#and make me confused I ever doubted myself in the first place

[chipper-smol]

when the seemingly obvious things take a while to formulate

[gildeddlily]

absolutely losing my mind because of these two!!!

so.

are these two actually toxic, or are they just kids who don't know how to communicate? easy, they're just kids! (this was fast)

reading the manga will not make you understand that (or im just stupid), and this is why I'm thanking the author on.my.knees for the spin-off!

so.

after watching the anime I fled to ao3, of course. read some works about Rin and Isagi, managed to not spoil myself anything.

then i read the U20 arc. after reading every ryusae I could find (writing one myself rn, doing god's work) I finished to read the manga cause, yk, I wanted to know what would happen with my babies and then boom! Reo and Nagi!!!

I didn't particularly care about them at first: Nagi was strong ofc, but kind of boring? he's not my favourite archetype, and while I loved Reo I hated their fight and wanted nothing to do with them. key word(s), at first.

then, then! I randomly read some fics about them cause they'd started to grow on me, and boom, tons of fics about their breakup/makeup. stunning works, ofc, but I started to see so many "Reo's fault" "Nagi's fault" "toxic relationship" that I kind of started to get uncomfortable (sometimes people throw around the word toxic when it's nothing like that), so what's to do? read the spin off ofc.

that I did, and now not only I love them both with all of my heart, but I'm Reo's number one fan (and kinnie)!

and I developed a deep hatred for those "toxic x" theories and takes. SO. let me blabber and rant.

they love each other so much!!

this is Nagi.

he thinks "damn, soccer/football is a pain, I hate sweating and running, but I don't hate Reo" even though most of the time he spends with Reo is spent playing soccer/football (I won't choose one english is so confusing- in italian it's literally called kick).

he doesn't feel forced to be Reo's friend, he likes it.

because Reo loves him, it's as simple as that.

he wants to be Nagi's friend "despite" Nagi's personality: this is something he currently says through the spin-off, which made me cry- Reo truly is the first person who ever accepted Nagi as someone who is lazy and unmotivated, who complains a lot, who doesn't put any effort in what he does, who doesn't offer much.

Or at least he thinks that he doesn't have anything special to offer, until Reo arrives.

he still has those terribly self-deprecating thoughts, but now he has something to offer, his talent.

(and after a period of happiness, their honeymoon phase one could call it, he starts to doubt the sincerity of Reo's care. from thinking "i'm not his slave, i'm his partner" he starts to doubt Reo's honesty: "maybe he only wanted to be my friend because of my talent, a talent he knows how to use"- since he still thinks that he's got nothing to offer! but we will talk about this later.)

this is Reo!

he thinks "I wanted to be the one who could make you love soccer/football, the one able to light up something in you" but he also thinks "seeing you like that, even if it wasn't me who'd done that, made me happy".

he's so jealous he's almost funny, and isn't that the most teenager thing ever?

who wouldn't be jealous after working so hard to be special to someone, just for someone else to take the place you're working so hard for?

it's terrible, but still, it doesn't stop Reo from being happy that Nagi found something exciting.

something that made Nagi as happy as the combo Nagi-soccer/football made Reo happy.

the thing is, Nagi thinks he's Reo's friend because of his talent, which maybe it's true. maybe, hadn't Nagi been a genius, they wouldn't have become friends, but his talent was the sparkle that made him become Reo's treasure.

Reo is someone who has everything, who gets everything he wants, or as he says everything except what he really wants.

for that, he has to work.

so, what he wants is to play soccer/football, and to play it with Nagi.

(in order to be Nagi's friend, he needs to work hard, because he needs to be honest and gain Nagi's trust- this is how friendship works: even when it seems flawless and easy, there's so much work behind it, and knowing it is important. most of the times we only realise it once we lost that bond- for example, Nagi. Reo already knew it, and this is why he tried so hard to not leave Nagi's side)

at one point, the two things became linked to one another, and his dream turns into "winning with Nagi, my partner". Because Nagi is talented, is special, and Reo saw his talent, and how Nagi was unable to do the same. He wants to show Nagi that soccer/football is fun, that his talent isn't a pain, that he is special, because Nagi doesn't know it, and for Reo a star that doesn't see his its own light? is just preposterous.

He cares for Nagi and loves everything about him, even all the "bad" things, and he doesn't think that Nagi has to change, and this is what, for me, makes their break-up way more serious and relatable for a lot of people.

it triggers a "I'll change to be better" "for me you never had to change" "I need to change for myself" dynamic.

2. changing and longing is way more fun when you're doing it together!!!

so they split up.

Nagi doesn't do it because he likes Isagi more, or because his style of play is more interesting, he does it because Isagi was stronger than Nagi and Reo: entering Blue Lock, Nagi had trust in Reo's ability to use his talent to win, he didn't even think about failing, and while Barou came close to making him feel like he could loose, Nagi overpowered him at the end- but then Isagi beats Nagi, and Reo with him.

Nagi understands that Reo's dream can't become reality if they aren't the strongest, and if being together doesn't work, maybe they should split up, part ways, become stronger and then join forces again, and win everything. win the world cup.

while his friendship with Isagi is sweet and I love them, for Nagi Isagi is like a cyclette.

he'll use the cyclette to get get fit and make his bf swoon over his legs, he won't stay with the cyclette once he doesn't need the training anymore. and even if he will, it will always be just the cyclette he uses to get fit "for" his bf.

(metaphor isn't metaphoring)

Reo doesn't know that.

he knows he's strong, but he knows that Isagi and Nagi are on a whole other level and he feels threatened. he fears that Nagi will choose Isagi instead of him, and he tries desperately to not loose Nagi.

Nagi is his dream. Slowly, day after day, Nagi became part of his dream, and now he's losing not only his best friend but the dream that made him free.

Reo says it himself- he knows that Nagi did the smartest thing by leaving, but he's young and scared and sees it as Nagi leaving him.

He feels abandoned, and he thinks that Nagi is abandoning his dream to go with the bigger fish, the apex predator, in order to become the best striker, by forgetting the promises they made at the start of Blue Lock, to stay together til the end.

Neither of them forgets the other.

Nagi leaves, and all he thinks about it "I need Reo to see this" "I can't wait to let him see how much I've improved", and he misses Reo, just as much as Reo misses him.

the only difference?

Reo is oblivious about Nagi's real feelings and thought process, and his thinking of Nagi turns into spiraling into depression and self-hatred.

so Nagi changes.

he starts to see the beauty in soccer/football, he finally sees what Reo had tried to make him see for months, and he's thrilled. he's having fun. he's grateful that Reo convinced him to not discard Blue Lock immediately. he's different.

different why? because Isagi beat him? because Blue Lock happened?

he changed not when Isagi beat them, but the moment he became Reo's friend, and found a reason to do something.

because Reo was the first person to ever tell him that his laziness, boredom, his oh so troublesome antics were alright, that he was what he was, and he was enough not only for Reo, but for the whole world.

Reo accepted him even when he was set on being static, made him want to change, and now that he's changing he feels worthy of being loved so much.

"you saw something in me back then, you forced to me work hard, and now thanks to you I ('m on my way to) realised my own worth, now I found something exciting"

he changes.

Reo sees him after what, a few days, and he's already improved so much.

and he thinks that he was Nagi's cage, his personal dead weight, that Nagi may have been his treasure but he wasn't Nagi's. that Nagi doesn't need him anymore. if Nagi doesn't need him, what will be of his dream?

(we could start a long-ass post ab mental health and recovering but I won't for my own sanity)

what's his worth then, since he got into Blue Lock just to stay with Nagi till the end- especially when he can't even be number two, with Isagi there- and Nagi won't be with him anymore?

he needs to change too.

3. destroying yourself in order to change (no fun)

Reo says that he isn't brave enough to destroy himself like the others do.

Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Chigiri, they all destroy themselves in order to become stronger and change, evolve, but Reo can't. he's scared, he's confused, the whole arc is just him looking like that. then what does he do?

he lets Nagi destroy him. "If I can't do it, Nagi will" don't you understand you're doing exactly what you say you're unable to do? the fact that you're not the one pulling the trigger doesn't mean that you're not killing yourself

he pushes Nagi until he snaps and tells Reo to fuck off, that he's a pain, that he's weak and someone Nagi doesn't want anything to do with, because that's what Reo thinks.

He thinks Nagi doesn't want to be with him anymore, he's feeling guilty for what he thought (later later), he's insecure- and instead of being reasonable, he founds a way to confirm his "irrational" fears.

"I'm not being insecure since Nagi confirmed it"

he sabotages himself. that's the nail in the coffin.

instead of destroying himself with football/soccer, by learning from a lost match, he destroys himself with life, by putting on the line his relationship with the person he (not exaggerating) loves most in the world.

he's unable to distinguish life from soccer/football (and this will be the aspect that makes him so different from most of the other characters), because since meeting Nagi they've become one thing. soccer/football is his life, Nagi is his life, because they're his only chance at being happy.

(Nagi is able to distinguish between the court and Reo: this way, Reo is just as special as Isagi is, since Isagi may have made him see the fun in soccer/football, but Reo made him get angry. Nagi who thinks that his strong quality is the fact he never gets angry, that he's a pacifist. Isagi is his soccer/football revolution, Reo is his life revolution.

Reo can't. they all insult each other on the field, but they're all friends afterwards. not Reo. not yet)

now he's lost Nagi, and his dream, and he has to pick himself up from the ground.

this is how Reo changes.

4. miscommunication is a beast

As I said before, Nagi starts to think that Reo only cared about him because of his talent. he's angry at Reo. he doesn't understand why Reo said those things, why he was so stupid, why he didn't understand Nagi.

he says "I'm not his toy" and he isn't, but really, try to get into his shoes.

he thinks his partner, his best friend, doesn't believe in them as a duo anymore, doesn't want to believe in them like he used to now that Nagi has changed, now that he's more "independent" from Reo.

"what, now that I know how to fight alone, he doesn't want me anymore?" that would be anyone's first thought.

and he doubts Reo's trust in their dream.

when did Reo start to have so little faith in them, in Nagi? when did he give up on them? he thinks that, after spending weeks trying to improve just to make Reo's dream true.

and he's angry, but he still hopes to play with Reo again.

he still want to, because him and Reo are partners and Nagi still believes in their dream. because he remembers Reo's passion, and he believes in him.

+) 5. being relatable as fuck

(what kid with absent/abusive parents never thought back on their action and went anxiously all "Am I just like them?")

Reo begs Nagi to stop being so strong, stop improving so quickly, stop running towards a place Reo can't reach yet, and isn't this a human thing to do? He desperately wants to be with Nagi, and thinks that he'd rather stop him from improving rather than lose him. He thinks "Please, give up on your dream, your ego"- and isn't that familiar?

he just thought the same thing his father, a man he hates and despises and who doesn't believe in Reo, told him. and he said that to Nagi. Nagi who gave him a ticket to the top by being at his side, who let him see hope.

he panics. am I just like him? Am I cruel enough to wish for someone to give up on their dreams, just to get something out of their failure?

he's different from his father, because he's seventeen, he's scared to lose his best friend, and we can be irrational in situations like this one. does he know it? no, the same way he doesn't understand that Nagi didn't left because of him.

so yes, he's in the worst head-space ever.

isn't he relatable? this is what that made reo my favourite character in a second, probably. he's so human and he makes so many mistakes and he's so stupid sometimes, but I can see myself in him very clearly.

and now.

in what way is their relationship not balanced? their love and care not mutual? in what way one used or manipulated the other?

I think they're flawed, and they made mistakes, and they hurt each other, but I also think that we throw in the word "toxic" the moment a relationship isn't perfect.

they're friends and they're teens, they will make mistakes and they will hurt each other, and their friendship (and they were roommates) won't be perfect- this doesn't make it less genuine or beautiful.

don't get me started on what happens in the manga (really don't do it) (all of this was just nagi's spin off!!!)

[melrodrigo]

music nerds

Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

Summary: Jenna stumbles upon a tiny vinyl shop, and thinks the employee is mighty cute.

A/n: here it is nerds, my first jenna fic. Was in a silly goofy mood, I miss my babygirl so.

It started at the vinyl shop. You, rearranging the different records into the correct sections, stood humming absentmindedly to the tune of the song playing.

“How’s my favorite employee of the month doing?” Your coworker (and best friend) Harry pipes up, leaning on the shelves opposite you.

“You can stop calling me that, we both know the only reason I got crowned this month was because you missed six days and I had to cover for your ass.” You mumble, slightly annoyed. It had been a long day, with customers shuffling in and out without ever buying anything. It didn’t help that the only customers Harry attended to were girls he thought were cute.

He nudges you a little, trying to prompt you away from rearranging the vinyls.

When you don’t answer, he huffs a little and then makes his way to the back—no doubt about to take a nap—where he’ll stay until closing time.

You sigh softly, shaking your head.

Even though you loved Harry to shreds, you hated being his coworker. He could be trusted with nothing.

You move over to the next section, swaying a little to the tune, losing yourself in the music.

You’re aware of the jingle of the bell that indicates someone has entered as you shuffle through the records.

They could take care of themselves for just a few minutes, you reckon.

Soft footsteps sound from behind you, and the sound of someone putting a stop to the music makes you frown. Then, there’s a tiny scratching noise before the melody of I am Controlled By Your Love by Helene Smith sounds through the tiny store.

You can’t help the tiny smile that envelops your face; and the surprise that echos through your mind. You’d just found out about this song, while scrolling through a playlist someone had made for your celebrity crush, Jenna Ortega.

Apparently she liked the song, if you remembered correctly from watching one of her interviews passingly.

“Great choice.” You tell whoever put it on, still not turning to face them.

“Thanks, I’m surprised this place has it. I’ve been looking for weeks.” A girl answers, and it sounds vaguely familiar.

“Well, we sure do. One of the best vinyl stores in the country if I do say so myself.” You smile, finally finishing tampering with the discs and turn to your customer.

It takes everything in you to not gasp out loud—standing in front of you was the Jenna Ortega.

You feel your hands grip the shelves just a little tighter, and you prayed to god that Jenna didn’t see the blush very quickly climbing up your neck.

“One of the best, huh?” She smiles, and you swear you could feel your heart physically melt.

She looks, if not better, exactly like in the pictures. It’s surreal, this person you see almost everyday on your phone, standing in front of you.

She’s wearing a black turtleneck sweater and some baggy jeans. There are sunglasses blocking her eyes, maybe to try to avert attention, but you could tell in an instant who she was.

You think she knows too, by the way she’s smirking a little.

“Yeah, and there are a ton of artists just like the one you just put on, at the back corner over there.” You point with shaky fingers, cursing yourself for looking so stupid.

She nods and disappears further into the store, and you breathe out in relief.

Holy shit! Jenna Ortega!

You place a hand over your heart, reminding yourself to be normal and check if you’re still breathing.

“Uh-I’m sorry. I couldn’t find it. Where did you say?” She pops her head out from one of the shelves, cocking her head to the side.

You grab your bearings, determined to not make a fool of yourself.

You were an employee. Just an employee helping out a confused customer.

“It’s hard to find, believe me I know.” You smile reassuringly, sauntering over to where she was standing.

“Here, just follow me.” You say, weaving through the maze that was this tiny vinyl store.

She bumps into you a few times, saying a soft sorry as she does. You placate her worries with soft it’s okays everytime she does.

“Ahah! Right here. My pride and joy.” You beam, getting used to having her so close and relaxing.

“What would you recommend?” She muses, flicking through the artists.

“Well, I’m a Beatles girl myself,” You tell her, looking over the records, “but I am a sucker for The Mamas & The Papas.”

She raises an eyebrow at you, and you hold your hands up in defeat.

“I know, I know! I’m a mainstream whore.” You say before you can stop yourself, something definitely inappropriate to say to a customer.

Jenna lets out a little giggle, fast like she can’t help herself.

You take the opportunity to keep talking, since she seems interested in the music over here.

“But, there is another artist somewhere here, I think you’ll like.” You wink, then mentally face palm yourself.

You turn back to the records in order to hide your expression, finally finding the guy you were looking for.

“Frank Zappa.” You explain as you hand it over to her. “An instrumental.”

She looks at it thoughtfully, inspecting the album art; then looks up at you and smiles. Her brown eyes make you want to cry and scream, but you keep your composure.

“You have nice eyes.” She murmurs, eyes flickering over your face. Then, just as fast, she turns away and walks back the way you came.

“What just happened.” You breathe once she’s out of earshot, carefully walking back to the cashier.

She’s waiting, texting someone on her phone.

When you slide up behind the counter, all flirty smiles, she tilts her head.

“Took you long enough.” She teases, scrunching her nose in embarrassment unconsciously.

You stutter endlessly, trying and failing to come up with an excuse. It all comes out in one jumbled poor excuse of a sentence that you try to cover up with a cough.

You slide her things over and scan them, not daring to look at her probably smug face.

“That’s all.” You say, somewhat bashfully, stealing a glance back at her.

Her eyes flicker with something you can’t quite place, but something you can certainly feel. Warmth envelops you whole, your knees turning into jelly.

You put her stuff into a plastic bag, hand them over, and bite back the hitch of breath when your hand grazes hers.

She bites her lip thoughtfully, shifting on her feet. The bag is in her hands now, she’s free to leave.

But still, she stands there, looking like she’s thinking very hard about something.

You try and prompt her out of her thoughts, murmur a quiet, “Anything else?” and watches as she takes out her phone and pushes it to your side of the desk.

“Yeah. Your number.” She squeaks, blushing a faint pink. She clears her throat and says it again, in a tone deeper than before.

It takes absolutely everything in you to keep your mouth shut. It desperately desperately wants to drop, not quite computing what is really happening.

You take it before she can change her mind, quickly jamming in your number and taking a quick photo for the profile.

She beams as you hand it back to her, not bothering to stop the cheeky satisfied smile that wants to take over her lips.

“I’ll see you soon, yeah?” She asks, and you nod adamantly, forgetting all pretense of chill.

“Right. Uh huh. Super!” You call out as she makes her way out the door, shaking her head at your dorkiness.

“Holy shit!” You yell this time, breathing out a huge sigh of relief you didn’t even know you were holding.

You’re rooted to the spot, afraid that if you move you’ll wake up and this’ll all be a dream.

“Wha-What happened?” Harry comes tumbling out the back door, plastic baseball bat in hand.

You lock eyes with him and let yourself fall down into the nearest chair, all wild eyes.

“I just got Jenna Ortega’s number!” You tell him, letting your hands run through your hair, happy and stressed.

His eyes narrow, then he shoots you a lopsided smirk.

“Sure you did.” He says, letting the baseball bat fall beside him, guard down.

“No Harry, she really came in here! And asked me for my number!” You yell, exasperated.

You can tell he doesn’t really believe you, but all it takes is one good look at your face, all white and red at the same time, and he’s widening his eyes comically wide.

“No fucking way.” He gushes, sliding over to sit beside you. He practically preens over you, all questioning eyes.

“Well what did you do?” He pushes, waiting for you to elaborate.

You tell him the whole story, slightly reveling in his reactions. He never fails to make you laugh at his comments.

“So…what now?” Harry asks after a minute, raising his eyebrows.

You sigh. “I don’t know, I guess I’m gonna have to wait for her to call me. Who knows how long that’s gonna take.”

“Well, you better be ready for her when she does. Oh my god we so need to do a makeover.” He rambles, turning on his phone to look at hairdressers nearby. You lean back into your chair, overwhelmed.

For now, you’re worry-less. Jenna Ortega just asked for your number, and you think you couldn’t be luckier. The only thing to do now was wait, and so you do.

[earthchica]

ungodly hour

joel miller x black! reader

summary: you get pregnant by your ex-boyfriend, joel miller.

warning: angst, heartbreak, age gap, break up, language, nicknames, first person pov.

__ series masterlist

first person's pov

When I was new to the Jackson community, I bumped into Joel Miller, who seemed tough and solitary.

One day, I accidentally spilled my coffee on his shirt outside the stables, and he appeared slightly irritated.

Despite my repeated apologies, Joel reassured me there was no need to worry.

Being restless, I offered to make it up to him by preparing dinner. He agreed, possibly influenced by Ellie's teasing about his secret crush.

Gradually, Joel and I developed a friendship, taking turns cooking dinner and getting to know each other better.

Over time, Joel and I nurtured a friendship, sharing cooking duties and deepening our bond.

What started as a friendship evolved into something deeper, but a year later, our relationship hit a rough patch.

Experiencing a common phase in relationships, it seemed like all the warmth had vanished, leaving me puzzled.

Joel's behavior grew distant and aloof, focusing solely on his patrol duties, Ellie, Tommy, and his family.

Whenever I tried to address his behavior, he would often spark a disagreement, claiming I was nagging and needed to relax.

Moreover, each time I requested a kiss, he would hurriedly peck me and that left me...

Feeling confused and torn, my heart ached, and I began to doubt myself.

Questions swirled in my mind:

Am I not good enough for him anymore?

Am I not attractive to him anymore?

Am I-

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening, followed by the sound of his boots.

I stood up from my seat and waited for him in the narrow hallway, taking a breath.

There stood Joel, donning a black jacket, blue button-up shirt, and jeans.

He casually removed his jacket and hung it up before acknowledging me with a nod, then briskly headed towards the living room.

Curiously, I trailed behind and inquired, "Where were you, Joel?"

"I was out," he replied, walking towards the bedroom.

"Out where?"

"Darling, can I get in without being fucking interrogated?" he sighs while settling on the bed and removing his boots.

"I'm not interrogating you, Joel just asking where you've been. Ellie told me you went out" I responded, raising my voice slightly.

"I said I was out. Can't you take my word for it?" he retorted, placing his boots aside and meeting my gaze.

"No, Joel, it's not enough. I'm exhausted from this situation. I'm tired of feeling mistreated," I expressed tearfully.

"You've grown distant and cold, and I don't understand why. I've had enough," I added, tears welling up in my eyes.

"So are you suggesting that we should end things?" Joel inquired, and I simply nodded in agreement.

"Darling, I apologize… I'm just going through something at the moment. It's not personal," he said with a frown.

"It feels personal with the way you're treating me. If something is bothering you, Joel, please talk to me. I'm here for you, I love you, but please don't push me away," I expressed, as I took hold of his hand and gently caressed his cheek with my other hand.

Joel lowered his head, ran his fingers through his hair, then took a deep breath and uttered words I never expected to hear from him.

"I think we should end this. You deserve so much better than me, Darling. I don't want to cause you any more pain."

Feeling my heart sink, I was caught off guard.

"What?" I stammered, getting up from the bed. He rose as well and approached me.

"So, this is how it's going to end. You're not even willing to try and work through this?" I questioned, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Joel, did you ever love me?" I inquired, but he remained silent, his guilt apparent as he looked down.

"I suppose you never did, did you?" I asked tearfully. He gazed back at me, his expression softening.

"Darling, I do. I love you so much. I just need time to figure things out," he insisted, caressing my cheek with his hand.

"I love you too, Joel. And you know what? If this is your decision, then so be it. However, I won't be staying here," I stated as I walked away, heading upstairs to pack a bag of clothes.

Joel followed me, observing as I packed; he remained rooted to his spot until I gathered all my belongings.

"Wait, you don't have to go. You can stay," he pleaded, leaving me puzzled by his sudden change in demeanor.

"Joel, you're not expecting me to stay here after tonight, are you?" I inquired, hoisting the bag onto my shoulder.

"I was, but that would be selfish of me. Um… where will you go?" he asked, worried evident as he rubbed the back of his neck.

It was perplexing how he cared after breaking up with me just moments ago. I shot him a cold glance, waiting for him to step aside.

Although he attempted to speak, no words emerged, and he eventually moved out of my path.

Tears streamed down my face as I walked away from Joel and the home we had once shared.

It has been a month since then, and Joel has been keeping an eye on me, being protective from afar.

Despite my efforts to move forward, the situation has been incredibly tough, and I longed for it to end. However, with Ellie's support, I am gradually overcoming it.

Upon sharing the incident between Joel and me with Ellie, she was furious, and I could tell she was about to confront Joel.

She has been checking in on me regularly, and one day, she proposed that I join the upcoming gathering party.

As much as I wanted to go I had to decline because, in the past couple of weeks, I haven't been feeling well.

I've been vomiting, getting major headaches, and having weird cravings. This only gives me one idea of what I might be.

"No, I can't. No," I said, shaking my head not wanting to believe I was, and then I thought about it for a second.

The only time I remember me and Joel having sex was after an argument and that was weeks before we broke up.

"Shit!" I screamed, quickly getting up and putting my boots on. I grabbed my keys before heading over to Tommy and Maria's House.

-

I informed Maria about the situation, and to my surprise, Ellie was also present to listen. Together, they accompanied me to the clinic to check if I was pregnant.

"It seems like you're eight weeks pregnant!" Charles mentioned with a sympathetic expression, sensing my lack of enthusiasm about the pregnancy.

"Oh no!" I exclaimed as tears welled up. Maria embraced me while Ellie comforted me by rubbing my back.

The pregnancy was confirmed, and it was hard to digest. I knew I shouldn't feel this way, but how could I not?

I never imagined having my first child in this way, especially in a post-apocalyptic world filled with clickers and malicious people.

Maria handed me some tissues while Charles, the doctor, shared advice for a healthy pregnancy.

"Okay,_____. I'd like to see you back in a few weeks, all right?" Charles said with a reassuring smile as I nodded.

Back at Tommy's & Maria's House, I couldn't stop pacing the living room, filled with questions.

"So, what should I do?" Ellie sighed and responded, ", I understand this news is shocking, but you have to tell Joel"

"As much as I am disappointed with how Joel treated you, I agree with Ellie. You need to inform him; he deserves to know!"

"Yeah, I know. I just don't know how he'll react," I said, lowering myself onto the couch and covering my face with my hands.

"If it helps, I'll accompany you," Ellie offered, placing her hand on my shoulders, but I declined with a shake of my head.

"No, I can handle this, Ellie. Thank you, though," I replied with a faint smile. Despite my reluctance, it was necessary.

Regardless of whether Joel and I were together or not, I didn't conceive this baby alone.

I needed Joel to decide whether to be a part of our child's life because it was no longer about me; it was about what was best for the baby.

[angstywaifu]

Black Dahlia - 21. Show Me

Summary: After rushing from the training hall, Dahlia is left alone to her thoughts. Or so she thinks.

Garrick Tavis x OC (Dahlia Aetos)

Black Dahlia Masterlist | Masterlist | Support Me WARNING: THIS NOW CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ONYX STORM. IF YOU HAVE NOT READ ONYX STORM, DO NOT READ THE BELOW.

I had no idea how I ended up here. Just letting my feet carry me to wherever they lead me. Which apparently was the top of one of the towers of the Quadrant. It clearly wasn’t used much, but it must have been a place someone came to as there were some footsteps in the dust in the stairwell.

I’m sure the view was beautiful, but all I could do was stare down at my hands, the memory replaying in my head over and over again. The scream echoing loudly in my head over, and over again. I’d barely had my signet a day and it was already a shit show just like the rest of my life. Just when life was starting to be good for once. I was making friends, didn’t have to deal with the constant disappointed looks of my father and brother. I was actually living my life. Now I doubted anyone would want anything to do with me after that.

They must have developed a signet like I had recently. Emetterio knew of my signet after last night, knew it wasn’t entirely safe for me to touch anyone except Bodhi really. His signet was the only one I could trust in my hands. But clearly the other cadet had manifested one without realising. And I’d thrown it back at them without even realising and caused everyone in the Quadrant to look on in horror as they screamed and screamed. I squeeze my eyes shut in an effort to block the memory from my mind, but it does nothing. The scream still echoing loudly in my ears.

I startle as the door next to me opens. I half expect to see Xaden who I knew had tried to follow me out. And at first I think it is him with how tall the person is, but as they fully step through the door, it’s the last person I expect to see. They shut the door behind them before walking over and lowering themselves to the ground as they lean up against the ledge with me, legs sprawled out in front of them. I look up at them to see them staring down at my hands. I’d only ever seen him glare or tease me, so the worried way he looks at my hands is new to me. A softer look to their features I’ve not seen before, as if they were relaxed despite the worry. And I hated to say how much I liked it.

“I’m sorry.” He mutters, an almost pained tone to their voice.

I look at him confused, unsure why he’s apologising to me. “Sorry? Why are you sorry Garrick?”

His shifts his gaze to look at me, and I can see the pain in his hazel eyes. I can see how sorry he is, as if he feels like this is his fault. But there’s something more there. I know the look in his eyes isn’t just to do with what happened to me.

“I’m sorry, because the signet you replicated was mine.” He confesses, averting his gaze as he leans his head back against the stone ledge, looking up at the roof.

I stare at him in disbelief. One because I’d been so adamant I’d replicated the cadet I’d been up against. And two…. Because this was a side of him I had never seen. Not once in my months here had I seen him be anything but the arrogant lumbering oaf I’d assumed him to be. Didn’t think he cared about anyone but himself and the few he kept close. But I can see how worried he is. How bad he feels. There’s no way this is an act. Especially when I lower my gaze and note a slight shake to his hands. I almost want to reach out and grasp them in mine, but after what’s happened I doubt he’d let me. And I internally kick myself for wanting to do so. Just because he feels sorry for me and what’s happened, doesn’t mean he won’t go back to treating me any different once tomorrow comes. Just like my brother and father.

“Same thing nearly happened to me once.” He starts, his gaze still set on the roof. “Some of us were doing training while challenges on hold and we couldn’t go flying due to the weather. Only a few squads were with us. And I’d only just gotten my signet a week prior.” He pauses, taking a deep breath before looking down at his hands. “We were just doing hand to hand combat, and at first it was fine. Both of us landing hits on each other without any issues. But eventually I manged to get them in a hold. And as I grasped their neck and tried to turn us, they started choking despite the hold I had on them not allowing me to do that. I didn’t realise at first, not until they went limp in my arms and saw their lips had turned slightly blue.”

Garrick squeezes his fists shut, the tremble now more emphasised due to it. As I look at him I realise what had happened today was almost a copy and paste of what had happened to him last year. But I had done far worse. And a lot quicker based off his story,. Not only was I shaken, but Garrick was to.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

He turns his head and lightly laughs. “The last thing you need to be is sorry. You did nothing wrong.”

I shake my head. “But I did. I didn’t think. I should have thought about what could happen when I touched your arm. But I didn’t. I didn’t think and now I’ve probably traumatised some poor cadet, and you.” I ramble, finally breaking free of the slump I was in. “Everyone probably thinks I’m a freak.”

He chuckles lightly, my eyes narrowing at him as I glare at him slightly. “Aww you care about me. How sweet.”

I huff and push off the ground, “And there it is. Sorry for trying to be nice.” I snap as I go to storm off.

I barely take a step before his hand grasps my arm halting me in my tracks. I try to pull my arm free, not wanting to accidentally hurt him but he just grips my arm tighter.

“I’m not trying to be an ass. Just thought a joke might make you feel better.” He states bluntly as he stares down at me.

The last time I’d been this close was in the hallway the day after threshing, and I’d forgotten just how tall Garrick truly was as I crane my neck to look up at him. And just like last time, being this close to him affects me more than it should.

“It doesn’t matter, as soon as we walk out of here you’ll go back to hating me and treating me like you normally do.” I say as I try to loosen my arm from his grip.

He sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t hate you Dahlia.”

I freeze at his words. In all the months I’d been here, not once had he used my name. Always calling me little Aetos, or some other colourful word. Never by my actual name. And I hated how it caught me off guard. Hated how much I liked it coming from him.

He releases my arm, clearly satisfied I won’t storm off anymore. “At the start, yeah I did. But I’ve realised I never hated you. I hated your name. Your last name. Who I thought you were. Who your father is. And dare I say, I was wrong about you.”

“Is this you trying to apologise?” I ask, staring at him like he’s gone crazy.

Cause clearly he had. Or maybe I had. Maybe I’d been knocked out on that mat and this was just a dream. There was no way these words were coming from Garrick. Garrick who despised me from the moment I stepped off the parapet and he knew my…. My name. I’d barely looked at him but there was no hate in his eyes the first time I’d looked at him. He looked curious and amused as I’d tried to avoid giving my name to him and Xaden. But the moment Dain had uttered my last name, it had changed. Every time he’d looked at me since then there had been hate in his eyes. Until now. And I hated to admit that now as I looked up at him, there was none of that there. For once Garrick Tavis was looking at me like he didn’t hate me.

“I can retract it if you want? But yes, this is me saying that maybe I was wrong about jumping to conclusions about you based off a name.” He admits with a shrug, clearly trying to play it casual.

“You aren’t doing this because you feel bad about the whole signet thing?” I ask, still not sure what he’s saying is true.

“I won’t deny I feel extremely bad about what happened. But it’s not why I’m doing this. And I get if you don’t believe a single word I’m saying to you right now. Just felt like right now was the only time you would listen to me.”

He wasn’t wrong though. As he’d joined me up here I’d let him. I hadn’t scoffed and moved on like I usually would, hadn’t made a smart ass comment to him. I’d watched and let him sit next to me and talk to me properly. Too caught up in what had happened to care. And honestly, I’d wanted to company despite running off.

I walk over to the ledge, looking out over the Quadrant as I think over his words. Despite everything something deep down told me to accept his apology and put all this behind us. What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I want to suddenly forgive him and move on? Maybe Bodhi’s insistence I give him a chance had finally worn me down.

“Ok. “ I utter, turning to look at him. “I’m not fully forgiving you. But I’m giving you a chance Tavis. As they say, actions speak louder than words.”

@imtoanonymousforyou @simplyme-fornow @omalmal @lalaluch @wolfbc97 @leptitlu @fullmoon-94 @the-fandom-ness @fan-of-many-bands @awkardnerd @heeseungthel0ml @acourtofsmutandstarlight @fairchild06 @freyagallileaevans @pit-and-the-pen @hannraumari @elliot-rain @thestarseternaal

[taesanluv3r]

almost twenty

kim woonhak x reader

non-idol woonhak and reader anxiously holding onto their disappearing youth. kind of emotional, esp if youre aged 17-19, might make u cry (i did while writing it) idk. this fic is dedicated to everyone who's worrying so much abt the future (me) it'll get better i promise (telling myself this). lowercase intended. pls ignore any spelling mistakes/grammatical errors. enjoyy

wc: 2,365

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"so...have you heard back from any of the colleges yet?"

her mother's simple question alone was enough to ruin yn ln's whole afternoon. normally, it wouldn't piss her off that much at all, but the fact that she's heard the exact same words come out from the woman's mouth about a billion times this week alone was just the thing to fully pull on her veins. "i told you a million times already, mom!" she shouted, abruptly- and angrily- standing up from her seat at the dining table. "the schools will get back to me in two weeks. i just applied like two days ago! god..."

"...do you ever listen?"

the answer is no. what kind of parents were understanding enough to listen to their teenage daughter? in fact, what kind of adult would ever understand the way their kids, regardless of age, felt? maybe out there somewhere there was a family that were healthy enough to get each other that way. maybe out there somewhere an adult was caring enough to relate a little.

"tsk...yeah right...fat chance"

yn groans as she slumps belly first onto her bed. she turns over to lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. her eyes almost water as they scan her surroundings. the glow-in-the-dark stars that decorated her walls, the baby-pink chair she had out-grown years ago, and the collection of stuffed animals that snuggled comfortably in the very corner of her bed-room; memories of the trajectory of her own life- well, the life she had up until right now, up until this awkward stage between teenage youth and adulthood.

she sighs as she gets up again, her fingers tracing against the gold medals that sat atop the floral wallpaper. she giggles, looking through every old photo inside each frame placed on her shelf. one of little yn holding up three gold medals, little yn with a big toothy grin only half the size of the cotton candy in her tiny hands, a slightly older yn when she had graduated elementary school, and one last image of a smiley middle-school yn, hands happily intertwined with her closest friend, kim woonhak.

the girl stops to stare at all her belongings a little longer. in just two more weeks she'd be hearing back from at least one of the colleges she had applied to. in just two weeks all of these things that surrounded her would be stuffed into a card-board box, somewhere far away from her sight. a sick feeling forms in the pit of her stomach. it's bittersweet. sure, she'd finally be free from the so-called shackles of her parents' constant nagging, finally having a life of her own...but at the same time, yn just couldn't help all the doubts that constantly clouded up her mind, those thoughts that made the sunny days look gloomy through her eyes.

she swears she might just start crying. not that it's anything new, the stress that comes forth from being on the verge of twenty always seemed to push a lever in the tear-making department in her eyes. she's interrupted this time though, by the unnecessarily loud ping of her phone. 'who could possibly be texting me now...'

'woon-not so-agi'

the contact name alone allows a little laugh to escape the girl's lips as she swipes her fingers against the screen to open his message.

where u at?? you aren't flaking on me are u????

his texts confuse her for just a moment, she had no clue what he was talking about.

hellooooo? don't tell me u forgot? we're supposed to meet at the tree remember?? hurry uppppppppp im not waiting long >:(

"shit is it 7pm already?!" without any more fuss, yn rushes to throw on her sweater. she doesn't bother to bid goodbye to her parents before she runs out the door- she's still upset at them, of course. the girl hastily climbs onto her bicycle, her legs pedaling the fastest they ever had. in almost no time, she arrives at the boy's backyard.

"what took you so long?" a male voice calls out from the top of the tree, woonhak's head peaking out from the wooden structure that sat between the branches. yn points a finger up at the air, signaling for him to wait for a second as she catches her breath. she could hear him laugh, followed by the rustling of leaves as a gust of wind flew by. "hurry and get up here" he said impatiently, prompting her to roll her eyes as she began to climb up the wooden ladder.

"finally" the boy said, smiling stupidly as the girl took a seat beside him on the tree-house-like space. it was a flat piece of wood, decorated with acrylic paints and a couple old throw pillows that his dad had installed for them on the tall tree in their backyard. they were about six years old then, just two little kids begging their parents every single day for a 'super ultimate tree-house' to pose as their 'super-spy head-quarters' on their silly playdates, having no clue that their favourite playing spot would hold the same purpose years later in their teens.

"what's up with you?" the boy's voice shakes yn out of the trance she didn't know she was in. "huh?" he laughs again, "you always look like you're about to jump off this tree" woonhak teases, and usually she'd tease back. usually, she'd say something too witty for him to understand, dying of laughter by herself while he sat there confused. that wasn't the case today though, instead, she stayed quiet, only the slightest smile on her lips.

in an instant, his face softened. "hey..." he began, shifting the weight away from his hands to lightly tap at her shoulders. his grip tightened, adding a bit of force to turn her around so they were face to face. "there really is something wrong, isn't there?" yn couldn't bring herself to answer properly, only a whimper of sorts coming out from her mouth- the quietest of noise before that lever inside of her eyes came loose.

"yn...what's wrong?" woonhak asked again, catching her body in his arms when she fell towards him, incasing her in his warmth. "i..." she manages to muster out, her voice muffled from the fabric of his baby-blue sweater. "...i don't know...i just..." once more, the words in her head failed to solidify, all her thoughts coming out as silent cries. he doesn't force her to speak anymore, just holding her tightly, rocking back and forth as if he were comforting a teen-sized baby.

it takes about half an hour for yn to gather herself and her thoughts up again. she had removed herself of woonhak's embrace, sitting straight up beside him. the shadow of their swinging feet moved with the grass below them, the afternoon sky creating a blue-ish tint and painting the scene like a movie. just the right atmosphere for the boy to open his ears up, all for her voice to enter right in.

"i just don't get it. i don't get why they keep pressuring me with all these questions! when are you going to college? you should start packing, have you found a dorm yet? have you found a job yet? when will you get your license? i just...it's just too much- it's like..." she momentarily stops her speech-like dialogue to think of the right adjectives. "like it's all going so fast? like they're rushing you?" woonhak completes the sentences for her, his eyebrows furrowing when she nods in agreement.

"exactly" yn says, bringing one leg up to rest her chin on her knee. "it's just so stressful...i guess i just can't believe it's all happening- i mean..." she picks up her speaking space, perhaps to stop herself from letting the tears take over again. "in two weeks we'll hear from those colleges...then we'll have to move and then start a whole new life and what if we don't end up in the same place? what if we lose contact? what if everything i've lived the past years of my life for..." her voice cracks and she pauses for a moment to look at the boy beside her.

"...what if it doesn't work out? what if it just all goes to waste?"

the water that had begun to well up in her eyes were a clear image in front of him now, only prompting him to start to tear up himself. their gazes lingered on each other for a moment, the vulnerability of it all crashing against the two teenagers like it had fallen straight from the sky.

"i get it" woonhak says, trying his best to stop himself from bawling like a baby- even if it meant breaking eye-contact with the girl and staring all too seriously at the leaves above him. "ah, being our age is so hard!" he yells this time, falling backwards to lay down on the wooden surface. his hands slapped over his face, the mere thought of the pair's coming adulthood far too frustrating for him. his slight temper-tantrum made her smile for the first time that afternoon- i mean, fully smile.

something about the boy's childish nature comforted her. like despite all these worries and all the stress about their coming twenties, whenever they were together they still had that little bit of youth to grab onto.

"hey...you're smiling again" she nods at his observation, moving to lay down on her back right next to him. yn lets out a sigh, watching as a flock of birds migrated over the skies above them. "yn?" woonhak calls out and the girl hums in response, turning her head over to face him. the boy's eyes are shiny and bright, despite the fact that the sun was long gone. she's confused when he moves to sit up again, but never breaking eye-contact.

"can you promise me something?"

she sits up with him now, nodding along with his words. "promise what?" her words are quick, like she didn't have any more time left in the world. "that when we're away in college, even if we get too busy with whatever twenty year olds do, even if we barely have any time on our hands anymore..." his voice starts to shake, eyes begin to water all over again. "promise me we'll never lose contact. promise me we'll still talk every chance we get? please?" the weakness displayed on his face, a kind of look she had never ever seen on the boy before this very moment. he fully expected her to cry as well, to breakdown into tears as they hugged for the rest of the night. she didn't though, instead the girl broke into a small fit of laughter.

"what...why are you laughing?!" a massive frown decorated his complexion, tears streaming down both sides of his face. "oh, woonhak..." yn says, a smile on her lips as her hands moved up to cup his cheeks, beginning to wipe away his tears. "you're so stupid..." the boy furrows his eyebrows, "you can't seriously be bullying me in the middle of this right now-" he's cut off when her pointer finger presses against his mouth. "no, you idiot. i'm just saying you're so stupid if you think i'd ever be able to survive my twenties without texting and calling you every chance i get!"

his mouth opens to form an 'O' shape. she lets out a giggle and his own one follows. yn lets out a deep breath, "i'd be way too lonely without you, woonhak" the boy smiles, "yeah, you've got like no other friends anyways- ow!" he exclaims, rubbing the spot on his shoulder she had slapped. "meanie" her baby-like language only makes him roll his eyes, "how are you almost twenty and still calling people meanie?" yn pouts, crossing her arms over her chest. "i only call you that...and only cause its the truth!" woonhak laughs once more before suddenly pulling her into his chest, she squeals at the sudden force sending them to lay down flat on the tree-house structure again.

they stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other's arms under the shade of their comfort place. "i wish we could stay almost-twenty forever..." yn says through a sigh. woonhak nods, a hand stroking through her hair. "yeah...i wish time froze at age nineteen or something...like at nineteen point nine nine" her eyebrows knit together, "nineteen point nine nine?" he nods again, "yeah, like the ultimate teenager" the girl laughs, hiding her face against his side.

"you're an idiot, you know that?" - "but where would you be without me, yn?" she agrees with him, "you're right...life would be so terrible without you- even if you're the dumbest person i know..." he rolls his eyes. "hey, yn?" - "yeah?"

"you know...later if we're away from each other, please call me. call me all the time. call me if you're bored, call me if you're happy, call me when you're sad, when you're stressed, and please..." the boy trails off, sitting up again and grabbing the girl's hands to pull her up with him. he stared deeply into her eyes, and she did the same as she bit on her bottom lip.

"please call me if you're lonely...promise?"

she nods quickly, "of course. i promise" the pair melt into each other as they hugged once more, the blue sky had darkened and the bright moon watched over them from the cracks between the branches of the tree. "thank you..." kim woonhak says, separating from her grasp. "for what?" yn ln wonders, tilting her head off to the side in confusion.

"for spending the rest of our youth with me"

just like that, yn's worries and all her anxiety flew out the window. in a time like this one, when it feels like their teenage years are disappearing far too quickly, when no one around them seemed to understand, when they've become all too sensitive to the concept of change...at least they've got each other to seek comfort. an everlasting youth whenever it was just the two of them. as though time had frozen and they were stuck in the in-between...

at 19.99.

the end.

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aaa i cried while writing and proofreading this TT 19.99 coming out the same time ive been the most stressed abt future-related stuff, the album is so amazing and relatable! its very precious to me, dont forget to stream!! ily bonedo, ily woonhak, ily readers! here's to growing up together <3 tysm for reading. love, kona.

[valeisaslut]

the morning is the muse-mdni (+18)

clic to read pt.1!

⚢ pairing: Shane McCutcheon (The L Word, 2004) x Reader 𖥔 ݁ ˖

ෆ synopsis: after the heated events of the night before, Shane and y/n try to make it pass as a one night thing, but feelings get in the way. It's your turn to realize that Shane is someone quite difficult to avoid 𖥔 ݁ ˖

⭑ word count: 2.12k 𖥔 ݁ ˖

♱ content: smut (nsfw), dom! Shane, sub! reader, oral sex (r!receiving), fingering, cum eating, jealousy, cursing, Shane and y/n are smokers, pet names, etc. MDNI!! 𖥔 ݁ ˖

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ Hii! first of all, thank you all so so so much for all the support in my first fic! I honestly wrote it more for myself than for it to be popular and i didn't expect all those kind beautiful messages and so many people asking me to write a pt.2! So here it is, I really hope you like it as much as i did. Sorry in advance if there are some misspelling or writing mistakes, english isn't my first language and I will be happy to receive constructive criticism! 𖥔 ݁ ˖

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

The dim and warm morning light seeped through the curtains of Shane's department, reaching your eyes and waking you from your slumber in a slow manner.

As you languidly opened your eyes, you started scanning your surroundings, not immediately comprehending your present location. However, in a matter of seconds, the flashbacks of the previous night hit you like a bus and a slight blush painted your cheeks.

The first thought of your sleepy head was to make sure of Shane's presence in the bed, so you rolled up to the other side, only to discover her absence.

You looked around the room, slightly confused but not really surprised. It was something that you could expect from a one night stand.

"Shane...?" you mumbled softly, still giving it a chance to dismiss your internal thoughts.

"maybe she just went and expects me to leave before she comes back" your inner voice echoed.

You were only in your panties, so you sat up and stretched your arms, letting out a soft sigh. You were ready to get dressed and start your walk of shame as soon as possible, but a sound coming from the kitchen stopped you in your tracks.

You felt footsteps coming towards the room, so you covered yourself with the sheets again. The door creaked open, revealing Shane's long and slim figure. She had two different colored mugs, one on each of her hands and a cigarette dangled from her lips.

She was wearing only a white tank shirt and black panties, her jet black hair all messy and her eyes were slightly black from the remnants of smudged makeup (that she didn't correctly remove after your shared shower).

Without a doubt, she was the hottest girl you had ever hooked up with.

"hey, you already up" Shane said, with an even deeper than usual morning voice, she came closer to you and offered you the cup "I was making myself coffee and I made some for you too, if you want it"

"oh, thanks" you said as you took the coffee and leaned back on the bed, sipping it and letting out a soft sigh of pleasure "I really needed that, thank you again, you really didn't have to"

Shane looked at you while taking a long drag on her cigarette, the morning light perfectly illuminating your face and your locks with a serene aura. Then her gaze went a little lower, discovering your bare body covered only by the almost sheer sheets.

"my pleasure" she responded to your gratitude with an alluring manner, giving you her very renowned Shane smirk.

You looked down at your cup, chuckling when you realized what was written in it.

"Best. lesbian. ever."

"nice mug you have here" you said, turning it around to show her the quote, making her laugh too "i'm gonna need the address of the place where you got this. immediately"

"I have no idea 'cause I actually didn't bought it" she responds to your request "it was a joke from my friend, she gave me that as a birthday gift last year"

"the quote is true tho" you remarked, still chuckling as Shane drew nearer, giving you a cute peck on the lips. "hell yeah it is" she purred, planting another kiss upon you, her passion and eagerness growing with each passing moment.

You reciprocated with the same initiative, as Shane put out her almost finished cigarette on the ashtray that laid on the nightstand. Both of you left your mugs too, quickly forgetting the coffee.

You sat up on your forearms and Shane crawled up over you, placing one of her hands on the mattress while the other one moved to your nape, deepening the kiss.

You placed your hand on Shane's waist, caressing the soft flesh as her kisses went lower, nibbling upon the sensitive skin of your neck and licking the already dark marks from last night.

Her hands traced lower, softly gripping your breasts and she separated from the kiss to attach her mouth to your nipple, sucking on it and squeezing the other.

She slowly moved towards your legs, her body getting closer until she was on her knees in front of you. As she did that, she gave you a look full of lust, her lips kissing and her hands gripping the supple flesh of your inner thighs.

With each second passing, the dampness in your panties grew more, yearning to be pleased. As a reflex, you attempted to close your legs, but her strong grip kept them firmly in place.

"be a good girl and spread your legs" she deeply whispered, and you complied without complaint. Her voice slightly muffled by her lips grazing your thighs, getting closer and closer to your sensitive spot.

You audibly moaned as her tongue touched the drenched fabric of your undergarments, licking a long stripe and sucking your wetness. Her teeth grasped the waistband of your panties, slowly drawing them down your legs with her mouth.

The sight was absolutely alluring, and turned you into a whimpering mess. Her hands squeezed your flesh once more and her mouth met your bare pussy, eliciting a resounding gasp from your lips.

She began to suck loudly on your clit as your head fell back in ecstasy, your eyes darted shut as you firmly grip her hair.

"Fuck! don't stop" you moan and as if that weren't enough, her deft fingers found their way to your sensitive nipple, teasing and twisting it.

“you like that, baby?” she whispered, her deep voice muffled by your pussy. The room was filled with the sultry wet sounds, causing you to writhe beneath her touch.

“oh god Shane” your moans only seem to heighten her desire, making her more eager, almost pussy drunk. She eats you out like she is a woman starved, and you are her last meal.

A broken "fuck" escaped from your lips the moment when her hot tongue started intercalating between fucking you and flattening against your clit, knowing that it was over for you.

Somehow, she delves her fingers into the mess and the overwhelming stimulation quickly drove you to the edge, making you cum all over her mouth with loud and broken whimpers, one of your hands gripping the sheets and the other roughly pulling Shane's hair.

A shiver courses through your spine when she used her tongue to clean up every last drop of your release, her fingers still inside of you, moving slowly to extend your high as much as possible.

After you calm down from your high, Shane hovered over you and pressed sweet kisses on your open, breathless mouth. She removed her fingers and sucked them clean before helping you pull up your panties again.

"i love the way you taste" Shane whispers in your ear, and you swore you could hear her smirk. You were just about to reply, but you both stopped your movements at the loud sound of knocking on the door.

"cominggg" Shane lazily said, putting on the first pair of pants and socks she found laying on the floor. She walked out of the room and the next thing you heard was the door creaking open.

"hey Shane, sorry to wake you up" a womanly voice says "I just dropped by to ask you if you could give me back my bra from yesterday, it's my favorite"

"oh, hey Laura.. uhh yeah, jus gimme me one second and I'll look for it" you hear Shane say as you felt her footsteps coming near the room.

You can't help being embarrassed, it makes you feel kinda ridiculous laying naked in a bed that yesterday was filled for another girl, so you start putting your clothes on and grabbing one of Shane's cigarettes, lighting it and taking a drag.

"It shouldn't bother me so much. it was just a one time thing. with a stranger. It doesn't mean anything, so why do I feel like this? god im so fucking stupid" your mind echoed while you got dressed as fast as you could.

Shane walked into the room, not even looking at you and just focusing on finding that piece. She opened a drawer and took out a pink, lacy, probably D-cup bra and just walked out. Your mind couldn't find a moment where you had felt more uncomfortable than this.

"found it, there you go" you heard her say "thanks babe, call me later" the girl replied.

"sure.... see you around" Shane responded, and you can quickly feel her closing the door and her steps coming closer again. You took a drag of your cigarette and grabbed your purse.

"hey hey, you are going already?" Shane confusedly leaned on the door frame while you were putting your clothes on, her eyes still lingering at your body.

"um, yeah" you responded while your mind struggled to make an excuse and tried to sound the most unbothered it could. "I forgot I have... a deadline today, so yeah.... i'm out, sorry"

"oh, ok" she said, kinda weirded out by your sudden attitude, but still understanding. You took another long drag, trying to figure out your next words.

"hope I see you around, some of these days" you say as you turn around to put out your cigarette in the ashtray. Your words were genuine, but at the same time you didn't know if you wanted to see her again. Your head was a complete mess.

"yeah, me too" she got closer to caress your check and give you a peck on the lips, smiling at you. You swore you saw her eyes slightly glint, but didn't give it too much importance.

You both said your goodbyes with a bittersweet taste on your mouths and as soon as you were on the elevator, you took out your phone and called your best friend Alice.

"Hey Al, wanna go to the Planet for coffee in like, 10 minutes?"

"so yeah, all that happened" you and Alice were sitting at a small table outside, both with coffees in your hands.

"well, that explains the hickeys all over your neck" she said, pointing out the dark fresh marks decorating your neck and collarbones.

"oh my god, are they THAT obvious?!" you responded covering your neck with your hands, completely embarrassed.

"I noticed them as soon as you walked in, you are gonna have to invest on some good concealer or a scarf" you laughed at her remark, but your laughter stopped the moment you saw Shane walking in.

"fuck, that is the girl I hooked up with last night!" you whispered to Alice, pointing at her under the table and trying to hide your face. Al turned to look at Shane's direction, and then turned again to look at you with wide eyes and a shocked expression.

"Shane?! You arrived from New York one fucking week ago and Shane already fucked you?? this is so fucking ridiculous, its like she has a radar for every girl she hasn't fucked yet!"

"shut up, Al! shit, she's coming, act normal" you said, freaking out.

"hey guys, didn't expect to see you here" Shane said, greeting you with a confused look on her face. Then, her eyes fell to your neck, noticing the dark hickeys and smirking.

"um, yeah... I just decided to grab a quick coffee with my friend on the way, Shane, this is Alice- " you nervously said.

"yeah, I know, we are very close" Shane says "unfortunately" Alice replies.

"well, see you both around, wish you luck with your deadline y/n" she says with a kind of sarcastic tone and turned around to go with Marina, Shane's shot of espresso already in her hand.

"what a tiny and crazy little world" you say, trying to process everything that happened in just an hour.

"crazy, yes.. but not tiny" Alice responds with a smirk on her face, already thinking of linking you to Shane and expanding her board.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

clic to read pt.1!

guysss please let me know if you want a part 3 and I will happily write it! I already have a lot of ideas. Hope you enjoyed and I'm very grateful for every repost, like or share you want to give.

(sorry again if there's any spelling or writing mistakes)

[msallurea]

Your desires were never bigger than you, you created them..so why fear?

This post is actually inspired by a small thought I had while getting ready to take a bath 😭

So anyways back to my point, I will based this entirely on my experience just now, so boom, I was randomly thinking OF my desires wondering "hmm I already know every drop of loa info I need to know so why am I not applying?" That's when another thought of mine appeared and asked "is it because I wanna manifest a lot of things at once that I'm not applying or maybe I'm doing something wrong?" Then it was followed by "I've already affirmed before that I had all my desires/my dream life what was the issue? I know that the 3d doesn't matter, wavering doesn't slow down my manifestation, I've been WANTING my desires since forever, I've manifested things before what was so different about this?" And then that is when a very distinct voice said in my head

"Why would I be worried about not being able to have a desire that I created? How can my desire be bigger than me when I AM the one who created the desire in the first place?"

This has me sitting for a few moments rethinking EVERYTHING. That's when I began to change my perspective on this whole desiring thing entirely, if I am the creator of my reality and I created the desire in the first place and I also created the confusion AND ocercomplications around even having my desire, why am I questioning about something that I can just decide to have..BECAUSE I AM THE CREATOR OF MY REALITY. This honestly made Mr chuckle a bit. Especially because if had me thinking about people with epiphanies of loa, they aren't epiphanies at all, i already knew exactly what everything meant BUT I created all these overcomplications and rules and such that i literally forgot that I create all the time so therefore why would me creating fulfillment in having my desires be any different.

Then my mind started wandering to different methods because my mind already got the gist NOW that I literally do create the lack, the desire AND the fulfillment. But then it had me wondering how can I lack or desire something that I've already created? This is when one of Edward art's vids kicked in and I hear his voice in my head telling me:

"lack is an illusion and desire is an illusion, there is only just fulfillment and acceptance of that fulfillment"

So that's when my mind sat for a few seconds then went back to the whole methods thing and I thought about well hm..since I'm the creator of my reality what method should I do? That's when my mind began to go back again and it then says:

"Imagine someone anyone (for me this was higher self, my mom, and my lover at the moment) and they gave you a gift it had everything you could've ever desired and they told you yes it is all yours, you can have it its yours"

So though it wasn't vivid I didn't concern myself with that I just kept hearing the voice say yes it is yours yes you can have it yes you have it. Now it wasn't very long but it definitely made me wonder, a lot of times many of us don't "want to manifest" simply because they feel they don't deserve the things they want. In my case I knew I voild have the things I wanted and even in a way deserved it but my issue was that it was so much I wanted I didn't want to be judged for making my life the way I wanted it to be. This is when another thought comes up and says

"How could I be scared of something I created?"

This really had me thinking especially with times I've doubted and second guessed etc not only was I choosing the opposite of what I created but I was saying no to something I created that I constantly searched to get a yes to, it didnt matter what anyone else answer was the only yes I ever really needed was my own because it was my own creation.

This is all I have right now but I just thought this thought was really funny to me

[mattiesgf]

scribbles - m.r x reader - ch2

(this is a series, all ch's linked here !)

summary - dash&lily!au, mattheo and reader communicate through a book. this chapter is just a series of dares, but dare I say it gets more interesting in the next ch?

word count - above 2k

a/n - so not much romance-romance, just harmless fun but next ch is much better, this is more of an filler to getting to know each other anonymously.

(it also switches between pov's, sorry if that's a bit confusing)

He quickly scribbled in his response, his hand steady as he wrote. “Alright, mystery girl, you asked for it.”

“Alright, here’s your dare,” Mattheo wrote, his handwriting slightly rushed but legible. “Go to the Restricted Section in the library and find the dustiest, most forgotten book you can—none of the usual boring stuff. Pick something completely bizarre, something that makes you question why it even exists.”

He paused, grinning as he added the twist. “Then, take it to the librarian, act as if you have a genuine doubt or something. But here’s the catch: you’ve got to keep a straight face. Bonus points if it’s hilariously awkward.”

Mattheo leaned back for a second, re-reading his words, then added the final touch. “You’ve got 48 hours. Make it count, Mystery Girl. Leave the journal back here when you’re done.”

Satisfied, he tucked the journal back into its hiding spot behind the rock, dusted his hands, and stood up. With a smirk, he walked away, imagining how this dare would play out.

* 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷 *

I picked up the journal from the alcove a bit later, brushing off a stray leaf that had found its way onto the cover. Flipping it open, I read his words, the dare scrawled out in that slightly messy handwriting. Restricted Section? Madame Pince? Awkwardness?

I couldn’t help but grin. This was going to be interesting, wasn’t it? A challenge like this, especially one with the potential to irritate the ever-watchful librarian, had just enough chaos to keep things exciting.

What could go wrong? Actually, a lot. But then again, that’s what made it fun.

This definitely wasn’t like me. I wasn’t exactly one for making scenes—especially not in the library of all places. If anything, I prided myself on being invisible, blending into the background like one of the dusty old portraits on the walls. But Mystery Guy? He seemed… intriguing.

Maybe this little journal game would be worth stepping out of the shadows for. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? A stern glare from Madame Pince? A bit of awkwardness?

I walked into the library, the familiar musty smell of parchment and ink wrapping around me like an old cloak. Madame Pince was already glaring at me from behind her desk, her hawk-like eyes tracking my every move. Classic.

It wasn’t the first time I’d slipped into the Restricted Section with a forged note, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Snape’s horrendous cursive was oddly convenient for these little escapades—Madame Pince never bothered double-checking. I tugged the crumpled scrap of parchment from my pocket, gave her my most innocent smile, and held it out.

Her eyes narrowed as she took it, scanning it briefly before huffing and waving me through.

“Key, please?” I asked, doing my best to keep my voice steady.

Madame Pince glared at me, her lips pursing so tight they practically disappeared. With a dramatic sigh, she reached under her desk, pulled out the rusted key, and dropped it into my hand like it personally offended her.

“Don’t cause trouble,” she hissed, her voice barely above a whisper but sharp enough to cut.

I nodded quickly, pocketing the key. “Of course not,” I muttered, already heading toward the towering gate of the Restricted Section. The lock clicked open with a low groan, and the gate swung inward. The air was colder here, quieter, like the books themselves were holding their breath. Perfect. Now to find the weirdest, dustiest book in the place.

Quite the collection, really. Titles jumped out at me like they were daring me to take them: "The Definitive Encyclopedia of Goblin Gossip," "How to Train Your Basilisk (and Why You Shouldn’t)." A quiet laugh slipped out before I could help it.

Then my eyes landed on "Scandalous Secrets of the Magical Aristocracy." I pulled it off the shelf and flipped it open, reading the first line:

"They say the walls of Malfoy Manor have ears, and this book has recorded everything." God. Damn. That was a little too on the nose to be comfortable.

Finally, I spotted it. The jackpot. A slim, leather-bound book with faded gold lettering: "Love Spells and Lust Charms: A Practical Guide." Dust practically puffed off it when I picked it up, and the embossed cover felt… oddly warm. Perfect.

Now came the hard part—Madame Pince. I clutched the book like it was perfectly normal to be walking out of the Restricted Section with a borderline scandalous manual. 

I walked up to Madame Pince’s desk, the book held tightly against me like a shield. Her hawk-like gaze zeroed in on me the moment I was within range.

“Can I help you?” she asked, her tone clipped and suspicious.

I cleared my throat, trying not to let my voice shake. “Uh, yeah. So, um, I found this book, and I was wondering… uh…” My brain short-circuited for a second as I glanced down at the title again. 

Pince’s eyebrow rose, and I swore she leaned in closer.

“...would you say the spells in here are… safe? You know, like… for beginners?”

Her lips pursed into a thin line. “Excuse me?”

“I mean—” I fumbled, my face growing hotter by the second. “Like, do they, um, work as advertised? Hypothetically?”

Madame Pince’s expression darkened, and I could practically hear the sound of my life expectancy shortening.

“This is a library, not a… relationship advice bureau!” she hissed, snatching the book from my hands. “And hypothetically, young lady, if you’re looking for such spells, you should perhaps reconsider your priorities!”

I stood there frozen, somewhere between mortified and amazed at how absolutely horrible this dare was.

“Go on, shoo!” she snapped, waving me away like a particularly irritating fly.

I turned and walked off quickly, my heart pounding as I made a beeline for the alcove. Mystery Guy was going to pay for this one.

I couldn’t help but laugh as I slipped out of Madam Pince’s line of sight. She was probably going to hate me for a while now, wasn’t she?

I quickly pulled out the journal and jotted down my response for Mystery Guy.

"God, you've got good dares, goddammit."

“I chose, Love Spells and Lust Charms. And no, she didn’t actually answer my question. Still worth it tho.”

“Anyways, dare complete. And I totally deserve to embarrass you just as much for your next dare, just you wait.”

I slipped the journal back into the same spot, behind the rock. I walked away, already thinking about how I was going to keep this game interesting for both of us.

*𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰’𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷 *

Mattheo sat down in the alcove, the journal resting on his lap as he stared at her reply. A grin tugged at his lips as he read through it again. "God, you've got good dares, goddammit."

He could already picture her face when she had to ask Madame Pince about that book. He chuckled to himself.

“I chose, Love Spells and Lust Charms. And no, she didn’t actually answer my question. Still worth it tho.” He was impressed. He didn’t think she’d go through with it, but she did.

“Anyways, dare completely. And I totally deserve to embarrass you just as much for your next dare, just you wait.”

Mattheo smirked. Challenge accepted.

He took a deep breath, grabbed the pen, and quickly wrote back:

"Not bad. I'm impressed you went through with it. I bet Madame Pince won’t be able to look at you the same for a while."

“But alright, your turn now. I’ll make sure your next dare is one you won’t forget. You’ve got 48 hours. Don’t disappoint me, Mystery Girl.”

With that, he closed the journal and slid it back into place behind the rock. He couldn’t help but feel a little more invested in this whole back-and-forth now. It was like they were building up to something. He just wasn’t sure what yet.

He stood up, brushing off his jeans, and left the alcove, a small smile still on his face.

* 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷 *

I couldn't help but grin as I wrote the dare, imagining his face when he realized what I was making him do.

"Alright, here’s your dare: After your next Potions class, walk up to Snape when he's packing up and ask him, real casual, 'Professor Snape, I was going through the Restricted Section, and I came across a book called "Love Spells and Lust Charms". I couldn’t help but notice your name was mentioned in it... Why exactly is that? Was there a charm you might’ve been experimenting with?'

I smirked as I wrote the last part.

"You’ve gotta ask it with the most innocent tone, like you're just really curious, no awkwardness. Bonus points if you don't immediately get sent to detention. You’ve got 48 hours. Good luck, mystery boy."

I snapped the journal shut, leaning back with a satisfied smirk. This one was going to be interesting.

*𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰’𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷 *

Mattheo walked out of Potions, grinning to himself. This dare was absolutely gold. He made his way over to Snape's desk, trying to act as casual as possible—though the slight bounce in his step betrayed his excitement.

Snape was hunched over a pile of papers, his greasy hair falling over his face as he scribbled furiously, like he was trying to find the most depressing way to end a sentence. Mattheo lingered there for a second, making sure the coast was clear, before he cleared his throat.

"Professor Snape?" Mattheo said, his voice smooth but just a little too innocent.

Snape didn’t look up at first, too busy scribbling on his endless stream of scrolls. "What is it now, Mr. Riddle?" Snape’s voice was low and sharp, like he had a permanent migraine.

Mattheo leaned in a little closer, trying to sound concerned. “Well, sir, I was in the library the other day—just browsing, you know? And I came across a really interesting book…”

Snape’s quill paused mid-sentence, and he finally looked up, his expression already annoyed. “What book?”

“Love Spells and Lust Charms: A Practical Guide,” Mattheo said with an air of faux-innocence. “And, funny thing, your name is in there. A lot. In, like, the previous borrower's list. I’m just curious, Professor. What exactly does your name have to do with, uh... Lust Charms?”

Snape’s eyes narrowed so much, they could’ve been a single slit. “That’s none of your business, Mr. Riddle,” he snapped, voice as cold as a boggart’s heart.

Mattheo tilted his head, squinting in exaggerated thought. “But, sir, it’s just so strange. I mean, your name pops up in this book—like, a lot. What exactly were you researching? Any chance you were trying to find the secret to romance?”

The room felt suddenly smaller as Snape stood up, his robes billowing dramatically around him. His hands balled into fists, and for a second, Mattheo thought Snape might pull out his wand and turn him into a toad.

“Mr. Riddle,” Snape said slowly, his voice venomous, “you will regret this.”

Mattheo grinned wider, fully enjoying the moment. “Oh, come on, Professor. I’m just asking about academic interests. I mean, you are a Potions Master, after all. I assume you know a thing or two about mixing… ingredients?”

Snape’s glare could’ve melted stone. “Detention. Tomorrow night. My office. You’ll regret that, too.”

Mattheo raised his eyebrows. “Oh, I’ll be sure to bring some ingredients of my own,” he said, winking cheekily before turning on his heel and strolling out.

As he left, he could hear Snape muttering something under his breath, probably wishing he'd never set foot in Hogwarts. Mattheo chuckled to himself—mission accomplished, and honestly, Snape's glare had never looked so funny.

Well, the dare was complete, and now... it was time to face the music. Or, more accurately, the detention.

Lorenzo caught up to Mattheo just as he was walking out of the dungeons, practically buzzing from the chaos he’d just caused.

“You really did it, didn’t you?” Lorenzo said, eyes wide. “You actually went up to Snape and asked about that book? You’re insane, Mattheo.”

Mattheo just shrugged, grinning like he’d just won a prize. “What can I say? The dare didn’t say I couldn’t. Besides, I figured it’d be fun. Snape was all ready to hex me, but I’m fine. No biggie.”

Lorenzo scoffed. “No biggie? Dude, you just asked Snape about a book called Love Spells and Lust Charms. Are you actually trying to get yourself murdered?”

Mattheo’s grin didn’t fade. “It wasn’t that bad. He was mad, sure, but he didn’t actually kill me. I survived.”

“You survived? Are you serious?” Lorenzo said, throwing his hands up in disbelief. “You’re really out here living your best life with Snape glaring at you like he wants to turn you into a toad, huh?”

Mattheo shrugged again. “It’s whatever. I got detention with him tomorrow night, so we’ll see how that goes.”

Lorenzo froze, his face morphing into complete shock. “Wait. Detention? With Snape? What? Why? What did you say to him, Mattheo? Was it because of your little journal?”

Mattheo chuckled, brushing it off like it was no big deal. “Yeah, I might’ve asked him why his name was in 'Lust Charms' borrowing list. You know, just trying to get some clarity. Snape looked ready to throw me into the dungeons, but I made it out alive.”

Lorenzo stared at him like he had two heads. “So, let me get this straight. You’ve got detention with Snape—Snape—because you wanted to know why he’s in a book about lust charms? What is wrong with you?”

Mattheo gave him a cheeky grin. “Honestly? It seemed like a good idea at the time. Plus, you know, it makes the whole dare more interesting.”

Lorenzo rolled his eyes so hard it almost seemed like he was going to pass out. “Mattheo, you are a complete idiot. You know that, right?”

Mattheo smirked. “It’s fine. I’ve got it under control. I’ve survived worse.”

Lorenzo raised an eyebrow. “Worse? Are you telling me you’ve actually survived a Snape detention, Mattheo? You’re either really stupid or really brave. Maybe both.”

Mattheo laughed. “It’s a mix of both, honestly. I’m just here for the chaos. It’s way more fun that way.”

Lorenzo snorted. “Sure, chaos. But seriously, what’s next? You gonna serenade McGonagall with Wizards in the Moonlight?”

Mattheo raised a brow, then smirked. “Hey, don’t give me ideas. But I’ve got to admit, it’s kind of fun messing with people. Especially when they least expect it.”

Lorenzo shook his head. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, Romeo. You’re definitely falling for her.”

Mattheo did a double take, looking at him like he was crazy. “Who?”

Lorenzo crossed his arms and gave him a knowing look. “Oh, come on. You can’t tell me you’re not into her. You’re doing all this for a girl you don’t even know.”

Mattheo scoffed. “No way. I’m just here for the dares, man. I’m not a puppy in love.”

Lorenzo smirked. “Right, right. Sure. You’re just playing it cool. But honestly? It’s kinda cute watching you try so hard.”

Mattheo rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress the small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Shut up, you’re annoying.”

Lorenzo grinned. “Uh-huh, I’ve got a feeling this mystery girl’s got you wrapped around her finger.”

Mattheo just winked and walked off, saying over his shoulder, “We’ll see, Enzo. We’ll see.”

omg yay! ch2! it was sm fun writing this, makes me wanna shift faster. and sm ppl liked ch 1? makes me so so so happy <3 the taglist is also open so comment if you'd like to be on it! ty ! - rey

[whiteobsidian]

from cyra, to you

My struggle with LOA and how I overcame it.

During the summer (in 2020), around July I read a community post about the law of assumption, then I really did my research and had a better understanding of the law of assumption. It was quite fun and painful, I would read the same posts just to get reassurance that what I was doing was “correct”. Growing up with only listening to instructions made it a bit difficult to transition from the law of attraction to assumption. Though the law of attraction didn’t do  me any good.

When I got into the law of attraction in (last) december it was like a miracle had happened and I could change anything I “disliked” all by listening to some music online. I discovered those videos by accident, and I don’t regret it but I do regret abusing it and myself.  During quarantine + online school I was probably at my lowest point in life, I was depressed and scared and my anxiety had turned severe, especially as a black person during this period. I had also gained weight and my acne was worse than ever, In conclusion : I was insecure. Using subliminals was my escape from that, being so desperate to fit into today's beauty standards , I wasn’t doing myself any justice, I would get angry at the 3d for not showing what I wanted to see. I drank 2 liters of water a day, why wasn’t I getting results? I listened at low volume, why wasn’t I getting results? This mindset did change…. well kinda.

As I wrote earlier, I read a community tab from one of my favorite submarkes talking about how they used the law of assumption to manifest. I was obviously confused, I didn’t even know there were different laws/ ways to manifest. This got me into watching Hyler and Sammy Ingrams videos for a whole day straight. I was fascinated to say the least, and I was even more excited learning that visualization can also help you manifest, since I am a big day dreamer. A few weeks later, I had an instagram account and followed lots of coaches and accounts. I was doing self concept challenges and abundance challenges. I had manifested a lot of new things (clothes, macbook, food) but I wanted something more, something I saw as “BIG”. You might've already guessed : appearance changes.

I didn’t want to change for me, I wanted to change so I would be treated differently, that I would have a better life with prettiness. I had a ugly mindset and this ugly mindset told me I was ugly, I never really thought I was an ugly person before and I'm questioning why I ever thought I was in the first place, I had completely changed and it scared me, I was desperate. I would get mad when I didn't see what i wanted, this led me to repeating the old story over and over again. It took me longer than I expected to get my appearance changed because I had doubts. The 3d is a reflection, a movie of your thoughts. All I needed to do was to change my mindset on how I saw myself. 

Self Concept

Self concept changed my whole view on manifesting and honestly myself.  Your self concept is how you see yourself, how others treat you, how you see the world etc etc, for example if you believe that men or women treat you badly then it's going to reflect your reality. I had a lot of old  thoughts and assumptions that would mold into the 3d. Remember that no one is going to manifest for you, you have to do this yourself, know you are powerful, beautiful, and smart. Nobody can change these beliefs you have set in your mind except you. You need to work on yourself. 

Techniques and Methods

i’m going to put this out now, you DON'T need to do any methods or techniques to get “faster results” do whatever makes you feel comfortable, if you're new to the law of assumption feel free to try any techniques you're interested in, just don’t be pressured to. It's not mandatory to do all this extra stuff, unless you really want to. 

Timing

I know that all of us want our results to come quick, instant even and it is possible, but only unless you truly believe that. Know that your affirming is going to work and that your results are already there, if you are affirming for quick instant results, know that you will get quick and instant results. You don't necessarily have to believe in your affirmation, you just need to believe that what your doing is going to work. If you've been affirming and listening to subliminals for months and you're still “not” getting results it's not the 3d, it's you. 

Why?

You can manifest anything you want, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise but question yourself, why? Especially if it's an appearance change, I hope you're manifesting an appearance change because you're doing it for YOU. Not for validation, or to actually “feel” pretty. You are a powerful being, don't let others determine your self worth or determine who you are. 

Apply

Manifesting is simple, especially in the law of assumption, all you need to do is affirm, persist, and know.

Affirm for what you want 

Persist in that thought over and over

Know that your thought will materialize into the 3d no matter what

STOP over consuming info online, I don’t care if a loa creator posted, I bet you already know what it's about by the title. Stop going on instagram and tumblr just to read things you already know, if you're really that impulsive then delete the apps! Don’t waste all your time for reassurance to see what you're doing is right. There is no right or wrong, just manifest.

Have fun!

Have fun when manifesting, don’t make it seem like it is a chore or it's that pile of homework that's sitting around in your room. Think about it, you can manifest your dream life by just thinking, I want you all to have fun when manifesting, enjoy it! Know that you have everything you want all just by assuming!

Remember, you’re one of a kind <3

with all my love, 

xoxo cyra, 111 222

ps. I did manifest an appearance change (and everything else I wanted), all by working on myself! :)

[tomblythismyhusband]

dress [ young!snow x fem!reader ]

[summary]: young!student!snow x fem!reader | You’ve had a crush on Coriolanus for years and tonight, wearing a dress you picked out just for him, you finally get what you want.

[warnings]: 18+, smut, pnv, language, other smut warnings yk yk, fingering, unprotected

[wc:] 2.4k

[note:] wrote this story in first person…. can’t decide if i like it or not +inspired by the song - [dress - taylor swift]

My eyes swept across the busy ballroom floor of the academy. It was filled to the brim with people laughing, drinking, dancing, all of it. I pulled down my red silk dress nervously that was a little too short for my liking.

I always had been very adamant about wearing what I wanted, but not today. I was here to impress someone, specifically Coriolanus Snow.

We have been close friends since we were practically babies. Our families grew up together. I know all his secrets, and he knows all of mine. I was one of the only people that knew about his family’s financial state, his worries, and his heartaches. I never ever thought twice about judging him for it either. The world was a tough place. Especially after the war.

My eyes still searched for him. A tiny doubt in the back of my mind wondered if he even would show up. I had never thought to ask, I just assumed.

I sighed and grabbed a drink of posca and strode over to Clemensia and Arachne, who were also close friends to me. When I came over to join their group, they were talking about a guy, as usual. When they noticed me Arachne flashed a grin.

“Speaking of obsessed….” She said in a teasing tone.

I had no idea what they were talking about before so my eyebrows knit in confusion.

I cocked my head to the side. “What are you two talking about?” I asked, taking a sip of the sweet liquor in my hands.

Clemensia giggled. “We were just talking about Festus Creed and how obsessed he’s been with me lately.” She smirked. “Reminds me of someone…”

Arachne let out a laugh as I felt my cheeks heat. I had told them about my little crush on Coriolanus but I haven’t gotten used to their taunts yet.

“Stop it…” I murmured.

“I say you make a move tonight.” Arachne suggested raising her eyebrows.

I sighed. Something had been off between Coriolanus and I recently. I wasn’t entirely sure, I’m thinking It’s just stress. He’s been so focused on winning the Plinth Prize this year that he’s been working himself to death.

“I don’t think he sees me that way. We’ve been friends for so long.”

Clemensia let out a laugh. “With the way you’re dressed tonight? He’ll definitely see you that way.”

I blushed again, running my hands down the fabric. I hated being desperate but this dress was all I was depending on. The color, the length, the way it hugged my body, were all decisions I made with Coriolanus in mind.

Arachne’s smile widened. “I see him. He’s here.” Her excitement was obvious. Either she was actually excited for me to shoot my shot or she was excited to watch me fail horribly. I could never tell with her.

I turned my body slightly, stealing a glance at Coriolanus. He was gorgeous. His blonde curls were neat and his dress shirt and pants pressed to perfection. I knew I couldn’t stare for too long but I couldn’t help myself. He looked bored, standing away from the crowds.

I turned away from the sight and looked at Clemmie and Arachne. “I’m going over.” I said confidently. “It’s fine we’re friends.” They both egged me on as I placed my now empty posca I had downed onto a platter of dirty cups and started to make my way over to him. My heart was thumping in my chest, my palms sticky with sweat. I was never this nervous with him in class, or when we would study together but this romantic dance setting changed everything.

He was looking around when suddenly his blue eyes met mine. His body language instantly changed as I smiled at him. He looked…. nervous? Uncomfortable? He was so hard to read sometimes.

“Hey you made it!” I said sweetly, masking the nervousness I was feeling.

His mouth quirked up into a smile. “You know I wouldn’t miss it.” He said lowly. His eyes flicked down at my dress then back up to my eyes. “Nice dress Y/n” He said quietly. I blushed looking down at it. “Thanks… I picked it out specially for today.” When I looked back up at him he looked overwhelmed. I felt extremely awkward and bit my lip. “Wanna dance?” I said sticking out my hand. He hesitated for a moment before taking it. I prayed that he wouldn’t feel how nervous I was. I led him to the dance floor.

We positioned ourselves across from each other as I put one of my hands on his shoulders as he held the other. I felt his hand snake around my waist. I’ve waltzed countless times before but doing it with Coriolanus made me trip over my own feet.

Coriolanus chuckled, looking down at me. “Clumsy today?” He teased. I felt his hand squeeze mine as I returned a giggle.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I sighed, smiling at him.

We continued to dance till my feet were numb. I felt much more comfortable now, my nervousness melting away as he spun me around effortlessly.

After a while I felt him lean in close to my ear. “Want to go take a breather?”

I couldn’t be more happy with a question as I nodded, following him off the dance floor. I stole a glance at Clemensia, raising my eyebrows at her, as she grinned back at me. He led me out of the noisy ballroom to the empty hallway that lay just outside.

I leaned up against the wall, letting out a breath. “Never knew dancing could take so much out of a person.” I laughed.

Coriolanus smirked, looking amused. “You're a good dancer. You lasted a lot longer than I expected you to.”

My cheeks heated at the statement. I don’t think he meant for it to be suggestive but It definitely made my mind go to the gutter.

He paused, lips parted, then laughed at himself. “That sounded wrong didn't it?”

I bit back a giggle looking at him. “Definitely did.”

He sighed looking at me, almost longingly. “It’s getting late. I didn’t really want to stay here too long, I going to head home.”

A pang of panic flashed through my body. He can’t leave yet! I’ve barely gotten to spend time with him like I wanted.

“Awh come on.. don’t let the fun end yet.” I pouted, giving him a small smile.

His voice lowered as he moved closer to me. “Or…..You could come with me… Tigris isn’t home.”

I felt my breath hitch at the suggestion. I couldn’t decipher where he was going with this.

“Why would I care if Tigris is home? I love her….” I wanted to know his real intentions.

His intense gaze met my eyes. “Y/n.. I was hoping we could…..”

Without thinking I leaned up, kissing him. His lips felt exactly like I had daydreamed about. Soft and warm. He let out a grunt as I kissed him, before I pulled back. I stared up at him and silently prayed that I read into the situation correctly. He stared at me for a moment, studying my face. “I want you Y/n.” He said in a low voice, dripping with desire.

I let out a small gasp. “Are you s-“

“I’m sure.” He said cutting me off. He pulled my waist against him. “What do you say darling?”

Next thing I was stumbling into Coriolanus’ bedroom. His Grandma’am was dead asleep and Tigris was gone for the night. My heart fluttered as he closed and locked his bedroom door behind him before pushing me up against the stiff wood. I had been in Coriolanus’ room many times but never was I this excited.

His lips mashed into mine, desperately. I felt his big hands slowly travel up my thighs.

“You look so stunning in this dress..” He mumbled against my lips.

“I wore it just for you.” I whispered. He was flattered and pulled back.

I bit my lip and stared up at him.

“I only bought this dress so you could take it off…”

He moaned at my words, meeting my lips for another hungry kiss.

“I’ll make sure that happens darling.” He promised as his hands slid up to grip my waist tighter. My panties were absolutely soaked, as his tongue slipped into my mouth causing me to let out a tiny moan. He was starting to get rough, dominant.

Luckily neither of us were virgins so our hands knew exactly where to go. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his lips more into mine. He growled as he pushed up against me.

“Take it off…..” I whispered, slightly shifting my body in my dress. I let one of the straps of my dress fall slack off my shoulder. I watched as Coriolanus grinned and wrapped his arms around me to fumble with the zipper. I felt him slowly zip me down, my body feeling more exposed with every moment. His fingers were gentle as they ran over my skin.

With the dress fully unzipped he slid it down, the red fabric pooling at my feet like blood. He was silent for a moment as he gazed at my body. I had put on a lacy black bra and panty set that I was glad he got to see. He dragged one of his hands up to my breasts, lightly massaging them as his lips found my neck.

“I liked the dress, but I like you like this a lot more.” He mumbled into my neck as his hands squeezed my tits. I let out a moan as he nipped my skin. His hands were rough, his mouth gentle. I was in heaven.

My hands fumbled with the buttons of his dress shirt, unbuttoning them one by one. He contributed by pulling to off and throwing it to the ground. He was lean, the sharp angles of his body making my heart pound even harder. He was beautiful. I wanted him to destroy me.

I threw my hands around his neck and slammed his face against mine. He moaned into my mouth as my hands dug into his blonde hair.

“Let me pick you up.” He directed in a raspy voice between kisses. I did as directed and shifted my body so he could pick me up. His kisses still on my body, he picked me up, supporting me by my ass as my legs wrapped around his waist. I loved the feeling of his bare skin against my thighs.

He carried me to the bed and laid me down softly. I heard him unzip his pants and watched as they fell to the floor. I unclipped my bra, throwing it in the floor, earning a smirk from him.

His boxers went next, he slid them down, his big erection springing out. My breath hitched at the sight as I laid there, my panties still absolutely soaked. He climbed on top of me, smirking as he kissed my collar bone.

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll take care of you first.” He said in a low tone. I felt his cold hand slide then dip beneath the waistband of my panties.

His fingers felt around my folds. I couldn’t breathe. His touch soon found my clit and I jerked as he started to rub firm circles on the spot. He kept kissing my chest as his fingers moved faster and faster.

I could see stars as I closed my eyes, my breathing picking up pace. “Corio..” I moaned as I arched into his touch. My hands gripped the sheets on either side of me. No matter how loud my moans got he didn’t let up the pressure. A familiar knot signaling I was getting closer to an orgasm formed in the pit of my stomach.

Coriolanus kept squeezing and circling my clit as he left kisses on my jaw. Finally my eyes squeezed shut and white light flashed in my vision. My legs were shaking violently as he removed his fingers from my cunt.

I opened my eyes to see him suck his fingers, letting out a hum as he stared at me, proud of himself.

“Ready for more love?” He teased in a low voice as he hooked his finger on my panties pulling them off.

“I want you.” I replied, still dazed from the orgasm he had just given me.

He spread my legs, his iron grip keeping me still as I whimpered with need. Coriolanus rubbed the tip of his cock on my entrance before sinking into me.

He let out a low throaty moan as he started to move in and out of my pussy.

“Fuck you feel good.” He croaked, picking up speed. My jaw went slack as he moved. His thrusts becoming more and more aggressive.

I felt my eyes roll back with every swift motion. I felt the knot building in the pit of my stomach again signaling that I was climbing up to another orgasm.

Coriolanus’ right grip on me never faltered as he hit my g-spot perfectly with each stroke. “Corio.. I’m almost there.” I moaned, my hands clawing at his back.

“Just a little more darling.” He said in a rough voice. His eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth open letting out breaths of pleasure.

He shifted his body so he was closer to my face as his hips snapped against mine.

“You’re so gorgeous.” He murmured, gripping my hips as I let out a muffled cry. I couldn’t think. He filled all of my senses as I orgasmed around his cock.

He gave me a deep kiss as I squeezed around him. I was a shaken mess. Finally I felt him pull out and release on my tummy. His body fell next to mine as he kissed my neck.

“That was amazing Y/n.” He sighed, running his fingers gently over me.

I gave him a sleepy smile. “I’ve wanted you for so long.” I whispered, meeting his eyes. We were both still breathless and in a state of bliss.

He ran his hand through my hair and gave me a soft smile. “I’ve wanted you too, for a while now. That dress of yours just put me over the edge.”

I blushed at this statement as he pulled my close, encasing me in his arms

[non-empatheticloser]

Just A Little Dance

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Authors Note: Yo, so this is my first fic I ever finished (I'm lazy) and decided I felt it was worthy enough to actually be posted. I don't know if I will ever post another, but we shall see. Anyways I feel like there is rarely any Snape content I can enjoy, so I got my hands a little dirty and decided to do it myself.

p.s. proof read this to the best of my abilities, sorry if something sounds off I got dyslexia. If I read it too much I will change the whole thing. I hope my Snape lovers enjoy these supple crumbs.

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Summary: You decide to take Severus to the Yule Ball, even though you know he will argue with you. However, he decides that you owe him.

Word Count: 5.8k

Tags: Severus Snape x Fem!Reader, Fluff with Smut, Severus Snape x You, Submissive Reader, Choking, Spanking, Grumpy Severus, Professor Reader

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It was just a few weeks from the Yule ball at Hogwarts and you decided that you really wanted to take Severus, even if he would argue. Before you could do that you needed a way to get him to go shopping with you without suspecting anything. So, when you asked him to go with you while you picked out a few new clothes, he didn’t say no. “Hurry up Severus, I want to get there before the students are let out for the afternoon.” You are a few paces ahead of him as he elegantly strides behind you. “What is the rush? I would rather spend more time with you than going back to teach all of those pesky brats anyways.” Although he was arguing he did pick up the pace to match your speed. He reached down and interlocked his fingers into yours as you guided him through the crowd. His fingers were cold but strangely delicate. You've grown used to them over the years, and they’ve become a comfort to you. You pass many different street store and buildings before you come to a stop in front of Mrs. Shortem’s Dress and Suit, which was a small little shop that was located at the end of the street. It was known famously for having some of the best dresses in the wizarding world. There was no doubt that some of them had already been grabbed, but this was exactly the reason you wanted to beat all of the students before the afternoon bell. Today they would learn the date of the Yule ball, and there was no doubt they would all rush to grab the dresses and suits they desired. When you stopped in front of the store Severus raised his eyebrow as he looked over at you. “Buying a new dress? What exactly for?” He paused and looked at you. His eyebrows furrowed and his face stiffened in confusion. Only a split second later, you see the exact moment the realization hit him, and his eyes widened as he glanced back at the store. “No. Not happening. You know I don't like dancing.” He pulls his lanky fingers away from your hand and crosses his arms. “Severus please, I want to take you with me.” You look up at him and bat your eyelashes trying to get a pity ‘yes.' “No.” He says as he begins to turn around to walk down the street. “Fine. I guess I will ask someone else to take me then.” He stops in his tracks. You smirk, and cross your arms. 

I win. He lets out a sigh before turning around. He walks back up to you without saying a word and drags you both into the store before anyone else could witness where he was. Upon entering the store, your eyes try to take in all of the beauty that is around you. Looking up, you could see beautiful dresses hang from the racks and ceiling. No matter how many time you saw this place it never got old. 

The shop had a chandelier in the middle of the tall ceiling that managed to cast the light from the ceiling to the dresses making them sparkle. There were two floors of clothes, each floor had a decretive railing protecting people from its fall. The floor was pure black marble, and the walls were a brilliant color of silver with jeweled patterns dancing in it’s paint. It was magical, but not the magic you were used to. 

“Let’s hurry up before people see me in here,”  Severus mumbles. You ignore him and begin scanning the racks of dresses. “Go find something to try on. We will meet at the stairs when we’re done.” You urge him off. Now that you could shop— uninterrupted— you go back to inspecting the dresses. You scan the racks of dresses until one in particular caught your eye. The black jewels sparkled in the lights of the shop. It had an intricate pattern on top of the mesh that blended perfectly with your skin. You took it off the rack and admired it before heading to the changing room. Behind the curtain of the stall you had entered you stared at yourself in amazement. This was the one. This was the dress you wanted. You pulled back the curtain to try and find Severus to show him until, an idea sprang into your mind. The thought danced in your mind while you took off the dress before you head back to the stairs, where you said you would meet him. Severus was standing against the rail holding what you could only assume was a suit. You walked down the stairs causing him to turn around to look at you. “Are we ready to go now?” He looks at you holding something in a bag. He gives you a quizzical look almost as if he is asking ‘is that yours.’ “Yep, lets go grumpy.” You grab his hand as you both walk back to the school. As you walk back together Severus can't seem to shake the snarl on his face. “Oh come on now, going to a dance with me won't be that bad. Besides, I feel like the other professors need to see the side of you that I always do.” You squeezed his hand trying to get him to look at you. He makes a small glance in your direction before sighing. 

“It’s not that I don't want to go to a dance with you, but you know I don't do these types of things. Besides, all of students are going to be there, and I would rather not have to deal with… them.” He made a disgusting face at the last part of the sentence.

“Severus, it will be fine. No one will be paying attention to you.” “You don't think people will be paying attention to the teacher they despise when he suddenly starts dancing? Don’t be ridiculous, [Y/N].” 

You huff and begin to pick up your pace not wanting to argue with him right at this moment. He notices and picks up his own pace, his cloak flaring behind him. He reaches out and grabs your arm and pulls you back. “[Y/N], I never said I wouldn’t go. I just said it’s hard for me to do these things.” He stares into your eyes, “and I’ll be damned if you go with someone else.” He gives you a reassuring squeeze on your arm before letting you go and returning to his usual stance. 

“Thank you.” You give him a smile and hook your arm in his as you walk back to the school. When you approach the doors of Hogwarts the noon bell chimes and you hear the voices of students begin to rush through the halls. Severus decides it would be best to walk around and go through the side door to reduce the possibility of getting trampled. Severus opens the door with a flick of his wand and lets you walk in before he follows and locks the door back. “Thought we weren't allowed to use these doors,” you tease and shove your shoulder into his side. 

“Are you going to snitch on me?” He raises his eyebrow back at you. Now that you two aren’t in public Severus can finally be himself. He is quiet warm on the inside when no one is around. He begins to walk up to you and places his hands on your side before kissing your forehead. He lets out an exhausted sigh as if the trouble of walking through town was enough to make him tired.

“When is this dance that I have to go to again?” Severus sets his forehead against yours. It didn’t bother you though, because it seemed to be his way of calming down. “Next week, Sev.” You rests yours hands around his neck and twirl your fingers through his hair. He seemed to melt further into you and let out a sigh before he pulled away and hands you your bag. “Here,” he extends his arm holding the dress you just bought. "I will see you after classes are done. If I spend too much time with you I won't want to teach today.” You take the bag that held the dress with a pout on your face. “You don't even want to see what I bought?” You ask as you wiggle up against him trying to prompt him to go further. He lets out a small chuckle at your performance, but still begins pushing you towards the door. It was a small thing about him that you never took for granted. His laugh was something that always seemed to melt your heart. “Go on, I will see you later tonight���,” he leans down to whisper in your ear, “and you can show me Exactly. What. You. Bought.” This leaves a shiver running down your spine as you walk out the door to head back to your classroom. You couldn’t wait for tonight. 

____________________________________________________________ “Severus hurry up! I don't want to be late!” You call out to him from the hallway as you wait for him to open the door. You decide to knock one more time, but before your hand could make contact with the door it swings open, and Severus meets your eyes. For a split second you catch him break the gaze, as his eyes got a glimpse of your dress. Last week you never did show Severus your dress. Things kind of escalated a little to fast, and well… one thing led to another… Anyways, you could tell Severus was enjoying the view, drinking you in with his eyes. God… it wouldn’t be long before he made you thirsty as well. 

He was dressed in his usual all black except instead of his cloak he had a tailcoat on, and a black bowtie to complement it. It outlined his slender body beautifully, and made him look very handsome. “Stop that!” You give him a playful slap on the arm. Come on we need to be there a little early, we are still professors after all.” The slap seemed to bring his attention back as he sighs in agreement. 

“Fine, but later you will have no excuses to use on me when I get you alone.” He says in his usual low tone. He adjusts his sleeves as he resets the scowl on his face to prepare for his future interactions. “Lead the way, Professor [L/N].” “Ha ha, very funny.” You roll your eyes before walking toward where the ball would be held. As you walked you could feel Severus’s eyes glued to the back of you almost as if he was entranced. After a few seconds, you feel his arm snake its way around your waste as you walk almost as if saying, ‘you are mine tonight.’ The music was a little loud and you could hear it from down the hall. The ballroom was empty of students right now, so you and Severus decide to make your way up to the rest of the professors who were also waiting for the students to arrive.

Minerva spotted you first a strolled up to you with a smile on her face. “Oh, how lovely to see you here dear. I was beginning to think you wouldn’t make it.” You see her sneak a glance at Severus, and you smirk to yourself at how you were able to get him to come. “No worries, we are here now!” You walk over to the other professors to say your greetings and chat a little bit while the students begin to fill the room. You smile looking around at the familiar faces that you have been teaching over the years all dressed up, and enjoying the night. You glance over at Severus and he has his usual stone cold glare plastered on his face. All you could do was roll your eyes and smile knowing he was arguing with himself not to leave at this moment. Once all the students have arrived Dumbledore gives his usual speech to the students about how they should enjoy they night, and with that the ball begins. You let out a sigh as you were finally done standing at the front of the room and immediately began heading over to the punch bowl. You grab yourself something to drink as you watch the students get there first dances in. You feel a presence walk up beside you, when you glance over Severus is standing beside you as his dark eyes scan the crowd. You offer him a sip of your punch and he just stares at the cup almost offended. “More for me then,” you say taking a sip. 

“So…-“ you begin to say, but are promptly cut off when Severus sees a pair of students making their way outside of the ballroom. Here we go… You try to go back to what you were saying, but Severus snakes his way around the ballroom to head over to the students already preparing a lecture in his head.

“Sev-“ you call out but realize it is no use over the music. You sigh and set your punch cup down on the table and begin to make your way around the room after him. When you reach the outside you see you are too late. Severus is already scolding them about how they weren’t allowed outside. “A week of detention in my office. You two should know better, especially you Miss Froogle.” You can see the girl lower her head in shame. He was about to continue when you step in and place a hand on his arm. “Head back inside, both of you. Just don't let me catch you out here again, and I might be able to get you out of detention.” You wink at them and give them a nod to the door. A smile forms on their lips out of gratitude, and they both scurry inside. Severus gives me a glare. “Ah, never took you to be one for betrayal.” He says with a cold tone. “Severus I did not drag you here to yell at students all night. Besides, they just want to have fun.” I give him a smile and walk closer to him. I feel his arms wrap loosely around my waist as the music from inside the ballroom plays through the muffles of the wall. Severus leans his head down near your ear, his breath warming the chill from the air. “I’m sorry, I will do better for you.” You can feel his lips gently kiss on your ear before he leans back up to meet your eyes. Out here— alone— you both stare at each other for a few seconds before Severus slowly backs away from you— you give him a confused look that he doesn’t acknowledge— and gives you a small bow. The music from inside the building can be heard as it starts to play a new song. 

“Can I have this dance?” He looks up to you awaiting your response. 

You smile down at him, and extend your hand for him to grab. “Of course.” He places a small kiss on the top of it before he raises himself up, and pulls you into him. He places his hands on your waist,  and you drape your hands on his shoulders as you both begin to sway to the music. A small giggle escapes your lips while dancing which strikes a small smirk across Severus’s face knowing he made you happy tonight after all. With that, he spins you around causing you to laugh. You can see Severus looking down at you with love in his cold dark eyes. When the music stops you both close the distance and share a kiss together. You feel Severus’s hands slowly trail down your back to rest slowly above your behind, but he doesn’t let them go any further. “When this is over,” he leans in close to your ear, “I will make you pay for bringing me out here while you get to run around wearing that.” And with that he opens the doors to the ballroom and walks back inside to continue keeping an eye on the students.

You couldn’t tell if the heat on your face was from the cold or from Severus himself, but you suddenly couldn’t wait for the ball to be over. You head back inside and wander back over to the other professors who have congregated into one of the corners. They were laughing and sharing dances with each other as they tried to enjoy the night as much as they could. You spot Severus in the corner of the room, scolding a student for seemingly causing an argument between two girls. He is always scolding someone, either me or an unsuspecting victim. But before he could notice you staring you hear Minerva call your name out.

When you turn to look, Minerva is strolling up to you with her cat-like grace. “Hello dear, having a good night?” You follow her eyes and realize she is staring at Severus. You knew she was asking if Severus was being his usual grumpy self. 

“Actually… I am.” You smile at her and keep your stare on Severus as your mind replays what he whispered to you outside. You see him push his hair back away from his face as he scans the room for you. When he catches your eyes you almost see a smile appear on his face, but it is quickly dismissed when he sees Minerva also staring at him. His usual cold look is instantly reinstalled on his features, but you could swear you saw his eyes travel down your figure. You give him a smile then return to the conversation you were having with Minerva. 

After a while the music has begun to die down and the students empty the ballroom. The professors stay behind to make sure nothing is left behind and to ensure everyone gets to their rooms safely. You see Severus standing by the door waiting for you. You walk over to him and he extends his arm for you to hold as you both exit the ballroom together.

“C’mon, tell me you enjoyed it.” You say once you are halfway down the hall. Severus looks straight ahead ignoring you. You decide to take this as a challenge. “Severus I know you had to have a little fun, besides I enjoyed dancing with yo-… Sev!” 

Severus has pulled you around the corner and pushed you into a small empty classroom. You stare at him as he closes the door and locks it behind him. “Excuse you, what exactly do you think you are doing?” You place your hands on your hips, but when Severus turns around you can see the look on his face. Oh no…

He walks up to you, “I planned on taking you back to your chambers to do this, but since you are so keen on asking questions I couldn’t wait.” He stalks towards you forcing you to back up until you feel a desk hit the back of your thighs. 

“I told you I would have to make you pay for walking around in that dress all night knowing I couldn’t even enjoy it,” he purrs into your ear as he leans above you trapping you against the desk. You can feel the blush start to spread across your face, but the dimness of the classroom hid it from your lover’s view. Even though, you were pretty sure he could tell anyways.

“Severus… you know that is not what I intended. I just wanted to bring you along for a few dances,” you whisper to him slightly confused by his desperation for repayment. 

“Darling, it is all the same in the end. You drug me along to this event knowing I would have to stare at you in that dress all night. Yes, I enjoyed the dance with you, but I need more.” He gently pulls you up to stand and replaces your spot on the desk. He sits down and pats his lap. You go to sit on his lap, but he stops you. “Who told you to sit?” He speaks up and you give him a confused look. He gives a deep chuckle before pulling you closer, “lay across my lap,” his slender finger traces your cheek.

The blush on your face deepens as you lay yourself across Severus’s lap. “Good girl…” he purrs while he gently runs his hands up and down your legs. You bite your lip keeping in any sound that might slip out to hint that you are enjoying this. 

Severus finally pulls your dress up to your waist to give him a clear shot at his target. You can feel his eye roam your lower half before, SMACK! A slight whimper slips out of your lips. “Sev-“ SMACK! You couldn’t help it a slight moan escapes your mouth. 

“Are you enjoying this, darling?” He asks you while gently rubbing the spots he a previously hit. 

“A little-“ SMACK! This one was harder than the others. 

“Did I say that you should be enjoying this? This is supposed to be my payback.” He runs his hands gently over the spot he smacked giving you time to recover before, SMACK! Severus gives you a few more spanks until he was satisfied with the shade of red that was displayed on your ass.

“Do you think you have learned your lesson?” He leans his head down towards your head as he whispers. His black hair draping to cover the sides of his face. You give him a nod and he gently pulls you off of him as he allows you to make yourself presentable again. 

You pull down your dress and run your hands down the sides to smooth out any ruffles. You clear your throat, you don't know what to say so you watch as Severus walks up to you and interlocks his fingers in yours. You two are silent on the rest of the walk back to your chamber. When you finally reach your door you open it and allow Severus to come inside. He takes a step in and closes the door behind him and locks it. With a swift motion he pushes your back up against it. He places both of his hands beside you on the wall trapping you between him and the locked door. 

All you could do was stare into the eyes of the slender figure who had you pinned. “Now…” Severus spoke in a low tone, “where were we?” but before you could get a word out he places his lips on yours. 

Severus kisses you like a starved man who finally was able to enjoy a meal. “All night, I have had to stare at you in that dress,” he draws back as he whispers in your ear. A blush has already found your face with a deep red shade. His hand creeps up your side, his long fingers grazing your ass.

 “Now—”  he begins, “—that we are alone—” his removes one of his hands from beside you to trace your jaw with his finger, “—I can enjoy what I have been craving all night.”

You feel your heart rate pick up as Severus grabs you and lifts you over his shoulder. He brings you to the small door at the little corner of the room where your bedroom lies. “Severus!” You squeal. He pushes open the door and sets you down on the bed before returning to close the door. When he turns around you can see that he slowly taking his tailcoat off. Once he throws it on the chair you have in the corner of your room, he untucks his dress shirt, pulling it out slowly from his pants. 

His actions seem slow, but for you this is happening all so quickly. He walks up to where you sat on the edge of the bed. You can see a small smirk appear on his lips as he takes his hand and grips your jaw making you look at him. “Such a pretty mouth you like to run, maybe I should put it to good use.” 

Your vision was a little clouded from all the adrenaline running through you at this moment. When you looked away from his gaze your eyes fell level with his waist, and you could see just how worked up he truly was. He quickly readjusted your head to look him in the eyes. He begins to push you back on the bed, leaning over you while propping himself up with his arms. 

You weren't used to Severus acting on his desires towards you, but god did you love it. The quiet, cold hearted, professor who has a clear distain for everyone chose you. Your mind is racing as Severus’s hands trace the outline of your body enjoying ever little dip and curve that was presented to him. 

You think of something to say, anything, but nothing comes to mind. You are under this mans spell, and he has no intention of letting you out of it. As he leans over you you can see his eyes travel down to your chest. His face hiding his true emotions as he begins to talk.

 “So pretty, it is quite a shame you made me wait all this time.” Severus is so close to you at this point that you can feel his untucked dress shirt skim your waist. Suddenly he draws back while assisting you up at the same time. He takes a seat on the bed while you stand in front of him. 

“I want to see you take it off. I want to enjoy what I have been missing all night.” 

“Severus, I-“ 

“Now.”

You don't wait any longer. He sits on the bed, his posture so elegant as he makes you strip yourself for him. 

You begin with the straps on your shoulder. They gently fall to the side with a simple push of your hands. Next, you feel for the zipper on your back. When you are unable to reach it you feel Severus reach out and spin you around. He slowly unzips your dress for you before making you resume your performance. 

You see his sharp tongue draw out to trace his lips for a split second as he appreciates the sight in front of him. 

The dress finally falls around your ankles. You are left standing in front of the man you love in nothing but your undergarments. Severus takes this opportunity to reach out and pull you towards him on the bed. He traces his hands down the back of your body, finally allowing himself to grab your ass.

You can feel your pulse in your stomach as you watch him stand up and slowly begin to unbutton his shirt. His elegant fingers move with ease sliding the buttons through their designated hole. With each button he undos a glimpse of his pale chest can be seen peaking through his shirt. 

When he reaches the last one he removes his shirt, his happy trail catching your eye. The dark hair clearly visible on Severus’s pale skin. It acts as a roadmap as you follow it down his waist until a pair of hands block your view. They twist at the button on the top of Severus’s pants until he pops it open. 

Severus looks at you, his face still as cold as ever. “When I am done with you you’ll think twice before you make me go through that again, do you hear me?” He places a hand on your side. It was so gentle, but his words seethe through your skin. 

“Yes, Sev.” You answer, but it doesn’t seem to satisfy him. He doesn’t move, awaiting a better answer to slip through your pretty lips. You take the hint, and decide to please him.

“Yes, Severus.” With that he pushes you down unto the bed and crawls onto you. His long body engulfing you as he traps you beneath him. 

Severus guides his tongue up the side of your neck slowly as his hands move down towards your underwear that has yet to be removed. You feel his fingers slide just below the hem as they teased you, slowly tracing back and forth. You notice your breath has become more labored as your excitement picks up. Severus notices this as well and decides to go a little further.

He removes his hands from your waste and begins sliding his pants off leaving him in just his black boxer shorts. He refocuses his attention back to you and begins kissing his way down your body. He finally stops when he reaches your underwear again before looking up at you for confirmation. With a handful of his black hair twisted up into your fist, you bite your lip. 

He takes that as a yes.

He quickly slides off the bed to get in a better position. He pulls you to the edge with one quick motion. You feel him bite the hem of your underwear as he slowly drags it down your legs. When it reaches your thighs he becomes impatient and pulls them off the rest of the way. 

He repositions his face between your legs. You see his eyes devour you before you even feel his tongue. The way he looks down at you with so much anticipation hidden behind those dark orbs. 

His long tongue lolls out of his mouth as he eagerly lifts your legs up on his shoulders for a better angle. With that his face disappears between your legs. You squeeze your thighs around his head as he works diligently to please you. 

“Right there Sev, yes-” His tongue begins to slide downwards until you feel him slip it inside you. You roll your eyes back as he tongue fucks you, his nose rubbing up against your clit. Everyone who has made fun of him for this nose will regret it for the rest of their lives, you think to yourself. 

Severus’s muffled moans of satisfaction were becoming more frequent—  sounding like this was the best thing he ever tasted — and he couldn’t get enough. 

Finally he pulls his head up, his face glistening with you. 

After standing back up he gives you a clear view at the tent that was pitched in his boxers. He notices your eyes and smirks at you, “come here pretty girl.” 

You sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed. Severus leans down and plants a kiss on the top of your head before he pulls his boxers off. His cock bounces free from its restraints as it sits level with your face. You look up at Severus with eager eyes.

“Do you want it?” 

You don't think you have ever wanted anything more in your life in that moment. All you could do was give him an eager nod. 

He doesn’t argue as he pushes himself into your parted lips. You see him tilt his head back as the warmth of your mouth envelopes him. His black hair falls behind his head and his fingers curl into your hair. 

Several grunts and moans were shared between the two of you before finally Severus pulls himself out of your mouth. He leans down pulling you up and tossing you onto the bed. 

“Now, you're gonna lay nice and still for me, aren’t you baby?” Severus looks down at you with a face you rarely ever see. His stoic composure is gone and replaced with a much darker look. His breath is heavy and you can see sweat starting to glisten on his skin. 

Severus— although eager— was not cruel, and allowed you time to adjust for him. When you give him the okay he allows himself to be swallowed by you. 

“Fuck. So tight for me…” Severus leans over you placing this hands beside your head as he sinks further and further into you. 

“Sev!” The sting of pleasure kept your mind busy while Severus gave you a few seconds to relax. After those seconds were up he didn’t hold back.

“I'm going to make you feel what I felt tonight.” He thrusts into you. 

“Ever second I had to endure watching you in that dress.” He picks up the pace.

 “I'm going to make you feel this for the next week, just so you know how naughty you were.” He places his hand around your throat as he continues to use you. 

“Do. You. Understand?” He leans forward, his hair swaying back and forth with each thrust.

You nod. 

“Words darling, use your words for me.” He squeezes a little harder.

“Yes.. I understand Severus.” His grip around your throat loosens. He steadies himself by placing his hands back on the mattress beside you. His pace was quick, his thrusts were hard. 

In response to his movement your pleasure was quick to catch up. Severus could tell by the way your toes started curling with his movements, you’re back arching slightly. He grabs one of your legs and quickly wraps it around himself in an attempt to go deeper. 

“That’s it darling, you're going to cum on this cock. My cock.” He thrusts deeper at his new angle he created, hitting every spot perfectly. 

You start to feel your eyes roll back into your head as the pleasure became overwhelming, until… 

“Sev! I’m-” but before you could say anything his places his lips on top of yours. You moan into his mouth while he feels you tighten around him. His pace becoming sloppier as he reaches his own climax.

“I'm going to fill you up, and you're going to take every. last. drop.” Severus kisses you once more until you feel the warmth inside you grow. He lets out a few grunts as he empties himself inside you making sure you take all of it, just as he said. 

Then everything stops, all that can be heard in the room is the sounds of breathing. Severus gently pulls away from you and lays beside you on the bed. You look over at him with love clearly evident on your face. 

“I guess I should make you go to more school activities with me.” You give him a playful smirk after your comment. 

“Do not even think about it,” all traces of what happened a few moments ago gone hidden by his cold tone once more. You smile and roll over into his arms giving him a playful peck on his cheek. 

“Always grumpy, I guess I will just have to take someone else then…” 

This catches his attention. He lets out a sigh and pulls you into him. 

“Good luck trying, [Y/N].”

[wizzdot]

The Patron Saint of One Way Trips

Ch24

Description: poor Laika’s self doubt raises its ugly head again. John is a sweetheart. Kyle is upset. Lots of angst, fluff etc xoxo

Laika's POV*

I must have fallen asleep. I wake up next to Kyle, the others had left.

Oh god.. what have I done?! I've made a huge mistake forcing myself on them like that.. worthless stupid mutt, no one would ever want a stray like you. Why did you ever get your hopes up in the first place?!

Physically, I feel so much better - almost as if the heat fever hadn't happened at all. I slowly and softly lift his arm from around me and try to crawl from the bed. I need to hide from the rejection. I won't let it find me. I know it's coming. I just know it..Kyle's only here because he was literally stuck to me, because I practically forced myself on him.

I feel sick. Disgusting mutt!

I stand from my bed and don myself in my own clothes, feeling far too revolting to even dare to pull on anything of theirs..

I sneak out from the room, taking a final glance at Kyle, a tear falling from my cheek as I scamper away from the pack's private quarters.

As I reach the familiar hallway of the mess hall, I take a sharp left and go to the infirmary. I make sure to ask for the same kind nurse who had checked me when I first arrived. I trusted her - sort of..

She pokes her head out from behind a door and furrows her brow..

"I'm not aware you had an appointment Miss..." she doesn't remember my name

"...Laika" I supply for her "..and I don't.. I need to talk to you.. and ask for help.. please" I whisper, eyes darting to make sure no one is listening in or watching.

"Oh.. okay, you better come in then, I can call the Capta-" - "NO.. I mean, no, it's okay.. he wouldn't want to waste his time on something so stupid.. honestly"

I lie through my teeth with a fake, tight lipped smile on my face. She buys it though.. thank god.

"What did you come here for then, Laika..?" she asks, casting an eye over me, clearly checking for any external injuries.

"Uhm.. well- you know how you did the blood tests.. and they came back as sort of inconclusive but swaying towards Omega.. well - I want suppressants..just incase"

She narrows her eyes at me, confused by my request.

"Laika, from what I recall, the unknown drugs that you have been exposed to while in Russia haven't left your system yet. It would be dangerous to mix suppressants in while we still aren't entirely sure what you are.."

"I don't mind.. I'm happy to risk it.."

"Where has this all come from, honey? You are stressed and nervous, I can see your eyes darting all over the room, you've not made eye contact with me once, you're being deceitful and you're clearly panicking over something.. I want to help you, I do.. but I need to know a little more about what's happened.. do you understand where I'm coming from, honey?"

She leans forward in her chair and places a gentle hand on my leg. Just above my knee. She smiles, a trust worthy smile.

"I-I need to leave and I don't want anything to happen before I'm ready to deal with it.. I just want the suppressants, then you'll never see me again.. I'll be out of your hair...please..?"

"Okay, honey.. Let me just go outside and think this through.. I need to have a quick re-read of your file just to make sure you're not allergic to anything or if anything would be incompatible to your blood type.. just give me a few minutes, sit tight.."

She stands from her chair and gives me a squeeze on my shoulder and a smile as she leaves, closing the door behind her.

Thank god - she is helping me. As soon as I get these suppressants, I'm calling Kate and requesting an immediate pick up. I don't care where to. Just away from here. I've already done enough damage here. Filthy, disgusting mutt.

*John's POV*

I had left Kyle and Laika together, sleeping it off. They looked so comfortable and settled when I left. I decided to take Simon and Johnny to the gym - we'd been lifting weights - spotting each other. Simon is quite close to improving on my personal best but he hasn't managed it yet, thankfully.

As we walk back towards our quarters, I can smell a subtle hint of her scent in the hallway. I ignore it, and put it down to the fact that we probably have carried her scent around the base, having spent the morning in her bed.

My phone starts to vibrate in my pocket. I glance at it and see that it is Dr Lewis. What does she want? I thought my check was next week..?

I slide the green tab to answer "Captain Price speaking.." I greet.

"Captain, it's Dr Lewis.. I need to keep this quick because she isn't in a stable mood. I've got Laika here - she is in a bit of a state, rambling about needing suppressants and said something about never seeing her again.. I think she is planning to run away.. I'm not sure what's happened, but she needs someone to talk to. She is very fragile at the moment, Captain.. I sincerely hope nothing bad has happened to her under your watch.."-

"I'm on my way" I growl out, hanging up the phone. "JOHNNY, SIMON FOLLOW ME"

I storm my way to the medics, barging angrily past rookies. When we arrive, I order Johnny and Simon to wait at the entrance.

The Doctor is standing in the middle of the waiting room, no Laika to be seen.. "Where is she?" I grumble.

I can feel my palms splitting - my nails digging harshly into my skin. "Captain, she is in my office - I suggest you calm down.. she isn't going to take this well - I didn't tell her I was calling you.."

"You've done the right thing - I need to see her, where is she?" I ask again, quickly, trying to hurry things along.

"Follow me.."

I walk directly behind the slightly older Doctor, Fuck I wish she'd hurry the fuck up..

*Laika's POV*

I hear the door handle rattle slightly and then the Doctor steps into the room. What I don't expect is an angry looking John following closely on her heels..

"What on earth do you think you're playing at, Love..? Suppressants and threatening to leave..? Why...?" he barks at me.

I stare at the Doctor, my lip quivering and my eyes wide and red, from unshed tears. This isn't the first time I'd been betrayed..

She gives me an apologetic smile, mouthing 'sorry', before turning and leaving the room. Coward..

"...Laika?" John steps closer when the door closes.

"Speak to me, c'mon, Love" - "Stop calling me that" I whisper.

"I didn't hear that, speak up, Love.. I want to hel-"

"I SAID, STOP CALLING ME THAT.. IT'S NOT TRUE.." I shout.

John visibly recoils at my tone, tilting his head to one side and furrowing his brow. The tears start flowing freely now, I stubbornly turn away, refusing to face the Alpha.

"Look at me.."

"Laika..? C'mon, whatever this is about.. we need to talk about it..."

"Th-there's nothin' to talk about, Captain.. I need to leave"

"Nonsense.." - "S'not, I don't belong here.." my hands shake as I throw my arms in the air, exasperated. Defeated.

I hear him step closer again, then I hear his knee hit the floor in front of me. Alpha's don't kneel.

"Look at me.."

"Please, sweet girl.." - "don't call me that, either.."

"Jus- Just look at me.. please"

He kneels in front of me for at least two minutes, while I stubbornly refuse to face him from my seat. He doesn't move, doesn't sigh, doesn't so much as move a muscle. He waits for me..

I sit, sniffling snot and tears into the sleeve of my own jumper. He just kneels there. Unmoving.

"You can go.. I don't need babysat.. You've got better things to do.." I eventually argue, still not looking at him.

He doesn't reply, still kneeling and silent. What is he trying to achieve..?!

"Captain.. I said, GO!"

Silence, just the sound of his breathing..

I break. I look at him, he is already staring back at me. Why are his eyes slightly red..?

He still doesn't say anything.

"What do you want..?!?" I choke out, tears still pouring from my eyes.

"Get up.. stop kneeling.. speak.. SAY SOMETHING" God, I'm desperate.. I don't know why I'm reacting like this..

He gently reaches out, slow enough that if I truly wanted to, I could have moved, hell - I could have slapped his hand away..

He entangles his fingers in mine and squeezes, softly, just once. He guides my hand towards his lips. He kisses every single knuckle, I look away, not deserving of his tender touch.

As soon as I look away, he releases my hand. I furrow my brow. He still hasn't said anything..

He stands and walks towards the door. My eyes widen, anxiety heightening.

"John..." I say in a small voice, as his hand reaches the door handle.

He pauses, but doesn't turn to face me.

"I'm sorry.." I whisper. He still doesn't turn, but he also doesn't turn the handle.

"I - I don't know how to.. how to do any of this.." I finally admit. His shoulders relax, dropping slightly, yet he still doesn't speak..

"I'm broken, John.. you.. your pack.. it's better without me..."

He lowers his head, I can see that he is shaking it. His hand pulls away from the door handle, dropping back to his side. He takes a half-step back into the room, still facing away from me.

*John's POV*

I couldn't speak. I couldn't find the right words. One wrong move and she'll leave. She thinks so lowly of herself. She doesn't think she is worthy of anything but pain and sadness.

I can't let her go.

I clear my throat and turn to face her, almost unable to continue when I see that broken look on her face, staring right back up at me.

*Laika's POV*

He clears his throat and turns around. This is it, he is saying goodbye.. brace yourself, don't let him see you cry..

"My pack would tear heaven and earth apart to find you if you left us now.."

What?!

"My pack.. they want you.. emotional baggage and all.. we've all got some.."

I gulp

"and my pack - it could be your pack too - if you can stop punishing yourself for things you had no power over."

"We both know it isn't your fault. And I'll kill the bastards. You just say the word. I'm at your command.."

"Love" he tacks on to the end.

I have nothing to say.. I'm stunned.

"What if I mess it up..?" I whisper

"You won't.."

"But what if I do..?"

"We'd figure it out.."

"Why me..?"

"You may not see it, Love.. but you're perfect for us.. if you'd let us prove it to you. I'll tell the boys.. we will take things slow.. court you properly.. let us at least try..?"

"John..?"

"Yes, sweet girl.." he replies instantly, kneeling back to the ground, taking both of my hands in his..

"I'm scared.. I'm scared I'll mess up.."

He cups my chin softly.

"Beautiful girl, there is nothing you could do.. nothing.. that would change my mind on this.."

My eyes trail from his eyes, to his facial hair, to the freckles on his nose and then down to his lips.

"John..?"

"Yes, Love..?"

"I-I'll try.. I want to try.." I sniff.

He breaks into a soft smile, his dimples showing. He wipes the tear lines from my cheeks with his thumb.

I stand on the balls of my feet to kiss him on the cheek. I wobble slightly and end up kissing the very corner of his lips. He purrs, but doesn't push for more.

"C'mon, I want to take you back.. never liked Doctor's offices anyway.." he grumbles lowly.

He reaches and grabs my hand, squeezing it softly once, giving it a quick kiss on my knuckles again.

He turns the door handle and leads me through the waiting area.

He nods a quick 'thanks' to the Doctor.

As soon as he steps foot into the main hallway, I'm greeted by a pacing Johnny and Simon, who looks.. anxious.

He immediately steps forward and holds my face firmly in his large hands, crouching down so that we are eye to eye.

"Are you hurt? What happened? Who do I need to fuckin' kill?"

"Calm down, Simon".. John reaches over my shoulder to squeeze Simon's arm.

"We're all okay now.. That's all that matters.."

Johnny squirms his way behind me and lifts me into his arms, carrying me like a groom would carry a bride.

"Johnny!" I yelp.

"No princess of mine walks when she is hurt! Whit happened, lass. Si will sort the fucker out.."

"N-nothing happened!" I giggle.

I notice, from the corner, how John and Simon both relax at the sound of my laughter.

"Wh-where's Kyle..?" I ask, guiltily.. that same feeling of dread washing over me.. what if he hadn't wanted it.. what if he regrets it..?

As soon as the words have left my mouth, a frantic figure skids around the corner, wearing just loose sweatpants slung lowly over his hips.

"JESUS FUCK, LOVE!!" He pants, actually clutching his chest, where his heart beats rapidly.

He rushes towards me and pulls me from Johnny's hold and into his own, tight and suffocating arms. It was oddly grounding. Until I felt his hands shaking, and his panicked breathing...

"When I woke up.. and you weren't there.. I looked everywhere. FUCK!" he weeps into my neck, rubbing my lower back gently, more for his own benefit than mine, I assume..

"Thought you'd gone.." He glances up then, and notices that we are outside the infirmary. He freezes and drops his arms immediately.

"Shit.. fuck.. tell me I didn't hurt you..? Please tell me I didn't..." He looks completely lost in his own panic.

I step towards him, with tears in my own eyes..

"Kyle.. Kyle.. Alpha..?" He backs away from me.

I scurry forward and cling to him, trying to hug the anxiety from him.

"Alpha.. you didn't hurt me.. I promise.."

"You sure..?"

"I'm sure, Kyle.. not at all.." I reach up and kiss his cheek. He looks me up and down, making sure that I am telling the truth.

"Why'd you run off..? You weren't there when I woke up..." I gulp

"I- I was running away from rejection.. didn't want you to regret it.. so I - I ran.."

"Why would you think..-" he starts with a furrowed brow, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Oh, you silly girl.. come here.. I'd never regret even one second spent with you.." he whispers into my hair as he hugs me tightly.

He pulls away from the hug and looks around at his pack..

"Dinner..?" John suggests.

The Alphas all nod, and I feel a gloved hand take mine and drag me back towards their private quarter. I turn my head back to the others and stumble after the hand that is pulling me. It's Simon.

"Gave us all a hell of a fright there , little bird" he grunts..

"Sorry.."

"I don't want your apologies, love. Just need you to stay, yeah..?"

"Yeah, Simon. I'll try staying this time. no more running away.." I whisper

"No more running away.." he repeats, softly.

I feel the softest squeeze on my hand.

I squeeze back.

A silent promise to each other.

We are both ... damaged.

But Christ, we'd try...

[lunarfleur]

Like He Deserves ~ Earth 42! Miles Morales

Tagging: @juneberrie @sluggmuffin @hiyaitssans @enchanting-violet @nagi3seastorm @milesmolasses @luvjunie @n1cole-ghost @urfavnegronerd @hearts4hobie @mayeluvsu

Warnings:Lowkey depressive episode but nothing bad, just Miles being in a slump.

A/N: Me and @kombuuuu were talking about this, so this is my biggest contribution to the fandom.

This is x gender neutral reader!

The first thing Rio Morales noticed when she walked in the door was that your shoes were still there. They weren’t her son’s. She knew that.

She peeked into Miles’s bedroom. The lights were off, except for the candle lit on Miles’s desk. It made the room smell like vanilla. Miles loved vanilla candles. She leaned against the door frame when she heard small mumbles coming from his bed.

You laid on one side of the bed, wearing one of Miles’s t-shirts. He laid next to you while you ran your fingers over his face, pressing kisses over the skin.

“Dad woulda loved you,” Miles mumbled. You hummed in response. His voice was low and slurred, filled with exhaustion.

“Yeah?”

“I miss him, ya know?”

“I know.”

You kisses over his cheek and jaw, reaching your hand up to scratch his head.

“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep? I don’t want to be alone.”

You kissed his lips softly, humming.

“Of course.”

You exited his room 15 minutes later, closing the door behind you softly before walking into the living room. Rio looked up at you. You stopped dead in your tracks.

“Um, I was just leaving.” You forced the words out quickly.

It was 2 hours past the time you were supposed to leave. You had already texted your own guardian about being home late. Miles, however, had not texted his mother. He hadn’t thought.

“Sit with me.”

“What?”

“Come on, siéntate conmigo.” Rio patted the spot next to her on the couch. You hesitantly placed your bag on the floor and sat next to her. She sipped on some tea, leaving you waiting anxiously.

You knew Rio wasn’t fond of you. You just didn’t know why. You were always polite, offering to help around the house, never calling her by her first name. Yet, she was always giving you that same disproving look.

“She’ll warm up to you,” Miles always said. You doubted it.

“So-”

“Miles loves you.” She cut you off firmly, looking you in the eyes.

“I know.” She paused for a moment, only for a moment, before sighing.

“That boy has always been a giver. He gives and he gives. It’s around this time of year he seems to run dry.”

You nodded. Of course you knew. It was around the anniversary of his dad’s death. He missed his dad more than anything. It always had an affect on him.

“I can’t tell you how you feel about him,” she continued, “but if you’re just going to end up hurting him, then I don’t want you to come back. His entire life Miles has given. It’s time he gets something back. It’s what he deserves.”

You thought on it. Miles was always giving. Always offering. He offered to do your homework, to make your food. Never once had he made you feel anything less than loved.

“Believe me, mam. I’d set myself on fire before I ever hurt him.”

Rio went quiet for a minute, thinking about your words. You couldn’t help but wonder what was going through her head.

“My son has a good heart.”

“I know.”

“You need to be careful with it.”

“I’d be a moron to be anything less.”

Rio nodded at you.

“You need to love him like he deserves.”

“I do.”

For the first time since you had met her, she smiled at you. At you. And it wasn’t forced, it was genuine. It was warm. It reminded you of all the times Miles had smiled at you.

“Do you?”

“I do.”

Rio nodded again, exhaling in satisfaction. That was it, apparently. That’s all she wanted.

You stood up, picking up your bag and walked to the door. You had already kissed Miles goodnight. Rio followed behind you. You opened the door.

“Thank you.”

You turned around, humming in confusion.

“Thank you,” she repeated, “for what you do for him.”

You smiled.

“Always.

It’s what he deserved.

[moongumi]

⁀➷ ∵  ❝country boy and his clown❞

⟶ phillip graves x oc/reader

⟶ cw. graves babygirl confused, funny banter, shadow boys, aloof OC, lots of jokes, third person <3

⟶ note. this is basically my little drabbles collection that will accumulate into a long story at some point about my OC Leech xd she's also the ones in all the other MW2 fics i've written

everyone likes that new girl. all the boys were drawn to her and graves can't believe the god damn sight of it all.

on the first mission the damn girl had her little portable gaming device, graves didn't catch what it was called. she whistled as she played whatever game on it. graves felt a fuckin' tick itching on his face from the clicking and tapping.

"shut that god damn thing off, fucking hell."

the girl sighs, putting it into her cargo pocket. "Sorry, Commander." she listens well, at the very least.

graves walks over to her and within an instant she stands up and salutes him. "What they call ya'?"

she's a new transfer, a sort of trade off with a friend. graves needed someone like her but her age was somewhat of an issue, not that young but maybe not old enough to know the ropes of an elite company.

"leech."

the fuck? grave left a migraine forming in his head now. "what?""

"leech, sir."

"got a backstory for that one?"

she laughs, "of course, i would never pick it myself. bit some guy's carotid off during my first deployment—i swear i didn't drink his blood though—"

"i didn't think that," graves sighs, pressing his fingers between his brows. "continue on then, sergeant."

"yup yup."

she catches on quick.

──────⊹⊱♝♜⊰⊹──────

"get this thing open!"

she sighs, tapping away at her little computer in her crouched form. "look boss, you've given me 2 seconds how about you give me 10 more seconds and maybe—oh, look it's open, you're welcome."

graves can see this girl making him lose his will to live. but he was no patient man and well, she was far too chill and nonchalant for this type of work.

when they get inside she's on the computer right away, jamming combinations of numbers and symbols to get what he wanted from this place.

"yikes, lots of porn on here."

graves almost snaps his neck turning to her. "what?"

"joking, got what we need." she pulls out the drive from the computer and pocketing it. she pulls her gun from her side back into her hands. "time to find out way out, commander."

──────⊹⊱♝♜⊰⊹──────

"i don't think i've met anyone more annoying." graves admits.

shadow 1-1 laughs, "boss, she's pretty cool and she's cute."

"she's funny, she said her callsign was because she ate a live lizard on the field—" shadow 1-2 mentions.

hes interrupted by 1-1, "wait what? she told me it's because she was sucking on her military ex-boyfriend's dick one time in the barracks and she accidentally cut off his foreskin."

"that's a fuckin' lie, if i've ever heard one."

1-1 takes offense, "yours sounds more fake than mine."

somehow this makes graves grab his head, what the hell has this girl been doing to my men. now it makes him doubt if the story she told him was even real.

she ponders, pursing her lips, "sir, i told you the real story—it's just fun telling all the boys different shit, they all go around tellin' each other the wrong thing and it's funny when they all get confused."

the girl looks around aimlessly, seemingly waiting for him to say something. "alright, you're dismissed. see you tomorrow, leech."

graves sighs in his office, the girl in front of him now dressed in a more business attire even if her skirt was far too short and the buttons her shirt were on wrong—the sheerness of that top too, jesus christ could she not afford a shirt didn't look like a piece of tissue? he could see her bra straps through the damn thing.

"are ya' lying?"

"maybe."

[alwaysonthemend]

Author’s Note: I have nothing to say for myself. The Jummy has been making me feral for the last few days and I had to cleanse myself somehow… so I figured writing smut was the best method for that. (It makes sense to me, don’t worry about it) It starts out a little angsty with Jake being insecure, but don’t worry bc it heats up VERY quickly. As always, sorry for any typos. Also this is probably my most favorite thing that I've ever written so I hope you guys enjoy.

Content Warnings: Fem!reader, body insecurity, body worship, a little bit of cockwarming if you squint, unprotected sex, p in v sex, 18+ MINORS DNI 

Word Count: 3593

Preview: 

“You’re fucking solid, Jake. Powerful. You fuck me so hard. You think someone built like him could fuck me the way you do?” You shake your head. “Wouldn’t even come close. No one can fuck me the way I need it besides you.” 

------------------------

Admittedly, it had taken you a little while to realize that something was off with Jake – far longer than it should have, given how long the two of you have been together. But, in your defense, Jake Kiszka is a master at hiding when something is wrong. 

The first warning sign had been a few weeks ago when Jake had declined going out to his favorite steak restaurant, claiming that he was too tired and that he’d had a late lunch anyway so he wasn’t super hungry. You’d been doubtful, but the two of you stayed in for the night and Jake had distracted you beyond the point of awareness of anything other than his tongue and fingers. He'd fucked you slow and deep that night and needless to say, you’d quickly forgotten about it.

The second came during a dinner with him and his brothers. You, Jake, Sam, Josh, and Josh’s partner had gone out to a local Thai place that all of you loved. You all frequented it regularly and got the exact same dishes every time – which is why you had been confused when Jake ordered something else. You’d looked at him in shock, as did everyone else at the table, but he’d simply shrugged and said that he wanted to try something new. When the food had arrived, you couldn’t help but notice that the dish was much smaller than the one he usually got, but he seemed to enjoy it so you didn’t say anything. Again, you’d allowed yourself to forget about it. 

The third warning (and arguably the most obvious one) happened just two weeks later on an impromptu lake house trip that you all went on. Deciding to enjoy the last bit of time that they had until tours started again, Danny had suggested that you all spend the weekend swimming and hiking at the lake, just like you all used to do when you were younger. It had been a wonderful weekend, and you almost didn’t notice that anything was wrong… almost. 

The first day there had been spent hiking and goofing around inside, but your second day was always reserved for swimming. That morning, as you were changing into your swimsuit, you watched as Jake pulled on his swim trunks; nothing out of the ordinary. But what was strange was that he then put on a swim shirt, hiding his gorgeous torso from view. 

“Why are you putting that on?” You asked, grabbing your towel from where you’d hung it on the bedroom door. 

“I don’t want to get sunburned.” He said, perching his signature sunglasses on his nose. 

You opened your mouth to tell him that he’s never cared about getting burned before (much to your annoyance and worry) but he swiftly left the room. You trailed behind him, staring at his shoulders through the swim shirt and worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. You couldn’t tell if he was actually being weird or if you were just overthinking. 

The rest of the trip had gone completely normal, with the boys acting like literal children in the water while you relaxed and sunbathed – occasionally joining them in the lake to participate in their craziness. But no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself you were overthinking, you couldn’t help but worry as you watched Jake in that stupid swim shirt. 

The entire drive home you’d wanted so desperately to bring it up to him, but you weren’t even sure what you were bringing up. Distantly, all those other little warning signs tinkled like little bells in the back of your mind, but you didn’t pay them any mind. Jake was acting completely normal. So what he was too tired to go to dinner one night? And why was it such a big deal that he wanted to try a different dish at a Thai restaurant? And maybe he really did just want to avoid getting sunburnt. And sure, you and him hadn't been intimate since that night he declined going out... but a few weeks wasn't really all that long in the grand scheme of things. Besides, even though it was between tours, Jake was still almost constantly busy with something – photoshoots, interviews, spending time in the studio. He was tired from work (and so were you). Nothing to be worried about. You shook your head at yourself, willing the little ball of anxiety in your gut to go away. 

And it did. Until just two nights later, when Jake asked you to turn the light off before he fucked you. 

“What? Why?” He was looking down at you, palms planted on either side of you and his weight settled on the bed between your thighs. He had on nothing but a plain t-shirt and his boxers. 

“No reason.” He said, reaching over to turn the bedside lamp off, plunging the room into darkness. He sunk his weight back on his heels to pull his shirt over his head before diving back down to attach his mouth to your breasts, suckling and biting at the sensitive buds. His distraction almost worked. 

“Jake, no.” You said, sitting up to stare at him. “Why do you suddenly want to turn the light off while we fuck?” 

“More romantic?” His words came out as a question, but he didn’t give you time to respond as he leant back down, intent on carrying on without explanation. 

“More romantic for me to not be able to see you?” He didn’t answer, instead beginning to place hot kisses down your throat, teasing the spot that he knew you loved. But you weren’t backing down. Not this time. 

“Jake, stop. Just stop.” 

He sat back up and you stared at him, trying to read his face in the dark. 

“You and I both know you’ve been acting weird. I’m not doing anything with you tonight until you tell me what the fuck has been going on with you.” You told him, your tone leaving no space for debate. 

“How have I been weird?” He asked, his voice far too cool and smooth for it to be genuine. 

“For one, you didn’t want to go to the steakhouse the other night. You know, the one you never say no to?”

“Y/n, I was tired. And full from lunch. How is that weird?” 

“You got something different when we went and got Thai with the guys!” You said, voice raising in volume as he kept staring at you like you were crazy. 

“Okay…” He said slowly, like he was speaking to a child. “And is that a crime? Am I not allowed to order something different?” 

“No. But you love that Thai dish that you always get!” Your hands flew about madly as you spoke, all the worry that you had pushed down finally coming to the surface. “And the swim shirt, Jake. You’ve never cared about getting burnt. Like ever. Why did you start caring now? And now you want to turn the light off while we fuck!” You were yelling now but you didn’t care. You were tired of ignoring that something was wrong. You didn’t know what it was – the dots not connecting between all these events yet. But you knew in your heart that something was wrong. 

“Please, Jake. We haven't slept together in weeks... which isn't like us at all! Just tell me what’s wrong so I don’t have to start making assumptions!” You had the inkling of one already, and you were praying that it was wrong. 

He stayed silent for a long moment, and the tension in the room was so thick you could probably cut it with a knife. Finally, his shoulders fell and he dropped his head. His hair fell on either side of his cheeks, framing his pretty face. 

“I’ve just… put on a few extra pounds recently. That’s all. It’s no big deal.” 

You stared, mouth falling open as the horrible assumption that had been plaguing your mind since the lake was confirmed. 

“So?” You asked, genuinely at a loss over him making this such a big deal. 

“So, I need to lose them. And maybe a few more.” You hated how sure he sounded as he said the words, like he’d already given this so much thought –and he clearly has. “I should've done it years ago to be honest."

“Jake, I-” You stopped, overwhelmed and at a loss for what to say. You wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him; scream in his face how wrong he was for feeling so low about his body. 

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s the truth. I’ve let it get too far and I have to slim down before tour starts.”

“Why?” The question is all your brain can come up with. You want to slap yourself for that being what your brain decided to spew at him first. He sighed deeply and hung his head. 

“Because, y/n. The outfits they make for me are always open chested – and people have already made comments about my weight in the past. So I want to slim down before we start again.” 

“Jake, those people have no right to make comments about your appearance. You’ve said that yourself in the past. Why do you suddenly care now?”

“Because they’re right about this. I don’t understand why you don’t get it!” 

For a split second, his raised voice hurts you, slicing through you as he snaps at you. But you know that it’s coming from his own hurt – the hurt that he’s been keeping to himself. 

“Jake,” you say quietly, “I’m confused because I think you’re the sexiest person on the planet. I love the way you look. I don’t care if you feel like you’ve put on some weight. You’re still just as sexy as you were before.” You pause, sliding up in bed so you can see him more clearly in the dark. “If I’m being totally honest, I think you’re even hotter now.” 

His eyes widen at your confession and even in the dark you can see the blush that overtakes his face. 

“You do?”

“Fuck yeah, I do. C’mere.” You beckon him to come and lay against the headboard. He complies, crawling his way up next to you and laying back. You toss one leg over his waist and settle on top of him, straddling him as you place your palms on his chest. 

“Do you know what I mean when I say ‘I love you?’” You ask him quietly. 

He nods his head. 

“I don’t think you do.” You lean your head down to press your lips softly to his for a moment before pulling away. “It means that I love all of you. Ever fucking thing about you – on the inside and on the outside.”

“But it’s embarrassing.” He whispers, eyes pinned on yours. “I don’t like being the heavier twin.” 

The phrase sounds foreign on his tongue and you realize that it's because he's quoting something – no doubt a shitty comment from some asshole who claims to be a fan. You have half a mind to slap the shit out of him. His words fill you with so much anger you feel like you’re going to explode. 

“Jacob, do not EVER compare yourself to Josh. Ever.”

“But-” 

“But nothing.” You cut him off, pressing your pointer finger to his soft lips to silence him before cupping his cheek with your palm. 

“If I wanted to be with Josh or someone built like Josh, I would be. But I don’t. I want you, Jake. As you are." You shake your head at him. "You're not fat, Jake. Like at all. You literally have nothing to be embarrassed about.” 

He’s looking at you with shiny eyes and you wish your words would be enough to convince him. But he’s nothing if not hardheaded, so you know it’s going to take more than a few flowery words to get him to see the truth. 

“I’m going to turn the light back on.” You say gently. “And I’m going to show you how much I love you. Okay?” 

“Okay.” He whispers, and you can practically see it as his whole body tenses beneath you. 

You reach up and turn the lamp back on, washing the room in golden light. Jake is still looking at you, his eyes wide and nervous. You give him a little smile as you settle back down on him. Forgoing anymore words, you press a feverish kiss to his neck, licking and sucking down the hollow of his throat. His breath stutters in his chest as you slide your ass downwards. His cock is soft after your conversation but you know you can get him back to where he was at the start of the night.

“I love your body, Jake. These pretty nipples.” You swirl your tongue around them, drawing a breathy moan from him. 

You reach out your arms and find his hands, laying limply at his side. You lace your fingers with his and bring his left hand to your lips, kissing his calloused fingers. “I love your hands. I love how they look when you play guitar – fast and merciless and so fucking talented. And yet they’re still so gentle when they touch me.” You slide his index finger between your lips, swirling your tongue around the digit before releasing it. “And I love the way you make me cum on your fingers. You’re better at that than anyone I’ve ever been with before.”

“Really? Better than anyone?” He asks, the whispers of his usual cocky self shining through.

“Really.” You assure him, dropping his hands to focus your attention elsewhere. “Can I tell you a secret?” You ask him, looking up at his flushed face through your lashes. 

“Yeah. Tell me.” 

“Your stomach is probably my favorite part about you.” You say, delicately trailing your fingers down his sternum and over the curve of his belly. 

He scoffs. 

“You’re just saying that.” 

You shake your head. 

“I’m not. It’s the truth, Jake. I fucking love it. I love watching the sweat drip down it while you play on stage. It makes me so fucking wet, imagining licking it off you.” You bring your mouth downwards, biting at his soft sides as your hands knead into the flesh. You suck his skin between your teeth, creating a purple mark just to the left of his belly button. “Everything about you makes me wet, but your belly does it the most.” 

As if in answer, your pussy throbs at the sight of the hickey you left there. You can see on his face that he still isn’t convinced so you slide off your panties and kick them to the side – leaving you in nothing but your tank top. You rise slightly off the bed and swipe a finger through your folds, collecting the wetness that’s pooled there. 

“See?” You say, allowing him to see your juices drip from your fingers. Wordlessly, he grabs your wrist and pulls your hand to his mouth. He wraps his lips around your finger, swirling his tongue to lap up your wetness. He moans at the taste of you and you pull your hand free. 

“Believe me yet?” You ask him with a sly smile. 

“Getting there.” He gives you a cheeky grin and you can’t help the butterflies that erupt in your stomach at the sight. 

You give his belly one last lick before moving downwards, avoiding where his half-hard cock lies in his boxers. 

“And I fucking love your thighs.” You tell him, sliding your palms up and down them as you speak. “So thick and strong. Makes me so fucking horny.” 

You trail kisses up the sensitive skin of his inner thigh, and the muscles twitch as you get closer to where he wants you. 

“You’re fucking solid, Jake. Powerful. You fuck me so hard. You think someone built like Josh could fuck me the way you do?” You shake your head. “They couldn’t even come close. No one can fuck me the way I need it besides you.” 

“Y/n… fuck.” His pupils are blown wide and his breathing is heavy. Even his chest is flush with his arousal. His cock is rock hard in his boxers now, tenting the fabric – straining them so much it looks like they might burst at the seams.

“And this,” you say, finally pressing your palm to his dick. “I don’t even have the words.” He groans at the pressure and his hips shift upwards off the bed in search for more. You give it to him, sliding his underwear down and off him. His cock springs free, slapping his stomach. You spit into your hand and wrap it around him, stroking him slowly. “You have such a pretty cock, Jake. It makes me feel so fucking good. Reaches places inside me no one else can.”

He groans loudly as you pump him, and you watch in awe as his eyes screw shut in pleasure. Your mouth waters and your cunt throbs at the sight and sound of him. Deciding that neither of you should have to wait for it tonight, you rip your tank top off quickly before sinking down on him, taking in his thick cock inch by inch. You moan and whimper as he stretches you, the familiar burn feeling so good. 

“Oh fuck!” Jake groans, opening his eyes to look at you taking his cock. “You’re so fucking beautiful, y/n. Look at you.” 

You still as you sink all the way down on him. He’s watching you with dark eyes and sweat is beginning to bead on his temples. 

“Jake…” you whine, beginning to rock your hips into his. 

“Shit, you’re so fuckin’ tight.” He growls, gripping your hips with his strong hands, kneading his fingers roughly into your flesh. 

You rise off him almost completely, before plunging back down on him – causing the both of you to moan loudly. You set a brutal pace, slamming down on him as he thrusts his hips up to meet yours. You drop your gaze downward to stare as each thrust causes movement in his soft belly, and you wail in pleasure and shock as you cum so hard you see stars. It tears through you so quickly you aren’t expecting it at all, and your movements still as waves of pleasure wash over you. When you finally come back to the world of the living, you want to be embarrassed for falling apart like that – but you can’t with the way Jake is looking at you. 

His jaw is open and his eyes are so dilated they look black. He looks like he wants to eat you alive. You both sit there, neither of you moving, as he looks at you like you’re the most amazing thing he’s ever seen. 

“Fuckin' hell.” He says, voice husky and broken.

 “Haven’t cum that easy since I was a fucking teenager.” You say, still a little embarrassed, despite his reaction.

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” Jake confesses, flipping you over quickly so that he’s on top. 

You know he saw where you were looking when you came – he’d been staring at your face the whole time. As embarrassing as that blatant display of lust had been, you can’t help but be thankful that he saw. There’s no way he can doubt your earlier words after seeing that. 

“Fuck me, Jake. Fuck me hard.” You plead, hooking your legs around his waist and pulling him in closer to you. “Fuck me the way only you can.” The last part comes out as a whisper and his cock twitches as you say them. He plants his forearms on either side of you, caging you in with his body. 

“I’ll fuck you every day until the day I die.” He says, before plunging into you again. 

There’s no delay now as he snaps his hips into yours – the force of each thrust causing your whole body to move upwards. His powerful thighs drive into you with fucking monster truck force and the sound of his skin hitting yours is loud and obscene. You rake your nails down his back, undoubtedly drawing blood as he hits that special spot inside of you that only he can. 

“Oh fuck, right fucking there. Jesus Christ!” You scream, digging your fingers into his sides and squeezing. 

“You’re so fucking tight, y/n. I’m gonna fucking cum.” Sweat drips down his neck and chest and you take the opportunity to lean upwards and lick it off him, moaning at the salty taste of him. 

“Dirty fucking girl. Jesus.” 

His thrusts are growing sloppy and erratic and you can feel his cock twitching inside you. You clench around him and the sound that falls from between his lips is practically a whine. 

“Do it, Jakey. Give it to me.” 

And that’s all it takes for him to spill inside you. 

“Fuck!” He growls, sinking his teeth into the skin of your shoulder as he cums. The sting brings you over the edge too, and you clench around him as you cum – milking him for all he’s got. 

When the two of you finally resurface, Jake pulls out of you and collapses on the bed next to you. You turn on your side to see his hilariously fucked out expression. You giggle. 

“What?” He asks, turning his head to face you, a sweet smile on his lips. 

“Do you know what I mean now when I say I love you?”

His smile widens – his beautiful white teeth on display as he scoots closer to you. 

“Yeah, I think so.” 

He kisses you – deliberate and passionate. 

"Jake," you say as he pulls away, "if you want to lose weight for you, then I don't care. But if you're only doing it because you feel like you have to..." You trail off, heart heavy at the thought that he had been feeling so down on himself without you realizing.

He smiles at you – the widest and most genuine one he's given you all night, and he slots his lips against yours in another kiss.

“Thank you.” He says as he pulls away from you. "But I think you've convinced me that I'm good with how I am right now." Seriousness overtakes his soft expression as he looks at you. "Thank you."

“It was literally my pleasure. I love getting to worship you.” You lean your head on his shoulder and he pulls the covers up over the two of you and turns off the lamp. “All of you.”

He chuckles, and the sound rumbles in his chest where you’re pressed against him. 

“I love you too, y/n. All of you.”

---------

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