#and like I massively prefer movies that are more terror than horror don’t get me wrong and that’s what this movie was going for I think

[blodeuweddschild]

I have got to stop taking tiktoks horror movie recommendations

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #481

Top Ten Pixar Villains

Those rascals and rapscallions at Pixar are famous for twisting our emotions, aren’t they? Perverse masters at making us cry with sadness or joy, often at the same time (I’m looking at you, Inside Out, with your yellow and blue marbles). Oh yes, they’ll stick the knife in and give it a good old yank, like John Travolta teaches his daughter to do in Face/Off when he’s not really John Travolta and it’s a bit icky but then she stabs him at the end of the film so it’s alright really.

Where was I?

Oh yeah. Pixar, renowned for turning grown men into blubbering messes, mostly because an adult character was convinced to part with old toys he no longer plays with. But I’d argue that one thing they’ve done less well than their parent studio (that’s Disney) is crafting iconic baddies. I mean, we all know the Disney Villains; they’re so iconic and successful as pop culture icons that there’s an entire trilogy of movies based on what would happen if a bunch of them had kids (apparently they’d sing a lot). Pixar baddies though? Hmmm, maybe not quite so iconic. I can’t see someone making a live action prequel movie about Chef Skinner.

But that’s not to say they’re not great; in fact, rather than going down the route of snarling, moustache-twirling villainy, Pixar actually does a great job in creating antagonists instead. Sometimes they’re misunderstood; sometimes they’re not the person you thought they were! Quite often some kind of redemption is offered, and the villains are very, very rarely dropped off something tall. A lot of them aren’t even defeated, so to speak! A good deal of nuance and shade goes into a Pixar villain, and if they haven’t made as many all-time-great iconic ne’er-do-wells, it does seem as if their approach is starting to rub off on Disney mothership (the likes of Frozen II and Moana either don’t have, or at least subvert, the notion of all-powerful bad guys).

So what do we have? Well, hopefully, we’ve got a list of really cool villains from Pixar movies. most of them are presented as the film’s “big bad”, although there are a couple of lesser baddies. And I think we do see the pattern emerging, of more mundane levels of villainy; the selfish and greedy and damaged. It makes for great characterisation and some beautiful storytelling; some complex and pitiable characters. And, yes, a few absolute bastards too. Let’s tut disapprovingly.

Lots-o’-Huggin’ Bear (Ned Beatty, Toy Story 3, 2010): a superb performance from Beatty as a seemingly nice, jovial old bear who’s really a manipulative, power-hungry, gaslighting bully. Realistically portrayed as damaged and bitter, he has a tragic backstory that feels real, and a sense of pain and loss that feels earned in this universe. Questions the nature of everything the movies are about, and is a genuine threat in more ways than one. Plus he literally leaves them all to die in the furnace!

Syndrome (Jason Lee, The Incredibles, 2004): Buddy Pine’s backstory is one of belittlement and rejection, so his switch to villainy is as well explored as many a comic book bad guy. But he’s interesting partly in what his character says about Mr. Incredible – in a way justifying the criticisms of superheroes, as Mr. I does ignore the admittedly-annoying Buddy rather than mentoring or respecting him – but also because he prefigures notions of toxic masculinity about a decade or so before they became, well, a threat to global democracy.

Al (Wayne Knight, Toy Story 2, 1999): Like how Lots-o can be seen as a dark examination of toy life (all toys are replaceable, kids don’t really love you, etc), Al also shows us another dark facet of toy-dom: namely the life of a “collectable”. Toys, in this world, want to be played with, preferably by children, so a big ol’ man-child who stores them in boxes or puts them on display is not ideal. It’s an inversion of what a toy is for; an object of joy reduced to a commodity. Is it entertainment versus art? Who can say? Also, he’s really just a massive jerk and a huge slob, so we feel no pity for him once he gets his comeuppance at the end of the film.

Sid Phillips (Erik von Detten, Toy Story, 1995): man, they nailed the Toy Story villains, didn’t they? Maybe there’s even more to come! But right out of the gate, Sid was a classic. An utter sadist in a skull t-shirt, torturing toys for kicks; adults can see the traits of a genuine sociopath (some serial killers start by torturing animals, remember!), and he’s portrayed like a character in a horror movie. Seriously, in 1995, Sid’s room was legitimately disturbing. I’m not sure what moral lessons his actions teach us, but just as a pure article of terror, he’s supreme.

Hopper (Kevin Spacey, A Bug’s Life, 1998): it feels a bit weird, if I’m honest, to celebrate a Spacey performance. But as a character, Hopper is excellent, one of the best things about the generally-overlooked-but-still-a-bit-lesser-Pixar Bug’s Life. Riffing on biker gangs, Hopper’s locust swarm in, revving their wings. Hopper’s a classic tough guy thug, dominating through violence and threat; a creature with a small amount of power determined to hold onto it, and ultimately eaten by a terrifying bird. Just don’t look at the cast list.

Ernesto de la Cruz (Benjamin Bratt, Coco, 2017): after the horror of Sid and the thuggery of Hopper, de la Cruz is a different, more insidious villain. He’s a thief and a betrayer who exploited and murdered his best friend, condemning him not just to death but to a forgotten obsolescence in the afterlife. He’s a perfect example of the gaslighting, friendly-seeming bad guy, more in the mould of Lots-o, but with the world on his side and a sweet guitar. Genuinely hissable.

Stinky Pete (Kelsey Grammar, Toy Story 2, 1999): what, more Toy Story? Well, yeah. Don’t blame me, blame Pixar. And so Stinky Pete; a far more relatable and understandable villain, one driven to desperation through a lifetime of rejection and broken promises. Unlike the Machiavellian, power-hungry Lots-o, Pete just wants everyone to retire quietly together; he can’t accept the risks of freedom and only becomes sneaky and, indeed, violent after all else fails. But he does kinda get a happy ending, even if he doesn’t realise it; this is a villain who I feel could eventually be redeemed.

Randall Boggs (Steve Buscemi, Monsters, Inc., 2001): Waternoose is the real baddy in Monsters, Inc., of course; a conniving capitalist who’s prepared to sacrifice the world’s children to keep his monopoly. But it’s Randy who sticks in the mind; his selfish, vain lackey, a monster with a huge chip on his shoulder. His design – lizard-like, snake-ish, with a huge mouth and invisibility – is seriously disturbing. Hearing Buscemi’s voice come from that form – an aggravated teacher, a furious accountant – adds something special, something darkly hilarious.

Evelyn Deavor (Catherine Keener, Incredibles 2, 2018): visually and conceptually, The Screenslaver (great name) is pretty cool, but when it’s revealed that the Big Bad is really under-appreciated tech genius Evelyn, that’s a great twist. A smart woman propping up her schmoozing brother, her criticisms of the heroes – like Buddy Pine’s – have resonance, although she’s learning the wrong lessons from tragedy. Her relationship with Elastigirl, from friendship to enmity, is very well-written and performed, and her belligerence at the end is a nice touch, denying the heroes of any catharsis from her capture.

Shelby Forthright (Fred Willard, WALL-E, 2008): I was originally going to feature the autopilot, but then I figured, if you can get Fred Willard in your list… and really, who’s the big villain here? It’s us, right? We killed the Earth. But Willard’s smiling, happy CEO is there, encouraging his customers to buy, promising them safety and security, promising them a repaired world… but really he’s shovelling them off the planet, secretly commanding the computer to take humanity far away and never look back. It’s a devious, horrible plan, giving the people unending luxury, making them want for nothing, turning them into fab, soporific blobs, basically because that’s easier than the alternative. It’s a horrible indictment of humanity (also: he’s the CEO of a company, but also – it looks like – that makes him rule the world? Creepy). So, yeah, the autopilot might be a baddun, but it’s the man in charge who’s the real villain of the piece, even hundreds of years later.

Sadly no room for John Lasseter, who may not have tried to enslave humanity or torture children, but still managed to be a huge jerk and a phenomenal disappointment.

[somedayonbroadway]

Somewhat cursed (?) idea: Newsies/Gravity Falls (or a series like that).

Oooohhhhh...

Okay, so I’m gonna be completely honest, I didn’t grow up watching Gravity Falls. I was a Phineas and Ferb type of kid, but I always appreciated the idea behind Gravity Falls and I did watch the first couple of episodes the other day to get a little bit more of a feel for this AU.

Okay, so those of you who read my stories and my outlines know that I am a sucker for angst, so this AU is gonna be less of a children’s cartoon and a little bit more… well… not real… but… I don’t know… more angsty?

Anyways, here we go!

Gravity Falls AU

Characters

Jack Kelly — Dipper

Racetrack Higgins — Mabel

Katherine Plumber — Wendy

Medda Larkin — Stan

Just to be clear, the personalities here are not an exact match 😂

Anyways,

Jack Kelly

A seventeen year old orphan.

He and his little brother are sent to a new placement in a town called Gravity Falls with a foster mother, one Miss Medda, who has a fascination with the unexplained.

Jack has never really believed in the things she seems to find so amazing.

He loves horror movies but often tries to rationalize them which drives his little brother just about insane.

He’s OCD and a bit of a control freak, but it’s the thing that typically keeps him out of trouble.

Before Medda, he and his little brother had been in a few less than nice homes, so Jack was used to keeping Race occupied and out of the house.

During the first week with Medda, she gives him an old, mysterious book that has an odd number three on the cover

Jack becomes obsessed with the book and studies it, not necessarily believing it’s real at first, but talking about it like it is

He has ADHD and has trouble sitting still

Often overthinks scenarios and obsessively makes lists when he’s overwhelmed or trying to figure things out.

He loves to explore and loves to figure out the history of wherever he’s placed, even though he often believes it won’t last long.

He has a massive crush on one of Medda’s employees and flirts with her often

Jack is first introduced to the supernatural forces around him during a walk in the woods

He catches one of his neighbors, a boy named Charlie, practicing magic in the woods.

After the initial terror is worked through, Charlie becomes Jack’s friend. One of his best friends.

He’s told he has to keep it a secret from everyone, though most of the town is involved in theories and mysterious phenomena

Jack is forced to let the secret out when he discovers his little brother new friend, Graves, is a vampire

This is when Charlie, more affectionately known as Crutchie, tells Jack more secrets about the town and introduces Jack to Albert, a vampire who promises to help Jack’s brother

After this incident, Jack quickly gets swept up into the world of the unexplained 

He’s terrified of ghosts. He doesn’t like that they don’t have many rules

Racetrack Higgins

The little brother to Jack and basically Jack’s whole world for a long time

He’s fifteen.

He’s slightly naive and a hopeless romantic

Though he loves horror movies, he prefers romance dramas.

He always seems to be full of energy, despite being slightly abused before. Jack always took the brunt of it for him.

While he’s always curious and a bit of an adventurer, he’s often forced to stay back by Jack

He has ADHD, just like Jack.

Often, he attempts to lighten the mood and is seen as ridiculous and over the top, but Jack knows it’s mostly for his sake

Unlike Jack, Race hates to make plans and enjoys running in head first and winging it

Again, Race is a hopeless romantic and is perceived as a bit of slut by most of the kids at many new schools that he attends. Despite this, he remains optimistic about finding a boyfriend

Graves is the first person to show interest and Race is infatuated with him

It’s because Graves wants him to be

Jack tries to tell him he’s under a spell of some kind, but Race tells him he’s crazy

Graves lures Race into the wood, planning on kidnapping him and feeding his blood to his flock

Albert, Jack and Crutchie save his life and Albert becomes Race’s best friend.

Race is understandably frightened after this encounter and spends a lot of time in Jack’s room, finding the book that Jack has annotated and color coded

He becomes obsessed with the book too

He memories almost every outlined supernatural being and ways to deal with them

He eventually dates someone named Drake, a telepath with telekinesis who nearly kills Jack after becoming obsessed with Race

He is extremely creative and gets Jack out of trouble time and time again by thinking outside of the box

Though it appears to most that Jack is extremely protective of Race, most underestimate the lengths Race would go to protecting Jack

After many odd and dangerous dates with many boys with bad agendas, Race eventually meets Spot

Spot is a dark angel, also known as a demon

Jack and him don’t get along.

Race really likes him

Eventually, Race gets bit by Graves and Albert has to suck the venom from him before he turns into a vampire

Katherine Plumber

Katherine is an eighteen year old part time employee and Medda’s Mystery Shack.

While she’s very peppy and girly, she’s never afraid to get her hands dirty and join Jack and Race in figuring out Gravity Falls mysteries.

She knows Jack has a crush on her, if not from him flirting, from Race who constantly tells her.

She treats Race like her own little brother

While she enjoys hearing stories about the unexplained and the supernatural, she doesn’t believe any of it exists until her and Jack and Race and some of her friends get trapped in an abandoned convenience store

This is the first time she sees how brave Jack can be as he is the one who convinced the ghosts to let them go  

While she introduces herself as Plumber, her real name is Pulitzer, though she doesn’t like to admit it.

Joseph Pulitzer is a rich businessman trying to buy the town. He wants to cut down the forest which would cost many mythical beings their home and Medda her business

When Jack and Race are new to town, many are hostile towards them as they’re outsiders. Katherine always stands up for them.

Though she is extremely girly, she has tremendous strength and is a really good fighter

She speaks three languages, English, Spanish and French and dabbles in Latin

Though she loves Medda, she often finds ways to blow of working and even has her own set up on the roof that she shows Jack

It’s the first place they kiss. Jack makes the first move and she can’t help but kiss him back even though she has a boyfriend at the time

She adores her boys and every person Jack befriends that belongs to the supernatural world.

She has amazing survival skills taught to her by her five older brothers. These come in very handy when her and her boys are in trouble.

Medda Larkin

Miss Medda Larkin is a supernatural enthusiast

She takes Race and Jack in after learning that their mother was an old friend of hers.

It is eventually discovered that it was their mother who wrote the book they’re so infatuated with

She runs a Mystery Shack, a tourist shop full of regular merchandise and odd ones

When Jack and Race first arrive, she lets them have one thing each, for free.

Jack takes a baseball cap and Race takes a necklace

Medda has known about the unexplained since she was a child.

Medda often sends the boys on odd errands which mysteriously get them into trouble

She is extremely protective of Jack and Race loves them unconditionally.

Medda is the only person to know that there is not only one mystery journal, but three.

She gives Jack the third journal in hopes that maybe he’ll find something she hasn’t.

She tells them a story about a young woman who went missing deep in the woods and asks Jack to try and solve the mystery.

That woman was Jack and Race’s mother

Not even Medda knows what happened to her

What do you guys think? Wanna hear about other characters? Let me know!

For Snyder as Triangle Bill, click here!

For more Mood Boards and AUs, click here!

[lilibetts]

The Wicked Forest Awaits You...

For Tricks and Treats of Riverdale, Theme 3: Seasonal Celebrations (Haunted House)

Rated E(xplicit) for some wicked fun!

Darkness falls across the land The midnight hour is close at hand Creatures crawl in search of blood To terrorize y'all's neighborhood And whosoever shall be found Without the soul for getting down Must stand and face the hounds of hell And rot inside a corpse's shell

I'm gonna thrill ya tonight I'm gonna thrill ya tonight Ooh, babe I'm gonna thrill ya tonight

The Wicked Forest was reportedly “the most un-hinged haunted attraction in Riverdale”. 

Betty had shown up as soon as the sun went down, and she still spent an hour waiting in line. Alone, of course. Every one of her friends would rather spend Halloween getting drunk at an off-campus party than indulging in the spooky atmosphere. Granted, she hadn’t actually told anyone where she would be going tonight, because the Wicked Forest was firmly in the Southside and as much as some people in the Northside liked to brag or bluster, very few had the guts to actually cross the boundary lines.

That she had gave Betty an illicit thrill.

This year, she’d dressed up as a zombie schoolgirl: hair spray painted gray in a side ponytail to match her torn, bloody white blouse and desaturated gray plaid miniskirt. The face makeup was the most fun to apply, all those Youtube tutorials coming in handy. Gray foundation to give herself a deathly pallor on all expanses of exposed skin, black raccoon eyes, fleshy red ‘gouges’ on the side of her face, and dark red lipstick. 

She wondered what her friends would think if they knew she was actually dressing sexy for once. They probably wouldn’t believe it. 

A haunted house on Halloween was hardly the place to pick up a date, but for Betty, who had been gradually building up her confidence to sign up for Tinder, wearing knee-high white socks and no underwear made her feel like a bold, sexy woman.

“Betty?” a familiar baritone called out from behind her. She turned around and a guy she didn’t immediately recognize waved at her. “Hey.”

Squinting, she took in the mop of black hair and the slim body in a black-and-white skeleton shirt, leather jacket, black jeans and boots, and the skeleton face paint. “Jughead? Is that you? You look amazing!”

“Thanks. So do you.”

Jughead Jones had shared a few classes with her over the past two years. At first, Betty had found him and his voice annoying. She couldn’t be sure at what point over the past two years her feelings had evolved into a massive, uncontrollable crush. Naturally, in true Betty Cooper fashion, she didn’t have the guts to try and make a move and would rather throw herself into the vicissitudes of online hookups. 

Jughead ran a hand covered in fingerless gloves through his hair. “Do you want to go through together?”

“Sure!” She could’ve kicked herself for her bobblehead impersonation then. “So have you gone through this one before?”

“Twice as a guest, but I’ve worked it several times as well.”

“Really? What kind of characters did you play?”

“I did mostly forest work—a Jason Vorhees/Leatherface composite type with a hockey mask and chainsaw. One year I got to be a werewolf.” Jughead sounded more bashful than proud when he admitted that.

“I bet it was fun...I prefer to be on the receiving end of scares, though.”

“Unless it’s one of Chipping’s essay prompts,” he quipped.

Betty groaned and smacked his arm. “Don’t remind me. The last one was so stupid, wasn’t it? ‘Write your own ending to prove there’s no single way to tell a story...but’—”

“—’but I’m still going to pick a winner in the end!’” they both chorused, laughing at their shared derision.

After that they were quickly engrossed in a debate about the best Halloween movies to watch during the buildup to the holiday. Jughead’s preferences ran more towards the older classics and Hitchcock, Betty’s more towards relatively recent films like Hocus Pocus, The Addams Family, and Practical Magic.

Oddly enough, she discovered they both loved the cult hit Ginger Snaps. 

By the time they were at the head of the line, Betty was sure her blush was showing through the heavy makeup.

The general order of the Wicked Forest went like this: haunted house, a maze that led to the shed, a bridge over the creek, then the forest proper.

The baseboards creaked as they crossed into the dilapidated house; maniacal laughter and screams could be heard faintly in the distance. A ghostly apparition dressed like a long-dead bride lit up in the corner of the living room, moaning as its arm raised, pointing a finger at them. Betty gasped and hugged the wall as she moved into the kitchen, Jughead following close by. 

Smoky fog covered the floor, pouring from cauldrons. Made from dry ice, probably, and lit up by green lights. A witch cackled as she stirred her brew. In the corners, cages descended from the ceiling, people in them reaching out and begging for help.

She shared a wide smile with Jughead.

In the bathroom, they found a bloated dead body with red hair, dressed in all white, floating in the tub. “Disturbingly realistic,” Betty muttered to herself. In the dining room, a young woman was suspended up on the wall with long knives sticking out of her body. ‘All those who escaped me before will die’ was scrawled in blood around her body.

“I think she was in our English class last year,” Jughead whispered to Betty, her stomach queasy from the excitement.

They were herded into the basement, where they discovered that in order to get to the other side, they would have to go through a gauntlet of secret society members in dark hooded robes. A red carpet highlighted their path. After they’d taken a few steps past the first hooded figures, they all stepped forward, giving Betty and Jughead less space to escape. As if reading each other’s minds they moved faster, only for the hooded figures to step closer and closer.

One jumped into their path, exposing a Scream mask. Betty was not at all mortified by her little yelp of fright. Not at all.

From there, they were in a cool cellar with a dimly lit tunnel rising up to ground level outside. Cobwebs covered the top and sides and as soon as she spotted the giant spider on top, she had a feeling she knew what was coming. Sure enough, as soon as they passed underneath, the spider dropped onto their heads. Betty shrieked and ran the rest of the way through. 

“Oh my god, oh my god!”

Jughead was clearly laughing at her expense as they emerged outside. “What, are you scared of spiders, Cooper?” he teased her.

“Shut it, Jones.” She snapped back without heat. “Why are you even going through the attraction if it bores you?”

“Oh, it’s never boring. Maybe I’m just enjoying it more with you.”

She felt like she was back in sixth grade again. Should she pass him a note asking ‘do you like-like me? Circle y/n’?

Betty was grateful for the absurdly long lead time in between guests. It meant she wasn’t running into the group ahead or the group behind, like in most other haunted attractions she’d attended over the years.

As they entered the shed, the walls and floor tilted, disorienting her. Then Jughead was there, hand slipping into hers as he helped guide her to more even ground. Even after the floorboards started vibrating underneath them, neither let go of the other. Betty laughed with delight as they pushed through the heavy plastic curtains into an open space occupied by a scene out of a medical horror: a conscious, moaning woman was strapped down on a gurney while a man in a bloody doctor’s mask and lab coat performed what looked like a lobotomy on her, bits of brain matter leaking outside her head. Her chest was held open by a spreader, the bloody mass of her internal organs on display.

“Ew, ew, ew!” Betty stomped her feet and pushed Jughead onwards faster. “Too real!”

The trees pressed in on them more as the manmade pathway guided them to the small bridge that would take them across the creek and into the thick of the forest. Part of the way across, a small golden light came on in the distance, drawing her attention to the side. A hulking body unfolded itself before howling at the night sky above.

Betty didn’t realize Jughead was right behind her until her back was pressed into his front and his hands gripped her hips. She turned her head without taking her eyes off the werewolf. “Your old job?”

“Yeah, me and Fangs used to partner during this bit.”

“Partner?”

A dark shape darted in between the bridge railings, grabbing at her ankles. Jughead’s giggles were almost as loud next to her ear as her startled shrieks before she took off to the other side. She had to remind herself to breathe deeply and calm herself down while they moved on.

Maybe it was the near pitch black of the forest that made her brave, but Betty reached out and slid her hand back in Jughead’s. They shared shy smiles that made hope bloom inside her. 

There was a decrepit school bus sitting right there in the middle of the trees. Not sinister at all. Jughead made a gallant ‘after you’ motion, sweeping low with his bow. Betty fanned herself and simpered, “such a gentleman!”

“Nonsense! I’m merely ensuing you die first, my dear.” His upper crust British accent was atrocious.

“You sounded like Niles Crane from Frasier.”

She forced herself to stop snickering as she stepped up into the bus. At first glance, all the people in the seats were dead or otherwise inanimate. Carefully, she made her way down the narrow aisle, hugging her arms to herself in anticipation of the movement she knew must be com—

“AH! FUCK!” 

Betty twisted around and saw Jughead pressed up against seats opposite a softly hooting ghoul still reaching out for him with gnarled fingers. 

At the front, a burly man wearing a black balaclava stood up suddenly, facing them with an enormous, shiny knife. The momentary relief on Jughead’s face morphed to fear and Betty didn’t have to be told twice as they booked it out of the bus, one more monstrous figure trying to impede their progress.

“So much for the unflappable Jughead Jones,” she started after they caught their breath and made sure the man in the black hood wasn’t following them any longer.

“Har har, I am humbled.”

After that point, the path became increasingly bumpy and overgrown and Betty couldn’t see well enough to stop herself from lurching to and fro. Jughead was right there by her side, using his arm around her waist to keep her from face-planting in the dirt. Given that she was wearing low block heels, she had no idea how some of the other guests were doing this in three inch stilettos.

Maybe it was their surroundings, maybe it was Jughead’s touch that was responsible for her heart continuing to pound wildly. Branches closed in on them before they exited into a small clearing. A fire roared in a pit, the sudden brightness making her eyes hurt and eclipsing what was happening along the treeline. 

“Whoa,” Jughead murmured, alarmed, causing her to squint harder.

People had stepped into the firelight, wearing dark hooded sweatshirts and gray gargoyle masks. Growling could be heard behind them and when Betty and Jughead turned, an inhumanely tall figure stepped around the bushes, with a long robe, some kind of blooded animal skull mask with horns, branches for wings, and a necklace of bones.

The minions stepped closer, closing ranks menacingly. This time, it was Jughead who grabbed her hand and tugged her past the leader and the wooden placard that proclaimed that the creature was the Gargoyle King, and back into the dark forest.

They stumbled along for another minute before Jughead muttered something to himself that sounded vaguely like “ah, fuck it”. 

He led her over to the rope boundary that made up the path and stepped over it.

“What are you doing?”

“Shh! I know this place like the back of my hand. It’s just the lame clown shit ahead. Do you trust me?”

Betty didn’t know about trust, but she was totally down for whatever they might get up to out there. Alone. “Hmm-mm,” she nodded and stepped carefully over the rope too. Together they made their way down a slope and around a cluster of bushes.

She found herself pressed back against a thick tree trunk, warm lips on hers, and the sounds of excited screams nearby reminding her that they weren’t alone. Betty raised up onto her tiptoes and pulled Jughead closer as she kissed him all the more eagerly. 

The heat of his hands could be felt through her shirt while he cupped her breasts, making her tilt her head back to moan.

“Shhh,” he whispered softly this time before dotting soft kisses along her neck.

Their face makeup must be horribly messed up by now but Betty didn’t care. She wanted to take him back to her dorm room, or go to his, and do all the wicked things she’d been fantasizing about.

A little exhibitionism was fun, though.

By the time Jughead slipped his hands underneath her skirt and discovered her little secret, she was incredibly wet. Wet enough for him to let out a quiet expletive and a shuddering sigh as his fingers glided along her inner lips. He quickly removed his glove and slid two up into her, stroking slowly before rubbing steady circles over her clit. Back and forth he went, until she was groaning and bucking her hips against his hand as she came embarrassingly fast.

Apparently haunted houses make for excellent foreplay.

Reaching for the button of his jeans,Betty ignored his protests of “you don’t have to”. It was her turn to shush him as she lowered herself onto her knees and took him into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the head of his shaft to get him nice and wet. Jughead did his best to not thrust into her mouth and his panting breaths were harsh in the relative silence of the night. He lost control towards the end, she could feel him shaking as his hips canted forward and salty wetness burst onto her tongue. 

Veronica was definitely not going to believe her when she told her what she’d done tonight.

They held hands and grinned broadly as they rejoined the path behind another group. When a tall, demented clown caught sight of them in the intense blue light, he groaned and ripped off his mask. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Jones? Were you two fucking off-path? Fucking seriously?”

Jughead only offered his friend a careless shrug. “Hey Sweets, how’s tricks?”

Betty, however, pressed closer against his side and smiled serenely up at the taller man. “Because I’ve already gotten the treat.”

‘Sweets’ groaned at the pun and waved them on. “Just get out of my forest, you freaks.”

They snickered as they made it to the end where a flatbed full of bales of hay was hooked up to a tractor, waiting to take them back around to the entrance. Jughead glanced over at her then, and Betty had to bite back another laugh. His makeup pretty much announced to everyone what they’d been up to, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Orgasms and finally hooking up with your crush would do that.

“So, would it be too weird for me to ask if you wanted to go out to lunch with me this weekend?”

(His answer was an immediate and resounding yes.)

[adriannaelle]

Treehouse and Chill

The Simpsons reached another milestone this year with the recent airing of its thirtieth “Treehouse of Horror” special which, coincidentally, is the show’s 666th episode. While certainly not the best installment of this annual series, “Treehouse of Horror XXX” was pretty funny. Still, even the funniest jokes in this episode pale in comparison to some of the classic “Treehouse of Horror” specials. To this day, iconic segments such as “The Shinning”, “The Devil and Homer Simpson”, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, and “Citizen Kang” are still hard to top.

So, in honor of Halloween, thirty years of scary tales, and 90’s nostalgia, I want to briefly discuss my favorite five episodes of the Treehouse of Horror series. As always, ranking articles like these are subjective and are based on personal taste. Therefore, I don’t care if you nor yo’ mama thinks “Treehouse of Horror III” was trash. It’s still going on this list!

Alright, let us continue.

Honorable Mentions: “Treehouse of Horror II”, “Treehouse of Horror VIII”, and “Treehouse of Horror X”

Number Five: “Treehouse of Horror VII” (Season 8, Episode 1; 1996)

Although “The Thing and I” was a strong first segment, I enjoyed it least in “Treehouse of Horror VII”. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the story was pretty funny, I just like the second and third stories better. However, I do have a bone to pick with the ending of “The Thing and I”. Instead of confining Bart to the attic, why not keep both Hugo and Bart around after they discovered Bart was the evil twin? I mean, the family already lived with Bart for 10 years. They might as well kept the mistake going.

“The Genesis Tub” was amusing.  It may be the creative in me, but I really enjoy the concept of creating your own world and overseeing it.  Still, I felt the ending of “The Genesis Tub” was a bit abrupt.  I feel like the writers could have done so much more with the concept of Lisa creating and ruling her own Universe. Maybe she could have assaulted Bart with more fighter pilots. Maybe she could have built a massive ray gun a la the ray gun seen in “Citizen Kang”.  The ideas are limitless.

Speaking of “Citizen Kang”, this story is one of my favorites in the entire Treehouse of Horror series.  It's a brilliant satirical take on elections in the United States and the country’s politicians.  I especially like how the writers make fun of our ridiculous two-party system.  Like really, are our only choices between a drooling, Gangreen Gang, cyclops squid, and his twin sister?  Ross Perot should have brought up Kang’s and Kodos’ emails.  That always works.

Number Four: “Treehouse of Horror III” (Season 4, Episode 5; 1992)

Akin to my feelings about “Treehouse of Horror VII”, I’m only a big fan of two of the three segments in “Treehouse of Horror III”.  “King Homer” was just a’ight to me. Granted, the segment did have a great exchange between Mr. Smithers and Mr. Burns about the former’s distaste of seamen and women mixing.  Yet overall, I didn’t get a kick out of this story as much as I did the other two.

“Clown Without Pity” is a parody of the lauded Twilight Zone episode “Living Doll”.  This segment had its share of funny jokes, particularly the line from Patty about losing the remaining thread of her heterosexuality after seeing Homer horrifically run through the house butt naked.  I also like how the key to turning off the Krusty doll’s murderous rage, is switching the lever from “evil” to “good”.  Like, what happens if the lever accidentally switches back?  What if it breaks and he gets stuck on “evil”?  Take the doll back and get a refund!  Like, what are y’all doing?!

Finally, there is “Dial ‘Z’ for Zombie”.  No matter how self-aware I am about the absurdity of my kinemortophobia (fear of zombies), I still have it.  That is why I hated this segment as a child.  But as a grown woman, I find this story very funny.  It’s a pretty simple zombie story, but the jokes strewn throughout are what make it a highlight of the series.  The joke about Homer being immune to the zombies because he lacks brains is one that stands out in particular.  Also, what are George Washington, Albert Einstein, and William Shakespeare even doing in Springfield?

Number Three: “Treehouse of Horror IV” (Season 5, Episode 5; 1993)

Choosing between “Treehouse of Horror IV” and “Treehouse of Horror V” as my second favorite episode of the series was the hardest.  Ultimately, I prefer V ever so slightly over IV, but IV is a heavyweight in its own right.  “The Devil and Homer Simpson” shows just how far our dimwitted protagonist is willing to go to get his favorite, sugary snack.  You got to be desperate as all hell to sell your soul for a donut!  Other than Homer’s enjoyment of his ironic punishment, the best part of the segment is the trial itself.  The Devil’s voir dire game is trash.  How do you select the jury and still lose the case?  Never hire this man for anything.

“Terror at 5 ½ Feet” is yet another hilarious spin on an old Twilight Zone classic. This parody of “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” stays true to the basic horror elements and story structure as the original tale, but, of course, adds its own Simpsons brand of humor to it. However, unlike the original, Bart is still tormented by the gremlin after he’s hauled off to the psych ward.  Side note, Ned Flanders really took a lot of L’s in this episode.

I’ve never seen nor read the original Dracula, so I do not know how faithful “Bart Simpson’s Dracula” is to the original story.  Well, I guess that doesn’t really matter here because this story is so funny and scary that it holds your attention from beginning to end.  From the super happy fun slide that leads to the vampires in the basement to Homer staking Mr. Burns (Burnscula?) in the crotch, this story provides many laughs that make this story a classic.  Also, the plot twist that Marge (Margecula?) is really the head vampire is funny as hell.  Sorry if that was a spoiler but in fairness, this episode is 26 years old now.

Number Two: “Treehouse of Horror V” (Season 6, Episode 6; 1994)

“Treehouse of Horror V” is solid from beginning to end.  “The Shinning” is firmly in my top five list of favorite Treehouse of Horror segments.  This segment has several hilarious moments, from Homer taking three days to make the voyage to the cabin due to his forgetfulness to the blood not getting off at the right floor, to that scene where the complete lack of television and beer made Homer go . . . something . . . hmm.  Well, anyway, I can definitely say that every time I watch “The Shinning”, I’m feelin’ fine.

“The Shinning” is not the only highlight of this episode.  Homer’s time-traveling escapade in “Time and Punishment” introduced us to numerous interesting alternative timelines that ultimately drove Homer to a pure state of “IDGAF” at the end.  Still sucks that he missed out on that donut rain.  That timeline would have smacked!  

This episode’s final segment, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, truly is the stuff of nightmares. I mean, it’s super funny now that I’m grown, but this segment used to legitimately scare me as a child.  It also didn’t help that I was a fat kid.  Like, imagine living your best life and then the next moment, you’re Ms. Wilson’s Fried Adri.  Woo, chile.

Number One: “Treehouse of Horror” (Season 2, Episode 3; 1990)

It’s often said that nothing beats the original, and in the case of Treehouse of Horror episodes, this sentiment rings true.  The very first Treehouse of Horror is the greatest episode of the series.  One of the highlights of this episode is the dulcet baritone of James Earl Jones as the mover, Serak the Preparer, and the narrator of “The Raven”.

The first segment “Bad Dream House” is a comedic spin on the classic haunted house movie trope.  The quintessential 80s style horror music that accompanies the story throughout greatly adds to the mood of the piece without overdoing it.  The conclusion of “Bad Dream House” is what makes this story so funny.  The house destroys itself rather than live with the Simpsons. I don’t know what it feels like to be curved by a house, but it must make you feel all kinds of insecure.  

“Hungry Are the Damned” is our first introduction to Treehouse staples Kang and Kodos.  It is also our introduction to the sorely missed Serak the Preparer, who definitely needs to return at least once in this series.  This segment parodies the classic Twilight Zone episode “To Serve Man” and gives us a humorous plot twist at the end.  I suppose this episode also serves as a sort of origin story of Kang’s and Kodos’ beef with mankind because this is the only episode where they are genuinely nice.  Dang, all Lisa had to do was sit down and eat her food. Literally.

Finally, there is “The Raven”, which is absolutely my favorite segment in any Treehouse of Horror Episode.  What I like most about “The Raven” is how the crew manages to add comedy to the piece without losing any of the mystique of Edgar Allen Poe’s riveting poetry.  It also made this poem a bit easier to understand, which I greatly appreciate.  It’s a refined piece of television without the pompousness of the bourgeois.  In short, I like it. 

Honestly, no matter which of the thirty Treehouse of Horror episodes you like best, all are great for watching on Halloween for squeamish, easy-to-scare people like me.  So for those of us who aren’t bravely equipped to watch the more realistic, gory, and scary productions, I highly recommend binge-watching these episodes for some softer scary vibes and lots of laughs.

[ephrampettaline]

...chatzy log with @aedanthewitch, @alessafalling, @collettemackenzie, @ianncardero, @ephrampettaline, @mayaparker, and @thisbrutalbelle

Adirondack chairs are the worst. Drinks are gotten by hook or by crook. The dance floor gets broken in. What’s the gossip? An impromptu fairground ride.

Iann should have been exhausted after going through that ordeal of the rifts, swallowing him up, terrorizing him and then spitting him back out. But he was oddly energized. Well, maybe not so odd for Iann; the man was an extrovert, and when he heard that there was some happening going on in Town Square, he curiously headed over to check it out. People were indeed gathered under a charmed invisible 'tent' to keep out the rain, playing guitar, hanging around in adirondack chairs and drinking beers, tailgating. It was almost normal. Which Iann supposed was what people were trying to rebuild now that the rifts were all gone.

Aedan tried to enjoy himself with a beer and a smile. After the madness and horror with Ruby, he wanted a long drink and to ignore the craziness. He was tempted to play the guitar with the rest of them but with his broken fingers, he didn’t think that would be very smart.

Culloden followed Iann into the tent, a big grin on her face. She was ready to party all night and enjoy herself after the horrible nightmare of the pocket world. This time she was wearing shoes, too!

It technically would be a good opportunity to set up a little promotional thing for Stonefruit, but the truth was Iann was too tired to do it himself, and he didn't want to ask anything impromptu from his similarly exhausted staff. Better for them to just try and get back into normal routine. He looked around, spotted Aedan in the distance, and also realized that Collette was tagging along behind him. "See anything you like, Cullie?"

Culloden ‘Hm? I think I fancy a drink and a dance. You wanna dance with me?’ She wrapped her arm around him with a beaming smile. ‘Let your moustache down.’

Iann put his arm around her shoulders. "Drink and a dance sounds great." Someone had thought to make a makeshift alcohol 'exchange' and Iann exchanged some money for what seemed to be magical hard cider. Good enough, he thought, opening one up for Collette. He bought three, handing one over to Aedan as they got closer. "Hey Aedan. I should shorten that. Heydan."

Culloden took her drink with a big smile and a thanks, taking a huge swig as Iann talked to his friend.

Aedan. huffed a laugh and took the offered one. ‘Heydan? Soon you’ll be calling me Danny Boy.’ He gave Iann a thankful nod and sipped the cider. ‘How’re you doing?’

"Pshaw, I'll leave Danny Boy to the unoriginal people. I'm just being efficient," Iann scoffed, clinking his bottle with Collette's first, then Aedans before he took a swig. It was crisp and tasted like apples and pears. "Better, now that it's all over. Me and Cullie here had quite the doozy, huh." Iann looked at Aedan. "Weren't you out of town? Hopefully missed all the shenanigans around here?"

Aedan. ‘Agh, not quite. Came home just in time to be dragged through to a weird nightmare realm with Rubes. Kraken and all.’

Bella wandered over to the rest of the people she recognised, taking a seat in one of the aforementioned chairs, she crossed her legs and sat right at the front of it, she couldn't sit at the back of it, her legs far too short. "Anything other than beer to drink?"

Ephram had opted to wear a knitted sweater and jeans to check out Town Square, rather than his uniform; he was already half in vacation-mind, after Freddie's announcement that they were headed out of town for the weekend, and it was very welcome following an inordinate number of pocket-world dives in his more official capacity as Sheriff. He, unlike Bellamy, had no problem with the adirondack chair, long legs eating up the space as he flopped down. "They had some sorter cider with basil in it, here, try one," he yawned, handing her a bottle and waving his own around at the others. "Hey there, Wee Deer, Essie, Collette, Carde--ah who cares."

Aedan raised his cider bottle with his non-broken hand to everyone who sat themselves down. 'Hey, Ephram.'

Bella took it but didn't imagine she'd like it, Cider and Beer tended to be far to bitter for her, the finishing taste was strong for humans so was tenfold for her. She took a tiny sip, the first taste pleasant, but as she expected what followed was not and shook her head as she handed it off back to him. "Nope," she wiped her mouth.

Ephram collected the cider back and set it down next to him, saying, "They had a sparkling rose version you might like! But I reckon if you asked, somebody could knock you up a martini or somethang. Hey, Aedan -- you know how to mix a drink, right? Or can you do that trick where you pull a bottle outta your own liquor cabinet remotely?" He caught sight of Aedan's bandaged hand, though, and gestured at it with his cider. "Got smashed up in a weirdsmobile world, buddy?"  Ephram pronouced the wine literally as 'rose' without the accent on the e.

Essie was finally off the clock. Wandering up to the group she perches gently on the arm of a chair beside Bellas elbow. Smiling gently and taking a drink of her soda.

Aedan 'The only drinks I can throw is a wee rusty nail. And I'm not tossing any today.' He raised his hand in indication and huffed a laugh, shrugging. 'Mhm, ship bulkhead. Was lucky I have magic or I'd have lost it.'

Ephram clucked at Aedan's explanation. "Me or Essie here might be able to fix it some, iffen you want." He maybe shouldn't have offered Essie's fairy dust without her say-so, but unfortunately Ephram tended to volunteer his people's assistance without thinking about it first.

Iann had gotten distracted by his phone, and when he returned he saw that the group had grown. He nodded a chin at Ephram, winked at Bellamy; but his eyes rested on Essie Caird for a quiet, heavy moment, before Iann looked over at Collette. "C'mon, you owe me a dance," he said, finishing his cider first and recycling the bottle before he held his hand out to the nymph.

Aedan made a small, noncommittal noise and shrugged. 'Nah, don't worry about it. It'll heal well enough. But thanks, though. I just prefer to do it naturally.'

Bella "Rose sounds delicious, can you do that Ess?" she asked, knowing Ephram had a fairly high chance of being able to but curious if Essie could. "Ooooh, or Sangria, fruits are fairie stuff, right?"

Collette. grinned when Iann appeared and took his hand as aid to pull her out of the deep chair. 'Come on, Happy Feet.' She handed Ephram the rest of her drink.

Ephram hummed in cheerful acceptance when Collette gave him her drink, never unhappy to be stocked with more cider.

Essie opens her mouth to speak up about her healing but is happy enough as the man she didn't know withdrew. Probably for the best. Catching Ianns eye she closes her eyes and looks away from him as he pulls Collette away. "I can find you some sangria if you want Bella." she hums with a small laugh.

Bella felt badly as she realised what Ephram had actually meant, leaning forward in her chair. "I'm not going to make you walk off, Ess, I'd only make Ephram," she giggled before standing from the chair. "I'll find something, bring you back some."

Essie almost topples off the chair as it tips sideways when Bella stands up suddenly. Standing up herself she links her arm with Bella "We can go find something more fruity together?" she offers to cover the almost disaster.

Iann The music was some impromptu folksy stuff - in that someone had a harmonica, another had a tambourine, and someone even had a hurdy gurdy, all earnestly playing with the guitar and what seemed to be a jazz flute. They were oddly up-beat and perky, and Iann got to the dance floor, hopping up and down on alternating feet like he was warming up to run a marathon. All that he needed at this point to complete the look of 'cis dude dance moves' was pointing his fingers in varying directions. "Okay I'll be honest, I just know fancy-dances, or rave dancing. You show me how you'd dance to this music, and I'll copy you."

Ephram crossed his legs, alternating among all his different drinks. "Bring me one of whatever you're gettin'!" he called to Bella and Essie, before reidrecting his attention to Aedan. "You was on a boat, you said? That must of been shitty. Bad enough trippin' into these whackadoo worlds on land much less on water."

'If I show you how to dance, we'll both be arrested for assault!' Collette's eyes creased in the corners as she grinned, watching Iann's dad-dancing. 'C'mere and take my hands.' And as the music amped up, she started to guide Iann into a two-person cèilidh dance.

Bella kept her arm closely linked with Essie's as they walked. "Okaaaaaaaaaaay," she drew out in response to Ephram as she looked around for a group of older women. They'd have Sangria or Rose or maybe some daiquiris. "How's your dust doing?"

Aedan 'I landed in a horror movie. Me and Rubes were on a wee boat diving. We thought we upset some war grave with ghosts or some shite. Instead, we get thwopped by this horror-warped kraken and forced onto a wee ship. Not a wee ship. It was a bloody massive ship, actually.'

Essie shrugs a little "It's back to normal. It's like...I ran out of the infection or something. I've been trying to do an awful lot better. Harder to actually do than say to yourself, you know the deal." she hums. "You been okay, now that these blight pockets are gone?"

Ephram shuddered. "I ain't never been on a big ship and I don't intend to," he announced, as if anybody actually cared to try and make him. "There's somethang bout the idea of them huge-ass ships out on endless deep water far as the eye can see that -- ugh. Ain't real comforting to a boy from the mountains."

Iann linked his hands with Collette, watching her feet with an intent curiousity. "Oh this isn't too bad. It's like square dancing," he grinned, swinging away from her, then trotting forward again and turning her. He didn't really stick to anything too traditional (not knowing what was considered 'proper) but just improvised a romp to the beat of the tambourine. "We'll get arrested for this? Was it illegal in the 1600s or something?"

Collette. burst into laughter as Iann swung her about. 'I meant... proper dancing! We'd kick people.' She swung back and came back in with the music. Others who seemed to know the dance started to mimic them. 'I'm from the 1700s, mister.'

Aedan moved his head from side to side and polished off his drink. 'It was god awful. And I'll tell you now, I'm never, ever going to do anything with an automatic door. Ever again.' He set his bottle down and glanced over at the dancing. 'So, what did you deal with in your nightmare world?'

Bella merely shrugged, she had rather liked them, she got to be tough, protect people, her abilities actually useful rather than their usual hinderance. To say she was a little disappointed when she had seen this event declaring them done would only look poorly though so she focused on the fact she could drink. "Perfect!" she insisted instead, pointing to a group of middle aged women with an abundance of sangria. "Hello ladies, mind if I buy some of your Sangria off you?" she asked pleasantly.

"Oh my bad. I always mix it up - 17th century, 1700s..." Iann said with a cheery shrug. "This is proper dancing!! I don't know what you're talking about, this is great. Look, we're starting a trend," Iann said, stomping a little harder. But when someone moved to switch partners and swing Collette, Iann dragged the nymph closer. "No way, pal - if I lose her I might not get her back," Iann said to the guy (who didn't mind, he just found another pair to trade with). But Iann was still reeling after his and Collette's experience on that haunted old ship in that other freak-ass world.

Ephram chortled, finishing Collette's drink. "Pal, you're talkin' to the town Sheriff -- I got a grand total of thirty-eight rando realities to choose from." He patted his knee with the bottom of the bottle, elaborating, "Maybe you felt it too, how the rifts opening pinged your magic? Anyhow I spent my time followin' them pings and jumpin' into the rifts on purpose. So it was ... a lot." He selected a new bottle, lifting it in Aedan's direction. "Hence the drinkin'. I'm well due for some R&R." Ephram socked down half of the drink, then followed Aedan's glance. "Feel like takin' a two-step? I don't mind if you don't."

Essie smiles politely at the women they approached, recognising one from the station a few times during all this mess. Essie digs in her pocket and produces some cash. "As much as you can spare please." she adds to Bellas proposal.

Collette. turned pink when Iann rebuffed another dancer, her smile only brightening. 'Now look who's being protective!' It reminded her of herself after Rockaway. They still needed to talk about the boat, but for tonight it was a mindless party.

Bella the women already quite intoxicated pat the girls on the shoulder and hand them one of the filled pitchers and some plastic cups. "We're all safe now, girls, best celebrate," one reasoned as Bella thanked them and headed off back in the direction of the group. "I'm glad it faded away and you're doing better."

"Psh, as if I need to protect you. I'm just being greedy," Iann grinned, because greed seemed to suit him better, in his opinion.

Aedan 'Pinged our magic?' he shook his head and rubbed his still sore ribs. 'Then again, I think it was all so crazy I wouldn't have noticed it even if I did feel it.' He glanced at the bottle Ephram started to drink and raised his brows. If anyone deserved it, it was the town sheriff. 'Sure. But try not to elbow me in the belly.' He gave Ephram a cheeky grin and pulled himself out of his chair.

Collette. 'You're the least greedy person I know, Iann. And I've known a lot of people.' She gave him a playful prod as they got close with the dance. 'It's okay to be greedy sometimes, though.'

Essie dropped Bellas arm to walk back with the cups in hand, letting Bella have both hands to carry the pitcher back. Recognising the dance as the 'gay gordons' she makes a noise of interest, it wasn't a well executed version but she supposed a lot of them didn't know the dance themselves and were just copying. "I am too, I'm working on getting back to normal normal, still a bit messy up in my head and all." she shrugs before asking "Wanna dance?"

Ephram scoffed as he lumbered to his feet, finishing his drink and gathering all his bottles to arrange carefully on the arms of his chair as some sort of marker that it was occupied. "In the face, maybe," he said, grandly sweeping Aedan in the crook of one elbow onto the dance floor. "In the throat, most likely. But never in the belly, Wee Deer." He grinned, swaying a little to the music to get a feel for it. "I'm /way/ too tall for that."

Aedan huffed a laugh as Ephram herded him out onto the dance floor. 'True. I doubt you could elbow anyone in the belly unless you were both lying down.' He followed the music, glancing over at the folk dancing Iann and his nymph had started.

Bella shook her head, she had a drink now and was under the impression most people would still be seated, when they weren't she just shrugged. "Go join everyone, I'll be the old maid drinking and waiting for everyone to get back." With that Bella sat the sangria down where they had once all been sitting and held out her hand for the cups.

Ephram nodded at Iann and Collette. "You know that one? I don't rightly, but I can git by with some clogging if that's what you're hankerin' for." Whistling lightly along with the music, Ephram started a lanky, hop-stomping sort of jig, tucking his thumbs into his belt-loops and looking for all the world as if he'd just come down off the mountain the day before.

"You're just heavily biased!" Iann retorted, laughing because he knew Collette meant it, and in the sweetest possible way. "But that's okay, I'll take it for now - but don't push me. Or I might just have to be terrible just for the sake of argument."

 'God, I don't think I've danced like that since I was a wee lad at the harvest festival.' Aedan raised his brows as Ephram did the oddest dance he'd ever seen. 'But it's worth a wee go, if you're up for it, Billy the Kid.'

Essie "If you're sure." she says leaving the cups with Bella to go and weed out a partner to dance with, teach the proper steps before being spun onto the next man to show him the correct steps, it felt wrong to let them butcher it after all.

Collette. 'Pssht, I don't think you could be horrible. To me, at least. My little moustachioed angel.' She gave him a playful cheek pat before swinging Iann about the dance floor in some next level folk dancing action.

Iann couldn't keep up with any footwork that was too complicated, plus he didn't really care anyway since this was all about fun, not a lesson. He resorted to his hopping and swinging Collette around, letting her do the light-stepping around him. He was happy to show Culloden off anyway, have her twirling and swishing around being pretty. He noticed Essie sternly giving a young fellow instructions on how to move to the dance and he grinned. "Your fellow Scotswoman's having a time of it," Iann pointed out to Collette. "You met Essie Caird, right?"

Collette. loved Iann's dancing, accurate or not to the actual dance. Seeing him have a good time made it all the better. She never realised that he was showing her off, though. If she had, she'd have started copying his dancing. 'That's the risk of showing Americans a traditional Scottish dance! The Scots will be upset when they get it wrong. It's our job to show them better.' She gave him a playful wink. 'But I watched Shinty with her at the highland festival a few months ago.'

Ephram snorted, holding out his hands for Aedan to take as he turned them in a circle before letting go again. "Hey, now -- this sorter thing is directly descended from my Highland and Ulster ancestors, mixed in with Cherokee and African-American. A more homegrown dance you never did see and don't you forget it, bucko." He laughed and prodded Aedan in the collarbone with one finger, saying, "You learned folk dancin' as a boy? That's where I learned this, was from family who did it proper."

Aedan made a noise of surprise when Ephram spun them about and couldn't stop smiling when they stopped. 'I learned my folk dancing from crazy druids and Irishmen.' Aedan huffed a laugh, amusement in his eyes. 'Even did the real stuff in the middle of Stonehenge. And not just anyone is allowed between the stones.' He rubbed his collarbone.

Ephram made a hoity-toity impressed noise, repeating, "Not just anyone! Only mad Druids and Irishmen." He snickered at Aedan's rubbing the spot where he'd been poked, saying, "Come onnnnn, Wee Deer, don't be dramatic, I hardly even jabbed you that hard. Iffen this music gits any faster, I'll be swingin' you round enough to git you whirly in the head and /then/ you'll see!"

Aedan 'You'll find I'm quite the drama queen.' He poked his tongue out. 'But seriously, just make sure you swing me properly. Or you'll be sweeping up this drama queen's pieces.'

"Well now -- if that don't sound like a challenge then fuck me." Ephram lifted his chin, motioning to the musicians; when he caught their eye, he twirled his fingers up quickly, motioning for them to hasten the tempo. Taking Aedan's hands firmly, he fixed the other witch with a challenging grin. "Keep up now, boyo. Lemme show you how we do up where /I'm/ from." He was wearing his steel-toed workboots, but Ephram's pace quickened with the more driving drumbeat, his heavy heels striking with loud knocks against the ground as he turned Aedan about -- mindful of that bandaged hand, of course.

Aedan felt a little like his feet weren't even meeting the floor with every step. His heart started to match the tempo and he laughed hard enough that his ribs started aching again. 'Holy shite.'

"Oh right, I think I remember..." Iann vaguely recalled being disappointed that these Games hadn't been magical or supernatural. What was the point? Feats of strength or physical ability in Soapberry were much different from outside, considering the super-abilities of werewolves and vampires. Fairies flying, witches with magic...it still didn't make sense to Iann to just have plain human games, but whatever. Sometimes it was like supernaturals wanted to pretend to be humans, while scoffing at humans at the same time. In a spontaneous attempt to break the ice between him and Essie, Iann called out to her. "Hey Caird, leave buddy alone, come join us. You can Collette can show us Americans how it's done," he teased Collette.

Collette. 's smile faltered a little when she found Iann inviting someone else to their little dance. She didn't want to be a teacher. She was enjoying hogging Iann for herself for the moment. But she said nothing, stopping her dance. 'I'll go get a drink.'

Ephram eased up a little, grinning widely as he turned Aedan free again and toned his own stepping down to a more keeping-the-beat pace. "Cain't say I din't warn you, Wee Deer," he drawled. "But at least for this you git to keep your clothes on. Since I'm assuming all the Druid-dancin' was skyclad."

Bella picked up the Sangria and began to pour everyone plastic cups for when they were done, watching the lot of them moving about quite freely. It was a sight to watch, especially those who were not very good.

Aedan 'Who says I don't like baring all for nature?' He beamed at Ephram and caught his breath as they finally danced in time. 'But usually it's in robes.' There was a hint of sadness in his voice, as if he lamented the idea of wearing clothes. 'But as sheriff, you'd probably arrest me for going naked in the middle of the dance floor.'

Essie looks over alarmed at the summons by Iann. Looking back to the man she was coaching she bites her lip and lets him go. making her way over to Iann just as Colette takes her leave for drinks. Watching the woman go with a blinks and an awkward look at the man. "My bad? Didn't mean to chase away your partner."

Ephram raised his eyebrows, gesturing around. "You know what town you live in, right? With wolves and merms constantly goin' in and out of bein' nekkid when they change? If I tried to arrest everbody who was starkers at some point I'd never sleep."

Aedan 'Hm, well, that's something to consider next time my Nudie Rudie addiction overcomes me.'

Iann watched Collette go, then looked down at Essie. "Didn't think she'd be chased, I thought she liked Scottish...everything. You fight with her as well?" Iann asked, referring to the argument he'd witnessed between Essie and Avi, in the prison-world. He gave a shrug though. "She's a nymph, what can you do," he said, as if Collette's species explained her behavior.

Ephram sporfled at Aedan's term for running naked, reaching over to gently shove the heel of his hand against the other man's forehead. "Nudie Rudie, good Gawd. Sounds like a lipstick name. HEY BELLAMY!" Ephram suddenly hollered in her direction, "don't you got a lip stain called Nudie Rudie? I could swear you do!"

Collette. went to the bar and ordered herself a drink, saying 'surprise me'.

Aedan 'You yell nudie rudie when you run through student digs naked! It stops your housemates coming out mid-flash.' Aedan gave a dramatic noise as Ephram pushed his head back. 'It's a good phrase.'

Essie makes a face at Iann. "No. I didn't." she says haltingly pursing her lips after and shaking her head.

Bella looked more directly when she heard her name, already observing Collette walking off in the opposite direction to where she had drinks ready for everyone to get more cider or beer. Ephram seemed pretty drunk, perhaps just n the mood. "I don't know at all, I have too many, probably, though what a weak name," she shook her head gently at him.

Iann It was the most Iann wanted to refer to Essie about what had happened in prison-world; really, the casually tossed question was sort of a tester, to gauge Essie's willingness to elaborate - but the curt reply and pursed lips was more than enough to Iann to indicate they should move on. The spontaneous band seemed to be taking a break anyway - good timing, and so Iann motioned for Essie to head over to where Bellamy was waiting with drinks. He didn't really want to get inebriated, maybe just a little buzzed. "Hey Belle. Look at all these choices. Which one do you prefer?"

Essie is glad Iann doesn't try to get more information from here, she had been speaking about it enough to her familiar, and to her sister back home. Trying to process through everything was a slow process, but she wanted to focus on the good right now. Lifting a plastic cup of sangria Essie smiles at Bella. "What we talking about?"

Collette. sat herself down and watched the dancers and the groups of people talking as she sipped her drink.

Bella "Choices?" she asked with confused and large eyes.

Ephram hrrm'ed, faintly disappointed that he hadn't correctly identified an existing lip colour. But he was easily distracted back to what Aedan was saying, laughing, "That explains it, then -- I ain't a college boy, never had the need to know the code for streaking or the socks on the doorknobs or nothin'. Say, Aedan--" he casually spun Aedan around a couple of times, hanging on to his good hand and letting the other one alone, "I been reconsidering it, just now while we was dancin', and maybe I /would/ go on one'a them big ships for like, a cruise, maybe. You ever been on a cruise?"

Iann pointed between the cider and the beer. "Cider, or beer?"

Essie looked at Iann "Those are empties, we only have sangria?"

 "I just brought Sangria over for everyone, I assumed those were for her," Bella shrugged of whatever Collette had gone to the bar to grab.

Ephram hollered over at Iann. "STAY AWAY FROM MY CIDER, CARDERO!"

Aedan couldn't help but laugh as Ephram spun him about. 'A cruise? Once or twice. You've gotta find the right boat for you. Nothing with a shuffleboard court. Why? Are you inviting me to plan your holiday to old-man land?'

Iann bares his teeth, sucking in a breath before he asks hopefully, "Is it white sangria, or red?" Something familiar about 'cider' and 'Pettaline' pinged in Iann's mind; but by now details of the Forty Isles were fading, and so he just waved a hand of acknowledgement towards Pettaline.

Collette. sipped her unidentified drink and listened in as they argued over their own.

"I didn't realise it could be anything other than red?" Bellamy noted, picking up the large jug the woman had given her and giving it a sniff. "Pretty sure it's red, cheap red but red."

Ephram chuckled. "Not on your life -- my husband plans all our trips out of Soapberry, I wouldn't dream of depriving him of the pleasure. But is that what they're about, shuffleboard and old folks? I'll be honest, I was scarred by watchin' The Poseidon Adventure as a tadpole. And then watchin' every single documentary about the Titanic that's ever been put to film."

'Thank God. You'd both end up cliff jumping and cave diving.' Aedan laughed and shook his head. 'So, that's your fault, then. But I spent most of my teenage-hood travelling so I have to like water a little.'

"Hmmmmmmmmm okay lemme have a try," Iann decided as if he was trying to buy a car or a fancy piece of jewelry, not just a have a cup of alcoholic beverage. Collette was listening, and Iann asked, "What'd you get? And who the hell set up a bar already? This town...."

Collette. 'I think it's called the Naked Nymph?'

Essie tapped her plastic cup into Bellas in a mock toast taking a sip

Bella handed Iann one of the prepoured cups of Sangria. "Nice of the ladies to give us some cups too, wouldn't have taken some if I'd known the town was doing some kind of actual bar," she said but shrugged, too late now, clicking her plastic cup with Essie's. "How was your dancing? Did you show them what's what?"

Ephram looked exaggeratedly offended. "Excuse you, it ain't no fault nothin'! I call it bein' /prepared/ for the very high possibility that I could be on a big cruiser ship what turns upside-down or hits an iceberg. I think it's real responsible of me thankyew very much." He snagged a couple of fingers into the folds of Aedan's shirt and towed him closer to one of the makeshift booze tables, collecting two bottles of some sort of raspberry radler and handing one to Aedan, continuing to dance at a much more lazy pace. "Is it a because Ireland's an island thing? Youn's git used to bein' surrounded by water real early on, same way I all but grew up runnin' wild in the woods?"

Aedan followed Ephram to pilfer the drinks and took his. He took a sip and his expression flickered between confusion and enjoyment as they danced. He didn't know if he liked the drink yet. 'Mhm, if you're not careful in Ireland, you can just fall right into the sea! If you can't swim, you're done for.' He gave Ephram a cheeky grin.

Iann chuckled. "Looks like the bartender was trying to give you a hint, Cullie," Iann said with a wink. He eyed the sangria and then took a drink. It was delicious, as he expected - but that was exactly why he was so wary of it. It was delicious, easy to drink down. One did not nurse a sangria. "I need food," he proclaimed, figuring if he was going to drink, he might as well do himself a favour and eat as well.

Collette. rolled her eyes and continued to sip her drink. 'You're always saying that.'

Essie "They needed a lot of coaching, they didn't get lessons every Christmas time in school so it makes sense none of them had it anywhere near good enough." she jokes with a small shrug.

Ephram wasn't quite sure, cheeky grin or not, if Aedan was actually joking. "Okay now, you cain't tease me that way," he objected, elbowing the other witch a little. "I'm serious! How long a drive is it to the water if you're say smack-dab in the middle of Ireland? I had to learn to swim a lot better once I moved out here and had to contend with the gawd damn ocean."

‘Oh God, Ephram! I’m not a geography man. Four hours maybe? Six?’ Aedan still couldn’t stop himself laughing.

"Some of us did, some of us were just bad," Bellamy insisted. She had gone to church, they taught dancing there. Perhaps Ephram had learnt to but he was with Aedan and she couldn't ask, besides he was...very exciteable at this point. "I learnt to dance but I stepped on toes and couldn't keep a beat. Bit better now, not nearly good enough to show anyone up. I'd just sway awkwardly like Lana Del Rey does."

Ephram considered this and nodded, content. "What's the water like there though?" he persisted. "I saw this movie and these kids was takin' a fuckin' speedboat from Ireland to England and it looked goddamn choppy as /shit/ when they was out on the water, like, folks don't do that on the regular, do they? Are there nice beaches? Calm ones?"

Bella "As for food, if they have bar then there might be food trucks? Though I'd loved to have known so I too could have done something," she sighed a little disappointed.

Aedan 'Shite. Some of that strait is so dangerous it's not legal to cross in winter. We're an island on the edge of an ocean. There are nice, chilly beaches. Sometimes a heatwave makes it nice.'

For some reason this answer that confirmed the perils of crossing in a speedboat made Ephram more placid about the whole affair, and he relaxed into a more loose bobbling sort of standing-in-place dance, shoulders and hips swaying. "I tried doin' that thing where you lie down on the beach and somebody covers you with sand so's only your head sticks out," he remarked conversationally. "These two selkie kids volunteered but then they got tired and said I was too tall and it took too long. Abandoned me to the elements."

Aedan 'Did you... did you drown? Or did you want someone to try it again? Properly next time?'

"Next time, Belle," Iann said, knowing Erzebet's food truck would likely be popular, considering how good their food was. But he was pleased at the idea of heading over to the food trucks to grab some chow. "Who wants what?" Iann canvassed the women, in case they wanted munchies as well.

Collette. 'Can you get me something sticky? Like wings or ribs? Pleasseee, Iann.'

Ephram gave a gusty, mournful sigh, now that Aedan had offered sympathy and opened the door for him to play up to it. "Almost," he said direly. "I fell asleep -- like you do when somebody's pilin' you up with warm sand -- and next thing I knew I had cold-ass water creepin' up my shorts." He shook his head. "And yeah, I /do/ want it done properly! I need to have the experience. You good at makin' human sandcastles, Wee Deer?"

Iann "Heck yes," Iann nodded at Collette, sure he could smell bbq by now. It was making his mouth water.

Aedan 'Of course I can. We should do it! We have to do it.'

Collette. cheered with joy when Iann agreed.

Bella would love a gothic vampire style food truck to drive around town, next time for sure... "I would like chips and gravy, please," she requested with a big grin. "Oh and a burger, and like whatever cake they have."

Ephram threw back the rest of his radler, appropriating Aedan's from him and finishing that one as well. "Whoo!" he cheered at the plan for a proper sand christening. "Let's git more drinks."

Aedan. was going to protest when Ephram pilfered the last of his drink. ‘God above. Yes please.’ He burst into laughter and led the way to get more drinks.

Essie wasn't hungry so she had just been quietly working through the sangria while everyone chatted.

"Chips and gravy, got it," Iann said, then nodded as Bellamy added to her request. "Okay burger. And cake...hold on I'm writing this down. Someone better come with me to help carry all this."

Culloden ‘I’ll help.’ Collette hurries over to him with her drink left on her seat. ‘C’mon.’

Ephram shouldered his way over to an enterprising naga who had an array of her homebrewed beverages out for sale or trade, picking up bottles and mason jars and drinking pouches in quick succession to squint at the labels. "Nothin' with blood in it, right?" he confirmed with Aedan, fingering a pouch of Touch o' Plasma Brandy.

Bella snorted, unable to help herself. "Whelp, it's you and me until they get back, which means we can shit talk them," Bellamy said, loudly proclaiming. "Iann is so ooooold!" so he could hear as he left.

Iann made a face at Bellamy as he and Collette trotted off together towards the parking lot, where the food trucks showed up. Some of them were still setting up, so they got in line for one of them. "You okay? You don't like Essie, or something?" he asked, as they waited.

Essie had been drinking steadily while she had nothing to add to the conversation. She lets her lips pull carelessly into a smile for Bella shrugging. "Shit talk away." she snorts

Aedan. ‘I have nothing against blood I just don’t... think it’d be a good tasting drink?’

Culloden ‘I like Essie, but we were dancing. You don’t invite others into a dance if you’re going to reject the group dance.’

"Rules," Iann scoffed, missing the point entirely as he waved a hand at the idea of whatever dance-etiquette he believed Collette was describing. "Too formal."

Essie had clearly been drinking and Bella was up for gossip, even if it wasn't actually shit talking. "So Miles left town," Bella noted, a heavy inhale. "Didn't really say much but his ex moved further away and so did his daughters. He followed them, obviously. Less of a big deal with everything ended, but I don't know, sucks to think he's not around." Bella hadn't wanted to not have him in her life completely, and sure, they could text, but she loved him, still did. "

Culloden bristled as Iann brushed off something she cared about. It wasn’t about etiquette. ‘Yeah, whatever right? Rules pfft.’ She pretended to shrug off whatever Iann believed was the reason.

Essie makes a noise of surprise and lets her knees connect with the ground gently in front of the seat Bella was sitting in. "Oh my god really? When did that happen? I'm so sorry Bella damn."

Ephram leaned back slightly as the naga bent over her table to stare at Aedan. "It says TOUCH o'plasma," she pointed out loudly, and Ephram set the pouch down, holding up his hands. "Awright, awright," he said placatingly, and pulled a selection of two bottles and two mason jars forward. "He was only answerin' my question, ain't no need to git rattled." The naga eased off, but she did lift her tail and rattle it with a short laugh.

Bella "During the rifts, probably hard to get out," she half laughed, it wasn't really funny. "It's not like I imagined we'd get back together, but Miles accepted a lot about me, I really hoped I'd still be able to lean on him." Without really intending for it her eyes started to get wet, the vampire blinking a few times so that they would go away. She didn't want to get sad in front of people, Essie was one thing but if anyone returned she intended to change the topic and keep the upbeat mood. "I can text him, I'll be fine. Besides, I have people," she assured Essie. It wasn't quite the same but it did help.

Maya had dressed in a simple tank top and jeans combo. It was a beautiful day outside and she might as well enjoy it. After all the Washington Coast winter would start any day now and bring with it nine months of drizzle. At the edge of the Town Square to see who and what was about. She gave an acknowledging smile to her friends before heading off to find something to drink. She could go for something fried too, but might hold off on that.

"You're the one who's abiding by them!" Iann pointed out, his nature leading him to debate, even casually. "What, you wanted to go dance with that guy, you should've just told me. I was just teasing."

Essie takes one of Bellas hands. Bellamy had been there for her when she'd been having issues, and she hadn't even realized the vampire was going through something as well. "I'm so sorry. Let me be one of the people! Anything you need, anytime."

Bella chuckled, Essie's declaration lightening her mood and she patted the hand that had taken her own with the one that was free. "I know, you are, don't need to worry," she giggled. "Definitely not anything, but friend things, I promise."

Essie let her cheeks heat up as she realizes she might have read 'I have people' wrong. "Definitely friend things Bella yeah." she laughs to cover her mistake.

Bella "I have other people for /those/ things," she chuckled. Unsure if Essie thought she meant blood or sex or what, either Bella did not expect from the fae. Though blood would have been nice. "Come on, give me some gossip you know, about someone else."

‘Right, we’ll just stick with the vanilla stuff.’ Aedan chuckled and bumped Ephram.

Culloden ‘No, I wanted to dance with you.’

"You were dancing with me!" Iann said, confused and laughing. "We were dancing, we weren't going to stop dancing together. Well - until the music stopped anyway." They were next in line though, and fortunately this truck seemed to have everything they wanted, except the cake, but that was the bakery truck next to it. So Iann got the fries and gravy, the hamburger, ribs and wings, and some onion rings for himself. "And a milkshake, chocolate malt. You want a milkshake too, Cullie?"

Culloden: Iann didn’t get it. He rarely got it. But she smiled through his confusion. ‘Nah, I’m planning on drinking all night and dairy is the worst thing to mix with it.’

Ephram picked up the two jars to put them in Aedan's hands, saying, "We got us some plum wine here, that sounds nice, and we'll take these two redcurrant stouts. Sound good?" He paid with money, having not yet figured out what he owned that would be useful to carry around for barter, and the naga sent them off with two little packets of cheese crackers as well. "Let's sit down," Ephram suggested, gesturing at his chair and then frowning. "Gawddammit! There's somebody's backpack in my chair!"

Essie "I'm glad." she huffs awkwardly with a shy smile at Bella. "lord knows I'm not in a position to do anything." she adds as an afterthought, her tongue loose with sangria. "Oh gossip huh? Well I'm pretty sure there's a janitor stealing half the sheriffs lunches. Not enough for him to notice, I doubt his husband makes a full inventory of those bags but I've seen this one woman -" she cut off as Ephram came back.

"Someone needs to teach you the positions then," Bella winked. "Half is a lot, guess Freddie replaces most when he brings him lunch," she reasoned, assuming Freddie stopped by enough. "That's one of our bags, weirdo, we were saving spots."

"See, and I heard that if you have a yogurt before drinking, it'll keep you from getting sick. Not that - not that you'd get sick on regular human alcohol anyway. And I have no idea how nymph-booze works," Iann said, paying for the food and then heading to the bakery truck to pick up the cake in the meantime. He finished the sangria for now anyway, recycling the cup so he could keep his hands free for the upcoming food. He ordered the cake - some sort of vanilla cinnamon, he hoped Bellamy wouldn't hate it - and handed it to Collette to hold. Somehow he believed that the delicate dessert would be handed better by her than by him. Instead he shoved his hands in his pockets and waited, side-eying Collette. "God, this sort of awkwardness sucks."

Aedan thanked him and carried his jar as they went. 'Let's.' He stopped at the chairs and laughed at Ephram's possessive reaction.

Ephram was mollified by Bella's explanation, setting his drinks down. "Okay, good, thanks sweetpea," he said, dropping a little kiss to Bellamy's head. He dragged up another chair for Aedan, grinning, "--unless you wanna perch on the arm of mine?"

Maya ended up in line at one of the food trucks near a bakery truck where Iann and Collette were waiting. She gave them a wave and would've said hello, but it seemed like they were in the middle of some kind of awkward conversation.

Collette. 'Let's say, the milky cocktail I had once has put me off of mixing alcohol and dairy.' She took all of the handed over food. 'What awkwardness? I'm not being awkward.'

Essie crossed her arms and rested them on Bellas knees, head coming down to rest on top of them as well. "Maybe I'm waiting to learn the positions." she shoots back forgetting her company for a moment before turning her head into her arms with a blush. "Nevermind."

Aedan 'You want me to sit on the arm of your chair?' He looked at the wide arms and the drink that was resting on the seat Ephram had dragged over. 'Leave that one. I can sit on the arm. The deepness of the seat is hell on my ribs.'

"You're being awkward," Iann stated grouchily, then nodded his chin in hello towards Maya Parker when she waved. "Can we invite Maya Parker to talk with us or are you gonna run away again?"

'Jesus Christ, Iann.' Collette rolled her eyes. 'And here I was enjoying this evening.'

Bella looked at Aedan, thinking of his friend Jack's implication of Aedan and giggling to herself. "Don't tell your boss you're waiting to learn the positions, Ephram might pass that along. He's clearly in a gossiping mood himself. Tell us whose the worst at their job, Sheriff? It's Essie, yeah?" she joked.

Maya tilted her head at Collette's response, "So is that a no or...?"

"Yeah so was I," Iann said with a frown. "Don't put this on me." In a fit of rebellion, he brazenly addressed Maya. "Yo man, was that warning you got a doozy, huh? At least it was for me. The worlds I went to....hooboy. But we're all still standing in the end, hey?"

Essie moans unhappily into her arms. "Don't bella please." she whines already regretting speaking up, but the alcohol in her blood had demanded she say whatever came to mind. "I embarrass myself in my own time so well already."

Ephram grunted as he dropped into his seat, knocking out one of his empty bottles with little to no care. "You busted your ribs, too?" he said. "Dang, Aedan. That kraken ship did a number on you." He leaned back with his little collection of drinks arranged on the other arm of his chair not occupied by an Irish witch, and gave Bella and Essie a wide, loopy grin. "Essie," he said with a bit more solemnity, "is without a doubt my most valuable employee and no lie. Although Finn can be distracting when he's dressed up all jaunty. I keep wonderin' if his clothes come in a human 42 long so I can get a version for my own self."

Collette. kept her mouth shut, feeling trapped. 'I'm gonna take these over to Bellamy.' She knew she was running again but she had a real excuse this time. The desserts needed to be given to their owners.

Maya let out a huff of a laugh, "You can say that again. Wasn't particularly helpful either. I mean, /they/ being some super fucked up apocalypse situations? I needed a little more to get that that." She watched as Collette left, feeling a little guilty. She'd meant it as a joke, but it didn't seem to have landed that way. Probably because of whatever was going on between Iann and Collette before, but Maya hardly wanted to make Collette more uncomfortable.

Aedan hummed in agreement as he settled on the arm of the chair, holding his ribs with one hand and the jar with the other. 'It could've ended worse.' He sipped his drink as he listened to Ephram complimenting his coworkers.

"Oooooh, look at that, best employee even if you don't know the positions," Bella nudged her, picking up another cup of Sangria, her lips dyed a beautiful deep pink from her sips. "That's still not gossip though, who has called the department about something ridiculous."

Collette. returned to the group, offering Bellamy her cake. 'I think Iann's still waiting for the food.' She sat in her unoccupied (but somehow moved) seat, taking up her drink.

Bella was actually surprised to see Collette bringing her the food, mostly because Collette seemed to cling to Iann whenever Bella saw the two of them in the same environment and she wondered if Ciara had maybe arrived. "Thanks," she said. "Perhaps you have some gossip?" Bella tried.

Collette. 'Gossip?' She glanced around the group. 'I don't know... gossip.'

"Welll from what you described those cryptids you fell into weren't exactly feeling their best. They tried to do what they could," Iann said. He'd been unable to stop thinking about those cryptids, trapped in a pit, with no other recourse other than their imminent death and an attempt to warn the one person who'd get out of the pit alive. "Poor fuckers." Iann shook his head in some sympathy for their demise. "I looked up the town report, fortunately no one ended up dying. Injured sure..." he patted his own stomach, where he'd been injured in one of the worlds. He watched Collette flee, and for once Iann chose not to run after her. He was waiting for the food, anyway. "What're you gonna get? You can just share with me if you want."

Essie buried her head even further in her arms at Bellas words. "Bella please." she whines, Ephram is her BOSS this is so inappropriate. Her drink addled brain however responding to Ephram "Finn only wears scarves and jumpers, ain't no 42 long in it unless you're going commando." she thinks aloud before making a face at her own words. Good grief she was off again, embarrassing herself always.

"Not omnious at all," Bella said of the way Collette rolled off, taking a heavy sip that she almost spat up when how what Essie said came across very differently to her. Nose sangria over her jeans.

Maya nodded. "True and I'll give them it was absolutely better than nothing." She nodded again when Iann said that no one had died. It took some willpower for her not to touch her ribs as he patted his stomach. They still ached, but far less than they had in the immediate aftermath of the Victorian asylum. "I need a drink," she replied, gesturing towards the truck, "But I will totally steal some of your food."

Ephram gave a happy bark of a laugh, saying, "Lordy loo, we all got nekkidness on the mind today! First Aedan here informin' me bout them college boys screamin' Nudie Rudie afore runnin' down the halls starkers, and now you shootin' down my dreams of me and Finn wearin' matching outfits in public. Sigh, sigh." Ephram shook his head. "I'll have to save them outfits for when I'm at home with the mister." He lobbed his packet of cheese crackers gently into Collette's lap, saying, "You want these, birdie?"

Bella taking a bite of her cake she continued to giggle despite her mess. "Well I have some gossip, Essie and I were married in one of the places," Bellamy announced, also not thinking about phrasing.

Aedan 'You told me nudity was allowed in town? Or are you just tricking me into making a total tit of myself?'

Iann turned, pointing vaguely back to where the others were. "I think there's a makeshift bar there, and Bellamy's doling out sangria. It's delicious. But you have to wait for me to help me carry back all the food first, now that my co-pilot jumped ship." Iann paused. "Wait, that didn't make sense. Catch my drift."

Essie "I take it back?" she tries with a cringe sparing a small glance at the sheriff and then at the man she'd never been introduced to. "Lets pass nudity by /please/" her mind already swirling with 'positions' from earlier. Her innuendo counter going up by the second.

Collette. turned the pack over in her lap and wondered if Iann was bringing her her bbq or if she'd blown it. 'Thanks, Ephram.' She cracked a smile for him and wiggled the pack at him. 'I'll save them for my drunk feast.' She stood and went to get a refill of her glass.

Ephram scrunched his face at Aedan. "Maaaaaaybe. Oh, hey -- Aedan, this is Essie, she's the Civilian Admin down at the station. Essie, this is Aedan, he's very Irish." Ephram toasted them both with his stout and applied himself enthusiastically to drinking it. "Bella! What in the world sorter place was you in that you got hellscape married??"

Aedan waved at Essie and cast her a smile. 'Nice to meet you. I'm a - little - Irish.'

Ephram mumbled into his bottle obstinately, ".../very/ Irish."

Aedan poked his tongue out at Ephram.

"If you just give me a second, I'm just going to grab a beer from this truck. Then I can help you carry," Maya replied. While she enjoyed sangria, she wanted something a little less alcoholic today. She still wasn't sleeping very well and knew that being drunk wouldn't help. Of course, the day was still young after all. Someone in line behind her coughed and she realized it was her turn. "One sec," she said to Iann before ordering. Beer in hand, she returned to him and held out her arms for him to load up. It had been a long time since she'd been a waitress, but she was pretty sure she could still balance on her arms.

Essie lifts a hand in return turning around to rest her back on Bellas knees reaching for another cup of sangria. "You irish or not?" she asks more directly. "No very or little about it." She hums quietly.

"I'm a lil bit Irish," Ephram said, half to himself. "I'm a lil bit Scottish, a lil bit English ... a lil bit country, a lil bit rock 'n roll...."

Aedan 'Belfast. Druid. Catholic school and all. You judge my Irishness.' He gave her a broad grin.

Bella "One where we were being hunted by our in-laws for a ritual sacrifice, obviously," she grinned, sarcasm heavy with her final word. "We were very beautiful in wedding dresses though, everyone should be envious they didn't get to see us walking down the aisle. Essie especially because I wear wedding dresses for fun, for her it was much more unique."

Bella "Speaking of! You two must have learnt to dance in church, right? Ephram, Aedan? Essie said it was just her but I did in Church too, you guys had to also, yeah?"

Aedan 'Dancing was frowned upon in my church. Especially when we were all boys.'

Fortunately Iann's order comes at the same time, so he gathered the items and handed Maya the onion rings, then placed the burger gently on the crook of her arm. "Got it? I can carry the rest," Iann said, strolling them back to the group. He handed the milkshake over to Collette. "Hold that," he requested, before giving Bellamy her fries, and her burger. "There you go, Belle. And the onion rings we're sharing, Parker," he said to Maya. Iann then looked at Collette, lifting the ribs and the wings, one in each hand. "Choose but choose wisely, Cullie. The other one'll be for me."

Collette. obeyed more out of surprise than compliance. 'Wings, please. They have more meat on them.' She reached up to take the wings from him, handing his milkshake over. 'Thanks.'

Essie "hate to agree with the sheriff, but sounds very 'very' to me." She smiles a little taking another gulp of sangria "If I get married, I'm not wearing that big a dress, too hard to hard to run in, had to tear the skirt off. Don't think I could do that on a real wedding." She shakes her head piping in. "No no I said i didn't figure you lot would get the same 'traditional' dancing lessons in school, like every winter all the kids in school had to do scottish dancing."

Ephram shook his head. "Folks in the Fall learn dancin' from since we's knee-high to a mushroom," he said, the words rolling out of his mouth more soft-cornered with his thickening accent. "At plum near every family gatherin' we go to. We dance at church functions, but that ain't where we learn it." He reached over to pluck at Bellamy's wrist. "What sorter teachin' they gave you in church for dancin'? Both of you?" Ephram directed his question at Essie as well, when the fairy answered of her own accord. "Ahhhhh. We got square dancin' in school. But yeah, nothin' in church."

Aedan huffed a laugh behind his drink and rolled his eyes. They won. He was very Irish.

Maya waited a half second before replying. She had to be sure she had it before she answered. Then, with a semi-proud grin, she replied, "I still got it." At everything else she'd been a shit waitress, except this one small part. She then followed Iann to the table. She waited until Iann had removed the burger before even attempting to sit down. Only once it was safe did she take an open chair. "Thanks," she said to Iann before taking one of the onion rings. She listened to conversation, trying to pick up what they were talking about. Dancing, it seemed.

Aedan 'You get thrashed for talking about magic in my school. So no Harry Potter! And no dancing.'

Ephram belatedly worked through Essie's comment. "Hey!" he protested mildly, laughing. "Why /hate/ to agree with me? I'm a man you want to be allied with, Essie, believe you me. How could you disregard the bond of the golf bag so quickly."

Iann traded the basket of wings for his milkshake with Collette. "They're ahhh, sweet whiskey barbecue wings," he said to Collette, then motioned to Maya and said to her, "Hope you like barbecue ribs. You ever try a malted beer float? If that's an IPA then you'd be in for a treat."

Bella "You need to keep a ruler between you and anyone, don't need you dancing close," she teased Aedan before nodding at Ephram and frowning when he teased her, thankfully Iann and Maya had returned with her food and Bella happily took what she had requested. "We learnt dancing for when the church had socials. Besides, I went to private school, dancing was an elective, we didn't have Homecoming and stuff, just Prom, once and I didn't go so," Bellamy shrugged. She went to Proms at the public school but they did not dance formally.

Collette. fell silent again and sat back in her chair with her ribs and took up her 'Nude Nymph' drink.

"I'm never one to turn down good barbaque," Maya replied. She considered his second question and ended up shrugged, "Maybe, but not that I remember, so I guess I know what my next drink is."

Bella looked over at Collette who kept growing quite, "thanks for getting my food, guys." The statement to the three of them. "What about you, Collette, what happened in one of the strange places for you?"

Collette. 'I saw a nightmare version of Iann's ex.'

Essie never went to church, so she wouldn't be able to really comment on dancing lessons within them. Jumping a little when Ephram called her out blinking at him and awkwardly smiling back at him. "Sorry of course, the sacred golf bag."

Bella Of course, Iann. "He's got many, what a hoe," she joked, since Iann was far from it. "Probably all of them there, chasing you down, zombie-fied or something, yeah?" Bella tried to keep it light.

Ephram raised his eyebrows at Collette's comment, and broadly stated instead of engaging with it, "--although I still cain't waltz or nothin'. Most I can manage is a polka. Now why couldn't one'a them weirdscapes been about dancin'? That woulda been a sight to see."

Carefully, Iann traded some of the ribs with some of the onion rings, so that he and Maya and an even amount of both in their little containers. He removed the lid of his milkshake, taking a gulp before hearing Collette's statement and exclaiming, "Pah - ahaha, Tuah! She means Tuah. Only it wasn't...well obviously it was as Cullie said - the nightmare version of him. Real creepy stuff."

Ephram Iann's explanation that it was only Tuah cut through the potential for tension and Ephram relaxed back into his chair, tapping the lip of his bottle against his bottom teeth.

Collette. 'You say that. But it was a Tuah I knew. One who ruined my life for real. So no, not really a nightmare. Just a memory.'

Iann "Right, yeah. Of course. So not really a nightmare version, but more like the real actual version."

Ephram made a pinched expression. Hey there, tension.

Collette. slapped her legs and stood. 'I'm going to... get another drink.'

Maya 's brow furrowed. She only knew one version of Tuah and he wouldn't ruin anyone's life. But she knew that wasn't the only version of him. She didn't ask though. After all there was plenty about those pocket worlds she'd rather not talk about.

Essie busied herself drinking more of her sangria looking anywhere but at Iann and Collette.

"Wow," Bella shook her head, deciding Collette was not worth the effort she was putting in. "Whelp, Iann and I did fight zombies, and I was heroic and brave and he should basically consider me his knight in shimmering diamond encrusted armour, yeah?"

Iann "You literally --" But once again, Collette left. He turned to look at the others, confounded. "Didn't she call him a nightmare version of him? Or was I just imagining things? I was literally quoting her own words. Jeeeesus christ."

Iann nodded though, at Bellamy's boast because it was entirely accurate. "Bellamy kicked evil soldier zombie butt and it was great. She ploughed through them."

Collette. Maybe she was the idiot for going to a big old event when she clearly wasn't over the ship and the memories it had bought back. So she stayed by the makeshift bar so she didn't bum anyone else out.

Essie was dazed and is happy to accept the change of direction. "Bella is my hero."

Aedan sunk back in the arm of the chair, his arse turning numb from the weird shape of the wood.

Ephram leaned forward, seeing an opportunity for him to unload a thwack of unwanted advice open up like magic. "Cardero, man," he said, scrunching one eye shut, "the girl's clearly hung up on you for some godforsaken reason. Hell, she's pitched like eight fits in the last hour alone every time you so much as blink at someone other'n her."

"I thought you said she was different now?" Bellamy asked Iann, since this seemed the same Collette that had existed in that strange arthurian place. "She's obsessed with you, I mean she walked off for Essie?" Bella went to lean back in her seat and quickly realised she couldn't and sat back up. "I am very brave," she agreed of Iann's explaination of her and Essie's note too. "Continued adoration will go over well. Iann did his share, it just wasn't as cool as my share."

Iann blinked at Ephram, clearly offended at the fact that Pettaline was talking to him kindly. "We - okay but we talked about...never mind. Here. Take my food, and take my milkshake - it's good, it's malty." He donated his vittles to Pettaline, took a breath, and headed over to the bar where Collette had hidden herself. "Can I join you?"

Maya 's gaze followed Collette as she left. She thought about following her. But they didn't know each other well. She didn't know if Collette would rather be alone. She turned back to the table and took a sip of her beer. Maybe she would check in after a bit, give Collette some space. Once she returned her attention to the conversation, she took an even bigger gulp of her beer.

Ephram sat back again, pleased to have been gifted with free food for his efforts, and held the container around for if Aedan or Bellamy -- both of them adjacent to him -- wanted any.

Collette. turned to see Iann, her face scrunched up as if there was too much light. Or a bad smell. 'If you like.'

Aedan took a handful without looking, finding sticky ribs instead of something nice and dry. 'Gross.' He pulled a face and tried to eat the rib with one hand, drink between his legs.

"Well...yeah that's why I asked." Iann rubbed his face, leaning against a post as he looked at Collette. "What's going on. I know this isn't about me, so just talk to me instead of leaving me."

"She is obsessed," Bella agreed, taking the food from Ephram. "Whatever. I tried to be nice, now I'm done," which was Bella's usual thinking. She'd still try again, she always did, even with Ruby who trying again had happened like fifty times. "How about you, Sheriff, you practically lived in them, see anyone we'd know?"

Collette. 'There's-' She faltered, a rare thing with her. 'I made friends with the man I swore to kill if I saw him again. You loved him. He's nice now. But William is still un-avenged.'

Essie gets to her feet and dusts her ass off from sitting on the ground and nudges Bella "I'll sit and you can sit on my knee? My ass hurts." she asks knowing chairs were few and far between as the town started filtering into the place.

Ephram dug into the remaining ribs with gusto, propping the malted shake next to him on the seat. "Whuhuh?" he responded dumbly to Bella, before figuring out what she was asking and shaking his head. "Nope, I mostly only saw monsters. Oh! Except for this one world where it was jes like Soapberry, only everbody -- all the versions of you guys --" he gestured around at them with a rib bone, "--all had these weird lil talismans? Tokens? Lil items that was embedded in your foreheads."

"I love a lot of terrible people," Iann said, and leaned in. "Because I can indeed be a terrible person myself, remember?" he smiled softly, reminding her of their teasing conversation while they were dancing. As for the issue of this William, Iann asked. "Okay so...what's the best way you could think of to get your William avenged? Ideally, if you could do something to avenge him with no repercussions."

Maya held her tongue. She didn't know Collette well and she got the impression that no one save for Iann did. It was entirely possible that something else was going on with the nymph. It seemed like the table had already decided what they thought about it and she didn't feel it was her place to say anything. Instead, she picked up another onion ring and listened as Ephram talked about some pocket dimension he'd fallen in to.

Collette. 'I would've killed him the moment I knew. But I like Tuah. He's sweet. Nothing like the violent, cruel creature that sent William to his death.' Her fingers turned white around the glass she clung to. 'But there's nothing I can do. I won't kill Tuah. I like him. And-' She ran a hand through her hair. 'And I wouldn't hurt someone you loved.'

"So the only way to satisfactorily avenge William, is to kill Tuah, huh?" Iann said, tonguing the inside of his cheek as he gave this some thought.

Collette. 'Or I suppose... I could try find his remains. I never got to say goodbye.' Violence was always the first option. It was what she was born for. But if it was to protect Iann's heart, she would consider other options. Even if those couldn't ever work.

This had nothing to do with Iann's heart, honestly. But then Collette had a far more emotionally in-tune view of how these things worked than Iann did, who was trying to sort this out pragmatically. "Yeah, but that's not really avenging. What if you stuck him with your sword?"

Collette. 'If I stuck him with my sword, I would probably have an apoplectic seizure.' She turned quiet, her voice barely escaping her. 'I'm deathly afraid of vampires.' She never told anyone that.

"Oh my god, what was in my forehead?" Bellamy asked as she stood from where she sat, trying to hold all her food as she did and taking a seat on the ground because she would not get uncomfortable down there. "I hope it was pretty but I bet your going to say like a tooth or something creepy as hell."

Iann "Okay, so we'll work you past your fear of vampires first. But I don't understand. You made friends with him and you're also deathly afraid of him? How does that work?"

Ephram was pleased that somebody wanted to know what their talisman was. If there was one thing he'd complain about when it came to Soapberry denizens, it was what he considered to be a bewildering lack of curiosity. "Aaaap!" he beeped, sitting up a little more. "Well, sweetpea, you had this, like, flattened strawberry in your forehead. Only instead of a stem it had blond hair. That was where your hair grew up from, that foreheadberry."

Essie refills Bellas plastic cup with drink, saying a happy thanks before sitting down wiggling in the chair to get comfortable. She opens her mouth and makes a noise of confusion. "Her hair started at her forehead? How far down?" she wonders.

"Ew, it is weird and creepy, in my head it's like a strawberry sticker with gross hair stuck to it," Bella answered, touching her forehead with greasy fingers before bringing it down to her burger again. "What about Ess, what was hers?"

Culloden ‘I didn’t recognise him. After over two hundred years faces don’t stick so well.’

Iann "Ohhh I gotcha. Well, now that you know what he is, I guess you could meet him again. Get used to him first so you're not afraid of the idea of potentially killing him. And then once you believe you could stand to be near him and maybe even kill him, then we can figure out how to make your avenging work, hm?"

Ephram intoned spookily, "The berry thing was embedded right between her eyes, it was ... well, not a /bad/ look exactly, but not no magazine cover neither." He smiled at Bellamy, reaching over to thumb the greasy spot from her skin. "Essie had three tiny lil books all stacked on each other, like, comin' straight out of her head. They was clasped shut. I opened one and it was jes pictures of a monkey wearin' a safari hat, all the way through."

Bella chuckled, unsure what her talisman could mean and doubly unsure of what Essie's could. "Fortunately the only bad guy I saw was Valentin," she mused, giving a shrug. "None of you were baddies. I liked being tough though, so if you had been I would have taken you out." Bella did some fake karate moved as she held some of her burger.

Culloden ‘I really don’t know, Iann. But I’ll try it if I’m guided. I don’t have my sword anymore, though.’

Aedan. listened to Ephram and grimaced.

Maya turned to Aedan, "How was your trip to New York?" She'd heard some from Ruby, but was curious how his trip had been. Plus she had little desire to revel in any of the pocket universes she'd been in.

"Well does it have to be that particular sword, or - we got blacksmiths in town! We could make you a sword." Iann looked cheerful, despite the fact that this was ultimately leading up to some theoretical plan to destroy Tuah Arjuna. "To your exact specifications. Unless it needs to be like a Scottish blacksmith with Scottish steel made only in Scotland, or something."

Essie "What I grasp from that, you think Bella is fruity sweet, and you think my head is full of nothing good." she jokes. "Good to know." she says jutting her bottom lip out at her boss. Alcohol definitely getting to her usual reserved state around the sheriff. "What about your husband, He had to have been there right?"

"Who says monkeys aren't good?" Bella asked, raising a brow. "Freddie probably got something lovely and not at all giving him extra hair."

Aedan. ‘Oh! Yeah it was great. We did all the touristy shite. And stayed at the best hotel ever.’

Maya laughed, "Yeah I got to see some pictures of the hotel. And tell me you did some non-touristy shit too, just for my poor fake Native New Yorker heart."

Culloden ‘This is making me feel weird, Iann. We need to slow down on the ex-stabbing idea for tonight. Just, let me get drunk and we’ll talk about it in the morning.’

Essie "Reminds me of that classic tv thing of a monkey banging cymbals together like I have nothing better going on in my head." she explains with a laugh.

Aedan. ‘Is there anything non-touristy to do there? We did museums, shows and pub crawls.’

"Oh - ah - sure. Drinking," Iann said, unsure what to do or where to go at this point, so he just sort of hovered and looked around.

Culloden ‘You could do shots with me?’

Ephram tapped his chin with the lip of his bottle before realizing it was empty and swapping it for a full one. "Freddie was there, yeah. He had one'a them ... you know in the circus, the spinning plates? Where they got em on sticks? A full set of those except tiny, reachin' up to about a foot over his head and makin' the most God-awful sound." He grimaced at the memory, half-listening to Aedan's account of New York.

Maya almost spat out her drink as she laughed again. "In the entire city of New York? Yeah, there's lots of non-touristy shit to do. This is why I told Ruby she should talk to Carson. Although..." she tilted her head from side to side, "Apparently that was half a shit show so."

Aedan. couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction. ‘I had been working non stop. Touristy stuff was probably all I could think of at the time.’ Who was Carson? He couldn’t remember anyone mentioning someone by that name but he could’ve just forgotten, given his weird memory.

Iann "Ahhhhhhh, sure. I just - lemme just go - can we go get some more food? From the trucks? I should eat a bit more before shots, heh. Not as young as I used to be."

Culloden ‘I’ll buy the shots if you go get the food.’ Now she had her bank card, she had no worries about bumming money from anyone.

Iann "Gotcha. You want anything else to eat?"

Culloden ‘Nope, thank you. I’m good.’

Maya nodded, "Fair enough. And admittedly, we do have the best tourist shit in the world." She didn't explain who Carson was. It wasn't important in her mind, at least not to anyone but her. "But I'm glad you had a good time. It was the first home I remember," she added.

Bella "What did Freddie think of that?"

"Of the plates? Gosh, I dunno. Clean slipped my mind to tell anyone about that crazyplace once I got out. This is the first time I'm even thinkin' on it again, heh." Ephram thwapped Bellamy's arm lightly, turning in his chair a little so his shoulder was set against Aedan's hip and butt comfortably. "So, wedding dresses, huh? Did they meet your exacting fashionable standards?"

Bella "It was alright, not what I would have picked, nightmare would have been if it was like rayon or something," she shuddered. "Ess hated hers though."

Iann headed off to get more food - fortunately this time things were ready, so Iann just got whatever seemed to be easiest to buy and receive, with little preparation. Pre-packed sandwiches, of which Iann got something like a fancy ham and swiss. He returned to Collette's side.

Aedan. ‘Well If you ever want to go there, I can get you a great deal on the hotel I stayed in.’ He glanced down at Ephram and back to Maya. ‘What was it like living there?’

Culloden bought four unidentifiable shots for each of them and smiled when Iann came back. Her good mood seemed to be returning.

"If I ever go back, I'll probably just say with friends. I doubt I could afford that hotel. Thanks though," Maya replied, "I loved it. You know, there was always something going on and I could always find a corner of the city where no one knew who I was."

Iann consumed the sandwich first, then took each of the shots and sniffed at them. "Here, take one of mine. You can hold your liquor better than me."

Culloden ‘I doubt it. This one’s called ‘nymph blaster’.’ She raised one to her lips. ‘Ready?’

Aedan. ‘Fair enough. I’d never have afforded it if I actually had to pay.’ He beamed at her. ‘It sounds great. But I found most cities are like that.’

Iann laughed, pleased that at least the booze catered to all the species. "Ready. All four in a row. Go!" Iann tossed back two of them, and tossed the other two over his shoulder, while Collette finished hers. If she caught him then he'd confess, but he was just being playful anyway.

"Well, you totally have to take advantage of that," Maya agreed, "That's probably true, but I'll always think New York is the best one. Moving there saved my life."

Culloden chugged down each shot until she was swaying a little. They were super strong for nymphs. ‘I win!’

"You win," Iann grinned, leaning against the makeshift counter. "But what's the prize?"

Aedan. ‘Its great to feel like that about a place.’

Culloden ‘What we always do! Winner dares the loser.’ She had a cheeky grin on her face, cheeks red from the alcohol. ‘You’ve got to kiss everyone in that group!’ She pointed to their friends.

Maya meant it literally. Moving to New York had saved her life. She couldn't imagine she would've lasted staying in Salem. She smiled, "Yeah, it was nice." After a sip, she added, "Course I love it here too. It's way different, but I think I needed something different."

Aedan. ‘New York is a phase, Soapberry is a home?’

Iann laughed even louder, and clapped his hands once, then pointed at Collette. "You sneaky little minx! You're on." He offered Collette his arm, and headed back to the group. "I have an announcement, people. I lost a bet and Cullie here has given me a dare - kisses for the lot of you." He held out his hand to Maya for her hand, and says to the young witch. "So before she tries to pull any 11th hour specificity, hand it over, Parker. Pun intended."

Ephram eyed Iann making good on the bet he lost, and moved on to the next drink in his line of them.

Essie waves her hands at them "What kid of bet is that!?"

Maya shook her head. "New York was home. I didn't I'd ever leave," she explained, "I wouldn't have left if not for the asshole who came after me. But I'm not the same person I was in New York..." She was about to say more when Iann interrupted. Laughing, she gave him her hand and added, "Almost like we're back in that fucking medieval fantasy world."

"Ha, something like that," Iann said, delivering a brief peck on Maya's knuckles before he released her hand. He leaned close to Essie - she was so small, all he needed to do was bump his face gently and quickly against her hair, and he made a loud 'MWAH" noise as he did it. Bellamy, he peppered with many kisses on her round little face. Ephram, Iann covered his hand over Pettaline's mouth, and did the same 'MWAH' smacking noise. "Tell Confetti about that one, he's gonna die he missed it," Iann said with a grin. When he got to Aedan, Iann mocked a wistful, needful sigh, then made a silly show of pretending to gobble at Aedan's face, like a vaudeville act of making out without actually touching.

Ephram snorted, pawing at his tickly face after Iann had removed his hand and moved on. "You tell 'im," he said with genial obstinateness. "He'll find it even cuter comin' from you." Ephram rearranged himself, raising one arm to make sure he didn't topple Aedan off the arm of his chair. "You doin' awright there, Wee Deer?" he asked. "Ribs and all feelin' okay?"

Bella pulled back, not wanting to be involved in anything that woman was involved in. "Or you could just rejoin us," she commented, unamused by the antics, of the impression Collette should apologise to every person who had tried to spend time with Iann and if she still wouldn't let him return now then she should be abandoned. Evident from her frown of an expression as she returned to her food.

Aedan. ‘My ribs are okay, but I’m not sure what Iann just did to my face!’ Aedan laughed at his ridiculousness.

Essie covered her drink flushed face when Iann caught her head. What an awkward thing to wish upon an entire group of people, but it wasn't so bad she supposed for the people he knew an awful lot better. She fiddles with Bellamys hair as the vampire is sat in front of her once it's all over.

Culloden watched with amusement, knowing he’d never go full on kisses. That hadn’t been why she asked anyway. But he always managed to make the weirdest dares fun to watch.

Bella chewed happily as Essie played with her hair. "I wish this had rides, can any of you magic us some like teacups or something?" Bella asked the three witches and the fae around her. Aedan was good at building things, so maybe.

Maya watched, amused as Iann took turns kissing, kind of, everyone at the table. She stretched a little, feeling the ache in her own ribs as Ephram asked about Aedan's. Shaking her head at Bella's question, she replied, "Not my area of expertise."

Ephram snorted, leaving his arm slung behind Aedan's hips with his hand dangling off the side of the chair. "Well, iffen you feel like shifting jes let me know. Cain't help you when it comes to coping with Cardero, though -- that there's a town-wide dilemma." He rolled his head to contemplate Bellamy's question, patting Aedan's thigh. "You figure your magic's up to it, Wee Deer? I don't mind lendin' some magic if you wanna make a design."

Bella began to pout as Maya said no before her face perked up tat Ephram and Aedan might be able to. "Yes, yes, yes!" she requested with excitement, gravy on her lips.

Aedan. ‘I can steal someone else’s teacups with my magic. Transport them here. Or make some out of... nature shite.’

Ephram laughed, sitting up and then shoving himself to his feet with a creaky groan. "No, no stealing. Let's go the nature shite route, huh? I'm good with that sorter thing."

Essie felt bad all she could add was "I can only make em look pretty."

Aedan. ‘Help me up, then. I’ll do the... thing.’ He wiggled his good fingers.

"Nature," Bella agreed firmly, quite happy for a flower looking teacup if at all possible. "Go help keep it pretty then!" she rushed Essie on, Maya too if the woman felt that was within her wheel house. It was nice to see them all working together, that was what had helped with the rifts after all.

Ephram stretched out his lower back and winked at Essie. "Makin' em pretty is the most important finishing touch," he said, then hoisted Aedan upright from the chair. "Awright, Irish. Design us a ride for the delectation of our friends."

‘Oh god the pressure is on.’ Aedan was finally up with Ephrams help and he stepped out of the tent into a clearing. Wounded as he was,

Maya finished off the last of her drink. It wasn't that she had no desire to help with creating some sort of ride, she simply had no skills to help. Her magic tended more towards emotional and mental effects. She nodded and agreed, "Making it pretty is the most important part." She stood then and added, "I'll be right back I'm going to investigate those IPA milkshakes Iann mentioned."

Aedan. and given the season, his magic appeared as orange and gold leaves. He used one hand, his injured one holding his ribs as the ground around the clearing shifted and woody plant looking vines started to burst from the wet soil.

Essie pushes herself out of the chair and bites her lip following the man out from under the rain cover the town were converged under. Watching the witch do his thing curiously.

Ephram murmured something unintelligible and stepped up next to Aedan's injured side, using his own body to bolster the other man as if they were horses standing in a field. Once he was sure Aedan was doing okay, he lifted his own hand, fingers curled in, tilting his thumb up and down as tendrils of silvery green shimmered their way into the vines to lend their own energy to the magic work.

Aedan. Their combined spellpower made the spell work faster and more efficiently, the vines curling up into shapes beyond aedan’s own comprehension. And soon enough something that looked like a naturally occuring funfair ride was waiting for them.

Ephram kept his magic funnelling steadily into the ride until Aedan signed off on it, letting his hand drop and surveying their work with satisfaction. "Well now!" he declared. "That looks like a right nice lil ride, for havin' sprung into existence all but five seconds ago. Essie, you wanna tie a bow on it all nice and pretty-like?"

Essie pauses for a moment before walking forward, hand on one of the bowls for sitting in she rubs her hands together and lets her plum coloured dust float into it. It's texture changing to cushy fabric on the inside. Running her hand on the outside it seemed to start to shine dully, like little lights were embedded within the vines.

Maya returned shortly later with an IPA milkshake. She gave the new ride a once over before saying, "Impressive."

Bella stood as everything came together, her finished food abandoned but not her sangria that she grabbed quickly as she moved closer to the display. "Aww, you guys," she gushed, giving each of them a quick squeeze as a thank you for fulfilling her rather ridiculous request. "It looks so amazing!"

Ephram applauded as the whole ride lit up, then stuck two fingers in his mouth and gave an obnoxiously loud whistle of approval. The sound drew attention from many of the other attendees, who started to filter over to exclaim over the ride, some of them already climbing into the bowls.

Ephram looked startled that he'd managed to call people over, squeezing Bellamy back as he watched them surround the ride. "Best hustle on in there afore you have to wait your turn, sweetpea," he said, giving her backside a friendly swat.

Aedan. beamed with pride at the team effort, before he sat himself down in a nearby chair.

Ephram caught sight of Maya with her milkshake and suddenly recalled the one that Iann had given him, loping back to his chair to collect it with a sigh of relief, as if it would have been stolen in his brief absence. "You want some?" he offered Aedan, rejoining the other witch. "Mmmm, malty. D'you have malted milkshakes in Ireland?" Ephram was thunderstruck by the possibility of the answer being no. "D'you have /milkshakes/ in Ireland?"

Essie stands back with a pleased smile as it lit up just how she'd imagined, nothing over the top, just some good old fashioned shine. Maybe she /was/getting better at this glamour thing. She stooped to help a small child into one of the open spaces as people filtered over to get into the new ride.

Maya stepped out of the way to let a few kids run up to the ride. She took a sip of her milkshake, rolling it on her tongue. "This is good, Iann," she said, "Good suggestion."

Bella "None of you are going to join? Really?" she frowned at them before she stepped up onto the ride. She was fine to go on without them but was admittedly disappointed.

Ephram shook his head at Bellamy's question, glancing down at himself. "Naw," he demurred. "Big as I am I'd probly crush the poor lil thing. Take Essie on with you!"

Aedan. ‘We have milkshakes. But I have no idea what a malted milkshake even is.’

Bella rolled her eyes, why even make it if they weren't going to have fun /with/ her? "Fine," she stated simply, holding her hand out in the hopes at least Essie would join.

Essie was smiling at the people piling into the cups of the ride when a hand appeared in front of her and the blinks back to reality. With a smile she takes it "Pick a cup~"

Ephram flushed a little bit at Bellamy's clear annoyance, but it wasn't enough to make him attempt to climb into one of those teacups and have it crumple under the size of him. "Anyhow," he said to the air in general, and then sucked on his milkshake.

Aedan. ‘So, are you going to give me a taste of your magical malt milkshake?’

Ephram startled a little out of his brown mood, giving Aedan a relieved sort of grin and holding out the cup. "Taste it first and if you like it I'll give you the rest," he said, lapsing into older brother/cousin mode.

Essie couldn't ride for very long before she got dizzy, spreading her wings to be lifted out without having to stop the ride, landing and sitting heavily on the grass watching the thing go still.

Aedan. ‘I don’t want all of it,’ he said as he stifled a chuckle. He gave a small slurp and frowned a little. Then tried it again. ‘Mhm, okay. I like it. That’s really nice.’

Maya sat down next to Essie. "Hey," she said, "How've you been?"

Essie smiles at Maya "Bit dizzy right this second but I'm trying my best. You?"

Maya shrugged, "I'm alright. Can't complain too much."

Ephram handed over the milkshake properly and nudged against Aedan's leg as he lowered himself to the grass, letting the back of his head rest against the arm of the chair. "New York's where I asked Freddie to git married," he said after a moment or two, flashing a smile up at Aedan.

Essie laughs a little "I mean I feel at this point we're all allowed a little bit of complaining right? Now it's all done and we gotta deal with it all."

Iann returned from the washrooms (as humans were known to frequent) and whistled at the sight of the pretty ride that seemed to spontaneously appear. "Holy shit," he marveled. Ah, Soapberry. Despite the horrors, it still had its charm, at least to him. He belatedly registered Maya's feedback on the milkshake and he grinned. "Oh really? I know I suggested it but I never actually tried it myself. Can I...uh...?" he motioned to her cup. "I don't got kooties."

Maya overhead Ephram telling Aedan that he'd asked Freddie to marry him in New York. She didn't quite understand why he wouldn't have mentioned that earlier when she had been talking to Aedan about New York. She didn't dwell on it for more than a few seconds though. Instead, she shrugged to Essie, "Probably. But I figure I shouldn't complain to people who all went through the same thing." Especially someone like Essie who'd seen her in that grocery store. Glancing up at Iann, she gave him a smile, "For sure." She held out the milkshake for him to taste.

Aedan 'Thanks.' He sipped his new drink and listened to Ephram. 'That's cute. Shame you didn't marry after I came to town. I could've got you a discount at some nice places.'

Collette. hung about the bar, talking to the bartender and accepting the free drinks.

Ephram snickered. "Ahhhhh it's fine. Freddie's a fairy and he's got fingers in jes about every high-society pie that exists in ... well, everywhere, so far as I can tell." He lifted one knee, folding his hands around his kneecap. "Or at least that's how it seems to me. But I never been nowhere before I moved to Soapberry so it's all new." He hadn't brought it up earlier since he didn't want to interrupt Aedan's and Maya's conversation and Bellamy had been talking to him, was all.

'He does seem the type to know everyone. I don't think he likes me much, though.' Aedan huffed a laugh. 'But you can find contacts everywhere if you look for them hard enough.'

Essie shrugs at Maya. Whatever the other proffered. Some liked to speak about things, and some liked to process alone. She was more on the processing alone side, but she'd lend an ear where she could. Curling her legs to her chest and rests her chin on them just listening.

Iann opened the lid up and sampled it the milkshake. "Wow, this is incredible. Thanks for that," he said handing it back to Maya first, then headed over to Collette. "You say booze and dairy don't mix? I want you to try something with me."

"Of course," Maya replied as she took the milkshake back. Turning back to Essie, she said, "I'm alright though. Really." Of course, she then took a moment to stretch out her back and a flash of ache went across her face.

Collette. 'Hm?' She glanced at Iann and raised her brows at him. 'Fine. But if we are all unwell later, I know who to blame.' She gave him a grin.

Back to the food trucks, where Iann found the one offering the IPA ice cream floats. He got one vanilla and one coffee just for shits and giggles. "Give the vanilla one whipped cream and sprinkles? And the cherry!" Iann requested from the food truck person, who complied, handing it to Collette.

Ephram nodded, a look of pride crossing his face as he thought about his travels with Freddie and how deft his fairy was at navigating a world that Ephram found baffling and overwhelming, for all that he was eager to see it. "Oh, Freddie and I have surprisingly few friends in common," Ephram murmured, figuring there was no point trying to claim that no, honestly, Freddie /did/ like the Irish witch and they just 'needed to hang out more' or any such thing. If the two of them ever came around, then great; if they didn't, then oh well.

'I don't mind. As long as we get to stay friends.' Aedan petted Ephram's hair with his bandaged hand.

Collette. followed Iann out and watched him order her drink. When she took the drink, she looked down at it with wonder. She knew it was going to make her sick later. But god did it look tasty.

Iann took the coffee one, and sampled it. "Oh god really? Brainfreeze already?" he said, because he's gulped down the ice cream a little too fast.

Collette. giggled at the sight of Iann's face twisting with brain freeze. 'Okay. Let me try mimic you.' She took a mouthful of her's and winced. 'Gah.'

Essie bites her lip and points at Mayas face "That's not the face of alright you know that?"

Maya gave a half laugh. "Not my first bruised ribs, I'm fine," she explained. She took another sip of her drink. "Did you want to try this too or nah?" she asked.

Ephram leaned a little bit into Aedan's petting, always pleased when people he was being friendly with returned the physical shows of affection that he himself was prone to displaying. "Irish," he said contemplatively, "d'you think that livin' here, in Soapberry, we git too accustomed to strange shit happenin'? Or is it just that the nature of the shit is particularly strange here, and if we lived in the regular world we'd have the same coping patterns anyhow?"

Essie gave the girl a look. "I can try my hand at healin?" she offers shaking her head at the offer of the milkshake, holding up her never ending refills of sangria, already starting to sway a little even seated from how much she'd been having.

Maya weighed that in her head for a moment. "Not to be a complete asshole, but when you say try your hand, how likely is it to make it worse?"

Aedan 'I've not been here long enough to be changed. I've been meeting ghosts for years and magic would always exist.'

Iann "Show off, you don't get brainfreeze huh," he said, grumbling but with humour. He took another drink, pleased this time. "That's delicious."

Collette. 'I do! Just not as bad as you do, it seems.' She beamed at him as she continued to consume her float.

Iann "C'mon, lets go back and join the others, unless you don't want to, then I guess we can just chill here?"

Collette. 'We can hang out with the others. I don't want you missing out for my sake.'

Essie looked a tiny bit offended. "Worst that can happen is nothing happens." she argues lightly. "Never made anything worse before, never."

Any concern in Maya's expression immediately disappeared. "Oh then totally go for it, I'll try whatever," she added.

Essie shuffles closer, letting her knees move as she reaches out, placing her hands on mayas sides she closes her eyes. "If you can guide my hands to where it hurts most I can try my best to ease it." she suggests 

Ephram gave a quiet humph. "Now that you mention it," he said wryly, "reckon growin' up with a demon as a roommate sorter rules out any notion that I had a normal life before Soapberry anyhow."

 'We were messed up before we came here.' Aedan huffed a laugh and continued to pet Ephram.

Ephram wriggled his shoulder against Aedan's leg to find the most comfortable spot, careful not to jar the other witch's hand. He watched Essie and Maya, saying, "I guess she got her ribs stove in too."

Aedan 'Mmhm, mine was from the boat whipping about in the water.'

"It's really just my ribs," Maya replied. At the very least that was all that Essie could help with. Her difficulty sleeping hadn't even been helped by her own magic. "Just, uh, got for it, I guess," she said, trying not to let her slight discomfort show in her face. Essie wanted to help. And Maya was trying to be better about letting people help her.

Essie found it took a lot more concentration than it usually did but soon enough she felt her hands shifting easing the bruising slowly. Eyes still closed until she felt she had done. Withdrawing her hands she opens her eyes looking at Maya curiously "Did I get it all?" it was always a little harder on other people, as it was hard to tell points of pain when you couldn't feel them yourself.

Maya never really liked the feeling of being magically healed. Her insides always felt like someone was tugging the tender edges together. Or yanking them together at the worst. All things considered though, probably thanks to the healing that had already taken place, this wasn't bad. She let out a breath and stretched again. The pain and ache was gone, save for the last faded echoes. By tomorrow morning, those would likely be gone too. "Yeah, thanks," she said with a smile.

"D'you really not wanna be healed with magic?" Ephram tilted his head a little into Aedan's softly petting hand. "I got whanged up all to shit in them loony rift holes but Freddie healed me up every night. Fairy dust's great that way -- gosh Essie's is a pretty colour, ain't it?"

Aedan 'I'm fine. If it gets too bad, then I'll ask. Deal?'

Ephram settled in place. "Deal."

Essie smiles at Maya, much happier to know she'd done something alright, lifting the final dregs of sangria Essie hums and looks around for another drink. Now particularly wanting to have something strong, something to shoot. "Want some shots of something?" she asks as a whole to the group.

Maya nodded, "Yeah, I'll take a shot."

Ephram perked up, or at least he stopped drowsing for a moment. "Sure do!" he said to Essie. "Whatever you're gettin', I ain't picky, thank you, Essie."

Aedan 'I'll have shots, if you're offering.'

Essie smiles and flutters to her feet. Not trusting her balance all that well to struggle to her feet normally. Off to the bar she passes by Colette and Iann, giving them a beaming smile as she leans over to order shots. Her mood picking up further when the person on the other side of the table starts offering fancy things. she goes a little mad ordering laughing to herself at each choice.

Ephram watched Essie with a faintly amused smile. "Maybe somebody ought to've gone with her."

Maya had to smile too as Essie started gathering fancy shots. She shrugged though, "Eh, she's having fun."

Ephram "She's very talented, isn't she? With her dust and all. I'm glad she came to work at the station -- we need somebody with her sorter gumption and git-go."

Maya nodded, taking a sip of her milkshake. "Yeah, she is," she agreed. She had been a little nervous when she'd realized who Iann was sitting with earlier. But so far no one had asked her about the grocery store incident. It help her relax. She was tempted to say that Ruby had plenty of gumption and get-go too, but decided against it. Even in her own head, it sounded too much like suggesting competition between the two women. She wasn't, of course, but because of Danny she thought better to avoid it altogether. "And I'm sure I'll be thanking her tomorrow when my ribs aren't stiff as shit."

Essie unfolded a napkin at the makeshift bar and sprinkles dome dust on it to make it rigid enough to be a tray of sorts. Collecting her shots she heads back to them unable to stifle her laugh as she settles the red napkin in the middle of them. "So the guy was really damn nice-" she says not realizing at all she'd been being flirted with back there. "-and I have an 'Irish car bomb' because I couldn't resist, a 'honey dew me', a 'Passed out naked on the bathroom floor', and a 'hot damn'." she presents looking back at Iann and Collette wondering belatedly if she'd have picked them something too.

Ephram sat up more, reaching out for the last of Essie's shots. "Well hot damn!" he declared with a grin, and threw the drink back, only to instantly wheeze and start panting, his eyes watering. "hot ... hot fuckin' damn. oh shit."

"I'll take the Naked one," Maya replied. She tipped it back easily. The alcohol burned its way down her throat. "Yep, that's going to be all my drinking for today," she said after a hard blink," Except for finishing this milkshake obviously."

Essie lets her knees hit the grass by the sheriffs side and clap him on the back a few times trying to help him out. "Too much?" she says worriedly looking over at Maya too.

Maya shook her head with an amused smile, "Nah, I'm just pacing myself today."

Ephram continued to wheeze, thankful for the claps on the back and indicating that Essie should continue. He twisted up clumps of grass from the ground and started chewing on the blades like a bothered sheep, swishing the green mush around his mouth for a while before sighing in relief and then leaning heavily into Essie with a laugh. "Lil monkey," he chided her, more chuckling at his own predicament for rushing for that shot than anything. "Ahhh, it's my own dang fault, I shoulda asked you what was in em before grabbin'!"

Essie hums in acknowledgement of Maya taking it slow still thumping her small hand onto Ephrams back. Making a face when he rips up some grass to eat. "Not a fan of hot sauce huh?" huffing a small breath at being called something like a monkey for the second time that day. She reaches for the irish car bomb and downs it as she's leaned into.

Ephram shook his head. "Never did git used to the stuff," he said. "What, don't tell me you's one'a them folks what orders up the ghost pepper death-hot wings at restaurants for fun?" Ephram swallowed the chewed grass and stole back what was left of the milkshake he'd given Aedan, sucking it down till the straw rattled.

Maya 's phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out to read the text. "I gotta go see a man about a horse, but you guys have fun yeah?" she said as she stood, "And Essie shoot me a text about when you're free for wine club."

Aedan remained a little disturbed by the car bomb shot but it was alcohol so dammit. He reached out for the second Irish one and downed it with a hiss.

Aedan made a strained noise and waved goodbye at Maya.

Ephram waved at Maya as she left, patting Aedan's foot at his strangled sound. "Wine club, huh?" he raised impressed eyebrows at Essie. "Sounds awful fancy, Ms. Caird."

Essie "Of course I do. Why would you do it not for fun?" she shoots back, a lot more comfortable than she would be usually if left with her boss and basically a stranger, she blamed the alcohol. She raises a happy hand to Maya as she heads out. "Oh uh...it's not that fancy I swear. And it's also not really a real club either." taking note that perhaps her shot choices had been a little too strong for the others, duly noted.

Ephram chortled. "You're way braver than me. I cain't even hardly eat buffalo wings without a couple gallons of milk on hand." He ran a hand through his hair, rumpling it even though he'd been intending to straighten it. "No way. It ain't possible to have a wine club and not have it be fancy. I mean ... /wine/." Ephram leaned heavily on the word, giving it great import, then added a little tipsily, "...I usually drink mine with the husband in the bathtub, though. So I reckon that don't count as fancy."

Essie "Don't think it's necessarily braver, maybe just uh...more adventurous? I still cry when it gets too hot like everyone else." she admits easily. "But that doesn't mean stop eating." shooting Aedan a small shrug when she caught his eye, maybe he could weight in. At the personal reference Essie bites her lip and speaks slowly. "That's very sweet. It's a lovely thought." this was where Essie usually put her foot in her mouth but she managed to stop the clarifying words leaving her mouth, it'd make things awkward best just try it out as is.

Ephram smiled at the memory, closing his eyes for a moment, and then got up to his feet. "I best git me some food afore I doze off from the liquor," he announced. "Be back in a tick, awright?"

[just-breathe-fight-cf]

Possible End Of The 68 Year Korean War?

2018 SUMMIT PREFACE:

     For over 68 years, the United States has been in a armistice with North Korea after the massive failure which was called the Korean War (The Forgotten War). Most don’t know the horrors that came out of North Korean back in the 1950s that sent young men to their deaths for a politically charged feud against the powers of Soviet Russia and their closes ally, Communist China.

     My family has personal reasons to despise the North Korean regime for a war that nearly took the life of my grandfather, Donald Bruer. For many years he refused to talk about the war...it gave him night-terrors! For 68 years, the United States has made pointless mistakes with dealing with the dictators of NK.

     Since my time (Age of President Reagan), the presidents have made empty promises to deal with the North Korean Dictator on the bases of War Crimes and humanitarian failure. President Clinton funded Kim Jong-il’s maddness to create nuclear weaponry and President Bush and President Obama ignored the humanitarian crises as King Jong-un weaponized these weapons and spread rhetorical about the hostility of the United States.

     With President Trump being the first president to meet with the Dictator on June 11th 2018 (June 12th 2018 in Capella, Singapore) at 5pm (PDT) (9am GMT+8); it would be foolish to predict how this meeting will go. I personally think this Summit needs to happen, but I hope that we don’t give anything to the Dictator except that he gets to keep his life and failed government as long as he denuclearize and opens his country for humanitarian aid.

     With how bombastic President Trump can be, he needs to exercise his restraint in this meeting to handle this as if this was an important business meeting. If we can have Jong-un take some accountability for the reality of his country...that might be a win for the 28 million people of North Korea.

     Kim Jong-un might mingle well with the curiosity of President Trump as Kim has a curiosity of the Western World through his preferences of Hollywood movies, the economy and Western culture. This is some grounds to work with as Kim Jong-un’s father had no interest in the Western World and was trying to live up to his own fathers rule after the Japanese occupation in the 1940s. However, it would seem that both leaders are optimistic for their own reasons: President Trump could bring peace to the Korean Peninsula and end the Korean War for once and for all! And Kim Jong-un could maintain power while his people are given a chance to thrive and one day unite the two Korean states to work together like Hong Kong works with China.

*______________________________________________________________*

WAR IS HELL -- The Battle Of Old Baldy -- Korean War

Based On The Accounts Of Donald David Bruer ~ Sergeant Of The 45th Division

     When I was in Elementary academics, I’d ask my parents, “Why doesn’t Grandfather talk about his time in Korea, I mean, it is history and I’m curious?” and my parents would tell me that ever since he arrived back from the war, he never wanted to talk about it, he never even told his wife about the two years he was apart from her, even though he was apparently shot 11 times, shrapnel by a grenade and advanced from a Private all the way up the chain of command to head commander of the 45th division in 1 month.

     When I was in Junior High School, I’d look at his wore down hands and see hummocky callous upon his skin like gigantic tumors bulging from the epidermis just below the rough, leather-like flesh, scared and tinted with a blanch mixture of yellow and salmon rawhide. “What are those?” I’d say to my grandfather, and immediately his eyes would look down at the two bumps protruding an inch out, and those eyes seemed to swell with sadness…an emotion unseen in the complexion of my grandfather, which was usually stern, but gentle.

     As I looked into his sorrowful eyes, my young mind races over the ideas to why a man of such pride and authority becomes sorrowful at the hint of these wounds. For awhile, I would watch a war movie and ask my granddad if he ever served in any war and he’d never look at me, he’d just stare at the television and would say “Yes.” and he’d just leave it at that.

     When I attended South Kitsap High School I seek for an answer to my question, but all I found were more questions. I wondered in silent meditation, ‘why was he avoiding the talk of war…maybe he never was in a war, maybe it is something different?’ I wondered what could actually trigger these emotions, why he would not speak about the ordeal, and what actually could have happened to cause him to silence, when this is not usually his characteristic for socialization. In my grievance, I would never know until I was in college and I dared ask the question once again. When my grandfather did speak, I learned some information that made me consider if really knowing what happened was any of my concern.

      When my grandfather was only seventeen years old, his own father was a veteran in the Second World War, and his grandfather was a veteran in the First World War, both serving the German army. Grandfather Bruer, formally named Donald Bruer was a young boy who just moved from Minnesota to Washington and has seen plenty of death and hardship in the 17 years of his life, but the next three to four years of his life would prove to be the most difficult for him.

     Five years since Hitler and Mussolini shook the world with their war against humanity; the United States was back in the war-saddle with the Korean radicals of North Korea and the Chinese communist of the north world. Most of the young men were joined with veterans from WWII and for the young men of the 45th Infantry; they rode off to Japan for training before they experience the horrors of Korea.

     When I asked Grandfather about his journey to Japan, he said that the men of the 40th and 45th Infantry were having a good time, playing cards and speaking great stories of drunken times. When I listened to the story I shook my head…these boys must have had no idea of the terror that they were going to face. “What about the WWII veterans?” I asked, “They must have been scared?” I added, but by the look in my grandfathers’ eyes, I knew this was the wrong question to ask. I also learned never to use the word scared when talking to a veteran, it’s an insult to their bravery and I wondered if I was actually making the situation worse.

     “Quiet…they were quiet.” He just replied. He’d take off his glasses and rub his eyes and release a fake yawn to cover-up the tears in his eyes.

     As I sat in a chair, watching a video on the Korean War, I’d ask him a question that my mind could not fathom. “What was it like,” clarifying my question, I refined my question to a singular purpose, “I mean, the whole time you were there?”

     My grandfather would look at the television showing him pictures of South Korea at the 38th Parallel and he’d just say one word at first…“Cold!” He would remove his glasses again and rub his eyes and then dare to look at the television screen, while adding on from his 50-plus years of suppressed memories, “I joined the Military and was shipped to Japan in June of 1952. By July of 1952 we arrived in Korea through the landing port of Posan and joined the Turkish, Canadian and US40 regiments and were sent to the Chorwon Valley.”

     I had to interrupt him, “The Turkish and Canadian’s?” I thought with my feeble mind that the Korean War was a Policing Action only by the American’s to respond to the threat of communism from the Chinese and North Korean’s under Russian jurisdiction?

     “Yes…those Turks!” He’d look at me and say, “When they came to Korea, they brought their sabers, said it was their religion,” he’d laugh sarcastically, “one of the worst fighter I’d say.”

     I really did not know where to go from there…I was sort of surprised to learn that the United States was not alone in this war, but when I come to think about it, we don’t learn much about the brave fighting men of the Korean War, we actually seem to skip over that war, to come to think about it, I don’t really think many students from elementary to collage could even tell you when the Korean War started and ended…I know I could not, and to think that one of my grandparents served in that war and I knew not a thing about it.

     With this lack of knowledge I turned the tables on the discussion. “What about the winter months?” I paused and then added, “Where did you go and what exactly did you do while in Korea?”

     I could see him actually tense up, his eyes narrow and his lips tremble with anguish…‘this was it’ I thought, ‘the Rosetta stone to the secret that plagued my family for 50 years.’ I listened to every gasp and sigh as he lay back in his chair. His eyes were fixed on the television screen and his hands buried so I could not see him crumble and fall into grief. It then occurred to me…he did not talk about the war because it was embarrassing or frightening. Instead, when I would look at the period of 1952, the Korean War for the American forces had went south, and the boys overseas weren’t fighting a war of liberation as it was in 1950-1951. It was now a suicide run, morality rate was less than 10 percent, and due to hospitable conditions of the harsh winter months, the veterans saw a war of death!

     “I was to hold the Chorwon Valley Road; there were many hills in that location. In the morning, you’d walk up one hill thinking camp was on the other side, and at the top you’d slip and slid down into an 80 percent grade of mud, snow and blood. The mortars would loosen the ground up so much that just climbing the hill was hell. You’d take a step forward, and slide a half a step back.

     At night, I remember that we’d set up camp, we were always cold, for the night was usually a negative 30 I’d say. I remember talking to one of the boys about home and when morning would come, I’d shake to waken him and he’d fall over, eyes wide open, dead from freezing to death. We boy’s did anything to stay warm, from slitting our own wrist and drinking our warm blood, to drinking our own urine. There was a couple times I drank my own urine to stay alive…never could come to mind to slit my wrist though, but if I was that desperate, I’d do it.”

     As I just sat there, the pit of my stomach must have hit the ground. I knew what it was like to be cold…really cold. I myself was camping in Utah during the winter when it would get about 15 degrees at night, cold enough that your toes and fingers go so numb that you can cut them and don’t feel it. Imagine a negative 30 and living out here for months. I just could not fathomed the brutality of war lifestyles…it’s nothing like that of the movies you see where the men have the strength to carry on. Grandfather described the next best thing to Hell itself. I’d have nightmares if I had to spend a week in his shoes. Just the idea that I might be shot in my sleep or froze to death in my sleep, and all that marching from place to place, but this was just the lifestyle of war, what about the fighting. Statistics have it that the Korean War soldier spent 90 percent fighting and 10 percent not fighting, so could it have been the fighting that caused my Grandfathers silence for the past 50 years? I was just about to find out.

     “Where did you go?” I asked, engaged in the period he was willing to talk, wondering if I should even attempt to ask this question.

     “There was a valley where a road leads to the north and to the south through the Chorwon Valley.”

     “So you guarded a road?” I asked, trying to engage the conversation so it would not die.

     He shook his head and then looked at me for the first time in this moment of reflection. “You remember that picture on my wall I shown you when you were young?” I just nodded, wondering what this picture was all about. “That was the 45th division, nearly 400 young boys; only 13 of them are still living.” I thought to myself, I remember that picture, black and white it is. Like a school photo shot, I can’t comprehend to think only 13 of those boys survived to brutality of the war. “You even heard of the hill named Pork Chop Hill?” I shook my head, I would have spoken, but my own nerves and senses were strangling my vocals. “I had to take that hill 5 times. We’d charge up that hill running from barrack to manhole and claim ground and then retreat, four times I had to retreat with the 45th because the Chinese and Korean’s mortar fire and gunfire. Bullets flying every direction you could not think. When the mortars fells your hearing would be lost for minutes to hours depending how close you were.

     On the last attempt to secure that damn hill, we had no choice, no surrender no retreat, take it or die, for a division of our tanks were coming and if we did not take that hill, they’d never make it out of the valley. The last attempt we made it to the top, I was called by the tank division general on our status and asked me to find the general of the division, and I told him he was dead. He asked for the commander and I looked around and he was dead, then the sergeants and they all were dead…he then asked who was the highest in command and I looked at the handful of my boys and most of them were privates, medics, engineers so I realized I was next in command so I said I was. I was then told to hold that hill and that reinforcements were coming.

     I was so shot up from that last siege that I don’t even remember leaving Korea, I just remember looking at the bodies of my friends, my officers, the bodies of the 40th division and Canadian and Turkish, the Koreans and Chinese…the hill wasn’t much to look at, no trees, just holes, bodies, blood, machines and flags of many nations…all one color…brownish red. We took Pork Chop Hill and held it along with T-bone Hill, Hill 223, Hill 200, Alligator Jaws, Heartbreak Ridge, Old Baldy and some castle.

     About a week later I awoke in Japan, I nearly died, but a young Japanese woman kept me alive. Since then, I look back upon the Korean War,” He shakes his head and then takes a deep breath, “we had no reason to be there. No God damn reason at all.”

     As I closed my notebook and agreed to what my Grandfather had said, I knew now exactly why they call it the Forgotten War. We lost the war, we were overrun by the Chinese and Korean forces and in the end we paid the ultimate price on a game of warfare.

     For a long time I wondered why it was so hard for my Grandfather to talk about the war and now I knew. It wasn’t a war, it was a slaughter. 400 men against 4 divisions of Chinese’s and Korean’s, out gun, out flanked, out witted, but what the communist forces did not have was the willpower to fight against men who I can only describe as courageous and brave.

[ber-bonfamille-lyons]

The Madness of Taka Lyons

Summary: After his meeting with Milla, Taka takes matters into his own hands. He finds Berlioz Bonfamille all alone...

TW: assault, violence, thoughts of death 

@takalyons

Further Reading: The Investigation Begins – Copper and Taka Liars and Loopholes – Taka and Rodmilla A Helpful Interrogation – Copper and Nala Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder – Simba and Taka Rock Bottom - Sweet and Nala Your Obedient Servant – Taka and Rodmilla The Night Must End- Simba, Berlioz, and Nala 

[Dated July 17]

TAKA:

Taka was furious, he was betrayed, he was... he was at the end of his rope. Milla had severed all ties with him even though they were tied together in this. His company, his empire was going to be ripped from him. The Goldbergs wouldn’t speak to him, he was alone. And a leader, a pack animal alone, was not a good thing. It made them unpredictable and aggressive. And Taka was both of those things. So unhinged and paranoid that he had evacuated his home and taken up residence at his bachelor pad. It was the only way to remain safe, to plot his revenge. Taka Lyons would not go down without a fight.

Which is exactly how he had wound up lurking outside of the building housing PrideU’s radio station. If he was going to go down he would do so on his terms. There were demands he wanted met and they would be. Because he would have collateral that would ensure that. After all, his insipid little nephew would be crushed if his darling boyfriend got hurt. The repercussions didn’t bother him. He’d deal with them when that time came. Now he just wanted to hit the enemy where it would hurt.

The moment the door opened, Taka made his move. He had the plan laid out in his head. Lure the boy to his flat for dinner with the pretense that Simba would be there too. Get his phone off him, preferably break it. Then wait. It wouldn’t take Simba long to realize that Berlioz was missing. He adored the boy more than anything and the elder Lyons knew exactly how his nephew was when his nephew was when he was head over heels. He’d fall into the ploy easily and just the way Taka wanted him to.

“Mister Bonfamille,” he called out, taking large strides to catch up to the boy. “Berlioz. I am sure you remember me,” he gave him a wide grin. “Simba sent me to fetch you. Something about a surprise. He seemed bursting at the seams. You know he isn’t the best at keeping secrets. Especially when they concern something for you.”

BERLIOZ:

Berlioz had just sauntered outta the radio station, putting his phone in his pocket, after sending a text to Simba actually. He always did after his shifts were over, typing out a fast message that he was comin’ on home, that he’d be there in just about twenty minutes, and that he loved him. And Simba had texted back with a picture of the food they’d be eating and a real enthusiastic Hurry up!!

Yup, that was the exact number of exclamation points he’d used. 

So naturally, Ber stopped dead, foot scuffing the asphalt, seein’ Taka Lyons of all people in the parking lot. The last time he’d talked to Taka, really talked, was over a year ago when he’d invited Simba and Berlioz over for dinner. It’d been an awkward hour or so, but in the end Ber had survived, happy to be outta there if only because something about Taka gave him that strange uncomfortable feeling in his gut. It was like a mad sixth sense of his. He’d gotten it around Mitte too, got it before getting jumped by the Adamson boy. And with the investigation and the news that Taka was probably responsible for the car crash...

And now, with his hand lingering on his phone and Taka strolling on over, the feeling switched on. It was like his entire body was an alarm. Trouble, this is trouble. This is bad. This is not good.

Still, he smiled politely at Taka, swallowing at that uncomfortable lump in his throat. The chill ran up his spine at what Taka said.

That feeling said loud and clear: Don’t get in the car.

“Oh, really, that’s uh-- wow,” said Ber, rubbing at the back of his neck as he glanced down at his own shoe. “Just like Simba, really.”  His hand was still stuck in his jacket pocket, thumb wiping over the screen of his phone. “Uh, I was-- I was actually gonna meet my family for dinner, can I-- just call ‘em real fast? To let ‘em know?” he said and he got out his phone, finger swiping up the screen.

TAKA:

If he had been working at even a half of what he normally was, Taka would have noticed Berlioz’s discomfort. As it was he didn't care. He knew the boy would come with him. If only because it was a surprise from his boyfriend, someone who loved surprises. Knowing his nephew so well certainly did come in handy, even if getting all that information had been painstaking and annoying.

But as inconvenient as it was for Berlioz to be making phone calls, Taka shook his head with that warm ‘uncle’ smile. “Simba took care of it. He’s already made the phone calls. And it they were anywhere near as long as the one he made to me about setting this up, I’m sure your family knows much more than they wanted to know,” Taka chuckled warmly. He gestured for Ber to follow him, leading him easily to the car that sat waiting. It would take them back to his flat where Taka would keep the boy. What he would do from there, he wasn't sure.

Maybe he’d walk out and actually hire someone to take the boy to an undisclosed location. He could play the hero then. Who would want to put a local hero in prison? No one, that is for sure. Or he could drug him once they were in the car. Just as he had done with Simba. Make him believe that he had been held hostage and that Taka had rescued him. Assure him every passing day that Simba was going to be there. He just had to get better first. Or he could convince him that Simba didn't love him. That one would be the most satisfying if only to see Berlioz break completely. Because that was what love did. It made you weak.

But first he had to get the boy to his flat.

BERLIOZ:

His throat felt so thick he wasn’t sure he could breathe, and that twisting in his gut didn’t go away. Ber flashed back to a couple months ago, to a different him and a different world and a different man staring at him with a crocodile smile. He’d known Roscoe was gonna take him and hurt him the same way that he knew Taka-- Taka wanted something. He didn’t know what but it couldn’t be good, right, or why wouldn’t he just come out and say it?

Or maybe he was just being mad and this was all his anxiety playing tricks on him.

For a second, Ber considered that and let his feet drag a step or two after Taka. Simba just went through really really elaborate measures to surprise him this time, that’s all. Took pics of a different meal. Asked Taka instead of any of his … normal friends, like Silver or Jane or hey, even Peg, who worked at the radio with him and so would’ve made the most sense. Haha, yeah, this was just a really convoluted surprise--on the heel of them figuring out Taka’s massive secret...

Well if that was true then if he called him in a half-panic and told him Sorry I know I’m being crazy but why is your uncle taking me to his flat why are we having a surprise dinner at his flat, Simba would just soothe him and come clean and -- Ber would ruin the surprise but--

Or he could call Lou and ask Lou if Simba had called him, and if Lou said no, then he’d know it was a big lie, and if Lou said yes, then he didn’t ruin the surprise--

Ber’s feet stopped abruptly then, nearly at the car. “Oh uh, shit, y’know, I left somethin’ at the station, actually. I’ll just go run in and grab it,” he said to Taka and before Taka could stop him, he turned and started heading back the way he came, that phone of his still clutched in his hand.

TAKA:

They were nearly to the car, all Taka had to do was open the door and usher Berlioz in. But of course the boy wanted to run. Why did the boy have to make it so difficult? His mind was made up, though, as he quickly opened the car door and pulled out a concealable syringe. He’d have to drug the boy. Which was going to make it hard to get him out of the area without being seen.

Still, he caught up with Berlioz quickly and grabbed hold of his arm just before he could enter the building. “Haven’t you ever seen a horror movie?” he sighed. “Running is never the best option.”

It was all too easy to inject the boy. He may have struggled but the sedative worked fast and soon he was slumped into the older Lyons. Not ideal but it would work. While he supported the young boy’s weight, Taka pulled his phone out and quickly dialed the driver for help. Cover story if anyone saw them? Young Berlioz had passed out, probably from some drug, and Taka was simply taking him home. It wouldn't be too outlandish. Though if he wasn't careful the news could get back to Simba which would not be ideal.

“Make sure no one is in the immediate area.” It was a simple instruction ground out as he situated himself to be able to take all of Berlioz’s weight. “We cannot be seen, do you understand?” When the man nodded, Taka moved towards the door, waiting for his signal. It came shortly after and Taka moved as quickly as he could to the car.

From there it was easy sailing getting to the flat. He was able to get Belioz inside with little difficulty. All he had to do was wait for the boy to wake up. Then the fun would begin.

BER:

Berlioz walked fast, his eyes cast down on his phone as he pulled up Lou’s contact. He’d just hit it when Taka grabbed his arm, yanking him away from the building. He stumbled and his heart flew into his throat. He knew a second before the pinch of the needle that it was already too late. Taka’s hiss in his ear didn’t do anything but unleash the terror his anxiety had festered. His eyes bulged and he opened his mouth. “Hel--”

That was all he got out before his vision blurred to black, the sweat crawled up his spine, and he passed out. - In the dark there was no music. He didn’t dream anything, couldn’t hear anything, could only feel the weight of whatever it was that Taka gave him as it filled up his entire body like cement. . In the months that followed, Berlioz would think about that kind of weight and how it felt akin to sleep and how sleep felt akin to peace. He would miss it, this heaviness, a kind of solidness that was still hollow inside, like he was a stone that could not be broken. It was the waking up that Berlioz would come to fear. - When he did wake up, he woke up slowly, the world spinning around him as his senses trickled in. Sound-- something, someone, movin’ round the room. Air conditioning unit was on. Smell-- some kinda air freshener. Wasn’t familiar. Taste. His mouth was sour. Touch. His head throbbed, there was something tight around him. Sight. Ber’s eyes peeled open and Taka’s apartment shifted into focus. He didn’t know...why he was here. He didn’t… remember. He’d been at the radio station. He was at the radio station and then he… then he… Ber’s body jerked against the ties around him and he looked down. A chain of confused French spilled from his tongue, garbled and slurred.Then he spotted Taka from across the room and it all stopped, and Ber got cold and silent. He stared across the room, his heart pounding in his chest. He was too scared to ask what he was thinking: What are you doing? What are you going to do-- to me?

TAKA:

While Berlioz was unconscious, Taka had time to think. Had time to figure out the rest of everything. From the start the end goal was to lure Simba to him. If he could do that then everything would go back to the way it was. The town would mourn the loss of Mufasa’s son the same way they had mourned Mufasa. It would forget the investigation if only to allow the company to grieve. To allow Taka to grieve for his nephew, his only nephew.

Then he’d be able to rebuild his empire. It was foolproof.

It was Berlioz’s muttering that brought him out of his thoughts and caused a malicious grin to spread over his lips. “Ah, Master Bonfamille, we are awake,” he looked over to him as he took a bite of the dinner that had been prepared. “I had hoped we could dine together but your earlier antics proved rather tiresome and I would not like to risk another attempt at escape.”

He explained this easily, as if they were discussing the weather. Taka was so certain that his plan would go down without a hitch. Had planned accordingly for it. Truthfully, he didn't see how flawed it was. How suspicious he would look. He’d barely been in town a year and there was an investigation. He had not played his part well. Rodmilla was right, he was a risk. But his mind told him differently and it was his mind that had gotten him so far in life.

With a flick of his wrist another man entered the room; a hired muscle Taka had used multiple times in the past. He didn't want to get his hands dirty, so to speak. Not yet at least. Berlioz was nothing in his eyes. Didn't deserve for Taka to spend his time making an example of. No, Taka’s energy would be saved for his troublesome nephew. That was all he was looking forward to. The death of the last Lyons’ heir. It was almost poetic.

“Not too hard, Art. I do not want him to forget everything... yet.” Taka chuckled as the first sounds of flesh striking flesh hit the room. It took only a few more times before he moved to turn the music player up, a french composer playing loud enough to drown out the sounds as Taka returned to his dinner.

BER

Berlioz did not get a chance to respond. To plea. To bargain. He woulda done any of those things, every piece of his brain locked in to getting himself outta this somehow, getting himself out and keeping Simba away-- because he knew that was who Taka really wanted. He wanted to make Simba nothin’ more than a file stashed in the downstairs of the hospital, a mistake and a tragedy, like Mufasa.

Berlioz wasn’t gonna let it happen. He’d convince Taka not to, no matter what it took. Promises of money (Berlioz would give everything he had), promises to disappear. He could take Simba far away. They never had to come back to Swynlake.

But a man entered, dark eyed, tall, like a shadow turned solid. Ber’s heart flew into his mouth. He jerked in the chair again and the ropes dug into the skin of his arms. “No, T-Taka, I-- what are you--”

And then the first punch came, striking him across the cheek, right as Armide seeped through the speakers.

Armide-- his maman had once played her. Berlioz remembered the overture trumpeting through the house. He remembered his mother’s voice, strong and desperate, how it climbed, how it soared. He remembered Nounou chopping onions in the kitchen and humming--

Another punch, Berlioz crying out. Armide began to sing-- Enfin, il est en ma puissance--!  

At last, he is under my power. The man’s knuckles bludgeoned his other cheek. Berlioz saw his Maman’s blue eyes.

Ce fatal ennemi, ce superbe vainqueur. Another sharp blow, Ber’s vision red. This mortal enemy, this proud conqueror.  His Maman fixed Berlioz’s bowtie before they settled in the operahouse. All the lights were low. Behave, Berlioz, she tutted at him. Try not to squirm.

The strings scraped the air, Armide’s voice pierced like a dagger. Ber’s cries climbed but they could not overwhelm all that music. It buried him underneath it.

TAKA:

The music wafted through the room, Berlioz’s cries and Art’s carefully aimed hits muffled beneath it. It sent a thrill through Taka because he knew it was happening, watching it happen as he ate his pate. To an outsider this would seem barbaric, cruel, but to Taka this was tame. He had watched murders happen while having normal conversation. Seeing a boy being beaten was nothing. Especially considering he knew how it would affect his nephew.

Oh he honestly could not wait to see the look on Simba’s face when he saw Berlioz bloody and broken. To know that it was entirely his fault. If he had just left the boy alone he would have spared him. Of course in that instance Taka would have just taken one of his friends. The fairy girl or the one with the wings. Maybe even Nala. He knew he’d have fun with her. Breaking her spirit would have been much more than this. It was a missed opportunity but he could deal with it.

When Berlioz woke next, Taka was seated on the couch with a magazine, reading it idly. Really his attention was on the boy, waiting for him to wake up. It shouldn't take long. Art hadn't gone too hard on the boy, he’d seen the man do much worse in less time. “Welcome back, Mister Bonfamille. I will assume that the current music is to your liking. I remember seeing your mother perform this. A shame they did not record her,” he stated conversationally. Adelaide did have such a lovely voice.

“Now I assume you’ve figured out what the plan is,” he set his magazine in his lap, eyes trained on Berlioz. “And if you have, you realize there is very little chance of either of you coming out of this, well, alive. That being said, the more you struggle or try to refuse the worst it will be for you and Simba in the end. Understood?”

BERLIOZ: “And if you have, you realize there is very little chance of either of you coming out of this, well, alive. That being said, the more you struggle or try to refuse the worst it will be for you and Simba in the end.”

No.

His heart pounded with the word. No, no, no. There had to be a way out of this, some way to slip through the cracks, a tiny revolt inside him that would be just strong and clever enough to win. He blinked at Taka, trying to clear his vision, and knew that he and Taka weren’t so different anyway. Besides the whole murdering impulses thing.

But Taka wanted a way outta the mess he’d gotten himself in. Berlioz understood that. He understood that it wasn’t really vengeance that Taka was after, it was impunity. A fresh, clean start.

Killing people wasn’t clean.

So now was his chance. “You don’t have to do this,” he croaked out. Blood trickled down his lip, and he sucked it back into his mouth for a second, the taste sharp. He breathed out roughly. “Y-you don’t. I can make Simba leave. We’ll disappear, I promise, he’ll--he’ll listen to me. We’ll never come back.” His eyes filled with fresh tears at the thought and he had no idea how he was gonna actually convince Simba, but he would. He had to.

TAKA:

Disappearing wasn’t enough. He should have known that before when he had told Simba to leave. He should have known that his nephew would have found a way to stay close in Swynlake. It was what had led to all of this. If Taka had just tied up his loose ends this wouldn't be happening. But he learned from his mistakes and this time it would all be tied up neatly and he would continue living the way he had.

“As much as you may love Simba, there is not a force on this Earth that will make him do anything he doesn't want to do,” he chuckled, moving to stand. How cute this young love was. Thinking that they would do anything for each other. Simba would not leave. Not when Berlioz had been kidnapped and threatened. His need for justice would be too strong. Taka didn't trust Berlioz to deliver on his promise. Taka didn't trust anyone, really. Not anymore.

Sighing deeply, Taka rolled the sleeves of his shirt up and moved closer to Berlioz. “There’s only one way to disappear and make sure none of this ever comes to light.” He offered a feral grin as he moved that much closer. “And that’s both of you dead. I’m sorry. I’ll be sure you and your family get a very nice memorial. Not as nice as Mufasa’s but close.”

BER: So that was it then-- dead. Ber’s insides twisted, but not in terror. It was in anger, which was the kinda thing Berlioz barely ever felt, so when he did, it was cold and ruthless. It flooded him like liquid iron, hardening down into armor. Why should Berlioz do anything this man said if dead was the way it ended? If no matter what, no matter how amiable Ber makes himself, it’d lead to the same place? He could go fast, sure, or he could go slow and painful-- didn’t matter which. Dead was dead. The fear on his bloodied face evaporated. He looked at Taka with a hard line over his brow. “Then why the fuck should I help you? You’re gonna kill us anyway-- you’re gonna kill us and get caught, ‘cause everyone’s gonna know it’s you. Specially after all this.” He stared, hard, right into Taka’s eyes, no longer scared. “You’re the-- the one who should run. While you can. Take everythin’ and disappear. I could even help you.” And Ber would. He’d keep the secret, he’d lie, even to Simba, if it meant Taka let them walk free.

TAKA:

That was... That was anger on his brow and wasn't that just a beautiful thing. It showed Taka that this boy did have a bit of a spine. It just took some time to find it. Time was all that Taka had. He’d have to wait for Simba to get frantic. To actively be searching. It would only take a few hours. But he just needed to draw it out a bit longer. It’d be easier now that Berlioz wanted to fight.

Taka grinned as he leaned down to Ber, eye level with him. “And what makes you think that I need your help. I know how to disappear. To make myself virtually unable to be found. I have the money and the connections. Why would I need help from a whelp like you?”  He laughed in his face before standing back up again.

“I’ve killed before and not been caught. I’m more than certain I could do it again.” He stated nonchalantly. There were plenty of ways to stage Berlioz and Simba’s death. It would be all too easy. “Accidents happen all the time. Good people go missing. Turn up dead. No reasoning necessary. There’s car accidents, kidnappings for political reasons, ransoms being too high to be met. You are not special. Simba is not special. Your deaths will not be special. Understood?”

BER: Berlioz understood. And that hard shell around him only hardened because that was it then, he was done, it was over. He swallowed, breathing a little harsher, knowing that it was gonna start again-- the beating. He could feel the man behind him, waiting for Taka’s instruction like a cobra curled up or a dog with its teeth bared. Course it’d be Berlioz who would give the signal to strike-- soon as he said no.

And he was gonna say no. No to whatever it was Taka wanted from him. His death seemed like an odd, abstract thing at the moment so he couldn’t hold onto it. The pain made him scared-- not the end. Nothing was scary about the end. Not now.

“‘M not gonna listen to you,” Ber murmured, still staring directly at Taka. “So just go ahead and kill me.”

TAKA:

The boy was a martyr. He thought by dying earlier than planned he’d be doing something important. Unfortunately for him that would do nothing. Taka didn't care for martyrs. Didn't care that they thought they were doing something. Whether they were speeding up the end results or changing what was going to happen. It didn't matter. Berlioz would live until Taka decided it was his time to go.

Again, he leaned towards Berlioz, meeting his gaze. “Do you think I take orders from little boys like you? You will go when I decide and only then. All you can do is make it harder for yourself.”

“Take your time, Arthur.” He patted the man on the shoulder. He took one last look at Berlioz before he went back to his magazine, once again turning up the volume of the music to drown out Berlioz’s cries.

BER:

The music got turned on again, cranked all the way up. And then the man kicked the chair over and Ber went toppling.

He barely felt the impact of the ground though because the man’s foot came soon after, slamming into his gut. Ber cried out. Even when he tried to bite down on his lip, he still cried out. It was his body, not him, his body that tried to curl up like a snail or a turtle. It didn’t work though. He tried to make himself small and compact but the hits smashed into him, one after the other. He choked on his own spit and blood and began to cry on the carpet.

He didn’t know how long he was down there-- a minute, five minutes, longer, shorter. Eventually, after he’d stopped crying (it hurt to cry), Art hauled him up again, making the room spin. Ber felt the urge to vomit surface. He wanted to spit out the blood thick in his mouth.

The music stopped again. “There y’go, boss,” drawled the man. “Now try ‘em.”

Try what? Taka hadn’t even-- told him to do anything yet. “I dunno… what y’want me to do,” he mumbled.

TAKA:

The article on a new up and coming designer had held Taka’s interest as Art worked. The LaBlanc woman he had hired to tailor his suits had quit not long after the investigation started. She had left in a whirlwind of french curses and pretty blonde hair. Trouble, is what she had called him. Technically she was not wrong. But her departure had left him without a designer and he did need one desperately.

But this man the article was about sounded promising. If Taka could employ him he’d be wearing the best of the best. And his name would once again be in good with the media. He did so love the arts. Perhaps his next scheme would involve them. They were so underappreciated these days.

Art turning the music down, though, brought his attention to the other task at hand. Young Berlioz. He looked a proper mess. Art was right. He would more than likely do what Taka wanted now.

“I want you to give Simba a little message, of course. I think he’ll respond better to you.”

To be continued....

[patheticphallacy]

It was a busy bee month for me!

While I took a semi-break from blogging- which means I limited myself to only 1 or 2 posts a week, instead of my usual 3 or 4- I took that time to plan out future blog posts (June, specifically) and read a lot.

#PanelAThon happened, which was the absolute best time. I smashed my TBR, in my opinion. Comic-heavy read-a-thons seem to suit me best, so I know how to sort my TBR for future read-a-thons now!

I also started up a brand new Bookstagram which I’m very proud of, even if my sister is helping me with most of the pictures due to her better camera quality. It’s like a project for us both, really: I provide the books and the good cat content, and she helps me position the shots and take pretty pictures!

Towards the end of the month I went to a gig that my best friend’s boyfriend was doing with his band, which was a great time. I also moved my things out of my Uni house! Next year, I’m living in a flat by myself, which is very expensive but will hopefully be worth it.

In June, I’ll be predominantly reading LGBT+ books, which I talked about more in my Pride Month TBR post! I can’t guarantee I’ll finish everything, though, as my twentieth birthday is on the 18th June and I’ll be spending the last two weeks of the month basically with only friends and family for the entire time, which I’m really looking forward to.

Also, last off: all my posts this month are twenty themed. So it’s all lists of twenty things, catered around my birthday and also my general life. I really hope you’ll check the posts out as they come out, I spent a lot of time making the lists and formatting everything for maximum good content.

READING WRAP UP

      This Is Not A Test by Courtney Summers– this was a very human look at the way teenagers would cope in the apocalypse, extremely dark and very upsetting, from the point of view of a suicidal girl. It did let me down in that I wasn’t fully immersed in the story, but it definitely picked up towards the end.

NENENE by Shizuko Totono– while I really wanted to love this, the massive age gap between the two characters really ruined it for me. It tries to make up for the age gap by saying the characters will wait till the main girl is 20, but that honestly makes me quite sick thinking that the only reason they haven’t done anything is because the rest of society are telling them it’s nasty, not because they have any understanding of the massive imbalance of power in that relationship.

The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas by Ursula K. Le Guin– I’ll be honest, I read this because of BTS’s Spring Day music video, but I’m glad I did. It’s a very dark look into a utopian-esque society that only thrives based on the suffering of a child. I really love the distant narrative voice in this piece. 

It Only Happens In the Movies by Holly Bourne– this is one of the most disappointing reads of all time for me. I did a long review of this on my Goodreads breaking down issues I had with the characters and the narrative that really ruined the whole experience. I know I don’t drop star ratings anymore, but this was a definite 1 star. 

      The Case For Jamie by Brittany Cavallaro– This had probably the weakest beginning in the series, with it not picking up until the 160 or so page mark as it relied a lot on info-dumping about Charlotte’s life and didn’t really have much happen. However, the last 150 made up for the weak start, and I really ended up enjoying this and I cannot wait for the final book!

The Unbreakable Code by Jennifer Chambliss Bertman– I really didn’t enjoy this and I am sad. I’m pretty sure it’s a ‘me’ thing, for the narrative, but I will say that there’s a lot of telling instead of showing, which really does lessen my enjoyment as we don’t see characters have any major realisations bar a few. 

By Night #7-#10 by John Allison– this series has flown by! There’s only two issues left now, and I’ll be very sad to see it go, but I definitely think it’s coming to its end.

Labyrinth Coronation #12 by Simon Spurrier– I AM DISTRAUGHT that this series has ended. So so upset. I’m not completely content with this conclusion because a character does something that seems very OOC for them, after their development throughout the series, but I don’t really know how I could have been 100% satisfied with a beloved series coming to a close. 

      Why Photographers Commit Suicide by Mary McCray– this is a poetry collection I’ve had for literal years, a lot based on space and Mars. I was disappointed with this one and didn’t really connect with it overall or gleam anything valuable from it, although there were a few decent poems in there.

Small Spaces by Katherine Arden– I love this! Very atmospheric and creepy middle grade horror about some kids, terrifying scarecrows, and a long history of mysterious deaths and disappearances. 

Nuclear Winter Volume 1 by Caroline Breault– Nuclear Winter is a fun story about a Montreal full of mutants that is in its ninth Winter after a power plant exploded. I love Flavie, the main character, and the art style is perfect for a slice-of-life adventure full of mutants, partying and bagels!

The Silent Companions by Laura Purcell– God, I’m still scared of this book. It’s basically like the terror of the weeping angels, combined with commentary on female hysteria, and is one of the most Gothic settings I’ve ever read. It’s honestly a masterpiece.  

    Haikyuu!! Volumes 1-  by Haruichi Furudate– This is a GOD TIER sports manga, and probably my favourite, volleyball is just great. I absolutely adore these characters and their dynamics, the competitions, the illustrations– it’s all amazing. I have watched the first season of the anime, which means I was already familiar with most of these volumes, but I honestly do prefer the manga over the anime and highly recommend it.

The Walking Dead Volume 2 by Robert Kirkman– OK writing although it’s nothing special, but the art style change was very evident and I highly dislike it. Has a terrible case  of ‘tiny font’ that really ruins any reading experience for my short sighted ass, so I don’t know if I’ll carry on. I just don’t think I carry about the characters enough.

The Loneliest Girl in the Universe by Lauren James– this completely blindsided me. It goes from a sci-fi romance to a sci-fi horror survival story, and I think it’s great. Definitely my favourite Lauren James, she truly is the queen of UKYA sci-fi stories. Apparently her next one is a soft-apocalypse novel, which, YES. 

The Unexpected Everything by Morgan Matson– really disliked this. I think I’ve grown out of the picture perfect beautiful YA characters. Clark never leaves the house and never exercises but apparently has perfect abs and the most chiselled of jaws. It’s just unrealistic, fellas! It doesn’t appeal to me at all. Also suffers from a case of ‘long-book-itis’ and is at least 200 pages of unneeded scenes too long, and is very predictable. 

    Lore Olympus by Rachel Smithe– this is a very pretty adaptation of the abduction of Persephone myth. The art gets better the further you get in, and I really do love the personalities of these Gods and other miscellaneous mythological creatures personified (EXCEPT FOR APOLLO APOLLO SUCKS). Content warning for rape and victim blaming, as well as a character being roofied (unrelated to the rape, though). 

Uzumaki by Junji Ito– very strong first two thirds, but a very dissatisfying conclusion. However it is suitably creepy and has stunning art, and Kirie and Shuichi have a great relationship that I loved seeing develop throughout the story. 

Welcome To Wanderland #1-3 by Jackie Ball– such a lovely series! It’s about fantasy realms and theme parks, magic and rebel princesses, and is very great. Unfortunately #4 won’t be out for a while as the illustrator had to leave for health reasons, but I’m hoping the new illustrator will be able to give this series a good end when it eventually comes out!

Go For It, Nakamura! by Syundei– a very cute manga about gay sixteen year old Nakamura and his pursuit of Hirose, a boy in his class. While this doesn’t end with a romance, it’s still a soft read seeing these characters become friends, and I can only hope another volume will one day be released.

    Coady and the Creepies by Liz Prince– not one of my favourites, but it was enjoyable to read. This follows triplets on the road with their punk rock band collecting pins from all the biggest punk venues in the country, and also has ghosts. Probably my favourite part was commentary on punk rock being inclusive and how so many dudebros have lost sight that the movement was built going against a a discriminatory regime, not upholding it!

I Want To Eat Your Pancreas by Yoru Sumino– this manga literally knocked me TF out for absolutely no reason at all other than wanting to purposefully break my heart. The last 100 pages made this one of my favourite manga of all time just for how slyly it managed to make me care about these characters.

When I Arrived At the Castle by Emily Carroll– an erotic, Gothic graphic novel from a literal master of her craft. I love everything Carroll puts out, although I don’t think this ranks above Through the Woods. It’s very unnerving and has wonderful art, although I’m still just a tad confused by it. 

Nuclear Winter Volume 2 by Caroline Berault– I’m not putting this with volume 1 just because I didn’t like this one as much. It moved way too quickly and I wasn’t as invested in the storyline. However, I do enjoy seeing older-younger sister dynamics, and Flavie and her younger sister Elsie really reminded me of how I am with my younger sister. 

  Teen Dog by Jake Lawrence– an incredible, quirky coming-of-age comic with anthropomorphic animals, best friends, chess, prom, and a dope pug called Thug Pug! I really loved this, it’s one of my new favourite all-time reads. 

Honey So Sweet Volume 1 by Amu Megura– this was OK; not my favourite shoujo manga, and I’m not a big fan of this kind of art style, but it was fun to read and I like the softness of the main boy!

Junji Ito’s Cat Diary: Yon & Mu by Junji Ito– SO TRUE TO LIVING WITH CATS. Cannot express how much I could relate to this, I giggled so much. Ito and his wife do have a little bit at the back talking about Yon’s passing, however, so prepare yourself for that, I ended up crying.

Fullmetal Alchemist Volume 9 by Hiromu Arakawa– I don’t want to talk about it. I’m heartbroken this series is over. I loved this ending, but I’m heartbroken. I cried so many tears of joy, especially at the ending it gives Hohenheim. 

  Smooth Criminals Volume 1 by Kiwi Smith– another OK read! It wasn’t really stand out in comparison to a lot of the other comics I picked up this month, but it’s a quick read, and it has sapphic spies and hackers, if that’s your jam!

Turf Wars Volume 2 and 3 by Michael Dante DiMartino– Finally picked these two volumes up after procrastinating for months! It’s a really cheesy and much deserved conclusion to this graphic novel series, and I’m very much looking forward to the next series coming out. I’m keeping my hopes out for Wu to return, I miss him.

Bungo Stray Dogs Volume 1 by Kafka Asagiri– Very funny detective agency manga where all the characters are inspired by famous literary authors, each possessing powers that aids them investigations. It quickly gets into the main arc and villains. My main issue is that it has that creepy manga trope of having that sibling relationship that’s a bit too close, just for laughs, and it’s something I absolutely despise, so it kind of ruined how much I was loving it for an issue.

My Hero Academia Volume 16 by Kohei Horikoshi– it’s the start of the Overhaul arc, properly! Some decent character development in here, especially for Tamaki, Kirishima and Fatgum, who are the ultimate team, to be honest. 

The Avant-Guards #1 to #5 by Carly Usdin– Carly Usdin genuinely writes some of the best diverse comic series currently. I love this as a sports comic, although I wish there were more issues to develop the characters and their relationships gradually as it does come across as quite rushed at points!

No.6 Volume 1 and 2 by Atsuko Asano– I really love the anime, so I figured it was about time to read the manga! It’s really fast moving, with great characters and a wonderful breakdown of the Utopia/Dystopia dynamic, and I really enjoy it. Shion is genuinely one of the best characters in manga in my opinion.

Faithless #1 by Brian Azzarello– A very dark new series about a woman who experiments in magic and accidentally summons something very dark. It’s strange and unsettling, and I really loved this first issue!

Slam Volume 1 by Pamela Ribon– This wasn’t that great, to be honest. It’s told in a very third person voice that stopped me from ever connecting with the characters, and although I love the roller derby parts and enjoyed the art, it’s not really a standout comic.

And finally, I read the Save Me Webtoon! Pardon my French, but this was so fucking good, and it’s really reminding me why I love both friendship-focused stories and time loop narratives. I think the art is great and I love the story, but I would not recommend this if you’re unfamiliar with the BTS cinematic universe and basic theories. Not all theories- I only knew basics so I could form an opinion on timelines, conclusions, etc.- but just the basics on the time loop theory. I talk more about all this later on in this post, though!

And my June TBR Jar pick is…. HUNGER MAKES ME A MODERN GIRL by Carrie Brownstein!

ESSAYS/ARTICLES

I read this article analysing BTS’s Spring Day, one of my favourite music videos of all time, and it really hit me hard. BTS in general have stunning music videos, so I highly recommend them for anyone who wants interesting visuals and/or a brand new narrative to invest themselves in with the BTS ‘cinematic’ universe.

TV SHOWS/MOVIES/VIDEOS

BTS’s Spring Day music video. Are any of you surprised?

THIS AMAZING CYPHER PT.3 ANIMATION. There are so many little easter eggs! Fans are amazing.

Another BTS video: their Go Go dance practice video is amazing. They all dress up as Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Literally my whole month was spent watching BTS videos. Their whole cinematic universe with their music videos? INCREDIBLE. It starts with the uncut version of I Need U (content warnings for most of the videos discussing suicide, abuse and has a lot of violence), and I realised later on once I’d watched them that the Japanese versions of some of the songs are part of the series! You can find playlists and lists online to help you navigate which videos to watch first. I look at Spring Day as being the conclusion to the cinematic universe with Jin finally saving them all by helping them save themselves, as dramatic as it all sounds.

MUSIC I’VE ENJOYED

I basically spent all month listening to BTS. Particular favourites include Silver Spoon/Baepsae, Answer: Love Myself, Mikrokosmos, Cypher Pt.4, and GoGo!

Nightmare by Halsey is top notch, I got really into Halsey’s hopeless fountain kingdom again this month literally a day before Nightmare came out, so I recommend her! Obviously Boy With Luv is great too, I decided to get into BTS just because the Boy With Luv MV was so great and now look at me!

OTHER POSTS I’VE DONE 

Graphic Recommendations: #PANELATHON

TTT: Characters That Remind Me of Myself

TBR Alphabet Tag

MM: Playlist Book Tag #2

TTT: Books That Should Be TV Shows

Panelathon TBR

TTT: Favourite Books Released in the Last 10 Years

June 20th Announcement

May Wrap Up & June TBR Jar Pick It was a busy bee month for me! While I took a semi-break from blogging- which means I limited myself to only 1 or 2 posts a week, instead of my usual 3 or 4- I took that time to plan out