#and looked at my past self with shame and disgust | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

a-chip-in-inosukes-nichirin · 6 months ago

Text

Ameliorate

Fandom: Kimetsu no Yaiba/Demon Slayer

Rating: Explicit- Minors DNI (18+ only)

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Sanemi/Female Reader

Tags: Female Reader, Penis in Vagina Sex, Bad Dates, Brief Mentions of SA, Oral Sex, Protective Genya, Protective Sanemi, Fucking you better, Slight Self-Esteem Issues, Mating Press, Sexual Tension, Sanemi is a lovable asshole

Wordcount: 5k

Ameliorate: To make something unsatisfactory better

After a bad date you spill the beans that you think Genya's brother is hot and he decides to fuck the memory of your shitty date out of you.

Cross-posted from my AO3 account.

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8627 45th Street SOS pls pick me up ASAP

The hastily sent text was minimal, blunt, and out of character for you. Usually, your messages were sprinkled with extraneous words, emojis, and “please” and “thank you”. You had no time for flowery language today; you needed a quick extraction.

You were hidden in the bathroom, date passed out on the bed after possibly the worst sex you’d ever experienced- for how long, you weren’t sure. Hopefully just enough for you to get out of here.

You weren’t known for making the best decisions and tended to go along with things longer than you wanted to in the name of politeness. It had landed you in many shitty situations, but this was by far the worst one. You rinsed your mouth with water in an attempt to wash the taste of the man who’d been far too rough with you from your palate, holding back the need to gag. You’d done enough of that today, and it was barely noon; a striking contrast to how you felt.

Your phone vibrated, Genya’s number lighting up the screen. You answered it with shaky fingers, keeping your voice low as you spoke.

“Hey.”

You hated how raspy it sounded. That’s what happens when an asshole doesn’t listen when you tell him to be gentle.

“You okay?” Genya’s concerned voice came through the speaker. “We’re almost there; what’s up?”

You appreciated Genya’s swift response but stiffened at his words.

“We?”

“I’m out with Nemi,” Genya told you.

Sanemi.

Genya’s big brother, and the last person you wanted to see you in this state. You couldn’t afford to be picky, though, when you were stranded at a stranger’s house after a variety of bad decisions.

“Just text me when you’re outside. Don’t honk or anything.”

“Are you safe?”

“Yeah…”

Just having a shitty day.

“We’re just around the corner,” Genya informed you.

“Okay. Be out in a sec.”

You hung up the phone and wished between your legs didn’t ache so badly, wished you weren’t half-limping from everything. There were likely bruises on your wrists and thighs, probably on your ass too if you were being honest. Under different circumstances you would’ve been proud of them, but today you only felt disgust.

You’d been so stupid.

Shuffling out of the bathroom on your tiptoes, you crept past the bedroom door that was left ajar, catching a glance at the man who’d cajoled until you caved, then didn’t listen when you said you weren’t fucking ready yet.

So stupid.

You berated yourself as you softly closed the door behind you for your walk of shame to the vaguely familiar SUV parked on the street. Genya twisted to look at you from the passenger seat as you slid in, avoiding his eyes. You knew you looked like a mess: mascara had streaked, and eyeliner was smudged, hair mussed beyond its normal windswept tousle, and it was a miracle that the majority of the damage inflicted on you was covered by your turtleneck.

“No car?”

“In the shop for repairs,” you kept your eyes glued out of the window, knowing Genya was worried but ashamed to meet his gaze. “I appreciate the ride. Didn’t mean to encroach on bro-time.”

“Not a problem,” Sanemi’s voice cut through the air as he pulled away. You shivered at his words, wetting your lips nervously. “You weren’t too far out of the way.”

“You okay?” Genya asked.

You wrinkled your nose, fighting the shame that filled your throat.

“Bad date.”

The following silence was uncomfortable, leaving you shifting against the leather seats. You knew Genya was probably fighting the urge to ask you if you wanted him to kick someone’s ass, and Sanemi… well, you didn’t know what he thought but you sure could guess what someone might think when they saw what you looked like after exiting a man’s house.

“Hungry?”

The question broke you out of your thoughts, and you caught Sanemi’s gaze in the rearview mirror. You’d eaten a couple hours ago, but after the day you’d had, you were starving. You didn’t realize how tense you were until just now, melting into the seat.

“Yeah, food sounds great.”

“Nemi and I were gonna grab something and then marathon Star Wars,” Genya told you. “You down?”

Your eyes flickered between the two brothers.

“Is that okay?”

“You’re over all the time already,” Sanemi replied nonchalantly.

It was true: you often dropped in or crashed at their place after work or on your days off to hang out with Genya. The two of you had been fast friends since you both worked the same shifts at work during high school. You’d moved on to other things, as had Genya, but your friendship had remained and grown as you did.

Sanemi worked quite a bit to provide for his younger brother and himself after an accident that left both of them orphans, and he was often gone when you and Genya hung at his place, but he’d found a better job recently that left him with more days off. With his schedule freed up a bit, he’d been around more while you crushed Genya at Mario Kart and experimented with new recipes in their spacious kitchen.

Sanemi had been little more than a passing thought before, but since seeing him more frequently, you’d developed a fascination with the scarred man with the shock of white hair. It wasn’t like the crushes you’d had on other guys- giddy, giggling things- but instead a hot coal in your stomach that left you uncomfortable and squirming when he was nearby. Sanemi was short-tempered and gruff, and had a permanent scowl on his face, but something about him made butterflies sprout in your chest.

It made you feel foolish, and you knew you’d die if Sanemi ever found out. You’d gone to great lengths to put physical and emotional distance between the two of you, a practiced civility that bordered on cold. It was the only way you could manage to keep yourself in check around him.

With the food acquired (taco bell was Genya’s favorite, much to Sanemi’s disdain), the three of you were back at the Shinaguzawa household in record time. Genya plopped on the couch, patting the seat next to him. You hesitated, the stickiness under your clothes itching uncomfortably now.

“Here,” Sanemi appeared out of thin air, thrusting a towel into your hands. “You know where the shower is.”

Your face heated as you slunk away, disappearing into the tiled bathroom. You must have looked pretty rough if Sanemi was telling you to shower.

Genya furrowed his brows disapprovingly at his brother as you vanished.

“I know you’re trying to help, but you should really work on how you talk to people.”

“Why?” Sanemi settled on the far end of the sofa.

Genya pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Because,” he groaned. “You don’t have tact.”

“I was giving her a towel; why does that need tact?” Sanemi turned the television on. “She obviously wanted a shower.”

“You’re useless,” Genya dug out his burrito. “It’s no wonder nobody will date you.”

Sanemi snatched the food from Genya with a glare, pushing him away with a socked foot when Genya complained and reached for the stolen bag.

“Biting the hand that feeds you means you’re gonna lose the food,” Sanemi told him.

“Genya!”

Your voice from down the hall had the younger brother craning his neck, Sanemi leaning back to peer down the dim hall curiously.

“I’m stealing some of your clothes,” you exited Genya’s room, holding up a handful of cloth. “And I’m borrowing your washer.”

“Sure, go ahead,” Genya nodded, watching you disappear into the bathroom.

The silence as Sanemi set up the movie was relaxed. Genya fished his food from the bag and set it far away from his brother, disposing of the trash as the sound of water reached their ears.

“So I guess you two aren’t fucking then?”

Genya choked on his burrito, slamming his fist into his chest. When he finally could breathe again, he turned his red face towards Sanemi with a glare.

“What the hell would give you that impression?”

“Look,” Sanemi plucked a cinnamon twist from its spot nestled in fast food paper. “I see you guys hanging out all the time. You’re close. I just figured-”

“We’re friends,” Genya cut him off. “She literally was on a date with someone today.”

“A shitty one,” Sanemi interjected.

Genya rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah, a shitty one. I swear she’s got the worst luck when it comes to dating. It’s like she’s an asshole magnet.”

“This happened before?”

Sanemi’s interest was piqued. He’d grown curious about the girl who showed up at the house to keep Genya company and use the kitchen at odd hours. You were incredibly sweet but had a sassy streak around people you were comfortable with. He’d heard you swear like a sailor over losing a game, but even from the next room over he could hear the grin in your tone. It did confuse him how you’d go from acting like you were in your own house while Genya was there, to suddenly stiffening and growing formally polite around him.

“Yeah, like four or five times. Usually, I’ll hear about it the next day, but she’s never called for a ride before.”

“She should’ve just told the guy no date until her car is fixed,” Sanemi took a swig of his drink. “That’d fix that problem. Can’t help with the bad taste in men, though.”

“I don’t have bad taste.”

Your voice cut the air sharply, and the brothers twisted around to see you standing behind the couch, hair damp and body swallowed by Genya’s clothes. Your embarrassed face was juxtaposed by the glare plastered across it. A few pale bruises peeked above the loose collar of the borrowed shirt.

“Then how do you explain consistently shit dates?” Sanemi countered, raising a brow.

Your face burned and you ducked your head between your shoulders.

“…bad luck?”

The white-haired man snorted into his cup. You scowled, plopping down on the couch next to Genya.

“I can’t help it men are pigs who don’t know what the word ‘no’ means,” you bit back, hackles raised at Sanemi’s reaction.

You didn’t think the air could get more uncomfortable, but here you were, starting to squirm as you did your best to avoid the piercing gazes of the Shinazugawa brothers. Genya’s whole body had leaned forward as his hands dug into the couch. Sanemi’s normal resting bitch face hardened farther and his eyes narrowed to pinpricks.

“I’ve got a crowbar in the garage-”

“Nemi!” Genya elbowed him before quickly turning back to you. “Unless… I mean unless you wanted-”

“No!” you shook your head, covering your face. This night was just getting worse the more you had to talk about everything. “I just want to forget about it. Can we watch the movie please?”

Familiar music filled the air as Star Wars began to play. You honestly didn’t care for the franchise all that much but it was a welcome distraction from your morning. You inhaled your food before snuggling down into the couch your lids grew heavy. You finally let them shut, unable to stay awake any longer as the hum of conversation and sound effects melted into the background.

Your dreams were staticky and punctuated by odd dialogue filtering in through your ears from the movies playing, but eventually you fell into a dead sleep, mind dark and empty as the exhaustion caught up to you.

When you jolted awake, the sun had gone down and the curtains were drawn, leaving the living room dark. The couch’s raised fabric pattern was imprinted on your cheek, accompanied by drool trickling from your open mouth.

Gross.

You wiped it away with the back of your hand, sitting upright. The living room was empty, food wrappers cleaned up and a fuzzy blanket laid over your body. Sanemi and Genya were nowhere to be seen. You pushed yourself up, reaching for your phone.

10:18PM.

Genya would normally still be up at this time. You picked yourself up off the couch and padded down the hall, knocking on his door.

No answer.

You opened it slowly, not wanting to get an eyeful if he was in the middle of choking his chicken or something else that would scar you for life. His room was entirely empty, bed uncharacteristically neat. Eyebrows knit together to create a crease.

“Do you always creep around like an intruder?”

Sanemi’s voice made you jump, spinning around to face him. You clutched your chest where your heart beat erratically from the scare, trying to hold back a scowl.

“Jesus Christ dude,” you spit out when you finally caught your breath. “Don’t do that.”

“What?” Sanemi crossed his arms. “Walk through my own house?”

“Surprise me,” you took a step back, gathering your wits. “In the dark.”

Sanemi reached over with one hand, flipping the light switch. The sudden harsh illumination made you squint, which did nothing to make your face look less irritable.

“Genya got called into work about two hours ago,” Sanemi answered your unspoken question. “He said you could use his bed if you wanted to.”

You peered back into the room behind you. Sanemi probably wouldn’t want to drive you home, so you supposed you could crash in Genya’s bed for the night. Wouldn’t have been the first time, and probably not the last. Genya always insisted you take his bed if you stayed the night anyway. He claimed the couch was more comfortable (a lie if you’d ever heard one).

“If it’s no trouble,” you pulled the blanket tighter. “I’ll be out of your hair in the morning.”

Sanemi let out a long sigh, leaving you to side-eye him as he rolled his shoulders. When he finally quieted and brought his attention back to you, he looked both pissed and concerned.

“Is it something I did?”

You blinked owlishly, cocking your head.

“What?”

“You always do this,” he gestured to you. “You’re relaxed and chill when Genya’s here, but the moment I show up you get all… frosty. Did I say something to offend you?”

You shifted from one foot to the other, opening your mouth briefly before snapping it shut, trying to think before you said anything stupid. It didn’t work, as per usual.

“N-no, you just make me nervous-”

Sanemi’s face briefly reminded you of a kicked puppy, and you felt horrible. Of course he’d assume you were frightened of him because of his scars. You chided yourself mentally, attempting to fix your mistake.

“N-not like that!” you lifted your hands to wave them wildly, and the blanket slipped to the floor and puddled around your feet. “I just-you make me nervous because you’re hot!”

Both of you froze this time, and your face lit up bright red, ears burning as your mouth fell open and eyes bugged out at your slip of the tongue. You wished you could melt into the wooden floorboards of the hall.

Sanemi broke out of his stupor first, a slow grin spreading across his face. You would’ve run if you hadn’t been rooted to the floor in humiliation.

“Oh, is that it?” he leaned down, resting one palm flat against the doorframe near your head.

His face was close-too close to yours to be completely comfortable. You turned your head away, trying to calm your racing heart. There’s no way Sanemi was flirting with you. He was probably just being an asshole, right?

Right?

“Genya isn’t the only one who has a bed,” Sanemi’s smirk was crooked, eyes half lidded. His face swiftly softened when he noted your eyes flickering to your left and right like a frightened rabbit. He took a step back, allowing you your personal space again.

“Sorry,” he apologized, eyes gentle amidst the sharp planes of his face. “You just had a shitty date and here I am being a bad host. You’re probably tired.”

You hadn’t seen this side of Sanemi before much. You were used to his cocky glares and barking laughter. Not this gentle tone like someone coaxing a horse.

“You’re not bad,” you burst out, wanting to ease the tense atmosphere. “I just- I don’t… know how to act around you.”

Your face burned. How many embarrassing confessions would you make tonight? You were already at two and counting.

“I’m not a pig,” Sanemi echoed your words from earlier. “I know how to take a ‘no’.”

“I-it’s not a no!”

Sanemi’s gaze snapped back to you, shocked but curious. You bit your lip, clenching your fists.

“It’s… not a no. I’m just not sure-”

“If you’re not sure, then it’s the same thing,” Sanemi picked the blanket up from off the floor and looping it around your shoulders like a cape.

Your fingers snagged it without a second thought, anchoring it in place where he’d laid it. You weren’t sure where your eyes should settle, but risked peeking up at him. His eyes rested on your visage with a gentleness that rivaled the brush of his fingers as they withdrew from fabric around your body. Those lilac eyes were a little curious, a little resigned, and a little hungry.

You reached out with one hand, hooking your fingers in the hem of his shirt. He paused. You took a deep breath and stepped forward.

“I want you,” you maintained eye contact as you spoke- quite the feat when your heart was trying to escape through your throat.

Sanemi stared at you as if trying to gauge your sincerity.

“Please?” you tacked on as an afterthought, suddenly afraid that he’d laugh in your face or- worse- reject you outright for some other reason. You could thin of a million, but the one you worried most about was him thinking you were some kind of loose woman who slept around-

Hands threaded through your hair, and you felt lips on your own. You melted into the unexpected touch, anxiously moving closer until you were fully pressed against Sanemi’s body. Heat rolled off him comfortingly, and your hands twisted in his white tank top. His teeth nipped against your lower lip, forcefully requesting entrance. You granted it, running your tongue along his teeth, tasting mint and the faintest lingering bitterness of tobacco.

Cigarettes.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” you whispered as he broke away for a breath.

A brief embarrassed guilt flashed across his features before he shrugged.

“I’m working on quitting. Don’t want Genya to think it’s okay but… we all have our vices.”

You laughed, reaching up to touch his hair.

“Genya tried cigs and isn’t a fan, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

The look on Sanemi’s face was comical, and you held in a giggle. He glared behind you in the direction of Genya’s bed.

“The little fucker-”

“Hey, he’s a good kid,” you insisted, feeling more at ease speaking with Sanemi now that his hands were around your waist. It was both soothing and thrilling.

Sanemi crowded you against the wall, dropping his head until your gazes were level. His eyes bored into yours and it felt as if you were suddenly being interrogated.

“You two really aren’t fucking?”

The question took you aback a little bit, but you shook your head.

“He’s like my little brother.”

Sanemi’s grin split across his face, crooked and sharp. Your stomach fluttered as the tip of his nose brushed against yours, fanning his breath across your lips.

“Good. Because I’m taking you.”

Before you had a chance to ask what he meant, you were lifted off your feet and carried- with an undignified squeal- through the hall and into Sanemi’s room. When he dropped you on the bed, the air left your lungs in a gasp, and it took a second to get your bearings.

“If you say stop, or no, at any point,” Sanemi’s shirt was whipped off over his head as he approached the bed, “I’ll back off. If you can’t speak, tap me three times.”

Your eyes locked on his torso as you nodded dumbly, taking in the muscles and scars across his ribs and pecs, down his sides and crowning his hips. It took everything in you to tear your vision away to meet his face as he crawled over you, running his hand up your neck until he cradled your jaw.

“Now… how about I make you forget all about that shitty fucking guy from earlier?”

The kiss was soft and chaste, not what you expected after how heated things had gotten in the hallway. Sanemi’s hands reached for the edge of the t-shirt you wore- Genya’s t-shirt- and lifted it until it caught on your face, tugging a bit when your head was stuck until it popped off, leaving your hair mussed. He brushed the stray strands from your face, eyes dropping to your bare breasts.

Shit.

In the chaos of excitement, you’d forgotten about the marks left from your earlier date. Your hands immediately went to cover them in horror. Sanemi stopped you, grabbing your wrists and holding them from blocking his view. His lips pressed to each mark, scraping his teeth and sucking them until they grew darker. Each bruise was remarked afresh by his mouth until not one was left untouched.

Your head had fallen back, a trembling hum dragged from your lips at the feeling of Sanemi’s touch. He sucked a few new marks as well, higher up on your neck, making sure to lavish the juncture of your shoulder and throat with attention. Your hands dug into his hair, tugging and holding back a keen of pleasure.

“There,” he pulled back, satisfied with his work.

Your breath hitched, watching him slide his fingers under the satin basketball shorts clinging to your hips. Being fully exposed to Sanemi was frightening, your entire body going rigid, remembering the offhand snide comments you’d endured only hours ago in the same situation. Sanemi noted the way you wouldn’t meet his eye, ducking your head and pulling your legs towards yourself as if you were going to curl in on yourself.

“I can’t see your pretty face,” he lifted your chin with a finger, thumbing your lip. “I want you to look at me while I go down on you.”

Your face blazed red, and it crept down your neck until your chest flushed as well, watching Sanemi drop his face between your legs, forcing them apart while maintaining eye contact. You slowly eased yourself down until you were only propped up on your elbows.

“Ready, pretty girl?”

It was humiliating how your cunt fluttered at the words, and you nodded, transfixed by his cocky smile as he stuck his tongue out, just barely flicking the little nub that hid under its fleshy hood. The anticipation made you squirm a bit, even though the touch wasn’t enough to affect you. Sanemi hooked his arms around your thighs, anchoring you in place before burying his face against your hot core. Your back arched, a muffled moan fluttering past your lips as your nails scratched his scalp.

You could feel him grin against your cunt as his tongue dipped in and out, tracing the sides and up towards your clit. He avoided directly touching it until you were practically grinding against his face in desperation, desperate short whimpers huffed through your nose. Your lower lip was tucked under your top teeth, bitten and swollen due to your barely restrained desire.

“Please, Sanemi,” you finally gasped.

He pulled back, chin slicked with your juices.

“Please what?”

“You know what!” you whined.

Leave it to Sanemi to be an asshole while eating you out. You couldn’t really complain though- he was impressively good.

“Use your words, sweetheart.”

“Please,” you dropped your head to the sheets so you wouldn’t have to look at him as you spoke. “Let me cum.”

“I’m not stopping you.”

You shot up, glaring at Sanemi with a fury you didn’t know was in you. That pleased smirk was plastered on his gorgeously annoying face. You moved your legs so they locked behind his head, holding him in place.

“Don’t be a fucking tease!” you shook him a little by his cornsilk hair, just firm enough to show you weren’t a fan of his antics.

Sanemi huffed a laugh against your inner thigh. His mouth was already back on you, finally going high enough to reach that sensitive button that he’d been neglecting. You sighed in relief, thighs clenching around his face. It didn’t take long after that for that coil in your stomach to build, snapping and throwing you over the edge when Sanemi’s flat tongue caressed your clit.

He kept going despite your choked cry and the way you arched up off the bed, limbs shaking and legs shaking. When you finally couldn’t take it anymore your hands pushed against his head, forcing him away. He sat up, looking over your trembling body and heaving chest. Your eyes were closed, a ringing sound in your ears from the intensity of the orgasm that was currently acting like a muscle relaxer.

A muffled groan pulled you from your pleasure-induced haze, and your eyes slit open. Sanemi’s pants were gone, pupils blown out. You didn’t realize how hard he was already, the outline of his dick inside the confines of his gray boxers surprising you as he palmed himself through the fabric. His own breathing was labored, and he swallowed, noticing your eyes opening.

“You good, princess?”

You nodded, feeling a bit sleepy, but pushed yourself up until you were sitting.

“Up for another round?”

You reached out, a bit hesitant, but tugged on the waistband of his underwear. That was all the answer he needed, and Sanemi stripped out of them, fishing around in the drawer of his nearby nightstand until he was able to produce a condom. It was opened and rolled on in a flash. He nudged your legs apart, settling between them and lining himself up at your entrance. You were incredibly slick from your earlier orgasm, and he pushed in with little resistance. The intrusion was still unexpected, and your fingernails bit into his forearm. Sanemi let out a shaky breath as he bottomed out, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Good job, sweetheart,” he whispered through gritted teeth. “Let me know when you’re ready for me to move.”

Instead of answering him verbally, you pushed up against him, grinding your cunt down onto his dick. The choked cry from his lips was like honey to your ears, and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Fuck me, Sanemi,” you breathed into his ear.

You barely finished the sentence before his hips began pounding into you, a cacophony of grunts and groans escaping his throat. He grabbed your legs and folded them back, angling deeper into your sopping cunt and hitting something inside you that made your toes curl. Each thrust punched the air from your lungs, leaving you too breathless to even moan out your satisfaction. Sanemi’s grip on your legs was leaving bruises but you didn’t care. You were enveloped in the feeling of his cock drilling into you relentlessly, his eyes half closed as the veins in his neck and arms stood out from the force he applied with each movement.

“S-Sanemi!”

The strangled cry you managed to get out among the intense movement filled the hot air of the room. Sanemi’s grip tightened on your legs and his hips stuttered against yours. His mouth had fallen open, eyes lidded with pleasure. His groans rose in pitch until they were more whines than anything, and the staccato beat of skin on skin lost all rhythm.

Sanemi came with a long moan, his mouth dropping to your neck, suckling as he ground up against you, hands loosing their hold on your legs to scramble for your hips. The tension in your stomach snapped with the last few jerks of his hips, a pleasant buzz settling in your limbs and chest a second time as your walls fluttered around his pulsing member. Your arms draped across his shoulders in an embrace as he came down from his high.

It was too warm in the room, but neither of you made a move. You hummed into his soft hair in hazy satisfaction.

“That was nice,” your hoarse voice drew Sanemi’s eyes to your half-asleep face.

He chuckled.

“Just nice?”

You tousled his hair, feigning a pout.

“What, you need your ego stroked?”

Sanemi snaked his hand down your body, flicking your still-sensitive nub with a finger. Your body jerked involuntarily, a cry escaping from your lips. You whined at him, burying your face in your hands in embarrassment.

“I made you come twice,” Sanemi said. “How many times did that piece of shit you call a date make you come?”

You mumbled your answer, and Sanemi narrowed his eyes, gently abusing your clit again. You squirmed in an attempt to get away, but he was still buried to the hilt inside of you.

“He didn’t-” you said, fingers digging into the sheets on either side of you.

“That’s what I thought,” Sanemi ground against you, and you wriggled against the intense feeling of overstimulation. “Pretty girls like you deserve to be treated well, don’t you think?”

If you hadn’t been blushing before, you definitely were now. All you could manage was a nod as Sanemi slowly pulled out of you. You whimpered at the loss, feeling empty and cold as he tied off the condom and tossed it in the trash.

“What do pretty girls like you deserve?” Sanemi lifted your chin with his fingers.

“To be… treated well?”

Sanemi had a satisfied grin plastered on his face, and he kissed you deeply before pulling back and nodding.

“So how about you find yourself someone who’ll treat you like a princess?”

His words set your heart fluttering again, and you wet your lips, staring at him expectantly.

“Okay. Have any suggestions?”

His laughter huffed through his nose at your innocent and eager expression. Sanemi kissed the tip of your nose, cradling your jaw in his hand.

“You’re looking at him.”

#sanemi smut #demon slayer smut #kimetsu no yaiba #fic writer #fanfiction #demon slayer fanfic #sanemi x reader #kny sanemi #kny genya

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pinkheartist · 27 days ago

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Imagine the SAGAU with Mitsuri! Reader? :3 (Part one?)

TW: mentions of Eating disorder, but mostly fluff and comfort. OCC characters??? Idk

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You’re self-aware of how much you truly eat, it’s not your fault, really! But when it comes to your favorite characters, you can’t help but feel a little insecure about it. You already had problems with that in the past, the feeling of people constantly judging the amount of food you ate was stuck in your mind and others saying that you had the appetite of a dragon wasn’t nice to your confidence. What if they start to appreciate you less as the almighty creator? would they be disgusted by this habit of yours?

With that possibility in mind, you reprimed your appetite and stuck to the plan of eating as few as possible, sometimes not even eating half of the plate they would offer to you properly. You really thought no one would notice? truly naive of you. They first thought you didn’t like the food, but after noticing your eyes glimmering and your mouth watering at the food before you shake your head and refuse it, they realized it was more complex than just a matter of personal taste.

Ei was the first to take the initiative alongside Nahida to try and talk to you about it. She may seem intimidating, but deep inside there is still a golden heart lying behind her stoic face. With a bit of persistence from Nahida’s part, they managed to get answers from you. The Electro and Dendro Archons comforted you, Ei gave you a portion of Kuki’s famous chocolate chip cookies that she bought, this was the best she could do since her cooking was awful, and Nahida affirmed that no matter how big your appetite was, they would still love you as their creator no matter what. They both wipe your tears away after you cry from relief, that the possibility of them shaming you from who you are never came…

The other Archons also joined the party. When you said you had the appetite of a dragon, Zhongli was left confused until you told him what it meant (He’s a little too literal). “There is nothing to be ashamed about. Your enormous strength must come from eating a bigger amount of food, right? Then, you should continue eating as much as you like. Don’t waste your ability to hear on those pesky little comments on your body, you are absolutely perfect in my point of view, Your Grace” The Geo dragon said, and trust me when i say that he would personally throw his polearm at the person who even thought of looking at you the wrong away while you eat at least 3 plates of (favorite meal)

If you said you would get heavy if you eat so much, Venti would use his Anemo powers to make you fly, seeing you smile from the fun you were having was like a Cupid’s arrow striking right in his heart (again). “See? You’re light enough for the wind to carry you, so I don’t want to hear you calling yourself heavy again. You are very much deserving of compliments, more then you think you are! I assure you that” Venti demanded after safely putting you down. “But-” “No buts!” Venti interrupted you before you could say any nonsense about yourself. As the self-proclaimed most devoted and loyal Archon you had, he would never bring himself to let you put yourself down like that

Furina did the best she does to make your feel better: Put up the best of her performances to take even the slightest of the smiles off from you. You can’t say it didn’t worked, the show was amazing! And after the show, Furina offered you a piece of (favorite flavour) cake that she brought from the best bakery there is on Fontaine, along with some macarronis made by herself and tea. “I’m banning any degradetive words with the slightest reference to you, and that rule also will apply to you!“ she exclamed “M-Me?“ You stuttered “Yes! Such blasphemy about the magnificent divine shoudn’t leave from any person’s mouth, specially when you’re the one doing it“ Her blue eyes softened as getting lost on yours “...Don’t say such things about yourself, it breaks my heart to see you blinded by insecurety, not seeing how stunning you are..“

Mavuika was surprised by the way you honestly described yourself. Of course, she did expected you to be humild on your own description, but not so lowly to the point you compare yourself to a monster, and for what? For eating 3 more than proper meals everyday plus a ton snacks? That’s ridiculous!! who put that thought on your head? She’ll hunt this person like there is no tomorrow. But jokes aside, “Hey, it’s not something you can exactlly control, can you? Everybody works differently. And your apitite is something unique, a thing that difies you from the rest, in a good way!“ she ruffles you hair, grinning widely at your flustered expression “Plus, the way you get so excited over the diverse cusines around Teyvat, and your eating face are the most adorable thing in the world!“

________________ꨄ_________________

Ummmmm…Yeah, srry if it’s bad i haven’t write for a century. If you’d like me posting more of those, please let me know :3 Baiii ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

Tag list

??? (I’m too shy to tag someone lol)

#genshin impact sagau #sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact x reader #mitsuri kanroji #Mitsuri! reader #sagau x reader #genshin impact #genshin venti #genshin zhongli #genshin ei #genshin nahida #genshin furina #genshin mavuika #genshin archon

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stairain · 1 year ago

Text

Mommy's Boyfriend.

While dropping off your son at school, the last thing you expect is your ex-boyfriend Mr.Reid to be his teacher.

Warnings: Soft Dom Spencer, Mother reader, Your child is unnamed don't think too much about it, make-up sex, cunnilingus, begging, gentle-ish sex, doggy style, light choking, cream pie, he loves you too much.

WC: 7.1K

It was the first day of school, and you were dropping your son off, walking through the hallway and holding the little boy's hand. As you passed through various rooms, you smiled at passing teachers and students. When you finally make it to your son's classroom, you kneel down and kiss his forehead before saying a few encouraging words to him, patting his back before urging him into the room.

"I'll see you in a few hours, love.."

You say to him as he walks away from you. When you stand up, you're not at all expecting Spencer to be standing there behind you. The two of you had broken up just before summer started, and although you knew he was a teacher, you were really hoping you didn't see him today.

What are the chances he’s your son's teacher? Apparently very high ones.

You give him a forced polite smile before trying to walk away from him as quickly as you could.

As Spencer watches you go, he’s hit with a wave of shame, guilt, and disgust. He should never have let things end the way he had. He should’ve tried to fix things but, instead, he had just given up. It was something he would never forgive himself for. He decides that he’s not going to let you go without at least knowing that he regrets his actions. He walks after you.

"Hey."

You hear him, and the clicking of your heels against the floor speeds up as you try to get away from him as fast as possible.

"Wait.." He says in a calm, firm, serious voice with a hint of a pleading tone. He picks up his pace and is quickly closing the distance between you two. When he moves closer to you, he reaches a hand out to plant on your shoulder, trying to stop you.

When you shrug off his hand, he purses his lips and quickly runs in front of you, so you're forced to stop. You blink at the quick movement and look up at him with eyes full of undercover malice. Pushing your tongue into your cheek in annoyance, you quietly snap at him, so as to not attract a crowd.

"Can I help you?"

Spencer looks at you with eyes that are full of regret, sadness, shame, and longing. He takes a small step closer to you. You can see that he’s upset, but most of the emotions he is feeling are negative ones directed at himself. He looks like he wants to hug you and cry at the same time, but he is restraining himself, far too scared to make you even angrier at him. Even in all of his sadness and regret there is still a little bit of love in his eyes, and it looks like he’s about to cry.

You bite your lips as the look in his eyes still never ceases to make you melt. With a small shake of your head, you speak.

"Listen, it's been great seeing you, but I just came to drop off my kid, alright?" You push past him and start walking towards the front doors, not wanting to be around him any longer than you already have.

Spencer reaches out and grabs your wrist before you can make it to the door. He looks at you with pleading eyes, still full of the same negative self-loathing emotions, but there’s a glint of hope and love in them.

"Wait–please." He says, his tone now urgent. "I just need two minutes of your time; to explain."

You take a deep breath and look down at your watch before you look back at him. "Don't you have a job to do?"

Spencer takes a deep breath and his eyes narrow before his expression softens again. "Yes, I do," he says.

"But, I'll go to work every day for the rest of my life. Please, just two minutes of your time." He looks desperate and pleading but, if you refuse again, he seems like he’ll let you go.

It hurts you to admit it, but his words make your heart swell. If there was one thing he was always good at doing, it was putting you first. But ironically, that's what got the two of you here in the first place. With wavering eyes, you look around before sighing, and agreeing.

"Two minutes."

A huge wave of relief washes over Spencer and he can't help but smile a little bit. He walks you to a quiet place to talk. Once you are out of earshot of everyone around he looks at you with regretful eyes, and his voice begins to crack a bit.

"I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you and I am so sorry for the way I treated you. I was too caught up in my work and didn't give our relationship the attention it needed and I regret it every day. Please, forgive me."

You shake your head and look down at anywhere but him, because you know the second your gaze locks with those puppy-dog eyes you've always adored, all of your progress of "getting over him" in the past few months would go to waste in a heartbeat.

"I-I don't know, Spence.."

You hadn't even noticed the way you referred to him as his nickname you always used to call him, too caught up in your emotions to acknowledge it now.

"Please," His voice sounds desperate, like he might break down any moment now.

"I would do anything to fix what I have done. Please, just give me one more chance. I will never take you or our relationship for granted again. I love you."

As those last few words escape his lips his voice breaks and he looks like he might just get down on both knees and beg you. He looks completely ready and willing to show you, not just tell you, how sorry he is and that he can and will make things right.

Raising your chin a little to look at him through teary lashes, you run your thumb along your waterline. With a heavy sigh, you finally find the courage to look him in the eyes.

"You have a class to teach, Spencer. I'm sorry."

"I'll call in sick. I'd walk away from my job in an instant if it meant I got you back."

His voice is desperate as it breaks again and tears well up in his eyes.

"Please, love. Just give me a chance."

He looks heartbroken, and this is probably the most emotional, intense, and passionate he has ever been about his love for you and it's hard for you to resist. You’re sure you'll be making a mistake by saying no, but at the same time, you feel you’ll be making an even bigger mistake by saying yes.

You almost laugh at his words, but you stop yourself before you do. If you laughed in his face right now, you know he'd absolutely be crushed. With a sad smile, you sniff.

"Don't do that, Spencer."

With one last look at your watch, you barely think about the next words that leave your mouth. You were just saying whatever he wanted to hear, you couldn't help it. Even after everything, you just wanted to please him.

"Listen, I- School ends at three, right? When I come to pick him up, we can talk more, okay?"

Spencer is absolutely thrilled by how things just went. He fully expected you to just walk out on him, and he wouldn’t even blame you. He tries to hide the happiness on his face but he's unable to prevent himself from letting a small smile creep onto his lips. He nods his head in agreement.

"Three o'clock," He says in a calming, but still emotional, voice. "I'll be right here." He looks over you for a second before he turns and walks away, still clearly full of hope and optimism.

And you're left in the room by yourself and your thoughts as he walks out. You know this is a mistake, and you should've just ignored him and went on with your life, but it was too late now. In a battle with your heart and your head, you think you're going to let your heart win.

As the day passes, you're running errands and doing some work of your own, but your mind is somewhere else.

It's only two thirty, you've got another half hour until you see him again, and you feel your nerves race through your body. As you sit in your car in silence, the sound of your heart pounding in your chest rings in your ears, and it taunts you.

You can't help but feel excited as you think about finally getting the chance to talk to him and try to work things out despite knowing full well that this is a bad idea. Part of you still wants to run, but the idea of having him in your life again feels like a dream come true and it’s hard to resist that kind of temptation when it is just within your grasp.

At three o'clock Spencer is waiting at the school, just as he promised, hoping you won't change your mind.

Taking a deep breath and shaking out your hands, you get out of the car and begin to walk towards the entrance of the school. All of the other children and parents were walking back to their own cars, and you remember then that your son had after-school sports, and he wouldn't be going home with you now.

At least it gave you and Spencer more time to speak. As you walk closer to him, the pounding of your pulse fills all of your senses, and you force a polite smile on your face.

As you approach him he smiles and hugs you. His arms are warm and comforting, and just having him hold you again makes you feel better. You can tell he is nervous too, you can see it in the way his eyes are darting around and how he keeps fidgeting his hands. You can also tell that he’s trying to keep his composure and has the same polite smile you do. He's trying to act like things are normal and like he isn't just dying of impatience for when you two can go somewhere to have a serious conversation.

With a small push to his chest, you break the hug with an awkward chuckle. His touch felt so nice, so comforting, but it was too much for you right now. You clear your throat as you stand in front of him with your arms behind your back and stutter as you speak.

When you push him away you can see a little bit of hurt in his eyes before it’s quickly replaced with understanding and patience.

"I-I forgot that.. I forgot my son has soccer practice now.. So I don't have to pick him up for a few hours.." Your voice is wavering and sheepish, and you sound so unsure of yourself. The woman you were this morning, strong and unwilling to speak to the man in front of you was traded for a whole new persona, one that couldn't help but fumble under the gaze of Spencer.

"I see." He says in a calm, comforting tone, "Then, what would you like to do? Where would you like to talk?" As he speaks you can see him relax a little bit, but he is still filled with nervous energy, but it's clear that he’s trying to help you calm down.

And before you can stop yourself.

"We could go back to my place.."

When you say those words a huge smile makes its way across Spencer's face. He nods in agreement and takes your hand in his. You let him hold it.

"Your place, it is." As he speaks he leads you to his car and opens the passenger side door for you before getting into the driver's side himself. He turns to look at you to make sure you've gotten in safely and smiles again before turning forward to drive from the school to your house. As he drives, your thoughts race. You start thinking of all the ways this could go wrong, and they outweigh everything that could go right.

It almost hurts your heart that he still remembers where you live, without a GPS or directions. It's like he never really forgot, how could he? It's all muscle memory to him.

As Spencer drives, a wave of nostalgia hits him hard. He can't help but remember all the sweet moments you have had at your place. He remembers the long nights, and the quiet mornings. He remembers the way you used to make him feel.

Then it hits him, these are the same feelings that made him make the huge, dumb mistake that got him in this situation in the first place. If he doesn't want to lose you again he’s going to have to do everything in his power to fix his mistakes and do everything he needs to do in order to make you happy.

Pulling into your driveway, you swallow before unbuckling yourself and stepping out of the car. You don't wait on him as you're walking up the pavement to your front door, pushing it open and walking inside.

Spencer gets out of the car and follows you inside, closing the door gently behind him. He walks over to you and looks at you with intense love and affection in his eyes. Before you can speak, he gives you a long, passionate kiss. For those few seconds he is able to forget everything and all he can think about is just how much he's missed you and how much he loves you. When he finally pulls away, you can see how hard he had to try to pull himself away in the first place, he missed the taste of your lips on his.

"I love you.."

You gasp against his lips when he breaks the kiss, and the way your eyes widen almost rivals the moon. The nerve of him, you thought. But when his hands reach up to cradle your jaw, you can feel the anger fizzling into pathetic dust and you pull him in for another bruising kiss.

Spencer kisses you back passionately and his arms wrap all the way around your waist in the embrace. A wave of calm crashes over him as he holds you close to him because nothing feels better in the moment than being close to you again.

After a few minutes of kissing you he pulls back just a little bit to look at you and breathlessly speak.

"I missed you," he says, a little breathless, "So much."

Your eyes are full of passion and vexation towards him and you all but growl out your words.

"Shut up and kiss me." Grabbing the collar of his dress shirt, you deal another violent kiss to him.

"Yes, ma'am."

Is all he can say as he moves in again. He had to pry your mouth away from him for air, and he leans in to kiss you again, but this time, instead of going straight for your mouth he makes his way to your neck. He’s leaning over slightly as kisses your neck, your ears, and your jaw in a playful move that has more passion behind it than playfulness, but you can still tell he is trying to tease you.

Growing impatient and letting months of pent up emotions control you, you grab his hand on your head and forcefully move it down to your ass, putting your hand overtop of his as you make him squeeze your rear.

Spencer lets out a gentle groan at the feeling of you gripped in his hand, and grabs the handful roughly, digging his fingers into the denim of your jeans.

"Now, can we talk?" His voice is gravelly and breathless.

You’re pushing his body back until the backs of his knees hit the couch, and he sits down on it. You sit down next to him and begin to kiss up his neck, one of your hands moving to hold his jaw steady.

"Go ahead.." You murmur against his neck as you press a wet and sloppy kiss against the goosebump raised skin.

Spencer lets out a small chuckle at how much you seem to be enjoying this. He's loving every second of it and he just smiles as his eyes start to go a little bit cross-eyed as he leans back into you.

"Stop that. I don't think I can hold a coherent thought like this."

His voice is half serious and half playful, still filled with the same passion and lust for you it has been the whole time.

"You're a genius, figure it out." Your voice is low and teasing as you bare your teeth against the flesh and nibble at it, leaving small, red marks.

Spencer groans a little bit as a shiver runs down his spine at the feeling of your teeth against his skin. His eyes go a little bit more cross-eyed the longer you do it to him.

"Please," His voice is a little bit breathless and it's unclear if he is asking you to stop or if he's just asking you to take a little break from it so he can finish his sentence. "I'm begging."

Despite his words, you continue to suck at his neck, determined to mark him as yours once more. He was right, you two needed to talk about it, but you were a little preoccupied at the moment. Smiling against his skin, you lick over a fresh hickey.

“Haven't changed much then, Spence.."

Spencer lets out a small noise that is part moan, part whine, and part laugh. His eyes are just about completely rolled back into his skull at this point.

"I can't talk at all while you're doing this," His voice is strained but it's clear he is trying desperately to keep a playful tone to it. "You're not going to make this easy are you?" You can hear him take a deep breath as he is just barely able to calm himself down enough to give you a warning.

"Nothing about this is easy, love.." The pet name just slips from your mouth, as if it were a habit. You don't dwell on it for too long as you lift yourself onto his lap and continue to kiss and mark his neck.

Spencer moves slightly to make it easier for you to sit on his lap and he lets out a soft sigh when he feels your weight against him and once again he can't help but smile.

"Baby," He says, his voice getting just a little bit more sincere now as he gives you a soft kiss on the cheek, "Please..." he asks one last time with pleading in his eyes.

"I have a lot to talk to you about. I'm not sure how you feel about everything but I promise it will be okay if you let me explain."

With a final press of your lips against him, you pull back and rest your hands on his shoulders.

"Speak then."

The man takes a deep breath and speaks with the most sincerity you have ever heard in his voice.

"I am truly, truly, sorry for what I did to you," His voice cracks at the end of the word ‘you’ as he gets emotional again. He takes a few more deep breaths to compose himself before tearily speaking again. You can see how much he means the things he is saying and how much it hurts him having to tell you this.

“You didn’t and don’t deserve anything I did to you. I was wrong, and I’m sorry."

You had hoped the cloud of lust that sat between the two of you was enough to distract and mask the real reason why he was here, and you sigh. The arousal in your body fades and is quickly replaced with solemnness.

"I didn't deserve it, and I so badly want to hate you, Spencer." He reaches a hand out to run through your hair as you talk, and you lean into his comforting touch. "I spent months wanting to scream at you, yell at you for how you treated me. I wasn't even going to talk to you today, really.."

At your words Spencer's eyes fill with regret. He can only imagine how hard and awful the past few months must have been for you and to know he is the one who put you through it all makes him feel like he's a monster.

"I can't blame you, I know I'm a terrible person.. I really do." Spencer's voice cracks and tears start to form in his eyes too, he looks at you with a sad, pitiful look in his eyes. "You didn't deserve any of it, baby. I don't know what I was thinking.."

You tilt your head to the side at his words and pout at the way he's putting himself down. With a slightly trembling hand, you reach to wipe the tears forming in his eyes.

"You're not a terrible person, Spence. Just.." Taking a deep breath, you actually think about your response this time. When you come to a conclusion, you don't know if it's the right one or not. "Just, promise not to do it again, alright?"

Spencer watches you as you wipe away the tears that have formed in his eyes. He looks up and meets your eyes with some of the most pure love and devotion he has ever had. He slowly nods his head in agreement as a small smile starts to form on his face at your response.

"I promise, my love... I will do anything to make up for what I've done."

His words are filled with so much love and compassion it almost seems impossible that he is the same man who hurt you so many months ago.

You slowly nod and swallow, and try to push away the already rising feelings of sadness and regret.

"Can I kiss you without being interrupted, now?"

Spencer chuckles a little and nods.

"Of course you can... I've been dying for one." He gives you a playful wink and a playful shove to your shoulder before turning to kiss you deeply. When he pulls away his eyes are filled with the same passion and desire you have always loved, and a bit of the same lust you felt earlier as well. He smiles at you as he leans back on the couch and wraps his hands on your hips.

"Come closer. I've missed you so much."

A warm feeling fills your body at his words and you grab the back of his head to tug him into a hot and heavy kiss, full of pent up emotions of anger, lust, love, and hurt.

Spencer moves in for the kiss with just as much desire and lust as you. He lets out a small, playful moan as you pull on his hair, he grabs your waist as you kiss him and a small smile forms on his mouth.

As your lips break apart he catches his breath for a minute but he seems unable to resist you for too long as he pulls you in again for another kiss, this one even stronger than the one before and his hands start to wander under your clothes to the small of your back. Just one moment seems to be too long without his arms around you and his lips on yours.

A sigh of satisfaction pours from your mouth into his, and the feeling of his hands on your bare skin was a sensation you've gone far too long without. His fingers swirling up the flesh of your back feels like it's burning you in the best way, and you're all too eager to finally connect with him again.

Moving your hands to take off your shirt, you pull away from the kiss, much to his disappointment. As you tug the fabric off your body and over your head, you're left in your bra and jeans as you look up at him through long lashes and sultry eyes.

Spencer gasps at the sight of you and it takes all of his restraint not to just pounce you like an animal. A grin washes across his face and that devilish glint returns to his eyes once more.

“You are more beautiful than I ever remembered,” He says in a way that is both flirtatious but also full of love and adoration. He smiles as he looks up at you.

“Will you allow me the honor of taking those off of you?”

"Please.." Is all you can mewl out, lust washing over your entire body, just ready to be his again.

At your words, Spencer's eyes light up with excitement and he smiles widely before getting off the couch and kneeling down in front of you. He slowly reaches out to the clasp of your bra and undoes it before slowly sliding it down your arms and off of you. He doesn't even try to hide his joy, it's evident in just how much he's smiling and the glimmer in his eye.

"You're still so perfect, my love... Just like a goddess." He whispers as he reaches to undo your jeans and unzip them.

You lift your bottom a bit off the couch to help him pull your pants down your legs, moaning softly at the cool air hitting your skin. Your arms cross over your chest, not used to being exposed like this after so long.

Spencer can't take his eyes away from you as he takes in your body again and a deep, content sigh escapes his lips as he looks at you.

"God.. You're more beautiful than I ever thought was possible," He whispers in amazement as his eyes take in your exposed body. "And you're just as beautiful on the inside too. I’m sorry it took me so long to understand that.."

You can feel your breath hitching at his words, and a warm blush spreads over your cheeks, and you slowly lower your hands from over your chest, and rest them next to your bare thighs. You're only left in your panties now, sitting on the couch as he's kneeling in front of you.

Spencer's heart speeds up and he breathes heavily as he takes in the view in front of him. It's almost a little overwhelming, but all he can manage to do is take it in and admire you as he is left speechless for a moment. Finally, he comes to and he slowly moves in to touch your thighs. He takes his time and caresses them softly with his fingertips.

At his soft soft, you flinch slightly before letting your body relax. You trusted him, even after so long.

You can see the care and love in every soft caress that Spencer deals to your delicate body. His slow, steady touch is done with an intensity and a passion that almost seems to radiate off of him and you can feel it as his fingertips glide over the skin of your thighs. You don't know if you have ever felt someone be so delicate, slow, and methodical with something before but it’s beautiful, almost like he was dealing with a piece of art.

Subconsciously, you feel yourself slowly spreading your legs as you watch his large hands move towards your body, and take the bands of your underwear in his fingers. He looks up at you for approval.

Spencer's breath catches in his throat and you can see his jaw practically hanging open as he's overwhelmed by the view that's in front of him. "You're beautiful, darling.." He says like it's a prayer. He lets out a soft sigh, and he nods in approval before slowly taking the bands off and peeling them down your legs.

You moan now that you're fully exposed in front of him, and all previous confidence you had in you has completely dissipated under his intense glare. Once the air flushes against your bare, soaked cunt, it makes you shudder with a shiver.

Spencer's eyes narrow down on you and they burn with passion and emotion at seeing you there on the couch in front of him, all spread out and ready for him. He's lost in you for a minute and you can see it as his breath hitches and his jaw is still hanging half open. He still moves with deliberate, slow, and gentle touches as he moves his hand to the top of your thigh.

"Baby.. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." He whispers breathless, almost as though he is stunned by just the sight of you.

Moving your legs, you hook your calf around the back of his head, pulling him closer to your spread thighs, and there's a devilish smirk on your face.

He’s caught aback by how you pull him closer to your core and his eyes go wide at the gesture. He seems a little bit surprised but in the end he doesn't argue, instead he lets out a small chuckle and moves in closer to the point that the front of his face is pressed up against your thighs.

"What are you doing to me, love?" He asks innocently with a smirk of his own as he looks up at you with an amused smile on his face. His warm breath is ghosting over your glistening hole, and it makes you all the more desperate for him.

“Making up for lost time.”

You pull him in closer with your leg latched around him, urging him to get on with it already. You hadn’t slept with anyone since the two of you broke up, and you never really had time to take care of yourself. But that’s what he was there for.

“Guess I better get to work, then..”

Spencer huskily spoke before leaning down and encasing your puffy clit between his spit slicked lips. The sensation instantly made you arch your back and jolt away from him, but he was quick to wrap his hands and arms under your thighs and over your hips, forcing you closer.

As he pulls you closer, his long wet tongue peeks out from his mouth and licks a broad stripe up your cunt, tasting just how much you missed him. With each lick, he was lapping up at your juices like a man starved, moaning at the way your slick coated his tongue.

Your lips were parted in a high pitched mewl, and you squeezed his head tighter with your legs. It made him dizzy, being suffocated by your shaking thighs and your gushing pussy, and he couldn’t have asked to be anywhere better.

The wet muscle between your folds was pistoning in and out of you like heavy machinery, working you just the way you needed. You could feel your cunt contracting around him, further gushing your arousal on his tongue.

Spencer was breathlessly moaning into your core, not being able to contain it. He was agonizingly hard in his pants, and it took everything in him to pry himself away from you. When he does, he deals one last slow, tortuous lick up your folds, before licking his lips and backing away.

You look up at him with pleading eyes, and he was already working on lifting you from the couch, quickly making his way into the hallway and where he knew your bedroom was.

You could feel your still soaked cunt rubbing against the silky fabric of his shirt, and couldn't help but grind your hips down against it. You had been so touch starved, that even this tiny bit of satisfaction made your breath catch in your throat.

He gently laid you down on the bed, making sure your head was rested against a pillow, before he practically tore the buttons off his shirt trying to take it off. And his pants were no different, the leather of his belt slid against the fabric of his dress pants, and as soon as you heard a small clank of metal against your floor, his pants followed suit.

When he was fully undressed, and crawled over your body until he was caging you underneath him, and the sight of his slightly sweaty hair falling over his face made your chest heavy with emotion.

Spencer leans down to kiss a line from your chin to your jaw, before stopping at your ear and lowly whispering into it.

“Think you can let me take care of you again, like old times?”

And it’s almost like his voice has put you under a trance, because before he can even finish, you’re nodding. It didn’t matter what he asked of you, you’d always say yes.

He lifts himself away from you with a small mirrored nod, before hoisting you by your waist and flipping your pliant body around, and propping a pillow under your stomach and hips.

The cool material pressed against your sweat sheened skin made you sigh, and his rough hands traced over the curves of your hips and ass like he was trying to relive all the nights that he used to have you like this; plush ass bent over in front of him, soaked cunt begging for attention, spread legs practically inviting him between them.

He swallows at the memories, and has a hard time convincing himself this is actually happening again. But he doesn’t dwell on it for too long, whether or not you’re really in front of him, or he’s just dreaming again, he can’t leave you like this. He loves you too much.

Trembling hands find the heavy bobbing length of his cock, and he grabs himself at the base, shakily squeezing in order to urge himself to not cum immediately. You deserved better than that. You deserved so much better than everything he could give you, and he promised himself he’d somehow redeem himself.

There wasn’t a better time to start than now, he thinks to himself as he tilts his hips forward to rub the leaking tip of his member against the silky folds of your cunt. And thank goodness he’s kneeling, because the second he felt soft, wet flesh against him, he would’ve collapsed.

“G-God.. Missed this..”

You lift your head slightly from where it’s pressed against the pillow, and look back at him with a lazy smile. Your voice is slighted muffled against the fabric, but he understands you.

“Didn’t get laid over the summer, Spence?”

You lift your ass higher, arching your back further so he would get the memo to fuck you already, and with a shake of his head and the cant of his hips, he’s easing himself inside of you, inch by inch.

“N-No.. Was always yours, love.”

The smile slowly falls from your face and you turn back around to bury your face in the pillow, trying to play it off with a pleasured sigh.

The two of you had stayed loyal to one another, despite everything. The thought made your heart swell and your cunt clench. He was unmistakably yours, and he always would be, no matter what.

The squeeze of your hole around him forced him inside of you quicker than he had planned on, and he had to bite his lip, breaking skin, to stop himself from finishing right there and then. He grunted as he tried to regain control over himself, and pushed himself the rest of the way inside of you.

When he was buried to the hilt inside of you, your eyes rolled back into your skull and you bit at the pillow to stop yourself from screaming. He filled you so perfectly, just as he used to. It felt right, like he belonged nowhere else but entirely swallowed by your cunt.

Spencer mutters out a few curses to himself before he’s draping himself over your body, pressing his firm chest against your damp back. His mouth is right by your ear, and you move your head to the side a bit to hear him better.

And hear him better you definitely do. You can feel the heave of his chest as he breathlessly begins to withdraw his cock from inside of you. The rub of his veiny, long length dragging along your soft walls had you cursing like a sailor.

As his breaths and moans quicken, so does the shove of his hips against your ass. He was so deep inside of you it was a miracle he was even able to pull himself out of you, but he managed to do it just fine. There were no complaints from you whatsoever as you felt him imprint the image of his tip right against your spot with every thrust he dealt to you.

Your hands were planted out in front of you, gripping at the fabric of the comforter when his own came and fully encompassed them. Spencer intertwined your fingers together as the visceral sound of your pussy sucking him deeper and deeper filled your ears.

Every time he humped into you, your clit brushed against the pillow, and it only made your cries of pleasure grow louder. The friction was dizzying, and you unknowingly clench around him impossibly tighter.

And he just about loses his mind at that moment. When he’s sucked flush against your body, he goes cross eyed and squeezes your hands in his, as if trying to ground himself. A guttural groan leaves him and it’s a few more moments before he’s panting in your ear as he starts to move once more.

He pulled back his hips to let his cock slide halfway out of you, before forcing himself back into that tight drenched cunt of yours. You can feel the spurt of arousal that leaks out of you at the force of his thrust, and you writhed at the feeling.

Your body shakes underneath his as the combined feeling of grinding yourself down against the pillow and how deliciously his length abused your cervix and puffy folds drives you mad. You were gasping for air, trading your desperate moans and whines for a chance at breathing.

“Sp-Spence.. Baby–please.”

There wasn’t one single thought in your brain that knew what you were begging for, but somehow, Spencer knew exactly what to give you.

“L-Love you so much, sweet thing..”

He moans out to you, then he leans down unbelievably closer to you. He lets go of one of your hands to wrap his own around your neck, grabbing at your throat as gently as he can to urge your face up to kiss him.

It’s a little hard to catch his lips with yours, as with each plow into you sent your body forward, along with how heavily he was breathing. But when you do, the two of you seal your lips together in a passionate, burning kiss.

His grip around your throat tightens a bit, and it’s enough to entirely set you off the edge. With one more ground of your hips against the pillow, and one more stamp of his cock against that little spongy spot inside of you, you’re suddenly soaking everything around you.

The wet noise of your release is all you and him can hear, as you’re spraying your arousal all over his hips, his cock, your thighs, and those poor sheets underneath the two of you. Your eyes cross almost comically at the feeling of your orgasm rushing through you, and Spencer is doing no better.

As he feels you squirt all over him, he curses into your ear and his entire body goes rigid. His hips still and he pushes himself as deep as he can possibly get before dumping everything he’s worth right into your soaked velvet core, sending ribbon after ribbon of his cum right against your cervix.

“F-Fuck.. Fuck.. fuck..”

All you can think about is how full you are. His cock is miraculously still hard inside of you, even though he’s emptied everything he’s got into you, and his thick cum is practically fighting for any room left you’ve got inside you.

Wet. Wet would be the only word to describe the scene you’ve found yourself in. Your body goes limp against the soaked bed, and his sweat drenched body finds itself at the same fate as he collapses against you. The hand around your throat loosens and snakes its way back to your lonely hand, intertwining them once again.

The both of you are panting against each other's faces for god knows how long, and neither of you have moved a muscle. You can feel his cum dripping out of you, running down the expanse of your thighs to join the puddles of your own arousal that pool against the bed.

With a groan, he slowly pulled out of you, and it was like pulling the plug to a well, because the second his cock left your hole, a gush of a mixture of your arousals flowed out of you.

He chuckles at the sight, while you just moan softly. Spencer lays down right next to you and pulls your body against his, so you’re chest to chest. He reaches to move your sweaty hair out of your face, pressing a warm kiss against your sticky cheek. When he speaks, his voice is strained and you wouldn’t be surprised if he had lost his voice.

“You know, he was talking about you during class today..”

The slight rasp and squeak in his voice is problematically attractive to you, but you don’t think you could deal with another orgasm after flooding your own bed.

You shake your head and groan softly at his words.

“Oh god, what’d he say?”

“He kept saying to everyone, ‘Mr.Reid is Mommy’s boyfriend!’”

The tone in his voice heightens as he tries his best to imitate your son's words. You groan again and close your eyes.

“And I’m guessing you didn’t say anything to him about it?”

Your voice is strained and laced with faux annoyance, but he sees right through it. Spencer huffs out a small laugh and presses a kiss to your forehead. With the arm that’s holding you against him, he squeezes your shoulders lightly, as if to tease you.

“Course I didn’t, can’t embarrass him like that..”

Rolling your eyes, you sigh and he pulls you closer to him as you shake your head.

“You’re the worst, I hope you know.” Your tone is playful and teasing, but you can feel yourself relaxing in his hold, allowing yourself to savor the moment for the time being.

“Maybe, but at least I’m ‘Mommy’s boyfriend’ again..”

#spencer reid #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid smut #dom spencer reid #spencer reid x reader smut #dom spencer reid x reader #dom!spencer #dom!spencer reid #soft dom spencer reid #dom spencer #spencer reid angst

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lif3lessb0dy · 4 months ago

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₊˚⊹ ೀ lads boys; xavier & zayne

╰┈➤ headcanon/scenario; they saw how reader is struggling with her mental health

cw; self-harming(recovering), scars, depression in xavier's part, feeling not enough because of scars in zayne's part, cursing

a/n; if any of this topics is triggering you do not read! I kinda based some of this on my personal experience from the past so I did everything I could to make this accurate, if you feel like reading this will be harmful to your journey in any way feel free to skip it

i saw @chryssikyu 's post and decided that I can write something about it since I haven't found anything like that here.

╰┈➤ XAVIER!

you were a team so he could watch how your behavior is changing

he was really worried, he wanted to ask if everything is fine

he was headed straight to your apartment, prepared the questions in his head, he was afraid that it would seem awkward, you were just work partners after all

he knocked at your door

you opened but after you realized that it was xavier you just wanted to start crying again, you looked like a total mess, you didn't want to make him worry about you but it was too late

„can i... can i come in?” he asked quietly

„yeah, of course” you wiped your wet cheeks with your sleeve once again.

you were nervous asf

after some minutes of normal talk he wanted to just ask about his suspicions

you started crying and opened up about your recovery and depression episodes that lately hit you badly, you told him how you were feeling about your job, friends and life in general

he saw your old scars on thighs but didn't say anything, he waited to see if you would like to talk about it, he didn't want to force you to do this, especially now

you had such a bad mental breakdown that you have told him everything.

„(y/n) if you ever have such a bad time again that you want to return to self-harm, come to me. we don't even have to talk if you don't want to, if you ever feel like that again just come to me. or I will come to you, I don't want you to suffer in silence, it's not a shame to ask for help or support.” he looked at you „you are so much more than what you think, i don't want you to sit in the dark of your room crying and thinking you're useless, because you're not. I know you probably think my words are a joke, but I really... I really like you so I want you to be happy, I would do anything to make sure you don't experience these bad moments alone”

you didn't expect this. you expected disgust or laugh. why was he so nice and caring? in your eyes you were just a burden to him on a missions but he still cared about you.

„I also understand that you will need your alone moments, I just want you to know that you can count on me.” he gently grabbed your hand. „we're more than just a team, I care about you and wish you the best”

╰┈➤ ZAYNE!

it was your first date with him, you still couldn't believe that it was really happening

you wanted to dress nicely but after you saw yourself in the mirror you just started crying. no matter what dress or skirt you were wearing you still felt ugly. you felt like the scars on your body make you worse.

you called zayne and came up with some excuse just to stay at home. you really felt terrible, you just wanted to lay in bed all day and cry. you recently started therapy again because you knew that you were feeling worse and worse every day.

zayne knew that something was off. you were so excited, but suddenly you were sick and couldn't go? he knew that you were 100% healthy because he was your doctor after all, he didn't notice any signs of illness at yesterday's routine checkup

he decided to go to your apartment to see what was going on. he gently knocked and waited for an answer, after a while you opened the door.

„za-zayne?” he caught you off guard, you quickly pretended that you were coughing. „what are you doing here?”

„I wanted to examine you since you're not feeling well”

you felt guilty that you made him worry about you. you sighed and knew that you needed to tell him the truth.

„zayne... listen, i-i'm...” you started whispering.

„not sick?” he raised an eyebrow. „can I come in?”

you nodded twice. you felt embarrassed because of your lie.

„what's wrong, (y/n)? did something happen? or you just... didn't want to go? yo-you could tell me if you didn't want this date” he said calmly, almost like he thought that it's all because of pity towards him, well, he was the one who asked you out, he was worried that you agreed because you didn't want to make him feel bad

„no! i wanted it, but... it's really complicated” you avoided his gaze, not sure how to say what you were thinking. „since you're my doctor you know that...” you paused, your psychologist helped you learn how to talk about your feelings, but you were still afraid.

„know what?” he came closer and grabbed your hand. „don't be afraid, (y/n), you can tell me everything and I will not judge you” zayne said sincerely.

„do you think i'm worse than others because of my scars? do they make me ugly?” you looked straight into his eyes

„what?” he was completely shocked. „I have never thought like that and I never will. these scars are a sign of how much you've been through, that's the past, we can't change it, but we can do anything so you don't have to make new ones.” there was no insincerity in his gaze, only pure love. „I don't only care about how your body looks like, I see you as a wonderful, brave person who has a good heart. you're so pretty for me, some scars won't change it” he lifted your hand and gently pressed his lips against it.

„I wouldn't want people to start talking bad about you because of my...” he didn't let you finish, he cupped your face and ran his thumb over your lips.

„do you think I care about what they think when I have you by my side? you're a wonderful person, everyone admires how nice and helpful you are, often after you visit me in the hospital, people would talk about how beautiful you are, (y/n), let me show you how I see you, don't look at yourself like you're the worst piece of shit. i know it's not that easy, i'm glad you're continuing with therapy, and if there's anything i can do to show you how much i care about you – i will do it.”

#im going insane #love and deepspace #love and deepspace zayne #xavier love and deepspace #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace x reader #zayne love and deepspace #love and deepspace headcanons #love and deepspace scenario

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rheanyraaaa · 13 days ago

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broken pearls Robb Stark x Frey!Reader (oc inspired)

warnings: miscarriage, mentions of self-harming, mentions of past sexual assault and somewhat explicit, foul language.

side note: i’ve never watched GOT but i’ve watched my fair share of Robb Stark edits and have some understanding on what’s going on + have read lots of fanfic and done research so i can’t say this will seem super canon or make any sense.

this is my first time ever writing a fic on tumblr i hope you found it somewhat bearable (not proofread so might be so grammatical errors)

“whose heart is filled with love, God only loves that one person.”

summary: you miscarried recently, from stress of the war and Robb’s affair with Talisa. You thought it would stop after you married, but he still lays in her tent, now you’ve lost your baby. The one thing holding you together

You sit on the furs, on the floor by the fireplace, you thought married life to the Young Wolf would be kinder to you, you thought he’d show you things that you never got to understand, you were travelling with him, you were seeing more world then your father ever let you see. Yet somehow, despite the coldness of the Twins, you missed the halls, you missed your sisters and you missed the familiarity of it all.

Everyone here hates you, everyone here thinks little of you, despite being their Queen, you were practically a southerner after all, you could deal with the cold winds more then good enough, you could somewhat deal with the snares of the onlookers, and the looks of disgust. You didn’t get it, didn’t get why they had to do it, and you thought Robb would protect you from it.

It’s been a couple weeks since you spoke to him, you had argued, it was a big argument, you’d throw your whole jewellery box at him, you had gone hysterical mid fight, and probably threw a shoe at him at some point, he tried to calm you down, so did his mother, but you had spiralled. The words you said were unkind, blaming him for the death of his child was unkind. But you didn’t regret it, no you didn’t regret one word that came out of your usually sweet and nonchalant polite mouth, you had been waiting for a moment to break lose, and you felt like your father when you did. You felt like Walder Frey.

Everyone thinks your insane, and here you are sitting infront of the fireplace, on the furs, looking at how the red fire danced over the burning wood, they are probably right. Your eyes watery, red even, eye bags probably forming, but you couldn’t look away, something inside you was broken and has been broken for a long time, ever since you were fourteen, on a ambushed carriage, and three men deflowering you, each having their moment. You had told Robb this when you thought you could trust you, and he promised you he’d avenge you, but your sure he’s forgotten that promise now; sleeping in that bitches bed, no shame, you thought. She’s taken everything from you and you had every right to feel anger against her, she’s taken your husband, taken your mother in law, and is loved by the soldiers, while you are outcasted and considered as nothing less then the Frey wife.

You touch your now empty stomach, the baby that once thrived there all but gone, it was cold when Robb bedded you, but you liked the way he felt inside you, when he moved, or when you did, or the quiet noises he made, and the thin layer of sweat that covered you both, how he touched you, it seemed more respect then love, and after he made you cum he left the tent and probably went to tend to her. The baby was made out of fake love and duty no less, and died with no sympathy from the others.

Suddenly, the tent flap opened.

“Who’s there?” You asked, not looking from the fireplace, you knew it was him, the heavy boots against the floor made it obvious, the noise of the winds propelled outside and the loud clunking of metal armour made your dig your fingers into your side.

“mh, I want to speak to you,” His deep northern accent rumbled.

“Speak then, or do I have to order you to like a dog,” You grumble, picking at your nails, the fire light illuminating the scars over your wrists.

“She’s gone.” He said, his voice more quiet and soft then you’ve ever heard it.

“Who?” You ask, pretending to be uninterested.

“Talisa.” He spoke again, softly, You turn to look at him, trying not to show the slight joy you felt at never having to see her face.

“Finally. Did the winter chill finally kill her? or did a hint of water or rain burn the witch?” You rolled your eyes, and huffed as you continued picking your nails until they bleed.

“Enough. She’s not dead. I just sent her away from camp. My mother’s word not mine.” He growled, not looking away from you from one moment. “Why won’t you look at me?” He asked once more, as he stepped closer to where you sat.

“I might burn my eyes I’m afraid.” You chuckled coldly, before actually looking at him.

He chuckled quietly, “You have quite the mouth on your, my lady” He said beside you, looking directly at you, his knee touching yours.

“Why is she gone though?” You barely whispered, more sweetly and more calmly then you’ve ever spoken to him in a long time.

“She caused you pain. You are my wife and you are supposed to be my priority, but duty…. well the war and what I loved blinded me. I need to put you first, I was supposed to put you and the baby first. I’ve lost one I don’t want to lose the other.” He sounded… somewhat sad, but also filled with acceptance and much more mature then he was the last couple of months, he had care in his voice and it made you feel fuzzy.

“You’ve made me feel more than alone. Have you now realised whatever pain you’ve caused me? have you now seen the way you’ve treated me, or has your mother needed to coddle you and make you realise yourself?” You replied sharply, you didn’t want to forgive him so easily, you didn’t want him to think he won.

“My mother was always on your side, and I am truly sorry. I want to try this again, and properly, I want to show you love, and I want to allow you to experience such. You are beautiful, you are more radiant than the stars and the moon, and I want to show that to you.” He responded calmly, looking at you softly, all the gruff in his northern tongue seemingly gone, as he quietly took a strand of your hair and played with it. “You lost the baby and it was my fault. I did it. I want you to know that I accept it, and I always will carry it deep in my heart.” He rumbled on.

“But why did you do it in the first place? make me feel so much pain, I thought you’d be a good man.” You softly cried into the palm of your hands, they were red and sore from biting and ripping the skin.

He slowly crept closer to you, swiping your tears with his huge hands and playing with your hair, humming softly as he pulled you into his chest and let you cry into there instead.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry love.” He said over and over again like a prayer, as you snuggled into him, you hated that you cried infront of him and we’re all vulnerable, you promised you’d never let anyone get close to you but he was breaking all the barriers and you didn’t know how to handle it.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me now, nor anytime soon, but for now on I will sleep in your bed. It will be our bed. And if any man gives you one wrong look or one whisper about you then I will have his head on a spike.” He said more rougher then before, his palm stroking your back as you hid your face in there.

“And we will mourn our baby, properly.” His hand splayed across your now empty stomach. “I am here to do my duty of loving you and protecting you, I am doing my duty as King, and as your husband. I had forgotten my father’s teachings but I remember them now, my love.” He said into your ear, as he looked onto the fireplace, as you nodded slowly into his chest, you definitely hadn’t forgiven him completely yet, but he was understanding, and you knew that one day you were ready to forgive, he just needed to show he cared.

#robb stark x reader #robb stark x y/n #robb stark imagines #asoiaf #robb stark #i don’t know #robb stark x oc #robb stark x frey reader

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missblissy · 1 year ago

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Bitter

Summary: A little drabble that takes place after the events of the game. In an intimate moment, Astarion has feelings of disgust within himself, and can't help but break down, talking to you about how he feels in his own skin. You stay supportive and help him through it.

Warnings: mentions of sex/domestic trauma, and panic attacks, but no actual smut. :) Only angst. Just angst. :)))

A/N: Hey hey! This is my first Astarion X Reader! I have been sucked in and now I'm just another one of his girlies :') I used a GN!Tav with no mentions of race/class/gender whatsoever. I really wanted to explore Astarion's sexual trauma, how he deals with it, and how he feels about it. I like to think Astarion desperately wants to be whatever he thinks "normal" is, and that he has a lot of shame and pained feelings towards not being able to be whatever this "normal" is. So I wanted to give him some angsty love/hurt and comfort. Enjoy!

Bitter. Like sour brandy. A perpetuating ick that crawled with insect-hooked feet into his skin. The itchy pain of ghostly memories was hot on his flesh. The crawling and coiling were unconditional. The buzzing of past words, actions, and regrets all flooded his mind. His body moved with a mind of its own in a sheer thought of panic. Moving. Repulsed. Unwanted even. But it still happened. Bittering the moment, souring the taste in his mouth, clutching at his undead heart with a rage he didn’t know he had, so soft and subtle that it built like a breeze over the ocean, hitting him like a typhoon.

But no sign foretold that in the sudden jerk and pull back of his own hand from yours. No longer interlocked. The recoil of his body from instincts rather than thought or sound mind. How he fell away from you, not into you. Both surprised him, his internal rage, and his body betraying him. A breath hitched in his throat as he was pulled back to the dimly lit room of reality.

Where was he again...? His mind was foggy, far way, but yet still brim and bright with paranoia. Flush and festering with one too many distant memories.

“Star-bite?” Your voice was always soothing… Enough to pull him from his mind. The fog far from leaving his eyes traveled with ease across his face in the dark room. No light was needed for you to see that.

The honey worry in your words where enough for his eyes to meet yours despite his shame to look away. It pained him even more with the love welling in those sweet pearls and staring up at him with nothing but patience. Seemingly something he didn’t have. A tender hand lifted to his head, “Are you okay?” You asked. He flinched away. Again. Not even twice now in five minutes. You didn't pull back, however, but rather left your palm open with patience.

Astarion closed his eyes and leaned his cheek into your hand for only a second as he tried to ground himself. Self-hatred bubbled in him. Embarrassment. Shame. It was all the same feeling at this point and it was unbearable.

He sat up and back on his legs, no longer looming over you as the moonlight bathed him in a glow. Glossy with an otherworldly shine you stared up at him, skin exposed to the night. And watched as his shoulders fell with a deep sigh of frustration as he threw his hands to his face as if to hide while shaking his head, “I’m sorry-” He started. You slowly sat up as well, a blanket bathing over your own equally nude body in a half attempt to cover up.

“I’m sorry.” He said it again, “I.. I Don’t know what came over me,” He tried to laugh it off, the fact he blanked out, flinched from your very touch, and found himself disgusted even with the person he loved most. You understood… This was hard for him. Sex. Intimacy. Anything that related to his body. So you so desperately wanted to comfort him.

Which could be a hard thing to do sometimes. Despite that, you tried to reassure him. This wasn't the first time this has happened, “You don’t have to do this, It’s fine-”

“It’s not fine!” Astarion snipped with a whisper that could have been a scream, “I’m… not fine.”

Bitter. It was always bitter on his tongue even when he laughed like it was as sweet as syrup before it turned into wine, “I don’t want to be… like this,” His voice carried on as he gestured to his entire being, “Every time. Every single time it doesn’t matter how much you love me I still feel disgusted in my own skin and that’s not fine!” He finally snapped out with a subtle sob, “I want to be able to do more than look and love you from an arm’s reach without wanting to burn my bones and erase the memory of everything I’ve ever been through every time I’m simply just touched by another!”

There wasn’t an easy way to hide the pain on your face. The bitter truth. Even you knew it and it still stung fresher than a wasp’s stinger on a knuckle. No amount of love you gave Astarion could fix the damage done to him over two centuries of torment. No kind words, no simple nothings, or gestures could undo any of it. Nor erase it. Even dead, Cazador would always be with him.

Astarion’s voice picked up, another twisted, sad, and painful laugh, “It sickens me… It kills me,” He sighed, “That even no matter how much I love you, adore you, want you, and need you…” Silver-flowing tears trickled along his cheeks, flicking with faints of pink, betraying his true nature. A vampire’s bloody tears never lied. A sour sniffle sucked back up into his nose as he spoke again, “No matter how much I care I can’t be fixed. I’ll always fucking be like this!”

He felt so trapped in his own skin. Disgusted with his own body. Hateful towards the person he was forced to become and betrayed by the thought of the person he could have been. It was a bitter cycle. And to think… This all started as a lovely night. But Astarion could just add this to the long list of many other things he’s ruined.

You sat on your knees, scooting just an inch ever so closer, “Astarion?” You held out your hand for him, palm up, open and there for him to take if he wanted. And of course, he did, “You will always be broken.” His eyes shot open and he stared at you, surprised by your honest take, “But you will also always be loved and cared for even if you are broken,” You squeezed his hand lightly and gave a soft smile, “And I don’t mind that you’re broken,”

Something told him you were lying but Astarion knew better than to believe that. It didn’t stop his little scoff as he averted his red gaze, “Even if I can’t fuck you?” Bitter. It was in his voice, the way he spat the words and laughed by adding, “I know I’m supposed to be this amazing, beautiful, and skilled piece of work but I’m no-”

“You’re not supposed to be anything,” You softly interrupted him, knowing exactly where he was about to go with this tangent, “You’re only supposed to be whatever you want to be. Not what others have made you out to be.”

He still couldn’t meet your gaze, but you could see the doubt in his eyes and the subtle pout of frustration on his lips, “Even if I don’t know what I want to be?” He spoke more softly this time, like it was mostly to himself so he could finally speak it out loud, “... Or who I am?”

“Absolutely,” You promised him. It broke your heart every time he had these moments, how hurt and torn he must feel inside you could only imagine. You leaned a little closer, enough to still give him his space, “I’m not with you for the sex, Astarion, it was never about the sex. So I could go the rest of my life waiting, or not waiting, or simply just being there,” You reached up and cupped his cheek again and pulled ever so gently to get him to meet your gaze, “You… Do. Not… have to have sex with me to keep me to stay with you,” A little glimmer in your eye sparked with affection, "I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it, you are enough just as yourself. And I'll say it forever, I love you for you, and that includes even when stuff like this happens."

That got the littlest smile out of him. He brushed his cheek deeper into your palm and found himself even leaning into your embrace, “You know I want to,” He huffed, “I just don’t think… I can… not without this feeling being there, that is," It was still bitter. He closed his eyes, head resting by your shoulder, nearly hiding in the crook of your neck, “I don’t want to be this way. It’s like I'm not even free. Like my time in the sun was worth nothing in the long wrong,” He quickly looked up at you and corrected himself, “I know that’s not true,” A bitter smile, “It just feels that way, sometimes,”

Your smile, bitter too, but sweet, with a sad nuzzle of your nose against his in a loving and comforting gesture, “I know, Star-bite,” Then a little kiss to his nose for reassurance, “But this,” And a tight squeeze of his hand, referring to just this simple act alone as you spoke, “You can do. And this is more than enough,”

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion ancunin #angst #bg3 fanfiction #fanfic #pale elf #bg3 astarion #haha not me writing my first fic in YEARS #hahaaaa #aaaa #:)#no body look at me im in my feels #I just need some astarion angst to heal me its fine

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merakiui · 8 months ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/merakiui/744520913494671360/azul-who-was-spoiled-as-a-child-so-he-believes?source=share

Mera are you not going to elaborate 👀 on how,,,, absolutely entitled tako would be with his not so subtle complex and also riddle who deserves this okay? This is all he's truly ever wanted and by golly he will see it through to the end! He can get through any trial or tribulation so long as he can put it in you

And ofc the tweels are soooooo sex brained that ur opinion doesnt even matter, they dont even have to justifying themselves bc there is no justifying- they want you? They got you!

ACTUALLY........ now that you say this, my thoughts can be expressed more succinctly!!!!!

(cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, non-con, brief mention of slut-shaming, obsession, everyone is just really horrible here)

Azul's mother and stepfather who know their son could do no wrong, so they're shocked and appalled when you start accusing him of something so disgusting. How dare you accuse him of such a horrible crime! He would never! Your parent(s) sits down with the Ashengrottos to discuss and hopefully smooth things over. Azul is so sickeningly sweet and cordial throughout the entire thing while you look scared out of your skin. You insist he's lying, that you're telling the truth, that this is what happened. But then his stepfather threatens to take the matter to court. He knows the law. In the end, you're forced to drop it because your family can't afford a trial right now.

On your way out, Azul smiles at you. Even at twenty-something, he's still their spoiled brat. So entitled! Because he got everything he could ever want from his mother when he was a child, he automatically assumes he'll have you without any problems. But you just had to reject him in elementary. You just had to make a fool out of him in front of the class. It's your fault he couldn't have the one thing he's always wanted. But now he's so much better than his past self, and this time he's not taking no for an answer.

I think it would be a similar situation with Riddle. His mother refuses to believe her son could do any wrong, and the fact that you—some slut who shouldn't be near her Riddle to begin with—have the gall to throw around such wild accusations... You must have been raised so poorly to forgo basic manners and social etiquette. Riddle apologizes profusely for causing such trouble, but his story isn't the truth. You watch him lie to his mother's face and she believes him because he's Riddle Rosehearts, the paragon of pristine perfection. Of course if you and your parent(s) continue to press the matter, Mrs. Rosehearts will threaten to sue and when you're up against the Queendom of Roses's most renowned magical doctor with her prodigious son who could never do any wrong... Surely it's impossible from the start.

Riddle does feel bad. Somewhat. Deep down he knows it's wrong, but he's never had anything special before. Everything has always been chosen for him. He's never had friends. He's never had any hobbies. He's never had a life. And when he saw how radiantly you would shine while passing through campus with your group of friends, he just had to have you. You're like those forbidden strawberry tarts from his youth. He knows it's bad, but he can't help wanting to indulge even if it breaks rules. He's been so good. Surely he's allowed one treat! If it makes you feel any better, he was just as anxious as you were when he mixed that stuff into your drink.

And the twins... oh, the twins. >_< terrible. Their mother babies them incessantly. In canon, it's noted that she tends to call them frequently (nearly every day) because she worries. So she absolutely spoils them rotten. Those are her babies; of course she will! Papa Leech is just as adoring, I'm certain, but then I feel like his love is more of a "tough love" type. In any case, the twins won't accept the word no because they're so used to just getting things. Those sturgeon scales they proudly wear? Those were won through a fight. They want and then they take. It's simple.

So the fact that you'd tell either of them no... Unheard of. All of Floyd's smiley pretenses drop when you reject him. Jade can keep up his own placidity, if only to give you another chance so that you won't whine about how unfair it was in the aftermath: "Would you like to think more carefully about your decision?"

Whatever happens, you can't say or do anything. No one's going to speak ill against the Leech family. They can't. That's just how it is.

#twisted chit chat #tw: noncon

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heartfullofleeches · 2 years ago

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Healer Reader + Submissive Yandere Blurb

Warning: Suggestive, Spit, mentions of injury/self harm

A knock on your door sounds just after twelve. You run a small clinic through the comforts of your own home, patients coming in and out the door like flies. A gift bestowed upon at birth lead to this occupation; the power to heal even the most fatal of injuries with a single drop of your blood.

You unlock and open the front door, unsurprised at the shivering figure on your step. They were your most frequent visitor. It was almost nice to see them back sometimes; a confirmation that thoughts you sent back out into the world could survive on their own, but the damage dealt to their body washed away that selfish thought completely. There they stand; covered in bruises and cuts- just like every other time they've come.

"Evening."

The sound of your voice always gives them a chill. The euphoria of being in the presence of their beloved; along with the fear that you'll someday figure out their sinful crimes of passion.

"H-hey...."

"Are you going to tell me what happened this time?"

No response. You usher them inside.

"Come on."

You prepare a cup of tea while you retrieve your supplies. Your patient takes the cup with hesitant grip, knowing that some day in the past your lips touched the rim of their mug. They take a few small sips as you take a needle from your kit; sterilizing it with an alcohol swab. Their mouth becomes dry despite the soothing liquid that travels down their throat; lips parched for a more soul filling kind of thirst.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"I remember one time... You said that any fluid of yours can heal a person?"

You pause, needle poking the flesh of your thumb as you beckon for their cup, holding your bloody finger over it. "Yeah."

They swallow hard, eyes trained on your lips as you lick your thumb clean; saliva clung to your fingers. The taste of your blood was sweet enough, but just like anyone with an addiction; they craved more.

"Can... can you use your spit?"

You set the needle down; unsure of what you just heard. "What?"

"I... want you to spit on me. My mouth.... if that's not to much to ask."

You think for a moment; obviously off put by the request, but seeing your own goals beneath it as well.

"If I do this, do you promise to take better care of yourself?"

They nod.

"...Alright."

You round the table, lifting their head up by their jaw. They open their mouth, tongue hanging free as you part your lips. You build up a wod of spit, looking them in the eyes before allowing it to fall on their outstretched muscle. They flinch as the liquid makes contact, mixing with their own saliva as they roll it back on their tongue. It melts against the walls of their mouth, healing the wounds on the outer layer and traveling through the rest of their body to heal every other affliction.

The patient digs their nails into their forearm, prolonging the healing process as they tear off small chunks of their skin. Shameful bliss fills them from the faint disgust in your eyes, and the feeling of your influence spreading through their entire being. For good measure, you spit directly down the back of their throat, earning a lustful moan from the mess of a creature.

"Satisfied?" You ask, wiping the trail of wetness off your mouth.

They nod, licking the corners of their mouth were your fingers once were. "Very."

#Suggestive #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere headcanons #yandere insert #yandere x you #yandere blurb #yandere x darling #yandere x y/n #sub yandere #tw yandere #yandere writing

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xoxomoonlightxoxo · 10 months ago

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Don't Get Attached | Part 5

➪ Playlist (Spotify)

➪ W/c: 2398

Remind Me Why We're Taking a Break?

As the warm beams of sunlight scatter on my exposed skin, I melt deeper into the soft duvet before his grip tightens around my waist. And by his, I mean Jungkook. And by Jungkook, I mean the guy I promised myself to not get attached to. Way to go y/n, you really pulled through with that one … But, I swear, one minute we were just talking and then the next, his chains were dangling on top of me. In short, I blame the alcohol.

Nonetheless, the damage was done and now, I have to pay the price by swallowing down whatever is left of my dignity before doing the infamous walk of shame towards the kitchen. At this point, I don’t even know where half my clothes are, which is concerning because I wasn’t wearing much to begin with. So, Jungkook’s white button-up would have to suffice for my little trip. Tiptoeing towards the fridge, I’m careful not to wake Koo’s sleepy head, before exhaling a deep sigh at the depressing sight of his empty fridge. How does one live off of beer, shredded mozzarella and strawberry milk? Moreover, how does one stay so fit and toned while indulging in such a bizarre nutritional palette? Beats me.

Scanning the top shelf, I audibly gasped out of relief upon seeing a carton of eggs, even if there were only four left. Challenge accepted, Koo. In no time, I was oiling the pan while whisking some milk into the yellow, homogeneous mixture seasoned with some pepper, salt, and dried parsley.

[Narrator's POV]

Stretching his body, Jungkook is saddened by the empty space beside him. Tracing his steps back to you, his half-awakened self follows the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. No one has ever cooked for him. Or, at least, not out of their own intentions or desire. Thus, to him, your gesture is unfamiliar, but deep down, greatly craved.

Focusing his softened gaze on your body, he takes a moment to admire the way his button-up cuts off right at your thighs. Although smirking at the sight, he isn’t too pleased by the fact that the rest of your body is still covered. Not enough exposure for his liking. If it was up to him, he would have you right there on the countertop, pretty whimpers bouncing off the walls.

“Morning gorgeous,” Jungkook whispers into your ear, pulling your body closer to his bare chest. Leaving traces of soft kisses on your neck, his veiny hands intertwined with yours before pinning your body against the counter shelves. Now face to face, the space between you two has become less apparent, tension rising at the way your forms mould into one singularity.

[Y/N's POV]

“Koo,” I whine into the needy kiss, eyes searching his darkened orbs.

“Yes, baby?” he replies in a raspy tone. I didn't think someone's morning voice could have such a chokehold on me, but Jungkook's is definitely doing something. Please y/n, focus.

“Koo, we can't keep doing this,” I manage to let out.

“Doing what?”

“You know, ignoring the elephant in the room?” my tone is firm but shaky. Nonetheless, I mean business, so my eyes maintain focus on his hooded gaze despite the suffocating tension between us.

“Well, it's not my fault your thighs got me all horny, but I think I'm managing just fine,” he says with a grin, looking down at his grey sweatpants.

“Quite literally, I hope you trip down the stairs and never recover,” I scoff, rolling my eyes at his teasing before pushing his hands off of me. I swear Jungkook is the epitome of a man-child, not one fibre of his being has the potential of being serious. Disgusting. Pushing past his broad shoulders I manage to get a few steps in before being pulled back on his lap as his doe eyes sparkle under the kitchen lights.

“I'm sorry y/n, what did you actually mean?” he says with a slight chuckle, moving a few hair stands out of my flustered face.

“Well, we can't just pretend like nothing happened. You cheated, Koo …” I explain softly, nibbling on my lip as the nerves kick in. Jungkook knows he messed up. He might not be in tune with his own feelings but he does care about mine. Or at least, I thought. Nonetheless, I could tell the topic made him backtrack his own thoughts, taking the time to formulate something morally acceptable.

“Y/n, that didn’t mean anything to me. It was a mistake, I promise,” he explains, gentle with his touch as his hand caresses my exposed thighs which are now covered in goosebumps.

“Your mistake hurt. A lot.”

“What do you want y/n?” he asks hushly, tightening his grip on my waist as our bodies inch closer. Noticing my scattering eyes and furrowed eyebrows, his gaze softens.

“A break. We need a break.” I whisper, feeling my throat slowly tighten. I don’t want a break. But, I also don’t want to simply sweep this under the carpet. If Jungkook truly cares, he will understand where I’m coming from. If he doesn’t, well, then I guess, we were never meant to be.

“Is that what you really want?” he replies with a soft smile, our faces, now inches away from each other.

“Yes,” I manage to let out, eyes lowering to our intertwined hands as his thumb caresses my skin.

“Break it is,” Jungkook whispers, leaning in to place a soft kiss on my forehead before locking his eyes with mine for the last time. It hurts. It genuinely hurts. Why does he suddenly have to be so sweet and sincere?

“JEON FUCKING JUNGKOOK,” I yell out from his room upon seeing the plethora of notifications popping up on my phone. I guess it died last night because I didn’t hear any of them, and quite frankly, was too occupied with Jungkook, if you know what I mean.

“It better be something really serious for you to use my full government name,” he chuckles, rushing into the room with strawberry milk in one hand and an apple in the other.

“It’s Bomi and Jason’s wedding tomorrow, I completely forgot,” I whine, burying my face into his pillow as hopeless whimpers leave my mouth. Bomi and I are high school friends and Jungkook is Jason’s personal trainer. I was kindly asked to be one of her bride’s maids and naturally, Jungkook was supposed to be my plus one. But, the problem or should I say problems, is that 1) I am not ready at all and 2) Jungkook and I are technically now on break.

“Well, don’t look at me. You’re the brains here, I just do what you tell me to do,” he replies with a grin before plopping himself beside my distressed self. Scratch everything I said about his sincerity before. I meant none of that. Jungkook is still a man-child.

“Okay, then listen to me when I tell you to drive me home, immediately. I still need to figure out what to wear,” I sigh, shaking my head in disbelief. How could I forget? I was so caught up in the whole cheating scandal that I almost missed my best friend’s wedding. Way to not get attached y/n!

Finding my dress under Jungkook’s pile of boxers, I quickly change out of his button-up, feeling his gaze on my exposed figure. Eyeing his favorite view up and down, he leans his head back before letting out a deep sigh.

“You know, we never discussed the length of this break …”

- -

Softening my curls, I touch up my makeup before rushing out the door hearing Jungkook send a few honks upon arriving at the entrance. Initially, I was going to just take a taxi, but he insisted on driving us. None of our friends know about our little break, so the least we could do is act the part. Suited up, Jungkook looks very put together, handsome even. And, as our eyes meet, his gaze softens, opening the passenger door.

“Thank you,” I say hushly, as he leans in closer to buckle my seatbelt before turning his face towards mine. Lips inches apart, I can feel the flush rising up my cheeks. He is such a tease it’s physically unbearable. Nibbling on his lip ring, Jungkook takes a moment to appreciate the way the dress pushes up my cleavage, reminiscing all those times his hands did the same.

“What?”

“Nothing, just admiring the view,”

“Oh, yeah? Well, how is it?” I tease back, tilting my head as my hands slowly slide up to his neck, intertwining in his curls.

“Irresistible, I fear,” he whispers softly into my ear, nibbling on the soft skin before his hooded eyes search mine. This will be really fun, I can just feel it. Not only are we lying to each other, but now, we are also lying to our friends.

- -

“Y/n! Jungkook! You guys made it!” Jason greets us with a big smile, pulling Jungkook into a tight hug. Fixing my dress, I stand awkwardly to the side, admiring the beautiful setup. It's exactly how Bomi envisioned it, as hues of gold and white paint every inch of the hall.

“Y/n, how have you been? Bomi was worried about you,” Jason’s voice brings me back to reality as I divert my attention to the two buddies.

“I'm good, no need to worry, just got caught up in some things,” I explained with a soft smile, peaking at Jungkook’s nervous hands. It's gonna be a long night of pulling various excuses out of thin air before we can go back to our established break. Buckle up y/n.

Taking my purse Jungkook and I separate ways as he heads to the seating area while I help Bomi with her last-minute touch-ups.

“Bomi, you look so ethereal,” I say softly, in complete awe of the beauty standing in front of me. Jason is one lucky man, let me tell you. She has recently chopped off her hair as a symbol of letting go of the past. An impulsive decision at first that ended up serving her right as she now looks better than ever.

“You really think so?” Bomi replies nervously, eyes swelled with tears as I fix her veil.

“I know so, love,”

- -

As the venue doors open, guests turn their attention towards the adorable flower girl, Bomi’s little sister, Bae. Trying her best to not trip, she leaves behind a trail of pink rose petals before running towards Bomi’s warm embrace, embarrassed by the sudden rush of attention. And, as the pianist begins her cue, the bride’s maids make their way down the floral aisle. Feeling my eyes swell with tears, I focus on some deep breathing before spotting Jungkook in the sea of people, noticing his gaze soften as my chest heaves up. Something about him calms me down. Maybe, it was his smile, or maybe, his doe eyes that followed my every move, making sure I got to my spot safely before finally allowing his body to relax in his seat.

After the vows and the tearful I do’s it was time to take pictures, as Bomi, Jason and their photographers navigated everyone out to the beautiful scenery by the beach. Standing beside Bomi, we intertwine our hands, exchanging soft smiles before the photographer tells everyone to scooch in closer, wanting to capture the breathtaking sunset behind us.

“Jungkook, get in here,” Jason yells out, motioning him to stand beside me. Holding my purse, Jungkook waves his hands with a nervous chuckle, initially declining the offer before being commanded by the photographer to do so immediately. Nodding a quick yes, he rushes towards my stiff body. Sensing my discomfort he maintains a slight gap between us, knowing dam well that’s the last thing he wants right now. But, none of it matters, because we are on a break remember? So, he gulps down his sinful desires, body remaining craving my touch.

“Sorry, but could the gentlemen in the middle move closer?” the photographer says, finger pointing towards Jungkook, whose eyes lower to mine searching for permission before I give him a slight nod. Careful with his touch, he places his hands on my waist, grip tightening as our bodies inch closer. Feeling his breath on my neck, there’s virtually no room for me to move, remaining enclosed by his broad shoulders.

“It would be in your best intention to stop moving y/n,” he whispers into my ear as I manage a slight shuffle in place, feeling the bulge in his pants rub against my lower back.

“I can’t, you're basically in my ass,” I snap hushly, looking up at his hooded eyes.

“Don’t do that,”

“Do what?”

“Don’t give me ideas,” he grins, leaning closer before placing a soft kiss on my shoulder. You know, the devil works hard but I swear, Jungkook works harder.

- -

“One, two, three, go!” everyone counted down, as cheers and applause filled the hall once Bomi threw her bouquet. I swear, it’s as if the scene played out in slow motion. From crying children, to drunk uncles, everyone played a role in this mess. I was no exception, of course, running towards the circle of bride’s maids whose arms reached out towards the incoming bundle of pink flowers. Although I wasn’t there for the bouquet, it somehow found its way to me, landing perfectly in my trembling arms. And, just like that, I was now encircled by words of cheers, best wishes and congratulations being shouted at my flustered face.

Searching the crowd for Jungkook, I find him standing by one of the paintings with his tie undone, balancing two glasses of champagne in one hand.

“Well, I guess I’m next,” I chuckle, waving the flowers in front of him, feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Does this mean our break is over?” he grins, pulling my body closer to his before leaning into a needy kiss. This time, however, I didn't fight back. Giving in to the suppressed desires as my hands intertwine in his dishevelled hair before looking back at his darkened eyes.

“We can always begin again … some other time … in the near future,” I whisper, tracing little hearts on Jungkook’s burning chest, feeling him smile into the kiss.

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mizz-sea-nymph · 9 months ago

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Attention: if you are not @hebemina then I advise you don’t respond to this cause just by that you’ll embarrass yourself by proving my points and being literal proof.

Id like to say that me and her where friends but during the time we where friends she had her weird moments and her alright moments especially when we first met, it wasn’t her acting like the adult it was me, funnily enough I started referring to her as a sister cause that’s what I do when I worry about how a person views me, it was clear I was uncomfortable and got my friend who remember the first encounter and how I reacted to this ask a while back, hell I even asked them how to respond to the ask cause I was in such a panic. When looking at it, I’m genuinely disgusted how she didn’t even apologise or better herself, everyone keeps saying she’s better but she isn’t and it’s really sad how harmful it is especially to the people she spoke with that she made uncomfortable.

(She was drunk and I was mortified and didn’t even know how to respond so I danced around it I’ll admit that but thing is she didn’t even apologize)

Now it’s hard to show this from the past cause of personal stuff but since some people already know about it I guess I just gotta grow some balls. I’m showing this from the past cause I came across it a while ago and got disgusted, I was a child and I was mortified so much so I asked my friends how to respond to it and was so ashamed and embarssed I thought I deleted this but luckily didn’t cause one can realize how horrid this is. What’s funny is a DECENT AND SENSITIVE AND CARING PERSON would apologise! You never apologized Mina! and this wasn’t the first time you got weird with me! Seriously! Atleast have the decency to say sorry! But not just this you’ve many times turned our platonic and happy convos to something straight up weird, I ended up deleting many on my blog cause of unlike you I feel embarrassed!

I went through a hard year and having someone like this disturb me online was the icing on the cake but of course I was too embarssed and scared to say anything about it cause I feared I’d be yelled at, by your followers, yeah allot of you made me not even want to stand up for myself and say “what you are doing is rubbing me the wrong way” despite her knowing my age, and despite me reminding her constantly at that time I kept saying “haha I’m in high school”. So to the people reading this, dont make her seem like she Dosent know the age of her followers cause she lurks, she lurks around even accounts she has now ignored just cause said acount has a different opinion then her.

Thought I didn’t notice? I easily noticed how you and @hanaiikiki or whatever TF her name is now stopped talking to me as a whole and started ignoring my existence, even when I was geniunely trying to be nice etc, you stopped when I voiced my opinion about Loki, Hana going as far as telling people she Dosent know me (girl I got ears everywhere, when I heard this I was shocked cause I thought we where good!) despite me clearly stating as a continuation I don’t care what anyone likes and Dosent like it’s the VICTIM BLAMING, that’s wrong and also rly weird. So I don’t understand why both of you would let a fictional character come between a nice mutual friendship, especially you Hana I geniunely liked talking to you I liked talking mythology and liked sending you asks, you where really nice and kind with me and didn’t weird me out like Mina but it’s clear you have no self identity what so ever. But of course, no worries! I have no need for you! I know who my people are and aren’t and you aren’t one of em that’s for sure. As for Mina, yeesh girl yeesh that’s all I got when it comes to this, cause again no self respect self shame or friendship is magic in this case, but then again you’re no use of me either so I’ll say I’m glad you don’t speak to me anymore cause you creeped me out many times :)

just cause someone hides behind a cute kind persona dose not always mean that’s what they are on the inside dishonesty is sm. I’m honestly so dissapointed so many here defend her and say she’s changed instead of her saying she has, let her speak for herself if she’s so much so as the adult she claims to be.Let her speak cause I’m amazed how everyone walks eggshells around her cause she’s “sensitive” that is a insult to sensitive people as a whole.

I’m not going to mention who cause I want them to rest easy cause they are dear to me and what they experienced today breaks my heart they’re so sweet and didn’t deserve any of this, but when Mina apologized to them, Mina used the excuse of “I didn’t know you where a minor” despite her MENTONING THEIR AGE! Everyone knows people that know what they’re doing use that excuse, they lie, they will always go with this excuse, don’t get offended and stop reading now Mina I ain’t calling you a pedo, I’m calling you a dumbass, a real big dumbass as a whole for that shit apology and excuse. A victim of harassment Dosent deserve this, and a “sorry” dose not make up for the trauma the victim suffered let alone this type of “sorry”.

(I’m covering the name cause I rly feel bad for who experienced this and believe the poor thing has experienced enough today of all days like good god I don’t even want anyone to comfort me I’m fine! Just show some support and love to this victim cause good god)

there’s a line with senstivity and irresponsibility, and if it weren’t for me sending a respectful i REPEAT a respectful I’m a respectful person that’s how my mama raised me, anon ask saying you shouldn’t interact with minors much cause they’re easy to influenced and they see what you post easily etc etc, the useless “minors do not interact” wouldn’t be there. Oh and it’s hilarious how you have it there and still interact with said minors? Sweetie? It’s not there for show! Lotus? Heldril? Goddamm new comers? Children copy and children get affected! And you’ve clearly traumatized and affected a bunch! If you’re a so called elderly care giver you should know how to care for others that aren’t just you, make it make sense!

Oh and let’s not leave this out the cake. It’s funny how you talk about masturbating in public and how you vent in public, letting literally people who are younger than you be your therapist, or witness you sexting IN PUBLIC keep it in the dms woman! have so shame! This isn’t red lobster you embarrassing yourself! I ain’t slut shaming you cause I’m the queen of sluts, I’ve been called a slut for years and I didn’t even know about it so don’t think I’m slut shaming you. But really How wonderful really! A nurse! Who gose through the struggle of whipping elderly asses for a living! Doesn’t go to a therapist and relays on people decades younger than her! Get a damm therapist! Be ashamed! Seriously take some responsibility!

Not to mention I still remember how people expressed geniune concern for you and you milked it and said “see you on the other side” who says that! I was one of those people! I actually worried? But I woke up and realized what the fuck is this? Are you serious??? Some of these people who are worried for you are younger by years?? Some even minors?! Get a grip??! Where’s the responsibility?? It’d be better to write about your horny thoughts on a blog strictly for NSFW! I deadass told you to in the anon ask cause you need to be responsible! And dont you dare post a “im sorry 🥺” post! I know your type and I know them well! Just by that post where you explained yourself about the whole issue of you saying you want to make out with a minor, says allot. You didn’t address the issue! You just said it’s okay to hate you! You didn’t even defend yourself! Well for one Mina, I don’t hate you, I just hate the way you act,behave and your personality as a whole because that “sorry” will never cut the anxiety and horrible memory as a whole, be ashamed a bit, it’s not funny to make everything sexual and as a adult you should understand that.

What you did to those mods and roleplayers? I’m still speechless and have Vietnam flashbacks when it comes to the public sexting good god, atleast as if it’s okay to do NSFW and sent a literal pic of you bust? I know dirty I’m the QUEEN of dirty that hand on your top pulling the shirt a little lower shocked me so much my eyebrows left to Saturn and had a baby with the planet! I’ve got eyebrow planet grandkids now that’s how shocked I was. Not to mention the mod was 19 you are literally a decade older girl- tf is this lore Olympus? I know you like lore Olympus but girl lore Olympus is lowkey shit no offence. Honestly no wonder the mod stopped roleplaying and deleted the acounts cause good god girl- atleast have the decency to ask?

It’s really funny! Just a big joke really!

I for one was a friend with yo!u until I realized your true colors, I’m disappointed and consider this pathetic. I used to think you were nice and kind but I was met with dissapointment you genuinely disappointed me, hurt me and not only me but many others, don’t beat yourself about it just accept the fact that you did and just remove yourself from said minors and ACTUALLY BE RESPONSIBLE, before you hurt even more people.

As for the ones reading this,

You all know me and I’m pretty sure this is shocking seeing me a person here on tumblr call out the so called sweet Mina but honestly, people! nobodies perfect! Are you kidding me?? Get it through your skulls! She isn’t perfect and I’m not saying to hate her I’m saying to stop treating her like a child! when actual children here are being harmed! I’ve seen minors on here who deadass have been affected by her! And nobody I say nobody! don’t you dare say she didn’t know what she was doing that’s a insult to the victims and disgusting in general.

Also it’s not the ror fandom that’s changing, this has nothing to do with ror, to anyone reading this know this, it’s the Mina fandom that’s changing, not the ror fandom I’ve been in the ror community long before her and if sm was changing I’d know.

I’m deadass saying this despite me being a decade younger then Mina, I’m not saying this as a friend, not as a friend cause I don’t see you as that anymore and will never will ever again, im saying this as a person who’s going to be honest with you,

Keep it real

Enough of this self cantered,narcissistic ,immature, shameful,irresponsible and selfish behavior, you should be able to expect opinions like this, stop hiding behind your followers and say what you have in mind Mina and DONT dance around the issue, I read your “apology” post when the Heldirl issue raised to light, you didn’t even talk about the issue in hand, you just said it’s okay to hate you! Three paragraphs!! don’t dance around this, and you know what, Don’t even respond if you plan on doing that, cause that just proves the point.

Just know I don’t respect you not just cause of you being weird in the past with me but also with others specifically others I care about, so don’t come crying to me cause I geniunely don’t care I know these types of etiquettes, a sorry will never cut shit like I said so call me a cruel bitch idc ig it’s fair 🤷🏻‍♀️ just know I DONT respect you one bit,good day.

Tagging

@amphitriteswife @tinyy-tea-cup @mono-supports-palestine @praisethesuuun @riseofamoonycake @brokensenseofhumor @monstertreden @heldril @lotusmybeloved @nicasdreamer @ idk

idk who tf else to tag aaaa 💀 but yeah that’s my take on all of this respect me hate me I don’t care I rather be hated for who tf I am then who I pretend to be and who I am is a person to keeps it real 🤨

#ror #snv #idk what to tag 🧍‍♀️

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rainbowmothed · 8 months ago

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a collection of angsty quotes that reminded me of vaggie. inspired by @ lookinginsidemymind on tiktok.

“i think i was born to sting,”

but i don't mean to.”

“im not a violent dog. i dont know why i bite”

“how the absence of someone can feel like the absence of myself.”

“wish you were here. you could tell me what to do.”

“i am angry, i am unlovable. i am mostly afraid those things are true.”

“please stop yelling at me please scratch my back please stick up for me in a conversation i am listening to from the top of the stairs. you are my girlfriend, act like it”

“i wear the army's anger like a hand-me-down. the hotel says it does not look good on me”

“i do not know how to love something without sinking my teeth into it”

“i am the girl screaming. i am also the girl begging to not be screamed at.”

“what if i become angry like my past self. what if i already have?”

“i would do anything to become someone worth keeping around”

“why are you running away?”

“i must search every corner of the world to search for the girl i once was. to get rid of her, once and for all”

“i am so adam's top girl it hurts. can you tell?”

“i love you.”

“sometimes, i think love and violence are the same”

“if my past was a tooth, id tie a string around it and slam the door on those memories.”

“but it is not. i cannot.”

“i am flying way too close to the sun and id like to say the heat burning my skin makes me feel alive but i really just want the blisters to prove ive been hurt”

“i am messy. everything i let go of has claw marks. i am stubborn. i have never met a hill i wouldn't die on”

“i've been holding onto this grief so long it feels as familiar as the turns into my neighborhood when i've fallen asleep in the car.”

“i want to wake up now. i want to let it go”

“how could i forget? does the tree forget the axe?”

“i stuffed myself into this cocoon. now i beg for transformation”

“thank you for putting flowers in my messy room im sorry for making you mad at me i didn't mean to but unfortunately there's something wrong with me”

“im trying my best im trying my best that's all i can do”

“sometimes this girl's best is judging everyone else to distract herself from the fact that she hates herself more than she could ever hate anything else”

“i love like a dog. not in the cute, fluffy way; in the discarded, disgusting mutt way. i whine for any scraps of affection i am given”

“sometimes, you are so accustomed to hate you cannot fathom love. you reject it.”

“i don't think my creator knows my favorite color. or my birthday.”

“i wish i could look at myself in the mirror without crying”

“i love you with what in me is unfinished; i love you with what in me is still changing”

“someday i will sail away from the shame i carry. for now, i am merely a passenger”

“you're holding onto something that doesn't exist anymore”

“unclench your fists.”

“this grief isnt tangible but oh god how i can feel it”

“this is an automated message, please don't reply. we are calling in regard to your father”

“we mean your creator. we mean the man that raised you. we mean the man that said he raised you.”

“sorry, we dont know what we mean, because you don't know what we mean”

“we apologize for any miswording. we apologize the way they will never apologize. when will you accept that?”

“sometimes i dont want to get better just to show you how bad it was”

“i am afraid that if i open myself i will not be able to stop pouring. why do i fear becoming a river? what mountain gave me such shame?”

“you keep asking if i would die for you. i keep asking why you want me dead”

“good enough to grab. they always put me back, though. 🐟”

“im sorry for saying sorry”

#vaggie #hazbin vaggie #hazbin angst #hazbin hotel angst #hazbin hotel #vivziepop #hellaverse #lesbian #chaggie #chaggie angst??#fallenwings #lute x vaggie but they're exes #vaggie angst #sad thoughts #poetry #hazbin poetry #moth's hazbin poetry

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hereticdrws · 8 months ago

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Aquarium date w mizu

A/n: did I just narrate my visit at the aquarium and add mizu? Possibly did I use quotes from me and my sister? Also maybe anygays I hope yall enjoy ☺️🤞 should I write a real fic w this? I alr got 1 in the works cough cough baseball mizu

Warnings: NOT PROOF READ idk I don't think there r any but lemme know if there r

Loser!Mizu x (masc?) Reader I tried to make it v neutral but I kinda self projected

Enjoy 😉

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

◇Def spends wayyyy to long on parking trying to find the perfect spot no matter how many times she's been

◇Tells you the scientific names of all the fish on the banners on the way in that are used to attract visitors

◇Tells you every fish related joke she knows while waiting in line to get in

◇Cannot stand up straight in the line to save her life she has to lean (but I mean who tf doesn't why tf would I stand up str8 when I can lean)

◇Tries to convince u to let her bring a fish home (you're not even allowed to)

◇Took 1000 pics of the baby penguins

◇(Also asked to take one home)

◇Does not shut up abt the smell

◇Says every cute thing in the exhibit looks like you

Ex:

After walking past the toucan exhibit we make our way toward the baby monkeys per mizus request, walking hand in hand and shoulder to well head because lord knows mizu is tall as shit.

Once we arrive at the monkey exhibit for the first time since arriving mizu releases her hand from yours

"Omg babe it looks just like you!" She eagerly points out

"It does??" You raise an eyebrow at the 5'7 woman towering you, questioning her ecstatic expression

"Yeah!!"

◇Tried to provoke the toucan

"OMG Y/N ITS THE BIRD FROM THE MEME" spends at least 15 minutes trying to find the meme

◇Made you carry her hoodie bc it was so humid

"Babe I told you not to bring it 🙄"

"I thought it'd be cold ☹️"

"Why are there only birds I hate birds"

"Because we're in the bird exhibit babe 😐"

"oh"

◇Pouts when she can't find the animal in the exhibit

"Babe did you know poison dart frogs are poisonous?"

Dies

"Babe stop ☹️"

◇Stuck her hand in the water 'bcuz she can'

"I bet I could survive that jump"

"No tf you wouldnt?"

◇You had to pay for the slushies bc she forgot her wallet (which she definitely owns) ((she doesn't own a wallet))

"BABE THERES FUCKING CROCODILES"

"Dude there's a kid right nxt 2 u"

"Babe wtf"

"What"

"Your mouth looks like a traffic cone"

☹️

◇Constantly asked what would happen if she threw smthing at an animal

Ex:

"What I'd I threw my slushie at the crocodile"

"I'll disown you"

◇Looks in disgust at all the babies and children

◇I cannot express how much she'd compare you to ever cute animal in the exhibit

◇Leans into u when she gets bored like srsly u are supporting this woman's entire body weight

◇Do not forget how CLINGY she is (totally not self projecting) she would not let go of your hand, not to mention she is constantly pressed to your side esp when walking she is js leaning into you (same 😔) she cannot walk in a straight line for the life of her

◇Mizu is either the most shameful person you've ever met or the most shameless

No inbetween

◇The facts omg So. Many. Facts it's acc insane

"Did you know the 'type of animal' is acc a direct descendant of-"

◇Has a donkey Kong lanyard u drag her around by so she doesn't wander off

"Omg that's literally us in another universe"

(Pic credits go to yours truly 😌)

"Omg yn that's a stone fish the one from the meme 😁🫵"

"What meme?"

😨 (she only scrolls on YouTube shorts or insta reels) ((idk why she's shocked))

◇Constantly pointing out how ugly a fish is

"If it were human it could NEVER pull you"

"???"

◇Spent at least an hour in the shark exhibit telling you the scientific names of all the diff species of them and where they originated from

◇Millions of pics of them everytime a shark swam by at least 25 pics would be taken

◇Everytime you tell her to pise for a pic with one of the exhibits she either puts up a thumbs up with the dumbest smile you've ever seen or accidently flips you off then rushes over to you drowning your face in kisses and apologizing over n over

◇Sitting/leaning every chance she gets (and pulling u down w her every chance she gets) ((she is so clingy I can't express it enough))

"When do we get to go to the gift shop?" ◇She asked every 2 seconds if she's not telling you the most outrageous 'facts' she learned from who tf knows where

"That bird is big as shit 😐"

◇Tries to stand like a flamingo falls not even 2 seconds later claiming you pushed her

◇Literally RAN for the shark plushies once yall got to the gift shop

◇Could not decide which one to get so u js bought her all of them bc ur so sweet/you couldn't decide which one to get so she bought you all of them (whichever u want)

◇Got lost in the parking lot trying to find yalls car

◇Yall stopped at chic fil a on your way home

◇Once yall got home you both changed into comfy clothes and layed down and cuddled ofc yall cuddled with mizus ridiculous amount of new shark plushies

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

A/n pt2: thank you for reading I hope yall like this ☺️

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #bes mizu #mizu #art #bes x reader #blue eye samurai x reader #blue eye samurai fanart #digital art #sketchbook

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negans-lucille-tblr · 8 months ago

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My Worthless Love || Part Six (FIN)

Summary: At first, Dean can’t believe his luck that he gets to date a porn star, but soon the cracks start to show, and Dean gets to see a totally different side to the industry that bursts his bubble and leaves him torn.

Rating: 18+

Part Tags: angst, mentions of breaching limits, self-disgust, shame, embarrassment, mentions of drug use, lack of self worth, major fluff, mentions of rape

Part WC: 2790

A/Ns: Hope you all enjoyed this flangsty mini!

My Worthless Love Masterlist || Find out how to get your own commission here

Your POV

All you can focus on is getting back to the bedroom you’d been using as a changing room. Tears flood your vision as you keep your eyes fixed on your feet, making sure you don’t trip in your rush to escape, your clothes are clutched tightly to your still-naked body. Finally, you see the bedroom door, and let out a shaky exhale, desperate for the privacy the room can give you. You throw the door open without wasting another second and quickly duck into the room. But before you can close the door, your eyes land on someone sitting on the bed, and as you look up you realise who it is.

“Dean,” you choke out, attempting to compose yourself. You clear your throat, your heart racing in your chest.

Your mind is spinning so quickly, you’re not even sure how you feel about the fact that he hasn’t left. When you’d glanced over to where he had been standing not long into the shoot and saw him missing, you’d assumed this was all too much and he’d gone. You’d assumed that maybe he couldn’t handle this after all and had left you. You wouldn’t have blamed him – you hate yourself for it too – and the idea was one of the very reasons you didn’t want him to come to set with you. But you’d trusted him when he insisted that he could handle it.

“You’re still here?” you ask, confused.

“Of course I am,” Dean smiles slightly. “I wasn’t about to leave you here, I wanted to be sure you were okay.” He rises to his feet and begins to approach you, and your entire body tenses. “Are you okay?” he pries, concern painting over his face in an instant.

“Fine,” you lie, attempting to at least act it. “I’m fine,” you repeat, hoping to sound more convincing.

“What’s that?” he asks, nodding to your left hand. You look down, seeing the rag that had been thrown your way once the cameras had stopped rolling and your grip around it tightens.

“Just clean up,” you try to brush him off, hoping if you scrunch it hard enough in your grasp that he won’t see the mess inside. At the very thought, you also clench your thighs tighter together. “I should shower.”

You attempt to move past him towards the en suite, but you feel Dean turn with you.

“Wait,” he calls, placing a hand on your shoulder and stopping you in your tracks. You can feel the tears once again building at the backs of your eyes, and you’re not sure you can hold them in any longer.

“What, Dean?” you snap, glaring at him. Dean frowns, clearly taken aback by your tone, and then swallows hard. “I’m sorry,” you relent with a sigh, “please just let me shower.”

Dean silently releases you, nodding minutely, and so you turn and head into the bathroom, intent on having the water as hot as you can handle, scrubbing until your skin is raw and no trace of Nick is left.

You emerge from the bathroom timidly, not even sure Dean will still be in the bedroom waiting for you. You wouldn’t blame him if he isn’t after the way you treated him when all he’d tried to do is show you some concern. But he is, sitting on the foot of the bed, his head hung low as he plays with his fingers in front of him. He lifts his head when he hears you coming, and the concern he’d looked at you with earlier is still very evident on his face. You’d thought you’d got all your tears out silently in the shower, drowned out by the water and the loud music you’d put on. But more creep in and threaten to leave, and you can’t have anyone looking at you in that way right now, it’s too much.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dean finally asks, watching you carefully.

You don’t manage to speak this time, so you just nod, forcing a smile at him before turning your back as you begin rummaging through your bag of clothes for the clean ones you’d packed to change into.

“How was the rest of the shoot?” he pries, clearly trying to make conversation.

“The same as usual,” you half lie, not wanting to think about what had made you so upset in the first place. “You’d have known if you’d stayed,” you counter, hoping to distract yourself with the fact Dean had left instead.

“You don’t think I wanted to leave, do you?” he asks, and you hear the mattress groan slightly as he stands up.

“I don’t blame you,” you argue weakly. “I wouldn’t wanna see how little self respect my girlfriend has for herself if I were you, either.”

“Wait,” Dean insists, once again reaching out for you and placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Look at me.”

You drop the clothes in your hand back to your bag and slowly turn around, afraid to look directly in those green eyes, so you look down at your feet instead.

“Sweetheart,” Dean prompts, curling a finger under your chin to lift your head and look at him. “I didn’t want to leave. Marv made me.”

You wonder for a second if you even believe him, but then you think about how irritable Marv was growing every time you fucked up towards the start, and how distracted you’d been until you’d realised Dean was gone. It felt like you couldn’t fully let yourself get lost in your alter ego with him there, and no doubt it showed. So it would make sense for Marv to kick Dean out. The fact Dean didn’t want to leave at least brings you some comfort. Especially when you consider that it was probably a good thing he wasn’t there, especially towards the end.

“Is that why you’re upset?” he pries, frowning.

“Yeah,” you lie, turning around. “But it’s fine, I get it. You were totally distracting me. Marv hates mistakes,” you force a laugh, rummaging through your bag again just for something to do. Your eyes fall on the packet of valium Dean had caught you taking earlier, and you think about how much easier it would be if you took more – the whole lot, maybe.

“So you’re not mad?” Dean checks, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“No, I’m fine,” you laugh slightly. “I get it.”

You think it’s finally over, and Dean is going to drop it, so you begin to get dressed, hoping that enough time will pass that you can start acting fine enough that you’ll even start to believe it again. But you can’t stop the shake in your hands, and Dean being so close makes you nervous.

“What’s going on, baby?” Dean implores softly.

Fuck, why can’t this guy be oblivious like the rest of them? Why can’t he just believe a fine, and drop it?!

“Nothing, Dean!” you shout, throwing your t-shirt onto the floor with a huff.

“What happened?” Dean tries again, remaining calm.

It’s no good, you can’t do it.

You can’t turn around and face him, so you look down at your hands, your back to him as you finally come clean.

“It was a bad shoot,” you tell him. Instantly you feel both of Dean’s hands squeeze your shoulders lovingly, and he wraps his arms around you from behind and kisses the back of your head.

“Are they all this bad?”

“No, not like this,” you confess, your heart starting to beat a little harder and faster again. You’ve never had anyone to talk to about this stuff, you’re not even sure you know how to say it.

“Talk to me, you can tell me anything,” Dean encourages you quietly, holding you tighter.

You close your eyes and hold your breath for a moment, formulating the sentence in your mind.

“They ignored one of my limits,” you admit, swallowing hard to keep the tears at bay after your confession.

“What?” Dean asks, his body stiffening behind you. “Did you stop them? Did you say something?”

“There was no point, Dean. I’d already pissed Marv off enough, and I just wanted the shoot to be over.”

“What limit was it?” Dean’s tone is now laced with anger, and you worry you’ve only been thrown out of the frying pan and into the fire.

“He… he came inside me,” you explain weakly. “It’s fine, I’m not an idiot, I’m on birth control, I just don’t like doing it on camera.”

“That’s not the fucking point,” Dean grunts, and you feel him slip away from you. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

You instantly turn and reach out to grab his arm, hoping to stop him in his tracks like he’d done you earlier.

“Dean, don’t, please. You’re going to make it worse if you storm out there.”

“I don’t fucking care! You think I’m gonna let him get away with this? And then make money off of it by putting the video online?!”

You’ve never seen Dean like this before, and while part of you is honored he’s being so protective of you, you also fear what repercussions that’s going to have on you.

“Dean, please,” you beg once more.

“We can’t let them get away with doing this, Y/N. How many other girls have they done this to, hm? How many more?” He clearly knows you well to speak to your empathy towards other girls like you. You sigh heavily. “Has this happened before?”

You don’t want to give him that answer and add fuel to the fire so you purse your lips.

“I’ll talk to my agent, let him handle it. It’s what I pay him for,” you try to reason. Dean clenches his jaw, but he doesn’t protest to your compromise, his body relaxing just a little.

“Fine, but if that dick doesn’t do anything, I certainly will, and next time you won’t be able to stop me.”

“Dick, you promised me that you were going to make sure he got my limits list,” you remind him, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose.

You ignore your boyfriend who is glaring in your direction from the otherside of the couch, knowing that he’s not mad at you, he’s just been unable to keep some form of frown off of his face since the shoot the day before.

“Who are we talking about again, sweetheart?” you hear Dick sigh, “you’re not my only client, you know, no matter how much you act like it.”

“Nick,” you reply, ignoring his slight dig. “He goes by Lucifer, remember?”

“Oh right, yeah,” Dick replies, though you can tell from the tone of his voice he doesn’t actually know who you’re talking about.

“So what are you gonna do about it, Dick? He breached one of my limits,” you reiterate, starting to lose patience.

“Listen, doll, I don’t know why you’re complaining, you got paid extra for it,” he laughs slightly.

“That’s not the fuckin’ point, Dick,” you tell him through gritted teeth. “You’re my agent, you’re meant to make sure I’m safe at shoots like these, and when I’m not you’re meant to fight my corner. That’s what I pay you for. But if you’re not gonna do your fucking job then I might as well leave.”

“Whoa, sweetheart, calm down, I’ll talk to the director, okay? See if he can maybe get you a bit more cash to make it worth it, hm?”

“Jesus, no, it’s not about the money!” you shout, feeling like you’re going around in circles. “You know what? I’m done with you, I’ll find someone else.”

You hang up on him before he can protest, tossing your cell down onto the coffee table in a huff before throwing yourself back onto the couch and covering your face with your hands, utterly frustrated.

“Can I go fuck them up yet?” Dean grunts, and you peer past your hands to look at him, sighing heavily at the heavy glare still set on his face.

“No, the last thing I need is you being arrested for assault,” you try to joke.

It’s silent between you for a moment, until you hear Dean sigh heavily, and when you look over at him, that look of pure anger has dispersed from his gorgeous features, and now he just looks concerned.

“Listen, Y/N,” he begins, clearing his throat and leaning forward on his elbows, playing with his fingers in front of him much like he’d done the day before. “I never wanted to be this guy, and I never wanted to say this… but the difference is, I’m actually saying it for your sake, not mine,” he explains. He pauses for a moment as a small frown pulls at your brow. “I think you should quit.”

“Well I did just fire my asshole agent, so I guess I did,” you laugh slightly. “I’ll find a better one, one that treats me better,” you decide.

“No, I mean… I think you should quit the entire industry.”

“Oh.”

You can’t find much more than that to say as you think about Dean’s words. At first you’re a little angry that he’d try to tell you what to do, like he’s got some sort of control over your life, but then you think about how he’d said he was saying it for your sake and not his. Does he really have your best interests at heart here? Or is he just using this as an excuse to dump all his jealousy and insecurities on you and make you quit?

“What Nick did to you wasn’t right… if anything it was borderline rape. I know he knew about your limits, he mentioned your list to me before the shoot. He knew you didn’t want that and he did it anyway,” Dean reveals, only making you feel worse about the whole thing.

Not that you’re surprised by any means, but you’d tried to excuse it by convincing yourself it was Dick who fucked up and didn’t send your limits, and not Nick choosing to ignore them. While you don’t like Nick and had heard some rumours from other girls, you’d naively hoped he wasn’t as bad as people said, and working with him wouldn’t be a terrible idea; that maybe you’d be lucky.

“And it’s not just what Nick did,” Dean goes on. “The way pretty much every guy in that place looked at you and treated you… it made me feel sick. You don’t deserve that, you’re worth more than that.”

At Dean’s final comment you feel yourself breaking down, shaking your head in reluctance to accept that he might be right.

“No, I’m not… this is it, Dean, this is what I’m good at… this is what I deserve,” you sob out, trying to make him realise it for himself. Until now, you hadn’t really wanted him to, hoping if he didn’t see how unworthy you were of his time and attention, you could keep it a little longer.

“How can you say that?” Dean asks, sliding himself closer to you on the couch. “I don’t know who or what has made you feel like that, but they’re fucking wrong. You’re gorgeous, and you’re funny and smart, and you light up a room just being in it, and you’ve made me happier than I thought I could be. And none of that has anything to do with sex, because you’re more than that, darling.”

You shake your head again, trying to block out his words, not wanting to believe them, because you’d convinced yourself of the opposite for so long.

“Let me prove it to you, let me show you what you’re worthy of,” Dean implores, grabbing your hands in his. “Don’t quit for good if you don’t want to, but just take a break, let me try.”

“I don’t deserve that,” you sniffle. “I don’t deserve so much of your time, Dean.”

“Of course you do, you deserve every second of it,” he disagrees. “Y/N,” he sighs, making sure you’re looking at him. “Let me love you until you learn to love yourself.”

You stare into his eyes, searching for sincerity and finding nothing but just that. He truly believes what he’s saying, even if you think he’s wrong. But you nod anyway, agreeing to his request, because what have you got to lose other than him?

“Okay,” you finally vocalise. “You can try.”

The beam that lights up Dean’s face at least fills you with some comfort that maybe you’re doing the right thing after all. Especially with a guy like him.

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