#and like I said she is bad with emotions
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Sierra WHAT?
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What I do
#what I doš#HELP#But srsly#I'm gonna try to keep her consistent this time bc Imma be real sometimes I was just role-playing what mini me had in mind#and like I said she is bad with emotions
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"Rhaenyra isn't the stepmother, she's the mother who stepped up!"
The HOTD writers themselves are hardly doing anything to support that narrative, so I take this rhetoric with a grain of salt. While I think, in some way, Rhaenyra does care for Baela and Rhaena....if I had to point out a motherly figure for them that could pose as someone stepping in Laena's place, Rhaenyra would not be it.
#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd critical#rhaenyra targaryen critical#baela targaryen#rhaena targaryen#this mainly just comes from my frustration with this fandom painting rhae as overly motherly toward baela & rhaena#making it seem like we had so much to go on for her being a good stepmother when it's really the bear minimum#there's more with rhaenys being there for them than with rhae--- both physically & verbally#even with scenes where she's with them: for baela it holds more of political means with her having a dragon and then using her to see corly#like sure she could be concerned about her well-being but it's definitely not on the same level as with her sons#don't even get me started on with rhaena bc that ābe a mother to themā line had me š¤¬#and her referring to her sons as hers and the pain of sending them away but not adhering to rhaena's emotional needs and feelings of inferi#rity--- like it didn't sit right with me especially when she couldn't even be bothered to hug her#i like to enjoy headcanons about their relationship but the canon material doesn't stray far either#rhaenys raised baela alongside her on driftmark she sought rhaena out when they met after so long#she advocated for rhaena to her husband over joffery--- she's their grandMOTHER that stepped up tbh#tbh i wouldn't really be rocking with my stepmom if she sought after & slept with my dad at my mom & stillborn brother's funeral#barely comforted my sister and i when we were injured in a fight (only her sons)#then got married to said father not long after said funeral...like i'd be pressed tbh!#dni if you can't have a collected conversation about this#rhaenys targaryen#(also just bc im a little critical of rhae doesn't mean i hate her in comparison to others she's not that bad tbh)
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I really truly, from the bottom of my heart, hate you bitches so much, because on the tiktok of literally COCK AND BALL jokes w brittany broski, there were a few notes/messages like this:
And I KNOW you don't think anyone's going to check. You had someone go into your askbox and say "hiii brittany broski is shitty about palestine she's really ignorant :/" and you went oh omg I didn't know!! thanks for telling me! So I checked! This is in reference to her talking in her podcast, because people were asking why she hadn't done any big press statements about Palestine, you didn't retweet this or that, you must not care, don't you care, what's your stance, etc etc please say more OKAY COOL. So what's going on there? What did Brittany say on her podcast? Is she a Bad Person? Can I have some transcript, please? ____ "Hey guys, before we get into this week's episode, I want to talk to you about the ongoing and prolonged suffering and loss of life in Gaza, in Israel, and the oppression of Palestinian people widespread. I don't ever want it to be a question that I would ever not be against the oppression of any group of people, that I would ever stand on the side of the oppressor." "There was a lot of fear of misusing my platform." ... "I will admit that I was nervous to talk about it, because I don't want to say the wrong thing. And this is too fucking serious of an issue to misspeak, or to spread misinformation, or to speak over or for someone." ... "So I want to take a moment on my biggest platform- which is this podcast, to say that I stand with the people of Palestine, I stand for the liberation of Palestinian people." ... "Every day, to log on to social media, and be just inundated with graphic, unimaginable violence, and loss, and grief, it's just--There are no words." ... "And I feel helpless. That's part of it too, when you feel helpless, the last thing you want to do is talk to people about it-- but visibility is a resource in and of itself. And I can offer that." ... "The outpouring of rage and passion online, and anger at what's happening, I would argue needs to be dedicated and focused on our elected officials. We live in a democracy- albeit an inherently flawed one- we live in a democracy where we have elected officials who were elected and put in power to represent us, and if we feel misrepresented, if we feel underrepresented in foreign affairs? These officials have public phone numbers and emails. There are scripts available online to express your disdain and your rage, and unfortunately that's one of the only ways we'll see actionable change."Ā Ā "If you expected more from me, it's a terrible feeling- but I don't want to center myself, this needs to be all eyes on Palestine right now, where the real activism is happening. I would encourage you to follow journalists that are on the ground, people who are in Gaza, we need to be listening to them. I would also hope that we're at a point in this conversation where I can express my desire to stand in solidarity with the people of Palestine and that NOT meaning or suggesting or condoning anti-Semitism of any kind. There's a rise of anti-Semitism and islamophobia in the United States and it's just-- it's disgusting, and it's scary, so I want that to be said too. I just wanted to share that I am experiencing part of this collective sense of helplessness and hopelessness-- but it DOESN'T HAVE to be hopeless. I'm going to include a phone number in the description of this episode where, if you don't know the name of your senators or your Congressman, it's never too late to learn, and you can reach out to them." _______ Hm. What a bitch!! Yeah, just so ignorant and uncaring. Obviously she's not keeping up with anything. Should've retweeted more shit ig!
#sergle.txt#I will turn off reblogs on this so fucking fast I swear to god. I have a gun. I needed to complain about this#up in my notes and my asks bc you already didn't like somebody and you believe what ppl say on anon indiscriminately.#so what I'm hearing is she didn't talk about it enough / didn't put out statements soon enough. I see.#basically a criminal offense. she should get the electric chair ig#god I mean. if my thing was comedy and I had a big audience I don't think I'd know how/when/if to do basically a#Press Conference on Literal Genocide or if I should not make it about me and my thoughts? but do shit in the small ways I can#what do you even say... I think what she said here makes sense. but maybe I'm not reading it with enough bad faith#like oh my god. OH MY GOD#so no I'm not gonna delete the clips I posted what. the fuck are we talking about#''she was frustrated on ig stories that ppl were messaging her to put out a statement'' yeah... yeah. frustration. in response to so much#bad faith directed at you. hundreds of thousands of people all saying shit At You like it all rests on you#and being told to say these words so if you say them they will be empty. myeah what a bitch basically#I personally would not experience a human emotion in response to this.
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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i would actually love to hear your thoughts on when layton would emote the ways you've drawn him! if you want! no pressure if not!
OH B OY HERE WE GO!!!!! again take everything with a grain of salt bc i Forgor bits of the series
BLANKET SPOILER FOR UNWOUND FUTURE/MIRACLE MASK MAYBE??/AZRAN LEGACY
(for reference we are talking abt this post)
SURPRISE: As we know in the PL series, it's very very hard to catch the professor off-guard in any way. Most of the things you would think would surprise him, he's already known for a long time and was just keeping quiet about it so that he could use that information at the right time.
With that being said, the times where he does seem to get somewhat surprised (or taken aback. he's so goddamn emotionally constipated) seem to be when the shocker in question has personal relation to him. Though in the series proper, none of the shocking personal factoids are ever presented in a way to make him jump. So theoretically, if any twists like Claire or Descole's reveal were presented much more aggressively, he might emote like how I've drawn him (though I kinda doubt it). Or just jumpscare him lmao
SADNESS: Obviously we know that Layton can feel sadness and cry, though even at the end of Unwound Future it's clear that he's still holding back with his crying. I'd wager that it's because he's out in public and around an impressionable individual (Luke) that he's not letting himself fully express his grief. After all, a true gentleman never makes a scene in public.
I'd say, if he were to cry like the way I've drawn him (that is, bawling his eyes out), it'd probably be at the end of UF when Luke leaves for America, and he'd have to be alone. And I mean completely alone. He'd be very careful about having anyone even remotely near him before he breaks down sobbing; he'd wait for Luke to go home, and wait a while to make sure that he hears no other footsteps around who could potentially walk in on him, before crying. And even then, he'd still repress it - trying to choke back sobs to make sure he isn't heard, pulling the brim of his hat over his eyes and covering his eyes with his hand, the works. Because sadness/crying is weakness to him, and a true gentleman can never show weakness.
ANGER: Frankly, I feel like this is one of the emotions I've drawn that I actually could see him showing in the series proper. We've seen him in Unwound Future just barely holding back his anger at Clive when he endangered Flora/started wrecking havoc on London (obviously still restrained- yadda yadda yadda "true gentleman" blah blah blah).
To get him to unrestrain it, I'd say you would have to put a lot of people he cares about (particularly his wards - Luke and Flora would likely be excellent choices) in direct danger, as well as taunt him to a personal degree enough times. Because even the Professor has limits to how much mental strain he can take, and all limits can be broken. It's just a matter of pushing the right (or wrong!) buttons on him.
FEAR: This one's tough I think. As an adult who's seen a lot (including his own death), it's pretty hard to find something that would really scare him to that degree. Throughout the series the most he seems to show in terms of fear is either: a) surprise that he quickly recovers from, or b) the end of Unwound Future when he realizes that Claire can't stay with him.
I say that theoretically (and REALLY emphasize on the "theoretically"), you might be able to get him to emote the way I've drawn him... if you subject him to anything akin to his recently unrepressed memories of his childhood, and he's rendered helpless to do anything to help but watch. But like I said, only theoretically. I'd wager that he'd probably just be angry too.
LAUGHTER: ...I honestly have no good clue to how or when he'd emote like this. For him to laugh so heartily, he'd have to be in a state of extreme emotional vulnerability, which isn't often.
I'd say it'd be at a time where he's feeling very relieved, or elated (and they'd both have to be situations that connect to him personally too; outside events won't phase him). How he'd laugh to such an extent I'm not actually sure, BUT I could paint a bit of a scenario: It's the end of UF, but Claire could actually stay without dying, and she makes a sort of lighthearted joke in light of the events. Would he laugh wholeheartedly? I dunno. But judging on what we've seen of him, it's a maybe.
It's a shame we never get to see him emote so colourfully in the hexalogy proper, but as I've stated before in another long-winded half-legible ramble character analysis, he's SEVERELY repressing his emotions due to Claire's last words/"gentleman" values/positive reinforcements from his peers and environments for successfully hiding his emotions. Poor guy.
#mak talks smack#mak talks back#professor layton#hershel layton#character analysis#i guess.?#mostly just me yapping eternally while trying to make sure i'm actually understood#i was waiting until i had enough mental capacity to type this on my laptop so sorry for the wait anon#but this is the gist of what i think#ALSO I FEEL THE NEED TO ADD#I DO NOT HATE CLAIRE IN ANY WAY AT ALL!!!#she's just made some very unfortunate wording choices which have exacerbated his repression issues further :(#but like i said in the art post the laughing one i put in bc i felt bad. lmao#most of the emotions i've drawn were just fun exercises for me#realistically would he show half of them? probably not#but oh well#still it's fun to draw him feeling extremes#especially when his face is just :-) or :-|#limitations are the key to progress!!
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Sorry for all the yapping but truly, hiccstrid and just Astrid as a character, are a tragedy with their wasted potential.
Astrid and Hiccup's similarities are like never brought up, neither are the overlaps in their hobbies (they're both incredibly stubborn and protectors at heart, care deeply for their community but don't always know how to show it, astrid collects weapons, hiccup makes them, they're both artists in their own rights, etc).
In canon they have barely anything in common and are together for seemingly no reason other than Hiccup's childhood crush.
Their dynamic throughout the franchise is just consistently Hiccup continously fucking up or being unsure of himself and Astrid giving him a Motovational Speech to make him feel better, very rarely (if at all) do we see this in reverse.
Astrid exists to uplift Hiccup and nothing more. She isn't her own person she isn't allowed to exist outside of him. We barely see her interacting with the other riders beyond surface level of her 'putting up with' them despite the literal crumbs we're shown of their bonds.
(wasted potential of Ruff and Astrid friendship, the way there was a whole episode about her learning to work with Tuff and they just forgot about it immediately after, hints of her being close with Fishlegs, her dynamic with Snotlout)
In rtte especially she comes off as so mean for no reason towards people who are meant to be her friends (Hiccup very much suffers from this too š) or ignoring the words and ideas of anyone that isn't Hiccup.
It's honestly frustrating how at a glance, Astrid is seen by many as some kind of feminist icon for being able to fight. She is such a byproduct of that whole 'girl power' era in the 2010s where they were so afraid of getting in trouble for making women seem weak, they went for the reverse extreme by making her seem cold and unfeeling or just angry for no reason (past the first movie at least) towards everyone but her love interest.
#astrid hofferson#shes literally so important shes bad at emotions but cares so deeply for her community she fights but doesnt#necessarily revel in voilence bc shes a product of a time where they were in constant survival mode shes a protector at heart#astrid fans ill protect u with my awesome headcanons and together we can save her#Anyways I hope post thw Astrid Divorces Hiccup!!#i HATE her in homecoming like Who is that. it somehow got worse she went from just being The Girlfriend to The Mom its horrible#httyd sexist writers when i catch u its OVER.#httyd#httyd gang#astrid httyd#deyas dragons#moth.txt#some of this is just what i alr said but its meantvto be more.. composed. i hope it is at least
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not to brag, but my therapist told me today that i did incredible during our emdr session, which means i get an A for the day in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve šāāļøš
#not snz#literally said out loud to her ādoes that mean i get an a in therapyā which i assume we'll discuss at a later date lmao#random snz related thing tho#i told her today i used to hide the fact that i was sick as a child bc i didnt want to be a burden#and she was like wow. that's really serious#and i was like tbh i didn't think it was that big a deal until you said that LMAO#i hid everything!!! emotions are Bad To Show!!!#i just love her bc she doesnt mince words haha#did you guys hide the fact that you were sick as a kid? and not for like fetishy reasons#for like i dont want to bother anyone reasons#im sure im not alone there#anywayyyy#i promise im working on a story. its a mark story and he amd i are v similar so its been difficult to write#but itll hopefully be up by Friday#ive spent so much time on it and honestly i dont even like it but#its going out one way or another#i never spend this much time on one story idk whats going on#we'll see if anyone enjoys it!!#thats it for the novel in the tags if ya made it this far hi thanks for being part of my second therapy session of the day#aka the tags of a rando tumblr post lol
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havent seen this take in a while thankfully but it popped up in my head and i wanna post this anyways. i think everyone who talks about how siffrin āgot off too easyā at the end of isat and his friends should have abandoned him should go read warrior cats if they want an example of a character using their trauma as their god-given jailbreak card to treat their family and peers (a good amount of whom who were completely innocent) like dogshit, and who faces zero consequences from the narrative for it (and in fact bends over to blame their peers). like read all the shit jayfeather does while the narrative sobs over how tragic but awesome and quirky he is and then look me in the eye and tell me siffrinās ending was poorly written.
#or look at titania from reborn. what who said that#at least siffrinās trauma is actually developed and taken deadly seriously by the narrative and clearly isnt being used to excuse his behav#behavior#siffrin does some shitty things in the story but theyre very obviously in a horrible state mentally and physically thats been breaking them#down little by little by little until theyve exploded and broken down. and his family still holds him accountable for what he did#but they stay with him anyways because they love and respect and care about him and are horrified to learn his situation#meanwhile ivypool goes through trauma yeah but shes not really written like a realistic trauma victim#and when she hurts her sister over and over and over and over and over again its always her sister who has to make it up at the end#and we all gotta sob and coo over ivy because shes the fan favoriteand if you criticize her then you hate trauma victims#(ignoring dovewingās trauma from the situation as well i might add)#while ivy never gets to grow or acknowledge how her attitude is hurtful to herself and others#its just āāwell dovewing had it better so she better shut the fuck up and deal with the constant emotional abuse ivy throws at herāā#imagine if isat ended with siffrin going āāactually im not sorry bc you all havent suffered as much as meāā#and the party didnt object to that at all and they were like āāyes we do have it better so youre justified in hurting us#and also you are the most tragic character ever so you cant face emotional consequences everāā#(and before anyone goes āāwell dovewing left the clan and ivypool feels bad about thatāā the story doesnt position it as a consequence of#her behavior to her sister. canonically shes leaving to be with her baby daddy and SHES framed as the one hurting her sister#and shes the one whos gotta mend that rift. while the narrative doesnt acknowledge that that situation was partly her sisters fault at all#)#ok sorry for wc on main jumpscare. i wouldve posted over on the blog but i dont think people over there have played isat#echoed voice#isat spoilers
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I know it's a fact of life and all, but it does give me the heebie jeebies, knowing there's someone out there whose job is to masturbate male pigs so they can ship off semen to artificially inseminate sows.
Like I get it... it's just...like...business, circle of life, this is how the meat industry is efficient in how it breeds livestock, but...
I'm trying to imagine someone whose job it is to masturbate a caged pig, and it's like...
Hm.
I hope they pay them...something good.
Also I wonder if like...female pigs ever feel super weird about being artificially inseminated.
Like they know it's not natural.
I assume.
And then I think, well, what about the male pigs?
They probably know it's not natural either, being jerked off in a cage by some human.
What is going through their heads during all this...
#hm#anyway#you shouldnt reblog this not bc i care if you do or do not#but because whatever followers you have might want to strangle you for reblogging this#not sure why i was thinking about this#oh right#because i read an omegaverse fanfic about being milked for semen and then i was like doesnt that happen in real life#and now ive fallen into the rabbithole of animal husbandry#when you think about it its a really weird concept like morally#my mom forced her dog kelly to get bred by one of those stud dogs right and she said she felt so bad#cuz the poor dog looked right at her when he entered#and she looked horrified that her mother was standing there not doing anything i guess#and its like oh wow#that feels#wrongf#like i know they dont have the complex emotions of humans but#i dont know that kind of feels wrong for some reason#poor dog didnt know what was happening or what was coming#also they had to really pull the dog off because he didnt want to stop#also the command was like#take#which feels#uber creepy#but you know#fact of life i guess#you dont think about this shit if youre desperately trying to get a corgi i guess?#i wouldnt relate though#i only rescue dogs#i hate purebred bullshit#ill take mutts and accidental pregnancies all day every day
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as someone with lifelong chronic illnesses that have bailed me out of some awkward situations in my time, sometimes i feel the need to be like hey universe!!!! listen up!!!! i do NOT want to be rescued from this scenario by getting sick!!!! i mean you know i'll always be grateful for that one time with the midterms, i understand you're trying to be on my side here when you hit the eject button using a whole stick of dynamite, BUT NOT THIS TIME!! I APPRECIATE THE THOUGHT BUT I'M GOOD!!
#I AM NOT REQUESTING EMERGENCY EVACUATION!! I DO NOT WISH TO EJECT FROM THE PLANE!#i know some chronically ill people really can't relate to this. like it is always a 100% bad experience for them to get sick#but i will say i had some conveniently timed hospitalizations when i was a kid#like i wasn't faking. i didn't engineer my blood oxygen level. it was just like the hand of god came down and said#actually this child should not have to go on that field trip with a teacher she doesn't really like#this seems like a good time for seven days in the pediatrics ward#and i was grateful the whole time :)#i have to substitute tomorrow in a room where a bunch of people tested covid positive this week and others refuse to mask#which is whatever but this happening WHILE there are other emotional things in my life makes me want to be clear#the symptoms
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TOS-Era Michael Burnham
#Michael Burnham's in-denial 'burned out high achiever' swag...#Michael Burnham#Michael Burnham art#whenever I picture Michael in my head she is troubled by something so tha t's how I tend to draw her...that + Vulcan upbringing#the Michael Burnham in my head is so powerful...flat affect and limited facial expression queen <3#she feels the entire spectrum of human emotions but doesn't fully understand them in herself or others <3#<- my headcanon...everything I ever say abouther is headcanon#the ONLY clip I've seen of her was when she showed up on the ship in her red robe (KILLER look)#and when that lady Georgie(?) said (paraphrased) 'we're a good ship - more or less'#Michael looked her DEAD in the eye and said 'less.' HEHEHE#I wish Discovery seemed to have more of Michael acting Vulcan-ish but it seems like she acts more human pretty much right away which isn't#what I personally want to see v_v not that it makes the show bad or anything - I just want to see very specific things HEHEH#also I literally cant with people who're like 'Why's her name Michael when she's a girl?' there are ALIENS. there's a guy named NOG. HEHEHE#bea art tag#st discovery#st discovery art
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Ellieās memory of the golfing scene and what it tells us about her.
šØspoilers for tlou2šØ
I think Ellieās flashback to Joelās death is very telling of how she internalized the event and the meaning she applied to his death. Itās also a good demonstration of her relationship to autonomy. Letās break down the elements that were inconsistent with the actual event:
The stairs/hallway are much longer than they were. This suggests a sense of helplessness, an inability to get there fast enough. Joel is constantly out of reach.
There is blood on the floor outside of the door. Not entirely certain on this one but my hunch is that she blames herself for not seeing more obvious signs of violence/not knowing something was wrong sooner.
The door is locked, another roadblock in her path to Joel. She canāt access him, she canāt help, he needs her and she isnāt there.
Most importantly. Joel yells āEllie, help meā (which he didnāt in the actual scene, he just screams. He doesnāt say a word in the actual scene)
Ellie hearing Joel scream for her help, calling for her while being horribly beaten, and her being repeatedly impeded on her way to him suggests that what she took away from his death is that she wasnāt enough. They always helped each other, always had each others backs, always got up. Ellie views his death as a failure. She was too slow, too weak, not smart enough to save him. She failed him when he needed her most. She is absolutely helpless to save him, just like she was helpless to save Riley, Tess, Sam, and Jessie (and Marlene, and humanity, and and and-).
Once again, Ellie makes a decision (staying with Riley, going to the fireflies, staying with Joel, being the cure, trying to forgive Joel) and once again her autonomy and ability to find closure is ripped from her.
This is the inciting incident of tlou pt2, this is the moment where Ellieās whole world shatters the same way Joelās did at the start of pt1. Ellie enters into the same cycle (which I like to call the āJoel cycleā becauseā¦ yeah.) that he did, and throughout pt2 she stays in the ā20 years laterā phase of the cycle. She is changed, she has lost her light, lost what she fought for. She lost her chance to genuinely forgive Joel and rebuild their relationship. She is stuck in a gruelling and violent world that she has no anchor in, at least not anymore. His death is so sudden and so incredibly violent that it practically gave her (and me as well, tbh) whiplash. Sheās in a state of total shock.
On another devastating note, this is one of the three times in tlou that we see Ellie beg (that I remember). The first is begging Joel to get up at the university of Eastern Colorado, the second is begging him to get up and for Abby to stop, and the third is begging Abby to not kill Dina because sheās pregnant. (Two times she begs Joel to get up, one time he doesnāt. Two times she begs Abby to spare her family and one time she does. What a beautifully haunting contrast)
To wrap up, every person creates an internal narrative, a story of their life that is crafted from their context and lived experiences. The meaning we derive from those experiences doesnāt always reflect the truth, and that can sometimes bite us in the ass majorly when we experience a traumatic event. We tend to want to find someone or something to assign blame to, some reason or rationale to why it happened. We tell stories. We write them in our minds about ourselves and what happens to us and what that says about us.
But Ellie is wrong. Joelās death happened in response to a conscious and willing choice he made. It is in no way her fault, and there was absolutely no way for her to know or to stop what was happening. I think Ellie knows that much on an intellectual level, It just doesnāt change how devastated she is over the whole event. It canāt change the fact that she FEELS as though this was all her fault, that Joel did what he did to save her, that she could have saved him. That she should have.
#this isnāt a new thought#like Iām p much just stating what happened in the game#this is not some super deep meta analysis of tlou#itās just.#Ellieās relationship to autonomy is so so so good#ellie the last of us#joel the last of us#ellie williams#joel miller#tlou series#tlou show#tlou1#tlou spoilers#tlou analysis#I have SO MANY drafts that are like. walls of text#weāre talking Great Wall of China long#tlou2#basically what I said in previous posts about how ellie picked up Joelās stoic attitude and emotional constipation.#ellieās screams lolol. my heart breaking in real time.#joel goes golfing HD!!!#the way her voice breaks as she begsā¦ OWIE#Neil druckmann needs to pay for my therapy fr!!#I edited this because it had someā¦ really bad grammatical errors#syntax??? whatās that????#anyway normally I donāt put much thought or effort into my actual wording of Tumblr posts#because like maybe 10 people will see it. who cares.#but this one is one I actually care a bit about and this whole thing could be written about in so much more depth.#so I went in and tried to clean it up a bit and added some thoughts.#tlou#the last of us
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Super angry at arc 3 of arcane btw. They rushed to close everything up and it shows
#the characters are so empty#like legit the only one with normal character development is jinx. like. the only one o get where she comes from is JINX.#Also Ekko. loved what they did for him there. everyone gets desolation and he gets a slice of life romance with the (doomed) childhood crush#no one is doing it like him#but also. they donāt even MENTION isha. like. I get it. she died. itās devastating. but?#what the fuck you go onto the next thing?? WHAT THE FUCK#and I wonāt even touch Viktor āāāIām gonna build a place to heal peopleā to āeveryone is a hive mind machine nowā like WHAT#ngl I thought the fandom would be like Jayce I stand by my cancelled wife and all#BUT THE CANON WENT AND JUSTā¦.DEPRIVED VIKTOR OF CARE AND HUMANITY? HE IS JUST A WEAPON AND A CALAMITY NOW I GUESS??#Like yeahā¦.he was doomed from the start with the sickness and the canon and all but? thereās doomed by the narrative and thereās likeā¦#WE WILL PUT HOLES THROUGH YOU AND LACK OF CARE AMD COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING UNTIL YOU FUCKING GET YOUR DOOM#GET WITHTHE NARRATIVE VIKTOR YOUARE EVIL#āno I am just healing people from shimmer which is very bad and harmful and painfulāā#NO VIKTOR YOU ARE EVIL SEE? THAT WHY I KILLED YOU BC YOUARE EVIL#existence became so painful to him he went and said no thereās not fixing this. I am throwing my emotions in the waste bin and go machineā#WHY DOESNT HE GETS TO BE ANGRY AND BETRAYED? LIKE AT LEATS SILCO GOT TO BE RIGTEOUS#WHY IS THIS SHIT AGAIN THEY TRY TO KILL YOU BC YOU ARE EVIL AND THEY TURN YOU INTO EVIL BC WHATS LEFT BUT THEN THEY WERE RIGHT TO DO IT??#LIKE. no. Iām sorry but no. fuck that Iām out.#FUCK THIS SHIT I AM WO ANGRY#VIKTOR?? VIKTOR IS THE BIG BAD? THE THING THAT UNIFIES ZAUN AND PILTOBER? FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.
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I know I'm totes missing something about Vax and his whole deal (I haven't watched the original campaign & I'm like half way through LoVM)
But I thought the implication of Keyleth having a perch for the ravens was that those ravens ARE Vax? I have been thinking this entire time Keyleth hasn't gotten over Vax because he was actively visiting her. But the only way he could get away and see her is to be a raven.
Idk this shit sucks I hope this night lasts forever
#silver sending stones#cr spoilers#cr keyleth#vax'ildan#vaxleth#i feel like i did when watching that one episode of rwby where oz tells the kids he turned the branwens into birds#im just sitting here like āwait we didnt know that??ā#and its the same thing like āwait were those birds not vax?ā#ALSO (again i know im missing something) him not knowing about his nieces and nephews fucking sucks#like i dont know how to function with vox machina. because it all fucking sucks.#it hurts so bad and we're 30 years in the future and it still fucking sucks.#and like. i find it interesting that matt brought essiks brother up#hot boi who lives hella long also#kiki maybe you should look into that#and someone said that its only been like 3 years for Keyleth mentally because of how she ages.#so no wonders shes like this.#no wonder shes still hurt#so from what ive gathered i think vax's whole deal is that the matron severed all his emotional ties to his friends and family#hes a little numb to it all. the world.#im sure its more complicated than that and im making this post to be told āwhat the fuck is up with thatā#idk this sucks give me a happy ending challenge
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me: hey, so i feel like you maybe disregarded my saying that caretaking on top of work and school and pre-planned travel is a lot for me right now and iām not comfortable with all of that pressure being on me alone when i wanna make sure you guys have everything you need when iām not aroundā¦
my family: of COURSE we heard you, thatās why we started doing a bunch of things by ourselves at great cost to our physical well-being instead of asking you for help!!!!!!
me:
#my number one emotion right now is wanting to move across the country out of spite as soon as my mom is fully mobile again#i am sooooooooo done#i had recommended looking into options for home care and my mom supposedly did#but then today she was like āidkā¦ thereās just nothing that isnāt medicalā¦ thereās no optionsā#so i googled ācaretaker help [name of our city]ā and found dozens of people IMMEDIATELY#sent her several links#idk iām just really pissed off#all iām suggesting that they do is make a plan in case something like this happens again#and they seem FLABBERGASTED#my mom-mom literally said to me multiple times āpeople donāt usually plan for bad things happening to themā#and itās like. dude. your daughter is literally lying there in a cast right now bc she fell down the goddamn stairs#the bad thing DID happen!!!!!!!#so now that youāre THINKING ABOUT IT maybe make a plan for next time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i was VERY nice about it#no bad wordsā¦ no insultsā¦ measured and calm toneā¦#but they were treating me like i was being crazy and unreasonable and i just donāt GET itā¦#i know it can be hard to ask for help but this is honestly delusional#my mom hasnāt taken a vacation in over three years because sheās NEVER looked into home care before#and neither she nor my mom-mom are happy about thatā¦ theyāre always venting to me about it#my mom about how she wants to get out more and my mom-mom about how she feels like a burden#and itās like. my dudesā¦#just hire someone!!!!!#like. three hours a day topsā¦ just to check in!!!!!#it wouldnāt be that hard!!!!!!!#am i nuts?????? someone reality check me please#i need something firm to grasp onto
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Dabi is surprisingly a lightweight. You honestly wouldāve never figured by looking at him, but as you think back on it, youāve never really seen him drink a lot. Not when there were celebratory parties, or when things didnāt go right for him. Itās why youāre so shocked when you convince two shots into his system, why he suddenly looks so loose, why his grin splits so wide.
Heās a clinger, youāve also learned as youāve started observing the blue eyed man where he shoves his face into the crook of your neck. His body bends over almost uncomfortably to fit into the position, and you canāt help but flinch a little when his damp breath blows a quiet little raspberry on your flesh.
omg wait my favorite thought is of you not even necessarily being a heavyweight, you can just handle your liquor a little better than anyone expects. you love to knock back drink after drink, convince Dabi into some stupid competition that he falls for because heās such a little nerd and secretly wants to impress you. he does it thinking youāll be the drunk one first, the one hanging off of his arm and hopefully his dick by the end of the night.
it belatedly shocks him when itās the exact opposite. when heās slurring a little and smiling at you, when you watch him through low eyes with a wide grin, when he wraps himself around you like a python, when you shake his face gently as you squish his cheeks together in hand. heās just so utterly obsessed with you in these moments, and maybe itās the liquor in him, but he knows his lowered inhibitions are only bringing forth the feelings heās always suppressed.
drunk sex with Dabi where heās the one too loose limbed and limp and weak. he flops onto bed like some rag doll with his arms and legs spread wide, but he musters up enough strength to release the heavy weight of his cock from its confinements. doesnāt do much besides lift his head from the pillows with a point to his crotch and a lazy grin, an announcement of, go ahead and hop on already before heās flopping back down again, ready to lay back and get fucked like how he knows he deserves.
#at first I wrote about him getting whisky dick and not even realizing it and being so embarrassed about it the next morning#but it made me laugh too hard and I was like#no one will enjoy that dude shut up AJSHDKDJDJD#but omg lightweight baby that can only cling to you and whine to go back to your room to fuck#only to pass out immediately on the bed lmfao#I love him Iām gonna str*ngle him so bad#anyway I finished all my work for the week and now I feel empty so I will be moving onto next weeks work tomorrow LOL NERD#but everything next week is simple too so why not get it out the way ya know????#after that I might sit down and actually write another fic since itās been a little minute#everyone voted for therapist obsessed bkg next but I kinda wanna write something emotional for touya now lmfao#Iām becoming so obsessed with him and it HURTS!!!!!#I can only handle one āš» at a time or else I start getting the shakes#also omg my regular dr is making me go to the heart dr bc she said my anxiety worries her for my physical condition aksjdj embarrassing#okay bye Iām gonna read a little and sleep#ānew treat in the streets! š«#dabi treats! š¬#tw: alchohol mention
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