. Sometimes it really does make a HUGE difference.

Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon (90s anime & manga) SUB

Tsukino Usagi is 14-year-old and in her second year of middle school. She's a bit of a crybaby and klutzy. However, she can transform into a warrior of justice, Sailormoon! An eternal classic.

[I can’t imagine you haven’t seen this show somewhere but just in case, it really is worth the hype imo. The manga is my favorite version (so fecking pretty) but the SUB for the 90′s anime is also pretty great. Mind you I have nostalgia goggles for this one. The romance is a hardcore element here. Like, everything comes back to it. The movies from the 90s are also worth your time. Not really related to the series plot wise but they’re pretty and sweet. The remake is a mess, don’t do it. I should note that Mamoru only really has a great characterization in the manga. He’s never really the main focus anyway, but it’s easier to see why the manga version is attractive.]

Fruits Basket (anime & manga) DUB

Tohru Honda is an orphan with nowhere to go but a tent in the woods, until the Souma family takes her in. However, the Souma family is no ordinary family, and they hide a grave secret: when they are hugged by someone of the opposite gender, they turn into animals from the Chinese Zodiac! Now, Tohru must help Kyou and Yuki Souma hide their curse from their classmates, as well as her friends Arisa Uotani and Megumi Hanajima. As she is drawn further into the mysterious world of the Soumas, she meets more of the family, forging friendships along the way.

[ The Dub for this one is actually pretty great. I think it’s worth visiting both versions of the story (they split off in a big way at one point) but anime Tohru can be a bit much until you get used to her. I would say the anime stays more lighthearted while the manga gets fucking dark at later points.]

Beyond the Boundary (anime) SUB

Mirai Kuriyama is the sole survivor of a clan of Spirit World warriors with the power to employ their blood as weapons. As such, Mirai is tasked with hunting down and killing "youmu"—creatures said to be the manifestation of negative human emotions. One day, while deep in thought on the school roof, Mirai comes across Akihito Kanbara, a rare half-breed of youmu in human form. In a panicked state, she plunges her blood saber into him only to realize that he's an immortal being. From then on, the two form an impromptu friendship that revolves around Mirai constantly trying to kill Akihito, in an effort to boost her own wavering confidence as a Spirit World warrior. Eventually, Akihito also manages to convince her to join the Literary Club, which houses two other powerful Spirit World warriors, Hiroomi and Mitsuki Nase. As the group's bond strengthens, however, so does the tenacity of the youmu around them. Their misadventures will soon turn into a fight for survival as the inevitable release of the most powerful youmu, Beyond the Boundary, approaches.

[Not too much to say about this one other than I found it really charming. Totally hooked me. Also not incredibly long so it’s a good short term investment. Feels.]

Kamisama Hajimemashita (anime & manga) SUB

Nanami Momozono is alone and homeless after her dad skips town to evade his gambling debts and the debt collectors kick her out of her apartment. So when a man she's just saved from a dog offers her his home, she jumps at the opportunity. But it turns out that his place is a shrine, and Nanami has unwittingly taken over his job as a local deity!

[Okay, real talk. This is probably one of my favorite stories. I just adore everything about it. It hits a lot of beats for me. Easily on the top of my list. Highly recommended given our shared interests. Both versions have unique bits worth covering. The anime just couldn’t cram all of the manga into the story. That said, starting with the anime is probably a good idea. There is a bit with gender that rubs me the wrong way with one of the gods, and I can only assume that has to do with gender politics in japan??? It’s always struck me as strange but it’s also not a huge part of the story.]

Ouran High School Host Club(anime & manga) SUB

Haruhi Fujioka is a bright scholarship candidate with no rank or title to speak of—a rare species at Ouran High School, an elite academy for students of high pedigree. When she opens the door to Music Room #3 hoping to find a quiet place to study, Haruhi unexpectedly stumbles upon the Host Club. Led by the princely Tamaki, the club—whose other members include the "Shadow King" Kyouya, the mischievous Hitachiin twins, and the childlike Haninozuka "Honey" and his strong protector Mori—is where handsome boys with too much time on their hands entertain the girls in the academy. In a frantic attempt to remove herself from the hosts, Haruhi ends up breaking a vase worth eight million yen and is forced into becoming the eccentric group's general errand boy to repay her enormous debt. However, thanks to her convincingly masculine appearance, her naturally genial disposition toward girls, and fascinating commoner status, she is soon promoted to full-time male host and plunged headlong into a glitzy whirlwind of elaborate cosplays, rich food, and exciting shenanigans that only the immensely wealthy Ouran Host Club can pull off.

[More than anything this one is just funny. I could take or leave the manga, but some people love it so I kept it here. Start with the anime to get a feel for it. Also, everyone who isn’t familiar with it freaks out about the twins at first. It’s a ruse. Don’t worry. The short of it, “Yes they’re idiots, but they’re MY idiots.”]

Cowboy Bebop (anime) DUB

In the year 2071, humanity has colonized several of the planets and moons of the solar system leaving the now uninhabitable surface of planet Earth behind. The Inter Solar System Police attempts to keep peace in the galaxy, aided in part by outlaw bounty hunters, referred to as "Cowboys." The ragtag team aboard the spaceship Bebop are two such individuals. Mellow and carefree Spike Spiegel is balanced by his boisterous, pragmatic partner Jet Black as the pair makes a living chasing bounties and collecting rewards. Thrown off course by the addition of new members that they meet in their travels—Ein, a genetically engineered, highly intelligent Welsh Corgi; femme fatale Faye Valentine, an enigmatic trickster with memory loss; and the strange computer whiz kid Edward Wong—the crew embarks on thrilling adventures that unravel each member's dark and mysterious past little by little.

[Honestly this one is here because it’s fucking cowboy bebop. It does hit on the elements you listed at different points, but really it’s just a masterpiece of the medium. And fuck me that soundtrack.]

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun SUB

Chiyo Sakura is a cheerful high school girl who has fallen head over heels for the oblivious Umetarou Nozaki. Much to Chiyo's confusion, when she confesses to her beloved Nozaki, he hands her an unfamiliar autograph. As it turns out, the stoic teenage boy is actually a respected shoujo mangaka, publishing under the pen name Sakiko Yumeno! A series of misunderstandings leads to Chiyo becoming one of Nozaki's manga assistants. Throughout the hilarious events that ensue, she befriends many of her quirky schoolmates, including her seemingly shameless fellow assistant, Mikoto Mikoshiba, and the "Prince of the School," Yuu Kashima. Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun follows Chiyo as she strives to help Nozaki with his manga and hopes that he will eventually notice her feelings.

[This one is just cute and makes me laugh. Great supporting cast. It’s basically expectations vs reality- the anime. Fucking idiots...I love them.]

Akatsuki no Yona (anime & manga) SUB

Princess Yona lives a life of luxury and ease, completely sheltered from the problems of the seemingly peaceful Kingdom of Kouka; however, the sudden murder of the king and betrayal of her beloved cousin Su-won places Yona's life in mortal peril. Forced to escape only with Son Hak, who is both her childhood friend and bodyguard, the naïve princess soon discovers that Kouka is not the idyllic place she envisioned it to be. Poverty, strife, and corruption run rampant, making reclaiming the throne nothing more than a wishful fantasy given the kingdom's current state.

[If you’re like me you’ll want to shake Yona out of it in those first two-three episodes but I promise her character growth is amazing. I’m so down for it. This is one of the few shows where I really feel it when a character comes into her own. I’m particularly impressed with Yona’s va when it comes to dealing with some of the more heart wrenching moments. Hak’s character will probably seem familiar after sjm’s books. He fits into that character type pretty well. total bae. The manga is ongoing so for now try out the anime to see if you like it. More idiots that I love.]

Mahoutsukai no Yome (anime & manga) SUB

Chise Hatori, a 15-year-old Japanese girl, was sold for five million pounds at an auction to a tall masked gentleman. Abandoned at a young age and ridiculed by her peers for her unconventional behavior, she was ready to give herself to any buyer if it meant having a place to go home to. In chains and on her way to an unknown fate, she hears whispers from robed men along her path, gossiping and complaining that such a buyer got his hands on a rare "Sleigh Beggy." Ignoring the murmurs, the mysterious man leads the girl to a study, where he reveals himself to be Elias Ainsworth—a magus. After a brief confrontation and a bit of teleportation magic, the two open their eyes to Elias' picturesque cottage in rural England. Greeted by fairies and surrounded by weird and wonderful beings upon her arrival, these events mark the beginning of Chise's story as the apprentice and supposed bride of the ancient magus.

[I’m unsure about this one. It technically hits a lot of beats for me but it also misses the mark sometimes. Not fantastic pacing imo but I think it’s worth checking out to see if it’s your thing. I actually think the manga does a better job here but the anime will give you a quick feel for it. If you’re knowledgeable about any of the critters that come from the folklore used in this story you might be bugged by some inaccuracies.]

Noragami (anime) SUB Yato is a minor deity and a self-proclaimed "Delivery God," who dreams of having millions of worshippers. Without a single shrine dedicated to his name, however, his goals are far from being realized. He spends his days doing odd jobs for five yen apiece, until his weapon partner becomes fed up with her useless master and deserts him. Just as things seem to be looking grim for the god, his fortune changes when a middle school girl, Hiyori Iki, supposedly saves Yato from a car accident, taking the hit for him. Remarkably, she survives, but the event has caused her soul to become loose and hence able to leave her body. Hiyori demands that Yato return her to normal, but upon learning that he needs a new partner to do so, reluctantly agrees to help him find one. And with Hiyori's help, Yato's luck may finally be turning around.

[This one gives me rather unexpected warm and fuzzies a lot. The manga is ongoing from what I understand so the anime doesn’t feel complete, but it’s a good ride.]

InuYasha (anime & manga) DUB

Based on the Shogakukan award-winning manga of the same name, InuYasha follows Kagome Higurashi, a fifteen-year-old girl whose normal life ends when a demon drags her into a cursed well on the grounds of her family's Shinto shrine. Instead of hitting the bottom of the well, Kagome ends up 500 years in the past during Japan's violent Sengoku period with the demon's true target, a wish-granting jewel called the Shikon Jewel, reborn inside of her.

[sigh...okay, this one is here because it fits the bill but all versions are a hell of a time investment and I’m not sure the payoff is worth it. Controversial maybe, but I gotta be honest. Massive fandom so be careful.]

Howl’s Moving Castle (Miyazaki Film) DUB

That jumbled piece of architecture, that cacophony of hissing steam and creaking joints, with smoke billowing from it as it moves on its own... That castle is home to the magnificent wizard Howl, infamous for both his magical prowess and for being a womanizer—or so the rumor goes in Sophie Hatter's small town. Sophie, as the plain daughter of a hatmaker, does not expect much from her future and is content with working hard in the shop. However, Sophie's simple life takes a turn for the exciting when she is ensnared in a disturbing situation, and the mysterious wizard appears to rescue her. Unfortunately, this encounter, brief as it may be, spurs the vain and vengeful Witch of the Waste—in a fit of jealousy caused by a past discord with Howl—to put a curse on the maiden, turning her into an old woman.

[So fucking romantic omfg. I am WEAK for this movie. Sweet jesus...]

Slayers (Anime:Seasons 1, 2, 3) dear god the SUB

Powerful, avaricious sorceress Lina Inverse travels around the world, stealing treasures from bandits who cross her path. Her latest victims, a band of thieves, wait in ambush in a forest, thirsting for revenge. When Lina is about to effortlessly pummel her would-be attackers, the swordsman Gourry Gabriev suddenly announces his presence. Assuming Lina to be a damsel in distress, the foolish yet magnanimous man confronts the brigands in order to rescue her. After defeating them posthaste, the oblivious cavalier decides to escort Lina to Atlas City. Though not very keen on this idea, she ends up accepting his offer. However, without realizing it, Lina has chanced upon a mighty magical item among her most recent spoils. Now two mysterious men are hunting the young magician and her self-proclaimed guardian to obtain this powerful object for apparently nefarious purposes. This way they begin their adventure, one where the fate of the world itself may be at stake.

[Probably the most consistently funny anime I have ever seen. THREE seasons of this shit. 90s again, so some of it is dated but I still regularly watch because it’s hysterical to me. The main protag Lina is a dead ringer for Aelin. No joke. To the point where I was thinking about this anime while reading tog. I’m convinced she shaped Aelin a little bit through Sarah since she mentioned watching anime as a kid. Lina is probably one of my favorite female characters across any medium. There are movies and a manga but they follow a totally different storyline and have different characters. The TV series is where it really shines imo.The sub is really a must with this one. The dub VAs are all skilled people but the tone is very different. I’m not sure how or why but you miss a lot of the chaotic energy with the dub.]

Millennium Actress (Film) SUB

At the turn of the millennium, Ginei Studio's dilapidated buildings are set to be demolished. Ex-employee and filmmaker Genya Tachibana decides to honor this occasion with a commemorative documentary about the company's star actress: Chiyoko Fujiwara, the reclusive sweetheart of Shouwa Era cinema. Having finally obtained permission to interview the retired starlet, an enamored Genya drags along cynical cameraman Kyouji Ida to meet her, ready to put his lifelong idol back in the spotlight once more. Hidden in this secluded mountain retreat is a thousand years of history condensed into one lifetime, waiting to be narrated. Chiyoko's recollections take them on an illusionary journey through Japanese cinematic history that transcends the boundaries of reality; the saga of her acting career intertwines with her filmography, the actors in her life blend seamlessly with the characters on screen, and the present melds with the past. Though the actress may have retired at the height of her career 30 years ago, the curtain on her life's stage has yet to fall.

[Oooh boy, feels. So many feels. I cried so skip it if you don’t want anything to do with that. It’s sooooo good but omg.]

Escaflowne (Film/Anime) DUB or SUB

Movie:Hitomi Kanzaki is in a very depressed mood. She only wants to sleep and fade away. Her misery summons Lord Folken who sends her to Gaea. The people of Gaea think she is the Wing Goddess, who can call upon the legendary Dragon Armor called Escaflowne. On Gaea, King Van, the sole survior of the White Dragon Clan, is also in a depressed state. Swearing an oath to get his revenge on the Black Dragon Clan that obliterated Van's kingdom, he lives by the sword. Now that the Wing Goddess has finally appeared, she posseses Gaea's world fate in her heart. Escaflowne will either lead Gaea to peace or total ruin.

Series: Hitomi Kanzaki is just an ordinary 15-year-old schoolgirl with an interest in tarot cards and fortune telling, but one night, a boy named Van Fanel suddenly appears from the sky along with a vicious dragon. Thanks to a premonition from Hitomi, Van successfully kills the dragon, but a pillar of light appears and envelopes them both. As a result, Hitomi finds herself transported to the world of Gaea, a mysterious land where the Earth hangs in the sky.

[I’m a fan of both versions for different reasons. As you can see the plot is fairly different between the movie and the series. Back when suncoast was a thing I went back three times trying to get a working copy of the movie since a shipping issue damaged most of the stock. That whole ordeal still sticks with me but I’m so glad I have this movie. The series is about 26 episodes I believe, so the movie is a good place to test the waters.]

Hana Kimi (manga)

Japanese-American track-and-field star Mizuki has gotten herself to transfer to a high school in Japan...but not just any school! To be close to her idol, high jumper Izumi Sano, she's going to an all-guys' high school...and disguising herself as a boy! But as fate would have it, they're more than classmates...they're roommates! Now, Mizuki must keep her secret in the classroom, the locker room, and her own bedroom. And her classmates—and the school nurse—must cope with a new transfer student who may make them question their own orientation...

[More nostalgia goggles but honestly this one is still great fun. It sounds like a trope and a half and it is. I’d wager it’s probably one of the codifiers. Very silly but heartfelt. I bought the whole manga and still go back to it. There are a few different live action tv shows...don’t bother. Well, there’s one that’s pretty good but really the manga is where it’s at.]

Yuri on Ice (anime) SUB

Reeling from his crushing defeat at the Grand Prix Finale, Yuuri Katsuki, once Japan's most promising figure skater, returns to his family home to assess his options for the future. At age 23, Yuuri's window for success in skating is closing rapidly, and his love of pork cutlets and aptitude for gaining weight are not helping either. However, Yuuri finds himself in the spotlight when a video of him performing a routine previously executed by five-time world champion, Victor Nikiforov, suddenly goes viral. In fact, Victor himself abruptly appears at Yuuri's house and offers to be his mentor. As one of his biggest fans, Yuuri eagerly accepts, kicking off his journey to make it back onto the world stage. But the competition is fierce, as the rising star from Russia, Yuri Plisetsky, is relentlessly determined to defeat Yuuri and win back Victor's tutelage.

[I’m positive you’ve seen this one crash websites when it was airing. Crunchyroll couldn’t even handle the traffic. It’s VERY good imo. One of the few times I’ve seen a real relationship play out between two men that wasn’t turned into wank fodder. STILL waiting on that damn movie too. AHEM. Highly recommended. I mean there’s a little fanservice but nothing much compared to the usual with anime. Basically everyone is extra AF.]

Doukyuusei (movie & manga) SUB

Hikaru Kusakabe is an ordinary teenager; he has a band, smokes, goes to parties, and enjoys his youth to the fullest. His classmate Rihito Sajou, on the other hand, is his complete antithesis; Rihito is an honor student who is always at the top of the class, and he received a perfect score in his high school entrance exam. During rehearsal for a chorus festival, Kusakabe notices that Sajou is not singing and offers to help him practice. They start meeting every day after class to train. Because of this, even with completely different personalities, the two boys begin growing closer and developing feelings for each other.

[This one is just really sweet and silly. I find myself rewatching it for fun. I can’t remember if the manga is finished or not but I think the movie can stand alone. It sticks out more in my mind.]

Mother fucker that took a while. I’ll slip in some link when I have the time. There are more but I think these are a good starting point.

[soft-sarcasm]

37. “There was nothing “friendly” about that kiss.”

Pairing: choi hansol x reader.

Request: Annoynomous: 37+ vernon.

Genre: fluff, I guess??

Word count: 700+.

a/n: so this is my first attempt at a drabble, I hope you enjoy this thank you so much for requesting.

request a drabble.

Within the four, painfully bland walls of your room, it’s easy to picture yourself as an island; bobbing amongst the waves of reality, unmoveable and undisturbed despite the constant push and pull of the surrounding ocean. It is easier to say hidden within the shrubbery of your detached hideaway than the alternative which would mean venturing outside of your tediously tiny, single dorm room and would subsequently remake you into a part of the mainland that is society. No, you much rather stay cooped up in here, warm, isolated and not having to truly face the ramifications of your incredible fuck-up.

Yeah, you’d stay on your island of false tranquillity for a little longer- maybe a day more, maybe even a week, perhaps for the rest of your life.

Then, in a sort of ironic contradiction played by the universe, a small boat of intrusion landed on the shore of your island in the form of a single knock. The sound was deafening as it shuddered through your bones but that was nothing compared to the sickening sink of your stomach when there was a voice to follow the knock.

“I know you’re in there,” Came the ever gentle, ever understanding voice that bled through the wood of your door and he felt so close that it was as if he was right beside you, huddled alongside you under the duvet of your bed. “Just please- let me in.”

You now had a decision to make; if you opened that door, you were going to either be greeted by an invader that would pillage the shores of your sense of dignity and pride, or you would be letting in a tentative explorer, one that was just as curious about the current predicament as you were. You found yourself near shaking, legs shifting like sand beneath you as they moved on instinct, the hand that jutted out on instinct to pull open the door making your decision for you.

Hansol stood there before you, presence as fresh as a costal breeze, eyes alight like crystal ripples of water and it was difficult to breathe under the weight of seeing him after everything. “Hey.”

“Hey,” You repeated, taking a step fact as if you feared that the grey clouds of doubt that now seemed to haunt you island of isolation would breach the near-eternal tropical sunshine that radiated off of Hansol.

“Are you ready to talk?” He questioned after a moment, a tangible sense of anxiety beginning to drip from him as he shifted from foot to foot, shoving his hands into his pocket so that they had a purchase rather than dangling on your side.

“Not really,” You admitted, sheepish under the intense warm hazel of his gaze.

“Then can I talk?” He proposed, taking a step closer which resulted in you, in turn, taking one back so that you were now further within the confines of your room that you had only moments ago been hiding away in from the very person that now stood before you. You nodded because despite all your worries and denials; you wanted to know. “So; we kissed.”

You winced at the directness of his statement, the memory of far too many cans of cheap beer, a sofa in the back of Seungkwan’s apartment, flirty giggles, tentative touches and then the pressing of lips, the tangling of tongues; a monumental fuck-up. “Yes.”

“And you can say whatever the fuck you want about friendship and shit like that. There was nothing “friendly” about that kiss.” Hansol stated, his stare never wavering though yours bounced frantically around at everything and anything but him. “And truthfully; I’m okay with that.”

You blinked in confusion, choosing to meet his gaze in hopes that you would somehow find your answer there, “I don’t- I don’t understand.”

Hansol’s hand was now reaching to grasp yours, “I want to kiss you idiot, and not in a ‘friendly’ way and trust me, I know how weird that just sounded. I’d also like to date you if that’s okay.”

You felt the clouds slightly part as Hansol’s warmth begun to peak through and you stepped forward to seal your lips with his; and this time, the tone in which was indisputable.

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @lucyxshadow!

Here’s a short fic for you! With a bit of something from my neck of the woods ;)

I hope you have a very happy Christmas, and wishing you and your family lots of joy and warmth this holiday season.

Read on AO3

*****

We'll Remake The World in Our Own Image 

Other than a few bad memories that will be etched into his memory for as long as he lives, Magnus remembers very little from his boyhood in Batavia.

He knows he was born in December, during the monsoon season - endless rain that swept through the trees and pitter-pattered throughout the night in the kind of intensity one only ever gets in the tropics, while the geckos or chik-chak chittered from hidden places in the eaves. When he was a little older, he would sneak into the servants' quarters, and they would share deep-fried laron with him - flying termites, driven out of their underground nests by the flooding rain and drawn into the house by the candlelight. (Then his human father found out, and was so disgusted that they were feeding his son insects that he beat the servants black-and-blue, and that was the end of that, and the end of his tentative friendship with the servants.)

He remembers playing among the tall walnut and tamarind trees in the well-curated gardens of Bovenstad, the elite Dutch residential area in Batavia where he lived with his mother and human father. He remembers his mother telling him Javanese folktales at bedtime, her favourite being that of Timun Mas, whose mother had so longed for a child that she made a deal with an ogre. (This strikes Magnus as ironic later in life, because his mother, too, had longed and prayed for a child, and had her prayers answered by something monstrous.) He remembers that his mother called him sayang - beloved.

December is a complicated month for Magnus, emotionally. He doesn't celebrate his birthday, not anymore. They celebrated Christmas as a child in deference to his father's wishes, so Magnus doesn't celebrate that anymore either. (Although any excuse to buy presents for the few people he holds dear to his heart is as good an excuse as any to go shopping, so Magnus has no problems with the gift-giving part of Christmas.) The month of December holds, at once, too much meaning and very little meaning for Magnus.

Thankfully, Alec seems just as disinterested in the holiday festivities that have taken over every shop window and planted carollers on what feels like every street corner in New York City. Magnus supposes shadowhunters aren't generally very big on holidays since demons don't have the basic courtesy to give everybody a break during the holiday season. Previously, with some of the other people he's dated, Christmas time came with expectations - of romance and presents and cuddling in front of a fire while the snow falls outside, none of which Magnus is in the mood for because of his convoluted personal history. Honestly, Magnus is a little bit relieved that Alec isn't going to expect a big production out of this, their first Christmas together.

When he comes home one day to find Alec busy in the kitchen with several takeout bags on the counter, the dining table set with the good silver and candles, a bottle of champagne sitting in a bucket of ice, Magnus feels his stomach dropping sickeningly, his heartbeat speeding up, and not with the excitement that usually comes from finding his boyfriend home unexpectedly early. It's over two weeks before Christmas, and worse, it happens to be... There's no way Alec found out, he knows this information is not in the Institute's database, and not even Catarina knows-

"What's all this about?" Magnus asks lightly, with a cheerfulness he does not really feel.

Alec startles, and Magnus is amused despite his current turmoil of emotions - it's not easy to sneak up on his shadowhunter. Alec must really have been concentrating on whatever he was doing.

Alec flashes him a smile and walks over to press a gentle kiss to Magnus' lips. "Hey. I didn't expect you to be home so early."

"Well, if you wanted to surprise me, consider me still pleasantly surprised," Magnus tells him.

Alec smiles shyly and goes back to unpacking the eclectic mix of stuff he has bought - bacon burgers from that place in East Village that Alec likes, a spread of appetisers from Cocoron, a Japanese restaurant in lower Manhattan they'd visited once together, and takeout bags Magnus recognises as coming from that place that makes trdelnik almost as well as the best street vendors in Prague.

"It's been three months since our first date. We've been together for exactly three months today, if we include the couple of days when we were... fighting," Alec says, face turned away and hands busy, and Magnus realises that Alec is nervous. "I just thought... we could have a little celebration."

Magnus blinks. Three months? Three months is not much for someone centuries-old, and even for mortals Magnus is pretty sure three months is like a mere blip in the average lifetime. But Alec thinks that being together for three months warrants breaking out the champagne? Magnus can't help but feel charmed.

Granted, it certainly feels a lot longer than three months. And when the two people in a relationship are also the High Warlock of Brooklyn and the Head of the New York Institute, their relationship problems have included impending war, mass genocide by a xenophobic psychopath, too many demons to count, and the raising of the Angel Raziel. They have been through a lot together, in a very short span of time.

As an immortal, time is a nebulous thing for Magnus. Days and weeks can go by in the blink of an eye. There are stretches of years where Magnus can't for the life of him remember anything that happened during that period. But when he is with Alec, Magnus' whole life seems to fall in sync with the shadowhunter - every second, every heartbeat. He has never felt so keenly the idea of now, never been so firmly present in the idea of here.

Magnus watches Alec clumsily attempting to plate the food he's bought in some sort of artistic arrangement, and he feels even more charmed.

"Sorry," Alec says after surveying his own handiwork, laughing a little at himself.

"I think it's perfect," Magnus tells him softly, and he thinks it was worth going through every heartbreak and every sorrow to find himself finally here, watching Alec's face light up.

They have dinner, finishing off with champagne, trdelnik and good vanilla ice cream. They tell each other about their day, share a few laughs over some mischief Max got into. They watch something on the television together, something horribly twee and Christmasy that makes Alec roll his eyes at least four times, and then they go to sleep with their arms wrapped around each other. It's the best birthday Magnus has had in centuries.

Perhaps, Magnus thinks, every day can be remade into something different, now that Alexander is here to make new memories with him.

[barduil]

B’S FIC LIST

It’s been a while since my last multi-fandom fic list, so I thought I’d remake one. I didn’t include anything from before 2016 except one fic since they’re all… pretty bad, I mean it was my first year of writing, so yeah… but anyway! 

This list includes all the stories of mine I think are worth sharing, in chronological order, as well as the fanarts and/or aesthetics that go with them :) There’s quite a wide variety of settings and tropes, so if you’re new to my writing, you should hopefully find something that pleases you! Here we go!

** are personal favourites

THE HOBBIT

Petrichor (Bard/Thranduil) 14.5k, General Audiences, reincarnation, modern world, bookstore, books and cats • aesthetic, fanart 1, fanart 2, fanart 3, fanart 4

It's been six thousand years since Thranduil last laid eyes on his husband - Bard. The world has changed and the great Elvenking with it, lingering in the shadows of Men; as hope for a miracle festers within his heart that grows weaker with every passing day, the only thing keeping him going is a promise he made, many moons ago.

Those Colours We Share (Bard/Thranduil) 84.7k, Mature, soulmates, slow burn, 50s, post-war, animal shelter, sexual content • aesthetic (links to fanarts included in the caption) 

Had anyone told them, Thranduil Oropherion and Bard Bowman would never have believed they would see the world painted in colours again. Until that fateful day of December 1956, when one little boy entered a former soldier's animal shelter.

Forgotten Roads (Bard/Thranduil) 61.8k, Teen and Up Audiences, fantasy, roadtrip, creatures, shapeshifting, slow burn, asexual characters • aesthetic, fanart

When Bard's secret was revealed, he had no choice but to accept exile. Sent away with no hopes of ever being trusted or seeing his children again, Bard wandered across the country without purpose. Now comes a man with the promise of a new life at the end of a long journey, should he accept the stranger's request: to lead him through lands and dangers long forgotten, in quest of hope long lost.

Somewhere Only We Know** (Bard/Thranduil) 10.6k, General Audiences, Middle-earth, past major character death, fix-it • aesthetic 1, fanart 1, fanart 2, fanart 3

When the eighteenth month since Bard's death comes, Thranduil wakes on a strange feeling. He follows a mysterious blue orb through the ill trees of his forest, where he is shown precious memories of his ephemeral time with Bard. But is it a trick of his mind, a dream, or reality?

Crimson Water (Bard/Thranduil) 30.8k, Teen and Up Audiences, merpeople, merman Bard, childhood friends, forbidden friendship, forbidden love • aesthetic, fanart

“You're different,” it added, tilting its head slightly to the side. Thranduil meant to answer, but in one swift movement it turned, and disappeared under the water.

Bright Eyes (Bard/Thranduil) 2.7k, General Audiences, soulmates, tooth-rotting fluff, sequel to Those Colours We Share • aesthetic

Tilda bakes cake, Thranduil sings Disney songs, and Bard slow dances with an unusual partner.

hope, lost and found again, by the forgotten lake (Bard/Thranduil) 9.1k, General Audiences, fairy tales elements, centaur Thranduil

“Are you real?” Bard eventually asked, eyes wide. He held up his hand, and from the tip of his finger, poked at the centaur’s flank.

what was found and lost behind** (Bard/Thranduil) 11.3k, Teen and Up Audiences, post-war, 30s, reunions, father-daughter relationship, happy ending • aesthetic, fanart 1, fanart 2

Bard's been followed by ghosts all his life. When he and his family move to London, he doesn't expect one of those ghosts to come back from the dead—nor to be faced with his past, long concealed in a forgotten, old journal.

Warm, Cracked Hearts (Bard & his kids) 2.1k, General Audiences, character study, family, asexual character, angst, anxiety

One cold evening of winter, Bard faces the worries of his children. 

What We Want (Bard/Thranduil) 4.7k, General Audiences, university, asexual characters, slice of life, fluff, angst? I don’t know her, slow burn

Bard couldn’t be seriously annoyed with the project—he was glad something had allowed them the possibility of becoming friends. Even if it was something as frustrating as a huge assignment.

THE SILMARILLION

Under the Moonlight (Maedhros & Elrond) 2.4k, General Audiences, angst, adoptive father-son relationship • aesthetic

Elrond was no fool; such tears were not of a pain any medicine could heal. There was something else to them, too: they weren't just tears one spends in grief of kin or family. Elrond couldn't quite explain it, and so he asked, “Who is it, that you cry for?”

Home, by the Fireplace (Maedhros & Elrond) 1.6k, General Audiences, bonding, adoptive father-son relationship

“Elrond will come and find you soon enough,” Maglor said. He was back to working on his instrument. “Be kind, when he does—he only means the best.”

or Winter is harsh on Maedhros, and Elrond tries to help.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

The Way He Looks** (Gaston/LeFou) 2.4k, General Audiences, early days, pre-war, first kiss • aesthetic, fanart

Tentatively, LeFou risked looking up at him again. Gaston was looking out the window now, certainly dreaming of his next, successful hunt in the vast plains of the land. These were perhaps LeFou’s favourite moments; when they stopped to make camp in the forest or under the stars—and when they found peace here, at home, and he could watch Gaston bathe in the sunlight.

Blood on his Hands (Gaston/LeFou) 3.8k, Teen and Up Audiences, pre-movie, wartime, protective Gaston

"Was the man even still alive?

Gaston didn't know, and didn't care.

Hell, if anything Gaston hoped he was; he could suffer some more and die later."

or Wartime Gafou drabbles

He Loves Me (Gaston/LeFou) 3.5k, General Audiences, pre-war, first kiss, pre-movie relationship

LeFou glanced at Gaston, and watched his chest rise and fall to the steady rhythm of his breath. He thought back to the day when they’d been lying on top of the hill, and he’d asked Gaston, “Why are we friends?”

The answer had been simple, and easy back then; today, though, LeFou thought that it might have meant something different, for they were now older, and perhaps, a lot more wiser, too.

Reflection** (Gaston/LeFou) 7.7k, General Audiences, post-movie, Gaston lives, healing, scars • aesthetic

While Gaston heals from the fall that almost claimed his life, LeFou, hurt by Gaston's betrayal, struggles to come to terms with the aftermath of the battle.

OTHER

Not the End (Emmett Fields/John Cantrell, The Raven) 823 words, General Audiences, post-movie, fix-it

She stops by the door, fingers around the doorknob when she hears it. As the nurse had said, there's someone in the room already, and Emily can hear his voice, hushed and almost trembling. She's heard that voice before, but not like this—she's heard it strong, and confident, and commanding.

Today, it’s none of those things.

Old Friends and Broken Promises** (John Moore & Laszlo Kreizler, The Alienist) 2.1k, General Audiences, post-books, character study, angst

Months have passed since the Beecham and Hatch cases—but their shadows still linger over John's life.

Oh, if the Dead Could Weep (Héctor Rivera, Coco) 1.8k, General Audiences, pre-movie, angst

Héctor thought that being dead was already bad enough—until the first time he tried crossing the Marigold Bridge.

Sooo that’s it! There are other stories on my account that I didn’t include, either because they’re not any good or because something bothers me about them, but if you wanna give them a read, no one can stop you! but please don’t

Kudos are much appreciated, and comments mean the world to me. Even a few words would make my day!! It's never too late and even a tiny one would be wonderful. ;w;

I’ll also take this opportunity to thank @piyo-13 and @johnsmoore, who beta’ed most of those stories. Thank you so so much my friends, my fics and I would be nothing without you <3