#and like the way it feels like it assumes tommy shouldn't need to be protected / taken care of / emotionally vulnerable / etc
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#feeling like a shit stirrer today#so look away if you're not into it#but jesus#the number of takes i've seen in the last couple days that essentially amount to#'it's so good they put buck with someone physically bigger than him because that way he can be all soft and protected#and emotionally vulnerable because he has a big strong man to protect him'#is actively gross#and just feels like sanitized uwu top/bottom discourse#like a person's body type does not dictate whether they are allowed to express emotions or be vulnerable#please#like the weird gendered implications of that particular reading are so very not it for me#anyway#i don't know y'all#911 discourse#anti bucktommy#just in case#like i AM anti bucktommy in general at this point#but this post is only actually anti this particular take#and like the way it feels like it assumes tommy shouldn't need to be protected / taken care of / emotionally vulnerable / etc#is just kind of very gross to me#people in a relationship are meant to be partners their ability to care for one another is not dictated by their physical attributes#i can't believe that requires saying like goddamn y'all#anyway ignore me#might delete later
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So here is the second part to my glass divine chapter 9 analysis:
So Phil immediately getting super protective of Tommy is sweet. [He looked about two seconds from tackling the Pythia.] Understandable given how Wilbur's escape attempt went.
Tommy gives me so many conflicting emotions. As I said before, I'm still upset with the way Tommy is handling this, but he obviously doesn't have any malicious intent. Like Tommy is a good guy. Not telling anyone Wilbur's name because he hopes Wilbur will one day tell them himself-
bless his soul the sweet boy
I find this crimeboys relationship to be very strange. I have never seen them written like this before. It's super interesting because–god, how do I even put this into words–like, they shouldn't trust each other. They shouldn't even like each other; Wilbur is a prisoner and Tommy is his captor. And they don't but they do?? It's so odd and captivating!
Wilbur doesn't want a different guard. And he doesn't know why he's so drawn to Tommy. We can assume Tommy feels the same way about him too. They confuse each other andmake things so complicated.
Phil's wife:)
I love Jack so much. He's what everyone needs in life. I don't think there is much else to say. I don't see Jack written enough and if he is in a story he's usually just comic relief. You did him right in stars and are doing him so well in glass! Thank you
Niki too. You don't write her as a pushover. She's kind but she won't take anyone's shit. Her and Jack have so much (platonic) chemistry. They feel like they've been friends for a long time and fit with Tommy so well.
can't wait to talk about tubbo and sam next as well as wilbur's mental state:)
-🧭
HI COMPASS ANON SORRY THIS TOOK AGES I was holding onto your analysis in case I was struggling to get back into the glass mindset bc answering these asks sometimes helps me get back into the headspace for it (it wasn't needed in the end I've finished the next chapter, but of course I'm still thrilled to answer this)
lol yeah phil is very protective of his kid even if he's not super outright about it
I'm so glad you're enjoying this take on crimeboys!! i'm having a lot of fun writing it. it's definitely different from how I've written them before and how I've seen them written before, and I think it's a very interesting way to twist their dynamic around. they have no reason to trust each other or like each other but they do. something between them just clicks, and as time goes on they're just getting closer and closer.
aww ty!! i love writing rocketduo so much. I loved c!rocketduo on the dsmp because I thought they were such interesting characters, so I love including them in interesting ways in my fics. strangely enough, writing c!jack is super easy for me. he's funny but he's also not just comic relief, and i love exploring the sides of his character the majority of the fandom usually ignores in fics. meanwhile writing c!niki is a lot trickier bc I try to avoid writing her in a way that could make her seem like a 'mom friend' or a 'caretaker' because so many writers just pigeonhole her into that because, well, woman character. she's kind, but she's not just there to take care of the male characters around her. I'm glad the chemistry works well between all of them :)
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can i ask why you don't like tess and joel together? i always love hearing your insight about shows!! i'd love to hear your thoughts/ opinions on this pairing!
A few reasons, and I'm not trying to step on any toes it just seems like I'm in quite the minority. Part of it is my own understanding, in the games remaster there are lines added that gave people the idea that Tess and Joel may have slept sometime in their past. I personally never read it that way. Only previous shippers evet talked about it. So I went into this show never believing that was even a thing.
Now on the shows own mertits, its weak. In episode one, the dramatic tonal shift from pre to post outbreak is entierly about Joel. A bleaker colour palette, quiet deep tones, and a somber soundtrack. It is purposley matching to Joel being a man who refuses himself any comfort beacuse he doesn't feel enough like a real person anymore to want it. Joel isn't a character only meant to be gruff to loving for just Ellie, its who he is now as a whole. Even the drinking is followed with close ups of Joels bitter reactions like not even his only vice brings him anything. He then falls asleep drugged on his bed and I did not feel right about watching her climb imto his bed to cuddle him while Joel is passef out from drugs. He doesn't wake up until shes already let him go and off the bed. It was for her and felt very wrong and rings to parts of me that know how easily people brush men being taken advantage of.
If you were in any kind of romance or relationship that looks like the way Joel and Tess interact you'd know thats not healthy. They are friends and long time smuggling partners, but are clearly two very different and difficult people who seem to be tired of putting up with the other. Walking away to force Joel to house Ellie as she gets to go to hers. So strike the idea she lives there, she doesn't and I assume she, Joel, and Tommy had keys to the others places beacuse their work is illegal and need privacy. So she walked into not her home and tries to cuddle Joel while he is passed out on drugs as he turns away from her only to have her stop before he wakes up. To me that implies she knows, that Joel would be upset if he woke up to that. Like she knows she shouldn't do it but does beacuse Joel is too drugged to even be concious.
Second episode I have a lot to say. Joel and Tess are at odds this entire episode. He and her either argue or are contentious towards the other in more then one way. They work together because they are friends but are fed up with being around each other.
The episode is a mirror for Joel. He is silent and watchful and it's all towards Ellie. Telling Tess not to fill Ellie with hope when neither of them are sure she is actually immune yet because he thinks letting a dying girl beleive she has a future is cruel. He is the one always doing the actionable thing for Ellie and when he does Tess fades silent into the background of the scene beacuse now it's a representation of Joel's focus. Ellie. Tess if there, but not when Ellie's in front of him. Tess talks to Ellie like an adult asking about boyfriends and joking about how she got bit. Joel stands in the background. Trying to push Ellie onto Tess so he can shive away this protective instinct but you can see the conversation bothers him. Theres no joke in Ellie getting bit because its a miracle she survived. Her safety isn't funny to Joel nor is he willing to cope with the danger as a joke.
Later, Joel is quiet and distant unlike how easy Tess is to talk to. If you didn't catch it, but as soon as Joel breaks the silence Ellie tries to prevent it from stopping. Shes awkward and decides to mimic the questions Tess asked her. But Joel doesn't think Tess should talk to Ellie like an adult so he shuts down Ellie trying to emulate thay behavior. He isn't here to find a friend in her and thinks Ellie needs to be treated like a kid because he knows he still has to be the one to protect her.
When Tess starts lashing out, theres a tense frustration in Joel and its why he walks away from her without even trying to ask anything. He's fed up and only finds a peaceful sombre moment looking at the view with Ellie.
Then, he watches Ellie go down the ladder and stands alone. Looks at his watch, his mind making a correlation of talking to Ellie with being reminded of Sarah. The next sequence is Joels rude awakening.
Joel gets pissed off and finally yells at Tess, only to be bombarded with news. That Tess hid a bite from them, that she doesnt have long to go, and that he needs to take Ellie.
Its not about Tess. Joel has only thought of Ellie this episode and this moment is the culmination. Not only is he realizing that his friend hid from them that she's about to die, that a hoard is coming and she's going to do something quite drastic.
His face screams of a man realizing how terrified he is of reliving his nightmares. That he now is forced to deal with his attachment to Ellie and cannot just ignore it now. Hes in pain of what hes so terrified to relive with another kid but knows its what matters.
He said nothing to Tess. Barley looks at her. No words, no goodbye, no anything. Just terror at how real his nightmares are about to become. His final moment with Tess is to ignore her.
He decides he cares about Tess way less then he cares about Ellie and thats all that matters. His turn go grab Ellie is so quick and desperate, refusing to let her go as he forces them outside beacuse he refuses to let anything get in the way of her saftey.
Tess didn't convince Joel of anything. People who think that moment was any influence from Tess missed the entire point of the episode. Whatever Tess felt for Joel was confirmed to be one sided in that scene. That Joel has never looked at her in that way, never loved her and he refuses to spent Tess's final moments with her when he has spent all episode protecting Ellie at every turn. Thats the only place his heart is.
There is next to no chemistry between them either. Pedro has put no engagement into whatever the actress tried to push. It's only there because I think the fandom is blinded by wanting Pedro in a romance.
I've watched and rewatched and there was never even a moment I sort of saw what the shippers were saying. Reducing Tess to Joels love interest is insulting to her character and decideing that in an episode dedicated to Joel's silent growing attachment to Ellie, is actually all about Tess in the end and thats his driving force and motivation is so insulting to Joel.
Joel's heart is only belonging to one person. A person he spends all episode seeing echoed in Ellie. Tess was the catalyst that forced Joel to realize his trauma was truly about to torment his life and live him in fear of failing again.
Joel's entire character in these two episodes is a reflection of Joels internal struggle of accepting fatherhood. He doesn't love Tess and he never did. He abandons her without any words to protect what he can no longer ignore that he actually cares for.
Giving Tess ANY influence on how Joel sees and interacts with Ellie is doing a massivr disservice to the true painful tramatic struggle hes felt the past 2 episodes.
And making Tess in love with Joel just made her interactions with him like the bed scene feel incredibly manipulative and taking advantage of a broken man who doesn't want her in his life like that.
Not everyone has to agree obviously, and I am a huge minority that not only doesnt ship them, but actively thinks they were not only never invovled but that Joel had never had feelings for her or loved her. I'm very alone in that opinion.
But I think its worth exploring why I feel it, because I think it takes a massive impact away of the thematic narrative structure around Joels entire character. If you disagree thats fine, I haven't engaged in your posts at all because I don't want an argument.
But many people have been rude, attacking and very unkind to people who don't support the joel tess ship. And I should be allowed to state why I think their interpretation misses the entire point of what Joels reactions and interactions mean.
Normally I wouldn't be so vocal about a ship I dislike. But this fandom has shown very ugly colours towards people who don't support a ship that has now been confirmed to never exist.
#tlou spoilers#the last of us spoilers#long post#this was very long but this fandom has been quite nasty about anything to do with opinions on tess these past 2 weeks#so heres my case#im sorry if it upsets anyone but its a point of view this fandom is either missing or activley ignoring
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I MISSED YOU JAMIE! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I HOPE YOUR EXAMS WENT OKAY 🤍
"There were little wrinkles on her face that you’d not previously noticed and suddenly you felt the familiar pain of knowing that nothing lasts forever. Your eyes watered slightly at the thought of losing everyone one day." O U C H. I always go through this nearly every week where I'm just suddenly struck w the painful realization that one day everyone I love will die and I'll be left behind 🙃💔
"You started off with the code immediately, assuming anyone could be listening to your calls." I love the way they've created a series of codes so that they can communicate certain things w/o properly having to communicate them (I hope that makes sense 🙈)
“I miss you.” “I miss you too." THEY ARE THE SWEETEST 🥺
“Do you hear me?” “Don’t go calling Noah, just fucking forget him eh? For now. For both your sakes just fucking leave this alone.” wow. harsh Thomas. I get she maybe shouldn't have told Noah but considering she's so out of the loop w it all, he's the only one she feels she can confide in 🙁
"Memories of your late father's hand across your cheek became harder and harder to push down. Memories of the Priest at the orphanage with his hands around your neck flooded your mind." the flashbacks. poor thing :(
“Why would it be for her-” “You’ve got to be kidding me.” NOAH TO THE RESCUE 😭
"She jumped up and he caught her in a large embrace, twirling her around, her laugh echoing. They said nothing as he picked her up and started to carry her the rest of the way back to the house." THE CUTEST 🥺 I'm too fat for that though unfortunately 🤭
“So romantic isn't it?” Esme is me 🥰
“She must have mentioned what's going on. Brought the whole fucking organization by the looks of it.” STOP I LOVE NOAH FOR THIS 🤣🥺
“What are you doing here!” “Bringing Apples.” I know I keep saying it but THEY ARE THE CUTEST 🥺
"Apples? - better not be some kinky shit or ill skin him alive. Tommy thought bitterly" of course Tommy would worry the apples means something sexual 🤣
“I heard that things were getting a bit dangerous in these parts. Thought the least I could do is ask around and come to help out.” "His stare was intense as you realized the full extent of what he meant. He brought everyone here to protect you." NOAHHH 😭 I LOVE YOU SIR 😭
“Eh, the boy wouldn't shut up. He’s miserable when he starts. Just like his mum was.” so basically, Alfie only agreed so Noah would shut up 🤣
“Look, we love our daughter, you love your son. For their sake let’s try to keep things as normal as possible. No business when they are around. Whether things work out or not let's just try to get along like parents would?” yes mama Lizzie 🙌🏽
“Our families are more friends than they are enemies. I’m not interested in business, your dad worked hard to get his life cleaned up. I respect him for not wanting you to fall into all this.” “Does that mean you’d leave it behind?” “In a heartbeat." SO SOFT FOR THEM 🥺
“Your dad is a right savage. He ever tell you about the time with the Russians? Savage.” ALFIE 🤣 for fuck sakes 🤣
“Numbers, I like that. Smart girl, people like us always need clever accountants. Very sharp.” Alfie, how nice of you 🥺
“I think he is darling. Try not to stress over it.” although I enjoy the odd moments between Y/N and Tommy, the relationship she has w Lizzie is so heartwarming and it's what both of them deserve 🥰😭
let me start by saying, I love how Y/N finds comfort in sleeping between Lizzie and Tommy. it is so adorable and it's so wholesome knowing that she most likely does it bc she feels safest between her parents.
I think Noah ultimately has good intentions and just wants to do whatever it takes to keep Y/N safe, even if he has to pester his father into helping out w it. I cannot wait for more chaos as these two families are forced to stay together right now while awaiting the arrival of the Changrettas. amazing work as always my love and thank you so much for this! I LOVE U ❤️
Closing Walls & Ticking Clocks is one of my favourite current series from you and I'd love a chapter where both sides of the family 'attempt' to have a peaceful dinner as a truce that eventually turns into the chaos one would expect when the Solomons + the Shelbys come together 🤭🙈 lots of love from Cass, proud of you always my friend.
Lovely Cass!
This is a whole bunch of things and it does include a dinner but most of the chaos will be in the next chapter! Hope you like where this is going. Love you ❤️
Rated: nothing explicit. The reader has an anxiety attack - not described in too much detail, but there are flashbacks to abuse, and she is comforted immediately. Mentions of losing a baby in the past, usual Shelby drama / peaky related themes
Previous parts: click here
You watched closely as Lizzie and Tommy navigated their relationship. He’d become much more protective of her, trying to be by her side more.
You’d sneakily traded bits and pieces of information about you and Noah to Polly till she was tipsy enough to give you more details about what had happened to Ruby. Once finished her eyes glazed over as she looked into the fire. You knew that she put on a sunny exterior for you and the kids, but deep down she looked an awful lot like Tommy in these moments.
Tired.
There were little wrinkles on her face that you’d not previously noticed and suddenly you felt the familiar pain of knowing that nothing lasts forever. Your eyes watered slightly at the thought of losing everyone one day.
“Time is all you have in the end.” She said darkly as if reading your thoughts. “Lizzie’s tough, she’ll be fine, love.” She followed in her usual tone.
The next few days you felt weighed down by Lizzie’s story. Unfortunately, there was nothing for you to do other than hope and pray that things would be different. Doctors were in and out frequently, and you’d walk in step with them asking questions till Tommy would tell you off.
The only thing that took your mind off of her, was the ever-growing threat against the family. Faceless, nameless, and motivated by revenge. No one would answer your questions or concerns.
Not knowing what else to do you called Noah. Mostly because you missed him, but also because you hoped that if Alfie had heard anything Noah would pass it along to you. The sound of his deep voice was enough to make your shoulders drop and you slid down the kitchen wall, taking a stolen cigarette out of your pocket. You started off with the code immediately, assuming anyone could be listening to your calls.
“I got a new coat ordered, it's Red. Going to match my Red shoes.” You said in a girly tone.
Red - things are sketchy, don't say too much.
“I liked the green one personally. Should I come around later? ” There was a faint tone of worry in his voice that made your knees weak.
“No, dad’s very busy. Lots of things happening with the business, you know how it can get.” You brushed him off taking a long drag of your cigarette. Wishing more than anything you could rest in his arms for a bit.
“I miss you.” He said softly and you heard an eruption of abuse calling after him from the men in the warehouse.
“I miss you too. Tell your dad I say hi? Might need to bring some apples around to make a pie one of these days.”
Apples - help.
“I’m sure he’d like that. When are you available to come around?”
“Anytime over the next few weeks should be fine. Nothing urgent is happening with me at the moment.” Things felt very urgent. But you didn't want to worry him.
“Just missing you both. Your dad always has so much to say.” You laughed a little remembering the brief meeting you’d had with him.
“We miss you too, love.”
“I’ll call you tonight.”
“Bye.” The line went dead and you hoped he understood what you were asking for.
You took a few breaths before getting back on your feet. You quickly opened a window and aired out the space before going up to find Lizzie. You spent the day by her side trying to make her laugh. When she’d get quiet you’d tuck in next to her and read. You found a great deal of comfort in being beside her and with the way she’d press a kiss to the top of your head or run her hand down your arm you felt she must feel the same.
That night, faceless men started following you in your sleep leaving you with the feeling that you were being watched. The phone rang sending you out of your bed and flying down the hallway. The ringing had stopped before you reached the phone at the bottom of the stairs. Moving into Tommy’s study you assumed he’d be giving Noah a hard time like he usually did. But it was silent. Your dad’s face was emotionless and cold as he looked up from his desk. He listened to whoever was on the other end of the phone.
“That won’t be necessary.” Swiftly he ended the call while putting out the cigarette dangling from his other hand.
“They are going to start closing in on us. No phone calls, no one in, and no one out of the house. You hear me?” His eyes were dark and for once you understood why people were so afraid of him. You froze on the spot your brain understanding what he was trying to say, but the rest of you only registered his tone. A wave of irrational panic started to shoot through you. He never talked to you that way ever.
“Do you hear me?” His words cut into you. “Don’t go calling Noah, just fucking forget him eh? For now. For both your sakes just fucking leave this alone.”
I fucked up. He blames me.
Memories of your late father's hand across your cheek became harder and harder to push down. Memories of the Priest at the orphanage with his hands around your neck flooded your mind.
Suddenly he got up from his seat and instead of running you decided to drop to the floor finally breaking eye contact. You tried to push him away as he picked you up and without a word he carried your shaking body upstairs. Your mind was racing in a hundred different directions accepting your fate, you squeezed your eyes shut. You heard a door open and then you were placed on a bed, but the sheets were wrong.
“What’s wrong with her.” Lizzie hissed and you felt her hands cradle your face.
“I may have shouted at her,” Tommy responded in an exasperated tone. He picked you up and placed you properly next to Lizzie.
“You shout at each other all the time?” She whispered, her cool fingers brushing the worry lines from your forehead. “Thomas,” She said in a tone that would wilt flowers.
“I’m fine.” You whisper. You felt the two of them get you under a blanket.
“Look, look at me.” He said softly. You shook your head, afraid to see that awful look in his eyes again. He said your name and Lizzie put her arm around you. You could tell by her sharp intake of breath that whatever she was about to say would be fatal. You opened your eyes and saw the version of him you were used to.
“Alfie and I don't have the best track record. He’s sold us out a few times, Eh? He works for the highest bidder. The last thing I want to see is you or the boy caught up in this. I don’t want either of you hurt. I know you will blame yourself for the rest of your life if something happens to him.”
Grace.
His words started to make sense, well, they always made sense. It was the way he said it that set you off. You nodded to show that you understood. He kissed your forehead and you made an unsuccessful effort to not jump away. The hurt in his eyes and the way Lizzie tensed up caused you to tell the truth.
“It’s not you. My dad- the priest - I - “ You took a deep breath. “I figured I was in for a beating. Just caught me off guard. You're fine. Thank you for caring about Noah.”
“Care is a bit much-”
“Thomas,” Lizzie warned. He let out a sigh, something flashed in his face and you assumed it was wonder about how he ended up here.
“What? Look, no one is putting their hands on you, certainly not me. And if anyone does I’ll kill them myself.”
You nodded and were grateful that those words ended the evening. You held his hand until you felt like you could doze off. Lizzie had fallen asleep again and you moved her arm off of you gently before kissing Tommy good night.
You fell asleep the moment your head touched the pillow.
Waking up your heart sank at the thought of not seeing or speaking to Noah for an undermined about of time. Sadness quickly turned into rage at the thought of some of the girls in your class moving in on him in your absence. With a huff of defeat, you got up and stuffed your feet into your slippers. Opening the curtain you were met with a positively gorgeous sight. The forest was coated in a heavy blanket of white snow.
Everything was pushed from your head momentarily as you ran through the house to find your parents. Loud voices were drifting up from the stairs and suddenly you were met with the whole family stuffed into the entryway. Swearing and shouting at the kids and where people's things were, the chaos only added to your high spirits.
“What's going on?”
“Movin' in!” Arthur boomed pulling you into a hug. The maids floated passed you to help bring everyone's things in. You naturally moved to Tommy’s side.
“Dad! Did you see the snow!”
“It’s hard to miss.”
“Can we go for a walk today?” You wanted to spend time with him just to ensure everything was good between the two of you. John came close and pressed his shoulder against Tommy’s before he could answer.
“Whole pack of cars just pulled up to the gate,” John said in a hushed voice. “M’ assuming it's for her.” He nodded towards you with a small smile.
“Why would it be for her-” Tommy stopped suddenly. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Knowing that look could only mean it was Noah, you moved passed everyone to set out onto the front steps.
It looked like the King was coming though. A whole parade of black cars rolled up and started pouring in from the gate. Without better judgment, you kicked off your slippers and tore down the steps in nothing but your nightgown and wool jumper.
“No! -” Tommy shouted but you saw the third black car slow down and Noah got out and started towards you. Everything was pushed from your mind as you ran through the snow-covered drive.
___
She jumped up and he caught her in a large embrace, twirling her around, her laugh echoing. They said nothing as he picked her up and started to carry her the rest of the way back to the house.
“So romantic isn't it?” Esme said and Tommy resisted the urge to put a hole in the wall.
“Young love. Can’t be stopped can it?” Lizzie said appearing out of nowhere.
“She must have mentioned what's going on. Brought the whole fucking organization by the looks of it.” Esme responded. Lizzie looked over to Tommy, his posture made her quickly grab his arm to lean against him.
“Not sure how they’re going to get back to London in this weather,” Polly stated the obvious with a devious smile on her face.
Noah carried her all the way up the stairs placing her on the entryway carpet.
“What are you doing here!” She said breathlessly, her face pink.
“Bringing Apples.” He answered easily. Her face lit up as everyone watched in confusion. Whatever it was it meant a lot to her.
Apples? - better not be some kinky shit or ill skin him alive. Tommy thought bitterly as Alfie came into view.
“Morning,” Alfie said looking pleased with himself. “Word on the street says the Shelbys are back under one roof.”
“Office,” Tommy said pulling Lizzie alongside him. Arthur and John watched Alfie closely as they all descended into the office.
__________
The office door closed and you looked back up at Noah still unbelieving that he was there. After carrying you all that way your flushed body was most certain of his close presence, but your mind was more stubborn. You thought maybe his dad would call if he heard anything. You didn't think he’d come all this way in a snowstorm. He kept you close and you were desperate to talk to him alone. A look that must have been obvious as Esme suddenly started herding you all into the Kitchens.
“Long journey like that requires a hot cuppa tea!”
The three of you sat at the table while the kids ran wildly through the house. She poured glasses of whiskey and hot tea before starting her interrogation.
“So all the way from London, that’s a long way for some tea.”
He chuckled and took a sip of the whiskey before answering.
“It's excellent tea.” He smiled at you and your face turned hot. “I heard that things were getting a bit dangerous in these parts. Thought the least I could do is ask around and come to help out.” His stare was intense as you realized the full extent of what he meant. He brought everyone here to protect you.
“Interesting and what did you hear exactly?”
“The Changretta family was taking a special interest in the whereabouts of the family. They came to us, the day before some Irish lads told us that you were all moving back to watery lane. You called later on saying things were dangerous.”
“And all the lads?”
“Wasn’t sure what type of folks you had protecting the place. Figured more wouldn't be a problem.”
“And your Da’ what’s in it for him?”
“Ah, that I’m not quite sure of. I’d like to think that they did it because I asked. But he and Thomas always seem to have something going on between them.”
Esme nodded satisfied with her answers.
“So you brought men - “
“And guns.”
“Men and guns, but how are the two of you going to get back to London.”
“Figured we join in on the fun.” He shrugged. Esme let out a laugh.
________________________________
“I told you this wasn't necessary,” Tommy said in a tense voice.
“Eh, the boy wouldn't shut up. He’s miserable when he starts. Just like his mum was.” Alfie said looking around.
“Why help us?” Arthur asked with clenched fists.
“Well, things are a bit different these days, no?”
“Not different to us. Kids in love or not, we still have history, and this isn't a time to be doing business.” John said responding before Arthur could get them into trouble.
“Irish boys are out on the street saying that the Shelby clan are moving back to Watery lane. Changretta are chasing every lead they get for information about you lot. Gave me an offer to help finish you off.”
“And?” Tommy said cooly.
“And I told them I’d see it done. The real question is how are we going to get back at them if we are holed up in the house?”
“The snow -” John started.
“-Will give us time to plan, but we’ll need to be ready once the roads clear.”
“Again why help us?” Tommy asked.
“I have a business offer.” Tommy knew he wouldn't give more information with everyone in the room.
“You lot out.” He waved for everyone but Lizzie and Alfie to leave. Once the door was shut he waited for him to go on.
“Well, this gives me a couple opportunities. To spend time with your girl and also to ask about the passages you used to transport certain goods. I’ll assume you still know some people.”
“I’ll have it done,” Tommy said after a long moment.
“Thomas, I’m not sure I like where this is going. He’s a fucking mess without her.” Alfie said in a low tone.
“That makes two of us,” Tommy answered sternly.
“If I find out this is some big play to get back at me I’ll be sure you all pay a hefty price.”
“Trust me, this is the last thing I want her involved in."
The two men stared at each other for a long while.
“Look, we love our daughter, you love your son. For their sake let’s try to keep things as normal as possible. No business when they are around. Whether things work out or not let's just try to get along like parents would?” Lizzie was starting to feel another bout of morning sickness come on and was desperate to be back upstairs.
“Deal.” Alfie put his hand out and they shook on it.
______________________
Soon enough the Sitting room was packed. You were very amused at Alfie and Noah being thrown into the mix. You sat next to him and you both kept a close eye on Tommy and Alfie leaving to speak in private with the boys every time information came in.
“Do you want to go for a walk with me?” You asked desperate for some fresh air and space to talk freely about what he’d said to Esme.
“Not sure that’s the best idea. Don’t want you to catch a cold.” He looked around the room giving away his actual motive.
“Sit outside on the steps for a bit?” You bargained. Somehow you both managed to slip out unnoticed and went to sit on the steps at the back door. Lots of camps were set up with big fires and people making jokes and laughing.
“So you know about these Changretta folks?” You watched his face closely as he thought about his response.
“Not really my place, love.” He lit a cigarette and avoided your eyes.
“Please? No one will tell me anything.” He let out a sigh and you leaned against his side, he wrapped his arm around you.
“They are an Italian family. Apparently, John killed off a guy for dating Lizzie a while back. Things went back and forth before they had their hands full with other things. Now Luca has come back to avenge his family by taking yours out.”
“And you are involved because of me?” You said weakly.
“Dad’s been trying to expand business in New York for a while now, plus he wants something from Tommy.” His eyes told you it was something else. “Even without that stuff, we’d be here. Not going to leave you alone when I know I can help.” You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. Enjoying the smell of cigarette smoke and the warmth of his hand on your cheek.
“Wait - John killed someone for dating Lizzie? What - wait what do you know about my family?”
“Erm- A fair bit, I suppose.” A dark feeling made itself present in the pit of your stomach. You mentally slapped yourself for not asking these types of questions sooner. You looked at him sprawled on the top stair smoking his cigarette. Revisiting Tommy’s words from the night before about how Alfie had sold them out.
What if you’d just brought the enemy into the house? What if that’s why he’s with you.
“Our families are more friends than they are enemies. I’m not interested in business, your dad worked hard to get his life cleaned up. I respect him for not wanting you to fall into all this.”
“Does that mean you’d leave it behind?” He leaned in closer to you and you suddenly wanted more than anything to kiss him again.
“In a heartbeat.” He kissed your forehead before helping you up.
___________________________________
Tommy sat at the table, a task that was already challenging with his family. Alfie and Noah were an interesting addition. He would never admit it but having them here wasn't as horrible as he thought it would be. Alfie was well-behaved, and for the first time, Tommy got the feeling that perhaps the two of them were getting old.
Most of the dinner was spent harassing the two teens. Noah took on the worst of it.
“Your dad is a right savage. He ever tell you about the time with the Russians? Savage.”
“Alfie,” Tommy warned.
“You should have seen them the whole lot of them acting like animals. We stole -”
“Alfie.” He said more sternly.
“Fine, but what about the time with the bear in the pub - that’s a right classic.”
“Bear in the pub?” Lizzie asked as Tommy finished the last of his drink.
“Nother time I suppose.” He scratched his beard. “Well, what about you love, what are you planning to do after school.”
“I erm - well I was thinking of pursuing accounting. Always jobs for that and I’m good with numbers. I haven't thought about it much.”
“Numbers, I like that. Smart girl, people like us always need clever accountants. Very sharp.” Alfie said cheerfully and Tommy hated how she was eating up his approval.
“If you were to be married -”
“Alfie” Tommy growled earning a laugh from Esme. Arthur looked positively distraught over the concept, reaching for the whisky bottle.
“We can save that for later I suppose. Hmmm well, there was how we first met - do you remember darling?” He looked over at Tommy and it wasn't unnoticed how annoyed he was.
“What if we don't tell stories tonight, eh?” Tommy suggested tensely. Alfie thought about it for a moment before turning to Polly.
“Are you really a gypsy queen? Does that make you sort of famous amongst your people?” He started again and Tommy was suddenly worried that they would run out of whiskey if the snow was actually going to stick for a full week. Esme seemed to find the whole thing hilarious often indulging him with stories and jokes. Tommy was grateful for her ability to keep things civil. Eventually, Arthur was looking slightly pickled and it was well past eleven.
He locked eyes with Polly and she asked a silent question.
Should we keep drinking, or go to bed?
Everyone hated the dining room, this was probably the most time they’d managed to spend in it, but moving to the kitchen was more a family-only type thing. Looking over to Lizzie answered the question well enough. She looked beautiful but exhausted.
“Bout time for bed eh?” Polly announced.
“Guess so. Help me with the stables?” Arthur asked you and you nodded looking slightly surprised. Which meant something was most certainly going on. There was no reason to help with the stables.
“Francis, can you show everyone to their rooms?” Tommy asked easily.
“Of course.” She answered.
Tommy watched as you gave Noah a hug, he whispered something in your ear that made you smile. Then you moved into the entryway to pull your boots on.
“Night.” Tommy nodded at Alfie.
“Night” He nodded back.
After helping Lizzie up to the room he went out the stables to see what the commotion was about. He followed the dark path to the stables.
“No way. No absolutely no. How? I just - you and Lizzie. Does Esme know?!” Your voice called out as he approached the door.
“Well, I’m sure it's been mentioned but let's not bring up the past eh?” John responded looking slightly pale. Tommy leaned against the doorway watching his two brothers attempt to lecture you. John sitting on a bucket as Arthur paced in front of you. You saw him standing there but decided to keep quiet.
“Anyway the point is. Lots of stuff between us and the Solomons eh.” Arthur started
“Can’t trust em” John added
“And trust me. I know exactly what you're thinking. Oooh he’s so handsome and he smokes cigarettes and his hair's all swoopy and he’s got nice muscles. He’s all mysterious and dangerous. Swoon, maybe I could change him.”
“You can't,” John said nodding.
“Absolutely can’t change him.” Arthur continued. “Now he’s here because he’s done business with Tommy. Once he’s gotten what he wants and this mess is cleaned up. He’s going to be on to the next lass.”
“You’ll be devastated.”
“So don't even think about sleeping with him. He’s probably fuck-” Tommy watched your face pinch up similar to the way it had before you fell to the floor the night before.
“That’s enough Arthur.” Tommy interrupted sharply. “I think she understands.”
You nodded hiding away the hurt in your eyes.
“How many random people have you guys killed?” You asked.
“I don’t know about random…” John mumbled
“Are we including the war?” Arthur asked. Tommy thought about the past and wondered if what you’d seen in your life would make you understanding of the choices he’d made.
“Okay so let me get this straight. Lizzie was a wh-prostitute, sleeping with Tommy then John wanted to marry her - but you ruined it - Gace - the Grace was gone, then back, then passed, and then you started sleeping with Lizzie again as her boss - and then you married her when she got pregnant - then got me when Ruby passed?”
“More or less” Tommy shrugged, seemed a bit over the top when it's all laid out like that.
“Wait till she hears about Gretta,” Arthur said quietly.
“And all the others in between-” John added before stopping himself.
“Do you love her?” Your voice was steady, and he knew you well enough to know you were gearing up for a fight.
“Yes.” He answered seriously.
“Promise?”
“Got you so she’d stay.” He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say. “Ruby brought us together, but I think it was meant to be from the start.”
You nodded thinking for a moment.
“Do you think Alfie is here to kill us in our sleep?”
“No, I think Alfie’s here because he wants a piece of New York and wants Changretta out of the way.”
“Do you think Noah’s with me to ruin the family?”
“No. Alfie wouldn't send his son to his dirty work. I’m not sure of his intentions, but I don’t think they are related to the business.”
“So you think he likes me for me?”
“I think teenage boys are awful and cruel. For his sake, he better like you for you. Or we’ll handle it.”
“Either way you won't leave me?” Your eyes narrowed and he could tell it was difficult for you to get the words out.
“Never.”
“No matter how bad I fuck up?”
“Never.” He repeated. “That being said you can sleep in with Lizzie tonight.”
“Was going to sleep with Pol.”
“No.” He answered easily.
“Alright.” You said without fuss surprising him.
“Now is there anything else you both left out?” He looked and John and Arthur.
“Well, we could be out here all night-”
“Let’s not and say we did, eh?
They all piled back into the house and you followed Tommy up the stairs before going back to your room to change.
_________________
After getting ready in your bathroom you noticed that your bedding had already been moved. You slowly made your way to your parent's room down the hall. Getting close to the door you heard them talking.
“Well, how would you know what she thinks of me now?” Lizzie snapped. You decided to make your way in there to break up whatever they were arguing about.
“Probably no different than she’s always thought of you.” He mumbled as you came into the room.
Lizzie gave you a strange look and suddenly you thought back to how Arthur had spoken about her past. You stepped over your cot at the foot of the bed to climb up in between them.
You placed yourself against her side and enjoyed the way she embraced you.
“Are you frightened again?” She whispered, running her hands through your hair.
“No - well I’m not sure. I want to think Noah’s here for the right reasons.”
“I think he is darling. Try not to stress over it.”She placed a kiss on your head and you felt better knowing what she thought.
You considered going back to the floor but to put Tommy at ease you stayed between them dozing off.
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