#and look. i'm no stranger to getting frustrated and losing my cool.

[theradicalace]

i just think it's so funny that when *i* lash out and start bitching *about* management to my coworkers because of a stressful day at work, i get pulled into the office to discuss my attitude, but when a manager lashes out and bitches *at me* because of a stressful work day, i get a halfassed "oh sorry, but-" and i'm expected to roll over and take it.

[mentally-a-slut]

Three Days (Arthur Morgan x Fem! Reader) (SMUT)

Anddddd here we are! Part two of 'Staring Problem'! This can be read as a stand alone, but if you want a suggestive lead up, then go read part one! I tried my best with this one, but I haven't written explicit smut like this in a long time, so go easy on me! Writing this also reminded me that I loathe writing in second person, so from here on out I think I'll either do first or third. I won't bore you with details here, but I'll put up a separate post updating y'all on some stuff. Anyway, enjoy, and please leave feedback! Silent readers are appreciated but leaving comments helps me get motivated to continue! Even just a one word comment or an emoji helps! - Azi >:)

Summary: Arthur's been gone on a job for three days, which isn't a new development. However, a new development in your relationship just before he left leave you wanting. But fear not, as your troubles will be soon solved!

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: unprotected PinV sex, smut, oral (f receiving), overall filth, reader is female, unedited (sorry), probably OOC Arthur but we're here for dick not character analysis!

You had always hated when Arthur went away on jobs, but ever since he left you hanging, your distaste for his long absences had grown.

You hadn't seen the man in three days, only getting a parting kiss and a heavy, heated promise as a farewell. The first day he was gone, you were mostly in awe of what had happened, wistfully going about your day and daydreaming of things to come.

The second day left you a little frustrated, the ache for him only growing with his absence. The other girls had noticed too, only making you more irritable as they teased you relentlessly for your obvious attitude change.

The third day was when you started to get worried. He'd been gone on longer jobs than this before, but you still couldn't help the nervous bouncing of your leg as you sat across from Tilly, trying to busy yourself with patching up some clothes.

"I'm sure he's fine. He's been gone much longer than this before."

Your lips contorted into a line, eyebrows knitted as you shook off the pain of the needle piercing the soft pad of your thumb. "I know. Just miss him, I guess."

Tilly just smiled and let you work in silence alongside her.

Arthur had gone to rob some stagecoach close to Emerald Ranch, along with Javier and Micah. You trusted Javier to help bring him back safely, but the addition of Micah made you nervous. He had a reputation of losing his cool and endangering the lives of everyone in a five mile radius.

Abigail had been very helpful the last couple of days. She understood every minor shift in your demeanor in the time he was gone. John was no stranger to long jobs, so Abigail knew exactly how it felt to sit idle while the men were out in danger.

John tried to be helpful, saying things about how Arthur had been bled half to death before and still made it back alive, but that only made things worse. You appreciated the effort, though.

It was getting close to evening now, the light of the sun slowly disappearing behind the horizon. You tried not to feel disappointed, knowing that if they were on the way back, they would likely stop and make camp for another night before arriving. Riding at night was never good unless they were on the way to a job. Riding back during the day was safer, and helped them keep an eye out for any witnesses or general hinderances along the way.

Just as you were about to resign yourself to your lonely bedroll for the night, the sound of rumbling hooves shook the ground under your feet.

You whipped your head around to see three healthy horses slowing to a walk near the hitch posts, each one carrying an upright, unharmed figure. You silently cursed the fact that Micah had made it back alive, but figured it was too much to hope that you'd get Arthur back and get rid of Micah in one day.

You didn't care what it looked like to the others, throwing all cares out as you rushed over to greet the man that had been haunting your thoughts for the last three days. He was just finishing up tying his big black shire to the post, taking the weight off his horse for the night, when you tackled him into a hug.

He stumbled slightly, your arms wrapping tightly around his waist as he snaked an arm around yours to steady himself. His breath tickled the top of your head as he chuckled. "Miss me?"

You scoffed and pulled your head from his chest, still gripping the sides of his jacket as you looked up at him. "You were gone three days!"

He smiled down at you and pulled you back against him, settling his other hand to cradle your head against his chest. "I missed you too, sweetheart."

All of a sudden, he withdrew, his eyes landing on the man a few feet away that was tending to his horse. "Javier!"

He turned. "Yeah, Arthur?"

"Tell Dutch me and my lady are goin' on a little vacation for a while, will ya?"

Javier nodded with a smirk, and you shrieked as Arthur lifted you onto his horse without warning. He followed shortly after, kicking his horse into a fast walk as a few wolf whistles resounded from camp.

You held onto his waist tightly as he sped up. "Where are we goin'?"

"Just into town."

"What are we gonna do there so late at night?"

You felt more than heard his responding chuckle. "Get a room."

"Oh. Oh."

The excitement that tingled through your body was electric, buzzing the whole ride there.

~~~~~~

You would have flustered at the knowing look on the hotel receptionist's face if you had been at all aware of anything but Arthur.

Arthur thanked the man before leading you up the stairs to the room, his large hand gripping yours the whole way there. You expected him to jump straight into action the second the door closed behind you, but instead his strong arms pulled you into a hug.

His arms encircled you and pressed you against him as he nestled his face into your neck. The vibration of his words against your neck sent sparks through your body straight to your core. "Thought about you the whole time."

You sighed into him, holding onto his as if he would disintegrate upon letting go. He only pulled back to gently tilt your chin up, pressing a sweet kiss against your lips.

The kiss was so soft, so filled with emotion, his fingers brushing lovingly across your cheek as your lips molded together. You were the one to lean into it, chapped lips parting and teeth nipping lightly at him.

The responding noise from him fueled your desire more, the desperate groan making your whole body ache for his touch. His hands moved from your waist to your hips, fingers bunching up in the fabric of your shirt as he fought your tongue with his.

When his rough fingers brushed against the bare skin of your waist, you whined into the kiss, arching into him. He chuckled against your lips, brushing his hands even further up your shirt and coming to a stop just under your tits.

You broke the kiss just for a moment to lift your shirt over your head, discarding it wildly behind you. You yelped as he lifted you and spun you around, walking you backwards towards the bed. You tugged him down on top of you, slipping a hand under his shirt to feel to ripples of muscle on his chest and stomach.

"Arthur," you whined, tugging at his shirt. He got the hint, discarding his shirt before meeting your lips again. His kiss was rougher this time, wet and messy as he took in the feeling of your body against his. You brought your legs up to circle around his waist, and you whimpered when he pressed his hips forward against yours, his hardened cock straining against his pants.

You tangled your hands in his hair, tugging lightly. He squeezed your hips in response, kissing down your neck and nipping at the skin on your chest.

His hands snaked around your back, undoing your bra without even pausing. He broke the kiss only when he pulled the straps down, revealing your chest to the open air. Your first instinct was to cover yourself, but he didn't even give you the chance.

You didn't have the brain capacity to be embarrassed at the sound that came out of you when he took a nipple into his mouth, gripping the other with his large hand. He groaned against you, his erection brushing against you. He was growing harder by the second, the mere sight of you arousing him intensely.

His unoccupied hand stroked down your stomach, slipping two fingers in the waistband of your pants. You nodded and begged desperately, writhing against him. "Please! Please, Arthur..."

He moved his lips to your other nipple, quickly unbuttoning your pants and ridding you of both them and your panties in one movement. His lips separated from your chest as he moved up to you, staring into your eyes with intense lust. "I'm gonna get you ready, baby, that okay?"

Your heart swelled with emotion, only intensifying your desire. Even when he was desperate with lust, he looks at you with such caring, always making sure your okay. "Yes, yes, please!"

He smiled at you before kissing you sweetly, slowly kissing down your body. You whined as his hot breath brushed your core, your head tilting up to look at him between your legs.

His eyes glittered with amusement as they met yours, a teasing finger brushing your inner thigh. It was so close to where you needed it, but so far. "You're a tease."

He chuckled, "Can't help it when you look so pretty beggin' for me."

You threw your head back and groaned, half in frustration and half in arousal. Your noise quickly shifted to a whine when he suddenly slid a finger across you folds, head fuzzy with pleasure. "So wet already. All for me, sweetheart?"

You groaned and nodded, hips shifting towards him in an attempt to get him to do it again. "Ah, use your words."

Your words were half whimpered. "Yes! All for you, only for you, please!"

"Good girl."

He swiped his finger through your folds again, this time teasing his fingertip around your aching entrance. You bucked against him when his thumb brushed against your clit, breathing coming out in short, whiny sighs. "Please."

"Whatever you say, baby."

You moaned as a finger slid into you, his thumb pressing harder against your clit. Before you could complain at the lose of stimulation when he removed his thumb, his lips connected and sucked harshly. Your moans were surely loud enough to be heard, but the pleasure that wracked your body was so overwhelming you couldn't bring yourself to care.

His finger slowly moved in and out, brushing against your sensitive walls as his tongue assaulted your clit. You tangled a hand in his hair, tugging harder than you intended. He groaned against you, making a jolt of pleasure shoot through you.

The stretch of another finger was added, making you cry out. It wasn't enough to be painful, just enough to make you stretch around him so deliciously. He pulled his lips off of you and looked down at you, eyes hungrily watching as your cunt swallowed up his fingers. You looked down at him, lips parted with pleasure as he worked his fingers inside you. "More."

He glanced up at you with a smirk, slipping in a third finger. It sent a small jolt of discomfort through you, but it was quickly overwhelmed with pleasure as the third finger pressed against the most sensitive parts of your walls. "Oh, fuck, Arthur!"

"Feel good, huh?"

"Yes! Please, please, I'm gonna cum!"

He sped up, his fingers pumping in and out of your relentlessly. He leaned back in to swirl his tongue against your clit, which made you walls start spasming around him. Your thighs tensed, threatening to close around him, but he pulled back and held your legs open.

"Go on, baby, I wanna see your pretty face when you cum."

You couldn't form any words as his fingertips curled inside you and prodded against you in a way that made you see stars. His encouraging words only pushed you closer and closer.

"Good girl, doin' so good for me." You moaned and clenched around his fingers, muscles spasming as the dam broke. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you came, short, whiny moans escaping your lips as he fingered you through it.

With a gentle kiss against your clit that made you twitch, he pulled his fingers out of you and rose to look at you. You forced your eyes open, smiling breathlessly up at him. "You okay?"

You couldn't help but laugh, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. "More than okay. That was amazing."

He smiled and kissed you again, slow and loving. You knew you could tell him you were done for the night and he would agree in a heartbeat, not even caring about his own unresolved desires. But his sweet kiss only fueled another spark, already tingling through your body. His moaned against your lips as you arched against him, legs moving to wrap around his waist and pull him against you.

He pulled away with a raised eyebrow. "You're a needy one, aren't you?"

"Only for you."

You pulled him back down, kissing him roughly and pressing your hands all over his bare skin. His hips bucked forward when you tugged at his waistband, his desperation shining through even when he tried to stifle it.

You pushed him back, catching him off guard and shoving him onto the bed. He chuckled and shifted further back, letting you swing your leg across his hips and straddle him. You leaned down to kiss down his neck, smiling at the soft murmurs of content as you nipped at his collarbone.

You reached between the two of you, unbuttoning his jeans and shoving them down. He helped you and kicked them the rest of the way off, leaving him in only his boxers. You stared down at the bulge that strained against the white fabric, a wet spot of pre cum soaking a part of it. You looked down at him with a proud smile. "I do that to you?"

His hands slid up your thighs and caressed you hips. "You do so much to me. More than you could ever imagine."

You leaned down to kiss him, pouring all your emotions of admiration and lust into it. His hands moved to your ass, squeezing as he groaned against your lips. Your hips pressed down against his. sending a shock of pleasure through you as your clit brushed against his clothed bulge.

He would have been content to kiss you like that forever, but you were growing more and more desperate with each touch. You slid your fingers into his boxers without breaking the kiss, gently stroking his cock. His reaction spurred you on, and you pushed his boxer down to release him.

You marveled at his size as he helped you discard his underwear, leaving him fully bare underneath you. He was thick, and longer than anyone else you'd ever had. Your hand continued to slowly stroke up and down his shaft, thumb smearing the beads of precum around him. You were transfixed on him, lost in the feeling of his soft skin against your palm.

"Fuck, baby, as pretty as you look doin' that, I don't wanna cum just yet."

You slowed your movements to a stop and looked up at him with a soft smile. The admiration you felt for the man beneath you was overwhelming, and you didn't know if you could ever truly explain to him how much he meant to you.

You slowly moved to kiss him again, soft and sweet. You let your hips relax against his, smirking as his hips shifted under you to gain friction. You moved your hips against his shaft, your cunt dragging against him. You continued grinding on him, breathing growing heavier as the tip of his cock teased at your entrance with each movement.

After a few more seconds of torturing him, you lifted your hips and gripped his cock, prodding him against you entrance. Before you moved, you pulled away from his kiss, sitting up and placing a hand on his chest for balance. He groaned as he looked up at you, poised above his cock, cunt dripping with anticipation.

Emotion shone in his eyes, gaze still so loving even when clouded with lust. With a sigh, you lowered yourself slightly, taking his tip inside. You knew it was going to be a stretch, so you had to restrain yourself and take it slow.

He groaned at the sight of your cunt swallowing him, even just the tip of him. You held his gaze as you lowered another two inches, fingers gripping his chest at the slight stretch. Soon, his hands gripped your hips tightly as he helped you sink down all the way, clit brushing against him as you were finally fully seated against his pelvis.

Your eyes were dark with lust, cunt clenching around his cock as you adjusted. His eyes flickered over you, rapidly moving between your joined bodies, your heaving chest, and your face. "So perfect. Take me so well."

His words spurred you to move, lifting your hips slightly and moaning sweetly as you sank back down. The pain of the stretch had completely disappeared, replaced with a blinding pleasure. You rolled your hips a few more times before rising further, speeding up.

His hands held your hips tightly, his thighs tensing as he tried to hold himself back. "Fuck, sweetheart, look at you. Swallowing me up like that."

His words only increased your desire, your hips rising and falling faster, legs lifting you further off his cock. His moaned as he stuttered out praises, hands tightening on your hips as you rose fully off him and slammed back down again. Your pace increased, his length filling you up perfectly and brushing against the sensitive spots within you.

You struggled to hold yourself as you got closer and closer, pace faltering. You whined, every breath coming out as a soft moan. "You're doin' so good baby, want me to take over?"

You managed a messy nod, and his hips immediately rose up to meet yours, hands moving your hips up and down on him. You threw your head back as your cunt spasmed, orgasm coming down hard and fast. "I'm- fuck! Gonna cum!"

"Go 'head baby, I've got you."

With his words, you moaned with your release, his cock still pounding into you as you rode it out. Your senses were fuzzy, everything covered in a blanket of pleasure. You didn't even realize he had flipped you over, your head against the soft pillow. As your vision cleared, you looked up at him, blissful smile on your face.

"You did so good, honey, think you can gimme another?"

You nodded blearily, spreading your legs further as he continued thrusting into at a ruthless pace. You were building up to another one fast, barely even recovered from your previous one. His hand rested against your throat, grounding you but not squeezing. "So gorgeous, my pretty girl. Look so good stuffed full of my cock."

You moaned pathetically, hands going up to hold his face and grip his hair. "You feel so good, Arthur, I- I love how you make me feel."

He groaned in response, slamming into your cunt even faster. "So tight for me, gonna make me cum. Where d'ya want me?" He struggled to get the question out, his voice stammering through moans.

"Inside. Fill me up, Arthur."

His hand tightened around your throat for a moment at your words, and he moaned loudly. "Fuck, you're gonna kill me."

His movements grew sloppier, fingers pressing against your throat as he pressed his lips to yours in a messy kiss. With a few more thrusts, your own orgasm came to a head, only slightly preceding his.

His groaned against your lips and your walls clenched around him, his cum painting your insides as you milked him. He fucked you through it, kiss growing softer as he slowed to a stop. He stilled inside you, pulling back to look in your eyes.

You looked back at him, lips curled into a soft smile as he rested his forehead against yours. He pulled out carefully, planting a sweet kiss on your lips to distract you from any discomfort.

He shifted to lay next to you, turning his head to look at you. "You okay?"

You smiled and looked at him. "With you? Always."

[mayon3sa]

: ̗̀➛ THRIFTY

Synopsis:Having to clutch up the last round of a game is frustrating. What’s even more frustrating is getting clipped by one of the team members from the other team because they died. What happens when said clip ends up going viral and people start laughing at how the dynamic between the two strangers is. Not only does it end up going viral but it also encourages new friendships to be made through it and maybe even more than just friendships.

THRIFTY : PATCH ONE ☁︎ USER BARBONIE273???

SERIES MASTERLIST ┊ ⋆ ┊V2: NAWT COOL(TBA)

Playing Valorant alone was always one of your biggest fears, even though you were a professional player and had enough experience to speak up for yourself you always fell victim to the what if thoughts during certain games. Spiraling down those thoughts always seemed impossible to let go of ; Lucky something always distracted you from venturing any further into those thoughts

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, just as you were starting to worry your phone rang making you stop what you were doing and picking up the incoming call

“Y/N hop on val i’m on stream right now girly” Jirous voice rang through your phone

“I’m setting up my stream wait, in the meantime join the discord vc”

“Girl hurry up”

“Damn bro stop rushing me i’m almost done i'm fixing my mic, I’ll join the discord when i finish up bye bye”

“Hurry up if not i’m not playing with you bye bye”

Just as you were done setting up your mic you joined the discord vc to see shindo and shinsou also on the call

“I thought you guys were streaming why are you on call” you questioned

“Ehh we got bored and decided to just chill in call and hear you guys play val” Shindo said

“50 bucks y/n throws this game” shinsou said

“Haha hilarious you asshole, you wanna talk about throwing games let's talk about your two week lose streak back to back”

“Alright bro you didn’t have to do all that, just say you’re pressed and move on i guess”

“When i see you shinso it’s on fucking sight bro, bring your boxing gloves hoe”

“Or what”

“Oh my god both of you shut up, Y/N join my party i already sent the invite”Jirous voice interrupted you and shinou’s bickering

After nearly 20 minutes of you and Jirou playing you guys were approaching the end of the game with one last match having to take place in order for you guys to win the game. Saying you were exhausted was an understatement so needing some fun in the game you held a poll on your chat asking what you should do for the last round and surprisingly majority voted to play pistol only as it would’ve been fun. And that’s exactly what you decided on doing

“We should all do eco this round, with light shields and classical pistols” You had said to your team's general voice chat

“I’m down i’m getting bored of this game either way” a girl said

“Yeah i’m also down why not” Another girl said

“I mean why not we could win this round so sure” yet another girl also agreeing with your idea

“Jirou play eco this round let’s win this last round with thrifty that would be funny as hell” You commed

“Sure”

Just as the round started you lurked around b site playing around with your raze kit and knife making markings along the walls 

“Y/N there’s someone around the corner i set up cypher traps but they have guardian one tap and you're done for” jirou commed

“Relax i have roomba with me we’ll be ight”

“Y/N says that and she’s always first to die with than damn robot” Shinso said 

“Shut the hell up bro if i miss my shots i’ll get a medium to put a hex on you”

“Girl shut up and shoot 2 of them are coming to sight” jirou commed

“Damn bro y’all on my ass i know, i got it”

As Y/N as holding down b site two enemies had entered site you used paint shells as decoy and shot two of the enemies

“2 down, i think some might be lurking mid jirou tell iso to hold mid”

“Iso IS holding down mid dumbass look at mini map”

“Well not anymore she’s dead go hold down mid i’ll rotate to a”

“Shindo do you ever think about like what if dress to impress ever added a serving cunt category like imagine someone dressed up as maddie from euphoria” shinso talked into mic

“No because honestly think about it that would make the game so much better, i NEED that category added”

“I got sage, our phoenix commed 2 in a Y/N let’s rotate”

“Bro our whole team just full on died it’s just us” jirou said as she was checking player starts

“We’re winning this with hopes and dreams bro”

“Trust, trust i’ve been practicing my aim i can clutch this watch” y/n said

Just as Y/N and jirou were holding down a sight the enemy teams yoru had teleported behind jirou, though it was a good strategy on their part jirou managed to kill them, leaving the round between the enemy chamber, you and jirou. You do have to say as smart as the chamber was for using decoys they weren’t smart enough to kill jirou, they weren’t smart enough to realized you had your ultimate so just in time when they peaked you managed to kill them

‘THRIFTY’ was all that was heard as the round ended

Not wanting to leave a sour taste on the other players you left a message you thought was nice and Whitty on general chat ‘no scope :P wp’ 

“Alright jirou i think i’m gonna hop off i need to take care of my hedgehog bye jirou bye stream I'll see you guys hopefully tomorrow at the same time as today stay safe and hydrated guys”

Meanwhile…

“I FUCKING LOST TO A RAZE WITH NO DAMN GUN HOW BRO HOW” was all that was heard through bakugos stream

“AND WHAT KIND OF NAMES IS BARBONIE273?”

“THIS HAS TO BE SOME JOKE THERE’S NO WAY BRO HOW”

Just as he managed to somewhat calm down from the anger of that match he cut the clip and uploaded the rest to twitter

A/N. AHHHHH i finally finished the first chapter im so exhausted ngl but yayyy

taglist.@twinnintwink , @sara4uuu , @captainshindo , [open just ask to be in it :))]

[hwanchaesong]

↗🏢 Entering 1st floor: Lost in the crowd, blurry eyes and pink lips, wrongs paths and right person, and now you're saved in his arms. 🌌

🎧: Chase Atlantic - Paradise

wc: 1.6k

genre & warnings: fluff, angst, suggestive, university setting, strangers to lovers au, mentions of alcohol, party, cursing, themes of marriage, appearance of other idols etc etc

a/n: this is a part of The Paradise Hotel series. if y'all want, you can read the other album inspired fics of other groups here.

"Am I sweating too much? Is my suit wrinkled? Are m-"

"Hyung, shut the fuck up. You're fine." Beomgyu cuts off Soobin's yapping, rolling his eyes at the older's unsolicited panicking.

A comforting tap on his left shoulder gets Soobin's attention, "You need to calm down. It's your special day." Yeonjun, the oldest of the bunch, speaks up while the others nod their heads in agreement.

The male pouts, facing the mirror in front of him and he scans himself. He's handsome, that's given, but he couldn't help his nerves.

He closes his eyes in an attempt to cool his heated mind; remembering the moment when he first met you, the time when he knew he was in love, and the second he's sure that you're the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

---------------------------------------------------

It was a bright day but Soobin was rather gloomy on the inside because what the fuck? Where is he and where are his friends?

Surely, they didn't leave him alone in the amusement park, right?

Knowing his friends though, the possibility is sky high. Fucking pranksters.

He rubbed his temples in frustration, might as well walk around and enjoy himself, he did pay for the entrance fee.

Just then, a girl suddenly appeared. A girl in a pink sundress, sporting a big grin and two milkshakes. One of her arms is extended towards him, a kind gesture of offering him a drink.

"Uh..?" he stammers, not really knowing how to handle a situation like this.

"Here!" you shove the large plastic cup in his hand, "You look thirsty."

"Oh, thank you but I'm not t-"

"Yes, you are thirsty." you flat out rejected his rejection, and he was dumbfounded because he has never met someone like this before... and it's akin to that of inhaling fresh air from the mountains.

He stares at you, yeah, maybe he'll appreciate your company.

He found his friends after a few hours, with your help of course, and it's safe to say that his rambling about them losing him and not bothering to look for him was astounding. (in an adorable way)

---------------------------------------------------

His second meeting with you was nothing more than a godsent chance, in a frat party of his university that he was forced to be at, courtesy of Yeonjun, the most popular frat boy of their college.

He was sitting quietly in a corner, nursing his red cup of alcohol concoction, observing the swarm of people on the dance floor, swaying to the beat of some rock music blaring through the speakers of the house.

He sighs, this is boring as hell, then his eyes light up when he sees your familiar figure across the room. Then it went droopy when he noticed the guy beside you.

Wait a damn minute.

You look uncomfortable as fuck.

Soobin is not weak, but by all means, he avoids conflicts. He's docile like that, but his head was empty when he decided to walk over to you with a newfound confidence due to the liquid courage in his system.

"Hey, Y/N." he greets with a light smile, and he felt pride in his chest when he saw your hopeful expression.

You were about to reply to him, but the male beside you rudely interrupted the meeting.

"Man, can't you see we're busy here?" the man slurs, clearly drunk and for some reason, Soobin was pissed at the way your features withered just because of some asshole's words.

"What I'm seeing here is that you're invading her personal space." he utters threateningly, the polar opposite of his usual gentle way of speaking.

If there is one thing that he'll forever thank the heavens for, it'll be his height. He towers over the other man, and it was enough to intimidate the jackass.

"Yup!" you saw the opportunity to escape from the arms of your former partner, "Excuse us, Sunghoon, we'll be going now."

You stood up, grabbed Soobin's arms and dragged him out on the terrace of the house, "Thank you so much for saving me back there." you mumbled, shaking slightly from the cold, your thin outfit ain't shielding you from the winter breeze.

Then, you feel something warm draped over your shoulders, the orange-ish scent fills you with a sense of tranquil.

"It's nothing, it's a man's duty to protect a lady." he says jokingly, but your gut tells you that he meant it.

You took the initiative to step a little bit closer to him, bumping your shoulders onto his arm, "You're like a knight in shining armor then."

He hums, tilting his head so he could see you better, and the way you're gazing at him makes his heart beat a wad faster.

How could someone be so beautiful under some shitty lighting and an oversized (his) jacket.

"Am I?" he whispers, soft voice tickling the butterflies in your stomach.

"Yeah, my knight in shining armor."

That must make you his damsel in distress.

You are not good for his delicate soul, yet he knew that it was the end for him when you used that damned possessive noun.

A fragile yet thorny sentiment was planted, and now he's about to water and grow it.

---------------------------------------------------

Soobin is well-aware of his feelings for you, and there's no hour where he's not fretting about it. He is always thinking of ways to confess, to make you his, because he is convinced that the universe made you two meet.

Call him a delulu but he firmly believes that you are his soulmate.

As usual, instead of sleeping, his mind is in an overdrive, thinking of you all day and all night.

He tossed and turned in his bed, he has morning classes tomorrow at fucking 7:30 am. Really, who in their right minds would teach that early?

His phone then started ringing, scaring the wits out of him. Again, who in their right fucking minds w-

Never mind, it's you.

He immediately answers the call, then he hears you sobbing and muttering incoherent sentences until he makes out a vague 'I'm outside your apartment.'

Never the sporty one but he was faster than flash when he shot up from his bed to open the door for you, and there you were. Standing in the middle of his small yard— puffy eyes, red nose, pink lips, wrecked appearance yet in his eyes, you're still gorgeous as ever.

"Soobin!" you cried out, throwing yourself in his arms, and he easily caught you, letting in his flat as he shuts the door close with his foot.

"What's happening? Are you alright?" he worriedly asks, threading his fingers on your smooth strands, doing his best to pacify your problems away.

"I can't lose you." you murmur, and he felt his heart stop along with the rotation of the earth. Is he hearing things now? Had he gone insane?

When Soobin remained silent, you continued to ramble in his chest, hugging him tightly, "I-I heard from some people in our uni that Yeri will be confessing to you. I don't w-want that!" you hiccup, and he discerns that you probably had a few drinks before coming here.

"Y/N." he gently called your name, and you craned your neck to face him, only for Soobin to give you the most loving kiss you had ever experienced.

Everything about the kiss is surreal. Magical, enchanting, one that can be only given to you by your destined person.

"I don't care about that or her." he fondly cradles your cheeks in his cozy palms, "I only care about you, my princess, my damsel in distress. I am your knight in shining armor, after all."

If you needed more assurance, he gladly showed you that for the rest of the night. He made you realize how much he loves you. With simple touches, messy tongue and teeth filled kisses, and passionate love-making.

He had you writhing under him, and even in your sweaty and tousled condition, he still finds you to be an absolute masterpiece.

Soobin worshiped your body, kissing and licking every corner, your skin was a former blank canvas that he happily painted in luxurious hues of the sky and wine.

At the end of it all, he has you enveloped in his arms. He has you in his life, sleeping peacefully. His pretty, pretty princess that he swore to protect with all his might until you're grey and old.

---------------------------------------------------

"Hyung, let's go. It's about to start." Huening Kai nudged Soobin, slightly startling him from his daydreaming. His eyes were wide open, anxious yet still complied when he was hauled out of the dressing room.

He stood like a statue at the end of the aisle, he was focusing on a piece of flower that had fallen from the arrangement displayed at the altar.

The sound of the metallic doors opening and the classical music playing sent shivers down his spine.

He slowly turns around, his eyes locking in yours and the surroundings are serene once again.

He watches you walk down the red carpet, wearing the most exquisite white gown that you have specially curated for the occasion. A white veil covers your face, and Soobin doesn't need to remove it to see how much of an angel you are.

The girl of his dreams that makes his dreams come true, if that even makes sense, but that's what he'll describe you despite the lack of adjectives to represent a treasure like you.

Soobin is no genius nor a champion, he is not the richest man on earth, no, yet he knows that he's lucky enough to be alive in this utopia with you.

Real heaven starts with you, his paradise.

taglist:

@hyunjinheartbreakprince @lun4kazumii @once27 @purrplegyuu @yawnzsof @shakalakaboomboo @baeksofty

[rafecamerons-national-anthem]

𝐿𝒪𝒮𝒯 𝒜𝒩𝒟 𝐹𝒪𝒰𝒩𝒟-𝑅𝒜𝐹𝐸 𝒞𝒜𝑀𝐸𝑅𝒪𝒩

𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪 Y/N finds herself caught in the turmoil of her childhood friend Rafe's spiraling behavior. A carefree boy she trusted, Rafe has become someone distant and troubled. Struggling with inner darkness and a desperate need for approval, Y/N’s empathy brings down his walls.

✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮

The summer heat was thick in the air, clinging to your skin as you stood on the edge of the Cameron estate’s sprawling lawn. The soft buzz of cicadas filled the space between you and Rafe, who was pacing near the driveway. You had been waiting for him to calm down ever since you arrived, but it seemed like nothing could settle him lately.

It wasn’t the first time you’d watched Rafe spiral, but it was the first time it scared you this much.

“Rafe, you need to stop this,” you said, crossing your arms. Your voice was more frustrated than you meant it to be, but you couldn’t help it. “You’re getting in too deep with this stuff.”

Rafe stopped pacing, turning to look at you. His usually bright blue eyes were clouded with something darker, something you didn’t recognize anymore. There was a time when he’d come to you when things got bad, when you could pull him back from the edge. But lately, that seemed impossible.

“I’m fine,” he snapped, but there was a strain in his voice. “I don’t need you worrying about me, Y/N.”

You frowned, stepping closer to him. "Well, too bad. I'm always going to worry about you."

His jaw clenched, his hand running through his messy hair. He was dressed in a wrinkled T-shirt, dirt and sweat staining the fabric. You knew what that meant. He’d been hanging out with Barry again, doing God knows what. Rafe’s obsession with getting approval from his dad, from anyone was pulling him into more and more dangerous situations. It was starting to feel like you were losing him.

"Rafe, this isn’t you," you said quietly. "This isn’t the guy I’ve known my whole life."

He looked at you then, really looked at you, and for a brief moment, you saw the boy you used to ride bikes with through the island streets. The boy who would sit on the beach with you for hours, talking about nothing and everything. But that boy seemed so far away now, hidden beneath the weight of whatever darkness he’d let creep into his life.

"People change, Y/N," he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe you should stop expecting me to be the same, yeah?"

His words stung, like a sharp twist to your chest, but you refused to back down. “I don’t expect you to be perfect, Rafe. I just…I don’t want you to lose yourself.”

He scoffed, stepping away from you. “I’m not losing anything.” But you could see it in his eyes. He was already lost.

Hours later, the sun had long since disappeared behind the horizon, casting a cool darkness over the island. You sat alone on the dock, your feet dangling over the edge, listening to the gentle lap of the water against the wood. Rafe hadn’t said goodbye when you left the house. He hadn’t said much at all. The tension between you two was getting worse, and you hated it.

You stared at your phone, hoping for a message, a call, anything to tell you that he was okay. But there was nothing. The silence was deafening.

Suddenly, the sound of footsteps on the dock snapped you out of your thoughts. You turned quickly, expecting to see a stranger or maybe one of the Pogues, but instead, it was him.

Rafe stood there, illuminated by the soft glow of the moon. His shoulders were slumped, his face worn from whatever trouble he'd gotten into tonight. His chest heaved slightly, like he’d run all the way here.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice low and rough. He took a hesitant step forward, and the crack in his tone made your heart ache. “I’m sorry.”

You blinked, taken aback by the sudden apology. Rafe never apologized, not to you, not to anyone.

“What happened?” you asked, standing up from where you sat. You moved toward him, noting the bruising on his cheek, the split in his lip. He looked like he’d been in a fight, and your stomach dropped. “Rafe…”

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair again, the way he always did when he was frustrated or trying to hold himself together. “I got into it with some guys. Over something stupid.” His voice wavered, and you could tell he was trying to keep it together, but there was a vulnerability in his expression you hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Are you hurt?” you asked softly, stepping closer to him.

“No,” he said quickly, but then his voice cracked again. “Not really.”

You frowned, reaching out to touch his arm. “Rafe, what happened?”

He took a deep breath, his eyes searching yours like he was trying to find the right words. For a long moment, he didn’t say anything, but when he finally spoke, his voice was broken. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Your heart clenched, and you reached up, brushing your fingers gently against the bruise on his cheek. “Then don’t. You don’t have to keep getting yourself into these situations, Rafe. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”

His hand came up, gently wrapping around your wrist as he closed his eyes at your touch. “I don’t know how to stop, okay?”

You could feel the weight of his words, the pain he’d been carrying alone for so long. And in that moment, all you wanted was to take it away, to remind him that he didn’t have to carry it by himself.

“You don’t have to stop alone,” you said softly. “I’m here. I’ve always been here.”

He opened his eyes then, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the walls he’d built around himself started to crumble. Rafe pulled you closer, his forehead resting against yours as his hands wrapped around your waist, holding onto you like you were the only thing keeping him grounded.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispered again, his voice trembling. “I’ve been such an idiot.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as you pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “You’re not an idiot, Rafe. You’re just…lost. But I’ll help you find your way back. I promise.”

He pulled back just enough to look at you, his blue eyes filled with something raw and unspoken. And then, without another word, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that was slow and tender, filled with all the things he hadn’t been able to say.

When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours again, his voice barely a whisper. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” you promised, tightening your hold on him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

And as the two of you stood there under the moonlit sky, with the water softly lapping at the dock beneath you, it felt like maybe, just maybe, you were both finally found.

[ihave-atummyache]

a couple of friends

Stray Kids Imagine

Summary: there is a thin line between being just friends and being something more. what blurs this line?

18+ !! gets a lil smutty in one of them but nothing too detailed.

-OT8

4.5k words

sorry for how angsty lee know’s is D:

Bang Chan: holding hands.

“Ugh. I’m getting hot,” You complain, your skin was getting sweaty, causing sand to stick to you. You hear Chan beside you chuckle before getting up and standing in front of you.

“That’s why there’s a whole ocean to cool off in!” He smiles at you and you look behind him. The water really did look quite appealing in this moment.

And so did he. He was stood in front of you in just some swim trunks and sunglasses. He looks stunning against the back drop of the beach and you bite your lip at the sight.

He reaches his hands out to you and you hesitantly accept them as he pulls you to your feet.

"Channie..." you complain but he cuts you off with a finger to your lips, releasing one of your hands but slotting his fingers between yours in the other.

"Aht aht! I don't want to hear the complaints. You just said you were hot so now we have to go in the water!" He tries to reason and you shake your head with a smile.

"This isn't really an 'in the water' bathing suit though," you try to reason, motioning to your skimpy bathing suit. You try to drop back down onto the towel and he tightens his grip on your hand, preventing you from sitting.

"Come on," he starts pulling you towards the water and you laugh behind him as he speeds up.

"Okay! But if I lose a nipple, it's your fault!!" you say from behind him and he chuckles, turning his head towards you.

"I don't think it would be the end of the world for me," he winks and you feel the warm water on your feet a few seconds later.

"Are those two finally together or what?" Seungmin questions as he plops down on your towel next to Felix. Felix shakes his head, catching the attention of Changbin.

"Really?! I'm not sitting here holding hands with my homies," Changbin speaks up and Felix turns his attention to him.

"You literally hold hands with Minho hyung at every chance you get," he says which causes Seungmin to laugh.

"Well that's different. I'm not hoplessly in love with Minho like Chan is with y/n," the three laugh at you and their leader's relationship.

The two of you couldn't care less, well at least you couldn’t. You were perfectly content with this weird flirty energy between the two of you for now, although Chan couldn't completely agree with you.

He wants you to be his, but he doesn't want to rush anything so when he feels an overwhelming urge to kiss you or tell you he loves you, he instead interlaces your fingers to keep himself sane.

Lee Know: hooking up

You always get into your thoughts when you and Minho have sex. It isn't the first time and surely won't be the last but you always find yourself wanting to stop in the middle. Not because you aren't enjoying yourself (because you both know you are) but because reality sets in and it all feels too real.

You want to say you regret making this stupid arrangement with someone you were so close to, but that would be a lie. You were both so sexually frustrated and you proposed the idea of being fuck buddies, half as a joke, but Minho practically jumped at the opportunity.

You have known each other for a while and he felt completely comfortable around you. It was a much better arrangement than hooking up with a stranger and potentially having them ruin his career or life in anyway.

This time, you are in missionary, your legs wrapped around his waist as he pumps in and out of you. Your eyes roll back into your head as his pelvis makes contact with your clit, sending you into even more intense pleasure than previously.

"Look at me, darling," the nickname flows off of his lips and your eyes snap open at the command, immediately meeting his. The nickname makes your stomach fill with butterflies and you want to cry on the spot.

His eyes leave yours for a second, glancing at your lips then back up to your eyes. A rule that you and your best friend had come up with when this agreement began was absolutely no kissing. It would make things too intimate between the two of you.

Which is extremely ironic seeing as you rip each other's clothes off at every second you get. Can it get more intimate then that?

"Stop." you breathe out and he doesn't hesitate to stop at all, his face immediately turns to one of confusion and concern.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you? What's wrong?" he questions and studies your eyes as they fill with tears.

"Baby, are you crying?" You shake your head but your body betrays you as the tears stream down your face. The nickname does not help to ease the internal conflict. You had never cried in front of Minho so he is frozen, unsure of exactly what to do.

"Don't, Minho. Please just...don't," the hot tears stream down your face and you push him off of you, suddenly feeling much too exposed and too vulnerable in your naked state. You quickly grab a t-shirt off the ground that happened to be his and pull it over your head to cover yourself.

You go to stand but suddenly Minho's arms are around you, pulling your back flush to his chest and that's all it takes the the sobs to start racking through your body.

You are so hopelessly in love with your best friend and want nothing more than to hold him, cherish him, love him, and as far as you know, he only wants your body.

Changbin: going on dates

Your text tone rings through the room and you glance over to see a text from Changbin.

'wyd tonight?' it reads and you sit down your book, using both of your hands to type back.

'nothing. just chilling. whats up?' you reply and he quickly types a reply, your text chime going off before you can even pick your book back up.

'now you have plans! dress nice and lets go to that new italian restaurant that just opened' you smile at the text. He never actually asks you to go any where with him. He kind of just tells you what you are going to be doing later and you roll with it.

'pick me up at 7?' you reply, giving yourself an hour and a half to get ready. he likes the message and sends back a quick ‘making the reservation now’ so you head to your room to change and clean yourself up a bit to go on your date to hang out with Changbin.

You settle on a an emerald green, off the shoulder dress. It reflects in the light and is slightly glittery. Changbin also has made comments in the past about how he loves your shoulders so you figure you would give him a little show.

You slip on a thin gold necklace with a small heart pendant and a few gold bracelets, keeping the outfit relatively simple. You slick your hair away from your face and throw on a simple makeup, really just brightening up your features to make it look like you put some effort in.

You look at yourself in the mirror and smooth down your dress a few times before you hear a knock at your door. You glance over at your clock, he is 30 minutes early, very like him.

"Come in!" You call from the doorway of your room before heading back in to put finishing touches on. You hear the code being beeped into your door and soon you hear Changbin kicking his shoes off by the door.

You glance in the mirror one more time before walking out to the living room, where you assume he would be. However, he isn't. Instead, you hear commotion in the kitchen and enter, seeing the back of your friend's head.

"Hi, Binnie," he jumps slightly at your voice and turns to you, "Hi, you look gorgeous," his eyes rake your body and try to do the same but his hands catch your eyes.

He is holding a vase with a bouquet of a combination of your favorite flowers. He had found the vase in your cabinet and put the flowers in while you finished getting ready. He sets the vase down on your island and walks towards you.

He had on all black, a dress shirt and suit jacket with matching slacks. He looks clean and so very handsome.

"How did I get such a pretty best friend?" he questions and reaches out, pinching your cheek. Your heart strains and you feel like you could be sick.

'Best friend'. You almost forgot that you were the one hopelessly in love with your best friend. But if he wasn't in love with you, why would he insist on bringing you on all these dates and not one of his other friends? You can’t help but hold onto the sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he feels the same.

Hyunjin: give each other cute nicknames

You were sitting with your back to the entrance waiting on a few of your friends to arrive at the coffee shop you and your best friend were at. It was a large group of friends but the only friend on your mind was Hyunjin. You love your other friends, don’t get me wrong, but Hyunjin just sent your head spinning every time you had a conversation or laid eyes on him.

He was everything you could ever want. He is kind, caring, emotionally competent, and he is so gentle with you. Not to mention he is quite literally the most handsome man you have ever laid eyes on.

"No! I disagree," your best friend sitting across from you speaks up, snapping you out of your thoughts. You had drifted off into your own thoughts about Hyunjin again and forgotten what the conversation was about.

You blink at your best friend a few times and she rolls her eyes, "Daydreaming about Hwang Hyunjin again?" she smirks and you roll your eyes in response.

"Never," you insist

"Always," she counters and before you can say anything else, the bell to the shop's entrance rings. You turn around and your group of friends is walking in, all boys and, of course, Hyunjin.

"Hi, beautiful," Hyunjin slides into the booth next to you before anyone else can and quickly makes his arm comfortable along the top of the booth behind you. His warmth surrounds you and your breath hitches in your throat.

You don’t resist the urge to lean into him a bit and pat his thigh gently a few times under the table.

"Hello, my prince," you tease back, letting out a new nickname that you hadn't used yet. You let out a laugh at his shocked expression. He turns back to the group, his side profile exposed to you and you see the small smirk forming.

"My prince..." he breathes out, quietly and you nudge him, turning back to the conversation at the table.

“You can’t say things like that to me, princess,” he mirrors your nickname, leaning in to whisper in your ear and you smile.

“You like being a prince?” you inquire quietly turning to face him again

“No. I like being yours,” he says, seriously while holding eye contact with you. You blink a few times then turn to your best friend across from you when she clears her throat.

"Nice of you two to stop flirting and join the conversation," your best friend comments and you kick her under the table gently.

"We weren't flirting," You and Hyunjin reply at the same time.

His friend on the other side of him leans forward and looks at the two of you as he speaks, "Yeah because I call all my friends by cute nicknames every time I talk to them," he says and shakes his head, falling back into his seat.

Your neck and face heat up and you shake your head, chuckling, "Anyways!"

Han: giving expensive gifts

"I can't wait to see you again. Can't you just buy a plane ticket right now?" Han whines over the phone and you let out a laugh.

"I wish I could, Hannie. I miss you too," you reply and smile at the small pout on his face. He never knew if his constant flirting was getting to you or not so he hasn't confessed...but then again neither have you. Because his flirting has surely been getting to you and has since you met him.

"Why can't you?" he questions and you shake your head, he knows why you can't.

"I have work and other responsibilities here," you reply and rest your chin in the palm of your hand while looking at Jisung.

"Just quit your job. I'll pay for everything," he tries, big eyes round and sparkly.

"You already pay for everything! You get me anything I want. Even when I tell you not to!" You cry out and he shrugs, his face lighting up.

"Actually, now that you mention it, I did get you a gift while we were in Paris," he says, a bright smile on his face.

"Han Jisung!" You protest but he stands and walks out of the camera frame. You shake your head and look at yourself in the camera, making sure you still look good before he comes back.

Your eyes catch sight of the necklace you already have on, a gift from Jisung. It was a thin gold Van Cleef necklace he had gotten you for your birthday. It has a small clover on it with your favorite stone. You hadn't even heard of the brand until you saw the box and later looked it up.

"I'll give you a little hint, but I won't tell you what it is, okay?" His voice speaks from off camera and you roll your eyes.

"I'm waiting for an answer," he sing songs from off the screen and you sit back in your chair, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Fine. You need to stop buying me so many gifts!" You object and start hearing him dig through his luggage and bags.

"But I always imagine how pretty you would look in everything I get you," he counters and you blush, fighting the smile off your face.

"You don't think I'm pretty without your expensive gifts?" You tease, trying to fish a compliment out of Jisung.

"You're pretty no matter what. You could be wearing a trash bag and still probably be the only girl that catches my eye," he confesses and chuckles before sitting down.

You try to keep the expression off your face to seem unfazed by the comment but honestly, your heart was about to jump out of your mouth.

"Okay here's your hint," he holds up a red box and across the front in cursive is the word 'Cartier'. Your jaw drops again at the hint and grab your chest.

"Oh my gosh, Jisung!" you pause and blink at his smiling face a few times, "What am I going to do with you," you put your head into your hands and try to stop the room spinning.

A few weeks later, you can bet that you have a post on your social media, the beautiful and iconic Cartier bracelet adorning your wrist.

The last picture you post is just of your wrist and hand holding a cup of coffee, giving a clear view of the beautiful piece of jewelry.

felix: cuddle

"Nooooo. I'm not happy yet," you insist and wrap your legs around Felix's waist, preventing him from leaving your koala grip.

He uses his arms to try to push himself off of you but you just wrap tighter, you were either coming with him or he would have to cuddle with you until you were satisfied.

"Oh yeah? But you stopped crying ten minutes ago," he clocks your deceit and you roll your eyes at the comment. He was kind of right, you definitely did feel much better than you did when he walked in on you crying earlier.

"Just because I'm not crying, doesn't mean I feel better," you try to reason and he sighs, falling back against you. He pushes his hands under the small of your back to hold you closer to him, even though you were laying completely on his arms, he couldn't imagine a more comfortable position to be in.

In all honesty, he only wanted to get away from you because the smell of you and intimacy that you craved, only from him, made his mind and heart race.

And maybe all the blood in his body wash rushing to where he wanted you most. He sighs as you bring a hand up to play in his hair.

"Do you want to talk about it now?" He inquires, his arms wrapping impossibly tighter around you and you nod.

"It's just my boss being an asshole. I feel like she is just always out to get me and I have never done anything to her or anyone else at work for that matter!" you speak out, frustration bubbling over, but you take a deep breath before continuing.

"It feels like she singles me out every single day and compliments everyone else but nitpicks every single thing I do. You know what I mean?" you ask, pausing your hand in his hair for him to give you some indication that he is listening. He nods and mumbles out a quick 'mhm' to let you know he is listening.

"It's so frustrating because even on group projects, she somehow only has issues with the parts that I do or initiate or present! At this point it feels like she's trying to force me to quit so that she doesn't have to fire me before she leaves. She's doing all this bitching and moaning and is literally retiring in a month!" you complain again and you feel Felix's thumbs trying to relax you by rubbing the small of your back. This did in fact help to ease the forming tension.

"Maybe she wants you in her position. Have you thought about that?" he asks quietly and your hand stops in his hair again as you ponder the question.

His sits up and rolls off you, laying to the side of you and propping his head up in one hand as he studies your face. He sees your furrowed brows and your teeth gently chewing on your lip as you think about what he just said. He throws an arm over your torso to try to get your attention away from your own head.

"What if she is being hard on you because she is trying to prepare you to take her spot once she leaves," he proposes and you smile, turning your head to face him.

"Felix! You are an angel! How is it that you always know exactly the right words to say?" you throw an arm around his neck and pull him into an awkward hug.

"Thank you. You're the best friend I have ever had," you speak lowly into his ear and he bites down on his lip, trying to numb the pain in his chest at your words.

"Y-yeah what are best friends for," he chuckles, trying to sound unbothered, but every time you called him your friends he can’t help feeling like he gets another stab in the heart.

Seungmin: sharing everything

"Minnie! Minnie! Minnie!" You come bouncing into the practice room and he turns his head immediately at the sound of your voice.

Hyunjin is sitting at the front of the room on his phone and looks up at you as well, "Hi, y/n," he smiles and you wave politely in return.

"Hi, Jinnie," you reply and rush over to Seungmin who is standing by the computer.

"Try this! I think this is the best take out I have ever had," you say with a huge excited smile on his face and he can't help but mirror your excitement because of how cute you are.

You get some food on the fork, making sure to get every bit that he needs to taste at the same time before bringing it up to his mouth. He opens his mouth and lets you feed him.

"Mmm!" he exclaims, bringing a hand up to his mouth as he chews, his eyes growing wide. He grabs a napkin that you had in your hand and wipes his face, handing it back to you.

"So good right!" you grab the napkin and go to join Hyunjin in the front of the room. You plop down next to him and eat some more of the takeout, using the same napkin Seungmin had used to wipe your own face.

"You two are so cute," Hyunjin comments and you both look over at him in confusion.

Seungmin is confused because he knows Hyunjin knows how he feels about you. He had confessed to his friend on many occasions that he was absolutely infatuated with everything about you.

You are confused because you thought you were hiding your gigantic crush on Seungmin much better than you apparently were.

"Sharing stuff all the time. It's cute. You even have his hoodie on right now and he's using your pink water bottle that you left at the house," he comments and motions over to Seungmin as he takes a sip of water.

He was in fact using your favorite refillable water bottle and you were in fact wearing his hoodie. You smile and try to convince the blush rising to your face to go away.

"We're just being nice to each other, Hyunjin," Seungmin says and glances over at you to gauge your reaction. "Sharing is caring," he finishes.

You meet his gaze for a moment before turning to Hyunjin and shrugging.

"I like to share with him. It feels right because of how...close we are," you choose your words carefully and Seungmin turns around to start the music again, trying to hide the smile that was creeping onto his face.

"Can I actually have a sip of that water," you say across the room and Seungmin chuckles, rolling the bottle to you. You take a sip while he watches at you over his shoulder, a smirk on his lips. He shakes his head and presses play on the music.

I.N: feed each other

You are the acts of service type, at least when it comes to Jeongin. He is one of those people that you always feel like you need to take care of. He is perfectly capable of taking care of himself but as soon as he drops something or stumbles or complains about being hungry, you can't help but help him.

He is easy to baby for some reason and he doesn’t seem to mind when you do baby him. At least not as viscerally as he does when his bandmates do it.

"Innie, are you hungry?" You ask from your spot on the couch. He hums in response with a nod of his head, never taking his eyes off the game on the screen. You two have been playing a new game and you quickly got bored but he is still invested.

"Okay. I'm going to make some food," you reply and stand, making your way to the kitchen. You make a quick snack, something to hold you both over until dinner and return to sit with him.

You had settled on chocolate covered strawberries and whip cream. This was a favorite snack between the two of you to satisfy both of your sweet tooths.

"I got your favorite," you announce walking back in to the room and Jeongin glances over at your hands quickly to see what you brought.

"Ooo, good choice," he nods and turns back to the tv screen when he heard shots ringing into the air.

"Open wide," you let out as you dip a strawberry into some whip cream. He follows your order and you pop the strawberry into his mouth. Some whip cream gets on the side of his mouth and you waste no time, swiping it away with your thumb and licking the whip cream away from your finger.

He side eyes into your direction as you gently suck on his thumb and you can see his Adam's apple bop up and down. You take turns eating a strawberry then giving one to Jeongin for a little while before you get full.

"Ugh. I can't eat anymore or I won't be able to eat at that restaurant later," you confess and dip the last strawberry in chocolate, "Open," he obeys immediately and this time some of the chocolate gets on his bottom lip.

You reach your pointer finger out and push the drop of chocolate into his mouth, your finger gently meeting his tongue. He sucks the chocolate off and grabs your wrist, turning to face you.

"You're in dangerous territory, princess," he leans closer, his eyes darting to your lips then back to your eyes. He clears his throat and turns back to the game but you are stuck frozen in place because never have you ever had butterflies for your best friend until this very moment.

Or have you?

[cosymelody]

Finally managed to finish this fic with exactly 4,000 words ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

I'm kinda happy with how it turned out even if it isn't the best but I hope y'all enjoy it!

Imagine Masked!Reader and Four get ambushed by a group of monsters after arguing about whether Masked!Reader should be able to fight alongside the Chain.

Four and some other members of the Chain don't think it's safe for them to be in battle and fight against the dangerous monsters they go against, but Masked!Reader is insistent on having their own weapons and ends up getting pissed off, which only leads to them storming off to cool down.

•♫•♬• 𝑶𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕 𝑷𝒕. 𝟏 •♬•♫•.

You couldn't tolerate how you were treated sometimes by the Chain.

Sure, it was nice to finally feel truly cared for after so long and all, but they seemed to underestimate you quite a bit. You wanted to help them in battle. However, either Hyrule or Twilight would pull you away. Even when you tried to help with carrying things, Time or Wild would come along and carry them for you. It was frustrating to constantly feel underestimated and sidelined by the Chain. Despite their caring nature, you longed for the opportunity to prove your capabilities in battle and contribute more actively.

It was nice being around them and being able to spend time with them, but when some of your weapons and items started to disappear, it got quite irritating. You had suspected that either Legend or Four was stealing them, and your suspicions were confirmed when you discovered a certain little Link rummaging through your bag. You had been helping a little with everyone before you came back to grab something out of your bag, only to find Four going through it and holding your favorite and most precious knife that you were gifted.

"Four... What are you doing with my knife?"

"O-oh! I was just... checking it to see how sharp it was?..." You raised an eyebrow, unconvinced by Four's explanation. The knife held sentimental value for you, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of anger at the thought of it being mishandled.

To be completely honest, you found it quite irritating how he was not only snooping through your stuff but was also lying about taking one of your most prized possessions. You could feel your eye twitch as you stayed silent, waiting patiently for him to speak the truth as you glared at him. After a moment, he sighed, finally giving up a losing battle and speaking the truth to you.

"All right... Me, along with... Others believe it would be better if we handled the fighting. We don't want to take a chance with you getting hurt." You couldn't help but feel a mix of relief and frustration at his admission. It was true that you were no stranger to danger, but his overprotectiveness was starting to suffocate you.

Okay, now you were starting to get a bit pissed off. You were getting sick and tired of being treated as a weak and precious item. You had a lot of fight and fire in you that they didn't seem to even notice, and you didn't want to just stand by and let them get hurt. You stood still before taking a deep breath, exhaling, and pinching the bridge of your covered nose as you tried to calm your nerves to the best of your ability before you calmly walked over to where Four was with your bag and grabbed your knife from him. You readjusted the mask that covered the lower half of your face as you swiftly crouched down and placed it back in your bag before abruptly closing it and putting it back on the ground where it was.

"... Ya know, where I'm from, it's quite rude and disrespectful to go looking through people's stuff, and even more so to take their belongings without permission. I'm gonna go for a walk. I'll be back in a little..." You stated this firmly, making it clear that you were not pleased with Four's actions. As you walked away, you couldn't help but feel a mix of anger and disappointment. Taking a deep breath, you reminded yourself to stay composed and find a way to address the situation later on.

You let out a huff of annoyance as you moved through the trees and along a narrow path that you could see, only for your annoyance to increase at the sound of rapid footsteps approaching you from behind. You take a glance back to see Four sprinting in your direction, his voice calling out to you as you keep walking away from him. You let out a slight snarl as he caught up to you, not afraid to show your irritated state and how you needed some alone time.

"Hey! Slow down! Where are you even going? You know how dangerous it is out here." Four's concerned voice echoed in your ears, but you remained determined to distance yourself from him. Ignoring his warning, you quickened your pace, craving the solace of the secluded woods ahead.

"I need some time alone so I don't end up snapping, alright! I just need to clear my head so we can actually talk about the issue and sort this out, but right now it's just best to leave me be." You knew that Four cared about your well-being, but you also understood the importance of taking care of your own mental state. As you disappeared into the depths of the woods, you hoped that this time alone would bring clarity and peace to both your mind and the situation at hand.

Just as he was ready to respond with his complaint, there was a rustle close by. You both looked in the same direction and observed the area. As Four followed in action, reaching for and slowly drawing his sword in case there was any danger, you looked around the area where the sound originated. You remained still until a Lizalfos, along with many other monsters, sprang out of its hiding place and attacked Four head-on...

[goodluckclove]

I think the thing that stops me from writing is myself. I need to talk about my projects to stay interested but the second I tell anyone about my ideas, the interest is gone and my inner dialogue starts tearing my books apart. So then I end up in the plotting stage forever, or at chapter 3 with no clue how to progress and no interest to start. Doesn’t matter how long I work on the project for, it still happens. I end up in my own head about my projects and it sucks

Hi King. It's late Sunday night for me here in Portland - Wife has started what they call their "pre-sleep" ritual, which they claim is very useful for their specific type of ADHD wiring. I'll be handing off control of my blog to one of my novel's protagonists for the entirety of tomorrow (good luck, Edgar), but I've been thinking about your question since you sent it and I wanted to make a point to answer before dedicating my whole Monday to long-form roleplaying.

So people post about their projects online and it's cool. They talk about what they're working on, and sometimes they get loads of accolades and encouragement from well-meaning strangers online. It's very neat and it's very good, but at it's core it's not really something a writer needs at that stage. In fact, I think there's an argument towards saying that too much involvement in that culture can be actively toxic to a new writer's craft.

This may sound hypocritical coming from someone who's essentially liveblogging their quartet as they write it. But keep in mind that Migration Patterns is my fourteenth book. And in the fifteen years I've been writing I really wouldn't tell people about an idea until I was at least 10k words in. Maybe more. Maybe never. I have entire novels that no one in my life, not even my wife, know anything about.

It's fine. it's lonely and it's fine, and that's kind of the thing about our line of work in my thought.

An idea is a fragile thing. It's like an egg that needs to be supported on some kind of foundation to be displayed properly and safely, and for some people it takes a long time to build that foundation. I run a writing blog where I almost exclusively talk about writing and to writers, but in my Real Human Life I do not act like that.

I think I have two close people in my life that I bounce ideas off of the most - my wife and my best friend - and that's only because they're most likely to be nearby while I'm actively writing. It's helpful to talk out ideas. But what are you looking for when you talk about your ideas? Because people can't praise or critique what you write in any meaningful way until you actually write it, which I could see leading to frustration and ultimately losing interest in the work.

Here are some of the things I say when I talk about my writing:

"Hey give me a name for a person/place/thing."

"How do you think I could get out of [insert plot point here]?"

And that's pretty much it.

A writing blog does help if you don't post expecting feedback. I will screenshot excerpts I'm very proud of and post it with some commentary, something I've never had the courage to do until now, and it feels good just to hang in on the proverbial fridge. Most people just like it and move on, because they don't have the full context of the situation. But just seeing someone liked it is cool.

Ultimately though, if my entire audience despawned right now - well, I'd have some grander existential issues to worry about. But I'd still write. I'd talk about my writing to myself and to my characters. I'd go back to imagining what I'd say in interviews that'll likely never happen. All of that is fun and free and cops hate it.

Maybe the interest leaves when you talk to other people about your projects because they can't see it the way you can. That's not their fault, and it's not your fault. It certainly doesn't mean it's a bad idea. Overall, as much as I enjoy the sense of community here on Writeblr, we should definitely acknowledge the point in which it actually works against us and our craft.

Once you write enough of a project, assuming you've developed a productive work strategy, you will discover motivations to be interested. You are a perpetual motion machine of artistic development and no one else will build a track for you to follow that makes more sense than your own.

Hope that helps, friend.

[ornamentelle]

KHOC Week 2023 Day 1: Introductions

I decided to participate in @khoc-week this year! My second time doing it, so I'm excited!

I thought I would focus on my character Yui, who I talked about a few years back. She's a mostly cool and composed and sarcastic big sister who sometimes lets her anger get the best of her. Beneath her stoic facade, she feels things strongly and is a bit of a lonely, broken mess on the inside.

Yui comes from a story I’ve started and restarted multiple times at this point, which primarily follows her younger sister Hikaru after their home world is destroyed by Heartless during KH1. Yui is sort of the deuteragonist of the story; where Hikaru learns how to carve out her own role in life, Yui’s journey is about claiming her own identity after spending her whole life haunted by her mother’s (more or less literal) shadow. 

The whole Stonewall family has a very special place in my heart, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a soft spot for Yui in particular. I never did get far enough into the actual written story to dig into Yui’s side, but hopefully one day I’ll be able to get there! For now, I’ll just share some ideas that I had for her later.

Name: Yui Stonewall

Age: 20 in KH3

Appearance: Short and uneven red hair, often dyed dark brown; bottle-green eyes; tawny skin; 5’7” (170cm)

Home World: Polaris

Personality: Distant, sullen, grumpy, protective, sentimental

Yui is a very reserved person. Around strangers, she is usually polite and distant, if a little curt; around her family, she can be grumpy and irritable. Years of having her actions scrutinized and being the target of her mother’s frustration has led her to close up emotionally and keep other people at arm’s length.

As the eldest child of the family, Yui takes it upon herself to watch over her younger siblings. As much as they frustrate her at times, and despite often berating them for their poor decisions, she believes it’s her responsibility to keep them safe and will go through hell to do so. As distant as she can seem, she is fiercely protective of the few people she has in life that she cares about.

At heart, she is a sentimental person who fears losing the things she cares about, which in turn drives her to keep her distance to avoid pain. But deep down, she desperately wants to connect with people and forge a life worth living.

A Very Brief Background:

Yui was born in the distant snowy world of Polaris as the eldest child in her family and had a tumultuous upbringing. Her family was frequently on the move, and the pressure of being skilled swordsmen was pushed on them all at one point or another in part due to their dad’s legacy in a world where sword-fighting was the biggest sport. For Yui specifically, it meant rejecting the path in spite of her talent because it wasn’t what she desired to do, and because the nightmares of a past that did not belong to her frightened her away from wielding a blade.

Her relationship with her mother had been poor and outright hostile at times, and though she cared deep down for her younger siblings, she often felt envious of them. The potent darkness she housed within her was only exacerbated as the years ate away at her.

Over time she became trapped in a cycle of resentment and guilt, which came to a head when the Heartless overran her world and unraveled her very existence—body and heart. While her sister Hikaru would journey to find their scattered family, Yui was left to stew in all the negative feelings that had plagued her for her entire life. Eventually she—or at least part of her—ended up in the realm of darkness, where she met a lost Keyblade master… and from there, things began to change.

Fun Facts and Miscellaneous Notes:

Yui dyes her hair to look less like her mother. The two have a poor relationship, and Yui naturally looks like the spitting image of her—a fact she dislikes greatly.

Yui has an extremely potent darkness that she inherited from her mother (or perhaps it's better said that darkness escaped through her). Her darkness is her main source of power, but also the source of a lot of heartache.

She is a pescatarian.

She eventually works at Le Grande Bistro in Twilight Town.

Yui is a passionate violin player, though she is self-taught and rough around the edges.

Yui is bi with a stronger preference towards women.

[leighlew3]

Friendly neighborhood blob here again. I'm not from the US. So I have no real clue what Thanksgiving is about 🙊. But I do understand holidays get complicated when you're going through what you're going through. I've been through something like that a couple years back and I remember a very dull and sad Christmas. Just here to say much love 💜. I hope you're taking care of yourself. And I hope you're having a good time with your cats and your work and everything, all things considered. I hope you get at least some sense of momentary peace among all the craziness. Take care Leigh.

PS : The tattoos are cool.

Thank you so much for your kindness. 💜

It’s true, the holidays have been especially hard. But it’s to be expected, I suppose. And I’ve been working with my therapist on all of this because the first holidays (or any holidays and special days but especially these first ones) after losing the most important person in your entire life can definitely f*ck you up. Grief is truly a b*tch.

I was actually doing adequately “ok” lately but then all last week and these days leading up to Thanksgiving, I was crying every single day, missing Mom. But when I spoke to my therapist about it because I felt frustrated and like I was going backwards to a worse time or whatever, she made the great point to me that you can’t look at those things as a setback. That all of this is like a journey and it’s going to be up and down but just because the darkness hits again doesn’t mean that you’ve reverted back or that you’re getting worse or that you’re not making progress with the grief. If anything, the fact that you can have those really dark moments again, but still keep going and not crumble and not slip into self harm or whatever else… shows progress overall. So, yeah it truly is a process. I tend to be somebody who likes results and to fix things, etc. And tbh, I foolishly viewed grief as if it was something to conquer, and then move on from. But the reality is there’s not really any getting past it entirely. It’s always there. The pain of loss, missing somebody… it’s always there. Just like trauma. You just learn how to live with it more and more over time. 

Anyway, I got to spend Thanksgiving with my nephews and some friends/found family. I may not have hardly any family anymore, and I actually have no immediate family anymore, but I have a lot of people in my life that are truly good human beings who truly care, and I’m super grateful to have them. And this includes random strangers to emerging friends on the Internet like yourself, who have been so kind through all of this… the community around here and on Twitter and within the fandom, etc who have given me so much love and support during the worst time in my life. I can’t even express the gratitude properly, but I’m sending a huge thanks to all. Truly.

So, yeah, I’ve just been trying to focus on my nephews, my friends, my writing and a lot of exciting things that are happening around it, and yes, my two bat crap crazy cats. 😂💜

Lastly, thanks! I waited a significant portion of my life to finally get tattoos, alas I’m glad I did because I’m really happy with them, as they turned out great and mean a lot to me…

P.S. It is very true btw that if you get one, you’re going to want more. I now have three and there’s a fourth one I’d like to get soon, and who knows beyond that. 😅

[heresyourramen]

Starry Starry Night - Part 5

College AU, Bang Chan of Stray Kids x Female Reader (Self Insert)

Word count: 3154

Contains: *MINORS DO NOT INTERACT* fraternities, art, fluff, strangers to lovers, drinking and partying, sexual encounters, swearing, Hyunjin being dramatic and Han vs Hyunjinnie pre-debut like squabbling but nothing to vicious.

“For they could not love you

But still your love was true

And when no hope was left inside

On that starry, starry night…”

“I’m too old for this…”

His soft chuckle as answer sounds sweet and mingles in such a lovely way with the way the cool breeze is caressing your exposed and heated skin, if you stay outside for to long you might catch a cold.

But you were outside with this beautiful enchanting man you’ve been staring at every chance you got for the duration of this evening, honestly it was a wonder you didn’t notice him standing on the back porch since your eyes had been practically fucking glued to those plump lips and oh god that dimple.

Your so lost in thought you don’t realize you’ve been starring at exactly that but he’s sweet enough to just hold out a carton, assuming that you’re staring at the cigarette stuck between his lips.

“Here, have one. It kills us old one’s quicker.”

<Previous part - Next part>

When you walk back into the house you find yourself entering the fray of smoke, bodies and kegstands however when you enter the kitchen you notice most of the previous group had dispersed elsewhere. Hyunjin and Yuna had dissapeared somewhere as a pair, Felix was patting a rather pale looking Han on the back to comfort him while an anxious looking Jeongin stood beside him.

Changbin and Chan watched mildly amused at the two when you approached before both of their gazes fell back on you.

"You guys have any idea where Yuna and Hyunjin wandered off too?" Chan and Changbin shared a glance with one another before turning their attention to  you once again.

"Probably to look for a place to hookup." Chan said pretty unceremoniously and you huffed as you leaned up against a counter. You didn't mind it, the most frustrating part about the situation is simply that it means you have to find a different way back to your apartment or potentially stay over if they pass out in what ever broom closet the pair crashed in.

"I don't know about you, but I'm feeling like this party needs a little revitalizing." Changbin grabbed your shoulder and swiftly tucked you into his side.

"I don't know why but, I feel like I should be worried." Your gaze narrows at his devilish smirk, because nothing about it suggested whatever happened next didn't somehow involve you somehow. Changbin looked over at Chan that wore his own playful grin that only suggested trouble coming.

"There is no way this is safe." You stare at the open dancefloor, crowds now lining the wall as one of the tables previously stacked with beer pong was now stacked with two lines of shot glasses stretching its length.

"Oh its definitely not but I've been waiting to get my revenge since our first year." Changbin says as he cockily rolls up his sleeves.

"This is unfair!" You say outraged at the audacity of such a grudge, "I have been out of commission for a year and a half, its unfair stakes!"

"That's on you baby." Chan said as he finished pouring the bottle of clear liquor into your glasses.  You poke your tongue at your cheek, it wasn't that this was such a terrible fate. Rather it was just the idea of losing.

"Fine losers, get me a beer." You let your arms fall to your sides and you stretch them out, cracking your neck in a mock warm up.

"But if I throw up, you guys are the ones cleaning it up." You grin and Changbin rolls his eyes.

"Yeah that's right, pretty boy it's on you." You point before lining up in front of your first shot, hands clasped behind your back. He stands on the opposite side of the table and the music softens so the party goers shift more of their attention to the two of you, this would be the first of many of these games in the evening. 

"Rules are first one to finish the shots and shotgun the beer at the end of the table wins, one little trick no hands." Chan explains over the crowd and there's a few whistles and hollers before he starts speaking over the music again.

"Now let's countdown these two competitors, 5-4-...", the crowd finishes the count and you move forward. The first shot is bad but the rest following get worse, till your mouth feels like satan had pissed in it and successfully burned away the first layer of all you organs. The beer would be the worst part, refreshing but oh so gross mixed with the after taste of spirits. You start barely a second earlier on the beer and now everyone is cheering for who they are rooting for.  Changbin does seem to inhale the beer in two gulps and you're partially relieved you don't have to finish the horrible beverage.

Everyone is whooping and cheering and you can't but help but smile as you wipe of the sticky lines of alcohol that spilled in your hurry at Changbin's smug little face, It would take a single reminder it had taken him nearly three years before he managed to beat you.

The little competition continues until eventually the people who are more interested in the throwback tracks make the makeshift dancefloor in the other half of the room and it didn't take to long to join the group of familiar strangers. Somehow the night feels like one from years ago, when you were reckless and any worries were forgotten at the bottom of a bottle or on a strangers lips. So when a specific familiar face found you in the crowd reckless would be your only reaction, especially since your head was still fuzzy and body buzzing from the alcohol.

Chan smiled in return to your own lopsided one as the two of you slipped into a bubble. It was harmless, mimicking each others moves and then trying to one up each other with even more outrageous dance moves. On which included in Chan grabbing your hand and pulling you into a dip despite the close vacinity of the other dancing bodies. He pulls you back up but doesn't let you to far out of his arms. Instead a practiced arm wraps along your waist as he pulls you closer, a small closed lipped smile on his lips as his eyes met yours. he leads your body in time with his and his head dips past your head and a nose nestles your neck just before a brush of soft lips.

Even now, with the fuzzy brain there were red lights going off in the back of your head but you were ready to ignore it because something about the way his teeth dared to tease your skin was telling you, it would be some of the most fun you would have in a long time. He had the concious to pretend to be surprised when you turned and pressed your lips against his and he swept you under his spell again for the second time this evening.

"Is there a room somewhere with no people in it that we both know?" You mumble against his ear and you pull away to see confusion till it dawned on him what he was requesting. He let his arm retreat from its place around your waist his hand finding yours and lacing his fingers through his as he started leading you towards where you saw a staircase was nestled. As you started up, following after you dared a glance up and you saw at least a few more stories, some people leaning against the bannisters as you disappeared up and up would stop Chan with lazy smiles and easy greetings, but he thankfully kept each interaction brief.

Once you reach what seemed to be the final floor he lead you down the un lit hallway right to its end, he unlocked the last door and let you in. As you fell back onto the bed, sitting down you let your eyes scan the space for a second, your eyes run over a few posters, his neat desk with his headphones on a stand beside his laptop. You turn to face Chan again who looked down at you with a smile tugging at his lips as he pulled the black shirt he was wearing off and tossing it somewhere on the ground.

"I think you should even the playing field." He teased his dark eyes daring you but lucky for you this wasn't a game you were new too. He bit his lower lip as you pulled your own shirt over your head and having it join his shirt on the ground. "Come on Channie," you coax him closer with a smile, "middle schoolers move faster then this." He felt his chest flush as he blushed watching the way your eyes looked him over obviously trailing down his torso, past his abs and the v line that disappeared into his jeans. He shook his head at your teasing before making his way over, his fingers wound through your hair as you gently reached out finger tips tracing all the hard lines only teasingly grazing over the waistband of his jeans. You tilted your head your lips grazing the inside of his forearm with a butterfly kiss as your hand gripped his arm before your eyes met his and he directed you higher up on his bed as he slotted in between your thighs, lips finding yours and moving languidly as he held himself up above your figure.

"Chan?" Your voice coaxed him back to reality, your gaze pleading him to do something, anything and his gaze darkened from its lazy glare as he dipped his head kissing you hard and quickly before moving to the spot where your collarbone and neck created a hollow dip, he nipped at your skin with his teeth and you let out a moan your nails digging into his skin even as his tongue and lips eased the pain with kisses. Nimble fingers pulled down the straps of tour bra, and you arched your back so he could unhook it and pull it off. When he finally had it off you shared a grin before his plump lips met yours, gently moulding you into putty with each nip and suck. His lips dipped back to your neck and kept going until he was leaving a trail of bruises over the plains of your chest, soft moans of encouragement falling from you kiss swollen lips. He finally took a nipple between his lips, his hands still decorated with his rings moving up and down your thighs kneading them. The need between your legs became to much as you whimpered thrusting your hips up and you sucked a deep breath as you grazed your throbbing clit against the hardness behind the jeans as he moaned deliciously against your skin a new set of shivers running down your arched spine.

"Around here we use our words." he raised a brow his eyes glued to your already hooded gaze as he lowered himself his arms hooking under your knees and mumbling against the soft skin on your inner thighs. You huffed out frustrated as you rolled your eyes.

"I didn't realize you needed so much encouragement." You retorted as he undid your shorts.

"I prefer my partners being vocal about their needs and their boundaries." He said as he pulled your pants and panties off with one go and an evil little smile.

"You'll be the death of me if you don't start doing something." he smirked as he  left a trail of butterfly kisses  down the inside of your thigh sucking a a blue bruise right next to the spot where you so desperately needed his lips to be and you yelped at the teeth bruising the skin. All your words died in your throat as he licked a long wet stripe over your folds and clit before settling on suckling on your clit a long ringed finger teasing your leaking entrance as you unabashedly moaned out your appreciation for his ministrations, you nearly howled hands flying to his hair and pulling hard when he inserted two fingers into your pussy, briefly grazing the spot that made your back arch. They way you chanted his name as he pumped his fingers into you made it sound like a prayer, when his teeth grazed your clit you clenched around his fingers and he picked up his pace, his fingers pumping into you faster as your nails dug into his scalp a familiar knot forming in your stomach embarrassingly quick.  Your moans grew louder and he growled against your clit as you tugged at his hair especially hard, the vibrations tipped you over the edge and your walls clenched onto his fingers painfully and your leg caged his head in between them as he helped you ride out the orgasm, slowly moving his fingers in and out of you, each time glistening with even more of your cum, some of it making his rings slick until your chants of unsavory words and his name turned into laboured breaths.

"Fuck," he sucked the juices off his fingers as he crawled back over your dazed body ",after such a pretty thing, I can't wait to see what you like when I'm really done with you."

His raspy voice had your body reacting despite just having orgasmed and your lips moved against his lazily, tongue tasting whats left of you on his swollen lips and chin with a strange hunger that stirred deep inside you.

"Then do it, no one's stopping you Channie." You smirk against his lips  as your hand easily unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans where you had sneaked it between your bodies. You felt him halt and when you looked up at him you saw the surprise written all over his face at your shameless actions. He moves of you swiftly removing his pants and underwear so fast and with so much ease you couldn't help but think he's obviously had a lot more practice than you or maybe he was just that excited. He slipped between your thighs giving himself a few quick strokes and you watched as he slowly rolled on the condom he'd pulled from his bedside table, hissing at his own sensitivity. He positioned himself over you again and you moaned as he lubed himself up against your folds, your legs wrapping around his hips and digging your nails into his shoulders.

"Please..." your whine mirroring his own neediness as he finally positioned himself so his tip was against your folds.

"Tell me to stop when you want me too babygirl." he pecks your forehead waiting for your nod before slowly pushing himself into you, you throw your head back, as your back arched at the feeling of being stretched out, Chan watched where you two now joined groaning as your pussy suctioned onto him until his hips were flush against your own. He rubbed soothing circles on your hips with his thumbs as he waited for you to adjust.

"Move Chan, I need you too move." He started to shallowly thrust at your instruction, grateful, any longer and his dick would be throbbing painfully inside you. He pulled back and leisurely thrusted back into you,  touching parts inside of you, you forgot felt so good being touched. He started picking up his pace , his hips slapping against yours as his groans became muffled against your bruising skin as he planted open lipped kisses on your neck and skin between his lips, your walls tightened around him again as he started squeezing your thigh hard his rings cold against your fiery skin, his other arm holding your hips down as you arched every now and again.

"Fuck, feels so good..." he groaned beside your ear and again you felt yourself squeeze him, as your eyes rolled back as he brushed against that spot. He pulled all the way back , only the tip of him still inside and you gave him a confused look before he flipped you onto your side positioning himself behind you his hand snacked over your breasts before gripping your neck softly his other hand hooking your one leg over his side. He didn't give you one second to register what was happening as he thrusted into you hard as you let out a strangled scream at the pleasure. He thrusted into you mercilessly and held you in place, your body at his mercy as you felt the cold rings digging into your throat where he  held you down your back flush against his hard front, the faint pressure making you mumble incoherent gibberish, as he literally fucked you stupid.

"That's it baby, taking me so well." he cooed in your ear  his own laboured breaths brushing over your ears your hands clutching to his forearms to somehow try and centre yourself.

"Nng- Chan-" you moaned loudly when his grip tightened around your throat you'd have appreciated more if you weren't so fucking close to cumming.

"Your so beautiful babygirl, are you gonna cum again for me baby? Mmmm?"  the hand holding your leg in place as he pistoned into you moved between your legs and started rubbing circles on your clit, you nearly headbutted him with your rapid nods, tears in your eyes as that overwhelmingly addictive wave of pleasure started to build in your lower stomach, damn thise red flags from earlier this was great.

"That's it baby, such a good girl, cum for me." He growled his permission into your ear, squeezing your neck tighter before he nipped your ear, his dick felt like it was so deep it was buried somewhere between your organs your cervix and when he pinched your clit, it was over for you. Your head tilted back resting on his shoulder, mouth open in a silent scream and over his hands on your throat as he continued to relentlessly push in and out of you despite how hard your walls squeezed him effectively pre-longing  the high of your orgasm, it was one- two- three hard strokes and you felt his moan build in his chest against your back and nearly keened at how heavenly it sounded as it passed his lips as he came, his thrust slowing down as you both came down from your highs. It felt like hours  but was probably seconds as he pulled himself out of your already sore body and disposing of the condom before lying back down his arms pulling you back against him as he started placing soft kisses on your temples and down the trails on your cheeks your tears had left.

"You did so well baby..." he cooed, exhaustion evident in his voice. He squeezed you closer to him, his hand brushing sweaty strands behind your ears as you both got your breaths back.

"Come on...", his voice soft as he helps you up, grabbing random items of clothes in the dark as he lead your tired body by your hand, now draped in a towel he threw over you , to the bathroom to get cleaned up. Your legs felt like they might give out as you leaned against the shower wall the water running down your body as your tired arms scrubbed sweat out your hair, Chan practically held you up as he pulled one of his shirts over your head and you each shared a chuckle at your momentary imbalance before you could see again when your head finally emerged through the designated hole.

The party was still going by the time the pair of you retired back in his room, he held up the covers for you to get in with him and when you finally slid in he didn't seem to mind your damp hair pressing against him when you draped yourself over him like a koala, nose brushing against his neck in your already half asleep daze, in fact it was soothing his skin still hot from sex and the shower, you fell asleep to soft kisses placed on your forehead and soft circles being rubbed on your back, coaxing you to rest.

I'm back, and I bet no one really cares, but finally I have free time and so hopefully the next few parts will be posted not a year later like this one, anyway, love you mwah xoxo

[halethestilinskis]

"You Don't Know Who I Am?" Colin (Not Okay Movie) Imagine

AN: I did a thing!!!!! Haven't had the itch to write in a bit, but DOB always sparks it- love that man- let me know what you think, I might make a second part!

New York was a special place, full of.... special people. Tourist look at these streets like their dangerous and they will get shot if they look at a vendor the wrong way, or that food poisoning is common among the street food vendors, but in reality, these streets were your home, and you felt safer than ever here.

It was definitely expensive though, your 500sqft apartment in the city was close to $3000 a month, and you didn't make enough to cover that and other expenses, such as food, you ate a lot of ramen and chips. Cars were a luxury, but the good news about New York is you can pretty much walk anywhere. You had a crappy job interning for a magazine that didn't pay you nearly enough for the abuse you took. Writing columns in that ended up in the tiniest font on the very last page that no one cared about or bothered to read, about things you weren't even passionate about. Your parents liked to tell you, you were lucky to have this opportunity, to stick it out and see where it gets you, but it's been two years, and your boss still calls you by the wrong name, and you have to fix it every time you review the piece before it was published.

You woke up with a start, your boss was calling you before your alarm even went off, "hello?" you said sleepily, looking at the time. 6 AM, great.

"Where the hell are you?" she exclaimed, clearly frustrated. You sat in silence for a second while your stomach hit the floor, what day was it, were you supposed to be in the office early today? "If I have to repeat myself, you won't have a job."

"S-sorry" you stuttered out, about to vomit, "I didn't know you wanted me to come in early".

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" You could hear hand hit the table, "If you're not here in the next 10 minutes, you're fired- no don't give me an excuse, I don't care how far you live, get your ass in here".

Your entire body went numb, trying to think back to when she said she wanted you in the office early, you panic looked through your text messages with her, there was nothing in there, you even searched it in the search bar. Reality set in again, you jumped up , grabbed your bag and ran out the door, not bothering to get ready or dressed up, you couldn't afford to lose this job. The door closed and locked behind you. As you were waiting for the elevator you decided there was no time and took the stairs, already starting to sweat, you swung open the front door to the building, in to the cool, garbage filled air of New York, smacking face first into a bright yellow shirt and falling on your ass.

"Aye, shorty, you okay?" The blonde stranger asked, but you had no time for this. You gathered yourself together, grabbed your bag and jumped back up.

"I'm fine, sorry" you muttered frustrated. 8 more minutes or you're fired.

"Yo, you're bleeding" the stranger called after you. You looked down to see red running down your leg. "Fuck" you exhaled, starting to feel the tears of panic creep it's way out, your breathing suddenly rapid. Blood always made you feel faint.

"Oh, shit" you heard before you felt your body on the ground again, your vision a little blurry, "you good, girl?".

"I have to get to work" you gasped out, realizing you might actually lose consciousness, "call my boss", was the last thing you remembered before passing out.

Gasping for air, you woke up on the side walk, the blonde stranger kneeled beside you, your phone in his hand, "please don't steal my phone" you said, trying to take it out of his hands, but not having the energy to.

He smirked, "I don't need an iPhone 5, shorty". You rolled your eyes, seeing the glint of his Rolex in the process. "Is that the time?" you asked, suddenly alert, sitting straight up, your head was spinning, but you ignored it.

"Yeah" he said eyeing his piece, "6:07".

"Fuck" you yelled, grabbing your phone out of his hand and trying to break into a run, but your knee was hurting so badly, you had to settle for hobbling. The stranger seemingly shrugged and took a drag from his vape, turning to walk in the other direction.

You made it to the building at 6:15, 5 minutes later than what you boss had said, hoping she would just be grateful that you were here so quickly she would let the 5 minutes slide. However, in the 2 years you have been here, she has never let anything slide, and remembers everything like her life depended on it. She was waiting in your cubicle when you got there, a box next to her.

"I told you 10 minutes" she tapped her heel.

"I know" you gasped, swallowing hard, feeling the panic creep up again, "I ran out the door as soon as I got off the phone" you stated, showing your obviously poor bedtime attire, "I fell and ended up passing out for a few minutes, before I got back up and ran here", you pointed to your still bleeding leg that ran into your shoes and stained the tongue. You swallowed hard again, waiting for answer, your face burning red from both running and feeling so anxious and embarrassed. Co-workers were looking over their cubicles, their eyes wide with interest and fear.

"Y/N" she sighed, shaking her head. She knew your name? "When I say 10 minutes, I mean, 10 minutes, not 10 minutes and 3 seconds. 10 minutes. This isn't the first time we have had problems. You can pack your stuff and leave" she gave you a satisfied, fake sad smirk.

You felt rage bubble up in you, and you couldn't stop yourself, couldn't hold you tongue this time, you've been tiptoeing around this bitch for too long.

"You're a fucking joke, Cindy" you spat, " I have done nothing but walk on eggshells around you, for two years. I have submitted to every stupid request you give me. Worked overtime every week because you didn't like the way my column was formatted, or you didn't like the topic, even though that same topic was posted by someone else in this trashy magazine, a week later, and it went viral. You didn't even tell me you wanted me in early, you never even told me that you had any problems with me, so how in gods name was I supposed to know to be here at 6 AM?"

She smirked, knowing she won, "you have 2 hours to pack your things, or they will be thrown out, just like every column you ever gave me".

She walked away after that statement, her heels clicking matter of factly.

"When this magazine burns, I hope you know it was because of you" you muttered, shooting daggers into her back. You gave one last frustrated huff, and started packing your things, not letting her get the satisfaction of seeing you cry. However, you did make sure you left a nice bloodstain on the carpet when you knelt down, something to remember you by, or something to cost her money. Both would be better.

It took longer than expected to pack everything, you only expected to be there for 20 minutes or so, but turns out, you had a ton of crap here, all over the office, it took you over an hour to get everything neatly into the box Cindy gave you. Unpacking and repacking several times to make it all fit.

You held your head high as you walked to the elevator, hitting the down button and waiting impatiently for the doors to open. Cindy was looking at you as got into the elevator and turned around, you made sure you held eye contact until the doors closed. You hit ground floor, but it ended up stopping at level 2 for another person.

He glanced up from his phone at you and then back down to his phone. It took him a minute to side step you and press ground level, even though it was already lit up. He glanced over at you above the ray bans he was wearing.

"Aye, shorty, your the girl that passed out on the street this morning" he chuckled, chewing his gum and showing his perfect teeth.

"That's me" you groveled, not interested in having a conversation.

"You good?" he asked, taken a little aback, furrowing his eye brows.

"Got fired" you muttered, holding your box a little higher.

"Shit, that blows" he stated, then looked back at his phone. You wondered what he was doing here, did he follow you?

"Do you work here or something?" you managed to ask.

"Yeah, baby" he grinned, "I'm Colintheweedguy".

You're not sure if he expected you to know who he was, and you weren't one to hurt another's ego, so you just said "oh, cool".

His face dropped, he eyed you over his sunglasses again, and the door opened up to let you out of the elevator. He looked a little shocked and you didn't know what to say, so you just awkwardly smiled and walked away.

Colin walked out behind you, you could feel his eyes on your back.

"Aye, Colin" someone called, your turned around quickly for a peak to watch him dap up a friend and then make eye contact with you. Your whole face turned red, and you quickly turned around so he wouldn't see, and hurried to the door.

"Wait up, girl" he called and jogged up beside you, holding the door open that you were trying to shove open with your foot, "did you work here?".

"Yeah" you said as you tried to reposition your box so it wouldn't fall.

"And you don't know who I am?" he asked, a confused smirk on his face.

"No" you stated flatly, once again, not interested in conversation.

"Who'd you work for?" He asked, offering to grab your box for you, which you refused.

"Cindy on the 4th floor" you huffed, still trying to position your box so it was comfortable to carry for 10 blocks.

Colin took it out of your hands "Ha" he shook his head, "shorty's a bitch".

You were taken aback a little but relieved he agreed with you, and you instantly felt a little more comfortable in his presence. You chuckled, smiling for the first time today.

"That's who I was telling you to call when I was passing out" you stated.

"You couldn't pay me to call that girl" his demeanor suddenly changing. You didn't see when, but his sunglasses were no longer on the tip of his nose so he can look over them, but instead in the right place, he wasn't walking with a swagger anymore, and he lost the fuck boy accent real quick. You decided not to mention it.

"Where do you work?" you asked.

"Depravity" he stated, still speaking normally, "second floor".

"Ah" you nodded, "so you're a social media star".

"Hell yeah I am, baby" he said proudly, the accent coming back. He handed the box back to you and started to walk with that swagger again. You cocked an eyebrow at him as he took a hit from his vape.

"Colin!" you heard someone scream, "Aye, yo, Colin!". He looked around and found them across the street as he blew the smoke out of his mouth and nose, basically blinding him, he waved.

"Sup my dudes" he yelled back, lowering his sunglasses again like he was Mike from Jersey Shore. You rolled your eyes and kept walking. His little fan boys went away, and he caught up to you, "they love me out here".

"I can see that" you stated, raising your eye brows, "your demeanor changed real quick when you saw them and thought I knew who you were".

"Nah, I'm the same person, I ain't fake and shit" he looked offended.

"Okay" you stated, not continuing this conversation, "this is me".

"Shit, girl, you live in the slums" he chuckled, taking another hit on the vape.

"Thanks" you rolled your eyes and typed in the code to your building.

"Hit me up on Insta" he called as the door closed. You shook your head, confused about this day.

You hit the button to go up to your apartment, allowing yourself a moment of silence on the ride up, letting the events of today sink in. The bell dinging brought you out of your thoughts. The building was seemingly empty, everyone was at work, which simply reminded you, you were unemployed. You kicked the door open after unlocking it and placed your box on your counter, sighing deeply and heading to your bed.

You weren't sure what the next few months would bring, you didn't have money saved up to stay here, and your parents weren't the most inviting people. You let a quiet sob out, tears hitting your comforter, and crashed back. You'll figure it out, you always do., but for now, it's okay to mourn a bit.

[secretbangtnn]

Love Lies | kth I

➤ summary : You never had it easy. From the first day of your life it seemed like fate was a big joke, making every effort to make you feel miserable. Shortly after taking the first step into adulthood, you are convinced that childhood doom follows you like a shadow. On the verge of being broke without any help, you take your friends advice and try your hand in industry you have no idea about.

➤ genre : CEO! au, prostitution but not really au, strangers to enemies to lovers, Smut, fluff, angst

➤ pairing : Taehyung x reader ft. Jimin (This chapter Jimin x reader)

➤ ratings : 18+ NSFW

➤words : 10k

➤ warnings : swearing, prostitution, sex for money, mentions of mental health, toxic household, mentions of violence, explicit sexual content, mxm, fxm, family problems, dishearitance, toxic relationship, Taehyung is bad at feelings, reader is lost, soft boy jimin, sexy hot taehyung (couse that will need a warning) - more to be added

notes ~

I finally did it! I'm so sorry for the wait and how the chapter came out - it's a little more messy than I predicted but i wanted to give you something before the big story. I promise the next chapter is going to start with the big action and main plot and finally with Taehyung. I really hope for some feedback, I worked hard for it to be done before the next week and even though it may seem boring i really hope it’s okay.

taglist:

@jinssexytoe @danyxthirstae01 @alwaysasadaesthetic @luvmingyu @chimincubus @minshookie29

Underneath the sunrise

Show me where your love lies

Relationships that are based on lies never last long and everyone who found themselves in artificial feelings, knows of the truth of those words. Although that sweet sinful lie sometimes replaces that thing we could have never got.

You never thought about yourself as someone low, at least not that low to kneel to beg of something so materialistic like money.

You respected yourself at the same time being sure that you would fight everything alone. Just like a good fighter - you didn't need a good sword in a big war. Even once in your whole life you wouldn't have thought of stepping that low to actually work as a cleaner in old school or supermarket lady, that couldn't even use the calculator right.

How ironic, we love when inevitable doom falls on people that did not deserve it.

You were taught from the beginning, how to live, what to do, how to look, and the most important who to listen to. It's so weird when we find a character that's not extremely bad or good, not the shy mouse of the school, also not the hot rebellious cool girl with too big ego, and mouth so unbelievable that you actually start to think if you have ever met someone without such basic manners.

Fact is that you are bland, your life never yours to live, as someone recorded it with a script in their hands, and a plan for an ending and second part. It was frustrating knowing how many people never cared about you, however you could not say that you indeed did too.

Lessons were taught, those made you somehow resistant to disappointments in life. First happening in early stage, not even first year of your high school, people started to know - know about this and that, about family of yours and how privileged they would be if they had you on their side.

But you did not have a problem with it, mindset so set that you liked to think about money as a guarantee of friendship. And with this thought you let the first people use you, not minding their motive of only getting part of your prosperity.

So you believed to those days that your childhood indeed was normal.

You never tried to run from your life, you never saw yourself as a hormonal teenager in need of attention.

In the end only those who were born in respecting families, where work and pride is placed higher than blood ties, knows how upringbing really looks in such a household. Your standart always high, doing that to not need to put it higher again.

Parents instilling you dreams that were not yours, making you believe in something they always wanted. Like it was written, your whole life does not belong to you, and realization over it came in the moment when it was a little too late. Happy smiles never real, friends you swore would not leave you, disappeared within a night.

However let’s not impose that your parents were monsters, killing you on the inside with their cold demeanor or making your life miserable.

The first problem began when you had enough, when a virus in your mind told you about your own desires.

You remember this day like it was yesterday. Invisible mark on your check is still pulsating, with a wound much deeper inside screaming at you that it is still not healed.

“I want to study medicine.” Those were the exact words you first told your mother, freezing her in place and scarring inside with the power and destruction they held. She did not hold back with ignoring you, acting like the sentence was a mere passing wind, just fluffing hair in a not nice type of way. You expected that, nothing new from a shell of a person your mother has become, money and power empowering her mind, probably killing the young woman you are now, in her.

So the first step of actually making a point of how you processed to cut your family ties, were with your mother, kind of preparing you for what has to come.

Dark room, with marble accents and a woody smell that came straight to your nostrils. Mahogany desk, big enough to contain tons of papers scattered over it like some kind of nto important rubbish. You however knew better, and those innocent stock of inked pages held more value than maybe you yourself.

It was so hard to breathe in this tiny space, now feeling ever more closed up, dark and not welcoming. You tried to believe that the reason for it was not really a man sitting just before you, not minding your presence in a slighlets, but a stress and emotions on your back, you were trying to bear by yourself.

“I’m busy.” Short answer, not even directed to you - not that the man ever looked at you with those dark eyes. Predictable, exactly like you guessed. Cold feeling with a hot flush over your cheek, not knowing where the previous patience had gone.

Maybe you finally had enough. You were too tired to try to understand.

“Dad, please listen to me.” Ice cold bucket over your head, a void eyes now on you, not really expecting them to stay on you for so long, or even look up. Pupils a little blow out, stirring the dark color pallet of his eyes, similar to the tone of the bags under them. What a wrack of a man he really was, lanky hands under the suit, scribbling over something not even a minute ago, now lying lifelessly on a brownish desk.

“You really couldn't find better time for your whining? Go on, I still have a lot of work to do before I need to actually go.” Unconcern, you could even feel the unitresment oozing from him, hitting you with those eyes. They were looking at you, but at the same time it felt like they never were there. Black holes, no feelings found, gaze scary for those who never met someone so indifferent.

“I dropped out.”

“What?” Words came after some silence, piercing straight your beating heart. Hands in fist, just beside your thighs, so white that it could even be a little concerning for those looking from the side. You were nervous, even after you told yourself that this conversation was not going to be easy. Smooth information that it should be, your own life choices never discussed so openly.

“I dropped out of college”

Not a breath was heard, a heavy hand landed on the desk with a smack, knocking in the process some of the scattered pens.

“You did what?” Too calm, his voice was too calm for such information. Nerve wracking feeling once again welcomed you inside, making you take one step back. Soft material of the shirt creased under your hard grip. “It’s not the time for such a jokes Y/n”

“I’m not joking dad, I took the papers yesterday. I'm tired of wasting my time on something I never wanted.”

“Oh? But are you really? What are you going to do then? I'm getting really curious” Tone momocking you in every kind of way. You clench your teeth, an annoyed expression came over your face, just to disappear within one glance of the man.

Questions were rhetorical, laughing at your whole being in the cruelest manner. He knew about your every vulnerability, molding your persona from the beginning. So it must have been funny for him, seeing a little girl, someone he treated not entirely equally, however putting some kind of hope and dreams he himself could not reach, standing before him like a scared puppy asking for a treat.

“You yourself know the best how important those studies are for you. You prepared your whole life to go there and take my place one time, so don’t joke about it like it’s some kind of dish you are bored of eating.”

“You forced me to do it! I never wanted to take your place, study the stupid law.”

“And you decided that this is the time to suddenly realize that? Y/n from the beginning, we always gave you what you wanted, fulfilling your every wish, buying everything you wanted, and even after that you can’t be grateful. We only asked you for one thing, one thing Y/n, there is not such a thing like your dreams, there is only our family.” You wanted to laugh, those stupid exucess, only making you annoyed and wroked up. Manipulating you into believing you were selfish, that you are the problem, and you owe them right to living.

“Don’t be ridiculous father, you are not in the place to talk about family or do I need to remind you of Na-”

You heard it before you felt it. Burning feeling right in your left cheek, head on the side from the harash contact it made with the ringed hand. It was not the first time you saw or experienced such an act. Father being the man that loved to lose his temper rather fastly, hiding on the outside behind the calm demeanor and innocent smile.

Blood on your tongue, the metallic taste in your mouth like a forbidden flower you just tasted.

“You really want me to get mad today hm? “ You really wanted to nod, looking straight at him from your hair that fell after the slap. Hand on the cheek, trying to stop the pulsating ache to echo so much, however you know the best that the hot feeling is only building up and it's the only matter of time till the beautiful tones of purple show on your soft skin.

His own hands now begin viped over the handkerchief, a little blood over the white fabric, likely from the little scratches the rings were able to make.

His back to you as he went back behind the dark desk, sitting on his chair like nothing happened. And you knew, secretly that it was the end, that the conversation was done and nothing else could be said.

You closed your eyes, not even noticing you did it, realizing it after the first salty tear fell to your mouth, giving you a taste of sorrow. Head down, not in shame but in anger, with a pulsating cheek not letting you forget about the consequences your every word bears, you turned around going to the door that before somehow gave you so much hope.

“Oh and Y/n, there is no you without this family, but there is family without you. It won’t be the first time when I lose a child.”

Those exact words hunted you till this day. Rather heavy feeling, three years not long enough to make you forget, or let you accept a new life.

Loud noise of passing cars just outside the dirty window with a pounding of heart echoing in your ears. It was one of those bad days - you liked to say, those however started happening a lot of more. Breaking was never something you wanted to do, working so many jobs you could not count on your fingers, living in shitty apartments for no longer than two months just to end up on someone's couch.

That is the life you chose, the life you barely lived, everyday wishing for a miracle.

Harsh paper under your fingers, weighting your hand weirdly down - maybe it was the words that made the letter so heavy, maybe the truth you needed to face. Fact is that you do not know what to do, trying for the last months to make a living for yourself, get better pay and settle down for a longer time.

Words of your father echoing once again, making your eyes squish with the feeling. It was so hard to accept a defeat, something that you worked so hard for and for so long. You could not beg, you could not go on your knees again, and even if it was an option, imagines and memories of life in such a household keep you in the place you are now.

Head resting under your arms, shielding bright rays of sun from your eyes, long locks falling down in waves just over your pale face. You pulled them with a strength you did not know you possessed at the moment, as if it was because of them you needed to deal with all of this.

“Think Y/n, think” Mutters fell from your mouth like a mantra, supposed to make you cheer up a little. Void in your head, not ending emptiness that scares you as much as the strings of unpaid numbers on this goddamn paper.

An late hour struck on the side clock, hanging on one of the grey walls of the run down apartment you lived in. Sight itself is depressing, leaving you in wonder if maybe it is not one of the reasons for your current mood.

Who you wanted to trick.

A little knock once again echoed in the quietness of your home, reminding you of the late hour. Looking from your thick locks of hair, you sighed seeing how little time you actually got to get there. With one move, you left the scrap of paper on the side, and stood up from the ugly green couch, taking in the process bag of the crookedly hanged hook.

Fast footstep as you nearly run over one of the olders ladies living in the same flat, trying to messily wrap an apron over your waist, which is not as easy as it seemed to be earlier. Bluish fabric holding on to you with all the power, hanging a little on the too long strings, that untied themselves with each step.

You tried not to think about all those stares, looking at you as you run past them, not minding where your feets go, or if you accidentally push someone on the side. Let people think what they want, it's not like your opinion matters, and being a disgrace to your whole family disappears.

Familiar neon letters came to your sight forming the greenish title of caffe you soon found yourself in. A little bell rang as the door opened informing everyone about your presence. Calm atmosphere, everyone was busy in their own word, you loved this, a quiet place which you often found yourself admiring.

You wished that working there was not such an obligation, the only thing that let you stay in your current apartament. Rosy cheeks, and cheeky smiles as people got their morning coffee, thanking you quietly for the drink with such a pure impression, that you could not hold back the smile you gave each one of them.

“I’m so sorry for being late, I hope you didn’t need to run too much.” You said between heavy breaths, still trying to catch remaining puffs of air, head tilted to the side, hands on knees as you looked at the little blonde behind the counter.

Said boy only laughed a little, shaking his head from the embarrassment after the statement. Ringed hands cleaning some cups, quiet melody living his plump lips.

“Am I suppose to feel offended? I’m not an old man you know.” He asks, knowing that the answer will never be given. Voice on the lighter side, something you would expect from such a soft looking boy, warm and sweet to listen, and you indeed do, always keeping quiet when the boy talked about his own day to fill the quietness of your workplace.

You knew the boy was one of the things that made you feel normal, with his bright persona and angelic personality, you liked to believe he was one. He did not ask, knowing some things should stay in the dark, and you repaid him the same, being fully aware of the boy's secrets.

“Not at all. Beside we all know that it's not about you, but about who will get in trouble from your whining - and yes, it would be me. “ You say, patting his back on the way to the other side. Confused gaze now on you, as you smirk at the questioning boy waiting for some kind of elaboration, only getting from you another cup to wipe.

“Should i remind you of a certain person, which came to me with a complaint of how his favorite boy was tired - what was his name? Oh yeah Yo-”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

You laughed at the squeaky voice that came in a form of fast spoken answer, a little too fast to understand every word completely. Pretty blush came over his round cheek, soon appearing on tips of his lears, hidden by mop of blonde hair.

Not a piece of judgment in your gaze, but rather sweet caring look over the embarrassed boy next to you, trying so hard not to look bothered by your everyday teasing, that he was slowly getting accustomed to, liking how your voice gets a little lighter, your eyes light up and a pure giggle leaves your mouth.

Yeah he definitely could live with it if it means he can see the sparkle pops out in the dark of your pupils.

Cup in his hands a little heavy with the next thought that came over him. Melody coming with the pleasant wind of the early monday morning, his eyes however discreetly gazing over your figure. He knew when the times were worse, when your collarbones stood out more, welcoming i'm from the collar of an old shirt, you probably needed to wash by hands, and he hated that even if he tried to explain it, not care so much, he simply could not stop the worry seeking of him.

You were a sweetheart, never judging him, understanding his reason even after he told you about the second job he needed to take. You simply smiled, wishing him all good, and getting excited about dreams that were not your own, laughing with him and talking about his future plans as if you had place in them.

Thanks were never enough to pay off all the hardship you helped with. He respected you, admired so many things about you, how you don’t need a reason to give an arm to cry on, always taking a piece of burden on your own shoulders, whispering promises and talking about a better future that comes with hardships.

“Don’t be so embarrassed~ “ You sing to his ear when you pass him, going over to the coffee machine, big bag of beans in your hands. “I dare to say I got a little jealous when I saw him for the first time.”

“Gosh I hate you sometimes.” He whines, throwing his head back, closing his eyes to remain calm. Smile now on your lips, little giggles leaving your busy persona, trying not to be too loud in such an early hour.

An enjoyable silence came over once again, only sounds of working machines and knocks of cups, that were cleaned and wiped, mind automatically getting fuzzy from the fresh brew of coffees and autumn wind. Not a person in a shop, being still a little too early to welcome customers or get a morning drink, subtle music playing a little louder at those times filling little breaks of silence.

So how surprising it was, when those little giggles tickled your own ears suddenly and strong arms, clothed in white shirt, sneaked around your waist, making you lose the focus on filling the cup with beans. Blonde hair over your cheek, stroking the soft skin with a funny feeling, only pushing you to squirt more.

“You know if you liked him so much, you could have just said. I would think of something.” He whispers mockingly, smacking his lips in the end. Shiver comes with his next move, hands on your hips, keeping them from stirring so much, hot and on the smaller side however still noticeably bigger than your own. “Sadly I do not share my clients.”

With those words, he quickly detaches himself, hitting your bum with a cheeky smile that you soon could see right before you as the boy grabs one of the fresh croissants, putting the whole thing into his mouth.

“It must be big for you to say that.” You laugh, looking at the choking boy with the same expression he was giving you not even a minute ago.

“That was totally inappropriate.” Says blonde, chugging a glass of water you gave him out of pity.

“Now, don’t play an innocent Jimin, I see how you look at that one girl that comes here every friday. Didn’t you even memorize her order - gosh i heard you repeating it so many times that I know it myself.”

“Okay, okay maybe you are right, but it doesn’t mean you can judge me.”

“Would I ever?” A dramatic sight from the boy's accusations leaves your lips, you touch your heart looking at him with the most hurt eyes you could manage to do, a little tear spins in your eye. Mouth full of baked goodie, he laughs showing a little of non eaten food, with a proud expression to it. Your own smile now noticeable on face, happy feeling over your whole being, loving how this short amount of time with the bubbly boy let you forget about some problems. You take one of the left rags of the counter and throw it at his face, hoping to get him to work. “Stop eating! We are opening soon and I don't want to listen to how the coffee machines should be ready before the first client, because someone didn’t want to move his ass.”

“Just say you don’t want to deal with that old raisin.”

Nobody did, but Jimin had some superpower you sadly did not possess, and could at least shut the old businessman that somehow always comes first. Coming back to an earlier job, you pour black beans in the measuring cup, trying not to let the weight of the bag swoop you.

Place once again in a nice atmosphere, Jimin singing somewhere in the back, probably preparing syrups and goodies, sorting eveyrything on the displae plate. You two fell in a pleasant rhythm, doing your jobs like robots, knowing where things should go, and how not to disturb each other in the middle of action.

And it was something you really enjoyed, that piece and order, making you feel secure at least in such a place. Like you had power over your own life, your hands did what you wanted, your mind clear with tasks to be done.

Peace.

You both knew that this place was a mere act in the theatre of lies, you played in. Cafe such like that one, a happy place for two broke students, that tried everything in their power to make a living, pursue dreams so far away, still hoping that they are not going to disappear with all the hardships.

You could just drown in this lie of beauty picture you painted yourself, pretending your lifes do not look as bad, and even though you did not know the boy so well, you could tell from his eyes that he indeed is a player in the same game as you.

The truth being you did not know each other, you were not close. You knew about his job, about his own problems - some of them left unsaid, but who could you judge when you acted exactly the same.

Understanding from each other was enough.

However the boy tried to help you, offering sum of money or better paid jobs in times when you were too tired to hide it, those although - he learned after some time, never were an option for you.

And so with the next passing wind, the first client came welcoming you with kind of a grumpy smile, wishing for you to just make him the coffee. It was as always, a busy morning on the first day of the week, that always seems a little more crowded than any other, with business men and middle aged women trying to get over their morning sickness as fast as possible.

You saw the girl you talked about some minutes ago, looking from her covering eyes bangs, squashed from pink beanie on her head, nevertheless still laid perfectly. A little wave, hand hid under the panda mittens she liked to wear every other day the temperature goes down.

You smiled at the interaction, the excited smile on Jimin's face he tried so hard to hide, not doing a good job with his nearly nonexistent eyes that disappeared just because of it. She was pretty, a student in a university you both go to, however you were not sure what exactly she was majoring in.

Her funky style makes you take a shot at something related to fashion, but that might be completely wrong and the girl could just like wearing such bright clothes.

“Love the mittens, they look nearly as cute as you.” You heard, looking back from your busy hands, to gaze at the flustered pair. Adorable giggle soon leaves her mouth, covering lips with the said gloves as her own eyes disappear from weirdly similar eyesmile.

Jimin was a sweetheart, someone who deserved a happy future. And so you did everything to make that happen, wishing him the best and trying to help him even if it means your own happiness goes on a second plan.

“I'm sorry but could I order.” Coming back to your own job, you look up immediately, catching the gaze of one of the clients you did not recognize.

“Oh yes of course, I'm sorry for the wait. What can I get you?”

----

A loud noise of a closing locker echoes in a quiet room in the back of the coffee shops. Night air chilling from the open window you opened some minutes ago, to get rid of a smell so many people.

The calm of the room soothing your buzzing nerves and shaking hands, that always seems to do it after a hard day of work. Your attention now somewhere else as you try to take off the blue apron, laying it somewhere on the lonely bench next to you.

It was a busy day, helping you forget about what waits for you at home, and what person will probably visit you in the meantime. You didn’t like those times, the quiet after such hard working hours, leaving you with anxious thoughts rotating around the same problems you tried so hard to run away from.

So you tried once again, silence your mind with your hands, taking every job you could, now wiping lockers that never needed to be wiped before. The same rug from before in your hands, sliding over an uneven surface.

“Y/n?” You jumped from the sudden voice, swearing that Jimin was in the other room just a second ago. Turning around, you try to look unbothered, clenching the old rug in your hands with such interest. A little noise comes from your mouth, hum to let him know you are aware of his presence.

“Everything alright?” He asks a little unsure of the question, looking at you from the other side of the room, close to the door connected to the main room.

“Yeah, why would there not be?

“You were cleaning the lockers like not even a minute ago.” He says without thinking. Voice somehow suspicious, full of hidden concern as his suspicions from before seem to be true. You were not alright, and Jimin knows exactly what it may be. “If you need hel-”

“I'm alright! I'm really alright there is no need to worry, I'm just stressed because med major is harder than I thought.” The sigh is enough to let you know that he is not buying it.

Hard steps as he comes closer, opening his own locker situated right next to you, eyes glazing back at you from his clothes is started to put back. Tight lipped smiles is the only thing you are capable of answering with, catching his dark stare for a second.

“Im worried, and I know what you want to say, but I can’t help it. You are always the one that takes my burden so why can I not do the same?” He closes the locker with too much strength, making you jump again from the loud noise.

“It’s different.”

“How is it different? You help me with everything, you let me cry, you let me crash at your apartment when my parents try to make a mess again, so what’s the problem with me?! You don’t even want to tell me what's wrong dammit.” His eyes glassy from all the emotions, hands in a fist as if he tried to hold himself back. He turned completely to you, cornering you to the lockers behind, not letting you leave this time.

“Is it because of my work? Are you ashamed to take dirty money from someone who can’t earn normally and needs to sell themself. Is it this?! Tell me Y/n, I’m tired of seeing you in such a state, you are my friend.”

“You know it’s not that.” You tried to argue catching his watery eyes.

“So tell me, tell what is going on.”

Your own mouth in agape, words lost somewhere in the back of your head. So many years going alone, keeping everything to yourself shows itself with such a hestation of saying easy words that could let you breathe easier at night.

But would they really?

Giving someone your own burden was something you were taught as a shame. Problems should stay in family, and even there your father always told you to fight them alone.

“I - “ Eyes hopeful, looking at you with new found desperation. Big and different from the ones he was giving the sweet girl with panda mittens, and that alone made you sick knowing that the sparkle left because of you. “I’m sorry Jimin I just can’t.”

And you broke. With the remaining energy you mustered, you fell onto Jimin, him nearly not catching you on time. First tears fell, with such a power, rolling down your cheeks, wetting the soft fabric of Jimin’s shirt. You did not know why, why now you decided to just let go, sobbing so much, hoping the boy will understand that you only need someone to hold you.

And he did, wrapping his arms so securely around, letting you hide the red face in a crock of his neck. Fresh smell of flowers and perfume he always wore with a noticeable hint of coffee, you probably possesed yourself. Quiet whispers of comfort, tickling your scalp a little, hands patting your hair with care, brushing them with such a delicacy, like he secretly knew how breakable you are now.

“It’s going to be okay.” Void promise, his lips close to you kissing your forehead, with shaky hands trying so hard to gather every tear that fell down. With a little move he sat on a bench, an apron which you earlier left there dropped on the floor, a quiet thud ran in the small room, you on his lap, trying so hard to become smaller nearly molding in the bigger body of Jimin’s.

Sorry’s fly through your mouth, realizing it after Jimin's starts to rock your body. He peels your face from the safe space of his neck, wiping your running tears with both of his thumbs and trying to smile a little.

“I know it’s hard, but sometimes we need to let someone in, let them help put broken pieces together.” Eyes shining in the dim light of the room, your mouth ready to disagree quickly however quieten by his own speech. ”I know what you want to say Y/n” He starts again taking a big breath. “Being helpless doesn’t mean being weak, asking for help is not something to be ashamed of. Being strong however - is letting someone in, taking they hand and standing up with them - you have to have courage to do it, and I know you do to - but whoever put such a toxic mindset in you, keeps you from it and you need to realize that there is no longer people who will judge you for falling down a litte.”

Eyes falling down, sore from all the crying that has no plans to stop. You wipe the snot with your sleeve as well as wet cheeks, laughing a little after it, sniffles in the room as you try to calm yourself a little.

Jimins gaze still at you, now softer still brushing your hair in a calming manner with the second hand drawing circles on the side of your waist. It was shameful, hearing such words, knowing deep down they were true, but too prideful to agree with them.

“Gosh If I knew you cry like that, I would take a bucket with me. I wouldn’t need to pay water bills for like two months with it. “ He laughs as you smack him with your hand. Smile on your face, you tilt your head leaning on his arm with all the weight, a small sigh leaves your mouth. Smell of coffee now is more prominent with his own perfume, which he wears everyday, pushing your mind into own fuzzy feeling. “You know that I will always be there for you, right?”

A silent nod is enough, not too much to say after such an outbreak from your side still buzzing inside you. You know it was true, with how much you both came through together, it would be stupid to leave someone who become somehow a safe heaven.

“What are you going to do now? You won’t take any money, I guess you either are not going to be too willing to crash in my apartment.” Your head immediately shots up, eyes searching those of Jimin. A look of confusion cross your face for a second, with the words repeating in your mind once again. His face however is still serious, not leaving your surprised gaze.

“W-what how do you kno -”

“Your landlord called, I didn’t want to disturb you on your break - by the way I saw you sleeping you are not as sneaky as you think.” He interrupts you in the middle of talking, brushing his hair.

You frown, looking in disbelief at the boy, a little upset from the news. Touching your phone was okay, but taking a call and not saying anything, it just fell wrong.

“So why were you trying so hard to force me to talk?” The questions came a little more aggressive than intended, but who could you blame when your private life was exposed so easily. Truth being that you felt not as angry as embarrassed, never sharing such information before leaving them in the dark.

“I know you would be angry when I tell you about the phone - which I was right about.” He pouts looking somewhere in shame, like a child that was caught with sneaking sweets.

“But it doesn’t matter, what are you going to do without help? It’s not like our boss will gave you a rise from nothing, and do not even think about starting another job - we have studies, it would be plain stupid unless you ask your family for help, you never mentioned them but they would understand right?.”

“They sure would.” You sneer, standing up from the comfort of his lap. Your smile turned down on the mention of those people, it's not like you want to have something going on with them, it would be asking satan for help and that always comes with a price. “Thanks for everything Jimin, but I will be alright.” You add walking back to the hatstand where your hoodie hangs, grabbing it with your free hand, second one carrying the bag. Jimin's eyes follow you, surprised by the sudden movement and innocently big, like he waited for some better explanations - which he won’t get.

“B-but wait! Where are you going, don’t leave me like that!” You heard the shouts, desperate movements in the previous room meaning the boy tried to catch up, however you were long ago outside the cute coffee shop, starting the journey to your quiet apartment. Maybe it was mean, and maybe Jimin was too good to be treated like this, but your own mood was now too fragile to stay in the same room as the insistent boy.

Autumn wind welcoming you once again, cold weather sneaking inside your clothes, the light hoodie not doing any justice with such temperature - still it was the only thing you owned with better quality. Head full of thoughts a little overcrowded with a starting headache, not letting you walk in a peace you somehow needed just now.

Walk to your house - at least the recent one, was not one of the long one, rather passing as a nice stroll. And even though your shifts ended in night hours, the quiet and calm way never made you feel scared of any sudden dangers awaiting you on Seoul's streets. It was a nice neighborhood, one where families that were a little lower than middle class tried to make a living, keeping their kids in a safe environment. Happy smiles and laughs welcoming you sometimes in the morning, kids rushing to their own school, greeting you even after those months you stayed there, only making you nostalgic at the thought of leaving such a safe haven.

So it was more than surprising when a quick footstep rang in your ears, soon nearing you even faster. Your beating heart now rapidly knocks in your chest, as your eyes try to search for the reason for those sounds.

You didn’t need to search for loong, soon hearing the screech of a voice not so far from you. “Y/n! Wait for me!” It was even worse when the little man started to dramatically draw his hands to touch, however your concern only lay in the thought of waking up the whole neighborhood. Eyes slitted, an annoyed expression crossing your face at the sight of the panting boy, soon stopping before you, not without tripping and nearly taking you with him. “You… really want to kill me.”

Heavy breath hitting your face, his voice strained and tired from the miles he needed to run to catch up to you. You however were more than a little shocked - yes Jimin is stubborn, and yes he is the person to run after someone just because the said person lost a penny, but his appearance here was different. It was crossing the invisible line you both draw, accepting each other's bubble of comfort.

So the question still stayed, your face hard with a thundering gaze waiting for the boy to calm a bit.

“Why did you suddenly leave?” Seriousness leaked out from his tone, however the way his eyes scrunched only meant that he indeed felt a little hurt from your previous action. And you don’t even wonder why, knowing how your choices could wound the innocent boy. “Is it about your family? If its a soft topic we can never talk about it ag-”

“You want me to walk away again?” His eyes got bigger at your cold tone, his foot taking a step back. Your family, the topic you did not want to bring up today, explaining the harsh demeanor you suddenly took. Eyes however softened as fast as they met the boy’s hurted ones, a gulp of remorse sliding down your throat. “Look - I appreciate your help but I don’t need a person to be helpless with.” You took a step forward placing your hands on the boy's arm, squeezing it in reassurement. Looking him straight into eyes a sight left your mouth soon forming in a little awkward smile - the only one you could force yourself into. “You helped me enough, there is nothing else you can do, It’s not your battle to fight you have your own problems and asking you to take mine would be cruel.”

And how awful it was to turn back leaving him again, you did just that, giving him the last pat with a smile. His own mouth opening and closing, agape from the schock you probably left him. And you were sure that this time he will let it go, your words full of coldness not leaving room for arguments.

“But what if I do?” His voice stopped you in the middle of the step, freezing your form with a new squeeze in stomach. You did want to hope for nothing, feeling how your eyes got bigger in surprise, being so close to turning back to face the blonde boy. “What if I can do something?”

“Jimin we are over it - I won’t take any of your mo-”

“I didn’t mean that. I’m not that stupid to not understand first hundret times you made it clear.”” You turn at his clear voice, full of seriousness and unsaid promises. New thoughts fell over your messy mind, Jimin’s voice still ringing in your ears as well as the hot gaze he kept on you, fixated on your weirdly sluggish posture. You were more than confused, his help however not new for you, the sudden change of demeanor was like a bucket of cold water maybe pushing you into admitting that the boy indeed had some kind of solution. “Please try to listen to me first and please try to be open minded.” He adds taking a big breath making him close his eyes for a second, only to stare at you even more firmly, nearly hiding his shaky hands. A silent nod from you lighted once again the enduring fire of his eyes.

Now you were even more curious.

“What if I get you a client?” Innocent question, firstly confusing you even more with the weird words, the realization came with your mouth opening a look of disbelief crossing your eyes for a second even if you tried to remind yourself that you situation it's not the one to be judgy.

“You do-”

“Let me finish, please?” And you could not find the power in yourself to not give in. Looking straight into his gaze you closed your mouth, still hanging from the previous schock you experienced. “I was in the same place as you some years ago, a broke student without any help or hope - and I know what you want to say, but it's not as bad as it seems. You don’t even know how much I wish that at that time I had better option, but there was none and probably won’t be if I still want to chase my dreams The job is really not that bad, people don’t know, they do not need to know - even if they wanted the community of them would not allow it cause they want only that - discretion.”

You winced, the cold brushing your cheeks even more from the chill night, moon being your only source of light shining at boy’s figure like in some kind of movie. And to be completely honest, you indeed feel like in some kind of drama, emotions oozing from both of you in waves crashing in the middle with a tension to it. You didn’t want to seem rude, your face trying to stay some kind of neutral, however you knew that Jimin saw the first pull you unconsciously did, decided to let it slip instead looking at you with even more solemnity.

Yeah you knew about his past, history he one time told you in the middle of breakdown, then seemingly crazy and full of hardship, now you started to see yourself in the boy, his place now taken by you in the most awful way.

“It’s really not that bad Y/n” He whispers, voice full of softness you were thankful about. You felt breakable, the thought of actually doing it scaring you with how probable it really is. “I’m so sorry I can't do more, but it’s the only way I can help.”

You didn’t even realize when he came so close, touching your arm with his little bigger hands clenching it. Your eyes squeezed as your hands fell to your sides lifelessly, emotions now once again leaving you a little too suddenly, the grip you always had on your life slipping from your grasp with a gasp. It was hard, facing something you worked so long for only to ruin it because of such a thing as money. It was so funny, your own younger self laughing at you probably, telling you how your choices led you to that state.

“It’s really the end huh?” You didn’t need to look to know about the sad gaze he momentarily gave you. Arm sneaking around your shoulders, your posture seemingly smaller than normally, bringing you to the warm body of the blonde boy. Not a word said, only the silence being louder than aggressive shouting.

There was no need for a better explanation, your mind was already processing the idea of selling yourself to someone, and how shocking it could be that it never crossed your mind before. You can’t say the job disgusted you, you can't say it did not leave you with a sour taste on your tongue, like something is wrong with the image of you in such an environment again.

Again.

Well that was something that did not sit right with you, running away your whole life from it, now going back to the cave of a tiger - conscious suicade.

Face plastered on the surface of the brown coat, fluffy fabric brushing your face with every breath he took. The gesture leaves you with a heavy heart, not understanding why Jimin wanted to help you so much. Was it an obligation? Did he feel like he owed you something?

You just couldn't grasp the idea why, why was he so insistent, it’s only you in the end, a friend from the same coffee shop he worked in, someone who is not important in his life, someone who he will leave when the time comes. So why?

And maybe with the next gust of wind, a quiet whisper in your ear you realized deep down, that he was the first person in your life which genuinely cared for you. However the musky scent and heavy thoughts still repeated the same question, but you knew somewhere in your mind that it’s only a matter of time when the quiet suggestion will be proven.

“It’s getting late. You should go home.” A silent nod, your head still leaning on his shoulders, too tired to move. His hands petting your hair, a quiet hum leaving his mouth while he did it, melody not familiar, dancing in the silence of the night. You sighted taking one step back, immediately feeling a cold breeze hitting you, the source of heat now gone, making you shiver in the lighter clothes. Little smile screeching on your lips after you saw his worried gaze, sitting on your figure not planning to move.

“You too.” Sticking your hands into the big pocket of your hoodie, you turned your head in the way he came nodding. None of you moved, gaze met in the middle as you tried to not show how cold you really wera, body shaking in unnatural ways wanting to move for some kind of warm up.

He did not smile, even after your own stretched into a larger one, you decided not to pry and just turn around with a silent wave, head ahead of you eyes looking in the dark depths of the street where you lived. He knew you were not alright, gaze piercing you through every layer you tried to put in a situation like this, a copy mechanism you were not that proud of. And so with the head lowered you took the first step away not minding the still lingering stare on your shoulders.

The main worry now being the cold weather and little clothes that shielded you from it, the idea of the whole conversation put somewhere on the side.

However, he and you were pretty well aware of what is going to happen the next day.

In the end it's you who soon is not even going to possess own body.

----

Sleepless nights were not new, the feeling of tiredness you could not just wipe with the piece of the fabric a familiar one, the eyes trying to stay focused on things even though they were so hard to close themself for some sweet time, just to be forcefully open. Two words were enough for you to not hide the utter ache, you so perfectly masked in the middle of the coldest night.

And so maybe it was the cold keeping you awake in the dark, the blanket not enough to warm up your lifeless limbs, or maybe the lingering touches of the blonde boy that stayed even after so many afters after the whole conversation.

You felt weak, blinking in the grey room watching the wall like it would show something incredible, the scratches on it similar to the one you did when the stress was too much, decorating pieces of your skin like an art. The night was a big blur, hours now looking at the nonexisting stuff passed with a blink of an eye only to put you in another of the memories.

Blonde hair somewhere there scrolled in the side of your mind. Oh yeah, the said boy came the next day, look on his face too hard to forget as the next wall you built was just ruined.

He looked at you from behind his eyelashes with eyes dimmed with a sort of fog. Silence being the only comfort in the moment - early morning helping with it. He knew that this time the situation did not have many options, not any without any loss.

However he came, with a mind to let you help with thinking of any other ideas to help you, the conversation from the other night forgotten after he stepped in the gloomy apartament. And it doesn’t surprise you, the look you probably carried spoke for himself.

In his hands soon layed inconspicuously looking scrap of paper, tempting with his appearance like the most loucioust sin. He read it with squinted eyes, not needing a lot of time to find out what exactly the letter applied to.

What surprised him after such information is, how really the girl hid behind such an innocent facade, the new wave of respect crashed on him with the thought how strong you really are to not ask for help. The human thing was to linger, searching for attention so long to have someone finally do everything for us.

He had money, he had it so much that he could easily help her for next month, but he knew how every proposition like that would end up.

In the end they were really similar.

“Maybe there is another way.” He cut the silence, after a while regretting the action. Eyes met somewhere in the middle and both of their gaze was meaningful enough to answer his void of hope. “Have you tried to talk with the flat owner?”

Grimace on your face once again was enough, you shook your head remembering not the best meeting with the older man. “Many times. The guy is purely business oriented, he doesn’t care about your private life but if you pay everything - which as you can see I have a problem with.”

“I know that it’s a hard topic, but what about your family. There needs to be at least one person.” You looked down, carpet under your feets still fluffy and soft under your feet, the silence embracing you both. Jimin awkwardly scratched his arm, biting his lips in the process, the topic one again making your mood even worse. “Im sorr-”

“There is no need, it doesn’t matter anyway. My family is off limits when it comes to those types of things.” You cut him off, looking from the side at the little embarrassed boy. A sigh leaves your mouth as you lean on to your old couch, ruffling your hair after. “Jimin there is really no other way. Your option is the only thing I can do, even if the idea scares me.”

He looked at you with a small smile, the memories from his past coming back to him, when it was him who was sitting at your place, maybe with a different situation, but the fear in the eyes remained the same. He sat next to you, hand catching yours latching fingers with yours, as if that small gesture was supposed to pass everything.

And maybe it was like that, however how sweet and calming the motion wouldn’t be, nothing has been solved, and your decision it's going to change your life completely.

“You start to accept it with time.” He whispers tightening the grip on your head, the sentence seemingly had a bit more to the story. You guessed he tried not only to convince you both himself too.

Idea still fresh in your mind, hard to process it actually is going to happen, eyes meeting once again with the dark ones of the boy, millions of heistations flowing in the circle of your pupils.

“What If I don’t want to accept it? Jimin, I'm going to sell myself like some kind of animal.” You started, soon seeing how every word pierced the boy, a hurt crossing his face for a while. However he himself knew how his job was not something to brag about, something that should be kept to yourself.

“First - you are not going to be a prostitute, it’s their job. Second - you are not selling yourself, your body maybe, your time - yes. This whole messed up business, which no one truly understands, it's not only based on pleasure and successful bargain. The people you are going to provide services will require more, however you too will be able to demand - and that’s the difference.” He instinctively stood up, turning his back to you to hide his face for you.

You decided not to question that, the topic probably being equally hard for him. Following his figure, you listened to every word which could calm your buzzing nerves.

“Mone-” You started trying to guess about the demand he was talking about. The cash suggests itself in your mind. The boy quickly turned back, dark eyes catching your breath in the middle.

“Respect.” He finished, taking an earlier abandoned cup of tea to his hand. You were confused, your gaze spoke for himself, the utter questions building with every quiet minute he left you with. “Do you know why so few people are able to survive in such a business, or why so few people know about it?” He asked knowing fully he won't get any answer from you. He sighted brushing his blonde hair back, a little oliy from the last day of work, he came to the other side of the room sitting on one of the smaller tables just before you.

“You will need to play a role, you will become an actress in real life without the power to question your own character. People that are directors in fact are going to be your clients, giving you the script you will need to act on. In the beginning it’s going to be hard, but with time you will understand that you can either love it or you are someone who is not suitable for such a job.”

So many questions, which only bundled up with the said words. A weird twinge in your heart, forcing you to stop thinking about it like a sweet temptation, however the beautiful words he wrapped everything with stronger. The idea seems so easy, so free and so good, too good to be true.

You looked at him, the tiredness hitting you suddenly but so many not arranged issues kept you on your toes, so with the remaining power you sighed rubbing your eyes. You decided, your last way out.

“How i'm even going to start?” The question filled him with a relife, not understanding exactly why, the thought of having someone close in the same job loaded him with unanswered happiness. He gazed back, the look making you sit more comfortable forcing your attention directly at him.

“The clients are mostly the people you least expect to. Although they are not people which can afford a whore - lame millionaires or self-proclaimed gangsters. Don’t get me wrong but if they were them they could have just bought the random first person that is willing to do everything they want, for them however the most important is discretion and loyalty.” He started, stopping for a while to take out his phone and quickly search something on it.

With one move he showed you a picture of a man, you strangely knew. Black hair, similar to the blackness of the sky so different from the boy sitting just before you and a beautiful porcelain looking skin. He looked proud, even as a imagine the frozen photo oozing of confidence and power.

You knew those people pretty well, a little too well. Too proud for their own good and too proud to admit their wrongs, making money in such a way to not get attention if they are dirty or not. Familiar contempt towards others. You tried so hard to run away just from people like that, you hoped the clients Jimin was talking about are just the little CEO’s, not that important or dangerous.

And how ironic it was that you yourself are going to willingly put yourself in such a toxic environment again, people that are more influential than politicians and authorities. Next question popping on the side, how the blonde boy survived there without any knowledge.

“I see you can guess about who i’m talking about, and It’s not your first contact with them, right?” He started, brushing his hair once again, a habit you noticed. He needed to admit that your expression put him in uneasiness, look on your face nearly scared like a child that watched horror for the first time. He didn’t want to annoy the topic, leaving it in the air with the restless tension, instead he closed his phone hiding it back into his pocket.

His eyes still on you, your mind somewhere else as the quietness of the room started to spin around. The unanswered question lingered on your tongue, kept in the end of your mouth like some kind of secret. And as you thought it’s the end, the little ping came from the pocket he put his phone into.

“Well, I don’t know If you are interested but there is someone who is willing meet.”

[lena-in-her-mind-palace]

You know, I don't think we talk enough about what it's like for a person of color to grow up in a community that's mostly white.

For this reason I shall be sharing my experience. Why? Because I have a lot to say and I need to get it off my chest :) So, uh feel free to read my rambles...

oh and if you relate to any part of this or want to share your own story, please tag me I'd love to hear about other people's experiences.

-------

I was born in India. The state where I'm from mostly spoke a language called Telugu. But I don't usually tell people that because I don't want to spend ten minutes helping them pronounce it correctly. Sure, I could just ignore it when they say it wrong but then that would feel like I'm disrespecting my own culture. So normally I just avoid saying it to begin with.

Because of this barely anyone knows how literate I am in my mother tongue. And honestly it's kind of sad that it's an accomplishment. there are so many people that I know that genuinely can't pronounce some of the simplest words and it's honestly painful. I can speak, read, and write in Telugu. But no one knows this because I don't tell them. Why would I when it's more effort to have to explain that "No, Indian is not a language. Hindu isn't one either that's a religion".

India has 22 official languages, many more tribal languages, and thousands of unique regional dialects. I can guess roughly what region of India someone is from with the accent they have in English.

And don't get me started on my name. I'm not doxxing myself obviously, but my name happens to sound very similar to a particular English word. And boy, do I know it. It's not like I'm told every single time I introduced myself to someone. As a kid I thought it was cool. But I'm 18 now and knowing that some people assume what my name means because it sounds like a different word is beyond infuriating. While again, I'm not revealing the actual definition, my name is pretty common in telugu and Tamil songs because it's meaning is really poetic. it's a beautiful name and I love it, and to know that 80% of the people I meet won't respect that because of silly ignorance is just so frustrating.

Friendships are weird too. Like 2% of my school was brown. and of that only like .1% of my school is from the same area of India as me. See that's significant, because the culture in different regions of India varies greatly so if I were to meet a Punjabi, the most we'd probably relate to is maybe a Bollywood movie we both like (yes this is anectdotal).

And that isn't to say I don't have Indian friends. I have desi friends but it sometimes feels like the only reason we're friends is because we have the same skin tone. We barely relate beyond that. And even then it's barely even that. So many people of color, for one reason or another lose touch with their culture. Somehow I'm in the group that hasn't fallen victim to this, but it's so hard. You never feel american enough, or Indian enough. (or whatever culture you're from).

I try super hard to stay connected to my culture and heritage. because it's such big part of who I am. Whether it's pairing jhumkis with a really cute sundress and a Lengha blouse with ripped jeans, or practicing reading and writing in Telugu so that I stay fluent and don't forget. And most importantly, I've dedicated a significant portion of my life to learning Indian classical dance. through that I've learnt so much about our history, customs, religion, mythos. I've been learning since I was 3 years old (and I'm doing my arangetram in September which is exciting!!)

Sometimes when I'm out and about and I see an Indian person, and bonus if overhear them speaking Telugu, I'll just start humming a popular song or pretend I got a call from my mom and talk really loudly in Telugu, and they always look at me and smile and there's this random sense of kinship with strangers.

But then I'll be with my friends, who while aren't all white, they are all much more.... American (?) than me? and I just won't bring up anything culture related.

It's like my identity is split in two. American me at school, and Indian me for family friends. And I'm sure a lot of bipoc can relate to this particular identity crisis lol. At times I feel like I fit into the stereotype too much and by doing so I'm perpetuating it. Ahead in school, teacher's pet, know it all, etc. But at the same time it feels like I don't fit the stereotype enough and that no one will take me seriously as an Indian because of. I have shit grades, horrible work ethic, didn't get into any fancy colleges and whatever.

I will say though the one positive is that I have, by some stroke of luck, never faced racism growing up. I've heard the horror stories but I have been so fortunate as to growing up in an mostly open-minded, welcoming, and friendly community. Although it is dominantly white, most people are respectful enough to say anything thats outright cruel or harmful.

There is a catch, however. While no one intends harm doesn't mean harm is done. I can't even fault people for it because I know it comes from a place of ignorance and genuine curiosity. 90% of people wouldn't say those things if they realized how rude or whatever it can come across.

A little example: When a friend of mine was in 8th grade this white kid leans over to her and asks "Are all Indian babies born with a dot on their forehead?" She wasn't even wearing a bindi that day! At the time it happened both of us were doubled over laughing with literal tears in our eyes. But looking back, that question really was incredibly ludicrous. But the boy genuinely thought it.

And of course almost every brown person has been asked "do you speak Indian, or Hindu." Which again, comes from a place of ignorance and frankly stupidity.

I thank every person in my life for how kind and welcoming they are. But for the love of god, think critically about what you're about to say before you say stuff like that, it would prevent a lot unintentional harm. If you leave this rant with anything, let it be that.

And if you're not sure, just ask if it's okay to say it. Be conscious of it. It's okay to make mistakes, but be open to be educated on what is or isn't okay. We're the experts. We're not going to get mad when we know you don't mean any harm.

The same goes for any minority group. LGBTQIA+ and its infinite sub-sects, bipoc, the various neurodivergent communities.

I did not talk about religion because I'm still figuring out my stance on that. But it's worth mentioning that I don't eat beef out of respect .

phew

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk :D

And if you relate to any part of this or want to share your own story, please tag me I'd really love to hear about other people's experiences.

[miyaren]

synopsis: when Y/n bashes and complains about her new job to the handsome stranger she met at a coffee shop, she doesn't expect for him to be her new boss. And after that, she doesn't expect for the two of them to get along so well, but they do, even when she comes to wish they wouldn't.

series masterlist

wc: 2.8k

a/n: this is atsumu and y/n's lesson in unprofessionalism featuring oikawa hating aliens (good heavens) and kiyoko's siren call.

Chapter 3

She could feel how hot her face was as she tried to plaster on a smile, “Uh, Mr. Miya I-”

“Y/n i'm messin with ya. And please just call me Atsumu.”

“But you’re my boss, I can’t just-”

Atsumu rolled his eyes, “Sunarin is yer boss, honestly. Not me.”

“Still you’re the head of-” Her cheeks were still red but now for new reasons.

“I know, I know, I'm the prince of this nepotism circus. It's a technicality, really. Just treat me how ya did earlier.”

Y/n sighed with frustration, “He may be my direct superior but-”

“Don’t think so hard ab-”

“WILL YOU LET ME SPEAK?!” 

Finally, he was quiet and the two watched each other like they were both feral dogs about to pounce at any second. The silence was so heavy, the air was charged. Atsumu swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“I'm sorry. . . I was feelin. . . passionate.” He frowned regretfully as he shrunk back in his chair. She nodded.

“And I'm sorry I raised my voice. I got worked up pretty fast,” Y/n dared to give him a small smile, her stomach buzzing like she was about to walk off a ledge. In a way, she sort of was, “I had a rough morning. I rode the train here with the biggest douche.”

His eyes lit up again as he smiled back, “I bet he was insanely handsome.”

Y/n shrugged, “He was alright. Look. . . I'm sorry if what I said on the train offended you. I'm sure you’re perfectly qualified for your job and you have no stick in any unsavory places.”

“Y/n I promise I wasn’t offended. You made me laugh. People aren’t usually so honest with me. It was nice to hear.”

She gave him a nod, chewing on the inside of her lip nonetheless, “Well, thank you for being so cool about this. Did you need to talk to me about anything else? Like, manager stuff?”

“Mmm, we covered all the introductions earlier, so nothin else. Sunarin will help you get settled, but if ya need anything at all feel free to ask me.”

She rose out of her seat and bowed her head slightly before turning to leave. 

“Y/n, wait.”

She spun back around to face him, “Yes?”

“If it wouldn’t make ya too uncomfortable, please just treat me the same way as ya did this morning. I think. . we have a good back and forth, ya know?”

They did? 

Under normal circumstances, she would have said no. But the past month had changed her, hardening her in some places and softening her in others. What the hell did she have to lose at this point? 

(Deep down inside her, she registered that she was also making this decision with her vagina. And she was also fine with that.)

“Ok I will. But I'm only going to call you Atsumu when it's just the two of us. Around anybody else it's Mr. Miya.”

“That’s romantic.”

“It’ll be more romantic when I report you to H.R.”

He hissed like she’d hurt him and pointed to the door, “Go account, Y/n.”

“On it, Mr. Miya!” Y/n turned and called over her shoulder.

  - - -

Even though she had bashed the office job, it wasn’t shaping up to be too bad. Right after her meeting with Atsumu, she met the rest of her coworkers one by one. There was Tooru Oikawa, who worked in finance the same as her. His desk was right next to hers, pushed together in an L shape. It was covered in all types of alien knick knacks: an alien mug, alien picture frame, little alien figurines. 

Y/n opened her mouth to ask about them and he cut her off before she even started.

“To be honest, space kind of scares me. I'm not even into the supernatural or anything like that. I am the victim of a 5 year long running joke. I drank too much with my friends one night and compared the guy I was seeing to an alien- in a cute way- not a weird way. We broke up like two weeks later but they never stopped getting me alien stuff. I threw the first couple of things out but now I am a proud owner of a growing collection of alien themed items.”

Y/n blinked and tried to digest all she was told, “You just said so many words.”

“We’re deskmates. You have to know all your Oikawa lore.” He glared. 

She bit the inside of her cheek to hold back her laughter but it was a losing battle, “Well, thank you, I feel very informed right now.” 

“You’re laughing at me. I'm gonna remember this and treat you the same when you tell me all the L/n lore.”

“That’s going to be devastating.”

At first Y/n thought he was just a giant nerd, but she soon learned that everything he said was usually wrapped up in at least seven layers of sarcasm. He said most things to amuse himself. Tooru laughed at his own jokes more than other people’s. And when he wasn’t being sarcastic, he was saying outlandish bullshit that made her brain pop. On top of it all, he was a numbers genius, and he liked making sure other people knew it too.

Somehow, she got along well with Tooru. Y/n enjoyed petty arguments with him, and talking about stupid, pointless things.

After him, she met the sales team, which only consisted of three people. First, there was Hitoka Yachi, who was sweet and bubbly. Then, Y/n met Daichi Sawamura who was also very kind when he first greeted her. Mostly, he kept to himself but he seemed to get on well with the rest of the sales department. 

Those two were nice, though her favorite salesperson had to be Kiyoko Shimizu. Upon their introduction, Y/n instantly admired her. By far, she was the coolest in the office, all sleek and glamorous in an understated way.

Tooru caught Y/n staring one day and she was a bit mortified, expecting him to hold the slight crush over her head. But he had simply shaken his head and assured her that she wasn't alone, “If our office was an anime, we would be a harem romance, and all of us losers would be a part of Kiyoko’s harem.”

“That was such an oddly specific way to say we all think Kiyoko’s hot.”

Tooru looked proud, “I painted a really clear picture though, didn’t I?”

She exhaled in defeat, “. . . Ok yes. It was a good analogy.”

Reaching over his desk he held out his knuckles to her, and begrudgingly Y/n fist bumped him.

Over the course of a month, Y/n settled in and had adjusted completely to the new job. Accounting wasn’t her first choice, but she did it with ease. For the most part, everyone at Miya inc(k)! was kind and easy to get along with (minus Mr. Suna and Kageyama, but they had the people skills of rocks). 

In particular, her manager was a little too easy to get along with. 

It had started during her second week of work, when she had been sorting through some files and Koshi came up to let her know she was needed in Mr. Miya’s office. 

When Y/n made her way over and let herself in, she found Atsumu waiting for her at his desk along with two cups from Housecog. Y/n shut the door.

“You needed me?” She took a seat in front of him.

“I'm so bored,” he whined. Through the sleeves of his collared button up, she couldn’t help but notice his biceps.

“Hmm. Have you tried working?” He must have been working out all the time to have arms like that.

“I finished my entire workload Monday. So yes I have tried it.”

Y/n snapped out of her daze and met him with furrowed brows, “If you finished all your work for the week, do you even need to be here?”

“I don’t. But my pops disagrees. And whatever he wants, he gets.” He’d said it as a joke but it felt more weighted than a petty jest.

“The king of the nepotism circus rules with an iron fist, huh?”

Atsumu slumped down in his seat, “The ironest. That coffee there is for you by the way.” He nodded his head in the direction of the cup closest to Y/n.

Her heart fluttered against her will. 

“You shouldn’t get me coffee, Atsumu. I don’t want any special treatment just because we’re friends.” She chided, before grabbing the cup and taking a sip. It was hot and smooth and he had gotten her order just right.

He smiled , “How does that special treatment taste?”

“. . .It tastes great. But don’t get me coffee again unless you’re getting for the whole office. Okay?”

“Fine. .Yer, a real worry wart Y/n.”

Her nose scrunched up at the name, “You could stand to worry a little more. Now I need to get back to my work. I believe this is what they call time theft.”

“Just bring your work and do it here.” Y/n thought he might be joking but he looked serious as ever.

She gave him a hard stare.

“I just want some company. I won’t bother ya I promise. I’ll be as quiet as a mouse,” Atsumu held his right hand up like he was taking an oath.

“It’s going to look weird if I work in your office for no reason.”

“Just tell Sunarin and anyone else who asks, that I'm making ya go over all the reports we got from the actuary. You can pretend you’re real annoyed by me asking too, if ya wanna sell it.”

Again, Y/n stared him down and he stared right back, a non verbal game of tug of war going on between them. He won easy.

She shook her head, “Fine. Let’s not get in the habit of this lying, though.”

- - -

The two of them fell into this habit quickly. Atsumu would come up with some excuse and Y/n would be called into his office. 

She would show up more stunned each day, “Do you just pull these lies out of your asshole?!”

“Hey, come on. Ya know there’s no free real estate up there.”

Nonetheless, Y/n did get work done in his office. She would steal his desk and Atsumu would sit in his hammock chair, fidgeting with a rubix cube. Kageyama had walked in on this seating arrangement a couple of times when he came to relay messages, and they both fell victim to a loss of words. 

“I don’t want to know.” Kageyama would grumble. Then, he’d give Atsumu the necessary information and leave. A silence would fall between them when this happened, like they were two highschoolers just walked in on by their mother. Soon enough, they’d carry on like nothing happened. 

Atsumu had told Y/n that he wouldn’t bother her while she worked and that was only a half truth. Everything, anything was on the table for a conversation between them.

 She learned he had a brother- a twin- but Atsumu would still insist he was the more attractive sibling.

 He liked dogs over cats

. He had been in love twice, with people he'd  never dated. 

Mr. Suna was actually his childhood friend, they played volleyball together in highschool. (She laughed so hard her eyes began to water when Atsumu told her they had nicknamed him ‘pussybangs’) 

It had taken some stubborn coaxing for him to reveal that he had secretly joined an improv troupe in college (his great shame), and he believed he could ‘yes, and’ his way out of anything if he tried hard enough. 

When he got hungry, he got so cranky that she had to refuse to talk to him until he ate something. 

Atsumu didn’t say much on the matter but Y/n vaguely gathered he had some type of father complex. Whether it was resentment or fear, she couldn’t put her finger on it. He had become the manager of Miya inc(k)! so that his brother could choose any career path he wanted. The subtext was clear to her, he hadn’t had a choice.  Atsumu claimed it was because he was the oldest. 

“You said you were born only eight minutes before Osamu.”

“Yeah. I'm eight minutes older. Eight minutes wiser.”

“You’re a nutjob.”

He blew her off with a wave of his hand, “I wouldn’t expect an only child to understand these advanced sibling dynamics.”

Atsumu had learned a lot about Y/n too, he liked collecting all sorts of facts about her, filing them away in his mind. She had one hell of a sweet tooth, and every day she was bringing in some new kind of dessert(she always shared with him even when he didn’t ask). 

She loved sculpting and sketching, she hated painting; she could never get the blending just right.

 He learned that the real reason she needed more money for rent was because she had just moved into a new apartment after splitting up with her boyfriend of one year. He had cheated on her.

 Y/n liked to be constantly distracted, be it a t.v show playing in the background or some music. Undeniably, she had very specific music tastes. She swore she wasn’t picky but anytime Atsumu chose the music, she would scrunch her nose up and shrug, ‘It's just not for me’. 

He had found her on instagram, and once she had accepted his follow request, he noticed she used her account like ‘a goddamn scrapbook’.

 And of course when he found out she was an only child, he teased her relentlessly for it.

“I guess ya came out pretty normal considering.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?” She pouted- unintentionally it was always unintentionally-, and Atsumu swore he’d bother her all damn day if he could see her look that pretty again.

 A spike of fear would rise in his chest when he thought about her like that. Fearful or not, it would have never in a thousand years occurred to him to stop inviting her into his office the way he did. 

These times with just the two of them had become tangible to him, something he could grab and hold when he needed a pick me up. Y/n was a good pick me up.

“It means ya could be snacking on erasers right now. Maybe huffin some glue too.”

Y/n promptly chucked his own stress ball at his head. He caught it just in time.

- - -

For the most part, the office was oblivious to Y/n and Atsumu’s budding friendship. With the exception of Rintarou Suna. He knew his friend was acting strange. And the only thing he could think to trace it back to was Y/n.

 Never before had Atsumu needed someone in financial to help him , and he certainly couldn’t need her help as much as he called her in. The tasks he supposedly needed assistance with never made much sense either. When Rintaro worked up the nerve to ask him about it one day, Atsumu simply replied, ‘Ah, she’s been crunching some personal numbers for me’. He thought Atsumu could have come up with a better lie.

Not only that, since Y/n had joined their staff, Atsumu routinely began to buy coffee for the whole office. Randomly, he’d asked Kageyama to gather everyone’s go-to drink order. Now every morning like clockwork, Atsumu came into the office with a cardboard cup holder in each of his hands, delivering everyone’s order to them like some type of coffee fairy. The first couple of times it happened, Rintaro watched Y/n trying to hold back a smile as she drank, like the coffee was a part of the funniest joke. 

Finally, his curiosity got the better of him. 

Per usual, Y/n was called in to ‘assist’ Atsumu. Trying to look inconspicuous, Rintaro left his seat and turned the corner in the hallway to reach his friend’s office. Quietly, he pressed his ear to the door, determined to get to the bottom of this weird behavior. Although it was muffled, he could hear Y/n say something followed by an obnoxious bout of laughter from Atsumu. 

Suna pulled his ear away from the door and fiddled with his tie as he walked back to his desk. Rintaro didn’t know what exactly was going on between Atsumu and Y/n, but he hadn’t heard that kind of laughter from Atsumu in a long time. 

He thought if anyone deserved some pure happiness, it was Atsumu Miya. But still, he knew this was only going to spell out trouble.

<<<previous chapter

[leviiattacks]

Two Faced | Chapter Ten

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it’s all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared, for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au ??? (at this point idek) angst, fluff, slice of life etc ?? word count :: 4k author note :: haha.... wowww it's been long since i last updated. honestly my physical and mental health have just been horrible... that's about it, i lost a lot of motivation but if you're still reading i am very thankful and i will try to deliver the story well. i tried my best but writing whilst sick is very tiresome :-) tags :: @patience-is-here​ , @chwlogy​ , @a--nonymousse​ , @imkumichan​ 

→ chapters list

Keeping yourself cooped up within Levi's estate and never daring to step a foot outside should have been what you had done. Blackmailing him to keep you confined within the walls of your bedroom would be much better compared to the problem you have to resolve now. Perhaps if you had done so you wouldn't have collided face first into this muddle.

Jean fiddles with the ends of his button up, he doesn't take the chance to glance up at any of his superiors. He's either much too embarrassed or has nothing noteworthy to start off with.

Erwin chooses to call the shots seeing as neither you or the Viscount by your side wish to begin.

"You both understand why we're here. Correct me if I'm wrong?" The Commander looks between you, Jean and your unfortunate excuse of a husband. Suddenly it looks as if the gears and cogs in Jean's brain move without warning.

Offering a demure nod you expect for him to follow in your footsteps and do the same only he stands there looking between you and Levi.

"Wait...The two of you are? A couple?" Stunned isn't the word, Jean's completely flabbergasted.

"If you figured that out this late, I do not understand why Erwin sees you remotely fit for my team." Levi's beyond insulted at the fact he's only just understood the situation.

Jean, now more intimidated than ever before straightens his back and coughs clumsily, "Sorry." He murmurs chestnut eyes making contact with the hardwood floors.

The Commander's laced hands sit atop his desk, elegant fingers moving similar to honey on a spoon. He sighs not out of fatigue but pride. Whatever plan he's come up with has to be decent at the very least, his body language is telling you that much.

"We have a number of possibilities we can choose from. We owe that pleasure to Mr Kirstein here." Erwin offers him an almost cynical smile, you can't help but gulp thinking about how this is essentially your fault. With all the constant training sessions and team building tasks it makes sense for Jean to have completely forgot about your unspoken rule. Solely blaming him is incorrect.

Raising your arm above your head to intervene you make it known that you're aware of Levi shooting you a look of warning by returning it. It's best he knows you don't care for anyone's opinion let alone his.

"Permission to speak Commander?"

Your request is agreed to immediately with the wave of  Erwin's hand.

"It's my fault for not reminding Jean. I'll take the blame, I hadn't even told him the full story concerning me and Levi."

Levi doesn't enjoy your defense in the slightest. "I don't expect my wife to fling herself at other men and allow for them to snoop around gathering the details of our personal lives."

Scoffing you shield yourself with your arms over your chest.

"Oh dear husband. If you want to get personal do tell me where my family is?" It's an inside joke only Levi will be able to understand.

"If you call those people family your standards are disgustingly low."

"Maybe that explains why I settled for you."

Again, other's opinions are not at the forefront of your priority list. Regardless it's quite enjoyable pushing Levi further into a corner with that sentence. You see the internal struggle play out within him. Jaw clenched, hands balled together. He doesn't have an appropriate response

Jean bursts out unable to hold it in any longer, chest trembling with every quake of laughter that ripples through him you have to shove him with your elbow. For a Viscount his etiquette sure is nonexistent.

"My word, the two of you sound like..."

Levi stares at him most probably expecting something along the lines of "An old married couple."

But, no. It's nothing anyone in the room expects. That includes you.

"It's as if you're unhappy with each other..."

Not a noise is made after that. Jean isn't mistaken, your heart is miserable. You've never had many relationships to begin with, whether it be familial, romantic or platonic and for someone such as your husband to treat you the way he does - it feels futile having to navigate around the complexities. Even if he isn't really your husband it's disappointing to reflect on your marriage so suddenly.

Feeling your face droop a little you bite your bottom lip with your teeth. Hearing the truth from someone you barely expect to hear it from has an effect on you.

You're so caught up analyzing everything it takes you a minute to even register Levi grumbling and lunging forward pilfering the collar of Jean's shirt.

"Every day you prove to be more and more pathetic than I expect." Levi turns to look at you after that. His stare bores into you but he doesn't come off threatening, you assume his last remark is directed solely at Jean.

When he turns back only glaring at Jean now with even more tenacity than before. He's ready to snap but Erwin has clearly had enough of the unwanted altercation in his office.

"Enough. The both of you. This is most bothersome." At the Commander's orders Levi is silenced although it takes all of his resolve to do so.

Finally bothering you take a good look at Jean. He's calm in an incredibly out of character way.

Is this not the man who trembled in his boots the first time he and Levi came into contact? It's almost as if he seems pleased with himself for drawing out such a reaction from his Captain.

Erwin shuffles through stacks of paperwork on his desk. The man needs an assistant at this point. You doubt you could find anything in that haphazard pile. Edges of crumpled paper poke out uncomfortably and Erwin becomes increasingly annoyed when he can't locate what it is he's looking for.

Just as you're about to ask if he requires any assistance it seems he's found what he's been looking for, that's if his eyes are any indication of the relief he feels.

"This." He holds up the paper, all eyes in the room are trained on it. "Under normal circumstances would not have to become an option."

"But these aren't normal circumstances?" Jean's thoughtless question is irksome when the answer is so obviously staring him down in the face.

Nonetheless Erwin nods incapable of losing his cool over something so minor.

"Sign to confirm to my proposition."

The document he places onto the desk isn't what you imagine, you can practically feel the dread climb up your throat once you're done scanning it. Jean's full name placed right next to yours in bold lettering has your stomach lurching. You don't have to read the rest to understand the new circumstances you've landed into.

To make matters worse Erwin places two rings down right in front of the both of you.

A pot of boiling hot water is what you've been thrown in.

Are you supposed to be some sort of replacement for potatoes? What's Jean in this scenario? Carrots?

"It is troublesome to have the two of you put on an act to be involved with one another but I see it as our safest option." Erwin notices your parted lips and slacked jaw. "You need not worry this isn't a marriage contract, you're simply acting."

There's no path out of this pot, you and Jean will simply have to deal with the prospect of being boiled alive.

Ah, you forgot to mention who would act as the hot water but you're sure the suspect is obvious.

Even right now Levi's fury radiates off of him, it's unclear if he was given the details of the Commander's plan beforehand but if his furrowed brow and pursed lips are indicators of the truth he must have had no idea.

Your suspicions are confirmed to be correct once Levi reaches forward plucking the paper away, it just so happens he's snatched it away the very moment Jean leans in to get a closer look at it.

"I was never informed of this."

Erwin gives him a guarded smile. "Do you have any jurisdiction over what I think is best?" Is his freezing reply.

"Yes. When it concerns my wife and another man - Correction. I meant boy."

Jean's taken aback by the subtle jab and shamefacedly shoves his hands into his pockets.

You watch the scene go down with a perplexed look the entire time. Levi's frustration seems to be legitimate yet he has no logical reason for it to ever be present in the first place. Unless he has a plan which outperforms the one you've just been given he's doing this all for nothing.

"I assure you your wife is in safe hands so long as you stop interfering."

Levi's about to bark back until he catches your confusion. He's become aware of your tilted head and telling expression and only then does he silence himself permanently not before sighing deeply, muttering an expletive under his breath.

 "I’ll sign it.” That seems to be Jean’s indirect way of asking what your choice will be.

“I... will too.” Is your hesitant reply.

Levi only becomes avoidant after that. Half way through Erwin explaining how you and Jean have to look believable Levi just ups and leaves without a word. Perhaps you've hurt his pride but for what he's done to you it's a small price to pay and so you do nothing to make amends. He has no reason to feel uncomfortable, you aren't really his wife, you're essentially strangers. Does he even know your favourite colour? Your favourite food? Your favourite pastime?  

You doubt he does.

Jean and you are rather successful with your act. It feels pleasant having him brush your hair out of your face occasionally or lovingly place a hand on your forehead to check if you've come down with a fever. He laces his fingers with yours when others are around and when they aren't he lets the act go. It's satisfying having a cooperative partner.

Naturally Jean is still a tease, even now he makes the odd suggestive comment or two in passing but you can't say you hate it. In fact it excites you to think of a response that borders the edge of teasing and simple fun between friends.

The increasing openness between the two of you is enough for the cadets to deduce that he's most probably the noble man you wed in secrecy.

It's only been a few days since yours and Jean's newfound behaviour, thankfully you haven't been flooded with questions just yet. The higher ups sit nearby during breakfast, lunch and dinner keeping watch over the cadets. It leaves you able to eat and drink without having to handle the constant inquiring of your comrades.

However, you aren't as lucky today. A meeting's taking place and after yours and Jean's convincing act Erwin deems it safe enough to leave you unattended for a short while.

Of course it doesn't go according to plan because when you're involved when does anything ever go according to plan?

The cadets are flocked around your table at dinner as soon as they notice they've been left to their own devices. The opportunity to sit down without everyone invading your space is barely provided to you. Krista is sat to your right leaning into you rather animatedly, Annie has made herself at home sat across you which in itself is completely out of character and slightly unnerving, Annie never and you repeat never concerns herself with you.

"Why did you and Jean hide it?" Armin hovers over your shoulder as per usual. He can't be blamed for naturally being inquisitive and it does give you the opportunity to lay out the foundations of your plan. Now's your time to muster up one of your rehearsed responses.

"It would interfere with work." You respond immediately wanting to appear natural. Pondering on an answer for too long would raise suspicions.

Armin makes a sound of approval and shuffles into the seat next to Krista, that is until Ymir can be overheard telling him to move if he knows what's best for him.

"I have a question." Says a voice across the table, you don't have to look at the blonde parallel to you to know it's her.

For once Annie’s initiated a conversation with you, she’s not particularly great at keeping her intentions discreet. Maybe she doesn’t care if you can tell what she’s up to? But if that’s the case her plan isn’t all that foolproof, there's no way you're to let any details slip away.

Sharply inhaling waiting for what it is she has to say you find that her sentence never comes. Instead she shakes her head and murmurs a "Never mind.". You don't even have the time to ask her to stick around, she's already rose from her seat taking her unfinished plate of food with her, you let her go assuming she feels unwell.

"So how'd you two meet? Jean already told me earlier but I'd like to hear your side." Reiner's taken Annie's empty seat and his gaze is unwavering. The trap they've set up is a clever one. Surveying the hall for Bertholdt you know he has to be observing too. The two never operate alone.

You suddenly hate Reiner. For whatever reason he and his trio are endlessly obsessed with you, they've caught onto something that's for sure but you don't know what it is and now they've completely ensnared you with a backhanded trick. There's no way out of this, you have no idea what it is Jean said to Reiner, the chances of you providing the exact same answer are slim to none.

"My memory is really fuzzy, I don't think Jean gave off much of a first impression so I've forgot." Your horrible excuse doesn't fly by, everyone simultaneously narrows their eyes in disbelief. What you've said isn't convincing at all.

Husband and Wife yet you've forgot how the two of you met?

Fidgeting with the ring adorning your finger the cool metal isn't doing a great job at alleviating the pressure of the situation.

"Jean said the two of you hit it off almost instantly. Who's being dishonest?"

Reiner's either lying to catch you out or he's saying the God honest truth and right now all you can do is hope and pray for a miracle to sweep you off your feet. Mikasa and Jean still aren't within view. At this point you're hoping for Levi to save you, it doesn't matter how so long as you escape unscathed.

"Hey, I think we're just making her anxious with all the questions." Armin is quick to side with you, deep down you know he only does so due to the respect he holds for his Commander. You thank the Heaven's for Erwin's admirable smile and commendable leadership, it seems to be the only reason Armin believes you and Jean.

"Or she's lying." Reiner's resting his head in one of his palms, he's still boring holes right into your frame.

Your eye twitches, this is all unnecessary and uncalled for, whatever it is Reiner wants out of you it better be worthwhile.

He still eggs you on. "You walked out of the Captain's quarters. I saw you."

Standing up and leaning forward you plant your feet to the ground as firmly as you can you.

"And if she did what's it to you?"

Fighting the urge to sigh in relief you've never been happier to hear Jean's voice but something's off. His breathing sounds heavy - like he fought his way to get inside. Turning only then do you notice Mikasa standing by him. She looks equally as exhausted. There's been some sort of a struggle.

"You think it was funny getting Annie to guard the door?" He heaves and runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

"And you think hiding secrets from the rest of us is any better?" Reiner's adamant there's information that the both of you are hiding, he's not wrong but that doesn't change that he's challenging you unprovoked without a reasonable motive.

"We're hiding nothing." Unlike you Jean is sure of his words, he's confident speaking up and he seems to be able to pull off the role of a protective husband perfectly.

“I came out of the Captain’s quarters because he had access to hot water. He said I could use his shower. That’s all it was.”

Reiner quirks an eyebrow upwards and is pleased with your answer. God you’ve said something incriminating haven’t you? It's not incriminating per se but it's without doubt malleable and easy to twist.

“Jean, you were okay with your wife doing that at the dead of night?” Reiner's still leading the interrogation.

“I was the one who suggested it.”

“I don’t believe you’re a couple." If it were Reiner who said that you wouldn't care much, after all it's pretty clear he never believed it but to your displeasure it isn't him who's spoken. Ymir's lopsided grin is all knowing and you're beginning to lose your footing in this argument any second now if any more people start to side against you.

If Ymir disagrees that almost certainly means Krista has her qualms about you too, you've observed beforehand that Ymir tends to speak for Krista on occasion. This happens to be one of those times.

Krista timidly raises her hand and Ymir gives her an approving nod encouraging her to speak.

"I don't like the conflict going on but it is suspicious..."

"Why have I only ever seen you two hold hands?" She asks.

Ymir slings her arm over Krista's shoulder affectionately. "Yeah, I tell Krista I'll marry her every day of the week."

Mikasa mumbles something unintelligible, Ymir gives her a look of warning but Mikasa doesn't seem to care. Instead she repeats what she has to say loud and clear.

"Stick to only speaking when Krista is involved."

Krista holds Ymir by her arm so she doesn't get up, she knows how she gets when she's been provoked. Even if Krista has her suspicions it isn't worth Ymir gaining a permanent penalty point on her record.

Thankfully Armin cuts in. "There's no solid evidence to show they're lying and even if they are the Commander's most probably told them to. Don't you think there's a reason? Leave it be if that's the case. I trust him with our lives."

"We have a right to know." Annie's returned and insists to keep this back and forth going.

Just as you're about to fire back Jean takes a hold of your waist, you look down and seeing his large hands planted securely around your frame has your stomach bubbling with anticipation.

"What are you— "

And then he kisses you, he doesn't ask and instinctively your arms move to whack his chest but you stop yourself in time. You realize it's for the sake of your plan not falling through and so you gently place your hands on his shoulders attempting to ground yourself. It becomes increasingly difficult when you sink deeper into the kiss than you'd like to admit. Blood rushes to the tips of your ears and the thumping of your heartbeat makes it difficult to articulate any thoughts, all you really know is that you like this, whatever this is.

Jean's hands don't feel like they were made to rest against your back, they feel slightly out of place as if he's a key and you're an unmatched lock. In spite of that the circles he comfortingly rubs into the sides of your waist are appreciated, you almost forget you're in a room full of people until you're flooded by cold air.

You've been dragged off of Jean and something in the pit of your stomach has you wishing Levi isn't responsible for the interruption.

To your relief it's just Hange, they're glowing in mischief, the grin on their face shows they aren't mad. They might even find this entertaining.

"Well I be damned... maybe they weren't bluffing?" Connie's been persuaded by the looks of it and Krista's busy whispering to Ymir, you hear the faint sound of the word "Romantic" escape her lips, she's equally as convinced as Connie.

Hange smacks your back light-heartedly and looks to the door for a second. "We leave ya' both for a while and you decide to give everyone a show?"

Erwin's stood by the doorway with a humorous smile playing at his lips, Levi however is anything but amused, he glares at you with murderous eyes, he looks like he's ready to end your life then and there but you know he won't dare do so and for a second you feel braver than you ever have before. Without much thought you grab onto Jean's forearm.

"Me and my husband will get going now!" You allow your gaze to loiter when you get to Reiner. He grunts an apology and you're oh so tempted to ask him to repeat himself but you'd rather not instigate anything.

With that said and done you and Jean leave after giving the performance of your lives.

Slowly but gradually the sky outside becomes dark.

The will to sleep left your body long ago. It's by pure luck that you even manage to catch three hours of rest. Training is the only available distraction and dying out in battle isn't favourable by any means, your boredom may as well be used resourcefully - Strapping yourself up in your ODM gear is the best option.

A quarter way through your warm up you can sense a presence behind you, the leaves rustle and the wind feels noticeably quieter. You'd bother to turn around to see who's intruded but Levi's snuck close enough for you to be able to smell his perfume from where you're stood.

"Feel disrespected? Embarrassed even?" You jab at him knowing it'll rile him up, you don't face him not wanting to give him the pleasure of seeing your face.

"Watch your mouth." he warns sharply.

Rolling your eyes you go about your business, it stays that way for a few minutes. All the while Levi stares at you darting from tree to tree, his scrutinizing gaze scalding you repeatedly.

"Y/N!" He yells at the top of his lungs.

For some unknown reason you automatically stop and lower yourself to the ground

"I have something to tell you." Comes his tense follow up. A finger of his latches onto one of the leather straps on your back.

You can't believe he's still denying the undeniable.

"You can wait till tomorrow. I'll be going to bed."

Levi doesn't seem to care for your cold response and proceeds with no warning.

"I'm jealous." His voice shakes. The grip he has on your harness doesn't let up. With your back turned to him you're still somehow able to detect the very obvious crack of pain.

Levi, jealous?

Gritting your teeth together you feel deceived.

How much longer will you have to tolerate Levi's push and pull?

“May I ask, what he is to you, my love?”

Your breathing grows heavy, tensing up you're completely shocked by the term of endearment that falls from his lips. You haven't heard it for so long, Levi sounds eerily different.

You hate to admit it but a flicker of foolish hope lights in your chest.

"Levi why would you ask— "

"Why don't you call me Lev anymore?" He whispers sounding strangled. You can't take it anymore and hesitantly look his way.

His eyes are filled with tears "I'm sorry my love, I don't know what went wrong." you falter for a second not knowing what to think.

At that moment the flicker becomes a flame.

The man who stands right before you is meant to be dead, never to be seen again. By all accounts this should be impossible, but Lev has always been a fighter.

Bitterness stings your heart, the wounds you've collected are still fresh but despite your body's protests you don't flinch when he gently takes a hold of your wrist, bringing it closer to his mouth.

"Lev...? Is that really you...?" You ask desperately.

The warm kiss he presses against your pulse point provides you with the answer you've been longing for.