#and like... things are far more complicated than that?

[postracehair]

trust me

max verstappen x reader | 2.3k

after an incredible (and wet) weekend in brazil, you have a confession to make.

cw: a loving relationship! discussion of anxiety/fear/worrying about your race car driver bf, healthy communication, and softness galore.

a/n: being a wag must be so stressful. like, damn! also, rain races stress me out, personally. this fic is about that.

__

The triple header comes to an end in the best way possible.

Max Verstappen wins the São Paulo Grand Prix from a 17th-place start! It's the stuff of dreams. The fist around your heart unclenches just a little bit as you watch him smiling, roaring, hoisting his well-earned trophy aloft. It's your best day in a long time, watching your darling boyfriend like that, and you celebrate with everyone late into the night. The Championship battle looms in the background but tonight is about the hard work from the weekend. The stress, the frustration, the damn rain. All of it worth it for the pride you all feel right now.

But what comes after -- that, you can admit, you enjoy even more. Three weeks until Las Vegas and Max and the team have plenty of work to do before then, but for now? For now, it's this: rest.

Everyone gets to go home, finally. And for you, home is wherever Max is. You've spent the first few days of the break thus far at his place. On the floor with the cats, on the couch watching movies. In his bed, sleeping, sometimes, other times... not so much. Hours and hours just being together. You'll have plenty of time for this once the season ends but you can never get enough of him.

You're on the couch, sprawled across the length of it with a book in hand. It's a good one, so much so that you don't notice Max until he taps your ankle and you jump.

"Jesus," you gasp. His lips are pulled up at one corner in the precursor to a full grin, sweatpants slung low enough that you can see the branded band of his underwear between the drawstrings and the hem of his t-shirt. "Where did you come from?"

"Watching race replays," he says with a shrug. "Scooch." You tug your legs back and sit up a little, bookmarking your page as he rounds the couch and plops down where your feet were.

"Max," you whine. "I like to watch those, too. So you can do that thing where you narrate like, every second." You're teasing, but only a little. For all the jokes about "maxplaining," you really do love how he explains things. He tells you what he was thinking at every turn, what the trick is, how long it took him to get it right. He points out his mistakes and those of the other drivers. All of it thoroughly and with enthusiasm, answering your questions like you're the best student he's ever had.

"Yeah, well," he says, sinking into the couch, arm stretched across the cushions towards you. Your eyes rake over the line of his bicep as he talks. "You don't like rain races very much. Wasn't sure you'd want to see it again."

That gets your attention. "How did you know that?" You've never told him outright that they stress you out. It's really important to you that you keep your cool at the track, that you don't do anything to let on that he should worry about you.

But you should know better, it seems.

"I can tell," Max says, looking right at you. "I pay attention."

You hum, not sure what to say. "You've got me there," you confess. "I'm sorry."

"Hey," he tuts. "Why the apology? You can feel however you want to. This weekend was complicated."

He feels too far away. You set your book on the ground and shove your toes under this thigh. He keeps his eyes on your face but you fuss with the hem of your t-shirt rather than look back.

"They're exciting. Rain races, I mean." You sigh. "But I can't help but worry, Max. From the garage, it's so --"

You lose track of your words because Max grabs hold of your legs and tugs them over his thighs as he moves closer to you, almost crowding you against the arm of the couch. He reaches for your collarbone to pick some lint from your shirt, his other arm slung across your calves.

"Were you scared?" he asks. "This weekend, I mean."

Frankly, you avoid telling him things like this because you don't want to distract him. You don't want to detract from his performance in any way and maybe that's selfish, because you know he's very good at what he does and how you feel isn't going to derail his weekend. But you know he loves you, and you know how deeply he feels things. How much he wants to be a good partner, a good driver, a good man. And you try really hard to let him know that he is all of those things.

The reality of your position in his life is that there will always be people who heavily imply that your presence, your actions, your choices could be at fault. It's ludicrous -- Max has said so many times -- but it makes you hype-aware. You don't want to overstep. It's something you know you should articulate to him properly, but you know he'll be upset that you think you can be anything but a good part of his life. It's an endless cycle.

"Hey," he says, mistaking your silence for emotion. "Liefje, I'm fine." He reaches for you, cupping your cheek with a warm hand. You look up at him and find him frowning.

"I know," you say, leaning into his palm. "I know you are. I just -- I don't want it to sound like I'm a whining baby or something."

"Whining baby?" Max gently rubs the skin under your eye with his thumb. "Psh. We've got some of those on track. You couldn't come close to them if you tried."

That gets a laugh out of you and he cracks a smile at the small victory.

You sigh. "I was scared," you admit, voice soft. Max presses a little closer to you, his hand falling from your face to catch yours, fingers twining together.

"Are you always scared?" he asks. "You're more tense on rain weekends, I can tell that much. But you've never really talked about this. I guess I--" He frowns again. "I've never really asked you."

"That's okay," you say. "It's nothing, really."

Blue eyes bore into yours. "No, I want to know," he presses. "Please, tell me?"

You tip your head back a little, eyes on the ceiling. How to say it?

"I guess I'm always a little scared, yeah," you say. "I don't know how I wouldn't be."

He tugs on your hand so you'll look at him. "What is it, do you think?" The question comes out in his typical way. This must be how he is in driver briefings, you think fleetingly. Max is analytical, methodical, always looking for the root of the problem so he can understand it and adapt.

But how do you explain this?

"Well, it's a dangerous sport," you explain. "As you know. And I -- Max, I love you, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

The furrow of his brow lessens a bit and he presses a light kiss to the back of your hand. Your stomach flutters, even after all this time.

But Max has no time for your mooning, apparently. "Were you scared before we knew each other?" he asks.

You think about it. "It's different, I guess. I was worried, generally. For all of you. I'm still worried for all of you, but --"

His eyebrow quirks and he fails to hide a cheeky smile. "Me the most?"

You roll your eyes and squeeze his hand. "You the most. But don't tell Carlos that."

Max tuts. "So, now it's just worse? You feel it more?"

Nodding, you try to explain. "I don't even like watching on TV, now, because I'm so far away. I feel so helpless."

You can't make it to every race but you try your hardest, not only to support Max but for your own sanity. It's easier to calm yourself down when you're around other people who believe in him, when you have access to all the details and when he's only a few steps away when he's out of the car.

"I don't want you to be worried," he says, softly. "You don't let on that you are when we say goodbye before the race, aside from being a little tense."

One of your favorite pieces of race weekends -- those few moments when all of his attention is on you. He makes sure you have everything you need and leaves you with a kiss and a smile and a see you later. His confidence and his competence are like balms.

"When I'm looking at you, I'm not as stressed," you say, a bit shy. "You're very good at your job, you know. And your confidence is convincing."

"I know," he says, seriously. "That's why I know it'll be fine. Do you not know that?"

If he was less determined, you'd ask him to drop it, since you're starting to feel embarrassed. But you know he won't let it lie.

"I know it, too, Max." You reach for his face to push back some fringe from his forehead. "I'll always be worried about you, though. You get in the car and drive away and I just -- sit there. And wait for you to come back."

He frowns, deeper this time. You keep your hand on him, cupping his jaw and running your thumb along his stubble.

"And I love it. You know I was a fan before I met you and it's a dream to be there to watch you race. I love seeing you do crazy things like win from p17. It's so much fun."

He knows this about you. You've got a bit of a reputation for your facial expressions in the Red Bull garage, always the first on your feet when he overtakes, jumping up and down when he extends his lead. It's an infectious kind of joy and energy and you lean into it every time, even if your stomach is churning with anxiety.

Max is quiet for a few moments. He covers your hand with his and leans into it further.

"You trust me, right?"

"Of course," you say right away. "Always."

"I've never really thought about it," he says, slowly. "I mean, in the car. I don't worry about you because I'm not worried, so I just thought you knew not to be, too."

"I'll always worry, Max. Even though I trust you."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Your cheeks heat and you look away from him, pulling your hand free to cradle it in your lap.

"You've got a million other things to worry about besides me," you say. "I don't want to distract you."

Max says your name with a scoff, literally waving his hand as if swatting away your silly notions. "Distract me? Come on," he says. "I wouldn't be a three-time world champion if I could get so easily distracted." He leans into your space, nosing at your jaw. "Even if you are very distracting."

You allow the attention for a few moments before pushing him back with a laugh. His cheeks are flushed, hair a bit of a mess, like after he takes off his helmet. And, god, he looks relaxed. You're so proud of him you can hardly stand it. The season is almost over and you know he's got a lot of work ahead of him, and you've got a lot of worrying. But he's motivated, and you know he can win. You know he'll come back to you.

Max leans his head back on the couch and casts his gaze sideways at you, nose scrunched. "I can't fix this, can I? You're still going to worry."

He sounds so resigned, so disappointed in himself that you tug on his hand so he'll get closer. This time, you frame his face with your hands and kiss him, just a light press of your lips to his. Both of you sigh into it, and you drag your mouth along his cheek until you reach his ear.

"I'm still going to worry," you whisper. "But I love you and I trust you. And I know it'll be okay."

Max sighs and presses his forehead to your shoulder, practically pulling you into his lap so he can wrap his arms around you.

"You better hope it doesn't rain for the rest of the season," he mumbles.

"That damn VSC," you groan, pulling back from him a bit. "I was going to tear my hair out!"

Max laughs. "It kept things interesting," he says lightly. "Rain isn't really a problem for me, schatje, you know this --"

"Because you're Dutch, I know, Max." You roll your eyes. "Even Fernando couldn't keep it together! I mean, the gasps from the garage when --"

The seriousness of your conversation fades as you trade tidbits about the race -- you've done this already, hashed it out in the hotel room and the flight home and in bed since Sunday. Max watches you talk, elbow braced on the couch and his head resting in his hand. His eyes sparkle and you know you're amusing him as he corrects you on the turn names and who went in the wall when. Max loves you: you've never doubted this. He loves you and he cares about how you feel and doesn't want you to be worried.

And while you will be, because you love him, you know that it'll be alright.

"Hey," Max says, interrupting your opinions about start procedures. "I love you, okay? Thank you for worrying about me."

"Graag gedaan," you say. Well, you try to say. Max laughs and corrects your pronunciation. You're welcome, he says, over and over, a kiss to your cheeks, your nose, your forehead each time. Ik houd van je. Your lips, your neck, your jaw.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

[jessica-problems]

Les Femmes Damnées: Fuck! Marry! Kill!

Invent a lesbian. Roll 4d6 or pick:

Invent 1-3 more. Relationships between every pair start with 1d6 passion and 1d6 trust. 

Each turn, roll 2d6 for each woman's behavior(see table). Pick who she impacts, adjust their relationship stats accordingly. (Or spend 1 trust to reroll.) Journal the results.

At 15+ Passion: If Trust is 0 or less: Murder Attempt. Whoever has more trusted allies survives & gets -2d6 trust with the other’s allies. If Trust is greater than 0: Marriage. When one cheats, she gets -1d6 trust with her wife. Play until everyone’s dead or married.

Author's Note: I'm really quite proud of this one. Earlier drafts were titled Bad Women Kissing Each Other, and I still can't decide which name I like better. "Invent a lesbian" is possibly my favorite way I have ever introduced the rules of a game. Game length does significantly increase as you add more lesbians. Each additional woman effectively doubles the amount of numbers to keep track of. In playtesting, we found that 3 lesbians was a good sweet spot. I had a whole lot of fun iterating on this idea, figuring out how to express complicated passions in such a tight word count. I'm actively choosing not to spend more time fine-tuning the resource economy. This was supposed to be a fun quick thing and I've already spent almost a week on it. I'm quite proud of how much storytelling I was able to pack into what is basically "roll on this table over and over again". If I had just a few hundred more words, I think I might be able to turn this into something really special.

I also want to thank several very helpful playtesters: Misty, Chills, Neither.nor and Crox, who all gave very good feedback and suggestions. Misty also came up with the *excellent* subtitle. It captures the entire arc of the game in three words.

Counting by hand, and the word count on google docs, both put this at exactly 200 words, including the charts. And I like to think this game uses every one of them to the fullest. The 200-word-rpg official counter puts this at 224 words. As far as I can tell, the difference is in how it divides up math expressions. You have my permission to archive this game offsite. Anyone who wants to also has my full permission to hack this, remix it, or do whatever they want with it. You could get a whole lot of mileage out of just changing the words in the first table.

200 Word RPGs 2024

Each November, some people try to write a novel. Others would prefer to do as little writing as possible. For those who wish to challenge their ability to not write, we offer this alternative: producing a complete, playable roleplaying game in two hundred words or fewer.

This is the submission thread for the 2024 event, running from November 1st, 2024 through November 30th, 2024. Submission guidelines can be found in this blog's pinned post, here.

[katiascraft]

"Him" | LN4

Parings: Lando Norris x bestie!reader.

Summary: Oblivious idiots to lovers. That's what Max said.

Word count: +2,7k.

Warnings: nooone just pure fluff and some language hehe. Not a native english speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.

Author's note: AAAAAAA i loved writting this one 🥹 Dont forget to comment, like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

“You only say that because you fancy him, y/n. You can't play with me”Max said out of nowhere while talking about the whole Lando drama and his fourth championship at Danny Ric’s house. Your three have been best friends for quite some time now. Actually, you have been friends with most of the grid for a couple of years now. They were like family to you and recently, you moved countries to live and study in Monaco and be able to spend more time with your friends.

“What have you just said motherfucker?” you acted offended. Nethertheless it took you by surprise that he said such a thing when you have never talked about Lando and your feelings for him with him nor danny. But Max knew you too well to already know the whole story. Of course Danny laughen and you could feel the heat going up your face. You feel exposed so you try to cover up by drinking another sip from your glass of white wine. You thank god it was in the privacy of Danny's house and not some random bar for everyone to hear.

“Oh c’mon y/n, i think it’s pretty too obvious by now” max continued noticing the panic and surprise on your face.

“Yeah, it is obvious and cute to see how you drool, staring at him everytime he talks. And not to mention you eat him alive at races when he is all sweaty -” danny continued the torture but you stopped them both making them laugh.

“Just stop!” you said “you guys are impossible!” your face was red and anxiety took over you for a moment.you sighed defeated. “To be honest with you, yeah, I do like him. But lets be real, im nt even his type at all” you said remembering how he was kissing magui, that model he fucks now and the, kind of a situationship, in front of your fucking face the whole night a few weeks ago. “And even as impossible as it sounds, if there was an actual chance for me with him, we wouldn't work either. I'm complicated. And he doesn't see me like that. He never did. And i'm sure that won't change like ever” you added just convince yourself of everything you said. It was impossible, right? There was no chance in this universe for him to see you like that. You are so far from what he used to date. It's just an innocent crush. You’ll meet someone,right? You saw Max denying with his head.

“y/n, i know you are not the most confident human being i know but be fucking for real, you are not complicated. And everything you said it's nonsense. You are fun to be around, you make him laugh until he pisses himself, you give him his favorite things, you bake him cookies and pies, you listen to him when he is sad, you are like the bestest person next to him. And let me tell you, I have no doubts he is into you as much as you are. It's in your eyes guys. You love each other more fondly than you want to admit” he said leaving you speechless for a moment and with a mess of confusion around your head. You wanted to believe him but at the same time you can’t.

“Mic drop, sir” Danny said and they both laughed. You smiled but rolled your eyes in disbelief.

“I wish” you finally said, making Max roll his eyes.

“Two oblivious idiots, can you believe it danny?” Max said ironically and Danny followed him.

“I see it mate. It's sad. I wanna cry” he said.

“You guys are impossible." You declared to go back to your trivial talk about cats and australia barbecue.

(...)

It was a beautiful saturday. You were thankful Ria said yes to accompany you to buy a new outfit for tonight's party. Martin Garrix was in town and lando invited you all to his friend's show. Coffees in hand, you were chatting about everything and anything.

“So the plan is a sexy outfit just to impress your boy?” she teased and you rolled your eyes.

“Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea that I like lando? As if he would care what I wear or not” you said, a little irritated. You just wanted to conquer someone else tonight to forget about all of this and move one. You knew it was impossible that Lando liked you back so why be stuck in it? You were gonna dress up and doll up and conquer whoever you may please. That was your masterplan.

“Girl, you need to relax. I say it first hand: he cares a lot fucking much. He likes you. I just know.but you two are too dumb to accept it” she said raising her shoulders.

You felt so confused once again. These were Lnados friends who knew him just like you did. First it was Max and Danny and now it is ria. You didn't want to fool yourself. And at the same time you wanted him to know for the longest time. You wanted him to notice you. And you also knew him and you knew how he is with girls and if he liked you then he would've told you by now.

“Ria, dont play with me” you begged. Concern showed in your voice. She gave you a gentle hug by your side.

“I won't ever do that to you y/n. I would never in a million years forgive myself if I did. You're my friend and I just want you to be happy. Believe me” her voice was soft and sweet. You just smile and change the subject. You didn't want to discuss this anymore. Nor did you think you could handle it.

(...)

Saturday night finally came and so did the margaritas you so dearly adore when you needed to forget reality. You were pretty tipsy by now. You met Franco Colapinto and you didn't even know he was invited but oh god he was so fun to be around. You've Been talking to him the whole night about whatever to be honest.and yeah, he looked really hot tonight by the way. You felt lucky he even looked at you and so you followed around.

You bumped into Max at the bar table after ordering yet another margarita. He looked at you a little tipsy as well.

“So you replaced lando for an argentine prince, huh?” He teased you.

“Oh shut the fuck up verstappen. Were in public” you said going back to the barman who was handing you your precious margarita drink. He rolled his eyes.

“Be careful. Lando's not happy” he said and disappeared into the people holding his vodka with red bull. Weird mix but he was loyal to his employers i guess.

You came back to where Franco was waiting for you to be back. He looked so cute under the lights in that white shirt he was wearing. And speaking of white shirt you saw Lando talking to him. You cursed yourself right there. You may or may not have ignored him the whole night. But you just couldn't face him after what all your friends said. You just didn't want to be tempted by his pretty shiny green eyes and his mouth. Oh what you'd give up just to taste his lips.

“Oh there is the missing girl,” Lando said, looking at you when you arrived and smiling nervously. The tension established between you two even Franco noticed it.

“Guess it is my turn to go to the bar. Be right back, guys” he said and left the two of you alone. You took a sip from your glass avoiding his sight.

“What's wrong with you?” he said kind of offended? Anger could be clearly heard in his voice. You sighed not knowing what to answer.

“What do you mean lando?” you decided to play the fool. You wanted to run away. His eyes were intimidating you.

“One day we watch movies together and bake cookies and the other you ignore me for several days and even flirt with another dude straight to my face?” what he just told you took you by surprise. You frowned, confused at his statement. The tension was burning your throat. He got closer and so you finally faced him. You looked at him. His face straight and his eyes dark with a little sparkle. You couldn't read what was going on inside him. Maybe he was just as confused as you were. “You look too pretty in that dress to be talking to him and not me” you could breathe his warm breath tasting tequila mixed with lemon. You swallowed hard. Your insides exploded. what was happening? He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him. His touch burns your skin sending shivers down your spine. This was actually happening? Your hands were shaking. You really thought about what to tell him. A devilish smile appeared in his face when he thought he left you speechless. But you weren't ready to let him win.

“Well, for your information, I'm single and I can talk to wherever my vagina pleases so that shouldn't be none of your business. Also, why would I talk to you if you have been talking with more than one girl tonight? I'm a selective lady. What can I say” you smiled innocently.

He bit his lip. He tightened his grip around you. More possessive. More irresistible. Your innocent smile turns into a triumph smile. ”so if you dont mind i’ll keep talking to Franco and luckly fuck him. Have a good night Landito” you said provocatively leaving lando hanging into his words as you pulled away and walked away from him. His brain is malfunctioning.

And as you promised you kissed and fucked Franco Colpinto that night.

(...)

It was already the next sunday and Lando had disappeared. There was nowhere to be found. He didn't reply to your texts nor your calls. He became just dead silent. That made you feel even more confused than you already were. What did it mean what happened at the party? What were his intentions? Why didn't you kiss him? You were torn into feeling guilty and stupid at the same time. Like you had an actual chance with him but you didn't take it. And you didn't even know why. You hated yourself so much for that. How stupid.

Max, Lando's best friend, invited you over along with Pietra and Lando. You were cooking some vanilla flavored cookies with chocolate chips. The famous crumble cookies. Lando has been pretty much ignoring you. And you have been really quiet. Very unusual both ways. The tension was irritating. Max and Pietra tried to play it cool but it was very uncomfortable. When Lando came back from the bathroom, Max took him into the terrace and you stayed with pietra inside in the kitchen doing your stuff.

“Babe, what happened between you two?” she sounded genuinely worried. You sighed stressed.

“To be honest with you, I don't know. After a weird moment at the party last Saturday, he has been ust ignoring me. I didn't know if he was even alive if Max didn't invite us here. Very childish in my opinion but what can I say? I Didn't face him either.” you explained and pietra frowned her eyebrows.

“You need to talk honey. You need to tell him” she said, sobbing in your arms. You pressed your lips together looking outside through the glass door straight to lando seriously talking to max.

(...)

After the worst and most traumatic hang around with Max and Pietra - the cookies were great by the way - Lando offered to give you a ride and you said yes. Probably the worst decision of your life because the tensi could be cut by a knife and it was hard to breathe of how dense the air was inside the car. His radio was playing Jmaes Blunt ‘you’re beautiful". It was one of your favorite songs. How pretty was to you to enamour someone just by existing in the subway going to work or going back from university. You just romanticized that idea. You started mumbling the lyrics in a whisper just to not disrupt his comfort. But after a few seconds he turned off the radio and you looked at him weirded out.

“I can't do this anymore,” he said, parking his car on the side of the road. Anxiety kicked you. You licked your lips looking at your hands and he was just starting to nowhere outside his car window.

“I really like you y/n. I am in love with you in fact. And dim so stupid i realized about it when i saw you with Franco kissing. His hands touching you grossed me out. It felt wrong because that should've been me - not him” he finally looked at you. What he just said took you by surprise and you wanted to cry but holded inside. You looked back at him. The knot in your throat was unbearable.

“We are idiots,” you said, remembering what Max said to you a couple of months ago.”Because I'm in love with you. I was too afraid to tell you and ruin what he had. Losing you terrifies me. And to be honest I just thought you wouldn't even look at me that way. I never felt pretty enough for you, I don't know why” when he heard you say that last sentence his heart sank.

“I always felt you were out of my league to be honest. Please, y/n, you're gorgeous, and funny as fuck, and intelligent, and sweet and such a great person. You're almost perfect. Don't ever talk about you like that. I'm just an idiot. A normal stupid ass dude. Don't compare yourself like that ever again” he said feeling a little guilty for you to feel that way even though it was not his fault.

You gave him a soft smile nodding.”you know? I can't believe every single friend of yours told me for months that you liked me and I just couldn't believe it. How dumb I gotta be. So I'll fight the intelligent compliment of yours” you said, making him laugh.

“But let's be honest, who thinks straight when they are in love?” he said with the most precious smile and sparkly eyes looking at you so fondly. You knew you had heart eyes in your eyes.

“Fair point” you said, smiling widely. And you giggled out of nervousness. He did too.

Two kids in love. You dreamed about this day for so many years. You just hoped that it wasn't another dream because it felt like one. And without asking, Lando took you out of your self doubt and inner conversion pressing his lips into yours in the most felt kiss you have ever given. The man that you are Lando norris. You cupped his face on your hands making the kiss more intimate and passionate. A kiss you two wanted to give for so long. You said everything in that kiss. You just knew this was it. This was the start of the most exciting and magical love story. And it was yours.

It was him. It has always been him. Lando. Your best friend. Him and no one else by your side.

(...)

Your eyes filled with tears of joy. You were at the wedding of one of your best friends: max verstappen. Lando was holding your hand gently and so dearly. They were speaking their vows and everything was so emotional. You were such a sensitive soul. Lando loved that about you. So pure in emotions. So vulnerable yet so strong and brave. That was you and watching the isle,he knew it was you who was gonna be there with him when the moment came around. The bride kissed the man and you two cheered the new wife and husband of the group. You looked at Lando for a moment knowing he was the love of your life and it was gonna be you two there one day.

What you did not expect was to take in your own hands the wife’s bouquet announcing you were next in line to get married. Youcelebrated in happiness and laughter around your friends and Lando. You kissed him so fondly.

“I love you bestie” you said between his lips grabbing him by the neck, the bouquet in one of your hands.

“I love you bestie, forever” he said with heart eyes hugging you looking at you with love in every fiber of his body.

“Forever and always” you assured him.

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Hope you liked it 💌 if you have any idea my inbox is open so send your requests!

[tooclevertobehappy]

Hidden in plain sight Part.1

TRIGGER WARNING : Mention of child abuse

Clara’s body ached with exhaustion, but it wasn’t the kind of tiredness that could be fixed with a good night’s sleep. It was the kind that settled deep in her bones—emotional exhaustion that no amount of training could burn off.

Being seventeen and juggling both school and a football career had already complicated many aspects of her life, but she had managed fairly well so far. After a year and a half at Barcelona, she had grown accustomed to the demands of her sport and the rigors of school. But then her mother left, abandoning their home in the middle of the night without even leaving a note. Clara and her father were left behind, their home life—once a stable source of comfort and safety—slowly unraveling before her eyes.

At first, her father stayed strong, clinging to the belief that his wife would return and life would eventually go back to normal. But she never did. The ball crashed against the goalpost with more force than necessary, Clara’s shoulders tensed with every shot. Each kick was a release—a scream she couldn’t let out, a rage that no one could see. The field was her escape, but even here, the weight of her home pressed down on her chest, harder with every breath, her father sank deeper into his own grief.

He eventually turned to alcohol to numb the pain, drinking more and more each day. It started with an occasional glass, but soon, Clara would come home from practice to find him already drunk, slumped on the couch with a beer bottle in hand.

They had an unspoken arrangement. Clara would stay out of her father’s way, retreating to her room as soon as she got home. She’d only come out once she was sure he had passed out on the couch, to quietly prepare herself something to eat before heading back to her room to do homework and get some sleep.

This pattern continued for a while, until it began to deteriorate further. Clara would hear the familiar sound of the bottle cap twisting off before she even stepped inside the door. His mood swings from slurred words of "I miss her" to violent outbursts, as though each day was a reminder that her mother wasn’t coming back.

At first, it was just snide remarks thrown her way or orders to clean up after him, his words, once laced with sadness, now carried a bite—clipped commands, accusing glares when she was late, his footsteps heavy with impatience. He no longer cared to hide it, but it soon escalated. He shoved her against walls, screamed at her, blamed her for her mother’s departure, and even threw beer cans at her.

Clara had no choice but to handle it on her own. She couldn't tell her teammates about it, not when she had spent years idolizing them and had finally earned a spot playing alongside them.

When Ingrid casually commented on Clara’s new bruise, Clara forced a smile, her heart thumping in her chest. “Clumsy,” she’d said, but her eyes avoided Ingrid’s, the words tasting like ash in her mouth.

She couldn't let anything ruin this opportunity, so she kept quiet.

She didn’t confide in Alexia about the fear she felt every time she went home. She didn’t tell Mapi or Ingrid about the bruises on her body during their weekly dinners. She didn’t explain why she avoided changing in front of them, letting them assume it was just typical teenage shyness. Clara had always been quiet and reserved, but she’d grown close to Ingrid and Mapi. She appreciated Ingrid’s calm nature and quiet talks, and found comfort in Mapi’s endless monologues. So, it wasn’t surprising when one of them noticed that something was wrong.

Ingrid had always admired Clara’s quiet strength, how she was always the first to show up for team dinners, never complaining, always reliable. But lately, she’d noticed the cracks—Clara’s forced smile, the way she’d fidget with her hands when they spoke, the silence that stretched longer than it should. Ingrid knew something was wrong, but Clara had always been so good at hiding things.

Clara had never missed one of their dinners, not even when she had been sick. She had once shown up at practice with a fever but still managed to smile through it. So when Clara declined this week's dinner, citing homework, Ingrid immediately felt something was off. Clara had been pulling away lately—she was quieter, more withdrawn, and had been avoiding team hangouts and dinners. Ingrid started to worry. Concerned, she decided to visit Clara at home, hoping to understand what had been going on.

Ingrid arrived at Clara’s house a short while later. She had dropped Clara off there many times before, so she knew the way well. As she parked on the street and walked up to the door, she hesitated for a moment, unsure of what she might find, before taking a deep breath and knocking.

She waited long enough to wonder if she should try knocking again when the door creaked as it finally opened, it was a man who answered, she recognize him from photos she’d been showed by Clara a few months ago, it’s her father, but he looks nothings like the man she’d seen on the pictures, gone was the gentle smile and kind eyes, the man in front of her looked disheveled, his clothes dirty, and the smell of alcohol and stale air hit Ingrid immediately.

"What do you want?" he slurred.

Ingrid forced herself to stay calm ignoring the worry swirling deep in her stomach. "Where is Clara?"

His bloodshot eyes flickered to Ingrid, narrowing as if he recognized her but couldn’t quite place her. His lips twitched with some emotion she couldn’t quite read before he spat, “She’s not here.” The words felt more like an accusation than an answer, and before Ingrid could react, the door slammed in her face

Ingrid took a couple of steps back bewildering at the man’s reaction, but as she did, she noticed Clara’s car parked just a few meters away and she could recall seeing her shoes scattered on the ground inside just by the door.

Her stomach tightened. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. But despite her concerns, she hesitated. Clara had told her that she was swamped with homework just a couple of days ago, so maybe it was nothing. Maybe she was overreacting.

Reluctantly, Ingrid got back in her car and headed home, though the unease lingered in her gut. Once at her apartment, she was joined by Mapi, who had heard the keys in the lock and quickly got up from the couch always happy to see her girlfriend.

"No nena?" Mapi asked, a soft frown overtaking the smile on her face.

"No... I talked to her father, though," Ingrid replied, trying to sound casual but failing as her voice cracked in the middle of her sentence.

"And?" Mapi asked, standing beside her.

"Not much. He said she wasn’t there," Ingrid sighed, rubbing her forehead. "But her car and shoes were there."

Mapi’s eyes narrowed as she processed this. "What else?" she asked, sensing something more was troubling Ingrid.

Ingrid hesitated before speaking, her voice low. "The house was a mess, Mapi. His clothes were dirty, the floor was a mess... and he smelled like alcohol. Something just doesn’t sit right with me. And Clara’s just been…” she sighs not ending her sentence.

Mapi’s concern grew. "What’s been happening with Clara lately?"

"She’s pulling away from all of us," Ingrid explained, her voice trembling with worry. "She’s not talking as much, not coming to dinners, barely at practice, always leaving in a hurry... I don’t know, Mapi. Something’s wrong." she raises her head looking directly in Mapi’s eyes seemingly begging her to believe her.

Mapi gently took Ingrid’s hand, leading her to the sofa. They sat wrapped in each others’ arms in silence for a moment, Ingrid’s words hanging in the air. Before Mapi finally spoke.

"Why don’t we just text her and see what she says? Maybe she’s really busy with homework." Mapi was still talking, but Ingrid barely heard her. Her mind was racing. Maybe Clara was just busy. Maybe she was hiding something. But what if she wasn’t okay? Ingrid couldn’t take the chance. She grabbed her phone and typed: "Hi Nena, I tried to come say hi, but you weren’t at your house. Hope you’re doing well and hopefully we can reschedule our dinner soon. Love, Ing."

She showed the message to Mapi for approval, then sent it. They both waited anxiously, Ingrid fidgeting with her phone, her nerves growing as the minutes passed. Finally, Ingrid’s phone dinged with a new message.

Ingrid tapped the screen, feeling her heartbeat in her throat. The message loaded, and she froze. It was brief—too brief—and colder than she’d expected. Her stomach churned

"Hola Ingrid, sorry I’m at the library doing homework. Maybe next week for the dinner? See you tomorrow,"

The three of them had gotten close over the past few months, the couple had taken the young girl under their wing and had never denied the parenting allegation when it came to them, they liked watching over her as Clara had proven herself a great teammate and an ever better friend.

Ingrid’s fingers hovered over the phone, anxiety coiling in her stomach. What if Clara was lying? What if she was too afraid to ask for help? And what if-

Ingrid let out a long sigh and showed the text to Mapi, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Maybe she’s really busy," Mapi suggested gently, rubbing Ingrid’s back. "We can’t jump to conclusions just yet."

"But what if she’s not okay?" Ingrid states as she stands up, pacing the room. "What if she’s lying to us about something as simple as this? What if she won’t be honest with us when we ask her directly?" she desperately asks

Mapi stood up too and pulled Ingrid into an embrace, holding her close as she rubbed her back soothingly, pressing small kisses on her shoulder. Mapi’s hand found Ingrid’s, and she gently pulled her closer. « I know you’re scared. But we’ll figure this out. If something feels wrong tomorrow at practice, we’ll do whatever we have to do. But we can’t jump to conclusions yet, love. Not yet »

Ingrid nodded, though her worry hadn’t faded. But for now, all she could do was wait and hope she was wrong.

Ingrid lay awake long after Mapi had fallen asleep, staring at the ceiling. Her thoughts circled back to Clara, to the weight of her silence, and to the strange sense of dread that had settled in her gut. Something was terribly wrong. And she wasn’t sure they would be able to help before it was too late.

[hotshotsxyz]

heart is beating heavily

(buddie) (s8 spec) (1k) several people asked for more of this town is only gonna eat you so this is that. unfortunately i am still feeling evil, so please enjoy buck's pov of the same events :) btw the title of both of these fics comes from the song bloody shirt by to kill a king, which i played on repeat while writing these cw: mass shooting / gun violence

Buck’s breath leaves him in a sharp exhale when he hits the ground. It hurts, but not—not where it should. His chest, his back, they’re on fire. His head, though, as violently as he was thrown to the ground, never makes contact with the cement.

The only thing he can see now is Eddie. Eddie, hovering above him, eyes wild. He looks—cornered. Trapped. Only he’s the one pressing Buck into the sticky floor of the arena, not the other way around, and he doesn’t understand why.

“Eds,” he tries to say, but it comes out as more of a croak.

Eddie shakes his head sharply, almost—

Panicked.

Buck takes a breath and it hurts. His thoughts feel sluggish in a way they never really are. He tries to take stock of what he knows anyway.

His body is screaming in pain.

Eddie is afraid. (Why is Eddie afraid? What could possibly—)

They’re on the floor. (Eddie pushed him to the floor. Why would he—)

The space around them is filled with a cacophonous noise that Buck can’t quite identify.

Pain. Fear. Sharp popping noises that make Buck’s ears hurt, and—

Screaming.

Oh.

Buck presses his lips together and tips his chin toward his chest in an approximation of a nod. Eddie exhales, warm against his cheek. His face does something complicated, and then—

I’m sorry, Eddie mouths, and before Buck can figure out what for, white hot pain lances through his chest.

In his mind he screams.

In reality, he bites his tongue hard enough to draw blood. They’re in danger, and he won’t—As long as he’s still breathing, Eddie won’t leave him here. Even if he should. He won’t protect himself, won’t run, won’t hide. The least Buck can do is keep from drawing attention toward them, but in the moment, it feels like the hardest thing he’s ever done.

“—so good,” Eddie breathes into his ear. “I got you; I promise.”

Buck wants to believe that almost as much as he wishes Eddie would just save himself. Every breath he takes is harder than the one before, though, and it occurs to him that soon, he might draw his last. If he has to die, Eddie’s face is a pretty incredible last thing to see. He just wishes it wasn’t twisted in pain and fear.

It takes a minute for Buck to catch up with his own thoughts. Pain. That’s—he’s seen it in Eddie’s expression enough times to know it intimately. Why is he in pain? Eddie presses his cheek to Buck’s before he can interrogate the expression further.

“Slow, steady breaths, okay? You have to breathe through it, even if it feels like you can’t.”

The scrape of Eddie’s jaw against his sends something like a shiver down Buck’s spine. There’s something—something important, but—it feels just out of reach.

“You have to, Buck, I can’t—I just need you to hold on,” Eddie whispers, quietly wrecked.

He’s trying. God is he trying. But it’s—every breath feels like pulling fire into his lungs. With every exhale, he feels a tiny bit weaker, a tiny bit worse. Eddie pulls away slightly, and Buck feels the absence like a missing rib.

“Hear that?” Eddie asks, brushing a thumb across Buck’s cheekbone.

He doesn’t—he doesn’t hear anything other than Eddie, but he’s not sure he wants to.

“We’re so close, Buck.”

Something settles in his chest at the sound of his name on Eddie’s lips, louder than before, drenched in something that sounds like relief. He blinks once, twice, slow and heavy.

“Come on, eyes on me,” Eddie says sharply. And—oh, when did he get so far away?

Eddie pulls the hem of his shirt to his teeth and—oh god. That’s not Buck’s blood. He’s—Eddie’s hurt too, but Buck can’t make his mouth work, can’t even keep his eyes open long enough to—

“No!” Eddie commands. A new pain accompanies his voice. “You’re staying right here with me, got it?”

He has to—has to tell Eddie—he doesn’t—

“That’s perfect, you’re perfect,” Eddie says, eyes shining.

A lump forms in his throat.

“Just keep—c’mon Buck, just keep fighting. I need—you have to be okay.”

He does. He does have to be okay because Eddie’s not and he’s acting like he doesn’t even know.

“Hurt,” Buck forces out.

“I know,” Eddie says, but he doesn’t! “I know it hurts, I’m sorry.”

Buck lets out a frustrated groan. He tries to shake his head, and when that fails, to lift his hand to Eddie’s abdomen.

Eddie turns away from him, and if Buck could scream now, he would.

“Alright,” he says, turning back to Buck. “I’m going to get you onto that gurney. Let me do all the work, okay?”

No! No he can’t! Buck tries to tell him again, tries to force anything through his lips that Eddie will understand. You’re—“hurt,” he manages again. He can’t even lift his hand now. He’s dying and he’s going to take Eddie with him.

Eddie says something he can’t parse, and suddenly he’s moving, being lifted dizzyingly high off the ground. He sees—

A body. A swarm of cops. Uniformed paramedics and EMTs running in every direction imaginable.

One of them, he just needs one of them to look at Eddie. He just needs one of them to see. He’s still walking, still talking. He still has time.

Eddie drops him onto what must be a gurney, and immediately it begins to roll. Buck allows his head to loll away from Eddie and towards—

An EMT! She can—she can do something. She can—

She’s not looking at him.

She’s not looking at Eddie either. She’s looking straight ahead and under any other circumstances Buck would compliment her for her pragmatic understanding of the urgency of the situation. But she’s walking too fast and Eddie’s beginning to stumble.

“Diaz, is that—” Yes, yes! Someone sees him. Someone else knows—

“—were you shot?”

Buck gets his head around just in time to watch Eddie collapse into the arms of a firefighter he doesn’t recognize.

He wants to scream, to sob, to thrash against the restraints keeping him on the gurney. He wants to—

Wants to—

Needs—

Eddie.

[randum-famdoms]

As someone with a much larger vocabulary than the average American (due to various factors, but personally I attribute this to the terrible American education system more than anything else), I’ve genuinely considered starting to screen record while I’m writing essays for college as proof that I’m not using ai to cheat, unless you count spell check as ai. Which I don’t, and any sane person wouldn’t either.

AI checkers are faulty at best and genuinely broken beyond comprehension at worst. I lean towards the worst side of the scale. There have been countless cases of these things just flat out not working, whether that’s through false positives or not catching actual ai use.

I think the worst or maybe just weirdest case I’ve seen was a situation where one of my friend’s classmates got flagged for ai use because they included a block quote that the checker decided was suspicious. A fucking quote. Ya know, the one thing in an essay that you don’t write yourself.

Insanity.

I hadn’t heard about this trend of ai checkers forcing people to dumb down their words leading to actual published works being dumbed down before. I mean, I knew about the results, but I’d assumed that it was caused by the general trend of the American populous getting “dumber”. By which I mean that each year there are statically more people graduating with lower reading levels/worse understanding of how things like science and math work. It’s not their fault, the American education system is deeply flawed and underfunded more and more every year and far too many parents let iPads raise children instead of actually parenting. And the iPad baby bit is making things even worse year by year as more and more content for kids (and adults) is ai generated. It’s much more complicated than that, but I’m not about to go into minutia over this in a tumblr post.

The general trend toward content (including published books) being dumbed down is caused by a lot of factors. Pressure from publishers and higher ups, ai, the general lower standards of pre-college education (and college too, but less so for now), being raised by the internet, the fact that the internet is so consumed by ai and it worsens every day, the list goes on.

Ai isn’t the only source for these problems, but the fact remains that it is simultaneously the method being used to enforce the trend and most of the other sources can trace back their roots to AI in some way or another.

And frankly we can’t do Jack shit about it. At least, we can’t do anything to stop ai. It’s far too late for that.

What we can do is try for now to make sure our own writing isn’t mislabeled as AI, not by dumbing it down but rather by providing proof that you were the one to write it. We can make sure that when we have kids they don’t get access to ai and that they are raised by a human, not by a computer. We can try to help schools get more funding. We can rate books that haven’t been dumbed down higher than ones than have, and maybe even message publishers to tell them that they are idiots if they think their readers want something written so boringly.

We can’t stop generative ai, but we can learn how to coexist with it.

[rafeskai]

Never Really Left

A Rafe Cameron Social Media AU

Chapter Two

Summary: After four years away at NYU, you’re finally back in the Outer Banks, ready to reconnect with your brother, Topper, and the familiar faces you left behind. But things are different now: you’ve changed, the OBX has changed, and Rafe Cameron is not the boy you remember. Reuniting with him stirs up old feelings and new complications, as you’re drawn into the whirlwind of his intensity.

Pairings: Rafe Cameron x Thornton!Reader

Series Warnings: strong language, violence, substance use/abuse, mental health, toxic relationships and manipulation, sexual content, angst.

Masterlist: Here

Rafe's POV

Y/N's POV

The night was warm, a rare comfort in the Outer Banks’ summer, but you couldn’t sleep. Restless, you’d wandered outside to escape the confines of the house, only to find yourself in a familiar place—by the Cameron family dock. The last place you wanted to be, yet somehow, your feet had carried you here as if they knew better than your heart.

And then you saw him.

Rafe, leaning against his boat with that same easy posture, his profile outlined against the quiet water. Your heart stumbled, forgetting the thousand reasons you’d told yourself to leave him in the past, in New York, along with everything else you'd outgrown. But he looked up, and the way his eyes met yours felt like time folding in on itself. In that single glance, nothing had changed—same intense gaze, same cocky, half-smile tugging at his lips, as if he knew exactly the effect he had on you.

"Y/N," he murmured, voice low, laced with that familiar, dangerous warmth that made you want to run and stay all at once.

For a moment, words failed you. The only thing you could do was swallow and keep your voice steady. “Didn’t think I’d run into you here.”

He chuckled softly, pushing off the boat. "I could say the same," he replied, stepping closer, and you felt yourself caught in his orbit again, helpless to resist.

It was maddening. You wanted to laugh at the cruel irony of it all. Out of all the people in the world, of all the memories you’d hoped to outgrow, it was Rafe who slipped back into your life as if he’d never left, hitting right at your weakest spot. Every hurt, every tear you’d shed trying to forget him—all of it flashed back with his single glance. And yet, here you were, heart racing as he came close enough that his familiar scent—salt and that faint cologne you knew too well—wrapped around you like a net.

"Why are you back here, Y/N?" he asked, the question weighted, his gaze soft but searching. There was something in his eyes that made your breath catch, a glimmer of the Rafe you’d once fallen for—the one who held a piece of your heart, no matter how much you tried to bury it.

"Maybe… because I forgot how hard it was to let go of this place," you whispered, finally finding your voice, though you didn’t know if you meant the OBX or him.

He tilted his head, that trademark smirk turning softer, more vulnerable. “Funny,” he murmured. “Because I was starting to think I'd lost my chance to see you again."

The words landed, striking every part of you you’d tried to protect. But he kept looking at you, holding you in his gaze, and for a heartbeat, the past didn’t feel so far away. And despite every promise you’d made to yourself, you felt it—your heart slipping, falling, betraying you all over again.

© 2024 rafeskai | All rights reserved. This fanfiction is a work of fiction inspired by characters from Outer Banks, and no part of it may be reproduced or distributed without permission.

[mothiir]

writing proper fic still eluding me so here is a list of how i think the primarchs would respond to their sons trying to romance human women:

Sanguinius - he isn’t thrilled about the idea, not because he thinks that love and romance is a bad thing — quite the opposite — but because he knows the tragic fate many of his sons will suffer. What human woman can survive the tribulations of the red thirst? How many of his boys will end up tearful and repentant after their control slipped, and they hurt the human they love? Mortals are so fragile — it is better to act as their guardian than their lover. Still, if he were to find out that one of his sons was seeing a mortal, he would simply gently suggest that the son in question take every proper precaution — ultimately, the choice must belong to them.

Vulkan - yes! great idea! Please do have relationships with humans - have children, rear families. When the time comes for them to pass, mourn them, but celebrate the life you were blessed to share with them. You cannot call yourself the protectors of humanity if you do not partake in it. Salamanders live amongst their human families, and relish in the kinship and love this brings them. Vulkan has given away many a Salamander in marriage.

Ferrus Manus - sex is self-indulgent nonsense. Be better. He is not the sort of man to give his sons relationship advice — nor are they the type to ask it — so he never makes an official proclamation against having mortal lovers, because Iron Hands are far too sensible to even consider it (rumours that they replace their dicks with ceramite remain unaddressed).

Horus - The Luna Wolves are — uh — enthusiastic about their involvement with humanity. Unlike Vulkan, Horus discourages lengthy attachments — have a fling if you must, have several (don’t let those flings find out about each other), but don’t try and settle down. Luna Wolves are soldiers, designed to conquer distant stars in their father’s name. One day, they will be able to plant roots in rich earth, and rear sons of their own. But not now. Not yet.

Leman Russ — Humanity is a beautiful thing, and its daughters are more beautiful yet. Leman doesn’t begrudge his sons their dalliances, nor does he discourage them from wedding — he just asks that they remember that their first duty is to the Allfather, and the pack. As long as they don’t get any ideas about sneaking off somewhere to retire, everything is fine. Russ welcomes his son’s wives to his fires — and, if they’re amenable, to his furs.

Fulgrim — much like Sanguinius, Fulgrim has complicated feelings about human women. He’s been married four times, loved each wife dearly, and had to watch them die of one ailment or another. He wants to spare his sons the torment he felt, but he also doesn’t want to deny them the full range of human experience. He ends up encouraging them to cultivate an artistic appreciation for romance — a sort of courtly love, where they paint pictures of the woman they like, and write poetry, but never actually engage in anything too direct. If he keeps their love aesthetic and sterile and distant then maybe they can avoid the heart-deep pain that comes from watching your lover perish.

The Lion - are you kidding me? His sons don’t even want to admit that they know what a woman is, just in case he somehow takes it as an insult and they end up banished.

[aventurineswife]

Love and Boundaries

Tags: @aloudice, Dad!Aventurine x Parent!Reader, Established Relationship, Parenting, Family Fluff, Soft Aventurine, Parental Support, Gentle Reprimand, Disciplining, Love and Respect, Family Bond, Protective Aventurine.

[Inspired By]

Aventurine stood near the doorway of the living room, his eyes carefully following the scene unfolding before him. The soft hum of the evening air mingled with the occasional scolding tone of your voice as you gently but firmly reprimanded your child.

“You know better than this, sweetheart,” you said, keeping your tone calm but serious. “You can’t just go around breaking things because you're angry.”

The child, their small face scrunched up in frustration, crossed their arms tightly over their chest. Their eyes flickered with defiance before they muttered, “I hate you! I don’t care about your stupid rules!”

Aventurine’s lips pressed into a thin line, his mind whirring through the possibilities of how to handle the situation. He could see the irritation and hurt in your expression, a look that immediately triggered a protective instinct inside him.

The child, in a fit of anger, stepped toward you, fists clenched, eyes burning with rebellious fire. Without warning, they swung their hand toward you, aiming to hit you in an outburst of frustration.

Your heart dropped at the sudden move, but before the impact could land, Aventurine was there, his presence a calming yet assertive force in the room.

“Enough.” he said, his voice low but commanding. His figure seemed to fill the doorway as he approached, his demeanor far more imposing than it had been just moments ago. His hand reached out, gently grasping the child’s wrist mid-swing, halting them in their tracks.

“You do not lay a hand on them,” Aventurine continued, his gaze unwavering, now focused solely on his child. His voice was sharper, colder, but still held that underlying warmth that only you could recognize. “That may be your parent, but that is my spouse, and you will not be disrespecting them like that.”

The child’s eyes widened in shock, their defiance crumbling at the sternness in their father’s voice. Aventurine’s eyes flickered with a mix of concern and disappointment, yet his love for you shone clearly through his words.

“You need to learn respect,” he said, kneeling down to meet the child’s eye level, his hand still holding their wrist. “This kind of behavior is not acceptable, not in this house, and certainly not toward your other parent.”

You stood quietly, your heart swelling with love and relief. Aventurine had always been able to maintain control, but his fierceness in protecting you, in teaching their child to respect boundaries, made you feel seen, cherished.

The child slowly lowered their gaze, their anger subsiding, replaced by a quiet sadness.

“I’m sorry…” they muttered, their voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t mean it.”

Aventurine released their wrist, placing a gentle hand on their shoulder. “I know you didn’t mean it,” he said softly, his tone shifting to one of understanding. “But you need to understand that actions have consequences. Words have weight. We don’t lash out at people we love.”

The room fell into a brief silence, the tension easing as Aventurine’s words sank in. He turned to you, a soft smile creeping onto his lips, the playful gleam in his eyes returning.

“You’re okay?” he asked, concern lacing his voice as he reached out to cup your cheek with one hand.

You nodded, your heart warming from his unwavering support. “I’m fine. Thank you, Aventurine.”

His smile deepened, his eyes softening. “You know I would do anything for you, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

With a soft laugh, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tender embrace. His child, now standing a little further away, seemed to be processing what had just happened. Aventurine’s hand gently rested on your back, a symbol of the unity that kept you all together, no matter how complicated things got.

In that quiet moment, you realized that, despite the challenges of raising a child together, there was no greater feeling than having a partner who would always stand by you—someone who loved you and your family, and who would protect you from anything that tried to tear you apart.

[Jing Yuan ver]

[warrioreowynofrohan]

Random opinions about how aging works for elves, half-elves, and hobbits:

For hobbits, I stand by my belief that hobbits do not age to maturity any slower than humans, they just have a more “millennial” (speaking as a millennial) attitude to adulthood, and then get old slower than humans do. If you have more time in “middle age” and old age than the humans do, then socially ending up with an extended period of youth and irresponsibility, relative to humans, seems like something that makes sense. I don’t think Pippin (age 28 during LOTR) is actually the hobbit equivalent of a teenager; I don’t think they would let him go on the quest if he was.

Also, Merry is born in 2982, making him age 19 when he’s helping Frodo out in the aftermath of Bilbo’s 111th birthday-party and surprise departure; that’s a reasonable human age for him to be doing that, whereas assuming a notable difference for hobbits means Frodo has recruited a preteen to fend off Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, which, while funny, is not what I think the narrative is going for.

Frodo had retired for a while and left his friend Merry Brandybuck to keep an eye on things. When Otho loudly demanded to see Frodo, Merry bowed politely.

“He is indisposed,” he said. “He is resting.”

In terms of elves, I think comparisons to human aging are complicated because elves age to mental or social maturity faster than they do to physical maturity in a way that is not the case for humans. LaCE says:

Not until their fiftieth year did the Eldar attain the stature and shape in which their lives would afterward endure, and for some a hundred years would pass before they were full-grown.

…The Eldar wedded for the most part in their youth and soon after their fiftieth year…at whatever age they married their children were born within a short space of years [as the Eldar reckoned time; in mortal count there was often a lomg interval between the wedding and the first child-birth, and even longer between child and child] after their wedding.

I personally would regard a 50-year-old elf as equivalent to a human in their early 20s, in terms of maturity; with the exception that, unlike a human, it might still be some time after that that they reached the peak of their physical strength.

This is relevant to the fact that Maeglin chooses to leave Nan Elmoth and go to Gondolin when he is approximately 70 years old. He’s not a child or even a teenager; he’s probably roughly equivalent to his mid-20s.

In terms of peredhel (half-elves), I am convinced that they age to maturity at a human rate, with the difference that they stay at their peak of health and strength for far longer after that (and, if they choose to be counted as Elves, retain that appearance basically permanently). This is because of the few dates that we have, in History of Middle-earth, for Dior, Eärendil, and Elwing. Granted, these are Tolkien’s draft notes, and he edited them continuously; but one version has Dior’s twin sons being born when he is 30, while a family tree has them born when he is 22. There’s a timeline where Elrond and Elros are born when Eärendil and Elwing are both in their late 20s to early 30s. We can choose to conclude either that marriage and having children is happening at a terribly early age to people who are basically teenagers, or that that half-elves age like humans and they are doing these things at normal times. I choose to conclude the latter – and given that Dior marries and has children before Thingol’s death, when he is living peacefully in Ossiriand (Elwing is named for a waterfall near his home in Ossiriand) and there is no especial urgency, I think the conclusion that they age to maturity like humans and choose to get married and have children at human-similar times is the one that makes the most sense.

[paperstorm]

Loved all your thoughts on Carlos this episode. Any thoughts on TK?

Sometimes I keep my thoughts on TK to myself a little more because he hits very close to home for me. But I will say that when you've been through the kind of things TK has been through, milestone birthdays can hit really weird because suddenly you're at an age that you always assumed you'd never live to see and it feels like being lost at sea a little bit. It's hard to plan for the future when you don't believe you're going to have one, so I bet TK spent a lot of time in his 20s thinking that conceptualizing himself in his 30s or 40s or 50s was pointless because he might not make it that far, the ideas of what kind of life he would want probably always a little fuzzy and a little too painful to even dwell on. I bet he woke up the morning of his birthday full of some complicated emotions. Gratitude and happiness but also maybe some sorrow for the time wasted or maybe for the things he could've accomplished by 30 if he wasn't too sick to dream of a happy ending for himself. But he also woke up next to his husband.

It's so genuinely beautiful to look back and see how far this character has come, to think that the pilot of this show opened with him trying to end his life over a man who he thought incorrectly was his soulmate, thinking he had nothing left worth living for, not knowing all the wonderful, amazing, beautiful things that were waiting just ahead for him, if he could just hang on long enough to catch them. TK spent a lot of his life thinking he doesn't really matter all that much, and look at him now. He's crafted a life for himself out of grit and bloody knuckles and relentless optimism, he has a career that lets him turn all that pain into saving people so they too can get their second chances, he has so many people who care about him and wanted to celebrate his birthday (and his wedding, and his engagement, and his sobriety), he has two parents fighting over who loves him more, he has a husband who thinks he hangs the moon and all the stars and wants to hold him close and dance with him in the home they've built together. He is completely surrounded by love. And like Wyatt was saying to that woman on the bridge, TK as a character is such a wonderful display of the fact that even the biggest bumps in the road don't have to be the end of our stories. If we're brave enough to keep fighting, they can be the beginnings of journeys we weren't expecting but might lead somewhere much better than where we were heading before.

[skemford]

So far Arcane S2 is looking cool. Almost all characters are complex and it's impossible to look at them through "good vs bad" lenses.

There are certain takes from fandom/community that i don't agree with... but alas, i don't consider my opinions to be 100% correct either.

More thoughts about some characters (Cait, Vi, Isha, Sevika) in Arc 1 under the cut (beware of spoilers):

- Cait loosing herself while going through the grief is written in a realistic way. She's a privileged girl who never experienced major losses, lost an important person (a mother) and she's supposed to keep a facade of a stoic leader for the sake of her community. I felt truly uncomfortable when she decided to use the ventilation system to poison the air of Zaun & her degrading rhetoric (both toward citizens of Zaun and to Vi) was terrible. Her perspective can be understood but it cannot be redeemed with a couple of empty words. I'm curious to see where her dictatorship arc will lead her and how it ends. Honestly a lot of people underplay police brutality that was shown through her.

- Vi taking the role of enforcer was shocking to me considering everything that happened to her in the past. Gassing up her own people while wearing the uniform of her oppressor felt OOC but i can understand that she's motivated by endless grief and her fear of loosing Cait too. At least she did acknowledged that some things are wrong once she's face to face with a child protecting Jinx. Her role was more passive than in S1 so hopefully she'll shine in arc 2 and 3.

- Isha (little girl that follows Jinx) is a plot device that may die sooner or later. I'm not sure what i feel about her but i cannot hate her either, she did nothing wrong. I don't understand those who are mad about the scene where this child is protecting Jinx; Jinx unwillingly saved her life and was a bit soft while Isha saw only brutality from Vi & Cait. This is a matter of perspective, really. Outside of this, i think that some people are forgetting that she's younger than Powder was in S1.

Did she gave Jinx a couple of sympathetic points? Maybe. But Jinx herself was a bit calmer than in S1. A moment before meeting Isha she's walking around the city and reflects on what Silco's death led to.

- Sevika didn't switched her opinion on Jinx "abruptly". She was loyal to Silco and his absence made her acknowledge how much work she was forced to do for him. In her perspective Jinx was a brat who had it easier and created mess that Sevika was supposed to clean... turns out, it wasn't like this. Her "grief talk" with Jinx about Silco shows that Jinx was under the pressure too. Sevika's loyalty lies with her beliefs about what's the best for Zaun and its people and Jinx may be the hope that they'll need (which was shown in Arc 2 teaser). You can argue that she was brutal in S1 but she's not "a villain". Wanting to fight for your freedom from Topsiders is way more complicated.

On less serious note:

- Caitvi hugs and kiss were sweet. Let's hope that it'll happen again. If it's possible after everything :)

- My favourite fight is Sevika vs Smeech. I loved visuals, music and seeing Sevika getting her own screentime.

- Vi vs Jinx fight was on entirely another level in terms of animation, I'm excited to see what's in store for unreleased episodes.

[isagrimorie]

From House of R Podcast with Jac Schaeffer

Schaeffer: What I think it is important is that Billy holds himself responsible. I think, in these sorts of fantasy spaces in the MCU and other genre spaces the death toll, the repercussions of things are different than in the real world. Agatha's body count is staggering. She's also a centuries-old witch. So, you know, it's a tricky part of this work, and the way that I ground myself is: what is the character's opinion and emotions of their actions. I think Wanda is far more villainous than people give her credit for before Doctor Strange 2 not even talking about Doctor Strange 2, looking at WandaVision. I think if Billy had been made to realize on the Road what he was doing, he would have stopped it immediately. I think he also--his rage at Agatha in the basement when he's trying to banish her I think is about that, that she knew and she didn't tell him. But Wanda totally knows full well she's told, she sees what she's doing and she continues. I'm not calling Wanda a Villain at all, I think, she is wildly complicated and fascinating, and I love her. I think she also has an enormous amount of trauma, not that trauma is an excuse for anything. But I also look to Billy and that Billy has had three years of a calm, peaceful, loving home. You know? And I think these things are important. Agatha has never been loved by parental figures, ever. She's never been told she's good or valuable by parental figures. As far as we know, Rio is the only person who's told her that she's valuable, that she means something, that she's special. You know, so anyway, back to your question of the sort of morality. I'm not super concerned about people's--about fan reaction to it. It's like what I see as my accountability as a Storyteller and my team's accountability is making plain the internal life of these people when they make these decisions

(Emphasis mine.)

It is refreshing that as a storyteller, Jac writes a story for the characters.

There is a place for morality play stories, but not all stories should be one.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

i'm so sorry but people being like "Vi asking Cait not to change and then she immediately becomes a dictator" like that's the thing, Cait was never at a point where she'd really interrogated her relationship to the Undercity and her privilege enough for this to be that far out of left field. Her mother died and she said to Jayce she understood hatred of the whole Undercity population, called people animals for attacking during a memorial (unbeknownst to her, orchestrated by people 'on her side').

Vi, meanwhile, has seen no less than 3 parents die, not to mention countless others. She's lost her sister which she blames herself for (despite telling herself she isn't doing that anymore) and she still holds so much love in her heart. I don't quite understand how she reconciles using chemical warfare of the grey to try and smoke Jinx out (haha) other than the fact that she's desperate, still, to try and resolve things with her sister even if it means taking her out (which she still is unable to do). She just wants things to be okay with the least amount of damage, and to right what she feels are her wrongs.

And although Vi does clearly go along with using the Grey, Caitlyn has much greater access to cold detachment to the folks of the Undercity because she never quite got around to seeing them as full people in the first place. A pet project, perhaps, to try and save them when that was a undeniable and easy good. As soon as it becomes complicated, and people there are hurtful and have teeth and are not perfect flawless victims, it's so easy to shuck the desire to "help" the poor folks of the Undercity- in fact, now she finds it quite easy to hate them all instead.

Caitlyn didn't change, not in a notable way, she leaned in further to her birthright, which is one of upper class privilege and doing whatever she pleases.

(ps, I don't hate her. I think she's an incredibly compelling and interesting character. But I do not believe she is a good person and she's been teetering towards that since the second s2e1 dropped. I think she would have to do a lot more work than just falling in love with someone who happens to be from the Undercity to really interrogate her place in this world and commit to understanding the structural changes that are needed in Piltover for that)

[meyerlansky]

the thing is, right, is i would by ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE prefer to talk something out with a mutual, especially if i've exchanged direct messages with them or we've moved onto other platforms to talk. once i've exchanged direct messages with someone, i consider them a friend, even if just within the fandom we share. and i would so much rather someone say to me "hey x thing made me uncomfortable" so i can hear that, respond to it, and change and improve my communication, because i really value the friends i make in fandom spaces!

but that's not what's been happening for the last year. what's been happening for the last year is, i reblog or make a post saying "jewish people in my country are scared and i stand with them," or "don't perpetuate blood libel," or "if you wouldn't call a video of an arab or muslim person being attacked 'entertaining' why would you say that about a video of an israeli or jewish person being attacked?"—and i lose followers. every single time.

for the record: i've never once said i don't support palestinian self determination. i've never once said that i think what the state of israel is doing is right or just or moral. i've never once said the violence palestinians are suffering is okay, and in fact have said multiple times that i don't think anyone deserves to suffer the way people involved in this conflict are suffering. what i HAVE said is i support jewish self determination too, and there's a lot of history people don't know or ignore, and the issue is far more complicated than ANY of the mainstream discourse around it actually delves into. and for the last year, any statement of support for jewish people—not israel the state, not israel's government, just PEOPLE WHO ARE JEWISH WHEREVER THEY ARE—does in fact lose me friends. HAS lost me friends. will probably CONTINUE to lose me friends, because for all that i'm willing to talk about this stuff, it doesn't seem like anyone else is.

i don't really know what else to do at this point. i consider myself, to some degree, part of the jewish community—i work for a jewish history organization, part of my family is jewish, many of my friends that i CONSIDER family are jewish, for years on and off i've been considering converting but if i don't take that step [mostly because i don't believe in a higher power of ANY kind] i still consider myself an ally. and i think it's telling that the only anon hate i've ever gotten on this website is someone calling me a zionist cunt TEN YEARS AGO, because i reblogged posts about jewish issues back then too.

again, i'd really rather talk this shit out. and not just this; other stuff too! ESPECIALLY other stuff, because there's nothing as loaded as this topic right now, and that means fandom shit is a goddamn cakewalk. but i'm also not abandoning my jewish friends and family just because the going's getting tough. so. there's that.

[exclawshou]

...Making sense of it all was like untangling a giant ball of yarn without scissors. As far as he could tell, the legalese inferred that there had never been any potential wrongdoings committed towards his person. No abuse. No coercion. No altercations. A dotted line beckoned for his signature on the final page. With a sweaty hand, he scribbled his name. No one here--his friends, his mentor, his leader--had ever held a gun to Teruki's head and asked him to do anything. Joining Claw had been his choice. The possibility that it could have been anything other than his free will had never even entered his head until now. And in the months to come, the thought would not let go...

Teruki's decision to join Claw wasn't initially a hard decision. It was more complicated. For the first time in his life, Teruki had friends, a mentor, and a new family who actually understood him. More than that, he was infatuated with the idea of becoming a stronger ESPer like he'd been promised. Being a part of a larger-than-life ideology made every single day worth living. He took the teachings imparted to heart, but being worthy of heaven wasn't so easy.

🔹️ Claw if it was a religious cult 🔹️

More context under the cut

In time, the organization crept into each and every aspect of Teruki's life. You couldn't miss lectures. You couldn't dress the way you wanted. You couldn't go anywhere without permission first.

Above all, you were to remain dedicated to a single man, and a single man alone could save you.

Of course, you didn't have to do any of the above. It was only highly encouraged to follow the expectations if the organization really meant that much to you. Not obeying would make The President very sad. And The President only wanted the best for you, after all...

To deny his leaders wishes was to deny himself.

----

Rebellion was brewing in Claw. Most members were ignorant to the politics happening in the upper echelon, or of Toichiro's loosening grip on the fringes of his massive organization. A contract to silence new converts had been devised up, though no such document would ever hold up in the court of law. It was this very contract that eventually led to Teruki's awakening. Coercion wasn't a word he would use to describe what had happened to him, at first... But eventually, he came to understand that he needed to leave. Somehow. Anyhow.

So, one evening in the middle of a winter storm on the outskirts of Seasoning City, Teruki Hanazawa found himself walking out of the local Claw headquarters without submitting his request for travel. He arrived home without a single personal belonging and took a long, hot shower before curling into bed.

Claw members wouldn't actually come after him, would they?

He'd been confident at first that he could simply leave and wash his hands of all the misdeeds he'd been witness to. Yet in the next few months of being free, in both nightmares and reality, they were there. Dark figures snatching at him with their eager claws, desperately trying to bring him back to The President...

Fighting back was the only thing left to do.

He became a ghost walking through life trapped in an incessant spiral of self-blame and rumination. Had it really been free will? Wasn't this all his fault, in the first place? Would he have to live in fear like this forever? Wouldn't it be easier to just...go back?

His parents couldn't know. He had no friends to talk to anymore. No mentor to guide him.

Without anyone left to confide in, paranoia and isolation swept through Teruki's life like a storm. The best he could do was get even stronger. Stronger than Claw. Stronger than The President. Stronger than anyone.

Hanazawa was smart, after all. He'd seen the entrails of their organization and lived to tell the tale. He'd fought off so many mindless followers and seen so much, that it had to all amount to something. It had to.

Eventually he came to believe that the meaning he had sought all along was closer than he'd realized; that maybe the meaning to life and its secrets were buried within himself, and himself alone.