#and like. i've read quite a lot of older fic i think and idk it didn't seem to be this bad before

[wernerherzogs]

the thing is. i can't even fully make fun of bucktommies for their tommy takes given what continues to be done to my man eddie diaz. like at least tommy's a canvas blank enough that even batshit insane headcanons with zero basis in show's canon are like. eyeroll worthy to me at most. because that man does not matter longterm at all. but with eddie it's like some of you can't envision gayness if it doesn't fit a Recognizable Media Stereotype. so he's been repressed his whole life and hasn't lived a single genuine experience ever yet and everything he does is a performance and he doesn't know how to be A Man because he's secretly an elder sister. despite nothing in canon even remotely indicating that as he's been perfectly normal about being a man who's a single parent all this time. he literally only worries about the emotional side of him not meeting the societal/parental standards of Being A Man Who's A Single Father. his ptsd is a not mental or canon enough a canon mental illness you guys are now forcing an entire dsm-5 on him. he secretly longs to be a weho fag who wears cashmere sweaters and has a purse dog or a cat and he's only overcompensating with his truck because god forbid his fashion sense or current hobbies were genuine. meeting kim was a psychotic break instead of a network procedural character dealing with seeing a dead copy of his late wife in a genuinely the most normal way possible under the circumstances. like why are you twisting this guy into shapes he's not because otherwise you just can't buy him being queer/gay like... do you only know bi sluts and formerly repressed broadway gays in real life with no in between? is that it. because buck is another fascinating part of this. his characterization seems fairly consistent no matter where on the top-bottom spectrum people put him. is it because bisexuality has a smaller amount of stereotypes associated with it so you don't feel the need of implying he's been performing everything his entire life like what's going on. and being a Bi Slut has actually canon room to exist here, so it's naturally never been an issue. but he can be a late bloomer bi and yet no one accuses him of only overcompensating with his truck or being a passenger princess despite tommy driving him around and he can be your dom top while still regularly displaying an affinity for things stereotypically viewed as female-coded (as cooking/baking, even for his girlfriend taylor, or cooing after newborn babies like a fic-worthy omega in heat). those specific things either get ignored or dialed up to eleven in fic but he's still ol' good fun buck who aches and wants to be loved and has his abandonment issues and sex issues and so on and so forth but remains fairly recognizable and mostly true to canon every time in the eyes of bajillion different writers. why is he immune while eddie isn't why are you respectful of canon when it comes to buck but eddie's suddenly in a hbo show and not a network procedural when transported into the fic realm can someone explain this.

[whentherewerebicycles]

2024: a year in books

FIRST, some general reflections on reading this year.

my original goodreads goal for the year was 70 (increased to 80 sometime in the late summer) and my total books read for the year was 87! i did count four or five fics early on in the year towards that total, but my rule of thumb is that they have to be 70k+ and they have to "feel like" a novel (a seemingly arbitrary designation but one that makes sense to me lol. not every long fic feels like a novel!). every year i go back and forth on whether i should only count published fiction towards my goodreads goal, but idk, if i am reading hundreds of pages of a single work i feel like it should count.

during the pandemic and just after i skewed heavily towards nonfiction, for whatever reason. in the last couple years, but especially this year, i've really swung back to reading novels and it has been GLORIOUS. god i love STORIES!!!!! i stayed up way past my bedtime reading many times this past year and often felt like i was recapturing that breathless exhilaration i associate with reading in childhood. what a wonderful way to feel!!

I gave in, fully, to reading on my kindle this year. this was initially out of necessity (first i couldn't hold a physical book because of my carpal tunnel syndrome, and then i couldn't hold a physical book while feeding a baby). but i also have to admit that it is easier to replace a phone addiction with another screen, and the kindle at least is a screen free from notifications that allows me to read with total focus for many hours. i also find it easier to quickly acquire ebooks (through [mumble mumble] means) which means i can start reading a book mere minutes after someone recommends it to me. it's also way easier to have a bunch of stuff queued up so that i know that the next thing is waiting for me. i also like that with ebooks i don't know how long they are, so i have sometimes ended up reading books that were much longer than i expected (which sometimes i avoid doing if i'm not sure a super long book will be "worth it" in the end). so idk. lots of things to like about ebooks and i think this was the year i finally saw the light on that front.

HOWEVER i do worry about my turn towards ebooks a little bit because i want my kid to see me reading voraciously, and i worry that seeing your mom staring at a screen all the time is not going to have quite the same effect as seeing her read books all the time. i mean all you have to do is ride the bus or stand in line at the grocery store or sit in a doctor's office if you want to see every single adult around you staring at a screen lol. so that's something i want to think about in 2025. maybe i can deliberately try to mix it up a bit, like trying to ensure that a certain percentage of books read are physical books or something. and i can think about other ways to incorporate lots of conversations about reading into our daily lives as he gets older. i will have to think about that some more!

reading is just so good.... it's so so so so so much better than scrolling on my phone... but even though i was reading at a rapid clip this year and regularly experiencing the AAAAA NOVELS ARE SO GOOD high, i still had weeks and months where i'd get out of the habit and then it would be really, really challenging for me to get back into it. so the solution is to just never stop, lol. but like for real. i think the solution is to just make nightly + weekend reading so integral to my routine that i don't even have to make a decision to pick up a book. i also found that in moments where i was stuck this year, it was really helpful to reread old favorites to get myself restarted. reading something i already knew i was going to love helped me get back into the saddle and gave me some time to start looking for my next new book. so yeah just want to remember that!

i really discovered the pleasures of rereading this year... i used to very rarely reread except for my All-Time Faves because there are so many books out there and i didn't want to waste time on stuff i had already experienced. but that is silly. it is an immense pleasure to reread books, even ones that you just thought were Quite Good the first time around and not All-Time Faves. there is always something new there, and there is a particular kind of pleasure in reading a book already knowing how things are going to unfold. so! i might also reread more next year. we'll see.

next up: my faves from the year.

[bluestarjay]

After being on Tumblr for I think nearly a year, and making a fuck ton of posts and gaining mild popularity on certain posts and gaining a whopping 21 followers, I've never made a Hinata Harem post. So yall are finally lucky enough to hear my takes on it ❤️❤️❤️

So first of all, I kinda love the hinata harem thing bc it's actually so funny, but strangely, in a way, it's realistic. Not very well written most of the time, but realistic as a concept.

Bc like he gets along with basically the entire cast, and he sometimes compliments characters who are not used to being complimented, and that character may blush of embarrassment, and then the fandom takes that as shipping material, like with Goshihina. And it makes sense! Imagine you're rarely complimented, and you strive for validation from your peers, especially upperclassmen, and then suddenly, the cutest boy you've ever seen compliments you like you're the only person on the planet. And so then you purposely try as hard as you possibly can to make said boy continue to compliment you. Take this, then multiply it by 100, because I think that's how the harem trope, in Hinata's case, works.

This isn't meant to be in the way that he can be shipped with every single character because truly, he can't. Shipping Hinata with 3rd years, in a typical high school setting, is, at least imo (and not bc of the age gap itself), weird bc of the maturity difference. You shouldn't date a senior as a freshman bc you're on two separate maturity levels. And regarding all of the many 3rd years (tendou, daichi, suga, bokuto, etc), it's really the same exact thing just platonically. Bokuto is literally Hinata's older brother!! He adopted him as a student *and* sibling, bc he felt the same things everybody does, just in a *different* way.

The hinata harem, to me, is the display of hinata's character in reference to every other character, yk? To me, these select few people are actually in love with him, and these people have a "crush," which is more so a platonic feeling, and these people find a true, deep *friendship* with him, one that they've probably never experienced before, and therefore may look like a crush or love to an outside viewer. And, in these different relationships between hinata and other characters, they all love him. They all feel a loving connection with him, like how people would think in a harem, but it's not quite so because all of the people who love hinata love him in different ways.

Now, with how this harem is portrayed in fanfiction actually scares me bc half the people there are much older and mature than him (gen question why do ppl ship him with 3rd years /in high school/, like, I love Brazil Oihina sooooo much but hs Oihina is 😧😧😧) , and tbh it just gets out of control.

And alot of times I see Hinata reciprocate?? With multiple people?? Which is fine to an extent, imo like I love poly ships, I've seen a lot of really cute ones and some more interesting ones, and it's totally normal to have a crush on a few people at once but istg some people make him a goddamn player,,,

I recently read a harem-ish fic, which was much more similar to how I personally find it to be like, it was essentially people having a crush on hinata, or realizing it, and it was cute, but at the same time, Hinata asked one of them on a date, cuddled with like two other guys (which, normalize cuddling platonically but in the context of the fic it wasn't suuuuper platonic but wasn't suuuuuper romantic either iykwim), and the part of that that kinda icked me was just that he was getting on with so many people at once (the fic took place in the span of like a week, and there were like 5 people i think??). And a lot of other fics that are post time skip are just Hinata hooking up with the entire cast at some point???

Idk tbh but I do really like fics where everybody LOVES hinata, but only a few people are IN love with him. Just the balance of like ~5 people having a crush on him, half of the rest of them have adopted him in one way or another, and the other half have just found their new bff.

Btw I think that second to last paragraph is worded a bit poorly I just don't really know else to describe the fic so sorry if it offends anyone I'm free to edit it n if anyone wants more ship related stuff I got you (ALSO GIVE ME GOOD "HAREM" FIC RECS AS LONG AS THEYRE SFW AND COMPLETED!!) 💪💪💪

[dis0rderly-cl0wn-nerd]

Blur The Lines

Ledger!Joker x Fem!Reader

Chapter 1 - Break-In

Work Summary: Y/n is a struggling artist living in Gotham and stuck in an office job that she absolutely hates. Her dull life gets a spark of excitement when the Joker breaks into her apartment. Over time his stay becomes more voluntary and Y/n develops a connection with the clown. In exchange for a place of safety, Joker agrees to give her some tips that will help boost her art career. But eventually, Y/n realizes she may be getting into more than she signed up for.

Chapter Summary: It's a typical boring day at the office for Y/n. She returns home once again to the frustrations of her failing dreams. As she tries to distract herself and make something of yet another unfinished drawing, a certain someone decides to break into her apartment.

Author's Note: So I'm starting a new fic! I'm really excited for this one. I've been thinking of doing a reader insert fic for several months now. My goal here is to write a more in-character or darker Joker than I usually do and a more developed MC instead of just another Mary Sue. She is heavily inspired by me as I'm kinda writing with myself in mind but anyone can read it and place themselves in the story. Idk if there will be any smut or implied smut in here. I'm still not entirely comfortable with writing that yet. So if there is any here's your warning. I'm done yapping now, enjoy the first chapter!

Taglist: @alittlesmartcookie @furisodespirit @lightsabergirl @gothic-aesthetic-gal

If you would like to be added to the taglist please let me know! <3

Next Chapter >

A cool autumn breeze ruffled your hair as you left the office building with a defeated sigh. You began the monotonous trek back home, holding a thick stack of paperwork and other work related crap. Your boss just threw it on you at the last second. The joke was him, you weren’t actually gonna do it.

Nope. He needed to realize you had a life outside of work. A simple one, but still a life. You only carried the stack out with you for appearances. Honestly you could care less if you were fired. It was only a matter of time before you quit anyway. This was not the life you wanted. 

Every day it was the same thing. Wake up early, go to work in an office all day, waste hours of your time, go back home to a shitty apartment, yearn for a better life, go to bed, and repeat the next day. Much to your relief you were off on the weekends. You treasured those days and used them to destress and help yourself feel alive again. It was hard to believe how draining something as simple as an office job could be. 

You often found yourself reminiscing on the old days when you were a little girl growing up in your small town. You lived in a modest house on a lively farm. Your father raised cows and chickens and grew numerous crops. Your mother was a local school teacher. They were loving parents for the most part. They had their evident flaws but what parents didn’t?

You did well in school and you rarely got into trouble. They were difficult to make, but you had a few friends. You adopted many stray cats and took care of them. Your dad let you keep so many because they were good for keeping mice out of the barn. 

Life was plain and honestly quite boring. As a young girl you had big dreams. You longed to move away and start a new life somewhere else. Home would always be home but it would never satisfy you. 

Your escape from it all was art. You had been drawing since you were old enough to pick up a crayon. As you grew older, art became more than just a hobby. When you picked up a pencil or a paintbrush, you felt free. Putting your deepest thoughts and opinions to page was so liberating, especially when a lot of times you couldn’t outwardly express those things. 

Your high school art teacher said you could go places, and you believed him. An art career was something you always wanted. With his encouragement and a few others, you decided to go for it. So after graduating, you spent a few years figuring things out. As a backup plan you went to a community college for a 2 year degree and successfully obtained it. Then with enough money saved up, you moved to Gotham City when you were 21 in hopes of becoming a full time artist.

Your parents thought you were stupid. Your friends laughed at you. They all told you over and over it wouldn’t work out. Maybe they were right. You found out pretty quickly that Gotham’s art scene was super competitive. It was nearly impossible for a nobody from the middle of nowhere like you to get noticed. But you wouldn’t give up. Not yet.

Obviously you needed money to survive and fund your projects. Supplies weren’t always cheap. Hell, it cost money for you to even enter certain art galleries and contests. You also knew that your art career of course wouldn’t take off right away, so you were forced to look for work. 

That’s when you stumbled across an office job in the Downtown area. It paid just enough for you to afford rent and groceries, along with a little extra to set aside for art related things. You mostly answered calls, filled out paperwork, and scheduled things for your boss. You were a receptionist or secretary of some sort. You hoped that you wouldn’t be doing this for very long and your art would gain some traction by now, but no such luck.

You came to Gotham 2 years ago and still nothing changed. You were still stuck in your cramped apartment and dead end job. It was hopeless, but something in you was driving you to keep trying, to prove everyone back home wrong. 

Rounding the last corner, your apartment building came into view. You sighed as you pushed the double doors open and entered the lobby. You passed the front desk where your landlord was reading the paper and waved to him wearily. “Hey, Jimmy.”

“Hey, Y/n. Long day?”

“Yep.”

You dug your keys out of your pocket and unlocked your mail slot after scanning the rows. Nothing but junk mail. You threw it away in a nearby trash can and started towards the stairs with a tired sigh. It wasn’t too long of a walk, but trudging up four flights of stairs everyday was not something you looked forward to. 

Soon you reached the fourth floor and walked down the hall until you reached apartment 405, your humble abode. You unlocked the door and entered with an exhale of relief, discarding the heavy stack of paperwork on the kitchen table. You wouldn’t think anything of it for the rest of the night and it would sit there until the next morning when you had to go back to work.

Flipping on the lights, you moved into your bedroom and changed out of your work clothes into something more comfortable. You picked out your usual sweatshirt and shorts combo and threw it on. Once dressed, you grabbed your sketchbook off of your dresser and returned to the living room. You set the sketchbook down on the couch before going to the kitchen and heating up some water to make Cup Noodles with. It wasn’t the healthiest meal, but it was cheap and good enough for you. If you ever got rich off of your art, you could start eating healthier then.

Cup Noodles in hand, you grabbed your sketching pencils from your art desk and plopped down on the couch to finish up your current ‘work in progress’. You slurped up the noodles as you examined what was already on the page and tried to figure out what to do with it. Something about it just wasn’t looking right.

You grabbed the remote and switched on the TV for background noise. The evening news was on. As you set to work on the drawing, you heard a little bit of what the reporters were saying. The cops were after someone on the run but you didn’t catch who or where. It didn’t surprise you. This was Gotham after all.

You erased what you originally had on the page with a frown. The proportions just looked so off. Maybe your second attempt would be better. You tried to remind yourself that everything in your sketchbook was just practice. Some of it might get put to canvas or inspire a future project and some of it might not. Still, every time something didn’t come together right away you felt like a failure. You’d start to think that maybe you really weren’t good enough and that was why this art career wasn’t working out.

At this point you screwed up the second attempt and moved on to your third. You were growing increasingly annoyed at both the drawing and yourself. Nothing you did was fixing it. With an exasperated sigh, you started erasing yet again.

You paused when you heard a faint tapping on your window. You looked up at the sound, but seeing nothing there, you paid it no mind and continued to erase furiously at the drawing. It ripped at how forceful you were and you nearly screamed in rage. You took a deep breath and crumpled up the paper. The original drawing just wasn’t working. It was best to start over on a new sheet of paper. Even if this was your fourth attempt.

Some more time passed as you got lost in the drawing process and then you heard the noise again. Louder this time. Something hit the window hard and then the glass started to crack. It dawned on you that someone was trying to break in.

You scoffed. Not on your watch.

You turned the TV off, stood up, and crept cautiously towards the window, baseball bat in hand. With the crime rate as high as it was in Gotham, you kept an arsenal of everyday things to defend yourself with and had a plan in mind just in case a situation like this should happen. 

Intending to simply bash the intruder over the head and scare them away, you pried open the window just as a familiar painted face appeared right in front of you. You screamed and fell backwards. 

There was no way. There was no fucking way. 

The figure crawled through the opening and tumbled right into your apartment. Paralyzed with fear, you watched him sit upright in horror. This was no ordinary thug. This was the Joker. The Joker was in your apartment. 

“Sorry, uh, for the scare, darlin'. I’m kinda in a bit of a pinch here.” He said as he stood up and approached you.

You noticed he had a small limp and his clothes were soaked with blood. His hair was sweaty and wild. Very faintly you could hear his erratic breathing. 

“Wh-What do you want?” You asked, backing away from him. 

He seemed to find your reaction amusing. “Just need a place to stay for a bit until I can get the pigs off my back. I’m not gonna hurt ya.”

You were stunned speechless. You could only muster a soft, “You’re injured.”

Joker shrugged. “Yeah. Happens every time. I couldn’t get very far with this leg.”

“So was this apartment building the closest thing to you or…?” You inquired, surprised at your own voice.

“Yep. Nice place ya got here.”

“I-I…I’m not sure how I feel about this.”

“I wasn’t asking you.”

You didn’t like his tone. You took a deep breath and lowered the bat, propping it against the wall. 

“So you just want a place to hide? That’s it?”

“Yep. It’s too risky for me to travel across the city right now. I can’t get to my hideout until the heat dies down.”

“How long are we talking?”

“I don’t really know. At most two weeks.”

“Two weeks?! You can’t just-!” You exclaimed.

Joker threw his hands up. “I said at most.”

“No. You can kindly get the hell out. I won’t call the cops if you just go.”

Joker smirked and advanced towards you slowly, lifting his coat to reveal a hidden pistol. “Orrrr…you can kindly shut up and let me stay here because I’m the man with a gun.”

You froze at the sight of the gun and contemplated what to do, your mind running a mile a minute. Your shoulders slumped as you realized the position you were in. It was best to just go along with what he said.

You sighed, “I don’t really have a choice here, do I?”

When you looked back up, Joker wasn’t there. He lost interest in talking to you and wandered into the kitchen. You stared at the clown in disbelief. The fact that he was being so nonchalant and inviting himself into a stranger’s home baffled you. Man, the nerve of this guy.

You scampered after him and against your better judgement grabbed his arm to confront him. He whipped around to face you, his dark eyes boring into yours.

You gulped. “Shouldn’t we, uh, treat your wounds first?”

Joker lightened his expression. “Mhm. That would be helpful.”

You led him into your bathroom and gestured for him to sit on the toilet. He sat down without a word and stared up at you. You nervously grabbed a first aid kit from your cabinet.

“I don’t have much but I’ll make do with what I can. Where are you hurt?”

Joker rolled up his pants leg and pointed to a deep gash across his calf. It was swollen red and oozing blood. You had to turn your head for a second. When your stomach stopped lurching, you knelt down in front of him while still maintaining a safe distance.

“Anywhere else?”

Joker grinned and pointed towards his left arm. “Just a little graze on my shoulder. They missed me. We should probably focus on the bigger one right now.”

You nodded. “Okay, uh… I guess I should clean it first?”

Joker made no reply and just kept staring at you. You frowned. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing, man. How do you usually do this?”

“You clean it first. That’s kinda obvious, darlin’.” Joker muttered. 

“Oh I’m sorry. I don’t get into police shootouts on a regular basis.” You spat. 

Joker snickered. “Feisty, aren’t ya?” 

You rolled your eyes and got to work. You took an alcohol wipe and disinfected the wound, trying to be gentle because you knew it would probably sting. To your surprise Joker didn’t even flinch. Sensing he wasn’t going to mind, you continued on at a quicker pace and wiped away the blood, patting it dry with a nearby towel. 

Next you grabbed some gauze from the kit and wrapped it around his calf to bandage the gash. You could practically feel Joker staring down at you as you worked. This was crazy. You were treating the Joker’s wounds and letting him stay in your apartment. He did force you, but still, he was an extremely dangerous man to have in your home. Was he going to kill you? Heh, you hated to say it but maybe that was a good thing. He’d put you out of your misery. 

You shook off that thought. No, y/n, that isn’t a good thing. Once you’re dead it’s over. If you stay alive, at least you still have a chance. You didn’t come this far to give up. He’s not going to kill you. You’re going to make sure of it.

Joker’s gruff voice startled you out of your daze. “What’s your name?”

“Y/n.”

“Well y/n, you might not like these circumstances but it’s really helping me out. So, uh, thanks I guess.”

“I’m literally only doing this because you threatened me.” You huffed.

Joker chuckled. “Fair enough.”

“Stay still. I can’t bandage it right if you keep moving.”

You didn’t catch the fiery glimmer of anger flash across Joker’s eyes at being bossed around. Regardless he listened to you and kept his legs still as you cut off the remaining gauze and tied the bandage in place.

“There. Now let’s take care of your shoulder. Can you uh…?” You gestured to his suit.

Joker yanked off his purple coat with a sly smirk. “Tsk. You just met me, y/n. Want my clothes off already?”

You turned beet red. “No! Ugh, that’s not what I meant. Just take off your shirt enough that I can bandage up your shoulder.”

Joker wheezed. “Alright, alright. I’m kidding.”

You didn’t find him one bit funny. Some clown he was. 

Joker finally got his shirt pulled down so you could treat the graze on his shoulder. You repeated the same process as you did for his calf and bandaged it accordingly. Joker fixed his shirt back and left his coat off, draping it over his shoulder.

You put the medical kit back where it belonged and started out the door towards the living room again. Joker stood up from the toilet and followed you, still limping a bit. He sat down on the couch and you sat down at your art desk across the room, unsure of what else to do but sit down. 

Your heart skipped a beat when you realized you left your sketchbook on the couch and it was still open. You hated when someone looked through your sketchbook without asking. It was so embarrassing. Flashbacks to high school replayed in your head. You silently prayed Joker wouldn’t notice, but it was too late. He picked it up and flipped through the pages curiously. Did he not have any understanding of privacy?!

“What’s this?” He asked, examining a page.

“It’s my sketchbook. I’m an artist. Well, sort of…” You answered quietly.

Joker said nothing and continued flipping through the pages.

“Can you not? Please?” You tried not to sound desperate.

Joker stopped and looked up at you as if he sensed your distress. “Why? It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

You walked across the room and shut the book, taking it out of his hands. “I just don’t like people looking through my sketchbook. I don’t know. It’s just personal.”

“Alright then. I, uh, assume art is just a hobby. What do you do for work?”

“I have an office job. I don’t really know what my title is. Receptionist? Secretary? Assistant? Something like that.”

“Oh. Sounds boring.”

“It is. I hate it. I’d rather be more of a professional artist but nobody takes me seriously.”

“Why?”

“Beats me. I guess those rich pricks would rather see a few slathers of paint on a canvas instead of actual art. But hey, I won’t judge the abstract. Some of it is actually meaningful.”

Joker laughed. “Yeah. One time I tried to rob a featured gallery in an art museum and ended up leaving with nothing because everything was just so tasteless. It was said to be worth thousands of dollars but I didn’t waste my time on it. Most of today’s modern ‘art’ is just crap.”

“I mean, it’s not all bad. It’s just so hard to get noticed. The reason that kind of art is so valued is because it’s made by influential rich people who get bored one day and decide to make a painting.”

“Well put.”

You blinked for a second and processed the story he just told you. He described robbing a museum as if it was the most normal thing in the world, like grocery shopping. It brought you back to reality and reminded you who you were in the room with. You held back a shiver.

“Uh, why exactly were you running from the cops?” You asked.

“Well, I just broke out of Arkham last week so I guess they were on high alert. My dumb ass decided to stage another heist because I needed some funds instead of waiting a little longer. Somebody tipped them off that we were going to be there and they showed up right as we tried to leave. Then the chase ensued and that’s when I ended up here.”

You shook your head. This was actually happening. A psycho killer clown was sitting in your living room and telling you about his failed bank heist. Why did it have to be you and not the annoying neighbor who lived right beside you? “I still don’t understand something. Out of the rows of windows, why did you pick mine?”

“It looked like there were no lights on. I thought no one was home.”

“Okay, but why the 4th floor?”

“I dunno. I needed to get up high to see what was going on around me and then I decided the best thing to do right then was to hide in one of the apartments so I just picked a random one.”

You rubbed your temples and took a deep breath. You really had the worst luck ever.

“As much as I’d love to sit and chat, I’ve had a really long day and I need to catch some sleep. So I’ll be in my room.” You announced and started towards your bedroom door.

“Fine by me. You do what you gotta do.”

“I really can’t offer you anywhere to sleep besides the couch.”

“That’s alright. I can sleep pretty much anywhere.”

“Oh. Well, I’m going to bed now. So goodnight, um, what should I call you?”

“J is fine.”

“Goodnight, J.”

“Night, Y/n.”

You entered your room and shut the door, leaning against it once inside. You let out a long shaky breath. This night was just so unbelievable. The Joker was in your living room! And you were still alive! And he saw your sketchbook! You cringed, wanting to simply pass away at that thought. In the scheme of things you guessed it didn’t matter that much but it was still embarrassing.

You went to the bathroom inside your room where you treated Joker’s injuries earlier and brushed your teeth. You put up your hair and turned the light off before walking over to your bed and collapsing onto it. 

You were exhausted but for the first hour you found it so difficult to fall asleep. You were completely paranoid. And who wouldn’t be? All you could think about was the madman on the other side of your door who could kill you with his bare hands. 

Would he do it while you slept? And how would he do it? You shuddered at the possibilities. 

All the worrying and speculation only tired you out further. You stayed awake as long as could until your body finally crashed. You dozed off, all thoughts of Joker fleeting as you entered the comforting embrace of sleep. You could deal with him in the morning. Hopefully.

[feastingonfanfiction]

Waiting on the red string of fate

Tanya Denali x fem!reader

SUMMARY: a red string of fate for a vampire is a lot of waiting for the continuation of that string, one stops waiting to enjoy life and then the other end comes along looking for her, how will it go to learn the one you waited for stops waiting...

A/N: First attempt at ever writing a fic, so sorry if it's not great. I'm not good with timelines and it's been at least a good decade since I've read twilight, so if aspects of the story are inaccurate sorry, I only really wrote this cause the idea got stuck in my head and wouldn't stop until I wrote this out. Most of it's just how one would go about life with a red string of fate

Angst?-ish Idk

Don't really know how to end this story. Perhaps I'll make a part 2. Perhaps I won't idk

[update:I've got ideas on how to end this story now, prepare for multiple routes some angsty depending]

Masterlist

part 2

Part 3

Chapter 1: Waiting on the red string of fate

When Tanya was little, she'd stare at the unattached string blowing in the wind that sat on her finger.

A muted dull shade of red.

What did this mean? Did she just not have a soulmate in the world? were they gone before she had the chance to meet them?

Or perhaps they had yet to be born? That'd be quite an age difference between soulmates she'd think back then.

Now she was older, string still unattached, none of her questions were ever answered.

Unknowing to what it could mean with an unattached string all she could do was stare and wonder.

And then she was turned.

Her string was still the same after becoming a newborn, the yearning for a soulmate amplified but still her string was still cut off.

Traveling with Sasha and eventually obtaining her sister's Kate and Irina, all was fine as they went about their immortal lives.

Her sisters like her and Sasha all had strings detached from any potential mate and they truly understood eachother in this aspect, it brought them just a little closer to know they were the same in this way,

And then the immortal child incident happened. As much as Tanya wanted to just break down she knew she had to step up as the leader of the coven now as the first bitten, her sisters needed her.

But the pain from the loss of Sasha grew within the coven, the world seemed cruel from at first the lack of a mate to now the loss of their mother.

Eventually, Tanya had chosen to do something to deal with it all, seeking out pleasure with others after hearing some info.

Over time and over centuries having heard from other vampires that they met on their travels, those that eventually found their mate, the chances of this happening could take centuries for some and others said that fate had brought their mate to them. With the grief and desire for connection in that moment and not wanting to wait, Tanya and her sisters decided why not seek out some fun whilst waiting who knows how long. So they went about seeking out humans who rather didn't seem to care about the concepts of waiting for a fated soulmate, those people who chose looking for connection right there, right then, rather than who knows how long. Their encounters with their prey lead to the succubus legend forming, not that they cared.

Some centuries later the sisters had desired something more with the mortals rather than immediately feeding off them after their one night stands, a little more of the connection they seek from the yearning and desire for their mate that they had yet to believe were here, judging from their still unattached strings.

Seeking some type of solution to their issue of the need to feed Tanya went off to sate her desire on the blood of the forest animals nearby, finding it working well enough to continue their dynamic with the humans. So then their little group slowly transitioned over to animal blood.

Over time, they met many others on their travels, eventually a mated couple tied together, curious of their diet decided on joining their little family.

Eventually time passed and within the 1700s Kate was the first to realize her string lead off somewhere, her chosen had finally come about.

The first in their little family (besides carmen and eleazar) the sisters happy for her, their small group decided to go off trying to find where Kate's match could be, only to find the string leading off into the ocean. Figuring they were on another continent they chose to depart their old homeland they'd been on for centuries and set sail off to a new place, who knows what they would find whilst boarding a boat for America.

On their travels avoiding the conflict happening and looking for Kate's mate, which yielded no results no matter where they looked the 1700s eventually transitioned over to the 1800s and Kate could only feel her hope dwindling, their little family did their best to comfort her but knowing mortal lifespans and with that war that happened who knows what could have happened to kate's mate's fate. The sisters did their best to comfort her in her downcast mood. Eventually she stopped in her looking, not everyone met their fated and she had so hoped she would meet them before their mortal lifespan ran out, hoping that giving up the search the fates will bring whoever they are to her, the century passed and it wasn't like her mates thread showed any sign of potentially ending which gave Kate enough hope. For then Kate continued her life, one day she'll find her mate she thought to herself.

Through the land they traveled they eventually craved a more permanent residence, some place to eventually call home. After such searches being resultless, slowly ending up on their way to the west coast around the 1900s they come across another group of vampires, surprised at the fact their groups shared a vegetarian diet they decided on traveling together for a while. Tanya's eye catching the brooding loner of the group, one much like her and her sisters with no mate attached yet, her interest in him peaked when he showed disinterest, a challenge in her mind, though her attempts to form some sort of connection with him went nowhere and lead to inevitable rejection which frustrated her.

Eventually parting ways Tanya's group decide to head where the Cullen's had come from, Denali, Alaska.

Here Tanya decided it would be an okay place to settle down and call it their home for a good while, and so that's where they stayed and where the Denali coven was born.

Pov change: Her fated

Sometime in the 2000s

As a little girl you had always wondered who could be your soulmate, your parents said they were already in the world somewhere when you were born with the string around your little finger.

You couldn't help but wonder how old were they? A couple months? A year older? Were they waiting for you too? as you were waiting for them, you played with the vibrant red string. Imagining what kind of person they could be when you grew up.

You couldn't help but push aside the desire of teenage crushes as you grew, a hopeless romantic at heart after reading too many stories of how people meet their fated and the magical feeling of finally meeting your destined. Was it too hopeful? Probably, but who cares? Not you at the time.

At the age of 20, that summer you chose to take a gap year at your university to travel, hopeful in seeking your destined. Filled with hope that maybe they too were looking for you, how naive you were then you think when looking back.

Your string had lead you far from home, leading you outside of a club in a randoom city in Alaska. Heading inside and following the string with your eyes you couldn't help but feel out of place, heart pounding rapidly whether from the adrenaline of finally meeting "the one" or the anxiety of the atmosphere of the nightclub and the amount of people here which was not your scene.

As your eyes trailed after the string, you eventually see it lead to a hand, what you hoped vs what you saw broke your heart.

For there your red string lead to a hand that cupped another person's face as your soulmate kissed someone else. In your eyes from what you could see of her, she was beautiful. It felt like a dream to see her for the first time, but that which quickly soured to what she was doing.

She hadn't seen you but you saw her and couldn't help but stagger back.

You didn't know how to feel in that moment, you came in hopeful and now you were faced with heartbreak.

You had known not everyone in the world was like you and how some people chose not to wait, testing out relationships with other people rather than hoping the fates just dropped your destined in your lap, but from the relationships around you in your life, of your friends finding their matches to the fictional stories that you read, you couldn't help but hope for the same. But here reality decided to tie you to someone you guess didn't want to wait, and that just broke your heart a little more.

Perhaps she was the kind that didn't care for wanting a soulmate, perhaps she was in a relationship with whoever she was kissing.

Broken spirited, you turned to leave not wanting to be seen, going unnoticed by the one you had went to seek out. Perhaps you shouldn't have gone looking for her your thoughts suggested. Rushing out leaving the nightclub door swinging shut in your rush. Tears blurred your eyes as you felt like you forgot how to breathe.

Perhaps soulmates aren't worth looking for you thought as you wanted to get as far away from the cause of the pain in your heart as you could. Perhaps you shouldn't have gotten your hopes up, perhaps you shouldn't have hoped at all.

You rushed off thinking you still had all of the year to just travel and try to mend what's left of your broken heart.

Tanya's POV

It's been over a millenia at this point since her turn and over time she had subconsciously avoided ever looking at her string anymore, it's always been the same, unattached to anything. What's the point of checking? Some internal part of her couldn't help but still feel the yearning though for "the one", but her life was going good right now, they'd settled in Denali, they kept in touch with the Cullen's, occasionally Kate would venture off in search of her mate with no luck, but her string had shown no sign that her mate had fallen to the fate of a tragic mortal end so clearly something was up and she was hopeful.

It was one night at a club when things changed though, Tanya was working her way on getting with this person she just met, kissing them, but then she felt something. She tried to ignore it, but eventually she couldn't as the feeling reared its ugly head as she pushed the person away. Confusion wracked her mind as she tried to understand why she felt like so. Deciding to call it a night despite not being able to sleep she left the confused person with an apology on her lips.

The night passed and then more days and nights after followed but the same sensation would not leave her, why did she feel like her world was ending? Why did she feel something was horribly wrong.

In her pondering state in the living room,

Irina enters having returned from feeding and notices her sister's face, brows furrowed as she pouts. Clearly getting the sign that Tanya was off, she then notices her sister's string, it was no longer unattached, but she had noticed this before and just assumed Tanya knew already and chose to ignore it.

Perhaps her sister was considering going off to find her mate? Always an option and it has been a sufficient amount of time since its first appearance adoning her sisters finger, so she bring it up to her.

Tanya is broken from her concentration over her confused emotions to the sound of Irina voicing a question. Looking up at her she asks "what?" Before asking her to repeat what she said, and Irina asks again, "do you think you'll go look for your mate?"...silence, "my mate?" Confusion evident in her voice as she looks down at her hand, where there once was an unattached dull thread she had grown used looking at and then ignoring, now holds a vibrant red string connected to her finger. Trailing off to who knows where, realizing her mate was finally, finally in her life, all she could mutter was "oh....." before a wave of surprise hits her and she blurts out, "I have a mate,"

"Yeah? It's been a couple of years now? Perhaps a decade maybe two?" Irina said confused "did you not realize your string was suddenly leading off somewhere?"

Tanya couldn't help but feel embarrassed,

Her mate's been around for years and she hadn't realized. She realized her mate is out there and she can finally go meet the fated one she's always wondered about. Who they might be and how perfect they might be together.

The coven leader decides then and there that yes she would go find her mate.

Unknown to her the broken heart of her fated sat on the other end of the string.

(Maybe part 2)

[ohbo-ohno]

asking for any pricegaz thoughts if u have any 🙏

okay hold on give me a sec. i have thoughts to throw at the wall and hope they stick and make some amount of sense (scroll to the bottom for the fic ideas i have for them but will probably never write 👍)

((tw if you don't know my blog: discussion of toxic and abusive relationships below. i write dark fic))

so the power dynamic between price and gaz has the potential to be sssoooo hot to me, but it doesn't quite Click in the way i was expecting tbh? it took me a while to think of why but i think it's because gaz like... has too much of a spine

like okay: no matter how ooc it might be, in my head soap is disgustingly easy for ghost. would do anything he says, no matter how much he doesn't want to. but gaz feels like he's more likely to say no, to stand his ground and put up a fight

which totally makes the potential toxic dynamic between he and price way more interesting. price would have to use manipulation and more subtle methods to get gaz firmly in the palm of his hand, where ghost just has to shove soap hard enough in the direction he wants, yk?

and like. i love that. older man in power seeing this younger man and molding him slowly but surely into the exact shape he wants, doing it slowly and carefully enough to make sure he doesn't even realize what's happening (because the younger man would hate it). that bit where gaz questions what they're doing and price basically says "be okay with it or get out of my sight" despite gaz clearly being uncomfortable? ohhhhh there's something delicious there

here's the problem: if you've read anything i've ever written ever, you know it's mostly porn. i'm not very good at writing plot, and it's something i'm trying to work on in the depths of my google docs, but i know what my strengths are - sex scenes. in my ghoap fics, that's easy. ghost noncons soap, usually forcefully. but with the dynamic price and gaz need? a fic for them (in my mind) needs way more focus on plot and the way price is manipulating gaz

that being said, if i had the patience? and the confidence in my writing? these are the fics i'd write for pricegaz:

cult leader price x undercover cop gaz. price knows gaz is a cop as soon as he comes to their little town, but gaz thinks he's still undercover. i think i'd have price slowly coax gaz into his viewpoint, drawing him closer and closer to him (with the added bonus that he doesn't even have to be the one to cut gaz off from the outside world). i think eventually gaz would come to a Sharp Realization, and price would be forced to.... extremes to keep him. i think it would be very hannibal/will, with gaz trying to deny that he's fallen to price's level but eventually being forced to confront the fact that he doesn't really want to turn price in anymore

maybe something similar to ruyfylb - maybe truck driver price and his favorite lot lizard, gaz? a consensual exchange but gaz would definitely not be prostituting himself if he didn't have to, and he's not great at pretending to enjoy his time with price (which is what price really enjoys)

fisherman price x selkie gaz. idk the intricacies of this one, and you could totally make it nikgazprice, but i'd like to see jailer price who is resolute in his unwillingness to let gaz go while still trying to keep him happy. he's stern and strict but he does try to make gaz comfortable, yk? i think that dynamic would be interesting, but very slow since gaz isn't the fieriest of characters. i do not excel at slow lol

historical au - gaz has a distant relative who's just died and he inherits a title with no warning. when he travels to the country estate that's his new home, he meets the head servant john price. you could have price teaching gaz how to be duke (or whatever the title is) and keep that power dynamic, while also getting to lowkey have rich boy x mean older man smut. so like. win-win. ((just think of price bending gaz over and spanking him or railing him while having him recite his paperwork out loud to make sure he's reading....))

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

how do you feel about minors reading your fics or fics which might contain more explicit topics (be it substance abuse, heavy topics like eating disorders etc, and of course sexual topics). there has been conversation in other fandoms I am in on these and a lot of "adults" (I say adults bcs some of them are 23-25 which from my perspective is like oh you sweet summer child) are saying minors should not interact with their content, should not comment/bookmark/reblog, should not send them asks (anon or not) on their stuff with some of them saying they are ready to block individual suspects (aka minors who interact) in order to prevent them. and idk my perspective is that I wouldn't want to alienate anyone from the fandom, but would much rather focus on curating a good fandom experience and making sure young people dont take away too much from these fanfics because it is all fiction after all.

the reason i ask is because you are (i think) 7 years older than me but have been an integral part of my experience in the jily/marauders fandom since i was like quite young?

I think it's not up to me to check on what age my readers are or gatekeep my writing from anyone, and the same goes for any other writer. I write what I want to write, I stick the appropriate age label on AO3 and once it's out there in the world it's the reader/reader's parents' responsibility to seek out suitable material. When it comes to my writing specifically, if there are underage kids reading my fics, I'm not worried about that because my content is comparatively quite wholesome and the message I always try to instill is that an aspirational romantic relationship is one where kindness and respect, and not toxic, controlling behaviours, are key. I don't think there's any detriment to reading content like that, in fact I wish it was a more popular aspect of romance fiction in general (which is part of a wider conversation about what kind of behaviour is romanticised in fiction, but ultimately any writer is free to write whatever the hell they want). On a wider scale, when it comes to fandom in general, it's up to parents and guardians to talk to their kids about what they're read and what messages they're taking away from any media they consume. I'm a parent and I would never ever consider it a creator's responsibility to monitor what my child is doing, because it isn't their responsibility, it's mine, and I'm not here to be anyone else's mommy. If I get an ask from a 15 year old who tells me they love my fics, I'm happy that I've written something that brings them happiness, and I'm not going to alienate them, scold them, or talk down to them simply for being young.

[soaps-mohawk]

Hello hello!

Just wanted to drop in!! Don't ask me why rn I'm a bit clueless myself (I've been working all week idk whats real anymore) But I'm also in a slight rambling mood.... that's if you wanna read-

Firstly I hope your recovering from work and stress is going okay :( eat and drink plenty, and if possibly good rest!!

I've been reading CRCB again, I've been reading a few chapters each night before I sleep (Like how I used to stay up until like midnight for me for every new chapter release hehe) oh my god I forgot how good it was... you're writing never fails to impress me!! I just adore everything about it... when I finish rereading it I may have to go back to the Kyletober fics, those were just *chefs kiss* to die for. Tumblr has converted me into a big Kyle lover.

And since i FINALLY bought the games, I've played MW now, in the middle of playing MW2 and oh my god, great games (fuck graves I liked him for a bit... not anymore) BUT THEY ARE HARD? the older games were easier istg. But getting to finally play the storylines that I've read so much about feels awesome. I'm now a big AleRudy fan heh.

Also... I wanted to ask first before yapping I have a fic idea and wanted to yap abt it lol- would that be okay?! It's omegaverse and honestly I was thinking abt it... then realised wait what if some parts are too simular to yours-- I don't wanna do that at all cause I'd feel horrible but yeah I'm rlly just yappin now HELP-

Have a wonderful day/night whenever you read this, many hugs to help you feel better :3

Hi love!! I feel that idk what's real anymore so hard. This whole month has felt that way for me honestly.

Thankfully work has slowed down to a manageable pace once more so things are a lot less stressful. I get real weekends again too so that's been nice these last couple weeks.

Aww thank you!! I'm glad you've been enjoying my writing! That's super sweet of you to say.

The games are so hard. I almost rage quit MW and MW2 so many times (I refuse to play MW3 I will not acknowledge the events as canon sue me). I had to watch so many tutorials on Youtube while playing lmao. The older games 100% were easier. I totally agree.

Of course! Yap away! Just always make sure credit is given where credit is due 😊

[barb-l]

Do you have any wenclair fic recommendations?

Yes, I do, and it's called My Bookmarks on ao3 lol

Lemme show em here anyway tho, in no particular order, for people who aren't in the mood to be taken to a "second location". I'm not listing all of them here tho. To know more, just click the link.

So aside from literally everything made by @//eggplant-crusader there's also these:

This was really fun. I know nothing about Eurovision, but I really like the moral about dreams and priorities and having the maturity to pick your battles.

This one got me feeling all kinds of yearning. I'm not really a big fan of angst when it comes to literary media(because it feels a lot more... consuming that way, yanno) but this one also had a lot of hope and tenderness in it that i couldn't help but keep reading. Binged it in like two days? Worth the sleep i lost.

Aside from what I said above, it's also super funny and cute btw. And i love the fic's format, the way every chapter starts with stuff like soc med posts or emails or scribbles written on walls that add to the setting of the story rather than the plot. Reminds me of how I Kissed Shara Wheeler would do that(reading that book rn btw. Would rec that too if you want a fun wlw book)

Has a really cozy feel to it. It reminds me of the older fics i used to read when i was younger for some reason idk

This author has other works that are really good too(notably a fake dating one that i enjoyed) but this one is my favorite of their works. The whiplash i felt when the jokes hit while im still crying was oddly fun

It's an unfinished fic but it doesn't really follow a continuous plot, so it's fine. It's just a bunch of snippets of Enid casually showing off her strength and is quite a joy to read. Also funny. When it comes to me, it's a requirement for something to be funny ehehe

One of my top fics for any fandom i think. It's a short one but a really well executed premise. The thought of Wednesday wooing Enid with anonymously sent two sentence pieces is so cute to me.

I really like the characterization in this. Probably one of the most show-accurate Wednesday's I've read, mostly because they don't forget that Wednesday would still be a little shit to Enid even if she's in love with her without overdoing. It's a shame lots of writers forget that lil bit about her.

[btr-rewatch]

hii, you mentioned you were around during the fandom's heyday, i was wondering if you had any favorite fics from back in the day you'd like to share? <3

Hello! Yes, BTR was actually my official "introduction" to online fandom when I was younger :) I spent so much time here on tumblr and fanfiction.net, which was a lot of fun because the fandom was at its biggest and most active.

Good timing with this ask, because I was actually thinking about making a post with some of the fics that were popular (or that I personally enjoyed) back when the show was on. I still have them bookmarked on my old laptop! I'll select a handful and put them under a read more.

Quick disclaimer that I cannot attest for the quality of any of these fics now. I haven't revisited most of these since I originally read them, though the main details have cemented themselves in my brain on account of my past self having read them over and over and over. Still, I don't know if my older, adult self would find them any good in regards to writing quality or the actual content.

• Ok. So, I have to start out by mentioning Laura (known as Miss Fenway), who I wrote briefly about in my BTF Fandom Lore post. When I tell you that she was the "Queen" of the fandom for the years the show ran, I'm not kidding. Everybody knew her. She churned out fanfics like it was her job. She was responsible for a lot of the headcanons that ended up being adopted by the rest of the fandom. And she wrote "Little Hollow," the 55-chapter, 160,000-word fic that had a profound effect on the fandom. Basic premise is: Logan gets cancer, and from there, everything spirals into tragedy and heartbreak. She then wrote a fic based off an alternate ending to "Little Hollow" called "Three" that absolutely destroyed my younger self when I first read it. Like. It was just too much for me.

Back in the day, Logan was the character who was tormented the most by fic writers, and nobody tormented him quite like Miss Fenway. In some of her other fics, he loses an arm in a shark attack, becomes a drug addict, gets kidnapped, is in a car accident that leaves him brain-damaged, is in a hockey accident that leaves him with amnesia, and so on.

Personally, I was partial to "All These Lives" & its sequel "September." To THIS DAY, I cannot hear either of those Chris Daughtry songs without thinking of those fics.

• If you're into AUs, "Mania" was hands-down one of my favorite BTR fics (maybe even one of my favorite fics period). It's like...an edgier version of the boys? They're a gang of sorts, formed out of necessity in order to keep their neighborhood safe from a rival gang. They carry weapons, get into fist-fights daily, and will go to the ends of the Earth to keep Katie safe. Listen. It sounds off the rails, but read it. Trust me. Even now, years later, this fic occasionally pops into my head out of nowhere because I loved it so much.

• Fics that focused on the guys as little kids were very hit or miss (and sometimes could be weird), but I've got to include two of my favorites, "The Petting Zoo" and "Trouble." They both capture the personalities of the boys so well, and I have to imagine this is a lot what they were like as kids. Chaos all the time. Idk, I thought both of these were so funny. Worth a read, in my opinion.

• Alrighty, last fic on this list is a doozy. It's called "Another Reason." This was my absolute favorite BTR fic, and it was one that I read and literally needed several days to digest because it was such an emotional ride. This is a DARK ONE, guys. It's gritty and depressing and hard to read, to the point I only ever read it once because I was never quite ready to return to it. Kendall is kidnapped and tortured for days by someone associated with Hawk (I think??) so it def treads into AU territory because it's nowhere near the lighthearted, goofy feel of the showverse rivalry between Hawk and Rocque Records. Feeling like the police aren't doing all they can to find Kendall, the remaining three boys steal Mrs. Knight's car and take off in search of Kendall.

Like I said, I haven't reread it because it was a tough read, but I remember it being well-written and rambling at length about it to a family member.

And that's where I'll leave it for now! If anyone checks any of these out, I'd love to hear thoughts (my ask box is always open). I also welcome your own fic suggestions, since I really haven't ventured back into the BTR fanfic world yet. Also, thanks to everyone who read the fic I posted the other day!

[fitzrove]

Shamelessly stolen from seeing it on someone else's blog... Create a fanfic tropes tier list

Here's mine:

Some thoughts under the cut xD

All of these come with the caveat that it has to be well-written, basically. The older I get the less patience I have for stuff that's low-effort or just not to my taste hshhd. However, I see the tiers as something where I can pretty easily be convinced to read fic with tier S tropes, whereas getting me to enjoy a tier D fic would be difficult... Anyway, comments on individual tropes:

pwp - The best kind is where it's unapologetic kinky sex but a somewhat plausible scenario that's deeply in-character (or at least tries to be) >:))

a/b/o - This is a very very mixed bag for me... Contrary to what many people say, I don't actually enjoy plotty longfics (or the idea of reading longfics) talking about the societal aspects/worldbuilding implications of it. Also, the more focus there is on um... animal traits.... the less into it I am HFDHFHHJ. BUT I've sometimes liked the work of mandarin language todolf oneshot fanfic writers on ao3... I have no idea what the fuck is going on half of the time because google translate is imperfect, but those sure are some Fics with Stuff Happening in them xDD my favourite ones are rudolf x stephanie ones though because they're pretty much the only rudolf x stephanie femdom fics out there.........

soulmate au - I know this is super controversial for how it portrays relationships, but I actually find it okay :D When I read them I always interpret it as taking place in a much more deterministic world than our own... and I actually think that pure angst fics about the premise are rather interesting too. But I do think it has to be done quite well to work!

Royalty au - I'm such a whore about historical research so this has the potential to really irritate me xDD And for my current main fandom activities it's redundant... But idk, it's fine I think.

Fluff - This is one I've changed my mind on quite a bit over the years, namely in terms of actually kind of disliking pure fluff nowadays. I really prefer hurt/comfort and other fics where there are some stakes at play, or fics where the "fluff" is actually straight up emotional abuse HSDHDSHDHFSH (it's ok you can say todolf<33). It's just a lot more exciting to have setup + payoff vs pure fluff. I don't really experience the urge to read fluff fic as a response to the original media being emotionally charged/sad, I want fix-it fics to start from the standpoint of that negative emotion and have ups and downs before getting to the happy ending!

Crossover - hate crossovers where characters from multiple unrelated media interact, do sometimes enjoy crossovers where characters from y are in the universe of x (or experience a phenomenon from x). I mean, I've written a tdv au ahshshsh so I can't complain too much xD

Pregnancy fic, baby fic - no. This is a very hard if not impossible sell for me. I've written a longfic where the main characters have kids during it, but I never focused on the pregnancy and baby parts per se. I just don't like it haha

High school au, fairytale au, college au, coffee shop au, amnesia fic - I do NOT understand the appeal of any of these lmao

Humor, crack fic - Has to be done really well to work and most of the time it just doesn't for me ajdjjsjd. Humor is so personal and individual, and a conscious attempt to be funny as the main point of a fic falls flat so easily...... I like witty writing, but crack fic per se doesn't work for me unless it's crack treaten extremely seriously (implausible tropes and scenarios can be fun!! Buuut I do have pretty high standards for suspension of disbelief hshsdjdj. So it needs a lot of work put into it basically)

[consistentlyamess]

We'll see about that - Chapter 1⎮Open with me, oh, we could be honest

[4.4K-ish]

pairing(s): steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: You just wanted a fresh start but you might get more than you bargained for when the sleepy town of Hawkins lives up to its reputation.

warnings: takes place after season 4, 18+ , MDNI, slight age gap (reader is like 2 yrs older than Steve), canon typical violence, mentions of a lonely childhood, mentions of difficult relationship with parents, underage drinking, swearing, eventual smut, abusive relationship, brief stancy storyline, strangers to friend to lovers, pining, slowburn

A/N: I HAVE VERY LITTLE IDEA ABOUT WHAT I'M DOING AND I'M TERRIFIED. but I did get about 10 more likes than I expected, and I've been thinking about this story for so long, that so far it's kind of flowing out of me. so here's chapter 1!!! I probably won't be able to keep this pace up, just a heads up. *hides under a rock immediately after posting* just please bear with me while I figure out what I'm doing here, I guess. idk if it's a warning or not but english is not my first language and it's not beta-d. so. it is what it is . 'tough girl' is a very conscius nod to mizz @loveshotzz who had me on. the. floor. with AIRWIY

💜💜💜 TY for reading!!!! 💜💜💜

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You woke up with a pounding headache. Sometimes they still came. Mostly like this, in the morning, out of nowhere and it takes about two or three aspirins for them to go away.

This is the first hiccup. The last time you had a headache like this, it was about finals time back in Bloomington. You just wanted to get out, you wanted it to be over, barely slept, barely ate, so the headaches were no surprise really. Then after graduation, when you were leaving one cursed town for another, you thought you left the headaches behind as well. Which very obviously was not the case. But they passed pretty easily compared to the previous ones.

The week passed in a blur mostly. You hung out at Family Video quite a lot and when you weren’t there it was mostly just getting used to the town. The first couple of days you find a diner where you can have coffee in the morning. The second morning you run into Steve. 

‘Hey, stranger, how are you doing?’ He says with a boyish smile. 

‘Just getting my morning coffee, trying to show this lovely town that I’m just like them, you know, coffee, pancakes, the works.’ 

‘Good thinking, you would be truly terrifying otherwise.’

‘You think?’

‘Oh, absolutely! 5”6 woman with a killer smile and - and I quote - decent cooking skills? Dangerous.’ He’s flirting with you but you pretend to be oblivious.

‘Well, wait ‘till you see my reward sticker collection. The lack of teachers shows, stacked up some pretty great stars and flowers and whatnot. Those kids won’t know what hit ‘em.’

Fine, maybe not that oblivious.

‘Wow, bringing out the big guns early, huh? How does one earn those stickers? Would some A-grade guacamole do the job at a dinner party?’ 

‘We’ll just have to wait and see, I guess.’ 

‘Guess so.’ You reach the coffee shop and he’s opening the door for you with a sly smile. Oh, boy. 

As you get to the counter, you see that a tiny brunette is already balancing some coffees and pastries there. 

‘... and I’ll also take like four of the cheese sandwiches.’  ‘Coming right up! Hey, give those pastries back, I’ll get you a bigger bag.’ 

‘Thanks, Al.’ 

You don’t miss the way Steve stiffens a little beside you.

‘Having a party Wheeler?’ He says. 

‘Oh, god, you scared me.’ The tiny woman said, clutching at her chest. Her big eyes and tiny pointy nose made her look very cute.

‘You know exactly that’s for those assholes in the office.’ She says with a frown. 

‘I know, you looked very cute though.’ She smiles shyly at that, looking down at her feet. Oh, boy, indeed. 

‘Hi, we haven’t met before-’ you reach out trying to cut the tension.

‘Oh, I’m sorry, I was so occupied with those goddamn sandwiches.’ She shakes her head and takes your hand immediately. ‘I’m Nancy, Nancy Wheeler. You must be the new girl. Robin told me all about you. Went on a tirade actually. You’re starting in Hawkins Elementary, right?’ 

‘News travel a little unsettlingly fast here.’ You let out a nervous laugh. ‘But yes, that would be me.’ 

She glances up at Steve, who suddenly finds something very interesting on the menu above the counter. He runs a hand up his neck and squints at the menu. Subtle, Steven, really. Seamless. 

‘So, she told you about the dinner on Saturday as well?’ 

‘A little more actually, she invited me.’ She frowned again and it made you laugh again.

‘Good! That’s exactly what I was about to do.’

‘Great! She told me she was gonna bring a pie but I’m betting my left arm she’s gonna burn it, so we’ll bring a back-up.’ 

‘We?’ 

‘Jesus, what a fun bunch we are. My boyfriend, Jonathan, is coming too. But only if it’s okay with you! He's staying for a while, finally. A little socialization we’ll do good for him.’ 

OH. BOY. So many alarm bells go off in your brain you can’t even count them. 

‘Next!’ Al shouts out. 

‘Sorry, one sec.’ You excuse yourself and you count your lucky stars that it immediately snapped you out of it. You’re not sure you could’ve contained your face.

‘Hi, Al! Can I get a black coffee to go please?’ 

‘If you ask this nicely, you can have anything, sweetheart. Comin’ right up! Anything else for you? The muffins are fresh.’ 

‘Oh, I wouldn’t miss that! Please, throw one in!’ You smile sweetly and he smiles back. On another day, in another café you might have suggested something very different this guy could do with his fresh muffin but you needed this town to like you. If anything happens or if you run out of gas in the middle of the road, you need to have friends. People looking out for each other. Looking out for you. That’s what these small towns are all about, right? 

‘Jesus, keep it in your pants Al.’ Steve mutters to himself and both you and Nancy raise an eyebrow.

‘Okay, I totally forgot, I have an appointment with the…’ Shit. You’re blanking. ‘... the, uh, the school counselor!’ You say a little more loudly, you’re so proud of yourself. ‘So, I’m off.’ You slap a two dollar bill on the counter and start moving toward your exit.

‘Who? Miss Kelly? Isn’t she on vacation, still?’ Nancy asks. ‘I haven’t seen her in like a week.’ 

‘Well, I have an appointment with someone, maybe it’s not the school counselor. I didn’t, uhm, write it down. But I’ll see you guys on Saturday, right?’ You wave your goodbye and your lungs feel less tight right away as you get out of the diner, leaving a little dumbfounded Nancy and Steve behind you. Whatever you walked in the middle of, you want no part of it. No matter how boyish his smile or homely brown his eyes are.

***

Staying away proves to be way more difficult than you thought though. Robin is way too nice to say no to, and more importantly, you really like her. It also doesn't take long until you meet the other members of the party. You met Jonathan one time at the library you visited. He was with Nancy, looking for something they didn’t elaborate on. A very endearing stoner Argyle, a gloomy kid, who visited his not-a-girlfriend friend in the hospital every week, Lucas, his quippy and lovebly snappy sister Erica, a kid with the smartest mouth on him you’ve ever seen, Dustin, Will, who’s very soft spoken is really fast to become one of  you favorites, not just because he’s really into art, Nancy’s broody brother Mike and of course the shy and sweet El. Or Jane. You’re not sure and nobody else seems to be either. But, hey, who were you to complain about weird nicknames? But all of that came with a lot of Steve on the side and keeping the flirting to the minimum was a real challenge. Especially ‘cause you liked it. He knew what he was doing and he was good at it. But it was impossible to miss how he softened when he saw Nancy, how something akin to hope flickered in his eyes.

It was also impossible to miss that they were hiding something. At one time Mike referred to the mall fire with air quotes and Robin immediately kicked him in the shin. Whenever Will touched his neck, everyone became tense. El kept looking around and spacing out sometimes, until Mike brought her back with a gentle tug on her hand. You’re not stupid, you pick up on these things. But you don’t ask too many questions. They’ll tell you if they want to. Or not. That’s also fine with you. Everyone has secrets and it’s not a surprise that a town like this may harbor more than one. 

The second hiccup does come at the dinner though. You were nervous all day. And of course cooking and cleaning all day. You made lasagne and your favourite salad with grenadine seeds and walnuts, and some chocolate chip cookies, just to be safe. You bought wine and soda, a bunch of scented candles, you cautiously put up fairy lights, the first thing that made the place look more cozy, more yours. Your chest tightened at the thought a little. This is okay, this is your place. This is what people do when they have a place. You were just renting, of course, but the owners made it pretty clear that they’re not planning on coming back anytime soon, so they gave you the all clear on any makeover your heart desired. You didn’t know what your heart desired. Not yet anyway. You were so focused on just getting a place, any place, you would’ve taken a room in an attic without lighting. You’re a little startled by the doorbell as you get lost in your thoughts while tossing the salad. 

‘Shit’ you mutter to yourself. You haven’t changed, your hair is a mess, you’re a little sweaty from all the work you’ve done and of course the table is not set yet. Great going, Peach. One hell of a first impression. Well, it wasn’t a first impression, not really, but still. The doorbell goes off again. 

‘Coming!’ As you tear the door open it presents a bickering Robin and Steve. 

‘... I took my eyes off of it for one second, Steve-’ 

‘Yeah, well the recipe clearly stated that you have to watch it very closely! Constantly!’

‘Oh, my go- Peach!’ Robin rasps as she notices you standing there. She basically throws herself in your arms. ‘I burned the pie.’ She says in a sad voice that reminds you so much of a kid who was caught with her hand in the cookie jar. ‘I failed you, I’m so sorry!’  ‘Oh, honey, it’s okay! I made some chocolate chip cookies, Nancy is bringing some pie as well, we’re all good sweets, don’t you worry!’ You tell her, hugging her tightly and laying a kiss on the top of her head for good measure. ‘And next time just call me, my pies are the talk of every Thanksgiving. I can give you some tips and tricks.’ 

‘You’re an angel.’ Robin sighs. Above her shoulder you lock eyes with Steve for a minute. He watches the two of you with the most doughy eyes and smile you’ve seen on him so far. He waves a little and huffs out a quiet ‘hi’. You take one of your hands from the girls back and wave back to him. He keeps watching and you can’t take it. You pull Robin away, grabbing her shoulders. 

‘Alright, early birds get the worm’ you clap your hands ‘which means, you guys get to help me with the finishing touches, while I go take a shower and change, because I may smell like an onion but I have so much flour and butter on me that if you put me in the oven for 20 minutes on 350º I might come back as a pie as well.’ 

You make them laugh with that and the little laugh that comes out of Steve makes you want to run away into the woods and scream, it's so sweet. For the love of GOD, girl, get it the fuck together. This time Robin’s prodding finger in your ribs is what snaps you out of your state. 

‘You're the boss! We’re at your service, m’lady!’ she bows theatrically.  ‘Band kid?’ 

‘Trumpet’ Steve says with a shit eating grin. Robin seems a little uncomfortable at that. 

‘Figures. Band kids are always the best.’ You wink at Robin. ‘Stamina and nimble fingers. Exactly what you need in the kitchen.’ Wow, you’re staggeringly bad at this not flirting thing. 

‘Well, damn. If you were recruiting I’d never even look at a swimming pool or a basketball.’ Steve counters with the beginnings of that same shit eating grin. 

‘Jock?’ You ask, turning to Robin.

‘But a reformed one at that. Did some penance for his sins.’

‘By driving 12 year olds around town?’  ‘And by bringing wine and some beer to your dinner party, smartass.’ As he says it, he starts moving around you, already having rid himself of his coat and shoes. He leans close and almost whispers the last word in your ear. It makes the muscles in your neck flex. ‘So, where do you need us?’ Robin’s eyes ping-pong between the two of you so you turn around.  ‘Right. Plates are in the cabinet above the sink, cutlery in that drawer, glasses are already on the counter and you have some napkins on the table already. I’ll turn myself into a human again and be right back! Don’t break anything, please, I barely have enough stuff as it is.’ 

Your turn to make your way to the bathroom but you still catch the sound of Robin’s swat that probably lands on Steve’s arm. They hiss something at each other, but you try not to eavesdrop more. Not my circus, not my monkeys, not my circus, not my monkeys, not my circus, not my monkeys. 

By the time you make your way back, Nancy, Jonathan and Argyle are all there. The letter with suspiciously narrow eyes and mellow smile. You make a mental note to ask him about that sometime. As you make your way to the table, still drying your hair with a towel, Nancy gasps. 

‘Oh, my god, I love your dress!’ 

‘Thank you!’ You answer as you reflexively look down at yourself, before hugging her. ‘It was my mom’s in the sixties. Real flower child shit, I love it.’ The dress is almost floor length, it has a warm, orange-ish shade thanks to the thousands of tiny flowers, but it also has a dark, almost black undertone. It hugs your hips and has small buttons running up all the way on the front, top three still hanging loose, revealing some of the lace underneath. 

‘Hell yeah, brochacha, I dig your style.’  You giggle at Argyle’s antiques as you hug the two boys shortly as a greeting. 

‘Hey, do you have a corkscrew somewhere in here?’ Steve calls from the kitchen without turning around. ‘Uhm, that’s a good question actually. Let me check!’ You make your way to the kitchen, and plop the towel on the counter temporarily.  ‘I- oh’ Steve says the moment he turns around and sees you. You’re suddenly very aware of those top three buttons. You should’ve buttoned them. ‘Wow, you, uh, you look really nice.’ He says, running a hand up and down his neck once. So, it is a nervous tick.  You hope to any higher power if they're there, that you don’t blush.  ‘Thanks.’ The smile you can’t hide. You know it’s there, he knows it’s there. Well, fuck. ‘So, have you checked the bottom drawer? I think that’s usually the bastard drawer.’ ‘Bastard drawer?’ He asks with furrowed brows but still not taking his eyes off of the tiny flowers.  ‘My mom used to call it that. It’s the drawer you just kind of throw shit in, shit you don’t know where else to put. It's kind of rude, now that I think about it.’ You grimace to yourself as you zero in on it.

He watches you as you move toward said drawer. He likes the way the dress sways with each step you take. It’s a slow, almost magical movement of fabric in his eyes. A mix between a witch and some sort of fairy. He likes that you’re still barefoot, you look at home, even though you’ve only been here for a little more than a week. He likes the way you tuck your wet hair behind your ear as you crouch down. He likes your wet hair too, if he’s being honest with himself. 

‘Uh-huh! The bastard drawer never disappoints.’  ‘Way to go flower child!’ Argyle chimes from somewhere in the living room. Steve shakes his head at that. But you can tell, he’s hiding a smile.  ‘Thanks dude!’ You shout back as Steve moves towards you. You think he’s going to help you up, but then Robin storms in.  ‘Hey, Peach- oh, come on, I’ll help you up.’ Something flashes in Steve’s eyes as he leans back on the counter.  ‘Do you need help with anything else?’  ‘You can help me bring in the drinks if you’re up for it. The lasagne need another 10 minutes but we can have some drinks until then.’  ‘Really? Me too?��  You snort. ‘I’m not your mom, babes, of course you can.’ 

The evening goes well after that. You get to chatting, you talk about uni, very briefly but you mention that you had a failed relationship as well, you gush about your favourite teacher and ask them about the children of Hawkins. They tell you about the town, about how they met, how they became closer when tragedy after tragedy struck. Robin mentions clumsily that Nancy and Steve used to be a thing, which in turn makes the whole table uncomfortable. Except for Argyle, who, god bless his heart, chimes in with a ‘This lasagne is schmashing dude’. Which eases the conversation again.  ‘It is really good, Peach.’ Steve emphasizes, tongue darting out to lick the corner of his lips. ‘When did you learn all of this?’ 

‘Well, growing up it was just my mom and me. We didn’t have a perfect relationship but she loved cooking. That was really the only thing we did together. Then she had to work more, so I had to do it on my own more and then when I was uni, it was comforting to do things we used to do together.’ You shrug a little almost as a sign that you don’t know what else to say. You do that a lot, Steve notes to himself. As well as the fact that your cheeks and chest get a little pink after two glasses of wine. Just some notes. You don’t know if it’s the wine or the fact that you haven't felt this calm, since what feels like a lifetime, but this sudden openness catches you off guard. But Robin jumps to the rescue again. 

‘Oh, my god, that is so sweet!’ She squeals and she grabs your hand. ‘By the way, I never asked you about how that kind of date went?’ 

Now she is the one with the deer caught in the headlight eyes. 

‘Duuuuude, you had a date? That’s awesome! How did it go?’ Argyle joins your inquiry.  ‘Oh, it was… well, we- uhm’ she gets caught off by the ring of the phone which she seems very grateful for. You? Less so.  ‘Who is- sorry, I’ll go get it.’ As you get closer to the phone, on the other side of the wall, your stomach starts to knot. No one is supposed to know this number. Maybe the school. Please, god, let it be the school. As you reach for the phone, you know it’s not the school. You’re so sure it makes you nauseous. Panic crawls up your throat, your hands are shaking but you know you can’t not answer. Normal people are not afraid to answer phone calls. 

‘Hello?’ You call but nobody answers. You swallow with a big gulp. ‘Hello?’ You try again, this time squeezing your eyes shut and balling your hand into a fist. And that’s when you hear it. Breathing on the other side. You panic and slap the phone back on the wall. 

‘Is everything okay?’ Steve asks and you hear the slide of a chair on the floor, and you start moving further into the kitchen.  ‘I- Y-eah’ you call with a crack in your voice. You take a deep breath, trying to stady yourself. ‘Just ah, a wrong number. I’ll go heat up the pie!’ You try to think about the cold metal of the Colt on your night stand. It’s okay, you’re safe here, you can protect yourself, you made sure. 

You’re already leaning against the stove when he finally catches up to you. 

‘Do you need help?’  ‘No, no, I got it’ you call back over your shoulder, without turning around. You crouch down in front of the oven and open it. The heat comes rushing out but it’s still not enough to warn you. You grab onto the sheet with reckless abandon and promptly burn yourself. 

‘Ouw- Fuck-’ ‘Shit, are you okay?!’ Steve comes rushing towards you as you hear the muffled sound of the others fussing in the living room.  ‘Shit, come on, come here.’ Now he helps you up, one hand holding your wrist, the other settling on the small of your back as he guides you to the sink. ‘We have to put some cold water on it, so it doesn’t blister.’ 

You can only nod. The panic of the phone call is still at the back of your throat but now the burn of your palm feels a lot more urgent, so you will your body and your mind to work together and prioritize here. As the cold water hits the burn, you hiss and Steve apologizes. 

‘No, please, it’s what you’re supposed to do.’  ‘So much for the pie tips and tricks, tough girl.’ He smiles at you a little mockingly.  ‘I never said anything about kitchen accidents. You got nothing on me Mugsy.’ ‘Alright-’ Before he can really get going, Robin clears her throat loudly in the kitchen door, standing with crossed arms.  ‘You guys okay in here?’  ‘Yeah!’ You say, pulling your hand away from Steve as gently as you can. ‘Yeah, just burned my hand. Nothing life threatening. But I will need someone else to put the pie in the oven for me after all.’  ‘I got-’ ‘I can do it.’  ‘Really, Robin? So, I’ll have to take care of two burns?’ Steve says, turning around with his hands on his hips.  ‘Oh, calm your tits mom, I can put a pie in the oven on my own you-’ ‘Both of you can shut up, I’ll put it in.’ Nancy says as she pops in and comes directly towards you and looks at your hand with a concerned look. ‘Are you okay?’  ‘Guys, it’s just a sheet that was a little too hot. I’ll live.’  Nancy nods but you know that she can see that you’re still shaking. She moves to the oven and Steve takes the opening to make his way back towards you.  ‘Do you have some ice? You should put some ice on it for the night.’  ‘Hey, Steven!’ Robin calls out a little too loudly and a little too sharply. And you make a mental note to send her a gift basket because now that the panic and the pain are subsiding, you really don’t want to feel his breath on your cheeks and his fingers moving your wrist so carefully, like you’re made of glass. ‘Would you be a darling and help me open a bottle of wine.’  ‘You’re a big girl, you can open a bottle of wine on your own.’ He quips back.  ‘Oh, now I can do things on my own?’  ‘It’s a bottle of wine not a piping hot oven, Buckley, there is a difference.’  They continue arguing but you can’t make it out anymore under the sound of running water and Nancy and your laughter.  ‘They are literal children.’  ‘It’s cute, really. I always wanted siblings.’ You confide in her. How can you not? Her blue eyes have this shade to them. A shade that sees right through you. A shade that tells you there’s no use in lying. Or hiding for that matter.  ‘Are you sure, you’re okay?’ She asks, quiet, sincere.  ‘Yeah, I’ll be fine. Had much worse.’ You smile at her and she doesn’t push. You’re thankful. 

You almost can’t believe it but the rest of the dinner goes by without any more accidents. You guys come close when Robin wants to cut into the pie but Steve takes the knife out of her hand.  Everyone wanted to help clean up but you swatted them away, insisting that you were the host and it was fine. You pack a box of leftovers for Argyle and he’s out the door. Nancy and Jonathan are the next, thanking you and even Jonathan shooting you a smile that tells you, he really did enjoy himself. By the time you close the door behind Steve and Robin, you almost forgot about the phone call. Almost.  Not even a minute passes when there’s a knock at your door again. You huff out a laugh. ‘I told you, dude, that’s all the cookies I have, there’s- oh, Steve.’ You’re stopped in your tracks. ‘I- did you leave something here?’  ‘Yeah, I,uh, can you check if my wallet is on the counter, for me?’ ‘Sure, come in, I’ll be just a sec.’ You check but there’s no wallet. ‘Sorry, I couldn’t find it! Are you sure it’s not in the car, or-’ When you arrive back he’s leaning over the small dresser next to the door.

‘Oh, shoot! You know what?’ He says, feigning a realization. ‘It was in my back pocket. So forgetful sometimes. Night, tough girl!’ You’re a little confused but that doesn’t keep you from quipping back.  ‘That nickname’s gonna stick, isn’t it?’ ‘Depends. Maybe I’ll think of something better.’ He says with a wink and turns on his heels.

After locking the door you glance down to the dresser. There’s a note on the block of Post-its you have there. 

I’m very used to spending nights on my own in an empty house. If something spooky happens again or you need some ‘tips and tricks’ just give me a call. 

There’s nobody there to see but you still feel like you have to hide your smile by trying to bite into your lower lip as you study his number.

Fucking hell. You really should’ve finished those goddamn buttons. 

[wolfstarwarehouse]

hi! So I've followed you for, quite a long time and I've always loved your blog and find it to be an invaluable source amongst the marauders/hp/wolfstar community. I've loved wolfstar for forever (although surprisingly nowadays I tend to lean more towards prongsfoot) but i just wondered like, how do you feel about how wolfstar has changed since you've entered the ship? I used to be really into wolfstar but I feel like, since the large expansion of the marauders fandom and the kind of entering of a second generation of marauders fans, I feel I no longer really fit? Idk, there's a lot of characterization I find has differed from what I've known before and well, it just makes me more inclined to like the older stuff. But I wanted to know what you thought, maybe it was just me getting older. What are your thoughts/opinions on a lot of the newer characterizations/headcanons/ships of this new marauders generation? Like it, dislike it? Also if you have any recommendations of newer wolfstar for older fans, I'd be delighted to hear them.

Hi! Thank you so much for following all these years! I will say first off that I haven't read anything since my last fic recs in February of this year, so I'm definitely not up to date on all of the current trends.

I think it does have a bit to do with getting older, though, or just being in the fandom long enough to see the changes. And having been in the fandom/reading fics for 10+ years, I can tell you that I have seen wolfstar change many times over. I think we all probably have a preference for the kinds of fics that we read when we first got into the fandom, but in my case, the newer headcanons and ships never really bothered me.

If I see something like jegulus, for example, getting really popular, my thoughts are more along the lines of "huh, interesting, not my thing, but if the right author did it the right way I'd probably like it." I don't think there's anything I outright dislike.

No matter what happens to be popular at the time, I try to strike a balance between reading fics that are new and different and those that speak to my own personal taste. You might have to dig a little deeper, but I promise there are still people out there writing wolfstar the way you like it.

tl;dr If you'd ask me about any of the newer characterizations, headcanons, or ships, my response would probably be a polite, neutral curiosity lol. As for fic recs (pulling from my last recs in Feb.), these would get closest to that old school vibe (at least for me):

Don't Make Me Beg For You (Because I'll Beg For You) by CuriousMay

Connect by AllAboutTheDrama

Not Waving But Drowning by possessingtheproperspirit

[themushroomgoesyeet]

It's time ladies and gentlemen

Arcana characters as Disney's Hercules

I promise not all of these are gonna be Disney themed lol I'm just a Muriel simp (if you couldn't tell) and when I originally came up with the Disney princess idea Muriel as Hercules started rotting a hole through my brain so here we are! Also, we're gonna get some side character/familiar action here as well, yay!

Asra, Nadia, Julian, & Portia - the muses

Are there other characters that these four could fit? Probably

Am I going to fit them there? No

Someone needs to be the muses, and I choose these 4

From left to right (since none of the muses are named) Portia, Julian, Nadia, & the last two get subsumed into Asra

Idk I think they'd have fun jamming out & watching Muriel do his thing

Lucio - Hades

Oh god I can hear the Lucio simps screeching at me in the comments already

But consider: am I wrong tho

Let's face it bro is the villain in every route but his own and the cynical, "better than thou" personality that they both share just fits so well

Plus this version of Hades is a Satan analog who makes binding deals with others for his own benefit, and doesn't that sound like a certain devil we all know?

Not to mention both of them are trying to escape the realms they've been assigned & make themselves god king of everything

Two words: ✨anger issues✨

Morga - Phil

And now we get to the fun characters outside the M6

I will admit, Phil is a lot nicer than Morga, but jaded older mentor figure trying to make up for failed prodigies fits

Plus, Morga was Muriel's mentor in his route

I feel like both also fit into the role of proud parent figure by the end of their respective stories

And both are disapproving of their pupil's romances lol

Inanna - Pegasus

Admittedly Inanna is a bit more no-nonsense than Pegasus is, but she can still be goofy and fun when she wants to

Incredibly supportive of their human companions, important assets in battle, their appearance started the main character on a path for a better and more fulfilling life

Not much else to say here it just works

Vlastomil and Volta - Pain & Panic

Honestly idk if I can fit Vulgora and Valdemar into the Hercules narrative, but at least I could get these two in here

Vlastomil is Pain and Volta is Panic; I realize both could probably fit into Panic's role as they are the more timid and mild mannered courtiers, but I've chosen things this way because Volta is a little bit more flighty and afraid to commit crimes like Panic, where as Vlastomil is a bit more bold (when he's allowed to be) and better fits Pain

There's also the whole shape shifting deal they can all do

Khamgalai - Zeus

This one.....is a bit weird ngl, I'm still not quite sure about it

Honestly this is the ONLY time I will conflate someone so near & dear to my heart with Zeus

Mostly this all fits into the "detached/secret family member" archetype

And....I mean Zeus in this narrative at least is actually very kind & caring, as well as a proud dad which is similar enough to Khamgalai to work ok

Plus they both act as a guide for the main character when they're trying to find/drifting away from the plot a little bit

Merf (my MC) - Meg

Ok

I know what you're thinking

And I'm going to state once again that I am a huge Muriel simp

My MC is also a self insert, and for as long as I can remember I've always identified the most with Meg, more than any of the other Disney women

Anyone who has read my fic, seen the stuff I've posted about my character either on this blog or others, or even just talked to me on the arcana discord started by @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia can probably see that our personalities are very similar

Meg is very special to me as a character and I'm literally writing a post about mashing together my beloved and one of my favorite Disney movies, I'm not apologizing for conflating her with myself

[reverseblackholeofwords]

Hello, I hope you’re doing ok. I hope you don’t mind if I ask you a question or two.

You see, I’m currently working on a smaller fic to prepare myself for the extremely ambitious fic that I plan to write afterwards. I call it ‘Everything All At Once’ it’s very ambitious. Like, it has multiple fandoms, one of them is incredibly niche, it’s something that not even I would read, but I really want to write it. Everything All Once is rather silly, Natasha Romanoff was brought back to life and now she is dating Peggy Carter from what if.. and having dinner with Percy Jackson, Luna Lovegood from hp is going to end up with Midoriya Izuku from mha, there will be Stardew Valley reference, Alice ‘Daisy’ Tonner has a heart to heart with John Price from the MW reboot, Sally giving a man named Reyes from the Charley David Series by Dorinda Jones an earful for being abusive to his wife, and there is a spot off of the cost of Florida were the main characters will find a good amount of my gay ships just relaxing during the end of the world that was cause by my four ocs who are the literal makers of everything, no expectations. Everything all once is their coming for age story where the realize that they are still human, or something sappy like that.

I want to be taken seriously, but my sister pointed out that this is absolutely ridiculous and I shouldn’t take myself seriously. Can you please just give any tips for this, it’s kind of overwhelming and way too ambitious for my current skill. Please

Hi there! I say you should take it as seriously or un-seriously as you want to. Writing isn't so much about being serious or not as it is about exploring a craft and expressing yourself with it. And if you feel like this idea is too ambitious for you, write it anyway and see what happens. You might find you're capable of a lot more than you think.

I've been writing stories for years, and every time I start a new project I'm fairly certain it's beyond my current skill level. But that's the point! I enjoy pushing myself to see what I can create when I'm going beyond my comfort zone or trying something new. So I just sit down and open a fresh document and try not to look back too much. You don't grow as a writer unless you're willing to get a little uncomfortable with it.

But all that said, you can't ever fully control whether or not other people take you seriously. Most of the stories I post online are actually quite silly when you think about where they come from, but (and this might be because I've gotten older and I tend to care about the opinions of strangers on the internet a lot less than I used to) I write those stories as seriously as I want. Doesn't matter the source material, doesn't matter if people think it's cringe, as long as I'm having a good time with it, I put blood sweat and tears into those stories just cause it's nice. I like the catharsis. And absolutely no one is going to care about my story more than I do, so I'm going to care about it as much as I want!

Idk if that's necessarily helpful, but I do hope you try to write your story! I promise it'll be worth it in the long run.

[ccmatta]

please, enlighten me of some more Linda headcanons 👁️👁️ (if you’d like to)

Ok, wow, so... I'm still building her, I don't know if I have that many (edit: I do, lol). I don't even have her last name yet lol. I just started liking her a lot after she ended up having a big role in my m2 longfic. But her real name is Lile (like Lily, but... different lmao). She's still a work in progress and I guess I'll have something more solid after writing more about her. that said, ok, the things I have for now (edit: and I'll put under the cut because it's getting too long lmao):

She's around 1 year older than Matt and Mello.

She's extremelly grounded, practical and knows what she wants. I can quote a scene where Matt asked her why she wore pigtails ("childish hair style" he said) being 16, she was like "I like it" -- and she's like that with pretty much everything. At the same time, she gets excited with silly things, is pretty lively and doesn't care too much about what others think. In my longfic, Matt describes her as something like "she can turn from a grown up to a child in a blink".

Which brings us to the fact that she meddles too much into people's lives. She has that mentality that people are a good source to create things and this makes her want to really get to know people, as if they're the art itself. It's her reason to get closer to Near (as much as she can because that boy is difficult lol), and even Matt (and I think Mello scares her lmao so she doesn't even try). People fascinate her. But that made her be seen as annoying growing up at Wammy's. And that leads us to something i'm not 100% set yet (but maybe 90% xD): all this makes her decide to study neuroaesthetics when she's at/after university.

She had a small crush on Matt for a while. And when she finally got closer to him (after Mello's left), it grew way stronger than she was confortable with.

A little quote that serves as an exemple of how I write her:

Linda: You look awful. Matt: I know. Linda: Want to talk? Matt: Not really. Linda: Okay, I’ll just sit at your desk and draw, then.

And this one from another thing i've just finished, when asked what she'll do after Wammy's:

“Well, following in L’s footsteps? Probably not. Near’s already gearing up for that. And even without–“, she nearly let something slip about Mello again, so she stifled the words before they escaped. “…without Near doing it, I’m just third in line, no chance. I’ll live my life. Go to college. Grow as an artist. There are some research fields I’m pretty interested in.“

Now, backstory that I'm still trying to figure out, so don't take it as a 100% done:

Before Wammy's House, she basically took care of her sick parent (maybe mental illness, maybe physical, who knows). And maybe that's why she's quite centered. She only had one living parent (either mother or father, idk yet), so when they died, the path was like random orphanage -> oh look she's so smart -> watari comes -> she arrives at wammy's. Or something like that. I don't remember how old she was when she appeared in my fic for the first time, maybe 12~13, and I don't think she got there too young either, so maybe around 10~11.

I thiiiiiiiiiink she's from Ireland? asfdhuasofhasoihd

I'm inclined to make her parent having some kind of mental illness because I write Matt pretty depressed after Mello's gone, and she knows how to deal with him.

Now random stuff. I'll repeat myself from the last post: oh she totally listened to Jonas Brothers and McFly. Any boyband, actually. Backstreet Boys? Oh hell yeah. If she could, her room'd be filled with posters. She liked manga too, mainly because of the art style -- and she read shoujo the most. She kinda dated some random guy at Wammy's.

aaaaaaaaand done :D ashdoasidh that's what my version of Linda is becoming. At the moment I'm pretty obsessed about her. I know she's basically an OC but I don't care, I love her and she's canon 😡 And I liked the way I wrote her and Matt interacting. How she grounds him and yet they can be completely silly together. And how she's the oposite of Mello; she's something stable. Something I believe Matt'd need after his boyfriend best friend left. And, by what I've wrote, she brings back something Matt thought he had lost inside him. (yeah, she was made initially to support Matt, but who caaaaaaaareeeesssss)

And the first drawing I made of her, to make my post pretty: