#and like its okay that it happened and the bottom looked done and the little sooden stick came out coean

[feralchaoschild]

.

[luveline]

Can you write where the reader walks into James room and he's crying and its the first time shes seen him cry so she comforts him pls xx

thank you for your request! fem, 1.2k

James’ house is a sanctuary to everyone he’s ever met. There are scratches on the wall by the door where Sirius has thrown it open, long deep welts of ruin under a drunken hand, two best friends laughing to the bedroom where they share a bed. You’re used to Sirius by now, an extension of James you love and make room for, but waking up to the heir of the most noble family in London sleeping off a hangover with his face buried in your boyfriend's shoulder still surprises you. His snores never change. 

Then there’s Remus, the sweetheart, tracking dirt into the living room because he so often forgets he’s wearing shoes, distracted by a book or a thought he shares in half smiles knowing James will listen. 

You’re everywhere. In photos like the rest of them, in your coat on the hook, your clean washing on the stairs, your shoes in the bedroom cupboard. There’s a red smudge of your lipstick on the wall at the top of the stairs where James wiped your bottom lip and then used the wall to hang over you, kissing. He keeps meaning to paint over it, you know. He says the same thing every time you bring it up, a laughing, “I’ll get to it, you thing!” 

You’re used to smiles and sounds here. You aren’t acquainted with this. Sniffles from the bedroom, long, stringing gulps of air and the answering sob. It makes your chest flip. James hasn’t cried in front of you in a year of dating and two years of knowing him. James doesn’t even get pissed off unless it’s for somebody else. Something awful must’ve happened. You rush to find out what. 

In the bedroom, James is just sitting there falling apart. Just, sat on the bed, his head in his hands and his shoulders shaking like an awful jagged up and down, like he’s hurting; the shock of it is in every inch of movement. James is beautiful in everything, skin and hands and dark, dark hair, but he’s hurting now as he drags fingers wet with tears through frizzing curls. He must have heard you coming up but he can’t stop, lifting his chin, an apology twisted in his mouth that he doesn’t say aloud. 

“Lovely, what happened?” you ask, sure you’re gonna fall through the floor. “What happened? What–”

You aren’t giving him time to answer. You need to know. 

“No, it’s alright–”

“It’s not alright,” you say, standing in front of him with stiff arms. “What happened, James?” 

“It’s okay.” He cries a little, sniffs, looking up at you with swimming eyes. “It’s alright, I’m just– it’s just– well, it’s just everything, I suppose, but it’s…” He looks down, his mouth twisting again in an apology you don’t want to take. He shakes himself. 

“James, what’s everything?” 

“Silly stuff.” James takes your hand. Telling, that a boy who’s spent his entire life looking after the people he loves would attempt to comfort you with tears still hot on his cheeks. 

You look down at his long fingers. 

James plays piano. He learned your favourite song for you before he’d ever asked you out, and when he’d played it for you, he’d played so beautifully you felt sick for days, felt sick every time you thought of him, but in the moment he’d laughed at your teary eyes and pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head. Lovely girl, he’d said, laughing, I won’t play it again if you’re gonna cry like that.

You figure he must want comfort as he gives it, wrapping your arms around him to steer him toward a soft kiss, his hair like strands of satin under your lips. “Nothing that upsets you like this could ever be silly.” 

He pushes you away. Not without love, but pushing away regardless. He stands in the space you leave and wipes his cheeks with the backs of his hands. It’s nearly like he’s dancing. Just the way his arms move. But then he drops them and turns away from you, your heart plummeting to your stomach. 

“James.” 

“It’s not like that. I was hoping I’d be done before you got home. Should we go out for dinner or something?” 

“James–”

“What?” he asks, smiling, at odds with his sad eyes. “Love, it’s really fine, I’m fine.” Love. You let out a long breath, chest a cold ache slowly warmed by his gaze. There’s care for you in every eyelash, but it still shocks you when he hugs you. “It’s okay. Sorry I scared you.” 

James. “Fucking hell, Jamie, I’m not scared, I want you to tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it for you.”

He chokes on breath. “I’m fine,” he says. He doesn’t believe it himself, a crack running straight through his words. “Sorry,” he says, sickly, kissing the top of your head as you’d kissed his. 

Clearly he’s not going to let you be the one domineering the situation, but that’s okay. He can kiss your head and hold you on the edge of too tight. You slip a hand under the edge of his T-shirt to stroke his back, until your hand is numb to it, and he’s sagging against you heavily. 

“You’re really not fine, I can see that much.” 

He’s quiet, but you can tell there’s something he wants to say. 

“But that’s okay,” you say, hand clasping his back . You pat a steady rhythm there as he sighs. “It really is. I don’t know why you think you have to be finished crying before I get home, but that’s not true. You can cry. You can cry buckets. Please don’t pretend you’re not upset because of me, I’d feel so bad.”

Something hot and wet touches your forehead. “M’sorry.” 

“Nothing to be sorry for.” You pull back to pat his cheek. 

James stares at you. Tears well in usually warm eyes and get caught in the wet hedge of his lashes. You try to wipe them away before they can fall —you don’t wanna see your sweetheart crying. 

“Don’t frown,” he says softly. 

“I’m trying not to. Here, let me,” —you wipe his cheeks with your sleeve, voice a muttering thing as his skin pinks beneath your touch— “just get that there for you. Your eyes are red, Jamie, I hope you haven’t been upset for too long.” 

“No, uh. No, not too long.” 

“Can you please tell me what’s wrong? I’d like to know.” 

James’ face presses to your neck in seconds. He pauses, and then he sobs. That’s more like it. You stand there in the bedroom until your legs are stiff, and then you only move to lay him down in bed to be your little spoon. “It's not fine,” you say, your arm around him, the other playing in the swirl of his parting, “but it will be. You’re really too handsome for all these tears.”

“You think I’m handsome?”

He sounds sweet when he’s trying to make you laugh. You reach over him to kiss his hot cheek.  

[martiniluvr]

Okay im tanning and i just got an idea

Outdoor sex with Jason 🙏

Like youre tanning and just relaxing and he just CANNOT stay away. He just lays next to you and slowly moves closer and by the time you know whats happening hes on you 🧎‍♀️

And when he's done he just "just wanted to let you know you forgot your alarm and its time to turn over, couldn't let my girl burn" AHHH

“thank you for the ask leah” we say in unison 🩷 freestyled a lil bit towards the end oop don’t sue. also? this is me pushing my summerboy jason agenda.

18+ minors dni

warnings: sprinkle of exhibitionism 👀

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

he was supposed to be helping you reapply your tanning oil, but somehow jason todd has worked his way between your legs, and now your bikini bottoms are pulled to the side and your ass is bouncing off his thighs as he fucks you languidly in the hot afternoon sun. his movements are unhurried and mellow thanks to the heat, and his hands roam your ass freely, occasionally squeezing the plump flesh between his fingers.

you moan softly into the towel beneath you as he rocks in and out if you with ease, your wetness pooling at the base of his cock and making it glisten in the sun. jason’s green eyes are lidded while he watches your pussy take him almost to the hilt, a lazy smile spreading on his face as you struggle to keep quiet. he knows you’ve only worn this little two-piece around him to get yourself in this position, and he’s more than happy to oblige; even out in the open like this, he can’t resist you.

the sight of you before him is something to behold; your tanning lotion has your skin glowing in the sunlight, and your ass in the air gives him an unobstructed view of your sex leaking around him. there’s a nagging feeling at the back of your minds that you’ll be caught—after all, you’re fucking by the wayne manor pool, and the man of the house could be home any second—but jason is too consumed by the way you feel and the sounds you make to care.

his lower abdomen starts to tense as your moans get louder, and he brings a hand over your mouth despite his orgasm creeping up on him. “shhh, princess,” he rasps, speeding up his thrusts. “want somebody to hear you?” you whine into his palm as his grip on your ass tightens, feeling his cock twitch inside you. his hips falter, and he pulls out of you with a deep groan as hot ropes of cum paint your lower back.

after a moment, he sighs and uncovers your mouth, leaning down to kiss the top of your head as he comes down from his release. your head is spinning as you let your hips drop back onto the chaise, when jason’s voice catches your attention. “turn over for me, ma,” he tells you, using another towel to wipe down his mess on your skin. you look at him, puzzled, and he chuckles as he coaxes you onto your back with his hands on your waist.

“what? don’t want your tan to be uneven,” he says coyly, repositioning himself between your legs. he glances back at the house before bringing his fingers to your tender clit, circling slowly. “jason—” you say, but it sounds more like a moan than a warning. he flicks his eyes back to you and grins.

“just relax,” he coos, sinking his middle finger into your aching cunt as you gasp. “y’don’t wanna get caught, right?”

[princessbrunette]

thinking about bunny being in a slightly difficult mood, grumpy, huffing and stomping her foot around tannyhill. rafe’s trying to let her have her temper tantrum since they’re a rare occurrence. but after a few hours of her sour mood not letting up, he manhandles her rove this lap to put in her bunny plug and finger her till she cries and he’s cooing at her about how “only dad can fix that little attitude huh, bun?”

oh my god??????

(⑅◞ ִ ◟⑅) · ˚ 𓈒 🎀 ྀི 🌸 ♡

he can handle the grumpiness, stomping around in little heels and huffing at minor inconveniences. sour moods never last too long with you, so having to deal with you isn’t exactly something that concerns him. however, he is a little surprised to learn that after a few hours — you’re carrying that same amount of aggression, manicured nails digging into your palm as you storm around with clenched fists, shrugging carelessly to whatever rafe asks you and bottom lip permanently jutted into a pout.

the final straw is when you go to pull your shirt from your dresser where it was folded, tugging a little too hard and hearing a tear. usually, this wouldn’t bother you. you knew deep down that it was no biggie to get something like that fixed, and rafe would never let you walk around with holes in your clothes — but the simple act of it happening sent you over the edge, screaming at the top of your lungs and repeatedly beating the shirt on the dresser, kicking your kitten-heeled feet against the wood of it until the heavy footsteps of your boyfriend had arrived behind you.

“the fuck is —” he cuts himself off, seeing the scene before him, taking in the dramatics before instantly doing what he knew should have done hours ago. in seemingly one quick movement, rafe yanks you by the arm out the way while opening the drawer and pulling out the clean bunny buttplug just waiting for usage. “alright, alright — alright!” he yells over your fussing until it was just broken whines and cries, the boy forcing you over his lap on the bed.

“its broken—” you go to yell once more as rafe yanks up your skirt, but he cuts you off quickly — asserting his dominance in hopes you’ll simply relax.

“lower your voice kid, won’t ask you again.” he commands sternly, and luckily you don’t bother again, sucking in short breaths and sniffling into the bedsheets as he works your panties off completely, knowing you won’t be needing them anymore.

you groan when rafe slots his hand beneath your throat and lifts your head with his grip, bending as much as he can to crane over you and hold the plug to your mouth. “c’mon. get it wet. don’t waste my time.” he taps your bottom lip and you sniffle, drooling until not only the metal was coated but his fingers were too from the run off. “shit, crazy girl.” he tsks as he leans back, touching the tip of it to your puckered hole. “you’re gonna calm the hell down. alright? once this is in you’re gonna chill out. i know you need me to fix that little attitude, okay i know. but you gotta use your words and not freak out on me. daddy can’t help you otherwise. yeah?” he talks to you as he pushes it in, feeling relief in the way your body melts on his lap, still sucking in harsh breaths but slower.

“yeah.” you repeat, knowing you had to say something but your brain was in melting mode, not capable of thinking of much else.

“alright. good. now, look at me — m’gonna ask you something n’i want an answer.” he demands, slowly helping your trembling body to stand between his legs. you clutch his white shirt in your fists, grounding yourself as your tearful eyes flicker over his face. you make a noise of acknowledgment so that he can continue. “what do you want? i— i can’t fix it for you baby ‘cos i don’t know what it is.” he flings out an arm, gesturing the shirt you left strewn on the floor. “is it that? do you want me to look at that? do you need a nap? food?” he shakes his head in exasperation, wide eyes searching yours with parted lips like he was really trying to figure you out.

you sniffle, shuffling on your feet as you stand inbetween his legs, his arm around your lower back keeping you leaning on him — and you’re not saying anything. he blinks, before speaking once more. “its dick. you want dick, huh?”

you didn’t know you did. truthfully, you’d been in a god awful mood all day, feeling like everything was going wrong — and in that moment things became just a little clearer as to why that might be. rafe hadn’t fucked you all week, you’d been out and about doing your own things — which is normal and okay in every relationship — just not in yours. you needed rafe to remind you who’s boss, because you didn’t wanna have to think anymore.

“please.” you nod, fiddling with his shirt button and the hand around your back slides down to beneath your skirt, tugging at the tail before massaging his fingers over your empty hole, feeling the way it gets sticky around him.

“hm. i should’a known.” he drawls, eyeing over you before plucking at your clothes. “gotta take this off, yeah? lemme see you.”

(⑅◞ ִ ◟⑅) · ˚ 𓈒 🎀 ྀི 🌸 ♡

[d3vilcvntz]

~•☆ sub bottom afab leon × top male reader

you were assigned as his partner in his new mission of saving the president's daughter. he never talks much, never really paying attention to you unless needed, maybe because you were a new cop, not really skilled in doing these kind of jobs like him.

though, he did warm up slowly after a few hours of being together. a little chit chat to keep yourself sane

this whole situation is not really unusual for you as the zombies apocalypse has been going on for years, but actually involving yourself to save someone so important is something you never done in your life before so it was a little nerve-wracking for you.

you were a bit relieved that at least someone as skilled as him is assigned with you so you wouldn't get yourself killed. the way he fought those monsters is very fascinating for you, you know your way around weapons but not as good as him.

though, he found out that the virus has been inside him and he need to find the cure quickly before he turns into one of those things. you were panicking because you're sure that you won't survive alone if anything happens to him.

it was a relieved when you met a nice stranger who said he have the cure for it, and quickly you bought it and bring it to Leon, who was waiting for you in the nearby cabin

you're not even sure how it comes to this but all you remembered is you coming back bringing him the medicine. he was so cute in this state that you can't help yourself.

you both ended up on the floor with you laying on the cold hard wood and him on top of you. clothes already discarded nearby.

you looked at him, his face flushed from the heat "are u sure you're okay?" you decided to asked him, brushing his hair to the side so you can get a good look at his face. he quickly nodded, slowly lowering himself, your cock slowly making its way in his hole

he rode you slowly, you can clearly see how his pussy swallowed your cock hungrily. he was quite vocal too, you were glad that you chose a place that was far from the village

you're getting close and you can tell he is too by his pussy squeezing you so tightly. who knows that he's a squirter too? you didn't had the time to properly react before he squirted all over your cock. you quickly came inside him after that, the sight of him losing his composure is so hot for you and you didn't know why. he went limp in your arms after both of you came, your arms wrapped around his waist, hugging him close

you slowly pull out of him, cum dripping out from his pussy "fuck" you whispered to yourself after seeing the sight infront of you,, too bad that you had to control yourself as he already passed out.

you definitely want to get assigned with him again in the future ♡

~ short fics lol

[phone4pills]

HUSHED RELIEF taken!chris x sneakylink!reader

𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒐 — Chris’ erection is undeniable. his girlfriend is asleep next to him but he needs you, so he makes a phone call, taking the risk for the return of his own pleasure.

specific type — smut

side effects — sexting/phone sex, cheating, kinda public, masturbation

Fuck it. He was desperate, shuffling about in the bed, trying to ignore the ache in his pants. Chris knew it was risky, his girlfriend next to him. But she could’ve give him what he wanted then and there. So he grabbed his phone off the nightstand and pressed that app. That trap. Scrolling quickly to your contact.

God, he hoped you answer the phone. Yes it was 1 am. Yes you had better things to be doing, like sleeping. But this was the one time its happen. Chris couldn’t stand not knowing what kind of relief he could’ve experienced if you just gave him what eh wanted. A minute or so later, you picked up the call, irritation laced in your hum. “What?”

You knew not to speak to Chris like that, but it was rhetorical middle of the night and he was calling you. If you’d done the same, he’d silence your calls for a week at least to teach you a lesson about interrupting quality time with his girl. And here you were, giving him exactly what he wanted.

Chris whispered back to you “Need help. My dick hurts.” You rolled your eyes, hoping that he could somehow tell over the phone how annoyed you were. Then you came to the realisation that it was a good way to get some control over him. You chuckled to yourself, planning what you were going to say in your head.

“Okay… you’re already comfy so, lift your shirt a little for me. Close your eyes and imagine me leaving small kisses around your stomach, humming, praising your body. So well-made, yeah?” Your words were laced with a sly undertone. Chris didn’t mind though, he was too focused on trying to fabricate the feeling your lips on his skin. Warm, soft and slightly wet.

“Move that hand downwards, look at that tent. So big already. Caress it nice and slow. But don’t touch that waistband, be patient.” Chris moved his hand downwards, palming desperately at the clothed erection that had been causing the ache. His breath grew heavier as you dragged the pleasure out more and more. He was tempted to disregard your instructions and just please himself already. But what was the point? It would only mean he wouldn’t get to hear your voice as long. And he loved your voice, more than he wanted to admit.

“Fuck, please…” You chuckled, tutting before you gave your next instruction. “Okay, Chris, slowly pull ‘em down.” When. This removed his bottoms, there was already a small patch of precum on his boxers, just above the bulge that had formed, bigger than he seen in a while. “Hmm, look at that wetness. You really want some relief, huh?” You teased through the device. How did you know? Who was Chris kidding, of course you knew. You knew what your voice did to him. You knew what the mere thought of you did to him.

“Shit—hurts ma, wish you were here.” He remarked in a low tone, fingers aching to rub it out. You had an idea. Quickly pulling up your top and snapping a pic, you sent Chris a picture. He opened the messages app to be met with a glimpse of your chest, surrounded by the darkness in your room. Chris bit his lip, hips bucking up. “Don’t do this to me, baby. Don’t do this.” Chris rasped, voice breaking.

Within the next few minutes, you’d sent more and more pictures, even going as far as to send him a picture that Chris himself had taken of you being so generous as you suck his dick. And now they were all in his face. And he couldn’t do anything about it. Only lay still and feel his hardness press against the warm confines of his boxers. After pleading quietly to you multiple times, you finally gave in. “Touch yourself, Chris. Make yourself feel good for me.”

Eagerly, Chris pulled his hard-on out of his plaid pants, beginning to stroke up and down the length. The pictures of you, so pretty, so full, lay plastered on his mind as he panted. Each stroke turned his tip redder and redder. It had already been angry, struggling against the fabric that previously held it down to his body, but now his length was free, being pleasure in the breeze of the dark room at night.

“Good job, look how big it is.” The boy’s head fell back against the headboard, tongue grazing over his lower lips as he neared the release that’s he’d been anticipating for so long. Suddenly, his dick began to pulse, getting more and more tight until it was pumping out white liquid all over his thighs. “Keep going Chris, don’t you dare stop there.”

It was all becoming a lot for the boy. His brain was too foggy to control the relentless movements of his hand. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Chris hissed, eyes rolling back into his head. You hummed over the phone, praising him, leading him further and further. Soon enough, he was cumming again with a strangled groan.

Suddenly, there was a small movement on the bed beside him. Chris’ girlfriend sighed, her head lifting off the pillow for a second. Quickly, he kissed the back of her shoulder, shushing her so she’d go back to sleep. Then he hung up, not even bothering to thank you for assisting with easing his tension.

Chris got out of bed, taking a few minutes to clean off in the bathroom before returning to the bed. She had now turned slightly to lay on her back, facing the ceiling. The boy sank down on warm mattress once again, cashing her to shuffle over and lay her head on his chest. Chris kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes with a low whisper. “Goodnight, babe.”

HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THAT. Sorry to Chris’ girlfriend though, poor bitch doesn’t know wheats going on. And fuck you guys for being home wreckers. But honestly… me too. Also don’t actually participate in this shit it’s messed up.

- ©phone4pills

[cameronspecial]

My Particular Girl

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.7K

Summary: Y/N needs things to be done a certain way and Rafe understands that.

Masterlist

Y/N likes things done in a particular. It’s the way her brain works. People often look at her and call her childish for the things she does to cater to these needs. Because of those people, she started to believe that she had no chance of finding love. Who would want to date someone who was so picky with the things are? Then Rafe came along to show her she doesn’t need to change; instead, it is the partner who should try to be open-minded and help her out. And Rafe really does try to do everything he can to help Y/N out. 

———

Y/N sits with her little cousins in the living room, listening to them recount the story behind the drawings they are currently working on. She doesn’t know where Rafe went off too, but if she knows anything about him, he is probably off trying to win brownie points with her relatives. “And this is going to be us when you and Rafe take us to the beach,” Sophie recounts, holding up the picture. Y/N’s mouth drops open, “Wow, that looks amazing.” “We look like we are having so much fun,” Rafe adds, kissing Y/N’s temple from behind the couch. She stretches her head back to see Rafe. He is holding two plates in his hands and he rounds the couch to sit beside his girlfriend. He holds out a plate for her. She notices that her plate is different from his. It is one of the special sectioned plates from their home. He catches her examining eyes and worries he got something wrong. “Did I do something wrong? Each component is in its place. I separated the mashed potatoes, the steak and the vegetables,” he starts to tangent. “Should I have separated the mixed veggies too? I knew I should’ve separated them. I know you like to be able to identify the different textures easily.” 

Her hands stop him from rising to fix what he thinks is a mistake. “No, it’s okay. You got everything right. I was just surprised you brought one of my plates. Thank you,” she reassures him, giving him a kiss. He wraps his arm around her shoulder and starts eating, “You’re welcome. I’m glad I got it right.” 

———

They knock on the door but don’t wait for it to be opened by someone inside before entering the unlocked house. “Yo, Top. We’re here,” Rafe announces with a booming voice. It’s just a little get-together so the couple takes their shoes off. Right as they are about to step deeper into the house, Y/N sees the carpeted floor of the house. She can already feel the uncomfortableness of the rug tickling the bottom of her feet and she flinches at the thought. Rafe gently holds her back by her shoulder, “Wait here, I have to get something from the car.” She waits for him at the entrance, preparing herself to walk barefoot on the rug. He jogs back inside and places something on the ground. Her eyes dart down to see slippers. “Where did you get these?” she questions while putting them on. He kisses her on the cheek, “I bought new slippers to keep in the back of my trunk for this exact reason.” Warmth fills Y/N and she wraps her arms around his neck. “Thank you.”

———

Y/N rests on the couch and watches as Rafe folds the laundry. Each article of clothing is folded exactly how she likes it with crisp edges. While she appreciates how attentive he is, worry starts to creep inside of her. What if he starts to realize that all the things he does to keep things to her taste are a waste of time? What if he starts to think she is too high-maintenance? He can see the gears turning in her head. “What’s wrong, Sweetheart?” he asks, leaning over to kiss her. She bows her head, “What if you break up with me because you get tired of having to do things a certain way for me like I am a child?” Rafe places what he is folding down and moves to the same couch as her. He brings her into a hug, attacking her face with kisses. “That would never happen because I love taking care of you. You are my particular girl and I would not trade you for anything in the world,” he promises. 

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @victory-in-the-llama @starkowswife @drewsmusee @maybankslover

[satorusugurugurl]

That angst fic 😵‍💫😵‍💫 got me thinking, what about a similar smut fic where when reader is stressed and overworked the boys try to be gentle and caring but all she wants is to be rough fucked, degraded, the works. She has to plead with them but they eventually cave. But once they are done it’s back to soft and sweet aftercare. So basically, open masochist reader :3 I could also lowkey imagine reader being insecure about wanting it to be rough and mean, I see so much stuff of people demonizing it on social media, definitely makes it something that is difficult to be open about. I think a lot of ppl also get it confused with CNC which is not the same thing. Consent and safety are what matters

-🍭

Salty and Sweet

Characters: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, FAB!Reader

Warning content: smut, dirty talk, vulgar language, , Satoru is a bit hesitant

Word Count: 1,680

A/N: Anon, you have inspired me. This is a little blurb of what I could see happening in a case like this! I’m working on Escort!Gojo and another request! I was hoping to have that request done tonight (but it’s taken a life of its own) I try to post once a day, but I’ve been working ten-hour days for the last two weeks, so I’m exhausted. 😵‍💫

Your boyfriends watched as you paced back and forth, arms crossed as you chewed on your bottom lip. You had mentioned wanting to talk to them about trying something new, but you seemed to be hesitant and struggling to find the right words. If they were being honest, it was almost cute seeing you struggle to voice what you wanted. The timid, innocent side of you was so adorable the duo wanted to smother you with kisses and cuddles.

“I don’t know if I can say it!” You yelled out, tilting your head back with a groan.

Suguru smiled, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “You can tell us anything, Y/N. Trust me, this is a safe space.” While his words were comforting, you still found yourself hesitant to voice your wants.

“Suguru’s right. There’s only one way to know if we’re okay with what you want us to try.” Satoru added, leaning back against the couch with a yawn.

“I know! I know!” Your flustered tension was shifting into more frustration. “I just don’t want you to, ya know, think that I’m some deviant.”

Satoru and Suguru shared a look; their years of friendship always came out in times like these; they both held hands in front of their mouth before leaning in close to each other. Their voices dropped maybe a tone as they fake whispered to each other.

“Do you wanna tell her or me?”

“You tell her that being in a poly-relationship is pretty deviant.”

“Oh yeah, for sure!”

Satoru’s head jerked in your direction with a devious smirk. “Hey, you kno—“ Satoru smacked his lips together the instant he saw how flushed you were, how you hugged yourself as tight as you could while you watched them in mortification. “Y/N, hey, no, it’s okay.” The duo stood from their spots on the couch, their stomachs dropping as you dropped your head, focusing on the ground.

Whatever it was that you wanted to try had you twisted in knots of unease and shyness. “Please, for once, can you guys take me seriously.” The room was like being in the eye of a hurricane before it hit. “This is hard for me to say because many people misinterpret what I wanted in the past. I don’t want to scare you guys off or have you look at me any differently.” Suguru put a reassuring hand on your back, gently rubbing it up and down, encouraging you to continue while Satoru gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Sorry, please tell us.”

“Yeah, we won’t look at you any differently.”

A bitter scoff escaped the back of your throat. “You say that now, but so many people in the past demonized what I wanted and got it confused with different kinks.”

“Y/N, come on, babe, just tell us.”

With a deep breath, you sighed with a nod. “Okay, just promise you’ll at least consider what I’m asking. You can take as much time as you need.” Both your boyfriends nodded in understanding. Fuck, your hands were clammy as you shook them out. Now was the time. “I-I want you both to be mean to me in bed.” You blurted out.

You waited for the worst reactions. Like them pulling away from you in disgust, asking a million questions, or wanting to comply with your desires. Which was fine. They were not required to do what you wanted in bed.

Neither of them did anything close to that. They just hummed, watching you, waiting for you to continue like they wanted you to specify what that meant. What you wanted, how you wanted it, when you longed for this to occur. You were waiting a second more for your glance up between your dark-haired boyfriend before your gaze drifted to Satoru.

“Okay, so, I was hoping maybe we could have really rough sex? Maybe you could degrade me, be a little nastier?”

Gojo’s beautiful ivory skin was dusted with a faint blush, his eyes leaving you before focusing on Suguru. “I don’t have much experience in that; could you give me some pointers, Suguru?” Suguru didn’t need to answer because one second you were standing between them, and the next you were over his shoulder with Gojo trailing behind like a puppy.

Minutes passed, or maybe it had been hours. It was hard to tell with all the oxytocin and dopamine that flooded your brain. Your wants and needs were finally embraced for the first time. Suguru took the lead, and fuck Satoru was right. Suguru did have pointers for him.

“Oooh~ you nasty fucking slut.” Suguru degraded his hands wrapped in your hair, forcing you to choke on Satoru’s cock. “Taking two cocks at once like a dirty nasty fucking whore.”

”S-Suguru, do you have to be so mean?” Satoru was struggling a bit more to really get into the whole degrading you thing. He wasn't uncomfortable with it, more so that he wasn’t sure how to do it. He needed practice to ease himself out of the role as a soft dom and more into a hard, demanding dom.

Suguru cocked a dark eyebrow up at his boyfriend as his cock slammed in and out of your dripping pussy. “Mean?” He pulled your hair lifting you off Satoru’s cock. “I’m not being mean in the slightest. Look at our dirty slut.” Following Suguru’s demands, Satoru looked down at you, his cock twitching as you both made eye contact.

You were a drooling mess. Eyes rolled back into your head as Suguru snapped his hips forward, causing a yelp to rise from your throat. Your hair was a disheveled mess, tears were staining your cheeks, and goddamn, you looked like you were having so much fucking fun.

“M-More~” you begged, tongue lolling out as Suguru pucked up the pace of his thrusts. “M-More, please!”

”Oh, Oh!” Suguru smirked, releasing your hair, causing your head to drop into Satoru’s bare lap. “You heard her, Satoru, the greedy little whore wants more.”

“Yeah?” Satoru gently stroked strands of hair out of your face as you struggled to keep your head up. “You want a more sweet girl?”

”Y-Yeah, I do.”

Satoru needed some form of guidance, so he looked up to his best friend. His dark hair pulled over his right shoulder, his dark eyes transfixed on your head. “Go on, Satoru, give her what she wants.” The way Suguru purred Satoru’s name had you both shivering.

”Okay, okay,” Satoru gently pulled your hair, “you’re going to suck my cock like a good girl, aren’t you?”

”Y-Yes Satoru, I’ll suck it for you, I’ll suck it, so go—oooh!!” Suguru slapped Satoru’s hand away. ”Naggh! Ah fuck S-Sugu!”

”You’re doing it all wrong, you himbo.” Satoru gritted his teeth as Suguru forced your mouth down onto his cock again. “She wants you to be fucking mean. Trust me. I feel her slutty fucking cunt clenching around me. She loves this, don’t you, Y/N?” All you could do was hum in response, deepthroating Satru breathing through your nose. “Look at her, being a greedy fucking whore, getting all her holes filled at once.”

Between the warmth of your mouth and the tears in your eyes, Satoru’s balls tightened, his ab’s flexing as he gently began fucking into your mouth. “Fucking slut.” Satoru’s words had you whimpering around him, and you bobbed your head faster, eager for him to degrade you more.

”That’s more like it, Satoru!” Suguru grinned, his free hand reaching down, rubbing your cit in fast circles. “Keep talking to her like that. She’s getting so close.”

You mumbled in agreement, only to have your words choked off by the fat cock forcing its way further down your throat. “What was that? You want to cum bitch?” You could only gag. “Ah, sorry, it’s hard to hear you when you're gagging on my cock.”

You gagged, cried, and trembled as both men fucked into you ruthlessly, your walls clamped down, eyes rolling back as you clutched the sheets so hard you were surprised that they didn’t rip as your orgasm hit you. It was so intense, wave after wave of pleasure! You moaned and gagged around Satoru’s cock; the white-haired man let out a whimper as he fucking his cum down your throat, biting his lip as your tight cunt hugged Suguru so tight you fell against you back, rutting into you like some animal in rut.

“Oh fuck princess, oh fuck, you want all my cum~? Hm? Then take it!” With one final deep thrust, Suguru came inside your still-twitching cunt. “Oooh fucking hell! That’s it, milk me bitch, milk me for all I got!” It was somewhere in between that moment that Gojo gently pulled you off his sensitive cock. “H-Haah shit baby.”

“S-She felt so good.”

This was heaven. You were in heaven with your boyfriends. You felt so satisfied, so normal, and thankful as the two of them were not at all shaming you for your kinks. God, thinking about all of the nasty little things they would say and do to you from now on turned you on.

“Felt good?” you panted roughly as Suguru smirked. “you honestly thought this skank would be content with one orgasm? No, we're nowhere near being done, are we, princess?” You were lifted with ease by Suguru as he planted you directly in Satoru’s lap. “Let’s continue, shall we?” His cock brushed over your bottom lip. “Safeword is pineapple.”

[notjustjavierpena]

Tension

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: Back in November, I posted a fic where @nerdieforpedro wrote a comment in their tags that said ‘I need you to crack my back, sir’. This is stupid but it stuck with me, so here you go. I suppose it’s also my own way of saying that I see everything you all write about my stuff. I love y’all.

Summary: Your husband cracks your back when you come home from work. Also, you are trying for a baby.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18 smut, back-cracking, massages, a good girl, fingering, dirty talk, hard and fast piv sex, javier whimpering is its own warning, clit stim, breeding kink, creampie, they’re in loooove

Word count: 2k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54705589

Tension

You drag yourself into the living room where Javier is currently napping on the couch, arms crossed over his chest and chin pointing downward. He looks peaceful but the tension in your back is enough to disturb him from his slumber and not feel bad about it.

You bend down over him, gently shaking him.

“Javi,” you call softly. It takes you three tries before he stirs, opening his eyes with a little confusion as he tries to figure out where he is. 

“What is it, baby?” His voice is slightly raspy from sleep. You smile apologetically.

“I need you to crack my back,” you say. 

You don’t know how it happened but it feels like something is pinched, probably from an awkward position during the night or even during other activities. You have tried to relieve the tension all day by twisting your body from side to side but to no avail.

“What?” He grabs the back of the couch to pull himself into a sitting position. You take a step back.

“I think something’s… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating. I’m tense as hell,” you explain, turning your back to him to try and point to the spot that’s been aching since you got into work in the morning, “It’s right here. Between the shoulder blades.”

“Right,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, inhales deeply, and breaks into a yawn, “Take your top off and lie down on the floor.”

You do as he says, smiling a little to yourself as you hear the groan that he makes when getting up from the couch. Perhaps you should return the favor. You lay down on the floorboards of the apartment, flat on your stomach, face turning to the side, and your arms along your sides. 

Another grunt is heard as Javier gets down on the ground with you. He places a knee on either side of your thighs, hovering above your legs, and then he takes a hold of the hem of your pants, “Okay if I pull them down a bit? Then I can do the whole spine.”

“Go ahead.”

Javier yanks down your bottoms, turning them into something that resembles low-rise style. He then heats up his hands by rubbing them together, “How rough can I be?”

“Can’t believe we’re doing something that requires you to ask that and it isn’t sex,” you wiggle your hips a bit but then wince as pain shoots through your body again.

“Answer the fucking question,” he says with a roll of his eyes, smiling but impatient.

“Don’t hold back.”

Javier’s now-warm palms settle on your back. You sigh softly at the feeling of him touching your skin so carefully, treating you like something delicate until you feel him place one hand on top of his other to center the pressure right between your shoulders. He pushes down and you exhale sharply.

Crack.

You moan in relief. Endorphins flood your system. 

“That was so nice, baby,” you praise, “Thank you.”

“I’m not done,” Javier kisses you right where he has just relieved the tension. Then he moves down and does it again.

Another crack is heard. You curl your toes, eyes fluttering closed as another wave of feel-good hormones begins to flow through your system. 

“Good girl,” Javier compliments, and you don’t have to ask if he is smirking because it’s evident from the tone of his voice as he sees the shiver that creeps up your neck, “More?”

“Please.”

So he does it again.

And again.

And again.

Until you feel like putty underneath his touch. You want to say something but with each skim of his fingers, each rough push of his entire body’s weight, you only manage to groan in pleasure. 

Above you, Javier has gone quiet but his breathing has turned more erratic. He has switched from cracking your back to massaging your sore muscles instead, kneading along your sides whilst you reward him with small sighs and moans of satisfaction as well as gratitude. 

You shiver as he presses his thumbs into the place where your neck meets your shoulders, holding it for a while before dragging his whole palms outwards. It feels good, almost like an embrace.

He repeats the move until you feel sweat starting to break out on your skin from how warm his hands are. A moan escapes your mouth, the same kind that you usually make when he kisses your neck. 

“You like that?” He asks in a tone that you know too well. You nod. He does it again but goes closer to your neck this time, fingers skimming along your pulse point.

Something in the atmosphere shifts after that. 

Soon, he descends on your body, going achingly slow as he searches out his goal. He ends up digging two thumbs into the very top of your ass. He isn’t downright groping you but there’s a hesitation each time he pushes into the plump flesh there. Teasingly, you push up into his hands.

“You’re so sexy like this,” he mutters and you can hear him move on the floor, crawling backward so he can kiss the small of your back when he leans down. 

“With a sore back?” You snort to hide how excited this is making you, a dull ache settling between your thighs.

“In any way,” he clarifies. He doesn’t even hesitate when he starts pulling down both your pants and your underwear, and you don’t protest but instead lift your hips to help him yank them down until they sit around your ankles. 

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath as he dips a finger inside of you, pushing down towards your stomach to make you squirm on the floor. You whimper. He makes a come-hither motion to rub against your g-spot and you immediately move your arms forward to grab at the ground. Your cunt squelches and Javier swears again, “You’re soaked.”

“Of course, I am, was so fucking good the way you were touching me, and… I’m like a damn clock with being wet for you when I ovulate,” you moan, pushing back against his hand. He groans at the realization of what time of the month it is. He gets to put a baby in you.

His fingers work you open, teasing you towards an orgasm by doing exactly what he knows gets you there quickly. The sounds of your wetness are obscene, only getting more lewd when you come right there on the floor with your pants around your thighs. 

“Baby, shit, more,” you pant with a desperate whine, clenching around Javier’s digits as they continue rubbing against your front wall even though your orgasm has long subsided. He doesn’t relent but you don’t mind, relishing in the pressure inside of your cunt. It’s good but it’s not his cock, “Fuck me, baby. Please, I— I need you in me.”

You hear the sound of a belt buckle being undone and then the shuffle of denim being pulled down. You look over your shoulder to find him with his jeans sitting around his knees, too desperate himself to get fully undressed. 

“Eyes forward,” he commands you and ignores his own desire until you do as you are told. You hold onto the floorboards with flat hands, only spreading your legs slightly to make him as tight a fit inside of you as possible. 

His whole weight crushes you so heavenly in the next moment, and his generous length sheaths itself in the warm embrace of your soaked walls with ease until he bottoms out. Your face screws up with the intensity especially because he leans down over you to groan hotly into your ear. 

“Love this little pussy,” he moans as you both adjust to being connected like this. He rests a forearm beside your head, biting into your shoulder and soothing the mark with his wet tongue. It drives you insane that he is not moving inside of you yet, and he seems to know with how he taunts you, “Want me to fuck her silly?”

“Javi,” you whimper and nod frantically, “I’ll come so good for you, milk your big cock with my pussy. Please, baby.” 

“I bet you will, mi chica sucía (my dirty girl),” he answers before giving you exactly what you want; the first roll of his hips makes your mind go blank, even moreso when he starts fucking you into the floor like an animal. 

His legs frame yours, his pelvis crashes into the plump flesh of your ass with a dirty smack each time, and he is burning hot against your back. You won’t last long with him reaching so deep inside of you, the thick head of his stiff cock sliding over your g-spot like his fingers had earlier. Each nudge makes your cunt suck him further in, and he starts panting above you with the effort he puts into fucking you. It doesn’t even occur to you that your knees are aching when he has you like this. 

“Please,” you beg without exactly knowing what you want from him; everything he is giving you has you dizzy with lust. You tense up as your orgasm approaches with rapid motions, and he goes even harder now that you don’t fly forwards with the slamming of his body into yours, “Gonna come— I’m… oh, I’m coming, fuck, baby, I’m coming!”

“I can feel you,” he growls and barely moves inside of you anymore, having replaced it with grinding against you to not miss a single pulse of your spasming, peaking cunt. You writhe underneath him, and he treats you to a messy kiss as one of his hands comes up to cup your chin so he can turn your head. 

“Come in me, please, baby, need your babies in me,” you cry against his mouth with furrowed eyebrows. He whimpers at your request, faltering in his rhythm for the first time since he started fucking you. 

“I’ll make you come so hard again, mi amor (my love), want you to spasm around my dick,” he stutters a bit when he speaks. The hand on your chin slips down your body and then underneath it too, his flat palm against your pelvis until he presses up into it to angle your hips. You stay in this new position, back arched to perfection - dopamine in your body making you forget the ache - so he can stab at your g-spot and follow it up by rubbing your needy clit with no buildup. 

The neighbors are bound to hear you screaming as you come again a minute later. The clenching shocks of pleasure are mind-altering and enough for Javier to finish alongside you, spreading his warm seed inside of you with a desperate groan. 

You both collapse with him still buried in you. Your clothes are sticky with how much you have sweated, your knees ache with reality slowly coming back, and your body feels warm and sated despite it all. 

“Let’s just lie here for a while,” you say and reach behind you to grab at him as he starts to remove himself from you, “I think this was it. I know it sounds stupid but—“

“Nothing you say sounds stupid, mi amor (my love),” he still breathes hard, brushing your hair away to kiss your neck, “Love making babies with you.” 

You make a noise of agreement. Then you rest your cheek against the floor whilst he nibbles on your neck, humming softly at the feeling of it combined with the lingering pressure of him in your cunt when he finally slips out. 

“Te quiero tanto (I love you so much),” you say with closed eyes and a satisfied smile. 

“Love you too, baby,” he says back and you can hear the smile in his voice. 

.

.

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[harrywavycurly]

It would be fun to see a moment in time when the Lonely couple were bffs but just a little too comfy with each other or maybe one of the times they kissed while besties?

Hiii lovey!! Ohh okay so I just combined these and gave you a little look at a moment between them when they were so comfortable they ended up smooching😂 I hope you enjoy!💖

-find all things Lonely here✨

TW: None

A/N: Harry comes over for coffee and cuddles during some time off during the One Direction days, enjoy some fluff and bickering between besties✨

“Are you saying you didn’t like them?” You question with a hint of annoyance in your voice as you look at your bestfriend who is currently standing in your kitchen licking the last bits of icing from a cinnamon roll off his thumb. “Because if that’s so then next time you make breakfast Mr. Baker.” You tease making him shoot you a glare as you get comfortable on the couch.

“Now that’s not what I said and you know it.” He tries to explain while he looks over at you as he puts his plate into the sink, you just let out a huff while tossing your throw blanket over yourself. “I just said that next time maybe you can try adding-”

“Telling me to add more icing next time is just your way of telling me you thought they were too dry.” Harry has to stop himself from rolling his eyes at you because he doesn’t even know how you got that from his simple suggestion but he also knows there’s a big possibility you’re just messing with him. He takes a moment to watch you wiggle yourself deeper into the pillowy cushion behind your back, your legs stretched out allowing your feet to rest on the ottoman you pulled over to your side of the couch and he feels a smile creep its way onto his face because you just look so cozy even when you’re fussing at him.

Harry had texted you late last night that he was going to be home for a few days instantly earning him an invitation to coffee and some cuddles to which he told you he would be there bright and early to take you up on your invitation. And while the other members of One Direction opted to spend their time off doing god knows what, Harry always made a point to make sure you were one of his first stops if not the first since you live decently close to where he stays in L.A. But one thing he knows about you is that when he’s gone for too long you seem to always be a bit more snarky and sassy with him the first few hours he’s back, so you making an argument out of this doesn’t shock him at all and he knows just the way to get you to stop talking about it.

“And now that I think about it I don’t even remember inviting you over for breakfast?” You point out as you look over at Harry who just rolls his eyes as he walks around your kitchen island and heads straight towards where you’re sitting on the couch. “I remember telling you to come over for coffee and cuddles but-” your words are caught in your throat as Harry leans over and places a hand on the side of your face before his lips are on yours in a quick kiss that leaves you with a light pout on your face when he pulls away.

"So what you're really saying is we need to get to the cuddling part yeah?" He asks with a teasing smile as his bright green eyes stare into yours. "Oh enough with this." You feel his thumb gently brush over your bottom lip. "Now are you done with all the dramatics or do you need me to-" this time Harry is the one who's sentence is cut short by the feeling of your lips on his in a quick kiss that makes his hand fall from your face when you pull away leaving him with red cheeks and slightly wide eyes.

"I'm not being dramatic Harry you're the one who called my cinnamon rolls dry." You ignore his scoff and what you take as almost a look of defeat when you bring up the cinnamon rolls again and that’s how you become aware that his kiss was a silly little attempt to get you to stop talking about it.

Harry kissing you isn’t something that’s new for the two of you, now you wouldn’t say it happens all the time but it has happened before and you’re sure it’ll happen again because when it comes to you, Harry isn’t afraid to be extremely handsy considering when you first met the two of you were fully ready to go to bed together but your poor choices in alcohol had other ideas in mind for that night. But normally you’re not the one initiating the kisses or the physical touches outside of hand holding and hugs, that’s all Harry and it’s usually because he can just sense when you need to be grabbed and pulled into his chest or when you need a firm squeeze of his hand that’s wrapped around yours. So you know the main reason for his slightly shocked and a bit annoyed expression is when he realizes his plan to kiss the idea of him calling your baked goods dry not only didn’t work but somehow got turned around on him so you had to be the one to kiss him to get him to stop talking.

"You can't just shut me up with a kiss that's a bit rude."

"Excuse me? That's exactly what you just did to me so sit down and cuddle me before I kick you out."

"That's because you keep saying I called your cinnamon rolls dry and I didn't. All I said was next time I'd use more icing," Harry sits down next to you and immediately the two of you get into your normal position, his arm is wraps around your shoulders and he's sat close enough to you that your thighs are touching allowing you to share your throw blanket with him as his feet rest on the ottoman. "I'm not sure how you think adding more icing to them would make them less dry? That doesn't even make sense." He mumbles as you rest your head on his shoulder while scrolling on Netflix for something to watch.

"Less dry? So you're saying the ones you ate today were dry?" You try to hide your playful teasing tone but you know Harry catches it by the way you feel a pinch to your side making you let out a squeal.

"I know you're only acting like this because you missed me." Harry acts like he doesn’t notice the small sigh that leaves you or how you lean even further into him as his words hit your ears, the two of you have been friends long enough to know it’s the truth so you don’t have to even try to argue with him about it. “I missed you too love.” He admits with a smile as he reaches over and grabs your hand so he can give it a squeeze.

“You love me don’t you?” You ask as you mindlessly begin to play with Harry’s fingers, he just chuckles at your question because of course he does you’ve been his bestfriend for years now and sometimes he truly doesn’t know how he survives away from you for so long but the texts and FaceTime calls make due when he can’t convince you to let him fly you out to a show or he can’t sneak off for a few days to visit.

“This feels like a set up for a favor of some sort.” You laugh as you lift your head so you can look up at him and when he looks down at you with a grin that shows off his dimples you have to fight the urge to kiss him again. “What do you want?” He asks with a smirk and you think for a moment he’s going to lean down and put his lips to yours but he just places them to your forehead for a brief moment before pulling away so he can look you in the eyes while he waits for you to ask for whatever it is you want.

“I left my coffee in the kitchen.” Harry lets out a dramatic groan as he unwraps himself from you and flings the throw blanket off his legs. “This is why you’re my favorite and I love you the most.” You shout as you watch him make his way into your kitchen to grab your coffee cup.

“Yeah yeah I love you too.”

[hazbinwhoree]

Hello !!<3 I've been reading your works and I adore your writing style and how you write Adam. I was wondering if you could do Adam x m!reader smut where its his first time with a guy? I'd imagine he would be awkward but still act overly confident lol (also maybe some wing stuff? :3)

Cocky Bastard

“Have you ever done it with a guy?” (Name) asks. “No… but I’ll still be great at it because I’m the motherfucking Dickmaster. Plus it’s just another hole.” (Name) rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Beautifully put, Adam, thank you.”

They were in Adam’s bedroom, which was surprisingly neat (Name) had noticed. They stood on opposite sides of the bed, looking at one another.

(Name) sighed, rolling his eyes. “Alright, Dickmaster, show me what you’ve got.” Adam looked unsure for a brief moment before he plastered a grin on his face. “Come here.”

(Name) does, rounding the bed to Adam’s side and yelping when he picked him up and threw him on the bed. Adam crawled on top of him but then faltered, not knowing what to do next. (Name) took pity on him and pulled him down for a kiss.

Making out, yeah, Adam was good at that. Adam was familiar with that.

Until he felt (Name)’s erection pressing against his thigh. He kind of short-circuited, freezing. “Isss everything okay?” (Name) asked, slightly concerned. Adam nodded. “Yup. Fantastic.”

“You know, we could pause and I can explain things to you if you have any questions or concerns–” “NOPE.” Adam was determined to prove he knew what he was doing. He’d be damned if he didn’t please (Name) by the end of the night.

He began to shed his clothing. “Well get naked.”

(Name) rolled his eyes and but still began undressing. When they were both completely bare, there was a beat of silence. “Right. Yeah,” Adam said, eyes glued to (Name)’s dick. He definately knew what to do with that (he did not). But he figured (Name) would like a handjob to start, which was easy cause he masturbates. He knows the motions.

Adam does just that, and (Name) groans, surprised by the forward touch but definitely not unpleased. Adam began moving his hand as he would on himself and (Name) seemed to be enjoying it so Adam felt good about himself.

Name reached around Adam to begin petting his wings and Adam shuddered. “Fuck-“

(Name) smirked. “I know that feels good~”

His petting faltered as his breathing began to get heavier and he tried to warn Adam, “I’m cumming–” but not in time for them to save a mess from happening. (Name) came all over his own stomach and Adam’s hand.

Experimentally, Adam licked it. It did not taste good.

“That was good,” (Name) praised, and Adam basically radiated relieved happiness. “So, top or bottom?”

“Top,” Adam answers a little too quickly. (Name) just laughs. “Okay.” He climbed off the bed to go retrieve his bag, which he ruffled through until he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a bottle of lube and Adam’s dick twitched in excitement.

He hands the bottle to Adam and gets on his hands and knees. Eagerly, Adam comes up behind him on his knees, coating his fingers in lube and pushing them into (Name). (Name) groaned. Adam curled his fingers. He added a third when there stopped being resistance, and pumped his fingers in and out for a minute before deciding he’d prepped enough.

He hadn’t really, but (Name) was no virgin so he was alright.

Adam coated his dick with lube before pouring some on (Name)’s ass. Then he lined himself up, and slowly began to push in.

Both men groaned at the sensation.

Adam bottomed out, stilling to allow (Name) to adjust to his size. He reached around and grabbed (Name)’s dick, repeating the motions from earlier. (Name) whined, and Adam slowly began to thrust.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Adam hissed. His thrusts picked up pace, his hips slamming against (Name)’s ass. (Name) buried his face in the sheets.

Adam hit (Name)’s prostate and (Name) cried out in pleasure. Adam took note and made sure to not change his angle, hips speeding up even more. (Name) would make a noise every time Adam hit his prostate and it was Adam’s new favorite sound.

He was pounding into (Name), the room filled with panting, moaning, and the sound of skin against skin. Adam never slowed his minstrations on (Name)’s dick, and he could tell by the way it twitched that he was close.

Adam was close too, biting his lip. “I’m gonna, fuck, cum,” (Name) panted. “Cum for me, baby.” Adam’s words, hand around his dick, and hits against his prostate sent (Name) over the edge. He came, making a mess of the sheets, and the thought sent Adam over the edge.

He loved a mess in the bedroom.

“Fuck,” Adam groaned, his hips stuttering. He came, thrusting deep. He held still there as he came down from his high, panting and sweating. When he caught his breath, he pulled out, and (Name) immediately collapsed on his side.

Adam lay down next to him, cuddling into his chest, which was still heaving. (Name) kissed his head. “You did great,” he praised.

“Of course I did! I told you, I’m the fucking Dickmaster.”

[magicdustsworld]

Honour

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Synopsis: You've heard tales of the infamous humanity's strongest soldier – Captain Levi. The first time you meet him, you come to know how wrong they are.

Tropes: Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Warnings: Graphic description of violence, injuries, bit of something I can't add, gn!reader, Canon AU, no mentions of y/n.

Word count: 1.9k

Event: Submission for the prompt day 6 - Love at first sight on @levievent

“Square up, cadet!”

The terse call from one of your fellow soldiers instantly prompts you to straighten your spine. Footsteps serenade before halting right beside you, he scrutinizes the area you were assigned to clean. A hefty sigh leaves your lips, hopefully you’ve done a good job enough considering you’ve been on it since the last twenty minutes.

“Is this what you call clean?”

Just like that all of your hopes are shattered.

He presses the pad of his finger on the glass pane, dragging over the surface – a speck of dust grazes his skin. You swallow a lump, “I- well…”

“What are you mumbling like a maggot, now?”

Chewing on your bottom lips, your eyes flickered from him to the window “No, I- I thought it was clean-”

“Don’t get cocky, newbie.” He leans towards you. “I don’t know what the hell is up with you freshly out trainees-”

“Oluo, stop trying to imitate Captain Levi!”

A third voice chimes in, soon a hand is placed over your shoulder and you are met with a concerned mien of an auburn haired woman. “You okay?”

You nod and Oluo lets out a grunt. “Did I do something wrong?”

A corner of her lip curls up, “Not necessarily.” Her eyes flicker to the window pane then back at you. “You just need a little… guidance.”

You blinked, “Guidance?”

“Yeah, I will help you out around here.” She muses. “Its just- the captain can be quite a clean freak so if you want to be in his good books, you should get used to spotless and abrupt cleaning sessions.”

-

“Hm? Captain Levi?”

“Yeah,” You affirm, sitting beside Petra in the mess hall. “What is he like?”

She tilts her head – taking a second to conjure a proper response for you. Her spoonful of porridge has halted near her mouth before it is put down. “The true captain Levi he is well… cold, irritable, violent and always has a poker look on his face.”

 “Was he always like that?”

“As far as I’ve seen,” Petra answers and you nod. Silence for a second stretches the table until she starts again, “I’ve heard rumours that say he was a thug but he joined the scouts after Commander Erwin pulled some strings. He hails from the underground so-”

“From the underground?”

“From the underground.”

A pang of unease surges through you. Although you’ve lived your entire life on the surface, you aren’t elusive to the underground district. A region where no sunlight permeates, a hub for the criminals and the thought of such an enigmatic figure of the military being from there happens to cause an apprehensive pang.

She chuckles, “Pretty conflicting for you, right?”

“Well uhm,” You try to suppress the coy smile from forming on your lips. Running your fingers through your hair, you answer, “To be honest, I had a rather different picture of humanity’s strongest soldier.”

“Don’t let that title deter your eyes, cadet.”

This time, it is the soldier sitting across you who intervenes in the conversation. You shift your gaze to him, “Excuse me?”

“Don’t get all blinded by that strength and titan kills,” He replies with venom lacing his tone. “He doesn’t care about any of his comrades.”

“Duran!”

.

You try to twist your body, wincing from the pain that surges from your ripped abdomen.

Warm blood gushes out from the ghastly wound, hands coated with blood of yours – it’s a futile attempt to stop the bleeding by pressing on the area. The pressure only causes the backflow of blood causing it to rise up your throat and akin to bile, you throw up. Consciousness slips in and out of you by each passing second and the way your shredded intestines coil in fingers, the smooth pulsing flesh grazing your skin sends tremors up your shoulders.

A splitting headache shoots through your mind and you grunt. You can feel the anxious yet despondent stare of the medic by your side. The rather slow paced bandaging of your torso helps little. It’s almost like they have given up. Honestly, you can’t blame them for their surrender, the injuries you’ve sustained from almost being chewed up as titan fodder is far from curable. Even if you manage to not lose your life now (which is impossible with the amount of blood you’re losing), you’ll only be a burden to bring back to the walls (a factor which would risk the loss of more lives).

Either way, there is no win.

A zap of the ODM gear momentarily distracts you from the pain. Sooner than you can comprehend, there’s another figure kneeling beside your worn and moribund form. You are greeted with a lingering warm touch on your shoulder and just like that, your ragged breath ceases.

“What’s the condition?”

“The organs are ruptured and I can’t stop the bleeding, Captain Levi.”

The quivering voice of the medic stalls you that this is in the infamous Captain.

You don’t know what comes over you but you try to speak; resulting in a coughing fit with blood dripping down your lips, marring your skin with its tint.

Levi’s attention shifts to you, his thumb brushes a slow circle over the fabric of your uniform, “Easy there, Soldier.” He says, tipping his head as a sign. “You don’t need to speak.”

You gesture your understanding with a scuffling nod. Significantly, your vision is blurred due to obvious reasons. Yet, it’s not impossible to mark raven bangs fanning his forehead, sharp features, steel blue eyes that gaze down at you with… is that concern?

“Don’t get blinded by all that strength and titan kills, he doesn’t care about any of his comrades.”

Didn’t they say he doesn’t care?

“If you want to know does your sacrifice make any difference or not,” He starts, voice lowering yet a newfound grit ignites. “It does.”

It doesn’t. You want to say. It doesn’t make a difference. It is only your first expedition and just like the average rate of sixty percent of the new cadets who traverse beyond the walls for the first and last time – this is your last as well. 

It’s what they are obliged to say in the last moments. The same words will be spoken to your family as well. Just a responsibility.

“You will be remembered,” He tells you, his shoulders turn rigid as he turns his full attention on you. “If not by anyone else, by me you will. Your will and memories will live on as long as I live.”

Never did you think you’d be put in a situation where mere words of assurance would prove so much to you. Never did you even think that you’d receive them from the proclaimed stoic captain. It had been a cloudy today, for the reason the sight of an aberrant circling the region near your flank was unnoticed. Till the time a messenger had rode off to relay the news, the destruction had commenced. You had given up as soon as the titan got hold of you, even after you were released from its hold, the sustained wounds and the pain rippling through your gobbled up gut wall were toppling you down into a spiral of decadence.

 The storms running in your head were ruining the garden of clarity until a ray of sunshine pierced through the clouds in the form of Captain Levi.

Humorously, the gloomy sky clears up – the soft warmth of the sun mingling with the air of death falls upon you.

“It’s just the captain can be quite a clean freak so if you want to be in his good books, you should get used to spotless and abrupt cleaning sessions.”

Maybe the vast amount of blood loss was affecting your capability of rational thinking; you hold up your bloodied hand. Without a second thought, Levi seizes it.

“I will kill each and everyone of those bastards who did this to you.”

For reasons unknown, you find tears prickling up your eyes. You choke out a sob as the tears fall down. Your body is weakening but Levi holds your hand in his – interlocking the fingers. The blood drips down from the conjoint to the cufflinks of his shirt; he doesn’t let go. Instead, you are met with a tender touch of him wiping away your tears.

“The pain will end soon enough.”

It will. You need to accept it.

Through the impaired vision, you can make out his beautiful steel blue eyes staring back at you. Tears have not collected over his lashes but the silent intentions evoked by his gaze is more than any emotion you’ve known. It’s a good enough sight for a last sight.

“So will your suffering,” He continues with a cinched determination. However, the grave voice is coated with a tinge of sincerity and an emotion you can’t decipher. “Wherever you go now, you will be free so-” He pauses, swallowing a lump in his throat. “So forget about this wretched world anyway. You are destined for peace.”

It’s ironical but you crack a smile.

Since you were a child, you had perceived death to be scary. Then… Then why was it so beautiful?

It’s so cruel – all of it. It’s the first time you are meeting him but why did it also have to be the last? Couldn’t you be granted just more time for this fateful meeting to happen? But- you assume- but not meeting him ever would cause you a lifetime of regret. Even in this little moment, even with the life slipping from your fingers, even when the illusion of a reaper starts to stall near, you know it’s him. You know it’s him because you couldn’t give any reason. It’s Captain Levi and he’s like the moon you’ve found amidst the veil of stars.

You part your lips and Levi gets the clue that you’re about to speak so he intervenes. “Don’t-” You shake your head, gesturing for him to lean in.

He complies but it’s getting too hard for you to keep your eyes open.

Therefore, you say your first and last words to him.

“Thank you, Captain Levi.”

.

It’s an empty tomb but Levi still stands before it.

Due to urgent reasons, most of the corpses couldn’t be retrieved. Besides, the gloominess of the day which serenaded just after your death made it rather difficult to bring back all the bodies. It doesn’t matter really.

Levi heaves a breath, kneeling down before the tombstone. Like a fever dream he reverts back to the moment when he saw you for the first time. Worn out and clinging to life while your blood stained the grasses red.

He doesn’t know why, neither will be fret himself over knowing the reason. Yet, when he saw you drowning in the ocean of despair, he found himself suffocating as well.

He reaches into his pocket, grasping an object before he sets it over the stone. It’s empty. He knows. You aren’t here. He knows. He had to leave you behind. He knows that as well. Sunlight falls upon the ivory and azure wings of freedom – your insignia of the Survey corps. Levi has never understood the concept of bringing home the corpses. It wouldn’t change a thing. The dead is the dead after all. Dwelling over the past would only affect the present and future. In a way which rarely proves to be good.

However, the memories thrive. They always do. So keeping the brief encounter with you in his memories, he speaks to you for one last time.

“It was an honour to meet you.”

[actuallysaiyan]

C'est Si Bon(Mafia!Toshinori Yagi x Fem!Reader)

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, rough sex, nipple play, vaginal fingering, spitting, slight d/s dynamics, biting, lewd themes word count: 1.5k pairings: Mafia!Toshinori Yagi x Fem!Reader summary: he just loves how corruptible you are, and you love how rough he gets with you. a/n: part of the Une Belle Histoire/To Have and To Hold universe. art of Toshinori in banner is from freesilverwind on Twitter/X\\ for you @thoraeth

dividers: @adornedwithlight

taglist: @thissaintjessi.  @cherryblossombankai, @sunflowers-heart,  @erebus-et-eigengrau @pixelcafe-network

Having him in your bedroom was a rush. You watch as he gets closer to you, his eyes alight with desire. Toshinori was hungry for you, that fact was obvious to you. But you were so inexperienced with this kind of thing, you weren’t quite sure where to start.

“You’re so fucking cute,” he growls softly before kissing you hungrily. “Just listen to me, kitten. I’ll take good care of you.”

He continues to kiss you while his hands caress and soothes over your sides. He loves the cute little outfit you have on; a soft pink cashmere sweater with a skirt to match. The white tights you put on to keep yourself warm during the bike ride only served to make your man even harder.

“Sweetness,” he grunts as he begins to knead your breasts harshly. “I’m sorry I can’t be any more gentle with you. You’ve made me so fuckin’ hard.”

He tosses you onto the bed, loving the way your eyes widened and your breasts bounced. Even just this bedroom is so damn adorable. The thought of corrupting you has made him hungry and lust after you. He knows he’d never actually hurt you, but he can get rough with you. You love it too, knowing this is how he shows his affection at times.

Toshinori unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. He kicks off his boots, making his way over to the bed like a predator stalks its prey. There’s just a little hint of uncertainty in your eyes, which only makes his cock throb under that tight pair of jeans he wears.

“It’s okay, kitten. You look good enough to eat.”

He crawls onto the bed, dwarfing you in comparison. You whimper when his hands press against your breasts once again. Toshi kisses you with fervent hunger and need. With a single thrust of his hips, you feel his erection poking you.

When he takes a moment to pull back and look at you, he groans. There you are, laying on your frilly pink and white pillows with your hair splayed all over. Your cheeks are flush and your lips parted as you let out the cutest little noises. To think, he hasn’t even undressed you and you already look fucked out.

“Cute little kitten, just begging for it.” He spreads your thighs and wraps them around his waist.

For a few moments, Toshinori grinds against you as he kisses you. His tongue slides into your mouth as his big hands work on the tiny little buttons of your blouse. You gasp when he just rips it open, baring your cute bra to him.

“Shhhh…I’ll buy you another one,” he murmurs against your skin.

Toshinori is like a rabid animal as he licks, sucks and bites your skin. He’s eager to leave his mark; to let the world know that you belong to him and only him. There's a slick that dribbles from your core, making you feel even more aroused than before. You try to tell him, but you’re almost too embarrassed to say what’s happening to you.

So you take his hand and guide it between your thighs. Toshinori growls loudly when he feels just how soaked your little panties are. Oh, you aren’t being fair at all. Even though he just tore open your blouse, he wanted to try and take it slower.

“So wet for me, huh?” He asks, his warm breath on your neck. “I knew you’d be excited for this.”

He helps you pull down your skirt, tights and panties. Once you’re naked on the bed, he bites his bottom lip seductively. Oh you’re so fucking cute like this. He knows that he’s the only man you’ve been with and you’ve only done so much with him, so every time you two are intimate, it makes things even more exciting for the both of you.

Toshinori runs his thumb down your soaked folds, watching as your little hole clenches around nothing. You’re wanting him so fucking badly, and it only drives him even more mad for you. He continues running his thumb over your clit and folds, making you mewl for him. You’d probably come undone just from this.

“Tell me,” he growls softly in your ear. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

You cover your face, trying to hide how embarrassed you are by this. “N-no, too embarrassing.”

He uncovers your face, pinning your wrists above your head. He kisses you fiercely, making you shudder with need. You cant your hips a few times, trying to get a little friction from him. He whispers in your ear again, “tell me.”

You swallow hard and take a deep breath. All the acts that you two have done together, everything feels so good. You remember the time he kissed and suckled on your nipples, fingering your little pussy. Or the time he kissed all the way down and devoured you like the wild animal that he is.

“I want you,” you whimper. “Want you to fuck me.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice. Just the sound of you swearing like that makes his head spin. You rarely swear, and just knowing you want him to be deep inside you, it’s adding the fuel to his fire. He pushes one of his fingers into you, his other hand keeping your wrists pinned to the bed.

“You like that, don’t you?”

You nod your head, barely able to answer him properly. He curls his fingers against that sweet spot inside of you. Your hips buck up, and you let out the cutest little moan. Toshinori laughs at your reaction, but you know it’s not a mocking laugh.

“That’s my good girl,”

The words swirl in your mind as you ride his finger. Then another one joins the first, curling up against that spongy spot. You’re panting before long, the coil in your stomach tightening so fast. Before you know it, you cry out as you ride out those waves to perfect bliss.

Toshinori eagerly prolongs your orgasm until you slump against the bed. He smiles devilishly as he pulls his fingers from you, bringing them to his lips. He grunts loudly as he gets to taste you. You watch with hooded eyes as he cleans his fingers.

Without waiting any longer, he pulls his pants down. His throbbing cock slaps against his abdomen. Toshinori growls when you try to reach out to stroke him.

“Cockhungry, huh?” He grins as he spreads your thighs even wider. “Just wait. Be a good girl and maybe I’ll give you what you want.”

You whine as he uses the head of his cock to smear your slick all over your cunt. He growls again when he prods your little hole, watching it try to suck his cock into you. You’re such a needy girl, it’s hard for him to tease you for too long.

He slams into you, going balls deep with one solid thrust. The bed creaks under his harsh movements. The sound of skin slapping together fills the room along with your moans of pleasure. Toshinori leans in and he chuckles darkly as he kisses you roughly.

“You were needing this, huh?” He asks, nipping at your bottom lip.

All you can do is moan and whimper, which makes him even more aroused. He’s not complaining, he knows how you get when you get a good fucking like this. It’s what you need, even if you act all prim and proper around everyone else. 

His big hands soothe up and down your sides before he kneads your breasts. You yelp when he tugs on your nipples, and your walls clamp down around him. His eyes widen.

“Ohhhh, so you like it when I’m this rough with you huh?”

One of his hands soothes down to your clit and he leans in closer just to be able to spit on the swollen bud. He begins to rub it in fast little circles, alternating between that and pinching your clit. His other hand works on your tender breasts. With all of the rough stimulation, you’re pushed over the edge once more.

The pulsing of your walls drives Toshinori crazy. He goes back to roughly gripping your hips, pulling you closer to him with every snap of his hips. He’s grunting and growling as your orgasm pushes him closer to his own peak.

“Gonna fill up this cute little pussy,” he growls. “Gonna mark you up from the inside out.”

With a few more rough thrusts, Toshinori roars as he begins to spill deep inside of you. Shots of thick, hot cum coat your insides. You shudder as you take it all, a blissful smile on your face as you slump down on the bed again.

He rests against your chest; he’s sweaty and tired. There’s a little impish grin on his face when he goes to kiss your neck, sucking on one spot to leave a mark. Then he kisses down to your nipple, latching on to suckle for a bit as he comes down from his high.

“Fuck, I love corrupting you.” He says, grinning up at you.

When you run your fingers through his sweaty hair and you tenderly give him words of love, Toshinori melts. Though he may be rough with you, he knows you love him all the same.

reblogs and comments always appreciated!

©actuallysaiyan 2025– do not repost on other platforms, copy, translate or edit my works!

[masongetinmybed]

Hi! Could you do kook princess reader who is secretly fucking jj gets pissed at him because he was trash talking and saying shit about your friends and decides to get payback by tying him up, overstimulating or fucking him dumb and then makes him apologize on video?

yes i love this idea too much to put into words. i live for sub!jj

cw: smut (obv), overstimulation, being tied up, degrading, edging??

*At a pogue party*

"Why the fuck are these dumbass kooks here bro" JJ slurred out looking over at JB, "Dont they know they dont belong on the cut".

JB looks back at JJ "I dont know man Sarah's a kook and you like her" he shrugs at JJ. "Yeah man but like y/n kook princess," he says sarcastically rolling his eyes, "and topper, kelce and don't even get me started on rafe fucking cameron"

Rafe was one of your best friends and your partner in crime (literally and figuratively). Unfortunately for him JJ didnt realize that you had heard him talking about you and all of your friends.

You pulled out your phone to text him before heading back over to your friends

you: wanna come to mine after this party?

jj: ofc i do mamas

you: alr come over in like 2 hours?

jj: ill be there

*later at your house*

JJ walks into your room "hey pretty girl" he says drunkenly smirking at you.

"JJ." you shot him an angry glance.

"what happened mama? i thought you wanted me to come over?" he frowned before walking closer to you and reaching over to you to try and pull you in.

"I did," you pause backing away from him slightly, "because I heard you talking shit about my friends at the party"

"oh-" he huffs, getting cut off by you. "Yeah, that wasn't very nice jayj. You know what happens when you're bad." You whisper into his ear after taking a step closer to him. Your index finger hooking into one of the belt loops of his cargo shorts, your other hand grabbing onto his jaw to tilt his head downward at you.

You let him go and walk over to get the handcuffs from your drawer. "Lay down" you command, and he listens knowing he can't avoid it but trying to get out of it anyway. "Please y/n I'm drunk and I didn't know you would hear it and I'm sorry mama please"

"so you think its okay as long as I don't hear it then huh?" You question, straddling his now shirtless stomach on the bed as you cuff him to the headboard.

"no that's not what I meant princess, I just idk baby I'm sorry" he pleads, eyes sad and lips quirking down into a frown.

"Oh I know you are baby, but you're gonna be really sorry when I'm done with you and you're gonna tell me just how sorry you really are." You smirk down at him, getting off of the bed to strip slowly, enjoying that he couldn't do anything about the bulge growing in his pants.

After getting completely naked you climb back into the bed and kiss JJ, his whimpers vibrate through you as you slowly palm his hard on through his shorts. You move down to slowly pull off his boxers while leaving little kisses on the blondes happy trail, when his shorts are finally off you kiss his clothed tip.

"Y/n, please" he attempts to hurry you, unsuccessfully. "Be patient jayj you did this to yourself" you hushed him finally taking off his boxers and watching as his cock sprung up to hit his abs. You met your lips to his neck, sucking and biting softly as you grind against him, leaving a trail of your slick on his length.

"fuck mamas" he moaned and let his head fall back. Still kissing his neck you lined up his angry tip with your entrance and slid down all the way bottoming out quickly. JJ let out a whimper and then a loud groan as you immediately begin riding him not giving time for either of you to adjust and now kissing along his collarbone and pecs.

"Baby baby slow down p-please" he begged but you didn't give in, over stimulating him as you picked up your speed, one hand in his hair and the other one keeping you steady above him. You met his lips in a sloppy, lustful kiss, his moans and yours mixing together in a symphony. "y/n, i'm so close fuck-" he stuttered out and with that you slowed and carefully got off of him. You looked down at his figure, hair messy and face pathetic as he looked at you reaching over to get your phone. You pulled it out and started recording, "tell me again how sorry you are JJ, god you look so pathetic" you scoff at him.

"P-please baby I'm so so sorry I promise it'll never happen again," he rambled, anxious for release "please mamas let me cum in you". With that you were satisfied and set your phone to record the two of you, something you both did often. You got back onto him as he let out a whimper and his hips bucked up to meet yours.

You began to ride him again, bounces sloppy and the room filled with sounds of yours and his pleasure and the harsh smacking sound of your ass on his thighs, as you both reached your high. You felt his hot ropes of seed slowly come into you as you creamed around his thick length.

"Fuck JJ," you moaned out as you reached up to unlock his handcuffs and release his wrists. His hands immediately found your hips and held you on him before he flipped you over on the bed and pulled out of you slowly. He walked over to the bathroom getting a warm cloth to clean the two of you up with.

"I love you mamas, it'll never happen again. Promise" he said kissing your forehead. "I love you too J" you responded as the two of you cuddled up on your bed together, eventually falling asleep.

A/N: I've never written for sub!JJ before but I hope y'all enjoy. Also I have a few requests and other fics in the drafts so please be patient but feel free to send in any asks! Thanks for the support, love you!!

[lynnsenpai]

My ten year anniversary of beating cancer

On October 2nd 2014, I - a trans woman - was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I wanna talk about that a little today. (((Probably obvious trigger warnings, but I'm going to talk about cancer, mortality, and transphobia.)))

It was a crazy time, because that morning, I was just going in for my yearly physical with my doctor. I planned to talk to her about taking steps towards bottom surgery that day, and then I was just excited to get home and count down the hours until Smash Bros for 3DS would release the very next day. But the appointment went an unexpected direction during the physical.

I'd always been told by doctors my whole life to check for lumps, and as much as I hated that part of my body, I did as I was told. So when I never found lumps, I assumed that meant I was okay. Then my doctor told me one of them felt oddly hard. She left the room for some time (I assume to check some things) and when she returned, she explained she had some concerns and was sending to another specialist to confirm some things. She said she felt very sure it was a sign of testicular cancer, though.

At the time, my brain wasn't ready to hear that. My doctor was visibly shaken. My spouse was on the verge of tears. And I was deep in denial like, "but I mean there's a chance it might not be, right? So I'm not going to sweat it." In hindsight, I'm sure I was frustrating to listen to for not taking it seriously. But it wasn't like I was trying to be obstinate, I just was that strongly in disbelief. I didn't feel sick. I wasn't in any pain. Things were going well; this couldn't possibly be happening now.

And yet, a few days later, I saw the specialist, and it was confirmed. I had cancer. Any optimistic doubts I had, shot down in an instant. The specialist wanted to take care of this as fast as he could, so I was scheduled for surgery at the end of the month, and he gave me a stack of prescriptions for various tests I would go to - basically one a day - for the next few weeks.

I had lots of blood drawn. I had x-rays done. I had CT scans. I had an incredibly awkward, uncomfortable ultrasound. And at each appointment, I was seeing some new doctor, nurse, technician, or otherwise professional who probably looked at my chart and, despite my legally changed name and gender marker by that point, saw that the person in front of them had testicular cancer. “And such a person could only be a man.”

I feel like it must sound so petty to be worried about pronouns when you're dealing with something like cancer. But I want to stress that I was nearly a year in presenting full time as myself by that point. I hadn't been called a man in a very long time. And up until earlier that very month, I was on cloud nine and ready to take the next step in my transition. This whole ordeal, on top of being horrendously scary, also took huge strides in regressing all the progress I'd made with confidence and self-love over the previous two years.

And it got worse too. Insurance refused to cover the surgery because I changed the gender marker. Because "why would a woman need to get surgery to remove a testicle. That's just silly!" And there was no convincing them otherwise. Insult to injury, I had to change that gender marker back to an M in their system so that they would approve this surgery. It was a surprisingly easy change to make happen too (which was technically beneficial for the surgery, but also sucked in its own way).

Oh, and then I had to go off all my HRT meds in preparation to reduce the risk of blood clots during surgery. I never felt lower.

All the while, I had plenty of time to think about my mortality. I was only 30. What about my spouse who I love more than anything and might be leaving alone forever? What about my ongoing webcomic, my work of passion which at the time was only nearing about the halfway point, and was at risk of being left unfinished forever? And what about my own future that not so long ago felt so bright?

It would not be an understatement to call October 2014 one of the darkest, heaviest, scariest periods of my life. But not in that good fun "Halloweeny" way.

But the big day came. On October 28th - ten years ago today - I went in for surgery for the first time. I was in the OR for maybe an hour, and the cancerous testicle was removed. As suddenly as it started, it was over.

Recovery was a long and painful (without dragging out the story longer than it already is, the surgical site got infected, so healing probably ended up taking longer than it should have). But the good news, all things considered, was that they successfully removed it, and I wouldn't even need chemo because it was caught so early.

There's technically more to the story. I would later see an oncologist who encouraged a second surgery, to remove the other testicle, as well as lymph nodes around the kidneys, all as a preventative measure to make sure it didn't come back or spread. I didn't love this idea, but she seemed confident that this was the right choice, so I went along with it. And just four months after the first surgery, I went and did it all again. (This time went much more smoothly, but was a much bigger incision, and was still a very long recovery.)

The whole thing, start to finish - including recovery time - was only about 7 months long. I would go for regular oncology visits and testing and blood draws along the way for years to come, but it never showed up again.

In 2016, I finally got back on track for bottom surgery, and then had it done later that same year. My gender marker is back to being an F (where it should be) on everything. I also have two wicked cool scars to show that I conquered cancer.

Unfortunately, I don't think I ever fully mentally recovered from the emotional stress of that first month, as doctor visits still evoke way more anxiety for me than they used to. But I don't get misgendered anymore, at least.

This was all ten years ago I wasn't sure I'd still be here on this day back then. But I got through it. I'm still here for my spouse. I finished that first webcomic after an 11 year run, and have since started a second. And… I'm doing okay. I'm doing the best I can everyday.

It was a terrible time in my life - an especially terrible way to start my 30's - but I think it helps to talk about from time to time. And the ten year anniversary, feels as meaningful a time as any.

So thank you for reading all that. Please make sure to take care of and check yourself. Even if it's a part of yourself you don't want.

Stay safe, stay happy, and stay healthy everyone.

[heartfullofleeches]

You know what i would like to see a goldfish reader cause i mean goldfish can be really tiny and can get fairly big, maybe reader is from a pet store and gets bought for a young rich yandere and gets absolutely pampered and gets huge, clifford the big red dog style

"Sorry, I can't make it this year."

"Mom won't drive me out that far....."

"Maybe next time?"

"Next year."

Next year... Next year.. They'll be forty by the time that rolls around. It's always the same. People stick around for the lavish parties and taste of the high life, but the second they want to downgrade for something small with close friends and family everyone's suddenly too busy to come see them. The presents have always been shit too. Flashy jewelry or clothing from brands they couldn't care less about. Whatever happened to giving kids toy trains and dolls? They're sick of it. Sick of everything. Why can't anything turn out right-

Auryn hurls their phone at the door, anger fleeting as it smashes into a million pieces. Mommy and daddy will just buy them a new one, and while it won't do a scratch they love the idea of burning a hole in their pockets. Wasting all the money they gave them instead of time. The door creaks open once the coast is clear and in peaks a frightened maid. Her eyes fall to her arms, soothing whatever she held with a soft hush. They return to her master, waiting for their answer.

"Come in."

The maid opens the door completely and steps inside. In her hands was a glass bowl. "From your parents."

Auryn drums their leg against the frame of their bed, wondering why their arms were still empty. "Well?"

The maid shoves the bowl into their chest as passive she could, prioritizing the creature within over her annoyance. They look into the glass. Floating at the bottom; staring right back at them, was a little goldfish. Poor thing had been startled awake by the loud thud and trying to squeeze its tail into the castle it had already outgrown. It still couldn't have been any bigger than their hand. Beyond its human features, there was nothing special about it. A fish.

A fucking fish. Out of all the things they could've sent. The maid could sense their rage flaring. "Please give it a chance. Your brother couldn't keep it, and he knew you'd be the next best owner."

Their nails scrap the glass. That only makes it worse. Their family dumping their trash on them was a new low. What were they going to do with this thing? They should put it out of its misery. Abandoned, weak, unable to feign for itself.... just like them.

Auryn looks at the goldfish again. They stick a finger in its tank, swishing it around as the guppy takes interest. It swims up to them and puts its mouth around the digit, nibbling at the skin. They smile a bit, pulling their finger away which in turn causes the fish to dart away. Their brows furrow in worry.

"... I'm..sorry for scaring you. You're just like me aren't you? Alone. Afraid. I'll take care of you. I promise. Why don't we start off by getting you a new tank?"

.

.

.

"Noooooo"

You shake in their arms as the divers attempt to fit their measuring tools around your tail, successfully knocking two of them away and sending the third packing. Auryn strokes your tears into your scaly flesh, fighting a laugh as the hired help resurfaces.

"I don't want to get measured!"

"Shhhh. It's okay. If even one scale is missing off that gorgeous tail I'll cut their oxygen and add a few bricks to their suits."

You still aren't convinced. Auryn melts at the way you curl against their chest. The first time they held you like this you were about the size of a puppy. Now, your tail alone was bigger as their entire torso and your arms were tree trunks compared to theirs. They had done exactly as they said. After you came into their life no one else mattered. They got you a nice large tank to start off with, fed you a healthy diet with plenty of treats since your speak lessons were going so well, and spoke with you for hours. You were already half their size by the end of the year. They used to take you on walks in your little bowl, then they had to buy a wagon to carry you around, and now you lived in a glorified swimming pool no one else had access to besides care beyond their capabilities. Having you turned them into a more compassionate, but closed off person, and got them through the worse in life. They were successful in nearly every endeavor and it was all for you.

Auryn gets close to your ear as their voice rises in pitch. "But if you reaaaally don't want to - I'll have to find some other guppy to give all the brine shrimp I have in the house to."

Your tail cracks against the pool's wall, ripping the water's surface with tidal category waves and pushing the workers back down under. "I'll be good! I will- please!"

"Haha - ok, ok." They give a thumbs up to the divers as they climb in the pool. You work with them this time, channeling your fright as their tools stretch and stick around you into the grip you hold on Auryn's arm - careful not to apply too much. They grit through the pain and as one of the divers comes up again they take the measuring tape still held by the rest and lines it up to your head.

"4 meters!"

Auryn exclaims in glee and grabs you by the cheeks, cooing and kissing your nose as they laugh. "Look at you! A whole nother meter in just one year. Keep this up and we'll have to buy an island."

A servant knocks on the sliding glass door. Auryn excuse themselves with one final kiss to your wet lips as they hop out of your tank. They hand them a phone.

"It's your parents. They are in town with your brother and would like to take you out for your birthday this evening."

Auryn gets real close to the receiver as they speak. "Eat shit and die. Stay the hell away from us."