#and like yeah. the self awareness is simply not there

[lost-romantique]

One thing that really bugged me about that Hate Party was how much Blitz was made out to be this monster that just dicked on people for "loving" him.

"Blitz. There is a crowd full of people here, who cared so much, they'd throw an entire fucking party about hating you, every year! Do you know how much you have to care to do something as stupid as that?" - Stolas

I'm going to be blunt, these people didn't love Blitz. They loved the mask he puts on, that bravado, that charismatic smile he uses to get what he wants.

We can't assume that Blitz self-destructed in everyone of those relationships, a lot? Yeah. All of them? Fuck no.

I honestly assume most of these relationships were one night stands and whatnot.

And that's simply because of the fact that Blitz walks into the Hate Party and passes by several people with only the incubus giving him looks, simply because he shoved him.

But like, nobody is making a scene or a huge ruckus, even though Blitzo Buckzo- Hell's Heartbreaker is out in the open to a Hate Party he definitely was not invited to.

Like, why is no one after him? Why is no one calling him out at this moment? It isn't hard to notice Blitz, FFS the guy has massive fucking horns on his head, he shouldn't be that hard to pick out from the crowd.

And then there's Dennis who simply has no reason to be there because the only thing Blitz did was brush him away for having a shitty name.

We as the audience knows that the Hate Party was used as a plot device to get Blitz to understand that self-sabotaging relationships in fear of you or them getting hurt is a shitty thing to do.

I also fear it's a plot device that is used to manipulate Stolas into thinking that Blitz is even worse of a guy than he actually is. That Hate Party is not a healthy environment for a guy like Stolas who has as much self-awareness as a potted plant.

However, I digress, Blitz doesn't owe anybody his love or his affections. And while he shouldn't go around hurting people the way he does, I personally feel he shouldn't get attacked just because he might not reciprocate someone's romantic feelings.

How many times do you think Blitz had to use his body to get what he needed?

Not what he wanted. Not pleasure. What he needed to get where he is.

Business license. Office lease. Apartment in Pride. Even his fuckin van.

All things that Imps are less likely to own/have because they are lower on the hierarchy. All things that even Millie was in disbelief and said she "Didn't deserve".

"I have used too much of my time, energy, and holes".

We think this obviously refers to Stolas and the arrangement. But technically... he says this before their "Murder Family" mission. Before the arrangement is even set up. They only fucked once and he was going to take the book anyway.

So that begs the question. Who else has he had to fuck JUST to get what he NEEDS?

[casteliacityramen]

[Previous] [PART 2 OF 2]

“I flew around a bit." 

"I overheard some talks about an open gala in Sinnoh and I decided to attend it. I’ll tell you the whole story about what happened later, but...

... Even when I was trying to relax, I couldn't feel comfortable with myself. Like… like wearing clothes that didn’t fit. The longer the night went on, nothing felt right. And I’m not just talking about the disguise.��

“You felt like a caricature of who you used to be.”

“Yeah. I knew I was going to feel awful when the Continental War was done and over with. I knew we were going to be reprimanded, or worse, but…” Rio frowns deeply, trying to gather her tangled thoughts together.

“I didn't think it'd mess me up as bad as this. I didn’t recognize who I was by the end of the night. I’m worried there’s no going back to who I used to be. I miss the version of myself who could go to a gala and not be miserable in the corner. It feels like that part of me died--that optimistic part of me."

“Do you get what I’m talking about?”

Rio waits with bated breath, only for Ray to curtly answer:

"Yes. And no?"

Rio feels her temper quickly flare up as she lets out a frustrated huff, "Whaddya mean by that?"

Ray raises his palms towards her, slowly.

"It's not that I don't understand what you're saying,” Ray turns to her and gives her a faint smile, "I like to think my experiences are changing me for the better. That’s where you and I differ."

“What, that you’re becoming less of who you used to be and more of… whatever this is?”

"A sub-par noodle penchant?" Ray laughed, throwing Rio's words right back at her from earlier that day.

"You know what I mean, Ray," Rio feels her face get hot. "It's as if..."

"... It's as if you're undoing yourself to make up for what you've done," Rio whispers out loud. The sudden conclusion steals her breath. "Ray, you're not doing all this to punish yourself, are you?"

"..."

"Please say no.”

"It may have started out that way, but that's not the case now."

“Ray…” Rio whispered in disbelief, out loud. 

“You may see this as me continuing a dead man’s legacy. But it’s more than that. This place was a gifted to me and came with a wish. I intend to honor that gesture.

Even though we can’t do any of our usual duties, that’s no excuse to stop acting like a shepherd.”

“If your version of helping the commonwealth is to further seat yourself into guilt, I can’t let you follow through with this.”

“You’re still not getting it, It’s not like that."

"Are you sure about that? Because it's all starting to sound like you're doing this as some sort of messed up way of repenting for your sins."

"I'm telling you, it's not like that."

“Ray, there's a moment when memorialization for someone else turns into hurting yourself." 

"Like how you visited your own gravestone in Johto? Do you really see all of your soldiers offering gifts in your memory and call that self harm? Didn't you just say that you're grieving over someone who you used to be? Is it really that wrong? To cling to what's left!?"

"For me, it is."

"We aren't mortal, Ray. This entire conversation we're having? This argument? All of it? This is what happens when we can't move on. We drag everything with us for hundreds, maybe thousands of years whether we like it or not. This is only going to bring you pain in the long run.

I’m sorry I blew up at you earlier today, but I still stand by what I said. You have no right to continue Tai Ishikawa's legacy, even if all of this was a gift.

All of this? Hanging around Ingram's descendants, Ayumi and Jack? Working an ungodly amount of hours for a tiny bit of yen? The past guilt alone will eat you alive."

"I'm aware of what happens to me if I stew in it. I've been here five years longer than you have,” Ray mutters. “Besides, do you think that I don't know how to live with all the pain I've gathered? Do you really think that guilt alone has made me stick it out this far?”

Of course not. But... she can't simply admit that.

She’s seen him on good days, bad days, and worse days. She's seen him scraping by with little money to his name but continuing to honestly run the business with a straight back and taut shoulders.

She shakes her head, unsure of herself. After all, she's borrowing words that Ray used to tell her in the past. She's not used to being on this side of the argument, which begs the question: are they destined to swap places again somewhere, sometime down the future?

"I've seen what guilt does to you, Ray. I sure as shit know what it's doing to me," Rio shakes her head, sighing. "I don't think this is only guilt... But there's more of it than I want to see. I don't need any more reasons to lose sleep at night if I can keep you from hurting yourself."

“Then…

... Are you willing to stop me? Stop all of this if I fly past that line?"

"You're already dangerously close. Some would say that you're already past the line of hurting yourself."

"I'm not."

Rio was hoping for any sense of weakness, any stumble over words, fumble in his convictions, but Ray continued to stare at her. Rio was the first to look away.

"All of this… It helped you?”

"It has. I’d love to have you here."

"Okay."

--

The two sit in comfortable silence. As the sun fades, so too, does the tension between them. With no further words to be exchanged, the rest of the decanter behind the counter is emptied out.

Ray makes a disgusted face with every sip. One of the unfortunate effects of their blessings is the rapid processing of whatever toxins enter their body, like alcohol. If they wanted to get remotely buzzed, they had to drink the stuff that was barely safe for consumption.

Which reminds her...

“I thought I’d get you this as a peace offering.”

“What is this?”

“Got it from the gala I talked about earlier. Wine from out of this dimension. Just like the guests."

“What?”

“Later. But guess what? I actually got drunk.”

“Bullshit. Why'd you make me drink the rest of that decanter? Pour me some.”

“You’re the one with the hands, you pour us some.”

Before Ray could reach behind the counter to grab the glasses once more, they are interrupted by the sound of a squeaky stool and a pained, muffled grunt at the end of the stand.

Jack sits in the seat farthest from them, his eyes never meeting theirs. His mouth opens, but it takes a long time for him to slowly form the words. He shrinks as he whispers:

“I don’t know where else to go.”

It's about time they get ready to open back up, anyway.

[Pinned Post]

[cruel-hiraeth]

*gets comfortable on your couch

i’m listening. i know you love talking about your most favorite most beloved harbinger 🌝💛

this is all below the cut because i have exactly 1 (one) modicum of self respect. this is the most embarrassing thing i’ve ever done online.

a couple of notes:

right now, this is a canon-divergent au, so the “traveler” does not exist.

while i haven’t decided which region i’d be from yet, this all takes place in liyue, and i’m not from liyue. so i’m a foreigner with few interpersonal ties.

our dynamic is very one-sided enemies to lovers because i really can't stand him, whereas he’s a soft/subtle yandere because he knows from the first time he sees me that i’m “it” for him. but it’s a slow burn because he’s in it for the long haul.

i live and work in liyue when we meet. i’m not anyone particularly special or noteworthy; i simply work with an antique bookseller, interested in learning the ropes. i have an interest in not just regional literature, but international literature, and i hope to start my own business someday.

the 11th fatui harbinger is doing what he always does: shady business. he’s on a particularly lengthy mission (which may or may not involve trying to topple the government) at northland bank. since he’s in liyue for months and acts essentially as a diplomat, he knows the city inside and out. he has his eye on me for a while. i notice him because i’m aware of the fatui—his clothing gives him away. but i have no interest in becoming friendly with him because everyone knows the fatui is bad news.

eventually, childe stops by and pretends like he’s interested in the books (he is but not for the right reasons) and our rapport begins there. he’s charming, but i’m allergic to charm as someone who’s inherently distrustful… i also just dislike him off the bat. i very obviously dodge all his flirting attempts.

after some period of time, he starts asking questions—trying to get to know me—and i’m begrudging with my responses. but also he’s a paying customer (one of our highest paying customers, to my disdain) so i must be civil and engage without divulging too much. with our encounters becoming more and more frequent, he becomes more forward (i.e. he not-so-subtly asks me out) and i always say know. he’s persistent and i turn him down without fail. annoyingly, he doesn’t get discouraged by my rejection; in fact, he kind of (very much) relishes in it—it makes cracking me all the more rewarding.

the timeline in my mind isn’t set in stone, but this continues for at least a year. i try to live my life and he remains a thorn in my side. but there comes a point when he visits me late one night as i’m closing shop that he’s returning to snezhnaya, unsure of if/when he will return. and he has the gall to ask—yet again—whether i’ll go on a date with him if he returns someday.

it’s kind of a ridiculous proposition, and i’m so eager to get him out of my hair (and life) that i tell him fine! i will eventually go out with you if you ever return on 1 condition. and the condition is that he has to bring me [insert an incredibly rare book that i have yet to develop lore for but is basically impossible to track down]. and only if he returns with said book in hand will i grace him with my presence on a date. and i’m truly convinced that he will never be able to find it and i continue on with my life.

fast forward a year or so: guess which fatui harbinger returns to liyue with the aforementioned book in hand, wearing a shit eating grin?

i seem to have forgotten that he's filthy rich and he works in (what is essentially) an insanely intricate intelligence organization that has tabs on all the black markets across teyvat and—yeah. he finds the book. and i'm so shocked/thrilled to see the book that i forget to be pissed for a minute.

so i go on a date with him because i’m a woman of my word. i suspect that he’s going to take me on some stupidly stuffy fancy date since he has more money than he knows what to do with. but we actually go to a hole-in-the-wall eatery that i’ve never tried even though i’ve lived in liyue for several years. and then we walk around the city at sunset and i sort of maybe find myself enjoying his company...

i kind of envision the date ending with him being humble for the first time in my presence. he says something like, “i really appreciated you going out with me tonight. i’d love to do this again sometime, but i won’t force you to." (the humility lasts for all of 3 seconds, but—maybe—i don’t hate him as much as i thought i did...)

so i say something along the lines of, “well, maybe if you get on your knees and beg me, i’ll let you take me out again.”

and then he says something gross like, “i can do a lot more on my knees that just beg~” so i immediately want to kill him again. but our relationship sort of progresses from there…

the end i’m done embarrassing myself for the evening.

[sebbyisland]

my hakuhiro thesis.

Hakuri x Chihiro is hilarious because neither of them have any idea of what romance looks like. Both grew up isolated from society and their peers. I don't think either of them would actually develop DEEP romantic feelings until they are older. There would probably be some romantic/sexual tension in fleeting moments.

Hakuri maybe has movies as a reference for romance but idk if Chihiro did anything like that with his dad in the middle of the woods, and if he did it’s probably old samurai films like Seven Samurai. Chihiro had a childhood crush on actor Toshiro Mifune (understandable) and his dad knew but decided to let him figure it out on his own. He didn’t figure it out. Chihiro doesn't know homosexuality exists until age ~17.

During the years hunting for any news on the enchanted blade with Shiba, Shiba realizes Chihiro never reacts to the female models on billboards and magazines so he’s internally like (🏳️‍🌈?) and tries to be supportive by mentioning his queer friends but Chihiro is just like. Okay. Cool. Shiba lets it go; it doesn't really matter anyways.

Meanwhile in the current story timeline, Hakuri JUST figured out he’s not doomed to die alone and unloved. Sex and romance are not even on his radar. Hakuri COULD be more self aware except he still puts Chihiro on a pedestal as his “samurai” even though they are supposed to be equal allies. When Hakuri gets a little bit more self esteem he realizes he’s a hopeless romantic but still lacks the self awareness to consider his actual feelings and Chihiro is just objectively hot, actualy. They are blood brothers for years.

They would 100% sleep on the same bed as bros without question. I’m pretty sure everyone in their little squad would just pile on the same bed and sleep. But these two, specifically, are immune to so many romance tropes it’s stupid.

After some time Shiba once again goes "🏳️‍🌈?" but feels like he’s hallucinating everything because everyone else is like Chihiro? With a crush? Sounds fake but okay. But Shiba KNOWS Chihiro puts extra butter on Hakuri’s eggs. He SEES that Chihiro INITIATES fist bumps with Hakuri. They had a one arm hug that one time. Everyone else thinks those are pretty normal things to do, but Shiba is fucking dying. He’s too old to care about teenage drama. He’s 40 stuck with people ages 7 to 22ish. The young love, it's disgusting.

Hakuri-with-more-self-esteem says shit like "once we make a safer world, I can finally get a girlfriend in peace :) Chihiro will be my best man at our wedding and Char will be the flower girl :)” Shiba wants to STRANGLE him for this but Chihiro is just like “yeah I hope you find happiness (sincere), you deserve it”

Shiba's nephew is in love with a straight boy. He wants to cry. Hasn’t Chihiro suffered enough?!?! Maybe Chihiro will get over it maybe it’ll be fine. The reality is that Chihiro is so unbothered. He trusts Hakuri with his life and simply doesn't think further into that. He gets weird looks from Shiba sometimes and ignores them.

Flash forward to post-canon or near the final arc Hakiru is ACTUALLY flirting with Chihiro but he’s really bad at it. It's shojo manga embarrassing and he's 20 years old. NOW THE REST OF THE CREW REALIZES WHAT’S HAPPENING.

Chihiro at this point is a Black Box. His experience with men making passionate declarations of interest towards him are men trying to kill him and/or projecting their feelings about his dead dad on him. The deeper reason Hakiru's advances fly over is head is that Chihiro is most receptive to a quiet kind of love. He’s not one for grand gestures. He wants banter, he wants to wash each other's backs, he wants to go to sleep without feeling burdened by grief and guilt. He wants to be a swordsmith, not a samurai. He wants to build a home and a family.

Chihiro knows he is taken care of. He recognizes the kindness and love people show him and he gives it back. One day, it clicks for him that his relationship with Hakiru is drifferent from the rest of his friends/family. He asks him out. Obviously Hakiru says yes.

Hakiru thinks the flirting successfully communicated his feelings but Chihiro is nice enough not to correct him. It doesn't matter. They take things steady and roll with the punches and move in together and unofficially adopt char and get pet goldfish and fuck nasty and live HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

[feedingicetothedog]

thinking a lot about how sam said that he sees lestat as a high status clown that can't really process that someone might be laughing at him.........

[bacchuschucklefuck]

gukgak specifically from my typing (man w/ three jobs & a creeping sense of dread)

[vellichorom]

Hey personal question. Because I never ever wanna make you uncomfortable. But sometimes I worry I might say something to nice about Theirry. Like example : gonna hug him and something else

But then other times I don't wanna say something to mean. Like example : make him explode

Like he's a lovely Narrator and I do enjoy his design. But I don't wanna miscommunication. I know the obvious stuff like generally being weird like you've pointed out in the past.

But I don't wanna say something In an ask and have it not come off as nice. You genuinely seem really cool and I don't wanna be rude.. yk?

Am I explaining this well? I hope so.

YEAH I GET WHAT YOU MEAN!

i was gonna have this big long elaboration on what i'd prefer you not say BUT I'LL KEEP IT SHORT; just try not to use any expletives that tie back to his being " stinky " ( ie; i wanna dunk him in the trash where he belongs ) or reiterate on & on about how you only want bad things to happen to him & you'll be fine

[ask-ursa-tonypeter]

Multiverse question- lmao kind of a crack!question, but with db extremis Tony’s love for all of the Peters, if he could gather them all to his universe, would he? Would he see himself as their protector? Would he be interested in all of them romantically? Would it be like a giant Tony/Peters poly relationship? Omg would he be into Peter on Peter action? My mind is going wild with the possibilities ngl, I’m just picturing a harem of Peters at this point and wondering if extremis!tony would also be imagining this 😂

This is clearly a very serious and important question 😅

Extremis!Tony: As appealing as the idea is… I wouldn't want to do anything to make Peter doubt that he's the most important part of my life. Sure, I would take the opportunity to pick their brain if another Peter fell into my lap, but Petey is the only son that I need.

[roobylavender]

although i have a lot of hard feelings about romance novels and often come out of them 9/10 times with hatred and embarrassment laced into my heart i do think most people can agree that romance novels at large have developed in response to the control over people's sexual lives and how that's subsequently led to a desperate desire from the sexually repressed to be equal participants in a sexual environment. it's not so much that women want to be in relationships with dominant men to whom they play housewife or baby incubator or worse. it's that women want to be in relationships at all. and because the standard for relationships at large is the nuclear family, this is what subsequently shows up in your literature. why do you think religious women in particular are such a huge audience for romance novels despite the often conservative environment they grow up in? it's bc the consumption of romance novels does not exist in spite of that conservatism but bc of it. to be gatekept from any expression of sexual desire until you marry or until you fornicate for the purposes of having a child is to breed in young women a desire for what we would now no longer consider practices entailing any self-respect. you're kept in an ideological cage all of your life, naturally you reach for what's immediately out of reach rather than consider that there could be more out there that is available to you. it sucks! it's sad, it's horrific, it makes me wanna cry. but i can also never quite blame women for it bc they're not the ones who've created this environment of sexual conservatism (ie the real puritan culture, the one that hypersexualizes virgins by obsessively protecting their chastity prior to marriage bc said chastity can only ever belong to one man). man has. religion has. patriarchy has. why would i focus my hatred on women who are merely coping with the status quo rather than the systems in place that we actually have to change to allow for more sexual freedom and agency?

[marciliedonato]

No but seriously. Can u imagine trying to be like 'omG mcr ArE sUcH sELloUtS I, a cuLtuReD and SeaSonEd nin fAn cOulD nEvEr 🤮🤮 eW whY aRe u GuyS hErE wE doNt wAnT U 🙄😒😒' like my brother in christ. Your man(s) literally made music for the mouse...take several seats... the call is coming from inside the mickey clubhouse 💀💀😩

[ryuuseini]

God I wanna... Say Something regarding fatphobia in media and the terms ppl use in describing characters who gain weight over time ("letting go" like bro shut the fuck up???) and how like, there's also nuance to the discussion (like, a character who starts out on the heavier side choosing to lose weight shouldn't be demonized either - as PLENTY of people want to lose weight for various reasons, and while you can point to a decent amount of it stemming from our fatphobic society, a lot of it is also just personal desire at the end of the day - but I also understand that if your ONLY fat character loses weight at the end and the other characters don't change either, then that's not good) but idk, I'm a little too tired to properly articulate what's going on in my mind? But I just... wish this was more of a discussion

[giantkillerjack]

Catholicism.

[.... oops I accidentally wrote real analysis in the tags lol]

why is he like this

[pissfizz]

I swear for an almost 60 year old woman my aunt is an actual fucking child and I mean this in the most insulting way possible

[rubberbandballqueen]

kid at work, erasing the ‘s’ when i wrote “gays” on the board: it’s okay bc ‘gay’ means happy

me, writing the ‘s’ back in: it also means gay.

kid: but won’t that get us cancelled?

me:

me: i hope you know i’m a queer.

[spellscarred]

I need to actually put it in a reblog here as a reply, because it's important to understand why "water is wet" studies are so important. Even though it's something we know, "water is wet" studies are so important (not just on this topic but on various others like the one time there was one about validating a trans person's gender identity helps their mental health) because it gives a credible source to our lived experience.

It's not even a, "maybe neurotypicals didn't know this" case. Perhaps they do, perhaps they don't, that's ultimately irrelevant. The part to focus on here is that these studies validate our lived experience in a manner that's very hard for them to undermine or invalidate, you know?

These studies may seem "ridiculously obvious" in their conclusion or "superfluous" in that, you could just talk to ADHDers the world over and understand that we've been saying this for decades. But it gives us the tools to fight against the ableist monster that is society instead of just beating our heads against the walls, hurting ourselves more than said walls.

I don't want to say that's the point of this study, because I don't know the people involved nor their motivations. But that's the point of why "water is wet" studies are so, so important. It gives our voice and experiences legitimacy, credibility, that cannot be discounted, because it's right there, with sourced material, with the scientific method in effect, with the conclusion echoing what we all know and have been saying.

So please don't discount studies like this, ever, nor discourage "water is wet" studies from being conducted, because they're important weapons in our fight against ableism and for the rights and accommodations we need to move through our societies.

Scientists once thought that ADHD symptoms were always present. But previous research from Rapport, who has been studying ADHD for more than 36 years, has shown the fidgeting was most often present when children were using their brains' executive functions, particularly "working memory." That's the system we use for temporarily storing and managing information required to carry out complex cognitive tasks such as learning, reasoning and comprehension.

Here’s full study: https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/478386

If you enjoyed this post, please give it a ❤️ and check out @scienceisdope for more science and daily facts.

[reidmania]

blackfish | spencer reid

summary; being in the early stages of your relationship, spencer has yet to hear your passionate rambles, until you watch a documentary together and the topic of animals in captivity comes up.

warnings; fluff, so much fluff fem!reader, early seasons spencer, marine biology major!reader, start of relationship things, talking about animal abuse, animals in captivity, talks about orca’s and the documentary blackfish (i know the time line is unrealistic use ur imagination please)

an; self indulgent as a marine biology major and someone very passionate about the fact animals should not be used as apart of a circus act. Very very short, and sweet.

Your legs were resting over Spencer’s, the heels of your feet pressing against the side of the couch arm, while his hands massaged the skin of your calf gently, the credits to the documentary you had spent the last hour and a half watching together rolling over the tv. His hands were gentle and hesitate in every one of the movements, a little shy.

“Did you like it?” He asked, turning his head to look at you, thumb pressing against a tender muscle in your calf, the sensation causing a soft sigh of relaxation throughout your body, which contradicted the annoyance that had been filling you as the film went on.

You hummed, unsure of how to answer the question. “It was interesting.” You mumbled out, your head rolling to press against the back of the couch cushions. He smiled slightly as his hands continued to work out the tension in your legs.

“Yeah?” He hummed out. You nodded, interesting was a safe way to describe your feelings on the documentary you had watched. It wasn’t that it was bad, it wasn’t at all. And you had been interested, the entire time. Just the more the details were revealed the sicker the feeling got in your stomach.

He shuffled slightly, “What are you thinking about?” He asked, his hands pausing their massaging movements to instead rub gently over the smoothness of your skin. Obviously he had noticed the slightly sour look on your face and the way your mind seemed elsewhere.

“How horrible the human species are.” You answered honestly although you were aware Spencer was already aware of this fact. He worked to stop all the horrible things the human species did everyday. He witnessed it firsthand.

“Annoyed?” He asked. You nodded.

You shuffled slightly, pulling your legs away from where they had been resting over his thighs to sit up a little straighter, tucking your knees underneath you as your hands came to rest on your thighs.

“I don’t understand how anyone can look at animals in aquariums or even animal’s in zoo’s and think that it’s just.. okay?” You huffed out, annoyance lacing your tone as you spoke, every word coming out just as disgusted as the last. “i mean— These are wild animals and people act so shocked when they act like wild animals. Like that poor orca had been put through hell since the age of two— ripped away from his family and everything he knew, starved, beat up by other orca’s all for what? A quick buck?” You huffed out in frustration.

Spencer hadn’t expected the ramble but it definitely wasn’t unwelcome, your voice was laced with so much passion and intent, every word that left your lips showed how deeply you had thought about this. He had hummed in response, not wanting to interrupt.

“Marine mammals — they are isolated more in captivity than they aren’t which is absolutely insane since every aspect of their being is based on their social and emotional connections— I mean they have a whole part of the brain that human’s don’t have thats dedicated to their emotional bonds. Which means they feel everything probably double the amount that we do” You continued in frustration as your arms came to wrap around your stomach, and irritated pout on your lips.

Spencer raised his eyebrow but nodded, you were right. “They don’t belong in captivity” He agreed simply, you nodded passionately in response to what he had said. He couldn’t help the smile that made its way onto his face as you rambled, because this had never happened before. Normally you were pretty quiet, not in a way that you were shy or awkward, you just didn’t ramble a lot, not like he did. This was a nice change and he couldn’t help the way his heart swarmed at the sight of you getting all worked up over something you felt passionately for. He would listen to everything you had to say, and a million times more.

“It’s— so gross. Like it genuinely makes me feel sick how they take these animals away from their families and then exploit them for money. Like dolphins — Teach them tricks and then act like it’s just an extension of their natural behaviours — it’s not. You know marine mammals in captivity die way earlier than marine mammals in their natural habitats? Especially Orca’s. Orca’s could live up to 100 or even more and they hardly make it to 30 in captivity.” You huffed out.

“I didn’t know that” He did.

“And Orca’s— Oh my gosh. Each family speaks in their own set of vocalisations, no two families will communicate the same way. They literally have their own languages. And— and people want to throw Orca’s from different pods together in a pool and call them a family? They can’t even communicate with each other, or understand each other at all!! You know that can lead to aggression between Orca’s? Nearly half of Orca’s deaths in captivity is because of a different whale being too aggressive—“ You paused when you finally realised you were rambling.

Your cheeks burnt at the realisation, meeting Spencer’s eyes which were filled with nothing but love and admiration only furthered the burning sensation in your cheeks. “Sorry.” You huffed out sheepishly. “I got a bit carried away” you let out a laugh.

He shook his head instantly, his hand reaching out to rest gently against your knee, “No. Don’t apologise. Keep talking, what were you going to say?” He asked, almost desperately begging you to continue on with your passionate ramble, continued to further discover this side of you.

“I-“ you started but your brain short circuited at the look in his eye, pleading, sweet, gentle, loving, admiring. How could he look at you like that and expect you to be able to form a coherent sentence — you could hardly form a coherent thought. “I- forgot.” You huffed out.

He smiled widely, “Whales being too aggressive which can lead to that frustration being taken out on other whales, especially if they feel challenged or uncomfortable.” He finished for you, making your smile widen.

“You’re so smart” you huffed the compliment as if he wasn’t told it so often. He didn’t mind, it always meant more coming from you.

“Go on, angel. What else do you have for me?”